a teacher's ultimate for parents

story by | otmom

School supply lists are out, back to school shopping has begun and the kiddos are just about ready to kiss summer vacation good bye. As you frantically get them ready for school, are you ready to help them do their best? Well, OTMOM reached out to over 30 K-12th grade teachers from around the region with teaching experience ranging from 3 to 23 years and asked, “what are the most important things parents can do to help their kids do well in school?” Here are the key areas that kept coming up and some of the responses from our fabulous educators: routines & being prepared

• Make sure your child gets enough sleep each night—research suggests 11–14 hours per night. Have your child to school on time or before the bell so he/she is ready to start the day with the class.

• Choose clothing and pack backpacks the night before so that children are not rushed in the morning. No one likes to start the day in a tizzy!

• Scheduling long vacations during the school calendar only sets students behind in their school work. Believe it or not kids are stressed about making up the school work when they return from their “vacation.” read, read & read some more

• Develop a homework/study routine and be consistent with it. Included in this can be designated times each night without cell phones, iPods, etc.

• It is never too early to start talking about the classes students should take to get them ready for college. Help them map out their high school classes as early as 8th grade. Colleges all have different entrance requirements so if your child has a college in mind it is good to check it out early.

• Find time—at least 15 minutes a day. Author Emilie Buchwald summarized it best: "Children are made readers on the laps of their parents."

• Starting at an early age read to your child as much as possible. Read signs, even items in the grocery store.

• When a classroom teacher sets up a reading incentive program, don't blow it off. Read with your children and send in the required slips or whatever the teacher has put in place to show accountability.

• Model good reading habits. Even reading the daily newspaper will help a student become more of a life-long reader.

• Expose kids to different genres and allow them to have their favorite books, but allow them to experiment. As the child gets older ask them detailed questions about what they are reading such as “who is your favorite author?”, “what was your favorite part in a book?”, “what would you have done if you were a character?” communicate & know what is going on there is a time for tough love be involved

• Talk with your child about their surroundings/ opportunities/experiences to build vocabulary and understanding.

• Check with your child every day to see if they have homework. Don’t assume that because your child isn’t doing homework, they don’t have any.

• Make sure you ask your child daily and let them know that you will be checking their grades often. Most schools have grades online that parents can access. If you’re in tune with checking grades frequently you can usually help your child or talk to the teacher before his/her grades fall to low.

• Don't wait for parent-teacher conferences to talk to your child’s teacher. Most teachers welcome consistent communication with parents. E-mail is a convenient and efficient way for a teacher to quickly touch-base with a parent.

• Get to know your child’s teachers. If you have not met some of the teachers that your child will have, stop in and meet them early in the year. This will make it easier to talk to them if you have concerns throughout the school year.

• Teachers, parents and students need to work as a team. This can make beautiful things happen!

• When a situation arises, calmly consider all sides before jumping to conclusions when your children are involved in a conflict.

• Maintain a positive attitude and approach to school and life. Focus on the GOOD that your student does. Remember, for every negative comment you child hears they need to hear six to seven positive comments to repair their self-esteem.

• Be involved with your child. Have time at night where the TV is off and have a conversation. Find out what they like or don't like and get to know their friends and the parents of their friends.

• Encourage your child to talk to their teacher if they need help and be a self-advocate. Teachers are willing to help children before school, during school and after school. Just ask!!

• Make time each night to help your child organize homework/materials for the next day. Teachers will not do this for him/her at school, so please do not do this for him/her at home. Instead, guide and model for him/her how to become responsible for their materials and work. In time, gradually release all/ most of the responsibility to your child. This means less work for parents and a sense of ownership and confidence for your child.

• Parents need to allow students to face the consequences when it is given—instead of making excuses for why the work is late or not done at all.

• Promote accountability. Parents, stop taking the blame for something your child does or doesn't do. Too often teachers get notes or calls from parents telling them that the assignment or slip that didn't get turned in, is their fault and not their child's. Parents need to let their children fail and have consequences...how else are they going to learn what real life is like!

• Children make mistakes! The most important thing is that they learn from them. If your child comes home and complains about something that happened in the day, remember there are always two sides to the story. Call the teacher and find out what happened. Teachers are more than happy to discuss whatever questions you might have.

• Teach respect and honesty. Students need to be shown how to respect others around them. Often times the lack of respect gets in the way and then learning cannot take place.

• Teach your child independence with chores and when they are young: zipping up coats, tying shoes; when they get older: talking with teachers, checking up on grades, etc.

• Ensure that your child is in school every day. Pulling them out because they have an assignment due or a test does NOT help learning.

• Please, please, please don't look for a teacher to parent your child. If you tell a teacher you don't know what to do....are they supposed to tell you what to do? That's just uncomfortable.

• Don't fight battles for your child, don't doubt your child isn't perfect and support doesn't have to mean defending him/her.

• Love your child, expect the best, raise them to think that school and their education is their job, sports/ activities come second, and get them help if they’re struggling. Children need love, support, boundaries and they need it from all angles of their education.

• Show your child that you will support them in new activities that they want to try. Schools offer a wide variety of enriching activities like band, choir, drama, dance, speech, science clubs, student council, sports teams and the list goes on. Encouraging your child to become active in their school will help them meet new friends and take pride in their education.

• So, there’s your school supply list. Let’s commit to having high expectations for our children, while instilling a love of learning. Be involved and supportive, without diminishing our children’s responsibility and accountability to themselves and their work. And let’s spend quality time with our children, attend their events, keep talking and enjoy this wonderful ride of parenthood!

Thank you participating teachers from:

Longfellow Elementary School and Davies High School – Fargo, ND

L.E. Berger Elementary – West Fargo, ND

Lake Agassiz Elementary School and Century Elementary School – Grand Forks, ND

Central Cass Middle School – Casselton, ND

Carrington Middle School – Carrington, ND

Central Middle School and Devils Lake High School – Devils Lake, ND

Horizon Middle School and Moorhead High School – Moorhead, MN