2015-02-01 Outlook Ohio Magaine

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The Voice of Ohio’s LGBT and Ally Community

OHIO MARRIAGE BAN ON ITS WAY TO THE

SUPREME COURT

Interview:

KATHY GRIFFIN & THE FASHION POLICE

Outlook Special Report

EX-GAY THERAPY Cupid Ain’t Stupid 2015: Valentine’s Gifts to Make Their Hearts Skip a Beat

LEARNING FROM LEELAH

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january 2015

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vol 19 • #9

the lessons from leelah issue 4

you are here

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qmunity briefs

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11 12 14 17 18 20 22

snapshot

polisigh: columbus mayoral race small pond: laughlin’s bakery

feature: on their own feature: youth commentary

feature: dangerous therapy feature: parents are key

complete the circuit the other side

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dyke like me

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creative class: Angels in America

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valentine’s day gift guide boobtube: winter binge watching interview: kathy griffin

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out & about

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savage love

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blogoqueer

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lgbt bar roundup

the divine life

couple of guys

puzzling

next month: LGBT Business february 2015

you are here It’s never easy to hear when we lose someone in also illuminated how the misunderstanding of the community. It’s even more difficult when our experience can lead our family to take acthey take their own life. tions - though good intentioned - that ultimately can hurt us so deeply that we no longer Leelah Alcorn’s tragic suicide on Dec 28 rewish to live. minded all of us the of the despair our community feels when we are not accepted simply for Below is Leelah’s suicide note. I think it demonwho we are. states, better than I ever could, how messed up all of this really is. Please share it with anyone you know and help continue to make Leelah’s Leelah wanted her death to mean something, and I believe it has. Not only did her actions put death mean something. a national spotlight on transgender issues, but it also demonstrated the pain and damage that Christopher Hayes is done to people when they have no support. It Publisher SUICIDE NOTE

I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which abIf you are reading this, it means solutely broke my heart. The longer that I have committed suicide and you wait, the harder it is to transiobviously failed to delete this post tion. I felt hopeless, that I was just from my queue. going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th Please don’t be sad, it’s for the birthday, when I didn’t receive conbetter. The life I would’ve lived isn’t sent from my parents to start tranworth living in… because I’m sitioning, I cried myself to sleep. transgender. I could go into detail explaining why I feel that way, but I formed a sort of a “fuck you” atthis note is probably going to be titude towards my parents and lengthy enough as it is. To put it came out as gay at school, thinksimply, I feel like a girl trapped in ing that maybe if I eased into a boy’s body, and I’ve felt that way coming out as trans it would be ever since I was 4. I never knew less of a shock. Although the reacthere was a word for that feeling, tion from my friends was positive, nor was it possible for a boy to be- my parents were pissed. They felt come a girl, so I never told anyone like I was attacking their image, and I just continued to do tradiand that I was an embarrassment tionally “boyish” things to try to fit to them. They wanted me to be in. their perfect little straight christian boy, and that’s obviously not When I was 14, I learned what what I wanted. transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of conSo they took me out of public fusion I finally understood who I school, took away my laptop and was. I immediately told my mom, phone, and forbid me of getting on and she reacted extremely negaany sort of social media, comtively, telling me that it was a pletely isolating me from my phase, that I would never truly be friends. This was probably the part a girl, that God doesn’t make mis- of my life when I was the most detakes, that I am wrong. If you are pressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t reading this, parents, please don’t kill myself. I was completely alone tell this to your kids. Even if you for 5 months. No friends, no supare Christian or are against trans- port, no love. Just my parent’s disgender people don’t ever say that appointment and the cruelty of to someone, especially your kid. loneliness.

That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly At the end of the school year, my what it did to me. parents finally came around and gave me my phone and let me My mom started taking me to a back on social media. I was extherapist, but would only take me cited, I finally had my friends back. to christian therapists, (who were They were extremely excited to see all very biased) so I never actually me and talk to me, but only at got the therapy I needed to cure first. Eventually they realized they me of my depression. I only got didn’t actually give a shit about more christians telling me that I me, and I felt even lonelier than I was selfish and wrong and that I did before. The only friends I should look to God for help. thought I had only liked me because they saw me five times a When I was 16 I realized that my week. parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until After a summer of having almost

no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like shit because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound.

I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning.

There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case.

It gets worse. Each day I get worse.

That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s good enough for me. As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a shit which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and fix it. Fix society.

Please.

PUBLISHER Christopher Hayes

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHERS Bob Vitale / Chad Frye

HEADQUARTERS Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, Ste G, Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525 phone / 614.261.8200 fax SALES Chad Frye / cfrye@outlookmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media - 212.242.6863 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Bob Vitale / bvitale@outlookmedia.com MANAGING EDITOR Erin McCalla / erin@outlookmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chris Azzopardi, James Blackmon, Brooke Cartus, Bryan Cole, Luke Darby, Debé, Orie Givens, Peyton Hardesty, Pete Lovering, Erin McCalla, Mikey Rox, Dan Savage, Brynn Tannehill, Bob Vitale, Mickey Weems.

ART DIRECTOR Christopher Hayes / art@outlookmedia.com

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Chris Hayes CYBERSPACE outlookohio.com outlookmedia.com networkcolumbus.com twitter / fb: outlookcolumbus Outlook is published and distributed by Outlook Media Inc., on the first day of each month throughout Ohio.

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puzzling solution - puzzle on pg 38

Goodbye, (Leelah) Josh Alcorn

The Trevor Project: thetrevorproject.org, 1.866.488.7386.

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Gay for Good Columbus helping Ohio Hispanic Coalition

Dayton Gay Men’s Chorus Joyful Jazz

LGBT Center of Cleveland staff @ the Beyond Identities Center for MLK Day of Service

ARC Ohio benefit @ Sami’s in Mansfield

Naughty Ball @ Aura Ultra Lounge Cleveland, photo: Bob Perkoski

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TransOhio: transohio.org, 614.441.8167.

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The Month in Marriage

qmunity

Around the State

ATHENS: City Council members voiced their unanimous support for marriage equality in a resolution approved on Jan 20. The Post newspaper reported that people at the meeting offered “resounding applause” and didn’t mention any opposition.

CINCINNATI: MUSE, the Cincinnati Women’s Choir, was asked to perform the National Anthem before Xavier University’s women’s basketball game on Jan 25.

CLEVELAND: Case Western Reserve University announced in January that it plans to create an interdisciplinary LGBTQ research group that will focus on scholarly endeavors, research projects and other initiatives. Interested faculty, staff and administrators will meet late this month or in early March.

CLEVELAND: Waterloo Arts (waterlooarts.org), located in the city’s Collinwood neighborhood, has scheduled an April exhibit that will showcase the work of trans* artists. Those interested in submitting their work have until Feb 28. Visit the website or email info@waterlooarts.org for details.

DAYTON: A new local support group for transgender people and their allies met for the first time in January at the Miami Valley Fair Housing Center. Call the Greater Dayton LGBT Center at 937.274.1776 for more info.

DAYTON: The Dayton Gay Men’s Chorus will have some pretty special company for its June 6 show at the Victoria Theatre. Broadway legend Jennifer Holliday will perform with the group. Tickets are on sale now at daytongaymenschorus.org.

MANSFIELD: Sami’s, which opened last spring as the only gay dance club between Columbus and Cleveland, raised $1,521 for AIDS Resource Center Ohio during a Jan 17 benefit show.

SPRINGFIELD: A new contract between the city and 125 members of the International Association of Firefighters Local 333 adds sexual orientation to a city nondiscrimination policy for the first time, the Springfield News-Sun reported.

YOUNGSTOWN: Youngstown PFLAG is sponsoring an essay contest for area stuCOLUMBUS: After 22 years, the Columbus dents in grades 10-12. There’s a $500 award Ursine Brotherhood is going into hibernation. for the best essay on one of several topics Members of the Central Ohio bear group said about advocacy for the LGBT community. there haven’t been enough people to fill lead- Visit youngstownpflag.org for details and an ership positions and help plan the annual application; the deadline is March 15.

Bear Camp. Over two-plus decades, CUB raised more than $150,000 for charity.

Ohio Equality Cases Headed to High Court

by Bob Vitale

The marriage waiting game will be over by the time we’re packing away the Pride flags.

The US Supreme Court said in January that it government to honor all legal marriages. will take up the issue of marriage equality this spring for the third time in three years.

The couple married in Maryland. Arthur died Justices will hear cases in April and issue a of ALS in October 2013. decision by late June.

“I’m protecting our relationship, our marOhio’s marriage ban - specifically, its consti- riage, and I want to do it for everyone else,” tutional prohibition on even acknowledging Obergefell told Outlook in July about the fight legal same-sex marriages that take place he has continued to have his marriage recelsewhere - is one of four cases at the heart ognized by the state. “I look at it now and I of this year’s Supreme Court hearing. The think, what a great legacy for John.” others involve bans in Michigan, Kentucky and Tennessee, which, like Ohio’s, were up- After the Supreme Court announced that it held in November by federal appeals judges. would hear his case, Obergefell said on Facebook: “I miss you, John - this fight is in your “This is a great day for our courageous honor and memory, and as a thank you for clients, and we are excited to carry their almost 21 years of happiness.” cause to the highest court in the land,” said Al Gerhardstein of Cincinnati, who’s the lead Other plaintiffs include David Michener, who attorney in two Ohio cases seeking state also lost his husband and seeks to be recognition for legally married couples. recorded as married in state records, as well as several couples who want to be recogJim Obergefell and his late husband, John nized as married on the birth certificates of Arthur, both of Cincinnati, filed the first fed- their children: Brittani Henry and Brittni eral lawsuit after the Supreme Court struck Rogers, Nicole and Pam Yorksmith, Kelly Noe down portions of the Defense of Marriage Act and Kelly McCracken, and Joseph Vitale and in June 2013 and ordered the federal Robert Talmas.

Scholarships Available for Central Ohio Students LGBT college students in Central Ohio can apply for two scholarships that will be awarded for their studies in 2015-16.

The Legacy Fund of the Columbus Foundation is accepting applications through March 27 for 2015 Howard T Short and Burdette Augsburger Scholarships. Twenty, totaling more than $75,000, have been awarded since 2010.

Applicants must be LGBT students with a 2.75 or higher GPA attending a college in Franklin, Delaware, Licking, Fairfield, Pickaway, Madison or Union counties, or at Wilmington College in Wilmington.

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download an application.

Students at Ohio State University are eligible for scholarships ranging from $1,500 to $2,500 from the GLBT Alumni Society.

Awards are offered to undergrads, LGBT and allies, and one is for a student who will start at OSU in 2015-16. Specific scholarships will go to LGBT students in music, who have financial need, who are living with HIV, or who have worked in the HIV/AIDS community.

The deadline is March 1. Visit scarletandgay.com for more information and an application. The deadline is March 1.

Visit thelegacyfund.org to learn more or

february 2015

Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization (BRAVO): bravo-ohio.org, 1.866.86.BRAVO.

outlookohio.com

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Dayton Named America’s Queerest City

Save the Date

“No better place!!,” the Rubi Girls charity drag troupe posted on Facebook.

“We’re #1!,” wrote the Greater Dayton LGBT Center.

by Bob Vitale Cincinnati might be the Queen City.

But Dayton is the Queer City.

The Advocate focused on places outside the usual San Francisco-WeHo-New York-Key West axis for its 2015 Queerest Cities in America list and settled on Dayton for the top spot. “‘Welcome Dayton’ isn’t just a catchphrase,” Mayor Nan Whaley said, referring to a city effort to welcome new immigrants. “We live it.”

The Advocate’s yearly ranking is a less-than-scientific measure that takes more into account than LGBT-friendly

policies. This year, the magazine based its rankings on trans-inclusive nondiscrimination policies but also whether cities have LGBT-friendly mosques and synagogues; chapters of the queer gunrights group, the Pink Pistols; LGBT retirement communities; and tours of Wicked, Book of Mormon and Kinky Boots.

After Dayton, the magazine’s top towns were: Atlanta; West Palm Beach, Fla; Lansing, Mich; Madison, Wis; Salt Lake City; Erie, Pa; Tacoma, Wash; Davenport, Iowa; Boulder, Colo; Spokane, Wash; Boise, Idaho; Cambridge, Mass; Washington, DC; and Carlsbad, Calif.

LGBT groups in Dayton boasted about the ranking.

Whaley told Outlook last fall that cities - and the entire state of Ohio - must welcome diversity if they’re going to thrive economically. She repeated that call in her 2015 plan for her city.

“Efforts to welcome anyone who desires to make Dayton their home - to live, work, play and make a positive contribution to our community - should be a major priority. Welcoming new people with new ideas regardless of their backgrounds, orientations and cultural differences is one of the keys to growing Dayton’s population in the years ahead,” she said.

Akron was an honorable mention on The Advocate’s 2014 list, and Cincinnati was an honorable mention in 2013.

Cleveland was named the 12th gayest city in 2011, and Columbus came in at No. 7 in 2007.

