Parenting by MOMAHA.COM
The World-Herald’s Cutest Baby Kora Bingham, 8 months. Browse the gallery of entrants, Pages 5-9
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Advice, tips for every stage of parenthood Special section • May 14, 2017
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THE BEST PLACE FOR KIDS Appointments are Available Today! Call 800.336.0304 • Same-day sick visits • Online scheduling, immunization records and growth charts via Children’s Connect, our unique online health portal • Extended hours for well-checks • Exclusive backing by the specialists at Children’s Hospital & Medical Center
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Content sponsored by Children’s Physicians
choosing the right pediatrician for your child
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By Children’s PhysiCians As a parent, you want the best health care available for your child. However, choosing the right health care provider can be a difficult task. As a new parent, you may be struggling over how to choose the right pediatrician, or even if you should use a pediatrician as opposed to a general practitioner. Following are considerations for your child’s care.
PEDiAtRiciAnS ARE nOt yOuR AvERAgE PHySiciAn According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, pediatricians spend anywhere from three to six years in pediatric residency training after medical school. Other doctors can spend as few as three months in pediatric training. This means pediatricians receive up to 24 times more training in the specialized care of children than other doctors.
Because they care only for children, pediatricians are able to focus on the latest research and changes in pediatric medicine. They have the skills to treat a wide range of ailments, from basic childhood illnesses to more serious diseases, and they are experienced not only in the physical, but also in the emotional and social development of children. A pediatric office and staff will tend to be geared more toward children, understanding that children are not simply small adults.
Consider a provider who follows the medical home model where care is focused on all aspects of the child’s well-being, not just on medical needs. For example, a medical home provider may offer lactation consultants and/or behavioral health services in the office or oversee referrals to other medical providers, act as a liaison with school or child care providers and offer patient care coordinators who can assist with community resources, education or other needs.
StARting yOuR SEARcH
gAtHER REfERRALS
Plan to begin looking for a pediatrician during pregnancy and make a decision during the seventh or eighth month. This allows you to make an informed decision versus one made in the haste and excitement following the birth. This will also allow the pediatrician to examine your child within the first 24 hours after birth while you and your baby are still in the hospital.
Ask your own doctors, family members, co-workers and friends for recommendations; and check with your health insurance provider to see which pediatricians are covered under your plan. Verify that the doctor is board certified, and ask if he or she has an independent practice or belongs to a network of physicians, which hospitals or other medical facilities the doctor
is associated with and where the doctor’s office is located. You should also check with your state medical board to see if any pediatricians that you are considering have been disciplined for wrongdoing.
MEEt yOuR tOP cHOicES Finally, schedule a “get to know you” meeting with any prospective pediatrician. Some pediatricians do not charge for this initial visit. Prior to the visit, compile a checklist of questions to ask the doctor. Interview as many pediatricians as necessary until you find one that is trustworthy, compassionate and shares similar views and philosophies on caring for your child. By following these guidelines, you will help ensure that your child receives the best health care available. For more information on how to choose the right pediatrician, call the Children’s Physicians referral line at 800-336-0304.
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‘Summer of just hanging out is a waste of fun, talent’ By John Baylor MoMaHa.coM BloGGer
Summers can be a notoriously wasted three months for a student. I know that mine often were. Here are five strategies to help maximize your student’s time away from the classroom. 1. Champions are made during the off-season. Colleges primarily care about the Big Three: grades, scores and one extra-curricular. Summers are when good cellists become great, when good actors refine their skills. My tennis-playing daughter intends to master her volley before the fall. Encourage your teen to set specific, reasonable goals and then to implement intentional, regular practice to accomplish them. Your child may discover more joy and college interest from that extra-curricular activity. 2. Earn enough money now to avoid having to work during the school year. Many teens work a part-time schedule during the summer and school year. Have them work full time now and over school breaks, and perhaps only one weekend day per week during the school year. Grades, scores and one extra-curricular should pay more than flipping burgers. Have your teen work more now and less this fall, when time really
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counts. 3. Volunteer. Scholarship committees and selective colleges love leadership and selflessness – and volunteering can exhibit both.
Encourage your teen to commit to a cause – volunteering at least twice a week this summer and then once a week during school. More importantly, volunteering
fuels self-regard and the soul. If all teens invested in a volunteer activity they cared about, we’d have stronger, happier children. 4. Read at least three real books.
