The Ontarion - Issue #176.2 by The Ontarion

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Issue No. 176.2

SEE CENTRE

THE WORLD JUNIORS

INTERVIEW WITH: LUCKY YATES

SMART PHONE ETIQUETTE

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NEWS 3 • ARTS & CULTURE 7 • SPORTS & HEALTH 11 • LIFE 17 • OPINION 21 • EDITORIAL 26 • FUN PAGE 27

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Issue 176.2 • Thursday, January 15, 2015

Oil prices continue to slide How drops in oil price impact Canadian and international economy JOANNE PEARCE Those of us who own cars may be pleasantly surprised by the current drops in gas prices, as the price of a barrel oil continues to slide. As a result, however, Canadians saw the loonie fall to 84.57 cents US last week. Despite this unfortunate drop for the Canadian dollar, the dramatic decrease in oil prices could be extremely pleasant for consumers: The Royal Bank of Canada’s (RBC) assistant chief economist, Paul Ferley, noted in a report last week

that Canadians could save up to $9 billion at the pumps. In Ontario, cheap oil is also considered to be, perhaps, a good thing. “Energy’s share of Ontario’s economy is a scant two per cent, and that province will actually benefit by a weaker Canadian dollar,” the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce (CIBC) stated. Not all of Canada, however, will see these proposed benefits. The decrease in crude oil prices has hammered the Toronto Stock Exchange (TSX), and last week, the commodity-based shares were especially hit hard with the drop: the energy subindex was sent off six per cent, and metal and mining off more than four. The dramatic decrease in oil prices that we are seeing in Canada will especially hit Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Newfoundland and Labrador hard – those areas of Canada who have oil energy sectors and will experience losses in those sectors,

accounting directly to nearly 25 to 30 per cent of Canada’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP). In fact, the Bank of Canada estimates that overall, the drastic drop in oil prices will cause around one-third of a percentage off of Canada’s GDP next year. Some companies have reported their intention to spend less to try and balance their losses in the market. However, a Wall Street Journal analysis published in January of 2015 showed that this decision will depend entirely on the debt load being carried by some producers. Some of these companies may have to continue production despite the dive in oil prices, as they require the income to pay off their debts. Long-term, this is the danger that certain countries may face, as Russia’s economy is predicted to shrink 4.5 per cent next year if oil continues to be priced at $60 a barrel and below. Venezuela and Iran will also see dire economic consequences, and

NEWS

States, opposingly, will experience economic boosts; it’s the areas which produce oil, such as Texas and North Dakota, that are expected to see drops in revenue. Certain predictions state that there is the possibility that oil will continue to drop, as the Bank of America’s Merril Lynch noted how West Texas Intermediate (WTI) prices could fall as low as $35 per barrel. “We see a growing risk of WTI and Brent falling to $35 and $40 per barrel near-term to force either non-OPEC producers or Saudi to cut,” the Bank of America said in a research note last M1KHA VIA CC BY-SA 2.0 week. While Canadian consumers may A Conference Board of Canada enjoy the immediate benefits of lower report was also released in early oil prices, the drop in cost per barrel January, predicting that prices could create long-term problems for will rise again in Canada over the the national economy. course of 2015, but will still be much lower than the $100 range the United States could see mixed that it was traded for just this results. Some areas of the United past summer.

Kepler mission identifies 1000th Exoplanet Landmark discovery made by American space agency SAMEER CHHABRA On Jan. 6, 2015, the American National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that its Kepler spacecraft had recently identified its 1000th exoplanet since its launch in 2009. The spacecraft is designed to map out a portion of the Milky Way in order to examine the number of planets outside of our solar system orbiting

around their suns’ habitable zones in our galaxy. Scientists at NASA analyzed Kepler data and concluded that at least eight more exoplanet candidates were, in fact, planets orbiting stars. Of the eight identified planets, three are located in their suns’ habitable zone, and two of these three are most likely made of rock – like Earth. Exciting is that the two rocky planets – Kepler-438b and Kepler-442b – are less than 1.5 times the diameter of Earth. Kepler-438b is 475 light-years away, and is 12 per cent larger than Earth, while Kepler-442b is 33 per cent larger than Earth, and is 1,100 light-years away. A single light-year is the distance that light travels in a single Earth year, and is calculated to

approximately 10 trillion kilometres. “Each result from the planet-hunting Kepler mission’s treasure trove of data takes us another step closer to answering the question of whether we are alone in the Universe, said John Grunsfeld, associate administrator of NASA’s Science Mission Directorate at the agency’s headquarters in Washington, in a press release. “The Kepler team and its science community continue to produce impressive results with the data from this venerable explorer.” Additionally, the Kepler team has added 554 candidates to the list of potential planets, bringing the total list of candidates to 4,175. “With each new discovery of these small, possibly rocky worlds, our

confidence strengthens in the determination of the true frequency of planets like Earth, said Doug Caldwell, SETI Institute Kepler scientist at NASA’s Ames Research Centre at Moffett Field, in the same press release. “The day is on the horizon when we’ll know how common temperate, rocky planets like Earth are.” The Habitable Zone is described as a precise area of space that a planet must orbit in order to sustain terrestrial life. The habitable zone is sometimes called the Goldilocks zone, because it is a region of space that is “just right.” For all other stars, the habitable zone is calculated using information about the Earth’s biosphere, as well as the Earth and sun’s mass.

Kepler uses a photometer that monitors the brightness of over 145,000 main sequence stars in order to determine information about any possible orbiting planetary bodies. For the bodies identified as planets, their composition is determined using calculations based on the planet’s distance from its star, as well as general assumptions about the formation of planets. “Kepler collected data for four years – long enough that we can now tease out the Earth-size candidates in one Earth-year orbit,” said Fergal Mullally, SETI Institute Kepler scientist, in the same press release. “We’re closer than we’ve ever been to finding Earth twins around other sun-like stars. There are the planets we’re looking for.”

NEWS

Under the 34th Annual Guelph Organic Conference & Expo Radar A preview

2,000 suspected dead in Nigeria Hundreds of bodies – “too many to count” – lie in the bushes in Baga, Nigeria after an Islamic extremist attack at the hands of Boko Haram – an attack noted by Amnesty International (AI) to be the “deadliest massacre” in the terrorist organization’s history. “The human carnage perpetrated by Boko Haram terrorists in Baga was enormous,” said Muhammad Abba Gava, a spokesman for a defence group that fights the terrorist group. “No one can attend to the corpses and even the seriously injured ones, who may have died by now.” Insurgents seized a key military base on Jan. 3 around Baga, which borders Chad. District head Baba Abba Hassan has declared that most of the victims are children, women, and elderly people who could not run when the insurgents drove into town, firing grenades and assault rifles at residents. AI estimates that the town was razed, and as many as 2,000 civilians were killed. If this is correct, Nigeria researcher for AI Daniel Eyre notes, “this marks a disturbing and bloody escalation of Boko Haram’s ongoing onslaught.” Previously, the deadliest attack from the terrorist group passed in March of 2014, when soldiers gunned down unarmed detainees in Maiduguri, killing an estimated 600 people. The latest attacks come a mere five weeks from the presidential elections, likely to trigger further violence. The current government has made no official statement regarding the massacres, although President Goodluck Jonathan briefly touched on security issues in his address to launch his reelection bid. To date, almost two million people have been displaced by the violence at the hands of Boko Haram. These voices will almost certainly be silenced in the upcoming election, as they will be unable to vote in the polls due to current restrictions under Nigeria’s electoral laws. - Compiled by Alyssa Ottema

TheON

of exhibits, workshops, and seminars on everything organic ANNIE KRUEGER From Jan. 29 to Feb. 1, the Organic Conference & Expo will run Guelph for its 34th year. With an estimated 1,800 attendees, hundreds of booths, and many workshops, the expo is considered to be kind of a big deal - and deservedly so. 34 years ago, this conference was a tiny, half-day seminar, organized by a few grad students. Now, the expo is an internationally-recognized annual event that draws people in from all over Canada and the United States. With the growing movement for local, sustainable food, the conference has definitely hit its growth spurt. This year, the focus is on Organic By Design. It features organic innovators and businesses known for pushing the industry forward. The conference is half workshops and seminars and half exhibition. The workshops require a fee to participate, but the expo itself is essentially free. The expo will consist of hundreds of booths and tables set up in the University Centre, all advertising and promoting organic products and businesses. Several companies are set to make an appearance, from Johnny’s

WENDY SHEPHERD/THE ONTARION

The 34th annual Guelph Organic Conference & Expo will run from Jan. 29 to Feb. 1 this year, featuring organic innovators from across North America. Selected Seeds, a specialized seed company that offers a wide variety of non-GM, organic, and heirloom seeds; to Fromagerie L’Ancêtre, a dairy company based out of Quebec that offers organic cheeses and butters; to The Big Carrot, a natural foods market based in Toronto; to the Organic Cotton Company, a company which manufactures certified organic clothing and accessories. For Thursday, Jan. 29, attendees can look forward to a symposium titled “Organic Foods, Holistic Health – Connecting the Dots, Communicating the Benefits.” The symposium is set to feature a panel of three women: Dr Harmonie Eleveld, a naturopathic doctor & birth doula; Laura Baer,

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an organic farmer and holistic practitioner; and Elisabeth Leslie, a senior instructor at the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition. For Friday, Jan. 30, anticipate a wide variety of workshops, offered in 3 hour intensive sessions. On Friday evening in the Thornborough Auditorium, participants can look forward to the “Community Forum on National Organic Farming Issues – State of the Nation,” during which three experts on the organic industry in Canada will speak on organic foods and the farming business. Saturday, Jan. 31 is set to be the busiest day of the conference, with five planned workshop streams in Organic Crops, Organic Livestock, Urban Agriculture, Pollination,

Horticulture, and BioDiversity, and Permaculture and Restoration Agriculture. The day is set to host 20 workshops, covering everything from farming with horses to organic inspections, social justice, and food production. The final day of the expo is set to offer 15 different workshops, ranging from Heirloom Garlic to Organic Fruit Orchards, as well as covering many more topics. The workshops and seminars take place in various halls around campus, and many of the workshops are offered at a discounted student rate, in recognition of the cost of being a student. Prospective participants can register online on the Guelph Organic Conference website.

Upcoming events Jan. 15 & 16: CSA Club Days, UC Courtyard, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Jan. 16: CSA General Elections Nomination period closes, 4 p.m. Jan. 19: SVC Inter(act) Volunteer Fair, UC Courtyard, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Guelph Organic Conference currently seeking volunteers for administration, tech support and a variety of other jobs. Attend the conference Jan. 29 - Feb. 1 for free! Fill out an application form online at guelphorganicconf.ca Jan. 23: Application deadline for March of Remembrance & Hope, student leadership program to Germany and Poland visiting sites related to Holocaust and World War II, May 11-20. www.remembranceandhope.com Lambda Scholarship for students performing excellent LGBT research! Up to $1000. Submissions accepted until scholarship given, more info at https://www.uoguelph.ca/ registrar/studentfinance/apps/awards?id=I0591

Issue 176.2 • Thursday, January 15, 2015

NEWS

Sustainability in Guelph Building a responsible city JACK HINDS Some tend to dislike the term ‘sustainability’ when applied to the environmental field. Generally, when that term is used, it isn’t actually applicable. So few human activities will ever be sustainable, either environmentally, economically, or socially. Something will almost always need to be consumed, and so some prefer to use the term ‘responsibility.’ It seems more fitting to call yourself environmentally ‘responsible’ than it does ‘sustainable.’ ‘Responsibility’ fits better with the ebb and flow we see in the environmental sector. It also discourages the island-mentality that some organizations and people take on when

examining their environmental impact – the assumption that your plant, house, or process is exclusive of those around you, and that you need to manage only your own impact. Looking to Guelph as a community, however, ‘sustainability’ may emerge as an applicable term. Guelph has always been viewed as one of the more forward-thinking cities with regards to development. Our university grows steadily, attendance increases each year, buildings are slowly repaired and repurposed, and major renovations or additions only occur when absolutely necessary. Our faculties grow slowly in size but immensely in expertise and quality of learning – a responsible way to improve the university experience without growing out of control. Our city also has a history of tackling change with a responsible and sensible attitude. The communities within our

city benefit each year from new industries, new jobs, and new opportunities. New houses are built every day, but if you drive around Guelph, you sense a feeling of cohesion; every brick, stone, and sidewalk fits nicely in with the city as a whole. This inclination towards responsible development is most pronounced and most noted in our local distribution company (LDC), Guelph Hydro. While many of us may view them as the faceless company that we send a cheque to every two months so that our lights stay on, Guelph Hydro is viewed, within the industry, as being one of the most progressive LDCs in the province. Many of us who haven’t extensively renovated our homes would be ignorant of the groundbreaking incentive programs that Guelph Hydro has sponsored over the years. Guelph Hydro was one of the first LDCs to adopt the SmartMeter

program, and they subsequently turned it into a viable incentive program for their customers, allowing applicants to view their electricity usage and sign up for automatic loadsharing. This reduced overall energy consumption and peak loading – both large stressors on the electricity system and cost savings that can be passed on to the customers. This isn’t the only example of a Guelph organization finding ways to make themselves more responsible. In 2013, the Sleeman Centre made upgrades to their gas thermal energy power plant, approaching local businesses to offer them an opportunity to become part of an energy sharing program, which eventually became the Galt District Energy System. The Sleeman Centre now runs waste process heating and cooling water through insulated pipes to it’s customers, providing them with more affordable

Benchmark interest rates set to increase Potential increased costs to borrowing ALEXANDRA GRANT For the first time in five years, the Benchmark interest rate is looking to increase, leading to higher costs of borrowing. Having sat, for the most part, at zero for the last six years, this increase, expected in the spring if 2015, will see rates increase by a quarter of a per cent. Though this may not seem like a large increase, without a shock to the United States economy, it is projected

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that the rate will gradually increase throughout the year, finishing around 1.25 and 1.50 per cent total growth. However, unlike many other areas, consumer loans, lines of credit, variable rate mortgages, and some car loans will likely feel the effects of the increase immediately and in complete form, meaning up to a 1.50 per cent increase in interest and noticeable changes in payments. Thankfully, for those that are currently feeling the panic of money demands, this increase is still not certain, though some would like to see it come to fruition, as it could mean the cooling off of an overheated housing market and the soft landing that has been long predicted by economists and the Bank of Canada.

