2013-02-01 outlook: columbus magazine

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the Big Gay Bar Crawl issue

feb 2013 • vol 17 issue 9

Featuring: • dee w. ieye • state of the gay bar • one week, 14 bars • promiscuity in columbus • out & about • mark rothko • ordinary days • eat it! food trucks • dave franco & outlook bloggers

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2 feb 2013

I ♥ you. Don’t take it personally.

outlookcolumbus.com

everything is boozy When Havana closed last spring, the discussion on one local website turned to the topic of whether gay bars were even necessary anymore.

our Big Gay Bar Crawl, which begins on Page 16, our LGBT hangouts offer everything from hip-hop dance nights to dart leagues, bring-your-own-meat barbecues to ogle-someoneelse’s stripper nights.

even though we’re generally safer, happier and less isolated outside them than we used to be.

“I know a regular who goes into the bathroom to put his wig on,” The owner of the site suggested KC Kerrigan, a bartender at that every Short North bar is gay Union, told me during our bar and straight. He suggested that Use the issue to try out a new tour. “He feels comfortable in the addition of numerous “gayplace or two. And take notice that here.” friendly” places outweighed the the “gay scene” extends farther Cheers to that. occasional loss of a “gay-speand wider than the well-beaten cific” one. The function of gay path between Union, Axis and bars as safe havens had declined, Level in the Short North. We can’t _______________________ he concluded. believe how many members of the community were not familiar It’s nice to see you once a month, What happened in the wee hours with any of the bars that exist but we’d like to step this relationof Dec. 30 in the line at a Mikey’s south of Downtown. ship up. truck in the Short North ought to cure anyone of the notion that Nightlife is more than bars, of How about making this an every“gay-friendly” is always enough. course. day kind of thing?

The story of people standing up to a would-be bully made everyone Pete Lovering writes on Page 22 We’ve been working for the past feel good, but there’s a sad truth about a new exhibit opening this month to beef up our coverage of at its core: In the gayest stretch month at the Columbus Museum LGBT Columbus and beyond, so I of Art that showcases the work of invite you to visit us often at outof Columbus’ gayest neighborhood, the guy now known as “Mr. painter Mark Rothko. In conjunc- lookcolumbus.com and our Outlook Columbus Magazine page on Homophobe” felt perfectly enti- tion with the show, CATCO will Facebook. tled to tell two hand-holding men stage a play at the Riffe Center about Rothko’s life called Red. Be to cut out that “gay shit.”

Since the publication of January’s sure to join us at the theater on magazine, we reported online Gay bars are still safe havens.

Feb. 21 for one of our Outlook about 15 members of the Capital They are still needed.

Nights Out. Pride Band who performed as And as we learned once again part of a nationwide LGBT marchAyana Wilson goes out of the while visiting all 14 of them in the ing band in President Obama’s inrestaurants and into the streets course of a week, they’re still the augural parade. We also posted to review what’s available from social centers for many gay, lesblog reports and photos from two favorites, Los Primos Tacos bian, bisexual and transgender food truck and Gyro’s Meal Food central Ohio residents who went people in central Ohio. to DC for the festivities.

Cart. Her report is on Page 28.

This month’s outlook is about nightlife.

While we’re on the topic of food trucks, let’s get back to that On Page 14, Andrew Keller looks Mikey’s story again. You probably followed it as it was happening at the state of the gay bar and hopefully at whether they still occupy the same place in the LGBT commu- outlookcolumbus.com - but you’ll enjoy reading Mickey Weems’ innity. The short answer? No, but not because they’re unnecessary terviews on Page 6 with Joel Diaz and Mikey Sorboro, the pizzaor outdated. eater and pizza-maker at the Gay bars became less hidden heart of it. after Stonewall and less cruisy after the Internet. They’re now Joel, thankfully, faced only an ugly more likely to be destinations you comment and felt confident head to with a group of friends enough to call out the guy who than a place to find new ones. made it. Many of us don’t when we see an eye-roll or hear a “fagAnd they’ve been changing to got” shouted from a passing car. keep up with that trend.

As you’ll see in the report from Our bars are our buffer from that,

outlookcolumbus.com

We wrote about The Advocate’s snub of Columbus in its latest list of America’s most gay-friendly cities. And online, we’ve started running Dan Savage’s Savage Love column every week.

We’re working to become your daily source of LGBT news, entertainment info and commentary.

the big gay bar roundup issue: vol 17 • #9 | here’s what’s well serveed in this edition:

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OWNER & PUBLISHER Christopher Hayes

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you are here

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snapshot

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complete the circuit

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small pond

SALES DIRECTOR Chad Frye / cfrye@outlookmedia.com

the other side

SALES REPRESENTATIVE Alexis Perrone / aperrone@outlookmedia.com

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HEADQUARTERS Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, Bsmt Ste G Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525phone 614.261.8200 fax www.outlookmedia.com

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super mario world

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feature: State of the Gay Bar

ADVERTISING DEADLINES Reservations by the 15th of each month.

Art in by the 20th.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Bob Vitale / bvitale@outlookmedia.com

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feature: The Big Gay Bar Crawl

ART DIRECTOR Christopher Hayes / hayes@outlookmedia.com

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out & about calendar

MANAGING EDITOR Erin McCalla / emccalla@outlookmedia.com

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feature: sluts

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deep inside hollywood

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creative class: Mark Rothko

class: 24 creative Ordinary Days

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bookmark

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eat it!: trucks & carts

interview:

30 David Franco 32 savage love 34

local celeb bloggers

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puzzling

puzzling solution - puzzle on pg 38

But it’s really just an excuse to see you more often.

Salud, Bob Vitale, Editor-in-Chief bvitale@outlookmedia.com

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chris Azzopardi, Alisa Caton, Andrew Keller, Pete Lovering, Tom Muzyka, Mario Pinardi, Romeo San Vicente, Dan Savage, Robby Stephens, D.A. Steward, Bob Vitale, Mickey Weems, Ayana Wilson, Mackenzie Worrall CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Beth Brickweg, Chris Hayes, Chad Frye, Erin McCalla, Robby Stephens, Robert Trautman, Bob Vitale, Andrew Williams, Ayana Wilson CONTRIBUTING DESIGNER Robert Trautman INTERNS Alisa Caton, Brock Flint, Pete Lovering, Emma Reichert CYBERSPACE http://www.outlookcolumbus.com http://www.outlookmedia.com http://www.networkcolumbus.com http://twitter.com/outlookcolumbus http://facebook.com/outlookcolumbus outlook columbus is published and distributed

by Outlook Media, Inc. the first day of each month throughout Ohio. outlook columbus is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than 5 copies of any issue of outlook columbus with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted.

The views expressed in outlook columbus are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management. outlook columbus does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented.

Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2012 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

NEXT MONTH:

the fashion issue Yes we drank all those bottles of wine...yesterday.

feb 2013

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by Robby Stephens, Social Tsar New Life to an Old Location Nicole DiTommaso and Jacob Neal, owners of the new Reverse Vanity Spa in the Short North, hosted their first Diamond Society event to benefit Nationwide Children’s Hospital. Although the night turned out to be a who’s who of Columbus, including Gov. John Kasich and his wife, the major success was the donations raised to benefit the hospital. For more information on the Diamond Society event and Reverse Vanity Spa check out my interview with Nicole DiTommaso on my Facebook blog.

Where Are You Networking?

Are you looking to branch out? Meet new people? I always keep the second Wednesday of each month open on my calendar for Network Columbus. It’s central Ohio’s only GLBT chamber of commerce. It’s a great place to network and expand your personal and professional social circle. I always run into some of my favorite people when I attend the gatherings. Why aren’t you there?

Keepin’ it Warm With Level!

On a cold, cold night in Columbus, Level Dining Lounge was keepin’ it warm in January! I stopped in for a few cocktails with friends. The lounge atmosphere of their upstairs bar is a perfect spot for friends to gather for conversation and cocktails!

Nina West’s Drag Battle Royale I was asked last month to serve as a guest judge for Nina West’s Drag Battle Royale, where Alexis Stevens took home the grand prize of $1,000 after doing an amazing Kill Bill-themed choreographed dance and drag number. The audience was hot, the contestants were fierce and the hostess couldn’t have been anyone other than Nina West herself. Check out these photos and look for more on Facebook by liking Outlook Columbus Magazine.

Brian Reaume’s art opening at Ray’s Livingroom

47th Winter Hike at Hocking Hills State Park

Tony Tripoli @ Shadowbox Live

04 feb 2013

Tag, you’re it! Get on outlook’s Facebook page and start tagging your friends, lovers and countrymen.

Terry Brown, the first openly gay elected official in Franklin County, sworn in as county recorder.

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“Give It Up, Turn It Loose” at the Hollywood Casino.

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Levi Taylor, the Mikey’s Late Night Slice employee who kicked the homophobe out of line, with Joel Diaz.

Sweet Baby Cheezus!

Joel Diaz and Mikey Sorboro Look Back on the Story That Went Viral

by Mickey Weems The story of the crowd standing up to a loudmouth homophobe at a Mikey’s Late Night Slice truck became international news in January. The final line of Joel Diaz’s Facebook post that started it all, “No slut sauce for you, Mr. Homophobe,” quickly became a slogan and is even featured on T-shirts.

I caught up with Joel and Mikey Sorboro, the owner of the pizza truck, to discuss the event and its aftermath.

Mickey Weems: Tell us about yourself.

Joel Diaz: I’m a 31-year-old gay Latino male who was born and raised in Houston. I’ve been active in the gay community for the past seven years and have a passion for social justice. I enjoy spending time with friends, love to cook, enjoy the outdoors, hiking, kayaking and traveling, and I’m single!

MW: We’ll spread the word. Give us a recap on what happened at Mikey’s.

JD: My friend Ethan and I were standing in line at the Mikey’s Late Night Slice truck outside of Level in the Short North, holding hands and standing close together, laughing and joking about our night when the guy in front of us started on a homophobic rant. Not only did we stand up for ourselves, but the perfect strangers around us also stood up for us and let this guy

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know it wasn’t OK for him to speak to us like that. Levi, the worker in the pizza truck, asked the guy to cool it or he was going to kick him out of line. The guy got louder and Levi made a proclamation that they would not tolerate that kind of hate speech and gave him the boot.

MW: So what happened when the story went viral?

JD: The reaction from the media has been wild.

National blogs, local TV stations, national online news media like Yahoo and Sirius XM radio, Queerminded radio and a local radio station have all picked up the story. There have been about 25 media hits. I even made it to Gawker!

MW: Has Fox News contacted you?

JD: No, but I’d talk to them if they called! Our local Fox affiliate actually interviewed me. It was the lead story on the 10p news and then they asked me onto their morning show, Good Day Columbus, the following morning. They were great!

MW: What can your experience do for the gay rights movement?

JD: I think this story has offered millions of people in this country and beyond the chance to see perfect strangers coming together and doing the right thing.

MW: Tell us about your place of employment.

JD: I work for AIDS Resource Center Ohio. We are

the largest statewide AIDS service organization in Ohio, providing direct services in 62 of our 88 counties. I’m the chief development officer so I oversee all of our fundraising efforts, including a $1 million campaign to fund the new AIDS Resource Center Ohio Medical Center & Pharmacy that opened in the Short North a few months ago. It’s actually right across the street from the Mikey’s Late Night Slice storefront.

Mikey Sorboro and two business partners, Jason Biundo and Bryce Ungerott, opened Late Night Slice on July 4, 2009. The menu expanded to include the Cheezus Crust, Baby Cheezus and the Pizza Dog. Dipping sauces were introduced shortly after opening, including Hot Ranch, Garlic Sauce, and their superstar, Slut Sauce, which is now the world’s first condiment celebrity.

Mickey Weems: Have you guys always been gay-friendly?

Mikey Soboro: Our relationship with the LGBT community has always been strong, I feel, very strong. We support them, they support us. Being a business born and raised in the Short North, it comes with the territory. We’ve always thought of pizza as the great equalizer. People from all walks of life like pizza. We train our staff to have a thick skin when dealing with intoxicated customers, treat everyone fairly and stand up to those who jeopardize that climate. Everyone is welcome at Late Night Slice.

outlook, via outlookcolumbus.com, was the first local news outlet to report this story.

MW: What did you think when the Slut Sauce hit the fan?

MS: I was instantly proud of the way not only our truck workers handled the customer, but also how the other customers in line swiftly came to the defense of the two. It reinforced to me how much solidarity this neighborhood has. What I wasn’t prepared for was the national spotlight that followed. Wow. So that’s what going viral is like! The outpouring of support from all around the world - literally, all around the world - has been incredible, simply incredible. We’ve sold over 400 T-shirts (with “No Slut Sauce for you, Mr. Homophobe” on them) to supporters from all over the world. I’m not sure if this will be the catalyst to take Slut Sauce national, but it sure would be a great time to take one of the trucks on a cross-country road trip.

MW: What are your plans for the future, besides possibly taking Slut Sauce on a national tour?

