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outlook oct 2009 • vol 14 issue 5

inside: BOO! March on Washington High Ball & Trauma Somalis vs gays chihuly takes cbus Minering in scarlet & Gay Fort Hayes high school Chris Willis Noka Davers outlook endorsements & local celeb DebĂŠ

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Nina has performed so much this past year, I think her being out of drag would be a better costume...and scarier!

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BOO! welcome to the 5th issue of outlook: columbus!

It’s halloween time and back to school season. Are area campuses a scarey place for queer students these days? Billy Ashley and Paul Saltz explore the issue and Michael talks with Ft Hayes Principal Ruffin. Plus the March on Washington, Halloween happenings and outlook’s endorsements. This and so much more is waiting for you to discover in this treat of an edition.. and an occasional trick. Enjoy!

outlook columbus is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. the first day of each month throughout Ohio. outlook columbus is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than 5 copies of any issue outlook columbus with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted.

The views expressed in outlook columbus are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management.

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you are here

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small pond

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music is the answer

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snapshot

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earthopolis

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interview

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hey!

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insightout

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creative class

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q-munity

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queer to eternity

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fashion forward

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pull out

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anything but straight

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trippin’ out

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common life

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gay agenda about town feature: queer on campus feature: queer vs the east

food drama!

poli sci

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savage love

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gayly fwd>

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halloween listings

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local celebrity

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open kimono

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deep inside hwood

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astro forecast

outlook columbus does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented.

Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2009 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

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NETWORK COLUMBUS SEPTEMBER 9, 2009

NETWORK COLUMBUS SEPTEMBER 9, 2009

NETWORK COLUMBUS SEPTEMBER 9, 2009

WHO DO YOU THINK PITCHES AND WHOM CATCHES?

YEAH I FIGHT FOR EQUALITY, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

LOOK JERRY, YOU’RE BACK IN THE PAPER! HI DAVE!

G2H2 • ELEVEN SEPTEMBER 11, 2009

G2H2 • ELEVEN SEPTEMBER 11, 2009

G2H2 • ELEVEN P SE TEMBER 11, 2009

PATIO PRETTIES

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEJANDRO AND MR MACKEY!

SPOKESGALS FOR COLGATE AND LENS CRAFTERS

A NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY?

SWEATIN’• WALL ST SEPTEMBER 6, 2009

SWEATIN’• WALL ST SEPTEMBER 6, 2009

SWEATIN’• WALL ST SEPTEMBER 6, 2009

SWEATIN’• WALL ST SEPTEMBER 6, 2009

AMOXYCILLAN

DON’T GIVE ME NO FLAX

AHHH, DETOX, PC IS GOING TO BE PISSED.

WAIT, NO ONE MOVE...

I DROPPED A CONTACT!

RAINBOW CHALLENGE MASQUE PREMIER

RAINBOW CHALLENGE MASQUE PREMIER

RAINBOW CHALLENGE MASQUE PREMIER

RAINBOW CHALLENGE MASQUE PREMIER

AMAYA AND THE WORLD’S LOUDEST TRANNY!

HI, WE’RE THE BLUE TEAM. WE ARE SO AWESOME! KOOMBIYA!

10 BRAVE QUEERS VENTURED INTO THE WOODS...

YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S ON MOXY’S TONGUE.

THE NEW SUPER SALES TEAM

G2H2 • ELEVEN SEPTEMBER 11, 2009

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Findmorepicsatwww.outlookcolumbus.com/snapshot.html

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CoorsisalsoaleadsponsoroftheGaySoftballWorldSeries,comingtoCbusin2010!

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ANTI-DISCRIMINATION LAW PASSES OHIO HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES With a vote of 56 to 39, the Ohio House of Representatives passed House Bill 176, the Equal Housing and Employment Act. The House vote marks the first time in Ohio’s history that a vote on the floor of either chamber has occurred on legislation protecting people based on their sexual orientation or gender identity in Ohio.

“With the passage of the Equal Housing and Employment Act, today the members of the House sent a clear message,” said Lynne Bowman, Executive Director of Equality Ohio, the state’s advocacy organization for LGBT issues. “Discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity will not be tolerated in Ohio, regardless of where a person lives, works or plays.”

committee has been formed and the search for a new Executive Director is underway. A full posting and job description will be available at www.equalityohio.org after 10/1/09.

ANNOUNCING THE OUR STORIES: OUR RELATIONSHIPS 2009 VIDEO CONTEST Why did most Ohioans vote for the marriage ban in 2004? We have had 5 years to reflect on that question.

There are many theories and ideas, but there is one certain truth... most Ohioans do not understand our challenges, our hopes, our lives, and our hearts. Without that understanding of our common humanity, we will never achieve full equality in this state.

4 years ago Equality Ohio launched the Our State, Our Lives, Our Home Stories Project. At that time EO pledged House Bill 176 was introduced in early May of 2009 with that it would become an annual action until the mar27 co-sponsors, including primary sponsors Rep. Dan riage ban amendment is removed from the Ohio ConstiStewart (D, Columbus) and Rep. Ross McGregor (R, tution.

Springfield) and passed out of the State Government committee in June on an 8/5 vote. It has the support of Equality Ohio has collected your stories online, in digital more than 150 faith groups, local governments, and collections, and through pictures - stories about how community organizations across Ohio. The Ohio Cham- Ohio laws affect you and your loved ones, and why you ber of Commerce, the NFIB and the Ohio Chapter of the want to make Ohio your home. Every year we have proSociety for Human Resource Management have all duced either a DVD, book, or last year, a calendar and taken a neutral position on the bill. delivered it to Ohio ’s legislators, state leaders, and the public on December 2 - the anniversary of the date the “I am pleased to stand with my 55 colleagues in the marriage ban amendment went into effect in Ohio. We House who voted yes on HB176 today,” said Represen- call this the Banniversary. tative Stewart. “We worked together to craft a bill that protects more Ohioans and is good for business. The bi- This year is the 5-year anniversary, and EO would like to partisan support it has achieved to date should make do something different to commemorate this date. one thing clear: equality in housing, employment and public accommodations is not a partisan issue in Ohioans are frustrated by lack of progress around relaOhio.” Currently, 20 states and the District of Columbia, tionship recognition here. A major obstacle is the 2004 11 of Ohio’s 13 public four-year universities, 17 Ohio marriage ban amendment as well as Ohio’s Defense of cities, over 90% of Fortune 500 companies, the Ohio Marriage Act. It is time to tell our legislators why RelaSenate and the Ohio House of Representatives all offer tionship Recognition is important here in Ohio. It is time similar protections. Governor Strickland has indicated to tell them why it is important to you! support for the legislation. The bill now heads to the Senate.

We invite you to submit a 30-60 second video to our 5 Year Banniversary Contest explaining why relationship “Now that House Bill 176 has passed the House, we recognition is important to you! The top 5 videos will be look forward to the opportunity for full hearings in the delivered to Ohio’s legislators, state leaders, and the Senate,” said Representative McGregor. “The Senate public on December 2, 2009. has indicated that they are focusing on issues that will stimulate the economy in Ohio. We believe they will find The deadline to express your intent is October 15, 2009. that House Bill 176 does just that by telling business owners and the employees they are trying recruit, that Equality Ohio will work to have the winning video played Ohio is a place that welcomes everyone.” on public TV as a public service announcement. Go to:

tee on the Constitution, Civil Rights and Civil Liberties, Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin (D-WI), and Congressman Jared Polis (D-CO).

Earlier this month, HRC launched a national action alert, an interactive website, RepealDOMAnow.org, and delivered to Congress nearly 50,000 survey responses showing the concrete harms DOMA brings to the lives of LGBT Americans and their families. The survey was commissioned in August by the Human Rights Campaign and asked a series of questions on DOMA repeal.

The results of the survey showed 70 percent of respondents consider the repeal of DOMA a “top priority.” To view the full survey results, visit: http://www.hrcbackstory.org/2009/09/momentum-building-for-doma-repeal.

at Columbus Performing Arts Center; $20. A Night in Vegas (a collaboration with the Columbus Jazz Orchestra), Fri, May 21 8p; Sat, March 22, 2p & 8p @ Capitol Theatre at the Vern Riffe Center; $49; Mezzanine: $39.

Tickets available at www.cgmc.com and 614.228.CGMC. Tickets for A Night in Vegas can be purchased through the Jazz Arts Group.

CASTING CALL FOR JEKYLL & HYDE

Emerald City Players will be holding auditions for Jekyll & Hyde Sun, Oct 4, Mon, Oct 5, and Wed Oct 7 at Emerald City Theater, 6799 Dublin Center Dr, in the Dublin Village Shopping Center. Those auditioning should prepare a musical selection of one minute in length. Preferred composers for style purposes are: Frank Wildhorn, OCTOBER IS GLBT HISTORY MONTH Stephen Schwartz, Maury Yeston, Stephen Sondheim, Laurence O’Keefe. Please bring resume and headshot It’s GLBT History Month! Beginning October 1, a GLBT (snap shot is fine) and list of schedule conflicts.

Icon is presented daily on Equality Forum’s Gay History They will be looking for actors of all ages, possibly a Month website with a video, bio, bibliography, downcouple children as well. All characters sing to some exloadable images and other resources – all provided for tent, although not necessarily solo. Female dancers are free. The GLBT History Month 2009 website a must! Rehearsals will be held Sun-Thu evenings from (www.glbtHistoryMonth.com) includes expanded free re- 6:30p-9:30p beginning Mon, Oct 12. Not everyone will sources for the media, students, educators, diversity be called for each rehearsal. Performances are Nov 20 – groups, educational institutions, for-profit corporations, Dec 5. Casting questions should be forwarded to ryanand GSA’s. Resources including a new “Ideas for the scarlata@hotmail.com. Visit Media” page with local connections for all 31 Icons, and www.emeraldcityplayers.com to purchase tickets or for how to access free photos and contact information for more information. interviews with the 17 living Icons. More resources in the Students/Educators section include bios, posters, Icon lists, table tents, buttons and more. There is also OHIO STATE’S SCHOOL OF MUSIC PRESENTS easy-to-follow instructions on the home page for em4TH ANNUAL SCHOLARSHIP CONCERTS bedding the daily Icon videos for free on your Web site or blog. The 93 Icons with resources for 2006, 2007 and This year’s 4th Annual Mark Moffett, Jr. GBLT Scholar2008 are archived on the site as well, and GLBT History ship Concert will be held in two parts. The first concert Month DVDs (with all 31 Icon videos) now available for will be Friday, October 9, 2009 at 8p in Weigel Auditosale on the site. rium, 1866 College Rd, on campus, as part of the national “Coming Out” festivities.

COLUMBUS GAY MEN’S CHORUS PRESENTS ITS 20TH SEASON

Music faculty, students, staff, and alumni volunteer to perform in this scholarship concert, which honors New The Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus (CGMC) announces its York pianist Mark Moffett, Jr., who passed away in 2005 20th season, showcasing five performances of Joy in at age 40 from brain cancer caused by HIV. Mark’s partDecember, Vox’s concert in March, and a stirring collab- ner Paul Lockwood, a staff member in the School of oration with the Columbus Jazz Orchestra to produce A Music and Artistic Director and Founder of Evolution Night in Vegas in May. Theatre Company (ETC) in Columbus, coordinates the event.

“The Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus turns twenty this year, and we are thrilled to continue longstanding tradi- The October 9 program includes a variety of solos, tions and build on new relationships,” said David Mon- chamber groups, and ensembles offered in a fast http://www.equalityohio.org/2009%20Our%20Stories%20Vide seur, CGMC Artistic Director. CGMC will expand its paced “collage” format, with no applause between per“This success was made possible because of the con- o%20Contest.pdf for more info. outreach to bring Joy! to Powell United Methodist formances. Last year nearly 60 music faculty, staff, stuviction of legislators who believe this is the right thing Church in Powell, and will work together with the Jazz dents, and alumni performed. A donation of $10 is to do and because of activists from across Ohio who LEGISLATION INTRODUCED TO REPEAL Arts Group to create a unique presentation of the music suggested for event admission. work to make our state a place where everyone can feel DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT and fun from Las Vegas! at home. We are now one step closer because of each of Past concerts have raised a total of $12,500, with them,” commented Bowman.

“We hope to reach multiple new audiences through our $12,500 more needed to endow the scholarship fund.

The Human Rights Campaign, hailed the introduction of the Respect for Marriage Act (RMA) which would re- collaboration with the CJO and our outreach efforts. Our Those interested in supporting the scholarship fund, LYNNE BOWMAN TO LEAVE EQUALITY OHIO peal the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) small ensemble, Vox, will also delight audiences with its contact the Office of University Development, The Ohio tribute to the Red Carpet,” said Matthew Arnold, Execu- State University. The $1,500 annual Moffett scholarship and restore the rights of all lawfully married couples tive Director for CGMC. “It promises to be a very entic- is awarded annually to a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transEquality Ohio has announced that Executive Director including same-sex couples to receive the benefits of ing season!” gender music major. Based on artistic ability and social Lynne Bowman will be leaving the organization at the marriage under federal law. The bill also provides service, the scholarship is awarded with first preference end of 2009. Bowman, who has been with Equality Ohio same-sex couples with certainty that federal benefits to a piano major, second to a violin major, and third to since its initial beginnings in November of 2004, has and protections would flow from a valid marriage cele- Joy!: Fri, Dec 4 8p; Sat, Dec 5 2p & 8p @ King Avenue accepted a new position as the Director of Programs brated in a state where such marriages are legal, even United Methodist Church; Sat, Dec 12 2p @ Lord of Life all other music majors.

Lutheran Church; Sat, Dec 12 8p @ Powell United and Services for Equality Federation, a national organi- if a couple moves or travels to another state. The lead zation dedicated to strengthening statewide LGBT ad- sponsors of the measure include Congressman Jerrold Methodist Church; $15 in advance; $20 at the door. Vox Part II of the concert will occur Friday, March 5, 2010, in vocacy organizations across the nation. A transition Nadler (D-NY), Chair of the House Judiciary Subcommit- on the Red Carpet: Mar 5 & 6, 8p @ Van Fleet Theatre recognition of Moffett’s March 7 birthday.

OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Christopher Hayes HEADQUARTERS Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, S BSMT STE ii Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525 phone 614.261.8200 fax www.outlookmedia.com

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Mills Bacha, Andrew Collins CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Danner-Morris, Robert Trautman, Andrea Haley, Terry Rishel Cover photo: Bliznetsov

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It’saplaywithoutEcstasy.Yes,gayboysarestillwelcome.

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See our endorsements on page 10. Then VOTE!

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TRAUMA Returns to Park Street

just yet. You will have a show up to see the craziness and see for yourself.

Oct. 29th marks the eight-year anniversary of TRAUMA. Columbus’s number one Halloween, fetish, freak show, dance party extravaganza. Just like every year, founder Nick Wolak (Evolved Body Art) and his partner in crime Jacob Wooten (Motion Productions) will be pulling out all the stops, determined to top themselves (and any other willing participants).

The party is like no other in the country. You can always expect the unexpected with the usual party perks: beautiful people, the city’s finest DJs and performance groups, and, of course, some of the best dominatrixes and leather daddies Columbus has to offer.

OC: Last year the venue seemed pretty perfect for you party.

What made you want to return to the Arena District?

NW: Well 2 years ago we only had Sugar Bar, which was a total blast, but obviously to small for our party. This time we have more room than ever, using Sugar Bar and Park St Patio. One of my favorite parts about Park St Patio, is that it has a huge fully stocked patio bar that holds over 700 people. We will be putting up a white heated circus tent that covers the entire patio. roeVy, Rainer and Adulture are our DJs scheduled out on the patio this year. All performers have unique custom video to go along with their music, so you can imagine the entire room being one huge projection screen looking pretty sweet.

OC: What is your favorite aspect of TRAUMA? JW: I would have to say the unity in this event is my favorite part of the event. Almost every performer lives in Columbus or at least from Columbus. Watching perOC: We have all heard plenty of rumors about what to expect formers and DJs collaborate for one night only is very this year. What new things can you share with us before the exciting. We are all getting freaky together for one night and it’s all for a good cause. With money raised from doors open Oct. 29th?

JW: Musically, we will have Ill Atmospherics, Sybling Q, DJ Self this party, we will be buying 50-100 turkeys to donate to local families in Central Ohio for Thanksgiving.

Help, Ed Luna, PineBox and Adulture making their TRAUMA debut. We are also really excited to have Columbus’s drum and bass/electro legend TITONTON performing in Sugar Bars main TRAUMA 2009 will take place Oct 29 at Sugar Bar and Park St Patio (on Park St btw North Market and I-670). room.

Tickets are available at Evolved or online NW: Performances this year are looking to be the better than at www.evolvedbodyart.com/trauma and by calling ever. We have Only Flesh Anna and the Annadroids, Suicide Girls, Viva Valez and the Hypnotist. We are also bringing adult outlook. You can also get a full list of performers and film star and Cincinnati native Madison Young to the party. We activities from the website. can’t give out any details on any of the special performances We caught up with Nick and Jacob to find out more about this year’s event. We knew they couldn’t spill the beans completely, but they were able to share with us a few things to expect.