If this rise in interest rates is cause for concern, don’t panic, as there are simple and straightforward ways in which to combat the rising costs of borrowing. Firstly, paying down debts should be a main focus for 2015. Though some may be inclined to make large purchases before the rates increase, experts are advising against this. “I find that there’s a feeling that because interest rates are low, you shouldn’t pay down the debt — what’s the point, what’s the rush?” says Jason Heath, a Toronto-based financial planner. “But now may be an opportunity to focus more aggressively on debt repayment while interest rates are low.” “If you make a lump sum payment against a mortgage or a line of

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credit, that’s going directly to your principal and reducing the interest you’re going to pay in the future when rates do rise,” Heath continued. For those who have a floating-rate mortgage or floating-rate loan, Ian Lee, an Assistant Professor at Carleton University’s Sprott School of Business, advises that this loan be locked in with a fixed interest rate – the only downside, Lee notes, being that the principal and interest must be paid back over a specified time, unlike, for example, a home equity line of credit. “The question [is] how you will save more money, and the answer is: lock in your debts,” Lee said. “If you have a variable rate mortgage, switch to a closed rate mortgage and lock it in for as long a term as possible, because

space heating and cooling and making use of waste energy that would otherwise be vented to the atmosphere. The City of Guelph is a shining example of what environmental responsibility can look like: a quiet solution to a problem that so few people admit exists. Looking at our global environmental picture can be a daunting and depressing endeavour, but finding small, inexpensive, and accessible means of making your environment better, like the City of Guelph, is within reach. Look at solar or geothermal water heating, think about signing up for Guelph Hydro’s SaveOnEnergy program, install a new furnace filter, or plant a garden and make one less trip to the grocery store. Any of these things can be done on your own with only a small investment of time and money – but they go miles towards shaping a better world for future generations.

once those rates start going up, we’re never going to see them again.” Finally, of course, the housing question is still an issue. Should consumers be buying or selling property? At this point, many, including Heath, advise against buying a house, especially on a large new line of debt. With the predicted balancing of the housing market, these newly bought homes could dramatically reduce in value, leading to a loss without any gain. Alternatively, those who are looking long-term and are worried about the increase in interest rates and payments may consider now a good time to sell – especially if the home was purchased in the last few years – and look to downsize while the market is still lopsided.

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Issue 176.2 • Thursday, January 15, 2015

ARTS & CULTURE

An interview with Lucky Yates The voice of Archer’s Dr. Krieger opens up about season six ZOEY ROSS Lucky Yates plays the crazed and possibly cloned scientist within the spy agency formerly known as ISIS. He is known for his outlandish pet projects and manic sexual ideals. While unconventional, Dr. Krieger is an asset to the spy team – as is Yates to the Archer team. Fun fact: Yates played a grouch in the 1999 film The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland and played several characters in the show Good Eats before landing his position of Dr. Krieger. So, if you’re under 20, there’s a good chance you’ve been watching his career since birth. Last time we saw Krieger and the Archer team, they were just leaving the cocaine business and getting back to true espionage. With the spin-off season of Archer: Vice over, it’s time to get back to spying. The University of Guelph’s fiction literature, anime, sci-fi, and horror club (F.L.A.S.H) has weekly showings of Archer, hosted by their club leader Andrew Erdman for their members. “Does he (Yates) ever question any of the lines he says? Because there are some things that his character says that I find hilarious but some people might think,

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In this funny and revealing interview, Lucky Yates, the voice of Dr. Krieger on FX’s Archer, speaks to The Ontarion about his career, student life, Krieger’s dark secrets, and the espionage ensemble comedy’s newest season. what?” asked Erdman. The short answer is bestiality, but Yates covers this and much more - including some points on next season and the Krieger clones situation. You can find the interview, word-for-word, below. Zoey Ross: Dr. Krieger has some some crazy pet projects on the go – from Pigley to the “Krieger Cleanse” – not to mention that stealthy submarine. Will he continue to up the ante with wild side projects in the new season? Lucky Yates: He builds a robot bear for A.J. (Lana’s baby) that I really love. Other than that, there hasn’t been anything too bananas.

His hologram girl is getting more powerful, though, and I’m really excited about that. It’s subtle, but it’s there. I love her so much. Seriously. Judy Greer plays her. ZR: Has there ever been a pet project idea of Krieger’s that was mentioned on screen or in development that ever made you reconsider if it was a good fit for the character, or if it was in good (enough) taste? Where’s the line? LY: Never! The only time I’ve ever come close to balking is when it’s implied that Krieger has had “relations” with Pigley 3. He waves the geiger counter over his crotch and it goes off. I thought it was hilarious, but I just didn’t want

Krieger to go that far. I know he’s a sexual weirdo, but bestiality is a line I just didn’t want him to cross. […] ZR: Baby Abbiejean is sure to be a wonderful addition to the show. Do you think Dr. Krieger would make a good babysitter? LY: The best! Look, this little girl has the genes to become the biggest badass on the planet. If Krieger desensitizes her now to all of the horrors in the world, she will literally never fear anything. That’s parenting in the 21st Century, guys. It’s simple math. Or science, or whatever. ZR: There are students who are taking both science and

acting studies at the University of Guelph, any words of wisdom you could impart on them? LY: Yes, keep studying science! Seriously, we’re going to need all the scientists we can get very, very soon. I wish I had studied something other than theatre. I am seriously not qualified to do anything but act like a jackass for the delight of others. Now, it’s worked out pretty swell for me, but I would give anything to have a science background so that I could do cool s***. You can always act. Science, guys. Science. ZR: We know there are many Kriegers out there. What makes the original the best? LY: I assume by “original” you mean our Krieger? Because I hope like hell that there is a Father Krieger out there that is some sort of living clone god. Also, we still don’t know which Krieger came back with the gang at the end of Season 5. Well, I know. And Adam Reed, but that’s it. Not even the executive producers know! So, I don’t even know how to answer that question. It just leads to more questions. ZR: The first-year students in university were under 5 when The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland came out. Now that they are adults, they know you best as Dr. Krieger. How do you feel about that transition? LY: Did you guys get the cooking show Good Eats? It starred Alton Brown. It’s on Netflix now, but it ran for 12 years or something. I played a ton of characters on that as well. So, hopefully I will keep working on cool shows that you guys love and you will be lifelong fans by the time I drop dead. And that kicks some serious ass.

FX’s Archer returns to form for sixth season Espionage ensemble comedy shifts from drug dealing back to spying ADRIEN POTVIN “The Holdout,” the first episode of Archer’s new season, opens with two characteristically Archer moments. First, we see Sterling

Archer “up to his eyeballs in Cobra whiskey and hookers” somewhere in Southeast Asia, instead of helping Lana with their new baby, Abbiejean, and second, we see the rest of the gang anxiously arriving at their newly renovated office. An elaborate hologram prank orchestrated by Cheryl/Carol nearly gives Malory a stroke as the office turns out to be exactly the same as seen in the show’s first four seasons, save for a secret Japanese bath accessed by the janitor’s closet. The latter joke is a sort of indicator of where the series is headed - more of the same, warts and all. But hopefully fans will welcome the sameness

more warmly than Malory does. In “The Holdout,” Archer is sent to destroy an American spy plane that crashed in the jungles of Borneo and recover its computer. In searching for the plane, he discovers a Japanese soldier, lost since the Second World War, who believes Japan and America are still at war. Through pictures and videos on his smartphone, an explanation of the Cold War (in which Soviet and Sino-U.S. relations ended up “kinda weird”), and an emotional phone call to the soldier’s family, he slowly convinces him that years have passed and the war is indeed over. The two manage to blow up the

spy plane, retrieve the computer, and escape the island. The show certainly returns to form in a welcomed way; Archer’s arrogant and hilarious interactions with the CIA and other agencies (“I don’t do dossiers,” he boasts to two CIA pilots before getting thrown out of the plane), and the show’s vague historical setting (contemporary technologies with a pervasive retro-spy aesthetic) are both staples of the show’s style, and “The Holdout” certainly capitalizes on these staples already. Where Archer: Vice ran its course, the sixth season brings back the familiar in a way that just feels natural.

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FX’s Archer goes back to familiar territory in a marked shift from the fifth’s seasons drug and weapons dealing shenanigans.

ARTS & CULTURE

The Guelph Lecture on Being Canadian

Yearly lecture brings night of arts and ideas to the River Run Centre CADEN MCCANN Over the past 12 years, the Guelph Lecture on Being Canadian – a night of live readings, music, and ideas – has been hosted annually at The River Run Center. In past years, the lecture has brought respected public intellectuals from filmmaker Atom Egoyan to scientist Lee Smolin to share their ideas on Canadian identity with a local audience. The 2014/15 installment of the Lecture would prove to be one of the more memorable in recent years, with appearances by writer Miriam Toews, folk singer Basia Bulat, and public intellectuals Janice Gross Stein and Brigitte Shim. The night would begin with a reading from author Miriam Toews (A Complicated Kindness), whose quirky and oft-humorous writing draws on her childhood growing up in a Mennonite prairie family. From there, singer Basia Bulat would entertain the audience with a set of charmingly off-kilter indie pop. After a short intermission, the night would conclude with fascinating discussion between public intellectuals Janice Gross Stein and Brigitte Shim on topics of public space and the beautification of urban settings. A special nod must also go to the Master of Ceremonies, Guelph’s own Robert Enright, who kept audiences engaged throughout the evening with his witty and amusing commentary. Since 2002, the Guelph Lecture series has been one of many events that attempt to bring arts and ideas together in our city, and speak to an idea of “Canada” in a broader, more abstract sense. Although historically the event has attracted an older demographic, in recent years, more and more young people have come to absorb the great entertainment, stirring ideas, and thoughtful discourse. Here’s to hoping this small article influences an even greater student turnout in 2016.

Webcomics: An emerging media with a story to show (and tell) How comic published online become a distinctive medium JACK HINDS It used to be thought that comic books were the safe haven of the nerdy, the outcast and the socially inept. Comics are fantasy worlds made up of people with phenomenal powers, overcoming insurmountable obstacles in the name of justice. While we’re all very familiar with the stories – especially those popularized by films being produced at an alarming rate by the media leviathan that is Marvel Studios – few of us have ever stopped to appreciate the art of the comic book. The artistic merit of that style of storytelling is more apparent in graphic novels, also recently popularized by the graphic-novel-turned-TVshow The Walking Dead. Graphic novels use unique, stark art styles to convey an emotion along with their storytelling. It’s an interesting and extremely gripping medium that I would encourage anyone to check out. The Walking Dead is obviously a good place to start, but you might also check out the Maus series if you want to really appreciate what incorporating art into a fiction story can do. What remains constant through all of these forms of media? They’re all still pay-toview. You still buy comic books, go to theatres to see movies, and a graphic novel will run you just about the same price as a paperback. But, there is a new form of media finding its way to our eyes, and it’s free. Webcomics come in all shapes and sizes, so it isn’t easy to define them by any one genre. What is common to all of them though, is the low cost of entry (read: free). Webcomics generate income

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Web comics are emerging as a legitimate source of artistic expression by becoming easily accessible for a wide variety of audiences. using the tried and true method of all other online services – advertising. Just as you would see advertising on a forum or an ad before a YouTube video, webcomics feature advertisements on their pages as a way to keep their services free.

