Ibizan 789 eissue

Eat, Drink, Sleep & Party in Ibiza for under 25â‚Ź a Day! Can the Ibizan achieve the impossible? Page 16

Mental Rentals Rental scams on the rise Blamed on demand outstripping supply

The National Police has warned to be wary of rental scammers after the

recent arrest of a couple accused of defrauding twelve people by letting non-existent apartments. The suspected criminals have made more

than 62,000 euros with deceptions perpetrated in the municipalities of Ibiza and San Anto-

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News ...

Tourists Shun Hotels

The islands of Ibiza and Formentera received 299,931 visitors in May, 3.1% more than in the same month last year, according to data from Frontur. Of that total, only

Assault And Pepper

The Guardia Civil is investigating an attack on a man and a woman in Puig d'en Valls on Friday.

Apparently four men wearing caps and bandanas blind-

Neighbours Found Dead

Two men were found dead Friday in an apartment in the centre of Santa EulĂ ria. The Guardia Civil reported that, pending autopsy, it seems that the deceased

Full Stories On Page 5

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The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

Weather Thursday 28o

Page 2

Agenda

Friday 27º Salinas Visitors Centre

Salinas Visitors Centre Opens

Saturday 29o

the industry, as salt and its export was once the main industry on Ibiza. Some of the old tools used to gather the salt are on display.

As well as being an exhibition space and visitor reception centre, the centre also hosts environmental education activities related to the Salinas National Park.

The centre is an agreement between Ibiza and the Bishopric of Formentera, the owners of the property Tourism Foundation for the Promotion of Ibiza, an organization that depends on the Consell Insular d'Eivissa the City Council of Sant Josep de

Claire B

The Interpretation Centre at Ses Salinas has opened its doors to the public with the permanent exhibition ‘Salines de les Balears. El paisatge inventat’ – Salinas of the Balearics, The invented landscape. The current exhibition shows the evolution of salt mining in the National Park of Ses Salinas and the natural and cultural value of the salt flats and

Sunday 29º

Monday 29º

Tuesday 29º

Exchange Rate: 24 June 15 €:£ 0.7166 £:€ 1.3981

Euro to GBP Past Month

e

We Th

Fr

e

Sa

Su

d d

San Jordi Flea Market

d d d

Cala Leña 2nd Hand Market Atzarò Agroturismo San Juan Market

24 Jun

17 Jun

10 Jun

03 Jun

Gorila Market Cala De Bou 27 May

SCORCHIO!

Las Dalias San Carlos

0.750 0.740 0.730 0.720 0.710 0.700 0.690 20 May

Wednesday 30o

Ibiza Markets d=day e=eve Mo Tu

Passeig de S'Alamera Sta Eulalia

d

d

d

Cala Llonga Hippy Market

d d

Mercado Forada Hippy Market Es Canar

d

d e

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

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Black Door Cinema Eden

Page 3

Agenda

Claire B

Ai Carai Festival Nicole Torres For the third consecutive year, Sant Carles transforms itself on the 21st of June into a town with a soundtrack thanks to Ai Carai! San Carlos Music Festival, an initiative in which over a hundred musicians, belonging to about 40 different groups, participated to fill the town with music for more than 10 hours. During this day, the road access to the town centre was restricted and the thousands of people interested in this initiative had to make use of deterrent car parks, whose spac-

sa Talaia, and the Balearic Institute of Nature (IBANAT), the agency responsible for the Salinas National Park. The agreement is that Bishopric gives this space for free for a period of five years, extendable for five years, and provides the necessary staff to keep the centre open. Management of the centre requires an annual investment of 25,000 euros, which will be paid by the other three institutions involved.

The space, which is located

es were quickly occupied.

That provisional pedestrianization made possible not only the installation of up to five music stages in different parts of the town but also the organization of children's workshops, the installation of many craft stalls, outlets of drinks and, above all, it was a great opportunity for the establishments in the area, many of which decided to open even on a Sunday and took the opportunity to install bars on their terraces or sell food near the stage, from pizza slices to tiramisus through popular 'choripanes'.

The organization designed for a day a village designed by and for music, with different stages separated from each other by a distance sufficient to not interfere with one another.

The balconies and rooftops of some of the buildings of Sant Carles became a plat-

in the rectory of Sant Francesc de s'Estany, is free to visit from Tuesday to Wednesday and Friday to Sunday from 10am to 2pm and from 6pm to 9pm.

Ballet in Dalt Vila Claire B

On Sunday June 28th there’s a ballet performance in the Baluarte de Santa Lucía in Dalt Vila at 9.30pm. ‘Timeless’ from Ballet Carmen Roche

form from where neighbors also swayed to the tide of songs and concerts.

In the very extensive poster of participants Amit Mishra, Atutiplén, Azibi, Bollywood Ibiza, Brand New Hippies, Calypso Steel Band, the Sant Carles church choir, El rostro de la Medusa, Fletxa Negra, Flor de Higuera, Hot Ice, Jahbless, Jetlag, Johan Sebbastian Bass, Lemon Emigrants, Max Ben, Met Head, Miles Island, Muriel Grossman Quartet, My Generation, Overflow, Paco Romero, Podenco, Punk Buddha Clown, Sonora, Tukdam, The Frígolos, Moxxx Ibiza, Devanagari, Pessoas, Natalia Rua Love, Clownidoscopio.

Davidimonna, Utopía and Improibiza were included.

Let’s hope next year’s is as good as this year’s!

(Madrid) with choreography by Nacho Duato, Jordi Vilaseca, Marius Petipa and Tony Fabre is a classical, neoclassical and contemporary ballet.

Tickets cost 12 in advance from Can Ventosa and 15 on the day at the box office at the Baluarte de Santa Lucía.

The next outdoor screening of the ‘Secret Garden Cinema’ at Boutique Hostal Salinas is on Tuesday June 30th with ‘Eden’.

Paul, a teenager in the underground scene of early 90s Paris, forms a DJ collective with his friends and together they plunge into the nightlife of sex, drugs and endless music. A touching and poignant story covering the evolution of the French dance music scene - for those who grew up listening to this music, this is a trip back in time to those amazing days. Eden is an Epic story that follows the main characters’ misadventures over 20 years - it's a story of passion, love, music, disappointment and the joy of life.

Portraying a generation so energized by possibilities that it was bound to be let down, Eden offers a wise assessment of the interplay between fantasy and reality on the path to adulthood.

The seductive rhythms are a perfect match for a movie that analyzes the unstoppable

flow of life. A quiet, raggedly beautiful mini-epic, Eden isn't a success story - it's a failure story, but it's also a glittering acknowledgement of the fact that failing is the only path towards growing.

Eden has a soundtrack bursting with classic tunes.

Within the main story of the film, it features a parallel dance duo ‘Daft Punk’ played by two actors, and their tunes frequently punctuate the films story and blend in perfectly with the astonishing soundtrack of timeless tracks like ‘Follow Me’ ('Aly-us), ‘The Whistle Song’ (Frankie Knuckles) and ‘Promised Land’ (Joe Smooth).

There’s a special prescreen gourmet BBQ and drinks from 8pm before the film at 10pm.

You need to be a member to buy tickets (membership is free) and you need to buy a ticket online in advance. All details @

Full Moon / Paella Party

Dear Friends, Maureen and I were so moved by what the Ladies from APNEEF had to tell us on Ladies night and what hard life the Children and parents have. In addition they receive very little support from the Government.

So we felt we had to try and raise some more money for their organization hence the Full Moon/ Paella Party. It is being held at Niu Blau Restaurant on Thursday 2nd July at 8.30pm.

The meal consists of Bread and Alioli, Salad, Paella and ice cream. So please bring along as many as people as possible Anybody who can't eat Paella can have Lamb chops but I need to know numbers and non -Paella eaters by next Monday. By the way, we felt it easier if everyone paid for their own drinks and the price is 25€, which gives us a small start on the money raising. I hope you can all make it and look forward to seeing you there.

Yours, Michael

http://bit.ly/1T8FNDE

3 Queens living in (My) Ibiza Claire B

Something a little bit different on July 4th at 6.30pm: A cultural event at the Cocoq home shop presented by Santa Gertrudis bookshop Libro Azul, which sees 3 creative women of Ibiza joining forces to present their latest books.

Hjördis Fogelberg is launching her second edition of the colourful painted guide through Ibiza ‘My Ibiza’, which leads you to the special places that are definitely worth a visit. Tourists need this guide - but also for islanders it’s a must have for the bookshelf.

Ines Schramms in her photobook ‘Chiefs, Queens, Witches and a girl from San Juan’, shows the island from her point of view in seven chapters. Her pure pictures portray this unique island in a poetic but down to

earth way.

Genevieve Scholten’s ‘Living on Ibiza’ combines everything that is important in one book. History, lifestyle, people, food, living and much more, written down with love and captured in atmospheric pictures. Published in four languages.

The night will be a celebration of art, beauty and great women - a dedication to our island and the joy of getting together. Get your personal and signed copies on the

night, when there’ll also be good music, drinks and food.

So, bring your friends, dancing shoes and happiness to celebrate with our Queens of Ibiza!

COCOQ is located at KM 6.2 of the Ibiza-Santa Eularia road near the Go-Karts but on the other side of the road.

Facebook page: http://on.fb.me/1J1UF0T

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

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Page 4

UK Press Heartbroken Girlfriend Starts New Life In Ibiza After Lover Was Knifed To Death On Night Out David Taylor reporting in the Daily Mirror.

A devastated girlfriend has left the UK for a new life in Ibiza after her boyfriend was knifed to death on a night out.

Nicole McKay, 22, has struggled to cope since childhood sweetheart Jordan MacKay, 21, was killed.

Jordan’s killer, Jack Mal-

lon, 37, was sentenced to 19 years behind bars for the cowardly attack in South Queensferry, near Edinburgh, last July.

His co-accused, Charlene Wilson, got nine years for culpable homicide after it was revealed she phoned Mallon to come to the pub to confront Jordan.