Spring 2015 Ohio GSA Summit kycohio.org March 14, Columbus

AIDS Walk Ohio aidswalkohio.com April 18, Columbus, Dayton and Toledo

Cincinnati Volleyball Classic cincyvball.org March 14-15, Cincinnati

Ohio PFLAG State Cincinnati Pride cincinnatipride.org Conference June 27, Cincinnati April 18, Dayton

Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus: Our Story, Our Song cgmc.com March 20-22, Columbus Capital Pride Band Spring Concert cappride.org March 28-29, Columbus Cincinnati Men’s Chorus: Girl Power

Caracole’s 5K for AIDS caracole.org April 19, Cincinnati CLAW 15 clawinfo.org April 23-26, Cleveland Lake Erie Classic Volleyball Tournament lakeerieclassic.com April 24-26, Cleveland HRC Columbus Gala Dinner hrc.org/columbus June 6, Columbus

Columbus Pride columbuspride.org June 19-20, Columbus

Cleveland Pride clevelandpride.org June 27, Cleveland Camp Sunrise sunrisekids.org Aug 9-15, Clarksville 2015 Gay Softball World Series gsws2015.org Aug 17-22, Columbus Toledo Pride toledopride.org August

Pride Night @ Kings Island March 28-29, Youngstown Pride cincyglbt.com/pride-night Sept 11, Cincinnati prideyoungstown.org Cincinnati June 12-13, Ohio Lesbian Fest GLSEN Cincinnati Youngstown ohiolba.org Prom & Safe Sept 18-20, Pataskala Pittsburgh Pride Space Soiree glsen.org/chapters/cincinnati pittsburghpride.org April 15, Cincinnati June 13-14, Pittsburgh cincinnatimenschorus.org

I Can’t Wait to Perform Same Sex Marriages Dayton Mayor Nan Whaley was one of January’s guest bloggers at our website, outlookohio.com. Since we don’t get mayors writing for us every day, we thought we’d share her column in print, too.

by Nan Whaley Nearly every Friday morning in City Commission Chambers, I get the opportunity to be a outlookohio.com

part of lives as they join together in the contract of marriage. It is one of those perks of being mayor that you really don’t think about until after you are elected.

Still, I love to take the time during these mornings to reflect on the differences of the couples. I speculate on how they got together.

I think about how the families and friends reacted to the couple standing together. I worry about the challenges they have before them on their journey together.

I tell people that these are the mornings where I get to see Dayton and its future.

And as lovely as these mornings are, they are an incomplete picture of Dayton. In Ohio, we still don’t have same-sex marriage. A section of our community is not being afforded the same rights as I have in a straight marriage: to be legally recognized as a couple.

In Dayton, we are proud of our record and leadership on LGBT issues. We received the ranking of All Star City by the Human Rights Campaign for our ranking on the Municipal Equality Index. We have a domestic partnership registry for our residents to help be recognized as a couple in our city. We continually look for our ways to be more welcoming to the LGBT community.

LGBT groups: Share your news! Email bvitale@outlookmedia.com.

Still, the state holds us back.

A few months ago, my husband and I had the pleasure of having some same-sex couples to our house for dinner. I was so taken by the love of the couples, their willingness to share their perspective and their concerns about marriage.

Some were married already, and some were waiting. But all wanted to have the choice of marriage in the state they live in.

I want that for my friends too. And then I want to perform the ceremony. february 2015

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polisigh

Ginther

Ragland

Scott

Job Opening

Four Candidates Want to Be the Next Mayor of Columbus

by Bob Vitale

For the first time this century, Columbus will have a real contest for mayor.

Mayor Michael Coleman’s decision not to seek a fifth term - that most likely was his for the taking - means a wide-open primary in May and another fight for the general election in November.

Four people have announced their candidacies so far to succeed Coleman, who championed a domestic-partner registry, domestic-partner benefits for city workers, an anti-discrimination ordinance that includes gender identity, and trans-inclusive health coverage during his 16 years in office.

City Council President Andrew Ginther, a Democrat, has received endorsements from Coleman and all of his fellow council members, including newly appointed, openly gay Shannon Hardin.

Franklin County Sheriff Zach Scott, also a Democrat, is supported by Franklin County Commissioner Paula Brooks and openly gay county Recorder Terry Brown.

James Ragland, an education services consultant and a former City Council legislative aide, is also a former member of the Ohio Democratic Party’s central committee.

Terry Boyd, an associate dean at Franklin University and a former Columbus school board 8

february 2015

member, is the Republicans’ endorsed candi- The three Democrats all say they’ll focus on date in the race. (Boyd wasn’t available for an people and neighborhoods that have lagged interview before our deadline.) behind economically.

City officials have said every Columbus officer receives diversity training, so a liaison is unnecessary.

Elections for city offices in Columbus are nonpartisan, so none of the candidates will be listed on the ballot with party affiliations.

They’ll compete against each other in the May 5 primary, and the top two vote-getters will go head-to-head in the Nov 3 general election.

Scott has been in law enforcement for 26 years but says more jobs and better schools are the key to reducing crime in Columbus. He said he will recruit businesses to the city that have jobs matching the skills of residents who are living at or near poverty.

Ragland said he would support an LGBT liaison as mayor. He has helped set up town-halltype meetings over the last year between Columbus residents and police.

Although they’ll certainly critique each other during the primary, none has been critical of Coleman, who was first elected in 1999 and has served longer than any other mayor in Columbus history.

Ginther said statistics show roughly the same number of unemployed people in Columbus as Scott designated a sheriff’s deputy in 2013 to there are unfilled jobs. He said he’ll focus on serve as an LGBT liaison. He said he would do training to boost people’s skills. the same as mayor for the Columbus police.

“I’m running because we have a great opportunity to take our city to the next level,” said Ginther, who was appointed to City Council in 2007 after six years on the Columbus school board. He lives in Clintonville with his wife and daughter.

Ragland said more jobs and more training are needed. He said he also will restore requirements that companies getting tax breaks from city government reserve a percentage of jobs for Columbus residents.

“We want to move Columbus from great to even greater,” said Ragland, who worked at City Hall for then-Councilwoman Charleta Tavares. He lives on the East Side with his wife and two children.

Although many describe Columbus as “perfect” on LGBT issues because of 100-point totals in two Human Rights Campaign rankings, the city actually has fallen short in several HRC measures. It reached the 100point mark because of bonus points in some categories.

“I love this city and believe we are poised for an even brighter future,” said Scott, who was chosen by Democrats in 2011 to succeed the late Sheriff Jim Karnes. He lives on the North Side with his wife, and the couple has two grown children.

Columbus, for example, has no police liaison to the LGBT community, something used in Akron, Cincinnati, Dayton and other cities to foster trust in law enforcement among people who historically have been harassed and disrespected by police.

Stonewall Columbus: stonewallcolumbus.org, 614.299.7764.

“I’m for opportunities to build bridges,” he said.

“That will change,” he said. “Every officer should be a community relations officer, but it’s important that someone who has a badge on is out there [as the contact].”

Ginther said Police Chief Kim Jacobs, who is a lesbian, has “dramatically changed the culture” in the Division of Police. Still, he said, “I agree with the sentiment and acknowledge the need” for an LGBT liaison.

Scott and Ginther both support marriage equality. Ragland said he would support marriage equality if and when it becomes the law of the land, but his religious faith has taught him that “marriage is between a man and a woman.”

Bob Vitale is the editor and associate publisher of Outlook. He covered Columbus City Hall for The Columbus Dispatch from 2007 to 2010. outlookohio.com

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Crossport (Cincinnati): crossport.org, 513.344.0116.

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february 2015

Where do Columbus mayoral candidates stand on LGBT issues? Find out at outlookohio.com.

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small pond

Baking a Different Tune

by Erin McCalla

Jonas Laughlin is a musician, and when he speaks about the two-month-old Laughlin’s Bakery, he often references music.

madeleines ($1), brownies ($2), croissants ($2), gluten-free dark chocolate cookies ($2) and peanut butter sandwich cookies ($3.50).

Laughlin’s favorite - indicated by a handwritten sign next to it - is the almond croissant A classically trained opera singer and pianist, ($4), filled with almond crème, brushed with music had been at the forefront of his life until syrup and coated in powdered sugar. “It’s so a virus took his singing voice. After leaving a over-the-top, and so good,” he said. teaching job at Ohio State University he decided in May to replace concertos and arias Layer cakes are the bakery’s signature item with pastries and cakes. and are made to order. There’s vanilla, buckeye, chocolate, German chocolate, fresh coLaughlin’s Bakery opened on Dec 6 in the conut, red velvet, lemon ginger, lemon and Short North Arts District of Columbus, just in raspberry, orange and raspberry, and carrot time for holiday baking. The strategic start cake. date worked in his favor by providing a very busy first month in business.

“I love cakes. I will probably be known for my layer cakes, but I also do pound cakes and The shop sells a lot of breads, cakes and Bundt cakes and Christmas cakes,” Laughlin French pastry, and Laughlin has two criteria said. for every product: It has to be delicious, and it has to be beautiful.

A North Carolina native, Laughlin has been baking for more than a decade. He’s self“This is my art now, he said. “I can’t slap an taught, and he’s comfortable with trial and ugly ol’ cookie out there.” error.

Columbus Musician Makes a Sweet Career Change

He has collected and perfected recipes, some of which came from his mother and grandmother.

“I gave myself 35 days to raise $35,000, and I “I feel like baking is a tradition. There are raised it in 11,” he said. “The day it finished some cake recipes I use that go back to 1930s coincided with my 32nd birthday and it was North Carolina because they were my grand- just wild.” mother’s.”

Laughlin has incorporated his love of music Laughlin does all the baking in-house with the into the shop with little design flourishes, like help of assistant baker Kristy List, who got her lyres in the logo, on the front of the cases and start at Jeni’s and Pistacia Vera in Columbus’s even on the little cardholders that display the German Village. “She’s been incredible. There pastries’ names. is nothing that I can do that she can’t do; I didn’t have to teach her, she just knew.”

“This lyre, as well as being musical, is a symbol of loss and rebirth,” he said. “I knew I His and List’s skill sets and attention to qual- wanted it to be in the shop. I feel like music is ity are how he intends to set himself apart so much in me, it will always be a part of what from other bakeries.

I do.”

“A lot of bakeries in the area are destination bakeries; people will go there for a wedding cake or if they feel like they want an upscale treat,” he said. “But a bakery - at least in the conception of what I want it to be - is someplace you go at all times in your life. So you come here for your birthday cake, but we have After taking a gander at his display and sam- “Failure was part of the process. Failing is just sandwich bread, too. I make everything here, pling the pain au chocolate ($3.50), it’s obvi- part of growing as a musician. You suck for a every ingredient ... If we need almond paste, ous Laughlin is succeeding in those goals. while; you have to,” he said. “The failure never we make almond paste. We aren’t going to buy bothered me. The thing with music was I it.”

His spread includes, but is not limited to, couldn’t get out of that cycle of failure bedried fruit and nut bread ($4 a slice, $28 a cause I was broken and didn’t know it. But Laughlin says the Short North has given him a loaf), pistachio honey pound cake and almond with this, I found that I could improve, and the warm welcome, with neighboring businesses citrus pound cake ($3 a slice, $22 a loaf), failure led to something pretty remarkable.” promoting his wares. He also acknowledges cheddar dill and lemon scones ($3), lemon that a community of local supporters from outlookohio.com

Kickstarter campaign has made the bakery possible.

GLSEN Northeast Ohio: glsen.org/chapters/neo, 216.556.0960.

Laughlin’s Bakery 15 E 2nd Ave Columbus, 43215 614.914.8858 laughlinsbakery.com FB: Laughlin’s Bakery

Open Tuesdays-Saturdays, 8a-5p and Sundays, 9a-4p Small Pond shines a spotlight every month on LGBT-owned businesses across Ohio.

Suggestions for future articles can be made to Erin McCalla, managing editor, at 614.268.8525 x2 or at erin@outlookmedia.com. february 2015

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feature

On Their Own LGBTQ Youth Are Coming Out Earlier, But Where Is Their Support?

by Orie Givens As more youth come out and live openly at earlier ages, their schools, communities and the images in they see in media might not be as affirming and inclusive as many perceive.

The effects can be detrimental.

“I feel like they put me in a box because of stereotypical norms on TV,” said Deonte’, a 17-year-old high school wrestler and GSA Network board member from California who came out as gay in the eighth grade. “I think it’s really bad because there are many different aspects of gay people.”

Deonte’ said his peers thought his love of sports conflicted with his gay identity, but he said he feels that being out as both an athlete and a gay male shows new possibilities for LGBTQ youth.

“It allows me to be an inspiration for the people still in the closet ... to make them feel strong and comfortable with who they are,” he said.

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For Zeam, a 17-year-old Minnesota youth identifying as gender non-conforming and trans*-masculine, the representations of trans* people in media left them with limited possibilities. They think it would be more authentic to show LGBTQ characters doing real, everyday activities.

“For a long time, I didn’t realize I could be trans* and not die at a young age,” said Zeam, a National Youth Council member for GSA Network. “I never saw a trans* character where they weren’t being beaten to death. I just didn’t think that existed.”

