The Ontarion - Issue #175.6 by The Ontarion

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Issue No. 175.6

Try out a new recipe

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GUELPH COMEDY FEST PAGE 9

HOME OPENER PAGE 16

SLUTWALK PAGE 3

NEWS 3 • ARTS & CULTURE 8 • SPORTS & HEALTH 11 • LIFE 17 • OPINION 21 • FEATURE 24 • EDITORIAL 25 • FUN PAGE 26

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Issue 175.6 • Thursday, October 9, 2014

NEWS

Guelph’s second SlutWalk a success Homicide in Guelph’s South End Hundreds gather to challenge rape culture

MIKE OTT Despite a rainy and grey day on Saturday, Oct. 4, at least 300 people showed up to march with the second SlutWalk downtown Guelph. The protest challenged rape culture present in society to fight the reality of victims being blamed for their own sexual assault, as well as to bring attention to the pervasiveness of slut-shaming. After opening remarks at Market Square, the walk proceeded to march the downtown core, returning to the Square for presentations from several key speakers in the movement against rape culture. Many drivers and passersby expressed their support with encouraging shouts and car horns, and many joined in on the walk, grabbing a sign from a participant and adding their voices to the chants and shouts. Participants were treated to empowering speeches from representatives from the White Ribbon Campaign and V-Day Guelph, as well as several writers and poets, who spoke of their own experiences with sexual assault, sexuality, and rape culture. Each speaker spoke passionately about challenging corporations and the state in attempts to demonstrate how each aspect of society forces rape culture and victim-blaming on survivors of assault. SlutWalk began in Toronto in 2011 when a representative of the Toronto Police stated that women could avoid being raped or sexually assaulted if they “didn’t dress like sluts.” The statement caused immediate outrage, and SlutWalk has since grown into a worldwide movement, with nearly 100 countries and every continent participating. Guelph joined the movement in April

Police confirm death of 61-year-old woman treated as homicide. KELSEY COUGHLIN

NATASHA CASTELLANO

Hundreds gathered downtown Guelph for the third annual SlutWalk, marching through the streets to raise awareness of the prevalence of victim-blaming in cases of sexual assault. of 2013 thanks to efforts by Kara Carder and Elsa Bagg, who organized the first event. After the first walk’s success, preparations began immediately for the second event to take place. 97 sexual assaults were reported in Guelph in the past year. Given that only 10 per cent of sexual assaults are reported to the police out of fear of shame or victim-blaming, it is mortifying to think of how many sexual assaults may actually be occurring in a community considered so safe. SlutWalk Guelph aims to support these survivors and to provide an outlet in which victims can feel safe and empowered. Many find it hard to talk of their past and what happened to them during their attack, and SlutWalk Guelph hopes to provide resources, awareness, and hope to those survivors.

“After finding it hard to speak to anyone about my own assault, I found solace in the fact that so many people turned out to support this movement,” noted one participant, who chose to remain anonymous, about the importance of the SlutWalk movement. “I used to believe I was at fault for my own rape; that I drank too much or hung out with the wrong people. All the young people here have helped to me realize that I am a victim, and nothing I wear or say is to blame for the fact that I was raped. The only person at fault for my attack is my attacker, not myself.” Statements like these are what keep participants marching and supporting the movement. With an increasing awareness of rape culture in society, the third SlutWalk in Guelph could be the largest yet.

On Sept. 30, police cruisers, heavily armed officers, police dogs, and a lot of yellow tape greeted many Gordon Street residents. At 9:45 that morning, police discovered the body of a 61-yearold woman at 1541 Gordon Street South. The police discovered the body while looking for a man they sought for unrelated charges, who is now considered a possible person of interest in the case. After reviewing the results of an autopsy performed Wednesday, Oct. 1 in Hamilton, police confirmed that they are treating the death as a homicide. Police have remained tightlipped about many specifics of the case, refusing to release the suspected cause of death, any suspects’ identities, or any circumstances surrounding the death and the apprehended man, in order to preserve the integrity of the ongoing investigation. Police have publicly announced that any risk to public safety as a result of this case has been resolved and residents have no need to be concerned. Constable Michael Gatto, media relations spokesperson, explained that “when dealing with investigations, sometimes the police have to withhold information to keep

the integrity of the investigation sound.” Gatto went on to say that “at this point, [the police] do not believe there is a concern for public safety, based on the information that [they] have.” That same day, an arrest was made on the city’s south end, but police maintain that the arrest was unrelated to the homicide investigation. The police also made it clear that as of yet, they have no official suspect in the case. The deceased woman’s identity has recently been disclosed to the public. Her family and friends described Patsy Lewis, the deceased, as a loving, gregarious, and quick-witted woman. Little is known about Lewis’ personal or home situation at this time, but it has been reported that her biological son, Lawrence Kemp, was living with her around the time of the incident. Police will not comment on whether or not he is a suspect in the case. In an attempt to respect the family’s request for privacy, police are refusing to disclose any more information about the deceased or any persons of interest until more facts have been established. Police are continuing to monitor the Gordon residence, as a forensic examination is currently underway. To date, no charge has been laid in the homicide case, and the investigation is ongoing. Police are requesting that anyone with information regarding the case contact them directly or Crimestoppers.

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Issue 175.6 • Thursday, October 9, 2014

NEWS

Bill C-36 thought not to encourage safety in sex work Experts gathered at University of Guelph to debate topic KATIE SULLIVAN Almost a year after the groundbreaking Supreme Court case R v. Bedford,

there is a shared concern that Bill C-36, proposed by the Conservatives to address the unconstitutional nature of prostitution laws in Canada, will fall short of its goal in protecting “communities and exploited persons.” A panel of experts at the University of Guelph determined that Bill C-36 will continue to ignore the challenges that the sex trade industry faces and will be ineffective in addressing issues of protection from harm. The Criminal Justice and Public Policy program and the Institute for

Liberal Studies at U of G hosted the discussion on Wednesday, Oct. 2. Those in attendance widely agreed that Bill C-36 will not improve the lives of sex workers. Dr. Peter Jaworski, Assistant Professor at Georgetown University, noted that he was “not endorsing [the legalization of prostitution], but if the genuine concern is about violence and the treatment of prostitutes, legalization can deal with this.” Peter MacKay, Minister of Justice, told a different tale when promoting

the bill. McKay said to the Senate review committee that under Bill C-36, the workers will be able to protect themselves while being able to exit the sex industry without fear of prosecution. Dr. Rashmee Singh, Assistant Professor of Sociology and Legal studies at the University of Waterloo, did not agree with MacKay’s position at the panel. “Will criminalization protect the most vulnerable? Will Bill C-36 actually protect women? Recent research says no. Criminalization could make prostitutes more vulnerable,” Singh said. Furthermore, Singh held that Bill C-36, like past prostitution legislation, continues to ignore that “the experience of the sex trade is different based on gender, race, economic and geographic location.” “Native sex workers experience more violence and are more vulnerable,” Singh continued. “It’s entirely different from a middleclass white sex worker, and there’s an absence of empirical research on what sex workers want.”

Sex Workers’ Action Group: Guelph (SWAGG) suggests in the same nature that “Bill C-36 will disproportionately affect sex workers who are already vulnerable to violence and criminalization, including youth, those without homes, street-based workers, parents, those without status, and Indigenous people.” Perhaps the problem is rooted in a mismatch, as many remain unclear as to what the bill is hoping to address. MacKay, in early September, stated that Bill C-36’s objective is “to reduce the demand for prostitution with a view towards discouraging entry into it, deterring participation in it and ultimately abolishing it to the greatest extent possible.” Public opinion, however, suggests that the focus of any prostitution legislation should consider primarily issues of gender violence, sex trafficking, and harm, rather than the elimination of sex work as a legitimate profession. While there is ongoing debate on the subject, one thing is clear: Bill C-36 will not pass uncontested.

Upcoming events Oct. 9: Third annual International Day of the Girl, Peter Clark Hall, 10 a.m. to 2:15 p.m. Oct. 10: World Mental Health Day

THE SISTERS IN SPRIT VIGIL: HONOURING MEMORIES

RYAN PRIDDLE

Participants light candles at a vigil held on Saturday, Oct. 4 to honour the memory of murdered Aboriginal women. The Sisters in Spirit Vigil, a small part of the larger Native Women’s Association of Canada (NWAC), was organized to raise awareness of the prevalence of violent crime against Aboriginal women and to promote further action to ensure their safety. Aboriginal women make up approximately three per cent of the Canadian female population, but staggeringly, 10 per cent of female homicide victims in Canada are Aboriginal women. With support from the NWAC, Sisters in Spirit aims to navigate the criminal justice system in search of further protection for Aboriginal women from violent crimes.

7:00 PM

movies and more

Oct. 11: National Coming Out Day Oct. 13: Thanksgiving Monday. No classes, Library open from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. Oct. 14: Study Break Day. No classes, Library open 8 a.m. to 2 a.m.

Visit www.sundaycinema.ca for info on these Central Student Association events.

7:00 PM

NOON

7:00 PM

8:50 PM

Jennifer Castle doCurama Thurs Oct 9

doCurama Thurs Oct 16

noon hour Thurs Oct 17

Sunday Cinema Sun Oct 19

rozanski 105 | FrEE Non-human animals, science, and morality. Co-sponsored by the McLaughlin Library.

rozanski 105 | FrEE The tough, demanding work of humanitarianism. Co-sponsored by the McLaughlin Library.

uC Courtyard | FrEE Music not so much of the earth as floating above it. Co-sponsored by CFRU 93.3 FM. Live broadcast.

thornbrough 1200 | $3 UoG stu • $8 gen Campy, scary — and surprisingly moving. Co-sponsored by Interhall.

thornbrough 1200 | $3 UoG stu • $8 gen A gloriously gonzo steampunky class parable. Co-sponsored by Interhall.

FIND US ONLINE

CREATE COMPLEX PASSWORDS AND MAKE SURE YOUR U OF G PASSWORD IS NEVER THE SAME AS ANY OTHER PASSWORD

OCTOBER IS

SECURITY AWARENESS MONTH WWW.UOGUELPH.CA/CIO/IT-SECURITY

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Issue 175.6 • Thursday, October 9, 2014

NEWS

Harper proposes air-strikes against ISIS Debate ensues over Canadian action LUKE FUENDLING On Friday, Oct. 3rd, Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced his plan to the House of Commons for Canada’s contribution to the effort against ISIS. ISIS (the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria) has begun a ruthless and violent campaign in Iraq and Syria, targeting religious minorities and other innocents. Stephen Harper stressed in his address that ISIS has recently targeted Canada and Canadians specifically, and that “left unchecked, this terrorist threat can only grow and grow quickly.” As part of his proposition, Harper emphasized that Canada must join its allies and support this offensive effort.

He went on to say that “[it] has never been the Canadian way to do only the most easy and praiseworthy actions, and leave the tough things for others.” The outlined plan involves a six month air-strike effort, consisting of half a dozen CF-18 fighter jets, two CP-140 Aurora surveillance aircraft, a CC-150 Polaris air-to-air refueling aircraft, and close to 600 men to crew the aircraft, respectively. The effort will also include the extension to a proposed 69 special operations officers to carry out security detail in northern Iraq, 26 of which are already on the ground. Both opposition parties have taken a stand against the motion. Their main concern is to obtain answers from the Harper administration as to the details of the mission, such as cost, duration, and rules of engagement. Thomas Mulcair, leader of the NDP, said that Canada’s effort should be comprised of diplomatic means, with a concentration on humanitarian actions

and works to strengthen political institutions in Iraq and Syria. Mulcair went on to say that “the tragedy in Iraq and Syria will not end with another Western-led invasion in that region.” Liberal leader Justin Trudeau added that “Canadians have a lot more to offer” than the military effort that Harper proposed. “We can be resourceful, and there are significant, substantial non-combat roles Canada can play,” Trudeau said. Harper responded to the opposition by stating that it is not an “either/ or” situation. He assured the House that the militant effort would be an “addition to large-scale financial assistance already being furnished.” The proposition also does not exclude humanitarian assistance. Regarding these humanitarian efforts, however, there is little detail to be found in the proposition. The intentions of the mission are to restrict military movements made by ISIS, and their ability to operate

bases in the open. Harper acknowledged that air-strikes are not likely to end the ISIS presence, but ignoring the jihadists means a threat against Canadians. “As a government, we know our ultimate responsibility is to protect Canadians, and to defend our citizens from those who would do harm to us and to our families,” Harper said. The necessity for Canada’s involvement with the terrorist organization is yet unclear. ISIS has control over a large territory and the group has expressed intentions to launch a jihad on a global scale. However, The United States, United Kingdom, Denmark, France, Saudi Arabia, and others have already responded on a military scale. Moving forward, more questions need answers, as the opposition has suggested. Among those needed are plans for an exit strategy and agreed upon terms to the extent of resources used for the mission. These areas of the proposal are foggy at best.

