{FROM THE EDITORS} MOMENTS
I am so guilty of falling prey to our ever changing, always moving lives; I try to finish everything on time (Type A personality right here) and I sometimes can’t slow down to just take things in and breathe. I don’t always have time to sit down and pray, or do my devotionals, or read the Bible. Instead, I’m caught up in school, in social circles, in family, in everything but the one thing I should be focused on. Good things become bad things when they replace Jesus. Martha was distracted, but it wasn’t a bad thing until she was distracted from Jesus. Which brings me to my point: does my life have any room to sit at the feet of Jesus? Is my schedule so tight that I can’t afford to talk to my heavenly Father? Before the crucifixion, Christ prayed to God. And if Christ, blameless and righteous and holy, had to pray to God, how much more should I, a sinner, pray? We have to be both Mary and Martha; we have to both love Jesus and love to serve Him. In doing so, I have to make daily appointments with God. The series was called Moments; and the pastor left us with a final thought: We have to fight for our moments with Christ.
Recently, I attended a sermon at Lighthouse Collective concerning Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42). The pastor gave us some background information — Martha had to be very hospitable to be able to have Jesus and his twelve disciples over for dinner. She had to be able to provide enough food for them, and on top of that, she had to make sure everything was perfect, because it was Jesus she was serving. Anyway, in the passage, Martha was distracted — which is not necessarily bad — from what Jesus was teaching while Mary patiently sat at His feet. It was very clear that Mary intensely loved Jesus, while Martha intensely loved to serve Jesus. And Jesus slightly rebuked Martha for what she was doing by telling her only one thing was necessary, and that one thing was Him. So often, our busy culture forces us to be like Martha — all of our jam-packed schedules and constantly changing, constantly moving lives; after all, the world stops for no one. Things become crazier, and sometimes we get so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things happening in a short span of time. We are being pressured into finding our identity in Martha, who constantly bustles around, trying to get things ready and perfect for Jesus. She doesn’t listen to what He says; she is so caught up in what she does that there is simply not enough time.
— Michelle Shen 2
{FROM THE EDITORS} FOOD WITH THOUGHT
Just as we need our physical "daily bread",
accessible everywhere now from Bible apps or
so we also need spiritual daily bread to sustain
pocket versions, it's possible to do this even
our spiritual growth in Christ. It seems often that during lunch — this could also serve as a test of one of the greatest struggles of Christian life is to
faith since it is difficult for many to live their
find motivation or time for daily devotion. I think faith in their daily lives. that one possible rea-
Since prayer be-
son for this could be
fore meals is already a
that we have not es-
very common act, what if
tablished a stable or
we also read a few pas-
committed
sages
tum
momen-
with
Scripture
reading and
before,
giving
thanks and reading devo-
with
tion all at once? In this
prayer; once we put in
way, if could become part
the effort to create a
of our routine and possi-
schedule for a few
bly (hopefully) be inte-
weeks, it becomes a habit and a necessary part of grated into our Christian lifestyles if it has not everyday life.
been already! Just some food for thought or
Because we usually do not forget to have something new to try out. Though it is a bold our designated physical meals at least 2 times a step for some, it is definitely worth it. day, I had an idea to combine both the spiritual and physical meal together, thus making it "food
— Melody Zhang
WITH thought." Since our Bibles are made easily
3
TRANSFORMATION In the beginning of the year at our lead-
Earning respect, not demanding it. Being careful
ers’ retreat, we were asked to reflect on what we
of others’ feelings, and making sure my sarcasm
wanted to change. This is what I wrote (I apolo-
isn’t taken as hatred.
gize for the terrible grammar, it was stream of consciousness):
Pointing back to You in all that I do, wherever I am.
Selflessness in my service. Seeing what other people need and doing what I can to help.
Spending more time in Your word. Spending more time on my knees in prayer. Humbling
Love. Loving my family, respecting my par-
myself before the Most High God, and remind-
ents, respecting my brother, not looking down
ing myself of who this God I serve really is.
on him because of his age. Wisdom. Learning all that I can in order to help Joy. Finding joy in everything, regardless of
others grow in their faith as well. Learning so
how good or bad it is. Being able to stay joyful
that my faith remains strong, despite what will
even when I am stressed or angry.
tempt or distract me in college and in the future.
Compassion.
Forgiving
others,
especially
when they do things that I don’t necessarily
Freedom. No more fear. Wanting what You
agree with.
want, delighting in You so much that everything else fades away. Being free in worship – free in
Love, again. Pouring love on my friends who
my faith – unashamed of what I believe in.
desperately need You. Showing them through this love that there are better things to look
Patience. Knowing that my expectations are set
forward to, but not condemning them for
unrealistically high, and knowing that no one is
things I don’t agree with. Actively loving my
perfect. And then being able to wait, knowing
friends. Going out of my way to doing some-
that You will change them and work on their
thing nice for them. Respecting my teachers,
hearts in Your time, not mine. Realizing that not
even if they are not that good at teaching.
everyone is on the same spiritual level, not eve4
ryone has experienced the same things, that
of room for improvement. Most of the things I
that I need to adapt to help them grow and to
wrote down in the beginning of the year are
grow in my own faith.
things I’m still struggling a lot with now (some even more so). But fortunately, God doesn’t
Humility. I am not better than anyone else. I
give up on me, and so I’ll still keep working on
still have so much to learn. Just because I am a
these things, and most likely failing, and
leader does not mean I
hopefully one day succeed-
know more or am better
ing. And even if I don’t, I
equipped.
know that I will still reap eternal rewards in heaven
Finding
you
in
every-
one day; I have confidence in
thing, because You are in
something far greater than
all things.
this world, so I can continue to work towards becoming
I really like looking
more like Christ.
back on these things because it’s encouraging to see what
P.S. Journaling is cool!
God has done. It’s interesting
Even if it’s just once in a
how God can change so
while, it’s always fun to see
much in just one year and
what you were thinking be-
that there’s so much more that He continues to
fore and how you’ve changed. Everyone
do in my life and the lives of everyone around
should try it :D
me. Going back to this also reminds me that
— Esther Yan
there’s so much I’m still learning, and there’s a lot
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REFLECTIONS Hi Oasis, I don’t know if you remember me or not, but my name is Brian and I graduated from Troy High School. I now serve at one of the biggest mega-churches in the world in Sydney, Australia. To be honest, I miss our small tight-knit community of believers and friends. I miss the times we would worship together, the memorable moments made as a result of retreats, and the awesome outreaches which caused more students and friends to come to church. You guys have truly been a blessing and I owe you guys everything. The first day I got here, it felt very surreal; I was disoriented from all the different things. I felt dizzy coming out of the airport because not too long ago, I was heading to Michigan State University for business. After I was picked up by a Hillsong Church shuttle, this question popped into my mind: “How in the world did I get here?” As we got closer and closer to campus, I kept thinking: I am 10,000 miles away from the place I call home, I am on my own, I don’t know how to manage my finances, I’m not really good at cooking, I don’t have my second piece of luggage with me (because China Airlines is an idiot), I don’t know my theology, I don’t know who I am, I don’t recognize anything, I don’t know what to expect… I kept thinking to myself, “I am only 19 and yet I am so far away from my home; what am I to do, God?” But then I heard God say, “I am here.” I was reminded that I needed to walk by faith, not by sight. A few weeks later, I went to school for
the first time. I was pumped; I thought I had everything down and I was ready for ministry. But God hit me hard with the classes and the serving I needed to do. For ministry, a typical Sunday starts at 5:00am, when I wake up, until 4:00pm; after that, I attend the night service which runs for 3 or 4 hours. It was 60 to 70 hours a week at church doing many things; it was way more than I imagined. When it came to conferences and major services, it could be a 16 hour workday depending on how long the conferences lasted. It was mentally, physically and spiritually draining. It’s been a crazy time since I’ve been here; I’ve witnessed many salvations and many theological debates with people from all over the world. I didn’t realize how much pastors sacrifice to bring God’s word to the ministry, not just on a Sunday, but also during day-to-day interactions with people. It’s a 24/7 job and a rather exhausting one, as they work tirelessly to serve the church. So whenever you get a chance, say thanks to Pastor Brent and be thankful that you have such a comfortable community to be in! I understand that this has gone all over the place, but I want to let you guys know that the greatest challenge I’ve faced so far is myself. How do I let God conquer me so that I can let Him work in my life? How can I let God’s divinity work through my actions to bring grace, peace, hope, love, forgiveness, and joy to the people around me? How may I see His glory, His will, His everlasting faithfulness, and His sacrificial love? How can I let Him take everything that I have so that I can understand the love and forgiveness we are called to bring unto this world? In order to conquer myself, I need to be6
