Palmy Parent Magazine April/May 2023 Issue 312

PALMY PARENT

PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

A LETTER TO MUMS FOR MOTHER’S DAY

POSTNATAL NUTRITION

COPING WITH A NATURAL DISASTER

Palmy Parent and Child Expo 2023

We are back!

Finally after almost 2 years we are back!

Sunday 28th May 2023 at Awapuni Function Centre

10am - 3pm the Palmy

Parent and Child Expo will be held. We are very excited to be back and exhibitor numbers are looking good, it’s heading to be a great day!

Palmy Parent and Child Expo is a great day for the family, there will be activities for kids plus great exhibitors selling their products and services to you. Some of the activities are - Bunnings DIY for kids, face painting, bouncy castles, Andrew Wilson magic show and heaps more.

Advertise in Palmy Parent

Palmerston North Parents Centre has a circulation of over 250 magazines per issue. These are sent to all current members as well as Plunket, midwives and other community groups.

Our rates are extremely competitive and we would love your support by way of an advertisement. Also, in addition to our outstanding rates, we offer you a FREE advertorial on your business if you commit to either four or six adverts per annum. For more information contact our Business Relations Officer by email at: palmyparent@hotmail.com

One-off price 4 per year 6 per year

Quarter page $50 4 x $40 6 x $35

Half page $80 4 x $60 6 x $55

Full page $120 4 x $90 6 x $80

Insert or flyer $130 $390 $510

In addition to our outstanding rates, we offer you a FREE advertorial on your business if you commit to either four or six half or full-page adverts per annum

There are 200 FREE goodies bags for the first 200 families through the door, these bags contain some awesome products from our sponsors and are looking to be our best yet!

In these bags you could win 1 of 3 GOLDEN TICKETS, these include some amazing prizes from our sponsors.

If you are interested in becoming an exhibitor head to www. palmyparentandchildexpo.co.nz to find all the details and apply.

A big thanks our sponsors so far; Baby Factory, Creative Catering, Palmerston North Parents Centre, Mothers Matter, Little Buds Car Seats, Farmland Foods, Weleda, Tui Balm, Ecostore, Barkers, Sanitarium, Craving Cafe, Whittakers, Hire a Housewife, DKSH, Be Nourished, Palmers Skincare, Parents Centre Head Office, and Residence Hair.

Got Something to Share?

Want to share some helpful advice or a great book you’ve read? Let us know and we’ll share it with our members. Or, if you would like to have your baby’s photos printed, write about your birth experience, review a book or a family friendly venue you have visited recently, we’d love to hear from you!

Contributors

Committee News

Tena koutou katoa

2023 has already been super busy for our Administrator and Fundraising & Events Coordinator! We have a few exciting moments coming up, be sure to keep an eye on our Facebook page!

The Big Latch On was a great success in April, our anticipated Preggy to Preschool Garage Sale which was at the beginning of May saw a good trickle of buyers despite the weather. Coming up at the end of May is our first Palmy Parent & Child Expo since 2021 and we are super excited about it!

Our seminars and classes are all geared up and ready to go throughout the year too, if you have anything you would like to attend, send us an email.

Welcome to our new Music and Movement Facilitator Tammy, who has been enjoying meeting new whānau and getting into the swing on things since February, get your little one rugged up and come along to a session!

We would also like to give a big haere mai to our new amazing volunteer committee member Claire, thank you and welcome aboard!

If you are interested in coming along and volunteering your time and every, we are looking for potential new Committee Members who are interested in volunteering in some fabulous roles. These roles include:

• Post-natal Seminar Coordinator

If you are interested or would like more information, please contact us by email info@ palmyparentscentre.org.nz

Kia pai te wiki

Jessie & Palmy Parents Centre Team

Mission statement

Positive birth experiences and informed parenting in a community where parents are supported and highly valued in their role.

Disclaimer: Opinions and articles in this magazine do not necessarily reflect Parents Centre NZ policy. Advertising in this magazine does not imply endorsement by Parents Centre.

Seminars & Events

May & June

To book any of our seminars head to : www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz/Calendar/

Baby Sign

Bridget is an experienced speech and language therapist based in Auckland who runs baby sign workshops online. She aims to make signing a fun and easy way for you and your baby to communicate.

24 May 2023 7:00 PM

Cost from: NZ $10.00

http://www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz/ Calendar/EventId/496/e/baby-sign-24-may-2023

Palmy Parent & Child Expo

Join us on May 28th 2023 for the fourth annual Palmy Parent & Child Expo. Held at Awapuni Racecourse Function Centre, this event showcases some of the best local businesses and organisations in the parenthood sector that Palmerston North has to offer!

Just $2 per person entry (under 13’s are free) – plenty of activities to keep the children entertained, a spacious and well equipped family room, spot prizes and an incredible main event giveaway!

Sunday May 28th 10am - 3pm $2 entry fee per person

Infant CPR

This short course will cover baby and Infant CPR, choking, burns, convulsion, fevers, illness warning signs and accidental ingestion of toxins.