Reading now should increase self-awareness, an inquisitive nature, that ACT score and GPA. Encourage your teen to choose books that interest him or her. A trip together to the library or bookstore in search of one is a great way to jump-start summer. 5. Set aside fun time with family. I have a junior-to-be, which means she’ll be leaving the nest in about two years. I treasure long walks together, trips to the ice cream store, games of tennis and watching movies – for my own sake but also to help ensure her summer doesn’t become too purposeful. During these times, I just try to listen, asking questions as needed. “Tiger” parents – meaning strict or demanding – might also push teens to prepare for the ACT or SAT, work with tutors to attack academic weaknesses, keep a journal and self-publish a book – all worthy goals. But the above are basic strategies that should strengthen and rejuvenate any teen. And isn’t that the goal for this great time of year? John Baylor is a father, husband, author, Stanford grad, broadcaster and owner of John Baylor Prep. The mission of JBP is to help families and schools create two and four-year college graduates with minimal debt. You can listen to the John Baylor Prep Show on KHUB (1340 AM) in Fremont, KNCY (1600 AM) in Nebraska City, and KLIN (1400 AM) in Lincoln.
POStPARtuM DEPRESSiOn
When it’s more than ‘baby blues,’ talking helps By Jenni DeWitt World-Herald correspondent
Having a baby is supposed to be the best time of your life, but for women who suffer from postpartum depression often it just … isn’t. Mothers with postpartum depression might feel sad, empty and hopeless much of the day. They can lose interest in normal activities and have feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt or anxiety, have trouble concentrating or making decisions and, in more severe cases, have suicidal thoughts or thoughts of hurting the baby. “The true cause of postpartum depression is unknown. It seems to be related to a combination of genetic factors and fluctuations in several hormones and brain neurochemicals,” said Dr. Tami Dodds, a family medicine practitioner at Boone County Health Center in Albion, Nebraska. “I think the majority of moms can relate to the ‘baby blues,’ which we commonly see a few days after delivery. It is a very emotional time for most women. Sleep deprivation and breastfeeding challenges often contribute.’’ For most, symptoms resolve by two weeks, but for roughly one in 10 women,
these feelings can persist and deepen, leading to a diagnosis of postpartum depression. In women with a history of depression, the risk of postpartum depression more than doubles. Additional risk factors include marital conflict, poor social and financial support, delivery before age 25, single marital status and a family history of postpartum depression or psychiatric illness. Even the season can increase the risk, with more mothers experiencing postpartum depression during the times of year when there is less daylight. While postpartum depression is not rare, talking about it can be. “The stigma behind mental health is the biggest hurdle in getting moms the help they need for postpartum depression,” said Dr. Brian Karre, an OB-GYN physician at Methodist Physicians Clinic in Omaha. Moms often feel ashamed to admit it’s not their happiest time. They have a beautiful new baby – some even struggled with infertility – and now they are deeply sad. The guilt can be overwhelming. Moms often don’t understand it’s not their fault or anything they can control. Postpartum depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Like other physical illnesses, it
can be treated. In order to identify and help patients who suffer from postpartum depression, doctors are spending more time checking on how new moms are doing emotionally. “I have certain questions I ask my patients in hopes of opening discussion,” said Karre. Doctors also use the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS), a simple questionnaire to screen for postpartum depression. This can help identify a patient who is struggling but is having a hard time discussing it. While screening is a step in the right direction, OB-GYNs typically only see moms once or twice in the six weeks after childbirth. For that reasons pediatricians are joining the effort to identify postpartum depression by screening moms at infant checkups. Patients who deliver with family practitioners may have a unique advantage. “We take care of the whole family,” said Dodds. “We see the mom throughout her pregnancy, and we continue to see her at infant checks.” Multiple points of contact can make it easier to identify a mom who is struggling, but Dodds doesn’t assume anything with her
patients. “Postpartum depression doesn’t discriminate. It can happen to anyone. Someone who looks like they have it all together might be deeply hurting on the inside, so I try to keep an open dialogue with all my patients about this,” said Dodds. “Maybe a mom isn’t dealing with postpartum depression, but then it’s a chance to educate and to raise awareness.” Treatment for postpartum depression can include therapy, medicine or a combination of both. Treatment is typically based on what the patient is most comfortable with, but often a combination of both medicine and therapy can give the quickest and best results. Women should not be concerned if they develop postpartum depression. It’s very common, and there is help for moms who are suffering. “The best thing a mom can do is talk to the health care provider she feels most comfortable with,” said Karre. “Maybe that’s a nurse, pediatrician or obstetrician. If that provider doesn’t have the best answer, they’ll find someone who does. There are treatments that can help them get back to enjoying their life.”
