2010-08-01 outlook columbus

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outlook aug 2010 • vol 15 issue 3

inside: NAGAAA Softball world Series J Gumbo’s Chad McCoury Travel czar Amir Eylon Agentinians can wed Lesbian Math being a gaysogynist Kari Kerning pinup agenda staycations Marcus morris returns & Local celebrity Mel

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Do people really play softball without their shirts and in jeans?

outlookcolumbus.com

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by Michael Daniels, Co Publisher It’s me again. Chris is cloistered in his office behind piles of notes and other things I dare not disclose, putting the finishing touches on the last of the pages and getting this thing off to be printed, while I’m covering writing this column.

Which brings me to the point. Teamwork. Doing things together.

Like playing softball, and traveling.

In this issue, we bring you the low down on the guys who’ll be pitching and catching when a few thousand gay softball players convene on our City later this month. We also talk about the players themselves. We’ll tell you where you can watch the games, and there are a ton of ads and events letting you know where you can find a jock, or an athletic supporter, after the diamonds have gone dark.

We also have an interview with Ohio’s Director of Tourism, columns and features about traveling close to home and far away. How to get away from it all, or get away from the getting away. We have, however, refrained from detailing what to do if you are about to travel, but have a panic attack and end up curled in a little ball and crying at CMH. You’ll have to ask us personally for that story. We have a great therapist – and she earns her keep, trust me.

other do – they pitch in and take on tasks for each other, regardless of circumstances. And it’s what the GLBT community once again needs to do as we approach November and the elections.

You can’t get more than three gays in a room without having five opinions, a pair of ex-lovers, and at least some crispy snarky commentary. Now imagine the Short North. Boggles the mind, doesn’t it? Now expand to the entire Columbus metro region. Your head hurt yet? So long, and thanks for all the fish?

ordinances are enacted and repeal efforts fail. I’m even willing to tempt Karma and allow us to be slightly Machiavellian to achieve these goals – I don’t care who called whom a whatever, or if you like the hosts of the event, or if you hate shrimp, or if you think the candidate’s dog is ugly. Write a check. Make a phone call. Canvas a neighborhood. Recruit a friend. Vote.

Move equality forward.

They’ll be plenty of time for us to knock back our bitchitinis and go back to dissing one another after November.

Yet the asymptote of this exponential curve of cattiness always has been, should be, and must be, the community at large. We must pull together to elect progressive, equality-minded officials and to make certain that non-discrimination policies and

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you are here

24

open kimono

39

transpicuous

56

bookmark

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snapshot

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general gayety

40

complete the circuit

56

deep inside hollywood

9

hey!

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truth wins out

43 paper rox scissors

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23 frames per second

10

q-munity: local

30 earthopolis

44 super mario world

62 fashion forward

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q-munity: national

33

insightout

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feature: gay games

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food drama!

Masculinity by Intense - 2oz

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q-munity: nagaaa softball world series

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not that kind of girl

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feature: s africa

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fine fettle

Intrigue the senses, decidedly masculine. Introducing a new male-to-male pheromone fragrance.

Because a man should smell like a man.

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poli-sigh

35 map

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feature: staycation

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savage love

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oh dem gays

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pin-up calendar

53

creative class

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local celebrity

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small pond

38

about town

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music is the answer

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astro forecast

And there’s one more thing that’s on our minds that goes along with teamwork. It’s called community. It’s called family. It’s called tribe.

It’s about having one another’s backs – covering each other’s asses, as it were. That’s what people who care about one an-

outlook: giveaway

Visit www.outlookcolumbus.com to enter for a chance to win.

outlook columbus is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. the first day of each month throughout Ohio. outlook columbus is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than 5 copies of any issue outlook columbus with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted.

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Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2010 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

Want to be more desirable? Enter to win Masculinity by Intense male-to-male pheromone fragrance.

aug 2010

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#) LAUNCH PARTY JULY 01, 2010

LAUNCH PARTY JULY 01, 2010

LAUNCH PARTY JULY 01, 2010

My boyfriend is fierce!

Who’s the cute boy with the truffle shuffle dude?

Tip Freeta or feel the wrath!

LAUNCH PARTY JULY 01, 2010

LAUNCH PARTY JULY 01, 2010

LAUNCH PARTY JULY 01, 2010

If only I had some Country Time lemonade.

Look who else is enjoying the $4 Belvederes!

The future of distro... or is that disco?

Where’s waldo?

GOODALE PARK CLEANUP JULY 10, 2010

GOODALE PARK CLEANUP JULY 10, 2010

GOODALE PARK CLEANUP JULY 10, 2010

GOODALE PARK CLEANUP JULY 10, 2010

Weeding....

Still Weeding...

Helping out One butt at a time.

Tree moving ground repair

GOODALE PARK CLEANUP JULY 10, 2010

GOODALE PARK CLEANUP JULY 10, 2010

GOODALE PARK CLEANUP JULY 10, 2010

GOODALE PARK CLEANUP JULY 10, 2010

Alot of weeding.

A duck enjoying a well manicured pond

Mac taking full advantage of the $4 Belvederes.

LAUNCH PARTY JULY 01, 2010

Proud of the tree moving operation

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aug 2010

Organizing the tools of the trade.

You cand always see more photos on our facebook fan page outlook: columbus! (the colon is necessary)

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You can purchase tickets in our reserved section ahead of time at http://www.gaysoftballworldseries.co. Click on ‘purchase tickets’.

aug 2010

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#) STRICKLAND FUNDRAISER JULY 14, 2010

STRICKLAND FUNDRAISER JULY 14, 2010

STRICKLAND FUNDRAISER JULY 14, 2010

Remember when you were in love?

Does anyone know where to get some good vodka?

The host and the gentleman.

STRICKLAND FUNDRAISER JULY 14, 2010

STRICKLAND FUNDRAISER JULY 14, 2010

STRICKLAND FUNDRAISER JULY 14, 2010

We love democrats!

Who’s that cute Jay Dascenzo over there?

The Governor with the lady Potter Lewis

They seem happy, but really they’re sweatin’ their balls off.

NETWORK COLUMBUS JULY 14, 2010

NETWORK COLUMBUS JULY 14, 2010

NETWORK COLUMBUS JULY 14, 2010

NETWORK COLUMBUS JULY 14, 2010

The New Three’s Company

Which beard is the real one?

Off the shoulder sass, that’s how you net work people!

‘And then I told Beyonce to back off my style...’

NETWORK COLUMBUS JULY 14, 2010

NETWORK COLUMBUS JULY 14, 2010

NETWORK COLUMBUS JULY 14, 2010

NETWORK COLUMBUS JULY 14, 2010

Dave picks up another hottie with the line “Hey, do you like free coffee?”

This picture would be perfect if there was a wicker chair behind her.

Elliot and his mom!

We love moms!

STRICKLAND FUNDRAISER JULY 14, 2010

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aug 2010

What’s this? A brainsucker.

What’s it doing? Starving.

Welcome to town, Benecia!

Network Columbus is a free monthly networking event held at different locations around town. Come check it out. More info: www.networkcolumbus.com.

outlookcolumbus.com

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You still have to douche before the water park.

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Thank You Letter to HHS Secretary Sebelius for HIV Prevention Funding

ing waiting lists, reducing formularies, and other strategies. In Ohio, once considered a “model state” in terms of the stability and reliability of our ADAP program, we have, since last week, taken drastic steps to address a projected $20 million shortfall - instituting a waiting list, imposing new restrictions on eligibility, and reducing or eliminating “non-core” services.

Those steps may not be enough; further action may be required before the end of the program Dear Secretary Sebelius: year. (See the Cleveland Plain Dealer, July 5: http://www.cleveland.com/healthfit/index.ssf/2010/07/more_than_1000_hivaids_patient.html, Thank you so much for your commitment to fighting HIV/AIDS. The 150 organizations who have and WKYC Television, July 12: signed this letter (see below) want to say how much we appreciate the $30.4 million for HIV http://www.wkyc.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=139689&catid=7.) prevention that is part of the Prevention and Wellness Fund.

The budget situation is dire. And the human impact is devastating. We cannot understate the As you review the best way to use these funds, we ask that you consider the following: current reality: the decisions we are now making, as a state and a country, will result in more suffering, and increased morbidity and mortality, for people with HIV/AIDS. As stopgap measThe money should follow the new National HIV/AIDS Strategy; ures, the decisions may have been necessary in the short term. For any longer period, they It needs to be granted immediately (there is so much need); and are untenable and inhumane. A failure to act now will result in 1) rising medical costs, due to poorly treated HIV; 2) increased infection rates, since inadequately treated HIV infection inWe hope you will follow our previous request to support CDC directly funded community-based creases the likelihood of transmission; and 3) more suffering and death for individuals and organizations (CBOs) as well as local and state health departments. During the previous adtheir families. ministration, HIV testing became the primary modality for HIV prevention. With this new money and a new national HIV/AIDS strategy, we hope you will consider additional options. Now is not We therefore urge immediate action on several fronts. the time to play it safe.

Congress must take immediate action to appropriate additional funds to be earmarked for You have the opportunity to support programs targeting those communities most impacted by state ADAP programs. The proposed Senate bill (S.3401) to allocate $126 million in unobligated HIV/AIDS. Let’s do more then just test them. Imagine what could happen if you supported those stimulus funds is a necessary start, but will only prevent a worsening of the immediate crisis; organizations that speak directly to women, transgender women, gay men and men who have it will not solve the deeper financing deficits. The House needs to act as well. The recent prosex with men, particularly within communities of color. posal by the Obama administration to allocate an additional $25 million for ADAP programs is entirely unacceptable; even the proposed allocation of $126 million in the Senate bill is insuffiThank you for your support and consideration of our request on how to distribute the HIV/AIDS cient. money in the Prevention and Wellness Fund. We are eager to discuss this challenge or any other HIV/AIDS issue. Please contact Paul Kawata (pkawata@nmac.org) to schedule a meet- Ohio must find funds to help fill the state-level gap. The budget solution crafted last week ing. “robs Peter to pay Paul” in key areas, and leaves Ohio vulnerable to deeper ADAP budget crises at the end of the program year if current projections prove inaccurate. While we are Sincerely, fully aware that Ohio is facing its own budget crisis, we do not accept the assertion that “no money is available” when lives are at stake.

Miami Valley Positives for Positives, Dayton, OH; A.A.F.I at Calvary Baptist Church, Salt Lake City, UT; The ACCESS Network, Inc., Ridgeland, SC; Access to Racial and Cultural Health InstiAnd finally, we call for a full analysis of how Ohio’s ADAP program transitioned from “stable” to tute, Inc., St. Croix, USVI and Washington DC; Action for Boston Community Development, “critical” so quickly, and what can be done to prevent such a sequence of events in the fuBoston. MA, etc.... ture. In particular, we call for close monitoring and public reporting of program utilization and expenditures, and rapid convening of stakeholder decision-makers if budget or utilization proEditor’s Note: The above letter was signed by nearly 100 concerned parties from all over the jections prove incorrect. We also call for broad consumer input on changes that have taken United States, ranging from public health centers to AIDS Task Forces and community organi- place, and input on the “next steps” in budget containment that will need to take place if forezations. Write to Scretary Sebelius at the address above to make your voice heard. casts are inaccurate. To accomplish this third set of objectives, we ask that 1) the public sector recognize its responsibility for community accountability and reporting, and 2) the consumer/stakeholder community recognize that state government needs resources—staff and funding—in order to carry out those monitoring and reporting responsibilities.

Statement from the AIDS Taskforce of Greater Cleveland, on the State of Ohio / National AIDS Drug Assistance Program (ADAP) Crisis

Over the last several months it has become painfully clear that AIDS Drug Assistance Programs (ADAPs) are in fiscal crisis, and that demand for critical services cannot be met. More recently, we have seen a growing list of states take radical steps to contain spending - initiat-

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aug 2010

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The AIDS Taskforce of Greater Cleveland will continue to monitor events as they unfold, and take advocacy action as needed. Now, in the era of dramatically improved medical prospects for people living with HIV/AIDS, we cannot stand by and watch those prospects fade due to a failure to commit the needed resources.

Earl Pike, CEO AIDS Taskforce of Greater Cleveland

Weems, Adam Lippe, Michael Daniels, INTERNS Chris Hayes, Jon Dunn, Tara McKenzie Al- Dominic Presutto, Kate Chin, Mackenzie lison, Phillecia Cochran, Robert TrautWorrall, Mona Hauenstein, Gardner Dunn man, Chris Hayes CONTRIBUTING WRITERS CYBERSPACE Marcus Morris, Leslie Robinson, Ted Rall, CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS http://www.outlookcolumbus.com Mickey Rox, Mario Pinardi, Erica Post, Robert Trautman, Dominic Presutto, http://www.outlookmedia.com Collin Burton, Wayne Besen, Regina Gardner Dunn, Phillecia Cochran, http://www.networkcolumbus.com Sewell, Gregg Shapiro, Romeo San ViAlex333 (Cover Image) http://twitter.com/outlookcolumbus cente, Jack Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Dan facebook @ outlook: columbus Savage, Ryan Harris, Mette Bach, Mickey EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Phillecia Cochran pcochran@outlookmdia.com

We love to hear from our readers. Please write us at editor@outlookmedia.com!

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Chris can’t wait to get on the lazy river ride at Zoombezi Bay. Floating around with a cocktail is one of his favorite things.

aug 2010

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Equality Ohio’s Director of Programs and Outreach Goes on Leave for ONE Bowling Green Campaign

Transgender Advocacy Groups, Including TransOhio, Organize on a National Level

Kim Welter, Director of Programs and Outreach at Equality Ohio, will take a leave of absence. Welter is set to join the ONE Bowling Green campaign as the Campaign Manager. ONE Bowling Green is a grassroots campaign that has been organized to educate voters about the importance of voting this November as a means to protect the Bowling Green Non-Discrimination Ordinances.

TransOhio is announcing the first meeting of the newly formed advisory board for a new coalition of transgender advocacy organizations, initially being called the National Coalition of State-Level Transgender Organizations. TransOhio’s Founder & Chair, Shane Morgan, is a founding member of this newly formed national collaboration. The coalition will bring together state and city-based transgender-led advocacy organizations for the purpose of networking, organizing, sharing resources, and building grassroots advocacy.

On August 17, 2009, Bowling Green’s City Council passed two ordinances to expand protections against discrimination to more than what is covered by federal and state civil rights laws. One ordinance passed unanimously, while the other passed in a 6 to 1 landslide to expand protections to include: gender, gender expression, gender identity, pregnancy, sexual orientation, creed, military status, veteran status, marital status, physical characteristics, HIV status, and genetic information. Similar laws are already in place in several cities throughout Ohio including Athens, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Cleveland Heights, Columbus, and Toledo.

With these ordinances in practice, those with protected characteristics would not be subject to discrimination in the areas of employment, public education, public accommodations, housing, and banking. Currently, federal and state laws do not include banking and only recognize race, color, religion, national origin, disability, age, and sex as protected characteristics.

Following the passage of the ordinances, an opposition group successfully filed petitions to place both ordinances on the November 2, 2010 ballot for a repeal vote.

ONE Bowling Green hopes to educate voters before the November vote, by asking the community to get involved. ONE Bowling Green is asking its supporters to sign up for email updates, volunteer, hold house parties, and tell friends about the campaign.

10 August 2010

The meeting, which was funded by the Gill Foundation, took place in Memphis, TN on the weekend of July 9-11. This national meeting consisted of representatives from the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition, the Transgender Civil Rights Project of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the Transgender Law Center, the Tennessee Transgender Political Coalition, the Transgender Education Network of Texas, the DC Trans Coalition, and TransOhio.

During this meeting the advisory board defined the mission, crafted a vision statement, and outlined plans for the first year. One of the overall goals of the coalition is to facilitate more open communication amongst state and city based transgender advocacy groups in order to provide additional opportunities for sharing of strategies, policies, and best practices. The hope is that independent organizations can benefit collectively from each other’s work in advancing the transgender movement in the United States.

The advisory board chose Memphis as their meeting location in order to bring continued media attention to the unacceptable and dangerous climate that transgender Tennesseans are facing. Since 2000, there have been ten recorded murders of transgender individuals in Tennessee. Four of those occurred in Memphis.

Of her new position, Welter said, “I am thrilled to get working on this campaign. Bowling Green is the only city in the country that will have an anti-

gay referendum on the ballot this fall. This success of this campaign is crucial to forwarding equality in Ohio and educating Ohio voters on the importance of non-discrimination protections for all Ohioans.”

Equality Ohio’s Executive Director Sue Doerfer said, “Equality Ohio is very proud of Kim. Although we will miss her at Equality Ohio, ONE Bowling Green could not be getting a better campaign manager.”

More information about the campaign, including housing and employment discrimination statistics specifically regarding the LGBT community, can be found at www.onebowlinggreen.org.

Friends of Goodale Park Need Help Keeping It Clean!

Summer 2010 is flying by, but there is still time for you to do something great for your park! The next Friends of Goodale Park Volunteer Work Day is Saturday, August 7th, 9a - 12p. Can you help?

There a plenty of things to do to make the park more beautiful such as removing fallen tree branches from recent storms, weeding garden beds around the pond and throughout the park, picking up litter in playground areas, picnic shelter, and along Goodale St, sweeping the tennis courts, and much, much more.

Following the August 7th workday, volunteers will be provided brunch by the great owners and staff of Union Cafe. In order to accommodate everyone, we are asking that all volunteers who plan to attend this workday send an email to Julie Hallan (juliehallan@friendsofgoodalepark.org) to RSVP. Please send your RSVP as soon as possible so that the staff at Union Cafe can be properly notified.

In case you are unable to volunteer August 7th, we still have two scheduled Volunteer Work Days left: Sat, Sep 11, 9a - 12p (Patriot Day) and Sat, Nov 13, 9a - 12p (Put the Beds to Bed Day)

Wonderland Receives Historic Preservation Status The future home of Wonderland, and former home of the Wonder Bread factory, is among 13 recipients of the 2010 Ohio Historic Preservation Tax Credit. The Wonder Bread facility is the only applicant from the City of Columbus to receive the credit, administered by the Ohio Department of Development (ODD) as part of the Ohio Bipartisan Job Stimulus Plan.

The program awards tax credits for the rehabilitation of historic buildings throughout the state.

It will reimburse up to 25 percent, or $597,000, of rehab expenditures that qualify for the credit at 697 N 4th St. Wonderland will be a building dedicated to artists’ studios, retail, restaurants and more. It will be a hub for local artists of all mediums (visual and performing) to meet and collaborate. It is ultimately designed to make both an economic and creative impact on the community.

CD101’s Deejay and Programming Director ‘Andyman’ Passes Away John Andrew ‘Andyman’ Davis died suddenly while on vacation with his family in July. He could be heard every afternoon for ‘The Five Spot,’ CD101’s program that aired during what was, for many people, the drive home from work.

Thousands heard his voice every day, and he was deeply devoted to the community he worked in.

The ‘Andyman-a-thon’ was a charity drive on CD101 he started, during which Andyman was on air for 48 hours without a break. He is also remembered for opening Andyman’s Treehouse (now just The Treehouse), a music venue in Grandview.

CD101 hired him as a deejay in 1991, and Andyman later became the programming director in 1998. On numerous occasions, he was voted Columbus’ favorite deejay.

All of the Volunteer Work Days in Goodale Park are listed in “Events Calendar” at www.friendsofgoodalepark.org.

I wonder wonder who, who wrote the book of love.

outlookcolumbus.com

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Michael sits as the ‘white gay guy’ on the Hispanic Chamber. We need more diversity on all our boards in town. Join one today.

aug 2010

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Respect Awards Honor Modern Family, Out & Equal The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) will honor ABC’s hit show Modern Family at the Respect Awards in Los Angeles, presented by Centropolis Entertainment, on October 8. The show, which received 14 Emmy nominations, is being honored for its slice-oflife portrayal of a family headed by a gay couple.

“GLSEN is honored to be the first national LGBT organization to recognize ABC’s Modern Family at our Respect Awards – Los Angeles,” GLSEN Executive Director Eliza Byard said. “As a lesbian mother of two, I am grateful to see a show like Modern Family offer an honest and often hilarious look at family experiences frequently overlooked or ignored in Primetime. From its positive portrayal of gay parents to its handling of school bullying, Modern Family provides an invaluable window into what family life is like for millions of American youth.”

The Respect Awards honor distinguished individuals and organizations who help ensure the safety of American schools for all students, no matter what their orientation or gender expression may be. Even everyday, pop culture things like a primetime television show can promote safer schools. By presenting the mundane side of two gay fathers raising a child, it becomes a little less taboo.

Out & Equal Workplace Advocates will also be honored at the awards, in recognition of their relentless pursuit of equality in the workplace.

Workshops and seminars run by Out & Equal for human resources professionals, resource groups and individuals address equal policies and benefits for employees, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.

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Gaydar – New for iPhone

character, which she explained must deal with school bullying.

ACME AtronOmatic, a software development company, has just released the Bandana app for iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad. The application utilizes the internal Bluetooth radio to send a signal to other users with the app activated within 100 feet. Because Bandana doesn’t use an Internet connection, the gaydar will work in area with no wireless or reception (ie: the subway).

Todosey went on to say, “The writing is good.

They really go there with that kind of stuff and I think that this character can really speak for anybody who is outcast or bullied or transgender or anything like that.” She also expressed that she hopes fans like Adam.

“What gay man hasn’t at one time thought, ‘Wow, wouldn’t it be great if there was some kind of gaydar detector that would tell you if someone was gay or not’,” says Oscar Flemming, lead developer at ACME AtronOmatic. “With this app in your pocket, you can have exactly that.”

Like most social networking utilities, your profile will have a photo and a list of your interests. To use the device, set the beacon to ‘on’ and walk around. When another user is within range, the device will alert you and display their profile. If you do come within range of a user without Internet connectivity, the app stores the profile ID so the contact’s information can be reviewed at a later time.

Bandana can be downloaded for free from the iTunes App Store.

Degrassi to Tackle Transgender Storyline Teen show Degrassi: The Next Generation, will soon be entering its tenth season and with that plans to introduce a new character named Adam. Adam was born female, but presents himself as a male.

Fifteen-year-old Jordan Todosey will play the role of Adam. For the role, Todosey explained she cut her long blonde hair short, dyed it a darker color, and adopted boyish mannerisms to play the

“The clear message here is that these voices should not be silenced and that human rights cannot be denied on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity.”

Fourteen members of Congress and the U.S. government believe that the group’s application had previously been denied because the group seeks to promote gay rights.

Though no specific storylines for Adam have been announced, Adam will have a homophobic stepbrother named Drew.

Gays Demand Equal Rights in Poland

United States Gay Rights Group Gets UN Accreditation

Poland, widely known for being heavily involved in practicing Roman Catholicism, found thousands of gays and lesbians marching through its capital.

The International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission was recently accredited by the U.N. Economic and Social Council after strong lobbying by the U.S. administration.

The council, which consists of 54 members, approved the group’s application for consultative status with a vote of 23-13, which included 13 abstentions.

Since 2007, the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission has been trying to get consultative status with the council so that it may work at the United Nations in addition to its offices in South Africa, Argentina and the Phillippines.

The International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission is only the tenth organization focusing on gay rights to receive a consultative status.

Cary Alan Johnson, Executive Director of the organization, released a statement saying, “[This] decision is an affirmation that the voices of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people have a place at the United Nations as part of a vital civil society community.” Johnson went on to say,

Thousands of gays and lesbians from throughout Europe marched through Warsaw in an attempt to demand equal rights throughout the country.

The parade was part of the EuroPride gay rights festival, which is meant to boost the fledgling gay rights movement in Poland.

During the country’s Communist era, gay rights were extremely repressed. In the 20 years since, gays and lesbians have struggled for acceptance in a country, which is deeply influenced by the Catholic Church.

The parade was headed by women on motorcycles wearing vests that read “Dykes on Bikes,” followed by trucks carrying people dancing to songs by the Village People. Those in attendance held rainbow flags and banners demanding a tolerant society.

Initial police estimates had the number of participants at 8,000. Throughout the parade, however, there were small groups of anti-gay rights activists. Police said in total, eight people were arrested, all of which were arrested for trying to disturb the march.

Just because they are both gingers, does not mean Chris and the red head from Modern Family look or act a line.

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Eggfast delivers tou you even if you’re at a bar...no I’m serious.

aug 2010

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Organic produce = a huge gaping hole in your pocket.

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Stand tall. Play Ball.

Welcome to Columbus!

Big Gay Columbus - Out and Sporty!

The City of Columbus is honored to host the “Stand Tall. Play Ball.” 34th Annual Gay Softball World Series (GSWS) from August 16 - 21, 2010, at Lou Berliner Park on the City’s southside.

The event has 150 championship teams representing leagues from 37 major U.S. and Canadian Cities. It is the largest Gay Sporting Event ever held in the state of Ohio! With the centralized Midwest location, the convenient layout of playing fields, accommodations, superior arts and nightlife, coupled with the hospitality of our community will certainly bring everyone together for a great week of softball action and fun.

