The "Bold" Issue

Orbital Board, 22/23

Editor-in-chief: Madelaine Gray

Deputy EIC: Hannah Armour

Senior News Editor: Courtney Bridges

Associate News Editor: Devesh Sood

Senior Opinion Editor: Emma Holly

Associate Opinion Editor: Jethro Robathon

Senior Culture Editor: Olivia Taylor

Associate Culture Editor: Shannon Gray

Senior Lifestyle Editor: Beth McCowen

Associate Lifestyle Editor: Millie Draper

Senior Sports Editor: Peter Vigh

Creative Writing Coordinator: Ellie Pritchard

Head Illustrator/Cover Design: Tabitha Turner

Article Illustrations: Meghan O’Brien

The views expressed within this magazine are not representative of Royal Holloway, University of London, or Royal Holloway Student's Union, or any author/editor except the individual who wrote the particular article.

I believe the vast majority of us could afford to be bolder in many avenues of life. Whether this be at work or university, when it comes to putting forward our ideas and taking credit for those we share, or in our relationships, when it comes to being open and honest as to our feelings, concerns, and thoughts. Despite being a relatively straightforward person in most ways, I’m famously “backwards in coming forwards” when it comes to really addressing my problems. In this way, I wish I was bolder, braver, more willing to take a risk to improve things rather than languishing in “what ifs”. I thought “Bold” was an appropriate theme for our first issue of 2023 – tying in with New Year’s Resolutions (despite my general dictate for the concept) and the idea of bettering ourselves alongside the passage of time.

Sofia Bajerova

Harry Stone

Tia Martello Daisy Clarkson Daniel Pepin Beth McCowen Beth McCowen Emilie Williams

Readers’ Letters, Tips, Comments THEMAILISIN

“I really liked the “Stupid Things Men Have Said to Me on Dating Apps” piece in the last issue. Very funny!”

- Will

“I wish I was a bolder person.”

- Anonymous

“Four Weddings is a crap film”

- Anonymous

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Sunak’s ‘bold’ move to make maths compulsory post-16

Courtney Bridges

SENIOR NEWS EDITOR

Starting off the year with… Maths?

In Rishi Sunak’s first speech of 2023, he announced in a pledge to “reimagine our approach to numeracy” that he will be introducing a policy directing pupils to study ‘some’ form of maths until 18, rather than the traditional compulsory requirement of studying core subjects like Maths and English until 16.

Current explorations of the ‘right route’ to do this include the consideration of Core Maths qualifications, T-levels and “more innovative options” in an effort to combat how:

“Right now, just half of all 16-year-olds study any maths at all. Yet in a world where data is everywhere and statistics underpin every job, our children’s jobs will require more analytical skills than ever before.”

This comes after cross-country comparisons, as the Government have defended this decision by emphasising how this would mean England would be on par with ‘most other OECD countries, including Australia, Canada, Finland, France, Germany, Japan, Norway and the United States’.

However, while the Prime Minister and Downing Street are

excited about this “new mission”, they have been met with mixed reactions – from enthusiastic support to angered backlash.

On the one hand, the Children’s Commissioner for England, Dame Rachel de Souza has welcomed the decision:

“Having a good grasp on numbers is helpful at all stages of life and can open the door to some fascinating and rewarding careers”, Though her opinion is not met with agreement by the Opposition and the general public.

Labour’s Shadow Education Secretary, Bridget Phillipson, has said this is nothing but an “empty pledge”, and that without campaigning to increase training and recruitment of maths teachers, it is a doomed quest from the outset. Mathematician, Kit Yates, speaks to this in expressing concern for the feasibility for the already unclear plan:

“Against the backdrop of a long-term shortage in maths teachers, the government again failed to meet its target for recruitment in 2022 despite significantly reducing that target.

Almost half of all secondary schools are already using non-specialist teachers for maths lessons.

… no extra funding has been promised to sixth-forms and further education colleges, which would be responsible

for shouldering most of the burden of implementing this plan.”

The issue of training and employment is therefore incredibly pertinent given the speech’s context amid nation-wide strikes across industrial services, the NHS, Civil Service, universities, and teachers. Something people were expecting to be touched on more in the PM’s first address of the year to the nation.

No only is this a matter of practicality, but one of educational, career and personal liberty. For, it is with such a decision under a PM whose background lies in finance that concern for the humanities, arts and creatives have been highlighted. Further embellishing a ‘subject hierarchy’ within academic centres and beyond despite growing challenges to this, particularly post-Covid as wider society is consequently undergoing a re-evaluation of the ‘worth’ or various learning strengths and career paths.

Many have also spoken to this side of the debate, including Simon Pegg who announced his outrage over an Instagram story update (@ simonpegg) in perhaps a more extreme view, suggesting that the decision appears to emphasise the PM’s desire to create a “drone army of date-entering robots”, and a willingness to disregard “fostering this country’s amazing reputation for creativity and self-expression”.

So, could this be a slippery slope in terms of, to be frank, democracy, if viewed in this way. Or is this born

out of pure concern for the nation’s youth, numerical intelligence, and personal as well as national prosperity?

Currently, it is uncertain how this route may take shape in the coming

years, another change to England’s education system, following Michael Gove’s GCSE and A level reforms over four years of restructure during his time as Secretary of State for Education (2010-14).

But what is certain is that this is another Conservative policy dividing the Commons and the Public and will likely be a large influence over voting decisions in the 2024 election.

THE NOMINATIONS

Devesh Sood

ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR

Whilestudents were stuck in their classes at 13:30 on Tuesday 24th January, the United States awoke to learn of the 95th Academy Award nominees. Despite the dwindling viewership numbers, and the continued insistence of the irrelevance of the Oscars, there always seems to be a curiosity about the films that are bound to be cemented in cinematic history.

The nominations presented plenty of surprises, even for the pundits. 14 out of the 20 actors are firsttime nominees, with Michelle Yeoh and Brendan Fraser amongst the most likely to be rewarded on the night. Everything, Everywhere, All at Once, which began its Oscars campaign as the crowd favourite and held the underdog status, came away with 11 nominations. Alongside the nominations for editing and original score, all 4 major actors received nominations for their roles, with Ke Huy Quan almost guaranteed to win his first, and both Jamie Lee Curtis and Stephanie Hsu receiving supporting actress nominations.

All Quiet on the Western Front proved to be surprising, receiving the 2nd highest number of nominations with 10. The popularity of this German remake had been felt through the BAFTA nominations, but many had not predicted it to

be quite as popular prior. Netflix’s position on the film reflected this, with much louder campaigns for the controversial Blonde, which received only one nomination for Ana De Armas, and Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio.

Other notable nominations saw Baz Lurhmans glamorous Elvis biopic prove surprisingly successful, while Spielberg’s autobiographical tale The Fabelmans provides him his best opportunity for his first Best Director in over 20 years. Also recognised were some of the biggest blockbusters of the year, namely Top Gun: Maverick and Avatar: The Way of Water. While neither are expected to take home the prestigious Best Picture award, recognising the impact of larger, crowd-driven films is important, especially in the years following the pandemic.

Ireland also proved extremely popular amongst The Academy this year. Martin McDonough’s masterpiece The Banshees of Inisherin received 9 nominations; the 4 main cast members all received recognition and the film is expected to prove triumphant in the Best Original Screenplay category. On top of this, their wonderful international submission The Quiet Girl was recognised, while Paul Mescal proved to be the sole nomination for Charlotte Well’s Aftersun.

However, it is impossible to talk about any Oscar nominations without mentioning some of the biggest surprises. The international category saw the shocking omission

of Korea’s submission, Park Chan Wook’s Decision to Leave, which many had predicted to win this category, and Brett Morgen’s Moonage Daydream missing a nomination in the documentary category. However, the most bizarre inclusion was Andrea Riseborough for To Leslie; having earned only $27,322 at the box office and seeing almost no promotion, the campaign used support from other stars and celebrities to generate awareness, a move that ended up proving successful. This shock resulted in the omission of Danielle Deadwyler from Till, which led to outrage from some. For the first time in a long time, these nominations truly presented a clearer, more unique picture of the current landscape of cinema; while the smaller character studies continue to be present, the representation of spectacle and the celebration of creativity has truly been exciting to follow. Should they be successful, the Academy may finally be able to return to what made their show so special; their unapologetic, bold love for cinema…

Pride London at 50:

London Pride turned 50 last year. London Pride, like all Pride events, has gone through many changes in its existence. The first official UK Gay Pride Rally took place on the 1st of July 1972, the nearest Saturday to the 1969 Stonewall Riots. And with momentous highs such as the first EuroPride in 1992 with over 100,000 attendees, or the Marriage Act of 2013 that introduced Same-Sex Marriage in England and Wales, to lows such as the Pride Trust insolvency in 1998, or anti-trans organisations parading in 2018, it is easy to say that Pride has seen its fair share of different experiences over its tenure.

I visited London Pride on the 2nd of July to understand what half a century of Pride meant to the LGBT community, to find out Pride’s impact across the world, and to see what the future of Pride looks like in the UK.

I arrived about an hour before the parade was due to start, and the streets of London were already packed, very packed. This of course was the first London Pride since 2019, as both 2020 and 2021 were cancelled because of the COVID-19 Pandemic. Many people who had missed the previous two prides were hopeful that 2022 could go ahead, and when they were given the greenlight, it felt as if they wanted three years of celebration all in one. I could feel the buzz and excitement of hundreds of thousands of people as the first parades were lining up to start, being led by dozens of men and women on motorcycles. The noise was momentous, with clackers and cheering rising high above the dance music coming from a DJ playing atop a floral van, embossed with the number 50 in golden balloons.

