The Playground Dynamic Getting rid of bullying and other toxic behavior while building a new era of social skills and power thinkers starting on the playground.
Althea Ledford
The Playground Dynamic www.theplaygrounddynamic.com Althea Ledford
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Concept Origination Aldeme Mitchell
Age Recommendation
This book is recommended for parents, educators, and teachers of children 6 years and up.
Disclaimer
The information, procedures, and recommendations in this book are not intended as a substitute for basic parenting skills or the advice of a trained professional. All matters regarding your child require supervision. Consult a trained professional before adopting the suggestions in this book or any conditions that may require professional attention. In addition, statements made by the author regarding certain products do not constitute an endorsement of any product, service, or organization by the author or publisher, each of whom specifically disclaims any responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal, or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this book or any of the products mentioned herein.
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Dedicated to parents and educators who understand that big ideas start in small places, that little people have big minds and hearts, and that with the right tools and inspiration any little one can be The ONE to make our world a better place.
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Credits Author: Althea Ledford Althea@thegatebookcompany.com Illustrations: Althea Ledford Creative Director: Aldeme Mitchell Editor: Sarah Fay, proofreadingPal.com Publisher: The Gatebook Company www.thegatebookcompany.com
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The Playground Dynamic Training videos available on our website. www.theplaygrounddynamic.com
www.youtube.com/Theplaygrounddynamic Join us and share your story on www.facebook.com/Theplaygrounddynamic www.twitter.com/theplaydynamic
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The Playground Dynamic Getting rid of bullying and other toxic behavior while building a new era of social skills and power thinkers starting on the playground.
Althea Ledford 7
The Playground Dynamic Getting Rid of Bullying and Other Toxic Behavior while Building a New Era of Social Skills and Power Thinkers Starting on thePlayground.
Copyright@2013 by Althea Ledford All rights reserved. No part of this work covered by the copyrights herein may be reproduced or used in any form or by any means—graphic, electronic, or mechanical— without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any request for photography, recording, taping, or information storage and retrieval systems of any part of this book shall be directed in writing to: The Gatebook Company Publications www.theplaygrounddynamic.com allygatebooks@gmail.com Author Althea Ledford Illustrations Althea Ledford Ingram Content Group 14 Ingram Blvd. LaVergne, TN 37086 Library of Congress Catalogingin Publication Data available upon request ISBN 978-1-938116-08-7 Printed in the United States of America March 2013
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The Playground Dynamic Table of Contents A Message to Parents and Educators
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Foreword: A Population of Children
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Chapter 1 What Is a Healthy Playground Dynamic?
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Sterile Playground Environment
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Bullies Gone Wild
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Being bullied by older siblings or parents
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Mental Illness
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Behavior Disorder, Anger, and Rage
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Abuse at Home
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Lack of Discipline or Structure at Home
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Unmonitored or Under-Monitored Areas on the Playground
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Lack of Clear Guidelines
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Lack of Consequences
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Preconditions and Bullying Go Ignored
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Who Gets Bullied
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A Healthy Playground Environment
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The Physical Environment
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The Children in It
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The Playground Dynamic Table of Contents Chapter 2 Character Soup
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Chapter 3 What Feeds into the Playground Dynamic from the Outside
35 36 37 37 37 38
No Siblings Rank among siblings Gender Family Dynamics Environment and Adaptability
Chapter 4 Kid-to-Kid Social Skills and Activities 40 43 45 49
Develop the Skill of Storytelling Learn and Teach a Topic Create a Story
Chapter 5 Building a Healthy Playground Dynamic The Physical Playground Environment Shared Messages with Each Other The Physical Playground Environment Exercises Free Play Objects, Textures, and Materials Exercise, Challenge, and Competitive Sports Actions, Expressions, and Emotions 10
52 52 53 53 54 56 58 60
The Playground Dynamic Table of Contents Shared Messages to Each Other Exercises
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Exercise #1
62 64 65
Start with Definitions
Exercise #2 What Color Are these Words Exercise #3 What Impact Would these Words Have on Another Person? Exercise #4 The Power of Words Planting Power Words in a Classroom or Playground Planting Destructive Words and Failure Concepts in a Classroom Planting Power Words and Ideas in a Family Planting Destructive Words and Failure Concepts in a Family Planting Power Words and Ideas in a Community Planting Destructive Words and Failure Concepts in a Community Planting Power Words and Ideas in the World Planting Destructive Words and Failure Concepts in the World Exercise #5
Where Are my Words Coming From?
Exercise #6 Planting Power Words and Phrases Exercise #7 Name in Lights Weaving the Fabric of Humanity Exercises Exercise #8 Pie Slicing Exercise Exercise #9
Finish Your Own Story: What Would You Do?
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66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 79 82 84 93 95 95
The Playground Dynamic Table of Contents Exercise #10
Study the Failures of Successful People
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Exercise #11 Debate a New Idea Or a New Law
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Individual Personal Messages Exercises Exercise #12 Developing Intuition and Broader Patterns of Logic Exercise #13 Helping Kids Design a New Tool Box Exercise #14 Define the Greater Voice:
113 114 117 123
Exercise #15 Stay the Course with Your Greater Voice Stay the Course with the Greater Voice Graduation
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Chapter 6 Developing Multiple Roadmaps
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Diagramming the Relationship Between Fear and Personal Choice
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Chapter 7 Conclusion Prepare for Greatness, Plan a Win Key Historical Benchmarks Prompting Social Evolutions Hunter-and-Gatherer Societies Agricultural Societies Patterns in Human Behaviors Associated with Each Evolution The Priceless Attribute of Our Kids
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136 137 137 137 138 141
A Message to Parents and Educators The Playground Dynamic reveals three key life concepts that children can learn in a play-
ground environment: Concept #1 Discovering one’s passion, purpose, and vision, Concept #2 Having the courage and initiative to act on that purpose, passion, and vision, Concept #3 Developing the talent, skills, and resources to bring a passion or dream into reality, and through the exercises in this book. When a child physically plays on the playground, the child’s mind and spirit plays as well. When spirits and minds play, they flow, innovate, create and grow things. We’ve all heard the comment, “I just picked that up or pulled it out of thin air.” The truth is we pick up bits logic and information from an infinite number of sources and we make sense of our environment from more than just our eyes, ears, nose, and hands. The more we experience as children, the more we have the capacity to imagine, hope , and dream. The three concepts we focus on in “The Playground Dynamic” are described as follows:
Concept #1: Discovering one’s passion, purpose, and vision
Self-discovery is a process that involves playing with toys, trying different activities, and working with materials over and over again. Through various challenges, stimulation, failures, and successes, a child’s mind, body, and spirit develop a greater capacity for comprehension and sharper cognitive skill sets. In a playground environment, kids swing, run, slide, laugh, scream, play tag, throw, catch, and roll around until they are exhausted. All of these activities plus the exercises in chapter 5 create a stronger foundation for dynamic social development. 13
Concept #2: Having the courage and initiative to act on that purpose, passion, and vision
Dreams are not harnessed by wimps; they are the burdens of brave beings. The children who say this can be better, I can make a difference, or I will change this condition or place , demonstrate courage and insight from a very young age. People don’t just wake up one day and decide to be powerful, passionate, and purposeful. It’s usually a characteristic that develops over time, often starting in childhood. Some of the world’s problems, big and small, are solved in the most untraditional ways by unlikely heroes. Some of these heroes are nurses, teachers, farmers, police officers, and bus drivers—average citizen. But anyone that steps out of their comfort zone to address a bigger need has had that ability inside of them from early on.
Concept #3: Developing the talent, skills, and resources to bring a passion or dream into reality The door to genius is something no two people walk through the same way. Tools to communicate, exposure to unique perspectives, and direct experience create a technical reserve that allows a seemingly normal person to create the extraordinary. The more equipped our mental thesaurus1, the greater our ability to conceptualize and create. In the world we’re headed into with exponentially self propagating complexity, we need brilliant, resourceful minds that are able to conceptualize complex issues and strategies. We need kids who understand, possess the courage, and see the value of addressing world issues.
This book is meant to be enlightening, thought provoking, and fun. Don’t be put off by the theoretical concepts placed throughout the book. Its primary focus is on the social benefits of the content and the exercises. The most important thing to remember is that every child with hope is “the one”. one
1Mental
Thesaurus; The Cognitive skill of recognizing, relating or cross referencing logic or natural laws that appear similar in function.
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Foreword: A Population of Children There’s a legacy we leave on the playground. Do you remember running until your chess hurt because you couldn’t catch your breath? Do you remember laughing so hard you and your friends couldn’t hear the “wah-wah” of the grownups? Or swinging in a swing so high that the breeze actually whistles as it brushed past your ears? There’s no better exercise than the physical drama of being chased in a game of tag or racing to really, really win. And at the end of every day you make a secret pact with that playground and all your friends in it. You say, “I’ll be back. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
The Playground Dynamic examines in detail the importance of an organically developed
social dynamic. Kids need to develop themselves and have an opportunity to begin establishing their own greater voices. These skills evolve into a foundation that they will reference for the rest of their lives. Strong social skills give kids the personal power to navigate through and maintain a safe environment for themselves.
The Playground Dynamic is based on three fundamental theories : Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a recent study regarding the value of the Earth’s assets, and the impact that the speed of information sharing has on social behavior.
The first theory is Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Maslow’s theory illustrates how
individuals evolve in their thinking and mindset based on a hierarchy of needs. This theory is applicable to individuals, communities, and collective environments. However, the earliest demonstration of this theory starts as early as the playground. Maslow’s theory applied to the playground and classroom environments can be summarized as follows:
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Level 1: The first level is physiological needs. For kids that includes breathing, food, water, health, and sleep . Level 2: The second level is physical security and interpersonal security. For kids that includes not being bullied, inclusion instead of isolation, no cruel treatment, no harassment, and safety in self-expression. Level 3: The third level is love and belonging. For kids that simply means the freedom to be, strong friendships, and a supportive family. Level 4: The forth level is self-esteem. For kids that includes confidence, achievement, respect for others, kid-to-kid communication, debating, discussion, negotiating, and leadership. Level 5: The fifth level is self-actualization. For kids that includes morality, creativity, spontaneous problem solving, lack of prejudice, and acceptance of facts. Based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, if kids feel threatened, bullied, abused, or mistreated, it affects their ability to focus, learn, and ascend to the next level. More specifically, to concentrate, think, create, problem solve, or self-actualize. A significant amount of their energy and focus is drawn towards correcting or surviving those negative elements. The danger is that while kids try and figure out what’s wrong, they may mistakenly conclude that the fault is with them. This can create dysfunction.
The Playground Dynamic pushes kids through the levels of Maslow’s theory both organically and through the playground dynamic exercises. If a child or person is unable to address or correct that need within the hierarchy, they will become stuck or hardwired at a level less than their full potential.
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The Second Theory is based on a study that aired on the History Channel entitled “What’s the Earth Worth?” This study presented a list of the earth’s elements that are recognized as assets, including gold, metal, water, timber, diamonds and a host of elements that totaled an estimated $6,873,951,620,979,800 in value. However, in the final analysis, the most valued asset in the world was human ingenuity and our ability to create. With that information, the value of opening our children’s minds to optimal levels of thinking is priceless. In the future, much of what mankind can imagine, be it good or bad, can manifest quickly . So character, intent, and integrity are even more important. In the future, our collective thinking will become our reality, and define us almost instantaneously. More than ever, we need to understand the increasing connectivity of all people. The intent to love thy neighbor as thyself will be the secret element to our survival. We basically have to be mentally bigger in every way.
The third theory is based on the impact that the speed of information sharing has on social behavior. The public will take quick looks and form quick opinions about individuals, groups of people, and countries. Due to the lightningfast pace of information exchange, people will make increasingly accurate analyses of intent and behavior. This accuracy will not be due to the abundance of thought out 17
dialogue or prepared statements, but a summation of real time facts and immediate responses. A factual picture formed by pixels of raw data. The key is our increasing ability to process raw data quickly. This means less room for deception, fragmented data, and inconsistencies because no one person, group, or industry is the sole source of information. Also, we will learn to read several sources of information in a fluid manner. In the future, transparency will become the norm instead of the exception. People will be able to communicate with each other directly through future versions of chat rooms, avatars and the next generations of social media. Adaptive thinking, cross-referencing processes, and broader patterns of logic, speed up our problem solving techniques. When faced with challenges, instead of focusing on a single solution dependant on a specific set of circumstances, we adapt to anticipate several alternatives to a single problem, thus increasing the probability of success. Kids will start to think and incorporate more long term consequences or the broader global (if any) impact of their decisions. This evolved thinking represents a significant progression from the current practice of immediate gratification or decisions based exclusively on profit-based objectives. This new perspective will not be the result of deep wisdom, but the immediate feedback made available through social media. Social media and socially powered technologies are shaping the behavior of humanity. This influence is affecting the fabric of humanity as a whole rather than segmented groups, countries, or cultures.
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What is a Healthy Playground Dynamic ?
Healthy Playground Dynamic
Neutralized Suppressed Children
Bullies Gone Wild
We have all seen groups of children that have been so suppressed and neutralized that they function like little robots. And we’ve also seen the other extreme where little kids act like monsters. Somewhere in the middle is an ideal balance of personality, manners, and drive. Because the playground is the pre-stage to real life, we should consider the long-term effort of over-suppression or cosigning bad actors. Both set a precondition for unhealthy long-term behavior. Before we describe a healthy playground dynamic, we must first discuss the characteristics and impact of the two negative extremes.
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Sterile Playground Environment
In a sterile playground environment or a sterile classroom environment, kids are suppressed and bullied by adults. This is demonstrated by kids that are too afraid to have fun, talk, provide feedback, or ask questions. In this type of environment, personality isn’t encouraged, original ideas are suppressed, and kids don’t have a voice. From an educational standpoint, this type of environment encourages the rote memorization of information without true mastery, which is evidenced by streamlining, simplification, and innovation. In this environment, new ideas are not encouraged. Kids are on “intake mode” with minimal opportunity for free expression.
Bullies Gone Wild
On the other end of the spectrum there is bullies verses the school or what we call, “bullies gone wild.” Bullying represents a dysfunction within the social dynamic. The purpose of this book is to stop the bullying without eliminating the other healthy social dynamics that kids need in their development.
Bullies are a result of the following:
Being bullied by older siblings or parents Mental illness Guardians that suffer from mental illness Behavior disorder, anger, or rage Abuse at home Lack of discipline or structure at home
Being bullied by older siblings or parents Often parents allow older siblings chastise and intimidate the younger ones. All behavior that involves bullying or any form of bullying should be off limits. Just because one sibling is older doesn’t mean that sibling has leadership integrity. Putting older kids in charge means adult rules are being followed, not simply the big kids bossing around the younger 20
ones. When older siblings can be in charge without following adult rules, then the bullies’ children will come to school or the playground and imitate that same behavior. Mental Illness The causes of mental illness vary. If a child is demonstrating signs of extreme behavioral disorders, outbursts, anger, or violence, they should be evaluated. Many cultures don’t want the stigma that mental illness or talking to a therapist carries. But many adult disorders started in childhood and went unnoticed. They were rationalized, improperly addressed, or ignored. Behavior Disorder, Anger, and Rage The best way to be alerted to behavioral disorder is a change in behavior. For example, if a child is normally an A or B student and suddenly that behavior changes, have them evaluated. The key here is to pay attention. If they child is normally outgoing and suddenly becomes withdrawn, have them evaluated. If the guardian(s) have busy, highly demanding life styles, changes in behavior can go unnoticed for years. Abuse at Home Any type of abuse will yield a negative reaction. Kids, as well as adults, may display anger and repressed feelings for a long time after the abuse has ended. These demonstrations can occur anywhere, including the classroom or playground. Lack of Discipline or Structure at Home Outside of any physical or mental causes for bad behavior, children may just act out because they are allowed to. A child’s behavior may be out of control for the following reasons: 1. The child never had structure 2. The parents have no tools to cope 3. The behavior has gone on too long to change without help
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Guardians and parents should seek help immediately. In this situation, the child suffers in the long run by being labeled with bad behavior. He or she will began seeking friendships with other kids labeled with bad behavior. If the problem is a lack of structure, kids can’t be expected to suddenly comply with structure if they’ve never had any. Establishing and maintaining structure takes time.
Bullies are enabled by the following.
