2016-07-01 Outlook Ohio Magazine

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The Voice of Ohio’s LGBT and Ally Community

vol 21 • issue 2

july 2016

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Orlando...

vol 21 • #02

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you are here snapshot qmunity

polisigh: LGBT Republicans Orlando: guns and anger Orlando: Latin Night

Orlando: out and proud

Orlando: honoring our dead IMHO: as young as we feel dyke like me: post-Pride

luxe for less: summer edition creative class: Martin Wong Youngstown Pride July 16

Mansfield Pride: July 22-23

They could have been at Axis in Columbus, Below Zero in Cincinnati, Bounce in Cleveland, Interbelt in Akron, Masque in Dayton, Bretz in Toledo, Utopia in Youngstown, Sami’s in Mansfield or Somewhere in Lima.

Until you couldn’t bear to picture what came next.

Our bars are our comfortable spaces. Our community centers. Our clubhouses.

Or anywhere.

When I first came out in 1998, I met a guy for drinks and he The mass murder of 49 people told me how he didn’t go out on June 12 at Pulse nightclub often but sometimes he felt in Orlando has affected us all like a teabag and just needed to “steep in gayness” for a profoundly. while.

Who didn’t, upon hearing the news, know exactly what Pulse We live in a world where looked like, what it sounded straight and cisgender are the like, what it felt like that default settings. Coworkers assume we’re single because Saturday night before hate invaded? we don’t feel comfortable putting a photo of our boyfriends Our LGBT bars have a comon our desks. Moms buy us fortable sameness about pretty dresses when we’re not them, don’t they? Dark interi- pretty dresses-kinds-of-girls.

We’re addressed by the wrong ors, colored lights, backlit bars, throbbing music, strong pronouns and ordered to use drinks, fog machines. Whether the wrong restrooms. you’re a regular or haven’t People went to Pulse that been out in ages, you could

snapshot

Saturday to be happy, to feel free, to be themselves around others who didn’t care if they danced with another girl or wanted to be addressed by a name that wasn’t on their birth certificate or sounded gay when they laughed.

They went to Pulse to be with their friends. They went to Pulse because it was Latin night and they were LGBT and Latin@ and that feeling of being in a happy, freeing space was doubled.

Every single one of them should still be here. Every single one of the 53 people injured should not have to be suffering the physical pain and emotional torture they’re now enduring.

And none of us should have to mourn more LGBT lives lost as the result of hate.

Bob Vitale, Associate Publisher

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savage love

HEADQUARTERS Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, Ste G, Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525 phone / 614.261.8200 fax SALES Chad Frye / cfrye@outlookmedia.com Mike Moffo / mike@outlookmedia.com Kurt Mueller / kurt@outlookmedia.com Lena Smith-Buyak/lena@outlookmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media - 212.242.6863 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Bob Vitale / bvitale@outlookmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Leonard Ballosh, James Blackmon, Brooke Cartus, Debé, Joel Diaz, Rachel Duthie, Ryan Harris, Paige Johnson, Dan Savage, Regina Sewell, Oskar Stine, Bob Vitale, MIckey Weems ART DIRECTOR Christopher Hayes / art@outlookmedia.com

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divine life

on the cover:

KEVVO

Youngstown Cleveland

We are blessed this month to be working with talented illustrationist Kevvo. I think our collaboration produced both a cover and a memorial that captures the severity of Orlando with the stark realization it could have been any one of us. Check out more of Kevvo’s work at, you guessed it, kevvo.com.

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picture the scene in Orlando.

PUBLISHER Christopher Hayes

next month: the college issue july 2016

Cincinnati

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Toledo outlookohio.com

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qmunity

Equality Ohio Promotes Alana Jochum with an LGBT civil rights organization in India.

Alana Jochum, who has been leading Equality Ohio for the past year, was promoted to the position of executive director in June by the boards of the statewide LGBT civil rights group and its political arm.

“I’ve led this team since July,” she said.

“They’re the best in the country, and we’re going to bring Ohio into the 21st century.”

Jochum joined Equality Ohio in 2014 as its director in Northeast Ohio. She earned bachelor’s degrees from Baldwin Wallace University in Berea and a law degree from Cleveland State University’s Cleveland Marshall College of Law. She has volunteered for the Human Rights Campaign and also

She has worked for the United Way of Greater Cleveland and Squire Patton Boggs, a Cleveland law firm.

“What makes me most proud each day ... is when I see LGBTQ and allied Ohioans feel empowered to share their stories, stand up for their rights and become activists,” she told Outlook in February. “It is thrilling. It motivates me to keep doing the work.”

Lakewood Bans Bias Against LGBT People

Lakewood, the Cleveland suburb considered one of the most LGBT-friendly communities in Ohio, now has laws to match its reputation.

City Council members voted unanimously on June 20 to add gender identity and sexual orientation to local anti-discrimination laws covering employment, housing and public accommodations.

“This ordinance sends a clear message once and for

all that Lakewood is a welcoming place where everyone is a part of the community,” Councilman Dan O’Malley said, according to The Plain Dealer.

Lakewood is the 15th city in Ohio to add LGBT identities to its local anti-discrimination laws. State laws in Ohio

do not include LGBT people.

A 16th city will consider expanding its anti-discrimination laws in July. Openly gay Newark Councilman Jeremy Blake has introduced an ordinance for his city, and it was endorsed by a council committee on June 13, the day after the mass murder at Orlando’s Pulse nightclub.

The full council will consider the proposal on Tuesday, July 5. Newark is 40 miles east of Columbus.

Cincinnati Library Trustees Deny Transgender Coverage Trustees of the Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County refused last month to add transition-related health coverage to employee insurance plans.

Openly gay Cincinnati Councilman Chris Seelbach posted a video to Facebook immediately after the meeting criticizing trustees “who clearly are not on the right side of history.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” Rachel Dovel told the seven-member board after its unanimous vote on June 14.

Seelbach said he won’t visit Hamilton County libraries until the decision is overturned, and marriage-equality hero Jim Obergefell moved a planned book signing on June 18 for his newly released Love Wins.

Dovel, a 10-year library employee who is transgender, had asked trustees to reconsider their policies after being denied coverage for genderconfirmation surgery. Cincinnati’s city government, in contrast, covers transition-related care.

Wrong Side of History

“If we had people where the bullets were going in the opposite direction, right smack between the eyes of this maniac, that would’ve been a beautiful, beautiful sight, folks.”

(The NRA said guns are not a good idea in places where people are drinking.)

-Donald Trump

Two days after the mass murder of 49 people in Orlando, a new national report on violence against LGBT people found hate violence up 20 percent last year.

The annual report from the National Coalition of AntiViolence Programs, which includes Ohio’s Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization, wondered openly why.

“From Stonewall to Laramie and now Orlando, we’ve seen too many examples of how the struggle to live freely, openly and without fear has been met by violence. We have to stand together, be proud together.”

- Hillary Clinton

reports of hate violence in 2015.

It’s a term that includes everything from verbal harassment and discrimination to physical assault, sexual violence and

But the coalition said its report does provide a glimpse into who is affected most by hate-motivated violence against the LGBTQ community:

Hate violence

rose 20%

againsT LGBT people

The answer: probably both. The coalition documented 1,253 july 2016

Right Side of History

Trans Women of Color Are Community’s Most Targeted People, Report Confirms

“We struggled to understand the cause of this seeming increase in violence,” the report said. “Was it a backlash from increased rights and visibility? Was it a sign that reporting on violence against LGBTQ people was becoming more common and accurate?”

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“I can’t in good will step inside a library knowing that the system is being run by people who do not reflect Hamilton County,” Seelbach said.

last year

murder.

It’s not an exhaustive report on anti-LGBT violence. It includes information from 13 groups in just 11 states: Arizona, California, Colorado, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, New York, Ohio, Texas and Vermont.

We remember Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49... Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24...

• Two-thirds of homicide victims were transgender or gender nonconforming. More than half of the victims were transgender women of color.

• Almost 80 percent of the homicide victims were younger than 36.

• Survivors of harassment, discrimination, assault and other non-fatal acts most often identified as gay.

Perpretrators were most often between the ages of 19 and 39, male, straight and white. More than 60 percent of survivors knew their perpetrator. outlookohio.com

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polisigh

TALE OF TWO PARTIES LGBT Republicans Hopeful the GOP Is Evolving

by Leonard Ballosh

You’d rarely put LGBT and Republican in one sentence without throwing an anti- in front of one of them.

But two LGBT Republicans running this year

“Candidates like Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio have it wrong,” he said.

Brown supported Ohio Gov. John Kasich in the Republican presidential primaries but has sidestepped questions about whether he will support likely GOP nominee Donald Trump.

Whitney Smith, a Republican from Columbus who is running in a district that stretches from German Village to the University District and from Bexley to Franklinton, said she doesn’t embrace Republican orthodoxy on LGBT issues, either.

