Mendo Lake Family Life May 2023

COVID-19 has been a really long and difficult fight, and the fight is changing quickly. With new, highly contagious variants it’s important to stay up to date with your COVID vaccination (including booster shots).

Even if you’ve had COVID-19, getting vaccinated and staying boosted is the best way to keep you and everyone around you protected.

ALL IT TAKES IS ONE WELL-CHILD VISIT TO BE THEIR HERO

PROTECT THE HEALTH OF YOUR CHILDREN

Doctors can find things that you wouldn’t have know about and take care of them before it’s serious. Contact your child’s healthcare provider or a health clinic to schedule an appointment today. Don’t know where to go? Scan the QR code or visit: www.mendocinocounty.org/healthproviderlist

Mothering is such a vital role that we set aside a day every year to honor it. If you need ideas for how to fete the mothers in your life, turn to “Beyond Bonbons” (page 24) for 130 gift options, and then check out our Calendar of Events (page 28) for local Mother’s Day activities.

If you are a momma and could use some support, turn to “Secrets of Veteran Moms” (page 22) for savvy self-care tips. Just need a really good laugh? Read our humorist’s “Moms-Only Vacay” (page 36).

Besides mothers, May also puts the spotlight on high school seniors, who are busy prepping for graduation. For parents of younger kids, the sight of

mortarboard caps can bring to mind college—and how to pay for it. Check out “Stash Cash for Tuition” (page 10) to find out about a flexible savings plan most people don’t know about. If you’re school-shopping, check out “Get Smart about College” (page 12) for the best questions to ask institutions you’re interested in.

Whether you’re driving your kids to admissions interviews or changing their diapers, you, Mom, deserve a special “hats-off” from everyone. Thank you for raising the next generation with so much love and care. We hope you remember all year long that you have one of the most important jobs in the world.

Adventure Awaits You!

Enjoy hiking, horses, swimming, backpacking, crafts, nature, archery, spiritual reflection, campfires, challenge course, and outdoor skills

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Contributing Writers

America’s Test Kitchen

Jessica Guerrieri

Tanni Haas

Christina Katz

Sarah Lyons

Mary Morris

Rachael Moshman

Louis E. Newman

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Sweets for Mom

Bake Some Bliss

By

America’s Test Kitchen

We were amazed to discover how many recipes for strawberry cupcakes rely on a packet of strawberry-flavored Jell-O for the flavor base. We resolved to use real berries. We put together a quick cake base and added chopped frozen strawberries (which are of reliable quality year-round) to the batter, but they disrupted the fine crumb of the cake and left behind mushy pockets. For our next round of testing, we pressed the liquid out of the strawberries and added just the juice to the batter. This time our cakes had good flavor, but the texture was still mushy. Reducing the liquid on the stovetop was the solution: This concentrated the strawberry flavor beautifully and eliminated the excess moisture. We added the strawberry solids left behind from straining to our frosting for another dose of strawberry flavor.

Reprinted, with permission, from Cook’s Illustrated Desserts by America’s Test Kitchen (2022), americastestkitchen.com

Strawberry Cupcakes

11/8 cups (4½ ounces) cake flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

½ teaspoon table salt

10 ounces (2 cups) frozen whole strawberries

6 tablespoons whole milk

2 large eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened

7 tablespoons (3 ounces) sugar

3 cups Honey Cream Cheese Frosting

1. Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Line 12-cup muffin tin with paper or foil liners. Whisk flour, baking powder, and salt together in bowl. Microwave strawberries in covered bowl until softened and very juicy, about 4 minutes.

2. Transfer strawberries to fine-mesh strainer set over small saucepan and press firmly with rubber spatula to extract as much liquid as possible; set aside solids for frosting. Boil strained strawberry juice over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until syrupy and measures ¼ cup, about 8 minutes. Transfer juice to bowl and let cool for 5 minutes. Whisk in milk until combined, followed by eggs and vanilla.

3. Using stand mixer fitted with paddle, beat butter and sugar on medium-high speed until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Slowly add juice mixture and beat until well combined, about 1 minute, scraping down bowl as needed (mixture will look soupy). Reduce speed to low, add flour mixture, and mix until combined, about 1 minute. Give batter final stir by hand.

4. Divide batter evenly among prepared muffin cups. Bake until toothpick inserted in center comes out with few crumbs attached, 15 to 20 minutes, rotating muffin tin halfway through baking.

5. Let cupcakes cool in muffin tin on wire rack for 10 minutes. Remove cupcakes from muffin tin and let cool completely on rack, about 1 hour. (Unfrosted cupcakes can be stored at room temperature for up to 3 days.) Stir reserved strawberry solids into frosting until combined. Spread or pipe frosting evenly on cupcakes. Serve.

Makes 12 cupcakes | muffin tin

Honey Cream Cheese Frosting

1 1/4 pounds cream cheese, softened 12 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into 12 pieces and softened

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon table salt

2/3 cup honey

1. Using stand mixer fitted with whisk attachment, whip cream cheese, butter, vanilla, and salt on medium-high speed until smooth, about 2 minutes.

2. Reduce speed to medium-low, add honey, and whip until smooth, about 2 minutes. Increase speed to medium-high and whip until frosting is light and fluffy, 3 to 5 minutes. (Frosting can be refrigerated for up to 3 days; let soften at room temperature, about 1 hour, then rewhip on medium speed until smooth, about 2 minutes.)

Makes 5 cups, enough for two-layer cake

Get a Dose of Shakespeare

Galileo, Michelangelo, and Shakespeare—the Renaissance gave us all of them. The Lake County Renaissance Faire will celebrate the era of cultural rebirth with Shakespearean theater, costumed singers, and demos in leather working, archery, brass rubbing, wool spinning, and period games. There will also be an auction featuring artwork, local fruit and wines, handmade jewelry, and gift certificates for services and products. Produced by the Konocti Christian Academy, the festival will be held on May 6, 9 a.m.–4 p.m., at the Lake County Fairgrounds in Lakeport. General admission is $10; tickets that include lunch are $45 for adults, $20 for ages 5–17, and free for ages four and younger. Purchase tickets via Eventbrite at tinyurl.com/74z3f67k

Watch Spring Dance

There’s a viral dance video going around lately. It’s shows a lanky young man called Ed People asking folks from various countries for demos of dance moves, which he then performs with them on-the-spot. Funny and heartwarming, the video shows the power of dance to unite peoples of different walks of life. And so will the Mendocino College Spring Dance Festival, which will feature dances of many genres: hip-hop, Middle Eastern, jazz, and tap, and there will even be some performance art, too. The show will be held May 4–6 at 7:30 p.m. and May 7 at 2 p.m. at the Mendocino College Center Theatre in Ukiah. Tickets are $10 and may be purchased at tinyurl.com/455br9nv

Go with Handmade for Mom’s Day

“What should I get her for Mother’s Day?” It’s a question that goes through the minds of many a spouse and kid. The Spring Craft Fair aims to offer ideas. A fundraiser for the Humane Society for Inland Mendocino County, the fair will feature more than 40 vendors selling handmade items. And there will be food and wine available, too. The event will be held May 6–7, 11 a.m.–5 p.m., at the Testa Coffee and Wine Shop in Redwood Valley. Admission is free. Find out more at testaranch.com/events

Spring Dance Festival

Lake County Renaissance Faire

Spring Craft Fair

Catch a Catfish

Every May for more than 30 years, hundreds of anglers of all ages have flocked to Clear Lake in search of catfish and cash. The largest catfish tournament west of the Mississippi, the Catfish Derby offers more than $10,000 in cash prizes. Five thousand dollars goes to the largest fish caught in the adult division while $100 goes to the biggest fish snagged in each of the two kids’ divisions. Besides fishing, the tournament, which will be held May 19–21 in Clearlake Oaks, will also offer entertainment and food. Find out more and register at clearlakeoaks.org/derby.

