From the Editors
Hoppy Volentine’s Doy. When I was a kid (aka elementary school) Valentine’s Day meant chocolate, a festive party, and candy grams. I just viewed it as a second Halloween. It meant making cards for every single kid in my class. In middle school, I didn’t have any more Valentine’s Day parties, and I just kind of ignored the holiday. Now, in high school, for some reason I’ve developed a sharp distaste for the holiday, seeing as I detest the color pink and any holiday with an excess of it, in my opinion, should be expelled from the calendar. Speaking of pink, pink is also the “color” of hearts. And speaking of hearts, Where is your heart? You guys have probably heard it time and time again, but where you put your time and energy and thought into- that is where your heart is. It could be sports, music, drama, items, artists, anything. Isn’t it ironic that we take other blessings of God and turn them into our idols when they were meant for our pleasure so that we may just naturally turn to God in praise and worship. Speaking of hearts, hearts usually symbolize love. Love. What a tragic and liberating word. (thinking of Romeo and Juliet, which I regard as a ridiculous waste of two young lives) People have lost so much and gained so little, it seems, over love. I used to be a strong advocate against high school relationships, but now (gonna be honest) I’m in one, I don’t know what to think. Now I just am able to say I’m against the high school relationships that last about a week, the kind in which both persons are completely dependent on each other, to the point in which they have to be together all the time. I’m against the relationships that exist for solely physical purposes, the kind that lack communication and base foundation on lust. I’m against the relationships in which one person is used for emotional baggage, the ones that are one-sided. I guess I’m being vague here… Speaking of love, I really hate how the media has twisted our generation’s idea of love into something only a whisper of what it really is. The media portrays love like an obsession (you know what movies I’m talking about), portrays love solely as sex (hence the term making love). No, no, no, no, no Homework for you guys: read 1 Corinthians 13. THAT is love. Love is patient, Love is kind. Love is when you care about the person and you want to make them happy over yourself. Love is unselfish. Yupyup Enjoy any leftover chocolate you may have. Or give them to me! And enjoy break.
- Kelly Yu
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From the Editors ONE TRUE (HUMAN) VALENTINE
*IMPORTANT NOTE: There are some Vine articles that the editors write that could change your life forever; they are from the heart and not meant to just take up space. This is one of them. Most will read, think of it as a good thought or interesting theory, but then turn away and live on with their lives. If you take this article into serious consideration, your life may never be the same. Isn’t it true that God has a perfect plan for us? Yes. That was rhetorical. But God’s perfect plan is in perfect action when we submit our whole selves to him in prayer. It is true that He can bless us in whatever circumstances we are in once we turn back to Him (because of His grace), but it is not until we surrender our whole hearts and souls that we receive the fullness of his blessings for us. A convenient and quite relative example can be found in the story of King David. In 2 Samuel 11, the Bible accounts that David had an immoral affair with Bathsheba that greatly displeased the Lord. Because of this, the Lord was not able to bless David as bountifully as He could have when David’s will was His own. However, when David repented his sins, the Lord took them away and blessed David in still wonderful ways. That is why I believe in soul mates; if we could just completely let go of our selfish desires to control our own lives and follow Him with all of our hearts, God will lead the way. To do this is to die to ourselves daily and pray for your heart to mirror His in every way. If we run hard enough after Him and love the Lord with all that we are, He will find someone that runs at the same pace and loves to run with you. After all, God delights in nothing less than in blessing His children. “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4 The truth is, though, when we live by “to live is Christ”, Christ is life, and we are already whole.
- Melody Zhang
From the Editors In the spirit of Valentine’s Day... I used to be super against high school relationships! But I never really had a reason, you know? It was just because my older high school friends that I looked up to either weren’t in a relationship, or were also against them. For my writing purposes, I will categorize three situations: either you’re in a relationship, you have that one crush that can light up your world, or you’re too cool for a relationship. I have been in all three situations! (I’m not really “cool” according to the last category, but you get the point.) The exclamation mark does not go to say that being in a relationship, or not being in a relationship during high school, is good or bad; I think you grow a lot from them, but you can also grow a lot without them. Because Jesus is our one true lover! Yeah!! Anyway. Let me tell you about my experience in categorized situation #1, in a nutshell. When my parents told me I was too immature to date in high school, I was pretty indignant. Like what?!?!? I’m not mature enough?? (Please. You don’t think I’m mature???) Misconception #1. Misconception #2: Okay, so I am immature. You know how you often see things in hindsight that you want to punch yourself for not seeing before? I thought that I could put God first in my relationship, but turns out even while I was doing my devos and walking with God more than I ever have before, I was also, somewhat unconsciously, becoming more and more emotionally attached to the guy, not Jesus. You see, I overestimated how much of my heart was completely God’s. Misconception #3: How much of my heart?! No; ALL of my heart should be God’s, at all times, even when I am in a relationship. 4
So then I stepped back a little. About time, right?? I’m all about “oh, my parents are too old for this generation they don’t understand me” but that is Foolishness messing with my brain. If your parents or an adult or a trusted older friend ever tells you you’re too immature, don’t be dumb like me and ignore them, because it’s probably true. 99.999999999% chance. I thank God that He got through to me as early as He did, because if it had been just a little later, the relationship probably would have fallen apart. Pursuing God takes a lifetime in itself, and even then it would never be enough time. Even if we had a thousand years to praise Him, we would still run out of time. Not to mention when you start giving your heart to other people. Satan likes to take our good intentions and manipulate them, and us. Not to be a downer, but it’s true! Our spirit is willing, but our flesh is so weak. It’s really hard to be in a relationship in high school. Giving up all of your heart to God in the first place is difficult enough, without having a relationship you want to divide your heart evenly for. It just doesn’t work that way. After I got my first taste of the reality of God’s goodness, and His love, His joy, His peace, I could not stop wanting more. There is nothing you will want more than to fall deeply in love with JESUS, and no one else. But even now, even when I am learning everyday how to love my God with all my heart, soul, and mind, there comes with it so many struggles. Struggles to live your life with God’s glory flooding through you and out from you. Loving Jesus isn’t easy. Thus having a relationship outside of the amazingly beautiful one you have with Christ is even harder because you have to die daily to your desires. And yeah, sitting here now as I type this out, I’m awestruck at just how young I am. (And I’m old. I’m 18. How old are you?) I’m naive, and I’m inexperienced, and yes, in short, just totally immature. We’re all growing in who we are in Christ, and that should come first and foremost. Wherever you are, in whatever situation you are in (and not just regarding romantic relationships!) giving your heart wholly to God is the key to a happy life. It doesn’t even stop there! Jesus is the key to everlasting joy. But you’re going to have to pursue God relentlessly and experience Him for yourself!