Nicole’s dad, Dave, 58, revealed his daughter had

left for the Balearic island three weeks ago and now has a job in a bar.

He said: “Nicole has gone to get away from her horrendous experience.

“She calls every day and knows we are there for her. We have told her she can come home any time.”

Mallon and Wilson are appealing their convictions.

Pardew Looking At Different Clubs Ibiza seems to be the destination of choice for the Premier League’s best footballers this week.

Steven Gerrard was out celebrating his eight year wedding anniversary with wife Alex. Chelsea star Cesc Fabregas was spotted with pregnant wife

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nio.

The investigation began when officers received several complaints from individuals who had been deceived when they tried to rent housing on the island. It transpires that the apartments were already

Daniella Semaan at the Blue Marlin in Cala Jondal. Raheem Stirling has been celebrating with friends on a yacht moored off the coast, and has been allegedly filmed inhaling laughing gas from a balloon. Ross Barkley has also been taking ad-

vantage of his exclusion from the England under21 squad to chill out in Ibiza with friends.

And it’s not just footballers. Crystal Palace manager and silver fox, Alan Pardew was spotted getting his funk on in Pacha amongst others.

rented, in ruin or, in some cases, did not even exist.

The National Police is now taking this opportunity to alert potential victims to the rise in rental crime particularly when booked via the internet. The reason for the increase in these scams is, according

to the National Police, due to the lack of decent rentals available on the island.

The police warned that they are continuing to investigate rental fraud throughout the island and more arrests are not ruled out. In fact they are more than likely as Luis Gon-

zaga, the president of the Facebook group ‘Ibiza afectados con los alquileres’ or ‘Ibiza affected by rents’, stresses that his group is receiving an average of 10-15 complaints per week in relation to fraudulent rentals.

There are currently ‘deals’ such as one which is advertised as a single room, but turns out to be a mattress on an outdoors terrace for the princely sum of 450 euros per week.

There are more horror stories of balconies being rented for 400 euros per month, and people having to share a room with four other people for 350 euros per month. There are even cases of unfinished buildings, without water or electricity, being rented illegally. It isn’t just bad for the summer workers as many residents with a year -long contract have found

that their landlords are trying to illegally increase the rent during the summer months.

The Ibizan spoke to sources that act as letting agents. One such agent told us that landlords who they have worked with for years are being swept along in this wave of greed and are insisting on charging ridiculous prices for apartments which haven’t been updated in twenty years. It is common knowledge within the Ibiza community that many workers cannot afford the current excessive ‘summer’ prices. With the ‘upfront’ payment of deposit (which they rarely get back), month payment in advance and the agency finder’s fee, they are often forced to resort to cheaper alternatives to remain on the island which leaves them vulnerable to being

scammed.

The long-term worry is that workers, who are the lifeblood of the summer season, will simply not want to or not be able to live in Ibiza anymore. And that can’t be good for the island

New Flight Routes

Volotea has opened a direct route between Ibiza and Santander, which will run until September 16 with a frequency of two flights a week, and in which the company expects occupancy of between 75 and 80%. The first flight from Ibiza was welcomed at the Seve Ballesteros de Santander airport, where the plane received the traditional arch of water by the airport’s fire trucks.

The head of Volotea, who

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News ...

(Continued from page 1)

suffered poisoning due to consumption of drugs. Both were neighbours and well known in the town.

At about four in the morning, residents of the building at number 89 Avenue de Sant Jaume called the local police with complaints about loud music. Police knocked on the door of the deceased’s

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ed the couple with pepper spray before trying to rob them of the woman’s bag.

The male victim explained that even though both had been temporarily blinded, the woman managed to punch one of the robbers and that he ran to catch them and kicked their blue Peugeot 308: (Continued from page 1)

168,711 stayed in hotels representing a decrease of 15.2% year on year.

Juanjo Riera, president of the Hotel Association of the Balearic Islands, says that this statistic reflects "a tendency" for tourists to stay illegally in residential dwellings which are ever more

News

From the Front home, but no-one answered. Since the volume was not excessive, the police left only to return at around eleven o'clock after suspicions were raised that there was something wrong. There were no signs of violence and it is thought that the deaths were probably caused by the ingestion of a large amount of drugs.

"I guess that I must have left a dent, because I almost left my foot behind."

The couple is still in shock after what happened and the case is currently being investigated by the Sant Eularia section of the Guardia Civil.

available through the internet.

He further warns that if the Government decides to apply the ecotax to tourists staying at hotels, which the amount of tourists staying in illegal apartments will only increase to the detriment of the hotel industry.

Dead Turtle found in Ibiza Port

was accompanied by Acting Minister of Tourism, Eduardo Arasti, said that the company will continue investing in Santander.

Page 5

Turtle Watch

Two Caretta Caretta turtles, more commonly known as Boba turtles have been found dead in the waters of the Balearic Islands this week.

Veronica Nunez, oceanographer at The Recovery Centre of Marine Species (CREM), has ruled that neither of the deceased turtles was the one that came twice to try to lay their eggs on the beach of Santa Eulària in early June.

Although there are now three dead turtles so far this summer, Veronica Nunez wanted to avoid alarmism. "We cannot say if turtles are more vulnera-

ble, but now, with the famous Sant Eulària turtle, people are much more aware and more alert, which is good."

Traffic Deterrent?

Parking in front of the Old Port of Ibiza Town will be restricted with a payment system similar to the system used last year, at a cost of 2.4 euros per hour for each car. The intention, as explained by the Balearic Islands’ Port Authority (APB), is to restrict vehicle access to the area after receiving a petition from the Ibiza Town council, and the residents and businesses in the area to reduce road traffic.

Whether this tariffed parking is sufficient to tackle traffic issues, the mayor of Ibiza Town said that "for now" it is an appropriate measure and will be reviewed next year.

Formentera pollution

Constant noise and the smoke from the chimneys of the plant of Gesa Endesa in Ca Marí are hurting the quality of life for residents in the area on Formentera.

Rita Costa, a member of

the local town group explains, "We have been demanding help for years and have not received any solution. The turbine is running most of the day and the noise is unbearable."

For years, the neighbours

have also suffered from nervous disorders, headaches, insomnia, and respiratory problems in children and adults who have been forced to go on more than one occasion to the emergency room of the Formentera Hospital.

Forming of Micrometeorites

Space Dust Micrometeorites hit Ibiza The Astronomical Association of Ibiza has located 1,996 micrometeorites which have fallen from space onto the surface of the island.

Micrometeorites consist of small metal or rock grains found in interplanetary space in the Solar System, produced by collisions between asteroids, comets and other phenomena - as reported by the association in a statement.

After analysing a total of six different samples collected in different places of the island of Ibiza, it has confirmed the validity of two of them.

The first sample collected in Sant Carles de Peralta in October 2014, showed 770 particles from space mainly made up of the Kamacita mineral (95% iron and 5% nickel).

The second sample collected in San Antonio Abad in March 2015, showed 1,226 micrometeorites of a rocky nature specifically, spheres formed by a crystallinerock type which can only be formed in conditions that exist in the absence of gravity.

Micrometeorites usually have a size of between 50 and 500 thousandths of a millimetre, but it is estimated that each year the mass of the Earth increases by 20 tonnes because of this space dust.

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

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Steak ‘n Shake

Page 6

It’s basically bread, beef and a bit of salad, so how is it that the humble hamburger has so many varieties and can either be the snack of the gods or an absolutely minging slab of filth? I think that to fully appreciate the complexities of the modern burger, we need to step back in time and quickly explore the meatalution of the Western World’s favourite snack.

Like with most things, the Americans are insistent that they invented the hamburger way back in the 19th century. Contrary to this assumption, there is evidence from cookbooks and historic writings that Romans, Mongols and Germanic Tribes used to combine beef and bread (with salad) as a ‘fast food’ snack for soldiers on the move. The Mongols even used to cook their meat by placing it under the saddle and cooking with the friction of the ride. But we’ll ignore recorded history like most Americans do and give credit to

the good old U. S. of A. If they didn’t invent it, they have certainly claimed the burger as their own.

The ‘modern’ hamburger, that is a burger not cooked using a galloping horse, has been in force since around 1885 and apparently came into being when an industrious young chap somewhere in the hinterlands put ‘hamburg’ meat (a soft meat patty recipe introduced to the U.S. by German immigrants) between bread as one of his customers was in a rush.

Roughly 50 years later in 1934, and the brilliantly named Gus Belt founded Steak ‘n Shake in Illinois. His concept was to sell the finest burgers and shakes at a time when the hamburger was no longer a snack on the move, but something to be savoured. He even used to wheel in barrels of steaks and grind the meat in front of his customers to prove how ‘prime’ the ingredients were.

Another 80 years on and Steak ‘n Shake is now firmly established throughout America and is currently expanding into Europe, more specifically into Playa d’en Bossa. The ‘joint’ is smack bang in the middle of the party strip consisting of Ushuaia and Space, and is not hard to spot as the big red front looms into view. I wander up to the ordering till and quickly ponder my options. It seems only right that I should order the signature double cheeseburger with a strawberry shake, and the gorgeous manager Vanesa kindly explains to me that the UFO contraption that I have been given will buzz and light up when the food is ready.

The contraption starts bleeping and dancing around the table, along with about five others in the restaurant. I see a game forming in my head, but decide against going down that road and go collect my grub. I start off with the fries, and they are crisp and still have bits of skin on – the sure

sign of a chip with class.

Onto the shake, it’s thick and cold and delicious with whipped cream and layers of crunchy sweet stuff sprinkled on top. My only advice here is to take your time as it’s amazing how quickly your brain can freeze when chugging down an ice cold shake.

