2023 Your Child With Special Needs by Parenting Media

2023/24

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Successful Playdate Tips Area Universal Playgrounds IEP Navigation Tools

Organized Kids!

14 Tips to Traveling with Your Autistic Child

Tips for Keeping it all Together Pg. 22 Special Needs Support Groups & Resource Guides

1 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 1

B OSTON

NE W TON

Photo by Brooke Trisolini

We believe ballet is for EVERYONE At Boston Ballet School, ballet moves beyond the barre. Our expert faculty nurture the entirety of our students particularly within our Adaptive Dance Program. Students of all ages are welcomed into the BBS community, not only to learn foundational ballet technique, but also to develop a life-long love for movement and music. Our curriculum, created in conjunction with leading Boston hospitals, is open and flexible to all physical abilities, communication styles, and sensory needs. Join our community! Financial aid available.

bostonballet.org/adaptive 2 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

Applied Behavioral Learning Services

ABLS

WINNER

2023 th Y E

Evidence-based success

Celebrating over 20 years of success serving the Autism community and 9 years as a Boston Parents Paper Family Favorite!

Our specialized Pre-School program includes: 4 Applied Behavior Analysis 4 Discrete Trial Teaching 4 Emotional Regulation 4 Social Skills 4 Feeding Intervention 4 Home and Center Based 4 Data-Based Decision Making 4 Natural Environment Teaching

We offer programs for all ages. graphics: visper.com

ablspartners.org | 617.467.4136 110 Cedar Street | Wellesley, MA 02481

Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 3

PCD provides children of all abilities with a solid foundation for life-long learning through our educational and therapeutic programs. MyPCD.org

Anderson School is a comprehensive approved private special education school for students ages 3-12 who have multiple disabilities, or significant, complex medical needs.

Early Intervention at PCD is an integrated developmental program offering evaluation and therapeutic services for children under age 3 who are not reaching age-appropriate milestones, or are at risk for a developmental delay.

Sibshops at PCD provides young brothers and sisters (age 6-13) with peer support and information in a lively, recreational setting. For enrollment in the 2023-24 sessions, email sibshops@MyPCD.org

4 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

Your Child with Special Needs

Contents

Your Child’s Learning

Health & Wellness

Assessment Options to Consider

Travel with Autism

Helping ADHD Kids Organize for School

Understanding Executive Functions

Support Bravery and Flexibility in Your Anxious Child

IEP’s and Challenging Behavior

Need a 3rd Party Evaluation?

Anxious Child? When to Consider Getting Help

Understanding the IEP Process

Specially Trained Animals

Transition Assessments

Universal Playgrounds

8 Tips for School Success

Finding Mental Health Providers

Tolerance & Understanding 26

How to Safeguard Children with Special Needs from Bullying

When a Sibling has Special Needs

5 Tips for Playdates for Children with Special Needs

Resources 29

Health & Special Needs Family Favorites

Special Needs Support Groups and Organizations

Special Needs Resource Guide

Designed and Published by

BOSTONPARENT 841 Worcester Street, Suite 344 Natick, MA 01760 www.bostonparentspaper.com Publishers | Parenting Media Art Director | Debbi Murzyn Associate Editor | Jean Abernathy

Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 5

6 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

Travel with Autism Tips for Getting to and Enjoying the Adventure with Your Child

By Jean Abernathy

or a long time, traveling with my autistic son was a traumatic experience for the whole family. My anxiety was through the roof! Many times, we almost cancelled the trip because it just wasn’t worth it! The tantrums, the screaming, the sabotage of all of my packing and planning, made me ask myself, why go? Before we had children my husband and I loved to travel the world. Giving it up would be a big loss for us. After one particular 12-hour flight, when my then 18-month-old

son screamed and cried for 11 hours of it, I was ready to quit travel until my son got older. As a family and adding another child we figured out what worked for us. Over time, I’ve learned some tricks that really help, and I’d love to share them hoping you can find a way to make it work for you. As a mom, travel is already hard between the planning and organization, keeping everyone happy, fed, and clean. Modern Family’s Claire Dunphy said of a family Continued on page 9 Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 7

The Gifford School is a therapeutic day school serving students with complex social, emotional and learning challenges. Students from 4th grade through high school are referred by their public school districts from over 50 communities throughout Massachusetts. Gifford balances educational and clinical approaches to foster students' talents and strengths and support their individual needs.

Where Education Happens in Special Ways

friendships

safe, accepting community

What we offer Small, structured classes that incorporate visual, auditory, and hands-on learning utilizing Google classroom and 1:1 Chromebooks for an integrated learning experience based on the Massachusetts Curriculum Frameworks

engaging curriculum

Gifford is a member of the Massachusetts Association of Approved Special Education Schools (MAAPS).

Individualized clinical services as well as integration of coping and regulation strategies, social skills, sensory strategies, problem solving skills, and supports for executive functioning Transition planning for high school students including postsecondary planning, vocational programming, community volunteer opportunities, and life skills instruction Career and Technical Education program (CATE) for high school students, offering hands-on learning in four vocational areas including computer technology, culinary arts, construction skills, and visual arts

8 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

177 Boston Post Road Weston, MA 02493 www.gifford.org

Continued from page 7

trip to Hawaii, ”I’m a mom travelling with her kids. For me, this is not a vacation. It’s a business trip.” Then, add on travelling with a child with autism, yes, it can be rough! I so badly wanted to find a way to have travel be a part of our family bonding. It took some hard trips to learn what works and what doesn’t. Twice, I came home from a family trip and booked the next cruise out of our town, solo! The good news is that family travel can be done and be enjoyed! Let me share what works for us.

LEADING UP TO THE TRIP Some children with autism do better with a countdown calendar. Starting a week ahead, you mark each day off and let your child add something to his suitcase. It builds excitement and helps him prepare mentally for the trip. But this tactic is not for all. For my son, this process backfired and made him even more anxious. This made for horrific transition days, the day we left home to get to our destination. However, once we got to our destination, he would be fine. The rest of the family was a total wreck but he was fine. Eventually we learned to downplay the trip. As our children got older, we would discuss a destination to gage interest. My son would never show interest to anything new but would give us clear clues if the trip was a no go. Once trip was booked, we would tell him the dates. Then, we would drop it. Two weeks out I would give him a reminder. One week out, another reminder to discuss basics, school work to bring, need to renew prescriptions, etc. At this point, he may ask where his dog was staying and what activities we had planned. We let him bring up the trip if he wanted to. Sometime he did, sometime not. Naturally, conversation at dinner would revolve around the coming trip. He is okay with this. Now that he is older, two days before I give him a packing list. It helps ease his anxiety when we travel to accommodations he is familiar with and avoid bouncing around hotels.

AIR TRAVEL TECHNIQUES Check Airline & Airport Resources

Always, inquire with the airline ahead of time to check policies and special accommodations for kids with disabilities. Most airlines will have ways to help flyers with

disabilities and have plans to accommodate for people with special requirements. Many airports have special quiet areas to help people decompress if needed. Or, if you have access to an airport lounge, they can be quiet respites. Then, I plan to get to the gate early and speak with the gate agent. Often but not always, they’ll let you board first. Some airlines now require that you make this request at the front counter. Trust me, it’s a game changer if your child needs it.

Seat Savvy

If your child has a favorite seat (like mine with his window fixation), it is worth paying a bit more for it. Even better a bulkhead window seat. This made a world of difference in our flights, keeping him calm and fascinated.

Packing the Carryon

There is a ton of info on what to pack. I’m covering what not to pack in your child’s carryon. My son’s love for metal Thomas Trains then metal Star Wars battleships stumped many a TSA agent as they went through the scanner. Until he was 14, his Ziplock bag of what felt like 200 battleships went everywhere with us. Still, for some cosmic reason at age 17, almost every single time, it’s his back pack that gets pulled for additional screening. Now that we are beyond travelling with strollers, car seats and all the gear, we are big fans of not checking luggage, opting for carryon luggage only. But, while you are still in the young kid phase, pack all but one or two metal toys in checked luggage, provided your child will allow for this. Mine did not. If your child has to have toys with him, pack them in a clear bag then pull the bag out for security scanning. This will save time and much angst. My son did not like strangers going through his bag and would let them know it.

The “Mom’s Got It Covered” Bag

Aside from what I pack for him, I have my own bag. It’s my magic Mary Poppins bag. Think favorite toy, go-to snacks, water bottle, an extra outfit for both him and me (you never know), and even some lollipops for those tough ear-popping moments. Don’t forget sanitizing wipes for all airplane surfaces, duct tape to keep tray table closed when not in use, plenty of extra diapers. I learned the diaper lesson the hard way when our plane was delayed for six hours Continued on page 10

Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 9

Continued from page 9

on a flight home. You would think you could by emergency diapers at an airport! Plus, the all-important iPad, headphones and charger!

On Board Communication

I make it a point to give the person sitting in front of my child a heads-up of what we are dealing with. I explain that my son has Autism. That he usually enjoys flying but can get restless. We will do our best to keep him content and prevent him from kicking your seat during the flight. Please understand that this is hard for him. People are usually very kind and understanding if you are trying to work with your child.

The Reward System

I was initially against bribing, but flights aren’t the usual setting, are they? If he’s good for a certain period, I reward him with a small treat from my bag. It’s amazing what a little motivation can do.

Bring Backup

If you find yourself having to travel solo with your special needs child, find someone to come along. Having a buddy to help so you can regroup for five minutes or go to the bathroom on the flight makes a difference. We all need a breather now and then.

YOUR ACCOMMODATIONS Choose a Rental Over a Hotel

I have more success staying in a place that has a kitchen (See Breakfast and Dinners in below) plus a comfortable place to eat meals and separate bedrooms. Separate bedrooms or even a comfortable place for my son to be by himself and decompress makes for a much happier situation for the whole family. Also, with separate bedrooms it is easier to fall asleep and stay asleep without the noises of others in the room. Sometimes our family of four can’t avoid a hotel night, nor want to pay for two rooms. These nights are very stressful. It’s hard for all to sleep well. What helps are a small travel fan and a travel headband with wireless earphones to cut down on noise distractions. The more restful sleep my son gets the better for all of us.

Familiarity

Part of the fun of travel is to explore new things. For my son, new and unfamiliar places are pure torture. As a parent, I want both of my children to see the world. My son resists this want. Overtime, we have discovered that if we go to a familiar base setting for longer durations, my son is better able to handle doing day trips or short three-day trips from the vacation. Plus, leading up to the trip is not so traumatic because he knows what to expect and actually looks forward to it.

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Breakfast and Dinners In

On days that we are out and about, I try to start the morning with a “normal” breakfast with familiar foods. This normalcy is one less new thing for him to face. Then, after a tiring day of exploring, knowing that a dinner out will end badly, I plan a normal dinner at our place we are staying.

Build-in Down Time

Since the pandemic I find that both of my children, autistic or not, need a lot more downtime. I use a one-toone ratio, one day exploring then the next day of down time. As the trip goes on, I transition to half day segments recognizing that the longer away from home the more the trip wears on my child.

Be Flexible

Sometimes, things don’t go as planned. Maybe it’s a delay or an overstimulating environment. Having a backup plan or even a little quiet corner for meltdowns can be a lifesaver. Sometimes, it might mean cutting a day short, and that’s okay.

DO A POST MORTEM Once you’re back home and settled, think about what worked and what didn’t. Write it down! Consider creating a “How to Travel journal. Take note of items you wished you had packed and items that should have stayed home. List situations when everything worked out and why, as well as what didn’t and possible ways to do things differently next time. Plus, check in with yourself. As moms, we tend to focus on everyone else. How did you enjoy the trip? Are you rested or exhausted? Did this trip live up to what you imagined? What could you do differently to make future travel better for you and all of your family? The focus of the journal is to document how a trip went as opposed to the trip itself, so next time your travel experience will be even better. Get beyond family travel being a relocation. Enjoy an actual vacation. Traveling with our special kiddos does take extra work, but the memories are so worth it. We’ve got this, mama! 

