2010-12-01 outlook: columbus

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outlook dec 2010 • vol 15 issue 7

inside: Cut ‘n’ Blow Barb Seckler Lesbo Boobies New T Cell Findings Remembering Pelotonia Holiday Gift Guide GOHI Pin-up agenda interview Dave Koz food drama! returns & Local celebrity Kyle

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There are levels of meaning on this page.

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Musical Chairs, Partner Benefits, and Getting in Fine Fettle Ah, the Healthy Holidays – that time of year when thoughts turn to family, friends, and feasting. And after feasting is usually when we start to think about our health (oh, I ate so much I could die… I wonder what my cholesterol is) and new resolutions (I’m going have to work out every day in 2011 to burn this off!). We all do it - it’s the holidays, right? But where, for most of us, we know food is our nemesis come the end of the year, there are other health issues that we should be paying attention to 365. This issue touches on a few of those like HIV, breast cancer and exercise.

And since it’s the holidays, we of course have our annual gift guide to help you shop. Remember, mall walking is exercise, shopping is a sport.

Speaking of “sports,” one to which we’re glad the season is over is the elections. As we all know, this cycle was brutally devastating for the Democrats.

With Republicans in control, a lot of gays have that feeling that our fight for equality in Ohio is going to come to a standstill, if not take a few steps back, which is hard to believe considering we are still tied for last place on the Equality Index. That being said, the rumor mill is churning with talk of an anti-gay adoption law coming down the pipeline. Fact or fear mongering, we have yet to determine, but our community does have the right to give pause to our new leadership, especially after all the gay baiting the Republicans have used in elections past. Regardless, we hope that the bipartisan rhetoric that has been going around will actually hold true and that our state politicos will actually work together to get Ohio moving again. It doesn’t matter who is in office, as long as they do the right thing. Fingers crossed here.

hat into the ring, and it ain’t the ginger. Joking aside, there is no rational reason we couldn’t have two people from our community taking office simultaneously.

We hear so much banter about diversity on Council and what type of person the seat should be assigned to. Everything from “That seat is a black seat, and should stay a black seat!” to “We should have a gay seat on Council!” to “There are no black or gay seats on Council, just seats!” The truth of the matter is that as long as the people on Council fully represent the people of Columbus, it doesn’t matter what they are “like.” But if you subscribe to the Council should look like Columbus theory, then going by the City’s demographics, the seven seat City Council should be comprised of 4 women and 3 men; 4 whites, 2 blacks and 1 Asian/Latino/Native American; 6 straights and 1 gay; and, 5 Democrats, 1 Republican and 1 Independent. Following that thinking then, of the two seats open, they should both go to women with one being white and the other Asian/Latino/Native American; one should be Republican and one Independent; and one of them gay. What is Karen Cookston doing these days? Whatever way you look at it, we should advocate to keep Council vibrant, progressive, and diverse… in all its forms.

Speaking of progressive, Columbus has joined the ranks of Franklin County, Columbus Public Schools, The Ohio State University, and dozens and dozens of companies in central Ohio who provide healthcare benefits to domestic partners. With leadership from Mayor Michael Coleman and his staff, especially Human Resources Director Chet Christie and LGBT liaison Chris Cozad, legislation has been crafted and passed out of Council Member A Troy Miller’s commitAs we turn the page on 2010 and the shuffle begins, tee and approved unanimously by Council to provide we want to thank the two longest-serving Columbus benefits to eligible dependents who live in the same City Council members for their commitment to diver- residence, are financially interdependent, are not sity and inclusion. Charleta Tavares has been the married to each other or to anyone else, and who cerconscience of the Council for over a decade, always tify that they are in an “exclusive relationship” and the first to take a stand for diversity, inclusion, and intend to remain so. In other words, domestic partsocial justice. We will miss her on Council, but know ners. Wrangling over verbiage may have slowed this that she will be among our strongest allies as she legislation a bit, but the important thing is that moves to the Ohio Senate. Council President Michael Miller, his Council colleagues, and the Mayor’s office Mentel is retiring to spend more time with his family were able to craft a solution that everyone can supand we wish him well. He has been a longtime cham- port and of which everyone can be proud. pion for the often most overlooked of our residents – the homeless, and his efforts will be continued, his And finally, we are saddened that one of our best legacy secure. We are proud to have endorsed both champions, and one of the finest ladies in Columbus, Tavares and Mentel multiple times, and to call them wasn’t able to see this legislation enacted. We reboth our friends. cently lost the Mayor’s ombudsman, Mary Teresa Funk, to cancer. Mary was one of the first people to Their departures create two vacancies on the Council whom we reached out at outlook when we started to be filled in early January. That’s a huge opportunity working here, and she is a big part of the reason that for our community. Of course, we would like at least we are so well accepted and connected at City Hall. one gay back on Council (dare we say two - oh my!), We will miss you, Mary, and thank you for everything but we encourage all progressives to polish their ré- you did for all of us. sumés, come to the table with concrete ideas as to what this City needs and specific strategies to acWe hope you all have a happy, safe and healthy holicomplish them. Democracy is not a spectator sport. day season. We will see you next year.

Get involved. Apply for a Council seat, or back another progressive who’s applying. Lend your time and Chris Hayes & Michael Daniels your expertise and your money. To that end we know Co-Publishers at least one gay publisher who will be throwing his outlookcolumbus.com

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OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Christopher Hayes HEADQUARTERS Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, Bsmt Ste ii Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525 phone 614.261.8200 fax www.outlookmedia.com SUBSCRIPTIONS & DISTRIBUTION Call 614.268.8525 BUSINESS DIRECTOR Michael Daniels: mdaniels@outlookmedia.com

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INTERNS Dominic Presutto, Mackenzie Worrall, Sam Malone

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feature: HIV

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interview Dave Koz

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#) CBUS CREW VS UNION 0CTOBER 24, 2010

CBUS CREW VS UNION 0CTOBER 24, 2010

CBUS CREW VS UNION 0CTOBER 24, 2010

Ibby comes for the beer, stays for the men

Ginger loves him a soccer player

Even bald people like soccer!

Go Crew!

NETWORK COLUMBUS NOVEMBER 10, 2010

NETWORK COLUMBUS NOVEMBER 10, 2010

NETWORK COLUMBUS NOVEMBER 10, 2010

Sharing Community Shares

If they’re both smiling, be concerned.

You work. I work.

Net work.

We’ll miss you, Dean!

THURSDAY DRAG @ LEVEL NOVEMBER 11, 2010

THURSDAY DRAG @ LEVEL NOVEMBER 11, 2010

THURSDAY DRAG @ LEVEL NOVEMBER 11, 2010

THURSDAY DRAG @ LEVEL NOVEMBER 11, 2010

Mrs. Kline, Queen-o-the bears. Grrrowl!

Trashley No’shame

June Bugg looks great

Does Sherri look like Ms. Richfield

BLUESTONE OPENING NOVEMBER 19, 2010

BLUESTONE OPENING NOVEMBER 19, 2010

C BAUER @ ALEXANDERS NOVEMBER 19, 2010

C BAUER @ ALEXANDERS NOVEMBER 19, 2010

Shane and Alex are going to jewel you up!

We’ll have some of what he’s serving.

Me Gusta, Rosa!

NETWORK COLUMBUS NOVEMBER 10, 2010

We Love the Honey Bros!

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THE original SNL

For more pictures head to our facebook fan page: outlook; columbus.

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I’m addicted to my lattes, I wish they had put a warning label on them!

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y

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Chad Frye has obviously got his piece of the pie.

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In Regards To God Damn You by Mickey Weems Dear Sirs, No, Goddamn you! I am Catholic and have many good friends and relatives who are gay or lesbian. They are mostly accepted by their Catholic parents.

I have a gay couple across the street who have a 1 ½year-old son and their parents and neighbors just love them. I believe they are Catholic.

Get it “straight!” You don’t know “straight” up!

Sincerely, Paul J. Koebel Jr. Columbus, OH

One-”OUT”-of-Three Gays Voted for the GOP To the Editor: We learned a lot about Gay voters, at least if you have an open mind and a discerning intellect.

According to Fox News, which some Gays do watch, 31% or more of self-identified Gay voters in exit polls said they voted for the Republican Party. That is one-out-of three Gay voters, and more than the normal GOP base in the Gay community of one-out-of-four. That means a considerable number of Gay Democrats and Independents defected to the party opposing Obama-Pelosi.

Most Gays will be shocked that Gay people voted for what is so supposed to be a Party of rampant, uncontrollable, domineering, hyper-extreme homophobia. Well, at least that’s what most Gays who live in a Gay bubble all their intellectual and social lives would think.

Actually the number of Gay people who voted for the GOP even might be 5-10 percent higher as not every Gay is inclined to self-identify as Gay in an exit poll.

These numbers do tell us something very profound and unshakable about the Gay political psychic. It is not about self-loathing and being in the closet. No, Gay voters going to the GOP is strong indication that many Gays no longer believe that the world or even the GOP is nearly as homophobic as the Gay press and political class make it out to be. Simply put, many Gays have walked away from the once popular notion of homophobia dominating the world according to the Gay journalism universe. And they’re tired of being called “nut jobs” and in need of psychiatric help if they don’t vote Democratic or for more government.

Furthermore, many - approximately 3040%- embrace the Republican position of less taxes, less government, less bailouts, less deficits, less massive foreign borrowing, less Obamamania - and more freedom to run your own life, even the freedom to fail.

Gays know that HIV funding does not disappear with a GOP Congress; they also know that job-protection does not evaporate if Republicans take over the government.

And many Gays just are not interested in marriage as it

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is set up for heterosexuals with all the potential traumatic divorce laws and financial devastation that accompanies traditional marriage. The trap of marriage equality is simply not a first and foremost concern to many thoughtful Gay people.

Gay people were very involved with the Tea Party, phone bank operations and a multitude of effective get-outthe-vote efforts to help the Republicans win a historical election, and deliver a massive repudiation of the extreme elements that have defined the first two years of Obama. And that’s a fact worth noting.

Matthew Tsien, Former Public Affairs Director, DC Chapter, Log Cabin Republicans

Ending Tax Cuts for High Income Brackets is Right for Small Business To the Editor: A good friend and fellow businessman once told me, “Give me more customers and I’ll be forced to buy equipment and hire people to meet demand. Give me a tax break without more customers and I’ll just go to Aruba.”

Ending the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest taxpayers is the right thing to do for small businesses. I’ll say that again: it’s the right move for small business. Let me explain.

I consider myself an example of an average small business owner in Nebraska. I have 30 employees. My custom screen-printing business does $2 million plus in annual sales. My personal income as the owner is less than $85,000 a year.

It’s a comfortable living, but ending the Bush-era cuts on the top two brackets won’t come close to impacting me. And it won’t impact the other small business owners I know, either. The top brackets won’t kick in until your taxable income is over $200,000/year for individuals and $250,000/year for couples, and they’ll only apply to the portion of your income above those amounts, not below them. Less than 3 percent of taxpayers reporting any business income (not limited to small business income) earn enough to break into the top two brackets.

The idea that ending the Bush cuts for the top brackets will hamper small businesses’ ability to reinvest is a complete red herring. Any true small business that ends up with more than $250,000 net profit flowing through to the owner at the end of the year needs to hire a better accountant and rethink its business plan.

Let’s use me as an example. I gross a lot in sales, sure, but I’m busy reinvesting that money back into my business – buying equipment, promoting my business and hiring more workers. The dollars I reinvest don’t pass through onto my personal tax return so I don’t care if that rate changes a little bit, and neither do the millions of other true small business owners in this country.

Despite all this, some politicians continue to recycle the tired old myth that a small change in the top brackets will hurt business owners’ ability to reinvest in our businesses. There are two possible explanations for this.

First, these politicians have never been close enough to a small business to learn how our taxes actually work. We’ll call that an accidental sin of ignorance. A simple cure is to get out and meet some small business owners in their home states and hear about our day-to-day operations.

Second, some politicians are playing fast and loose with the facts. They know better, but they just don’t care.

That’s intellectual dishonesty – a different kind of sin.

Not much I can do to help there.

The bottom line is small businesses don’t need another tax giveaway. What we need are policies that restore our customer base by getting people back to work in our communities and putting money in their pockets to spend in our businesses.

Ending the high-end tax cuts would free up close to $40 billion in 2011 and $700 billion over the next 10 years to invest in job creation and rebuild our customer base.

That’s what small businesses really need.

Sincerely, Rick Poore Lincoln, Nebraska

But that’s not all.

That 3 percent figure includes Wall Street hedge fund managers and K Street lobbyists whose income is reported as business income on their personal tax returns. Not exactly what you’d think of as small businesses, or our nation’s job creators.

Last time I checked, Wall Street types and their K Street friends had driven the economy into a ditch the size of the Grand Canyon and killed over 8 million jobs. Do they really deserve another tax giveaway to reward their efforts?

Republican Ave is so not as much fun as Electric Avenue. What is Eddy Grant doing these days?

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Ever wonder how many human nuts get cracked each year in one of those things?

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Dayton Drag Queen, India Ferrah, Joins Season 3 of RuPaul’s Drag Race The third season of the pop culture phenomenon, RuPaul’s Drag Race, is coming. With it, another representative from Ohio. Miss India Ferrah of Dayton will be one of RuPaul’s 12 glamorous contestants, fighting it out for the crown of next drag superstar. India’s bio video states that she makes her own dresses, makeup and hair. She believes this authenticity will give her the edge against the other queens.

Outlands space.

As one bar exits, another enters to bring new life to the scene.

Traxx Columbus is an expansion of Traxx Atlanta and Traxx Girls. Traxx Atlanta was founded 22 years ago by three guys who wanted to give the African American LGBT community a place to hang out and mingle with one another. It has been very successful in Atlanta by being one of the longest running clubs in the city. Traxx Atlanta is known to have events that are hosted by celebrities such as: Lil Kim, Amber Rose, Fantasia, Keri Hilson, Trina and many others. They have sponsored parties in various cities throughout the U.S. They are also active members in there community by participating and being active in AIDS awareness, toy and can food drives, and a organization entitled CHRIS children.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner 2011 The anticipated event gets a date! Next year’s Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner event will be held March 26, starting at 6p in the Lincoln Theatre ballroom. First opened in 1928, the Lincoln Theatre is a landmark in African-American and jazz history. Having recently completed a $13.5 million renovation funded by a partnership of public and private support, the Lincoln has reopened as a multi-use, state-of-the-art performing arts and education center serving the diversity of the Columbus and central Ohio community and ten resident Columbus arts organizations.

Sue Doerfer’s tremendous and dedicated work was much appreciated by the community, and we recognize that there is still work to be done.

Holiday Hustle & Bustle: A Cheat Sheet/ Calendar

From King Avenue Church hosting a performance of the Columbus Gay Men's Chorus and Temple Israel offering a Shabat service and Hanukkah dinner on December 3 to King Avenue's yummylicious All Church Christmas luncheon on December 26 and brief Advent Communion Services all month long, with Tifereth Israel's annual Hanukkah dinner featuring the Yiddishe Cup India has made drag her full time job. She also Klezmer Band and an amazing dreidle spinning creates gowns and wigs for other drag queens, in contest, North Broadway United Methodist addition to her 11 years of experience doing this Church's Blue Christmas service (for those of us on her own. And yet with this extensive resume, As always, guests will convene at the same startfeeling all “Bah-humbug!” and stuff) and the Traxx Atlanta wanted to extend their brand in she’s afraid to lip sync for her life. Well let’s hope ing location, and then split off into different Humanist Community of Central Ohio's annual it doesn’t come to that for Ohio’s latest addition Columbus, Ohio, hoping to have more success groups for an evening of mystery and new dinner in between, Central Ohio's communities of with its name.

Currently, there are no Black clubs to the Race. conviction, principles and ethical reasoning will for the LGBT community in Columbus, Ohio. Traxx friends. Each home will host 8 to 10 dinner guests, all selected at random to make for an inoffer much of the warmth of the Season and just Atlanta tapped two guys (Charles and Rod) in The new season premieres in January on Logo. teresting course of events. One thing’s for sure: plain fun, fun, fun!

Columbus, Ohio with the idea of placing one in the city. Traxx Columbus will strive to uphold and the conversation won’t get dull! Most of the fun is bring more success to the Traxx brand. They plan waiting in anticipation to see who you will meet GBLT-welcoming and -affirming churches will Tradewinds II Closes, that evening. offer more than 30 Christmas Eve services with a on being involved in community outreach and wide variety of interpretations, approaches and Traxx Columbus Opens bringing some of the best events Ohio has ever Ticket proceeds benefit BRAVO. styles. seen.

After 33 years of serving the Columbus downtown The original intent of this compilation was to area, Tradewinds II has closed its doors for good. Traxx Columbus is currently open on Fridays. They Equality Ohio Loses present the calendar in its entirety right here in The complex at 117 E Chestnut St (including the have a 25 and up happy hour from 8:30p to Executive Director print. However, with over 100 entries from more Plugged Nickel kitchen) was one of Columbus’s 10:30p ($5 cover), which doubles as open mic. than 30 communities of conviction, inspiration longest-standing bars. Self-described as a Bring your music, comedy, spoken word or other “cruise bar” for business men and leather men talents and show off a little. After 10:30p, the bar Sue Doerfer has stepped down from her position and ethical values, no page would fit them all. as Executive Director of Equality Ohio. Kim Welter alike, Tradewinds offered an established and goes 18 and up. Cover charge for 18 - 20 is $8, So check out the calendar in its entirety where J. classic atmosphere that’s difficult to find in the cover for 21 and up is $6. Traxx is located at 95 and Michele Hopkins will continue to serve the Eric Peters, who compiled it, placed it for easy acrest of Columbus’s more modern gay bars.

Liberty St in the Brewery District, which is the old community in her absence. cess on the Facebook page The Rest of the Story. outlookcolumbus.com

Tradewinds was open for 12,797 days. How many of those days were you there?

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Record Number of Openly Gay Officials Serving in Obama’s Administration Less than halfway through his first term, President Barack Obama has appointed more openly gay officials than any other president in history.

Gay activists say the estimate of more than 150 appointments so far - from agency heads and commission members to policy officials and senior staffers - surpasses the previous high of about 140 reached during two full terms under President Bill Clinton. “From everything we hear from inside the administration, they wanted this to be part of their efforts at diversity,” said Denis Dison, spokesman for the Presidential Appointments Project of the Gay & Lesbian Leadership Institute.

The pace of appointments has helped to ease broader disappointment among gay rights groups that Obama has not acted more quickly on other fronts, such as ending the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that bans gays from serving openly in the military. In a sign of how times have changed, few of the appointees - about two dozen required Senate confirmation - have stirred much controversy. It’s a far cry from the 1993 furor surrounding Clinton’s nomination of then-San Francisco Supervisor Roberta Achtenberg as assistant secretary for Housing and Urban Development. Achtenberg was the first openly gay official to serve at such a senior level, and she won confirmation despite contentious hearings and Sen. Jesse Helms, R-N.C., who denounced her as a “militant extremist.”