Everywhere you looked were explosions of colour, loud smells

were met with equally loud voices and even louder outfits, causing almost a sensory overload wherever you stood. Rainbow suits adorning characters from all walks of life, waving rainbow flags with rainbow makeup and rainbow hair dye. People were gearing up getting ready to start marching and it was absolutely jam packed. The only way to tell where one parade started and another ended was by who was holding which sign. Different parades where there because whilst everyone here was united under the same goal, everyone was going about their support in slightly different ways. What surprised me was just how diverse the groups taking part in pride were. From parades such as ‘Youth Stop Aids.’ And ‘We are Stonewall’, all the way to ‘UK Queer Arabs’ and ‘Red Hot’, (celebrating ginger queerness), I didn’t know that there was such a variety of groups. Orchestral music was being played by the London Gay Symphonic Winds, which was quickly being drowned out by the revving of motorcycle engines. This accompanied the waving of flags protesting the war in Ukraine, as well as floats from different companies. As the parade started, I got to speak with ‘Youth Stop AIDS’, a charity raising money for ‘The Global Fund’ as the UK Government had recently cut finding to this fund. They told me that: “Stop AIDS is a UK based HIV health and human rights network with over 35 years’ experience uniting UK voices on the global re-

sponse to HIV and AIDS… At least 69 countries criminalise LGBTQI+ people. This compromises efforts to test, treat and prevent HIV. The risk of acquiring HIV globally is 25 times higher amongst men who have sex with men; 34 times higher for transgender women. The Global Fund has saved more than 44 million lives since its inception in 2022, including 64% fewer deaths from AIDS related illnesses and 54% fewer HIV transmissions. This September, The Global Find needs to raise at least $18 billion… [which] will save 20 million lives, cut the death rate from HIV, TB and malaria by 64% & strengthen health systems to build a healthier, more equitable world.”.

These were numbers that shocked me when I heard them. I knew that HIV and AIDS were big issues that plagued the LGBT community but I had no idea how vast the scope was. It put into perspective for me that this is a huge issue that is very rarely mentioned. I am proud to say that the UK is a very giving nation and a lot of support goes to plenty of charities, but from my experience at Pride, it seems as if one of the biggest problems facing the LGBT community was almost forgotten about. As the day carried on have seen two or three dozen marches, all supporting different HIV related charities, and this really hammered home just how important this issue is, and how little must be being done for there to be this much attention being brogh to it.

Speaking to more people, I came across a group of men that were all at the original London Pride. It was fantastic for these people to see a parade they built grow into something so large, and for the society they helped change become so inviting and free. These men opened up a lot to me, and even told me some things I wouldn’t expect. They all had very similar backstories,

from how they grew up in a time of abuse and bullying, and how much it meant to them for samesex marriage to no longer be illegal. One of the gentlemen, Eric, told me that “this country has made leaps and bounds” with regards to LGBT rights, and Pride has allowed people “to be true to themselves and get on with life”. The main points I took from speaking to them was how people tend to take freedom for granted, people who have had to fight for basic rights see the world in a very different way, and it was incredibly eye opening to speak to people who have had such different experiences than myself. This ‘reduction of shame’ and ‘visibility’ that Pride gives them was immensely valuable to them, and people should be able to celebrate themselves and have fun, without having to hide who they are.

One man I spoke to, Andonis, told me about what still had to be done for the community. “Life is too short to hate, so live and let live” he told me as he was revving up his motorcycle. We spoke about the problems and phobias people against the LGBT community have, and how visibility needs to be increased for children so that they can understand that being part of the LGBT community is a normal way to live. They aren’t outsiders, they are just

people. He told me about how religions and families are some of the biggest problems that LGBT people face, and it is a global fight, not a localised one. Andonis was right that we still don’t have equality, and you cannot be what you cannot see, so normalising being LGBT goes a long way to people being able to accept who they are. There is a lot of fighting still to be done, and the community won’t stop until it is legal to be an LGBT person everywhere in the world.

I then made my way to the front to take some more photos and speak to some more people, and this is where I came across some resistance to Pride. I of course knew that the more fundamentalist believers in God were opposed to the LGBT community, but I was still saddened to see that they had brought signs and speakers to preach during a time for celebration, not protest. Some of the signs I saw were Bible quotes, and others were your basic ‘this is a sin’ signs. What I did notice was that the only protesters were people from the older generation, and this made me think question whether or not these people were stronger in their convictions because it was tradition to them. It’s much harder for someone to challenge beliefs that are core to them, especially as they get older. These views are views that

these people from older generations grew up with, before the Stonewall riots, before the legalisation of homosexuality. A time that was more religious and more Conservative. I almost felt sorry for these protesters as they seemed more frightened than angry, scared that their way of life was being changed and the values that they grew up with questioned. I don’t agree with what they say by any means, but I do believe that they had a right to protest, even if what they were saying was wrong. I respected the Pride attendees next to them for taking no notice of them, being the bigger person and not resorting to violence. And I did also gain some enjoyment when their Tannoy system was completely drowned out by a drag queen singing Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’ on the back of a float. I spoke to these people briefly and they told me that the rising LGBTQ community is a sign of the rapidly declining morality of society. They tried to convince me that society should be based on Christian ideals and how being in the LGBT community is a sin; but I didn’t feel like it was time for an argument or debate, people were here to celebrate and I had much better things to do so I quickly moved on.

As the parade got to around Trafalgar Square, I was given the incredibly valuable opportunity to speak to Christopher Joell-Deschields, the Executive Director of London Pride. He gave me a quick one-onone interview in which we talked about the importance of Pride. He told me that “in this day and age, Pride is so important because it really creates that level of visibility for us as an LGBT community, but it’s the unity that brings the community together to celebrate, protest, and really have a good time. It also creates a platform for those LGBT persons around the globe who are not able to celebrate around the world in the free way that we are able to

today.”

Asking him what the next 50 years of Pride will look like, he told me that: “hopefully that fight will be over, but as we stand today 50 years on and looking forward to the next 50 years, we know there is still a lot of fighting to do, fighting for our Trans siblings and looking to dismantle the criminality that’s put behind the LGBT persons around the globe. We have to continue a platform to create this space so those issues that we have can go away.”

In such a short conversation, Mr Joell-Deschields brought up a lot of points I had been thinking about on my train journey to Pride. Whilst the Trans community was not a new phenomenon by any means, they have only recently been receiving a lot of the limelight with regards to LGBT struggles, why was this? And we are so lucky in England to live in a community, that whilst is not totally equitable as of yet, was making great strides in that direction; but what about LGBT communities in much more Conservative countries? It made me ponder what could be done not just for LGBT awareness and quality of life in the UK, but in countries were homosexuality isn’t just criminalised, but punishable by death? Is it fair to impose our moral values on other countries that have

different histories and views as us? Should we step in to protect views that other people do not hold? Are there objective values that should be imposed such as acceptance of other gender identities? It reminded me of the Christian protestors I saw earlier, and how we hold diametrically opposing views, and both believe what we say is objectively correct. If we truly believe in the rights of LGBT people, then do we not have a moral obligation to fight for that right for every human being, not just the ones living in the West?

By sheer coincidence, the political floats started showing up. Spearheading the Labour float was Kier Starmer, followed closely by Sadiq Khan and a Mayor of London float, then finally an SNP float. Whilst I was pleased that influential people were taking part in Pride, I was in two minds about this. Since the first gay pride parade in London 50 years ago, there has been a vast change regarding society’s approach to the LGBT community, and this has been almost entirely for the best. Because of the plight of the LGBT community becoming mainstream, support has grown exponentially and many people have been given the confidence to accept their true sexualities, many more people therefore have been able to express their true selves to their families and

friends without a problem, leading to a safer, more inclusive society as a whole.

Pride parades naturally attract a lot of media attention, this in turn brings awareness of the cause to millions, helping to continue societal change surrounding attitudes towards the LGBTQ+ community. But, with the media attention, comes political attention too. Politicians all want to be seen doing their bit to help the LGBT community, and if I am perfectly honest it felt incredibly surface level. It felt as it they wanted to be seen to be doing their part, as opposed to actually doing it. Seeing Sadiq Khan, as formally dressed as ever, walking Infront of a sign with the words ‘Mayor of London’ on it felt disingenuous. It could be that I was being cynical but was it necessary to add the ‘Mayor of London’ onto his Pride flag? I just felt that these MPs were there to show face and to simply garner more votes, as opposed to truly fighting for the community. I couldn’t think of something major off of the top of my head that Kier or Sadiq had done for the community, and I was filled with this insincerity. They were almost taking the spotlight away from LGBT activists who were fighting for rights to be upheld all year round, as opposed to only for a month.

I was also given this peculiar feeling when I saw the parade standing for Ukraine. A very hot topic at the moment, and a great way to gain awareness for the genocide that is happening to the Ukrainian people by the illegal war Russia had started. There was something in my mind however that told me that this almost wasn’t the place for this protest. I absolutely feel for the citizens of Ukraine, and I have been directly affected by the war, with family living in Mariupol, but I still felt as if, to some extent, the limelight was being taken from the main causes of

London Pride, the LGBT community.

The whole goal of Pride is to celebrate the rights and of each sexual orientation, and despite the political gain being taken from pride by politicians, I still felt as if Pride’s primary purpose was to display acceptance of the LGBT community. But some of the people making the most noise about acceptance were companies. Whilst living under Capitalism means that commercialisation is inevitably a natural by-product of any popular event, it still left a bitter taste in my mouth to see companies rainbow-washing themselves for a parade. Rainbow-washing is the process of companies changing their logos or selling rainbow covered products. Whilst not wrong in and of itself, I couldn’t help but feel that these companies weren’t really giving to the community. Of course, the extra visibility that Pride gets is great, but were these companies ‘queering up’ themselves for the sake of the community, or for the sake of profits? During Pride month, it isn’t difficult to spot phone apps sporting rainbow logos, companies releasing LGBT adverts, or selling products that have rainbows on them. Businesses then profit from increasing the prices of these new products during Pride month, and I doubt that much of the increase in sales goes to LGBT charities or institutions. Why don’t companies keep their rainbow logo the whole year round? Don’t they want to show support all the time? They show support for once a month to increase profits, to keep relevancy.

I felt as though these major companies were capitalising on Pride for profits, as opposed to truly caring about people. They were commodifying and commercialising Pride and it felt wrong to me. This, much like the politicisation of Pride, takes

away from the actual message of Pride. It removed the human notion of Pride and felt very forced. The second Pride month is over these companies go back to pretending that the LGBT community doesn’t exist for 11 months, then as soon as it is July, millions are spent on adverts and suddenly there are rainbows everywhere. Pride is obviously a good movement with a strong and important history for a lot of people, but the parade seems to deviate from honouring that history more and more every year. It seems to be more a way for companies to advertise themselves and their ‘inclusiveness’ without necessarily having to change any policies to be more inclusive. Just look at the sponsors of Pride in 2022, Tesco, Coca Cola, BT, Google, Adobe, PlayStation, Just Eat Takeaway, United Airlines, Hard Rock Café, Lego, Pure Gym, and there are more.

There was a dichotomy for me when the parade finished. I felt part of something moral and valuable, but I didn’t like the direction Pride was turning. I feel it is wrong to politicise and commercialise being part of the LGBT community. It is not solely Prides fault, they need sponsors and they need money, but commercialising queerness is commercialising humans. There was something off about it, something fake.