Hong Kong: The fight for democracy Protests rage in face of continued Communism ALEXANDRA GRANT Starting back in June of 2014, when tens of thousands gathered to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square Crackdown, there has been a growing wave of action and protest for a more democratic Hong Kong. After the anniversary, protests for and against democracy have been occurring on and off in the streets of the financial district of the city and in front of government buildings. In September of 2014, students rallied together and boycotted classes for a week in support of a pro-democratic government. These protests have been the outcome of Leung Chun-Ying, the Chief Executive of Hong Kong, reneging on a promise to allow for his successor to be elected through a democratic style election. He now declares that the candidates for his succession will be people that mainland China’s government will have hand chosen. This has angered the masses, as the Communist influence will surely lead to unwanted candidate selection, moving Hong Kong further from democracy and closer to Beijing’s politics. All of this has created the driving force behind the large numbers of people motivated to occupy the streets of Hong Kong. At the front of this pack is a 17-year-old student named Joshua

Pro-democracy protesters on the streets of Hong Kong. Wong. Wong started his political life two years ago when he organized his classmates in protesting the implementation of “patriotic education,” which many have described as Communist doctrine education. Since then, Wong has been an active advocate for a pro-democratic Hong Kong. However, this leadership has led to quite a bit of negative attention from media and others, with some sources smearing him as a figurehead tool of United States. Unsurprisingly, this has not slowed Wong down; even his arrest, which lasted only two nights, backfired on the Hong Kong police, as

all it did was inspire even more people to join the crowds of Wong and prodemocratic supporters. Wong’s opponent, Chun-Ying, has a powerful group of supporters himself, as the Chief Executive. The People’s Daily, the main newspaper of the Chinese Communist Party, displayed a front page editorial declaring their full support for Chun-Ying. The editorial said that Beijing would continue to “unswervingly” support him and would “resolutely support the police force of the special administrative territory in dealing with illegal activities according to the law.” Just

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three days later, Chun-Ying ordered the riot police to confront peaceful protesters with tear gas and pepper spray. Unfortunately for Chun-Ying, this backfired, and the attack garnered many more people to gather in support of the demonstrators and Wong. To date, the protesting continues on with no clear end date in sight. With both sides standing their ground, it is surely going to take quite a push to make any significant changes. However when this is all said and done, the people of Hong Kong will have their answer to the question: Democracy or Communism?

Under the Radar

Nurse in Spain diagnosed with Ebola Investigations continue at the Carlos III Madrid hospital after a Spanish nurse became the first person worldwide to be known to have contracted the Ebola virus outside of West Africa. The auxiliary nurse, a 40-year-old woman who remains anonymous, treated two Spanish missionaries who succumbed to the deadly virus after being airlifted home from West Africa. Manuel Garcia Viejo, 69, died at the hospital on Sept. 25. Miguel Pajares, 75, passed away in late August. Following the nurse’s contraction of the virus, three others have been placed under quarantine, including the woman’s husband and a second nurse who treated the missionaries. Healthcare providers are also monitoring 22 others whom the nurse had contact with at the Alcorcon hospital, where she was treated, and 30 others at the Carlos III centre, where she worked. It remains unclear how the nurse contracted the disease, as the hospital is reported to follow extreme protective measures. However, some health workers have said that the protective clothing used did not have a level-four biological security, and was instead level-two. Dead bear cub found in Central Park A dead black bear cub was found in New York City’s Central park in the early morning of Monday, Oct. 6. Police and residents remain confused as to how the female cub ended up in the famous park. Bears are not known to live in the park in the heart of NYC – one of America’s most densely populated cities. No bears have been reported missing from zoos in surrounding areas. While bears did reside in the Big Apple at one time, they haven’t been native to the city for potentially centuries. However, bears are native to the region, as New Jersey has one of the highest black bear populations in the country. The cub was found under a bush, appearing to have suffered traumatic injury. It remains unclear how the bear died, but investigators have determined that the corpse had been dragged to the park. “Certainly, a cub did not wander into Central Park by itself,” concluded Geoffrey Croft of the New York City Park Advocates. -Compiled by Alyssa Ottema

ARTS & CULTURE

eBar rings in autumn with Bruce Peninsula Bruce Peninsula, Adverteyes, and Del Bel featured in Kazoo! #192 ADRIEN POTVIN The persistence of Americana, as a musical genre, is sometimes a tricky thing to pin down. On one hand, purist roots seem to permeate the (often-bearded) self-awareness of the big folk band/collective/family format. On the other, some artists seem to pick the most salient, malleable aspects of the genre and spin them into innovative, compelling works that both resist and intervene with the constraints of America’s folk tradition. Thankfully, the Kazoo! event at eBar on Sunday night, Oct. 6, achieved the best of both camps, with an evening of powerful, exciting music that innovatively engages with that fairly specific label of “folk” music. Adverteyes, a Guelph-based synthrock band, launched the evening’s music with their unique blend of electric guitars, Krautrock-flavoured drum loops, and engrossing synth tones. Their genre and lineup-shifting

MOHAMMAD MELEBARI

Bruce Peninsula’s sweeping, epic vocal harmonies work perfectly with their careful attention to groove and deft use of polyrhythmic beats. sensibilities are most apparent when the electric guitar is thrown into the mix - these timbres, as mentioned before regarding the idea of “folk,” have a certain organic quality that dances deftly around the blips, bloops, and blorts of their synth-informed final product. Usually a larger group, in addition to the synthesizers and drum loops, it seems that whatever capacity Adverteyes is playing in, they know exactly

how to provide an in-depth sonic experience. Toronto-based Del Bel took the stage shortly after. Performing music off of their latest album, Oneiric, the group’s music is reminiscent of Nick Cave and Rickie Lee Jones’ intangibly dark storytelling, set against a backdrop of richly and distinctly cinematic music. This largely stems from Ira Zingraff’s smoky, film-noir provoking muted trumpet and singer Lisa

Conway’s sultry, soaring vocals, but obviously this could not be as effective without the rest of the band’s impeccable groove and attention to texture. Again, the folk tradition is certainly present, but it is not entirely formative of their sound. The evening’s headliner, Toronto’s Bruce Peninsula, is a large collective of musicians. So large and sprawling, in fact, that they’ve featured Canadian indie hard-hitters such as Taylor

Kirk (Timber Timbre) and Casey Mecija (Ohbijou) in their short history as a group. Case in point - not having realized it until it was pointed out by a friend - I was surprised and pleased to see/hear Tamara Lindeman (a.k.a. The Weather Station) as part of their current four-part backing vocal arrangement. With a group this big, and with a lineup so ever changing, it’s really a testament to the core of their musicianship that they have made such a distinctive, familiar sound for themselves. This sound is informed by a number of seemingly disparate parts - rhythms influenced by African funk and pop, lyrics written and presented as matter-of-fact, prosaic storytelling, and a huge, full rock band sound, evoked by seven singers and a rocksolid rhythm section. As an added plus, fuzzy, friendly frontman Neil Haverty also provided some humourous stories about “almost getting into a fight,” a story that resonated with myself, and surely with other hipsters of meek stature in the audience. In a fairly rare feat, it seemed that Kazoo! had gathered three groups that were entirely different in their musical approaches, but offered a night of music that, as a whole, fit perfectly to ring in the autumn weeks. Can we even call them autumn months at this point? Regardless, the evening made for one of the most cohesive Kazoo! events of recent memory, and a few hours of simply great music.

Album Review ∆lt-J’s This Is All Yours DANIELLE SUBJECT There was a lot of hype surrounding the release of alt-J’s latest album, This Is All Yours. Expectations were set high by fans and the media due to the success of their debut album, An Awesome Wave, which gifted indie music fans with something original, different, and generally a little weird. Having named themselves after the keyboard shortcut for the symbol for change (∆), ∆lt-J is a band known for its combination of alternative rock with electronic timbres. Their wicked synths, hiphop influenced beats and haunting vocals present in their first album were thrown together to create something brilliant. Following the release of An Awesome Wave in 2012, alt-J was given the pressing title of being the “next Radiohead” by some critics

– obviously a tough label to live up to. So, let’s keep in mind that since their debut album happened to be mindblowing, they had the added pressure of being a new band and having to make a record that is even better than their first (really great) one. Does This Is All Yours live up to the high standards set by their debut record? Aside from the fact that the track list is slightly excessive (unlike their debut album, which was short and sweet), there are a number of really good tracks. The “Intro” does what it was probably supposed to do – reminds us of alt-J’s weirdness that we recognize and love. The album continues to follow a psychedelic, 90s-alt., folktronica sound, with Joe Newman’s hypnotizing vocals completing the package. A few of my favourite tracks to vibe to are “Every Other Freckle” (creepy lyrics and all), “Choice Kingdom”, “Leaving Nara”, and the Black Keys-esque “Left Hand Free.” Let’s not ignore the calm, dreamy folk sounds that

COURTESY

∆lt-J carries on their distinctive blend of psychedelia, hip-hop and indie with their latest album. accompany “Warm Foothills,” which also features spliced vocals sung by Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes fame.

Overall, ∆lt-J’s This Is All Yours is most definitely worth the listen. Its psychedelic twist makes it a good record to wind down

to- adding a relaxing feel, and makes it a really good album to listen to with some select “cognitive aids.”

Issue 175.6 • Thursday, October 9, 2014

ARTS & CULTURE

The Weekly Scene: Gone Girl 4 SociopathicVillains out of 4 SAMEER CHHABRA Based on a best-selling thriller written by Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl is a David Fincher-directed mysterythriller that asks a simple question: What happened to Amazing Amy? The film opens on the morning of July 5 as Nick Dunne (as in “done”) discovers that his wife of five years has somehow disappeared. In her place is a scene of violence in their living room, and more than a few signs that Amy is certainly not well. The film tells its visual story from Nick’s perspective, while Amy’s diary narrates her point-of-view. We get to see both perspectives onscreen, and the final picture we get is largely disjointed, with many events that are entirely incongruous with Nick and Amy’s assertions. Nick and Amy, much like their literary counterparts, are unreliable. The audience can’t trust their accounts, and as we slowly watch their loving marriage fall apart in flashback, we quickly

realize that something is wrong with Nick, with Amy, or with both of them.

“... perfectly

structured, with each layer leading to more questions and confusion.” As Nick, Ben Affleck plays a role he’s never quite carried before. Nick’s not a “bad guy,” but because his recollection varies so wildly with his wife’s, he becomes incredibly untrustworthy extremely quickly. Amy doesn’t fare much better. Played by Rosamund Pike, Amy is utterly unlikeable, giving off the kind of pretentious Ivy League air that audiences more than love-to-hate. That she disappears so suddenly, and that her diary implies she’s the kind of icy-blonde Hitchcock would have tortured, only adds to the long list of reasons not to believe her testimony. There’s much to be said about the film’s casting. Each actor fills

their role with a level of care and gravity that only comes from a perfect emotional connection with a character. Resonant is a word I would use to describe Gone Girl. The characters resonate with the audience, and each emotional beat is a hit we feel personally. Affleck and Pike are masterful in their roles, but Carrie Coon as Nick’s sister Margo, and Tyler Perry as Johnnie Cochran-like defence attorney Tanner Bolt are also spectacular to watch. Gillian Flynn wrote the film’s screenplay herself, and her skill as a writer is undeniable. Gone Girl is perfectly structured, with each layer leading to more questions and confusion. Her writing refuses to condescend, and character, setting, tone, and mood all coalesce into a gratifying cocktail of mystery and intrigue. The way she makes the film’s already considerable runtime feel even longer without sacrificing a single moment of interest is certainly impressive. I was glued from the beginning through to the end. There’s an undeniable air of uncertainty surrounding Gone Girl. David Fincher’s usual minimalistic style is on glorious display, and his love for

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dialogue-laden scenes is never hidden. His unusual framing techniques, in which he makes would-be meaningful sequences almost entirely arbitrary, work well with a film such is this. Returning to work with Fincher is Jeff Cronenweth, whose cinematography blends with Fincher’s directing. Colours are saturated, and the sickly-green colour associated with a Fincher film makes several reappearances here. Cronenweth and Fincher clearly understand each other, and their complimentary styles only serve

to enhance each individual scene. Simplicity is a quality lost in today’s films, and in an age when directors insist on loading every scene with as much detail as possible, it’s not just impressive, but legendary, that Fincher is able to tell so much with so little. I must make mention of Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’ contributions to the film’s soundtrack. I will be brief: Gone Girl is nothing without Reznor and Ross’s ambient, eclectic, human, demonic, and powerful music. In our attention to visual stimuli, we often neglect auditory factors. What we rarely realize is how important music is to making a scene stand out. I state, without hesitation, that Reznor and Ross helped make this film a masterpiece. At times a love story, at times a critique of modern journalism, and always a pure manipulation of the viewers’ expectations, Gone Girl is an amazing movie. I loved this film. I loved every moment of its manic attention to detail. I loved the way it played with my beliefs and experience. I loved the way it took Hitchcock, King, and Poe and subverted their tropes and ideas. Simply put, I loved Gone Girl.