- Sharon Shen
Who am I
Hi, my name is Esther! I am 16 years old, go to Athens High School, and my favorite food is probably hot cheetos, since I bring them to school every other day and eat them in math. Always. Math is my favorite class to eat in because it’s right between breakfast and lunch, and my first and third hour teachers don’t let me eat in class anyway so second hour is the best hour. I really enjoy singing and playing guitar, and sometimes I also enjoy piano and violin (and flute???) but I’m not very good at any of the above four (five), but it’s okay because I think they’re all fun. I have a freshman brother. He’s cute you should go say hi because he’s even more socially awkward than I am (…just kidding. I’m probably the more socially awkward between the two of us). I was really into kpop at one point but I’m not really anymore. I run cross country and track but I’m really slow so if you ever watch me run it’s pretty embarrassing. I also make really dumb faces and all the parents like taking pictures so I just look ridiculous and honestly, I’m not sure how my face even contorts like that? but you know, whatever. Running is fun but not really but yes really and also everything is comparable to running. Running is life, blah blah blah et cetera. You know. Sometimes I like to write but as you can clearly see here every other sentence is a run-on so obviously I’m not terribly good at it. The only reasons I write are when I have to do essays for English (which are sad and I’m awful at analysis) and when I am forced asked to write for the Vine (ahem, editors. You’re welcome. KIDDING I love you all.) But I also realize that while all these things describe me, they are not what define me. I am more than just a runner who likes eating hot cheetos in math class. I am more than a singer, more than just another high school student. I am created by the most amazing, infinite God, the creator of the heavens and the earth and all the starts in our galaxy (and outside our galaxy). The hands that held the stars were the hands that formed me. Me, a nobody compared to the millions, billions, trillions of people that have wandered this world since its creation. I am loved by the One who sent his son, his only son, to die in my place, so that I don’t have to face the consequences for my actions. I am cared for by a God who cares for sparrows sold two for a penny, and clothes the flowers of the field so that they are more beautiful than Solomon in all his finery. These things that describe me are what God has given me. And this is what defines me: I am a child of God.
- Esther Yan
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- Christine Leong
—Michelle Shen
Features
Beg I stand before the door. The wind howls behind me, the snow scatters before me. I see a world behind me, a world before me, worlds and worlds packed into a world. I wish I could touch them. My hand tries to leave its pocket, but swiftly returns from the biting cold and blistering gale. Standing there, so loud, so much quiet noise. So quiet, I wonder if anybody is home. Am I home? “Am I home?” My whisper trails away as fast as it left my mouth. Not yet. Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Days. Months. Years. Decades. Who knows how long I will stay there, hoping to one day finally get enough courage to just go? To let go? Even though it’s cold, I kind of like it here. I can peer at the stars; look back at those crooked roads. I can look down at the frosty ground, breathe in putridly delicious air, close my eyes and dream of many wonderful dreams. Maybe even nightmares too, but that’s part of the journey. I can go and achieve greater heights, work harder, find someone to love, find something to fight for, find a purpose of my own. Of course… I can’t. I reach for the stars and the avalanche brings me down. I let people in, but they tread so harshly it hurts. I go and assume identities, forge masks, create and recreate myself, all for the hopes of acceptance, but they look beyond that and are disgusted. I knock at their doors. “Can I join you?” They wonder who I am. Friends. Family. All strangers before me, somehow. Strange… They slam them shut. Loud, but so quiet. Plummets into my soul. I run up the mountain, slip and fall. I tread slowly up, stumble and fall. I crawl up, lose my hold and fall. Always, always, always, back to the door. That stupid door. What is that door supposed to mean anyway? That barrier between me and God? Barrier between me and my friends? Why that? What purpose? Again I look at the door. It is small. Wooden. Broken down. But somehow that door feels so powerful. I feel like it would shatter my fantasy world. All the pain but also the broken hope, broken joy, broken love I’ve found, all to be washed away somehow. But I don’t know if I want that. This is my world, my life, who I am. What of freedom of choice? But honestly, do I really feel freedom? All of these dreams slip away. Those I love slip away. Purposes to fight for slip away. My trek up the mountains slip away. Everything I do slip away as I fall once more to where I was before. Everything I do amounts to nothing. Meaningless. I am chained to my own self. To imperfection. To these temptations surrounding me. Chained from reaching toward the heavens, to the top of the mountain. The freedom I sought for so much somehow… also wore a mask. How hypocritical of us. Sometimes I am angry, scream and shout. Let those mountains move. Give me faith again. Why don’t I feel you? Sometimes I am afraid. Maybe I will never reach those towering heights. Maybe I will always fall down. Maybe next time, I won’t get up. Sometimes I lose hope. I can’t bear this anymore. Let my walls fall down. Break me. Sometimes I lose faith. Does this God even exist? Is He really worth fighting for? Do I really trust in Him? 8