BERWICK BALL RETURNS

by Sable Coate Costumes were always encouraged, and paImagine the year is 1964, and you are given a trons of the Ball went to great lengths, somesecret phone number to call the day of a Hal- times even planning a year in advance, for loween party to find out its hush-hush locatheir Berwick creations. Many chose “drag” as tion. All because you are gay, living in their costume, while others who didn’t do eiColumbus, Ohio, and want to perhaps dress in ther, showed up in tuxedo or formal attire. drag, and fraternize with some of your gay Decorations became more elaborate as friends in celebration of the season and with- well. Special staging and sets were built to out the risk of being arrested. Well you don’t give a real professional feel. Again, all for just have to “imagine,“ because this is a true one night! (Oh how the gays can throw a story. party!)

ple fashion that included more affordable ticket prices and in a smaller venue. No dress codes, locked doors or secret numbers to call.

So here we are in 2009, a few weeks before Halloween, and “Berwick” is about to take its place on the calendar once again! The venue will be Score Bar, on Saturday, October 24th, located in downtown Columbus at 145 N Fifth Street. Tickets are on sale now at the bar for $8 in advance, and $10 at the door that evening. Tables of four are also available for $50. Doors open at 7p, and the main program This Halloween party was started by two As the Ball continued to grow through the 70s, begins at 8p. Light hor’ dourves will also be good friends, wanting to establish a 80s & early 90s, it was not uncommon for the served. friendly atmosphere for gay people to safely event to be sold out in advance, with several celebrate with each other. The tradition of the hundred people in attendance. In the mid 90s, Costumes are definitely still encouraged, and “phone call” continued throughout the coming it was even moved to Valley Dale Ballroom, in there will be 3 categories of competition with years until a progressive thinking straight an effort to accommodate the large numbers over $1000 in cash prizes awarded to the business owner offered up his restaurant for of attendees. As times changed, and there lucky winners. The categories are: 1) COUTUthe party. Because the party was getting so was no need for secrecy in the gay community, RIER (Fashionable Drag), 2) COSTUME, 3) MUlarge, the two friends agreed to give it a whirl. the Ball’s numbers began to dwindle, and it SICAL PERFORMANCE (1 or more in number).

Decorations were put up, windows were covcelebrated its final “Hoorah” on 2001. ered, and doors were locked upon everyone’s The theme for the evening is: “LEGENDS OF arrival. This place of business was (and still Today, there has been talk of reviving the Ball THE BALL.” Please join us for a night of history is) The Berwick Party House. The party contin- once again, and a few of its long time volun- and fun as the BERWICK BALL returns! ued to grow and flourish in its new home, and teers met and decided to give it just that. A became lovingly known as The Berwick Ball or REVIVAL! However, this time, it was agreed “Berwick” for short. that it needed to be resurrected in a more sim-

outlookcolumbus.com

I don’trememberifalatexgloveonthelefthandisfistingbottomortop.Doyouknow?

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by Michael Daniels The election this November 3 is replete with candidates but scarce of (seriously) contested races.

Many candidates are running unopposed, and in all but one opposed race the outcome is all but certain. This does not mean, however, that citizens can abdicate their responsibility to vote.

First, let’s address the one race that is going to be a true contest – the race for Municipal Court Judge between Democrat Mark Hummer and Republican Rick Brown.

Brown’s name carries a lot of weight, and most will assume he’s the D, not the R, thus he’ll be a threat. Hummer is a long-time magistrate and the most qualified for the position, but does not have the gregariousness of his challenger. We endorse Hummer in this race based on his experience and familiarity at the courthouse. Both candidates, we believe, would be acceptable on GLBT issues as they impact the court.

UNOPPOSED DOES NOT MEAN UNIMPORTANT 10

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be the top vote getter in this race, and has our endorsement. [Disclaimer: I am Ramona’s campaign manager. I am biased. I am also right.] Hanifah Kambon also has our support, and will take a seat on the Board. In the unexpired term, current Board President Carol Perkins is one of four writein candidates with no ballot candidate. Perkins’ name recognition will lead her to victory – and it should. Her leadership on the Board has earned her our endorsement. Whether the Board retains her as President remains to be seen. Regardless, after this election, we will certainly be applying pressure to effect a swift change to CCS’s discrimination and bullying policies.

The following candidates will win.

Of this we are certain. They are unopposed. Traditionally, we don’t endorse in unopposed races – but to hell with tradition this year.

We’re stoked about the re-election of Municipal Court judges Ted Barrows, Carrie Glaeden, Anne Taylor, In the other contested races, and Harland Hale. We’re excited which will not really be contests at that Rick Pfeiffer will remain as all, let’s start with Columbus City City Attorney, and that elder Council. If ever there were an op- statesman and truthsayer Hugh portunity for Republicans to reDorrian will continue to command claim a seat on Council, this the purse strings as City Auditor. would be the year, but the FCRP All of these candidates have our has failed to field a candidate full endorsement. with any name recognition or legitimacy. Matt Ferris might have had Judges William Pollitt Jr, Julia Dora chance, had he not allowed him- rian, and David Tyack will also reself to be the mouthpiece of twin take their seats on the bench. buffoons Bill Todd and Terry Casey in their ill-fated, misleading, and As for ballot issues, one is easy, dangerous campaign to defeat two are boring, and one is ripAugust’s city tax initiative. Ferris snortin’ casino fight – again. now has name recognition, but no credibility. Democrats Priscilla Issue 4 is a Franklin County ChilTyson, Eileen Paley, and Troy Miller dren Services tax levy replacement will waltz to victory and have our and DECREASE. Yes, folks, this endorsement. Tyson and Paley are levy will pass and actually delongtime community allies. We crease your taxes while supplehave no doubt that Miller will be menting the FCCS general fund. on the right side of progressive is- We endorse its passage – as we sues, but once again – and this continue to praise and hold actime in print – encourage him to countable FCCS and its outreach reach out and expand his knowl- to our community. edge of various minority communities.

Issues 1 and 2 are foregone conclusions. Issue 1 allows the state The race for Columbus Board of to issue bonds to provide compenEducation is something of a jum- sation to veterans of the Persian ble, made messy by SNAFUs in Gulf, Afghanistan, and Iraq Wars. signature collection on the part of No brainer. Issue 2 creates the two incumbents, one of whom isn’t Ohio Livestock Care Standards even running now. For the three Board that will help move agriculfull terms, there are three ballot ture ahead in this State by precandidates and as many write-ins. scribing standards for animal care Let’s be honest – write-ins don’t and well-being that will maintain stand a chance unless the ballot food safety, encourage locally candidates are totally off the deep grown and raised food, and proend, and even though Mike Wiles tect Ohio farms and families. The is often batshit unpredictable, he’s board will be made up of thirteen not a wacko, and thus will win.

Ohio residents including represenBoard Member Ramona Reyes will tatives of Ohio family farms, farm-

Voting for casinos would keep thousands upon thousands of dollars in the State from Virginia West alone.

ing organizations, food safety experts, veterinarians, consumers, the dean of the agriculture department at an Ohio college or university, and a county humane society representative. This is Ohioans taking care of Ohioans by keeping control of Ohio agriculture squarely in the hands of an Ohiocontrolled entity made up of people who work in and research our food every day. It is possible to have humane yet businessfriendly livestock standards. There is no greater basic need than a healthy food supply and so we agreed this board does belong in the Constitution. We endorse yes on both Issues.

Ah, now on to Issue 3. Casinos in Ohio. Again. We’ve endorsed yes on every previous casino amendment and are inclined to do so again for this initiative. We believe that 34,000 jobs will be created – some permanent, some temporary, but all within our borders. We don’t care from where those workers come – they will live here, eat here, spend here, and many will stay here. We welcome the retention of $1B in state. We like the fact that new roads and bridges and infrastructure will have to be built to support the casinos in Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, and Toledo – this means job creation and growth. And we aren’t concerned that church festivals and VFW halls might lose their ability to have bingo and casino gaming – first, we don’t believe that officers will be out trying to make sure that Father Fulano isn’t spinning a roulette wheel in the parking lot at Our Lady of Blessed Slots, and second, if they ‘gamble’ with fake money, it doesn’t matter.

These arguments are, as ever, nothing more than scare tactics on the part of those who oppose gaming in any form. We’ve heard the arguments before about causing gambling addicts and people losing their rent money at the craps tables and the horrible crime and blah blah blah. We don’t believe that now any more than we did the last three times we endorsed. The only thing that gives us pause on this initiative is the exclusion – and we believe possibly therefore the death – of the horse racing industry in Ohio.

We would hate to see this noble and historic agricultural and cultural resource shrivel any further than it already has. But we have to vote, and we’ll vote yes on Issue 3.

We can’t wait for next May … imagine what we’ll have to say for THAT set of races. We just might endorse in a primary for the first time … you never know. outlookcolumbus.com

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COMMUNITY RESOURCES

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Malcolm remains a major sponsor, 3 years past from our purchase of outlook! Thanks, Dad!

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THE MARCH ON WASHINGTON

By Wayne Besen Fresh off its wing-nut wingding on the National Mall, the far-out fringe held its “Values Voter” summit in Washington last week. The highlight was jilted former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, starting a brand new religion - “MEvangelical Christianity.“ In her remarkably self-centered, narcissistic speech, she cast herself as a martyr on a mission and repeatedly had to remind the audience that she wasn’t as stuck up as she appeared on stage.

Prejean’s introspective idolatry was almost outdone by Michael Schwartz, the chief of staff for Sen. Tom Coburn. For those who do not remember, Coburn is the Oklahoma Republican who once criticized the movie Schindler’s List for its nudity. Thank God for our watchdog, Senator Coburn, or lusting after malnourished and gaunt Holocaust victims might have caught on.

With a mentor like Coburn, it was only natural for Schwartz to become an expert on pornography, and we were fortunate to have him share his wisdom at a Values Voter discussion on “The New Masculinity.“ On the cusp of insulting gay people, Schwartz told the rabid-right crowd that he was about to get “politically incorrect.” Why bother with a disclaimer, as if gay bashing is actually controversial at such rallies? If he really wanted to shock the crowd, he would have introduced “Schwartz’s List” - naming all the social conservatives caught in tawdry sex scandals. But, alas, he only had an hour, clearly not enough time for this endeavor.

Schwartz called pornography a “blight” and a “disease.“ Although he failed to point out it disproportionally afflicts Republicans, with “Red States” having the highest rates of pornography subscriptions.

The porno politico then agreed with an “exgay” friend of his that said, “All pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards. Now think about that. And if you, if you tell an 11year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy?

I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants. You know, that’s a, that’s a good comment. It’s a good point and it’s a good thing to teach young people.”

So, straight porn will turn you gay and Holocaust nudity is erotic. Just plain, homespun common sense.

Now that the loons have finally left DC, there is the question of whether the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community should march

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on Washington. The main event is scheduled for October 11th and it is highly anticipated by a new breed of Internet-age activists.

There is, however, opposition from many local GLBTQ organizations and movement activists who believe that resources spent in Washington would be put to better use fighting battles in the states.

I am highly sympathetic to statewide leaders who have performed heroic work, even though they lack crucial resources. And they are correct that the GLBTQ movement needs to continue fighting and educating at the local level.

This will not only bring us victory in the states, but will change the facts on the ground in congressional districts, increasing the chance Congress will vote for equality.

Still, I agree with Equality Across America organizer Cleve Jones and long-time activist David Mixner that now is the time to go to Washington. No matter how much state organizers would prefer we march on state capitols, it is not the same. A rally in sleepy towns like Tallahassee or Albany changes your afternoon plans, while a trip to DC changes your life.

Detractors of the big march say that not enough organizing has been done to lobby members of Congress. But, what exactly would these citizen-lobbyists say that has not already been said by Human Rights Campaign lobbyists 1,000 times before? Besides, those who come to DC can always lobby the Representative in their district when they return home.

The march is really about inspiring a new generation. One of the highlights of my young activism career was attending the 1993 March on Washington. It moved me to a lifetime of advocacy and I believe that today’s youth deserve the same opportunity to come to DC and be counted that I got.

Let’s not be jaded and forget how mesmerizing it was to step on the lawn and witness a sea of homosexuals and their allies campaigning for equal rights. I think those who oppose the march should close their eyes and relive the experience.

This march will likely be smaller than those in the past due to the economic recession. It will likely not spur an overnight legislative victory.

But, it will invigorate and initiate a fire inside thousands of activists that will burn long after the last candle is blown out on the National Mall. And, as a bonus, compared to the crazies who marched last week, a gay pride march will finally seem positively boring. © 2009 Wayne Besen. All rights reserved. www.waynebesen.com Wooop! Woooop! Mom jeans alert! This is NOT a drill! Woooooop! Wooooop!

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See our endorsements on page 10. Then VOTE!

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WE NEED TO MARCH

by Jennifer Vanasco The Equality March is coming Oct. 11. But not everyone is convinced it should.

In a press call this week, Cleve Jones – one of the circle of activists around Harvey Milk and the man who first decided to have a march – was still justifying why there should be one.

“It is simply a matter of fact,” he said, “True equality can only come from the federal government.”

He said that he “rejects the notion that there’s a finite number of volunteers at any given time. And there’s an equal amount of money spent every weekend in major cities at parties.”

He adds that no one questions whether LGBTQ Americans should sink their money into putting Prop 8 back on the ballot; but even if we win back marriage in California, he says, it almost doesn’t matter – because gays and lesbians in California, just like gays and lesbians in Maine or Connecticut or Iowa or even Massachusetts – won’t have full civil rights until the federal government says we all do.

The Equality March was just announced in June, a scant five months before its date of Oct. 11.

It is operating on a shoestring budget (reporters on the press call asked if there was going to be enough money for a sound system; yes, Jones said).

It is taking place in an economy that makes it difficult for people to spend extra money to bus or fly in.

It is being held over a three-day holiday weekend, when most of Washington, DC will be out of town and members of Congress won’t be available to lobby.

I worry that a small, ineffective march may be worse than no march at all. At a crucial point, when a bill repealing DOMA is being introduced in the House, when ENDA looks likely to pass, when there is talk that repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell might finally be taken up, a lackluster march may make it seem that we don’t have enough passion or clout to back the politicians who support our bills.

We can’t let that happen.

So we must go march.

This is a fair point. I believe that states are good laboratories for federal policy. They let us try out different solutions (Domestic partnerships? Civil unions? Equal marriage?) on a small scale and see what works.

But at the point when we KNOW what works – gay marriage has been steaming along just fine in Massachusetts for five years – then it is time for the federal government to step up.

And he’s certainly right that now is the time to press Congress and the White House. We have an historic opportunity, he says, and we do. We have a friendly Congress and a friendly-ish President who are at least amenable to listening to our arguments.

So, in many ways, Cleve Jones is right. We should push our equality on a national level and now is the right time to do so.

This might not be the right march, but it is the one we have. We need it to be successful – and success is measured in the number of people who attend.

So get on a bus Oct. 11 - or a train or a plane, or your car. And join us. Come march because we have come too far to fail.

Cleve Jones says that this Equality March has one demand: Equal rights for LGBT Americans under civil law in all 50 states.

Let’s make sure that demand is heard – and registered – by showing up.

Jennifer Vanasco is an award-winning, syndicated columnist. Follow her on Twitter at Twitter.com/JenniferVanasco. Email her at Jennifer.vanasco@gmail.com.

But it’s not clear to me that a march – and this march in particular – is the right way to do it.

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BrownistheNewBlue!

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gaily forward

Attention Whore

by Benji Michalek That’s right, you know who you are. It’s ok to love attention, but to what extreme would you seek it? Now, I’m aware that it’s fun to have a little flirtation in our lives. It lets us know that our libido is still active, and that we are not reliant on a batterypowered device. In current times, we are now able to mediate what type of methods we flirt and to what extent.

With the development of “Computer Mediated Communication” or CMC, we have been able to reach out to people without being face-to-face. There is a big difference between talking with someone and using CMC. When chatting with someone, you would never expect them to take a day to respond. The same goes for e-mails during CMC communication. You would never expect someone to respond to an email immediately upon receipt.

But, where do text messages fit in? And, how is it used to an attention whore’s advantage?

Texting has many advantages. Some are things like removing boredom, asking very personal questions, mediating conversation speed, brief notes, drawing out drama, and (of course) sexting.

Texts are a unique form of CMC that we treat like instant messaging, and other times we treat them like e-mails. However, to what extent do we use text messages as a source for attention? In many people’s minds, text messages are considered less invasive than a phone call and more personal than an e-mail. Also, many recent studies have concluded that CMC causes people to feel less liable for what’s said in comparison to if they were face-tooutlookcolumbus.com

face. Think about all those dirty online conversations you’ve had, than compare them to meeting someone for the first time out and about. More than likely you’re not going to clue them in on your various appetites in a live social setting… even hanky code is more subtle than that. But, it is easier to reduce embarrassment by chatting about things through CMC versus face-to-face, because you can avoid the immediate repercussion of revealing too much information and dealing with the consequences.

Another interesting thing about texting is that we receive a certain amount of gratification when we receive a text message.

And with pleasure always comes pain.

Smith and Williams (2005) discovered that ostracism through text messaging can render actual physical pain in people.