And now onto the main star of the show, the burger itself, and it’s what you expect from an institution that’s been doing this for 80 odd years. The meat is soft and dripping with juice, the cheese is even softer and the salad is crisp and fresh. It’s the bun though that wins it for me, both soft and crunchy at the same time. Before I know it I’ve finished and I’m absolutely stuffed. Did people really eat this on the move as a nutritional snack? I’m not sure I can stand-up for at least 10 minutes let alone ride a horse. I’m actually quite content with just digesting the food and digesting the interesting sights of Playa d’en Bossa walking past, and my lordy there are some interesting sights indeed. Actually I might get another shake…

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

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Page 7

Food & Drink

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

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Page 8

Beaches of San José

Part 2, Cala Carbo to Platja de S'Estanyol Nicole Torres

We finished last week’s beaches of San Jose at

Cala de Hort. As you keep following around the south coast towards

the west side of the island, next you will find 13. Cala Carbò

(Coal Beach), included in the Cala d’Hort natural reserve, is a 75 metre

long clear sanded beach, with a couple of restaurants and a shop. It is a

tradition to swim out to the bay’s opening to watch the sunset!

20. Cala Bassa

15.

15. Cala Cala Molí Molí

13. Cala Carbo

14. Cala Vedella

16. Cala Tarida

17. Cala Corral

18. Cala Codolar

19. Platjes de Compte

21. Port des Torrent

22. Platja d'en Xinxó

23. Platja des Pinet

24. Platja d'en Serral

25. Platja de S'Estanyol

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

A bit further north you will find a little bay called 14. Cala Vedella, another of my personal favourites. Surrounded by cliffs, this 250 metre long beach is in a very closed up bay which Key to Beaches

19 18 17

21,22, 23, 24, 25

16

15 14 13

makes its waters very calm, it looks like a huge natural swimming pool!

Next is a small and charming corner of coast, 15. Cala Molí, only 75 metres long, it is a particularly suitable place for families and people who seek tranquillity. It is surrounded by a landscape of pine and conifers, you can have a snack at the bar which has a pool and the cliffs provide magnificent views of the south coast of the island.

16. Cala Tarida is a 300 metre long piece of coast with many little sand beaches separated by big rocks. It has become a highly touristic area, so you will be able to enjoy bars, restaurants and many different water sports – there is a diving centre and you can also rent jet skis.

Next is a real paradise for snorkellers, 17. Cala Corral, (Animal Pen beach) a 75 metre long fishermen’s bay, with very interesting looking fishermen’s huts. The shore is rocky and it is normally very quiet, with only the hut owners and their families at weekends.

Very close is a small 70 metre beautiful bay called 18. Cala Codolar, surrounded by low cliffs and with intense turquoise waters, a perfect place to relax. There is a beach bar and a close by restaurant up a flight of stairs.

Next is may all time favourite beach of the island (if I was forced to choose one) 19.

Platges de Comte, or as it is wrongly, but commonly known, Cala Conta. From this beach the horizon is beautiful,

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you can see the islands of Es Bosc, Sa Conillera, Ses Bledes and S’Espartar. It is really a bunch of little beaches separated by big rock formations all in the same bay: next to the parking area you will find the little fishermen’s beach called Es Racó d’en Xic (Xic’s corner).

There are many bars and restaurants in this area and it is a typical place to watch the sunset.

Driving north you will come to 20. Cala Bassa, a 250 metre long white sand beach, free of buildings, famous for the purity of its crystalline waters and pine forest, juniper and tamarisk that surround it. At the beginning of the beach there is a rocky area that resembles a lunar landscape. You can practice many water sports and it is connected by boat to the port of Sant Antoni.

Next you will come to 21. Port des Torrent (Port of the Stream) is a 100 metre long beach surrounded by hotels and bars. It is one of Ibiza’s most enclosed natural ports so it is a perfect Ibizan style combination between a tourist beach and a fisherman’s bay.

And lastly, as you enter

the bay of Portmany, you come to Cala de Bou (Bull bay) which is made up of a number of beaches: 22. Platja d’en Xinxó, Commonly known as Playa Bella, this busy beach is set in calm waters with plenty of waterports available to hire.

It also houses one of the Island’s favourite sunset bars—Kumharas.

23. Platja des Pinet (Beach of the Small Pine tree), 100 metres long and only 20 wide, Pinet Playa is home to the famous Reggae Bar and it has gently sloping sand into shallow water. Perfect for chilled families.

24. Platja d’en Serral, 85 metres long and manmade, this beach can get very busy as tourists take advantage of the shallow waters.

25.

Platja de S’Estanyol, another 80 metre long.

All these beaches are of a golden coloured sands with various rocky points. You can access all kind of services due to them all being in a highly touristic area and they all offer various types of water sports.

Page 9

ARIES – Ten of25th Swords Thursday Thursday 28th June MaytotoWednesday Wednesday 1st3rd July Emotionally, you’ve had an intense time over the last few ARIESfound - Knight of Cups to contain your feelings; weeks and have it difficult peace offering graciously being offered and good or bad.AHaving hit a brickis wall, you need time to gather youDon't feel that it's timeto toover-analyse bury a hatchet.

Show your thoughts. be tempted situations, understanding andit at caring you are mentally youhow needhonest, rest. It may not seem like the moment will respond positively by meeting you but life is onand the others up. half of way.

Acknowledging that situations could TAURUS – King Swords have been handled better individual in the pastcould is a sign of This week, an interesting and dynamic sweep foritsome, thislike Knight brings you off yourwisdom. feet andRomantically if it’s romance, hits you a tornado! a new admirer!

For ambitious Taurus’, career success and a particular life goal TAURUS Seven of Disks is within your reach. -However, you must remain passionate planted for a Gemini, new lifestyle and focusedYou’ve on your dream.the Airseeds sign men, Libra and all you toor doallies is be patient Aquarius make goodhave lovers this week. while plans are germinating.

GEMINI - Seven of WandsIf you’re the creative type, now is the time towith get acracking on anissue, important project as If you’re struggling life or health take the time to you’ll be inspired to troubling create masterpieces!

For get to the bottom of what’s really you. You’ve had a other more practical confidentwhile to digest your situation andTaureans, are readyyou to can confront your invest in a new will pay off. demons; or lyanyone who hasventure; put youit through a hard time.

GEMINI – The (reversed) This card asks; what do youFool have, a backbone or a wishbone?

Wisdom is knowing what’s right for you. We can CANCER – Five of Cups all offer advice to by others if only we don’t walkpreour Happiness ahead is indicated this but card; if you’re talkanwe’re in danger of being found out.that There’s pared to cross emotional bridge and heal a hurt was anwhat area took in your life in where influenced by place your you’d past - be butwise still to hashave the restraint; to think before acting our and disappointto not fall power to wound.

Remember, it's through back into thatwork no longer serve a higher ments that we're ableold to habits grow and towards transformpurpose. ing life. So, let things go and move on.

- Four of Wands LEO – ThreeCANCER of Swords Time to celebrate the start of a new creative Not the easiest week; you’ll either be caught in the middlecolof laboration.

Thisfind is very much having a team to spirited card stressful situation or will yourself do battle enabling you to get the best people on board any with someone who’s pushing your buttons. Because you’re newbe project. willabe a keygun issue; howevunder pressure, carefulReliability not to have scatter approach er,grievances. this card promises smooth, hassle freebeing dealto airing your Others will not take so kindly withculprits othersofthis For others, home compared toings the real yourweek. displeasure. moves that prove fortunate; you’ll find your VIRGO – Two of Swords dream accommodation.

Recent differences of opinion can now be settled amicably if Cups you and the LEO other- Two partyofcan draw a line under a difficult situacard promises very affectionate, tion. It’s no This weakness to admitayou’re in the wrongcarefree as this time; it's all about feeling the and makes partners or associates open to yourlove sidethis of week the story. happysituations to reciprocate in kind. in Emotionally you’re challenging unsettle you; Equality leading to relationships, whether in business or pleasure are loss of confidence.

However, you’re pleased at outcomes. important now; you’ll expect back what you give LIBRA – Fivetoofothers.

Disks Just a reminder however, the trick to If you’re concerned about money, help arrives in the form of any successful relationship is to give the other an unexpected gift their or rebate. person space.This card represents the Cavalry, coming to your -financial in the nick of time. If you’ve VIRGO Page of aid Wands been generous to others in the your time to be reYou need to listen topast, whatit’s a younger member of warded. As always, your own attitude counts; what you give your family is saying, either verbally or nonin life, you’ll verbally. get back.Pay attention to their wants and needs SCORPIO – The Hermit as they may be going through a sensitive phase It's time to release any extra emotional trauma fromOtherwise, your past and and need encouragement. for to get on with healing mind, soul. Meditathe rest ofyourself; you; news of abody newand business opportion, Tai Chi tunity swimming and yoga will allmake help, you so listen to what or career option will happy! your body needs. are nowPriestess coming to an end of a cycle in LIBRAYou – The High life and it’s important you now some ‘me’ be time.

Trust yourthat intuition thishave week as you’ll guided SAGITTARIUS Seven of Swords to –meet people who will make a huge impact on If you’ve been misunderstood by those who don't get where your life in the months or even years ahead. you’re coming from - you can be resourceful forgiven forand feeling hard You're becoming more independdone by. Think; theothers point continuing withyou certain ent what’s of what say or think; can assonow ciations if they’re but alone bad news.

You’re afeeling bright lonelight stand nothing confidently but without so don't let others pullare youdrawn down.towards Ignore/avoid jealous types; ly. Others you like moths to a they want what you already possess - determination. flame.

CAPRICORNSCORPIO - Three of Cups of Cups - Eight A week to let your hedonistic Youa want and Love returning to take your over. life, or lover fun coming lots of it. The bestEither way to ensure this happens is to spend back? way, someone thinks you're pretty time with those who make you happy.

If you've notup caught up hot stuff.