But sometimes I am charged. Spiritual high. Emotions in a wave of chaos through my soul, and in that frenzy I run to the door, fling my arms out, clench them in fists, knock, knock, knock, punch at the door. God! God! I am here! Let me in! I want to feel your love, this perfect love. I want to feel your hope, this perfect hope. I want to feel your peace, this perfect peace. I want to love you, this perfect God. Why won’t you let me in? I can’t bear this nightmare of a reality anymore. No matter what I do, I can’t do anything. I have these chains, clenched fists, dried tears, broken pieces of many, many hopes, a dead innocence. I have so much trash, garbage, filth. I have become less than the scum of the earth. But still I want to know you. I want to know you. I want to know you. Why won’t you let me in God? Jesus? Didn’t you die in the cross for me? Why won’t you… open the door? Eventually, my knocks stop. Silence roars in my ears again. Tears wiped away. Hands returned to my pockets. Sliding back. Peering at the door. Again, a crossroads. So many worlds. I turn to that dusty book. Bible. Maybe holy words spilled on human paper, written by human minds, but crafted by perfection… I read. I read. I preach. Write about devotionals. What has God taught me? Well, you see, this and that, this and that. Rant. Rant. Rant. Talk. Talk. Talk. Prayer. Pray? Spill my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my wants, my needs, my wants. Talk. Oh wait I have so many other things to do. Distractions. Talk. Talk. School. Friends. Relationships. College. Grades. Homework. Tests. Assignments. Those mountains pile higher and higher, closer and closer. I huddle closer to the door, afraid to try again lest I fall, afraid to knock lest I am reminded that God is not there for me. What to do? What to do? What to do? Clouds come again, lightening, rain, the snow melts. Avalanche turns to flood, and I am swept off my feet. Going under. Resurface. Wave crashes over me. I can’t see, hear, breathe. I am drowning. Somebody… save me. People. Their accountability. Encouragement. Hope for me. Love. I swim up. Splash out. Flying up above the sea. Somehow the water freezes. I fall on ice. Stand. Slip. Stand. Slip. I see the door. Again. I see the ice cracking beneath me as I see my friends struggle too. I am depending on brokenness to keep me afloat. I am relying on others’ imperfections. I will surely… fall again. I don’t want to fall. I don’t want to go back. But sometimes I do, you know? The past is a horribly beautiful thing, so much twisted joy, hurt that makes it fun, blossoming of our deepest, darkest desires. A hell of pleasure, a world of evil. To drown in myself… to let go in a different way, sometimes I am so tempted to do so. So tempted. But I… walk to the door again. I don’t move away. I don’t knock. I stand there, confused, lost, alone, devoid of feelings. I am hollow.
But right before the ice breaks beneath me Between choosing to die or live and believe I finally hear the sound of the door A realization like never before I hear knocks reverberating through the silence The other side, has always… been knocking Jesus was knocking on my door. Asking me, asking me, “Won’t you open?” I see then... nails So many nails nailed to that door My door, protected by Christ Bled and beat to save my dirty soul My stupid, worthless, ugly soul Blood trickles down, and I almost want to back away Stay away from me; I don’t want to give up everything When you have been giving everything from the start How He truly, truly Loves us Crossroads again, again, again Fear again, again, again Insecurity again, again, again Will I, this time, give everything up? Empty my hands? He is knocking. He is knocking. You don’t need to knock on others’ doors anymore and beg for a warm place to stay. He is begging you to open your door for Him. Close your eyes. Shh, don’t say anything. Not prayer, not devotional, not empty words diffused to God. Listen to Him. He is desperately searching for you. He is knocking. He is knocking. He is knocking. The choice is ours. Will we let Him in? Either way He will love us anyway. What Crazy Love. This is where the Healing begins.
-Peter Sun 10
-Esther Yan
More Features
EDITORIAL FROM THE WONDERFUL VINE STAFF: How To AGAPE LOVE Your Lover 1. Make their happiness your happiness. 2. Remember that love is a choice, and action, and a commitment, not just words. 3. Don’t ever underestimate the value of relationships. The greatest thing you will ever learn is to love and to be loved in return. 4. Make them pie on random days just to show you care. 5. Even if they say they don’t want anything for their birthdays, buy them the most heartfelt and meaningful things or just show up. 6. Love her by loving God.