16 Jun 2023 10:00 AM

Cost from: NZ $10.00

http://www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz/ Calendar/EventId/479/e/infant-cpr-16-jun-2023

Speech and Language Development in Children

With Sarah Paewai, BSLT. Registered Member of the New Zealand Speech-Language Therapists Association. Join Sarah at this seminar to learn about your child’s speech and language development

28 Jun 2023 7:00 PM

Cost from: NZ $10.00

http://www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz/ Calendar/EventId/498/e/speech-and-languagedevelopment-in-children-28-jun-202

To register please see our website: http://www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz/ All seminars and events can be found in our calendar on the website. For any queries please email: info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz

Oh, No Mister Possum!

Written by Erin Devlin

Illustrated by Greg O’Donnell

Book review written by Julia Pratt

Price: Available at Bruce McKenzie booksellers on George Street, Palmerston North, for $18.99

Read and sing along to unite with telling off those rascally possums as Erin Devlin adds a bit more zing to her book to portray her conservation message through a catchy song which follows along with the story.

This is a story addressing the greedy, bad, rascal, the possum, a New Zealand pest. A plan is hatched to return Mister Possum and his possum friends to Native Australia.

With facts at the end of the story to back up what the story is all about, this book would appeal to children, and educators alike. The book includes sheet music, and a link or QR code to listen to a very catchy singalong song that will stick in your head. The book can be brought separately, or by going onto Erin’s Devlin’s website you can purchase extra’s such as a cute possum puppet, which would be an entertaining learning resource to use in the classroom or at home.

Jessica Smith

who has won a copy of ‘The Cool Bean’

The children’s book reviewed above has been generously donated by Bruce McKenzie Booksellers on George Street, Palmerston North to give away to a lucky Parents Centre Member.

1 0 A M - 3 P M A W A P U N I

F U N C T I O N C E N T R E

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E x h i b i t o r s t a l l s / F o o d t r u c k s

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F a c e p a i n t i n g

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b a g s f o r t h e f i r s t 2 0 0 f a m i l i e s t h r o u g h t h e d o o r !

C a s h o u t f a c i l i t i e s a v a i l a b l e .

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A letter to Mums for Mother’s Day

Dear New Mother,

It takes your breath away, doesn’t it? You knew it would. You knew it would change, well, everything, but you didn’t know it would rock you to your very core quite as shockingly as it has, did you? I didn’t either. None of us did.

We read every baby book we could lay our hands on and listened to all

the advice being thrown at us from every direction; some delivered with love and good meaning, and others, sadly, delivered under the misconception that sharing a traumatic birth story would better prepare us for ‘reality’. We set up a room for our baby in peaceful, warm tones and imagined planting butterfly kisses on a tiny forehead and whispering, ‘Goodnight’ as we turned on the gentle glow of the night light and quietly closed the door, leaving it slightly ajar, then snuggling, complete and happy, with our partners into the night. Motherhood looks beautiful, and we look beautiful doing it.

We felt prepared. We felt ready.

The reality was so very different, wasn’t it? The raw reality of surrendering to birth shocks, regardless of how prepared we thought we were. Did you have the birth you dreamed of? Did you

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have a voice in your baby’s birth? To my sisters who had the birth they planned for, I wrap my arms around you with joy. To my sisters left tender and a little broken, dazed as to how their beautiful birth ended so very differently, I wrap my arms around you even tighter.

Your baby is here. Now is the time to start your Mothering story. Now it really begins.

Your body will feel violated. You may look in the mirror in the days after birth and not recognise the woman looking back at you. You will feel soft, tender, emotional, vulnerable. If your birth ended surgically, you’ll have stitches and scars and pain when you stand. You will bleed postpartum and wonder if it will ever stop. Your breasts will be swollen and tender and you’ll leak milk at the mere thought of your baby. You may never have felt such vulnerability before and it may

come as quite a shock.

Go gently. Let your body and spirit heal.

Do you remember the day you brought your baby home? How strange it felt to walk into your house, where everything looks exactly as it did when you left it, but somehow everything has changed? What do we do now? Day and night lose all rhythm and the universe outside your door ceases to exist as you adjust to this new ‘normal’ you find yourself living. Yet the outside seeps in and you find yourself trying to live up to expectations of all the things you should be doing. You feel chained to your baby; feeding, sleeping, changing, but the domestic chores don’t disappear! “I can’t do this”. You’ll say it. More than once probably, as you look at the pile of washing, or stand staring at an empty fridge wondering what you could possibly make for dinner as your baby cries and cries, desperate for the cluster feeds they so need in the evening.

You walk tracks into your carpet as you do lap after lap of your house with your baby in your arms, trying to help them sleep. You will stand at the door of your baby’s room as they scream, wanting to scream back, “What do you need? You cry when I hold you, you cry when I put you down! I don’t know what to do!” You will be terrified that you’re doing everything wrong.