What this means is that by sending out a text and receiving the response gives you an actual upper hand. This is assuming the opposite party has some sort of emotional investment. A flirtatious text message can make someone’s day, even when they are not interested in the opposite party. And, if the favor isn’t returned, in a sadomasochistic sense, the attention whore is more than likely gaining greater gratification now that they have the upper hand of someone wanting them. Texts messages are common and non-committal methods of communication, which leads to the conclusion that there is less remorse to be felt.

Even nonchalant communication through various adult connection websites generally occurs in a formula. Connect with someone mildly interesting, flirt, exchange some pics, flirt, flirt, “welp gtg” once satiated. Apply this to text messaging and it’s

a whole new personalized beast. With text messaging there is no indication of one party or the other being available for chat, but it is just as easy to get caught in a flirting game with someone you know better than a random online acquaintance.

He or she could be someone you flirted with at the bar, an ex, or even an online friend that you exchanged numbers with.

In the end, if both of you are just seeking some attention until the next best thing comes along it may be a good match. But, if one party is unaware of the others intentions it could be a painful incidence.

With 65% of all romantic relationships starting online, non-committal forms of communication are important to ensure that no one feels pressured. Text messaging was designed to be a quick form of communication, and even more instantaneous than email. But, with this new trend comes new forms of courtship methods. In some situations, pulling some heartstrings by not responding to a text message can be cruel. So, if you ever have a doubt about someone’s intentions, a novel idea would be to just call them.

Don’t draw it out. If they’re really interested, they will pick up the phone if they can. I know talking on the phone is a little antiquated. But, it is much easier to figure out someone’s intention via voice than closely chosen verbiage over text messaging. If you still have doubts about a texting attention whore in your midst, meet them in person and gather a final opinion.

Since texting is so non-committal, there really is nothing stopping you from just hitting delete and ending the whole game.

Check out our podcast on itunes or at www.gailyfwd.com. Colorful facts for colorful lives.

badapple:iphonemakerssaidthey’dhavesmstextingbylatesummer.welltheydidn’treleaseittillseptember25,akaearlyfall.falseadvertisinganyone?

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TransformingTheFuture,StepbyStep Ft Hayes High School Principal Milton Ruffin

by Michael Daniels

tive, yet somewhat contrarian, philosophy from experience. Ruffin’s acaFt Hayes High School in Columbus is demic credentials are nearly all in the widely renown as a top-rate educafield of music. “I grew up playing bass tional institution, where students in a garage band, playing R&B and achieve, diversity abounds, and funk,” he laughs. “Then I learned to awards pile up. At the helm of this sing gospel and play piano in my vanguard is Milton Ruffin – musician, grandmother’s church.” Ruffin’s edueducator, and leader. In his third-floor cation was all by experience – and office in Building 64, Ruffin and I dis- perhaps genetics; his second cousin cussed his philosophies, his passions, was David Ruffin, lead singer for The and his pupils.

Temptations.

I started by asking him why Ft Hayes attracted the best of the best. “We don’t,” he said bluntly. “We’re a lottery school, so we get a very representative sampling of students. What sets us apart is the commitment, talent, and involvement of our teachers, administrators, and the community. That creates an inspiring culture where average students become good and where good students become great.”

“So you’re the classic example, then, of young people rising to the expectations set before them?” I asked.

“Absolutely,” he replied, a slight grin crossing his face. “We create here a transforming environment. In many schools, you’ll hear the staff talking about ‘giving students a voice.’ That’s not my philosophy. My philosophy is to teach each of our students how to use the voice he or she already has, and how to harmonize that voice with the rest of the community.”

“I had a professor who basically told me I couldn’t do it – that I didn’t have what it takes,” Ruffin recalled. “So, to make a long story short, I started teaching on my own, in a basement suite at the Greystone Building. [Ed Note: that suite is directly across the hall from the current outlook offices.]

After a while, the University agreed to re-admit me, on probation, and I was able to eventually earn my Bachelor’s in Music Education.”

How does he keep his staff motivated, I asked. “I think it’s my leadership style,” he replied. “I don’t do much dictating. I do a lot of facilitating, and expect my staff and my administration to fully participate in shared decisionmaking. I encourage them to be cutting edge and to take risks. I challenge them to understand the box, then think and act outside of it.”

From there, Ruffin earned his Master’s in Music Education, taught music at Monroe Middle School, earned his Principal’s certification, was promoted to Asst Principal, then Principal at Monroe, and for the past 5 years has been Principal at Ft Hayes.

Perhaps Ruffin comes by this effec-

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“When I got to college (first at Youngstown State, then later at The Ohio State University), I had no formal music training. Imagine entering into a college-level journalism program, but not really knowing the alphabet.

That’s how I felt. I knew how to play music and I loved music, but I didn’t have any of the underlying theory or coursework.” Ruffin squeaked out a 2.0 GPA, just barely enough to graduate with his Bachelor of Music degree.

And he knew what he wanted to do – he wanted to teach music.

positions at both The Ohio State University and Denison University, teaching gospel choir at both institutions.

I asked Ruffin why Ft Hayes is such a supportive and welcoming place for queer kids, and kids of queer parents.

He didn’t hesitate with his answer.

“It’s our respect for diversity,” he said.

“Diversity in everything – in art, in thinking, in race, in sexuality, in all aspects. Art and creativity are great equalizers here, and our students understand the importance of understanding points of view and perspectives that are not their own.”

“If you’re looking for conformity,” he chucked, “then Ft Hayes is probably not the place for you.”

FHHS has distinguished itself in many of the arts, and is now coming into its own in the language/writing arts as well. “We have a monthly student newspaper, The Shot,” Ruffin said, “and an annual literary journal called Identity. [Ed note: Outlook Media proudly underwrites 100% of the printing costs of The Shot.] We also have a state of the art recording studio and are producing compilation CDs of our students’ work. We’re working on putting in place a program of arts marketing where we can retail these works at small and large stores throughout the area, and contracts with our students whereby they can receive ongoing royalties when their work sells.”

Ruffin is inspiring, talented, and committed to his students’ success, and to his own music. To learn more about Fort Hayes, visit www.fthayes.com. To keep up with Ruffin playing jazz and gospel around town, friend him on Facebook. He’s Milton Vaughn Ruffin.

You won’t regret your association with To his nay-saying professor back then, Ruffin, and we’re proud to be part of I say “Pffftt.” Ruffin now holds his the Ft Hayes family that he leads. post at Ft Hayes, as well as teaching

FortHayesbeganin1861asaCivilWararmoryandarsenalpost.Itissaidtohaveghostlymanifestationsthroughoutthecampus.Boo!

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Get Framed! Tim and his staff do ALL of our stuff. Come by the office and see their work first hand.

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Minering in Scarlet & Gay

by Elliot Fishman

and alumni association officials such as travel. recognized the marketing value of a Ohio State’s “scarlet and gay” busi- GLBT alumni society.

“Some of our students were telling ness isn’t just about football tickets us that they already had financial and tailgate parties, says the leader At the same time, said Miner, a aid to cover their academic basics,” of the university’s GLBT alumni group of leaders determined that an he said, “but that they needed group. official GLBT alumni group could funding for travel, say to study serve an important advocacy role at GLBT issues in another country.”

“Our mission is to engage GLBT the university. alums in making the university bet“We were one of the first schools in ter for current students” at The Ohio “We became advocates for the best the country to take this approach to State University, said Jack Miner, possible experience GLBT persons scholarships.” president of the Ohio State GLBT could have at Ohio State,” Miner Alumni Society. said.

The Ohio State University administration has been very supportive of According to Miner, society memMiner said the group: the GLBT society’s efforts, said bers benefit from football ticket op- • Led the fight for domestic partner Miner, even when the alumni assotions, away-game travel, and other benefits for OSU employees; ciation was not. social opportunities. They serve as • Ensured that all university diverimportant GLBT advocates at the sity policies are inclusive of the Several years ago, the society began university. They also raise money GLBT community; to incorporate the phrase “Scarlet for the university—and lots of it.

• Made sure the university has and Gay” into its branding—a play been visible at a variety of GLBT on the university’s infamous color Overall, Ohio State’s alumni and community events, from Pride cele- scheme. “A couple of people at the friends contributed more than $200 brations to HRC dinners to Alumni Association didn’t want the million to the school last year. That AIDSWalk fundraisers. phrase to be associated with the makes The Ohio State University alumni logo,” according to Miner, Alumni Association a major busi“Our goal is to make sure that cur- who said he thought they feared ness and important economic driver rent and prospective GLBT students backlash from other alumni. for the university. know they will have a positive experience at Ohio State,” he said.

“The university administration No figures are available to show stepped in and said ‘we think this how much GLBT alumni gave to One particularly successful area of brand is important to the university OSU, but Miner said GLBT Alumni advocacy has been the encourage- and sends an important message Society scholarships alone conment of transgender-friendly unito our students’,” said Miner. The tributed more than $15,000 to GLBT versity policies. Miner attributes association subsequently dropped and allied students last year. this success to the society’s decithe objections. sion to single out transgender isThe 1000-member society, with a sues.

And in one case, the father of a mailing list three times that size, is freshman GLBT scholarship recipione of the largest and most suc“When we took a step back and ent did not want his child to accept cessful GLBT alumni groups in the benchmarked ourselves against the award. country. It is also one of the most other universities, we realized that successful alumni groups at Ohio they were lumping trans rights in “Important university officials State. with the other issues,” often leaving called the father directly, encouragtransgender issues as an aftering him to allow his child to accept “We won the Outstanding Alumni thought, said Miner. the award,” said Miner.

Society award so many years in a row that they had to retire us from As a result of the OSU society’s ef- The GLBT society’s programming the competition and put us in a forts, Ohio State is now a leader in isn’t only about serious matters, separate Gold Star category,” said such matters as record changes for however. The alumni association Miner, who has been president of transgendered persons and ensur- allocates tickets to a home football the twelve-year-old group since ing that new buildings will have game each season, and the society 2002. trans-friendly bathroom setups. is one of the only affiliates to also sponsor an away trip, such as this Miner said the society, which is an Miner said the group also took a year’s travel to Cleveland for the officially chartered affiliate of the unique approach to the GLBT schol- OSU vs. Toledo game. alumni association, was founded in arships it funds.

1997, just when the university was Like other alumni groups, though, beginning to look at market segFirst, he said, the scholarships are the GLBT alumni society’s fortunes mentation in its alumni relations. based upon the applicants’ service often coincide with those of the to the GLBT community, rather than Buckeyes football team.

“Instead of trying to engage a student’s specific sexual orienta325,000 alumni in one event, the tion. “The result is that we have “When the football team is strong university and association realized scholarship recipients who are and it looks like we’re going to have it was better to do events for tremendous advocates for the GLBT a great season, we get a big bump smaller groups of alums” who had community, but we don’t know what in membership,” Miner said, “but in common interests, he said. Various their sexual orientation is,” he said. seasons which aren’t so strong, we alumni clubs and societies have tend to lose members.” been formed around geographic lo- In addition, Miner said the group cations, academic majors, and for- has turned from funding only tuition For more information on The Ohio State UniGLBT Alumni Society, Scarlet & Gay, mer students’ activities, such as and books to providing scholarships versity visit: http://www.osuglbt.org. cheerleading and band. University for less traditional student needs,

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Ever wonder if the tin man had used a silicon lubricant then maybe he wouldn’t have rusted so much... and he wouldn’t have been so uptight?

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Thankyou2008-09sponsors,andwelcome2009-2010!Seepage27tojointhem!

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CarrieandLisaarenotrelated.They’rejustpagematesinthisissue.

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IT’S EASY TO BE A GREEN ACTIVIST

by Deborah Steele Fall is my favorite season in Columbus, Ohio. Every year we get a fresh batch of new students who come to our city for an education. Once here everyone soon finds we are also a political hot bed. Add in our swing-state status and the importance of Ohio is endless when it comes to fighting climate change.

nities around the globe have announced their plans. In Bangledesh, school children are planting 350 trees, scientists will hang banners on statues on Easter Island, and 350 scuba divers will be at the Great Barrier Reef. At each event people will gather for a big group photo that will depict this important number of 350. At the end of the day all the pictures will be liked together via the web. This will be a powerful visual petition linking together the entire planet that will be delivered to the media and world leaders.

2009 must be a year of action to meet the challenge of global warming. In early December our president, along with leaders from around the world, will be negotiating a new internal treaty to address climate change. The last time such a meeting took place was in 1997 in Kyoto, Japan. We all have heard about our missed opportunity in not signing on to the Kyoto Protocol. Our country stands as being the largest historic emitter of greenhouse gasses, but to date has yet to rise to our global responsibility in meeting this challenge. This time the meeting is in Copenhagen, Denmark. How can we send off our president confident to be the leader the world, as we are looking for him to be?

By now you have to be asking yourself, “Why this number?”

A year ago, our greatest climatologist - NASA’s James Hansen - and his team produced a landmark series of studies. They showed that if we let the amount of carbon in the atmosphere top 350 parts per million, we can’t have a planet “similar to the one on which civilization developed and to which life on earth is adapted.” But one does not have to be any kind of “-ologist” to know the planet needs our help, and participating in solutions is always more fun than toiling over our problems.

One opportunity to do so is a rally to be held at the statehouse on Saturday, October 24th at 3:50pm. I invite you, and anyone you know, who has an interest in the environment to show up and participate. This is an invitation to help build a movement, the real grassroots kind of movement, to take one day to call attention and try and stop the climate crisis. This is part of an international day of climate action. We will have people young, old, scientists, writers, videographers, cyclists, and people who care about our future sharing their vision together. At the same time showing the world that people in Columbus, Ohio can catch a football game, and care about the environment in the same day.

Log on to www.350.org/columbus to sign up for our rally at the statehouse. Already people in more than 1,000 commuoutlookcolumbus.com

This event will be close to the one-year anniversary of when Barack Obama himself came to our city on the eve of the election. Thousands gathered at the statehouse to hear his vision for our world and country. Many individuals worked on his campaign knocking on doors and making phone calls to voters. The past few months have proven we cannot assume one person can be the change alone. When you come to the statehouse feel free to break out any Obama Tshirts you may have, clarifying our message that we want him to be a leader in Copenhagen. Our leader can only follow the people, and we in Columbus can be that voice for a better, more environmentally sound future.

Deborah Steele is Field Organizer in Columbus for Greenpeace USA. Want to participate? She can be reached at 614.323.1703.

I wonder how many people tan then wash their sweaty tanning undies afterward, if they wear undies that is.

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your bones and float into your cells. When you can feel the question reverberating throughout your body, sit still and listen to your body’s response.

by Regina Sewell Notice the tugs of longing, the unmet needs, the pockets of anger and resentment. Notice these Keep true to the dreams of your youth. and let yourself go even deeper, past the demands (Last night’s fortune cookie) for “easy” answers like, “If only I had the newest In your heart of hearts, what would your life be like iPhone (or Blackberry);” “If only my nose wasn’t so big (or my butt wasn’t so fat, or…);” “If only my if you kept true to your life’s dream? What would parents could really accept that I’m queer;” “If you be doing? How would you be living? What only I had a partner…” Think of these longings as would your interactions with others be like? Not gateways to a deeper truth. When folded in with, the fantasy that you won the lottery and spent “If only I had enough money,” and “If only people your time lounging around in the resort of the could accept who I really am,” you have a week, eating bon bons and drinking chocolate mélange of desires that relate to a need for a martinis without gaining weight or hurting your deep, authentic connection with others, a need for liver. That’s an escapist fantasy and while it makes for a nice vacation, as a lifestyle, the peo- physical and emotional safety, a need for physical ple who have tried it haven’t ended up too happy and emotional security, and a need for love. These (think Britney Spears and Paris Hilton). What I am are universal needs that we all share, just like we need food, air, and water. If these needs were met asking about is a different sort of dream. What - if you felt totally accepted, safe, secure, and would you do if you weren’t focused on keeping your health insurance, paying rent, and paying off loved - what would that little voice in the core of your credit card debt? How would your life be dif- your being want? ferent if you weren’t controlled by the question, You may find that part of this answer lies in the “What would people think?” activities that bring you contentment. Do you, for Take a moment to breathe this question in so that example, feel grounded when you are puttering in your garden? Do you love to write, paint, dance, you feel it throughout your body. Let it sink into

Dream Mapping

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make music, sing, or act? Do you, like Julia Childs, find great joy in cooking? Do you feel better when you think you have made a contribution to someone else’s well being? Does your heart sing when you are running, biking, hiking, surfing, kayaking, or some sort of outdoors physical activity? Do you feel best when you are playing sports, working out at the gym, or doing yoga? Do you get excited about your stamp collection, your classic car, or your rose bushes? Are you passionate about making jewelry, knitting, or decorating cakes?

to “fit in?” What would you do differently if someone cast a spell on you that blocked your fear of rejection and allowed you to radically accept yourself as you are?