Spotlight: Mr. & Mrs. Lee Q: How did you two meet? A: During college at a reunion for our elementary school classmates. We had the same 2nd grade teacher, but we didn’t remember that at the time. We even lived a 5 minute walk away from each other’s houses, but we never knew! Q: So what happened next? Mr. Lee: Nothing. I had a girlfriend at that time; we had been dating for two years. We also went to different colleges. I was at the National Taiwan University, and Mrs. Lee was at Chinese Cultural University. One of my elementary school classmates encouraged me to pursue Mrs. Lee, though. So I used the excuse of borrowing a book from her, and that was how we started talking. After that I started asking her out. Q: Mrs. Lee, did you like Mr. Lee at that time? A: No. I just thought he was borrowing a book! Q: How long did you date for before getting married? Mr. Lee: Four years. We were both 25 years old and working by then. When we got married, we were not Christian. If you ask me, I cannot say I knew that Mrs. Lee was the right person for me. But everyone has the capacity for another person; it’s not about if the girl or guy is exactly “right” for you, but how you decide to work with the other person for the rest of your life. Q: What would have happened if you never believed in Christ? A: We would probably be divorced. When you have different value systems, and you cannot get along, then you just start over again. Q: How long have you been married? A: Almost 26 years, on June 13th. Q: How do you do it? 26 years of marriage, plus 4 years of dating before that. Mr. Lee: As husband and wife, one of the biggest challenges is living together for so many years . You have different values, different priorities, and different ways of thinking. It is a growing process; instead of asking the other person to accommodate you, you build common ground and grow together. As you grow older, you know better, and you accept each other. Mrs. Lee: You know the other person’s strength, and learn to not push the wrong button. Mr. Lee: You learn to appreciate the other person; no one’s perfect. Mrs. Lee understands me. I have no need to put on any protection; I can really be myself and she will accept me, so she is very comfortable to be around. We are still expanding our friendship. Mrs. Lee: I have to be willing to forgive. Sometimes Mr. Lee’s words will make me angry, but sometimes my words will make him angry. I read Genesis 1. God created Eve to be Adam’s helper; whenever I am angry, I read those words and I remember that I am Mr. Lee’s helper. When Mr. Lee came to America to get his PhD, I came for a PHT: push husband through! 12
Q: Mr. Lee, what do you like about Mrs. Lee? Mrs. Lee: Everything! Mr. Lee: At first, I liked her lively spirit. She was very outgoing, while I was an introvert. She was very pretty, too. Then I admired how Mrs. Lee was very strong. She wasn’t superwoman, but she could handle things and take care of herself. Now, well, our relationship is like old friends. Mrs. Lee: I can finish his sentences! Mr. Lee: She looks at things more maturely, accepts me, understands me, but she also still has a lively heart and can do crazy things. If I could do this all over again, I would still choose Mrs. Lee. Q: Mrs. Lee, what about you? A: Mr. Lee was my very first boyfriend! Although I had a lot of guy friends. Mr. Lee had a lot of integrity. And he was very intelligent, too. Now, Mr. Lee has even more integrity through God’s guidance, and he sees things from a better perspective based on the Bible. In the family, he is a very good spiritual support. Q: Are high school relationships okay? Mr. Lee: Yes, within certain boundaries, especially with physical contact. Mrs. Lee: All three of our kids were different, so we had to use different ways to give them guidelines. Mr. Lee: I think when you are in high school, you are just not mature enough. Especially when your family is not that close, you will feel like you need someone that you can open up to, someone that can understand you. I would encourage group dating. Mrs. Lee: We told our kids that their friends were welcome at our house anytime. Mr. Lee: If you want to date one on one, you need to have a very good understanding of the purpose of dating, and really the purpose should be marriage. A break up is a breakup, but it would be because the person is not the right spouse for you, not just for an experience. Q: What is your favorite thing to do with each other? A: Take walks after dinner. We also like to go on vacation together!
Spotlight: Brent & Beth Q: How did you meet? Beth: We both worked as editors of our school paper sophomore year, and that’s how we got closer as friends. But what got us really close is when Brent took an Urban youth ministry class spring of that year. Around that time he felt God was calling him to full time youth ministry and it was around that same time that I felt God was calling me to full time youth ministry and so this class sparked a lot of discussion between us. Q: How long did you date for? Beth: We started dating around the end of sophomore year, Brent: We got engaged at Easter of our junior year. Beth: So we’d been dating for two years. Brent: Then we got engaged for a year... Beth: ...and we were married the June of 2005, after we graduated from Toccoa Falls. Q: Were you each other’s first boyfriend/girlfriend? Beth: Yep, and we were each other’s first kiss. (SO CUTE—from the editors) Q: How long have you been married? A: Almost 8 years on June 18th. Q: What is one difficulty of a relationship or marriage? Beth: I think when you’re first in a relationship there’s a lot of expectations. You come from different families, and so your perception of how a relationship should work is based on your own experience of your parents. So then you have two different people coming with two different perspectives and just learning to communicate, compromise, and work through things together. Brent: One of the other biggest things is when you communicate and how you communicate. Something that was stressed in our pre-marital counseling is how you fight and talk and argue. It’s going to happen in any relationship once you get past the infatuation stage. Arguing is not bad, but there’s a right way to argue, and that’s where you communicate how you feel. The focus is then on your perspective and not personalizing it and condemning the other person. Especially for guys…guys naturally come from a perspective that is logical and they don’t really connect the logical and the emotional side of their thinking well. Beth: And girls are constantly doing that. Like “what does he mean by that?” Brent: That’s one of the biggest conflicts that comes into any relationship: just understanding the gender differences and the way we process things but just always being loving; that’s the big thing. Q: What’s one thing you like the best about the other? Brent: I like her feistiness. Beth: Is it because I fight with you? Brent: It’s not because you fight; there’s a spark in you. Most people think she’s quiet, she’s a mother, she’s shorter... Beth: Hey! What’s the short thing have to do with anything... Brent: But some people, when they first meet you, maybe think you’re docile. But she has such more spunk in her, and I like that. I’d get bored with someone who’s just compliant Beth: I keep him in line. Brent: I’ll purposely just poke at her to get her riled up. 14