oMaHa WoRLD-HERaLD
sUnDay, May 14, 2017
CUTE baby ConTEsT
Dolls, one and all By Chris Christen // World-Herald staff Writer
Nothing may be more richly documented than a child’s first year of life. Anyone who has ever doted on a bright-eyed infant will love our gallery of reader-submitted images in The World-Herald’s Cutest Baby Contest. The winner, chosen in a random drawing, is Kora Bingham, 8-month-old daughter of Shannon and Kurt Bingham of Omaha. In addition to landing on the cover of Parenting by Momaha.com, Kora received a $100 gift card – and bragging rights for the rest of her life! Find the gallery, along with tips and advice for new and seasoned parents alike at momaha.com.
Josiah Anderson
Madisyn Rice
Dominick Leapley
Scarlett Baldwin
Tyson Schlautman
Brody Bucher
9 weeks old Aaron Addison and Ellen Anderson
6 months old Jarrod Rice II and Shaina Russell
7 months old Mike Leapley and Tj Eadus
10 months old Chris and Jennifer Baldwin
10 months old Jason and Shelby Schlautman
20 months old Joey and Alyssa Bucher
Sophia Grace Yanez
Braxton Moreno
Isabelle Brummels
Wyatt Morrow
Brody Holmes
Sawyer Henry
7 months old Nick and Angel Yanez
10 months old Curtis and Traci Moreno
10 months old Jordan and Kathleen Brummels
15 months old Phillip and Melissa Morrow
9 months old Doug and Sigourney Holmes
11 months old Rob and Melissa Henry
Camryn Hall
John Klingemann
Makenna Krecklow
Logan Wilkinson
Meghan Guenther
Sarthak Baniya
9 months old Wes and Ann Hall
7 months old Ben and Ashley Klingemann
8 months old Nathan and Amy Krecklow
11 weeks old William and Emma Wilkinson
8 months old Matt and Emily Guenther
8 months old Samanta and Srijana Baniya
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Charlotte Dunn and Emily Dunn
Jack and Luke Gordon
Raymond Vega II and Theodore Vega IV
2 weeks old Joshua and Jessica Dunn
9 months old Jeff and Chelsea Gordon
19 months old Theodore Vega III and Brenda Hibberd
Owen Farris
Elon Clark
Kellen Pope
Shaun Brown
2 months old Rob and Melissa Farris
9 months old Abram and Teresa Clark
15 months old Anthony Pope and Lindsey Kelly
4 months old Mike Brown and Aprill Johnson
India Garrett
Avianna Nabity
Parker Wurth
Jaxon Smith
Sophia White
Illyana Cole
15 weeks old Fredrick Garrett and Shayla Pierce
8 months old Chad Adams and Caitlyn Nabity
6 months old Paul and Kary Wurth
10 months old Cody and Kara Smith
22 months old Larreon White and Brenda Ibarra
2 years old Zachary and Shelby Cole
Myles Hardt
Lincoln Gregory
Elise Spearman
Harrison Harshbarger
Anduin Schroeder
Maxwell Borcherding
9 months old Alex and Katie Hardt
15 months old William and Julia Creech
16 months old Colton and Carly Spearman
5 months old Dustin and Amanda Schroeder
8 months old David and Jennifer Borcherding
Mateo Perez
Robert Granneman
Connor Braasch
Flynn Seader
Griffin Helget
Sigyn Eriksdottir
8 days old Baltazar and Ashley Perez
8 months old Jeff and Laura Granneman
2 months old Ryan and Amanda Braasch
2 months old Kyle and Brittany Seader
11 months old Jon and Jamie Helget
20 months old Caleb and Jennifer Harshbarger
Taylor DeLaet 16 months old Alex DeLaet and Amanda Hennings
Eleanor Birchard 9 days old Jared and Leslie Birchard
22 months old Erik Lloyd Olson and Clacy Olson
OMaHa WORLd-HERaLd
Francis Smith
Lawson Lake
Andrew King
Max DeSalvo
Cole Jones
Jabari King Johnson
6 months old Adam and Rene Smith
8 months old Greg Lake and Catrina Buchanan Lake
5 months old David and Jenna King
11 months old Jules and Sarah DeSalvo
2 months old Gregg and Carmen Jones
8 months old Justina Cummings
Mackenzie Dosseh
Emerie Mielak
John Kabes
Charlie Graham
Emmalynn Jensen
Zoe Fox
5 months old Edem and Heather Dosseh
8 months old Frank and Jamie Mielak
6 months old Chris and Anne Marie Kabes