Tim Brown for the Ohio House of Representatives hope to bridge the gap for voters between sexual orientations and political orientations that are more commonly in conflict.

And when it comes to LGBT issues, they say they’re firmly on our side instead of with a GOP that still officially opposes marriage equality and nondiscrimination laws that would protect LGBT Americans from losing their jobs and homes.

“We all have an obligation to stand up,” said Tim Brown, a Republican from Bowling Green who is seeking a third term in the Ohio House from a district that covers all of Northwest Ohio’s Wood County.

Brown is the first openly gay Republican ever elected to the Ohio General Assembly.

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She is challenging Democrat Kristin Boggs, who was appointed to the seat this year by a panel of House Democrats. Green Party candidate Constance Gadell-Newton is in the race as well.

“I really don’t identify with one specific party on every issue,” said Smith, who identifies as pansexual but accepts the label of bisexual.

“I am a woman. I am pansexual. I am a lot of things before I am Republican.”

She would be the first openly bisexual or pansexual state lawmaker in Ohio.

Smith also supported Kasich in the primaries but has said she won’t vote for Trump in the general election. She hasn’t announced a presidential choice.

Neither candidate plans to be in Quicken Loans Arena when the Republican National Convention opens in Cleveland on July 18.

Brown said he will be in Cleveland for an Equality Ohio roundtable discussion, but he doesn’t plan to take part in the official Republican gathering.

Brown likens being affliated with the Republican Party as an LGBT person to being in a marriage.

Brown was outed in the comments section of a political blog as he considered a run for Congress in 2007, but he said he looked at that episode as “an opportunity to embrace” his identity publicly.

Smith has openly discussed her sexual orien-

“I describe it as having a spouse or a significant other,” he said. “You can’t agree on every issue.”

Smith said she thinks the party is changing and will emerge with new leaders.

“I think the party is in flux,” she said.

“It’s been obviously ripped apart by Donald Trump.”

Whitney Smith

Although the party’s candidates and activists mostly oppose pro-LGBT measures, Brown said voters shouldn’t assume all Republicans oppose LGBT civil rights.

“People have to look at the candidates,” he said. “Sometimes the labels don’t define where the candidates are on LGBT issues.”

Brown and Smith both support House Bill 389, a Democratic measure at the Statehouse that would add gender identity and sexual orientation to Ohio’s nondiscrimination laws. It was introduced by Rep. Nickie Antonio of Lakewood, the state’s first openly gay legislator.

Both Republicans say they don’t run as LGBT candidates but don’t run away from their sexual orientation, either.

We remember Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25... Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25...

tation from the beginning. She was identified as bisexual in a June Outlook article on LGBT candidates across Ohio, and she said she accepts that label because it is one most people know. She identifies herself, though, as pansexual, which she says is based on loving a person regardless of gender.

Both see a time coming when the two parties accept and champion LGBT civil rights.

“I think everyday people embrace LGBT people,” Brown said. “And we’re going to get there over time.”

Leonard Ballosh is a summer intern with Outlook. He’s a senior at the University of Wisconsin-Platteville, studying political science, international relations and journalism. outlookohio.com

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complete the circuit

from Omar Mateen’s identity. He confused the hell out of commentators, who didn’t understand how he, a Muslim man, could have a wife, a kid and a Grindr account.

So they claimed he was “allegedly” Gay. “Who was the real Omar Mateen?” they asked.

Girl, please.

Most of us in the LGBT community are not surprised by his double life, any more than we are shocked if a virulent homophobe is caught blowing his male coworker after happy hour, playing footsie with an undercover officer in an airport bathroom, making out with a fellow elder while on their two-year Mormon mission or sending dick pics to a handsome Catholic priest who returns the favor.

BEAUTY

by Mickey Weems On Sunday, June 12, in Orlando, 49 people were killed and 53 were injured by Omar Mateen inside Pulse, an LGBT dance club.

Second, those same enthusiasts will consistently use the Good Guys With Guns argument to defend ownership of assault weapons - two separate issues that they seem incapable of distinguishing.

Because Latinos cannot be LGBT?

Unlike Mateen, Sessions is not a lone wolf. Nearly all of his fellow homophobes in Congress lamented the loss of life at Pulse but refused to name the community that was We’ve been living long enough with Third, they say all those people died Mateen’s target. They were Humanmass shootings that we recognize because LGBT people are too wimpy ity’s Champions but not ours, scrubcertain features in American men and too liberal to become Good Guys bing the Queer blood off the who commit them. They tend to mis- With Guns, despite plenty of evimassacre so that it became An treat women who are close to them, dence that such a claim is bullshit. Attack On All Of Us (excluding have an obsession with guns and Muslims, of course). are repulsed by men with same-sex I am getting tired of gun-obsessed orientation. people badmouthing the LGBT com- Bullshit From Paranoid Men munity to further their cause. But Potential mass murderers can be Mateen fit the bill. Unfortunately, so what they’ve said is not the worst difficult to detect, precisely because do plenty of other guys who should that’s out there. It is just the tip of a the signs that distinguish them are never be allowed near a firearm but massive bullshit iceberg concerning common among men who identify under current law are permitted to terrorism and the Orlando Massacre. as Straight. own guns, including weapons of war.

And one of the most pervasive markBullshit From ers for Straight masculinity is a Political Leaders Immediately after the shooting, so- Not all terrorists carry weapons. preference for entertainment that cial media were flooded with posts Some do their work behind the portrays violence on a massive scale about how sensible gun laws do no scenes in the halls of government. to be consumed in the form of good and how Good Guys With Guns movies, TV shows, men’s team could have saved the day inside U.S. Rep. Pete Sessions of Texas is a sports, MMA, music and video Pulse. perfect example. He boldly refused to games. Little wonder, then, that let logic get in his way as he erased there is a robust market for assault From my research on the Orlando our LGBT identity from the site of the weapons designed for battlefield Massacre, three things have Orlando Massacre. slaughter. emerged. First, Mateen faced Good Guys With Guns from the moment he He called Pulse “a young person’s The National Rifle Association enopened fire until they drove him to nightclub.” “There were some [LGBT courages violent men to fulfill their seek refuge in a bathroom, but gun people] there, but it was mostly Lati- deepest fantasies of carnage by proenthusiasts don’t care. nos,” he said. viding them with the necessary 12

july 2016

tools. It has undermined every effort to regulate gun production, distribution and ownership, even to the point of protecting the right of terror suspects to buy firearms and forbidding government health officials from doing research on gun violence.

Firearms manufacturers have littered the country with millions of assault weapons for violent men to play with. Factories continue to produce and sell them to just about anyone who wants them, then claim no responsibility when massacres happen.

I know men who demand access to such weapons of war. Some of them are my friends. They are all, without exception, stricken with deep paranoia that has paralyzed their ability to reason. I’ve spoken with dozens of them and have seen this for myself.

At this very moment somewhere in America, paranoid souls of the same mindset are succumbing to even more severe forms of mental illness.

We all know the biggest winners in Cleveland this month during the Republican National Convention (which has banned guns on the convention floor) will be the young, strapping Gay4Pay contingent waiting in hotel lobbies throughout Downtown to service all those happily married, God-fearing men.

In our eyes, Mateen’s story is rather common. He acted butcher-thanthou, bought some big guns, beat his wife and got upset when his son saw him mesmerized by the sight of two men kissing. He wasn’t homosexual, except when he was.

His dad said the massacre was not about Islam, and the old man was right. Before Omar Mateen died, he claimed allegiance to three radical groups that hate each other. ISIS, of course, claimed he belonged to them, but that claim is as bullshit as debating whether he had homosexual tendencies.

I spoke with a Muslim friend who No doubt a few will be making head- told me that Mateen added insult to lines soon. injury by committing murder in the name of Islam but also by doing so The Supreme Bullshit of during Ramadhan, a time especially Men Who Hate Gays But dedicated to peace.

Feel Same-Sex Desire Some media and even the FBI Muslim communities across the wanted to erase any hint of homo nation have raised money for the

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victims and their families.

But don’t expect gun-loving Islamophobes to believe any of it. The Orlando Massacre is too convenient an excuse to hate Muslims one and all, put down Gays for being weak, and stock up on more weapons.

Solutions to Bullshit?

From the Orlando Massacre have come two signs of hope.

People on the terrorist watch list might no longer be able to obtain firearms legally in the near future, and la comunidad Latina is becoming more supportive of its LGBT members. As the front page of Puerto Rico’s largest newspaper, El Nuevo Dia, said two days after the massacre, Ellos Son Nuestros Muertos (They Are Our Dead).

arguments from Bible/Qur’anquoting friends or family that endanger us all.

We must collectively bring our paranoid Second Amendment brothers back to sanity. Call them out on their madness, and let them know that they make us unsafe. Remind them that it is from the ranks of assault weapon junkies like themselves that future mass shooters will arise.

