Ibizan 881 eissue 25 May 18

Clubs Cry Foul “Nobody Knew How To Evaluate Its Impact” San Antonio Mayor Tur reacts to ‘Social Alarm’ over Cala Gracio Chiringuito. Full story page 3.

Privilege and Es Paradis claim the Mayors of San José and San Antonio are turning a blind eye to the infractions of other clubs, including Hï in Playa d’en Bossa.

Superclubs Privilege and Es Paradis are pursuing legal action against the Mayor of Sant Josep, Josep Marí Ribas Agustinet, and the Town Planning Councillor, Ángel Luis Guerrero.

In an announcement by the clubs’ lawyer, Joan Cerdà, it was stated that they are pursuing action for the alleged crimes of ‘administrative trespass’ and another ‘against the ordination of the territory’, in essence that the two flouted the laws and regulations in force with regard to the opening of the Hï superclub in Playa d’en Bossa, following the closure of Space at the end of the previous season.

Their lawyer said “We are going to request the opening of an oral trial because Guerrero has acknowledged that the works of the disco Hï were made without a licence (a charge refuted by Guerrero), that they did not stop works as a result, nor were

sanctioned, and that the permit for work was issued later.”

In addition to the charges over the undertaking of works, they also claim Hï was allowed to open illegally. “In addition, the Hï disco opened without a license and the Municipal Council did nothing to prevent it.”

Guerrero Says “Unfair”

granted. "This is an infraction, not a crime, and for that reason the Local Police issued a report that led to a fine of 5,000 euros," said Guerrero.

"The opening license was also supported by technical and legal reports," he added.

The Diario de Ibiza reported that they had contacted the owners of Hï , the Matutes group, however their spokesperson said they would not comment on an open judicial processes.

Councillor Guerrero reacted by saying that the lawyer acting for both himself and the Mayor, Ascensión Joaniquet, he Hï superclub opened without a would be relicense and the Municipal Council questing that the case be did nothing to prevent it.”

Joan Cerdà, Lawyer acting for Privilege and Es Paradis dismissed on the grounds that the accusations are "unfair".

Selective Hearing?

Guerrero said that the works underEs Paradís and Privilege have also taken in Hï "were always covered denounced the mayor of San José by building permits, and with all together with San Antonio Mayor relevant technical and legal rePep Tur Cires, for what it alleges as ports ." "abandoning functions" in the noise Regarding the opening of the club control of selected entertainment without a license, Guerrero convenues, specifically in certain beach firmed that it did open a few days (Continued on page 3) before formal permission had been

“T

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

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Page 2

News IFCC Receives Distinction From British Embassy

Representatives of the Association, Ibiza & Formentera against Cancer received a distinction from the British Embassy in Spain for their social work in the Pitiusas. The distinction was presented as part of the celebration of the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle at the Embassy in Madrid. The president, Helen Watson, explained that this recognition is an acknowledgement of "18 years work and our efforts to help cancer patients and their families."

Portuguese Man o’War are not jellyfish but siphonophores, colonies of marine hydrozoans living together as one.

Portuguese Man O’War 1000 Years Of History Under Avenida de España

Work to install underground rubbish bins have brought to light remains that span from the 5th century BC to the 5th after Christ. The excavation is more than 1.5 metres deep and there is a broad spectrum of remains from Punic times to Muslim, passing through Roman times.

Installation of the bins has been suspended for a month while an archaeological excavation is undertaken, and report written, this will then be assessed by a technician who will determine what to do with the remains.

A structure, believed to be a dwelling from late Punic to early Roman times has been found, along with a number of ceramics. The remains of an “altered” Roman tomb have been found in the same area estimated as 4th or 5th century.

Islamic tombs have also been found about 2 metres in the clay. That of a man and the other a child about 10 years old.

Both tombs contained skeletons laid sideways and orientated towards Mecca, the adult had been buried with a shroud, they are believed to be 10th century

There have been numerous sightings of the Portuguese Man o’War along Ibiza’s coast in the past month and as the wind is the power behind their ‘sail’, there may be more.

Portuguese Man o’War (Physalia physalis) are not jellyfish but siphonophores, which are colonies of marine hydrozoans – lots of small organisms living together and behaving as one. The beautiful yet dangerous creatures can look like a blue plastic bag floating in the water with their almost invisible tentacles underwater extending typically 2.4 metres, though some extend to 30 metres (that’s 6 car lengths).

Stings cause severe pain in people, leaving whip-like red welts on the skin that normally last 2-3 days although the pain should subside after a few hours.

Other symptoms include fever, shock and if the venom travels to the lymph nodes it may cause symptoms similar to an allergic reaction – blocked nose, swollen larynx, difficulty breathing and cardiac distress. In extreme cases death has occurred however this is extremely rare. Those most at risk are children and people with heart conditions.

If you spot one Do not touch it. Even when dead the stinging cells can be active.

Alert a lifeguard or call 112.

Cala De Bou Health Centre Expansion The Cala de Bou basic health unit will receive an investment of 275,000€ The general director of the Servei de Salut Juli Fuster and the mayor of San Jose Josep Marí Ribas have signed a protocol for the extension of the health centre adding another floor to the existing building and improving the facilities to cover the requirements of the residents of

If you get stung Wearing gloves, remove the remains of any tentacles that may still be on the skin. You must NOT touch the tentacles.

Wash the area thoroughly in salt water (not fresh/ bottled water).

Soak the area with warm water/apply heat to alleviate the pain.

Keep the affected area out of direct exposure to the sun, but do not cover the wound.

Take painkillers such as paracetamol or ibuprofen.

Do NOT use fresh water as this can cause more pain.

Do NOT use vinegar.

Do NOT pee on it, it won’t help and may cause further pain.

Do NOT scratch.

Seek medical advice if you have severe pain that isn’t going away, or you have been stung on your face or genitals.

Get urgent medical assistance if you have difficulty breathing, chest pain, severe swelling around the affected area, severe bleeding, vomiting, feeling faint or loss of consciousness For more information on all matters relating to jellyfish and their effects within the Mediterranean contact

https://www.facebook.com/Jellyrisk/

Cala de Bou and Port des Torrent.

The new top floor will be 171,33m2, which will give the health centre a total surface area of 641,40m2. The new building will be a modular structure utilising the 4 consultation rooms and a multipurpose room already on the ground floor with 4 new consultation rooms, a waiting area and toilets on the top floor.

The new building will allow for more staff and once staff are in place, the health centre plan to remain open 8am8pm two or three times a week with the remaining days 8am-3pm.

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

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Page 3

News Will It or Won’t It?

Future of Much Debated Cala Gracio Chiringuito Remains Unclear Monday: Despite having the approval of the City Council of Sant Antoni, Coastal Demarcation and the Balearic Regional Council of Territory, the kiosk bar in Cala Gració does not have an activity licence and will not be allowed to open.

Friday: San Antonio’s Mayor says he does not like the Chiringuito, but that the owner has submitted a ‘responsible statement to comply with the requirements of the activity’, and says "If we see that it complies with the law, we will have no choice but to give the authorization".

The mayor of Sant Antoni, José Tur said that after the criticisms levied against the installation of this chiringuito, it was decided to "thoroughly review" the file. “According to some technical opinion, it would require some more authorisation in terms of activity or urbanism. This is what we are studying”, he said.

The mayor then indicated that the City Council "has not received any request" by the developer "to obtain an activity licence."

This is "the irregularity" that the government team referred to last week in their plan to paralyse the opening of this tourist establishment, which has authorisation to install 11 tables and 38 chairs, while awaiting "new actions".

No Reasons To Oppose Tur initially indicated that the request for the installation of the bar "came to the City Council with favourable reports from Costas and the corresponding Government department", although he later acknowledged that it was Costas who requested the report from the Department of Environment of the City Council, which was "favourable." “It is the opinion of the technician. There were no reasons to object, but this does not mean that there is no need for an activity licence or an urban planning licence, which is what is being looked at. It is a complex procedure involving various administrations, each one can have his vision when interpreting it" he said.

The mayor considered it too soon to know whether the chiringuito will be allowed to open, or indeed whether they will have to pay any indemnification to the developer. "We have to finish analysing the situation and then we will see what decision is taken, obviously, any decision will be according to our interpretation of the law”.

When asked by the Diario de Ibiza whether social pressure opposing the location of the building had been a factor, the mayor reiterated his previous response, that the activity could not have started without the corresponding activity licence. "At the time of giving this licence, we should have looked at the report. The same thing would have happened. No activity can be launched without the activity licence itself,” he said.

Jet2 have been operating into Ibiza for 13 years.

Jet2 Celebrate 5 Years of East Midlands to Ibiza Route, Plus 2 Million Passengers & Counting There is little argument that Jet2 are one of Ibiza’s most important names in the tourism industry.