The Making-Box Hosts Kickoff for Guelph Comedy Fest A new venue for comedy in Guelph JULIA NOEL On Oct. 3 and 4, a few dozen local comedians were dispersed around downtown Guelph. From firsttimers to masters of improv, the comedy crawl had a very successful weekend. The Making-Box Theatre hosted its very first comedy extravaganza on Friday, Oct. 3, on the second floor of 40 Baker Street. Guelph’s first comedy venue presented a wide variety of comedic personalities to a fantastic and responsive crowd. Friday night began with a number of first-time performers making their debuts within the venue. Many of the new comedians were University of Guelph students, and a few others were locals trying out their material. The audience chuckled respectfully for the most part, but some of the new performers really warmed up the crowd effectively for the next show.

The second show of the night consisted of the featured acts – experienced comic Daniel Woodrow, and the Bad Dog Theatre Company – a Toronto-based sketch comedy troupe. The two openers, Joseph Fargiorgio and Daniel Birnberg, were very funny and certainly catered to the younger crowd. Woodrow, whose performance followed, is an up-and-coming comedian on the scene in Toronto, and has made appearances on Much Music’s Video On Trial, as well as in a handful of commercials. Woodrow has worked with some other well-known comedians such as Sarah Silverman, and was the winner of the Brantford Comedy Festival. The Bad Dog Theatre Company performed afterwards, and put on a hilarious improv show later in the evening. They got the crowd involved by asking for suggestions, and playing a game where audience members would yell out “more dirty” or “less dirty,” to skew the scenes into more interesting and awkward scenarios. The three repertory players who entertained the crowd were excitingly diverse in their techniques, and the crowd was kept entertained late into the evening.

NICOLETTE HOANG

Various venues in downtown Guelph hosted a comedy festival put on by The Making-Box comedy troupe. Comedians both fresh and established came together for riotous laughs and great vibes. The hosting team, The Making-Box, hit all the right notes at creating a welcoming and nonjudgmental atmosphere for the

performers, as well as a comfortable and engaging venue for the attendees. Jay Reid, the founder of the new group, kept the energy in the

room on high for the entire night, and cracked many jokes in-between acts. The Making-Box looks forward to a season full of excitement and a very prospective future. Saturday night consisted of hopping from bar-to-bar to see different acts perform. The Sip Club, The Joint Café, ANAF 344, and The Making-Box Theatre, were all part of the madness, and opened their doors to all guests looking for a laugh. Jackie Pirico, Nick Reynoldson, Christina Walkinshaw, Lesley Carlberg, Todd Graham, Mark Debonis, and MCs Lars Classington, and Craig Norris, could be found at The Sip Club, or at The Joint Café in the evening. Sketch comedy acts Beatvox and The Making-Box crew took over ANAF 344, and the night came to an end back at The Making-Box theatre for the Sketch Comedy After Party, featuring The Boys Brave and Tony Ho. Who wouldn’t love the opportunity to laugh for an entire evening? The Guelph comedy festival was very well received, and the Making-Box aims to host more events and festivals in the future.

ARTS & CULTURE

Weezer - Everything Will Be Alright in the End Rivers Cuomo and co. still have lots to say, but to mixed results WILL WELLINGTON The first thing anyone heard from Weezer’s new record, Everything Will Be Alright in the End, was “Back to the Shack.” Debuted in February on the second Weezer Cruise, the song shocked fans with its candor. “I’m sorry, guys, I didn’t realize / that I needed you so much,” confessed singer/songwriter/guitarist Rivers Cuomo to a boatload of adoring fans. This wasn’t the first time Cuomo apologized in song. He did the same years ago, on Make Believe, when he begged the world to “Pardon Me.” Back then he had relatively little to apologize for: nothing more than a few records that didn’t measure up to Weezer’s first two discs, plus a reputation

for being a bit of a tyrant. In the years that followed, Weezer jumped the shark more times than most fans care to count, utterly trashing their reputations with a series of witless PR moves, including some terribly goofy cover art and a truly horrendous song with Lil’ Wayne. If Cuomo had addressed Weezer’s alienation from its fanbase before that balmy February day in the tropics, he had never done it so frankly or so well. Upon first listen, “Back to the Shack,” in which Cuomo dedicates himself to “Rockin’ out like it’s ‘ninety-four” (the year Weezer released The Blue Album, their beloved debut record), charted a course for comeback paradise. After a few further spins, however, the song revealed unsettling inconsistencies. Sonically, “Back to the Shack” hardly resembles the band’s acclaimed early material, as Cuomo himself indicated in his appearance on comedian Marc Maron’s WTF podcast. Then there’s the fact that the apologetic first verse gives way to a self-satisfied second verse and an absurdly dismissive bridge: “And if we die in obscurity, / oh well. At least we raised some hell.” If “Back to the Shack” is EWBAITE’s

Album of the Week: The Wild Hunt

mission statement, what mission, exactly, does it state? The rest of the album hardly clears things up. Of the other songs, “I’ve Had It Up to Here” speaks most explicitly to Weezer’s jeopardized legacy, but it’s no less bewildering. “Don’t wanna compromise my art for universal appeal,” declares Cuomo in what seems to be an extended reference to the mistakes made on Weezer’s last two records, Raditude and Hurley, both of which feature, much to the chagrin of Weezer purists, mainstream pop songwriters. But in the chorus, Cuomo lashes out at his fans: “I tried to give my best to you, / but you plugged up your ears.” Before attempting to resolve these contradictions, let me just say that they probably won’t matter to most listeners. If you’re interested in huge hooks, off-the-wall solos, and compelling (and only occasionally clichéd) lyricism, there’s no need for intellectual backflips. Without a doubt, EWBAITE features the most consistently rewarding tunes that Cuomo has written in over a decade, tunes like “Ain’t Got Nobody,” “Da Vinci,” and “Foolish Father.” Even the record’s sillier moments possess a level of craftsmanship worlds away from the artless idiocy of Raditude’s “Can’t Stop Partying.” The confusion of purpose apparent on EWBAITE and the records that preceded it are usually taken as the product of a songwriter long past his “best-before” date. Yet interviews with Cuomo—including the aforementioned WTF appearance— reveal that he revels in accidental ambiguities. For all his reputation as a perfectionist, he likes to lose control a little bit. If we are meant to see those parts of Weezer’s discography that seem most misshapen, illconceived, and stupid as beautiful for being so, everything post-Make Believe (Weezer’s last transparently coherent effort) comes into sharp focus as part of the tradition in art that asks us to appreciate the

COURTESY

Weezer returns to form with their newest album, Everything Will Be Alright in the End, but is it too little and too late at this point in their career? messy, the shallow, the broken, the random, and the ruined, a tradition that includes Coleridge, Duchamp, and Jeff Koons. Cuomo begs his fans’ forgiveness one moment and berates them the next, but that’s not because he’s a bad songwriter. It’s because he’s a better one than the pious practitioners of music criticism have made him out to be. Most commentators presume Cuomo’s music to be utterly sincere, disregarding the distinct disingenuousness of “Beverly Hills” and most of Pinkerton, Weezer’s most lionized record. To such objectors, I point out that Cuomo insists, in interviews, that even the title of the new record may be read as both earnest and asinine. But Cuomo’s intention is beside the point. In the end, it is we listeners who decide whether everything will be alright, whether we choose to writhe in dissatisfaction over a

Upcoming events

COURTESY PHOTO

As most of us head off this weekend for our familial homes, down the winding Ontario highways and train tracks littered with orange and gold leaves of early October, we need a soundtrack to accompany our full bellies and the kilometre signs passing us by. Sweden’s Kristiann Mattson (The Tallest Man on Earth), with his fast picking fingers and scratchy Dylan-esque voice, feels like fall. This is a beautifully curated album that makes me feel like cuddling up with a good book, sharing wine with friends, hiking in the woods, and catching up over long turkey dinners in warm candlelit rooms. It feels like a cozy knit sweater and sunshine on your face with a hot coffee in your hands. Listen to this while you’re pulling out the Scrabble board, or on Sunday night when you remember you have a paper due on Tuesday morning. This album will bring you calm; this album feels like perfection for this week. I hope you enjoy it. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Oct. 7 to 11: Art installation at Zavitz Gallery, “Untitled” by Jenn Aitken and Matt Schust. Oct. 9: Thursday At Noon Concert Series presents Glenn Ginn and friends, MacKinnon 107. Oct. 10: Strings At Noon Concert Series presents Penderecki String Quartet, Summerlee Science Complex Atrium. Oct. 11: GAIN Music Thanksgiving Showcase, featuring Good for Grapes and Texas King. Van Gogh’s/DSTRCT.

new record that isn’t like The Blue Album and Pinkerton, or to adopt a new mode of listening that reveals untold value in even the most embarrassing parts of Weezer’s back catalogue. Weezer are, and have always been, interested in staging a sort of moral dilemma, in asking the listener to sympathize powerfully with a deeply distasteful subjectivity; on Pinkerton, a self-absorbed, Orientalizing misogynist, on EWBAITE, the addled geek we might think Cuomo has become – the “Foolish Father” who stages historical re-enactments and cranks Lil’ Wayne in his Honda. Confronted with such an individual, we must face the question of how we connect to another person and what kind of people we want to be. And what, then, can we do but forgive our foolish Weezer?

TheON What are you doing this semester?

Why not come volunteer for The Ontarion!

Issue 175.6 • Thursday, October 9, 2014

SPORTS & HEALTH

MOHAMMAD MELEBARI

The Guelph Gryphons baseball team enjoyed a 3-1 weekend record, splitting an 8-5 loss and a 10-6 win with the Laurier Golden Hawks on Oct. 4, followed up with two wins (12-2 and 9-3) against the Queens Gaels on Oct. 5.

Storm rally in back-to-back wins Suter and Dickinson shine in comebacks STEPHANIE CORATTI The Guelph Storm moved to 3-1-0 on the season after back-to-back come back wins at home against the Plymouth Whalers on Oct. 3 and visiting the Owen Sound Attack on Oct. 4. In the hunt for their first win on home ice, the Storm found themselves in an early hole against the Whalers. The visiting squad controlled most of the first period, with Matthew Campagna pocketing the first tally quick off a face-off to give the Whalers a 1-0 lead. Frustrations boiled over to end the first, giving way to a five-on-three man advantage for the Whalers to start the middle frame. Wasting no time, Victor Crus Rydberg found the back of the net just 20 seconds in, pushing the Whalers’ lead to two. That would be it for Plymouth on the night, however, as

the Storm would respond with four unanswered goals to take the game 4-2.

“Dickinson would make no mistake, scoring the first Storm goal on home ice for the 2014-15 season...” While still shorthanded, Pius Suter forced a Whalers turnover, feeding the puck up to Jason Dickinson, in his first game back in the Storm line up since being reassigned by the Dallas Stars. Dickinson would make no mistake, scoring the first Storm goal on home ice for the 2014-15 season and cutting the two-goal deficit in half. Merely two minutes later, Guelph native Stephen Pierog rushed in across the slot, putting

the puck past Whalers goaltender Alexander Nedelijkovic to tie the game. Dickinson and Suter would continue to be a pair to be reckoned with for the go-ahead goal. Dickinson managed to find Suter through a Whalers defender and the coined Swiss Sensation put the home team up 3-2 after a fivehole tally. Suter would hammer in a rebound off a Dickinson shot late in the third to solidify the 4-2 win, putting Guelph’s first home win of the season in the books. With two goals and an assist, Suter registered a career-high night and was named the game’s first star. Storm goaltender Justin Nichols was strong in net, stopping 17 of 19 shots, while the Storm fired a total of 34 shots at Nedelijkovic. The following night in Owen Sound had a similar story. With a total of 14 penalty minutes being handed out in the first period alone, the Storm were down a man for eight of them. The Attack took advantage, with Ethan Szypula putting one past Matthew Mancina on the powerplay after the Storm goaltender

made an incredible initial save on the Attack’s Damir Sharipzyanov. Suter would continue his hot hand, tying the game at one as he took to the races to outskate the Attack defenceman and put the puck past goaltender Jack Flinn. The Storm would still head to the dressing room after twenty minutes of play down a goal as Owen Sound’s Daniel Milne scored his third of the season on the powerplay, putting the home team up 2-1.