FOR PARENTS OF KIDS AGES 4-9

How to Support Bravery and Flexibility in Your Anxious Child By Lisa W. Coyne, PhD

e all want to protect our children, especially when they are feeling anxious. We do all we can to prevent bumps and bruises, feeling left out, and especially their anxiety. We pad the guardrails of their lives, and gently steer them as best we can down the road to being competent humans. We

run interference so they might get to that end zone we imagine for them —college, a good job, loving relationships. We are helicopters, hovering; snowplows, clearing the way. If we can do that, we’ve done our job well. Except that protection from anxiety, used across the board, isn’t helpful. In fact, it can be the thief of oppor-

tunities to learn how to navigate and innovate in an increasingly challenging world. My colleagues and I were discussing our kids’ adjustment to college. “It’s funny,” one of them quipped, “They just don’t seem to know how to adult.” Most universities now have courses focused on just that - how to Continued on page 13

Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 11

GREAT SCHOOLS

GREAT WORK Start or advance your career at an approved special education school! Now hiring: ABA and behavior professionals Classroom assistants Residential program staff Teachers Licensed counselors OT, PT, SLP, BCBA Building support staff

Find a school, find a job. Resources and information at maaps.org

12 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

Continued from page 11

First, listen and empathize with your child—let them know you understand what they are feeling, and how hard their struggle with anxiety has been. Validate their feelings when they are anxious. Don’t dismiss their fears, and also don’t try to protect them from feeling afraid. Instead of trying to rescue them, encourage them to face their fear, one small, sometimes infinitesimal step, at a time. Second, express your trust in their capacity to feel all they are feeling and still do the things that are important to them. Reflect their strengths back to them. We all need people around us who remind us what we are capable of - especially when we are feeling vulnerable or frightened. Let your child know that you believe in them - and that you trust their capacity to learn to handle hard things, and feel big feelings.

Be supportive rather than protective when your child is anxious. Supportive parenting has 2 ingredients: empathy and confidence. manage oneself independently. But as a Gen Xer, I can’t help but wonder whether shifts in parenting norms that have happened since then might have something to do with this. After all, us latchkey Gen Xers were mostly feral, free-ranging in our Keds or banana-seat bikes though the neighborhood, the woods, the coastline. We figured things out. We had to! Now, I’m not saying we should turn our kids out into the world to run wild. Humans have, after all, evolved to need lengthy periods of nurture—all due to our highly developed frontal cortex, of course. Still, what if those experiences in which we were allowed some autonomy to explore the world were somehow…protective? What if protecting our children— truly, actually protecting them—means allowing, with scaffolding along the way, trial and error exploration of the world? What if we can best protect them by supporting them to discover or build their strengths? At this point, you may be thinking, no way. That sounds risky, or I’d be too nervous to allow that—what if something goes wrong? I can’t leave my child …unprotected.

Take a moment to notice what your mind does with this idea. Slow down and breathe into the anxiety that rises in you when you consider your child taking risks in the world. What if you could equip your child with the skills and tools they might need to handle their own anxiety? What would it be like to give your child the gift of courage to follow their own heart, to trust their own abilities, to willingly try things, learn from failing, regroup, and try again? If you are willing to explore these possibilities, here are a few tips about best practices for supporting your anxious child’s bravery and flexibility. Let me preface this by saying that the tools I share here are snippets of our most effective and well-researched interventions for anxiety in children. In addition, they are being shared by an anxious mom of kids who have their own struggles with anxiety. Science and lived experience, here, baby.

For example, instead of saying... • Would you like to go to that playdate, or will you be too anxious? SAY • I see that you are feeling scared about the playdate. It’s so hard to feel that. And I know that no matter how hard it is, you can handle it, and I’ll be right here rooting for you. Instead of... • My child is too anxious to go to swimming lessons THINK • My child feels anxiety deeply, and I know they will learn to face it, even if they take baby steps. In fact, baby steps are just fine.

Instead of... • Allowing your child to stay home from school when they are feeling anxious DO • Say, “I know this is so hard for you, and I love you and believe that Here goes: you can do it, even though you are Be supportive rather than protective scared.” when your child is anxious. Supportive parenting has 2 ingredients: empathy and confidence. Continued on page 14 Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 13

Continued from page 13

Instead of supporting your child’s avoidance of anxiety, help them be curious about it. Coach them to slow down and notice what they are feeling in their bodies, what emotions they are experiencing, and what they are thinking. Help them notice, and label those experiences. And practice communicating your support - help them feel validated, and encourage them to, well, do stuff scared. Remember you are scaffolding as they learn their strengths to overcome obstacles. Don’t snowplow for them. Walk beside them as they break new ground. Lastly, be a good model. What do you, yourself, do when you are anxious? If you practice leaning in to your own emotions, it will help your child follow suit. I remember when I had a panic attack when I was learning to scuba dive. I was 60 feet down, suddenly dizzy. My thoughts spiraled. I’m going to pass out…If I pass out I’ll drown…and no one will know. I was desperate to ascend. Of course, if you do that, you get the bends, which is painful, and sometimes fatal. But my instructor held my arm, looked me in the eyes, and let me know that we were going to stay put, and that he’d be right there until I could handle the experience on my own. That connection - knowing that another human saw and knew what I was feeling - and his trust that I’d be able to stay and face my fear made all the difference in the world. That was empathy - being with me in the scary place - and confidence - deep trust that I would have the capacity to experience it, and learn. What if allowing mindful, wellreasoned risks, or not rescuing your child when they are trying to develop competency in something - is exactly what is needed? What if we support our children best by providing developmentally appropriate opportunities for them to play, and explore, and make mistakes, and fall down, and pick themselves back up?

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This may feel very new to you, this not rescuing your child from anxiety. Make space for your thoughts and feelings about that and think about what the long game of parenting

really is: to set your child out into the world fully equipped to handle it, with strong self-efficacy and belief in their ability to build a life that they love. 

Tired of

A nx i eTtEy EN A Guide to Di Your Be scovering st Life coming Your Be st Self)

(and Be

by Lisa Coyne Sarah Cassidy

Lisa W. Coyne, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, and international speaker who is the CEO of the New England Center for OCD and Anxiety and serves as a Senior Clinical Consultant at McLean Hospital. She has published numerous books on child anxiety, OCD, and parenting, including, The Joy of Parenting: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide to Effective Parenting in the Early Years and Tired of Teen Anxiety: A Guide to Discovering Your Best Life (and Becoming Your Best Self), due for release in January 2024.

ONE IN 36 CHILDREN HAS AUTISM. WE CHANGE LIVES ONE CHILD AT A TIME. FOR MORE THAN 65 YEARS, MAY INSTITUTE HAS PROVIDED EXCEPTIONAL CARE TO CHILDREN WITH AUTISM AND OTHER SPECIAL NEEDS. OU R S ERV I CE S A RE B A S E D O N A P P LIED BEH AVIOR AN ALYSIS (AB A):

Special education schools for autism and developmental disabilities Center-based services for toddlers and young children Early intervention services Home-based services

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Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 15

What Kind of Assessment is Right for Your Child? By Mariela Vargas-Irwin, PSYD, BCBA-D, LABA

very day was hard with 5-year-old Patrick. He would purposely find ways to annoy others and just did not seem to respond to consequences. The school tested him and said that there was nothing wrong; in fact, they said he was gifted. Another child, Latoya, was never the same after being in a car accident. She cried all night and refused to get into any car. She also seemed to be unable to play with any of her previously preferred toys for long and had frequent tantrums. Then there was ten-year-old Maria, who to others, as well as criterion-referenced tests that compare students to themselves. didn’t seem to be making any progress at A Comprehensive Diagnostic assessment school. She had an intellectual disability and her Individualized Education Program may result in a diagnosis such as Autism or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. looked good on paper. However, she was The psychologist or a behavior analyst becoming more aggressive each day and her may also perform a Functional Behavior language continued to be very limited. Assessment. A Functional Behavior AssessFinally, Autumn, two years old, was in a ment examines the functions of the behavfog. She stopped saying mama and dada, ior via direct and indirect methods helping cried for no apparent reason and ran in guide the development of a Behavior circles all the time. Developmental and behavioral concerns Support Plan. Another type of assessment that may be about your children, such as those listed helpful is a Program Assessment. A Proabove, can be extremely distressing. Of gram Assessment includes a visit to your course, you would do anything for your child’s school to determine whether their child! But where needs are being met and their Individualto start? ized Education Program is being impleThe first step is to consult your pediamented properly. trician. They will be able to rule out any Lastly, a Neuropsychological Assessment possible medical problems and are more examines executive functioning skills, atlikely than a specialist to be able to see you tention, and memory, in addition to cogniquickly. Once a physical cause for your tive and adaptive skills. concerns is ruled out, your pediatrician To speak to the above examples, Patrick will most likely refer you to a psychologist would need a Comprehensive Diagnostic for an assessment. There are, however, Assessment and a Functional Assessment several kinds of assessments that can be to ascertain the function of his aggressive conducted. A Comprehensive Diagnostic Assessment and disruptive behavior. The fact that he is gifted intellectually does not rule out that will include a cognitive and an adaptive assessment. It may include both norm-ref- he may be struggling with Attention Deficit erenced assessments that compare children Disorder with Hyperactivity, Autism, or Post

16 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

Traumatic Stress Disorder. Latoya would need a neuropsychological assessment that will examine executing functions, language, and attention to ascertain the impact of the accident on her neuropsychological functions. Typically, a complete neuropsychological assessment is conducted immediately after the accident and then repeated every six months. Meanwhile, Maria would require a Program Assessment to determine whether her school program is meeting her needs. This assessment should include a complete review of her progress reports in addition to a visit to her school. She may also need a Functional Assessment of her aggressive behavior at home. Lastly, Autumn urgently needs a Comprehensive Diagnostic Assessment to rule out Autism. If she does have Autism, she will need intensive early behavior analytic intervention to be implemented as soon as possible so time is of the essence. Whatever the assessment process holds for your learner, it is important that the instruments used are both reliable and valid, and ideally, they would be able to be utilized to track progress over time. Every child is different; therefore, no assessment process will proceed identically. Y Mariela Vargas-Irwin, PSYD, BCBA-D, LABA obtained her doctoral degree from Rutgers University, completed her internship at Boston Children’s Hospital and did post-doctoral training at Baker Children’s Center and has over 30 years of experience working with children with autism and other developmental disorders. For over 21 years, Vargas-Irwin has been a part of Applied Behavioral Learning Services team in Wellesley and is currently the Executive Director of the organization. www.ablspartners.org

ABOUT US

The Evergreen Center provides living and learning environments for students diagnosed with developmental disabilities including autism, physical disabilities, neurobehavioral disorders, and other special needs.

WHAT WE DO

RESIDENTIAL SCHOOL PROGRAM

The Evergreen Center improves the quality of life for children and adults with disabilities by providing collaborative, compassionate, and evidence-based services to individuals and their families.