“Columbus has a history of supporting GLBT sporting events and athletes,” said Michael Daniels, co-founder and co-publisher of outlook: columbus magazine, a sponsor of the world series. “This is obviously a huge sports town, with OSU, the Blue Jackets, the Clippers and The Crew,” he adds, “and not only does the GLBT community support all of these teams, the support is reciprocal: all of these teams are supporters of the local GLBT community.”

Community is a very relevant term in Columbus. The city is home to one of the nation’s largest GLBT communities; an estimated 15% of the Columbus metro area is a member of the GLBT community. Add to that the average number of three to four gay allies per GLBT person and that community size swells even more.

The average member of the community spends 25% of every dollar and the local economy sees a boost of over 7.5 billion dollars each year! The Columbus Pride event in June had over 195,000 participants during the weekend event and the city turned out in force to cheer the parade along High Street. Columbus contains several districts known for the GLBT lifestyle, including scores of activities, clubs, galleries and way too many fine restaurants.

Both of the home teams, the Columbus Clippers and the Columbus Crew, have home games during the week of the World Se-

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ries. On Tuesday, August 17, is “outlook Night with the Clippers” sponsored by Outlook Media - a proud sponsor of the 2010 GSWS. Held at the award-winning Huntington Park for AAA Baseball, the Park is the new home of the Columbus Clippers, the Triple-A minor league baseball team in the International League currently affiliated with the Cleveland Indians. There’s a block of 1100 tickets available at just $10 each for the game featuring the Columbus Clippers vs. the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees. Also happening at the Park is City Barbeque Buck-ABone Night, a pre-game concert by Jonalee White, and free rally towels for the first 2000 fans in attendance. (After a little softball, a little hardball can be nice). Tickets can be ordered online and picked up at registration or at a Will Call table prior to the game. The Columbus Crew, central Ohio’s Major League Soccer team, will be playing against the Colorado Rapids on Saturday, August 21.

The Short North will host the closing block party on the Saturday night of the GSWS, to give you a chance to experience the vibrant GLBT nightlife in Columbus. The Short North has been featured on numerous occasions in the New York Times Travel Magazine.

It’s a unique urban neighborhood full of independently owned shops, restaurants, and galleries. One can easily spend several days shopping, eating, and drinking throughout the neighborhood without running out of amusements. Centrally located just north of the downtown (and only a short hop from Berliner Park), the Short North District continues along High Street for a couple of miles, perfect for a long walk on a nice evening. The Arena District is home to the Blue Jackets at Nationwide Arena and host to another round of nightclubs and restaurants.

Visitors always enjoy a stop at the North Market, central Ohio’s public market since 1876, which features cuisine from around the globe and a variety of vendors. And if you’re into history and architecture you won’t want to miss German Village, an internationally recognized 233-acre historic neighborhood complete with unique shops and restaurants. (Are we sensing a theme

here with all the restaurants?). And all of these areas are just a short cab ride or walk from each other. So after a day on the diamonds, let the games begin!

Where are we playing?

The series will be held in historic Berliner Park, located just minutes from Downtown and the Short North at 1300 Deckenbach St. Home to the largest softball complex in the country, women’s, men’s and co-ed teams all play on the park’s 32 fields. Even if you’re not part of an organized league, there are plenty of open fields for spontaneous pickup games. The games have access to the entire 32-diamonds for the GSWS. Teams will have access to practice fields and batting cages starting Sunday the 15th and every day during the week. And three cheers because beer sales have been approved at the park for the very first time!

They are also planning some events at the fields; including the traditional “Legends Game.” This contest will take place during the Championship game, which offers viewers even more opportunity to witness the great talent that will be on display. The Legends Game will take place at Berliner Park on Saturday, August 21st on a field near the championship game. There is an open sign-up to participants at this time. Qualifying participants shall meet one of the following criteria: be in your respective City League Hall of Fame, or in the NAGAAA Hall of Fame, and be a player at least 50 years of age.

And to find your inner Babe Ruth, there’s a home run derby for this year’s Series, which take place at the end of the scheduled games on Thursday. They’ll be using “juiced” balls to make the competition more fun and there will be prizes for the winners.

Contestants must use legal ASA bats and provide a pitcher.

Outside of softball, Berliner Park organizes other team sporting events such as a fiercely competitive flag football league. There are team entry fees, but professional officiating is provided for most events. For those who’d rather sit the game out, there are

For more info on the happenings of the Softball World Series go to http://www.gaysoftballworldseries.com.

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Something wicked this way comes... again.

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plenty of options available. In addition to sporting events, Lou Berliner offers a picnic area with tables and a pavilion, as well as a trail and wildlife area.

Where are we staying?

For the out-of-towners, or those who just want a getaway, the league has secured some great Host Hotels during the week. The Columbus Renaissance, Residence Inn - Downtown Columbus, Downtown Holiday Inn, Hyatt Regency, and Hyatt Capital Square were selected to host GSWS 2010 teams. Each one of the hotels offers unique benefits: The Renaissance will host two parties on their fabulous pool deck; the Hyatt Regency is close to the restaurants in the Arena District and Short North Arts District; the Residence Inn offers large suites; and the Hyatt Capital Square is next door to the historic Ohio Theater, which will be hosting the Broadway smash-hit Wicked.

All of the hotel choices are downtown and approximately three miles from Berliner Park, easily accessible via cab or COTA bus lines. The hotels are also within walking distance or a very short cab ride to some of our great sponsors and other entertainment choices in Columbus. Between the host hotels, there will be plenty of space for all of our out-of-town visitors and those who just don’t want to go home.

That’s Entertainment!

The Opening Ceremonies will kick off at Genoa Park (333 West Broad St) from 5p to 9p on Monday, August 16.. Marshall McPeek is your Emcee for the evening, which includes performances by headliner Inaya Day, The Touring Cast of Wicked, Conia LaTrice, Justin Utley, Capitol City Pride Band, the Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus, Columbus Stompers, Flaggots Ohio, Bearvillities and our own Nina West.

continues on the 18th @ 8p at the Renaissance Hotel. The 2010 version will raise funds for the Columbus Aid Task Force and Camp Sunrise; a camp for HIV affected children. Tickets are just $5. Organize your teammates to perform a number for the show. Please email your name, team name, and a brief description of your act to info@clgsa.net. This year’s Talent Show is sponsored by the Legacy Fund of The Columbus Foundation, which enriches the gay community by linking gifts to today’s needs and tomorrow’s dreams. For more information about the Legacy Fund of The Columbus Foundation and the Howard T. Short and Burdette Augsburger Scholarship program, visit www.thelegacyfund.org.

Wrap it Up with a Block PARTY! The weeks’ festivities wrap up with the Short North GLBT Block Party, which is the official closing ceremony for the GSWS on Saturday August 21 from 6p-11p. Columbus ends the week by blocking off High Street from Buttles to Hubbard Streets. The original Dream Girl Jennifer Holiday will headline this historical event. The stage will also feature The Fabulous Johnson Brothers, Nina West (2009 National Entertainer of the Year), Virginia West and more. What a way to wrap up a week of softball, partying and good times.

And all of this has been brought to Columbus

by NAGAAA. Created in 1977, NAGAAA is a 501c(3) nonprofit organization that promotes amateur sports competition, particularly softball, for all persons regardless of age, sexual orientation or preference. For additional information, please visit their website at http://www.nagaaasoftball.org.

Outline of Scheduled Events (see map on page 35) **All games are played at Berliner Park, 1300 Deckenbach Rd 08.13.2010 Welcome Reception for NAGAAA Delegates @ Trafik, 205 N 5th St 08.14.2010 NAGAAA Summer Meeting @ Renaissance Hotel, 50 N 3rd St 08.15.2010 8p Miss Gay Softball Pageant @ Axis, 775 N High St 08.16.2010 5p - 9p Opening Ceremonies @ Genoa Park, 303 Broad Ave 9p Host Bar Welcome Parties @ Various locations 11p Dance Party @ Wall St, 144 N Wall St 08.17.2010 7p outlook Night at the Clippers @ Huntington Park, Neil Ave @ Nationwide Blvd 10p Grand Slam Sponsor Block Party @ Exile, 893 N 4th St 08.18.2010 4p - 7:30p Prime Timers Happy Hour @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St 8p Talent Show @ Renaissance Hotel, 50 N 3rd St

08.19.2010 3p Barefoot Wines Rooftop Party @ Renaissance Hotel, 50 N 3rd St Home Run Derby @ Berliner Park, 1300 Deckenbach Rd 8p Grand Slam Sponsor Block Party @ Trafik, 205 N 5th St 08.20.2010 3p - 8p Silver Bullet Bash @ Renaissance Hotel, 50 N 3rd St 8p City Wide Sponsor Parties @ Various locations 08.21.2010 Legends Game @ Berliner Park, 1300 Deckenbach Rd 6p Closing Awards Ceremonies @ Berliner Park, 1300 Deckenbach Rd 8p Grand Slam Sponsor Block Party @ Short North, Hubbard and High St 11:30p Temptation Party @ LC Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave 08.22.2010 11a Farewell Brunch @ Union Café, 782 N High St 11a Farewell Brunch @ Level, 700 N High St 11a Farewell Brunch @ Lindey’s, 169 East Beck St

For more information and to register to volunteer, participate and check the detailed schedules, visit http://www.clgsa.net/gsws2010.

Let the Games Begin!

“Put Me In Coach, That Tiara is Mine!”

On August 15 @ 8p, the night before the games begin, organizers are looking for a single representative from each NAGAAA city league to participate in a “CAMP” drag pageant to vie for the title of Miss Gay Softball World Series!” Hosted by Entertainer of the Year 2008-2009 Miss Nina West at Axis, it will truly be the funniest night of the series. The pageant includes a Talent Competition and Evening Field Attire contest. This is traditionally evening wear, it might be fun to see what a lady might walk down the first base line in if all the BIG LIGHTS were on and they were a star! Please send all contestants information to sschisler@unioncafe.com so the lineup can be done and enough staff ready in case you might need some make-up tips, heel repair, or just simply help with a tuck or two!

Columbus Has Got Talent!

Can you sing, dance, or perform sketch comedy? The World Series tradition of hosting a talent show to raise money for local charities

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Do not cruise in Berliner Park. Cops bust people having ‘relations’ there all the time. It’s known CPD will even approach you and solicit/proposition.

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LEARNED HELPLESSNESS In Dire Straits, Americans Whimper Instead

by Ted Rall In 1967, animal researchers conducted an interesting experiment. Two sets of dogs were strapped into harnesses and subjected to a series of shocks. The dogs were placed in the same room. The first set of dogs was allowed to perform a task - pushing a panel with their snouts - in order to avoid the shocks. As soon as one dog mastered the shock-avoidance technique, his comrades followed suit.

The second group, on the other hand, was placed out of reach from the panel. They couldn’t stop the pain. But they watched the actions of the first set.

Then both groups of dogs were subjected to a second experiment. If they jumped over a barrier, the dogs quickly learned, the shocks would stop. The dogs belonging to the first set all did it.

But the second-set dogs were too psychologically scarred to help themselves. “When shocked, many of them ran around in great distress but then lay on the floor and whimpered,” wrote Russell A. Powell, Diane G. Symbaluk and P. Lynne Honey in Introduction to Learning and Behavior. “They made no effort to escape the shock. Even stranger, the few dogs that did by chance jump over the barrier, successfully escaping the shock, seemed unable to learn from this experience and failed to repeat it on the next trial. In summary, the prior exposure to inescapable shock seemed to impair the dogs’ ability to learn to escape shock when escape became possible.”

The decrease in learning ability caused by unavoidable punishment leads to a condition called “learned helplessness.”

Which brings us to the midterm elections.

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Battered and bruised, with no apparent way out, the American electorate has plunged into a political state of learned helplessness. They’ve voted Democratic to punish rapacious Republicans. They’ve voted Republican to get rid of do-nothing Democrats. They’ve tried staying home on Election Day. Nothing they do helps their condition. They’re flailing.

The great mass of Americans works longer hours for less pay until, inevitably, they get “laid off.” Is there a working or middle-class - American who hasn’t lost his job or been close to someone who got fired during the last few years?

Even in 2009, when global capitalism entered its final crisis and millions of Americans were losing their homes to the same banks their taxes were paying to bail out, the world’s richest people - those with disposable wealth over $30 million - saw their assets soar by 21.5 percent.

Go ahead, little leftie: smash the windows at Starbucks in Seattle. It won’t stop transnational corporations from raping the planet and exploiting you. Enjoy your Tea Party, little rightie. It sure is cute, listening to you talk about the wee Constitution. “Your” government and the companies that own “your” leaders have your number. And they’re listening to your phone calls.

The public is now in full-fledged flailing mode. Just two years ago, you will recall, Obama and the Democrats swept into power on a platform of hope and change: hope that things might improve, by changing away from the Bushian Republicanism of the previous eight years.

Now, depending who you listen to, people have either turned against the hope and the change, or against the failure of ObamaCo to deliver it. “The voters, I think, are just looking for change, and that means bad news for in-

cumbents and in particular for the Democrats,” says Peter Hart, a Democratic pollster.

Change from change we can’t believe in. Again.

According to the latest NBC News/Washington Post poll, this is the same electorate that “shows grave and growing concerns about the Gulf oil spill, with overwhelming majorities of adults favoring stronger regulation of the oil industry and believing that the spill will affect the nation’s economy and environment.” Because you know the Republicans are all about more regulation of Big Oil. And care so much about the environment.

Does your head hurt yet?

There is some good news: Three major polls find that most Americans don’t believe Obama has a plan to fix the economy. Yes, this is good news; it proves that the public isn’t totally crazy.

Like the poor Set B dogs in that 1967 experiment, Americans are running around aimlessly, veering between two parties that differ only in their degree of harm. Republicans are evil; Democrats enable it.

Next: lying on the ground and whimpering.

The way out is obvious. If a two-party corpocracy beholden to gangster capitalism is ruining your life, get rid of it.

Don’t whimper. Bite.

Ted Rall is the author of The Anti-American Manifesto, to be published in September by Seven Stories Press. His website is tedrall.com.

As of print time, the Franklin County Humane Society had 80 pets up for adoption. Find your new best friend now at www.franklincountyhumanesociety.org.

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COMMUNITY RESOURCES SPONSORED BY MALCOLM RIGGLE & CMR INC.

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Not to be confused with Queer Spawn, an underground horror movie of the 90s.

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No One Likes To Be Told That They’re Inferior To Someone Else

by Collin Burton photo by Dominic Presutto Last month, I went golfing with a straight male friend. We chose a golf course well outside of Columbus, both because it was inexpensive and because our golf skills are such that we didn’t want any of our friends to see us hack our way through nine holes. Before we teed off, my friend noticed a sign on the till that read “Married Couple’s Special: $25,” and remarked, “Oh, we can get the married couple’s special!” The man and woman working behind the counter did not know that our friendship is platonic, and they laughed heartily.

After a slow, high-scoring nine holes, we returned to the clubhouse. For the sake of social science, we walked in holding hands. “So what do we need to bring to prove our marriage?” we asked the owner.

“Will our marriage certificate or our rings suffice?”

He stammered through an explanation of how a marriage was between a man and a woman, saying “That’s why I have a picture of a man and a woman on my sign,” as he pointed to a photo of a straight couple that was taped to the top corner. We tried explaining how our love is no different from theirs, and that we would like to participate in his married couple’s special. It was clear, throughout this entire exchange, that he felt justified in standing by his discriminatory policy.

As we walked out of the clubhouse, I noticed that the altercation deeply impacted my friend, maybe even more so than it had on me. He was upset that our logical argument of basic fairness fell on deaf ears.

Truthfully, I wasn’t surprised by the reaction of the course owner. I’m not implying that I’m used to, or comfortable with, discrimination. No one likes to be told that they’re inferior to someone else, including my friend or me. This man’s reaction demonstrated to me that we still have a long way to go to achieve equality for LGBT Ohioans. We still live in a country with a federal Defense of Marriage Act and we live in a state with a constitution that denies marriage equality.

Unfortunately, there is organized support for discrimination against LGBT Ohioans, and they’re well funded in their efforts. One of these organizations, The National Organization for Marriage, made two stops in Ohio as part of their “Summer For Marriage Tour 2010: One Man One Woman.” Their goal was to remind Ohioans of the dangers of allowing gays the right to marry.

Groups of progressive citizens, however, gathered to protest these events. Freedom to Marry organized pro-equality press conferences to counteract the press coverage our opponents received. Because of these press conferences, it felt as though we were making progress, instead of feeling like we were slipping backwards in the fight for equality. The

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Silly Bandz: marital exchange of the future.

voices of those who feel it’s right to discriminate against the LGBT community are weakening. Society is changing.

Likewise, LGBT voices in the Democratic Party are heard more loudly than ever and our party’s message of inclusion is growing stronger every day. I witnessed this development at a three-day conference in Washington, D.C. at the end of July, hosted by the National Stonewall Democrats. I was invited to attend the conference and sat on two panels that focused on coalition building between the Stonewall Dems and state parties. We discussed how to build strong partnerships to ensure that the candidate recruitment process included questions regarding the prospective candidate’s position on LGBT rights. We discussed why Stonewall Dems’ relationship with the state Democratic parties is essential to proper messaging to the LGBT community. And we discussed other topics that ultimately helped focus the attendees’ passion for strengthening the Democratic Party. These meetings reminded me that our voices are loud, and that we are gaining momentum.

Back here in Ohio, the LGBT Caucus held LGBT and allied Volunteer Rallies across the state. These large, diverse rallies proved to me that our community understands the importance of working within the party that works for them. Hundreds of volunteers, excited about Ohio’s elections, showed our community’s determination to roll up our sleeves and get involved.

And their timing couldn’t be better, because the heat really turns up in August. The weather is hot and humid, the campaigns are running full steam ahead, heated debates are approaching, phone lines are burning up, doors are being feverishly knocked and campaign commercials are firing on the airwaves. By the end of August, everyone in Ohio will know that there is a massive battle raging between the Democrats and the Republicans. They will know that the Democrats will move Ohio forward and stand up for all of our citizens. Conversely, they will know the Republicans are running recycled candidates with histories of failing Ohio’s citizens and whose proposed policies would plunge our state back into the economic and social dark ages.

We HAVE to keep the fire burning. We have to get involved as a community because without us, the candidates who have worked so hard to support us will not succeed. Join me in supporting the Democratic candidates by signing up at www.fightforohio.com and by attending the volunteer and fundraising opportunities you see on the LGBT Caucus Facebook page, www.facebook.com/ohiolgbtdems.

This is our time.

Collin Burton is the LGBT Caucus Director with the Ohio Democratic Party. Visit www.ohiodems.org/volunteer or e-mail him at lgbt@ohiodems.org to get involved. “Together,” Burton says “we are going to own the summer and have a blast doing it.”

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Can someone tell those guys they’ll have to wear at least a jacket with dinner?

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Contrary to popular belief, the equivalent of a handshake in the gay community is‌ a handshake.

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Feeling spicy?

J. Gumbo’s chad mccoury

by Elliot Fishman photo by Gardner Dunn New Orleans was a bit too far away, but having spent years entrenched in the battle against AIDS, Chad McCoury wanted to laissez les bon temps roulez (let the good times roll).

So he did the next best thing.

He opened J. Gumbo’s, a Cajun-style fast casual restaurant, on downtown Columbus’ “restaurant row” - Gay Street (of course).

“It has been so much fun,” said McCoury as he reflected on the restaurant’s recent first anniversary. “We’ve been really successful, and we’re also giving back to the community.”

Many LGBT central Ohioans know McCoury as a leader in the fight against HIV and AIDS. He worked for the Columbus AIDS Task Force for nearly seven years, spending the last three years of his tenure as CATF’s executive director.

“The Task Force was a great experience,” he said. “I felt like we made a lot of difference in people’s lives.”

At the same time, McCoury said, the work was very stressful. A confluence of events made him think about leaving CATF. “There were a lot of family issues,” he said, including a serious family illness. Also, his life partner, Tim Stauffer - with whom he owns J. Gumbo - was approaching retirement, and they discussed retiring to Ft. Lauderdale.

“I felt that this was the time for me to leave

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the Task Force and spend time with my family, before we moved far away,” said McCoury. For a while, he traveled with his mother and spent time with family. “I spent a lot of time walking around the city, doing things I’d never done before,” he said.

Soon, though, McCoury began thinking about doing something that would benefit the community and utilize his skills as an administrator.

“I kept thinking about Victorian Village, where I live, and the legacy of the people before me who made it such a nice place to live,” he said. “I decided I could do the same thing leave a legacy of making a community better and I thought of Downtown.”

A friend of McCoury had run a Cajun-style restaurant downtown, lost his lease, and developed the J. Gumbo’s concept - ultimately opening several restaurants in the South. McCoury liked the concept and the food. He spent several months conducting research - walking all over downtown, assessing foot traffic, and surveying potential customers to determine the best type of food and style of service which might work best.

“We wanted to do something that was unique for Downtown and also was the kind of food and restaurant that downtown workers would like.” His research led him to the former Skambo coffee shop space at Gay Street and Pearl Alley.”

“Gay Street is pretty well established, and Pearl Alley is the next big development project Downtown,” McCoury said. “I felt we could be

a part of that and really make a difference in developing the area.

The investment was not without risk. “A few people said we were crazy to open a restaurant in the middle of a recession,’ he said. On the other hand, McCoury said he was able to take advantage of the economic downturn by negotiating reasonable lease terms and locking in competitive pricing from several vendors.

One important decision, McCoury said, was that they would only be open for lunch.

“That’s not something you find at other J. Gumbo’s,” he said, where the restaurants are open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

“I wanted this business to be as stress-free as possible” and not be completely wedded to the business, McCoury said, “I like being home to have dinner with my partner.” He developed a business model that he thought would produce a viable restaurant with limited hours.

Part of that business model involved working with the J. Gumbo’s group. McCoury’s restaurant is not legally connected to the other restaurants with the same name. However, they share marketing, purchasing, and a good deal of food production, in order to achieve economies of scale.

contribute to neighborhood growth downtown, and we think very intentionally about what other things we can do to give back to the community.”

Some of those things include giving a percentage of the restaurant’s proceeds to CATF on World AIDS Day, participating in Race for the Cure, and raising money for Nationwide Children’s hospital. J. Gumbo’s is also developing a special program to support the Columbus Urban League, McCoury said.

“It’s great I can use a place like this to make a difference,” he said.

Another means of community development, McCoury said is the restaurant’s support of independent artists, whose works rotate in displays on the walls of the business.

“We work with Junctionview Studios to involve the artists,” he said. “Local artist and art impresario Adam Brouillette coordinates the exhibits.”

But what about the food? A recent visit on a hot Friday lunchtime saw a packed house and customers lined up for servings of etoufee, jumbalaya, drunken chicken, and of course, gumbo. And lots of rice, naturally.

The results have been very successful, McCoury said. In fact, after a year in business, he is planning to expand the outdoor seating areas and install new awnings on both the Gay Street and Pearl Alley sides of the restaurant.

McCoury himself is probably the biggest fan of the food. “I could eat it all the time,” he said.

McCoury is emphatic that running J. Gumbo’s is not only about making money. “We want to

J. Gumbo’s is located at 31 E. Gay St, at Pearl Alley. Hours are 11 - 2p, Monday - Saturday. Contact: 614.469.9900 or www.jgumbos.com.

Could Gay Street get any gayer?

In fact, said McCoury, “I eat a bowl of jumbalaya every day for breakfast.”

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Trippin’ In Our Own Back Yard

by Michael Daniels Amir Eylon is the Director of Travel and Tourism for the State of Ohio, leading efforts to drive economic development through marketing of the State’s travel and tourism industry to attract travelers from outside the state to Ohio, promote travel within the state, and sell Ohio’s unique business opportunities for the travel industry. Basically, that means he’s one cool dude who goes to work every day to tell folks how great our state really is, and why they should visit here and spend their money. I caught up with him to learn a little more about Ohio tourism.

Michael Daniels: What is the economic impact to the Ohio economy of out of state visitors/tourists? What about Ohioans who travel within the state, what is our impact?

Amir Eylon: Tourism has a very significant impact on Ohio’s economy! Last year, more than 171 million trips were taken to and within Ohio for the purposes of leisure, business, and to visit friends and relatives.

All those trips generated an estimated $23 billion in direct visitor spending, which meant about $36 billion dollars in total sales (ex. If Cedar Point and surrounding hotels are busy, all those visitors also are causing the purchase of additional supplies and services from local providers… i.e. food purveyors, cleaning supplies, etc…). This also means that Ohio’s Tourism economy generated about $2.5 billion in state and local taxes and sustained about 437,000 full-time equivalent jobs last year, during a time when sustaining

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jobs and tax revenues were critical. As far as Ohioans travelling within the Buckeye State, they represent about 46 percent of our overnight leisure travelers. This is not surprising given Ohio’s large population and diverse tourism experiences.

