2010-04-01 outlook: columbus

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outlook april 2010 • vol 14 issue11

inside: End All Be All Winners LGBT Caucus Director Collin burton FAQs on Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Lt. Everett Earl Morro Paige Passion pin-up agenda Freemasons interview fashion forward trippin’ out to Asheville astro forecast & Local celebrity Julie

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Where’s Mrs Butterworth?

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Super Friends, Sweater Vests, Statehouse Lesbians, and a Splash of Vermouth Hello, outlookians, I know, you’re used to seeing Chris Hayes writing this introductory column, but you’re stuck with me this month. You’ll notice the magazine is getting bigger – more content, more ads. That means two things.

One, it means that hiring Chad Frye and Mary Malone was the smartest thing I ever did. This set of Wonder Twins is bringing in more sponsors, more supporters, and more GLBT and allied businesses. It’s fun to watch Chad-Zan yell, “Form of a gigantic chocolate malt,” and hear Mary-Jayna reply, “Shape of … well, someone who’s in shape!” Our intern, Stephanie-Gleek, just rolls her eyes and generates more contacts for them.

Two, it means that the above-mentioned Mr Hayes is up to his corn-loving fauxhawk in extra pages that he fills with top notch columnists, original and exclusive content, and pretty pictures. So on production week, he and his team are often here for literally 36 hours at a stretch. He and I leave each other little notes – his by email, mine on Hello Kitty notepaper. It’s so cute, this little thing called outlook. Working away in our subterranean lair to bring you great content and world-class coverage.

So grab a latte. Read this issue. Share it with your friends. Use it to write your Members of Congress demanding repeal of DADT. [Note: Democrats Rep. Mary Jo Kilroy and Sen. Sherrod Brown are co-sponsors of the repeal legislation. Republican Reps. Pat Tiberi and Steve Austria support leaving the ban in place. Democrat Reps. in other parts of the state (Kaptur, Space, Driehaus) aren’t solidly in the repeal column and could use some encouragement. Republican Sen. George Voinivich is undeclared but I think he can be swayed to vote for repeal.]

In short, do what outlook readers do every month. Treat the world like a martini – shake it vigorously, then drink it up.

Michael Daniels Co Publisher

But, alas, you’re stuck with me writing the opening, as Chris needs his 3-hour nap. Read on.

Speaking of original and exclusive content, our interview last month with Ohio State head football coach Jim Tressel went viral within 24 hours of us posting it to www.outlookcolubus.com. Picked up first by outsports.com and then spreading across the blogosphere, a week later we found ourselves on the front pages of hundreds of websites including Yahoo!, Sports Illustrated, CBS Sports, NBC Sports, ABC Sports, ESPN, and The Advocate. I received a personal note from Dr Gee – he’s always the cherry on my sundae – and notes from friends as far away as South Africa and Germany who’d seen the article.

In this issue we cover Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell from many angles – mostly personal, all insightful. We love you, Aunt Dave! Our columnists challenge you to think. We announce the much-anticipated and totallyirreverent End All Be All award winners. And in keeping with our ‘everything is political’ commitment, we bring you the smart and stylish Collin Burton, newly appointed as the Ohio Democratic Party’s LGBT Caucus Director. As I sat to write this and we were sending the first pages to the presses, my email bell rang and a note from Collin arrived – perfect timing. He writes, in part: The Ohio Democratic Party’s Executive Committee [has] approved a resolution to endorse Nickie Antonio as the Democratic candidate for OH House district 13 (Lakewood). This endorsement is a MAJOR step in helping Nickie win her May primary. That’s right – she is currently running against Democrat Tom Bullock (who did not receive ODP’s endorsement). The best part: former State Senator Dan Brady dropped out of the race, leaving only Antonio and Bullock! That means: When Antonio wins the May primary, she will be in an all-out sprint to becoming Ohio’s first openly LGBT statewide elected official!

Nice job, Collin (cburton@ohiodems.org)! Thank you ODP and Chairman Chris Redfern (credfern@ohiodems.org)! Congrats Nickie (www.nickieantonio.com)! Write them all with your support, and give Nickie some money – we need one of our own in the Ohio House. outlook columbus is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. the first day of each month throughout Ohio. outlook columbus is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than 5 copies of any issue outlook columbus with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted.

The views expressed in outlook columbus are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management.

outlookcolumbus.com

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you are here

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open kimono

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creative class

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snapshot

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small pond

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deep inside + 23 frames

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hey!

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earthopolis

54 interview: free masons

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q-munity

26 insight out

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general gayety

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citizen crain

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common life

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truth wins out

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complete the circuit

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interview: owen pallett

from queer to eternity new queer on the block calendar + about town

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food drama!

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fashion forward

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trippin’ out

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feature: D A D T

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savage love

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feature: end all be all

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local celeb + astro forcast

outlook columbus does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented.

Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2010 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

The above graphic is actually an old towel ad for Cannon titled “Army Day - Crocodiles Keep Out!” Lots of butts have been cropped out. Sorry.

april 2010

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#) GAY HOCKEY MARCH 13TH • 2010

GAY HOCKEY MARCH 13TH • 2010

GAY HOCKEY MARCH 13TH • 2010

Chicks with Sticks

Future Zamboni Drivers of America.

Uwe’s plunging neckline may just get him pucked!

“Sir, I believe you’re cupping my breast”

GAY HOCKEY MARCH 13TH • 2010

ST. PATRICKS DAY MARCH 17TH • 2010

ST. PATRICKS DAY MARCH 17TH • 2010

ST. PATRICKS DAY MARCH 17TH • 2010

Craig Little never misses a chance for full contact

The Irish Pirate and his “mateys”

Magic Hat #69!

Irish Liver, Hawaiian Shirt

ST. PATRICKS DAY MARCH 17TH • 2010

ST. PATRICKS DAY MARCH 17TH • 2010

WINTER PARTY MARCH 2010

WINTER PARTY MARCH 2010

Danny boy, the pints, the pints are calling

It’s sad when your chinhiding tactics stop working

“You better creepy clown grin, Carson Kresley”

“I’ll give you a color splash, David Bromstad!”

WINTER PARTY MARCH 2010

WINTER PARTY MARCH 2010

WINTER PARTY MARCH 2010

WINTER PARTY MARCH 2010

Bueller? Bueller?

It’s Murder on the Dance Floor

Columbus at Large (pun included)

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april 2010

Sugar Free with All the ‘Bling’ Flying Pig

The Flying Pig above is by local artist Rebecca Backus and is part of The Art of the Can art exhibit by Red Bull feature in South Beach.

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Basic Instinct anyone?

april 2010

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Call For A Community Response

community. We must stand by the words of the late lesbian, warrior poet, Audre Lorde “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.”

two damaged kidneys. I have also seen scores of acts of police brutality.

Now, in an effort to cover up horrific civil liberties violations, the FBI is putting brain implants into As we move forward to strengthen and grow this people to declare them as insane, so that they can get away with major misdeeds such as that done local and statewide community, it is imperative that all voices are acknowledged and included. Si- in Portland and get away with it. Before you question this as some conspiracy theory, do some relence and being silenced-whether or not intensearch. You will find that this technology has been tional-must no longer be tolerated!

Below is a response from members of Columbus’ It is in this spirit of unity that we make a call for around for decades, and has vastly advanced in LGBTQ community of color and our allies: recent years, with nanotechnology and brain comawareness, support, acknowledgement, and inclusion of all members and leadership within the puter interfaces.

We, the undersigned have come together in unity LGBTQ community. to express our displeasure and frustration at the Because technology is moving faster than general overall lack of inclusion and seemingly blatant awareness, government officials have gotten In Solidarity, failure to acknowledge our presence and leaderaway with this horrific torture. But it is well docuship within Columbus’ LBGTQ Community. mented at www.chadkister.com with x-rays and Members and Allies of New Leaf Columbus A social network for Columbus‟ LGBT communi- witnesses.

Mr. Wall‟s article shares interviews with members ties of color and our allies of the local LGBTQ community. The interviewees We need to repeal the Patriot Act, and investigate http://newleafcolumbus.ning.com were mostly males, and absolutely white. Perhaps abuses of it, before everyone ends up with a brain most insulting is the slideshow at the end of the Stop the Brain Computers implant and we are all marched to war. article with the header Columbus’ Diverse Queer Community. It feels safe to say that when the maSincerely, jority of people see the word diverse, they often ex- To the editor, pect to see a kaleidoscope experience of colors.

Far too many Americans are oblivious to the rising Chad Kister Nelsonville, OH Kudos to Mr. Wall for shaping a lens into our trans tide of civil liberties violations in America. The reason is that much of it is being done under the Pacommunity, highlighting important political and An Open Letter To Govcommunity issues, and sharing the history of the triot Act, and is hidden from view by the general public. ernor Strickland And Stonewall Rebellion. However, what Mr. Wall failed to realize was an important and necessary opporThe Members Of The tunity to craft an inclusive and educational con- What we do know about those who are supposed 128th General Assembly to be the role models of our country is quite trouversation. As such, we ask the following questions: Were any persons of color interviewed bling. FBI agents broke into the home of a PortDear Governor Strickland and Members of the for the article? Were they asked? Did the featured land, Oregon attorney and searched it, using the 128th General Assembly, sneak and peak provision of the Patriot Act. They interviewees even mention persons of color when arrested him and accused him of being a part of describing the community? the Madrid train bombings. The FBI later realized Last summer NAMI Ohio testified before the General Assembly’s respective finance committees in they had made a mistake in the DNA, and reAs the number of LGBTQ youth of color utilizing opposition to the Governor’s proposed additional leased him.

He won $2 million in a subsequent local supportive services continues to grow, it is massive cuts to the community mental health lawsuit. imperative that they begin to see, learn and know system. In our remarks, we said, “make no misabout people in their community that look like take, people will die.” The Ohio General Assembly Horrific invasions of privacy, poisonings and propthem. It is important that their existence is valiignored our plea, and those of many other advoerty damage are caused using the sneak and dated and their potential as future leaders is cacy groups, and passed a budget bill that set the peak and other provisions of the Patriot Act. FBI noted as fully possible. LGBTQ youth of color need stage for a string of tragedies in our state. It is officials have admitted creating computer viruses to know that there is absolutely a space for them ever so true that we reap what we sow. Governor, in an effort to get passwords. at the table. Failure to acknowledge the reality of ladies and gentleman of the legislature, it is our our existence further oppresses and alienates the very sad duty to report to you just a few examples Last year, FBI agents positioned cameras above community at large. where teenage girls were trying on prom dresses of the high cost Ohioans have paid over just the past six months for our failure to adequately fund Indeed the responsibility of inclusion is a partner- for a fundraiser for Hospice International. Two community mental health services. These deaths agents spied on the girls as they changed clothes. ship of sort; allied leaders must begin to include were preventable and occurred because these Charles Hommema and Gary Sutton were arrested LGBTQ people of color in their conversations and people slipped through the cracks of our crumfor criminal invasion of privacy. make the invite to meetings and community disbling public mental health system. cussions. Likewise, we as LBGTQ people of color • Whitehall: Last week, Richard A. Napper, age Hundreds of demonstrators are beaten at demonneed to strengthen our visibility. The time is now 53, was fatally shot by a police officer. His sister strations every year, if not thousands.

I know befor us to no longer linger in the shadows. We can said he had struggled for years and had been frecause I have been a victim, having been beaten no longer allow others to define who we are as a nearly to death in DC, with three broken ribs and quently hospitalized. Police had been called to the On March 15, 2010, columnist Patrick Wall explores Columbus‟ queer scene in his Examiner.com article entitled “I’m out. Now what?: Searching for a community among Columbus’s queers.

OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Christopher Hayes HEADQUARTERS Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, Bsmt Ste ii Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525 phone 614.261.8200 fax www.outlookmedia.com

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ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Michael Daniels: mdaniels@outlookmedia.com

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CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jennifer Vanasco, Chris Crain, Wayne Besen, Leslie Robinson, Joshua Miller, Ryan Harris, Regina Sewell, William Ashley, Gregg Shapiro, Romeo San Vicente, Jack Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Dan Savage, Aaron Levinthal, Mette Bach, Elliot Fishman, Mickey Weems, Jason Tanner, Adam Lippe, Mikey Rox, Michael Daniels, Chris Hayes

This is your brain on outlook. Any questions?

residence at least twice in recent months on reports that Richard was threatening suicide.

• Columbus: This month, Ryan Clayton, age 26, died in his home. Ryan’s mother had made several previous calls to the police in the past year, reporting that her son was schizophrenic and off his medication. She was concerned he might hurt her, himself or others. She sometimes mentioned he had guns.

• Cleveland: Last month, Raymond Ice, 48, killed shelter manager Rita Ciofani, 59. After being asked to leave a shelter for veterans where he has been staying since May, Raymond attacked Rita. Police were called and Raymond was shot by one of the responding officers. The shelter discharges residents if they need additional medical care or treatment for substance abuse or mental illness.

• Lancaster: In December 2009, Chester Henson, 36, took his life at the Fairfield County Jail.

Chester took his own life by hanging himself with bed sheets attached to the upper bunk of a bed in his cell. The Sheriff stated that Chester, who had undergone psychiatric evaluations as part of his criminal case, previously had been on suicide watch but was removed after he was cleared by mental health workers.

• Toledo: In December 2009, Linda Hicks, 62, was shot and killed by a police officer responding to a call from the Adult Care Facility where Linda lived. Donald Perryman, a local pastor said, “we are also concerned ... about what may be a growing culture of callousness when it comes to the most vulnerable in society, including the mentally disabled.”

• Beavercreek: In October 2009, Julie Neeley was shot and killed by her son Daniel Neeley, 22.

His sister was left with serious injuries. “Daniel is a ‘paranoid schizophrenic,’” his sister told authorities minutes after the shooting. In fact, after a run-in with the police back in August, his father told officers his son “has mental health issues and was not taking his prescribed medicine.”

These deaths received considerable media attention. But there have been others who have died without such attention and thousands more who are suffering deeply. The 30% cut to community mental health services and the closing of two state hospitals have devastated Ohio families and is costing the state money instead of saving it.

How many more deaths, how much more needless suffering and how much more inefficiency will it take to convince you that current state funding policies are cruel and counter-productive? Please help Ohio families!

Sincerely, Jim Mauro Executive Director, NAMI Ohio

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Brian Rodriguez, Tony Belleau, Robert Trautman, Dominic Presutto, Ryan Plfuger INTERNS Dominic Presutto, Phillecia Cochran, Stephanie Booth, Mark Kotowski

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Chad Frye has never looked better with a microphone.

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The U.S. Census does not request your social security number so do not divulge this information to anyone claiming to be a U.S. Census representative.

outlookcolumbus.com

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Welcome Omar

Why I Support the United Way

There is a new face on the Stonewall Columbus team. Please welcome new staff member, Omar Faruk! Omar is studying Computer and Information Science at The Ohio State University. Prior to moving to Columbus in summer of 2008, he resided in New York City where he founded a youth volunteering organization and a technology firm geared towards services for small nonprofit organizations. In 2007, Omar was the youngest recipient of the “Ernst & Young/NFTE Youth Entrepreneur of the Year.” He currently serves on the Board of Directors of The Legacy Fund of the Columbus Foundation. Omar will be an integral part of the Stonewall Columbus team helping to plan our exciting Pride celebration, cultivating new members and organizing panel discussions that focus on issues facing the youth in our community.

by Tom Grote

The LGBT Community Center of Greater Cleveland Selects New Executive Director Mr. Jan Cline has been hired as the new Executive Director of the LGBT Center in Cleveland.

Mr.Cline is a Northeast Ohio native and a graduate of Kent State University. He has more than 15 years of experience in nonprofit fundraising and management, including four years previously at the LGBT Center (19982002). His breadth of experience in a variety of community-based concerns includes social justice, LGBT issues, AIDS education, at-risk youth, mental health advocacy, fair housing regulation, and hunger relief. A resident of the Detroit Shoreway neighborhood, Jan returned to Cleveland in 2008 and was most recently Director of Development for the Gordon Square Arts District, promoting the arts and economic development.

“This is my dream job,” stated Cline. “I look forward to stepping into some really big shoes, continuing the Center’s tradition of working to improve the region for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals and families. It’s not by luck that Cleveland has had the Center serving our community since 1975 - a great deal of work, sacrifice and coalition building is in its history.”

The LGBT Center’s previous director, Sue Doerfer, left in December to become the Executive Director of Equality Ohio. Mr. Cline began full time at the Center on March 29.

outlookcolumbus.com

When you walk through the front door of the United Way’s downtown offices, one of the first things you’ll see is a two-story banner of a gay couple with their arms around each other. Really, I am not kidding. Every time I see it, I know what they mean when they say “Live United!” I certainly feel at home at the United Way. It’s one of the reasons I’ve decided to put so much energy into the United Way: because I know the United Way supports what I support. Between serving on the Board of Trustees, co-chairing the Diversity and Inclusion Committee, and now cochairing our new LGBT giving group, PRIDE Council, I’ve invested a lot.

The PRIDE Council had its kickoff this past January. It was inspiring to see so many folks from the LGBT community who feel the same way I do about the United Way. It was also exciting to learn that the United Way of Central Ohio was attracting attention across America for being the first United Way to have an LGBT giving group.

Brian Gallagher, United Way Worldwide president and CEO, has taken notice and is promoting the council throughout the United Way system.

It’s not all that surprising that it happened here first. Columbus is a leader in diversity. Recent estimates put Franklin County’s LGBT population near 70,000. That’s more than any other county in Ohio, both in number and as a percentage of total population. With PRIDE Council, the United Way of Central Ohio has stepped up its efforts to represent and serve the entire community. It is by no means the first or only step.

The United Way of Central Ohio’s Statement of Values has said, since 1986, that no one should be denied access to services based on sexual orientation. As a condition of funding, member agency programming must formally support those values. The United Way does not support any programming that does not uphold these values, including those administered by the Boy Scouts. Among the agencies that the United Way has pledged to fund for the next three years is Kaleidoscope Youth Center, the region’s only safe haven specifically for LGBTQ youth. The United Way was also an early supporter of the Columbus AIDS Task Force and has awarded more than $4.5 million to CATF since 1990. In 1996, the United Way of Central Ohio adopted partner benefits for its own LGBT staff. In 2007, it partnered with Columbus AIDS Task Force and Stonewall Columbus to launch the first ever LGBT community census in central Ohio. And in 2008, it launched a leadership-training program, Pride Leadership,

that has helped prepare many LGBT community members to serve on local non-profit boards, helping to enlighten more people and more organizations by gaining more seats at more tables.

The United Way already has many LGBT donors.

The PRIDE Council brings us together and allows us to aggregate existing LGBT donations (similar to what our community has done with political donations), in order to become more visible, more influential and to be acknowledged for our generosity within the broader community. Pride Council also creates an opportunity for those currently giving to the United Way to self-identify and network with others, like themselves, including many involved with existing LGBT organizations. Networking increases the pie, bringing in new advocates and donors, and increases opportunities for engagement and involvement. And, of course, Pride Council raises more money for those receiving services from the United Way, which includes the neediest in our entire community, including LGBT individuals and families. The United Way is the best positioned organization in central Ohio to help coordinate dollars amongst multiple agencies as well as other funders and corporations in order to significantly impact community results, such as improving the high school graduation rate, increasing access to health care, decreasing abandoned housing and crime rates and ensuring emergency assistance is available when it is needed. Joining PRIDE Council requires a $1,000 household contribution to the United Way. However, later this year, the Council is also launching PRIDE Gives, a group for LGBT supporters of the United Way that has no minimum giving requirement.

I’m an active supporter of many LGBT non-profits, and I will continue to give directly to those organizations. However, I also give my time and money to the United Way because it supports programs that make our whole community better.

Everyone in central Ohio, both gay and straight, should have the opportunity to get a good education, earn a good income, lead a healthy life, and live in a safe neighborhood.

If you would like to get involved with the United Way, go to liveunitedcentralohio.org to learn more. You can also call Stephanie Campolo, our Pride Council coordinator, at 614.241.3080 (or email her at Stephanie.campolo@uwcentralohio.org).

CGMC Forte Award to Jody & Jeffrey Scheiman at Fundraiser The Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus (CGMC) will present its second Forte Award to local activists, philanthropists, and volunteers, Jody and Jeffrey

Scheiman, at its annual fundraiser, Forte, on April 23, 2010. The Forte Award was designed to recognize individuals who dedicate their lives, personally and professionally, to both the arts and social justice and the Scheimans embody this model.

“We are tremendously pleased to present this award to the Scheimans. Having transformed the Columbus AIDS Task Force’s Art for Life fundraiser to a nationally recognized event over the last 20 years, we in the Chorus are honored to present this award to them, ” said Matthew Arnold, CGMC executive director.

CGMC is a unique organization that dedicates itself to both artistic excellence and social awareness. Performances are of the highest musical caliber and CGMC’s mission is to bridge gaps and break down barriers, as well as to open the minds and hearts of those not familiar with individuals in the gay community.

After learning that they will receive this award, Jody Scheiman said, “Jeff and I are so honored to receive this award. The Gay Men’s Chorus is a phenomenal organization, one of many in this community who bring us all together. Our focus is inclusiveness and this means so much to us to receive this honor.”

This year marks CGMC’s fourth annual Forte fundraiser. CGMC will invite guests to participate in a three-course meal, performance by Vox, live band provided by ensemble from the Jazz Arts Group, dancing, photos, live and silent auctions, etc. The event will take place at the Westin Hotel in downtown Columbus. All proceeds will benefit CGMC and its mission of Voices Raised, Lives Changed.

Forte: A Lovely Evening is Friday, April 23 from 6:30p-11p @ The Westin (310 South High St). Tickets are $150, available at www.cgmc.com and 614.228.CGMC. Also avail: $2,000 - Gold Patron Sponsorship; $500 - Silver Patron Sponsorship; $50 Party Crashers (please call for details).

April 8 Queer Seder Open to All From Slavery to Freedom: A Jewish Queers and Allies Dinner and Discussion /The Rainbow Seder*: A Jewish celebratory ritual feast is Thursday, April 8 from 6:30p-8p @ Hillel (46 E 16th Ave). Come join us for an LGBTQA- themed Seder (Jewish Passover meal). It will include traditional rituals and symbols, as well as new ones to help us reflect on our history and what we can do to further experience freedom. Dinner is free of charge, but RSVP by April 7 is required. RSVP by email to hillel.osu.edu or by calling 614.294.4797. Vegetarian option available.

Want to see pictures from the Pride Council Launch or the Pride Leadership Reception, check out outlook’s facebook page.

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FIGHTING FOR THE RIGHT TO PARTY

by Leslie Robinson The month of March has come to mean one thing to me: prom struggles.

Last year at exactly the same time I wrote about a lesbian in Indiana who sued her school district for the right to wear a tuxedo to her prom.

She was represented by the ACLU and Men’s Wearhouse.

Now a case in Mississippi is making national, even international news. We’re at a place in this country where LGBT teenagers are willing to fight for their rights, and they’re running smack up against adults who believe they have none.