It will occur to you that to breastfeed a baby 8 to 10 times a day, sometimes for an hour at a time, is the equivalent of a full time job! It’s just one of the many full time jobs you have now. You will live by the clock (until you learn to turn them all to the wall) and you will study and log every second of your baby’s sleeping and feeding. Later, you’ll

look at your notebook and laugh at yourself, but now, it’s the only thing keeping you in control… feeling like you’re in control. You will wonder, “How does anyone do anything with a small baby?” You will feel like everyone has it together except you. You sit, for the seemingly millionth time today, on the lounge with your baby at your breast, gazing dazed out of the window and wondering how on Earth you are going to survive this. “Everything gets easier after 6 weeks,” everyone says. So you grit your teeth, endure the cracked nipples and other realities of a newly birthed body and hang in there until the day dawns on your baby’s 6th week. Perhaps you feel a little less shell shocked. Perhaps your body is beginning to heal. So sure, it’s a little easier, but there is no magic dawning of a day when

suddenly you are needed less by this little being.

Slowly, as you become more confident and more able to listen to your instincts and read the needs of your baby, you will begin to relax a little. You will get rid of the books that do nothing but bring stress and doubt into your mothering. You will be able to block out the advice that doesn’t sit well with your soul. There will be, even in the darkest of times, some moments of such pure joy it will seem like a light is shining on you and your little family. The love you feel for your baby will knock the breath out of you at times and you will happily spend hours just gazing into your child’s face.

Your connection is strong.

You will find a support network of other mothers who understand you, who will stand honestly beside you in your journey. When you feel isolated you will find where to turn to discover these mothers, and your isolation will ease. You will learn to surrender to the ever changing, always fluid, life of a mother.

But still, there will be things that, when they are happening, feel like they will go on for an eternity. Looking back, you’ll see that they were but a blink of an eye, but when you are sleep deprived and desperate you will feel like you will never sleep again. You will spend hours online looking for answers, to find out when other people’s babies slept, when they slept all by themselves. You don’t think you can survive being needed by your child so many times a night for the next 4 or 5 years.

But you will.

When, one bedtime, your child, secure in their attachment and love within their family, curls up in their own bed, pulls the covers up to their

little chin and says, “Goodnight Mummy, you can go now.” you will be rendered speechless for a moment. Then you’ll lean over, plant a little butterfly kiss on their forehead, whisper “Goodnight”, turn on the night light and walk out of their room. All will be peaceful. You will feel a pang, a pull on your heart strings that your baby is growing up. All the late nights, all the breastfeeding, all the every 20 minute night waking, all the frustration and worry about sleep will, for that night anyway, be over.

Motherhood will look beautiful, and you’ll look beautiful doing it.

Until then, know that you are walking a path left by all the mothers before you and that the endless rocking, swaying, singing (and sobbing), and sleepless nights are a universal truth for all Mothers. Even when you are feeling lonely, you will never be alone. We are standing beside you every step of the way.

Love, Me. xx

http://www.pinkymckay.com/dear-newmother-from-karen/

Karen Swan, Community Manager of Pinky’s Parenting by Heart member program

POSTNATAL NUTRITION

Food and eating have become so complicated, I believe because there are so many voices preaching different things. I encourage you to turn the volume down and be picky about who you listen to. I do not listen to just anyone who gives money advice - I go to my accountant.

When it comes to post-natal nutrition there are many things to consider, however I would like to focus on this acronym RAVE because it is a great way to start addressing your food habits! When we think about how we eat, the habits we default to, the attitudes we express around food, our perception of what or how much we should eat, well, some of those can be benefiting us, and some may not be.

Let’s start with these goals around food:

R – REGULARITY: Our bodies need regular fuelling zones, to maintain our energy, our focus, satisfy our appetites and ensure we meet our nutrient needs. Some of us need to eat every 2-3hours while others less. How many times you eat will depend on your lifestyle and individual needs, but the body likes to be fed regularly, not starved and then overloaded.

Challenge: Try to pack yourself a lunchbox in the morning to promote regular eating.

A – ADEQUACY: This may require someone to have a look over your nutrient intake to identify the gaps, but in general if we’re aiming

for at least 5+ fruits/vegetables a day, protein sources at each meal and snack time, and sustaining high fibre carbohydrates in main meals to start with, we are doing a good job. If calorie goals are higher, we can add more healthy fats and extra snacks. Weight changes may be a good reflection of adequacy. I find when one is dropping weight too quickly, they simply are not eating enough. Breastfeeding will expend energy, and if this is not being replaced well enough, one would be losing weight.

Challenge: Aim to include in each meal 1) colourful fruit and vegetables 2) protein 3) carbohydrates

V – VARIETY: I love focusing on this part. This is where we add more colour to the diet, eat seasonally, meal plan to include a range of protein and high fibre foods, include a spectrum of colour and variety within food groups. You could also focus on adding different varieties of flavours or textures to your meal planning for enjoyment.

Challenge: aim for 3+ colours on your dinner plate from veggies!