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“It’s both significant and rather ordinary,” said Michael Cole, a spokesman for the gay rights group Human Rights Campaign. “It’s a simple affirmation of the American ideal that what matters is how you do your job and not who you are.” Gay activists, among Obama’s strongest supporters, had hoped he would be the first to appoint an openly gay Cabinet secretary. While that hasn’t happened - yet - Obama did appoint the highest-ranking gay official ever when he named John Berry as director of the Office of Personnel Management, which oversees the nation’s 1.9 million federal workers. Other prominent names include Nancy Sutley, chairwoman of the White House Council on Environmental Quality, and Fred Hochberg, chairman of the Export-Import Bank. Obama also named Amanda Simpson, the first openly transgender appointee, as a senior technical adviser in the Commerce Department. And David Huebner, ambassador to New Zealand and Samoa, is the third openly gay ambassador in U.S. history.

White House spokesman Shin Inouye confirmed the record number, saying Obama has hired more gay officials than the Clinton and George W. Bush administrations combined. He said Obama “is proud that his appointments reflect the diversity of the American public.”

ending “don’t ask, don’t tell” and repealing the Defense of Marriage Act, which prohibits federal recognition of same-sex partnerships. “For a community that is denied their equality, there will continue to be frustration at the pace of change,” he said.

a serious blow to the LGBT community. The presumptive leadership team of Reps. Boehner, Cantor and Pence all score zeros on the HRC scorecard and many soon-to-be committee chairs have long anti-LGBT records. The past four years of Democratic leadership stopped anti-equality lawmakers from being able to move the most damaging legislation and Election Results Bring amendments forward, however, the 110th and New Challenges, Some 111th Congresses did not hold pro-equality maOpportunities for LGBT jorities on every issue. The 112th Congress will prove even more challenging in rounding up the Equality votes needed to advance pro-LGBT legislation.

A particular disappointment is the loss of “Don’t The initial results of Election Day indicate new Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal champion Patrick Murphy challenges as well as some opportunities ahead in the U.S. House. for moving forward on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality, said the Human The outlook in the states remains more hopeful Rights Campaign – the nation’s largest LGBT for moving LGBT issues forward. In New York civil rights organization. The loss of the House voters chose marriage equality supporter Anof Representatives to an anti-equality leaderdrew Cuomo along several new state senators ship, along with the loss of some fair-minded who support equal marriage. In Minnesota, votSenators, will certainly impede federal legisla- ers rejected Tom Emmer and instead chose tive efforts. Perhaps most strikingly though, Mark Dayton who has pledged to sign a samecandidates who were the most vociferous oppo- sex marriage bill into law. In other states like nents of LGBT equality did not fare well against Maryland, Hawaii, Rhode Island and Colorado, fair-minded candidates. the coming year may see additional opportunities to advance relationship recognition laws.

“Social justice movements always experience steps forward and steps back and this election HRC endorsed 202 candidates for the U.S House It was in early 2008 that the Gay & Lesbian Leadership Institute focused its Presidential Ap- turned out to be a mix of both,” said HRC Presi- of Representatives, 21 candidates for the U.S. pointments Project on steering thousands of re- dent Joe Solmonese. “Even though we will face Senate and 16 candidates for Governor. Of the greater challenges in moving federal legislation 164 races where a winner has been called, 80% sumes of qualified gay professionals to White House jobs. Dison said that push has helped in- forward, nothing will stop us from using every of HRC endorsed candidates have won. crease the numbers, though it certainly helped tool to advance LGBT equality at every level. AtThe Human Rights Campaign is America’s largest civil to have a more receptive White House. Cole, of tempts to hold back the tide of the equality movement will surely put anti-LGBT leaders on rights organization working to achieve lesbian, gay, bisexthe Human Rights Campaign, called the inual and transgender equality. By inspiring and engaging all crease a welcome development, but said there the wrong side of history.”

Americans, HRC strives to end discrimination against LGBT is more focus on real legislative gains, such as citizens and realize a nation that achieves fundamental The loss of the House to anti-equality leaders is fairness and equality for all.

Did you know the cast iron dome of the United States Capitol is not the first dome to sit above the building, but the second? Interesting...

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COMMUNITY RESOURCES SPONSORED BY MALCOLM RIGGLE & CMR INC.

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Next time you see Malcolm Thank him for sponsoring this page!

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Cut ‘N Blow Takes A Little Off The Top Of The Short North

by Jon Dunn “We wanted to live where we worked and the Short North seemed perfect for what we wanted to do,” says Mike Scheblo as he and his Cut ‘N’ Blow partner, Rob Ortiz, sit down in the light of late afternoon in the lobby of the North High Street storefront.

Rob, originally from Southern California, met Mike 9 years ago in Los Angeles. Mike grew up in Ohio, but life led him out of the Buckeye state and on to other adventures on the West Coast. Years away from home, Mike began longing for a more rural environment and began introducing the idea of moving back to Ohio to Rob. They first moved to NYC as a compromise. “Rob had never lived where the season’s change,” Mike tells me, “or away from a metropolis, so New York was a first step and a way to at least test out the climate. Being closer to home, the couple made more frequent trips to the Heart of It All, but the decision to relocate to Columbus didn’t cement till after they returned for Pride two years ago. As they visited friends and strolled through the Short North district, they felt a great vibe in the neighborhood and the sense of possibility began to stoke their ambition.

“It wasn’t a particularly tough decision, but it was a hard one,” says Mike about setting up in the Short North. “To see all the salons in the district and wanting to stand out and be different, not just be a knock-off of where we had worked before. We knew we had a challenge ahead of us, but we were excited.” They sat down and drew out on paper exactly the look and feel they wanted the shop to present. “We had an idea for a slogan that said ‘Step into New York, Stay in Columbus,” explains Rob, “so that was a starting point.”

Was deciding to locate in the Short North, which has no shortage of salons, a calculated risk? “We visited tons of shops here in the Short North and read the menus, seeing what services they offered,” Rob explains, “and we felt that we have something different to offer.”

Mike adds that locating at the north edge of the district may be an advantage. “The other

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shops seem to clustered further south, so this location gives us access to the people at this end of the Short North and to the campus district, as well. I think this part of the district is just beginning to bloom.”

Rob feels that his hair-coloring prowess and techniques are what will set Cut ‘N’ Blow apart from other salons in the area. A veteran of the hair business and the famous Bumble & Bumble Salon in NYC, Rob feels he brings a different set of skills and style to Columbus.

“I use a lot of techniques that aren’t done here,” he says, “Coloring hair is so much more than just applying a color the client chooses and sending them off. There’s so much to consider: I look at their skin tone, their eye color, what they wear. I ask them about their lifestyle and what they want the cut and style to do for them, how it’ll make them feel good about themselves.” This personalized consultation creates a dialogue and system of trust between the client and Rob, helping him to make informed suggestions about the client’s desires.

Rob’s easygoing yet confident demeanor sets people at ease in his chairs, while his calm chatter actually digs deeper into the client’s motivation for change. When asked if he is a perfectionist, they both smile and Rob admits, “I am - it’s a curse! I do not know how to do ugly hair!”

When asked about their ideal client, Rob suggests that they are “someone who appreciates and cares about their looks, who’s willing to educate themselves and learn how to make their looks last.” And the shop is not exclusively for women; copies of Vogue and Vanity Fair lie beside Maxim and Sports Illustrated on the waiting area table. “We hope to have as many male customers as female ones,” he adds. And both felt that providing a competitive pricing schedule would help bring in new clients. “Girls cut and style start out at $35 and men’s cuts start out at $18; we feel this is very competitive in a market where we still need to establish ourselves, says Rob.” He also instills this confidence in his team of

stylists, whom he personally selects and trains.

Monday is a training day at the salon, with stylists bringing in models to style, while Rob advises and shares his expertise. “I tell them when they come in that we are not a “volume” shop, trying to turn over as many clients as we can in a day. I look for people who are willing to learn new techniques and to be consistent, while learning to connect with their clients.”

Currently the staff is four stylists, with Rob as the lead stylist and shop manager. He rolls his eyes when asked if he had to be relicensed in Ohio.

“Yes, I had to get a new license as a stylist and as the shop manager,” he says with a sigh.

“Originally, Mike was to be the shop manager, but according to Ohio law, he cannot manage the shop because he is not a licensed stylist.

“It’s ridiculous. Technically I own the shop.

Even though I have years of experience managing people,” Mike explains, “because I am not a licensed stylist, I can’t be the shop manager!

We found that particularly frustrating.”

What hasn’t been frustrating them is the salon itself. Both guys are extremely happy with how the shop turned out.

“We took elements from other salons and combined them, Rob explains, adding “and I definitely wanted it to be an entertaining environment.” A ring of widescreen TVs encircle the shop floor at eye level, all of them able to be tuned to any channel or streaming video provided by Rob and Mike. “We can put anything we want on any of the screens, so client’s can watch something specific, or the content we provide, if they like,” Mike offers. While the TVs play in the background, some music is brought in, but at a level where it doesn’t intrude in conversations. As the ambience was set, they looked to creating the artistic palette that served as the décor.

“Many salons are decorated with ‘earth tones’ and fancy lighting and curtains,” Rob says, “and what they do, we definitely did not want to do. The interior of the new space features lots of exposed brick and an open floor design leaving plenty of room for stylists and clients

I usually blow, then cut.

alike. Large windows facing High Street bring in plenty of sunlight that enhances the shop’s own halogens. And as the space took shape, Rob decided that they needed an artistic element to bring more color and some urban edge to the design.

In a stroke of inspired genius, Mike and Rob “made a phone call to the OSU Arts Department and asked them to recommend some graffiti artists, not taggers, to provide a mural for the large wall flanking the shop floor.” The department dutifully sent over some artists for Rob and Mike to review. When they saw the work of Robert Garrison, an OSU grad living in Chicago, they found the element they had been searching for. Garrison’s vibrant wash of flowing color anchors the shop floor design without overpowering it, and balances well with the clean lines of the shop.

Both Rob and Mike are thrilled with the outcome. To show off their masterpiece, the guys removed the awing off the front of the shop to let in more light and make it less boutiquey.

“We were wary of the regulations the city has for storefronts when we started,” Rob says.

This time, Mike rolls his eyes in exasperation “We got quite an education in the zoning rules and regulations, but it worked out. Despite all of that, we are so happy to be here in the Short North.” And as the NYC transplants continue to acclimate to Columbus, they are beginning to feel at home. “We wanted to be here and it is starting to feel so right,” Rob offers. “Now if we could just get the Gallery Hop to move just a little north...” which makes them both laugh.

“We’re keeping our fingers crossed!”

Rob stands up and surveys the open design and colorful mural with arms folded but with a wide smile on his face. “It’s like my playhouse,” he says, “coming into the shop now makes me feel so good. It makes me happy to be around things that excite me!”

Cut ’N’ Blow is located at 1244 N High St, just past Fifth Avenue. Call them at 614.824.1619. The hours are Tuesday through Friday 11a to 8p, and on Saturdays from 9a to 6p.

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LOW (od

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Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday Day to You , Happy Birthday Dear Kyle, Happy Bearific Birthday to YOU! Grrrowl!

dec 2010

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Healthy Living in Columbus Barb Seckler promotes options to residents, from active lifestyles to healthy eating

by Michael Daniels As Director of Mayor Michael Coleman’s Institute for Healthy Living, community member Barb Seckler works to reduce childhood obesity, increase residents’ access to physical activity and fresh food, and implement strategies to make Columbus a more active, vibrant place to live. As a veteran in public service, she worked with Governor Richard Celeste as Deputy Communications Director from 1985-1990. She previously served as Director of Marketing and Public Relations for Opera Columbus from 1990-1998, Communications Director for Columbus City Council, and as Assistant Director and Deputy Director at the Department of Public Safety since 2000. She lives in Clintonville, is a recreational cyclist, and has great, old dirt in her backyard garden.

I caught up with Barb to learn more about the Institute and how she’s making our City a healthier and better community.

Michael Daniels: What is Get Active Columbus and the Institute for Healthy Living, and how do they work together? Who are your other partners?

Barb Seckler: If you want to look good and feel good for a sunny destination around the holidays, then consider a dose of Active Living. The Institute for Active Living at Columbus Public Health works to provide more access to nutritious food and more opportunities for physical activity to tackle the obesity epidemic.

My message to GLBT members and our entire community is to get off the couch, turn off BRAVO and LOGO and let’s leave our Facebook page and

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get moving! Hit the dance floor or shop down the long streets of Easton. You would be amazed at how good it feels to do something, anything, but be sedentary. Being active is a great stress buster and it’s fun.

The same goes for eating your vegetables! If you don’t like bags of tiny carrots or an apple a day, try something new that tastes good. Check out the many restaurants and food trucks that serve delicious local food.

MD: What kind of progress are Columbus residents making toward getting more active and healthier?

BS: Each year that we walk in the Gay Pride Parade, participate in a charity walk to support HIV care, or contribute to a neighborhood food pantry, we take a step in the right direction. Has anyone noticed how many more bicycles are on our busy streets? Cyclists are happily part of the traffic pattern! Those bicycle markings up and down High Street are not street art! The “sharrows” are one way to remind cyclists and motorists to share the road and be safe.

One key measure to our progress is engaging the entire Central Ohio community. Non-profits, schools, community groups, government agencies, health care organizations and private sector heroes like the Columbus Foundation and the United Way of Central Ohio understand the importance of Active Living principles. It will take all of us, including the GLBT community, to give the gift of an active, healthier life to others.

MD: What challenges remain for us to overcome?

BS: Two facts describe the seriousness of this challenge. Children today are expected to live shorter lives than their parents. In addition, during the most recent school year, 43 percent of kindergartners, 40 percent of third graders and 46 percent of fifth graders were overweight. We have the best minds, the best practices and the best programs working diligently to reverse these alarming health trends.

MD: Are there specific health and fitness concerns that we as GLBT people need to make sure we take notice of?

BS: Prevention is our friend. The GLBT community understands the importance of practicing safe sexual health behavior. Yet new cases of HIV and Sexually Transmitted Diseases are being diagnosed at an unacceptable rate.

We are also vulnerable to the same health issues related to chronic disease. A guiding principle of Active Living is that health is about more than health care. The choices we make are based on the choices we have. Therefore, we are only as healthy as the neighborhood and world in which we live.

GLBT people can serve as great role models by eating nutritious food and all food in moderation.

We can be physically active by doing simple things like taking the stairs at work, walking the dog, and enjoying Central Ohio’s green space.

MD: Where can residents find out about the City’s active lifestyle benefits and facilities?

BS: Don’t have a warm, sunny destination on the calendar yet? Go online (this one time) and click on our calendar at www.getactivecolumbus.com.

I would love to live in the Health Department’s palace. Can we talk about how amazing that place is for a second?

The City’s new website is housed at Columbus Public Health. It tells you about upcoming events.

It provides an online map describing local places in your neighborhood to get active. It features a wide range of locations from Columbus parks, recreation centers and pools to dog parks and farmer’s markets. Our website also shares local celebrity fitness tips. Wait until you see the one by Andrea Cambern. Yes, we will soon have a “Partners Page” and no, you will not see your name there. Our community needs Active Living partners like the YMCA and other outstanding organizations to guide us on the way to a healthier life.

For many of us, this is a personal issue. My partner continues to receive compliments as her fitness skyrockets and her clothes size declines. I’m so proud of her and she loves feeling and looking better.

For more information you can email me at bjseckler@columbus.gov, call me at 614.645.4798, or go online to surf www.getactivecolumbus.com.and www.activeliving.columbus.gov.

MD: What are some of your tips for staying active and healthy over the holidays?

BS: Purchase a loved one who swims an underwater MP3 player to listen while they do laps.

Wear a pair of winter crocs and get outside. Try drinking a glass of water to fill up before a big meal. If you have gone down a size or two, treat yourself to some new clothes for a special occasion. Here is one last tip. Rather than making a New Year’s Resolution to diet or exercise, make active living a way of life!

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The grass is always greener at Framers.

dec 2010

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When the Pope Has AIDS

by Mickey Weems The pope suffers from Apostolic Immunity-Depravity Syndrome.

Like Acquired Immuno-Deficiency Syndrome, the pope’s condition is not properly a disease in itself, but rather the accumulation of damages caused by diseases that afflict a person who has no checks on personal power. Crippling spiritual illnesses such as arrogance, deception, and unmitigated hypocrisy are ravaging not just the pope, but also many of the cardinals, high-ranking shepherds in charge of a billion-person flock. This form of spiritual AIDS prevents Church authorities from protecting the littlest, most vulnerable lambs: the children.

All of us suffer occasional bouts of arrogance, deception, and hypocrisy. But we are usually given strong doses of criticism from those around us to bring us back to healthy humility. This is the value of living in a community with others unlike ourselves: we check each other’s excesses.

Those in power tend to be removed from such a diverse community. Wall Street executives, insurance tycoons, talk-show loonies, and the current Republican leadership live in narrow enclaves among other who are also sick, and may fail to receive the healing ministrations of fellow citizens. They have isolated themselves in luxurious hospital wards with no doctor in sight.

Cardinal Sin Such is the case of Ratzinger, locked away for decades from the everyday people that make up the better part of the Catholic Church, except when he goes for the occasional photo-op.

The media have been reporting the criminal behavior of cardinals who protected child-molesting priests for years. Sometimes Church authorities would sic lawyers on the families of victims, threatening to bankrupt the parents and throw their names in the dirt. The only real evidence of contrition emerged when the Church was forced to pay millions of dollars to victims. In other words, those who have segregated themselves from the rest of us only feel the need for atonement when they have no choice but to respond.

There is no doubt that the current pope broke the law years ago when he aided in refusals to report or punish a priest in Wisconsin who had molested 200 deaf children. To make it worse, the abusive priest was allowed to continue working with children, even after being caught time and time again.

But the Vatican will not acknowledge the wrong committed by then-cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who now goes by the title of Benedict XVI. And there is nothing anyone can do about it, at least not in terms of our courts. International law protects him. As the leader of Vatican City, a sovereign state, the pope is immune to ordinary prosecution outside of his own territory, proof be damned. And since he rules the only place where a trial could take place, he will never be officially charged with the crime that we all know he committed. Barring a miracle, he will never admit to his own personal guilt.

Church Militant The latest wave of child abuse allegations have come from Ireland and Germany, resulting in at least two bishops resigning and a generic yet stirring apology from the pope in the name of the Church. But the allegations in Germany have been linked to the person of Ratzinger, as has the case of the priest in Wisconsin.

The defenses offered in the name of the pope have been at various points bizarre, insulting, and even comical. We have heard to the point of deadly boredom that saying anything against the pope is an attack on the entire Church. A cardinal in Honduras has publicly stated that Jews are responsible for media coverage of child-molesting priests and the Church leaders who protect them. Another Vatican official said that accusations against the pope are as bad as the worst acts of anti-semitism, thus linking those who criticize the pope with Nazis. One particularly obnoxious American said the pope did no wrong because the accused priests were not pedophiles. Priests mostly abused youngsters who had reached puberty, thus the problem was that of homosexuality, not pedophilia. Don’t blame Ratzinger, blame The Gays.

With this kind of logic, a man who rapes a post-pubescent girl has not committed a crime, and if you

think he did, you could just be a Hitler-loving faggot Jew, should that man be a representative of Christ.

Such nonsense in defense of one’s leaders is symptomatic of people who think in terms of a universe at war. They do not see the hue and cry against Ratzinger as honest inquiry, but rather as an unprovoked attack that deserves a response in kind.

priests could be defused. And, of course, dating and marriage for the Straight ones should do wonders for heterosexual abusers. Rest assured, however, the problem will never completely go away, making it absolutely imperative that abuse must be confronted immediately and with full force of secular, as well as, spiritual law. Whatever a child molester receives in terms of punishment, those who cover it up deserve even more for enabling the abuse.