Q: What about you, Beth? Beth: I’m gonna go with a serious one. Even when we were dating, this was evident to me and has followed through and been true in our marriage as well: Brent is just really a man of prayer. One thing I really appreciate, even when he makes mistakes and has to apologize, is how he listens to God and allows himself to be corrected and make changes to be better for it. Q: Brent, how did you propose? Brent: There’s a duck pond that Beth loves, so we went to the duck pond and started walking around…the sun’s setting, and she’s taking pictures of the ducks and swans. I told her I had to go to the car real quick. I had put together a whole book of all the things we had done: letters, movie tickets, theater tickets. She starts flipping through and she gets to the last page and there’s this big picture of the ring and it says will you marry me. She looks at it but she doesn’t realize the ring is in the memory book with it. So then I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. Q: What is your favorite memory? Beth: My favorite memory is when Brent first asked me to date him seriously. He drove me to this park and he takes me to the swing set. We literally drove 40 minutes away and then had this huge hike to get to the swing set, then we hiked back down and I thought we were going to go back. But Brent was like “no, no, no.” He had this picnic with all my favorite foods and drinks but he kept checking his watch and I was like “it’s fine if you have to go back,” but again he was like “no, no, no, no, no.” So then we go to this big overlook and it’s gorgeous; the sun is starting to set, and that’s the significant part. Brent proposed when the sun was setting, same as when he asked me out. So he says I have something for you, runs to the car and comes back with his hands behind his back. He brings his hand out and it’s a yellow rose. He’s like it stands for friendship and I appreciate your friendship and value your friendship Then he says I have something else for you, runs back up and comes back down and hands me a white rose, and says I appreciate the purity that I see in your life and the way you honor God; I want our relationship to reflect that. And then he says “one more time.” And this time he comes back with a red rose bouquet. He had written out this whole list of 30 to 40 different things that he admired and loved about me. Then he asked me if I wanted to go out, like steady, and I was like “uhmm…yeah!” What really cemented it for me was he sat down beside me and he’s like I really want to pray and dedicate our relationship to God, wherever that will take us. And so we sat down right there and prayed. That’s when I knew, “yep, this is the one!” Q: What do you like to do together for fun? Brent: Watch football. Beth: Definitely. He’d also take me out and have coupons for chick fillet sandwiches. And if we splurged, we’d split a waffle fry basket. We’d also go out with a bunch of friends and go to the movies. Brent: There was a theater in Atlanta that does all of Shakespeare’s plays. Beth: We were also involved in a youth ministry together in college for at risk youth. We volunteered at the Boys and Girls Club, too. Q: What is your view on high school relationships? Beth: Well this is what Brent and I have decided to tell our kids. For our children we’re going to have the rule like no dating before 16, because you’re too young before that. It’s also going to be based on their maturity, and our trust level of them. Getting into any relationship where you’re going to be dating, and when you’re focused on a person exclusively, is a serious step. The problem with starting in high school is if you’re not careful about setting up boundaries, you can progress through the natural steps of emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy at an accelerated rate.
Brent: Even though you’re beginning to understand the things of adulthood, you’re not quite there yet; you have a growth process that is incomplete, and trying to hurry up the process towards marriage too early leaves you in a certain stunted growth state. You need time to grow into the person God wants you to be individually before you can grow into the person that God wants you to be as a couple. Also, in high school you don’t always know where you’re going to be in life, and how that fits with each other. We’ve seen people who date through high school and get to college and get broken up because they realize that what they want to do in life is in two separate places. When you get into an exclusive relationship too young, the tendency is also to eliminate your social friend groups. Beth: Building a friendship first is so key, because then you’re kind of setting up a safeguard for yourself already. You’re not just jumping into a relationship right away, and you have more of a perspective of seeing like that guy or girl as a brother or sister in Christ so you want to treat them with respect, want to treat them with honor and not do anything to compromise their purity in any way. You have to hold yourself accountable, and hold yourself accountable to someone else. Q: How did you end up at Oasis? Brent: We knew we were being called into youth ministry, but we were trying to figure out exactly where that was. Beth’s heart has always been with at risk youth, and developing what that looks like but really understanding that at youth risk can be anywhere. For me, God really laid on my heart the desire for cross cultural youth. Beth: We contemplated going overseas to serve in Thailand. I guess realizing that when God called us to ministry, we didn’t really realize what that meant. We were open to wherever God wanted us to go. Brent: But it never crossed my mind that I would be doing cross cultural ministry here in America. We had our resume out there but nothing ever really followed through. We started out working in group homes for adolescents in the Philadelphia court system, but God shut the door on that. He was saying, “yes this is a way you can minister, but I want you ministering in a full-time church setting.” So we were just waiting and then out of the blue [Pastor Shen] called me. I did a phone interview and then an on-site interview, and we really just felt like this was a fit. When Beth and I left, we didn’t want to get ahead of ourselves, but we really felt like God was leading us here. Beth: You have to figure we were so young coming into ministry, we’re 22 and 23, it was our first full time ministry and we were in a totally different setting than what we were used to, but God really used it a lot even in our own personal lives to grow us. Brent: We haven’t regretted it at all. Ministry has been tough at times, but that’s a part of every ministry. God has really used this ministry not only for us to minister, but also to grow and shape us as ministers. The graciousness of our church here has allowed us to mature, and has given us an even bigger heart for cross cultural ministry. Wherever God leads us in the future, we’re open to that and we’re sure that God has His plan and that it’s fulfilling.