Witness the events in Fulton, Miss., home to under 4,000 people. Constance McMillen, a senior at Itawamba Agricultural High School, wanted to take her girlfriend, another student, to the April 2 prom. She also wanted to wear a tuxedo.

She might as well have wanted Adam Lambert to perform at the prom. School officials said she and her girlfriend wouldn’t be allowed to arrive together and that they might

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be thrown out if other students felt uncomfortable. And ixnay on the tux.

After that chat, the school circulated a memo forbidding same-sex dates. McMillen turned to the ACLU. Considering how that organization supports Sapphic teens through their prom distress, I now consider ACLU an acronym for Against Causing Lesbians Unhappiness.

The ACLU of Mississippi sent the school district a letter demanding McMillen be allowed to bring whom she wished and wear what she wished, or else legal action might ensue.

In last year’s Indiana case, when the ACLU filed a lawsuit the school district reversed its policy requiring girls to wear dresses to the prom. Would muscle-flexing work similarly in Mississippi?

district won’t host a prom this year, the board said in a one-paragraph statement. “It is our hope that private citizens will organize an event for the juniors and seniors.”

I’d also like the school board members be required to serve the two girls punch, but I guess that’s beyond reach.

Private citizens who won’t be weighed down by questions of civil rights, and can merrily exclude anyone they want. Segregation for the 21st century.

While some in the area side with the school board, others differ. “There are some people on the board who think they are the last word,” said Diane Roberts, a Fulton hairstylist, to USA Today. “You can’t judge people like that. That’s between them and their good Lord.”

“A bunch of kids at school are really going to hate me for this, so in a way it’s really retaliation,” McMillen told The Clarion-Ledger.

The morning after the decision McMillen would’ve preferred gum surgery to going to school, but her father said she should face her classmates. “My daddy told me that I needed to show them that I’m still proud of who I am,” she told The Associated Press.

“The fact that this will help people later on, that’s what’s helping me to go on.”

Is the Pope from Biloxi?

The Itawamba County Board of Education cancelled the prom. Rather than relent, compromise or fight, these leaders took their prom and went home.

“Due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events” the school

She wound up leaving school early, owing to the tension. Someone said to her, “Thanks for ruining my senior year.”

A Steel Magnolia, bless her.

With newspaper coverage, television appearances and Facebook action, McMillen is in a whirlwind. “I didn’t want a bunch of media,” she said. “But it’s good because now other kids are going to know that they have rights, too.”

Which means stay tuned for next year’s prom rumpus.

Without rumpuses, Leslie Robinson would have no career. E-mail her at lesarobinson@gmail.com.

That day the ACLU filed suit against the school district, asking the prom be reinstated, and McMillen be allowed to bring a same-sex date and wear a tuxedo.

The touch, the feel of cotton... the fabric of your lesbians...

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Have you filled out your census yet?

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citizen crain A capital case for gay marriage In a historic confluence, marriage equality arrived simultaneously last month in the capitals of the U.S., Mexico and Argentina.

by Chris Crain Last month was one for the history books in the movement for gay civil rights worldwide. As of the first week of march, same-sex couples are marrying in the capitals of four of the five most populous countries in the Americas, and each city offers an important lesson about what works in making progress on the mother of all items on “the gay agenda.”

In Mexico City, Buenos Aires and, of course, Washington, D.C., gay couples are now registering or entering into civil marriage, accessing a fundamental right already enjoyed by same-sex couples in Ottawa and throughout Canada. The only country missing from the Americas’ Top 5 is Brazil, where a patchwork of common law and judicial rulings extend some legal recognition to gay relationships in the capital Brasilia, and across the country.

The U.S. capital of Washington, D.C., grabbed most of the headlines last week, as the conservative Chief Justice John Roberts refused a lastminute attempt to block a gay marriage law adopted by the duly elected representatives of the District of Columbia. So much for the argument that “activist judges” are imposing gay marriage on their citizens; in D.C., it was gay marriage opponents who appealed to unelected judges to thwart the will of the majority.

Primary credit for that mammoth electoral achievement goes to a grassroots effort by a group called D.C. for Marriage (dcformarriage.blogspot.com), who tired of the snail’s pace and incremental progress made over many years by long-time activists and pushed the envelope with local politicians who had given lip service to marriage equality but still ducked for cover whenever possible.

If you agree with that aggressive strategy, then take a moment to check out the national org Freedom to Marry, where Michael Crawford, one of D.C. for Marriage’s founders, is now heading up online organizing.

The other key player in the fight for marriage in our nation’s capital was David Catania, first elected as a gay Republican to a citywide seat on the D.C. Council and later quit his party when President Bush introduced a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage nationwide.

Allies are crucial to the fight, of course, but we have seen time and again that having one of our own at the table makes all the difference. The Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund (www.victoryfund.org) has taken the leadership role in electing out LGBT politicians to office, and has consistently maintained some of the highest non-profit ratings for putting donor dollars to use in actually accomplishing that mission.

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As important symbolically as gay marriage is in Washington, D.C, the real impact is dwarfed by the availability just two days later of marriage to same-sex couples among the 20 million-plus living in Mexico City, the most populous city in either North or South America.

As in D.C., marriage equality was achieved in Mexico’s Districto Federal by the locally elected legislature, which defied last-ditch conservative attempts to veto the new law in court. Despite dire threats about a national backlash, the center-left Democratic Revolution Party (PRD), which is a minority party at the federal level, pushed the gay marriage bill through.

The same courage hasn’t been displayed of yet by the center-left party that in firm control of the federal government here in the land of the free and home of the brave. Despite Barack Obama’s pledge during the primaries that, unlike Hillary Clinton, he would support full and total repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act, a bill to do just that has languished for months in Congress.

Even Barney Frank, the powerful gay Democrat, is acting like he is a Democrat first and a gay man second, refusing even to co-sponsor the legislation for fear it would pressure Nancy Pelosi into actually expending some political capital on our behalf. After years of broken promises to push gay rights legislation through Congress, the Democratic Party at a minimum owes LGBT Americans the immediate repeal of the two anti-gay law signed by a Democrat, Bill Clinton: DOMA and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

Finally, and for only the second time, a gay couple in the beautiful Argentinian capital of Buenos Aires has tied the knot, after a deadlock in rulings by local judges was broken. Now that events in D.C. and Mexico City have put the lie to that old conservative saw about “activist judges” being the target of gay marriage opposition, rather than gay folks ourselves, it’s important to redouble our efforts here in the U.S. in the courtroom.

The most promising case is a lawsuit brought in San Francisco to challenge Proposition 8, which could lead to universal gay marriage rights throughout the country. The suit, brought by conservative legal kingpin Ted Olson and liberal David Boies, is itself a rogue effort associated with the newly founded American Foundation for Equal Rights (www.equalrightsfoundation.org).

Still, the good folks at Lambda Legal (www.lambdalegal.org) continue to achieve groundbreaking results that can’t be matched by any other national gay group, so forego the black tie dinners for once and get more equality bang for your buck.

Chris Crain is former editor of the Washington Blade and five other gay publications and now edits GayNewsWatch.com.

He can be reached via his blog at www.citizencrain.com or follow him on Twitter @citizenchris.

“I quite agree with with you the influences of current hip hop include in part Machiavelli and Lamb Chop, but I think we need to look deeper...”

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outlook’s dream is to have a Ferris Wheel at Pride. Tell Stonewall you feel the same way!

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You know who else is a good time? Robert Trautman. Call him on your digital phone.

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common life

Marriage is Coming

by Jennifer Vanasco Last week, I sat in a room in the presence of history.

At least that’s what it felt like.

Ted Olson and David Boies, the two lawyers who are arguing for equal marriage in the California Proposition 8 case, were in New York to talk about their experience.

There’s no decision in the Prop 8 case yet – there haven’t even been closing arguments. But Olson and Boies expect a decision by June.

And they expect it to be pro-gay marriage.

To anyone who followed the testimony while it was happening, this is no surprise. Olson, Boies and their witnesses made eloquent arguments for why gays and lesbians have the right to marry.

They recapped those arguments in a Q&A with warmth and power.

First off, they said, the Supreme Court has already said that marriage is a fundamental right. Not just in Loving v Virginia, the famous case that struck down bans on interracial marriage, but also in cases like one in Wisconsin, which had a law against people like domestic abusers marrying. Wisconsin had decided that if you get marriage wrong once, you can’t have it again.

The Supreme Court said no.

Missouri had a law that if you’re in prison for life, you can’t marry.

The Supreme Court said no.

Marriage is so central that even if you’re in prison for life, even if you’ve married seven times, even if you’ve abused a previous spouse, you have the right to marry.

That is how important it is. And therefore, discrimination against the right of gays and lesbians to marry, Olson said, is “wrong, destructive and serves no state purpose.”

Second, there is just no evidence to show that gay marriage hurts straight marriage. But there is plenty to prove that not being able to marry hurts not only gay and lesbian people, but also our children.

Even the pro-Prop 8 side admitted this. When Judge Vaugn Walker

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Where was she when they were auditioning people for Chicago?

asked one of their lawyers if gay marriage would hurt straight marriage, he said, “I don’t know.”

Sure, the other side keeps saying – over and over again – that it is in the state’s interest to “protect” marriage between a man and a woman because they are most likely to procreate and procreation is in the state’s interest.

But what Olson and Boies say to that is simply this: no state has ever had a fertility test before granting a marriage license. No state has ever asked a couple about their intention to procreate.

So how invested in procreation can the state be?

And finally – the argument from tradition is specious. It’s true, Olson and Boies say: allowing gays and lesbians to marry will change the definition of marriage. But allowing interracial marriage changed the definition of marriage, too.

As Boies said, quoting Justice Kennedy, “The fact that discrimination has gone on a long time doesn’t make it fine – it makes it worse.”

Watching Olson and Boies speak gave me shivers because they laid out a clear pathway to winning.

They said that just the fact that they made such a clear case, bringing all the evidence together for the first time, will move the country forward, because it tears down the other side’s position.

But even better, their arguments are arguments we can all use when explaining equal marriage to family and colleagues. They are not defensive. They are not overreaching.

They are right.

We will win the current Prop 8 trial.

And we may win the appellate trial.

But Olson and Boies’ confidence and solid reasoning made me think for the first time that we will also win the Supreme Court. And if we win California, we will have gone a long way toward winning equal marriage everywhere.

Marriage is coming. And those of us who were in that room last week were lucky enough to meet the men who may help make it happen.

The full Olson/Boies Q&A is available at 365gay.com. Jennifer Vanasco is an awardwinning, syndicated columnist. Email her at Jennifer.Vanasco@gmail.com; Follow her at Twitter.com/JenniferVanasco.

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Play Boggle with Michael Stinziano’s name and see how many words you can come up with. We got 69.

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Republicans Need To Rethink Rhetoric

by Wayne Besen photo by Tony Belleau In 1995, House Majority leader Dick Armey (RTex.) referred to Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass) as “Barney Fag.” He quickly apologized calling his verbiage a “slip of the tongue”. Fifteen years later, the obstreperous Tea Party movement that Armey is behind showed no such restraint, with members boldly calling Frank a “faggot” during the healthcare debate, while the crowd stood by and laughed. They also used the N-word to taunt civil rights hero, Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.), as he entered the Capitol to vote.

The very strategy of today’s conservative movement is an affront to this nation. They incite their most fervent and fanatic followers by questioning the legitimacy of America’s leaders and institutions. They engage in legislative obstruction. And, many of these zealots believe that God commands them to rule, while anyone else is a usurper of the natural political order.

Can the media please stop pretending that the Tea Party is an amalgam of small government conservatives and anxious Americans concerned about their families? What we just witnessed was not spontaneous, nor was it a genuine outpouring of anger towards Washington. It was privileged DC Republicans shilling for the insurance industry while posing as populists. To obscure their genuine goals, they mobilized racists and riff raff to throw tyrannical tantrums in an effort to intimidate lawmakers.

Republicans are also fanning the flames of regionalism and trying to balkanize this nation for political gain. When asked if passing the bill would help democrats politically, Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.) replied, “Someone at Harvard or in San Francisco may think that, but not the rest of the country.” This rhetoric mirror’s that of Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R-Minn.) who spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference last month and derided liberals for supposedly hanging out at “Chablis-drinking, Brie-eating parties in San Francisco.”

If you think I’m wrong, watch almost any interview with Tea Baggers on the healthcare bill.

They display a shocking lack of understanding about what they were actually protesting. Many condemn “socialized” medicine while not realizing that Medicare is a government program.

These “good folks” have consistently regurgitated stale and misleading GOP talking points about “death panels” that they heard on FOX News.

At the anti-healthcare rally, cantankerous protesters yelled, “kill the bill.” But, there is a true concern that the overheated rhetoric will lead to the death of real people. Republicans and Tea Baggers can only shout “fire” in a crowded theatre for so long before an unbalanced individual moves decisively to extinguish the alleged conflagration.

Sure, there are some Tea Baggers who don’t fit this unflattering description. But one would have to be intellectually dishonest to deny the role extremists are playing in this movement. It is also worth noting that those who are reportedly not fringe ideologues are nonetheless eerily comfortable protesting alongside the more fanatical goons.

The thuggish tactics - from the ugly August “town brawls” to the race-baiting rallies on Capitol Hill - were grotesque and anti-democratic. Many of these so-called “patriots” were not putting forth real arguments in the interest of America - but simply arguing loudly to bully opponents and drown out genuine debate.

It was disgusting to watch Republican members of Congress egg on this unruly behavior.

Several grandstanding politicians encouraged the mob from a second story balcony on the Capitol, as the empowered crowd yelled slogans through bullhorns such as, “Nancy Pelosi, you will burn in hell for this.” These grossly irresponsible lawmakers even encouraged anarchy by cheering a protester who was ejected from the House chamber for a disruptive outburst.

In my view, Republicans have crossed a dan-

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gerous line that threatens the fabric and cohesion of this nation. They are courting and catering to crazies and now call them a core constituency. The GOP leadership is consistently communicating in illogical, apocalyptic terms to reach “Values Voters” who are excitedly awaiting Armageddon.

It’s raw tea.

The GOP and the Tea Bag crowd need to stop polarizing America and dial back the rhetoric before it is too late.

As far as the politics of healthcare, the GOP will suffer. Obama proved he can be tough and get things done in Washington - and everybody loves a winner. In the end, the public will appreciate their new benefits and the GOP is now in the position of trying to deny health insurance to people with preexisting conditions. Good luck on that.

Finally, the gloom and doom scenarios painted by overwrought phonies, such as House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio), will not come to pass. This is no different than when social conservatives claimed that civil unions in Vermont and marriage equality in Massachusetts would destroy the world.

Obviously, this did not happen, the public saw legalizing LGBT relationships was no big deal and our opponents lost credibility. The same will happen with healthcare. The sooner the public sees the sky is not falling, the faster the polling numbers will plummet for Republicans who voted on wrong side of history.

For more: www.truthwinsout.org

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Faggotstan

by Mickey Weems

They encountered what appeared to be an entire country of men with former senator Larry “Wide Stance” Craig’s mindset: it’s only faggish if somebody else is doing it. Now, how about that backrub?

In current American slang, “Afghanistan” has been securely linked to “faggot.”

Just take a look at the Internet. There are multiple variations on the verbal faggotization of Afghanistan: Faggotstan. A Faggot Stan. Faggot Stan.

Faggot/Stan. Afaghistan. It is not uncommon to find them in US military (unofficially) and hip-hop (blatantly) vocabularies.

One reason for that is the pronunciation of “Afghanistan,” easily changed into a schoolyard taunt. Another reason has to do with Afghan custom.

Women are secluded from men and are discouraged from showing their bodies or even their faces in public, invisible as sexual beings until marriage. Men spend most of their lives in the company of other men, visible, independent, and active in the streets.

The poor (and Afghanistan has many poor) do what they must to survive.

Put these three situations together and you get Faggotstan because men find it infinitely easier to have sex with other men. In fact, homo-sex is preferable because women are seen as unclean and fit only for producing babies, a sentiment that is reinforced every time a woman dares show her beauty in public, only to be scolded, beaten, or disfigured.

A beautiful man is the only form of walking, talking human sexiness that is readily available to the public eye.

The men of Afghanistan do not mind being admired for their beauty, and readily show affection to each other.

Men sometimes wear eyeliner, often they hold hands, put their arms around each other, kiss, and dance together. Officially, they do these things without fear of recrimination because nobody is a faggot, Unofficially, men flirt, proposition each other, and rent poor teenage boy-men who make themselves available so they can bring something home to their destitute families. Or get a decent meal. Or a rifle. Or if they are lucky, a motorbike.

Such is the situation that American forces encountered when they arrived in Afghanistan after we were attacked on 9/11. Our soldiers reported being welcomed, then cruised, then asked straight out (so to speak) if they wanted to do the horizontal tango.

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have deadly consequences for the Afghan involved. When Afghan men fall in love, there are any number of ways they can discreetly carry on, and no doubt much goes unsaid about women who encounter each other in their sexually-segregated society. But Stroke My Beard with a US soldier? What will happen to the Afghan once that soldier is sent In addition, there are some interesting home? ways in which the extremes of Muslim Fundamentalism encourage homosex- War Brides ual behavior. The Afghan city of Kandahar, renowned as a center for Here is the real quandary: as Gays beMuslim religious devotion, has another come accepted in the US military, the reputation. Locals say that birds fly issue of “war brides” in the form of over Kandahar with one wing over men who fall in love with men and their assholes. women who fall in love with women must sooner or later be addressed.

As if to prove the point that misogyny Since we will be in Afghanistan for and homophobia so easily translate perhaps the next 10 years, we should into the homoerotic, the insistence be thinking about it now. that men grow beards also allows for a rather provocative form of affection On the one hand, our LGBTQ soldiers that, from the perspective of my filthy deserve the right to fall in love and mind, is something akin to masturba- protect those with whom they love. On tion. Afghan men will stroke each the other hand, if we talk about such other’s facial shrubbery as a sign of things openly, we could end up causintimacy, or as sign of flattery, or if in ing the death of those same loved need of a favor. ones if we rupture Afghan rules of the closet.

One wonders if some of the fanatic insistence on every man having a beard, It is important that our military starts a manly appendage hanging from the addressing this problem, and consider chin, is a bit of spicy perversion, that a mechanisms for a closeted means to dude with a full luxurious beard is ac- bring those Afghans who our soldiers tually a hot stud flagrantly flaunting love safely to our shores. Perhaps we his visibly accessible and eminently could authorize a category of “close strokable face-penis. friends” who are allowed into the USA under these circumstances.

Man-Love Thursdays Rather than ridiculing Afghans for In order to deal with the sexual theater rampant man-on-man sex, the US of the absurd that is Afghanistan’s military would do well to capitalize on all-male meat market, American sol- it as a means for winning hearts and diers use the term “Man-Love Thurs- minds. days” to sum up the situation. This phrase is based on the observation These same lovers of our soldiers are that Thursday evening is an especially potentially the best ambassadors of busy night for M2M hook-up, due to the American Way. It is under Taliban the holiness of Friday as a day of rule that homosexual men were prayer. It became a joke among service crushed to death, all the while the Talpersonnel: “Are Scott and Jack iban leadership had its own set of wrestling again? Must be Man-Love beautiful men and boys behind closed Thursday!” doors. If done properly, loving relationships between American and Afghan The real kicker here is that there has men could forge strong tribal bonds been man-love between US soldiers that resonate with Afghan folklife, and and Afghans. There always is. And favorably distinguish us from our enesome of our boys have fallen in love mies. with beautiful men who cruise the streets of Kandahar and Kabul. Some The difference between Faggotstan of our girls will no doubt do the same and Hotmenistan (and Hotgirlistan) is with some of Afghanistan’s beautiful only in the eye of the beholder. We women. should explore the potential of the latter as a tactical means of forming But such a situation could possibly lasting alliances.

outlook is starting a beard stroking club. To sign up, just come by the office and touch our faces. Please wash your hands first.

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Can you imagine if Jennifer won, then showed up to her first day in the Senate dressed like this ad?

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EVEN

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Collin Burton – The new face of the Ohio Democratic Party’s LGBT focus

by Michael Daniels Collin Burton has just been named to head the Ohio Democratic Party’s (ODP) LGBT Caucus, and he’s jumping into the role with both feet. One of his first meetings was with us at outlook – not necessarily the easiest of initial meetings. Over sushi – he ordered vegetarian, the rest of us were fully carnivorous – Burton shared his ideas and asked for ours as he takes on the challenging role of liaison between ODP, its candidates and the GLBT community statewide.

Born in Youngstown and raised in Westerville, Burton is a proud Ohio native. He’s a graduate of Westerville South High School and Marquette University, with time spent at Oxford University in the United Kingdom.

An early activist, Burton participated in a local city council campaign at age 12. While at Marquette, he was a founding member of the MU Gay Straight Alliance and became President of the group during his junior year.

Most recently, Burton served as the cofounder of an organization called The Activist Nation, which focuses on organizing young adults to participate in global activism.

So just who is Burton, and how will he function in this critical outreach role? Let’s find out.

Michael Daniels: What does the LGBT Caucus Director do? How does your job impact the Ohio LGBT community?

Collin Burton: I unite the statewide LGBT community with all levels of Democratic candidates and elected officials. Being the only full-time statewide LGBT Caucus Director in the country, it’s my responsibility to ensure the Ohio LGBT community has access to the Party and its candidates, and that our candidates have access to the community.

MD: What is the role of the LGBT Caucus regarding elected officials and candidates? Do you educate them on LGBT issues?

CB: The Caucus serves multiple functions.

We educate candidates on all issues of importance to the Ohio LGBT community, we provide an open forum for LGBT Ohioans to speak directly to candidates in order to develop strong relationships, we work collaboratively with all LGBT organizations in Ohio and we are always on the lookout for LGBT rising stars to become candidates for office.

Our goal is to advance LGBT equality by electing more LGBT public officials, developing early relationships with allied candidates and fostering stronger relationships with officials already in office.

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MD: What are your philosophy and approach to working with other LGBT groups that may not be strictly partisan? What about working with partisan groups such as Stonewall Democrats chapters?

CB: The LGBT Caucus works within the Democratic Party to move LGBT equality forward. We believe that, while there is always more progress to be made within our Party, it has been the Democrats who have stood up for the LGBT community time and time again. Personally, I feel we have the obligation to ensure all LGBT groups are given an equal voice, even though we will not always agree on particular strategies or candidates. Often times, too much focus is made on areas of disagreement; however, we all have the same overall mission and will work in concert toward that goal. LGBT and allied voters don’t elect candidates solely based upon the party label. That’s why it’s so important that the LGBT Caucus work with Democratic candidates so they understand the issues facing the LGBT community and reach out to earn the community’s trust and votes. The LGBT Caucus understands that non-partisan groups won’t always support candidates on the Democratic ticket, but there will always be more areas of agreement than disagreement.

MD: What attracted you to this position?

How do you think you will be different than other/former LGBT Caucus directors?