If your love life has not lived to your with good friends lately, recently; now's thethat’s time to reach This expectations about toout. change. card signalsThis abundant times, financially career week you’ll besocially, examining the valueand of all your wise throughimportant networking opportunities. relationships and finding that there’s AQUARIUS –no King of Disks space for those whose energy doesn’t resoYou have tonate deal with financial matters; accountants, tax with yours. officers or such like and you may have to agree to disagree SAGITTARIUS - Ace of Swords with someone who valuesmaking their opinion the same way Clear decision is a raremuch ability; now howevyou value yours, therefore make situations a power er, you're able todon't cut through any indecisiveness struggle. Make you get yourinfacts straight when discussandsure procrastination others in order to get your ing financialdesired loop wholes.

Taurus result. IfCapricorn, you’re involved in or anyVirgo legal men matprove helpful. ters, you will triumph over opponents. Sporty PISCES – Eight of Wands Scorpio’s make formidable opponents; the cereThis comingbral week proves especially for career protypes excelexciting, in exams.

No one gets the better spects. If you’re looking for something new; a dream job or of you this week! project could land in your lap!ofThis card encourages you to CAPRICORN - Ten Swords aim high where ambitions concerned notthe to undersell You’ve had anareintense timeand over last few your talents.weeks Piscesand canhave get found anxious about how othersyour see it difficult to contain emotions; good bad.

Having them; however, be bold and or have nerves of recently steel. hit a brick wall, you need time to gather your thoughts.

Don't be tempted to over-analyse situations, mentally you need rest. It may not seem like it at the moment but life is on the up.

AQUARIUS - Four of Cups You’ll be tempted to accept situations that are on offer; however, you would be wise to wait for clear direction. Opportunities are coming that will be more to your liking; so hold off making hasty decisions that you'll later regret. This is especially so when it comes to close relationships; are you fully committed or just going along with it?

PISCES – Six of Disks A gift of money or a bonus for good deeds done in the past could be on the way to you. In any case, you’ll be feelingCharles optimistic about Wasn´t your finanDarwin. cial future. If you learn to trust things getting any,that realised hewill turn out OK insteadwas of being damp hairy,athe restsquib cameyou will be surprised at the opportunities easily ... that come your way.

www.theibizan.com

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

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Community View from the Pew

To Be or Not to Be Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We

were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us it's in Everyone!

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others!

Nelson Mandela – Inaugural Speech, 1994 Services: Sun 28th June Santa Eulalia at 10:30am – Holy Communion with Praise and Worship. ICS Holiday Services: Sun 28th at Es Canar RC Chapel at 10:30am and 5:30pm – Informal Praise. Holiday Chaplain: 638373479.

The English-speaking Church on Ibiza and Form Tel. 971 343383

www.ibizachurch.org

It’s Good To Talk Kate Stillman

Dear IbizaCounselling My Partner and I have been together for 3 years.

There is a considerable age gap – he is 14 years older then me and has two children from a previous relationship that are just getting to the point where they can do their own thing.

We are very much in love and get on famously, we laugh and talk about everything and people comment on how “together” we seem, I am thankful and happy to be in such a wonderful relationship.

However, and this is the big thing that gets inbetween us, I have not had any children and at 34 my clock is definitely ticking and it’s getting louder! He is adamant that he doesn’t want a return to nappies and tantrums and is not moving on his stance.

I, on the other hand, had always envisaged a life with a family and just don’t know what to do. Do I wait and hope he changes his mind? Should I think about accepting that I might not have children or should I put my foot down and give him an ultimatum? Please give me some guidance. Thank you. LN. Dear LN Thank you for your e-mail.

It feels as if you are really torn between being in a fantastic relationship that works and trying to ensure you have the future you always wanted.

This is a difficult situation because it feels as if in

many ways there is nothing wrong with your relationship as such, but children are always such a big part of relationships and to have them or not is a huge decision. I can’t and wouldn’t ever give you advice as such on this subject as it has to be an answer that you arrive at yourself and are comfortable living with.

There are however some things to consider. The choice has to be yours and you have to completely take on board what ever that choice is, living with resentment or regrets can be self destructive. So accepting not to have children and resenting it or leaving the relationship to give yourself the opportunity of having children and regretting it are equally as destructive.

It can be easy to remain in a relationship because it feels so good at the moment and will do next

week and next month and even next year but I suppose the question you have to ask yourself is what do you think it might feel like in 20 years? There is a danger of drifting along with out making a decision and then finding that time has passed you bye. I feel it is important to give yourself a time frame by which point you will make a decision, in that way regardless if what that decision is you will no longer be drifting along but will have come to an informed choice about what it is you need for yourself to give yourself what you feel will be a happy future.

Please do keep in touch and let me know how you get on, Warm Regards, Kate.

NB: Please remember our support group continues every Tuesday at 12.30 and will continue through out the summer, it is Free and confidential.

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

www.theibizan.com

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Years and years Claire B words & photos

June 17th saw the opening Wednesday night gig at Ibiza Rocks, in what is its 10th birthday year, with Years & Years and Blonde on the line-up. I arrived at the venue at about 8.45pm to find a massive queue extending up the hill from the venue – a promising sight and a sign that it was going to be a busy night. Bristol duo Blonde were first to take to the stage, complete with full band and two singers as the crowd was arriving and beginning to fill the space in the front of the stage. Both acts on the bill currently have singles in the top 30 of the Official Singles Chart in the UK and the crowd clearly knew and loved them, as the screams, dancing and arms waving in the air testified. The two vocalists worked the crowd and belted out the lyrics over the top of the band’s synth-laden dance and R&B tunes. They ended their set with a rendition of Corona’s ‘Rhythm of the Night’, which had everybody dancing and singing along with them before they left the stage.

Headliners Years & Years won the ‘BBC Sound of 2015’ award, their last single, ‘King’ reached number one in the UK charts and their first album ‘Communion’ is being released next month, so they’re a hot ticket at the moment. The trio from London plus a drummer came onstage just before 11pm, with much screaming from the crowd as singer Olly entered the stage. The screaming continued for much of their performance, especially when Olly took off his sweatshirt, at the request of MTV he informed us who were filming the concert. They wowed the now packed venue with their synthy, electropop, dancey tunes and the crowd loved every minute of it. When Olly wasn’t dancing and pacing around the stage, on the slower songs he sat down and played keyboards whilst he continued to sing. There was no encore, but that was probably because they had played everything in their repertoire. Eventually the crowd dispersed – they wanted more, but it wasn’t to be. However, it was a great pairing of two bands that complemented each other well, and everyone left happy.

There have been a few changes made to the venue for this year, with a new and larger VIP area to the right of the stage, which opens up more of the balcony area on the left, giving great views of the stage from above and creating an area where the press, friends and locals can congregate.

The venue was packed, the atmosphere was electric and both bands put on a great show - it was a great start to the season and Ibiza is truly rocking again!

www.theibizan.com

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

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One Party In The Port Claire B

BE-AT.TV and Ibiza Sonica presents ‘One’, a free party with DJs in the port in Ibiza Town on Saturday June 27th. At the time of going to press the line-up was (in alphabetical order) Guy Gerber, Igor Marijuan, José Padilla, Mathias Tanzmann, Nic Fanciulli and Reboot. Check websites for full details. From 6pm - midnight. More info @

http://www.ibizasonica.com http://www.be-at.tv

HRH Events Claire B

Heart line-up Claire B

New venue Heart Ibiza in the marina in Ibiza Town has just announced its first live entertainment acts for this summer. Heart Ibiza is a creative partnership between Cirque du Soleil and the Adrià brothers that seeks to explore what happens when food, music and art collide. Within the new venue, The Club will see, “a bold fusion of live bands and electronic music”. Their website says: “We felt that Ibiza as an international reference of electronic music, needed an innovative and different musical concept. The club will maintain a supply of live music composed by a selection of artists who arouse the feeling Heart promotes, incorporating legendary bands globally, as well as youth groups, DJs and producers who, today, set the trend and create the forefront.”

Some of the artists announced so far for the 2015 season starting at the end of June include Duran Duran, Damian Lazarus and The Ancient Moons, George Clinton Parliament & Funkadelic, The Orb, Brand New Heavies, Nils Frahm, Sven Väth, Carl Cox, Acid Pauli, Pillowtalk, Guy Gerber.

As yet, no dates or any more information have been announced, so keep an eye on their online sites for details:

http://www.heartibiza.com

The summer season of events gets underway at The Hard Rock Hotel in Playa D’en Bossa this week.

Our very own Nell Shakespeare continues to play a solo acoustic set at The Beach Club every Saturday at 2.30pm.

The new Sunday nights ‘Children of the 80s’ start on June 28th, with Boney M, Corona, Alexia, Robin S on the stage from 7pm. The 80s revival parties will feature four different acts each week and the hotel’s open-air events area will be transformed into a 1980s disco, reminiscent of a time when music defined everything. In between the acts Ibiza La Movida DJs Petit & Vazquez, Sebastian Gamboa and the DJ trio Dream Team Reload will send the crowd on a nostalgic musical journey each week with audio -visual performances featuring hits from the 80s and 90s. Formed in 1995, the DJ trio is made up of Spain’s most popular DJs and producers from the 80s, Toni Peret, Jose Maria Castells and Quique Tejada, who between them have sold more than 30 million albums worldwide. Entry is free for hotel guests, Ibiza residents and those dressed in 80s fancy dress. Tickets cost 25€.

Tuesday afternoons from June 30th sees the weekly Tinie Tempah’s Pool Party, from 1-7pm. It will include performances and DJ sets from the British rapper plus DJ Charlesy each week, as well as special guest performances and DJ sets, playing a soundtrack of the very best chilled house, Hip Hop jams and the hottest EDM tracks of the moment.

Tickets are 15€ for non-hotel guests.

Thursdays see Juan Magam presenting an electro latino night from 7pm with guest DJs each week.

Juan (from Badalona, Spain) is a producer, singer, remixer and DJ of electronic music and is recognised internationally within the genre of ‘Electro Latino’. He has sold 1,000.000 records around the world and as a remixer, has worked with artists such as Nelly Furtado, Don Omar, Pittbul, Bob Sinclair and many others. Tickets are 20€ for non-hotel guests.