6 months old Austin and Taylor Graham
7 months old Devin and Brittany Jensen
6 months old Mike Fox and Victoria Martinez
Liam Joe
Hudson Heinemann
Saylor Marie Meyers
Yogi Yakopec
Walter Bachmann
Christopher Boyle
7 months old Tony and Devin Joe
2 years old Tommy and Katrina Heinemann
3 months old Michael and Paige Meyers
6 months old Mike and Kelly Yakopec
1 year old Nicholas and Jennifer Bachmann
1 month old Colin Boyle and Makenzie Meyer
Karsen Browne
Azlynn Nihsen
Sophia Roush
Charlotte Childers
Skylar Arter
Hudson Fargo
15 months old Keith and Rebeca Browne
3 years old Dustin and Sarah Nihsen
1 year old Mitchell and Marissa Roush
8 months old Dru and Audry Childers
20 months old Zach and Bryanne Arter
15 weeks old James and Abigail Fargo
Kaiden Parrott
Braxton Dunn
Autumn Longshore
Weston Callan
Lucca Boni
Bennett Schrieber
11 months old Travis and Jamie Dunn
6 months old Daniel Longshore and Alycia Stuthman
2 months old Brian and Kelly Callan
9 months old Aaron and Kaylin Boni
6 months old Jeff and Kylie Schrieber
11 months old Anthony Parrott and Dayna Gunter
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Sloane Fonfara
Micah Tabor
Miles Bruntz
Colin Bruntz
Wyatt Garcia
Ryder Garcia
9 months old Ben and Toni Fonfara
8 months old Aaron and Courtney Tabor
8 months old Brad and Megan Bruntz
8 months old Brad and Megan Bruntz
2 months old Joshua Garcia and Nicole Kendrick
2 months old Joshua Garcia and Nicole Kendrick
Beau Adams
Olivia Moore
Claralyn Lamblin
Gideon Bounds
Kaylee Copple
London Weisbeck
4 months old Josh and Suzanne Adams
11 months old Andrew and Megan Moore
3 months old Nicholaus and Trisha Lamblin
10 months old Chris and Lindsay Bounds
6 months old Anthony and Sara Copple
2 years old Laine and Mallory Weisbeck
Cruz Weisbeck
Brecken Petersen
Hayden Walls
Jaxson Diehl
Presley Kieler
Emily Slobotski
3 years old Laine and Mallory Weisbeck
4 weeks old Adam and Shannon Petersen
14 months old Jacob and Holly Walls
4 months old Jeff Diehl and Jessi Saxton
11 months old Quentin and Hope Kieler
7 months old Matt and Kaylee Slobotski
Jacob Matson
Frank Thome
Porter Stutsman
Isla Robinson
Skylar Maynor
Jaxson Hinman
18 months old Peter and Jessica Matson
10 months old John and Alex Thome
8 months old Dave and Chelsea Stutsman
14 months old Nick and Sara Robinson
9 months old Perry and Jasmine Maynor
4 months old Brandon Hinman and Taylor Mason
Evalynn Hill
Lucy Dominguez
Mia Slack
Lennon Thomsen
Roselyn Mancuso
Bentley Huber
3 months old Greg and Ena Hill
11 months old Seth Dominguez and Mary Hornig
11 months old Stephen Slack and Celia Remijio
7 months old Chase and Niki Thomsen
3 months old Rob and Lisa Mancuso
8 months old Dustin and Alyssa Huber
OMAHA WORLD-HERALD
SunDAy, MAy 14, 2017
Dominic Lopez
Talyn Moore
Kodah LaPointe
Charlieigha Fiscus
Samara James
Cyrus Warren
2 years old Josue Lopez and Emma Mounce
15 days old Kris and Brittnie Moore
1 year old Brandon and Kendra LaPointe
7 weeks old Jessa Fiscus
3 months old Tyrrell Broadway and Chalandria James
5 months old Calyn and Gwendolyn Warren
Triton Ellis
Harrison Livingston
Mariah Edwards
Heaven Roper
Violet Robb
Greta Meldrum
5 months old Cody Ellis and Ashley Montgomery
8 months old Michael and Jenny Livingston
5 months old Jordan Edwards and Demia Woodruff
9 months old Derrick and LeTisha Roper
7 weeks old Christopher Robb and Shelby Bomar
9 months old Joe and Aubri Meldrum
Rainey Neemann
Aarav Devani
Eliana Boesiger
Magnolia Raymond
16 months old Jacob and Brittany Neemann
2 years old Kanubhai Devani and Jayshri Ramani
3 months old Andres Boesiger and Lisa Pohlmeier
3 months old Alex and Hayley Raymond
Parenting by Momaha.com A special section produced by the Omaha World-Herald.