There is a part of you, sort of an internal navigation system that has been waiting for you to ask these questions so that it could guide you to where you long to be. Let yourself sit with the questions and the information that bubbles up to the surface. You don’t have to do anything but observe. This process is like making a soup that Another part of this answer may lie in recognizing simmers on the back burner for hours while you go the places in your life where you aren’t authentic. on with the rest of your life. If you’ve been stifling In general, are you in touch with your feelings or this answer for years, it may take awhile to do you feel emotionally shut down? Can you openly emerge from the depths of your unconscious shed tears when your heart is crying or do mask mind. Nonetheless, the answers will come if you your tears with jokes? Are you able to express your let yourself be open to them. sense of vulnerability or do you bluster at people when you feel afraid? Are you about to be com**Thanks to Derrick for writing me and lighting pletely honest with people or do you say, “Yes,” the spark for this with his question about sissywhen you want to say, “No,” or “No,” when you phobia. I know this doesn’t sound like it relates, want to say, “Yes?” Are you able to compassion- but, somehow, I think it does. ately confront people when they do something that Regina Sewell is a mental health counselor. To ask a question, hurts or feels uncomfortable, or do you pretend a column topic, read about her approach to counsellike everything is OK? Are you able to be your true propose ing, or check out her books and other writing, go to: www.Regiself or do you feel the need to dress or act in a naSewell.com. Her most recent publication, “Sliding Away” more masculine or a more feminine way in order can be found in Knowing Pains: Women on Love, Sex and

Wouldn’t it be fun just to punch him in the face?

Work in Our 40s, edited by Molly Rosen.

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Cruisin’

by Mette Bach

She sounded the way I sound when I get on my “Wanna go porn shopping with me?” My friend’s Pandemic Preparedness Rant. (There is no such voice sounded eager on the phone. “I need some thing as ‘too ready’ or ‘too well-stocked’.) stuff to help me…visualize.”

“You’ll be fine,” I assured her, “Maybe you’ll “Um…” I paused, “I’m in jammies. 30 Rock is meet someone; maybe you won’t. But one on.” thing’s for sure: you need to chillax, dude.”

“Okay. How about sex toys, then?”

“What’s this about?” I stirred my Ovaltine and paused the show on a still frame of Alec Baldwin stroking his hair.

“Easy for you to say. I’m terrified. Maybe things have changed but it used to be that lesbians were not exactly fond of women like me.”

“It’s been so long,” she said, her voice shy and uncomfortable, “since, well…you know.”

“Well, it’s not like you’re wearing a tee-shirt summarizing your identity. Just be your charming self and if anyone has a problem with who you are, tell them to get lost.”

“You had sex?”

“Nobody says that.”

“Yeah.”

“Fair enough. Then tell them that bisexuality is a completely valid sexuality. They’ll like your chutzpah.”

A mother of two rosy-cheeked toddlers, my friend is also a kinky-curious bisexual who hasn’t been with a woman for over a decade. And “You’re coming with me, right? As my wing she’s mid-divorce. And she has a full-time job. man…or “wing woman”…or, you know, moral support.”

In a conversation we had a few months ago, she reasoned that before she even attempts to get “Ah, Jeez,” I said. “Me?” back in the scene, she should get a few items for her tickle trunk (Yes, that’s a Mr. Dressup ref- “Yeah. Come on. It’ll be fun. I can learn from you erence). She based this reasoning on Shakti and copy your moves.”

Gawain’s book called Creative Visualization in which she urges her readers to see the object of “Wha?!?! Did you just say you could learn from their desire in their minds’ eye in order to mani- my moves?” fest it as reality.

I adjusted myself and momentarily ceased trim“Now? Right this second?” I groaned. ming my cuticles with my little Swiss Army knife. “I hate to tell you this but if copying my “The kids are asleep and my ex’s aunt is here moves is your big plan of action, then you better and she said I could take off for an hour. Beget your boots on and go get that porn because sides, there’s a womens’ dance next weekend you are so not going to be scoring.” and I want to be prepared.”

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Smartcar.Smartpropertymanagement.

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Chris won a costume contest at Union for his Grilled Chicken Cesar Salad costume. He didn’t do so well at Trauma.

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Rust is a red or brown oxide coating on iron or steel caused by the action of oxygen and moisture. The Rusty Bucket is a good place to get tanked.

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Membership has its privileges. Network Sponsors get permanent name tags. Pretty cool, huh?

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Tupperware makes a Thatsa™ Mega Bowl which is 7Ÿ"h x 16"w, which should be big enough to store a regular human head.

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21st Century College Queers

by William Ashley It was the summer before my freshman year of college, and I was visiting my boyfriend at The Ohio State University. I had recently graduated from high school in a tiny farm village of 2,000 citizens, so I always relished a chance to come to Columbus. We were holding hands as we strolled along High Street when a van drove up behind us and began to slow down. We held our breath in anticipation of the slander that was inevitably heading our way. Just as we assumed, a stereotypical homophobe – complete with mullet and mustache – leaned out of the driver’s side window.

do,” she said. Before Brazwell was hired at CSCC in 2007, there was no one at the college who worked on GLBTQ outreach. There were attempts at creating student organizations, but nothing substantial had come to fruition.

“I came to Columbus State from Otterbein College, where the gay and lesbian students were out and active on campus,” she said. Immediately, Brazwell began working on a plan to bring that same attitude out among the students at CSCC.

Brazwell and the diversity office created a faculty advocacy committee, which they named Spectrum. They assumed that with a staff “Thank you for being proud!” he shouted before model, a student group could be founded soon driving away. Stunned, we gripped each other after. She began a campaign to find GLBTQ stueven tighter and stared at the retreating van. dents at Columbus State; most notably, she discovered several of these students during the This memorable event in my past reflects what college’s “Welcome Back” event at the beginit means to be queer on campus in the 21st ning of the academic year. Within one day, 30 century. True, it all depends on where you go to GLBTQ students had signed up to aid Brazwell school and how much of your life you choose to in the creation of a student organization. express. But with great risk comes great reward.

For those of us who are out and proud, there is “There were all different types of students,” she no better time to be a gay college student in said. “But they all wanted something for themAmerica. Additionally, with all the resources selves at Columbus State.” available to queer students, it’s easier than ever before to hold your partner’s hand with pride.

From those 30 students, Brazwell selected a team of officers to get the group started. Soon, College and universities in central Ohio are not Cougar Pride was born. Since their conception, in short supply of these resources. From Ohio Cougar Pride had held several successful State to Columbus State, Denison to Capital – fundraisers, participated in a demonstration for leaders of colleges and universities are recog- the Day of Silence, co-hosted an AIDS-awarenizing the importance of diversity support. ness event with the Columbus College of Art and Design, and represented Columbus State in The pride of Ohio, our very own Ohio State, the annual Pride parade. boasts countless queer groups in every corner of its mammoth campus. OSU has flagshipStill, with all of these accomplishments, groups Common Ground and Fusion, as well as Brazwell knows that the group has a lot to do. queer groups for specific majors, ethnic groups, She is frustrated by the lack of diversity within and religious faiths. These include Gay and Les- the organization, stating that it resembles a bian Asian Fellowship, GLBT Issues in Medicine, “white male group.”

Grad Queers, Jewish Queers & Allies, Out in Business, and OutLaws.

In an attempt to attract minority students, Brazwell invited a gay Muslim to speak to The GLBTQ community continuously recognizes Cougar Pride in October 2008. Calling it her own Ohio State as a leader in progressive environ“liberal ignorance,” Brazwell did not anticipate ments. Gay.com rated Ohio State as one of the the events that followed. Several Muslims came Top Friendly Gay Football Colleges for its exciting to the discussion event and patronized the game-day crowds and welcoming atmosphere. guest speaker for blatantly going against his religious values.

Ohio State not only provides its students with proper resources for queer awareness, but it “They were furious. The speaker was visibly also gives support to staff and faculty. OSU of- scared,” she said. fers health care benefits to same-sex domestic partners of employees at the university. With a Unfortunately, Columbus State does not yet offer notarized affidavit that proclaims your love, you health benefits to same-sex domestic partners can provide your partner with a generous bene- of its faculty and staff. While Brazwell remains fit package to ensure their health and safety. hopeful, she does not anticipate a change in this policy in the near future. “We have only reAcross town, Columbus State Community Col- cently begun incorporating student life activilege is putting a lot of effort into building its ties into a technical college,” she said. “We first GLBTQ image. Kimberly Brazwell, coordinator for need for the administration to view the employdiversity and study abroad programs, spoke ees as multifaceted people.” about her determination to bring CSCC into the limelight of GLBTQ-friendly colleges.

Two other universities in the central Ohio area offer benefits to domestic partners: Denison “We’re on the right track, but we have a lot to University and Capital University. In addition to continued

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GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, is the leading national education organization focused on ensuring safe schools for all students.

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She noted that one of HRC’s most important resources is their web-based effort. They have a health benefits, both colleges have GLBTQ studatabase of known campus groups and available dent organizations. Denison’s group, Outlook, has scholarships for GLBTQ students. She is espea rich history of GLBTQ outreach in the university. cially proud that HRC now offers their own scholBiGLaw offers a safety sanctuary for Capital Law arship for queer students. “It’s finally part of the School students. program. We had over 1,000 applicants for three scholarships,” she said.

There is another small, specialized college in Columbus that is diligently working to build their Gingrich believes there is no clear way to define presence within the gay community. The Gay what it means to be queer on campus in the 21st Straight Student Alliance at the Columbus Colcentury. In her eyes, it depends on what school lege of Art & Design has seen a huge spark in you attend. She does admit that there is much their enrollment within the past two years. John more visible support for GLBTQ students. “It’s a Olson, recent graduate and former president of whole different world from when I was in colthe GSSA, believes that CCAD is quickly building lege,” she said. a substantial presence in the gay community for such a small college.

Olson, who is presently a graphic designer in Columbus, said that gay college students are “The GSSA is really focused on being a family and much more accepted today and make up an imhaving a sense of community,” he said. “We try to portant part of college campuses. “We’re living in help students make the best out of life at CCAD a time of change, and that excites students,” he and life in Columbus.” said. Olson said that students feel as though they are part of the change process, and that it is Olson estimates that the GSSA has been at CCAD simply “an exciting time to be a gay college stufor eight or nine years, but it was not until the dent.” last two years that the group became a formidable force on campus. He said there were only five For those who are searching for the perfect gayto ten people at meetings just five years ago, but, friendly college, Campus Pride provides a valuduring this past academic year, there were 70 at- able resource. Campus Pride, led by Executive tendees at the group’s opening meeting.

Director & Founder Shane L. Windmeyer, is a leading national organization for student leaders The organization focuses on promoting a feeling and campus organizations working to create a of safety and security for queer students, as well safer college environment for GLBTQ students. as presenting several social and educational Windmeyer recently denounced the popular events on campus. This past year they held their Princeton Review, which rates colleges on spe3rd annual amateur drag show, which was cific categories for specific student interests. In hosted by Nina West and featured Samantha an opinion-editorial featured in The Advocate, Rollins, Aneesa Love, Natasha West, and memWindmeyer claimed that the Princeton Review bers of Danger Productions. Two hundred people failed to provide accurate information for stuwere in the audience for the show, which helped dents trying to find a supportive educational atthe GSSA raise money for the Columbus AIDS mosphere. To combat the Princeton Review, Task Force. Along with raising money for AIDS Campus Pride created a Campus Climate Index. awareness, the group painted a mural in the bal- Windmeyer urges students to use the Campus cony of the Wall St. nightclub.

Climate Index, which was “developed with guidance from LGBT youths, higher-education profesOlson is proud that the GSSA has gone from a sionals, and prominent LGBT researchers, and small group of friends to a major campus organi- provides a rigorous, accurate assessment of polization. “We’re a very active part of campus and of cies, programs, and practices.” The best part: it’s Columbus,” he said. As a person who came to free, unlike the Princeton Review. college in the closet, he is excited to see students feel comfortable in their skin from the beginning The bottom line is that today’s college queers can of their time at CCAD. make the most of their higher education experience. We have the resources and the support that You may be wondering how these GLBTQ groups we need. It simply boils down to the decision of come into existence at colleges and universities. whether or not to let yourself flourish and grow One place that many colleges go to for advice on during a pivotal time in your life. starting outreach organizations is the Human Rights Campaign. Candace Gingrich, associate And there is no better time than now to flourish director of youth and campus outreach, has been as a college queer. This month, Students for the helping staff and students enhance their presNational Equality March (NEMStudents) is asking ence on campus since 1995. all supporters to descend upon Washington, DC. The National Equality March, being held October “We provide resources, tools, and information so 10-11, is the first march for GLBTQ rights in students can accomplish what they need to ac- Washington, DC since the Clinton presidency. complish,” she said. Gingrich knows that HRC can give people the tools they need to start a suc- It’s our generation, our time, and our country. We cessful GLBTQ outreach organization. “We are the have to make the most out of what we are given connector,” she said. and push the limits of those who resist against us. What is it like to be queer on campus in the “We can tell them how to organize events and 21st century? It’s pretty fucking awesome, if you talk to the administration,” she stated. Gingrich ask me. feels that HRC can learn how to help schools by looking at the successes and failures of outreach For more information on starting a GLBTQ awareness group at your college, visit www.hrc.org or www.campuspride.org. To efforts across the country. learn more about the National Equality March, check out www.nemstudents.org.

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Drinkwine.Raisemoney.EatSpanishfood.Can’tgowrong.

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The Queer Cause & the Culture Clash of East Meets West

by Paul D. Saltz As one of the executive officers of Cougar Pride, the student gay/straight alliance at Columbus State Community College, I have been privileged to both participate in the raising of LGBT concerns to the campus conscious, as well as observe the reception received by the student body at large. Like Columbus itself, the student body of Columbus State is very diverse. It is diverse in terms of age, socio-economic background, race, ethnicity, political leanings, and just about every other category under the sun. All of this creates a very rich learning environment where one is exposed to a variety of opinions and points of view.

The LGBT population has been extremely fortunate to receive an incredibly warm reception by the college administration, faculty, and staff.

Over all, the general student body has been receptive to the programming that has been provided and has even been open to dialogue, including students with a conservative bent.

While not all students have been vastly supportive, we have at least been politely tolerated by those who want nothing to do with us on a personal level. The only “incidences” that have occurred have been with international students, and with the Somali population in particular.

The first such situation arose when an openly gay Islamic man came to campus to give a presentation. He spoke about his coming out process and how he had reconciled being gay

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with his own faith. He also spoke about an organization he leads to help other Islamic LGBT persons come to terms with their identities and how it relates to their faith. What occurred was a group of Islamic students (predominately Somali) protested the presentation and even disrupted it. They claimed that the man did not give an accurate description of Islam and that he was blasphemous. The atmosphere has remained tense with the Somali community ever sense.

The second occurred during “Spring Fling” when campus organizations put out tables with resource information to distribute to students.

Amongst the resources Cougar Pride had at our disposal was a stack of pamphlets about a local Islamic LGBT support organization. These pamphlets were confiscated by a handful of Somali students who walked by the table.

It’s rather ironic that these students who came to America fleeing an oppressive social system would attempt to restrain the flow of ideas in their new home. However, it can be fairly argued that in terms of the monotheistic faiths, Islam is just barely starting to birth a progressive line of thought that began back in the 1960’s (and possibly even earlier) for Judaism and Christianity. These students are merely acting to prevent the “contamination” of their own faith by the movement of modernity. Yet religious evolution aside, how do LGBT students come to terms with such situations when the need for activism sparks a cultural clash between a predomi-

nately western movement with an eastern theocratic mindset?

I have always been a firm believer that fighting for ones rights and principles is one of the most fundamental acts a person can do as a citizen of this country. However, the point that must be acknowledged is that while most countries formed through the course of human history have been formed along bloodlines and ethnicities, our nation is delicately held together strictly upon the thread of an idea. It’s the idea that all people stand equal before the law and that everyone is free to live their lives to suit their own conscious. It is this idea that binds us together regardless of our racial, ethnic, and cultural/linguistic backgrounds. Our country only stands as long as the populace still collectively shares this idea. Once it no longer holds our nation, our culture dissolves. Thus our activism to demand the fulfillment of this idea is in fact an act to enforce the very fabric of our nation. Accordingly, I would never advise student LGBT groups to cease their important work. This does not mean that special care does not need to be taken.

Cultural assimilation, particularly between vastly different societies can take considerable time. It is reasonable to say that during such a transition that a person would anchor themselves to their religious beliefs. At such a time, beliefs can take a conservative, literalistic point of view. This can be compared to conservative Christians who anchor themselves to literalistic

Somali pirates are a big problem off the Somali coast. Irish pirates are fun drunks in Columbus.

beliefs as they move through a period of social change as a means of making sense of their world. While I would argue that it is not the most rational way to handle such a transition, it is a valid one nonetheless. Thus in essence we are dealing with a battle of the mind, a conflict between competing worldviews. The only difference is that instead of conservative Christians (which the LGBT has considerable experience in dealing with) we have conservative Islamists.

Yet the key difference is that these are people who are new to our country and culture. This gives LGBT students a prime opportunity.