“...we get to see all kinds of interesting, beautiful and, frankly, somewhat risky publications by way of webcomics.” An interesting and underappreciated consequence of this model of revenue generation, combined with the basic principles under which the internet functions, is an incredibly low barrier of entry. Someone could

write the most beautiful piece of science fiction the modern world has ever seen, but if they don’t have the resources to attract the attention of a publisher, that piece of writing could sit in an unnamed folder on their desktop for the rest of their life and we’d never get to see it. To publish a webcomic, you’re entirely at your own hands. Yes, there is still a lot of work to do, and your work still needs to be on point, but getting your business up and running is entirely within your own reach: you needn’t rely on anyone else. And because of this, we get to see all kinds of interesting, beautiful and, frankly, somewhat risky publications by way of webcomics. Jokes, characters and situations that might not pass muster with a review panel prior to publishing are all free game for webcomic creators. Whether artists choose to publish the more risky comics is entirely their decision to make. If you’re looking for something new to read, and the price is right, give webcomics a go. A side effect of the publication system being the way it is, it can

be a bit overwhelming to try and find a comic you like. There are classic comic-style webcomics like XKCD, Cyanide and Happiness, and SMBC, which offer panel-style humour that is usually relevant, current, at most times a bit risqué, and always funny. If you lean more towards the graphic novel-style, which uses art to tell a coherent, multiepisode story, I’d encourage you towards a new (to me) comic called Stand Still Stay Silent. It’s a comic set in the Scandinavian countries and, as such, there are often translation inconsistencies that take a moment to figure out. Once you get past that, though, it has a wonderful, fantastical story, and an amazing art style. Take a chance and start building your own personal library of webcomics to catch up on and follow. Not only does it get you something new to entertain yourself for the low, low price of free, you’ll be supporting talented, clever artists just by visiting their pages. Who knows, if you have some artistic talent, you might find yourself in their shoes some day soon.

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Issue 176.2 • Thursday, January 15, 2015

ARTS & CULTURE

The Weekly Scene: Somm (2012) 3 Talentedhardworkingambitioussommeliers out of 4 SAMEER CHHABRA There’s no small amount of fiction in the belief that hard-work produces results. Working hard, dedicating time, and putting effort into any task will eventually lead to some kind of success in any given field. Malcolm Gladwell published the 10,000 hour figure, claiming that mastery and expertise is most often attained after devoting roughly 10,000 hours to practising a skill. That’s almost 417 days of practice, assuming a person never stops practising to eat, sleep, or carry out any number of necessary

functions. Jiro Ono, of Jiro Dreams of Sushi fame, would echo Gladwell’s statistic. To Jiro, once a person picks a profession, they should never complain and they must work their hardest to achieve complete mastery and success. Of course, there are many who would disagree with Ono and Gladwell. Some people are simply not suited to succeed, regardless of how hard they work. Desire works alongside dedication, and the greatest success only really comes from those who want to succeed. I discuss the rigours of success because understanding Somm’s narrative requires removing any modern notion of success and endeavour from one’s mind. To truly appreciate Somm – to truly understand its subjects – an individual must accept that dedicating one’s entire life to an appreciation of wine is a reasonable pursuit. As we follow the four subjects

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who hope to enter the pantheon reserved only for the finest admirers of wine, we must recognize that these are people who have devoted their entire lives to wine. Love, marriage, and family all take a backseat to the mere possibility – the single, solitary iota of potential – that Somm’s subjects will succeed and become Master Sommeliers. Director Jason Wise’s subjects are fully aware of the preposterous nature of their dedication. These are men who show the kind of mind saved only for the greatest thinkers. Had they applied themselves as rigorously to politics as to wine, they could have been revolutionary leaders. Instead, they’ve dedicated themselves to the art of wine – to the business of perfect service. Jason Wise’s film is not about wine – that description is not only technically inaccurate, it’s an insult to the people whose lives are truly dedicated to the drink. Instead, Wise’s film is about dedication, hard-work, determination, and a completely single-minded desire to succeed. There is much to be learned from the four men who we follow. Most important of all: work hard, study hard, and use every free moment to hone your craft and fulfil your passions. As a result, Somm is heartbreaking. Watching the movie, I was reminded of how I gave up playing piano because I wasn’t interested in

the keys; I was reminded of all of the times I tried a new hobby, only to stop because of boredom, or disinterest. Wise is not interested in lecturing his audience, however. Through talking heads with Master Sommeliers, his subjects, the families of his subjects, and expert vintners, Wise’s goal is simply to chronicle the struggle associated with the seemingly impossible Master Sommelier Exam. The test takes places over three

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days and consists of a tasting, theory, and service component. We can bet on an applicant’s ability to succeed in theory and service, the films says. The tasting component, however, is a rigorous 25-minute test where an applicant must

correctly describe and identify three red and three white wines to a panel of certified Master Sommelier experts. If this sounds absurd, the film reminds us that the test truly is preposterous. Few successfully certified applicants achieve a perfect score – fewer unsuccessful applicants score on tasting at all. The film carries a resounding amount of reverence for its subject matter. There’s no small amount of irony then, when almost every expert denounces the exam as insane. We’re constantly reminded that this is a test designed to gauge mastery over a single beverage. Anyone dedicated enough to dream of becoming a Master Sommelier must have equal parts desire and disorder. Strong as Wise’s film may be, his directing leaves much to be desired. Shots are captured using a mix of handicam and low quality DSLR videography, while lighting and cinematography leaves sequences either over- or underexposed. Rarely are shots visually stimulating, and rarely does the film’s editing rise beyond the level of a low-quality TV documentary. The film’s production will win few awards and garner little praise. Of course, it is clear that this is not a film that is meant to be stylistically powerful. Somm is a portrait of perfectly calculated, single-minded dedication. In short, it is a film about insanity.

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RYAN PRIDDLE GUELPH COMEDY FESTIVAL To ring in the New Year and the winter semester, Guelph-based comedy and improv group The Making-Box hosted an evening of stand-up comedy, a hypnotist set by Jeff West (who has performed at the past three Orientation Weeks), and other collaborative activities, all with a playful carnival theme. Throughout the evening, students were treated to a blend of stand-up comedy and improv, with The Making-Box funny people improvising off of tales spun by the stand-up comics. With treats, laughs, and fun about, the “Comedy on Campus” carnival was a great way to shake off some of those winter blues.

ARTS & CULTURE

Deep Tech: Britain’s new dance craze A distinctly British take on house music liberates the genre from its soul-disco roots CADEN MCCANN

In a darkly lit club, a mass of dancers skip and bounce to an off-beat cymbal, synthesized bassline, and pitch-shifted vocal repeatedly beckoning “Let’s get together.” This isn’t Chicago 1985, but London 2015, and the dance isn’t the Jack but rather the shuffle. The track is “Let’s Get 2gether,” by DJ Haus, and an example of Deep Tech – a new distinctly British strain of house music which shifts away from the genre’s disco roots, while incorporating elements of dubstep, grime, and jungle. The origins of Deep Tech trace back

to around 2009, when DJs at London clubs had returned to spinning Deep House records after clubbers had grown tired of the then-heavily in rotation genre of UK funky. With labels like the influential Audio Rehab emerging around 2012, DJs began to spin a new style of House which departed from the genre’s soul-disco roots and had a more heavy and basscentric sound. In the few years since, the genre has grown out of its original Afro-British milieu to become the dominant sound of London’s underground dance music scene.

Though still in its infancy, the scene has already had some flirtations with the mainstream. In January 2013, hipster media conglomerate Vice published a piece on shuffle dancing, and, at the end of 2014, Manchesterbased newspaper The Guardian wrote a lengthy piece spotlighting the scene and looking at its origins. Deep Tech remixes of popular songs have even started to get lots of traffic on the internet, one example being X5 Dubs’ “Drunk in Love” – which samples the “Woke up in the kitchen sayin’ how the hell did this shit happen” refrain

from the Beyonce hit, and stretches it into a tantric eternity complete with cascading drums and wobbling bass. As a cultural center, London has long positioned itself at the forefront of dance music. From the DIY electro-disco of early House, to the reggae-tinged rush of Jungle, to the party-hearty bass drops of Dubstep, the English capital has both popularized and originated many once-vanguard electronica genres. Now with the advent of Deep Tech, the city once again finds itself on clubbing’s cutting edge.

Review: D’Angelo and the Vanguard – Black Messiah Outstanding new record by elusive neosoul icon ADRIEN POTVIN When D’Angelo (Michael Eugene Archer) left the music scene after the release of 2000’s Voodoo, for reasons both personal and very public, fans anxiously awaited his return with doubts that he would in the first place. Though he had appeared on

numerous features, such as J Dilla’s The Shining and Q-Tip’s The Renaissance, to name a few, he had largely stayed out of the public eye until the past few years. Initially slated for a January release, and dropped early (Dec. 15) to stay relevant to the controversial rulings on the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner later in 2014, Black Messiah is a culminating project of sorts. D’Angelo truly did take most of his 14-year hiatus to write, arrange, and record the album, with the help of Questlove (The Roots), Q-Tip (A Tribe Called Quest), and session bassist Pino Palladino, among others. And it shows. It really shows.

Album of the Week

“I’m talking about the Jesus of the Bible, with hair like lamb’s wool! I’m talking about that good hair! I’m talking about that nappy hair!” a preacher hollers in a sample on the second track, “1000 Deaths.” This urgency, in tandem with the chaotic grit-funk of the track’s instrumental texture (also found in the tracks “Prayer” and “Ain’t That Easy”) is made all the more jarring by D’Angelo’s decision to release the album in the wake of the rulings on the deaths of Brown and Garner. This album is so now, it’s almost painful. But that’s what D’Angelo and co. want us to feel. Its aesthetic is indeed rooted in the past successes of

landmarks such as Sly and the Family Stone’s There’s a Riot Goin’ On, Miles Davis’ On the Corner, and Prince’s Sign O’ The Times. Its urgency is relevant, but never overbearing – you can dance your ass off and ponder its context at more or less the same time. At the album’s centre, the upbeat and cheerful “Sugah Daddy” and the sombre, sexy “Really Love,” are where D’Angelo wears his stirring emotional state on his sleeve the most clearly. Juxtaposing soulful, sensitive musical and lyrical material with a more brazen, ferocious vein of funk and soul is a characteristic of the album that carries its weight

– the whole thing balances frustration and elation with impeccably tasteful musicianship, and is produced with a masterful ear and an empathetic heart. Any way you look at it – for its social relevance, breathtaking orchestration, or what have you – Black Messiah is one of the finest, strongest albums of 2014, and probably the rest of the decade. It encapsulates something important, personal, political, and darkly beautiful. Happiness and lament are a product of the same mind, and D’Angelo urges us to consolidate this – for the betterment of ourselves and the social contexts we find ourselves in.

Upcoming events Jan. 17: Guelph Poetry Slam Finals Night ft. singer-songwriter Nefe. 7 to 10 p.m. at Guelph Youth Music Centre. $15 advance, $20 at the door Jan. 17: Reconstructing Historical Narratives: A Conversation about Residential Schools and their impact on Indigenous People. 3 p.m. in UC room 442. Free event. Are you passionate about community engagement? Student Volunteer Connections is hiring for Lead Coordinator! Paid position. Applications accepted until January 18 at 11:59 p.m.. Details at http://bit.ly/1ysTcOK

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Death Cab for Cutie, Narrow Stairs (2008) In honour of the announcement of Death Cab’s upcoming album, Kintsugi, I’m recommending my personal favourite of the band’s seven previous albums. Though probably not the most popular or critically acclaimed of their previous work, Narrow Stairs is home to several powerful songs, like “Bixby Canyon Bridge,” “No Sunlight,” “You Can Do Better Than Me,” and “The Ice is Getting Thinner.” This is not necessarily a happy album – it’s definitely not evocative of the Ben-Gibbard-married-to-Zooey-Deschanel period – but it’s full of slow, smooth ballads to get you through the crappy grey days ahead.

think of yourself as a critic? Put your opinions to the test and volunteer for the Ontarion’s Arts & Culture section. You’ll get to Have your opinions on death metal vs. taylor swift read all over campus!

Issue 176.2 • Thursday, January 15, 2015

SPORTS & HEALTH

Mental health & wellness Winter blues Combating the effects of a Canadian winter DANIELLE SUBJECT The term “winter blues” is commonly used to describe the lack of motivation people begin to feel as winter progresses. My mom refers to feelings of sadness in January as a “turkey coma,” an extension of the “blah” feeling you get in January after eating excessive amounts of turkey over the holidays. However, there’s actually a clinical term for “winter blues” or “turkey coma.” Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), is a type of depression that occurs during a shift in seasons. Although the specific cause is still being studied, researchers commonly attribute the cause to a change in vitamin D exposure. According to research, SAD is most commonly related to changes in melatonin levels in the body, which is triggered by changes in sunlight exposure. SAD is most commonly experienced in the winter season, as sunlight becomes scarce, but can also be experienced during late spring or early summer. Research found that symptoms of SAD are mostly found amongst those living in northern climates. Our bodies are delicately connected to nature, hence why it makes sense that changes in our natural environmental trigger changes within our bodies. Melatonin – the drug our bodies produce to make us sleep – is synthesized in our bodies in darkness. When we rise in the morning, the sunlight signals our bodies to stop producing melatonin so that we may wake up. This is why on a rainy day, we tend to be slower to wake up in the morning and may feel groggy or lazy throughout the day (most commonly described as feelings of “blah”). Now, during the winter months, we Canadians may go days and days without sunlight. This makes it more difficult for our bodies to wake up in the morning, which results in a lack of motivation and sadness. Throw these feelings together, and you tend to get underlying feelings, such as low confidence, high self-consciousness, and increased feelings of loneliness or hopelessness. Who knew the sun could have such an effect on us?