Project editor Chris Christen, 402-444-1094, chris.christen@owh.com Deputy project editor Howard K. Marcus, 402-444-1397, howard.marcus@owh.com Momaha.com editor Ashlee Coffey, 402-444-1075, ashlee.coffey@owh.com Content coordinator/designer Kiley Cruse Copy editor Kim Carpenter Contributors Jenni DeWitt, Scott Butler, John Baylor On the cover Cutest Baby Contest winner, 8-month-old Kora Bingham Advertising coordinator Robbie Moffett For advertising information contact Dan Matuella, 402-444-1485, dan.matuella@owh.com
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Hear from other local moms, parenting experts and pediatricians on momaha.com l Special online features, forums & contests l Great food, entertainment & craft ideas l Our weekly Thursday newsletter, featuring calendar and event listings, upcoming momaha events, live chats, Evening Children’s Story Time, weekly blogs from pediatricians and parenting experts
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OMAHA WORLD-HERALD
The beauty of being an ‘okay’ parent By Rachel MeyeR // The WashingTon PosT
THE WORLD-HERALD
First rule of sports parenting: Don’t speak By The WashingTon PosT Your child doesn’t have to play in the Super Bowl for you to know the feeling. Their team was supposed to win and then they didn’t. What do you do? Being the mother of two girls who played soccer and ran track, I thought I knew the answer: Talk it through. Tell them you love them. Say it’s just a game. Remind them there’s always a next time. Isn’t that what good parenting is all about? Keeping channels of communication open even in tough moments? Turns out the answer is no. I learned this when I had a “don’t speak” moment. This moment came when I was standing on a grassy hill at a high school soccer game. The command was delivered by a parent named Peter, whose daughter is a year older than mine. This made him an ideal adviser; he had already been where I was now, and he hadn’t yet had time to forget. We had come to cheer on our girls in a high-stakes varsity soccer game. The winner would go on to the state tournament. For the seniors, it was the last chance to grab a championship for the school. Adding pressure, the opposing team was a rival from a nearby town. My daughter, a junior, was new to the team, but her drive to win was strong. No one was cocky, but they had the confidence that comes with a winning season. You could feel the communal belief that this would be the year they went all the way. They just needed this last win. Their lead slipped to a tie toward the end of the second half. In the last minute of play there was a stumble, scrambling and a goal for the other team. Parents supplied transportation for home games, so we waited while our daughters gave sullen high-fives to the winners and then huddled with their
coach, listening as he shared his disappointment. When he was done they separated and, backpacks slung over shoulders, trudged across the field toward where we stood. Watching their grim faces approach I wished a meteorologist were present to confirm my suspicion that 22 high school girls who’ve just lost a chance at a state title can change the atmosphere, collectively sucking the light out of the sky. Their fury was frightening. But Peter had been through this before. “Don’t speak,” he said. As I started to turn my head he added, “Don’t look. Just walk. Go to your car. She’ll find you.” I tried not to move my lips as I objected. “All I want to say is I’m sorry.” “Don’t,” he advised. “Don’t speak. Not until she talks to you.” Because he had been through this before, I listened and walked to my car alone. I felt her before I saw her, walking silently beside me. Reassuring phrases immediately formed in my brain but, channeling Peter, I said nothing. A moment later I noticed her teammates walking with their parents, mothers mostly, who offered words of consolation. “Are you okay?” and “You played well,” and “There’s always next time.” To me the words sounded gentle and kind. The girls did not agree. “No,” they snapped, and “I sucked,” and “There won’t be a next time.” By the time we reached the car, every daughter except mine was crying and the moms were, understandably, annoyed and lashing back. “Why are you yelling at me?” and “Being upset is no excuse for being rude.” We were silent on the ride home, silent as I turned on to our street. It was when I pulled into the driveway that my daughter finally spoke. “That was such a bad game.”
