Ibizan 828 eissue 26 May 16

Can Misses Like a Local, In and Out in Under 20 Minutes P2

The Matricula Game, Transferring to Spanish Plates P12/13

White Island—Gala Screening & Review P7

“Ibiza is the same as any good relationship, it changes as you do, you have to work at it”

Quote from White Island, Page 7

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Page 2

Can Misses Like a Local

How To Do The Hospital Like A Pro—In and out of an outpatients appointment in under 20 minutes.

Anybody who has not had cause to visit the new can misses hospital since its inauguration will have a double challenge awaiting them in dealing with the new hospitals layout, but also the new outpatient’s electronic check in process that has been introduced in the last few weeks.

Here we give a Giuri’s guide to dealing with your hospital appointment better than a local—from parking, to check in, to appointment and departure in under 20 mins. Is it possible?

Read on. gibbs@theibizan.com

“T

hough national stereotypes are often not helpful, they do seem to have some merit in evidence. It does seem that the Germans do have particular skill in efficiency and engineering, French cuisine is renowned worldwide and we British don’t half know how a queue should be handled.

Fortunate then that our own queuing excellence may come in very handy when combined with the fact few people would consider Spain to excel in the field of public administration.

Their own shortcomings in that respect certainly seem evident on a recent visit to outpatients soon after they had commenced a new automated check in procedure which seemed to have left the entire outpatients unit in a chaotic shambles of confusion amongst the staff and patients alike.

Though it is often better to do your best to relax and see the funny side in such situations, it does seem obvious that a major mistake had been made in implementing two systems at once.

Alongside the new automated system for patients to check in, is a similar system for patients requiring information and advice. You can probably see where this is going already. If you didn’t understand the automatic check in process, you would not understand the request for information and assistance process. This inevitably resulted in comical carnage with corridors bulging with confused people carrying the expressions of lost souls condemned to wandering in circles for days on end.

Bless them.

1. Arrival

The new hospital has several basement level car parks. Worth noting for those attending in right-hand drive cars, that the ticketing machines and gates are in the middle of a 30% incline so make sure your handbrake is up to it as you’ll need to get out of your car to fetch your ticket.

2. Check In

This is the machine you are looking for

From the car parks use the lift or stairs back to the ground floor and enter by Entrance D (main picture)

Immediately on your left is the main information desk, though from its reputation you may as well ask a duck billed platypus for advice on changing your carburettor. Basically you are on your own and remember that all signs are in Catalan

As you enter, you will see the overhead directions and you need to turn right to department B—Outpatients Proceed along the corridor and turn right again into department B.

“T

he check in system is actually incredibly simple and so here we run you through what it takes from arrival at the hospital for those who have not been to the new building, and through the check in procedure for those that have not had cause to go to Can Misses very recently.

department ground floor reception area.

Important: even if your appointment is on another floor you must check in using the machines in the outpatients

You can change language to English, but it really is so simple you probably do not need to

The ticket contains three important pieces of information The number of the display monitor you must find on the floor where your appointment is being held The room in which you are being seen Your personal ID number

This time I was 1 in 100 visits lucky in that no sooner had I found my monitor, than my number came up on the screen.

With an undoubted feeling of hatred and resentment at my fluke good fortune burning into my back from all those others in the waiting area, I went off to what was a very quick procedure of Retinographia.

4. Depart

Insert your medical card The machine will issue you your ticket as if by magic.

3. Monitor Your Monitor

Having found your monitor, you may then need to settle down with your good book for the purpose for a very long time as hospital queues are hospital; queues and however much you understand the system there is nothing you can do to change that.

A few minutes later, with my eyeballs freshly photographed for reasons I am as yet not entirely sure, I was leaving the hospital.

Car parking is paid at the machines adjacent to the stairs/lift.

You may just be able to make out from the final photo, that the speed of my visit resulted in a parking fee of only 10c. This photo is submitted in evidence to any doubting Thomas’ out there who are sceptical as to the claimed in and out time.

So from arrival parking ticket timestamp to parking machine payment, a total of only 18mins—and that’s including the time it took me to photograph each step of the way.

I cannot promise you the same good fortune once you have logged in, but at least you now have a fighting chance.

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Page 3

News Appeal Against Formentera North Dock

The High Court of Justice of the Balearic Islands (TSJB) has admitted there is an administrative appeal brought by the Consell de Formentera for curbing the transfer from the port to the commercial quay port of Ibiza.

As reported by the Consell de Formentera, the court has given the Balearic Islands Port Authority (APB) a maximum of 10 days to make its submissions as to the interim suspension request made by the institution. The deadline is June 6.

The appeal and the precautionary suspension go against the tender for the drafting of relocation Formentera maritime station in the port of Ibiza, whose public contest is underway Port Authority.

The Consell has also sent a letter to the president of the Balearic Government, Francina Armengol, to facilitate dialogue in this matter.

The Consell de Formentera recalled that the appeal filed on May 18, has the support of all political groups and seeks to "defend the position of the people against changing the quay in Ibiza".

Santa Eulalia Bike Lanes

Councillor for Urban planning in Santa Eulalia, Mariano Juan, has presented the Coordinator Mobility Insular d'Eivissa Consell, Gianandrea di Terlizzi , with five projects which are at different stages of drafting, to expand the cycle paths within the municipality.

The meeting raised various proposals that Santa Eulalia is developing to create new paths that will allow the connection of different towns and resorts of the five parishes within the municipality.

Among the projects presented is a cycle path to connect with Santa Eulalia with Es Canar and also one that connects the Siesta urbanization with Santa Eulalia. The later project, would also allow bringing the route to further to Cala Llonga.

In the areas of Puig d'en Valls and Jesus, both are trying to get connected with Vila. In the first case, the City is now running a cycle path that reaches the road from Santa Eulalia, and the Consell must also finalise cycle path access to Jesus, so that all routes would be connected.

Exclusive cycle paths maybe an option for Vila, with the project looking to connect Raspallar and Blanca Dona through Camí Vell de Sant Mateu and a possibility, that from Jesus, the route could coincide with Camí de l'Horta / Camí de sa Llavanera to area Avenida Vuit de Agost.

Above: The offending handbag, above right: used in football stadium

Spanish Gag Law

All Cats Are Beautiful or All Coppers Are Bastards?

Madrid woman is fined for carrying a bag showing a cat’s face and a slogan that police view as a stand-in for a popular insult Ed. An interesting report in El Pais this week highlighting a tough stance on implementing Spain’s ‘gag laws’. I am astonished that wearing a garment with the term All Cops Are Bastards could be considered illegal, not because of any view as to whether cops are bastards, just that it would be considered an expression of free speech. But to base a prosecution on an interpretation of intent in that the slogan on the bag was carried by the owner to mean something other than the actual meaning of the sentence, wow, get your head around that one in terms of staying inside the law.

According to her own version of events, posted on Facebook and Twitter, Belén Lobeto was returning home on Sunday

San An Street Closures

Stating reasons of “Aiming to boost trade, strengthen the ease of passage for pedestrians, improving accessibility and road safety and highlighting important heritage sites” San Antonio Town Hall has decided to close to traffic streets in the area around the church and the West End. Some of the streets are already closed to traffic overnight, but this will bring forward the exclusion zone to most of the day, excluding a period for deliveries etc to businesses in the mornings.

The closure will occur daily from 1 June to 31 October, between noon and six a.m.

The roads affected are as follows:carrer Ample (del passeig de ses Fonts al c/ de Rosell), carrer del bisbe Torres (del passeig de ses Fonts al c/ de Rosell), carrer d'Antoni Riquer (del c/ Ample al c/ del Progrés) carrer de Sant Agnès (del c/ del general Balanzat al c/ d'Antoni Riquer), carrer de Bartolomé Vicente Ramon (del c/ de Sant Antoni al c/ d'Antoni Riquer), carrer de Vara de Rey (del c/ de la Mar al c/ del Progrés), carrer de Sant Antoni (del c/ Progrés al c/ de la Mar) There will also be a change in the direction of traffic on the last stretch of Carrer del Bisbe Torres, from the church to Passeig de ses Fonts, which is now down toward the waterfront.

During the excluded hours the only vehicles allowed access will be emergency services.

Security At San An Medical Centre From June 1st

The San Antonio health centre has announced it will have security within its facility from the 1st June running until the 15th October; the news coinciding with the condemnation of aggression suffered by staff at the centre this week.

A British man was arrested on Monday night for assaulting medical staff at San Antonio Medical Centre. He entered the facility looking for his brother who apparently had been treated in the street for drug intoxication and was subsequently transferred to Can Misses. Despite being verbally abusive the man eventually left, however returned more violent and aggressive, the police were then alerted and it took 4 Local Policemen and 2 Guardia Civil to detain the man.