Our Heritage Contrary to the opinion of every macho fuck I’ve argued with about the Orlando Massacre, Mateen didn’t choose Pulse because we were an easy target. He knew the dance club had armed police officers on site.

He chose Pulse because that was where LGBT people were There is no solution that can stronger, sassier and fiercer prevent violent men who run than anywhere else he’d ever away from their orientation been. Pulse didn’t just offend from doing terrible things. But him. Its beauty shook him to we can make it harder. his core.

Vote for pro-gun-control candidates who are willing to shut down unlicensed sales of firearms at gun shows or even shut down gun shows altogether. If people want firearms, they should go through licensed gun shops to get them.

Vote for candidates who support a ban on the production and sale of assault weapons for civilian use, and ban all private ownership of all modern weapons of war, even if bought legally in the past.

Vote for candidates who are willing to classify dangerous religious rhetoric against the LGBT community as hate speech, and at the very least remove tax-exempt status for those houses of worship that do not comply.

And don’t put up with bullshit

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Whether you are Gay or Straight, go out and shake your ass in an LGBT space.

The Stonewall Uprising was triggered when police raided a Queer dance club, and from Stonewall has come every Pride parade, every AIDS protest, every Ellen episode, every Gay-Straight Alliance, every RuPaul’s Drag Race, every women’s music festival and every circuit party.

The dance floor is our source of power, and it is every bit as important today as a site for resistance as it was in 1969.

Mickey Weems is a writer, educator and creator of The Qualia Encyclopedia of Gay Folklife.

Email him at mickeyweems@yahoo.com. Complete the Circuit will appear again in the September issue of Outlook.

We remember Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22... Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32...

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A NIGHT TO BE

guest voices

THEMSELVES Latin Night at Pulse Was More Than a Theme Night

by Joel Diaz I grew up in Houston, born to Mexican immigrants. Despite living in this country for 36 years, my parents don’t speak English.

Once a week my mom calls me to check in and we speak in Spanish; she starts every call with, “Cómo te sientes?” which translates to, “How do you feel?”

When she called me today and asked me that question, I got choked up and couldn’t answer right away. When I finally responded I told her I was fine health-wise but emotionally I wasn’t doing too well because of everything that happened in Florida.

I went on to explain how, despite thinking I was OK, I’m really not.

What I couldn’t explain to her was that my upbringing had taught me a lot about how to keep these feelings and emotions hidden and how over the course of my life I’ve found myself alone so many times, physically and emotionally.

My heart aches for all 49 of the lives that were lost, as well as those who were injured, many of whom were Latin@ just like me. I’ve

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read each of the names of those we lost and have had to stop several times and pick back up when I could because I keep getting overwhelmed.

I keep thinking of that last night for them and placing myself there.

When I would go home to Houston to visit and even when I briefly moved back after college, I would make it a point to go to the local gay club, South Beach, for Latin Night.

I remember my first time going and being in a packed club full of gay men who looked like me and spoke Spanish. It was an amazing and liberating experience. We don’t have anything like that in Columbus, Ohio.

A lot has been said about safe spaces for LGBTQ people; I’m extremely gratefully to all of those who helped create these spaces for our community.

However, enough hasn’t been said about what safe spaces are like for Latin@ LGBTQ people.

The Latin@ LGBTQ community, like its Latin@ hetero counterpart, is not a monolith, but many of us have many shared experi-

<< A cell phone video posted on YouTube from Latin Night at Pulse Orlando on the night of the shooting.

It shows Jasmine International, the night’s headline entertainer, and Edward Sotomayor Jr., who was one of the 49 people killed.

ences through our common language and culture.

Many of us have felt like outsiders within and outside the LGBTQ community because our parents are immigrants, because we grew up speaking Spanish at home or because we have dark skin.

were going to make their family feel.

When I think about that kind of a safe space, the tears start coming and I can’t stop them.

I think about how I feel in those spaces and how free many of those innocent people must have felt sharing in that moment together.

I cry for the bliss that turned into terror.

Many of us have come out to our family only to be pushed back in the closet. Many of us have been told we’re accepted but have never really felt accepted because we’ve been discouraged from talking openly about our sexuality.

When I finished speaking to my mom today, she said, “Hay que seguir adelante los que quedamos.” Which translates to, “Those of us who are left have to keep moving forward.”

Many of us have felt the pressure to preserve the status quo and not disrupt the family harmony or go against the teachings of the church.

We do have to keep moving forward, but we also have to take time for ourselves to heal and acknowledge that safe spaces mean different things for different people.

Latin Night was more than a theme night for many of those who were at Pulse in Orlando.

It was a safe escape on the one night a week they were allowed to be their true selves in every aspect of who they were.

For many Latin@ LGBTQ people, our healing will go on for a lifetime as we continue to seek safe spaces to be our full selves.

It was a chance to dance to songs they grew up listening to, but with a boyfriend or another guy, and not feel scared or afraid of what someone was going to think or how they

Joel Diaz lives in Columbus.

This piece was originally written on Sunday, June 12, for Equality Ohio’s Equality Blog (equalityohio.org/category/ equality-blog) and is reprinted with permission.

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Outlook Magazine: Celebrating 20 years!

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insight out

photo: Emma Parker

by Regina Sewell

IN THE WAKE OF ORLANDO

We Can’t Let Fear Control Our Lives as LGBT People Boston Marathon bombers (who were not remotely affiliated with the Islamic State) and the fellow Floridian who carried out a 2014 suicide bombing in Syria (who was affiliated with a group that opposes the Islamic State).

“I tell people all the time, ‘Oh my God, it’s great to be LGBT in Orlando because it’s so welcoming and opening. And the fact that this would happen in our town has shocked us all, I think to a degree that we have even yet to kind of get our minds A former police academy classmate painted Mateen as socially around.” awkward and not liked by his peers. And although he gradu- comment at CNN.com ated from the police academy, at the time of the attack he worked as a security guard. He never achieved his goal of Most of us in the LGBT community are reeling in the aftermath becoming a police officer and was fired from his job as a of the Orlando massacre, the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. guard at a state prison soon after he was hired. history and the worst terrorism-motivated attack on American soil since 9/11.

This is significant because many perpetrators of mass shootings have histories dotted with rejection and As I write this, investigators have not deteran inability to fit in, but again, it doesn’t mined why Omar Mateen, the 29-year-old answer why he targeted an LGBT gunman who opened fire inside Pulse, nightclub. chose the popular Orlando LGBT nightclub as the site of the masWe might never learn why, but we sacre. There is speculation that do know the impact.

Mateen might have been gay, something that is culturally To us, it’s personal. When he frowned upon in his parents’ native opened fire on all of those people at Afghanistan.

Pulse, it was as if he was opening fire on all of us. Mateen was not shootThat suggests he might have been acting ing specific individuals. He was shooting out internalized homophobia, but this has people he perceived to be lesbian, gay, not been conclusively confirmed. The FBI said it bisexual and/or transgender. has found no evidence in his online history.

The unfortunate victims were simply representatives for the We do know that the Islamic State has been clear in its hatred group - representatives for all of us - whom Mateen hated. of LGBT people. It has not only advocated throwing homosexu- His message was clear: He thought LGBT people deserve als (their word) off roofs or stoning them to death, its members to die simply because of our sexual orientation or gender actually have executed a number of men and boys thought to identity. be gay and posted video online.

He saw himself acting not as an individual or part of a small Still, Mateen’s link to the terrorist group is sketchy at best and pack, but as part of a greater movement. In the wake of 9/11 therefore leaves unanswered the question of why he targeted and the more recent attacks in Paris and Brussels, not to an LGBT nightclub. In calls to police, Mateen pledged allemention all of the attacks that have happened in the Middle giance to the head of the Islamic State but also mentioned the East and Africa, it’s hard not to be alarmed.

“Those

who hate us want us to cower in fear and limit our lives.”

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In the context of the antigay executions committed in the name of Islam, Mateen’s attack on an LGBT nightclub highlights the fact that random people are not safe from terrorist attacks and that we, as LGBT people, might now be particularly at risk.

But how much at risk are we really? What are the odds of being a target of a mass shooting?

According to the Gun Violence Archive, there have been 213 deaths this year that meet a liberal definition of mass shooting. That puts the odds of being killed in a mass shooting in the United States at 0.6607 in a million.

Compare this to the odds of drowning in a bathtub: 1 in 685,000. Or the odds of dying in a car crash: 1 in 18,585.

In other words, the odds of being killed in a mass shooting in the United States - terrorist attack or otherwise - are really, really low.

There is a yoga saying that the heart opens in love and closes in fear. In the wake of this tragedy, we have to choose love love for ourselves, love for the victims and their friends and families, and love for our LGBT community.

Those who hate us want us to cower in fear and limit our lives.