MS: 2013 is already shaping up to be a great year. We have more locations planned, a new concept to debut, a bar opening in the Short North and more.

Mickey Weems writes Complete the Circuit every month for outlook. You can follow him online at mickeyweems.com and at qualiafolk.com, a site dedicated to LGBT scholarship.

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There’s no excuse not to know your status.

feb 2013

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Keepin’ it Fresh

by Alisa Caton When Kevin Farrell started his acting career, he never thought it would lead to selling Tupperware in drag as Dee W. Ieye.

But he’s sure glad it has.

Since moving back to Columbus in April 2012, business has been booming for the hometown boy.

Weekend parties need to be scheduled two months in advance. “They can party with me a lot sooner if they get a week day,” he said.

Farrell moved to Chicago in 1987 and worked in theater there for about a decade. He moved to Los Angeles in 1996 after landing an episode of Frasier in which he played a Niles (David Hyde Pierce) lookalike who was on a date with Daphne. After Frasier, Farrell started to land guest-star roles in shows such as Friends, Ally McBeal, One Life to Live, Young and the Restless and Boston Legal.

In 2004, Dee W. Ieye was born when Farrell participated in a Best in Drag show for the charity, Aid for AIDS. The show, which draws a crowd of about 2,000 people, had eight contestants from eight states. Dee W. Ieye was Miss Tennessee, and won first runner-up.

“A friend of mine saw me play that part that night, and he was selling Tupperware in drag,” Farrell said. After some convincing, he decided to give it a try. By 2005, he was selling Tupperware full time as Dee W. Ieye, and from 2007 to 2010, Farrell was tops in the company in retail sales for the United States and Canada.

“I was building a client base before I even knew I was going to come back here.”

Farrell said it takes him about five hours to do a show - or party - from beginning to end. He arrives around 5p and then has to transform into Dee W. Ieye. He sets up all the Tupperware, then takes orders and performs.

He then has to become Kevin again, pack up and drive home. “I’m performing,” he said. “Contrary to what most people think it’s a lot of work.”

If you want to book a party, he asks that there be a minimum of 35 people in attendance. “I do ask for travel expenses if I travel more than 40 miles from my front door,” he said.

Most of the parties Dee has thrown have been in the suburbs. It’s mostly straight women entertaining their friends. “It’s really being embraced by the straight community. It’s really nice that my business allows me to go into a home and break that myth of guys dressing in drag and any preconceived notions they have.”

In L.A., he also hosted “Dee’s Bingo Bash” events for charity, and he’s trying to set them up in Columbus now, too. Dee also hosts Tupperware parties for groups trying to raise money.

“It was hard at first to integrate the Tupperware into my persona. I had to make Dee W. Ieye talk about Tupperware,” Farrell said. “Once I figured out how to marry those two things, it’s kind of second nature for her to be the Tupperware lady.”

Just like bingo, there can be a fee at the door for a fundraising party, and all proceeds go to host group, which takes the pressure off buying. Dee W. Ieye already has helped raise money for the Canal Winchester Food Bank, Cancer Care and the Susan B. Komen Race for the Cure.

Once Farrell decided he was going to make Dee his full time job, he had a makeup artist design the look and teach him how to apply his face. Dee’s look is now trademarked.

Dee was in the Pride Parade for the first time in 2012, riding in the red convertible Tupperware awarded Farrell. “I want to do that every year,” he said.

During a visit home to see family in Columbus, Farrell’s cousins convinced him he should do Tupperware parties for a group of their friends. He hadn’t lived here since his move to Chicago in the 1980s, so he said he was hesitant at first. He wasn’t sure his hometown was open-minded enough for his kind of business.

Farrell said it’s refreshing to see how much his hometown has changed, and he called the move home completely smooth.

“I got more comfortable with my sexuality after I left Columbus,” Farrell said.

8 feb 2013

As it turns out, Columbus loved Dee W. Ieye. Farrell started to make twice-a-year, one- to two-week trips to Ohio just to do Tupperware shows. When he and his partner, Geoff, decided to move back, there was a business waiting.

Dee’s got some bling on that ring finger!

“It’s really nice that I can move back to Columbus with my partner and be accepted.”

If you’re interested in hosting your own Tupperware party with Dee W. Ieye, contact her at deewieye@aol.com or 614.602.2092. You can find more information at my.tupperware.com/kevinfarrell.

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Did you know that the Gateway Film Center runs at least 50% art films, most of which you can only see there?

feb 2013

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‘You Are Not Alone’ Documentary Examines Depression Among Black Gay Men

by D.A. Steward When Tyler Clementi jumped off New York’s George Washington Bridge in 2010, he quickly became the face of the anti-gay bullying epidemic.

But that same year, it was the suicide of Joseph Jefferson, a 26-year-old African-American gay rights activist, that deeply affected award-winning journalist and author Antoine B. Craigwell.

Jefferson’s roommate found him after he’d hung himself in his Brooklyn apartment. He was a graduate of the famous Harvey Milk High School and worked at Gay Men of African Descent, devoting much of his time to the fight against HIV/AIDS in the black gay community. Needless to say, his suicide took many by surprise.

“I went to [Jefferson’s] funeral,” Craigwell said. “I couldn’t help but think, ‘What could I have done to prevent this?’ That was my powder-keg moment.”

At the time, Craigwell already had logged many hours working on a book that he still hopes will become the definitive research tool on the issue of black gay men and depression. However, setbacks with securing a publisher led him to translating the project into a full-length documentary.

Craigwell partnered with NAACP Image Awardwinning director Stanley Bennett Clay and late last year released You Are Not Alone, a powerful and unprecedented look into the issue of depression in the lives of black gay men. Craigwell interviews dozens of men about their experiences, and

10 feb 2013

Clay packages it in a way that offers hope to those who feel hopeless.

“No one’s talking about the intense stigma and homophobia a black gay man has to deal with that’s getting him to the point where he no longer cares about himself and too often getting to the point where he wants to die,” Craigwell said.

Clay, who’s known mostly for his stage work, said he approached the film the same way he approaches his dramatic writing and directing.

“Here is the spilled milk, now clean it the f*** up!” Clay said. “In Act 1, I show what depression is and what it looks like, and Act 2 is about redemption and finding the resolution. How can we solve this issue? The story had to be uplifting.”

Craigwell and Clay hope to continue to be an uplifting force beyond the film. Through this project, the organization Depressed Black Gay Men was born. DBGM now consists of the book, the documentary and a series of community discussions that Craigwell and the cast/crew host in various cities throughout the country.

“Being a part of this documentary definitely helped me emotionally, I talk candidly on camera about dealing with the sexual abuse done to me by my father, and how I didn’t associate it with abuse as a kid. I just thought that was how my father loved me,” said Lester Greene, one of the many powerful stories featured in the film.

Greene is also responsible for a song on the film’s

soundtrack, titled Father and Son. “Doing the documentary was my own form of therapy. This film is a beacon of light, and I hope it shows people that even though I dealt with all of those hardships, I overcame it, and they can too.”

Nhojj, an OUTMusic Award-winning recording artist who’s responsible for the film’s theme song Hold On… You’re Not Alone, echoes this sentiment.

“That’s where the song came from…my own personal experiences with depression and overcoming it,” he said. “When films like this come along, you realize there are other people who are going through the same thing. It adds relief and helps to look at what’s really causing this.”

Craigwell’s research identifies five key components that lead to depression among black gay men, which are discussed in great detail in the film and his book. He cites denial or negation of self by family, community and/or society; sexual abuse or sexual trauma; the role of the church, and religion demonizing one for who they are; the correlation between HIV/AIDS and depression; and the abandonment felt by older gay black men who are emotionally and sexually rejected.

“This is a film that everyone needs to see,” said Dr. Jeffery Gardere, a clinical psychologist who appears as an expert in the film and is also its co-executive producer. “My hope for the film is that it becomes a staple in every school system in

I wonder if “You Are Not Alone” by Michael Jackson is on the soundtrack?

the country, because we have so many young people who are just coming to terms with their sexuality and are committing suicide just for being who they are.”

You Are Not Alone is set to hit the film-festival circuit this year, with appearances already scheduled at Los Angeles’ Pan African Film & Arts Festival (Feb. 7-18) and the Oakland International Black LGBT Film Festival (Feb. 15-17).

Craigwell said he wants to have the film released on DVD within the next year as well, but until then he’s willing to host screenings and discussions of the film anywhere he’s welcome.

Everyone interviewed for this article said getting its message to the people was the most important mission of You Are Not Alone.

“Depression among black gay men because they are black and gay needs to stop,” Clay said.

“When we sat down to watch the first rough cut of the film with the editor, we all cried. All I could think was, ‘Wow, this is going to help a lot of people.’”

For more information on the film You Are Not Alone and the organization Depressed Black Gay Men visit yana-thefilm.com and dbgm.org.

D.A. Steward writes The Other Side every month for outlook. He also hosts Queer Minded, an online radio show that airs live every Thursday at 8p at talktainmentradio.com.

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There will be a lot of beefy men in Affliction T-shirts runing around that weekend.

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As the Disco Ball Turns

by Mario Pinardi I would never be awarded a VIP card to any trendy nightclub, and my gay card should have been revoked years ago.

I would get handed the D.U.M.B. (Dorky, Uncoordinated and Misunderstood Bro) card instead. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good drink along with a good tune, but I was and I still am a terrible disco diva. My disco-clubbing etiquette is awful, and I can become belligerent when surrounded with diva-ish stupidity.

Hear me out.

Bathrooms in nightclubs are awful, unless it is a high-end establishment. Back in the day, the club’s bathroom is where all the action happened. You could get high, find a quick blowjob and maybe even find your next spouse. Even peeing on a live, wanton body was sometimes part of the action, too.

I used to get frustrated because I actually had to use the bathroom for its intended purpose, and I hated waiting for the dealer to sell a bag of blow so I could pee in the stall. The urinal was always challenging for me in a club because there was always a puddle to dodge and getting your shiny clubbing shoes soaked is not cool.

Now, if you have to make a shadoobie while at the club, good luck. That was always my biggest club faux pas. I actually would eat more than a Tic-Tac before I went out, and I didn’t take Imodium before I clubbed. (Yes, I know boys who take Imodium before clubbing so they won’t have to poo.)

When the moment came, I would find some drunken female to let me into a stall in the ladies’ room, and then I would buy her drink afterwards. I think that was an equitable exchange.

Professional clubbers all have a different perspective on dancing protocol. My thoughts are: If you’re invited to grind, then grind. If not, do not rub up against me.

I used to be the magnet for those drunken sloppy puppets who would want to randomly wiggle in my personal space without permission. Sometimes it was amusing and cute, and sometimes it wasn’t.

Usually when it wasn’t, it involved jealous boyfriends and cigarettes.

When smoking was allowed in bars, there were al-

12 feb 2013

ways those guys and gals who wanted to seem cool and would writhe against you while holding a cigarette. There is nothing hot about this, folks. Your hot ashes spread when you are trying to do a mating dance, thus turning folks off and burning the overpriced T-shirt I’m wearing.

The jealous boyfriend/girlfriend game was always a bag-o-laughs. It goes like this: Guy wiggles up against me, gropes me, then is pulled off by the jealous boyfriend. Repeat until there’s a fight. It was so stupid, and in turn, I felt stupid for allowing this to happen.

Fast forward to present day. If I’m going out to the disco, I need a tall strong drink before I dance, and then I’m usually that weird, nerdy guy convulsing in the corner, while Hubby is shaking his booty near me. As I said before, my club etiquette is awful.

Bartenders in the nightclub scene must have the same genetic makeup as male peacocks. They parade, vogue, flaunt and flex to get us to buy drinks. I used to fawn over the hot bartenders at clubs, dreaming that I would be the horse they’d want to mount. Little did I know their interest in me was solely for a tip.

I know I’m generalizing and there are bar staff who actually care about their patrons, but this is a small population. When I go to the clubs now, I seek out the most average looking bartender possible because usually he’s not the busiest bartender. Usually he’s nicer and will make me a stronger drink.

Girl bartenders love me because I tip appropriately, I do not stare at their boobs, and I don’t hit on them or try to fix them up with friends of mine. I have close friends who are nightclub bartenders, and the crap they deal with amazes me. I’m proud to say I try to be a good bar/club customer, and I use proper home-training when asking for my boozy treats, unlike many others in the club.

Clubbing has certainly evolved in the last couple of decades. Clubs used to be places to meet your mate or to meet a quick treat. Now they’re geared toward showcasing DJs and featuring faux Auto-Tuned singers. The only thing that hasn’t changed about the clubs is a constant beat of a good addictive tune. So, when you are out there shaking your moneymaker, know that the spotlight is yours and yours alone.

Mario Pinardi writes Super Mario World every month for outlook. You can follow him on Twitter at @mariowp3.

This discoball reminds me of the one time I was in Studio 54, I got in trouble for taking a photo of the floor tile...