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Spotlight: Dooeun Lee & Frank Tan Q: What is the first thing you think of when you hear the other person's name? Frank: Oh, she's my girlfriend. Dooeun: Honest sausage. Q: Describe the other person in one word Frank: I don't think I can do that. Dooeun: A gift. Q. What is your favorite attribute about the other? Frank: She's calm when I'm not. Dooeun: He’s an open book ;) Q. How did you meet? Frank: We were in a quartet together when I was a senior in high school. Dooeun: What he said. I was a junior in high school. Q. Do you support high school relationships? Why/why not? What is one of the most difficult things about a relationship? What has God taught you through your relationship? Frank: No. And I'll speak to the guys mostly. It's because we are, quite frankly, immature and prideful and lustful (I know I was). I told myself that I was a good guy, that I had good intentions, and I convinced myself that I could control the urges and desires I had in me. We didn't have sex, and it's by God's grace that he kept us from that sin. But I think we both underestimated how much we could get attached to each other anyway, just from all the time together and the physical contact. It was so painful when I went to college (and later when Dooeun went to a different college). I was very insecure and needy my freshman year. I felt like I couldn't go a day without talking to her, and on days when I said stupid or hurtful things I felt like the world was ending. I was so desperate to please her. And as sophomore year rolled around, jealousy and possessiveness came up too. I wanted to know what she was doing with the guys she was meeting in college. I thought I was trying very hard to be faithful and that she should try harder too. And the worst part was that, in these moments, I forgot Christ. I forgot about his life, death, and resurrection, and everything that that means for my life. Frankly, I just didn't care. Some moments I just could not find any joy in the prospect of being with Jesus for eternity because I could not have Dooeun now. And that scared me a lot. That, I think, is the hardest part of dating at our age. We are far too immature in faith. We don't fully trust in the joy that we can't see, so we go for what we can see. And the honest truth is that that can be dangerous, because it's so easy to make idols of what we can see, and have our hearts hardened. Through it all I think we've both seen God's grace become more evident when set in contrast to our mistakes. For me very personally, I've come to learn from experience how valuable Jesus is. No one else can say, "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." No human being can do that for you. He says he's living bread and living water. He's the only person it's ok for you to be needy with, and the only one who will actually meet those needs. There are days when I'm disappointed with her, and then I hate myself for thinking that kind of thought, or else I hate myself for making a mistake or doing something wrong, and in those moments I desperately need to know that someone has taken all the punishment for my failures already.
It's a mercy that we're still together! Coming to college, I've heard some sad stories from friends in church. Most people have to learn the hard way, by breaking up and being scarred and having God heal them through it. Others choose their girlfriend/boyfriend over the Lord, but later they break up anyway. And I think it's true that God will redeem those who confess their sins. If you're in a relationship now, there are so many things I want to say to you. But I'll leave it at this. I'm not saying you have to break up, but I am saying to be sober about it. Guys especially, please, please do a heart check, see if there's anything wrong in it and confess it to God. He really is kind to people who will admit that they're messy and broken. And besides, one of the most painful things is knowing you've hurt someone and you can't undo it. Guys, the best thing you can do for the girl at this point is to make it your ambition and your pleasure to be happy in Jesus and learn from him and older mentors. If you aren't, then please, please don't get into one yet. For practical reasons, wait at least until you're close to having a job and being able to live on your own (or else how will you take care of another?). And it's for your own sake too, because if you start now, the wait could be long and painful, and I wish I could promise that you'd make it through, but I just don't know. Dooeun: Frank visited this past weekend and when he was leaving I felt a little pinch in my heart. I didn’t realize I had given away a small part of my heart he shouldn’t have until we are married—I thought I was doing a pretty good job of keeping my priorities straight and not being too clingy! Frank mentioned it too; any relationship not bound by marriage should be guarded physically and emotionally. But it’s difficult! We crave the affection (well, at least I do :P). But Jesus is the only one that is your missing piece; he is the only one that is your true soul mate; he is the only one that is waiting for your affections. So if you’re not in a relationship, don’t fret! Seek first the kingdom of God and the rest will be given to you! And I think he meant wife/husband too (hehe). If you are currently in a relationship, you don’t have to break up, but may grace be with you because if you are anything like me and Frank, you’re going to need lots and lots of it. Examine your hearts and answer the following questions. They are from an article I read earlier today: Have you made room for God in the decision-making process? How? Has God’s Word confirmed the decision to pursue one another? When? Are you ready to put character over outwardly appearance? Has your decision been affirmed by mentors and Godly community? Who? Do your life plans fit together without drastic compromise? How? Have you considered the practical aspects of living life together? Explain. Are you the right spiritual maturity for one another? Why? Are you encouraging one another to remain sexually pure?
