2015-05-01 Outlook Ohio Magazine

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We ♥ Ohio People

Jenn Moffitt and Jerra Knicely Dr. Henry Ng • Rashida Davidson JAC Stringer • Nickie Antonio • Andrew Levitt • Mack Schneider

may 2015

vol 19 • issue 12

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vol 19 • #12

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community? Work in a corporation that’s looking to show you are here its support while gaining one of the most brand-loyal and snapshot lucrative customer bases there is? Want to wish someqmunity one a happy birthday in a fun way? Advertise with us! Don’t news: summer advice have a business but want to The common thread with all support the community magpolisigh: the case for equality of our profiles seems to be azine? Buy some ads for your that their work came out of favorite charity and you get a finance: saying goodbye necessity. Sometimes accithree-for: 1. Your charity gets dentally, sometimes purposeadvertising they often don’t small pond: next level skate fully, these people saw a need have the budget to buy. 2. shop/mack schneider and filled it. Whether enterYou help your community ohio people: jenn moffit & taining us, or taking care of magazine. 3. You get the tax jerra knicely our sick or just trying to find a write off. What’s better than ohio people: dr. henry ng photographer for their wed- that? ding, their actions have reohio people: sulted in better communities We can work with any budget rashida davison for all of us, and they deserve to create an effective marketfeature: our gratitude. ing plan for you. Feel free to supportive businesess call us (614.268.8525), email ohio people: the rubi girls This is our way to say thank us (sales@outlookmedia you. .com) or check out our online ohio people: JAC stringer media kit (outlookohio.com/ If you know anyone who fits advertise) for more info. We ohio people: nickie antonio the bill and should be recog- are running a special on nized, please let us know. business card ads, which run trans* trends We’d love to give them the only $99 a month when you recognition they deserve. We sign up for a year. That’s a insight out could have easily highlighted savings of $600 off our best three times the unsung herates. We also have nonprofit, creative class: roes this year, but unfortuLGBT business, restaurant/ evolution theatre co. nately, there are only so many bar, political and first-time creative class: buyer & cellar pages we can print. Luckily, buyer rates. Like I said, we we have unlimited bandwidth can work with you. deep inside hollywood at outlookohio.com, so check back for more stories of other While we’re on the subjects of trippin’ out: key west do-gooder Ohioans soon. people we love and advertisbook mark: jonathan ing in Outlook, I’d like to harper/daydreamers Speaking of pages, it’s time introduce you to two new to get your Pride month admembers of the Outlook interview: mo’nique vertising in. This June kicks team. Paula Ross and Tyler off our 20th year of producing Cruz are our new account exout & about Ohio’s free LGBT magazine, ecutives. (Don’t worry, Chad savage love and we look forward to 20 is still here! He just needed more years bigger and better reinforcements!) divine life than the last. That, of course, only happens with support Knowing these go-getters, blogoqueer, toons & puzzling from equality-minded busi- Paula and Tyler will be hitting nesses through advertising you up soon. Be sure to take and sponsorships. the call. Tyler is our gay, engaged, 22-year-old US miliHave a small business you tary veteran servicing the want to get in front of the Northern Ohio markets of

next month:

Pride 2015!

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We ♥ Ohio People you are here

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One of my favorite editions we produce is the We Ohio People issue. It’s Outlook’s time to highlight the awesome people who often don’t get recognized for the work they do that makes our LGBT community a better place.

Cleveland, Toledo, Akron, Canton and Youngstown, and Paula is our straight, motherof-two/grandmother-of-four wild woman who is handling the Columbus, Dayton and Cincinnati markets with Chad. They are this month’s bloggers, so you can learn more about them on Page 54 and then later online. Be sure to say hi if you see them out and about.

And last but not least, I want to say a huge thank you to all the vendors who made up our sold-out Love Big LGBT Wedding Expo in Dayton last month. What a wonderful time we are in when we have businesses begging to get in an event to show their support for our community.

We might not have everyone on board yet, but be assured there is a growing majority.

Please be sure to support these vendors, as they do you.

You can find the Dayton, as well as other Ohio equalityminded vendors, in our Love Big Online Directory at www.lovebigweddingexpo .com. We look forward to our second 2015 expo in Columbus on Sunday, June 7, at Hollywood Casino presented

by Worthington Jewelers. Limited booth space is still available, so make sure to reserve yours. It’s the day after the HRC Gala, so you can come mimosa your hangover away while planning your future.

How LGBT is that?

PUBLISHER Christopher Hayes

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHERS Bob Vitale / Chad Frye

HEADQUARTERS Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, Ste G, Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525 phone / 614.261.8200 fax SALES Chad Frye / cfrye@outlookmedia.com Paula Ross / paula@outlookmedia.com Tyler Cruz / tyler@outlookmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media - 212.242.6863 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Bob Vitale / bvitale@outlookmedia.com MANAGING EDITOR Erin McCalla / erin@outlookmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chris Azzopardi, Alisa Caton, Bryan Cole, Luke Darby, Debé, Chris Hayes, Evan Jeshka, Aaron Leventhal, Erin McCalla, Jacob Nash, Romeo San Vicente, Dan Savage, Regina Sewell, Gregg Shapiro, Olga Starr, Bob Vitale ART DIRECTOR Christopher Hayes / art@outlookmedia.com

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Chris Hayes, David N Martin, Emma Parker, Briana Snyder (cover), Bob Vitale CYBERSPACE outlookohio.com outlookmedia.com networkcolumbus.com twitter / fb: outlookcolumbus Outlook is published and distributed by Outlook Media Inc., on the first day of each month throughout Ohio.

Outlook is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than 5 copies of any issue of Outlook with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted.

The views expressed in Outlook are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media Inc., or its staff, ownership or management.

Outlook Media Inc., does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media Inc., assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2014 by Outlook Media Inc., All rights reserved.

puzzling solution - puzzle on pg 54

As always, thanks to you, our readers, for your continued support. We you!

See you all at the expo!

Christopher Hayes, Publisher

That’s the Rubi Girls on this month’s cover, photographed by Briana Snyder.

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Team CLE Cavs Outing 4/5/2015 @ The Q, Cleveland

Rally for Local Anti-Discrimination Law 3/31/2015 @ Bexley City Hall

Diverse City Youth Choir 4/11/2015 @ GLSEN, Cincinnati

BGSU Queer Art Show 4/13/2015 @ Bowling Green

Judy Sheppard 4/9/2015 @ Kent State University

Network Columbus 4/8/2015 @ Cray, Columbus

Rainbow Review 4/3/2015 @ Wright State, Dayton

Columbus Police Chief Jacobs 4/8/2015 @ Network Columbus

AIDS Walk Central Ohio 4/18/2015 @ Arch Park, Columbus

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Send your event pics to art@outlookmedia.com.

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Presidency 2016: The Race So Far

Four candidates entered the 2016 presidential race in April. Here’s where Democrat Hillary Clinton and Republicans Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Marco Rubio stand on LGBT issues:

The Month in Marriage Alabama: At least 545 same-sex couples married in the state from Feb 9 to March 3, the period between a federal judge’s ruling for marriage equality and the state Supreme Court’s halt.

marriage equality in the socially conservative country that didn’t legalize divorce until 2004.

Japan: Shibuya, a ward inside Tokyo, is the first locale in Japan to approve Guam: After a lesbian couple was de- same-sex marriage. Weddings are expected to begin in July. nied a marriage license on April 13, Attorney General Elizabeth BarrettAnderson ordered officials in the US He’s Looking at You, territory to accept applications from DeWine and Kasich... same-sex couples.

“I don’t like it that we have to rely on the Supreme Court to get my state to change its laws.

We have politicians that look backward rather than forward.

That’s too bad. We have politicians that are willing to deny human beings basic rights, Chile: President Michelle Bachelet basic civil rights, basic rights of signed a bill into law on April 13 that aldecency and fairness.” lows same-sex couples to enter into civil unions. It was hailed as a step toward - US Sen. Sherrod Brown, D-Ohio Illinois: Jared Milrad and Nathan Johnson of Chicago, a gay couple featured in a video announcing Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign for president, tweeted a wedding invitation to the Democratic candidate.

Hillary Clinton • Believes that marriage is a constitutional right for LGBT Americans.

• Declared as secretary of state in 2011: “Gay rights are human rights and human rights are gay rights.”

• Opposes Indiana’s “religious freedom” law.

Rand Paul • Opposes marriage equality: “There’s also a moral crisis that allows people to think that there would be some sort of other marriage.”

• Says the idea of same-sex marriage “offends” him.

• Opposes ENDA and supports Indiana’s “religious freedom” law.

Give Out Day 2015

Florida Gays Can Adopt, For Now

Florida lawmakers approved House Bill 7013, which would overturn the state's nearly 40year ban on adoption by same-sex couples.

There was bipartisan support for the bill.

Ted Cruz • Wants to take jurisdiction over marriage equality away from the federal courts.

• Would deny federal recognition to married couples who live in states like Ohio, where marriage still isn’t legal.

• Opposes ENDA and supports Indiana’s “religious freedom” law.

Marco Rubio • Seeks court repeal of congressionally approved Obamacare, but believes courts don’t have the right to repeal marriage bans.

• Has been called a “real marriage champion” by the anti-gay National Organization for Marriage.

• Opposes ENDA and supports Indiana’s “religious freedom” law.

The third national Give Out Day is scheduled for Thursday, May 21. The effort is designed to shine the spotlight on needs in LGBT communities around the country through one designated national day of giving.

More than a dozen Ohio nonprofits - LGBT centers in Columbus and Cleveland, Equality Ohio, AIDS Resource Center Ohio, BRAVO, GLSEN and PFLAG chapters, and others - took part last year. Nationally, people donated more than $1 million to more than 500 groups on Give Out Day.

The measure, which contains an amendment introduced by openly gay state Rep. David Richardson of Miami, had veto-proof support.

The measure now awaits review by Republican Gov. Rick Scott.

“Follow the law that says we don't discriminate, and follow the law that gives these children a fair chance,” said Republican state Sen. Don Gaetz, who sponsored the bill.

But another measure designed to allow taxsupported adoption agencies to refuse to work with gay or lesbian parents was written just days after the vote to remove Florida’s unconstitutional and unenforced ban on gay or lesbian adoptions.

Under questioning, supporters of the bill have had to acknowledge that HB 7111 would allow Visit giveoutday.org to find this year’s Ohio agencies to discriminate against many groups participants. of people.

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The Republicans should have a Give Up Day already.

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Around the State Akron: In addition to its annual Miss Cocktails Pageant, which was held in April, Cocktails Akron says it will host two more pageants soon: Mr. Cocktails and Ms. Cocktails New Comer. Dates have yet to be announced.

Case Western Reserve University: Two meetings in April laid the groundwork for a new group for students in what organizers call the “middle identities” of the queer spectrum: bisexual, pansexual, gender-fluid and others. It will continue in the fall. Email amariyah@case.edu for information.

Cincinnati: Betty Who and country singer Steve Grand are the headline entertainers for this year’s Pride festival on Saturday, June 27. Erika Ervin, a transgender model, fitness trainer and actor who’s also known as Amazon Eve, will be the grand marshal for the Pride parade.

Cleveland: The Mean Bull is now officially Aura Ultra Lounge. The club has been transitioning since last year’s Gay Games.

Columbus: It isn’t the Democrats, but Columbus will host a 2016 convention, after all. Stompers, the local LGBT country and western dance group, says it will host the 2016 gathering of the International Association of Gay/Lesbian Country Western Dance Clubs. No date has been set yet.

Dayton: Where did Natalie Clifford Barney go? outlookohio.com

The Cooper Park historical marker honoring the Dayton-born writer has been placed in storage during renovations to the nearby Downtown library, according to the Greater Dayton LGBT Center. Barney was a prolific writer in the early 20th century who lived openly and proudly as a lesbian far ahead of her time.

Maple Heights: Richard Trojanski, a member of the City Council since 2009, announced his candidacy for council president in April. He’s the first openly gay candidate in Ohio to run for a council presidency.

Springfield: A first-ever Springfield Pride festival is in the works. According to Equality Springfield, it’s planned for Saturday, June 13.

Toledo: Toledo Pride will have a block of tickets to sell for the first Detroit Tigers’ LGBT Pride Night game on Wednesday, June 3. Visit the Toledo Pride Facebook page for details.

University of Toledo: Spectrum UT, the university’s LGBT student organization, is considering a name change. An online survey asks members’ opinions about “Queer UT,” including whether they think the word queer is offensive.

President Obama Backs Ban on Conversion Therapy, Aide Says Leelah Alcorn’s last wish - “Fix Society” now has a high-profile supporter.

A top White House adviser said in April that President Obama backs efforts to ban so-called conversion therapy, a discredited, often-harmful practice that attempts to change a person’s gender identity or sexual orientation.

Senior adviser Valerie Jarrett announced the president’s support as a reply to more than 120,000 people who signed an online petition at whitehouse.gov in support of “Leelah’s Law,” a proposal for federal legislation that would ban conversion therapy. She said Obama shares signers’ concerns “about its potentially devastating effects on the lives of transgender as well as gay, lesbian, bisexual and queer youth.”

“As part of our dedication to protecting America’s youth, this administration supports efforts to ban the use of conversion therapy for minors,” Jarrett wrote. “The overwhelming scientific evidence

demonstrates that conversion therapy, especially when it is practiced on young people, is neither medically nor ethically appropriate and can cause substantial harm.”

Leelah Alcorn was a 17-year-old transgender girl from suburban Cincinnati who committed suicide in December and posted an online message about her struggles with fundamentalist Christian parents who forced her into conversion therapy.

California, New Jersey and the District of Columbia have banned conversion therapy, and legislation has been introduced in a number of states.

State Sens. Charleta Tavares of Columbus and Edna Brown of Toledo have introduced Senate Bill 74, which would ban practices in Ohio that are designed to “change a person’s sexual orientation, including efforts to change behaviors, gender identity, or gender expressions, or to reduce or eliminate sexual or romantic attractions or feelings toward a person of the same gender.”

Wright State University: The Rainbow Alliance, Wright State’s LGBTQA student group, won the university’s 2015 Diversity Award in April.

If you ever attempted conversion therapy, email Bob Vitale at bvitale@outlookmedia.com.

Save the Date

HRC Columbus Gala hrc.org/columbus June 6, Columbus Dayton Pride daytonlgbtcenter.org June 6, Dayton Youngstown Pride prideyoungstown.org June 12-13, Youngstown Columbus Pride columbuspride.org June 19-20, Columbus Bat-N-Rouge FB: Bat-n-Rouge June 21, Columbus Gay Day @ Cedar Point FB: Gay Day at Cedar Point June 21, Sandusky Cincinnati Pride cincinnatipride.org June 27, Cincinnati Cleveland Pride clevelandpride.org June 27, Cleveland Camp Sunrise sunrisekids.org Aug 9-15, Clarksville 2015 Gay Softball World Series

gsws2015.org Aug 17-22, Columbus Cleveland HRC Gala FB: Human Rights Campaign Cleveland Aug 22, Cleveland Toledo Pride toledopride.com Aug 28-30, Toledo Pride Night @ Kings Island cincyglbt.com/pride-night Sept 11, Cincinnati Ohio Lesbian Fest ohiolba.org Sept 18-20, Pataskala may 2015

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Indiana’s Cautionary Tale

Give Them a Toaster your decision and I’m freaking crying that you chose to tell me first. You’re my best friend and I am so pumped that you got the first step off your back.

“As big of a deal as I’m sure it seems, it’s really not. You are a badass and you are a tough-ass wrestler, but literally no one would ever care about your sexuality.”

Ohio and other states better learn from Indiana’s mistakes, the Human Rights Campaign says.

Following our neighbor’s bad experiment with a “religious freedom” law last month that would allow antiLGBT discrimination as long as it was cloaked in religious belief, HRC commissioned a poll about its impact and sent the results to Ohio and 11 other states as a cautionary tale: • Three-quarters of Indiana voters said the debacle was bad for their state’s economy, and 70 percent said businesses should not discriminate.

• The number of Hoosiers who say Indiana is on the right track vs. the wrong has flipped since January.

Then, 57 percent were optimistic about the state and 31 percent were pessimistic. Now, 47 percent think Indiana is on the wrong track, and just 31 think it’s headed in the right direction.

• Gov. Mike Pence, who signed the bill into law, defended it, then backtracked and softened its language, has taken a political hit as well. A total of 55 percent of voters now disapprove of the job he’s doing as governor, and just 43 percent support him.

• Pence is now tied with his most likely Democratic challenger in a 10

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re-election race next year, and one of the anti-gay law’s most outspoken critics, Angie’s List CEO Bill Oesterle, might challenge him for the GOP nomination.

“The lesson from Indiana is clear,” HRC spokesman Fred Sainz said.

“Voters are rejecting lawmakers who are willing to put their state economy at risk in an attempt to further discrimination.”

HRC also sent its poll results to officials in Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Michigan, Missouri, North Carolina, North Dakota, South Carolina and Texas.

Republican and Democratic lawmakers in Ohio introduced a “religious freedom” bill in 2013, but they withdrew the measure in February 2014 after Outlook reported that entire sections of the bill were nearly identical to an Arizona proposal that was causing a national uproar at the time. The Arizona bill was vetoed by then-Gov. Jan Brewer.