This week they took 5 minutes out of their hectic flight schedule to mark the fifth year of their East Midlands to Ibiza route. During the ceremony, the traditional cake was cut and handed out to passengers arriving from the East Midlands.

Jet2 have been operating at Ibiza airport for 13 years during which, they have transported more than 2 million passengers on almost 15,000 flights between Ibiza and the UK. Last year saw the one of the highest number of travellers, thanks to a growth of 47% compared to 2016.

Jet2 have flown 2 million passengers on 15,000 flights to Ibiza since 2005 Jet2 bring more tourists to Ibiza than any other operator In 2017 Jet2 increased their Ibiza seats by 47% on 2016 Their fleet of 90 Boeing 737-800s will increase to 124 in 2019 In 2018 Jet2 fly from 9 UK airports to 14 Spanish destinations

More & Cheaper Residents’ Inter-Island Flights Predicted After 75% Travel Discount

President of the Government Francina Armengol met with airlines, shipping companies and travel agents in a bid to get their agreement not to increase prices for inter-island flights. Although Armengol was unable to get their commitment, the sector forecast that the increase in the discount will translate into more demand in the connections between islands and mainland, and an increase in the frequency is already planned.

The meeting was attended by Air Europa, Vueling, Iberia, Norwegian, Binter and Air Nostrum, in addition to the shipping companies Transmediterránea and Baleària, and the Association of Travel Agencies of the Balearic Islands (Aviba).

On behalf of the airlines, the commercial director of Air Nostrum Juan Corral said, “logic tells us that if there is more demand, there will be more competition". He also pointed out that "each company has its own pricing policy" and when asked about a possible increase he said, “when there is more demand and more supply, price competition increases", so he predicted a drop in the cost of tickets. "The demand will grow and passengers will pay less," was the airline's forecast.

Clubs Cry Foul (Continued from page 1)

clubs and some disco hotels, such as Ushuaïa in Playa den Bossa, also part of the Matutes Group of Companies.

Defending their position in court, Ribas and Tur presented documentation which they said demonstrated their innocence in taking action on violations, "regardless of the type of business in question."

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

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Page 4

Shebizan Amanda O’Riordan Welcome to this red-hot issue of Amanda Zips It Up. It’s another scorching Bank Holiday weekend here in London, and having just returned from a quick jaunt over to the Balearics, it’s pretty much “scorchio” all over Europe right now.

Good news for fans of Pimms, beers and barbecues.

But a word of caution. As the booze kicks-in, don't wear ripped jeans and sit directly in the line of the sun.

The combination of ripped jeans and UV rays creates unappealing burnt red legs stripes. I’ve experienced it, and it’s not funny.

As a sucker for roasting temperatures, there will be no blog next week as I’m off on holiday to Dubai with the family.

As if 31 degrees in Europe wasn’t enough, the Middle East beckons, to bake in a standard 40 degrees plus.

Expect to see me looking like Madge from Benidorm upon my return.

Everybody’s Doing Space This Year: Right, Perrie Space Ibiza Mesh T-Shirt, Bohoo £20, Centre, Asos Extreme Racer Space Ibiza T-Shirt (Outlet) 4.50€, Left, Primark, Space Vest, No Pricing, but Cheap as Chips.

Ibiza At Primark

Onto this week’s instalment and we check out Primark’s Ibiza and Space range for men, plus check out designer tights for those who don’t want to reveal bare flesh and for those who do – who will be maintaining their Toblerone Thigh Gap this summer?

Amanda x

Read Amanda’s fashion blog http://amandazipsitup.com/

Designer Tights

What do most fashion influencers have in common? Answer: they’re seriously into wearing tights, whatever the weather.

From Gucci numbers emblazoned with interlocking Gs to sheer Fendi numbers, the Insta-pack are bringing back this old school classic. With a heftier price tag as part of the package.

According to a global fashion search platform, Balenciaga tights searches soared by 19% last month. The favourite for the fash pack - the label’s chain-print tights.

And guess what, Kim Kardashian is largely responsible for the growing Insta-phenomenon. Since sharing a snap of herself in a seriously logo-heavy pair of Fendi tights, a snowball effect was set in motion. In fact, the Kardashian influence has rendered them a sell-out.

We all love Ibiza. Fact. Many of us spend our annual holidays on the white isle. Fact.

But what happens if you can’t get to the party capital of the world this summer, for whatever reason? Do you avoid social media completely, so as not to encounter FB and Insta friends parading in the pool at Ocean Beach Club, arms aloft at Amnesia or listening to blissful beats at The Blue Marlin?

In a word, “no”. But if we can’t be there, then let’s wear the T Shirt.

Perhaps a few steps down on the barometer from actual Ibiza, our faithful friends at Primark have pulled it out the bag, with this collection of Ibiza and now-departed superclub Space merchandise.

We’re talking tees, beach towels and hoodies, to make you feel like you were (almost) in Ibiza this summer.

Grab a £4/€5 Ibiza beach towel and work on that UK tan in your garden, thinking of Salinas beach. For the high-tempo, fun lovers amongst you, imagine you’re parading around Playa d’en Bossa in one of these tees. Or if you fancy a nostaligic keepsake, try one of these official Space T-shirts, to keep the memory of the iconic club alive.

The collection won’t break the bank either, and everything is either officially Space merchandise or Primark’s own Ibiza range.

Although it’s a menswear collection, we girls can rest assured that small or medium will fit us perfectly, so nobody needs to miss out.

Over at Gucci, the brand is still pulling its weight as one of this year’s ‘Its’, despite the fash pack’s reignited relationship with the likes of new-but-old Fendi and Baleciaga.

Sales of Gucci’s logo-centric tights rose by 39% last month. Sounds insane in this balmy weather, but I love them and have ordered mine.

Toblerone Thigh Gap

AS if it wasn't bad enough that we have to work on that thigh gap in time for bikini season, the new body must-have trend has been revealed as the "Toblerone Tunnel".

And while it's named after a chocolate bar, tucking into big old triangular Toblerone is the last thing to do if you want to flaunt one on the Med’s beaches this summer.

But what is it?

The science bit: Essentially, the triangular gap between a woman’s upper thighs just below their bikini bottoms.

Thankfully you don't need to be super skinny to pull off this look, as it works equally with curvy thighs and toned legs.

Show yours off in a black thong swimsuit if you dare, like these models, who also have eye-popping booty gaps.

Do you want the Toblerone Tunnel? Then how about a 40 minute run 3 times a week for the next month?

And if that doesn’t appeal, then tuck into a Toblerone rather than worrying if your thighs have the right angles.

Alan says “Toblerone addiction is a terrible curse in all its forms, be it through binge ingestion, or thigh clenching, you’ll never see the light at the end of that tunnel. Unlike hers, through which I can see light, and I have to say, very nice, very nice indeed. Don’t use Toblerone kids, one day you’ll thank me.”

I hope you’re paying me more for this, basically it constitutes health advice, way out of my hot-crime contract.

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

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Page 5

Food & Drink Jackfruit Our friends at Tapas restaurant tell us that Jackfruit has been a big hit, with their Pulled Jackfruit and Courgette Noodles dish (photo left) one of their most popular items on the menu.

But what is it? Despite it being seen increasingly on restaurant menus, nobody knows much about the Jackfruit, so here is our beginner’s guide.

Though an important part of Indian and South East Asian agriculture for millennia, in fact archaeological findings have shown Jackfruit to have been cultivated up to 6,000 years ago, it is a relatively recent addition to western menus.

The Jackfruit is huge. It is the largest tree-borne fruit in the world — one fruit can weigh between 5 and 50kg and contain hundreds of the seeds that are rich in protein, potassium, calcium, and iron.

It is hailed by some as the new miracle crop that could save the world from starvation. That may seem odd as it has been around for 6,000 years, but researchers have

suggested it could replace wheat, corn and other staple crops that may come under threat because of climate change as it is highly resistant to pests and drought and give a big nutritional return for the area of land it needs to grow on.

It has also become something of a rave food in Vegetarian and Vegan circles.

Beneath its tough gnarled exterior the seed pods taste somewhere between a pear and a pineapple. However it is its use in savoury dishes, particularly seen as a close approximation of pulled pork, which has those who opt for a meat-free diet excited.

Entertainment magazine E! cited it as a “hot new vegan ingredient” after spotting it taking pork belly’s place in baos (steamed buns) at Susan Feniger’s Street Food in LA. In London, vegan street-food and supper-club contingent Club Mexicana uses it in burritos and tacos to what the Guardian call “delicious effect”. They say it is their most popular dish by far, and suppliers are struggling to keep up with demand.