The Queer Truth About Catholic Priests

Other Criminal Popes in History

Here is the real story about homosexual priests. At least a third of Roman Catholic priests have samesex romantic-erotic orientation. In addition to love of God, many of them become priests precisely because they know, either intuitively or explicitly, they should not marry women, and they do not wish to court damnation and condemnation by coming out as Gay. When they enter the priesthood, they must mask their desires from those around them, and even hide their desires from themselves by internally suffocating their feelings of attraction to other men. Suffocated desires have a nasty habit of resurrecting from the dead in mindless, brutal ways.

Sometimes Catholics forget that the pope is not the Church. Those of us who have studied history know that popes have resigned due to incompetence, and still others should have resigned due to corruption. In the mid-eleventh century, Benedict IX sold the papacy for money, got it back by force, and then was forced out. Four hundred years later, Alexander VI ruled as pope until his death, despite a reputation for murder, illegitimate children and a fondness for orgies. Of the two, Alexander damaged the Church more because he was not deposed while he lived. Ratzinger promises to be a similar disaster.

But those ways need not be expressed in criminal behavior. The percentage of priests that have been caught abusing children is about 4 percent. Out of these, approximately a fifth of them have abused girls. This means that a bit over 3 percent have abused boys.

Ratzinger is not the same kind of criminal as Benedict IX and Alexander VI, but he is a criminal nonetheless and he compounds his sins with every denial. For the good of his Church and his flock, he needs to atone for his most grievous faults by resigning. To loosely paraphrase King Henry IV of Germany when he wrote to Pope Gregory VII in 1076 AD: Descend, descend, Joseph Ratzinger, or be damned throughout the ages.

Out of that 3 percent, it may be reasonably argued that the majority are homosexual men, although the argument is hardly foolproof considering that sexual predation is often based on availability of victims rather than the orientation of the abuser.

Just think of prison rape among male inmates. If we assume, however, that the majority of the 3 percent are homosexual, it still means that only 6 to 9 percent of homosexual priests are child molesters.

The other 91 to 94 percent of them are not, and chances are that 96 percent of homosexual priests would never molest the lambs in their care.

If the Church hierarchy would allow homosexual priests the courtesy of being honest with themselves, to visit the tubs occasionally or even (gasp) have another priest as a “dear companion,” a significant motivator for boy-rape among homosexual

After he resigns from the papacy, Ratzinger should make a pilgrimage to San Francisco. He should seek forgiveness from the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, those sacred drag-queen nuns of the Gay community. There he can receive absolution from Queers who represent so much of what is holy, compassionate, and scandalous in his LGBTQ congregation. The Sisters have blessed hundreds of thousands of people with biological AIDS, and there is no doubt they could help him with his chronic case of spiritual AIDS. Their ridicule, camp, and eternal merriment would be just the balm that could heal the festering sore that all the robes and crowns of the papacy cannot hide.

You can contact Mickey Weems at mickeyweems@yahoo.com.

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Gold Prada shoes...

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Imagine if their moms read their diaries...yiles!

dec 2010

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Stepping Up

by Mette Bach Maybe it’s too early to tell. I mean, it’s only been three weeks.

Okay, three and a half. But I feel like I’m ready to commit. And maybe I’ve said that before and been wrong but it doesn’t feel like I’m wrong this time. She’s perfect. What’s more, she’s perfect for me. She holds me accountable for my own stuff, she’s simple (not stupid or anything but like that kind of voluntary simplicity found in ancient sages) and she’s elegant. Not to mention, she’s honest. I’ve never even known anyone as honest as her. She’s, like, painfully honest, you know?

And she was right there, under my nose, all along, just like in all the clichés. We’d spent the most amazing September together. It felt like summer never even ended. We went for walks every day.

Sometimes a glorious sunrise, sometimes in the afternoon and sometimes we’d take a romantic evening stroll. It never even occurred to me to be with her - I mean really seriously be with her until my friend said, “If you love your pedometer so much, why don’t you marry it?”

And I felt offended. Who wouldn’t? What an insult. “It? It? Um, her name is Wilma and you know what, maybe I will marry her.”

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from her every day. It’s not that I needed her approval or anything. It was more like I wanted to be my best self for her. It’s hard to explain. Love is always hard to explain.

Life has been complicated for a long time for me. Suddenly, I find myself in the presence of something really simple and it’s liberating. One foot in front of another. One step at a time. There’s just something about the relationship that eases my tension.

It’s like on some intuitive level, Wilma just totally gets me. She knows I can’t handle anything too heavy. She doesn’t need to process. She isn’t pushing me to rush into anything. She doesn’t want to settle down or have kids or live on a goat farm and make organic cheese. None of the pressures I’m used to apply to our bond. In fact, I’ve never experienced anything like this. It’s total freedom and it suits me so much.

I think it’s true what they say that if you love someone, set them free. I feel like this is what Wilma has done for me. Ours is a kind of back to basics relationship. We experience the exhilaration of fresh air and the triumph of good, clean healthy habits. It’s like we get to be fourteen again and get to experience butterflies in the belly. There’s a stillness about her that I admire.

My friend laughed and I guess I can understand that. I mean she’s “just” a pedometer after all. But, in all honesty, this is the perfect relationship for me at this point in my life.

Plus, I think it’s telling that all my friends have noticed her positive influence. “What have you done with your hair?” They ask.

“Have you lost weight?” “You look happy.” They say. And, of course, they follow with: “Who is she?” “When did this happen?”

When she first came into my life, I wasn’t looking to get into anything serious. We’d go for walks together and afterwards, I’d feel a sense of calm. Sometimes, if she told me I’d walked ten thousand steps, I’d feel a sense of accomplishment and I’d give myself the proverbial pat on the back. Before I knew it, I wanted this

And I pat my hip and say, “Yes, everything is perfect right now.”

And: “I think I’m in love.”

dec 2010

or anything. That’s not even age-appropriate anymore. What I mean is that I’ve started taking things into account that I didn’t used to think about. I’ve gotten shoes that are good for my posture and lightweight clothing that keeps me dry so we can walk in the rain. I want to age gracefully with Wilma. I didn’t ever used to think about stuff like that and now I find I can’t help myself.

But the best part is that she doesn’t care how I look. She’s just as present with me whether I just rolled out of bed and threw my hair into a ponytail as she is if I really put in an effort. She’s great that way. No judgments from her. Maybe that’s why it’s easy for me to abandon insecurities around her. Because I find that I am. I’m able to just be myself and that’s such a great feeling.

I know that all of this might sound like some kind of cheap trick, like I’ve learned how to fool myself into thinking that a relationship with an inanimate object is a real relationship. And that what I’m missing is the good old-fashioned common sense knowledge that this cannot possibly be a real relationship. But as I wandered through the city streets, park paths and beach boardwalks, I came to the most delightful conclusion. All relationships are what we make of them. Commitment to a relationship is a form of commitment to oneself. I feel ready to commit to myself and to give myself the gift of a daily dose of fresh air and a slow moving environment. I feel ready to give myself the gift of exercise and balance. And Wilma is right there with me, urging me onward. That is definitely a real relationship and a darn good one.

Mette Bach’s first book, Off The Highway is available from www.newstarbooks.com/OffTheHighway.

I’m even starting to dress better. I don’t mean more provocatively

What is a reverse camel toe called?

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I love you, Ewan MacGregor.

dec 2010

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EVEN

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Mind over Mass

by Mario Pinardi Who is thinking about a P90X workout at 3:30a? Or, who wants to look like the Kardashian floozies with QuickTrim at 4a? I am that person who falls asleep on the couch with the TV on, and I hate waking up to all of those infomercials that tell me how fat I am. The premise of these infomercials is that I should buy their product to get rid of my fat. I could get into the typical “fat vs. skinny bitches” gay diatribe, but I am not. We all know that there will always be groups of gays who are beyond conceit that believe beauty is power, and that those who are fat & not so beautiful are not powerful. The amount of people who believe this crap is dwindling, and if you do believe that beauty = power, then you are a dumb ass who needs to find your own beauty within. I mean look at Bill Gates? His look is bad vintage Harry Potter.

But, I digress...

You would think as we progress, technologically and medically, that physical beauty and body mass would be become less of a focus, but I think the reverse has happened. In the last week, I have awakened from my post-beer stupor to 15 different infomercials that have focused on lessening your body mass, and five different infomercials focusing on extremely complex skin care regimes. And, most of these infomercials have appeared on gay networks. Really. What about the infomercial about being healthy, no matter what your body mass is? Investing in health is completely different than investing in a quick aesthetic. There is nothing that I have seen in gay mass media that promotes purely health and not just body beautiful. Where do all of the healthy, bulky boys & girls go, and where do they fit in? Nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

Our gay community has plenty of other concerns around health that have no reference to body mass. According to the Gay & Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA) web site, current health issues that are still prevalent in the GLBT community are: substance abuse, unprotected sex/STD’s, depression/anxiety, domestic abuse, and basic access to health care, and there are still many more to list. Our community is less likely to get tested for health issues such as breast cancer, testicular cancer, skin cancer, and gynecological issues. We still have a fear of being out to our physicians and there are many reports of GLBT individuals being refused health care be-

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dec 2010

Chris goes to mass at St Mary’s in German Village. Michael does not.

cause they were gay, lesbian, bi, or transgender. And, then add to that, employers that make domestic partner benefits pricey due to an imputed income tax. We pay, on average, over $1,000 more per pay period for the same benefits as our straight married colleagues, and sometimes our coverage is still unequal. So, now is that new workout gimmick infomercial on gay cable really so important?

As I said in previous rants, I am not a politically savvy person, but I have a passion for being healthy, in mind and body. We have perpetuated a cycle of dysfunction when it comes to health. Gay mass media and the fashion industry have created a business model around us longing to be Ken dolls. The messages we are given is that our average size and our genetics are not good enough and make us less attractive. Yes, I admit I want a nice pair of Italian, over priced jeans sometimes, but I also accept that my big Italian ass won’t fit said jeans. And, I am not going to take wonder drug to lose mass, nor am I going to engage in a workout gimmick that an infomercial says will help me get rock hard abs. There is only one thing I care about that gets rock hard, and stays rock hard.

Get it?

I know this information is obvious, but yet it is still not resonating. I mean our community still perpetuates addictive behavior and unhealthy lifestyle choices. In order to make healthy changes in our lives and in our community, we have to live those changes and respond to the dysfunction.

Stop letting your messy friends stay messy, stop letting your foodie friends gorge themselves in stressful situations, and stop allowing yourself to feel bad because you don’t fit a pair of jeans that are labeled “skinny.” If you want to lose mass, do it for you and not for a pair of jeans, or for a booty call. If you want to eat better, do it because you want to live longer and improve your health statistics, not because your skinny friend(s) made you feel bad about eating pasta. I workout to help with my weight and with my stress levels - a good workout makes me feel less stressed out, plus my flexibility is improving. The changes I made in my life, I made for myself and no one else. But, I do aspire to have super homo stamina in the boudoir, so bring on the Kama Sutra, and add a family-size jar of muscle relaxants. It is going to be a sore night.

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We all butch out for hockey night.

dec 2010

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Jumping Through Healthcare Hoops

by Tara McKenzie Allison

far from their dictates. Here’s where things get tricky, because in an attempt to ensure that there Every month, I am tasked with putting pencil to are “guidelines” to aid professionals in their treatpaper (or fingers to keyboard), to write an article ment of the transgender community, the stanrelated to the theme for that particular month’s dards of care can often create more “issues” for issue. Last month’s theme was politics; this someone who is transitioning. This is especially month’s theme is healthcare. It often takes a bit true, when the medical or clinical professional is for my creative juices to make the connection be- unfamiliar with the guidelines and fails to realize tween the monthly theme and the transgender that they are just “guidelines” and that a “one perspective that I am supposed to bring to it. size fits all” approach, often, can be ineffective.

Sometimes a recent event or personal experience Nevertheless, the standards of care become hoops will provide an interesting framework within which that we - transgender individuals - have to jump I can weave my topic into an interesting story through. that’s fit for print and, possibly, simultaneously informative and entertaining. It’s a process that What do I mean? requires a little creativity, a little skill, and a lot of luck.

For example, according to the standards of care, I need a letter from my therapist to my physician, This whole process was turned around on me with recommending me for hormone treatment, before I this month’s topic - healthcare. My thoughts, can receive such treatment. More than likely, my which would normally be “what the heck am I therapist will not write this letter, until he or she gonna write about?” became “where the heck do I has had adequate time to analyze and diagnose start?” After a bit of reflection, I think I prefer the me - a process that can take as many months former situation; at least in that instance, once (and as many visits) as are required for the theraI’ve found “my muse,” I’m nearly done. In my cur- pist to feel comfortable making this recommendarent situation, I feel like I could go on forever. OMG, tion. The problem? What if I can’t afford all the relax…I won’t! visits to the therapist? What if my therapist never gets around to feeling “comfortable” with making For someone who is transgender, it seems every- the recommendation? How much time is an “adething is related to healthcare. In our transition, we quate” amount to reach this decision? I can’t are guided by the “standards of care,” estabknow from the outset how many visits it’s going to lished by the World Professional Association for take for my therapist to reach this point, so I’m Transgender Health (WPATH) - an international immediately faced with an expensive, open-ended group of medical and clinical professionals, who proposition, with no guarantee that I’ll get the rechave established the “rules” for treating someone ommendation that I’m seeking.

- like me - who is diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder (GID). The standards of care cover nearly Beyond hormone treatment, comes the “real life every aspect of my transition, including mental experience.” This is another requirement that health therapy, requisite letters from mental must be met before my therapist will recommend health professionals regarding recommendations me - to a surgeon - for gender reassignment surfor the start of hormone therapy and gender reas- gery. Essentially, my therapist monitors me, living signment surgeries, and the requirement of a - full time, 24/7 - in the opposite gender for a “real life experience” prior to surgery. minimum of one year. Oh good, another very expensive hoop! For at least one year, I have to live, While these rules are “nonbinding,” most medical 24/7, as a woman, but physically, I am still male. and clinical professionals are unlikely to venture The intent of the real life experience is to ensure

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that the transitioning individual can successfully function in their new gender role, before undergoing irreversible surgery - arguably a very laudable goal; however, this situation - living as one gender while physically the other - can be mentally harmful, as well as physically dangerous. Leading into this year, I have to realign everything in my life my legal documentation (including my legal name), my relationships, my wardrobe…everything - with this new gender.

This is a very stressful process, which is not easily reversible if I later realize that I shouldn’t transition. Let’s face it, once I let the world know I intend to transition from male to female, I can’t “un-ring that bell;” my life, all of my relationships, even my career will be permanently altered. “Take-backs” at this point are a scarier proposition than just completing the journey. Trust me…no one will forget about your decision to transition, despite all your recitations of “just kidding, guys.”

All of this is required of me, without a guarantee that at the end of the year, I will receive a letter from my therapist recommending me for surgery.

What if I move during my real life experience and can’t find a therapist who practices in the field of gender therapy in my new town? I have transfriends who regularly travel fifty to a hundred miles for routine therapist visits. Do I have to start all over again, to convince a new therapist that I’ve met the standards and I’m ready for my surgeries? How do I get my letter? Oh…and here’s another little twist, according to the standards of care, I actually need letters from TWO therapists, recommending me for surgery. I’m not sure why I need letters from two therapists, except possibly that the clinical and medical communities are concerned that one therapist may make a completely incompetent ruling on the matter, and they’re hedging their bets to avoid liability. Honestly, I don’t even understand that rationale, because by the time I’ve undergone over a year of hormone therapy AND lived as a woman for at least a year, it would seem unlikely that any single therapist could - ooops! - make a mistake in rec-

There is an estimated 50+ million Americans without health coverage

ommending me for surgery. I’d think that this would be the concern back at the initial step of beginning hormone therapy, not after the fact. Seriously, by this point - after jumping through all these hoops - shouldn’t my surgery be a forgone conclusion???

Ok, let’s say that I’ve jumped through the all the hoops; I have undergone the hormone therapy, I completed my real life experience, and I have my two letters of recommendation for surgery. Before I can have my gender reassignment surgery, I have to come up with the money for the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, and the hospital - in full, up front - before I will even be scheduled for surgery.

Insurance rarely covers these costs, which are significant by most measures. Many transgender individuals get stuck in this place - living in one gender and existing physically as the other - simply because they can’t afford the surgeries.

In all, the entire transitioning process is extremely stressful, mentally and physically taxing, and incredibly expensive. Hormones, therapist visits, doctor visits, hundreds of hours of painful and expensive cosmetic and surgical procedures…I find it incomprehensible that anyone could believe that transitioning is something that I “chose.” No one chooses this; it chooses you, and you deal with it as best as you can.

The hoops are numerous and expensive; still, I understand the need for care in making a decision that is so completely irreversible. It just seems that we could - maybe - find a way to make this a little easier, for those who have to deal with it.

Tara McKenzie Allison, Esq., is a transgender attorney, who resides and practices law in Columbus, Ohio. She has served as a Board Member and Legal Counsel to TransOhio, a nonprofit organization serving the transgender community of Ohio. She is an active speaker on transgender and legal issues, providing educational, informational, and legal services to the general public. She can be contacted by e-mail at tara_m_allison@hotmail.com.

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Pooring a good head is a technique, just like giving good head.

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Whats in the box?

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The Co-Survivors Guide to Meltdowns

by Regina Sewell Ed is driving Damien to dinner. Damien teases Ed about driving like a mad man and asks him slow down. Ed laughs. While Ed zooms around a sharp curve, Damien braces himself against the door and shouts, “Slow down! You’re gonna wreck the car.”

Ed slams on the brakes, skids to a stop and growls, “If you don’t like the way I’m driving, drive yourself.” When Damien yells back, “We’re in the middle of the road! You’re gonna get us killed,” Ed clenches his jaw, slams his fists on the steering wheel, and roars, “Shut the f up!”

Carrie is in customer service hell trying to correct a mistake on the mortgage statement. After waiting for an eternity, a customer service representative finally answers and transfers her to the wrong department.

Three wrong departments later, a surly representative hangs up on her. Frustrated, Carrie reaches out to Maria for support and to vent. Rather than giving Carrie empathy, Maria shuts her down. When Carrie persists, Maria accuses Carrie of blaming her for the mistake on the mortgage statement and storms off.

While Brad and Trey are watching a disturbing sex scene in “Edge of Seventeen,” Brad’s body goes limp. Even when Trey tries to hold Brad’s hand to comfort him, it’s as if Brad is no longer there.

While making love, Caitlyn’s body freezes.

When Stacy asks, “What’s wrong?” Caitlyn starts shaking and whispers, “I’m ok. I promise. I’m ok.”

Tracy comes home from work to a dent in the car and TJ rocking in the corner, curled up in a ball. TJ looks and sounds like a child. When Tracy approaches, TJ screams, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t hurt me.”

These examples illustrate the impact that past trauma can have on the present. If you recognize these reactions in your partner, it’s likely that a traumatic experience (or series of traumatic experiences) has led to a meltdown of their fight, flight or freeze response system.

This system is hardwired into all of us and works to ensure our survival. It’s designed to work like the Red Light, Green Light game we played as children. When the brain perceives that everything is fine, it shouts “Green Light” and we get on with whatever we’re doing.