Mike Pucillo, a three-time All-American wrestler and 2008 NCAA champion for Ohio State, came out publicly in a March 27 story on the wrestling website, TheOpenMat.com.

“I wish I was able to be myself seven years ago while still competing in college, but it isn’t until now that I am comfortable with myself to tell my story,” he told the website. “I want people to know that you aren’t alone. If I can just help one person get through, then I will be happy.”

Pucillo came out first to best friend and former OSU teammate Reece Humphrey, via a text in December 2013.

Barry Manilow has never discussed his sexual orientation publicly, so reports in People and Us Weekly that he married his longtime manager Garry Kief last year seem to be as close to a public coming out as we’re going to get.

Humphrey’s reaction is what every person coming out would love to hear:

“They have a great relationship,” someone identified as a “Manilow source” told People. “Garry has always been there for Barry.”

“Holy shit, buddy! I’m honestly so happy for you!

I had no clue, but all I can say is I love you so much! I won’t tell anyone ever. It’ll always be

The source told the magazine that Manilow has never tried to hide being gay.

We Are Pleased to Announce... vice president of customer relations at GROWLr in Columbus, Ohio.

Frank surprised Coley with a Valentine’s Day proposal while vacationing in Palm Springs, California. After being partners in both business and life for nearly six years, he finally put a ring on it!

As the Indiana controversy raged last month, Ohio Gov. John Kasich said he sees no need for a “religious freedom” law in Ohio.

Kasich also opposes legislation to add gender identity and sexual orientation to the state’s antidiscrimination laws, though.

A summer wedding is planned.

Coley Cummiskey, CEO and founder of GROWLr, is to be married to Frank Rollings,

Share your happy news in Outlook!

Send your wedding or engagement announcement of up to 100 words, along with a photo, to Erin McCalla at erin@outlookmedia.com.

Congrrrrrrratulations Coley and Frank! Will your wedding reception be a Bear-B-Q?

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When Summer’s No Picnic

Colleges Prepare Students for Not-Always-Hospitable Hometowns

by Bryan Cole

Over the past decade, colleges and universities have made huge strides toward eradicating LGBT prejudice. But we can’t stay on campus forever.

Our families, our bosses, our churches and our hometowns aren’t always moving at the same pace toward acceptance.

So as Ohio college students head out for the summer, LGBT centers and advisers who’ve worked for the last nine months to provide safe spaces on campus now are preparing students for the sometimesprejudiced outside world.

Imagine the gulf: The academic world is establishing SafeZones and gender-neutral bathrooms, while folks back home are debating whether businesses actually should have the right to refuse to sell pizza to an LGBT customer. The dissonance is enough to give students whiplash.

BGSU’s “What Next!” session sought to meet students where they are, whether that means encouraging honest conversations or staying under the radar during the summer months.

Ultimately, he said, the intention is to make the transition easier on students, not to breed the next generation of activists.

“I’ve had trans students say, ‘This is where I’m out,’” said Josh Scacco, a graduate assistant for LGBT affairs at Wright It’s a message Scacco shares State University. “They say, ‘If I with students at Wright State. go across the street - or home “There’s a strong narrative to come out, come out, wherever you are,” he said. But students need to remember that their college “The idea is education is a priorgetting stuity. It might be betdents to think ter to keep quiet at about what life home if fighting will be like after they leave the - I’m not out.’” with parents could get one college campus,” said Tobias kicked out of the house or cut Spears, senior coordinator for Sometimes, graduates leave a off from tuition.

LGBT programs and services at pro-LGBT culture at college Bowling Green State University, ready to bring their ideals back “You need to be able to eat, which hosted a program in to their hometowns, planting and you need shelter,” Scacco April called “What Next?” the seeds of acceptance across said.

Ohio.

The session created by BGSU’s With that in mind, Spears adLGBT Resource Center was de- But that’s not for everyone. vises college students to build signed to provide students coping strategies. Keep in with methods for navigating Not all students want - or touch with other students by home and work spaces during should be expected - to acestablishing a network of the summer months or after tively try to change hearts and “summer assistance pals.” At graduation. minds in their hometowns, Bowling Green, LGBT students Spears said. will get a designated buddy to Thinking ahead is critical, stay in touch with over the campus advisers say, not just “Some students are made for summer months. The pairs will to score prized internships and that and others aren’t.” swap numbers and check in on plan careers, but also to preeach other to share experipare psychologically for differ- Besides, it shouldn’t necessar- ences and provide advice. ent, perhaps ily be each student’s burden to less-accommodating environ- bring their community into the This way, students can stay ments.

21st century, he added. connected and feel a sense of solidarity.

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Family Matters 101 A summer at home is an adjustment for parents, too. The following tips from PFLAG, “Adjusting to Your Child’s Homecoming,” come from The Gay and Lesbian Guide to College Life, published by the Princeton Review:

tity with family and

Like most parents, par-

will always be what you

ents of LGBTQ college

students enjoy visiting

friends. If you are

comfortable talking

about it, your family

and friends will probably be more comfortable, too.

• Anticipate potential problems, but do not

assume that reactions expected.

with their children over

• Consult with your

breaks. However, some

coordinating sleeping

weekends and school

find that unusual situa-

tions crop up when their LGBTQ child is back at

home. Some parents may

LGBTQ loved one when arrangements if he or

she is bringing home a partner.

find it hard during such

• If your family mem-

child’s sexual orienta-

tice using the correct

visits to reconcile their tion and/or gender

identity/expression with

ber is transgender, pracpronouns.

hometown values or re-

During the visit:

others welcome their

• Treat an LGBTQ

into their home, espe-

treat anyone else in

ligious attitudes. Still

child’s LGBTQ friends

cially if these students

have nowhere else to go.

Following are some tips to help parents and

family members make sure that their LGBTQ

person like you would your family.

• Take interest in your

family member’s life. He or she is still the same person.

student’s homecoming is

• Ask your LGBTQ fam-

the hearth:

her partner if you know

a welcome trip back to Before the visit:

• Practice in advance if

you are going to be discussing your family

member’s sexual orien-

ily member about his or there is one.

• Don’t ask your LGBTQ family member to act a certain way. let him or her act naturally.

tation or gender iden-

Outook is looking for summer interns! Email resumes to erin@outlookmedia.com.

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Stating Our Case

Political, Religious, Business Groups Urge Court to Rule for Equality There’s a reason they’re US Supreme Court justices and not magazine publishers. Those people know nothing about a deadline.

The scheduled April 28 hearings on marriage cases from Ohio, Michigan, Kentucky and Tennessee were a bit too late in the month for Outlook’s printing schedule. We apologize and invite you to read our online coverage at outlookohio.com.

Here, though, are excerpts from briefs filed with the court by marriage equality supporters. Their arguments are compelling, and their words are inspiring.

The two Ohio widowers and 12 gay and lesbian parents who seek state recognition of their marriages: “Ohio and the [6th Circuit US Court of Appeals] contend that legal recognition of the marriages of same-sex couples must await the day when the political majority of each state is ready to bestow equal rights on these families. They assert that the federal courts should stand aside while same-sex spouses and their children suffer daily hardships and indignities imposed by the unconstitutional refusal of states like Ohio to recognize these couples’ marriages. Wait, they say, until the majority decides the time is right. The petitioners, their children and many like them have waited too long already.”

US Justice Department: “The United States has a strong interest in the eradication of discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.”

The People’s Brief, commissioned by the Human Rights Campaign and signed by more than 200,000 Americans: “But actions speak louder than words. Ohio insists that there must be a blank space on Mr. Arthur’s death certificate where Mr. Obergefell’s name should be. Not content to deny these men the equal protection of the law in life, it also seeks to deny them dignity even in death. Ohio’s decision to reject this reasonable request to correct a factually inaccurate death certificate speaks volumes about what is really going on, leaving no doubt that the true motivation behind these laws is constitutionally impermissible animus against gay people.”

Episcopal, United Church of Christ, Unitarian Universalist, Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association, United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, Muslims for Progressive Values, other groups and 1,900 faith leaders: “[The] tradition of respect for religious autonomy has, indeed, permitted various religions to define religious marriage in ways that would be unenforceable under civil law outlookohio.com

- declining to sanctify or even recognize, for example, marriages between persons of different faiths and races or successive marriage following divorce. ... Were all states to recognize and permit the civil marriage of same-sex couples - as they do for interfaith couples, inter-racial couples, and couples re-marrying after divorce - religions that disapprove of such unions would remain free to define religious marriage however they wish.”

379 Employers, including Cardinal Health of Columbus and Procter & Gamble of Cincinnati: “These state mandates [that prohibit same-sex marriage] upset our business philosophy and prevent employers ... from reaching their full economic potential by discouraging highly qualified employees from living and working in all of the jurisdictions where we do, or want to do, business. Job candidates married to same-sex spouses may be understandably reluctant to pursue job opportunities in states where their pre-existing marriages will not be recognized. ... Single gays and lesbians may decide that the option of a future legally recognized marriage is enough to justify passing up employment opportunities in states with laws hostile to same-sex marriage. Heterosexual individuals, too, may decide that states hostile to marriage equality are not states where they want to live and work.”

156 elected and former government officials, including former Gov. Ted Strickland, former Attorney General Jim Petro, and US Reps. Joyce Beatty of Columbus and Tim Ryan of Niles: “As elected officials, former officeholders and political organizations, we recognize and cherish our nation’s tradition of popular sovereignty. We are deeply committed to democracy and, indeed, have often litigated in the state and federal courts to protect individuals’ right to participate in the political process. At the same time, our firsthand and daily experience with democracy gives us a clear understanding of its limitations - foremost, safeguarding the rights of disfavored minority groups against the transient preferences of the majority.”

Republican leaders and activists, including former Log Cabin Republicans President Bill Brownson of Columbus, former US Rep. Steven LaTourette of Ashtabula and former US Rep. Deborah Pryce of Columbus: “Much has been written about the deleterious impact of family breakdown in our nation today. There is a need for more Americans to choose to participate in the institution of marriage. Yet these bans, by denying each member of an entire class of American citizens the right to marry the person he or she loves, discourage those important family values.”

We ♥ Al Gerhardstein Al Gerhardstein, you just finished arguing before the US Supreme Court in favor of marriage equality. What are you going to do now?

He’s riding a bike to Ferguson and New Orleans.

Gerhardstein, the Cincinnati lawyer who represented eight samesex couples in federal lawsuits seeking Ohio’s recognition of their legal, out-of-state marriages, plans to leave May 3 on a 1,350mile bike trip to raise money for the Cincinnati-based Ohio Justice & Policy Center and the Covington, Ky-based Children’s Law Center.

“With the events of the past year, the country is waking up to the injustices in our criminal and juvenile legal systems,” Gerhardstein said of police shootings in Ferguson, Mo; Cleveland; Staten Island and other communities. “Ferguson is the birthplace of this renewed movement. We want to go to Ferguson to listen and connect.”

In addition to his work on LGBT civil rights, Gerhardstein has represented people hurt by police misconduct. He was part of a 2001 agreement in which Cincinnati agreed to stop racial profiling, reform its police policies on the use of force and establish a panel to review complaints against police.

He will make the trek on a tandem bike with his daughter, Jessica Gingold, a University of Michigan law student. The New Orleans leg of their trip is to get Gingold to her summer job with the Louisiana Center for Children’s Rights.

If you’d like to donate to Gerhardstein’s effort, visit pedalingjustice.com. All contributions will go to the two organizations, he said.

The Supreme Court is expected to issue its ruling in late June.

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finance

Saying Goodbye

LGBT Families Need to Plan for the Inevitable

by Olga Starr

“Did you not go to work today?” I asked when Jack’s hand found mine on top of Art’s boney shoulder.

It surprised me to see Jack’s car in the driveway at 11 in the morning in the middle of his working day. Is there a fire drill in his office?

Is there a lover in our bed? Hehe... Hmmm...

“Jack?” I called out, hauling bags of groceries into the house. “Jack, where are you? Is your back OK?”

“We took a bath this morning,” Jack said softly, stroking Art’s white cheek. Both Jack’s beard and Art’s face started turning gray at the same time about three years ago. “I scrubbed you up real good, right, buddy?”

“When did you make that... decision?”

The silence in the air was so eerie it almost made me run from room to room looking for him. My faithful husband was on the floor in the dog room, covered in hairballs, lying next to Art. “Jackie, not in your good pants,” I started, but stopped in my tracks, catching Jack’s somber look.

I had to admit it was a shocker. Art had always been Jack’s dog. And my husband didn’t want to hear it when I tried to bring up the fact that Art’s meds were no longer helping. Our boy couldn’t use his back legs anymore, and carrying the backside of a 60-pound hound in a sling was torture for everyone involved.

“Lenny, I called the vet today,” Jack whispered, and my eyes immediately filled with tears. “Our appointment is at 1.”

“I don’t know if I’ve made the decision yet,” he responded, and I could feel his hand tremble.

Next thing I knew, we were both on the dogroom floor holding on tight to our lanky boy, our rescued son, our sloppy water drinker and fierce squirrel-chaser, who used to love posing between us in all family pictures with his toothy smile and a tail excitedly wagging, hitting our butts.

My husband’s hands looked swollen, and his big bear shoulders were droopy, so for a second I felt the same sadness for him that I had been feeling for Arty when our boy started getting visibly old.

We hadn’t heard his tail thumping in a while though. I wondered if dogs developed arthritis in their tails too.

“I got it,” Jack said. With a pained expression he managed to bend over and gently scooped up the dog. I think his tears fell on Art’s forehead, because I saw our boy open his eyes,

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and for a moment he was wide awake, fidgeting with a worried expression on his face.

crashing my funeral?”

“Little Jerry?”

I touched the top of his head, and he gave me a long look. *** We were both bawling on our way back home.

For the first time in my life I saw my usually dashing husband wiping his nose with the sleeve of his shirt like a 6-year-old. At home we sat in front of the dinner table and had a couple of vodka shots. I said a Polish prayer that my grandmother taught me.

When we could breathe again, my husband took my hand and said, “Lenny, we’re going to see a planner on Monday.”

I didn’t say a word; I was all out of words and tears.

“If I die, I want you to be OK.” “Jackie, haven’t we talked enough about death today?” I shook my head, surprised by how numb it felt.

“I want to know that you’ll be taken care of. I don’t want you to have to fight to keep our money.”

“Want me to carry him?” I offered.

“Jack, it’s 2012, and we’re married. You can relax and not worry about me anymore.”

“Lenny,” my husband sighed. “If I die, who do you think will be the first person here

“Yes, that idiot son of mine. And do you not think that he will contest the heck out of my will?”

“So what?” Of course, I knew how Little Jerry felt about his dad marrying a man, especially with the age difference Jack and I had. On top of that, I was a Polish immigrant, and Jerry had the guts to show up at the wedding and threaten me with deportation, that little punk.

“He’ll rush here to claim this house you’ve built, and your car, and my stocks and retirement. He’ll see to it that you’re broke and living under a bridge.”

I downed another shot and shook my head. “I came into this relationship with nothing, and I don’t care what I get from it.”

“You had sacrificed your career to take care of me.”

“Yeah, my broke architectural firm.”

“Listen, Lenny,” Jack reached out and stroked my hair in a fatherly gesture. “I’ve chosen you to be my mate, and I don’t want for the state to make decisions on the validity of our relationship. We need a trust. I want to have an iron-clad estate plan.”

Bon Jovi’s “Never Say Goodbye” only reached No. 11 on the mainstream rock charts...

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I shrugged, nodded and warned him, “If something happens to you, I’ll die just to follow you out there and kick your butt! You are not allowed to leave me.”

Jack moved closer and held me for a while pressing my head hard into his chest. *** Epilogue by Olga We lost Jack two years later. That pain he was having in his back ended up being a rare form of cancer wrapped around his spinal cord.

The funeral was nice, even though none of Jack’s family showed up. Their attorneys did contact us, though. I was the planner who had helped Jack and his husband build their estate plan, and as a result of the work we had done, Lenny didn’t have to deal with Little Jerry’s attorney and is financially secure.

He’s now re-starting his architectural company. He also made sure a large donation was made in honor of Jack and Art to the humane society.

One thing Lenny never did was re-paint that dog room. His new rescue feels quite cozy there. *** Planning Commentary The reason I’m telling you this story is simple. Plan ahead, or someone else will plan for you. To all my friends who tell me with a sigh that they have never had time to do wills or estate plans: I get it.

It’s morbid to talk about death. It might never come. After all, we are all invincible and immortal. And it only happens to someone else.

Only it’s too late when it hits home. So for crying out loud, see your adviser and get it over with!

Here are a few things you want to discuss: • Protection planning. Oh, I know, everyone tries to sell you insurance. And somehow more than 40 percent of Americans are uninsured. Think your partner can survive on the base coverage you get through work? If they offer a couple times your salary, it’ll probably last him, her or them a couple of years.

A better way of estimating your insurance need is by using a life-value calculation.

outlookohio.com

Here’s a quick example: Suppose your annual salary is $80,000. How many years are you planning on working? For the sake of this example, let’s multiply the figure by 15 years, and you’ll get $1.2 million of unrealized income.

Do your loved ones need this entire amount?

Or less? Your trusted adviser will be able to give you an answer specific to your situation.

• Estate planning. If you die without a will, your assets will be handled according to the intestate law. In effect, the state will write your will for you. For couples with kids from prior marriages, under Ohio Revised Code Sec. 2105.06, the law reads as follows: “If there is a spouse and one child of the decedent or the child’s lineal descendants surviving and the surviving spouse is not the natural or adoptive parent of the decedent’s child, the first $20,000 plus one-half of the balance of the intestate estate to the spouse and the remainder to the child or the child’s lineal descendants.”

Even if you do have a will, it has to be probated. That’s a lengthy process that requires time and frequently attorney expenses. Overall probate administration expenses are usually estimated to be 3 percent to 4 percent of the estate amount.So if you have some real estate and retirement accounts totaling $1 million, your spouse might have to shell out up to $40,000 to get your estate settled.

Does it make sense to do some extra planning to keep your assets outside of probate courts? You decide.

We still hear horror stories about unsupportive families contesting gay couples’ wills.

Truth is, it happens very infrequently, but it does happen. This is why Jack had set up a trust for Lenny, completely removing his estate from the probate process.

There are other tactics that could help you with your estate planning, but I’ll let your financial planner or attorney discuss those with you.

Olga Starr is a registered representative of and offers securities, investment advisory and financial planning services through MML Investors Services, LLC. Member SIPC (sipc.org). MML Investors Services, LLC does not provide tax/legal services. OSJ: 2012 W 25th St, Suite 900, Cleveland, Ohio, 44113.

216.621.5680. CRN201612-189038. If you have questions, opinions or ideas for future articles, email Olga at ostarr@financialguide.com.

...but because it was not released as a commercially available single, it could not chart on the Billboard Hot 100.

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Off the Grid is off the hook!

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small pond

Columbus Shop Owner Boosts Sport That Boosted Them

by Evan Jeshka

A fast-paced, full-contact sport, women’s roller derby is quickly gaining popularity all over the world, and new teams are springing up across Ohio.

But until recently, players in Central Ohio had nowhere to buy equipment or get fitted for skates.

That changed last November when Mack Schneider opened Next Level Skate Shop in the Clintonville neighborhood of Columbus. The 24-year-old, who identifies as genderqueer and uses the pronoun they, says opening the store is a way of giving back to the sport that gave them so much.

“Roller derby was a huge catalyst for me actually wanting to get better, in terms of mental health and my eating disorder,” Schneider said. “I started to go through the process of recovery for myself, so that I could perform, skate well, and do the things I needed to do.”

country training other leagues.

also a skate shop owner and was able to provide insight. Teammates have helped “It’s such an amazing thing. There’s just with accounting, marketing and general nothing like that community, at all,” they business acumen. said. “We’re all doing this for ourselves, we’re all putting so much work into it. ... They even volunteer their time to mind There’s this unspoken mutual respect for the shop when Schneider can’t be there. the people that you’re playing against, in a way that in a lot of other sports just Next Level Skate Shop has equipment for doesn’t exist.” jam, artistic and recreational skaters, as well as derby players. Schneider fits cusAs Schneider became healthier and tomers into skates and does skate mainstronger, the gender identity issues tenance. They also offer gear clinics, they’d been avoiding came bubbling to skate clinics and one-on-one training for the surface. Roller derby was there roller derby players. again, giving Schneider a space to be comfortable and welcomed.

The shop has limited, sometimes varied hours. Schneider has a day job, and league events keep them busy. The Ohio Roller Girls travel all over the United States to play; they’re heading to Jacksonville, Fla, the weekend of May 2-3.

At the age of 13, Schneider was hospitalized for severe anorexia. Their eating disorder, they said, was tangled up with an intense pressure to be more of what othMack Schneider ers considered feminine.

photos by emma parker outlookohio.com

If you’re interested in casual skating or learning to skate, local rinks across the state offer lessons, adult skate nights and skate rentals. Trail skating, where groups skate on paved bike trails, also is becoming popular.

Want to try roller derby yourself? You can learn the basics at the WannaBe Clinics hosted by the Ohio Roller Girls. They’ll let you borrow equipment, too. Clinic dates To appease parents and doctors, Schnei- Coming out as genderqueer on a are available on ohiorollergirls.com, der went through the motions of recovery women’s sports team was nerve-racking, where you can also buy tickets to their but didn’t truly heal. College found them they said, but teammates and coaches games. isolated, miserable and self-harming have been very supportive. until in a moment of clarity, they decided, Evan Jeshka is a freelance writer in Columbus. You “I don’t have to be this way.”

“The derby community is getting a lot can find them at better about being inclusive of non-bihitobitomarketing.com or They made a commitment to put aside nary identities,” Schneider said. “I have on Twitter at @EvanJeshka. their anxieties, go out, and try things a lot of really strong trans women I look they’d been afraid to do before. Roller up to who are skaters.”

Next Level Skate Shop derby was on that list.

4410 Indianola Ave, They added, “Being out, and being a Columbus, 43214 At a WannaBe clinic where novices learn business owner, is really important to me roller derby skills, Schneider showed off in terms of trans visibility.” Opening Next nextlevelskateshop.com their skating chops. They’d been a lifeLevel Skate Shop was a way of filling a long ice-hockey player, and organizers need in the skating community while Thu & Fri 1p-7p encouraged them to try out for the Ohio making a living doing what they love.

Sat 10a-6p Roller Girls, a Columbus-based team.

Sun 1p-6p.

But owning and operating a brick-andNow going into their fourth season of mortar store with no prior experience has (The store sometimes closes for roller derby events, so check roller derby, Schneider is a co-captain of been a challenge. Schneider’s best the calendar on the website.) the Roller Girls and travels around the friend, whom they met through derby, is Best roller skating song of all time: Chaka Khan’s “I Feel for You.”

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we ♥ ohio people

We ♥ Jerra Knicely and Jenn Moffitt

Their Walk Down the Aisle Includes an Anti-Discrimination Detour

by Bob Vitale

Jenn Moffitt and Jerra Knicely wanted to get married, not get on the 6-o’clock news.

They’re one of those in-love-with-mybest-friend couples whose first date felt like getting together with someone you’ve known for a long time. The night they first met in person, they sat on a rooftop next to the LeVeque Tower in Downtown Columbus, gazing out over the city and talking until the sun came up.

“It was like a fairy tale. We could have eloped that night,” Moffitt said.

because they’re a she marrying a she, they didn’t back down.

while trans, Moffitt and Knicely became activists in a hurry.

The Columbus couple shared their story and triggered a round of debate over religious liberty vs. civil rights that presaged the national uproar over Indiana’s passage of a law legalizing religion-based discrimination against LGBT people.

They’re now part of a newly formed group called Wenited, which plans to push cities across Ohio to add sexual orientation and gender identity to local nondiscrimination laws. According to the Human Rights Campaign, just 13 Ohio communities ban discrimination against LGBT people in employment, housing or public accommodations: Athens, Bowling Green, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, Coshocton, Dayton, East Cleveland, Newark, Oxford, Summit County, Toledo and Yellow Springs.

Moffitt said she emailed photographer Courtney Schmackers because her Next Door Stories business in Bexley was woman-owned, in the neighborhood, and pretty new. Moffitt is an aspiring photographer herself, so photography ranked first on the list of wedding chores after the couple got engaged.

Local laws are the only protection LGBT people have in the state. Ohio’s nondis“This was a young woman who opened up crimination laws do not cover sexual oria photo business,” she said. “I thought, ‘I entation or gender identity. Gov. John They’ve needed each other more than ever want that to be me.’”

Kasich said he doesn’t support an Indithese last couple months. ana-style law for discrimination in Ohio, Schmackers’ response was like a smack but he also opposes an expanded state What’s supposed to be the happiest time in the face. “Unfortunately at this time I law against discrimination. of their lives - the celebration of their love do not offer services for same-sex wedand the beginning of their journey as dings,” she wrote. She later said the deci- Knicely and Moffitt are poised for victory spouses - has been put on hold. The on- sion is “based on my spiritual beliefs and in Bexley, where city officials said they line comments from people claiming the biblical definition of marriage.” were embarrassed by Schmackers’ acsome sort of religious upper hand are tions and unaware of the lack of local cruel. Their email inbox is full of threats “It was the first time in my life anyone protections. Six of seven City Council so violent and obscene they stopped ven- said, ‘We won’t serve your kind here,’” members pledged to support a nondisturing outside for a while.

Moffitt said. crimination law that was in the works by early April.

Moffitt and Knicely didn’t go looking for Like the same-sex couples challenging this maelstrom, but when a reply email Ohio’s marriage ban, the teachers who “In most communities in Ohio, including from a suburban Columbus photographer find themselves in the crosshairs of Bexley, it is perfectly legal for your boss to informed them in February that their wed- Catholic bishops or the people who get fire you because you’re gay,” Council ding-planning dollars weren’t welcome harassed or worse simply for walking President Richard Sharp said at a March “We’ve never been apart since,” said Knicely.

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31 meeting, during which Moffitt sat with her arm around Knicely in an audience that included dozens of supporters.

“If our legislators at the state level won’t protect our residents, it’s in our hands,” he said.

Earlier that night, Central Ohio LGBT leaders addressed people who attended a pro-equality rally outside Bexley’s citygovernment building. The couple, not comfortable in front of TV cameras, held hands nervously. Stonewall Columbus Executive Director Karla Rothan called them “two brave young women, two sweet, shy people who just want to get married.”

She also said they’ll be honored at Columbus Pride on June 19-20.

The women who just want to get married said they’ll resume their planning once the storm calms. But first they have some work to do.

“If we can change the city of Bexley in five weeks, what can we do in five months in the state of Ohio?” Moffitt said.

“Set me loose.”

Bob Vitale is the editor-in-chief of Outlook. You can email him at bvitale@outlookmedia.com or follow him on Twitter at @Bob_Vitale.

Only supportive businesses will be at Outlook’s Love Big LGBT Wedding Expo on June 7 in Columbus.

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“KOOZA is the Cirquee at the top of its form.”

- SFGate

“Sim mply. Amazing.”

- Los Angeles Times

O OPENS JUNE 4

UNDER THE BIG TOP ON W. MOUND ST. outlookohio.com

CIRQUEDUSOLEIL.COM/KOOZA OM/KOOZA

BestKooza rollerareskating songowned of allbytime: Khan’s “I Feel You.” Cirque du Soleil and trademarks CirqueChaka du Soleil and used underfor license.

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Green Flamingos is the name of Chad’s documentary about his daily hangover.

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we ♥ ohio people

many lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender patients avoid seeing doctors out of fear of discrimination, and that many doctors unknowingly validate those fears.

“Most physicians in their medical school or residency training did not receive education or opportunity to work with LGBT people,” Ng said. “So they aren’t as familiar with them as a group. They aren’t as familiar with the health issues and concerns. We have a lot of uninformed providers.”

Toward the end of his residency at MetroHealth, Ng participated in a tradition known as “grand rounds,” in which doctors, residents and students present research on issues in their fields. While his colleagues focused on infectious diseases and cardiovascular health, Ng’s presentation was on LGBT patients.

He soon started receiving speaking invitations. Today, he hosts presentations on LGBT health dozens of times a year, to students, health care professionals and lay people across the country.

We ♥ Dr. Henry Ng

Cleveland MD is the Antitode to LGBT Health Disparities

by Luke Darby

According to Dr. Henry Ng, clinical competency - knowing how to diagnose and treat patients - isn’t the only thing that makes for capable health care.

Ng, who specializes in internal medicine and pediatrics, helped found the clinic in 2007.

Today, he’s its clinical director and president of GLMA: Health Professionals Advancing LGBT Equality, a national association for LGBT people in the medical profession.

At Cleveland’s Pride Clinic, they also boast cultural competency - knowing about the issues and concerns of LGBT people. The MetroHealth Pride Clinic, located in the Thomas F. McCafferty Health Center, is the only clinic in Ohio that’s dedicated to health services for LGBT patients.

When Ng studied medicine at Michigan State University in the late 1990s, he said, there was precious little curriculum about sexual minorities outside of a token panel discussion. “A lot has happened in the 20 years since; not many people were talking about LGBT health.”

Why is that specialization important?

Since then, med schools have worked to address such issues, and LGBT clinics have opened in some cities. Columbus Public Health has an LGBTQ liaison, and other government health agencies are taking steps as well.

If people aren’t comfortable with their medical providers, they won’t be open about their health issues and concerns - or, worse yet, they won’t see a doctor at all. And if medical providers aren’t comfortable with LGBT patients... well, see Point No. 1. outlookohio.com

But the progress has been slow. As recently as 2011, American Medical News found that

The report showed a big disparity in tobacco use between gay and straight populations.

Ng said he sees that in his own experience at the Pride Clinic: About a third of his patients are smokers; counting those who’ve quit brings the figure up to more than half.

Because smoking is associated with so many health complications, he said, it’s an example of the kind of information a physician needs to be aware of when working with LGBT patients.

“There are other factors that affect LGBT health - sometimes it’s sexual health issues but not always,” Ng said.

But when the issue is sexual health, he said: “Some providers find it hard to talk with men who have sex with men about erectile dysfunction or sexuality or anal intercourse or anal health. Or talk to women who partner with women about gyno care and sexual health.”

When he started working at MetroHealth, Ng learned quickly that if patients think a doctor can serve them Outside of the well, they stick issue of HIV/AIDS, with that doctor.

“Most physicians in their the LGBT commuAs an openly gay nity is largely left physician, he medical school or out of the healthquickly amassed care discussion in residency training did not a large LGBT the United States, clientele, and as a he said. Lesbians speaker of multireceive education or and bisexual ple languages he women have has a culturally opportunity to work with higher rates of and ethnically diobesity, cancer, deverse group of paLGBT people.” pression and anxitients as well.

- Dr. Henry Ng on the need for ety. Gay and bi cultural competency training men have higher “I think my brain in health care rates of substance was hardwired to abuse and suicide. learn languages,” Transgender peohe said. A native ple face the greatest barriers to access of speaker of Cantonese and English since medical care, are most likely to face a lack of childhood, Ng later learned both Spanish and understanding from providers, and face dan- American Sign Language. Although he still gers when they seek hormones or other treat- needs the help of a translator for sign lanment outside the medical establishment. guage, he uses his Cantonese at least once a week and Spanish daily.

A 2012 national smoking survey by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Preven“In college I was two classes and Don tion was the first-ever large-scale effort in Quixote away from a minor in Spanish,” he the country to include a proportionally represaid. sentative sample of lesbian, gay and bisexLuke Darby is a freelance writer from ual respondents (although people who Cleveland Heights. You can follow him identify as transgender or gender fluid still online at lukedarby.com or on Twitter were under-represented). at @DukeLarby.

The AIDS Task Force of Greater Cleveland’s ArtCares fundraiser is May 16. Come buy some cool art!

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we ♥ ohio people

We ♥ Rashida Davison They Stand Up for Black Lives, on the Street and on Film

by Erin McCalla

When a grand jury in Missouri was deciding whether or not to indict police officer Darren Wilson for killing Mike Brown, an 18year-old, unarmed black man, Rashida Davison looked online to see if a rally was taking place in Columbus to show solidarity with protestors in Ferguson.

Police Chief Kimberly Jacobs, who spoke at Outlook’s Network Columbus gathering in April, expressed regret over the erosion of Americans’ trust in law enforcement, but she described police conduct and public support in Columbus as light years ahead of other communities.

“The Columbus Police Department is pretty much in denial about the problems we tell When they found nothing, Davison organized them that exist in the community,” Davison the first #BlackLivesMatter march in Colum- said. “We have witness testimonies, but the bus alongside Tim Singratsomboune and response is, ‘have you filed a report?’ Yeah, Sarah Green in November 2014. we have filed a complaint, but you’ve never gotten back to us.”

But this type of activism is nothing new to Davison. They were raised in the small town It’s partly because of this work that Davison of Rocky Mount, NC, and their family often - who identifies as trans and genderqueer discussed race and class issues. was selected for this year’s Trans 100 list at just 25 years old. The recognition is appreci“I didn’t learn this [activism] at OSU,” they ated, but it doesn’t seem to faze them much. said. “I’ve always been this way.”

“Trans people of color have always been Davison, who was a film studies major at here, and we’ve always been doing things,” Ohio State, first got involved with the they said. “For example, if you watch Selma, #BlackLivesMatter movement when 17there is a guy in the film ... his name is Bayear-old Trayvon Martin was killed in Florida yard Rustin. He had maybe, like, two lines in in 2012. the film. However, he was one of Martin Luther King’s advisers, he helped organize “I was, interestingly enough, working on a the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedocumentary for my senior project. It was dom, but he’s been pretty much erased out when OSU was releasing all these crime of the history books. He was kicked out of alerts that would say, ‘black male with dark the movement by the Southern Christian hoodie’ or ‘black male, average height’ or Leadership Conference because they were ‘three black males.’ It was terrible,” they worried about how his openness about his said. identity [as a gay man] would reflect on MLK.” “But when the Hale [Black Cultural] Center was defaced that same school year, no Davison said people in the Civil Rights and crime alert went out about that. The docuLGBT movements often have trouble dealing mentary was like, ‘Who deserves to be pro- with two minorities or oppressed identities tected?’ And I actually didn’t realize, but I because they don’t want to lose focus on the was interviewing somebody about being original cause. racially profiled for walking on campus with a hoodie the exact same day that Trayvon “A lot of times we get erased from all the Martin was killed.” work that we’ve been doing,” they said.