MD: Ohio doesn’t have geographical features that many traditionally associate with travel/vacation destinations - we have no mountains, or oceans, for example. That leads some folks to think of us perhaps as a business or convention destination, but not necessarily a travel and leisure destination. How do you address that, and what are you doing to encourage tourism and leisure travel?

AE: Actually, our biggest selling point is the diversity of our product. Urban to rural, Lake Erie to Ohio River, cultural from arts to Amish, and the foothills of Appalachia in regions like the Hocking Hills! We focus about 95 percent of our efforts on promoting Ohio as a leisure travel destination to those within about 350 miles of our borders (we are within a day’s drive of roughly 60 percent of the U.S. population). We encourage leisure travel via a full mix of public relations, advertising, electronic marketing, digital and social media, and through our tourism information services including our website (DiscoverOhio.com), call center (1800-BUCKEYE) and travel publications (an annual Travel Planner and two seasonal calendars per year). All of our marketing efforts are conducted in concert and cooperatively with many of our local and regional destinations and attractions across the state by helping them amplify the message about their unique experiences and,

thereby, Ohio’s great tourism opportunities.

We help them share their Ohio story!

MD: We believe that GLBT Ohio is something of a well-kept secret - we know that when we talk to our GLBT colleagues, they’re stunned to learn that we’re consistently named a top GLBT city nationwide, for example. We made it in last year’s Advocate, and just made this year’s Gay/Lesbian Index. Why do you think that it’s so surprising to non-Ohioans that Ohio is a top GLBT locale?

AE: I don’t know if it’s a secret to those who have already experienced Ohio. In many of my conversations with travel planners serving the GLBT community, they regularly express at least awareness that Ohio cities like Columbus and Cleveland have great GLBT-friendly product. I think the issue of selling Ohio is similar to all segments of the marketplace, it’s about getting the word out about many of our “hidden gems” that are family-friendly or couples-friendly.

Bottom Line: Our product is as diverse as the audiences we serve throughout the region and the country!

MD: How do you balance (and counterbalance) featuring progressive, urban core cities, like Columbus and Cleveland, with rural attractions? Is it hard to promote the Avante-garde and the Amish from the same office?

AE: As mentioned above, that’s actually one of our strongest selling points! People travel for different experiences and are often looking for more than one experience along their way. You can find culinary, arts, adventure, wineries, and other such experi-

Did that little girl have the fish?

ences in almost all of the diverse settings we have across the state with their own little twists.... And did I mention the thousands of great festivals and events? I love the fact that sitting here in my office in Columbus, I am in a completely different environment or experience by just heading a couple of hours in any direction (Lake Erie, Hocking Hills, Ohio River, Amish, large and small cities and towns, etc…).

MD: When YOU vacation, where do you go?

Be honest, now.

AE: Honestly, having a wife and two young children with very active schedules, I do spend most of my getaways here in Ohio.

Recently, we have taken long weekends and day-trips to Lake Erie, Cleveland, Cincinnati, and the Hocking Hills (although I must confess that we met up with the rest of my wife’s family in the Florida panhandle last summer for a large family gathering). But you see, that’s who we are in Ohio…we are the perfect regional getaway destination.

Our average overnight leisure visitors spend about 2½ days here per trip. Bottom Line: Ohio is a great close-by weekend getaway destination that is really “Too Much Fun for Just One Day!” MD: Where can we learn more about Ohio tourism, attractions, and get information for ourselves and our friends?

AE: That’s easy! Just visit DiscoverOhio.com on your computer or mobile device, or call 1-800-Buckeye if you are looking to talk to one of our travel counselors (we are also on Facebook and Twitter @DiscoverOhio)!

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Jay and Jerry seem to have had the same posing coach.

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Victory for Argentina

by Leslie Robinson Argentina suffered a distinct blow when its promising soccer team was bounced from the World Cup. What did the country do to pick up its spirits?

It passed gay marriage.

Argentina is the first nation in Latin America to legalize same-sex marriage. Gays and lesbians in Argentina will have all the legal rights and responsibilities that marriage affords straight couples.

Goal!

The days leading up to the momentous decision were infused with pressure, both sides pushing and pushing.

About the only thing missing were vuvuzelas. And for all I know, some Argentine soccer fans brought those horns home from South Africa and blew them in the streets of Buenos Aires, aggravating people on both sides of the marriage battle.

The issue of same-sex marriage pitted the Catholic Church against Argentine President Cristina Fernandez.

Time.com reported that Buenos Aires archbishop and Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio said, “This is no mere legislative bill, it is a move by the father of lies to confuse and deceive the children of God.” Fernandez responded that Bergoglio’s statement was “really reminiscent of the times of the Inquisition.” The hyperbole was sky-high enough to tickle St. Peter’s feet.

Polls indicated a solid majority of Argentines favored same-sex marriage, even though the country is overwhelmingly Catholic. With the president of the nation a strong supporter of the bill, and the lower chamber having approved it in May, all that remained was for Argentina’s Senate to get in the game. In a march organized by the Catholic Church and evangelical groups, 60,000 people descended on Congress the evening before the vote. Same-sex marriage supporters held smaller, loud rallies. As the final debate took place inside Congress, opponents stood outside reciting the rosary in freezing temperatures, and supporters chanted equality slogans.

These people must’ve wondered if the senators had es-

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Soccer players do it for 90 minutes in 11 different positions.

caped out the back door - the vote didn’t take place until 4:05a, after 15 hours of debate. The game lasted so long it went into penalty kicks.

“Marriage between a man and a woman has existed for centuries, and is essential for the perpetuation of the species,” asserted Senator Juan Perez Alsina, according to The Associated Press. Senator Norma Morandini compared the discrimination closeted gays experience to the oppression Argentina’s past dictators imposed. “What defines us is our humanity, and what runs against humanity is intolerance,” Morandini said.

With that, every dictator rose from his grave and tried to give her a red card, but no one noticed. At the end of the long, tense session, the Argentine Senate approved samesex marriage 33-27, with three abstentions. Argentina became the 10th nation in the world to approve gay marriage.

On the same day the Catholic Church lost the game, the Vatican announced that the “attempted ordination” of women is now one of the most serious crimes under church law, on a par with clerical sexual abuse of children. Altogether, the Catholic Church is shooting on the wrong goal.

The first legal same-sex wedding is scheduled for August 13. Ernesto Rodriguez Larrese, 60, will wed Alejandro Vanelli, 61. The men have lived together for 34 years, so presumably they require no pre-wedding counseling. Mexico City, which legalized gay marriage last year, made an offer the guys might not be able to refuse. The city’s tourism minister promised a free honeymoon to the first gay couple wed in Argentina. The minister seeks to recognize tolerance and to promote gay tourism, a healthy, eminently practical combo.

By the way, the two World Cup finalists, Spain and Holland, both have legalized gay marriage. All the soccerplaying nations in the world, and it was those two that made it. I’m just sayin’ . . .

Leslie Robinson thinks the U.S. better hurry up and legalize gay marriage if it is ever to do well in the World Cup. E-mail Leslie at lesarobinson@gmail.com, and visit her blog at www.generalgayety.com.

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Urban Dictionary’s definition of Flow: Long, curly or wavy hair. Mostly a hockey term. Hair that would flow out the back of someone's helmet and curl up around the back.

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NO WAFFLING IN BELGIUM

by Wayne Besen

There was certainly no waffling in Belgium when law enforcement officials raided a Catholic Bishop’s meeting to pursue tawdry allegations of sexual abuse by pedophile priests. When Pope Benedict XVI heard about the operation, he put down his incense and announced he was incensed that police actually did their jobs to protect minors from major abuses. He called the police action “surprising and deplorable,” which more accurately might describe the way Rome has handled the child rape crisis.

Make no mistake - the raid was harsh, heavy-handed - and certainly long overdue. It is important to remember that the authorities only acted after the church stonewalled and failed to follow through on promises it made to refer abuse cases to prosecutors under a 1990s agreement.

In condemning the sting operation, the Vatican Secretary of State, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, tried to hide behind diplomatic protocol by calling the police practices “serious and unbelievable” and compared them to the handiwork of communist dictatorships.

However, if the Vatican were a genuine country where leaders abused children on such a massive scale worldwide, they would have suffered far more serious consequences. There would surely be calls in the United Nations for sanctions and a demand that the Pope step down.

The heart of the matter is that the Holy See wants to remain in charge of investigations, despite its complete and utter failure to comprehensively investigate, no less discipline, wayward priests.

They obviously remain clueless on the gravity of the situation and heartless in the clumsy way they often treat their victims.

At this point, The Roman Catholic Church arguably has less credibility than the despicable North American Man Boy Love Associa-

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tion (NAMBLA) in terms of investigating allegations of abuse. If you think this is anti-Catholic hyperbole, consider that the Vatican has a total of ten investigators to cover hundreds of complaints worldwide. Pause and digest this paltry number for a moment... then get really angry.

That’s right, the Los Angles Lakers have two more basketball players than the Vatican has child sexual abuse investigators. Rome’s entire molestation unit is the size of two Jackson 5’s. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the Pope has hired more than ten personal shoppers to help him pick out his Prada shoes.

Now, compare the figures 10 and 400.

The former we know, and the latter is the total number of sexual abuse allegations leveled against Belgian priests since the 80s. Of course, the Church created a puppet committee in Belgium to plod through the cases. But, we all know that Rome’s specialty is stonewalling and smokescreens. Given the disparity between promises to actual prosecutions, no country that cares about its children should allow the Vatican authority to police itself. The time for ceding control to Rome must end and civil authorities worldwide should follow Belgium’s laudable lead.

Left to its own deviant devices, the Vatican’s instincts are to pass the buck, while giving guilty priests a pass. When the abuse cases first came to light in the United States, the Vatican tried to spin the immoral monstrosity as an American problem, as if latitude and longitude caused the lechery and lies.

The geographical excuse imploded after an avalanche of child rape allegations came from all corners of the world including the Catholic strongholds of Ireland, Austria and Germany. In a panic, the Pope and his minions tried to blame everything from gossip to gay men.

Indeed, Belgium’s Archbishop Léonard has long tried to demonize LGBT people. Three years ago he said they were “abnormal,” with “a blockage in their normal psychological development.” That’s interesting, because the police just raided his church over a pedophilia cover-up, not one of the many gay establishments or organizations in Brussels.

In the controversial raid, according to Time Magazine: Police sealed off St. Rumbold’s Cathedral in Mechelen, north of Brussels, where the nine bishops were meeting, and carried away computers and hundreds of files. They drilled into the tombs of prelates Leo Jozef Suenens and Jozef-Ernest van Roey - who headed the Belgian Catholic Church between 1926 and 1979 and poked a camera inside to look for hidden documents. At the same time, they raided the home and seized the laptop of Cardinal Godfried Danneels, who was the head of the Belgian Catholic Church for three decades until Léonard succeeded him in January.

The police also went to nearby Leuven to search the premises of the independent Church body that is investigating hundreds of cases of clerical abuse.

In this particular case, I say, “drill baby, drill.” This is the way to run a proper investigation. Law enforcement across the globe must stop coddling alleged criminals and enabling a Vatican cover-up.

The Pope’s kangaroo investigative committees ought to be dismantled immediately and the police should handle the possible crimes.

If the Pope and his cohorts are truly men of God, wouldn’t they welcome much-needed assistance for their obviously overburdened and beleaguered ten investigators?

Wayne Besen, Founding Executive Director of Truth Wins Out, a non-profit organization that defends the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community against anti-gay misinformation, counters the so-called “ex-gay” industry and educates America about the lives of LGBT people. For more info: www.truthwinsout.org.

Do not cross the police line, citizen. Yeah you! I see what you’re thinking. Just back it up buddy, Back it up.

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LOW (od

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So...does Stallone protect the future?

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The Silent Killers in Social Media Never Die

by Richard Telofski The current oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is, of course, a first-degree public relations nightmare for beleaguered British multinational BP. Many pundits and financial analysts have debated whether or not the company will be able to survive this environmental disaster. Whether BP can and does survive this ordeal financially remains to be seen. Certainly their financial survival will depend on how many claims are filed, the aggregate value of those claims, the legitimacy of the claims, and how long the claim filing goes on. All of which remains uncertain.

But what seems to me to be more certain is that BP will have an extremely difficult time surviving the corporate image nightmare.

That is a problem that will not go away shortly after the last claim is paid and is one that likely will continue in perpetuity. Why do I think that? Two words.

tomized look, you may simply enjoy the miracle of Google and type “BP” into their search box. But here I can, at least, take a quick look at one social media view of the BP accident. This one is particularly unique among all the social media haranguing of the hapless British multinational.

Prompted by the BP rig explosion and the ensuing spill, Greenpeace, the global environmental non-governmental organization (NGO), initiated a “Rebrand the BP Logo” contest. Via the Internet, Greenpeace asked its supporters to submit their own versions of the BP logo, telling them: “ . . . create a logo for BP which shows that the company is not ‘beyond petroleum’ - they’re up to their necks in tar sands and deepwater drilling.”

And what did the NGO say they would do with the winning redesign, which is known in other parlance as a “culture jam”?

Social media.

These two words, and the peer-to-peer communications explosion they represent, did not exist in 1979 when the Ixtoc oil spill occurred in the Gulf of Mexico, nor did those two words and the social web technology that they describe exist when the Exxon Valdez ran aground in 1989. Both Ixtoc and Valdez are two environmental accidents that are on a similar scale as the current BP spill. But the corporate image pitfalls of those pre-social media accidents will not live on to the same extent, as will those of the BP spill.

Those corporate image perils will not be as threatening because social media did not exist during the times of Ixtoc and Valdez.

And because there was no social media then, there would simply not be as much deposited about the Ixtoc or Valdez incidents within blogs, social networks, mini-blogs, photo sharing sites, etc. as there would be about the BP incident which is now playing out under the watchful eye of the pervasive social media world that grows daily. Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, and blogs galore are alight with news, opinions, and lies about the BP disaster. The extent of the social media coverage, much of it launched by “citizen journalists,” is so voluminous, too voluminous in fact, that it cannot be chronicled here. For your own cus-

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“The winning logo will be used by us in innovative and exciting ways as part of our international campaign against the oil company.” (Both quotes per Greenpeace Web site - http://www.greenpeace.org/usa/news/gulf-oil-spill/bp-logo.)

Now, when viewed by the casual observer such an action might seem clever, cute, and even perhaps tongue-in-cheek. Certainly because of these characteristics, the Greenpeace campaign would attract a lot of attention. But, when viewed from the perspective of a businessperson, it’s plain to see that this campaign will also add further contemporary damage to the BP corporate image. Be that as it may, let’s not be shortsighted and forget the BP of the future. That damage will be of an extended nature, one of a “silent killer” which will continue to injure the corporate image long after the last gallon of oil is scooped up, long after the last pelican is cleaned and released, and long after all compensation is awarded, no matter how much more “green” that energy company attempts to become. That injury to the future BP corporate image will endure because of the way Greenpeace collected the contest entries.

site. (Such sites in social media are sometimes known as “plogs,” short for “photo blog.”) When the contest ended on June 28, 2010, there were approximately 2,500 entries in the two Flickr.com photo groups, “Behind the Logo 1 & 2,” that Greenpeace had set up for their purpose. Also at that time, there had been about 600,000 views of the logo rebrands entered, views racked up in only a matter of a few weeks. In terms of numbers of future views, what do you think that number implies if these images remain on Flickr.com?

It doesn’t seem likely that Greenpeace would remove all these rebrand entries once the contest is complete. Why would they? And in that case, for as long as Greenpeace keeps its Flickr.com account active, these images will live “forever” on Flickr.com, and they will be available for people to digitally share and pass around as they like, ad infinitum, and ad nauseum for BP. Even if, at some point, Greenpeace did remove these logo rebrand entries from Flickr.com, in all probability, because these images would have been exchanged online, digitally migrating away from Flickr.com, moving from one site to the next, they will continue to live indefinitely on the larger social web.

So, given this one silent social media killer example, and because of all the other countless social media “pastings” of the BP brand that exist out there on the social web, I believe it will be very difficult for BP to survive the perpetual corporate image impact. This is an impact borne of an easy to use tool, accessible to almost everyone in the developed world, that didn’t exist half dozen years ago and a tool that will likely become more pervasive as time marches on.

What does that signal for BP? And what does that indicate for any other company, such as yours, which is either rightly or wrongly accused within social media?

Richard Telofski is the founder and president of The Kahuna Content Company, Inc. a competitive strategy consultancy. He was also the founder and head of The Becker Research Company, Inc., one of the world’s first competitive intelligence consultancies, where he worked with Fortune 100 clients. Telofski is the author of four books including Insidious Competition and Dangerous Competition. For more information please visit: www.InsidiousCompetition.com.

Greenpeace asked the contest entrants to submit their entries to a photo group on Flickr.com, the social photo and image-sharing

Isn’t the silent killer of social media Jack the File Ripper?

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Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light? He wears a suit.

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Bradley just celebrated his birthday. Happy belate b-day Mr. Weatherford!

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Taming the Tiger: Techniques for Transforming Anger

by Regina Sewell

ion, cut ourselves or get lost in a suicidal spin.

Anger may be bitter, but there’s something sweet about the high that comes when we express it. The power it gives us overrides, at least temporarily, the fear and/or shame that it’s masking. But when we express our anger in its raw form, it can be hurtful and the words we speak, the signals we send and/or the violence we inflict can never be taken back. Words and behavior stemming from blind anger can destroy property, relationships, and sometimes even lives.

Anger is powerful energy and needs to be handled in a skillful way.

And as with most things, awareness is key. The instant you notice yourself feeling anger (or the first instant you hear yourself snapping at someone or engaging in other angry behavior), stop. Give yourself some time to get present. Tear your mind away from your anger and tune into your breath. Breathe deep into your belly, letting it rise and fall and notice the sensations you feel breathing in and breathing out. When you notice a thought popping into your mind, let it go and gently bring your focus back to your breath. If you are struggling with watching your breath, scan your body. Feel your feet on the ground. Notice the energy in your hands. The point is to bring your awareness to your body and away from the stories you are spinning in your mind.

If we don’t act out our anger, we can hold onto it so long that it becomes resentment. And we savor resentment as if it were a glass of fine champagne. We lick our lips, tasting the memory of old grievances that bubble up in the shadows of our minds. We savor the salty taste of old wounds, the bitterness of feeling wronged, and the sweetness of revenge as we imagine humiliating and destroying the one(s) we blame for our suffering.

Resentment’s bouquet is both intoxicating and addictive. Once we open its bottle, we can focus on it for hours, days, even years. But, the buzz it gives us comes with a cost. Not only does it steal our precious time, it eats us up from the inside. And while we’re focusing our energy on them, they are out there eating a sandwich, getting on with their life. In the words of the Buddha, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Swallowing the resentment, pretending not to be angry when we really are, doesn’t help either.

Eventually the pressure builds and comes out sideways. We displace our anger onto our families, friends and pets, snapping at them for inconsequential things. We take passive aggressive swipes at people in our worlds and generate a reputation for being untrustworthy. We rage at drivers who cut in front of us or at the computer for taking too long to boot up. Sometimes, instead of taking it out on others, we take it out on ourselves. This strategy isn’t really any better because it harms us at an even deeper level and sometimes drives us to eat mindlessly, drink ourselves into obliv-

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Sometimes the simple act of refocusing your attention is enough.

Sometimes it’s not. If you notice yourself engaging in the behaviors associated with swallowing your resentment, you need to find a more focused way to release your anger. Here are a few strategies to help you let go of it. An important aspect of each of these strategies is that the focus is on releasing the anger rather than merely watering its seeds.

1. Visualization – Burn it out: Begin by watching your breath as described above. After a few breaths, imagine a fire burning inside you. Every time an angry thought or sensation creeps into your mind, let the fire burn it up. Do this until there is nothing left to burn. When the fire is out, imagine rain falling over the ashes, cooling down the coals and washing away the ash and debris.

2. Write it out: Write a letter that you do not intend to send to the person, group or entity you’re angry at. Tell them what they did to hurt you, describe how their action (or inaction) has affected you, and tell them how you feel. (It’s ok if you spend a page or two writing nothing but swear words. The idea is to get the poison out of you.) When you’ve said all you need to say for now, burn the letter or tear it into shreds so that you don’t spread the anger any further. In some cases, it is helpful to forgive the person or group when you’re

Heeeere’s Stock-Image!

done. In all cases, it’s helpful to forgive yourself for whatever you’ve been beating yourself up about.

3. Pound it out. Get a noodle (the long colored tubes that children use to float in the swimming pool). Make sure to take off any jewelry that might get snagged such as bracelets, watches or earrings. Stand in front of your bed, your couch or a sturdy chair.

Ground yourself by placing both feet on the ground, hip distance apart. Bend your knees, take the noodle in both hands above your head and swing it down like you would swing an axe to chop wood and bang the noodle on the bed, couch or chair. Sound helps move energy out so as you swing the noodle downwards, growl like an angry bear, or yell something simple, perhaps your favorite swear word. Make sure to re-ground your feet and pay attention to your breath after every swing. Do this until it feels like the anger has left your body. When the anger is gone, send love to yourself. Remember a time when you felt loved unconditionally or imagine what it might feel like to have this experience. Let this feeling fill your heart. When you feel your heart brimming over with love, let the love spread throughout the rest of your body until your entire body is filled with love.

4. Give your anger to Mother Earth. The idea behind this ritual is that while we are too small to handle anger’s powerful energy, the earth is bigger. The earth can transform anger’s energy into something life sustaining, much like it transforms compost into fertilizer.

Dig a hole in the ground big enough to hold your anger. When you’re finished digging, yell your anger into the hole. When you think you’re done, check in with yourself to see if there’s any more. Check again. Most of us are so used to holding on to our anger, we don’t notice it. But if you sit a moment, it’s likely to bubble up again. If there is, yell that into the hole as well. Do this until there’s nothing left to yell out. When you’re sure there’s nothing left, refill the hole and trust mother earth to transform it.

Regina Sewell is a mental health counselor. To ask a question, propose a column topic, read about her approach to counseling, or check out her books and other writing, go to: www.ReginaSewell.com. Her most recent publication, Sliding Away can be found in Knowing Pains: Women on Love, Sex and Work in Our 40s, edited

by Molly Rosen.

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Lesbian Math

by Mette Bach If my statistics collecting is any indication, you can tell a quality lesbian by the amount of exes she has. A lesbian worth hanging onto is friends with at least 75% of her exes. Okay, I’m just saying that because it occurred to me recently that I am friends with three quarters of my exes. Is this lesbian math absurd? Possibly.

Is there more of it? Indeed.

First of all, there is the important question of what constitutes ‘friendship’. Does civility count? My math says ‘no’.

Most of us are willing to be civil with strangers. Exes are different. Sure, some of them warrant antagonism but most of them deserve a lot more than mere politeness.

I once heard that to get over any relationship, it takes at least half of the time that you were invested in the relationship. So, if you were with your sweetie for four years, after two years, you might be able to be friends. If you can do it earlier, you’re a super-lesbian. If it takes longer, well, you’re also human. If there were complications along the way – breeches of trust, for example – the break-up math gets fuzzy.

at least one hour without wanting to either have sex or stab each other with forks. If they can, then they are friends. If they can sustain togetherness for over four hours, they are super-lesbians and if they can handle each other for twenty minutes, well, they are human.

All of this math was foreign to me until just a few years ago. I suppose I was still getting over hurts and disappointments and so I found it challenging to be around lesbians who were so cavalier with their exes. The concept seemed foreign to me. After all, when I’d split with boyfriends (in the days of yore), we’d say our goodbyes, return each other’s CDs or can openers or books and that would be that. I’ll admit that I was jealous of my new lesbian friends. I really wanted to be the kind of person who could say I went canoeing with my ex last week and genuinely extol her virtues. It took a long time for me to understand that while I might want such friendships in theory, in practice I was not ready to do the work to get them.

Lucky for me, that all changed. Before I knew it, I was initiated, one ex-girlfriend at a time, into a sacred club of Sapphic bonds. And now I wouldn’t change that for the world.

But let’s assume the relationship ended for mutually agreeable, rational or emotionally compatible reasons. If that is the case and the allotted time of bereavement has passed, then friendship can begin.

The only requirement, really, was a shift in expectations.

Where once I might have evaluated my girlfriend based on compatibility as a lover or partner, I had to let go of that and see her for her: a fallible human being with whom I’d shared significant experiences. In return, she would lend me the same sense of patience and understanding.

So how often does a well-functioning lesbian want to see her exes? Again, it depends. This may not be a matter of quantity but quality. The true test is whether or not the once-coupled lesbians can be alone together for a period of

It was not all that long ago that I ventured into unchartered friendship territory with one of my exes – one who is currently one of my closest friends. We jumped in, feet first, not knowing what to expect: neither one of us had managed

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a close connection with an ex before. We were pioneers and I guess that was part of the excitement. What we learned together was that when we focused on each other’s positive qualities, we were fine. On occasion, when we ventured into the murky territory of the reasons for our split, feelings started to hurt and one or both of us would make an excuse to leave. Then we’d both stew on the interaction for a couple of days, call each other and start the process again. We did this a handful of times and after that, the reasons for our split became fodder for our jokes. So I started to think that the true test of friendship was laughter. If two once-involved lesbians could both have a good loving and respectful chuckle at the demise of their romantic relationship, they were friends. And so, based on highly scientific data collecting, I concluded that we were friends.