I nodded. Her voice was quiet when she said, “They shouldn’t have won.” And mine was quiet when I agreed. “I know.” She got out of the car and asked, “What’s for dinner?” and I told her. When she went upstairs to shower, I phoned Peter to thank him. “Any other magical advice?” I asked. He laughed and said, “No, that’s it.” “That’s okay,” I told him. “That’s enough.” On the continuum of empathetic to indifferent, I’m right there with the empaths from “Minority Report.” If I see someone is hurting, I’m not shy about acknowledging their pain. What a revelation to discover that’s nothing compared to standing as silent witness. But what about that pesky keepingchannels-of-communication-open thing? How does staying silent jive with that? The answer came to me later when I realized I’d misunderstood Peter’s point. The goal of silence wasn’t to prevent conversation. It was to give my daughter space to initiate it. “Don’t speak” really meant “listen first.” And the day of her soccer game, it worked like magic. In the years since my “don’t speak” moment, I’ve had many chances to practice what I learned. Moments with big questions such as: Which college should I go to? Which job would be better? Which wedding dress should I pick? Moments that would have ended poorly if I hadn’t learned that lesson: To wait and find out my daughter’s opinion before I chimed in with mine. I still see Peter sometimes and when I do I always want to ask, “Any more magical advice?” But I know he would just laugh and say, “No, that’s it.” And I’d say, “That’s okay. That’s enough.”
Let’s be honest: Parenting in the 21st century is daunting. Parents constantly feel like they should be doing more. I grew up in South Dakota and Nebraska, the second of four kids, where my parents were too busy working and keeping us fed and clothed to hover. They instilled simple values I’ll always be grateful for and I strive to emulate as a parent. After my son was born, I looked back at my own childhood and identified several key themes I wanted to replicate. Here are the five things I do with my child every day in the hopes of being an okay parent. 1. Read. We do this at the library, on park benches, in bed before naps, at restaurants waiting for our food and in the back seat of the car while my husband runs into the grocery store. Reading is a part of our life, and it always will be. Seeing the joy my son gets from our trips to the library fills my heart. Sure, it’s often exhausting. But I know this investment of time and energy in these first few years will pay off when he looks forward to snuggling up with a book on his own. 2. Create family time. Kim John Payne’s book “Simplicity Parenting” emphasizes the importance of building family rituals into the week. Make pancakes together every Sunday morning. Set and clear the table together. Eat dinner together. FaceTime with cousins and grandparents who are far away. Do what you can with what you have. I know there may come a time when my son is a sullen teenager who doesn’t want to tell us about his day. Here and now, though, we are laying a foundation for a sense of connection that hopefully will weather any storms of the teenage years. 3. Make music. The arts are not a luxury. They’re essential to well-being. My mother surrounded us with music as kids: at church, at home, at school. Studies show that music makes kids smarter. My husband and I expose our son to music as much as possible, playing jazz in the car, or reggae as we’re making dinner. I sing with my little guy frequently, take him to weekly parent-child music classes and talk about specific instruments. 4. Get out in nature. Make a point to get out of the house every day. There’s always a park, a hiking trail or a neighborhood stroll with opportunities to explore and discover, to value fresh air and quiet and to take in all the marvels of the natural world. It can be as simple as walking two blocks up the street to say hello to the goats and chickens who live in the neighbor’s back yard and collecting leaves, berries and weeds on the way home. 5. Thank God. You can fill-in-the-divinity-blank here, using whatever word feels good to you: Spirit, Wisdom, Allah, Gaia, prana, OM. You get the point. We say a blessing before every meal. We take our son to a Unitarian church to give him a dose of thoughtfulness, meditation and faith-informed social justice. We want him to understand how his life fits into the greater universal picture and to search for meaning. Talking about God and thanking God for our daily food and our warm home, feels like a great, simple way to start. It’s not always easy to make time for these things, even though they are priorities. Some days are a struggle and I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing much beyond keeping people alive. But if you think to yourself now and then “Books, family, music, nature, God,” your days will take on a sweet, simple structure of their own.