Support Hopland Firefighters

Firefighting is essential work in Lake County. And it doesn’t come for free. Enter the Hopland Fire Annual Fundraising Barbecue. Along with grilled tri-tip and chicken, this year’s event will feature the rockabilly dance music of Derek Irving. The eats and tunes will be on May 6, 5–10 p.m., at the Hopland Fire Protection District at 21 Feliz Creek Road in Hopland. Tickets, available at the gate, are $30 for adults, $15 for kids ages 8–17, and free for kids ages 7 and younger. For more information, see tinyurl.com/3js9hjwj

Treat Mom to Brunch & Blues

Jules Leyhe was only 16 when he first shared an Oakland stage with blues legend Buddy Guy. More than a decade—and a Berklee School of Music degree—later, he still plays with Buddy whenever he comes to the Bay Area. And he also plays with a few local bands, including the Jules Leyhe Trio. The group will be bringing their brand of the blues to the Mother’s Day brunch at the Blue Wing in Upper Lake on May 14, 10:30 a.m.–2 p.m. Find out more at tinyurl. com/3zsdmp5v

Catfish Derby

Derek Irving & His Combo

Jules Leyhe Trio

Stash Cash for Tuition

Discover 529 Savings Plans

By Mary Morris

New parents are so busy with diaper changes and feeding schedules, saving for college is last on the priority list. But it’s crucial to start saving early, and a 529 savings plan is a good option. A flexible choice for families, 529s allow you to use your savings at in-state, out-of-state, public, or private schools, as well as community colleges, trade schools, graduate programs, some international schools, and for K–12 tuition, registered apprenticeship programs, and certain student loan repayments. Despite the flexibility of the plan, only 38 percent of parents are aware of it.

Get started. Most 529 savings plans offer tools to help you explore future higher education costs and plan your savings strategy. Online calculators, such as the 529 College Savings Calculator at savingforcollege.com, can tabulate how much you need to save by your child’s high school graduation date, as well as help you determine your financial aid eligibility and the cost of waiting to open a 529 account.

Almost anyone may open a 529 account.

Keep it simple. Investing doesn’t have to be complicated. For newer investors, portfolios designed to closely match a student’s expected high school graduation date are a good place to start. For example, my company, Virginia529, offers a 2042 Portfolio within its Invest529 Target Enrollment roster. The 2042 Portfolio is the suggested portfolio for children ages 0–3. Target Enrollment Portfolios are tailored to your presumed savings time horizon, following a strategy that annually shifts from more volatile investments (like equities) toward more conservative investments (like bonds and cash) as you get closer to using the funds.

Find certainty in an uncertain market. When the markets are volatile and principal protection is top of mind, several options are available. For

instance, Invest529’s portfolio is FDIC-insured up to $250,000—the legal maximum—for all eligible accounts for each account owner. The Stable Value portfolio is also available. Both portfolios may appeal to families wary of taking a

risk, or to those who will need the funds in a relatively short amount of time. With a current effective rate of 4.49 percent, Invest529 offers the highest return among FDIC-insured portfolios in the industry. Give the gift of education. Almost anyone may open a 529 account. These accounts are not subject to income limits, and anyone can contribute, which means grandparents and other loved ones can help kick-start a baby’s education savings. Giving to a 529 account can benefit everyone involved. Starting with the 2024–25 academic year, withdrawals from a grandparent’s (or other non-parent’s) 529 account will no longer be counted as student income. ❖

Mary Morris, CEO of Virginia529, has more than three decades of financial and taxation services experience. She is an industry authority and possesses expertise in higher education access, education savings, student loan debt, disability savings, and financial literacy. National and local media outlets regularly feature Morris’s insights. Find out more about her at virginia529.com

Investing doesn’t have to be complicated.

Get Smart about College

How to Make a Wise Choice

By Louis E. Newman

Right now hundreds of thousands of graduating high school seniors are weighing their college options. For many, it’s an intensely stressful time as they are rejected or waitlisted, and decide where they will spend the next four years of their lives. Unfortunately, most will base those decisions on criteria that don’t actually affect the quality of their education and will ignore the criteria that do.

Don’t let the brochures fool you. Choosing a college is not like choosing a product to purchase, though students regularly approach the decision with a consumer’s mindset. There is no Consumer Reports to rely on. So a school’s reputation, glitzy admissions materials, student housing amenities, impressive recreational facilities, and campus tours often unduly influence students and parents, even though none of these things are related to the quality of education an institution offers.

Ditch one-size-fits-all assessments. Many people follow US News and World Reports ratings, but they are misleading at best. Why? They base their rankings on inconsistently reported data and on the subjective impressions of college presidents and senior administrators. More fundamentally, the rankings falsely suggest that a single assessment scale is equally applicable to all students. In reality, students have a range of priorities and values, as the recently introduced New York Times

selection tool, which searches on a range of criteria, recognizes. This is far more useful.

Be aware of what class visits can and cannot tell you. Sampling a class or two may seem like a good idea, but it tells potential students virtually nothing meaningful. As every teacher knows, there are good days and bad days in every course. What a prospective student experiences during a single visit is not generalizable to the course as a whole, much less to the entire school. But there are metrics that matter, and it’s worth knowing what they are.

Find out about the faculty. How much time do faculty members devote to teaching and how available are they? Is there a Center for Learning and Teaching to nurture young faculty and keep senior faculty from growing stale, and do faculty avail themselves of its programs? How do faculty rank the support they receive from their institution, as measured by the Higher Education Research Institute (HERI) survey? Choose a college where faculty feel supported and respected by the administration.

Investigate student culture and the quality of learning. For each school you are considering, ask the Admissions office for the school’s National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE) results. This will provide data on everything from social climate to the prevalence of binge drinking to the level of participation in extracurricular activities. Most schools conduct surveys of their graduates; getting those survey results from the Alumni Affairs office will tell you how satisfied alumni are with the education they received. Ask the Dean’s office if

the school has recently administered the Collegiate Learning Assessment (CLA), a tool that measures the acquisition of critical thinking skills, and, if so, how the students scored. Take some time to read the student newspaper and explore the campus bulletin boards; both will give you a window into the campus climate.

Explore opportunities to study abroad. Does the school offer off-campus study programs and, if not, how easy is it to get credit for study abroad? In our increasingly interconnected world, living and studying off campus are among the most valuable opportunities a student will get in college. Similarly, ask about service-learning courses that enable students to apply classroom learning to projects with community partners.