Sharing this news with other lesbians was delightful but even more delightful was the zeal with which they shared their own mathematical calculations with me. One hilarious dyke friend is convinced that you can’t tell if a lesbian is a real lesbian until after the seven-year mark. If a woman goes seven years without sleeping with a man, she’s a real lesbian. Until that time, she’s still just getting her toes (or whatever) wet.

Why seven years? Who knows. Why do I think a good lesbian is friends with 75% of her exes? Also a mystery. The point is this: move over algebra, there’s a new math in town. It isn’t always accurate and it doesn’t always make sense but neither do relationships.

Mette Bach is the author of Off The Highway: Growing Up in North Delta. www.newstarbooks.com

So if a gay man is friends with 75% of his exes, does that mean he’s lying about how many people he’s slept with?

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kind of -philia! Thu, Fri and Sat through August 28 at 8p, Sun August 22 at 3p; $15 adults ($10 students).

The Number One Threat To America Mr. All Ohio Bear Contest @ Wall Street, 144 N High St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Exactly what it sounds like. It will be hot, in both the attractive and the hairy sense. Doors 8p, show 9p; cover.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 15 SUCH A SHINING STAR Jeffree Star @ The Basement, 391 Neil Ave, 614.461.5483, www.promowestlive.com: Head over to The Basement and catch everyone’s favorite Internet-Drogy-Celebrity Star. 6p; $12.

MONDAY, AUGUST 16 INSERT PITCHER/CATCHER JOKE HERE 2010 NAGAAA Gay Softball World Series @ Lou Berliner Park, www.gaysoftballworldseries.com: Columbus is home to this year’s gay softball world series, with over 150 championship teams. Games last through August 21. free.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 17 BASEBALL IS GAY! Outlook Night With The Clippers @ Huntington Park, 330 Huntington Park Lane, 614.462.2757, www.clippersbaseball.com: Take me out!

Sure sure, to the ballgame.

Join your favorite crew (aside from the Columbus Crew) for a night of hotdogs, ball and beer. Sounds like my last date.

7:05p; $3 - $15.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 19 THE SABOR OF LOVE Sabor de Columbus @ The Columbus Zoo, 9990 Riverside Dr., www.columbuszoo.org: Sample the best of Columbus’ Hispanic and Latin cuisine. Or take some home, microwave it and impress a date by saying you made it. 5:30p; $25 (call 614.505.6751 or visit www.hccolumbus.com).

FRIDAY, AUGUST 20 GOATS, GAYS, AFFAIRS…SOUNDS LIKE FRIDAY The Goat or Who Is Sylvia? @ Studio Two in the Riffe Center, 77 S High St, 614.469.0939,

SATURDAY, AUGUST 28 THAT’S NO SHARK’S FIN

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SATURDAY, AUGUST 14 A LOVE THAT’S SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE? WHY NO, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THAT AT ALL Arborphilia @ Columbus Civic Theater, 3837 Indianola Ave, www.raconteurtheatre.com: Girl x Tree. Democrat x Republican. Honestly, this play has a lot of kinky shit happening – and it’s not even my favorite

necessary; Free appetizers; 6FRIDAY, AUGUST 6 8p; free.

POODLE SKIRTS: THE NEW LEATHER Rock ‘N Roll Hits Columbus @ WE HOPE SO ANYWAY Columbus Historical Society, Short North’s Got Talent! @ 51 Jefferson Ave, Axis, 775 N High St, 614.224.0822, www.colum614.291.4008, www.columbushistory.org: Revisit the busnightlife.com: Dancing, golden years of Rock ‘N Roll singing and attempts at comwith this special event held by edy! And the show’s at Axis, so the Columbus Historical Soci- you can hang around afterety. Dance, twist and perhaps ward and use what you shout! See the vintage car learned to pick up boys. Call show, participate in the auc614.299.8050 for tickets. 7p; tion, eat the food or do what I $15 (advance) / $20 (door). do – hit the cash bar. 6:30p; $60/person or $100/couple.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 12 THEY DON’T BITE (UNLESS YOU ASK SATURDAY, AUGUST 7 NICELY) VAJAZZLING COUNTS AS ART, RIGHT? Bear Camp 2010: HARDBALL An Evening of the Arts @ @ Holiday Inn Capital Square, Center on High, 1160 N High 175 E Town St, www.columSt, 614.299.7764, busbears.com/cub/bearcamp: www.stonewallcolumbus.org: Hang with your fuzzy friends at Stop by the Center during the bars and events all across Short North’s August Gallery Columbus. Registration inHop! The evening will feature cludes most meals, access to an art show coordinated by Vendor Maul, activities and TransOhio in conjunction with lube wrestling at Trafik. the Transgender & Ally Sympo- Through August 15. $100 (besium (6-10p), an appearance fore August 7) / $110.

by Debra Shade, author of “Maybe She’s Right,” a story FRIDAY, AUGUST 13 about a female sex addict and AND WE’RE NOT EVEN IN TRANSYLVAher adventures (6-9p), and a NIA performance of the Vajazzle Transgender And Ally SympoMonologues, a “social-comsium @ OSU Multicultural edy” bound to make you shake Center at the Ohio Union, 1279 your head once or twice (7p).

N High Street, Evening of events 6-10p; Per- www.transohio.org: This year’s formance @ 7p; Wine and expanded Transgender and Ally snacks provided; free. symposium will take place over three days, with over 70 SUNDAY, AUGUST 8 workshops and seminars on BREAK OUT THOSE COWBOY BOOTS health, advocacy, the arts, and Rascal Flatts @ Columbus more. Through August 15; $40 Crew Stadium, One Black & - $150.

Gold Blvd, 614.447.CREW (2739), WISH I COULD BEND THAT WAY www.ticketmaster.com: Strap Fabulously Fluid @ Wall Street, 144 N High St, on your boots and throw on a hat because it’s time for Ras- 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: TransOcal Flatts to make their 4th appearance at Crew Stadium. hio’s variety show – $35, $60, $75; Show @ 7:30p. showcasing this year’s performers and speakers. And everything in-between. Doors 8p, show 9p; $5.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 11

HINT: NO CASTING COUCH NECESSARY

Network Columbus @ Members First Credit Union, 1445 W Goodale Blvd, 614.268.8525, www.networkcolumbus.com: Mingle with the best of Ohio’s progressive LGBT networking group. The evening’s discussion concerns how to make networking work for you. Steve Baldzicki of Big Fish Networking will be speaking. No RSVP

www.capa.com: Follow the GLBT Night at Zoombezi Bay story of Martin, a man who just @ Zoombezi Bay, 4850 West turned 50, his son just came Powell Road, www.zoombezout, and he’s been having an ibay.com: Enjoy an exclusive affair with Sylvia for six event at Crocktail island months. The twist? Sylvia is a (which hopefully involves goat. 8p; $20. crocktails of all flavors), followed by music videos in the Classic Queen (And We Don’t Wild Tides Wave Pool. So it’s Mean Bohemian Rhapsody) like a night out, but with water.

Mary Ann Brandt @ Wall 6p; $20 ($29.99 for all day zoo Street, 144 N High St, and water park pass).

614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: She only JUDGE WHILE YOU DRINK - AKA A puts on appearances for holi- NORMAL NIGHT OUT days. And for this Upper ArColumbus Food & Wine Affair lington superstar, Back to Wine Competition @ ColumSchool is the biggest holiday of bus Fish Market, 1245 Olenall. See the special on August tangy River Road, 20, 28 and 29. Doors 8p, Show www.foodandwineaffair.com: @ 9p; cover.

This year’s wine competition will be opened up for the first SATURDAY, AUGUST 21 time to thirty reserved guests.

TIME TRAVEL! GO BACK TO 1997!

Taste the competition and vote Hanson @ Newport Music on the People’s Choice Wine.

Hall, 1722 N High St, 8:30p; $50.

614.294.1659, www.promowestlive.com: Need we count the FINGERS CROSSED. TOGAS. hits? I think not. Catch Hanson GODDESS @ Axis Nightclub, in all their Mmbop glory along- 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, side Rooney. General admiswww.columbusnightlife.com: sion; All ages; Doors @ 7p; Virginia West stars, and she $25. certainly is! Celebrate the nearing end of summer by SUNDAY, AUGUST 22 going on a journey of the Greek CALL YOUR MOMMA! Gods & Goddesses. There will Columbus PFLAG @ Unitarian also be appearances from Universalist Church, 93 West Nina West, Maria Garrison, Weisheimer Rd, 614.267.4649, Freesia Balls, Natasha West, www.pflagcolumbus.org: Join Akasha O Hara Lords, Anisa the meeting of PFLAG’s Colum- Love, Alexis Stevens, Candy bus chapter. PFLAG meetings Panties, Sandy von Lipshitz, occur the fourth Sunday of Kari Kerning, Pretty Punasty every month. 2p-4p; free. and the West Family Dancers!

Don’t miss it! Doors @ 7p; THURSDAY, AUGUST 26 Show @ 8p; Tables $50; GenSAX-O-MO-PHONE eral admission $8.

Gene Walker @ The King Arts Complex Theatre, 867 Mount DOUBLE THE FUN! Toledo Pride Festival @ Vernon Ave, 614.645.KING (5464), www.thekingartscom- Toledo Civic Hall, 237 S Erie St (inside Erie Street Market), plex.com: For those of us www.equalitytoledo.org: Miss who’ve grown past the pop styling’s of Hanson (ie: we only Columbus’ Pride? Maybe you want round two? The Toledo listen to ‘Mmbop’ in private).

Pride Festival is sponsored by 6:30p; free.

Outskirts, Equality Toledo and several community members.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 27 3p – 1a; $5 from 3p-7p; $7 WE ONLY PRETEND OUR RIVER BURNS from 7p-1a.

WaterFire @ Genoa Park, www.waterfirecolumbus.com: MONDAY, AUGUST 30 The Dwight Lenox Jazz Band THERE’S A ZUCCHINI IN MY PANTS! performs, followed by the most Obetz Zucchini Festival @ hot stuff downtown since Memorial Park, 4175 Alum Pride. Indulge your artsy side. Creek Dr, 614.491.1080, 7:30p; free. www.obetzzucchinifest.com: Rides. Zucchini. Sounds good already. free!

• • • • • • • • • • • about town • • • • • • • • • • • SUNDAY, AUGUST 1 ANOTHER REMINDER THAT YOU’RE OLD Back to the Garden @ Schiller Park, www.woodstockmusical.com: Not only do the kids treat Woodstock like a retro fad, but Shadowbox went and made a musical about it.

Nothing to do but bling out your beads, cut your hair short in protest of today’s longhaired sentiments and enjoy some folks that were born after Woodstock talking about it as if they were there. 7p; free (donation suggested).

TUESDAY, AUGUST 3 START YOUR WHISTLIN’ PRACTICE Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros @ Newport Music Hall, 1722 N High St, 614.294.1659, www.promowestlive.com: You either love ‘em or you’ve never heard of ‘em. Presented by CD101, check out this amazing band bound to sing their hit single, “Home.” General admission; All ages; $15 adv, $18 day of; doors 7p.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 4 ARE WE NOT MEN? Devo @ The Ohio State Fair, www.ticketmaster.com; There’s a lot of talk about “busting out” things for events (beads, cowboy hats, whips and etc.) – but now let’s be serious. Bust out your energy pyramids. 7p; $30.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 5 LOTS OF PICTURES OF EXPLODING ROCKETS Outlook Launch Party @ Mozaik Lounge, 51 Vine St, 614.469.1000, www.mozaiklounge.com: Celebrate us, with us. Meet the sassy voices behind this fabulous magazine.

Oh, and there’s booze. Presented by Dimensional Entertainment. 7p; free.

BUST OUT THE PITCHFORKS 8: The Mormon Proposition @ The Gateway Film Center, 1550 N High St, 614.545.2255, www.gatewayfilmcenter.com: GFC and Stonewall team up for another installment in the OUTTakes film series. But there’s nothing funny about this one… Until you let outlook at it: “8: The Mormon Proposition? Sounds like a bad Mormon porn – oh!” 8p; $5.

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11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 6:30 PM Wicked (closes) @ Ohio The! ater 7:00 PM Virginia West's Goddess @ Axis 8:00 PM Mary Ann Brandt @ Wall Street 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

29

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Farewell Brunch @ Lindey's, Level & Union 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level … Temptation Party @ The LC Pavilion 2:00 PM Columbus PFLAG 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

22

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 8:00 PM Miss Gay Softball Pageant @ Axis 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

TransOhio Symposium

Bear Camp 2010: Hardball

9:00 AM BNI Group One-to-Ones @ Panera Bread (Bethel) 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 4:00 PM [title of show] @ Club Diversi! ty 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 7:00 PM Back to the Garden 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

Sunday

Pride Holiday Events

Bars-Clubs

Networking

US Holidays

Special Events

2

10

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

30

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Wicked Benefit for BC/EFA @ Union 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

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Location: Exile

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 7:30 PM 3 Olives with Jazz Mary @ Club D 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

Location: Exile

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 7:30 PM 3 Olives with Jazz Mary @ Club D 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

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and 2 more…

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and 3 more…

10:00 PM Karoake@Cavan

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 7:30 PM 3 Olives with Jazz Mary @ Club D 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

10:00 PM Nina's Birthday Party @ 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ … Dance Party @ Wall St 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 7:00 PM Outlook Night @ The Clippers 7:30 PM 3 Olives with Jazz Mary @ 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 9:00 PM Dog Tag Party @ Axis

16

3 9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 7:00 PM Edward Sharpe&Magnetic Ze! roes@ the Newport 7:30 PM 3 Olives with Jazz Mary @ Club D 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

Tuesday

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Softball Opening Ceremonies 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Host Bar Welcome Parties 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level

NAGAAA Sofball World Series

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 7:00 PM Pizza Mondays 7:30 PM [title of show] @ Club Diversi! ty 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

9

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

Monday

Softball World Series Event

August 2010

4

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

1

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

25

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM Prime Timers Happy Hour @ 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM TransWomen Peer Group 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM Talent Show @ Renaissance 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

18

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 6:00 PM Network Columbus @ Mem! bers First Credit Union 7:00 PM Short North's Got Talent @ Axis 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

11

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Devo @ Ohio State Fair 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

Wednesday

PM PM PM PM PM PM PM PM

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4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

2

26

and 2 more…

Barefoot Wines Rooftop Party $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 3 Wise Men @ Exile Leather & Fetish @ Flex Sabor de Columbus Grand Slam Sponsor Block CW & HipHop @ Wall St Disco Night @ Martini Park

4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

3:00 4:00 4:00 4:00 5:00 8:00 8:00 8:00

Home Run Derby @ Berliner Park

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

Bear Camp 2010: Hardball

5

6

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM DJ Fierce Tease @ Axis 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM Wingding on the Whittier 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM Je" Altergott @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

3

27

3:00 PM Silver Bullet Bash @ Renais! sance Hotel 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Mary Ann Brandt @ Wall Street 9:00 PM City Wide Sponsor Parties 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM Outdoor Beer Bust w/DJ Fierce Tease @ Axis 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

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7:00 PM Virginia West's Goddess @ Axis 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St

5:30 PM LGBT Night @ Zoombezi Bay 7:00 PM Virginia West's Goddess @ Axis 8:00 PM Mary Ann Brandt @ Wall Street 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St

Toledo Pride Festival

6:00 PM Closing Awards Ceremonies @ Berliner Park 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Grand Slam Sponsor Block 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 11:30 PM Temptation Party @ The LC

Legends Game @ Berliner Park

8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:00 PM Mr. All Ohio Bear Contest @ Wall Street 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis

20

NAGAAA Summer … Renaissance Hotel

14

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Fabulously Fluid Variety Show @ Wall Street 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

13

7 7:00 PM An Evening of the Arts @ Stonewall 7:30 PM [title of show] @ Club Diversi! ty 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St

Saturday

Welcome Receptio… Delegates @ Trafik

TransOhio Symposium

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 7:30 PM [title of show] @ Club Diversi! ty 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:00 PM First Fetish Friday @ Exile 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Fierce Tease @ Axis

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4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 7:00 PM Outlook Launch Party @ Mozaik 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

Thursday

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photography by robert trautman

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July 2010

Across the US & Overseas... You can depend on Kari Kerning

36-37(inside)_Calendar 7/26/10 9:54 AM Page 1

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11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 6:30 PM Wicked (closes) @ Ohio The! ater 7:00 PM Virginia West's Goddess @ Axis 8:00 PM Mary Ann Brandt @ Wall Street 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

29

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Farewell Brunch @ Lindey's, Level & Union 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level … Temptation Party @ The LC Pavilion 2:00 PM Columbus PFLAG 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

22

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 8:00 PM Miss Gay Softball Pageant @ Axis 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

TransOhio Symposium

Bear Camp 2010: Hardball

9:00 AM BNI Group One-to-Ones @ Panera Bread (Bethel) 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 4:00 PM [title of show] @ Club Diversi! ty 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 7:00 PM Back to the Garden 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

Sunday

Pride Holiday Events

Bars-Clubs

Networking

US Holidays

Special Events

2

10

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

30

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Wicked Benefit for BC/EFA @ Union 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

23

31

Location: Exile

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 7:30 PM 3 Olives with Jazz Mary @ Club D 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

Location: Exile

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 7:30 PM 3 Olives with Jazz Mary @ Club D 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

24

and 2 more…

17

and 3 more…

10:00 PM Karoake@Cavan

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 7:30 PM 3 Olives with Jazz Mary @ Club D 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

10:00 PM Nina's Birthday Party @ 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ … Dance Party @ Wall St 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 7:00 PM Outlook Night @ The Clippers 7:30 PM 3 Olives with Jazz Mary @ 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 9:00 PM Dog Tag Party @ Axis

16

3 9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 7:00 PM Edward Sharpe&Magnetic Ze! roes@ the Newport 7:30 PM 3 Olives with Jazz Mary @ Club D 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

Tuesday

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Softball Opening Ceremonies 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Host Bar Welcome Parties 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level

NAGAAA Sofball World Series

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 7:00 PM Pizza Mondays 7:30 PM [title of show] @ Club Diversi! ty 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

9

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

Monday

Softball World Series Event

August 2010

4

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

1

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

25

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM Prime Timers Happy Hour @ 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM TransWomen Peer Group 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM Talent Show @ Renaissance 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

18

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 6:00 PM Network Columbus @ Mem! bers First Credit Union 7:00 PM Short North's Got Talent @ Axis 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

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12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Devo @ Ohio State Fair 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

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4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

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Barefoot Wines Rooftop Party $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 3 Wise Men @ Exile Leather & Fetish @ Flex Sabor de Columbus Grand Slam Sponsor Block CW & HipHop @ Wall St Disco Night @ Martini Park

4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

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Home Run Derby @ Berliner Park

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

Bear Camp 2010: Hardball

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4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM DJ Fierce Tease @ Axis 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM Wingding on the Whittier 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM Je" Altergott @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

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3:00 PM Silver Bullet Bash @ Renais! sance Hotel 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Mary Ann Brandt @ Wall Street 9:00 PM City Wide Sponsor Parties 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM Outdoor Beer Bust w/DJ Fierce Tease @ Axis 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

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7:00 PM Virginia West's Goddess @ Axis 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St

5:30 PM LGBT Night @ Zoombezi Bay 7:00 PM Virginia West's Goddess @ Axis 8:00 PM Mary Ann Brandt @ Wall Street 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St

Toledo Pride Festival

6:00 PM Closing Awards Ceremonies @ Berliner Park 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Grand Slam Sponsor Block 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 11:30 PM Temptation Party @ The LC

Legends Game @ Berliner Park

8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:00 PM Mr. All Ohio Bear Contest @ Wall Street 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis

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NAGAAA Summer … Renaissance Hotel

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4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Fabulously Fluid Variety Show @ Wall Street 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

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7 7:00 PM An Evening of the Arts @ Stonewall 7:30 PM [title of show] @ Club Diversi! ty 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St

Saturday

Welcome Receptio… Delegates @ Trafik

TransOhio Symposium

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 7:30 PM [title of show] @ Club Diversi! ty 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:00 PM First Fetish Friday @ Exile 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Fierce Tease @ Axis

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Across the US & Overseas... You can depend on Kari Kerning

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kind of -philia! Thu, Fri and Sat through August 28 at 8p, Sun August 22 at 3p; $15 adults ($10 students).

The Number One Threat To America Mr. All Ohio Bear Contest @ Wall Street, 144 N High St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Exactly what it sounds like. It will be hot, in both the attractive and the hairy sense. Doors 8p, show 9p; cover.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 15 SUCH A SHINING STAR Jeffree Star @ The Basement, 391 Neil Ave, 614.461.5483, www.promowestlive.com: Head over to The Basement and catch everyone’s favorite Internet-Drogy-Celebrity Star. 6p; $12.

MONDAY, AUGUST 16 INSERT PITCHER/CATCHER JOKE HERE 2010 NAGAAA Gay Softball World Series @ Lou Berliner Park, www.gaysoftballworldseries.com: Columbus is home to this year’s gay softball world series, with over 150 championship teams. Games last through August 21. free.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 17 BASEBALL IS GAY! Outlook Night With The Clippers @ Huntington Park, 330 Huntington Park Lane, 614.462.2757, www.clippersbaseball.com: Take me out!

Sure sure, to the ballgame.

Join your favorite crew (aside from the Columbus Crew) for a night of hotdogs, ball and beer. Sounds like my last date.

7:05p; $3 - $15.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 19 THE SABOR OF LOVE Sabor de Columbus @ The Columbus Zoo, 9990 Riverside Dr., www.columbuszoo.org: Sample the best of Columbus’ Hispanic and Latin cuisine. Or take some home, microwave it and impress a date by saying you made it. 5:30p; $25 (call 614.505.6751 or visit www.hccolumbus.com).

FRIDAY, AUGUST 20 GOATS, GAYS, AFFAIRS…SOUNDS LIKE FRIDAY The Goat or Who Is Sylvia? @ Studio Two in the Riffe Center, 77 S High St, 614.469.0939,

SATURDAY, AUGUST 28 THAT’S NO SHARK’S FIN

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SATURDAY, AUGUST 14 A LOVE THAT’S SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE? WHY NO, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THAT AT ALL Arborphilia @ Columbus Civic Theater, 3837 Indianola Ave, www.raconteurtheatre.com: Girl x Tree. Democrat x Republican. Honestly, this play has a lot of kinky shit happening – and it’s not even my favorite

necessary; Free appetizers; 6FRIDAY, AUGUST 6 8p; free.

POODLE SKIRTS: THE NEW LEATHER Rock ‘N Roll Hits Columbus @ WE HOPE SO ANYWAY Columbus Historical Society, Short North’s Got Talent! @ 51 Jefferson Ave, Axis, 775 N High St, 614.224.0822, www.colum614.291.4008, www.columbushistory.org: Revisit the busnightlife.com: Dancing, golden years of Rock ‘N Roll singing and attempts at comwith this special event held by edy! And the show’s at Axis, so the Columbus Historical Soci- you can hang around afterety. Dance, twist and perhaps ward and use what you shout! See the vintage car learned to pick up boys. Call show, participate in the auc614.299.8050 for tickets. 7p; tion, eat the food or do what I $15 (advance) / $20 (door). do – hit the cash bar. 6:30p; $60/person or $100/couple.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 12 THEY DON’T BITE (UNLESS YOU ASK SATURDAY, AUGUST 7 NICELY) VAJAZZLING COUNTS AS ART, RIGHT? Bear Camp 2010: HARDBALL An Evening of the Arts @ @ Holiday Inn Capital Square, Center on High, 1160 N High 175 E Town St, www.columSt, 614.299.7764, busbears.com/cub/bearcamp: www.stonewallcolumbus.org: Hang with your fuzzy friends at Stop by the Center during the bars and events all across Short North’s August Gallery Columbus. Registration inHop! The evening will feature cludes most meals, access to an art show coordinated by Vendor Maul, activities and TransOhio in conjunction with lube wrestling at Trafik. the Transgender & Ally Sympo- Through August 15. $100 (besium (6-10p), an appearance fore August 7) / $110.

by Debra Shade, author of “Maybe She’s Right,” a story FRIDAY, AUGUST 13 about a female sex addict and AND WE’RE NOT EVEN IN TRANSYLVAher adventures (6-9p), and a NIA performance of the Vajazzle Transgender And Ally SympoMonologues, a “social-comsium @ OSU Multicultural edy” bound to make you shake Center at the Ohio Union, 1279 your head once or twice (7p).

N High Street, Evening of events 6-10p; Per- www.transohio.org: This year’s formance @ 7p; Wine and expanded Transgender and Ally snacks provided; free. symposium will take place over three days, with over 70 SUNDAY, AUGUST 8 workshops and seminars on BREAK OUT THOSE COWBOY BOOTS health, advocacy, the arts, and Rascal Flatts @ Columbus more. Through August 15; $40 Crew Stadium, One Black & - $150.