They want us to disappear.

But when we open our hearts and live from love, we choose to live our lives out and proud.

We can’t let fear of the possibility of an unnamed, random attack diminish us, just as we don’t let the fear of a fatal car crash keep us from driving.

Regina Sewell is a licensed mental health counselor.

Visit reginasewell.com to ask her a question, propose a column topic, read about her approach to counseling, or check out her books and other writing. Insight Out will appear again in the August issue of Outlook.

We remember Kimberly Morris, 37... Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30...

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we remember

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Outlook Magazine: Celebrating 20 years!

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;If there was ever a moment for all of us to reflect and reaffirm our most basic beliefs that everybody counts and everybody has dignity, now is the time.

It's a good time for all of us to reflect on how we treat each other, and to insist on respect and equality for every human being.â&#x20AC;?

- President Barack Obama

We honor the lives of our LGBT brothers, sisters and allies who died in Orlando on June 12, 2016. outlookohio.com

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IMHO

GAY YEARS

Are LGBT People Youth-Obsessed?

Or Just Youthful?

by James Blackmon

In a few days I’ll turn 48. To some readers, I’ve already got one foot in the grave. To others, I’m still a whippersnapper.

Age is funny that way. Our opinions about our own age and the age of others are largely a matter of perspective. Remember how old the high school kids seemed back in grade school? How back in high school, the college kids looked like adults?

Then once you’re over 40, everyone under 25 looks like children.

People say we live in a youth-ob-

sessed culture. Considering the amount of money spent marketing products to millennials and trying to convince everyone else that they want to be millennials, I suppose it’s true.

But honestly, who wants to be 20something again? I don’t. I don’t even want to look like I did in my 20s. I look better at 48 (my black hasn’t cracked - yet) than I did at 18, and in many ways, I feel better.

High blood pressure, pre-diabetes and an arthritic back notwithstanding, I’m actually in better shape. It’s because of the lifestyle changes I made with regard to diet and exercise, but nonetheless, the end result

is I’m healthier and in better shape than ever.

Some say LGBT culture is youthcentric. Similar to the mainstream world, a lot of time and energy are spent in our community marketing products and services to younger people.

But I don’t think we are all that obsessed with youth. More accurately, we’re just youthful. It’s not that unusual to see gay men well into their 50s out tearing it up on the dance floor. Not just during Pride or on vacation, but because... well, it’s Tuesday.

I don’t believe the equivalent exists in the mainstream heterosexual world. It’s unusual to see 40-something straights at a dance club on any night of the week.

I’m sure a lot of that has to do with raising children. Even though I’m the oldest of my close straight friends with kids, I’m definitely the “youngest.” But I’m an entertainer,

and Duane and I travel whenever we was looking for the Fountain of Youth, wasn’t he? Well, according to can, and I don’t have kids. My lifestyle keeps me from feeling “old.” legend, anyway.

But being an out gay person in this world automatically comes with a certain amount of inner rebellion.

Just to exist in the world as a gay individual means you have to make a life for yourself in spite of laws and mores and attitudes that often work against you.

Historically, rebels tend to be younger. It takes a lot of energy and courage to fight the power - two things younger people in abundance. But with us, rebellion is a matter of survival. That doesn’t stop just because we’ve turned 40.

Around the world, LGBT people of all ages are fighting for their rights and their dignity. I’m pretty sure living in a constant state of rebellion keeps you young.

Outside of marketing, it seems this whole obsession with recapturing one’s youth is more about an innate human fear of getting old and dying.

Mankind has been obsessed with holding onto its youth for centuries. Ponce De Leon

Stories about the mythical Fountain of Youth have existed globally since the 5th century BCE. Today, the Fountain of Youth is packaged into 2-ounce jars and sold to a fearful public at $90 a pop. In 2015, BCC Research reported the total market for anti-aging products and services was $281 billion globally.

But to be fair, it’s not just the fear of dying. Some people look older than they feel and simply want the inside to be reflected on the outside. I get that. I color my graying eyebrows before I perform, and I hate the gray hairs on my arms and chest. (BTW, when did I get so old that my chest is almost completely gray?! Oh yeah, that’s right. I’ll be 50 in two years.)

Thing is, I don’t feel old. Isn’t 50 supposed to be old?

Actually, I just feel like a 6-year-old kid who’s really excited about his annual birthday trip to Kings Island.

I just hope my 48-year-old arthritic back can stand it

James Blackmon is a musician, actor, director and the artistic director of State of the Arts Productions in Columbus. You can follow him on Twitter @MrJamesBlackmon. IMHO will appear again in the September issue of Outlook.

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We remember Cory James Connell, 21... Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33...

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dyke like me

Summer’s Not Over Just Because Pride Is

by Brooke Cartus Ah, July in Ohio.

The weather is warm, patio season is in full swing, and everyone is taking long weekends to get the most out of our brief but radiant summer.

It’s the month of red, white and blue tank tops, sparklers, hot dogs, and third-degree burns. Also the month where the caked-on glitter on your Pride swag that was once so shimmery begins to dull. The high from seeing all your friends and chosen family for weeks on end at multiple events per day fades, and you ask yourself...

guaranteed that one of your friends will be taken to the hospital for a minor concussion or fireworks mishap.

Sure, maybe sometimes you roll your eyes at how tacky the decorations are, but this year, embrace it!

Throw on a creepy Uncle Sam mask, spf 30 and some jorts and see how the other sexual orientation lives! Maybe you will realize... we aren’t all that different.

(Except our Jell-O shots are better. It’s just science.)

been to in the last month and do something new. Your body will thank you (especially if ice cream is involved).

3. Go to Other Pride Festivals!

Not in the mood to go hiking? No worries. Because there are a MILLION more Pride festivals you can go to!

Cleveland Pride, Toledo Pride and Akron’s Flair Fest are in August.

Plus, who doesn’t love any excuse to be Youngstown Pride and Mansfield Pride on a boat?! are in July. If you’re willing to venture outside of Ohio, there are a ton of Pride What was the point of it all?

2. Go on a Date That Doesn’t fests throughout the summer. I know what you are going to say next. “But Involve an Eight-Hour Pride is over. What’s a gay to do? No one Extravaganza of Brunch, a Brooke, when is Fargo Pride?” Don’t wants to go to gay bars, no one wants to Parade, a Drag Show and a worry. You didn’t miss it! It’s Aug. 18-21. go to a parade, and no one wants to Mark your calendars! (But seriously, I Dance Party All in One book a gay comedian! (Wait, is that just Pride month is crazy. There are a million really want to go. Who’s in for a road me?) shows, events, happy hours, parties... trip?) maybe you have a significant other, Your straight friends cannot IMAGINE maybe you met someone at Pride and Remember: Pride doesn’t have to end going to see Cher at the State Fair this had a “Pride Night Stand” as I call it. just because it’s July. Dust off the glitter year because you burned them all out Maybe you just want to take a good accessories and fishnets and get yourwith your Cher remix playlist you used friend out! Whatever your relationship self ready for a night on the town any for the last three months to prep for status, do something that doesn’t ol’ month. We still need Pride month, but Pride. But fear not, fellow queers! involve a marathon of events where you I like to think that those who came There’s a silver lining to that purple don’t even get to see your person. before us worked hard to help us earn spandex romper you put away on July 1. the right to be proud all year round.

Did you know there are 88 counties in Here are some tips to avoid post-Pride Ohio? Do some googling, take a mini (Besides, you only have to make it to depression with flair. Not just boring, road trip and check out something weird October. That’s LGBT History Month. And normal, buttons-on-suspenders flair. and quirky outside your own city limits. then the pre-Pride activities start right Like, Eliza Doolittle-at-the-horse-race It’s how I’ve found some of the best ice after December. YAY!) flair. cream in the world. (I’m looking at YOU, Tom’s Ice Cream Bowl in Zanesville.)

Brooke Cartus is a Chapstick lesbian with a law degree. You 1. Go Hang Out can find more of her writing on What makes Ohio amazing is that you With the Straights! her blog, Size L for Lady, at July 4 is Straight Pride. Everyone gets can leave any major city and be in the brookecartus.com. Look for wasted, there are multiple parades beautiful countryside within 20 minutes. Dyke Like Me every month in Outlook. everywhere you look, and it is almost Skip the 14th networking brunch you’ve outlookohio.com

We remember Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37... Luis Daniel Conde, 39...

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We remember Darryl Roman Burt II, 29... Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32...

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We remember Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21... Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, 25

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creative class

by Rachel Duthie

‘Human Instamatic’

The retrospective portraits of the Martin Wong: Human Instamatic exhibit are now on display at Ohio State University’s Wexner Center of the Arts in Columbus, their first stop on a national tour.

Wong, a Chinese-American artist whose fame has had a steady revival since his death from AIDS in 1999, served as an inspiration to LGBT communities everywhere for his vivid paintings of New York’s less affluent neighborhoods.