See full calendar of events and buy tickets here:

www.hrhibiza.com/events-calendar.aspx

DJ Prick

The level of Spanish vocabulary in The Ibizan offices is fairly high, but there are a number of us - by number, I mean ‘me’ – who is not particularly linguistically gifted. When it comes to certain tricky press releases, I occasionally use a translation tool to speed up things, as you do. Not only does this make life a little easier, but it tends to throw up some absolute corking sentences.

Take this upcoming DJ awards press release with the following sentence:

La organización de los Dj Awards, que cada año premia a los mejores ‘pinchas’ del momento, hizo ayer públicas las nominaciones para sus diez categorías a concurso.

Looks pretty innocent; ‘pinchas’ comes from the verb pinchar which means ‘to prick or sting’ with a needle or something similar. It makes sense then that ‘Pinchas’ is Spanish slang for ‘DJ’. Throw it through a translation program though and you get this:

The organization of Dj Awards, which each year awards the best 'prick' of the moment, made public yesterday nominations for ten competition categories.

With Steve Aoki and David Guetta among the nominees, who are we to argue?

Ocean Beach 3rd Birthday

Who would have thought that just 3 years down the road, Ocean Beach Club would become an Ibiza institution?

This Friday 26th June, they will be celebrating in style with a special edition of the Island's favourite POOL PARTY! Music will be supplied

by Grant Collins, Sam Dungate, Jason Bye, Giuliano A.L. Tom Crane and a special performance from Lovely Laura! Expect the usual array of acrobats, entertainers and shenanigans.

Don’t miss it!

Opening times 12.00h to 00.00h with music starting at 13.00h

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

www.theibizan.com

Page 13

Day Time Believer

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

www.theibizan.com

Page 14

Cream competition Win a Pair of Tickets to Cream Amnesia

Cream Ibiza have given us a pair of tickets for their 2nd July shindig and all you have to do is tell us who will be the headline act in the main room?.

Answer the question to win a pair of tickets to Cream Ibiza Closing Party Thursday 25th

A)

Who is headlining Cream Ibiza on 2nd July?

Paul Van Dyk B) Above & Beyond C) Aly & Fila

Send answers by email headed ‘CREAM COMP’ to editor@theibizasun.com.

Before midnight Sunday 28th June. Winner will be notified and announced online via

the Ibizan facebook page Monday 29th June. Tickets are not transferable. Dress code applies.

See Cream Website for further info on the night and venue.

www.cream.co.uk

Thur 25

Cream Ibiza@Amnesia

The Redlight@Sankeys

Fri 26

3rd Birthday @Ocean Beach

SupermartXé@Privilege Deseo@Pikes

Go go dancers with horse hair helmets is just one of the things you’ll see at this very Now an institution, celebrate Ocean mixed night. The show is mental and the Beach’s 3rd birthday from noon—midnight. music is supplied by Abel The Kid and Alex With Grant Collins, Sam Dungate and Jason Guerrero Bye and lots of acrobats From 30 euros From 25 euros

Kicking off at 19:00, this party is set in beautiful surroundings with varied music supplied by Nigel Atkins, Scott Gray and others.

FREE with guestlist request but make sure that you get it in early. http://www.ibizarockshouse.com/

Sat 27

Ants@Ushuaia

Faux Basement@Eden

Monkey Saturday @Guarana

Sun 28

Solomun+1@Pacha

Wax Da Jam@Las Dalias Children of the 80s What can we say about this one. If you’ve heard of Daddy G (Massive Attack) and @Hard Rock

Mon 29

Cocoon@Amnesia

Rave Behaviour @Es Paradis

Hot Hits@KM5

Tue 30

Hardwell’s Carnival @Ushuaia

Flower Power@Pacha

Tinie Tempah Pool Party@Hard Rock

Wed 1

Jungle@Ibiza Rocks

A Planet Called Paradise@DC 10

Ibiza Rocks After Party@Ibiza Rocks Bar

Thur 2

Enter@Space

Luciano & Friends @Destino

F*ck Me I’m Famous Pre Party@Mambo

Amnesia’s longest running night continues with Paul Van Dyk, Aly & Fila in the main room and Danny Howard on the terrace.

From 40 euros

Daytime fun from 15:00—midnight, this was one of the Island’s busiest nights last year. I’m fed up with the stickers everywhere, but I’m a moany old git. With Andrea Oliva and Hot Since 82 From 35 euros

This guy is on fire at the moment playing funky ass grooves that don’t go over a certain speed. Joining Solomun is the fabulous Miss Kitten From 48 euros

Things get funky in Playa d’en Bossa as garage legend DJ EZ graces the decks supported by house legend S-Man (Roger Sanchez) From 35 euros

BYOB@Backyard

San Antonio’s Backyard are trying something new with a ‘Bring Your Bottle’ night. Entry is just 5 euros and you can bring all the drink you wish. I can foresee lots of amusing dancing to the resident DJs.

Deep, hard and minimal. We not talking about Ross Kemp, but Faux Basement with If in Sant Eularia and needing a party, this is Louis Boardman, Tom Novy and Dermot C pretty much the best choice from 20:00—06:00 From 20 euros with earlybird ticket With Vaughan, Little Ralf FREE

Nightmares On Wax (live) then no need to It’s from 19:00—midnight. It’s all about the 80s read further. If you haven’t and like it and it’s got Boney M, Corona and Robin S..

FREE with 80s fancy dress chilled head here from 21:00—05:00 From 20 euros

What a line-up of bonafide legends. With 20:00—04:00 Sven Vath playing all night on the terrace With Joan Vidal playing 80s hits and Carl Craig with Josh Wink in the main Oi Oi!! Back to the old skool with Rat Pack, FREE Slipmatt and Rob Tissera reliving the early room.

90s.

From 46 euros From 25 euros This has been going for decades as has Piti who supplies the tunes in the main room.

This promises to be something special with Think pop hippy. Sebastian Gamboa and He’s tiny and he has a temper. See him shout at a myriad of entertainers employed and Angel Linde beef it up a bit elsewhere. people much taller than him between 13:00— tons of props. No real idea of what to ex- From 48 euros 19:00 pect but it will be special. 17:00—midnight.

FREE From 50 euros This is a ridiculously good band and they’re great live. Catch them at the Ibiza Rocks hotel from 20:00, ably supported by Shura DC 10 has long been regarded as one of the coolest venues on the Island and the From 40 euros line-up backs this to the hilt. With Jamie Jones, Maya Jane Coles and Mathew Jonson (live)

As soon as Jungle stop playing, head on down to the Ibiza Rocks Bar for the official after party. You never know, the band may even make an appearance.

FREE

Kicking off at 19:00, this iconic venue hosts Richie Hawtin and Guy Gerber B2B with Swanky daytime shenanigans in Talamanca Kicking off at 22:00, a better place than any to Matthew Dear from 16:00—23:30 with Luciano & Friends combine sunset and some of the world’s bigFrom 50 euros From 30 euros gest DJs and all for gratis.

FREE

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

www.theibizan.com

Page 15

Language & Culture Why do the Spanish “shit in the sea”?

New book explores the origins of puzzling Spanish idioms that sound shocking to outsiders

Spaniards use them on a daily basis, but often don’t know the first thing about their origins. They get angry and exclaim “me cago en la mar” (I shit in the sea), they do something clumsy and exclaim “llevo una torrija encima” (I’m walking around with a fried slice of milk-soaked bread on my head.)

They even say things like “pollas en vinagre,” which is particularly difficult to explain to a foreigner, as it could be translated as pickled dicks.

The average Spanish speaker from the Iberian peninsula may not stop to reflect on some of the expressions that come out of his or her mouth, but to other people, some of these idioms can be truly shocking.

This is precisely what happened 10 years ago to Héloïse Guerrier, who graduated in Hispanic studies in Paris, moved to Spain, and now co-runs a comic book publishing house called Astiberri.

“I was fascinated by those phrases, which, taken out of their original context, or to the ears of a foreigner, sound

A buenas horas, mangas verdes: green sleeves in good time

so very outlandish. They really knocked me out,” she recalls.

So she decided to explore their origins and put her findings down in a book, with illustrations by David Sánchez, an author of comic books.

“When you stop to think carefully about the words that make up these idioms, you realize there is a major leap from the literal meaning to the figurative meaning, and that’s where it gets funny,” she says.

That was the genesis for Con dos huevos (or, With two eggs), a hard-to-classify book that combines etymological curiosities with hilarious images depicting some of the absurd situations created by Spain’s popular language.

Con dos huevos did not manage to cover it all, however.

“Since a lot of expressions were left out, we decided to put together a second collection of uproarious expressions, Cagando leches [Shitting milks)].”

“My goal was to be very literal,” explains David Sánchez, whose illustrations add greatly to the hilarity. “I tried not be deliberately funny or draw caricatures, although it’s true that the tone of the illustrations is rather humorous.”

What makes these expressions different from those of other countries? Do Spaniards use a more obscene language than the French or the English, for instance? The short answer is: yes.

“Every language has its ready-made expressions,” explains Héloïse. “There’s the It’s raining cats and dogs’ in English and the construire des châteaux en Espagne’ [building castles in Spain] in French, but it seems to me that colloquial expressions in Spanish are rather more crude and forceful.”

Another fact that caught her attention, she notes, was that “quite a few expressions have to do with scatology, food and religion. I think that popular colloquial expressions say a lot about a culture, its taboos and its obsessions.”

Think about that next time you talk about “hostias como panes” (“consecrated wafers the size of bread loaves”) or “cágate, lorito” (take a dump, little parrot).

Another good thing about Cagando leches is the way it

Tirar la casa por la ventana: to throw your house out the window

shows how the Spanish language naturally creates weird and twisted images.

“I was struck by the surrealist, almost unsettling side of some idioms, if you take them literally,” says the author.

Tirar la casa por la ventana: to throw your house out the window?

We are talking about expressions like “tener los cojones de corbata” (to wear your balls as a necktie) or the above -mentioned “pollas en vinagre,” which is one of Guerrier’s favorites.