I left London Pride a different man than when I arrived. I almost couldn’t see the point before I spent a day there. I had been to pride events before but I wasn’t as invested as I was this time. I think I used to view pride in the wrong way and I could not see the difference between equality and equity. How was it fair that people who simply have a different gender or sexual orientation to me got an entire month named after them, or festivals or marches? Aren’t we all human? Aren’t we all equal?

I was surprised by this truckload of expressionism that I don’t think I have experienced before in my dayto-day life. There was an aura about this march that felt overwhelming, like the average marcher was using one day a year to express as much about themselves as possible, then returning to normality again. I felt as though this day was so important to so many people because they could truly be free, and truly express their individualism, whilst in the comfort of those around them who actually understand who they are. I could see the joy on the faces of all those who were marching because I could feel a weight being removed from the shoulders of everyone there. I saw people smile in ways I wasn’t used to seeing. These were smiles of not just celebration but of almost redemption. Smiles in the faces of people who had been put down for so long and now have the ability to demonstrate to others exactly who they are. This is not a feeling I have had to feel before, and it was interesting to see it on so many people because it made me realise that acceptance still had a long way to go.

We are, indeed, all equal. But before equality can be reached, equity must be reached. It is not fair to just treat everyone the same way if people have had different life experiences and have therefore been given opportunities and have to live life differently. Pride is not about showing off or creating inequality between those that are not in the LGBT community and those that are, it is making up for years of inequity and balancing that out. This is why I saw such different smiles at Pride than I would have on a normal day walking down the street, these

were smiles that were demonstrating to me that people with different experiences to me feel more safe and comfortable than they regularly do, and I’m not sure how I felt about that. Of course, I was glad, I got to see people celebrating who they are as people, something incredibly valuable, but there was also a discomfort for me because I knew the reason that people at Pride were celebrating so hard is because in their day to day lives, they couldn’t outwardly express themselves fully.

This is what Pride is, people going through human experiences; I know this because I am a human, I have gone through human experiences as well. Different experiences sure, but experiences, nonetheless. What is means to be human is not something in my opinion to be politicised, to be commercialised. It is not something to be understood, it is not something to be boxed. It is something to experience. People celebrating Pride are people going through an experience, an experience greater than what can be bought or sold. They are people celebrating who they are as people. They are people celebrating something about themselves that has helped define who they are, has shaped experiences they hold and has shaped both how they view the world, and how the world views them.

This is something I had no notion of as a heterosexual man. I have never had to celebrate who I am as a person because I have never come up against resistance for being me. This begs the question of can I even speak about Pride as a straight man, and what is my opinion worth? I have different lived experiences, and I haven’t had this struggle to demonstrate to others who I am, but I still understand the worth of a human experience.

I think the issue that some people have with pride is that they view it as tribal. Viewing people as other and not understanding lived experiences. A celebration of who someone is as a person shouldn’t be seen as tribal, they are viewing it wrong. Why it can’t be seen as fellow human beings celebrating differences I don’t understand. Difference doesn’t necessitate hierarchy, you can be different and equal at the same time, you just need empathy for those that you don’t understand, and the faith that they are going through this experience.

Being empathetic of the LGBT struggle isn’t lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, it is being human. You may not understand what these people have gone through exactly but you need to trust that this is something that matters to them. And as a human, it should matter to you too.

EMOTIONAL, IMPRACTICAL AND PART CYBORG

Emma Holly

SENIOR OPINION EDITOR

Iamemotional, impractical and entirely driven by food.

However, when it comes to matters concerning my body, I am stubborn. After a lifetime of various health problems, I have learnt to become an advocate for myself. The number of times that I have sat in a doctor’s office and had to remind them why I’m there, what I need, and that being young doesn’t make you immune to illness, is incredible.

Throughout the last decade on anti-depressants, I have tried various medications. I’m currently on Number Four; we’re not sure if it’s working, and I feel a little like a failed science experiment.

However, there is one area I can have control over – contraception. The day I decided that I was not content with my Microgynon prescription, I began researching other options. I was met with a slightly overwhelming list of contraceptives; some would be injected, others inserted, and the rest consumed. Either way, to avoid getting pregnant, I would have to sacrifice my hormonal balance in one way or another.

When I first entered my relationship, I walked myself down to my local practice and asked for the recommended contraceptive. I was given Microgynon, which is a combined contraceptive pill. I knew absolutely nothing about it but agreed all the same. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has taken tablets without really knowing what they are, or what they do, and I’m sure

I won’t be the last. To be honest, it was only when I came off the Pill that I actually educated myself on what a combined pill was, and how it differed from the mini pill. The combined pill contains two hormones, as opposed to the mini pill’s one, and it actively stops the ovaries from releasing eggs every month. The mini pill, on the other hand, changes the mucus lining to stop sperm from passing through and fertilising the egg. There is a difference there; it’s relatively minor, but still important to know. Do with that information what you will.

I didn’t take Microgynon for long. I lasted about five months on it before I decided it just wasn’t working for me – and that is a reason enough. There doesn’t have to be a dramatic reason that therefore permits you to change your contraception. For me, Microgynon made my periods somewhat heavier, a bit more painful and gave me some headaches. Nothing ridiculous, but I still wanted better for myself. I wanted a contraceptive that I didn’t have to remember to take every day and one that stayed effective even through sickness.

Not long afterwards, I bought Period Power by Maisie Hill and read through her chapter on contraceptives. She listed the many side effects of the Pill that are lesser known, whilst being sure to still reassure her reader that it is still a good contraceptive and that they should feel no shame in taking it. I have friends who have been on the Pill for years and still swear by it. However, she simply wanted to make the other options known.

Hill included a chart which ex-

plained each available contraceptive, its effectiveness, how it is taken, and its positives and negatives. It blew my little mind.

Never had I had all this information so readily available to me. Of course, I could have Googled this topic much sooner and educated myself accordingly, but then I wouldn’t be a bitter woman who is still her own number one healthcare advocate. I weighed up the pros and cons, and ultimately settled on the implant. The implant is a small rod, inserted into the arm with a reasonably painless procedure, and can work for up to three years. It has one of the highest success rates, weighing in at 99% effective. The reason it is considered even more effective than the pill is because it not only prevents your egg from being released, but also thickens the cervical mucus. Win-win.

For the first few weeks, I couldn’t quite get used to the feeling of there being this strange thing in my arm. I felt like I was part cyborg. One of the side effects of the implant is irregular bleeding for the first six months of having it inserted, which is, of course, brilliant.

For some, this could be intolerable, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make. I feel a sense of pride and I feel empowered. I am glad I took my health into my hands and advocated for the contraceptive that suited me best.

I advise you to do the same.

WHERE DO WE EVEN BEGIN?

Sofia Bajerova

Ileft the tube station, aggressively double clicking the side of my phone to ensure that Apple Pay, custodian of my Monzo card, was ready to do its job before I subjected myself to the stares of the people behind, not so secretly shouting obscenities at me in their heads, I am sure of it. I went through the two wings without a hitch, unlike a gentleman who had a less lucky experience, and as a result, for a brief few minutes, our lives intersected. Dressed in a blue suit with a carefully placed Prostate Cancer UK badge attached at the lapel, he strolled through the station with a wide stance, and an increasing rhetoric of disappointment. Without remembering his exact words, he claimed he was shocked and dismayed at the state of the country, that was in his mind, in decline without question, leaving him feeling ashamed and quite clearly, particularly vocal. His bold statements filled the exit tunnels, turning heads, turning eyes in their sockets, and turning cogs in my brain trying to think of the right thing to respond to this complete stranger clearly wanting to engage in some sort of a rant. The best I could do at the time was, acknowledge his statements, nod a little, put on an attempt at a soothing smile and agree that things were seeming particularly glum, it was a Monday after all. As we went our separate ways, I wondered how long he would stay angry. Was that it? His big grand stand against the system, a rushed, incoherent rant to the whole of ten people in a tube station on a Monday evening. I wondered if he went home and caught a second wind, perhaps venting to a partner or a child or a pet. I won-

dered if it would keep him up that night, the state of the world bothering him as news of more horrific things probably troubled his phone screen to add insult to injury. Most of all, I wondered if he would go as far as to try to do anything about it.

I recently read an article that reframed several statistics and claimed that if we look at it from a different perspective, 2023 and the future in general, cannot possibly be as bad as everyone is making it out to be. Deep breath out I thought, the statistics made sense, it was a matter of perspective and this perspective really made the view a lot more palatable. Realising, things now seemed a little better than I thought, the anger and concern dissipated and I just went about my day. After my brief encounter with the man at the tube station, I questioned whether this article really did me any good. It subdued me, calmed me down and allowed me to go on with my life. Paired with the numbness I now feel when reading the news, completely unsurprised by mass shootings, natural disasters and political nightmares, as the BBC banners fly in, I wonder if there could possibly be anything that surprises me anymore. I remember watching the news religiously when Russia’s full scale invasion of Ukraine began, heart racing when notifications flew in and slowly over time, without me really noticing, my fight or flight was unmoved. Have I adapted to tragedy? If I have, it begs the question, is this really a survival tactic or is it what is actually killing us all, planet included?

I am sure that publicly venting made that man feel a little bit better as he looked for comfort in the reassurance of strangers that his verdict was correct. Just like clapping for the NHS made millions feel better during the pandemic. Donating a

fiver, posting a black square on instagram. Those things, so easy to do, pain reducing, comfort inducing acts, all feeds that want for change, the passion to make things better and subdue anger, after which we return to our lives as usual and wait for the next thing that shocks us to spur us into a split second of simple action. But what about doing something more, something bigger, bolder, more successful? What is it that stops us?

Perhaps it is a fear of failure. I recall friends and stories of perfect strangers who have risked everything to fight for a worthy cause and have failed, unlike the heroes in my childhood storybooks. The fact that in this world evil can triumph, no matter how much we believe that good will out in the end, can be rather off putting and demotivating to say the least. If not fear of failure then perhaps the confusion and complexity. Those simple acts we all do are not out of laziness but because they are things we can do. Things we can do without major disruption to our schedules, bank accounts, and personal lives. Perhaps it is not heroic or particularly changemaking, but it is feasible and sometimes feasible has to be enough, for the normal working person at least. So are we just stuck in a world that pans out nothing like the storybooks told us, buying into the ideas that those that came before us penned as fantasies to escape their own tragic realities playing out before them, with no real chance? Or do we all need an awakening, the right thing to make us angry enough and passionate enough, for long enough, and the stamina to pursue that battle? Where do we even begin?