“It’s diverse, and it has a wide range of points of view,” Wexner Center spokesman Erik Pepple said. “Although the artist is no longer with us, it still is very much a show that is relatable in terms of identity and seeing his lingering, lasting influences on artists today.”

The gallery features more than 80 paintings from every stage of Wong’s career, from stories written on brown paper bags to large,

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finely detailed canvases of multiethnic, economically disadvantaged families. Viewers are also able to see rare archival materials, many from the Martin Wong Papers at New York University’s Fales Library.

The Columbus show, which runs through Sunday, Aug. 7, is considered the largest assembly of Wong’s work to date.

The artist’s craft of creating intricate, gritty street portraits coined the term Human Instamatic.

Columbus Exhibit Features Work of the Late Artist Martin Wong

Characterized as a gregarious person, he quickly befriended poets and graffiti artists who inspired him to paint the environments in which they struggled. Jail cells, brick walls, barbed wire and urban living are a constant theme throughout the exhibition.

With meticulous interpretation, Wong conveyed those images into raw emotion.

Martin Wong: Human Instamatic

through Sunday, Aug. 7 Wexner Center for the Arts 1871 N. High St., Columbus, 43210 wexarts.org

Wong had a unique receptivity to the world around him when he moved to the pre-gentrified Lower East Side in 1978 from San Francisco.

“He recognized prison cells and tenements as natural places where love and tenderness could take hold,” said Bill Horrigan, curator-atlarge for the Wexner Center.

Unapologetically eccentric, Wong showed would walk into his exhibits sporting a big, floppy cowboy hat and

accompanying duds. He had a drooping mustache that looked huge on his tall, thin frame. He loved glitter and psychedelic drugs, performed in a queer theater troupe known as the Cockettes, and had no problem creatively expressing his sexuality and fetishes in a period of LGBTQ resistance. “(Wong) has this almost prodigy-level talent to him, which is just mind-blowing,” Pepple said. “The amount of detail in his work, even to the smallest degree, is amazing.”

The Wexner Center galleries are open Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 11a-6p; Thursdays and Fridays from 11a-8p; Saturdays from noon-7p, and Sundays from noon-4p.

Tickets are $8, or $6 for seniors and OSU staff. Wexner Center members, college students and people younger than 18 get in free. Admission is free for everyone after 4p on Thursdays and on the first Sunday of each month.

We remember Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35... Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50...

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FOLL O W US

All of us u are going plac p es.

COTA KEEPS US MOVING G.

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We remember Amanda Alvear, 25... Martin Benitez Torres, 33...

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pride 2016

p!! d TTrriip ad oa RRo wnn w o o t t s s g g n n u u o o YY wn Pride Youngsto JJuuly ly 1166 ayy,, rda turd atu SSa wnn tow ssto g ouunng FFBB:: YYo all e F F e esstitivva de PPririd

THE HAPS

Festival: July 16 @ E. Federal Street, Youngstown, 44503 2p-9p

THE DRIVE

From Akron: 50 miles

From Columbus: 175 miles

From Athens: 145 miles

From Findlay: 180 miles

From Cleveland: 75 miles

From Toledo: 175 miles

From Cincinnati: 280 miles

From Mansfield: 110 miles

THE DRINKS

Club 441 441 E. Market St. Warren, 44481 330.394.9483 FB: Club 441

Funky Skunk 143 E. Market St. Warren, 44481 FB: Funky Skunk NiteClub

Utopia 876 E. Midlothian Blvd.

Youngstown, 44502 330.781.9000 FB: Utopia Video Nightclub

Mineshaft 1105 Poland Ave. Youngstown, 44502 330.207.6437 FB: Youngstown Mineshaft

THE SIGHTS

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The Butler Institute of American Art: Founded in 1919, the Butler Institute was the first museum in the nation dedicated solely to American art. Its holdings now number more than 20,000 works, including paintings by Andy Warhol, Mary Cassatt, Winslow Homer and Edward Hopper. Visit butlerart.com.

We remember Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28... Frank Hernandez, 27... Paul Terrell Henry, 41...

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! p i r T d Roa

ld e i f s n Ma Pride

ield Mansf 2-23 July 2 ride.com

ypr ieldg a mansf

THE HAPS

Festival: July 22-23 @ South Park Park Street & Brinkerhoff Avenue, Mansfield, 44906 Noon-8p

After-Party: July 23 @ Sami’s 178 Wayne St., Mansfield, 44902

Parade: July 23 @ Maple Street near Brinkerhoff Avenue, Mansfield, 44906 Grand Marshals 11a The Rhodes Brothers

THE DRIVE

From Akron: 65 miles

From Athens: 140 miles

From Cincinnati: 135 miles From Cleveland: 80 miles From Columbus: 65 miles From Findlay: 76 miles From Toledo: 105 miles

From Youngstown: 110 miles

THE DRINKS SamiÊs

178 Wayne St.

Mansfield, OH 44902

419.522.1500 FB: Sami’s Bar

THE SIGHTS

The Shawshank Trail: The 1994 film, The Shawshank Redemption, was set in New England but filmed at the former Ohio State Reformatory and other sites in and around Mansfield. The local tourism bureau created the Shawshank Trail for fans to visit locations in the movie. Visit shawshanktrail.com.

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We remember Antonio Davon Brown, 29... Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24... Akyra Monet Murray, 18...

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Out & About in

Central Ohio Kim Chi • Demi Lovato • Nick Jonas • Rocky Horror

FRIDAY, JULY 1 Red, White & Equal Rights @ LeVeque Tower Parking Garage Roof, 40 N. Front St., Columbus, 43215, 614.268.8525, x3; FB: Red, White + Equal Rights 2: Join us for the best seat in town AND the best party in town to celebrate Red, White & Boom! Up on the roof, we’ll have live music, food trucks, drinks and a great view of the fireworks. NIna West and Artic Clam will entertain. 4p; $15 ($50 VIP).

International Association of Gay/ Lesbian Country Western Dance Clubs Convention @ Hyatt Regency Columbus, 350 N. High St., Columbus, 43215; outhoedown.com: Hosted

by Columbus’ Stompers LGBT dance club, the weekend includes workshops, competitions and plenty of dancing. $10-$35 per event, or $35-$60 for day passes.

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SATURDAY, JULY 2 The Rocky Horror Totally ’80s Show @ Studio 35 Cinema and Drafthouse, 3055 Indianola Ave., Columbus, 43202; FB: The Fishnet Mafia: The Rocky Horror shadowcast group will pay special homage in this show to 1980s icons. All proceeds from the sale of $1 prop bags (everything you need to participate) will go to the victims of the Orlando shootings. 11:30p; $5.

SUNDAY, JULY 3 Kim Chi @ Axis, 775 N. High St., Columbus, 43215; 614.291.4008; axisonhigh.com: The RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 8 finalist performs with Nina West and Virginia West 10p; $10-$20.

MONDAY, JULY 4 Doo Dah Parade @ Park and Goodale streets, Columbus, 43215; doodahparade.org: A

Columbus holiday tradition that’s actually celebrated ON the holiday!

Former Mayor Michael Coleman is this year’s less-than-grand marshal. (Their words, not ours!) The parade is always a fun skewering of current events, so expect more than a few Donald Trumps. 1p.

FRIDAY, JULY 8 Red, White & Boots @ Exile, 893 N. 4th St., Columbus, 43201; 614.404.7521; nlacolumbus.com: The Columbus chapter of the National Leather Association hosts a bar night for those into patriotic leather. Or boots. 10p.

SATURDAY, JULY 9 Southbend Tavern Turnabout Show @ Southbend, 126 E. Moler St., Columbus, 43207; 614.444.3386; FB: Southbend Tavern: Proceeds benefit the Southbend Stallions softball team, which is heading the Gay Softball World Series in Austin.

10p and midnight.

THURSDAY, JULY 14 Bi Local Happy Hour @ Bossy Grrl’s Pin Up Joint, 2598 N. High St., Columbus, 43202; bilocal614.org: The social and advocacy group for bisexual Central Ohio residents meets on the second Thursday of every month. 6p-8p.

Evolution Theatre Presents: Book of Merman @ Columbus Performing Arts Center’s Van Fleet Theatre, 549 Franklin Ave., Columbus, 43215; 800.838.3006; evolutiontheatre.org: This musical comedy imagines two Mormon missionaries ringing the doorbell of Ethel Merman. 8p; $25 ($20 for seniors, $15 for students). More shows are scheduled for July 1516 and 20-23 at 8p, and Sunday, July 17 at 2p.

SATURDAY, JULY 16 LGBT Hiking Club Canoe Trip @ Mohican Adventures, 3045 State Rte. 3, Loudonville, 44842; 614.930.2265; stonewallcolumbus.org: The seven-mile canoe trip takes two hours and will be followed by lunch. 10a; $25.