lieve in the gospel. I need to believe that Jesus died on that cross in order for me to be able to have the authority and audacity to speak boldly in my faith. I figured out soon enough I came here for a specific purpose and for a specific reason. God brought me here because He knew I would be out of my comfort zone; God put me here so I may grow in spirit and in faith. I was put out of my comfort zone because it is where I would grow the most. When you are in your comfort zone you won’t mature; when you are in your comfort zone, it is possible that you will miss out on what plans God has for you. Don’t ever take anything for granted and realize later that it’s too late to change things; instead, know where you are and who you are in Christ. Know that you are planted in every situation for a reason. I am typing this in hope that you will see what I am seeing, that you will be able to close your eyes and understand what God has placed right in front of you. I am typing this in hope that in everything you do, it will be for God our Father. I am typing this in hope that you may live a life worthy of your calling. If you say you are waiting for God’s calling upon your life, you’re wasting your time; sometimes where your passion lays is what God is calling you to do. So don’t just sit
there aimlessly, saying that you are waiting for God’s calling on your life, because it might just be the very thing you are good at is what will glorify God. Don’t compare your gifts with the gifts of the people around you; while you’re comparing, complaining, and grumbling about what other people have that you don’t have, you miss out on what you have that others don’t have. I believe in you guys! These are just some practical ways I’ve learned so far; in the end I am still the same as you and I go through the same stages of life. So while I am preaching this to you, I am also preaching this to myself. Father, I thank you for placing us in such a time as this. I pray that my brothers and sisters back home may be encouraged and that they may take something out of this letter of encouragement. I pray for any worries or self -doubts they have, that in Jesus’ name it will be gone. Let them know that you are their Father and you love them so much as to sacrifice your one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins. Let us forgive those who are around us, and remind us of your forgiveness through your Word. Let us have wisdom so that we may live a life that might reflect the glory of Your name. I thank you for this opportunity, and I thank you again for everything you have taught us. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.
— Brian Wu Warm Regards,
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WE REJOICE IN
OUR SUFFERINGS So many times I fail to remember myself.
worries due to the copious overflow of my dis-
Not because I cannot recall my identity, but
tresses.
rather, I do not know my who I am.
I didn’t know how to relieve myself any-
I used to think that life was so easy and
more. The only things that still progressed were
laid back when I was younger. And frankly, it was.
my anxieties and concerns. They kept coming
But as I grew older, I began to realize what dan-
one after the other, stacking up like lead weights
gerous truths and tempting lies the world is so
upon my fragile shoulders and crushing me as I
full of. And when I started experiencing the evils
struggled to even stand on my two feet. It was
of this world, I knew that life from then on would
hard to stay sane physically, mentally, and most
be difficult. How difficult? I was not very sure.
of all, emotionally.
I remember in middle school, I used to
Soon after, I began to lose my grasp on
keep track of the things that worried or stressed
the real world. I didn’t know what was right and
me out. Literally, I would sometimes count using
what was wrong anymore. I questioned every
my fingers and classify all the “bad things” in my
person in my life and their honesty to me. I did
life while trying to figure out how to solve each
not know who or what to believe anymore. And
and every one of them. And once I discovered a
as time slowly crawled by, my new mindset
solution to one of them, I would “cross out” that
opened my eyes to the lies surrounding me. Re-
stress item off my list of other worries and
ality hit me as I learned that some people actu-
stresses.
ally do not care about you. Their purpose in be-
But as the years went by, my list grew
ing your friend was not the genuine response
longer and longer and I was unable to “fix” the
you were looking for and believed to be the en-
majority of my problems. It soon grew to a point
tire time you were friends.
where I no longer had the ability to “organize” my
Why do people change so quickly?