Perhaps this is all the case but there must also be another truly bold act to be discussed. The act of pursu-

ing happiness in and amongst all the chaos and the pain. The joy felt when seeing a loved one smile, when seeing something funny happen on the street. The happiness that the man on the tube might

have inspired by wearing his pin in support of a charity that may have impacted the lives of several commuters he encountered on his journey. The bold choice to continue to find a way to smile on a gloomy day

when the world seems to be falling apart in all comprehensible ways. Perhaps that is how we realise that there is still a lot left to fight for, that there is hope, and that’s where we begin.

Misogyny and the “Manosphere”:

How Mr. Tate’s online presence has shone a light on the lack of healthy male role models.

Harry Stone

Therecent arrest of Andrew Tate has given me the opportunity (and quite frankly, willpower), to explore the legacy and impact of the “Top G”. Before the summer of this year, you’d be hard pressed to find many; with the exception of kickboxing enthusiasts and echo-chamber inhabitants who knew of Tate. Yet, within the span of weeks, he had more google searches than Ukraine, Taylor Swift and Eminem. He arguably revolutionised the use of YouTube Shorts and TikTok, with millions of boys and young men viewing his controversial content, the likes of which echoed the ‘gamergate’ era back when my interest in current affairs was just emerging.

These clips, however, were not new. They had re-emerged from the aforementioned era (201517) as a result of Tate’s “Hustler’s University”; a pyramid scheme which effectively pays those who share his content with those who may be susceptible to the messages. It allowed for the mass dissemination of his “wealth creation” techniques, with frequent political commentary. At the core of this, is the view that the west has been undermined by feminist thought, and only through traditional ‘toxic masculinity’ can

it be restored. Living in Eastern Europe, Tate utilises the traditional social values, and lack of economic regulations to establish himself as the self-appointed “King of Toxic Masculinity”.

To his supporters, Mr. Tate is a bastion of free speech, standing up to “the matrix”, or political establishment, which he believes is not only out to destroy him, but the very ‘values’ in which he espouses. In such a politically polarised year, this has seen him align with Vladimir Putin’s Russia, alongside other right-wing characters; viewing Ukraine’s supporters as part of this “woke” system. However, it does not take long to realise (for any genuine advocate for free expression) the glaring hypocrisies in this line of argument.

If you check social media, you will see conservative influencers, and Tate supporters arguing that the ongoing trafficking investigation is nothing more than the ‘cancelling’ of a figure that “they” (typically an antisemitic trope) dislike. Yet, they will more than happily accuse a minimum wage drag queen of “grooming children” with far less proof.

Tate’s rise to fame is also part of a wider trend of ‘inceldom’, which not only perplexes many within the media, but poses a genuine threat to the safety of women, and frames the discourse around men’s issues

in a starkly “we are not feminists” fashion. Masculinity, thus, has to take on a toxic foundation, with attempts to hark back to an era where gender roles were more rigid (women were economically and socially subservient).

However, this does not need to happen. Masculinity is not an inherently toxic concept. The material conditions which have enshrined patriarchal values within our society serve to benefit the men who have “made it”, yet for the majority of men, toxic masculinity continues to ridicule, shame and disempower their aspirations. Tate professes to helping men, yet will deny the existence of depression (which affects one in eight men). His lack of manners, and disregard for the individual experiences of women has helped to cultivate a following of men who, because of a lack of other role models, will find meaningful romantic or platonic connections all but impossible.

Consequently, feminist men with large platforms must bridge a void in the ‘men’s issues’ discourse, by understanding that men will experience masculinity in different ways. Encouraging all people to work out is not a negative or toxic view, but if we want to truly combat the surge in ‘Incel Kings’, an alternative message promoting healthy interactions between genders must be offered.

Tiktok, Trends and Tarte

The new ‘it’ girl Alix Earle and why we shouldn’t compare.

Tia Martello STAFF WRITER

It’sabundantly evident that 22-year-old Alix Earle is TikTok’s new big thing. She personifies an all-American girl who became famous by talking getting ready with me’s (GRWMs), and so far, her lavish life hasn’t disappointed amongst her dazzling story times. But it made me wonder—what made her so well-liked? From Autumn until the end of the year, Alix accumulated almost 2 million fans, demonstrating how eagerly people were anticipating her climb to prominence. It is clear that her image’s key selling point is her relatability. I can’t avoid the sight of a lovely Miami beauty who consistently appears on my ‘for you page,’ and as a woman, I continuously find myself comparing myself to her.

She has always been quite upfront about her sporadic relationship with Tyler Wade, her tendency to be untidy and disorganised, her issue with acne, and the side effects of ‘Accutane’ (a drug used to treat acne with many depressive side -effects) which sets her apart from most “influencers” in that she gives an alternate narrative for the younger audience. She has been open about her high school challenges with body image and the difficulties she encountered trying to fit in with a lunchtime eating culture. In order to remove any stigma associated with obtaining medication for mental health difficulties, she has been extremely open

about how her anxiety has affected her life and the medications she takes to help her every day. Despite the fact that this American culture is incompatible with British society, she raises awareness of the universal teen experience because of her global fan base. We as a culture find solace in these universal experiences as it makes the hardship of girlhood a little less personally isolating by her sharing her own struggles. She is a good example of the idiom ‘hell is a teenage girl’ since she reflects on the difficulties of growing up in a technology-driven society in a very authentic way. It is encouraging to see someone who is so honest about removing the curtain from the ‘filtered reality’ promoted on TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram.

There are, however, limits to Alix’s relatability. Personally, like with most social media, using TikTok can be a dangerous game because one wrong swipe might leave me feeling self-conscious when another toned beauty appears in a bikini and forces me to resume paying for a gym subscription. Although this scenario is completely based on my own personal ideas, I believe that women, especially young girls, experience some kind of common ground when it comes to modern day confidence. The relatability of Alix Earle’s traits is what makes her personality easier to watch and serves as a gentle reminder that we are all imperfect human beings who collectively experience the same self-doubts as the next person. However, as with other body-positive advocates, when they gain experience and exposure, they stop being accessible and persona-

ble. For instance, Alix Earle recently travelled first class to Dubai with the makeup company Tarte to promote their brand, all costs paid. If I said I wouldn’t take advantage of an opportunity if it were provided to me, I would be lying because I know probably most people would. However, the attention surrounding these sincere people makes it more difficult for their audience to become committed and continue engagement. Therefore, it can be challenging to assess your position as an influencer, but I believe it is still possible to maintain consistency with encouraging feminine content. People who go through these kinds of experiences start to lose connection to reality, and the people who inspired us, end up becoming exactly what they protested against: filtered individuals. This demonstrates how we must work to find our own joy from our own intrinsic value and that we cannot rely on the candour of our once favoured individuals.

Without sounding like a self-love article - we simply shouldn’t compare ourselves. I’ve chosen Alix Earle as a specific illustration of an image-positive influencer, but she really serves as a symbol for all the nameless women we use as benchmarks for our own beauty standards. I sincerely hope that the attention she is getting will prevent her from going down the road of indifference and inconsistency. Ironically, I believe that her capacity to accept herself and to be ‘bold’ is what made her such a lovable influencer because as humans, we are drawn to this vivacious energy. If only we

shared the same self-perceptions, accepting our imperfections and mistakes while still loving ourselves, as we shouldn’t let our fears about ourselves interfere with our daily lives.

There is a particular quote made by Emma Thompson in an interview where she says “Don’t waste your life’s purpose worrying about your body. This is your vessel. It’s your house. It’s where you live, there’s no point in judging it. Absolutely no point.” This particularly resonated

with me because ever since hearing it, I have begun to judge myself a little less. After all, what kind of life do we lead if we are constantly comparing ourselves to others? Is a life like that even meaningful? I believe we would all feel a little less hatred toward our appearances if we were to reflect on all the places our bodies have taken us, the accomplishments we have made, and the places they will take us in the future. Even though our lives don’t seem like the ones others depict on our

phone screens, they are nonetheless meaningful. The recent epidemic of individuals demanding greater openness, particularly from beauty gurus, suggests that as a generation, we could be moving in the right direction. It is encouraging to learn that some influencers, like Alix Earle, work to represent the real in a society populated by fakes, and in light of this, we should all be a little bit kinder to ourselves because nothing is really as it seems.

Will you go on the record?

How ‘She Said’ reminds us of the sad realities of Hollywood.

Daisy Clarkson

Released five years after the original article from The New York Times was published, ‘She Said’ tells the story of the two journalists who uncovered the Harvey Weinstein sexual assault scandal. Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey are played by Zoe Kazan and Carey Mulligan respectively, yet the film also includes actresses who were victims of Weinstein including Gwyneth Paltrow and Ashley Judd, who play/voice themselves.

The film itself is subtle, yet the statement it makes is bold. By criticising the very industry that it has been created in, the film sets out to confront the industry professionals who will be watching this film –many of whom will have worked with Weinstein, maybe even defended him. ‘She Said’ does not glamorise Hollywood or the media industry – it does the opposite.

By both exploring and exposing the realities behind manipulative, high-powered professionals, ‘She Said’ depicts the fight to uncover

the truth. In turn, its representation of the world of journalism is bitterly realistic – allowing the audience an insight into the verbal abuse thrown at journalists – both by the subjects of their writing and members of the public.

Both Zoe Kazan and Carey Mulligan are extremely strong in their roles, they work perfectly together on screen, we can only hope that we will get more collaborative work from them in the future. Mulligan, recently Golden – Globe nominated for her performance, continues a streak of female – fronted films. ‘She Said’, comes a year after the release and success of Mulligan’s Oscar – nominated performance in ‘Promising Young Woman’ (2021), both films produce a commentary on the MeToo movement, ‘She Said’ being the start of its widespread attention, and ‘Promising Young Woman’ displaying the result of the movement.

Although it was five years ago that the article released, the film is still so poignant today

– the film’s release coincided with Weinstein’s ongoing trial in Los Angeles, for which he was found guilty of 3 charges, which included rape, forced oral copulation and third-degree sexual misconduct. Overseas, Weinstein still has outstanding charges in London.

The bold choices taken by Kantor and Twohey in their original article and subsequent book, paved the way for the further criticism of not only the entertainment industry but the treatment of women worldwide. ‘She Said’ continues their legacy and proves that truth matters, regardless of how difficult it may be to uncover.