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Q. What do you guys do together for fun? Frank: We like talking. And eating. And doing both at the same time. Dooeun: Eat, eat, talk, talk, eat, pray, talk. Pray, pray, talk, talk, pray, talk, eat. You get the idea. Q. Who asked who out, and how? (cute story please!) Frank: I asked her out. It was at the end of orchestra. I read a poem out loud and asked her to prom. Unfortunately my poetry composition skills have since left me and now I'm studying to be an engineer. Dooeun: Frank read me a poem after orchestra one day. He didn't actually ask me out in the poem so we had to clarify it after school. It was very awkward. Q. How long have you been dating for? Frank: Gosh, it's been almost 2 years now! Dooeun: It will be two years on pi day! Q. Why do you date? Frank: Because we're looking ahead to marriage. For all the difficulties I just mentioned, she really is a great girl and I enjoy her company. It's just hard to make it work right now because of what stage of life we're in. Dooeun: For marriage. 5+ years of (long-distance) dating is not ideal, but it’s what we have and we want to use it to glorify God (: Q. What is your favorite memory of each other? Frank: I remember a time just a couple of weeks ago when I was, for lack of a better description, pretty angry with a lot of things (myself included). She sat through my rants for half a week, then one day she asked me to listen to a sermon from her pastor at MSU about justification by faith (big word but VERY important) which really helped clear my thinking. Dooeun: This past Christmas, Frank made me, my parents and Hangil each a card. It was cute. (He knows how to impress my parents). Q. What is the best Valentine's Day you've had? Frank: This year I have an exam on Valentine's Day (woo!) but I got a chance to visit her at MSU this past Saturday. Dooeun: We’ve had two so far and this year was better than last year. And next year will be better than this year (: Q. What is one thing that most people don't know about the other person that you can share with all of Oasis? Frank: She likes cheese. Dooeun: He likes mushroom and eggplant and white chocolate. And Korean food (yes!).
Spotlight: Michelle Chen & Edmund Qiao Q: What is the first thing you think of when you hear the other person's name? Michelle: Edmund Edmund: Michelle Q: Describe the other person in one word Michelle: My-best-friend Edmund: Animated and also my best friend. Q: What is your favorite attribute about the other? Michelle: His persistence and silliness Edmund: Her devotion to what she cares about Q: How did you meet? Michelle: We’ve always known each other, but we first became friends when I asked him a question about a Chinese School essay we had to write. Edmund was the only person in our class that was online, so I had to ask him. Edmund: Middle school. No sparks then. Q: Do you support high school relationships? Why/why not? A: This may seem kind of hypocritical since we got together so early in our high school lives…but most of the time, no. A lot of the time in high school, people get into relationships for the wrong reasons. People are selfish, and when we’re this young, we don’t know what is best for us. Teenagers, especially early on in high school, may not know what they’re doing which eventually may cause a lot of collateral damage. Not to say that we have been perfect in that aspect because in the past, we have definitely struggled with keeping God at the center of our relationship. It’s an ongoing battle. Q: What is one of the most difficult things about a high school relationship? A: Communication. You have to tell each other when you’re upset so you can work out your issues and hopefully grow and move on. Letting your feelings be known allows the two of you to be completely honest, and that’s a key in having a healthy and strong relationship.
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Q: What do you guys do together for fun? Michelle: We like to sit down and talk a lot. He’s very fun to talk to. Sometimes we’ll rent a movie off of Amazon and watch that, or we’ll go out to eat fatty foods at 8pm—Chipotle is a favorite. We’ll play guitar together, but he won’t sing. Or watch nostalgic TV shows from when we were in elementary school Q: Who asked who out, and how? A: I (Edmund) asked her out. We liked each other since the winter of ‘09, and she made me cookies and a handmade card for my birthday. I was pretty shy then, and still am, so I didn’t want to do anything until I was fairly sure she liked me. Then one day in April, I decided that I wanted to ask her out, so I walked her home. But I chickened out and we left each other as single people. As the days went on, I was increasingly more confident that she liked me, so in May, after I built up my courage, I decided to tell her I liked her. I was really nervous, but I remember not caring because I just wanted to be with her. When I finally did tell her, I went off on like a mini speech and pretty much said all my feelings which took a little bit of time. I think she said something along the lines of : “yes, okay.” But that was enough for me! And that’s it guys. Q: How long have you been dating for? A: Two-years and nine-months. Q: What is your favorite memory of each other? Michelle: The days that Edmund would walk me home when we were freshman. We got to know each other a lot during those walks, and they were always a lot of fun. Another favorite time was when we dressed up a little and went out to eat in Birmingham. After that we got some Chai Tea Latte from Panera Bread and went to go see a movie. He’s so fun to talk to. Edmund: I don’t have one definitive favorite memory. I have a lot of really fun memories and I can’t single out just one. We go out to eat and talk a lot and I really like those times because we just act silly and do stupid stuff. Q: What is the best Valentine's Day you've had? A: Um. Hopefully a future one because we haven’t done anything in the past. Q: What is one thing that most people don't know about the other person that you can share with all of Oasis? Michelle: Edmund is very ticklish. And he will throw you off of a chair to the ground if he is tickled. He also smells really good. Sometimes he smells like milk. It’s weird. Edmund: Michelle has abs even though she eats a lot and doesn’t exercise. Also, she’s very aggressive and slaps and punches. :’( Q: Any encouragement/thoughts/advice for the rest of us high schoolers? Edmund: I think relationships can be really helpful, but they can also be very harmful as well. If things had gone a little differently in our relationship, I know it would have ended very destructively. I think high schoolers should be wary of getting into a relationship until they are at a good point with God and with themselves. A relationship won’t make you feel better, not in the right way. Only God can do that.