E – ENJOYMENT: Food is pleasurable. Eating should be, but let’s face it, sometimes we are rushed, we don’t have to cook gourmet every night, and if you’re suffering with digestive

issues or an intolerant baby, it can become stressful. The main message here however is that eating should not be associated with guilt or negative feelings. Create enjoyment via our eating environments; light a candle, set the table, encourage mindful eating and reduce distractions. If you enjoy a few squares of chocolate or a wee piece of slice, enjoy it.

Challenge: Take a few moments whilst you are eating to practice food mindfulness 1) What does it look like? 2) How does it smell? 3) What

does it feel like? 4) How does it sound? 5) What does it taste like?

Kate Morland is a NZ Registered Dietitian who specialises in non-diet approach to weight management, creating healthy relationships with food, eating disorders, general health, digestive health and pre/post natal wellness. Kate is also a qualified Exercise Specialist and Reformer Pilates Instructor.

Why Babies Wake at Night

By Hilary Nobilo, Brainwave Researcher & Educator

Many parents would argue that the expression “sleeping like a baby” is an anomaly. Parents often share their experiences of disturbed sleep and wonder if they’ll ever have a good night’s sleep again. However, what might be perceived as an infant sleep problem is more often than not, a normal part of infant sleep development. Much of Western culture holds an unrealistic and developmentally inappropriate view that babies should sleep

through the night from the first few months yet typical sleep patterns undergo considerable developmental changes over the first three years and parents can expect disruptions and challenges over that time.

At birth, newborns are unable to distinguish between day and night. Their sleep-wake rhythms (circadian rhythms) develop over the next three months. During early development, babies spend

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more time in Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep or active sleep than children and adults and also move through shorter cycles of sleep patterns. This predominance of active sleep plays an important role in early brain development. Most babies need help during these early months to transition through sleep cycles as they have not yet developed the regulatory capacity to fall back to sleep alone.

At four months, babies typically wake briefly four to six times during the night.1 Although the total number of hours sleep doesn’t change significantly, by four months most healthy full-term babies spend the majority of their sleep hours during night-time. Although some have the capacity to settle themselves back to sleep and self-soothe as they transition through sleep cycles, many still need their parents to help them. Initially, sleep patterns are dependent on a baby’s hunger and at four months, some are still needing a night feed. After a soothing bed-time settling, many babies of this age can be left in a drowsy but still awake state to fall asleep on their own. Babies who learn to self-soothe generally find it easier to fall asleep without help when they wake in the night.1

Between four and six months, babies are showing more interest in their family and surroundings, so may need a quiet place to settle. This is an appropriate time for a consistent bed-time routine to be introduced. Although consistency is critical, parents need to adapt sleep routines according to their baby’s changing developmental needs. By now, many babies are developing the regulatory capacity to return to sleep by themselves without help from a parent.4 Introducing a soft toy or blanket that the baby can reach for during the night can be helpful.

Between six and twelve months, sleep difficulties may increase. Over this time, babies develop an understanding that parents still exist when they can’t be seen. This is also the time when babies’ attachment to their primary care-giver (usually the mother) is evident. Babies may expect to be comforted by an attachment

figure when they wake and cry in the night. This is a normal and healthy part of development and parents need to reassure their baby that they’re close by. Babies who are comforted by responsive parents are shown to settle more quickly over time. A bed-time routine consisting of three to four calming activities, such as bath, pyjamas, and stories can be helpful for older babies.1

Towards the end of the first year, babies become consumed by the development of new motor skills and their determination to master these skills can upset sleep rhythms. Changes to routines may also unsettle toddlers and result in night waking.

During the second year, young children experience more fears and can become frightened by new or incomprehensible day-time events. This can result in babies becoming increasingly resistant to separation from parents at bed-time.1 They continue to wake briefly four to six times a night as a result of normal sleep rhythm patterns though many parents will be unaware of these wakings if children are able to settle themselves back to sleep.

Sleep, like all infant development takes place within a context of relationship, genetic, and environmental factors. Sleep problems may reflect problems parents are experiencing. Family stress and difficulties in parents’ relationships are factors that are shown to have an influence on babies’ sleep patterns.1 Disruptions to family life, such as shifting house, bereavement, loss of

employment, birth of a new sibling, or a trip away can also be unsettling. However, some relationship influences are bi-directional and sleep problems may be contributing to negative family outcomes.1 Genetic factors come into play with infant temperament and individual differences. Babies who have difficulty adapting to changes and hypersensitive babies who startle easily

and react to changes in light, sound, or touch, are more likely to experience settling problems. The physical health of a baby can also increase vulnerability. Sleep problems occur more frequently in babies with gastro-oesophageal reflux, ear infections, teething, allergies, and milk intolerance.

Cultural values and beliefs in regard to infant sleep practices influence parents’ expectations and their ways of managing sleep. A family’s culture will also influence sleeping arrangements. Western culture is one of the few in the world that sees young babies sleeping in rooms alone. Parents can become overwhelmed and exhausted by interrupted sleep and support from extended family and friends can be a considerable help through this time. Some families benefit from professional help.