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I found romance in a parking lot once... it was fleeting. Not like Fleet enemas, but that could have been the problem.

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Last Call for Gay Bars?

LGBT Nightlife Isn’t What it Used to Be. Is That a Good Thing?

by Andrew Keller If you were out and about in the 1980s, a walk through Wall Street, one of the city’s oldest LGBT establishments, might leave you a bit disoriented nowadays.

Those expecting the dark confines and pulsing rhythms of a dance club won’t be disappointed on days when such things are to be expected. On other days, though, visitors are greeted by a brightly lit, fully modern stage that, for the past two years, has hosted a handful of major productions, including a number of big Broadway shows.

Wall Street, according to owner Scot Hafler, is evolving. And it is not alone.

The gay bar, a cornerstone of LGBT communities far and wide, is changing, and changing fast. They were once social hubs, cultural centers, safe zones and escapes, the only comfortable places where people could meet others of the same sexual orientation or gender identity.

That’s how they started, though, according to Charles Kaiser, historian and author of The Gay Metropolis, a history of LGBT life in America since World War II. Gay bars were where LGBT people could be themselves without fear of consequence.

And they could do so in anonymity.

Because they were so secretive, bars popped up in seedy areas and often had ties to the mob. Police raids were common. Windows and signage were not.

The turning point was, of course, the Stonewall riots of 1969, when patrons of a besieged gay bar in New York fought back against the police and spurred the modern LGBT rights movement. After Stonewall, gay bars became less secretive and more plentiful throughout the country.

But even in the heyday of the 1960s and ’70s, they remained separate from straight society. Now many traditionally gay nightspots tout themselves as “mixed” and many traditionally straight clubs identify as “gay-friendly.” Hafler points to the decline in the number of gay bars and clubs in Columbus as a reflection of that trend.

out more of a weekend diversion - like catching a movie - than the anchor of their social lives or a chance to meet someone.

nightlife will suffer, and I don’t believe that’s the case,” he said, “What will make the nightclub business suffer will be if we don’t change with the culture. It’s a basic business principle. You’ve got to be attractive to the demographic.”

“I always go with a group, and I head immediately to the dance floor,” said Ryan Coleman, president of Pride OSU, who bemoans what he sees as a lack And to be attractive to the demographic, Hafler of variety in local gay nightlife. hasn’t simply revamped Wall Street, he has worked to re-imagine it. After building a new stage to host Artie Rothenberg, a graduate student at Ohio State, shows two years ago, Wall Street has played host to said he sometimes goes months without a night productions as diverse as Spring Awakening, Avout at the bars. enue Q and Hairspray, many in the name of charity.

“I think it’s lost - I’m not sure if importance is the right word - but its necessity, I guess,” he said.

“It’s not as vital as it used to be.”

Brad Davis doesn’t go out as much, either, but he’s old enough to remember a livelier era. He describes a Columbus bar scene of the 1980s full of dancing, drinking and all kinds of stuff that went on in a not-so-secret afterhours area of the now-defunct Eagle. What does he think of today’s nightlife? “It’s boring,” he said.

“One of the things that has provided Wall Street with its longevity, it’s that I refer to it as a community center,” he said. “People can approach us and say, ‘We’d like to do something to raise funds for BRAVO,’ and, well, we produce The Vagina Monologues here every year and proceeds go to BRAVO. We do big production shows every year for Camp Sunrise. These are things that are important to the LGBT community, and we provide a venue for raising funds and gathering for these causes.”

Gay bars also are shedding the other-world image But let’s not be too quick to announce the fall of the entirely and doing what seemed almost unthinkgay bar. able in the ’70s: becoming popular with straight “When Wall Street opened 25 years ago, there were people. six or seven dance clubs in Columbus,” he said.

“I think there is a need. Definitely. When we [she “Today there are two: Wall Street and Axis.” (A and her girlfriend Ashley] lived in Cincinnati, we As he served drinks to a Friday night crowd at third, the Garage, is scheduled to open Downtown would only go to gay bars. We could be together Cavan Irish Pub, Paul, the bartender, said it’s “Where we’ve seen a change is in the social envi- this winter.) and be more affectionate without having to worry,” things like karaoke and televised soccer that draw ronment and the oh-I’m-gonna-meet-someone said Andrea, a local teacher. crowds these days. mentality,” Hafler said. “There are more ways to do But fewer bars and clubs doesn’t necessarily mean that now. Not just through the community, but bigger crowds.

And for many, including Hafler, the change isn’t “It’s coming to the point now, gay bar/straight bar, through the Internet. Now you can share things real bad or even difficult. “I do hear conversation as the it doesn’t really matter,” he said. time on Facebook. The relevance of an LGBT club LGBT 20-somethings say gay bars and clubs still LGBT community is more accepted, that there’s as just a social outlet, that has changed.” play a part in their lives, but they consider going this fear that the LGBT culture and specifically the But in a world where being out doesn’t necessarily make you an outsider, that’s no longer the case.

Some are worried gay bars have lost their importance. For others such as Hafler, the trend simply means it’s time to adapt.

14 feb 2013

Is that a margarita without a salted rim? Blasphemy!

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by Bob Vitale Two 50-something men in matching black cowboy hats and red Western shirts are boot-scooting across the dance floor at Southbend Tavern. The only other person out there, a young guy in skinny jeans, T-shirt and infinity scarf, vogues to the same song.

At Slammers, nine women sit around two pushed-together tables in the window, enjoying pizza and pitchers. Three other women enjoy an unusually long wintertime cigarette break outside and talk about their jobs and love lives or the lack thereof.

A drag queen ends her show on the small stage at Fuel and introduces the first stripper of the night. The fog machine is warming up as the early crowd arrives at Axis. A boy in his briefs, a tuxedo jacket and top hat grabs a table near the floor.

It’s the weekend in Columbus, and gay bars are alive and well.

If you’ve read Andrew Keller’s story on Page 14 about the state of the gay bar (if you haven’t go back now! we’ll wait...), you might get the feeling our hangouts are on the decline. Or if you listen to people my age who reminisce

outlookcolumbus.com

AWOL Hours: Mon-Fri 2p-2:30a, Sat-Sun noon-2:30a In one word: “Down-to-Earth” Heath the bartender Special nights: Sundays: tea dance; Mondays: karaoke; Thursdays: karaoke; daily happy hours What the regulars say: Skip, who had his commitment-ceremony reception there: “They’ve seen me through my good and bad times.

AWOL has become family.” outlook’s take: AWOL is a jeansand-T-shirt place for guys who feel like they’re not part of any gay subset. It’s not bears, not twinks, not leather, just men. And women: Heath, who helped open the place 14 years ago, says about 20 percent of the regulars are lesbians and about 20 percent are straight. AWOL just remodeled its back bar, the Barracks.

Axis Hours: Fri-Sat 10p-2a In one word: “Energetic” - Michael Phalen, DJ Special nights: Fridays: strippers; Saturdays: drag What the regulars say: Dennis Morris, who compares Axis favorably to clubs in his native Philadelphia: “It’s edgy yet chill. It has good music and a good atmosphere. outlook’s take: There’s always dancing and always something more going on, whether its theme parties, strippers, drag or weeknight special events. Axis calls itself “the only place you can see over 1,000 men together enjoying the evening.”

But its much more mixed than that, although it’s definitely dominated by a 20s crowd. It’s one of the more welcoming places to take your straight friends.

Cavan Irish Pub Hours: Mon-Fri 2p-2:30a, Sat-Sun noon-2:30a In one word: “Comfort” - Paul the bartender Special nights: Sundays: drag queen bingo; Tuesdays: karaoke, TBone Tuesday; Fridays: karaoke; daily happy hours What the regulars say: Debbie J. Van Bommel, who’s one of outlook’s February guest-bloggers: “There’s so much love here.” outlook’s take: More than one Columbus bar-goer described a favorite hangout to us as Cheers-like, but Cavan is probably most deserving of the description. You get the feeling everyone knows everyone here, but they’re happy you’re there, too. It’s a 30s-and-older type of place, where people are over the bar scene but still enjoy a night out. And we love the idea of T-Bone Tuesdays, a bring-your-own-meat grill-fest.

Club Diversity Hours: Mon-Thu 4p-midnight, Fri 4p-2:30a, Sat noon-2:30a, Sun 1pmidnight In one word: “Safe” - Rick the bartender Special nights: Sundays: karaoke; Tuesdays: movie night; Thursdays: piano What the regulars say: Danielle, whose martini of choice comes with a twist: "It's not clubby and it's not crazy.

I like the music. I like the patio. I like the martinis!" outlook’s take: Club Diversity is a good place to impress a first date. It’s tasteful and mellow, a place to go for a nice night out, not a night you won’t be able to remember the next day. Or at least it’s the place to go before you get to that part of your night; it’s popular with the pre-bar crowd, too. They claim to serve the best martinis in Columbus, and we won’t argue with that when it comes to their Chocolatini.

about the good old days, you might get the impression that bars haven’t been fun since the Clinton years.

Chris Hayes, Chad Frye, Erin McCalla and I decided to visit every gay bar in Columbus to see for ourselves how they’re doing. And we reached some conclusions at the end of what became known as our Big Gay Bar Crawl, an excursion spread out over three nights to the 14 bars, clubs, restaurants and lounges that identify themselves not as gayfriendly, not as we-don’t-like-labels, but as rainbow-flag-flying, Gaga-blasting, softball-sponsoring gay.

• One: As Andrew wrote, gay bars are evolving. The cruisy, dimly lit - and admit it, somewhat exciting - dives of the past are largely gone. Today’s nightspots are brighter, livelier, less sexual and more social.

• Two: There’s a lot going on out there. Someone’s hosting something every night of the week: drag shows, strippers, karaoke, crab races, dart leagues, happy hours, open-mic nights, movies and more.

• Three: There’s a place for all of us. The bars run from A-list gay social to neighborhood hangout to lesbian dance club to bear and leather to mirror-ball disco to mellow lounge.

Everyone has a favorite. We now have 14.

What's your favorite place? Like us on Facebook and weigh in!

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Club 20 Hours: Noon-2:30a every day In one word: “Family” - Bonnie the bartender Special nights: Sundays, Mondays: strippers; Tuesdays: bingo; Wednesdays: darts; Fridays: karaoke; daily happy hours What the regulars say: Don, who sticks to the High Street corridor for gay nightlife: “It’s homey. I’ve been coming here 10, 15 years. It’s my home bar.” outlook’s take: “Always a Show, Never a Cover,” is Club 20’s motto. It’s another place that deserves the Cheers-y label. As bartender Bonnie Gehrig said: “We open up the door, we holler at you and let you in.” The calendar is full of events and drink specials, and they’re not just pushing the well stuff.

On various nights, Stoli, 3 Olives, Absolut, Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and Red Stag drinks are $3.

Exile Hours: Tue-Sat 4p-2:30a, Sun 3p-2:30a, Mon closed In one word: “Hairy” - Jay the bartender Special nights: Sundays: strippers; Tuesdays: strippers, DILF happy hour; Wednesdays: karaoke, bear happy hour; Thursdays: crab races; daily happy hours What the regulars say: Stan, who likes that Exile remains predominantly a bar for men: “I keep coming back for the socializing and non-judgmental crowd.” outlook’s take: Don’t let the giant St. Andrew’s cross scare you: It’s more of a nod to Exile’s roots in the leather community than a functioning bondage device.

Or is it? Exile is also Columbus’ bear bar, although bartender Jay calls it a melting pot. Among the more popular events is BackTrax, a ’70s and ’80s dance night on the first Friday of every month. Exile also features a Torso outlet that’s open after 9p.

Fuel Hours: Mon-Sat 4p-2a, Sun closed In one word: “Different” - Vivi Velure Special nights: Fridays: bear happy hour, drag, strippers; Saturdays: drag What the regulars say: Vivi Velure, who calls Fuel’s shows a refreshing change of pace: “It’s more gritty, burlesquey, raw. It’s more of a comedy/stripper extravaganza.” outlook’s take: Fuel opened last fall in the spot that used to house the Merion Village drag bar Somewhere Else. It feels like it’s still getting on its feet, but it has a crowd of regulars who enjoy the show and play along with the drag queens and strippers. It’s not the kind of place where a show is just background noise.

Level Dining Lounge Hours: 11a-2:30a every day In one word: “Colorful” - Brian the bartender Special nights: Sundays: Broadway Sundays; Mondays: all-day happy hour; Wednesdays: Wine Wednesdays; Saturdays: live DJ What the regulars say: Keith. who enjoys dinners and drinks at Level: "It's just a great bar and restaurant.

The food is great, the staff is attentive and attractive, and there's a great mix of patrons." outlook’s take: Level is a one-stop shop for all your gay socializing needs. The restaurant - its menu changes monthly and ranges from burgers and sandwiches to full entrees - serves food from 11a-11p.

The bar serves drinks until 2:30a.

The downstairs turns from quiet dining to raucous party, while the upstairs can be a relaxed lounge or a drag and entertainment venue.

Slammers Hours: Mon-Tue noon-midnight, Wed-Thu 11am-12:30a, Fri 11a2:30a, Sat 4p-2:30a, Sun 2p-12:30a In one word: “Lesbo-dacious” - Kez the bartender Special nights: Wednesday: pizza buffet; daily happy hours; monthly burlesque/karaoke combo, “Burlesque-aoke” What the regulars say: Josie: “This is the last lesbian bar in town, man.” outlook’s take: While Wall Street calls itself lesbian-focused, Slammers calls itself a lesbian bar. Here’s the difference: Although men are welcome at Slammers, there are no boys’ nights and no drag shows.

Slammers has a laid-back sportsbar feel and a great juke box. It’s known for its pizza (cinnamon sounds weird but really works on the Hawaiian pie) although it offers a full lunch and dinner menu.

Southbend Tavern Hours: Mon-Sat noon-2:30a, Sun closed In one word: “Eclectic” - Joey the bartender Special nights: Sundays: Bloody Mary Sundays; Mondays: karaoke; Tuesdays: open mic; Wednesdays: darts, bingo; Thursdays-Saturdays: drag What the regulars say: Connie, who was out with friends: “It’s a neighborhood bar with plenty of gay and straight locals. Everyone gets along.” outlook’s take: It’s crowded, but everyone can find a table. It’s noisy, but you can still talk to your friends.

Southbend Tavern is more than a quiet neighborhood bar, but it’s not quite a dance club. No one’s waving his shirt over his head or twirling glowsticks, but people aren’t sitting around nursing their drinks either.

The crowd is very mixed by age, race and gender.

Toolbox Saloon Hours: Mon-Sat noon-2:30a, Sun noon8p In one word: “Diverse” - Rob the bartender Special nights: Monday: Undie Monday; Tuesdays: euchre, karaoke, open stage; Wednesdays: darts, drag; ThursdaysSundays: strippers; Fridays: karaoke What the regulars say: We didn’t get his name (it was our fourth stop!), but he said: “This is just my place. I live in Reynoldsburg, but I’ll drive here for the cold beer and friendly service.” outlook’s take: Friendly bartenders serve inexpensive drinks at the Toolbox, and you get the feeling you’re just hanging out with friends in someone’s basement bar. People there welcome newcomers. Within minutes we knew the bartenders and Ken the co-owner, we were singing karaoke, and we were winning at the claw machine. They have one hell of a winnable claw machine.

Tremont Lounge Hours: 1p-2:30a every day In one word: “Open” - Ben, a regular Special nights: Tuesdays and Thursdays: free darts happy hour; Wednesdays and Saturdays: karaoke; daily happy hours What the regulars say: Doug, who recommends the Saturday karaoke night: “I come here because it isn’t pretentious ... and because it isn’t the Short North. It’s different and authentic.” outlook’s take: Some describe the Tremont as the last true throwback gay bar in Columbus. For many, it was their first gay bar experience.

“Tremont is not trying to be something it’s not,” said Aaron the bartender. “We are not a club or a dance club - but the floor by the jukebox becomes a dance floor.” The crowd is young and older, racially diverse, and the mood shifts from quiet to loud throughout the night.

Union Cafe Hours: Mon-Sat 11a-2:30a; Sun 10:30a-2:30a In one word: “Rowdy” - KC the bartender Special nights: Sundays: brunch buffet, show-tune sing-along; Mondays: karaoke; Thursdays: drag; daily happy hours What the regulars say: Charlie, who says the servers treat him like family: “There’s always a lot of young new people, but there’s always the same crowd, too.” outlook’s take: Like Level, Union is a restaurant/bar complete night out combo. Although it’s popular as a pre-club dinner spot for those on their way to Axis or elsewhere, it’s also a destination for the 30-something crowd that’s outgrown the dance-’til-you-drop marathons but isn’t ready for a quiet night out.

Wallstreet Night Club Hours: Wed 9p-2:30a, Thu 8p-2:30a, Fri 8p-2:30a, Sat 9p-2:30a, Sun (open for shows only) 7p-11p In one word: “Memories” - Candice the bartender Special nights: Wednesdays: Boys Night Out; Thursdays: country (8p-11p), hiphop (11p-2:30p); Fridays: lesbian dance party (1st Friday of the month), Mighty Real Gay Anthems (2nd), hip-hop/R&B (3rd), open stage (4th); Sundays: drag What the regulars say: Andrea, who affectionately calls it just “Wall”: “If you really wanna go dance, it’s the place.” outlook’s take: Wall Street remains true to its history as a lesbian dance club, but its special-event nights run the gamut. It does country and hiphop (in one night, no less!). It claims the Midwest’s biggest lesbian dance party, which takes place the first Friday of every month. It’s also home to Traxx Columbus, an expansion of the popular black LGBT club in Atlanta.

16 feb 2013

Don't forget: Tip your servers and bartenders... they tend to pour better when you do!

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Axis

Club Diversity

Club 20

Exile

Fuel

Level Dining Lounge

Southbend Tavern

Toolbox Saloon

Tremont

outlookcolumbus.com

It's a fact: With just four quarters, Chris Hayes won four stuffed animals in 20 minutes at the Toolbox.

feb 2013

17

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28 Tiesto @ Nationwide Arena, 200 W Nationwide Blvd, 614.246.2000, www.nationwidearena.com: The DJ who worked with Kanye, Coldplay and Katy Perry brings his Club Life College Invasion Tour to Cbus.

7p; $25-$38.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9 THESE GUYS KNOW HOW TO HIT Columbus Coyotes: Rugby 101 @ Wolfe Park, 105 Park Dr, columbuscoyotesrfc@gmail.com, www.facebook.com/groups/ColumbusCoyotesRFC: Come learn how to ruck, tackle and maul with central Ohio’s premier gay rugby team. 10a; free.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28 MUSCLES ABOUND Arnold Sports Festival @ Greater Columbus Convention Center, 614.431.2600, www.arnoldsportsfestival.com: The Governator returns to Cbus to pump... you up. Thu 6p-11p, Fri-Sat 8a-10p, Sunday 8a-6p. $15 EXPO ticket, $10 in advance.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 26 Central Ohio Home and Garden Show @ Ohio Expo Center, 717 E 17th Ave, 614.461.5257, www.dispatchevents.com: Spring will be here before you know it, or at least that is what I keep telling myself.

Noon-8p; $12.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 19 MY NAME IS LUKA, I LIVE ON THE 2ND FLOOR Suzanne Vega @ Lincoln Theatre, 769 E Long St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: Singer/songwriter Suzanne Vega first appeared in the 1980s as a purveyor of infectious, earworm songs. Go ahead, try to get “Luka” or “Tom’s Diner” out of your head. Opening artist Noah Chenfeld. 8p; $20-$25.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16 SO HIGH YOU CAN’T GET OVER IT George Clinton @ Lifestyles Communities Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, 614.461.5483, www.promowestlive.com: This Clinton is nothing like that political power couple you are thinking of. We want the funk, and he brings it. 7p; $28 advance, $30 day of show.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 19 AND THE OSCAR GOES TO...

Oscar Shorts @ Gateway Film Center, 1550 N High St, 614.545.2255, www.gatewayfilmcenter.com: For those of us interested in quanity, here’s a perfect Outlook Nights Out. Come see all the Oscar-nominated short films in one sitting. Bring a date or a friend or your mom, because it’s buy-one-getone free tickets and half-off drinks! It’s just our way of giving back. That, and we are all broke and really love a good deal. Discount available at the door only. Mention outlook. $9.50 for two; check show times.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 17 SEE ME, TOUCH ME, FEEL ME The Who @ the Schottenstein Center, 555 Borror Dr, 1.800.ARENA.01, www.schottensteincenter.com: They do more than provide the music for CSI Miami’s opening credits. Rock legends Pete Townsend and Roger Daltrey perform their classic album “Quadrophenia” in its entirety. You better, you bet. 7:30p; $36.50-$126.50.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 3 WHERE THE GIN IS COLD, AND THE PIANO’S HOT Chicago @ Shadowbox Live, 503 S Front St #260, 614.416.7625, www.shadowboxlive.org: Murder has never been so sexy. Join Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly in the Windy City in this legendary musical.

2p and 7p (Every Sunday in Feb); $30.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8 DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY...

LITERALLY BuckeyeThon @ Ohio Union, 1739 N High St, www.buckeyethon.osu.edu: Dance for a cause, and help raise a ton of money while you’re at it. Benefitting Nationwide Children’s Hospital and the fight against pediatric cancer, BuckeyeThon is split into two 12-hour dance shifts.

Be sure to stay hydrated. 8p-8a (second shift Feb 9 11a-11p); free.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9 GOOD THING YOU’RE NOT PAYING AN ANNUAL FEE Shen Yun 2013 @ Ohio Theatre, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, shenyun2013.org: Talk about getting your money’s worth: The traveling show of classical Chinese dance, music and costumes - returning to Columbus for a second year - promises 5,000 years of culture in two hours. 7:30p (also 2p Sunday); $50-$120.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9 DO YOU HAVE THE TIME? Christian Marclay: The Clock @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: For the insomniacs out there, this is the perfect exhibit. Marclay pieces together film scenes of watches and clocks in the 24-hour film. Wexner will be open all night long so you can see the clocks at any time you want on this day. 11a-11a; free for members, college students, $8 general public, $6 senior citizens.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 1 BUCKEYE PRIDE Pride Night at the Schott: OSU Men’s Hockey vs. Notre Dame @ the Schottenstein Center, 555 Borror Dr, 1.800.ARENA.01, www.gayhockeyohio.com: We do more than figureskate, you know. Outlook and Gay Hockey Ohio, host a night out that includes the Buckeyes and a post-game skate. A portion of each ticket sale will help support the Kaleidoscope Youth Center. 7p; $10.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12 MARDI GRAS/FAT TUESDAY

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TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 5 LACE UP YOUR BLUE SUEDE SHOES Million Dollar Quartet @ Palace Theatre, 34 W Broad St, 800.294.1892, www.capa.com: This award-winning musical centers around the legendary recording session with Elvis, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins.

There’s a whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on. 8p (Runs Feb 5 – 10); $35-$95.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14 FOR ALL THOSE LOVE BIRDS Pride and Prejudice @ Studio Two Riffe Center, 77 S High St, 614.558.7408, www.avltheatre.com: Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Jane Austen’s classic love story, revived by the Available Light Theatre for a limited time. 8p; $22.50.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 22 OPENING NIGHT! Ordinary Days @ Short North Stage, 1187 N High St, 614.725.4042, www.shortnorthstage.org: Four New Yorkers’ lives intersect in unexpected ways in this coming-of-age musical. 8p (runs through March 9); $23.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21 OUTLOOK NIGHT OUT Red @ Riffe Center, 77 S High St, 614.469.0939. www.catco.org: Coordinating their schedule with the Columbus Museum of Art’s Mark Rothko exhibit, CATCO presents this award-winning play about the artist as he prepares a mural for a large restaurant in New York city during the 1950s.

Join us for half-priced drinks and two-for-one tickets as a part of our Outlook Nights Out. 8p; $30-$45.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23 ERIN OWNS THE HATS TO OUTFIT THE WHOLE GROUP Village People @ Hollywood Casino, 200 Georgesville Rd, 614.308.3333, www.hollywoodcolumbus.com: Think it’s fun to stay at the YMCA or to join the Navy? The Village People have thought so for over 30 years. There are even three original members who still tour - talk about macho, macho men. 9p; $19.99, $29.99.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20 FOR ALL DISNEY PRINCESS WANNABES Disney on Ice @ Nationwide Arena, 200 W Nationwide Blvd, 614.246.2000, www.nationwidearena.com: All your favorites from Disney’s animated features come together for the latest Disney skating show, titled “Treasure Trove.” (Runs through Sunday, including weekend afternoon shows.) 7p; $17-$48.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 7 DO YOU LIKE AMERICAN MUSIC? A Short History of Jazz @ Southern Theatre, 21 E Main St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: Explore jazz from its beginnings to the contemporary style we see today. Columbus Jazz Orchestra and Columbus Youth Jazz Orchestra play side by side. 7:30p; $30-$52.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 6 WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Mark Rothko: The Decisive Decade @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E Broad St, 614.221.6801, www.columbusmuseum.org: With over 30 paintings by surrealist Mark Rothko, this exhibition is the first of its kind to come to Columbus. 10a5:30p (show runs through May); $12 adults, $8 seniors/students.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14 VALENTINE’S DAY WITH SOPHISTICATION Valentine’s Dinner by Candlelight @ Camelot Cellars Winery, 958 N High St, 614.441.8860, www.dinnerbycandlelight.eventbright.com: Enjoy Valentine’s Day with a fine dining experience like no other.