OMAHA WORLD-HERALD
SunDAy, MAy 14, 2017
Summertime: Keep the learning going
incorporate lullabies into bedtime routine
By scott ButLeR momaha.Com
iStocK
By Lindsey M. RoBeRts The WashingTon PosT
There are hundreds of things that can keep a child from sleeping, including teething, growth spurts, reflux, learning to walk, autism or another disability or simply being strong-willed. No matter the cause of sleeplessness, lullabies can help children get more rest. I don’t know why I overlooked this time-tested tool when I became a mom. I love to sing, and my sister-in-law was using lullabies with my niece around the same time. Maybe I thought that in the 21st century parenting had progressed beyond cradle rocking and mothers humming. As with everything else related to parenting, I had to figure things out by doing what didn’t work, first. When my son was 2 we knew we needed some help. My husband and I would put him to bed at 7 p.m. (with three stories, two songs, one prayer, lots of blankets, kisses and hugs) only to hear him talk to himself and play with his stuffed animals until 10 p.m. He would be tired the next day, nap too long in the afternoon and repeat the cycle. Someone suggested playing music that had 60 beats per minute – the idea being that our son found sleep boring. Lullabies at that tempo give a child something to focus on and draw them into a relaxed state – and sleep. I bought an album on iTunes and streamed it into his room through my smartphone and a portable Bluetooth speaker hung on a nail (some things do change with the times). By 8:30 p.m. the first night, he was asleep, giving my
husband and me time for a glass of wine before our own bedtime. Janet K. Kennedy, a clinical psychologist and the founder of NYC Sleep Doctor, said she has seen this miracle before. “I had an ‘aha’ moment when my daughter was 18 months,” she said. “She had been sick and once she recovered, she was having night terrors. On the second night of this, at 2 in the morning, I put a CD in, her eyes glazed over and she pointed to go to bed. She seemed to be more peaceful and had no more night terrors.” Have someone you need to lull to sleep? Here are some tips. » Start any time: Lullabies can help kids of any age settle down. It’s especially helpful as you first start to train babies to sleep, Kennedy said, but you can start at any age. “They can respond to their environment and learn to sleep independently with the right set up. Maybe it’s a stuffed animal or a pacifier or even reading books. It works because it’s a cue. It puts a good routine in place.” » Choose your tech: Decide whether you want to stream music from the cloud or play a physical CD. Our Bluetooth speaker was great at home and on the road until it died, but the music was tied to our phones. When we had sitters over and took our phones with us, our son didn’t have music. » Choose a tempo and a style: Sixtybeat-per-minute music is the best. This tempo is good for learning, too, but if you go much higher than 60 bpm, the music can rev up the listener, rather than calm him. The tempo of about 60 to 80 beats per minute is a normal human
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heart rate at rest, so aiming for that range is akin to a baby listening to his mother’s heartbeat and falling asleep. You can find playlists on streaming services or YouTube. If you choose classical, make sure it’s not too orchestral or upbeat – artists such as Bach, Handel, Haydn or Vivaldi. Native American music is also effective. Hipster parents might like Caspar Babypants – formerly the singer of The Presidents of the United States of America – who has a CD for kids called “Night Night.” We frequently use the “Hidden in My Heart” series. Kennedy recommends the classical album “Bedtime Beats.” » Limit it to 30 minutes: Kennedy said not to let lullabies run all night, because the brain stays attuned to sound and might not get into a deep sleep. Playing music for a half-hour after bedtime is good. “I recommend using the old-fashioned white noise machines all night, but only using music as a sleep cue and as part of the bedtime routine,” she said. » Give it time: You might not see instant success like we did. A child may have to grow accustomed to music in the room – or might need it in tandem with a pile of stuffed animals and a weighted blanket. Like all things parenting, trial and error is key. For us, the music was a winner at night but distracting during naps. If it doesn’t work for you, don’t push it. » Take it with you: Bring the lullabies along when you travel. Familiar tunes have helped both our kids adapt to new sleeping situations and time zones multiple times.
