Mama Rising

LET’S IMAGINE FOR A MOMENT WE THOUGHT ABOUT THE PROCESS OF BECOMING A MOTHER COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY. LET’S JUST PLAY A GAME OF PRETEND FOR A SECOND.

Imagine we lived in a world where women were honoured for their ability to create life. A world in which we were seen as the source of life, the creators, the ones who held the future in their hands. Imagine if we knew that in the process of becoming a mother, a woman was finally stepping into her full power: she was awakening to herself, to her ability and her strength.

Imagine she was told it’s going to get bumpy - because all transformations must contain contrast - but she was safe. That it was part of the process. And in fact, it was the best bit. It was the part that was going to crack her open and expose her true grit and beauty. She was going to emerge from this whole, free from what she used to think was important, free from the attachment to all that she thought she was.

When I first heard about matrescence, I cried and cried. But then I was angry. I still am. Because after years of talking to and coaching thousands of mamas stuck in the middle of that bad dream out of their control, I can see that most of our pain comes from our judgement of ourselves. It comes from our belief that we ‘should have this figured out’.

Most of the time, we think it’s the kids we need to figure out. It’s the act of mothering. If only we could get the routine right, or the food right, or the bedtime right, we’ll nail it. Then, it will all stop being so hard, and we will be OK again. But children never stop evolving, which means the ‘problem’ we’re trying to fix never stops evolving either.

And so, we never stop judging and searching. That’s why matrescence can never be about where you are in relation to where you child is - it has to be all about you.

Read the extract of Mama Rising, by Amy Taylor-Kabbaz in this issue.

Published by Hay House