“The game winner came at the hands of local boy Garrett McFadden...” In the second, the Storm came out with all kinds of pressure but struggled to solve Owen Sound goaltender, Flinn, who made several outstanding saves in a scoreless period. Dickinson,

Pierog, and Tyler Bertuzzi all had great chances for the tying marker, but failed to capitalize. The Storm outshot the Attack 18-6 in the middle frame. The final period saw dynamic duo of Suter and Dickinson connect once again, with Suter making a beautiful pass to Dickinson for the tap-in to tie the game at two on the powerplay. The game winner came at the hands of local boy Garrett McFadden, who made an incredible end-to-end rush followed up with great hands for the deke around the Attack defenceman to put the puck past Flinn. The Storm would take their third straight win by a score of 3-2. Suter would earn first star honours for the second night in a row with a goal and an assist. Mancina, who made several great saves throughout the game, stopped 26 of 28 shots. Attack goaltender Flinn faced 40 shots from the visiting squad, stopping 37 of them. The next contest for the defending OHL Champions comes at home against the North Bay Battalion on Oct. 10 in what will be a rematch of the 2014 OHL Final.

SPORTS & HEALTH

The Top Five: Natural cold remedies the flavour. Ginger tea is also known to be a good cure for the common hangover.

The season is here – feel better naturally JULIA NOEL Unfortunately for students everywhere, midterm season is the same as cold and flu season. This list is a compilation of easily located and prepared natural remedies that will boost your immune system, and keep you healthy and energized so you can do your best on the test. 5. Ginger Fresh ginger is known to relieve gas, cramps, and upset stomach symptoms. It boosts the immune system by helping you sweat. A healthy sweat detoxifies the body and revitalizes the immune system

JACQUELINE VIA CC BY-NC 2.0

by making you “sweat out the cold.” Ginger tea can be made by steeping one or two slices of fresh ginger root in a cup of hot water for five to seven minutes. You can add honey – another cold remedy – to improve

4. Honey Honey is a very effective cure for a sore throat. Just swallow one teaspoon for instant relief from the itchy pain. Honey is also a great substitute for sugar in tea because sugar actually weakens the immune system. Honey is a natural energybooster as well. It contains natural sugars and antioxidants, as well as amino acids and carbohydrates, which help to provide an extra energy enhancement. 3. Yoga or light physical activity Sweating and stretching sore muscles is a good way to relieve physical stress on the body. Yoga can be a relaxing way to bounce back from cold symptoms. The intense stretches, paired with the breathing

2. Sleep Perhaps the most difficult to maintain, an adequate sleep schedule prevents future sickness. Getting enough sleep each night is important for staying healthy in cold and flu season. Amidst all of the studying, a power nap can be helpful for your brain to stay attentive and focused. A cup of warm milk before bed is known to be an effective sleep-inducer.

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techniques, are targeted towards independent muscle groups, which help the body absorb an increased amount of oxygen. A good sweat also helps detoxify the body of any unwanted toxins.

1. Zinc lozenges Zinc lozenges are known to reduce the length and severity of colds. They help to clear the sinuses and reduce the pain of a sore throat. Zinc prevents the rhinovirus (the virus which causes colds) from multiplying, and therefore reduces the length of the common cold. They are very common, just look for an organic brand that does not contain much sugar.

Spinal Cord stimulation simulates movement in rat subjects New research exposes an exciting step forward SAMEER CHHABRA By sending electrical signals to stimulate severed spinal cords in rat subjects, researchers from the École Polytechnique F�� é�� d�� é�� rale de Lausanne (EPFL) in Vaud, Switzerland have been able to allow rats to walk again. The study was published in the journal Science Translational Medicine on Sept. 24, 2014. The brain functions and controls the body by sending electrical signals down a specific neural pathway. When the brain cannot communicate with parts of the body, like when the spinal cord is severed for

example, these electrical signals are unable to travel, resulting in events such as paralysis. However, by using a pharmacological cocktail injected in the bottom half of a severed spinal cord, as well as a machine sending precise electrical signals, researchers at EPFL soon discovered that they were able to simulate the act of walking in rat subjects. Since the rats were unable to hold themselves up naturally, a robot was used to simulate natural walking posture. “We have complete control of the rat’s hind legs,” said EPFL neuroscientist Gregoire Courtine. “The rat has no voluntary control of its limbs, but the severed spinal cord can be reactivated and stimulated to perform natural walking. We can control in real-time how the rat moves forward and how high it lifts its legs.” As research continued, scientists discovered that there was a direct

relationship between how high a rat lifted its legs and the frequency of the electrical signal sent to its spinal cord. Using an algorithm to carefully account for varying surface elevations – like stairs and slopes – researchers were able to send electrical signals at specific frequencies to mimic natural walking behaviour. Co-author and fellow EPFL neuroengineer Silvestro Micera explains that being able to understand how to properly manipulate damaged spinal cords can lead to the development of better neuroprosthetic devices. “We believe that this technology could one day significantly improve the quality of life of people confronted with

neurological disorders,” explained Micera. For humans currently suffering from debilitating spinal injury, the research comes as a possibility of returning to a life with complete bodily control. Adding to the excitement is the announcement that Courtine and Micera’s team will be conducting human studies as early as next summer. Putting together the monitoring and rehabilitation technology used on the rat subjects, Courtine and Micera have developed a new “Gait Platform” that consists of custom-made equipment that generates information about leg and body movement. The Gait Platform consists of treadmills, an overground

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Upcoming events

Friday, Oct. 9: - Women’s Basketball: vs. Grant MacEwan Griffins (2 p.m., W.F. Mitchell Athletic Centre) - Women’s Rugby: vs. Laurier Golden Hawks (5 p.m., Varsity Field) - Gryphons Football Friday Night Lights: vs. Carleton Ravens (7 p.m., Alumni Stadium) Saturday, Oct. 10: - Women’s hockey: vs. York (2 p.m., Gryphon Centre) - Men’s hockey: vs. York (7:30 p.m., Gryphon Centre)

support system, 14 infrared cameras that detect markers on patients’ bodies, as well as two video cameras to record additional information. Courtine is quick to emphasize that the Gait Platform is purely for research. “The Gait Platform is not a rehabilitation centre,” explains Courtine. “It is a research laboratory where we will be able to study and develop new therapies using very specialized technology in close collaboration with medical experts here at the [University Hospital of Lausanne], like physiotherapists and doctors.” Regardless, this new research represents an exciting step forward.

Are you someone who has an interest in the inner workings of a not-for-profit newspaper? Do you have an interest in being part of a team & working towards making change on campus & in the community? The Ontarion’s Board of Directors is looking to add new members to their team. Students and community members welcomed.

Contact ontarion@uoguelph.ca for more information

Thanksg The Ontarion’s editorial staff shares their traditions, memories, and what they are thankful for this season

As the weekend approaches, we all begin to think about whom we will get to see, where we will get to go, and the delicious food we will get to eat. The first long weekend of the school year, for many it’s a time to try and put midterms out of our minds, and enjoy our time spent with the ones we love. Here, we have asked all of our editors what this weekend and this season means to them, and how they plan on spending their long weekends. What will you do?

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EMILY JONES Thanksgiving means one thing to me – spending quality time with those I love most. The weekend consists of walks in the trees, bottles of red wine, and enjoying and preparing some of the most delicious comfort foods. My family is scattered across the province, and I do not always get to see everyone, every year. A few thanksgivings ago I was able to make the long road-trip to Pembroke, Ontario, to visit with my Dad’s side of the family. The drive up is always nostalgic. The winding roads through the Ottawa Valley at this time of year are always filled with fall colours that warm me up inside – these are memories I will never forget, and hope to revisit in years to come. This weekend, I plan on spending time with those I love most, and cooking my first Thanksgiving dinner for my immediate family in the apartment I call home.

EMILIO GHLOUM On this joyous holiday, there are many things I am grateful for including family, friends and the opportunity to go to school. As the semesters have gone by, I have learned to become more organized with my schoolwork. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I have begun transferring these wicked awesome skills I have gained towards the holiday feast. This year, I’m stepping up my game. Every Thanksgiving, I always enjoy the leftovers more than the actual meal. Typically, I take turkey, stuffing, gravy, and cranberry sauce, and shove it all into an Italian panini. The immense glory of the sandwich is unparalleled. My game plan is to feign excitement with loud and enticing descriptions of the food present on the table – “Wow, those mashed potatoes look amazing! I’m going to eat all of them!” As I watch everyone fill up on starchy delicious potatoes, I can picture my sandwich getting bigger and bigger with all of the leftovers. Oh yes. As the meal ends and everybody is about to fall asleep, this is where I shine. I take initiative and bring all the dishes into the kitchen by myself. The leftovers are now unguarded and ready to pack. Success.

ALYSSA OTTEMA I’ve come to think of my main Thanksgiving tradition as long hours spent driving in a car. Between three sets of grandparents spread across the province and two sets of parents to contend with, my boyfriend and I potentially spend more time driving to see our families than we do actually seeing them. In our first year of splitting holidays, what kept me going was the knowledge that mashed potatoes and gravy awaited me on the other side of a three-hour car ride (note: if you’re to know one thing about me, it should be that I have an undying love for mashed potatoes and gravy). Over the years, however, I’ve come to appreciate those hours in the car with the person I am most thankful for. With school, work, and generally busy lifestyles, we don’t always have the luxury of spending three uninterrupted hours together, so I find I’m really thankful for these hours of good music, beautiful scenery out the window, and time with the wonderful guy who so graciously does all of the actual driving.

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sgiving at The Ontarion

STEPHANIE CORATTI Growing up, I was lucky enough to have four cousins (in addition to my brother) that are realistically more like siblings. Vacations, holidays, birthdays – they were all spent together. Over the years it has become increasingly more difficult to get, what I like to call, the Original Six together due to school and work schedules, and just the process of growing up. Thanksgiving is one of those rare times we ADRIEN POTVIN get to all be together again, and it’s almost My Thanksgiving experience has historically (almost!) as good as the food. been a bit more localized than Alyssa’s or Emily’s, but nonetheless it’s always an enjoyable time. My grandmother, at 85, has been and is still the glue that binds the weekend together. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone with so much command of such a small kitchen! The scents and sights are unforgettable – cream of broccoli soup, mashed potatoes, peas, carrots, turkey, tourtière. The key is in the simplicity and honesty with which she cooks. Aside from my family, a lot of my friends in Guelph are really fine cooks, so when we get together for our Thanksgiving dinner at any given place, bountiful, heartfelt food is to be found and subsequently devoured. After that, tryptophan dreamscapes await those who take the plunge into a post-gorge nap.

y DANIELLE SUBJECT My house is the host-house for all family occasions. Twice a year, Thanksgiving and Christmas, my mom puts away her bitterness towards hosting and cooking to bring us a delicious family dinner. The joke in the family is that my vegetarian mother cooks the turkey – it’s an ironic sight to walk into the kitchen and see her stuffing a turkey. After being away at school for a while, having the family over is awesome, and reminiscing with my two younger brothers is always a plus. With the front of the house covered in Fall decorations, and my family being in the same place at once, I always feel like a kid again. Having divorced parents, I get the luxury of having two turkey dinners every Thanksgiving – my mom’s side is on Sunday and my dad’s side is on Monday. My grandmother on my dad’s side makes the absolute best stuffing in the entire world (my mom is the only person who can get remotely close to copying it). Finally, the biggest thing I look forward to is seeing my puppy, Jersey, and getting to take cute Fall selfies with him in the backyard.

MATTHEW AZEVEDO My favourite Thanksgivings have been spent at my family cottage, a few hours north of Toronto. One year we crammed 12 people, 2 cats, 1 dog, and a euphonium into its 3 small bedrooms. My aunt made her famous stir-fry Saturday night and on Sunday morning the turkey was in the oven. By Sunday afternoon we realized that the oven had shut off sometime after breakfast, and panic ensued. The various cooks brainstormed, the cats chased the dog and someone played the euphonium. In the end, we all ate Turkey Sunday night. Not sure how we got there, but it was fun.

r PHOTO BY JACK HINDS

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516 SPORTS & HEALTH

Gryphons field hockey enjoys 2-1 weekend Third match-up features Chute hat trick paired with 5-1 win JOANNE PEARCE The weekend of Oct. 4 featured three contests for the Gryphons varsity field hockey team. A 2-1 win against McGill started the Gryphons off on the right foot, followed by a Sunday morning 3-2 loss against the University of Toronto Varsity Blues on Oct. 5. In the third and final match, the Gryphons defeated Queens by a score of 5-1 in an exciting game. Guelph has secured second place overall in the OUA standings, and the game against Queens brought their season standing to 8-2. Though the weather proved cold, a good number of spectators showed up to Varsity Field on the afternoon of Oct. 5 to cheer the Gryphons on as they went head-to-head against the Queens Gaels. The game’s first point went to Queens, a forward managing

to get past Guelph’s goaltender on a short corner. The Gryphons, not discouraged, came back aggressively to get a goal of their own, only two minutes later by forward Alison Chute – the first of three for Chute in the game. The game continued with many thrilling moments. Guelph’s second goal, scored by Erin Houle, came soon after Chute’s and put the home team in the lead. Great stick handling by forward Crysta Stubbs and passing between defensive player Melissa Vogl and midfielder Nicole Paola prevented Queens from getting through to score another goal. Although the first half saw a lot of short corners by Queens, Guelph’s strong defence and maintenance to the sides of the field kept the game in their favour into the second half. With Guelph still in the lead, the pace of the game picked up as Queens became more offensive. Compared to the first, however, the second half saw more short corners in Guelph’s favour, helping to slow down Queens and give Guelph more opportunities against the visiting defence. The match did see a back and forth struggle up and down the field.