When the brain picks up danger signals, it shouts, “Yellow Light” and sends us in to a state of vigilance. If the danger seems immioutlookcolumbus.com

nent, it shouts, “Red Light!” and our bodies go into the fight, flight or freeze response.

It’s a simple system and for frogs, reptiles and other species that live each moment on its own terms, it works well. The catch is that as our species evolved, we added layers to our brains so that we have what scientist call a triune brain consisting of the brain stem (reptilian brain), the limbic brain and the neocortex. The limbic system is in charge of survival and functions like an internal smoke detector. The right prefrontal neocortex (or right brain) processes emotions, nonverbal messages like eye contact, facial expressions, tone of voice, smell, image, gestures, and the timing and intensity of response. The left prefrontal neocortex (or left brain) is the place where we make sense out of the data that’s coming in. It’s the logical, rational, thinking part of the brain that deals with language, time and sequence, and problem solving. When all goes well, the limbic system sends its message to the right brain, which processes emotions and nonverbal messages and sends these through the corpus callosum to the left brain. The left brain processes the information through time and space and tells the body how to respond.

For example, when you hear Boy George singing, “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?” on the radio, the limbic system might send all the components of the song up to the right brain. The right brain might automatically take you back to the first time you heard the song playing on the radio, laughing with friends, cruising Sonic and dreaming of living anywhere but your home town. At least for an instant, you feel as if you’ve traveled back in time. When the left brain gets this data, it reorients you back to today, points out that the data streaming in is a memory, and reminds you that you still need to pick up tomatoes on the way home. The left brain also functions to make logical sense of the information processed by the right brain. So when the right brain says, “Whoa! There’s a bear! Yellow Light!” The left brain might process this data and say, “Oh, that’s just a poster of Smokey telling us not to start forest fires. Green Light! No need to worry.” Or, if you’re hiking on the Appalachian Trail, it might say, “Oh Shit! Red Light! Red Light!” and send a message down the neural system to fight, flight, or freeze.

Traumatic experiences throw a wrench in this system because memories don’t always get processed completely. The result is that we experience traumatic memories as if they are happening now.

It’s just like reliving all the sensory and emotional experiences that get cued up by a song on the radio, but instead of the left brain coming in and saying, “Yo! Dude! That’s a memory,” you stay in the experience and it feels like it’s happening now. Your left brain literally goes off line. The limbic brain takes over, screams “Red Light!

Red Light!” and signals the body to fight, flight or freeze.

In the examples above, Ed is going into fight mode because something in Damien’s tone of voice, body language, or emotional energy has cued up Ed’s traumatic memories from an abusive past relationship. Ed’s left brain doesn’t get the chance to tell Ed that the data he’s clued into is from the past rather than from the present.

His body is experiencing the terrifying memories of being humiliated and beaten as if this is going on in the present moment. As a result,

Freak out, ask questions later. Is not a good motto.

his blood is, metaphorically speaking, boiling, his heart is racing, and his stomach is churning. He cannot connect to the reality that Damien is a gentle loving partner who has never done anything to harm him.

Maria is responding to a similar dynamic. Her limbic brain is saying, “Stop Carrie’s anger. It’s not safe.” When that doesn’t work, her limbic brain screams, “Get away from Carrie’s anger ASAP!” Brad, Caitlyn and TJ are also responding to traumatic memories as if they are happening now, but instead of flight or flight, their brains are prompting them to freeze. Their brains have told them that it’s hopeless to fight back or run away, so they have gone into a dissociative state. Their pain thresholds have increased and they are immobilized.

It’s important to understand that your partner has no choice about whether or not he or she will go into fight, flight or freeze mode once the limbic system has wrested control from their left brain. At the same time, the fact that your partner is reacting, at least in part, to a past experience does not absolve you of responsibility for your words and actions in the present. When your partner has a meltdown, the best thing you can do is stay calm. If you yell at your partner to get them to stop fighting or try to keep them from leaving (physically or emotionally) they will get more triggered. So, instead of focusing your energy on “fixing” them, focus on taking care of yourself. One way to stay calm is to tune into your body. Feel your feet on the floor. Notice whether your thighs feel comfortable or if they feel tired, uncomfortable or tight. Check in with your belly. Is it relaxed and soft, or are you crunching it in? Bring your awareness to your shoulders. Are your shoulders loose and relaxed or are you scrunching them up towards your ears? Watch your breathing. Are you taking in nice deep breaths or are you barely breathing? Once you have scanned your entire body, take in a deep breath and release any tension as you breathe out. Repeat this two more times.

It’s also important to understand that the fact that your partner’s emergency response system has gone offline does not give him or her a free pass to hurt or abuse you. Even if they can’t control the fact that they are reacting in the short run, working through their issues with a counselor, and practicing meditation, yoga, and/or tai chi can help them rewire their brains so that they are less likely to get lost in the past and help them come back to center more quickly when they do get triggered*.

In the long run, it’s probably a good idea for you to see a counselor yourself. You need to process through your responses to your partner’s reactions. It would also probably be helpful to see a couples’ counselor to work through your relationship dynamics so that both of you are working for the relationship instead of against each other. *Peter Levine describes an alternative recovery process in Waking the Tiger.

Regina Sewell is a mental health counselor. To ask a question, propose a column topic, read about her approach to counseling, or check out her books and other writing, go to: www.ReginaSewell.com. Her most recent publication, “Sliding Away” can be found in Knowing Pains: Women on Love, Sex and Work in Our 40s, edited by Molly Rosen.

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LOOK HOMEWARD, LESBIAN

by Leslie Robinson

of coping with a budding teenager.

It was a North Carolina author, Thomas Wolfe, who wrote You Can’t Go Home Again. My partner Anne decided to ignore him and go home to North Carolina anyway.

Anne’s mom liked to hand out religious tracts, and in one box, along with myriad tracts on accepting Jesus as your personal savior, sat copies of “The Gay Blade.” An image of a man with not one but two limp wrists graced the cover.

I decided to go along to help her clean out the family home in Rutherfordton. Over four grueling days we lifted and sorted an incredible number of boxes. By the end of all that heavy lifting, I’d mentally changed Wolfe’s title to You Can’t Stand Straight Again.

Published in 1972, this tract proclaimed, “Out of Satan’s shadowy world of homosexuality, in a display of defiance against society, they come forth.”

In those boxes we found symbols of the tension between Anne’s lesbianism and her mother’s religiosity. And when Anne and I went into town we discovered another tension, between how we live in Seattle and how we felt we had to behave in a small Carolina town.

There was a third tension regarding the nutritional value of fried okra, but I’ll confine myself to the gay bits.

When Anne was 14, her mother became a fundamentalist Christian. That’s one way

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Sounds like a zombie movie.

“Their power structure is widespread they occupy all kinds of jobs.” Some are “even hinted to be in high government positions.”

Yup, we snuck in right under the nose of FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover . . . oh . . . wait . . .

Most of the tract’s pages were devoted to a vivid rendering of the Sodom story, suitable in any decade for putting the fear of God in someone.

Anne’s mom handed out anti-gay tracts at the same time her daughter was feeling lesbian stirrings. No wonder it took Anne a bunch more years and a run at Christian education before she became the openly gay woman of her mother’s nightmares.

Speaking of Christian education, we also uncovered one of Anne’s grade reports from Moody Bible Institute. Perhaps her mom kept it because she was proud of Anne’s good grades. Or maybe she kept it, Anne theorizes, as proof that her daughter once had fine Christian intentions.

Anne’s mother is still living, still handing out tracts to strangers. When we visited her in South Carolina on this trip, I wanted to ask if her stock included antigay treatises. I refrained. I don’t want my picture on the next round of tracts.

During The Great Purge, Anne and I occasionally got away from the house and headed to Main Street. There in the town where she was born, where everybody still knows her family, she found herself reluctant to touch me on the street or in a restaurant. A natural toucher restrained.

You can only go home three times… four times… Aw, screw it.

I felt the same. In that area of the country, where you can’t throw a hush puppy without hitting a church, and where I twice heard white people refer to someone as being black “but good,” discretion felt nearly necessary. A new feeling for me, and I liked it as much as barbecue sauce on a MoonPie. When we entered the antiques store, we found Anne’s childhood playmate working there. I heard Anne pause before introducing me as her partner. That was not the pause that refreshes.

The next day Anne saw her again, and the woman said she was sorry she couldn’t say goodbye to me as well.

You just never know what you’ll find when you go home again. In an old box or in people.

Owing to all those boxes, Leslie Robinson needs a chiropractor something fierce. E-mail Leslie at lesarobinson@gmail.com, and visit her blog at www.generalgayety.com.

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GOHI Historical Profile Calendar of Events • About Town Event Listings

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I spy with my little eye something fat... oh it’s Sherri Dribblelipz, the poster child for Get Fit Columbus.

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26 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

KWANZAA

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 4:00 PM Manheim Steamroller Christ! mas @ The Palace Theatre 4:00 PM TEADA - Irish Christmas in 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 9:00 PM Mary Ann Brandt XMas Show 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

19

11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 2:00 PM Project Trio @ BOMA 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

12

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 12:00 PM Holiday Extravaganza @ 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Dave Koz Smooth Jazz Xmas 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

HaHanukkah

5

28 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

Sunday

Bars-Clubs

Pride Holiday Events

Networking

Special Events

US Holidays

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… Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Monday Night Football @ Score 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

27

… Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Monday Night Football @ Score 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

20

… Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 7:30 PM Broadway Xmas Carol 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Monday Night Football @ 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

13

and 3 more…

12:00 AM Six Solos @ Wexner center … Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Monday Night Football @

6

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Monday Night Football @ Score 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

Monday

December 2010

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9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Glee & Family Fued @ Score 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

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9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Glee & Family Fued @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

21

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 12:00 PM Arab Voices: What They Are Saying to Us and Why 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Glee & Family Fued @ Score 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

14

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Glee & Family Fued @ Score 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

7

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Glee & Family Fued @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

Tuesday

1

… Glee & Family Fued @ Score 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:30 PM Coulin Mouton @ Funnybone 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

29

… Glee & Family Fued @ Score 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

22

… Glee & Family Fued @ Score 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 6:00 PM Pictures with Santa @ Exile 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

15

and 2 more…

9:00 AM BNI Group One-to-Ones @ … Glee & Family Fued @ Score 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" 6:00 PM Network Columbus @ 65 E 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U

8

and 4 more…

… Glee & Family Fued @ Score 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" 5:30 PM Holiday Festival & Open 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U

A Reason To Dine

World AIDS Day

HaHanukkah

Wednesday

5

6

3

4

5

6

7

F

S 8

1

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 7:30 PM Holiday Hoopla @ Shadowbox 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ Club D 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

30

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ Club D 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score

23

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 7:00 PM Gentlemen Prefer Blondes @ Wexner Center for the Arts 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ 10:00 PM Sweatin @ Axis 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

16

and 2 more…

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ 10:00 PM Holiday Show @ Level 10:00 PM Stocking Stu"ers Drag Show

9

2

10

31

24

… Karaoke @ Score 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 5:00 PM First Night Columbus @ 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Champagne Toast @ Level 9:00 PM When the Ball Drops @ Wall St 9:00 PM NYE Exile Style @ Exile 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

New Year's Day (observed)

… Karaoke @ Score 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

Christmas (observed)

… Karaoke @ Score 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Fierce Tease @ Axis

17

… Karaoke @ Score 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:30 PM The Nutcracker @ The Ohio Theater 8:00 PM Nina & Viginia's Holiday Spe! cial @ Axis 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 8:30 PM Happy Hour & Open Mic 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

TRON: Legacy

3

and 2 more…

… Karaoke @ Score 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 8:00 PM Nutcrackers Musical @ Axis 8:00 PM Holiday Pops @ Ohio Theater 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Joy! Our Holiday Tradition 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D

Friday

4

Page 1/1

8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level

New Year's Day

1

25 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level

Christmas

12:00 PM ShoNo Holiday Shop 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:00 PM Gospel According to Swing 9:00 PM Adventures in Leather @ Exile 9:00 PM Mary Ann Brandt XMas Show 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis

18

… Happy Hour & Open Mic 7:00 PM Conam's Annual Xmas Spec! tacular 8:00 PM Nina & Viginia's Holiday Spe! cial @ Axis 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 9:00 PM Mary Ann Brandt XMas Show 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St

11

8:00 AM Holiday Extravaganza @ North Market 11:00 AM Holiday Hop! 8:00 PM Nutcrackers Musical @ Axis 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level

Saturday

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4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 6:30 PM Cheesecake Boys @Luxbo!

8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

Thursday

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26 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

KWANZAA

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 4:00 PM Manheim Steamroller Christ! mas @ The Palace Theatre 4:00 PM TEADA - Irish Christmas in 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 9:00 PM Mary Ann Brandt XMas Show 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

19

11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 2:00 PM Project Trio @ BOMA 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

12

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 12:00 PM Holiday Extravaganza @ 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Dave Koz Smooth Jazz Xmas 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

HaHanukkah

5

28 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 9:30 PM Strippers @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

Sunday

Bars-Clubs

Pride Holiday Events

Networking

Special Events

US Holidays

29

… Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Monday Night Football @ Score 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

27

… Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Monday Night Football @ Score 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

20

… Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 7:30 PM Broadway Xmas Carol 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Monday Night Football @ 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

13

and 3 more…

12:00 AM Six Solos @ Wexner center … Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Monday Night Football @

6

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM $2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Monday Night Football @ Score 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

Monday

December 2010

28-29 calendar inside_Calendar 11/22/10 8:21 PM Page 1

30

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Glee & Family Fued @ Score 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

28

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Glee & Family Fued @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

21

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 12:00 PM Arab Voices: What They Are Saying to Us and Why 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Glee & Family Fued @ Score 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

14

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Glee & Family Fued @ Score 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

7

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Glee & Family Fued @ Score 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

Tuesday

1

… Glee & Family Fued @ Score 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:30 PM Coulin Mouton @ Funnybone 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

29

… Glee & Family Fued @ Score 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

22

… Glee & Family Fued @ Score 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 6:00 PM Pictures with Santa @ Exile 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

15

and 2 more…

9:00 AM BNI Group One-to-Ones @ … Glee & Family Fued @ Score 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" 6:00 PM Network Columbus @ 65 E 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U

8

and 4 more…

… Glee & Family Fued @ Score 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" 5:30 PM Holiday Festival & Open 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U

A Reason To Dine

World AIDS Day

HaHanukkah

Wednesday

5

6

3

4

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6

7

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S 8

1

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 7:30 PM Holiday Hoopla @ Shadowbox 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ Club D 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

30

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ Club D 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score

23

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 7:00 PM Gentlemen Prefer Blondes @ Wexner Center for the Arts 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ 10:00 PM Sweatin @ Axis 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

16

and 2 more…

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ 10:00 PM Holiday Show @ Level 10:00 PM Stocking Stu"ers Drag Show

9

2

10

31

24

… Karaoke @ Score 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 5:00 PM First Night Columbus @ 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Champagne Toast @ Level 9:00 PM When the Ball Drops @ Wall St 9:00 PM NYE Exile Style @ Exile 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

New Year's Day (observed)

… Karaoke @ Score 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

Christmas (observed)

… Karaoke @ Score 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Fierce Tease @ Axis

17

… Karaoke @ Score 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:30 PM The Nutcracker @ The Ohio Theater 8:00 PM Nina & Viginia's Holiday Spe! cial @ Axis 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 8:30 PM Happy Hour & Open Mic 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

TRON: Legacy

3

and 2 more…

… Karaoke @ Score 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 8:00 PM Nutcrackers Musical @ Axis 8:00 PM Holiday Pops @ Ohio Theater 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Joy! Our Holiday Tradition 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D

Friday

4

Page 1/1

8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level

New Year's Day

1

25 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level

Christmas

12:00 PM ShoNo Holiday Shop 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:00 PM Gospel According to Swing 9:00 PM Adventures in Leather @ Exile 9:00 PM Mary Ann Brandt XMas Show 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis

18

… Happy Hour & Open Mic 7:00 PM Conam's Annual Xmas Spec! tacular 8:00 PM Nina & Viginia's Holiday Spe! cial @ Axis 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 9:00 PM Mary Ann Brandt XMas Show 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St

11

8:00 AM Holiday Extravaganza @ North Market 11:00 AM Holiday Hop! 8:00 PM Nutcrackers Musical @ Axis 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level

Saturday

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4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 6:30 PM Cheesecake Boys @Luxbo!

8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ 10:00 PM Karaoke @ Score 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

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49 dec 2010 I spy with my little eye something fat... oh it’s Sherri Dribblelipz, the poster child for Get Fit Columbus.

GOHI Historical Profile Calendar of Events • About Town Event Listings (formally BoMA), 583 E Broad St, 614.233.3000, www.liveatthebluestone.com: What other chamber music trio can claim they have a beatbox flutist? I think I’ve sold you. 2p; $10-$25.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31 HELLO, 2011 New Year’s Eve @ Everywhere: My New Year’s resolution? It’s now been a hundred years since the Mona Lisa was last stolen...

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 30 COMIN’ DOWN THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT… Holiday Hoopla XIX @ Shadowbox, Easton Towne Center, 614.416.7625, www.shadowboxlive.org: This is closing night for Shadowbox – but don’t worry!

The show runs all month! You’re reading Outlook now, but I bet it’s not even Christmas yet. You still have plenty of chances to catch The Santa Babies, BillWho?, and all of their friends at Shadowbox.

7:30p; $30.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 29 A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO 2011 Collin Moulton @ The Funny Bone, 145 Easton Town Center, www.columbusfunnybone.com: Collin Moulton is an up-and-coming star, with a forthcoming Showtime comedy special and he was named Best in Fest at the Montreal Comedy Festival (though what Canadians know about comedy, I’ll never understand - The Red Green Show? Really, Canada?). 7:30p; $10.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 28 FREE BIRD! Glee @ Union Café, 782 N Hight St, www.columbusnightlife.com: How do you make Glee even more gay? Watch it in a gay bar. Really, at this point, it goes full circle and becomes straight again. 8p; free.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 27 SINTAX Service Industry Night @ Exile, 893 N 4th, www.exilebar.com: $2 Beer of the month until 9p, $2.50 after. All day; free.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 26 ROLL OUT OF BED AND… Kwanzaa @ Everywhere: You just can’t catch a break. The holidays just come one after another now – like the circle jerk boys. Well don’t worry. At least this one isn’t as long as Hanukkah.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 25 HE KNOWS WHEN YOU’VE BEEN NAUGHTY… Christmas @ Everywhere: But so does everyone else. I mean, you’ve been broadcasting it on webcam.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17 ing that book you’ve been meanHOLY SHIT, BATMAN ing to get to. Get laid for chrisTRON: Legacy @ A Movie Theater sakes.

Near You: This is the best effing Christmas ever.

Karaoke @ Cavan’s Irish Pub, 1409 S High St, www.cavanirishpub.com: At least go with something vaguely Irish. It’s only fitting. Say... The Pogues? 10p; free.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 13 FESTIVELY FESTIVE A Broadway Christmas Carol @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, www.clubdiversity.com: The Drawing Room Theatre presents “A Broadway Christmas Carol” for one last time this season.