The news of a security detail will be greatly appreciated as staff are becoming increasingly concerned at the behaviour

when two police officers approached her. An argument ensued over allegations that the slogan was really a stand-in for “All Cops Are Bastards.”

The original phrase “All coppers are bastards” has been documented since the 1970s, initially used by Skinheads and Football Hooligans in the UK, but picked up upon by Continental European ‘Ultras’ and Hooligans where it has gained very widespread use. It is often seen in football stadiums both as A.C.A.B and with its numerical substitution used by some to avoid recognition by the police, 1.3.1.2.

Belén posted on twitter “The police have just fined me across from my house (near the Calderón) for carrying this bag.”

As a result, the law enforcement agents presented her with a fine that she is promising to appeal.

The sanction is based on Article 37 of the new Citizen Safety Law – popularly referred to as the Gag Law because of its restrictive nature, particularly when it comes to capturing images of police officers or holding public protests.

According to the riot officers who fined her, Lobeto participated in “disrespect for a member of law enforcement in the exercise of his or her duties to protect citizen safety.”

The fine could be anywhere between €100 and €600.

Lobato’s tweet denouncing the incident, which took place near the Vicente Calderón stadium on the same day that Barça and Sevilla faced off in the Copa del Rey final, has been shared over 13,000 times and made the front page of the online news aggregator Menéame.

In a Facebook post, Lobato explained the incident. “I live next to the Calderón [stadium] and they’re playing the Copa del Rey final today. The police on duty must have very little to do, because as I was calmly walking home, suddenly two law enforcement officers ran after me to ask for ID and inform me that they were going to fine me for carrying this bag. I asked for explanations and said I really doubted that I was calling attention to myself or committing any crime, and they said to go tell it to the judge. They handed me the notice, which of course I didn’t sign, and I saw that the reason for the fine is something that is not anywhere on my bag, and when I told them that what they wrote down is A LIE, and that I can prove it to a judge, they said to go tell my government delegate about it, and that they were fining me for the acronym, which is there on the bag. I tried to talk to them calmly and reason with them, but it was impossible for a change, and I was forced to keep quiet to prevent them from

they are having to deal with due to alcohol and drug intoxication.

The Department of Health and Health Management Area of Ibiza and Formentera yesterday issued a statement which "condemns any aggression, whether verbal or physical, professionals in the public health system".

Proxy Prompt – Last Chance

Eligible British expats must apply for a proxy vote in EU Referendum by Tuesday 7th June Over 120,000 in Spain have clicked on voter registration webpage British expats who have been registered to vote in UK within the last 15 years have until Tuesday 7th June to apply for a proxy vote in the EU Referendum.

That is the final deadline for registering to take part in one of the most historic decisions that the British people will make for a generation. The deadline for registering for a postal vote has now passed, but you can still appoint someone you trust in the UK to vote for you.

Simon Manley, British Ambassador to Spain, said “Although the deadline for expats to vote by post in the EU referendum has now passed, you can still register to vote by proxy, as long as you do so by 7 June. We all know how important the referendum will be, for us, for our children, and for our country. Whether you think we should leave or remain, I would encourage those who have not yet registered to vote, and who are eligible to do so, to avail themselves of this final opportunity to have their say on 23 June. I am well aware that expats who have lived overseas for more than 15 years are ineligible, and I know that many are frustrated about that. The government will bring forward the Overseas Elector Bill to abolish this arbitrary time limit, but it must undergo full Parliamentary scrutiny and debate, so unfortunately it cannot be passed before the Referendum.”

More than 120,000 people with Spanish IP addresses have now visited www.gov.uk/register-to-vote since the beginning of the year. And thanks to the online registration system, more than 180,000 expats worldwide have so far completed their registration to vote, nearly double the number for last year’s General Election, which was itself a record figure.

The process is easy and takes just five minutes. Go to www.gov.uk/register-to-vote or search for ‘UK register to vote’ on www.gov.uk. You need only your National Insurance number and passport. If you did vote in the general election last year, don’t assume you are still on the electoral roll: just as in the UK, you must renew your registration every year.

You have until 7 June to go online and make sure you can have your say.

slapping me with a bigger fine. I also told them that there are lots of more important things to deal with. What a fucking disgrace of a country. Yes, ALL CATS ARE BEAUTIFUL. And whoever says otherwise is lying.”

The government delegation in Madrid will now have to decide whether the sanction was justified or not. Lobeto will have the right to appeal before a judicial authority, said police sources. A similar incident involving the ACAB acronym was reported in Alicante in 2015, and a year earlier two German courts handed down convictions against individuals who displayed “ACAB” and the numbers 1312.

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Page 4

Review & New Relish Restaurant Making A Poolside Splash

Afternoons in the bay just got better as Cala de Bou’s ‘food with a view’ favourite Relish Restaurant open their pool bar this coming Wednesday June 1st.

gibbs@theibizan.com

With the opening day bonus of free menu tasters and special drink and cocktail offers between 12 noon and 6pm, their bound to be happy punters can take a plunge in the pool, bask on the beds or even shuffle in their sandals with the poolside vibe provided by on hand DJ Matt Handy.

Don’t panic if you can’t make the opening, as the pool bar and special poolside menu is available daily from

12noon until 6pm. In the evening the restaurant moves over to its much loved a la carte menu where prime seated patrons (hint: it’s good to book) can enjoy frontline views out across the bay to San Antonio and the bright lights of the sunset strip.

All this is quite enough to justify their trip advisor certificate of excellence held for the last 4 years, but just to seal the deal, they continue to offer the Sunday taste of home in a full, and really rather special, traditional British roast dinner. http://www.relishrestaurantibiza.com/

Buffalo Boys Carly S

This Friday I caught most of a live acoustic set from San An's newest acoustic guitar duo 'The Buffaloes'. This male duo got my feet tapping, hands clapping and voice singing along as they performed covers of a whole host of songs from George Ezra to Johnny Cash topping by Oasis and The Beatles on the way. Dave's husky tones suited the modern pop and old rock beautifully whilst Martin lent a great country twang to Cash and co. They harmonised well together and complimented each other nicely to provide an evening of laid back easy listening with some up-tempo classics thrown in to get us wriggling. They're playing at various venues in the bay 5 nights a week, so catch them if you can!

Love Food Ibiza Claire B

We wrote about Love Food Ibiza a few months ago and the 6 TV Shows put out on YouTube. If you love food and love Ibiza, then these cooking programmes from Love Food Ibiza will tempt you into the kitchen. Tess Prince’s ‘Love Food Ibiza’ launched in the Spring of 2015 - a brand new website for the white isle where Tess shares her passion for food and music with seasonal recipes, reviews on great places to eat, healthy eating guidelines, information about island produce, interviews with Ibiza’s leading chefs, cool island artisans, superstar DJs and brilliantly creative mixologists.

The Love Food Ibiza Cooking Show is a 6 episode Web series that’s a love letter to Ibiza, its people and its food. Presented

by Tess, and produced by Lucky Life (a well-established media company based on the island), and featuring her inimitable

cooking. Each episode delves into a different side of Ibiza and all are online now: • Learning the secret ingredients of Ibiza’s finest paella from El Carmen’s Head Chef • Cooking one of the world’s biggest ever burgers at Balafia to see if superstar DJ Eats Everything can actually eat everything • Sailing to Formentera on an ecological catamaran whilst making a raw food solar powered lunch • Exploring the Salinas salt flats and then making salt baked seabass for the Mambo Brothers at their father’s Villa Mercedes restaurant • The powers of incredible organic Acai • Superfood cocktail and tapas at Pikes.

All the episodes are available through YouTube on the Love Food Ibiza Channel:

http://bit.ly/1nNIUoB https://www.youtube.com/channel/ UCO0nPMH_UTzfu7piMnwG0XQ/videos

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Page 5

Food & Drink

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Page 6

Shebizan Hola Zipsters. I’m just back from a quick jaunt over to Ibiza for an event that was one of the highlights of my year so far.

A great friend of ours, Colin Butts, is an author who lives on the island.

One of his successful novels has recently been made into a movie and we were invited over to an exclusive private screening of ‘White Island’. A story set amongst the beautiful landscapes of Ibiza, with plenty of music, gangsters, drugs, violence, comedy, tears, and cool characters – the perfect flick to bring to life Colin’s brilliant book.

There was a ‘white’ themed dress code, and we sat outside on cushions in the warm evening breeze in an open-air cinema constructed in the tennis courts of one of the most iconic hotels on Ibiza –Pikes – now ‘Ibiza Rocks House at Pikes’.

It was such a stylish setting. Famous faces were everywhere, from Irvine Welsh to Example, one of the star actors to appear in the film.