LGBT Parent Happy Hour @ Factory on Fourth, 697 N. 4th St., Columbus, 43215; 614.636.3233; familypridenetwork.org: The Family Pride Network hosts a gettogether for LGBT parents and prospective parents. 4p-7p.

THURSDAY, JULY 21 Surrogacy Info Night @ Stonewall Columbus, 1160 N. High St., Columbus, 43201; 614.636.3233; familypridenetwork.org: The Family Pride Network hosts a discussion about biological parenting options for gay men, featuring experts from FRIDAY, JULY 15 Body Werk: Queer Bodies Moving surrogacy, assisted Stories @ Mikey’s Late Night reproSlice 4th & Main District, 268 S. ductive 4th St., Columbus, 43215; FB: Queer Behavior: Bring your three- technology and to 10-minute story and a willingness to be front and center. reproductive law.

Queer Behavior will provide the 6p-8p. audience. 7:30p-10p.

We remember Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25... Miguel Angel Honorato, 30...

FRIDAY, JULY 22 Columbus Classic LGBT Tennis Tournament @ Wickertree Tennis Center, 5760 Maple Canyon Ave., Columbus, 43229; cmto1.org/columbusclassic: The Columbus Metropolitan Tennis Organization, an LGBT group, hosts its fifth annual tournament.

Play begins at 8a on Friday and Saturday, and times for the finals on Sunday will be determined later. You can register through July 10.

Drummer North America Ohio Valley Regional Contest Weekend @ AWOL, 49 Parsons Ave., Columbus, 43215; FB: Ohio Leather Alliance/OVR Events: Events continue through Sunday, July 24. Visit the Facebook page for information about competing in the contests.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 27 Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas @ the Schottenstein Center, 555 Borror Dr., Columbus, 43210; 800.ARENA.01; schottensteincenter.com: As he lets us know several times a week via Twitter, Nick Jonas loves his gay fans. 7p; $29.95$89.95.

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Out & Out About & in About in

Southwest Ohio

Aretha Franklin • Thorgy Thor • Culture Club • Zoolander

FRIDAY, JULY 1 Paradise on the Point @ Sawyer Point, 705 E. Pete Rose Way, Cincinnati, 45202; FB: Paradise on the Point Free Festival: A new two-day, free music and arts festival will feature beer and food vendors, art installations, and live music. 4p. The festival continues on Saturday at 1p.

as “a sex farce with sea creatures.” Playwright Steve Yockey drew inspiration from a famous Japanese erotic woodcut, The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife, to craft a story about a marriage in crisis that’s naughty, funny and a little shocking. 8p; $20. There are more shows scheduled for 8p on July 7-9 and 3p on Sunday, July 10.

way, Cincinnati, 45202; 513.252.0777; jackentertainment.com/cincinnati: Culture Club is touring for the first time in more than 10 years. Enjoy some calypso flavored ’80s jams.

8pm. $89.

SUNDAY, JULY 24 Aretha Franklin @ Riverbend Music Center 6295 Kellogg Ave, Cincinnati, 45230; 513.381.3300; cincinnatisymphony.org: Hear “Respect,” “Natural Woman” and many more of the Queen of Soul’s hits. 8p; $35-$190.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 27 Summer Cinema: Zoolander @ Washington Park, 1230 Elm St., Cincinnati, 45202; 513.621.4400; washingtonpark.org: The movies start at dusk every Wednesday for this outdoor series. The park sells alcohol. 9p.

Pay-What-YouCan Preview: Girlfriend @ Know Theatre of Cincinnati, 1120 Jackson St., Cincinnati, 45202; 513. 300.5669; knowtheatre.com: The night before it opens to the public (see the listing for Friday, July 29), a special preview of Girlfriend will raise money for GLSEN Cincinnati.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 6 Cincinnati Opera: Fellow Travelers @ Aronoff Center JadsonKaplan Theater, 650 Walnut St, Cincinnati, 45202; 513.241.2742; cincinnatiarts .org: The opera tells the story of two gay men in the McCarthy Era of the 1950s. 7:30p; $29-$99.

There are more performances scheduled for Friday, July 8, at 7p; and Sunday, July 10, at 3p.

FRIDAY, JULY 15 Appalachian Leather and Fetish Weekend @ Roseland Resort, 925 Nolte Lane, Proctor, W.Va., 26055; FB: Miami Valley Bears & Leather Men: Also hosted by Scorpius of Cincinnati, the annual gathering includes a Black and Blue Ball, Boot Stomper Cocktail Party with live entertainment by Jeff Workman, contests and fetish demos. From 6p Friday to 1p Sunday.

Know Theatre: The Fisherman’s Wife @ Know Theatre 1120 Jackson St., Cincinnati, 45202; 513.300.5669; knowtheatre.com: This play is described

SATURDAY, JULY 16 Culture Club @ Jack Casino Cincinnati, 1000 Broad-

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We remember Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31... Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26...

THURSDAY, JULY 28 Thorgy Thor and Robbie Turner @ The Cabaret, 1122 Walnut St., Cincinnati, 45202; 513.202.4051; ThorgyCincy.Eventbrite.com: The two RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 8 contestants perform a show hosted by Penny Tration. There’s a meet-and-greet at 9p, and the show starts at 10p; $20.

SUNDAY, JULY 31 ICP Ball @ Westin Cincinnati, 21 E. 5th St., Cincinnati, 45202; isqccbe.org: The International Sovereign Queen City Court of the Buckeye Empire hosts its first-ever ball to elect and announce its 25th anniversary monarchs. 4p voting and 7p ball; $25 (tables for $125).

FRIDAY, JULY 29 Know Theatre: Girlfriend @ Know Theatre 1120 Jackson St., Cincinnati, 45202; 513.300.5669; knowtheatre.com: University of Cincinnati College-Conservatory of Music alum Todd Almond’s rock musical is about two high school boys in Nebraska who explore a relationship during a summer of self-discovery.

Time TBA; $25.

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Out & About in

Western Ohio

The Music of ABBA • The Lion King • Wynonna

FRIDAY, JULY 1 Disney’s The Lion King @ Schuster Performing Arts Center, 1 W. 2nd St., Dayton, 45402; 937.228.3630; ticketcenterstage.com: A wayward son returns home to avenge his father and there’s some singing. 8p; $25-$117. More performances are scheduled for Saturday, July 2, at 2p and 8p; and Sunday, July 3, at 1p.

FRIDAY, JULY 15 Cool Films: The Wizard of Oz @ Victoria Theatre, 138 N. Main St., Dayton, 45402; 937.228.7591; victoriatheatre.com/shows/ series/films: Boys! Boys! Let Judy say her lines without your help. The Cool Films Series runs all summer.

7p; $6 (a 10ticket passbook is $35). There are more screenings on Saturday, July 16, at 7p, and Sunday, July 17, at 3p.

SATURDAY, JULY 9 Arrival From Sweden: The Music of ABBA @ Springfield Arts Festival, Turner Pavilion in Veterans Park, 250 Cliff Park Rd., Springfield, 45504; 937.324.2712; springfieldartscouncil.org: Calling all FRIDAY, JULY 15 Appalachian Leather and Fetish dancing queens... 8p.

Weekend @ Roseland Resort, 925 Nolte Lane, Proctor, W.Va., 26055; FB: TUESDAY, JULY 12 PFLAG Dayton Monthly Meeting @ Miami Valley Bears & Leather Men: Harmony Creek Church, 5280 Bigger Also hosted by Scorpius of Cincinnati, the annual gathering includes Rd., Dayton, 45440; 937.640.3333; a Black and Blue Ball, Boot Stomper pflagdayton.org: The support group Cocktail Party with entertainment by for parents, family and friends of Jeff Workman, contests and fetish LGBT people meets on the second demos. 6p Friday to 1p Sunday.

Tuesday of each month. 7p.

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SATURDAY, JULY 16 Wynonna and The Big Noise @ Rose Music Center, 6800 Executive Blvd., Huber Heights, 45424; 800.745.3000; rosemusiccenter.com: The country superstar has a new band, The Big Noise, and a new sound that she describes as “vintage yet modern,” a blend of country, Americana, blues, soul and rock. 7p; $23.50-$50.

FRIDAY, JULY 22 Foamy Friday @ Masque, 20 N. Jefferson St., Dayton, 45402; 937.228.

2582; FB: Masque: On the second and fourth Friday of every month, Masque hosts a foam party hosted by Amanda Sue and featuring the Masque Men. 11p.

MONDAY, JULY 25 Monday Night Talent @ MJ’s on Jefferson, 20 N. Jefferson St., Dayton, 45402; 937.223.3259; FB: MJ’s on Jefferson: Queens, kings, strippers and singers get a weekly chance to show off their talent. The audience favorite wins $60, and the show director’s choice could win a booking.

11p.