Symptoms of seasonal affective disorder can have a much stronger and more detrimental impact on those who already suffer from mental illness, those who have experienced a traumatic event, or those who have struggled with feelings of loneliness. If you are an exchange student you may be at risk of experiencing symptoms of seasonal affective disorder – especially if you have travelled from a warmer climate, are not used to long winters, and have already been experiencing feelings of homesickness. If you think winter weather has been weighing you down, there are some proactive things you can do! Trick your body. A great and unique way to combat the winter blues is by buying a sunlamp. And I’m not talking about the lamps that are used at tanning salons. You can buy certain desk lamps that are purposely designed to combat winter blues by emitting strong and warm light. You can purchase these lamps at Walmart, and all you have to do is take some time out of your day to sit under the lamp with your eyes closed, and trick your body into thinking it’s sunlight. If you already have a really bright desk lamp that tends to get hot, that will probably work. However, read the fine print on these things – there are a lot of sunlamps that emit UV rays, which hold a lot of health risks and are not necessary for this exercise. Taking vitamin D supplements is another way to fight symptoms of SAD. Vitamin D is what we absorb from the sun, and it’s easy to suffer from vitamin D deficiency in the winter months. Always talk to your doctor first before taking supplements. Stay active. It’s easier said than done, right? You don’t have to jump into an intense workout routine or try to acquire rock-hard abs by the spring. Be more realistic – go for walks, do stretches throughout the day, stand up and touch your toes after sitting at your computer for an hour, maybe join an intramural team or fitness class. Try some yoga. Do something to get your blood flowing. Finally, it doesn’t hurt to talk to someone. The University of Guelph offers counseling services to all students – take advantage of this! Talking to someone is one of the most therapeutic ways to overcome sadness, and opening up about these obstacles to a trained counselor can help you manage and control these feelings. Having great friends to talk to is also an option!

Stef’s Fitness Corner

Squats Step one: Stand with your feet slightly past your hips, back straight, and shoulders down.

Step three: Rise back up slowly to starting position.

Lunges Step one: Stand with your feet shoulder’s width apart, spine long and straight, shoulders back, looking forward.

Step three: Step back to resume starting position. Remember to keep your weight on your heels as you push back up.

Step two: Keeping your back straight, lower your body down and back as if sitting on a chair until your thighs are parallel to the ground (or as close as possible).

Step four: Repeat.

Step two: Step forward while maintaining a straight back. Lower your hips until both knees are bent at approximately a 90 degree angle.

Step four: Step forward with your other leg and repeat. A suggested set would be ten lunges for both your left and right leg to total for 20.

SPORTS & HEALTH

Best moments of 2015 World Junior Championship Recounting some of the top moments of the competition

Slovakia topples Sweden Despite their loss to Canada in the semi-final game, Slovakia upset the Swedes as the underdogs in the bronze medal match with a 4-2 victory, capturing their second ever medal at the World Junior Championships. Slovakia won their first medal in 1999, taking bronze at the tournament in Winnipeg.

MACKENZIE MILTON Canada ends medal drought After a two year no-medal drought, and five years without the gold, Canada capped off the 2015 tournament as gold-medal champions on home ice. Having placed fourth in both the 2013 and 2014 World Championships, Canadians were eager to get back on top. With a nail biting victory over Russia, Canada captured their first gold medal since 2009, having only placed three times in the past five tournament showings.

Max Domi

MATT GARIES VIA CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Nick Ritchie hits the ice.

was voted tournament MVP by the media for his performance, and sparked a “Goalie! Goalie!” chant from the Canadian crowd when he was not chosen as Player of the Game in the semi-final loss to Canada. Canadians continued their support of the netminder when they captured the bronze, giving Godla a loud and deserving standing ovation.

“...Canada captured their first gold medal since 2009...”

Denis Godla: The Slovakian Prodigy Team Slovakia was not slated to make headlines, however, as the tournament progressed, goaltender Denis Godla was absolutely impeccable, keeping his team in the running for a medal. Godla

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In a tournament that featured rivalries reignited, Team Canada went undefeated to sit atop of the world in the sport of hockey once again.

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Russia, Canada rivalry reignited Canada and Russia have a long, heated history within the world of hockey. Having lost to the Russians in three of the last five showings (two for Bronze, and one for Gold), Canada faced their old enemies looking for blood, prompting Russia to pull their all-star goalie after two goals on three shots. With tempers rising on both sides, Canada was ahead 5-1 before the end of the middle frame. However, as history has shown, the Russians are never down and out, as they brought the game within one by the end of the second. Canada ultimately held out the Russian onslaught and secured the victory.

Before the start of the tournament, Canada had high expectations for Max Domi, son of former Maple Leafs player, Tie Domi. The only way to describe Domi’s performance throughout the tournament is electrifying. Whenever he got the puck, there was always a sense of anticipation. Domi finished the tournament with five goals and five assists in seven games. For his performance, the Arizona Coyotes prospect was named Best Forward by the Directorate, and was selected by the media as a forward for the tournament All-Star team.

S.YUME VIA CC BY 2.0

Canadian fans going wild.

Denmark Strikes In a shootout victory against Switzerland, Denmark seizes their first ever victory in the World Juniors, having been defeated in their last 15 tournament appearances. Denmark participated in the 2008 and 2012 World Junior Championships but failed to gain a point in both appearances. This Danish team won the heart of Canadians, earning a standing ovation of their own following Denmark’s loss to Canada in the quarterfinals. Following the loss, Team Canada allowed for Denmark to salute the crowd first, thanking Canadians for the support.

One of the biggest moments of the World Juniors tournament was the Canadian crowd. Lit up with black, red, and white, the crowd was an experience within itself. The Air Canada Centre and the Bell Centre both filled with patriotic fans watching their respective nations battle on the ice. In the semi-final and gold medal final, the ACC crowd erupted whenever Canada stepped onto the ice. When Canada battled the Godly Godla, the crowd was roaring “Goalie! Goalie! Goalie!” to salute the Slovak goalie’s outstanding performance. And finally, in the gold medal game, the 19,000 fans in the ACC erupted, creating one of the most memorable games for Team Canada in the World Juniors tournament history. Canada and U.S showdown Even though these two rivals only met in the group stages of the tournament, it easily felt like a goldmedal game. The hyped matchup between Canada and the U.S made headlines across the nation. Team Canada played with great energy and dictated the pace of the gamewhich proved to be too high for the U.S. With great performances by Sam Reinhart and Captain Curtis Lazar, Canada took the game with a 5-3 victory.

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Issue 176.2 • Thursday, January 15, 2015

SPORTS & HEALTH

2015 World Juniors: Witnessing gold The World Junior Championships – a golden tradition, for so much more STEPHANIE CORATTI I’ve had a fair share of heartbreaks – a just fact for most sports fans (and those who tell you different are either lying, or people who wear Los Angeles Kings hats). The experience doesn’t make the next one any easier to digest. It still hurts, arguably just as bad – or more – than the one before. The heartbreaks usually outnumber the euphoric victories, too. To put it simply, if you choose to sign your name along the dotted line of that fan-contract, disappointments won’t be unfamiliar.

“It was five years, and a 60-minute hockey game that felt like both 60-seconds and 60-days.” Through that disappointment though, you will still set your alarm (or rather, multiple alarms) for three and four in the morning to drag yourself out of bed to watch Team Canada play across the world. You’ll do it every morning of the World Junior Championship, even the morning where you are forced to watch as they place fourth in the tournament – losing out on a bronze medal – for the second consecutive year. You’ll do it because that’s what you’ve grown up doing. You’ll do it because it’s tradition. December 26: the beginning of the World Junior Championships. That’s my Christmas. Early mornings, the classic Canada versus the United States New Years Eve match-up, and the unpredictability that is promised almost annually in a welcomed underdog – that’s tradition.

Despite Canada’s two-year medal drought, and five-year gold-less skid, my best friend and I purchased the Toronto package for the 2015 tournament a year in advance. We were ready. Even then, however, I don’t think we fully recognized the magnitude of what we signed up for. We sat in the definition of nosebleed seats, partaking in continuous waves that began in the lower bowl of the Air Canada Centre (I would pay to see that happen at Leafs games), watching rivalries in the stands unfold (witnessing a Russian slap a Canadian during a game that featured neither country), all while absorbing why this tournament has such a grasp on us. That grasp comes from watching Denmark win – and celebrate – their second ever game in the history of the World Juniors; it comes from a young Slovakian goaltender receiving multiple standing ovations from a sold out Canadian crowd; it comes from the anticipation of seeing your country win gold at home. Although, that gold extends so much further than just the medal. It’s in the “Goalie!” chants that rang through the ACC when Denis Godla didn’t receive Player of the Game following Slovakia’s loss to Canada. It’s in the need for two empty net goals to solidify the win against the Americans on New Years Eve. It’s in giving Denmark a well-earned ovation for their efforts. It’s in the sea of red that erupted for the Slovakian underdog when they took bronze. It’s in the rendition of O’Canada that would be sung amongst the crowd before every Canadian game reached its finish (because even the best need a dress rehearsal). It’s in the final minutes of the gold medal game that felt like hours. It’s in holding your breath for much longer than you ever knew to be possible. It’s in jumping, yelling, and high fiving every stranger in sight because Canada did it – they held off the Russians. They captured gold on home ice. Sports are funny that way. We think we’re after that one thing, the trophy or the medal, and for the most part, we usually are. But we rarely recognize everything else along the way – everything that turns that glove throwing, bench jumping, gold medal winning moment into exactly what it is. Watching Team Canada reach the top of the world may have been a childhood dream of mine,

STEPHANIE CORATTI/THE ONTARION

Team Canada captured their first gold medal in five years at the 2015 World Junior Championship, and they did so on home ice in front of a sea of red.

TASHA FALCONER GRYPHONS’ SWIMMING Tasha Falconer, a member of the Guelph Gryphons swimming team, in action at the Guelph Swim Meet on Jan. 11.

a dream that I got to cross off the list as I belted out O’Canada louder than I have ever done before. Yet, witnessing gold was so much more. It was the anticipation. It was the unexpected. It was knowing the one alternative to being champions, and what that feels like. It was five years, and a 60-minute hockey game that felt like both 60-seconds and 60-days. It was the blur between seconds remaining and the fireworks erupting. Witnessing gold was indescribable.

Upcoming events

Jan. 15: Women’s hockey vs. Toronto Varsity Blues (7:30 p.m., Gryphon Centre) Jan. 16: The Frosty Mug: Men’s hockey vs. Brock Badgers (7:30 p.m., Sleeman Centre) Jan. 17: -Women’s hockey vs. Ryerson Rams (2 p.m., Gryphon Centre) -Wrestling: Guelph Open (W.F. Mitchell Athlete Centre) Jan. 20: RELAXATION & STRESS Management Skills Training. 12 session program to decrease anxiety, headaches, insomnia and muscle tension. 12 p.m. or 5:30 p.m. group. Details at selfregulationskills.ca

David J. Knight (Writer and University of Guelph Alumnus): These are dark days not just for Europe but also for Canada. Freedom of expression and the use of satyr in highlighting and countering relevant issues of our day wont be destroyed by thugs and criminals. Transparent discourse is the only way forward.

#JeSuis… 17 dead and several injured in the aftermath of attacks throughout Paris

Saba Safdar (Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Guelph): This morning (January 12th), I was struck by the image on the front page of the Toronto Star. It was a peculiar image. It was like an abstract painting with hundreds of dots and a white bulb in the centre. Something like Monet or Renoir’s work. The image was a photograph from Sunday’s rally at la Place de la Republique in Paris and was called “The French Resistance.” Those dots were people, thousands of them, coming together surrounding the enormous monument in the centre. Reportedly millions of people rallied in France on Sunday in support of Charlie Hebdo. Those dots were people from every ethnicity and religious group coming together in defiance. Perhaps many of these people hadn’t heard of Charlie Hebdo less than a week ago. Yet, now there are millions who know what it is. If terrorism aims to create fear, anxiety, chaos and at the same time to raise empathy for its beliefs and goals, it didn’t work this time. In Paris, when a Muslim girl carries a sign around her neck declaring “I am a Jew,” it signifies that those terrorists failed. When Jews, Christians, and Muslims walk peacefully next to each other holding “Je Suis Charlie” placards, then it is Charlie Hebdo who made its message heard and not the terrorists. This is worth celebrating despite the tragedy.

ALYSSA OTTEMA

Conner Hewson (student): It’s scary that this is what our world has come to.

Je suis...