A Wolf in Women’s Clothing?

Daniel Pepin

Paris Fashion Week. This key date is marked in the calendars of models, designers, influencers, and critics around the world. A holy week of exulting in the glory and glamour of high fashion. It elegantly marks the start of a new year of style and exhilaration in the industry. 2023 was no exception. One fashion house in particular has already set the internet ablaze: Schiaparelli. Schiaparelli’s Haute Couture opened this year’s proceedings with wild abandon. The timeless and debonair hallways of Petit Palais, Paris’s Museum of fine arts, became a hunting ground for the King of the Jungle. When Irina Shaykhlislamova prowled onto the runway she was accompanied by a life-size, photorealistic faux lion’s head upon her shoulder. Fixed in a proud snarl, this lion became quick prey for the show’s attendees who feasted themselves on the look. Of course, Shaykhlislamova was not alone, Kylie Jenner let the cat out of the bag as she wore the same piece in the front row – alongside Doja Cat and her 30,000 Swarovski crystals. It goes without saying that the ensemble is staggering. The visual treat of luxurious mane caressing the sculpted cheekbones of Shaykhlislamova, and Jenner is sublime. Silhouetted by the sheer black gown, the lion’s head takes on such a realism that, I’m sure, if a camera got too close to the lion’s jaws the lens would fog up. The lion was not alone. Shalon

Harlow was ferocious but flinty wrapped in the coat and head of a pale Leopard who’s wildness was tamed by its model’s coolness. Clad in an alluring yet guarded shaggy black overcoat, complete with Wolf’s head resting on her shoulder, fashion icon Naomi Campbell forced any challengers into submission. Daniel Roseberry is the creative mind behind these extraordinary designs. He cites Dante’s Inferno as his source for the beasts, each symbolising a deadly sin. The lion represents pride; the leopard, lust; and the wolf symbolising avarice.

Naturally, the main talking point of the looks was their authenticity. While they may look like the real thing, the heads are all completely faux and the result of hours of hand-crafted work from the creative team under Roseberry. However, there is no reason denying that they resemble hunting trophies. They do. Something one might find on the walls of a seasoned big game hunter’s home. Naturally, this has sparked incandescent rage online with swathes of people condemning Schiaparelli and Roseberry for glorifying poaching. Equally, people have come out in support of the astonishing craftsmanship and the playfulness of the show. Roseberry himself claims, on his Instagram, that the show celebrates the “glory of nature and guarding the woman who wears it”. Coming so close after a major ban on fur products from Gucci, and Oscar de la Renta banning its use of fur after pressure from its latest spokesperson, Billie Eilish;

Roseberry is certainly toying with the limits of the fashion industry. Referring to it himself as the concept of “the doubt of creation and the doubt of intent” Schiaparelli knew this look would please and disturb in equal measure. But is it not this innovation; this daring, risqué commentary on the fashion industry’s evolution, that makes it oh so magnificent?

NEWSIES!

A musical about the importance of strikes.

Beth McCowen SENIOR LIFESTYLE EDITOR

Currently playing a successful run at the Troubadour Wembley Park Theatre, Newsies is based on the 1992 Disney film of the same name. The dance-heavy, high-energy show tells the touching true story of the 1899 Newsboys Strike. Protagonist Jack Kelly and his energetic gang of young newsboys earn their keep by selling newspapers of the streets of New York City, but when the paper prices are increased, the newsies are left struggling. The hero of the story, Jack, and an inspiring female news reporter (a rare find at the end of the nineteenth century) who writes under the name Katherine Plummer, decide to form a union and fight back against the New York World and its powerful publisher. Despite their charisma, determination and genuine cause, the union is shunned and dubbed unreasonable and idealistic. The determination of these young people to stand up for their rights and morals is admirable. It includes touching songs like Santa Fe, the motivational Watch What Happens, and the popular Seize the Day, all of which emphasise the production’s passion for equality, and unwavering support for those who must go on strike. The genius script and choreography facilitate a valuable conversation about the impact it has when employers do not value their staff highly enough.

The story remains poignant in 2023, and watching as a university student was especially eye-opening given the recently announced University and College Union strikes, which are bound to impact our

studies. It is true that many of us have missed out on substantial portions of our education due to the pandemic, strikes, and other circumstances. However, like the newsboys of 1899, all the unions are asking for is fairness.

The UCU confirmed that around 70,000 members of the union will go on strike following disputes regarding pension cuts, working conditions and pay. Employees everywhere deserve to feel supported, and it is important to also remember that these factors also make up our learning conditions. These strikes are scheduled to take place on the following dates, making it the biggest series of strikes UK universities have ever seen:

Week 1 - Wednesday 1 February

Week 2 - Thursday 9 and Friday 10 February

Week 3 - Tuesday 14, Wednesday 15 and Thursday 16 February

Week 4 - Tuesday 21, Wednesday 22 and Thursday 23 February

Week 5 - Monday 27 and Tuesday 28 February and Wednesday 1 and Thursday 2 March

Week 6 - Thursday 16 and Friday 17 March

Week 7 - Monday 20, Tuesday 21 and Wednesday 22 March

A joint statement from all five Higher Education trade unions regarding a new offer from employers was released on 26th January 2023 and states the following:

We were disappointed by employers continuing to insist on a real-terms pay cut for 2023/4 which fails to address the 2022/23 dispute.

We looked to employers to make an

inflation-based offer backdated to August 22 as well as a commitment to resolve pay-related issues.

University workers have suffered year-on-year pay cuts and this offer fails to offer any improvement.

We remain committed to a negotiated settlement.

From this action and statement, it is clear that previous negotiations have been unsuccessful, leaving union members feeling like they have few options left. Sat in the buzzing theatre, filled with people who felt triumphant, and even emotional as they watched the outstandingly talented cast of Newsies pour their heart and soul into sharing the experience of the underpaid newsboys and their fight to be heard. During these two hours, I felt my understanding of the strikes deepen, and my unwavering support for the union thicken. It may be inconvenient for many of us, and the action may appear drastic, but is that not the point? All strikes are supposed to ignite conversation and cause some level of disruption. This does unfortunately have a knock-on effect on those like us who are, in this instance, trying to learn. However, the inconvenience should not undermine the purpose of the walkouts. Eventually, the newsies participated in an effective negotiation which culminated in improvements to their working conditions. I can only hope that the same will one day be true of the UCU, but in the meantime, Newsies reminds us that it is crucial for students to acknowledge the necessity of the upcoming strikes, and remain hopeful that change is coming.

Letting Go of Compulsory Shame:

Healing the inner teenage girl.

Beth McCowen SENIOR LIFESTYLE EDITOR

Growing up, teenage girls often have to get used to being the butt of people’s jokes. During an already challenging part of most of our lives, constant pressure to look and act a certain way only serves to alienate us further. As we move through university and into our adult lives, it’s time to let go of feeling embarrassed by all the things we were conditioned to be.

Most of us have probably felt at some point during our teenage years that whatever we did would be ridiculed. You love one direction? Crazy fan girl. You don’t really like them? You’re odd, everyone else does. Girls should wear makeup, but not too much. Keep in tune with the latest fashion trends or your peers won’t respect you. Work hard enough to be smart, but not too smart, or you’ll be branded a nerd and an outcast.

Maybe not all schools were quite as Mean Girls-esque as this, but many most likely were. It isn’t always full-scale bullying that can knock someone’s confidence, but the ever-changing beauty standards and social expectations alone keep young women on their toes and instil self-doubt so deeply within us, that we are left with the task of undoing what are now instinctive judgments about ourselves. Once we start to be more self-sufficient, many of us realise a few home truths.

For one thing, why do we feel embarrassed by doing literally anything on our own? Buying a coffee, doing a food shop, going to the gym; why do so many of us always feel so much more comfortable doing things like these if we have a friend by our side? For some, it’s because being seen alone in secondary school was an indicator that you weren’t very popular, despite how untrue that may (or may not) be. Either way, who cares? It’s astonishing that such trivial assumptions can, even subconsciously, still play on our minds several years later. As silly as it may seem on the outside, once you have that fear of doing things solo, however big or small the activity might be, it’s a really difficult habit to get out of, and it can become almost too easy to rely on and centre your life around others. Starting small can really help. Next time you plan on doing one slightly mundane task or another, just have a go at doing it alone. What’s the worst that could happen if you take a solo day trip into the city and visit your favourite shop?

There is also the bizarre concept of ‘pics or it didn’t happen’. There has, since the development of social media platforms like Instagram, been an unspoken expectation that we should share images from almost any social event we attend. If you don’t post pictures from your housemate’s birthday night out, for example, how will anyone know you were really there? Concern over being viewed as a ‘loner’ or some other meaningless insult is so ingrained into us, that it becomes hard to say no to things we, deep down, don’t want to do, but we are left feeling like we have no real choice. At this point, those who abstain from using apps like Snapchat, or the most recent trending social network, BeReal, are the ones who stand out. Why, though, should anyone feel obligated to share their day with the world, or even just their friends? Of course, sometimes it is nice to document memories and show those we don’t see in person what we are getting up to, but all of this should be on your terms and not because you feel like you must.

Fear of missing out (or FOMO) is a real phenomenon in this day and age. In fact, it’s probably what most of this conversation can be traced back to. So, the point is, to truly be happy, we must remind ourselves that the social expectations placed on us from such a young age can be detrimental, therefore separating ourselves from them is often a good thing. Learning to be independent is a key part of university life, and it’s easier said than done, but finding the joy in small things and learning to love your own company really can elevate your mood.

Image: Gemma Chua via Unsplash

Being Confident in Times of Uncertainty

Emilie Williams STAFF WRITER

So, you are months away from graduating and your educational journey is coming to an end. Now what? The prospect of absolute freedom feels more like doom, and you feel completely lost. Everyone’s experience of university is different, but I’m sure that there’s a shared anxiety over finishing your degree. You are accomplishing an amazing thing and yet all you can think about is ‘what’s next?’. You barely have time to reflect on your achievements and everyone seems to be asking what you have got planned next.

The pressure for students to transition into a new job quickly after graduation is a problem that stems from freshers. Friends and family members seem to ask what you are doing to prepare for your future job whilst you are struggling under the mountains of work. The expectation to constantly grow your CV and employability whilst tackling endless reading and assignments feels overwhelming. As students, we are constantly climbing the academic and career ladder whilst desperately wanting a break.

