The Basics for Boosting Your Child’s Mental Wellness

WRITTEN BY ASHLEY BENNETT, PHD, BCBA-D, LBA

We want our children to be healthy and happy, and a child’s mental health is a major component of their overall wellness. But what really is mental health?

Mental health, or mental wellness, is a child’s ability to meet their developmental milestones. This includes social and emotional milestones, such as their ability to communicate with others, adjust to their environment and react to stressful situations. A child’s mental wellness changes based on experiences.

Think about mental wellness as an inflatable innertube. As a child receives positive inputs, like snuggles from a parent or compliments from a friend, their innertube inflates. When a child receives negative inputs, like missing the bus or being called a bad name, their innertube deflates. The more air in their tube, the easier it is for them to navigate the rapids in their lives.

While we can’t always block innertube deflators from our kids, there are some fundamental things we can do to give our children the help they need to stay afloat.

Set Boundaries

Safety and security are at the forefront of childhood mental wellness. At birth, safety and security are felt when babies are held, receive nourishment and have a comfortable place to sleep. As children grow and experience the world, our job as parents is to help them safely navigate their surroundings so they can understand who they are in the world. Rather than guessing what is safe and what isn’t, boundaries allow children to relax, find enjoyment, be creative, build independence and develop healthy selfesteem.

Setting healthy boundaries starts with specifying family rules and developing routines. With smaller children, this can include cleaning up toys, taking turns, sitting at the table when eating or holding hands while crossing the street. For older children and teens, this could look like establishing a curfew, doing chores or setting a homework routine.

How we teach our children boundaries is as important as what we teach. Our children are sponges! We should model what we want to see, so providing clear expectations in a respectful way will teach children they are worthy of respect and act as a model for how to treat others.

Being consistent with our expectations will also reinforce the sense of safety and security. It’s important to let your child feel the impact of crossing a boundary. When doing so, ensure the consequence is respectful, meaningful and ageappropriate.

Prioritize Connection

It’s helpful to think of your family being home base—a place where your children are loved and accepted and where they can come to rest and recharge after venturing out into the world. Regardless of their age, they will need it.

Check in with your child daily. I like the highs, lows and curiosity “game.” Ask your child to tell you the best and least favorite part of the day followed by one thing they’re curious or excited about for the following day. I also like the words, “tell me more,” when I hear a brief answer. Check-ins are easy to embed into dinnertime or bedtime routines.

Schedule “dates” with your child by finding something they like and doing it together— connecting with them around something they’re passionate about. This reinforces that they are important to you and that what they find interesting is meaningful to you. For example, going for a hike, taking a picnic to the park or building a fort in the backyard.

Healthy Choices

Mental and physical wellness are connected. When children’s bodies are functioning at their best, it makes it easier to find innertube fillers and fend off deflaters.

• Nutrition. Eating nutritious food boosts kids’ brain functioning and supports playing, learning and socializing and even helps promote healthy sleep patterns.

• Sleep. Healthy sleep routines help kids’ bodies to restore and recharge. Current recommendations of American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) indicate kids ages 6-12 need 9-12 hours of sleep a night. Having a consistent bedtime and wake time are key for maximizing sleep benefits.

• Exercise. Minimize technology and get outside! Exercise helps boost natural hormones that help kids feel happy.

Laying the groundwork for our kids’ mental wellness can be a lot of work, but it’s worth it for everyone in the family. The best place to start is checking in with your family’s needs and seeing what is feasible. Bite off what you can chew and layer in other strategies as they make sense, offering yourself grace in the process.

Ashley Bennett is the Behavioral Health Integrations Manager for Montana Pediatrics, a statewide collaborative of pediatric providers coming together to increase access to health care and health equity for all children in Montana. Learn more at montanapediatrics.org.