“With Stonewall, the people who started the With the recent killing of 50-year-old Walter riots were trans women of color. But we Scott by North Charleston, SC, police officer don’t hear about them.”

Michael Slager, Davison is waiting to see what the justice system does before planBut it’s not only erasure from history that ning any marches or rallies. Currently, they concerns Davison. It’s finding representaare busy trying to raise public awareness in tion in everyday life.

Columbus about people’s concerns with their own police force.

“Being a genderqueer person of color in the

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community is really difficult because the only representation you see of trans people of color is very binary,” they said. “I don’t see very many trans people of color to begin with - you’ll see Laverne [Cox] and Janet [Mock] - but you don’t really see anyone anywhere else on the spectrum. When you do see genderqueer people, it’s white, white, white, white, white. I YouTube or Google [genderqueer], I don’t see me.”

And that is why Davison wants to use their filmmaking talents to create slice-of-life films for trans people of color. Currently, the representation of trans people of color in film is bleak: the characters die or stories end terribly. A skilled cinematographer with a feature film already released at Redbox (Profiled, 2014), Davison wants to venture into writing, producing and directing films as well.

“We need more examples where we are actually living, because a lot of times with trans people of color, their life expectancy isn’t very high,” they said.

“So what does it mean to live past 30 and be a trans person of color? We need those options in the media; that’s what I would like to contribute.”

photo by Emma Parker

Erin McCalla is the managing editor at Outlook. Reach her at 614.268.8525 x 2 or at erin@outlookmedia.com.

Search YouTube for Davison’s video “Not One More” for Transgender Awareness Week in 2013.

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Advertisers: Call by May 15 to get in our Pride issue. 614.268.8525, x4.

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Thanks to everyone who attended Pride Night at the Clippers! Now get your tickets for the Crew!

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we ♥ ohio people

We ♥ Supportive Businesses

Ohio’s Major Employers Take the Lead on LGBT Equality

by Bob Vitale

LGBT-Friendliest

riage Matters Ohio.

They’re not Ohio-based, but they certainly • The Ohio marriage ban supported by Jeeps, Fiats and Chryslers were at the head of the Toledo Pride parade last sum- do business here: Gov. John Kasich forbids state and local mer. And it’s kind of fitting, actually. governments from creating any sort of • Apple recognition for same-sex couples, but 25 The company that makes them, a Toledo • Barnes & Noble Ohio corporations told HRC they offer icon, was the first automaker to score 100 • Best Buy equal benefits for all families.

• Coca-Cola points in the Human Rights Campaign’s • FCA (formerly Chrysler) annual Corporate Equality Index. Jeep’s FCA recently spoke out against Indiana’s • Facebook current parent, FCA (Fiat Chrysler Auto“religious freedom” law, reiterating its • Google mobiles), has continued that record. own “zero tolerance policy for discrimina• Levi Strauss tion of any kind.” Last year, FCA flew a “One of the reasons I work for FCA is be- • Starbucks rainbow flag during Pride in Detroit.

• Time Warner Cable cause of the policies,” said Brett Scott, who took a position at the company’s De- • Visa As a company, FCA’s reasoning is simple, troit headquarters in 2011 and now said Georgette Dulworth, director of talent serves on the board of its LGBT employeeacquisition and diversity: “LGBT people backs of business, this is one area where buy cars, too.” resource group, GALA. Corporate America is far ahead of the “It doesn’t happen by accident,” he said. politicians: As an employer, its commitment goes much deeper.

• Ohio doesn’t ban discrimination Twelve Ohio-headquartered companies against people based on their gender and dozens of others that do business An employer should want people to bring here scored the high on the index, which identity or sexual orientation, but many of their whole selves to work, she said. measures such policies as anti-discrimi- the state’s biggest employers do.

Someone who feels treated unfairly won’t nation rules and transgender-inclusive be fully present on the job.

• Attorney General Mike DeWine has taken health coverage. FCA, which employs his opposition all the way to the US 1,700 people in Toledo, is among them.

“We are a sum of the people who work Supreme Court, but more than 300 Ohio here. To say we should treat one segment businesses have expressed their support of the people who work here differently Truth be told, for all that election-time for marriage equality through Why Martalk about getting government off the than the other is wrong.” outlookohio.com

Motor City Pride in Detroit (pictured above) is June 6-7.

Ohio’s Best

Twelve Ohio companies achieved 100 points on the 2015 HRC Corporate Equality Index.

That means all have nondiscrimination policies, all offer equal benefits to LGBT workers, all cover medical care for transgender employees, and all offer diversity training within their businesses: • • • • • • • • • • • •

Abercrombie & Fitch, New Albany Cardinal Health, Dublin Frost Brown Todd, Cincinnati Huntington Bancshares, Columbus KeyCorp, Cleveland Limited Brands, Columbus Nationwide, Columbus Owens Corning, Toledo Procter & Gamble, Cincinnati The Progressive Corp, Mayfield Village Squire Patton Boggs, Cleveland Thompson Hine, Cleveland

View the full report at hrc.org. may 2015

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we ♥ ohio people

We ♥ the Rubi Girls

by Bob Vitale

Apparently, you shouldn’t let the table full of wigs, row upon row of shoes and sparkly boots, pink foam curls, racks of dresses, bunny head, mannequin legs, plastic baby prop and large catalogue of Katy Perry music fool you.

The Rubi Girls say they’re not draq queens.

“We just put on dresses to raise funds,” says Tim Farquhar, backstage in what’s normally a conference room inside the Wright State University student center.

“Plus it’s an excuse for me to wear my mom’s hand-medowns.”

The Rubi Girls are getting ready for an April show that will raise money for the school’s LGBTQ student programs. About to take the stage as Fonda Peters (pictured above, far right), Farquhar’s caftan is on. His wig is in place, which means it’s slightly askew. His self-described Aunt Mabel lips - “they’re everywhere” - are, well, everywhere.

“These aren’t my real tits,” he says.

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“His real ones are bigger,” Josh Stucky chimes in without missing a beat.

the Rubi Girls, who ... have pledged to advocate, educate and fundraise for HIV services for as long as HIV is around.”

Farquhar and Stucky, who performs as Dana Sintell (pictured above, far left), are the last of the original Rubi Girls, a Dayton - oh, hell, let’s just call a queen a queen - drag troupe that’s been around for 30 years. What started as a group friends and housemates entertaining themselves has grown into an institution.

An estimated 60 to 70 men have been part of the Rubi Girls since since 1985. Current membership fluctuates between eight and 12; friends who’ve moved away are welcomed back onstage whenever they come home.

The guys who “just put on dresses to raise funds” have, at last count in 2012, raised more than $1 million for charities, most of which provide HIV/AIDS services in Dayton and beyond. And along the way, they’ve won competitions at Fire Island, shared their story in a documentary and received a community service award from Dayton city government.

“One of the battles that organizations like AIDS Resource Center Ohio fights today is ‘HIV fatigue’ and the general perception that the AIDS crisis is over,” says Bill Hardy, president and CEO of ARC Ohio. “The truth is that more people than ever are living with HIV, and only three in 10 Americans are getting the treatment they need to get the virus under control and remain healthy. ARC Ohio is grateful for community ambassadors like

There’s always room for another Katy in the group’s current sendup of Perry’s Super Bowl halftime show.

Farquhar and Stucky remember the early days. Unlike other fund-raising drag troupes such as Cincinnati’s Imperial Court or the Bag Ladies of Indianapolis, the Rubi Girls didn’t start out with altruism in mind. The young men who shared a house on Rubicon Street near the University of Dayton just didn’t have enough money for nights out at the bars.

“We’d entertain each other for fun,” Stucky said.

The in-home entertainment began drawing more people to the house in Rubicon Street. Crowds of 75 or more began coming over. The bars they couldn’t afford eventually came calling.

Now, even the bars are too small to hold a Rubi Girls crowd.

Visit the Rubi Girls on Facebook to find out about upcoming events.

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Beloved Dayton Drag Troupe Puts the Fun in Fund-Raising “Tim, did you tell them where we’ve traveled?” Stucky asks Farquhar.

“Well... Piqua...,” he responds.

There’s also Fire Island, where the group outperformed New York drag legend Hedda Lettuce in 2003 and was invited back summer after summer. And Saugatuck, the gay-friendly destination on the Lake Michigan shore that’s still on the group’s summer itinerary.

“We’re taking having a good time seriously,” says Jonathan McNeal (pictured above, second from the left), a member since 1997 who produced a Rubi Girls documentary in 2003. It’s still screened regularly in Dayton.

“There’s as much fun backstage as the audience sees onstage.”

The Rubi Girls are: Dana Sintell (Josh Stucky), Ilesea Plymouth (Jonathan McNeal), Magestik (Matthew Swisher), Annie Biotix (Mark Brewer), Laura Belle Bottoms (Mathys Herbert), India Summer (Brent Johnson), Wilma Fingedo (James Barone). Minnie Skyrt (Alex Everett), and Fonda Peters (Tim Farquhar).

The group also takes its work seriously, though.

Onstage as Dana Sintell, Stucky commends Wright State students for their political activism while contrasting The Rubi Girls’ annual post-Thanksgiving show in Day- their idealism with his own college days: “We just came ton had to be moved to a local union hall and now sells here to meet each other and have sex.” Backstage, McNeal explains the benefit of that yearly show at ONU: out all 500 seats in advance. A yearly show at Ohio Northern University in Ada, which also features fraternity “We’re getting a positive message to hundreds and hunand sorority members in drag, is the biggest nonsporting dreds of students.” event on campus.

And the Rubi Girls still live by the motto they share with A Rubi Girls show manages somehow to combine stag- the audience at every performance. ing and choreography with the charm of what still comes “We’re not going away ’til HIV does.” across as a group of buddies putting on a show. That’s because even though the painted faces have changed over the decades, they still are a group of buddies put- “So I’m tired as hell,” Stucky jokes. ting on a show. outlookohio.com

Thank you, Rubi Girls, for performing at our Dayton wedding expo!

Share your story ideas with Outlook Editor-in-Chief Bob Vitale.

He can be reached at 614.268.8525, x3 or by email at bvitale@outlookmedia.com. may 2015

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we ♥ ohio people

We ♥

Cincinnati Activist

by Erin McCalla

JAC Stringer is nothing if not passionate.

In a two-hour conversation that should be about him, he always brings the conversation back to the Heartland Trans* Wellness Group and trans activism - even when asked what he likes to do for fun.

Community organizing is in his blood.

Born and raised in Cincinnati, Stringer attended high school at Walnut Hills before earning his undergrad degree in psychology at the University of Cincinnati. It was during this time that he came out as transgender.

“I prefer to not talk about the typical coming-out story narrative, because I think our culture focuses on that a lot,” he said. Whenever trans and queer folks come out, it’s always, ‘How did your family react? Tell us all about the struggle.’”

And Stringer did, in fact, struggle when he came out in 2006. He had no connection to the trans community and didn’t know where to look for answers. But from that struggle, he started Gender Bloc, a UC student group that still exists today to create visible trans community space and advance trans concerns on campus.

Through Gender Bloc, Stringer convinced university officials to add gender expression and identity to the school’s nondiscrimination policy.

Photo: David N Martin/MKphotography

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“I kind of jumped in feet first,” he said. “I thought, if I can’t find anyone then maybe I will make something and people will find me. Maybe I won’t be so miserable because I will do something constructive. It was really what pulled me through it.”

Visit transwellness.org.

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t

JAC Stringer

Makes Trans Wellness His Life’s Work Starting what needs to be started became Stringer’s strategy in everything else, and Gender Bloc gave birth to the initiative that would become Heartland Trans* Wellness in 2012.

“We are a trans organization, run by trans people for trans people. We are promoting our own community’s health and wellness, and we are taking the power for ourselves,” he said.

Heartland’s mission is to provide community resources and education for the greater trans community - including partners and family. In Cincinnati, the group hosts monthly meetings and social outings for transgender, transsexual, gender non-conforming, gender-fluid and questioning adults; for transgender and queer teens; and for families, partners and allies.

Stringer is the director of programming and activism. Jonah Yokoyama - Heartland’s only other staff member - is a nurse who does the provider work.

Neither Stringer nor Yokoyama takes paychecks, so they have fulltime jobs outside the center. Stringer has a master’s degree in social work and is a licensed counselor for at-risk youth.

Since 2012, Heartland has grown from a one-person organization that received three or four calls and 50 emails a month to a two-person operation that gets 50 calls a month. Its Cincinnati Trans* Community Group is the largest in the Midwest, Stringer said.

The 30-year-old already has done a lifetime of work. When he was younger, he said, he was all work and no play. Even now, it’s hard to take off the activism hat. outlookohio.com

“When you build your life around that, it can be really difficult to separate: Where is my personal life and where is my work?” he said. “It’s tricky when you’re in a small community to balance being a person and a member of that community and someone who provides resources to it.”

Part of that balance is performing on stage for the last eight years with the Black Mondays, a Cincinnati drag king troupe.

“It was a way for me to express both happiness that was hard for me to find in my everyday life and also a gender fluidity that I wasn’t ready to cope with yet,” Stringer said.

“It helped me explore my genderqueerness before I was ready to in my everyday life.”

Though his performances have been mostly for fun, Stringer’s life always comes back to activism, and sometimes his passion can be misconstrued as anger.

“There are a good number of folks who don’t like the way I do things. Over the years I’m lucky to say that many of my colleagues have at least come to respect me and I really do respect them as well,” he said. “Sometimes activism is hard and ugly. And when you’re dealing with people’s survival and general sense of safety ... these are matters of life and death. You can’t always have pretty conversations when talking about life and death.”

“They have to be hard, and we have to work together to find a solution. That’s what I want - to work together.”

Erin McCalla is the managing editor at Outlook. Reach her at 614.268.8525 x 2 or at erin@outlookmedia.com.

Visit Melt, then, after.

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we ♥ ohio people

We ♥ Nickie Antonio Lakewood’s Lesbian Lawmaker Represents Our Community, Too

by Bryan Cole

her own soul-searching. When she came out, she experienced a sense When reflecting on her entry into pol- of clarity familiar to many in the itics, state Rep. Nickie Antonio LGBT community. “It’s kind of like all pauses to consider. “It wasn’t quite the pieces coming and clicking toa leap... It was kind of a slow walk.” gether,” she recalled.

vocal critics of Attorney General Mike DeWine’s dogged defense of Ohio’s marriage ban.

“It’s interesting to be in such a minority position, and I have double or triple citizenship in that area,” she She has a gift for these kinds of The leap into politics - or last step of laughed, citing the fact that she’s a phrases - dryly humorous and oddly that long walk - came after Ohio gay female Democrat. poetic. voters approved a 2004 amendment to the state For a long time, the first openly gay constitution that banned person ever elected to the Ohio Gen- same-sex marriage, civil eral Assembly worked as an advounions or any legal recogcate outside the political process. nition for couples.

She was a special education teacher, then went on to run a “I thought, ‘I know how I’ll women’s drug and alcohol recovery channel my energy and program. But politics - and politidisappointment - I’ll run cally charged issues - were never far for office,’” Antonio said. away.

The next year, she got her “I’ve always been concerned with is- chance in the form of an sues around equality,” she said, open seat on the Lakewood pointing to her administration of a City Council. She ran and multi-county HIV/AIDS coalition. won - and ran and won again in 2009 - and her “slow walk” into pol- But she refuses to be marginalized As her professional career drifted to- itics was complete. Almost a decade at the Statehouse. ward the political, she also was later, the Democrat is now a thricecoming to terms with her identity as elected state legislator whose dis“We continue to be relevant because a lesbian. trict stretches from Lakewood into the majority is so large and fracCleveland’s West Side. tured,” she said. Some have said “It was a slow process. I was in my there are essentially three parties in 30s,” said Antonio, who will turn 60 Despite firm Republican control of the General Assembly: right-wing in June. “It felt like the whole world the Ohio House, Antonio has introRepublicans, moderate Republicans was starting to recognize that there duced legislation to expand the and Democrats. That makes it necwere more gay people than anyone state’s nondiscrimination, hateessary for Republicans to reach out had ever thought.” crimes and anti-bullying laws to in- to her and her colleagues, she said. clude sexual orientation and gender That societal awakening mirrored identity. She is among the most As one of just two LGBT legislators in 32

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Ohio (Rep. Tim Brown, R-Bowling Green, was profiled in the August 2013 issue of Outlook), Antonio welcomes her de facto role as LGBT advocate. After a moment of reflection, she concludes that the two roles can be pursued simultaneously. More poetry: “I feel like they’re in harmony, rather than in conflict.”

It certainly helps that Lakewood is known as a progressive, LGBT-friendly community, and the Cleveland portions of her district include LGBT enclaves in Gordon Square and Ohio City.

voters to your side, it helps to have built strong partnerships with a varied group of community leaders. Ultimately, it’s a test of your dedication to your district. “[The question] really is ‘Are you committed to our community?’”

And at the end of the day, she said, it’s a lot of work with high stakes and sometimes little recognition.

“Probably some of the things that I feel the best about are things no one reported on,” she said, referring to times she successfully delayed a harmful piece of legislation or kept a bad line out of a bill.

“I represent a district where those are core values,” she said.