8
What is it that averts our attention and
Once half-way through, you may feel the urge to
clings onto us, whispering words of betrayal
give everything up due to an obstacle that you
and heartless rejection so quickly and swiftly
feel like you cannot triumph over. At that time,
that we do not even realize the change?
think of the past successes and achievements you
If and when do realize the change, why
have accomplished. Continue on strong. It is not
do we still let it alter who we are?
worth giving up all that you have done so won-
Why are we so lazy and accepting of
derfully and diligently for a trifling matter that
these corruptions in our world, our society, and
frustrates your heart.
our lives?
And throughout your struggle, regard your
Perhaps it is because we have tried
adversities as blessing and be thankful for your
countless times to “fix” the things that caused
trials and sufferings.
problems in our lives, and changing ourselves is just another thing that we lack the strength or
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sis-
ability to “fix”.
ters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, be-
Perhaps it is because we have been hurt
cause you know that the testing of your faith pro-
too many times trying to figure out why we are
duces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its
where we stand. And that our morals and be-
work so that you may be mature and complete,
liefs do not seem to assist us in our attempt to
not lacking anything.”
discover who we are.
—James 1:2-4
Regardless, life is a complex puzzle that one cannot simply solve by just looking at the
Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Bless
pieces it is comprised of. It takes time and pa-
those who curse you. Love those who hate you.
tience to put together each and every piece, each and every hardship and misgiving, to “fix”
— Anonymous
the overall masterpiece. And it will not be easy.
9
SPIRITUAL HIGHS Spiritual highs. The euphoria that lingers
you’re afraid of being hurt by foul play.
after a compelling, convicting retreat or confer-
The cost of following Jesus is great, but
ence or even a really powerful worship session –
we reap so much.
the feeling of the Holy Spirit rushing through you and the newfound spiritual rejuvenation.
“The one who sows to please his sinful na-
It feels great – it really does, but what hap-
ture, from that nature will reap destruction; the
pens afterward? What happens when you come
one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit
off of the hype? What happens when you fade
will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in
back into the monotonous, everyday routine?
doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a
During a sermon, Mr. Lee once mentioned
harvest if we do not give up.”
spiritual highs. He considered the phrase “cheap,”
–Galatians 6:8-9
and at first I was confused on how this could be. Moments in which we, as believers, felt a burning
Although spiritual highs can lead you
passion for Christ – that couldn’t be cheap, could
back in the right direction, don’t always rely
it?
upon them to do so. Please don’t wait for But he went on to tell us that a spiritual
months for a particular retreat or conference to
high basically showcased how we were touched
bring you back to God; hold yourself account-
by God, but did not change. God reached out to
able.
us, and we did not turn completely back toward
Don’t let God touch your heart without
His direction.
letting him change you.
I think it’s amazing how my heart never fails to surprise me; my stubborn unwillingness to
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern
deny myself, to take up my cross, and to follow
of this world, but be transformed by the renewing
Jesus. It’s like being on a sports team but not
of your mind.”
wanting to participate in the game because
–Romans 12:2
— Anonymous 10
HOPE FROM ECCLESIASTES 3:11 Amidst the times I can't feel a thing Above the reasons why I'm worrying Despite the times I'm insecure, In the end I can be sure That these are just mountains I will climb And He will make everything beautiful in its time.
— Jenny Boudon 11
杜青轩的四月文章 (Du Theodore’s April Article)
我爱我的家 (I love my family)
爸爸妈妈我的狗 (Dad mom my dog)
我也爱妹妹! (I also love little sister)
妹妹 狗
— Teddy Du 12
[SPOTLIGHT] Why did you want to be baptized? I felt like I was drifting away from God – so I needed to take the next step, declaring to the public that I wanted to follow God. I wanted to renew my relationship with Him.
Who are you in Christ today? My journey is pretty straightforward; I grew up in a Christian family, learning about God when I was young. I went to many Bible / Christian camps and continued to learn about God. When I was in middle school, the opportunity to go to retreats opened up, and those all taught me more about God than ever before. Throughout middle school and now high school, I continued to go to church and various retreats to strengthen my relationship with God. The one thing I was always hesitant to do was to get baptized. I always postponed it with excuses that weren’t always true. Recently, I learned more about baptism and its importance and felt that I needed to take this opportunity, to become a disciple of the almighty God.
How did Oasis impact your decision? Oasis has helped me a lot this year. I’d have to say Oasis is a lot more in depth than Refresh; at Oasis we get more serious during worship and small group discussions, and through this I was able to focus on God. Oasis impacted my decision through the sermons, which taught me more
— Michael Li
and more about God. It helped me understand more about the Bible and God, and ended up helping me make the final decision to get baptized.