Infancy is a time of significant change and development and this is reflected in the variability of sleep patterns over this time. Sleep problems are a common concern for parents as babies learn to regulate and consolidate their sleep. Understanding that settling difficulties and night-wakings are a normal part of infant development can help parents respond to their baby in a way that meets developmental and emotional needs.

First published in Brainwave Trust Newsletter 18, Winter 2013

REFERENCES

Australian Association of Infant Mental Health Inc. (2004). Position Paper 1. Controlled crying. Retrieved from www.aaimhi.org

Brazelton, T. B. (1993). Touchpoints. The essential reference guide to your child’s emotional and behavioural development. Australia: Doubleday.

DeGangi. (2000). Pediatric disorders of regulation in affect and behaviour. A therapists guide to assessment and treatment. Boston: Academic Press.

Fogel, A. (2009). Infancy: Infant, family and society (5th ed.). NY: Sloan Publishing, LLC.

Gold, C. M. (2011). Keeping your child in mind.

Overcoming defiance, tantrums and other everyday problems by seeing the world through your child’s eyes. Philadelphia: Da Capo Press.

Jenni, O. G., Borbely, a. A., & Achermann, P. (2004). Development in the nocturnal sleep electroencephalogram in human infants. American Journal of Physiology: Regulatory, Integrative and Comparative Physiology, 286, R528-R538.

Mares, S., Newman, L., & Warren, B. (2011). Clinical skills in infant mental health: The first three years (2nd ed.). Camberwell, Victoria: ACER Press.

McNamara, P., Belsky, J., & Fearon, P. (2003). Infant sleep disorders and attachment sleep problems in infants with insecure-resistant versus insecure-avoidant attachments to mother. Sleep and Hypnosis, 5(1), 7-14.

Owens, J., & Burnham, M. (2009). Sleep disorders. In C. H. Zeanah (Ed.), Handbook of Infant Mental Health (pp. 362-376). New York: Guilford Press.

Raju, D. V., & Radtke, R. A. (2012). Sleep/wake electroencephalography across the life-span. Sleep Medicine Clinic, 7, 13-22.

Sadeh, A., & Anders, T. F. (1993). Infant sleep problems: Origins, assessment, intervention. Infant Mental Health Journal, 14(1), 17-34.

Sadeh, A., Lavie, P., & Scher, A. (1992). Temperament and night waking in early childhood, revisited. Sleep Research, 21, 93. Stickgold, R. (2005). Sleep-dependent memory consolidation. Nature, 437, 12721278.

Tipene- Leach, D., Abel, S., Park, J., Finau, S., & Lennon, M. (2000). Maori infant care practices: Implications for health messagers, infant care services and SIDs prevention in Maori communities. Pacific Health Dialogue, 7, 29-37.

Warren, B. (2012). The unsettled infant. In L. Newman & S. Mares (Eds.), Contemporary approaches to infant and child mental health. Victoria: I P Communications.

Coping with a Natural Disaster

Following a traumatic event like a natural disaster, it is normal for children, teenagers and adults to have strong feelings, reactions, and changes in behaviour. Children learn from their parents’ responses, as well as what they see and hear in the media.

Key points about coping with a natural disaster

• following a traumatic event, it is normal for children, teenagers and adults to have strong feelings, reactions, and changes in behaviour

• children learn from their parents’ responses, as well as what they see and hear in the media

• limit the amount of information that your child has access to while still providing them with accurate information, suitable for their age

• allow for family time and try to keep as many routines in place as possible, to provide a sense of safety and security

The impact of natural disasters on tamariki

Strong reactions immediately after the event are very common

Traumatic events, including natural disasters, are distressing. Strong reactions immediately after the event are very common. Fear, sadness, guilt and anger are all common emotions felt by children, teenagers, and adults. People start to question their own beliefs, particularly about their safety, sense of control over their life, and how predictable the world really is.

Children can be affected by other people’s responses

It is important to realise that the impact of a natural disaster can be far-reaching, even for children who were not at the site of the disaster. Children can be affected by other people’s responses and what they see or hear about through media and conversation.

A child’s age affects how they respond

The age of a child will have an impact on how they respond to a traumatic situation and also what they

need to help them to get through it. The older the child, the more ‘in-tune’ they will be with their emotions and the better their ability to put feelings into words. There can be a delay between the trauma and the response. It’s important to remember that your child’s behaviour may be a response to a distressing experience.

Common responses to traumatic events

When children have faced a traumatic event, they may experience a number of emotional and behavioural responses including:

• engaging in repetitive play that re-enacts the trauma

• having dreams or nightmares of the event

• having dreams or nightmares about themselves or significant others being in danger

• becoming preoccupied with other traumatic events

• becoming very distressed when faced with reminders about the event

• withdrawing from people and wanting to be alone

• losing interest in activities that they usually enjoy

• being alert, tense, and on-edge

• having difficulties with sleeping

• experiencing aches and pains – especially stomach aches and headaches

• bedwetting

• having difficulty concentrating and paying attention

• being clingy and overly dependent on others

• becoming distressed or fearful if separated

from loved ones

• behaving younger than they are or being generally irritable and acting out

• being angry and verbally or physically aggressive

• having difficulty seeing any future for themselves or loved ones

How can I help my child after a natural disaster?