• Serving students ages 6 – 21 • Individualized instruction • Comprehensive assistive therapies and care • State-of-the-art central educational facility • Recreation and athletic amenities • Community residences • Rolling admissions

EVERGREEN CENTER

w w w. e v e r g re e n c t r. o r g

Contact us for information or to schedule a tour: 345 Fortune Blvd., Milford, MA 01757 • admissions@evergreenctr.org 508-478-2631 17 Special Needs Guide •| BostonParentsPaper.com

TIPS TO SUPPORT

Anxiety

IN CHILDREN

nxiety is a feeling of unease or nervousness that often goes along with an upcoming event or something with an uncertain outcome. This feeling typically will come with physical signs such as increased heart rate or muscle tension. It is normal for children to have occasional feelings of anxiety when faced with something new or if they must confront their fears. Just like adults, kids experience periods of sadness, nervous feelings, and hopelessness during childhood. As parents, we can support our kids while they have these episodes and give them tools to work through them. Many parents question the difference between feelings of anxiousness in children that stem from reasons that are typical developmental challenges, and when the anxious feelings become more than is manageable leading them to seek professional help. For example, it is common for babies 7-9 months old to have anxiety about strangers. It is common for preschool age kids to be afraid of the dark, monsters, and insects. School age kids often have anxious feelings about school and friends. These feelings are expected for kids and part of them learning to manage the world around them. When these fears begin to interrupt their ability to learn, interact with peers, sleep at night, or function normally in daily life, it might be a sign that your child is dealing with an anxiety disorder. Anxiety can appear at any age but children experience these feelings much differently than adults. True anxiety can cause anger and aggression, bedwetting, changes in appetite, insomnia, fatigue, trouble focusing, irritability, muscle tension, nervous habits such as nail biting, restlessness, headaches, or stomach aches in children. Anxious feelings can cause children to refuse to go to school or other activities or make them want to avoid situations. The Centers for Disease Control Prevention (CDC) says “7.1% of children aged 3-17 years (approximately 4.4 million) have diagnosed anxiety.” If your child is struggling with anxiety, the statistics show they are not alone. Feelings of anxiousness protect us from dangerous situations and warn us when to avoid things that may put us at risk. This is the positive side of anxious feelings. However, an anxiety

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By Sarah Lyons

If you feel that your child’s behavior is stemming from their anxiousness about a situation, try to understand where the problem stems from. disorder can be debilitating and cause us to make decisions that are no longer protecting us. Anxiety in children can be difficult to identify because it can appear to be a child acting out or behaving strangely rather than an underlying concern. For example, if your child is having anxiety about school they may refuse to go, they may complain about a stomach ache and ask to see the nurse to get out of class, or they may act out and distract their peers. If you feel that your child’s behavior is stemming from their anxiousness about a situation, try to understand where the problem stems from. “We ask questions that get them to discover the root of the worry themselves.” says a mom of 3. She suggests using questions like “What are you most afraid of happening in this situation?” This will help kids determine the root of the problem. “If they don’t know what scares them, we walk through a possible scenario of the whole event and stop when they get to the scary part so we can further discuss it.” No one will argue that anxious feelings are normal on occasion. When these feelings interfere with school work, activities, relationships, disrupt the entire family, or become unmanageable, it may be time to seek professional help. If your child is threatening to hurt themselves or others or if their behavior feels scary or out of control, see a professional right away. A therapist will be able to give you and your child tools to manage the anxiety in a healthy way, identify the root of the problem, determine symptoms and triggers, and prescribe medication if needed. This will help anxiety become manageable and leave your child feeling healthier and happier.  Sarah Lyons is a mom of six children, including seven-year-old triplets.

A Leader in Educating Extraordinary Students

Our families share many commonalities—one in particular is: The drive and determination to keep pushing for the education and community they know their child truly deserves with the goal to maximize their potential and lead happy, successful, and fulfilling lives.

Riverview School is an independent boarding/day school located on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. A leader in educating students ages 11-21 with complex language and learning challenges, we are committed to helping each of our students gain academic, social, and independent living skills to achieve their goals.

RIVERVIEW SCHOOL 551 Route 6A • East Sandwich, MA riverviewschool.org 508-888-0489

Watch our Parent Perspective Video!

Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 19

About Our School Therapeutic day school serving 90 co-ed students 5-22 Specializing in executive functioning, social communication, anxiety, learning disabilities, emotional challenges, ASD, ADHD, and other comorbid diagnoses Year round programming Integrated therapeutic teams (Psychologists, Speech-Language Pathologists, Occupational Therapists, and Board Certified Behavior Analysts) Specialized academic staff (Math Specialists, Reading Specialists, Special Educators, and Content Teachers) Robust Transition Program for students 18-22 Employment skill development for both high school & Transition Program students Dual enrollment college programming available for interested seniors and Transition Program students

410 Totten Pond Road Waltham, MA 02451 (781) 895-3200 AdvancingMilestones.com 20 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

For upcoming group or individual tours, please contact our Admissions Department SFolk@advancingmilestones.com

ervice and therapy animals have become increasingly popular for children with special needs, and for good reason. Research shows that animals can make a huge difference in kids’ physical independence and emotional well-being. Additionally, service and therapy animals are being trained to help a very wide range of people with many different disabilities, in many settings.

TYPES OF SERVICE ANIMALS Service, emotional support, and therapy animals are trained differently, perform different tasks, and have access to public places at different levels. According to the Service Animal Association, a service dog works to help the owner perform tasks they cannot

perform on their own because of their disability, an emotional support animal works to improve the health of their owner who is disabled, and the therapy animal works with their owner to improve the health of others. SERVICE ANIMALS: The vast majority of service animals are dogs. Service dogs may guide individuals who are blind or deaf, alert others to an individual who

is having a seizure, pull a wheelchair, retrieve dropped items, and otherwise perform meaningful physical services to a person with a physical disability. Service dogs are not pets; they are highly trained, and are considered to be “medical equipment.” As a result, they have special legal status and may accompany their owner virtually anywhere they can fit. EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMALS: Emotional support animals may be dogs— but may also be almost any other species. They are medically prescribed by a doctor and provide support for a single disabled person. Emotional support animals are continued on next page >>>

Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 21

<<< continued from prior page

not highly trained, but they do provide significant support and comfort; as a result, they are allowed on airplanes and in “no pets allowed” hotels, restaurants, and other public facilities. THERAPY ANIMALS: Therapy animals are pets that have been trained, registered, and insured. They belong not to a disabled individual but to someone who brings the animal to facilities for therapeutic purposes. A therapy animal might visit nursing homes, hospitals, clinics, or schools to provide stress relief and comfort. Unlike service animals and emotional support animals, therapy animals are not medically required and thus can’t (for example) be brought into a school without special permission.

TYPES OF NEEDS MET Service and emotional support animals can do a great deal for your child, no matter what their disabilities. Of course, the animal must be trained in order to be more than just a warm, friendly companion—and you must learn how to work with the animal to get the most of its abilities and skills. Here are just a few of the things a service or emotional support animal could do for your child:

• Guide a child who is blind, deaf, or has focus issues to be sure they cross roads safely, avoid obstacles, and avoid collisions with other pedestrians • Alert others to an event, such as seizure or a low blood sugar, that requires immediate medical attention • Pull a wheelchair or provide physical support for transferring, balance, and other needs • Help to pick up dropped items • Support learning by (with proper training) attending to the child as they read aloud • Provide companionship and emotional support • Enhance social skills by responding

to a child’s input (horses, for example, respond to a child’s touch while dogs respond to commands) • Build self-esteem and responsibility • Help to manage anxiety and moodrelated challenges • Help to model appropriate behaviors (dogs can actually show children how to appropriately relax in bed, rise for the day, respond to requests, etc.)

BENEFITS No matter what your child’s special needs are, there’s a good chance that an animal can help. But before leaping into action, remember that animals are living, feeling beings that need a safe environment and an owner who is capable of understanding their needs and limitations.7 Before saying “yes” to a service or support animal, consider these questions: • Is my child old enough (usually 12+) to physically and intellectually work with and (to whatever degree possible) care for an animal? • Are my child’s needs likely to be met by an animal? Obviously, a therapy animal is a poor choice for a child who is afraid of animals or is likely to ignore, injure, or neglect them. • Is our family ready to own and care for a service or emotional support animal? Yes, there are laws to protect the animal from a landlord, but do continued on page 24 >>>

22 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

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<<< continued from page 22

you have space and time to own (for example) a large dog? • Are you able to make a long-term commitment to an animal that may be living with you for many years? • Is an animal the best tool to achieve your child’s goals? For example, an emotional support dog may delight a child with autism, but it might also wind up being a substitute for (rather than a tool for improving) important human interactions. • Where and how would your child work with a service or support animal? Are those settings likely to be safe and appropriate for your animal?

ACCESS If your child’s animal is considered “medical equipment” or has been prescribed by a doctor, the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) says the animal can be with your child at all times. The one important exception is when the animal itself is behaving badly and thus causing a nuisance or danger to others. You will, however, need to check with your state’s policies regarding the definition of service and support animals to be sure your animal meets their criteria. According to the ADA: “The ADA requires State and local government agencies, businesses, and non-profit organizations (covered entities) that provide goods or services to the public to make “reasonable modifications” in their policies, practices, or procedures when necessary to accommodate people with disabilities. The service animal rules fall under this general principle.

AT SCHOOL

The same rules are required at schools. Allergies and fear of dogs are not valid reasons for denying access or refusing

24 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

service to people using service animals. When a person who is allergic to dog dander and a person who uses a service animal must spend time in the same room or facility, for example, in a school classroom or at a homeless shelter, they both should be accommodated by assigning them, if possible, to different locations within the room or different rooms in the facility. Rules that pertain to service animals and most emotional support animals do not apply to pets. Even if your child is emotionally attached to their animal friend, they may have to leave the animal at home if you don’t have the right documentation. If you want your doctor or therapist to prescribe an emotional support animal for your child with special needs, you can ask them to write an official letter explaining your child’s disability and why the animal is required for their mental health. That letter must be provided, in advance, to airlines and other public facilities that prohibit pets.

HOW TO GET ONE If you simply want an animal companion for your child, your best bet is to research types

and breeds, have your child visit with a few potential pets, and then buy the animal that suits your needs. Such an animal, however, will not have access to public places as they are not covered by the ADA. If needed, you can ask your child’s medical practitioner to write a letter describing your pet as an emotional support animal. If you are interested in a trained service animal, you’re in for a very different experience. Service animals are expensive because they are highly trained. In addition, your child will only be given a service animal if he or she is trained and capable of interacting properly with the animal. You may even have to submit to a home inspection to be sure you own a suitable home for the animal. While the cost of service animals is high, there’s an excellent chance that you will be provided with an animal at a discount or even free through a nonprofit service animal provider. If you have non-Medicaid health insurance (including veterans insurance) you may also be able to defray some of your costs. ✷

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By Malia Jacobson

hen young Cody joined the peer inclusion preschool at his neighborhood public school, he fit in from the start. His class was a mix of neurotypical “peer mentors” and children with disabilities, including students like Cody with apraxia of speech, a motor speech disorder that made communication complicated. The school’s curriculum encouraged understanding and advocating for students with disabilities, says Cody’s mom, and he felt accepted and included. Because the peer inclusion program wasn’t offered after preschool, Cody enrolled in another local school for kindergarten. That’s when the bullying began—Cody began experiencing harassment and physical bullying nearly every day, mostly from students in his own class. When he reacted, he was punished by missing recess or simply sitting in “time out,” recalls his mother, an active member of the local Special

26 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

Needs PTA. “We were getting 4, 5, 6 disciplinary notices every week, and I knew something was really wrong, because that wasn’t an issue at his other school.”

Bullying and Disability

Bullying at school—defined as disrupting or interfering with a student’s educational environment through intimidating, threatening, or physically harming a student or the student’s belongings—affects children with disabilities more often than other kids. While around ten percent of neurotypical kids experience bullying, the number jumps five-fold for students with disabilities. Through bullying is harmful to all children, it’s especially hurtful for children with disabilities. Children with certain conditions that affect speech or communication may not be able to tell teachers or caregivers what they’re

experiencing, making bullying harder to identify and correct, says David Camenisch, MD, a psychiatrist with the Seattle Children’s Hospital Autism Center. “A child with special needs who is bullied may internalize their distress, becoming disruptive at school or at home, developing feeding or toileting problems, or physical complaints like stomachache or headaches.” And bullying doesn’t just harm the child being bullied. Bullying negatively impacts students who observe it—the so-called bystanders—along with teachers and adults connected to the school. “Bullying is insidious because it erodes feelings of confidence and safety not only for those directly involved in bullying but for bystanders, teachers and parents,” says Camenisch. School districts are starting to take notice. “In recent years, there’s been greater awareness and more education around what bullying is as it relates

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to students with disabilities, and the fact that students with disabilities have protections under the law,” says Jen Cole, MA, director of Parent Training and Information with Tacoma’s PAVE (Partnerships for Action Voices for Empowerment), which provides support and resources for individuals, youth and families impacted by disabilities. All states have anti-bullying laws to protect kids. Students with an identified disability have added layers of civil rights protection via federally guaranteed right to a free, appropriate public education (sometimes referred to as FAPE). Awareness of the impacts of bulling on multicultural and English learning children with disabilities is also increasing, Cole says, thanks to the advocacy effects led by caregivers and organizations like Open Doors for Multicultural Families. “Students with disabilities experience a lot of intersectionality with identity,” says Cole. “That means that when a student with a disability is also transitional bilingual, English learning, a student or color, or experiencing homelessness, they’re more vulnerable to bullying and also have less access to resources to help.”