JOANNE PEARCE

Veteran Erin Houle goes on the attack during the Guelph Gryphons 5-1 win over the Queens Gaels on Oct. 5. Defence players Jessica Donaldson and Laura Straus noticeably helped the team when the Gaels came close to scoring, bringing the ball back up the side of the field. Moving the ball with quick passes up to the forwards, it was Chute who scored the next goal in the second half with a lift into the net, bringing the game to 3-1.

The Gryphons continued to steadily challenge the Gaels throughout the rest of the game, cutting off passes and moving the ball horizontally across the fields and down the wings with the help of midfielder Danica Davies. This method proved fruitful, as Chute scored her third goal at the 61 minute mark of the game,

earning her an impressive hat trick. Two minutes later, Gryphon Melissa Vogl scored the last point of the game, bringing the end score to an impressive 5-1. With the season winding down, the next game for the Gryphons will be against the Waterloo Warriors in Toronto on Oct. 19.

Gryphons men’s hockey drop home opener in overtime 2-1 loss moves Gryphons to 0-1-1 this season DAVID MCGARRY The Gryphons men’s hockey team lost their home opener 2-1 in overtime against the York Lions on Oct. 3, moving to 0-1-1 on the season. The energy in the Gryphon Centre was electric as the young Guelph team, with only two fourth year players, took to the ice in front of a large crowd, excited for the start of a new hockey season. Both teams seemed fixated on gaining an advantage right from the first faceoff. The fast paced, back-and-forth action between the two teams could have given a spectator a neck injury. Thanks to some stellar saves from rookie goaltender Andrew D’Agostini, Guelph was able to keep the puck out and pocket one of their own at 15:20 in the first when Jordan Mock buried

a shot after a scramble around the net. With that goal, Guelph was able to head to the dressing room up by one, despite being outshot 7-10 in the period. It was more of the same to start the second period. Both teams were giving it their all to try to put their team ahead, but strong goaltending kept both squads frustrated. D’Agostini was stopping everything and it seemed like he was never going to get beat, until 13:53 when a point shot from York defenseman Paul Sohor was tipped by Trevor Peterson for the tying mark. Guelph didn’t sit back though, continuing to pressure the Lions defensemen who seemed to be tiring from the Gryphons strong forecheck. Goal-scorer Mock ripped a shot off the crossbar, and Nicklas Huard just missed what was a sure tap-in. Despite these two great chances, Guelph was unable to convert. To begin the third, Guelph came out to an explosive start, and this time it was York goaltender Chris Perugini’s turn to steal the show. It seemed certain that Guelph was going to score, but somehow Perugini was able to

RYAN PRIDDLE

Gryphon Nick Huard battles for position with York Lions forward Mark Cross during the Guelph Gryphons 2-1 home opening loss on Oct. 3. keep the puck out. With the way both goalies were playing the game seemed destined for overtime, but with only 3:00 left in the game Gryphons forward Trevor Morbeck took a fourminute penalty. York pressed hard to end the game in regulation, but to Guelph’s relief a York forward took a tripping penalty with 1:47 remaining, giving way to four-on-four hockey. The period

ended scoreless however, and both teams went to their benches to prepare for overtime. The total shots through three periods were 29-24 in favour of Guelph. If the fans were expecting a long and dramatic finish, they were to be sorely disappointed. Only 57 seconds into the extra frame, a Guelph player attempted a cross-ice pass that resulted in a costly interception. York’s Dylan Smoskowitz

buried his chance past D’Agostini to secure the win for the visitors. The disappointment in the arena was unmistakable, as both the players and fans felt that Guelph displayed a stronger performance. Guelph’s next game is on Oct. 10 when they visit the Western Mustungs, followed by their next home game on Oct. 11 against the Windsor Lancers.

Issue 175.6 • Thursday, October 9, 2014

LIFE

Perfecting being Perpetually Poor Managing the debt you’ve accrued GABRIELLE DICKERT For so many of us, student debt is unavoidable. There will come a time (or a number of times) in every student’s life where we just feel weighed down, even suffocated by the debt we need to put ourselves in just to obtain our degree and get the education we need for our future careers. But aside from tuition and legitimate living costs, a lot of students’ debts come from irresponsible spending. I sat down with Alex B to talk about his debt crisis - a story I’ve heard many times in my years at Guelph. For Alex, it’s not just about OSAP

piling up. For him, he found that the government just wasn’t giving him enough money to live, so he did what many students do and asked his parents to co-sign for a line of credit. He accumulated this along with two credit cards totaling $2000. He said his low point was when one of the cards was deactivated due to months of missed payments. For many students, it’s not an obvious “I’m incredibly poor” situation. Getting OSAP disbursements or credit cards and lines of credit can often be looked at as ‘getting paid,’ when in reality you’re just accruing debt. For Alex, his parents bailed him out on many occasions when he just couldn’t make his payments, so instead of sitting down and creating a budget, he just kept going to his parents for money. This can be the situation for a lot of students. It’s tough for

us, and it’s tough for our parents as well, because they just don’t know when to say no. Do you really need the money, or are you just going out for another night downtown? Often these tough financial times take a toll on the relationship we have with our parents. They can get frustrated with our spending habits, and in Alex’s case, instead of sitting down and creating a budget with him, his parents would often resort to yelling at him and telling him he needed to keep his debt down. Well that’s easier said than done when you have no experience of creating a budget, or of sticking to it. Being financially responsible is something you need to learn to do – and it’s a process – not something that can happen overnight. Controlling your debt level is so important. It gets really tricky

when you have a credit card (or multiple cards), OSAP, and a line of credit with your bank. Like Alex, you might find it unmanageable to pay the minimum payment on your credit card each month, but if this is your financial situation, it’s going to be much harder after graduation than what you’re dealing with now. Many students are even finding a job after school is a hard enough task to complete. The answer isn’t a quick fix. Asking your parents for money is not a sustainable solution. It takes serious spending control and lifestyle changes. Talk to a financial advisor at your bank or visit the third floor of the UC to find out what can be done about your personal financial situation. The truth of the matter is that it’s your responsibility, not your parents, to get in control of your finances. You really need to

sit down and get a payment plan on track for any credit cards that still have balances, even if you don’t have the money – especially if you think you don’t have the money. What you need to remember though, is that there are so many people in the same situation. There are so many people with incredibly high student loans and credit cards that were maxed with unnecessary purchases and nights at the bar that cost far more than what was allocated in their budget. Being perpetually poor means managing the debt you’ve accrued while attending university with the tools made available and gaining cognizance of your spending habits. You can’t beat yourself up over past poor spending; you can only deal with the future. Minimizing unnecessary expenditures is step one to managing your finances.

Procrastination – moving past it A theory on how to conquer it the easy way KATE SINIPOSTOLOVA We all procrastinate. I was procrastinating as I was writing this article, and you are probably procrastinating now as you’re reading it. Procrastination is ok – it’s our brain’s response to long-term goals. Our brains aren’t very good at thinking about them, so they delay having to deal with long-term goals until they become short-term, for example: a final exam tomorrow, rather than a final in two months. Sadly, this response isn’t great when you’re procrastinating preparing for your midterms (which are in less than two weeks), making a victory over procrastination extremely necessary in order to get the grades you want. For me, as for most people, starting to study (or do anything) is the hardest part. Once you start the process, it’s easier to get going (otherwise known as inertia). There are many ways to get yourself to work, two of which are: forcing yourself and experiencing lots of negative emotions, or tricking your brain and finding pleasure in studying. Honestly, I would pick the easy way, so here’s how to do it: knowing that your brain procrastinates when it

recognizes a long-term goal, make your long-term goals short-term! Basically, what you need to do is break up your pile of studying into bite-size pieces, and just start. For example: my goal right now is to do one study question each in Physics, Chemistry, Biology, and Calculus every day. Just one. Even if the question only asks to put one measly dot on a graph. It seems like nothing, right? Like I’m never going to be prepared for midterms, but guess what? That thinking is what gets me to start studying, which is the hardest part of studying to overcome. I think, “Oh, I only need to do one question in each subject, that’ll take about 20 minutes”, and I just start doing them. Once I do the first one, I gain momentum and the rest of the problems in the module, study set, or problem set don’t seem as daunting of a task. I end up doing a lot more than I anticipated, or maybe even wanted to do, which brings me one step closer to success rather than taking a step back by just looking at my pile of studying and not doing anything (which I used to do all the time). This mind trick is my key tool in getting things done, and I hope it works for you. Remember, midterms are a very short-term goal right now! Go and do one – yes just one – problem! (Even if it is just putting a microscopic dot on a graph). Even if you don’t end up studying everything you wanted to today, you’ll have started, and you’ll have overcome the most difficult part of the study process. Good luck!

DICK JENSEN VIA CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Procrastination is something that we deal with on the regular. Take this article as a push to get working; the payoff is far greater than the pain.

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LIFE

Science Avenue: Ebola

SAMEER CHHABRA

of five strains of ebolavirus. When individuals speak about an “Ebola outbreak,” they refer to the unmitigated spread of Ebola Virus Disease (EVD). Additionally, Zaire ebolavirus is the most deadly of all five known strains, is the strain with the highest fatalities, and is currently responsible for the Ebola epidemic in West Africa.

What is Ebola? Whenever a particular disease gets enormous media attention, like Ebola has received in the past few months, false information is often spread around. People worry about their risk of infection, individuals inaccurately self-diagnose, and most importantly, a lot of people get worried about something that will ultimately have no little-to-no effect on their lives. The recent Ebola virus epidemic in West Africa has not been without its notoriety. News-media perpetuating the types of falsities that are associated with little research has led to a lot people getting very worried about their lives when they have very little reason to worry at all. The Ontarion already published an article on Ebola a few weeks ago, and the coverage was both an accurate representation of the current geopolitical situation, as well as an accurate representation of Ebola itself. To clarify, the term Ebola refers to the genus Ebolavirus, Ebola Virus Disease, Zaire ebolavirus, or one

How does Ebola Work? EVD is a disease of humans and other primates. Though one acquires the virus through direct contact with the blood or bodily fluids of an infected organism, Ebola has not been documented to spread through the air. This is incredibly important to recognize – unless an individual has come into direct contact with an infected organism, there is very little risk. Infected organisms can only infect healthy organisms after the onset of first symptoms. The first symptoms of Ebola resemble the typical flu – fever, sore throat, muscle pain, and headaches. Sometimes, individuals report feeling chest pain, hiccups, and shortness of breath. However, vomiting, diarrhea, and rash soon follow, continuing with decreased liver and kidney functions. Eventually, internal and external bleeding sets in, concluding with multiple organ dysfunction syndrome (multiple organ failure). Typically, Ebola’s incubation period (the time between infection and first symptom manifestation) is eight to 10 days, but it can also vary between

An Often Misconceived Virus with Deadly Conceptions

two and 21 days. If individuals do not recover from the first symptoms, death occurs between seven to 16 days after first symptoms. Why is Ebola Important? Medicine is the practice of the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of disease. It might seem unnecessary to define medicine, but I feel it’s important to make the point that medicine has become a wildly political tool. There are obvious economic benefits to figuring out how to cure and prevent EVD, but the purely scientific study of Ebola exists simply to catalogue the information in the encyclopaedia of collected human knowledge. However, Ebola, much like all diseases that seem to exist solely outside the borders of the first world, is important because it highlights the very political and economic differences between members of this planet. There is a simple truth that third-world nations are not equipped to deal with a pandemic of any kind. There’s either not enough money, or not enough interest, or not enough attention being paid, and pandemics only really seem to become a widespread concern once there is risk of the first world becoming infected. In fact, the current spread of Ebola has largely been attributed to the reuse of needles and the absolute lack of universal precautions in West African hospitals and care facilities. This is not a result of clinical negligence or even misinformation – it’s the result of a dire lack of resources.

NIAID VIA CC BY 2.0

A close up of the Ebola virus from the surface of a Vero cell. What is the Future of Ebola? In the past few months, firstworld leaders have begun to pledge amounts of money to help the citizens of West Africa fight back against the spread of Ebola. Great concern has also been expressed at the possibility of volunteers and foreign-aid workers from the first world returning with Ebola to their home countries. What happens if an unknowing infected individual returns to Australia, or England, or Canada, or America?

There is currently a man in Dallas, Texas who is fighting for his life because he has Ebola. As I mentioned earlier, unless his physicians are purposely or criminally negligent, there is very little risk of the virus spreading in America. The future of Ebola, then, is the future of medical care in the third world. We will eventually find a way to counteract the effects of Ebola – a vaccine will be developed. On our route to medical perfection, however, we must not forget those who needlessly sacrificed their lives.