The response of the adults around children is very important and influences how children cope with a traumatic event. It is important to be aware of your own responses and emotional needs so that you can look after your children.

There are some strategies to help children.

Talking about how you are feeling

Talk about how everyone is feeling about what has happened. Let them know that their responses are natural and normal for the situation.

Being honest

Being honest about the experience. Children’s imagination and the fear of the unknown can be more overwhelming for children than the reality. Don’t focus on the gruesome or tragic aspects of the experience. Talk about the services and people who are helping to make things better. If you do not have answers, then that is OK to tell them that.

Controlling access to the media

Controlling how much access your child has to the media. Your child’s age will affect how they can interpret the material that they see and hear.

Being prepared to answer questions

Being prepared to answer the same question over and over again. This is their way of making sense of the situation.

Reassuring your child

Reassuring your child that they are loved, safe (in whatever realistic or truthful way they are), and cared for.

Sticking to routines

Sticking to routines, including meal times and bedtimes as much as possible. This gives a sense of safety and security.

Trying to do family-based activities

Trying to do family-based activities - this will make children feel like they are part of a unit and provide a sense of connectedness or togetherness.

Keeping roles clear

Keeping each family member’s role clear – don’t expect or allow children to take on too much responsibility.

Special attention

Trying to give each child special attention.

Eating and sleeping

Making sure that everyone is eating and sleeping.

Providing comfort

Providing comfort when a child is distressed.

Taking action

Encouraging your child to take action. This can help if your child is experiencing a sense of helplessness. This could include writing cards or drawing pictures to send to rescue agencies or families who have been affected.

Looking after yourself following a natural disaster

As an adult, it is very important that you look after yourself as well. This is often easier said than done because your focus is often on the more vulnerable around us. You need to be in the best position possible so you can look after your child - it is about strengthening yourself so you can be strong for your child. Talk to other adults about your feelings and what is going on. Access support systems available to you and try to keep to as many routines as possible.

When to get professional help after a natural disaster

Distress will improve for most tamariki with the love, care, and support from whānau

Parents are the best support for children who have been through a traumatic event. Most young people’s distress will improve with the love, care, and support from their family and whānau. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to predict those small numbers of young people who will have significant ongoing emotional difficulties following a natural disaster.

Some children will need support from professionals

For some children, they will need to have support from professionals. If your child’s responses are severe or are ongoing (for example, they continue once normal routines such as going back to school are in place), your child may require extra help to cope. Also, help from mental health services may be more likely for children or young people with existing mental health difficulties, those who have had previous mental health difficulties, or those whose parents are affected by mental health difficulties.

If you are concerned, you should contact your family doctor who will be able to advise you what support is available.

Republished with permission from https://www. kidshealth.org.nz/coping-natural-disaster

BEST BABY TEETHING TOYS

Many babies begin to get their first teeth around 6 months of age, but some can get them as early as 3-4 months. During this time you may start to notice signs of teething. These include sore gums, crying more than usual, red cheeks, and lots of dribble! To help soothe your baby’s discomfort you can try gently rubbing their gums with a clean finger or wrapping ice cubes in a wash cloth to place on baby’s cheek. You can also try teething gel, teething powder, or a teething balm on their cheeks. Or you may want to try a teething toy for them to chew and gnaw on. Here’s just a few and why people like them.

SILICONE TEETHERS

Silicone Teethers come in many shapes and sizes and are a very handy teether. They’re hypoallergenic and non-porous making them super safe for teething babies. They’re also easy to clean and can be kept in the fridge ready to help sore and swollen gums. You can get expensive silicone toys but an affordable option is some from Kmart for as little as $5.

MOMBELLA MUSHROOM TEETHER

This is a very popular teether and quite affordable. Super cute and easy for baby to grab. The material is light and soft so even when baby is throwing it around you don’t need to worry about the edges hurting their face. My baby loved this and often preferred it to her dummy. It’s fantastic as an early teether as babies can’t hold traditional teething toys when they’re younger but this mushroom teether can be used from as early as 3 months old.

SOPHIE LA GIRAFFE

The world famous Sophie the Giraffe is made from 100% natural rubber derived from the sap of the Hevea tree. We had a smaller version of this in a teething ring, but this bigger giraffe is a great, although expensive teether. The natural rubber is soft, safe & non-toxic for baby to teethe & chew, plus it’s painted with non-toxic, foodgrade paints. It is lightweight & easy to grasp for tiny hands, stimulating to baby’s senses with her soft colours & gentle squeak. It’s easy for a little one to hold in their hands and chew on.