CB: The opportunity to serve my community in such a positive way is absolutely incredible. There’s no way I could’ve passed this by, knowing what’s at stake in 2010. The outcome of this year’s election determines which party controls the Apportionment Board, which meets every 10 years to redraw the district lines in the state. Republicans have controlled the board for the past 20 years, which has set back LGBT equality and the progressive movement. The result was clear on House Bill 176, the Equal Housing and Employment Act. The Democratic Ohio House passed the bill, with all Democrats voting in favor, but the Republican-dominated Senate – no thanks to district lines that were drawn heavily in their favor – has yet to take up the bill. WHEN we win the offices that are key to the Apportionment Board (Governor, Secretary of State and Auditor), Ohio’s LGBT community will benefit drastically. We will be able to elect more LGBT-friendly officials and Ohioans will finally have the broad support necessary for pro-LGBT legislation: the repeal of Ohio’s Defense of Marriage Act, support for the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, increased same-sex adoption rights, support for gender identity issues, and more. It is my goal to ensure everyone – voters, candidates and electeds – is aware of the importance of

this election and is working together to ensure a profoundly brighter future for LGBT Ohioans.

MD: How does the LGBT Caucus work with other Caucuses at ODP? Are there combined efforts between LGBT, women, African American, Latino, labor, etc? How can we strengthen those combined efforts, or should we strengthen them?

CB: The Political Team at ODP is extremely tight knit. We currently have four established caucuses (LGBT, African American, Women and Next Generation Democrats), with the plan to add a Latino Caucus Director in the next month. All caucuses work closely together to ensure all members of the community have access to the candidates, so our bond is already very strong. We also work directly with Labor outreach and the Ohio House and Senate Caucuses to ensure all union and legislative matters are also addressed with input from the caucuses. Ultimately, many individuals may belong to multiple caucuses. For example, I’m a member of the LGBT Caucus and the Next Generation Democrats Caucus. Overlap ensures that all voters are provided the tools necessary to make their decisions come Election Day. This also helps with volunteer recruitment. If you’re interested in volunteering for the Ohio Democratic Party, the caucus overlap allows you to choose from a variety of events that fit your schedule and passion.

MD: What is one thing the GLBT community does not know about the LGBT Caucus at ODP but should?

CB: The ODP LGBT Caucus was created for YOU. I’m here to hear your needs and communicate them effectively to candidates on our ticket, party leaders and LGBT groups around the state. So please, don’t hesitate to email me at lgbt@ohiodems.org to provide your input on any issue or candidate.

MD: How can members of the community get more involved in electing LGBT and progressive candidates?

CB: The Democratic Party and Ohio’s LGBT community have the same goal of fostering a more accepting society through the election of LGBT and equality-minded officials. I encourage everyone to get involved through volunteering, attending candidate and ODP events and reading as much as humanly possible to become educated on where the candidates stand on LGBT issues (which includes following the Caucus on Twitter: twitter.com/ohioLGBTdems and of course reading outlook).

Let Collin hear your voice and ideas by contacting him at lgbt@ohiodems.org or 614.221.6563.

Unfortunately, no relation to Tim Burton. So, please, stop asking him for Johnny Depp’s digits.

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Mow the lawn or cut the grass... which do you do?

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Turning Over a New Leaf: Strader’s Garden Centers Mickey Weems

Al is in charge of Strader’s Garden Center in Grove City at 2625 London-Grove Port Road, I am a green Gay. Not only do I recycle, I also right off 71, and Ruth thinks the world of him. love plants. Our apartment is lush, filled with She is also extremely proud of what he has done tropical foliage. Our porch has pine trees, sky with that store in terms of merchandising, depencil holly, and red dogwood. During the warm sign and commercial success. months, we experiment with different annuals to add color, including marigolds and morning Out, Proud, and Driving a Bobcat glories.

So who is this Al Norman that Ruth praises?

No surprise, then, that we look forward to visiting a Strader’s Garden Center like it’s a miniFirst of all, he is a man with a sense of humor. trip to Disney World.

When I asked him to describe himself, he said, “I’m FABULOUS!” Unlike other businesses, Strader’s has not been hit hard by the downturn in the economy. People Al praises Ruth right back. “I am fortunate to are spending their money on their homes, inwork for accepting employers like Jack and Ruth cluding their yards, instead of going on expen- Strader. I’ve not been hushed or silenced in my sive vacations. With 6 locations in and around openness of who I am,” he said, adding that he Columbus, Strader’s has the added advantage has had a long-term partner for 24 years. When of being a small business that can provide a asked about whether there is a problem with variety of merchandise not featured in larger being out-and-proud in front of his employees, chains because smaller volume means he said, “If they can’t deal with me, they don’t Strader’s has less fear of overstocking an item. have a job.” Al has employees of every orientaStrader’s provides plant installation, advice for tion, accepts them all for who they are, and degardening, birdseed and feeders, sales and up- mands they do the same. “I am the queen bee keep for lawn mowers, and seasonal equipment here,” he said, and he adheres to some basic for leaf and snow removal. In addition, the main business principles: “Have good taste and know center has bicycles and bike repair. how to get along with people.”

On one such trip to buy evergreen trimmings for Yule, I spoke with Ruth Strader, one of the owners of the local chain of garden centers, at their 5350 Riverside Drive location. A slender woman with eyes that dance, I mentioned to her how much my husband and I love coming to her stores.

There is always that moment when we as Gay folks wait to see how people react when we casually reveal our orientation. Much to my relief, Ruth was not one bit fazed. When I told her I was a freelance writer for outlook and broached the idea of writing about Strader’s, she said, “You must talk with Al Norman!”

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The first things to greet my eyes are flowers and live bamboo. There are statues placed about a display of attractive dishes, bowls, and knickknacks, and houseplants are everywhere. To the left are supplies for gardening.

The large open space of this Strader’s has a series of visual vignettes further into the building, each with its own theme and housed in its own structure, buildings within the building that rise before the viewer. There is a cedar A-frame that houses the Country Cottage dedicated to indoor gardening, and a garden shelter for ceramic pottery. A large mural of an oak tree is painted on the wall, the handiwork of a member of Al’s staff. But the most glorious is the conservatory structure that leads into the tropical greenhouse.

holiday season.

Garden businesses tend to lose income during the winter months, so Strader’s stores invest heavily in Christmas décor as well as snow removal and birdseed. Al summons forth all his fierce forces of fabulousness for his annual Holiday Open House during the first weekend of December. “We have coffee, cookies, and apple cider plus live music from the local high school,” he said. One year it was 4 girls with violins. Last year it was two boys with silver trumpets.

100 luminaries grace the lawn, and over 100 Christmas trees shine with thousands of tiny bulbs for the Festival of Light. The place sparkles with lights winding throughout the rafters, the fresh-cut greens, and the poinsettia It is like being transported into another world. exhibit. All other store lights are turned off. Al Amid the greenery, a waterfall splashes into a describes it as “Fluff, fluff, fluff!” which for large koi pond, home to fish that Al adopted many of us in the Rainbow Tribe is why we love from people who could no longer keep them due the holidays so. to their size.

The Season To Be Jolly is a ways off, but spring “Our customers come in to visit their fish,” Al is right around the corner. If you are a Green Gay told me. Kids from those families will rush im- man, a Land-Loving Lesbian, a Backyard-Workmediately to the koi pond to say hi to their ing Bisexual, or a Tilling Transperson, take the finned friends, calling them by name. Of all the time to visit Al Norman, or any of the Strader’s living things one can purchase, these fish are Garden Centers. Let’s support those who supWhat’s not to love about this guy? not for sale. port us as we create our own little paradise, right in our own homes.

And Al is proof that fabulousness does not A Man for All Seasons mean prissiness. He’s not afraid to get his Strader’s locations: hands dirty. “At my New Year’s Eve party, my Spring in Al’s store is beautiful, with a grand friends decided I had the gayest job,” he told selection of potted and foil-wrapped tulip, daf- 5350 Riverside Drive 614.889.1314 me. “But that’s because they don’t see me hop- fodil, hyacinth, gardenia, and azalea. Colorful 2625 London-Grove Port Road 614.875.0606 ping on the Bobcat and unloading 18 pallets of pansies are displayed in flats and decorative 9800 Dublin Road in Powell 614.792.1970 sod.” bowls.

1354 King Avenue in Grandview 614.486.2626 7141 East Broad Street near Reynoldsburg The Art of Al As seasons change, Al changes the color 614.322.0715 palette. Pinks and yellows are replaced with vi- 5500 West Broad Street near Hilliard So I visited Al’s store. Note to the reader: call brant “hot” colors, which in turn change to 614.853.3676 614-875-0606 and get directions. Our Garmin warm harvest colors for the fall.

GPS sent us to a non-existent location.

On the web: www.straders.net But the real treat is to see the store during the

Pansy a word meaning someone who is easily tricked or conned. Also a derogatory term for homosexual.

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Networking is the cheapest and easiest way to increase your customer base. Join us!

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Get off the Sidelines and Make a Difference this Earth Day Climate change, garbage filling our seas, disappearing marine life, reefs dying off – the news about our ocean environment seems almost insurmountable, unsolvable. But nothing could be further from the truth.

Don’t spend another Earth Day sitting on the sidelines hoping the world becomes a better place. Make it happen. 50 years ago this year, a group of concerned citizens launched the world’s first sea turtle conservation effort.

Today, half a century after the nonprofit Caribbean Conservation Corporation (CCC) began studying and protecting sea turtles in Costa Rica, green turtle populations at CCC’s project site in Tortuguero have grown by over 500%. The harvesting of turtles has been replaced with sustainable ecotourism and Tortuguero’s 20-mile sea turtle nesting beach is fully protected as a national park, home to the largest breeding population of green turtles in the Western Hemisphere.

It all started when a small group of people decided to stop watching sea turtles vanish into extinction and started taking action. Today, CCC is using the science-based strategies developed in Tortuguero to protect sea turtles and their habitats in the U.S., the Caribbean and around the world. The threats facing our

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oceans and marine life are real, but there is still time to make a difference if we all stop waiting on the sidelines and start taking action.

This April 22, celebrate the 40th Anniversary of Earth Day by doing your part to protect some of the most important creatures in the sea. Sea turtles fill virtually every niche in the marine environment – from the beaches where they nest to coral reefs, sea grass beds and the open ocean. Sea turtles depend on and enrich all these habitats. By saving them, we can protect the ecosystems that enable all life in the oceans to survive.

“I think of sea turtles as the ambassadors of the sea,” said David Godfrey, executive director of Caribbean Conservation Corporation.

“Whether sea turtles vanish from the planet or remain a wild and thriving part of the natural world will speak volumes about the health of the planet and mankind’s ability to coexist with the diversity of life on Earth.”

Today, sea turtles face numerous threats.

Commercial fishing activities kill thousands each year. Beachfront development permanently disturbs their nesting habitat. Many sea turtles die from eating or becoming entangled

in plastic debris that litters the oceans. Trash, particularly plastic bags that end up in the sea, is often mistaken as food by sea turtles.

Leatherbacks, the largest of the world’s sea turtles, are particularly susceptible to confusing plastic bags with jellyfish - the main component of their diet.

The United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) reported in 2001 that between 500 billion and one trillion plastic bags are used and discarded each year, millions of which end up in our environment.

How You Can Help Reduce your “plastic footprint” by boycotting plastic bags in grocery stores and shopping outlets. For one month, try using only cloth bags or reuse old plastic bags.

Participate in or organize a trash clean-up project. Find a local clean-up event by looking online at the EPA’s website. If you live near the coast, beach clean-ups are a great way to help maintain clean, safe nesting sites for sea turtles.

To support the conservation efforts of Caribbean Conservation Corporation, become

Nerdle the Turtle says, “Don’t be a hag -- reuse your bags!”

a member by adopting a sea turtle for Earth Day. Visit CCC online at www.cccturtle.org or call 800-678-7853 to join. For a tax-deductible donation of $25, CCC will send a personalized adoption certificate, a sea turtle conservation guide, a membership decal, a sea turtle sticker and bookmark, a hatchling magnet, and a one-year subscription to CCC’s membership publication, all in a keepsake sea turtle folder. Your membership helps continue important research, conservation and advocacy programs that are protecting sea turtles and their ocean habitats.

The nonprofit Caribbean Conservation Corporation was the first sea turtle research and conservation group. Over 50 years ago, CCC launched the global movement to save sea turtles and now conducts the longest continuous turtle conservation programs in the world.

Founded in 1959 under the scientific direction of Dr. Archie Carr, the leading authority on sea turtles, CCC is based in Florida and conducts research, education, advocacy programs that are saving sea turtles and their habitats in the U.S. and around the world. † For images, videos and PSA, please visit cccturtle.org/media

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LOW (od

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Dan learned that move from watching Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.

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Let’s Talk About Sex So I read about love - read it in a magazine….

So don’t tell me I don’t understand…

So why - don’t you moan and sigh. Why - do you sit there and cry? I do everything I’m supposed to do If something’s wrong, then it must be you…When I touch you there it’s supposed to feel nice…

Richard Thompson (“Read about Love” Rumor and Sigh)

to attribute their non-enthusiastic response to our sexual inadequacy and fall right into the shame we were trying to avoid.

Sex – it’s supposed to be easy. Even the Fundy Christians tell us that our bodies are programmed for it (hence the need to be wary of temptation and sin). When we were growing up, the magazines, movies and kids on the playground told us that all we had to do was put the right peg in the right hole and “wa lah!” we get instant ecstasy. The fact that it didn’t work out so well pushed a lot of us to come out to ourselves. Once out, we brought the expectation that sex should be easy with us when we hopped on or over the fence.

But wait, there’s more! Even if we’re lucky enough to take pride both in our bodies and our sexual desire, we still have to contend with the fear that we won’t or don’t live up to our partner’s expectations. The myth that sex is simple sets us up to believe that we are supposed to know what to do and how to do it to please ourselves and others. To ask our partner(s) what they want and how is a sign that we haven’t quite mastered the book of love, and who wants to feel the shame of that?

The only way to escape shame’s tyranny is to expose it in a safe way. Find a way to talk to your partner(s) honestly and openly about sex. If you don’t trust your partner enough to talk to them about sex, it’s probably not safe to be with them. If you can trust them, it’s best to start the dialogue before you get started. Think of it this way, if you were planning a trip with someone, you’d want to discuss specifics like where you were going and for how long before you set off.

This sort of planning doesn’t mean that you can’t skip a place here or stay a few days longer there. It just means you have a basic itinerary.

You should have the same sort of conversation before you have sex with someone. Even if they kiss you with the passion of a thousand fires and you can feel the electricity between the two of you crackle in every cell in your body, you need to check out where they want to go with their sparks. If you assume that they want penetration when all they want to do is be caressed and kissed, you risk breaking something sacred. It’s important to keep the communication channels open, telling your partner what feels good and what could feel better in the moment. For example, if they’re being rough and your body is craving tenderness (or vice versa), ask them to soften (or intensify) their touch. It beats pretending to be satisfied when you really aren’t.

Sex can be easy — when everything is in synch and the stars are aligned. But even if the stars are aligned, things are rarely in synch. Sure, your juices may flow and you may “get off,” but unless a whole set of conditions are met, you may walk away from the experience feeling somewhat cheated, like you had carob when you wanted chocolate, or like you fell deeper into isolation when what you were really craving was a sense of profound connection. Or maybe you felt the instant gratification that comes with orgasm, but left resenting the strings that go with it either because you feel trapped and/or guilty by their strings or because they don’t accept the strings that you unconsciously attached to sex.

Instead of asking, we follow recipes from books, magazines, videos and past sexual encounters.

There are at least three problems with this approach. First, everyone’s body is different. The exact same pressure on the exact same spot with the exact same rhythm that drove one partner to ecstasy may drive the next to flaccid indifference or frustrated annoyance. Second, our bodies are constantly changing. What felt fabulous yesterday may hurt today. And third, mood has a huge impact on sexual response. If one or both of you are frustrated, angry, stressed or sad, this may affect how both bodies respond.

Add to this, there’s nothing like a call from Mom to dampen a mood. If we don’t talk to our partner(s) about what’s going on, all we know is that their bodies aren’t reacting the way we think they should. When this happens, it’s easy

Sometimes it’s best to strike while the iron is cold. Rather than telling your partner that you are turned off by his sexual awkwardness or insecurity in the heat of the moment, it might be better to discuss this over coffee when both of you have your clothes on. If you frame it right, you may be able to help him let go of some of his shame. If you notice that that your partner seems more interested in touching you than in being touched and wonder what this is about, rather than make up stories like “I must suck as a lover,” ask her what’s going on. If you’re embarrassed about the size of your thighs or by the keg that you see in the mirror where the fitness ‘zines tell you your six-pack should be, find a way to talk about this. You might as well bring it out in the open. Unless they are stoned or high, they will probably notice that you put a lot of en-

Your body needs to be held and to hold, to be touched and to touch. None of these needs is to be despised, denied, or repressed. But you have to keep searching for your body’s deeper need, the need for genuine love. Every time you are able to go beyond the body’s superficial desires for love, you are bringing your body home and moving toward integration and unity. -Henri Nouwen**

by Regina Sewell

In order for everything to be in synch, we have to

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talk openly and honestly with our partners about sex. Unfortunately, we often don’t because shame gets in the way. Our culture tells us that our sexual desire is dirty, bad or just plain wrong. Add to this the cultural and subcultural pressure on women and gay men to be gorgeous, buff and perfectly groomed. It’s hard to be comfortable in a body that we fear to be too thin, too fat, to saggy, too hairy, or just too not like the cover of a magazine. To speak openly about our desires - to tell a partner what feels good, what feels less good, and what doesn’t feel good at all and to expose our feelings about our imperfect bodies can bring us face to face with this shame. Rather than facing our shame, most of us try to circumvent it. We engage in all sorts of contortions to keep our partner(s) from seeing our less than perfect body parts and expect our partner(s) to read our bodies and our minds and to magically know what makes us zing.

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Don’t decoy, avoid, or make void the topic / Cuz that ain’t gonna stop it

ergy into hiding your perceived imperfections anyway. If you are a sexual abuse survivor and sometimes get triggered during or after sex, share what’s going on for you with your partner.

Let them help you through it.

Because the topic is so sensitive, it’s best to follow the following basic format when you have this morning (or afternoon or evening after) conversation. First, let yourself soften into your body, so that you can feel the energy in your hands and feel your belly rise and fall with your breath.

Second, find objective words to describe what they are doing or failing to do. Describe what they are saying or doing that turns you off (or your fears of what they will think of you) without criticism, judgment, evaluation (i.e. “you do this because…”), or generalization (i.e. you always, you never). Third, keep the focus on yourself (i.e.

“When you roll over and push me away after you come, I think you are rejecting me and I feel hurt.”). Fourth, put out a specific request for what you would like them to do. (I.e. “I’d like you to hold me for a little while after you come.”)

It’s probably clear that all this communication, risk taking and shame defying is a lot of work.

But it’s only after you do this work that you can get everything “in synch.” So stop eating carob when you are craving chocolate and start sharing your sexual desires, aversions and fears with your partner(s). Isn’t it time you got what you really wanted? **Henri Nouwen was a Dutch born Catholic Priest and writer who struggled both with intense feelings of loneliness (though he had some 1,500 personal friends) and with his homosexuality. It is perhaps his deep, soul-wrenching struggle that makes his books (best known titles are: The Wounded Healer, In the Name of Jesus, Inner Voice of Love, The Life of the Beloved and The Way of the Heart) so compelling and popular. As a counselor, his Inner Voice of Love, is especially compelling because he simply published his diary from December 1987 to June 1988 during one of his most serious bouts with clinical depression. According to the biography by Michael Ford, he craved to be touched and held.

Regina Sewell is a mental health counselor. To ask a question, propose a column topic, read about her approach to counseling, or check out her books and other writing, go to: www.ReginaSewell.com. Her most recent publication, “Sliding Away” can be found in Knowing Pains: Women on Love, Sex and Work in Our 40s, edited by Molly Rosen.

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Michael wanted to call the event “Get ridden by hot Latinos in WestGay� - he was overruled.

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Blue Food Bonanza

by Mette Bach

But all of this greatness pales in comparison to an event we now refer to as the At the risk of sounding like that guy who Blue Food Bonanza. One night, having a takes great pleasure in telling everyone hankering for club soda and cranberry that he listened to R.E.M. before they juice, we ventured into the generally-outwere popular: I’ve been on a tight budget of-our-price-range Super Value only to since long before this economic crash. I discover that all President’s Choice items understand shoestring living. And bewere half off. It’s embarrassing how cause my friends are artists, I belong to a much glee this incited as we practically whole community of folks who are willing danced up and down the aisles filling our to walk three extra blocks to save sevbaskets with generic blue food. enty-five cents on bananas.

“It must be some kind of Olympics-reOn weekends, my neighbor and I meander lated scam,” I said. down the hill to No Frills for meats and alternates, the West End Market for “Who cares,” he said, “This is better than greens, the Maple Leaf Bakery for bread. Christmas.”

We tell each other that it’s like living in Europe. It kind of is. Budget grocery We crammed boxes of granola bars and shopping seems to be the latest awebags of rice into our baskets and laughed some trend amongst us super cool and and laughed, like we’d won the lottery. hip folks.

“You know,” he said, “Maybe this is some On the way back up the hill, clutching our kind of set up, like a Candid Camera heavy cloth bags and sweating, my trick. Maybe people with cable TV are neighbor will say something like, “They watching us right now. Oh, Honey, come really mean it when they say ‘no frills’” look at the poor people shopping. They’re and I’ll respond with by talking about the so happy about the discounts. Isn’t that crabby service and the way people are quaint?” willing to body slam each other over split pea and ham soup. Then we’ll agree that This just made us giggle more as we it’s worth it anyway and point out the heaped our blue food onto the conveyor week’s best score: a big bottle of sham- belt at the cash register. poo for a dollar or a marinade for only two bucks. I’ll feel fortunate that I have “I guess it is a little undignified,” I said, my chosen family to go grocery shopping looking at the blueness of it all. with and he’ll suggest other errands, perhaps a trip to the post office or the hard- “Undignified?” he exclaimed, “Girl, we’re ware store. in the middle of the winter Olympics. Who around here has dignity?”

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In elementary school we would have a day where we would bring in regular food in strange colors. I brought in blue brown cookies. They still haunt ne.

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COMMUNITY RESOURCES SPONSORED BY MALCOLM RIGGLE & CMR INC.

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Can you believe it’s been a year - thank you, Malcolm, for sponsoring this page!!

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In case you didn’t know, Sowers is the only openly-out candidate running in Franklin County.

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In Search of a Missed Connection

by Mark Kotowski

my lifetime goal.

Today I bought a flask for all the wrong reasons. I never intend to actually buy anything during my frequent outings to shopping centers in search of inciting a Craigslist “missed connection,” but it sometimes happens.

I walked in and immediately noticed the guy at the register, who was exactly my type. My target was tall, skinny, dark-haired, standoffish, and sexy. Sexy and gay, I hoped, although I’m pretty sure he was gay based on his voice as he was talking to his female coworker. But I couldn’t just go up and talk to him, and it was too soon to resort to gazing games. I had to buy something. I’ve kind of always wanted a flask, and this one was on sale for $10. So why not? I grabbed it and lingered around the register for a while, waiting for the right moment, trying to think of something to say to strike up a conversation, something that would show my forced interest and potentially lead to a future “Missed Connection” posting.