How Adults—and Kids— Can Help When it comes to bullying, caregivers for students with disabilities can’t afford to be unprepared, says Cole. “I encourage families to be proactive because it’s so hard when it happens to and we are unprepared,” she says. One of the best ways to prepare: Make your child’s individualized education plan (IEP) or 504 plan part of your antibullying toolkit. “Make this [harassment, intimidation and bullying] part of your student’s IEP meeting so that things like social-emotional growth and selfdetermination become something you’re talking about regularly with the school,” Cole says. Self-determination, or the student’s ability to voice their own needs and wants, can be a benchmark within an IEP plan, as well as a school-wide focus. “A healthy school climate is one in which everyone is actively working on skills like showing respect, being safe, being responsibility, and specific skills elated to bullying, specifically selfdetermination—students learning how to speak up for themselves,” says Cole. While anti-bullying education is now common in schools, some programs are more effective than others. Peer advocacy—teaching students to stand up for others—can be one of the most

“Proactive social skills include the ability to identify and respond to bullying, situational awareness, and very fundamentally knowing ‘what is a friend.’”

28 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

effective forms of anti-bullying education, says Camenisch. “Bullies are more responsive to peers pointing out that their behavior is wrong than they are to adults.” Outside of school, caregivers can help encourage the growth of proactive social skills that help protect kids from bullying, says Camenisch. “Proactive social skills include the ability to identify and respond to bullying, situational awareness, and very fundamentally knowing ‘what is a friend.’” Role-playing through potential playground interactions and reading books like Don’t Pick on Me by Susan Green are more ways parents to promote proactive social skills, says Camenisch. A combination of peer advocacy and parent-to-parent education shifted the climate in Cody’s kindergarten classroom. His mother used social media and the classroom contact list to educate other parents about Cody’s condition and ask for their support. As the class learned more about disability and bullying, Cody’s primary tormentor ended up becoming a strong peer advocate. “It was an exhausting few months, but it made me aware of the resources that are available for things like this,” she says. Most importantly, Cody now feels accepted and included at his school, she says. “He absolutely loves his friends. He just wants to feel like everyone else.” Bullying isn’t a learning experience anyone wants for their child—it’s far too damaging and dangerous. “But addressing bullying can be very empowering for kids and for adults,” Camenisch. “It can jumpstart learning and give kids an opportunity to help others understand their unique challenges.” “It is possible to navigate this successfully,” he adds. “But it takes a team.” ✷ Malia Jacobson is a nationally published health and family journalist.

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ach year in March and April Boston Parents runs a survey to find out from our readers who are the Family Favorites in over 100 categories. This year we published the complete list of winners in the August issue of Boston Parents and are reprinting categories here most related to health and special needs for this guide. The complete list of Family Favorite Winners is available at BostonParentsPaper. com in the “Our Magazines” tab under the Annual Guides section.

HEALTH

FAMILY DENTISTS

TOP 5 • Cambridge Children’s Dentistry • Hanover Pediatric Dentistry • Pediatric Dental Specialists of Needham • South Shore Children’s Dentistry • The Center for Pediatric Dental Care & Orthodontics

Boston Parents

Family Favorite Winners

in Health and Special Needs Categories WINNER • The Center for Pediatric Dental Care & Orthodontics HOSPITALS OR MEDICAL CENTERS TOP 5 • Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center • Boston Children’s Hospital • Brigham and Women’s Hospital • CHA Cambridge Hospital • Mass General Hospital WINNER • CHA Cambridge Hospital LEARNING DISABILITIES SPECIALISTS

TOP 5 • Boston Ability Center • Lurie Center for Autism • Riverside Early Intervention • South Shore Therapies • Y3K Tutor In Your Home WINNER • Y3K Tutor In Your Home MENTAL HEALTH PRACTICES

TOP 5 • Be Inspired Counseling • Brigham and Women’s Hospital • Katherine Schwab LMHC, PLLC • KidLink Therapy • McLean Hospital WINNER • Be Inspired Counseling OPTOMETRIST

TOP 5 • Family Eyecare Solutions • NECO Center for Eye Care Commonwealth • New England Eye Institute • Newton-Wellesley Eye Associates • The Optical House WINNER • Family Eyecare Solutions ORTHODONTISTS

TOP 5 • Hingham & Duxbury Orthodontics • Newbury Dental Associates • Starr & Glick Orthodontics • The Center for Pediatric Dental Care & Orthodontics • The Medford Center for Orthodontics and Pediatric continued on next page >>> Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 31

<<< continued from prior page

Dentistry

• Wellesley Pediatric Speech Therapy

WINNER WINNER • The Center for Pediatric Dental Care • Back Bay Speech & Occupational Therapy & Orthodontics PEDIATRICIANS

TOP 5 • Centre Pediatric Associates, PC • Charles River Medical Associates: Paige Meisheid, M.D. • Child & Adolescent Health • Longwood Pediatrics | Boston Children’s Primary Care Alliance • MV Pediatrics WINNER • Centre Pediatric Associates, PC SPEECH LANGUAGE THERAPY

TOP 5 • Back Bay Speech & Occupational Therapy • Learning Solutions LLC • North Shore Children’s Therapies • South Shore Therapies

EDUCATION

SPECIAL NEEDS PRESCHOOLS

TOP 5 • Campus School at Boston College • Cotting School • Kennedy Day School • May Institute • New England Center for Children WINNER • Kennedy Day School SPECIAL NEEDS ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS

TOP 5 • Campus School at Boston College • Center for Applied Behavioral Instruction • League School of Greater Boston

32 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

• May Institute • The Wolf School WINNER • The Wolf School SPECIAL NEEDS MIDDLE SCHOOLS TOP 5 • Campus School at Boston College • Center for Applied Behavioral Instruction • Cotting School • League School of Greater Boston • The Wolf School WINNER • League School of Greater Boston SPECIAL NEEDS HIGH SCHOOLS

TOP 5 • ACCEPT Education Collaborative • Center for Applied Behavioral Instruction • League School of Greater Boston • Learning Prep School • Nashoba Learning Group Inc

WINNER • Center for Applied Behavioral Instruction SPECIAL NEEDS AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAMS

TOP 5 • ABA Helps, LLC • Applied Behavioral Learning Services • Commonwealth Learning Center Needham • The Common Room • Y3K Tutor In Your Home WINNER • Applied Behavioral Learning Services

SPECIAL NEED SERVICES & RESOURCES

SPECIAL NEEDS GENERAL RESOURCES TOP 5 • ABA Helps, LLC

Together, Inc. • Little Beats Adaptive Dance • SMILE Mass • The Common Room

• Applied Behavioral Learning Services • KidLink Therapy • Lex Communicate • Riverside Early Intervention • The Common Room

WINNER • Bridging Independent Living

WINNER • Lex Communicate SPECIAL NEEDS LEGAL ASSISTANCE

Together, Inc.

CAMPS

TOP 5 • Fletcher Tilton PC • Kotin Crabtree & Strong, LLP • MAAPS • Ramos Law Education and Disability Advocates • Special Needs Law of MA WINNER • MAAPS SPECIAL NEEDS RECREATION PROGRAMS

NEEDS CAMPS

TOP 5 • Barton Center • Camp Howe • JCC Camp Grossman • Oceanwood Christian Camp and Conference Center • Y3K Tutor In Your Home WINNER • Camp Howe

TOP 5 • Best Buddies Massachusetts • Bridging Independent Living

Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 33

TOLERANCE & UNDERSTANDING

When a Sibling has Special Needs

rowing up as the typically developing sibling of a brother or sister with mental health challenges or other special needs can be confusing, embarrassing and sometimes scary. Life at home with brothers or sisters who are explosive, withdrawn or alternate between periods of normal and inappropriate behavior is not easy, and “walking on eggshells” is not a healthy way to live.

mental health issues requires unusual amounts of attention, some siblings resort to negative behavior to get attention of their own. Others see how emotionally taxed their parents or guardians are and don’t want to add to the burden so they keep too many personal problems to themselves. • LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP. Siblings may have times when they get along well together followed by bouts of intense dislike. It’s confusing when a

THE SIBLING EXPERIENCE

Siblings of children with mental health needs tend to experience a wider range of highs and lows than other children. Common dynamics include: • CONFUSION. About the

best friend suddenly becomes a worst friends over, be seen in public or participate in activities. • “PARENTIFICATION.” A child takes

unpredictable behavior and shifting

on adult responsibilities before she is

moods of their brothers and sisters,

developmentally ready. While this can

who seem to be held to a different set

be the child’s way of managing stress,

of rules. Relatives and family friends

siblings may miss out on childhood.

might interact differently with the child

• INDEPENDENCE. Accustomed to

with special needs than they do with

having less parental attention, young

the child’s sibling.

siblings are often capable of tasks that

• SAFETY CONCERNS. Siblings may

exceed their age range, such as putting

be subjected to physical and verbal

themselves to bed or preparing their

aggression, resulting in generalized

own meals.

anxiety, symptoms of post-traumatic

• OVERPROTECTIVENESS. Highly

stress disorder, sleep problems,

aware of their brother or sister’s

impaired concentration in school and

vulnerabilities, siblings may become

other issues. These concerns can be

overprotective on the playground and

minimized with professional help.

in family arguments, or cover up for

• SHAME AND EMBARRASS-MENT.

poor choices made by the sibling.

About a brother or sister’s behavior,

• COMPETING FOR ATTENTION.

making a sibling reluctant to invite

Because a brother or sister with

34 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

By Emily Rubin

enemy. • ANGER AND RESENTMENT. About the seemingly preferential treatment received by a brother or sister. Siblings don’t understand the difficult choices parents and guardians make when they “pick and choose their battles.”

HOW TO SUPPORT SIBLINGS Siblings need to know that it is not acceptable to be treated poorly by someone they love or who loves them. When siblings accommodate themselves to a brother or sister’s dysfunctional behaviors, they learn an unhealthy model for building relationships in the future. To minimize the risk of entering abusive relationships as adults, siblings need the opportunity to address their conflicting feelings about their complicated families. They need to understand they aren’t responsible for their brother or sister’s

Siblings need to understand they aren’t responsible for their brother or sister’s mental health problems. It’s not their fault nor can they fix it.

mental health problems. It’s not their

why you would feel this way. I know it

fault nor can they fix it.

makes you really angry when your brother

It is also important for siblings to

does such and such.” This will let the

understand their brother or sister’s

siblings know that their concerns are

condition and why it leads them to act the

important and that parents understand

way they do. As they age, siblings tend

how difficult it is for them.

to become primary advocates for their

Try not to blame the child with mental

brothers and sisters with disabilities; this

health needs and remind siblings that

is especially true of female siblings. The

everyone has something they struggle

more information and education siblings

with. Help them figure out what to say

receive growing up, the more likely

to others about their situation and help

they are to advocate for their brothers

to identify “safe buddies” – friends or

and sisters later on with awareness and

relatives they can turn to when home life

compassion.

becomes difficult. Give them opportuni-

The most effective intervention is for

ties to express their feelings outside of the

parents or guardians to talk openly with

family in a safe and nurturing setting and

siblings, acknowledging the challenges

encourage them to lead their own lives. ✷

of their family life in age-appropriate language. Sometimes siblings tell parents things that parents don’t want to hear, such as “I hope my brother doesn’t come home from the hospital.” When this happens, it’s best for parents to validate the child’s experience: “I can understand

Emily Rubin is president of the Massachusetts Sibling Support Network, which provides education, community building and resources, such as a listing of sibling support groups. This material is adapted from the pamphlet “Supporting Siblings of Children with Mental Health Needs.”