The Fashion Weekly Staying trendy on a budget: thrift shopping DIANA KURZEJA What do you do when you want to look good, but find yourself living off of ramen noodles and Kraft Dinner because you’re so in debt you start to wonder if broke isn’t too nice a way of putting it? It might not seem like it but it’s possible to stay fashionable on a limited budget. One of the things I’d recommend to those trying to stay trendy and unique is to head over to the local Good Will and do a little bit of thrift shopping. You can scope out unique finds that you won’t see anywhere else, and the best part is that it’s all affordable! There’s no guarantee that you’ll find something you love every time you go thrift shopping, but it’s definitely worth the gamble.

Here are my top five reasons that you should try out a thrift shop 1. Unique finds – when you buy something at a thrift store, you most likely won’t see anyone else wearing what you’re wearing. You get to seek out the pieces you like most and imagine the possibilities they hold, almost like a scavenger hunt. 2. You’ll save cash – this one is kind of a given. I went thrift shopping this weekend and bought two sweaters for under twenty dollars. It was definitely one of the cheapest shopping trips I’ve had yet, and it can really give you a perspective on how much you can save! 3. You’re helping the environment – the clothes that you buy at a thrift shop are in turn not being stuffed into a landfill. You’re giving the clothes a second chance at life, and are helping the community as well as the environment by recycling clothing.

4. Mix and match – the fun about thrift shopping is that you get to mix the old vintage pieces with some of your more recent purchases. It’s all about creating your outfit, and thrift shopping gives you the freedom to create a unique and trendy outfit however you see fit. 5. You have a story – vintage clothing can be a great conversation piece, and can really intrigue people about your style. Rarely will people believe that you bought what you’re wearing from a thrift shop, and your clothes also have history to them. If you feel slightly embarrassed about going to a thrift shop, don’t worry. You would be surprised to find that there are plenty of shoppers just like you thrift shopping for the same reasons. And remember, you’re doing the environment a favour, not to mention your wallet, while staying trendy and stylish in your very own way!

JAMES JOSE

Thrift shopping is an excellent way to expand and personalize your wardrobe for less. Above, Emma Fuller searches at Wild Rose.

Issue 175.6 • Thursday, October 9, 2014

That which is old, is made new again Restoring a relationship, by restoring an old motorcycle JACK HINDS The deep, rhythmic thumping of a single-cylinder Harley, the grunt of an old two-cylinder Honda, or the shriek of a brand new sport bike; all unmistakable noises, even for those distant from the world of motorcycling. For some, it is a call to ride, others a reason to double-check their blind spot before changing lanes, and others still a reason to be wary.

“Motorcyclists are a strange and wonderful group of people.” Motorcyclists are a strange and wonderful group of people. As children, most of us were told to steer clear of them, lest we get sucked into their world and become drug addicts, trouble makers, or long red smears down the centre lane of the 401. But for a moment, let me paint you a different picture. One of a welcoming, open-minded group of people of vastly different backgrounds who share a common love for a piece of machinery that, to their minds, gifts them with a level of freedom and a feeling of peace unmatched by any other experience. And how might one find their place in this community? You could certainly go down the well-worn path of throwing caution to the wind, buying a 250cc sport bike at your local Kawasaki dealership, and hitting the road.

LIFE

Dear Elann...

But let me propose to you another way to test the waters of motorcycling, one that might, at the same time, allow you to find a new connection with someone you thought you knew everything about.

“...find a new connection with someone you thought you knew everything about.” By the time I finally grew the confidence to become part of the motorcycling community, I had developed a love for old motorcycles. The clean, simple, elegant lines of the Universal Japanese Motorcycles of the late ‘70s and early ‘80s. I knew that anything reasonably priced would need some work to make it right, and I was woefully unprepared to perform any manner of mechanical heart surgery. So I recruited the help of my girlfriend (a long-time car fanatic and an all-around genius) and, along with a very thorough shop manual, we set about buying and restoring a little old Honda CB400T Hawk. By the end, I had a running motorbike that I’d paid less than $700 for, but more importantly, my girlfriend and I had developed a very deep connection over a shared experience. She has no interest in ever riding, but we shared a love for the process of fixing that little bike. It’s a trying, aggravating, painstaking task, and couples often try and insulate themselves from stressful or difficult situations, for fear that they could lead to frustrations with one another. But it’s that kind of strife and struggle that makes a relationship stronger! And those moments of anger and impatience are massively out-weighed by the indescribable joy of hearing that engine cough to life, stutter, then grumble

MATTHEW AZEVEDO

Find time to work on a project with those you love. It helps to build trust in yourself and in one another. Above is Jack Hinds working on his Honda CB400T Hawk. and roar just like it did when it first rolled off the assembly line all those years ago. So I implore you; as 2015 slowly approaches, consider making it a resolution to find yourself a challenge, and tackle it with someone you care about. It could be a friend that you’ve lost touch with, a parent you’ve been distant from since you came to university, or a love that has grown comfortable and content over time. It could even be your own self, part of which you may have lost along

the long and winding path that’s taken you to where you are. Whoever you choose and whatever the challenge, I can promise you, at the end your understanding and appreciation for that person will be just like that little Honda; reinvigorated and made new through a liberal application of anger, joy, hard work, and tenacity. You’ll have a relationship with unmatched depth and understanding that you have proven will stand the challenges that define our lives. You may even have a new hobby, too.

Dear “Really Need To Get Organized”: Your remarks about when the fun stops and the work starts are being heard loud and clear! You get your schedule, memorize the map of the campus, work out a “living plan” with your new house-mates, get to a few social events, and suddenly things change! Your prof is referring to a reading from your assigned reading list – as if you have already read it! Go figure! You barely have your textbooks “cracked” open and he wants you to know information from a list buried in your first week’s pile of paper? What to do when no one is reminding you of anything? Congratulations, though, you have taken the first step…recognizing you need to get organized. There are many books and websites on organization, but I hear you – no time to read or research those! If you don’t have a favorite workable style of organization, I am going to lend you mine! Use colour. If you are taking three courses and a lab, get markers in four colours. When you get anything in your blue course, put a blue triangle in the top right hand corner, so that, even leafing through the pages, you can see its colour. Use the same colour for files on your computer or in a real folder. Get a desktop file holder to put your ongoing information into neat, retrievable order. Get, or use a bulletin board. Have a viewable calendar with every deadline written in the colour of each subject (your cell phone, or computer will tell you what day it is). Use those for your day-to-day organization and before you finish that day, transfer any deadlines to that big calendar. Reward yourself with a line thru or a big bold check mark beside – when that “work” has been submitted or that test completed! Keep it simple and up to date. University is about a lot more than just getting that degree. Value all the learning you do!

Elann

Email: dearelann@gmail.com for advice and help.

520 LIFE

Simply authentic: diary of a local foodie

Cooking with love for Thanksgiving EMILY JONES As promised last week, I will be featuring some must-have recipes for fall, and the Thanksgiving season. This week, I have decided to teach you how to make a delicious stuffing that works with chicken or turkey. I am also going to touch a bit on how to prepare your bird for roasting to ensure it turns out as mouth watering as it should! I want to warn you that this will take a bit longer to prepare than most of the recipes I write, but I assure you that the hard work will pay off! You will need to pick up some hearty

Tastes Like Fall Vegan Smoothie -2 apples -1/2 banana -2 tbsps natural unsweetened peanut butter -1 tbsp fresh ginger -1 tbsp cinnamon -2 cups unsweetened almond milk -1/2 cup of ice Blend until smooth!

TheON

ingredients for this recipe (which, as always will be included in the shopping list below), so grab your reusable bag and venture out to a local food market or grocery store and stock up. First, use bread that is a few days old, or fresh bread, cut into one-bytwo inch strips for your stuffing. If you want to use fresh bread (as I did a couple of weeks ago), simply bake the strips in the oven for 20 minutes in an oven preheated to 220 degrees. The reason for using dryer bread rather than soft, moist bread is so the bread will be able to absorb the juices and flavours of the rest of the stuffing mixture without being soggy. Make sure to get this done ahead of time so when you are ready to add the bread into the stuffing mixture, it is ready for you. Once this has been done, you can begin to prepare the tasty part of the stuffing. Get out a large

cutting-board and a good knife. First, chop up a medium-sized cooking onion, and a full bulb of garlic. Then, chop up three stocks of celery, three cremini mushrooms, and some oyster mushrooms. In a large pot, add ¼ cup of butter, a drizzle of olive oil, and allow these to melt together. Next, add in the onions, garlic, celery, and mushrooms to the butter and oil. Allow all of the ingredients to begin cooking down and softening up. Next, add in freshly chopped sage, thyme, and rosemary and continue stirring. For more moisture, add in a cupand-a-half of chicken stock, and some salt and pepper to taste. Believe me, by now, your kitchen and entire house is going to smell absolutely delicious. Keep the mixture on low heat, stirring continually for a few minutes. Now, you are ready to add in the bread. Slowly add in the strips of bread and

continue stirring – you want all of the bread to be evenly coated and somewhat moist. Once you have completed this, it is time to set the stuffing aside, and prepare your bird to be stuffed. Be sure to clean out the inside of your bird (many do come pre-cleaned, but check to be sure!) Then, it is time for you to begin stuffing. To stuff your bird, I recommend using a tablespoon to spoon and pack in the stuffing mixture. I also added in an extra full clove of garlic and half an onion into the opening so that the stuffing does not fall out during the roasting. Have some butchers’ string, or any kind of string on hand, and get some one to give you a hand. You want to place your bird in a roasting pan, breast side up, and tie its legs together. Then, preheat your oven to 350 degrees, rub the bird down with butter, and sprinkle it with fresh black pepper, and a little bit

of salt, and some chopped thyme. Remember to baste your bird often to achieve that golden, crispy skin. To ensure crispy skin, don’t cover the bird! Allow your bird to roast in the oven uncovered for the entire time.

Shopping list: -Whole turkey or chicken -Cooking onions -Fresh garlic -Celery -Cremini and oyster mushrooms -Chicken stock -Bread -Butter -Olive oil -Salt -Pepper

You’ve probably seen this on Pinterest Pumpkin recipes just in time for fall ALYSSA OTTEMA It’s that time of year again, when the weather begins to drop and the level of things it is appropriate to put pumpkin in begins to rise. By this point, throwing pumpkin into muffins, pie, and coffee is second nature. But pumpkin pie pancakes? Pumpkin cookies? What wonder! What splendour! Take these recipes enjoy pumpkin for breakfast, coffee break, and dessert.

Pumpkin Pie Pancakes You’ll need: 1¼ c. flour  2 tbsp. brown sugar  2 tsp. baking powder  ¼ tsp. salt  1 tsp. cinnamon  ¼ tsp. nutmeg  ⅛ tsp. ginger  ⅛ tsp. cloves  1 c. milk ½ c. canned pumpkin  1 egg  2 tbsp. vegetable oil  1 tsp. vanilla Directions: Preheat a griddle or frying pan to medium heat. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, brown sugar, baking powder, salt, cinnamon,

nutmeg, ginger, and cloves, and set aside. In a medium bowl, whisk together the milk, pumpkin, egg, vegetable oil, and vanilla extract. Pour the wet ingredients over the flour mixture and whisk gently until completely combined. Ladle ⅓-cup of the batter onto the pan for each pancake. Cook for 2 to 3 minutes, or until the edges are set and the bubbles around the edges are open and set. Flip and cook on the second side for 2 minutes, or until golden brown. Pumpkin Cookies You’ll need: 1 c. brown sugar 1 c. sugar 1 c. canola or vegetable oil 1 can of pumpkin 2 eggs 1 tsp. vanilla

3½ c. flour 1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. baking powder ½ tsp. salt 2 tbsp. pumpkin pie spice Directions: Preheat oven to 350°F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. In a medium bowl combine, brown sugar, sugar, canola oil, pumpkin, eggs, and vanilla until fully. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and pumpkin pie spice. Mix the dry mixture into the wet ingredients. Using a small cookie scoop, place mounds of the dough onto the parchment paper and bake for 11-12 minutes. Remove from the oven, transfer cookies to a cooling rack and let cool before serving.