Gold Blvd, 614.447.CREW (2739), WISH I COULD BEND THAT WAY www.ticketmaster.com: Strap Fabulously Fluid @ Wall Street, 144 N High St, on your boots and throw on a hat because it’s time for Ras- 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: TransOcal Flatts to make their 4th appearance at Crew Stadium. hio’s variety show – $35, $60, $75; Show @ 7:30p. showcasing this year’s performers and speakers. And everything in-between. Doors 8p, show 9p; $5.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 11

HINT: NO CASTING COUCH NECESSARY

Network Columbus @ Members First Credit Union, 1445 W Goodale Blvd, 614.268.8525, www.networkcolumbus.com: Mingle with the best of Ohio’s progressive LGBT networking group. The evening’s discussion concerns how to make networking work for you. Steve Baldzicki of Big Fish Networking will be speaking. No RSVP

www.capa.com: Follow the GLBT Night at Zoombezi Bay story of Martin, a man who just @ Zoombezi Bay, 4850 West turned 50, his son just came Powell Road, www.zoombezout, and he’s been having an ibay.com: Enjoy an exclusive affair with Sylvia for six event at Crocktail island months. The twist? Sylvia is a (which hopefully involves goat. 8p; $20. crocktails of all flavors), followed by music videos in the Classic Queen (And We Don’t Wild Tides Wave Pool. So it’s Mean Bohemian Rhapsody) like a night out, but with water.

Mary Ann Brandt @ Wall 6p; $20 ($29.99 for all day zoo Street, 144 N High St, and water park pass).

614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: She only JUDGE WHILE YOU DRINK - AKA A puts on appearances for holi- NORMAL NIGHT OUT days. And for this Upper ArColumbus Food & Wine Affair lington superstar, Back to Wine Competition @ ColumSchool is the biggest holiday of bus Fish Market, 1245 Olenall. See the special on August tangy River Road, 20, 28 and 29. Doors 8p, Show www.foodandwineaffair.com: @ 9p; cover.

This year’s wine competition will be opened up for the first SATURDAY, AUGUST 21 time to thirty reserved guests.

TIME TRAVEL! GO BACK TO 1997!

Taste the competition and vote Hanson @ Newport Music on the People’s Choice Wine.

Hall, 1722 N High St, 8:30p; $50.

614.294.1659, www.promowestlive.com: Need we count the FINGERS CROSSED. TOGAS. hits? I think not. Catch Hanson GODDESS @ Axis Nightclub, in all their Mmbop glory along- 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, side Rooney. General admiswww.columbusnightlife.com: sion; All ages; Doors @ 7p; Virginia West stars, and she $25. certainly is! Celebrate the nearing end of summer by SUNDAY, AUGUST 22 going on a journey of the Greek CALL YOUR MOMMA! Gods & Goddesses. There will Columbus PFLAG @ Unitarian also be appearances from Universalist Church, 93 West Nina West, Maria Garrison, Weisheimer Rd, 614.267.4649, Freesia Balls, Natasha West, www.pflagcolumbus.org: Join Akasha O Hara Lords, Anisa the meeting of PFLAG’s Colum- Love, Alexis Stevens, Candy bus chapter. PFLAG meetings Panties, Sandy von Lipshitz, occur the fourth Sunday of Kari Kerning, Pretty Punasty every month. 2p-4p; free. and the West Family Dancers!

Don’t miss it! Doors @ 7p; THURSDAY, AUGUST 26 Show @ 8p; Tables $50; GenSAX-O-MO-PHONE eral admission $8.

Gene Walker @ The King Arts Complex Theatre, 867 Mount DOUBLE THE FUN! Toledo Pride Festival @ Vernon Ave, 614.645.KING (5464), www.thekingartscom- Toledo Civic Hall, 237 S Erie St (inside Erie Street Market), plex.com: For those of us www.equalitytoledo.org: Miss who’ve grown past the pop styling’s of Hanson (ie: we only Columbus’ Pride? Maybe you want round two? The Toledo listen to ‘Mmbop’ in private).

Pride Festival is sponsored by 6:30p; free.

Outskirts, Equality Toledo and several community members.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 27 3p – 1a; $5 from 3p-7p; $7 WE ONLY PRETEND OUR RIVER BURNS from 7p-1a.

WaterFire @ Genoa Park, www.waterfirecolumbus.com: MONDAY, AUGUST 30 The Dwight Lenox Jazz Band THERE’S A ZUCCHINI IN MY PANTS! performs, followed by the most Obetz Zucchini Festival @ hot stuff downtown since Memorial Park, 4175 Alum Pride. Indulge your artsy side. Creek Dr, 614.491.1080, 7:30p; free. www.obetzzucchinifest.com: Rides. Zucchini. Sounds good already. free!

• • • • • • • • • • • about town • • • • • • • • • • • SUNDAY, AUGUST 1 ANOTHER REMINDER THAT YOU’RE OLD Back to the Garden @ Schiller Park, www.woodstockmusical.com: Not only do the kids treat Woodstock like a retro fad, but Shadowbox went and made a musical about it.

Nothing to do but bling out your beads, cut your hair short in protest of today’s longhaired sentiments and enjoy some folks that were born after Woodstock talking about it as if they were there. 7p; free (donation suggested).

TUESDAY, AUGUST 3 START YOUR WHISTLIN’ PRACTICE Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros @ Newport Music Hall, 1722 N High St, 614.294.1659, www.promowestlive.com: You either love ‘em or you’ve never heard of ‘em. Presented by CD101, check out this amazing band bound to sing their hit single, “Home.” General admission; All ages; $15 adv, $18 day of; doors 7p.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 4 ARE WE NOT MEN? Devo @ The Ohio State Fair, www.ticketmaster.com; There’s a lot of talk about “busting out” things for events (beads, cowboy hats, whips and etc.) – but now let’s be serious. Bust out your energy pyramids. 7p; $30.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 5 LOTS OF PICTURES OF EXPLODING ROCKETS Outlook Launch Party @ Mozaik Lounge, 51 Vine St, 614.469.1000, www.mozaiklounge.com: Celebrate us, with us. Meet the sassy voices behind this fabulous magazine.

Oh, and there’s booze. Presented by Dimensional Entertainment. 7p; free.

BUST OUT THE PITCHFORKS 8: The Mormon Proposition @ The Gateway Film Center, 1550 N High St, 614.545.2255, www.gatewayfilmcenter.com: GFC and Stonewall team up for another installment in the OUTTakes film series. But there’s nothing funny about this one… Until you let outlook at it: “8: The Mormon Proposition? Sounds like a bad Mormon porn – oh!” 8p; $5.

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Reducing the “Threat Level” of Passports

by Tara Allison With all of the increased security that we face, a trip through an airport can become a dreaded ordeal, for even the most seasoned of travelers.

Increased scrutiny of our travel documents, our persons, and our possessions can be embarrassing, time-consuming and absolutely maddening. Few people look forward, with great glee, to the gauntlet of today’s airport security.

Seriously… only a masochist craves the opportunity to be “singled-out” for a little “additional attention” from our friendly airport security screeners.

In August of 2009, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) implemented their “Secure Flight” program, which required passengers to provide their birth date and gender, when they booked an airline ticket. This new policy was intended to help the TSA to distinguish passengers from those on the government’s “watch list” (also called the “no-fly” list). While this was a very minor addition to the security burden of most travelers, imagine what this small change meant to the average transgender individual.

“Transition” for a transgendered person is the process in which – over a period of time – an individual changes every aspect of their life from one gender to the other. It is a process; it doesn’t happen over night. Personal appearance and wardrobes change, and hormones slowly begin changing our physical attributes. Typically, the transitioning person petitions the local probate court for a new name that conforms to their new outlookcolumbus.com

gender. Following that name change, all of our documentation – including things like our driver’s license, social security card, credit cards, and passport – must be updated to reflect new name and, on some documents our new gender.

All of these changes take time, and often during this period, the transitioning person must travel, for various reasons, such as work, family obligations, vacation, or even medical procedures.

Imagine facing the current level of our airport security, knowing that you’re going into the situation with documents that don’t completely match your new, outward appearance. To say that this scenario is intimidating is an understatement; it’s a scenario that most people never have to face, but it’s one that transgender people face regularly. If my passport has a female picture of me, and a female name, but has a gender marker that is male, what gender do I give, when I book my travel?? What if my driver’s license also lists my gender as female?

As a general rule of thumb, transgender people prefer to avoid scrutiny. In the very least, increased scrutiny can make for an uncomfortable situation; however, it can also result in putting people at risk of discrimination, harassment, and even physical violence. Consider the situation where a transgender person must travel abroad, to (or through) countries, where revelation of their transgender status could pose a serious threat to their personal safety. Few situations are more stressful to a transgender person than those where they must intentionally “out” themselves to others. Generally, we prefer to pass quietly by, without unnecessary addi-

tional attention.

Until recently, the U.S. State Department required proof of “irreversible sex reassignment surgery” before the gender marker could be changed on a passport (although there were exceptions for temporary, provisional passports that allowed a person to travel for the purpose of surgery). Unfortunately, the accepted medical “standards of care” require a transitioning person to live in the opposite gender for a minimum of one year, before he/she can even qualify for sex reassignment surgery. Additionally, not all medical treatment options for gender transition are appropriate for every person. Some people may have medical conditions that preclude surgical procedures; some cannot afford these medical treatments. As a result, the State Department requirement didn’t reflect the reality of transgender people’s lives. So, if a transitioning person needed to travel, before they could qualify to change the gender marker on their passport, they were stuck with the problem of “outing themselves” every time they presented their passport, regardless of the potential dangers. This situation happened to me, when I went on a cruise with a passport that reflected a completely female picture and name, but a male gender marker. At every port, I had to “out myself,” as I exited and returned to the ship.

With a little help from my travel partner, I was able to avoid having to present my passport to anyone, while touring the various ports. I dreaded that that scenario would arise.

nounced new guidelines for issuing passports to transgender people. Now, transgender people applying for a gender marker change on their passports will only need to submit certification from a physician that they have received “appropriate clinical treatment” for gender transition. Most importantly, “irreversible sex reassignment surgery” is not required under the new policy. Samples of an appropriate physician letter can be found on the web, and most physicians that deal regularly with the trans-community will likely be sympathetic to the need for this document change. I plan on asking my endocrinologist for a letter, to update my passport, during my next visit to her office.

With this new policy, and a little preparation, transgender people can breathe a little easier, as they face the ordeal of airport security. Certainly, we’re not going to be running through airports, hurtling security checkpoints like O.J. running through a Hertz commercial. But now, with documents that accurately reflect our true identity, it just became a lot less likely that we’ll have to hear those dreaded words: “I’m gonna need a minute to talk to my supervisor, about this.”

Tara McKenzie Allison, Esq., is a transgender attorney, who resides and practices law in Columbus, Ohio. She also serves as a Board Member and Legal Counsel to TransOhio, a nonprofit organization serving the transgender community of Ohio and providing educational and informational services to the general public. She is an active speaker on transgender and legal issues. She can be contacted through the TransOhio website, at www.transohio.org.

Fortunately, things have changed for the better.

As of June 10, 2010, the State Department an-

You mean cavity searches aren’t a common fetish?

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Pilgrimage and rot-gut Vodka

by Mickey Weems One great thing about NYC Pride is that you never know who you’ll meet.

Encyclopedia of Gay Folklife, she asked if I wanted to interview them myself. Talk about being in the right place at the right time!

Leslie Cohen related a recent event to me:

I made a pilgrimage to Christopher Park the day before the parade and festival on Sunday so I could take pictures of the Gay Liberation Monument and the Stonewall Inn. The monument is comprised of four bronze statues covered in white paint, two men standing together and two women sitting together.

A documentary was being filmed about the statues when I arrived. Leslie Cohen and Beth Suskin, the models for the women seated in the Gay Liberation Monument, were being videotaped for Written in Stonewall (Bianca Lanza, producer) while sitting with the life-size images of themselves.

The two women who posed for the statues were there right in front of me! Some 30 years later, they still look like their images.

I asked Bianca Lanza if I could take a picture of the women with their statues. When she found out that I am the chief editor of the upcoming

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“We were walking back to the apartment where we were staying after visiting Long Island, and we decided to visit the statues. There was a homeless man lying up against the statue of me and when he saw us looking he said, referring to the statue: ’I talk to this woman all the time. She is my friend.’

“Then Beth told him we were the models for the statue and at first he didn’t believe us, but when he took a close look at us and then the statues, he went wild, calling all his friends over. It happens every time we’re at the sculpture and anyone finds out we were the models.

People get very excited and relate their personal stories and relationships to the sculpture and everyone seems to have one.”

The experience of meeting Leslie and Beth, who have stayed together as a couple for all these years, brought me to tears, which the film crew dutifully documented, all the more proof for my

husband that I am a big crybaby.

But when in Rome...

But there was trouble brewing.

We ended up having a total blast, with music, liquor, people dancing together (mostly Straight men and myself), and police turning a blind eye.

I was the most fun I’ve had with my pants on in a very long time. Tunes from some of my favorite artists, including Evelyn Champaign King (who has recently made a come-back with a hot deep-house song, “One More Time”), pumped from the small portable CD player that the hardcore Lesbian had turned up to full volume, film crew and the rest of the world be damned.

Some of the local characters that frequent the park were making loud noises and fighting amongst themselves. I had the impression that they were displeased with a camera crew coming into their favorite place to relax, and they were purposely acting more raucous than necessary.

I went over to the three loudest people and offered to buy them a beer at Stonewall, hoping to give the camera crew a break. Instead, the loudest one convinced me to accompany him to a nearby liquor store, where we bought cheap vodka and clear plastic cups. So here we were in Christopher Park: me, four Straight street people, a hardcore out-and-proud Lesbian who took no shit, and assorted other players, all of us drinking in public, in an urban drama that I was sure would climax in my arrest.

I pictured myself calling my husband Kevin back in Columbus “Hi baby! I’m on the evening news! Can you post bail?”

I have a bust of Chris Hayes I go to for advice, but I don’t think this is the same.

At one point, I was sitting on Beth’s (the statue’s) lap, drink in hand, describing the Stonewall Riots to a group of young women visiting from Baltimore.

I left at sunset with regrets - we were having such a good time. Upon reflection, I realize now that I had experienced my own Stonewall moment, a complex clash of privilege, poverty and territorial dispute that was temporarily ‘ecstasized’ when people were of a mind to party.

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God, I hate that cop. He’s always such a jerk!

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All money is my favorite money.

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Close Encounters with My Own Kind: Why I Might Just Be a Gaysogynist

by Mikey Rox As summertime prepares to unleash its perspiratory fury, I’m asked the same question over and over regarding my warm-weather plans – “Going to Fire Island?”

The answer is always no. I’ve never been to Fire Island – and it’s not on the itinerary this year.

Understand that I’m not opposed to spending time on that isle of misfit homos and three-day hangovers, but it’s not on the top of my list.

Never has been, never will be. And there are two reasons why.

The first reason is that last year I was hired to write a press release about a well-known gay area of Fire Island in advance of the summer season. I accepted the assignment and set up an interview with the purveyor of said area to obtain more information and a couple of quotes.

For whatever reason, this dude had an attitude as soon as I walked in the door (which seems to be common among affluent members of our community, and someone should tell them that a mega ego doesn’t make up for shortcomings elsewhere).

Anyway, he sat down in front of me with all his pomp and jerkumstance and asked if I had ever been to the island. I was honest. He tried to intimidate me by probing for an explanation as to why I hadn’t been – and still I gave him the truth: I don’t need “gay” resorts or cruises or bars to validate my sexuality. I prefer not to segregate myself. I want to enjoy a weekend away with my fiancé without having to flip-flop stomp a triflin’ hoe for not keeping his hands to himself. All are valid reasons to avoid Fire Island, in my opinion.

I can’t say that I was surprised when the middle-aged douche bag nearly lost his mind (and remaining strands of silver hair) and verbally assaulted me by suggesting that I’m discrimioutlookcolumbus.com

nating against my “own kind” by choosing not to participate in gay activities.

As they say, that’s all she wrote.

As the meeting continued to take a dusty-whitenose dive, he essentially fired me from the project because, as someone who’s never been to Fire Island, I wasn’t “capable of writing a good press release” about it.

Like the Fire Island man who fired me, this control freak waiter doesn’t like when people tell him things he doesn’t want to hear either. So he flipped his shit.

I disagreed (I’m an award-winning writer, and I know it doesn’t take a Pulitzer Prize to churn out one sheet of marketing copy about a vacation destination), but I respected his opinion. I was offended, though, when he suggested that I didn’t like gay people.

That day and his words have stayed with me since then. In fact, I’ve thought about it a lot.

And as much as I wanted to knock him off his gold-plated throne then, now I think he was right. Not so much about my capability as a writer (I still think I could vomit a press release in my sleep that’ll have the boys lining up at the dock), but rather that I have something against the gays.

A few minutes later (I’m still chatting with my friends, unaware of what had happened between my fiancé and the waiter), the waiter comes up to me to ask if I’d like another beer. He leaves for a minute and returns to hand me an empty bottle. Naturally I was confused.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” I asked him.

That situation is reason number two why I don’t like gay people. Most of us don’t know when enough is enough. We think we can have whatever we want when we want it – and if we don’t get it, we throw tantrums wherever the hell the most people are congregating.

It’s not becoming, and it’s not something of which I want to be a part. Which brings me back to taking a gay vacay. Why in the name of Lady Gaga would I drop all kinds of cash to spend a weekend covering my crotch, defending my relationship, and otherwise telling bitches to back the fuck off?

It’s absurd. And it’s a primary reason why the majority of the world doesn’t like us.

“You figure it out,” he snaps back.

Pause. Count to 10. Recoil.

As I reached down to place the bottle on the floor, the waiter barked, with an effeminate scowl and what can only be described as signature snark, “If you put that bottle on the floor, I’ll have you kicked out of here.”

We segregate ourselves, but demand inclusion.

We cry discrimination, yet we discriminate. We claim gay isn’t all about sex, but many of us are so hyper-sexualized that we need an intervention.

Yeah, I’m probably going to get a lot of flack for this article. But I don’t give a damn. It’s about time someone told all those crotchety, entitled gays out there to grow up.

I don’t have an issue with all gays, mind you – I have very good gay friends – but for the most part I don’t want to have anything to do with all the drama that follows young (and eternally, if not tragically young) gay guys around like a swarm of venomous bees.

Savor this, because I did: If I could have dropped that bottle on the floor any faster, I’d have set a world record.

Take a night out with my fiancé this past winter, for instance.

True to his threat, the waiter had security escort me out. But what he didn’t know is that I’m not a pushover.

As someone dear to me once said after an encounter with a particularly nasty person: “She thinks she’s hot snot on a silver platter, but she’s just a cold booger on a paper plate.” The moral of that anecdote? The world doesn’t revolve around you, honey.

I peacefully exited the bar and asked for a manager. I explained the situation – how the waiter hit on my fiancé, was turned down, got his 2(x)ist all twisted, asked me if I wanted another drink, then handed me an empty beer.

Regardless of what they told you at Abercrombie training camp.

After dinner we stopped by Barracuda, a divey watering hole in the Chelsea area of New York City, for a couple of drinks. We scored a few chairs around a table near the back where we sat with some friends. While I was chatting with our friends, a bartender took it upon himself to make a move on my fiancé. Immediately, my guy explained to him that he wasn’t interested and that he was with me.

Five minutes later, the waiter was leaving the bar – likely heading home to search for a new job.

To be fair, all of us should always be covering our crotch – it’s called protection, use it.

Mikey Rox is an award-winning writer/journalist and the principal of Paper Rox Scissors, a marketing and advertising company in New York City. He can be reached at mikey@paperroxscissors.com.

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Going ‘Not Gay’ on Vaca

by Mario Pinardi I am an airplane whore. I love to be on planes, leaving to go somewhere new or even familiar. I have often thought that I should have been a flight attendant (anyone hiring?). Hubby and I try to take two long vacations a year, since our work life is so opposite. The hard part about traveling with Hubby is picking a destination - we are both well traveled, and our passports look like we went clubbing for years with all of the stamps in them.

I think traveling is one of the most important aspects of my relationship with Hubby. We are both natural explorers, and we are both pretty ballsy when it comes to exploring new places.

Planning our vacations can be the stressful part; this includes dealing with airlines, transfers, transportation, and lodging, of course. When planning a vacation, we tend to focus on the destination(s), and are not concerned about our “gayness.” I mean really, I could never hide who I am, unless I took some magic potion to make me a straight linebacker. We have been to several atypical gay destinations, such as rural Alaska and Jamaica - and, we have come out fine, without scarring. My friends often do not understand why we choose not to go on gay-only vacations all of time. My response is usually laughter, and then I respond by saying that I really do not need to be

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around THAT much gay all the time (Plus, the smell of cheap lube & suntan oil is really not appealing to me).

Most of the time, Hubby and I go on mainstream, non-gay vacations or cruises because they tend to be more relaxing and require less meticulous packing. For example, we are going on a gay cruise soon, and the amount of “special theme events” (i.e. tea parties) is unreal. You feel obligated to invest money & time to create a costume for each event, along with packing outfits to wear when not in costume. This stresses me out. Then, add on the stress of being “Rubenesque” on a gay cruise for swimsuit purposes.

Ugh. I need anxiety meds just to get there. On the last few mainstream vacations we have been on, it has been mainly Europeans, and for me, this has been more relaxing. I felt less body conscious and less apprehensive about packing. The European crowds, overall, has a more nonchalant view about gay life, and are very open about asking questions if they are curious about something - not a lot is taboo with them.

There is also the financials. Vacations are not cheap. I work two jobs to supplement my travel habit. Hubby works in the healthcare industry and is compensated a lot more, whereas I work in the creative media field and do not make as

much as he does. So, we carefully plan out what is doable and what is not. Gay-only vacations tend to be pricier than mainstream vacations, and you can get the same itineraries for less on a straight vacation. A good example is that there is an all-gay vacation planned in March 2011 for a new cruise ship launching, and the starting price point for a cabin is $1,100 more than the same itinerary for the mainstream version of this cruise.

Gay events companies justify the cost by claiming they have to pay “top billing” or “well-known” entertainers. Well known to whom? The two gay vacations that I have been on recently I only knew of the one of the entertainers - a drag queen because I saw her in Provincetown many times. If 1200 passengers are paying an extra $1000 per room on a gay vacation, how come we are not being entertained by the likes of Meryl Streep, Michelle Pfeiffer, or Nathan Lane? I do not think booking reality show cast-off is that expensive, and why not use that mark up for added amenities, like a bottle of liquor per room or a free soft drink package? The other justification gay events companies use for the inflated cost is that some folks do not want to vacation with “straights.”

This reason I get, but is it a reason to inflate the cost? If I am not out in my small town in Middle America, am I really going to be able to justify the

I thought ‘airplane’ was a euphemism for something else giant.

cost of a gay vacation? Some people do, and more power to them, but most do not. Now, don’t take my rant the wrong way, a gay vacation provides an important outlet for the GLBT community to feel a sense of comfort & solidarity, however, how inclusive & reasonable is that level of comfort & solidarity? We go on the infrequent gay vacation because of the destination, not because of our need to be around gays.

So, when you are thinking about traveling this summer, look at places where you would feel totally comfortable and seek destinations that are new. Don’t be afraid. And, always vacation within your means, even though, gay media states otherwise. Seriously, I want to meet the advertising executive who thinks all gay men travel with Louis Vuitton luggage, wear Gucci loafers, and have .03% body fat. If this can be proven true, then I will shave & moisturize that executive’s balls or vajayjay!

By the time, you read this article; Hubby and I will be in the Baltics, with many other homos. I look forward to posting stories and anecdotes for friends to read on Facebook. Bon voyage, and remember lust is a universal language licked by all.

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Model #5 is showing some ass, we’re just a cruel production department.

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Gay Games Feature Drama, Intrigue & Sport

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The Gay Games VIII Cologne 2010: July 31 - August 7

Columbus Swimmer Travels to Cologne, Germany to Compete in Gay Games

the outstanding issues between the FGG and Synergy are resolved.”

Feeling up for a trip to Germany? An expression of Pride on a worldwide level, “Be Part of It!” is the motto for the Gay Games VIII Cologne 2010, and wouldn’t you like to be a part of it? Cologne, Germany, is hosting the weeklong games and cultural events and expects over 10,000 competitors (the VII games in Chicago 2006 had over 11,500 contestants from 70 countries) and nearly 2000 cultural event participants for the massive games and arts festival. The Gay Games are one of the largest amateur athletic events in the world and Cologne is ready to be a part of it, are you?

“Columbus is the perfect place to come out,” says Corey Beck, a 28-year-old swimmer who is vigorously training to go to Cologne, Germany to represent Ohio Splash at the Gay Games.