Those small moments lack the kind of spectacle and grandiosity that Electing more LGBT candidates to capture the public’s imagination, but when they happen, there’s nothlocal office in Ohio is the key to sending more LGBT legislators even- ing more satisfying. tually to Columbus, Antonio said.

But those who “come out really hard “Frankly, it’s a lot of work,” Antonio and fast as a ‘gay candidate’” tend said. “But it’s an honor. The work’s never done.” to fail, she said, because they haven’t adequately reached outside Bryan Cole is an Outlook of the LGBT community. writer who lives in Colum“Politics is all about relationships,” Antonio said. “If you’re trying to win

It appears that both Rep. Antonio and Bryan enjoy a scarf tied at a jaunty angle.

bus. You can follow him on Twitter at @TheresAPlace4Us. outlookohio.com

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trans* trends

A Law That’s Gotta Go

Cleveland Must Update Trans*-Discriminatory Restroom Ordinance

by Jacob Nash

Marriage equality may be around the corner here in Ohio, but what does that mean?

Lesbian, gay, bisexual and yes, transgender individuals will be able to marry the one they love, but is that the most important fight for transgender Ohioans? State government and the vast majority of Ohio cities still deny gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people basic human needs and rights.

The right to marry the one you love is important, but once it becomes the law of the land it will be a choice people will get to make. Using the restroom doesn’t fall into that category.

An all-too-familiar fight for trans* people everywhere is the right to use the restroom that aligns with one’s gender identity.

Most trans*-identified people go through a period when stepping outside the comfort of one’s home ranks among the most frightening acts possible. Add the possibility of having to use a public restroom, and it puts some into anxiety mode.

Imagine standing outside the restroom doors trying to decide which one would be the easiest to go into with the least possibility of being harassed or attacked. If you do “pass” in society fairly easily, you’re still on guard wondering if anyone can tell. Will they say anything if I walk into a stall and sit down? Can they tell the difference when I urinate by the sound?

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It seems a little extreme to most who are cis- restrooms, locker rooms, showers or dressing gender, but I can see all my fellow trans* peo- facilities. ple shaking their heads in agreement.

In 2009, Cleveland’s City Council passed a “As a transman, the restroom issue is so frus- nondiscrimination policy that included gender trating,” And(y)i Line, a trans activist in Akron, identity and expression in employment, houstold me via email. “There are days when walk- ing and public accommodations. But it also ing into a women’s included some very restroom feels like dediscriminatory lanfeat. If there’s a singlethat gives Imagine standing guage stall restroom or a businesses the right outside the restroom to tell transgender unisex restroom, I’m more inclined to use doors trying to customers or emthose. It’s painful to ployees which restdecide which one room they must use. hide. It’s painful to worry about our safety would be the easiest whenever we step onto a transgender to go into with the As the sidewalk on the man with facial hair least possibility of who was born with days I feel strong enough to express my being harassed or female genitalia, I masculine side. It all could be told to use attacked. the women’s room if comes in steps. I’m frustrated as I type it, my employer or a but it’s true. Here’s a restaurant owner place to start. It’s so absurdly simple. I want knew I was born female. the legal right to pee. Come on, people.”

Activists throughout Cleveland and surroundThere are few Ohio cities that have given ing cities, along with Cleveland Advocates for transgender individuals the right to use the Transgender Equality, Equality Ohio and other restroom that is associated with their gender groups, have been working to have this lanidentity. There are many more that do not. guage removed so transgender people can use restrooms that align with their identity. CleveAccording to Equality, Ohio only nine cities land City Council members Joe Cimperman have inclusive language: Athens, Bowling and Matt Zone introduced Ordinance 1446-13 Green, Cleveland Heights, Columbus, Coshoc- in November 2013 that would right this wrong. ton, Dayton, Newark, Toledo and Yellow Springs. All include transgender people within “I see us as one community: the L, the G, the B local nondiscrimination policies that include and the T,” one volunteer told me. “When one Let my people go.

of us is hurting or denied basic human rights ... it’s happening to all of us. It has been a privilege working with both trans*- identified and trans*-allied individuals, as a team, working for equality and justice in Cleveland.”

Through on-the-ground canvassing, faith forums and conversations with Clevelanders about what the change would mean, we have educated others not only about this ordinance but also about who transgender people are.

“The work being done here on 1446-13 is about so much more than restrooms,” said transgender and queer activist Zoë Renee Lapin. “It is a bridge to larger discussions within and outside the LGBTQ community, a bridge that takes us to a place of greater mutual understanding and liberation.”

So while we might be seeing some civil rights coming our way, Ohio has a ways to go in order for transgender individuals to feel safe and at home. We need to continue fighting for all LGBTQ people.

Remember, the simple act of using to a restroom - a basic need - is being denied to transgender people in Cleveland and many other cities and towns in Ohio.

Jacob Nash of Akron is a transgender activist, trainer and adjunct professor at Case Western Reserve University. He writes Trans* Trends every other month for Outlook. outlookohio.com

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insightout

How to Be Happy and Gay Rewire Your Brain to Appreciate the Positive

by Regina Sewell

Have you ever wondered why it’s so easy to focus on your inadequacies but not your natural fabulousness? Why you ruminate on the one negative thing your boss, partner or mother says while having a hard time taking in their compliments? Why you constantly feel like you’re waiting for the shoe to drop even when things are going well?

Rick Hanson, a neuropsychologist at UC Berkeley and author of Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm and Confidence, has the answer.

We’re hardwired for negativity.

According to Hanson, being fearful kept our early ancestors alive. They constantly had to decide whether to focus on going for the carrots such as food or sex or avoid the sticks such as predators or bloodthirsty enemies.

While both are important from a survival perspective, avoiding sticks always trumps collecting carrots. If you miss a carrot, you have a chance to get another. If you don’t dodge a stick, if you don’t steer clear of danger, you’re done for.

We evolved to have more neural activity going on in response to things that are threatening.

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we snap back so quickly when we feel criticized or judged.

As with everything else, the first step is awareness. Remember that your brain is ever vigilant for the sticks, and give yourself time to assess whether the threat is real. It could just be a paper tiger.

Not only do we tend to react more to negative events and experiences, we also tend to remember them more. It takes 12 to 20 seconds to store positive experiences in memory Second, redirect your attention to positive experiences. Rip your attention away from re- times you feel proud, adequate, calm, acsentment and cepted, complimented or safe. fear. Practice gratNegative events itude. Make it a and experiences habit to count your If our early ancestors times you feel blessings. Note all missed a carrot, they ashamed, inadethe gifts you’ve had a chance to get quate, frightened, been given and rejected, put down the positive expeanother. If they didn’t or physically riences you’ve dodge a stick, if they threatened - go had. Stop taking into your mental the fact that you didn’t steer clear of file cabinet almost have a roof over danger, they were immediately. your head and done for. enough money to As a result, Hanbuy food for son says, “the granted. brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for posiRather than complaining that you don’t have tive ones.” enough, be thankful for what you do have.

Make it a habit to review all the things you So what can you do if you don’t want the drip, are grateful for on a daily basis. Remember drip, drip of anxiety or the spin, spin, spin of to count the small things like the acts of rumination to rule or ruin your life? Hanson kindness you experienced and the fact that has some easy-to-write but difficult-to-exeyour heart is still beating. cute suggestions.

Another thing you can do to accentuate the How can you not be happy looking at that little sunshine?

positive is take time to notice what brings you joy and do more of that. If gardening makes you happy, get out there and garden.

No yard? No problem. Create a tiny herb garden for your porch or find a community garden where you can be one with nature.

If singing does it for you, find places to sing!

Sing in the shower, in the car, at a karaoke night. Join a choir.

And when you have positive experiences, savor them just like you would savor an expensive piece of chocolate. If you felt yourself beam when someone said you did a good job, breathe it in. When you feel moved by the beauty of a sunrise, stop what you’re doing and pay attention to it. When you get a chance to pet your cat or read to your child, let that be your entire focus.

Hold your attention on these positive experiences for 12 to 20 seconds. These practices will train your brain to latch on to more positive experiences, and the happier you’ll be.

Regina Sewell is a licensed mental health counselor. To ask her a question, propose a column topic, read about her approach to counseling, or check out her books and other writing, visit reginasewell.com. Insight Out appears every other month. outlookohio.com

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We’re with Square One on that one.

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Get your seats at the Outlook table for the Columbus HRC Gala. We’re always a good time!

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creative class

We ♥ Really, Really Gay Theater Unlike most theater groups, the Evolution Theatre Company of Columbus begins its new season in the summer.

But the sooner the gay programming begins, the better. And let us tell you... Evolution’s upcoming season sure is gaaaaaaaaaay.

Although the company has always included LGBT-themed productions on its schedule, it

announced last fall that it now will identify as an LGBT theater company.

Its new mission: to provide “a supportive encouraging environment for celebrating the artistic vision of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex and ally individuals, advancing the understanding of gender issues, and fostering the expression of creative perform-

ance arts by and about the LGBTQQIA community.”

Tickets cost $10-25.

This show looks at what it means to be a man, and what it’s like to fall in love and struggle to survive in a time and place where the odds are stacked against you. Suffused with songs of the era (swing, big band, boogie-woogie), Yank! explores what stories get told in wartime and how World War II became the great catalyst in bringing gay men and women together. While all the characters are fictional, all of the situations and viewpoints come directly from memoirs and oral histories of gay (and straight) service members who served during World War II.

This comedy was nominated for more than 30 awards during its long run in Los Angeles. Sordid Lives puts a comedic twist on a story of unconditional love, acceptance and “coming out” in a Texas family, as they all converge for the matriarch’s funeral. Their lives intertwine, giving each a new perspective, honesty and meaning.

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1. The Unreal Life of Sergey Nabokov by Paul Russell 2. Fairyland: A Memoir of My Father by Alysia Abbott 3. Sex Criminals, Volume 1 by Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky

All shows are performed at the Columbus Performing Arts Center in the Van Fleet Theater, 549 Franklin Ave, Columbus, 43215.

Sordid Lives Sept 16-26

“Temperamentals” was a code word for homosexuals in the early 1950s, part of a created language of secret words that gay men used to communicate. This play tells the story of two men - the communist Harry Hay and the Viennese refugee and designer Rudi Gernreich - as they fall in love while building the first gay rights organization with Chuck Rowland, Bob Hull and Dale Jennings in the pre-Stonewall United States. It is a true story. This production is lovingly dedicated to the memory of community advocate Barbara Sokol.

The Gay Literature Group of Greater Cincinnati has the following books on its calendar:

The upcoming season lives up to that promise.

Yank! The Musical May 27-June 6

The Temperamentals July 8-18

We ♥ a Good Book

Zanna Don’t: A Musical Fairy Tale Nov 11-21 Welcome to Heartsville High, set in a world where everyone is gay ... well, almost everyone. The big man on campus is the chess champion and the captain of the football team, made cool by being cast as the lead in the school musical. The students write a controversial show called Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell about straight people in the military, which becomes the catalyst for a young man and woman to fall in love.

Enter Zanna, a magical, musical fairy who, with a wave of his wand, brings true love to one and all.

For show times and to purchase tickets, visit evolutiontheatre.org.

Toledo’s People Called Women, Ohio’s only feminist bookstore, recommends the following: 4. High Desert by Katherine V Forrest 5. Taken by the Wind by Ellen Hart 6. Weeping Walls by Gerri Hill

We ♥ Fetch Playlists

Outlook’s

MAY MIX

by Robert Trautman

FEATURING: • Jamie xx Romy • Kindness • Shura • The Landing • Broken Back

• Jacuzzi Boys • HOLYCHILD • MisterWives • CRUISER • Grime Bleachers

• Lower Dens • Ceremony • Sufjan Stevens • Kevin Garret • Tobias Jesso Jr

Listen to it on Spotify: SEARCH: OM_05.2015

Sordid Lives writer Del Shores plans to attend the premier in September.

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creative class

Nina Unplugged

by Alisa Caton

In 2010, Barbra Streisand released a book, My Passion for Design, which was supposed to Columbus’ CATCO theater company is wrap- provide fans with a tour of her homes, but ultiping up its 2014-2015 season in May and mately unveiled some terrifying hoarder tenJune, and it’s bringing in a queen to put on the dencies. king of finales.

Streisand collected so many objects, she felt Andrew Levitt, the man who usually takes the the need to build a mall in the basement of stage in the wigs, makeup, pads and persona her mansion. Jonathan Tolins wrote Buyer & of drag queen Nina West, will make his profes- Cellar to create a fictional world in which sional theater debut in the one-man produc- Streisand hires an out-of-work actor to play a tion, Buyer & Cellar. salesman in her mall.

Director Steven Anderson said it’s a lucky accident that the show came together. After the originally planned season-closer didn’t work out, he was excited to bring what has become a cult classic to the CATCO stage.

“And who would be more perfect than Andrew?” Anderson said. “It’s mixing two big players and doing something neither would normally do.”

Levitt graduated from Denison University in 2001 with a bachelor’s degree in theater, and he said he’s thrilled to return to the traditional theatrical stage.

The play opens with an explanation of the star’s personal shopping center and what is factual in the story line.

Drag Queen’s Creator Tackles Theater Role

this new role. He’s used to having a say in every little detail when piecing together a drag show, but he said he’s prepared to hand over the responsibilities.

Anderson quickly adds, though, that he can’t wait for a costume-shopping trip with Levitt, so it’s doubtful the actor will be completely in the dark.

The duo have been thrilled about the idea of putting on this show since the decision was made, and they were very eager for their friends to hear the news.

“It was the shot heard ’round the world,” Anderson said of when CATCO officially “This is the true part, but this is also the most released the details of Levitt perbizarre,” Anderson said. “It begs the question forming in Buyer & Cellar. that just because you can, should you? Every once in a while there is a production where you know people will come more than once and this is one of those things.”

Levitt will perform on a cir-

cular stage, giving au“It’s dience members a such a departure, 360-degree view. but it’s so close to what “There’s a certain amount of I do and the world I’m in. breaking of the fourth wall,” “I think Steven Anderson What I do is theater.” “He breakssaid. has been so kind to the me to welcome me fourth wall all the - Andrew Levitt time in talking to the into this world. This is an exciting and welcome departure from what I do. My heart and soul is in the theater. I’m ready for a new challenge.”

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Buyer & Cellar

May 27-31, June 3-7 & 10-14

audience as Nina. You play the audience like you play an instrument.”

The only difference now will be the character Anderson jokes that he’s ready to be that chal- and maybe a little less makeup. lenge. “Anyone who has worked with me can you tell you I’m a challenge,” he said.

“It’s such a departure, but it’s so close to what I do and the world I’m in,” Levitt said. “What I “I can attest to that!” Levitt jokes back. Even do is theater. What I don’t tend to do is use in the early stages of rehearsals, the two dis- other people’s words.” play a dynamic director/actor relationship that’s sure to enhance the comedy.

The man behind Nina West admits that giving up total control is the greatest difference in 40

“The Columbus community is incredibly supportive, and they have been over the years in allowing me to evolve,” Levitt said. “There’s great joy in even the idea this is happening.”

@ Verne Riffe Center Studio 2 77 S High St, Columbus, 43215

Alisa Caton graduated from Ohio University with a degree in journalism. She’s a freelance writer who lives in Columbus.

A gay boy loves Barbra...say whaaaaa?

Wed 11a: $11.50 Thu 8p: $30 Fri-Sat 8p: $45 Sun 2p: $41

Call 614.469.0939 or visit catco.org outlookohio.com

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deep inside hollywood

by Romeo San Vicente

Will Documentary Do Grace Jones Justice?

ÂOut to WinÊ Tells Stories of LGBT Sports Pioneers

Gay icon Grace Jones has spent decades doing exactly as she pleases, always with a somewhat menacing smile on her face. It has proven to be the key to her success.

In a world where Michael Sam comes out before he makes it to the NFL, no matter the consequences, it’s easy to forget that not so long ago, his decision would have been unthinkable.

She modeled, she sang, she actressed, she posed in nightclubs, and she dated Dolph Lundgren, never once with anything less than absolute command of space.

Athletes in professional sports have long paid the price of silence, usually waiting until their most active years were behind them before coming out. This is history we shouldn’t forget, and now Out to Win, the latest documentary from director Malcolm Ingram (Small Town Gay Bar, Continental), is making the festival rounds.

.joblo.com

This would make her the perfect subject for a documentary, and thanks to the BBC, she will be. Director Sophie Fiennes (The Pervert’s Guide to Ideology, the weirdly entertaining documentary about philosopher The stories of people like Billie Jean King, Martina Slavoj Žižek) is handling duties behind the camera.

Navratilova, David Kopay, Jason Collins, Billy Bean and John Amaechi, all speaking about their careers How will she capture the everything-ness of her sub- first-hand, are collected in this moving portrait of the ject? The BBC explains it this way, describing the proj- last non-religious American job where coming out as ect as an “observational portrait” and “a LGBT can cost everything. multi-narrative journey through the private and public realms of the legendary singer and performer.”

Cable and DVD and streaming will happen soon enough, but if you’re near a good indie film fest, be We accept - and wait for 2016 to roll around and de- sure to give it your support. liver.

Newcomers Make Noise in AlmodovarÊs ÂSilencioÊ

HBO to Revisit KingÊs ÂBattle of the SexesÊ Speaking of Billie Jean King...