Issue 175.6 • Thursday, October 9, 2014

OPINION

An opinion of what an undergrad means out there From one undergrad to another MAKENZIE ZATYCHIES When beginning my education at Guelph, I was eighteen and had just completed high school two months prior. Even with having had other opportunities to pursue, I chose to hunker down and begin my B.A in English. Still to this day, I question what it is that drove me to school when I had the chance to live in different Canadian cities, or even across the world, with my parents’ blessing to do whatever it was that made me happy. So, why would I have chosen to head right to school? I truly believe it was fear of the growing industry of university, and that if I didn’t start then I’d be left behind. Now, with a few more years of life experience, having traveled and studied, that idea is absurd to me, but I still feel this nagging sensation that I wasn’t wildly off base. As someone working towards their bachelor’s degree, the most common question seems to be – what are your plans when you’re done school? Sure, it seems like a harmless enough question to ask, but after time and constant repetition, it does cause one to think that there is something to fear. Though I cannot speak for all students, my experiences through primary and secondary school solidified the belief that if you work hard and apply yourself you will go to university, have

JOHN WALKER VIA CC BY 2.0

An undergrad degree was once thought of as a ticket to forever-employment; times have changed and our mindsets need to as well. a career, and be successful. The problem arises when all students are taught this mentality, as it changes the nature of choice pertaining to post-secondary studies. With the steady increase of students attending post-secondary institutions, it perpetuates the need for students to attend these establishments, and thus the cycle continues. So, this question of ‘what I’ll be doing’ may be harmless, but the primary issue it raises is the reality awaiting after graduation, of more qualified people applying for fewer ‘good’ jobs. There was once a time when a degree was enough to set one

apart or optimally one’s position for higher consideration when facing employment; this is unfortunately not the case anymore. These realities would cause a large number of students to enroll for reasons other than their own passion or self-fulfillment – whether that is parental/societal expectations, career expectations, or money, to name a few examples. These external factors are proving of more consequence to students’ choices regarding education than anything else. This has been proven time and time again when I’ve come across many students pursuing subjects of no interest to them, with their

only driving force being either that, they understand it, so they ‘might as well,’ or the financial promises associated with given fields. The way our system functions has changed, as it is now unrealistic to expect guaranteedto-retirement employment at 22, with these careers vanishing more and more rapidly. All of these concerns are linked through the effect they’ve had on the university system and the value of an undergraduate degree. Now, we are seeing a system where education is less for the sake of education and the desire to learn, and more a stepping-stone to the corporate world.

The paradox this has created is almost entertaining, as the expectation is to earn your degree and put it to use; but many students are finding themselves without employment due to a growing age divide emerging with these changes. Many adults have been perfecting their industry over years of hands-on experience, and would hardly take kindly to recent graduates starting out with no experience and the shield of an education. Beyond issues employees could face amongst each other, greater issues are people not employing due to age discrimination, not having enough experience or education, or the fear for job stability. It would be hard to feel comfortable in a job when there is a seemingly infinite supply of people your age with the same qualifications if you don’t work in the ways the company would like. Sadly, the attitude amongst many students has turned to mocking the current circumstances. But, it is understandable with a constant reminder that what await you are jobs you’ll hate and an insurmountable amount of debt. Despite all of this, one thing that hasn’t changed, and is arguably more necessary now than ever, is the need to work hard and apply oneself. It’s great that the education system is instilling the desire for higher education and applying oneself, but maybe that should be paired with an expressed importance upon the reality of the world and getting all you can from your education. Be sure to find the balance between enjoying your education and considering the future.

TOKYO POLICE CLUB said the whale & the pack .a.d. Co-presented by the Central Student Association and University Centre Programming

Tuesday, December 2

Peter Clark Hall • 7 pm • all ages/licensed $25 UoG student • $28 general (service charges extra) Tickets on sale Friday at 10 am. Order on line at www.ticketbreak.com or purchase in-person on campus at the CSA (UC Rm 274). Student ticket price only available at CSA.

OPINION

Letter to the Editor

Bank machines on campus GLENN SOLTES Ever noticed that the only bank machines on campus are CIBC and the third party machines, both of which charge at least $1.50 to get to your money if you are not a CIBC customer. It was been that way for as long as I can remember. Is this really providing good service to students and staff? At $1.50 per use taking out lunch money from a bank machine will cost you more admin charges than mortgaging that money. If University of Guelph administration called up TD Canada Trust in the morning and asked for a bank machine in the UC, Canada Trust would have the ATM on the truck by noon. They would jump at�� the �� opportunity. Every bank would. The university allows third party vendors to put bank machines all over the university, all of which charge for every single transaction. It can only be a sweetheart deal with CIBC that is keeping the other banks ATMs out and that the University wants�� to �� promote the use of their own cards. Its time to put students first and allow other banks ATMs on the campus so we all can stop paying excessive transaction fees.

Have a question, comment or complaint? Send us a letter to the editor at ontarion@uoguelph.ca. Deadline is Monday at 4 p.m., 300 word max.

Dating or browsing for sex? Good2Go, Tinder and the cataloguing of interpersonal relationships ASHLEY STREET

Each generation approaches dating slightly differently, and that change is accelerated and complicated by the availability of new technologies. Mary, a character from He’s Just Not That Into You sums up the struggle very accurately: “I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn’t. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting” This movie is a bit outdated because in the five years since it came out, people have become increasingly dependent on smart phones for managing their social relationships – but Mary’s struggle is still very real. App designers and advertisers have attempted to address Mary’s problem in the way that all capitalists address problems, with increasing specialization. Our smart phones combine almost all our methods of communication,

except face-to-face contact, into one handy device. Rather than exhaust ourselves trying to determine someone’s intentions by talking to them, having a real conversation, we can simply shop for people the way we shop for products. The whole process of finding a romantic partner is distilled down to only its most essential, utilitarian elements. We attempt to pick romantic partners the same way that we pick out chairs. What kind of chair do I want? Do I want a plastic chair for a one-day event (or maybe a few days if it doesn’t fall apart right away)? An office-chair that will get me through student housing until I can chuck it and afford a really nice chair that I’m sure about (since I will obviously know everything about myself the second I graduate). Or do I want a really nice chair that I want to take with me to all of my homes and sit in everyday until I die? If I really am shopping for a chair, I know that I can find these things in different places. Wal-Mart will probably have my throw-away chair. IKEA will certainly have some solid options for that University chair to get me through my late-night study sessions. And that forever chair? I’m keeping it forever, so I’ll take the time and look at a few furniture boutiques I’ve sourced based on my taste – this is not a decision to be rushed into. The exact same logic now applies to the dating world. If I want a onenight-stand I can browse an app like Tinder to find something, I mean someone, quick and convenient – a rest stop where I can address my sexual needs. If I’m looking for a comfortable (but not forever) partner, I might download the Plenty of Fish app, or simply browse Facebook to find someone suitably attractive and geographically located. If I really want

MICHELLE ROBINSON VIA CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

What kind of chair do you want? What kind of relationship are you looking for? This article looks at how the world of online dating has changed the way we find different kinds of relationships. to meet someone I can spend the rest of my life with, I may go so far as to subscribe to Lavalife or some similar human catalogue which takes a bit of time and thought that requires a bit of information beyond a picture, or a picture, age, and school. This technology-based way of meeting people is hardly evocative of the passionate, fairy-tale romances so many of us grew up hoping for, but it’s easier. And it’s just the way you meet right? Once you’re face to face with the person, you can still get to know the other person the old fashioned way. Or can you? When you buy something you enter into a contract, and now there is a new app that intends to reduce instances of sexual assault by making an overt consentcontract part of the dating experience.

The Good2Go app attempts to simplify sexual consent by having the interested party get his/her date to answer a series of questions and input their phone number in order to signal interest in entering into sexual relations. It’s like Cinderella if her fairy godmother moonlighted as notary public. While there are positive elements to this app, it creates a level between the introduction and completion of an act that could be harmful, and it also gestures to a major social problem. It’s a level of self-surveillance. Have people become so detached from face-to-face interactions that they are unable to make smart, capable decisions about sex without dependence on an application? It is absolutely pragmatic, but hardly romantic.

JOIN THE ONTARION WE ARE LOOKING FOR PASSIONATE & CREATIVE VOLUNTEERS TO BECOME PART OF A GREAT TEAM & CONTRIBUTE TO OUR UPCOMING ISSUES! Our Next Volunteer meeting is Thursday, October 9 at 5:30 p.m. in UC Rm. 264 FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT ontarion@uoguelph.ca

Issue 175.6 • Thursday, October 9, 2014

Changing the Subject

OPINION

The Weekly Yank

Multitasking and its setbacks

Contentment

DANIELLE SUBJECT

WILL TAYLOR

Multitasking: the bane of my student existence. I’ve always been a sucker for multitasking, and not until I hit the second semester of my third year (and realized that my grades officially mattered) did I notice the impact of my poor habit. Even at this very moment I have music playing, my cell-phone screen is lighting up, Facebook is open, and I’ve responded to a few emails. Oh, I’m also eating dinner and thinking about the midterm I have this week. Interestingly enough, multitasking was commonly considered a strength for a long time. It’s common for jobseekers to list “multitasking” as a skill, or for employees to boast about how much they can get done at once. According to recent studies, the ability to multitask is apparently a myth. Our brain can only handle so much at once, and even if you are doing multiple tasks at the same time, your brain is really only focused on one at a time. For example, let’s say you’re checking your email and reading an article for one of your classes – although you may be conducting both tasks simultaneously, your brain is really only focused on one thing. It’s either retaining the email, or retaining the article, but not both at the same time. It’s also barely retaining anything because it’s so busy trying to balance the two tasks. This is why I seem to find my brain feeling constantly filled to the brim. Trying to accomplish too many things at once leaves me feeling exhausted and fuzzy, as if my brain cannot possibly absorb anymore. The feeling is an epidemic – I’m sure I’m not the only student feeling this way. Between our cell-phones, our laptops, daily interactions, homework,

I had a conversation with a woman who had just bought a 40-pound bag of chicken. She was ecstatic about her purchase. She rattled off the near endless amount of ways she and her husband would prepare and eat their way through the near infinite supply of chicken she now possessed. There would be lunch chicken, dinner chicken, and, most perplexingly, breakfast chicken (which is dinner chicken, but eaten the next morning). What terrified me the most is that she was content. She was just happy to have her husband and her chicken sack.

JENN VARGAS VIA CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Multitasking seems to be something society is accustomed to, but is it always a good thing? deadlines, group assignments, part-time jobs, thinking about midterms, preparing for exams, volunteering, texting, emails, notifications, buying groceries, writing essays, keeping up with our favourite TV shows, and trying to maintain what’s left of a social life at the same time, it’s no wonder we feel the need to multitask.

“Trying to accomplish too many things at once leaves me feeling exhausted...” The problem is, we’re missing out on learning. See, I had this class. It was one of those classes where the professor would post the slides to Courselink, so I naturally didn’t feel the need to

take notes. This feeling coincided with my decision to creep Facebook and Google the down low on my favourite celebrities. I figured I didn’t have headsets in and I was in lecture, so I was inevitably listening. I was multitasking. So one midterm and a disappointing mark later, I decided my current lecture strategy wasn’t working. I decided to leave my laptop at home one day. Go figure, I learned something. I left that class feeling like I actually knew what the professor was talking about for once, and it was a wonderful feeling. Apparently, my past multitasking efforts weren’t working. I decided then and there that I wasn’t going to bring my laptop to class anymore, and that I would write my notes in a good-oldfashioned notebook. Now when I need a computer on campus, I use the open ones in the library. Regardless of this step, multitasking still seems to slither back into my daily life. How can we combat this vicious need to be on the go nonstop? Multitasking causes us to miss out on the present. We are so busy trying

to get everything done at once that we miss out on the moment right in front of us. A simple solution? Go for walk. Walks are underrated. Next time you’re in the library and feeling like your head is going to explode, get up and go for a walk outside. Clear your head and regain focus. Do one thing at a time. I know, easier said than done, right? It’s a challenge. I challenge you to sit down and do one thing. When you’re typing up those textbook notes or trying to zoom through those readings, hide your cell phone, close your Browser, and focus on the task at hand. Take the time to stop and think about the moment. What are you trying to accomplish? What is the most important thing for you to be doing right now? Take life slow and do one thing at a time. Otherwise, we cheat ourselves out of learning and absorbing all of life’s wonderful lessons. That email can probably wait, the text message is probably not urgent, and Facebook is – let’s face it – useless. Life is too short, so slow down and enjoy it.

I don’t mean to belittle her purchases, or her for that matter. Over the past four years I’ve tried to find the keys to happiness, and these searches have come to many, abrupt, dead ends. And there was a person who had figured it out, and I was horrified that happiness could be a 40-pound bag of chicken. I saw contentment and I didn’t want it. I didn’t want any part of it. Her smile was genuine and her eyes were glazed over, maybe all she had left was chicken and a husband. But she was fine with it! I just never want to find a sense of adventure in the deli aisle of a No Frills. Maybe I’m missing out – I’m probably in the wrong. But if happiness is someone who loves you, and a 40-pound sack of chicken. I’m fine being discontented for a little while longer.

The views represented in the opinion section do not necessarily reflect the views of The Ontarion nor its staff.

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FEATURE

World Wildlife Fund publishes startling report Humans to blame for declining wildlife populations CONNOR ARSENAULT The World Wildlife Fund has just released their 2014 report on the state of the world’s wildlife populations. The “Living Planet Report” provides an index by which to consider the changes in populations of various species around the world. The results of the report are shocking, to say the least. According to the report, there has been a 52 per cent decline in wildlife populations around the globe between 1970 and 2010.