But why should we place such importance on our careers and success in the first place? Doesn’t this set the expectation that we should be searching for fulfilment in these jobs and opportunities? In an ideal world, everyone would feel free to stumble upon their ‘thing’ through trial and error without social commentary or ridicule. But alas, that’s not the reality of our western society. To be bold in such a career-driven society is to reject the notion that your job defines you and to instead find purpose in your inner life. You

are more than what job you do to pay the bills, whether you find enjoyment in your occupation or not.

What does this rejection look like, exactly? Instead of worrying that you’re not doing enough, enter the next chapter of your life with confidence that you are enough. Our early twenties should be the time to be daring, courageous, fearless, adventurous. We shouldn’t be afraid to find out who we are. You may face disappointment, rejection, and frustration whilst looking for new opportunities, but this is all part of the experience. You will never learn anything unless you try, and now is the best time to make all the mistakes you can.

This boldness may sound completely unattainable but is an act of selflove amidst the ambiguity of life. You never know what tomorrow will bring and so letting go of the instinct to resist change is the most freeing thing you can do for yourself.

Here are 5 reminders to help you strive for confidence in times of uncertainty:

It’s okay to just focus on your studies while you’re at university, you don’t have to be constantly obsessing over what comes next.

You may feel pressured to start planning out the details of your future as everyone around you seems to be doing the same. If university work is all you can handle right now, that is okay. Try not to cave into the pressure of having everything planned out when your studies are already very demanding. Even if you do have everything planned out, it still may not work out the way you envision it. So, take things slowly, do what you can, and try not to stress about the future too much.

It’s okay to have no idea what you want to do after you graduate.

You’ve been in education for a long time so it’s okay to give yourself a break from constantly climbing the ladder. It’s difficult to name even a handful of people who are in the same occupation that they started in. Everyone’s paths, needs, and desires change. Your career is not set in stone, and you can experiment in whatever field you like.

Other people’s opinions are not facts. Do what interests you and what feels right.

It’s common to hear advice that feels more like a demand or pressure to do something you have no interest in. Some people may be projecting their desires onto the fresh path ahead of you. It’s important to tune into what you want to do instead of conforming to what you feel like you should be doing.

Take time to celebrate your achievements before moving on to the next steps.

I bet that you find yourself going straight into the next challenge or opportunity once you have finished something. Instead, congratulate yourself on all you have achieved so far, even the small things. They all add up thanks to your hard work and perseverance.

Take things as they come.

As cheesy as it sounds, what is meant to be will simply be. If something is right for you, whether that is a job or opportunity, it will find you. Taking the route of believing you will never achieve anything will only make you notice the negative things more. Trust the process that everything will work out, and you might just find your worries dissipating.

Learning How To Be Bold In Your 20s: A review of

First and foremost, The Bold Type is made for women (be it confident women, or girls who have no idea how to radiate female power without worrying they are ‘too much’). The show takes viewers on a journey following the professional and personal self-discovery of three best friends. Working for Scarlet, a renowned women’s magazine, Sutton Brady (Meghann Fahy) Kat Edison (Aisha Dee) and Jane Sloan (Katie Stevens) have to figure out how to be independent whilst trusting others. So, here is a glimpse into The Bold Type:

Oh, hell no!

The show has a strong start. In the first season, Jane has to come out of her comfort zone and write about orgasms. You’re probably thinking, that should be easy! How many women in their 20s have never orgasmed, not even by themselves? Jane would be one of them. Feeling like a fraud whilst her friends are having the most amazing sex, and even her boss talks about the best sex positions to try out, Jane has to find her cup of tea when it comes to getting off. With no medical explanation for her climaxing problem, her research has to start somewhere. Jane first meets a sexologist, and when that fails, she goes old school. From watching porn to trying out erotic novels to find her perfect fantasy, Jane tries everything. Not being able to get out of her own head ends up being the problem. So instead of hiding behind what other people expect or think, she tells the

The Bold Type.

truth. Her finished article addresses the women who have never had an orgasm, normalising her experience, and the experience of many others, in a sexually woke world.

Before Tequila Sunrise

The girls of The Bold Type are stuck in the office during a traffic jam. Jane loses her pitch on genderless fashion to another colleague, and Sutton tries to figure out if she should confess her love for Richard, a board member for Scarlet magazine. But Kat’s relationship with Adena, her first lesbian partner, centres this episode. Adena is a Muslim and proud lesbian from Iran who moved to France, but comes to New York for an art gallery. Originally, Adena saw Scarlet as an anti-feminist magazine, but her views change as she breaks up with her previous love-interest in France and makes her way to Kat. The directors explore immigration and female rights in the Middle East, with Adena having visa problems and risking being deported to her home country. Kat acts on impulse and love, with a bold romantic gesture of being with the woman she loves at the airport. The two end up talking, having an unconventional date and sex in the airport’s hotel. In the end, Adena is deported but their newfound connection does not stop there. Kat follows Adena to Iran, looking at the glass half full once together with her new girlfriend. Spoiler alert, Adena does return to the US but both women struggle to be themselves whilst in a committed relationship.

relationship with sex, Scarlet needs someone to write an article about sex in today’s age. What better way to do that than going to a sex club, not that Jane has ever done that before. Kat and Sutton of course join her, with Kat doing some research of her own by looking at a new female led company that makes vibrators. Jacqueline, their boss, is the first one to jump at the opportunity of having a new vibrator added to her collection after separating from her husband. After a 20-year marriage, finding your confidence in relationships again is a challenge. At the sex party, what’s bolder than kissing someone after finding out that your boyfriend also kissed someone else on his book tour. But both Jane and Ryan hated kissing other people, so reaching that conclusion, Jane goes back home and has some great makeup sex. This episode reveals that the millennials ultimately adore sex parties, with the definition of intimacy ever-changing.

Love

Babes in Toyland

The title of this episode says it all. Going back to Jane and her personal

Now, the show turns to a detailed look at the ups and downs that come with love, and falling for someone you should not. Sutton and Richard’s 15-year age gap relationship is complicated. Sutton is 26 and faces the trials and tribulations of falling for a 41-year-old man. The first thing likely to be going through your head as a woman starting off her career is: what will people think? Despite this, they make their relationship public, figure out their different needs and wants when it comes to the age difference, break up and get back together a million times. In the end, after getting engaged and married, they break it off due to a difference of opinion regarding starting a fam-

ElenaTeodora Chiujdea

ily. Sutton does not want any kids, but Richard does. The young woman stays true to herself, happy in the now and seemingly ready to face the heartbreak of divorcing someone she still loves.

So, are you convinced yet? The Bold Type covers everything from selflove, to sexuality, friendship, sex flings, divorce, and career struggles. To a 20-year-old woman, it’s her own personal guide on how to gain

your confidence in a world that’s trying to crush it. Be your own self and start your journey to boldness in bed with a hot chocolate or some popcorn, binge watching the show from start to finish.

Millie Draper ASSOCIATE LIFESTYLE EDITOR

Being a third-year student, the pressure to succeed becomes extremely heavy. Although it is the last stretch, it leaves me wishing for more time to improve academically. Working tirelessly over the Christmas break, keeping up with weekly reading and attending lectures and seminars starts to become more overwhelming than ever. I spend most days working until 11pm, which has left me questioning; where can I find time for myself?

When I do force myself to have a break and slow down, I reach for Tik Tok. However, this doesn’t help as my page is flooded with motivational study compilations, bragging about how much they achieved that day. I compare myself to those videos, wondering how to become just like them. The line between healthy and unhealthy study habits becomes blurred because they romanticise essay writing. The truth is, there is nothing romantic about it!

Inevitably, if I keep working like this, I will burn out. But the guilt for having downtime is horrible. Whenever I take a break, I think of all the things I could have achieved in that time. Truthfully, this is a very unhealthy mindset, and I am starting to change it.

Luckily, I came across a snippet of Emma Chamberlain’s podcast, where she talks about how she doesn’t have sympathy for herself. This took me aback, realising that I resonate with this. When you look at yourself, you always think you can try harder and do better. But what if you’re already doing your best? Why is that not enough? She continues to say that she views others as human beings but doesn’t view herself as needing that same care. I took a minute after hearing this and realised that this was exactly how I was feeling. Why can’t I feel sympathy for myself? Why do I try to push myself so much and never be satisfied when I succeed?

How are you supposed to succeed if you don’t take care of yourself? Why can’t I take a two-hour break to watch a movie just because? The answer is that I can and should! In the long run, giving yourself time to unwind is much better than pushing yourself beyond your limits. Recently, I’ve implemented some techniques to give myself that time. Here’s what I’ve tried recently:

1. Putting anything related to your studies in another room so it is not in your sight whilst trying to relax.

2. Watch a movie or TV show.

3. Have at least one day off of university work per week.

4. Try to take only a little work

home, and do as much as possible in a working environment like the library or coffee shop.

5. When a friend suggests going somewhere, say yes.

Truthfully, self-care isn’t always easy to do. It can take a long time to feel like you deserve to take time for yourself. My journey has only just started, and it is tough to switch off when you know that much is to be done. But that can be done another time. Treat yourself with kindness because you deserve nothing less than that. This realisation has taken the pressure off of being the perfect student. In time, knowing that I’ve tried my best is much better than burning out and not being able to give everything I can.

I can always work harder – can’t I? Journeying towards self-care.

SPORT

LGBTQ+ History Month

RHUL Lacrosse

Founded by Schools Out, the overall aim of LGBT+ History Month is to promote equality and diversity for the benefit of the public. They achieve this by:

Increasing the visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (“LGBT+”) people, their history, lives and their experiences in the curriculum and culture of educational and other institutions, and the wider community

Raising awareness and advancing education on matters affecting the LGBT+ community

Working to make educational and other institutions safe spaces for all LGBT+ communities

Promoting the welfare of LGBT+ people, by ensuring that the education system recognises and enables LGBT+ people to achieve their full potential, so they contribute fully to society and lead fulfilled lives, thus benefiting society as a whole

Royal Holloway is a proudly diverse

university with a clear stance on allyship to its many Queer students. In particular, the aims of LGBTQ+ History Month align with the goals of Royal Holloway Lacrosse and The Orbital. These are more than just extracurriculars, with both striving to create a home away from home for their Queer members. February is the perfect opportunity to go the extra mile in doing this, so we have decided to come together this LGBTQ+ History Month to express our ongoing support for the Queer community.