To some, 2014 was a banner year for LGBTQ rights. There are more out people, and marriage equality is flourishing. But we’re still losing our LGBTQ youth to bullying, homophobia and suicide. And because of Leelah Alcorn, and others like her, we still need to ask the question: How do we help our young LGBTQ people survive coming out and being out?

“For youth, the issues can be quite critical and vary in intensity or risk,” said Amy Eldridge, executive director of Kaleidoscope Youth Center in Columbus, a drop-in cen-

ter for teens and young adults. Eldridge said she’s seen double the youth at KYC since she joined the staff four years ago.

And they come at all stages of the coming out process.

“When we’ve got young people coming out - their vulnerability in terms of whether they have parental support, peer support or school support - their risk can be a lot higher,” Eldridge said.

According to the HRC’s latest National Coming Out Day Youth Report, around 90 percent of LGBTQ youth surveyed are out to close friends. Two-thirds of those youth are out to their whole school, and more than half are out to immediate family.

it’s kind of like those microaggressions that you have to start dealing with,” Zeam said. Zeam said that comments like, “You were so pretty as a girl” or, “But I’ve always called you by that name,” are hurtful and prevalent.

Although the national media watchdog group GLAAD reports a small growth in the representation of LGBTQ people on television in its latest Where We Are on Television report, LGBTQ characters are still overwhelmingly gay or lesbian, white and cisgender. And much of that representation is still based in stereotypes.

Perceived homophobia and a lack of resources or role models are all causes of youth not coming out completely. And once they do come out, they face a different type of pressure.

“It seems like they are able to accept us as one-dimensional characters, but not at a 3D person,” Zeam said. Both Zeam and Deonte’ said that if more mainstream outlets told stories relevant to all parts of their identity, including race, gender, sexual orientation and other factors, classmates might have been more understanding and less hurtful.

“People like to say that they are liberal, or say that they are trans*-friendly, but when it comes to getting pronouns right or just being mindful of what they say…

But despite the lack of accurate portrayal of LGBTQ people with intersectional identities in mainstream media, online resources are helping to fill the gap.

Kaleidoscope Youth Center: kycohio.org, 614.294.5437.

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“So many young people are getting information online before they talk to anyone,” Eldridge said. “They have access to information to know they aren’t alone ... and can start communicating and coming out before they try their parents, friends, teachers.”

Web resources help, but data show young people still need face-to-face community affirmation to succeed.

The 2013 GLSEN National Student Climate Survey reported only 40 percent of students in Ohio indicated that their school had a gay- straight alliance or similar program in Ohio. GLSEN chapters only exist in Cincinnati, Cleveland and Dayton.

Additionally, only 4 percent of Ohio students attend a school with a comprehensive anti-bullying/harassment policy.

Groups such as Kaleidoscope, GLSEN and GSA Network are trying to expand their network of GSAs and community support groups.

“If they have a supportive school system and supportive friends at school, I think the children are more willing to come out,” said Kevin Mabrey, chair of GLSEN-Greater Dayton. “They learn how to accept themselves, they learn how to accept each other, they learn how to teach each other,” he said.

Schools without resources for LGBTQ students can leave those students feeling isolated and disconnected. They also can promote higher levels of bullying, victimization and self-harm and other issues, according to the GLSEN Student Climate Survey. Data from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show LGBTQ youth are twice as likely as others to attempt suicide, with even higher rates for LGB youth of color, and trans*, genderqueer or gender non-conforming youth.

“Kids who have supportive GSAs in their schools have better graduation rates, lower suicide rates, and more kids are going to college,” Mabrey said. He said he speaks from personal experience: A lack of resources hindered him from coming out as a teen in Northwest Ohio.

“I don’t have any schools that have GSAs where the kids still suffer,” he said. outlookohio.com

But not all schools and administrators are welcoming. Mabrey some schools still are hesitant to offer GSAs, while others reject the idea altogether or deny that LGBTQ kids attend their schools. He said one Dayton-area school principal removed him for trying to propose a GSA. “They don’t want us ‘bringing homosexuality in’ to their schools,” Mabrey said.

“There are so many people out there that just don’t understand how many differences there are, and when someone who is different is placed in front of them they don’t know how to act.”

To offer alternatives, LGBTQ groups continue to open their doors, literally, to provide a safe space for youth to be themselves. Carey Gibbons, program activities director for the LGBT Community Center of Greater Cleveland, said many of her program participants couldn’t come out at home.

“When they leave the center, they are not LGBT,” Gibbons said. “There are success stories where young people will have supporting and caring parents ... but for the most part, most of the youth and young adults are working on their own.”

There is definitely a coalition of teams working to develop programs to empower LGBTQ youth - especially marginalized groups within the LGBTQ community.

GLSEN Greater Dayton just formed a transgender student committee to provide resources to trans*, genderqueer and gender non-conforming students, their schools and their parents. Partnerships between GLSEN chapters and LGBTQ groups are creating a pipeline of support.

Although it can feel lonely being young and LGBTQ, there are organizations that can help, all day, every day. Connecting to our LGBTQ youth is not only vital to their success, but it’s saving lives. And the kids are carrying that message forward.

“I made a pact to myself that I will be the gayest kid I can be and show all aspects of my personality without fear, so I could live my life for those who aren’t able to,” Deonte’ said.

Orie Givens is a freelance journalist and co-host of the syndicated radio show Queer Minded. Reach him via Twitter @oracle83 or by visiting radioqueerminded.com.

GLSEN Cincinnati: glsen.org/chapters/cincinnati, 1.866.934.9119.

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feature

It’s ‘T’ Time

Schools Need to Step Up Support For LGBT Kids

by Peyton Hardesty

get pink. Boys like fire trucks and baseballs, girls like butterflies and dolls. Gay or straight, we’re Being a teenager is tough, but being a transgen- expected to fit into our roles, but society’s image der teenager is like trying to run with a broken for you is completely pulverized once you start leg. It’s damn near impossible to reach your des- identifying as transgender. Thus the negativity tination. and disgust.

Adults already don’t understand our angsty music and bleached hair, so how in the hell are they supposed to understand gender identity and transformation?

The media are making progress by including the LGBT community, with figureheads like Ellen DeGeneres and Neil Patrick Harris. The frequency of gay couples pictured in TV shows and movies is increasing, too, and they are helping some people learn about and support LGBT people.

However, there’s an obvious lack of T. The only real resource available is the Internet, where sites like Tumblr and YouTube are outlets for trans teens to come out, talk about their experiences and share information with others. But not everyone knows what keywords to enter on Google.

The average American is unfamiliar with transgenderism. Stereotypes pop up in their heads of drag queens and dykes; the entire concept is clouded with negativity and disgust - much like how many once viewed homosexuality.

Many teens (and adults) are struggling with their gender identity. Being a teenager is all about experimentation and figuring yourself out, so it should be understandable for a kid to have trouble deciding whether to wear a skirt or a polo shirt, yeah?

Not exactly. Gender roles are created for you while you’re still in the womb. Boys get blue bibs, girls

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If schools were to install a course or club designed to give students a safe and trusted resource to explore identity, students would be able to experiment and find themselves.

nized and accepted.

“Being misgendered sucks. It’s like calling a dog a cat, like, WTF man, it’s a dog,” Washington said.

“Experimentation is OK! Encourage it!” said Kam McBride, a genderfluid senior at the Arts and College Preparatory Academy in Columbus.

And, of course, bullying must be tackled head on.

Fear is a powerful and manipulative tactic used We’ve watched society grow to understand the to silence people, but we have to speak up. Kids: LGB community after learning about it, and that Speak out about being out. Speak out about new perspective has shifted people’s mindset.

A “More Than a GSA” club would be an ideal set- being strong. Encourage your peers to do the Technically, the same could happen with the T ting for experimentation and exploration. Vocab- same. There’s power in numbers, people. community. ulary about the LGBT community could be introduced, as well as narratives from individu- For some teachers, bullying is uncomfortable to But where do we start? als with first-hand tales of trans or queer experi- correct. It can put them in a difficult and someences. times vulnerable position. If a teacher were to Teens spend an average of 35 hours a week in stand up for, say, a gay student, the other kids school. They see their teachers and peers more Books like Beyond Magenta by Susan Kuklin and could start spreading rumors about the teacher than their families. Feeling uncomfortable in The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily Dan- being gay. Now, let’s say the teacher is closeted their school often causes low participation rates, forth are excellent representations of the LGBT out of fear of losing his or her job, because in the class failure, anxiety and depression. community. Club members could read and dis- state of Ohio, you still can be. See the problem? cuss such books, which would open them up to Clubs and organizations like gay-straight alunderstanding and accepting the community.

Anthony Gatto, the principal at ACPA, recognizes liances try to create a “safe space” for kids batthis struggle but disagrees with it. “I decided to tling with an oppressive school environment.

Kids would be able to talk with each other about be the protector,” he said. “I’m confident in my These clubs often fall apart either to lack of par- their curiosity and personal path as well, which battles.” ticipation (from fear of being bullied), or from a is something every kid needs. lack of quality information and structure.

Take steps to feel comfortable in your body. Buy The school environment would become more ac- shaping garments like binders or padded bras, Informing kids about the LGBT community is im- cepting and welcoming with the right procedures go to awareness group meetings and spread the portant, though. It teaches them not only respect and guidance, of course. Students tend to follow word. Start a “More Than a GSA” club at your and compassion, but also about themselves. For the majority, so if you create an environment school, encourage your peers to learn about the a transgender kid, hearing that their thoughts where the majority of people are kind, others will LGBT community and create a safe environment and feelings about identity are real and justified follow. for yourself by positively influencing others. Acproduce the same dumbfounded facial reactions cept yourself and love who you are. as the guys who figured out that the world was This would also let kids feel more comfortable round - not flat. coming out, which ultimately makes other kids “Be your own idea of perfect,” said ACPA freshconfident in doing the same. “Don’t be afraid to man Ashton Randles.

“It felt great,” said Xavier Washington, a trans- tell people you’re out,” McBride said. “If more gender junior at Canal Winchester High School people are out, there are more people to talk to.”

Peyton Hardesty is a writer and poet outside Columbus, on learning about transgenwho is a junior at the Arts & College derism. “I was like, oh my God, I’m not the only The “preferred name” line on school forms Preparatory Academy in Columbus. one trying to pee standing over toilets!” should also be paired with a “preferred pronoun” line to make transgender students feel recogArts & College Preparatory Academy: artcollegeprep.org, 614.986.9974.

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Common Grounds Cleveland (Youth 12-17): lgbtcleveland.org, 216.651.5428 x17.

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feature

Ohio Lawmaker Wants to Ban Harmful Therapy

by Bryan Cole

about undergoing aversion therapy, which That’s why the controversial therapies have subjects the body to discomfort and pain while been denounced by all prominent health orState Sen. Charleta Tavares says she plans to being exposed to a stimulus. According to the ganizations. reintroduce a bill in the Ohio General Assembly American Psychological Association, aversive that would ban therapies seeking to change a techniques have included nausea-inducing “None of the respected medical associations child’s sexual orientation or gender identity. drugs, electroshock therapies and snapping no one supports it,” Tavares said. “We should an elastic band on the wrist when aroused by listen to the experts.”

Her decision follows the December suicide of same-sex images. transgender teen Leelah Alcorn of Kings Mills, At the national level, every reputable social a suburb of Cincinnati.

These techniques scar the patient - literally - and medical organization opposes the use of and teach the body to associate “impure” conversion therapy. As long ago as 1993 - beAccording to Leelah’s suicide note, her parents thoughts with pain. fore 17-year-old Leelah Alcorn was even born denied her request to begin transition treatthe American ment and instead sent her to so-called “con- For transgender Academy of Pediversion” or “reparative therapy.” Sessions, she youth, conversion atrics released a wrote, consisted of therapists telling her she therapy adopts statement critical was “selfish and wrong and that I should look different but of efforts to “fix” to God for help.” equally detrimensexual identity tal strategies. through therapy, Tavares, a Columbus Democrat, said that’s Most commonly, cautioning that “it unacceptable. therapists “treatcan provoke guilt ing” children and anxiety while “I don’t want any therapy of that nature prac- struggling with having little or no ticed in the state,” she said. Tavares introtheir gender idenpotential for duced a similar bill in 2013 and is waiting on tity convince parachieving new language to be drafted prior to reintroents to strictly changes.” duction. police the child’s State Sen. Charleta Tavares Throughout the toys, clothing and Similar laws already are on the books in Cali- behavior. “Gen1990s, the Amerifornia, New Jersey and the District of Colum- der-appropriate” play is to be met with praise can Psychiatric Association, the American Psybia. Lawmakers in Hawaii, Illinois, and affection, while anything else results in chological Association and the National Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, New vocalized disapproval.