This decline is largely attributed to human actions. This staggeringly high statistic comes only two years after WWF put the same number at 28 per cent in their 2012 report. According to WWF, the change comes as a result of new methods they used in the study, which give a higher statistical weight to underrepresented taxonomic groups in the data set. According to the report, freshwater species, including frogs and amphibians, are the hardest hit, experiencing declines of 79 per cent over the past four decades. Marine species experienced a decline of 39 per cent , with the most affected animals being sea turtles and sharks. In addition to startling figures like those above, the report makes use of a number of pictures and colourful graphs to exhibit the current state of the populations

of wildlife around the world. It is written in simple terms and with minimal jargon, which makes it seem very convincing. As believable as the report may seem, the methods of WWF have come under question. The study that led to this report was a meta-analysis of populations of 3,038 different species of vertebrates, including mammals, birds, amphibians, reptiles and fish. This is only a small fraction of the approximately 62,305 described species of vertebrates. The study also does not take into account plants or invertebrates, which make up the rest of the approximately 1.9 million species presently described. On top of the huge difference between the sample size and the number of described species, it is estimated that 80 per cent of the world’s species remain unknown to science, so there is a high degree

of uncertainty that comes along with the results of the report. The conclusions arrived at in this report may be an overestimation or misrepresentation of the facts due to limited data, but the trends that the report identifies are undeniable. In a relatively short period of time, the rate of extinction on Earth has skyrocketed. It is said that we are entering the sixth mass extinction, for which humans are the primarily cause. There is no doubt that human actions have caused the declines and demise of countless species. The WWF report cites exploitation in the form of hunting and fishing as the biggest cause of population declines worldwide, but it is likely that the loss or destruction of habitat is the greatest cause of extinctions and reductions in populations. Other causes include the introduction

Netflix: a new movie superpower? Why the Adam Sandler deal with Netflix could sink movie theaters CONNOR HEWSON Netflix strikes again! Already a burgeoning titan in the world of television with original series hits such as House of Cards and Orange is the New Black, Netflix is now making the inevitable foray into the business of major motion picture distribution, announcing a four film deal last Wednesday with Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison Productions, giving Netflix subscribers exclusive firsthand access to the next four films released by the much beloved and equally maligned comedian. Outside of exciting countless 12-year-olds across the globe, Sandler’s new four film deal with Netflix also offers a glimpse into what could possibly be a very different future for the film industry as we currently know it, with the potential to disrupt the Hollywood chain of command that has existed for decades and spell the end for movie theatres around the globe. As has been the case since the golden days of Walt Disney, the

ILLUSTRATION BY JESSICA AVOLIO

Netflix is quickly becoming a powerful and instantly recognizable household name globally by offering original movies, shows, and convenience. distribution rights for the bigbudget, blockbuster breed of movie has always gone first to the theater, where the perceived maximum profit and audience could be had. After a scheduled run in theaters, the film would then eventually be released down something like a hierarchical chain, going from DVD releases to cable television, until finally trickling down to online services like Netflix and Amazon Instant Video at the bottom of the barrel,

with the companies often having to wait up to 18 months after a movie’s release before being able to purchase the rights to it. By drawing in a big name like Adam Sandler, whose movies have made a combined $3 billion at the box office and are among some of the most watched globally in the Netflix global library (12 year olds, I’m looking at you), Netflix looks to upend the current Hollywood system and move up among the upper echelon of

established movie studios, much like they have already done with television. Convenience and price, two of Netflix’s biggest pulls, have already begun to do a number on the cable television industry, as the ability to binge watch whenever and wherever you want, without fear of interruption by commercials featuring disheveled Trivago men and redheaded restaurateurs, has driven many away from their television sets and onto their laptops.

of invasive species, and climate change, which is now being more widely recognized as correlated with human activity. In their “Living Planet Report,” WWF may be misconstruing the facts and coming to some farfetched conclusions, but there is one thing that they are not wrong about. Humans are bringing about unprecedented changes to the natural world and having a devastating impact on much of the biological community. We may be the cause of the problem of declining wildlife populations, but that does not mean that we cannot become the solution. The decision lies with us, whether we will give in and accept the stark forecast of collapsed levels of biodiversity, or whether we will work to ensure the incredible diversity of life on Earth persists for generations to come.

And video stores such as Blockbuster, once a staple in many communities, have virtually faded into oblivion like the great Dodo birds of old. Why get out of bed or leave the house when everything you want to watch is right at your fingertips? It is this very mentality, born of the internet age, which should have Hollywood suits and theatre executives alike sweating in their pinstripes, as Netflix threatens to keep viewers out of the theatre and on their own couches. Why spend upwards of thirty dollars to watch Adam Sandler crack numerous fart jokes dressed as a woman some will say, when you can watch those same fart jokes take place from the comfort of your own home for less than half the price and effort? You wouldn’t even have to put pants on! While that may ring true, others would argue (such as myself ) that a movie theatre is still an institution, where every sticky floor, obnoxiously loud laugh, and ringing cell phone is just part of an experience that just can’t be replicated anywhere else. While the recent trends in television and other forms of media are certainly telling, only time will tell how big of an impact the new deal between Netflix and Adam Sandler will actually have on the film industry and movie theatres around the globe. That being said, the only real guarantee is more fart jokes.

Issue 175.6 • Thursday, October 9, 2014

EDITORIAL

Seeing green and grey: the environment as text

The Ontarion Inc.

University Centre Room 264

How reading the environment can shift perspective

University of Guelph

As I was driving with my friend in the quaint town of King City, beautiful well-built homes lined the streets. The suburban neighbourhood had houses with enormous backyards and were located on grand plots of land. As the steady stream of houses continued for what seemed like forever, something caught my eye. There was a vacant piece of land filled with nothing but grass and a fence made of conifers. The plot of land looked so small and out of place among the long and endless rows of houses. What stood out to me most was not the fact that the small piece of land was untouched, but how I saw the space it occupied. Almost instinctively, I kept thinking about reasons for why this land may not be desirable to build on. It was surrounded by grandiose houses from all sides, yet I couldn’t help but wonder why no one occupied it. Looking back at that moment, I realize that whether it was conscious or unconscious, the piece of land I looked at in the lovely King City suburb was entirely a product of my own reading of the environment. We constantly read the environment that surrounds us, but we often remain unaware of how we read and the factors that may influence those thoughts. Undoubtedly, the way I read that plot of land was shaped by the promise of something more. How did we come to read land in a way that prioritizes potential over than self-worth? That piece of land in King City looked so out of place and foreign to me, as if it didn’t belong. Yet in retrospect, the story I read on that day could not be further from the story of the land itself. The way we orient ourselves towards the environment shapes how we read it. The different meanings our surroundings can produce demonstrates a type of environmental thinking which urges awareness. In the case of my suburban moment of enlightenment, the environment which I read was not made up of what I saw, but rather it was a reading of what was not there. Through the absence of something built, the emptiness of the piece of land created meaning for me

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Johnston Green plays a crucial role in shaping the University of Guelph’s image. solely through it’s relation to the row of suburban houses positioned alongside the lot. How is it that an untouched area of land came to be read as an absence of something built? That is my primary concern with the way the environment has come to be thought of. We begin to read the urban environment not as something substantial on its own, but only as an absence of development.

“...a type of environmental thinking which urges awareness.” When I look at empty plots of land in growing urban areas, it has become almost natural to me to assume that condominiums or a strip mall will be built there. At least this has been the case where I have grown up; I treasure the rare, publically accessible green spaces that are available here in Guelph. Even on campus, spaces like the Arboretum and Johnston Green provide a green space for students to become comfortable with their surroundings. The picturesque Johnston Hall serves as one of the most iconic images of the University, and rightfully so. However, I can’t help but think

about how Johnston Hall came to symbolize the University of Guelph. With Johnston Green being the most central place on campus, surrounding buildings become defined by their relation to the field itself. The way we read this flat green space, whether as a shortcut to class or as a place to relax, demonstrates the power of meaning created by the positional relationships of structures centered around campus. In his environmental book called ‘A Sand County Almanac’ Aldo Leopold, an American environmentalist, expresses the need to read the environment as a part of ourselves rather than something exterior to us. ”Conservation is getting nowhere because it is incompatible with our…concept of land. We abuse land because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect.” A voice needs to be given the environment in such a way that brings forth the awareness of the spatial relationship between humans and the earth. How we position and orient ourselves towards the environment inherently shifts our understanding of the world we live in. The reading of the environment further occurs on a larger scale. When photographs of the Earth were first taken from the moon, the image provided a new and profound sense of the world that forever changed the way we looked at ourselves. For the first time, the finitude of the Earth was visible to the eye. This crucial

moment in history is an example of how shifts occur in the reading of our environment. The Earth was seen not as something unimaginable; but rather seeing the shape of our world contained in a single photograph gave us a perspective of our significance in the world. A strong sense of community emerges through the realization that the life we inhabit on earth is limited, shared, and surrounded by endless space. In turn, the way we read our environment and how we interact within it is forever changed through a shift in how we position ourselves with our environment. The following is a famous quote by Carl Sagan, describing a photograph of the earth that can barely be seen from millions of light-years away: “Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.”

Editorial Staff Editor-in-Chief Emily Jones Associate Editor Emilio Ghloum News Editor Alyssa Ottema Arts & Culture Editor Adrien Potvin Sports & Health Editor Stephanie Coratti Copy Editor Sameer Chhabra Web Editor Danielle Subject Production Staff Photo & Graphics Editor Matthew Azevedo Director of Layout & Design Carly Jenkins Office Staff Business Manager Lorrie Taylor Ad Manager Al Ladha Office Coordinator Vanessa Tignanelli Circulation Director Salvador Moran Board Of Directors President Heather Luz Chairperson Patrick Sutherland Treasurer Alex Lefebvre Secretary Anthony Jehn Directors Melissa Chong Ay Yan Bronislaw Szulc Sasha Odesse Contributors Jessica Avolio Natasha Castellano Sameer Chhabra Kelsey Coughlin Gabrielle Dickert Luke Fuendling Alex Grant Eve Harding Jack Hinds Nicolette Hoang James Jose Diana Kurzeja David McGarry Mohammad Melebari Julia Noel Mike Ott Joanne Pearce Ryan Priddle Ashley Street Kaitlin Sullivan Will Taylor Will Wellington Makenzie Zatychies The Ontarion is a non-profit organization governed by a Board of Directors. Since the Ontarion undertakes the publishing of student work, the opinions expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect those of the Ontarion Board of Directors. The Ontarion reserves the right to edit of refuse all material deemed sexist, racist, homophobic, or otherwise unfit for publication as determined by the Editorin-Chief. Material of any form appearing in this newspaper is copyrighted 2014 and cannot be reprinted without the approval of the Editor-in-Chief. The Ontarion retains the right of first publication on all material. In the event that an advertiser is not satisfied with an advertisement in the newspaper, they must notify the Ontarion within four working days of publication. The Ontarion will not be held responsible for advertising mistakes beyond the cost of advertisement. The Ontarion is printed by Thuroweb.

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Across 1- Seize 6- Minn. Neighbor 10- Scottish Celt 14- Former Houston footballer 15- Silver screen 16- Editor Wintour 17- In spite of 20- DDE’s command 21- Communication medium 22- Leers at 23- Lummoxes 24- Expected 25- Kind of evidence 32- Slender 33- Playthings 34- Road with a no. 35- Frozen treats 36- Reduces speed 38- Capital of Calvados, in NW France 39- Indy 500 sponsor 40- Actress Moore 41- ___ luck! 42- Unofficial advisers 46- Wood of the Rolling Stones 47- Broccoli ___ (leafy vegetable) 48- Be silent, musically 51- Comedienne Fields 53- Biol. or chem. 56- Direct 59- School orgs. 60- Island of Hawaii 61- Conical native American tent 62- Identical 63- Like Nash’s lama 64- Approvals Down 1- Vanished 2- Public disturbance

3- Choir member 4- Attach by stitches 5- Seclusion 6- Disunion 7- It may be compact 8- Initial stake in a hand of poker 9- New Zealand parrot 10- Doohickey 11- Indigo source 12- Feminine ending 13- Falls behind 18- Bean curd 19- People and places, e.g. 23- Assns. 24- 24 hour periods 25- Desert bloomers 26- All thumbs 27- Unemotional 28- Haul 29- Fit to be tied 30- Bikini blast 31- Singer Horne 32- Hazard 36- Spotted 37- K-O connection 38- Spumoni or vanilla holder 40- Hindu loincloth 41- Freedom 43- Wrinkle 44- Tricky 45- Scott of “Charles in Charge” 48- Cookbook amts. 49- ___ boy! 50- Jam-pack 51- Comparison word 52- Will-___-wisp 53- Dupes 54- Algonquian language 55- Bad day for Caesar 57- Sticky stuff 58- Itty-bitty

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