Studies have repeatedly shown these to be extremely impactful educational experiences.

Assess the availability of health services. This includes mental health counseling. How quickly can students get an appointment, especially on weekends?

How much time do faculty devote to teaching?

How close is the nearest hospital? Over four years, there’s a good chance your students will need to see a health-care provider for something and when they do, these things will be vitally important.

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Evaluate academic advising. What is the effectiveness of the school’s academic advising program? In nearly 40 years of teaching and administration, I have rarely encountered a student who didn’t need guidance—to navigate college requirements, overcome academic challenges, or revise their academic plans. Find out how academic advising works, what the ratio of advisors to students is, and how the institution supports the advisors. ❖

Louis E. Newman, PhD, is the former Dean of Academic Advising and Associate Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education at Stanford University. He currently works as a college success coach. He is the author of Thinking Critically in College: The Essential Handbook for Student Success (Radius Book Group, 2023). Find out more at thinkingcritically.us

Overnight Adventure

8 Tips for Sleepaway Camp

By Tanni Haas

There are few things more exciting in kids’ lives than their first sleepaway camp. How do you prepare your kids—and yourself— for this big event? Drawing on conversations with parents, as well as my own experiences as the parent of a teenager who’s a happy camper, I’ve identified eight things you should do.

Prepare

for camp together.

You want your kids to take ownership of this exciting experience, so prepare for it with them. Bring them when you go shopping for all the stuff on the packing list and pack jointly, using luggage that isn’t too difficult to carry. Also, to build excitement, talk to your kids about all the incredible things they’re going to experience, and explain the camp’s rules and expectations.

Pack clothing for all kinds of weather. Don’t pack your kids’ best items. Whether it’s a sports camp or any other type of program, there are likely to be outdoor activities during which clothing will get stained, torn, or ruined. Pack their most durable clothes, and make sure that there are choices for all kinds of weather—both sunny, warm days and rainy, cool days. Most importantly, label everything with your kids’ names. A good friend

of ours forgot to do that when their daughter went to her first sleepaway camp. She came home with all kinds of wild clothes they’d never seen before.

Have a sleepover—or two. Your kids are going to be away from you, possibly for the first time, for an extended period. Some kids have absolutely no problem adjusting;

others need to slowly dip their feet in the water, so to speak. Organize a couple of sleepovers at their friends’ houses, to get them used to being away from you.

Speak to parents in your neighborhood. No matter how confident your kids are that they’re going to be just fine without you, it’s always a good idea to bring them some comfort from home. Reach out to other parents from your kids’ school or your neighborhood to see if they plan on sending their kids to the same

There’s nothing as embarrassing as a parent who lingers.

camp. Most camps let parents request that their kids bunk with one or more of their regular friends.

Contribute money to the candy store. Most sleepaway camps have a store where kids can buy candy with money from an account to which parents have

Organize a couple of sleepovers at their friends’ houses.

contributed. Ask the camp director what amount parents typically contribute to this account, and make the same contribution. Kids compare themselves to other kids; no one wants to be the odd one out with less

money to buy candy than everyone else. Conversely, you don’t want to contribute too much money.

Find out about communication and care package policies. Are you allowed a certain number of emails or letters? How many care packages are you permitted to mail, and are their rules about what you can and can’t send? If you’re allowed to include toys, choose items that your kids can enjoy with other campers, such as Frisbees and playing cards, instead of toys that they can only enjoy by themselves. During our son’s first sleepaway camp, my spouse and I sent him several decks of playing cards. The kids ended up playing cards with the camp counselors until late at night.

Don’t hang around too long. When you finally arrive at camp for the drop-off, do yourself—and your kids—a favor and leave once they’re settled in. Bring them to their cabin, help them unpack if necessary, and then extract yourself as quickly as possible. Your kids are eager to meet all the other campers, and there’s nothing as embarrassing as a parent who lingers for what appears to be no good reason. Let them start connecting and bonding with their counselors and the other kids.

Don’t worry—they’re going to be fine. Once you’re back in the car, take a deep breath, and then head home. Your kids are going to be fine, and so will you. Trust me. ❖

Tanni Haas, PhD, is a college communications

professor.

We offer a range of camp experiences including kayaking, backpacking, archery as well as the usual camp fun of arts, crafts and campfires. No matter what you enjoy, there’s a session here for you at St. Dorothy’s Rest. Our Hospital and Summer Camps offer kids a safe, nurturing environment where every camper can experience nature, learn new skills, and make lifelong friends.

Budget Birthdays

How to Have a Blast, for Less

By Sarah Lyons

Every parent wants their child’s birthday to be special, but the cost of throwing a party can really add up, especially if you have multiple children. Is it really possible to cut costs without losing the fun and excitement?

Yes, especially if you reuse or repurpose supplies.

Get thee to sales. Buy reusable, discounted party décor, such as basic birthday signs, party lanterns, and photo backdrops. Choose items that have no specific theme and are in a variety of gender-neutral colors. You can even make your own decor out of stronger materials like cardstock or cardboard, or hit up the dollar store for streamers and

signs. As you collect a stash, store it in an accessible and organized place so you can easily get to it when a birthday arrives.

Go for games. Bingo, beanbag toss, or yard games like badminton can be used every year. Chalkboards (for birthday signs), cake stands, and punch bowls can also be used for many parties.

Make a DIY photo booth. Kids of any age will have a great time posing in hats, silly glasses, feather boas, or masks you purchase from a dollar store or garage sale. Use a plain sheet or tablecloth for an affordable photo backdrop, or use a whimsical backdrop from a party app. Bonus: Photos can double as thank-you cards for your guests.

Use white butcher paper as a tablecloth.

Save on tableware. Cloth tablecloths and plastic plates can be washed and used for years. Or, if you aren’t into extra cleanup, use white butcher paper as a tablecloth. Then kids can color right on the table. When the party’s over, simply

Economical Party Locations

• parks

• pools

• places of worship

• public buildings, such as libraries, museums, or community centers

• your home or backyard

• gyms

• fire stations or factories that offer tours

roll up the paper and toss it. One giant roll of butcher paper will last for years and can be used for many holidays and birthdays.

Use lanterns instead of balloons. Party lanterns cost about the same as balloons, but unlike the former, can be used

Theme-specific cards and invitations can be turned into wall art, ornaments, gift tags, or garland.

repeatedly. Choose a variety of neutral colors so you can save money without losing the festive look.

Make it into art. Theme-specific cards and invitations can be turned into wall art, ornaments, gift tags, or garland. Crepe paper

and napkins can be made into confetti or garland. Old ribbons and balloons can be used to construct a festive wreath.

Get creative. Scour the Internet or Pinterest for DIY décor ideas and then add small touches to create a fun birthday theme. Try to find items that can be used more than once. For example, animals from a Noah’s Ark party could be reused for a zoo or circus-themed party later on. A little creativity can make for a fun, affordable, and environmentally sustainable birthday party that your child will love. ❖

Sarah Lyons is a mother and freelance writer whose work has been featured in more than 160 parenting publications.