Association of Social Workers all took similar York, Pennsylvania, Vermont and Virginia also stances. They said conversion therapy was unare seeking bans. Ohio’s bill would be similar But most harmful of all is the contradiction in- necessary, ineffective and harmful. to others proposed and would likely prohibit herent in the premise of LGBT conversion therthe same set of therapeutic techniques. apy: It tells youth that they’re abnormal and Many of the resolutions only dealt with efforts then refuses to help them achieve what they to change sexual orientation. But more reThe techniques in question have varied over feel internally is normal. cently, the same organizations have been aftime and differ depending on whether they’re firming the right of transgender individuals to “treating” sexual orientation or gender iden- In her suicide note, Leelah Alcorn repudiated access crucial medical and mental health tity, but all have been shown to be ineffective those who said she could never be the gender services. and harmful. Historically, conversion therapy she felt inside. “Even if you are Christian or has included everything from hypnosis to are against transgender people don’t ever say But that’s only the first step. Tavares said chemical castration via synthetic estrogen in- that to someone. ... That won’t do anything but those professional organizations must be agjections. make them hate them self [sic]. That’s exactly gressive advocates if the bill is to succeed. what it did to me.”

More recently, ex-patients have spoken out “The industries themselves should be standoutlookohio.com

Rainbow Area Youth Toledo: raytoledo.org, 567.249.7135.

ing up and sending in letters of support,” she said.

So far, she expects the Ohio Psychological Association to be on her side; the organization backed a version of the bill when it was introduced two years ago.

When opponents see the list of professional associations that have denounced conversion therapy, Tavares said she hopes resistance will weaken.

In particular, opposition is likely to center around fears that the law would meddle with religious freedom and the right of parents to choose what they believe is best for their children. But similar appeals were dismissed in California when a panel of judges upheld that state’s ban on conversion therapy.

The courts said the state has an interest in banning professional treatments that it deems harmful.

On Dec 31, an online petition was launched on change.org proposing a federal law that would ban conversion therapy on minors in the United States. Coined “Leelah’s Law” and galvanized by her plea to “fix society,” it has since gotten more than 325,000 signatures.

Tavares said she knows public support is with her. She said she now just needs to wake up her colleagues in the Ohio General Assembly.

“That’s where I’d like the LGBT community to put pressure on their legislators,” she said.

“It’d be great if I had a Republican to sign on as a joint sponsor with me.”

Bryan Cole grew up in Dublin, Ohio, and graduated from Ohio State University in 2012. february 2015

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Transition Point Analysis

Love Matters

Parents: You Will Determine Your Child’s Future

by Brynn Tannehill

When I came out to my father as transgender at the age of 35, he had a lot to say about it.

“You should just go on anti-depressants to fix this.”

“You’ll never be seen as anything but an ugly woman.”

“God will visit a curse on your family for generations for this.”

“No one will ever love you again.”

I knew he would react badly, which was why I had put off that moment for years, despite being a successful, stable, professional adult with a family and a supportive partner for more than a decade.

When Leelah Alcorn came out to her parents as transgender, she was only 14. She depended on them for everything: shelter, food, finances, transportation and emotional support. I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of courage and desperation that announcement required.

She also probably had a pretty good idea that the news wouldn’t be received enthusiastically.

When her parents rejected her identity, isolated her from people supportive of her sexual orientation and gender identity, put her on anti-depressants in the hope that it would just make her not-trans and not-gay, they were following the bad advice of organizations like the Southern Baptist Convention.

The Southern Baptist Convention tells 18

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parents that not only do transgender peo- sanitized version of “God Hates Fags.” ple go to hell, but so do parents who support their transgender children.

It is not unconditional love when you tell children that who they are is an affront to What Leelah’s parents weren’t told by God’s plan for the universe. conservative religious leaders is that failure to support your child’s gender identity There are many resources out there for is often deadly. A recent study by the parents who want to support their transTrans Pulse Project showed that 57 pergender children. There are many supportcent of transgender youth in unsupportive ive, affirming and successful therapists homes had attempted suicide in the past who work with transgender youth and year. Transgender youth in supportive their parents. I recommend these therahomes had a suicide attempt rate of only pists and psychiatrists all the time as 4 percent. part of my work with PFLAG.

with a lack of acceptance and support.

Studies also show that children with supportive and accepting families have far better life outcomes. Accepting your gay or transgender child doesn’t mean abandoning your faith, either. There are many churches out there that welcome LGBT people and their families, including some evangelical denominations.

Most parents want what’s best for their children. Not many parents would deliberately do things that put their children at much higher risks of drug and alcohol abuse, depression, self-harm, homelessThere are support groups ness, HIV infection, sex work and suicide. for parents with transgen- Maybe Leelah’s parents would have der children, such as changed their minds if they had known PFLAG. The group has 12 the risks, had known there was a better active chapters in Ohio, in- way to handle their daughter’s coming cluding smaller communi- out, and had a support network. ties such as Wooster and Lima and Sandusky. PFLAG Unfortunately, her parents might also and GLSEN, the Gay, Les- have heard these facts and ignored them, bian and Straight Educa- deciding that the risk of suicide was outtion Network (there are weighed by the need to save the souls of Ohio chapters in Cincinboth their daughter and themselves. nati, Cleveland and Dayton), host meetings, If so, maybe society needs to decide activities and safe spaces whether people who believe their children The Williams Institute at UCLA found that for queer youth as well. are better off dead than LGBT should be 57 percent of transgender people with parents. families that rejected them had atGLSEN in particular helps build gaytempted suicide. The Williams Institute straight alliances at schools and works Need help? Visit The Trevor Project at also found that lesbian and gay people with administrators to reduce bullying thetrevorproject.org or call who undergo religious counseling are and harassment.

1.866.488.7386. You can also call more likely than those receiving none at 1.800.273.8255 for the National Suicide all to attempt suicide.

Other organizations such as the Family Prevention Lifeline.

Acceptance Project produce studies and Brynn Tannehill is a former Naval You cannot support your children while re- papers that give detailed guidance to Aviator who works as a research scijecting their identity or denying them nec- parents of LGBT youth on how best to entist in the Dayton area. She serves essary medical care. It is not support to support their children. on the board of Equality Ohio and writes for The Bilierico Project, The put children in reparative therapy and Huffington Post and The Good Men pastoral counseling and otherwise ham- These recommendations are backed by Project. Find her on Twitter at mer home a message that’s a slightly studies showing the many risks that come @BrynnTannehill.

“It is not support to put children in reparative therapy and pastoral counseling and otherwise hammer home a message that’s a slightly sanitized version of ‘God Hates Fags.’”

TransFamily (Northeast Ohio): transfamily.org, 216.691.4357.

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complete the circuit

Not Good Enough

by Mickey Weems She got her wish.

Leelah Alcorn’s name is now a rallying cry for the rights of Trans youth. Her suicide note has crossed international borders, been translated into multiple languages and earned her a dedication of a Golden Globe award.

But with every new thing done in her name, my anger increases. If suicide is what it takes to get people to care, then we’re just not doing enough.

Glitter and Glam Perhaps our efforts are misplaced.

Two media-savvy organizations, NOH8 and the Human Rights Campaign, rake in lots of cash each year. But NOH8’s funding goes back to their ad campaign. HRC has a history of deafness to Trans issues and young people.

Let’s give credit where it’s due, though.

NOH8’s face-painting photoshoot fundraising appeals to the youth. But NOH8 preaches to the rainbow choir - not many outside of our allies are even aware of what NOH8 even means.

Nevertheless, its draw for the youth is light years beyond HRC, whose outreach to young people seems limited to selling trendy Tshirts.

This is not to say awareness campaigns such as NOH8 are utterly worthless. As for

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Let’s Help Those Who Help Those in Our Own Communities

HRC, important work at the highest levels of government is necessary in Ohio and in Washington. But the massive amount of money our community donates to NOH8 and HRC sucks funding away from local groups that actually shelter the abused, take in the rejected, and protect the hunted.

cant,” said Karla Rothan of Stonewall Columbus. “We have built a relationship with Jac Stringer, who founded Heartland Trans* Wellness. Our collaboration will support both communities and created a bridge between cities and the rural areas in between Cincinnati and Columbus.”

Organizations such as TransOhio, Stonewall Columbus and the LGBT Community Center of Greater Cleveland, the Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization, Cincinnati’s Heartland Trans* Wellness, Toledo’s Pride Center 419 and the Pride Center of Greater Youngstown do not have all the glam of NOH8 and HRC, thank God.

Stonewall also has counseling services for Trans youth, as well as a Trans social group.

Those services, and others in other cities, are making a difference.

‘Leelah isn’t the first transgender person or even teenage client that Heartland has lost to suicide or murder in the last year.’

“Just today,” Rothan said in an online conversation with me, “a young transgender man who is in the beginning stages of transitioning had a very successful session with our counselors that included his parents.”

Fabulousness does not make a damn for a fright- Jonah Yokoyama, ened LGBT kid like Heartland Trans Center Leelah, locked up and silenced in the vast conservative wasteland between Heartland Trans* Wellness has been busy as Ohio’s major urban centers. well with Cincinnati Trans* Community Group. Jonah Yokoyama of Heartland said the group meets twice a month, once for In the Trenches Kings Mill, Leelah’s hometown, lies in one Trans-identified folks and once for a meetsuch zone between Cowtown and the Queen ing that’s open to everyone. There’s also City.

TeenSpace, a group for LGBT youth ages 1219, a space for parents, and a partners “Our work with Cincinnati has been signifi-

TeenSpace (Cincinnati): transwellness.org/teenspace, 513.549.4447.

group for people in relationships with Trans partners.

Yokoyama is critical of the effectiveness of large organizations at the local level.

“Time and again I have seen an organization with a large budget or national presence swoop in and try to do some work with the Transgender community,” he said, “But it often fails to make any impact and is not sustained. What often happens is these groups damage the work that a local organization, or simply group of community members, is doing and fragment the community.”

Risks for Non-White Trans People There’s a saying: “When White folks catch a cold, Black folks catch a fever.” When a bad situation hits the general public, the pain is often even more pronounced for people of color.

There are grassroots organizations for LGBT people of color and, once again, those organizations are underfunded.

According to Tyree Sanders, the counseling, testing and referral coordinator for the Greater Columbus MPowerment Center, Trans people of all races face a lot of the same challenges. Some challenges that Trans people of color face more than their peers, he said, are a lack of healthcare, high HIV and STI infection rates, and greater substance abuse because of mental health issues that don’t get addressed because of discrimination in the healthcare field. outlookohio.com

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Taking It Personally “Leelah’s parents are not to blame for Leelah’s death. No one is to blame,” Sanders said. And on one level, he is correct.

My own experiences, however, have rendered me less forgiving. My husband grew up in a rural area around Tiffin in Northwest Ohio. He was locked up in a psych ward some 25 years ago when he confided to his friends that he might be Bisexual.

I don’t blame his parents for what they did more than two decades ago. But this is no longer the 20th century. Five years ago, my nephew was calling me at 2 in the morning to talk about being Gay because he was afraid his parents might find out.

He finally got the guts to make them watch A Prayer for Bobby, a made-forTV movie about a Gay teen who commits suicide because his family and community don’t accept him. His parents got angry with him for trying to bully them.

When I spoke to his aunt about the real danger of suicide for our nephew - it is impossible to view his actions as anything other than desperate cries for help - she shrugged it off. Kids commit suicide all the time, she told me.

I have 12 nieces and nephews.

Chances are at least one more is LGBT, perhaps Trans. I no longer let their kinfolk off the hook for willful ignorance.

Neither are we, the LGBT community, off the hook. The best way to secure a safety net for LGBT youth is at the local level. For the good readers of Outlook, consider donating $4 to local groups for every $1 given to national organizations.

All over Ohio, there are young LGBT people on the verge of ending their lives. The clock is ticking.

Mickey Weems is a writer, educator and creator of the Qualia Encyclopedia of Gay Folklife. You can follow him at mickeyweems.com or qualiafolk.com, or email him at mickeyweems@yahoo.com.

Complete the Circuit runs every other month in Outlook. outlookohio.com

‘The Difference Between Life and Death’ Mickey Weems spoke with Jonah Yokoyama for his column. We wanted to share more of their conversation about Leelah Alcorn, the lack of funds and hope for the future.

Mickey Weems: Is the Cincinnati area difficult to serve?

Jonah Yokoyama: Yes, mainly because there are only two of us working on the provision of services and hundreds of clients in the area. Heartland provides resources and referrals for 13 states, and we also get calls and emails from other countries asking for help.

This stretches us very thin - and that’s before we begin to think about finances. We know the needs of the community but we don’t have the money or the people-power to meet all of the needs.

MW: What could any organization have done to save Leelah?

JY: Leelah isn’t the first transgender person or even teenage client that Heartland has lost to suicide or murder in the last year. Society and healthcare providers need to be educated so that trans* people are not subjected to pathologizing care, discrimination or hatred. We need legal protections, transition-related care, and non-discrimination policies.

Transgender individuals need support and community. It can be the difference between life and death. Being transgender can be an isolating experience. There are no natural gathering points for the transgender community like there are for many other minority groups.

Forty-one percent of transgender people attempt suicide at some point in their lives, compared to around 4 percent of the general population. We, especially transfeminine individuals of color, are disproportionately the target of violence.

MW: Are there success stories?

JY: We have seen many clients who have come from situations similar to Leelah’s but who were able to access the trans* community and have since blossomed. Folks who struggled with anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, who were assaulted and kicked out of their homes, have since gotten back on their feet.