LOCAL RESOURCES •

Massachusetts Sibling Support Network; www.masiblingsupport.org

•

Federation for Children with Special Needs; www.fcsn.org

•

Massachusetts Advocates for Children; www.massadvocates.org

•

Children’s Behavioral Health Institute; www.mass.gov/ childrens-behavioral-healthinitiative-cbhi

•

Wayside Youth & Family Support Network; www.waysideyouth.org

•

Parent/Professional Advocacy League; www.ppal.net

•

Massachusetts Department of Mental Health; www.mass.gov/dmh

•

Asperger’s Association of New England; www.aane.org

continued on next page >>> Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 35

<<< continued from prior page

Why Siblings Need Attention

he sibling of a child with special needs tends to grow up being a bit more loyal, understanding and accepting of others and a bit more mature than other kids. Much is expected of these siblings within the family, and they tend to rise to the occasion. But who is looking out for their needs while their

brothers or sisters are requiring so much attention and care? At a workshop in Boston entitled “No Sibling Left Behind,” panelists with the Massachusetts Sibling Support Network, prompted by questions from workshop participants, shared these recommendations for helping siblings cope with their unique experiences: • Acknowledge the siblings’ complex lives and conflicting feelings. Validate their experiences of living in a home with a child with special needs. Use age-appropriate language. Make sure siblings know they do not have to assume the role of caregiver. • Assure siblings they are not responsible for their brother or sister’s lot in life. Encourage them to have their own experiences. • Spend one-on-one time with them. This

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doesn’t have to be expensive; it can just be a simple activity like baking or taking a walk together. • Communicate positive feelings for them and the difficult role they play in the home. Write a loving letter, for example. • Stress that there’s no “right” or “wrong” type of family. • Stay aware of your own attitudes about a disability, as your children will most likely mirror those attitudes. • Connect with other families going through similar issues.

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• Seek individual and/or family therapy. • Find a sibling support group. • Develop a plan with kids to help them determine what statements are OK to be shared with neighbors, family and friends, and what things are private. Siblings shouldn’t have to harbor secrets. There’s a difference, though, between secrecy and the family’s right to privacy. • Inform teachers and others at school of your family’s situation so that they can better understand the sibling’s experience. • If a sibling is embarrassed by a brother or sister’s behavior (and perhaps reluctant to invite friends to the home), remind kids that everyone in every family has something to work on. Parents might want to create a plan (which may be a written document) to define the sibling’s role in the family. When they get older, some siblings will have to make crucial and very difficult decisions about guardianship. Growing up with a brother or sister with disabilities also prompts the way siblings will look at important life decisions, such as where to go to college and whether to have children (if there’s a genetic component). Throughout their lives, they will need to examine how to balance their personal lives with their role as siblings. As they do this, they will benefit from the support and encouragement of parents and other caring adults. ✷ Mary Alice Cookson

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TIPS FOR

Playdates

with Special Needs Kids

By Sarah Lyons

laydates are an important part of childhood. They

comfortable and knows what to expect. “I am upfront and

offer time for kids to interact socially without the

honest about my daughter before we go to anyone’s house for a

structure of school or extracurricular activities.

playdate.” says Barb Walker-Shapiro, mom of six from Omaha,

They also help kids learn to share, socialize, and

NE. “Her brain doesn’t work like other kids. She may have a

play freely while still having support from their parents as

seizure and is prone to major meltdowns. I find that when other

needed. Kids with special needs are no exception and benefit

parents know what’s ‘wrong’ with my daughter, they are more

from playdates as much as their peers. While they may take a

tolerant and compassionate towards her.” It is also a good idea

little more planning and patience, it is well worth the efforts for

to talk to your children openly about differences they may have

everyone involved. Here are some tips for hosting a playdate

with their friends. Explain that just because others may seem

with kids with disabilities.

different or express their joy differently, it doesn’t mean they

BE OPEN

don’t enjoy playdates or making new friends as well. Prior to the

Our natural reaction may be to avoid talking about any disabilities a child may have but it is better to address any questions or concerns beforehand so everyone is more

38 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

playdate, it is also a good idea to check in with the other parents about whether there are any food allergies or restrictions and anything important you should know.

BE STRATEGIC

and mother of three says “Encourage the parents and children

Prior to the playdate, discuss with the other parents

to speak to the child with special needs, not about them. If

about what would be the best location to have the playdate.

the child with special needs does something your child isn’t

For some, their own home is more comfortable and

happy with or that isn’t appropriate, allow them to use words

successful. For others, staying at home may encourage the

to tell them. Sometimes that is more powerful than the adults

special needs child to say hello then retreat to their room

intervening.”

while company visits. In this case, it may be better to go

BE UNDERSTANDING

to a public place that everyone can enjoy, such as a park, museum, or zoo. On the other hand, parents who have a child that is prone to running away or hiding may find a public place overwhelming. Discuss your plans with all the parents involved and come up with the best solution for everyone. Another great strategy is to plan activities that unite the kids. Kids who struggle with talking to peers or sharing toys may find that a common interest helps them feel more at ease. Find out the interests of the kids you are hosting and offer an activity around one that excites all of those invited. Ideas could include a craft, a game, or visiting somewhere that fosters that interest. For example, if they are interested in nature, visit the Overland Park Arboretum or go on a backyard scavenger hunt. If they are interested in tractors and farm animals, visit a farm, such as Deanna Rose.

BE PATIENT Whenever kids are involved, patience is important. Try

Parenting is not easy and we all struggle with different challenges when it comes to our children. Ask the parent if they need help with anything prior to the playdate. “I almost always have a few extra things to carry so please don’t be shy about asking if I need help.” says Taylor. “I also need a lot of grace.” Try to be patient and understanding. The other parent may be overwhelmed or tired. It may have been challenging to get there. All parents have great days where everything goes as planned and tough days where it seems nothing does. Listen and offer a hand when needed and they will most likely offer the same in return. The most important tip for having a playdate with a special needs child is just to have them. It may take a little more planning and patience than the average playdate, but it is so worth it to both the parents and kids involved. Playdates offer a great chance for kids to interact with peers and make friends in a non stressful way, and they are also a great time for parents to connect and build each other up as well.

to understand that kids may have different reactions to situations, things may not go exactly as expected, and that it may take some time for kids with special needs to warm up to the situation. Some children with special needs may prefer to participate in parallel play. Parallel play is when kids play beside each other, but do not interact with one another. Children who play alone during parallel play still enjoy the time together and are usually interested in what the other children are doing. If things do not go as planned, it is okay to cut the playdate short and try again in the future.

BE INCLUSIVE It is most important to note that kids with disabilities or special needs are just like anyone else; they want to interact with friends and be loved and appreciated. When hosting a play date with kids with disabilities it’s important to greet them and interact with them as you would anyone else you meet. “Please say hi to my son. Smile at him, even if he doesn’t smile back.” says Marie Taylor, Olathe, KS mother of two. Even if the child is nonverbal or doesn’t seem to hear you, it is important to speak to them. Angela Leever, special education teacher

PLAYDATE ACTIVITIES THAT UNITE Choosing activities that encourage common interests will help foster friendships. Here are some ideas: • Build something - Legos, blocks, wooden train sets • Pick something they are both interested in and go do it • Arts and crafts • Go outside and play • Quiet stations for the quieter group - set up puzzles, coloring sheets, books, blocks • Set up a sensory bin • Pick a neutral location - museum, park, or zoo. ✷ Sarah Lyons is a busy mother of six children. Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 39

Helping ADHD Kids

Organize for a Successful School Year

By Kerrie McLoughlin you have a child with ADHD,

“… your kid needs to do what works for

“She and I would set up a quiet place

you witness their normal

them--they should be the one to come up

for her to study and set a schedule for

daily struggles. School poses

with an organizational method.”

homework. She had pens that she could

Limit choices and decision fatigue

use on her mirror closet doors to write

even more challenges when a child is trying to juggle staying organized, getting homework done, keeping track of permission slips, keeping up with hygiene, activities, etc. PsychCentral.com says, “… ADHD affects the very skills that are required for success in school. Kids with ADHD have difficulty getting started, prioritizing, planning, managing their time and emotions, staying on task and focusing... It’s the nature of the disorder,

“One helpful tip a teacher told me (and has worked) is less is more. I got my son all these binders with tabs, but she said one simple folder is sometimes more helpful,” says a mom who wishes to remain anonymous.

Color-coded supplies Dr. Lisa Adams, Ph.D. and school

out assignments and due dates. Then she could prioritize better. We’d also break assignments into more bite-size pieces if they were large or long projects.” Dr. Adams adds, “Develop a system of retrieving assignments, a time for doing them, a time for turning them in. Provide continuous parent oversight until system is learned.” If you still need a helping hand,

which impairs the executive functions of

psychologist for 10 years, suggests,

check out the various tutoring services

the brain.” So where do you start when

“Depending on age, organize and color

found on our site so your child can catch

it’s time to head back to school?

code binders. Use the same color for all

up, stay on track, or get ahead (https://

Make a fresh start… every month

math, etc.” Choose colored binders with

www.fredericksburgparent.net/guides/

clear front/side areas for clear labeling.

tutoring-services).

Start with a massive cleaning session to clear out the clutter from last school year. Clear out the backpack, the closet, the bookshelves. Put regular (monthly) cleaning sessions on the calendar to keep up with the paper monster.

Take ownership Your child won’t keep up with any system they didn’t help to create themselves. One mom of three shared,

Staples has a great line of colored 2-inch

You can help make school more

binders with a large attached pocket in

exciting for your ADHD kid by teaching

the front cover with customizable front

them organization skills, working

and sides.

with teachers for long-term success

Homework A spot designated just for doing homework and nothing else is key. No phones or other distractions are allowed. Start with the most difficult subjects first, and take frequent activity breaks. Dana Baker-Williams, mom of X, says,

40 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

throughout the coming school year and beyond. These are skills they can use their whole lives to help them out in college, jobs, and relationships as well. ✷ Kerrie McLoughlin (TheKerrieShow.com) is a 40-something ADD writer and homeschooling mom of 5 surviving AND thriving.

ADHD Organizational Tips for Kids

• WORK THAT PLANNER! Commit to 15 minutes each morning to prepare for the day and 15 minutes at night reviewing and thinking about what could have gone differently. Rebelling against the planner is normal; create rewards for sticking with it. (There are a zillion different planners, so review a bunch on YouTube first.) • DO THINGS IN SMALL CHUNKS. Instead of sitting down until you are done with All. The. Math. Homework… try setting a timer for 15-20 minutes and then get up to move around and come back to it. Just don’t wander too far! • NO PAPER EXPLOSIONS. Keep a small notebook with you and transfer the little jots over to that ONE SPOT (the perfect planner) in a timely

manner. This goes for notes created on phone apps as well. If reminders aren’t put in the right place, they are lost forever.

worry about constantly losing things and trying to find them again, wasting precious time.

• A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING. Once the homework is finished, put the binder/textbook back in your backpack. Keep the backpack in the same spot all the time. File papers in a milk crate system so you always have a spot for them. Once the mess is out of your brain, you don’t have to

• CAN’T STRESS COLOR CODING ENOUGH! Post-it notes and tape flags in various sizes and colors; bins in various sizes and colors; flat drawer organizers; Washi tape for extra personalization; pens, pencils, Sharpies and highlighters they love and will actually use. ✷

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Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 41

Universal Playgrounds:

Where All Children Come Together

very child has the essential and undeniable right to play, and to experience the magic and freedom that comes from an ordinary day at the park. And there is nothing children love more, regardless of their abilities and needs, than playing and socializing alongside one another at the playground! Massachusetts has always been among top-ranking states working hard to ensure and support equal participation for children with disabilities and special needs, and it’s no different when it comes to recreation. Universal playgrounds, accessible to all and designed for children with physical disabilities to experience mobility and have access to equipment and fun, multi-sensory designs is something Boston communities can and should be proud of! Here are some local, inclusive playgrounds that serve as a model for our entire nation that families of all abilities should check out.

natural materials including plants, stone, and wood the Park offers the opportunity for rich outdoor play experiences that connect children with nature and with each other.