Though it’s Bitchy Mondays at Club D, don’t bitch about it - just come see it. 7:30p; $15.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 24 THE REAL HOLIDAY Christmas Eve @ Everywhere: All the formal family shit happens tomorrow. Today? Open some presents. Spend some time read-

ISN’T HANUKKAH OVER? Hanukkah, The Christmas Musical @ MadLab, 105 N Grant, 614.221.5418, www.madlab.net: While not presented by Madlab, this show is at Madlab. And you also have to buy tickets through them. Maddening? It’s only fitting. This is closing weekend for the show, but Hanukkah runs Fridays and Saturdays, December 2 through 18. 8p; $10.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 8 HOLIDAY HOBNOBBING Network Columbus @ Stateroom of the commercial corridor, 65 E State St, www.networkcolumbus.com: Hosted by Kegler Brown. Goodies and grab bags galore (and I’m not just talking about the Outlook interns). Come and do the usual socializing, but now with more free stuff. 6p; free.

FEEDIN’ AND BREEDIN’ AND PUMPIN’ SOME GAS Sweatin’ @ Axis, 775 N High St, www.columbusnightlife.com: Everyone’s favorite gay indietechno dance party. Need I say more?

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 9 NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING, NOT EVEN CHAD FRYE Holiday Show @ Level Dining Lounge, 700 N High St, 614.754.1342, www.levelcolumbus.com: All of your favorite Queens under one roof. What could possibly go wrong? Sherri Dribblelipz, Ashley O’Shea, Noka Davers, Sharon Love, Phonda Cox and AO Cross will tickle your balls off. 10p; free.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 10 AS A KID, I LOVED THIS. NOW, THE NAME MAKES ME GIGGLE The Nutcracker @ The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: Who can resist a date to a show with the same name as the sexual position you’re going to use on him later?

Through Dec 26. 7:30p; $20 $69.

MAKING TRAXX Happy Hour and Open Mic @ Traxx Columbus, 95 Liberty St, www.traxxcolumbus.webs.com: Check out this new bar, the first for Columbus’s African American LGBT population. First is happy hour and open mic – so bring your music, spoken word, art and anything else you’ve got. Every Friday. 8:30p (25 and up), 10:30p (18 and up); COVER. SATURDAY, DECEMBER 11 IT’S THE MOST JEWISH CHRISTMAS EVER! Conam’s Annual Xmas Spectacular @ Verne Riffe Center’s Studio Two Theatre, 77 S High St, 614.469.1045, www.capa.com: Available Light’s Christmas show gets a little more Hebrew than the rest. It’s like a secular love fest, but with a lot of religious jokes.

December 8 through December 12. 7p; Pay what you can.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 12 THEY’RE FAMOUS ON THE INTERNET PROJECT Trio @ The Bluestone

30-27 calendar outside_Calendar 11/29/10 10:06 AM Page 1

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 7 JUST DON’T SING ANYTHING JOLLY

MONDAY, DECEMBER 6 SADLY, THEY DON’T MEAN MASTURBATION Six Solos @ The Wexner Center, 1871 N High St, www.wexarts.org: An exhibition by six diferent up and coming young artists. The displays inside and outside of The Wex are in celebration of its 21st anniversary. What better way to celebrate then by doing what they do best, but in large quantities?

Exhibition runs through February 13. $5.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 1 AKA CREEPY MALL SANTAS GET CHECKED Holiday Pops @ The Ohio TheWorld AIDS Day @ Everywhere: ater, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, No really, stop putting it off. www.capa.com: The Columbus Someone will thank you. Colum- Symphony presents their holiday bus AIDS Task Force also runs A concert. All the pops you love, and Reason to Dine today, so go out few you’re on so-so terms with. and eat at selected restaurants to Through December 5. 3p and 8p; have those proceeds go back into $18 - $64. fighting HIV/AIDS. SATURDAY, DECEMBER 4 JAZZ HANDS! EVERYONE WANTS TO BE AN ARSONIST Home for the Holidays @ The Matchgirl @ Otterbein’s Fritsche Southern Theatre, 21 E Main St, Theatre, www.coldancetheatre.org: 614.340.1896, www.capa.com: Another holiday-related arts The Jazz Arts Group presents a event. But this time, with fire. 8p; line up of jazzy holiday music, $12 - $28. featuring Carmen Bradford.

Through 12/5. 8p; $41 - $49.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP! Holiday Hop @ The Short North: ANOTHER JOINING OF SECULAR & STATE Hate the crowd in the malls? Then Holiday Festival and Open House join the crowd in the streets for @ The Ohio Statehouse, 1 Capitol some unique shopping! Forget Square, www.ohiostatehouse.org: the toaster that burns the symbol An evening of family friendly holi- of the Dallas Cowboys into bread day activities and music. And of - try some plaid fashion instead. course, Santa. 5:30p – 7:30p; 11a - 11p; free. free.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 5 THURSDAY, DECEMBER 2 IS LOCAL THE OPPOSITE OF TRADITIONAL? I’D LIKE TO LICK UP THAT CHEESECAKE Holiday Extravaganza @ North Cheesecake Boys @ Luxboheme Market, 59 Spruce St, Showroom, 232 N Third St, #103 614.463.9664, www.northmar(Hickory Entrance), www.colum- ket.com: Come for the food, stay busisgreat.com: A celebration of for the crafts! Or vice versa! Or male pin-up art, including the ac- get your locally grown trees here. tual Cheesecake Boys models!

Really, the whole thing is just 6:30p – 9p; $15. going to be amazing. Plus, they have Jeni’s – the only ice cream “HO HO HO” DOES NOT COUNT AS you’ll eat in the snow and love.

“TALKING PRETTY” Dec 4 & 5; free.

The Santaland Diaries @ Verne Riffe Center’s Studio Three TheKOZ I TOLD YOU TO! atre, 77 S High St, 614.469.1045, The Dave Koz & Friends 2010 www.capa.com: Follow David Smooth Jazz Christmas Tour @ Sedaris’s adventures as a holiday Palace Theatre, 34 W Broad St, elf, as staged by CatCo. That’s 614.469.00939, www.ticketmaslike three layers of festive. ter.com: The tour will be extraThrough 12/26. 8p; $32. special this year as South African singer/guitarist Jonathan Butler, keyboardist Brian Culbertson, and Dutch saxophone star Candy Dulfer join the multi-Grammy® nominee, saxophonist homo extraordinaire in celebrating the joys of the season. 7p; $27.50$62.50.

OH RIGHT, FUNDRAISERS TRANSIT ARTS Open House @ Central Community House, 1150 E Main St, www.transitarts.com: Come prepared to shop (for a cause). All proceeds go to help renovate the new TRANSIT ARTS studios on Bryden. 6p - 8p; free.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3 USE THOSE THROATS, BOYS Joy! Our Holiday Tradition @ King Avenue United Methodist Church, 299 King Ave, www.cgmc.com: The Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus gets in on the holiday action (and what gay man wouldn’t!). Attendees to the Saturday matinee may bring a new toy donation instead of the admission fee. Additional performances on December 4 and 11 (at different locations). 8p; $15.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 14 SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18 USUALLY, THEY SAY DIRTY THINGS TO ME MY FAVORITE HOLY BOOK Arab Voices: What They Are Say- The Gospel According To Swing ing To Us, and Why It Matters @ @ Lincoln Theatre, 769 E Long St, The Columbus Foundation, 1234 www.jazzartsgroup.org: The Jazz E Broad St, www.columbusOrchestra tackles a gospel theme worldaffairs.org: Dr. James Zogby for their Inside Track series. This is a Political Consultant and show features the voice of Nia Founder and President of the Allen and keyboardist Bobby Washington, DC-based Arab Floyd. 8p; $25 - $30.

American Institute. He writes a weekly column on US politics for SUNDAY, DECEMBER 19 the major Arab world newspapers AS LONG AS THERE’S NO POLITICAL UNand hosts a weekly, award winREST ning call-in discussion program Teada – Irish Christmas in on Abu Dhabi television. 11:30a America @ Lincoln Theater, 769 (lunch), 12p (program); $30 (non- E Long St, www.citymusiccolummembers), $5 (lecture only). bus.com: Returning for their second year, City Music brings Teada WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 15 back for their Christmas show.

AS ALLITERATIVE AS TACO TUESDAY, BUT It’s like the halfway to Irish FestiMORE SOPHISTICATED val event. 4p; $25.

Wine Wednesdays @ Level Dining Lounge: 50% off all bottles.

EVERYONE CAN PLAY THESE SONGS BY It’s the classiest way to not look HEART ON AIR-GUITAR classy at all. All day; free.

Mannheim Steamroller: Christmas @ The Palace Theatre, 34 W COME SIT IN POPPA’S LAP Broad St, 614.469.9850, Pictures with Santa @ Exile, 893 www.capa.com: A little more new N 4th, www.exilebar.com: Get a age-y than Trans-Siberian Orpicture with this hairy, bear-y chestra, but just as catchy. 4p; Santa. Also, bring some food for $35 - $85. the food drive. It’s sexy AND for a good cause - A Sexy Cause! 6p; MONDAY, DECEMBER 20 free.

IN CELEBRATION OF TRON...?

Futuristic Karaoke @ AWOL, 49 THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16 Parsons Ave, www.awolbar.com: AND OTHERS PREFER POMPADOURS Don’t know what this means, but Gentlemen Prefer Blondes I have to check it out. 10p; free.

(1953) @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, TUESDAY, DECEMBER 21 www.wexarts.org: A new restora- DON’T BE ALONE FOR CHRISTMAS tion of the Howard Hawks classic. Cheap Date Night @ Slammers, Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell 202 E Long St, www.slammersprowl a cruise ship as gold digbar.moonfruit.com: 4 Domestics gers (or are they?). 7p; $5. and an 11 inch (ouch!) one topping pizza for $14. Boom, laid. All day; free.

• • • • • • • • • • • about town • • • • • • • • • • •

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Boobies

by Phillecia Cochran

With gay issues, it seems that lately the media is focusing on the state of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” but with the recent barrage of youth suicides in the LGBT community, that seems to be changing a bit with growing concerns of anti-gay bullying. With this increased awareness comes a light being shed on LGBT health issues, both mental and physical.

LGBT kids are four times as likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers - a number that is even higher if they come from a rejecting family. Gay men are a high-risk group for HIV/AIDS. Those that are LGBT are 40-70% more likely to smoke than non-LGBT. The list can go on and on.

One health concern, however, doesn’t typically come to the forefront of gay health and is often forgotten, even within the LGBT community: lesbians and breast cancer.

According to the Gay & Lesbian Medical Association, lesbians have the highest concentration of risk factors for breast cancer than any subset of women in the world.

The two largest risk factors for breast cancer are being a woman and getting older. Furthermore, women whose female relatives have had breast cancer are automatically at a higher risk. Being overweight and drinking alcohol also increases the chances of developing this type of cancer.

So how is it that lesbians in particular are a high-risk group rather than all women? Women who do not bear children are at a higher risk. While some lesbian and bisexual women do bear outlookcolumbus.com

children, they are less likely to than their straight peers. Simultaneously, women who do not breast feed increase their chances of developing breast cancer. Lesbian and bisexual women are less likely to use an oral contraceptive, which is another way to increase risk.

It seems too that breast cancer deeply affects lesbians and bisexual women not just because of physical health. Research has shown that this specific risk group gets less routine care than other women, which includes regular screenings for breast and cervical cancer.

Lesbians, and many people in the LGBT community, have low rates of health insurance, as many policies do not cover unmarried partners. Many women also do not tell their doctors of their orientation fearing it will affect the quality of care they receive.

On that same note, those who have had negative experiences with health care providers often delay or avoid medical care altogether.

With all of this in mind it is important to know that early detection is key, no matter what your sexual orientation. The American Cancer Society (ACS) recommends that women over the age of 40 have a mammogram (breast exam) annually and continue to do so for as long as possible. ACS also suggests that women in their 20s and 30s have a clinical breast exam as part of a regular check-up every three years. Some women who may be deemed high risk because of family history, genetic tendency and other factors should be screened with an MRI in addition to a mammogram every year (though they caution that this applies to less than 2% of all women in the U.S.).

I found this article very tit-illating

Early detection, however, is not just up to your medical provider.

A breast self-exam (BSE) should be done and can be extremely beneficial to those LGBT people who are hesitant about their current or lacking health care provider. It is recommended that anyone in their 20s should begin doing a regular BSE. A comprehensive look at how to perform a BSE can be found on the American Cancer Society’s website (www.cancer.org).

Whether or not you are one of the 50 million Americans without insurance, there are resources available to you.

Studies have shown that a lack of comprehensive insurance as well as negative experiences with health care providers may be contributing factors to the lack of medical attention sought by lesbian and bisexual women. As a result, the Gay & Lesbian Medical Association has a database that users can search of LGBT-friendly providers. This database can also be searched according to the specialty of the doctor as well as insurance providers they accept.

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) puts together a yearly Healthcare Equality Index. The 2010 Index rated 178 healthcare facilities on their policies related to LGBT healthcare equality.

The HRC has also put pressure on facilities to strengthen or add LGBT-inclusive non-discrimination policies. The Healthcare Equality Index 2010 is available on their website at www.hrc.org.

For Columbus-area residents, Stonewall Columbus (www.stonewallcolumbus.org), can be a great resource for finding information and LGBT-friendly health care providers through their Lavender Listings. dec 2010

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T-Cell Discovery opens new doors in AIDS Research Researchers at Oregon State University (OSU) and the California Institute of Technology (CIT) have discovered that a genetic regulator, which is critical to many life functions, also plays a key role in the formation of “T cells” – a type of white blood cell that’s important in immune function.

Mark Leid, a professor and assistant dean in the OSU College of Pharmacy. “Ctip2 is not expressed in every cell, but plays essential roles in several different organs. The new finding about its relationship to early events in T cell formation may be of substantial interest to immunologists and clinicians alike.”

The discovery suggests that some types of immune function might be influenced by manipulation of this genetic regulator.

This could be a target for drug development, and could open the door to new immune system-based therapies for everything from diseases of T cells, such as HIV/AIDS, to autoimmune disorders and allergies. Other aspects of the research could be of interest to scientists trying to re-program cells to perform different functions, which is the basis of stem cell research.

T cells are important players in what’s called the “adaptive” immune system, or the ability of an organism to mount an attack against a new invader, fight it off and then provide full or partial immunity to it in the future.

The genetic regulator, or transcription factor, is called Ctip2, and it’s also known as Bcl11b. It’s a protein that controls gene “expression,” or what aspects of a cell’s genetic code will be turned on and which will be left silent. Discovered at OSU in 2000, Ctip2 has in recent years been found to be a master regulator of gene expression, controlling tissue formation in organs as diverse as tooth enamel, brain cells, skin, and T cells.

“Ctip2 is so important to various life functions that laboratory mice lacking this gene die within a few hours after birth,” said

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Ctip2 helps regulate the complicated process that ends up creating T cells. Depending on the stage of development when it’s knocked out, this can result either in T cells not being formed, or different kinds of cells being formed – something that would be of significant interest to researchers who are trying to re-program cells to perform different functions.

Part of what’s remarkable about Ctip2, researchers say, is the range of seemingly separate yet critical functions it performs.

Ctip2 is essential in the creation of teeth, the formation of skin, and T cells. In all of these cells and tissues, Ctip2 is involved in differentiation of one cell type into another, more mature cell. OSU researchers have also found that the amount of Ctip2 expressed by certain cancer cells is correlated with the aggressiveness of tu-

The T-cell is the one that looks like a hairy meatball

mors, which may be helpful for diagnostic purposes.

Every cell in the human body, and that of plants and other animals, contains the entire “genome,” or genetic blueprint of life of the particular organism. Research on genetic regulators has been of increasing interest in recent years because these proteins hold the key to which genes are expressed, instructing one cell to become a brain cell while another is directed to become a blood cell.

“I’ve always been in awe of how transcription factors direct complicated events, such as development, in which mammals progress from a single, fertilized cell into a complex, three-dimensional organism in a relatively short period of time,” Leid said.

“It’s just a beautifully choreographed dance, and timing is everytthing.”

Ctip2 seems to be a very top-level regulator of development and differentiation in many different cell types, Leid said. It should be possible to develop drugs that decrease, increase or otherwise modify Ctip2 activity, and such drugs may be useful in the treatment of certain malignancies, such as leukemia, and skin cancers, he said.

This research was supported by the National Institutes of Health and other agencies.

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That dragon got all his rings at Alexanders Jewelers. Dragons are so stylish.

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My what a big phone number you have.

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DIFFERING VIEWPOINTS: HIV/AIDS AMONGST THE DIVIDE

by Shaun Whybark “My husband didn’t ask to give me HIV, he just did.” That is what I was told while out visiting with friends at a local establishment a few weeks ago. I’m Shaun Whybark and my job is HIV prevention and testing for the MSM (men who have sex with men) community in Central Ohio and I didn’t have a response to that statement.

What do you say to that? The only thing I could say to console him was “I am sorry.”

That is the truest statement I can think of. I am sorry. I am sorry you were not given the opportunity to make a decision to keep yourself HIV negative. I am sorry a choice was taken away from you by someone you loved. And lastly, I am sorry our own community has become so segmented and lazy that we put priorities such as getting our dick sucked or finding the next best, youngest, hottest, so on and so forth, before our health. We let our principles of humanity towards ourselves and each other be pushed to a place where it’s no longer seen or heard.

We all have different views and values, and yet as a community, we are able to band together on issues concerning rights and privileges on a moment’s notice, but we ignore the issue that is STILL killing us. Think about it. How would your rights and privileges change if you became HIV+ in our community today? The answer isn’t simple, it’s complicated. Your rights wouldn’t change, but your privileges would.

People in the gay community don’t want to talk about HIV. It’s still outlookcolumbus.com

too personal of an issue for us to think about, let alone talk about.

The general assumption is that being infected with HIV can’t happen to you. I’ve heard it TIME and TIME again. So, let’s all just ignore it… and those with it… it will go away… won’t it? Here is an eye-opener for you: ITS NOT and IT CAN HAPPEN. Would you sleep with someone you knew was HIV+? If not, why do you think it would be any different if you were?

choose to have my partner wear a condom every time, and to educate myself and my friends on how to stay safe. If everyone would take HIV/AIDS prevention personally and realize when they are putting themselves at risk, we wouldn’t see the infection rates rising. I believe sex is something we shouldn’t be afraid to talk about, especially when our future is at stake.”

Within the MSM Prevention area, I have two Outreach Assistants; Chris Chaffin and Dwayne Davis. Chris is a freshman at OSU and he comes to Columbus from Idaho. He is someone who cares about himself and our community; a seemingly rare trait displayed by someone who is young and gay. Dwayne comes to us from the Toledo area. He is an African American who is concerned about his community because it isn’t only happening in the gay community, it’s happening in the black community as well. You’ve just read my viewpoint on HIV/AIDS, below is theirs.

Dwayne: “Lack of communication within my community is something that I’m use to, being African American. As a race, we do not always strive to get information out to our own people. However, when tragedy strikes, we try to band together and take care of the situation. If this is true, why haven’t we, as a community, spoken out against HIV/AIDS? The answer is simple. It’s out of fear. That fear makes us walk around, speaking silence, about a topic that needs to be exposed, educated and prevented. Not speaking out is just as bad as spreading the sickness to others through lack of education or just plain unsafe habits.”

Chris: “It’s so refreshing to see someone your age who is interested in HIV/AIDS Prevention,” since the beginning of my employment at the Columbus AIDS Task Force, I cannot count the number of times I have heard some variation of that statement. To me, it’s not refreshing, it’s frightening. Not frightening that I am interested in HIV prevention, but frightening that most others my age are not! Between 2004 and 2008 the only age group with a steady increase of NEW infections has been my age group (13-24). Being young and being aware should not be exclusive. My entire life is in front of me, why wouldn’t I want to be as careful as I can? I can’t control if I am going to get pneumonia or influenza, but I can Get tested! Know your status!