Good Bodies

Help Your Kid Develop a Positive Body Image

By Tanni Haas

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a great time for parents to think about how they can help their kids feel good about themselves and their bodies. Research shows that nearly two-thirds of kids are self-conscious about some aspect of their physical appearance and that negative body-image issues affect even kids as young as three years old. There’s a lot of useful information on how to nurture a positive body image, but are there things you should avoid saying or doing? Here’s what the experts suggest.

Don’t tell your kids they need to lose weight. “When kids are labeled as ‘fat,’ and when fat equates to bad, it sticks with them,” says Haley Kranstuber Horstman, PhD, a well-known professor of family communication. “These labels can make kids feel ashamed and even unlovable,” she adds. Encourage your kids to be physically active and eat only what their bodies need. This will help them to lose any excess weight naturally and make them feel better about themselves.

Don’t discuss your own need to lose weight. “Children learn how they should think and feel about their own bodies from listening to the adults around them,” says Renee Engeln, PhD, a psychology professor and author of Beauty Sick (Harper, 2017). “If you talk about your huge thighs, your latest weight loss diet, or your punishing workouts,” says Dayle Hayes, a registered dietician and coauthor of Moving Away from Diets (Helm, 2003), “your kids will pick up on these negative messages.

They’ll begin to worry about the size of their thighs and think they should be dieting.” Engeln agrees: “If they hear adults engaging in negative body talk—always focusing on ‘problematic’ body areas—kids get the impression that bodies can never be good enough as they are.” Simply put: “Ditch the diet talk,” as Emily Lauren Dick, the

author of Body Positive: A Guide To Loving Your Body (Familius, 2021), puts it. If you feel the need to lose weight, emphasize how important it is to stay healthy.

Don’t comment on other people’s bodies. When kids “hear adults disparage other people’s bodies,” Engeln says, “they learn to apply the same sort of criticism to themselves when they look in the mirror.” Even positive comments can be detrimental, such as when we say someone “looks so much better now that they’ve lost all that weight.” “Instead of commenting on how their current body looks compared to their past body, compliment their hard work, dedicated effort, and resiliency,” suggest family physician Sasha Ulrich, MD, and clinical psychologist Deidre Paulson, PhD.

Don’t encourage your kids to nibble. Horstman defines a nibbler as “the person at the party who eats one carrot stick, only to be dipped lightly in fat-free dressing, and claims that they’re full—the fullest they’ve ever been, in fact.” This type of “restrictive

Encourage your kids to be physically active and eat only what their bodies need.

eating,” as Horstman refers to it, is problematic for three reasons: 1) Kids will feel bad about themselves; 2) they won’t be satisfied; and 3) they’ll just end up making up for their hunger at the next meal. If your kids are hungry in between meals, offer them a nutritious snack.

Don’t pressure your kids to eat only certain foods. Don’t suggest that your kids should eat only certain “good” foods and avoid all “bad” foods. “The foods you restrict or place rigid limits around,” says Sumner Brooks, a registered dietician and coauthor of How to Raise an Intuitive Eater (St. Martin’s Essentials, 2022), “are very likely to become the most desired foods, and it gives these foods a lot of power as ‘special’ or ‘forbidden.’ The result? Kids may choose to eat more of these foods when you’re not around. [They may] hide or sneak them or learn to feel bad about themselves for even wanting them.” More generally, Brooks says, “precious family time can be overtaken by arguments about a child’s eating, instead of meals being about positive connection and chatting about the day.”

Instead of labeling food as “good” or “bad,” let kids “know that certain choices are better for growing, strength, and concentration,” says Dianna Chillo-Havercamp, a licensed clinical social worker with expertise in children. Angela Celio Doyle, PhD, a clinical psychologist, agrees. She suggests that parents teach their kids “that all food consists of varying levels of nutrition and calories.” ❖

Tanni Haas, PhD, is a college communications professor.

Foster or Adopt?

How to Make the Best Decision

By Rachael Moshman

We hear all the time about the countless children in the United States waiting for homes. So adopting or fostering a child should be quick and easy, right?

Wrong. My husband and I were surprised to find it is actually a very long and complicated process. It took a year to bring a child into our home. Here’s how to get started.

1. Consider your family’s strengths and weaknesses. Most foster children waiting for adoptive homes are over the age of eight, have special needs, are of a minority group, or are part of a

sibling group. Are you only willing to accept an infant or toddler? Are you comfortable parenting a child of another ethnic background? Are you open to adopting more than one child? There are no right or wrong

answers, but it is important that you are honest with yourself.

2. Determine if special needs adoption is right for your family. Most states, including California , refer to foster-care adoption as special-needs

Are you only willing to accept an infant or toddler? Are you comfortable parenting a child of another ethnic background?

adoption. This is because the trauma most of the children in foster care have endured causes emotional and behavioral challenges. Research common mental health conditions in foster children: bipolar disorder, reactive attachment disorder, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), oppositional defiant disorder, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

3. Look into the rules and regulations in your area. These vary by state and even county. According to Family Connections Christian Adoptions, California has no marital requirements for adoption. However, there are specific requirements regarding bedroom sharing for foster children. Research qualifications regarding the amount of square feet in your home, minimum household income, or legal history. It’s better to know if you meet the qualifications before investing too much time in the process. For more information, go to Law for Families: tinyurl. com/3zrwx7p5

4. Understand your county’s position on foster children.

If you want to adopt a child, it is important that you are clear with the licensing agents and social workers that you are looking for a child that is legally free for adoption. The goal of foster care is typically to

You are now ready to officially start the process! You will most likely need to take training classes and complete a home study. The process could take a year or more.

reunite the child with the biological family up until the time when parental rights are severed and the child becomes legally free for adoption.

For more information about fostering children in Sonoma County, go to tinyurl.com/ y5yx44hk . For more on fostering and adoption in Mendocino and Lake Counties, visit the site of Redwood Community Services, redwoodcommunityservices.org/ ffa . For general information about adopting in California, go to cakidsconnection.org/FAQs.php. ❖

Rachael Moshman is a freelance writer and emotional wellness support coach. Find her at ramblingrach.com .

It’s better to know if you meet the qualifications before investing too much time in the process.

Secrets of Veteran Moms

How to Address Your Needs & Stand Strong

By Christina Katz

Once a baby is born, our lives are no longer our own. We are transformed. We are no longer an individual, or even a couple, and our scope of responsibilities expands to small group status. No wonder moms often feel overwhelmed and insecure.

What do veteran moms know that can help new moms feel reassured? Here are our insider secrets.

Give yourself pep talks. The first few months—okay, years—of motherhood can be unsettling. Your little one needs you so completely and is growing and changing so quickly, merely keeping up can feel challenging. Expect motherhood to put you to the test. You are up

for it. You can do this. Repeat: I feel overwhelmed and that’s okay. This feeling will pass once I admit it to someone and keep carrying on.

