keep the timeouts brief—around one minute per year of age

Atsome defining moment, your wee one becomes a tot. It may take you completely by surprise, but you’ll know when it happens. The two of you will be casually shopping or strolling across the parking lot hand in hand when suddenly she will demand her freedom with a stomp, a scream or a defiant “NO!” You’re freedom seeking tot can be taxing, but now is the time to focus on the big D. discipline = the four C’s

1. consistency

This is the foundation of good discipline and the glue that sticks kids together. So remember say what you mean… mean what you say. Don’t give in.

2. consequences

Good or bad, tots need to learn their actions produce results. Teach them the cause and effect rule: when I act like this, this is what happens. Actions should be immediate and appropriate. Dish out the props for positive behavior: “when you act good…good things happen”.

3. confidence

Making tots as independent as possible as early as possible is more than testing the limits of the child labor laws. It’s heartwarming to see the joy and hear the “I did it” when they do things for themselves. Here are some tips to start instilling self-discipline:

• Start at the door with making them hang their coat and put their own shoes away.

• Don’t eat and run. When mealtime is over, your tot can wash their hands, face and even the table.

• Clean it up. Let your tot wipe up their own spills.

• Take the garbage out, ok not all the way to the curb, but your tot can throw away their own trash.

4. circumstances proceed with caution

Sometimes adapting to circumstances is necessary.

• If your tiny tot is over tired [didn’t sleep well, didn’t have a good nap], you have to give them some leeway. When they are sleepy, their impulse control is one of the first things to go. So, there will be times when they won’t [or can’t] comply.

• Consider your own mood. Is it a day that you are light on patience? It is better to avoid a battle of wills if you think you aren’t up to following through. In these cases, ask yourself whether the teaching lesson is necessary.

• Pick your battles. You may need to ease up on little things that are annoying, but otherwise fall into the “who cares” category. The habits your tot is likely to outgrow, such as insisting on wearing purple [and only purple] aren’t something that requires disciplinary action. Remember this stage can be trying and tricky, but if you define what’s important to you, set limits accordingly and follow through with appropriate short and simple consequences, you have a good chance of having a tot you aren’t terrified of taking to Target!

Whenis it ok to discipline another parent’s pride and joy? Every parent has their own rules and style of disciplining their own, but when it comes to other people’s kids, the situation becomes a social minefield.

When you’re dealing with other parents’ kiddos perhaps the right response depends on the circumstance: