2011-02-01 outlook columbus by Outlook Media, Inc

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outlook The aging Issue

feb 2011 • vol 15 issue 9

inside: snapshot NYE The Story on Exile Shane Carpenter aarp’s kevin craiglow Gohi calendar I am My Own Wife valentine’s gift guide my fabulous disease trippin’ out Fort Lauderdale & Local Celeb Rob

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feb 2011

Surprise your valentine! Bring a third.

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you are here

snapshot

7 hey! 9

qmunity: local

qmunity: national

small pond

15 open kimono

OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Christopher Hayes HEADQUARTERS Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, Bsmt Ste ii Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525 phone 614.261.8200 fax www.outlookmedia.com SUBSCRIPTIONS & DISTRIBUTION Call 614.268.8525 BUSINESS DIRECTOR Michael Daniels: mdaniels@outlookmedia.com ADVERTISING ACCOUNT REPS Chad Frye cfrye@outlookmedia.com Mary Malone mmalone@outlookmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media - 212.242.6863

16 truth wins out 18 insightout

Aging, City Council & Something About a Heart Unless you’re a vampire, you can’t help but age. We all do it, but how many of us plan for the care we will need when we are seniors? How many of us will have kids or family around to take care of us in our final years? Whereas our straight counterparts tend to couple up, get married and procreate ‘round the time that they get out of college, most people in the gay community don’t pair up for life ‘til much later or if at all. And a lot of us don’t have kids. So who will take care of us in the twilight? Our friends? Not if we don’t have intergenerational friendships. Our friends of the same age will likely be going through the same difficulties we will be. Our family? We hope being the favorite aunt or uncle will earn us enough points with our nieces and nephews to help out, but will it? Will you even be in the same state as your family? It’s something no one wants to think about, and it hasn’t been till recently that people started thinking about in terms of the queer population. This issue we dive into the issue of aging in the GLBT community. How fun is that! We thought we give you some light reading for the depressing days of February. You’re welcome.

process in the country, we saw the Columbus City Council appoint two people to the seats vacated by Charleta Tavares and Mike Mentel. Does anyone remember when a City Council seat was actually voted on? Of the 49 applicants, we did manage to rustle up 6 good GLBT candidates, five of whom made it to the final 18. Unfortunately, neither appointee Michelle Mills nor Zach Klein is gay. Always a bridesmaid I guess… anyone else sick of taffeta? Regardless, I’m sure Mills and Klein will be fine Councilmembers and champions for our issues.

In other topics of discussion, in what some say is the most undemocratic

Chris Hayes Co-Publisher

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not that kind of girl

transpicuous

complete the circuit

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF & ART DIRECTOR Christopher Hayes hayes@outlookmedia.com MANAGING EDITOR Jon Dunn jdunn@outlookmedia.com EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Phillecia Cochran pcochran@outlookmdia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Regina Sewell, Romeo San Vicente, Jack Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Dan Savage, Mickey Weems, Michael Daniels, Chris Hayes, Jon Dunn, Chad Paul Frye, Mackenzie Worral, Phillecia Cochran, Wayne Besen, Ryan Harris, Gregg Shapiro, Aaron Leveanthal,, J. Eric Peters, Mikey Rox, Steven C. Anderson

calendar

about town

feature

creative class

CONTRIBUTING DESIGNER Robert Trautman

deep inside hollywood

INTERNS Mackenzie Worrall, Sam Malone

23 frames per second

consumerism

fashion forward

44 my fabulous disease And speaking of issues, Valentine’s Day is coming up which makes everyone say Yeah! or Boo! or Who the f#$k Cares! depending on the state of your love life. If you are in love and need some ideas, check out Mikey Rox’s gift guide in this issue. If you need something for me, I really enjoy Tulips and Carnations. And if your not in love, well, you can have a drink (or ten) with me and the rest of the not-really-that-lonely hearts club. We’ll probably be at Level.

ADVERTISING DEADLINES Reservations by the 15th of each month. Art in by the 20th.

tripping out

savage love

local celebrity

astro forecast

NEXT MONTH Until next month, pay it forward.

The Politics Issue

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS John Barber, Zoe Copeland, cover: Mad Stu Media

CYBERSPACE http://www.outlookcolumbus.com http://www.outlookmedia.com http://www.networkcolumbus.com http://twitter.com/outlookcolumbus facebook @ outlook: columbus outlook columbus is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. the first day of each month throughout Ohio. outlook columbus is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than 5 copies of any issue outlook columbus with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted. The views expressed in outlook columbus are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management. outlook columbus does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented. Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2010 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

Chris: Hey Chad write me a tagline about Candy Hearts. Chad: Who is Candi Hearts and what does Panties think about her? Seriously.

feb 2011

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NYE @EXILE DECEMBER 31, 2010

THEY’RE ALWAYS HAPPY WHEN THEY’RE NEW.

NYE @EXILE DECEMBER 31, 2010

bEGGING FOR ACID.

A PACKED HOUSE. A FUDGE-PACKED HOUSE.

PLUmPER LIvES!

NETWORK @CUT N BLOW JANUARY 12, 2011

mOSCOW mULES ARE mADE WITH GINGER bEER! GINGER!

DID SOmEONE SAY bEER?

½ OF CUT-N-bLOW

THE OTHER HALF

KDB VIP EVENT JANUARY 15, 2011

WHERE DOES ONE bUY LARGE NOvELTY SCISSORS?

EASTON ISN’T mARS! THEY HAvE bOOzE!

GO FORTH, YOUNG GAYS!

LOOK AT ALL THOSE WONDERFUL TOYS!

UGLY SWEATER PARTY JANUARY 22, 2011

NETWORK @CUT N BLOW JANUARY 12, 2011

UGLY SWEATER PARTY JANUARY 22, 2011

COLIN AND HIS PUSSY SWEATER

NYE @EXILE DECEMBER 31, 2010

feb 2011

SUPERmAN?

THE DODD-FATHER

Have event photos? Email them to Art@outlookmedia.com

COLLEEN, YOU’RE A ROSE bETWEEN TWO THORNS.

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Its safer than smoking...

feb 2011

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feb 2011

We love Nate. Also, buy an ad. Everyone. We love selling them! Call Chad @614-268-8525 x2!

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Open Letter To The Governor Dear Governor Kasich, Ohio law currently allows for legal discrimination in employment, housing, and public accommodation based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Despite, the 2009 passage of HB 176 (Equal Housing and Employment ActEHEA) in the Ohio House of Representatives, this form of discrimination remains legal as the bill failed to move forward in the Senate. In light of the lack of legislative success of EHEA, Governor Ted Strickland issued an executive order prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity in employment decisions made in Ohio’s cabinet agencies, state boards, and state commissions. Since taking office, you have allowed this order to expire.

Ohio’s cabinet agencies, state boards, and state commissions. Nearly three quarters of Ohioans favor employment and housing laws that make it illegal to discriminate based on sexual orientation or gender identity; thus a move in this direction would be representative of Ohio’s values. As a dedicated leader of Ohio, such an order will underscore your commitment to strengthening our state and will communicate the importance of economic security for all Ohioans. I believe you said it best in the following statement, “…when our families have jobs, they have hope. They have dreams. And they have strength. It is my only purpose and my only passion.”

I thank you for your consideration in this matter and all matters of equality. I happily welcome further conversation regarding anti-discriminatory legislation and to specifically discuss research illusIn your inauguration speech you trating the need for this important referenced the importance of God step of leadership. I agree with you in your life and specifically shared Governor in your assessment that, that, “He reminds us that no one “…when one part of Ohio hurts, person is superior to any other per- we all hurt.” son because in his eyes, all are equal.” Sincerely, On November 2, 2010, you were elected to serve as Governor for the state of Ohio. As an Ohioan, I need to know that you will represent my interests and protect that of my family. I need to know that I can exist without fear of discrimination. Public office should not be a vehicle to inflict our moral and/or religious beliefs on others. I am not asking you or anyone else to approve of me, my family, or my community. I’m not concerned with whether or not you agree with what occurs in my private life, as I am not concerned with what occurs in yours. I am requesting that you sign an Executive Order prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity in employment decisions made in outlookcolumbus.com

Erin R. Upchurch, MSSA, LSW Diversity Strategist Columbus, Ohio Governor’s Anti-Discrimination Protections Should Not Be Weakened To the Editor: The American Civil Liberties Union of Ohio urges Governor John Kasich to reconsider his decision to eliminate gender identity and expression from an executive order prohibiting discrimination against state employees. The executive order was issued on January 21, and includes groups already protected under state and federal anti-discrimination laws. Under previous Governor Ted Strickland,

the executive order covered sexual orientation and gender identity. Governor Kasich’s order only includes sexual orientation.

Although I’ve worn glasses since I was twelve.

While your black print, on hazy and dark gray pages looks really ‘artsy’ As a member of the business com- I guess, it’s illegible to most situamunity, Governor Kasich should un- tions. I strain to read the thing sitderstand that the threat of ting in my own easy chair under an discrimination is toxic to any work- open window in mid-afternoon, and place. It becomes more difficult to in a Bar? Forget it! Pictures only. retain and recruit the best talent when they may fear reprisal simply Imagine what somebody who has because of who they are. even slightly impaired vision would have to endure? But I can’t imagTransgendered people are perhaps ine they even make the attempt one of the most vulnerable groups any more. of Ohioans because fear and stigma continue to follow the com- Thanks for reading, cuz’ I can’t, munity. Those who were already Chris employed by the state and were Columbus, OH open about their lives are now in Name Check Anyone? the unenviable position of being fired or demoted because they are no longer protected. This is unfair To the Editor: and unacceptable for our public servants. I really appreciate your bringing Berenice Abbott to the attention of The executive order prohibits disyour readers - she is one of the crimination against only those em- greatest of photographers. But the ployed by the state. Currently, Ohio very least you could do is spell her does not protect private-sector em- name correctly. It is misspelled ployees from bias based on sexual multiple times in the January orientation and gender identity issue. meaning employees can be fired, demoted, or unduly passed over for John a promotion and have no recourse. via website Governor Kasich correctly recognized it was important to safeguard state employees on a wide range of factors, including sexual orientation. He should seek to provide the broadest protection possible, and not exclude a group in desperate need of acceptance and equality. Sincerely, Christine Link ACLU of Ohio Executive Director You’re Hard to Read

Vietnam had continued with his powerful leadership. Today, the FBI is assaulting nonviolent leaders like Dr. King with brain implants done against their will, to put them into mental institutions. I have this well documented at www.brainimplant.info. The FBI is also breaking into homes on a daily basis to conduct searches against people’s will and without a court warrant. They also are putting GPS tracking devices on people’s cars without their permission or a court order (see www.repealthepatriotact.org). With hundreds of thousands of documents and numerous covert surveillance operations done on Dr. King, why could the FBI have not worked on protecting the great civil rights leader, rather than assaulting him?

To the editor,

I propose the repeal of the Patriot Act (which is already unconstitutional) and the complete rebuilding of the intelligence community from the ground up, with transparency and public involvement at all possible levels and a powerful civil liberties review of ALL activities. The FBI was founded on tyranny and oppression, with its creator, Jay Edgar Hoover being a known terrorist. The entire agency needs to be eliminated, or we will all end up with brain implants and be marched to a Nazi war.

As we remember Martin Luther King Jr., we should also remember who failed to protect him from assassination on April 4, 1968. Dr. King would likely still be alive today had the FBI done their duty to protect him, instead of assault him with wiretaps, covert surveillance and hundreds of pages of documents about him that they gathered.

Being an author and scholar of Dr. Martin Luther King, I believe he would demand a massive reform and imprisonment of the terrorists in the police state that the United States has become. It is a police state that failed to protect him from harm, despite the massive number of death threats that he received, if they were not the ones who killed him.

Repeal the Patriot Act Before We All Have Brain Implants

Greetings, Imagine how much better our world Chad Kister Just wanted to let you know I’m would be, if Dr. King had not been Nelsonville, OH constantly frustrated attempting to shot, and his movement for justice read Outlook, and I’m not even 50. and peace and to end the war in are you reading this?

feb 2011

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feb 2011

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve made my choices and lived with them...

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The Story on Exile by Doug Maag With the recent demise of Tradewinds in November and Score Bar last month, the gay rumor mill is churning with speculation of which gay bar will be the next to go under the rainbow. Despite rumblings to the contrary, Exile owner Rob Wagner wants his customers and the rest of the gay community to know it won’t be his bar. On Feb 1st, Exile will still have a permit to operate as usual while Wagner appeals a recommendation by the Columbus City Council to not renew Exile’s liquor license. The bar was one of seven businesses City Council recommended for non-renewal in a December meeting, a meeting Wagner says was conducted without properly informing the permit holders of their renewal being in jeopardy, not to mention, on the agenda for that December meeting. The matter is now in front of the state liquor authorities and the appeals process could take years. “Someone is causing this undue attention in the attempt to close us down” said Wagner who employs between 15 and 20 people depending on the season. “There are always a few people (who) you aren’t going to be able to please.” The recent trouble for Exile began with investigations on August 27 and September 19, 2010 when an undercover investigator filed two reports of patrons engaged in public indecency. At least one of the incidents was allegedly videotaped. Wagner said the complaint alleged two patrons were involved in inappropriate adult behavior within the area permitted for liquor sales. According to the Ohio Department of Public Safety’s website, three men were cited for public indecency. outlookcolumbus.com

Wagner’s attorney Nate Gordon said in his 20 years of experience dealing with liquor law, he has never heard of liquor control officials running undercover operations five or six times in the matter of a few months, something they admitted to doing at a hearing in January. He stopped short of saying the investigation had homophobic undertones, but said he “stipulated to the facts” at the hearing. Gordon said Exile will receive an undetermined fine for the sexual misconduct violation, but the matter of the city’s recommendation to not renew the liquor license is another story. He said it could take years in the appeals process and Exile’s business should not be affected in the meantime. “If the city had a problem with (Exile) it would have been nice if the city had contacted and informed the permit holder of any issue, but they didn’t do that,” said Gordon. “Do I think one violation in a 3-year period is a reason for an objection (to a liquor license)? No.” Admittedly, the bar has a seedy past. Under previous ownership, the bar was cited several times for indecent behavior and liquor violations before Wagner bought it three years ago. According to the Ohio Division of Liquor Control’s website, there have been no other violations since he has owned the bar. Wagner said he instructs his employees to be observant of any inappropriate behavior of any type, not just inappropriate adult situations, but destructive or aggressive issues as well. “This will be a million dollar property when it’s all done,” said Wagner, who has physi-

cally done much of the $400,000 in building renovations himself. “It’s almost there now. If you consider the purchase price mortgage, extensive building renovations and equipment purchases, liquor license, and improvements on adjoining properties that are also a part of the Exile, it would certainly put us over a million.” In addition to his monetary investment, Wagner has an additional interest in keeping the neighbors happy – his home, which has been featured on the local home and garden tour, is located three houses away. He said he has never received a serious complaint against the existence of his business and all of the neighbors have access to his personal cell phone number they can call day or night. Being a member of Italian Village Society, Wagner wants to be a good neighbor and feels the increased foot traffic has made for a safer area of the village. “There hasn’t been anymore fatal gun fire near a neighboring liquor establishment since Exile has gained it’s popularity.” He along with near by residents, believe the increase in numbers of people walking to and from the business make for a safer neighborhood. Wagner said he hopes the current legal matter is resolved soon because he has further plans to continue renovations to the property. He is in contract to rehab three adjacent buildings along with the neighboring Sunset Lounge. In August of 2010, the auto body shop to the south was permitted for liquor in sales, Wagner is waiting for the outcome of the current City Council issues before going thru with any building permits for renovations to those adjoining properties and getting the occupancy permits required. He has a purchase option on another nearby property and had planned to renovate and refurbish all of them as he

Whatever happened to the rule of 3’s?

did with Exile. He admits to feeling a little picked on, considering the amount of money and personal effort he has invested in Exile, to make a positive change for the community. “I was a pioneer in investing in Italian Village, raising the bar to make things nicer, and now it’s like someone is out to get us and we don’t even know why,” said Wagner, pointing to an award from the Italian Village Commission in 2006 for the Most Improved Property. “The bar didn’t do anything wrong, it was two patrons acting inappropriately. How can you monitor everyone all time? You can’t. Everyone here is an adult and needs behave as a responsible adult and respect the liquor laws.” He said improving his property has also improved the Italian Village neighborhood. Many neighbors agree. Incidents like the homicide that took place near the neighboring Sunset Lounge just after he opened a couple of years ago are a thing of the past. There is a sense of community thru the patrons of the Exile. “Do they (city officials) want to hear people laughing, enjoying themselves and having fun, or do they want to hear the gunfire and helicopters and fear for their safety, that is now a thing of the past, partly due to Exile’s existence?” asked Wagner. Wagner said he would like to invite members of city council to tour Exile at their earliest convenience and see for themselves that it is not a seedy dive bar, but an inviting & welcoming local neighborhood hangout.