International students tend to possess a willingness to immerse themselves within the culture and ideas of the new country. As our country is bound by an idea, LGBT students can stand as a shining example by manifesting it. LGBT students can hold to the ideas of open dialogue and rational debate. Extend an open invitation to discuss not only American culture, but on how LGBT persons have been at the forefront in shaping it. Also show an openness to learn about other cultures. Cross-cultural dialogue will be much more productive if there is a feeling of mutual respect for each other’s cultures and an earnest desire to understand one another. If it can be shown that the LGBT cause is merely a fulfillment of the idea of equality and freedom that binds our nation, not only can a level of respect and tolerance be achieved, but you may even be able to turn an opponent into an ally. outlookcolumbus.com

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Good thing the dart didn’t hit Greenland. We don’t think grapes even grow there.

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Doesanyonereallycareaboutthisboy’steeth?Imean,seriously?

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HALLOWEEN LISTINGS

AMUSEMENT PARKS & ZOOS:

Boo at the Zoo Columbus Zoo & Aquarium, 9990 Riverside Dr, 43065, 614.645.3400, www.columbuszoo.org: This delightfully haunting Halloween celebration offers candy stations, storytellers, magicians, a haunted train ride and other thrilling activities. Children are welcome to dress in costume. Only adults accompanied by a child or children under 13 years of age will be permitted to wear costumes on Zoo grounds. Oct 16-18. Fri 5p-9p, Sat 10a-9p, Sun 10a-8p; $6-$11, members free.

Cedar Point’s HalloWeekends http://www.halloweekends.com: Cedar Point gets spooky. Featuring the Magical House on Boo Hill, Monster Midway Invasion Celebration Parade, the Hay Bale Maze, Planet Spooky, and more, plus all the rides and screams you can handle. All month.

Fri 6p-12a, Sat 12p-12a, Sun 11a-8p; $20-$44.

Paramount’s Kings Island’s Halloween Haunt Kings Island Dr, Mason, www.visitkingsisland.com: The biggest scare-athon in the Midwest is bigger and badder than anything you’ve seen before and features more than 400 blood thirsty monsters, highly-intense attractions including chain-link mazes, frightening wooded trails, disturbing clowns in 3D and some of the most hair-raising rides on the planet! Oct 2-31 & Nov 1. 7p-1a; $20$26.

the resting place of some of Columbus’s best known and least known residents, but they all have fascinating stories and interesting architectural markers. We don’t promise ghosts - it is not that kind of tour - but we do promise that sort of autumn setting fit for your October mood. Meet at Huntington Chapel in the center of Green Lawn Cemetery. Call 614.221.0227 for tickets. Oct 18 2p4p, Oct 24 10a-12p; $7 members/$15 non-members.

HAUNTS: Dead Acres / Haunted Hoochie 13861 Broad St SW, Pataskala, 740.927.3568, www.deadacres.com: Dead Acres is a world class extreme haunted house rated #9 on Hauntworld magazine and the Wall Street Journal’s Top 13 Best Haunted Houses in America. Everyone has to go sometime. Thurs-Sat all month. Gates 6p, shows 8:30p until sold out. $17, VIP $35.

Drive Thru Haunted Park 4309 Lancaster Road, Granville, 740.587.2535: We aren’t walking like Egyptians, but we are inviting mummies, daddies and their little ghouls to the 2008 Drive Thru Haunted Park. Enjoy some haunting fun and bring the whole family out to Infirmary Mound Park October 28-31. We offer something unique for those who are sick of standing in line, cold and hungry just to be rushed through the same old haunted house or forest. Wed & Thu 7:30p-9:30p, Fri & Sat 7:30p-10:30p; $20 per vehicle.

HAUNTED TOURS: Worthington Ghost Tours OCTOBER 2 614.807.2626.Guides will share spooky stories of ghostly visits and information about the city’s historic buildings and early residents. Meet at the Old Rectory, 50 W New England Ave, Worthington.

7:30p & 9p; $10.

Green Lawn Cemetery Tours OCTOBER 18 & 24 A leisurely fall walk through the leaves in central Ohio’s most beautiful and historic cemetery, founded in 1848 by Howard Daniels. Green Lawn is outlookcolumbus.com

Forest of Fright 7295 Duncan Run Rd, Philo, 740.280.0952, www.forestoffright.org: Come visit Philo’s Forest of Fright, Muskingum County’s Largest Haunted Trails and Maze. Take a journey thru the outermost darkness. Be scared out of your minds as you enter the forest. The demented pumpkins come alive. Chainsaw murderers, killer clowns. Don’t bother trying to escape…they know all the shortcuts. Not recommended for children under 13. Fri & Sat thru Nov 1.

7:30p-11p; $10.

Ghostly Manor: A Haunting Experience Ghostly Manor Thrill Center, 3319 Milan Rd, San-

dusky, 419.626.4467, www.ghostlymanor.com: Be prepared! This old mansion instantly comes alive as the door closes behind you and your deepest fears are be revealed. Ghostly Manor is sure to give you a unique experience unlike any other. Thu & Sun 12p-10p, Fri-Sat 12p-12a; $11 for 10 & over, $6 for 9 & under.

Haunted Farm 5450 Old Millersport Rd, Pleasantville, 740.468.FARM, www.haunted-farm.com: Come and see what the Harvester, Silence, and Karver, has in store for you this year at the farm. View this early 1900’s historical homestead located in Central Ohio and hope that you don’t become part of the farm’s history. Try and find your way out of the Haunted Barn Maze. Explore the remains left in the fields on the Haunted Hayride Ride. Enjoy the bonfire, roasting marshmallows, enjoying some treats from the Crow’s Nest Shop or listening to the live entertainment in the barnyard on the weekends.

Check out the website for band dates and time.

Weekends all month, 7p-11:30p; $10 adults $8 kids under 10.

Haunted Hollow Olentangy Indian Caverns, 1779 Home Rd, Delaware, 740.548.7917, www.ahauntedhollow.net: The Haunted Hollow is an outdoor attraction featuring horrific mazes of terror. The Haunted Hollow is a family friendly attraction. Every Fri & Sat. 7:30p-11:00p; $10.

the old place, puppets of the growing darkness, shadows that sought human prey! The place was known only as The House of Nightmares. Awakened by trespassers and thrill seekers, the thing sent its minions to stalk and slay them in the twisting corridors and dark recesses of the building. But it craved more fear than the old house could provide.

Thurs-Sun all month. Fri-Sat 7:30p-12a, Sun & Thu 7:30p-10p; $17-27.

The Ohio State Reformatory Historic Site Haunted Prison Experience in Mansfield 100 Reformatory Road, Mansfield, 419.522.2644, www.shop.hauntedx.com: See the cell block hell come to life. No children under 13. Thru Nov 1. Thur 7p-11p, Fri-Sat 7p-12a, Sun 7p-10p; $15.

Pataskala Haunted Forest 9383 Refugee Rd, Pataskala, 740.927.7376, www.pataskalahauntedforest.com: Come calling on the Murdock family and learn their secrets. Trek though the woods and discover that some things are better left buried...like the Murdocks! Every Fri & Sat. 7p- 12a; $10.

BEGGERS’ NIGHTS: Columbus Trick or Treat: Oct 29, 6p-8p

The Haunted Ship The Santa Maria, Battelle Park off Marconi Blvd, 614.645.8760: Look out for the spiders and rats.

Don’t be surprised if we come under attack. Bring your family and friends, watch out for your skeletal kins and never turn your back! $5 adults $2.50 children.

Easton Town Center Halloween Pet Parade Town Square, 160 Easton Town Center, www.eastontowncenter.com: The Halloween Pet Parade, sponsored by the Capital Area Humane Society, is a fun event that encourages participants to dress up their pets in festive Halloween costumes. The event, which is in its ninth year at Easton Town Center, raises money to help the abused, abandoned, and homeless animals of Central Ohio. Awards given include Best, Scariest, and Funniest Costumes. Oct 25, 12p-3p.

The House of Nightmares 477 S Front St, 614.949.0733, www.thehouseofnightmares.com: First they felt it in their dreams.

It fed on the fear of those who slept in the colossal building, slowly gaining the power to reach physically past the wall of sleep. Now in the waking world horrible things from tortured dreams stalked

Trick or Treat at North Market North Market, 59 Spruce St, 614.463.9664, www.northmarket.com: The North Market invites all kids of Columbus to dress up in their Halloween costumes a few days early and come masquerading! The market will host its annual children’s Halloween party. Oct 25, 12p - 3p.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately...

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by Romeo San Vicente

Catherine Deneuve Rides The Train

Manilow Takes Stipe and Hanks to the Copacabana

Sometimes you just want the comfort of the familiar. You want to sit down in a cushy art-house theater on a rainy Sunday afternoon, and you want to The fallout from Mamma Mia! continues, and this time Michael Stipe, Tom see an old-school French director make a movie with Catherine Deneuve in Hanks, and Barry Manilow are hatching a plan to woo you back into theit, one where you can marvel at her legendary face and manner, the grand aters to sing along with 35-year-old songs you only pretend not to love. dame doing her thing. You’ll soon get your chance when acclaimed filmStipe and Hanks’ production companies are joining forces to produce a maker Andre Techine, the gay creator of modern queer-themed greatness musical film based on Manilow’s biggest hits – and it’s coming soon. No like The Witnesses and Wild Reeds, reunites with Deneuve (together they’ve title, no cast, no release date, no nothing just yet, but the plot idea involves already worked on the art-house hits Thieves and My Favorite Season) for a group of Manilow fans who go to Las Vegas and find themselves swept The Girl on The Train. Deneuve plays the once-radical, now-settled-down up in a tuneful whirl of non-stop Barry action. Note to the producers: If it mother of a young woman who lies about being the victim of a hate crime. winds up set in the 1970s, shoehorn in some of Manilow’s TV commercial Melodrama ensues. Already released in France, expect the train to pull into jingles from the era. Because who wouldn’t want to hear Meryl Streep sing its American stop sometime in the coming year. the KFC “get a bucket of chicken” song?

Ellen’s New Part-Time Job: What’s in it for the Gays?

Tilda Swinton Wants to be Your New Auntie Every single media outlet in the U.S. has weighed in on the perceived apEveryone knows that life is a banquet and that most poor suckers are propriateness and/or WTF-ness of Ellen DeGeneres replacing Paula Abdul starving to death. And they know this because of the hilarious, beloved as a permanent judge on American Idol. Romeo is all for this new developmovie Auntie Mame. And they know that Mame is – and will always be – ment if for no other reason than Ellen can probably help bring cooler choreforever associated with the late, great Rosalind Russell. But let’s say that ography for those frequently tragic results-show group-sing numbers. But someone really, really cool wanted to remake the movie in an aggressively so far very few pundits have addressed the burning issue of what this all hip, modern way. Let’s say it was Tilda Swinton, someone so talented and means for the gays. For example: Would Adam Lambert have won with idiosyncratic and worshipped by gays already that she is known on the Ellen’s official judge support behind him? Will we witness the welcome funny fashion-attack Web site GoFugYourself by one all-caps name: SWIN- death of the endlessly hilarious (to them anyway) gay-baiting jokes beTON. Let’s say that it happens like that. It’d be OK – right? Because that’s tween Simon and Seacrest? And will there finally be a softly butch, Tracy her plan. And right now it’s just that, a plan. But this is a woman generally Chapman-esque, female singer-songwriter who makes it to the top ten to be trusted, so Romeo votes that we all extend that trust. Besides, it’s a thanks to “velvet mafia” cheerleading? No matter what happens, suddenly better plan than the recently announced Yellow Submarine remake. Way the show seems like must-watch TV again.. better.

Romeo San Vicente once woke up in a Caribbean hellhole where he was forced to fight for survival; afterwards, he vowed never again to visit a Sandals resort.

He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

Between Rock & a Gay Place

by Gregg Shapiro “The personification of Ms. Joan Crawford in a rock and roll band,” The Joans live up to that claim on their full-length debut album We Are The Joans (thejoansband.com), delivering a set of songs that have a distinctively ‘60s sound. Album opener “Mad At The Dirt,” with Davy Joans on lead vocals, is an instant classic, making multiple references to Crawford’s equally illustrious and tarnished career and personal life. Further musical allusions to Crawford’s work include “Berserk” and the truly hilarious “Do The Trog” (with the band taking turns on vocals). Actress Faye Dunaway, another casualty of the Crawford curse is feted in “Faye Dunaway.” Also good for lots of laughs are “Joan World” and “The Girl Next Door” (lead vocal by Jennifer Joans). A band such as this would be incomplete without a theme song and “We Are The Joans” fills the bill. Of course, the most obvious omission is a cover of Blue Oyster Cult’s “Joan Crawford,” but perhaps The Joans are

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saving that for their second album.

Grizzly Bear joins the ranks of TV On The Radio, Modest Mouse, and Death Cab For Cuties, as another indie-oriented band that achieved an unexpected (although well-deserved) level of media and commercial attention. Driven by the impossibly infectious “Two Weeks,” the band’s latest album Veckatimest (Warp) peaked at number eight on the Billboard 200 album chart. What makes all of this especially cool in Grizzly Bear’s case is that front-man Ed Droste is openly gay.

Additionally, out classical composer Nico Muhly is responsible for choral and string quartet arrangements on a few tracks. Easily the Brooklyn quartet’s most accessible release, it veers from CSN/Beach Boys-style harmonies to flat out chamber pop exotica over the course of its dozen tracks, safely hugging listeners in its furry grip and refuses to let go.

Good Asian Drivers are a queer folk trio with a musical sensibility combining elements of jazz, punk, and even show tunes (listen to “On The Road With You”), with spoken work on their album Drive Away Home (goodasiandrivers.com). This refreshing approach succeeds in getting their mes-

sage music, which touches on feminism (“For Our Daughters”), gender (“Third Gender”), and queerness (“Queer Nation”) across without leaving the listener feeling they’re being lectured.

Since forming in 2006, the trio Pariah Piranha has kept the riot grrrl and alternative fires burning on albums “Feel My Face Noise” and “Animous Unanimous,” tossing in a taste of screamo when necessary. People People (Queer Control), the prolific Pariah Piranha’s third album in three years, even finds the band slipping on boots and spurs for “Sleight of Hand.” But fear not, they haven’t abandoned their full-on rock attack as you can hear for yourself on “Green Rooms,” “Artifacts,” “Rush Beat,” “Cartaclysm,” and “Atlas.”

While we’re on the subject of trios, Placebo, led by out front-man Brian Molko, first came to our attention in the mid-1990s with the song “Nancy Boy” from their self-titled debut disc. More than a dozen years later, Placebo is still at it with Battle For The Sun (Vagrant). You have to dig a little to get to the best tracks at the center of the disc “Bright Lights,” “Speak In Tongues,” “The NeverEnding Why,” and the bouncy beat of “Julien” but it’s worth it.

It isn’t often that a band with a queer affiliation gets the fancy reissue treatment, but Book of Love is one such outfit. Signed to Sire Records in the mid-1980s, the band released four albums into the early 1990s. Their eponymous debut, Lullaby, Candy Carol and Lovebubble have all been reissued by Noble Rot in expanded editions. Led by out Ted Ottaviano, the electronic quartet’s pair of hits from their first album, “Modigliani (Lost In Your Eyes)” and especially the queer “Boy” earned them an abundance of club play and a place in pop music history. The double disc reissue features the original self-titled album on one disc and a second disc of live, demo, remixed, instrumental, and dub tracks. Although it didn’t catch on in the same way, Book of Love’s second album Lullaby featured a hot cover of “Tubular Bells” which spilled into the queer-as-“Boy” “Pretty Boys and Pretty Girls.” Third album, Candy Carol has a distinctive winter holiday feel to it, while the misleadingly titled Lovebubble, doesn’t have much love or bubbles, although the cover of Bowie’s “Sound and Vision” comes close. All in all, a worthwhile set of reissues to have in your music collection.

Between 1987 - 2000 there were only two ferris wheel accidents. Traut however has an accident each time he rides a ferris wheel.

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IT’S ALL ABOUT LOVE You might not be able to put a name to the voice - not yet anyway. But all of that is about to change. Pop music fans are soon destined to not only recognize, but to revel in, the gorgeous voice and emotional intensity of Chris Willis, a performer who has been thrilling dance music aficionados, DJs, and club denizens for the better part of this decade. Beginning with his vocal performances on the debut album, Just a Little More Love by superstar DJ David Guetta in 2004, Willis has increasingly made a name for himself as that rare male vocal sensation in a world normally populated with divas and sirens of the opposite gender. Perhaps it’s because Willis has such a deep understanding of the emotional landscape of the dance floor - his voice is an affecting instrument that speaks directly to the hearts of the love-seeking dance habitués - both gay and straight - who populate clubs around the world hoping to find, in the ecstasy of the musical moment, that special someone with whom they can transcend all space and time.

Here, the singer talks about his musical journey from hardship to triumph, his take on the state of dance music today, and the Gay Pride moment that he will never forget.

OC: How did you first meet DJ David Guetta?

Chris Willis: To be honest, it was such a fluke, a happy accident. I was in Paris after co-producing a band with Desmond Child, and one of the guys in the group introduced me to David, who was in the process of recording his first album. He invited me to come by the studio the next day to see if we might vibe together. The next day, I show up and he played me this electrodance track, something that was quite foreign to me at the time. But I starting coming up with some melodies, and they recorded everything that I sang. Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” speech was he catalyst. A few other melodies and lyric ideas later, “Just a little more love, just a little more peace, is all it takes to live the dream.” That’s literally what came out.

