Medical Mums surviving diagnosis with strength beyond your expectations

By Elizabeth Clements

WHILE EXPECTING OUR FOURTH CHILD, MY HUSBAND AND I RECEIVED THE DIFFICULT NEWS THAT OUR SON HAD AN INCURABLE AND LIFE-ALTERING MEDICAL CONDITION. EVERY PERFECT EXPECTATION I HAD HAD FOR MY FAMILY’S LIVES, WAS SHATTERED WHEN WE RECEIVED HIS DIAGNOSIS.

Instantly we joined the unofficial group of other medical families with diagnoses. A group of families that you only appreciate exist, once you become one of them. Within these families, we may all have different diseases, but we all share similar emotions and challenges.

Sometimes the difficulties of being a family living with challenging medical conditions can be utterly heartbreaking. Some days we simply survive, other days we thrive.

Something felt oddly familiar, like I had been here before. Not as a mum, but as a sibling. Going through the motions with life the way we knew it changed forever. I had now gone from stalwart sibling to indomitable mother. I do not pity our journey, I know I have been prepared for this. I am not always sure how I persevere, but I always know I can.

Watching your child battle the challenges of chronic illness, allows you to bear witness to the immeasurable strength and resilience they possess and teach you time and time again. Mama, you’re stronger than you know, your story isn't in silence. Keep going; you are a warrior. Take deep healing breaths. Allow your tears to fall, then be reassured knowing this isolating journey is not yours alone; let me walk with you.

At times, my heart feels broken. Words I cannot say aloud; if I do, I might fall in a heap, never quite getting up. So I keep going; strong, exhausted and more determined than ever. With a smile on my face, because how else do I convince myself we’ll be okay?

It aches to see my child’s struggle, knowing nothing I do will make it vanish. I have prayed for this countless times before, pleading on my knees, eyes heavenward, “Keep my baby safe and strong, let me take his burdens on, as You know so well”. What I would not give to thrust this challenge from our lives. Heartbreaking, mind-aching, we wade through. Brain on fire, bodies against us, when they should be by our side. Have you betrayed me? Temple of our Souls, Keeper of Lives? Yet, we continue to carry the burden of the physical body and its unavoidable imperfections.

It aches, yet there is joy, smiles through the pain. Triumphs we cling to. I promise to find joy, the happy moments. I refuse not to.

My tears fall quietly as I hold you close during another frightening assessment; traversing the cords, tubes and wires, so I can hug you tight.

I muster the courage to speak the truth when my child asks. Somehow the right words fall from my mouth, helping him understand what this disease means for him.

Because my boy, I am her, I am the one. Mother, Nurse, Educator, Carer, Liaison, Advocate; and I've got you.

Medical Mums surviving diagnosis with strength beyond your expectations

by Elizabeth Clements

Elizabeth is a devoted mother of three earthside and one angel in heaven, who is inspired by the potential and possibility for good in those around her. She has worked in aged care and supporting children with chronic illness and special needs. Qualified as an enrolled nurse, carer, and currently studying to be a breastfeeding counsellor and educator, Elizabeth has always had a love for learning and teaching. She volunteers her time at Riding for the Disabled, and Days for Girls where she has been involved in preparing and distributing reusable menstrual kits, educating women and girls on menstrual hygiene and personal care in Australia and Africa. She was also privileged to raise money for the Catherine Hamlin Fistula Hospital in Ethiopia, where she visited and ran the 10km Great Ethiopian Run in promotion of the hospital and the empowerment of girls to become leaders. Elizabeth loves poetry and enjoys writing, she is proactive, hardworking, and empathic. Her supportive nature means that you will never stand alone in a just cause. Along with all she does for others, she still makes time for impromptu dance parties, rock or tree climbing, and cooking that she sometimes cannot live down.