Meriel Armitage, Cook and owner of Club Mexicana, said in an interview that it has been around in Vegan inner circles for longer than people think. “It has been used for years by veterans of the vegan scene, but it has been kept a bit of a chef’s secret”.

Pulled jackfruit is made from the younger fruit – “green jackfruit”. Owner Becky told us all about it. “At Tapas we combine our shredded jackfruit with courgette noodles, and serve with a soy, orange, chilli and parsley dressing.

As to whether it tastes like pulled pork, to be honest opinion among our customers is divided. But as to whether it tastes good, there is far less difference in opinion -it has become one of our biggest sellers.”

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

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Page 6

News New ITV Regulations Sunday 20th May saw new ITV law come into effect Not all the new modifications to the ITV will be effective immediately, the new checks will be applied gradually and will not mean an increase in the cost of the ITV itself.

Part of the objective of amending the ITV is to align it with European Union guidelines as well as checking more elements of the vehicle and the greater detection of possible fraud.

Emissions Car manufacturers are capable of providing misleading data when it comes to emissions, because of this, a new diagnostic system is connected to the cars on board computer to detect possible traps.

In the case of poor emissions, results will not be binding until 10th September, after that date an error in the reading will mean a serious fault.

Safety The diagnostic system will also be checking the cars electronic components, it is estimated that a modern car has 100 electronic control units and 1000’s of components. Systems such as ABS, ESP, airbags, pre-tensioners, lighting and indicators will be checked to guarantee the safety of the vehicle.

Greater Flexibility Drivers have the option of using a ‘grace period’ of up to a month after the renewal date to attend the inspection while still maintaining the original renewal date. Similarly, if the vehicle does not pass, the driver will be able to attend a different ITV centre throughout the national territory within a month and without additional expense.

Imported And Historic Vehicles In the case of cars purchased in other EU countries, it will no longer be necessary to carry out an inspection in Spain as a step prior to their registration. The new ITV will validate certificates from other member states and the check will consist of verification of the documentation.

Drivers can request historical registration for cars over 30 years from initial registration, previously a vehicle could be registered historic after only 25. Historic vehicle ITV’s entail special conditions at the time of inspection and tax reductions.

Another new feature will affect rental vehicles, which must be reviewed every four years instead of every two.

Concept Hotels open Cubanito in Cala Gracio Claire B Cubanito Ibiza Suites, the latest hotel from the Concept Hotel Group is now open in Cala Gració and is bringing a little bit of Havana and the essence of Cuban style to the area. The 4th boutique hotel in the group sees them branching out of Playa d’en Bossa, where they already have Santos, Tropicana and Dorado, into the San Antonio area. A 5th hotel, the Paradiso Art Hotel is due to open in the bay area in the second week of June. But back to Cubanito, as well as exquisitively-designed suites, the hotel comprises: Little Havana, a tropical garden with a pergola A colonial style pool, with sunbeds in the water The Malecón, the rooftop bar from which to see the incredible sunset The Lobby “Buena Vista Social Club”, in homage to the

Fire Station Sa Coma Move The Consell de Ibiza plans to move the fire station of Sant Rafel to the site of the former military barracks of Sa Coma, with a planned cost of 7.2 million euros.

Cala Vadella Parking & Cala De Bou Roadworks

The Sant Josep Tourist Board have met today to discuss the start to the 2018 summer season.

It was agreed that occupancy figures were positive, and noted that the first illegal vendors were now operating.

Cala Vadella Parking The meeting also received a presentation on new parking facilities for Cala Vadella, which are considered to be urgently required to reduce the chaotic problems of last year following the withdrawal of previously available parking facilities by the new landowner.

The town hall have reached agreement with a landowner for use of 8,000 square meters located to the North of Cala Vedella, near the new lookout that was opened in the spring.

According to the calculations of the City Council, the lands could accommodate 150-200 vehicles for public use, at a distance of some 300-350 meters from the beach.

The parking area will be managed by the Vesins Association of Cala Vedella, through an agreement with the landowner.

Cala De Bou Roadworks The meeting was chaired by Sant Josep Mayor, Josep Marí Ribas. Speaking of the roadworks to both the upper and lower arterial roads of Cala De Bou, that started at the beginning of the tourist season, Mayor Ribas said that he was “very aware of the inconvenience they are causing.”

“The works could have been done before, we are not happy.

But postponing the problem meant that there would be continuing problems throughout the summer” he added.

The institution plans to finance at least 50% of the infrastructure and in principle look for alternative ways, such as the collection of sustainable tax to fund the rest. The other option is for the municipalities to contribute half the cost of the new park. The institution also plans on creating a consortium with the five municipalities to manage the service, and request a significant increase in the economic contributions of each municipality.

According to this year’s budget, the expenditure of the fire station currently stands at 4.4 million euros (2.5 million in staff payment). In 2017, the five municipalities contributed a total of 212,000 euros, dependent on the number of inhabitants.

The president, Vicent Torres, has delivered a draft agreement with the new distribution of the financial cost of this service, although later when reporting to the media, he refused to specify the figures.

As far as the Diario de Ibiza could ascertain, the proposal is that the Consell is responsible for half of the costs and the other is distributed by municipalities according to their number of inhabitants. Thus, with this year's budget as a reference, the Consell proposes to assume the charge of 1.8 million euros and Ibiza will contribute 638,230 euros; Santa Eulària, 470,081 euros; Sant Josep, 335,745 euros; Sant Antoni, 324,843 euros and Sant Joan, 78,091.

Two Sub-Parks Apart from the construction of a new fire station in sa Coma to replace Sant Rafel, the Consell also projects the construction of two sub-parks to improve the response times in an emergency, with a cost of 2.2 million euros. It is also considered necessary to double the current staff workforce from 51 to a hundred, which would mean that the annual maintenance budget of the fire station will be 6.7 million euros.

The mayor of Vila, Rafa Ruiz, stressed that this proposal implies 'a change in the rules of the game'. “We are about to improve the service, but our financial and legal services have to study it. Soon we will give an answer," he emphasised.

For its part, the mayor of Santa Eulària, Vicent Mar, said that "nobody questions the need to improve the service", but,

historic band.

Opening party

Cubanito has been open for a couple of weeks, but has its opening party on Saturday May 26 from 7-11pm. With DJs Silvia Superstar, Néstor, Marcos Torres, Jordi Cardona and live music from Ricardito y la Banda. It’s going to be one stylish party - dress code is a la Cuban - white hats, pastel blazers, colourful dresses and big earrings are the order of the day.

Salsero

Tuesday nights sees Salsero night at Cubanita. Learn to dance the Cuban way on Cubanito’s rooftop during the sunset, with Latin dance, mojitos and food. Feel like you are in La Habana Bay and let yourself go. Free.

Cubanito Ibiza Suites is at Calle Nuno Sanç 3, Cala Gració, San Antonio. apart from questioning that the constitution of a consortium is the most appropriate way to manage the service, he said that they will have to study and "profile" the economic proposal because they are "important quantities". "We have to look at it calmly," he added.

Transformation of sa Coma The president also presented to the mayors the reconversion project of sa Coma a "park of services". The Consell plans to carry out 15 projects in the old military compound to adapt the facilities for the following services: the new insular fire station, the Military Emergency Unit (UME), the 112, the Ibanat, the Official School of Languages, a hospitality school, the Tourist Observatory of Ibiza, social services, an animal recovery centre and the motocross circuit.

Also planned are the construction of a new access to Sa Coma, a car park and the legalisation of the existing perforation for its use in case of emergency.

Torres stressed that it is "an ambitious plan". The first project to be executed is the hospitality school that the Consell presented at the last Fitur tourism fair in Madrid. The works will be put out to tender soon with the idea, according to the president, to start this year.

The School of Arts and Crafts doesn’t appear in this initial project, as the president said he is waiting for the Ministry of Education to approve the transfer. It would be located next to the Hospitality School, Torres indicated.

Boats Ibiza Enter Hall of fame

Honours have been bestowed on local charter company Boats Ibiza, as following five successive years of achieving the prestigious Tripadvisor certificate of excellence, they have been confirmed as members of the holiday recommendation and review portal’s Hall of Fame.

Marc Charron, President of TripAdvisor for Business, said that winning the TripAdvisor Certificate of Excellence for five consecutive years is a remarkable feat. TripAdvisor is pleased to induct five-time award winners into the ‘Hall of Fame.’ By putting a spotlight on businesses that are focused on consistently delivering great service to customers, TripAdvisor not only helps drive an improvement to hospitality standards around the world, it also gives businesses both large and small the ability to shine and stand out from the competition.

Jane Charilaou for Boats Ibiza said, “we think it’s a massive honour to get this award, based as it is, on genuine guest reviews for many years running”.