I wore my new Free People dress and when the temperature dropped later at night I got to wear my hairy white jacket from Sluiz in Ibiza. Like all the crowd in attendance, I’d chosen my whites carefully for the occasion.

When White Island goes on general release, I thoroughly recommend you see it.

This weekend will be a completely different story. I am running the Cancer Research Race For Life in London’s Regents Park at 11am on Saturday morning. I’ll be part of the Pink Army – dressed head to toe in Pink and having trained for the past six weeks, hope to nail the 5k run in around 30 minutes. The only thing I’m worried about is having to do a ‘Paula Radcliffe’ and stop for a wee at the side of the road.

That didn’t stop her winning her race though!

I’ll let you know how that goes next week. I’ll be bringing you next week’s blog from poolside in Mallorca. A holiday for my poor thighs.

In this week’s instalment we check out Poms of London plus we investigate new ‘plunging’ swimwear to give all the old men near heart attacks on the beach this summer.

Wish me luck and enjoy this week’s Amanda Zips It Up. X Read Amanda’s fashion blog http://amandazipsitup.com/

The Plunge

We're getting our swim on here at Zips It Up, making sure you stand out as a beach babe in this Summer’s key detail swimsuit – The Plunge.

These cut-out one pieces should come in a fierce black shade featuring the all important plunging style and strappy finish to each side. Don’t forget to team up with some killer mirrored sunglasses to add the finishing touch on that Balearic beach (more about those next time).

I’ve seen two reality TV ‘stars’ looking like they were battling it out in the sexy swimwear stakes, as they opted for plunging swimsuits in Ibiza recently.

Essex girls Jessica Wright and Chloe Lewis were out and about, showing us how it's done glamour-wise. Not girls from whom I would usually take style cues, but I have to say I am loving the Plunge at the moment. It suits most body types and is just about guaranteed to flatter, leaving

an energy like no other”, she says. Expect to see Hannah in her very own designs at long lunches, El Chiringuito style, rock climbing on the cliffs of Punta Galera or even shuffling on a dancefloor or two, Yes, her sandals can withstand all this type of stuff Poms of London - Bespoke and handmade in London.

Poms Of London

Ever since Dolce & Gabbana hit the catwalk last Fashion Week with their Pom Pom sandals and dresses, I’ve been obsessed. But I don’t feel flush enough to casually purchase a pair at an eye watering two or three hundred pounds!

We have seen the look filter down to the high street but I have discovered the bespoke Pom Pom queen of London, Miss Hannah Nijsten. She painstakingly hand makes her bespoke collection of pom pom sandals, which will fit right in for the upcoming Balearic summer 2016.

Bored with the same plain sandals that the high street stores were selling, Hannah’s business came about after she decided to modernise the historical gladiator with vibrant bright colours for a trip to Ibiza. She customised a pair with pom poms as a birthday present for a friend and uploaded a photo on social media. people went crazy for them. Since then Hannah has been taking orders galore via her Instagram page.

The sandals are handmade to order and I’m the proud owner of a pair for summer 2016.

They’re different to what anyone is selling in markets, high streets and are, most importantly, bespoke to the customer’s requirements.

you radiating confidence by the pool.

They were pictured on a yacht wearing matching plunging one-pieces and mirrored sunglasses. I particularly love the keyhole cut out style of Jess' swimsuit, which shows off her best assets and is perfect for a pool party. It's from Lipsy and the good news is that it's available to buy now. Simply add Pom Pom sandals and a floaty kimono for the ultimate beach babe look.

Or, if you want to see what else the virtual high street has got to offer in the daringly deep cut swimsuit department, look no further than my recommendations below.

This Missguided swimsuit is a bargain and will show off all your hard work if you've been hitting the gym in the run up to your hols. Just watch out for dodgy tan lines! £54 www.Nastygal.com Above left £22 www.missguided.co.uk Above right

PomsofLondon@gmail.com

Cool and Unique Beauty Products Pt1 Sophia V.

Every now and then I come across some products and just think they’re quite cool. Here are some things I spotted out shopping, or online recently.

Comb In Colour

The price is significantly lower than high end brands, notwithstanding that her sandals are hand made and not industrially manufactured. It takes Hannah 3-4 hours per pair but her goal is to create a pair of high quality colourful sandals without the hefty price tag.

Hannah says “Feet aren’t the prettiest of things, lets be honest, so my plan was to make our little creatures look beautiful.”

Sounds good to me.

Hannah is a fan of the white isle. “Ibiza has

A lot of shops sell hair colours, but I discovered the comb in colour on the River Island website. Whatever colour you’re after it can be combed in and washed out. You can have streaks or all over colour. There are also Spray On Colours, which is better for a fullhead, and even Hair Stencil Colour Kits. You can have circles, stripes, shapes etc in your hair. Kylie Jenner and Katy Perry wowed everyone with their baby-blue hair, and they’ve also had pink and purple too.

These none-permanent dyes are brilliant to funk up your look for a few days, or even to test out a new colour before deciding

whether to go permanent or not.

Brow gel.

After you have applied your eyebrow pencil swipe on a slick of brow gel to keep those brows looking as neat as possible.

Wearable Nail Soakers

Gone are the days wiping off nail varnish from each of your nails, and soaking remover in cotton pads. These are perfect! All you do is slip your fingers in and wait for it to soak the polish off. You can do both hands at the same time.

For more of Sophia’s articles and tips check out her blog: http://www.sincerelysophiav.wordpress.com

also online at theibizan.com

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

Page 7

White Island

White Island Film Premiere - Pikes hotel Sunday 22nd May. gibbs@theibizan.com

The Premiere screening of White Island has been hugely anticipated on the Island, but whatever level of excitement we locals held must have compared as nothing to that of Ibizan author Colin Butts upon whose book ‘A bus could run you over’ the film is based.

The realisation of the silver screen adaptation of his book has been a labour of love over a decade in the making. To finally see such dedication come to fruition is an incredible achievement. This was recognised in a huge outpouring of support with all of Ibiza’s great and good in attendance together with us normal folk and numerous celebs connected to the film and not. Many people in the audience had flown to Ibiza especially for the event.

Colin’s way with words did not let him down in an introductory speech that carried particular poignancy to his many friends. It is perhaps fair to say that despite the odds he had the audience laughing as the film rolled into its opening sequence.

My own nerves were due to the inconceivably difficult possibility that I might not enjoy the film given its subject matter being very close to home. Set mainly in Ibiza, and you can’t get closer to home than that, how many portrayals of our island have we seen on big and small screen that do it no favours at all? But this is Butts, and I was soon able to breathe the sigh of relief to say I need have had no such fears.

Unaccustomed as I am to film reviews, I will rely upon the synopsis of the Edinburgh film festival to avoid any possibility of doing a spoiler.

“I

[15] Though I guess we have to remember that the rest of the world’s film going public will not have the same almost paternal concerns as we islanders as to how the film portrays Ibiza, we are Ibizans and my own view, echoed by many others, is that the film manages to portray the island in a very positive light. This is no mean feat given the subject matter is largely based on the drink, drugs and party culture that are often used to bring our reputation down.

I am no expert but I wonder if the cinematography had a large part in that? I remember from last year’s filming that the production commenced under unseasonably grey skies. In some film maker trickery it seems that they had compensated for this by ramping up the white light levels and colour saturation. A technique I like in still photography and whether it was by design or necessity, I thought it filmed really well.

The film has a few bittersweet moments. A scene on the cliff tops overlooking Es Vedra between Connor and his past mentor Leo, where they discuss Leo’s terminal illness includes the line “I didn’t live like this to die like that”. It brought a good few lumps to throats.

At the other end of the emotional scale the film has a good smattering of comic moments, particularly the thug double act formed by Darren Day and sidekick brother played by Owain Arthur. They provided some real laugh out loud moments and if anything my only criticism of the film in that I wanted to see more of them – but that gives me good reason to read A bus could run you over, which Colin

biza is the same as any good relationship, it changes as you do, you have to work at it”.

White Island Benjamin Turner / UK / 2016 / 95 mins Lyndon Ogbourne, Joel Dommett, Elliot Gleave, Gala Gordon, Billy Zane, Billy Boyd

An ex-DJ who is trying to live a normal life in London is dragged back into the seductive drug-fuelled world of Ibiza nightclubs. This breezy comedy thriller stars Lyndon Ogbourne (Emmerdale) as Connor who, after a series of mix ups - which include an angry girlfriend and her drug dealer father (Darren Day) – finds himself back on Ibiza with his best friend, caught up in the plans of a violent drug gang, with the only possible support coming from his old mentor Leo (an engaging turn from Hollywood star Billy Zane).

instructed me not to do before watching the film.

White Island ends with a line I somehow feel will sound more cheesy in print out of context than it did in the movie. “Ibiza is the same as any good relationship, it changes as you do, you have to work at it”.