Unmonitored or Under-Monitored Areas on the Playground The act of bullying involves manipulation, fear, and intimidation. Kids or groups that attempt to bully would rather do it away from adult supervision. Teachers that are afraid of students represent no threat or consequences. If bullying is going to occur on the playground, it will occur in the blind (unmonitored) spots, i.e., behind buildings, in stairways, or in obstructed areas. Lack of Clear Guidelines Most kids already have an idea of right or wrong; however, if the guidelines aren’t clearly stated, that becomes a loophole. Playgrounds and classrooms should have a clear set of written guidelines. These guidelines should be verbally recited to the kids often. Lack of Consequences When kids fail to follow the rules—and some of them will—make sure to follow through with consequences. Consequences should match the infraction. If they’re too harsh, you’ll create fear. If they’re too lenient, the consequences are meaningless. Kids can learn from the violations of rules. One way to address this is through kids’ court, which is discussed in chapter 5. Preconditions and Bullying Go Ignored Like most predatory behavior, kids trying to bully other kids go through a period of sizing up the potential victims. The potential bully wants to make sure they will be successful if they start to bully someone. This sizing-up process occurs through series of challenges, group harassments, whispering, or isolation. A large amount of it depends on who’s doing the bullying girls or boys. Preconditions to bullying should be addressed immediately. 22
Teachers or Administrators Unresponsive to Reports of Bullying Lack of action is code for “don’t but it’s ok to do it again.” Teachers and administrators need to have two strong paths on every campus. The first path is to get help. The message and subsequent actions need to all say that if kids need help, we are here to talk with them and listen. As mentioned before, angry children tend to take their aggressions out on other children.
The second path is “no tolerance” for acting out or bullying. The message is clear that it is never okay to take your aggressions out on others. Who Gets Bullied
Smaller children Timid children Kids with physical disabilities Kids with mental disabilities Kids with weight issues Kids with accents Kids that are smart
Kids that appear slow Kids that stand out Redheads Kids whose skin color is too light or too dark Kids who are culturally different Kids that wear glasses Kids that appear weak and venerable
Basically anyone that’s different could become the victim of bullying. And that means bullying should not be popular. It should be looked upon as a cry for help that should be addressed immediately, whether it’s an individual or a group. 23
A Healthy Playground Environment
A healthy playground environment consists of two key elements: the physical environment and the children in it. We’ll start with the environment itself.
The Physical Environment Open space and light Just as we need a clear space in our spirits and minds, kids need open spaces to play—not open dirty spaces or open dull spaces but open clean bright spaces. That sends an open, clean, bright message. Light infers hope. In both the classroom and on the playground, it communicates bright warm possibilities. No unmonitored (blind spot) areas Bullying happens in the dark or out of sight. By eliminating blind spots, you create a deterrent to bad behavior. Responsive leadership and administration Kids that are misbehaving know who to misbehave with. That includes teachers, administrators, and all adults. Responsive leadership makes the other kids feel safe. It tells them that if something happens, someone is there to protect them and respond. Clear communication of rules & boundaries Write the rules in big bright colors. Review them on a regular basis. On occasion, make jokes about exactly what they mean and what they do not mean. The humor will help the information stick.
The Children in It We’ve all talked to kids that can hold mature conversations that seem well beyond their years or heard them speaking to each other and making perfectly good sense about things many adults didn’t know they understood. Kids have the amazing ability to adapt to and 24
grow in the environment they are exposed to. The key here is good exposure and an expectation of excellence. Have the skill sets to resist bullying People in general, especially people with a purpose, have to learn to function and overcome adverse situations. They must learn not to give into the wrong type of pressure. The history of the United States is really a story of little guys having the courage to stand up to a bully. The bully, Great Britain, wanted to take the little guys,’ the Colonies,’ lunch money, or taxes, and deny them representation. The little guys said no. That big “no” evolved into the Declaration of Independence. A confrontation ensued called the American Revolutionary War. Some time later, the United States of America was born. So you see how important it is to keep the right type of fight in your child’s skills set. Develop core team-building skills Every kid should have the ability to coordinate a group to achieve a common purpose. Each one should have the opportunity to be in charge. By recognizing the effort it takes to build teams, kids are likely to cooperate when working with other team leaders. Teambuilding activities require kids to present their ideas to their team members, answer questions, assign responsibilities among team members, and work with the team to complete the tasks. Be able to negotiate Kids should learn the art of negotiation. Start by understanding what the term negotiate means: ne·go·ti·ate nəˈgōSHēˌāt 1)To confer with another or others in order to come to terms or reach an agreement.
Share historical stories about successful negotiations. Kids will find the benefit of having the ability discuss and resolve their own issues. Debates and subsequent negotiations are discussed in chapter 5. 25
It is best for kids to learn to negotiate their differences by listening and discussing both points of view before coming to a solution. This is a difficult task, even for adults. It will always be a work in progress. In order to gain the ability to see the bigger picture, kids must learn the skill of effective communication. It doesn’t mean giving up ground; it means being fair and communicating with integrity from a broader perspective than the me-me and mine. Have great networking skills When a kid or a person can understand the value of working with other people towards a common goal, their worlds will change. It’s through networking and learning about other people that kids can realize their own visions. Instead of seeing other kids as the enemy, they see them as possible partners to complete something bigger than themselves. If they can take the next step and help other kids with their visions, then they are well on the way to becoming the kind of people this world needs more of. Understanding constructive conflict resolution Kids understand that it’s okay to disagree. Most conflicts derive from a lack of communication. Before kids get to that point, it’s important for them to understand that what the real issues are. So kids learn that when they are working with friends and a disagreement arises, they need to move from conflict to a process of clarification to argument or to agree to disagree. If a resolution is needed beyond that point, they can use a technique called voting to reach a decision. Improve verbal skills With the various opportunities to present, negotiate, and debate, kids will improve their communication skills. The ability to verbalize ideas builds confidence and makes kids less apprehensive about sharing their ideas with others. Prep their minds for learning The healthiest classrooms are the classrooms in which the teacher can sweep everything off the counter and get a clear slate every morning. The counter is like the mind of each student. The “everything” is all the stuff kids could have on their minds as a distraction. A “clean slate” is a clear mind. 26
Listen and share This is an art everyone needs to learn and freshen up on several times throughout life. The earlier we learn to listen and communicate the less frustrated we will be in life. Learn and understand about physically different kids The sooner kids learn that there is a unique personality under every physical appearance, the sooner they learn to appreciate the whole person. As part of their curriculum, they will learn to see people as whole-people all of the time. They will meet people where they are. If they are unable to walk, then they will sit and talk with them. If some friends sign, then they will learn a few words of sign language. If their friends are blind, then they will learn to communicate in that world. It can be rewarding to make friends with those that are differently abled. It builds character, and they may meet some of their most loyal buddies. Don’t pass up the opportunity to befriend a great person. Increase curiosity and research skills The key to learning is curiosity. If kids are curious and learn to do their own research (supervised research for smaller kids), they will start asking and answering questions. Kids can learn almost anything at any point in their lives. While they lack maturity in understanding complex emotional issues, they can understand facts and are hardwired for information. Communicate with a broad range of people The broader the range of people kids experience, the broader their experiences and points of reference. They will be able to relate to other countries, cultures, and personalities, which will give them “people smarts.� They should know something about all cultures. This will give them a starting point in communicating and sharing ideas as well as creating a greater range of possibilities in their lives. The key characteristics to a healthy playground environment emphasizes balance, a broader awareness of their environment, and social skills complimented by social media rather than dominated by it.
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Differences and personalities are to be celebrated and there is no better place to observe them in their full glory than on the playground. The playground is full of unique personalities that have come together to create a temporary kid society. Although no two people are exactly alike, we can characterize “types� of individuals. The following types appear during free play: the clown, the nerd, the bully, the jock, the instigator, bystanders, groupies, social butterflies, and leaders. One child may take on several of these traits whereas others will be a single type of character. The process of developing a personality takes time. The difference between forcing a drone or a non-sociable little person to evolve is the same as the difference between a cake baked in a microware or a cake slowly baked in an oven. They may look similar on the outside but as soon as you start to taste the micro waved cake, it will only remind you of what a properly baked cake should taste like.
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The clown: Their goal is to get a laugh. Sometimes it’s at someone else’s expense and other times it’s at their own expense. Most of the time, the intention is not to hurt anyone, just to keep the class or group entertained. Attributes: Usually this type of individual has a keen sense of social rhythm and timing, especially if they can pull something out of thin air. Benefit to the soup: Keep in mind that laughing is one of the healthiest most healing things we can do. None of us should take ourselves to seriously.
The risk taker: Also known as the adventurer, this type has no fear and may spend a lot of time in the ER. This type is the first to jump, climb, role, tumble, break, capture, or find something new. They are easily board and need constant stimulation. Attributes: A risk taker has the personality of a firefighter, an adventurer, an athlete, a pilot, and an astronaut. Benefit to the sou:-They test the limits of life and if they survive, everyone else has something new to marvel at and look forward to.
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The Geek: Otherwise known as the geek, this type is curious, genuinely likes to learn, and understands the material. They have an appetite for detailed information on subjects they like. They read and inquire far beyond what the classroom assignment requires. This type may have little concern for appearance or social popularity. Attributes: This type has the brainpower and focus to create new inventions, discover the next horizon, or unlock mysteries that will help mankind. Benefit to the Soup: They take the time to ask the deeper questions. They keep staring at seemingly unrelated facts and recognize something important in them. The bully: Intentionally intimidates or harasses other kids. The reasons include anger, rage, prodding, or manipulation by an instigator. Some kids assume the role of the bully in order to get recognition, respect, or attention. The bully usually works in the dark or out of site of authority. The key is to keep a light on the situation in a very hands-on way. Redirect that energy and get to the bottom of the behavior. Benefit to the Soup: This type presents us with an opportunity to improve, heal, and change a negative force. It gives us the opportunity to face and overcome our individual fears and help someone overcome theirs.
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The jock: This type plays sports or looks as if her or she could play sports. This type is often physically fit, attractive, and popular. Attributes: If he or she plays on a team, the jock usually develops great teamwork or leadership skills. This type is also willing to take risks to win and can be quite competitive. They seldom become victims. Benefit to the soup: The jock inspires and encourages groups of people. Their personal message pushes others to go further, work harder, and run faster.
The instigator: This character stirs up trouble. They manipulate people for control and entertainment purposes. Instigators do their misdeeds in the open or sometimes bury themselves among the bystanders and shout out comments to keep the trouble brewing. Benefit to the Soup: This type is an opportunity to teach the group about the consequences of instigating trouble. It’s an opportunity to teach the instigator to take co-responsibility for the problems they participate in creating. It’s important for them to understand that words and actions carry energy and consequences. Instigators should always be included when consequences are being delivered. They usually play a significant role in the problem.
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Groupies and Bystanders: These types follow the action around and provide an audience for the characters that need attention. Attributes: A healthy “group” can set and maintain a sense of safety and be very effective in preventing instances of bullying from happening. Benefit to the Soup: Groupies and bystanders reflect the quality and character of an entire group. In the educational process, groupies and bystanders must understand that it is never okay to watch, ignore, or bow down in the presence of injustice. They can do something even if it’s no more than take notes or go get help and report an incident.
Leaders: These characters are charismatic. People naturally follow them and want to hang around them or listen to them. This type has the “it factor.” They are good communicators and problem solvers. They appear to be decision makers. Benefits to the soup: Leaders herd the group. If it’s positive leadership, they can set great examples for everyone else.
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The shy one: This type is uncomfortable in crowds and doesn’t like too much attention. They function better in small groups. Benefits to the soup: Shy people can make great contributions if they feel comfortable enough to join in.
Social butterflies: This one has a need for attention and recognition. They usually don’t get into trouble because that would cause “negative” attention. The social butterfly wants positive attention. They can go to great lengths to be the center of conversation. Benefit to the soup: Social butterflies usually appear to be positive people. They are great at reaching out and creating positive energy. Like the leader type, people really like being around social-butterfly types. Old souls: If you have one of these, you know it. It’s that kid that has wisdom beyond his or her years. They say things a person twice their age would say. They may be compassionate thinkers and just speak the truth as they see it. They ‘re not intimidated and do not try to impress anyone. They don’t really care about fitting in. They are interested in people. Benefit to the soup: Old souls usually are the voice of reason in the crowd. They are the mediator or agent of peace. They are often the only friend that some kids have. 33
There are several “types” that can be included in a character soup. When kids with different personalities come together, they “create” their own unique character soup. As they participate in that dynamic, each kid can benefit from a healthy character soup. For the most part, character soups are tremendously satisfying. Each kid learns something about the other kids, including their personality types. They learn about themselves as well.
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What Feeds into the Playground Dynamic from the outside Parenting Styles
Rank among Siblings
Genders Mix at Home
No Siblings
Family Dynamic
Social Skills & Etiquette
Problem Solving Techniques used at Home
Social Media & Technology
Environment & Adaptability
Every child on a playground represents the sum total of a random selection of a gene pool. That exact math never happens twice. That’s why we are unique. Even with twins, they are as close as two people can be yet still become different as their lives unfold. If that weren’t enough, there are several current variables that further influence who a child is before they even get on to the playground. Again, these are general groupings of influence. Each child could respond differently to the same influences. 35
Parenting Styles Healthy parenting styles range from unstructured and casual to highly structured and stringent. The logic would follow that kids with loosely structured households could have trouble adapting to highly structured classrooms and vice versa, Kids coming from highly structured households may have to adjust to a relaxed educational environment in terms of the flow of ideas and not being afraid of getting an answer wrong. Although there isn’t one way to get this right, consider pulling effective practices from a few styles. Because every child is different, there is no cookie cutter method to getting it right. It is a process of trial and error. Start with a few key things parents do that are detrimental across the board. As parents, we rest the expectations of our children on the outside world. When we create rewards without effort, the child’s “norm” is warped. When we create a sense of false entitlement, we actually weaken our children. The child will expect an unrealistic outcome and be illequipped to deal with life’s normal struggles. Parenting styles should coach children through what they might experience in life and still teach them hope and optimism. No Siblings A single child usually has a higher level of adult interaction and attention. They tend to speak and hold conversations with adult overtones. Only children don’t have to share and must learn that other children have as much right to a toy or game as they do. Single children have to learn to interact and negotiate in the playground dynamic.
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Rank among siblings Where children rank among their siblings affects their position in the playground dynamic. For example, an older child at home could naturally assume a leadership role in the classroom or on the playground because that’s what he or she is used to. Likewise, a child that’s the youngest at home and gets a lot of attention may display some of that behavior in a classroom or playground environment. That child may also have access to good or bad information and behavior learned from older siblings at home. Gender Families with a single gender at home are less adapt at interfacing with the opposite gender in the classroom or playground. They may tend to be fascinated, mesmerized, or repelled by the opposite gender. Girls raised with brothers are less likely to have an intimidating boyfriend than girls that grow up without brother. Family Dynamics Some children come from fireball families that belt out discussions and hold vigorous debates. Other children come from quiet families and may express themselves in a very constrained manner. There is no right or wrong dynamic but those traits will show up in the playground dynamic. Children that come from unhealthy or toxic family dynamics may act out the impact of this dynamic in the classroom or on the playground. 37
Some families solve problems by screaming and /or throwing things and at the end of the day the biggest bully wins. This obviously leads to bullying. A child coming from that environment will use the techniques he or she has learned at home in the classroom. Other children come from family environments that talk and discuss issues through a constructive exchange. They learn to listen and they get a chance to speak as well. They can communicate issues without violence and learn problem-solving techniques. Environment and Adaptability Being able to quickly adapt and complete a task, exercise, or agenda is an important skill for children. It means they won’t be thrown off or rendered unable to function because things are different than what they are used to. In crucial situations, kids need to have the ability to think, to remember what they were taught to do, and to respond without freezing in fear.
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Some children are sheltered and raised with habitual behaviors, meaning they have things the same exact way every day. For example, breakfast is a certain way. Clothes are laid out one way. These children can refuse to participate in anything that deviates from the pattern they’re used to. They won’t eat or try new foods. They become finicky about everything that takes them out of their comfort zones. When these children grow up, unless they make a conscious effort to broaden their exposure, they will become very strict and narrow about trying or doing new things. This can expand into the social arena as well. Parents should understand that kids need to learn to adjust and adapt as the situation dictates. It makes the parents’ lives very difficult if they start something they have to continue to maintain through adulthood. The playground or classroom will mature past this child. They will be timid, stubborn, or afraid to move into new experiences. This lack of exposure creates a risk for children once they leave their comfort zones or are in public. Kids must have basic street smarts and know how to stay safe in a strange place. Something a simple as avoiding dark streets or alleys can make the difference. All kids must know and practice being safe and aware. Children that feel safe only under certain conditions are less likely to venture out and make new friends. New relationships have to adapt to them versus venturing into a neutral friend space to adapt to each other. Being able to adapt and not be thrown off is a survival trait that carries into adulthood. We’ve all seen adults that have meltdowns or mood swings because they cant’ think in uncomfortable or strange environments. It’s good to nudge kids into uncomfortable situations so they learn to adapt and successfully execute their agenda in less than ideal situations. As adults, we will almost never have “perfect conditions” in which to operate. More often, in the real world, we have to remain calm enough to think through even the worst disaster. Prior to arriving at the playground, family dynamics provide some of the greatest influences on kids. Try to objectively look at your own families and imagine your behavior on the playground. If it’s good, your kids are in good shape. If it’s toxic, change it. Otherwise, what you’re doing is putting bad behavior in a shake and feeding it to your kids. 39
Kid to Kid Social Skills And Activities
A large percentage of what kids learn during social development comes from other kids. Kids watch other kids deal with a variety of peer and family events and issues. Basically, everything that happens in a family happens in part to the kids as well. They share information in kid language and in kid terms. Since we can’t stop or block the world form coming in, we have to be prepared to process what is coming in before it comes in. This should be as a basic part of social skills and development in the classroom. We discuss techniques for building strong social skills in chapter 5. We introduce these issues in this chapter to help you capture the impact of kid-tokid social skills and understand that kids social environments have the same complexity that adult environments do without the controls and maturity that adults supposedly use to address them.