Out & About in

Northwest Ohio Love-Out/Love Fest • Christmas in July

FRIDAY, JULY 1 First Friday Red White & BBQ @ Bretz Nightclub, 2012 Adams St., Toledo, 43604; 419.243.1900; FB: Bretz Nightclub: Enjoy hot dogs, hamburgers and more. Feel free to bring a dish to share. Drinks will be $1 from 10p-11p. The party starts at 7p.

MONDAY, JULY 4 Independence Day Concert @ Rutherford B. Hayes Presidential Library & Museums, Hayes and Buckland avenues, Fremont, 43420; rbhayes.org: The Toledo Symphony Concert Band will perform. 2p.

Red, White and KaBOOM Fireworks Celebration @ Marina District, Riverside Drive, Toledo, 43604; toledokaboom.com: Enjoy a night of entertainment, food and fireworks.

4p-11p.

SATURDAY, JULY 9 Toledo Love-Out: Kiss-in & Musical March @ Bretz Nightclub, 2012 Adams St., Toledo, 43604; 419.243.1900; FB: Bretz Nightclub: If LGBTQ people kissing each other and

Toledo Bar Owners United will take place at the city’s newest gay bar. First place wins $250.

SATURDAY, JULY 16 Foam Party @ Bretz loving each other is such a radiNightclub, 2012 Adams cal thing to do, then maybe we aren’t St., Toledo, 43604; 419.243.1900; kissing each other enough! Bring FB: Bretz Nightclub: The second of whistles, drums, maracas, tamfour monthly foam parties planned bourines, horns, someone to kiss, and make yourself look fabulous. The this summer. 9p; $6 ($10 for 18-20 years old). march starts at Bretz and ends at the Love Fest detailed below. 4p.

SUNDAY, JULY 24 Equality Toledo Loves Love Fest @ Women’s-Only Triathlon @ Centennial Terrace and Quarry, 5773 The Love Wall, 1209 Adams St., Centennial Rd., Sylvania, 43560; Toledo, 43604; 419.407.6225; equalitytoledo.org: It’s an evening of 419.829.2398; eliteendeavors.com: Women of all ages and athletic abillive local entertainment - bands, ity will come together in the common drag performers, theater, DJs and more - at Toledo’s famous Love Wall. interest of women’s health, fitness and finding a cure for breast cancer.

Your donations go to Equality Toledo’s efforts to educate the com- Register online by Friday, July 22.

7:30a; $68-$93. munity and fight discrimination.

5p-10p; $5 suggested donation.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 13 Christmas in July Party @ Georgjz, 1205 Adams St., Toledo, 43604; 419.982.8810; FB: Georgjz Food and Spirits: The second in a series of rotating costume contests hosted by

We remember Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40... Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24...

FRIDAY, JULY 29 Youth Homelessness Is a Drag @ Bretz Nightclub, 2012 Adams St., Toledo, 43604; FB: The Promise House Project: Bretz is donating all proceeds from the door to Promise House, which works with Toledo’s homeless LGBT young people. The night includes drag performances, a 50/50 raffle and giveaways. 10p; $3 ($5 for 18 to 20).

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Out & About in

Northeast Ohio

for Erin Fox in her Stonewall shirt; she’ll hand out rainbow wristbands.

5p pre-game and 7p first pitch; $13.

Indigo Girls • Mansfield Pride • Youngstown Pride TaDa! Series: Top of the Crop Dinner

FRIDAY, JULY 1 Phantom of the Opera @ Playhouse Square/State Theatre, 1519 Euclid Ave., Cleveland, 44115; 216.241.6000; playhousesquare.org: This new touring production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical includes new special effects, scenery, lighting, staging and choreography. 8p; $50$150. More shows are scheduled for July 2-3 and July 5-10.

Fourth of July Weekend @ Freedom Valley Campground, 1875 U.S. 250 S., New London, 44851; 419.929.8100; freedomvalleycamping.com: Nothing says God Bless America like a golf cart float parade, foam party, cookout and potluck. $15 for day or night passes ($20-$124 per night for accommodations).

SATURDAY, JULY 2 Red, White and Blue Party Weekend @ Circle JJ Ranch, 1104 Amsterdam Rd., Scio, 43988; 330.627.3101; circlejjranch.com: It’s a weekend of

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parties and shows and more at the Northeast Ohio campground for men. $15 for day or night passes ($18$110 per night for accommodations).

TUESDAY, JULY 5 Dance Party! @ U.S. Bank Plaza, located in the area bordered by Euclid Avenue, E. 14th Street and Huron Road, Cleveland, 44115; 216.771.4444; playhousesquare.org; Learn swing, Argentine tango, salsa and kizomba with dance instructors from Cleveland’s Viva Dance Studios. 5:15p.

More events are scheduled July 12, 19 and 26.

FRIDAY, JULY 8 Stonewall Kickball Night at the Cleveland Indians @ Progressive Field, 2401 Ontario St., Cleveland, 44115; FB: Stonewall Night at the Indians: The night includes dollar dogs and post-game fireworks, plus a pre-game happy hour with a DJ and $2 domestic cans. Buy tickets for The Corner, which will allow everyone to socialize throughout the game. Look

@ Crop Bistro & Bar, 2534 Lorain Ave, Cleveland, OH 44113, 216.651.5428; lgbtcleveland.org: This event in the LGBT Community Center of Greater Cleveland’s fundraising series includes a rooftop picnic with spectacular views of Ohio City, Downtown and Lake Erie. 6p; $55.

Oberlin Summer Theater Festival: Inherit the Wind @ Hall Auditorium, 67 N. Main St., Oberlin, 44074; 440.775.8169; calendar.oberlin.edu: The play written by Clevelander Jerome Lawrence and Elyria native Robert Lee debuted in 1955. It tells the story of the 1925 Scopes Monkey Trial as a parable for the anti-communist McCarthy hearings. 7p; free, but you need a ticket. There are more shows scheduled for July 9, 16, 22 and 24 at 2p; and July 12, 14, 20, 26, 28 and 30 at 7p.

TUESDAY, JULY 12 Brandi Carlile and Old Crow Medicine Show @ Jacobs Pavilion at Nautica, 2014 Sycamore St., Cleveland, 44113; 216.241.5555;

livenation.com; Lesbian artist Brandi Carlile brings her signature folk and country sound to Northeast Ohio.

7:30p; $22-$515.

FRIDAY, JUNE 15 BAILAMOS! Latin Pop Night @ Twist, 11633 Clifton Blvd., Cleveland, 44102; 216.221.2333; FB: Twist Social Club; Twist’s hottest party of the summer features music from J. Lo, Enrique, Shakira and more. 9p.

SATURDAY, JULY 16 HAPPY PRIDE, YOUNGSTOWN! Youngstown Pride Festival @ E. Federal Street, Youngstown, 44503; 330.799.1240; FB: Youngstown Pride Festival: It’s the 8th annual Youngstown Pride, and the event gets bigger every year. Local bands and performers take the stage throughout the day, and this year, there’s a beer tent where you can get your pride on.

Noon-9p; $3.

THURSDAY, JULY 21 Farm to Cocktails CANAPI Fundraiser @ Crown Point Ecology Center, 3220 Ira Rd., Bath, 44210; 330.252.1559; canapi.org: Money raised will go to CANAPI’s organic food pantry, which offers fresh produce, meat and dairy items to HIV-positive people in Summit and Portage counties who live below 80 percent of the median income. 5:30p7:30p; $50.

FRIDAY, JULY 22 HAPPY PRIDE, MANSFIELD! Mansfield Pride Festival @ South Park, Park Street and Brinkerhoff Avenue, Mansfield, 44906; mansfieldgaypride.com: Mansfield celebrates its second annual Pride over two days. The festival, whose organizers say they want to ensure that LGBT people in the city feel part of a community, continues on Saturday. Noon-8p.

Indigo Girls @ Kent Stage, 175 E. Main St., Kent, 44240; 330.677.5005; thekentstage.com: This show sold out in April, so you’ll have to hunt the resale sites to find tickets. 8p.

gay twins from Ashland whose 2015 YouTube video of a phone call in which they came out to their father gained widespread attention. 11a.

The festival runs from noon-8p.

Mansfield Pride After-Party @ Sami’s, 178 Wayne St., Mansfield, 44902; 419.522.1500; FB: Sami’s Bar: Samantha Styles hosts. Performers include Khloe Chanel Stratton, Joshalyn Spears and Tatians Hames.

8p.

SUNDAY, JULY 24 Iron Eagles’ Xmas in July Benefit Show @ Cocktails Akron, 33 W. Mapledale Ave., Akron, 44301; FB: IronEaglesInc: The Canton-based leather group celebrates two Christmases in order to raise money for its holiday charity fund. 5p.