Ain’t that the truth.

There is no word yet on when the film can be seen on general release however watch this space as following a very good reception at Cannes distributors are currently bidding for the rights in various territories.

Colin Butts

Colin Butts, Pictured below on the set of White Island, and his 3 novels, Is Harry on the Boat, (also adapted for film), Is Harry Still on the Boat, and A Bus Could Run You Over, upon which White Island is Based.

After the screening Colin posted to his facebook page.

“Just about recovered from one of the most memorable nights of my life on Sunday night.

Thank you to everyone who made the effort. I was pretty nervous both at having to say a few words and how the film would be received but with so much support I needn't have worried.

It was an uplifting night in so many ways. Seeing some friends I literally hadn't seen in decades, seeing the fruition of a 12 year journey and listening to some of the best music at the after party I'd heard in many moons (thank you DJs).

My only regret of the night is that I didn't get to spend more time with those friends I hadn't seen for ages and those who had travelled a good distance to attend.

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

and vintage clothing corner. At 23:30 after the concert has finished, the party will move into Backstage where resident DJs Colin Peters, Wild Wolf and guests will be the hosts of the party. Tickets are from 10€ which includes a Heineken

Live Shows @ Dorado Playa d’en Bossa

Claire B I reported a few weeks ago that The Santos Ibiza complex (which now includes the new Dorado Suites – formerly Bali Beach) is hosting 8 acoustic concerts on Thursday nights this summer, featuring national, international and local groups. The full line-up has now been announced: L.A. - June 9 Vinila Von Bismark / The Frigolos – June 23 Is Tropical – July 7 Dorian - July 21 Monarchy - August 4 Mystery Jets - August 18 Kitty, Daisy & Lewis / Uncle Sal – September 1 We Are Scientists – September 15 The Dorado Live Shows will begin at dusk, from 20:00 to 23:30 in the pool area on the beachfront. In addition to the concert there will be DJ’s, a hot dog cart

Ibiza Rocks Residents Pass San Antonio

Claire B Good news for local Ibiza Rocks fans. The San Antonio venue is offering exclusive advantages for Ibiza residents. With the new Ibiza Rocks Residents Pass, there are big discounts and even free entry to some events.

To get the Ibiza Rocks Residents Pass, just register at www.ibizarocks.com/events/residents-tickets. During the season those registered will receive a weekly message (mobile or email) from the Rocks team with the weekly Residents offer for each Ibiza Rocks (Wednesdays) and We Are Rockstars event (Fridays).

To get entrance, take a proof of residency plus valid photo ID on the night and the name will be checked against the sign up list. The Ibiza Rocks 2016 season starts on Friday June 3 with We Are Rockstars with Stormzy and the Ibiza Rocks opening party is on Wednesday June 15 with Slaves and Ratboy playing live. Craig David’s TS5 Pool Party is on every Sunday from July 17. The full line-ups are at:

www.ibizarocks.com

Page 8

IMS Dalt Vila Ibiza Town

Claire B Friday May 27 sees this year’s International Music Summit (IMS) open air Dalt Vila party. The line-up: 18.00-19.30 Francesca Lombardo 19.30-20.30 B.Traits 20.30-21.00 Benjamin Damage Live 21.00-22.00 Nicole Moudaber 22.00-23.00 Tale of Us 23.00-00.00 Dubfire:live HYBRID From 6pm until midnight. Tickets cost 50€. More details and tickets at:

www.internationalmusicsummit.com

Opening Parties

Claire B Next weekend sees a whole host of club opening parties.

Friday May 27 - Destino Friday May 27 – Privilege Friday May 27 – Heart, with Sven Väth / Wolfgang Haffner Trio Saturday 28 – Ushuaïa Saturday 28 – Amnesia Sunday 29 – Space Sunday 29 – Acid Sundays @ Heart Pacha, Sankeys, Es Paradis, Eden and DC10 are already open but this weekend sees most of the rest opening.

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Page 9

Strictly Old Skool San An & Bossa

Gibbs The time is upon us for another 10 days of happy smiley faces. If Carlsberg made Logos … Here are the first few days.

Wednesday June 1st, SOS opening party 12am til 6am, Sankeys, Playa D'em Bossa, DJ Billy Daniel Bunter - 12am, Slipmatt - 1am, Rob Tissera - 2am, Uncle Dugs - 3am, Mark XTC - 4am, Dan Rewind 5am Thursday 2nd June, Reggae pool party, Kanya- 2pm – late, Cala Des Morro, DJ GAP - 2pm, Mark XTC 3pm, Slipmatt - 4pm, Billy Daniel Bunter - 5pm, Uncle Dugs - 6pm Friday 3rd June, 2 Bad Mice pool party, Kanya beach - 1pm - 4pm, Cala Des Morro, Bowlers sunset boat party (Italian house, Old Skool Piano), Where - San Antonio port - 6pm - 9pm, Mark XTC - 6pm, Stu Allan - 7pm, Rob Tissera - 8pm, After party at Paradis bar from 10pm

Es Paradis Opening San Antonio

Gibbs The times, they are a changing. And as far as San Antonio’s club companions are concerned it is all change for the good. Es Paradis with Hattie at the helm, and next door neighbour Eden with Dermot the do-er both have a huge swell of positive promise about them, and if Es Paradis’ opening is anything to judge by, the dream really can come true.

Our visit was during the booth tenure of Ibizan friend Paul Taylor, and My oh my did he play some belters (but not My oh my).

Music really is The Answer and Paul ensured nobody was left in any doubt with the help of Danny Tenaglia.

Es Paradis Gallery.

(main pic) Paul Taylor trying out his semaphore chat up lines again.

Above: Retro-mates, Paul and Rick Above centre: Proof they really will let anybody in the booth nowadays.

Connect Connection. The future of Trance is decided in the only way we know how, with the help of Cheese nibbles. (Photo staged under duress)

Bright Blue, Es Paradis for Lovers

Nothing like a love story to send us on our way. A visit to Es Paradis’ newly reopened Blue Room found their DJ even brighter than usual with a grin so wide we couldn’t understand how it fit on his face. But then when love and reminiscing are involved why shouldn’t he be a happy chappy? Here’s why Doctor Feelgood was feeling good, or bright, or both, or something, about the club with the tub.

“I first stepped foot into Es Paradis back in 1995 and fondly remember the water parties and dancing

around to the likes of Brandon Block, Alex P, Tony De Vit, Jeremy Healy, Judge Jules and then resident DJ Clara Da Costa!

We all have a story or two about Es Paradis as it has stood the test of time since the late 70’s, always reinventing itself – in my opinion it is one of the most beautiful clubs in the world and it has given me some fantastic memories over the years. This is where, in 2006 a nervous Doctor Feelgood proposed to his girlfriend (now wife!) in the middle of ‘La Luna Priva’ and, fast forward some twenty odd years since I first graced the dance floor, here I am on the lineup of the Opening Party!

It was truly an honour to play the re-opening of the Blue Room (formally Café Paradis) with the very talented (and beautiful) Loéca and just as talented (but not as beautiful) ‘Dangerous’ Danny Barry (the ‘dangerous’ bit is my nickname for him as when you are out with Mr Barrington you’d better check yourself into a health clinic after! – that guy can party!).

Whilst there is no denying that the main room is paradise revisited, the Blue Room was our little piece of Utopia!

I loved every minute of it, it was great to see my friends, current workers and fellow DJs come in and say hello. Check out The Blue Room (follow the signs) and party the night away.”

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Page 10

Community It’s Good To Talk

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Thursday 26th May to Wednesday 1st June 2016 ARIES - Three of Swords How you keep it together this week I don’t know. Someone’s going to push you to the limit.

This card indicates that two’s company, but three’s a crowd so someone, somewhere, is coming between you and someone/something that’s important to you. Don’t let past incidents cloud your thinking; you need a mind sharp as a scalpel to deal with this.

TAURUS – Nine of Wands You feel stuck in a rut and prone to procrastination this week and are certainly not in the mood to get any work done. Certain associations can draw on your energy so it’s time to get some maintenance work done on yourself! Take time out for a massage, healing or wellness programme that helps you get back on track.

GEMINI - Four of Pentacles Clever ideas generate income and you’ll be busy entertaining useful connections in order to establish credibility business wise. You'd be wise to plan for the future by consolidating capital or income this week. You’ll generate more than you think however; don't let that stop you from saving for a ' rainy day' which in uncertain times isn’t a bad thing!

CANCER - Page of Pentacles Time to take stock and to weigh up your options.

Some Cancerians's will be spoilt for choice this week but may be overwhelmed with indecision; what path should you take? There's a creative element to this card and someone will recognise and want your talents. However, there may be an angle therefore make sure you're clear about what you expect financially.