A carefully constructed menu and impeccable wine selection guarantee a romantic evening for you and yours. Tables are limited so be sure to reserve ASAP! 7p; $95.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15 Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus Vox/What I Did For Love @ Columbus Performing Arts Center’s Van Fleet Theatre, 549 Franklin Ave, 614.228.2462, www.cgmc.com/vox: If you’re still in love the day after Valentine’s, the chorus’ 16-member ensemble explores the many journeys where love can take us. 8p (also 8p Saturday); $20.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13 OK FINE… JUST ONE MORE NIGHT Maroon 5 @ Schottenstein Center, 555 Borror Dr, 1.800.ARENA.01, www.schottensteincenter.com: Is it worth the money to see Adam Levine sing the sexual “One More Night” hit? Yes. Yes it is. 7:30p; $26.50-$72.50.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8 WITS FROM THE WINDY CITY Second City @ Lincoln Theater, 769 E Long St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: Chicago’s legendary improv comedy group, which has produced the likes of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, hits the road for “Laughing Matters,” a show dedicated to dissecting politics, pop culture, current events and other meaty subjects. 8p; $30.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 4 NEVERMIND THE BOLLOCKS Punk Rock Karaoke @ Circus Bar, 1227 N High St, 614.421.2998, www.facebook.com/circuscolumbus: Make Syd Vicious proud, just don’t do all the terrible things he did to every person ever. 9:30p; free.

out & about

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28 Tiesto @ Nationwide Arena, 200 W Nationwide Blvd, 614.246.2000, www.nationwidearena.com: The DJ who worked with Kanye, Coldplay and Katy Perry brings his Club Life College Invasion Tour to Cbus.

7p; $25-$38.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9 THESE GUYS KNOW HOW TO HIT Columbus Coyotes: Rugby 101 @ Wolfe Park, 105 Park Dr, columbuscoyotesrfc@gmail.com, www.facebook.com/groups/ColumbusCoyotesRFC: Come learn how to ruck, tackle and maul with central Ohio’s premier gay rugby team. 10a; free.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28 MUSCLES ABOUND Arnold Sports Festival @ Greater Columbus Convention Center, 614.431.2600, www.arnoldsportsfestival.com: The Governator returns to Cbus to pump... you up. Thu 6p-11p, Fri-Sat 8a-10p, Sunday 8a-6p. $15 EXPO ticket, $10 in advance.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 26 Central Ohio Home and Garden Show @ Ohio Expo Center, 717 E 17th Ave, 614.461.5257, www.dispatchevents.com: Spring will be here before you know it, or at least that is what I keep telling myself.

Noon-8p; $12.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 19 MY NAME IS LUKA, I LIVE ON THE 2ND FLOOR Suzanne Vega @ Lincoln Theatre, 769 E Long St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: Singer/songwriter Suzanne Vega first appeared in the 1980s as a purveyor of infectious, earworm songs. Go ahead, try to get “Luka” or “Tom’s Diner” out of your head. Opening artist Noah Chenfeld. 8p; $20-$25.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16 SO HIGH YOU CAN’T GET OVER IT George Clinton @ Lifestyles Communities Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, 614.461.5483, www.promowestlive.com: This Clinton is nothing like that political power couple you are thinking of. We want the funk, and he brings it. 7p; $28 advance, $30 day of show.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 19 AND THE OSCAR GOES TO...

Oscar Shorts @ Gateway Film Center, 1550 N High St, 614.545.2255, www.gatewayfilmcenter.com: For those of us interested in quanity, here’s a perfect Outlook Nights Out. Come see all the Oscar-nominated short films in one sitting. Bring a date or a friend or your mom, because it’s buy-one-getone free tickets and half-off drinks! It’s just our way of giving back. That, and we are all broke and really love a good deal. Discount available at the door only. Mention outlook. $9.50 for two; check show times.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 17 SEE ME, TOUCH ME, FEEL ME The Who @ the Schottenstein Center, 555 Borror Dr, 1.800.ARENA.01, www.schottensteincenter.com: They do more than provide the music for CSI Miami’s opening credits. Rock legends Pete Townsend and Roger Daltrey perform their classic album “Quadrophenia” in its entirety. You better, you bet. 7:30p; $36.50-$126.50.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 3 WHERE THE GIN IS COLD, AND THE PIANO’S HOT Chicago @ Shadowbox Live, 503 S Front St #260, 614.416.7625, www.shadowboxlive.org: Murder has never been so sexy. Join Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly in the Windy City in this legendary musical.

2p and 7p (Every Sunday in Feb); $30.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8 DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY...

LITERALLY BuckeyeThon @ Ohio Union, 1739 N High St, www.buckeyethon.osu.edu: Dance for a cause, and help raise a ton of money while you’re at it. Benefitting Nationwide Children’s Hospital and the fight against pediatric cancer, BuckeyeThon is split into two 12-hour dance shifts.

Be sure to stay hydrated. 8p-8a (second shift Feb 9 11a-11p); free.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9 GOOD THING YOU’RE NOT PAYING AN ANNUAL FEE Shen Yun 2013 @ Ohio Theatre, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, shenyun2013.org: Talk about getting your money’s worth: The traveling show of classical Chinese dance, music and costumes - returning to Columbus for a second year - promises 5,000 years of culture in two hours. 7:30p (also 2p Sunday); $50-$120.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9 DO YOU HAVE THE TIME? Christian Marclay: The Clock @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: For the insomniacs out there, this is the perfect exhibit. Marclay pieces together film scenes of watches and clocks in the 24-hour film. Wexner will be open all night long so you can see the clocks at any time you want on this day. 11a-11a; free for members, college students, $8 general public, $6 senior citizens.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 1 BUCKEYE PRIDE Pride Night at the Schott: OSU Men’s Hockey vs. Notre Dame @ the Schottenstein Center, 555 Borror Dr, 1.800.ARENA.01, www.gayhockeyohio.com: We do more than figureskate, you know. Outlook and Gay Hockey Ohio, host a night out that includes the Buckeyes and a post-game skate. A portion of each ticket sale will help support the Kaleidoscope Youth Center. 7p; $10.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12 MARDI GRAS/FAT TUESDAY

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TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 5 LACE UP YOUR BLUE SUEDE SHOES Million Dollar Quartet @ Palace Theatre, 34 W Broad St, 800.294.1892, www.capa.com: This award-winning musical centers around the legendary recording session with Elvis, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins.

There’s a whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on. 8p (Runs Feb 5 – 10); $35-$95.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14 FOR ALL THOSE LOVE BIRDS Pride and Prejudice @ Studio Two Riffe Center, 77 S High St, 614.558.7408, www.avltheatre.com: Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Jane Austen’s classic love story, revived by the Available Light Theatre for a limited time. 8p; $22.50.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 22 OPENING NIGHT! Ordinary Days @ Short North Stage, 1187 N High St, 614.725.4042, www.shortnorthstage.org: Four New Yorkers’ lives intersect in unexpected ways in this coming-of-age musical. 8p (runs through March 9); $23.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21 OUTLOOK NIGHT OUT Red @ Riffe Center, 77 S High St, 614.469.0939. www.catco.org: Coordinating their schedule with the Columbus Museum of Art’s Mark Rothko exhibit, CATCO presents this award-winning play about the artist as he prepares a mural for a large restaurant in New York city during the 1950s.

Join us for half-priced drinks and two-for-one tickets as a part of our Outlook Nights Out. 8p; $30-$45.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23 ERIN OWNS THE HATS TO OUTFIT THE WHOLE GROUP Village People @ Hollywood Casino, 200 Georgesville Rd, 614.308.3333, www.hollywoodcolumbus.com: Think it’s fun to stay at the YMCA or to join the Navy? The Village People have thought so for over 30 years. There are even three original members who still tour - talk about macho, macho men. 9p; $19.99, $29.99.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20 FOR ALL DISNEY PRINCESS WANNABES Disney on Ice @ Nationwide Arena, 200 W Nationwide Blvd, 614.246.2000, www.nationwidearena.com: All your favorites from Disney’s animated features come together for the latest Disney skating show, titled “Treasure Trove.” (Runs through Sunday, including weekend afternoon shows.) 7p; $17-$48.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 7 DO YOU LIKE AMERICAN MUSIC? A Short History of Jazz @ Southern Theatre, 21 E Main St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: Explore jazz from its beginnings to the contemporary style we see today. Columbus Jazz Orchestra and Columbus Youth Jazz Orchestra play side by side. 7:30p; $30-$52.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 6 WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Mark Rothko: The Decisive Decade @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E Broad St, 614.221.6801, www.columbusmuseum.org: With over 30 paintings by surrealist Mark Rothko, this exhibition is the first of its kind to come to Columbus. 10a5:30p (show runs through May); $12 adults, $8 seniors/students.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14 VALENTINE’S DAY WITH SOPHISTICATION Valentine’s Dinner by Candlelight @ Camelot Cellars Winery, 958 N High St, 614.441.8860, www.dinnerbycandlelight.eventbright.com: Enjoy Valentine’s Day with a fine dining experience like no other.

A carefully constructed menu and impeccable wine selection guarantee a romantic evening for you and yours. Tables are limited so be sure to reserve ASAP! 7p; $95.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15 Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus Vox/What I Did For Love @ Columbus Performing Arts Center’s Van Fleet Theatre, 549 Franklin Ave, 614.228.2462, www.cgmc.com/vox: If you’re still in love the day after Valentine’s, the chorus’ 16-member ensemble explores the many journeys where love can take us. 8p (also 8p Saturday); $20.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13 OK FINE… JUST ONE MORE NIGHT Maroon 5 @ Schottenstein Center, 555 Borror Dr, 1.800.ARENA.01, www.schottensteincenter.com: Is it worth the money to see Adam Levine sing the sexual “One More Night” hit? Yes. Yes it is. 7:30p; $26.50-$72.50.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8 WITS FROM THE WINDY CITY Second City @ Lincoln Theater, 769 E Long St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: Chicago’s legendary improv comedy group, which has produced the likes of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, hits the road for “Laughing Matters,” a show dedicated to dissecting politics, pop culture, current events and other meaty subjects. 8p; $30.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 4 NEVERMIND THE BOLLOCKS Punk Rock Karaoke @ Circus Bar, 1227 N High St, 614.421.2998, www.facebook.com/circuscolumbus: Make Syd Vicious proud, just don’t do all the terrible things he did to every person ever. 9:30p; free.

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Promiscuous Boys Everyone Thinks Everyone Else Is Slutty

by Mackenzie Worrall Are you a gay man in Columbus? Do you use Facebook? This first part is old news then: A survey released by SeekingArrangement.com listed Columbus as the fifth most-promiscuous gay city in America.

Your re-post of this information for all your friends probably read something like: “why am i not gtting any???” (spelling errors, included).

The survey was conducted in response to a New York Post study that claimed 67 percent of heterosexual men joined dating websites just to get laid. SeekingArrangement.com polled its 11,000 gay male members to find how many join dating websites for the same reason. They got a relatively unsurprising 82 percent result on that.

The interesting part is when they asked how many of their members had more than 10 sexual partners in the past year, only West Hollywood, D.C., San Francisco and Seattle ranked above Columbus.

When their spokesman was a bit dodgy about how the survey was conducted, I joined SeekingArrangement.com. It’s pretty much exactly what you expect. Sugar daddies and sugar mommies can meet sugar babies of either or both sexes. I only found eight gay sugar daddies in the Columbus area, most of whom hadn’t logged on in months.

That means only two or three gay sugar daddies had the opportunity to see the survey. They must be busy, busy men.

“I disagree with the survey. That was my first reaction,” said Coley Cummiskey, the creator of Columbus-based GROWLr, a free app for bears to meet other bears. “Their sampling wasn’t random. It was 11,000 of their own members on a sugar-daddy dating website, so there’s already bias. Then you have to get your members to respond to the survey. Probably only 10 percent re-

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sponded, from my own experience with conducting online surveys.”

Cummiskey defines promiscuity on his app as blatantly soliciting for sex, posting nude photos and anything else that gets users suspended. The biggest cities obviously have the most terms-ofservice violations, but Cummiskey was surprised to see that SeekingArrangement.com listed Columbus so high.

In his experience, the United States isn’t even the promiscuous part of the world.

“The Middle East is easily the most promiscuous, in my opinion,” Cummiskey said. That’s based on the volume of GROWLr violations for underage users, inappropriate solicitation, nudity in public photos, lewd or suggestive behavior, or more.

So with two opposite conclusions, I conducted my own informal survey. I asked just four questions: - What sex do you identify as? (male, female, not listed here) - What sex are your partners typically? (same sex, opposite sex, mix of sexes, not listed here) - How many sexual partners did you have 2012?

- How many sexual partners do you consider promiscuous?

There are a few biases built into my survey. Most respondents lived in Columbus for most of 2012, and even the straight respondents were gayfriendly since they knew me or had liked “Outlook Columbus Magazine” on Facebook.

All but four people didn’t consider themselves promiscuous based on the numbers they provided. This explains our collective Will Trumanesque whining on Facebook. None of us thinks we’re promiscuous. If you read a study that says the average gay man in Columbus is reaching promiscuous levels of sex, you’re going to think they’re talking about everyone else.

(But no fear, gay men of Columbus. You’re still getting it at least six times as much as the aver-

age straight respondent, male or female.)

For all you straight ladies out there, here’s proof of societal pressure to have sex. On average, straight women listed 13.1 sexual partners for someone to be considered promiscuous. Gay men clocked in at 27.5 partners, but if you exclude those didn’t consider anything under 25 to be promiscuous, the average is down to 12.3.

In other words, gay men of a similar mindset to straight women actually believe in less promiscuity, even though average actual sex partners was 1.2 to 6.2, gay men. This could mean that straight women are also the most sex-positive, but since they were having the least amount of sex and the highest threshold for promiscuity, I read this as a lot of pressure to have the sex that they’re not having.

Boom, feminism.

There were a few other interesting points of note in the data. A few gay men were raising the average amount of sexual partners for the whole group. I also was astonished at how many gay men reported one sexual partner in 2012 (in monogamous relationships?) but said their promiscuity threshold was 100.

The only four respondents who would consider themselves promiscuous were gay men. And their average number of sexual partners was 59.3, well above every other group. Finally, I was surprised to see that gay women had the lowest threshold for promiscuity at seven partners, despite having the same number of partners as straight women.

What this all comes back to is whether or not we think of promiscuity as a bad thing. I purposefully left that out of the conversation with everyone I talked to.

Why do we want to pass judgment on people having more sex than we are? If someone had sex one time each with 10 partners, that’s less than one roll in the hay per month. That’s less sex than someone in one monogamous relationship had last year (hopefully).

Being respectful of other people’s sexual choices might help you be a more promiscuous boy. I can hear the wisdom of one Nelly Furtado echoing in my head: “You expect me to just let you hit it / But will you still respect me if you get it?”

Mackenzie Worrall’s family reads this publication. So, taking a page out of Kelly Williams Brown’s book, he will not be disclosing his level of promiscuity anytime soon.

How Much Is Too Much? *Promiscuity based on Mackenzie’s unscientific poll

Gay Men Straight Men Gay Women Straight Women

Surveyed # of Sexual Partners 10.3 1.0 1.2 1.2

# of Sexual Partners Surveyed Considers Promiscuous 27.5 10.8 7.0 13.1

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • And

the

GAy Men SAy

If they think: Promiscuous is less than 25 partners Promiscuous is 25+ partners Themselves promiscuous

If I use Mikey’s Slut Sauce for lube, does that make me slutty or just gross?

Average # of Sexual Partners Surveyed had in 1 year

6.2 19.2 59.3

Average # of Partners Surveyed Considered Promiscuous in 1 year

12.3 65.1 42.5

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Look! He’s making it rain... gay-fetti!

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by Romeo San Vicente

LOGO TURNS BACK TIME FOR CHER’S ’60S DRAMA Did you know Cher could write? Neither did we.

But the Oscar-winner is working with co-writer Ron Zimmerman on a drama pilot for gay cable channel Logo and she just might star in it, too. The script has no title just yet, but word is that Logo is looking for the period drama - to be set in 1960s Hollywood - to give them another hit show so reruns of Bewitched aren’t all they have up their sleeve besides RuPaul’s Drag Race.

And Hollywood in the 1960s is a world Cher remembers well, so the whole thing could take on an air of autobiography if she wants to spill the dirt. Word is that the show is not specifically gay, in spite of Logo’s participation. And Cher’s participation.

days when the fashionable world of Los Angeles lesbians soaped it up on premium cable. And we don’t really know anybody who watches The Real L Word and its contrived, scripted “reality,” yet apparently it’s still on TV and has a viewership of some sort.

But David Nevins, who makes these sorts of things happen at the cable channel, is eyeing a new, different sort of life for the brand as a standalone documentary. The idea: Get out of New York and Los Angeles, hit the road and make a real documentary (or two, or three or more) focusing on real lesbian communities in the places cameras usually don’t go, like the Midwest and the South and other places with no Prada boutiques or skateboard/smoothie/hair-salon hybrids.

Could gritty, true lives of gritty, true lesbians be the franchise’s next-phase salvation? It’s all in the ambiguously defined research stage right now, but get And... oh who’s kidding whom? It’s going to be really ready: This could all turn into something - what’s gay, especially if she’s writing a part for herself as a the right word? - real.

22-year-old pop-star ingénue.

WILL ‘L WORD’ COME BACK TO REAL LIFE? This might be news to you, but Showtime is still cashing in on The L Word.

It all seems very long ago and far away since the

TCM GIVING THE OSCARS DOCUMENTARY TREATMENT

So who better to direct a documentary feature about the Oscars themselves? The filmmaking partnership is shooting material now for a feature-length doc for Turner Classic Movies, one that will focus less on the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences itself and more on the history of the awards: the trends in nomination, the patterns of history that find themselves reflected in winners and losers, the snubs and oversights and upsets and controversies – in other words, the things people are genuinely interested in.

ably nebbishy as Larry in last year’s unexpectedly funny The Three Stooges.

But the real money and power come when you pull the strings, as Hayes has learned in his time as producer of Grimm and Hot in Cleveland. So it’s no shock to learn that the comic actor has a goofy game show up his sleeve, too.

Hollywood Game Night, based on his own idea, will place two contestants in a Hollywood cocktail party setting to mingle with celebrities (better name: Set to air during the channel’s Oscar Month in 2014, Drinking With The Stars) and compete for cash here’s hoping they secure that footage of Rob Lowe prizes. NBC already has ordered eight episodes for an unspecified future date. singing to Snow White. That was the best.

SEAN HAYES IS PLAYING THAT ‘HOLLYWOOD GAME’

Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman already have their own Academy Awards as the team behind 1984’s It’s not the same kind of exposure a weekly sitcom The Times of Harvey Milk and 1989’s Common brings, but Sean Hayes is still out there in front of Threads: Stories From The Quilt. the camera, whether it’s with his upcoming recurring role on Smash’s second season or unrecogniz-

Now to get some big names who will drink the contestants under the table and/or be cruel enough to sabotage their chances. Somebody get Lindsay Lohan and Tommy Lee Jones on the phone.

Romeo San Vicente’s Oscar party is clothing-optional. He can be reached at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

Mark Rothko, Untitled. 1949, Oil on canvas National Gallery of Art, Washington, Gift of The Mark Rothko Foundation, Inc., 1986.43.138 © 1998 Kate Rothko Prizel & Christopher Rothko / Arts Rights Society (ARS), New York

Rothko: In the Museum and On-Stage from the figurative, first toward Surrealism and eventually toward the exBest known for his signature color block paintings, clusive use of color,” curaMark Rothko is widely considered one of the most tor Dominique H. Vasseur said. “By the 1950s, influential and important 20th century American painters. The Decisive Decade, which opens Feb. 1 Rothko’s style had become at the Columbus Museum of Art, will be the first the singularly powerful, comprehensive display of his works here. emotionally charged colorfield paintings for which Mark Rothko: The Decisive Decade will be on display he is so famous.”

Feb. 1 through May 26.

This abstract exploration The exhibition features 37 paintings Rothko created of color seen in his later during the 1940s, a transitional period in his career. work, referred to as his Rothko’s earlier work, prior to that decade, saw more “multiform” paintings, is obvious inspiration from his peers and mentors, but perhaps what Rothko is it later became more unique and distinguishable. best known for. Often unHis painting style morphed from recognizable repre- titled, these multiform sentations and expressionism into a more abstract paintings were described by the artist as a way to and symbolic method of painting. explore basic human emotions. Rothko suffered a “[The exhibition] illustrates a critical period of number of personal hardships during the early part growth for the artist, when he shifted his focus away of his transition period, and he claimed that his inby Pete Lovering

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tention was to allow the audience to experience the same emotions when viewing his work that he felt while he was painting it.

Intimacy was one of Rothko’s most influential motivators in this period of his career. He liked to connect with the audience and get a genuine and unfiltered response. On numerous occasions people were moved to tears at his exhibitions, which the artist considered higher praise than any other form of art criticism.

Many of Rothko’s multiform paintings will be on display during the show’s run, in addition to his earlier,

Do you believe in life after love? Uh... No.

more traditional work.

“This exhibition allows visitors to follow [Rothko’s] path as an artist and develop a greater understanding of his work and its importance,” said Nannette Maciejunes, CMA’s executive director.

In addition to the exhibition at the museum, the Columbus Museum of Art and CATCO have coordinated their schedules for a run of Red, the Tony Award-winning play by John Logan that debuted in 2009. The show depicts Rothko as he works with an assistant, creating large murals for the Four Seasons restaurant in the late 1950s.

CMA and the Museum Store are open Tuesday through Sunday from 10a-5:30p, and until 8:30p every Thursday. Admission is $10 for adults, $8 for seniors and students 6 and older, and free for members and children 5 and younger. Admission is free every Sunday. For additional information, call 614.221.4848 or visit www.columbusmuseum.org. Red will play at Studio One at the Riffe Center from Feb. 13 through March 3. Tickets are available through Ticketmaster or by visiting www.catco.org.

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Guess who’s back,back, back...back again, gain, gain...

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Extraordinary Ordinary Days Comes to Town

by Tom Muzyka What could be better for the gays than musical theater? Über-musical theater!

That’s what I’m calling a musical that relies almost entirely on lyrics rather than dialogue, and that is what will be arriving at the Green Room at Short North Stage in late February.

Ordinary Days is a four-character musical, almost entirely sung, that seeks to discover meaning in life within New York City. Called “a quietly affecting show” by The New York Times, the über-musical is of course funny but also, as composer, playwright and fellow queer community member Adam Gwon says, “very honest.”

One of the four characters, a young gay man named Warren, is an aspiring artist working for a more established painter. During his work, Warren finds the notes to a dissertation on Virginia Woolf, lost by a young woman, which begins a path of discovery for him and the other characters.

But the musical doesn’t focus on Warren’s sexuality. Instead, his sexuality is just one facet of the character. For Gwon, “it became important to me that [Warren] being gay was not an issue for him or any other character in the show. That feels passé and uninteresting to me.”

It almost seems like a contradiction in terms: an über-musical with a gay protagonist who

24 feb 2013

isn’t grappling with issues of sexuality. But it reflects how queer sexuality is becoming more accepted as one aspect of a person rather than a defining trait in society. “It’s entirely possible to be a gay person and, you know, not give a hoot,” affirms Gwon.

In addition to this change of focus, another level of complexity comes into play for Warren’s character. Each actor taking on the role gives a different interpretation of Warren. As an outsider who is a little obsessive and optimistic to a fault, his conflicts come from interactions with the other characters. Each stage version has a different way of presenting this outsider status, and this run will be no different.

Zack Steele, a musical theater major at Wright State, will be playing Warren at Short North Stage. Steele is no stranger to theater or musicals, having most recently performed in Funny Girl. His other credits include Godspell and Les Miserables.

With the premiere of Ordinary Days, Columbus’s artistic portfolio joins the ranks of Vienna, London’s West End and New York. The production started out at Pennsylvania Centre Stage in 2008 and has even gone as far as Australia.

Just as notable, Gwon will be in town for the preview and opening of the musical. “This will be my first time in Columbus!” he says. “I’ve been to Dayton (where Human Race Theatre Company did Ordinary Days).”

He knows a lot of people in New York who are originally from Ohio, so let’s hope our expatriates haven’t given him the wrong impression.

Gwon linked up with Short North Stage through his work in Dayton and through his friend, Becca Shapiro, who is a board member at Short North. Shapiro and Gwon met when the two were living in New York.

How does Gwon create a musical hit? “I consider myself a songwriter rather than a playwright, so when I write songs, I just think, ‘Do your thing’ and when I write dialogue, I think, ‘Fake it!’”

Gwon is widely recognized as a rising young composer of American musical theater. He was recently named as one of the 50 to Watch by The Dramatist magazine. He won the 2008 Fred Ebb Award for excellence in musical theater and the 2011 Kleban Award in the lyricist category.

He also won the ASCAP Harold Harold Adamson award, the MAC John Wallowitch Award and commissions to write new musicals from the Signature Theatre, the South Coast Repertory and Broadway Across America. Other musicals include The Boy Detective Fails and Bernice Bobs Her Hair.

It’s important to Gwon that the songs serve the story and are part of the audience’s journey. He starts from the end and works his way backward, figuring out how the characters reach the

Is it me or does that guy look a lot like Joe Spinelli? Regardless, now I’m hungry.

finale through his songs.

This is the first musical that Gwon has written as well as composed, giving him more control over the direction of the musical. “Usually I leave that for a playwright,” he says. “Whether I’m collaborating or writing a whole show on my own, the larger story comes before the songs. I like to map out what’s going to happen in the show, and then decide what the songs should be and where they should go.”

Gwon actually started off performing before realizing his passion was for musical composition. “I started going on auditions for all kinds of things, theater and movies and TV shows.”

After auditioning for less-than-stellar gigs, he realized “that maybe I should spend my time creating work I thought was worth creating,” rather than put up with the mediocre status quo.