We all have different paths in life to take. We choose to either create the environment or we choose to succumb to the environment.

Choose today to create a better environment for OUR community.

CATF cannot stop the spread of HIV. YOU stop the spread of HIV by opening your mind, showing respect for people who are different, and most of all, showing love for yourself. If he doesn’t want to use a condom and you do, tell him to go fuck himself, literally.

Shaun Whybark is the MSM HIV Prevention Coordinator for the Columbus AIDS Task Force. For more info got to www.catf.net or call 614.299.2437.

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That guy must be running windows xp.

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Pelotonia 2010 by: William Ashley I made the decision to participate in Pelotonia the same way I make every decision in my life for my own personal gain and benefit. For some odd reason, I remember the scenario very clearly.

It was a sticky summer morning in my office, and my co-workers surrounded me as our supervisor presented us with a plethora of information about Pelotonia. For the second year, The Ohio State University’s James Cancer Hospital was holding a grassroots bike tour with one goal: to end cancer. Pelotonia recruits thousands of people, who each raise anywhere from $1000-$2100 and beyond to ride their bikes through a tiered course (which ran from 23 miles to 180 miles) during a weekend in August.

Because Pelotonia was able to underwrite all operational costs through corporate and personal sponsorships, every single penny raised by the thousands of riders went directly to cancerresearch efforts at The James. Sounds great, right?

Of course it sounded great. Everyone in the office was oohing and aahing at the magnitude of the results from the inaugural Pelotonia the year before: The tour, led by legendary cyclist and health advocate Lance Armstrong, raised over $4.5 million dollars that were sent directly to doctors and programs looking for the cure to one of the world’s deadliest diseases. However, it still wasn’t enough information or motivation for me to join the fight. There was no personal connection for me. Listening to the testimonials of previous Pelotonia riders during that meeting in

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the office was like reading a laundry list of cancer survivors or victims in the participants’ lives.

I was, of course, completely sympathetic to them and their personal stories. However (knock on wood and everything holy on this planet), I haven’t been personally touched by cancer in my immediate circle of family and friends. A lack of motivation doesn’t exactly help me make the decision to get up at the ass crack of dawn on a Saturday and ride my bike for at least 23 miles with a few of my co-workers.

Finally, the presentation was over. My boss asked us all to think about joining her on the bike trail in support of the office and Ohio State’s mission to annihilate cancer. Before returning to my office, I quickly chatted with a few co-workers to gauge their interest in the race and was soon able to paint an accurate picture of the outcome. More likely than not, my boss was going to be riding alone at Pelotonia 2010.

At soon as I sat down at my desk, I knew what I had to do. Before thinking through any of the consequences or logistics of the commitment, I shot my boss a rapid e-mail of confirmation.

“I’m in,“ I wrote to her.

Did the statistics finally draw me in? Perhaps it was the fact that America sees 1.4 million new cases of cancer each year. Or, maybe what struck me was that cancer accounts for 560,000 deaths a year in this country.

Nope. I volunteered because no one else would,

and it might make me look better than my coworkers. As a relatively new employee in the office, I figured it was my shot to demonstrate my commitment to over-achievement.

As I had hoped, my boss quickly sent an internal e-mail to the organization praising my decision to ride with her in Pelotonia 2010 and to support us both by joining the race or donating to our fundraising accounts. Yes, I thought to myself.

Victory! I got the recognition that I had hoped for. I tilted my head, smiled, and accepted the praise from my co-workers. Life was definitely grand.

In typical fashion, the self-satisfaction was short lived. The realization of the magnitude of my new commitment was like a bitch slap to my ginger beard. Shit… you need to get to work.

Turns out, this time in atypical fashion, that an act of selfishness can reap enormously unselfish and life-altering consequences.

My fundraising minimum for riding 23 miles (from Columbus to Groveport, the shortest of the tour options) with Pelotonia was $1000. I decided to dig in my heels, go balls out, and contact everyone in my Rolodex. People really do have a funny way of surprising you. In just under two months, I had raised the $1000 through just e-mails and Facebook posts. I didn’t hold a single bake sale. I didn’t sell any used furniture in a yard sale. All I had to do was tell my family and friends about my efforts to support cancer research, and they all gave whatever they could.

Pelotonia is a grass-roots bike tour with one goal: to end cancer.

My donor list was a healthy mix of family, friends, co-workers, and even a one-night stand or two. It’s true: kindness doesn’t discriminate!

I was already touched by the generosity of my supporters when I headed to Ohio State’s campus for the bike tour on that chilly Saturday morning in August. I knew only a little about the scope of Pelotonia’s influence on the Columbus community, but I was quickly schooled when I reached the starting point. Over 4,000 riders were lined up and ready to ride. A little internal math later, and I knew that sitting on that starting line was anywhere from $4-8 million in cancer-research funds. Tears stung my eyes as the realization of what I had accomplished hit me.

In the simplest of terms: I just helped end cancer. In one-way or another, my selfishness led to one of the most unselfish acts of my life.

Every hill, every climb, and every bump in the road on that Saturday morning wasn’t just a test of my endurance. It was a testament to everyone who had lost his or her life to cancer, everyone who was fighting cancer or had fought cancer and won, and to every doctor who stays up night after night looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. I rode for them, and, because of them, I will never forget that one Saturday morning in August—the morning I finally stood up to cancer and kicked its ass.

For more information about Pelotonia 2010, please visit www.pelotonia.org

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MIKEY ROX’S ULTIMATE GUIDE TO GAY GIFT GIVING

by Mikey Rox

($69.99; www.simplehuman.com)

washers. Cut down. Drink up. ($38; www.filtrete.com)

SNAP TO IT

THE BIGGER PICTURE

Ramona Singer infamously called Kodak antiquated, much to the chagrin of Jill Zarin, who was hosting an event on the company’s behalf during a season three episode of The Real Housewives of New York. Points go to Team Jill for that round, because Ramona was way off base. In fact, the iconic brand is as cutting-edge as its gets when it comes to affordable consumer technology. Case in point: the EasyShare M580, the world’s thinnest 14 megapixel, five-times zoom digital camera. The pocket-sized point-and-shoot also features a Share Button, which allows users to tag and upload pics to Facebook, YouTube, the Kodak Gallery and Flickr within seconds of plugging it into a computer. Mmhmm. Whatcha got now, Ramona? ($199.95; www.kodak.com)

There are digital photo frames and then there’s the CEIVA digital photo frame. What’s the difference? For starters, CEIVA frames come preloaded with your favorite pics so when the recipient opens the box your pearly whites are peering right back. But that’s not the best part. The frames are connected, allowing anyone, anywhere to send photos directly to the frame by camera phone, email, Facebook and more - a nice surprise for grandma when she walks in the door to see new pictures from her favorite gay grandson - unless her favorite gay grandson hits the wrong button, of course. But then, he really shouldn’t have such scandalous content stored on his Droid, now should he? ($127.99 and up; www.ceiva.com)

Picture it: You’re at your fave guppie’s Chrismukkah party (because he’s still “in lurve” with Seth Cohen) when tragedy strikes; the batteries in the electric bottle opener have died and your sanity is in danger. What to do? You reach for the barware drawer to retrieve a manual device just as you’re reminded that such “primitive items” don’t reside at that dwelling. Don’t slap the bitch.

Collect yourself and think. It’ll come to you. A-ha!

Your stainless steel bottle opener cuff links that you said you’d never use. At least not in public, anyway. But don’t be ashamed. You saved the day and, let’s be honest, there are worse things that you’ll do. In about three hours. ($50; www.cufflinks.com)

RINSE & REPEAT

DRINK TANK

PRODIGAL SUN

Shower time is sacred. And simplehuman aims to make it even better with its twin wall mounts with basket. Wide openings on the shampoo and conditioner dispensers prevent messy spills (is there a such thing in the shower?) and makes refills fast and easy. Convenient storage hooks hold a razor, loofah or other accessories, and the square tissue holder features an integrated clamp that keeps the box from falling out. (Although, if you’re blowing your nose in the shower, you’ve probably got bigger issues than escaping tissues.) Mount securely to a dry wall in 24 hours with silicone glue.

If you’re still buying bottle water on a daily basis, you’re behind the times. Not only is it expensive, but it’s also bad for the environment. In fact, you probably own a small part of your local landfill by now. For shame! Reduce your carbon footprint by investing in 3M’s latest innovation, the Filtrete Water Station, which features four reusable water bottles that fill with fresh, filtered water.

The water station provides the approximate recommended daily water intake - 64 ounces - with each bottle containing 16.9 ounces. The bottles are BPA-free with leak-proof caps and can be washed conveniently on the top rack of dish-

Go green while getting down with Solar Sound 2, the new and improved sun-powered portable speakers from pioneering company Devotec.

Building upon the success of the original Solar Sound, this upgrade promises a better listening experience with the use of specialty woven speaker cones; silver-plated, oxygen-free copper cabling; an efficient power circuit to provide even more juice to the amp; and a larger integrated battery that increases playing time from five to 10 hours depending on the volume level. That’s where the sun comes in. With its embedded solar panel and quick charging system, the unit can

play continuously under U.V. rays - even when the built-in battery is dead. Party on, party boy. ($99.99; www.devotecindustries.com)

OFF THE CUFF GARDEN VARIETY Paging Peg Bundy! Al’s trophy wife loved her some bonbons - but probably not this kind. Moulton’s Bon Bons are truffle-shaped mounds of clay and organic compost combined with seeds.

The Garden pack features two each of basil, parsley, chives and thyme, while the herb tea selection includes double quantities of borage, chamomile, lemon balm and Stinging Nettle. Just toss the handcrafted clay balls into the garden or an indoor container, add water, and watch them grow. Perfect for that crazy uncle who “talks” his plants. Misery loves company. ($14.95; www.moultonology.com) THE POTTY EXPRESS

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Or give the greatest gift of all: a student loan payment.

Small children do exactly three things - eat, sleep and wail. That is, when they’re not relieving themselves wherever they want like incontinent animals. Since you can’t outfit the kid with an electronic collar that’ll teach it to piss and poo in the pot (silly laws!), you have to train the little bugger - which can be a nightmare in itself. To make your life easier, the people at Baby Signs have created a potty training kit that makes go time interactive, easy and - you can be the judge of this - fun. The kit comes with a parents’ guide, the All Aboard the Potty Train DVD, All About the Potty Train Lift-The-Flap book, conductor’s whistle, and Job Well Done! stickers. Hooray for stickoutlookcolumbus.com

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We have a new obsession. It’s called trying new sandwiches.

dec 2010

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MIKEY ROX’S ULTIMATE GUIDE TO GAY GIFT GIVING -ies! Just wash your hands before you start doling those out, OK? ($39.95; www.pottytrainwithbabysigns.com)

cessible. The Toshiba WX800 Cinema Series 3D LED HDTV delivers an impressive three-dimensional experience within a premium, ultra-thin package. Beyond its COME WHAT CLAY luxe look, the WX800 is a wonder worthy of the Cinema Series label, Crate & Barrel and Bed, Bath and with an array of picture enhanceBeyond deserve mad props ments and wireless access to mostly because they’ve got the hundreds of streaming content wedding-gift market on lock.

HAUTE DOG options. In addition, beautiful cosThink about it. Even when you metics (a depth of less than 1.2 don’t know where a dear friend (or It’s no secret that gays pamper inches and sleek chrome trim) a not-so-dear friend for whom their pets. Custom feeders, top-of- and state-of-the-art features you’re obligated to buy a gift) is line leashes, sherpa-lined winter (multiple 3D input formats, inregistered, you can bet they’ve parkas - we go all out when it cluding MPEG4-MVC, RealD) signed up for swag at one of those comes to our furbabies. And why make this powerhouse the perfect stores. But don’t fall prey. You’re not? They’re loyal, they don’t talk choice for today’s most demandfaboo - and so should your gift be. back, and they want to cuddle ing home theater connoisseurs. It Enter Maid of Clay Ceramics, when that guy from Grindr does- goes without saying, too, that it’s handmade pottery with custom n’t. Now your pooch can shimmer conducive to some serious cudmonograms sculpted by a little and shine like the star it is with dling. ($2,599 and up; lady named Felicia in her Califor- Bowl Me Over Dog Tags from www.toshiba.com) nia studio. Two styles of vases as Wags & Tags, maker of luxury pet offered - Wedding and Sweetheart pendants. The three-dimensional STOCKING STUFFERS - but rest assured that each is one dog-bowl design is composed of of a kind. non-tarnishing sterling silver with BUZZED ABOUT ($99-$110; silver beads framing the entire cirwww.etsy.com/shop/maidofclay) cumference of the bowl. Five Handcrafted. All natural. Sulfatebones wrap around the side, and free. These are the words that deBIKES FOR DYKES a stainless steel connector that’s scribe Beecology, a line of skin snap- and crack-proof secures the and hair care products from the Sexy ladies have long had a love tag to your dog’s collar. Available family-owned and operated, Ohioaffair with motorcycles. Seems in small, medium and large sizes. based company. Stock up on unlikely, but examine the evidence; ($199-$559; earthy soaps, shampoos and lip nobody’s forcing those busty www.wagsandtags.com) balms for gifs that keep on giving blonds and brunettes to bend over all year round. the handlebars in every bike rag GO THE EXTRA SMILE ($2.99 and up; sitting on newsstands. One could www.beecology.com) argue that the female species Unless your dentist looks like John likes the feeling of all that power Stamos, you’d rather stay away.

‘MODERN FAMILY’ AND ‘GLEE’ ON between their legs, no? (Insert your Which presents a problem if you DVD own dirty joke here.) Whatever the want bright white chompers. Sure, case may be, California Scooter there are over-the-counter bleach- Forget to set your TIVO last year?

Co. has carved a niche in the mar- ing methods - and they’re relaNever fear. TV’s gayest new series ket for women who have a need tively inexpensive - but they’re also come packed with tons of extras for speed with three styles - Clas- messy and often painful. Simple, and special features in seasonsic, Greaser and Babydoll - and a safe and effective, Supersmile one box sets perfect for anyone custom-built option. The company takes a bite out of the competition craving awkward laughter and claims on its website that you’re in with a clinically proven gift set impromptu musical numbers. for the ride of your life. And if one that includes a Professional Se- (TBD; www.amazon.com) of these is waiting for your honey ries II LS45 Advanced Sonic in the garage on Christmas morn- Pulse Toothbrush (with patented DIY DESSERT ing, you probably will be.

45-degree angled bristles) and a ($4,995 and up; www.californias- three-month supply of its profes- Take notes, Hershey. Chocri cuscooterco.com) sional whitening system. The sys- tomers can create their own sweet tem safely whitens natural teeth snack online, which is then handSHAVE THE WAY and restores bonding, veneers, manufactured in Germany with caps and dentures to their original premium Belgian chocolate. Just This ain’t your daddy’s razor. The splendor. It also strengthens choose a base (dark, milk or Philips Norelco SensoTouch 3D enamel and eliminates harmful white), then select from over 100 uses GyroFlex 3D technology to en- bacteria, plaque and gingivitis. toppings, which includes tradiable three-dimensional contouring The one thing it won’t do, however, tional accompaniments like dried that pivots around, tilts inward is cure morning breath; dude is fruit and nuts and out-of-the-ordiand flexes outward to adjust still gonna taste icky in the AM. nary options like real gold flakes, seamlessly to every curve of the ($159; www.supersmile.com) jalapenos and bacon. ($6.90 and face and neck. The UltraTrack up; www.createmychocolate.com) heads include channels to catch NEURAL TUBE longer hairs, slots to catch normal FIVE O’CLOCK SOMEWHERE hairs, and holes to catch even the While theater tickets continue to shortest stubble, cutting every hair climb, the ultimate in home-view- Get your glug on anytime, anywith fewer strokes. Designed to be ing entertainment gets more ac-

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innovative and attractive in function and design, the cordless, electric shaver also features the SkinGlide system that combines a smooth surface with rounded edges to glide effortlessly over his manly mug. Kyan would be proud. ($199-$349; www.store.philips.com)

You don’t have to be gay to give these gifts. It’s just more fun if you are.

where with The Original Disposable Flask, a lightweight, durable, collapsible and freezable portal of potency that fits perfectly in a pocket or purse. Great for one-time use or as reusable, refillable respite. ($2.99; www.disposableflasks.com) LIGHT ’EM UP His bulbs will shine bright in these festive trunks from Pact, an ecofriendly and cause-conscious underwear shop. A portion of the proceeds will help charitable organizations EarthSpark and Citizen Effect send handheld solar lanterns to Haitians in need. ($22; www.wearpact.com) SPICE OF LIFE Surprise the amateur chef in your life with tsp spices’ Set for the Holidays, six tins of essential organic herbs for the seasonal kitchen. Each palm-sized box contains a bounty of fresh flavor to make delicious dishes like roast turkey, gingerbread cookies, pumpkin pie, mulled wine and more. ($40; www.tspspices.com) ‘SCANDLE’-OUS Turn up the heat with Scandle, a shimmery candle that burns two degrees above body temperature to produce soothing body oil in a relaxing aroma. Perfect for massages, cuticle treatments or as an everyday moisturizer. ($22.95; www.scandlecandle.com) POWER HOUR Motivate your partner to get moving with S2H Replay, a wristband that offers rewards for physical activity. Earn 60 points for every hour of exercise, which can be cashed in for prizes like gift cards, movie tickets, Wii consoles and iPod Nanos. ($19.95; www.s2h.com) PANTY RAID Fun, flirty and affordable, Affinitas Intimates offer packaged panties in both hipster and thong styles fabricated from comfy stretch lace and mesh. Three-packs come in assorted, solid colors and one size that fits waists zero to eight. ($28; www.affinitasintimates.com)

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I have a few kinks, however I like to work mine out in bed.

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MAKING THE WRONG CHOICES

by Mackenzie Worrall photo by Kamron Hinatsu “It’s opposite from the way parents are supposed to think, but maybe that’s why the world’s so messed up. You only get one chance in this life, right? Well, when you have a kid, you get two.” (Lake Overturn by Vestal McIntyre, Harper Perennial, 443 pages, $14.99 paperback) Lake overturn (aka limnic eruption) is the forgotten stepchild of natural disasters. Earthquakes and volcanoes may be popular in Hollywood, but that’s because someone can survive one of those. In a limnic eruption, the victims sputter for breath a few times, and then drop dead. During a lake overturn, carbon dioxide builds beneath the surface of a body of water until the pressure is greater than the weight of the water keeping it down, and a poisonous gas bubbles up and washes over the shore.

Enter Enrique and Gene, two students in Eula, Idaho who are trying to determine what caused this disaster for their science fair (the novel is set well before any solid scientific conclusion had been reached). Scientists in the 80’s were working against the clock to figure out how many other lakes had something sinister lurking beneath. McIntyre utilizes this mise en scène deftly with his characters. The people of Eula are all trying to achieve something, but there is something powerful building and waiting to bubble up from beneath.

And as they hit puberty, the boys begin to deal with their own sexuality as it surfaces.

I recently had a chance to delve deeper into the world of Eula with author Vestal McIntyre.