LEO – Transformation A week to make some bold changes in direction; time to say goodbye to the old lifestyle and to surprise others with the decisions you've made.

You cannot and do not want to live life stuck in the same old rut. This of course will upset those closest to you. However you must go for change to gain personal freedom.

VIRGO - King of Pentacles Have a detached air about you when it comes to making important decisions this week. Being emotional will only cloud your judgement. Don't budge if you're negotiating what’s best for you or haggling with someone over finances; playing tough gets you what you want. Earth sign men, Capricorn, Taurus or Virgo prove insightful and in helping you achieve your goals.

LIBRA – Six of Disks Successful week ahead as you are rewarded for past efforts with some kind of bonus and if you continue to throw your energy into the task then further rewards await. For some, expect some kind of promotion or success in in a job interview. Friends, love ones and associates are likely to be generous if you need some financial help.

SCORPIO - Two of Cups It’s a love filled this week as your relationships with others are both heart-warming and sincere.

You find it easy to get what you want as lovers and friends are so considerate of your needs.

They’re looking out for you! For the possessive amongst you however; there’s a timely reminder to always let the winds of heaven dance between you!

SAGITTARIUS - Queen of Wands You’re on a voyage of self-discovery as this card encourages you to look into what drives and motivates your life. If you need a second opinion, consult passionate fire sign women; Aries, Leo or Sagittarius who will be willing to help you with any business, family and in more personal areas of your life. Their advice is worth listening to.

CAPRICORN – Judgement You feel a sense of liberation and anything that’s held you back is now a figment of the past. This is especially true, if in fact, you’ve been the engineer of your own setbacks. Be determined to operate from a place of happiness and contentment; be open with your thoughts and feelings and don’t be afraid to speak your truth.

AQUARIUS – Five of Cups Emotionally, this has been an interesting time.

You’re in a process of re-evaluation and now may have to accept that not everything we humans desire is meant for us. It’s now time to let go of the past, a dream or goal that's simply not meant to be. Wisdom is seeing past our ego and being able to move on.

PISCES – Knight of Cups A peace offering is graciously accepted; you feel that now’s the time to bury the hatchet with someone who upset you. By showing how understanding and caring you are others will respond by meeting you half way. Acknowledging that situations could have been better handled in the past is a sign of wisdom. Romantically, this Knight is a new admirer!

Dear Ibiza Counselling, I’ve been on the island a few weeks, came here to live the dream and have a better life but now I’m really unsure of what to do. It all feels really disorganized and hectic. I’m not so naïve to think that the summer wouldn’t be really busy but its only May and I can’t begin to imagine what it will be like in June let alone August!

I’m finding it hard to make good friends because everyone is working so hard and it is so expensive but I do love it, something is keeping me here and I’m not sure what.

Do you think I should quit now before the season really gets going or shall I try and stick it out?

I look forward to your advice Thank you, FJ Dear FJ, Weather Thank you for your email, o and before I go on to adThursday 22 dress your main points I just wanted to be clear on one point. The aim of counselling is not to give advice but to work together to enable an individual to make a choice or changes in Friday 21º their life that they feel comfortable with and are prepared to take responsibility for.

So you came here to live the dream and it hasn’t quite panned out the way you had Saturday 24o hoped so far, it feels to me as if it is very early days.

Living the dream undoubtedly takes a lot of preparation and effort so your situation makes me want to ask Sunday 22º you about your relationship

Monday 22º

Tuesday 22º

Wednesday 22o

with time and what sort of pressure you are putting on yourself to create the dream instantly?

Ibiza is very different from the UK on one hand much more laid back but that attitude can ironically sometimes make things feel quite hectic and rushed, it’s something most people here take a while to accept but once the acceptance arrives you learn ways to work within it.

Friends are also a challenging area especially during the summer as you can never be quite sure who really lives here, who is on holiday and who is here just for the season, I have always found that real friendships are made in the winter.

You have undoubtedly arrived at a challenging time of year but as you say there is a reason why you were pulled to Ibiza and I suppose the question to ask yourself is how much of an investment are you willing to make to find out if this is the place you want to be. Personally I feel that until you have experienced a summer and a winter it is very difficult to judge how you might be able to establish a fulfilling life here so maybe it’s time to address your time lines and be clear with yourself about how much time you can give to this project i.e. investigating if Ibiza is for you.

I wish you all the best Warm regards, Kate NB: Please remember our weekly FREE support sessions have now moved to their summer time of 12.30 every Tuesday, if you would like more info and directions please contact kate@ibizacounselling.com.

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Postbag

Brinnit POV

View From The Pew

The Love Of God Rev. Dr Peter Pimentel

St. Paul writing sometime between AD 54 and 59, in a letter to the Christian communities in Rome, describes the origin of Christianity as an experience of the love of God. His letter is part of a collection of ancient texts known as the Bible. He says: “The love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:5) Notice what St. Paul is NOT saying. He is NOT saying that the early followers of Jesus believed that God loves them. He is NOT even saying that the early followers of Jesus were certain that God loves them. Paul is describing something very much more than that. The vividness of his expression speaks of a profound experience of God’s love: “The love of God has been poured into our hearts.”

St. Paul is describing an effusion of God’s love. He is using the image of a cloud-burst of refreshing rain on a drought and parched countryside to describe the experience of love that characterised those first Christian communities. He uses the perfect tense in the original Greek text to signify a definite event that happens and continues in the life of a follower of Jesus: “The love of God has been poured into our hearts.” St. Paul is saying that the Day of Pentecost is something that happens personally to every follower of Jesus: “The love of God has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” The Holy Spirit comes to us as an experience of love.

There are other foundational experiences of the Holy Spirit. St. Paul in another letter says: “And you became followers of us and of the Lord. For, in spite of persecution, you received the word with the joy of the Holy Spirit. So that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaia." (1 Thessalonians 1:6-7). Not only a profound experience of love but also of joy: “The joy of the Holy Spirit”. St. Paul also says in another letter that the experiences of prophecy, miracles, healings in the early Christian communities are also “manifestations of the Holy Spirit”. (1 Corinthians 12: 4 -11).

Christianity is not a belief that God exists and that God loves us. Christianity is an experience of God’s love and God’s joy and of miracles and signs and wonders.

The English-Speaking Church on Ibiza & Formentera.

Service this Sunday 29th May 11.30am at Can Truy.

The English-Speaking Church on Ibiza & Formentera.

See website for locations & information. Tel 971 343383 chaplainibiza11@gmail.com www.ibizachurch.org

Dear Editor I keep seeing out campaigners citing immigration as a reason to leave the UK, because their neighbour is an immigrant who causes trouble or there are 'gangs of them roaming the streets intimidating people'. Whilst this may well be the case there are also tens of thousands of immigrants in the UK healing the sick, caring for the elderly, teaching the young, driving public transport, ambulances and fire engines, cleaning hospitals, contributing to society and paying their taxes. And if leaving the EU does mean you can 'send them all back', who's going to do those jobs? Asbo Al sitting on his arse watching Jeremy Kyle all day? Not likely.

Yes, there are some immigrants causing trouble and claiming benefits, just as there are UK residents doing the same, but pinning the blame for all the UK's problems on one section of society is misguided and dangerous. It's happened in the past with disastrous results for the whole world and happens all the time in countries many in the UK view as 'backward'.

Leaving the EU is not going to be a quick fix to immigration issues and immigrants will not disappear like magic from the UK (or come flooding back in our millions from around Europe where we've migrated to from the UK) as soon as a leave decision is made.

"We're in the middle of an economic crisis it was caused by the banks, not by migrants. We have a housing crisis it was caused by the failure of markets, not by migrants. And our public services are stretched that is caused by austerity policies, not by migrants." Matt Wrack, Fire Brigades Union General Secretary Basing a leave vote on immigration alone is madness. If you want to vote leave, then go ahead, but please look at all the factors first and don't be led by right wing tabloids and politicians scapegoating immigrants.

Carly Sorensen

Cinema.

The English languge films return. Showing at teatroespana Sta Eulalia 21-hrs Wed - Sun 25th - 29th May. The Room (2015. PG 15. 1hr 58 mins) A young boy is raised within the confines of a small shed. Stars: Brie Larson, Jacob Tremblay, Sean Bridgers.

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Family Fun Carly S

With UK half term commencing next week,the island is expecting an influx of family visitors as well as Morna students being off school and there are several activities going on around the island. Here's a little round up of where to take the kids ( other than our stunning beaches of course!)

Saturday 28th May

11:00 – 13:30. 18€. Jewellery box making and decorating, using chalk paint and Jumping Clay ages 8 and up, limited places. Espai Magic Jumping Clay, San Antonio.

20:00 – 21:00. FREE ENTRY. Frozen tribute show/ kids party by Ibiza Princess Parties, Charlie's bar, Es Canar. Come and meet Elsa, Anna and Olaf for live singing, dancing, games and a photo opportunity.

Sunday 29th

11:00 onwards. FREE ENTRY. Children's day at Cala Llonga beach. Obstacle course and bouncy castle from 12:30, sandcastle building competition to be judged at 14:00.

Wednesday 1st June

11:00 onwards. FREE ENTRY. Ibiza Mamas Arts and crafts at Es Canar Hippy Market.

11:00 – 12:00. 10€. Singing Fingers 'Wobblers and Toddlers' music class for 1-4 year olds. Mini Ibiza Club De Campo, St Jordi.

Friday 3rd

10 – 11am. 10€. Singing Fingers 'Wobblers and Toddlers' music class for 1-4 year olds. Galeria Elefante Studio, Santa Gertrudis.

Even More Beach Fun! Two weeks ago it was the adults who had a beach party so this coming Sunday 29th May it's the little ones turn to to enjoy a day on the beach of Cala LLonga when the annual Children’s Fun Day On The Beach takes place.

Kicking off at 11am there'll be Beach Games with Albert, an Inflatable Obstacle Course/Castle a Sandcastle Competition (judged at 2pm), plus the ever popular Foam Party. It really is a great family day out so treat your young ones to lots of fun while you take it easy at one of the beach or beach side bars and restaurants. Viva Cala Llonga.

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Page 12

The Matricula Game help you (i.e. if your particular model didn't have Spanish type approval) then you will need to speak to a laboratorio to get a Ficha Tecnica drawn up and this could cost €500 €1500 rather than the usual €100 - €300 cost of a CoC or Ficha Reducida.

You are then ready to begin the transfer. These are the steps in the process however note that the order of some steps may change depending on your circumstances):-

U.K. To Spanish Motor Vehicle Registration Transfer

Brian Beezwax is one of Ibiza’s very well known longterm residents. Depending on your own lifestyle choices you may know him by one of several guises. By day he has a successful sound system rental and DJ agency.

By night he may be found donning the decks himself at a club, a bar, or an exclusive private event somewhere on the island. He also has the sometimes dubious pleasure (our words not his) of having formed the ‘Ibiza Winter Residents’ facebook group, which has something of a reputation for, er, frank exchanges of opinion. Whatever its critics may say, Brian’s group stands at just under 25,000 members and it's one of the few places in social media land where you really can say whatever you want without fear of censorship.

Another of the strings to his bow is that of Spanish Motor Vehicle Administration Expert (again our words not his). Brian has compiled a step by step guide in English for the process of importing a vehicle which is,

in our opinion, unparalleled in its being current and complete. We are very grateful to him in allowing us to share this in the newspaper and we will also post it to our website for ongoing reference. This must have taken him a long time to put together and such community effort deserves a plug of his business which you can see at the end of the article.

Please note that all information is provided in good faith and to the best knowledge of those compiling it.

Regulations change and are sometimes seemingly unclear or conflicting even to those working in public administration. Good advice when dealing with any Spanish administrative process is to wear a big smile, keep calm, and go documented up to your armpits.

We will start with some current advice from Brian on the issue of UK plated vehicles being towed in Ibiza town.

“P

olicia Local in Ibiza town are out clamping and towing foreign plated cars every day. It's a €500 fine (reduced to €250 if paid straight away), plus €7 per day storage, and the fine is for having a car on the road that is declared 'baja' (so anything SORN or untaxed is fair game for them). This applies whether or not you have paid the Modelo 576 tax. There is also a €200 fine (reduced to €100 if paid straight away) for no ITV if appropriate.

As far as I'm aware, if you are unable to tax the car in its home country (i.e. if the UK MOT has run out) then you will need a grua (licenced tow truck) to retrieve your car and you won't be able to drive it under any circumstances until you have green plates from trafico (see below). (Ed; from reports we receive this is not always observed in practice and sometimes cars are released where tax has expired. As is sometimes the case with Spanish administrative affairs, much is down to luck on the day.) You can pay them €80 to deliver the vehicle to you if you don't want to book your own grua.”

So they are your risks. You may meet people who have driven cars on UK plates for many years without ever falling foul of the law, but make no mistake, as it stands and with one or two very limited exceptions excluded, you are breaking the law if you are living in Spain and do not re-register your vehicle.

Preparation for Transfer

With thanks for such a tremendous community effort to Brian Beezwax www.beeZwaxIbiza.com.

Sound system rentals and event DJs and musicians with over 10yrs experience in Ibiza

Before you start the re-registration process you should have a Certificate of Conformity or a 'Ficha Reducida' for your car.

You will need your car details (especially chassis number) to get one of these either from the dealer (in Ibiza), the Spanish distributor, direct from the manufacturer, or from an online specialist.

If your car is younger than about 10yrs then it should have a European Type Approval number and it should be easy to get a CoC. The Type Approval Number usually appears on the V5 but if not then it should definitely be stamped on a plate under the bonnet.

You should also get your LHD headlights before you start the process as it can often take some time to find these, especially if you are looking to save some money by buying secondhand. If your car does not have European Type Approval then you should try the local dealer first. If they can't

1, Make an appointment for a special import ITV (ITV = similar to UK MOT)

You can only do this if you have the CoC or Ficha Reducida, and 3 photocopies of the chassis number (which must be taken from a pencil rubbing of the stamp on the car). You have to book in person (or fill out an authorisation form if you are using a specialist transfer company or your gestor).

Take the original registration documents, CoC and ID with you. The cost is €103 and the ITV testing centre is located at Carretera San Miguel KM 2.7 in Santa Gertrudis.

There are often long waiting lists of several months but importantly once you have booked your ITV you can go to Trafico (similar to UK DVLA) to apply for temporary green plates (optional—see below).

2. Pay Your Road Tax.

This is paid at the Ayuntamiento (local Council Town Hall. It is the same place as you will have completed your empadronamiento. No appointment is required.

3. Pay Your Import Tax

Go to Agencia Tributaria de Ibiza to pay your Modelo 576 import tax. This must be done in person with original documents. You will need to ask to be registered on the Alta (Modelo 030) if you are not already on there.

You need to make an appointment here: https://www.agenciatributaria.gob.es/AEAT.sede/ CitaPrevia.shtml

If you are unable to make an appointment, you are probably not on the alta, so you need to visit the Agencia Tributaria without an appointment, and explain this.

Cost depends on the car (see info and links at the end of this article). Location is Avenida Bartolome Rosello, 21. 07800.

Currently 2-3 week wait for appointment.

4. Get Your Green Plates (optional!)

Go to Trafico to get green temporary plates. You will need your stamped photcopies of car papers from the ITV, residencia (original), (or NIE & empadronamiento originals), Modelo 576 payment receipt, and road tax payment receipt.

You need to make an appointment here: https://sedeapl.dgt.gob.es/WEB_NCIT_CONSULTA/ solicitarCita.faces

The cost is €20 to apply, plus around €30 to buy the plates from Recambios Ibiza or similar. Location is Carrer Vicent Serra y Orvay, 43. 07800. Currently 2-3 week wait for appointment. You may also need to pay for the main import application at the same time, which is another €95.

5. Take Your Vehicle for the Special Import ITV.

Your vehicle must pass its ITV test which is similar to the UK’s MOT but with requirements differing according to Spain’s regulations. The specific requirements of the ITV, and special import ITV are beyond the scope of this article, but make particular note of the need for LHD headlights mentioned in the section on preparation. Beam converting stickers are not accepted.

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Page 13

6. Finish the Importation

Go to Trafico to finish the import.

You will need your stamped photocopies of car papers from the ITV, residencia, (or NIE & empadronamiento), special ITV, tax payment receipt, modelo 576 payment receipt (all originals). You need to make an appointment here: https://sedeapl.dgt.gob.es/WEB_NCIT_CONSULTA/ solicitarCita.faces

The cost is €95 to apply (you may have already paid this in step 4), and around €30 to buy the plates from Recambios Ibiza or similar.

Location is Carrer Vicent Serra y Orvay, 43. 07800. Currently 2 -3 week wait for appointment.

More information about importing

Once you've been living here for six months (or working here for three months), you are obliged to get residencia, and once you have got your residencia, you are obliged to put your car on Spanish plates and change your driving license for a Spanish one.

Regardless, for these six months, you are required (by EU law) to have your car taxed, MOT'd and fully legal in your home country, so as soon as you can't meet any of these criteria it will be very difficult to avoid a fine/clamp/tow. You will usually be OK until the tax runs out, as long as you have a valid MOT or voluntary ITV to satisfy your ex-pat insurance.

If your car is less than about 10yrs old then it should have the European type approval number on the registration document (V5 if it's a UK car) and in this case, the process should be relatively straightforward.