Whether you identify as Queer or not, this month is a good time to learn a little bit more about why LGBTQ+ history is so important, and how you can support the community. Many consider themselves extremely lucky to be at a university as accepting as Royal Holloway, but Queer people around the world are still faced with lots of additional challenges both within and outside of the sporting world. You never know who might be struggling with their identity in this way, so showing your support as an individual, sports club, or society could make all the difference.

Royal Holloway’s lacrosse club takes pride in being an especially safe space for many Queer members. They are passionate about sharing the importance of Queer representation in sport, LGBT+ History Month,

and how sport has positively impacted the university experience of many Queer students. The Orbital spoke to two members of the club about the importance of the sport to them, and here is what they had to say:

“Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community myself, it is always important to feel like you belong and can do sports without judgement or prejudice. So being the president of lacrosse, I want every member to feel safe and loved in our club and to celebrate being queer sportspeople. I feel like our club is extremely friendly and to have other queer team members is a special feeling and will always remain a safe place for people who also identify as part of the community!” –

Caitlin Scott, President.

“Joining a club as social, fun and supportive (in all capacities) as RHUL Lacrosse really can make the university experience, especially if you are someone who has struggled with your sexuality or gender identity previously, and been left feeling like a bit of an outsider. Every single member is so valued, cared about and encouraged, both within the sport itself and on a more personal basis. It definitely feels like a real safe space for Queer sportspeople, and I really hope to see lots more of us joining in! Don’t worry if you have never picked up a lacrosse stick in your life. It’s largely about fun, friendship and learning a brand new skill. To me, there is no better way to meet some like-minded people.” -

Beth McCowen

Here are some inspirational LGBTQ+ professional athletes who have paved the way for a more in-

clusive sports world:

Nicola Adams OBE: Making History, Breaking Records

-Britain’s most successful female boxer

-Won a Gold medal at the London 2012 Olympics

-Proudly part of the LGBTQ+ community

Alana Smith: Progress in Tokyo

-Accomplished non-binary athlete

-Competed for the USA in street

skateboarding at Tokyo’s Olympics

Beth Mead: Driving Force Behind the Success of Women’s Football

-Winner of BBC’s 2022 Sports Personality of the Year

-Forward for the successful England and Arsenal Women’s football teams

-In a relationship with fellow footballer Vivianne Miedema

Patricio Manuel: Fighting Prejudice

-Professional boxer as a woman prior to coming out as trans

-Was dropped by his coach and gym after transitioning

-Fought Hugo Aguilar in 2018, becoming the first openly transgender boxer in the US

Greg Louganis: Olympian and Activist

-Won four gold and one silver medal at three Olympic Games as a diver

-Came out as gay after this, in 1994

-Announced he was living with AIDS in 1995

Fall Forward

Peter Vigh

SENIOR SPORTS EDITOR

“Nothing in life is worthwhile unless you take risks. Fall Forward”

– Denzel Washington

This is what the graduates of University of Pennsylvania received as departing wisdom from Denzel Washington. Interesting that he chooses to cast an image of the unknown at a time when the unknown can be seriously unsettling. But this mentality. It creates risk takers. Personalities. People that others might call reckless or bold. To be bold you must take risks and to take risks you must be brave.

Brave.

That is a word that continues to rise in the world of sport. Whether that’s through standing against discrimination, standing proud within the LGBT+ community or through sheer determination. Bravery is something that radiates from the quietest to the wildest among the bold.

It is important we celebrate this bravery. Recognise bravery as to

give others permission to be brave and bold. Recently, both these characters of bravery were celebrated. The Quiet one and the Wild one.

The Wild one: Ken Block.

Ken Block was a personality. One which will leave a void unfilled in the car community. Early January, he died doing what he loved…. taking a risk. Following his death, the car community came together as a reminder of all the hearts he touched. That’s what bold people do, their spirit reaches further than their arms grasp.

This spirit, though intense, embodied falling forward literally. Through Ken’s action-sport loving lifestyle to his overwhelming positivity, he was a walking billboard for bold. Taking risks to do what he loves. Even though in the end, he paid the ultimate price.

The price.

There is indeed a price to pay if you take a risk. The price of uncertainty.

The Quiet one: Ellie Downie.

Uncertainty is a feeling Ellie Downie sure must be familiar with. Being a world-class gymnast must bring about anxiety and pressure of keep-

ing your body and mind 100% to perform. A pressure that can degrade a person. This is something that Ellie has recognised thus encouraging her to make the decision to retire from gymnastics at the age of 23. The main reason being happiness and mental wellbeing.

That’s quite a hit when you hear it but is becoming more common in the sporting world. It is only now that people have the bravery to prioritise their happiness over a potential career. It is something that has been bubbling under the surface and is only coming to light now. The quiet bravery by which athletes are making a stand for their happiness and by doing so, they allow others to make a stand too. Fall forwards into the unknown.

This unknown is what taking a risk is all about. Taking a risk is among the boldest actions one can do. Whether that’s through large and clear actions or smaller more personal steps. Everyone has the power to be bold. Its bravery will reward you with uncertainty. For which you cannot ask for better as it is a blank sheet. A blank sheet to which you can open yourself onto and be bold about who you really are.

This Girl Can!

RHUL Lacrosse

This Girl Can is an initiative which aims to encourage women and girls of all shapes, sizes, abilities and backgrounds to get active. It was first created after Sport England discovered that women were consistently less active than men despite a general increase in activeness in the English population, and realised this gender gap must be addressed. Launched in 2015, This Girl Can is passionate about celebrating exercise in all its forms. The campaign looks to challenge conventional ideas about sport, and reach out to women who have historically been excluded by traditional exercise. It’s all about subverting stereotypes and getting girls moving without any shame or strings attached.

Throughout the week, Royal Holloway Sport is offering extra active sessions and exercise classes for women. Alongside this, on Friday in the Orchard Collaborative Space from 11am-12pm, there will be a session on identifying barriers and how Royal Holloway can encourage women to get involved in physical activity. The Students Union has also been circulating a survey where you can have your say on how the university can make it easier for women to participate in sport. One of the most popular sports for women at Royal Holloway is Lacrosse. We spoke to some of their committee and members to find out what This Girl Can and Lacrosse mean to them:

“Lacrosse is so important to me, it gives me a space outside of work to be with my friends doing something I love.” – Laura Berry

30th January-5th February 2023

“Getting involved in a sports club like lacrosse not only helps me stay active, but has also helped me develop confidence and gives me a break from normal coursework and deadlines. Training and playing with a team every week helps me develop my fitness, and allows me to feel part of a community who I can rely on both on and off the pitch.” –

Jess Clayton-Rowley, Club Captain

“Sport helps massively with dealing with mental health. Getting out and having a throw around with friends can make you feel so much better both physically and mentally as well as taking your mind off all the stressful parts of your day. The lacrosse club is the foundations of my social life at uni and my teammates are always there for me on and off the pitch. The club is my support network away from home and I would be lost without it!” –

Darcy Currah, Social and Welfare Secretary

“Being a women’s captain has increased my confidence working with lots of different people. Training together to see everyone improving and growing has been really rewarding.” – Laura Berry, Women’s 1s Captain

“Joining lacrosse has been one of the best decisions I have made since being at Royal Holloway. Bonding with your team is such an amazing experience which makes training and matches easy to stay motivated for, and the regular socials have created a supportive environment for people like me who were totally

new to lacrosse. Playing such a fun sport regularly is more beneficial for both my mental and physical health than I can put into words.” –

Beth McCowen

“Sport is important to me because - just the same as it is for boys - it’s an outlet to de-stress, have fun and do something competitive. It’s work without feeling like it’s work and it’s a great way to meet friends and have a laugh” – Sophie

Cutler,

Vice President

Being a human is so embarrassing so I’ve decided to stop being embarrassed and also I love my mom

by Hannah Armour

It’s the end of January and the flowers my mother sent me are dying. Well, they’ve always been dying, they were born to die, but they’re falling and wilting and browning and I can’t condemn them to their fate. Maybe if I ignore them the green will return and gravity will cease.

Or maybe, I’ll press them into my books and knit their colours into a scarf and wear them out around town. Not that Egham really counts as a ‘town’.

I didn’t have a vase for them, so I filled up a measuring jug and stuck them in there. I was too embarrassed of her love to cut the stems or saturate the water with ‘flower food’ and now I’ve cut their lifetimes short.

My flatmates assumed they were from him and I laughed. They’ve never been a daughter to a mother.

If My Dating App Algorithm Could Talk

by Ellie Pritchard

Greetings! I am your friendly Dating App Algorithm. I am here to help you find love.

Hey, look at this guy holding a fish. Isn’t he cool? Oh, he’s not what you wanted? Try this one instead!

“I’ll fall for you if…you push me over.” Hey, isn’t he clever, isn’t he funny and quirky and hilarious? No? Next. This is so much fun!

“Hey”. Okay, even I know this isn’t a great start.

What do you mean you can’t tell which one you’re supposed to be looking at in this lovely group photo? He’s cool, he’s sociable, he’s…the least good-looking one. Fair enough.

Okay, this one’s cute. It’s a match! Now we wait…isn’t this fun?

Let’s have a look at the comments on your photos:

“Hi sexy”

“Wow”

“You look delicious”

Don’t you feel like a person anymore?

Okay, next. How do you feel about this gym selfie?

Or how about this shirtless bathroom selfie while he holds his crotch? No, no, no, no - isn’t this what you wanted? I am trying my best.

“Hey baby girl, let me come over later and I’ll show you a good time.” You’re flattered. You’re vibing. You’re absolutely considering it. I’m giving you no other options.

…You’re having fun, right?

Hand in Hand

by Jocelyn Howarth

‘My father was a wonderful man. He was smart, funny, kind. Everything I could ever ask for. He never lied to me, upset me, or tried to control me. When I decided to study law at university, he paid for my loans out of his own pocket so I would not have to be in debt. I would not be the person I am today if not for his love, generosity, wittiness, and advice.’

Standing before the friends, family, and colleagues of her dead father, Annette marvelled at her ability to deceive so smoothly. Her father had taught her. For so many years, he had scolded her and criticised her so keenly that she had perfected the art of deceit. That was why it had been so easy to write this eulogy; each word was simply the opposite of the truth.