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

For Ibiza news direct to your inbox, subscribe at theibizan.com

Page 7

Tourist Guide San Antonio Food & Drink

See adverts on facing page, front page & food and drink page for contacts, hours, and location.

Tapas Restaurant and Lounge Bar One top tip to start with—it is best to book. Tapas is one of the most popular places to eat in San An, and in the height of summer you may have quite a wait to get seated if you haven't booked in advance.

Tapas is all about global flavours, but served in a traditional Spanish Tapas style of small plates perfect for sharing. They have a fantastic range of vegan, vegetarian, gluten free and dairy free options on the menu too.

Mambo No trip to Ibiza is complete without a sunset on the strip, and if you want to do it in the finest style, Mambo has to be the place to go.

Portinax, One of Ibiza’s North Coast resorts and beaches.

Welcome to Ibiza

Their terrace enjoys spectacular views of the sunset, and you’ll be entertained by some of the world’;s top DJs with Mambos nightly pre-party warm up.

Es Porxu Time to take a step away from the crowds—and breathe! Es Porxu is tucked away just a few footsteps from the vibrant heart of san Antonio, but it may as well be in another world.

The bar serves wonderful platters of mixed cheese and ham—it sounds so simple, but pair it up with a good wine and we’ll bet you’ll look back on it as one of your holiday’s finest eating experiences.

The bar also extends out into their own art gallery with some exciting exhibitions, mainly of local artists, two of whom are the owners of Es Porxu, so you can’t get much more local than that.

Mar 5 MAR 5 is an elegant venue near the port of San Antonio. On the first floor the restaurant has a wonderful terrace where you can enjoy their Argentinian grill menu. Serving the very best cuts of meat and delicious fish along with their famous homemade desserts - a treat for the palate.

The ground floor is for lovers, lovers of gin and tonic and a party, and if you are with somebody you love, all the better.

Open until 05:00 am, it offers a variety of musical alternatives: from R & B, House and Techno to Flamenco or Salsa.

Summer hours; kitchen 7pm-3am, Club 7pm-5am.

Tulp Beach Café Tulp Beach Café is located right on San Antonio’s beachfront Promenade. An oasis of bohemian chic laid back cool, it is our default choice for daytime calm, and a regular one for nigh time fun too.

Tulp offer an extensive drink and cocktail selection, and a menu to suit every appetite from a tasty tapas to Dutch and international meals. Tulp has spectacular sunset views, and cosy front row booths can be booked online via their website.

See front page advert for details.

On behalf of all of us who live and work in Ibiza, most of whom earn our living directly or indirectly from the tourism sector, we welcome you to the Island. The Ibizan has been our island English language newspaper since 1999.

We now produce a monthly tourism special edition, which you will hopefully find available in your Hotel reception.

The monthly special is a much bigger newspaper entirely focussed on you the tourist, It includes resort guides to all of the major tourist areas, a huge agenda of things to do for the month, and an insight to the Island history and culture.

In this, our regular weekly edition, the next 4 pages are provided as a compact guide—with useful maps and information on our supporting advertisers—restaurants, clubs, bars, shops and much more besides.

You will also find lots of useful information in the agenda pages, clubbing and food & drink.

For more information, and an online version of the monthly special if you cannot find one in your accommodation, go to our website theibizan.com We hope you will have a fantastic time, and will be on the way to becoming one of our many frequent flyer visitors.

Nicholas Gibbs, Editor La Cantina Portmany La Cantina is a bar and restaurant right on San Antonio’s fountains square. A local legend, it has stood in the same spot and run by the same family since way back when it was by some way the biggest building on the waterfront in what was an unrecognisable San Antonio.

With a pedigree of such distinction, you won’t find a better place for a traditional Paella or some fresh caught local fish.

But it also offers far more. The La Cantina kitchen is also home to 3 specialist chefs each taking care over their respective Thai, Indian and TexMex division.

David’s Pizzeria David’s is renowned for its Italian-French cuisine and they have a vast menu, including 35 different pizzas to choose from, plus the option of turning any one into Calzone.

But if pizza’s not your thing, they also have a selection of pastas, salads, fish and meat dishes to tempt you.

David’s also offer a takeaway service and a menu del dia for 12.50€, available till 8.30pm .

Entertainment Eden

Eden’s no expense spared refit has resulted in a club at the forefront of its peers, but retaining the legendary status as one of Ibiza’s seven-sisters superclubs.

That no expense spared also ran to a Void sound system that is not only one of the best in Ibiza, but worldwide. A flagship Void install, in the right hands the music at Eden will make you feel music as you have never felt it before.

See our ‘At Night’ and ‘Agenda’ sections for what’s on.

Plastik Plastik holds top spot as San Antonio’s premier pre-party bar.

Putting the VIP experience within reach of non-VIP pockets, it is the perfect place to experience some style for a night out, or as a party starter for later clubbing.

Plastik’s masterful resident DJs are joined most nights of the week by headliners from some of Ibiza’s biggest club nights.

Viva Tennis With 5 top quality courts (2 clay, 3 artificial grass), a bar, pool,

sun-terrace and beautiful garden Viva Tennis is the essential destination on Ibiza to play tennis and relax with friends.

Whether you are a complete beginner or regular player their team of international coaches can improve anyone’s game.

San Antonio Bay Food & Drink

Little India, Authentic Sri Lankan & Indian Restaurant The restaurant that puts the Bom in the Bay, Chef Vipula puts his Sri Lankan heritage into every delicious dal, beautiful biriyani and majestic madras that leaves his kitchen. Unsurprisingly, it can get busy in the summer months, so if planning ahead a booking on their website is a good idea. If exhausted by a hard day on the beach, a take-away service is available to be enjoyed back in the hotel – expect neighbour-envy as those glorious smells waft across the balcony.

Johnny’s Pub, Established 1993 Johnny’s is a Bay institution. Popular with locals and tourists alike, they are open for food to eat in and takeaway from morning through to late—usually very late, and at some point on your holiday, you’ll be glad of that.

We locals can’t have their exceptional English breakfast (above) as often as we’d like, but you’re on holiday, so indulge yourself. Just 4,75€ gets you double British sausage and bacon, double egg, tomatoes, mushrooms, beans, fried slice, toast and tea or coffee—plus a portion of jam for reasons we’ve never fully understood.

Relish Restaurant & Lounge Bar Just footsteps from the beach of Cala De Bou, the restaurant and bar extends into a large covered terrace, gardens and a private pool for the exclusive use of relish patrons. Plus on Sundays Relish offers a traditional Sunday Roast.

Relish pride themselves on a simple philosophy - good food, cooked well, fairly priced.

(Continued on page 10)

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

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Page 8

Look Out For Our Bumper Edition In Your Hotel R theibiza

Ibiza Town

Playa Den B

Es Canar

Santa Eulalia

Cala Llonga

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

r Monthly Tourist Special Reception, or Online at an.com

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San Antonio Bay

San Antonio

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The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

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Page 10

Tourist Guide Entertainment Guarana Nightclub, Santa Eulalia Marina A visit to one of Ibiza’s huge super-clubs may be on your holiday to do list. But seasoned clubber or not, you’ll enjoy a night at Santa Eulalia’s only late night club—a munch more intimate and friendly affair than it’s bigger sisters.

Located directly on Santa Eulalia marina waterfront, if you dance til dawn you will also be treated to the spectacular sight of an Ibiza dawn rising over the sea. Sunset is for your mates, sunrise is for your soul-mate.

Viva Cala Llonga Viva Cala Llonga At last the summer season is here again and so is the Thursday evening Hippie Market in Cala Llonga. The market takes place every Thursday evening from 6pm with an array of locally hand crafted articles such as clothes, jewellery, trinkets, pottery and much more, produced by some of Ibiza's finest artisans all at reasonable prices. Located on the promenade it's a perfect place to wander along under the evening stars while listening to live music, looking for a perfect gift, souvenir or personal treat. In addition to this there's a wide variety of international bars and restaurants for you to enjoy and a safe playground for the little ones. There's ample free parking just a few metres away.

The spectacular Ibiza Old Town capped with the Dalt Vila Booking with immediate confirmation is available on the website.

More Great Food You’ll also find great food in Donnegans Irish Pub, Playa Bella and Kumharas—all of whom are listed in the entertainment section.

Also we have to recommend going local during your stay.

Nothing beats a long lazy lunch of fresh cooked paella on the beach with a jug or three of sangria to wash it down.

Entertainment The Watersports Shop

A most welcome addition to the lower bay road (carrer des calo) in 2017, the watersports shop have a huge range of bookable activities on and under the water, for individuals and groups.

Browse their range of jetskis, stand up paddle, seadoos, speedboat trips, and the awesome hoverboard and flyboard sessions, from the comfort of their shop, and then take the activity from any of their four beach concessions—which makes them one of the biggest watersports operators in Ibiza.