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New Jersey ANti-BullyiNg Bill of rights

for couples struggling with fertility issues. Fertility LifeLines can be accessed free of charge at: www.FertilityLifeLines.com.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie signed a landmark Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights into law. The legislation, passed almost unanimously by both houses of the state legislature in November, is the toughest state anti-bullying law in the country. The new law mandates specific anti-bullying procedures for schools across the state and also covers public universities.

Couples can receive a free copy of In The Know by registering at Family Building Options or by calling the toll-free hotline at 1866-LETS-TRY (1-866-538-7879).

New resources for sAme-sex couples lookiNg to stArt or Build their fAmilies Family building options have expanded for same-sex couples in recent years, in part because of increased fertility treatment options. Every family is different and no rules apply to all families and circumstances. According to the 2000 U.S. Census, there are approximately 600,000 same-sex couples in the United States and many samesex couples want the experience of having children. Are you one of them? If so, you may want to check out some new resources available for same-sex couples. The new ‘Family Building Options’ website offers information about assisted reproductive technology (ART) and other treatment options; a “Find a Fertility Specialist” tool; the ability to request an appointment or information from a fertility specialist or clinic; information about upcoming family-building events, donor program information, and other resources; and a new booklet, In The Know: What No One Tells You About Family Building Options for Same-Sex Couples, designed to provide same-sex couples with free resources to help them along their paths to parenthood. The booklet outlines options for couples based on their distinctive needs; educates them about their fertility and how to get help; provides questions to ask their specialist; and offers guidance in navigating payment and reimbursement. Fertility Lifelines, a free informational support service for couples sponsored by EMD Serono, provides an abundance of resources

feb 2011

glAAd demANds rAdio outlets resciNd Airtime to westBoro BAptist church The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) has called on the nationally syndicated Mike Gallagher Show, KXXT-AM in Tolleson, Arizona, and CFNY-FM, 102.1 “The Edge” in Toronto to rescind their offers to reward the Westboro Baptist Church with airtime. The radio outlets agreed to host the Westboro Baptist Church after it announced plans to picket the funeral of Christina Taylor Green, the nine-year-old girl tragically killed last weekend in Tucson. The group also called off additional plans to picket the funeral of U.S. District Judge John Roll after the Mike Gallagher Show, a nationally syndicated radio show reaching millions, offered the group a platform to, according to a Westboro spokesperson, “communicate its message with as wide an audience as possible.” According to The Los Angeles Times, the group had made no decisions about whether it would picket the four other victims’ funerals. “The promotion of the Westboro Baptist Church’s hateful vitriol has no place on our airwaves or at the funerals of these victims,” said GLAAD President Jarrett Barrios. “While countless media outlets around the country are properly paying tribute to the fallen, these radio outlets have decided to cave to blackmail tactics and reward one of our nation’s most anti-American groups,” Barrios continued. “Such action only incentivizes groups like Westboro with an opportunity to broadcast their hate to millions.” For more than 20 years, the Westboro Baptist Church has cynically and maliciously

exploited the suffering of countless brave and patriotic American families by protesting the funerals of innocent victims and fallen heroes. Westboro Baptist Church has held up signs at the funerals of fallen soldiers, saying “Thank God for IEDs,” “Pray for More Dead Soldiers” and “God Killed Your Son.” Before the families of victims of September 11th, they held up signs saying “Thank God for 9/11” and “God Hates America.” Westboro has picketed the funerals of hate crime victims with placards reading “God Wants Your Son Dead” and “God Hates Fags.” This week Westboro has reacted to the tragedy in Tucson with messages like “God Sent the Shooter.” GLAAD launched an online action for concerned community members and allies to send e-mails to the media outlets. The action had over 1,500 participants as the first morning. For more information: www.glaad.org/nowestboro.

the Nglcc wrAps up NAtioNAl BusiNess ANd ledership coNfereNce iN d.c. The National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC) has wrapped up its seventh annual National Business and Leadership Conference on a high note. The NGLCC saw record-breaking attendance numbers and stronger-than-ever support from policy makers and corporate partners. Attendance hit nearly 400 for the four-day conference in the nation’s capital, a whopping 60% jump over last year’s conference in Seattle, WA. Over 800 LGBT business owners, corporate partners and organizational allies attended the National Dinner on Friday. The conference offered robust programming designed to meet the interests and needs of LGBT business owners and entrepreneurs, allied companies and NGLCC affiliate chambers from around the country. Many policy makers and members of the Obama Administration also showed their support of the NGLCC’s work. A delegation of NGLCC members was invited to the White House on Wednesday to discuss ways in which the Administration can continue to support the LGBT community and create fur-

Who else can’t wait until ‘Pinko’ means gay business owner instead of communist?

ther economic opportunities for LGBT business owners. “The White House has been incredibly supportive of our work,” says Justin Nelson, cofounder and president of the NGLCC. “We’re so thrilled to have a partner in this administration that understands and values diversity.” During Wednesday evening’s welcome reception on Capitol Hill, Senator Al Franken spoke passionately of his support of LGBT rights, including a new anti-bullying bill he is co-sponsoring that would require colleges receiving federal money to include sexual orientation and gender identity and part of their anti-harassment policies. Karen Mills of the Small Business Administration (SBA), Rep. Tammy Baldwin and Rep. Jared Polis all discussed diversity and inclusiveness as well as important legislation like the Small Business Jobs Act and programs at the SBA that are available to help LGBT businesses at Thursday’s “A World of Opportunity” opening breakfast. Gary Locke, the U.S. Department of Commerce Secretary gave the NGLCC Champion of Enterprise keynote on Friday morning. Secretary Locke spoke about economic recovery, President Obama’s National Export Initiative and how LGBT businesses can benefit from becoming more actively involved in exporting. He also spoke of a new memorandum of understanding that he will sign shortly with the NGLCC to increase collaboration between the department and the organization around procurement, trade and other department priorities that are of interest to America’s small business community. Also in attendance were 120 plus NGLCC Corporate Partners, including IBM, Aetna, American Airlines, Ernst & Young, Hewlett Packard, Intel, JPMorganChase, Merck, AT&T, UPS, Wells Fargo and Hilton, to name a few. All promised to continue their commitment to diversifying their workplace, policies and supplier base. “It’s fantastic to see some of the world’s largest companies pledge their support to the LGBT community,” says Chance Mitchell, co-founder of the NGLCC. “They understand that diversifying their workforce and supplier base is not only morally and ethically sound, but is just solid business. “

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COMMUNITY RESOURCES SPONSORED BY MALCOLM RIGGLE & CMR INC.

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They don’t just do this for fun. Know your resources.

feb 2011

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small pond

“Life is Just a Cabaret, My Friend”

Shane Carpenter & Carpenter Productions by Jon Dunn On a cold Sunday night in north Columbus, Shane Carpenter is watching a group of dancers work through a routine. The room is filled with music and the sound of dance shoes meeting the floor. As the dancers finish the series of steps, he only has to look up without a word for the dancers to begin all over again. Shane is trying to put the finishing touches on these routines as he assembles the production with only a few short weeks to go before the curtain rises. “It’s a little bit of Cirque de Soleil, burlesque and vaudeville,” says Shane of his latest production, Le Cabaret, which debuts on February 18th at the Columbus Dance Theater. “I’m trying to make it beautiful without being trashy.” Shane found inspiration for Le Cabaret in the movie Burlesque, which he admits to seeing “more than few times! I thought it was great: the mood, the lighting and the performances were so inspiring,” he exclaims, then adds “I mean, I wasn’t looking at it for an Oscar-winning script, but it did give me some inspiration to work with.” In producing Le Cabaret, he wanted it to move away from exclusively Cirque de Soleil, vaudeville or burlesque themes towards a show that embraced aspects of each form. “I wanted an element of burlesque, not so much nudity, as much as being sexy without being sexual.”

newcomer to the entertainment business. In addition to Carpenter Productions, he is partner and Artistic Director for the national award-winning INFUSION Dance studio in Worthington. With all of the attention of dance and performance-oriented reality shows, Shane says that business for the studio has never been better, and that he’s watched a primarily girl-oriented business grow to include more boys learning dance in a variety of styles. “TV has definitely made an impact on this business, no doubt! In fact, we have competed against some of the groups that are on the Paula Abdul show. It’s exciting to see this interest in dance continue to grow.” The focus of Carpenter Productions is providing entertainment for parties large and small, ranging from “a small balloon party to a full-on stage show,” Shane explains. “We can do corporate events, birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs, you name it, any kind of event where you want to have some entertainment. We can provide a theme, characters, atmosphere, you name it. We can put the party together and keep the party going,” he says with a laugh. Even in a slow economic climate, Shane says that the business is “doing very well, we’re trying to keep up! I’m so lucky to be surrounded by amazing people who enjoy what they do with a passion.” Between the studio and the production company, Shane can be stretched a little thin, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. His drive and passion for what he does is propelled by a dream that he had to realize for himself.

Helping to embrace the vaudeville theater ambiance are local favorites Nina West and Pretty PuNasty, who are serving as ringmasters, “not so much as Master of Ceremonies, but more like characters in the production who are leading the audience through the show,” explains Shane. In addition to the dance numbers, the show also features some local talent, such as Christina Basham, whom Shane calls an “undiscovered local talent, with a beautiful voice,” and singer-songwriter Josh Blankenberg, who’ll be performing some original songs on guitar. “Josh did some great shows at Wall Street, and I really wanted him to be in Le Cabaret,” Shane says, adding that “I wanted a variety of acts, not just dance numbers. We also have a vaudeville magician performing sleight of hand tricks and the big “Sawing The Lady In Half” routine. He does it to big band swing music, which is great.”

“I grew up in West Virginia in a very strict, religious family,” he explains. “I loved dance but in my family, dancing was not an option for a boy.” Not to be deterred by a stifling home life, Shane made a decisive move that changed his life. “When I was old enough to drive, I packed the car and drove all the way to Florida to audition for Disney.” After joining the Disney family, he was able to make a call to his parents in West Virginia and tell them “I’m in Florida, I just got cast with Disney and I will be coming home in two weeks to get my things and move down here.” He did just that and remained a cast member in Mickey Mania & Main Street Summer Celebration at the Florida destination point for about a year. (If you meet Shane, ask him which Disney characters he had to play!)

Though Carpenter Productions is a new enterprise, Shane is no

“It’s been a path,” Shane says, adding that during that time period (the 90s), it was “much easier for a boy to get a gig because

feb 2011

We here at Outlook love dancers of all kinds. Modern, ballet, exotic…

there was far less competition! You could be an ‘OK’ boy dancer and get the spot because there weren’t many boys trying out. It was much more difficult for the girls because there was so much more competition.” He followed the Disney gig by working with Nickelodeon’s Megamessa Mania, then a longer stint at Paramount’s King’s Island where he danced “six shows a day, six days a week,” in the Entertainment Tonight Special Edition Live during the season. In the off-season, he continued to train and teach. He also appeared in MTV’s My Super Sweet Sixteen and other shows. The experience and rigorous routines of the productions gave him insight on how to stage shows while sharpening his skills as a dancer, teacher, and later, as his own producer. These skills served Shane well as he began to take on work beyond dancing. He spent time coaching and choreographing the Columbus Destroyers Bombshells cheerleading squad when the AFL football league played here in town. He also choreographed a season opening game for the Cleveland Cavaliers. Yet teaching others to dance remains his passion, as he has guided so many of his students to realize their dream of dancing or even to careers in entertainment. “I have kids all over the place; dancers, producers, all in different areas of entertainment, many of them are very successful, too,” he offers. I am so proud of every one of them.” Even as his career continues to rise as a producer and teacher, Shane still feels the pull to perform. “In fact,” he explains, “as I was developing one of the routines for Le Cabaret, I found myself drawn into the dancing and I eventually became part of the number,” he adds, laughing. “So, I will be up there performing, even if it’s just for a little while.” Le Cabaret brings the many facets of Shane’s talents together in one production and the effect is not lost on him. “It’s crazy to gain acceptance to gain acceptance through applause,” Shane admits, “but it’s so addictive! It’s the ultimate natural high!” Le Cabaret debuts on February 18th at Columbus Dance Theater, 529 E. Main Street with a 7:30 p. performance, followed by a 7:30 performance on the 19th and a Sunday matinee on the 20th at 3p. Tickets are available at TORSO (614.421.7663) on N. High Street for $12 and $10 for students. For more information, visit carpenterproductions.org.

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LOW (od

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Subscribe. Get free T-shirt. Leave T-shirt on a strangerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s floor. Ah, the circle of advertising.

feb 2011

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feb 2011

Anyone have a farmer fetish?

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by Michael Daniels

Advocacy for the Gay & Grey AARP Offers Benefits, Resources for GLBT Seniors

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• Social stigma – often shunned by gay people because they are old For this issue, we wanted to make (our Pride Comes in All Ages efforts sure that one of the largest organiza- are intended to reinforce the value tions in the world that focuses on is- and contributions of 50+ LGBT peosues of aging was well represented, ples within the gay community), and and we didn’t have to look too far. We discriminated against by straight reached out to Kevin Craiglow, Asso- people because they are gay; ciate State Director of Public Out• Bigotry – when dependent on reach at the American Association of the health-care system, home care or Retired Persons (AARP) to find out long-term care, LGBT 50+ are often what that organization does and get faced with fear, ignorance and unsome specifics on their GLBT outjust or inequitable treatment. reach and resources. On a national level, let me just highMichael Daniels: We’ve all seen or light some policies AARP supports heard of AARP, but tell us in a nut- that could help address preventable shell what the organization is and negative outcomes: what it does. Kevin Craiglow: AARP is a social • Anti-discrimination laws to inchange organization with a diverse clude sexual identity, so that same and growing membership. Through- sex couples can be housed together out our history, AARP has been dein assisted living facilities and nursvoted to improving quality of life for ing homes; all people as they age and to bring • Amending Medicaid laws to about a society where 50+ can fully provide same-gender partners with participate without discrimination. all the financial protections afforded We affect meaningful social change to opposite-sex community spouses; at the community, state and national • Programs and policies that perlevels. mit people in kinship care situations and others with an insurable interest Our founder, Dr. Ethel Percy Andrus, in the pensioner to share in, or resaid, “What we do, we do for all.” ceive, survivor benefits from private And what we do is help people, inpensions. cluding every ethnicity and sexual orientation or gender expression, to MD: What is AARP’s relationship chart their course through some with SAGE (Services and Advocacy “ageless realities.” for GLBT Elders www.sageusa.org)? MD: What are some of the special KC: AARP and LGBT organizations needs of GLBT seniors? like SAGE are often aligned when it KC: We all have common concerns: comes to fighting for personal and Will we outlive our money? Will we be legal rights for the LGBT community able to maintain independence, – rights that will allow LGBT people choice and control? Will we be cared to age with dignity and respect. for by loved ones or by strangers? Will we become increasingly invisiWe worked with SAGE NY to launch a ble, isolated and ignored? Public Benefit Outreach project in New York City. This ongoing project Many of these concerns are height- has helped lesbian, gay, bisexual ened among LGBT 50+ because of and transgender people enroll in fedunequal treatment under the law; ef- eral and state public benefit profective protection of assets and con- grams that can enhance their trol of personal and partner health financial security. decisions are difficult, costly and not always enforced as intended. AARP was also the major sponsor of SAGE’s 4th annual conference on But another concern is all of the pre- LGBT aging. We were also very inventable negative outcomes. The volved in developing programming older LGBT population is at particular for that conference, and have highrisk for isolation/depression, neglect, lighted their work on AARP Radio, substance abuse, unnecessary insti- and collaborated with them for an In tutionalization, and as a conseThe Life spot. Additionally, AARP Colquence, premature death. There are orado has begun to develop a workmultiple contributing factors, including relationship with SAGE in ing: Colorado.

Stonewall Columbus; their annual PRIDE event is an ideal opportunity to share information about the changing landscape for 50+ and to listen and learn about concerns from those who are 50+ LGBT. AARP Ohio has been a supporting sponsor and exhibitor at Columbus PRIDE for the last three years and this past year was our first at Cleveland PRIDE. Aging is not exclusive to any segment of our population. LGBT men and women are not immune from some of the most significant concerns we have as we age – caring for older parents, siblings or partners; income security; an ability to define retirement on our terms; adequate and respectful care in an assisted living facility or other skilled nursing facility; and other issues. For the last six years we’ve sought to inform our work (to increase our awareness and relevance) with diverse members through a series of community efforts, like the PRIDE events. We’ve also hosted more than 25 community listening sessions with diverse audiences. AARP also participates in PRIDE events, and other LGBT-oriented events, in many other cities, including Washington DC, Indianapolis, Boston, Denver, Charlotte, Raleigh/Durham, Chicago, Houston, Olympia and Seattle. MD: How can people find out more information about AARP, its programs, and local resources, specifically those for GLBT seniors? KC: More information is available at www.aarp.org/pride and at AARP’s online community group for LGBT and allies, at www.aarp.org/AARPPrismNetwork. We also aim to include programming for our LGBT attendees at our annual member event each year. Your readers can find more information on these events at www.aarp.org/events.

Additionally, AARP’s conference, Diversity@50+: The Power of Inclusion, is designed to address the wants, needs and aspirations of diverse populations age 50+. The conference provides information and highlights best practices on these key essential issues that concern diverse 50+ communities. It brings together thought leaders – service providers, practitioners, researchers, policymakers, community leaders and • Lack of traditional family sup- MD: We noticed you in last year’s other stakeholders – to engage and port – according to SAGE, as many Columbus PRIDE parade and with a present leading-edge data. The conas 70% of those 55 and older in the booth at the PRIDE festival. How ference will be held June 13-14, LGBT community are living alone was that experience, and do you 2011, at the Hilton Baltimore. with no children or partner to care for plan to be regulars? them; KC: We appreciate the efforts of

To their credit, only a few of the fifty-odd places we called hung up on us.

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The Bombast and the Body Count by Wayne Besen While the world focused on the tragic Arizona shootings, another horrific crime took place in New York City. The New York Post reported today that a Portuguese male model tortured and murdered his “sugar daddy” in a Manhattan hotel. For more than an hour, Renato Seabra, 20, beat Carlos Castro, 65, before he castrated the older fashion journalist with a wine corkscrew. Seabra said he murdered the journalists “to get rid of Castro’s homosexual demons”. The suspect then declared, “I’m not gay anymore!” Like the Arizona assassin, Jared Loughner, there is no doubt that Renato Seabra is profoundly disturbed. However, that does not absolve those who placed the dangerous idea that homosexuality is attributable to demons in Seabra’s head. Where might he have gotten such a notion? We can start with the “ex-gay” organization Exodus International, where its President, Alan Chambers, once wrote, “One of the many evils this world has to offer is the sin of homosexuality. Satan, the enemy, is using people to further his agenda to destroy the Kingdom of God and as many souls as he can.” Chambers also told a crowd of social conservatives, “We have to stand up against an evil agenda. It is an evil agenda and it will take anyone captive that is willing, or that is standing idly by.”

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Given this harsh rhetoric, it is understandable that an unbalanced individual distressed about his sexual orientation might resort to violence. After all, Chambers clearly states that homosexuality is evil and then offers a remedy, which is to “stand up” against the perceived evil spirits and not stand “idly by”. In Jeff Sharlet’s latest book, C Street: The Fundamentalist Threat to American Democracy, a Ugandan man justifies supporting the death penalty for gay people because, “They” - the gays - “are trying to end the human race.” His comments sound strikingly similar to Focus on the Family’s founder James Dobson, who once told The Daily Oklahoman newspaper that same-sex marriage will “destroy the earth.” This week, Pentecostal preacher Cindy Jacobs warned that the repeal of Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell has caused God’s wrath, including the “potential that there is something that actually happened in the land where a hundred thousand drum fish died and also where these birds just fell out of the air.” It is irrelevant whether Sebra or Loughner were directly influenced by the “spiritual warfare” of these preachers or the Tea Party’s vitriol. What matters is that the constant demonizing of certain groups of people - whether minorities, liberals, or employees of the federal government - sets the stage for bloody reprisals.

Social conservatives would likely counter that sanguinary acts come from the hands of deranged individuals. Technically, this is true however public figures generally understand that a small percentage of their audience is unhinged from reality. So, providing fiery rhetoric that can incite mentally ill people to take criminal actions is grossly irresponsible and an abdication of moral leadership. A perfect example of this disconnect is Rush Limbaugh. Even as he defended right wing extremists today from accusations that their rhetoric led to the Arizona massacre, blogger Jim Burroway provided a photograph of a Limbaugh promotional billboard in Tucson painted with bullet holes and the headline, “Straight Shooter.” Such violent imagery was in line with Sarah Palin’s infamous graphic targeting vulnerable Democratic legislative districts with crosshairs. As we now know, critically wounded Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) was one of the legislators in Palin’s gun sights. Unfortunately, the media tries to draw a moral equivalence between the rhetoric of the left and right, which is inaccurate and unhelpful. This bogus media attempt at “balance” obfuscates the reality that the vast majority of alarming rhetoric comes from Republicans and Tea Party adherents. The root of the problem is people like Sarah Palin who say, “Don’t retreat - instead reload.” It is people like Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) that in-

At least Outlook’s messages are subliminal and hidden at the bottom of each page.

flame old passions by hinting at secession. It is the Republican Party that wins power by attacking immigrants, bashing Muslims, and using anti-gay marriage amendments to drive voters to the polls. It is House Speaker John Boehner and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell who allowed the healthcare bill to be portrayed as a step toward communism. It is former House Majority Leader Dick Armey who helped organize the bitter Town Hall healthcare meetings designed to intimidate legislators. It is the GOP that disrespects the office of the President by acting as though Bill Clinton and Barack Obama lack legitimacy. My intent is not to say that most Republicans are bigots, nor are I implying that the names I’ve mentioned are directly responsible for causing deaths. However, they have soured the political climate in America by consistently catering to bigots, pandering to religious extremists, serving as apologists for militia kooks, and entertaining the wild fantasies of sick conspiracy theorists. Instead of restoring sanity, they have treated these crackpots as if they were legitimate, even respected, constituencies. It is time America stops living in denial and considers the possibility that over-the-top bombast may lead to a body count. Wayne Besen is Founder & Executive Director of Truth Wins Out, a non-profit organization that fights anti-gay religious extremism. For more info: www.truthwinsout.org

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When will we have the seminal Who’s Who of Who’s Who?

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Seven Years to Live* by Regina Sewell Cash your dreams before they slip away Dying all the time Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind The Rolling Stones – Ruby Tuesday The last column, Money, Myths and Madness, described how your beliefs about money keep you trapped in debt, disconnected from yourself and others and/or drowning in meaninglessness. This column helps you use your life dreams to find financial freedom and live a meaningful life. You may be thinking, “I can’t live my life dreams until I get my financial act together, so what’s the point of thinking about them?” My answer is that even if you get your beliefs about money sorted out, this approach will keep you stuck. Your life dreams are the forces that will give you the motivation and determination to change your relationship with money and get your financial life and priorities in order. On one hand, change can be hard, scary, frustrating and/or overwhelming. On the other, as dysfunctional as your current patterns around money may be, they are working for you somehow. If you don’t have a positive incentive to change, you’re likely to fall back into the old patterns. In Money, Myths and Madness, I encouraged you to explore your dreams - to “dream and dream big” about what you really want to do with your life and to make a list of what came up. If you made that list, take a moment to look at it. If you didn’t make that list, make it now. When you’ve reviewed or written your list, give yourself 15 or 20 minutes to ponder the following situation. Imagine that you just found out that you have seven years to live. You will get to live a full, vibrant life during those seven years, but sometime during the seventh year, you are going to die. Take a breath and let this notion settle in. Let yourself feel both the weight of your “death sentence” and the freedom it gives you to change. How do you want to spend your remaining seven years of life? What changes do you want to make? What do you need to do in order to feel like you lived a meaningful, fulfilling life? This is a heavy question. Give yourself time to think about the questions and write down your answers.

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The next step is to screen out the obligations and demands. Make a three-column table. At the top write: 1) Heart and Soul; 2) Icing on the Cake; and 3) Should. In the Heart and Soul column, write in all those dreams, longings and desires - the things you’d like to do or accomplish before you die – things you’d regret on your last day if you didn’t do them. In the Icing on the Cake column, write those things that are more like desert – the things that you’d like to do before you die but that wouldn’t cause you incredible despair if you didn’t do them. Finally, in the Should column, write down all those things that you feel obligated to do or be. When you’ve filled in each of the columns, take a moment to review your table. You might see that you’ve put travel, vacations and luxury items or resort homes in the Icing on the Cake column and issues related to practical issues like work, saving money, paying taxes and taking care of family in the Should column. You might also notice that there are things in the Should list that suck your soul dry or leave you feeling resentful. Resentment often stems from a sense that you don’t have a choice. This is not true. The options may all suck but you always have a choice, even if the choice is as narrow as deciding how you will frame an issue or situation. If you are ready to stop living in resentment, take a moment to consciously make choices about the items on this list and take back your power. First ask yourself if you really have to do them. For example, do you really have to go to all of your family functions if they make you miserable or drive you to drink? Do you really have to work as an accountant if you want to shoot yourself every morning on the way to work? Do your children really need to go to private school? Do you really need to drive a Lexus? As you look at your Should list, you are probably saying, “Yes, I have to do this.” If so, ask yourself what the payoff is. For example, what would you lose or risk if you decided not to go to a family function? What do you think would happen if you quit your job, didn’t send your kids to private school, or drove a Camry instead of a Lexus? Next, get out a piece of paper, and for every item on your Should list that leaves you feeling drained or resentful, write, “I choose to

___________________.*” If you find yourself arguing or resisting this statement, change the sentence to “I choose to ________________ because I want ___________________________.” So, for example, you might write, “I choose to go to family functions because I want to stay connected to them. “ The reality is that if you get blitzed at your family functions, you are not connecting with them. Perhaps you can find a different way to connect with your family, maybe in smaller, less chaotic gatherings or dinners. Or you might write, “I choose to keep working as an accountant because I need money and it’s the only thing I know how to do.” Perhaps you can look at your Heart and Soul list and see if there is something on that list that you can someday transition into or that will make working as an accountant feel worthwhile. If, for example, you love to act, but at this time, don’t think it will pay the bills, you might reframe your situation to acknowledge that by being an accountant, for now, helps or will help you live your deeper life dream. Or, perhaps the issue isn’t the task but the environment you work in. Perhaps you could find a different way or a different place to use your accountant skills. Finally, your Heart and Soul column should connect you to your deeper longings. When you’ve written down everything that is truly important to you, go back and prioritize the items on your list. What is most important to you to do before you run out of time? What life dreams would you most regret not fulfilling? If you put everything from owning a Porche, to redoing your kitchen, to wowing an audience with your best Madonna impersonation, to going to Pride in Sydney Australia, you list is out of whack. You need to sort a little deeper. If you still can’t limit your list to a doable size, you might need to work with a counselor or a life coach to help you sort the Icing on the Cake items out of your Heart and Soul column. The items in your Heart and Soul column are your life goals. Now that you’ve gotten your Heart and Soul column tweeked to a place that you feel satisfied, you’re ready to tackle the financial piece of living your dreams. This is where the gritty work begins. You need to calculate your assets relative to your debt to determine your net

It’s also fun to plan what fantastic way you’ll die – I’m going out on a stunt motorcycle.

worth. Next, map out your current monthly cash flow. How much money do you have going out relative to the money you have coming in? This means filling out an expense chart. You need to map out all of your monthly bills – rent or mortgage, insurance, utilities, cell phone, internet and cable bills, gym fees, – every bill that regularly comes or that is automatically deducted from your bank account. Next, map out your daily expenses. (You will probably need to track this for a month or two to get a handle on your spending patterns. Keep track of every purchase you make, meaning record every tank of gas, cup of Starbucks, bottle of Fiji, lottery ticket and ATM charge. You also need to record how much you spend on groceries, music, gifts, beer, wine, movies, breakfast, lunch, and dinner out, candy bars, alcohol, clothing, pot, cell phone apps and ring tones…. In other words, you are keeping track of every penny you spend. The best way to do this is to get a software program (for example: Quicken) or a workbook (for example: Tracking Your Expenses: A Workbook…). You may be surprised at how much you spend and on what. You might realize that you spend a fortune at Starbucks, Chipotle, UDF or Barnes and Nobles. It could occur to you that you could save a lot of money if you packed your own lunch or breakfast or ditched the Dasani and carried your own water in a trendy new BPA free bottle. Then next step is to figure out how to pay off the debt and start investing. A good financial advisor will help you do this so that you can actually afford to live your dreams. They can help you use your assets, weed out unnecessary expenses and understand financial things like the Dow Jones Industrial Average, the NASDAQ, and the S&P 500 and manage your money in a way that works for you. Your dreams are the goals that will give you the incentive to follow their advice and get your financial house in order. *Based on Seven Stages of Money Maturity (George Kinder) and Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg). To ask Regina a question, propose a column topic, read about her approach to counseling, or check out her books and other writing, go to: www.ReginaSewell.com . Her most recent publication, “Sliding Away” can be found in Knowing Pains: Women on Love, Sex and Work in Our 40s, edited by Molly Rosen.

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Welcome to the organic gun show.

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Vacationing in Family Land by Mette Bach My friend Elaine – she’s more than that: chosen family, honorary sister, person who gets me the most in this world – had a baby last February. This immediately made me ‘Auntie Mette’. Since Elaine lives in Toronto with her husband, I didn’t get to see their baby until they came out west in the summer. I was nervous about it since I’m not exactly fond of babies as a general rule. In fact, I go to great lengths to avoid babies and I always have. I’ll cross the street to avoid an encounter with an SUV-inspired baby stroller. When groups of people coo over babies, I bolt. Even my doctor laughed at how much birth control I used back when I was sleeping with men. Like I said, I’ve gone to great lengths to baby-proof my life. All that changed when I met my little niece. It’s the oldest cliché in the book. Everyone says you feel differently when it’s your own. I felt differently when it was as close to my own as I’d get. In fact, after I visited the family in Toronto for the first time later on in the summer, I vowed to be a part of my niece’s life. It’s a lot of work being a new parent. Everyone will tell you that. It’s a huge transition and it’s extremely taxing on the body to have to provide for someone else’s needs constantly, particu-

feb 2011

larly if that little someone doesn’t want to let you sleep or even have a moment of rest. It’s easy to feel for first time parents.

hope in unconventional queer families but even still, I actively rejected anything that felt like a Hallmark card.

But it’s also a lot of work being single and queer. As much as I love my life, sometimes I want a vacation from it. For this reason, and because of my vow, I decided that I would spend the holidays in heterosexual family land, visiting the three people that I think of as kin.

What I was in for was the kind of life lesson that makes everything click. All the pieces fell into place perfectly. Spending time with my baby niece forced me to live in the moment. It wasn’t a choice. It was reality. She cries when she’s upset or needs something or wants attention. And she laughs and smiles when she’s happy or doesn’t need anything or want attention. I think she’s perfect and I finally understand how other people think their babies are perfect, too. Because they are. It was a good lesson for me to remember that we all came from that perfect condition, that tabula rasa state.

Unlike everything I imagined, I had the best time I’ve had in a long time. Why did I not think I would? I thought it would be a culture shock. Before I went, I actually thought I was making a sacrifice. After all, at home, I had parties to go to and a new crush and my quiet apartment. If I’d felt like it, I could have de-cluttered, redecorated or had a fling. So many opportunities! In Toronto, I realized that I had created a life that didn’t include babies because I was afraid of having one. I saw the sacrifices my parents made for me and made a conscious decision, dating back to when I was still playing with dolls, that I didn’t want that life for myself. I didn’t want everything that came with it. For as long as I remember, the white picket fence fantasy that permeates North American culture was a dystopian nightmare. Families were synonymous with giving up dreams and settling for status quo. Maybe there was some

What I love about my niece is that she doesn’t care about politics or identities or any of the common barriers that keep people apart. She doesn’t care about the stuff I care about. The only thing she wants from people other than her parents is that they smile. If they do that, if they complete that one simple act of making eye contact with her and smiling, she blesses them with the sweetest little laugh. Sometimes, she even claps her hands together or shakes her fist around because she’s trying to wave but can’t quite control her movements yet. There is nothing more simple than that.

It’s better than pretending to be single when you’re on vacation from your family!

It goes without saying that I love my new auntie status. What I appreciate even more is that nothing else in my life changes. This is a gift with no strings attached. This is a purely positive experience. I spent my life avoiding babies because I knew I didn’t want one. The idea of getting close to one seemed risky because of all the loaded statements people make, the confusing conclusions we’re all in danger of making. I grew up with all those assumptions about getting married and having kids and winding up bitter and resentful so I had a lot of defensiveness. I had to prove to the world that it was okay to not want to pursue that path. Now, in my mid-thirties and having entirely rejected those pursuits, I’m free to enjoy this miraculous little human being who likes to snuggle with me and fall asleep in my arms. I’m finally free to live my life exactly as I want it while also experiencing a love so unconditional that it blows my mind. I love my little niece more than I thought it was possible to love another human being. She’s has already taught me so much about happiness and simplicity and love. Strip away the symbolism and a baby is just a baby. My niece is a little treasure and I’m so proud to be her auntie.

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Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been known to have six solos in one day...

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Isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Mr . Fields new photo sexy.

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10 IMPORTANT TRANSGENDER TRENDS IN ‘10 by Dr. Sherman Leis

2) Growing acceptance of Gender Identity Disorder (GID) as a credible medical condition, instead of mistaking it to be a psychological disorder or perversion.

Dr. Sherman Leis, founder of The Philadelphia Center for Transgender Surgery, a preeminent resource for transgender surgery and medical support in the United States, believes that 2010 was a watershed year for the transgender community. Although still a long way from becoming totally accepted within the multi-cultural fabric that is our society, 2010 has seen a growing trend in that direction. There are ten important trends that have taken hold or gained momentum in 2010, according to Dr. Sherman Leis. The trends are:

4) The transgender community is gaining momentum to stand on its own and getting out from under the umbrella of the gay and lesbian community, except when it comes to fighting for human rights and dignity.

1) A growing number of female-to-male (FTM) transitions. Once only thought to be the province of males transitioning to females (MTF), a recent study showed that the transitioned male and female populations will equal each other within the next five years.

5) The U.S. is becoming a world center for transgender surgery as more trans patients from around the world are coming here for surgery. Although Asia and Europe still perform more trans surgeries overall, the growth trend is in favor of the United States.

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3) More conventional healthcare insurance policies are including transgender surgery and health needs in coverage, regardless of whether Obamacare is implemented or not.

6) More seniors are having transgender surgery. As society becomes more accepting, more seniors are making the commitment to realize their lifelong dream. (See clip on the “World’s Oldest Transgender”, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge9Y 6HHU65U).

like cellular dermal matrix products, will continue to make transgender surgery safer, with more realistic and functional results.

7) The most commonly performed surgical procedure for Male-To-Female transgender patients continues to be genital reassignment, although facial feminization procedures are a close second.

Dr. Sherman Leis is one of the world’s pre-eminent transgender surgeons and founder of The Philadelphia Center For Transgender Surgery, in Bala Cynwyd, PA. It is recognized as one of the leading facilities in the world specializing in gender reassignment surgery. It was founded to be a single source of information and expertise in medical care for the transgender. The Philadelphia Center For Transgender Surgery offers a uniquely supportive environment where one can connect with Dr. Leis’ surgical and non-surgical team of dedicated specialists - surgeons, psychologists, endocrinologists, aestheticians, speech therapists, legal experts, and others. The Philadelphia Center For Transgender Surgery is located in suburban Philadelphia at 19 Montgomery Avenue, Bala Cynwyd, PA 19004. Phone: 610-667-1888. Website: www.thetransgendercenter.com.

8) The most commonly performed surgical procedure for Female-To-Male transgender patients is breast removal and masculinization of the chest. 9) New medical innovations, such as micro surgery, the harmonic scalpel, radio-wave surgery, improved flap techniques and new bio-medical materials

You think you’re brave? Talk to a trans person.

10) Trans people are becoming more accepted into pop culture, ads, TV shows, music, politics etc.

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Gen-Drunk: The View from Behind Bars by Mickey Weems

“Grandparents raising kids,” added Marvel.

Columbus, Ohio is a great place to watch the Gay community undergo shifts over time.

Besides the way young people are raised, Bobby and Marvel mentioned how the new generation does not have the same experience of oppression as the older ones. “Being Gay is a fad for them,” said Bobby. The rapidly changing face of technology has not only made the generation gap wider, but also made it shorter in terms of age differences. “There used to be a gap between twenty year olds and thirty year olds,” said Marvel. “Now it’s between twenty year olds and twenty-four year olds.”

No surprise, since Cowtown is famous as a metro-petri dish to test new products. California and New York have the latest crazy avantegard trends, and we can always count on Texas to give us vintage American freakshow conservative backlash. But Central Ohio is the fulcrum between the extremes; a place where the sure bet is ideal. For the Gay community, the result is a city with bars and restaurants catering to us that rival anything on either coast. And Columbus is a city that loves her liquor, a place where skilled bartenders can make serious bank on a good weekend. More often than not, weekends are good for the bar business regardless of weather. And there is no night of the week where people, Gay or Straight, agree to completely abstain. This issue is on aging in the Gay community got me thinking about the relationship between our elders and our youth. And who better to ask about the generation gap, then those that see the mix of generations daily: our bartenders. In a business that caters to several generations of LGBT clientele seven nights out of seven, bartenders would be especially aware of any differences. Bobby and Marvel Responses to my queries were lopsided. Almost everything said was about the younger generation rather than the older, and general consensus was the young ‘uns are spoiled. Said Bobby Au, mixologist extraordinaire at Havana, “When they stopped the whuppin’s at school, that’s when it all changed.”

I cautioned Bobby and Marvel that every older generation in my experience considered their younger peers to be irresponsible, flighty, and clueless. But he and Marvel assured me the new batch is different. They have less respect for authority. I can see why. So many of our queer youth in Ohio come from conservative families, whose parents live for the wisdom of Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter. It is all too easy for these kids to pretend to listen to their elders, all the while preparing ways to mock the Old Guard when they rejoin their peers. They have even less patience for Log Cabin types. And it is easy for them to dismiss Stonewall Democrats as well, considering the slow pace that the former Democratic-majority Congress did anything for LGBT rights. Their disdain, however, does not necessarily bespeak astute awareness of societal ills. Political issues in general are less important than the latest fads in social media. “I feel like today’s youth doesn’t care as much as generations previous,” observed Marvel. “We are basically fighting Vietnam Part II [Afghanistan] and instead of protesting in the streets, we sign up for Facebook pages to get Betty White on Saturday Night Live.”

His partner in crime, David “Marvel” Sollars, brought up the harsh realities of living in an extended recession: “There is nothing for them to look forward to.” Having no clear idea of their future, the very young adults (between 21 and 25) are constantly “throwing caution to the winds,” said Bobby, who then summed up the unstable family background from which many of them come:

Listen to rapid-fire conversations between youngest adults and it’s obvious that the plentitude of means for communication has affected their casual conversation patterns. Few tell stories - it is much more important to throw in a witty comment in a roundtable of occasionally brilliant verbal dexterity. As with the music of Lady Gaga, performance trumps content.

“Kids raising kids,” said Bobby.

I’ve seen such reparté in the previous shortlived klub kid generation, the one fueled by crystal meth that overshadowed Gen X (and G

feb 2011

and K) with its Circuit party fetish. The Generation of That Bitch Tina was shut down in Gay ghettos across the USA by legal interventions such as Operation Dark Star in Ohio a few years back, as well as, harm reduction campaigns within the LGBT community. I doubt seriously that crystal is responsible this time for verbal flightiness, which leads me to conclude that social media are the new addictive substances. This adds a whole new meaning to “buzzwords,” doesn’t it? Perhaps the new GenDrunk’s adoration of alcohol is simply due to the effect of beer and liquor forcing their infooverloaded brains to slow down.

10 years his senior. We see the reduced presence of Circuiteers on the dance floor as well, yet there is a resurgence of sorts. After a brief absence, shirtless guys are becoming a regular feature in our clubs once again, but nowhere near the numbers that there used to be. I suspect this is a consequence of the younger Gay male generation’s lack of obsession with having a muscular body. This lack, of course, leads to its own insecurities. Proof is in the fact that the average stripper has not changed much in physique over the last 15 years. Muscle is still a powerful magnet, regardless of how many men have the drive to obtain it for themselves.

Derek and Rockelle There are many venues for the generations to meet for drinks in Columbus: Club Diversity, Trafik, Level, Axis and others. One such spot that tilts heavily toward twinkling bois and baby-dykes is Union, a place that is regularly flooded with the 21-25 year old crowd after the dinner crowd leaves. Union is the workplace of Derek Schulte, a bartender who juggles bottles and glasses with the sure-handed competence of an athlete-gone-showman. Unlike Bobby and Marvel, however, Derek focused on the older generation and how their ways are giving way to different sensibilities. The old lines between gender, men and women, and Straight and Gay of the past are falling to the wayside, says Derek. But even more telling: “Showtunes sing-along is bigger for the older generation, even though Glee is bringing it back for the new generation,” he said. “Also, the Circuit has really faded.”

Rockelle Pace also tends bar at Union. Her combination of competence and keen observation of the humanity around her is the reason why I give her the last word among her professional peers: “In the newer generation, we have come together as one, where the older generation was more divided between Gay men and Lesbians. Now look… we play softball together!” I have seen this unity for myself. It is as if the bad blood between dick suckers and carpet munchers has disappeared in the dazzling array of stud/nerd/princess/jock/hi-maintenance identities among our beautiful young. For Gen-Drunk born-women and born-men, the butch/femme dichotomy is only a starting point for self-expression in which all are welcome if they do not take themselves too seriously. But is there room in that togetherness for the older generation? Or does the older generation even care if they are included? Conclusion

I agreed with Derek, but I’m not sure that either showtune nights or Circuit parties are in serious jeopardy. I mentioned that the Circuit has downsized because it is a niche market for guys over 30 with money, a fact that was just as true 15 years ago as it is today, only there are fewer guys with a lot of expendable income. Once again, we can see the effect of the economy on our festive culture, as there are currently not as many people of any age with money anywhere in our great country. Derek concurred with me as to why there are not more young people in the Circuit: as much as he loves massive parties like the White Parties, Black and Blue, Winter Party and Gay Days, he finds himself the younger man among men who on average are

That’s right. Every time you thought a bartender was judging you, they were.

The bartenders with whom I spoke are neither twinks nor elders. Because of the status associated with bartending, it is unusual to find a very young adult bartender in a hot bar during a hot time slot. The youngest workers tend to be waiter/esses, servers, and barbacks. There are at least two more perspectives in the bar-club scene to explore on the issue of generations: that of older workers and the owners at the Olympus of the social ladder, and the energetic young people that do the ground-floor grunt work necessary so all our generations can raise their glasses together, in their own safe spaces and in their own queer fashion. outlookcolumbus.com

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outlookcolumbus.com

Noka Davers and her female illusionists are a traveling band of gothic magicians. Drag is their day job.

feb 2011

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana

Fiery Foods Weekend @ North Market

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 5:00 PM Super Bowl Party @ Cavans 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana

30 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana

Sunday

Bars-Clubs

Networking

Special Events

US Holidays

… Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 9:00 PM God-des & She @ Wall Street 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

and 2 more…

She's A Boy I Knew…ateway Film Center

President's Day

… Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

Valentine's Day

… Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

… Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

Monday

February 2011

26-27_Calendar 1/25/11 11:25 AM Page 1

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

Washington's Birthday

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 10:30 AM Farmer's Market @ 33 N 3rd 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

9:00 AM BNI Group One-to-Ones @ Panera Bread (Bethel) 9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 7:00 PM Robyn @ LC Pavillion 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 7:30 PM Drumline Live @ Palace The! ater 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile

Tuesday

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:30 PM Dralion @ The Schott 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

Groundhog Day

Wednesday

30 31

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ Club D 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM I Am My Own Wife @ Verne Ri"e Center 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ Club D 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 7:30 PM The Naked Truth @ Shadow! box 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ Club D 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik

Thursday

S 9 10 11 12

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM DJ Fierce Tease @ Axis 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Vox: One Hit Wonders @ Cbus Performing Arts Center 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Riverdance @ Palace Theater 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM Cheech & Chong @ Palace Theater 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM Fusion Friday @ Capital Uni! versity 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Fierce Tease @ Axis

Friday

F 4

S 5 9 10 11 12

Saturday

27 28 29 30 31

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8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St

8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis

8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St

Fiery Foods Weekend @ North Market

5:00 PM Stadium Viginium @ Axis 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level

Lincoln's Birthday

20 21 22 23 24 25 26

13 14 15 16 17 18 19

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March 2011 S M

8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:00 PM Cinderella @ Capitol Theater 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level

27 28

20 21 22 23 24 25 26

T W

February 2011 S M

23 24 25 26 27 28 29

16 17 18 19 20 21 22

13 14 15 16 17 18 19

9 10 11 12 13 14 15

T W

January 2011 S M

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana

Fiery Foods Weekend @ North Market

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana

30 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 7:00 PM Karaoke 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana

Sunday

Bars-Clubs

Networking

Special Events

US Holidays

and 2 more…

She's A Boy I Knew…ateway Film Center

President's Day

… Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

Valentine's Day

… Karaoke 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

Monday

February 2011

26-27_Calendar 1/24/11 8:06 PM Page 1

Washington's Birthday

Tuesday

Groundhog Day

Wednesday

30 31

Thursday

F 4

S 5 9 10 11 12

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Vox: One Hit Wonders @ Cbus Performing Arts Center 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Riverdance @ Palace Theater 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM Cheech & Chong @ Palace Theater 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

Friday

Page 1/1

8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St

8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis

8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St

Fiery Foods Weekend @ North Market

12 5:00 PM Stadium Viginium @ Axis 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level

Lincoln's Birthday

Saturday

27 28 29 30 31

20 21 22 23 24 25 26

9 10 11 12

T W

March 2011 S M

27 28

20 21 22 23 24 25 26

23 24 25 26 27 28 29

T W

February 2011 S M

16 17 18 19 20 21 22

13 14 15 16 17 18 19

9 10 11 12 13 14 15

T W

January 2011 S M

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77 S High St, 614.469.0939, TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 1 www.balletmet.org: It’s roNO NICK CANNON REQUIRED Drumline Live @ The Palace mantic and it’s charming. Check out BalletMet’s producTheatre, 34 W Broad St, tion of Cinderlla. Why not? It 614.469.9850, www.capa.com: Everyone likes had a happy ending. Not that a man in uniform. Catch this kind. Through 13. 2p&8p; 39-member marching band in $28, $30, $39, $48. a show-stopping attraction SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 6 created by the music team MUSCLED MEN IN UNIFORMS PLAYbehind the movie! 7:30p; $27.50 - $42.50. ING WITH SKIN? COULD IT BE - ?! Super Bowl Party & Chili WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 2 Cook-off @ Cavan Irish Pub, 1409 S High St, www.caELECTRIC CARS MIGHT DRIVE OUR vanirishpub.com: It is indeed FUTURE Columbus Metropolitan Club time for the Super Bowl @ Athletic Club of Columbus, (again). But what better way 136 E Broad St, www.colum- to spend the holiday than with busmetroclub.org: Giorgio Ri- other gays? Be your own sassy sportscasters. Maybe get a zonni, Director of The Center little action. 5p; free. for Automotive Research or “CAR” at The Ohio State UniMONDAY, FEBRUARY 7 versity will be joined by John Pohill, Venturi North America BLAH BLAH Forum at Ohio State @ Ohio CEO, Ram Sastry, Director of State Law Building, 55 W 12th Distribution Research and Technology at AEP and Bran- Ave, Room 246, www.osu.edu: don Perkins Project Manager Gillian Martin Sorensen, former United Nations Assistant at ODOT’s Office of Innovation, Partnerships and Energy Secretary-General for External Relations (now Senior Advisor to discuss the potential and at the United Nations Foundathe reality of electric cars in our transportation, infrastruc- tion), will be addressing international human rights in a ture and economic future. forum for OSU law students, 12p; $15-$28. faculty and interested lawyers. 12:10p - 1:30p. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 3 PAINT THE TOWN RED TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 8 National Wear Red Sale @ SHOW HER LOVE! GET IT? Macy’s, all locations: As is the Robyn @ LC Pavilion, 405 tradition of all first Fridays in Neil Ave, 614.461.5483, February, and in honor of www.promowestlive.com: American Heart Month and She’s funky and not just beNational Wear Red Day (Feb- cause her name is spelled ruary 4th), customers wearing with a Y. Girl proved she wasanything red will receive a n’t a two-hit wonder in the special 20% discount on a late 90s. She’s been quietly wide assortment of merchan- building a huge fan base. And dise. Through Feb 6. hey, she even made a cameo on Gossip Girl! 7p; Indoors; FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4 $15. HEY COLLEGE KIDS! Fusion Friday @ Capital Uni- WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 9 versity, Capital’s Campus LIKE A CIRCUS, ONLY KIND OF SEXY Center, 745 Pleasant Ridge, Cirque du Soleil: Dralion @ www.stonewallcolumbus.org: Schottenstein Center, 555 Fusion Friday, a monthly pro- Borror Dr, 614.688.3939, gram of Stonewall Columbus, www.schottensteincenter.com: is hosted at Capital University Internationally known, check this month. Music, food, out Cirque’s latest spectacle games, safe sex demo, and to grace the presence of good performances by our hosts ol’ CBus. 7:30p; $35 - $95. Alexis Stevens and Dexter Wilde! This is a great opportu- THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 10 nity for young LGBTQA adults MY FAVORITE KIND OF TRUTH of Columbus for building The Naked Truth @ Shadowcommunity in a safe fun envi- box, Easton Towne Center, ronment. 7p-10p; 614.416.7625, www.shadowboxlive.org: Sure, it started in SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 5 January, ends in March, and LIKE ANY GOOD DRAG SHOW… plays every weekend. We just Cinderella @ Capitol Theatre, thought we’d sneak it into the GET YOUR HEART ON Hearts Party @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, www.columbusnightlife.com: Immediately following Single and Bitter, get in on this special hot spot performance from Ms. West celebrating Valentine’s Day. 11:30p; free.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 14 V-DAY Valentine’s Day @ Everywhere: Single and alone? Why, I have these three strapping gentlemen to keep me company. I don’t know why I’d be sad! Free (unless you want an escort).

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 19 I NEED MILK! Fiery Foods Weekend @ North Market, 59 Spruce St, 614.463.9664, www.northmarket.com: Melt away the

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18 I WISH IT WASN’T HIS LEGS MOVING THAT FAST Riverdance @ Palace Theatre, 34 W Broad St, 614.469.9850, www.capa.com: That crazy leg-flailing sensation is back in town! And don’t even act like you’re too good to see it... 8p; $22.50, $42.50, $62.50.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 13 ‘LINCOLN LOG’ IS ACTUALLY DOUBLE ENTENDRE Abraham Lincoln Re-enactor @ The Ohio Statehouse, 1 Capitol Square, 614.752.9777, www.ohiostatehouse.org: In celebration of the 150 year anniversary of Lincoln’s visit to the Ohio Statehouse, a nationally renowned Lincoln reenactor will pay a visit. Words cannot describe how excited intern Mack is. 2p; free (but RSVP required online).

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 15 YUMMY FOR THE TUMMY Farmers Market @ Pearl Market, 33 North Third St, www.downtowncolumbus.com /pearlmarket: Set in the mid-

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 17 WHERE’S IMMIGRATION WHEN YOU NEED THEM? Crossing The Blvd: Strangers, Neighbors, Aliens In A New America @ OSU Urban Arts Space, 50 W Town St, 614.292.8861, uas.osu.edu: The artists started the project in 1999 when they began conducting workshops for new immigrants to recount their experiences. Eleven years later, Crossing the BLVD has grown into a multifaceted documentation, consisting of an award-winning book, CD, website, performances, public radio documentaries, and traveling exhibition. 11a-8p; free.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 21 A COMMON MISTAKE She’s A Boy I Knew @ Gateway Film Center, 1550 N High St, www.gatewayfilmcenter.com: Using archival family footage, interviews, phone messages, and hand-drawn animation, the documentary begins in 2000 with Steven Haworth’s decision to... Part of the Transgender Film Series in partnership with TransOhio. Various showtimes; $6.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 22 WOMAN CONCEIVED AND BIRTHED A PLAY. CUT HER SOME SLACK. Let Me Down Easy @ Lincoln Theatre, 769 East Long St, www.wexarts.org: Anna Deavere Smith, theatrical goddess behind Fires in the Mirror and general uplifting and inspirational messages to young artists everywhere, brings her new one-woman show to CBus. Performances on February 22 – 27. 8p; $20, $42, or $48. WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 23 WHERE’S IMMIGRATION WHEN YOU NEED THEM? Crossing The Blvd: Strangers, Neighbors, Aliens In A New America @ OSU Urban Arts Space, 50 W Town St, 614.292.8861, uas.osu.edu: The artists started the project in 1999 when they began conducting workshops for new immigrants to recount their experiences. Eleven years later, Crossing the BLVD has grown into a multifaceted documentation, consisting of an

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 28 DIG OUT THE PLAID, LADIES God-des & She @ Wall Street Nightclub, 144 N Wall Street, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: A special performance by the duo. Watch as lesbians migrate from across the rustic landscape of central Ohio to be there. Huh-? Why’s the water in my cup shaking? 9p; $12.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 27 IT’S FUN TO PLAY AT… Male Dancers @ Exile, 893 N 4th St, 614.299.0069, www.exilebar.com: Bring your dollars and feel up some strippers at your favorite neighborhood hangout. 10p; free.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 26 END IT RIGHT Martinis @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, 614.224.4050, clubdiversity.com: Finish out February with the best martinis in town. 4p; free.

middle of your month. Why? dle of the hustle and bustle of mid-winter monotony with award-winning book, CD, Shadowbox always makes a downtown Columbus, the Win- special vendors, fiery foods website, performances, public classy Valentine’s date. At ter Pearl Market offers a cooking and eating contests, radio documentaries, and least the pitchers of Freak will unique opportunity when it kids activities and live music! traveling exhibition. 11a-8p; help you get through it. 7:30p moves indoors during through 8a-5p; free. free. (additional 10:30p showtimes February. Nestled inside 33 N on Fridays and Saturdays); Third St, right next to Lynn SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 20 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 24 $30. Alley, shoppers can purchase LIKE ANY GOOD DRAG SHOW… BUT GETT’N’ SLITHERED seasonal produce from the WITH MORE TEARS 3-4-3 @ Level Dining Lounge, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11 farmers who grew it, baked I Am My Own Wife @ Verne 700 N High St, 614.754.1342, CHONG RHYMES WITH... goods, jewelry, handcrafted Riffe Center’s Studio Two The- www.levelcolumbus.com: Cheech & Chong @ Palace and one-of-a-kind gift items atre, 77 S High St, Three Olive Vodkas special Theatre, 34 W Broad St, and much more. 10:30a-2p; 614.469.1045, $3 all flavors, $4 flavored 614.469.9850, free. www.capa.com: The stirring, Three Olive Long Islands, www.capa.com: You should, Tony Award winning one man and/or $3 Long Islands. All uh, “celebrate” before (and WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 16 play about Charlotte von day, free. after, really) seeing this show. SOUNDS LIKE A BOY I USED TO Mahlsdorf, a transgendered It’s only right. 8p; $37 - $57. KNOW person, who lived through the FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 25 Mixed Messages: A Study in horrors of pre- and post-World AW, HE’S AT LEAST CUTE ENOUGH SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 12 Texture and Image @ Studios War II Germany. How did she FOR A SECOND TIME EVEN BETTER IS SINGLE WITH BIT- on High, 686 N High Street, survive, and manage to create Vox: One Hit Wonders @ TERS 614.461.648, www.studioson- a safe space for GLBT people Columbus Performing Arts Single and Bitter @ Union high.com: Mixed media artist, from these regimes? Last day. Center, 549 Franklin Avenue, Café, 782 N High St, Marty Husted presents 2p; $32-39.50. www.cgmc.com: Remember 614.421.2233, www.columnew assemblages of her all of those songs you couldn’t busnightlife.com: Find out whimsical landscapes. Fiber get out of your head? No? what antics Nina West and artist, Deb Johnson creates Well, that’s because you recompany are into this time... abstract wearables from depressed that memory, thank Cohosting with Anisa Love. constructed textiles. Exhibit Beyonce. But Vox will make 10:30p; free. runs through February 28. sure you spend the next three Free parking in the back! weeks walking around with 12p-6p; free. the “Who Let The Dogs Out?” playing in your mind. Same time, same place on February 26. 8p; $20.

• • • • • • • • • • • about town • • • • • • • • • • •

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Gay, Gray and Fabulous: Gen Silent and Our Future by J Eric Peters The movie Gen Silent’s action comes from Lawrence Ernest Johnson, 65, and his partner of 38 years, Alexandre; Krysalis Anne Hembrough, 60; and Lori and Sheri, 72 and 77. Producer/Director Stu Maddux, Producer Joseph Appelbaum, Associate Producer and Exec present an impressionistic view of antigay discrimination and bigotry in the early 21st Century. They also reveal and celebrate the solutions created and put to work by GBLT elders and other community members. The story of Lawrence and Alexandre makes up the bulk of the film’s hour and seven minutes. They have been “long term partners” (Johnson’s term) since the 1970s when they met at Harvard University when Johnson was in his 20s and Alexandre in his 40s. They have made a home in a two-story suburban home, which they have decorated quite artfully. Gen Silent opens with Johnson marching down a street in Boston’s Pride Parade wearing a fabulous rainbow lei and carrying a sign saying, “Welcome to Viagara Falls.” outlookcolumbus.com

But that’s not how this couple has lived. In fact, Johnson says that for many years they avoided signing their last names to cards lest people recognize their relationship, and, for the same reason, refused to participate in Pride to avoid any camera capturing them together. This continues into the movie’s timeframe. Throughout the film until the sad finale, Parkinson’s dementia pulls Alexandre through a slow mental fade to the point that he struggles at one point to coordinate hand movements to wipe his face with a napkin. Johnson comments on his partner’s insistence some months or years earlier that, when his physical therapist visited to provide in-home care, they “straighten” the home. The film focuses on Johnson’s visits to Alexandre in a nursing home where they share such intimate moments as Alexandre slyly telling Johnson a story about an orderly coming onto him and Johnson feeding Alexandre and gently, caringly massaging lotion into Alexandre’s hands. One of those hands wears a ring indicating that Alexandre once served in the U.S. Marine Corps. Johnson’s intimate disclosure to the camera of his sense of feeling overwhelmed by his

responsibilities for Alexandre, his decision to take early retirement to accommodate that duty and his desire to end it all - in part because of his own diagnosis with lymphoma provide some very poignant moments. A violinist, prolific poet, African-American and Northeastern University associate professor, Johnson provides substantial food for thought when, on his way to visit Alexandre, he talks of loving a new man in his life. (Race matters - especially in a community that gets it wrong from time to time.) Krysalis Anne Hembrough has recently transitioned and expresses much exuberance in her new life with her correct gender. She describes 50 years of misery - angry at herself and at the world and episodes of major depression - living as a man. But now she struggles to manage the medical and emotional aspects of lung cancer. Difficulty added to this major challenge comes from her abandonment by her children and other family members. Relief for that comes from the return of her 17-year-old son into her life. I found one scene particularly moving: Hembrough, wearing a pink bathrobe, stands in her kitchen, seemingly over-

Just a spoon full of sugar helps everything go down.

whelmed emotionally, with her son and two community members helping out by doing culinary prep work, one wearing a cap with HRC’s logo. Hembrough’s experience vividly reflects the power of community activists and organizers to provide help, support and very generous practical assistance. They transform her life at least for a while. Due to her status as a Vietnam veteran, her funeral involves a flag draped over her coffin and two U.S. Air Force Technical Sergeants participating. Charm. That just exudes from Lori and Sheri. They provide much insightful discussion of the ever-unfolding historical context of their relationship. Having met at a dance 45 years ago, they mention the effects on their relationship of living through the Beat Generation, Sen. Eugene McCarthy’s anti-gay and anti-Communist witch hunts and the Stonewall uprising. They live in an urban tenement where they have lived for decades in a neighborhood where they have been generous and untiring activists - neighborhood activists for 30 years where they live.

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continued

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The film’s impressionistic style may frustrate analytical thinkers. The filmmakers could have done a much, much better job clarifying some identities and dates. “We’ve been on every committee known to man,” says Lori or Sheri, continuing later, “the chits are going to come in” and, then, tentatively, “I hope.” A clear, strong statement comes from Lori/Sheri declaring, “We are somebody. We really are. We put our heart and soul into the movement. You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for us.” That statement rings true with this writer’s long-standing ethical conviction that any generation that enjoys the benefits of literal or figurative ancestors’ courageous risk taking and hard work - benefits delayed too long for the previous generation to enjoy has a moral obligation to take their turn. If we do nothing to prevent gay teen suicide, then three or four decades of unending Republican rule would not offend cosmic justice. The experience of Lori and Sheri involves neither nursing home care nor in-home nursing care, but rather simple but substantial adjustments. They add a mechanical chair lift to their staircase, which has

begun to pose physical challenges for them, and ride on a trolley rather than march in the Pride Parade. Their personalities yield some of the film’s highlights. “What do you call yourself now FREAK or IT?” What the fuck? Imagine the shock Hembrough felt when her family returned to her letters she had wrtitten seeking reconciliation - but only after scrawling those hateful words on the outside of one envelope (so the postal carrier saw it). She also had to read “Deceased” next to her return address on another returned letter, which had “Ms.” crossed out and replaced with “Mr.” Others bore the notes “To whom it may concern Lose this address” and “So glad someone finally took off your balls.” Her family wrote that to her. All five - Hembrough and both couples shared painful, frightening and outrageous stories of encountering discrimination and anti-gay hate. One of Hembrough’s support people shared that she had felt just devastated to think that she might have to go into a nursing home at age 59 when she was dealing with

the end stages of lung cancer because she might not have enough people in her life who would help out. Her family could have filled in right about then, but they chose instead to hurl hateful words at her. Despite their actions, Hembrough still kept and displayed in her home a cute little knick with the words “No. 1 Grandpa.” She had reason to worry. Isolation poses problems for many senior citizens. “LGBT elders are only half as likely as heterosexual elders to have close relatives to call for help” according to an Oct. 1999 report by SAGE and Hunter College Brookdale Center.

Lori and Sheri shared a heartbreaking story. Bill, a friend of theirs who had been openly gay and engaged with the gay community, had had to enter a nursing home for endof-life care. There he became extremely anxious and fearful that the nursing home staff or other residents would learn that he was gay, and so asked all his GBLT friends to stay away, not visit and not mail him anything. Dale Mitchell, Co-Founder of Boston’s LGBT Aging Project, confirmed and finished the story. Bill’s friends respected his wishes. Months and months later they learned that he had passed. He died. Alone. But his fear made sense.

Along the same lines, Robert Behney of the Lesbian and Gay Aging Issues Network of the American Society of Aging reported in Winter 1994 that “46 percent of Area Agencies on Aging said that LGBT people would not be welcome at their senior centers if their sexual orientation were known. Not surprisingly, 72 percent of gay and lesbian elders. . . said they were tentative about using AAA services due to lack of trust of AAA personnel; only 19 percent of LGBT elders reported involvement in a senior center.”

Of nursing home workers, 50 percent reported their doubts that their coworkers would be comfortable with GBLT persons. And that discomfort can only increase the peril experienced by GBLT people in nursing homes or receiving care at home from health professionals. The National Elder Abuse Incidence Study suggests that more than 500,000 Americans aged 60 and over were victims of domestic abuse in 1996 with only 16 percent of those abusive situations followed by recontinued

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Feature! Now I could waylay some aging roue, and persuade him to play in some cranny...

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Grid furniture has nothing to do with the tron gridâ&#x20AC;Ś I'll never make that mistake again!

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There are no romantic gestures anymore. Whatever happened to bringing home the biggest gazelle?