Rising Star Playground — Beverly

Unveiled in 2009, this bright and vibrantly colored playground was Boston’s first “Boundless Playground”, and was designed to maximize play with elevated structures such as a gazebo affording children with physical disabilities a greater perspective that was once unreachable, while at the same time encouraging independent play with peers. This site features plenty of high-backed swings and play panels along with multiple handrails, and was furnished through another of Mayor Thomas Menino’s programs.

The big draw for Rising Star Playground is its interactive musical ground components, perfect for kids of all ages to explore together. There are also ramps to access higher structures and a ground level window area for imaginative play. Kids can even visit the Sign Language learning board to learn how to communicate with friends.

Touch The Sky Playground — Beverly Open to the public when school is not in session on afternoons and weekends, this fully accessible North Shore playground features a slide constructed out of roller balls for touch sensations along with learning boards and wide ramps with rubber surfaces. The latest addition to the school’s dedication to children with disabilities, and also open to the community when not in use, is the Douglas Marino Community Field, a rubberized, completely level field that allows children in wheelchairs or with vision impairments to play ball! The school’s executive director, Mark Carlson, wants parents of children with disabilities to know about this community asset, and that it is available to them.

Martin’s Park at the Smith Family Waterfront — Boston Martin’s Park, a City of Boston park, honors the youngest victim of the Boston Marathon bombings, Martin Richard. Martin’s Park is a symbol of Martin’s welcoming and inclusive nature, and a unique outdoor play space created to support outdoor adventure and nature play. The Park, with its many inventive structures, is an inclusive play space offering opportunities for children of all abilities to experience discovery and exploration. Designed to encourage interaction with

42 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

Mayor Thomas M. Menino Park — Charlestown The city’s first universally accessible playground, steps from the Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital in the Charlestown Navy Yard incorporates a ramped play structure, embankment slides and climbers, and a swing chair. This dramatic, waterfront space has been noted for its cleanliness, and was envisioned by Mayor Menino in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombings to afford special needs children, patients, and families the opportunity for active play as well as a place of respite for recovery and relief. In his words, “This is Boston at its best—people coming together to improve the quality of life for the residents of our city.”

Harambee Park — Dorchester

Buttonwood Park Playground and Zoo — New Bedford Named “one of the finest small zoos in the United States”, the Buttonwood complex is wonderfully designed for an outing. The Black Bear Express and Wildlife Carousel are both ADA certified, making them wheelchair accessible for children and just down a path lies the accessible playground with wide ramps and elevated surfaces that allow plenty of room for turning in a wheelchair. Bring some bread to feed the ducks in the idyllic pond, all located on the grounds of Buttonwood Park.

Noah’s Place Playground — New Bedford Located at Marine Park on Pope’s Island, this community-inspired and generously funded and dedicated site is the largest and most sensory-rich inclusive playground in New England. Features of this park include a toddler playground, wheelchair swing, a natural embankment slide, and a seesaw-like apparatus that children of all abilities can enjoy.

Fore River Field and Playground — Quincy

Area — Sudbury

Fore Playground features wide walkways, wheelchair ramps, and wheelchair accessible play equipment, including a seesaw. There are also ground-level sensory activities, like chimes. Along with the playground there are also two little league fields, a street hockey court, tennis court, basketball court, and football field.

Billed as a toddler playground for younger children, the smooth surfaces and ramps throughout this playground make it super accessible. There are also transfer stations, platforms where children can lift themselves out of their wheelchairs onto play equipment. Multiple sports fields and a concession stand are all on-site.

Adventures for Angels — Peabody

Barton Road Playground — Wellesley

This playground features rubber matting surface throughout, high back swings, and a ramp system for children in wheelchairs. Adventures for Angels also has slides with rollers for touch stimulation, as well as special panels, including an interactive Braille clock and wind chimes.

Opened in 2013, this privately funded, 10,000 sq. ft. universal playground hits all the marks of inclusive play for children and is well equipped with completely accessible rubber surfacing, ADA swings, and multiple ground components. Learning boards feature Spanish to English language and the impressive site is sectioned for kids ages 2-5 and 5-12.

Amelia Grace Place — Rockport The town of Rockport’s public elementary school playground, Amelia Grace Place, is open to the public during non-school hours. The playground includes accessible swings, climbing structures that enable a wheelchair to go to the top, and many ground-level activities, including Braille, Sign Language, and English to Spanish learning boards.

Bill Adelson Playground at Haskell Recreation

Ronan McElligott Memorial Playground — Westford Located at Edwards Beach, the Ronan McElligott Memorial Playground is full of outdoor fun for kids of all abilities. The playground features universally accessible surfacing and pathways for wheelchairs so every child can reach the highest play deck. There are swings and bouncers with neck and back supports. Along with play structures there is interactive fun for all kids, including metal tubes that make music and a rotating sensory bin.

Boston Area Museum Inclusion Programs Boston Children’s Museum Morningstar Access offers families of children with special needs the wonderful opportunity to visit and experience the exhibits at a less crowded time, with less concern about infection, and a limit of only 100 guests. Read what parents had to say about this program on their website. First Saturdays. www. bostonchildrensmuseum.org

Discovery Museum This museum’s Backyard and Beyond: Sensory Sundays is a great way for the whole

Museum of Fine Arts

family to enjoy time outdoors, no matter the weather! Every Sunday morning do a naturebased activity based on the weather and season, either in Discovery Woods or out on the adjacent conservation land. All ages are welcome but activities are designed for 2-6 year olds. The museum also holds Especially for Me series of events with dedicated hours for families with disabilities with limited capacity and the opportunity to network with other families. www. discoveryacton.org

New England Aquarium

Museum of Science This museum’s dedicated Accessibility Coordinator will assist families with all aspects of accessibility for children with disabilities from everything to the sensory-friendly restrooms and the quieter places and lesscrowded exhibits throughout the museum. www.mos.org/ visit/accessibility

Museum of Fine Arts The MFA’s Beyond the Spectrum is a program designed to introduce the Museum to children and teens on the autism spectrum, including Asperger’s Syndrome.

Boston Children’s Museum

Classes are divided by age for 8-12-year-olds and for teens aged 13-18. www. artfulhealing@mfa.org

New England Aquarium The aquarium offers Sensory Inclusive Access periodically. During these special hours, the aquarium is closed to the general public and families are welcome to explore all levels. Along with the use of soft lighting and limited use of the microphone, and other modifications to ensure a comfortable environment for all participants. www.neaq.org/ visit/accessibility/

Museum of Science

Discovery Museum

Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 43

IS IT JUST A “PHASE”— OR SOMETHING MORE SERIOUS? If your child is struggling, Borderline Personality Disorder may be the cause. We will find the answers, together.

877.203.2240 mclean.org/bpd

44 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

By Kimberly Baker

Mental Health Care Providers – Finding a Quality, Knowledgeable Therapist

“AT LEAST 100 MILLION PEOPLE CURRENTLY LIVING IN THE UNITED STATES WILL, AT SOME TIME IN THEIR LIVES, EXPERIENCE PROBLEMS IN RELATIONSHIPS, become depressed, or develop anxiety so serious that they will merit psychiatric diagnosis and would benefit from the services of a mental health care professional,” according to Larry E. Beautler, Bruce Bongar and Joel N. Shurkin in A Consumer’s Guide to Psychotherapy: A Complete Guide to Choosing the Therapist and Treatment That’s Right for You. continued on next page >>> Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 45

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As a consumer, do your research to assure the validity of your diagnosis or form of therapy or treatment. If you discover contradictions from reputable sources, discuss it with your therapist. Should your child be faced with such a crisis, know how to find a reputable mental health care provider with the expertise you need and that you can trust.

Finding a Trustworthy, Reputable Therapist

Most mental health care professionals adhere to ethical guidelines but, as with any field, there are always a few bad apples. Know how to screen. Begin your search by asking family or friends for recommendations or check out the local resources on the next page. Phone three or four therapists and ask about their credentials, policies and treatment methods. You should ask the following questions: • What are your areas of expertise? • How much experience do you have with my particular issues? • Are you licensed or certified by the state? • Has your license ever been suspended or revoked? If so, can you tell me about the situation? • What are your professional affiliations? • What forms of treatment and therapy do you provide? What evidence is there to support its effectiveness? Is there controversy among mental health care professionals regarding this treatment? • What are your fees? Do you accept my insurance or work on a sliding scale? If you can’t get answers to these basic questions over the phone, look elsewhere. If you’re satisfied with the therapist’s responses, check with your state licensing department to verify the license status and to make sure no actions have been taken against the therapist.

Evidence-Based Practice

Once you begin therapy, complications still may arise. According to Beautler, Bongar, and Shurkin, therapists who base their beliefs on personal experiences often reject scientific findings that don’t coincide with their beliefs. As a consumer, do your research to assure the validity of your diagnosis or form of therapy or treatment. If you discover contradictions from reputable sources, discuss it with your therapist. It may be a simple misunderstanding or data of which your therapist was not aware. If your therapist rejects the information, ask why and determine if the reason is valid or is based on personal opinion. If it’s preventing you from obtaining a proper diagnosis and/or treatment, find a therapist that recognizes those findings.

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Though rare, unethical therapists have been known to misdiagnose for financial gain. More commonly, those with questionable practices may recommend unnecessary, inappropriate, outdated or unproven treatments. That said, “Your therapist is obligated not to take advantage of you, either intentionally or unintentionally through negligence or ignorance, and to act only in your best interests,” explain Jack Engler, Ph.D., and Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., in The Consumer’s Guide to Psychotherapy: The Authoritative Guide for Making Informed Choices About All Types of Psychotherapy.

Mental Health Care Ethics

There are certain rules set by state licensing divisions as well as the American Psychological Association and other mental health associations that providers must follow. Some serious ethical violations you should be aware of are that mental health care providers may not: • Disclose information about you without prior written consent or even verify that you are being seen by the therapist except under certain situations, such as when child abuse is reported; • Suggest that you do something that is undeniably harmful, immoral or illegal; • Treat you for or offer services that are outside his or her area of expertise; • Offer experimental or unproven therapies without informing you of such; or • Degrade you because of your values or problems or pressure you to change them.

Handling Ethics Violations and Negligence

If you feel your rights have been violated or your therapist has treated you with negligence, there are several options according to Engler and Goleman. If the violations are minor, you might want to discuss the problem with your therapist. You can also seek a second opinion to determine whether it’s a misunderstanding or a valid complaint. If your complaint seems valid and is serious enough to warrant such, you can file a formal complaint with the appropriate ethics committee or with the state licensing or certification board. This is an important step if there’s concern that someone else might be harmed by the therapist’s practices.

Finally, if your therapist acted negligently rather than simply unethically, a civil malpractice suit may be in order. Remember, most people have positive experiences with their therapist. Just be aware of unforeseen problems and take precautionary steps, and you’ll avoid the risk of a negative experience. ✷ Kimberly Blaker is an author and freelance writer.

MENTAL HEALTH CARE RESOURCES Arbour Health System – 855-575-2273; www.arbourhealth.com

Federation for Children with Special Needs – 617-236-7210; www.fcsn.org Massachusetts Department of Mental Health – 617-626-8000; www.mass.gov/eohhs/gov/departments/dmh McLean Hospital – 877-626-8140; www.mcleanhospital.org New England Center for Mental Health – 978-679-1200; www.nementalhealth.com Riverside Community Care – 781-329-0909; www.riversidecc.org

Cambridge Health Alliance – Adult: 617-591-6033, Child: 617-665-3458; www.challiance.org

Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 47

Executive Functions CHILDREN ARE AP T TO FORGE T TO REMEMBER By Kat Marsh, M.Ed.