Many people choose to have the transfer undertaken by a gestoria or specialist vehicle registration company. It can be very time consuming and complicated if you don't, particularly if you are relatively new to living in Spain. The gestoria will charge you around €200 + IVA (VAT) on top of the costs of the import.

If you have owned the car for at least 6 months before you applied for your residencia there is an exemption that says you do not have to pay the Modelo 576 tax. To obtain this benefit the re-registration process must be finished within 2 months though, which in practice is almost impossible.

If your car is over 25yrs old then you also have the option of a 'historico' import. The process is basically the same, but you need a specialist engineers report for the Ficha Tecnica and you need to join the local classic car club. The cost for the inspection rises from the usual €150 (for a car with European or Spanish Type Approval) to around €650. You should also use a specialist gestoria, and the good ones charge €350 + IVA (my regular one charges €200 + IVA), partly because they have more work to do, and partly because they offer a more comprehensive service. So it costs a fair bit more, but on the

plus side, you don't pay any road tax and you only have to take an ITV test every 2 or 3 years (depending on the age of the vehicle).

The Costs €20 - Green temporary registration document €95 - White permanent registration document €103 - Special import ITV These taxes depend on your vehicle (age, engine size etc): €20-150 - Circulacion/Road Tax (paid yearly) €66-500+ - Modelo 576 (Emissions tax) (You should probably allow €100 road tax & €500 Modelo 576 for most cars) These costs depend on your gestoria and whether or not you want historico plates for an old car: €242-423 - Gestoria charges €150-650 - Engineers report and Ficha Tecnica (or €1500 for single vehicle homologation if your car is under 25yrs old, but has no European Type Approval)

To calculate the Modelo 576 Payment:

First find your car on the list in the link below and it will say the NEW PRICE on the far right. http://www.boe.es/boe/ dias/2015/12/21/pdfs/BOE-A-201513918.pdf

Then you use this table to work out the CURRENT VALUE (for tax purposes) (up to 1 year old = 100%, 1 to 2 years old = 84% and so on.

Hasta 1 año 100 % Más de 1 año, hasta 2 84 % Más de 2 años, hasta 3 67 % Más de 3 años, hasta 4 56 % Más de 4 años, hasta 5 47 % Más de 5 años, hasta 6 39 % Más de 6 años, hasta 7 34 % Más de 7 años, hasta 8 28 % Más de 8 años, hasta 9 24 % Más de 9 años, hasta 10 19 % Más de 10 años hasta 11 17 % Más de 11 años hasta 12 13 % Más de 12 años 10 % Finally, you work out the Modelo 576 tax as a percentage of the CURRENT

From Cat ...

Cat Milton

“A

breeze teases the silence.

For a moment a bird sings in accompaniment.

A baby lizard watches me hopefully, wondering if perhaps I might have a little titbit to feed it (I do seems they like cat snacks too..)

After a moment, I pour a little water to the hot dry earth.

The lizard steps forward to drink.

I breathe in deeply, slowly, feeling the sun's warmth, the air rich with the scent of pine.

There's no sense of time here.

A bird sings again.

The lizard wanders off to bask on an old rock wall.

A butterfly hurries by.

Oh, that reminds me.

I think I'm meant to be somewhere.

Cocktail in hand, buzzing tunes in the background, the laughter and chitchat of beautiful people.

The lizard tilts it's head as though to say, "Well?" "#JOMO" I wink and settle back, closing my eyes, "Joy Of Missing Out. Nibble my toes if you want more water."

I snooze.

VALUE. If the car is older than 1997 then it's always a flat 12%, but if it's not then you need to find out the CO2 emission figure (google is your friend) http://www.nextgreencar.com/car-tax/calculator.php

<140 g/km = 0% 120-160 g/km = 4.75% 160-200 g/km = 9.75% >200 g/km = 14.75%

And that’s it! Easy right? Best not to dwell on the fact that to re-register a Spanish car in the UK takes one online form and a £75 payment.

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Page 14

Sport

Main picture: Ibiza face some tough bowling v Mallorca, Above: Cup winner for 2016 Menorca

Ibiza Cricket Club Balearic Cup 13/05 Menorca vs Ibiza 40 overs

Ibiza skipper Graham Boe won the toss and chose to field first, wanting to put pressure on the Menorca batsmen at once. Thus opener Andy Tyso fell first with the score on 30 , before young all rounder James Davies (38) and Dave Catterall (29) combined well to increase the scoring rate. But when both departed soon after each other, the score was on 87/3 off 20 overs, and then 103/4, and Ibiza felt that they had a chance to reduce the hosts further. However, Menorca batsman Adam Cockcroft started his innings aggressively and built a crucial 128 run stand with veteran Jeff Barker (41 not out); Adam rode his luck several times, with top edges just missing fielders, but survived to score an unbeaten 101 and allow Menorca to complete their 40 overs on an imposing 231/4.

Ibiza's problems were compounded by one of their opening bowlers, Pete Essex, injuring a hamstring in his first over and having to leave the field. This obviously put pressure on Ibiza bowlers Paul Cruttwell, Johnno Gordon, Mike Amos and Graeme Cooper, who all contributed a wicket, but were unable to break the partnership.

So Ibiza now needed to score at 6 runs per over, and were themselves put under pressure by accurate Menorca bowling and alert fielding. In fact, several wickets fell early and only Sam Gooda (22) and Tim Stacey (17) reached double figures until Brad van Byleveldt came to bat and scored a defiant 41 to increase the scoring rate. Ibiza felt the loss of their injured player keenly, and no batsman was allowed to settle by Menorca, so that the visitors continued to lose wickets and eventually subsided to 124 all out in the 34th over, Menorca running out deserved winners by 107 runs. The hosts bowlers Tim Hayden (2/25), Dave Catterall (3/18) and Jeff Barker ( 4/16) did the damage, while veteran Ted Williams (recently selected to play for the England over 70s against Australia over 70s!) obtained 1/27.

14/05/16 Mallorca vs Ibiza 40 overs

Today Ibiza batted first and openers Sam Gooda (28) and Tim Stacey (40) set up a solid platform, allowing Ibiza to reach 75/1 off the first 20 overs. Johnno Gordon (16) got a good start before being bowled and Graeme Cooper struck some welcome boundaries in his 33 before being well caught, but then Ibiza keenly felt the loss of 2 main batsmen Brad van Byleveldt and Pete Essex, the former also injured while playing the day before and unable to participate today. Ibiza were faltering at 142/6 with the tail to come and the 2 main Mallorca fast bowlers to finish off the remaining 6 overs. But Paul Partridge hit some useful boundaries in his 18 not out, and along with an extras count of 26, Ibiza were able to finish on 172/6, a defendable but not imposing total. Mallorca bowlers Wes Walker (2/35), Ben Vickers (2/26) and Asian newcomer Rizwan (2/18) were the wicket takers.

Mallorca batsmen Yaseen (44 not out) and another Asian

newcomer Pavan (34) made a good start and the first wicket to fall came at 56 off 10 overs, so the required run rate was maintained. Ben Vickers then struck a typically aggressive 34 before being well caught behind, but Mallorca were well on track at 103/3 off 20 overs. Asian Rizwan then hit a rapid 30 to bring the score to 149/ 4, with Mallorca only needing 24 runs more with 10 overs in hand. With the experienced opener Yaseen still batting and joined by yet another Asian player Zesham, Ibiza were unable to get another wicket and prevent Mallorca reaching 176/4 in the 37th over, and winning the match by 6 wickets. Ibiza bowler Mike Amos obtained 2/31, while Paul Cruttwell and Jeremy Parmenter contributed a wicket each. Ibiza had performed better overall than the day before, and one wonders what they could have done with their full team competing and scoring over 200 runs, but this year it was not to be and they ran out losing both games for the first time in 5 years (2011). The Balearic cup final would therefore be played out in the Sunday game.

Balearic cup final result: Menorca 254/8 (James Davies 50, Dave Catterall 75), beat Mallorca 211 all out (Wes Walker 48, Yaseen 52) by 43 runs and win the Balearic cup for the first time since 2010. Congratulations to Menorca for a fine team performance all round!

Many thanks also to Menorca skipper Simon Cotton and his team and clubhouse staff for their welcome and hospitality, as well as to Ibiza treasurer Lyn Carpenter for her support, Dave Reynolds for scoring both games and to the several Ibiza supporters who came to watch, including Barry Dolby (Barrington Sports) who sponsors Ibiza CC with vital cricket equipment every year! Thanks go also to our other sponsors Ocean Beach Club, Plastik, Ibiza Property Shop and Dynamic Lives.