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ferrals for help. The Senate Special Committee on Aging estimates that there may be as many as five million victims every year. According to the U.S. Administration on Aging National Center on Elder Abuse, which discussed the Special Committee’s report, research over a ten-year period produced one consistent finding: incidence of abuse increasing every year. That flies in the face of the Nursing Home Reform Act of 1987, which requires that all residents in nursing homes receive quality care and live in an environment that improves or maintains the quality of their physical and mental health - care and conditions to which they are entitled. The Atlanta Legal Aid Society’s study completed from November 1, 1999 to September 30, 2000 found that 38 percent of nursing home residents had witnessed abuse of other residents. GBLT elders do have reason for concern. Many were in their 20s when Sen. Eugene McCarthy acted out his personal issues by engaging in anti-gay and anti-Communist witch hunts. The story of the June 29, 1969 outlookcolumbus.com

Stonewall riot is well known. Corrupt cops raided the bar, and, that time, the crossdressers, hustlers and fags fought back. But other cops had executed similar raids before that one, and cops in other cities had done the same thing. It was not unusual for gossip rags to publish the police reports, yellow journalism that destroyed many lives. The American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder only in 1986; before that, some families committed queers to asylums. The 1949 founding of the National Institute of Mental Health led to President John F. Kennedy signing into law the Community Health Centers Act of 1963, which led to the dismantling of the U.S. asylum system. Our five have stories to tell - and tell them they do. And homophobia did not disappear completely on June 30, 1969. Some seniors fear that the pendulum may swing back the other way, as Buckeye queers may very well see when Republican Governor John Kasich undoes Democrat Ted Strickland’s antidiscrimination protection for trans state employees. But our five friends do not find themselves

alone. Sometimes we GBLT folk get the actions required to build and maintain community right. They found each other and others with them at events like Lawrence’s poetry reading at a public library of the substantial body of writing he had completed while he was attending to Alexandre. Emmanuel Episcopal Church in Boston provides space every week for Cafe Emmanuel, a program that provides a hot nutritious meal, a weekly check-in for folks aged 60 and over, some of whom may be physically vulnerable, and an opportunity for socializing instead of isolating. Students from the Boston Conservatory offer music some Thursdays. Vox or the chorus or the Capital Pride Band of Columbus could show them up if a program like Cafe Emmanuel develops here. Lisa Krinsky, LICSW, Director of the LGBT Aging Project in Boston, made a difference for folks in at least one of Boston’s nursing home when she took a sensitivity training program to its staff, helping them learn to have conversations with residents that those staffers might find unfamiliar and difficult. Stonewall Columbus could replicate that locally, maybe stealing the lesson plans from

IF this feature were a life-span, this would be middle age. Congrats.

Krinsky (hey - that’s what I’d do; why reinvent the wheel?). Absolutely amazing is what Jenifer Firestone, coordinator and caregiver at Dr. Matthew S. Shwartz Hospice and Palliative Care produces for Hembrough. As her lung cancer reached toward its endstage, Hembrough expressed realistic concern about what would happen when her body would no longer carry her to her oxygen tank. She expressed a strong desire to die in her own house instead of in a facility. At one point the film shows her apparently wearying and having difficulty getting her breath on the very short walk from her front door to her car. Firestone explains that Hembrough needed not specialized health care, but simple support with day-to-day tasks - 24/7 support. But that presented a ponderous challenge to Hembrough, estranged from her family and, with a sometimes difficult personality and a social life limited by her physical energy. The way Firestone and Hembrough work to find and organize folks - people Hembrough mentions that she hadn’t known one month before they came to her house - to provide that 24/7 care is truly marvelous. You can find a :04 minute trailer for Gen Silent online at http://stumaddux.com/GEN_SILENT.html.

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Zac Efron will not deliver your Blooms Direct flowers.

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Old & Bold: GBLT Aging by the Numbers Parallel to the development of modern and post-modern GBLT communities through the 20th Century and into the 21st, shifts in U.S. demographics have raised up a population of GBLT seniors that now face sometimes daunting challenges. Demographers expect the population of U.S. residents aged 65 and over to double to 80 million in the next 30 years. That growth rate is four times that of the U.S. population and would continue patterns evident in recent history. In 1900, the U.S. population of 76.2 million included 3.1 million folks (4.1 percent of the population) over age 65. Life expectancy was 47 years, increasing to 68 by 1950. That year, 12.3 million seniors constituted 8.1 percent of the U.S. total of 151.3 million. Americans continued living longer and longer, and the proportion of the population made up of seniors continued to grow until last year’s census found a life expectancy of 71 and 40.2 million seniors constituting 13.0 percent of the 308.8 million total.

gay man or lesbian who earned less than her or his deceased partner • $5,528 – average annual impact of lack of spousal benefit Social Security is the single most important financial safety net program for U.S. older adults. Despite paying into Social Security in the same manner as their heterosexual peers, LGBT elders are not equally eligible for Social Security benefits. • $17,176 – annual Social Security Income

of older straight couples • $14,116 – gay couples • $11,764 – lesbian couples • 4.6% - rate of poverty for older straight couples • 4.9% - gay couples • 9.1% - lesbian couples Medicaid is the largest funder of long-term care in the U.S. For married heterosexual couples, Medicaid has exemptions to avoid requiring a healthy partner to sell a shared

home or to live in poverty to qualify a spouse for long-term care. Same-sex couples and families of choice don’t get those exemptions. An LGBT elder in a committed relationship must still apply for Medicaid coverage of long-term care as a single person and is therefore entitled to keep a mere $2,000 in countable assets and generally less than $100 in monthly income. For more info: www.lgbtmap.org or www.sageusa.org.

Two Stories of Aging

• 4.1% - proportion of adults identifying as lesbian, gay or bisexual • 1.5 million LGB elders (today) • nearly 3 million (2030) • 1/3 – proportion of gay and lesbian Baby Boomers (those born during the post-World War II baby boom from 1946 to 1964) identifying discrimination as their greatest concern about aging •80% - amount of long-term care provided by family members (all in U.S.) • ½ – comparative likelihood of GBLT elders compared with non-gay elders) having close relatives to call for help • 2x – comparative likelihood of GBLT elders being single • 3x – likelihood of GBLT elders being childless • 42% - GBLT seniors citing financial problems as a big concern • 47% - those reporting net worths of less than $10,000 • 30% - those worried about their future housing needs • $14,076 – the amount of Social Security benefits lost by GBLT elders due to lack of federally-recognized spousal benefits for a outlookcolumbus.com

...And this, my friends, would be your end.

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CATCO Presents Pulitzer Prize-Winner I Am My Own Wife Feb. 2-20 by Steven C. Anderson In the rubble of the once-formidable Berlin Wall, tales of privation and brutality arose. Among the compelling stories that emerged was one about a man named Lothar Berfelde, who was affectionately called Lottchen. He realized early in his life that he was more comfortable living as a woman than a man and ultimately changed his name to Charlotte von Mahlsdorf. It is easy to dismiss Charlotte as an oddity. Gender identification is entangled in the deepest biases of our social order. Boys should not play with dolls; girls should not be interested in trucks. And grown men should certainly not be obsessed with the furniture of an esoteric era of fussy furniture making. Charlotte was immune to these dictates and created her own construct for how she would live her life.

there appears to be something deeper involved. She seemed to recognize the connection we human creatures have with our possessions. Unable to save the victims, she was determined to honor their possessions and eventually created a museum that connected the historical dots from the 19th century to the present. In her autobiography with the same name as the play, she states unequivocally, “A human life, no matter how long it endures, is short. None of us are perfect, but we must have the courage to fight for justice, contend against injustice, and protect others from danger under any circumstance with all of our might, even at the risk of our lives.” As viewers consider the implications of both the play and the life of this enduring individual, using the lens of that statement will help to unlock Charlotte’s mysteries. She was not perfect, but she was most certainly brave as she faced the vicissitudes of life.

Charlotte, an avid collector of gramophones and regulator clocks, had an interest in the furniture from the Grunderzeit era (late 19th century), and worked as assistant in a secondhand furniture business. During the shameful period of the evacuation of the Jewish population of Germany, her employer was involved in the cataloguing and resale of the goods, books and furniture of Jewish families.

The title of the play is a reflection on her individualism. When she was 40, her mother inquired why she did not get married. Charlotte’s response, “I am my own wife,” is a testament that she understood that she could depend only on herself.

It is easy to paint Charlotte as an opportunist, eager to profit on the misfortunes of others, but upon closer examination

Charlotte was a riddle inside of a puzzle, a secret inside an enigma. She survived the Nazis and then the East German

feb 2011

Christopher Roche. Dirty. Sexy. And the man knows his Stella Adler.

Communists while protecting Edison phonographs, regulator clocks, quaint antiques, and, ultimately, other people. Was she savior or collaborator, hero or traitor, noble or corrupt? The answer emerges in CATCO’s presentation of I Am My Own Wife by Doug Wright, which will be presented Feb. 2-20, 2011, at the Verne Riffe Center, 77 S High St. There are two previews: Wednesday, Feb. 2 (11a), and Thursday, Feb 3 (7:30p). Ticket prices are $11.50 and $32.50, respectively. Tickets for two additional $11@11 matinees Feb 9 and Feb 16 are $11.50. All remaining tickets are $40. Tickets can be purchased at the Ohio Theatre Ticket Office (39 E State St.), all Ticketmaster outlets, and www.catcoistheatre.org. To purchase tickets by telephone, please call 614.469.0939 or 800.745.3000. Sponsor for I Am My Own Wife is Fifth Third Bank. CATCO also acknowledges TransOhio for its support in making its production possible. Steven C. Anderson is directing I Am My Own Wife and is artistic director for CATCO-Phoenix’s, a member organization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association. CAMA’s mission is to promote awareness of and participation in the arts and cultural opportunities in Greater Columbus through collaborative marketing and public relations projects, and to provide professional development opportunities for members. For information visit www.camaonline.org.

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â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Crisisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; does not include losing the car keys, watching a Nicholas Cage movie, or discovering that grandma organized the dildo collection.

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ANNE HATHAWAY BEGS FOR, THEN GETS, ROLE ON GLEE

cast of the Nickelodeon kid show, Supah Ninja, where he’ll play the spiritual guide to his ninja-in-training grandson and his Sometime an A-list actor still has to audition friends. His character is deceased - and no, for a role. Sometimes the A-list actor just gets not gay like Takei at all - but will communia call and an offer. And sometimes that A-list cate as a hologram from the afterlife, providactor grovels and begs. That’s what Anne ing elder statesman wisdom, ninja tips and Hathaway’s been doing lately, in her ongoing the occasional comic one-liner. No word yet on campaign of pestering Glee creator Ryan when the show will debut, but keep checking Murphy for a part. And if you think that noth- those DVR listings. It’s sure to be an easier ing goes down at the Golden Globes besides find in the alphabetical queue than $#*! My drunkenness, irrelevant award dispensing Dad Says . and everybody getting angry at Ricky Gervais, then you’re wrong. Sometime during a com- CHLOE SEVIGNY’S SHORT VISIT TO SUNmercial break at the most recent fete, Murphy DANCE handed Hathaway her part, one where she’ll be playing Chris Colfer’s singing lesbian Jonathan Caouette is a man who takes his aunt. How’s that for a rarefied atmosphere? It time. His Sundance Film Festival sensation, definitely beats being discovered at the Wal- the intimate documentary Tarnation, is now Mart or on YouTube. And for all we know right eight years old. And since that burst of indie now, Hathaway could pop up on the air much fame he’s made a documentary about the sooner (season two) rather than later (season very hip All Tomorrow’s Parties music festival, three). They move quickly over in the Glee uni- and that’s kind of it in terms of real output. verse. Now comes news that this month’s Sundance Film Festival will feature new work from GEORGE TAKEI IS A GAY NINJA Caouette, a film called All Flowers In Time, featuring Big Love star Chloe Sevigny. One litSuper-cool George Takei, best known as Sulu tle detail: it’s 14 minutes long, which isn’t on the original Star Trek series and as the one much longer than those funny little Sevigny guy still resisting the anti-charms of William parody videos all over YouTube right now, and Shatner, has a new job: he’s going to be a which also seems sort of short for a movie dead holographic ninja. Takei is joining the that IMDB.com claims is “a guided tour

through the shattered remains of memory and identity.” But at this point, hopeful Caouette (and Chloe) fans will take what they can get. MORE REAL YOUNG LESBIANS, LESS REAL OLD ONES Maybe you watched The Real L Word and found it… lacking. Maybe you were sort of OK, really - bored. Well, Showtime has what that they think is the answer to that blah feeling radiating from your TV. When season two of the reality series about a group of Los Angeles lesbians debuts this summer, there’ll be more focus on dreadlocked Whitney and her crew of young, hip, twenty-something friends. And minimizing everyone else’s camera time isn’t even much of a tradeoff. It’s not like the older cast members were spouting golden nuggets of lesbian life wisdom every time they opened their mouths. Why shouldn’t the spotlight shine on the pretty young things and their ability to party all night on a Tuesday? It’s a reality soap opera, after all; no one’s mistaking it for Masterpiece Theater. And because it’s Showtime, they’re all going to continue taking off their tops. Everybody wins. Romeo San Vicente believes there should be a 24-hour all-lesbian channel. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

Role/Play by Gregg Shapiro Rob Williams’ 2009 gay holiday romp Make the Yuletide Gay was a delight. Sexy and side-splittingly funny, it was a gift that keeps on giving. Unfortunately, the same doesn’t hold true for the overly chatty and unsexy Role/Play (Guest House Films). Nothing if not ambitious, Williams attempts to tackle far too many topics (ranging from the death of the gay media and the younger gay generation’s ignorance of gay culture to gay marriage and being gay in Hollywood, among others) and winds up shorting the audience on entertainment.

Also checking in is gay to the resort is marriage activist Trey (Matthew Montgomery), who is supposed to be celebrating his wedding anniversary with his husband. But Trey is alone, arriving on the heels of his own scandal, one involving infidelity. After some initial antagonism (read bitchiness), Graham and Trey find themselves making friends and then making love.

From there we, along with Alex and wise young resort guest Ricky (Brian Nolan), observe the pair go through the bloom of new love only to be faced with the reality of what lies out there for both of them. When each of them reveals the truth of their situations, which provide some clever twists to Williams’ credit, the conflicts seem insurThe movie opens with closeted soap opera actor mountable, although you can smell the happy Graham (Steve Callahan) giving his first public ending a mile away. A minor disappointment interview since “the incident.” What incident, you when compared to his previous film, Williams ask? Just the leaking of a videotape of Graham still remains a filmmaker worth following; even if having (unprotected) sex with another man. The Role/Play is played out. other man? Graham’s partner of five years, fellow soap actor Parker (Matthew Stephen Herrick). In DVD extras include director Williams’ commenorder to escape the media circus, Graham checks tary, outtakes and Getting Into Character: The in to a Palm Springs inn run by Alex (David Pevs- Making of Role/Play, a behind the scenes feaner) where he fields phone calls from his manic, turette. if distracted, agent Bernie (Jim J. Bullock).

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Who wouldn’t be happy to find George Takei lurking in the shadows of their bedroom?

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outlook is powered by Impero caffeine - Get some!