Spain’s best-known filmmaker, Pedro Almodovar, recently gave fans a taste of his old, irreverent self with the frantic, silly I’m So Excited!

But it seems like that brief detour into goofy, dirty comedy was only a palate cleanser. With Silencio, the director is returning to serious drama and his preferred “female universe.”

photo by Roberto Gordo Saez

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If you were around and paying attention in 1973, you might remember that plenty of otherwise-reasonable adults were still skeptical about the talent of female athletes.

In fact, it was such a strange time in history “Women’s Lib,” as it was called then, was a hot-button issue - that there came to be a tennis match Details are few and far between plot-wise, but the film known as “The Battle of the Sexes” that would transfix seems to revolve around the ebb and flow of satisfac- the entire country. Bobby Riggs, the 55-year-old who tion and success in the life of a woman named Julieta had won Wimbledon back in 1939, would play against - played by Spanish actors Adriana Ugarte and Emma the No. 2-ranked, 29-year-old King.

Suarez as the character’s younger and older versions, respectively.

And he would lose. And it was a sensation, sparking debate and heated misogynistic weirdness as far as Almodovar is known for casting his films from a stable the eye could see. of his favorite actors over and over, and dedicated followers will notice the likes of Dario Grandinetti (Talk Now, thanks to producers Elizabeth Banks and Tom to Her) and longtime Almodovar staple Rossy de Hanks, an untitled HBO film starring Banks as King will recreate that pop-culture storm. David Auburn Palma (Women On the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown) in the cast.

(Proof) will write the script, and Paul Giamatti has been cast as Riggs.

But this time around, those are the only repeat names, and the cast is filled with new (to this director, at Can’t wait. least) faces and names. Maybe he’s building a new Romeo San Vicente lettered in lesbian softball. His column runs team for 2016? every month in Outlook. He can be reached at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

Pedro, please discover another Antonio Banderas...

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trippin’ out

Magic Kingdom

No Matter How Much You Visit, Key West Never Loses Its Charm

by Aaron Leventhal

photos by Beth Ervin Leventhal

Wedged between the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico, Key West has beckoned adventurous spirits to its sandy shores for more than three centuries.

I am no exception. Since the 1970s, I have often been drawn to Key West’s tropical beauty, carefree ambiance and incomparable diversity.

Sailing and snorkeling on the Fury

Lush tropical gardens surround historic Key West cottages

The tiny island at the southernmost part of the United States lies 150 miles south of Miami and just 90 miles north of Cuba. Its Bahamian wooden shanties, lush tropical vegetation and endless warm, sunny days give it a distinctly Caribbean aura. Add on its fabled history of pirate escapades, torrential hurricanes, shipwreck salvaging, cigar making, sponge gathering, deep sea fishing and more bars per block than Athens, Ohio, and it’s little wonder that notables from Ernest Hemingway and Tennessee Williams to President Harry S Truman and Jimmy Buffett have all called it home.

It’s best to begin any visit to Key West by boarding the guided, open-air City View Trolley Tour. It stops at eight major attractions, with opportunities to hop on and off and see most of the major sights in a day. Be sure to include the Hemingway House, sunken treasures at the Mel Fisher Maritime Heritage Museum and the Key West Butterfly and Nature Conservatory.

Dining and live music at Blue Heaven in Bahamian Village

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Put aside time to sail and snorkel aboard the Fury. And make sure you stroll through Old Town’s historic neighborhoods, with

3,000 architectural gems, as well as the historic Seaport District, with its Harbor Walk filled with souvenir shops, pubs and charters for diving and deep-sea fishing.

The best freebie is the iconic sunset ritual at Mallory Square, where the daily celebration includes street performers, musicians, crafts and food vendors.

Where to Dine There are dozens of choices for every taste and budget, from intimate cafes to fine dining restaurants. My favorites include: Blue Heaven and Bodega Santiago in Bahamian Village; Louie’s Backyard at the waterfront for steaks, chops, fresh fish and seafood; La Traviata for Italian fare; El Siboney for Cuban specialties; and Seven Fish, a neighborhood classic. Popular hangouts that are open until 4a include the Green Parrot, Sloppy Joe’s and the Schooner Wharf at the waterfront.

Where to Stay The Westwinds Inn (westwindskeywest.com) is a hidden gem located in Old Town near Duval Street and all the action. The charming, historic clapboard home is now a 22room bed and breakfast with an elegant, tropical courtyard garden, two outdoor pools and delicious complimentary breakfast.

For more, contact the Key West Visitor Center at 1.800.ASK.KEYS or fla-keys.com.

Columbus-based travel writer Aaron Leventhal provides smallgroup travel experiences. His next trip is to the Toronto International Film Festival, Sept 6-20. He’s online at leventhaltravel.com.

Key West sunsets (pictured above) are cause for a daily celebration at Mallory Square.

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Matt Hon (left), executive director of the LGBTQ Key West Business Guild, chats with Aaron Leventhal at La Te Da Restaurant on Duval Street

ÂThe Most Gay-Friendly Place in the WorldÊ Ohio native Matt Hon, 47, is executive director of around 98 percent, during a month when things the Key West Business Guild (gaykeywestfl.org), used to begin to slow down. a nonprofit marketing group dedicated to attracting LGBTQ visitors to the island year-round. AL: Describe the gay community in Key West.

MH: I came here in part because I hated the Aaron Leventhal: What brought you to Key cold, gray, gloomy days in Ohio, but even more West the first time? important was the island’s accepting attitude.

Matt Hon: My partner Lennie and I first came to Key West was among the first truly accepting Key West in 1993, after some friends returned places where gay visitors could be openly themfrom a visit and said it was gay and fabulous. selves. “One Human Family” is our official city That year we stayed at the Island House and and county motto. had too much fun. We were living in the Short North at the time and left 80-degree tempera- Richard Heyman, who became Key West city tures in Key West to return to 10 degrees in commissioner in 1978 and mayor in 1983, was Columbus. among the first openly gay Americans to be elected to public office. Republican Mayor Craig We returned often together until Lennie’s sudden Cates proclaimed January 6, 2015, asMarriage death of a brain aneurysm in 1998. I continued Equality Day. to visit by myself and eventually started coming several times a year. In early 2004, I returned During the AIDS epidemic, Key West embraced from Key West to learn that the company I those who were affected; in fact, many victims worked for was downsizing. They gave me a sev- came here. We have one of the oldest AIDS serverance, and I packed up my ’95 Jeep Wrangler ice organizations in the US; there is an AIDS meand headed south. I came here with the attitude morial on city property by the White Street Pier that the island would either welcome me or give engraved with thousands of names. me the boot.

Since the late 1960s we have had a joint miliAL: How did you get involved with the Business tary color guard lead the Pride parade, and last Guild? year was the second year the VFW participated.

MH: When I first arrived, I worked as a mate on a For me, having the VFW involved is a major parasail boat, six days a week, and lived in a statement about Key West’s openness. small efficiency apartment. I first became involved with the Guild as a volunteer, and I was AL: What are the Business Guild’s goals for hired as the events coordinator in 2010.

2015?

MH: We are going to work on making the rainWe plan and produce several events that have bow even brighter over Key West and make it the made Key West a year-round destination, inmost gay-friendly place in the world. We are cluding a huge Pride festival in June, Tropical marketing to the subcultures of the LGBTQ comHeat in August, Key West Womenfest in Septem- munity [people of color, religious groups] and let ber and Hot Pink Holidays in December. To it be known that they are as welcome on the isdemonstrate the impact of events on tourism, land as everyone else. hotel occupancy rates during Pride are typically outlookohio.com

When you go to Key West, you must get a frozen key lime pie on a stick. Delicious!

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bookmark

Daydream Come True: An Interview With Jonathan Harper

by Gregg Shapiro

Jonathan Harper’s debut short-story collection, Daydreamers, (Lethe Press) is the kind of book that you hope it would be: a fantastic introduction to a creative and original voice in fiction.

The stories are populated with an arresting assortment of characters, including repo men, tattoo artists and suspension artists, role playing gamers, friends, family, and those occupying the gray area between friendship and kinship.

Throughout the stories is a pulsing undercurrent of sexual tension and dilemma that keeps the pages turning.

Gregg Shapiro: What does the publication of the book mean to you?

Jonathan Harper: I’m still in a state of disbelief that this is happening. Actually, I’m terrified.

I spent so much time loving the process of writing it: all the solitude, imagining the stories and then getting to live through them. The finished book was always a hypothetical, which may or may not get published.

I realize now that I never really thought of this as a book others could interact with. Now that it’s here, I have no idea what to expect. I just hope that if someone reads it, they find some sort of connection.

GS: As a writer of short stories, do you have a favorite short story collection?

JH: Bad Behavior by Mary Gaitskill. I bought a copy when I was 21, and it was 46

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the first book to make me hold my breath.

table of contents, I ended up writing a lot of notes about the project as a whole.

Settings and circumstances, however, are a completely different story.

I reread it every few years, and even though my reaction to it has changed over time, I still feel empathy for her characters.

I knew I wanted to write about people struggling against their communities. I also wanted characters who daydreamed of being someone else or having extraordinary things happen to them. Then the stories fell into place.

I try to avoid making generalizations, but I do think a lot of fiction writers are reflected in their characters. We invent these people, give them personalities and names, and then throw them headfirst into conflict. What they encounter is what the writer cares about - what frightens or intrigues us or what we obsess over.

GS: Who are some of your favorite short story writers?

JH: My reading is scattered, and I really admire a lot of different writers for different reasons. Just to name a few: Flannery O’Connor, Stephen Elliott, Angela Carter, Jameson Currier, Nuala Ni Chonchuir ... the list goes on.

I also slept with a copy of Jeff Mann’s The History of Barbed Wire under my pillow for two months.

GS: What was involved in the process of selecting stories for Daydreamers?

JH: During grad school, one of my professors said that I wrote about people struggling between who they want to be and what the world will allow them to be.

I was so touched by that. Beforehand, I kind of knew what I was trying to accomplish. I worked within these loosely defined themes of identity and isolation.

There was a lot of sexual imagery and very passive characters who sort of let things happen to them.

After that conversation, I became much more focused on what my characters actually wanted.

When I first started assembling this collection, it took me a long time to get organized. Before I could put together a

GS: Were there more than these nine stories, and if so, do you foresee compiling the remaining stories into another collection?

JH: Probably not. The majority of these stories were first written in my 20s and now I’m in my mid-30s. It’s difficult to edit work that was inspired by a previous part of your life. The further away you get from your inspiration, the harder it becomes to rekindle with it.

I don’t want to say I lost touch with these pieces, but I kept wanting to rewrite them from a different perspective or in a different style, and the more you tinker with a story, the more you risk losing the original urgency.

I’m not opposed to revisiting old work, but I’m ready for a clean slate.

GS: Is there a character or characters in any of the stories that are fictional representations of you? If so, which characters are closest to you?

JH: The short answer is no. I don’t want the burden of having to accurately portray myself in fiction. I want my characters to act in a way that’s meaningful to the plot, and sometimes that means keeping enough distance to remain objective.

I bet he shops at Europtical!

In my story, “Nature,” I put this very weak-willed boy, August, on the edge of his cousin’s circle of friends. They’re into BDSM and body modification. It’s a community he doesn’t belong in, which is what makes it so alluring for him.

I may or may not have personal experience with this. There were at least a dozen drafts of this story. In some versions, August was emotionally destroyed, and in others he thrived. I think we project part of ourselves on our characters.

The more choices they have to make, the more consequences they suffer and the more we learn about ourselves.

GS: You seem to know a lot about roleplaying games in the story, “No More Heroes.” Are you writing from experience?

JH: Oh dear. Yes, I am well-acquainted with this subject matter. When I was young, I was definitely one of those kids who lived in his imagination long after it was encouraged.

I read fantasy novels, watched anime and played D&D (Dungeons & Dragons). outlookohio.com

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On top of that, people started figuring out I was queer, which made me an outsider amongst outsiders.

I suffered a lot of rejection but also received a surprising amount of acceptance. It’s funny how when I play now, I get this surge of child-like delight. But the next day, I get very self-conscious over it. There’s a lot of shame built up from an awkward childhood.

This was a difficult story to write. It was fun to geek out on the page, but I worried people wouldn’t take this subject matter seriously. You can’t write a story about a game without showing it, but you don’t want it to eclipse the actual characters.

For me, this story was about the friendships I had with straight boys growing up and what brought us together.

I was telling a friend about it and he mentioned Sam Lipsyte’s story, “The Dungeon Master,” that was published in The New Yorker.

I rushed home and read it online. At first, I was horrified. Lipsyte’s story was amazing and shameless, and he beat me to the punch! Our stories are very different, but they have similarities, and his is far superior. I almost abandoned mine, but then I felt inspired.

Gaymers exist as well and I think we deserve stories, too. This might be a topic I write about again in the future.

GS: One of the things that stood out about the stories is that they are set in regions - the DC suburbs, for instance - that don’t often find their way into LGBT fiction. What role does place play in your work?

JH: I knew early on that I wanted to write about the queering of the suburbs. That doesn’t mean I avoided other settings; I just wrote about what I knew.

Most of my life, I’ve lived on the edge of a big city, looking in on it thinking, “That’s where my people are.” A lot of us viewed the suburbs as a temporary holding cell. Very few of us got out and

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made it into the big city.

Most of my settings come with a sense of social norms and expectations. But I like that because it instantly makes a character choose between rebelling and conforming. The suburbs are very important to me. I have such a wonderful life here, even if it’s not what I originally imagined for myself.

GS: The story “Costume Dramas” contains several references to Gillian Anderson. Where does she fall on your list of favorite actresses and what is your favorite Gillian Anderson role?

JH: I really do like Gillian Anderson.

She’s a brilliant actress who does a lot of great work that I don’t think she gets a lot of credit for. The one show I’m watching now is The Fall, and it’s just incredible and horrific. So, I figured, why not make a shoutout to someone I admire.

Maybe she’ll send an autographed photo.

GS: Older men who collect younger guys make appearances in the stories “We Only Flinch When It Isn’t Necessary” and “Montgomery Boys.” Can you please say something about that?

JH: Lunch and Bruce are both pretty insidious characters, one comically so and the other not.

They both prey upon youth, use it for their own purposes and then discard the damaged parts. And then, those who are collected don’t necessarily identify as victims.

I want to be clear - I don’t harbor some deep-seeded fear or hatred for the older generations. When I was younger, I sought out the attention of older men.

Some of them had bad intentions, most of them did not. Some of my most meaningful friendships came from these people who took me under their wing.

But I do know that people like Lunch and Bruce exist because I’ve encountered them.

Ohio LGBT authors: Tell us about your work! bvitale@outlookmedia.com.

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Photos: KBiz Entertainment.

interview

The Unbreakable

by Chris Azzopardi

Mo’Nique isn’t one to hold back. Take her ongoing clash with Lee Daniels, who directed her Oscar-winning performance in 2009’s Precious.

Daniels said the 47-year-old’s behavior got her “blackballed.” She, on the other hand, says Hollywood isn’t playing fairly.

As the actress’ latest film, the gay-themed Blackbird, hit theaters in April (it should be on video-on-demand sometime this summer), Mo’Nique discussed how the backand-forth feud wouldn’t stop her from working with Daniels again; her belief that if she doesn’t have to come out as straight, nor should LGBT people; and the childhood mantra that brings her comfort when the media is on her back.

Chris Azzopardi: Blackbird tells the story of someone who’s looking for acceptance from the outside world but also from within. Have you been there? Do you 48

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know what it feels like to be an outsider?

Mo’Nique: I think every human alive understands what it means to be an outsider.

We’ve all been outsiders in one situation or another, so of course I’ve felt like an outsider before. But it’s OK to be an outsider.

CA: What situation did you find yourself in that made you feel like an outsider?

M: Baby, when I wanted to be a high school cheerleader and they didn’t think I could wear the little small skirts and do the kick.

CA: As an LGBT ally, where do you go internally to play someone like Claire, the homophobic mother in this film?

M: I go to honesty, because I know those mothers and I know those fathers that have and are having a really difficult time accepting the babies that they brought into the world. They can’t understand, “How can my baby be born that way?”

CA: What do you hope Blackbird conveys to those parents?

M: That it’s OK to love your baby through it.

That it’s OK to love your baby, because your baby has done absolutely nothing wrong.

It’s OK to let your baby be who they were born to be and who they were made to be with no apology. Claire really feels like this is a sin, and we’re hoping that for our brothers and sisters who are really having a rough time because of their religion, that they walk away and see the devastation it can do to human beings, because you have no control over that.

It’s a message that says it’s OK to walk in your truth. It’s OK when it’s not popular or no one understands. It’s OK. To have the chance to play with a fearless director (Patrik-Ian Polk) that’s so willing to tell the truth in its rare form - I really thought I would never get that opportunity again.

CA: You had said that the scripts never stopped coming after Precious, but aside from 2009’s Steppin: The Movie and now Blackbird, you haven’t appeared in a movie since Precious. Were you just passing on them?

We’ll pass on word of any Ohio screenings of Blackbird via Facebook.

M: I passed on most of them because the offers didn’t make sense. When you speak to Tyler Perry and he says to you, “If you get nominated, your next film is gonna be between $3 and $5 million, and if you win it, it’s between that and $8 million” - well, I appreciated the information he gave to my husband (Sidney Hicks) and I. We appreciated that. But there have been no offers that have come in from the studios that have appeared that way. The offers that were actually coming in were lower than what I made before I won an Oscar.