FROZEN BREAST MILK IN A FEEDER

While this isnt a traditional teething toy I found this handy for soothing a grizzly baby who’s just started teething. If you are breastfeeding and can express some extra breast milk off with a pump, try freezing some breast milk in ice cubes. And then when babys is teething, pop one in a silicone food feeder and give it to them to chew on. If your baby is on solids you can also try putting frozen fruit in the feeder and this works great too. I like the Haaka feeder which can be easily washed.

Hire a TENS MACHINE

Hire a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS) machine to help reduce your pain during labour and childbirth. Palmerston North Parents Centre (PNPC) have 5 TENS machines available to hire with reduced hire rates for PNPC members. Only $30 for up to 4 weeks of hire (plus a $40.00 refundable bond) for PNPC members. $50 for up to 4 weeks of hire (plus a $40.00 refundable bond) for non members. We recommend that you book a machine for the two weeks prior to your due date until two weeks post due date.

Book your TENS machine from Palmerston North Parents Centre by emailing us at info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz Please pay in cash and full terms and conditions will be provided upon inquiry. Note : TENS pads are reusable, however you can purchase new TENS pads for $40 if you wish.

www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz

Carrot Cake Bliss Balls

These bliss balls are just delicious! If you need to make them ‘school friendly’ a.k.a nut free then you can swap the 1 cup of almond meal for 1 cup of rolled oats and leave out the pecans. Enjoy!

FREEZER FRIENDLY

Author: my lovely little lunch box

Serves: approx. 30 balls

INGREDIENTS

• 2 carrots, grated [approx. 2 cups of grated carrot]

• 1 cup (95 grams) rolled oats

• 1 cup (125 grams) pecans

• 1 cup (100 grams) almond meal

• ½ cup (30 grams) desiccated coconut PLUS 1 cup (60 grams) to decorate

• 6 medjool dates, pit removed

• 1/3 cup (80 mls) coconut oil, melted

• ¼ cup (60 mls) maple syrup

• 1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste [or extract]

• 1 teaspoon cinnamon, ground

• ½ teaspoon nutmeg, ground

• ¼ teaspoon mixed spice, ground

• ¼ teaspoon ginger, ground

METHOD:

1. Place the carrot, oats, pecans, almond meal, coconut, dates, coconut oil, maple syrup, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, mixed spice and ginger into the large bowl of a food processor. Blitz for 1-2 minutes (scraping down the sides of the bowl when necessary) or until smooth.

2. Place the remaining 1 cup of desiccated coconut onto a large plate. Take heaped teaspoons of the mixture and with oiled hands roll into rounds.

3. Roll each ball in coconut to coat.

4. Place in the fridge for 3-4 hours to set. Enjoy X

Timona Park and Oroua River Walk, Feilding

By Erin Evis

Feilding has a number of fantastic childfriendly attractions, and Timona Park is definitely one of them. Expansive sports fields surround an excellent children’s playground, featuring a multi-tiered series of tunnel slides built down a hill - perfect for bigger kids - and plenty of swings, roundabouts, and see-saws for the younger ones. Our children absolutely love visiting, although they do find the slides a little intimidating, so perhaps leave those for the older ones or be prepared to slide too!!

Timona Park is situated alongside the beautiful Oroua River, and in Summer, when the water is safe and clear and warm, you are able to swim in the shallow, stony waters. There is ample room for picnicking under the trees, making it a great place for a day out. It’s also a lovely starting point for a walk along the river through Feilding, with the pathways mostly sealed, and easily navigable with a buggy. The walkway is flat, though some parts follow the road through the wider Timona Park sports fields, so you need to watch out for cars. Some areas are quite stony, but a large section behind the industrial estate has been recently revamped with soft, smooth sand. You can go as far as you like, eventually ending up at the rail bridge and then the eastern part of Waughs Rd/SH54.

The river is very peaceful and soothing to meander along, with plenty of trees and plants for children to explore and perfect places for a summer or winter picnic, away from the bustling crowds

- you feel like you’re somewhere in the countryside, yet only a few minutes’ walk from town and a main highway. Our kids loved looking at the different plants (helps that Mum is a herbalist!), wildlife, playing hide and seek along the path, and trying to figure out what the various factories were that we could see. When we finally made it to the railway bridge, our eldest was awestruck looking up through the sleepers, hoping desperately that a train would go overhead! Our youngest, on the other hand, wasn’t quite so impressed, having nodded off in the carrier for a very unusual day nap, lulled by the peaceful surroundings.

This is a really lovely walk and a fantastic park for families to spend a day exploring.

COMMUNITY SUPPORT GROUPS

Across Te Kotahitanga O Te Wairua

We can provide a range of social services which include: Counselling, Family support (including respite care for children), Parenting advice/information and programmes, Advice on other services available for parents and families.