Executive functions are a collection of mental processes that guide our everyday actions and help us plan for the future. Think of them as the characteristics and behaviors a person in charge of running a company would need to succeed. Some executive functions help us pay attention and remember details, others help us organize our thoughts or the physical space we live in, still others help us figure out the best way to solve problems or plan what we should do next. Researchers are trying to sort out and define executive functions with names such as metacognition (thinking about thinking), working memory (visual or verbal information we hold onto while we’re making decisions), response inhibition (holding back unfruitful reactions), and task initiation (getting started on non-preferred tasks). Some figure we have eight or ten distinguishable executive functions. Others suggest there could be more than thirty. Although all executive functions interact and some overlap, we can make sense out of most executive functions by categorizing similar ones together into four groups:

GROUP ONE IS WHAT I CALL THE STP GROUP: SPACE, TIME, AND PLANNING. This group has to do with keeping physical space organized, having a sense of the sweep of time, and planning that has to do with time management. Caution: organized space can look messy to another person. The key factor is whether the organizer can work effectively in the space. For children, these spaces are typically their homework space, backpack, and locker. If your child’s spaces look messy, but they know where everything is and can find things they need, then they have some kind of organization scheme that makes sense to them. Sensing the sweep of time means being accurate when estimating how much time a task will take, and as you work, gauging whether you need to speed up to finish. GROUP TWO IS THE GET UP AND GO GROUP. This group

48 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

has to do with getting started on your work, keeping your attention focused on the work, and sticking with a goal that you work at little by little, like saving up money over several weeks to buy a toy or game.

GROUP THREE IS THE HOLD ON! GROUP. This group has to do with holding back knee-jerk responses and being aware of when your emotions are getting out of control so you can pause and calm down.

GROUP FOUR IS THE PROBLEM-SOLVING GROUP. This group manages your working memory, your ability to think flexibly, and your ability to step back and look at your overall progress. Executive functions can be assessed using both formal and informal methods. Formal assessments were designed for clinical use with adults and test language, memory, and motor skills. Informal assessments were designed to uncover information about naturally occurring behavior in an everyday environment. With formal methods some tests to measure one executive function can mask other executive functions. For example, test items are often presented in brief groupings that may mask sustained attentional issues.

INFORMAL ASSESSMENTS CAN BE USED TO SUPPLEMENT FORMAL ASSESSMENTS, AND ARE OFTEN PREFERRED BECAUSE THEY MAY REVEAL MORE ABOUT HOW YOUR CHILD FUNCTIONS IN EVERYDAY LIFE. Two components of the assessment process are important to consider: standardized behavior rating scales and class-

room observations. Parents, teachers, and sometimes the child, can be interviewed, or can fill out a structured interview form for behavior rating scales which provide a statistically-normed comparison to highlight areas of concern. They gauge how well your child’s environment and behaviors may be contributing to struggles with executive functions and can be a starting point for developing interventions.

CLASSROOM OBSERVATIONS, CONDUCTED BY A TRAINED OBSERVER, CAN PROVIDE MORE OBJECTIVE VIEWS OF YOUR CHILD IN THE CONTEXT OF THE DEMANDING ENVIRONMENT OF THE CLASSROOM. Observations can

be reviewed to select interventions that will be most effective for your child in different types of classroom situations. For example, your child may need more guidance during less structured times like gym or lunch. Executive function assessments will generally provide information on attention, working memory, organization, concept formation, and flexible thinking.

ation and consider the correct or most effective way to respond.

WORKING MEMORY MAKES IT POSSIBLE TO HOLD ONTO INFORMATION TEMPORARILY IN ORDER TO PUT IT TO USE. If a teacher gives a three-step instruction, your child may lose track of where she is in the sequence, resulting in frustration or anxiety. Planning, sequencing, and organizing information are essential for learning new information, for problem-solving, for completing tasks efficiently, and for participating in complex discussions. Concept formation is the ability to categorize items based on what they have in common, select items that are different and explain why, and figure out patterns or relationships between items. If your child cannot readily see relationships between items, he will struggle to link new ideas with what he already knows. Concept formation is also the basis for more abstract thinking.

FLEXIBLE THINKING MEANS YOUR CHILD CAN SHIFT FROM ONE TASK TO ANOTHER OR BE OPEN TO A CHANGE IN PERSPECTIVE WHEN LEARNING NEW INFORMATION. If

A CHILD’S ABILITY TO PAY ATTENTION IMPACTS ALL AREAS OF LEARNING—NOT ONLY ACADEMIC, your child can think flexibly, she can see BUT PHYSICAL AND SOCIAL AREAS new ways of doing things, or be willing AS WELL. Some childhood daydreamto think of or try out a new solution to a ing is to be expected, but moderate inattention may impact your child’s success when teachers are giving instructions or when chatting or playing with peers.

problem. Speaking of solving problems, in part two we will look at how to support your child’s executive functions.

A CHILD’S ABILITY TO HOLD BACK FROM AUTOMATIC RESPONSES, OR PAUSE BRIEFLY TO THINK BEFORE ACTING IS TIED TO SELF-CONTROL. Although self-control takes time to develop, it is important when children must assess a new situ-

continued on next page >>> Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 49

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Executive Functions DOWN THE Y FORGOT A S UP THE Y GRE W By Kat Marsh, M.Ed.

As your child grows and develops, his executive functions will develop along with him. Executive functions continue to develop into early adulthood, so it’s never too late to raise your expectations of what your child may be able to do in this area. YOUNG CHILDREN AGES 3-4 SHOULD BE ABLE TO FOLLOW A SIMPLE DIRECTION SUCH AS, “GET YOUR COAT,” OR, “PUT THESE TOYS IN THE TOYBOX.” They should be able to hold back from touching a hot stove or hitting another child. Over the next few years and into first grade, your child will expand on those skills by carrying out simple two-step or three-step instructions, and recalling safety rules. With some reminders, your 5-7-year-old can carry out more generalized chores such as, “make your bed,” or, “unpack your backpack,” because they will be able to sequence the specific details on their own. Children this age will begin to sense the sweep of time, understanding that if they get out of bed late, they will need to speed up their morning routine to get to school on time. With some reminders, they will be aware of papers that need to be brought home and some that need to be brought back to school. By the time your child is well into elementary school, between 8 and 11 years old, she should be able to work more independently with chores, keep track of belongings, and recognize when best behavior is required. Children at this age will also experience and learn to manage days with different schedules, unexpected changes in schedules, and assignments that require some planning such as selecting a choice book to read or creating a poster with printed

pictures, drawings, and words. At this age your child’s ability to get started on homework, stick with it until it’s done, or ask for help when needed are signs that executive functions are in the process of developing.

PRE-ADOLESCENT CHILDREN MAY TRY OUT DIFFERENT SYSTEMS FOR ORGANIZING SCHOOLWORK, AND RECOGNIZE THE NEED FOR PLANNING AFTER SCHOOL TIME, BUT THEY MAY NEED REINFORCEMENT OR SOME TRIAL-AND-ERROR TO FULLY EMBRACE THESE SKILLS. Pre-

adolescents are also developing their sense of how to manage themselves when they are away from adults, such as when babysitting or when their teacher is temporarily out of the classroom. By the time your child enters high school, he should be ready to take on more complex tasks such as managing a varying workload of homework, projects, upcoming tests, and after school activities. He should recognize social situations where recklessness or taking risks is too dangerous, and he should start thinking about longer term goals such as developing plans for after high school. Executive functions will continue to develop and be refined as your child moves beyond high school, but be on the lookout for a progression of skills, and prepare for setbacks along the way.

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TO SUPPORT YOUR CHILD’S

DEVELOPMENT OF EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONS, CONSIDER PLANNING EARLY FOR A GRADUAL HANDOFF OF RESPONSIBILITY, AND ALLOW FOR BOUTS OF TRIAL-ANDERROR. One of the most helpful supports for a child is the time you take to reflect briefly on what’s working and what’s not working for your child and your family. Caution: aim for a truly reflective discussion, rather than jumping right to a lecture about how you think your child should manage things. It’s important for a child to have the benefit of their own experiences along with tales of your struggles and successes. It can take three times as long for a three-year-old to put on and zip his own jacket, rather than having you do it for him, but the experience is worth the time. Consider how to further your relationship with your child around executive functions.

CHILDREN WHO ARE WORKING ON OR STRUGGLING WITH EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONS BENEFIT FROM KNOWING THAT YOU RECOGNIZE THEIR STRUGGLE AND THEIR EFFORTS. Acknowledge the current situation and try to keep discussions focused on the future. Tell them about how you struggled to organize your backpack or desk. Then, instead of telling them what you think

they should do, ask them about some possible things they think they could do. Once they start thinking about solutions, you can offer some suggestions of your own. Another important consideration is the language you use when talking to your child about executive function struggles. If you are frustrated or worried about whether they have completed their homework, you might ask, “Did you do your homework?” Even if you say this in the most comforting and solicitous tone, it may sound like an accusation to your child, resulting their anxiety or frustration. Instead ask, “Did the homework get done?” Now, you have removed the possibility of

direct accusation and raised a joint concern along with your child about the homework. Oh, the poor homework, did it get done?

LANGUAGE CAN HELP CUE YOUR CHILD TO DEVELOP HER EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONS. INSTEAD OF TELLING YOUR CHILD WHAT TO DO, ASK HER WHAT OR WHEN SHE PLANS TO DO SOMETHING. “Clean out your backpack now,” becomes, “When would be a good time to clean out your backpack?” If you cue them to know what to do by themselves, it becomes easier to follow up without a confrontation because, “you didn’t do what I told you to do,” is going to lead to an argument, but, “you didn’t do what

you said you were going to do,” will lead your child to follow through on her own promises. If reinforcement is needed, you can always ask, “How can I help you with your task?” You avoid a direct confrontation, and emphasize that they are capable, and you are supportive. You may have to guide them through the initial step to get them started. Afterwards, you can revisit and talk about what they think worked and didn’t work and what they might do differently next time. As they grow, they will benefit from these initial experiences developing executive functions that will serve them well in the future. ✷ Kat Marsh teaches study skills at Commonwealth Learning Center in Danvers.

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SPECIAL EDUCATION

A R E F E R E N CE G U IDE FOR PA R E NT S

Addressing Challenging Behavior and How it Relates to the IEP Process

By Dana Howell Board Certified Behavioral Analyst Easterseals Massachusetts ABA Services | Rehablitation Services Department

hen you have a child with academic, social, or behavioral challenges, providing them with the correct supports can be an overwhelming and confusing process. How do you ensure that teachers and therapists effectively meet the needs of your child? For many families, the creation of an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) accomplishes this goal. An IEP is a legal document that outlines the specific supports, services, and instructional methods a child needs to make meaningful progress in a school setting. If your child also engages in challenging behavior, additional supports, assessments, and written plans may be necessary. These documents provide the educational team with a structured protocol, ensuring that they work collaboratively to reduce challenging behaviors, teach functional replacement behaviors, and assist with creating an optimal learning environment for your child.