OC: And “Just a Little More Love” became the title track of David’s first album.

CW: Yeah, the Civil Rights Movement was already a sensitive spot with me, and David is a big fan of the Martin Luther King “I Have A Dream” speech. When I was done singing he and Joachim were just screaming and shouting in the control room, “That’s it! That’s it!”

OC: So, this was a big departure from your work in gospel music and the singing you had been doing in Nashville, obviously.

CW: Yes, I had been singing gospel music for many years hoping for great success.

Although a pretty nice following developed around it I just wasn’t satisfied. So, I was really searching for a way out in into the mainstream.

OC: Tell me more about the trajectory of

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your career up until the point when you met David.

CW: Well, the short version is that I started at a very young age. Music was an escape for me when I was growing up in Ohio. I wasn’t good at sports and felt kind of like a misfit. Music was my way to communicate.

After high school, I started singing in choirs and playing piano. Ultimately, I ended up signing with a gospel group called the Heritage Singers, and we toured all over the world. One of the members of Take 6 heard about me and started producing me for Warner Brothers. I recorded a gospel album in Nashville, but it was never released. It was one of the biggest disappointments of my life.

OC: You decided to stay in Nashville, though?

CW: Yeah, it was either that or go back to Ohio. There were so many background singers on my album, and I just called them to see if they would bring me in on sessions. And they did. That’s how I got involved in the session world, and I sang on everything I could. I wanted people to know my name. This led, at last, to my first album, a gospel record called Chris Willis.

Then, my record company was bought and that was kind of the end of that. While pursuing my gospel career, I had also been singing all different kinds of music, trying to diversify. I’d sing and perform in industrial shows at Opryland, doing everything from Motown to the Spinners. I sang on demos for artists who wanted a more pop/urban sound to try to cross over into the mainstream market. I did backup for people like Shania Twain, Amy Grant, Kenny Rogers, and Dolly Parton. With all of that experience, I finally decided to set myself free to explore other music styles. So I bought my own gear, and began to really make my own music.

OC: And now, you’re singing dance music.

Does that feel like a natural fit for you?

CW: Yes. Part of the fun of writing this music is that I listen to the track and the instrumentation, and I just start blurting out melodies. Then, I plug in the lyrics later.

I create 3 or 4 different melodies, and sit with the DJ or producer and decide which is the strongest one. Having been a gospel singer and a session musician, I have thousands of melodies in my head. This music also allows me to be more versatile.

When I got to Nashville, I was very stiff.

Over time, I’ve been able to pull myself out of my shell and just put all of my history and training to work. To now be able to incorporate the visuals - the flash, the flair, the heavy performance - along with the vocals is really a lot of fun.

OC: Some people think of dance music as monotonous and repetitive. It certainly doesn’t have to be. How do you keep it fresh?

CW: The honest truth is that I never in a million years thought I would be interested in the world of dance music. Now that I’m here, I get the chance to tell really good stories with this music. That’s how I keep it fresh. Even with gospel music, my favorite

How offended do you think Chris gets everytime someone says, “What you talking about, Willis?”

thing was to take the story that was pretty much the same: “God, he is always with me. He saved me…” and try to say it in a different way. Now I get to do that plus reach a broader audience. Change and progress and evolution - that’s what I’m about.

Q: What kind of stories do you like to tell with your songs?

CW: Well, the main focus of dance music is love. When you’re on the dance floor, you’re either in a relationship, or you’re looking for love, whether you’re gay or straight. When I’m writing songs, I think, “What would I say to someone I love, or someone I loved and lost? What would I say to someone I just met?” There are hundreds of DJs making an endless array of sounds. And I like playing with the words in the English language to tell great stories.

OC: David Guetta’s songs are crossing over to the pop charts, and he’s got artists like Kelly Rowland and Akon singing on his tracks. He’s also produced for the new Black-Eyed Peas album.

Most dance songs don’t crossover to the pop charts. What do you think it takes for a dance hit to become a pop hit?

CW: It’s a collection of unique opportunities. I think it goes back to gospel music.

There’s a point in church where everyone is singing in harmony. What I think happened with “Love is Gone” is that, for whatever reason, everyone could sing this song - just like the songs in church. And the lyrics are so connectable, everyone can identify with the words. The guys in the club can sing it, the girls in the club can sing it. Then, it’s on the radio and it has this anthemic element, and everyone can sing it. In terms of David’s new album, he’s been able to marry what he does with what people like Kelly and Akon do. He’s incorporated these urban artists in a way that it’s breathing new life into urban and hip hop music.

OC: Have you garnered a lot of gay fans from your club gigs?

CW: Yes, definitely. One of my favorite experiences in the gay market was when we did Gay Pride in Paris. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

There were hundreds of thousands of people listening to our music. People were having a great time, and the line was totally blurred - gay people were hanging out with straight people and having a great time. There wasn’t that kind of barrier between gay and straight that you often see.

There is still a schism between the gay community and the straight community in our society, and those party lines make it hard to progress.

OC: Well, do you see that separation in clubs as well?

CW: It depends. Most of the time, it’s one big party. Love is the most important thing, and love is inclusive and accepting. That was the message that I took from my gospel experience, and that is the message that I’m sending out with all of my songs.

For more info: http://www.myspace.com/chriswillismusic

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Chihuly Dazzles at the Columbus Museum of Art

by Melissa Ferguson photo by Terry Rishel

project, which involved working in glass factories in Finland, Ireland, and Mexico, with the resultant sculptures installed over the canals and piazzas of Venice.

lowship to work at the Venini factory in Venice, Italy. While in Venice, Chihuly observed the team approach to blowing glass, This autumn, the Columbus Museum of Art which is critical to the way he works today. is alight with the dazzling works of artist In 1971, Chihuly cofounded Pilchuck Glass Dale Chihuly as Chihuly Illuminated opened Chihuly Illuminated is part of Chihuly in School in Washington. With this internaSeptember 25. The show features works Columbus, a citywide celebration of the art tional glass center, Chihuly has led the never before seen in Columbus. From the of Dale Chihuly anchored by exhibitions at avant-garde in the development of glass as Mille Fiori, a 56-foot garden of glass, to Franklin Park Conservatory and CMA. For the a fine art. Recent projects include a 2001 Glass Forest #3, a white milk-glass and first time ever in a major city, Chihuly works exhibition at the Victoria and Albert Muneon installation, Chihuly Illuminated offers will be on view at both a conservatory and a seum in London and an ambitious exhibition a feast of bold color, dramatic forms, and museum. at the de Young Museum in San Francisco in extraordinary composition.

June 2008. His work is included in over two Born in 1941 in Tacoma, Washington, Dale hundred museum collections worldwide.

CMA first presented Chihuly’s work to Chihuly was introduced to glass while Columbus in 1998 with Chihuly Over Venice, studying at the University of Washington. In The Columbus Museum of Art creates great a selection of works from his international 1968, Chihuly was awarded a Fulbright Fel- experiences with great art for everyone. The

Museum and the Museum Shop are open Tuesday through Sunday from 10a- 5:30p and until 8:30p every Thursday. The Palette Express is open for lunch Tuesday through Sunday from 11:30a- 1:30p. Museum admission is $10 for adults, $8 for seniors and students 18 and above with valid ID, $5 for students 6-17, and free for members and children 5 and younger. For additional information, call 614.221.4848 or visit www.columbusmuseum.org. Melissa Ferguson is with CMA, a member organization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association.

For more information, visit www.camaonline.org.

CATCO Opens Season with Black Comedy, Murderers

by Sarah Mills Bacha Gerald Halverson is a dapper dude in his late ’30s. Lucy Stickler is a charming 75year-old housewife. Minka Lupino is a softspoken woman in her ‘40s, who loves to read novels. All three live or work in the Riddle Key Luxury Senior Retirement Living Center and Golf Course in Florida. And all are characters in CATCO’s 26th season opener, Murderers.

On the outside, Gerald, Lucy, and Minka look like everyday people, but get inside their heads and you’ll discover they have one dark secret in common – they’re murderers. In this black comedy by Ohio native Jeffrey Hatcher, these three unlikely killers can justify their crimes in the most outrageously funny ways.

“Homicide has never been so hilarious,” exclaimed Jonathan Putnam, CATCO associate artistic director, who will direct Murderers. The central Ohio premiere, written by one of theatre’s most prolific playwrights and an Ohio native, will be performed at the Verne Riffe Center’s Studio Two Theatre, Sep 30-Oct 18.

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“Murderers is a delight – a very funny comedy with some biting satire and terrific storytelling,” says Talkinbroadway.com.

“Hatcher’s keen observations are accompanied by a wonderful sense of the ridiculous. He supplies wry commentary on old people, their families, and underlying venality, accompanied by a string of golf carts, cul de sacs, and villas,” says curtainup.com.

“Hatcher is one of the wittiest playwrights in the business, so consequently his characters are very witty. But he’s from Steubenville, so they also are extremely down to earth,” Director Putnam said. He promises, “Each mystery will keep the audience guessing until the last moment.”

Murderers is the fourth play written by Hatcher and produced by CATCO. The theatre performed Three Viewings and Scotland Road during the 1996-97 season and The Turn of the Screw during the 1997-98 season.

Ruhl’s The Clean House last season, will perform the role of Lucy, and Cedarville, Ohio, resident Matthew Moore, will take the stage as Gerald. Taylor and Moore are making their CATCO debuts.

There are two previews for Murderers, Wednesday, Sep 30, at 11a and Thursday, Oct 1, at 7:30p. Tickets are $11.50 for the 11a matinee and $32.50 for the Oct 1 performance. Tickets for two other $11@11 matinee performances Oct 7 and Oct 14 are $11.50 ($11 plus a 50-cent restoration fee). All remaining tickets for regularly scheduled performances are $40. Visit www.catco.org for more show details.

All tickets can be purchased at the box office at 41 E State St., next to the Ohio Theatre, by calling 614.469.0939 or by calling or visiting any central Ohio Ticketmaster location. Sarah Mills Bacha is with CATCO a member organization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association. For more information, visit www.camaonline.org.

Cast members are Jill Taylor, of Westerville, who will perform the role of Minka. CATCO favorite Kerry Shanklin, who most recently appeared in CATCO’s production of Sarah

If you like Chihuly and want one of your own, you can purchase a piece at Hawk Gallery at the corner of 4th and Main.

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My, what a big ol’ punkin’ head you have there, Mr Byzantium.

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The Kids Are Alright

by Marcus Morris Unless he is swinging a dildo and sporting a sequined Brutus the Buckeye t-shirt, you cannot spot a queer on campus. If you are looking for the queer campus boys, you should probably head to Axis. I decided to study the fashion of these boys on College Night. Inside the doors of Axis, you can always expect a few things: a little debauchery, a little skin, and a lot of things to write about. I ended up reflecting on my own history as a student.

I decided to meet a few friends out for drinks. After a proper amount of whiskey, we thought it would be fun to head to Axis. I think that once you turn 25, you must be completely drunk to go to Axis. If I must dance with the college kids, I need to make an appointment with Jack Daniels. After getting properly buzzed, we crossed High St. and made our way into Twink Disney.

We stood out in the crowd, mostly because we could order drinks at the bar. The first person we spotted was “Ian.” Ian just moved to Columbus, and wears clothes from American Eagle. He is a freshman at Capital University, and is not out to his parents. He caught the COTA #2 from the corner of Main and Drexel, and didn’t tell his Christian roommate where he was going. In his small town, you dressed to blend in, so he did just that.

This was his first time in a gay bar, and he’d found out about Axis by looking online. He was absolutely petrified. Everyone seemed comfortable being out. He was not out to anyone except his sister who found gay porn on the computer, and told him that his secret was safe.

He hung to the sides of the dance floor, and hoped someone would ask him to dance.

“Timmy” is a senior at Ohio State, lived on Neil Ave., and wore jeans from Express. When he entered college, he weighed 115lbs. He wore glasses, clunky white gym shoes, and a permanent line of acne across his forehead. Now, at 21, he is clear-skinned, tan, and a muscular 189lbs. His scarlet and gray t-shirt is in his hands, and he swings it over his head as he writhes on the stage. He wears the most atrocious shoes from Aldo, but he is absolutely free. He has transformed himself into the person he wants to be. My criticisms of his clothes would make him laugh. He keeps dancing to the beat.

The dance floor is packed. In the center of them all is “Alex.” Alex is a fashion major at CCAD. He is whippetthin and all sinew. He is sporting a Grace Jones hightop fade from her Portfolio period, metallic-blue leggings, acid-green high tops, and a t-shirt. Alex did not come to Axis to hook up. He is there to dance. He is there to present himself as his own little art project.

When Alex began going out his freshman year, he was a cocky little queen with a massive Afro, straight out of Jamaica, Queens. Tonight he is a cocky little queen who owns the dance floor. Alex can wear whatever and does. Last winter while smoking outside of Betty’s, he wore a pink rabbit fur coat, skinny jeans, Nike Cortez, and an Aunt Jemima t-shirt that he had made at Skreened. His fashion bravery is astounding. He looks like a fashion editorial, and is able to wear this look anywhere. It is totally his own. You can always spot him in the crowd. He is vogueing.

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“Katrina” is the best friend of “Seth.” Katrina is a big girl with a lot of makeup on. Her best friend Seth is slightly tragic, and spends most of the night in the bathroom. Seth is a server at Union, and is spending his days trying not to fall asleep at Columbus State. He is going to school because the government gives him enough in grant money to attend CSCC each quarter, with a little left over for him to buy his dog Tiny new outfits from Posh Pets. Seth adores Paris Hilton, and wants to be the male version of her. His hair is dyed the same trampy blonde, his outfits are usually way glitterier than they should be, and he carries a Louis Vuitton Murakami dog carrier. Katrina was his high school prom date, and worships him. She wishes he weren’t gay so that she could marry him because he understands her. He was her friend when she wore braces and had a spiral perm. He gave her a makeover senior year, and bought her a tanning package for her birthday. He picked out her outfit today, a red distressed tshirt from Lane Bryant, that she wears with studded black skinny pants, and patent leather peep toe wedges that they bought on sale at Steve Madden. Katrina has only fallen 3 times, and her eyelashes have taken a permanent spot in her purse. When Seth gets done in the bathroom, for the thousandth time, she is going to make him dance. They are playing Kelly Clarkson and she is dying to sweat off the rest of her foundation.

By 2a, we are exhausted. Since I am married, and the rest of us have boyfriends, my friends and I watch the scene with amusement while the room is trying to hookup with someone before the lights come on. Being a college student is not easy. While you are trying to navigate who you are, you also have homework due.

Out of our group, I am the only one who is still a student. I am wearing a plaid button-down shirt, Levi Skinny 511’s, and Sperry-Topsiders. I do not look like I am 18, and I am glad. I do not want to be that age ever again.

When I was 18, I was not in school. I was living out of a suitcase and sleeping on couches. One night I was in a 6th floor walk-up in West Harlem, the next I was sleeping on a train bound for the South. When I was the age of these kids, I was way more tragic. I was running away from everything, and an incredible closet case. I would have loved to come out at 18. Or 19. Or 21. I did not begin college until I was 23. I looked horrific too.

I had terrible clothes, and was still trying on the guise of being “straight.” During my freshman year of school, I came out, made more mistakes than I care to remember, and grew up a lot. I also learned to accept the choices I made - especially the fashion choices, which were pretty awful.

College is a place to not only learn a career, but to learn about yourself. I have realized that I am very lucky to be in school here, in this city, with contemporaries who are all unabashedly trying to find our way. We have no regret.

While we make fools of ourselves, we are becoming whom we are. If we all come out of college with something close to that understanding, it is worth all of the student loan debt and more.

Converse All-Stars, aka Chuck's or Cons, were first produced in 1917. Chris first upchucked on his Chucks in 1986 and went to jail in 1991.

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Someone should tell the goth girl that umbrellas work better when you hold them over your head.

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Food is dramatic, Life is delicious.

Episode 48: Basi-tard

by Chandy Dick-Dickens, a hybrid of Andy Dick and Charles Dickens It was unthinkable; Starla was wearing a denim pantsuit, and it wasn’t a fancy one, either. It was made of thin religious-zealot denim, and covered in the kind of fauxrhinestones one finds at the bottom of Maria Garrison’s gerbil cage - not that I’ve been there recently. Her hair had been teased until it had tripled in perceived mass, and on her large feet were two boatlike flip-flops in neon colors. I’d met her the night before the airport, and after my 16th gin and grapefruit juice, I’d resolved to own her entirely. Reality had set in when dawn broke, and now I found myself taking her to dinner to break the bad news.

“What is this place?” she said chewing her gum loudly. “It’s smaller than Dolly Parton’s childhood home! They got pawpaw?”

“What’s a pawpaw?” I asked politely, slightly embarrassed to be seen with this human stain I’d been ‘dating’ for just over 14 hours.

“State fruit of Ohio, that’s what!” Said Starla as she reached down her pantsuit, grunted, and adjusted what I assumed must have been her genitals - or her cell phone. I shook my head meekly, not certain if it was to disapprove of her ‘adjustments’, or because my knowledge of Dolly Parton’s upbringing was limited, and I was almost certain that a place as nice as Basi Italia wouldn’t carry a fruit as overtly sexualsounding as the pawpaw. Just as Starla was about to speak again, the hostess appeared.