He’s already lining up his next projects. Besides working on other shows for the stage, he is branching out into writing for a webseries, Submissions Only, alongside former Ordinary Days cast member Kate Wetherhead. The series pokes fun at the world of new musical theater, which Gwon says is a refreshing break.

To learn more about Adam Gwon, visit adamgwon.com. Ticket prices and show times for Ordinary Days can be found at shortnorthstage.org.

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Collectively, the outlook staff will purchase all of Reverse Vanity Spa’s services. Especially the “intimate” ones.

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Out with the Old, in with The New Old Bar

by Tom Muzyka While some people go into hibernation mode in the dark of winter, other people see the season as an excuse to gather friends and loved ones near and entertain. And every good gay knows the best way to do this is to host a cocktail party.

It’s times like this that you need a modern guide to entertaining, with emphasis on the art of cocktail-making. And luckily, we’ve found a neat little book to help in this: The New Old Bar: Classic Cocktails and Salty Snacks from The Hearty Boys.

Steve McDonagh and Dan Smith are The Hearty Boys, the Chicago restaurant and catering couple who won the first series of The Next Food Network Star. They have catered events for President Obama and fed notables from Oprah Winfrey to Hillary Clinton. You can learn more about them at www.heartyboys.com.

I spoke with McDonagh about this collection of recipes.

Tom Muzyka: There are a lot of fun cocktails in the book. Did you have to do extensive research to find some hidden gems, or were most of these from your recipe collection? Do you have a process for creating/finding new drinks?

Steve McDonagh: I did a lot of research. This was a great excuse to pore through old, out-of-print cocktail books. I’d find an old guide and try the drinks and decide if they could be included as historical recipes or whether I needed to make ad-

26 feb 2013

justments for the “modern” palate. Sometimes a drink would sound delicious but needed too much tweaking to include. Often I’d use the bones of that cocktail as the basis for one of my original recipes.

TM: Can you describe your ideal cocktail party?

SM: I’ll tell you what I did at my last party. I offer two of my cocktails along with beer and wine (usually a sparkler; most recently I’ve been offering sparkling rosé). I find guests like to try different cocktails, so in order not to get anyone too liquored up I only offer two. I’ll choose one clear and one dark spirit, usually gin and whiskey. Depending on my mood I’ll make one of those drinks light and citrusy the other more intensely herbal with something like Benedictine or chartreuse.

The book is set up the way I like to use it; meaning I like to choose my main spirit and then go to the index and narrow down my options.

TM: I know the book is about cocktails and entertaining, but what is your stance on wine and beer? Do they have a place in the savvy host’s home? Or are they a waste of a good palate?

SM: Wine and beer a waste? You just hurt my soul a little bit there. They’re a must. There will always be a guest who won’t have a cocktail. Hard liquor simply doesn’t agree with some people. I also like to have beer around because I love cocktails but hate being drunk. So, I will switch to club soda and nurse a beer after two drinks.

TM: Do you use a lot of the recipes from the book in your life, or are these more for special

occasions and to impress the snobs?

SM: Good question that illustrates the purpose of the book. There are plenty of books out there written for cocktail geeks. This is not one of them. The New Old Bar is aimed at my regular clients who come to our restaurant or demos and want to know more about the cocktail movement. This book is written in easy-to-understand terms. It doesn’t call for purchasing and stocking multiple brands of spirits. It doesn’t require you to make your own tonic or house bitters. I wrote this to be the one guide the regular Joe would need in order to make a great cocktail before dinner.

TM: Bacon-infused bourbon. Wow. You list a lot of amazing infusions, syrups and other drink ingredients. Were these, like the cocktails themselves, hard to find?

SM: I enjoyed mixing it up with some infusions and syrups. But again, you can Google syrup recipes and find ones that are complicated and multi-step. Mine are all basically simple syrups (1:1 ratio sugar to water) with flavorings such as lavender or rosemary. I think the bacon-infused bourbon might be the most complicated of my infusions, but it’s a tricky one to get right. You don’t want to mess with bacon lovers by including a recipe that doesn’t really taste of bacon.

TM: I’ve never heard of shrubs before, the vinegar-preserved fruits and juices. Is this a new trend the connoisseur should be looking for?

SM: Shrubs are so cool! I love any drink that has a back story and historical relevance. Shrubs were a way of preserving fruit in colonial America.

Do you think they drank all of the cocktails?

What is so great about the use in these cocktails is the vinegar tang that hits the back of your throat. It’s one of those recipes (whether food or drink) that makes your guest stop and ask, “Wow, what is that in there that is so unusual?” The use of strawberry and balsamic with scotch in my Toast & Jam makes for a really layered and intriguing cocktail.

TM: Speaking of bacon, there are some tempting bar snack recipes (including my all-time favorite, poutine!) in the book. How can you possibly make any of the delicious-but-lessthan-healthy snacks here, enjoy this smorgasbord of drink options, and avoid tingling and/or numbness in your extremities? What types of food and drink would you recommend to the health-obsessed?

SM: Can I quote my friend Paula Deen? “Honey, I’m your cook, not your doctor.” This is a party book. I’m giving you three hours off of worrying about your waistline to have a cocktail and something crunchy and salty. That being said, there are lower calorie options like the Chili Lime Pepitas, Curry Chive Popcorn, Middle Eastern Spiced Almonds, and the Pickled Radishes with Sea Salt (one of my very favorites).

TM: Finally and most importantly, how quickly can you cater my birthday? I’m a Capricorn.

SM: Hmm…Capricorns are ambitious…we’ll start with a Soviet Spring: apricot brandy, lemon, lime, allspice dram and an egg white. We’ll see if you can get the froth right.

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Want to be a local celebrity blogger for outlook? Contact Erin at emccalla@outlookmedia.com.

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Are You Trucking Kidding Me? That’s Delicious!

by Ayana Wilson If you live along the prime drag of Columbus, the stretch of High Street from Downtown to campus set off by modern arches that light up at night, then you are a social urbanite. Why else would you pay the inflated rent and put up with police helicopters overhead?

And if you are a social butterfly, then you haven’t missed one of the trendiest additions to the night scene: food trucks.

These bonafide culinary establishments on wheels have sprung up with a vengeance in the past few years, a quirky alternative for the latenight crowd and now a distinct and necessary part of the Short North food scene. They join the tradition established by late-night carts usually pushing brats and gyros to the late-night drunks who crave carbs and protein.

Together they’ve breathed life back into a bland gastronomical prospect.

Los Primos Tacos and the Gyro’s Meal Food Cart are staying true to the simple philosophy that garnered them success with the metropolitan crowd: good food made with care that’s quick, cheap, stimulating and gratifying.

Los Primos Tacos has been serving the Short North and Victorian Village fresh, authentic Mexican fare for two years now. Usually located near King and Forsythe avenues near the market that supplies them, Los Primos’ dedication to traditional foods has garnered the truck a fol-

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lowing that believes you don’t have to sacrifice quality for speed or cost.

Andrew Fleschman swears by everything Los Primos makes: “The food is fresh, it’s fast, and it always tastes good. I’ve never gotten a bad meal here and it always fills me up.”

From lunch hour ’til dance hour, the parking lot with the coolest-looking truck in the area is packed with cars, trucks, even bicycles. And on the coldest days in winter, diners still line up for what co-owner/ cook Sol Rodriguez is dishing up.

The specialties of the house are the Chicken Enchiladas served with Green Chile Sauce, as well as the three ample tacos that use fresh-made tortillas and locally grown vegetables as toppings. I had the Al Pastor Tacos because I love pork.

Both dishes are served with arroz y frijoles (rice and beans), two sides not to be overlooked. Unlike a lot of so-called Mexican restaurant rice and beans, the ones offered at Los Primos are scratch-made and could be a second lunch or first dinner all on its own. The rice is fluffy, not mushy, and the beans are flawlessly seasoned, saving them from being baby mush, which is how I often think of Mexican frijoles.

Everything is well-executed: the Al Pastor is sweet and savory, perfectly set off with spicy cilantro and radishes, and the chicken in the enchiladas tastes exactly the way the pollo tasted in Vera Cruz when I went there for vaca-

tion many years ago. The flavor is smoky yet zesty and immediately makes you want a cold Tecate, which they fortunately sell inside Las Maravillas market nearby.

He’s been doing this for so long it’s like watching a practiced conductor command a full orchestra. His movements are deft, and the smile never leaves his face.

It’s a family-run operation, and you walk away not only stuffed with good food, but with good vibrations as well. Rodriguez is a smiling welcome when you approach. She’s bright and gracious and makes it easy to become a regular.

And the food’s good. The gyro is his claim to fame, but he offers brats, sausages and sandwiches as well. It’s a recipe he brought from home, and for someone who has long complained about how salty most of the gyros are around here, Tahar’s is modestly seasoned and prepared for each order.

That’s the thing about local food trucks and carts and their owners: They’re some of the friendliest, most animated and lively characters one could meet, a true symbol of the diversity of the Short North.

Like Tahar Meridja, whose Gyro’s Meal cart has been a staple since before food trucks hit it big in Columbus. A native of Algeria, Tahar makes some of the best Mediterranean-inspired street food in town, and for many, a night out is not complete without Tahar and one of his famous gyros.

John Moore always gets his late-night fix at Gyro’s, which is usually set up near the Chase bank branch in the Short North. It’s not only the food, which is “great…hot and made to order…filling and cheap,” but Tahar himself who Moore enjoys.

“He’s a real friendly guy, a character.” And I agree. He regales you with stories while he whips up your meal, expertly slicing, sizzling and laughing, even in the cold Columbus wind.

Taco eating contest. Me vs. you. Go!

There is no giant, greasy spool of meat, and all the vegetables are cooked when requested. His pita is soft and pleasantly chewy, and what I appreciated most of all is the fact that it didn’t get soggy before or during the meal. Because Gyro’s Meal’s fare isn’t loaded with fat or bogged down with sauce to cover up lackluster meat, the bread maintained its integrity, making for a really gratifying sandwich.

As the food truck and cart scene continues to expand, it’s nice to still have Los Primos and Gyro’s Meal relying on tradition for flavor and good old-fashioned courtesy to drive their businesses forward. Their food is uncomplicated and delicious.

And they’re the kind of people you want to succeed. They make true what my mother always told me: By their food, you know them. Granted, she was talking about which ones of our neighbors were lazy cooks who used boxed mixes and canned sauces, but still apropos here…and very much true.

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CMC is a great way to network and stay on top of community issues. Want to try it out? Contact Chris to be outlook’s guest.

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Let’s Get Franco

by Chris Azzopardi James Franco isn’t the only one fearlessly exploring homosexuality in his career. His own brother, Dave, is too. With himself, even.

The 27-year-old has attracted a big gay fan base ever since he starred in the 2007 indie After Sex (the one where Mila Kunis was a lesbian) and put Channing Tatum in his place after a homophobic mixup in last year’s 21 Jump Street. But it’s Dave’s viral Funny or Die videos, where he’s had sex with himself and also told actor Chris “McLovin” Mintz-Plasse “I wanna strip you down” (and other homoerotic things), that have really made the gays smitten.

Now the heartthrob is fighting zombies in the film adaptation of the best-selling book Warm Bodies, also starring Nicholas Hoult of A Single Man. In his first gay press interview, we picked Dave’s brain on the outsider theme of his new flick and how his sexually explicit videos are in no way baiting the boys who love them.

Chris Azzopardi: Under what conditions could you fall in love with a zombie?

Dave Franco: I don’t think the physical appearance is getting in the way for me. (Laughs) As long as they were a good person in the past life and there’s just some kind of sweetness behind those eyes, I’m in. I don’t need much else.

CA: Do you think there’s some subtext in the

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movie’s theme about love being boundless and knowing no sex or race – even life or death – that you think your gay fans might appreciate or relate to?

DF: Definitely. If you take the zombie element out of the movie, it is still this coming-of-age movie about this outsider who is trying to find himself and eventually does through love. It does speak to the fact that it doesn’t matter what your race or your sexual orientation is. Sometimes you can’t explain a connection that works.

CA: When were you first aware you had a gay following?

DF: My friend I grew up with started calling me out and saying, “Dude, I can’t even imagine what people who don’t know you think of you.” It’s not like I’m doing these videos because I’m trying to shock or confuse people. I’m generally drawn toward material that’s just different and unique and is gonna maybe surprise people a bit. So I was first aware that there was maybe some awareness of me from the gay community when all my friends were telling me there’s all this stuff online and if you Google my name, the first thing that comes up is “Dave Franco Gay.” (Laughs) CA: So right around the time you fucked yourself?

DF: (Laughs) That didn’t help things.

CA: Whether you’re having sex with yourself in “Go Fuck Yourself” or talking dirty to Chris in “You’re So Hot,” are these videos your way of

showing your acknowledgement and support for the gay community?

DF: Yeah, sure – definitely! I have gay friends and of course I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality that I’m open to doing videos like that. I know a huge audience is going to think that I am gay.