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Kids talk among themselves about any current information that might seem interesting to talk about. Yes, that includes all of your personal family information. Here are examples of the information your child could be sharing:
Good information Bad information The manner that information is exchanged (they may actually act out what happened in a mini skit)
Family issues Any major life changes Things older brothers or sisters do Things that older brothers and sisters talk about Things they witness Things they hear Overheard phone conversations Learned prejudices And this is just the short list. If you ever have an opportunity to sit or listen to kids in a classroom when the teacher is not there, you will realized that kids are “little people.” You are a big person, one of the other people the scenic backdrop to their universe. For kids, especially girls, conversation is a big group fire and in order to keep the fire going somebody has to feed it new information. The juicier the information, the bigger the flames get and the more intense the attention is that can be gained from peers. Quick Story: I was in elementary school playing in the sand box with the little red bucket and the sand scooper. For some reason, the structure we were building started to crumble. I threw down my scooper and said god damn it! All the other kids were astonished and a gasp went out, which meant I had to find another opportunity to say it again because the attention was invigorating. I had big-person status in the sandbox. What I didn’t know was 41
that the teacher heard me and told my mother. When my mom picked me up, the teacher told my mom what happened in front of me. My mom asked me what I said. I was scared to death. I hesitated and then told her what I said. She was shocked and had the look of “I don’t know where she got that from” and she asked me in front of the teacher, “Where did you get that from?” Knowing full well that my mom didn’t have a cursing little girl on her list of things I was to become, I knew this was serious. I had to reflect under pressure. Why I was using this new word? I had heard my dad say it when he watched football, smashed his finger, or couldn’t get something to work. This new word was the word to use when something happened that made you suddenly angry. After a long awkward silence, I told my mother, “Daddy uses it all the time.” And bam! Everything went silent. Neither my mom or the teacher said another word to me. When we left the school my mom looked loaded with choice words for a specific person, and we both new who that was. Basically anything that passes through their sphere of experience could become part of the classroom’s chartered history. When playing on the playground, it’s an automatic release. Kids only hear other kids. The adults are temporarily blocked out. Like the Charlie Brown cartoon, the adult voices are just a “wah-wah” in the background. Kids discuss their lives in kid language, but they need for the same skill sets we adults use—only kid friendly. Sharing Sharing is a key element in leadership and demonstrating responsibility for kids. Older siblings or kids with siblings learn to share within the family dynamic. Some kids naturally share whatever they have with their siblings or friends. Single children are likely to have no concept of sharing because they never had to. Kids teach each other to share by asking others to share and demonstrating the act of sharing with each other.
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Ranking within the group In other words, they sort themselves out. Kids spend hours together talking, playing, and sharing information. An organic dynamic happens within their social circles. They began to figure out who’s who by personality and by skill sets. For example, if they are running a race, they know which kids are the fastest runners. If they are competing in math, they know who’s good in math and if they’re undertaking something risky, they know who the risk takers are. Situational Dynamics and Social Navigational Skills Once kids learn “who’s who,” they have learned to navigate their social circles. This is a skill set that carries on in future team-building and successful management skills. By understanding situational dynamics and people, they can begin to read their environment better. This goes a long way in not becoming a victim. They can build great opportunities for success by understanding people and personalities as early on as possible.
Develop the Skill of Storytelling
Kids should develop the skill of storytelling.
Visit www.theplaygrounddynamic.com for the “Develop the Skill of Storytelling” video. Share it on facebook, twitter and youtube.
Introduction When kids learn to stand in front of a group of people and confidently hold their attention, they are well on their way to becoming an effective communicator. No matter how digital our communication gets, nothing replaces a live story teller-telling a great story. Here is a great 3 step exercise for developing the skill of story telling. As the teacher or leader of a group, start by telling a story. Once you’ve captured their interest in the cookie batter (story), you can stir in math, science, history, or biology. They are committed to the storyline and captivated. A big tool for success in the future is to be able to tell a great story and have a bunch of stories in your pocket. 43
As the teacher or leader of a group, start by telling a story. Once you’ve captured their interest in the cookie batter (story), you can stir in math, science, history, or biology. They are committed to the storyline and captivated. A big tool for success in the future is to be able to tell a great story and have a bunch of stories in your pocket. Step 1: Give kids advanced notice to prepare a short-story topic. But they won’t know when they will tell their story. The point is to always have one ready. Step 2 : Half the fun of this exercise is finding the story. The story can be from their family history or their grandparents. It can be something they saw in television, heard, or read. They have to make it their own and use their own personalities to communicate the information. Step 3: Have each kid tell a story from memory to the rest of the group or class without visual aids or books. The storytelling session can last anywhere from three to five minutes. There is no right or wrong process. You want the kids to get into the habit of communicating content and points, not just short spurts of information. They should communicate the life of the story, the journey. The benefits of spontaneous story telling are, that it helps kids: Speak candidly from the heart Bring life into the details of the story They learn the impact and power of the spoken word They learn to use their voice They learn to feed off of the audience
Learn and Teach a Topic
Visit www.theplaygrounddynamic.com for the “Learn and Teach a Topic” video. Share it on facebook, twitter and youtube.
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Step 1: Give kids the assignment to learn and teach a topic. Select topics that are obscure so no one else in the class will have prior knowledge of the topic. The kids can pick their own topics or help them pick a topic. The goal is to transfer information. To develop the skill of breaking down complicated information into small enough pieces that an eight-yearold can understand it. Step 2: Prepare them teaching their class. Give each kid the opportunity to research his or her topic in class. They can also do independent homework. Remember, they are the only ones that will know this much about the following topics:
The basics of skateboarding How to catch snails The Basics of football A type of insect A new star An artist A math concept A science concept They can teach these topics. Each kid should understand the topic at a competent level. They may even become a quick expert on the topic. Sources of information Kahn University is a great source of topics. Step 3: Discuss the different ways people learn and think. Before they create their lesson plans, you need to tell them about the different ways people think. Here is a short overview of the types of methods people use to learn, present, and teach information.
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Method #1 Top Down
Facts are best presented in a context. Whenever possible, kids should learn to put facts in story form. The more dramatic or absurd the story, the easier it is to remember. Method #1 starts with a single person, fact, or event and builds from there.
Method #2 Bottom Up
Method #2 begins with broad strokes of information usually reserved for setting the situation or scene. Little by little, it focuses on key facts, people, or interesting storylines. This is often the case with mysteries or storylines that require deductive reasoning. Mysteries, like puzzles, hold compelling interest for the listener. 46
Method #3 The Flower Petal You start out with an overview and pull out specific, important facts. This is ideal when you’re working with a broad topic and just want to bring out specific facts. The central overview should tie all of the facts back into a major concept or storyline. Picture walking down a central street in a downtown area and describe specific stores on the street—not every store but the important ones. This is even more effective if you have visuals to go along with your story.
Method #4 Historical Time Line This is the most traditional method of teaching. However, if you have to remember dates, you need something to tie it into. If the facts are already in story form, the dates need to have something to make the number relevant.
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Step 4: Present a lesson plan to the teacher for review. Before each student teaches his or her subject, he or she should present a lesson plan for review. It should be written in their own words and should include the following:
Subject overview Four or five important facts and details they want to discuss Sample quiz of five to seven questions they will pass out in the class and the answer
sheet (remind them that everything on the quiz must be mentioned in the presentation) Goal: This prepares each kid to give a presentation. They will start to appreciate what actually goes into preparing a lesson. Preparation will help them overcome the fear of speaking in class. Step 5: Teach a topic. Once or twice a week, depending on the number of children in the group or class, a kid will teach a subject. Topics can be interesting, interactive, and nontraditional. The goal is to captivate and hold the class’s attention. Goal: Kids will see how important it is to listen in class because their classmates will treat them the same way they treat the teacher. They will also see the importance of visual aids and physical demonstrations when the teacher discusses something. Step 6: Give the class a quiz. Immediately after teaching the class, each kid passes out a quiz. The quiz should be eight to ten questions. Step 7: Grade the quizzes for the class. Each kid gets an opportunity to take home their students quizzes and grade their papers. Encourage the “teaching kid” to make comments like “Great job!” or a smiley face. Benefit: After reading and grading the quizzes, kids get to see the learning process from the perspective of the teacher. They should have a greater appreciation for the work that goes into preparing a class. They will also see how important it is for students to listen while the teacher is talking. 48
At its core, teaching is a form of communication and an exchange of information. The reason it’s an exchange rather than a transfer of information is because true learning should allow for clarification in the form of questions until the recipient has received (and understood) the information being conveyed.
Create a Story
Visit www.theplaygrounddynamic.com for the “Create a Story” video. Share it on facebook, twitter and youtube.
Introduction Each kid has a chance to stand in front of the class and create a story out of thin air with the following tools:
A place An object A name
Beginners: The first time anyone does this, they use flash cards to write down a place, an object and a name. Give them some time to think up a story and use notes when they present and talk for the five to ten minutes. Advanced: Experienced storytellers just get a place, an object, a name, and go for it. There is no time limit and they finish their stories. Step 1: Randomly select the story components. There are a few methods for randomly selecting the components to the story, including the following: A. Have kids pull cards from three, bowls: a bowl for places, a bowl for objects, and a bowl for names B. Have the class randomly call out the components (this is usually better for the advanced classes) Step 2: Create the story. Once the components are selected, it should look something like this: 49
A Bird A Park A Ball
A Amusement Park An Old Man A Whistle
A Amusement Park An Old Man A Whistle
A Girl A Old Doll A New House
Let’s use the first example to create our story. A Bird, a Park, and a Ball There was a bird named Sammy. Sammy hung out at the park and watched all the people come and go by his tree in the park. He had a fairly normal routine until one day he saw a red ball roll under his tree. Sammy was stricken with curiosity because he had never seen a red ball before, so, Sammy hopped down to one of the lower branches to get a good look. This new thing called a ball was so shiny and round that Sammy decided to get an even closer look. Sammy hopped all the way down to sit on top of the red ball and he thought, Hey, I’ve never been this far down on the ground before. While he was down there, Sammy looked around and met a snail named Tim, a worm named Skippy, and a ladybug named Anne. 50
Now when all of the traffic in the park slows down, Sammy goes all the way down to the bottom of the tree to visit with his new friends. And from then on, he met many more. The End Goal: To get the presenter beyond the fear of presenting. To roll with the story and allow the presenter to be taken away. It doesn’t have to completely make sense but it has to be interesting. It’s a good idea to tape these sessions because you may capture an incredible story. Benefit: It teaches a person to pull inspiration out of anywhere. It also shows them to take risks and make uncommon associations and relationships. It broadens the mind’s ability to relate different types of information, and gets kids to think outside the box. It relaxes the listeners after a very structured lesson or activity. Kids should repeat the “create a story” activity as often as possible. Everybody claps for everyone after every story. There are no right or wrong answers. Chapter Summary These exercises are designed to help kids become spontaneous engaging communicators. To not be afrad to speak in any situation and to gather their thoughts on the spot. Good storytelling is what I call a prickly concept. SpongeBob SquarePants is an example of a prickly Concept. It’s weird but likable. It’s senseless out of context but makes sense in its own context and sticks in your head. Another example of a prickly concept is Harry Potter. Not one of those characters could exist outside of the Hogwarts School. Yet within that context, you’re taken away on the journey. In this new and growing environment of social media, we have to know how to create prickly concepts with good energy-charged concepts. 51
Building a Healthy Playground Dynamic
As in any process, there are several layers within the healthy playground dynamic. We are building in three primary areas:
The physical playground environment Shared messages to each other Individual personal messages The Physical Playground Environment School is the second greatest influence on children’s lives. The environment itself is flooded with a host of messages both consciously and unconsciously. The overall playground and classroom environment should be a place of hope, optimism, and possibility. For the time that child is there, they should feel strengthened. There should be clear guidelines for structure with infinite possibilities for growth. They should know that their ultimate success is their choice no matter what they choose to do. 52
Shared Messages with Each Other Kids exchange messages among themselves. They exchange messages of acceptance, nonacceptance, isolation or inclusion, bullying or befriending. They create their own environment. Once kids understand the unique social dynamic within their classroom, they can participate in building and giving “power messages” to each other. Exercises in the later part of this chapter will help kids understand the power of diversity and appreciate their social dynamic. The next set of exercises help kids learn to plant words and positive powerful ideas with each other. Individual Personal Message Kids must learn at an early age to listen to the positive messages and believe in themselves. Most children get positive feedback from their family and friends, but some children don’t. And since you can never hear too much encouragement, it’s important for all children to get in the practice of good internal messages.
The Physical Playground Environment Exercises
The goal of a healthy physical playground is to create an environment to improve people skills, increase physical exertion, encourage physical expression, and overcome challenges. This translates into social skills, cognitive translations, and personal perseverance. Getting lost in play is the beginning of adventure and selfactualization. The natural playground environment carries can be an arena for the types of critical exercises children need to experience. Adults also need to continue to experience these exercises. 53
Free Play
Running Slides Swings Bouncing
Jungle Gym Tag
Monkey Bars Tug a War
It’s important to get airborne, laugh and energize your entire being as often as possible. It’s priceless and powerful when kids can imprint “happy” because it translates into other valuable attributes, including improved intellect. Physical activity registers in our minds and spirits as well as in our bodies. Our minds have countless paths to relational logics. Our minds make leaps in logic, concepts, and functions even while we are sleeping. Although it’s hard to explain how individual genius occurs, it’s fair to state that it is a result of the exposure the mind gets through the ears, eyes, physical actions, existing data, or historical events. The mind incorporates and translates everything that feeds into it. There are various types of logic. We think consciously and subconsciously when we are awake and asleep. Our minds are processing all of the time, at levels, directions, and intervals we have yet to attach a description to. Free play is one of the tools that refreshes and relaxes our minds. It’s the equivalent of hitting the reset button in the middle of a person’s day. This fresh start creates new paths for assimilating information and logic, increasing blood flow, and relieving stress.
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Free play also has an element of quiet in it. Sitting in the grass to watch birds, bugs, or frogs or staring into the sky are examples of free play. Flying a kite, sitting on a tree branch, or climbing to the top of hill before deciding to roll back down are all ways to feel “the big quiet.” Thinking is an all-consuming activity that occupies your mind, emotions, and time. Cognitive breakthroughs can happen in seconds or take years. The more paths for associative reasoning that are created the broader the scope of processing we can access. Two people can look at the same thing yet one person sees what they have always seen and the other perceives something different and new. It’s very much like mixing a cake. A single ingredient, in this case a variable, makes a difference. For example, Phil Knight looked at a waffle iron and saw the concept for a new tennis shoe, which became the Nike running shoe. Simon and Garfunkle were driving across a bridge, and the rhythm of the tires hitting something in the road inspired the song “Cecilia.” George Washington Carver said that the ordinary peanut spoke to him. He went on to create over 300 uses and inventions out the ordinary peanut. The simple falling of an apple made Isaac Newton think differently about the concept of gravity.
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Objects, Textures and Materials Sand Water Blocks
Rhythm Mud Metal
Paint Fabrics Wood
Clay Snow Sounds
Marble Ink and Paper Musical Instruments
The benefit of building with physical materials is you can shape or create with them. Every architect, artist, designer, musician, or visionary used materials or physical matter at some point or another as a visual aid in their creation process. Materials provide an external illustration of the internal process of creation. Once materials and their expected responses are imprinted in our minds—meaning, we know the material so well that we know what it will look like and how it will respond in our heads—we can create with the material without actually touching it. Examples include the following. Frank Lloyd Wright and Fallingwater Source: Ingrid Steffansen,Journal of American Culture, Sept 2009 The story of Fallingwater's inception serves as a perfect example of an architect and his mastery of materials. In the fall of 1935 in Taliesin, Wisconsin, Mr. Wright boomed into the hand-cranked telephone, "Come along, E.J. We're ready for you." The call was from Pittsburgh. E.J. was Edgar J. Kaufmann, Sr., a department store president.