Though the letter does not provide any specific details of the split, the action does leave the games without an organizer at the moment. Although for the most part, FGG representatives are not commenting on developments, enough information has emerged to suggest that CSF is being reorganized for its mission to be more narrowly focused on delivery of Gay Games IX, likely accompanied by a change in the personnel involved. While it’s still expected that the Gay Games will be in Cleveland in four years, it’s up for debate who’s going to be organizing it.

Backers of CSF took credit for securing Cleveland as 2014’s host city, a decision the FGG made in September.

With a total of 35 athletic disciplines being held during the games, there’ll be plenty of sports action. A wide range of sports, from chess to sailing, bodybuilding to figure skating and team sports like soccer and or volleyball will continue throughout the week. The first Gay Games took place in 1982 in San Francisco, bringing together 1,350 athletes from a dozen countries. Like the Olympics, the Games have been held every four years since in world-class cities. In 2006, Gay Games VII in Chicago attracted 11,500 participants from 70 countries. Imagine the possibilities visiting such an event in a city as old and prestigious as Cologne, Germany, would create. Though the registrations for competitors closed at the end of May, there is always room for volunteers and spectators alike.

The games are not the only attraction in Cologne, however. A city that has been “partying for 2000 years,” The Gay Games Village comprises a series of stages located in various parts of the of town centre. Choruses, bands and cheerleading squads will perform both here and in other venues to ensure that both residents and visitors to Cologne experience the “Gay Games feeling.” And as in every Gay Games, the International Rainbow Memorial Run will commemorate the victims of HIV/AIDS and breast cancer.

The Gay Games are the legacy of Dr. Tom Waddell, a decathlon competitor for the US in the 1968 Olympics, who conceived of the games as an opportunity for gays and lesbians to compete in a forum of equality, and to show the world that their skills on the playing field were equal to the rest of humanity. Dr. Waddell felt that the games could promote better understanding of the GLBTQ community through sport. Anyone can participate, regardless of age, race, orientation, gender, political or religious beliefs or physical abilities, and the athletes represent the cities they come from, not their country.

The Gay Games define winning as achieving one’s personal best. Competitions are held in accordance with international standards and rules of the relevant association, and most will recognize any records set.

Out for only one year, The Ohio State University PhD student in Chemistry, was a high school swimmer, and was on the college’s varsity crew team for two years.

After high school, Corey gained some weight, and knew he would need to get in shape if he wanted to compete. Through cardiovascular and strength training, Corey lost 112 pounds, and slimmed down to a lean 168 pounds. Corey is training for several difficult events, including 200 Butterfly, 100 Butterfly, 200 individual medley (IM), and both the 1500 and 800 Freestyle. He has a good chance of placing for a medal in his age group.

He joined Ohio Splash, a United States Masters Swimming (USMS) club, to swim in a gay friendly environment, which has allowed him to meet people with a common interest. “They all wanted to stay healthy,” says Beck. He will be swimming with Ohio Splash outdoors this summer at the Jewish Community Center three nights a week. The coached practices allow members to improve their swimming technique to a more advanced level.

As a coed club, all swimmers at any level are welcome to join.

As a non-profit team, Ohio Splash is in transition, and is moving away from an organization dependent on donations. In fact, the team has 19 members who have registered for the summer season. The goal is still to provide camaraderie and fitness at a reasonable cost. Corey, who is a Denver native, likes Columbus and the gay community. “People are so open. We are a part of life here and we have done so much for the community.”

Cleveland Gay Games 2014 May Be In Jeopardy Just as the Gay Games 2010 are about to kick off in Cologne, Germany, it appears trouble might be brewing for the 2014 Gay Games in Cleveland, Ohio. On July 6, the City of Cleveland issued a letter to the Cleveland Synergy Foundation (CSF) informing the group that the Federation of Gay Games (FGG) is terminating Synergy’s license agreement for Gay Games 2014 and the city is halting all funding pending resolution. The letter came from Tracey A. Nichols, Director of the City of Cleveland Department of Economic Development and reads in part: “On July 6, 2010, The Federation of Gay Games, Inc. (FGG) notified Cleveland Synergy that FGG was exercising its right to terminate the license agreement… In light of the notice given to Synergy by the FGG, the City hereby notifies Synergy that it is suspending any further payments to Synergy until

Water cowboys are the most wily critters this side of the Mississippi. Bang Bang!

Through Jeff Axberg, a CSF representative, this statement was issued: “As the organization licensed to produce the 2014 Gay Games, the Cleveland Synergy Foundation remains committed to bringing this important, civic, cultural and economic event to the Cleveland/Akron region. The Cleveland Synergy Foundation has met all of its commitments to the Federation of Gay Games. We look forward to quickly resolving any questions the Federation may have, and moving forward in the same spirit of teamwork and collaboration that won the Games for Cleveland/Akron. The licensing agreement between Synergy and the Federation of Gay Games clearly articulates a process to resolve any questions or conflicts. As outlined in the mutually endorsed agreement, this process should begin with a meeting of the two groups’ steering committees. If that meeting leaves questions unanswered, the groups’ boards of directors are then required to meet. Only if those first two meetings result in an impasse would mediation be an appropriate third step, according to the agreement. We have requested that the Federation join us in following this process of resolution in order to maintain the integrity of our organization, the FGG, and the future of the Gay Games movement. It is imperative that Gay Games remain an event created by the LGBT community, for the LGBT community, with the partnership and support of the host city. We are confident that once our steering committees and boards of directors meet, it will be clear to all involved that Synergy remains on schedule to deliver the world-class event the community envisioned and the Federation endorsed.”

This isn’t the first stumbling block for Gay Games 2014, since it was announced the games would take place in Cleveland.

Last week, bidders from Boston and Washington, D.C., suggested foul play was involved in Cleveland’s selection.

Stay tuned....

For more information, go to www.gamescologne.com/, www.gaygames.com and www.Ohiosplash.org.

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Keep the hedges trimmed, no one likes a thick landing strip.

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Cape Town:

The ‘Bottom’ of Africa

by Marcus L Morris I just returned from the most adventurous six months of my entire life. I saw South Africa, Paris, and London. Now I am back in CowTown with a report on my life since I hung up my outlook jockstrap in January. Being from a small Ohio town and growing up with parents on a factory salary, I never imagined I’d see so much of the world. Over the past year I have been fortunate to visit 4 countries on 3 continents, and now have a desire to see everything our planet has to offer.

I’ve caught the ‘travel bug.’ The world is not so big when you believe things are not so far.

I left Columbus in January and was excited for the approaching adventure; my husband, Jason, and I were on our way to study for the semester at the University of Cape Town.

We spent an excruciating and hectic 28 hours on a South African Airways (SAA) flight from CMH to Cape Town, via Senegal and Johannesburg. We arrived at Cape Town around 10p and got a taxi to a fleabag hotel - a real shithole. Note to travelers: anything below 4 stars is a probably a horrible place. Our hotel was 3 stars, and was similar to a hotel in The Bottoms. Within two days we found a cute fully furnished flat in the trendy Woodstock neighborhood, and moved ourselves in.

Within no time, we had the desire to venture out further than our neighborhood. While our neighborhood was trendy, it was not totally gentrified and quite dangerous at night. South Africa can be pretty dangerous, so there is no such thing as walking to a bar alone at night. We would leave our flat, and its 3 security doors, only to get into a cab and go to the Pink Strip, the gay Mecca of Cape Town, where we were privy to experience the Pride Parade.

Der Waterkant is the gay friendly neighborhood of Cape Town. It contains the Cape Town equivalent to Union: Manhattan’s. Manhattan’s is located in the heart of Der Waterkant. The waiters are usually cute gay men from Zimbabwe or rural South Africa, and food and drinks are cheap.

For a dance party, one must head to Crew. Crew is like Axis, but on steroids. The bartenders are ALL straight guys and all beauties. They wear briefs while making drinks, and flirt with the boys. You get to look, but not touch. It’s like a typical gay game. The boys dance on the bar Coyote Ugly-style, and all have amazing asses. There are other bars like the girl heavy Beulah’s, and Bronx, a bar catering to the Trade Winds/Exile crowd. I personally liked Amsterdam, a bear bar with pool tables. The bar is old-school gay in an alley, and old-school gay in the men.

Here is the issue that one could run into while partying in South Africa: the pours are less than half what we are used to. The shot jiggers look like thimbles. You must ALWAYS order a double and pre-gaming is always a good idea. Taxis are a must and can be fairly inexpensive when in a group.

Outside of that, you will have a fab time partying in Cape Town.

After a night of partying, the best option for a hangover cure is to head to the beach. The travel sites usually recommend that you go to the insanely popular Camps Bay. It is very

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I can’t ‘top’ that pun.

South Beach, and filled with great restaurants and cafes.

There is plenty of people-watching and shopping. My advice is to visit Camps Bay for dinner and drinks. The beach is a bit family-friendly. There are just too many kids at Camps Bay, and it’s not really conducive to recovering from double gin and tonics.

My fave option is a picnic on the beach. Go to the local Pick and Pay and get the things you want for a brunch or lunch.

The grocery stores are smaller and a bit more hectic than your local Giant Eagle. Take your feast and head to the more private and very G-A-Y Clifton Beach.

Clifton Beach is next to Camps Bay, and a little less touristy.

There are 4 beaches hidden by rocks. The gay beach is the 3rd Beach, or as the locals call it, Clifton 3. There are guys walking around selling ice creams and Coca-Colas, and an entire beach full of men in speedos. I loved this beach! And not just for the throngs of nearly naked men. Although it was quite nice, there was not a cruise-y vibe to it. Yet, heads will turn if you have a good body. People were actually just hungover and wanting to get some sun.

We sat on the beach for hours, and ran into the ice-cold surf to cool off. Being mixed-race, I thought I was ok to go without sun block. Wrong! My typically light brown skin was maroon. I didn’t sleep for the next few days because my skin was on fire, and my up-and-coming neighborhood had no stores that sold aloe lotion. Then I peeled for the next few weeks. The lesson here is to wear at least 50 SPF at the beach and reapply on the half hour. In addition avoiding the hardcore rays, you might avoid swimming in the ocean. It’s filled with rocks, and it is a well-known Great White Shark breeding ground. Just sayin’.

After spending the past six months in Cape Town, and taking really amazing jaunts up the Western Cape, and to the Robertson Valley Vineyards, I have such a wonderful opinion of Cape Town and of South Africa. I managed to see a world that my family and friends may never see. A world that is at once dangerous and captivating with its breathtaking beauty. Trips up Table Mountain or a scenic drive to Fish Hoek are experiences I simply cannot erase. There are plenty of things to see and do in South Africa and I recommend it to everyone. Every kind of activity is available: hiking, mountain climbing, sky diving, bungee jumping, hang gliding, zorbing, kayaking, wine tasting tours, tours to the Cape of Good Hope, scuba diving, shark cage diving, going on a safari, township trips, museums, visiting Nelson Mandela’s prison on Robben Island, the list is endless.

Just remember that South Africa is not only 6 hours ahead of NY, but since the country is located in the southern hemisphere, the seasons are opposite to ours. Their currency is called the Rand and you can get about 7 of them for one US dollar. A glass bottle of Coke runs about 7.50 Rand. If driving on the left, using the metric system, and engaging with friendly people who usually speak more than one of the eleven official languages of the country sounds like a gay ole time, then this GLBT-friendly destination is worth the seemingly endless flight. You get to see the bottom of the world.

Everyone loves a bottom.

BAFANA! BAFANA!

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Wouldn’t mind getting my hands on those buns‌

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feature

I Need A Staycation

by Phillecia Cochran and Mackenzie Worrall photo by Gardner Dunn

The Girl

The Guy

It’s no secret, times are tough and people are doing what they can to cut back in this struggling economy. One industry that’s been hit the hardest, without seeing the benefits of a bailout, is the travel industry (members of the travel industry even released four print ads earlier this year criticizing President Obama and Congress for their lack of support, saying it’s costing many jobs in the industry).

You can’t start your day off right without a delicious and healthful breakfast. While Waffle House is always a safe bet at 3am, try your luck at Tasi Cafe, open seven days a week (sorry ladies, no clam dishes served here). This quaint shop, self-described as a back alley gem, offers a wide-range menu, including delicious breakfast scrambles and sandwiches. Tasi uses fresh, all-natural ingredients without any trans-fat, corn syrup, or other unnatural fillers. I recommend the Greek scrambled eggs with zucchini, tomato and feta cheese, only $6.

Most of my actual vacations turn into walking tours, so why deprive my staycation of that? German Village is a great place to spend a day ogling men on the street (bonus points: every third pair of joggers talk to each other in British accents). True to its name, the Village is a scrumptious sausage fest – and the bratwurst isn’t half-bad either. The secret to walking tours is to start belligerent. And what better place to get schmashed than Schmidt’s Sausage Haus?

Grab some tube steak and the bier sampler, then top off your morning by popping into Yosick’s Artisan Chocolates & Pastries and Espresso for some of the most exotic and eyepleasing delights in the city.

According to Bing Travel, airfare rates are up while hotel rates are down. So what does that mean exactly? People are doin’ the sexy in their own towns rather than tourist destinations.

Take time off work and discover the playground of your own city, while taking in the comfort of your own home. Or take advantage of those low hotel rates. The Westin in Columbus has rates as low as $200 a night, while the Hyatt Regency and Hyatt on Capitol Square have nightly rates from $189 and $199. And don’t forget, most hotels offer various discounts including special prices for AAA members (sorry, no NLA discounts).

While many Columbus-natives may gripe that there’s nothing to do here (something we’ve all found ourselves saying from time to time), that’s simply not true. “It’s kind of a two-sided coin,” Corey Montie, owner and founder of Dimensional Entertainment explains. “No, it’s not a big city – but it’s not about the quantity of things to do.” Dimensional’s staff gathers as much information as they can about events going on around the city, then they filter through that and organize gatherings for their members. “People may not fully understand what’s out there.”

With that said, let’s take a look at what one guy and one girl suggest for an out-of-the-norm day in (or just outside of) Columbus.

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After breakfast, drive (or better yet, save money and the environment and walk) less than two miles to COSI. Columbus’ Center of Science and Industry was recently ranked the number one science center in the country. There until September 6, you can check out “Titanic: The Artifact Exhibition.” Call me a science/history geek, but you can’t really go wrong with a Titanic exhibit at a place like COSI. Admission to the Titanic exhibit, COSI’s other exhibits and live shows are less than $24 per person.

Now, if your staycation is (and should be) Columbus-based, take a day or even just a couple hours and hit up an area outside of Columbus. Westerville, just a 20-minute drive from downtown, offers an array of shops in historic Uptown. Antique shops, consignment shops, Schneider’s Bakery, and coffee shops line the strip making for a comfortable evening walk. Westerville also hosts the “Fourth Friday” event every month showcasing local vendors.

Java Central, a coffee shop in Uptown, is home to live music (professional and open mic) on Fridays and Saturdays. They also offer a wide variety of yummy espresso-based beverages including the Phillatte, an out-of-this-world white chocolate and caramel concoction created by yours truly (hence the name). Don’t worry they have coffee-free stuff too.

Move into your afternoon by picking up a latesummer read at The Book Loft, Columbus’ most charming (and most Labyrinth-esque) bookshop. With 32 rooms, this discount bookstore has something for everyone – even an extensive LGBT section. A lot of that may be erotica, but I’m not complaining. Now take your friends, books, aching feet and any remaining chocolate over to Schiller Park where you too can be one of the hot men who go to the park to read. Take a break for dinner at Barcelona, just two blocks from the park, and split dinner tapas style with your crew. For dessert, head back to Schiller for Actors’ Theatre production of Dark of the Moon (you’ve already had enough chocolate today).

Stand up one last time for the ovation, then do yourself a favor and hit up Club Diversity on High street for an evening of martinis and men in one of their backyard gazebos.

What about astrological events? That doesn’t involve asking what sign your date is? True, you can see the Perseid Meteor Shower all over the northern hemisphere for a thirty day span, but have you noticed the pink atmospheric glow that Columbus gives off? Drive until you can see the stars (where the streets have no name – just county road numbers), then bust out the blankets and wine. The peak night for this year’s

Can you tell us who wrote the 90s hit “Stay with me?” Hint: it’s not your sister.

shower is August 12 and the moon sets early. In 2009, the zenith’s hourly rate was over a hundred meteors each hour. And if you make a wish for each one, that’s a lot of Betty White hosting SNL over the next year.

At the rear end of the month is GLBT night at Zoombezi Bay. There are so many dirty jokes to make about this whole affair, that I’m just gonna leave it there and we’ll be professional for the rest of this article, okay? The proceeds benefit Stonewall Columbus, so there’s a cash bar, DJ Sean at the tide pool and a fabulous-spangled cast of performers including Sable Coat, Royal Renegades and Viva and the Velvet Hearts to name a few. It’s like Pride, but with water… and a splash zone. I wonder who will get me wet? (Damn, I was so close to the end too.)

The Goods And we could go on. But if you don’t care for our coffee shop bohemian lifestyle (a staycation is also known as the intern’s vacation for a reason), check out Dimensional’s brand new website (www.dimensionalentertainment.com).

Starting this month, basic membership is free (but there are benefits for the modestly priced premium membership). In August, they’re organizing laser tag in the park, nights out, sailing lessons and brew at the zoo. So even if you don’t get out because you’re too lazy to do research, Dimensional will do the work for you.

Go to work tomorrow, request a week off and turn off your phone. Just for good measure, take some parting advice from Corey: “Go out and be willing to have fun.”

P.S. – Hunky Corey Montie’s favorite staycation activities include a fresh fruit breakfast at the North Market, the Gahanna Creekside festival, beer tasting at Elevator Brewing Company and long walks on the beach.

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Math is the main cause of high school kids starting to smoke.

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I wonder how this pensive guy is able to project his thoughts.

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A Traditional Art Form with Modern Implications: Why Opera Columbus’ 2010-2011 Season is Relevant NOW

by Erica Post There is no debate that in recent years, many traditional art forms have been struggling due to the economic downturn and the exponential growth of pop culture.

Opera Columbus is no exception.

In some ways, these changes seem to have shoved many traditional art forms, like opera, to the back burner, where they are forced to languish in exile, away from mainstream media and promotion, with their often too small, but extremely loyal, following. Arts organizations have tried to update many productions, placing sets, costumes, and the general presentation of the production into modern times. Many consider the heyday of classical art forms to be long past, and it is not unusual for adults to have never set foot inside an art museum, let alone attended a professional level ballet performance or an opera.

Opera Columbus is trying to change all that.

When you think of opera, you might be likely to think of long, drawn out spectacles, consisting of loud singing and a rather drab plot.

Opera Columbus is ready to prove you wrong.

In the case of opera, people seem to be initially turned off by its foreign language component and a story line, which, in most cases, is something you may not find in mainstream media and culture. Or, is that really true?

Opera

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Columbus is presenting a modern, sexy season this year. And who says opera can’t be sexy?

When was the last time you watched the news and didn’t hear about murder? A bout of infidelity?

A social struggle? A broken contract? A gross misunderstanding?

Patriotism? What if you were to learn that Opera Columbus’ season offers commentary on all of these issues, and more?

Let’s take our fall offering, Kurt Weill’s Berlin to Broadway, into consideration. Assembled after Weill’s death by Gene Lerner, Berlin to Broadway is a fully staged, costumed, revue of Kurt Weill’s life and work through the use of his own music. A German-American composer who wrote everything from opera to musical theater during the first half of the twentieth century, Weill’s life story is one fraught with struggle, intrigue, and small triumphs. Berlin to Broadway spans 20 eventful years of his life - from his experience of and escape from Nazi Germany, to the times of FDR and Truman in the United States, where he became a renowned citizen and a master of the Broadway musical.

During Weill’s musical journey, he created some of the most alluring and gritty characters, such as the gangster Macheath, whom the song “Mack the Knife” was written about. It details Mack’s many murders and crimes, including rape, arson, and a “disappearance.”

Sung by popular artists from Louis Armstrong to Sting, American Idol star Clay Aiken to Lyle Lovett and Bing Crosby, it is an enduringly catchy tune with dark connotations when put into context. And that is only one song in a show of over 30, each a social commentary on relationships between people the under-privileged, the gangster, the prostitute, the Good Samaritan, the immigrant - and it makes a stunning study of society at large. Collaborating with a dazzling array of literary giants over his lifetime (from Langston

Hughes to Ira Gershwin to Bertolt Brecht), his work offers insight into the things people do when they think no one is watching. Weill has a knack for making the audience just a little uncomfortable, and for tackling taboo subjects in a way that will keep you thinking long after you leave the theater.

The Marriage of Figaro, Opera Columbus’ second offering this season, is one of the most popular operas of all time, and some consider it to be the very best. The story itself was controversial from its conception. Written by Pierre Beaumarchais in 1778 as the second story in the Figaro Trilogy while the beginnings of unrest were stirring in France, its denouncement of the privileges of the nobility, portrayal of women as the mental and moral superiors of men, and portrayal of the somewhat rebellious servant as the hero, led to its censorship six times by the government before it could be publicly performed. King Louis XVI remarked that it was “detestable and unplayable,” but contemporary artists and intellectuals recognized it for what it was - a witty, charming piece of literature that offered an insightful glance into the nobility and social structure of its time.

Over 200 years later, the story of The Marriage of Figaro still fascinates, in a world where sex sells, and power– whether political, social, or economic - is wielded for personal advancement often out of a sense of entitlement. Take for example the scandals in recent headlines that seem to have become increasingly prevalent in news media and American culture.

Even though feudalism is considered a relic of the past, many of the underlying implications of this system still exist in modern society, whether it be money, power, connections, or simply about sex.

Beaumachais’ story is compelling in its use of satire and comedy to comment on controversial subjects. When married with Mozart’s musical genius, the combination is unstoppable.

Michael has a pair of these boots from back in the day when he was an Elton John impersonator on Sunset Blvd.

If you were born on February 29th in a leap year, in the year when all your friends were turning 21, you would be celebrating your fiveand-a-quarter birthday. If you are Frederic in The Pirates of Penzance, this is the exact predicament you are facing. However, in your case, you are indentured to a band of pirates (due to a contractual mistake made when you were only a baby) until your 21st birthday, or in your unique case, your 84th birthday, since you were born on February 29th in a leap year.

In a way that only the esteemed duo Gilbert & Sullivan can do, this predicament sets the stage (no pun intended) for a comic spectacle that pokes fun at social structure and the juxtaposition of free will and duty. As Opera Columbus’ third offering, with its collection of characters - including a rather compassionate band of pirates, the epitome of military might, the “modern” Major General Stanley, and the very embodiment of Victorian-era propriety in his daughters, to name a few - allows for every plausible relationship and misunderstanding to occur, and will keep you entertained for the duration. In the end, a common understanding and allegiance brings this mayhem to an amicable end.

The proof is in the pudding this year for Opera Columbus. If you’re looking for artistic offerings with strong modern implications, a touch of satirical comedy, and a little bit of sex appeal, the Opera Columbus season is just the thing to flip your skirt.

Opera Columbus’ 2010-2011 Season: Berlin to Broadway, Kurt Weill – Oct 7/8, The Lincoln Theater; The Marriage of Figaro, W.A. Mozart – Feb 11/13, 2011, The Ohio Theater; and The Pirates of Penzance, Gilbert & Sullivan – Jun 10/11/12, 2011, The Southern Theater. Tickets are available through CAPA by calling 614.469.0939 or visiting www.ticketmaster.com. New subscriptions are available 9/1/10 and single tickets are available four weeks before each individual performance. www.operacolumbus.org. Erica Post is Director of Marketing for Opera Columbus, a member organization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association. For more information, visit www.camaonline.org.

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Robert Traut (of indie duo The Traut Ticklers)

Phillecia Cochran (Theremin singer/songwriter)

Bionic – Christina Aguilera Bionic is like having a plate full of different amazing foods and shoveling all of them in your mouth at once. It sounds like a great idea because everything tastes good on its own, but together it doesn’t work out so well. This album has some great highlights and lots of good stand alone tracks but as a whole this album is sort of a let down and I find that pulling out a few tracks for selected playing is all I do and had to force myself to actually listen to it straight through and think of it as a cohesive album.

Lots of different styles and players on this… and I wish she would have stuck to the Less is More philosophy.

Lilith Fair Sarah McLachlan as the opening track? Nothing will make me turn a tune off quicker. More bad: Kesha (she looks like John Travolta and I’m not okay with that), Sara Bareilles (Don’t include a song that got way too much radio play) and Colbie Caillat (**see Sara Bareilles). The good: Kelly Clarkson (her “Divas” performance with Melissa Etheridge is burned in my brain), The Weepies (an undeniable talent live AND recorded), and Brandi Carlile (she’s rocked my world for years and her latest album includes a track with Elton John. She’s my antithesis of Sarah McLachlan). Overall, the album is 50/50 for me, but Brandi sells the whole thing.

Night Work – Scissor Sisters Jake Shears and his bandits are back with what I think is their most well rounded album yet. That being said this album is also the most sexual and flamboyant album from them so far. Starting with the butt cheeks on the album cover to the lyrics on many of the tracks, this album starts off and gives you a ride you will not soon forget.