I’m just trying to blur the lines, I guess. I’m not consciously trying to do that, but it’s not something I think about. Like with my friends who are gay, it’s not like that’s the first thing I associate with them. They’re just another friend, and they just happen to like guys.

CA: Why are all the videos so gay?

DF: There are a lot of very overtly gay things in these videos, but for some reason while I was making them, or while I was even initially thinking of the ideas, I swear to God I didn’t think, “OK, we’re gonna make another gay video that’s gonna shock people.” The way “You’re So Hot” came about: I worked with Chris on a movie called Fright Night and in between takes we would play this game. It was a game that he and his buddies played growing up and it just made me laugh my ass off, so when the movie was done and we were back in L.A. I thought to myself, “This would make a really funny short.”

CA: Being comfortable with your sexuality seems to be something that runs in the Franco family. Obviously your brother also has no qualms with his sexuality. But whereas you explore it with humor, James has more of a political and sexual agenda. Do you see any overlap

Can you imagine a Dave James sandwich? WOW. Now, I’m horny and hungry.

in the way you two explore homosexuality?

DF: That’s a good question. The main overlap is just how hard we dive into it. There’s nothing subtle, I guess, about how we embrace gay culture and there basically are no boundaries. We both push the envelope.

I don’t know why a lot of what we create deals with that subject matter. I get asked that all the time, and I’m not consciously thinking to myself, “I’m gonna make these sexually explicit gay videos.” It just comes through us for some reason.

CA: How do you react to the gay community’s excitement over you and your videos?

DF: I gotta embrace it, right? I love it. At this point, I’m so happy that anyone is even aware of me or is a fan of me. It’s still something that I don’t think I’ll ever get used to. From just what I’ve heard and what I’ve observed, the gay community, when they revolve toward someone or something or a movie, they come full force and they tell everyone about it. Tell me if I’m wrong.

CA: No, word spreads fast in the gay community if a Franco brother is naked.

DF: Exactly. So I totally embrace it.

Chris and Dave had a lot more to talk about, so read the full interview online at outlookcolumbus.com. Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

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If you are looking for a great vacation, head to Winter Party. Just be sure to stay a few extra days to recuperate.

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by Dan Savage I’ve been a fan of your Savage Lovecast for a long time, but I had to write after hearing Marty Klein’s awesome talk about the fallacy of “sex addiction.” I am 27, and for most of my adult life, I have suffered from complete sexual dysfunction with partners. I was ashamed and thought I was too sexually screwed up to be with a partner because I’m kinky. (I have a fetish for tights and pantyhose.) I was also afraid to seek help out of fear of being labeled “abnormal” or “addicted to porn.” I managed to get a little better thanks to an encouraging, kinky, porn-loving, sex-positive female partner. In spite of feeling better, I am still having problems with partners. What are some good resources for finding a sex-positive therapist like Dr. Klein? I have been referred by several people to someone listed as a “certified sex addiction therapist,” and I worry this is exactly the kind of unhelpful, sex-negative therapist that Dr. Klein mentioned on your podcast.

- NON-Addict Despite Dumb Intolerant Counselors’ Theories “If the public knew how little sexuality training most therapists receive, they’d be stunned,” said Dr. Marty Klein, a sex therapist, marriage counselor, psychotherapist and author. “You can get licensed as a marriage counselor or psychologist without hearing the words ‘clitoris,’ ‘vibrator’ or ‘amateur porn.’ So ‘How do I find a sex-positive therapist?’ is a very important question.”

Klein advises you start by contacting the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT.org). “NON-ADDICT should look for a member in his area,” says Klein.

“But the group is small, and not all of them will share his sexual values. Here’s what he should ask a potential therapist: ‘What are your sexual values?’ ‘How do you define healthy sexuality?’

‘Are you comfortable talking about kinky sex?’ ‘Do you think monogamous, heterosexual, genitally oriented sex is ultimately better than other consensual arrangements?’” The kind of sex-positive therapist you seek will answer straightforward questions like that over the phone before you make an appointment for a session. “And regardless of the answers, if you sense a professional is queasy talking about sex, move on to another candidate.”

Klein says there are many ways to find a local, progressive, sex-positive therapist. “He should call his local Planned Parenthood or LGBT center, a gynecologist or urologist, or the person who

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teaches sexuality at his local university, or a local divorce

lawyer” and ask for a referral, advises Klein. You could even call a priest.

“Most clergy send their sexuality cases to one or two local therapists, some of whom are quite progressive.”

To hear Dr. Klein talk with me about pornography and the “sex addiction” racket, go to thestranger.com/lovecast and listen to Episode 326. To read Dr. Klein’s brilliant takedown of the sex-addiction industry (“You’re Addicted to What?

Challenging the Myth of Sex Addiction,” the Humanist, July/August 2012), go to tinyurl.com/addictedtowhat. To find out more about Dr. Klein and his work, go to martyklein.com.

I recently caught my boyfriend watching porn.

We have talked about it before, and he said he didn’t watch it while he was in a relationship.

But when I caught him there with his dick in his hand, I lost it. I have never felt so hurt or betrayed. This is my first serious relationship. I can’t get over how sick and sad I feel. It feels like he was cheating on me. Should I be as upset as I am? It was interactive porn—it was like he was cybersexing with one of his ex-girlfriends. What should I do?

- Sad And Naive Was your boyfriend having cybersex with an exgirlfriend? Or did it only feel like he was? I would make a distinction, SAD, because while all porn constitutes a betrayal of the terms of your relationship, interacting with a stranger and, very likely, a professional online shouldn’t feel quite so threatening.

Backing way the hell up: Your boyfriend shouldn’t have lied to you, SAD, but you shouldn’t have been

so naive as to believe him. If you can’t bring yourself to forgive him for lying—if you can’t put yourself in his shoes and try to understand why he might lie about this (shame, fear, a desire to spare your feelings)—then this relationship is doomed. End it and find a new boyfriend. But when your next boyfriend tells you he doesn’t watch porn, you’re going to look at him

then-boyfriend packed up everything I owned and put it on the lawn—just like in the movies!

The reason for this was that he hacked into my e-mail and read some very graphic letters about an affair I’d had in Mexico just weeks prior. My CPOS justifications: (1) We were on a break, and I had been living with friends to

and say, “Suuuuuure, you don’t.”

escape his anger problems and emotional abuse. I was still seeing him periodically and slept with him a couple times. (2) He wouldn’t go down on me. (3) When I tried to break up with him in the past, he threatened suicide. (4) He had many kinks and a history of cheating, and he threatened that if I didn’t participate in gang bangs, he would find someone who would.

Ask your new boyfriend to be discreet and limit his porn consumption to an extent where you’re unlikely to uncover any evidence of it, as porn upsets you. If your new boyfriend manages to do that for you, SAD, if he’s considerate enough to cover his tracks, you should be considerate enough to turn a blind eye on those rare occasions when you do stumble over evidence that your new boyfriend watches porn— just like your old boyfriend did and all your future boyfriends will.

I ended a twoand-a-halfyear relationship six months ago. By “ended” I mean my

Oh, that’s where I left my tie... silly me.

I didn’t feel safe sexually or emotionally with him, and I found an evening of relief from my shitty relationship in Mexico while we were on a break. I felt energized, attractive, and like I was dealing with a healthy adult. That was the catalyst that got me out of the relationship on his terms, and I wouldn’t do anything differently if I had a choice. Am I a CPOS? - My EX Isn’t Completely Obtuse For readers who are just joining us: A CPOS is a “cheating piece of shit,” someone who cheats on a partner without grounds. You are not a CPOS, MEXICO. You had grounds: You wanted out, tried to get out, but couldn’t get out because your crazy ex essentially took himself hostage by threatening suicide. (Which is an abuser’s tactic, folks, please make a note of it.) Your infantile, manipulative, selfish ex wasn’t allowing you to go peacefully.

Cheating on him and getting caught may not have been a conscious exit strategy on your part, MEXICO, but it was a perfectly executed one.

Savage Love appears every month in outlook and every week at outlookcolumbus.com. You can email Dan at mail@savagelove.net, follow him on Twitter at @fakedansavage or listen to his weekly podcast, “Savage Lovecast,” every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.

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That cupid can shoot me with his arrow, if you know what I mean...

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Every month in print and every week online, we ask outlook readers to do our work for us as Local Celebrity Guest Bloggers. (You don’t really have to be a celeb. This will launch your career.) If you want to share your rants, raves or observations with the rest of Columbus, call Erin McCalla at 614.268.8525, x2 or email her at emccalla@outlookmedia.com. Or call. Email would be better.

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Asher Pollock, Senior at Whetstone High School Top 5 Things I Will Make Time For:

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5. Homework. AP Government and PSEO English. Has to be done.

Blegh.

4. Exercise! Beginning a routine is hard, maintaining it is harder.

3. My friends and family. Especially if I like them.

2. Singing. In my car, in the shower, at school, at home, with people or alone, I am singing. If you need me to stop I will, but it makes me happy so just let me be.

1. Centering myself. Finding peace and quiet when I need it most. Sometimes singing overlaps.

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Feb. 4 BlogOQueer Topic: Listening For the Movements of My Life

Debbie J. Van Bommel, aka Debbie Dash, Merion Village

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Top 5 Favorite Fish

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5. The flying fish roe at Haiku 4. The Incredible Mr. Limpet 3. Jaws 2. Filet, a beta who just passed, shared with coworker 1. Dori from Finding Nemo

Feb. 11 BlogOQueer Topic: I’m a Coelacanth Swimming in a Pool of Guppies Sharon Udoh, Party Chef at Impero Coffee Top 5 Favorite Food Experiences in Columbus 5. Any feuilletine at Pistacia Vera 4. Spinach salad (or gelato) at Till Dynamic Fare 3. Bhindi Masala at Udipi 2. Anything at Barrel 44 – just close your eyes and pick something 1. Juniors – TACOS 4 EVA

Feb. 18 BlogOQueer Topic: Why I Cook for a Living

Lisa McCormack, Owner of the Green Olive Company (Now open at 861 N High St in the Short North)

Top 5 Oil and Vinegar Pairings 5. Traditional Balsamic + Tuscan Herb-Infused Olive Oil 4. Peach White Balsamic + Herbs de Provence-Infused Olive Oil 3. Fig Balsamic + Garlic-Infused Olive Oil 2.Sicilian Lemon White Balsamic + Wild Mushroom and Sage Infused Olive Oil 1.Cranberry Pear White Balsamic + Blood Orange-Inused Olive Oil

Feb. 25 BlogOQueer Topic: Impressions of the Short North

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Girl Groups of the Sixties

46 Nicosia’s island 48 Too big for your britches 50 “Stop! In the Name of Love” singers Across 54 Public lavatories, e.g.

1 Problem for a drag 57 Collette of United States queen’s hosiery of Tara 5 Rock Hudson’s A 58 Party after a Hawaiian Farewell to ___ wedding, perhaps 9 Dirt clump 59 “Snail-mail” org.

13 Jason Lee TV role 60 Supporter of two plastic 14 Lincoln’s Johnson brides 15 Folk history 61 Role for Bela 16 Pink Triangle Press pub- 62 Gave the slip to lication 63 Art Deco design name 17 Willa Cather novel 19 “Be My Baby” singers Down 21 Made easier to bear 1 Three couples in bed?

22 Gets to second base, 2 Lane of The Birdcage perhaps 3 Put the collar on 26 Alternative to HBO 4 Blinding light 27 Brothers & Sisters pro- 5 Shakespearean stream ducer Ken 6 Director Norman of Prel31 Sound of a sudden, inude to a Kiss voluntary discharge 7 Come together 32 They wave their sticks 8 Dice markings in Atlanta 9 Phone message from 34 Dance club speakers Glenn?

35 “Will You Love Me To10 Mary’s TV boss morrow” singers 11 Bruin Bobby 38 Environs 12 Some NFL linemen 39 Show and tell 18 Salty, white stuff from 40 Back biter? the Greeks 42 Belgrade resident 20 Ban targets 43 Strong joe 23 Quaint sigh

Can’t find the answer? The solutions, as well as more puzzles, can be found at outlookcolumbus.com

24 Does a birth rite 25 Signal that goes either way 28 “If I Were King of the Forest” singer 29 High-tuition schools 30 Cheek 32 She played Maude Findlay 33 One who looks into crystal balls 35 Reverend Perry 36 Fab Four flick 37 David Marshall Grant’s ___ of Love 38 Where to see a Sharon Stone movie, perhaps 41 Essen’s river 43 Rita Will, for one 44 Collection of on-line discussion groups 45 Handle on a streetcar, for Williams?

47 Asian capital 49 The Divine Miss M 51 Matching notes for Rorem?

52 Dave Pallone and others 53 “Hey, over here!”

54 Nellie in journalism 55 Mo. named after a Caesar 56 Benjamin Hoff’s The ___ of Pooh

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Hey I heard you were a wild one...ooooo-oooo-oooo yeah....

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