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Mr. Wright was to show him the first sketches for his new house, Fallingwater. “I looked across my drafting table at the apprentice, Bob Mosher, whose back had stiffened at the words. Ready? There wasn't one line drawn. Kaufmann, an important client, was coming to see plans for his house, and Mr. Wright was still carrying the design confidently around in his head. Mr. Wright hung up the phone and briskly emerged from his office, some twelve steps from the drafting room, sat down at the table set with the plot plan, and started to draw. First he drew the first floor plan and then the second floor. Then he drew each section and elevation. He drew side sketches of details, talking sotto voce all the while. The design just poured out of him. It was poetry in the form of line, color, textures, and materials, all for a greater glory: a reality to live in!” Other apprentice said he worked so quickly that they couldn’t keep the pencils sharpened fast enough. To see Mr. Wright download the creation of Fallingwater was a marvel. J. K. Rowling While struggling to support her family on welfare, J. K. Rowling worked on a book, the idea for which had reportedly occurred to her while she was traveling on a train from Manchester to London in 1990. She stated that the character just popped into her head and the details began to unfold from there. After a number of rejections, she finally sold the book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (the word "Philosopher" was changed to "Sorcerer" for its publication in America), for the equivalent of about $4,000. Inspiration begets inspiration, whether it is in the form of a song, a story, a house, or a painting. Once you start creating, you get more inspiration to create. One creation begets a second edition or a series and takes on a life of its own.
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Exercise, Challenge and Competitive Sports
Physical challenges
Competitive Sports
Developing Expertise
Games
If a person performs a task repeatedly over an extended period of time, that activity will evolve. If that activity is corrected or improved through coaching, the person performing that activity could become an expert or professional. As humans, we become professionals in or experts at a lot of areas. When a person or a physical being becomes familiar or automated in an activity, that activity evolves into something greater. The person doing the activity begins to think differently within the activity. For example, once a person knitting learns a single stitch, he or she begins to perfect and automate the stitch. They then start to focus on the fabric or the object they are creating. Professional basketball players have developed a highly evolved awareness of the weight of the ball, how the ball should respond, the traction on the court, the location of the basket, the relative proximity of the players, the gamesmanship at the beginning of the game verses at the end game, the coach, the feel of the fans, and the energy in the room. A fisherman knows his bait, the fish, the season, how the weather will impact the water, and the wind. He knows these varibales instinctively. He also knows the silence of waiting. An archer considers the target, the distance, the moisture in the air, the wind, the weight of his arrow, the temple of his own breathing, the movement of the target, and his own instincts. 58
The gift of expertise is something that must be gained through time and practiced. The gift of understanding mastery is transferable. Developing a talent enough to compete with the best in a field is one thing, but there is something that lies beyond competition: that’s running your own race even if it takes you beyond anything previously accomplished. One of the best examples of a creature running its own race was demonstrated by a champion horse named Secretariat. This horse, without words, demonstrated self-actualization. The horse didn’t win by himself. Its breeding, the trainer, the groomer, the owner, the jockey, and a host of other elements got him to the Belmont Stakes, but his heart allowed him to make history. Quick Story It was June 9, 1973 at the Belmont Stakes. As the race began, two horses pulled ahead Secretariat and another horse named Sham. Both horses were running at top speed, neck to neck. Those people watching the race became concerned about the health of the horses because of the speed at which they were running and the distance they had to go. At the time, these two front-runners should have shown signs of slowing down from exhaustion, but something strange happened. Secretariat began to pull away. He ran faster and faster and faster. The jockey, Ron Turcotte, said that at some point curiosity got the best of him and he had to look over his shoulder to see where the rest of the horses were . He said that as he and Secretariat passed the finish line, he looked into the stands and saw that people had tears in their eyes. It was as if they all knew that they were watching a divine act. Since that day, no other horse has ever matched his record. Secretariat ran his own race and demonstrated art in motion.
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Actions Expressions And Emotions
Laughing Screaming Exhaustion
Yelling Singing Role playing
Sweating Fully engaged Day dreaming
Focus Talking Getting lost in play
Remember screaming for your team until your voice was horse? Or laughing to the point of getting into trouble? Or focusing on something so hard that you lost track of time? What about singing, playing, talking, or doing anything that produced an extreme reaction? There’s a saying, “If it doesn’t make you sweat, laugh, or cry, it probably wasn’t worth doing.” Once you’ve thought up an idea, worked out the kinks, and completed the first round of smoothing out the edges, you have to communicate your idea. It would have done no good for Martin Luther King, Jr. to be inspired to write his “I Have a Dream” speech and then be too afraid to say it. How many people with disabilities would still be struggling for basic rights if Congressman Bernie Sisks, after authoring the American with Disabilities Acts, was too afraid to fight for it. A dream is never communicated without the right amount of conviction and passion. What if after Cyndi Lauper wrote “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” she was too afraid to sing it with the full glory of her conviction?
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Kids must understand that part of birthing a dream means being willing to strap their visions onto their own backs, climb the mountain, and stake their claims on the fertile ground of success. They will be both parent and caretaker of any vision, product, or idea. Fear can never stand in the way of purpose. Passion and salesmanship are key elements in communicating an idea. A successful exchange stimulates the listener’s heart, mind, or both. The earlier kids learn to arm themselves with clear, concise information and make a genuine passionate exchange of ideas to any group or audience the better. The more practice kids have in communication, debate, or entertaining, the better their platform for success.
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Shared Messages to Each Other Exercises Exercise #1 Start with Definitions
Give each child a word. Have them look up the definition and talk about it. Each of these words personally and socially represents and creates something be it a feeling, an impression or a sentiment. Rather than just tell them what it creates, let them discuss what types of feelings the word creates. Once each child talks about his or her word, open up the group of further discussion. Below is the first set of words (one word per child):
Love
Hate
Joy Peace Patience Kindness Goodness Faithfulness Gentleness Self-control Hope
Anger Anxiety Short Temper Meanness Hurtful Cheating Roughness Out of control Discouragement 62
Weight and Meaning On the other hand, completely communicated thoughts and sentences, direct personal statements and deliberately weighted words would look like this.
If words were blocks, social media would look like this. Texting or rapid random output with the potential for broad reaching and immediate reactions.
Choose your mediums wisely. Some things are meant to be said fast and some things are mean to be said slow. Sometimes you can be a friend and text quickly and sometimes you have to go directly to the person, look directly in their eyes, and speak very slowly. Words are the currency of your thoughts whether you’re texting abbreviated meaning in short rapid order or using deliberately weighted words directly communicated. The important point to remember is there should be meaning in your words. There should always be much thought about what’s communicated through you to another person whether eye-toeye or texting. In reality, deep thoughts don’t come in rapid succession. They are usually the product of time and observation and reflect the full depth of the matter being considered. Picture your grandparent telling you something. They tend to use fewer words with greater meaning. It’s called wisdom. 63
Exercise #2 What color are these words Instructions: Randomly pick one word at time and ask the kids to write down what color that word makes them think of and then ask they why. There is no right or wrong answer but what you should see is a pattern. Brighter colors go for the enlightening words and gloomier darker colors go with the words with negative connotations. What, they are telling you is they understand the “feel� the word transferred. Question: If you could imagine this word in a color what color would this word be?
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Love
Hate
Joy
Anger
Peace Patience
Anxiety Short Temper
Kindness Goodness Faithfulness Gentleness Self-control
Meanness Hurtful Cheating Roughness Out of control
Hope
Discouragement
Exercise #3 What Impact Would these Words Have on Another Person? Determine if these words when spoken, enacted, or demonstrated build up or tear down the people they are spoken to or the environment they are spoken in. Dark (Shrink) Words Grow Words Grow words free Dark words bind the person or child hearing them.
Dark words beat down by pounding the person into the ground with discouragement, criticism and rejection.
Dark words bury them or ignore them it’s all the same. They become
kids out of their shells
Grow words build them up in their own unique qualities.
Grow words stimulate kids discover their own inner voice.
invisible or irrelevant.
Congratulations you just killed some little kid’s spirit- the rest is easy. You just gave them instruction to shrink, disappear and act out. 65
Exercise #4 The Power of Words
Spoken words transmit thoughts, ideas, and represent the code of verbal communication. The mind cross-references information, experiences, and relationships. We demonstrate advanced physics in our daily lives that we cannot calculate in our intellect. For example, while hammering a nail our bodies instinctively do simultaneous calculations and adjustments until we get it right. We do dozens of these calculations a day. The point is our minds cross-reference concepts and ideas that are seemingly unrelated. As humans, we basically are the sum total of our experiences. What’s even more shocking is those assessments and decisions are actually a compilation of our own version of ones and zeros ,our individual binary code . It may look something like this: 00100110. We do our own type of coding throughout our lives. Words are simply an advanced code we share among. These words carry energy and depending on the timing, opportunity, and openness to the recipient, words can create ideas and mental images that change our lives forever. This can be both positive or negative depending on the content of the message. Author David McCullough wrote, “They dreamed big in this little room.” He participated in an interview about this country’s founding fathers. In a small tattered room (even by the standards of that time), with no real army to speak of, and at the risk of death, they shared a vision of freedom. They shared words that lit the initial fire. They risked everything to accomplish their goals. In retrospect, this was an imperfect vision because it excluded people of color and women. But over time this concept has been revisited, probed, and tested word for word “to form a more perfect union.” Today, social media can manifest of ideas. Part 1 Have students take that same word and discuss the following scenario. My word is (plug in
a light word or dark word here). If everyone uses and demonstrates my word, what will happen? Let kids discuss the impact that demonstrated word could have on their classroom, families, communities, and mankind. The following represents sample discussions. 66
Planting Power Words in a Classroom or Playground When we plant words, some land on slippery surfaces, meaning we don’t pay attention to them. Some words and messages we actually pick up and consider. The subconscious messages are even more effective because we don’t consciously ward them off. We just incorporate them as “truth.”
My mind is important My heart is important My unique personality is important
I have value I can accomplish great things My life, heart, and mind are
worth lending to a good cause
People expect something from
me; therefore, I expect something from myself These messages are very simple but can burrow deeply into a child’s psyche.
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Planting Destructive Words and Failure Concepts in a Classroom Bad messages travel just as quickly as good ones do. The important thing to remember is which type of message sinks in first.
Dark messages, or shrinking words, shut down people (kids) at their core, such as the following:
I’m worthless I’m a bad person People don’t like me I’m a failure Once kids start to shut down, you see anger, fear, and depression. This can turn into a number of negative outcomes for the kid and those around them. It’s better for everyone if people stay optimistic and open.
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Planting Power Words and Ideas in a Family When families exchange “grow words and concepts,” the recipients get the messages at all levels. Even if they ignore most of what’s being said. The parts that get through benefit the entire person. The good thing about grow words is they take root wherever they are planted. If you have a shy or shut down person (kid), planting and watering grow words and concepts can begin the unfolding, blossoming, or opening up process. The great thing about grow words is they represent a mirror of possibilities. Grow words have to be the following:
Insightful True Optimistic Life giving Open Customized to the recipient
The most important voice a person can have is the voice inside his or her own head. Word planting has to be adopted by the person hearing the words, be them grow words or shrink words. If that happens, the person will start to manifest what they believe to be true. 69
Planting Destructive Words and Failure Concepts in a Family We’ve all heard the phrase “hurting people hurt.” Let’s take that one step further. Parents without vision cannot plant vision. Parents that are co-dependant or dysfunctional in any manner will incorporate elements of that dysfunction in their parenting style. Some shrink-word planting can pass through as tradition in any economic background. It is still harmful to the person receiving it. Parents tend to blame their parents for bad behavior and then leapfrog over themselves and blame their children for the same bad behavior. Dysfunction and dark shrink words don’t leap a generation. They pass through as tradition, just like cooking recipes. Parents are imperfect people and need to build a healthier space starting with themselves. A dark soul cannot create light in someone else. This is covered in chapter 5, exercise #4, “Where are my words coming from?” 70
Planting Power Words and Ideas in a Community Planting power ideas in a community is similar to teaching a song to a choir. There are multiple voices in different ranges sharing the same nearly harmonious outcome. Communities represent the compilation of their total history, current activity, and the future vision of their citizens. Everything is very dynamic and hardly ever static. Portions of a community
will respond quickly to change while other aspects are written in stone. Planting power ideas can come from any group, even kids. There are great outcomes when kids participate in planting power ideas, such as suggestions for a park, a play area, or a traffic light. When kids participate, the process empowers them to understand how they might play an ongoing role in the well-being of a community. The grow ideas are great for community discussions, which can be a small group of neighbors or the city council. 71
Planting Destructive Words and Failure Concepts in a Community Reciting dark conclusions about a community reinforces the expectation of a grim future. It also communicates low expectations of a bad image or bad neighborhoods.
Who wants to invest time and hope into a community that the projects that it is doomed to failure? Attitude and self-image are everything. When you think “team” or “city” you project hope. Acknowledging areas for improvement with a plan to make that change creates hope. Following through and taking the initiative to start the change creates hope.
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Planting Power Words and Ideas in the World Sharing ideas and solutions for global issues can be as simple as new ideas for recycling or as complex as a new technology for clean water.
The point is to recognize the “we� in humanity. We see that problem solving, hope, and optimism is a shared benefit. As we broaden our perspective of a neighborhood to include a global village, we see how simple an impact on others in the same situation. Ideas, vision, and hope planted to help occupants of our global village will brighten our collective perspective. Anyone can start planting power ideas, including kids. We are likely to think of inclusive solutions when we see the ideas and solutions can have connectivity of mankind. 73
Planting Destructive Words and Failure Concepts in the World If we plant dark ideas, we contribute to the creation of ill will, hopelessness, anger, and fear. The world becomes less safe and solutions that require global efforts become more difficult to accomplish. In a world of social media and instant information,
the intent undergirding communication must be positive, constructive, and a message of hope. Remember, just because someone articulates differently than you doesn’t mean they do not perceive the genuine intent in your message. You must be your message. 74
Part 2 Hardwired Words and concepts get hardwired over the long term. Exercise Introduction Words Matter The following are President Obama’s comments on the impact of the campaign cheer, “Fired Up, Ready to Go.” Excerpt #1 But I’m running for president, so I do what I’m supposed to do — and I’m shaking hands, I say, “How do you do? Nice to meet you.” And I’m making my way around the room, and suddenly I hear this voice cry out behind me: “Fired up.” AUDIENCE: Ready to go! THE PRESIDENT: And I’m startled, and I don’t know what’s going on. But everybody in the room — this is a small room — they act like this is normal. (Laughter) And when the voice says, “Fired up,” they all say, “Ready to go.” And so once again, I hear the voice: “Fired up.” They say, “Fired up.” They say, “Ready to go!” “Ready to go!” I look around. I turned behind me — there’s this small woman. She’s about 60 years old, looks like she just came from church — she got a big church hat. (Laughter) And she’s looking at me, kind of peering at me, and she’s grinning, smiling, looking happy. Turns out she’s a city councilwoman from Greenwood who also moonlights as a private detective. I’m not making this up. (Laughter) This is true. And it turns out she’s famous throughout the area. When she goes to football games and when she goes to rallies and she goes to community events, she does this chant of hers. She does it wherever she goes. So for the next few minutes, she just keeps on saying, “Fired up.” AUDIENCE: Ready to go!
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Excerpt #2 And that shows you what one voice can do. One voice can change a room. And if it can change a room, it can change a city. And if it can change a city, it can change a state. And if it can change a state, it can change a nation. (Applause) And if it can change a nation, it can change the world. (Applause) When Ideas and concepts float along for a period of time, they can take root and become hardwired into a person, culture, or group’s way of thinking. Once that happens it becomes a new normal. The new normal can be good or bad and they always signify some type of change. We always want to move towards greater awareness, growth, or problem solving verses self destruction and darkness. Exercise Using that same words presented in part 1 of this exercise, ask the class the second set of questions. Question #1 If a few people internalize the word _____(insert word here) ___ , what could be the long-term effect? Question #2 If a lot of people internalize the word _____(insert the word here)___, what could be the long-term effect? You may only get through a few words in this exercise. It’s more important for the class to project and extrapolate the long-term effect words can have on different groups of people. You may also invite them to work together in groups to gain a broader perspective as different kids provide feedback to each other.
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The History Lesson in the Power of Words
Significant events in history demonstrate either man’s inhumanity to man or man’s humanity to man, such as the Holocaust, slavery, the Emancipation Proclamation, the Declaration of Independence, or women earning the right to vote. Review a historical event and then ask the students the following question. Question #3 What kind of words could insert a key historical figure here have used to create the concepts behind their actions. What kinds of words did Thomas Jefferson use to engineer the Declaration of Independence?
What kinds of words did Abraham Lincoln use to persuade the passing of the Emancipation Proclamation?
What kind of words did Adolf Hitler use to persuade and engineer the grim era of the Holocaust?