Practice self-acceptance. With so much time going to baby and practical duties, appearances may slip a bit. So why not lower the stakes? Wear comfortable clothing, even if it’s not as fashionable as usual. Get your hair cut in a way that won’t demand styling. Forego makeup and

appreciate your natural glow. You can still get dressed up for an occasional date night or to socialize with friends. But on stay-at-home days, simplify your needs and save time and energy. Repeat: I look good enough to take care of this baby. I can temporarily let go of impressing the outside world and simply focus on meeting our needs.

Expect co-parenting. If you are partnered, it’s important to co-parent. This means that you share the work of caring for your growing baby. And don’t think co-parenting will be a drag. Think of how much you will learn about each other. Start having conversations on an ongoing basis about how to juggle responsibilities. Repeat: Sometimes co-parenting is confusing. But if we take time to discuss our parenting hopes, dreams, and needs as we go, everyone’s desires will get addressed.

Weave a network of support. They say it takes a village to raise a child and this is true. You may think needing help is a sign of your deficiencies, but flip this thinking on its head: Creating a strong yet flexible network of supporters is your primary job as a new mother. Research resources at your disposal and do not hesitate to ask veteran moms what was helpful to them. Repeat: There are ample services available in my area for pregnant women and new mothers, if I seek them out. We can find all the resources we need.

Expect motherhood to put you to the test. You are up for it. You can do this.

Be calmly informed. If you suspect there is a problem with your baby, don’t wait for matters to worsen before you act. Place a few inquiries by phone, so you can determine if you need to take any steps. Illnesses

instincts. Repeat: There is nothing wrong with asking questions. When I have a concern, the input of informed friends and professionals can quickly lay my worst fears to rest.

looking for any more input at this time, but thanks for trying to help.”

can swiftly progress in infants, and you might miss early signs and end up in the emergency room at 3 a.m. If something concerning comes up, consult parenting books, quickly poll other parents via social media, and directly consult those more experienced. Above all, trust your

Stand up for yourself. Vulnerability is a common feeling among new moms. You may feel uncertain, confused, even lost sometimes. You may also find yourself on the receiving end of a barrage of advice, some of it unsolicited. Try not to get worked up about those who seem to know it all. They are usually well-meaning folks who are trying to help. And if their “help” is unhelpful, you can and should let them know how you feel. Repeat: When I am feeling shaky, and others are making me feel worse, I can simply say, “I am not

Keep your balance. A mother’s life is not typically full of long stretches of free time. Smart moms learn how to find rest and relaxation in the nooks and crannies of each day. They accept that a messier home than usual is totally understandable. They remember that their happiness deserves preserving as much as possible. Repeat: When I take excellent care of myself I can go from overwhelmed to confident more easily. I value my own company, no matter how scarce, more than ever. ❖

Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz wants to remind all new moms that they really do pass.

Do not hesitate to ask veteran moms what was helpful to them.

Beyond Bonbons

130 Mother’s Day Gift Ideas

By Christina Katz

Here’s the conundrum: Each year in May, Mom gets her very own celebration day. But isn’t Mom the person who usually does most of the gift shopping the rest of the year? So let’s admit it, folks, when it comes to finding the perfect gift for Mom, sometimes it’s hard to think up fresh ideas. But thanks to this gift checklist, you and your loved ones can brainstorm. Happy shopping!

Artsy Mom

Umbrella from a museum store

Biography of her favorite artist

Tickets to a gallery exhibit

Art supplies

Small prints of her favorite artwork

Bookish Mom

eReader

Bookseller gift card

eBook gift card

Book light

Audio-book club subscription

Caffeinated Mom

Coffee-making tools

Stylish and colorful mugs

Black tea assortment

Chocolate-covered coffee beans

Coffee-shop gift card

Chef Mom

Cooking class

Cooking magazine subscription

Cooking tools in a vase with a bow

Cooking store gift card

Vintage cookbooks

Crafty Mom

Craft tote bag or rolling case

Sketchpad to plan future projects

How-to book or eBook on a craft

Tabletop craft-tool sorter

Craft magazine subscription

Decorator Mom

Antique or décor store gift card

Décor magazine subscription

Interior design color wheel

Portable tape measure

Binders with sheet protectors for idea clippings

Foodie Mom

Favorite restaurant gift certificate

Assortment of favorite condiments

Food item-of-the-month club membership

Food magazine subscription

Gourmet food store gift card

Fitness Mom

Exercise DVDs

Running store gift card

Sporty headphones

Water bottle

Jump rope

Frugalista Mom

New wallet

Assortment of coupon-clipping cutters

Storage container to hold coupon cutters

Cutting mat

Couponing-strategies book or eBook

Funny Mom

Joke-of-the-day calendar

DVD of favorite humorous movie or TV show

How-to-be-funny book or eBook

Signed celebrity photo of favorite comedian

Tickets to a comedy show

Gardening Mom

Garden tool storage cart

Watering can

Garden clogs

Kneeling pad

Seed packets or plant starts

Green Mom

Thrift store gift card

Solar-powered watch

Composter

CSA (community supported agriculture) membership

Reusable shopping bags in various sizes

Hip Mom

Gift certificate to a retro boutique

Funky socks

Subscription to a local zine

New specs with artful frames

Tickets to local indie band concert

Inspired Mom

Inspirational thought-for-the-day calendar

Apply

today

Tearjerker memoir or autobiography book or eBook

Seasonally scented candles

Photo posters with inspiring thoughts

Uplifting statuette or figurine

Movie Mom

Popcorn maker or microwave popcorn assortment

Favorite movie theater drink assortment

Movie storage rack

Pre-purchased movie tickets

Entertainment magazine subscription

Gadget sleeves or cases

Tickets to science and industry museum

Socialite Mom

Bulletin board, calendar, whiteboard

combo

Large, colorful tote bag

Movie-star sunglasses

Address book

Lifestyle magazine subscription

Sporty Mom

Baseball hat

Portable snack/drink cooler

Tickets to a game

Fashionable sweat suit

Bleacher seat cushion

Stylish Mom

Jewelry holder

Lipstick/lip gloss tote

Scarf rack

Sparkly keychain bob

Fashion magazine subscription

Nurturing classroom experiences for children 3 months to 5 years old.

• We do not require children to be pottytrained. We will help!

• Children with disabilities welcome.

Nurturing classroom experiences for children 3 months to 5 years old. Potty-training assistance provided. Children with disabilities welcome. Accepting applications year-round.

Also providing unique home visits for infants, toddlers & pregnant women! Apply Now!

Do you have questions?

E N T E R

C

Willits

www.mendolakefamilylife.com May 2023 MendoLakeFamilyLife 25

Techno Mom

Electronics charging station

Music/books/apps gift card

Smart phone portable keyboard

Thoughtful Mom

Monogrammed thank-you notes

Beautiful kitchen apron

Floral air freshener spray

Potpourri in favorite scent

Lavender drawer-sachets

Traveler Mom

Gift card to local international store

Passport holder

Neck pillow, eye-mask, and earplugs

Stylish luggage

Travel magazine subscription

Type-A Mom

Gift card to home organizing store

Checklist pads

Purse organizer

Designer sticky notes

Organized-living magazine subscription

Work-at-Home Mom

Desktop organizer

Picture frames

Magazine holder

Stylish hook racks for charge cords

Work-at-home magazine subscription

Work-Away-from-Home Mom

Smart shoulder bag

Scheduling apps for smart phone

Housecleaning service

Pretty makeup bag

Working-mom magazine

Writer Mom

Mom-writer book or eBook

Fancy pen or assortment of pens

Notepads or journal

Hip laptop bag

Writing magazine subscription

Zen Mom

Yoga mat

Desktop Zen garden

Yoga class gift certificate

Teapot with teacups

Green tea assortment ❖

Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz is a writer mom, a fitness mom, a gardening mom, a movie mom, a foodie mom, an inspired mom, and a decorator mom.