Jonah Yokoyama describes himself as “a transman, artist, avid gamer, nature-lover and all-around geek.” Visit the Heartland Trans* Wellness Group’s website at transwellness.org or contact Yokoyama directly at jonah@transwellness.org or 513.620.4539.

Cincinnati Trans* Community Group: transwellness.org/ctcg, 513.549.4447.

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the other side

A REFUGE IN THE SPOTLIGHT

‘But Then I Found the Theater, and My Whole Life Changed’

by James Blackmon

I was in my first play when I was 12. I was a general in the Ozian Army in a children’s theater production of The Wizard Of Oz. Age 12 marks the beginning of a very sad time for me. I was a young closeted gay kid in Alabama in 1980 with no outlet for my gayness. I was a shy child and never wanted to draw attention to myself. I thought if people really saw me, my gay would be exposed and my secret would be out and everyone would hate me and my life would be ruined.

Although I already knew I was gay, I was 11 or 12 when my attraction to other guys became a problem for me. My male friends were beginning to notice girls and have girlfriends, and I was expected to do the same. It was horrible.

But then I found the theater, and my whole life changed. Acting, for me, was an escape.

As an actor, I didn’t have to be me anymore.

For a couple hours a night I could completely immerse myself into someone else.

All of my problems and my issues disappeared. Even if just for the duration of the play or the rehearsal, they were gone and I was at peace. And it was because of the the-

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ater that I realized I could have a happy life.

I’d discovered a culture where gay people were normal, working and living openly, side by side with straight people who saw us as equals.

Being active in community theater as a teen saved my life. I truly loved it and even decided to make a career in the theater as an actor, writer and director. I majored in theater at both my undergraduate and graduate schools. I had my plan, and I was on my way.

However, as often happens, as time progresses our plans change. I’m still an artist and a performer, but for the last 15 years I’ve worked almost exclusively as a musician.

And as rewarding as it has been traveling the world or entertaining a governor, I’ve really missed my life in the theater. A lot. I’m pretty sure I was happiest then.

So you can imagine how excited I was several months ago when I asked to direct the Broadway musical, Dreamgirls, for Imagine Productions in Columbus and consequently reacquaint myself with a part of me that’s been dormant for way too long. Well, excited and scared. I mean, it’s been 15 years since I directed anything. And other than acting in Imagine Productions’ Hairspray two years ago, I haven’t acted in almost 20 years.

What if I’ve lost it and can’t do it anymore?

What if it turns out that that part of me I seek is lost forever?

Fortunately, I don’t have time to worry about any of my demons. Looking at my cast and seeing how excited and honored they are to be a part of this production, how they’ve put their artistic and creative trust in me to guide and direct them through nine amazing performances and how they’ve sacrificed several hours a night, day after day, for weeks just to be in this show, I can’t help but feel obligated to not only make this a great show for our audience, but to also make this a memorable experience that exceeds my cast’s expectations.

I’ve discovered that this production is not just meaningful to me, marking my return to an art form I truly love, but similarly to Gerald Sinclair, who plays Wayne. He’s back in the theater after a 13-year hiatus and says he’s “truly grateful to have my reintroduction to theater be Dreamgirls.”

Also expressing his gratitude to be in Dreamgirls, Hubert Escarpeta, a member of my ensemble, says: “To be part of an amazing production such as Dreamgirls is an honor!”

let anyone down.

We open Feb 20, so there’re still a few weeks to go. And so far so good. I’m really proud of everyone. I’m even proud of myself. But most importantly, I’m just grateful to have rediscovered my true self, and be at peace again.

Dreamgirls

Imagine Productions presents nine performances.

February 20-22 and 27-28, March 1 and 6-8 at 7:30p @ Wall Street Night Club, 144 N Wall St, Columbus, 43215 Tickets are $17 or $65 for a table for four.

Visit imaginecolumbus.org for more.

James Blackmon is a musician, actor, director and former owner of James Club 88 in Columbus.

You can follow him on Twitter at @MrJamesBlackmon. The Other Side runs every other month in Outlook.

Everyone feels that way. And I don’t want to

Diverse City Youth Chorus (Cincinnati): diversecityyouthchorus.com, 513.965.1568.

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Heartland Trans* Wellness Group: transwellness.org, 513.549.4447.

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dyke like me

You Need Some Spice, to Wake Up Gir ls How Romance From its

by Brooke Cartus

How’s that New Year’s resolution going? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

After a dedicated few weeks of hitting the gym, those taco trucks and microbrews sucked you back in with their delicious fatty forces. Those skinny jeans are still a little snug, and you just don’t feel as sexy as you used to. Well. WHO CARES. You look FABULOUS. And I’m sure your partner thinks so, too.

If you ask a straight woman what LBD stands for, she will most likely look confused and say, “little black dress?” She’s wrong.

Before tiny cocktail dresses designed to show off those amazing Michelle Obama arms that your personal trainer Rico perfected, there was the OG LBD: Lesbian Bed Death. It’s here, we’re queer, get used to it.

LBD has been around for centuries, and the discovery of Netflix and Taco Bell has only made this pandemic more widespread. I’m here to tell you how to fight LBD during one of the most romantic months of the year. February has so many romantic holidays: Valentine’s Day, Groundhog Day, President’s Day each more magical than the last.

I know what you’re wondering: “Brooke, why would I trust you for advice?”

That’s an excellent question. I’m a queer serial monogamist with more than a decade of relationship experience (never mind that five of those years were with a gay man), and I am here to tell you it DOES get better. But you better werk.

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Tip #1: Recognize You Have a Problem TALK ABOUT IT. Acknowledge that the bedroom has been... lackluster as of late. Maybe don’t use that word, but communication is crucial. Talk about it with your significant other. Maybe she didn’t even realize it was an issue for you. Tread lightly, but be honest. You both deserve happiness and really great sex.

Tip #2: Stop Worrying About What You Look Like Naked Your partner is with you because she likes you and/or loves you. Either way, those eight pounds you put on over the holidays don’t really change her feelings toward you. Anyway, big butts are IN. (Wait, are they still in?

FACK.) Lesbians are notorious for putting on weight in a relationship (read: happy weight.) And while couples gym memberships are sexy, sometimes licking fluff off each other’s lower backs is even sexier.

Tip #3: Treat Yo’ Self What makes you feel good? A massage, a thrift store find, a pedicure? Whatever you dig, go do it. It doesn’t have to be pricey, but when you feel confident, sexiness usually follows.

Tip #4: Treat Yo’ Partner Hitting a relationship slump happens to everyone, and sometimes the best thing to do is to - you guessed it do something for YOUR PARTNER. Again, it doesn’t have to break the bank: a neck massage, making dinner, giving her a night where you do ALL her favorite things. That is romance.

“Those eight pounds you put on over the holidays don’t really change her feelings toward you... Leave the light on, or at least light a candle.

You look good.

I promise.”

For me, that night involves bourbon, Yahtzee and Spice Girls Pandora, but everyone is different.

Sometimes, resentment builds up over time, especially when action in the bedroom cools down. Doing something thoughtful is a nice reminder to the person you’re dating that you don’t just love them, you also kind of like them.

Maybe that’s just my thing.

Regardless, leave the light on, or at least light a candle. You look good. I promise.

Long WinterÊs Nap

Tip #5: Break Out of Your Rut... With a Sledgehammer I love a routine - it keeps me sane especially

PFLAG Columbus: columbuspflag.org, 614.806.8025.

when life gets hectic. But there is a difference between a schedule and a rut. If you find yourself re-watching The Wire every night and playing Clash of Clans next to each other on the couch, you may want to break your routine. Maybe it’s just one night a week where you turn off ALL electronic devices. I know I’m being irrational. But breaking a pattern like that can remind you why you are together in the first place and can certainly lead to at least heavy petting.

Tip #6: JUST DO IT So you’ve talked about sex, you’ve discussed it, you’ve written emails about it and texted about it. Now it’s time to do it. Put on some Spice Girls and go to town.

All of these tidbits of advice will work anytime of year, but after a long Midwestern winter, they may be just the trick to shaking off the dust from... wherever the dust has settled. I don’t claim to be an expert on much of anything, but if I know one thing, it’s how sexy the Spice World album can be.

Go ahead and download it. Trust me, you won’t regret it..

Brooke Cartus is a Chapstick lesbian attending law school at Ohio State University. To hear about the latest in LGBT news, diet tips and fashion trends involving cargo shorts, check out her blog, Size L for Lady, at brookecartus.com/category/blog. outlookohio.com

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Youth First-Greater Dayton: pflagdayton.org/youthfirst.html, 937.640.3333.

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Cupid Ain’t Stupid:

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❤♥

Valentine’s Gifts That’ll Getcha Some

by Mikey Rox

Christmas hasn’t been gone for long, but there’s another gift-buying season right around the corner. The best thing about Valentine’s Day, though, is that it really is the thought that counts.

(People lie about that at holiday time.)

To help you pick the perfect gift for your sweetie, here’s 10 fun and frisky ideas that they’ll love to unwrap.

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Kiss Pillows and Paintings Contemporary artist Olesya Robison gives puckery pouts the glam-rock treatment in her Kiss collection, featuring oil-on-canvas conversation starters and in-your-face throw pillows with just the right amount of pop.

The former – officially titled “Candy Crush Kiss” – features 24k gold flakes imported from France and genuine Swiss Swarovski crystals, while the latter gives your urban space a sultry smooch. $65-$1,000, olyrobison.com.

The Gay Gospel

360 Mini Massager

Nip+Man

Twenty-something singles don’t have to spend another lonely Valentine’s Day down in the dumps when they can curl up with a confidenceboosting book.

Instead of outsourcing your lover’s spa-quality shiatsu session, get hands-on at home this year with Moji’s 360 Mini Massager - the perfect palm-sized device to help put a little passion back in the bedroom.

If your bae is focused on staying buff (lucky you!), Nip+Man male grooming products will help him stay studly and cuddly while enhancing that bangin’ bod.

Justin Luke Zirilli’s The Gay Gospel levels the playing field for today’s young gay men with his no-nonsense but often-hysterical advice on everything from sex and dating to family and finances. Couples, too, can enjoy this quick guide to love, relationships and everything in between.

From $6.95, justinlukenyc.com.

Pride Center 419 (Toledo): FB: PRIDE Center 419.

More than just a skin care line for men, this range of prodEquipped with seven rotat- ucts is designed to emphasize natural contours and improve ing steel spheres to help ease the tension out of the skin texture. The lineup intoughest spots, this flexi- cludes the usual suspects like ble massager features an face wash and after-shave loadjustable clasp for a con- tion, but there also are more toured fit so the two of you manly additions like Pec Fix, can take turns getting Bicep Fix and Ab Fix, the names of which alone will knotty - er, naughty - all make you want to rip off his night. clothes. $29.95, gomoji.com. $60.84, GNC.com.

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Bits of Love Jewelry If you’re not quite ready to take the legal plunge with your main squeeze, Bits of Love jewelry can help you effectively express your four-letter affection without signing an anxiety-inducing lifelong contract.

Each solid-sterling silver ring is handcrafted in the United States, and a portion of sales benefit Street Poets Inc., a poetry initiative for at-risk youth that believes in the power of words to transform. $95, bitsoflovestyle.com.

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Perfect Reject Plush Sculptures There’s a certain beauty in our own flaws - and those of our better halves - and that concept has never been captured more poignantly than by Perfect Reject, plush sculptures that aptly celebrate difference and diversity in a tattered-and-torn collection of misfit dolls.

Casetify Help your partner preserve his or her selfies, usies and other photos while protecting his or her digital lifeblood with a custom case from Casetify.

You’ll create functional sentiment - to complement an iPhone, iPod, iPad or With an emphasis on tolerance Android devices - by and compassion, these hand- pulling pics from Facebook and Instagram to build a crafted keepsakes are as unique as the love between you collage of images in a seand your SO, and each one is a lection of patterns, includtestament to the resilience and ing a heart. Because each case is made-to-order, imperfection of your relationship. Available in an array of allow ample time to receive animals and pop-culture icons. it before the big day. $150-$375, From $29.95, perfectreject.com. casetify.com.

Whiskey Explorers Club

Brickell Men’s Products

Does your honey have an affinity for high-end hooch?

Send your message of love by the bottle with the Whiskey Explorers Club, a one-time or quarterly gift set that packs a powerful punch.

Give your sweetie the gift of smooth, caressable skin with the full line of natural grooming products from Brickell.

Heart Swatch Let your sweetie know your love will stand the test of time with Unlock My Heart, the newest addition to the expansive heart-themed collection from Swatch.

For V-Day, pick up the giftable-from-the-getco Men’s A portable lock of love to Starter Kit, which includes make sure your romance never misses a beat, this latEach shipment contains four travel-size scented or unscented face wash, shave est addition is inspired by the airplane-bottle-sized samcream, aftershave, moistur- love padlocks representing ples labeled with a generic code. To find out what you’re izer, hand balm and bar soap. happy relationships that notably adorn bridges in Europe. tasting, you can turn the ex- $45, perience into an interactive brickellmensproducts.com. $70, swatch.com. game where you provide Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and blogger tasting notes and ratings whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets while enjoying a rousing edi- across the world, including CNN.com, The Huffington Post, tion of My Whiskey IQ. The Advocate, Instinct magazine, and Out.com, among From $75, many others. He lives in Manhattan with his husband and their cuddle-buddy furbaby. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox. forwhiskeylovers.com.

