tweeners [10–12 years]

Independence is expressed in the decisions we make for ourselves. Decisions…decisions. Cereal or eggs, bath or shower, now or later…decisions. These decisions aren’t hugely impactful or life changing, but with the teen years just around the corner, decisions can actually accompany major consequences. You got your tweener’s decision making skills fine tuned?

yes, no, maybe

Yep, the older they get the greater the need for thoughtful decision making practices. Let’s face it, as they enter their teen years, their choices can literally be life-altering. Use drugs, apply to college, start smoking, go on that date, cheat on the big final, have sex and on and on and on! You can’t make his decisions, but you can do your best now to instill conscious decision making practices with these tips: hello real world

• gotta learn it If only good decision making skills were genetic traits. With a mama like you and your track record of impeccably AWESOME decisions throughout your life, your tweener would do no wrong. What? Not so much? Of course we have all had our share of decisions we would have gladly used a do-over for. We all have to learn to make appropriate decisions, so don’t expect your tweener to never screw up…he will. Just make sure you’re there to help him look at the situation and learn from it.

• think about it When we’re talking about making decisions, it means there are options to choose from. Teach the importance of considering each option and the pros and cons of each. Now in the heat of decision making, slowing down to think about things like, “will mom be ticked if I do this?” aren’t always natural considerations. For every decision there is a consequence; good or bad. So, what do you do when the bad decisions happen? Holding them accountable is a great teaching tool. If you do the crime, you do the time!

• feel it Talk to you tweener about “trusting the gut.” Many times the first reaction is the right one. If his intuition is telling him this isn’t right, odds are it isn’t right.

• practice it Living and learning are truly the best way to hone decision making skills, but feel free to do some practice scenarios with your tweener. Paint the picture of situations he may encounter and ask him what he would do. Then talk about the choice he decided on and why it is right or wrong.

It’s coming…you can see the light at the end of the tunnel… the last dance…hasta la vista baby! Pretty soon you’ll turn around and your teen will be leaving to take the world on all by himself. But…da, da, da…will he survive!?

Teaching your teen life skills is absolutely necessary, so start early. Heaven forbid the first time you see him living on his own, he’s only eating ramen noodles, wearing dirty clothes, has a stack of unpaid bills and no money in his bank account. It’s our job to make sure he can truly take care of the things every adult has to take care of. Here are some life skills teaching ideas you can instill while he’s still living under your roof:

• moola manager Lesson #1: virtually, everything costs money, so you better now how to use it. Once you have decided your teen is mature enough, get him his own checking and savings account. Go over statements and online tools so he understands what everything means. Whether money makes its way into his account through a job or you, expect him to pay for his things like entertainment, gas, car insurance and lunch to name a few. Then show him how to balance his checking account and work with him on setting up a monthly budget and following it.

• come & get it Sure he could live on delivery and take out the rest of his adult years, but talk about boring and expensive. Teach your teen to read recipes and the ins and outs of personally prepared sustenance. As your teen gets the hang of cooking, put him in charge of feeding the family. Once a week or once a month, let him plan the menu, do the grocery shopping and cook it all up. Practice makes perfect!

• wear it, take care of it Unless your teen moves into a place that comes with a money tree, he isn’t going to be able to buy new clothes just because they are dirty. So, teach him how to read clothing care labels, sort, wash, dry and iron his wardrobe. Show him

[yes, our sons can do this] how to sew on a simple button and fix a simple hem as well.

• last but not least Teach your teen about car and home maintenance. Show him how to check his oil and tires. Make him change a tire and talk about the importance of routine car maintenance. And as home repairs arise, have your teen chip in and help. Painting, fixing a leaky faucet, mowing the lawn, changing the furnace filter and other general household chores are perfect moments to explain the responsibility of living on your own.

701.364.2020 says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says

Who is Sally?

She is our quintessential, “do-it-all” mom and friend who reminds us to remember the woman behind the mom.