This is my first flask, was all I could think of.

A “missed connection” is just that — you could’ve connected with someone, but, for reasons known only to the universe, you don’t.

You’ve missed out. Not in the stars for you today, my friend. “Missed Connections” in Craigslist usually take the form of, “Hey, we passed each other in front of Union around noon, and I saw that you were staring. Let me know what I was wearing so I know it’s you.”

It’s the go-to place if you hit it off with some guy at the bar last night but never got his name or number. Or if you thought your server was hot and wanted to see if he was as interested in you as you are in him.

I pulled out all the stops during my shopping trip today, putting to use every technique and creepy, lingering stare that I could muster. All this to see my name on Craigslist, where I browse the “Missed Connections” section, almost constantly, hoping to see that my labors hadn’t been in vain. Today was the day.

It’s no secret that there are plenty of attractive, trendy guys at Urban Outfitters, the home of tight jeans and of deep Vs. And even though Urban Outfitters is not really my scene, I went for the sights - and to pursue

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I went to the register with my flask and tried to be chill. And by describing my composure as “chill,” you could already guess that I was acting in a completely affected manner that reeked of desperation and flaming homoeroticism. Not really the latter - I just wanted to use that phrase. So I put my flask on the counter. “Is that all?” he asked. “Yep.” Then he started talking to that female coworker again - who was now across the room - yelling: “DID YOU PUT THE CLOTHES BACK ON THE RACK YET?” Was he trying to avoid conversation with me? Or was he intimidated? Or trying to look popular and impress me? Clearly, I’m full of myself, but I did look

pretty good. I told him I wanted to pay credit, and I did something awkward with my free hand while I held the stylus waiting to sign for my “first-ever” flask. I didn’t tell him. It never came up.

At one point I tried to interject myself into the conversation he was having with his coworker. He said something about cookies. I think. So then I said something lame like “I want a cookie!” He ignored it and continued his conversation. I stopped trying after that. It was time to cut my losses. I walked away with my new 6 oz. flask with an origami crane on it.

But I didn’t let that first failure faze me as I hightailed it to Easton. First stop: The Banana. The first employee I encountered was cute, dressed in a vest and tie and seemed vaguely interested in me. Eye contact is the key, so I tried my best to lock gazes when I could. With a slight smile masked by slightly pursed lips (to strengthen my jawline), I bored into his psyche. You will post about me. You will post about me.

But who was I kidding? My attempts at conversation were completely misdirected; he was only into selling me the pants. I can only exaggerate interest in someone for so long before it’s time to put my money where my mouth is - and even that has yet to work.

“Give me a call when it goes on sale” was all I said before I handed them back to him and left. He should have pushed it a little harder; I

Cookie Monster want coooookiiiiiieeeee!

totally would have buckled and bought them then.

And when I was turning the corner on my way to the last installment of my clothing store trifecta, Buckle, a tall guy in a green button-up was rounding the corner, too. I tried my best to make awkwardly flirtatious eye contact.

You know, the kind that says, “I’m interested, but mostly because I’m curious what I’m capable of getting.” The kind that would constitute a “connection,” or so I hoped. I hooked him, and then proceeded to stare him down hardcore. He stared back, so I kept at it. The whole time I was thinking, This is it. This is my missed connection. I hoped the vain attempt wasn’t obvious, and I attended to keeping my gait strong, remembering his shirt color and keeping my facial expressions in line with “the angles” that tip off the gays and made me look my best.

The intense staring lasted only a few seconds; I had to break it off as we were about to pass each other. I was so excited about my mild success that I neglected the follow through the glance behind me to seal the deal. But I’d still like to consider it a step in the right direction. I’m still hoping for my first “Missed Connection” posting any minute now, and whether it’s on my iPhone, my computer, or in the library, I’m going to be checking, boys.

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Seriously, it’s a free haircut. Use the bloody coupon!

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FRIDAY, APRIL 23 HERBIVORES Vegetate “Thursday’s” @ Dragonfly, 247 King Ave, 614.298.9986, http://neovevents.com : Vegetate to Dragonfly Neo Veg every Thursday for six weeks. Vegetate and Grow with us. DJ Sets, Scotty Niemet, CJ Townsend. 10p - 2:30a; $4.

SATURDAY, APRIL 24 WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TODAY TO MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD Miss Columbus Gay Pride Pageant @ Trade Winds, 117 E Chestnut St, 614.461.4110, www.tradewindsii.com: Wigs, hair spray, Paige Passion, and panstick. Good times. 7p; cover.

SUNDAY, APRIL 25 Though We Can’t Get Married There...

Ohio Statehouse Wedding Open House @ The Ohio Statehouse, 77 S High St, 614.752.9777: The Ohio Statehouse, with its obvious grandeur, is the perfect wedding venue-an experience that will be unparalleled. Come see how the OS embodies the perfect locale for a wedding ceremony and reception with its Greek Revival architecture and appealing exterior landscape. 1p-5p; free.

HEPATITiS - H-E-P-A-T-I-T-i-S The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, www.centerstageplayers.com: A hilarious tale of overachievers’ angst chronicling the experience of six adolescent outsiders vying for the spelling championship of a lifetime. Fri 8p, Sat 4p/8p, Sun 4p; $15.

THURSDAY, APRIL 29 LEADERS ARE BORN NOT MADE… OR ARE THEY? 7th Annual Raymond E. Mason, Jr. Leadership Symposium @ Columbus Convention Center, 614.947.6888, http://leadership.franklin.edu: This “Day of Leadership” is offered annually through the Leadership Center at Franklin University and this year will feature a keynote panel with respected Central Ohio leaders. 8a-4p; YPC members $225, teams of 4 $200 each, FRIDAY, APRIL 30 LESBIANS, AIDS AND A BLAZE OF GLORY Rent @ Emerald City Players, 6799 Dublin Center Rd (Dublin Village Shopping), Dublin, 614.210.1111, www.emeraldcitypalyers.com: Come enjoy 525,600 moments and an innovative set! Through May 8. ThuSat 8p, Sun 2p; $10-$15.

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mucrew.com: This Conference is free for all GLBT adults and allies. Speakers/panels include: Spirituality, GLBT in the Military, Drinking and Driving, and HIV in Young Gay Dayton. Breakfast and lunch provided. This is a fantastic event for social networking, getting updated information, and finding ways to become an advocate here in The Miami Valley.

10a-4p; free.

MONDAY, APRIL 5 I SEE DANGER, STRANGER BEWARE Self-Defense Course for LGBT Community @ OSU Campus Pomerene Hall, rm 213, 1760 Neil Ave, 614.292.4527: Learn mental, verbal and physical selfdefense skills. Hi-YA! Register/more info: sves@osu.edu. Apr 5, 12, 19, & 26. 6p-8p; free.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Karaoke IDOL Contest @ Union Bar+Food, 782 N High St, 614.421.CAFE (2233), columbusnightlife.com: Win $$ & advance to final round. Over $2500 in prizes. 10p; free.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 7 BIRDS OF A FEATHER CMC Lunch Forums @ Athletic Club of Columbus, 136 E Broad St, www.columbusmetroclub.org: “If You Could Talk With the Animals” featuring Dale Schmidt, Executive Director of The Columbus Zoo and Aquarium plus a panel of animals to be announced. 12p-1:15p; mem $18/guest $28.

SHOUTING “PATHETIQUE!” $15. VIP tickets must be purTchaikovsky’s “Pathetique” @ chased in advance & are $30 The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, each.

614.469.0939: It’s enough exBUT WHO COULD EVER LOVE A BEAST? cuse for you to walk around for CALLING BEAUTY @ CCAD, 107 the next three days saying everyNorth 9th Street, 614.224.9101, thing is “pathetique.” April 16 & www.ccad.edu: Calling Beauty 17; 8p; $60, $48, $40, $32, $27, returns to the gallery as a site for and $18. primary engagement with art.

Within the traditional arena of a RHYTHM IS A DANCER gallery context, aesthetics as a Airs and Dances II @ Columbus system of social constructs is Dance Theatre, 592 East Main addressed in this exhibition by Street 614.849.0227, www.hixonbringing together a collection of dance.org : The company will be contemporary works of art that presenting 3 premiere dance fall within the realm of what is works set to the music of Bach, widely considered “beautiful.”

Schubert, and local composer Jacob Reed! This concert is genI THOUGHT THE GRID CLOSED? erously supported by The Greater Off the Grid @ Wexner Center for Columbus Arts Council and Ohiothe Arts, 1871 N. High St, Dance. Fri & Sat April 16-17th @ 614.292.3535, wexarts.org: What 8pSun April 18 @ 2p, happens when you mix top-shelf Fri & Sat April 23-24th @ 8p; acts, delicious eats from some of $20 adults, $15 students/seniors the city’s finest restaurants, the Hard Targets exhibition, a fierce SATURDAY, APRIL 17 dance party and a good cause?

I WANT MUSCLE This apparently. Enjoy The Hood INBF Natural Buckeye Classic Internet, Anna and the An@ OSU Ohio Union Performance nadroids, Nick Tolford and Com- Hall, 1739 N High St, pany, DJ Detox, and Video 614.284.5037, www.naturalprojections by Rainer! 9p-2a; buckeyeclassic.com: Come gawk $40/$50. at these drug-free, natural body builders as they complete for the SUNDAY, APRIL 11 coveted best in show! Prejudge REMEMBER WHEN NINA WAS EOY 12p; $10/Finals 5p; $20/day Miss Columbus Entertainer-of- pass $25. the-Year @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, columbusTUESDAY, APRIL 20 nightlife.com: Come see who’s DO YOU CARE? entertaining with Bianca Nicole. 14th Annual Corporate Caring Starring Miss Columbus EOY Awards Luncheon @ Hyatt Re2009 Lady Brianna, Miss Ohio gency Ballroom, 350 N High St, EOY Deja D. Dellataro, Sable 614.463.1234, www.hayatt.com : Coate, Panize Bloom, Samantha Don’t miss this opportunity to Rollins, Marie Lopez and Breanne celebrate philanthropy with J. Registration 5p /show 9p.

Columbus’ best. 12p-1:30p; cover.

TUESDAY, APRIL 13 RIM SHOT THURSDAY, APRIL 22 Harlem Globetrotters @ Nation- WEARS MY CHAPS wide Arena, corner of Nationwide CLAW @ Mean Bull at Flex, 2600 and Neil, 614.246.2000, Hamilton Ave, 216.812.3304, www.NationwideArena.com: The http://clawinfo.org/CLAW9/sched Globetrotters are dribbling on ule9.html : Join Us In Cleveland, over to Columbus and you don’t April 22-25 for CLAW 9, a new want to miss out. April 13; 7p; kind of leather convention! kids $15, adults $33.

Through Apr 25; $125/$135/$145.

THURSDAY, APRIL 15 TAGLINE THE BURBS Wine Around the World @ The Arsenic and Old Lace @ King River Club at Confluence Park, Avenue United Methodist Church, 614.437.2902, www.win299 King Ave, 614.424.6050: The earoundtheworld.kintera.org : King Avenue Players present Sample Twenty-two select wines, Joseph Kesserling’s 1941 clashors d’oeuvres and while your at sicin which two, kind-hearted, it bid on some fabulous silent elderly ladies have been poisonauction items. All while listening ing lonely, old gentlemen and to live music from pianist Erik hiding their bodies in the cellar Augis. 5:30p-8p; $45 in advance, of their house. Through Apr 24. $50 at the door.

Thu- Fri 8p, Sat 2p&8p; free, but a free-will offering is appreciated.

FRIDAY, APRIL 16 TWO MEASURES IN AND YOU’LL BE

• • • • • • • • about town • • • • • • • • THURSDAY, APRIL 1 ROV G BIV Journey into Color @ Studios on High, 686 N High Street, 614.461.648, www.studiosonhigh.com: Exploring the illusion of texture, balance and depth through color with Scott Conover, Lisa Horkin and Marty Husted.

Through Apr 30. Free.

FRIDAY, APRIL 2 NO MALE STRIPPERS CHURCH: Resurrection! (w/guest DJ EradiKate!) @ Skully’s, 1151 N High St, 614.291.8856 www.skullys.org : CHURCH: Resurrection is gonna drop the Industrial HAMMER as we invite DJ EradiKate from The Dock in Cincinnati to bring her signature thunder to the brand new gazillion-watt Skully’s sound system!18+ 10p-2:30a; $5-$8.

SHE’S SO NICE Bitch CD Release Party @ Thirsty Ear, 1200 W 3rd Ave, Grandview, 614.299.4987, www.thirstyeartavern.com: BITCH - CD release of “Blasted” at Thirsty Ear with The State Of. 9p; call for cover.

SATURDAY, APRIL 3 IF ONLY I COULD PARK Gallery Hop @ Short North: Come out to the Short North this evening to check out the galleries and hopefully snag some free snacks and wine - they’re always lurking somewhere. Your favorite stores will be open late and High Street will be buzzing. 4 -10p; as always, no cost.

THURSDAY, APRIL 8 WELL THAT’S JUST RUDE! What Ever To Markie Post?

RUDE 3 @ Due Amici, 67 E Gay POST Comedy Theatre @ McSt, www.due-amici.com: The Connell Arts Center, 777 Evening Galleryhop Afterparty with DJs Abyss, Moxy and Cashola. Holla! St, 614.431.0329: Come see the Wild, Wacky, Wonderful World of 10p-3a; $5. comedian Robert Post. Apr 810/15-17; $20 TOTALLY RAD, DUDE! TSURURADIO’s Super Awesome FRIDAY, APRIL 9 No-Frills Bike Ride for Breast Cancer @ Park Of Roses, 3923 YOU DON’T HEAR THAT IN CBUS N High St: April 3rd, you show up Moral Tales @ Havana, 862 N High St, 614.421.9697, columBEFORE 9a with your bike, your busnightlife.com: Moral Tales helmet, and $20 CASH. Donate $20 and pick out a 10, 20, or 50- with DJ Detox from the producers of Sweatin’. Cool music and marmile route map. At or just after 9a, we all ride out together! Fol- tinis or beer or ... 10p; free. low your chosen route map, have SATURDAY, APRIL 10 fun, make friends, enjoy a nice April morning, until you are done. GRRRRrrrr YOU ARE AWESOME!!! We count BEARvillities Kamp Kountry Jamboree @ Wall Street Night the money raised, announce it here, and give it ALL to the Susan Club, 144 North Wall Street, G. Komen for the Cure group! 9a- 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: BEARvillities™ 1p; $20 returns again this year for Kamp Kountry Jamboree! The annual musical and comic extravaganza will take the stage at the Wall Street Night Club. 6:30p-10p; WHO’S GOT ISSUES? MuCrew Blue Conference @ Kuhns Building, 15 West 4th St, Dayton, 937.424.8900 www.the-

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • outlook’s sponsored events • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

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12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 6:00 PM LGBT Self Defense @ Pomerene Hall r213, OSU 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industy Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Karaoke IDOL Finals @ Union 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

26

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 6:00 PM LGBT Self Defense @ Pomerene Hall r213, OSU 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industy Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke IDOL Contest @ 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

19

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 6:00 PM LGBT Self Defense @ Pomerene Hall r213, OSU 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industy Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke IDOL Contest @ 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

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12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 6:00 PM LGBT Self Defense @ 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Blue Jackets at Blues 9:00 PM Service Industy Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke IDOL Contest @ 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

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29 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industy Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

Monday

30

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe … Service Industy Night @ Level 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slammers 9:00 PM Drag Queen Bingo @ Score

27

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe … Service Industy Night @ Level 12:00 PM 14th Annual Corporate Car! ing Awards Luncheon 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slammers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 9:00 PM Drag Queen Bingo @ Score

20

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe … Service Industy Night @ Level 7:00 PM Harlem Globetrotters @ Na! tionwide Arena 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slammers 9:00 PM Drag Queen Bingo @ Score

13

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe … Service Industy Night @ Level 5:30 PM Evening Exchange @ Embassy Suites 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slammers 9:00 PM Drag Queen Bingo @ Score

6

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe … Service Industy Night @ Level 7:00 PM Blue Jackets vs Lightning 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slammers 9:00 PM Drag Queen Bingo @ Score

Tuesday

31

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Athlet! ic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Trivia & Family Feud @ Score Bar 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St

28

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Athlet! ic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Trivia & Family Feud @ Score Bar 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St

21

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Athlet! ic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 6:00 PM Network Columbus @ Score Bar 7:00 PM Trivia & Family Feud @ Score Bar 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St

14

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Athlet! ic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Trivia & Family Feud @ Score Bar 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:30 PM Blue Jackets at Red Wings 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St

7

12:00 PM 50 Years of Civil Rights in Ohio @ Athletic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 7:00 PM Trivia & Family Feud @ Score Bar 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St

Wednesday

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8:00 AM Leadership Symposium @ Convention Center 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score Bar

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4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:00 PM Arsenic and Old Lace @ King 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score Bar

Earth Day

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8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee @ Axis 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Rehab

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8:00 PM Angels in America, Part 2 @ Know Theater Cincinnati 8:00 PM Rent @ Emerald City Players 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Rehab

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8:00 PM Tchaikovsky's "Pathetique" @ Ohio Theater 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Rehab

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7:00 PM Blue Jackets vs Red Wings 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:00 PM Moral Tales @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Rehab 11:00 PM The Paige Passion Show at Inn Rehab

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8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Bitch CD Release Party @ Thirsty Ear 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Rehab

Friday

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… The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Re! hab 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

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… The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Re! hab 6:30 PM An LGBT Taste Maker A"air @ The Ritz Lounge 7:00 PM Miss Columbus Gay Pride pageant @ Tradewinds 9:00 PM Clash of Miss C.O.M.I.C. Bene!

10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion 2

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… The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Re! hab 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab

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… The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Re! hab … The Paige Passion Show at Inn Re! hab 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab

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… The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Re! hab 4:00 PM Gallery Hop @ Short North 7:00 PM Toy2R Qee World Tour @ Rivet Gallery 7:00 PM Blue Jackets vs Capitals 8:00 PM Angels in America, Part 1 @ 10:00 PM MuCrew Blue Conference @ 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion 2

Saturday

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4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 5:30 PM Wine Around the World @ The River Club at Confluence Par 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 10:00 PM Sweatin' Party @ AXIS 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score Bar

CLAW 9 in Cleveland

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9:00 AM BNI Group One-to-Ones @ Panera Bread (Bethel) 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score Bar

Tax Day

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4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 7:30 PM Blue Jackets at Red Wings 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score Bar

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photography by robert trautman

• • • • • Stylings B69 Bomber by Lockheed Martin = $89,565,129.21 Nylon Bomber Nose Wrap by Atchley = $999.99 Texas style Big Hair by Gary Motto = $369.00 Onyx and Diamond Neck Belt by Dickies = $46.50

www.outlookcolumbus.com Bombs & Bombshells

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U … The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab 1:00 PM Ohio Statehouse Wedding 6:00 PM Stippers @ Q Bar 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

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11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U … The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab 6:00 PM Stippers @ Q Bar 9:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

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11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U … The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab 6:00 PM Stippers @ Q Bar 9:00 PM Miss Columbus Entertainerof-the-Year @ Axis 9:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

CLAW 9 in Cleveland

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11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U … The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab 6:00 PM Stippers @ Q Bar 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 9:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

Easter

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 1:00 PM Softball Sign-up @ Union Bar +Food 6:00 PM Stippers @ Q Bar 7:00 PM Blue Jackets at Blackhawks 7:00 PM Nina! @ Axis 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

Sunday

Special Events

Networking

Bars/Clubs Weekly Events

US Holidays

Blue Jackets

April 2010

Paige Passion starring in Boobs for the Boys

34-35(inside)_Calendar 3/25/10 3:55 AM Page 1

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12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 6:00 PM LGBT Self Defense @ Pomerene Hall r213, OSU 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industy Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Karaoke IDOL Finals @ Union 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

26

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 6:00 PM LGBT Self Defense @ Pomerene Hall r213, OSU 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industy Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke IDOL Contest @ 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

19

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 6:00 PM LGBT Self Defense @ Pomerene Hall r213, OSU 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industy Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke IDOL Contest @ 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

12

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 6:00 PM LGBT Self Defense @ 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Blue Jackets at Blues 9:00 PM Service Industy Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke IDOL Contest @ 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

5

29 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industy Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

Monday

30

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe … Service Industy Night @ Level 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slammers 9:00 PM Drag Queen Bingo @ Score

27

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe … Service Industy Night @ Level 12:00 PM 14th Annual Corporate Car! ing Awards Luncheon 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slammers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 9:00 PM Drag Queen Bingo @ Score

20

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe … Service Industy Night @ Level 7:00 PM Harlem Globetrotters @ Na! tionwide Arena 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slammers 9:00 PM Drag Queen Bingo @ Score

13

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe … Service Industy Night @ Level 5:30 PM Evening Exchange @ Embassy Suites 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slammers 9:00 PM Drag Queen Bingo @ Score

6

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe … Service Industy Night @ Level 7:00 PM Blue Jackets vs Lightning 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slammers 9:00 PM Drag Queen Bingo @ Score

Tuesday

31

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Athlet! ic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Trivia & Family Feud @ Score Bar 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St

28

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Athlet! ic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Trivia & Family Feud @ Score Bar 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St

21

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Athlet! ic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 6:00 PM Network Columbus @ Score Bar 7:00 PM Trivia & Family Feud @ Score Bar 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St

14

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Athlet! ic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Trivia & Family Feud @ Score Bar 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:30 PM Blue Jackets at Red Wings 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St

7

12:00 PM 50 Years of Civil Rights in Ohio @ Athletic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 7:00 PM Trivia & Family Feud @ Score Bar 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St

Wednesday

8

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8:00 AM Leadership Symposium @ Convention Center 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score Bar

29

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:00 PM Arsenic and Old Lace @ King 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score Bar

Earth Day

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8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee @ Axis 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Rehab

30

8:00 PM Angels in America, Part 2 @ Know Theater Cincinnati 8:00 PM Rent @ Emerald City Players 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Rehab

23

8:00 PM Tchaikovsky's "Pathetique" @ Ohio Theater 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Rehab

16

7:00 PM Blue Jackets vs Red Wings 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:00 PM Moral Tales @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Rehab 11:00 PM The Paige Passion Show at Inn Rehab

9

8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Bitch CD Release Party @ Thirsty Ear 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Rehab

Friday

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… The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Re! hab 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

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… The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Re! hab 6:30 PM An LGBT Taste Maker A"air @ The Ritz Lounge 7:00 PM Miss Columbus Gay Pride pageant @ Tradewinds 9:00 PM Clash of Miss C.O.M.I.C. Bene!