13
Why did you want to be baptized? I wanted to be baptized because I realized I needed to make that act of faith before I could pursue any deeper relationship with God. The Bible shows that baptism is the first step of obedience to Christ. If I can’t even follow Jesus in this first step, how can I expect to obey his further teachings? How can I expect to surrender my all to Christ, to conquer the struggles and temptations that even Jesus himself had to overcome? I always thought I would wait until I was older to get baptized. Since I wasn’t born in a Christian family, I would think, “There are lots of people who have been Christian their whole lives who aren’t baptized. What gives me, the girl who accepted Christ not long ago, the right to think I’m ready?” However, I’ve realized that I don’t need to reach a certain “milestone” in my walk with God before I’m ready for baptism. I don’t have to pass a certain time frame or complete a memorization of a certain part of the Bible. I have my faith and that is enough.
Who are you in Christ today? For most of my life, God has been a stranger to me. My dad is an atheist and my mom used to be Christian, but she has lost her faith since then. When I was little, my mom used to take my sister and me to church every Saturday night. It was simply a couple hours of listening to words I didn’t understand, fake-singing lyrics that meant nothing to me, and bowing my head only because everyone around me was doing the same. Eventually, by the time I reached the end of elementary school, we stopped going. For the next couple of years, I went to church sporadically, and eventually I developed a fear of church. Everything about it scared me: all the people I didn’t know, the biblical stories I didn’t understand, and the God I didn’t really believe in. At the beginning of freshman year, I went to Oasis a couple times, but the foreignness of church made me so uncomfortable that I started making excuses to people who were encouraging me to go. Eventually, I got over my initial fears and started attending Oasis more regularly during sophomore year. The most difficult period of my life so far started at the second half of sophomore year. During this time, darkness slowly built up within me. I started lying to my parents, to a point that it felt normal trying to deceive them. I focused all my attention on a relationship that made me throw away my values and priorities. I put my hope in earthly matters, in competitions and tests that I could never find satisfaction in. My self-esteem was at an all-time low. I thought I was ugly, worthless, and alone. It got to a point that I was crying for hours in bed every night, wishing to die in my sleep, only to wake up the next morning disappointed and exhausted. One night, after months of praying and begging God to end what felt like endless torture, I came across this passage in 2 Corinthians: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I 14
[SPOTLIGHT] delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (12:9-10). Suddenly, it all became clear to me. I had become so consumed with my own battles that I completely disregarded God's role in my life. Even though it seemed hopeless at the time, my pain would only strengthen me for the future. I began to truly seek Christ, to build the relationship that I had always been so afraid of. Last summer, I started going to Woodside Bible Church on Sundays for Lighthouse Collective, a service for college students that some Oasis kids had started attending. I can’t remember exactly when, but it was there that I accepted Christ. I felt His presence for the first time and all my anxieties, all my worries — everything was gone. It was just me and my Father, finally reunited. Even though I have made huge mistakes in the past and I continue to struggle with obeying God every day, I know that through the cross, I have the power to overcome any obstacle in my path. I have learned to thank God for the good and the bad, for everything He has given me and everything he has taken away from me.
How did Oasis impact your decision? When I was considering getting baptized, I told a leader at Oasis that I didn’t think I was ready. One of the things she said struck me: “I don’t think anyone is ever ready for baptism.” She doesn’t know this, but her simple sentence eventually helped me realize I needed to stop letting selfdoubt get in the way of God. I needed to let go and trust His plan for me. Like everything else in life, Oasis does have its weaknesses, but the fact that there’s a place for me to worship God and fellowship with others is a blessing in itself. Oasis impacted my decision basically through the community it has created for me. After my initial discomfort, I now feel a sense of home in Oasis. I’ve learned that I have a family of brothers and sisters in Christ who are always there for me. It is the only church I know and it has helped me grow incredibly in my faith.
— Lily Lu
Why did you want to be baptized?