Teen Pride Network (Akron): FB: Teen Pride Network, 330.252.1559.

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creative class

by Luke Darby

Angels in Cleveland

President Obama drew loud criticism last year for what people thought was a lack of response to the threat of the Ebola virus. But the federal government’s reaction to the single-digit death toll in the United States is leagues beyond the Reagan administration’s apathy toward AIDS at the height of the epidemic in the mid-1980s.

This is the setting for Tony Kuchner’s Angels in America, the two-part play that premiered in 1991, won a Pulitzer Prize, became a Mike Nicols-directed HBO miniseries starring Meryl Streep and Al Pacino, and this month opens in Cleveland’s Playhouse Square as a Cleveland State University production.

“This is a show that I’ve always wanted to do, and it’s been on my mind since I saw it,” said Russell Borski, an associate professor in the university’s department of theater and dance and the director of Angels.

Cleveland State’s production opens Feb 26 in the Outcalt Theatre in the Allen Theatre complex at Playhouse Square, where the theater program is a resident company. Borski said the university’s affiliation with Playhouse Square was a major factor in his decision to join the faculty, and the theater program’s growth is what drove his decision to finally produce Angels.

“I think we have the right undergraduates,” he said. “We have eight actors, and each has a lot to bring to the table.”

They’re going to need to bring a lot, too.

The play is a period piece that mixes surrealism and dream visions with the political climate of the mid-1980s, but the set will be spare and minimalist. It’s what Borski keeps referring to as “elemental.”

“We’re trying to create an architectural surrounding that looks kind of like a meat locker. It’s supposed to tell the audience where we are but not fill in all the blanks.” Roy Kohn’s apartment, for

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example, will be a chair and a lamp. His office: a desk and two chairs.

“The actors are going to have to create that inner environment for each scene,” Borski said. “And there are 26 scenes so it’s going to be very fastpaced.”

The average age of the cast is about 20, so the issues and politics of the era is something they didn’t experience. “I need to find a way to make that hit home with them because the stakes need to be set very high,” Borski said.

Joining the production team is lighting designer Trad Burns, who worked as a lighting assistant on the first production of Angels, back when it debuted. Burns has gone on to become a celebrated lighting designer for dance and ballet but enjoys returning to theater plays sporadically, especially when it affords him the opportunity to work with directors who have a background in design, like Borski.

Burns and Borksi also worked together last year for CSU’s production of Cabaret, which also performed at Outcalt. “I would not want to be a teacher, ever,” Burns said. “But this is one of the moments where you get to teach while still doing your job. Those internships that happened in the theater world when I was younger don’t happen in the same way. Kids at CSU would never, even if they were brilliant, have the opportunities I had. So giving back to students at their age is really important.”

The chance to go back to Angels, one of the first shows he ever worked on outside of school, has him excited.

“I got to watch artists create the greatest work of American theater of that generation. Sometimes plays feel dated not long after they’re made, and though the world has changed in terms of AIDS and how we deal with people who have AIDS, it still hits home in other ways.”

The play certainly dates itself - with references to the Iraq-Iran War and the

LGBT Community Center of Greater Cleveland: lgbtcleveland.org, 216.651.5428.

discovery of the hole in the ozone layer - but these are details that contribute to a historical setting.

“I think it has to be as brutal today as when it was first presented,” Borski said. “I remember going to both shows in one day and it was so devastating to see the whole arc of the show in one day and it stayed with me. I think it has to be immediate and has to be true to human relationships.”

As he says it, the play has to balance between the weight of the real world AIDS, abandonment, loss - and the hallucinogenic world where characters appear and reappear as angels. It’s “a conceptual piece based in reality,” to use his words.

“This show is something contemporary and poignant even today. Our society has changed a lot since the show was first produced, but I think it’s still relevant today when it comes to the rigidity and greed of politics that still influence us on a daily basis.”

Angels in America Feb 26-March 1, March 5-8 @ Outcalt Theatre, Playhouse Square Cleveland, 44115 Tickets: $10 $5 for CSU students $8 with college ID Available at playhousesquare.org or by phone at 216.241.6000 or 1.866.546.1353.

Dinner and a Show Friday, March 6 $20 includes dinner at Elements Bistro on Euclid, 2300 Euclid Ave, Cleveland, 44115, and ticket to 7:30p show.

Luke Darby is a Louisiana native writing about food and culture wherever he winds up.

Currently that’s Cleveland Heights. You can follow him online at lukedarby.com or on Twitter at @DukeLarby february 2015

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boobtube

’Tis the Season

The Weather Outside Is Frightful, but the Binge-Watching Is So Delightful

by Pete Lovering

Now that we’re in the throes of the cold season, it’s suddenly socially acceptable to stay in bed and watch endless hours of TV in the thermal onesies we bought for ourselves with holiday gift cards.

While that might be an oddly specific method for watching our favorite stories, there’s no denying that the joy of staying indoors is much easier to justify when the weather is crappy. So enjoy it while it lasts with some quality entertainment on your favorite streaming services.

Transparent Where to Watch: Amazon Prime Perfect For: People pessimistic about the state of American television; people who were given Amazon Prime as part of a credit card application.

TV’s hottest show is Transparent. And this show has everything: laughs, genuine cries, hot wigs, hotter sex and, most importantly, tons of heart. While it centers on the recent decision of Jeffrey Tambor’s character, Maura, to come out as transgender, the real trouble lies elsewhere in the family. Amazon’s first foray into original programming is, and this is not said lightly, the best family show in years.

JaÊmie: Private School Girl Where to Watch: HBO Go Perfect For: People who enjoy the wacky ways Australians pronounce certain words; people who think Mean Girls really wasn’t that mean.

Think of Ja’mie: Private School Girl as sort of the Borat of Chris Lilley’s Summer Heights High. Ja’mie (actually Jamie but the apostrophe was added) is a nasty little twerp, and it’s always a joy to cringe at her awfulness.

Lilley, Australia’s hardest working little gogetter of sketch and character comedy, commits 100 percent to Ja’mie, a spoiled and hilariously cruel girl in her last year of high school.

I Am Divine Where to Watch: Netflix Perfect For: People who aspire to owning a suitcase just for wigs; college syllabi.

John Waters’s muse brought filth to life in such a way that even your grandparents know who she is, even if they’d never watch Pink Flamingoes for the world.

RuPaulÊs Drag Race Where to Watch: Logotv.com, Hulu Perfect For: Those of us who overuse terms like shade and realness; fans of bright colors.

Black Mirror Where to Watch: Netflix Perfect For: People who hypocritically yell at people who text and drive yet constantly do it themselves; doomsday-sayers.

Drag Race grabbed hold of the reality-competition formula that shows like Project Runway and America’s Next Top Model have been recycling for years, plucked its eyebrows, painted its face and tucked its conventions in a place that anatomically shouldn’t work out. But it does. It really does.

This is one of those shows that vindicates people who constantly claim British TV is superior to the stuff we churn out across the pond. An anthology program, each episode is its own story and has its own cast, but the underlying tone is consistent throughout, namely that we’re all a bunch of cell phone-

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addicted screen junkies who’ll swallow anything. The show shines blacklight on our brave new world and the media that consumes us. It’s bleak, it’s ballsy, and it might make you sick.

Six Feet Under Where to Watch: HBO Go or Amazon Prime Perfect For: Those who find every conversation to be an opportunity for profound insight; preDexter Michael C Hall devotees.

An oldie but a goodie and one of the HBO shows that recently became available on Amazon. Hall’s performance as David, the shy, conservative middle child, really put HBO on the map as one of the most gay-friendly networks in the business. Well, that and Oz. Heck, watch Oz, too, while you’re at it.

Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement Where to Watch: Netflix Perfect For: Bio-doc fans; unapologetic “beyourself” types.

How many states have legalized gay marriage now? Like, 80? United States v. Windsor was a very important catalyst for the momentum in this new decade for same-sex couples, and this documentary goes into the human side of the relationship between Edie Windsor and Thea Spyer, the plaintiffs in the case.

Masters of Sex Where to Watch: Showtime Anytime Perfect For: The people who knew where to find every book about sex in the library; Mad Men fans who wish that show had more hanky-panky.

tally strips on screen, for science! Showtime’s period drama is about the stuffy 1950s and the sex researchers who changed the way the world thinks about the beast with two backs.

Orphan Black Where to Watch: Amazon Prime Perfect For: Conspiracy theorists; people who consistently lose the “Will I leave my bed today or will I keep watching X?” battle.

Suffice to say, there’s a lot going on in this show, so let’s not spoil too much. This series, which comes from Canada but aired on BBC America, focuses on a series of clones and a large conspiracy that’ll give you enough of a headache to need regular water breaks but not enough to give you a headache.

Torchwood Where to Watch: Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime Perfect For: Nerds!; Welsh accent enthusiasts.

Let’s start off with the not-so-obvious: Torchwood is an anagram for Doctor Who, so expect monsters and young commonwealth people fighting the good fight to neutralize aliens. However, while the shows have much in common, Torchwood is sort of like the Doctor’s fun-loving, sexually ambiguous cousin you can flirt with and not feel guilty about it.

Pete Lovering is a freelance humorist, and you can watch him act weird with his dog on Instagram at @lover_ing.

Yeah, it’s that show where Alison Janney to-

PFLAG Dayton: pflagdayton.org, 937.640.3333.

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by Chris Azzopardi Kathy Griffin isn’t kidding when she says, “If I can get serious for one second...”

Putting aside her usual biting assault against all things celebrity, the comedian gets candid about her dear friend and idol Joan Rivers in our latest interview. Griffin took over Rivers’ seat on E!’s Fashion Police in January and will be part of the show’s Oscars coverage this month.

Chris Azzopardi: Hi, Kathy, how are ya?

Kathy Griffin: Umm, this isn’t gonna go out to any, uh, gay people, right, Chris? Because, you know, you give those people an inch, they’ll take a mile.

CA: Are you talking about penis size?

KG: I’m talking about, when are we gonna end it with the letters and the numbers, Chris!

LGBTQIA-2-3-4-5! Dammit!

I’ve got a GLAAD Vanguard Award and an HRC Award and I still can’t keep up.

CA: I’m gay myself and I can’t keep up.

KG: Which letter or number are you?

CA: Just the G for now.

KG: Look, Chris, you’ve gotta up your game. You’ve gotta stick in at least - can’t you be a Q? How hard is it to be a “questioning”?

CA: For you, Kathy, I could be a Q. And I could be a number.

KG: OK, good. I just wanted to get a little something out of you, because, you know, I gotta be up on the times with the LGBTQIA2s, and from what I understand you people are adding letters on a daily basis.

ally meaningful. And I know it’s a silly show - we’re gonna make fun of silly celebrities and pictures - but Joan was such a good pal to me, but also an unrecognized pioneer in many ways.

CA: Of everything you’ve done - books, television, and now Fashion Police - where does standup rank for you at this point in your career?

KG: Number one always. First and foremost. ... No matter what sort of trendy device for finding our art exists, nothing can ever replace the live experience. ...

That live experience can’t be faked. You cannot lip sync a comedy show. You can’t do them in seven seconds. You can’t Instagram it. You can’t edit it. The live experience is still gonna be the most pure artistically. It’s where I reaaaally don’t hold back.

I mean, Fashion Police is gonna be - I’m gonna try to get fired, let’s face it. I’m gonna try to say something so heinous I get fired - same with any talk-show appearance - but honestly, the live experience, it’s the one place you can’t get fired.

CA: Being that I’m a gay man, I’m naturally concerned about Cher, one of your BFFs. How is she doing health-wise? Is she better?

KG: She is! She just texted me last night and she hit me right back and she’s feeling better. It’s funny, I reached out for the same reason you did: I was like, “I’m a gay man and I need to know,” and she was like (in Cher voice), “I’m feelin’ a lot betta.”

She texted me back in seconds. If she’s able to text me back within five seconds, I’m thinkin’ that’s a good sign. And of course she stuck in some emojis, which I think is an even better sign.

CA: Which emoji did she send?

KG: She did two lips - kisses.

CA: Good. I’d be concerned if she did “happy poop.”

KG: Six of one and half dozen of the other. They’re both good emojis from Cher.

Kathy Griffin’s a Real A 32

CA: So, Kathy, congratulations on Fashion Police!

KG: Thank you! I am soooo excited! I mean, obviously I have the biggest shoes in the world to fill. But the fact that Joan and I were such good pals - and, in fact, discussed the show many, many times - it’s just, for me, if I can get serious for one second, actufebruary 2015

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

YOUnify Theatre Company (Youngstown): younifytheatre.org, 330.746.0404.

outlookohio.com

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Kathy Takes On...

Nick Jonas nakedness: “Nobody wants to see him with his shirt on. Take the shirt off and sing, Marky Mark Jr.”

Kardashian nakedness: “I am not gonna be happy until I see one of them doing a live actual anal bleaching, and I’m assuming it’s gonna be Kylie.”