Mack Worrall (of funk band Big Mack and The Burghers)

Aphrodite – Kylie Minogue Consistent. Is a word that comes to mind when I think of Kylie. She may not reinvent the wheel or do anything that amazing or shocking anymore. But she does deliver with each album a batch of fun pop dance tracks. This album seems a bit like a step from her last album ‘X’ to more comfortable ground for Kylie. The title of the album Aphrodite comes from the Greek mythology meaning love, beauty and sexuality. But with this album it means familiar, stale, average.

Body Talk Pt 1 - Robyn Starts off slow, but ends up hitting hard by the third track with “Dancing on my Own” the big single from this album. As usual Robyn plays with electro and reggae with a strong pop sense. There is rumor that this is part one of a three part series and if so she needs to release the other two parts quickly, this album was a nice taste but left me hungry for more of Robyn’s raw emotion she expresses on this short album.

Flesh Tone - Kelis Kelis has grown up a bit since her milkshake brought all the boys to the yard. She has worked with some electronic-pop powerhouses to produce a fluid nine track album that is highly addictive / danceable and overall fun!

How to be a Lady: Volume 1 – Electrik Red Girl, I need some lessons. Because you are clearly the experts on this subject. You’ve been back-up dancers too long, robbing the world of your musical talent all these years. Track one says all you need to know: “I’m the shit wit the shit.” This album has replaced Garbage in my car as nighttime city driving music. It’s music you can groove to, with affirming positive lyrics such as “y’all don’t fuck us, […] we fuck you.” Nothing can pump me up for a night out better than this.

Memphis Blues – Cyndi Lauper This album starts with some of the most amazing, rhythmic blues to hit the charts in a long time. But about 25 seconds in, Cyndi Lauper starts singing. These two things are fabulous on their own, but calling this a Blues album would be a disservice to music. Cyndi just sounds like an American Amy Winehouse, backed by harmonica.

The Sellout – Macy Gray Macy, you ain’t no sellout – except to my soul. Smooth pop (is that a thing?) has never sounded better.

Macy Gray keeps it real, and tells it like it is. The album may sound like you should be in a dimly lit bar drinking whiskey, but that’s what I do at home anyway.

Patron Tequila – Paradiso Girls Q: A relatively small band releases an amazing single with Lil Jon – how many times can they remix it? A: Too many damn times. Let jamming dogs lie. Don’t berate them with even more obnoxious versions of Lil Jon screaming in the background of your single. Really, he peaked with “Get Low” last decade. Doesn’t it say something when an ex-star piggybacks on to your ride? ‘Patron Tequila’ is still one the best jump-upand-down-screaming-your-lungs-out party songs of Pride. But owning this many versions of it is like collecting all the flavors of lube on the market. Why?

Uh Oh It’s Magic Magical Eating: A Worldwide Guide by international swimsuit model Emily Caprice Candler helps travelers and foreign food lovers select fitness-friendly dishes wherever they dine International swimsuit model and worldwide traveler Emily Caprice Candler blends her passion for foreign cuisine with the mission of maintaining a photogenic waistline in her new book, Magical Eating: A Worldwide Guide.

Her easy-to-follow guidebook provides English translations, picks, pans and calorie counts for hundreds of appetizers, entrees and desserts commonly found on restaurant menus in 23 countries.

“Menus in foreign countries can be very confusing, especially when restaurants don’t list the English language names of the dishes or don’t explain how the dish is cooked,” said Ms. Candler, whose livelihood as a top model depends in no small part on knowing how to order healthy meals in any restaurant in the world.

Ms. Candler said in the process of writing her

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away... but who doesn’t want to land a doctor?

book she learned that many of the foreign dishes she thought were “figure friendly” turned out to be “hi-calorie catastrophes.”

“Because it featured fish, I assumed that England’s famous ‘fish & chips’ would be a fairly healthy snack, but I discovered that one serving contained over 1,500 calories,” she said.

In her book, Ms. Candler reviews dishes commonly served at restaurants in China, Japan, Korea, Thailand, India, Turkey, Egypt, Persia, Israel, Russia, Belgium, Germany, Greece, Italy, Spain, England, France, America, Mexico, Canada, Brazil, Columbia and Peru.

“I searched but couldn’t find any books covering how to make healthy food selections while dining in foreign cities, so I decided to write one,” she said. “I hope the book also makes it a little easier to stay on your diet at your favorite ethnic restaurant right down the street.”

Magical Eating: A Worldwide Guide is available through Amazon.com or through the website; www.magicaleatingguide.com.

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He kind of looks like Nathan Fillion circa Firefly. Who doesn’t miss that show...

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by Romeo San Vicente TORCHWOOD TOUCHES DOWN STATESIDE Don’t panic, Torchwood fans: News of a possible American version of the series for Fox probably won’t result in a shoddy, gutless, copycat disappointment. Instead, creator of the Doctor Who-inspired spinoff, Russell T. Davies, is on board for the pilot and he wants to import his cast to the U.S. as well. This is good news for diehard devotees, the cult audience who’ll be the show’s built-in numbers-getters. And it’s even better news for Davies, whose idiosyncratic approach hasn’t always translated well overseas when left to the Americans to interpret (compare Davies’s witty U.K. Queer As Folk to its strident, soapy U.S. version). No word yet on which Brit cast members will cross the Atlantic or when we might see a finished product. How does “sometime in the not too distant future” grab you?

but didn’t live to see his work become a critically acclaimed documentary feature (he died of AIDS in 1990 at age 44). But now, another documentary is in the works, this one focusing on Russo himself. Activist: The Times of Vito Russo, from prolific documentary filmmaker Jeffrey Schwarz (Wrangler: Anatomy of an Icon, Spine Tingler! The William Castle Story) will examine Russo’s life, work and impact on gay filmmakers and writers two decades later. Still in production, the doc will feature dozens of interview subjects, from those who knew the man personally to those who were simply challenged and changed by his writing, people like Armistead Maupin, Michael Musto, B. Ruby Rich, Larry Kramer and a list that takes up more space than an IMDB.com page can hold. Look for Activist in 2011 at film festivals and eventual cable TV airdates. In the meantime, if you’re more than a casual film fan, do yourself a favor and read Celluloid Closet.

elodeon show’s target audience. But if you’re reading this, it’s a safe bet that you probably know and enjoy the work of Glee’s comic villain, Jane Lynch. Well, the two worlds are about to collide as Lynch has signed on to shoot a guest spot on the children’s sitcom. She’ll play the never-before-seen mother of Carly’s (Miranda Cosgrove) best friend Sam (Jennette McCurdy).

Lynch’s own 8-year-old stepdaughter is such a huge fan of the series that a reference to it was included in Lynch’s recent wedding vows to her partner, so this was probably a family-inspired job application. And it’ll further serve to open up Lynch’s already-booming fan base expansion. The episode is shooting now and will air during iCarly’s third season. And it’s safe to assume that tracksuits will almost certainly be banned from the costume trailer.

TOM COLICCHIO’S BEAR PRIDE

She’s already accomplished so much, but now it looks like Meryl Streep will become the British Prime Minister, the 1986 version anyway. The Julie & Julia star is currently in talks to star in a biopic about Margaret Thatcher, Prime Minister during England’s last lengthy conservative era, the 1980s. A millimeter more socially progressive than Ronald Reagan - Thatcher was an early supporter of decriminalizing homosexuality in England - she still supported a controversial anti-gay statute in England called Section 28, which sought to squelch the “promotion” of homosexuality. So even though the proposed title is The Iron Lady, the director is Phyllida Law, who worked with Streep once before on, of all cute things, Mamma Mia! In other words, let’s hope the eventual movie doesn’t gloss over that sort of detail in the hope of making Thatcher more adorable than she actually was. Maybe they could call it The Devil Wears Drab Conservative Garments instead.

RYAN SEACREST GOES GAGA FOR E! DANCE SHOW Because network television had not yet scheduled a dancethemed show into every time slot of every single day and night of the week, it was clearly necessary for Ryan Seacrest to help fill in those glaring dead spots and satisfy the global hunger for more and more dance routines by producing his own series. And produce he will, with his reality show for E! that’s currently in development featuring Lady Gaga’s choreographer, Laurie Ann Gibson. Gibson developed the dance moves for Gaga’s “Paparazzi” and “Telephone” videos, and the show would focus on her and a group of choreographers and dancers as they navigate their careers in Hollywood. The pilot is untitled at the moment, so that will be a highly anticipated reveal. But let’s talk about what’s really important: When do we get a Paula Abdul appearance?

Attention all bears: Top Chef host Tom Colicchio wants to be your friend. In fact, he’s a little hurt that you didn’t come courting him sooner. When recently asked by Bravo’s Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens about what it was like for him to be a bear icon, the stocky, shaved-headed and heterosexual Colicchio jokingly responded that he was unhappy that no bear group had ever asked him to be on a gay Pride float. The response from bear groups was apparently so swift and enthusiastic that Colicchio is now booked to ride on a bear-themed float at Los Angeles’s Pride parade in 2011. Out-of-towners upset that the parade isn’t televised can content themselves with watching it on YouTube within minutes of the actual event.

But did anyone explain to the celebrity chef that he’d be expected to bring enough food to feed every guy riding that flatbed truck with him? This could get complicated.

CELLULOID CLOSET AUTHOR’S NEXT MOVIE MOVE

JANE LYNCH FILLS ICARLY WITH GLEE

Author and activist Vito Russo wrote The Celluloid Closet, a groundbreaking study of the depiction of homosexuality in film,

It’s understandable if you’ve never watched iCarly. It’s unlikely that you are an elementary school-aged child, the hit Nick-

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Any TV show that’s an excuse for gay, alien sex gets points in my book.

STREEP MEETS THATCHER AT THE MOVIES?

Romeo San Vicente knows exactly how important it is to feed the bears.

He can be reached at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

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Who hasn’t hooked up in the lofts at one time or another?

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“All Right” Now: An Interview with Out Filmmaker Lisa Cholodenko

by Gregg Shapiro The Kids Are All Right, the new movie by out filmmaker Lisa Cholodenko (High Art and Laurel Canyon) is one of the most eagerly anticipated movies of the summer season, gay or straight. In the film, Joni (Mia Wasikowska) and Laser (Josh Hutcherson), the children of lesbian couple Nic (Annette Benning) and Jules (Julianne Moore) seek out their sperm donor father Paul (Mark Ruffalo). The results of their quest is at turns humorous and heartbreaking and ultimately unforgettable. I spoke with Ms. Cholodenko shortly before The Kids Are All Right opened in theaters.

Gregg Shapiro: The Kids Are All Right strikes the right balance between seriousness and humor. How important was it for you to maintain a sense of humor in the film?

Lisa Cholodenko: It’s pretty important. I’m a big fan of (director) Billy Wilder, especially the films that had more of that tone, like Sunset Boulevard and The Apartment, where you kind of feel like you’re unsettled. To me, that feeling of being unsettled between the comedy and the drama is what makes the absorption and the engagement. I adore those kinds of films and I think they used to make them more often in this country, in the 1970s. I don’t see them done with the sophistication that I always loved and remembered from my childhood.

GS: (Paul) Mazursky did some of that, too.

LC: Exactly. And Hal Ashby and Mike Nichols. Those are films that I came up on. They hold up, when I think about the seriousness of the content and the kind of emotional/psychological themes they explored. They did them in a way that was witty and funny and irreverent, but also kind of heavy.

GS: Speaking of humor, one of the funniest scenes in the movie involves a vintage Colt Studio porn video starring Gordon Grant. It’s delightful and unexpected.

LC: I had to do a huge research project to find just the right movie. I got my straight editorial assistant and my straight film assistant - I sent guys home with so much porn, you wouldn’t believe it. Gay women I know have said over the years that they love gay male porn and especially the `70s era when it was still done on film. I always find that more interesting. There’s something about video that’s too in your face. It’s kind of gnarly. Not that it doesn’t work. It’s just not what I wanted to put in the film. I had known about Colt and thought, those are good; those are classic, vintage era. Why not just get a big stack of their stuff? They were cool to let us use it.

GS: Do you think straight movie audiences are ready for a scene such as that?

LC: I think most people won’t know what the fuck to make of it, and in that sense think it’s a big joke, think it’s funny.

And then the people who are kind of in the know will go, “Wow!,” and filter that through their brains a little bit. I think it will find its way.

GS: The movie demonstrates that the kids, Joni and Laser, really are all right and that it’s the adults who are messed up. Is this intended to show that kids from same sex households really aren’t that different from those being raised by mixed gender parents?

LC: Kind of, yeah. I think it’s really to show that it’s the quality of parenting, not who’s parenting. What’s the structure? What’s the consistency? What are the values?

What is the love factor? What are all those things? Those are the defining things that make character and stability.

GS: Julianne Moore is having what I would describe as her lesbian year on screen, as Jules in The Kids Are All Right and Atom Egoyan’s Chloe. But even before that, Moore has been a presence in films by gay filmmaker Todd Haynes, as well as in numerous gay-themed films including A Single Man and The Hours. What was it like working with Julianne?

LC: It was great. I knew her in a very peripheral way for a long time and always liked her, but I didn’t know if she would be pleasurable to work with. For me, she was just a total team player. She was like, “I’ve been hanging around for a long time, waiting for you to make this film.” She’d been attached to it for four or five years and I think she was ready to jump in and enjoy it and give it good energy.

It was a really fast shoot. She was awesome. I didn’t have to convince her to do anything. She just was in it.

GS: If Julianne is having her lesbian year on-screen, then Annette Benning is having her maternal one as Nic in The Kids Are All Right and as a woman looking for the daughter she gave up for adoption in Mother and Child.

What was it like to work with Annette?

LC: She is a formidable person. She knows what she likes.

She’s a very experienced and intense person. She’s incredibly bright and attentive to details. Her bravery blew my mind. She put down for it. You see it in the performance.

She did stuff that I didn’t tell her to do. I was wowed more than a few times.

GS: You wrote the screenplays for your films High Art and Laurel Canyon, but you co-wrote The Kids Are All Right with Stuart Blumberg. Can you please say something about the collaborative process when it comes to writing a screenplay?

LC: In many ways I loved it. I loved that I had somebody that was in the trenches with me. I loved that it was a straight man and we could counterbalance perspectives a lot. That I thought was really important. I didn’t have to spend a lot of time in my own anxiety that I was missing the boat on something. We could pull each other back from the margins. On top of that, Stuart is somebody that I’d known before, not terribly intimately, but always was really fond of. I felt really close to him. It’s a very intimate thing to go into this world with somebody else.

GS: It sounds like it was a good experience. Do you think you would collaborate again?

LC: Yeah, absolutely. There are periods where it’s hard. continued on page 60

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OMG, I love his jacket! I wonder if he’d be ‘alright’ if I borrow it?

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Red Roof Inn, where my Dad use to take us on vacation.

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All Right - continued from page 58

Where you are like, “Do I trust you?

Do we have the same vision? Do you understand what I’m saying? Are we going to get there together? What’s going to happen?” It’s like in a relationship. You’re like, “Does this work?” But there is a real sense of accomplishment when you duke it out with someone, as in a relationship, and you make it to the other side.

GS: Music plays an essential role in your movies, from the stunning Shudder To Think score for High Art to the subject matter of Laurel Canyon. The same holds true for The Kids Are All Right, beginning with the title, which makes reference to a Who song…

LC: …which most people are too old like us to (place)…“I think I’ve heard that somewhere before.” And I’m like, yeah, never mind (laughs). It was a working title from the very beginning when we tripped over it as a potential laugh. And then we thought, that was kind of perfect, how are we going to outdo that? It had more to do with loving the title and thinking that it had the content and whimsy to really embody how we wanted to tonally represent the film.

GS: There is also great music throughout the film, beginning with the Vampire Weekend song playing over the opening credits. How involved are you in that aspect?

LC: Huge! In a film like this, which is really almost like an auteur film, not to be whatever… but I wrote it and we spent four or five years developing it and hand-picking the cast. I said I wanted to work with Liza Richardson who is a popular DJ on KCRW. She’s a music supervisor and she’s got her ear to the ground. She’s going to know how to get great music that isn’t tied up with big corporations. She turned to be the totally right person. She’d send me tons of music every week and go, “Try this.” I’d say, “This doesn’t work because of this. I need this kind of thing. This needs to match with this character’s sensibility.” Vampire Weekend came in last minute. We had an Animal Collective song at the beginning of the credits and they didn’t want to do it so they didn’t give us the rights. I kind of went into a freefall. A friend of mine named Craig Wedren knew one of the guys in Vampire Weekend and he said, “Check out this new single. The album’s not out yet, but this might

be a good replacement.” I said, “That rocks! That’s good!”

GS: The character of Joni is named after Joni Mitchell and there’s a wonderful scene in which Nic and Paul sing Mitchell’s praises and then go on to sing a Mitchell song.

Is Ms. Mitchell aware of the part she plays in The Kids Are All Right?

LC: I’ve never met her. My significant other is a musician. Her name is Wendy Melvoin. She used to play with Prince. Wendy knows her. Wendy used to be friendly with her. We’ve had a lot of conversations about Joni.

But Joni had to sign off on it and we had to pay her a certain amount of money for the rights to perform the song. She’s aware of it. I hope that at some point she’ll see it and enjoy it.

GS: Have you started work on your next film project?

LC: I don’t have my next project lined up. I’m reading things and in conversation and trying to make some good choices. It would be nice to have a break from super-independent filmmaking. I’ve done three now. It takes a long time and it’s totally gratifying when it works. But it’s a real labor.

Off and Running

by Adam Leddy It’s strange when a Twitter phenomenon like Shit My Dad Says, which was started by a guy in his late 20s writing down the filthy and irreverent things his 74 yearold dad says, garners a sitcom, especially on a network. It’s stranger still that that network is CBS, known for the most banal and safe programming generally aimed at senior citizens, considering nothing that appears on the original Twitter page could ever be said on network TV. The resulting show could never be more than a watered down standard sitcom, a show that might easily be summed up as “doesn’t my dad say wacky things and isn’t he a lovable curmudgeon?” Such a decision by CBS is confusing, why bother buying the rights to something that Peter Boyle already did on your own Everybody Loves Raymond for 9 years?

This sort of calculated, sterile thinking is how Nicole Opper’s Off and Running seems to have been constructed. Ostensibly a documentary about a black teenager, Avery Brooks Klein-Cloud, adopted by a white Jewish lesbian couple in Brooklyn (Tova and Travis), trying to reach out to her biological parents, the movie goes out of its way to be not just safe, but to wipe away any on-screen

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conflict. All of the tension that would be natural to this situation, Avery is one of three adopted children in the family (two black, one Asian), is spoken to us via narration or told to us via titles.

There’s a heavily manufactured feel throughout (is that why there are two credited writers for this documentary?), as if Opper and Klein-Cloud wanted to show how open-minded Tova and Travis are, but didn’t want to risk actually showing them in a negative light lest we stop being sympathetic. The result is that these white parents come off as almost apathetic, and they are only saying they care about Avery because the camera happens to be in their face. Off and Running is so careful about being nonjudgmental, that it dares you to judge it (“our family nickname is the United Nations”) for being too diverse and multicultural. Was this POV chosen so we could chastise ourselves for not accepting someone because they are “different?” It’s a white-liberal guilt sort of stance, suggesting that Tova and Travis had more influence than Opper would like you to believe.

When Avery leaves the house because of her discomfort, nearly drops out of high school, dates an inarticulate dolt as her way of inundating herself into “gangsta”

culture (the boyfriend, named Prince, may as well have a signpost on his head that reads: “Slumming”), it’s so carefully crafted and laid out as to remove the inherent drama. Opper would rather return to her titular metaphor, as Avery struggles to become a long distance track star, instead of the more interesting material dealing with her potential rejection from two sets of parents.

As a result, Avery becomes off-putting, simply because she seems like the kind of person who we should find interesting simply because of her background, not because of anything she has to say or offer. In fact, the footage of her older adopted brother, Raffi, writing to his birth parents about his biological brother inheriting fetal alcohol syndrome and syphilis from them (“have you thought about us since our first days in detox at the ICU?”), has more passion and anger than Avery’s forced melodrama. Even though Off and Running is a documentary, Avery only seems interested in her birth parents because the plot requires it.

If you’d like to read more of Adam’s reviews or listen to his podcasts, you can find them on Rotten Tomatoes or on his website, RegrettableSincerity.com. Off and Running will be released on DVD by First Run Features on August 17th.

Did anyone else see that movie where Julianne Moore is a plastic heiress who sleeps with her gay son?

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Justina works at Impero. She’s from Athens. She is Chris’s favorite.

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The Fashionably Smart Traveler

by Ryan Harris Summer is in full swing, and with that comes a well-deserved vacation. We all have our own ideas of what makes a great vacation, but one thing everyone has in common is the dreaded question: what to pack? And now, with the airlines charging for every suitcase and watching every pound, the pressure of what to pack is even more stressful than ever.

I recently visited Hawaii, and was very confused when my luggage was over the limit when I left Columbus. My first thought wasn’t “Oh, I packed too much!” it was “OMG, I haven’t even shopped yet! How can I bring anything back?” When I unpacked in Hawaii, I discovered I had packed 13 pairs of shoes, and enough outfits for a month.

Big Mistake! I only wore a fraction of the clothes and shoes, and limited my ability to shop in one of the most exciting shopping destinations in the U.S. (more on that in a minute).

Lucky for you I made this mistake, because now you won’t have to. I realized that by packing the right mix and match items and the season’s signature shoes is the best way to keep you fashionably smart while traveling.

If you are heading on a sun filled holiday, you may be thinking more about comfort over style, but you never know whom you may run into, and you certainly don’t want

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to look like a beach bum that even your best friend would pretend not to know. By bringing a few key pieces you can easily transition from beach, to casual activities, to a night on the town, without sacrificing comfort or style. Keeping in mind that practically every hotel and resort offers a laundry or dry cleaning service, you should never feel as though you didn’t bring enough.

Sure, it may be pricey sometimes, but using this service does indeed make you a fashionably smart traveler.

Here is my list of Key items to pack. Shorts and T-shirts are fine for daytime wear at just about any tropical destination, so this should be the majority of your traveling wardrobe but don’t over do it. However your favorite pair of denim is a must, and since you know you are going to wear them every time your ensemble requires denim, why bother bringing another pair. You really don’t need to get dressed up for the vast majority of restaurants. Guys can wear dress-shorts or khakis and a collared shirt of any kind. Ladies can wear casual skirts, sundresses, or Capri pants. So unless you plan a high glam night while vacationing, leave the formal wear at home. One thing not to leave at home is two or three swimsuits. This is important so that you will always have a dry suit to wear. And make sure you bring a swimsuit cover-up as most resorts request that you cover up while in lobbies and common areas other than the pool and beach. And finally grab your most comfortable pair of sneakers, some basic san-

dals, and a boat shoe for the guys and a basic set of heels for the ladies. That is all you need. Trust me on that one!

Now with all this extra room in your luggage, you don’t have to worry about shopping till your credit card bleeds. And if you still can’t get it all in your bag: no worries. Simply ship it home. It’ll be much cheaper than checking it at the airport.

I have been to some really amazing places, and can always find the best shopping available. But I must say that Honolulu Hawaii took the guessing game away in the trade winds. The streets and hotels are packed with malls, specialty shops, local vendor carts, adorable boutiques and every high-end designer you can imagine.

The malls are plentiful and just like any other with a few high-end stores sprinkled amongst the national chain stores, food court and all. But the excitement begins with the local vendor carts. Here you can find one-of-a-kind items such as Koa wood jewelry boxes, to black and pink pearl necklaces. The Koa tree is protected by Hawaii, making it illegal to kill any living Koa tree.

Only when Mother Nature takes down a Koa tree may it be used. The jewelry made from this tree is the most beautiful I have ever seen that didn’t garnish some sort of jewel.

My favorite was the Titanium and Koa wood rings. They were a little pricy, but well worth it for a one-of-a-kind piece of the islands. If you want to take Hawaii home with you, this

Also, don’t be afraid to do laundry.

is the most fashionable way in my opinion The shopping doesn’t stop there; it hasn’t even really started yet! As you walk down Kalakaua Avenue you are star struck with designer stores such as Coach, Prada, Dior, Versace, Kate Spade, Louis Vuitton, Ferragamo, Chanel, and the list goes on and on.

If you are shopping for gifts to bring home for friends and family, don’t break the bank.

As soon as we arrived in Hawaii we were told about The Aloha Stadium Swap Meet.

This swap meet provides bargains of all kinds! This popular outdoor bazaar is more than just a great shopping experience; it’s a must if you want to save your money for your own selfish shopping needs. Hundreds of vendors sell island-style products in booths across the parking lot of the Aloha Stadium.

These vendors offer everything from souvenirs to plants to T-shirts to collectibles.

Make sure you arrive early to get the best deals, because this best kept secret is anything but a secret!

Whether you are hitting the islands or any other destination this summer, remember to pack light, shop heavy, and relax. After all, the fashionably smart traveler deserves a break… while the stores are closed that is.