“Your usual table, Mr. Dick-Dickens?” she

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asked graciously.

I sighed, and took another sip of my wine, I smiled and nodded approvingly, and mustering the courage to end our brief and within moments Starla and I were seated at passionate affair. a small, charming table near the back. I “Well Starla, I just wanted to discuss where sat in silence for several minutes, watching this is going. You see, I really feel we have Starla navigate the choppy waters that such different lives...” were her napkin ring. Just as I began to help Starla with her napkin, my favorite Just then our first course arrived; the server Jack appeared, a large bottle of wine roasted mussels. Even before I tasted in his hand. them, I could already smell the fragrant saffron, the mellow garlic and the spicy “Mr. Dick-Dickens, the owners would like chili - a much-needed break from Starla’s for you and your friend to enjoy this fine graciously applied Charlie perfume. bottle of 2004 Banfi Cum Laude Super Tuscan, compliments of the house. We think “What the hell are these, rabbit turds?” you’ll really enjoy the anise and cherry fla- asked Starla as she took a nail file out of vors.” her bag, speared one of the succulent black pieces, and popped one into her mouth.

He opened the bottle ceremoniously, and She must have liked them, because she decanted a small portion of the wine into quickly began spearing one after another my glass. I sipped the delightful ruby-col- until the bowl was nothing but empty shells ored liquid, and took in the subtle, spicy, and fingernail remnants. earthy flavors of this magnificent vintage.

“Did you enjoy those?” I asked curtly, dis“Yea, pour more than that, bitch!” said pleased that my mussels had been forced Starla loudly, pumping her fist toward our to share real estate with one of her groomserver. “Me and Chandy here, we’re going ing tools, and had disappeared so quickly. to drink so much we lose my prosthetic leg in the Olentangy!”

She grunted her approval, and took another swig from her wine glass, emptying it. She Ignoring this comment, our Jack smiled un- reached for the wine bottle, and filled the comfortably, poured two very full glasses, glass to the rim greedily. Quietly furious, I and then asked what I wanted for dinner. began to speak again, but it was then that “The usual, please.” I said politely. Our our salads arrived. The Basi Caesar salad, server smiled knowingly, took our menus with it’s salty, tart dressing briefly calmed and withdrew, leaving me with alone with me, but it didn’t last.

Starla and her hair.

“You were sayin’?” said Starla as she “So what did you want to talk about, shoved a forkful of beautiful greens into Chandy?” asked Starla as she took a pick- her wide, lipsticked talking-orifice. comb from her large vinyl purse and began to groom herself violently.

Taking a deep breath, I put my fork down

and sighed. “Yes, Starla. I was saying that I think you’re a beastly beauty-moose, and the fact that we had intercourse makes me want to slide down a banister made of razor blades into a vat of vinegar. I think it’s best we stop seeing each other, lest I find myself wishing to murder you and dissolve your body in a barrel of lye.”

She stared at me for a moment, and then said, “Yea, well your balls smelled like gravy…” As she finished speaking, she broke into uncontrollable tears.

As she continued her incessant crying, our entrees arrived. I took my first bite of the mustard crusted golden trout with its perfectly paired parsnip potatoes & sweet red peppers, an ironic juxtaposition to the two of us. Each delectable morsel of tender and moist fish contained equal parts rich mustard, salty capers and beautifully browned panko. Each bite sent me into a state of near-orgiastic bliss.

“What are you so happy about, you bastard?” asked Starla.

“I’m sorry Starla, I’m just enjoying my fish.”

“Well I would have liked my lobster penne with wilted spinach and lemon and vodkatomato sauce, if you hadn’t just ripped my heart out, you gravy-balled Bastard!”

Pointing to her crotch, Starla spoke again, “I tell you one thing, you’ll never enjoy this fish again.”

I couldn’t have agreed more.

Basi Italia is located at 811 Highland St. For info or reservations call 614.294.7383 or visit www.basi-italia.com.

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Come to find a new job. Come to find a new employee. COWIC Job Leaders supports everyone!

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Let’smakeabettershowinginWashingtonthanthosemoronic‘gettheGuvermentouttamySocialSecurity’nutbags.

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Gay-Friendly Hideaways With Big Views

by Andrew Collins There’s a reason that hotels charge twice as much - or sometimes even three times more - for a room facing the crashing surf or a soaring mountain peak than, say, a unit overlooking a parking lot or airshaft.

Venturing away to some cushy retreat surrounded by visually arresting scenery practically guarantees romance (provided you bring a hot date). Overnight accommodations with stunning views come in many varieties, from antiques-filled B&B rooms overlooking sweeping desert mesas to sleek, skyscraper hotel suites offering magnificent panoramas of city skylines or monumental suspension bridges.

Here are eight gay-friendly hotels and inns around the world whose views promise to dazzle and delight you: Adobe & Stars, Taos, New Mexico www.taosadobe.com In Arroyo Seco - a small and richly scenic village north of Taos - the luxurious, lightfilled Adobe and Stars B&B offers stunning 360-degree vistas of the surrounding countryside. To the east, you can see the 13,161-foot Wheeler Peak, the highest point in New Mexico, which is often capped in snow. Look west, and the highdesert mesa rolls for miles and miles - as far as the eye can see. This contemporary inn is surrounded by decks and patios and filled with big windows, high ceilings, and elegant furniture. Some of the seven guest rooms have fireplaces and Jacuzzis.

Casa Cupula, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico www.casacupula.com Puerto Vallarta is home to one of the most alluring, dramatically situated gay resorts you’ll find anywhere - the stellar Casa Cupula, which excels as much for its stately accommodations as for its incomparable views. The elegant compound consists of 14 rooms and five suites, some with patios that afford unparalleled views of the city and Banderas Bay. Facilities include a well-stocked gym, four pools, and a large open-air lounge with adjacent computer room. The property tumbles down a hillside high above Zona Romantica, a 10- to 15-minute walk from the gay outlookcolumbus.com

beach and the many bars and restaurants. But once you’ve spent a little time relaxing here, away from the crowds and in full view of Puerto Vallarta’s stunning shoreline, you may find it hard to leave this romantic property.

Grand Hyatt Hotel, Hong Kong www.hongkong.hyatt.com On the east edge of Central Hong Kong, in the Wan Chai district, the Grand Hyatt is distinct for its magnificent setting on the edge of the harbor. There are few tall buildings around it, which means that rooms enjoy knockout views of the water, the bustling Kowloon District, and the city center. This is a star in the gay-popular Hyatt brand, with some of the most lavishly decorated rooms imaginable. Don’t miss the 11th-floor outdoor pool, which is the city’s largest - it adjoins the beautiful Plateau Spa, which is an exceptional choice if you’re seeking a spa treatment while in town.

Mandarin Oriental, San Francisco, California www.mandarinoriental.com/sanfrancisco Sure, plenty of soaring skyscrapers around the world house luxury hotels, but downtown San Francisco’s Mandarin Oriental truly stands out. Every room here is on a high floor, as the hotel occupies the 38th through the 48th floors of the city’s thirdtallest building. And the views take in the Bay Area’s gorgeous topography. Depending which direction you face, you might gaze out at the Golden Gate Bridge, the Marin Headlands, San Francisco Bay, Alcatraz Island, the hills above Berkeley and Oakland, or some of downtown’s other dramatic towers. In every direction there’s both natural and man-made beauty. Decorated artfully with Asian silk fabrics, bamboo flooring, and tasteful antiquities, the rooms here are spacious and airy. Some units even afford knockout views from their bathtubs.

Mount Lofty House, Adelaide Hills, Australia www.mtloftyhouse.com.au A highlight of touring the Adelaide Hills is a stop at Mt. Lofty Summit Park, from

which you’ll enjoy unsurpassed views of the city of Adelaide and the surrounding region. Nearby is one of area’s best lodging options, Mount Lofty House, a beautiful country lodge that offers similarly magnificent views. The hotel’s Piccadilly Restaurant & Wine Bar has earned considerable kudos for its well-chosen wine list and tasty food. It’s a great place to enjoy a memorable meal, high above the stunning South Australia countryside.

On The Rocks, Santorini, Greece www.onrocks.net Among the many gorgeous Greek islands that dot the Aegean Sea, Mykonos has the strongest following among gay travelers.

But it’s Santorini, whose cliffs rise several hundred feet above a volcanic caldera now filled with clear-blue water, that offers the most spectacular views. A number of accommodations here sit along the island’s sheer ledges, with the gay-friendly On The Rocks among the most luxurious, with each of its 20 rooms (with verandas) overlooking the sea. Decor is minimalist and clean - the same white and blue color scheme that dominates the island’s architecture. Also with fantastic views are a decent-size pool and adjoining bar, from which you can sip refreshing Greek wine while watching the sun descend each evening.

View Point Inn, Corbett, Oregon www.theviewpointinn.com A popular spot for romantic brunches, lunches, and dinners, this elegantly restored Arts and Crafts restaurant and inn is perched high on a promontory, some 1,100 feet above the Columbia River, with mesmerizing views of the Pacific Northwest’s iconic Columbia Gorge. Relax with a glass of local pinot noir in an Adirondack chair on the View Point’s sweeping back lawn, and you’d never know you’re just 20 miles or so from the bustling city of Portland.

What some visitors don’t realize is that this gay-owned property has a handful of eclectic overnight accommodations, ranging from an ultra-plush and spacious suite with a private bath and sweeping gorge views, to a few inexpensively priced,

cozier rooms that have shared bathrooms.

The fancier of the bunch, the Roosevelt Suite, is ideal if you’re planning an overthe-top romantic getaway, while the other rooms work nicely for budget-minded travelers who still want to stay somewhere with amazing views and great food in the restaurant, or for groups of friends traveling together.

Nelson’s Guesthouse, Cape Town, South Africa www.nelsons.co.za Close to Cape Town’s most exclusive beach communities, Clifton and Camps Bay, this posh, gay-owned guest house sits along the gentle slopes of Signal Hill. From this modern, Mediterranean-inspired, six-room property, you’re afforded fantastic views of the ocean and historic Robben Island in the distance. Look up in the other direction, and you can see the bald, grassy summit of Signal Hill and adjacent Lion’s Head. Each of the nattily decorated rooms has its own private courtyard, a perfect spot to soak up this romantic inn’s lovely ambience.

Andrew Collins is the author of Fodor’s Gay Guide to the USA and eight additional travel guides. He can be reached care of this publication or at OutofTown@qsyndicate.com.

The Little Black Book Adobe & Stars, Taos, New Mexico (505.776.2776, www.taosadobe.com).

Casa Cupula, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico (Casa Cupula (322.223.2484 or 866.261.3516, www.casacupula.com).

Grand Hyatt Hotel, Hong Kong (2588.1234, www.hongkong.hyatt.com). Mandarin Oriental, San Francisco, California (415.276.9888, www.mandarinoriental.com/sanfrancisco).

Mount Lofty House, Adelaide Hills, Australia (08.8339.6777, www.mtloftyhouse.com.au). On The Rocks, Santorini, Greece (30.22860.23889, www.onrocks.net). Nelson’s Guesthouse, Cape Town, South Africa (27.21.433.2602, www.nelsons.co.za). View Point Inn, Corbett, Oregon (503.695.5811, www.theviewpointinn.com).

ChadFryedoesnotenjoyhauntedhouses.HedoesenjoyAsianmenandwasverypopularduringhisstintinJapan.He’s“big”overthere.

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How many Lions do you think actually watch porn?

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by Dan Savage You are known far and wide as an arbiter of all aspects of sex and especially definitions of sex, so we are hoping that you can give your definitive opinion on an interesting conundrum.

My wife and I were recently regaling each other with anecdotes from our past, and she easily had the most interesting story: It seems that when she was a young woman in college, a fellow student invited her over for lunch. It turns out that he thought she was lunch. He quickly had her clothes off and was kissing her, although he was still dressed. Then he brought out a vibrator. He applied the vibrator, she had an orgasm, and then she called a halt to the proceedings. They went back to school, and that was the beginning and the end of their relationship.

Did she have sex?

Now, I think any time you have an orgasm you’ve had sex, and if someone else is present, even if they’re clothed, you definitely had sex.

My wife’s view is that since he never got his clothes off and she never saw his cock, she really didn’t have sex. We would like your opinion on this.

Definition Essential For Intensely Novel Experience Let’s say you and I met in a bar, DEFINE, while the wife was out of town, and we hit it off. And let’s say I took you home, stripped you naked, made out with you, sucked your dick, ate your ass, spanked you, tossed you in a sling, fist-fucked you, and then - with my right arm buried up to my elbow in your ass - slowly stroked you with my left hand until you blew a massive load all over your stomach, chest, and face.

Now let’s say I taped the whole thing and emailed a copy to your wife. I think it’s highly unlikely that your wife would turn to you after watching the video - remember: I don’t get outlookcolumbus.com

naked, you never see my dick - put a hand on your knee, and say, “Well, I’m glad you didn’t have sex with Dan Savage.”

that is dipped into, not something that can dip.

And then I remembered that before “Santorum” meant Santorum, it actually designated a person, a Senator. But it took me a few secYour wife clearly regrets going to that guy’s room; onds. she regretted the moment she came, just as you would probably regret going home with me. These Congratulations on a job well done. I expect I feelings prompt her to round this experience am not the only one who had this moment of down to Not Sex, to minimize it, to exclude it from cognitive dissonance upon reading this headher sexual history on a technicality: He didn’t get line. naked; she didn’t get fucked. Your wife can attempt to rationalize away the sex she had in that A Faithful Reader dorm, DEFINE, but she had sex with that guy and that guy’s vibrator - whether she wants to Ben Smith at Politico reported last Tuesday that admit it or not.

Republican former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum plans to run for president. Political Wire linked to I’m writing to you to let you know that a huge Smith’s post and added that “Santorum has a fan and reader of your column has been in a serious Google problem.” Truthdig linked to Politicoma since Saturday, September 5. He had a cal Wire’s post and spelled out Santorum’s Google bad motorcycle accident and has a severe problem: “The former senator’s rampant homobrain injury. His name is Jon Broom, and he’s phobia inspired sex columnist Dan Savage to my boyfriend, the love of my life, and my best launch a campaign to usurp the conservative’s friend. Even though he still hasn’t woken up, name. The result: If you type ‘Santorum’ into I’ve been reading your columns out loud to him Google, you’ll find that it refers not to a former so that he never misses one. I know you’re a senator, but ‘that frothy mixture of lube and fecal busy man, but I thought I’d take a chance and matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal ask if you could pass on his Facebook support sex.’” group at “Get Well Jon” in one of your columns (www.tinyurl.com/m3ngc3). I think it would be From uppercase Santorum making the news with awesome for him to look back and see your the announcement that he intends to run for column when he wakes up and is able to func- president to the full definition of lowercase santotion again. rum - in just three steps.

We appreciate your writings and support for the people who ask for your advice. Here’s to hope, faith, and community.

And who deserves the credit? Not me. The credit is yours, dear readers. It’s thanks to you that SpreadingSantorum.com - a blog that I haven’t updated since July of 2004 - remains the numPenny Kim ber-one hit on Google when you search “Santorum.” It was a Savage Love reader who first Oh, Penny, I’m so sorry. Best wishes for a full and suggested that we usurp Rick Santorum’s name, speedy recovery. If you’re on Facebook - and who another Savage Love reader who suggested the isn’t? - please join Jon’s support group. “frothy mixture” definition, and Savage Love readers who chose the winning definition in a I just had to share with you my first reaction at free and fair election. Well done, gang. reading this headline: “Santorum dips toes in 2012 Iowa waters.” My first thought was We can’t take credit for Santorum losing his seat “Ewwww,” followed quickly by “Is that even in the U.S. Senate to Bob Casey by 18 points. possible?” After all, Santorum is something That was Rick’s doing. But we helped to make The correct temperature to froth milk is 145°F. The temp form santorum is 98.6°F or above!

him ridiculous - there were so many headlines during his failed reelection campaign with “froth” or “frothy” in them. And for a politician, being an object of ridicule is a problem, which is why SpreadingSantorum.com and the “frothy mixture” definition of santorum are going to be a problem as Rick runs for president.

“Maybe it’s time to start updating SpreadingSantorum.com again,” writes Savage Love reader P.B., “now that Rick is running for president.”

I couldn’t agree more, P.B., but I’m a busy guy these days. Back when I was writing for SpreadingSantorum.com, I had only the column on my plate. Now I blog every day at thestranger.com/slog, I do a weekly podcast, I’ve got a bad case of talking headism, and I’m working on another stupid book. So I just don’t have the time to give SpreadingSantorum.com the attention it needs.

But maybe some Savage Love readers do?

If SpreadingSantorum.com is going to remain Google’s top hit when you search “santorum” and it should - then the site needs to come back to life. So I’m looking for a few folks who want to torment Rick Santorum by following every twist and turn of his sure-to-be-disastrous run for the White House on SpreadingSantorum.com. (I may dip in every once in a while and post myself.) It would be helpful if one of the people posting to SpreadingSantorum.com was in Iowa, and it couldn’t hurt to have someone in New Hampshire, but you don’t have to live in either of those states. It would be labor of love - read: a nonpaying gig - but you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that you’re driving Rick Santorum and his supporters absolutely batshit (batshittier?).