I wanted to get baptized for a long time. Maybe since middle school, but I always wanted to wait until I was older or when things mattered more to me. Whenever I went to retreats and conferences or even church, I always really enjoyed the messages and I was always moved by the concept of God's family being perfect. Since I’m still young, I knew it wouldn't be ideal for me to leave home and go out and do things in the name of God, so I knew since being baptized was a basic first step of obedience to God — I wanted to declare my faith to my congregation. CONTINUED >>> 15
<<< CONTINUED
Who are you in Christ today? My journey started when I was adopted by my parents, who were Christian. Originally, I wasn't allowed to be adopted because some stuff was coming out of my belly button, so I was labeled a "broken child." As my mom started volunteering at the orphanage, she asked them what was wrong with me, and she got the answer. I guess she convinced my dad to think about paying for my surgery and my adoption. It didn't go quite as smooth and quickly as they wanted, but it was after that I was raised in a Christian family. Nothing really impacted me as much as when I realized that God's family is the most perfect family ever. I know my situation is unique, but honestly some other people have it worse. I'm extremely thankful that I was raised in a very healthy family, because there are families out there with abusive parents, parents who are divorced, or other kinds of family problems. I learned that the family of God is the best family anyone would ever have. Of course there are problems like gossiping, judgment, or arguments, but it's God's family! We are a family because of our common love for Jesus! I’m learning that by the way we act, it has an impact on the views of others of the family of God. Ephesians 2: 18-19 says, “For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household.” As a family, we need to show joy, love and happiness — everything that people desire to see in their own lives.
How did Oasis impact your decision? Oasis gave me the "kick" I needed to get baptized. I moved to Michigan a year ago, and I didn't think I would be comfortable or moved enough by anything to be baptized. It turned out my life here was completely fine! Church was a place where I could look forward to going; I could be with others like me (that is, Asian). Being at basically an all-white school (SEAHOLM MAPLE LEAVES!!), I always felt a
— Hannah Wong
little weird. Oasis gave me the comfort I needed and led me to take the step I needed to grow in my faith.
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[SPOTLIGHT] Why did you want to be baptized? I felt like God was pushing me to take more risks and go out of my comfort zone; He was asking me to declare my faith publicly. I asked myself, “If not now, when?” I can’t keep postponing an important step in my walk with God — I can’t keep waiting for a “perfect” moment, because technically there will never be the opportune time to take up my cross and follow Jesus. So I decided to take a risk.
Who are you in Christ today? I grew up in a very Christian family; I stood in the shadow of my family, who basically paved the way for me. My father was the pastor of the church, my mother was always involved, my brother and sister were actively serving the youth ministry. Throughout elementary school, I thought that I could earn eternal life through good deeds. In middle school, I postponed my baptism because I either was “too ordinary,” or I was “not ready.” I made excuses for myself; I started to become selfsufficient and I thought I could save myself through what I did. Eventually, I understood the enormity of the salvation I had been so freely given — and I decided to follow Christ.
How did Oasis impact your decision? Going into Oasis, I was surrounded by people who actively pursued God, and believed that He was the only thing that mattered — and that made all the difference. I held fellowship with people who burned with a passion for God, and I wanted to have that fire also. Everyone was supportive and they cared about what happened. I listened to one sermon where Mr. Lee reminded us that eternal life starts when we accept Christ. And I finally realized that baptism is the only first part of obeying Christ, and I
— Michelle Shen should not hesitate in such a crucial part of my faith.
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Why did you want to be baptized? I want to be baptized knowing that this is the very first step of my obedience to following Christ because Jesus commanded us to be baptized. By God’s grace, after years of preparation, and reading scripture and praying, I finally understand the Gospel, and what Jesus stands for to all of us. Thank you to all of my friends, my brother, my dad and my mom, for putting up with me for the past few years and thank you for driving me to this point in my life, for I could not have done it without you. Ultimately thanks and praise be to Him, that through all my trials and mistakes, I triumph over evil and death.