If not near the shop you can also book online via their website.

See ad right for details and location.

Peppers2 Party Bar Dance till dawn? You betcha, and we don’t want any of that ‘I’m too old for all that now’ nonsense either. In Ibiza there is no such thing as too old, and Peppers2 is a fine example of an all night party bar that will see everybody from barely legal to rather regal bopping the night away. See the agenda for special events, but every night you are guaranteed a warm welcome from Chaz and the team. Take a cocktail or two on the terrace, then head inside to show us your moves.

Donnegans Irish Pub It is hard to know what category to list Donnegans, as they do many things, and do them all very well. Day and night it is a bar with a welcome as warm as the draught Guiness and magners are cold. They show all sports including hurling, and have a great menu of reasonabl;y priced home cooked food from snacks to full meals.

But it is perhaps their entertainment that really sets them apart. With a regular line up of live performers with the common denominator of making sure everyone has a great time.

Check our agenda and their facebook for events.

Playa Bella Cabaret Terrace Fancy some good old family cabaret? The Playa Bella apartments kick off with nightly cash Bingo hosted by our own mister thriller from Aston Villa, Chip, and once your eyes are restored to their regular horizontal position, the night continues with a roster of live cabaret featuring everything from tribute acts to comedy to drag and some very talented musical acts.

All this takes place on their beachfront terrace which also has a great range of food available day and night.

Only In Ibiza

Grow Submarine, Head Shop The days of the straw donkey are as dead as a dropped donkey. What Grandma really wants as a gift from your Ibiza adventure is the latest in acrylic bong technology. Don’t know what to get your mates at work—how about some matching grinders?

Of course it doesn’t have to be a gift, what better way to fill that last space in the suitcase than with some stock from Grow Submarine’s extensive range of cannabis culture stock?

From Rizla’s up, though we warn you that attempting to board a Ryanair flight with a full hydrophonic growing system may incur excess baggage fees.

Santa Eulalia Food & Drink

Los Otros, Vegan & Vegetarian Restaurant, Santa Eulaia There can be little doubting the vegan credentials of Los Otros, as not only do they offer a fine range of Italian food, the owner is an authoritative author of vegan cookbooks too.

The setting is magical. Just meters from the water on the marina front of Santa Eulalia, your visit will have the reassuringly relaxing soundtrack of the clinking masts of moored yachts.

Sa Brasa, Grill Restaurant, Santa Eulalia Though you can see Sa Brasa’s exact location on our map below, as long as you are in the right general area the incredible aroma of the grills will guide you the last few metres.

Cast all thoughts of a British barbeque aside– Ibiza’s best grill restaurants, of which Sa Brasa is undoubtedly one, take the concept of charcoal grilling to another level. The emphasis is all about providing the very best quality cuts of meat, and fresh fish that may well have been swimming within sight of the restaurant earlier the same day.

You need to have a grill meal at least once while you are here, but if you do it early in your holiday our bet is you’ll be back for more.

Mariposa Pool Bar & Restaurant, Cala Llonga The idea of ‘living the dream’ under the Mediterranean sun becomes reality at the Mariposa. Nestled in the hills behind the Cala Llonga village, and with spectacular views out over the bay, the Mariposa team and regulars will give you the warmest of welcomes.

Start your day with a bacon and brie toasted sandwich and café con leche, followed by a dip in the pool, and sip on some cocktails from your poolside lounger. Heaven.

Ibosim Brewhouse Port Des Torrent Ibosim BrewHouse is the first microbrewery on the island of Ibiza. They brew a range of Beers that would be perfectly at home in a UK beer festival.

Not to be confused with, or dismissed because of, the crop of beers that have put an average lager in a fancy bottle and crowbarred Ibiza into the name somehow, Ibosim are the real deal.

Ibosim was the name given to the island of Ibiza by the Carthaginians and means Isle of the god Bes. It is a very apt name for a beer, as the wee Bes was considered the god of good mood and fun. Many refer to him as the party god.

We are big fans in the Ibizan office. My personal favourites are the Summer Ale, which also affords the first opportunity in many years to create a ‘Light & Bitter’, and the Rosemary Ale.

Rosemary Ale Rosemary Rural Ale, 6% ABV | 25 IBU Rosemary, is our most rural beer. It is an amber beer with sweet hints and notes of spices thanks to the addition of orange peel and rosemary.

Review by Nick Gibbs “I know what you are thinking, so am pleased to reassure you that it doesn’t taste anything of Rosemary.

Actually it does, but I know hearing that would put many a beer drinker off. It is more a background note, really subtle.

The important thing to stress is that it is not some hippy dippy vegan thing, it is not the same as comparing sweet jasmine and mint tea to PG Tips. This is very much the PG Tips end of the beer spectrum.

I was never a huge bitter drinker in the UK. It was a once in a while thing. A Sunday lunchtime with trad jazz kind of thing.

Rosemary fills that gap very nicely.

Whether or not it is your personal taste, from a pure brewing perspective, I think for anybody who knows anything about beer, a taste of Ibosim’s Rosemary Rural Ale will immediately tell you these guys are serious about their beer and about the brewing process.”

cervezaibosim.com

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

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Agenda Nobu Hotel Dramatised Tours of the D’alt Vila – Saturdays 7pm Every Saturday take a tour with audio guide round the Dalt Vila. Under 7s free, 7-16yrs 5€, adults 10€. Discounts for pensioners, families. A deposit of 30€ is required for audio guide lease. To book call 971399232 or email informacioturistica@eivissa.es

Champions League Final, Saturday 26th May. Ibiza Legend and Liverpool Fan Mo Chaudry, who died tragically last year, will be remembered at the final in Ukraine.

Ongoing Art Exhibition “Fragmentum” by Danchú, Thu-Sun 7-10pm, Can Curt Cultural Centre, San Agusti, until 3rd June Danchú applies a realistic technique to his works, with surrealist overtones and psychedelic reminiscences. "Art is the translator of my subconscious, existential experimentation is my muse and

teacher, climbing, my guide".

V Festival Barruguet, Teatro Espana and Palau de Congresso Santa Eulalia, 24th—28th May 2 Hour Kayak Excursion, Talamanca Beach, 10.30am, free To reserve your place send a whatsapp to +34 665 139 198 with your name, required size of short wetsuit and life jacket. Meet in front of

Art & Mercat, Casa Antiguo, San Antonio, 9-4pm, ecological products, art music and handicrafts, Saturdays, Jun—Sep 524pm

May Sat 26 Champions League Final, Real Madrid v Liverpool 8.45pm, everywhere, it will be harder to find somewhere not showing the game.

V Festival Barruguet, Santa Eulalia,

Ibiza Burlesque Festival The premier event of the festival ‘Bass & Tease’ @ Heart Ibiza with a burlesque nightclub show. From 11pm till late. €50 (€30 in advance) Las Dalias Hippy Market Mercat de Forada, local & ecological market San Jordi Flea Market Dramatised Tours of the D’alt Vila - see ‘ongoing’

Barruguet Family Festival Santa Eulalia, 24-28 May Over 20 shows performed by numerous companies, tickets are on sale now on their website and at the Teatro Espana between 5-9€. There are also plenty of free activities including circus workshops, shows and the garden playroom.

The Barruguet* Festival of Family Theatre takes place each year on the fourth weekend of May in Santa Eulalia.

Three days filled with culture, magic and fun for all ages, including very young children, as it even features shows for babies and toddlers.

Each year’s programme presents a wide range of genres: theatre, puppets, clown, circus, dance, music, street theatre.

Due to the diversity and versatility of the venues, which include unconventional spaces, organisers have included in the programme medium-large scale performances, to those very small in scale.

The festival has excellent information available in English, Spanish and Catalan, including a fully translated programme of events. Image from ‘Kissu’

Cubanito Ibiza Suites Opening Party Cala Gració, from 7-11pm.

With DJs Silvia Superstar, Néstor, Marcos Torres, Jordi Cardon and live music from Ricardito y la Banda. Dress code is Cuban – think white hats, pastel blazers, colourful dresses and big earrings.

Pure Pacha/Paris By Night, Opening Party, Pacha, Ibiza, 11.59pm Ushuaïa Ibiza Opening Party/ANTS Takeover #2, Playa d’en Bossa, 2pm

Flamenco Puro Irene ‘La Sentio’, Mar 5, San Antonio, 10pm Mar 5 bring Irene ’La Sentio’ from Seville in this Flamenco Spectacular, 8€ advance, 10€ advance seat, 10€ on the door Pukka Up Tropical Wonderland Opening Party, Eden, San Antonio, 11.59pm

www.festivalbarruguet.com

Elrow Ibiza

*The barruguet is a legendary character, which can be described as being very naughty and a little rogue...