On Wednesday, Jan. 7, two masked gunmen entered the offices of Charlie Hebdo, a satirical newspaper produced weekly in Paris, France. The men, now known to be Cherif and Said Kouachi, shot building caretaker Frederic Boisseau, 42, and forced cartoonist Corinne Rey to grant them access to the newsroom. Asking for Charlie Hebdo editor Stephane “Charb” Charbonnier, 47, the gunmen opened fire, killing the editor, his bodyguard, Franck Brinsolaro, seven journalists and cartoonists - Jean “Cabu” Cabut, 76, Bernard “Tignous” Verlhac, 57, Georges Wolinski, 80, and Phillipe Honore, 73, Elsa Cayat, 55, “Uncle” Bernard Maris, 68, and Mustapha Ourrad, 60 - and Michel Renaud, 70, a guest who was attending the editorial meeting. Witnesses reported that the gunmen, amidst calling the names of the slain journalists, shouted “We have avenged the Prophet Muhammad” and “God is Greatest” in Arabic. Leaving the building, the men opened fire on police officers blocking their escape. After doubling back to the police barricade, the gunmen shot and killed injured police officer Ahmed Merabet, 42, at close range. After escaping, the Kouachis’ car was found abandoned three kilometres north of the Charlie Hebdo offices, containing several Molotov cocktails and two jihadist flags. The Kouachi brothers then hijacked another vehicle and disappeared from police intelligence for the remainder for

the day. On Thursday, Jan. 8, a lone gunman shot two people in the south of Paris, killing policewoman Clarissa Jean-Phillipe, 27, and injuring a bystander. Initially dismissed as an unlinked event, the connection between this shooting and the attack on the Charlie Hebdo offices has been confirmed. Later that day, the Kouachi brothers robbed a service station in the Aisne region, armed with Kalashnikovs and grenade launchers to steal food and fuel. The brothers led police on a chase around northeastern France, during which Said Kouachi, 34, was hit in the neck in a shootout. Arrest warrants were issued for the two men, profiling the previous criminal activities and terrorist allegiances of Said and Cherif, 32. On Friday, Jan. 9, the Kouachi brothers were cornered 35 kilometres outside of Paris. Holed up in Creation Tendance Decouverte, a printing firm in Danmartinen-Goele, the suspects were surrounded by hundreds of police officers, as well as snipers, helicopters, and military forces. After an eight-hour standoff, the brothers emerged from the building, opening fire on the surrounding troops. Both Kouachi brothers were killed, and two police officers were injured in the incident. That same day, the lone gunman – later confirmed to be Amedy Coulibaly, 32 – who shot and killed Jean-Phillipe on Jan. 8, took several people hostage at a kosher supermarket in the east of Paris with his partner, Hayat Boumeddiene, 26. Coulibaly killed four men – Yohan Cohen, 22, who worked at the supermarket, Phillipe Braham, 45, Yoav Hattab, 21, and FrancoisMichel Saada, 64 – and threatened to kill his hostages unless the Kouachi brothers went free. Special forces moved on Coulibaly and Boumeddiene immediately following the death of Cherif and Said Kouachi, killing Coulibaly and freeing 15 hostages. Boumeddiene escaped and is still wanted

Chris Lamarre (student): It’s a travesty that people were murdered in cold blood.

Gregor Campbell (Associate Professor of English at the University of Guelph)

by the police, assumed to have fled France and travelled to Syria. Before his death, Coulibaly told French news network BFMTV that he had “synchronized” his attacks with those of the Kouachi brothers. “They started with Charlie Hebdo, and I started with the police,” Coulibaly said. Lassana Bathily, an employee at the market, has been lauded a hero for his bravery during the incident, guiding several hostages to the walk-in freezer in the basement of the market and instructing the people to remain calm. Bathily, a practicing Muslim originally from Mali, took the freight elevator out of the basement and ran out of the store. Apprehended by the surrounding forces, Bathily described the location of the freezer and helped police to extract several of the surviving 15 hostages. Although the connection between the attackers has been confirmed – Coulibaly and Cherif Kouachi met in prison in the south of France 10 years ago, falling under the influence of jihadist Djamel Beghal - the motives behind stack up to be more diverse. Cherif and Said Koachi declared themselves to be allegiant to the militant group Al Qaeda in Yemen, while Coulibaly, in a video released by French media outlets after his death, declared his allegiance to the Islamic State (ISIS). It remains unclear, however, whether either terrorist organization had any involvement in the attacks throughout Paris. Response to the incidents in Paris from around the world has been both unified, in support of the protection of free speech, and varied, in terms of how that support is presented. France, in light of the attacks, has mobilized 10,000 troops to increase security across the country. The hashtag #JeSuisCharlie (I am Charlie) has become popular on various social media sites, with millions around the world uniting in support of free expression. Nearly four million people took to the streets on Sunday, Jan. 11, with almost two million gathered in Paris alone, to march and rally in

support of the freedom of expression and in memory of the 17 victims of the previous week’s attacks. In the immediate wake of the attack on the Charlie Hebdo offices, however, several mosques around the city were attacked, sparking tension between the French Muslim community and those gathering in support of the #JeSuisCharlie movement. Those who stand in opposition to this movement, uniting under the flag #JeNeSuisPasCharlie (I am not Charlie), are not necessarily in support of violence, nor of eradicating freedom of expression, but rather refuse to take part in a global movement which rests on the backs of those who “insulted the Prophet Muhammad.” Particular support has rallied around remembering the police officer shot outside the Charlie Hebdo offices, Ahmed Merabet, who was a practicing Muslim. The hashtag #JeSuisAhmed (I am Ahmed) has circulated social media sites, often accompanied by a poignant Evelyn Beatrice Hall quote: “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” The hashtag #JeSuisJuif (I am Jewish) has also been prominent in social media, garnering support and attention following the Jan. 9 attack on the kosher supermarket. Several media outlets across the globe began to reprint Charlie Hebdo cartoons to show solidarity with their dedication to the freedom of expression. Others, like The New York Times, The CBC, and The Globe and Mail have abstained, not because of a lack of solidarity but because of their right to “defend Charlie Hebdo without embracing and endorsing everything the satirical newspaper ever did.” “The right of Charlie Hebdo, and all the Charlie Hebdos of the world, to publish provocative, offensive, satirical cartoons must be backed without reservation,” wrote a Globe and Mail editor in an editorial published Sunday, Jan. 11. “But so too must the right of [others] to make different choices.”

Stephan Karis (student): These gutless acts of terrorism need to stop.

Ron Shuebrooke (Founder of the School of Fine Arts and Music): I am profoundly saddened by these devastating murders as well as by all of the other tragic events that have taken place in recent months around the world – that seem to be the result of a persistent intolerance and disrespect of the values, beliefs, and dignity of other humans. May we somehow find a way to realize that we all have more in common than we have differences!

We want to celebrate the freedom of the press and the larger freedom of expression in liberal democracy, but hate laws are a necessary restriction on exactly this freedom. Many are accusing the press of lacking nerve for choosing not to reproduce the Charlie Hebdo cartoons, but I have seen them and am willing to make the call that they are racist and homophobic. In my own teaching experience, I have had Polish students express hurt at the depiction of Poles as pigs in Art Spiegeleman’s “Maus” and I’m not sure if one kind of racism is necessary in order to fight another kind of racism. I know that the Charlie Hebdo cartoonists lived knowing the risks they were taking, and I feel strongly for the two policemen who died trying to protect them. It was thrilling to see the images of people taking to the streets of Paris on Sunday to reclaim the revolutionary joy of that city. I think of all the crimes against human freedom that we have recently witnessed: the police murders of Michael Brown and Eric Garner in the US, 135 schoolchildren massacred in Peshawar, 40 students murdered in Mexico, ISIS executions of journalists across the Middle East. I do not want to forget the three thousand or so victims of the illegal US drone strikes in Pakistan and Yemen, or the terror suspects brutally tortured and murdered by the CIA at top-secret detention centres. When Martin Luther King was assassinated in 1968 the non-violent US Civil Rights Movement effectively came to an end. When it began back in 1955 during the Montgomery bus boycott, King had the courage to say that “if we are wrong, God Almighty is wrong…if we are wrong, justice is a lie.” We need to resume this struggle and find something to believe in beyond racism, beyond homophobia, beyond hatred, beyond violence.

SPORTS & HEALTH

Gryphons win big against RMC Gryphons score seven unanswered first period goals in 11-1 blowout victory CONNOR HEWSON After being stymied offensively in a 5-2 home loss to the Carleton Ravens on Jan. 9, the Guelph Gryphons men’s hockey team responded with a bang in their next game against the Royal Military College Paladins (RMC); they scored seven unanswered first period goals en route to a landslide, and season high, 11-1 victory at the Gryphon Center on Jan. 10. With the win, which was seemingly all Guelph from the moment the puck dropped, the Gryphons improved to 5-11-3 on the 2014-15 season, while the loss kept RMC winless with a 0-16-2 record. Kyle Neuber, a 2009 draft selection of the Columbus Blue Jackets, opened the scoring for the Gryphons with a cheeky forehand deke that fooled RMC goaltender Evan Deviller a minute-and-a-half into the contest. Deviller, who despite the end score played a deceivingly strong game, made 39 saves – many of which were of the highlight variety – throughout

RYAN PRIDDLE

The Guelph Gryphons men’s hockey team downed the Royal Military College Paladins (RMC) 11-1 on Jan. 10 at the Gryphon Centre. Sixteen different Gryphons registered a point, including No. 51 Robert De Fulviis (pictured) scoring a goal and adding two assists in the victory. the match-up. Len Fabbri would then double the Gryphons’ lead a minuteand-a-half later, slamming the puck home off a scrambled play in front of the RMC net for his second of the year and a 2-0 home score. RMC struggled defensively throughout the game – specifically during the first period, making several careless plays in their defensive zone that led directly to turnovers, giving

up many odd man rushes for the Gryphons. Six-and-a-half minutes into the first frame, Neuber would score his second of the game, and sixth of the season, to give Guelph a 3-0 lead. This was soon followed by rookie forward Seth Swanson’s second of the year, who banged home a nice cross-crease pass by third year center Nicklas Huard for the 4-0 home lead.

The Gryphons weren’t done there though, with third-year winger Jordan Mock getting in on the action with his fifth of the season and first of two on the evening, ringing a wrist shot off the cross bar and in, to bring the lead to 5-0, and the game into blowout territory. 30 seconds later, Trevor Morbeck would add his own tally to make it 6-0, snapping home a wrister off an

First new antibiotic discovered in 30 years Bacteria found in soil can fight against infections like MRSA SAMEER CHHABRA Antibiotics are antimicrobials used specifically to fight against bacteria. Commonly used to treat diseases as a result of bacterial infections, antibiotics are one of modern medicines last stands against harmful, diseaseinducing bacteria. After almost 30 years, medicine has a new antimicrobial candidate. A research team led by Kim Lewis, from Northeastern University, published a paper in the journal Nature detailing the discovery of a new antibiotic the team has named teixobactin. The study was accepted on

Nov. 19, 2014, and was published on Jan. 7, 2015. Teixobactin has shown to be especially effective against the treatment of Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (commonly known as MRSA) and tuberculosis. However, the team led by Lewis believes that teixobactin can be used to combat a range of other bacteria, as “the properties of this compound suggest a path towards developing antibiotics that are likely to avoid development of resistance.” Most bacteria are difficult or impossible to culture in a laboratory setting; however, Lewis and her team utilized a method that enabled them to culture approximately 50 per cent of soil sample microbes in a lab. The team used a device called an iChip to accomplish this feat. An iChip works by storing individual bacterial cells into single chambers. The chambers are then buried in soil, and essential environmental molecules are able to

diffuse into the chambers in order to aid in the growth of bacterial cultures. Using the iChip, Lewis and her team were able to test over 10,000 samples. 25 of these samples were successful antibiotic candidates, while teixobactin was the most successful and most promising candidate. “I don’t believe there’s such a thing as an irresistible antibiotic,” said Gerard Wright, an uninvolved biochemist at McMaster University in an interview with Nature News. “But I do believe that certain antibiotics have a low frequency of resistance.” Unlike other antibiotics that act by attacking bacterial proteins, teixobactin attacks fatty lipids on bacterial cell walls. This results in damaged bacteria that are unable to mutate in order to develop resistance. In mice tests, teixobactin was able to eliminate all instances of MRSA and tuberculosis.

However, Lewis and her team are quick to point out that teixobactin is relatively ineffective against Gram-negative bacteria. Using the iChip, however, it might be possible to act against Gram-negative bacteria in the future. The Lewis team is also quick to mention that more research is needed before research can move on to human tests, while even more tests will be necessary before teixobactin can be massproduced for the general public. As humanity quickly approaches a post-antibiotic world, Lewis and her team’s efforts to understand and combat bacteria is a necessary step in the advancement of both medicine and the human species. “Whether this iChip approach is going to ultimately turn out to be better is yet to be determined,” said Barry Eisenstein, senior vicepresident of scientific affairs at Cubist Pharmaceuticals, in an interview with Nature News. “But they’re off to a great start.”

aforementioned odd man rush for his third of the campaign in which RMC goaltender Deviller had no chance. The Gyphons would add one more to their colossal lead before the end of the opening period, with Ryan Strand converting off a rebound in front of the RMC net to put the Gryphons up a touchdown heading into the second. Giving up seven unanswered goals seemed to give RMC a much needed kick in the pants coming into the second period, as they seemed to tighten up defensively, and gave up only one goal during the period – Fabbri’s second of the game – despite being outshot 17-5 by the Gryphons. Fabbri would finish with a season high five points on the night. Gryphon goaltender Andrew D’Agostini had himself a strong period as well, and although he may not have been as busy as his counterpart across the rink, most of the five saves he had to make were prime scoring chances – including an acrobatic chest save off an RMC two-on-one rush with only a minute left to play in the period. The Gryphons would add three more tallies in the third with goals from Robert De Fulvis, Huard, and Jordan Mock, capping off the huge night for the Gryphon offence. Guelph will play next on Jan. 16 in what is the sixth edition of “The Frosty Mug,” where they will be hosting the Brock Badgers at the Sleeman Centre in front of their biggest home crowd of the year.

Do you like sports other than hockey? Want to write about them? Or take photos? We are always looking for more volunteers for our sports section.