“It’s true it sounds quite bad, but the truth is, it has nothing to do with male genitals!” she reveals. The “pollas” in question are actually a type of bird also known as “gallineta,” which is pickled in some parts of Spain.

But even they ran into the odd expression that was impossible to convey in images, such as “No tengo el chichi para farolillos,” a phrase that was coined by television screenwriters and which roughly means “this is the wrong moment for that,” but literally says “my pussy is not in the mood for Chinese lanterns.”

“The truth is, I couldn't see a convincing way to illustrate this, despite going over and over it because it was an expression that Héloïse wanted to include in the book,” says David Sánchez.

Mojar el churro: to wet your dick

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

www.theibizan.com

Page 16

Ibiza for under €25 a day Eat, Drink, Sleep & Party in Ibiza for under 25€ a Day! Can the Ibizan achieve the impossible?

Nick Gibbs

The Kindle would make my personal top 5 for both most loved gadget and greatest gifts received. Though I still love the tactile aspect of owning a book, the pure convenience and months between battery recharge of the slim original just-for-reading Kindles made me an immediate convert and increased my reading volume hugely almost overnight.

For all its benefits the downside of the ebook revolution and self publishing access it affords, is a very questionable quality standard—tomes being offered for sale that would have had a hope of gaining a publisher’s advance to put them into print production.

My experience of this quality spectrum has certainly been evident from searching the term ’Ibiza’ in the Amazon store. Probably the worst, not just for an Ibiza book but worst book purchase of any type I have ever made, and that even takes into account its modest 67pence price tag, is the claimed to be ‘Budget Travel Guide—How to Enjoy Ibiza for Less Than 10 Euros a Day’ by Jason and Lisa Taylor.

Not withstanding how they managed to cram as many factual and cultural errors into its 32 a5 pages, errors such as ’the Ibiza temperature remains pretty well unchanged from January all through the year to December’, nor their lack of shame at filling the remaining texts with information of such pointless and blindingly obvious content as would have a five year old feeling patronised, no the aspect of their work leaves that 67pence as the most begrudged I have ever spent is that at no time in any way did they demonstrate how you could even survive on less than 10euros a day, let alone enjoy life. The sums simply don’t add up, with their ‘best value’ menu costing 6.50 for pizza, chips and a glass of while, the remaining 23 plus hours looks a pretty bleak prospect. Of course a visitor could not have a tourist life for under 10 euros, but what would be the least you could spend from dawn til dusk and beyond?

Ibiza’s media reputation for outrageous pricing may be exaggerated to some extent, but there is no doubt that even without media self-interest inflation it remains a very expensive place to enjoy yourself.

We gave ourselves a target of 25 euros, bold by anybody’s standards, particularly remembering that we would not be taking advantage of any locals perks or mates rates. These would be full public prices, and under our own rules we would have to eat out for breakfast, lunch and dinner, include drinks and a big party, and get some accommodation. Impossible? Let us begin, it is a Thursday in June

Breakfast @ the Fish.

The Fish on San An’s c/ Vara del Rey have obtained some notable mentions in dispatches as the bar offering a 1euro breakfast of a sausage, beans and toast (to which those without our financial constraints could add all manner of upgrades) but given the nature of our project we have to be slightly party pooperish in renaming it the 2.50 breakfast as there is a requirement to buy a drink and the cheapest on the menu is 1.50. Hey at 2.50 it is still a great deal but one you might not have to travel that far to match. Many of the local backstreet Spanish bars will have café and tostada in various guises for about the same money. That said the Fish does have another big appeal in providing lots of essential insider info/ tips we are bound to find useful during the day.

to

meet

our host for the room we booked at a cost of just 7euros. There are rooms available throughout the summer from just 6euros. Our 7 euro room requires a hitch over to Cala Llonga later, but we’ve plenty of play time before then.

Spent 7.00 Remaining 15.50

Spent 2.50 Remaining 22.50 Funds are getting low. Time to rein in this extravagant lifestyle and tighten the purse

Booking Accommodation

May as well stay to take advantage of the free wifi whilst repressing the guilt for having been nursing this drink for so long., but our job today is unlikely to make us many friends in the business community, least of which the Island’s hoteliers who won’t like our going directly to the Airbnb website and sliding that scale way on down to the left and finding the cheapest of the cheap. Now we don’t recommend leaving your booking until the day required as it will obviously have an effect on availability/pricing, a same day booking today would cost us the princely sum of 11euros, but we just need to confirm where and when

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

strings—on second thoughts to hell with it, we’re on holiday and fancy a 3 course lunch.

Menu @ Restaurante Perejil.

You don’t need to tell the locals how good some of the menu deals in Ibiza are but we think this one takes the prize for don’t know how they do it-ness.

6.50 gets you a free all you can eat self service buffet choosing from around 30 cold plates. Next comes the house main dish of the day, today it is home made vegetable lasagne. Beer wine or soft drink is included, but then what really amazed was the desert. Whenever a menu is trimmed to the bone the postre suffers most. We expected a dollop of more-ice-than-cream or some such.

Instead we get a big slice of home made apple strudel and proper Italian artisan ice cream. I mean come on, 6.50?

Nuts. Perejil opened in February. The owners are Ayscya and Luca. The 6.50 menu is from noon to around 5pm, Monday to Friday (or that might be Saturday).

Spent 6.50 Remaining 9.00

www.theibizan.com

Page 17

BYO Party @ Backyard

A man of many ideas, and some would say ideas of such a range in quality only equalled by kindle self publishing.

Well there is no doubt that on this occasion Rick Bargiel has excelled with a stroke of genius in teaming up with Jose Tulip at Backyard to stage what are as far as we know Ibiza’s first bring your own booze parties.

Early doors arrivals are being offered 5euro admittance which includes a bite to eat, leaving us a whole 4euros to get along to the supermarket and stock up.

Spent 5.00 Remaining 4.00

Though again negative for the independent shops of Ibiza, something many of us

value over the huge euro super-chains, today is not the day for soapboxes and so we gladly accept what we think is the best afternoon refresher, the much underrated Spanish cider. Even main brands as that shown are only a couple of euros, but you’ll get own brands for 99c a 70cl bottle, and it packs enough punch to put a smile on our faces, with sufficient quantity to get us through to dusk, and with some care and attention, quite a way beyond.

Spent 3.96 Remaining 0.04 Job done, now, what can we get for 4 cents?

We’ve cash on our hip, money to burn, I wonder if ...

Well that’s it then, we’ve blown it, failed, our gluttony was our downfall, it would have been nigh on impossible to go partying in Ibiza with our original 25euros, but with 9 left. It can’t be done. Or can it?

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

Shebiza

www.theibizan.com

Page 18

Hi guys and welcome to another weekend and another Zips It Up. I am Ibiza bound for a weekend of birthday celebrations. But as we touch down in Ibiza and hit the beach, I won’t be leaving my fashion blogging eye behind in the UK office. I’ve packed my camera, notebook and pen to observe what is happening on the beaches of the white isle. I'm particularly interested in what the boys will be parading around in, and before you assume the obvious, this is purely for professional research I assure you! I have covered swimwear for girls, now it's time to subdivide the men and boys on the beach into the Trunk Tribes.

The Mipster: Beard, manbag, paunch - the middle-aged hipster and his goto beachwear - the patterned board shorts. A distraction from the beer belly attempting to say "I've still got it".

High-End Honey: The fashion-forward dude wearing an explosion of luxury labels all colliding on the sand.

The Player: "Hello Ladies, fancy a ride on the

banana boat?" Worn by the Magaluf masses, these shorts have a handy tangerine bag inside to keep their tackle in place, and a drawstring to prevent any 'flashing'.

The Average Dad Once a year he braves the beach for his kids. A pair a couple of inches shorter would

make his legs appear longer and torso slimmer. But he’s not particularly bothered as he's been wearing them for the last 10 years and throws them to the back of the wardrobe after each

summer.

The Mammock: These don't leave much to the imagination. Think TOWIE. The

Man-Hammock wearer is thinking about his perfect tan but can only be worn by the snakehipped and gym-honed.

It’ll be an interesting weekend…

I'll keep you updated on my findings.

Onto this week's blog and we check out 'Tennis fashion', as Wimbledon fortnight kicks off.

Plus, how mirrored sunnies are THE face fashion of Summer 2015 It's all there.

Grab that bowl of strawberries and cream with a glass of Prosecco and enjoy this week's Amanda Zips It Up. X Read Amanda’s fashion blog at

http://amandazipsitup.com/

Mirrored Sunnies and Red Lips

For summer 2015, whether you’re heading off to some important meeting, having a fun day out in the sun, going to an event or hitting the beach, this look says it all: confident, chic, sartorially savvy and not taking herself too seriously. Just having fun.

Nothing beams 2015 cool like a cool pair of mirrored sunglasses, which have been IN for some time but have never before made such a huge statement. So what is it about them that has women of all ages and styles so smitten?

They’re shiny and they go with anything, supplying a certain youthfulness and coolness to boot. A bit of rave/funky/90’s disco-dancing queen meets boho chic Ibiza chick. And the same pair of shades can look equally hot on a professional stylish woman.

Any shape works fabulously: aviators, wayfarers, round, cateyed, all of them. In any colour: blue, green, red, pink, brown, yellow, grey. When you wear them on a daily basis, they’re your tiny fashion razzmatazz. If you wear them in summer, at the beach, it’s an explosion of senses: the bright shades, the colourful mismatch of the sunnies with your swimsuit, the mirrors’ glance against your sun-kissed skin.

Now… picture that daytime mirrored sunglasses look with RED LIPS. This is my favourite look right now, and the best thing about it is that it goes for anytime, with anything, and delves into both of my fave worlds: fashion AND beauty.

For the ultimate, add a white summer dress, or a chiffon floaty shirt with cut-offs styled with a pair of mirrored sunnies and red. It’s stylish, slightly glam, but shoe choice can dress it up or down. Who’s to blame for this look, that I now proclaim the ultimate look of 2015 summer?