Opening Party, Amnesia, San Rafael, 11.59pm

Black Coffee Opening, Hi Ibiza, 11.59pm Black Coffee, &ME, Audiofly, Blond:ish, Guy Mantzur, Housekeeping, Mandar, Salomé, Serge Devant, Themba

Sun 27 English Speaking Church of Ibiza & Formentera Sunday Service—details at www.ibizachurch.org

1st Dem-li Gasss of Ibiza, Slalom & Drift The road in front of IES Sant Agusti (the high school next to Es Vedra school), 9am, Celebrating the Automovil Club Ibiza’s 25 anniversary.

Ibiza Burlesque Festival, Relax @ Santos with summer beats. From 2pm onwards. Free

Ibiza Burlesque Festival Burlesque classes @ Heart Ibiza. ‘Sex A Peel’ with Sheila Starr Siani from 4-5pm.

‘Fantastic Fans’ (learn a burlesque fan routine) with Sapphira from 5-6pm. Both classes are suitable for beginners to intermediate and cost €30 (€20 in advance) V Festival Barruguet, Santa Eulalia, 2 Hour Kayak Excursion, Talamanca Beach, 10.30am, free, reservation required, see ‘ongoing’

‘Forever Sinatra’ Concert Can Jeroni, Sant Josep, 7pm, Diego Román sings his most memorable songs San Juan Market Funky Monkey, Guarana, Santa Eulalia , 9pm Solomun +1 Opening Party, Pacha, Ibiza, 11.59pm

Mon 28 Flower Power Opening Party Pacha, Ibiza, 11.59pm V Festival Barruguet, Santa Eulalia, See Article Las Dalias Night Market Hed Kandi Opening Party, Ocean Beach, San Antonio, 12noon

Tue 29 First Salsero night at Cubanita Ibiza Suites in Cala Gracio. Learn to dance the Cuban way on Cubanito´s rooftop - sunset, Latin dance, mojitos and food. Free

Wed 30

‘Pin Up Sound’ (30’s Swing) - Live Music at Punta Arabi, 2pm, the big tent in Punta Arabi Hippy Market

Cocoon Ibiza Opening Party Pacha, Ibiza, 11.59pm, Sven Väth & Âme, Room 2 Dana Ruh & Dorian Paic

Thu 31 Cala Llonga Hippy Market from 6pm

June Fri 1 Salsa show at Mar 5, San Antonio, 11pm-3am Restless Ibiza @ Dunes, Playa d’en Bossa, 8pm5am, free With DJs Graham Sahara, Will Taylor, Arkoss, Steve Altman, and Mario Badlock. Restless Ibiza is a new club brand and soon to be launched record label dedicated to upbeat house music.

Religion Fac51 / The Hacienda — Opening Party Eden, San Antonio, Children Of The 80’s Opening Party, Hard Rock Hotel, Playa d’en Bossa, 7pm. With The Original Gypsies of Camargue (former members of The Gypsy Kings).

Ibiza Rocks Opening Pool Party Day 1San Antonio, Rudimental, Sonny Fodera, Oneman, Octavian, from 2pm

Glitterbox Opening Party

Hi Ibiza, Playa d’en Bossa, Basement Jaxx (DJ set), Dimitri From Paris, Roger Sanchez, Aeroplane, Purple Disco Machine, Melvo Baptiste

Sat 2 Las Dalias Hippy Market Festival de Forada 2018 Mercat de Forada, Buscastell, with workshops, ecological projects, live music, food and the local & ecological market, 117pm San Jordi Flea Market Dramatised Tours of the D’alt Vila - see ‘ongoing’ Ibiza Rocks Opening Pool Party Day 2Craig David, Kojo Funds, DJ Q, Amy Becker, from 2pm

Mon 4 Opening night of Heart Live! @ Heart Ibiza. New Rock ‘n’ Roll night with live music from Vargas and Undercover. From 11pm.

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

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Page 12

Community

A-HA! Or, as I like to say to my new Spanish fans, A-JA! People are always saying to me, ‘Alan, where have you been?’, but sometimes now they are saying ‘Alan, ¿dónde has estado?’, which is a clue to where I have been, and the answer I give them when they ask that question is, I’ve been in Spain.

I should point out that if you want to ask me that question in Spanish I will only give you an answer, in English, if there is someone close by who can tell me what you are saying. But go ahead, if you must ask me in Spanish, do so. It’s a free country. Hasn’t been for long granted, but it

is now, and that’s all that matters. To most people. Actually I say most, there are lots of people here who won’t let it go, and if I can help in any way to restore peace and harmony to what is essentially a broken land, I am available, subject to outstanding contractual commitments—I mean I can’t let the guys down at Costa Blanca (in English, white coast) financial services. They rely on my face to gain the trust of ex-pats to say ‘yes, despite the salesman having the baring of, and probably being, an ex cockney villain, I will entrust my funeral planning with your

company. I’ll do it because my confidence in Alan Partridge outweighs my lack of confidence in you. To put it simply, I am quite literally, commercial gold—great name for a radio station.

But providing reconciliation talks can be arranged outside of our monthly breakfast buffet seminars at the Benidorm Playa del Sol (In English please—it’s beach of sun), I’m your man.

Talking of ex cockney villains, that’s what I am here to talk about. Scum. Specifically scum on the run. In the sun!

Don’t get me wrong, I like Benidorm a lot. Its tower block skyline gives me the reassurance of a city in a developed country like good old Britannia, but without the same level of ethnic diversity that usually comes hand in hand with UK city centres. Looking out from my balcón (balcony) across the city and for a moment I can forget about the lack of sanitation and frankly shocking electrical and plumbing standards. You might be in Europe Spain, but we don’t need to look at a map to see you are closest to Africa. Gibraltar excluded of course, where I understand the quality of utilities is broadly speaking on a par with the U.K. Despite Benidorm’s many charms - for example, interesting fact that it has at least twice the number of bars selling John Smiths on draught as anywhere in England. Just England mind, not Scotland. I don’t have the figures, but they obviously drink more in Scotland than, well, anywhere really. But I digress, despite Benidorm’s many charms it does have one drawback. The Costa Blanca (refer back) does attract a lot of very unsavoury characters. It is the number one choice for Brits on the run from the ‘filth’ following their last disastrous ‘caper’. I mean look at the two featured in this week’s capture, you can see why they would think to come and hide here, they would blend right in. I could walk down to the lobby bar right now and find any number of equally retarded looking

TELEVISION, SATELLITE & INTERNET SERVICES

H

owever much we may aspire to ‘live the dream’ under the Mediterranean sun, there are a few things from our native land that are commonly missed among the British & Irish community in Ibiza.

Internet Not so long ago, Ibiza had universally poor internet service, which in some areas offered little more than dial up modem connection speeds.

Things are changing, and those parts of the Island covered by

Fibre Optic enjoy 300mb speeds that exceed those back in Blighty—but there are still many areas of Ibiza that have very patchy service at best.

Satellite and 4g internet reaches the parts fixed connections cannot, and though other services are available, that offered by Fusion has the added advantage of operating through a UK VPN, giving access to all UK location reliant services without any additional software or connection gizmos.

Television Our refusal to give up sports & soaps has meant UK Satellite TV has been available in Spain for many years, however all of Satellite Solutions, A.H. Satellite and Fusion, also offer a range of alternatives including IPTV running through your internet connection, and multi channel boxes that take your TV beyond our native shores to global services with the sports fan’s reassurance of ‘if it’s on, you can get it’.

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

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Page 13

Community Brits from the same very limited gene pool. In fact I made a hilarious joke about that just the other day. A pair of jeans had blown off a balcony (balcón) into the swimming pool, and seeing the opportunity for a piece of classic Alan, I went into the bar and said to all and sundry, “there are as many jeans in the hotel pool as there are genes in the hotel bar”. They didn’t get it, I could see the self loathing on their faces, hating themselves for being unable to grasp comedy that really needed a grammar school audience.

Anyway, back to the Scum, when The Ibizan newspaper contacted me to ask if I would write a column on the hot topic of UK criminals in Spain, I was delighted! I’d love to do my bit, I said, subject to my usual fee. Look, if I’m honest, it was a pretty tough negotiation. There are a lot of people out there who think I’m washed up. But I’m not.

We were in a conference call and I said, I might be an expat, but I’m not an ex-par. And once I’d explained it by adding ‘tridge’, adding a pause after par, I had them by the Spanish maracas. I knew it, they knew it, I am still, very much, Alan Partridge.

Scum On The Run 1 The VAT Rats

One escaped by light aircraft to France, the other took a ferry. If it wasn’t for their holdalls full of ill gotten cash you’d think it was a Top Gear cross Europe special. But no. This was not an episode of the best use of licence payer’s money since Andrea Rippon did that dance with Eric and Ernie, This was crime. Big crime.