CA: Why do you think that is?

M: That’s the big question. I can’t answer why that is, but when you hear our beautiful sisters Patricia Arquette and Gwyneth Paltrow say we need wage equality and they’re our white sisters, well, what do you think we’re getting being women of color?

What I will say is, while there are those people out there who just believe (they) can play unfair, there are also those people out there who say we are going to play fair

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Mo’Nique - it’s a company called HBO. I did a movie with HBO called Bessie (premiering May 16), and it’s amazing. Queen Latifah plays Bessie Smith and she is, hands down, absolutely brilliant in her performance (Mo’Nique plays the openly bisexual Ma Rainey).

When HBO called, they played fair. The offer that they gave was more money than I’ve ever been offered before and after this Oscar, so I say that everybody that buys into the game of “let’s just see if we can get them for whatever we can get them for,” there are those that do play fair, so I have to applaud HBO for playing fairly when they called for me to do the movie Bessie.

CA: What the gay community has always appreciated about you, Mo’Nique, is the ease with which you speak your mind.

That’s what Blackbird is about, because even though we’re discussing this situation - and there are people who are saying, “Mo’Nique, aren’t you afraid to say it out outlookohio.com

loud?” - that’s the same thing that people are telling our babies who were born the way they are, and they’re saying, “Aren’t you afraid to say you’re gay out loud?”

She’s a Homophobic Mom on Screen and a Strong Ally in Real Life to say, “Guess what, Chris, I’m a heterosexual!” Let people be.

CA: From your experience with black gay

“It’s OK to love your baby, because your baby has done absolutely nothing wrong. It’s OK to let your baby be who they were born to be and who they were made to be with no apology.”

Mo’Nique We’re hoping this movie stops the comingout announcement. I never had to come out to say, “I’m a heterosexual.” Never had to go on anybody’s show. Never had to write a book. Never had to apologize. Never had

culture, do you think it’s more difficult for black gay men to be out?

M: I think that it’s hard for any man to be out. See, there was a time I did feel that way until I started doing the festivals for

Bessie shounds pretty good, too!

Blackbird, and at those festivals we were being approached by white men, Asian men, black men. They were all saying the same thing - that’s my story. So there was a time I did feel that way, and the reason I felt that way was because that was the only community I was in to see it.

I think it’d also be beautiful if [there’s not] just a white Gay Pride and a black Gay Pride - it’ll be beautiful when it’s just Pride and it’s not separate. Again, what this movie says is equality, but what this movie also says is love is so powerful and so beautiful. You don’t get caught up in, “Oh my goodness, it’s two men”; you get caught up in, “Oh my goodness, they’re so in love.”

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com or follow him on Twitter at @chrisazzopardi. may 2015

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Out & About

330.252.1559; canapi.org: The LGBT film series’ latest is a 2011 documentary about how people in San Francisco responded to and were affected by the devastation of AIDS in the early 1980s.

FRIDAY, MAY 22 MONDAY, MAY 25 Memorial Day Weekend @ Circle JJ Campground, 1104 Amsterdam Rd, Scio, 43988; 330.627.3101; circlejjranch.com: The gay and bi men’s campground is swinging into summer. Memorial Day weekend events include a Red Party, free cookout, pool party and more. $15 for day or night passes, and rentals run from $15$110 per day.

SATURDAY, MAY 2 Cavan Irish Pub Turnabout Show @ Cavan Irish Pub, 1409 S High St, Columbus, 43207; 614.725.5502; FB: Cavan Irish Pub: The tables are tucked - make that turned - as your bartenders take a turn on stage. 10p.

the lesbian community. Dr. Shelley Blackburn of Rivers Edge Family Medicine will speak. 6:30p.

SATURDAY, MAY 16 LGBTQ Hiking Club @ Ohio Caverns, 2210 State Route 245 E, West Liberty, 43357; WEDNESDAY, MAY 13 614.930.2265; stonewallDiscussion: Exploring the columbus.org: Stonewall’s Legend: Is Equality Alive in SUNDAY, MAY 3 Columbus Lesbian & Gay hiking group takes a 70-mile Lakewood? @ Lakewood Softball Association Opening field trip to Champaign Public Library, 15425 Detroit Day @ Tuttle Park, 240 W County for the stalagmiteAve, Lakewood, 44107; Oakland Ave, Columbus, and stalactite-filled natural 216.521.0655; lake43201; clgsa.com: Play ball! wonder that describes itself woodalive.com: The community group LakewoodAlive will Memorial Day Weekend @ CLGSA teams play every Sun- as a place “where nature carved a fairyland.” Sounds host a discussion on the city’s Freedom Valley Campground, day. apropos. 10:30a-noon; adstatus as a welcoming place 1875 US 250 S, New London, mission to Ohio Caverns refor LGBTQ residents. Plexus 44851; 419.929.8100; freeWEDNESDAY, MAY 6 Melissa Etheridge/Women’s quired. board president Michelle domvalleycamping.com: Tomallo moderates a panel Happy Summer! The gay and Fund of Central Ohio Keythat includes Alana Jochum bi men’s campground holiday holder 2015 @ the Ohio The- SATURDAY, MAY 16 Nina Wests’s Think You Can of Equality Ohio. 7p-9p. weekend includes Ms. Denise atre, 39 E State St, Columbus, 43215; womDrag @ Axis, 775 N High St, Russel in concert, a CLEVELANDColumbus, 43215; cookout/potluck, cornhole and ensfundcentralohio.org: The AKRON / NORTHEAST FRIDAY, MAY 15 singing legend and LGBT icon 614.291.4008; Team CLE VIP Night at the volleyball tournaments, unaxisonhigh.com: More than Cleveland Gladiators @ derwear nights and plenty of will speak - and, we hope, SUNDAY, MAY 3 sing just a little at the an$1,000 in prizes will be Quicken Loans Arena, 1 Cenpool time. $12 for day or night Miss Gay Akron America @ awarded at the annual amater Court, Cleveland, 44115; passes, and there are holiday nual Women’s Fund event.

Interbelt, 70 N Howard St, (Catch our interview with teur drag contest. 8p; $6 Akron, 44310; 330.253.5700; teamcle.org: Your ticket to the rates for rentals.

Etheridge in the March issue arena football game includes interbelt.com: The theme is of Outlook.) 6p; $50. a club seat, pre-game SUNDAY, MAY 17 SATURDAY, MAY 30 Vegas Showgirl, and cateColumbus Women’s ChoBears on Bears (At the Zoo) gories include male interview, catered buffet, drinks and rus/Lady Liberty: Liberté, stadium-style food during the @ Cleveland Metroparks Zoo, THURSDAY, MAY 7 talent, evening gown and Egalité, Sororité @ King Avgame. Team CLE is the group 3900 Wildlife Way, Cleveland, Stonewall Democrats of Q&A. Performers include Central Ohio Wine-Tasting enue United Methodist that supports Cleveland’s 44109; clevelandbears.org: KeYanna Diamond, Sasha @ Union Café, 782 N High St, Church, 299 King Ave, LGBT sports teams and The Cleveland Bears will take Boner and Tatiana James.

Columbus, Ohio 43215; FB: Columbus, 43201; leagues. 7p; $60. a trip to the zoo to visit even 10p (registration at 3p with more furry creatures. Meet at Stonewall Democrats of Cen- 614.636.3541; colswomen$50 entry fee); $5 cover. tral Ohio: Former Ohio Gov. schorus.org: The feminist the ticket center. Noon; SATURDAY, MAY 16 Ted Strickland, who is runchorus presents its spring Art Cares 2015 @ Cleveland $12.25.

SATURDAY, MAY 9 ning for the US Senate in concert. 3p; $15.

Rally for Marriage Equality: Masonic Auditorium, 3615 2016, will attend the annual Together As a Community @ Euclid Ave, Cleveland, 44115; wine-tasting gathering for SATURDAY, MAY 23 Youngstown State University 216.357.3131; aidstaskLGBT Democrats. 5:30p; $50 Other Prom 2015 @ Wexner force.org: Bid on art donated (campus core in front of the (includes one-year member- Center for the Arts, 1871 N Kilcawley Center), 1 University by professional artists in ship).

High St, Columbus, 43210; Northeast Ohio and students Plaza, Youngstown, 44555; 614.294.5437; kycohio.org: from the Cleveland Institute 330.941.3597; The annual prom for LGBTQ of Art. The money from the SATURDAY, MAY 9 ysunity.webs.com: YSUnity, Burgers for Boobies @ and allied Central Ohio youth annual auction and party Equality Ohio and other orAWOL, 49 Parsons Ave, ages 12-20 is free. It’s sponganizations invite everyone to goes toward services proColumbus, 43215; sored by Kaleidoscope Youth vided by the AIDS Task Force show their support for mar614.621.8779; FB: AWOL Bar: Center with support from the of Greater Cleveland. More riage equality. 11a-1p.

The event benefits the Susan AIDS Healthcare Foundation than 1,000 people are exG Komen Race for the Cure. and the Wexner Center. 8ppected. 6:30p-1a; $50 ($100 SATURDAY, MAY 9 11p.

Bow Tie Bowling @ Freeway VIP).

THURSDAY, MAY 14 Lanes Bowling Alley, 12859 COLUMBUS / Improving Healthcare for SUNDAY, MAY 24 Brookpark Rd, Parma, 44130; SUNDAY, MAY 17 CENTRAL the Lesbian Community: A The Glamazons Present: Ta Da! That’s How We Roll @ FB: HRC Cleveland Bow Tie Community Conversation @ Battledrag IV @ Wall Street, Mahall’s, 13200 Madison Ave, Bowl: You mean you don’t FRIDAY, MAY 1 Columbus Public Health 144 N Wall St, Columbus, Lakewood, 44107; bowl in a bowtie? The event Bianca Del Rio’s Rolodex of 240 Parsons Ave, Columbus, 43215; 614.464.2800; wall216.651.5428; lgbtclevebenefits HRC. 6p-9p; $30 Hate Tour @ Short North 43215; 614.645.7417; FB: streetnightclubandshowbar. ($25 in advance) or $140 for land.org: Ta Da! is a series of Stage, 1187 N High St, Improving Healthcare for the com: “Blood on the Floor” is parties and events that raise a lane for six ($110 in adColumbus, Ohio 43201; Lesbian Community: Colum- the theme of the fourth anmoney for the LGBT Commuvance).

614.725.4042; shortnorthbus Public Health, Stonewall nual Battledrag show/compenity Center of Greater Clevestage.org: It’s today, Satan!

Columbus and the Family tition. This year, it’s Team land. This night of bowling is MONDAY, MAY 11 The RuPaul’s Drag Race winPride Network of Central Ohio Mary Nolan (with Ashley a kid-friendly event.

3p-5p; Akron Film+Pride: We Were ner brings her comedy show host an interactive conversa- O’Shea, Cherry Poppins and $15.

Here @ Nightlight Cinema, to the gayborhood. 8p and tion about health concerns in Mitzie Peterbilt) vs. Team Pot30 S High St, Akron, 44308; 11p; $35-$75.

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may 2015

tymouth (with Nikki Stone, Bianna Reyonce and Sami Sparxx). Diamond Hunter hosts. 8p; ticket info TBA. FRIDAY, MAY 29 SUNDAY, JUNE 1 Seventh Annual TransOhio Trans & Ally Symposium @ OSU Multicultural Center, Ohio Union, Suite 100, 1739 North High St, Columbus, Ohio 43210; 614.441.8167; FB: TransOhio: The weekend includes workshops on the entire spectrum of issues faced by transgender people.

Ticket info TBA.

MONDAY, MAY 18 Gay Literature Group of Cincinnati @ Clifton United Methodist Church, 3416 Clifton Ave, Cincinnati, 45220; FB: Gay Literature Group of Greater Cincinnati: This month’s selection: Fairyland: A Memoir of My Father

by Alysia Abbott. It’s about the author’s childhood growing up with a single, bisexual dad in San Francisco.

SUNDAY, MAY 24 Gay Bingo for GLSEN Greater Cincinnati @ The Cabaret, 1122 Walnut St, Cincinnati, 45211; 866.934.9119; glsen.org/chapters/cincinnati: Brooklyn Steele-Tate and the Imperial Sovereign Queen City Court of the Buckeye Empire, those charity-loving drag queens, host a bingo-night fundraiser for the LGBTQ youth group. 7p.

CINCINNATI / SOUTHWEST

SATURDAY, MAY 2 Her HRC Cincinnati: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun! @ Below Zero Lounge, 1120 Walnut St, Cincinnati, 45202; FB: Greater Cincinnati HRC: The women’s event includes a 1980s revue featuring the Equalettes. 7p; $15 ($10 in advance).

THURSDAY, MAY 6 Before You Say I Do: Economic Impact of Marriage for Same-Sex Couples @ Holiday Inn, 3855 Hauck Rd, Cincinnati, 45241; 513.646.4468; equalityohio.org: Equality Ohio Executive Director Elyzabeth Holford and Elizabeth Eden, CEO of Diastole Wealth Management, discuss the economic impact of marriage equality for same-sex couples. 7p; free.

FRIDAY, MAY 1 SATURDAY, MAY 2 Dayton Bizarre @ the Oregon District, 5th Street and S Jefferson, Dayton, 45402; FB: Dayton Bizarre: The new event on the first weekend of every month is “part street fair, part art exhibit and part sideshow,” according to organizers. 5p-10p Friday and noon-5p Saturday.

SUNDAY, MAY 3 MONDAY, MAY 4 Miss Masque Newcomer @ Masque, 20 N Jefferson St, SUNDAY, MAY 10 Dayton, 45402; Miami University Lavender Graduation @ Miami Univer- 937.228.2582; sity Sesquicentennial Chapel, clubmasque.com: ContestE Spring and S Maple, Oxford, ants will be judged on presentation, creative evening 45056; 513.529.6504; miamioh.edu/glbtq: The annual wear, question and talent.

Performances by Nikita Diaceremony to honor LGBTQ graduates will be followed by mond, Tasha Salad, Alexan-

We want to get all the LGBT events around Ohio in every month. Make sure to send us yours!

Indigo Girls April 19

a reception in the Shriver Center Heritage Room. Noon1p (reception 1p-3p).

The Rubi Girls @ Love Big April 26

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Fred and Ginger @ Stranahan Theater, 4645 Heatherdowns Blvd, Toledo, 43614; 419.246.8000; toledosymphony.com: BroadTUESDAY, MAY 5 way veterans Kirby Ward SUNDAY, MAY 10 Wicked @ the Schuster and Joan Hess join the Center, 1 W 2nd St, Day- Toledo Symphony for an evening of dancing and ton, 45402; romancing to standards 937.228.7591; victofrom the 1930s and ’40s. riatheatre.com: The Broadway presentation is 8p; $42-$66. back by popular demand.

There also are shows MONDAY, MAY 4 4 Girls 4 @ Valentine from Tuesday, May 12Sunday, May 17. 8p (with Theatre, 400 N. Superior St, Toledo, 43604; earlier shows on weekends as well); $43-$127. 419.242.2787; valentinetheatre.com: Four musical giants - MauSUNDAY, MAY 17 Fleurs et Vin @ Welcome reen McGovern, (“The Morning After”), Donna Park, 1801 S Edwin C McKechnie (A Chorus Moses Blvd, Dayton, Line), Andrea McArdle 45417; 937.461.2437, (Annie) and Faith Prince x2029; fleursetvin.com: (Guys & Dolls) perform a More than 300 wines, food from more than 20 night of showtunes. local restaurants, a beer 7:30p; $48-$68. garden, live music by JT Fedrick and the Sax THURSDAY, MAY 7 Drag Queen Karaoke @ Groove, live and silent auctions - and all of the Mojo, 115 N Erie St, Toledo, 43604; proceeds benefit AIDS 567.315.8333; mojobarResource Center Ohio.

1p; $70 ($75 if available toledo.com: Stacy Layne Matthews hosts on the at the gate). first Thursday of every month. 8p-midnight.

FRIDAY, MAY 22 SATURDAY, MAY 23 Dena Cass Victory Party FRIDAY, MAY 8 Weekend @ MJ’s on Jef- Screening: The Mask ferson, 20 N Jefferson St, You Live In @ Toledo School for the Arts, 333 Dayton, 45402; 937.223.3259; mjsonjef- 14th St, Toledo, Ohio 43604; 419.246.8732; ferson.com: Dena is headed to the All Ameri- ts4arts.org: This movie examines high suicide can Goddess pageant. rates, substance abuse, Another benefit is planned for Wednesday, crime rates and other troubling statistics that May 27. 11p; $5 ($7 for affect American boys. under 21).

Among its topics: how gender stereotypes hurt boys and men. 7p. dria Bellterra, Mari Jane, Amaya Sexton and more.

Prelims are Sunday, and finals are Monday.

TOLEDO / NORTHWEST

SATURDAY, MAY 2 KeyBank Pops: Shall We Dance? The Magic of outlookohio.com

THURSDAY, MAY 21 Third Thursday Loop @ Downtown and UpTown, Toledo, 43604; 419.254.ARTS; acgt.org: The Art Walk and Gallery Loop have been combined into a new program that allows people to explore Downtown Toledo’s cultural institutions and businesses.

5:30p-9p.