10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion 2

24

… The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Re! hab 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab

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… The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Re! hab … The Paige Passion Show at Inn Re! hab 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab

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… The Best in Female Illusion @ Inn Re! hab 4:00 PM Gallery Hop @ Short North 7:00 PM Toy2R Qee World Tour @ Rivet Gallery 7:00 PM Blue Jackets vs Capitals 8:00 PM Angels in America, Part 1 @ 10:00 PM MuCrew Blue Conference @ 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q 11:00 PM The Best in Female Illusion 2

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4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 5:30 PM Wine Around the World @ The River Club at Confluence Par 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 10:00 PM Sweatin' Party @ AXIS 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score Bar

CLAW 9 in Cleveland

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9:00 AM BNI Group One-to-Ones @ Panera Bread (Bethel) 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score Bar

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4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 7:30 PM Blue Jackets at Red Wings 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score Bar

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photography by robert trautman

• • • • • Stylings B69 Bomber by Lockheed Martin = $89,565,129.21 Nylon Bomber Nose Wrap by Atchley = $999.99 Texas style Big Hair by Gary Motto = $369.00 Onyx and Diamond Neck Belt by Dickies = $46.50

www.outlookcolumbus.com Bombs & Bombshells

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U … The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab 1:00 PM Ohio Statehouse Wedding 6:00 PM Stippers @ Q Bar 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

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11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U … The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab 6:00 PM Stippers @ Q Bar 9:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

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11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U … The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab 6:00 PM Stippers @ Q Bar 9:00 PM Miss Columbus Entertainerof-the-Year @ Axis 9:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

CLAW 9 in Cleveland

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11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U … The Best in Female Illusion 2 @ Inn Rehab 6:00 PM Stippers @ Q Bar 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 9:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

Easter

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 1:00 PM Softball Sign-up @ Union Bar +Food 6:00 PM Stippers @ Q Bar 7:00 PM Blue Jackets at Blackhawks 7:00 PM Nina! @ Axis 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

Sunday

Special Events

Networking

Bars/Clubs Weekly Events

US Holidays

Blue Jackets

April 2010

Paige Passion starring in Boobs for the Boys

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FRIDAY, APRIL 23 HERBIVORES Vegetate “Thursday’s” @ Dragonfly, 247 King Ave, 614.298.9986, http://neovevents.com : Vegetate to Dragonfly Neo Veg every Thursday for six weeks. Vegetate and Grow with us. DJ Sets, Scotty Niemet, CJ Townsend. 10p - 2:30a; $4.

SATURDAY, APRIL 24 WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TODAY TO MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD Miss Columbus Gay Pride Pageant @ Trade Winds, 117 E Chestnut St, 614.461.4110, www.tradewindsii.com: Wigs, hair spray, Paige Passion, and panstick. Good times. 7p; cover.

SUNDAY, APRIL 25 Though We Can’t Get Married There...

Ohio Statehouse Wedding Open House @ The Ohio Statehouse, 77 S High St, 614.752.9777: The Ohio Statehouse, with its obvious grandeur, is the perfect wedding venue-an experience that will be unparalleled. Come see how the OS embodies the perfect locale for a wedding ceremony and reception with its Greek Revival architecture and appealing exterior landscape. 1p-5p; free.

HEPATITiS - H-E-P-A-T-I-T-i-S The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, www.centerstageplayers.com: A hilarious tale of overachievers’ angst chronicling the experience of six adolescent outsiders vying for the spelling championship of a lifetime. Fri 8p, Sat 4p/8p, Sun 4p; $15.

THURSDAY, APRIL 29 LEADERS ARE BORN NOT MADE… OR ARE THEY? 7th Annual Raymond E. Mason, Jr. Leadership Symposium @ Columbus Convention Center, 614.947.6888, http://leadership.franklin.edu: This “Day of Leadership” is offered annually through the Leadership Center at Franklin University and this year will feature a keynote panel with respected Central Ohio leaders. 8a-4p; YPC members $225, teams of 4 $200 each, FRIDAY, APRIL 30 LESBIANS, AIDS AND A BLAZE OF GLORY Rent @ Emerald City Players, 6799 Dublin Center Rd (Dublin Village Shopping), Dublin, 614.210.1111, www.emeraldcitypalyers.com: Come enjoy 525,600 moments and an innovative set! Through May 8. ThuSat 8p, Sun 2p; $10-$15.

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mucrew.com: This Conference is free for all GLBT adults and allies. Speakers/panels include: Spirituality, GLBT in the Military, Drinking and Driving, and HIV in Young Gay Dayton. Breakfast and lunch provided. This is a fantastic event for social networking, getting updated information, and finding ways to become an advocate here in The Miami Valley.

10a-4p; free.

MONDAY, APRIL 5 I SEE DANGER, STRANGER BEWARE Self-Defense Course for LGBT Community @ OSU Campus Pomerene Hall, rm 213, 1760 Neil Ave, 614.292.4527: Learn mental, verbal and physical selfdefense skills. Hi-YA! Register/more info: sves@osu.edu. Apr 5, 12, 19, & 26. 6p-8p; free.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Karaoke IDOL Contest @ Union Bar+Food, 782 N High St, 614.421.CAFE (2233), columbusnightlife.com: Win $$ & advance to final round. Over $2500 in prizes. 10p; free.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 7 BIRDS OF A FEATHER CMC Lunch Forums @ Athletic Club of Columbus, 136 E Broad St, www.columbusmetroclub.org: “If You Could Talk With the Animals” featuring Dale Schmidt, Executive Director of The Columbus Zoo and Aquarium plus a panel of animals to be announced. 12p-1:15p; mem $18/guest $28.

SHOUTING “PATHETIQUE!” $15. VIP tickets must be purTchaikovsky’s “Pathetique” @ chased in advance & are $30 The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, each.

614.469.0939: It’s enough exBUT WHO COULD EVER LOVE A BEAST? cuse for you to walk around for CALLING BEAUTY @ CCAD, 107 the next three days saying everyNorth 9th Street, 614.224.9101, thing is “pathetique.” April 16 & www.ccad.edu: Calling Beauty 17; 8p; $60, $48, $40, $32, $27, returns to the gallery as a site for and $18. primary engagement with art.

Within the traditional arena of a RHYTHM IS A DANCER gallery context, aesthetics as a Airs and Dances II @ Columbus system of social constructs is Dance Theatre, 592 East Main addressed in this exhibition by Street 614.849.0227, www.hixonbringing together a collection of dance.org : The company will be contemporary works of art that presenting 3 premiere dance fall within the realm of what is works set to the music of Bach, widely considered “beautiful.”

Schubert, and local composer Jacob Reed! This concert is genI THOUGHT THE GRID CLOSED? erously supported by The Greater Off the Grid @ Wexner Center for Columbus Arts Council and Ohiothe Arts, 1871 N. High St, Dance. Fri & Sat April 16-17th @ 614.292.3535, wexarts.org: What 8pSun April 18 @ 2p, happens when you mix top-shelf Fri & Sat April 23-24th @ 8p; acts, delicious eats from some of $20 adults, $15 students/seniors the city’s finest restaurants, the Hard Targets exhibition, a fierce SATURDAY, APRIL 17 dance party and a good cause?

I WANT MUSCLE This apparently. Enjoy The Hood INBF Natural Buckeye Classic Internet, Anna and the An@ OSU Ohio Union Performance nadroids, Nick Tolford and Com- Hall, 1739 N High St, pany, DJ Detox, and Video 614.284.5037, www.naturalprojections by Rainer! 9p-2a; buckeyeclassic.com: Come gawk $40/$50. at these drug-free, natural body builders as they complete for the SUNDAY, APRIL 11 coveted best in show! Prejudge REMEMBER WHEN NINA WAS EOY 12p; $10/Finals 5p; $20/day Miss Columbus Entertainer-of- pass $25. the-Year @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, columbusTUESDAY, APRIL 20 nightlife.com: Come see who’s DO YOU CARE? entertaining with Bianca Nicole. 14th Annual Corporate Caring Starring Miss Columbus EOY Awards Luncheon @ Hyatt Re2009 Lady Brianna, Miss Ohio gency Ballroom, 350 N High St, EOY Deja D. Dellataro, Sable 614.463.1234, www.hayatt.com : Coate, Panize Bloom, Samantha Don’t miss this opportunity to Rollins, Marie Lopez and Breanne celebrate philanthropy with J. Registration 5p /show 9p.

Columbus’ best. 12p-1:30p; cover.

TUESDAY, APRIL 13 RIM SHOT THURSDAY, APRIL 22 Harlem Globetrotters @ Nation- WEARS MY CHAPS wide Arena, corner of Nationwide CLAW @ Mean Bull at Flex, 2600 and Neil, 614.246.2000, Hamilton Ave, 216.812.3304, www.NationwideArena.com: The http://clawinfo.org/CLAW9/sched Globetrotters are dribbling on ule9.html : Join Us In Cleveland, over to Columbus and you don’t April 22-25 for CLAW 9, a new want to miss out. April 13; 7p; kind of leather convention! kids $15, adults $33.

Through Apr 25; $125/$135/$145.

THURSDAY, APRIL 15 TAGLINE THE BURBS Wine Around the World @ The Arsenic and Old Lace @ King River Club at Confluence Park, Avenue United Methodist Church, 614.437.2902, www.win299 King Ave, 614.424.6050: The earoundtheworld.kintera.org : King Avenue Players present Sample Twenty-two select wines, Joseph Kesserling’s 1941 clashors d’oeuvres and while your at sicin which two, kind-hearted, it bid on some fabulous silent elderly ladies have been poisonauction items. All while listening ing lonely, old gentlemen and to live music from pianist Erik hiding their bodies in the cellar Augis. 5:30p-8p; $45 in advance, of their house. Through Apr 24. $50 at the door.

Thu- Fri 8p, Sat 2p&8p; free, but a free-will offering is appreciated.

FRIDAY, APRIL 16 TWO MEASURES IN AND YOU’LL BE

• • • • • • • • about town • • • • • • • • THURSDAY, APRIL 1 ROV G BIV Journey into Color @ Studios on High, 686 N High Street, 614.461.648, www.studiosonhigh.com: Exploring the illusion of texture, balance and depth through color with Scott Conover, Lisa Horkin and Marty Husted.

Through Apr 30. Free.

FRIDAY, APRIL 2 NO MALE STRIPPERS CHURCH: Resurrection! (w/guest DJ EradiKate!) @ Skully’s, 1151 N High St, 614.291.8856 www.skullys.org : CHURCH: Resurrection is gonna drop the Industrial HAMMER as we invite DJ EradiKate from The Dock in Cincinnati to bring her signature thunder to the brand new gazillion-watt Skully’s sound system!18+ 10p-2:30a; $5-$8.

SHE’S SO NICE Bitch CD Release Party @ Thirsty Ear, 1200 W 3rd Ave, Grandview, 614.299.4987, www.thirstyeartavern.com: BITCH - CD release of “Blasted” at Thirsty Ear with The State Of. 9p; call for cover.

SATURDAY, APRIL 3 IF ONLY I COULD PARK Gallery Hop @ Short North: Come out to the Short North this evening to check out the galleries and hopefully snag some free snacks and wine - they’re always lurking somewhere. Your favorite stores will be open late and High Street will be buzzing. 4 -10p; as always, no cost.

THURSDAY, APRIL 8 WELL THAT’S JUST RUDE! What Ever To Markie Post?

RUDE 3 @ Due Amici, 67 E Gay POST Comedy Theatre @ McSt, www.due-amici.com: The Connell Arts Center, 777 Evening Galleryhop Afterparty with DJs Abyss, Moxy and Cashola. Holla! St, 614.431.0329: Come see the Wild, Wacky, Wonderful World of 10p-3a; $5. comedian Robert Post. Apr 810/15-17; $20 TOTALLY RAD, DUDE! TSURURADIO’s Super Awesome FRIDAY, APRIL 9 No-Frills Bike Ride for Breast Cancer @ Park Of Roses, 3923 YOU DON’T HEAR THAT IN CBUS N High St: April 3rd, you show up Moral Tales @ Havana, 862 N High St, 614.421.9697, columBEFORE 9a with your bike, your busnightlife.com: Moral Tales helmet, and $20 CASH. Donate $20 and pick out a 10, 20, or 50- with DJ Detox from the producers of Sweatin’. Cool music and marmile route map. At or just after 9a, we all ride out together! Fol- tinis or beer or ... 10p; free. low your chosen route map, have SATURDAY, APRIL 10 fun, make friends, enjoy a nice April morning, until you are done. GRRRRrrrr YOU ARE AWESOME!!! We count BEARvillities Kamp Kountry Jamboree @ Wall Street Night the money raised, announce it here, and give it ALL to the Susan Club, 144 North Wall Street, G. Komen for the Cure group! 9a- 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: BEARvillities™ 1p; $20 returns again this year for Kamp Kountry Jamboree! The annual musical and comic extravaganza will take the stage at the Wall Street Night Club. 6:30p-10p; WHO’S GOT ISSUES? MuCrew Blue Conference @ Kuhns Building, 15 West 4th St, Dayton, 937.424.8900 www.the-

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • outlook’s sponsored events • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

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Save $2 when you get Spinelli’s Meat ... so many possible comments, so little time.

april 2010

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Building Coalitions Builds Equality

by Cheryl Pentella Repeal of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) policy is both a measure of how far we have come and how far we still have to go as a fair and just society.

The Military Readiness Enhancement Act, House Resolution 1283 and Senate Resolution 3065, would repeal DADT and replace it with a law that prevents discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.

As co-president of the National Council of Jewish Women, Columbus Section, I joined more than 400 members on Capitol Hill to lobby U.S. Representatives Mary Jo Kilroy, D-OH, and Patrick J. Tiberi, R-OH, and U.S. Senators Sherrod Brown, DOH, and George Voinovich, R-OH, to reject the prejudicial policy that threatens military readiness and security. Kilroy is a co-sponsor of the measure in the House and Brown is a sponsor of the resolution in the Senate. Voinovich and Tiberi both said they are waiting for a report from the military despite the fact that many military leaders have already endorsed the measure.

NCJW believes that denying basic rights to individuals on the basis of immutable characteristics, including sexual orientation and gender identity, is nothing short of morally reprehensible.

The good news is that we are in the majority. Ac-

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cording to a poll conducted by the Human Rights Campaign, 75 percent of Americans believe openly gay and lesbian citizens should be able to serve in the U.S. military. Additionally, a 2006 Zogby poll of soldiers returning from Afghanistan and Iraq showed that 75 percent of solders support the repeal. And, most importantly, the repeal is supported by key military leaders, including Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Admiral Michael Mullen, and National Security Advisor Jim Jones.

As a violation of civil rights laws that protect gays and lesbians from being kept out of jobs, the law is clearly discriminatory. But it is also unworkable and dangerous. During an NCJW Washington Institute panel discussion, David Stacy, deputy legislative director of the Human Rights Campaign, recalled the story of a highly-decorated Iraqi veteran in charge of up to 2,000 soldiers, who was thrown out of the military after his personal e-mails were found. He is one of 13,000 men and women who have been discharged as a result of the fatally flawed policy.

U.S. Representative Patrick Murphy, sponsor of the repeal measure, recounted a similarly tragic story to NCJW participants. Among the letters that Murphy received from soldiers in support of the repeal, was a note from a Company Commander in Afghanistan whose relationship was falling to pieces under the strain of repeated

tours of duty. Yet, he had no one to turn to for solace and support because doing so would have triggered his expulsion. “Here is a hero that is ready to take a bullet for his country who contemplated blowing his brains out because he had no one to turn to.”

mental and basic rights is a measure of how far we have to go. But the fact that the legislation has such wide spread support is a promising sign of how far we have come and our opportunity to make exponential gains on this issue and others.

Think about the threat to national security when you lose 13,000 capable, experienced service members, including 800 specialists with vital skills such as Farsi and Arabic translation. Think about the waste of taxpayer dollars when we spend $1.3 billion to train service people and then turn around and discard them. Think about the risk to our troops when we rotate weary soldiers back into war zones when, according to the Williams Institute, repeal of the measure could attract an estimated 36,700 new men and women to active duty and 12,000 to the Guard and Reserve.

“After decades of active aggression and centuries of passive aggression, the climate for GLBT issues has dramatically improved, “ noted panel participant Mara Keisling, founding executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality. “We have more fair-minded and friendly members in Congress than ever.”

Additionally, DADT has been particularly unfair to women. While women make up only 14 percent of the armed forces, 30 percent of those who have been discharged under DADT are women.

The bill was introduced in the U.S. House of Representative with 190 co-sponsors and in the U.S. Senate by U.S. Senator Joseph Leiberman with 25 sponsors.

The fact that we are still fighting for such funda-

According to Keisling, the Obama White House is willing to sit down with the GLBT community and hear them out, a radical departure from the previous administration. “We are not getting everything we want, but it is always a rational discussion, “ she added.

And, while we lack a pro GLBT majority in either chamber of Congress, we are able to achieve a majority on key issues such as the recently passed Matthew Sheppard hate crime legislation by building coalitions with like-minded organizations such as NCJW, Stacy explained.

Cheryl Pentella is Co-President, National Council of Jewish Women - Columbus Section. For more info www.ncjwcolumbus.org.

I love how people try to use the ‘gays in the shower’ argument when defending the ban on gays in the military. Like sex is allowed at all in the military code of conduct.

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Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack ... or some footlongs and beer ...

april 2010

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FAQ on DADT:A PoliTicAl Junkie’s Answers

by William Ashley Everyone knows a political junkie. Perhaps your grandmother’s television is perpetually tuned into CNN or your partner’s cell phone constantly buzzes with New York Times news updates. If, on the off chance, you’ve never met one, then consider this your introduction. My name is William Ashley, and I’m a political junkie.

We’re easy to spot: we wear thick-rimmed glasses, hold a Macbook in one hand and a Blackberry in the other, and we’re probably wearing a cardigan. Political junkies are known for gathering in small coffee shops to discuss Twitter’s trending topics of the day or to update our blogs. Information and awareness of current events is our drug; we crave it like crack and get off by spreading the love. Those outside of the group consider us pretentious intellectuals and know-it-alls, but we can’t help the desire to stay informed.

I take my duties as political junkie very seriously. When a friend approaches me with a question regarding current events, I relish in the opportunity to share with them what I know.

Lately, this has happened as an increased rate, and that’s due in large part to the recent news coverage of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy regarding homosexuals in the military. It seems as though I get asked the same questions every other day, but I never tire of answering them.

Even though I love gushing about politics to my friends, it is time for me to spread the knowledge on a wider scale. It’s very important for the LGBT community to be aware of the behind-thescenes information on this key issue. Straight from the keyboard of a political junkie’s Macbook, here are the most common questions I get from friends about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: How did such a socially unjust policy pass during a Democratic administration?

This is a common misunderstanding, and one that I didn’t correct for myself until just a few years ago. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was established

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in 1993 as a compromise between President Bill Clinton, Congress, and military leaders. In their annual defense authorization Bill, Congress inserted a policy that homosexuality was incompatible with military service. President Clinton ran on a platform of full inclusion in the military, regardless of sexual orientation, in his 1992 campaign. So, in an effort to soften Congress’ restriction, Clinton’s administration offered a ban on “homosexual conduct” instead of sexual orientation, and that military members were not to be asked questions about their sexual orientation. More than decade later, in August 2009, President Clinton stated that he regrets the way Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was implemented and hopes for the law to change.

As commander in chief, why can’t President Obama just put an end to Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?

As I previously mentioned, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was a segment of Congress’ defense authorization bill, which makes it a statue law; a law written and passed by Congress. Statue laws cannot be overturned by an executive order.

However, President Obama is capable of placing a motion for repeal within his suggestions for the next defense authorization bill. Many advocates for repeal suggest this course of action. It would be a fitting end to the policy; repealed in the same manner that it was enacted. Additionally, if the repeal is an amendment to the defense authorization bill, then opponents of the repeal would need to amass 60 votes to strip it from the bill. Those who wish to end Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell say that this could be an easier route for success than passing a standalone bill in both houses of Congress.

Why is there so much coverage about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell now?

In January’s State of the Union address, President Obama took the first step towards ending the ban. He explicitly told Congress that he wants them to work on overturning Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. This is the first time a sitting president has called for action towards the policy.

Additionally, in the first Senate hearing on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell in February 2010, the top military

commanders (Secretary of Defense Robert Gates and Admiral Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff) stated their support in stopping the policy. This was a major blow to Republican proponents of the ban, some of whom stated in the past that they would be OK with repealing the law if it were advised by military leaders.

How can Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell be stopped?

In order for Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell to be repealed, either Congress needs to write a repeal into law (through the defense authorization bill or in a standalone bill) or the Supreme Court has to declare it as unconstitutional. The Supreme Court turned down a chance to rule on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell in the summer of 2009. The Washington Post stated that the court had sparred the Obama administration from “having to defend in court a policy that the president eventually wants to abolish pending a review by the Pentagon.”

What is being done now?

After declaring his support for ending Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Secretary Gates ordered a 10-month review of the policy in February 2010 and issued terms for the review in March. The review seeks to solicit opinions on the policy both inside and out of the Department of Defense, as well as potential implications should it be repealed.

Secretary Gates told the American Forces Press Service that the review will help prepare the Department for possible repeal of the law and “if the Congress does choose to pursue a legislative remedy, we are able to inform that process in a more helpful way.” Secretary Gates emphasized that any changes to law should be implemented in the least-disruptive way as possible.

In late March 2010, he announced that Pentagon lawyers will review whether the Defense Department is legally able to enforce Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell more loosely after President Obama’s request for repeal in the State of the Union address. The Washington Post reported this change in enforcement as “no longer investigating the sexual orientation of service members based on anonymous complaints,

I think he just wants his lunch money.

restricting testimony from third parties, and requiring high-ranking officers to review all cases.”

Additionally, there are bills in both the House of Representatives and the United States Senate to stop Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Representative Patrick Murphy (PA-8) is championing the House bill, which at the time of press has 191 co-sponsors - two of which are Republican. The Senate bill was introduced by Senator Joseph Lieberman (I-CT) and currently has 25 co-sponsors - all Democrats. Should either bill make it past the committee votes, then it will head to the main floor of the legislature. At that point it will need to pass a majority of the House and a supermajority of the Senate (a 60-vote supermajority will protect the bill against the allpowerful filibuster).

What are the main arguments for and against the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?

Those who favor a repeal of the law do so in the name of civil rights. They argue that sexual orientation has nothing to do with performance in the military, and that we a turning away ablebodied citizens who wish to protect our country.

Proponents of Don’t Ask, Don’t tell argue that it is not in our best interest to change policy in military personnel while in the midst of two wars. Also, some say that the number of people discharged by Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is too small to be deemed a sufficient loss of military manpower.

I want to help in the fight against Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Where can I find more information?

The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network is the leading organization dedicated to the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Along with their lobbying efforts, the SLDN provides legal support to members of the military who has been affected by the policy. You can find more information about this organization at www.sldn.org.

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The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire... w e don’t need no water let the mother f*#ker burn...

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United We Stand: An intimate interview between partners on DADT

by Mikey Rox Through the years I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing an array of pop and gay culture’s most intriguing personalities.

I remember distinctly the scheduled 20-minute conversation with rockerturned-actor Henry Rollins that extended into an hour’s worth of entertaining chat; exchanging emails on multiple occasions with superstar Cyndi Lauper to discuss her inspiring True Colors Tour; the verifiable laughfest with comedienne Margaret Cho whenever she had a new show to promote; and the no-holds-barred Q&A with Billy Bean, a former Major League Baseball player and still one of few athletes from the four main American sports to ever publicly come out.