Heathers: The Musical @ the Akron Civic Theatre, 182 S. Main St., Akron, 44308; 330.535.3179; akroncivic.com: Based on the classic 1989 film, it’s a hilarious, heartfelt and homicidal new show about high school cliques and the limits one will go to to fit in. 8p; $15. More shows are scheduled at July 23 at 8pm and July 24 at 7p.

FRIDAY, JULY 29 Luminaries @ Freedom Valley Campground, 1875 U.S. 250 S., New London, 44851; 419.929.8100; freedomvalleycamping.com: One of the most popular weekends at the campground for men includes the annual White Party. $15 for day or night passes ($20-$124 per night for accommodations).

SATURDAY, JULY 23 HAPPY PRIDE, MANSFIELD! Mansfield Pride Parade @ Maple Street near Brinkerhoff Avenue, Mansfield, 44906; mansfieldgayprode.com: Mansfield’s second Pride parade will feature grand marshals Austin and Aaron Rhodes,

SATURDAY, JULY 30 TaDa! Series: Grillin’ and Chillin’ @ Luxe Kitchen & Lounge, 6605 W. Detroit Ave., Cleveland, 44102, 216.651.5428; lgbtcleveland.org: Chef Dallas Martinez prepares a three-course grilled dinner to raise money for the LGBT Community Center of Greater Cleveland. 5p; $150.

We remember Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32... Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19...

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savage love

by Dan Savage

DIAPERS &

PEEPERS

I’ve been dating a nice guy for a month or so. Sex is good, and we’re faulty compatible in other ways, too.

You have a hard time believing PNB when he says there’s nothing sexual about his interest in diapers, and that makes two of us. Seeing as he’s already He told me he likes to wear succumbed to shame where his diapers. He said he doesn’t kink is concerned - or it might want me to do it with him, but be more accurate to say he that every once in a while he hasn’t dug himself out from likes to wear them because it under the shame almost all makes him feel “safe.” He said kinksters struggle with initially that this odd behavior isn’t he is very likely weighed down sexual for him, but I have trou- by the sex-negativity that comes ble believing him. bundled with kink-shame.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. He also said that it embarrasses him and he wishes it wasn’t something he needed. If you have any insight into what to ask him or how to make sure I can keep him satisfied sexually as we move forward (if we do), it would be appreciated.

32

So he may have told you there’s nothing sexual about it because he thinks it makes his diapers seem less sordid.

That said, DIAPERS, “this makes me feel safe” and “this makes my dick hard” aren’t mutually exclusive phenomena.

Both can be true. (And if diapers really do make adults feel safe - Do I Ask Pooper and I want to see data on that Everything Respectfully, Sir? we could rebrand them as “portable individual safe You shouldn’t assume (contra spaces.”) your sign-off) that Potential New Boyfriend (PNB) is pooping his Another clue there’s something diapers. Most guys who are sexual about this thing for ABDL (adult baby/diaper lover) diapers: not wanting you around are interested only in wetting while he wears them. Maybe themselves, if that. Some only diapers are something he enjoys wear, never fill. It sounds like wearing during alone time, or PNB is struggling with kinkmaybe the sight of him in diaand/or sex-shame, DIAPERS, pers makes the sexual aspect and the assumption you’ve hard to deny. (“Is that an enormade about the extent of his mous rattle in your diaper or are diaper play might put him on you just happy to see me?”) the defensive.

I would advise you to say some Even if your assumption is vaguely affirming things (“Your accurate, it could still put him diaper thing doesn’t bother me on the defensive. and wouldn’t even if it were sexual”) without pressuring him Moving on… to include you at diaper time.

Don’t rush things - relationship-

july 2016

wise or diaper-wise - and focus Church, so you know it’s true.) on establishing a mutually sat- As for the two guys who knocked isfying sexual rapport/repertoire. it off when they spotted you: They either thought you were a P.S. I think you meant “fairly cop (it’s illegal to be in Seattle compatible” not “faulty comparks after closing, and it’s patible.” Normally I would extra illegal to have sex in a correct that before printing a public park after hours) or letter, but I rather liked your thought you might be shocked accidental phrase. A loving and or annoyed. functional-but-imperfect relationship - really the best we can Most park-pervs go out of their hope for - could be described as way to be discreet, for their faulty compatible. own safety and out of consideration for late-night dog walkers, A local park in Seattle often restless insomniacs, stargazers, hosts gay men engaging in et al. sexual activities. As a straight female, I love watching man- One last reason they may have on-man sex and really wanted pulled up their pants: They to check out this park. I weren’t interested in performing stopped by at night and for you. Gay and bi men who noticed “cruising” going on have sex in parks - many of but no sexual activity. I them straight-identified men decided to try on a busy Satur- aren’t there to perform for pervy day night, and sure enough, I straight ladies. But I’m not saw a man giving a BJ to angoing to scold you (even at the other man. risk of being scolded myself), PARK, because park-pervs risk I scared the men - they being observed by other memstopped their activities and left bers of the public. And women the park when they saw me are members of the public, too, watching - and I felt bad. I feel and just as entitled to get their like I should have said some- perv on in a public park as thing like, “Don’t let me stop those guys are. you!” and then perhaps been able to watch. What are my op- But if you don’t want the guys to tions here? pull up their pants and flee at - Peculiar And Rare Kink the sight of you, PARK, pull together an outfit that gives you Two options: Dress up like a a dude-ish silhouette dude and pass yourself off as You can email Dan Savage at one of the guys/park-pervs mail@savagelove.net, follow him on guys into man-on-man public Twitter at @fakedansavage or listen to sex usually aren’t adverse to his weekly podcast, Savage Lovecast, every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savbeing observed by other male age. Savage Love park-pervs - or stay home and appears every month watch gay porn online until in Outlook and every you’ve homicided love. (Porn week at kills love; so says the Mormon outlookohio.com.

We remember Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37... Mercedes Marisol Flores, 26...

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the divine life

by Debé

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) It’s great to be the center of attention - until it isn’t. You are at your best when you’re in the zone. Tap into your inner Goldilocks - not too much, but not too little. When you find it just right, you’ll know. Oh yeah, that’s the spot!

Cancer Celebrities: Jane Lynch, George Michael, Meredith Baxter, Rufus Wainwright.

Leo (July 23 - August 22) Such a ferocious roar you have! You think you have us fooled, but we know if we scratch your belly you’ll be purring in no time. There is beauty inside the beast. Don’t be afraid to let it show. It’s actually pretty adorable.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22) Uh-oh. Your carefully organized house of cards just collapsed. Don’t panic! It’s going to be fine, you just needed a good reshuffling of the deck.

The moon in Capricorn restores order after the 19th.

Libra (September 23 - October 22) Sweet temptation is whispering (or blowing) in your ear. Do you give in? Is it worth it? The grass may not be greener on the other side, so be prepared to live with the consequences.

Decisions, decisions.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) Patience truly is a virtue. You’re getting closer to achieving your goals, but some fine-tuning is needed. I get that you want it NOW, but suck it up, buttercup. Good things come to those who wait.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) Girlfriend, you are a firecracker this month!

You’re as hot as the Fourth of July, and now’s the time to channel that enthusiasm into getting what - or whom - you want. Go for it, and let the sparks fly!

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) The full moon in your sign on the 19th gives you extra umph. You’ve got power, but you don’t need to wear an “S” on your chest to prove it.

You can be a mild-mannered superhero and get the job done better. outlookohio.com

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) A wild month winds down in July, and so should you. This is a good month to re-evaluate what you’re really looking for. Take time to get organized, and balance strategy with an open mind.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Your life’s been like an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, but the drama has finally settled down. You need some time off to recover, so unplug and unwind. Spend a little quality time with yourself.

Aries (March 21 - April 19) Is your head spinning from the Pride festivities?

Slow down and catch your breath. You’ll need it for the next chase, and it’ll be a fast track, baby. Luckily, no one likes a good challenge more than you.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20) You like to get your hands dirty, and they are itching to get to work. Don’t let someone else pull your focus or mess you up. He or she might be shiny, but your goals are more important than bling right now.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) Flexibility is the key word for this month. Luckily, you’re as flexible as a pole dancer, so you are in your wheelhouse. Trust your gut when it comes to any deals that sound too good to be true. You know what they say...

Handy Tip: Water Hand A water hand is characterized by long fingers on a long narrow palm. These hands can look otherworldly with willowy “ET” fingers. The owner of this hand is a deep feeler and often has psychic ability.

Debé is a palmist, intuitive adviser and metaphysical teacher in Columbus. She is available for personal readings, parties, events and workshops. For more information go to thepassionatepalmist.com. Look for The Divine Life every month in Outlook.

We remember Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35, and Enrique L. Rios Jr., 25. #WeAreOrlando

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Outlook Magazine: Celebrating 20 years!

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Thanks to all our advertisers and readers for two decades of support! You rock!

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Outlook Magazine: Celebrating 20 years!

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