OHIO LGBT NIGHTLIFE ROUNDUP BARS & CLUBS Akron

Adams Street 77 N Adams St Akron, Ohio 44305 330.434.9794 adamsstreetbar.com FB: Adams Street Bar Cocktails 1009 S Main St Akron, Ohio 44311 330.376.2625 FB: Cocktails Akron

Interbelt 70 N Howard St Akron, Ohio 44310 330.253.5700 interbelt.com FB: Interbelt Nite Club Square Night Club 820 W Market St Akron, Ohio 44310 330.374.9661 squarenightclub.com FB: Square Nightclub Tear-Ez 360 S Main St Akron, Ohio 44311 330.376.0011 tear-ez.com Canton

Crew 304 Cherry Ave NE Canton, Ohio 44702 330.575.5548 FB: Crew Canton Studio 704 704 4th St SW Canton, Ohio 44702 330.453.1220 Cincinnati

Bar 32 701 Bakewell St Covington, Ky 41011 859.431.7011 bar32covky.com FB: Bar 32 Cov KY

Below Zero Lounge 1120 Walnut St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.421.9376 belowzerolounge.com FB: Below Zero Lounge

The Dock 603 Pete Rose Way Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.241.5623 FB: The Dock Complex Home Base Tavern 2401 Vine St Cincinnati, Ohio 45219 513.721.1212 FB: HBT Pride

Leather Stallion 2205 St Clair Ave NE Cleveland, Ohio 44114 216.589.8588 leatherstallion.com FB: The Stallion Leather Stallion Saloon Mean Bull / Aura 1313 E 26th St Cleveland, Ohio 44114 216.812.3330 meanbull.com FB: Mean Bull Cleveland

Main Event 835 Main St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.421.1294 Paradise Inn FB: Main Event 4488 State Rd Cleveland, Ohio 44109 Old Street Saloon 216.741.9819 13 Old St FB: Paradise Inn Monroe, Ohio 45050 513.539.9183 Twist oldstreetbar.com 11633 Clifton Blvd FB: Old Street Saloon Cleveland, Ohio 44102 216.221.2333 On Broadway FB: Twist Sc 817 Broadway St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 Vibe 513.421.2555 11633 Lorain Ave FB: On Broadway Bar Cleveland, Ohio 44111 216.476.1970 Rosie’s Tavern vibecleveland.com 643 Bakewell St FB: Vibe Bar + Patio Covington, Ky 41011 859.291.9707 Columbus rosiestavernnky.com FB: Rosie’s Tavern AWOL 49 Parsons Ave Shooters Columbus, Ohio 927 Race St 43215 Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 614.621.8779 513.381.9900 awolbar.com FB: Shooters Bar FB: Awol Bar Simon Says 428 Walnut St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.381.7577 Cleveland

Bonkers 36091 Vine St, Eastlake, 44095 440.942.1959 FB: Bonkers

Cocktails 9208 Detroit Ave Cleveland, Ohio 44102 216.961.3115 FB: Cocktails Cleveland

The Hawk 11217 Detroit Ave The Cabaret Cleveland, Ohio 1122 Walnut St 44102 Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 216.521.5443 513.202.4052 thehawkbar.com cabaretcincinnati.com FB: The Hawk FB: The Cabaret

Axis 775 N High St Columbus, Ohio 43215 614.291.4008 axisonhigh.com FB: Axis

Cavan Irish Pub 1409 S High St Columbus, Ohio 43207 614.725.5502 cavanirishpub.com FB: Cavan Irish Pub Club 20 20 E Duncan St Columbus, Ohio 43202 614.261.9111 FB: Club 20

Club Diversity 863 S High St Columbus, Ohio 43206 614.224.4050

MJ’s on Jefferson 20 N Jefferson St Dayton, Ohio 45402 Exile 937.223.3259 893 N 4th St mjsonjefferson.com Columbus, Ohio 43201 FB: MJ’s on Jefferson 614.299.0069 exilebar.com Right Corner FB: Exile 105 E 3rd St Dayton, Ohio 45402 Level Dining 937.228.2033 Lounge FB: Right Corner 700 N High St Columbus, Ohio 43215 Sparky’s Lounge 614.754.7111 822 Watertower Lane levelcolumbus.com West Carrollton, Ohio FB: Level Dining 45449 Lounge 937.859.1062 FB: Sparky’s Lounge Slammers 202 E Long St Stage Door Columbus, Ohio 43215 44 N Jefferson St 614.221.8880 Dayton, Ohio 45402 FB: Slammers 937.223.7418 FB: The Stage Door Southbend Tavern Lima 126 E Moler St Columbus, Ohio 43207 Somewhere 614.444.3386 804 W North St FB: Southbend Tavern Lima, Ohio 45801 419.227.7288 The Toolbox somewherelima.com Saloon FB: Somewhere 744 Frebis Ave Columbus, Ohio 43206 Mansfield 614.670.8113 FB: The Toolbox Saloon Sami’s 178 Wayne St Tremont Lounge Mansfield, Ohio 44902 708 S High St 419.522.1500 Columbus, Ohio 43206 FB: Sami’s Bar 614.444.2041 FB: Tremont Lounge Sandusky clubdiversity.biz FB: Club Diversity

Union Café 782 N High St Columbus, Ohio 43215 614.421.2233 unioncafe.com FB: Union Cafe Wall Street Night Club 144 N Wall St Columbus, Ohio 43215 614.464.2800 wallstreetnightclubandshowbar.com Dayton

Argos 301 Mabel St Dayton, Ohio 45403 937.252.2976 Masque 20 N Jefferson St Dayton, Ohio 45402 937.228.2582 clubmasque.com FB: Masque

Crowbar 206 W Market St Sandusky, Ohio 44870 419.624.0109 sanduskycrowbar.com FB: Sandusky Crowbar Springfield

Diesel Bar & Nightclub 1914 Edwards Ave Springfield, Ohio 45503 937.324.0383 FB: Diesel Bar & Nightclub Toledo

Boobie Trap 5082 Douglas Rd Toledo, Ohio 43613 419.690.4115 FB: Boobie-Trap Bretz 2012 Adams St Toledo, Ohio 43604

What’s your experience with Cleveland police? Take a survey: surveymonkey.com/s/GKTCX5B.

419.243.1900 FB: Bretz Nightclub

Legends Showclub 117 N Erie St Toledo, Ohio 43604 567.315.8333 legendsbartoledo.com FB: Legends Showclub Toledo Mojo 115 N Erie St Toledo, Ohio 43604 567.315.8333 mojobartoledo.com FB: Mojo’s R-House 5534 Secor Rd Toledo, Ohio 43623 419.474.2929 FB: Rhouse Bar Warren

Funky Skunk NiteClub 143 E Market St Warren, Ohio 44481 FB: Funky Skunk NiteClub Youngstown

Utopia Video Night Club 876 E Midlothian Blvd Youngstown, Ohio 44502 330.781.9000 FB: Utopia Youngstown BATHS

Akron Steam and Sauna 41 S Case Ave Akron, Ohio 44305 330.252.2791 akronsteamandsauna.com

Club Columbus 795 W 5th Ave Columbus, Ohio 43212 614.291.0049 the-clubs.com Flex 2600 Hamilton Ave, Cleveland, Ohio 44114 216.812.3304 flexspas.com GET LISTED! Update/add listing: erin@outlookmedia.com. may 2015

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savage love

by Dan Savage

Angry Girls

I consider myself a straight guy - but for the last four years, I’ve been having an affair with “Connie,” a trans girl I met online. It was just casual at first, but over time we developed a deeper personal relationship but kept it hidden. At some point, I figured out she was in love with me. I love her too, but I don’t think I am “in love” with her. Several weeks ago, I went on a couple of dates with a girl I met on Match.com.

The new girl posted about our dates on Facebook, Connie saw it and was upset, and then Connie outed me to the new girl. The new girl and I weren’t dating anymore, but it still was a betrayal that Connie told her - told anyone - about our relationship and my kink. Right now, I can’t look at or speak to Connie, but her friends tell me that she is despondent. I can’t get past my anger. I’d like to keep her as a friend, but can I trust her? She reached out to me recently, but I told her to just leave me alone.

- Secret Telling Unnerves Nice Guy

Angry Bee by Joe Newton

“Right out the gate, STUNG has to declare his heterosexuality,” said Bailey Jay, an AVN Award-winning trans porn performer, writer, prolific (and hilarious) tweeter and cohost of The Jim Norton Show on Vice.com. “Unless he’s trying to say that trans women are men or that he’d be mortified to be mistaken for a gay person, then emphasizing ‘straight’ is unnecessary.”

“because trans women are an embarrassment and Connie should know enough to keep quiet.”

“The term ‘kink’ stuck out as well,” Jay added. “Sex with a trans woman can still be vanilla. I know lots of trans chicks who are a total bore in bed - so while something new can be exciting, sex with trans women is not innately kinky because of our bodies.”

“And I don’t think STUNG is a bad guy,” said Jay. “His attitude toward trans women was shaped by a culture that treats trans women as either fetishes or punch lines. I am a transgender woman, and I have my own internalized transphobia that I’ve had to navigate around. So while I can dissect and analyze STUNG, I can hardly vilify him.”

So you treated Connie like she was an embarrassing secret for four long years, STUNG, and that caused her pain. You caused her pain. Then you go on a couple dates with another woman a cis woman - and it’s instantly all over Facebook. Connie was Also unnecessary: that “but” after “I consider myself a straight understandably upset, and not just by the fact that you were guy.” Guys who desire and fuck women exclusively are straight, seeing someone else. All the hurt and anger that built up over the last four years - hurt at the way you treated her, anger with trans women are women, so no need to drop a “but” before telling us you’ve been sleeping with a woman who happens to herself for putting up with it - overwhelmed her, and she lashed out. Connie isn’t a bad person, she was just angry and upset. be trans.

Vocabulary lesson’s over, STUNG. Now the advice…

So what do I think you should do about Connie? You should call “STUNG says he feels betrayed by Connie blabbing about their her and apologize. You should tell her that you treated her badly and you can understand why she lashed out. And you should relationship,” said Jay, “but it sounds less like a betrayal and more like embarrassment. The whole tone of his letter seems to tell her that, while you aren’t “in love” with her, you do love her.

Then you should tell her you’re open to meeting up and talking imply that it’s a given that being with a trans woman is inthings out. nately shameful. But take out all of the conditioned negative associations that some have with trans people, and what are And what does Jay think you should do going forward? “I think you left with? At worst, we have a young lady who got jealous STUNG should try to see every woman he sleeps with as fully and acted immaturely.” human, regardless of their genitals.” Follow Bailey Jay on Twitter @BaileyJayTweets.

Let’s pause for a moment to think about why Connie behaved immaturely and tried to screw up your (already DOA) relationship with the new girl.

“STUNG seems to feel that it’s a given that Connie should know better than to talk openly about their relationship,” said Jay, 52

may 2015

You can email Dan Savage at mail@savagelove.net, follow him on Twitter at @fakedansavage or listen to his weekly podcast, Savage Lovecast, every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Savage Love appears every month in Outlook and every week at outlookohio.com.

On the Lovecast, Slate writer LV Anderson on why we don’t have better condoms: savagelovecast.com.

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the divine life Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

by Debé

YouÊre about to reap the rewards for your hard work, but things are moving a little too fast to suit your bullish nature. Try to stay flexible (yeah, right).

Your SO is your ally and can help. If youÊre single, listen to your BFF. ThatÊs what friends are for, right?

Outspoken Taureans: George Takei, Ma Rainey, Leslie Jordan

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

elation by month’s end, so try and rest up when you can. All that insight can be exhausting.

Mercury goes retrograde in Gemini on Capricorn the 18th, making you extra charismatic.

An old friend reappears, but are they truly (December 22 - January 19) a friend or a foe with a pretty smile? A It seems you’d rather play footsies than stimulating month for sure, but tread care- work this month. Give in to your inner hefully. donist and enjoy. Your SO or new spring fling will certainly appreciate it, you’ll be more relaxed, and the work will be waiting Cancer for you. It always is.

(June 21 - July 22) Ka-ching! This is a good money-making month for you, with rewards and promotions possible. You’ll work hard, but the payoff’s worth it. Make time to squeeze a new friend in if he or she or they catch your fancy.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

A passionate month awaits you. You may butt heads with your lover, but if you hang in there that passion could spark things in a good way. Bumps in the road, and the bump and grind, bring lovely new revelations. Totally worth it.

Love is in the air, whether you’re stalking a Pisces new playmate or renewing the zing with (February 19 - March 20) your current conquest. Resolve some finances and maybe spend some moolah You are determined this month and that on your den. Gotta have nice digs, right? take-charge attitude is working for you.

You are knocking out your to-do list. You’ll have a tendency to overdo it, but save Virgo some of that energy for the bedroom, (August 23 - September 22) because you are a sexy beast this month!

You’ve struggled with changes in relationships, but it’s time to cut loose. You’re restAries less, and the timing is right to move out, (March 21 - April 19) move on or move up. Don’t hold back.

Strike while the iron - and you - are hot!

Your life is changing in dramatic ways.

Your aggressive streak brings opportunity knocking at work, but try that crap with Libra your SO and you’re likely to get knocked (September 23 - October 22) upside the head. Lock lips instead of New partnerships and fresh ideas swirl horns at home. around you. You’ll find those new points of view intriguing and a little kinky. Is it time to Handy Tip trade in something, or someone, for a When the tips of the new model? Decisions, decisions... fingers are more squared off, it’s an Scorpio indication that the (October 23 - November 21) person likes to get The full moon in Scorpio has you listening his, her or their to your intuition and focusing that infahands dirty. They mous intensity. Luckily you’d rather be a like to be physically lover than a fighter this month, because I engaged and pity the fool who pisses you off. hands-on.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Debe is a palmist, intuitive adviser and metaphysical teacher in Columbus. She is available for personal readings, parties, events and workshops. For more inYou are crazy busy, but beware of spinning your wheels on things that don’t really formation, visit thepassionatepalmist.com. Look for matter. You are headed for a bit of a rev- her horoscopes every month in Outlook. outlookohio.com

Do you think she heard that tree fall?

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If you want to share your rants, raves or observations, join the Squad!

Contact Erin McCalla: 614.268.8525 x2

Tyler Cruz

aka Mighty Mouse New Outlook Account Exec Tyler’s Top 5 Interests 5. Love the Outdoors 4. Activism 3. Soccer and Baseball 2. Concerts 1. Movies

Paula Ross

aka Saturday Night Fever New Outlook Account Exec

Top 5 Favorite things I love to do: 5. Cook 4. Watch Movies 3. Be Outdoors 2. Try New Restaurants 1. Spend Time With Grandchildren May 11 Topic: “Hello, Outlook Readers! I’m Paula!”

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Sign of the Times Across

V V V

This month’s blog topic: Why you should check out Akron.

1 Race site in Auden’s land 6 Express pleasure orally 10 Rat Bohemia author Schulman 15 Dutch resort isle 16 Painter Bonheur 17 Board material 18 What they call discrimination in Indiana 21 Test the weight of 22 ‘’There ___ be a law!’’ (anti-gay motto of Indiana?)

23 Coldcock 24 Gasteyer of SNL 25 While you’re doing it 27 Arkansas Gov. Hutchinson 28 Layer of some balls 30 Journalist Ted 32 River of Auden’s land 33 Pioneer automaker 37 Twenty Questions turn 38 With 56-Across, sign in the window of any place that discriminates, per SNL 41 Start to pea?

44 Stonewall Jackson, and others 45 Montagues and Capulets, e.g.

49 Assholes 50 Begins to take notice 51 __ Enchanted

19 Burial site of Macbeth 20 Place for pool players’ balls 25 ___ The Woods 26 Deli request 29 Take into the body 31 Did not wait to exhale?

33 R.E.M.’s “The ___ Love” 34 Target of discrimination in Indiana 35 Buck’s mates 36 George Takei’s role on Star Trek 39 Apr. 15 letters 40 Cooking meas.

41 Package pouch 42 Beach of Bette’s home V state V Down V Down 43 AIDS: Profile of an Epidemic narrator 1 Swank, in a 2009 flick 46 Aging first mate, per2 Peacock, e.g.

3 Ingredient in dye or fer- haps 47 She loved Franklin and tilizer Lorena 4 Memorial column 48 Tin fish 5 The Advocate, briefly 53 In the sack 6 Tile surrounder 54 Cold War rival of the 7 Type of trade 8 Question about a cross- USA 57 Creator of Sal Mineo’s dresser, perhaps Exodus character 9 1993 treaty acronym 58 Letter enc.

10 Get a load of 59 “The doctor ___” 11 City north of Des 60 Whoopi and others in Moines Sister Act 12 Bureaucratic tangle 61 Follies costume de13 Makes moist or hard 14 Pew books at Metropol- signer 62 Rank Mauresmo, e.g. itan Community Church

52 Roundup rope 54 Moo juice source 55 Says, “Let’s do it!”

56 See 38-Across 63 McCullers’ Ballad of the ___ Cafe 64 Cup material 65 Signs of using a rubber?

66 Singer Di Franco 67 Islands instrument 68 Way to get a bone up?

69 Creepy Chaney 70 Former Russian orbiter 71 Felt in one’s bones 72 Three of Napoli

Be looking for these two go-getters to be hitting you up for business! :)

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