RPHood

Jezza’s World of Sport Rory Mac Back On Song And Jose To Ot! Golf

Great to see World No 3 Rory McIlroy back on song. He won his first tournament since November, at the Irish Open at the K Club in the Emerald Isle. As host, with a large slice of the proceeds going to his Rory Foundation, he started off like a train but come the final round was only 2 shots clear of fellow Brit, Scotsman Russell Knox and then, come the 15th he dropped to one behind. However, he's not in the World's top 3 for nowt, and came roaring back with two stunning shots on the 16th and 18th to win by 3. So, a first Irish Open and let's hope this is the start of a super summer for the Brits with so many great tournaments coming up.

Cricket

England's summer Test Series started on Thursday with the 1st Test (of 3) against Sri Lanka at Headingley and although Cook's boys appeared to be struggling in their first innings, reaching 298 all out, due to a stunning century from local hero Bairstow backed up by Hales' 80 odd, nobody at that stage expected to see England whip the Sri Lankans out twice and end up winning by an innings and 80 odd runs within 3 days of the scheduled 5! Brilliant and congrats to strike bowlers Anderson, who took 10 wickets in total, Broad, currently World No 1, who took 4 in the first innings and gloveman Bairstow who took 9 catches in the two innings to rightly be awarded man-of-the-match. So, one up with two to go, a good start to England's summer!

Tennis

This week it's off to Roland Garros in Paris for the start of the 2nd Major of the year. Good luck to the Brit contingent led by Our Andy Murray in the Mens, where World No 1 Djokovic is seeking his 4th consecutive Major and that elusive Grand Slam, and Johanna Konta and Helen Watson in the Womens.

Rugby Union

It was the semi-finals of the Premiership at the weekend. No real surprises there as both Nos 1 and 2 in the league came through to meet each other at next week's Twickenham Final. Firstly, Saracens, bidding for the Double after winning the European Cup, took Leicester apart to win 44-17 whilst Exeter reached their first ever p/off Final by beating in-form Wasps 34-23 in a much tighter game than the score suggests.

My tip? As a West Country man I'd love to see the Chiefs win through but have to go with my head and Saracens to complete that elusive Holy Grail of the Double.

Rugby League

Changing codes and certainly tight at the top of the Super League as only 2 points separates the top 4 after 15 matches.

We have new leaders as well, as Hull FC beat Hull KR 28-16 in their local derby to be 2 points clear of Warrington, who lost 34-14 to Catleford, Catalans who also lost, 25-24 against Wakefield, and Wigan who trounced last year’s Champions and still bottom Leeds, 40-8.

Football

There's really only one place to start this week and that's Old Trafford, where manager Louis van Gaal had a sweet/bitter weekend. Firstly, the sweet and congrats to him and Man U for winning the FA Cup at Wembley, 2-1 against Crystal Palace. Altho' t'wasn't easy as they went a goal down but came back to win in extra-time and give not only King Louis (remember him from Jungle Book!) his first and last trophy for Man U, but also Rooney's first ever winner's medal. Having done that tho' came the bitter as rumours circled that he was due to be sacked and replaced by Jose. Rumours that became fact earlier today (Monday) altho' Jose hadn't signed as yet! So, sorry dear Lynn, your worst fears look like coming thru', but on the bright side, one thing I can almost guarantee is that if Jose is your new manager not only will he win you trophies but he'll also get you in to the Champions League and may even win it. So my advice to all you doubting Man U Thomases is this, give the man a chance before condemning him! Also, next season's Premier League is really building up to something special. In my opinion, 4 of the top 5 young(ish!) managers in the world will be battling it out ie. Jose, Pep, Jurgen and Conte, and that's not even including Pochettino, Koeman and Bilic, and also, what's this I hear about Pellegrini being touted for Everton?

Talking of Cup Finals, last w/end was full of 'em as well as extra time as in Germany, Pep bowed out with the Double as Bayern scraped the Cup Final 1-0 over Dortmund after penalties, in Spain Barcelona also did the Double as they pipped Sevilla (winners of the Europa League Cup against Liverpool) 2-0 aet, and Juventus the same as they beat Inter Milan.

Last but not least, for my regular reader/s who noted my comments last time out 'bout Hereford and their bull Ronaldo, commiserations to my mate Stevie B, who hails from the city of cider (just not as good as Taunton tho'!) and the SAS (whoops, better not say that as I might become a target for a “black ops” hit squad!) as his team were not quite as good as he thought they were, being trounced 4-1 at Wembley in the FA Vase Final by Morpeth Town. Never mind mate, there's allus next year and who knows, you might even win the Extra Terrestrial Dyson/Electrolux Midlands Division league!

Moving swiftly on, don't forget Saturday's Champions League Final in the San Siro between Real Madrid, gunning for their 11th CL title, and neighbours Atletico, led by Mr Dour himself Simeone. Remember 2014 when these two last met? Atletico leading by 1-0 with 1 minute to go of normal time, then Ramos with a header to go in to extra-time, and then wham, bam, thank you m'am as Real won 4-1 to record their Decima!

Not to be missed methinks, just a shame it's on BT Sport, whose coverage of the CL this season, in my opinion, has been absolutely dire and not Sky. In fact so bad, that I've cancelled my BT coverage for next season, and, no, nuthen to do with my team not being in it!!!!!

'Til next week, when no doubt we'll start our run-up to the Euros in France, where already they're talking of an England win. Hmmmph, as much chance of that as Mnsr Wenger winning the Premier League next year! Cheers, Jezza

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Page 15

The Guide ...

Transport & Storage

TRANSPORT

UK—Ibiza—UK. From 25€ per cubic metre, or no cash through the swap shop. Call Sandy, from Spain, 603 52 00

Insurance

Pharmacies. For Details Including Out Of Hours www.COFIB.es ITV . To Book A Vehicle For An ITV Online http://bit.ly/ibizanitv

59, from UK 0758 400 2658 or ibizaukibiza@gmail.com

Employment

Restaurant in Cala de

Trades

Medical Centres. Information & Online appointments http://bit.ly/ibizandoctor New Freephone Number For The Samaritans in Spain 900 525 100 Crime. Contact the Policia Nacional in English Tel 902 102 112

Tel 971 348 271 Mob (Eng) 638 923 119 www.theibizan.com editor@theibizan.com Editor: Nicholas Gibbs Bes Media Holdings 1999 S.L., c/ Jaén, 2, Cala De Bou, 07829, Ibiza Booking Deadline: Mon 5pm (ask for later), Copy Deadline: Tues 5pm, Print: Weds, Distribution: Thurs, Online: From Thurs. Dep. Legal DL 1-303-1999

Bou looking for a fulltime chef. Very good conditions, immediate start.

Send cv to hotel2015@yahoo.es

The Ibizan, Thursday 26th May 2016, Issue 828

also online at theibizan.com

Page 16

Property Is Fixed Rate The Way to Go?

For decades property buyers in Spain have turned their nose up at the fixed-rate mortgage, almost always choosing to go for the variable-rate option instead.

But now, recent figures published by the National Consumer Institute (INE) have revealed that this tendency is changing – and fast.

Data shows that in February this year, the number of people who have taken out a fixed-rate mortgage has reached 10.8% of the total.

The average interest rate given to these mortgages sat

at around 3.31%.

However, what experts are seeing now is that the number of people preferring to take out a fixed-rate or mixed mortgage is rising rapidly, and is expected to register 20% of all mortgages in Spain within a few months.

Despite the fact that interest rates are at the lowest they have ever been, many families are deciding to take the fixed-rate option, basically for the peace of mind, knowing that the interest rate on their monthly repayments will remain the same for the duration of the contract.

According to a survey carried out, these are the 5 best fixed-rate or mixed mortgages for 20 years on offer at the moment, with regards to the

nominal interest rate solely: Hipoteca Naranja mixta from ING: 1,99% (10 years) and Euribor +0,99% for the rest Hipoteca BBVA: 2,25% Hipoteca Ahora from Liberbank: 2,25% Hipoteca fija Bankinter: 2,40% Hipoteca fija from Banco Santander: 2,40% Although the nominal rate is the first thing to look at, there are other things to take into consideration as well when checking out which mortgage offer suits you best.

For example, ING does not charge an opening fee, but Bankinter and Activobank do

(1%).

You also need to check whether banks charge for fulfilling your mortgage early. Banco Santander charges 0.5% interest if you cancel your mortgage within the first five years, and 0.25% for cancelling it after.

With the Euribor as low as it is at the moment, it makes sense for many people to take out a variable-rate mortgage. And it looks like the Euribor is set to register low figures for at least a few years. It’s what will happen when interest rates start to go up that is probably worrying many people. Sometimes the security of knowing what you will have to pay for the full period is the best.

http://www.onthepulse.es/

Ref: 565 498,000€, 2 beds 152m2 built on 650m2 plot San Jose

Ref: 499 2,800,000€ 5 beds 509m2 with 10,780m2 plot Santa Agnes

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