What kind of words did women use to persuade the passing of a woman’s right to vote?
What kind of words did Martin Luther King use to inspire the civil rights movement?
What kind of words did Gandhi use to inspire non-violent resistance? The goal of part 2 of this exercise is to understand the following:
Concept #1 Hardwiring Grow Words and Ideas in a Classroom Planting the grow words and de-weeding the bad stuff can yield powerful results. The process of de-weeding can be replacing one behavior with another, such as replacing bad manners with etiquette, profanity with a better choice of words, or arguing with problem solving techniques.
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This process isn’t reserved for the well-funded schools or the privileged students. This process of internalizing a personal resolve for character and success is achievable anywhere and anytime by poor kids or rich kids in classrooms with walls and chairs or on a grass mat. Start the path of planting vision and de-weeding discouragement. Concept #2 Hardwiring Grow Words and Ideas in a Community Once the community has established (hardwired) grow words, they find ways to continually improve education, profitability, well-being, and safety. With hardwired grow concepts, the community finds creative ways to set community goals and coordinate nontraditional alliances to get the vision done. Concept #3 Hardwiring Grow Words and Ideas in a Global Village In the global village, people will start to problem-solve for the broader sake of humanity. Grow words, shared ideas, and grow concepts will travel at the speed of social media.
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Exercise #5
Where are my Words Coming from?
Words come from the reserves of who you are or your immediate evolution at the time. That’s why it’s important to take a look back at your sources. We all receive and incorporate information consciously and subconsciously. To the degree that we accept those messages as true is the degree or measure they affect on our lives. Trend words These are words that are currently being used in songs, slang, and trends. Give examples of popular trend words and their definitions. During this exercise have kids take turns and offer trend words. If they are profane, then have them leave off letters and not actually say the word.
Define what the word means. Define whether it’s a grow word or a shrink word. Define what effect they think that word might have
on an individual, a group of people, and a group of people over a long period of time. 79
Traditional Words Used in Families Sometimes families are the biggest source of dark shrink words. Family members, especially at gatherings, select a few sacrificial lambs to be the butt of the family jokes. It could be the awkward ones, the larger ones, the women, the ones wearing braces or the ones with new boyfriends or girlfriends. Even though everyone is laughing, maybe even the one being the focus of the jokes, this doesn’t mean feelings are not being hurt. It’s a good practice to stop participating and stop allowing that to go on. Environmental Concepts and Words If a person spends a lot of time in environments that are abrasive and aggressive, they could develop a thicker outer demeanor. That need to toughen up or become “hard” can also indicate an unhealthy environment in the long term. If you’re focused on survival, you are not getting to those higher levels of thinking. This is also one of the breeding grounds for bullies. Unknown Sources Humans can respond to messages and concepts they pick up subconsciously. This could be from things said or done too early in their lives to remember. These messages are the most difficult to change because the person doesn’t know the source. If they are concerned about a particular word association and can’t tell where it started, that may require professional help if the problem is stunting social growth in other areas.
Use Your Own Real Words
Encourage each child to start developing his or her own vocabulary. Ask them to find three words that they really like and seem to fit their personality. Have them randomly discuss these words and why they like them. Sometimes people like words because of the rhythm the word carries with it, such as perpendicular. That word has its own rhythm. Some people like words that have big meanings. Some people like words because of a memory or a relationship it creates like chocolate, lavender, Porsche, pizza, ice cream, Ferrari, or football. Some people like words because of the way that word makes them feel, 80
such as smart, attractive, funny, talented, cute, interesting, helpful, or brave. Whenever you communicate, you’re planting and creating an exchange of the message and the energy and intent behind the message. Just as you have to be an apple to create and plant apple seeds, you have to be the message you want to communicate. The important point to remember here is that your choice of words and how you use them do more to define who you are than anything else. It’s worth your time to think about what you’re going to say before you speak and to be accurate in your conversation but not if you’re using big, complicated words or simple words. The key is whether you are using the words that most describe your thoughts and intent. Are you using YOUR words? Here’s an interesting point: Apple seeds don’t look anything like apples at first. From the outside, you see an apple. You don’t see any seeds when in fact it’s loaded with seeds. If this apple were good grow words or concepts, how much fruit could that one apple create? Just know your words always matter. Any person (kid) can be the catalyst for good and great things in their world. In time, one apple can create an entire orchard of apple trees. In other words, a kid can change the world.
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Exercise #6 Planting Power Words and Phrases
Now that the kids know the power of words and the impact of using them, they can start the powerful and constructive practice of word planting. Word planting is using power words and positive ideas to build up and encourage the person you’re planting into. By using power words, kids can actually contribute to a fellow classmate’s day and even encourage a teacher. The best way to build confidence is to find ways to help others build theirs. Word planting is key in building relationships and personal power. Personal power isn’t just using power concepts in good conditions; it’s being able to use power concepts in the face of adversity. Step #1 Start by picking the planters Choose a third of the class or group and anonymously assign them as planters. The planting exercise should go on for about a week. A week gives kids enough time to plant positive words and watch them grow. Kids usually lose interest if the exercise goes on too long. The planters are to work anonymously. Step #2 Assign to them two or three students in the classroom. Assign to each planter two or three classmates or people. For each student, the planter is to think of appropriate power words and customized ideas just for that student. In order to do that, the planter must know something about the student, such as what they are good at, what their goals are, or what they like to do. 82
Step #3 How to Use Power Words and Phrases Power words and phrases are truthful attributes and words of encouragement. They can’t be randomly used. They must be specific to the individual receiving them. For example, “Hello” or “Good Morning” could be a random phrase. But when you add the person’s name and look directly at them, then it’s a personal greeting and acknowledgement. Likewise, when we use power words and phrases that are truthful and specific, the planter has successfully planted a power word. Sample power words and phrases
Great job That was fantastic Your really are good at ____________. A good morning A positive comment
Hello A shared lunch bench Ask them about their interest Conversation ending on a positive
note
Once Kid’s recognize their unique personalities, they can make genuine positive comments on the real qualities of their classmates. Step #4 Meet with the planters and get an evaluation of what they observed.
Ask them the words or phrases they used. Ask them what they observed after planting power words. Did they make a friend? Did they learn something about their classmate they didn’t know before? Did the person seem to open up more? Ask them how they felt when they planted power words.
Step #5 Repeat the process with the other students until the entire class or group has participated and present the results to the class. After all of the students have participated, do a summary presentation. Because the word planting was done anonymously, the teacher should do the summary presentation using select quotes from different student experiences. 83
Exercise #7 Name in Lights
Quick Story Back in 1961 or 1962, my grandfather, my grandmother, my mom, and I were leaving the theatre after watching West Side Story. While carrying me outside, my grandfather broke into a song and sang, “Althea, I just met a girl named Althea.” At the time, I was only a toddler, I remember thinking that they were singing about me in the movie! It doesn’t take much to give a kid hope and create a unique feeling of appreciation and value. This is forty years later and I still remember it. Introduction Kid mini-commercials boost self-esteem. They are fun and give each kid the opportunity to have their name in lights. Have you ever looked into a child’s face when the family is singing happy birthday? They are staring at the cake, but when they look up over the table, it’s that one special day that everyone likes them and is paying attention to them. They are appreciating and basking in the “love.” For a single day, they matter. That’s what the mini-commercials do for each kid. This isn’t to place one kid’s life or opportunity above another. This is to make each kid special for a few very important minutes.
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Step 1 Create Production Teams Divide the classroom into teams of four-to-five kids for each team. Because they are forming production companies, let them come up with a name for their company and any marketing material they would like including T-shirts. Make sure the teams are evenly divided into personality types between clowns, risk takers, nerds, jocks, leaders, shy ones, social butterflies, and old souls. The various personality types will bring a broader flavor to the end results. Each team should assign production roles to the team members. As the teams progress through the production cycles, they will have an opportunity to double-up on responsibilities and interchange roles, if they choose to do so. For example, each member should help in the filming and editing at least once in order to understand how things translate from concept to film.
Role Director
Responsibility A film director is responsible for overseeing the entire project. Their responsibilities include the following:
Following the story board Interpreting the feel of the scene to reflect the person being featured
Instructing the camera people on what to shoot Determining the camera angles Instructing the actors on where to stand during the scenes
Saying, “Roll ‘em” when they want to start filming Saying “cut” when they want to stop filming Helping decide the music for the project 85
Writer
A script writer is the person that writes the script. They create the story line for the entire project. Their responsibilities include the following:
Interview the featured kid in order to know what’s important to write about
Create a unique approach to each commercial making it as different and interesting as each of the kids
Write a script that best reflects the personality of the featured kid.
Understand that this is an audible/ visual script, meaning it will be read aloud
Write in a natural tone that feels comfortable and fun for kids that age
Bring in unique ideas and language to keep the Set Designer
story interesting
A set designer creates the overall visual space or backdrop for the commercial. In this case, it will be a lot of the school campus as it’s seen through the eyes of that featured kid. The set designers responsibilities include the following:
Working with the script writer to understand the story board Selecting the most appropriate places to shoot the commercial for that kid Creating props and extras when necessary Taking pictures of the locations and present them to the group. Working with the team to make adjustments as needed. 86
Camera Crew Members
A camera crew member is part of the actual recording team. The camera crew members responsibilities include the following:
Film Editor
Basic understanding of how to operate the camera equipment Planning and setting up shots Work with Director, set designer, and writer to understand what type of shot to take Effectively capture the interviews or discussions Review shots before they “wrap” that scene Do back up shots (film at least 2 takes for every scene) The camera shots should capture the authentic feel of the kid being featured. Label each shot with date, location, shot number, take number and a brief description of the shot so the editor can find the film. Email or present all footage to the director and keep a copy until the entire commercial is completed.
A film editor is a mechanic who removes the unneeded film and fits pieces of film together to make a finished commercial, movie, or program. A film editor’s responsibilities include the following: Read the script and meet with the director to understand the vision for the commercial Make visits to the locations during filming to gain a sense of how the shooting is progressing Go through the footage once shooting is done and select scenes based on their quality and content Collaborate with cameramen and directors to ensure the best shots were selected and the background music is added Make revisions as requested by the director to prepare the final cut. 87
Step 2 Select the Order of Kids Being Interviewed
Select the order in which the kids will be featured within each group. There should be one kid from each group until each of the kids are featured on each team. The following diagram represents a sample production schedule.
Sample Production Schedule
List the name of each kid to be featured during a production cycle, one kid-per cycle. Cycle Cycle Cycle Cycle
#1 Production Start Date ________End Date_________ #2 Production Start Date ________End Date_________ #3 Production Start Date ________End Date_________ #4 Production Start Date ________End Date_________
Production Team A ( e.g. The Bad Jam Production )
Production Team B ( Plug in the team name )
Team member Team member Team member Team member
Team member Team member Team member Team member
#1 (Production cycle #1) #2 (Production cycle #2) #3 (Production cycle #3) #4 (Production cycle #4)
#1 (Production cycle #1) #2 (Production cycle #2) #3 (Production cycle #3) #4 (Production cycle #4)
Production Team C ( Plug in the team name )
Production Team D ( Plug in the team name )
Team member Team member Team member Team member
Team member Team member Team member Team member
#1 (Production cycle #1) #2 (Production cycle #2) #3 (Production cycle #3) #4 (Production cycle #4)
Note: Team members assigned to a production cycle should be in production during their assigned cycles.
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#1 (Production cycle #1) #2 (Production cycle #2) #3 (Production cycle #3) #4 (Production cycle #4)
Steps 3 through 8 outline the production process. Step 3 Pre-Production Meeting
During this step, the team gets together to complete the following: 1. Discuss the kid that’s scheduled to be featured and the best way to present them. 2. Come up with a concept or theme for the commercial. Each production should be unique and reflect the personality of the featured kid and the creativity of the group. 3. The group then creates a story board for the commercial. A storyboard is simply a series of drawings depicting key scenes in the proposed production. The coordinator or teacher approves the storyboard before getting started. 4. Based on the storyboard and creativity of the team, the set designer looks for places in the school yard to film. Backgrounds can be created as well. Sample Storyboards (Storyboards can be made with poster paper or pictures)
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Step 4 Pre-Taping Interview
During this step, the writers interview the featured kids. They get to know them and find out what’s interesting about them and what great things the world (classroom) needs to know about them, such as: 1. What are your favorite things to do? 2. What do you want to be when you grow up? 3. What the funniest thing that ever happened to you?
Step 5 The Taping
The taping is based on the storyboard and creative input. The set designer looks for places in the school to film and backgrounds are created as well. Taping is based on ease of production, meaning they can tape the end, beginning, and middle at different intervals. The story is put together during editing. Taping can be done with any smart phone and uploaded to a PC or MAC.
Step 6 Editing A couple of team members edit the film into a five-minute commercial. Amateur editing software that can be downloaded for free from the Internet.
The suggested editing format; Segment Description
Time
Sample Content
Introduction
15 Seconds
Hello, my name is (enter kid reporter’s name) and I’m here to interview (enter featured kid’s name here). He/ she is a _ greader at out school and he’s quite an interesting person. Over the next 5 minutes we’re going to delve into that question- who is (enter featured kid’s name here). Here he is now… 90
Segment 1
1 minute
Reporter: Tell us a little about yourself, where were you born?
Segment 2
1 minute
Segment 3
1 minute
Reporter: What are your goals in life, where do you see yourself in a couple of years? (kids run on a shorter time line). Reporter: What are your hobbies? What are you passionate about?
Segment 4
1 minute
Reporter: Let’s talk to some of their friends. The reporter interviews students, friends and teachers.
Closing Comments
30 Seconds
Reporter summarizes what’s been said about the featured kid and makes close out statements for example: This is (enter Kid Reporter’s name) reporting on (enter featured kid’s name here). See you next week on (enter name of show) same time same channel.
Credits
15 Seconds
Roll credits; Featured Kid (Enter name here) Interviewed Teachers (Enter name here) Interviewed students (Enter name here) Director (Enter name here) Writers (Enter name here) Set designers (Enter name here) Camera Crew (Enter name here) Editors (Enter name here)
There’s no right wrong way to complete visual material. The goal is to make an entertaining, accurate and unique. They can add music, interviews, role playing, reality T.V. any creative content to tell each kid’s story. 91
Step 7 Post Editing
This is a where the editor, director and writer make sure all the material is correct including the credits.
Step 8 Screening Date
The class has a movie day and watches all the commercials for that cycle. After the screening, all the production groups comment on each film and congratulate each other.
The Benefit of the “Name in Lights” Exercise. Each student should have an opportunity to work in at least 2 or 3 of the production roles. The overall benefits of this type of exercise are: Project Management Teamwork Complex Planning Working with multiple components Creative Process Challenging Project completion These projects should be graded on each team’s ability to capture the unique personality of each featured kid. In other words, the kid commercials should not be cookie cutters of the same questions and the same feel. They should reflect the individuality of each kid being featured. The finished product will add self esteem to the each production team as well as the student being featured. For some kids this is just another accolade to blend in with all the others. For other children, this is the only acknowledgement and validation they may get for along time.
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Weaving The Fabric of Humanity Exercises Background
As humans, from birth till death, we are all a work in progress. As any work in progress, we should evolve and improve, especially in our understanding of one another. In the future, more than ever, small minds will take up a lot of space and be counterproductive from almost every angle.
The earlier children learn to be; Clear and objective thinkers listen in different ways Understanding broader issues from a global perspective See all of humanity as a whole
The earlier they will be able to think and tackle issues from an inclusive win-win strategy verses an I-win-you-lose approach, the better off everyone will be. We have to begin to think in a better, more balanced way. We no longer have the luxury or can afford the ignorance of teaching our children any sort of classism, harmful differentiations, or racism. Prejudgments and prejudices render limited perspectives. When we begin approaching humanity from an inclusive perspective, we start to see bridges, opportunities, and solutions. Even though advanced cultures have an opportunity to create exclusively one-sided advantages, in the long term, transactions and exchanges that benefit both sides build a more long-term, harmonious environment for everyone. I use the term one-sided opportunities because for as long as there has been an 93
account of written history advanced civilizations have taken advantage of less sophisticated cultures. When less sophisticated groups evolve, and they will evolve, if they realize a gross injustice or treatment, they will want to retaliate. If we’re going to build a better culture, we have to start thinking differently about social concepts such as slavery, human rights, hunger, and world peace. In the words of Peter Drucker, “It takes a long time to atone for such sins.” As in personal integrity, cultural integrity means you do the right thing whether someone is watching you or not. A culture or country treats another culture or country in a manner that will be viewed as a win-win for both sides in the long-run. Balanced thinking is crucial as we approach an inclusive humanity and growing global community. Our intentions and actions must be consistent and reflect our integrity. Balanced thinking, fairness, and motives will prove to be the best approach to long-term global relationships.