Contact: Graeme on (06) 356 7486 or visit www. across.org.nz

Allergy New Zealand

Support groups are a great way to meet others in a similar situation to you. They are very relaxed, informal sessions to share ideas, discuss your concerns, and get information and resources. Our regional support group is there to help put you in contact with others, to provide you with information such as those all important recipes, and to listen when you need someone to talk to. They are not medically qualified but can refer your queries on and seek information on your behalf. For further information phone 0800 34 0800 or visit www.allergy.org.nz

Babywearers Manawatu

This is a great way to try different carriers while finding a carrier that suits you and your baby. Babywearers Manawatu Sling Library is on most Wednesdays 12 pm - 1 pm (check FB for up to date info) at Palmerston North Parents Centre, 30 Waldegrave Street, Palmerston North. Membership is one off payment of $10 and carrier hire costs $5 for one week.https://www.facebook.com/groups/ babywearersmanawatu/

Brain Injury Association Central Districts

We provide advocacy information and support for people with brain injury, their families, whanau and carers. For more information call (06) 354 3540.

Breastfeeding Help

An IBCLC (often called lactation consultant) is a breastfeeding specialist qualified to prevent, recognise, and resolve breastfeeding problems. All members of NZCLA hold the professional qualification of International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Any mother, family member or health professional interested in obtaining the contact details of an IBCLC can phone 0800 4 LACTATION (0800 452 282) during daytime hours.

HOPE

An opportunity for parents of premature babies to meet and chat and to offer hope and support to those who currently have babies in the Neo-Natal Unit. Graduates welcome. Held at: Plunket Family Centre, 42 Albert Street, Palmerston North. Monday 1pm – 2.30pm. Contact: Karlyn Sullivan-Jones (06) 353 0663 or karlynandmark@xnet.co.nz

Itchy Kids

A national support group for parents and whanau who care for children with eczema and allergies.

For more information contact Sarah Hartley 027 333 7385 or email hartleyfamilynz@gmail.com or visit itchykids.org.nz

Manawatu Toy Library

Now located at 200 Church Street, Palmerston North, this fabulous toy library has a collection of over 2000 toys. Our members include families, carers, and educational groups. We have toys suitable for babies 5+ months through to school age children. Membership costs $95 per annum or $60 for six months. You are welcome to visit to see what we offer. To find out more, including opening hours: manawatutoylibrary.nz, or call 027 364 6911.

Manawatu Down Syndrome Association

Regional contact is Andrea Wales (06) 356 1767.

Manawatu Home Birth Association

Offering information, advice and support to women and their families seeking to birth their babies at home. Birth pools and other equipment available for hire. Library, sibling kits, and bimonthly newsletters also available. Call (06) 356 BABY (06 356 2229) for more information.

Manline

Manline services are unique in that we are the only “men helping men” organisation in the Manawatu and Tararua region offering services for men to explore issues within their lives. Our programs are designed to be educational, developmental, rehabilitative, and preventative. http://www. manline.co.nz/home or 06 358 1211

Miscarriage Support

Miscarriage can be a very lonely experience and is often not talked about. Miscarriage support groups have produced quality information and pamphlets for women/couples who may need information and support. These invaluable resources can be downloaded from miscarriage.org.nz

Methodist Social Services

Offering free programmes for primary/intermediate aged children and their parents/caregivers, around the areas of anger management, grief loss and change, and confidence building. We also offer family, couple, and individual counselling, and have both male and female counsellors available. Advocacy and social work support services are provided along with an emergency food service. For all enquiries, please call 06 350 0307, 663 Main Street, Palmerston North.

Palmerston North Breastfeeding support group

We provide a relaxed place to come and ask questions about breastfeeding and parenting , we hold regular meeting on the first Monday of the month at Palmy Parents Centre, Ruahine St, 10am. We have a library with a wide range of books relating to breastfeeding and parenting. www.lalecheleague.org.nz/palmerstonnorth or www.facebook.com/PNbreastfeedingsupport/

Parent to Parent

Supporting families of children with a special need, health impairment, or disability. For more information please phone (06) 355 0787or email manawatu@parent2parent.org.nz

Parentline 24 Hour Crisis Line. Offering help and support for parents 24 hours a day. Phone 0800 4 FAMILY.

Plunket Education Services

For parent education classes please contact the Plunket family centre in Albert Street, Palmerston North, (06) 356 7248 for more information regarding classes in 2016.

Reflux Support

Contact: Sharon 354 7280

Sands

A voluntary group who have lost babies before, during or after birth. They can provide first hand support, guidance, and information on miscarriage, stillbirth, or newborn death. Further information and support can be found by contacting Shaun and Gaylene Vivian (06) 356 9715 or visiting sands.org.nz

Supergrans Manawatu Charitable Trust

Supergrans Manawatu is all about helping people help themselves. A service to all to brush up on the basic skills needed to provide for oneself or for a family. Our motto is not a ‘do it for you today’ it is a ‘help you to do it tomorrow’ concept. This is a free service. It is concerned with encouraging better skills in those everyday tasks around the home that sustain life. We work with you in your own home. Phone (06) 354 3804 or 021 0669 442 for further information.

PLAYGROUPS IN YOUR AREA

Please bring your own morning tea and a donation of $2 per child.