‘He treated everyone he met with the utmost respect, and I know that every person in this room was made to feel like his equal, regardless of their relationship with him.’ Her gaze met Olivia’s, sat on the front pew, whose haunted eyes were a stark contrast to the rest of her thirty-year-old beauty; painted lips as fresh as a rose bud, ivory skin flawless, and hair styled without a single flyaway. Annette had helped her cover up the faint remainders of bruises on her wrists with concealer that morning. We’ve made it this far, she had said in a wavering voice, I won’t give us away now. Annette had cupped her face and smiled. Olivia had always felt more like a sister than a step-mother, and the unmistakable relief on her face was pleasing.

‘After my mother died, he raised me single-handedly, while balancing a business all by himself. He did an incredible job, and I was so happy when he found a new love in Olivia, his assistant at the time.’ Olivia’s mouth twitched as Annette continued. ‘She gave him new life and became the best step-mother I could have hoped for. Olivia, you’ve stuck with me through thick and thin, and you made my father’s final ten years the happiest ones possible.’

This was, in fact, true. Annette’s father had loved Olivia: he had told her repeatedly, usually after painting her porcelain skin with blooms of black and blue. Annette had heard this happen more than once. Her father never found out she knew about the beatings, not until the last time Annette saw him before his death.

She was satisfied to remember that he had seemed very, very guilty.

‘Between Olivia and I, my father’s life was filled with love. But the one person who kept him sane amidst the chaos of Murray Insurance Claims was Benjamin Talbot. For many years he has been the Director of my father’s company, his rock in every crisis, and will rightly be inheriting half of the company, working side by side with Olivia to continue my family’s proud legacy.’ Benjamin had been in love with Olivia since the moment he first laid eyes on her, but he had waited too long and had missed his chance. So, when Annette had approached him with her proposition, he had jumped at the opportunity, driven by a love that had lasted all of a decade. He would be Olivia’s shoulder to cry on in this difficult time, and it was so inevitable, so perfect that the two would fall in love.

Some would argue it was too perfect.

Annette took her seat next to Olivia, having managed to draw a tear from the eye of every person in the room. She took her hand and squeezed it; not for comfort, but for victory. Benjamin patted Annette’s shoulder comfortingly, and she turned round to see him wink at her. She suppressed a smile as she faced the front, where the vicar had stood to read a few prayers.

The picture of her father, set and framed before the sleek wooden coffin adorned with flowers, was an old one. Roger Murray had lost his good looks at the fresh age of twenty-five, and so Annette had picked a photo from his wedding, cropping out her mother. She hated to think about who her father had become after her mother’s death: the violent, angry, dangerous creature, who cursed her for living when her mother could not.

Annette had never told anyone what he said. Too scared of retribution, just like Olivia had been, she had remained quiet, waiting for the day she could escape forever. Though she had not done it intentionally, Annette was glad of her own complacency. Because now no one would ever suspect that a girl who loved her father so much would be the cause of his death.

Pills would have been quicker, simpler, but over the years, as the plan had formed in her head and the fury had risen – reaching a breaking point when Olivia had arrived at her flat with a broken nose –Annette had decided she wanted to punish him the way he had punished her. Olivia still had access to his personal calendar, and on the day of his death she and Annette had been out for a walk in the countryside: they had pictures to prove it. Benjamin sorted the will, forging the dates without arousing suspicion and ensuring Annette would inherit all her father’s properties and that he and Olivia would become co-owners of the company.

And so, suicide note prepared and alibi in place, Annette had ventured to her father’s office, locked the door behind her with sterile gloves covering her hands, and given her father one last smile. She had begun to talk, cruel whispers of her hatred for him, confusing him. The confusion had quickly turned to terror when she slipped his own razor from her pocket and lunged, slitting his left wrist. Blood had spilled onto the mahogany desk, splattering legal documents, dripping onto the well-kept carpet and blending with its crimson dye. The blade had been placed in his loose right fist. Annette had kept whispering her fury, not pausing long enough to draw breath, until all life had drained from those horrified eyes.

‘… and may his soul rest in heaven, Amen.’

‘Amen.’ The rest of the church echoed, grave and low.

Slowly, the guests trickled out, murmuring their condolences to the remainder of the Murrays before leaving in search of sandwiches. Annette stood, as did Olivia, and Benjamin remained close behind them as they headed out of the church. Before they passed through the great arched doors, Olivia paused. Stared at the sunny graveyard beyond. The summer light broke through the trees and Annette felt the warmth wash over her, a welcome change to the chilly church.

‘You’re sure?’ Olivia said in a quiet voice: she didn’t have to look at her for Annette to know the question was for her.

She squeezed Olivia’s hand again, smiling softly. ‘I’m sure.’

Olivia blew out a breath, and together, hand in hand, they stepped out into the warmth of the day.

Why is she still single?

by Ellie Pritchard

Why is she still single? She’s 22. She’s 35. She’s 47. She’s 60. She’s too young for it. She’s too old for it.

Why is she still single? She’s so pretty. She’s too fussy.

Why is she still single? She’s not trying hard enough. She’s trying too hard. Why is she still single? She’s too independent. She needs to love herself first.

Why is she still single? Her standards must be too high. (Excuse you, she’s impressed by the bare minimum. She doesn’t know any better).

Why is she still single? Has she tried dating apps? She should try to meet someone organically.

Why is she still single? She’s a prude. She’s a slut. Why is she still single? Is there something wrong with her?

Why is she still single? Is it her fault?

Why is she still single? Why is she still single?

The girl is so sick of being asked why she is still single.

Don’t Let Them Win

by Chloe Hayler

Years we spent staring at the screen, apart but united by our hearts that pounded. A symphony of fear, grief and pain resounded every time we heard thousands more had gone.

Keep shaking hands he told us. We’ll pay your wages don’t worry. Just stay at home and obey the rules, though we’ll break them and won’t be sorry.

The third woman failed to heal the shattered faith across the country. No stable truss held up her promises or her hollow words. Defeat after defeat left her no choice but to surrender. My question is: when will they stop writing it was due to her gender?

Debt suffocates us now like the inhalation of toxic fumes. No fabric mask can protect us from this crisis of their mistake. Instead, those at the bottom wonder heating or eating, what will I forsake? While the ones at the top refuse to act upon the change only they can make.

He hears an orchestra of screams from every profession, attempting to relieve themselves from this oppression. Yet, his response is to prohibit freedom of expression and continue ploughing into a recession.

This is my plea to every soul suffering. Don’t remain silent and let them be controlling. Call out their hypocrisy and their lying, because our bold defiance is revolutionising.

What Goes Through My Mind When I’m Walking Home

by Ellie Pritchard

It is gone midnight, and I am leaving the library. Essay done. God, I’m tired. Time to go home. Pack your stuff away, quietly now. Some poor guy is still typing in the corner. Do not disturb.

Drop off the books you borrowed for the essay. I still don’t get how they know it’s my books that’ve been returned without scanning my card. A mystery to the technologically illiterate. Cold outside. I can see my breath. Founders looks pretty. If I hurry, maybe I can make the back gate. Don’t slip on the stairs. Treacherous things. Campus cat!

People queue for Meds. Those three don’t even have coats, God, they must be like icicles. I sound like my mum. How soon will I turn into her?

Back gate is…closed. Try scanning your card. Take off your gloves to get into your wallet. Icy fingers, instantly. Key card doesn’t open the gate. Try again. Fuck.

Back up the hill. Past the back of the library. Down towards the SU. Campus is eerie at night when you aren’t bathed in the lights of Founders. Everything is quiet.

Past the car park. Someone has left their lights on. Or they’re loitering in their car. For their sake I hope it’s the latter. For mine, the former.

Squeeze myself and my bag of books through the gate. The road is as quiet as it ever gets. Everyone drives so fast down the hill. God, I am already my mother.

Cut through the quiet roads or carry on down the hill? No, I’ll gorge on M&S snacks if I go that way. It’s quicker through the back roads.

Down the hill. Fuck it’s steep. How do I forget how steep it is every day?

I wish the streetlights were lit. I wish the back gate were open.

That car is driving slowly. Why are they indicating? Why are they pulling over? Tighten your hand around the sharp keys in your pocket. They are going to stop right next to me. The cold air is tight in my chest. The keys bite into my skin. Ready. The car stops. I practically run the rest of the way home.

My hands shake so hard I struggle to fit my key into the lock. It probably would’ve been fine. I don’t think I needed to run. But, God, there are so many stories. I would like to walk home at night.

Be Bold

by Grix

A reason to still read books is that they’ve all got the price wrong in a world reduced to exchange-value. Reading Adorno costs £11.50, that is a few pence per aphorism. For that price you can understand your condition. For that price you can go back to the store and buy half a book of recipes or a fluorescent bookmark. Cortazar feared that his watch would own him, and it sure did. In this world everything has a price, and that price is no longer distinguished from the transcendental value of the objects and subjects we attribute that price to. How could it be distinguished when your number determines your social status, the quality of your food, the clothes you wear, the places you can see, the disciplines you practice? You have a number, your favourite book has a number, and the values you hold so true that you believe you would die for them, also have a number, a pretty low one indeed, for they have been devalued.

I am not here bringing any news to anyone, nor am I making an apology for robbery. I am just asking. What is your price?

How much for you to give away your house if you are so lucky as to have a house, and your family if you have one? You might say nothing, but we have all become great liars. Politicians offend us only when they do not lie well. How much for never having read and never again reading your favourite book? How much for you to turn off the sun, and regress to each memory to misrepresent it?

Come on, you’ve already paid less for a book than you pay for public transport. Come on, be bold, be one more.

Poetry Society

Royal Holloway’s Poetry Society aims to promote the culture of poetry within the university, for both spoken word and poets who work on the page, of any department or skill level. Come along to one of our events or workshops! The poems below were submitted by members of the society. More information on Instagram: @rhpoetsoc, or contact us at poetry@royalholloway.su

by Varya

a day will come   when sun itself will take you for a walk… you will  shake hands with motorcycle mirrors, hug trees, kiss every stray dog on their fluffy forehead… relaxing in the currents of the Rothschild boulevard you’ll start to feel the rhythm of The Sea  the sea  the sea the sea... a strong and all embracing body of water  that set you free

What Is a Number If It Can’t Buy You?

by Grix

In this culture industry, one would expect to have one’s feelings manufactured, and be able to vomit them out at the most critical circumstances.

In this orgy of slaughterhouses and dollar bills, one would expect to have at all times either a knife or a necklace for best friend.

In this plantation of bourgeois morality one would expect People to be offended at something more than bad liars.

In this eschatology of treeless deserts equally divided between golf and concentration camps, one would expect us to have the courage to lose tact, to be ungrateful, to spit upwards and laugh, covered in our own saliva.