Concepts to Understand before Starting the Exercises Cultural Diversity: Throughout the school year, have kids research, share, and explore various cultures. With each culture, immerse the classroom in the culture’s language, food, music, history, and possibly direct communication. With translation software (ie. Google Translate), kids can communicate with kids in other countries directly. Physical Diversity: Discuss the types and ways people are physically different. These differences should not be viewed as disadvantages but as a different types of challenge. Keep in mind that everyone has challenges. Introduction The following exercises focus on character and integrity in simplified situations in which there is an opportunity to take advantage of a situation. These two concepts can be mutually exclusive or mutually incorporated. During the exercises, students have an opportunity to experience both sides of the equation. These exercises can only be done once because you’re looking for the honest answers, not the memorized right answer. 94
Exercise # 8 Pie Slicing Exercise
You will need two people to participate, two cupcakes, mini-pies, or pieces of fruit. Step 1 Place one person in charge of slicing a pie or cupcake. They will share this cupcake or pie with the other person in the exercise. They are free to cut the pie anyway they want but are informed that they will be sharing it with person #2. Step 2 Ask the other student to come in and select the piece they want. Step 3 Do the same exercise with the second cupcake or piece of fruit. This time both people are aware of step 2. If they cut the first item unequally, this time they are likely to cut it very evenly because they won’t be sure of which side they will wind up with. Learning Point The learning point in this exercise is to put oneself on both sides of the transaction and treat others the way we want to be treated.
Exercise #9 Finish Your Own Story: What Would You Do? These stories are important because we are never prepared to interact in a situation. Kids can have time to think about what they would do by thinking about a situation that could occur. You don’t leave new or awkward situations up for grabs because if they are not thought out in advance, or at least discussed, the better behavior will never have a chance to happen. It’s just like any other etiquette or good manners. You have to plan to be pleasant and be prepared to set the example. We learn to ignore things we can’t change or are afraid of. It’s important to have the courage to respond and respond smartly. Kids need to be empowered to affect their environment.
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School Lunchtime and a New Kid
It’s lunchtime at your school. There’s a new kid eating lunch alone. What do you do?
School Lunchtime and a Kid that Looks Different
It’s lunchtime at your school. There is a kid eating lunch alone. That kid may be a little differ than you and your friends. He or she is either in a wheelchair or has something different about their appearance. What do you do?
After-School Bullying
It’s after school and one of the kids at school is being verbally bullied by the big kids. You are a little kid too. What do you do?
School-Time Bullying
During the school day, you see a kid being physically or verbally bullied by other kids. What do you do?
A Homeless Person at the Store
You and your friends are shopping at the grocery store. After you pay for your food, you have a few dollars left. As you leave the store, you see a homeless veteran sitting with a sign asking for money. You give the person a portion of the change you have left from the store. Your friends later ask you why you gave that bum your money? What do you say to them?
Senior Neighbors
You live in a neighborhood, and a few doors down the block from your house lives an elderly woman. Every Tuesday is trash day. You see your elderly neighbor pulling out her trash cans. It seems to be difficult for her to pull out the trashcans because it takes her a long time to do it. What do you do? Reminder: When interfacing with other adults, remember to always check with your parents. 96
Helping at Home
Your mom or dad is working in the house and getting tired. What do you do?
Person harmed on the street
You’re riding in a car and you see an accident. Someone in the car has a cell phone. What do you do? Reminder: When interfacing with other adults, remember to always check with your parents or the person in charge.
Additional Tips:
If you see someone who may need help, you should always try to notice the following: Your location (check the street signs or names of businesses at that location) The time (check your watch or cell phone) What is going on (that requires you to stay calm, pay attention, and listen)
Learning Points
These types of discussions lead kids to smarter actions or responses. It also opens up an opportunity for kids to share smart ideas with each other. We all know it’s hard to think in the moment of a crisis or when something shocking or unexpected happens. By being educated and prepared, kids can make better decisions. There is no absolute right or wrong answer to these exercises, and each kid should feel comfortable enough to respond honestly regarding what they would do. This exercise helps kids consider, process, and improve their actions before they ever have to take them. Empowerment for the good encourages a safer environment for everyone.
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Exercise #10 Study the failures of Successful People. Failure is not a deterrent to success; failure is an intricate part of success. Step 1 Have each child pick a successful person from this list. There are several sources online with the stories of successful people who struggled. Step 2 Have them research what steps the person took to overcome that failure. Step 3 Have them present their report to the class. Source: Online college.org. Business Gurus These businessmen and the companies they founded are today known around the world, but as these stories show, their beginnings weren't always smooth. 1. Henry Ford: Although Ford is known for his innovative assembly line and Americanmade cars, he wasn't an instant success. In fact, his early businesses failed and left him broke five times before he founded the successful Ford Motor Company. 2. R. H. Macy: Most people are familiar with this large department store chain, but Macy didn't always have it easy. Macy started seven failed businesses before finally hitting big with his store in New York City. 3. F. W. Woolworth: Some may not know this name today, but Woolworth was once one of the biggest names in department stores in the U.S. Before starting his own business, young Woolworth worked at a dry goods store and was not allowed to wait on customers because his boss said he lacked the sense needed to do so. 98
4. Soichiro Honda: The billion-dollar business that is Honda began with a series of failures and some luck. Honda was turned down by the Toyota Motor Corporation for a job as an engineer, leaving him jobless for quite some time. He started making scooters out of his own at home. Spurred on by his neighbors, he finally started his own business. 5. Akio Morita: You may not have heard of Morita, but you've undoubtedly heard of his company, Sony. Sony's first product was a rice cooker that unfortunately didn't cook rice so much as burn it. It sold less than 100 units. This first setback didn't stop Morita and his partners. They pushed forward to create a multi-billion dollar company. 6. Bill Gates: Gates didn't seem like a shoe-in for success after dropping out of Harvard and starting a failed business with Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen called Traf-OData. While this early idea didn't work, Gates’s later work did, creating the global empire that is Microsoft. 7. Harland David Sanders: Perhaps better known as Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken, Sanders had a hard time selling his chicken at first. In fact, his famous secret chicken recipe was rejected 1,009 times before a restaurant accepted it. 8. Walt Disney: Today Disney rakes in billions from merchandise, movies, and theme parks around the world, but Walt Disney himself had a bit of a rough start. He was fired by a newspaper editor because "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas." After that, Disney started a number of businesses that didn't last too long and ended in bankruptcy and failure. He kept plugging along, however, and eventually found a recipe for success that worked.
Scientists and Thinkers
These people are often regarded as some of the greatest minds of our century, but they often had to face great obstacles, the ridicule of their peers, and the animosity of society. 9. Albert Einstein: Most of us take Einstein's name as synonymous with genius, but he didn't always show such promise. Einstein did not speak until he was four and did not read until he was seven, causing his teachers and parents to think he was mentally handicapped, slow, and anti-social. 99
9. Eventually, he was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. It might have taken him a bit longer, but most people would agree that he caught on pretty well in the end won the Nobel Prize and changed the face of modern physics. 10. Charles Darwin: In his early years, Darwin gave up on a medical career and was often chastised by his father for being lazy and too dreamy. Darwin himself wrote, "I was considered by all my masters and my father, a very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard of intellect." Perhaps they judged too soon. Today, Darwin is well known for his scientific studies. 11. Robert Goddard: Goddard today is hailed for his research in and experimentation of liquid-fueled rockets, but during his lifetime his ideas were often rejected and mocked by his scientific peers who thought they were outrageous and impossible. Today rockets and space travel don't seem far fetched at all due largely to the work of this scientist. 12. Isaac Newton: Newton was undoubtedly a genius when it came to math, but he had some failings early on. He never did particularly well in school and when put in charge of running the family farm, he failed miserably, so poorly in fact that an uncle took charge and sent him off to Cambridge where he finally blossomed into the scholar we know today. 13. Socrates: Despite leaving no written records, Socrates is regarded as one of the greatest philosophers of the Classical era. Because of his new ideas, he was called "an immoral corrupter of youth" and was sentenced to death. Socrates didn't let this stop him and kept right on teaching up until he was forced to poison himself. 14. Robert Sternberg: This big name in psychology received a “C� in his first college introductory psychology class with his teacher telling him that "there was already a famous Sternberg in psychology and it was obvious there would not be another." Ouch! Sternberg showed him, however, graduating from Stanford with distinction in psychology, summa cum laude, and Phi Beta Kappa and eventually becoming the president of the American Psychological Association.
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Inventors These inventors changed the face of the modern world, but not without a few failed prototypes along the way. 15. Thomas Edison: In his early years, teachers told Edison he was "too stupid to learn anything." Work was no better. He was fired from his first two jobs for not being productive enough. Even as an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. Of course, those unsuccessful attempts finally resulted in the design that worked. 16. Orville and Wilbur Wright: These brothers battled depression and family illness before starting the bicycle shop that would lead them to experiment with flight. After numerous attempts at creating flying machines, several years of hard work, and tons of failed prototypes, the brothers finally created a plane that could get airborne and stay there. Public Figures From politicians to talk show hosts, these figures had a few failures before they came out on top. 17. Winston Churchill: This Nobel Prize-winning, twice-elected Prime Minster of the United Kingdom wasn't always as well regarded as he is today. Churchill struggled in school and failed the sixth grade. After school, he faced many years of political failures. He was defeated in every election for public office until he finally became the prime minister at the ripe old age of 62. 18. Abraham Lincoln: Although today he is remembered as one of the greatest leaders of our nation, Lincoln's life wasn't easy. In his youth, he went to war as a captain and returned a private. (If you're not familiar with military ranks, just know that private is as low as it goes.) Lincoln didn't stop failing there, however. He started numerous failed business and was defeated in numerous runs he made for public office.
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19. Oprah Winfrey: Most people know Oprah as one of the most iconic faces on TV as well as one of the richest and most successful women in the world. Oprah faced a hard road to get to that position, enduring a rough and often abusive childhood and numerous career setbacks, including being fired from her job as a television reporter because she was "unfit for TV." 20. Harry S. Truman: This vet, senator, vice president and eventual president found success in his life but not without a few missteps along the way. Truman started a store that sold silk shirts and other clothing only go bankrupt a few years later. 21. Dick Cheney: This recent vice president and businessman made his way to the White House but managed to flunk out of Yale University, not once but twice. Former President George W. Bush joked with Cheney about this fact, stating, "So now we know if you graduate from Yale, you become president. If you drop out, you get to be vice president." Hollywood Types These faces ought to be familiar from the big screen, but these actors, actresses, and directors saw their fair share of rejection and failure before they made it big. 22. Jerry Seinfeld: Just about everybody knows who Seinfeld is, but the first time the young comedian walked on stage at a comedy club, he looked out at the audience, froze, and was eventually jeered and booed off the stage. Seinfeld knew he could do it, so he went back the next night, completed his set to laughter and applause, and the rest is history. 23. Fred Astaire: In his first screen test, the testing director of MGM noted of Astaire, "Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little." Astaire went on to become an incredibly successful actor, singer, and dancer and kept that note in his Beverly Hills home to remind him of where he came from. 102
24. Sidney Poitier: After his first audition, Poitier was told by the casting director, "Why don't you stop wasting people's time and go out and become a dishwasher or something?" Poitier vowed to show him that he could make it, going on to win an Oscar and become one of the most well regarded actors in the business. 25. Jeanne Moreau: As a young actress just starting out, this French actress was told by a casting director that she was simply not pretty enough to make it in films. He couldn't have been more wrong. Moreau went on to star in nearly 100 films and win numerous awards for her performances. 26. Charlie Chaplin: It's hard to imagine film without the iconic Charlie Chaplin, but his act was initially rejected by Hollywood studio chiefs because they felt it was a little too nonsensical to ever sell. 27. Lucille Ball: During her career, Ball had thirteen Emmy nominations and four wins, also earning the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Kennedy Center. Before starring in I Love Lucy, Ball was widely regarded as a failed actress and a B-movie star. Even her drama instructors didn't feel she could make it, telling her to try another profession. She, of course, proved them all wrong. 28. Harrison Ford: In his first film, Ford was told by the movie execs that he simply didn't have what it takes to be a star. Today, with numerous hits under his belt, iconic portrayals of characters like Han Solo and Indiana Jones, and a career that stretches decades, Ford can proudly show that he does, in fact, have what it takes. 29. Marilyn Monroe: Although Monroe's star burned out early, she did have a period of great success in her life. Despite a rough upbringing and being told by modeling agents that she should consider being a secretary, Monroe became a pin-up, model, and actress who still strikes a chord with people today. 30. Oliver Stone: This Oscar-winning filmmaker began his first novel while at Yale, a project that eventually caused him to fail out of school. This would turn out to be a poor decision as the text was rejected by publishers and was not published until 1998, at which time it was not well received. After dropping out of school, Stone moved to Vietnam to teach English, later enlisting in the army and fighting in the war. He earned two Purple Hearts and found the inspiration for his later work that often centered around war. 103
Writers and Artists
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We've all heard about starving artists and struggling writers, but these stories show that sometimes all that work really does pay off in the long run. 31. Vincent Van Gogh: During his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only one painting, and this was to a friend and only for a very small amount of money. Although Van Gogh was never a success during his life, he plugged on with painting, sometimes starving to complete his over 800 known works. Today, they bring in hundreds of millions of dollars. Emily Dickinson: Recluse and poet Emily Dickinson is a commonly read and beloved writer. Yet in her lifetime she was all but ignored, having fewer than a dozen poems published out of her almost 1,800 completed works. Theodor Seuss Giesel: Today nearly every child has read The Cat in the Hat or Green Eggs and Ham, yet 27 different publishers rejected Dr. Seuss's first book To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street. Charles Schultz: Schultz's Peanuts comic strip has had enduring fame, yet this cartoonist had every cartoon he submitted to his high school yearbook rejected. Even after high school, Schultz didn't have it easy, applying and being rejected for a position working with Walt Disney. Steven Spielberg: Although today Spielberg's name is synonymous with big-budget movies, he was rejected from the University of Southern California School of Theater, Film, and Television three times. He eventually attended school at another location, only to drop out to become a director before finishing. Thirty-five years after starting his degree, Spielberg returned to school in 2002 to finally complete his work and earn his B.A. Stephen King: The first book by this author, the iconic thriller Carrie, received 30 rejections, finally causing King to give up and throw it in the trash. His wife fished it out and encouraged him to resubmit it, and the rest is history. King now has hundreds of books published and has the distinction of being one of the best-selling authors of all time.
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37. Zane Grey: An incredibly popular author in the early twentieth century, this adventurebook writer began his career as a dentist, something he quickly began to hate. He began to write, only to see rejection after rejection of his works. Eventually, he was told that he had no business being a writer and should give up. It took him years, but at 40, Zane finally got his first work published, leaving him with almost 90 books to his name and selling over 50 million copies worldwide. 38. J. K. Rowling: Rowling may be rolling in a lot of Harry Potter dough today, but before she published the series of novels she was nearly penniless, severely depressed, divorced, and trying to raise a child on her own while attending school and writing a novel. Rowling went from depending on welfare to being one of the richest women in the world in a span of only five years through her hard work and determination. 39. Monet: Today, Monet's work sells for millions of dollars and hangs in some of the most prestigious institutions in the world. Yet during his own time, it was mocked and rejected by the artistic elite, the Paris Salon. Monet kept at his impressionist style, which caught on and in many ways was a starting point for some major changes to art that ushered in the modern era. 40. Jack London: This well-known American author wasn't always a success. Although he would go on to publish popular novels like White Fang and The Call of the Wild, his first story received six hundred rejection slips before finally being accepted. 41. Louisa May Alcott: Most people are familiar with Alcott's most famous work, Little Women. Yet Alcott faced a bit of a battle to get her work out there and was encouraged to find work as a servant to make ends meet. It was her letters back home during her experience as a nurse in the Civil War that gave her the first big break she needed.