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Issue 176.2 • Thursday, January 15, 2015

Science Avenue: Exoplanets

LIFE At the centre of our solar system, and countless other solar systems, is a single galactic body – a star for all planets to revolve around. Exoplanets – otherwise known as extrasolar planets – are planets that orbit around any star that is not our native sun. How do exoplanets work?

LUCA ARGALIA VIA CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Further studying exoplanets may lead to humanity’s first interplanetary handshake.

A trip to the worlds beyond our star

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SAMEER CHHABRA What are Exoplanets? Since the moment we’ve been able to stand on two legs, we’ve looked to the stars and wondered what lies above our heads. We’ve imagined the possibilities and dreamt of worlds beyond our reach. As our understanding of astronomy expanded, our collective desire to touch the sky was aided by the growing knowledge of our universe. Whereas our ancestors looked to the stars and wondered about their place in the universe, today we have a rough understanding of who we are. We are the human species, floating on a cosmic speck of dust light years away from even the centre of our own galaxy. However, our universal address line includes an important point of interest – The Sun. Our entire understanding of the galaxy – indeed, the universe – hinges on the importance of our sun and our solar system.

What makes exoplanets fascinating is not the fact that they exist, but the method behind their creation. Our own planet Earth was created from an innumerable series of cosmic coincidences. One gravitational tug here, a gravitational pull there, and Earth as-we-know-it would not exist. Within the scope of the universe, however, planets are not difficult to make. All it takes is a tremendous concentration of cosmic dust – normally a combination of a variety of elements – and gravity. Atomic forces and the force of gravity work in conjunction to form stars, and the massive gravity exerted by stars eventually results in the formation of a solar system. Exoplanets – indeed, all planets – are formed through the same universal forces that created the planets in our own solar system.

“...exoplanets are important because they eliminate a certain amount of human arrogance.” Why are exoplanets important? The question quickly becomes: if all it takes to form an exoplanet is cosmic coincidence, why is the presence of a planet outside our solar system so important? As always, adding to the expansive encyclopedia of

human knowledge is the reason most people think exoplanets are important. As a species, we want to know everything there is to know about our universe, and adding exoplanets to the checklist is an absolute necessity. However, exoplanets are also important for a variety of other scientific reasons. Our Earth is the only planet in a solar system of – now – eight other planets that is perfectly suited for life; studying exoplanets allows us to learn more about what makes Earth so special – in order to understand how we are able to exist. Recently, NASA’s Kepler mission catalogued its 1000 exoplanet. The Kepler mission catalogues exoplanets existing in their solar system’s habitable zone – an area of space calculated to support life based on Earth’s own cosmic geometry. Most researchers involved with the project explain that Kepler’s existence enables us to answer the ultimate question: are we alone in the universe? Frankly, I believe that exoplanets are important because they eliminate a certain amount of human arrogance. For millennia we’ve believed that we’re the centre of a Universe almost 13.8 billion years-old, and the existence of any other planet proves that Earth is not special. This is both terrifying and exhilarating. What is the future of exoplanets? There is a future where we colonize other planets. There is a future where we’ll be able to visit other worlds instead of other countries. There is a future where our descendants will look to the stars as a piece of galactic cartography – where 20-year-olds hitchhike across the galaxy instead of hitchhiking across Europe. As always, I look forward to the truly absurd possibilities. The Kepler mission recently discovered two planets that bear the closest resemblances to Earth that our species has ever found. We will eventually find life on other planets, and perhaps Kepler438b is where the human species will engage in our first cosmic handshake.

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LIFE

Simply authentic: diary of a local foodie Building healthy and delicious bowls EMILY JONES In recent months, my partner and I have decided to have veggie days and veggie weeks – weeks that we eliminate meat from out diets – to feel healthier, to make preparing for meals simpler, and to explore different kinds of cuisine. As a regular browser of Pinterest and food blogs, I reached the realization that many bowls are not only loaded with nutrients, but are also equally delicious. Bowls can be made with solely vegetarian or vegan ingredients, and are equally satisfying when adding lean meats to the mix. This week, I am going to share two different ideas with you that are both satisfying and healthy. First, there is our go-to lunch bowl. It’s quick, simple, and healthy as can be. Let’s call this a superfood bowl. It consists of one-half cup cooked brown rice, one small sweet potato, sliced, and two cups of kale lightly sautéed

with garlic and a drizzle of olive oil. I make a dressing for this bowl out of two tablespoons of olive oil, the juice of one-half a lemon, one clove of garlic, one teaspoon of golden flax seeds, and a little salt and pepper. The second bowl I’d like to share with you is one that a couple of friends and I made last week for lunch – let’s call it the chicken avocado bowl. The base was a long-grain rice, that had a deep purple hue, which we topped with baked chicken breast, sautéed kale, fresh grape tomatoes, chopped red onion, and cubes of fresh avocado. I made a similar dressing for this bowl, just without the flax seeds. The result was incredible; the mixture of hot and cold ingredients was pleasantly pleasing to our palates. To accompany our meals, we served herbal teas and water. Both of these bowls are filled with ingredients I would normally use to make meals, but combining them together is a welcomed development to my weekly meal preparation and planning. I highly recommend trying out different flavour combinations as well as a mixture between hot and cold foods. It’s a lunch decision you won’t soon regret!

WENDY SHEPHERD

Seen above: the finished product of the “Chicken Avocado Bowl.” It was simply delicious! Shopping list: Superfood Bowl

-Brown rice -Sweet potato -Kale -Garlic -Lemon -Flax seeds -Olive oil

Shopping list: Chicken Avocado Bowl

-Wild rice -Kale -Chicken breast -Grape Tomatoes -Avocado

-Red onion -Garlic -Lemon -Olive oil

You’ve probably seen this on Pinterest Effective studying and organization tips for a new semester ALYSSA OTTEMA At the beginning of a new semester, I am the best student. I do all of my readings, I input all of my due dates, and I begin to plan out all of my assignments. Two or three weeks into the new semester, however, my work ethic just goes out the window. Between classes, several part-time jobs, trying to exercise and keep healthy, and attempting to maintain some semblance of my sanity, I just run out of time to be an organized and effective human being. If you’re anything like me, you could probably benefit from some tips and tricks to keep yourself organized and on track, both in the classroom and out, as the school year wears on.

Suck it up and use a real planner. Some people are really effective at using iCalendar or Google Calendar. I have yet to become one of these people, but no matter what format you use, get in the habit of using a planner to track your assignments, your readings, and your other appointments. Try to find something that has a monthly, weekly, and daily view available, so that you’re not finding out about your 30 per cent paper the week (or day) before it is due. If you’re feeling ambitious, create your own planner with free templates from the Internet. Plan your week out on Sundays. You go through the insane process of getting yourself organized at the beginning of the semester - you should be good to go now, right? Wrong. Take a few minutes each Sunday to orient yourself for the week ahead: look at what readings you need to get done, what assignments are coming up, and when you

might take a minute for yourself. Consider preparing food that keeps well in advance, like pasta, breakfast muffins, or pre-chopped veggies, for when you’re hungry and running late for the bus. Make smaller “To-Do” lists and group items according to immediate importance. As you’re planning for your week, create a list that ranks each item by its need-to-get-this-done status. For example, binge-watching Netflix has a pretty low need-to-get-thisdone ranking. The assignment you need to hand in on Friday has a much higher need-to-get-this-done ranking, and so it heads up to the top of the list. That said, take time for yourself.

MIKE MCCUNE VIA CC BY 2.0

It’s really hard to be organized and Each week of the semester is busy, so it’s smart to plan ahead. Make effective when you’re running on two extra when cooking meals or baking so you if you are left in a pinch, hours of sleep and your anger levels you can grab something and still catch that bus to get to campus! are on the rise because you haven’t eaten all day. Make sure you’re sleep- it’s technically a breakfast food if it’s day. Do something that makes you ing. Make sure you’re eating. On a a muffin, and you deserve it. Watch happy, because the balance between busy day, eat that double chocolate a few episodes of something on Netf- what you have to do with what you chip muffin for breakfast, because lix, or take a nap in the middle of the want to do is important.

Issue 176.2 • Thursday, January 15, 2015

Life improvements 101

Relationships change, and it’s okay EMILY JONES

There comes a time in everyone’s life when we have to accept that our old friends – and ourselves are evolving – and things won’t always be the same. Years have passed since high school and, surprisingly, since university as well. People move, meet new people, have different experiences, and,

all of a sudden, you find yourself feeling disillusioned and stunned as to where your connection went. The connection is sometimes still there, but it’s different and not always the easiest pill to swallow. So, how do you keep a connection close? Is it possible? Is it worth it? This all depends on what this relationship means to you now - not what it meant to you in the past. Accepting that these two things are different is the first step. Sure, you may have had such a close relationship from the time you were 15, but that was a long time ago - you both moved away, and have been located across the

LIFE country from one another for the past partial decade. You may very well still have things in common – and even still love each other – but do you actually put in the effort to making the friendship work? Ask yourself if you both do, if it is one-sided, or if you could both use some practice. Then, ask yourself if it is satisfying or frustrating. Once this is determined, it is time to decide whether the relationship is adding anything of value to your life. If it isn’t, it may be time to move on. I know, it’s rough to hear. But, putting out the effort and getting nothing in return can be a really negative

force to have to deal with in your 20s, which, as a 20-somethingyear-old, I can say that this decade is one of the most fantastic – yet devastating – decades of your lifetime. The thing about being in your 20s is that there are what seem to be endless obstacles to climb and endless questions to ask yourself about who you really are and what you want out of your life. There are social pressures surrounding us everywhere, as well as pressures we have decided to put on ourselves. That is why I am starting this column. I want to discuss the issues I have encountered – or

League of Legends: the sport you never heard of Taking a look at the growing platform of e-sports MATTEO CIMELLARO Let’s flashback to four years ago, we see a younger Matteo with a burning-hot Pizza Pop or ketchup-covered Pogo stick glued to the computer screen, watching screaming announcers declare the winner of the Global Starcraft League, or World Championship Series. A lot has changed since then: my enthusiasm and involvement with professional Starcraft has diminished, and, apparently, so has the world’s interest. The winds have shifted to League of Legends, a free-to-play multiplayer online battle arena – better known as LoL – with 67 million plus players worldwide. If you’re a gamer, you’ve most likely taken your hand at LoL and played it loyally at one-point, or still do today. If you’re not a gamer, chances are you’ve never heard of it. The only exposure you’ve probably had to LoL are quick glances to that cartoonish-looking game you see on people’s laptops at the library or Thornbrough. Here’s a little rundown of how the game works: teams of five fight in three lanes to destroy each other’s towers, and try to reach the enemy team’s base to destroy their Nexus and win the game. Each game lasts anywhere from quick 20-minute landslides to hour-and-a-half wars, with battles shifting the momentum

VINCENT SAMACO VIA CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Twitch streaming service provides e-sports fans with a unique glimpse into the daily lives and personalities of their favourite players. at any moment, giving the game depth and complex dynamics. Riot games, the developers of LoL, keep the community on their toes and the game balanced by providing updates to “buff ” (improve) or “nerf ” (worsen) specific characters, giving the game an element of innovation and creativity. The best professional teams take the best advantage of this. Yes, there are professional players. And yes, they make hell of a lot more money than you’re thinking. Most professional players are signed to professional teams. Cloud9 and Team SoloMid (TSM) are the LoL versions of the Toronto Maple Leafs or Montreal Canadiens. Teams pay for their players to put in

the 14-hours-a-day of practice: the required time to play at the highest competitive level. The average salary is around $85,000 – $100,000 a year, and the Sidney Crosbys or Lebron James make a lot more. On top of salaries from their teams and endorsements from energy drinks and gamingproduct companies like Razer or SteelSeries (the Nike and Reebok equivalent for e-sports), players stream their day-to-day practice on Twitch, a live-streaming website. In December alone, Twitch saw a shocking 68,855,644 viewer hours – that’s a good 7, 860 years, for you math majors. TSM’s own WildTurtle had an average 18,222 viewers, while his teammate Bjergsen, had a fat 27,050

on average. This viewership for single players is in North America, where e-sports is seemingly big, but not anywhere close in popularity as in Asia; specifically in Korea. 80 per cent of LoL players are in Asia. In Korea, where last year’s World Championship Series was held, there is a nightly television show dedicated solely to League of Legends. In Korea, pro-players are held to the same level of fame as our hockey players are here in Canada. The fourth season of the World Championship Series were held in Seoul, South Korea on Oct 19. It was held in a stadium built for World Cup soccer, with over 40,000 in attendance, and millions more watching from their

know someone who has encountered – to enable people in their 20s (and hopefully others, too) to make small improvements to better their lives. In upcoming weeks, I am going to discuss a range of topics that are all centered in self-improvement and development. I hope that these brief articles will allow people to feel connected and not alone in their struggles to figure out what exactly it is they are doing in their lives, and how they want to live. In the next article, I will speak about how improving relationships you want to keep starts with improving yourself.

computer-screens. Imagine Dragons contributed the theme song, Warriors, and performed at the event in a similar fashion to what you will see Katy Perry do at the Super Bowl this year. The World Championship Series equivalent to the Lombardi Trophy is a 70-pound chalice that you would expect to see in Game of Thrones. Riot Games funded the event with a 2-million prize pool. The winning team, Korean-based Samsung Galaxy White, walked away with a $1 million victory. Second place earned 250,000; with third and fourth placed team earning a still lottery-like winning of $150,000. Riot Games’ success has contributed to their mantra: “Experience first, and profit second.” LoL is free, giving an all-inclusive playable experience to anyone who takes the time to download the game. Much of Riot Games online profits are a result of the in-game microtransactions players make to buy skins for their favourite characters. Players purchased up $122 million in August alone. Some would judge this as pointless, as it adds little to gameplay experience, but those who pay to swag out their 1998 Honda Civic might understand. Riot Games, unlike other developers, puts their community at the forefront of their priorities, providing a progressive and economical game for players, without charging $80 for a yearly update. And it has paid off. Bigname sponsors like Coca-Cola and Korean Air are interested in sponsoring the next League of Legends World Championship, and the fan-base is only growing. Good game Riot Games, gg.