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Cupid Ain’t Stupid: Valentine’s Gifts That’ll Getcha Some by Mikey Rox PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE Cupid’s holiday calls for cocktails, especially if you’ve got a cutie to claim as your own (but probably more so if you don’t), and Stirrings all-natural mixers and rimmers (get your mind outta the gutter) get the party started. Just choose your favorite spirit, add a festive Stirrings flavor – like Blood Orange or Pomegranate – and sip your way to satisfaction. To help you along, Carlo, the Naked Bartender – who’s a dead ringer for Timothy Olyphant’s younger, hotter brother – offers recipes and interactive video greetings when you become a fan of Stirrings on Facebook. Hands on the keys, please. ($7; Stirrings.com) BY THE BOOK While Kindle and Nook duke it out for dominance of eReader market share, Kobo is quietly gaining fans. Why? For starters, it’s lighter and faster than Kindle, and Kobo features a chic quilted back available in several sexy colors, like Onyx, Metallic Silver and Lilac. The WiFi-enabled eReader also comes preloaded with 100 free eBooks and access to a store that contains 1.8 million more freebies that can be read on nearly any other non-Kobo device. Which is more than Amazon can say for its prize pony since it’s only compatible with Amazon downloads. Three cheers for the underdog. ($139.99; KoboBooks.com) HEARTS OF GOLD It doesn’t matter what kind of girl you have, diamonds are probably still her best friend. Because, let’s not beat around the bush here, who doesn’t love a little bit of bling? From The Pearl Source, which uses freshwater and South Sea pearls at 75

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percent off other retailers’ prices, comes the Tahitian Heart-Shaped Diamond Earring set and the Tahitian Pearl & Diamond of the Heart Pendant. The former features 3.5 grams of 18K white gold and .15 carat SI-quality diamonds while the latter boasts .22 carats and 1.63 grams of white gold. But the reaction you’ll receive when she opens the box will be more than you can measure. ($399$599; ThePearlSource.com) SEXUAL DELIVERY What goes on behind closed doors is nobody’s business but yours. Well, unless you count the FedEx guy who delivers your shipment of Collective Wellbeing sex toys. But then again, he knows all your dirty secrets, doesn’t he? And now he’ll have something new to talk about it. We Vibe II – the first vibrator that can be used during intercourse and allows for simultaneous internal and external stimulation – is perfect for deepening intimacy and recharging passions, while Naughtibod by OhMiBod plugs into an iPod or other portable music player to send good vibrations to your erogenous zones in time with your favorite tunes. That’s right – a dildo that elevates your ecstasy to the sounds of Melissa Etheridge. Lesbian heaven. ($69; CollectiveWellbeing.com) PUBLIC SPEAKER Nobody keeps wallet photos anymore. Except maybe your dad, and he probably hid yours behind his Moose Lodge membership after you came out. Such is life. Since you’re not an easily embarrassed old curmudgeon, you likely want a better way to show off your sweetie. Enter Doodle from OrigAudio, a portable speaker that you can customize with personal pics (but not too personal), artwork, logos, graphics and more. Powered by two AA batteries, Doodle is compatible with any

audio device that has a standard headphone jack and it fits in your back pocket. Right next to his heart. ($39.99; OrigAudio.com) FORBIDDEN ROMANCE Planning a low-key, lady-lovin’ February 14th at home? Here’s what you do: Spark up a couple candles, set the table with her favorite dishes and pour a few glasses of red. But that’s just the beginning. Afterward, surprise her with the Nicole Conn Romance Pack from Wolfe Video, featuring three great lesbian romance titles from the iconic filmmaker, including “Claire of the Moon,” “Cynara,” and “Elena Undone.” Cuddle up in something sexy and let the evening unfold. All over the house. ($34.95; WolfeVideo.com) CHEEKY VALENTINE There’s no shortage (pun totally intended) in this year’s V-Day selection from aussieBum. Whether your guy’s a hipster in the streets but a freak in the sheets, prefers boxers of briefs, or needs a little help from underneath, there’s a pair of ’wear from Down Under sure to please his package. Styles include WJ Pro, which will give his nethers the ultimate upgrade; boxers adorned with amorous rabbits; Classics available in 14 different colors; and a sporty tank to help him sop up all that sweat – in and out of the bedroom. ($19.25-$40; aussieBum.com) PLATTER FLATTERY Etsy aficionado Jennifer Matlack breathes new, functional life into vintage, silver-plate trays, bowls, plates and platters by self-stamping handpicked pieces with words and phrases like “Love,” “Adore,” and “Be True.” Smaller sizes are about

four inches in diameter while larger works of art serve as true serving devices with 12-inch diameters. They’re perfectly sized to hold earrings, rings, perfume bottles, keys and change. They can hold food too, like, say, chocolate truffles or any other aphrodisiac. Discovers at estate sales and flea markets, each piece is one-of-a-kind in shape, amount of tarnish (or shine!) and design. ($8$45; Etsy.com/shop/daisychestnut) SEALED WITH A KISS Known the world over for its indulgent outlook on decadent confections, Godiva recently launched a line of Chocolate Infused Vodka, a five-times distilled, ultra-premium spirit, the taste of which will speak for itself. So here’s a recipe: Combine one ounce of Godiva Chocolate Raspberry Infused Vodka with a half-ounce of Crème de Cassis in a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake well and strain into a champagne flute. Top off with chilled bubbly. Serve with a smooch. ($29.99) BARELY THERE With sassy sayings like “Trophy Wife,” “Just Married,” “Bottoms Up,” and “Domestic Diva,” Smart Ass Thongs are perfect for a playful couple that never takes themselves too seriously. Undies feature an optimal rise and a “floss” width that’s just right – not too wide or narrow. Colors vary per message, but include black, periwinkle and hot pink. Each pair comes beautifully packaged and ready for giving. Enter coupon code PAPERROXSCISSORS at checkout to receive a 20% discount. ($20; SmartAssGifts.com) Mikey Rox’s gift guides – which include Mikey Rox’s Ultimate Guide to Gay Gift Giving at holiday time – are the only such guides syndicated in LGBT publications across the country. If you have a product that you’d like to see featured in the future, contact Mikey at mikey@paperroxscissors.com.

Or, if you’re single, that look of desperation on your face and a cheap whiskey bought for a stranger usually getcha some too.

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She thought she could hide her name in small print, but SHERRI DRIBBLELIPS is in The Most Fabulous Show on Earth.

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Fashion of Youth by Ryan Harris I can remember my grandmother as if she were here yesterday. She was (as most people feel about their grandmother) the best grandmother in the entire world. She was fun to play with, cook with, talk with, and could always make me feel better no matter how bad of a day I was having. But something I also remember about her was how I always thought she was so old, even when she wasn’t. What made me always think that of her? Well… she looked old. And it wasn’t just her; it was all of her friends as well. They all seemed so old to me. Now, I look at my mother, who is (sorry mom) turning 67 this year, the same age my grandmother was when I was 12 year old, and I think to myself, “my mom is so young!” Why is this? She is a grandmother herself now. The age is the same, so what has changed? Is it only a young child’s perception of age, or are people actually getting younger? I think it is safe to say that a child’s perception of age is definitely way off. I’m sure my nephews think I am old as hell at only 33. But I decided to put this theory to a test. I began pulling out photos of my grandmother and comparing them to photos of my mother at the same age. The proof was right in front of my face. My mother consistently appeared years younger than my grandmother. So that leads me to the next question:

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Are people actually aging slower, or is cosmetic science simply helping create the illusion that they are? There is no denying that improved nutrition, exercise and medical advancements are greatly contributing to people living longer, healthier lifestyles and allowing them to feel younger. But I’m not sure this explains why they actually look younger. Many of you may be thinking “Duh, Ryan, it’s called going under the knife,” and I can’t totally disagree on that. Where once there were Tupperware parties - now there are Botox parties. What once was a local beauty shop is now a Grand Salon, offering more than just a cut and color, but full beauty services ranging from skin, hair, nails, and even full-blown makeovers. Everywhere you look you find new lotions, facial cleaners and rejuvenating eye creams, but that still doesn’t fully explain. I know for a fact that my mother has never had a single “procedure” done and she still looks younger than my grandmother did at her age. So I came to the only conclusion a fashion consultant and stylist could come to: the final piece of this puzzle is Fashion!!! Styles have changed so drastically over the years mainly because people are living longer,

healthier lifestyles and don’t want to look like the old lady next door. Today’s grandma would much rather wear outfits at her favorite boutique rather than house socks and a matching muumuu. There are limitations, however, that we can never forget. We have all heard the phrase “Dress your age”, but what does that mean exactly? Clearly parents use it to tell their children not to grow up to fast, and stylists use it to tell their clients not to dress like their teenagers, but other than that, who is to say what is and isn’t age appropriate for adults? I think we should change that phrase to “Dress the age you look.” Last time I checked, the malls are not filled with stores called “Age 30 through 35” or “Age 70 and Up” (yes, I know there is a Forever 21, but just go with me on this). It’s up to the consumer, and clearly today’s consumer has options beyond a pair of wash and wear polyester pants. They want leggings or a classic chino…you get my point. Department stores that cater to adults are carrying clothing that looks younger and younger these days, and don’t think for a single second that it isn’t consumer driven. I have read several studies on this topic and in some studies a whopping 89% of women strive to dress younger to appear more youthful. Now this isn’t

Though oddly, ass-less chaps are the fashion of the old.

the green flag to pick up a pair of yoga pants with the word “Sexy” in sequence lettering across the back end; as an adult, you still must have good taste. Some people may say this is basic fashion evolution, with styles simply changing as the times change and I do agree. But I can’t help but feel that it isn’t time changing styles, it’s the consumer. In other words, unless you have a wishing well in your back yard, fashion is the modern day Fountain of Youth….or should I say the Fashion of Youth. So before you call up the local plastic surgeon, or spend hundreds of dollars on skin care products, simply start by going through your wardrobe. Sure, you may need to pick up a few newer pieces, but chances are you won’t need to replace your entire closet, rather pair the pieces together in a more modern style. Give it a try Columbus, and if you follow this path you are sure to stumble upon the Fashion of Youth! Make Everyday a Runway! Ryan Harris is a Fashion Consultant/Stylist for Wardrobe Therapy LLC and the owner of RH Model Mentor. Contact him at rhmodelmentor@yahoo.com or for more style info visit www.wardrobetherapyllc.com.

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Shop outside the box, but use protection. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the moral of this page.

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Carlton’s glorious, dangerous denial. by Mark S King My friend Carlton is a chain smoker, even if all his cigarettes are imaginary. His standard pose consists of one hand resting on his hip - elbow jutting out as if in the midst of a runway strut - while the other arm is forever in motion, his hand swiveling constantly around his face and shoulders. All that’s missing is the cigarette, which you would swear you witnessed him smoking after having met him. Carlton even punctuates wry remarks by tapping his index fingers soundly on some phantom, extended filter. If his remark is particularly withering or at least gets a laugh, he’ll bring two fingers to his lips and add “puff puff, darling…” Carlton’s age lies somewhere on the distant side of sixty. He was raised after Stonewall but on a far more moneyed block of New York City, where discussion of queers was verboten. Even today, Carlton insists that coming out to his wealthy mother would be quite disastrous and a completely surprising bit of news to her. “I lived in Dallas, dear, years ago” Carlton is saying during our lunch. We had just switched tables twice, trying to escape the draft that’s been stalking my friend since Reagan was ignoring AIDS. “And let me tell you something darling. The ranch hands one would meet out in the bars had terrible personal hygiene. And I had a few, trust me. Just wretched.”

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I wasn’t sure what line of questioning to pursue. What might constitute an authentic ranch hand, I wondered, or why one of them might wander into the kind of bars Carlton favored. But I was in no hurry to expose his curious thinking. Multiple opportunities would typically present themselves. “Really?” I asked politely. “Oh let me tell you! That Brokeback movie? There was a real lack of cleanliness, didn’t you see that? Those straight boys… maybe they were adorable, but my God! I was holding my nose just watching that movie.” “Carlton, the guys weren’t straight. They were gay and living a lie. That was the whole point of the film.” “Oh they were straight,” he reiterated, despite all evidence, cinematic and otherwise, to the contrary, “believe you me.” Carlton insists that his conquests be straight, or at least a reasonable facsimile. A simple claim of heterosexuality will do. As he funds drink orders from male strippers at his local club, slipping bills personalized with his cell number into their posing straps, he is most likely to pause for any utterance that includes the words “my girlfriend,” “kind of hard up,” or “bus station.” He keeps attachments at a proper distance, which also helps avoid bothersome questions from Mother. Romance, alas, is simply a matter of

commerce. “I had a fabulous date this week,” Carlton is saying. “Square jawed. Handsome. And everything just where it should be, darling. Puff puff!”

time for a relationship right now, you are completely correct.” The moment had passed. “Besides, my phone is ringing off the hook this week.” He giggled and sipped his wine. “My dance card is filled, darling.”

“Good for you, my dear. I would do more charity work myself but with my travel schedule…” He managed to find something fascinating in the bottom of his wine glass and his voice trailed off.

“You can’t call them a date if you pay them, Carl.” I liked injecting the proceedings with jolts of sanity, like a random slice of sunlight piercing a forgotten attic.

“Oh Carl…” I sighed. “It’s the first of the month.”

“Don’t say that! You’re terrible,” he cries, waving me away, his fingers gripping his phantom Benson & Hedges Menthol 100.

“Rent is due, sweetie.” My eyes met a blank stare. “And so… your friends are calling for dates.”

I have made remarks about HIV testing to Carlton but he waves them away, often with a joke about his pitiful sex life, despite what he may say about his dance card. He knows I write a blog about living with HIV but he certainly has never visited it. He is a generous patron of other sites, however. Sites with secure transactions that help him populate date nights with young men who, if you believe them as fervently as Carlton does, are just a little hard up or without a girlfriend or need a bus ticket back home.

“This is reality checking in, Carlton. They’re called prostitutes. Street hustlers, knowing you.” “Stop!” He protested, and then feigned resignation. “He was straight, believe you me. And I think he really likes me.” I was tempted to respond, knowing the remark would lead down an entertaining rabbit hole of delusion and denial, but it felt like poking an animal with a stick. I let it pass. “Carlton,” I scolded, “you should watch yourself.” I was truly concerned for his safety. His friends have all made it clear that he isn’t allowed to live in a building without security cameras and a doorman. We want footage to broadcast on America’s Most Wanted when the time comes. “Oh please. I know, I know…” he relented, in an apparent moment of self realization. “I couldn’t possibly take

“And so?”

He wrinkled his nose, considering whether one fact had anything to do with the other. He was unconvinced. “Be that as it may,” he said finally, returning to his wine. “But please, darling, don’t try to take away from my funsy-poo.” “Funsy-poo?” I responded. He smiled sweetly. Whatever bottle of lube rests on Carlton’s nightstand, you can bet it sits on an embroidered doily. From Mother. Further discussion of his dating risks was a fool’s errand, and that went double for anything related to HIV, about which he spoke in faraway terms, like a Daughter of the Confederacy discussing the recent unpleasantness. “I’m speaking at an AIDS conference next week,” I said suddenly, to test my own theory. Carlton glanced from his wine glass with a pitiful smile and then wiped it away with his napkin.

Kissing a smoker is like making out with a sarcophagus.

We strolled out of the restaurant and I madly craved a cigarette after all that Carlton had seemingly consumed. He lightly brushed me with a kiss and promised to call in a few days if he could possibly find the time. He slowly sauntered away, taking in window displays and the busboy at a sidewalk eatery with equal interest. He was without care. Never have I known anyone who so charmingly operates only within acceptable truths. For Carlton, self preservation long ago vanquished self discovery. It’s a delicate balance, believe you me. Mark S King is author of the blog www.MyFabulousDisease.com.Comment to: mark@marksking.com.

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I wonder how low the sticky notes go...