Yes, I’ve interviewed some of the most interesting people alive – but none of them compare to this interview with my own fiancé.

Lt. Everett Earl Morrow and I met in 2006. He was visiting Baltimore, my home at the time, on weekend leave from the Navy.

Our romance was a whirlwind. What I meant to finish the first night it started – because of my own insecurities about long-distance dating – has turned into a three-and-ahalf year love affair with no end in sight.

But just because we’re still together, well, that doesn’t mean our relationship hasn’t experienced its fair share of ups and downs.

One of the most outstanding and complicating issues of our life together is that I lead a rather public life. I’m a writer, a social networker and sometimes socialite who likes to see and be seen. Lt. Morrow, on the other hand, is quiet, reserved and generally uninterested in rocking the proverbial boat.

Until now.

Refusing to rest on his laurels regarding the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, Lt. Morrow has made the brave choice to speak out and share his story – despite the consequences.

In this intimate, revealing interview between partners – one a journalist, the other a Naval officer – Lt. Morrow discusses his days as a midshipman at the United States Naval

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Academy, juggling his sexuality with his commitment to our country, making the tough decision to choose personal fulfillment over professional gain, and the discriminating DADT policy that ultimately ended his military career.

Mikey Rox: When you were accepted into the Naval Academy as a teenager, were you afraid that your sexuality would be problematic?

Lt. Everett Earl Morrow: No more than growing up in a small suburban town. I wasn’t openly gay to my family and friends when I entered the Naval Academy, and being aware of DADT at the time I didn’t have any plans for that to change.

Ultimately, I was afraid of what “coming out” would mean for my education, career and future. I wanted nothing more than to be honest with everyone, but at 17 years old I just didn’t know how to reconcile the two lifestyles and therefore stayed in the closet. I did this despite the personal toll that is was taking and would continue to take.

MR: How did you handle your sexuality during that time and throughout your military career? Did you pursue your interest in guys and in what capacity?

Lt. EEM: I handled it like many others did; I didn’t say or do anything that would call into question my sexuality. Even though I had no doubt that I was gay, I couldn’t risk raising the doubt in others that I was. At first, out of fear, I didn’t pursue any homosexual interests.

The risk was just too big to chance it. I lived in the dormitory while at the Naval Academy, which afforded little privacy – plus, I didn’t have a car for two years and otherwise was just afraid of being caught. This is part of that personal toll that I paid as result of DADT. I would have liked nothing more than to have both a professional and personal life during those four years. It wasn’t until I reported to my first command almost two years after graduation that I even thought of doing anything. Even then I made sure I was on liberty or leave and far out of town.

MR: Did you come out to any of your class- or shipmates while you were an active duty officer?

Lt. EEM: No, not while I was on active duty. Finishing my active-duty obligation was too important to take the risk on what someone else might do. I felt like my service was not only important to the mission at

How long do you think he can stand like that? The world record for standing on one foot is 70 hours and 40 minutes.

hand but as much to my future. It was a professional milestone that I began and had to finish. So the tradeoff was to make a personal sacrifice to accommodate DADT, which, looking back, I shouldn’t have had to do. I’ve since come out to some of my fellow shipmates, none of which have responded negatively.

MR: Were you ever suspected to be gay by your shipmates? Did you experience or witness any outward homophobia?

Lt. EEM: There were never any suspicions outside of jest. I was fiercely defensive of my personal life while at work so any suspicions would have only been based on a lack of knowledge to what I did with my time outside of work and why I never had a girlfriend. Essentially I had isolated myself in that sense, which didn’t help to make me a fully integrated member of the team like others were.

MR: When we first started dating, you knew that I was a journalist who published articles – including some rather controversial opinion pieces on gay issues, including the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy – in LGBT and mainstream publications across the country. Were you ever worried that your romantic involvement with me would somehow be discovered because of my work within the press?

Lt. EEM: At first, but only because I hadn’t built the trust and confidence in you and your profession that I needed to be completely comfortable with our relationship as it related to being in the military.

However, it didn’t take long for me to realize that the articles you write and the way in which you do write them are of the highest integrity. I came to trust that you would never divulge my identity unless I said it was OK. MR: How did you reconcile the potential outcome?

Lt. EEM: Given the nature of our relationship, in that we were dating long distance at first, I just didn’t think it was likely that I’d be caught. Had we lived closer or together I’m sure it would have been harder, which would have played a big part in my decision to leave active duty.

MR: Just before you chose to end active-duty service in the Navy, your superiors offered you a salary increase and a new assigncontinued on page 44 outlookcolumbus.com

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If you draw maps on your eggs, do they hatch into GPS devices?

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continued from page 42 ment in Annapolis. That presenteda problem because, at the time, I was living in Baltimore, which meant that we would be closer together, setting up a new set of obstacles. Why did you decline that position?

Lt. EEM: I would have loved to accept that position, but I realized that I loved you more and it just wouldn’t have worked for us to be that close together, especially because I expected that we’d move in together. This is exactly the inherent flaw in DADT, which is that it forces gays and lesbians in the military to choose between their professional and personal lives. As a result, many of us choose the latter, realizing that we can be just as successful and have a positive influence in the civilian world without having to put up with such a policy. Looking back, even though I would have loved the job and been great at it, I don’t regret my decision at all as I’m confident that I’m better off for it and that it’s the Navy’s loss.

MR: You recently participated in an off-camera interview for the upcoming documentary film “Out of Annapolis.” What did you discuss in the interview, and why did you choose to do it off-camera?

Lt. EEM: I discussed with the director, Steve Clark Hall, what it was like for me as gay man aboard a submarine. I shared with him that I don’t think our sailors would have the problem with openly homosexual crew members as some would lead you to believe. The reason I did the interview off-camera is primarily because that’s what the director required for those of us that wanted to participate but are still in either the regular or reserve Navy.

MR: Are you afraid of the consequences of DADT now that you’ve publicly taken a stand against the policy?

Lt. EEM: Not anymore. I used to be, but in light of recent events I just can’t stand by and not do whatever I can to help all gays and lesbians gain the right to be able to serve openly, which is something that I would have liked for myself.

MR: As someone who entered military service knowing the consequences, do you think it’s fair for the institution to discharge you based on the provisions of DADT? Lt. EEM: I don’t think that it’s fair at all for the military to discharge anyone based on their sexual orientation. The measure of a sailor, soldier, Marine, etc., should be based on the quality of their performance, not their sexuality. I, like many others, were deemed more than competent and proved to be real assets to our units. I just can’t understand why we have a policy that forces us out involuntarily or to make the decision to leave, like I did.

pen? What political and social obstacles do you think a bill to repeal the policy will encounter?

Lt. EEM: I’m confident that Congress will ultimately do the right thing. I see the major obstacles as all political. Unfortunately, there are still several of our legislators that just don’t get it. They refuse to recognize the reality of the fact that this won’t have the impact they fear. I’ve heard comments of the repeal having an effect on unit cohesion and military readiness. I think that couldn’t be farther from the truth as the current policy is what breaks these things down. Socially, I agree with Adm. Mullen’s comment “that the great young men and women of our military can and would accommodate such a change.”

MR: How do you feel when members of Congress and other leaders of this country speak out against allowing gays and lesbians to serve their country openly? Do you ever feel that your commitment to the United States – and your protection of its freedom – is undermined and unappreciated?

Lt. EEM: I feel both undermined and unappreciated in the sense that it’s only good enough for them that I serve as long as I keep quiet about my sexuality. If they truly understood or cared, they would appreciate me for more than just my service, like who I am as a person. It’s even more distressing for me when individuals like Sen. John McCain, who served so valiantly, say these things.

MR: How do you think a repeal of the policy will be handled by the rankand-file? Do you foresee increased instances of hate crimes and homophobia, or will the transition be made without incident?

Lt. EEM: I think that many people are underestimating our rank-and-file. Part of being in the military is being flexible and accommodating. All of us do this every day and I don’t think a repeal of DADT would be any different.

MR: If DADT is repealed, would you consider a return to active-duty service?

Lt. EEM: No. The Navy lost out on me two years ago when my military career was irreconcilable with my personal life because of this discriminatory policy. At that point I pursued other civilian opportunities and have found everything I was looking for. I’ve developed a new loyalty to my profession that balances with my love for you. No one I work with now would ever question that. That’s all any of us want, and even with a repeal of DADT I’m past going back. I love my country, value my service and would do it again if time were rolled back; however, I’ve moved on.

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and the principal of Paper Rox Scissors, a media and marketing company in New York City. For more information, visit www.paperroxscissors.com.

Before don’t ask don’t tell

by Elliot Fishman

ment.

Dave Lasher wasn’t asked and didn’t tell, but he lived in constant fear of disclosure during his 25 years in the Air Force.

“That group really taught me that I couldn’t keep myself in a box - that I had to find a way to accept myself.” He ultimately divorced his wife.

Several of those years, in fact, were spent on Air Force One. Now retired, Sr. Master Sergeant David Lasher worked his way up the ranks in aircraft electronics serving in Vietnam, Germany, Arizona, and Maryland - with his last years spent keeping Air Force One in tip-top shape, during the Reagan and first Bush administrations.

On the way to the top, he made some personal discoveries.

Having grown up in rural upstate New York, Lasher said he went right into the military from high school, “to get away and experience the world.”

And, as was common in the late 1960s and 1970s, he suppressed those feelings - acting on them only occasionally - and tried to be straight.

“I was married for twenty years and raised two sons,” said the 61year-old Rehoboth Beach resident, “I kept telling myself, this thing was a phase, that it would go away.”

Of course, his feelings for men didn’t go away, and in the early 1980s, while stationed in Maryland, Lasher discovered a group of gay married men, who met weekly in a Washington, D.C. church base-

Acceptance in the military, however, was quite a different thing.

tary, Lasher said he felt abused and powerless.

“Even if they didn’t know it, the straight people had all the power.

They could have outed me, and I would have lost everything. They took all of my power away from me.”

“That closet door was pretty tight,” Lasher said.

That is why he calls DADT “a compromise where the gay people lose,” and why he believes repeal is extremely important.

At the time, before anyone had ever heard of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” Lasher lived in sometimes paralyzing fear that he would be outed and discharged from the military. If that happened, he would lose both his source of income and his retirement eligibility.

“Repealing DADT would empower gays and lesbians in the military,” he said. “It would keep them from being emotionally abused the way I was.”

It was sometimes nightmarish for the airman.

“My co-workers used to tease and taunt me,” said Lasher. “I wasn’t the typical butch military guy. I was better at typing than I was at using tools, so they called me names and tried to get me to say I was gay.”

No one did find out, however, but Lasher decided to retire as soon as he reached the 25-year mark.

“I had to get out of there,” he said.

Lasher went to college and graduate school, eventually earning degrees in psychology and working as a school counselor. He also met Larry Pennington, whom he married in Canada in 2004 and has been with for 16 years.

Reflecting on his time in the mili-

Lasher is, however, more patient than many advocates for DADT repeal.

“I know a lot of people are upset with Obama for not doing it faster, but he had a lot on his plate the first year,” Lasher said. “I think that’s fair, and now we’re seeing some progress.”

He also thinks it will take some time for Americans to get used to the idea of gays in the military.

“It will take some time to desensitize people,” he said. “Right now, most people think of sexual behavior when they think of gay people.

They don’t think of identity. They need time to adjust.”

And, he says, it won’t all happen right away. “Look at the civil rights movement. After all of these years, there is still discrimination. It’s going to take us some time, too.”

MR: Do you think a repeal will hap-

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David Lasher pictured above is part of the notorious duo know as Chad’s aunt Dave & uncle Larry. Need we say more?

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Hot. Young. Vampires. Nothing more need be said.

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Yes, those are pink daisies. We’re the gay paper. Get over it.

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You nominated, you voted and now here’s the fruits of your labor! Congratulations to all our End All Be All Award Winners!

Enjoy your reign!

Best new queer business Level Dining Lounge

Best gay bar to pick up a straight guy in?

Level Dining Lounge

Best law firm for public indecency charges Rebecca Gooch Esq

Best gay bar to pick up a straight girl in?

Surly Girl Saloon Best restaurant to bring your mistress Betty's Fine Food & Spirits Best signature drink that gets you tanked Long Island, Union Bar+Food Smokingest smoking patio Union Bar+Food

Most comfortable place to get tested Columbus AIDS Task Force

Most confusing art installation, exhibit or show Andy Warhol @ The Wexner Center for the Arts Best performing art piece you didn't nod off in Columbus Gay Men's Chorus's "We Love the '80s"

Craziest nightlife event Columbus Pride Holiday

Best local queer publication Outlook Columbus

Least boring nonprofit fundraiser Bat-N-Rouge

Favorite local queer website outlookcolumbus.com

Best church I can hold Best bathroom to throw up hands in King Avenue United Methodist Church in Axis Nightclub Best gayborhood Short North Superior late-night munchies Toughest queer sports Hounddog's Three Degree Pizza league Ohio Roller Girls Best hangover food Press Grill Most efficient drag show Store windows that always Nina West's Glam Clam grab my attention Torso

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Congrats to all the winners! We’d say it’s an honor just to be nominated, but we know that’s crap.

Public official you wish were gay Governor Ted Strickland

Mo

B

Favorite professional queer Andrew Levitt/Nina West, Roy G Biv Corp/Entertainer Best straight ally U.S. Representative Mary Jo Kilroy

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Think Oyango likes the Tango? Probably only in certain audiences.

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Best fag hag/fairy princess Kate Burdett

Favorite stripper Rocco

Best ink slinger Chris Churchill, Evolved

Best NOMO (straight guy friend - not a homo) Ben Postlethwait

Most rocking-est local queer music group/musician Fabulous Johnson Brothers

Most courageous fashion style Samantha Rollins

Most awesome karaoke superstar Corey Williams

Realtor you most want in your bedroom Bruce Dooley, Dooley & Co.

Sluttiest couple (male or female) Kyle Kline & Steven Clark

King of the bears Kyle Kline

Best facial hair (male or female) Kyle Kline

Favorite tranny Nina West

Biggest media whore Nina West

When you look up "gay" in the dictionary, this person's picture is there Randall "I love leather" Wyatt

Hardest-working bar back Michael Bush, Union Bar+Food

Easiest bartender Rockelle Pace, Union Bar+Food

Hottest valet Scott, Hyde Park Steakhouse

Bank/Credit Union teller most likely to remember your name JP, PNC / National City

Coolest pet in a retail shop or office Gigi & Louie, Torso

Most original DJ that makes you sweat DJ Moxy

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Favorite massage therapist to get that kink out of your neck Sherri Gunn

Best hair stylist to pull a weave Dawn Thompson, Lucky Thirteen Hair Salon Wow! Nina is a media whore she won 3 different awards!

Butchest queer Maria Garrison

Favorite burlesque performer Viva Valezz

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creative class

Marketing Your Art 101

by Jennifer Sadler

another as well.”

Whether you are just starting out in your career as an artist or have been exhibiting for some time, navigating the business side of the art world can be tricky. We gathered some good advice from people in the visual arts to help you with the basics.

Making it in any type of career requires not only talent, but motivation and perseverance. Every person is different, with different goals and approaches, but if you are an artist who hopes to make a living on your work, it is essential that you learn a little business savvy - including marketing basics, grant-writing, building a portfolio and networking.

Building a Resume

Getting Started Building a network with your local arts community is an important first step. Joining or connecting with local arts organizations such as co-ops, art guilds and arts councils certainly will help you with networking in the community.

Other local artists and artist service organizations may help connect you to special exhibition and career development opportunities.

Several local arts organizations including the Ohio Art League, the McConnell Arts Center in Worthington, and the German Village Art League offer exhibitions, workshops and development opportunities.

The Greater Columbus Arts Council’s OPPArt Series has been successful in reaching out to artists looking for some career guidance. The series presents workshops conducted by experts in everything from grant writing to marketing and media techniques. The series also offers informal roundtable discussions and social events where artists can connect.

“Professional development opportunities are so important to our arts community - not just from a capacity perspective, but also from a networking and socializing perspective,” said Ruby Classen, Grants & Services manager for GCAC. “Many of our artists don’t feel connected to one another and the OPPArt sessions allow them to come together to learn skills from our expert presenters and in some cases, from one

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Learning the basics of the business side of the arts will help prepare you with the skills to start building a strong resume. Then you need to begin seeking exhibition opportunities. A wellrounded exhibition history will help not only to develop a portfolio and offer exposure, but will help in the future when you’re ready to seek gallery representation. There are a number of different types of exhibition opportunities.

Alternative spaces: These opportunities are plentiful in Columbus - Coffeehouses, libraries, restaurants, empty storefronts - you name it can be opportunities to show and sell art work.

Juried exhibitions: Entering juried exhibitions local and national - can sometimes get you national exposure.

Art festivals: Participating in festivals requires a lot of work, but they often attract large crowds, offering the kind of exposure that can increase sales. Even small shows can help build your clientele.

that it’s an artist’s personal choice regarding “where they push themselves and put in work and development.”

Tailor Your Plan Columbus-based visual and performance artist, Leni D. Anderson, whose work is now part of the Columbus Museum of Art’s permanent collection, has enjoyed a successful career by developing some business savvy - and by customizing his plan to best suit his goals and expectations.

Anderson said he got his start by “putting heel to pavement” by knocking on doors of traditional art spaces and non-traditional spaces and asking if he could put on a performance art event or visual art exhibitions.

Anderson became an active member in the local arts community and joined several organizations such as Acme Art Co., Ohio Art League and Roy G Biv, a gallery dedicated to emerging artists.

When approaching local galleries, it’s important to do some research before you get started.

“And, when a door didn’t open for me, I created or co-created my own opportunities by starting art groups like Gorilla Theatre & Co.; New Artistic Incident; Visions and Experimentation (N.A.I.V.E.); and Youth Media Arts Project (YouthMAP).”

“Local artists should take the time to check out whatever gallery they have an interest in before submitting and contacting - just to get a better understanding of galleries and what they show,” said Laura Kuenzli, owner of Rivet Gallery in the Short North which specializes in pop surreal art.

His work was recently selected for the prestigious Smithsonian Institution’s International Gallery exhibition, Revealing Culture, on view this year from June to September. Anderson said he found the opportunity by simply searching the internet where he found a VSA Arts international call for entries.

Galleries want to see a good current body of work, but they also want to see that you can present yourself professionally with a strong portfolio and a sense of motivation and drive.

If you’re looking for career development opportunities in the Columbus area, be sure to check out GCAC’s OPPArt Series. Check back at our Web site next month for detailed info on the May 20 workshop, Media Relations and the Individual Artist, featuring Elizabeth Jewell Becker, executive director of the Worthington Arts Council.

Connecting with Galleries

“It’s a very competitive world, like any other business,” said Rebeccal Ibel, owner of Rebecca Ibel Galleries located in the Short North and at the Miranova downtown. She added

Are those brass knuckles? When did art get so violent?

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How much starch do you think she’s got on the pant set? Can she even bend her knees?

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GAGA FOR GLEE

PEARCE JOINS PIERCE

The all-Madonna-song episode is coming up soon (begging the question of who gets to keep Jane Lynch’s cone bra), but this past weekend, Glee creator Ryan Murphy, at a Paley Center event in Los Angeles, revealed an even bigger piece of pop-culture news.

According to producers, the show reached out to Lady Gaga and she will appear in some capacity before the season ends, with the cast singing at least one of her songs. The theme: the power of theatricality, of course.

In what other context would you appropriately place a woman who, on live television, dives into fake pits of fire during a duet with Elton John? Meanwhile, the really important question now will be where the series will go in season two after getting all the biggest names on their “want” list right out of the box? And speaking of Elton John, when’s his cameo?

As Romeo reported earlier, the five-hour HBO miniseries event, Mildred Pierce, to be directed by acclaimed queer filmmaker Todd Haynes, already has its Mildred in Kate Winslet. And now the rest of the cast has been announced for the remake of the dark, classic Joan Crawford film about a hard-working single mother and her never-satisfied daughter. Guy Pearce will play Mildred’s mild-mannered suitor Monty and Evan Rachel Wood will take on the role of Mildred’s mean, spoiled child. Good move, since Wood already gained plenty of experience playing a bad girl in the film Thirteen. Rounding out the cast are Academy Award-nominee Melissa Leo and indie-film vet James Le Gros. Cameras roll in April and (not to jinx the process or anything but) Emmy nominations come later.

MO’NIQUE WANTS MCDANIEL’S LIFE ON SCREEN

Ask any indie rock fan and they’ll tell you that the Magnetic Fields are one of the most important bands of this generation. Don’t know them?

Then you’ve never met one-man song-machine Stephen Merritt, the band’s leader and creator of the chamber pop masterpiece 69 Love Songs.

Filmmakers Kerthy Fix and Gail O’Hara would like to change that cult status with their recently completed documentary Strange Powers: Stephen Merritt and The Magnetic Fields, which follows Merritt, a man who’s been called “the Cole Porter of his generation,” and the revolving cast of musicians who accompany him when the band performs. Appearing in the doc, alongside main MF collaborator Claudia Gonson, are Sleater-Kinney’s Carrie Brownstein, Superchunk’s Laura Ballance, writer Sasha FrereJones, Peter Gabriel, Kiki & Herb’s Kenny Mellman and Lemony Snicket author (and occasional MF accordionist) Daniel Handler – in other words, a feast for fans and soon-to-be fans. Find it soon at a film festival near you.

When you’ve got instant Hollywood power thanks to an Oscar win, it seems like a nobrainer to go after your dream project. And that’s just what Mo’Nique is planning by buying the rights to legendary actress Hattie McDaniel’s life story. McDaniel, the first African-American to win an Academy Award (for playing “Mammy” in Gone With The Wind), was namechecked in Mo’Nique’s acceptance speech, and now Mo’Nique wants to play her in a film project to be directed by her fellow Precious colleague and Oscar nominee Lee Daniels. Daniels already has Selma and Miss Saigon on his plate, so this project could take a few years to make happen. But Mo’Nique radiates power-player/producer already (something maybe to do with that refusal to shave her legs?) so it seems likely she’ll get what she wants eventually.

STEPHEN MERRITT HAS STRANGE POWERS

Romeo San Vicente has had at least 69 love songs written about him already. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

by Adam Lippe As a divisive figure in the then-burgeoning gay rights movement, writer-actor Quentin Crisp is worthy of being given a lengthy biopic, or at least one that gives equal time to arguing the ways he both helped and harmed the gay cause.

An Englishman in New York, which covers Crisp’s life as a latter day theater and television provocateur from the mid-1970s to his death in1999, is not that movie.

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At only 75 minutes (70 minutes pre-credits), director Richard Laxton’s An Englishman in New York only has time to skim the surface, with Crisp reduced to appearing to be a sexless, second-rate Oscar Wilde, dropping catty witticisms to his hungry and supportive theatrical audiences. We get set-ups for major ups and downs in Crisp’s life, from his stardom as an unfiltered TV guest on talk shows to his mouth getting him into trouble when he called AIDS nothing more than “a fad.” But An Englishman in New York,

which, after its film festival run, had a number of airings on the LOGO channel, only offers pit stops, with major figures in his life showing up as special guest stars and quickly exiting (such as Swoosie Kurtz as his agent, Jonathan Tucker as a needy gay painter, and Cynthia Nixon as his theatrical partner Penny Arcade).