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Musicians
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Although their music is some of the best selling, best loved, and most popular around the world today, these musicians show that it takes a whole lot of determination to achieve success. 42.Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Mozart began composing at the age of five, writing over 600 pieces of music that today are lauded as some of the best ever created. Yet during his lifetime, Mozart didn't have an easy time. He was often restless, leading to his dismissal from a position as a court musician in Salzberg. He struggled to keep the support of the aristocracy and died with little money to his name. Elvis Presley: As one of the best-selling artists of all time, Elvis has become a household name in the years after his death. But back in 1954, Elvis was still a nobody. Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired Elvis Presley after just one performance telling him, "You ain't goin' nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck." Igor Stravinsky: In 1913 when Stravinsky debuted his now famous Rite of Spring, audiences rioted, running the composer out of town. Yet it was this very work that changed the way composers in the nineteenth century thought about music and cemented his place in musical history. The Beatles: Few people can deny the lasting power of this super group, still popular with listeners around the world today. Yet when they were just starting out, a recording company rejected them. The were told, "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out," two things the rest of the world couldn't have disagreed with more. Ludwig van Beethoven: In his formative years, young Beethoven was incredibly awkward on the violin and was often so busy working on his own compositions that he neglected to practice. Despite his love of composing, his teachers felt he was hopeless at it and would never succeed with the violin or in composing. Beethoven kept plugging along, however, and composed some of the best-loved symphonies of all time, five of them while he was completely deaf. 106
Athletes
Although some athletes rocket to fame, others endure a path fraught with adversity, like those listed here. 42. Michael Jordan: Most people wouldn't believe that a man often lauded as the best basketball player of all time was actually cut from his high school basketball team. Luckily, Jordan didn't let this setback stop him from playing the game. He has stated, "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions, I have been entrusted to take the game-winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." 42. Stan Smith: This tennis player was rejected from even being a lowly ball boy for a Davis Cup tennis match because the event organizers felt he was too clumsy and uncoordinated. Smith went on to prove them wrong, showcasing his not-so-clumsy skills by winning Wimbledon, the U. S. Open, and eight Davis Cups. 43. Babe Ruth: You probably know Babe Ruth because of his home-run record (714 during his career), but along with all those home runs came a hefty amount of strikeouts as well (1,330 in all). In fact, for decades he held the record for strikeouts. When asked about this he simply said, "Every strike brings me closer to the next home run." 44. Tom Landry: As the coach of the Dallas Cowboys, Landry brought the team two Super Bowl victories, five NFC Championship victories, and holds the record for the most career wins. He also has the distinction of having one of the worst first seasons on record (winning no games) and winning five or fewer over the next four seasons. The Lesson of this Exercise The point of the exercise is to have kids understand that measuring success is a process that includes hard work struggle and re-tries (failures). In fact, the goal is to fail harder so you can learn, make adjustments, and succeed.
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Exercise #11 Debate a New Idea Or a New Law
Change is always uncomfortable and most great or new ideas meet resistance. Kids must master the skills necessary to defend the concepts of the future in science, social justice, and new inventions. Ideas are not birthed without a challenge or struggle. They often require a sponsor to usher them into the world. The skill of proving your idea and defending your concept is a powerful tool in moving your idea through the rights of passage. This exercise is great in helping kids develop the tools for constructive debate or discussion. This exercise is divided into two parts: Part 1 Debating a new idea Part 2 Debating a new law Debating or creating a new idea and a new law contain similar elements; however, they stem from completely different platforms and paths of logic. Debating new ideas often requires the introduction of a new concept, whereas debating a new law is the expansion of a concept within an existing structure (our legal system). The introduction of a completely 108
new concept may call up stretches of logic and imagination without a prototype. The introduction of a new law based on existing rights requires referencing the application of previously accepted concepts.
Part 1 Debate a new idea
Pick a current topic and have the students debate either side of the topic. This should be done in the following sequence. Step 1 Pick a Topic Pick a topic kids have a relevant interest in and can develop a passionate opinion about. When first learning to debate, the topics should be easy so students do not need to do a lot or research and instead form and verbalize their point. Sample Simple Topics
Sample Advanced Topics
Who makes the best skateboarders Cheating on a test The age kids should be allowed to get a tattoo Situations in which a cell phone should be allowed to ring in class
Social issues Global warming Civic topics School topics Global civil issues
Step 2 Do an overview presentation Do an overview presentation of the topic or idea through news reports, written material, etc. The presentation should be concise, full of facts, and have the ability to polarize opinions. It’s important to present the topic uniformly to all the students. Step 3 Get a general census of the classroom through their feedback Based on the information presented ask the group a key question or make a statement and ask them to indicate by a showing of hands whether they agree with your statement, disagree with your statement, or are undecided. 109
Step 4 Divide the class into three groups
Based on their expressed opinions, students will agree, disagree, or be undecided. Try to get them evenly distributed.
Step 5 Assign research
Assign research and ask students to support their opinions through that research. The assignment of the undecided group is to summarize what each side has presented and come to an updated conclusion. They don’t have to reach an absolute opinion, but they must indicate how their opinion has altered or been adjusted. They must state why they were undecided to begin with and how the information presented affected their opinion.
General rules There is no right or wrong answer. However, the person should be able to explain why they are taking a particular position. Ask students to adhere to the following guidelines: I. Each presentation is timed to 10, 15, or 20 minutes II. Each side should have a handout for each student in the class III.Each presentation should allow a few minutes at the end to take questions from the class The goal of this exercise is teach kids to assemble ideas and to analyze them before they present them. You’ll know you’re successful at this when they don’t want to stop the discussion.
Part 2 Debate a new law This exercise is similar to the new-idea exercise except it deals with matters of civil law. Pick a new or pending law and have the students debate either side of the topic. This should be done in the following sequence.
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Step 1 Pick an existing or pending law Pick a law with a lot of available material to research. The topic should be able to capture their interest and create a passionate opinion. Sample legal issues include the following: Social issues Student safety Educational opportunities Children’s rights Civic rights School topics Animal rights Step 2 Do an overview presentation Do an overview presentation of the legal topic or idea through news reports, written material, etc. The presentation should be concise, full of facts, and have the ability to polarize opinions. It’s important to present the topic uniformly to the students. Step 3 Get a general census of the class through their feedback Based on the information presented, ask the group a key question about that law or make a statement and ask them to indicate by a show of hands whether they agree with the new or pending law, disagree with the new or pending law, or are undecided. Step 4 Divide the class into three groups Based on their expressed opinions, students will agree, disagree, or be undecided. Try to get them evenly distributed. Step 5 Assign research Assign research and ask students to support their opinions through that research. The assignment of the undecided group is to summarize what each side has presented and come to an updated conclusion. They don’t have to reach an absolute opinion, but they must indicate how their opinion has altered or been adjusted. They must state why they were undecided to begin with and how the information presented affected their opinion. 111
General rules There is no right or wrong answer. However, the person should be able to explain why they are taking a particular position. Ask students to adhere to the following guidelines: I. Each presentation is timed to 10, 15, or 20 minutes II. Each side should have a handout for each student in the class III.Each presentation should allow a few minutes at the end to take questions from the class This exercise helps kids understand the imperfections of civil organizing and that civil governance is always a work in progress. It helps them understand the importance of their participation in the “fabric of humanity.” The more involved and engaged they are in the world, the greater difference they can make. Benefit of this exercise It’s important for kids to understand the process of change takes time. An exchange of ideas creates a stronger platform for meaningful discussion or negotiation. It’s equally important that kids become skilled listeners able to identify core issues and Inconsistencies within the debate.
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Individual Personal Messages Exercises (The Value Exercises) Introduction The words we use on ourselves are the single most important influences in shaping our thoughts. Likewise, with children, what they are trained to think about themselves, good or bad, will become true for them in the future. These individual personal message exercises could also be called the value exercises. The goal of a value exercise is to understand that value and quality must first be an internal perception before you can project, give, or share it. When a person feels small, they tend to need to shrink other people. Parents do it to children, children do it to other children, husbands and wives do it to each other, and people do it to each other. It’s a way to gain control. On the other side of this spiritual equation, if a person feels inspired, complete, grateful, and hopeful, they are stronger. Strong people are more likely to overcome fear and intimidation. If the hope we spoke of earlier is based on an internal unseen “knowing” and not tied to any external circumstances, then it’s coming from an infinite source. And being from an infinite source in infinite supply, we can give it away in an infinite manner. Winning isn’t a matter of “a win” being counterbalanced by “a loss” or the idea that in order for someone to win, someone has to lose. In the bigger scope of things, the true spiritual mathematicians can create as many win-wins as possible. One would think that kids come with natural receptors to learn, but some children are already stripped of their self-esteem before they enter the classroom. Their home life is so toxic or a tragedy so impactful, the child is already shutting down. If kids and people don’t learn to redirect and repeal intentional external shrinkage, it will dim a spirit and cause that child or person to be less than they were intended to be. 113
Exercise #12 Developing Intuition and Broader patterns of Logic The biggest engine you will ever have to operate is your mind.
Developing intuition
Intuitive people listen differently. They listen with their ears, eyes, gut, and any other part of their being to really “get it.” Intuitive types listen to what you’re saying and the way you say it. Intuitive people observe patterns of behavior in nature, science, natural phenomena, and people. They understand or pick up less obvious elements. Some intuitive types require opportunities to concentrate and long periods of quiet or sleep. These opportunities allow their minds to slow down and focus on pulling from the unseen or indescribable to something that can be communicated. We all have some form of intuition. The most important intuition to pay attention to is the voice inside your own head. This will help you grasp your inner voice or your own version of knowing. It takes courage to listen and follow your own voice. It takes courage not to follow the herd and think your own great thoughts. Intuitive types tend to sense or recognize patterns including patterns of human behavior. They can often deduce what part of your background, education, family, customs, and tradition prompted you to say something. After a bit of discussion, they understand what type of “thinker” you’re likely to be. From that information, an intuitive person can narrow the probability of a person’s subsequent choices and actions. 114
We are at a point at which the topics discussed in this book now tie together. We will start with a simple truth: Whatever you spend time with, you will become. We absorb information randomly and deliberately. Once you really understand something, you develop an intuition about it. In other words, you get a feel for it. Sometimes you can quantify and express it and sometimes you can’t. Musical scores, poetry, movie scripts, scientific revelations, and countless inventions sit locked in our minds simply because we don’t have the skills and can’t express them in a way that others can “get it.” All of the topics and subjects ever taught or ever will be taught are tools to communicate and tie current understanding to new discoveries and revelations. Subconscious Thinkers Our minds do and will always process faster subconsciously than consciously. We can get a kernel of information in a millisecond. I call it a download or a creative drop. Over time, we go back to it and begin to assimilate and unfold the infolded information. This can take anywhere from a few hours to a lifetime. The subconscious is a super processor. We call it genius. I call it a complete thought. If or when you sit still and think, the subconscious can make logical calculations, extrapolate, and reason. We will always understand more that we can communicate. Children are comfortable understanding and perceiving more than they can communicate. They understand in simple, eternal, timeless ways. The greater truths are still with them. Always remember that an inability to express a truth doesn’t render a true logical revelation invalid. Especially when you make cognitive or technological leaps. Remember when the world was flat? A cognitive or technological leap means you have an understanding of something and can’t quite explain how you got there. Sometimes when people do that, they can explain the background, foreground to the left and to the right of it, yet never have studied that information. They can know it in great detail, as if they took dictation. If you look at the manuscripts of brilliant, creative people you will get the impression that they are thinking much faster than they can write or communicate that information. Children that can deduce or extrapolate quickly usually have trouble sitting in a classroom taking an hour to listen to a teacher about something they already grasped in the first few minutes. 115
These are examples of gifts and great responsibilities (curses). Really bright intuitive types want to be more normal. People that blend-in yearn to stand out. Singers wan to act. Actors want to be politicians. Basketball players want to play golf. I call it the great “over there, the next hill over.” The big question is and always will be, Who are you and why are you here? If you can answer that question, you can become present in your own real life. Creating a broader base for logic, creativity, and connectivity It’s important for kids to understand how their brains and intuition work. The broader a kid’s exposure to various types of experiences, such as physical exercise, expression, music, art, science, and travel, the greater their aptitude in problem-solving and innovation. Each experience creates a new path of stored memory. Elements within that stored experience create a menu for future reference. Even though we don’t think about it, our minds use a bit of information from one place, a function from another, and cross-reference all aspects to exponentially improve our problem-solving abilities. Furthermore, the mind stores and uses every element and object that comes into its sphere. It also stores “unknowns.” The subconscious mind processes streams of logic and connectivity and presents it to the conscious mind. This process can happen quickly or take years. A key fact to understand when sharing information to a group of people is that no two people hear the same thing the same way. People actually hear and retain information based on their individual reference to meaning and language. The reason it seems so closely associated within a country, city, or classroom is because our references and relational information are similar. For this reason, presenting information in a variety of formats helps kids “get it” and reinforces the patterns of logic by giving the mind a variety of paths in which to relate this information.
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Exercise #13 Helping Kids Design a New Tool Box for Core Function Mastery, Technological Integration and the Instant Exchange of Social Media. Introduction As educators and parents, we can’t just start throwing subjects and facts out into the middle of the street and expect it all to stick in a kid’s mind. Information has to have a context if it’s going to be retained. It’s internalized to an even greater degree if that information is attached to something of great interest or passion. A general topic, such as math, science, social studies, history, art, or any other subject, doesn’t stand alone in a neat little isolated package. Information blends in a dynamic relational context. For example, there is a physics to business, an art to math, a science to social studies, and a history to music. Kid should see these subjects as tools supporting their passion, not a direct measurement of their intelligence. Context, use, and internalization are the keys to mastery. The ability to cross-reference disciplines, logics, and functionality is the epitome of thinking outside of the box. In this new era of speed and information, kids must be able to do that. An example of how powerful it is to cross-reference logics and functionality was demonstrated by President Abraham Lincoln. When President Lincoln reflected on 117
Euclid’s axioms and common notions, a 2,000-year-old theory of mechanical law, he found paths of logic that were applicable to human values within the current social system. At a critical time when racial injustice ran rampant, he made a clear deduction that rang true in mechanical engineering and in society. He called the concept a self-evident truth: “Things which are equal to the same thing are equal to each other.” From this he deduced black men are valued by God just as white men are valued by God. Thus, all men are equal to each other. He went on to weave this logic into the Gettysburg Address, and the country went in an enlightened direction. This logic remains one of humanity’s great truths, which becomes more relevant as we grow into a global community. Moving forward towards the early part of the twenty-first century, students memorize information with minimal application and long-term retention. They push through the educational menu with a large percentage of subjects studied solely to fulfill a requirement. Once students graduate, their educational palette is already antiquated. Students graduate with a minimal ability to apply that information and no ability to technologically integrate it. Today, curriculum must be as functional as a tool kit. Students must understand it to a point of mastery, practical application, and technological functionality. Currently, curricula change slowly within a school, whereas they change daily in the real world. It’s an understatement to say that school systems must be renovated and remain agile enough to infuse relevant current information in the short term. In the meantime, kids need the tools to recognize core functionality, make practical applications, and technologically integrate their skill sets. You’d be surprised at how advanced their functionality already is due to social media and video games. The purpose of formal education should no longer be the following: To solely obtain a degree To build credits towards a degree To be a point of entry into the job market To validate practical knowledge 118
The purpose of the classroom and any type of formal education should give kids the following: ď Ź the ability to understand the core functionality of a subject ď Ź the chance to integrate that functionality into a practical application and ď Ź the opportunity to successfully make the appropriate technological integrations Students should be able to cross-reference similar to what Abraham Lincoln did and many other great minds have done over the centuries.
Part 1 Hard science to physical and technological applications
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A discussion and physical demonstration of how an equation works allows students to understand it and facilitates kids in making other associations, either manmade or natural, that use that same function. As Peter Drucker said, we all know how to use a hammer but can’t all calculate the physics behind doing it. That doesn’t stop us from using the hammer. Advanced Functionality Skill Sets
TM
or (AFSS)
Advanced functionality means kids are already using and experiencing advanced skill sets associated with hard sciences without a formal label attached to those skills. Hard sciences are sciences that yield a definitive outcome or measurable results based on defined and measurable inputs (if, then), (1’s and 0’s).
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The skills about to be mentioned apply to hard science topics and yield results under ifthen scenarios. For example, playing video games kids learn and master the following: Hand/eye coordination Internalized probability Statistics Within the game’s construct, an understanding of risk/reward Special navigation Strategy Ability to understand variables within a controlled environment Ability to understand probable behavior of variables within a controlled environment (system intuition) Ability to master controlled environment Physics
Part 2 Technological environments to hard science Start with a video game that each kid is already playing.