Make Everyday a Runway!

Ryan Harris is a FashionConsultant/Stylist for Wardrobe Therapy LLC and the owner of RH Model Mentor. Contact him at rhmodelmentor@yahoo.com or more style info at www.wardrobetherapyllc.com.

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What percentage of Americans wear glasses? A: 75%

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Food is dramatic - Life is delicious.

Episode 32: Watch out Brandi, that Jockelle is mine!

by Pam

“Shhhh, they’ll hear you!”

The moment I entered the building I could feel the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife and spread it on delicious some of Omega Artisan Bakery’s delicious bread. Conveniently, I was standing next to Omega should I decide I wanted to snack on something yeasty.

He pointed upstairs, and then made a throat-cutting motion, drawing his thumb across his neck slowly.

On my lunch break, I’d decided I wanted to eat pastries, Indian and Japanese. Without even pausing to think such an idea was asinine, I left my stuffy cubicle and made my way to the North Market, downtown Columbus’s oasis of local and authentic food. I’d get my pork, fish and curry fix, sit on the second floor of the historic warehouse building, and get my proverbial eat on. Little did I know that right under my nose, and my best-laid lunch plans, a war was a-brewing.

I first noticed something was amiss when I ordered from Nida’s, the Thai/Japanese restaurant famous for it’s fantastic sushi and spot-on noodle dishes. The young man who took my order was as pleasant as usual, but seemed a little nervous as I asked for the Unagi and some Gyoza. He kept glancing over at the stairs leading to the second floor, as though he was worried someone or something was going to come down them at any moment.

“Is everything alright?” I asked, jerking my thumb toward the stairs. The man shook his head, as he handed me my food. “Maybe don’t go up there today” he said, pointing at the stairs.

Before I could ask him why, he walked over to one of the large soda-filled coolers, opened the door and began removing the inventory. Once this was done, he stepped in and closed the door. I heard a clicking sound, as he locked himself inside.

Scratching my head and wondering why they made coolers that locked from the inside, I took my Japanese treats and moved over to my next stop, Flavors of India. Here I found more strange behavior. Raj, the owner, ceremoniously spooned my fragrant Tiki Mahkni onto the long grained basmati rice and handed me warm naan just like usual, but as he did these things, he seemed agitated. Occasionally, he would glance to his left and right, and then to a long knife that sat on a back counter.

“Raj, what the hell is going on?” I asked as I paid and accepted the bag of food he offered.

He shook his head and placed his finger up to his lips.

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Just as before, I started to ask a question, but before I could answer he grabbed the knife, turned and hid behind several stacked bags of rice.

Horribly confused, absolutely famished, and very curious, I made up my mind that I would eat my food on the second floor, and then get desert from Mozart’s after. As I made my way to the darkened stairs and slowly began to climb, I pondered if I’d get their Bavarian Apple Tart or the French Pear & Almond Franzipan Tart. As history would have it, I’d probably end up with both.

baked-dough pocket filled with peas, spices and potatoes and then moved onto my chicken mahkni, a popular Indian dish made of chicken, yogurt, spices, butter, and ground cashews. The chicken was tender and moist, and the sauce exotic and delicious. I used my naan, the thin unleavened bread of India, to pick up a large scoop of mahkni, and followed it with some chickpea dal. The dal was spicy, tasting of fennel, chili and cumin. I followed all of this up with a refreshing mango Lhasi, a sort of mango milk shake that is a mainstay of Indian cuisine.

From somewhere in the back of the market, I heard the unmistakable sound of something mechanical moving. Looking out from my position (now under a table), I saw a gigantic Sigourney Weaver-in-Aliens-esque robot, and sitting in its center, operating the behemoth machine was Macy Cardigan, another local bartender.

My zen-like food experience was interrupted by a shrill scream coming from the direction of the girls.

Recognizing that mechanized violence was my cue to leave, I slowly climbed out from underneath my table-shelter, and made a dead run for the staircase. Just as I was about to reach the top of the stairs, I ran smack into someone, each of us falling to the ground. Dazed for a moment, I got my bearing and took a good look at her.

“…but, I’m dating Gretch!” screeched a tattooed lesbian I immediately identified as a local bartender, Micky. She slowly brought her hands up clenching them into fists, crushing a hot dog she’d apparently just purchased from Best of the Wurst.

“Get away from her, you bitches!” screamed Macy as she took her lesbian robo-arm, and swung wildly, flinging Les-beasts all over the place.

She looked somewhat familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it. She had short dark hair, and had a bright red paper name tag that read, “Hi, my name is Gretch.”

On the landing, I passed The North Market’s marketing director, Mary Martineau. The spicy redhaired vixen waived but rushed by, walkie-talkie in hand. The only words I caught as she spoke furiously into the walkie were “situation” and “code fishstick.”

“What? How are you dating her? All of her stuff is in a U-Haul in the parking lot. I’m moving her in today!” said Christy Finn, a local gay realtor who moments ago was eating a large bowl of Pho from Lac Viet, but now seemed to be brandishing something that looked like a machete.

“What the hell is going on?” I said to myself out loud as I climbed the next set of stairs and emerged on the second floor of the North Market.

It was a large balcony-type space, open to the first floor, with high ceilings and a railed area in the center. There weren’t very many people sitting at the numerous tables on this floor, but there appeared to be a large concentration of girls near the very back, sitting around a blackboard and podium (the north market is great for events). Curious, I made my way to a table near them, and sat, opening my assorted food containers. Just as I began to sink my teeth into my Gyoza, there was movement near the podium. A pretty blond girl with an angular hair cut stood and pounded a softball cleat like a gavel.

“Well, I have a date with her tonight! We’re getting gizzards from Churches on Cleveland and 5th,” chimed a small lesbian I met several weeks back who smelled of cat and had a pizza face.

“You! You aren’t Gretch! You’re Diamond Hunter, Miss Gay Ohio America!” I said wildly.

“I’m marrying her next weekend,” screamed Jockelle (who apparently attended her own ‘exgirlfriend’ recovery group meetings) as she spit out her mouth guard and pulled a steaming pork sandwich from Holy Smoke BBQ into her face.

She took two bites, and then, with sauce dripping from her face, she swung her fists in no particular direction.

At first she looked at me, incredulous, but slowly a twinkle crept into her eye. Glancing to her left and right, she leaned in and whispered, “Gurl, don’t tell anyone, but this lesbian thing is a blast. I just do it on the weekdays – it helps me get in character, and it hones my fighting skills. I’m lipstick, bitch. Don’t forget it…and don’t forget to come to my show at Score Bar. Now excuse me, I’d better get in this shit.”

“This meeting of the former Girlfriends of Jockelle Face is called to order. First order of business, let’s discuss…”

Zoning out, I sat and began to eat my food, taking in the conversation of this lesbian convention only peripherally. It seemed tame enough. What was everyone so afraid of?

Hungry, I began to eat. I started with my Nida’s treats. The Gyoza was deliciously salty and perfectly cooked, with crispy edges and a soft savory middle. The Unagi was tender and slathered in a semi-sweet barbecue sauce I could eat with a spoon – it was the perfect sushi for someone who didn’t like uncooked fish. I made short work of the Nida’s fare, and then opened my box from Flavors of India. I started with a samosa, a small

It was the swing heard round the market. Suddenly, the entire second floor was a hurly-burly of hands, fists, and Justin Bieber haircuts. The violence was obscene. A small Asian wielding a North Market Cookware wooden spoon with a corkscrew through it circled a tall African American woman swinging a raw rib eye and rump roast from Bluescreek Farm Market. A sweaty DJ known as Foxy was slinging Fiesta-Ware-colored plates from The Source by Wasserstrom like a mad spinning ninja. There was a squat lipstick lesbian with an over-the-shoulder rocket launcher blowing up ladies quicker than A Touch of Earth’s morning joe blows out your colon. Two wrestling singlet-clad mechanics pelted people with dry ice from their ten pack of Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams and then doused them with water.

And a pair of pocket lesbians went chicken-fight style to form one woman and boxed in an oldtimey fashion. Within moments, there was blood and teeth everywhere.

“I am so sorry, Sir! I didn’t even you see you there!” she said as she extended her arm to me and helped me up. Dazed and very confused, I looked at her name tag, and then again at her face.

With that, she unzipped her fanny pack and pulled out a bottle of CaJohn’s Kiss My Bhut! Hot Sauce. “Here’s a little mud for her big pretty eyes,” she said with a wink. After dabbing a little behind each ear, Diamond broke the end off bottle and threw herself into the melee screaming “Rainbow challenge this, Macy! Jo-Jo bear is mine!”

Knowing hot sauce carnage always makes me lose my appetite for dessert, I quickly slid down the banister and made my way toward the front wondering how one lesbian could wield so much adoration. ‘It must have been that nomination for best facial hair,’ I thought, which made me think of caterpillars, which got me so upset I had to calm myself by eating both tarts… and some Pam’s Market Popcorn… and some Bubbles tea to wash it all down.

The events depicted in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead (with the exception of Diamond Hunter and Mary Martineau - Mary will get on a walkie, and DH loves her a costume) is merely coincidental.

Besides being a bitchin’ broad, Mary Martineau is also an avid crafter. Chris has one of her mirrors, which he enjoys staring at himself in.

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my, what a big phone you have...

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Just dance... it will be ok...

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SMOKING OUT A DEADLY THREAT

by Jon Dunn On June 29, the American Lung Association released a Smoking Out a Deadly Threat - Tobacco Use in the LGBT Community, a report on the disparity of smokers in the GLBT community.

Shockingly, the report finds that members of the GLBT community are twice as likely to smoke as opposed to similar age groups in the general population.

The statistics are startling and this report helps bring them into sharp relief. The key facts regarding this disparity include: • Gay, bisexual and transgender men are 2.0 to 2.5 times more likely to smoke than heterosexual men; • Lesbian, bisexual and transgender women are 1.5 to 2.0 times more likely to smoke than heterosexual women; • Bisexual boys and girls have some of the highest smoking rates when compared with both their heterosexual and homosexual peers.

“Locally, we are seeing the same amount of disparity between the general population and the GLBT community” says Shelly Kiser, Director of Advocacy for the American Lung Association here in Columbus. “The report definitely reinforces the numbers we found here.” Shelly explained that getting accurate numbers regarding the GLBT community is difficult because many states, including Ohio, don’t include the questions about gender or orientation.

“It would be really nice to have them on these surveys, so we could get more accurate numbers,” she adds.

Why is the rate for smokers so much higher for the GLBT community as opposed to the general population? While the study doesn’t point a finger at a specific cause, the leading factors for the increased level of smokers seems to be stress, depression, social acceptance and cultural factors. When asked about the cause of the

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stress, respondents mentioned a number of factors, including homelessness, coming out at an early age, rejection by family and peers, lack of support, discrimination, anxiety and homophobia. Tobacco use was seen as a way to mitigate stress, get closer to others by serving as an icebreaker, bonding activity or social experience.

Until smoking bans came along, bars and clubs were one of the prime places that promoted smoking. Bars were among the few safe spaces for LGBT people, and they have played an important social role in the LGBT community for many decades. Because there is a biological and behavioral link between drinking and smoking, it is likely that the bar culture would have contributed to elevated smoking rates in this population. There is also the social aspect of smoking together with peers, which seems to be an especially strong risk factor among young people.

“The GLBT community is also a target for the tobacco companies,” Shelly explains. “They create advertising and promotions aimed directly at the community, so we hope that this report will show people that they are a target. And with this information, they will have the power to say no to that kind of manipulation.” Inside the report are numerous examples of tobacco company policies for targeting the GLBT and other communities specifically with both overt and sublime techniques.

One sickening example is Project SCUM, (Sub Culture Underground Marketing), a secret plan implemented by RJ Reynolds in the mid 1990s to market their Red Kamel brand in “alternative lifestyles” (the GLBT and homeless) communities in San Francisco. According to the report, “documents related to Project SCUM were released during the State of California’s litigation with the tobacco industry and through them, it became very clear the degree to which the tobacco industry has held its gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered customers in contempt.”

But the tobacco companies also work the front of the house, too. Many GLBT organizations and causes are funded in part by contributions from the tobacco giants. The report outlines how researchers interviewed the leaders of 74 LGBT organizations between 2002 and 2004, and while these leaders recognized that smoking is dangerous to one’s health, some noted that combating smoking could be bad for an organization’s bank account. Twenty-two percent of the organizations surveyed had accepted tobacco industry funding. The leaders of those groups recognized that these donations were ideologically difficult to defend, but felt they were necessary to keep their programs solvent and “continue their work in the community.”

“There is a price to pay for tobacco funding,” cautions Shelly. “They’re not doing it to be your friend, or a friend of the community, but to gain you as a customer. That’s their only intention.“ And only 24 percent of the leaders surveyed named tobacco use as a pressing LGBT community health concern. The rest indicated that other issues were more important or that their organizations should focus on issues that weren’t being addressed by the general population. Some also said that drinking and smoking were central to many people’s coming out process. This is an unfortunate indication of the degree to which tobacco use has been normalized in a com-

Everyone needs to remind Michael, in a loving and caring way, to quit smoking.

munity beset by the challenges of functioning in a homophobic society.

While the public perception of the problem is becoming clearer, the economic downturn has caused shortfall in the efforts to reverse the trend and to specifically address the problem at a local level. “This report comes at time when all of the state funding for any of our smoking cessation programs has been cut,” says Shelly, “There had been a program for smoking cessation in the GLBT community locally, but the grant money was cut at the state level.” Some of the money used to fund the programs came from the master settlement money awarded to the states from those tobacco company settlements, but it was taken away,” Shelly continues.

“These programs had a lot of promise, but without the state funding, we just couldn’t continue them.”

To learn more and download a free copy of Smoking Out a Deadly Threat - Tobacco Use in the LGBT Community report, visit www.lungusa.org. The link for the report is on the front page.

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If you miss an appointment, James makes you do the truffle shuffle.

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by Dan Savage

never checked.)

I was recently told that I am being puritanical and self-righteous because I can’t get over the fact that my partner spends a good deal of time seeking out pictures of very young girls to masturbate to. Nothing illegal, he says, but still…

Backing up: It’s usually duly closeted members of the religious right who run around claiming that porn consumers seeking new thrills quickly progress from softcore to hardcore to kink to kiddie to kids. I believe your partner - lying piece of shit that he is - has latched on to the rhetoric and reasoning of antiporn crusaders because (1) he doesn’t want to take responsibility for his actions (“Woe is me, the helpless porn addict…”) and (2) he has no intention of stopping.

He admits to having a 20-year-plus addiction to porn, and with that particular addiction, he says, comes the need to continue upping the taboo factor in order to get off. I can understand the natural escalation from traditional porn to something more risqué, and I’m fine with him watching chicks with dicks defecate in each other’s mouths until his eyes bleed, because those she-males are consenting adults.

Eight-year-old girls, however, are innocents preyed upon by pedophiles and people with child-lust disorders, in my opinion, and I think a rational adult, even in the throes of sexual whimsy, should recognize that boundary and not cross it. My question is this: Is it considered typical sexual behavior for a guy who’s really into porn to seek out YouTube videos of 10-year-old ballerinas without having any kind of pathological inclination toward pedophilia?

He Says I’ve Turned Into My Born-AgainChristian Mother “Whimsy” is not a word I would associate with your boyfriend’s sexual interests or porn-viewing habits.

Your partner is chock full o’ shit, HSITIMBACM, as my own experiences with porn demonstrate: I’ve been consuming gay porn for 20-plus years now, and I have yet to “escalate” to YouTube videos of 10-year-old boys doing whatever it is 10-year-old boys do in the videos they upload to YouTube.

(Are they jumping on trampolines? Lighting their farts? Writing Sarah Palin’s Facebook status updates? I don’t know because I’ve outlookcolumbus.com

CRUST; there was really no need to include that detail about the crust.

Hopefully your partner hasn’t “escalated” to actual kiddie porn yet, HSITIMBACM, and is only repurposing the odd ballet-recital video.

But his attempts to rationalize and shift blame - to say nothing of his efforts to convince you that you’re the one with the problem - are ominous warning signs. His is the kind of deeply fucked-up, sociopathic reasoning you hear from guys who are consuming actual child porn and/or raping actual children.

Your boyfriend has a problem, not you; he needs help, not YouTube.

Here’s what happened: I just had sex with a street hooker. Here’s how it happened: After cleaning her hands with alcohol-based lotion, she jerked me off with her hand. Then when I came, she rubbed the head of my penis all over one of her cheeks. It felt wonderful. When we were cleaning up, I saw she had something on her face. She said she had been injured in a fight with a screwdriver some days ago, and although there was no blood on this “sore,” or whatever it might be called, she had removed a crust from it earlier on, before meeting me. This sore was not open, so there was no visible blood, but it was somewhat raw. My question is, what risk of STIs is there? Herpes? Hepatitis? AIDS? Can’t Relax Unsafe-Sex Tension You had me at “fight with a screwdriver,”

be irresponsible?

Can’t Handle A Divorce

The odds that you contracted a sexually transmitted infection from your sex worker are very small. Unless the head of your cock had been reduced to a raw and bloody pulp by that handjob, and unless there was blood seeping out of her sore, it’s unlikely that her blood got into your bloodstream and, therefore, highly unlikely that you contracted anything more serious than a desire to inspect future hires for puncture wounds. If anyone was at risk in the situation you described in such colorful detail, CRUST, it was she, the sex worker who foolishly rubbed your semen into an open sore.

My wife left me a few weeks ago because she discovered an affair that I had a few years ago, ended, and then kept from her.

In the years since the affair, I recommitted myself to our marriage and became a more attentive husband. My wife is hurt and furious, and for weeks would only call me to talk about getting a divorce. Three nights ago, my wife told me she is pregnant. She still wants a divorce, but she also wants our child to grow up in a stable environment, so she says she will forgive me to an extent so we can have an amicable relationship for the sake of our child.

Last night, I went over to her new apartment and we had the first decent conversation we’ve had in months. She promised me that I can be a very active part of our child’s life, which basically means I have an all-access pass into her life, too.

I love my wife and miss her so much. I want to be a good father and do what’s right for my child. In part, I think that means staying married to my wife. Would it be wrong or immoral of me to use our child as an excuse to spend more time with her in the hopes that we can reconcile? For the next seven months, I can go with her to doctor appointments, Lamaze classes, and baby stores - to say nothing of when our child arrives. Or would that

Or maybe its an oral fixation.

As reconciling with the wife would be in the best interests of your soon-to-be-born child, CHAD, spending more time with the wife in the hopes of reconciling would be the right and moral and responsible thing to do. Just don’t be sneaky about it, CHAD, as the wife clearly doesn’t appreciate your sneaking around. Tell her you still hope to reconcile, and ask if you can schedule some counseling sessions for after your Lamaze classes.

I’ve been spending my summer vacation reading through the Savage Love archives on your new Savage Love iPhone app. I was wondering if you ever heard from any of those people again, telling you how things resolved? I would like to think that people were able to work through their mismatched-interest issues with partners, or that the poor guy with the botched circumcision whose penis no longer had a head was able to get some sexual satisfaction.

Anyway, I thought you might put out a call for updates.

Inquiring Mind I’m taking a couple of weeks off later in August, and if anyone who’s taken my advice and lived - lived to tell the tale, lived happily ever after, lived to regret it - would like to write in, please do. Your letters would provide welcome updates for curious readers like IM here and a nice couple of easy-to-compile, easy-to-file vacation columns for me. So your updates don’t get lost in the swamp, please send ’em to youruinedmylifeyoubastard@savagelove.net.

CONFIDENTIAL TO ARGENTINA: Congratulations.

Find the Savage Lovecast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net

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Mel

by Chris Hayes Mellissia Fuhrmann knows a thing about justice and it’s got nothing to do with her love of capes. Brought up in the tire belt of Ohio, this month’s local celebrity comes from the small village of Mogadore right outside of Akron. (No it’s not filled with Orcs.) Mel, as her friends call her, made her way to Cbus by way of a summer fellowship while attending University of Akron Law School. She loved our diverse town so much she stayed, transferring to Capital to finish her degree.

Originally going to law school because she wanted to think in a different way, - dive into the world of facts and objective arguments, get comfy with grey thinking - she eventually found herself wanting to be a voice for people that don’t typically have one. “I think growing up in a union home laid the foundation for fairness and equality in my brain, but putting that together with law school and seeing how many people don’t have a voice, I knew what I wanted to do.” And so an advocate was born.

From there, Fuhrmann landed a job at the Attorney Generals office where she swam through the shitstorm that was Marc Dann. Having her fill of keggers (well, not really) and sexual harassment (none personally), Mel flew into the Justice League of Ohio - the Crime Victims’ Rights Legal Clinic. Yes, that’s right, she works for the Justice League… how freaking Comicon cool is that!?! At JL, the only crime victim legal clinic in Ohio, this superhero pro-

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tects and makes sure that crime victims’ rights are upheld. Go girl!

Where some of you that find yourself in legal issues might know Mel, the rest of us may most recognize her as the President of the Stonewall Democrats of Central Ohio (SDCO). Mel is the second woman president of the group, taking office in 2009 (sucker) and then finding herself in the middle of the local gay political hoopla that was the primary endorsements.

“That whole process was exhausting,” Mel sighs, “but we still stand by our endorsements.”

Because that’s not enough for her plate, this lesbian icon also is on the Ohio Women’s Bar Association, volunteers with the Franklin County Democratic Party, and, what she believes in most, mentoring female law students.

Phew, anyone else tired yet?

When not fighting for our rights, this self-proclaimed nerd hangs out with her cat Myrtle (oh lesbians) in Upper Arlington watching documentaries, independent films and college football. She’s also a classic car fanatic and a history buff. First car: ’71 Chevelle. Most fascinating time period: WWII. If you see this do-gooder out and about, buy her a Miller Lite draft and talk to her about how you can get involved in our fight for equal rights. Mel hopes her newfound celeb status will help her recruit more members to SDCO, especially women and minorities. Maybe she can sign up Oprah and kill two birds with one stonewall.

by Jack Fertig “Keep it legal, Pisces!”

Venus entering Libra will line up with Saturn (think of Margaret Dumont) then aspects Mars, Uranus, Jupiter and Capricorn (enter the Marx Brothers!). You can maintain dignity only by relinquishing control. Your first brilliant idea will need a lot of work.

quickly on spontaneous flashes of “brilliance” could cause your career to go down in flames. With careful consideration those sudden bursts of inspiration might be honed into something truly momentous.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): For a good mental challenge, start by LEO (July 23 – August 22): Ef- shutting up and listening. If forts to be witty and mildly that’s too much, offer quesprovocative are likely to extions instead of arguments. plode into huge imbroglios.

Opening your mouth will reFocus your mind on being veal more than you intend so factual, self-critical and be very careful with whom open-minded. Relations at you do that around. your workplace hinge absolutely on staying on that PISCES (February 19 – track!

March 19): Love, or a juicy facsimile, can be found in VIRGO (August 23 – Septem- another generation. A decade ber 22): Take control of your or two older or younger is finances. A big change in fine; just keep it legal! Rude your banking and/or insursurprises are too likely. The ance should be to your adless you like advice from vantage – if you think way friends, the more you should ahead before taking big listen. Following it remains steps, and watch out for pitoptional. falls. Be smart and attentive and you should come out ARIES (March 20 – April 19): ahead.

If you must be in charge, challenge yourself at work LIBRA (September 23 – Octo- and forget about control isber 22): Relationships are sues at home. Make a speespecially challenging, but cial effort to listen to your remember the fulcrum for partner. Allowing each other balancing them is in your some space will make it eashome. It may be all about ier to share much more. compromise, but stay true to yourself and your own princi- TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): ples. Challenge your partner Moderate your sugar intake! to be at least half as adaptive Too many sweets can be very as you are. dangerous now. Focus on health issues and set moderSCORPIO (October 23 – Noate, realistic goals in exervember 21): For the sake of cise. But you need something your health you may have to wild and different, so explore reveal some deep, dark senew approaches to staying crets. Professionals should fit. be trusted so they can serve you properly. Friends should GEMINI (May 21- June 20): be trustworthy, but don’t alYour playful invitations may ways count on that! be too intense. Friends who already know you well can SAGITTARIUS (November 22 help you to get the tone you – December 20): Your efforts want. The less you like what to socialize can get a little they say, the more you heavy-handed. Looking should shut up and listen. steady, solid and reliable is attractive, but can be overCANCER (June 21- July 22): done. Get deep and serious The purpose of work is to with people who already have a happier home life, so know you. Their insight is isn’t home ultimately more better for your problems, any- important? Domestic calm way. and stability may take some effort, but it is necessary to CAPRICORN (December 21 – help you weather big January 19): Charm will get changes that can radically you ahead, but acting too affect your career.

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977 teaches at the International Academy of Astrology www.astrocollege.com. He can be reached for personal or business consultations at www.starjack.com,

All we know is that Mel is from Akron. Any connection to the forces that, shall we say, be, we know nothing about. We like are pillows without horse heads.

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Carrie Bradshaw would eat those shoes up!

aug 2010

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