EMPHASIZING THE 8 CORE VIRTUES & EXCELLENT ACADEMICS

DEVELOPING GLOBAL AWARENESS& AN APPRECIATION OF ONE'S INHERENT SPIRITUAL WISDOM

May Calendar of Events

Wednesday 3

FREE Postpartum Planning for Expectant Parents. Two-hour online class for expectant parents (2nd & 3rd trimester), moms, birthing people, non-gestational parents, partners, couples & single parents. Held first & third Wednesdays of the month. May 3: 4:30 p.m. May 17: 10 a.m. Sponsored by Postpartum Support International (PSI). Registration required: tinyurl.com/yzka8ncs.

FREE Willits Library Storytime. Tuesdays–Fridays. 10:30–11 a.m. Willits Library. 390 E. Commercial St., Willits. tinyurl.com/av9c4h9s.

Thursday 4

Mendocino College Spring Dance Festival. Contemporary dance, ballet, hip-hop, jazz, tap & more. Choreographed by Mendocino College students & local dance

community. $10. May 4–6: 7:30 p.m. May 7: 2 p.m. Mendocino College Center Theater. 1000 Hensley Creek Rd., Ukiah. tinyurl.com/ksrw2a3y.

FREE Redbud Library Storytime. Stories, songs, crafts & games for young children & their parents. Registration not required. Thursdays. 10:15–10:45 a.m. Redbud Library.

14785 Burns Valley Rd., Clearlake. For a schedule of similar classes at other Lake County libraries: tinyurl.com/ mu53dtht

Friday 5

Cinco de Mayo Soiree. Outdoor garden party, live music & taco bar. Wine/ beer will be available for purchase. Silent & live auction of class projects. Adult (21+) only. $10. 4–7 p.m. Waldorf School of Mendocino. 6280 3rd St., Calpella. mendocinowaldorf.org.

FREE Formal Wear Drive. Donate gently used dresses, suits, tuxedos, accessories & shoes for teens who may not have access to fancy clothes for prom. All sizes needed. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Coast Community Branch Library. 225 Main St., Point Arena. tinyurl. com/mwkpfzbr.

FREE Walking Group. Take a 1-hour walk with group every week. Fridays. 9–10 a.m. Meet outside of Lakeport Library. 1425 N. High St., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/2s3c733r

FREE Dungeons & Dragons Club. Playing 5th edition D&D. Space is limited. Ages 13 & up. Fridays. 1–4 p.m. Middletown Library. 21256 Washington St., Middletown. Registration required: 707-987-3674. For a schedule of similar classes at other Lake County libraries: tinyurl. com/mu53dtht.

FREE Shade Canyon Playgroup. Outdoor, Waldorf-style group. For

ages 5 years & younger. Held first & third Fridays of each month. May 5 & 19. 10–11:30 a.m. Peace & Plenty Farm. 4550 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. shadecanyon.org/hosting-playgroups.

Saturday 6

Cinco de Mayo Celebration. Authentic Mexican dance performances, music, face-painting, vendors, children’s game area & more. Food & drinks available for purchase. Noon–6 p.m. Shanél Valley Academy. 1 Ralph Bettcher Dr., Hopland. tinyurl. com/364xbjw9

FREE Pastels on the Plaza. Local artists create artwork on pavement. Fundraiser for public school students who attend River Oak Charter School. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Alex Thomas Plaza. 310 S. State St., Ukiah. tinyurl. com/29whprek.

Soap Box Derby. Kids & adults create & race gravity-powered vehicles. Prizes awarded for fastest & most creative vehicle. 7:30–9 a.m. Dam Rd. Ext., Clearlake. lakecountybloom.com/ big-calendar.

Hopland Fire Fundraising BBQ. Live music by Derek Irving. Proceeds go toward essential firefighting equipment. $15–$30. Kids 8 & younger eat free. 5–10 p.m. Hopland Fire Protection District. 21 Feliz Creek Rd., Hopland. tinyurl.com/ hjzajche.

John Druecker Memorial

Rhododendron Show. One of the largest shows on the West Coast, with more than 800 entries. Cost included with Gardens admission: $8–$20; ages 5 & younger, free. May 6 & 7. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Mendocino

Coast Botanical Gardens. 18220 Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg. Tickets online only: gardenbythesea.org.

Spring Craft Fair. Product vendors, wine & food. Fundraiser for Humane Society for Inland Mendocino County. May 6 & 7. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Testa Coffee & Wine Shop. 9001 N.

State St., Redwood Valley. tinyurl. com/28af9ww3

Humane Society for Inland

Mendocino County 30th

Anniversary Gala. Cocktails, dinner & auction. $75. 5–10 p.m. Barra Winery. 7051 N. State St., Redwood Valley. tinyurl.com/bdhasrbw

16th Annual Lake County Renaissance Faire. Shakespearean theater, hands-on activities, live & silent auctions, local fruit & wine. Proceeds support Konocti Christian Academy. $10–$45. Free for ages 4 & younger. 9 a.m.–4 p.m. Lake County Fairgrounds. 401 Martin St., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/74z3f67k.

Spring Fling Car Show. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Skylark Shores Resort. 1120 N. Main St., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/ hrwu44mw

Show & Shine. Sponsored by Country Air Properties. Food, beer, live music & Main St. cruise. 6:30–9:30 p.m. 460

S. Main St., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/ hrwu44mw

FREE Self-Guided Hikes. 1.5-mile walk. Saturdays. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Rodman Preserve. 6350 Westlake Rd., Lakeport. lakecountylandtrust.org

FREE Nintendo Switch Saturday. Make new friends & play games. No registration required. May 6 & 20. 10 a.m.–noon. Redbud Library. 14785 Burns Valley Rd., Clearlake. For a schedule of similar classes at other Lake County libraries: tinyurl.com/ mu53dtht

Sunday 7

Pre-Mother’s Day Pops Concert. The Lake County Symphony Orchestra presents favorite stage & screen musical tunes. $25–$30. 2 p.m. (Open rehearsal at 11 a.m., $5 or free for ages 18 & younger.) Soper Reese Theatre. 275 S. Main St., Lakeport. soperreesetheatre.com/events.

FREE ukiaHaiku Festival. Featuring poetry readings, live shakuhachi & ukulele music & performances from students at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas’ boys’ school. 2–4 p.m. Grace Hudson Museum. Wild Gardens. 431 S. Main St., Ukiah. tinyurl.com/3xbhpmde.