Mackenzie Worrall: Nampa, Idaho? How did you get from there, to being an author living in London?

Vestal McIntyre: I went to college in Boston, then moved to New York where I worked as a waiter for ten years at Restaurant Florent in the Meatpacking District. All the while, I was writing. My first book, a short story collection called You Are Not the One, came out in 2005.

The next year it was published in the UK, and I thought that made for a good excuse to visit London for the first time. I was out at a dance club with friends, and I met a very handsome guy named Tristan. Four years later, we’re married and living in Blackheath in the Southeast corner of London with our greyhound, Zippy.

MW: Enrique and Gene never see each other as more than friends (and certainly less than that at some points). This seems to be a theme in the lives of healthy, gay men: having somebody with you to know that this is not a journey you take alone. I applaud that you didn’t write a romance novel. But what do they see in each other that links them?

VM: We meet Enrique and Gene when what

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links them is starting to give way to what pulls them apart. You’re right to say that they’re both gay and that Enrique is on the road to accepting it, while Gene is on another road entirely. They have been friends because they are outsiders - Enrique, primarily because he’s gay; Gene, for a whole host of reasons which today would be attributed to Asperger’s Syndrome. Being gay is down the list of things that make him an outsider.

When I was thirteen, I was terrified of being seen as gay, and of being gay. I wanted to be cured, not to have an identity - much less a boyfriend! It’s different for kids today, even in Nampa, I hope.

MW: I absolutely loved Wanda. At times, it felt unrequited because she would do things that actually had me close the book in frustration. But I always picked it up again, hoping she’d make the right choice this time.

Why does she keep getting trapped by her old habits?

VM: Oh, to answer that would spoil part of the pleasure of reading the book, don’t you think?

I want readers to wonder why Wanda keeps sabotaging her own happiness. I wonder too.

Writers don’t always know these answers. But I’m glad you liked her. I’m fascinated with people who consistently make choices that are clearly wrong. I’ve known so many of those people. And I’m fascinated by the human aptitude for self-deception, which Wanda shows.

I overhear people on the bus, having these lively conversations on their cell phones, and I think, “You’re lying to yourself.”

MW: Wanda tells the girl she’s babysitting that when you have a kid, you get a second chance at life. Yet all of the parents and all of the kids in the novel seem to have as many problems as each other. The kids have adult problems, and the adults struggle with issues they could’ve worked out as kids. Is Wanda right about a second chance? It reads like the kids (especially Gene) grow up with a different set of problems - broken families, sexual identity and poverty.

VM: No, I don’t really believe what Wanda says in that scene is true, but it’s important for Wanda to believe it. She is someone who desperately needs a second chance. One of the fun things about writing fiction is that you can “try on” different ideas and points of view. You can have a character take on an idea you’ve toyed with and test it out for you. You can have the idea succeed or fail independent of whether it’s wrong or right. I don’t think having children gives you a second chance, but I think a lot of people have kids for that reason.

Any preconception or purpose a parent has outside of launching a brilliant, independent new life - is bad news for the kid.

To read more of this interview, head to www.outlookcolumbus.com. Vestal McIntyre is the author of Lake Overturn and You Are Not The One: Stories. He has been awarded fiction fellowships from the NEA and the New York Foundation for the Arts. Vestal now lives in London, where he is working on a second novel and a collection of stories based on his years in New York City.

Other natural disasters often overlooked are Chad’s waistline, Chris’s love life, and the State of Michigan,

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Da Bears!

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Hello, Dave!: an interview with Dave Koz

by Gregg Shapiro It’s hard to imagine a more perfect title for Dave Koz’s new album than Hello Tomorrow (Concord).

Beginning with the fact that after almost 20 years on Capitol Records, Koz has relocated to the Concord label, the album feels like a fresh start. “I feel like a brand new artist, too,” Koz said, as we began the interview, shortly before the release of the disc. “That’s a great thing to be able to feel. I have had a wonderful career and feel very blessed and yet in many ways it’s like starting from scratch again because the business has changed so much - there’s new people and new companies and new producers and new ways of recording. Everything has changed. And everything was brand new this time around. For someone who’s been around for a lot of years it was very refreshing and right on time. I needed that new dose of energy and new way of looking at things.”

GS: Speaking of reinvention, I know it was 20 years ago, but do you have any regrets about the mullet you were rocking on the cover of your first album?

DK: I have only regrets about the mullet I was rocking [laughs]. You’re very cute in saying that I was “rocking” it. That’s probably different than the way I would refer to it. I would probably say that it hasn’t worn well. That it’s rather embarrassing when it’s a record cover that never goes away. The truth is that everybody had that haircut. I wasn’t the only one. Unfortunately, I had to have a picture of me on my first CD. So it rears its ugly head constantly in my life. I wear it proudly as a symbol of staying power.

Gregg Shapiro: Dave, you are someone who, over the years, has been generous in the way that you share space on your CD, by collaborating with vocalists and other musicians. How did you go about selecting collaborators for the songs on Hello Tomorrow?

DK: Each song had its own unique calling, if you will. It was kind of like a casting session really, each song was kind of a script that called for…some of them didn’t call for another voice, but if it did it was about, “this would be perfect if blank came in” and then we would just call that person [laughs]. One of the great things is that I have two co-producers that had so much prestige that people really wanted to be involved in this project. When we called Herb Alpert, for example…

GS: I wanted to ask you about that since Herb also recorded a version of This Guy’s In Love With You. DK: This Guy’s In Love With You, is a personal song for me. I love that song and have always connected to it. When I heard it with fresh ears in 2010, this song just sounded like a song written for gay marriage, to me. In my head it sounded like a marriage equality theme song. With everything that’s going on right now, especially of late, it just seems like that song is simple and poignant and a sweet message about love, love of any kind. Who your love is, is your birth rite, who you love. I recorded that song and I wasn’t planning on singing it actually but my producers again, all of this new and change and going into this discomfort zone that they encouraged me to go to and said “you’re singing this” and I was like “Oh my god, I don’t know if I can do this.” But I did it.

To read more of this interview head to www.outlookcolumbus.com. Dave Koz is performing on Dec 3 in Cleveland at PlayhouseSquare/Palace Theatre and on Dec 5 in Columbus at the Palace Theatre. For tickets: www.ticketmaster.com or call the theater.

GS: You sound great.

DK: I’m happy with it and I said “we really should send this to Herb Alpert just for him to hear” because he has been a mentor of mine for many years. I love that man. So I sent it to him, he called me back and said “I not only give you my blessing but I would like to play on it, as well.” So he came in and played on the track and truly that was a Hello Tomorrow moment. He was playing on a song that he made famous in the late 1960’s.

GS: It’s also significant in that it was a breakthrough song for him because he also sang on his version.

DK: Right and he had one of his biggest hits and he is not a singer either. It is not a song that requires you to be a Pavarotti anyway to sing. So I don’t think any great singers of the world should be worried about Dave Koz venturing into their territory.

I can’t just sing anything. That’s a song that I connect to on an emotional level and really feel a part of it, a part of the message. So I think from that standpoint I was able to deliver on that song where I wouldn’t be able to on any other.

GS: What can you tell me about the upcoming Desperate Housewives appearance you are making with Dana Glover?

DK: I haven’t seen it yet, so I don’t know what to make out of it just yet. That song, Starting All Over Again, it’s Dana’s piece of music, she wrote it and sings it, I’ve known it for a long time. It’s just about timing for that piece of music, too. Once I heard it again in the context of this album, I said, “that’s the tree trunk to this album.” The fact that Mark Cherry, the creator of Desperate Housewives, heard it and loved it as well and said I want to make this one of the cornerstones of episode five and a theme running through this episode is a dream come true. Then he invited us to be a part of the episode. Dana is actually a housewife, she plays a “desperate housewife.” It’ll be very interesting to see how it all comes together. What I’m most interested to see is what kind of a reaction this song gets from people watching the show.

It’s a very powerful song and it speaks to a lot of people’s journeys right now. As I was talking about before, people are in this very strange state. A lot of people are anesthetizing themselves; a lot of them are freaked out. What do you do at that point? You can pick yourself up and start to repaint the canvas of your life. At any point in time, as long as you’re breathing, as long as you’re a live, you can reinvent yourself.

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Don’t you just want to kiss him? I wonder if his lips taste like wet reed?

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I personally think a stocky guy with a white beard is kinda hot.

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Columbus Museum of Art Unveils Latest Masterpiece with New Year’s Celebration

by Nancy Colvin A nip here, a tuck there, and voila, a centenarian is looking like a fresh-faced kid again. For more than a year now, the Columbus Museum of Art has been getting a much-needed facelift. Don’t worry though, we aren’t talking anything as crazy as Meg Ryan’s infamous lip procedure, we’re still the same museum you’ve always loved, we’ve just made a few upgrades.

Working with Schooley Caldwell Associates (SCA), an architectural firm known for their passionate preservation and renovation of historic buildings, and Corna Kokosing Construction, who have constructed or renewed many of the landmark buildings in Columbus, the Museum’s historic 1931 building has undergone a transformation and a name change. Richard and Elizabeth Ross and their family have been longtime champions of the Museum. To honor their many contributions to the Museum, the newly renovated historic Broad Street building has been named the Elizabeth M. and Richard M. Ross Building.

Mrs. Ross was a member of the Board of Managers and, in 1975 became the first woman president of the Museum’s Board of Trustees. She is also one of our longest serving trustees as well as

a founding member of our Women’s Board auxiliary. The family, inspired by Richard Ross’s love of photography, gave CMA its first significant body of photography holdings and supported the Museum’s acquisition of the Photo League Collection.

Their generosity also includes gifts of works of art such as Henry Moore’s monumental bronze sculpture Three Piece Reclining Figure: Draped, which graces the lawn of the Broad Street entrance and has became an iconic image forever associated with the Museum.

The renovations to the Elizabeth M. and Richard M. Ross Building were made possible through contributions to the Art Matters endowment and capital campaign. Launched in 2007, Art Matters has raised more than $50 million of its $80 million goal to date. Some additional goals of the campaign include sustainability, competitiveness and public value. Sustainability ensures that the Columbus Museum of Art’s extraordinary collection, compelling exhibitions, and vibrant programs will inspire generations to come. A competitive Museum will be in a position to attract the best national and international touring exhibitions, borrow incomparable works of art from other museums, and draw crowds to exhibitions, programs, and special events. And public value is that intangible and invaluable role that we play in mak-

by Romeo San Vicente PRIDE, PREJUDICE, ZOMBIES, GAYS Mike White made his name with oddball indies like Chuck and Buck and Year of the Dog while also crossing over into the mainstream with projects like School of Rock. But now the gay filmmaker is poised to step into the director’s role with what could turn into his biggest success yet, the movie adaptation of the wildly popular comic novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

The movie will bloody up Jane Austen’s classic with flesh-eating undead creatures, a plot device that story was crying out for, and now that David O. Russell has dropped out of the project, Lionsgate has offered White the job. The casting is all still up in the air, but notdead names like Scarlett Johansson and Bradley Cooper have been talked about quite a bit. And why, besides impossible scheduling demands, would any actor say no to the opportunity to either turn into a zombie or get their brains eaten by a ravenous pack of them or both? See? There are no good reasons to refuse.

CHANNING TATUM AND JAMIE BELL PLAY MASTER AND SERVANT Fans of unintentionally homoerotic man-on-man-onman action movies have something new to look forward to in early 2011. It’s called The Eagle and it’s

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ing Central Ohio a great place to live, work, and visit. We help to create a vibrant community of citizens, businesses, and organizations, who, in turn, enrich the Columbus Museum of Art. The Elizabeth M and Richard M Ross building now boasts: a transformed derby court with a luminous skylight and improved accessibility and acoustics; an innovative and engaging new center for creativity; new seating and improved acoustics in the cardinal health auditorium; multiple upgrades making the entire building more accessible; upgraded heating, ventilation, humidity and air conditioning systems; upgraded lighting throughout, especially in the galleries; reconditioned hardwood, terrazzo, and marble walls, ceilings and floors; and restored original decorative building features.

So, what do you do after you finish a project of this size? You invite all of your friends over to celebrate! CMA is hosting a free community event to celebrate the unveiling of its latest masterpiece on January 1, 2011. The party begins on the Broad Street lawn at 10a with hot chocolate, roasted chestnuts, music, loads of confetti (biodegradable, of course) and a grand unveiling and ribboncutting ceremony. Start the New Year with a resolution to share the new CMA experience with

from director Kevin Macdonald, acclaimed filmmaker responsible for the Oscar-winning The Last King of Scotland. And even putting aside the fact that every major city in the United States features at least one leather bar named “The Eagle,” this movie’s first impression – thanks to a stone-faced trailer – is one of taking the sexy warrior vibe of 300 and running with it all the way to kinky territory. Channing plays a Roman Centurion on a mission to restore honor to the memory of his father. And Jamie Bell? He’s Tatum’s slave, a fact communicated with shirtless wrestling and shouted dialogue like, “You are still my slave!” and “Get down on your knees!” On second thought, that resemblance to similarly named gay bars might not be all that coincidental, after all. See for yourself when it opens in February.

GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS AGAIN When it came out of nowhere a few years back, the demented drag comedy Girls Will Be Girls gave the gay indie film scene the shot of irreverent, incorrect humor it had misplaced on the road to queer rom-com suburbia. Starring Clinton Leupp (better known as Coco Peru), Jeffery Roberson, Jack Plotnick, Varla Jean Merman and Evie Harris, the raucous, raunchy, day-glo outburst quickly earned rabid fans and a sizeable cult following. So will there be a sequel? Writer-director Richard Day hopes so, which is why he’s currently working the Internet as a way to gather funding (Kick-

friends, neighbors, and the extended Central Ohio community. Throughout the day, we invite you to experience these events that will spark your creativity: • Watch the world’s fastest madcap milliner, Wacky Wendy, create her artful hats for a handful of lucky visitors. This sculptor and paper wizard has dazzled thousands at events across the U.S.; • Indulge in edible art created by a Japanese candy artist who will treat visitors to her delicious artistry in the form of dragons, horses, eagles, flowers, and a special CMA confection; • Model for artist Dr. Weakeyes who will create colorful portraits painted in abstract strokes with neon pens; • Channel your inner artist with a special handson art activity in our new Studio in the Center for Creativity; • Create your own souvenir flipbook to commemorate the day; • Enjoy live entertainment throughout the day in the Cardinal Health Auditorium.

We invite everyone to experience a New CMA on New Year’s Day! Nancy Colvin is the Marketing and Communications Manager for the Columbus Museum of Art. The museum is located at 480 East Broad Street. You can contact them at 614-629-0303 or visit www.columbusmuseum.org.

starter pages, everyone’s doing it). With a little money and all three “ladies” on board for more, it’s only a matter of time and cruel shoestring budget decisions before gay audiences get what they deserve. Hurry up, Girls, before you get any older.

GET OUT YOUR HANDKERCHIEFS: PRECIOUS IS COMING BACK If the movie Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire didn’t break your heart enough the first time and you were sitting around wondering when – WHEN?! – you’d get a chance to journey back to the slums of New York for another couple of hours of trauma, sexual abuse and tears with the girl everyone wanted to save from the hell of her own mother, then wonder no more. Sapphire’s untitled sequel just sold to Penguin Publishing. Set nearly two decades into the future – aka the present, since both Push and Precious were ’80s-bound – the novel will focus on Precious’s son. He has somehow grown up (according to the press release) “alone, brutalized and with the soul of an artist.” That press release better not have just spoiled the plot and given away the fate of sweet, HIV-positive, teen mom Precious. That would be awful. But expect movie rights to be dealt with in record time, all the same.

Romeo San Vicente is going to eat your brain and like it. He can be reached at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

Only thing better then Pride Prejudice and Zombies could be Pride Prejudice and Robots. Ya, I said it.

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To hop or shop...that is the questions.

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Food is dramatic - Life is delicious.

Episode 262 : To Hell With Burgundy - The Return of Jean and Foxy

by Mistress Crinkle I was exhausted, but I was finished. The presents were wrapped, my Douglas fir was perfectly positioned, I’d purchased a full gallon of ID glide, and a large pile of pot brownies sat next to an extremely tall glass of goats milk on a low table next to the Christmas tree: I was ready for the arrival of my gentleman caller, Kristopher Cringlestofferson.

I settled into my leather armchair, and glanced at the bottle of Four Loko on ice in a bucket to my left, and contemplated what fun it was going to be drinking a military-grade neurotoxin, forgetting my worries, and waiting for my beau – I only saw Kris once a year, so whenever he came, we made sure to make the lovemaking last. I had just sipped my first taste of Fo-Lo preparing to feel fly like a G6 when my calm was interrupted by the dreaded Yakety Sax ringtone that belonged to none other than Jean Skort.

“Hello” I said timidly, hoping against hope that this was just a courtesy call.

“Caller, Foxy and I are bored. I have a guest coming over later, but Foxy and I want to kill some time by doing a little mescaline and eating a little mesclun before my gentleman caller makes

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his appearance. Let’s go to The slathered in molasses ketchup, Burgundy Room, eat some shit, the smoky boar meat filling my and trip the light fantastic. We’re senses. outside, so get ready now.”

“Oh, girl. I know. It’s just an exI began to respond, but quickly pression. What has you all salty, realized that if I didn’t come out, bitch?” asked Jean, still ‘working’ she and Foxy would just let them- with her salad. selves in –Foxy inexplicable always seemed to have keys to my Sighing, I spoke, “Well, honestly house.

Jean, I was sitting in my house, waiting for this guy I really, really Less than an hour later I found like, and you guys showed up. It myself sitting in a rounded booth just seems like you’re are always in The Burgundy Room, The Short forcing me to do things that I North’s premier Wine and Tapas don’t want to do. I just wanted to bar. Jean in pink chiffon and a sit in my house, drink a few large, white leather belt to my glasses of Four Loko, get into my left, Foxy Bagels dressed as an stocking-shaped sleeping bag, elf to my right, and a ridiculous put a little Vaseline on my nether amount of food in front of us. regions, and…”

Foxy had apparently faxed her order ahead.

Jean, who clearly was only halflistening, interrupted.

“Caller, this Roasted Butternut Squash and Arugula salad with “Oh, I’m seeing a guy tonight too. pickled beets, spiced almonds, I can’t wait. We’ve had this thing Maytag blue cheese and apple going on for years. He comes over cider-brown butter vinaigrette is about 9pm, we go at it, drink a the deal. If it had an ass, I’d be little asti-spumanti, and play eating it,” said Jean as she atfootsie until he has to go make tempted to navigate a large fork his deliveries at 11. It’s like full of salad into the gaping, lip- magic. We do some weird stuff, sticked hell mouth that was her too. I’m talking rubber sheets, food hole. Her large, fake nails and yelling. He had me curse at attempting to make use of the him in German for an hour once. fork was comedic at best, and It was hot, gurrrrrl!” disastrous at worst.

Sighing again, I watched deject“You are eating it, Jean,” I said edly as Foxy dug into her sweet as I took a bite out of small meadows farm braised pork smoked wild boar corndog slider on focaccia with pickled

carrots, Amish Munster, mixed greens and rosemary-Dijon aioli with lemon-thyme roasted fingerling potatoes. Why is it, I wondered, that Jean never listened to me? Why was it always about her?

Convinced I should say something about our very one-way friendship, I spoke.

“Jean, I really feel like you’re not interested in my life. I am really excited about my guy-friend visiting tonight, and you can’t even listen to what I’m saying!”