Khloe Kardashian. (yeah, yeah, yeah, roll your eyes all you want). She has got this look down to fine art.

Court No.1 Court No.2: Jumper, £49, La Redoute (0844 842 2222, laredoute.co.uk)

Grand slam Girls

It's Summer. It's almost July. It's the dreary Uk and strawberry deliveries are swamping South West London.

Anyone for Tennis? It's Wimbledon! For the next fortnight it's all about Venus, Serena, Murray, Djokovic, the weather, sweat bands, grunting and Robinsons Barley Water.

Here's a little guide on how to get the Centre Court look.

Court No.1: Dress, £29.99, H&M (0344 736 9000, hm.co.uk) Tank top, £39.99, H&M Dress, £155, Juicy Couture (juicycouture.com)

Court No. 2

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

www.theibizan.com

Page 19

Bag, £45, Dune (0333 240 7306, dunelondon.com) Straw hat, £16 (product code: 4XEPR), Very (0844 822 2321, very.co.uk) Centre Court Skirt, £49.50, Marks & Spencer (0333 014 8000, marksandspencer.com) Polo shirt, £29.99, F&F at Tesco (0800 323 4070, clothingattesco.com) Centre Court

Find Your Swimwear Style Sophia V. Sometimes going shopping for swimwear isn’t as easy as grabbing the first thing you see on the rack. And sometimes stripping off on a packed beach or pool can be daunting for some. It doesn’t have to be this way, if you find the style of swimwear that suits you, and flatters your frame. What suits one person may not necessarily suit another, and women do come in all different shapes and sizes. Despair not, as I will list all the different types of swimwear to get you glowing on the beach, and embracing your body.

Bustier bikini sets are great for those who don’t feel that the stomach area is their most flattering body part. And perhaps they want to enhance their bust. Either way, bustier sets look sexy, and so 70’s, especially if you wear polka dot. Although black is one of my favourite colours, and creates the slimming affect.

You can even get two-piece swimwear in the form of vests, and shorts, which look just as good.

If you have a small bust, bikini tops with a lot of detail will draw to this area - anything with patterns, frills, accessories. Horizontal and vertical stripes create the illusion of a fuller bust, as do

the bottoms, for a fuller behind, Kim K style. Swimwear can also come padded, to give you that extra lift. Polka dot, floral, patterned, and bright, are best.

If you have a big bust, plain bikinis will draw less attention to this area. Again, padded or under-wired bikini tops can give you the support you need. Tankini’s are great for not exposing any cleavage. And so are costumes, or high neck two pieces. If however you want to flaunt what God gave you, and get that bust on show, halter neck tops will do this.

Athletic body shapes should opt for more girly glamorous looking bikinis, pretty bright colours, and frills. Halter neck tops also balance out wide shoulders. You can even accessorise your swimwear with a necklace, wrist or ankle bracelet to give you that more feminine look.

If you’re pear-shaped, aim for detailed tops, and plain bottoms.

You want to draw attention to your top half, rather than your bottom area. Again, you can find swimwear like this in the form of: bikini’s, swimming costumes, and bustier sets. You can also buy sculptured swimwear, which does pretty much the same as spanx, pressing in the right areas, and high-waisted bikini bottoms.

When looking for swimwear, just do what you’d do when searching for a dress. Find something that will highlight the best parts of your body, and decrease attention to your least favourite parts.

There is so much selection when it comes to swimwear today, whether you’re browsing the shops, or buying online.

And don’t forget, you also have a choice of sarongs, kimono’s, tunic’s, oversized vests, light fringed cardigans and more for

Eivissa Clothing extra coverage.

And one last tip, make sure you check the tags, and don’t get swimwear mixed up with bathing wear like me, and ruin your bikini’s in the water!

Eivissa Clothing

A friend of mine, Tia Harris, has recently started her own bikini business, with a gorgeous selection of beach wear. Having been on the island for quite a while now, she has an eye for what looks good, and what has been trending over the seasons.

Eivissa Clothing offers stunning low-neck costumes, in a variety of colours, and also some sexier transparent ones. The costumes come in many different styles, colours and patterns.

There are halter neck bikini sets, and two pieces, again some transparent, and some with cut-out sides.

The swimwear is unique, and very glamorous, perfect for those wanting an afternoon at Ocean Beach, Nikki Beach, or Blue Marlin. Not that they need anything extra, but if you want to up the glam, pretty accessories such as chunky necklaces, wrist or ankle bracelets, will look perfect with these.

All swimwear is at a brilliant price, all at only thirty euros, and available on the links below: www.facebook.com/eivissaclothing

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

www.theibizan.com

Page 20

Sport Jezza’s Sports Report ...

Jeremy Parmenter Hi, there Sports fans, and this week, we have just got to start with Cricket and OMG, for the first time for a very long time, I have the pleasure, nay, the privilege, of announcing an ODI Series win for England. Yes, you read that correctly, and I know it's a shock but 'tis true, really! England have actually won the series recently played against New Zealand and having been 21 down with 2 to play, Morgan's boys, as I hoped, came back to win the last two matches last week to win their first ODI series on home soil for some time.

Not only did they win it, but this new-look side, full of energy and youth, played a brand of cricket not seen in England since 2005 to wrestle the series away from the Kiwis. In the penultimate game, at 2-1 down, the Red Rose overhauled NZ's total

Murray eyes up another Wimbledon title

to win by 7 wickets, scoring an incredible 350/3 led by masterful centuries from skipper Morgan and Root to tie the series at 2 apiece and then at Durham on Friday, kept the Kiwis down to a gettable 283. However, the weather intervened but fortunately dissipated, leaving England to score 192 in 26 overs under the D/L method. All looked lost when England collapsed to 45/5 but then Bairstow, only called in at the last minute due to an injury to first-choice wickie Buttler, ably supported by Billings and Rashid, proceeded to right the ship scoring 83 not out and winning the match by 3 wickets with an over to spare. Brilliant and for ECB chief exec Andrew Strauss, redemption and proof that he was absolutely right in discarding KP and putting his faith in a revamped team, who showed fight, character and talent in a record-breaking series. All credit tho' to McCallum and his NZ team who played brilliantly throughout and actually showed England the way forward. So, onwards and upwards and on to the Ashes agin Old Enemy Australia with the First Test starting on July 7.

Golf and Rory MAC definitely now has a serious contender for his World No 1 status as American Jordan Spieth

won his 2nd Major, the US Open in Seattle, on Sunday to add to his first Major earlier this year and complete back-to-back Major wins. Now World No 2 and only two average ranking points behind McIlroy, Spieth won the title by a shot from compatriot Dustin Johnson, despite a horrific double-bogey at the 17th in the final round, as Johnson 3-putted the final hole when odds-on to win.

Some consolation for Rory came in the final round as he stormed up the leaderboard with a brilliant 66 but still only ended up on par for the 4 rounds, some 5 shots off the pace and 9th overall.

Tennis and Congrats to Andy Murray who won his 4th Queens title, defeating bigserving South African Kevin Anderson in the final in straight sets. Considering that his semi was called off at 3-3 in the first set on Saturday due to the weather, his achievement was even more creditable, as he had to finish the semi on Sunday morning, have a 2 hour rest and then come back on court for the Final.

Great practice for Wimbledon starting next week and proof that Murray deserves his World No 3 spot.

However, beware the Fed, as the great Swiss meister

Wales storm ahead and Ronney scores, at last, in the Euro qualifiers Danny Ings at the Sweden game also warmed up for Wimbledon as he won the ATP Halle Open in Germany, beating Italian Andrea Seppi in straight sets in the final and completing his 8th Halle title in only 10 starts.

Meanwhile, good to see Brit Laura Robson, the former British No 1, back on court at Eastbourne, after injury forced her off court in the Australian Open in January 2014 and, despite a heavy defeat, at least she will appear at Wimbledon next week by dint of a wild card, together with fellow Brits Naomi Broady and Johanna Konta.

Horse Racing and great to see regular Ibiza visitor Frankie Dettori back in the winners enclosure as he closed out Ascot week with a win in the Diamond Jubilee Stakes aboard Undrafted to cap a fine week with 3 winners and his 50th overall winner at Ascot, to add to his great wins in the Derby and the French Oaks earlier this season.

Rugby League After recently losing top spot in Super League, Leeds came back to form winning 32-20 at home to Hull to reclaim the leadership, as St Helens lost narrowly at Castleford, but Wigan in 3rd kept up the pressure, winning yet again, this time at home to Salford.

Cycling Pre Tour de France and commiserations to Sky rider Geraint Thomas as he was pipped to the post in the final time trial by Slovenia's Spilak to come second overall in the Tour of Switzerland but a good work out for the Big One. Football Yes, it's still going on and at the European U-21 Championships in the Czech Republic, England beat Sweden 10 with an 85th minute winner to keep their hopes of qualification for the knockout stages alive and now need to win or draw against Italy. Amazingly, considering their heritage, this was

England's first win in an U21 European tournament since 2009 but let's hope they do the biz against the Italians on Wednesday to go through. Meanwhile, at the Women's World Cup in Canada, England did what they had to do to reach the knockout stages as they beat Colombia 2-1 to come 2nd in their Group and now face Norway in the last 16 later today (Monday) so good luck to them and let's hope they keep the home flag flying.

Finally, on the domestic front, bad news for Chelsea fans as it looks as if legend Petr Cech is on his way to, OMG, Arsenal and to use a well known phrase from TV, “I don't believe it!” Still, at least the Gunners will, at last, have a decent goalie, now all they need is another 5 decent players!!!

On that note, 'tis all for now. Jezza

www.theibizan.com

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

Austrian Grand Prix Rosberg closes gap to 10 as Austria witness a German master race

Nico Rosberg took victory in the Austrian Grand Prix to close the gap on Mercedes team-mate Lewis Hamilton's lead in the World Championship.