Cinco de Mayo Fiesta. Live music, entertainment, food, drinks, health services, informational booths & more. 10:30–5:30 p.m. Library Park. 200 Park St., Lakeport. cityoflakeport.com/ calendar.php.

FREE First Fiddlers’ Jam. Listen to fiddle tunes played by members of the Northern California Old Time Fiddlers Group. Noon–2 p.m. Ely Stage Stop & Country Museum. 9921

Soda Bay Rd. (Hwy. 128), Kelseyville. elystagestop.com

FREE Ukiah Trail Group May Volunteer Day. Lunch provided at noon. Bring water bottle, gardening gloves & hat. 8:30 a.m.–2 p.m. Meet at Blue Zones Project Mendocino County office in Alex Rorabaugh Recreation Center. 1640 S. State St., Ukiah. Register: tinyurl.com/yfju3zm3

FREE Walk & Roll Movement Moai. A moai is a group of 5–8 people who walk together for an hour, once a week. Open to all. 1:30–2:30 p.m. Fort Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. See mendocinocounty. bluezonesproject.com/events for walks in other locations.

Tuesday 9

FREE Family Playgroup. Ages 0–5 years. Toys, snacks & free book. Tuesdays. 11 a.m.–1 p.m. Round Valley Family Resource Center. 76471 Henderson Ln., Covelo. tinyurl. com/3nnsr8h4.

Wednesday 10

FREE Queer & Trans Parent Online Support Group. Open to queer/ trans community who are expecting, adopting, and/or parenting babies up to 2 years of age. Wednesdays. 11:30 a.m. postpartum.net/get-help/ queer-parents.

Thursday 11

FREE Virtual Cookbook Club. Adults prepare, share & critique recipes & learn about new cookbooks at Lake County libraries. Noon–1 p.m. Visit tinyurl.com/mshtampy to register for Zoom link.

Friday 12

FREE Seed Library Planting Parties. Providing free empty 6-packs, soil & seeds. Held the 2nd Friday of the month. 1–3 p.m. Round Valley Farmers Market. 23925 Howard St., Round Valley. tinyurl.com/5e97ctmj

Saturday 13

LAKE COUNTY PASSION PLAY OUTDOOR

CHRISTIAN PLAY

Beethoven Symphony No. 1. Winners of the Ukiah Symphony Youth Concerto Competition perform. $10–$30. Mendocino College. 1000 Hensley Creek Rd., Ukiah. May 13: 7:30 p.m. May 14: 2 p.m. Pre-concert SATURDAY

Christian Play for People of all Faiths

Free Admission

Please join us in the Passion, Death, Resurrection and Ascension of our Lord, Jesus Christ, here in beautiful Lake County, California.

• Free of charge; donations are gratefully accepted.

• Bring your own chair.

• No smoking, food, drink, or pets on grounds.

• Water available.

• Facilities for the handicapped.

707-263-0349

HELP

Like

talk 1 hr. before each show. tinyurl. com/494xt7st

Farmstead Flights & Bites: Mother’s Day. Flight of estate wines, including new release rosé, paired with farmstead cheese & meat bites. Vegetarian options available with advance request. Adult (21+): $45. May 13 & 14. Pennyroyal Farm. 14930 Hwy. 128, Boonville. store.pennyroyalfarm.com/pages/ farm-events

Farmstead Fodder: Kids Meet Kids. Family farm tour & cheese board. $35. 11 a.m.–1 p.m. Pennyroyal Farm. 14930 Hwy. 128, Boonville. store.pennyroyalfarm.com/pages/ farm-events

Mother’s Day Grazing Board Class. Make & take 9x9 grazing board. Learn how to cut & style different cheeses, fruits & vegetables & to fold salami. $75. 1–3 p.m. Angry Baker Studio. 568 Lakeport Blvd., Lakeport. Sign-up: angry-baker.square.site/#.

FREE Anderson Marsh Guided Nature Walk. Walks are 1.5–3 hours, depending on route. Bring water, sturdy shoes & binoculars. Rain cancels walk. 8:30 a.m. Anderson Marsh State Historic Park. 8400 Hwy. 53, Lower Lake. andersonmarsh.org/ nature_walks.html.

FREE Spring Jazz Concert. Featuring the Dorian May Trio. 6–7 p.m. Fort Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. fortbragglibrary.org.

FREE Superhero Party. Kids perform tasks & earn Superhero Academy certificate. Snacks provided. 2–3 p.m. Fort Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. fortbragglibrary.org

Dirty Hands, Clean Rides Car Show. 1979 & earlier American-made cars & trucks. Prizes, raffles & food. 1–5 p.m. Konocti Vista Casino & Resort. 2755 Mission Rancheria Rd., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/2jmy2ujc

Sunday 14

Mother’s Day at the Mercantile. Enjoy a glass of wine while listening to live music by Austin & Owens, a neo-flamenco duo. Drink tickets are $10. 1–3 p.m. Shannon Family of Wine Mercantile. 4350 Thomas Dr.,

*Grand Marshal Lonne Sloan*

Kelseyville. lakecountybloom.com/ big-calendar

Mother’s Day Brunch. Featuring live music by the Jules Leyhe Trio. 10:30 a.m.–2 p.m. Blue Wing Restaurant. 9520 Main St., Upper Lake. tinyurl. com/3zsdmp5v.

Mother’s Day Brunch. Glass of rosé, brunch & live music. Blooming gardens for photos. Reservations required. Children welcome. $15–$45. 10 a.m.–1 p.m. Barra Winery. 7051 N. State St., Redwood Valley. Reservations: 707-485-0322.

Mother’s Day’s Rosé Brunch. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. The Stock Farm. 13441 Hwy. 101, Hopland. stockfarmhopland. com/private-events

Friday 19

Pinot Fest Fun. Enjoy all things Pinot this special weekend in Anderson Valley. Relax in the beautiful historic orchard. Walk-ins welcome; reservations recommended. $20. May 19–21. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Gowan’s Apple Orchards. 6320 Hwy. 128, Philo (1/4 mile north of Gowan’s Apple Stand). gowansheirloomcider.com.

Saturday 20

Annual Catfish Derby. Tournament features separate divisions for adults & kids. Food, entertainment & more than $10,000 in cash & merchandise prizes. Registration: adults, $50; ages 15 & younger, $10. Fishing starts May 19 at noon, ends May 21 at noon. Derby headquarters: Clearlake Oaks Fire Station. 12655 E. Hwy. 20, Clearlake Oaks. tinyurl.com/ y7mc9a6n.

FREE Lake County Passion Play. Outdoor Christian play for people of all faiths. May 20 & 21. 4–6 p.m. Bring own chair. No smoking, food, drinks, or pets. Water available. Facilities for handicapped. 7010 Westlake Rd., Upper Lake. lakecountypassionplay.org

FREE Children’s Life Jacket

Giveaway. US Coast Guard

Auxiliary will distribute life jackets for kids ages 12 years & younger. Guardian must accompany children. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Library Park (gazebo). 200 Park St., Lakeport. cityoflakeport.com/calendar.php

FREE Pajama Storytime. Kids sing, rhyme & read in pajamas. Bring blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, or any self-soothing item. Saturdays. 5–5:30 p.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. tinyurl. com/2p8v6awt.