A Life-Changing Habit Valentine’s Day is so special, even I got so much chocolate that I can’t even finish all of it in one sitting. It’s just too amazing; just by popping the candy into my mouth and experiencing the smoothness of it, by feeling it melt to nothingness and having the sweet taste linger on my tongue is as unbelievable as going to China and not getting stung by mosquitoes every five seconds. Too bad most of it is from my house and the rest from my teachers. Forever alone <3. Oh well, these matters only concern me. Anyways, time to begin: To start, what is the concept of life and how does it function? Well, in order to figure this out, it would be nice to think about what you do every day. For example, what do you do when you get up in the morning? Do you wake up at six every day? Do you brush your teeth right after getting out of bed? Do you take a bath before eating breakfast? Do you eat breakfast at home or at school? Do you study in the morning? Do you ride the bus? Do you pop a piece of chocolate into your mouth before walking to school? Life is completely made up of habits: though not as strict as the time regulation in the ACT testing sites, these actions are completed habitually, most of the time done without thinking. Recently, I’ve noticed that I haven’t been reading the Bible as often as I want and began to think: how can I change this? Also, I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one experiencing this impediment so I’ve decided to share this with y’all. Well, recently I’ve been reading a few excerpts from The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg whenever I felt bored and have come to StumbleUpon (I know it’s copyrighted) an interesting story: A woman named Lisa has been smoking, drinking, growing fat, and gathering debt from the age of 16, all the while without working for more than a year. One day, her husband came home from his job and announced that he was leaving her because he had fallen in love with another woman. After a period of shock, Lisa began to stalk her former husband and began to call his new girlfriend during the night, only to hang up a few moments later. After an excruciating amount of time and depression, Lisa couldn’t handle the stress and sought to release it. Therefore, after thoroughly getting drunk, she showed up at the girlfriend’s house screaming and threatening to commit arson. It was after this event that Lisa’s life began to change. Lisa had always wanted to go to Egypt in order to experience the pyramids and now, it was the perfect time to go on a vacation as her credit cards had yet to be fully used. On the first day, disoriented and sleep-deprived, Lisa felt utter helplessness as she failed to accomplish even the most simple of tasks such as lighting a cigarette. At this instance, Lisa knew that all was hopeless and her life couldn’t get any worse. But unlike most people, she chose to struggle on ending everything. Lisa wanted to have a goal in mind in order to forget everything. Being in Egypt, Lisa knew what she had to do: she had to trek over the desert. Giving her a year to prepare, Lisa made countless sacrifices: the hardest of all was to quit smoking. With dedication, Lisa finally arrived at the caravan toned and without a cigarette in hand 11 months later. It is only now that this story is beginning to become interesting. (EDITOR’S NOTE: continued at the top of the next page)
—Arnold Zhou 22
Editors’ Picks Over the next period of her life, Lisa began to change her habits one by one. She began to
(And the rest of Arnold’s article…*** spacing issues please excuse our suck.***)
jog daily, eat less, save money, create a schedule, go back to school, get a job, and get engaged. Lisa even began to run marathons, which is a feat – as known by everyone —that cannot be accomplished through sheer will. But what had caused all of these significant changes? The answer lies in Lisa’s conviction to quit smoking. Intrigued, scientists began to study Lisa and discovered that the neural activities of her old behaviors had been overwritten by the new urges. In other words, the habits that had been changed also affected the brain. Furthermore, by studying other individuals, the scientists were convinced that by changing the “keystone habit” – smoking in Lisa’s case – the brain can be reprogrammed to alter other routines as well. Anyways, it’s pretty amazing isn’t it? Essentially, try to change one of your troublesome habits and see what it can do. Who knows? It
heychristiangirl.tumblr.com
may do something wonderful. ¡Chao!
CAPTION: If you want your girl to love you forever, say these wonderful, post -Valentine pick-ups to her erryday. Jk. But actually.
Valentine Surveys
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Valentine’s Surveys What is your favorite Valentine’s Day memory?
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Eating heartshaped jello!
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Eh
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Getting candy
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Got a Valentine
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Eating out?
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Watching Iron Man
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Making the Valentine’s boxes that everyone put your Valentines into
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Jeremy Lin vs. Toronto Raptors
TOP VALENTINE’S SONG SUGGESTIONS FOR GOD/FROM GOD TO YOU: ♥
Times— Tenth Avenue North
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Your Love— Brandon Heath
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One Thing Remains— Jesus Culture
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Second Chance— Rend Collective Experiment
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Love Song For a Savior—Jars of Clay
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Beloved— Tenth Avenue North
Love your editors,
February Announcements
Give me articles!!!
Feb. 2— Sharon’s daddy’s birthday AND Brent’s birthday!!!
Bashful | melody.c.zhang@gmail.com
Feb. 11— Melody’s birthday. You missed it?! It’s okay still tell her happy belated.
Sneezy | kelly_yu_2013@yahoo.com
Feb. 18— SKIING WITH OASIS at Mt. Holly
Happy| xdancer.shen@gmail.com
Feb. 19— no school!!! Aka write for the Vine Mar. 1— CHURCHSTOCK AT KUMC!!! Don’t miss it!
Happy Valentine’s Day!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