Rosberg passed Hamilton with a stunning start and controlled the race to the end.

Hamilton's attempt to re-pass on lap one was thwarted by the safety car, triggered by a heavy crash between Ferrari's Kimi Raikkonen and McLaren's Fernando Alonso.

The McLaren ended up on top of the Ferrari, but both drivers were unhurt.

Alonso, who had slid along the top of the barrier before the cars came to a halt, described the incident as "scary".

The crash, which appeared to be caused by Raikkonen losing control of his car under power while Alonso was alongside on his outside, was

investigated by stewards after the race, but no further action was taken.

When the race re-started, Hamilton tracked Rosberg to their only pit stops.

He rejoined still in second but incurred a five-second penalty for edging over the white line which separates the pit exit from the race track effectively putting the race out of his reach shortly after half distance.

Rosberg's third victory of the season reduces his deficit to Hamilton to 10 points, after the world champion extended it by winning the previous race in Canada.

Mercedes had expected a challenge from Ferrari, but the apparent

advantage in pace the Italian cars had in practice had evaporated and Rosberg and Hamilton left Sebastian Vettel well behind during the first part of the race.

Behind the dominant front two, the race was entertaining, packed with incident and featured plenty of overtaking moves as drivers battled for position.

Vettel was comfortably clear of Felipe Massa's Williams but lost third place because of a problem fitting his right rear wheel at his pit stop.

That promoted Massa into third

crash between Ferrari's Kimi Raikkonen and McLaren's Fernando Alonso.

Page 21

Driver

Team

Grid

Points

1 Nico Rosberg

Mercedes

2

25

2 Lewis Hamilton

Mercedes

1

18

3 Felipe Massa

Williams

4

15

4 Sebastian Vettel

Ferrari

3

12

5 Valteri Bottas

Williams

6

10

place, with a four-second lead over the Ferrari with 34 laps to go.

Vettel edged closer at a 10th of a second or so a lap and was on the Brazilian's tail with 10 to go, but Massa drove with calmness and maturity to hold off the fourtime world champion.

Felipe Massa took the 40th podium of his career after holding off Vettel in the latter stages Felipe Massa took the 40th podium of his career after holding off Vettel in the latter stages Behind them, Massa's teammate Valtteri Bottas won a battle with Force India's Nico Hulkenberg for fifth that lasted for half the race.

Lotus's Pastor Maldonado took seventh, passing Toro Rosso's Max Verstappen after a wild moment on the pit straight with two laps to go.

Maldonado jinked to the outside of the Dutchman as he attempted to line up a passing move but the car got into a frantic side-to-side snap, the Venezuelan just managing to hold on.

Verstappen then ran off the track on the exit of Turn One, gifting the place to Maldonado on a disappointing afternoon for Red Bull on the track they own.

Daniel Ricciardo was the leading finisher for the main Red Bull team in 10th place, behind Force India's Sergio Perez.

Above: Race Top Five Below: Championship Standings, will the race and championship top two still be hugging at the end of the season?

Next Race: British Grand Prix, Silverstone, 3rd-5th July

1 Lewis Hamilton

Mercedes

169

2 Nico Rosberg

Mercedes

159

3 Sebastian Vettel

Ferrari

120

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

www.theibizan.com

Page 22

The Guide ...

Transport

Trades

Insurance

Information Crime.

Contact the Policia Nacional in English Tel 902 102 112

Animals

Pharmacies.

For Details Including Out Of Hours www.COFIB.es

Medical Centres.

Animals

Employment

Information & Online appointments http://bit.ly/ ibizandoctor

ITV

To Book A Vehicle For An ITV Online http://bit.ly/ibizanitv

Directory Emergencies Fire Local Police Guardia Civil (Police) Ib-Salud British Consulate

112 092 091 061 902109356

Police Guardia Civil Eivissa Guardia Civil San Antonio Guardia Civil Sta. Eularia Guardia Civil San Joan Local Police Sta. Eulalia Local Police San Jose Local Police San Antonio

971301100 971340502 971330227 971333005 971330841 971800261 971340830

Medical Alcoholics Anonymous Narcotics Anonymous Homeless Shelter Doctor Nurse (ATS) Home Visit Ambulances Rosario Clinic Del Mar Red Cross Clinic Can Misses Hospital

616088883 902114147 971190966 971399977 971399977 971301916 971191212 971397000

Transport Airport (information) Iberia/Air Nostrum Air Europa Ryanair Easyjet British Airways Norwegian Airways Transmediterranea Balearia Mediterranea Pitiusa

971809000 902400500 902401501 +44 8712460011 11899 902111333 902484080 902454645 902160180 971322443

Services Locum Chaplain Teatro Espa単a (English Cinema) Motor Vehicle ITV (MOT) Aqualia (breakdowns) Aqualia (customer care) Endesa (customer care) Endesa (electrical breakdowns)

971343383 971332519 971195906 902136013 902186018 902530053 902534902

Town Halls Consell Insular Ibiza Town Hall San Antonio Town Hall Santa Eulalia Town Hall San Jose Town Hall San Juan Town Hall

Classifieds

Taxis

Items for Sale

B&Q shower enclosure new in box with base and waste fitting @200 euros. 4 man inflatable dingy used once as new with pump oars and bag 250 euros.

Tel 00447967353761 ask for Tony

Wanted semi rigid inflatable boat.

6 - 6.5 metres with trailer. Francisco 609 677 904

971195900 971397500 971340111 971332800 971800125 971333003

Tel 971 348 271 Mob (Eng) 638 923 119 Mov (Esp) 633 310 527 www.theibizan.com editor@theibizasun.com Editor: Nicholas Gibbs

Taxi Stop San Antonio Airport Taxi Stop Radio Taxi Ibiza Radio Taxi San Antonio Taxi Santa Eulalia/San Juan

971340074 971800080 971398483 971343764 971333333

Formentera Town Hall Medical Centre Guardia Civil Municipal Police Taxis

971322034 971322369 971322022 971322201 971322016

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

www.theibizan.com

Page 23

Hardware VPNs

Access your Sky TV On Demand and Box Set Services.

Provide UK ‘cloak’ to all of your technology with one simple and economical solution.

VPNs, or by their full name Virtual Private Networks, were initially conceived as a technology allowing companies with remote offices and field staff the advantages of working on their technology systems as if they were all actually based in the same physical location.

Despite this heavyweight origin, many people particularly in the ex-pat community, know of the VPN as the way they can ’cheat’ the internet into thinking they are online in the U.K. and thereby gain access to services such as the BBC iPlayer, and retain the comfort zone familiarity of Google searches defaulting to UK English etc.

There are various methods of obtaining a VPN, and also one or two other similar technologies that achieve the same result.

Software VPN. For many people the software VPN is the default choice, and often branded as ‘Ex-Pat TV Access’, it is fair to guess that many users are blissfully ignorant as to the tech behind their daily dose of UK soaps.

These VPNs

have to be installed on each device, e.g. laptop, P.C., Tablet or phone. A good tip here is to try a few before you commit. VPNs have a slow down effect on internet which, combined with the often slow speeds in Ibiza, can make live streaming of TV impossible, defeating one of the main benefits.

The amount of slow down varies hugely, and our advice is to avoid the free VPNs if possible. They are often advert and spyware ridden and can quickly cripple previously healthy systems.

Hardware VPN. A better solution, certainly for a settled household with several devices all connecting to the net, is to add a hardware VPN router. This has several advantages, perhaps the biggest of which is for Sky TV viewers. In recent years Sky have put more and more of their channel and viewing options under on demand services that require the Sky box to be connected to the net. Plus it in to your Spanish internet and you are telling Sky you are using their service illegally (the world of ex -pat VPNs is not one for those who would be unable to sleep nights in the knowledge they are breaking the law). Unlike laptops etc. there is

no way of setting up a software VPN on your Sky box, but the VPN router does exactly that—as shown on the infographic sitting between your regular router and everything you use to connect.

Martin at Satellite Solutions offers a hardware VPN router for 220€ which includes the 100€ annual subscription. Given that decent software VPNs cost in the region of 100€ per year, any home with multiple gadgets using VPNs will also find the box saves them money too.

Chances are that however simple an infographic we use (and we do think this is a particularly clear one), and as non-techy as we try to explain it, there

will still be some readers saying “yes, brilliant, we want our Sky box sets, but have no idea what you are talking about you sad geeky man, just tell me who to pay and what button to press.”

Fear not, as for all those happy to think VPN is something to do with girls wearing snug skirts, Martin will come out and install the box for what we thought was a very modest extra 30€. We

think he deserves a cup of tea too at that price.

All that remains is to apologise to our technophobe readers— we could have told you Martin would come do it all for you at the start and avoided you having to read this whole boring article, but if we

did that, when would you ever learn?

Next week; Skyping for grandparents, we ask is witchcraft involved?

For Supply only, or supply and fit, contact Martin at Satellite Solutions—see advert below.

The Ibizan, Thursday 25th June 2015, Issue 789

www.theibizan.com

Back Row The Trouble With Spies PG, 91 min, 4 December 1987 Action, Adventure, Comedy : Link at IMDB: http://imdb.to/1e0lj06 Plot Appleton Porter (Donald Sutherland) is an inept international secret agent sent by the U.S. to the island of Ibiza in this uneven spy comedy. His mission is to secure the secret recipe for a truth serum to use on enemy agents. Appleton miraculously avoids being killed on several occasions as suspicions point to various hotel guests. Hotel owner Mona Smith (Lucy Gutter-

Page 24

Pitiuses at the Pictures A series in which we look at all English language films shot in Ibiza and Formentera. A full list can be seen at ... http://www.silver-screen-spain.com/index.php/filmindex/movies-by-provinces/ibiza idge), Harry Lewis (Ned Beatty), and Mrs. Arkwright (Ruth Gordon) soon make addle-brained Appleton feel that someone, if not everyone, is up to no good.

The movie was shot in 1984 and shelved for three years, explaining the presence of Gordon, who died the following August.