It’s About Time. More than 75 students, ages 8–16, perform a SPACE-style original show that takes the audience on a journey through time. $10–$15. May 20: 2 & 6 p.m. May 21: 2 p.m. Near & Arnold’s School of Performing Arts. 508 W. Perkins St., Ukiah. tinyurl. com/mp8h83sz .

Sunday 21

FREE Children’s Museum of Art & Science Adventure Day Camp. Scavenger hunts, owl pellet dissection, fishing instruction & more. Limited to 30 kids. Held every 4th Sunday: May 21, June 25, July 23 & Aug. 27. Noon–5 p.m. Clear Lake Campground. 7805 Cache Creek Way,

Clearlake. 707-295-1030. tinyurl. com/2p8mvzck

FREE Kelseyville Artisan Market. 20+ local designers & makers. Treats & lunch items for purchase. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Kelseyville Event Center. 5345 3rd St., Kelseyville. tinyurl. com/3mhtpxhd

Friday 26

FREE The 101s: Songwriting & Ukulele. Steve Hahm & Rosie Wetzel teach basics of songwriting & simple ukulele chords. Bring own ukulele or use a Mendocino County Library Card to check out one from the library. 4:30–5:30 p.m. Ukiah Regional Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. 707-463-4490. tinyurl.com/hvxs7826

Potter Valley Spring Festival & Rodeo. Parade, rodeo, dance, vendors & more. Some events free, others $15 or free for ages 10 & younger. May 27: Parade on Main St. at 11 a.m. Dance at 8 p.m. May 28: BBQ at 11:30 a.m. May 29: Memorial Day Service at 9 a.m. Potter Valley Park. 10747 Main St., Potter Valley. Schedule: pottervalleyrodeo.com/schedule

Saturday 27

FREE Potter Valley Memorial Day Parade. 11 a.m. Main St., Potter Valley. pvycc.org

Lakeport Kiwanis Pancake Breakfast. $10. 5 years & younger: free. Benefits Lake County 4-H Program. 7–11 a.m. Silveira

Community Center. 500 N. Main St., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/3b36ua92

FREE Memorial Day Parade. 11 a.m. Main St., Lakeport. cityoflakeport. com/calendar.php.

Moonalice. Featuring an all-star band that plays a unique blend of psychedelic soul & rock-tinged Americana. Concert for KPFZ Lake County Community Radio. $25. 4:20 p.m. Cache Creek Winery. 250 New Long Valley Rd. (off Hwy. 20), Clearlake Oaks. tinyurl.com/4ruwk9zs.

Sunday 28

FREE Lower Lake Daze Parade & Street Fair. Live music, vendors, food/drinks for purchase. Parade starts: 11 a.m. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Main St., Lower Lake. tinyurl.com/2sjm9f7d.

Potter Valley Youth & Community Center Presents this Year’s Memorial Day Parade Theme…

There are many categories to enter including floats, cars, tractors, animals, bikes, and more!

Cash prizes for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place!!

Moms-Only Vacay

Goodbye, Kids. Hello, Mexico!

By Jessica Guerrieri

I did a very cool thing. Without any struggle, I convinced five of my best mom-friends to escape to Mexico with me in honor of my ten-year sobriety anniversary. We’d create our own version of The Real Housewives—only sober. That would mean zero airtime, since Bravo’s bread-and-butter is drunken buffoonery, but who cares?

So, we left all 13 of our children with our partners and embarked on a trip of a lifetime—one we now plan on recreating every year.

I researched all the ways to experience bourgeoisie-ness sans alcohol. Initially, we were given the side-eye when, upon arrival, our driver offered us Coronas. Those of us who were fluent in Spanish tried to explain that no, we were celebrating my recovery and the unique bond we had formed as we

mothered during the pandemic. But when he said, “OK, but can you still drink Tequila?” I was pretty sure he did not understand.

Since the ocean is my love language, I wanted to rent a place that was smack dab on the beach. So I found an Airbnb that was literally built on sand—my engineering husband’s worst architectural nightmare but my dream come true. It was magical. We swam in an ocean the temperature of bathwater. We walked down hidden alleys decorated with colorful papel picados strung overhead, and discovered food trucks that served us authentic Mexican fare. We even brought a yoga instructor to the house and had a private class during what ended up being the most spectacular sunset of our trip.

Of course, I recognize how incredibly privileged I am to have the money and resources to even afford a trip away, not to mention a partner who supported a very busy home-life with three young daughters while I was gone. And I am grateful. Every, single moment of my time in Mexico, I remembered to say to myself, “Stop! Look how lucky you are!” I’ve spent ten years inside the recognition that I should have died from the disease of addiction. So the enormity of my gratitude is no small thing.

I arrived state-side empowered, ready to take on the world—and infected with norovirus. It spread like wildfire through the family. All five of us slept in the bathroom for a week straight.

In a classic amateur-mom move, I texted my friends after we recovered: “Mexico gave me the strength not only to handle what felt like a mental-health test, but, dare I say, thrive under it? Ok not thrive… but I had patience, fortitude, and grace during the entire ordeal.”

Looking back at my smugness, I can’t say I deserved to get lice. However, it did appear that the universe wished to extend the testing of my motherly patience. Even though we are now norovirus- and lice-free, I told my husband that it would be safer for everyone if he hid my passport. I’m one mental-health test away from fleeing back to the land of warm waters and stunning sunsets. But I’ll wait—‘til next year.

Jessica Guerrieri is a mom, humorist, and writer. Find her at witandspitup.com and on Instagram @witandspitup.

Stop and Smell the Rhodos

Rhododendrons flourish in cool, damp climates. So coastal Mendocino County is a great place to grow them. Local green thumbs will bring their best rhodo blossoms to the 44th Annual John Druecker Memorial Rhododendron Show at the Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens in Fort Bragg. Featuring more than 800 entries, the show will be held May 6–7, 10 a.m.–4 p.m., and is free to attend. Besides the show, the Gardens will also host Rhododendron Walks, which will highlight its more than 124 species of rhododendrons and 315 taxa in peak bloom. The walks will be held on Saturdays in May at 1 p.m. and are free with regular admission ($8–$20; free for ages 5 and younger). Find out more at gardenbythesea.org.

Celebrate Memorial Day

Lower Lake is usually a sleepy little town. But on May 28 it will come alive with the free Lower Lake Daze Parade and Street Fair. The Memorial Day festivities will feature live music, vendors, and food and drink on Main Street, 10 a.m.–3 p.m. And at 11 a.m. Grand Marshall Lonne Sloan will lead a parade through downtown. Find out more on the Facebook page of the Lower Lake Community Action Group: tinyurl.com/4jhx8ewp

• Experiential learning with field trips, arts

• Respectful and caring learning community Peace education and

•

AN EXCITING NEW KIDS’ NOVEL

For ages 9–18 Readers are calling the book “really, really suspenseful,” “fast-paced and action-packed,” and “with a couple of very likable heroes.”

Grab a copy and see for yourself!