Who are you in Christ today? I lived in Taiwan for five years, from 1st grade through 5th grade. I remember my life revolved around school. When I got home, I didn’t have anything to do and I would just sit in my room day dreaming. I wasn’t really too into life at that point. All I could remember was that I didn’t really do any homework, and I wasn’t as bright as most of the kids that were in school. It was a pretty solemn period of time. Depression overtook me, and I couldn’t shake free from its grasp. I carved on tables with a knife; I found ways to hurt myself to make myself forget about the emotional pain. My parents didn’t know what to do with me for a long time; my grades in Taiwan were horrific and they felt hopeless because their own son couldn’t get a grip on himself emotionally either. I left home one time and they had to come find me. I yelled back almost everyday. I was ungrateful and everything just seemed like it was going down the drain. Life was being washed away from me. I remember it got to a point where I considered suicide. The news in Taiwan was always about a lot of people jumping off buildings to end their lives, so I thought to myself, why not? If life seemed this pointless, why not just end my life? I remember standing on the edge of the top floor of my apartment building looking down. At first, I didn’t really care, I wasn’t scared to die, but fear suddenly gripped me and I backed away from the edge. I thought to myself maybe, just maybe, it’s not time yet. After a couple weeks, my parents told us that we were moving to America. Coming here, I didn’t really feel anything either, but something clicked and my grades were the best I have ever had. In the beginning I was stuck with the wrong friend group, but for some reason I just never gave into peer pressure. Praise God that I didn’t get myself into drugs, smoking or drinking, because the story I’m telling you right now would’ve been quite different. During 7th grade, I liked this girl I knew on Facebook. Through the next couple months I realized that every Friday, she would always say, “Sorry, I have to go to Bible study now at David Lee’s house.” I finally mustered up some courage and asked her if I could tag along to one of these “Bible studies,” even though I didn’t know anything about it. Once I got there, I realized that it was actually fun going. To be honest, at first I went because there was always food at the end and they would always play games and stuff. They invited me to church on Saturday nights too, so I started going to Livingstones. It was a great little community of believers and they had food too! Friday free food, and Saturday free food. I was living the dream! Of course, I started actually believing God the summer before my freshman year when I went to a conference called Uprising. I experienced the Holy Spirit, and in the end I started crying out 18
[SPOTLIGHT] with my heart and before this point I had never experienced this. From then on, I continued this journey, through many harsh conditions, trials, and the many mistakes that I had made. Fast forward to 2013, and I can say it has been the craziest it has ever been since that time I wanted to commit suicide. I am completely blown away, shocked, surprised, and ultimately humbled by the calling God has brought onto my plate. I applied to MSU, got in, finished all the paperwork and student loans – everything I needed to do was done, and all I had to do was go to my orientation. That was it; that was my future. I would go on to graduate with a bachelor’s degree, get a job, pay off my debt, have a family, have kids, continue to go to church, tithe, and stay in a comfortable and secure place. That was it, the normal life. But to me, it seemed too easy. It seemed too comfortable, and it seemed that ultimately I could put myself in God’s position and plan my life out to be able to see everything ahead of me. To me, that was a little strange; after reading about Abraham and how he walked by faith and not by sight, I wanted to follow God the same way. Some people say it’s a blessing from God to be able to live life comfortably, but I felt as if that wasn’t what I was called to do. So I threw away everything I had for MSU because I didn’t feel at peace. The question I had was, “If Jesus said follow Him, deny ourselves, and take up our cross, why I am still here doing nothing? Why do I think that going to church is enough to secure a place in heaven for myself?” Here’s a short passage that contains the explanation to my conviction and my question, from a book written by David Platt called Follow Me. Four fishermen stood by a sea in the first century when Jesus approached them. “Follow me,” he said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” With that, Jesus beckoned these men to leave behind their professions, possessions, dreams, ambitions, family, friends, safety, and security. He bid them to abandon everything. “If anyone is going to follow me, he must deny himself,” Jesus would say repeatedly. In a world where everything revolves around self—protect yourself, promote yourself, preserve yourself, entertain yourself, comfort yourself, take care of yourself—Jesus said, “Slay yourself.” And that’s exactly what happened. According to Scripture and tradition, these four fishermen paid a steep price to following Jesus. Peter was crucified upside down, Andrew was crucified in Greece, James was beheaded, and John was exiled. Thus, after a searching for a long time, I found Hillsong College. I finally felt at peace, even though I was a little scared because I didn’t know how I was to pay for any of this. I applied. Keep in mind this was one of the scariest things I had to do, because I risked not being able to go to any other colleges. A month later, I found out that I made it into the college. The peace that came with it confirmed the calling into ministry and the fire inside of me ignited.
— Brian Wu 19
Love your Editors,
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