The way that the theater shows are set up, An Englishman in New York suggests that Crisp simply responded to audience queries with halfbaked sexual retorts, like Mae West in a gray wig, while Penny Arcade performed burlesque as bookends. In essence, that’s what the movie is too; a vaudeville show with hero-worship.

However, as Quentin Crisp, John Hurt nearly saves the day. Reprising his role from Crisp’s groundbreaking 1975 TV movie The Naked Civil Servant, Hurt bypasses all of the rushed details (the early scenes, with their musical and clothing choices, seem to be shopping exclusively at the 1970s cliché store) and the notion that An

Does anyone else remember Quisp Cereal? How about OJs?

Englishman in New York would never have been made had Sting not written a song about Crisp.

Hurt is so comfortable as Crisp, that he exceeds even the real Quentin Crisp in charm and clueless vulnerability (such as Crisp’s willingness to respond to every homophobic insult thrown his way). Hurt adds irony to a scene about gay cloning, because in a sense, we prefer Hurt to the original. Hurt truly gives us a sense of Crisp’s purposeful isolationism and how he tried to turn it into a unique form of happiness. In moments such as when Crisp plans his own funeral, Hurt transforms Crisp from a cuddly little old man being all cute and nihilistic, to a harrowing portrayal of a man dealing with his own irrelevance.

An Englishman in New York, distributed by Breaking Glass Pictures, is now on DVD. If you’d like to read more of Adam’s reviews, you can find them on RottenTomatoes.com or at his website, A Regrettable Moment of Sincerity, which can be found at www.regrettablesincerity.com..

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Chris is starting a new training program at Beyond Limits Training. You can track his increasing hotness in the paper.

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interview THE FREEMASONS: IN THEIR ELEMENT

by Joshua Miller White Party Palm Springs is just around the corner and I’ve got some GREAT news for you! UK’s most successful (Grammy Nominated) Remixers, The Freemasons are spinning April 10th @ The Main Event Saturday Night! The Freemasons consists of producers Russell Small and James Wiltshire and have remixed songs for the biggest names in music! “The Freemasons have such a broad, worldwide following and this is something I have always wanted to have happen.” says White Party Founder/Producer Jeffrey Sanker, “I’m thrilled that finally the “stars were all in alignment” and it worked out with everyone’s schedule. It will be a night to remember!” For up to date information on White Party Palm Springs visit www.jeffreysanker.com You’re finally spinning in the U.S! What took you so long? We didn’t want to do it by halves... we wanted everything set up right and to find the right people and parties to play for… The US is not the easiest country to get into these days so we also wanted all the immigration paperwork set up perfectly so we’d never have any problems coming across the pond and we’re really glad we did it this was as now we’re flying...

Also the US DJ’s play for a lot longer than in Europe so we had to go on some self-made Extensive DJ training courses . Russell’s wrist was going limp after 2.5 hours, but now he can keep it up for about 3 weeks Your upcoming White Party Palm Springs will be your first Southern California appearance. What can they expect when they hear you spin live? Its always going to

be uplifting, vocals are very important to us not just from a DJ perspective, but personally and we’ve been lucky enough to work on some awesome songs and we buck against the trend of monophonic dance music and play a lot of music. For parties like this we always prepare something special for the crowd, something unique and this will be no exception - Hopefully we’ll have something new from us to drop. Our first trip to that part of California, perfect!!

How do you both manage juggling DJ gigs world-wide and growing demand for your remix work? Do you multi-task while on the road? We do multitask, technology means that almost anything can be made portable, and it’s quiet exciting getting inspired at a gig then knocking ideas up on laptops the day after. We also have started splitting the work quite a bit for European gigs. I (James) do the studio end of things whilst Russell gigs at the weekends.

In 2008 we were losing Friday and Monday from the studio and Tuesday was quite frankly questionable at times, but now both ends of the work gets covered... We both always try and play together if possible in the US though - It’s just a fantastic new experience for us.

How did you guys meet?

Through a mutual friend, Jason who was the other half of Russell’s precious dance act, “Phats + Small” When I moved to Brighton from London (via Sydney) Russ and I started working on dance stuff almost immediately whilst Jason went off and did his own thing.

You have mixed countless of remixes for high profile names like Whitney Houston, Kylie Minogue and Beyonce. What track was the most fun to remix? Why? The most fun was probably Whitney Houston’s “Million Dollar Bill” we have a very good friend called Scott who reckons he is the UK’s biggest Whitney fan, so the whole atmosphere within our group of chums was excellent during those few weeks of work. Historically I think “Ring the Alarm” by Beyonce was the best to work on - we had the ideas in there very early on and knew they would work, so everyday was not at all stressful, just fun getting the vision finished.

Rumor has is that Techincs will soon discontinue the 1200s. Any thoughts on that? It’s a shame as NOTHING sounds like Vinyl but they have to do it for practical reasons... when they are now only selling a fraction of the units they used to, we just can’t expect them to keep the production line open for sentimental reasons...

Also the vinyl cutting lathes are an endangered species and in the UK the pressing plants are nearly all gone - you can’t have a record deck with no fresh vinyl to feed it.

You spin all over the world for both gay and

straight crowds. Have you noticed any difference between the two crowds? Do you tailor your sets differently when spinning for gay boys as opposed to more mainstream crowds? We can get away with so much more at a gay club in terms of musicality and vocals that we recently realized we are always really excited when playing gay venues, and normally apprehensive when playing straight venues.

The one-note underground styles of dance music that come around every few years are here again in Europe and we’re never sure how any straight venues are positioned until we get there - we are booked at some of these places because we sell records and can draw a crowd even though we might have to radically alter sets to suit the crowd and hardly play any of our own stuff.

In Gay clubs we are quite simply in our element as the records we make or remix are known and really appreciated and it’s a joy to play the things you have worked so hard to get right in the studio to an Audience waving their arms around, also we can play our own stuff back to back in gay clubs and it just feels right. I have never seen a fight in any gay club - I wish the same could be said about the straight boys.

Have you noticed any difference between U.S. vs European or Australian crowds? Apart from the accent? he he... to be honest, not massively whilst playing. You guys and the Aussies have much better tans and better teeth.

Tell us about your process for when you remix a song. How do you approach it musically to give it your distinctive Freemasons sound? It actually changes every single time as we always try to work whatever we do around the vocal and song. For example, all our Beyonce mixes are drastically different from a music perspective, but being the same people working on them, they do have a flavor - I guess different dishes in the same restaurant would be a good analogy. We are also always taking some inspiration from the more underground end of music, be it the drums or production techniques, but most of all, we always try to make sure that chord progressions and basic sound of the mix compliment the original song - that’s what takes the time, but is also the most rewarding part.

What’s next for Freemasons? We’re just about to start working on our own new album - we got carried away working with other people last year so it’s a long overdue start. We are hoping to link up with some great singers, including the amazing Wynter Gordon from NYC who we met last year and really connected with. Studio has just been updated and we’re all set. We’re really excited this year, 2010 rocks already!

For more on The Freemasons visit: http://www.freemasonsmusic.net. White Party Palm Springs Tickets Available at www.jeffreysanker.com

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What do you think they are looking at? We think someone is wearing a white bikini that shouldn’t have and it just got wet.

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We’re sad to hear that Kick Start closed. Were glad Impero opened. We wonder when the Cuppy’s sign will come down.

april 2010

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interview

Heart to “Heartland”: an interview with Owen Pallett

by Gregg Shapiro Photo by Ryan Plfuger Already being hailed as one of the best albums of 2010, Heartland (Domino) by Owen Pallett (formerly Final Fantasy) is deserving of the accolades it has received. As lush and symphonic as it is percussive and poppy, the dozen tracks on Heartland, on which Pallett “revisits the realm of Spectrum” through a cycle of songs about a “young, ultra-violent farmer named Lewis and a supreme deity named Owen,” are fantastic. From the Beach Boys wave of “Lewis Takes Action” to the futuristic soundtrack of “The Great Elsewhere” to the Blue Nile beat of “Lewis Takes Off His Shirt” and the super sexy “Tryst With Mephistopheles,” you probably won’t hear anything else as wondrous as Heartland this year. I spoke with Owen shortly before he embarked on the first leg of his tour.

Gregg Shapiro: Owen, this probably isn’t the first or last time you will be asked this, but can you please say something about why you decided to drop the Final Fantasy moniker in favor of your own name?

Owen Pallett: It was essentially legally motivated. I haven’t run into any problems with it, but problems would arise if I had stayed with it, considering the level of publicity that the label (Domino) was doing. It was advised by my lawyer that this was the time to drop it.

GS: On your new album Heartland, it’s possible to detect the influences of opera and classical music, as well as a sort of Broadway show tunes influence…

OP: You feel that? I hear that a few times, but I’m not at all (laughs) a Broadway guy.

GS: I can definitely hear it. What is involved in the process of incorporating your various influences it into your compositions?

OP: Well, regarding all the things that you just described - classical and operatic - I can’t deny that my music is going to come from that perspective, seeing that I’m working with the symphony as my tool; and because of the very particular characteristics of my voice. But I was really inspired the most for this record by synth-pop. You’ll notice every song on the record is very metronomic. There are very few moments where you actually feel the orchestra is the living, breathing organic instrument that it is in classical music and opera. It’s all very metronomic. All the structures of the songs are much more verse/chorus/verse/chorus (laughs) as opposed to having these developmental sections in between. I was listening to a lot of seventies and early ‘80s synth-pop and realizing how much I love these records. I was also getting into analog synthesis. I have these synthesizers that a couple of gigs I’ve taken on have allowed me to afford. Working with them has been amazing and inspiring.

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GS: Would you say that your classical and operatic influences have anything to do with Heartland and He Poos Clouds being “song cycles”?

OP: I don’t know where that really comes from. I would say that that’s more of a literary influence than anything. With Heartland, the primary influence, conceptually at least, comes from my friend Steven Kado who founded the Blocks Recording Club in Toronto and also has several conceptuallyoriented bands of his own. He’s an incredible influence on my life and everything he does he approaches with a conceptual bent and it’s really seeped into my own work. And also (H.P.) Lovecraft, because I got fascinated with the way that he created these stories that fit into this large thing, which was the Cthulhu mythos. There’s a running string throughout the latter half of Lovecraft’s career. All of his stories are completely independent, concern completely different characters, but have the same sort of representations of horror. It could be something about this beast that lives underground of this alien specter that appears in this farm field or it could be about travelers going to Antarctica. Extremely disparate storylines, but the thing that unites them all is this mythology that typically concerns these same creatures - the Shoggoths or the old ones - and there are all the signifiers that run through the stories. With Heartland, it wasn’t so much that I wanted to create a concept record or a song cycle or any of these things. I wanted to create independent songs that each had these signifiers that alluded to a larger mythology.

GS: So for a concert, do you perform Heartland in its entirety, in order from start to finish, or does being in a club setting allow you to take liberties?

OP: I want Heartland to be very strong as an album, but also, in the live context, to be segmented and presented as pop hits. I hesitate to really describe Heartland as a concept album, although Pitchfork(.com) latched onto that term early on and it stuck.

When you do look historically at concept albums, such as (David Bowie’s) Ziggy Stardust, for example, you can pull “Moonage Daydream” or Starman”…well “Starman”s a really good example because that song is pretty explicitly about what’s going on in the realm of the album. But it makes total sense outside of it.

GS: We talked about influences earlier, and I detected a Brian Wilson/Beach Boys on “Lewis Takes Action” and Van Dyke Parks on “Flare Gun.” Do you count either or both among your influences?

OP: Absolutely! Totally! It’s really interesting to me because music writers throw Brian Wilson around all the time. Whenever they hear layered vocals, they tend to mention Brian Wilson, which is kind of cool, because it does kind of sound like Brian Wilson. But does (the band) Animal Collective really

What’s he thinking about? We think he’s looking a small fish stuck in a tide pool wondering if it will survive while realizing he’s hungry for sushi.

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sound like Brian Wilson? No, it doesn’t at all. It sounds like Animal Collective. But there were some moments on this record where I needed to layer my vocals and I would think about how I wanted to do that. When I was getting ready to sing the record, I think I listened to Pet Sounds a cappella, which is all the vocals from Pet Sounds taken on their own. The thing that’s so striking about it is what a genius vocal arranger Brian Wilson was, and yet what kind of a plain singer he was. It’s been a perennial criticism of my records that I’m not Maria Callas (laughs).

GS: I disagree! I love your voice!

OP: I, myself, am quite fond of it (laughs). Granted, if you are going to make an orchestral record and you have this thin, reedy sounding voice, it is a bit of a tall order. I grew up listening to Robert Wyatt and Van Dyke Parks and Brian Wilson and Harry Nilsson, as well as my really good singers (such as) Annie Lennox. Music takes all kinds, basically (laughs).

GS: I concur! Earlier you mentioned the influence of synth-pop and I have to tell you that I think “Lewis Takes Off His Shirt” sounds like its perfect for Tea Dance in Provincetown in August.

OP: Oh! (laughs) GS: Are there remixes in the works?

OP: Yeah. We’ve only had two come back, so far. But we have been soliciting some remixes.

GS: Is that one of the songs that will be remixed?

OP: Yes, actually I think we have a few people remixing that song.

There are actually so many that I can’t keep track. I don’t want to make a remix album. I wrote a lot more songs for “Heartland” that didn’t make it on the record. But at this point I’ve decided to send them out, with the exception of four others. We were thinking about B-sides or stuff like that.

GS: I hope I’m not reading too much into it, but I think I detected a homoeroticism in lyrics to songs such as “The Great Elsewhere” and “Tryst With Mephistopheles.” Am I correct?

OP: Yes! I tend not to think about what (kind of an effect) gay language is going to have on the ears of the listeners just because I tend not to think about that in my day-to-day life (laughs). I don’t go around giving out explicit details of my sex life. (But) talking about some man being attractive is not something I would ever censor myself from talking about in any situation, even if it’s (in front of) my grandmother.

GS: Good!

OP: I don’t think most gay men would censor themselves in front of their grandmothers in that regard. But it is interesting when the song is written and recorded and you come back to it, and you’re like, “Whoa! This is a pretty gay thing!”

GS: Would you say that being gay influences your work?

OP: I’ve been asked this countless times and I really don’t have a good answer for it. I think that it’s just going to influence it subconsciously. I think there is so much music geared towards actually actively accessing this uniquely gay idea. I think some people flirt with some, so do it wholeheartedly. With me, it’s very subconscious (laughs).

GS: There is a community of gay artists within your musical and creative circle, including Pet Shop Boys and Ed Droste of Grizzly Bear. Do you see a place for yourself in that realm or do you feel outside of it?

OP: It’s interesting. I think the term “gay mafia” gets swung around (laughs). And certainly there are times when I look around a room and I think, “Wow! I’m in this room with a lot of famous gay musicians (laughs). But I don’t think there’s any real clear associations that you can make. There’s really no similarity between the way I’m living my life and the way the Pet Shop Boys are living their lives. We certainly have a mutual appreciation for each other, but I’m not at the stage where I’d ever be photographed on the red carpet with Lady Gaga (laughs). Whereas they probably have, more than once.

Owen is performing at the Wexner Center of the Arts on Tuesday, April 13, @ 9p.

Tickets are $12. For more info: http://www.wexarts.org/pa/index.php?eventid=4477.

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Did you hear that they are working on a new Ghost Busters movie? Who ya gonna call?

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Food is dramatic - Life is delicious.

Episode 262 : My Cupcake Face

by Sissy McButterballs If Mother had told me once, she’d told me a million times; never follow a hippie or a former club kid to a second location. If only I had followed this sage advice, I would never have met Leticia and Orangina.

They were sisters, each with the same tawny hair, joyless expression, and penchant for binge drinking, eating, farting, and then blaming other people for the farts. We’d met during an especially vigorous sexual exploration session in the 90’s, and while I myself confirmed in this session that I was a latent homosexual, I still found them to be absolutely intoxicating in a bitchy, cold, and very New York way.

When they’d called informing me they’d be passing through C-bus on their way from New York to Chicago, I quickly cleared my schedule to see them.

We met at Surly Girl Saloon, one of the many gems in the sizable crown of the lovely and talented Liz Lessner.

The Saloon was done in various shades of maroon, a scorpion motif on the walls, and large gilt chandeliers suspended from the ceiling, the soft lighting creating an overtly sensual mood. At a table at the very front of the restaurant sat Leticia and Orangina, each wearing large black sunglasses and matching mod swing coats in teal. They barely reacted as I kissed each of them on the cheek, though when I was settled, Leticia took a long drag from her e-cigarette and spoke.

cheerfully asked what we might want. The ladies removed their sunglasses in unison, and ordered quickly. Creamed Chicken over Biscuits for Orangina, and Vegetarian Posole Stew for Leticia; each placed their glasses back on their faces as they finished.

Just as I was about to respond, our food arrived. Deciding I was going to show these bitches what fat really was, I grabbed each plate as it came, and using my arms to prevent them from reaching the food, dug in with my face. If the girls were bothered, it didn’t show.

“And I’ll have the Deluxe Veggie Melt, please. And defile that with bacon” I said politely. As the waitress left, another server arrived, carrying the promised Frito concoction. Salty corn chips topped with veggie chili, grilled three-pepper mix, sour cream and an enormous pile of shredded cheddar and Monterey jack cheeses. I was immediately enthralled. Each bite was rapturous, filling my senses with salty, hot, chili-cheesy goodness. The girls didn’t touch the pie.

First, I scarfed the Veggie Melt with it’s fresh avocado, roasted peppers, onions, cheddar and monterey jack, topped with spring mix, cucumbers, roma tomatoes and avocado caesar dressing, all sandwiched in between toasted wheat bread. It was a masterpiece, and I made short work of it, grunting as I went.

“Aren’t you going to eat this?” I asked through a mouthful of corn chips.

Then the Chicken and Biscuits, a delightful treat made of chicken, peas, carrots, celery, roasted corn and onions in a luscious cream sauce ladled over a scoop of poblano mashed potatoes, and two large a savory biscuits.

They both shook their heads no. Orangina spoke “No. Gaga can’t think we’re fat.”

“You’re completely fat, and eating our food,” said Orangina on her monotone, still e-smoking.

“Didn’t one of you order chicken and biscuits?” I asked, shoving more of the chili-cheese-based ambrosia into my mouth.

“Well you’re a bitch,” I said, as finished the biscuits and moved on to the stew, incredibly full, but so angry I didn’t care.

“You’ve gained weight,” said Leticia in response.

Stopping for a moment, I looked at her quizzically.

The stew’s sheer size presented a conundrum, as at this point I had grossly overestimate my ability to eat, and didn’t think a large helping of (albeit) delicious hot liquid would help. Its rich broth was filled with hominy, tomato, onion, spices and tofu, and was served with a jalapeno cheddar biscuit. I feverishly ate as the bitches smoked their e-cigarettes and sat in judgment. Just as I was scooping the last bite into my mouth, the entire restaurant moved its eyes to the door, and breathed a collective sigh.

“What?”

“Hello Lover, we’ve ordered you Frito Pie. You’ll find it to die for.”

I nodded my agreement.

“Did the concierge direct you here, or has the fame of the Surly Girl Saloon reached the great windy city as well?” I asked, ordering a Rogue Dead Guy Ale from the passing waitress.

Orangina frowned at the beer choice, and mouthed the words “he’ll bloat” to her sister, then lowered her sunglasses, her shit-brown eyes peering over them seductively. “Lady Gaga, lover. THE Lady Gaga. The Internet says she’ll be here, and the internet never lies. I swear. To. God.” Orangina swearing to God was like Ike Turner swearing he never hit his wife.

Just as I was about to respond, hoping to express my utter disbelief, the waitress arrived with my beer.

I drank the first gulp of the beautifully crafted beer greedily, and when I had set it down, the waitress

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Almost instantly, Orangina spoke “Weight. You’ve gained some. It’s why we are here. We brought you a meal replacement shake. And we wanted to see Gaga.”

Staring at them in disbelief, I put down the corn chips. I weighed one-hundred seventy-two pounds, approximately a four pound increase from when I’d met these bitches.

“What the hell are you talking about? You ordered me a Frito Pie,” I asked angrily.

It was Lady Gaga. Or something like her. “She” was at least six feet tall, with perfectly quaffed blond hair, a large steel gyroscope-like contraption surrounded her nude-illusion covered body, and her face was obscured by the largest pair of sunglasses I’d ever seen.

“It was the diet equivalent of a death-row meal. We saw your Facespace. Or Myface. Or whatever. You looked tragic. So we came.” Leticia took another puff of her e-cigarette

“Gaga. She looks fierce,” said Orangina, sipping a Shady Lady cocktail made with Captain Morgan’s Tattoo spiced rum topped with pineapple juice and 7up.

“I’ve gained four pounds!”

Every set of eyes were upon “GaGa” (or GuyGuy, I later called her in the company of others) as she walked up very slowly to the end of bar, mere feet from us, and used one hand to move her gyroscope.

When it was moving, she then tipped her glasses

“It shows,” said Orangina, taking a drag from her own e-cigarette.

Why is she wearing snorkling gear? And why is Chad so fat these days?

down, revealing only the tops of her eyes. She spoke loudly and melodically.

“Rah, rah, ah-ah-ah. Roma, toh-matah. Hot lunch, ooh la-la. I want a beef wrap.”

Silence lingered for a moment, and then suddenly the bartender spoke.

“Ma’am, we don’t have a ‘beef wrap’. Can I get you something else?” The eyes of the bartender narrowed, trying to discern if he was talking to the real thing or not.

Gaga shook her head disapprovingly and the spoke again.

“Let’s have some fun, your place is sick, and I want to munch a bunch on something quick. Let’s have some fun, your place is sick, and I want to munch a bunch on something quick. Give me a cupcake, a big cupcake; Do you want cash or check-card fake?; Do you have cupcakes?; I want a cupcake.”

The bartender looked at GuyGuy skeptically, and then said “Yea. We have cupcakes.”

Lady GuyGuy nodded. “I’ll have forty,” she said as she reached into her cleavage and produced a large blue card.

Orangina shook her head slowy. “GaGa is fat. Fat is the new thin. Let’s have forty cupcakes.”

Leticia, still e-smoking, nodded agreement “Yea, let’s do it. Fat is cool. Let’s get fat. And look like men.”

I dropped my fork into my stew, stood up, folded my napkin neatly, and addressed the two sisters.

“You’re too late to the party girls. Too sheik too late.

GuyGuy and I have created fat and you two; well you two will never be big boned enough to pull it off!

From here on out you can… GaGa you want to take this?

Without missing a beat, GaGa turned, grabed me and danced her four boxes of cupcakes out the door singing “stop callin’, stop callin’ he don’t want you two anymore. He left my skinny ass and jeans on the 90s dancefloor. Don’t telephone him eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Stop telephonin’ him!”