Bill Cosby: “Umm, I’m gonna go with probably guilty because he’s probably guilty. I don’t have a story, but I’m just saying, those types of stories have been circulating as long as I’ve been in comedy, so frankly I just wish this stuff would’ve been exposed decades earlier, because I’m gonna go with allegedly probably guilty.”

Taylor Swift: “I don’t wanna use the word chubby.

I’m just gonna say she’s gotten a little...

I’m gonna go with tubby. Because, you know, she knows she’s gotta stay under 95 pounds or else the career is over.”

The Gs’ Favorite Ally Talks ‘Fashion Police,’ Joan, Cher Want more Kathy?

Check out our past interviews on OutookOhio.com outlookohio.com

PFLAG Akron: pflagakron.org, 330.342.5825.

february 2015

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Out & About

CLEVELAND-AKRON / NORTHEAST THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 5 Work It Out! @ Case Western Reserve University’s Tinkham Veale University Center, Kelvin & Eleanor Smith Ballroom B, 11038 Bellflower Rd, Cleveland, 44106; 216.368.LGBT; FB: Case Western Reserve University’s LGBT Center: The free forum (you must register via Eventbrite, though) about LGBT issues in the workplace includes a “speed dating”-type session to meet prospective employers. Bring your resume. 6p-8p.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7 Team CLE Night at the Lake Erie Monsters @ Quicken Loans Arena, 1 Center Court, Cleveland, 44115; teamcle.org: The umbrella group for Cleveland’s LGBT sports leagues and teams is hosting a night for LGBT fans at a Lake Erie Monsters minor-league hockey game. The night includes a buffet dinner, beer and wine. 7p; $60.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20 SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 22 Leadership Summit for HIV-Positive Young Adults @ Holiday Inn City Center, 175 E Town St, Columbus, 43215; 1.800.226.5554; ohioaidscoalition.org: Workshops are taught by professionals in their fields and run the gamut of social and medical issues. The application deadline is Feb 12.

nation’s move toward marriage equality.

Guest: Zac Hudak as Athena Ghost. 3p; $5 suggested donation.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14 Hearts and Harnesses @ Cocktails Akron, 1009 S Main St, Akron, 44311; 330.376.2625; FB: Cocktails Akron: The Valentine’s night to benefit the Rangers, Akron’s leather club, includes a Hot Buns Akron Contest, a 50/50 raffle and the chance to shoot Cupid’s arrow for prizes. 9p-1a.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20 RuPaul’s Drag Race Battle of the Seasons @ Connor Palace, 1615 Euclid Ave, Cleveland, 44115; 216.241.6000 or 866.546.1353; playhousesquare.org: Michelle Visage hosts a cast of RPDR legends: Alaska, BenDeLaCreme, Courtney Act, Ivy Winters, Jinkx Monsoon, Raja and Sharon Needles. 9p; $35-$75.

TOLEDO / NORTHWEST

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7 Movie Screening: Vessel @ People Called Women, 6060 Renaissance Place, Toledo, 43623; 419.469.8983; peoplecalledwomen.com: Vessel is about Dutch Dr. Rebecca Gomperts, who founded Women on Waves, a pro-choice group that takes reproductive health services via ship to countries that restrict rights. 7p; $5-$15.

COLUMBUS / CENTRAL CeCe McDonald on Racism

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1 & FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6 - SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8 Virginia West’s Stadium Virginium: The Return @ Axis, 775 N High St, Columbus, 43215; 614.291.4008; axisonhigh.com: Virginia will, Virginia will rock you. As will her cast. 8p (Sat, 2/7 shows are at 5p and 9p); $12-$75.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 4 CeCe McDonald on Racism, Mass Incarceration and Trans Liberation @ Ohio State University Drinko Hall Room 252, 55 W 12th Ave Columbus, 43210, FB: International Socialist Organization - Columbus: CeCe McDonald and friends were confronted and harassed CINCINNATI /SOUTHWEST outside a bar in Minneapolis by people using racist and transphobic slurs. She defended herself and served 19 months in prison for the TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 3 Dining Out for Life @ 27 different restaudeath of one of the attackers. Her case became rants; 513.619.1483; a cause for LGBT activists nationwide. 7p. diningoutforlife.com/Cincinnati: Participating restaurants and bars in the Cincinnati area THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12 will donate a portion of each check (see the Bi Local Happy Hour @ Bossy Grrls Pin Up full list at the website) to Caracole, the reJoint, 2598 N High St, Columbus, 43202: FB: gion’s HIV/AIDS services provider. Three are Bi Local: The group for bi, pansexual and donating 100 percent: Below Zero Lounge queer Central Ohio residents hosts its monthly (dinner and late-night), Macaron Bar (any mix-and-mingle event. 6p-8p. meal) and Park + Vine (lunch).

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 18 Condom Couture @ Shadowbox Live, 503 S SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7 SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7 Front St, Columbus, 43215; 614.224.2235; Mardi Gras Celebration @ Windows on the Opera Ain’t No Drag @ Collingwood Arts Cencondom-couture.com: Planned Parenthood River, 2000 Sycamore St, Cleveland, 44113; ter, 3101 Collingwood Blvd, Toledo, 43620; and Ohio design students celebrate National 216.556.0590; ncmchorus.org: Bourbon Street Toledo Opera performers and local drag Condom Week with a runway show where the cuisine, a live and silent auction, and a perqueens combine talents for a night like no clothes are made of condoms. 7p; $50-$750. formance by the North Coast Men’s Chorus. other. 7:30p; $15.

6:30p-11p; $50-$1,500.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20 MONDAY, FEBRUARY 23 SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 21 SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8 What’s the Lowdown on the Down Low @ Vox on the Rocks/Columbus Jazz Orchestra Blazing River Freedom Band: Same Love @ Collingwood Arts Center/Pride Center 419, @ Lincoln Theatre, 769 E Long St, Columbus, Archwood United Church of Christ, 2800 Arch- 3101 Collingwood Blvd, Toledo, 43620; FB: 43203, 614.469.0939 or 1.800.745.3000; wood Ave, Cleveland, 44109; 321.745.7420; Ygp Toledo: Young, Gay & Proud, a local group cgmc.com: Vox, the select ensemble of the blazingriverband.org: The LGBT concert band for African-American men, hosts its first disColumbus Gay Men’s Chorus, teams with the performs a show that celebrates love and the cussion of the year. 6p.

CJO for two nights of concerts. 8p; $35.

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THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 26 SUNDAY, MARCH 1 Leading Ladies @ McConnell Arts Center, 777 Evening St, Worthington, 43085; 614.431.0329; wctpresents.org: The Worthington Community Theatre presents this comedy about two down-and-out actors who take on the roles of a lifetime - as women.

7:30p (2p show on March 1); $12.

Huckleberry House (Columbus): huckhouse.org, 614.294.6109.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14 Cincinnati Men’s Chorus: Making Love @ The Cabaret, 1122 Walnut St, Cincinnati, 45202; 513.542.2626; cincinnatimenschorus.org: The chorus sings songs that celebrate all aspects of love. 7p; ticket information TBA. SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 28 Greater Cincinnati HRC Gala @ Horseshoe Casino Cincinnati, 1000 Broadway St, Cincinnati, 45202; FB: Greater Cincinnati HRC: Cincinnati’s local chapter of the Human Rights Campaign hosts its annual dinner/celebration. 5:30p; $150-$175. outlookohio.com

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OHIO LGBT NIGHTLIFE ROUNDUP BARS & CLUBS

ATHENS / SOUTHEAST Cornelius Jones Jr

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 4 National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day @ Ohio University’s Baker University Center Theater, Athens, 45701; 740.593.0239; ohio.edu/lgbt: Cornelius Jones Jr, an actor and writer, will speak on the topic of “Arts, Advocacy and Wellness” at the OU observance. 7p.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12 It Gets Better @ Ohio University’s TempletonBlackburn Alumni Memorial Auditorium 47 E Union St, Athens, 45701; 740.593.0239; ohio.edu/lgbt: The It Gets Better Tour will spend the week in Athens to host educational workshops, and the residency will end with local choirs joining the group for a performance. 7:30p.

Akron

Adams Street 77 N Adams St Akron, Ohio 44305 330.434.9794 adamsstreetbar.com FB: Adams Street Bar Cocktails 1009 S Main St Akron, Ohio 44311 330.376.2625 FB: Cocktails Akron

Interbelt 70 N Howard St Akron, Ohio 44310 330.253.5700 interbelt.com FB: Interbelt Nite Club Square Night Club 820 W Market St Akron, Ohio 44310 330.374.9661 squarenightclub.com FB: Square Nightclub Tear-Ez 360 S Main St Akron, Ohio 44311 330.376.0011 tear-ez.com Canton

DAYTON / WEST

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 10 Why Marriage Matters @ Sinclair Community College Library, 444 W 3rd St, Dayton, 45402; sinclair.edu/student/talks: As part of the Sinclair Talks series, speakers will address the topic of marriage equality. Noon-1p.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14 Women’s Valentine’s Dance Party @ the Dayton Women’s Club, 225 N Ludlow St, Dayton, 45402; 937.274.1776; daytonlgbtcenter.org: They’ll be crowning the very first Valentine’s princess and Valentine’s queen.

7p; $15 ($10 for LGBT Center members).

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 28 Bowling for Pride @ Poelking Lanes, 1403 Wilmington Ave, Dayton, 45420; 937.274.1776; daytonlgbtcenter.org: A day of bowling, with “not-so-usual” games and prizes, to raise money for Dayton Pride. 1p outlookohio.com

Crew 304 Cherry Ave NE Canton, Ohio 44702 330.575.5548 FB: Crew Canton Studio 704 704 4th St SW Canton, Ohio 44702 330.453.1220 Cincinnati

Bar 32 701 Bakewell St Covington, Ky 41011 859.431.7011 bar32covky.com FB: Bar 32 Cov KY

Below Zero Lounge 1120 Walnut St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.421.9376 belowzerolounge.com FB: Below Zero Lounge The Cabaret 1122 Walnut St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.202.4052 cabaretcincinnati.com FB: The Cabaret

The Dock 603 Pete Rose Way Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.241.5623 FB: The Dock Complex Home Base Tavern 2401 Vine St Cincinnati, Ohio 45219 513.721.1212 FB: HBT Home Base Tavern

216.589.8588 leatherstallion.com FB: The Stallion Leather Stallion Saloon Mean Bull / Aura 1313 E 26th St Cleveland, Ohio 44114 216.812.3330 meanbull.com FB: Mean Bull Cleveland

Exile 893 N 4th St Columbus, Ohio 43201 614.299.0069 exilebar.com FB: Exile Level Dining Lounge 700 N High St Columbus, Ohio 43215 614.754.7111 levelcolumbus.com FB: Level Dining Lounge

Paradise Inn 4488 State Rd Cleveland, Ohio 44109 216.741.9819 Slammers FB: Paradise Inn 202 E Long St Columbus, Ohio 43215 Twist 614.221.8880 FB: Slammers Old Street Saloon 11633 Clifton Blvd Cleveland, Ohio 44102 13 Old St 216.221.2333 Southbend Monroe, Ohio 45050 FB: Twist Sc Tavern 513.539.9183 126 E Moler St oldstreetbar.com Columbus, Ohio 43207 FB: Old Street Saloon Vibe 11633 Lorain Ave 614.444.3386 Cleveland, Ohio 44111 FB: Southbend Tavern On Broadway 216.476.1970 817 Broadway St The Toolbox Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 vibecleveland.com FB: Vibe Bar + Patio Saloon 513.421.2555 744 Frebis Ave FB: On Broadway Bar Columbus Columbus, Ohio 43206 614.670.8113 Rosie’s Tavern AWOL FB: The Toolbox Saloon 643 Bakewell St 49 Parsons Ave Covington, Ky 41011 Columbus, Ohio Tremont Lounge 859.291.9707 43215 708 S High St rosiestavernnky.com 614.621.8779 Columbus, Ohio 43206 FB: Rosie’s Tavern awolbar.com 614.444.2041 FB: Awol Bar FB: Tremont Lounge Shooters 927 Race St Union Café Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 Axis 775 N High St 782 N High St 513.381.9900 Columbus, Ohio Columbus, Ohio 43215 FB: Shooters Bar 43215 614.421.2233 614.291.4008 unioncafe.com Simon Says axisonhigh.com FB: Union Cafe 428 Walnut St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 FB: Axis Wall Street 513.381.7577 Cavan Irish Pub Night Club 1409 S High St 144 N Wall St Columbus, Ohio Columbus, Ohio 43215 Cleveland 43207 614.464.2800 614.725.5502 FB: Wall Street Night Cocktails cavanirishpub.com Club 9208 Detroit Ave FB: Cavan Irish Pub Cleveland, Ohio Dayton 44102 Club 20 216.961.3115 20 E Duncan St Argos FB: Cocktails CleveColumbus, Ohio 301 Mabel St land 43202 Dayton, Ohio 45403 614.261.9111 937.252.2976 The Hawk FB: Club 20 11217 Detroit Ave Masque Cleveland, Ohio Club Diversity 20 N Jefferson St 44102 863 S High St Dayton, Ohio 45402 216.521.5443 Columbus, Ohio 937.228.2582 thehawkbar.com 43206 clubmasque.com FB: The Hawk 614.224.4050 FB: Masque clubdiversity.biz Leather Stallion FB: Club Diversity 2205 St Clair Ave NE Cleveland, Ohio 44114 Main Event 835 Main St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.421.1294 FB: Main Event

Toledo Area Transgender Support Group: 419.551.0821 or 419.450.2430.