“Shit girl, be right back.”

Jean had spotted the infamous Hurricane Garrison Stevens Coquezucked Michaels Summers D’opulence, Columbus’ leading bulldog impersonator. Jean stood and quickly made her way over to the ageing but still-impressive hurricane. They hugged, and chatted for a moment, which all seemed very normal, until, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a strange flash of light. When Jean returned to the table, a large glass of Chianti in hand, her hair was ablaze.

“Jean, you hair is on fire!” I screamed, looking frantically for something with which to douse the flames.

“That bitch lit me up! She always

does! I don’t even think she knows she’s doing it,” said Jean nonchalantly as she calmly patted her flame filled hair. Foxy, moving more urgently, grabbed the bowl of shrimp and grits with broken arrow ranch smoked wild boar kielbasa and red eye gravy, and dumped it on Jean’s head.

The flames were quickly smothered by the thick and delicious concoction.

ing at me strangely, and putting her sparkling glass of Schloss Gobelsburg down.

I continued, my voice becoming louder as I spoke.

“I put up with your constant theft, your lying, your weird contour technique, the late-night phone calls, the bad choreography. I put up with all of your shit, and this is how you repay me? By letting my bearded man make you his ho-ho-ho. Jean, I’m going to kick your fat, padded, pockmarked ass! “

“When Kris C gets here, I want to make sure this weave is turned out. Foxy, you better shampoos every delicious bite of these grits out of this weave!” said Jean, as she stuck her finger into her hair, Reaching into my purse, I and then licked her finger clean. grabbed a jar of Vaseline. I quickly applied it to my face, and “Did you say Kris?” I asked, igpulled my fake lashes off. Foxy noring loud chewing. looked on in horror. Jean, stunned and utterly silent, looked at me “Yea, Kristopher Cringlestofferfearfully, stood, and then ran. son. You don’t know him – he’s Smiling, I kicked my shoes off, from out of town. He’s about 700, and tossed some cash on the Dutch, I think. Gray beard and table. hair, kind of bearish. He loves the south pole, if you know what I “Pay the bill Foxy. I want to kick a mean.”

Hippopotamus for Christmas, and her name is Jean!”

I was stunned and utterly crushed. My Christmas visitor, “Have fun gurl,” Foxy yelled as I the man I’d given my virginity to sprinted away. “And bring me all those year ago, was cheating back her weave, I want some on me with Jean Skort. more of those shrimp and grits.

That shit’s expensive, you know.”

“Jean, you ignorant slut. You’ve been sexing my Christmas visi- The Burgundy is located at 641 N High St. hours: Mon-Sat 4p-2a, Kitchen : tor.” I was shocked by how angry Bar Mon-Thu 5p-11p, Fri-Sat 5p-1a. ReservaI sounded. Jean took notice, look- tions call 614.464.WINE.

Do you ever wonder “hey I wonder if they are talking about me in this article?” Odds are the answer is yes.

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Wow! There’s a lot of Bs on this page.It must be the hive.

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Feast or Fashion?

by Ryan Harris In today’s world of fashion, a day does not go by that you don’t hear about models being too skinny. The argument is that the fashion world promotes an unrealistic image of beauty. Young girls identify themselves with the images they see in magazines and question their own body. This can lead to a number of eating disorders and criticism of the fashion industry’s decision to use skinny models. But is this argument valid?

Many department stores use mannequins to display their clothing that are staged typically as a size 2 or 4 and have an hourglass shape. This is not the average size or shape of a real woman. The fashion industry assumes the standard measurements for a woman are a 35-inch bust, a 27-inch waist, and a 37.5inch hip.

According to a report by the New York Times, 64 percent of women are pear shaped while 30 percent are a rectangle shape. The Times also reported that the average size of real women in America is 14.

But let’s not leave out the gents. The fashion industry also assumes the average man is a 40-inch chest, 34-inch waist, and a 40-inch hip with a 15.5-inch collar.

According to the same report from the New York Times, in the real world, men actually average a 44-inch chest, 38-inch waist, and a 42-inch hip with a 17-inch collar.

So again, is the argument that the fashion world promotes an unrealistic image of beauty valid? Does this representation of the “perfect shape and size” lead to unhealthy eating habits by today’s youth or the general consumer who attempts to stay on trend with the fashion industry?

In my opinion, the fashion industry has taken great strides in recent years to promote healthy lifestyles. For example, many modeling agencies and designers will no longer use models that have the “Crack Head” look that was so popular several years ago, when the critics really began to take on a very public campaign against the starving model image. Even this season of America’s Top Model kicked a girl off the show the very first week because she refused to accept that she was too thin and looked unhealthy. Department stores are now beginning to incorporate fuller figured mannequins in their stores and storefronts, and real women and men are being used in ads across the board.

The fashion industry must be commended for listening to the consumers and taking charge to change their reputation.

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Do you think he uses AOL inches?

I feel the fashion industry’s intentions are to inspire us with their designs, and to sell “looks” for each season. Just because you see a size 2 model walking down the runway in a tailored jacket and skinny jeans doesn’t mean you have to be a size 2 to create the same look. You can certainly achieve this same look simply by wearing the right cut for your body shape. Or a male model with a ripped body wearing underwear in a Calvin Klein ad doesn’t mean you need a ripped body to wear Calvin underwear. The way I see it is if the fashion industry truly felt that only “perfect” shaped bodies could wear their designs, knowing that the average American isn’t the “perfect” shape, then who would buy their designs? Nobody, so the industry would crash. I suggest you allow yourself to be inspired by the looks, and educate yourself on how to dress for your body shape. There are many websites online and stylists right here in Columbus that can easily assist you in this process.

The world of fashion is very closely tied with causes around the world to promote not just healthier lifestyles, but to bring awareness and to increase funding to assist in the fight against many diseases such as cancer, heart disease, AIDS, and not to mention world hunger amongst many others. Would they really assist in the effort to bring an end to world hunger if they didn’t want the world to eat and be healthy? Think about that…

Now let me switch gears for just a moment and move into the world of pageantry. Although the world of fashion and the world of pageantry tend to behave like the “Hatfield’s and McCoy’s” at times, refusing to acknowledge the other as “part of the family,” the truth is that they are very much related when it comes to criticism of the choices they make. Yes, I’m speaking of the ever so controversial, yet popular, swimsuit competition. Everyone has his or her own opinion on this topic, but let’s be real for just one moment. The critics claim that the swimsuit competition is degrading to women, and that the contestants starve themselves to have that “perfect” shape. This simply is not true. Of course there are always exceptions in every case and in every situation, but the point of the swimsuit competition is to evaluate the contestant’s physical fitness. Pageant contestants are role models for today’s youth and inspirational to so many that can benefit from the causes these talented young ladies volunteer their time to. As role models, they must promote a healthy lifestyle, so eating fast food every day and clogging up your entire system is not being healthy. Therefore the judges are not looking for the skinniest girl, they are looking for the outwardly appearance of a healthy girl, what ever size that may be.

So to answer the question of whether the fashion industry promotes an unhealthy lifestyle, the answer is no in my opinion, although at one time I would have said yes. With all the changes taking place over the past several years in fashion, it is time to put the responsibility of embracing a healthy lifestyle on the parents, the teachers, the mentors, and most importantly… yourself. Be happy, be healthy, embrace your body shape and allow yourself to be inspired, and take responsibility of your own life and style. Trust me; this will make you a true Fashionista!

Make Every Day A Runway!

Ryan Harris is a fashion consultant/stylist for Wardrobe Therapy LLC and the owner of RH Model Mentor. Contact him at rhmodelmentor@yahoo.com, or for more style info log onto www.wardrobetherapyllc.com.

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Visit the Wex. Visit them often. Support the arts!

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I don’t like to decide between Naughty or Nice. I like them both!

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by Dan Savage I’m a 23-year-old female college student whose life consists of going to class and going to the gym. I got hurt in my last relationship, so I’ve been staying away from dating for a while. I’m attractive and I notice guys checking me out - making the gym a second home does have benefits! - but I’m afraid I come off as unapproachable.

I’ve noticed this fine guy at the gym. From the way he looks at me, I can tell he’s interested, but I have no idea why he hasn’t approached me. We make a lot of eye contact while we work out, and some days he’ll walk by my treadmill and awkwardly smile, but we’ve talked only once. Is he shy? Should I try to talk to him again? How can I come off as more approachable? I’m finding myself obsessing over him (like I said, he is fine), but the more I do, the more pathetic I feel.

Pathetic Shy Girl With A Crush We’ll get to your issues in a moment, PSGWAC, but first…

Girls are still getting hit on at work, on the bus, at the gym, and in class, of course, just not by nice guys. The guys who approach girls at work, on the bus, etc., are, for the most part, fine and otherwise assholes.

So I’m thinking Fine Boy is either a nice, polite, clueless straight dude who doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or he’s a fag who stares because he thinks your skin is flawless and is sincerely curious about what product you use in your hair.

Here’s how you find out whether Fine Boy is straight and polite or gay and product-curious: Approach Fine Boy - take it from me, nothing makes you seem more approachable than physically approaching someone - and tell him you’d love to hang out sometime outside the gym, outside your clothes, etc., and see what he says.

I’m gay but I’m just a normal guy. The most stereotypical gay thing about me is that I’m a musical-theater major. But I can fix a car, I don’t enjoy dancing (in clubs), I hate the bar scene, and I never use the word “fabulous.” I’m not attracted to faggy men.

Can you assure me that there are nonfaggy gay men out there?

Advice Columnist: “Don’t go like that.”

I’ve been with my husband for nearly eight years. When we met, he weighed about 140 pounds, which wasn’t bad on his fivefeet-ten frame. Since then, he’s ballooned to 230 pounds! I know I should just be a grown-up and tell him that it would improve our sex life if he lost the weight. The problem is this: I am a recovering anorexic. My husband knows and has been nothing short of wonderful, understanding, and caring about it since the beginning. Due to my issues, he would never make a disparaging comment about my weight - so how can I make one about his? But his weight is killing my desire for him! It feels so horrible and shallow to say, but I just want to be fucked by someone who isn’t so fat. He’s great in every other aspect, except for his weight. I’m at the point where I’m about to take up an invitation from an ex in town for the weekend just so I can have sex with someone who doesn’t have a belly.

Is it wrong for me to ask my husband to lose the weight after everything I’ve put him through with my own issues?

Former Annie-Rexic

Don’t you hate it when you’re working on a column that’s way overdue and you have a horrible headache and you grab the bottle of pills from your suitcase - a travel selection of Excedrins, Advils, and 222s - and you pour the pills into your hand and pick out a couple of 222s (they’re the ones that don’t have an “E” on them and aren’t green) and you toss the 222s in your mouth while you click through a few e-mails and then nearly choke to death?

Don’t you hate that?

And don’t you hate it even more when you’re sitting there wondering how you nearly choked to death on a couple of 222s - they’re skinny! You conquered that gag reflex in middle school! - and then you remember that your boyfriend put four of his massive, easy-tochoke-on Vicodins in with your pills the last time he came along on a trip?

Straight Actor There are no nonfaggy gay men out there, SA. Or there are no other nonfaggy gay men out there, I should say, because you’re nonfaggy - I’m taking your word for it, SA - and there you are, all nonfaggy and majoring in musical theater! But you’re the only fabulously masculine gay man in America! You’re like Will Smith in I Am Legend, only you have to sing and dance and blow loads on guys instead of running and screaming and blowing away loads of zombies.

But there may be a few homos out there masculine enough to meet with your approval. Look around the tech department of your theater program, SA, and if you see someone in paint-spattered jeans, carrying a power tool, with a pack of smokes tucked in a back pocket, ask that butch dyke out. She’s your only hope.

Don’t you hate that?

Okay, I had better get to it, huh? Soon I won’t be fit to operate the remote for the TV in my hotel room much less dole out sex advice to my love-, clue-, and orgasm-lorn readers. But before we begin: My apologies to anyone unlucky enough to find their letter in this week’s column.

Okay, PSGWAC, a lot of guys - fine and otherwise - have been led to believe that hitting on girls who aren’t in bars or on personals websites is tantamount to sexual harassment. Because, you see, for the last 20 years, fine and otherwise guys have been told that it’s not nice to hit on girls at work, on the bus, at the gym, or in class.

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I’m the type of guy who always has a lot to drink because I need to have the courage to hit on girls and also because I don’t want to look like one of those assholes who stays sober so he can have the pick of the most wasted girls. However, when I do end up with a girl in my bed, I can’t get it up. Tactfully saying, “Let’s wait till the morning” is not much fun.

Presumably, your husband wouldn’t hesitate to speak up if you began starving yourself to death again, FAR, so I don’t - in my condition - see why you shouldn’t hesitate to speak up now that he’s eating himself to death. Unless, of course, that would tear open your food-related wounds.

So speak up. Thank him, once again, for the way he’s supported your efforts to keep the weight on and explain how you’re going to support his efforts to take the weight off.

I am a woman in my early 20s and I have been in a happy hetero relationship for several years. My boyfriend has a foot fetish, and I have no problem doing what satisfies him. The problem is that the same is not true for him. He doesn’t like sex at all, and he’s barely even tried to go down on me. He has never come during intercourse. It’s as if he is repulsed by my vagina. I should also mention that, unlike other foot fetishists, he enjoys being in control, i.e., tying me up, holding me down, etc. Is there anything I can do to make sex more enticing and enjoyable?

Starting To Get Fed Up

It Does Work, I Swear

Have it with someone else.

Advice Seeker: “Dan, Dan! My dick doesn’t work when I go like this.”

Find the Savage Lovecast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage mail@savagelove.net

After a night of drinking I can always get it up, but takes a bit longer to get off... Which I don’t think is a bad thing?

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byJackFertig

e l ky

by Chris Hayes It’s hard not to fall in lust, if not love, with this month’s local celebrity. 28 year-old Kyle Kline is an Ohio boy through and through. Grown up in Norwalk, a bright-eyed and adventurous Kline came to Columbus ten years ago in search of adventure. He started off as an archeology major at the then little “the” Ohio State University (Go Bucks!), hoping to become a real life Indiana Jones. When he realized he’d be stuck teaching instead of doing, he decided to take up another course of study - booze, boys and interpersonal communications - at THE Union Station Video Café (don’t you miss that place?).

You best know him today as one of Union’s famed Startenders (yes, that’s right, that’s what they call ‘em) and bar managers and that’s where the love comes in. After Kyle heavy-handedly pours you a few of his favorite cocktails (the donkey punch or a shot of pineapple kamikaze) you can’t help but drift away in those puppy bear eyes, want to shoot porridge all over his ornery muzzle or curl up on his big hairy chest and hibernate. That or drink through it.

If your not a bar fly at one of the Roy G Biv properties, you might recognize Kyle from his face being plastered on both the Union advertising materials or any of the Find Fred marketing propaganda. His mug is seemingly on anything his company needs to promote. You might also catch him in an ad for suicide prevention or for his birthday in this very issue.

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“Be sensible, Libra!”

But this bear of few words is more than just a pretty cub and a great drink slinger, he’s also an artist. Kyle loves to write poetry when he gets the chance, something he says very few people know about him. We think his verses would be a best seller (at least on Bear 411) if ever her should package them in a book for his adoring fans.

When not trying to rhyme, liquoring people up or striking a pose, our celeb likes to play volleyball, work on his bearish figure at Oxygen (he’s almost to his goal of 220lb - yum), spend time with his friends and cavorting with his lover Steven and their French Bull dog Sophie. He’s also been known to hit a circuit party or two, and at his (and my) favorite dancefest Winter Party, is where we occasionally shake our cans cans together. If you want to see him in action, you can catch our King of the Bears (and half of Cbus) this winter on the Atlantis floating city better known as the Allure of the Seas.

Kyle says the best thing about our town is the gay scene and it is our great community, and that is reason for his continued stay here. Though he has dreams of someday trying out Chicago, he’s happy right where he is. He hopes his newfound celeb status will help him earn some dough.

We don’t know about that, but we do know that Kyle’s Bearday is coming up on Dec 20, so if you see this grizzly out, make sure to buy him a Kettle One Orange and Redbull and make it double, cuz that’s pretty much what he always pours you. Oh, and just to clear up any lingering rumors –he’s not a total bottom. Steven, you’re a lucky gal.

Bears eat fish, Kyle does not. Can he ever be a real bear?

popular could be harnessed into a more political charisma.

Mars in Sagittarius provokes us What to do? The answer is deep to speak and act out in search inside you. of new perspectives. He’s squared to Uranus, though, GEMINI (May 21- June 20): It’s provoking accidents, rash harder than usual to stay out of statements and decisions we’ll arguments. Your friends could regret later. The greatest adhelp you if you can keep the ventures are deep inside. Medi- signals clear. Thinking ahead is tation and introspection can good; intuiting ahead is better. yield tremendous insights.

Accept criticism from the boss, even if overly harsh, as a chalSAGITTARIUS (November 22 – lenge to improve.

December 20): Get out and have a little fun, but even there, CANCER (June 21- July 22): think ahead and be careful.

Talking with your boss about Home is a danger zone, and not your goals is sure to highlight just for the preponderance of existing confusion, but can lead accidents that happen there. toward resolution. Not talking Not a good time to call the folks about the problem will just either! make it worse. Just complaining about lack of direction will CAPRICORN (December 21 – undermine efforts and confiJanuary 19): Digging up family dence. secrets could prove explosive.

How much are you ready to LEO (July 23 – August 22): The learn? Revealing those (or call to adventure may be irreother) secrets could cause a lot sistible, but it does involve bigof trouble. You need to talk, but ger risks than you can select your confidante wisely. anticipate. Look ahead and be careful to cut down on dangers, AQUARIUS (January 20 – Febru- but you will be surprised – ary 18): Going out on a limb for maybe for the better. political principle can gain you points for audacity and inVIRGO (August 23 – September tegrity, but leave you in the 22): Domestic squabbles might lurch. Holding true to core val- make for some crazy passion ues is most important, but how or lead to great makeup sex. they work in reality should That won’t eliminate the conevolve with the times. flict, but it could reframe it dramatically. That could lead to a PISCES (February 19 – March helpful breakthrough, but you 19): Daring risks and changes still have lots of work ahead of might get you ahead, but the you! only guarantee is that without taking a chance you’ll trip your- LIBRA (September 23 – October self up badly. Meditate on 22): Worrying about accidents what’s important. In the end in- invites them as much as carestinct and intuition will serve lessness does. Be sensible, obbetter than apparent logic. serve standard precautions, but dithering and first-guessing ARIES (March 20 – April 19): yourself is no good either.

Your ruler, Mars, is goading you “Helpful” efforts, whichever to explore new ideas and end you’re on, are also likely to places. Even – or especially – make things worse. in quiet meditation in a dark room you can hardly help but to SCORPIO (October 23 – Novemmake important discoveries. ber 21): Hide the plastic. Any Staying true to yourself means unnecessary shopping can only accepting growth and change. end badly. Set aside a carefully budgeted amount for entertainTAURUS (April 20 – May 20): ment and have some fun. You Finding sexual adventure is need to release some energy, easy enough, but it could com- but there’s no need for it to be plicate friendships. The erotic expensive. energy that’s making you so Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977 teaches at the International Academy of Astrology www.astrocollege.com. He can be reached for personal or business consultations at www.starjack.com,

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It’s all in who you know, so get to Network Columbus this month and get to know some people.

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