If you think you’re the right person for this gig - if you think you’re right for SpreadingSantorum.com - write me at mail@savagelove.net.

Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net

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by Chris Hayes To know Debé is to love Debé. This fiery redhead is a little bit rock, a little bit soul, a shit ton feather boa and some smartass. You probably best know this sultry siren from her jazz singing, but you may also know her as a member of the divination community where she is a trained hand analyst, aka, palm reader.

This SoCal native made her way to the Buckeye State a decade and a half ago, and the west coast has missed her since. She got her singing start in a vocal Jazz ensemble in college, and then did musical theatre. Post university, she did the wedding singer gig for many years, and eventually morphed into the jazz/cabaret diva she is now.

Today, this girl works it! A regular vocalist at Club Diversity in Columbus and Captain’s Point in Indian Lake, Debé is also the unofficial “house band” at Black Creek Bistro. Furthermore she does local festivals and private parties as well. “I’ll go anywhere in Central Ohio looking for a jazz singer,” she says “and especially cabaret. It’s what life is, you know!”

When not splayed across a piano, at her full-time law firm day job, volunteering for BRAVO and Stonewall Democrats, or canoodling with Tamara her partner of nine years this month, Debé is busy being a spiritual guide for those open to insight.

I’ve let her take a gander at my hands, and I can attest she’s good. As she told me, hands don’t lie. You can discover what you are here to do, the talents and knowledge you were given to do it, and which gifts you’re actually using. They also uncover the way you love, and what’s in store for you based on the path you’re on. Your hands are like a blueprint of your life to help guide you. They aren’t, however, etched in stone.

We have free will, so the lines in the hand do change as we make important decisions in our life.

One of the great things about having Debé do your reading is that she’s family. Whereas anyone properly trained can read the lines on your hands, it takes intuition and an understanding of the person to be able to pull out what’s important for the client to understand.

What does Debé plan to do with her newly anointed local celeb status? “Well, my Life Purpose is to live my passion, and be a spiritual guide. If my celeb status allows me to move more people on stage or help them on their path, I am one lucky Diva.”

Should she move you one way or another, show her some appreciation by buying her a nice red wine if she’s on stage or, if she’s working it, a Bacardi & diet, or a shot of Tequila (no training wheels please, she’s Irish for God’s sake).

To book Debé for singing gig: www.jazzhappens.com; for a reading: www.palmistrybydebe.com, or check out her schedule at Zodiac: www.zodiaconmill.com.

DEBÉ

“GET A CHECK-UP, ARIES!”

your honey may seem more effort than it’s worth. Don’t let Mercury conjoining Saturn in it throw you. It’s time to deal Virgo makes everyone more with practical issues, whether serious and critical. Focus on it’s about organizing the cupyour own work and be graboards or estate planning. cious with others’ efforts to be Even with mundane tasks you helpful. Thanking them kindly can get creative. and doing what you like anyway is usually better than ar- ARIES (March 20 – April 19): guing. Still, their suggestions Break tasks down into manmay be worth considering. ageable jobs, list them for priority, and take them on one at LIBRA (September 23 – Octo- a time. Focus on housework ber 22): We’re all trimming to work off nervous energy. back on expectations these Get a check-up for any health days. It’s sensible to be preconcerns, especially those pared for the worst-case sce- that run in your family. nario, but don’t resign yourself to it. There’s still TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): plenty of room between Taureans don’t usually do cyn“ideal” and “disastrous.” Re- ical wit, but your tongue is esassess your goals with some- pecially sharp these days. You one you trust. hone your mind as well, learning new skills that will make SCORPIO (October 23 – Noyou better at any hobby, game vember 21): What you call or creative outlet. “dedicated to principle” can come off to others as dogGEMINI (May 21- June 20): matic. It may be a challenge Clean your place and get it to listen openly while staying down to basics. As for selling true to your core beliefs. At off your old stuff, a tag sale least try to find common now will move it quickly, but ground for agreement. you could get better prices another time. Yes, there is a SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – difference between “family” December 20): Take a careful, and “community.” strategic approach to your ambitions. Pushing too hard CANCER (June 21- July 22): can lead to foolish mistakes Your energy is high but unfoand antagonize your supericused. Be very careful about ors. They want to see you expressing commitments. working hard, but they want to Better to sit with a friend and see you working smart more! map out a plan and a priority list. Watch your mouth careCAPRICORN (December 21 – fully! Anything you say can January 19): Probcome out a lot bitchier than lems with your partner? Write you intend. down what’s bothering you before you start talking about it. LEO (July 23 – August 22): Little problems can easily There are real money probgrow way out of proportion. lems, and then there is your Deal with them, but do keep imagination. This is a good them in perspective. time to confront your fears and cut them down to size, all AQUARIUS (January 20 – Feb- the better to size up reality ruary 18): Reconsider what and deal with the trouble that your sexuality is really about. does exist.

How do you bring together and reconcile physical and VIRGO (August 23 – Septememotional desires? Review ber 22): You could be taking safety issues. If caution inter- yourself too seriously, but it’s feres with pleasure, rethink still sensible to review plans your strategies – but do stay and be realistic. How much of safe! your plans reflect your own wishes, and how much is PISCES (February 19 – March based on others’ expecta19): Trying to have fun with tions?

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977 teaches at the International Academy of Astrology www.astrocollege.com. He can be reached for personal or business consultations at www.starjack.com,

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How many of you young kids know who the hell Sable Coate is? Just know, she’ll eat you... literally.

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• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • outlook’s sponsored events • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

• • • • • • • • about town • • • • • • • •

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 15 CHRISTINA, BRING ME THE AXE-WOUND Nina: Heels of Horror - Deadtime Stories @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, columbusnightlife.com: Join Nina West, Virginia West, Maria Garrison and a (g)host of others, for an evening of frights, delights, and even cat-fights. Additional dates: Oct16, 17 and 18. Doors 7p, show 8p; $50/table, $12 general admission.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8 FELTING OR FELCHING? YOU DECIDE. Fashion Group International’s Cocktails and Catwalk Fashion Show Fundraiser @ BOMA, 583 E. Broad Street. Famous felter and designer TJ Horst, dinner, fashion show, booze and silent auction. Proceeds benefit Fashion Group International Scholarship Program. 6p ; $75 or $600 for a table of 8.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 16 CANDY IS DANDY, BUT LIQUOR IS QUICKER Cocktails By Design @ Vets Memorial, 300 W. Broad St.: This party sets the stage for Saturday night’s gala as designers and guests mingle and preview the installations while they sip Stolichnaya ELIT cocktails and Castello di Gabbiano wines paired with tastes from Columbus’ top restaurants and gourmet food purveyors. 7p-10p; $75.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 9 LOOKING FOR THE LOONS, SHAKING LIKE HEPBURN IN A HELICOPTER. Ernest Thompson’s “On Golden Pond” @ Emerald City Players, 6799 Dublin Center Road in Dublin Village Shopping Center, emeraldcityplayers.com: Everybody loves the elderly. Watch Ethel and Norman Thayer hang out with a kid who isn’t their grandchild, fish, and take in the golden delights of their twilight years. Geriatric intercourse is at a minimum. 8p; $12 Adults, $10 Students/Seniors. Loons not included.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 17 BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT’S JUST A BABY, AND SOMETIMES IT’S ROSEMARY’S BABY Planned Parenthood ‘09 Youth Summit @ Holiday Inn Main Ballroom, 175 E. Town Street, 614.224.0761, ohioyouthsummit2009.info: For those expecting, and those expecting the unexpected. Learn why abstinenceonly programs don’t work, and how to advocate for this issue in your community and schools. 9:30-4:30p; Free!

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10 GET BAKED. Revenge of the Cupcakes @ North

EAT IT, EAT IT, HUSTLE UP AN EGG AND BEAT IT Dine By Design Gala Dinner @ Vets Memorial, 300 W. Broad St.: The fol-

10:02 PM

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS? Short North Business Association Membership Meeting @ LaFogata 790 N. High Street. 9p. Also, Thursday, Oct. 8 @ Stonewall 1160 N. High Street. Shake your thing with the movers and shakers of High Street and beyond. If you see Beulah Park, head for the hills! 2:30p; free!

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11 GIVE A DOG A BONE. OR THE BONE. WHATEVER. Canine Companions DogFest @ Dublin Coffmann Park, 5200 Emerald Parkway: Pet-friendly walkathon, costume party, and community celebration benefiting Canine Companions for Independence, a non-profit organization that provides highly trained assistance dogs to children and adults with disabilities. Games, prizes, etc. 12p; $25 Donation to win prizes.

and fun as the Berwick Ball returns.

The theme for the evening is: “Legends Of The Ball.” Expect some oldies but goodies to dust off their crowns and take to the stage. Costumes are definitely still encouraged, and there will be 3 categories of competition with over $1000 in cash prizes awarded to the lucky winners. The categories are: 1.) COUTURIER. BECAUSE THE REAL HEE HAW WASN’T GAY (Fashionable Drag) 2.) COSTUME 3.)

ENOUGH. SAA-LUTE! MUSICAL PERFORMANCE. (1 or more 15th Annual Hee Haw Party @ Q in number). This dragavaganza gives Bar, 205 N. 5th St. 614.222.2401, HeeHawParty.com: Dig out your bibs, a portion of the proceeds to GOHI! boots, hats, and ass-less chaps, and Light hor’ dourves will be served. join Daisy Dude and Mary Ann Brandt Doors 7p, show 8p; $8 adv, $10 door, for one “heckuva” party. Don’t let the Tables $50. name fool you; the only thing country THURSDAY, OCTOBER 29TH about this shindig is the costumBECAUSE HALLOWEEN IS MY CHRISTMAS, ing...ok, and the occasional horse smell. Or is that whore’s smell? Show AND EVERYONE’S GETTING A BALL-GAG. 8th Annual Trauma Halloween Fetish up and find out! 11p.

Party @ Sugar Bar 525 N Park St.614.221.0865, FRIDAY OCTOBER 23 Evolvedbodyart.com/trauma: Ok, so I SEE YOU SHIVER WITH CONSTI...PATION! Center Stage Players present music, a costume contest, fetish Richard O’Brien’s The Rocky Horror gear, freaks, geeks, and everything Show @ Axis, 775 N High St, in-between? We’re in. Entertainment 614.291.4008,

by DJ Moxy, Ed Luna, Informer, Viva centerstageplayers.com: Come watch Valez, Anna & The Androids, Madison a certain sweet Transvestite from Young, and many others. Proceeds Transsexual-Transylvania, and a bevy will be used to buy Thanksgiving of other spooky, kinky, and developTurkeys for families in needs. Tickets mentally disabled characters in the available at Evolved 1880 N High St stage version of this cult classic. or call our office. 9p.

Drink some hooch, wash, rinse, repeat. Repeat. Additional dates: Oct. SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31 25, 29, 30, 31. 8p; $10.

BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO STAR IN YOUR OWN VERSION OF “THRILLER” PLAY IT AGAIN, MA’AM Highball Halloween Piano Legends with Kevin Patrick What kind of Halloween event shuts Sweeney @ Club Diversity, 863 S High Street down, includes an 80ft High St, 614.224.4050, clubdiverfashion runway, has the fabulous sity.com: Join locally acclaimed piNina West for a host, and draws anist Kevin Patrick Sweeney as he enough good-looking ghouls and gals plays the music of Carol King, Ben to both scare and arouse Vincent Folds, Norah Jones, Diana Krall, Elton Price? Highball, of course! This event John, and many others. With special is built on a foundation of cuttingguests Deanna Sweeney, Brian Coon edge fashion and the artistry of the and Gretchen Schuster. 7p. masquerade. The evening features music, dancing, and a number of SATURDAY, OCTOBER 24 fashion and costume competitions SAVE A HORSE, RIDE THESE COWBOYS held on the runway. This year’s event From America’s Got Talent, The DC will include the following competiCowboys @ Axis, 775 N High St, tions: Children’s Costume Contest, 614.291.4008, Dogtober Howl-oween Pet Costume columbusnightlife.com: Internation- Contest, Costume Couture Fashion ally acclaimed, the DC Cowboys spe- Showdown (for fashion design procialize in providing exciting, fessionals), and the HighBall Coshigh-energy, professional dance tume Competition. 4p-5p numbers which span all musical Mini-Masques: Children’s Costume genres from sexy club mixes to musi- Competition, 5:30p-6:30p Dogtober cal theater to contemporary country. Howloween Procession, 6p-10p DJ Buy a hat, and hold the “eff” onto it. Sonya, 8p- 8:45p Costume Couture 10p; $5.

Fashion Showdown, 9:30p-11p HighBall Halloween Costume CompetiHopefully No One Breaks a Hip tion, 10p-12a DJ Moxy. Bring your Berwick Ball @ Score Bar, 145 N 5th Codpiece, wear your helmet.

St, 614.849.0099, scorebarcolumbus.com: Join us for a night of history low-up to Cocktails By Design, this event features cocktails, table-hopping, a seated dinner, dancing, dessert, and silent auction. Bring your wallet and don’t be stingy, because the proceeds benefit AIDS service organizations in the Greater Columbus area. 6:30p-11p; $500.

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WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 7 HE HITS ME BECAUSE HE LOVES ME Columbus Coalition Against Family Violence @ Columbus Metropolitan Club 100 E Broad St # 2200, 614.464.3220 columbusmetroclub.org: Play nice with Angela Pace, Abigail Wexner, and Karen Day as they talk shop about violence, how it effects our community, and how we can put a stop to it. No Hitting. 12p; free!

Market’s Dispatch Kitchen, 59 Spruce St, 614.463.9664, northmarket.org: Got what it takes to bake the hell out of some cupcakes? Compete against Columbus’ best! Free for registered cupcake bakers. To register, contact Mary Martineau at mmartineau@northmarket.com. 1p3p; only 100 tickets are available for $10 each to the general public.

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SATURDAY OCTOBER 3 I SEE LONDON, I SEE FRANCE, I CAN SEE YOUR GENITALS. Male-One.com Underwear Party And Model Search @ Q Bar & Nightclub, 205 N. Fifth St, 614.222.2401, www.q-nation.com: Join Sable Coate, DJ Ron Solo, and friends for a halfnaked good time! If you think you’ve got what it takes to model for upand-coming adult-site MaleOne.com, wear your hottest underwear and show them your babymaker! Dance, drink, get famous!

11p.

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•••••Stylings GravestoneforMotherdearest=$650.00 VintageSalemWitchHat=$2500.00 RedContacts =$55.00 TimewithaDeadFriend=afewsouls

Noka Davers starring in Steal Magnolias 2: Resurrecting Ouiser

photography by robert trautman

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11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 6:30 PM Strippers @ Score 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 8:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 9:00 PM Karaoke with DJ Calvin @ Club Diversity 10:00 PM LOL Comedy Clips @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

4 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 6:30 PM Strippers @ Score 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 8:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:00 PM LOL Comedy Clips @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

11 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 6:30 PM Strippers @ Score 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 8:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:00 PM LOL Comedy Clips @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

18 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 6:30 PM Strippers @ Score 7:00 PM Nina: Heels of Horror @ Axis 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 8:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:00 PM LOL Comedy Clips @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

25 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 6:30 PM Strippers @ Score 8:00 PM Sunday Night Players @ Wall St 8:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:00 PM LOL Comedy Clips @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

Tuesday 28

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 9:00 PM 'Sing Out Louise' Cabaret Night @ Club Diversity 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

Wednesday 29

4:00 PM 4:00 PM 5:00 PM 8:00 PM 8:00 PM mers

Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level Karaoke @ Q Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

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Karaoke @ Q Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

4:00 PM 4:00 PM 5:00 PM 8:00 PM 8:00 PM mers

Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level Karaoke @ Q Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

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Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level Karaoke @ Q Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

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Karaoke @ Q Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

5 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

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19 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

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26 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

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30 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM 3 4 3 @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

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21 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q

28 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM Spooktaculara @ Level 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St

9 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q

4:00 PM 3 4 3 @ Level 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 7:00 PM Nina: Heels of Horror @ Axis 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

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23 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q

29 … Spooktaculara @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Spooktaculara @ Level 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 9:00 PM Trauma Halloween Fetish Par! ty @ Sugar 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

10 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM Nina: Heels of Horror @ Axis 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

22 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM 3 4 3 @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

3 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

8 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM 3 4 3 @ Level 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

14 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 6:00 PM Network Columbus 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q

2 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

7 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM 80s Video Dance @ Wall St 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q

Saturday

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17 7:00 PM Nina: Heels of Horror @ Axis 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 11:00 PM Hee Haw Party @ Q

24 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM The DC Cowboys @ Axis 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

30 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM Halloween Dragdom @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q

31 4:00 PM Highball Halloween @ Short North 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Costume Contest @ U 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Bite @ Axis 10:00 PM Costume Contest @ Level 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

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www.outlookcolumbus.com keeping the evil spirits away...but encouraging the tricksters.