it…write it!

story by | dani parkos fluge

Self-Care! Sounds like some textbook psychobabble crap or something Oprah’s latest expert is adamant I need to be more aware of. For me, I immediately think about all the things I should be doing for myself, but don’t. I’m positive we have all said, “I really need to work out more or start eating healthy.” And how often have we talked about getting out for coffee or a cocktail [or two] with a friend, but it never fails… something comes up. And let’s be honest, we all dream about a moment of uninterrupted silence or sneaking away for that oh-so-needed nap. But the reality is moms struggle to practice self-care. It’s not that we don’t want to do it, but there is this feeling we have to a get everything else done first. The problem is everything else NEVER gets done; we always have something more to do.

Don’t worry, I’m not the preacher type to tell you about why you should “make time for yourself,” because I am big-time guilty of not taking the best care of littleold-me and the queen of putting myself last. So how the heck do we find the time or better yet, how do we find that “something” we can do and won’t feel guilty about doing it that allows us to practice self-care? I recently had lunch with a girlfriend who talked about her undercover desire to write more because of the release she finds and the creative outlet it gives her. So I got to thinking, maybe it’s time to bring the ol’ school version of a diary back to life and start journaling. You don’t need to spend a bunch of time; five to ten minutes is perfect. Journaling is simply a way to transfer “you” onto paper through a pen, pencil or even a broken crayon. Think of journaling as a brain dump, a way to connect to your soul, find encouragement and you might even find it relaxing. Do I think writing all my deep desires, dreams and disappointments on a paper towel or in a book magically makes all my worries go away, “ah…no”, but I have found it makes this already overloaded, warn-out, exhausted brain and body of mine feel better. I’ve even been known to flash a smile and giggle as I reflect on my day. Believe it or not, many times when I lift my pen from the paper, I realize the day wasn’t as dysfunctional as I first thought.

Here is some food for thought as I challenge you to explore and release your thoughts to paper: got gratitude? be a rockstar surprise!

It is easy to focus on everything that is left undone or all the mistakes you made in a day as a mom. Use your journal to focus on all you have to be thankful for. Scribble down every little moment that touched your heart during the day and recall all the smiles, the simple things you sometimes take for granted and anything else that will connect you to good thoughts.

Make a list of all the great things you said and did that day. Bring out some of that inner cockiness and don’t be so hard on yourself. Brag to your paper, remember it won’t crinkle its forehead, judge you and then run off to gossip about you. If you managed to get a load of laundry done, write it down. That’s an accomplishment. Remind yourself of all the good you do instead of focusing on what you need to do better.

Who knew there’re two styles of journaling? Free flowing journaling is where you write down anything that is on your mind and then there is guided journaling where you focus on answering one particular question aimed at learning more about yourself. I know…I am not the best at asking myself a question and getting the answer back I want to hear, but you might actually be surprised. Ask yourself simple questions like:

What inspires me?

What am I REALLY good at?

What triggers me emotionally?

What is important to me in friendship?

What stops me from living the life that is most important to me?

If you’ve never tried journaling, give it a shot. What do you have to lose? It really does change the way you think and feel about your world. You might even start to notice more of your life and find yourself more ‘in the moment’ and more YOU than you have ever been. Self-Care.