LIFE

On this day...

Date: January 15, 1999 ALEXANDRA GRANT On this day with SHAC in 1999, the Račak Massacre occurred in central Kosovo. During this attack on the village of Račak, perpetrated by Serbian security forces, at least 45 Kosovo Albanians were slaughtered in a mass killing that was a suspected order from Slobodan Milošević’s office. Milošević was the President of the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia at the time, and his involvement was suspected, as the Serb government refused to let a war crimes prosecutor visit the site, and maintained that the casualties were all members of the rebel Kosovo Liberation Army killed in combat by state security forces. This massacre became a major factor for NATO deciding to use force against the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia to end its campaign of violence against Kosovo Albanians. At the time of the killings, the Kosovo War was nearing the middle of its duration, and was claiming lives on both sides. However, after the killings occurred, NATO stepped in and, with support from the air, ended the raging war. In the midst of the strike led by the NATO forces on Yugoslavia, Milošević was charged by the International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia (ICTY) with war crimes including genocide, as well as crimes against humanity in connection to the wars in Bosnia, Croatia, and Kosovo. With the war in Kosovo mirroring the events in Ukraine, with some wishing for independence, while others fighting to be a part of Russia, it shows that history can repeat itself if problems – like a lack of nationalism and the ignorance of identity – are allowed to continue. If the Serbians and the Albanians had only been afforded the opportunity to reach a diplomatic agreement over their differences, rather than being egged on to fight by individuals like Slobodan Milošević, then they may have been able to avoid the blatant disregard for the basic human rights of life, liberty, and security of person.

Can you feel the love tonight? Winter - cling or soulmate, one thing’s for sure ZOEY ROSS Valentine’s Day is a month away, and maybe a relationship is on your mind. Perhaps Valentine’s Day is just a corporate slur that has scarred our society, but either way, it’s the season of the winter cling, so here are some things to keep in mind.

“If everyone were on a mission to find their one true life partner this year, things would get crazy.” When my Editor-In-Chief, Emily Jones, asked me to write a piece about relationships, I wasn’t sure she knew what she was getting into. The truth is, I’m far from a die-hard monogamist. My relationships crumble or explode semi-yearly, but these are the days of change. This year, I am putting forth my greatest effort to present the fullest, most unadulterated version of myself. That doesn’t mean I won’t stop learning or changing, but I will continue to do so for myself and not anyone else. No one can predict the future, but the hope or hypothesis is that, if one reveals their true state, then any resulting relationship(s) will be more prosperous. Well what if you’re a terrible person? If you realize this as truth, then change for you first, and pursue romantic entanglement

later. If you’re really not feeling the whole commitment thing, and would like to start or continue casual dating, that’s totally fine (not that you need my approval). If everyone were on a mission to find their one true life partner this year, things would get crazy. If you’re one of the many people out there trying to find someone new, my advice will always be the same – the more you do, the more people you meet. Yes online communication like Tinder or Hot-or-Not is out there but there is another way: the original way. It doesn’t matter if you’re at a book club or playing co-ed ultimate Frisbee – you’re much more likely to meet someone outside than if you were sitting at home playing Call of Duty, or binge watching Orange is the New Black. It’s important to note (if you don’t already have this on lock) that “hello” does not mean “I love you,” or “I want to have sex with you.” There are no guarantees, sure bets, or quid pro quos in the dating scene; to think that there is can easily lead to objectification and trouble.

“...you’re much more likely to meet someone outside than if you were sitting at home playing Call of Duty...” Lastly, what does exist is consent. Recently, I was having a wine and Netflix night with a dear friend and previous sexual partner who I have not seen in a few years. For reference, the idea of “yes means yes” has been very much on my mind recently. The night continued with the hot romance of Rick Grimes

NIC SNELL VIA CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

With Valentine’s Day approaching, some people may be looking to have a little love in their lives – getting out there and getting involved in activities you enjoy may help you meet a special someone. and company slaying zombies in The Walking Dead, paired with three glasses of wine. It was at this juncture that I looked at my friend and said, “Can I kiss you?” My friend laughed, for a solid three seconds, and then kissed me. Then they told me they were never asked that before – at least not so directly. I think I managed to fire off the words “informed consent.” Before I could finish, we threw away the rest of the sentence and got straight to taxes. The point is, it was awkward, but it was also important. Yes, maybe there will be a brief second that

your life... your opinion... they matter.

the moment could be broken, but no one is asking you to sign a waiver like you’ve just ordered the hottest hot sauce on earth. A conversation beforehand – even a point blank question – is streets ahead. Premier Kathleen Wynne confirmed Jan. 9 at a press conference, that sex-ed classes for public school students will include lessons on consent. So whether you are pursuing your soulmate, Mr. Swipe Right, or anything in between, get smarter than an eighth grader and learn that yes means yes.

volunteer with The Ontarion Meetings held Thursday @ 5:30 in UC Rm. 264

OPINION

MIKE MYERS VIA CC BY-NC 2.0

Urban sprawl is something that concerns many Guelphites; they don’t want their city to become just another commuter city. In this article, author Carleigh Cathcart shares what she thinks makes Guelph the city that it is, and why she hopes it’ll stay the way she envisions it.

The Guelph factor Understanding the need to remain sustainable CARLEIGH CATHCART The first time I ever saw the city or University of Guelph, was move-in day for my first year of university. I hadn’t taken any tours, or researched the layout or demographics. I had just always known that this was where I wanted to live out my 20s, and I never really considered anywhere else to break away from home. In retrospect, this seems quite foolish, “What if you’d hated it?” friends often ask, but, sometimes, following your gut works out just fine. Things turned out wonderfully, and I fell in love with both the school and the city. Guelph is big enough that there are always new friends to make and new places to explore, but small enough to run into familiar faces everywhere you turn – which I love. There is plenty to do and see, without

the claustrophobic hustle-bustle of the big leagues like Toronto. As with many others, I’m captivated by the university campus – breathtaking in its nature, history, and architecture, and possessing qualities that simply cannot be found elsewhere. From the Arboretum and endless ivy blanketing Johnston Hall, to the magnificent parks and agriculture throughout town, Guelph has provided me (and many others) with a natural refuge from the constant urbanization occupying much of Canada. My love of all things Guelph also fuels my darkest fear; I dread that Guelph is becoming, or will become, the carbon-copy urban centre that blurs the distinction of many surrounding municipalities. Driving down the south end of Gordon Street, I see growing subdivisions encircled by tidy blocks of strip malls and offwhite infrastructure where, just a few short years ago, pretty fields used to lie. The excitement of the new Costco’s opening was palpable last year, and Guelph has become a paradise for housing developers who seek to satisfy the university’s bloating numbers,

with student housing and condominiums galore. Many may label me as antigrowth. The truth is, I am anti-growth. What people fail to understand, however, is that this does not equate with being anti-progress. I have never understood humanity’s obsession with constant growth. Everything must always be bigger, faster, and stronger. This mentality, in my opinion, has led to the demise of our environment and even our social structures. It happens just slowly enough for us not to realize how we are changing, until we look back one day and ache longingly for the 90s, when we played with the birds after school rather than tweeting like them all day. To be successful, a town, business, or institution does not have to perpetually expand. This is especially true for Guelph, which prides itself on its rich agricultural history. While money will likely always enslave us into choosing the most economical decision – whether or not it is consistent with our values – it would be nice to think that some minds are old-fashioned and aware enough to realize that we are slowly

destroying what remains of planet Earth. Whether it is the tearing down of historical buildings in the name of saving a few bucks, or expanding into farmland so that we can increase our cookie cutter housing and roll in piles of dough from developing fees (get it?), we forgo even the discussion of alternative action, because it is not the easiest or most profitable. Ironically, we do not take the same approach to our beloved iPhones, where having the newest-yet-almost-unchanged version is paramount to maintaining our “social” status. What I would love to see is more respect – for the environment, for history, and, most importantly, for the future. The “leaders” in charge today – including newly elected mayor Cam Guthrie, who is for some reason adamant in eliminating “the Guelph factor” (perhaps we can channel the Brampton factor? Vaughn factor?) – give little heed to the future, because it won’t be theirs to manage by the time consequences take effect. As a young citizen whose voice is often dismissed as uninformed or irrelevant, this offends me. Politicians

should care, and citizens should care – if not for themselves, then for their children. I would love to live out my life in Guelph or nearby. I would love to contribute my taxes to keeping the local economy strong – to ensuring a high quality of life for my neighbours, and to protect and preserve the limited nature that remains around me. These things are not at all mutually exclusive, and, in fact, I believe they can thrive in unison. However, it is heartbreaking to think that I may have to leave Guelph some day – to escape what may have become another GTA suburban replicate. Growth does not equal progress. By definition, it cannot continue endlessly – there is limited space – limited in this city, in this country, and on this planet. In science, uncontrolled growth has a name – cancer. The Earth is experiencing its own version of this ailment now, and it is our job to ensure that we keep growth in check. It is my sincerest hope that those in charge of Guelph’s future keep in mind what our beautiful city represents, and what defines it so differently from the rest of Ontario. The Guelph factor, indeed – I love it.

TheOntarion.com

Issue 176.2 • Thursday, January 15, 2015

OPINION

Dalhousie’s failed rape-culture debacle 13 misogynistic male students receive minimum punishment SIERRA PAQUETTE-STRUGER Something is rotten in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Something is rotten in all of academia. Just nine months after 17-year-old Halifaxnative Rehtaeh Parsons’ suicide following a traumatic rape, Dalhousie University finds itself at the centre of a nationally-involved debate about on-campus rape-culture. On Dec 16, 2014, CBC News received several disturbing screenshots exposing the depravity and rape-fantasy-fueled musings of 13 male students attending Dalhousie University. The 13 male students in the fourth-year cohort of Dalhousie’s dentistry program, have found themselves under investigation following the discovery of a

Facebook page entitled “Class of DDS 2015 Gentlemen.” In Dalhousie’s fourth-year dentistry cohort, there are currently 47 students. 26 of the students are male, which means that the 13 students who made up the violent misogyny-bent Facebook group make up half of the male year. Dalhousie has been reluctant to baldly state the depth of the sexism in the fourth-year class. In emails sent to students by the university’s president, there was no mention of the shocking number of students in the program who had participated in the group, compared to the number of students in the program. Students, as well as onlookers, across the country were led to believe that the group was a minority fringe group. Furthermore, a spokesperson for the university, Brian Leadbetter, has stated that Dalhousie does not wish to publish the names of the students for fear of jeopardizing their future careers. In other words, at the end of this semester, these 13 students could ostensibly graduate and continue on to careers in dentistry without ever

The fear of Islam How states and terrorists are killling the image of Islam GILAD KENIGSBERG-BENTOV I would like to thank Ezra Strauss for his generosity and knowledge for providing this article with research and compelling arguments. In the wake of the rise of Islamic State, it seems as though yet another group of fanatics has blatantly besieged, killed, and ultimately took the lives of innocent civilians in order to ignite political apprehensions of their power. Subsequently, they have fueled the most fervent bigotry towards a religion in history. The artists of Charlie Hebdo, a French satirical magazine well known for its controversial caricatures, had been shot and killed during a terrorist attack which took place last week. The 12 individuals killed were innocent writers and artists who, upon their travels to work, were targeted by the

biggest threat to human rights, and global growth and development: religious fanaticism. Mind you, I did not include “Islam” in there, and I will clarify my reasoning shortly. Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, and the notoriously vicious Christopher Hitchens do not lack remarks against Islam in their vast repertoire of anti-Islamic verbal projectiles. Although they more often fuel Islamaphobia instead of coming up with solutions, they do get one thing right: Islamic terrorist groups are a threat not only to their victims, but to the Western ideologies of freedom of speech and the freedom to practice religion. That being said, I believe that Muslims, more than any other group, have been victimized the most in this situation. They are the ones who are caught between the pointed finger of the world – claiming them to be terrorists – and the fundamentalists – who accuse them of siding with the infidels. I believe that we must remain judicious with our accusations and that, instead of pointing fingers at any group, we should realize that this is not a fight against Islam. Frankly this is not a fight against religion, either. It

having to disclose what they’ve been accused of. In disturbing contrast, in order to report an assault claim, a victim must publicly disclose his or her name and information. Screenshots of the group depict the students listing some of their female fellow students by name as well as how much they would enjoy “hate-f***ing” them into “unconsciousness.” Other posts joke about coercing women through the use of chloroform or nitrous oxide in order to rape them until “stress-relieved;” both chemicals are easily accessed by the students at the on-campus dental clinic where they receive clinic hours. As a result of the discovery, the 13 male students have been barred from public classes, as well as clinical hours, and they are strongly encouraged – though not required – to attend counseling services offered by the university. Richard Florizone, President of Dalhousie University, reports that the consequences for the male students were decided upon by an interactive system of restorative justice, during which all

parties come together to discuss and agree upon possible punishments. Apparently, the two or three female students listed in the group by name had to attend several meetings during which they had to look the monsters in the eye while they heard what the men had written about them. Despite Florizone’s assurance that the restorative justice process was equally favoured by the Board of Governors, the perpetrators, and the victims, several female dentistry students have published an anonymous open letter expressing their unhappiness with the ruling. The women explained that they had felt pressured into accepting the ruling and would have preferred a much stronger punishment. The female students have opened up about the sexism they have experienced in the program. Unfortunately, Dalhousie’s extremely lax response to the sinister events perpetrated by 13 ignoramuses is endemic of a much larger problem plaguing academic institutions. For an undergraduate student, being

accused of academic-misconduct is arguably the most immediately terrifying possibility faced during our studies. Suspensions and expulsions are common punishments received for, contextually, extremely minor offenses. It seems that we live in an academic culture that cares more if you forgot to cite something a few times than if you threatened egregious violence against another human being. Surely, by protecting these men and by plying them with a mere slap on the wrist, we are actively stating that promoting violence against others, specifically women, is a minor infraction. Even though the men of the group claimed it was a “joke,” joking about rape and assault only serves to internalize it as something “not that bad” in the listeners. On a darker note, if these students can joke so lightly about rape, who is to say that the desire has not yet been consummated in some way? The cavalier way in which Dalhousie dealt with this act of violence does not bode well for past, present, or future victims.

is a fight against fanaticism. We cannot dwell on the fact that these acts were fuelled by Islamic extremism. What makes this action significant, and the many others that occurred around the world this year, is that we are no longer bound by boarders. We are now facing a global threat – a nemesis to our universal wellbeing. Religious fanatics and their Western counterparts are now at a state of serious tension. As a global citizen who obeys, lives by, and enjoys the fruits of Western ideology , I am involuntarily labelling myself a target for fanatic groups all over the world. It is for this precise reason that why it is utterly malicious to turn our backs on our fellow Muslim citizens, because they suffer from both sides. As a globalized, modern country, and especially one as accepting and welcoming as Canada, it is crucial that we help one another by any means necessary. Some fear that this act of terror was a mere result of the disgracing of the Islamic prophet; others, AlJazeera especially, have justified it as an act of vengeance towards the violent colonial history of France, while others still have labelled it as the beginning of many more

attacks to come in the struggle towards a global Islamic caliphate. Let it be known, there is far more to this attack than what the media has covered.

“moderate” Syrian rebels have joined ISIS. Which brings me to conclude the following: what was this attack really about? If the U.S., Britain, and France have been arming these forces since 2011, with the intentions of aiding in the fight against the Assad regime, only to have these groups turn against them – in spite of their known allegiance to Al-Qaeda – then how could the attacks on Charlie Hebdo not have been foreseen? The history of statesponsored terrorism – the U.S. and the Taliban, Israel and Hamas – looks more like a list of bilateral arms agreements than “political follies.” These countries and their intelligence sources knew what they were doing. The attackers’ intentions will soon surface and, inevitably, so will their association with terrorist organizations. As Reza Aslan said earlier this week on CNN; “This is the problem ... we are using two or three examples to justify a generalization, that’s actually the definition of bigotry.” We either adhere to the ideologies of Western culture, by protecting freedom of speech and not condemning an entire religion, or crumble as individuals at the fault of our own ignorance and hypocrisy.

“...there is far more to this attack than what the media has covered.” For nearly four years, France has been supplying arms to Islamist terrorist groups in both Libya and Syria. Apart from the fact that the former country was a blatant violator of the U.N. arms embargo on Libya in 2011, the still standing Free Syrian Army has publicly admitted to their affiliation with Al-Qaeda, and has fought against the Assad regime alongside ISIS and the Al-Nusra front, both of which owe their military success to a generous arms supply chain from the West. Furthermore, several groups backed by the U.S., the CIA to be specific, have joined the Al-Nusra alliance, following their pledged allegiance to Al-Qaeda, while the CIA-trained

Now hiring a full-time contract position for April 2015-2016 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

The Editor-in-Chief is responsible for everything concerning the daily operation of the newspaper and all material printed within. They set a vision and direction for the paper in terms of design, format, and content that is consistent with The Ontarion Policy. They will manage and evaluate staff, schedule work hours, coordinate volunteers and facilitate regular meetings. They troubleshoot and facilitate conflict resolution. While the Editor-in-Chief will make journalistic or graphic contributions to the newspaper, this is primarily a management position. Apply with portfolio of at least 6 writing samples, resume and cover letter to: The Ontarion EIC Hiring Committee, UC 264, University of Guelph, Guelph Ontario,N1G 2W1 Email: ontarion@uoguelph.ca Only those applicants granted an interview will be contacted. The Ontarion offers a learning environment in student media and considers this in their hiring process. To obtain a copy of The Ontarionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Employment Equity Policy and/or the Job Description for this position, please email us at ontarion@uoguelph.ca or visit our website @ www.theontarion.comThe Ontarion reserves the right to prioritize candidates who currently live in, or who commit to moving into Guelph or the immediate surrounding area, during the duration of their employment.

DEADLINE FOR APPLICATION IS MONDAY, JANUARY 26 AT 4 P.M.

The successful candidate will possess: -a vision for The Ontarion for 2015-16 -supervisory or leadership skills; excellent communication skills -interpersonal conflict resolution skills; strong organizational skills -the ability to work in a stressful environment under tight deadlines -work and volunteer experience in a press environment -training or experience in journalism, editing and/or graphics, some design experience

The Ontarionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Employment Equity Policy is a proactive measure to recruit qualified people from a variety of ethnic, religious, and class backgrounds, lesbians, bisexuals, gays and transgendered people, people of colour, Aboriginal people, people with disabilities, and women. Members of the previously identified groups are encouraged to self-identify.

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Are you interested in learning more about how your student newspaper is run behind-the-scenes? Joining the Board of Directors is a way to gain valuable experience while still an undergraduate student. Get involved, and start working on committees such as: human resources, finance, public relations, and more! Please contact onpresid@uoguelph.ca, or ontarion@uoguelph.ca for more information.

EDITORIAL

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Combatting writer’s block: a war worth waging The continuous and constant struggle of putting pen to paper and finger to key EMILIO GHLOUM “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War We’ve all been there. When the clock is ticking down, and the due date for your assignment is lingering – suspended above you like a dark, grey, cloud of anxiety, sweat, pretzels, and uncertainty. You sit at your computer – turning on some ambient electro, or maybe some Simon & Garfunkel (my personal go-to study music), and as you open your Microsoft Word document you find that it is blank and empty – much like your soul after exams. The rhythmic ticking of the cursor feels like it is mocking you, urging you to input some words onto the blank canvas as you sit, lip-syncing to “Mrs.Robinson.” The melodic pulses of the cursor remind you of your due dates and your impending all-nighter. You have your favorite drink beside you, your favorite socks on your feet, and your favorite music all together at once – the environment is ideal and perfect. No more distractions are possible – everything is the way you want it to be. But why, then, can’t you write anything? Why are you blankly staring at your screen waiting for something magical to happen? There are a variety of misconceptions surrounding writer’s block, and in this article, I’ll aim to fill that emptiness – much like the emptiness of your Word document. The most crucial mistake people make when facing writer’s block involves attitude and perspective. Your mindset and your demeanor are crucial components of preparing to wage war against writer’s block. Naturally, these

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY JESSICA AVOLIO

“The process of writing should take a long time, and, much like a muscle that needs to be flexed, the ability to write can be improved upon through repetition and determination.” notions are heavily tied to patience and frustration. Why patience? Isn’t patience supposed to be a good thing? Well, not only is the clock ticking on your assignment, but, waiting and being patient will ultimately be your downfall. Writer’s block is cruel and unrelenting – it wants you to fail. It wants you to sit patiently and not write a single word, while constantly refreshing the front page of Reddit. It wants you to clean the entire house and “procrasti-clean.” It wants you to “procrasti-cook” your dinner from stratch, or “procrasti-call” your parents to see how they are doing (which you should be doing regularly). Writer’s block is gritty; it plays dirty – it strikes at the most opportune times. Waiting for ideal conditions or circumstances to begin writing is the most common trap that writers fall into. You would be surprised how often you can catch yourself doing this. If you often tell yourself, “I’ll start writing after I get coffee,” or “I need to go to Planet Bean before I begin my essay,” then you may have a procrastination problem. To avoid this trap, try not to get caught up in finding the perfect conditions for writing. The truth is – those conditions don’t exist. When you write, you are fighting a vicious battle – and you don’t get to choose the battlefield. Regardless of where and when you write, the most important thing is that you actually write something. If you wait patiently for creative inspiration, you will

quickly realize that inspiration has deserted you on the front lines, and has retreated from battle.

“When you write, you are fighting a vicious battle – and you don’t get to choose the battlefield..” To quote the great Childish Gambino, “[I] got no patience, cause I’m not a doctor.” Having patience and waiting for inspiration to come to you is clearly not an effective way to deal with writer’s block. My seemingly deep and overly philosophical advice to you is this: endure. Embrace the frustration, instead of the patience. As anyone who has tried their hand at writing knows – whether creatively or academically – it is nearly impossible to fully articulate your precise meaning, and it is incredibly difficult to communicate your ideas to others as they appear in your head. This is extremely frustrating, in every sense of the term. Writing is a long and tedious process, and the only way for you to get through it with persistence and vigour. Do not be discouraged by frustration. If you can write down anything on your

page, you are on the right track. That being said, one of the keys to combating writer’s block is building a steady writing habit. You can’t expect to return from Winter break, not having written anything for two weeks, and perfectly articulate all of your ideas onto paper. The process of writing should take a long time, and, much like a muscle that needs to be flexed, the ability to write can be improved through repetition and determination. When writing an essay or assignment, it is crucial to set realistic goals for yourself. Instead of sitting down and writing your paper all at once, divide your workload into manageable portions. For example, set a goal to spend 15 minutes to research your topic. That’s it. One simple goal at a time. Once you have accomplished this small task, you are that much closer to completing your paper. As you continue to create smaller and more attainable goals, your assignment will come together piece-by-piece and become less daunting. Reading this article, you may begin to notice some of the mistakes you commonly make as a writer. Good. As a writer, you should be making mistakes constantly. What will propel you to the next level, academically or creatively, is not the quality of your work, but the habits that you cultivate. If you begin organizing your tasks and assignments into smaller, more attainable goals, then you are one step closer to establishing a strong foundation for effective writing.

Issue 176.2 • Thursday, January 15, 2015

ACROSS 1- Room in a casa 5- Turkish title 9- Monetary unit of India 14- Children’s author Blyton 15- And ___ goes 16- Change 17- ___ Hashanah 18- “Le Roi d’Ys” composer 19- Fills to the gills 20- Raising of a number to a power 23- Capital of Calvados, in NW France 24- East ender? 25- Queue after Q 28- The state of being opaque 31- JFK posting 34- First-stringers 36- Abby’s twin 37- Arabian Sea gulf 38- In spite of 42- Scottish Celt 43- Mouthpiece of a bridle 44- Blender brand 45- Aliens, briefly 46- Somehow 49- Filthy place 50- Cartoon Chihua-

hua 51- French summers 53- County in central England 60- Caste member 61- Sat on the back of a horse 62- Author Seton 63- Type of sanctum 64- Iowa city 65- Female rabbits 66- Tantalize 67- Spanish muralist 68- Gaelic language of Ireland or Scotland DOWN 1- Shrivelled, without moisture 2- Strong as ___ 3- Speech issue 4- Committee type 5- Out, in bed 6- Australian lizard 7- Sword handle 8- Yours, in Tours 9- Danish, e.g. 10- Actor Delon 11- Sock ___ me! 12- Spotted 13- Horace’s “___ Poetica” 21- Model Campbell

FUN PAGE

22- Big name in insurance 25- Extent 26- Brown ermine 27- French beans? 29- Class of Indian society 30- CD earnings 31- Prepares for publication 32- Article of faith 33- Wrathful 35- Shoe tool 37- Show stoppers? 39- Steak order 40- God, biblically 41- “The Highwayman” poet 46- Safe 47- Garden device 48- Still 50- Travels on 52- Willow provision 53- Queue 54- Sicilian resort 55- Ladies of Sp. 56- Heavy book 57- Are you ___ out? 58- Deli breads 59- Alleviate ANSWERS FROM 176.1 60- Strike

CLASSIFIEDS Recruiting students for paid research in downtown Guelph! $35 for 2 hours. Must be age 18-60, fluent in English, and work easily with a computer workstation. Email general@humansys.com.

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Want to book an advertisement in one of The Ontarion’s winter editions? help your business Reach thousands of students, staff and faculty Deadlines for ad submission are mondays at noon onsales@uoguelph.ca 519-824-4120 ext 58267 theontarion.com/advertising