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Netowrk is free and fun. Please come. Bring a friend. Make a new one. Get some bizness done!

april 2010

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Perfectly Suited for Spring!

Suits are pounding the pavement once again this season allowing class to take back its rightful place in ready to wear fashion. The suit at one time was the everyday wear of men, and a status symbol of women. With most everyone in one, it was the details and quality that defined the wearer. Over the decades, suits have fallen on and off the streets, but this season it has firmly planted its seams into every wardrobe and has become readily available to you from almost every designer and retailer.

Like a fingerprint, no two styles are the same. Think about your lifestyle, what type of music you listen to, the car you drive, even your career. These details define your style, and while keeping this in mind, can help you when it comes to selecting “The Suit” for this season or any season. The bottom line is, a great suit can make you look and feel like a million bucks. The right suit can close the deal, but the wrong suit can close the door, so let’s figure out your style of suit now, so you can be perfectly suited for spring!

jacket is the most common because it works with all body types (just don’t button the bottom button… Please!); or the three-button jacket, very traditional and flattering on any body shape. When it comes to pockets, you certainly aren’t left without choices. You can choose the Besom pocket, which looks like a slit in the fabric; a flap pocket, most common; and the true sign of class known as the Ticket pocket, the smaller pocket above the Besom or Flap pocket. And finally, last but not least, the vent. You have two options, the center vent allows more movement and is more traditional, where the side vents create a sleeker look and is modern in style.

Just like the jacket, the pant of a suit can make or break the look. You want the line of the pant to follow from your jacket to your shoe. The flat front pant is typically a slimmer fit with a straight leg, and the pleated pant typically is a fuller fit at the waist and has more of a tapered leg. Whether you decide on a cuff or not is completely up to you, but in most cases the cuff is only worn with the traditional style suit.

As I told you in last months column, men’s suiting this upcoming Spring/Summer season is totally Rat Pack Chic, and what makes it so chic are the details. The flat front pant, tailored jacket and the famous skinny tie and tie bar are the details that complete this look. Just because this look is one of the current trends, doesn’t mean it has to be your style. Classic Preppy is back as well, so break out those rugby print ties!

Okay, so we have the suit covered, now on to the shirt. The process for selecting the right fit for you is the same as the jacket. Broad or rounder body shapes would look best in the fuller cut, classic shirt, while the taller or athletic body shapes would be better suited for a tailored or fitted shirt. Stick with a point collar if you have a wider neck and the fabulous spread collar if your neck is on the skinner side. And when it comes to the cuffs, Before you lay down that credit card, first the barrel cuff is the most common; however decide on your fabric. Spring and Summer the French cuff is my favorite because it’s are not fans of a heavy wool, so stick with a just another excuse to add hardware! The cotton or a cotton blend. Cotton suits are not shirt color can be just about whatever your only a breathable garment, but it is also the heart desires, but if color scares you, there is easiest to wear as separates. So if you like nothing wrong with the classic crisp white or the option to mix and match, cotton is the light blue shirt. way to go. Black is not the standard anymore, so step away from the tradition and The way in which you choose to accessorize look for a navy, light gray or khaki suit. Se- your suit is the finishing touch that actually lecting the fabric is the easy part of building will be noticed first. Your choice of tie, your suit, now onto the hard stuff! pocket square and hardware set the overall look of you in your suit. How many times Let’s start with the jacket. Do you prefer a have you complimented someone else on classic, fuller fit, or a slimmer, modern fit? their shirt and tie? Hundreds I’m sure. So That can be answered once you have deter- don’t be afraid to mix bold strips and check mined your body shape. A fuller fit is best if print patterns to get the attention you deyou have broad shoulders or want to hide a serve. couple extra winter pounds. It is a little more relaxed and will give you more room to move. So now you know what you are looking for, A modern fit is best for the tall and skinny or now where will you get it? Just about anyfor the athletic body shapes. It has sharper where! With the suit demanding so much of shoulders and a smaller waist and tends to our attention, everyone has one to offer that be shorter than the fuller fit. Although it is is fitting into every wearer’s budget. From more tailored, the right fit will never leave Banana Republic to our local favorite, Astor you feeling restricted, just re-enforced. & Black, you will have no problem being perfectly suited for spring!

Now that you know what style of jacket you are looking for, let’s talk details! Buttons, Make Every Day a Runway! flaps and vents complete the statement. You Harris is Fashion Consultant/Stylist for Wardrobe can choose a one-button jacket, best for tall Ryan Therapy LLC. Contact him at rharris@wardrobetheraor athletic body shapes; the two-button pyllc.com or more info at www.wardrobetherapyllc.com.

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Every girl crazy about a sharp dressed man.

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Chris tried to run away when he was 6 but a spider stopped him... literally.

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What ever happened to Columbus getting a trolley, no wait, street car system?

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Blue Ridge Mountain Escape

by Aaron Leventhal “Asheville ranks in the top 50 globally for authenticity, stewardship, integrity of place.”

- National Geographic Traveler survey, 2008 Asheville, North Carolina, nestled in a valley along the French Broad River and ringed by the majestic Blue Ridge Mountains, has emerged as one of America’s premier vacation destinations. Its natural beauty, year-round temperate climate, vibrant downtown, dynamic arts scene and awardwinning independent restaurants draw millions of visitors annually to this remarkably diverse community of 75,000 residents. A pleasant seven-hour drive south along Route 23 from Columbus to Asheville takes you along country roads and through pristine mountain passes.

Originally inhabited by the Cherokee and settlement farmers, Asheville became a popular destination in the 19th century as sanitariums sprang up to treat individuals with respiratory ailments seeking the fresh mountain air. Asheville changed forever when George Vanderbilt fell in love with the region and built his 250-room, French-inspired Biltmore Estate, attracting a stampede of socialites from the eastern seaboard. The town boomed into the 1940s and then languished for decades until a spirited band of entrepreneurs, artists and retirees rediscovered Asheville’s unique charms in the 1990s.

The community has blossomed ever since.

Attractions - Dozens of attractions can keep you busy for a week or longer. Asheville Urban Trail, a 1.7-mile self-guided downtown walking tour, passes most of the city’s major landmarks. The Thomas Wolfe Memorial State Historic Site has hourly tours of the famous novelist’s boyhood home. The North Carolina Arboretum features 434 acres of gardens and forest trails. The Basilica of St. Lawrence, an early 20th century masterpiece by Spanish architect Rafael Guastavino has the largest freestanding elliptical dome in the United States.

Western North Carolina Farmers’ Market has dozens of vendors hawking fresh produce, cheeses, raw honey and baked goods. Put aside a day to visit Cherokee to experience an 11,000-year-old civilization by exploring its Oconalufree Indian Village, Museum of the Cherokee Indian and outdoor drama “Unto These Hills.” There are also plenty of restaurants, shops and a Harrah’s Casino in Cherokee. Dozens of outdoor outfitters offer rafting expeditions, zipline canopy tours and canoe, kayak, tube and fly fishing rentals. Primitive hiking trails abound, along with dozens of scenic and challenging golf courses.

Gay Oasis Thrives in Bible Belt During my month-long winter stay in Asheville, my friend Joe Spinelli and his partner Tim Phillips drove down Route 23 for a visit and much-needed long weekend getaway. They discovered an extraordinarily progressive, artistic and entrepreneurial community that is genuinely welcoming and open in the heart of the Bible Belt.

According to Pete Moyle, co-owner of O. Henry’s, North Carolina’s oldest gay bar (www.nataliesmalls.com) as well as LaRue’s Backdoor and Straps, “Asheville is a very gay friendly community. A large number of the downtown businesses are owned and operated by gays.” His clubs, all under one roof at 237 Haywood St., feature drag impersonators, male strippers and a leather scene only on Saturday nights frequented by both gays and straights.

Jeff and Sherrie Davis are a straight couple who purchased Arthur Frayar’s legendary gay nightclub Scandals in 2006 (www.clubscandals.net). Today, Scandals is housed in a large four-story brick building at 11 Grove St. Drag shows are held every weekend, produced by Queens and Kings. Salsa dancing on Fridays and live bands in the lower level boiler room. “Everyone who comes to our clubs feels comfortable knowing they will not be judged or scrutinized here,” says Jeff. In fact, he envisions his clubs as “a window into where the country is headed in the future.

There is no discrimination here of any kind. Nobody is labeled gay or straight.

One’s sexual preferences are personal and bear no relevance here.” outlookcolumbus.com

The Arts - The visual and performing arts flourish in what American Style magazine cited as one of the top 10 small arts destinations in the nation. There are dozens of fine arts and crafts galleries, antique boutiques and gift shops around every corner of downtown and Biltmore Village. Not to be missed is the River Arts District, where once dormant warehouses and factories have been converted into more than 100 galleries and studios, including Odyssey center for ceramic arts, Curve Studio featuring encaustic painter Constance Williams and Wedge Studios with galleries, a brewery and tasting room. Community arts groups – including Asheville’s Community Theatre, Lyric Opera and Symphony Orchestra – fill the calendar year-round with concerts and performances at affordable prices. In the summer, there are outdoor festivals downtown practically every weekend, including Bele Chere in July with four stages of free live music and Goombay in August.

Food and Brew - More than a hundred nearby sustainable family farms, greenhouses and orchards provide fresh, organic fruits and vegetables, natural corn-fed beef and freerange poultry and eggs to tailgate markets and more than a hundred independently owned and operated restaurants in the Asheville area. Many celebrated restaurateurs and chefs have moved here to offer an astonishing variety of cuisines that elevate dining in Asheville to an art form. Among my favorites are Mayfel’s for authentic Louisiana specialties, Mela Indian Restaurant with a daily all-you-can-eat lunch buffet, Doc Chey’s Noodle House for Thai dishes, Laughing Seed Cafe for exotic vegetarian food from around the world and Luella’s Barbecue, for the best ribs in town. For a complete listing of Asheville independent restaurants (AIR), log on to www.AIRasheville.org Recently Asheville was voted “Beer City USA” in an Examiner.com national poll. It has seven craft breweries, many open for tastings.

If You Go - Begin your visit at the Asheville Visitors Center (36 Montford Ave., Exit 4C off I-240), where hospitable staff will provide tons of tourist information. From there, hop on the Asheville Historic Trolley Tour for an informative, 90-minute trip around the city (888.667.3600). Moving Sidewalk Tours also departs from the Center for a two-hour downtown tour on Segway i21’s. I stayed at Asheville Vacation Villas (800.733.3211) in one of its 30 furnished cabins in a wooded area with access to Crowne Plaza Resort’s outdoor swimming pool, golf course, tennis courts, fitness center, restaurant and bar. Also, Grey Beard Realty (888.228.8008) manages more than 200 rental locations in the area.

Other popular gay clubs include Hairspray, a lesbian favorite (www.clubhairspray.com) with a ‘60s ambiance offering DJs, karaoke, live bands and drag shows; Smokey’s After Dark, a bar open daily after 4 p.m.; and Firestorm Café and Books (www.firestormcafe.com) noted for cultural offerings from films and live bands to readings and a variety of performances. Dozens of other gayfriendly entertainment venues include MoDaddy’s Bar & Grille, the Grey Eagle, Tressa’s Downtown Jazz Blues and the Orange Peel, recently voted the best concert venue in the U.S. by Rolling Stone.

1891 Cedar Crest Victorian Inn (www.cedarcrestinn.com) is owned and operated by innkeepers Bruce Mazzola and his Brazilian partner Marcio Santos. They purchased the inn in 2007, moving from Ft. Myers, where they owned and managed a hotel. This exquisite historical gem is perched on a hilltop on four acres of land across from the entrance of the Biltmore Estate. The inn’s 17 rooms include a carriage house and guest cottage and are all individually furnished with period antiques. Amenities include a three-course gourmet breakfast, wireless Internet, library and croquet court. For information and reservations, contact Mallory at 800.252.0310.

Win a Vacation Package to Asheville, NC! To enter the prize drawing, log on to: www.highstreetmoneysavers.com/nc. For more information: Contact the Asheville Convention & Visitors Bureau at www.ExploreAsheville.com or 800-257.1300. Columbus-based travel writer Aaron Leventhal is publisher of High Street Neighborhoods, www.HighStreetMoneySavers.com. Photos

by Dani Leventhal.

You can win a trip to Asheville! See above.

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And I think it’s gonna be a long long time, Till touch down brings me round again to find, I’m not the man they think I am at home, Oh no no no! I’m a rocket man.

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by Dan Savage I’m a 23-year-old bi dude seeing a guy who is intelligent, sweet, attractive - the works. We’ve been together for six weeks. The problem is, after our first night together, I lost sexual interest in him. When I do get horny - which is rare at the moment due to work pressures - I prefer to beat off alone, because I can fantasize about some sort of transgression or other when I do it, e.g., having sex where I’m at risk of being discovered, rape fantasies, incest scenarios.

Obviously, at some point I began associating “sexy” with “dangerous” and maybe “wrong.”

I want a serious relationship, but I’m tired of pretending and failing in bed because I’m just not into the sex. And, damnit, he’s cute and I should be able to get it up! What do I need to do?

Two Guys, One Erection Here’s an idea, TGOE: risk having the sex that turns you on - sexy, dangerous, and wrong - with this guy who turns you on. Fuck him in public, fuck him where you might be discovered, fuck him by simulated force. And whether you’re fucking at home or in public, TGOE, you’re free to fantasize that your no-relation boyfriend is your brother/nephew/uncle - or sister/niece/aunt - if that’s what it takes to get you off. (Whether it would be wise to tell him that you’re entertaining incest fantasies while you’re fucking him is another matter.)

And when you’re not having dangerous and/or wrong sex, TGOE, you can talk - talk dirty - about all the dangerous and/or wrong sex you’ve had with him already and plan to have with him in the future. Even if you’re fucking around under the covers at home with the door shut and the lights off, TGOE, you can tell him about how next time outlookcolumbus.com

you’re going to fuck him so hard in a public place that the police are going to come running when they hear him scream because you’re both so dangerous and wrong and blah blah dirty talk blah.

But you’ll never get to a “two guys, two erections” place, TGOE, if you don’t risk sharing your real sexual fantasies and interests with this guy.

Given a choice between hot sex with his boyfriend - which requires incorporating the boyfriend’s kinks - or boring sex that leaves you feeling unsatisfied and him feeling rejected, and eventually leads to the demise of this relationship, your boyfriend is likelier to choose hot sex.

The basics of my life: I’m male, straight, in my mid-20s; I have a twin sister and have been with my girlfriend for three years. I want to break up with my girlfriend for a variety of reasons. I have begun the “it’s not working for me anymore” conversation four times. But each time I do, she brings up different sexual fantasies I have confided in her during our relationship. I believe the implication is that if I break up with her, she’ll tell people about my fantasies - one in particular.

AND THAT CANNOT HAPPEN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!

The fantasy I am most worried about her revealing is incestuous in nature. When I was about 15, I - on occasion - used mental images of my sister to get off. I never had any romantic or sexual feelings toward her in real life - I was never attracted to her when she was physically present - and once I started sleeping with real girls, my fantasies about my sister ceased. One time, my girlfriend and I got stoned and discussed our most outrageous sexual fantasies; our relationship was different then, more trusting, and I told her about this stuff. I want out of

the relationship, but I am terrified of what would happen if she told people, especially my sister. How can I exit this relationship, and how can I contain the damage if she decides to tell people my secret? And is it fucked up that I used to masturbate to thoughts about my twin?

Freaking Fucked Or Fucking Freak?

I wish my boyfriend were as easy to manipulate as you seem to be - Jesus, the shit I could get away with.

Anyway, dumbfuck, unless you put your most outrageous sexual fantasies in writing - and hopefully you didn’t - you’re not the one in real danger here. Your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend is. Here’s what you do: Spend a week in front of a mirror perfecting a look of stunned incredulity, and then go break things off with your girlfriend. Make sure the actual split is big and messy and public. If she attempts to retaliate by telling people about your no-longer-operative sexual fantasies, FFOFF, you slap that looked of stunned incredulity on your face and say, “I knew we had a bad breakup, but, my God, what kind of sick piece of shit makes up something like that?”

Then just for the hell of it, FFOFF, confide in one or two friends that you’re not surprised your ex went there - that she tried to drag your sister into this because she was always pressuring you about having a three-way with your sister, and that was one of the reasons you dumped her.

And yeah, FFOFF, masturbating to thoughts of a sibling is a little fucked-up. But it’s not uncommon for teenagers to fantasize - and, in some disturbing instances, to actualize - about their siblings. Sex can seem scary and new, while our siblings seem safe and familiar. For most people, those early and inappropriate fantasies quickly subside, as they did for you, and most people

They are just friends. See page 18 for details.

have the good sense to stuff ’em down the memory hole.

My boyfriend and I have been together for six months. He’s 23 and I’m 22. He’s a virgin and I’m not. I’ve been very slow and patient about sex, and he’s responded really well. I’m GGG, and he’s gotten really good about taking initiative and suggesting things. We’ve done all the basic sex-without-actual-intercourse things outercourse, fingering, oral - and we’re both very satisfied with our “not sex” life. Lately, the subject of anal intercourse has come up. I’ve never done it, but I am turned on by the idea, and he’s definitely up for it. What’s the problem then? The idea of our first real sex being anal bothers me. He pleases me, and his reasons for not having vaginal sex when we do so much else are at least somewhat logical (we’re both paranoid about pregnancy, even though I’m on birth control and we’d use condoms). But I worry that by having anal sex, I’ll delay the sex that I really want! Plus, I worry that by having exclusively anal sex now, he won’t be as turned on by the regular kind later.

Stick It In Me Already If he’s not up for vaginal intercourse for religious and/or ridiculous reasons, SIIMA, that’s his call. If you’re not up for anal sex for whatever reason, that’s your call. He should support your decision, SIIMA, just as you’ve supported his.

And for the record: Neither of you are virgins. You have a little virgin territory left to explore - your vagina, your butt, his butt - but you’re both sexually active nonvirgins, and have been for months.

Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net.

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by Jack Fertig

e i l Ju

by Chris Hayes

Friend of the gay and the Columbus park system, this month’s local celebrity is Julie Hallan. Hot, sassy and smart, Jukie (as she is called in her inner circles) has recently been hired as the Volunteer Coordinator for Friends of Goodale Park - everyone’s favorite cult that cleans up, nurtures and supports Victorian Villages greatest asset. Holding a rare Friends paid position, Hallan is in charge of giving the organization and its volunteers a more structured system to better serve the park and its patrons.

“The park’s popularity has grown so much,” Julie explains, “that we need a better organized effort to keep up with maintained and prepping for major festivals. The wear and tear on the park is tremendous. We need volunteers for clean-up days, spring plantings, Earth Day, prep for ComFest & Pride, as well as Music in the Park. We’ll take any hours you can give us!”

With a pitch like that and a smile to match, it’s hard to say no to Juk-a-ba-luka, which is exactly why she’s perfect for this job.

Well, that and her experience volunteering with Red Cross after Katrina. You can see if her charms work on you at Gallery Hop, where she will be signing people up to help and promoting all the wonders that are Goodale. I dare you to try and say no.

And though the position is new, you probably already know Jules from being an active user of the park. She spends countless hours there with her German Sheppard Max, her roommate the home-renovating genius supermo Josh Wood and dog Heddy, and the SoNo’s most talked about NoMo, Brian, and his two labs. Hallan’s also one of my fequent sidekicks as she’s a personal friend, the sister of my best friend Marcie and a tried and true member of the Irish Pirates - the lassie can throw down a pint of Guinness with the best ‘em!

But Jukie doesn’t just plant herself in the park or on a shamrock covered barstool, this Springfield native is working on a double major of Russian and Spanish with a minor in Linguistics at The Ohio State University - Go Bucks!, which won’t help her communicate with the foliage, but could advance her in her quest to take over the world. The 38 year old, thinks her newfound celeb status is definitely a step in the right direction. Buy her a Belvedere tonic and lime to get on her good side now, before all the power goes to her head! Oh yeah, and volunteer, too!

For more info about volunteering, as well as, contacting Julie visit The Friends of Goodale park website: http://friendsofgoodalepark.org/sustain.asp.

“Go back to basics, Gemini!”

Saturn backing into Virgo reminds us to clean up old business before starting new relationships. Aspecting Uranus and Neptune, she’ll dig up complications that must be dealt with to make progress.

Go slowly and carefully. You have until late July to get it right.

problems with your partner, or a trusted friend or counselor, is necessary even if it’s aggravating. A mild exercise program (swimming?) and meditation help.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): It seems you can’t catch a break, so make one for yourself. Take time off to meditate and play. Settle your nerves and charge up your batARIES (March 20 – April 19): teries. You need this. In the Recalculate the equation of long run it’s the responsible any partnership that’s troubling thing to do! you. Can or should it be saved?

Strong instincts and inspiration SCORPIO (October 23 – Nocould lead you astray, but vember 21): Take a hard look probably contain a kernel of at your future and get ready to truth. Friends can help you clear out the clutter in your reconcile those with reality. life. Mending fences could mean quitting some friendships TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): and groups, but offers you a Feeling stuck at work can push chance to make it clean and you back to re-examine your amicable. goals. Where do you feel most creative, and what do you reSAGITTARIUS (November 22 – ally have to offer? If profesDecember 20): Clean up any sional goals feel nebulous, loose ends and nasty rumors frame the question in terms of affecting your reputation. Helpyour social ideals. ful inspiration comes from your home and family. Advice from GEMINI (May 21- June 20): siblings and neighbors can While your goals and ideals seem confusing, but don’t take seem to be in flux, go back to it too literally and it could basics. The most relevant prove valuable. questions about reaching out to the world around you are CAPRICORN (December 21 – taught early in life. Be nice, January 19): Coming toward a share and try to learn. Commu- peak of your professional repnity service can also help clear utation, now is the time to get your head. the word out about your achievements and services.

CANCER (June 21- July 22): Dis- Typos and snafus lie in wait. Be cuss longstanding family isvery attentive to those details! sues with siblings, or community problems with AQUARIUS (January 20 – Februneighbors. Things probably ary 18): You’re coming into a aren’t as dark and complicated phase of your life where your as they feel. New perspectives ideas and your mind will be will help if you’re willing to be much challenged. Review what very open-minded. you believe and why. Confusion about who you are and what’s LEO (July 23 – August 22): New important can be a healthy ideas and skills can help get stage of growth. you out of financial trouble, but first understand how and why PISCES (February 19 – March you got into that trouble. You 19): Feeling unsure about sex won’t get that on your own. and relationships can be a Your partner or an advisor can good step toward greater help you figure it out. awareness. OK, it’s uncomfortable now. Meditation and other VIRGO (August 23 – September quiet secluded retreats – some 22): Taking the weight of the with your love, some without – world on your shoulders is bad will ease the exploration. for your health. Discussing Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977 teaches at the International Academy of Astrology www.astrocollege.com. He can be reached for personal or business consultations at www.starjack.com,

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Anyone know which signs are most love-matchy with Capricorn? Hayes is just curious.

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If we lose the Blue Jackets and there isn’t a casino down there, what will happen to the Arena District? Discuss.

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