One of my fondest childhood memories is the incredible feeling of freedom I experienced each May on the last day of school. I walked out of the school building carrying the remains of my school year, a back pack full of half-used pencils, broken crayons and used up notebooks. The entire summer was in front of me. My child eyes refused to focus far enough ahead to see the next grade looming in August. In the years since, I have become a parent. As I watch my children come home dazzled by the possibilities of summer, I’m very aware of the challenges that stand in front of them in the not-too-distant future. Like most parents, I want to make sure I take every possibility to help them be prepared for their next grade. Summer provides students and parents the rich opportunities to apply academic learning into real world experiences. If you do fun activities, your kids won’t even realize they are practicing their academics and learning new skills. Here are some suggestions for summer activities that allow kids to use the skills learned throughout the school year. 1. Cook together. Measurement and fractions are embedded in all cooking tasks. For older kids, practice doubling or cutting a recipe in half. 2. Read together. Reading is one of the best activities we can do with our kids. The Reading to Kids website, www.readingtokids.org, provides a long list of recommended books by grade level. You can click on the title to get an overview of the book and a list of suggested craft activities you can do with your kids while discussing the book. For older kids, read the book before or after they have read it. Share your thoughts. If your child doesn’t like to read traditional books, find a magazine that reflects his or her interests. Don’t forget to be a role model – let your child see you reading for pleasure, too. 3. Hunt for numbers. Numbers are all over our world – street names, price tags, zip codes, speed limits. Ask your kids to point out all the numbers they see. Keep a list of what the numbers are communicating (speed, price, etc.) See if you can make your list longer on your next outing. 4. Interviews. Kids love to hear stories about their families and what life was like years ago. Set aside some time to interview an older family member about what life was like when he or she was a child. If the older family member was raised nearby, go and visit the neighborhood. You can further this activity by building a family tree or investigating your heritage on sites such as ancestry.com. 5. Think ahead to fall. Most schools have well developed websites. Take some time to explore the web page and resources for the grade your child will enter in August. Seeing the types of resources will give you a great idea of some of the major topics he or she will study. Use these ideas to help your child get early exposure to the topics. 6. Most importantly, have fun being together. Scott Butler has been a professional educator for 28 years. He has worked as a classroom teacher, school counselor and school administrator. Additionally, Scott is a licensed mental health practitioner. He is currently the director of the Boys Town Day School. He is father to four kids. Outside of work, he is an avid gardener and quilter.
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sunDay, May 14, 2017
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Content sponsored by Boys Town Pediatrics
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Grow!
With Boys Town Pediatrics
JULIA NAGY/THE WORLD-HERALD
For sun safety, make sure to use a stroller cover or an umbrella to block harmful rays.
We’re Boys Town Pediatrics. Come grow with us.
Be prepared when taking your newborn outdoors By Boys Town PediaTrics Once you’ve brought your new baby home, you may soon find yourself wishing to head outside with him or her on a nice day. There are no hard and fast medical rules for taking your baby outside, but it does take preparation to ensure a successful trip out the door.
Dressing for the Weather For spring and fall weather (temperatures between 40 and 75 degrees), layer up and remove later if needed. Some layering options are a short-sleeved onesie, pants and long-sleeved top, light jacket or hoodie, socks under booties and a light beanie. For summer weather (temperatures above 75 degrees), have a single layer, such as a onesie and shorts or light cotton pants. A sun hat should also be included, along with sunscreen for babies older than 6 months. Babies younger than 6 months can wear sunscreen, but a small amount is recommended. A good rule is to put your baby in one more layer than you are wearing. For example, if you’re in jeans and a longsleeve shirt, put your baby in long pants, long-sleeves and a jacket or hoodie.
sun safety Your baby’s skin is much more sensitive than yours, so make sure you’re applying sunscreen at least every two hours. Apply it more frequently if your baby is sweating or in water, and don’t forget about the hands and feet. Choose a baby-safe, broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of at least 15 and avoid irritating the skin and eyes with sunscreen
that contains zinc oxide or titanium dioxide. Along with sunscreen, use alternate forms of sun protection such as: • Wide-brimmed hats • Sunglasses (if your baby tolerates them) • Long sleeves or pants in a loose, breathable material • Stroller covers or an umbrella Avoid being outside during peak sunlight hours, between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m., even if the day is overcast.
What to Pack While a short walk around the neighborhood requires a small amount of supplies, spending more than a couple of hours outside means you need to pack a bag. Diapering supplies: Have several extra diapers and plenty of wipes, a tube of diaper rash ointment and a change of clothes for your baby. It also wouldn’t hurt to have an extra shirt for yourself or your partner, just in case there’s a blowout while holding or carrying your baby. Food/nourishment: If breastfeeding, bring along whatever you need, such as a cover if desired or a small pillow for support. If your baby drinks from a bottle, bring one or two with formula and some bottled water for mixing or pack a small cooler with pumped breast milk. Toys: Have some toys available in the stroller or on your baby carrier to keep your little one occupied. Extra sunscreen: Bring enough sunscreen for you, your baby and whoever else is coming along.
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