MJ’s on Jefferson 20 N Jefferson St Dayton, Ohio 45402 937.223.3259 mjsonjefferson.com FB: MJ’s on Jefferson Right Corner 105 E 3rd St Dayton, Ohio 45402 937.228.2033 FB: Right Corner

Sparky’s Lounge 822 Watertower Lane West Carrollton, Ohio 45449 937.859.1062 FB: Sparky’s Lounge Stage Door 44 N Jefferson St Dayton, Ohio 45402 937.223.7418 FB: The Stage Door Lima

Somewhere 804 W North St Lima, Ohio 45801 419.227.7288 somewherelima.com FB: Somewhere

Legends Showclub 117 N Erie St Toledo, Ohio 43604 567.315.8333 legendsbartoledo.com FB: Legends Showclub Toledo Mojo 115 N Erie St Toledo, Ohio 43604 567.315.8333 mojobartoledo.com FB: Mojo’s R-House 5534 Secor Rd Toledo, Ohio 43623 419.474.2929 FB: Rhouse Bar Warren

Funky Skunk NiteClub 143 E Market St Warren, Ohio 44481 FB: Funky Skunk NiteClub Youngstown

Utopia Video Night Club 876 E Midlothian Blvd Mansfield Youngstown, Ohio 44502 Sami’s 330.781.9000 178 Wayne St Mansfield, Ohio 44902 FB: Utopia Youngstown 419.522.1500 BATHS FB: Sami’s Bar Sandusky

Crowbar 206 W Market St Sandusky, Ohio 44870 419.624.0109 sanduskycrowbar.com FB: Sandusky Crowbar Springfield

Diesel Bar & Nightclub 1914 Edwards Ave Springfield, Ohio 45503 937.324.0383 FB: Diesel Bar & Nightclub Toledo

Bretz 2012 Adams St Toledo, Ohio 43604 419.243.1900 FB: Bretz Nightclub

Akron Steam and Sauna 41 S Case Ave Akron, Ohio 44305 330.252.2791 akronsteamandsauna.com

Club Columbus 795 W 5th Ave Columbus, Ohio 43212 614.291.0049 the-clubs.com Flex 2600 Hamilton Ave, Cleveland, Ohio 44114 216.812.3304 flexspas.com GET LISTED! We want to make sure all Ohio LGBT bars and clubs are included in our roundup. To update or add your free listing, contact Erin at 614.268.8525 or erin@outlookmedia.com. february 2015

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savage love

by Dan Savage

I’m a straight 18-year-old girl in my first sexual relationship.

on earth whose sexual fantasies revolve around or are completely dominated by something impossible or unrealizable.

Things are a little awkward, and I could The lady centaur fetishist is not and chalk it up to inexperience, but here’s never will be a lady centaur, the guy into what I feel conflicted about: I have a vore fetish. It was a fascination for me as a young child and became a sexual thing around the time I hit puberty.

and years of solo masturbation can carve a deep groove in a person’s erotic imagination. Since vore was where you always went when you were aroused prior to your boyfriend coming along, your

I’m wondering now whether this is something I need to get off. It works well when I’m on my own, but I always thought “regular stuff” would work, too, once I was actually getting some.

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I’ve told my boyfriend about it, and he’s more than willing to role-play with me.

But these fantasies are in-my-headonly, as they rarely feature human beings (think anthropomorphic Two Followers of Cadmus devoured by a Dragon, 1588, monsters and dragons, strange as this Cornelis van Haarlem, The National Gallery may seem), so I don’t know if I could actually do this. giant women has not met and will not brain may have automatically gone there ever meet a 50-foot-tall woman on the when you got aroused with your Maybe we just need to hold out a little subway, you are not and never will be a boyfriend. until we know what we’re doing and monster capable of swallowing another regular stuff will cut it after all? I have monster whole.

Don’t mistake what might have been a mounting suspicion that it won’t, and force of habit for complete dependence, I’m having trouble coming to terms with While most people with unrealizable or what you seem to fear most - complete what seems to be a really warped, fetishes or fantasies enjoy “regular stuff” dependence on your vore fantasies messed-up fetish. all by itself, a great many do not. The could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. latter type - kinksters who can’t get off to What if this is the only thing I can get regular stuff - allow their As for your shame about your kink (“a off to? Am I doomed to solo sex impossible/unrealizable fantasies to play really warped, messed-up fetish”), you’ve forever? out in their heads while they enjoy the got to shake that off. Take it from Tynan intimacy and physical sensations of non- Fox, a kinkster and public speaker: “We - Vore Only Really Excites vore/centaur/giantess stuff. don’t choose our kinks - our kinks choose us.” You didn’t choose your kink, VORE, A quick dip into Wikipedia for readers Most aren’t “checked out” during sex: your kink chose you. So give yourself a who aren’t familiar with the term vore: They’re enjoying regular stuff and break, OK? “Vorarephilia (often shortened to vore) is irregular stuff simultaneously - they’re a paraphilia wherein an individual’s fully present, getting into and getting off Stick with sex- and kink-positive partners sexual arousal occurs in response to a on their partners, all while their (like your current boyfriend), incorporate fantasy of themselves, another person, or impossible/unrealizable fantasies play on your kinks carefully and consensually, an object eating or being eaten. ... The a loop in their heads, sometimes in the and don’t neglect your partner’s interests fantasy sometimes involves the victim background, sometimes in the and possible kinks. You also might want being swallowed whole, though on some foreground. to explore the furry/scalie community, a occasions the victims are chewed up, space where you can be (or meet) the and may or may not include digestion.” So while you may be “doomed” to go anthropomorphic monster and/or dragon through life with this fetish, VORE, you of your dreams.

Makes you wonder how many of the are not doomed to solo sex. You can have You can email Dan Savage at people who were furious with the your fantasies and partnered sex too. mail@savagelove.net, follow Discovery Channel after that guy wasn’t him on Twitter at @fakedansav“eaten alive” by a snake were secretly But I don’t think you’ve been at this sex age or listen to his weekly podcast, Savage Lovecast, every vore fetishists. stuff long enough to conclude that you’re incapable of enjoying regular stuff on its Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Savage Love appears every month in Outlook Anyway, VORE, you’re not the only person own. Everyone has her go-to fantasies, and every week at outlookohio.com.

Dare 2 Care (Cleveland): dare2careusa.org, 216.374.6007.

outlookohio.com

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the divine life

by Debé

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) The full moon in Leo on the 3rd makes everyone a little more social, and this is your month to be the center of attention. Don’t party too hearty in the first half of the month, or you’ll be too tired to enjoy all the fun later. Pace yourself, baby.

Trailblazing Aquarians: Greg Louganis, Ellen Degeneres, Audre Lorde, Elaine Noble Pisces (February 19 - March 20) You are especially creative this month, and your intuitive sense is working overtime. This is a good time to make a move on someone, or on your goals, or both. The world is your oyster.

Carpe Diem!

Aries (March 21 - April 19) Glam up, darling, it’s time to make an impression. Influential people are watching, so shake that moneymaker. Your new friends want to help you get ahead (or get you in bed). Are diamonds a girl’s best friend? You decide.

leaves time to touch bases on the love front.

Which base you get to depends entirely on you and your partner.

Libra (September 23 - October 22) I know Valentine’s Day is coming, but it seems to be more about the money than the honey this month. Whatever you’re cuddling up to, play it cool and you should come out on top (or bottom if you prefer).

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) Your psychic side is strong this month. Use that intuition and you could finally move things along. This is also a good time to catch the eye of that certain someone you’ve been after. Strike while you’re hot!

Taurus (April 20 - May 20) A little compromising with your boss or lover will get you a lot further than locking horns, bull. Be Sagittarius a lover not a fighter this month. After all, a com- (November 22 - December 21) promising position can be fun if you do it right. Hopefully you had some fun last month and impressed the right people. Now it’s time to work on goals. It won’t be easy, but it will definitely be Gemini (May 21 - June 20) You might have to hold your tongue until after worth it. Don’t worry: You’ll still have some play the 10th, but then you are free to put it to good time. use. Whether you’re moving it in bed or moving your career forward, they don’t call you a silver- Capricorn tongued devil for nothing.

(December 22 - January 19) Love might be in the air for you this month. He or she might be playing hard to get, but once Cancer (June 21 - July 22) I know you’re sensitive, and you can get crabby you set your sights on what you want, you’re unwhen forced to deal with people. But if you leave stoppable. Just remember to take a break if you your ego at the door, you’ll find opportunity has get winded. been knocking. Answer the damn door already!

Handy Tip: Ring of Solomon Characterized by one or Leo (July 23 - August 22) You were all about the den last month, but the more lines curving full moon on the 3rd is in your sign, so it’s time across the base of to toss your mane and flick that tail. You’re feel- the index (Jupiter) ing catty in all the right ways, so bring on the finger, the bearer of purr party. these markings has knowledge to share.

They are meant to be Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You are in the zone professionally. In fact, you wise men or women. are way ahead of the game by mid-month. That outlookohio.com

Youth First-Springfield: FB: Youth First Springfield.

february 2015

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outlook’s blog squad Every month in print and every Monday online, we ask Outlook readers to do our work for us as members of our blog squad.

If you want to share your rants, raves or observations, join the Squad!

Contact Erin McCalla:

614.268.8525 x2

Emma Yorke

Top 5 Queer-Inclusive Video Games 5. Mass Effect 3 (Queer stories in space.)

4. Mass Effect 2 (More queer stories in space.)

3. Divinity: Original Sin (Your characters can romance each other, regardless of who they are.)

2. Dragon Age: Inquisition (Amazing queer lives and stories, and one of the first transgender characters in a major game title.)

1. Skyrim (Be and have anyone you want! Literally!

Goodbye heteronormativity.)

Feb 2 Topic: Shame On You

Basil Argento

Top 5 Ways to Make Trans People Feel Comfortable

5. Smile. That’s good advice in general.

4. Don’t call attention to our trans status. If we want to talk about it, we will bring up the subject.

3. Listen to our concerns. Don’t be defensive if we correct you.

2. Use the name and pronouns we tell you to. Always.

1. Treat us like normal human beings. We are.

Feb 9 Topic: How To Be a Good Trans Ally

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Ecce Homophobe Across

52 Word in Brazilian place names 1 Rainbow maker 54 Chewy candy 6 Drag queen Justin 56 Anti-family homo10 Lickety-split phobe with 19 kids 14 Kilmer simile phrase 60 Artist Catherine 15 Locker room emana61 Perry Mason star Raytion mond 16 Gore Vidal work, with At 62 Perineum, in slang 17 Had in mind 66 Asshole 18 Where to find a top on 67 Non-speaking part in the level Born Free 19 Protected, to seamen 68 Come after 20 Homophobe Kansas 69 Lammy award winner governor Donnelly 23 Award for Ursula LeGuin 70 Votes of approval 26 He made boxers more 71 Bear visible 27 When repeated, a dance 28 Room for Marga 1 Homophobe attorney Gomez general of Florida 29 Waterproof cover 2 USPS beat 32 Say hi to 3 “Got a Rainbow” lyricist 34 Asian inland sea Gershwin 35 Thurman of Even Cow4 Characteristic of Mapgirls Get the Blues plethorpe’s photos 36 Mandy Patinkin’s Evita 5 Rock music subgenre role 6 Flop on Broadway 37 Duck Dynasty homo7 River of Ulrichs’ country phobe 8 “You’re out of luck” 42 ___ kwon do 9 Talk like a Tennessee 43 Type of toy Williams character 44 Coal porter’s vehicle?

10 Moby Dick chaser 46 Has more than a one- 11 Comfort in sorrow night stand 12 Don of “Cocoon” 49 Revealing fashion 13 Watch like a voyeur 50 Verdi slave girl 21 Like R-rated-film audi51 Billy Budd, for one ences

Down

Trans Pride (Akron): canapi.org/groups.aspx, 330.240.1600.

22 Shakespearean’s Twelfth ___ 23 Top-secret org.

24 He shot off at O.K. Corral 25 Not so exciting 30 First in a Latin threesome 31 Steven Greenberg, for one 33 Milieu of Stephan Pyles 36 “For ___ out loud!”

38 Wonder Woman weapon 39 Forever and a day 40 First ed.

41 Lorca’s zip 45 Where wrestlers lie together 46 Next step for Elton after knighthood?

47 City where you can “Taiwan” on?

48 Risk adversaries 49 Vehicle for a moonshot 53 The Sound of Music setting 55 One of the “Maneater” singers 57 Ed Wood role 58 Bear that roams the night 59 End of a favorite holiday 63 Stein words that pop up between roses?

64 Sister Act extra 65 Homophobe senator Cruz outlookohio.com

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xxx

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