I. Have each kid explain the video game they most like to play. This can be in discussion and in writing. II. From the activity they describe, you make the hard science association for that activity. There may be several types of hard sciences demonstrated within the construct of the video game. III. Present it to the class and have
Physics
Risk
them participate in trying to find
Pick a Video Game
Probability
other types of functions within the software. 121
Strategy
Sports Video Games These games use several AFSS, including the following: Probability of players Hand-eye coordination Player’s historical statistics Physics within the construct of the game Play strategy Racing video games These games use several intuitive types of AFSS, such as the following: Hand-eye coordination Navigating between the constant and variable elements of the racing course Strategy video games These games rely heavily on the following: Strategy within a specific construct Planning Understanding of resources within the construct of the game Use of those resources Goals To quantify and navigate a variety of variables to achieve the goal of winning or any other type of reward expressed in the game. Combat Video Games Combat games can include all the variables of the strategy and sports games with an added boost of adrenalin. Because of the multiple layers of stimulation and adrenalin, these games can be especially addictive. Keep in mind that any activity a person engages in, including video games, over an extended period of time will affect the person playing them. Although advanced functionality works on hard science scenarios, it doesn’t work on the soft ones. Examples of soft sciences are social sciences, interpretation of historical events, culture, and some areas of medicine and psychology. Soft sciences are situations that require the skill sets mentioned here, such as intuition, fuzzy patterns of logic, people skills, complex problem solving, cultural awareness, and projection. For kids, both types of skill sets are required to be successful. 122
Exercise #14 Define the Greater Voice: Have Each Child Develop or Adopt His or Her Mantra Describe the concept of the greater voice. Every one of us has a greater voice. We can be temporarily distracted, delayed, or discouraged, but this faint inner cadence keeps coming back to remind us of our potential, our dreams, and our destiny. Each human being is a customized mix of genes with a unique personality. All of that never gets fully unlocked unless we ask the big questions: Why am I here? What do I most like to do? What is my purpose? The statements we make to ourselves are powerful. Every other voice is simply a suggestion thrown in intentionally or unintentionally. The truth we adapt is the one we will continue to fashion ourselves with. The purpose of this exercise is to design a statement of truth that we can repeat to ourselves as a reset button, refresher, replenisher, and reminder. Sometimes we forget our own strength and purpose. We have to be reminded that there is greatness yet to be revealed in our lives. Kids are still creating their personalities and thought processes. If they encounter dark or shrinking words in addition to life’s normal obstacles, they, like anyone, can become dejected and discouraged. Why affirmations are important Most versions of personal success require time. Anyone can be gifted, smart, and innovative, but if someone lacks the patience to stick with something until it’s completed or stops trying, he or she may not realize his or her full potential. This is why it’s important for a person to be prepared for multiple failures and successes. That’s not to say that some things they try will fall into place. Most things of value take time and an extended amount 123
of focus. Affirmations should contain pure base concepts, such as whatever is pure, true, noble, just, beautiful, virtuous, and positive. Kids should write some of their own affirmations It’s important for kid’s to hear good information in their own heads and that it be in their own voice. That is why kids should write their own mantras. For example, a mantra can be based on something they read, stories they’ve heard, or people they’ve met. They’re all about inspiration. The affirmation should be in the first person. For example, it should begin with I am, I will, or I can. Features of great affirmations include the following:
optimism about the future acknowledgment that there may be a struggle to be overcome encouragement to proceed with your dreams the willingness to do the work necessary to accomplish those dreams
Examples of great kid affirmations
I am a gathering the tools to make my dreams come true.
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I understand failure is a part of the path to success
Sometimes when I swing, my mind flies higher to bigger possibilities.
I don’t have to be perfect; I just have to be me. 125
I am awesome and I will let someone else know that they are awesome too!
Smiles and hugs make people feel better.
When people are mean or critical, I choose to take the updraft and soar past it. Hint: Affirmations should be like a kid’s pair of pants. They grow into them. Once they outgrow them, it’s time to get a bigger pair. Personal growth never stops. 126
Exercise #15 Stay the Course with Your Greater Voice
Introduction The goal of this exercise is to grow your own internal passion and dreams in spite of naysayers and negative feedback. This is a great tool in helping kids learn to keep their dreams alive despite external circumstances. It is the action of putting one foot in front of the other and paying attention to the voice inside of your head. This exercise requires two groups. The groups change places and repeat the exercise so each group has a change to participate on both sides. Step 1 Divide the class or team into two groups. Group 1: the writers (inside voices) Group 2: the mockers (outside voices) Step 2 Group 1 The writers, or students listening to their inner voice, walk into the room, sit down at the desks, and begin writing their affirmations either from memory or by copying them down.
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Step 3 Group 2 The mockers stand in a circle around the students that are writing and begin agitating them and creating distractions. They say things like the following:
Give up! What’s the use! Stop trying!
Wouldn’t you rather be outside playing? Who cares about the future? Live now!
To ensure things don’t get out of hand, the distractions can be written down on a set of cards and each student can randomly read the cards. Step 4 The students listening to their inner voices are instructed to keep writing no matter what’s said on the outside. They are to stay the course and finish what they are doing. Step 5 After writing the affirmations down, the students stand up and read them out loud. They try to read them louder than the mockers’ voices. Step 6 Once all the inner voice students finish writing and announcing their affirmations, they all stand up and silence the mockers. This can be done by saying “silence!” or doing the shhhhhhh sign with their hands or any agreed-upon method. Once they take an action to silence the mockers, the mockers stop immediately. Step 7 All the students applaud and congratulate each other, especially the students that completed writing their affirmations. This concludes the exercise. Step 8 Both sides make comments on how they felt during the session. The mockers discuss their feelings and what they observed and the writers discuss their feelings, what they were thinking, and how the whole experience affected them. Step 9 After a break or on a different day, repeat the exercise. This time have the students change sides. The goal of this exercise is to have the inner voice become the greater voice. This is important throughout a person’s life. 128
Stay the Course with the Greater Voice Graduation
Defending the Dissertation of the Inner Voice Overview for this Exercise The students work in smaller groups. They speak their affirmations while the others challenge the content of the affirmation. The student prepares a list of responses to those challenges and becomes prepared to give those responses while standing their grounds and defending their dreams and visions. Sample discouraging comments include the following: What makes you think you can succeed? Why is your affirmation so important? Who are you anyway? What if you fail? What if people talk about you? What if they laugh at you? Sample affirming responses include the following: My affirmation is (recite your affirmation exactly) My affirmation means (describe it in detail) It’s effective for me because (state your personal application of this affirmation) It’s also effective for others because (describe the global impact of your affirmation if everyone applied it to their lives) 129
Each time they encounter an opposition, they become stronger and more determined to live out their affirmations, first to prove it to and for themselves and then to eliminate space for seeds of doubt and discouragement to take root. Step 1 Each student will stand in front of the group or class and recite his or her affirmation with commentary on why it’s relevant and important to them. Step 2 After hearing the affirmation, the student takes comments and questions from the audience. The group members, who challenge the speaker on the content of the affirmation. Challenges include the following: What’s your name? Where do you come from? Under what authority do you think you have to discuss this affirmation? What does this ____ mean? What does that_____ mean? This all sounds stupid! It’s not going to work! You’re not good enough! The student being tested on his or her own inner voice will cite examples and circumstances where historical figures failed and successfully over came that adversity. Not once but several times. The students are to address the mockers with a variety of skilled responses. The students should never be rude. The student should be prepared to defend and responsd. After half a dozen questions are successfully answered, the dissertation defense process is complete. Please note that if you’re doing dissertations for an entire class or a large group, you may have to break them up over a few days until they are all complete. Once everyone is done, they are presented with a certificate of completion and a copy of their affirmation written out in the format of a decree. It should read something like the following. 130
Certificate of Completion
On the _____ day of ______, in the year ____ __________________________ (student’s name)
successfully defended their affirmation amidst the snear of fierce opposition. They displayed uncommon valor in the defense of that affirmation. So much so, that they are being awarded this certificate of completion. From this day forward, they will be regarded as one of “those people” able to defend the content of right and important matters. _____________ Signatures
___________
Signatures
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Developing Multiple Roadmaps A single goal should have multiple methods of getting accomplished. That way the probability of success increases exponentially. In chapter 5, exercise 9 “Studying the failures of famous people,” there is a constant theme in each person’s experience: they never gave up. One failure became a checkpoint to proceed to the next attempt and ultimately they succeeded. Kids should understand that choices and options create multiple paths towards their goals. Choices and options have to be created. In fact, kids and adults must learn to create them throughout their lifetimes. With every challenge, applying innovation and creativity are powerful tools in creating choices. Where most people would consider only one or two ways of getting something done, innovators and creative thinkers find multiple ways of “making it happen.” Other tools for developing multiple road maps in life, and quite possibly the most important ones, are persistence, focus, and courage. Kids must have the courage to make their own choices. The following diagram explains how fear or low self-esteem can limit a child’s initial ability to make choices. This diagram crosses all economic boundaries. Privileged and disadvantaged kids alike can become victims of bullying or be bullies. When they are confident and can protect themselves, they have the freedom to make choices. They must learn a number of ways to stay safe, make wise decisions, and learn to grow in wisdom. 132
Diagramming the Relationship Between Fear and Personal Choice Kids that can Protect Themselves The term “protect themselves” doesn’t mean defend against violence. The term refers to not being a victim and not feeling helpless or afraid. It also means being able to stay safe in an environment. This requires kids to know who people are, not be around people or situations that are unsafe, know when situations escalate or get out of control, get help immediately if see something, and discuss things that don’t seem right with parents or “go-to” people.
Kids that can’t Protect Themselves
When a person is afraid or intimidated, they tend to make choices and comply in any possible way the person they’re afraid of. Fear and intimidation alone can freeze the “free will” and independent thinking of most kids.
Strong Character
Most kids have an idea of what strong character is, but when it comes to practicing it they have to be free and secure enough to make these decisions. That includes standing up against peer pressure. 133
Weak character
There isn’t any situation where a weak character is an attribute. Kids that can protect themselves can choose which path they want to follow. Otherwise, they are at the mercy of their social environment and menacing elements. Over time, the choice of personal strength and character becomes hardwired. As kids grow up, that behavior becomes second nature.
Kids with strong characters can protect themselves
and have greater range of strong personal choices to make. They are less likely to be bullied or intimidated into making a decision. This trait will only get stronger as they grow up.
Strong character kids that can’t protect themselves
A kid that has a strong character but can’t really protect him or herself is conscious of possible risks. However, by having a strong character, they think of ways to do the right thing. This combination type may be subtler in their actions. As they grow older, they may become more direct or creative in finding their way to the right decisions. 134
Weak character kids that can’t protect themselves
A kid that can’t really protect him or herself and has weak character is more likely to be influenced out of fear, especially if this kid is constantly in a bad environment that is full of bad influences.
Weak character kids that can protect themselves
A kid with this combination is likely to be a ringleader. If he or she isn’t redirected in a positive way, he or she is likely to become a bully who terrorizes the smaller and weaker children.
Courage to make personal choices and build their own life’s path Kids are well on their way to constructing multiple roadmaps of success in their lives. They must be persistent and stay on task. They must be innovative and create multiple methods of “making it happen.” And they must entertain multiple choices and options available for a single goal.
For any obstacles or road blocks met along the way, good mottos are : Go over it Go Around it
Go through it
it
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Ju
st do get ne !
Chapter 7 Conclusion
Prepare for Greatness, Plan-a-Win
As much as this book is a discussion about new aspects of children’s social development, it is also a confirmation of our need for further social development. We all can acknowledge the following points: There is a healthy playground dynamic Kids come with unique personalities that should be protected and remain in tact We as adults contribute both positively and negatively to our children’s lives before they ever get to the playground Kids learn and pollinate behavior and ideas among each other We must build and maintain a healthy playground dynamic with social skills relevant to a hyper-connective world There are internalized benefits to free play working with objects, textures, and a variety of materials challenges and competitive sports effective self-expression There is lasting power in our words We must learn to defend great ideas, concepts, and beneficial purposes We must develop intuition Subjects and curricula must be tools with immediate application and use Social media presents greater opportunities to make a difference Plan to win These and more obvious realities, such as social media and limitless connection, tell us that the world has permanently changed and we are changing with it. We don’t want to gain the hardware of technology while we passively watch the deterioration of our own humanity. This was a key element that gave us the foundation and freedom to innovate in the first place. Let’s regress for a moment and compare prior periods in history when we experienced similar moments of dramatic progress. 136
Key Historical Benchmarks Prompting Social Evolutions
Hunter-and-Gatherer Societies To survive, early human societies depended on their immediate environment. Hunter-andgatherer societies were tribal. Members shared an ancestral heritage and a common set of traditions and rituals. They also sacrificed their individuality for the sake of the larger tribal culture. Agricultural Societies Agrarian societies were able to produce a surplus of goods, which made storing food for future use a possibility. With stability came the trade of surplus goods between neighboring communities. Agrarian societies allowed certain of its members (those who were not domesticating animals) to engage in nonsurvival activities. Traders, healers, spiritual leaders, craftspeople, and people with other specialty professions began to appear. The Agricultural Revolution refers to the technological changes that occurred as long as 8,500 years ago that led to cultivating crops and raising farm animals. Increases in food supplies then led to larger populations. Industrial Revolution The Industrial Revolution appeared first in Britain and then quickly spread to the rest of the world. As productivity increased, the means of transportation improved to better 137
facilitate the transfer of products from place to place. Great wealth was attained by the few who owned factories, and the “masses� found jobs working in the factories. Political institutions changed into modern models of governance. Cultural diversity increased, as did social mobility. Large cities emerged as places to find jobs in factories. The Industrial Revolution also saw to the development of bureaucratic forms of organization, complete with written rules, job descriptions, impersonal positions, and hierarchical methods of management. Technological Revolution I The creation of commercial technologies Within the last 30 years, technology has moved from the personal computer to a technological interface with almost every mechanical function that exists. Technological Revolution II Evolution of power processors The next generation of technologies will be characterized by less invasive hardwired, intuitive software and tremendously powerful processors. It will give us the ability to ask bigger questions and position us to solve bigger problems.
Patterns in Human Behaviors Associated with Each Evolution
With each evolution, there has been an opportunity to affect a segment of humanity. With each opportunity, man has had to decide whether to benefit humanity as a whole or to solely benefit themselves. Unfortunately, during each social revolution, a more powerful group has emerged and taken full advantage of the surplus. It has only been through protest, revolt, or strikes that the privileged few have yielded to pressures and shared these resources with the masses.
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Broad Impact of Social Media Like no prior time in history, our thoughts shape us and our interactive thoughts are shaping our world. Social media has created a dynamic of instant information and social impact. For example, social media has collapsed the time between thoughts communicated and group action. In the recent past, a group of people could think or feel passionately about something, build a small support group about it, go to Kinkos, make some flyers, and pass them out. They could take donations, get fancy go get business cards, establish a nonprofit status, and open an office. After all of that, if they were able to keep the lights on, over time they might make a difference. Today, you can blow up any idea that catches on in a matter of minutes. You can literally reach a listening world with a trending idea in minutes. This great fairway of connectivity is both a blessing and a curse. To demonstrate this concept consider if everyone were riding around in soap-box cars and then given the opportunity to trade them in for Ferraris. Without any training about speed or road rules, the result would be an expensive disaster. We can go fast as we want, but if we don’t have purpose and directions it’s just aimless traffic or noise. We have to grow up and participate in this social evolution responsibly. We have to be present and deliberate in creating a healthy social evolutionary process.
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Social media has collapsed the time between perceived intent and a prepared response. The opportunity and responsibility that exist with the speed of information is mindboggling. We’re going to break this down methodically and take it one word at a time. By now, you know how powerful words are but the intent and energy behind them can be even greater.
Quick Scenario
You live in a town where everybody walks. Let’s call this Walker Town. You send messages through the town crier who takes your information and walks down the street and delivers it face to face. On occasion, you may send the wrong message but in this town of walkers you can simply run and catch the town crier and change your message. Today, once you post to social media or hit send, it’s out there. You can’t un-send a sent message. How many times in close relationships do we blurt out something or react in anger and have to go back and apologize? We misspeak in anger all the time. Thoughtful communication is even more important because the ability to react is almost instantaneous. Social media has collapsed the time between energy internalized and social shading. Energy internalized and social shading: let’s sit on that connection for a minute. It’s the same as garbage-in and garbage-out. We raise kids in a toxic society and then question their behavior. We punish kids, teens, and people for responding appropriately to desperation and hopelessness. Energy internalized is the sum total of our group message. It has everything to do with blending our fragmented messages into a social soup and telling our kids to swim in it. Freedom does not mean mindless neglect, unmonitored deterioration, and crumbling structures. Freedom is providing citizens with a conscious choice with full disclosure of the consequences of their choices. Our group’s social messages must be clear. Our history, both the good and the bad, must be told truthfully and our unfolding revelations from our own history must be continuously updated. 140
The Priceless Attribute of Our Kids Clear thinking, compassion, and simple truths
Ideally, the goal of society should be to start with each kid and nurture and develop their life purposes. You’d be surprised at how intact children’s spirits and hearts are. They know and understand simple truths with open hearts. Their answers to complex problems are often straightforward, simple, and remarkably clear. Simple, sandbox logic is profound. The following information came to me as I was writing the conclusion. It’s fitting and appropriate that we hear it in the kids’ own words. Source: Ladan Lashkari,"What Does Love Mean?" See How 4-8 Year-Old Kids Describe Love . By Ladan Lashkari "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy, age 4 "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby, age 7 (Wow!) "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." Nikka, age 6 A four-year-old child had a next-door neighbor. He was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old man's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing. I just helped him cry." Article Source: http://www.redsofts.com/articles/ 141
We must think better thoughts, take better actions, ask bigger questions, and seek broader solutions. It is all quite possible in the midst of a vibrant dynamic playground. Just remember,
Any child with hope is “The One.� One
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