Father and son Jamie and Brian Cowell, I don’t know which one’s which, take your pick, and by the looks of it they might be brothers too, Father and son, and brothers, Jamie and Brian Cowell fled the UK with over 1 million

pounds in Royal British sterling following a VAT scam where they abused the VAT man, and whatever people say he’s got a job to do like anyone else.

Actually, writing this is quite boring. I mean I think I’ve given pretty good value already. Lynn, can you take over please.

Lynn—add the next bit, all that about what they did, and he said and they said. Let me know when you’ve done. I’m going to get a Café con Leche, it’s just milky coffee. I’ll just add notes later.

Tax Fugitives Behind Bars

Father, Son, probably Brothers. The Cowells

Father and son tax fugitives are finally behind bars after being captured in Spain and extradited to the UK. The £1 million VAT fraudster tried to avoid jail by fleeing to France in a light aircraft, while his accomplice father escaped by ferry before they both headed to Spain.

Former Sandbanks resident Jamie Colwell, 51, will today begin his prison sentence of five years and three months for stealing almost £1 million in VAT repayments on new -build houses that never existed. His father, Brian Colwell, 76, of Bournemouth, will start his two year and eight month jail term.

The pair were tracked down by HM Revenue and Customs investigators and their overseas partners (ooh, kinky) to a villa near Benidorm (told you), where they were arrested

by Guardia Civil officers (the Police) on the evening of 9 May 2018.

They were returned to the UK on 23rd May and immediately taken into custody overnight before appearing at Bournemouth Crown Court by video link (whatever next, they’re not child sex victims for heaven’s sake) on 24 May. The men are now starting their jail terms for their part in the VAT repayment fraud.

Richard Wilkinson, Assistant Director, Fraud Investiga-

tion Service, HMRC, said: “The Colwells thought they could evade prison and use their criminal cash to fund a new life on the Costa Blanca but they were wrong. With close cooperation from our international law enforcement partners we tracked the fugitives down, so they can now look forward to jail instead.

“HMRC is determined to ensure absconders face justice.

We will pursue those criminals who blatantly steal from the public services we all rely on, and look to recover the proceeds of their crimes from current and future wealth.

“We encourage anyone with information about tax fugitives or suspected tax fraud to report it online, or to contact our Fraud Hotline on 0800 788 887.”

Thanks Lynn. I’ll see you next time readers, providing my cheque clears, which by the look of this lot is by no means certain.

I’m Alan Partridge, A-JA (A-HA) In a randomly unconnected footnote, The Ibizan newspaper sincerely hopes that Steve Coogan would be the kind of person to think ‘fan tribute by people of no commercial significance’ before ‘blatant copyright infringement’, however should this not be the case we fall back to our professional indemnity position of having nothing whatsoever worth taking.

LOCAL SERVICES & CLASSIFIEDS

Male age 58 seeking full season job. (English)

All offers considered, all types of work, experience in building maintenance, kitchen porter, cooking, cleaning. Accommodation preferred. Available April - Sep

ghoare3@me.com (883)

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

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Page 14

Community

Weather

Friday 25th May—Thursday 31st May 2018

Saturday 26

23º

Real Feel 31º

Sunday 27

Sat 26

Sat 2

21:09 23º

Real Feel 31º

Monday 28

21:15

23º

Tuesday 29

24º

Saturday 2

Real Feel 31º

23º

Real Feel 31º

ARIES – Six of Pentacles

Financial luck rides high as recent investments begin to pay off.

Money comes from unexpected sources helping you to balance your budget more effectively. It does mean though you will be super busy, but that OK as you see it’s worth it in the long term.

If you’ve any outstanding debts you help yourself and others by paying them off.

Wednesday 30

23º

Real Feel 31º

Thursday 31

23º

Real Feel 31º

Friday 1

Real Feel 31º

23º

Real Feel 31º

TAURUS – Page of Cups

For some, matters concerning a child's well-being is your top priority this week. By paying attention and listening you’ll be able to assess their needs and address any worries, either at home or at school. For others it’s a week when you receive some good news that you've been waiting for making it easy to relax for a bit.

GEMINI - The Lovers

Speak from your heart this week and you'll be able to make satisfactory progress especially in one meaningful relationship.

The choices you make now will have far reaching consequences so think carefully and bear in mind the feelings of others before announcing any new plan or change in strategy; especially if you need their emotional support or financial backing.

CANCER – Nine of Wands

If you feel in a rut or life’s a tad stagnant, then this is the week to spring clean your attitude and make decisions that see you taking more risks than usual. Get with the plot over a career issue; others will want to call the shots before you've had a chance to get your point across so act fast.

LEO – Three of Pentacles

A wonderful week to consolidate business opportunities; you’ve plenty of enthusiasm and are excited about your prospects. This is especially so if you are working as part of a team. If you’re looking for funding, then meetings will go well, and you’ll be able to convince those in positions of power or influence that you’re up to the job.

VIRGO – The Tower

Just when you thought that everything was going so well you’re faced with a major setback. There’s no need to over react; see life as it really is, not the illusion created to avoid dealing with complicated situations or in order to face challenging people. Be assured that you will bounce back. Uncertain times bring change and that brings opportunity!

LIBRA – Ace of Wands

A wonderful opportunity will present itself this week so don’t hesitate to take it up. This Ace brings energy, vitality and healing on a quantum level. Therefore, if you’ve allowed yourself to feel unworthy or not up to a task, your self-perception changes and all things feel possible. Negative thoughts, actions and indeed people, need to be shown the door!

SCORPIO – Ten of Swords

Do yourself a favour this week and go out of your way to sidestep anyone that brings you down. If you can't avoid them at work, don't give airtime to their gripes or grievances. You just can't afford to have others sapping your energy. If life’s been an emotional rollercoaster then the worst is over; so big smile, please!

SAGITTARIUS – The World

You're able to keep to schedule and complete important tasks, signing off on certain projects and making way for the new. You cleverly put yourself in the frame for an important opportunity.

If you’re applying for your dream job, the signs are positive.

Sagittarians are by nature competitive, so you'll be pleased that others consider you número uno this week!

CAPRICORN – Three of Cups

You'll enjoy a share of the good life this week and you'll not mind what it costs either. This card is the granter of wishes, wish well and what you desire can come true. Don't be afraid to put this out into your cosmic gateway. Just remember that with great success comes great responsibility and are you up to that?

AQUARIUS – King of Pentacles

You meet with influential people who positively affect your finances this week. They’ll be very open your ideas and suggestions so don't be backwards in coming forwards. Being an egalitarian Aquarian you often give your talents away for free - so long as you see it benefiting others. No harm though in helping yourself however; don’t undervalue your gifts.

PISCES - Eight of Cups

You simply cannot take one more sob story or try to 'fix' other people’s lives. Enough is enough. You'd rather be in your own company than be dragged down energy-wise again. Put the shutters down and insist on some quality me-time. On a lighter note, if you're looking for romance and had almost given up, someone special is their way!

View From The Pew A Miracle Of Language Rev. Dr Peter Pimentel

A miracle of language called “other tongues” gave birth to Christianity more than 2000 years ago.

This language event took place during the Jewish festival of Shavuot. Christianity was, at it’s beginning, completely a spiritual movement within Judaism.

The Jewish people will always be our fathers and mothers in the Faith. Jesus was an Israeli Jew and so were the twelve disciples.

Jesus, after his death, miraculously communicates with his disciples telling them to wait in Jerusalem for the gift of the Holy Spirit and that they will be clothed with the power from on high. The twelve disciples, together with a number of women, includ-

h

606 509 542 www.ibizachurch.org chaplainibiza11@gmail.com

ing Mary the mother of Jesus, and many other followers of Jesus, 120 in all, are together in one place, waiting. It is just 50 days after the death of Jesus. They are waiting and constant in prayer. The festival of Shavuot takes place 50 days after the festival of Passover. Hence the Greek translation of Shavuot as Pentecost. Uncannily, Jesus dies whilst the Passover lambs are being slaughtered.

The language miracle is this: “And they were all

filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.” (Acts 2:4).

At that time there were

Service Sun 27th 10.30am The Church, Santa Eulalia

more Jews living outside Israel than within. Jewish pilgrims “from every nation under heaven” are gathering in the temple precincts for Shavuot. The disciples of Jesus are speaking in “other tongues” and the pilgrims are hearing them in their own native language. “And how is it that we hear, each of us in his own native language?” (Acts 2:8). There are Parthians, Medes, Elamites, and residents of Mesopotamia, Cappadocia, Pontus, Asia, Phrygia, Pamphylia, Egypt, Libya, Rome, Crete, and Arabs (Acts 2:911).