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The Odd Couple in Fort Lauderdale by Aaron Leventhal Joe Spinelli has been my client and friend for almost a decade. As the former publisher of High Street Neighborhoods magazine, I appreciated the support of his Spinelli’s Deli as an advertiser and Joe’s involvement on my board of trustees. Over the years, we have shared good times and bad, triumphs and defeats. We are alike in many ways. We both grew up in the Cleveland ‘burbs, come from ethnic stock, are gregarious, opinionated, demonstrative and involved with community activities. We are both absolutely crazy about good food, entertainment and new adventures. There the similarities seem to end. I am Jewish, straight and happily married. He is Italian, Catholic, unabashedly gay and in love with his partner. This year, I will be 70 and look forward to semi-retirement. Joe just turned 40 and has recently opened a second deli with his business partner Bill Ward in downtown Columbus. It is in this context that onlookers are mystified that Joe and I are frequent traveling buddies. Six years ago we hung out in Costa Rica’s rainforest, last year we shared a luxurious apartment for a long weekend in Asheville, North Carolina, checking out the arts scene and eclectic dining. So when opportunity knocked last November to spend a few days at Fort Lauderdale’s stylish Royal Palms Resort (www.royalpalms.com), we didn’t hesitate to hook up again. However, what made this getaway somewhat unusual was the resort’s published policy that it is for GAY MEN ONLY. What we discovered during our all-too-brief visit is that Fort Lauderdale, located in South Florida’s Broward County, is a tropical paradise. With 23 miles of palmfringed, white, sandy beaches, 300 miles of navigable

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waterways, winter temperatures in the balmy 70s and a myriad of recreational and cultural options, this once college spring break playground has been transformed in recent years to a very hip and extremely popular gay resort community. Fort Lauderdale boasts more than 30 gay inns and boutique hotels, 150 gay-owned businesses and the headquarters for the International Gay & Lesbian Travel Association. Royal Palms Resort and Spa, located a few blocks from the Atlantic Ocean, has expanded from an intimate, 12room boutique hotel to what managing partner Richard Gray calls “North America’s first full-service gay resort hotel.” This month, Royal Palms opens a chic new 50room addition, including a spa, gym, café and bar. During the day, Joe and I relaxed by the pool and sauna, soaking up the warm sunny rays and chatting amicably with guests from across the U.S. and Canada. For lunch, we dined at Shooters Waterfront Café (954.566.2855) and the Greek Islands Taverna (954.565.5505). There are also more than a dozen nearby outstanding restaurants on fashionable Las Olas Boulevard. Popular destinations include Sawgrass Mills (www.sawgrassmills.com) Florida’s largest retail complex, with 350 brand-name outlets, Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, Polo Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger stores and Gulfstream Track and Casino, which recently opened The Village, with an array of international shops. Two other recommended activities are the Sea Experience Glass Bottom Snorkel Tour (www.seaexperience.com) and the Water Taxi (www.watertaxi.com), with a dozen stops along the city’s waterways. While there, I stopped by the Museum of Art/Fort Lauderdale Nova Southern University for a chat with executive director Irv Lippman, former director of the Columbus Museum of Art. He told me that he and his partner moved to Fort Lauderdale in 2003, and they

love all the positive energy they experience. “I think the ocean has a warm, calming effect on everyone. We have found that Fort Lauderdale celebrates diversity. Being gay here is particularly ordinary. Our gay community represents all ages, interests and socioeconomic backgrounds.” In the evenings, we cruised through Wilton Manors, a four-block stretch often described by the locals as Fort Lauderdale’s Castro. A few decades ago, Wilton Manors was a rundown desolate area less than a 10-minute drive from the beaches. Gay entrepreneurship has transformed the neighborhood into a dynamic GLBT community with dozens of fine restaurants, bars, clubs, specialty shops and sophisticated condos and rentals. Even on weekdays, every place was booming with music and crowds eager to enjoy drag shows, dance clubs, neighborhood cafés and live entertainment. Some of the places of note include Boom, Bill’s Filling Station, Rosie’s Bar & Grill, Sideline Sports Bar, Georgie’s Alibi, The Naked Grape Wine Bar and Ramrod, a Levi/leather uniform bar. Of note is the new Wilton Manor, a multimillion-dollar pleasure emporium, combining restaurant, lounge and hot nightclub. We enjoyed outstanding meals and excellent service at two gay-owned and operated restaurants - Galanga Thai Kitchen & Sushi Bar and Primavera, known for its fine Italian cuisine. A nice way to cap off the evening is a visit to the Seminole Hard Rock Café Hotel & Casino (www.seminolehardrockhollywood.com), with 2,400 slots, 125 table games, numerous boutiques and more than 20 bars and restaurants. For more information, contact the Greater Fort Lauderdale Convention & Visitors Bureau at 800.227.8669 or www.sunny.org/glbt, where you can download “Mild to Wild,” a new GLBTmobile site. Columbus-based travel writer Aaron Leventhal has recently begun a small group vacation company, specializing in economical trips to exotic destinations. Check it out at LeventhalTravel.com.

A resort for gay men only? What’s next! A bathing establishment for gay men?

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Dooley + Keller Williams = Awesome

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feb 2011

I love head.

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by Dan Savage I’m from the other side of the country, but I’m sitting in my lover’s San Francisco apartment wondering what I’m doing. I flew out here to spend five glorious days with her. We connect sexually (she’s a Dom stone-butch top, I’m a queer femme sub), we connect intellectually, and we make each other laugh. I’m head over heels for her and for this city. But she’s literally twice my age. In no way does this bother me. She’s handsome and wonderful and I’m so proud to be with her. But she frets that she’s too old for me and will die before me and it isn’t fair to have the feelings we do. I can hang on to this ledge, Dan, and not let myself utterly fall for this woman so that she doesn’t break my heart when she says we must part as friends. I think that is what is coming. But I know she feels conflicted, and I can’t see anything wrong with the two of us enjoying what time we have together. The future is unfixed for everyone; you never know what will happen tomorrow. Why deny something we both want, if it’s what we both want? If I have to just walk away from this with a slew of great memories of a loving introduction to the greatest city on earth, there are certainly worse things. But I wish I could convince her to at least let us have a chance. How can I do that, Dan? What on earth can I say? Lost In Fog Everyday Start with the clichés - “Age is just a number,” “I could get hit by a bus tomorrow,” “Someone’s gotta change your diapers” - and finish with a grace note: You love her, and you want to be with her, and you hope you’ll always be close, whatever she ultimately decides.

Our relationship is “hypothetically” poly in that my boyfriend and I have not had a third in a few years. I’ve had a couple dates in that time (with both guys and girls), disclosed, introduced them to my boyfriend, etc., and done everything a good poly boy is supposed to do. I didn’t end up dating any of them, just from lack of personality/sexual compatibility. I’ve never been to a speed-dating event before, though, so I’m not sure about protocol. I think that bringing up bi/poly would make the whole five minutes (or whatever) about that, and I’d really rather talk about mutual interests etc. Sexual orientation is a rather overdone topic to me, and talking about only that wouldn’t let me figure out if I’m even interested in the other person. I’m not embarrassed by it at all (I’m completely uncloseted); I’d just rather talk about more interesting things. So should I disclose during a speed date that I am (1) poly and/or (2) bisexual, or should I save it for a follow-up date? Speed Disclosure I tried to contact a few speed-dating businesses but couldn’t find one with a contact phone number on its website - and that fact, coupled with the Mountain-Dew-swilling-teenager-on-MySpace quality of the sites themselves, kind of makes commercial speeddating services look a little tawdry. Anyway, SD, disclosure is called for when a routine, obvious, and logical assumption is incorrect. Since most people are straight, the onus is on the gay person to come out. Since most gay people aren’t morons, the onus is on members of GOProud to identify themselves before getting disrobed. Other speed daters are going to make the reasonable assumption that you are (1) single and (2) gay or straight, depending on whether we’re talking about a gay or straight speed-dating event.

that is a turnoff for me. Despite what seems like constant effort on my part to raise my exes’ confidence in themselves, they never got any better and the relationships always ended. I’m not exactly bursting with confidence myself, either, but I tried my best to be a loving and supportive boyfriend. Yet time and time again, their images of themselves somehow seemed to actually turn worse, not better. I attribute a lot of their initial insecurity to the media, but I can’t help but believe I somehow screw up and exacerbate it. Troubled Horndog In Need You’re young and you’ve accepted your attraction to bigger girls, THIN, and that’s great. But the girls you’ve dated - presumably close to your own age - are doubtless still struggling with all the shit that’s been thrown at them about their bodies. To grow confident about something that caused you a lot of pain - to say nothing of being with someone who’s attracted to you in large part because of that something-that-caused-you-pain - can take time. That said, THIN, if all the bigger girls you’ve dated emerged from your relationship feeling worse about themselves and their bodies… you might be doing something wrong. Were you treating your girlfriends like human beings and talking about their bodies in a way that made them feel attractive? Or did you treat them like fetish objects and talk about their bodies in a way that made them feel disgusted with themselves - and with you? I’m a gay college student who’s into bondage and kink. I’m also very involved with the Episcopal Church and want to become a leader in my church. I don’t think that my predilection for bondage and my desire to pursue ordained ministry conflict, especially because I am fairly monogamous. Is there a conflict? Wannabe Ordained Kinkster

That said, and forgive me for this, LIFE, it’s possible that although this woman is what you want, you’re not what she wants - for reasons that have nothing to do with age. She may be pointing to the obvious age discrepancy because it’s a convenient, face-saving out, a way for her to pull the plug while sparing your feelings. So a word of warning: If she wants out and cites age, you may be tempted to press your case - and you should, up to a point - but press your case too far, and she may wind up telling you the inconvenient, face-squandering, feelings-spearing truth. I’m a bi male in a long-distance, long-term, and hypothetically poly relationship, and I’m going to a speed-dating event soon.

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That said, SD, due to prejudices beyond your control - biphobia, polyphobia - you may omit the bi/poly info about yourself on that first five-minute date. But you’re obligated to disclose before a second date is arranged. Not to spare the women and/or men you might wind up dating from the unspeakable horrors of going out with a bi/poly dude, but to avoid wasting time on women and/or men who can’t handle it. I am a 19-year-old straight male who is only attracted to chubby girls, though I myself am rather skinny. It took a while, but I’ve learned to embrace this (though at first it seemed almost as scary as if I were to come out as gay). However, the problem I seem to have now is that the girls whom I find attractive - big girls - don’t think of themselves as attractive and God does take a certain pleasure in punishing people…

I don’t see a conflict, WOK, but I am not now, nor have I ever been, the Archbishop of Canterbury. If you can meet and marry a nice boy who shares your kinks, and you remain successfully monogamous, and you have no desire to go to the Folsom Street Fair or post play pictures of yourself on kinky personal sites, I don’t see how your coreligionists will learn about your sexual interests, much less be scandalized by ’em. That said, WOK, um… I have nothing more to add. Fuck Sarah Palin, go Bears, preorders: tinyurl.com/4f2g524. Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net.

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by Jack Fertig

b o R by Chris Hayes

Whether you know him as an entrepreneur, a neighborhood pioneer or a sex pig, odds are you’ve been served by this month’s local celebrity. 45 year-old Rob Wagner is a farm boy at heart. After being born in Toledo, the Wagners did a stay in Fremont before settling on a farm in Van Wert. It was on that farm he grew up in a traditional all American loving family with his two older sisters & parents. Though his dad was transferred to Columbus his junior year, Rob stayed on the farm ‘til he graduated High School, and then made his way to our beloved Cow Town, where he has made a name for himself for the past 27 years. Over those years, Rob has had a variety of jobs, including managing a Brice Road KFC right out of High School, working for Bombay Bicycle Club restaurants, and managing Plant Land Garden Centers. It was his time at PLGC that spawned his interest in landscaping and lead him to attend Columbus State and OSU (Go Bucks!) for Landscape Architecture. He eventually opened his own business, Earthcare Landscape, in 1990. If you were lucky enough to have him service your yard, then yours was definitely one of the best on the block. The Earthcare yard signs and trucks, with a sexy staff of hard working men & women also, were seen regularly in all the surrounding Villages. His green thumb got him notoriety not only from your neighbors, but also magazines like Better Homes & Gardens and Women’s Day, and his own home was featured in The 2010 Urban Home and Garden Tour. But greenery isn’t the only thing he’s good at constructing. Rob’s also great at building buildings. Case in point, his home on 4th Street, three doors up from Exile Bar. After 3 years in deliberation with the Italian Village Commission, Rob finally got approval to tear down a dilapidated shack on the lot and build a replacement. The result is a stunning cottage that earned him the Italian Village Commission’s Recognition Award for Work in Italian Village and the Most Improved Property Award, which he proudly displays on his mantle, and has been featured in a magazine or two also. But if knowing the who’s who of plants and houses isn’t your thing, then you most

feb 2011

“Think twice, Aries!”

sistible as those impulses, but be very careful about playing Venus in Sagittarius square safe. Right now every acciJupiter and Uranus in Pisces dent and bug around is out to should be very sensual, imag- get you. inative and innovative, if perhaps a bit over-indulgent. LEO (July 23 – August 22): You Mars and the Sun in Aquarius and your partner (whether for are bringing out the edgy in- life or for fun) are both full of novative side, maybe a bit too grand fantasies, not quite hardcore. Pushing too hard meeting on planet Earth. Try can spoil the energy. To get lying back and letting your where you want to go, relax honey take the lead. You and pay attention to subtle could find it a very happy surclues. prise.

likely know our celeb from boozing it. Having bartended at the old Union Station Video Café and Downtown Connection, and an investor in the old Red Dog Café, Wagner always had a dream of owning his own leather bar. “Careful what you wish for,” he laughs. Originally he was in contract to buy the Eagle and The Eagle in Exile in 2001, but owner Todd passed the day before closing, and after many a family will challenge and court proceedings, Rob finally became proud owner of the Eagle in Exile bar at 893 N 4th St in 2007. Under his ownership, Exile, as we all now call it, has had a major transformation. The once seedy, scary, dark cruise bar is now much more of a neighborhood hangout, then hookup bar. “I want it to still be cruise-y. I’ve always loved that part of going out,” Rob says. “The flirting and the fun, but I didn’t want it to be scary anymore, or for people to feel that getting off was the reason to come here. I think people are pleasantly surprised when they see how it’s changed.” And changed it has. The 1800s building was completely reinforced, the bar area was completely rebuilt, the once boardedup front windows and door were revealed, an extensive landscaped back patio offers a relaxed open-air space featuring fire pits and trees, a steel staircase was added to the back yard, as was the Torso Leather and Fetish shop, and the dark interior is now lit up. Rob did the $400,000 renovation nearly himself, but he credits the countless volunteers who helped make Exile the space it is today. Long term, Wagner wants to take three adjoining properties and make an iconic complex that gays, straights and all in-between, can enjoy for decades to come. He says his goal is to create a place where everyone can hang out together. “We are all individuals, freaks and crazy in our own way. I want us all to get together and celebrate that. Celebrate each other and respect our differences.” A great motto to have, no? If Rob hasn’t serviced your lawn, your home, or drinking habits, maybe you know our celeb from sex-scapades in his infamous dungeon playspace. This cigarsmoking, leather pig, Top-Daddy likes the sex’n’s and is anything but shy about his sexual proclivities. If you’re into walk-in scenes, slings or jelly beans (just kidding) then hit this Daddy up to get down for a tour of the Dungeon or of the Exile. We’re sure you won’t be disappointed. Woof. Rob says his favorite thing about Colum-

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): Your social charisma is strong, but exercising it risks a greater price than you imagine. Be careful about any commitments of time and energy. You’ll find you had less than you thought.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): If you and your partner or roommate are arguing over housekeeping, your best strategy for now is to relax and be flexible. You probably don’t like that, but the alternative just brings more trouble.

PISCES (February 19 – March 19): Consider your ambitions carefully. A burst of energy now tempts you to overextend yourself. Some courage is good, but meditate and think ahead before you promise to deliver the moon.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): Usually you could teach “sweet and charming,” but now you seem to need a remedial course. Try to stay focused on tasks at hand and be creative on paper or on screen, not aloud. Let a friend confirm your brilliance before you send anything out.

ARIES (March 20 – April 19): Friendly provocation, dares and seductions can lead you too easily into trouble. Meditation and calm help you hear that inner voice that guides you. Don’t avoid your friends. Just think twice to avoid going along with something foolish. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): A simple effort at a friendly seduction is liable to blow up in your face and expose you to ridicule. Think ahead about your romantic/sexual needs and talk with a friend you know you can trust with your secrets – or a professional counselor.

bus is the variety of things to do here - if he could ever get out to do them. Since opening the bar, he hasn’t had a vacation, been out to movies, or even to dinner. Now that’s ridiculous! To help this sexy business owner relax, you can buy the guy a shot of Goldschläger. But since he’s not really a drinker, it might be better yet to just buy your friends a round and toast to Rob. Either way, let’s all support this unique friendly local hang out that is so openly inviting to everyone.

Sometimes a cigar is more than just a cigar.-

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): Your creative crises can be resolved at home or by looking at family “wisdom” in new ways. Guard against extravagance. You can transform old junk into new treasures. Focusing your will is the hard part. The rest is easy!

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): Revelatory letters to your family will lead to more drama than expected. That could be good in the long run for getting everything out in the clear, but the road to calm resolutions has a lot of GEMINI (May 21- June 20): You loud and nasty on the way! can be too eager to get ahead and out to new vistas. Asking CAPRICORN (December 21 – questions and working to un- January 19): The stars are derstand the answers is bet- opening you up for therapeuter than assuming that you tic release of secrets and already know everything you problems. Choose the time, need to take the next step. place and confidante very carefully or your worst seCANCER (June 21- July 22): crets will be out all over the You’re looking very sexy, but place. slippery. You may be as irreJack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977 teaches at the International Academy of Astrology www.astrocollege.com. He can be reached for personal or business consultations at www.starjack.com,

outlookcolumbus.com

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outlookcolumbus.com

And yet Arnie always stops at the Grater’s in Easton for ice cream when he’s in town. Hm…

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