YOUer YOUer than than YOU! YOU!

story by | kathleen wrigley

"So be sure when you step, step with care and great tact. And remember that life's a great balancing act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! [98 and ¾ percent guaranteed].—Dr. Seuss [Oh, the Places You'll Go!]

Perhaps moms ought to have this tattooed—ON OUR FOREHEADS. Motherhood, for all its well-documented joys, has become a socket for debate on everything from breast-feeding to being a working mom. The scorn begins at conception—even my earlobes were huge after gaining 72 pounds with my first pregnancy—and it follows us through our children’s adulthood. It’s only after they have their own babies that we are freed from

thuen studios | scott thuen

the scrutiny. These judgments produce the top three energy sapping emotions: envy, resentment and guilt.

With 11 ½ years of experience in this job, I’ve learned the common denominator for mothers: guilt. There’s no getting around it. We all struggle. We grapple with our choices and paths: do I stay home or go back to work? Breast-feed or bottle? Disposable or cloth…ok, that last one is easy, but you get the point. We search for balance and compare ourselves to other moms. Our neighbor’s grass is always more lush and full. A wise frog once sang, “It ain’t easy being green…” It ain’t pretty either, Kermit.

Envy, guilt and worry are part of being human—part of being a mom. While we can’t ditch them outright, we should work on not measuring ourselves based on what others do or how they do it. Finding balance and peace is a challenge. It’s not something we just want, wiggle our nose and it happens. It’s a process.

I am a stay-at-home mom—by choice—and I feel lucky. Even so after all these years, I feel as though I have to back this up with: “but I volunteer, and I sit on boards, and I am involved.” Just look at my bio at the end of this article. I practically scream my credentials at our readers!

Whether a mom works outside the home or not, we justify our paths. Working moms may struggle with missing things, like school events or classroom trips. At-home moms might wrestle with identity and independence issues. More often than not, moms question our paths and the effect it has on our families. Dads don’t [typically] do this. Societal patterns and chromosomal differences clear the path for men—freeing them from the guilt of trying to do it all—well. I’m not throwing dads under the bus. Today’s dads are far more involved—both physically and emotionally—in their children’s lives. Still we don’t hear them say, “Shoot I feel so guilty about missing Johnny’s classroom Valentine’s party.” They see the bigger picture. Dads are simply wired differently.

I remember going on a road trip last year to see a U2 concert in Canada. The boarder agent studied our passports and poked his head into the car window asking for everyone’s occupations. My sweet brother-in-law rattled off the occupants’ impressive titles: “Well, we have the Lieutenant Governor of North Dakota. We have an elementary school Principal. I’m the Vice-President of a contracting firm. And…um…well…”

I felt his worried response. Poor guy. My occupation is tougher to define—without sounding patronizing. I know this. It’s not that staying home is less important, certainly. But as a stay-at-home mom, my description is less clear. And let’s be honest, it’s far less spicy than my travelers’ titles. Their headings may as well be trophies; they’re fancy and important-sounding.

I tell you this story because 11 years ago I decided to stay home with our children. I resigned from a profession that gave me independence and pride. Believe me: I realize my good fortune in having that choice. Still I never dreamt this would be my course. This was not an easy transition. It did not feel natural. I felt trapped and dependent. Like any new job, there was a steep

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Down The Aisle

blueberry & pomegranate smoothie makes 1 cup you need

• 1/2 cup fresh or frozen blueberries

• 1/2 cup vanilla greek yogurt

• 1/4 cup pomegranate juice

• 1 tablespoon honey how to source: insockmonkeyslippers.com

1. Combine all ingredients in a blender and blend on medium until mixed and smooth. If serving immediately, pour into a cup and bottoms up!

2. If packing the smoothie for a school lunch, pour into a freezable cup with lid and freeze overnight.

cranberry chewy squares & blueberry pomegranate smoothie

Looking for a grab-n-go breakfast or maybe a no-brainer lunch idea? Cranberry Chewy Squares are quick to prepare, eat and can be kept in the freezer for up to one month. Pair it with a simple, colorful, nutritious blueberry and pomegranate smoothie and you are golden! I mean, who can resist a smoothie? Aside from their yummy goodness, a smoothie for lunch can be made the night before. Store it in a freezable container, pack it the next day and when the lunch bell rings, your smoothie thawed into a cold delicious treat. You can’t help but try this easy-peasy combo.

cranberry chewy squares you need

• 8 cups cornflakes cereal

• 1 cup dried cranberries

• 1/4 cup butter

• 2/3 cup golden corn syrup

• 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed

• 1/4 cup white baking chips

• 2 teaspoons shortening

• cooking spray how to

1. Add the cereal and cranberries. Stir. Set aside.

2. Grease the pan with the cooking spray. Set aside.

3. Put the butter into the saucepan. Heat on medium until melted.

4. Add the corn syrup and brown sugar. Stir. Cook for about 2 minutes, stirring constantly, until the mixture is bubbling. Remove the saucepan from the heat.

5. Pour over the cereal mixture in the bowl. Stir with the wooden spoon until coated.

6. Press the cereal mixture firmly into a pan. Set aside. Let stand until cooled completely.

7. In a small sauce pan over low heat, stir together white baking chips and shortening to form a smooth mixture.

8. Drizzle by dipping a fork into mix while still warm, then wave gently over chewy squares.