Because of the language miracle, this representative group of nations will take the message of Jesus

see web for info

throughout the thenknown-world. For example, ancient Parthia, is now modern day Eastern Turkey to Eastern Iran. Parthia was a key bridge on the Silk Route connecting the Roman Empire with China.

The Holy Spirit of God and the spiritual gift of “other tongues” bridges the divides of culture, religion, and language. In Ibiza we have a unique opportunity to do just that – to bridge the divides of language, religion, and cultures. In the English Speaking Church in Ibiza we have many for whom English and Spanish are second languages. It is a special opportunity to experience afresh the Pentecostal origins of our faith.

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

For Ibiza news direct to your inbox, subscribe at theibizan.com

Page 15

Ibiza Is Most Expensive of World’s 50 Top Clubbing Hotspots We all know that a night out in Ibiza’s superclubs is not going to come cheap – no surprise there.

But a report by holiday renting portal hometogo.com claims that Ibiza is not only expensive, but is the most expensive clubbing destination worldwide, costing 30% more than 2nd place Las Vegas for their shopping basket of club entry and drinks.

Global Survey

Rock ‘n’ Roll Nights Heart, Ibiza Town Claire B

There’s something new for Rock and Roll fans at Heart this summer, as they bring their new night Heart Live! to the club on Monday’s in June and September.

The night promises to “showcase live bands and musicians that will rock your world, encourage you to sing along and hold a lighter in the air - just like the good old days when this DJ thing wasn’t cool yet”. Providing the live music will be Javier Vargas (Vargas Blues Band) and friends and Undercover.

Mondays in June and September: June 4, 11, 18 & 25 and September 3, 10, 17 and 24. From 11pm.

(Continued from page 16)

Sueños de Libertad

stages, so that there were no musical breaks in between the groups changing over. Most of the groups were from the Spanish mainland, but there were also artists from the USA, Argentina, Jamaica and Cuba, representing a range of music styles spanning rock, blues, reggae, flamenco, funk, hip hop and lots more.

Friday

hometogo.com used a variety of sources including event ticket and clubbing review websites to narrow down their global top 50 clubbing destinations.

They then contacted “at least five” of the major clubs in the destinations and obtained prices for a shopping basket of:Cover charge: Cost of entry on a Saturday night. Price of a beer: 12 oz. domestically produced beer. (that’s a 330ml bottle) Price of a long drink: One regular gin & tonic. Price of a shot: 1 oz. vodka.

(28ml)

to and his band with his black roots music careered between funk and heavy rock and deservedly got an encore. One-man band Vurro was the fun novelty act, playing keyboards and drums wearing a cow’s head skeleton on his head, bashing the symbols with the horns as he nodded to the left and the right. Hip hoppers Orishas from Cuba did their thing over traditional Cuban songs and it worked surprisingly well. Threepiece band from Granada, Guadalupe Plata performed amidst a lot of red lights and dry ice and played a storming set of loud, driving, bluesy, rock and roll – I loved them.

Headliners The Original Wailers, with Bob Marley’s guitarist Al Anderson clearly pulled in the crowds and had everyone singing and dancing along to Bob Marley’s hits, but they left me thinking that they were missing someone special.

On Friday night music was provided by Los Bengala, El Mató A Un Policía Motorizado, Buika, El Kanka, Loquillo, Paradise Phantoms and headliners Iseo & Dodosound. When I arrived at the site just as it was getting dark, El Kanka were entertaining everyone on the smaller stage. Afterwards Barcelonan rock and roll star Loquillo pulled in the crowds and had everyone eating out of his hand on the main stage, but for me it was the quirky Madrileños Paradise Phantoms who had me dancing away to their guitar and bass laden funky dance music.

Headliners Iseo & Dodosound had everyone else dancing as female singer Iseo commanded the stage accompanied by Dodosound on the decks behind her and occasional sax and brass sections.

Location

Saturday

Free Mini Festival

Saturday night saw Sweet Barrio, Carmen Boza, Fantastic Negrito, Vurro, Orishas, Guadalupe Plata and The Original Wailers. American singer Fantastic Negri-

Ibiza Most Expensive

For Ibiza their report gives figures of club entry at 55€, 12,30€ for a beer, 16,35€ for a gin and tonic, and 8,20€ for a shot. This adds up to 88,24€.

Next most expensive were Las Vegas at 62€, New York at 51€, and Zurich at 49€.

It seems that beer drinkers are suffering the most, with Ibiza’s 12,30€ almost twice that of the 6,67€ charged in L.A., with nobody else on the list charging over 8€.

At the other end of the scale Capetown is the cheapest clubbing capital at just 13,20€ for the same shopping basket, followed in second, and Europe’s cheapest, Warsaw at 15,46€.

Ibiza also claims number one spot in the ‘most clubs per head of population’ category, with Warsaw last in 50th place, giving some demonstration that the economic principle that competition drives price competitiveness does not seem to apply in the world of clubbing.

The commercial port was a fantastic site for such an event. It was easy to move around the spacious site, browse at the market stalls and watch the live painters doing their thing on vans, boats and cars. The atmosphere throughout was great, with families taking advantage of being able to take their children under 12 in for free.

A couple of free events were also mounted during the festival. There was an exhibition of photos from legendary American photographer Baron Wolman in

Conclusion

So how seriously should we take these statistics? We give credit to hometogo.com for detailing their data gathering methods and analysis techniques.

But at the end of the day they are statistics compiled with the prime aim of clickbaiting, and we wouldn’t take them too seriously.

As we all know, Ibiza offers opportunities to enjoy yourself for far less, and if you choose to, for far more.

A definition of what is expensive is much like beauty, very much in the eye (or wallet) of the beholder.

Live Painting at Suenos Plaza del Parque, who had selected 25 photos he took at the Woodstock Festival and several covers from Rolling Stone Magazine where he shot the cover stars. And on Saturday afternoon, five local bands played for free in the sunshine in Vara de Rey, transforming the end of the pedestrianised square closest to the port into a mini festival zone for a few hours.

Summary

Overall the festival was amazing, well organised and should be applauded for bringing 17 live bands to the island, plus giving the opportunity for 5 local bands to play in town at no cost to those watching. Hopefully it will return next year and if you missed it this year, keep your eyes open for news of it appearing again sometime in May 2019.

The Ibizan, Issue 881, 25th May 2018

For Ibiza news direct to your inbox, subscribe at theibizan.com

Page 16

Luciano returns to Ushuaia with Dystopia

Dystopia

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Ushuaïa, Playa d’en Bossa Claire B

Something new this summer and taking place every Friday from June 1 to September 28 and created by the nightlife visionaries The Night League, ‘Dystopia’ is a brand-new festival concept dedicated to music and art.

Ushuaïa Ibiza will radically change its usual setup to become a surreal world, filled with visual curiosities, live acts and interactive experiences. There will be new common areas - chill-out spaces, a playground for adults, healing zones, a pop-up market, food trucks and more.

Throughout the summer, Dystopia will showcase an exceptional collection of acts at the forefront of today’s electronic music scene and the event will become an immersive and surreal experience with music, art and self-expression. Electronic music pioneer, Luciano (above) will perform 11 shows over the summer, invigorating the crowd and inviting them into the ultimate all-encompassing experience. With a new stage setup as a key element within the special immersive production, he will be joined by a collection of leading electronic artists including Black Coffee, Damian Lazarus, Dj Koze (Pampa Records), Adam Port (Keinemusik), Bedouin, Jennifer Cardini (Correspondant), are set to front the new-world crowd.

Dystopia is every Friday from June 1 to September 28 at 3.30pm.

Vurro at Suenos

Sueños de Libertad Music Festival - Review Words & Pictures Claire B The 4th Sueños de Libertad (Dreams of Freedom) 3-day music festival was held in Ibiza Town from last Thursday to Saturday, May 17-19. Local resident Adrián Rodríguez is behind the festival, and this year it was back in Ibiza Town, after moving to San Antonio last year.

Thursday

On Thursday night, we were treated to acoustic sets from 3 bands, in the wonderful setting that is the Baluard de Santa Llucía in Dalt Vila. Santero y Los Muchachos kicked off the night’s proceedings, taking to the stage just as the orange sun sank behind the hills in the distance. American Shawn James accompanied by Hawaiian

violinist Sage Cornelius were next and wowed the crowd before Juanito Makandé and his band played their flamenco-inspired tunes and had everyone dancing in the warm night air.

The Festival Moves

For Friday and Saturday, the festival moved to a site that was transformed for the occasion in the commercial port. With views looking straight across the water to Ibiza Town, the festival site was in another great location, with a huge covered stage, a smaller open one, a large bar, food trucks, market stalls and live painters. 7 bands played each night, alternating between the two (Continued on page 15)