WHAT IS AN FBA? A Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) is the first step of the behavior evaluation process. Typically, an FBA is conducted after the classroom teacher or a related service provider identifies concerns about the frequency or intensity of certain behaviors. The goal of an FBA is to describe a child’s challenging behavior, discover the reasons why those behaviors

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are occurring, and to develop a plan to teach adaptive alternatives to those behaviors. Once concerns have been raised, a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) will conduct a FBA. They will gather information systematically through both direct and indirect measures. Direct measures include observations and data collection. ABC data collection is a direct measurement tool that evaluates the antecedents (i.e. what happened before a behavior occurred), behavior (i.e. what the child did), and the consequences (i.e. how the adult responded) in relation to challenging behavior. ABC data indicates the factors that influence behavior and helps discover why a particular reaction may occur. In addition to ABC data, the evaluator completes several observations of the child in his or her natural environment. The purpose of conducting an observation is to watch and document behavior as it is happening. Direct observation allows the BCBA to see, not only the frequency and severity of the behavior, but also the antecedents and consequences that impact each situation. BCBAs also use indirect measures which often include informal rating scales, parent/ teacher/therapist interviews, and a review of the child’s records. Each of these indirect measures allows the people who know the child best to contribute information about why a particular behavior occurs. The information collected during the FBA process helps to

An IEP is a legal document that outlines the specific supports, services, and instructional methods a child needs to make meaningful progress in a school setting. answer the question “Why are challenging behaviors occurring?” After assembling the relevant information and reviewing it thoroughly, the BCBA will identify the reasons why behaviors are occurring. The information from the FBA is then used to create a Behavior Intervention Plan.

WHAT IS A BIP? A Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) is a set of protocols aimed to address a child’s challenging behavior. This document provides the educational team with a consistent set of written strategies to use on a day-to-day basis with a child. The first step is to describe, in detail, the child’s challenging behaviors. It is important to write these descriptions in a way that explains what the behavior “looks like.” This ensures that the behaviors can be easily tracked and recorded by the educational team. In addition to behavioral descriptions, the BIP also includes antecedent-based interventions, adaptive alternatives to challenging behavior, a reinforcement plan, and consequence procedures. Antecedent-based interventions are strategies designed to stop a behavior before it begins. Some examples include the use of visual supports, transitional warnings, and the arrangement of the environment. Replacement behaviors are behaviors that provide a functional alternative to challenging behavior. For example, children who engage in escape-maintained behavior are often taught to request a break. Asking for a break is a functionally equivalent request. It allows the child to escape from the task briefly but also ensures that they return to work once the

break is over. Designating a reinforcement system is another essential aspect of a BIP and ensures the delivery of positive praise or rewards in response to desired behaviors. When appropriate behaviors are rewarded in a positive way, it increases the likelihood of appropriate behaviors recurring in the future. The final section included in a BIP is a list of consequence procedures. This list provides staff with consistent responses to challenging behavior. Having an outline of procedures decreases the opportunity for accidental reinforcement of challenging behaviors. A well written BIP will ensure your child’s success in developing adaptive alternatives to any challenging behavior.

HOW DO THESE DOCUMENTS RELATE TO THE IEP PROCESS? Functional Behavioral Assessments and Behavior Intervention Plans are both legal documents and are individualized for each child. Frequently, when an FBA and BIP are completed, the team will also develop an IEP goal area that focuses on behavior. A behavior goal area ensures the teaching of replacement behaviors, the use of data collection systems, and progress monitoring. If you feel that your child’s behavior impacts their progress in school, you may want to request a Functional Behavioral Assessment to gain more information about the reasons why those behaviors are happening in the first place. ✷

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SPECI AL EDUCATION continued

Knowing When You Should Request a Third Party Evaluation By Paul Medeiros OTR/L President & CEO Easterseals Massachusetts

uring the Individualized Education Plan (IEP) creation process, it is not unusual for a parent to disagree with a recommendation from one or more of the school’s team members. If a compromise cannot be reached, there is a risk that this difference in opinion can lead to an IEP not being signed by one or both sides. Since the ultimate goal of the IEP is to ensure that your child receives the services they need to succeed, it is in your best interest to understand all of your options. However, before determining your best course of action, you need to understand the basis for the disagreement. The more effectively you can evaluate the situation objectively, the better you can advocate for services.

WHY IS THE IEP TEAM MEMBER MAKING THIS RECOMMENDATION? While there can be exceptions, most educators and professionals have your child’s best interests in mind. If you do not agree with the recommendations of the professional it can be easy to assume that there are other factors that are impacting their recommendation such as budget constraints or personality conflicts. It is important to note the professionals assessing your child are making recommendations that they believe are appropriate based on their education and experience. As trained professionals they will work with you and the team to establish measurable goals that your child will be able to meet, and ideally throughout the course of treatment frequency of services will decrease and potentially even stop. Another factor to consider is that the IEP team may be seeing different results than you see at home. It is not unusual for children to behave and perform differently in different environments. Your

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Occupational Therapist may be watching your child cut or write effectively at school while they refuse to even pick up a pair of scissors at home. After a long day at school, it is not uncommon for children to rebel against more work with the people they love and trust the most.

WHY DO YOU FEEL THE RECOMMENDATION IS NOT APPROPRIATE? If it appears that the IEP team is not willing to compromise on their recommendation, it is in your best interest to examine exactly why you feel it is inaccurate. Many parents have to work hard to get their child onto an IEP, and it is completely natural to be nervous about giving up services. Make sure that you can clearly explain the areas that you feel your child needs assistance. If you can give examples that will only strengthen your case to the team, or at the least give them the opportunity to explain why they disagree. It’s important to relay your concerns as professionally as possible to prevent the team from becoming defensive. An effective IEP meeting is a collaborative process! You are an important part of this team and your opinions and insights matter.

IS IT TIME FOR ANOTHER OPINION? Sometimes after all of this consideration and discussion, you still cannot come to an agreement. Unfortunately, at this point both sides are probably a bit frustrated and compromise has become unlikely. As the parent, you should not sign an IEP that you feel does not meet your child’s needs, so what do you do? If this is your first time going through this process, it can be intimidating to stand up to a team of teachers, administrators, and therapists. All too

It is important to note the professionals assessing your child are making recommendations that they believe are appropriate based on their education and experience. often, at this point a parent will either give in or seek legal counsel to protect their child’s rights. There is third option. This is the perfect opportunity to request a third-party evaluation. A third-party evaluator should be an individual or organization that is not related to the school or parent. The school district is responsible for contracting and paying for the evaluation. This contracted individual will perform an unbiased evaluation and make a recommendation to the entire IEP team based on the findings of that assessment.

WILL YOUR SCHOOL DISTRICT AGREE? Assuming the clinician and administration believe in the recommendation, it is actually beneficial for them to pursue a third-party evaluation. The role of the evaluator is not to take sides. As a parent, you should also be prepared for the possibility that the evaluator will agree with the recommendation in the IEP. At that point, you can feel comforted by the fact that your child is making progress towards their goals. On the other hand, if the evaluator does not agree with the recommendation, it will be harder for the school district to remain inflexible. While there is a cost to pursuing a contracted evaluator, even that should not be a barrier to obtaining one. The cost of a onetime evaluation will be far lower than the time investment and cost of entering mediation or other legal dispute. Most school administrators will understand this and approve the evaluation

rather than choosing to engage in a legal battle. The Educator or Clinician may also value another opinion. Often teachers, doctors, and therapists are thought of as knowing everything, but this is not the case. More importantly, they realize this and the best will welcome an opportunity to have their assessment validated by an outsider. In addition, if the IEP team member is inexperienced, they may truly value the opinion of a more experienced professional. Particularly in smaller districts, it is not unusual for a therapist to be the only one in the district. If this is their first job, they may benefit from the mentorship that a third party evaluator would provide without feeling threatened.

CONCLUSION In the end, an effective IEP team will have one goal in mind: To collaboratively develop a plan to ensure the child has all of the resources in place to maximize success. Like any effective team, disagreements will occur, but how those disagreements are resolved will be the difference between a positive and negative outcome. As a parent, it can be difficult to balance your role as advocate for your child with trusting and respecting the opinions of the professionals at the table. Sometimes getting an unbiased opinion can provide you the reassurance you need to accept a recommendation, or provide the support you need to be an even stronger advocate. ✷ Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 55

SPECI AL EDUCATION continued

Every Child Can Succeed

Understanding the Special Education Process and Feeling Positive About Support Received in a School Setting By Andrea Freeman, PT, DPT & Tiffany Palenscar, PT, DPT Doctors of Physical Therapy and Mothers of Two

s parents, we are always asking ourselves these types of questions and worrying about each step in our children’s lives. Each child learns differently, which may mean that additional support in school is needed in certain areas. If this is the case, your child’s teacher or a school administrator may discuss having your child evaluated for special education services with you. At the first mention of these words, you may feel nervous, overwhelmed, or even angry as a parent; however, special education services were created to help children succeed in school and should not be considered a negative or scary experience. By knowing what to expect, it can help to minimize these confusing or negative feelings when it comes to special education services in school.

WHAT ARE SPECIAL EDUCATION SERVICES IN SCHOOLS? The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) is the law that ensures all children receive free appropriate public education (FAPE). Special education services are provided under IDEA and are required to be individualized. Special education is created to be specific to each student’s needs and is not a “one size fits all” type of program. A child qualifies for special education services when he or she has a disability that impacts their ability to access the school curriculum or environment. If your child qualifies for special education, an individualized education plan (IEP) will be created in order to implement goals and accommodations to help your child succeed.

WHAT ARE THE FIRST STEPS?

You will receive a consent form from your child’s school

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asking for your permission for the school staff to complete a formal evaluation in one or more areas to help determine if your child is eligible for special education services. Once you return your signed consent forms to the school district, the specialists in the school will schedule their assessments and proceed with testing. The specialists will complete reports summarizing the results of the evaluations as well as provide recommendations in each specific area. Based on the results of the initial evaluations, you will meet with the school district to discuss the results and determine if services, accommodations, or interventions should be provided to ensure your child has the best possible opportunity to succeed in school.

WHAT AREAS WILL BE EVALUATED? The school district will propose specific areas for evaluation to assess your child’s needs and guide their recommendations for support. Educational assessments completed by the classroom teacher, special education team, school psychologist, or reading specialists will give the team information regarding your child’s academic performance and participation in the school day.

A new school year can bring feelings of excitement, but for some families it can also bring anxiety and stress. Related services, such as Speech and Language Pathology, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Vision, or Applied Behavior Analysis may be included in the evaluation plan depending on your child’s individual need.

education services will be provided. The team will also include information regarding any necessary accommodations and modifications to the school or classroom environment in order to ensure that your child has the ability to successfully participate in the school curriculum.

WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE RESULTS OF THE EVALUATIONS? WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? Once all assessments have been completed, you will be sent an invitation for a team meeting by the school district where you will sit down with your child’s teacher, the specialists who completed evaluations for your child, and special education or school district staff. During the meeting, you will discuss as a team the results of the evaluations. As a parent, you are a full member of the team and you will have the opportunity to provide input, ask questions, and share your child’s strengths. Your participation in the team meeting is incredibly important. As a parent, you can provide information to the school team that is necessary for your child’s success. Together, it will be determined if your child has a disability that is impacting their ability to make progress with the school curriculum and if specially designed instruction is needed for success. If it is determined that your child qualifies for special education services, the group will work together during the team meeting to develop an IEP.

WHAT IS AN IEP? The IEP is a document that outlines the specific program created for your child during the team meeting. The IEP document will contain information regarding your child’s strengths, current performance in school, placement information, and specific recommendations regarding goals and objectives to be addressed for a period of one year. The IEP will outline the frequency and duration in which the special

Based on the outcome of the team meeting, an IEP will be developed by the school district. The document will be sent to you within 10 days for your review. If you agree with all of the information and recommendations included in the IEP, you will sign that you accept the document and return it to the school district. The IEP will then be implemented by the educational team once it is received. If you do not agree with the IEP or feel that changes need to be made, you are able to reject a specific portion or the IEP in its entirety. In this case, the team would reconvene to establish a plan that all members of the team support. Once the IEP is finalized and accepted, it will be your child’s specialized plan for one full year. The team will then meet again annually to update the document. As parents, we want our children to succeed in every way possible. When our children struggle in school, it can often feel overwhelming and discouraging. Working with the school district to support your child’s individual needs can help alleviate some of these feelings. Special education services are meant to ensure that your child will receive the tools and support needed to be successful and empower your child to achieve their greatest potential. Remember that you are a vital member of your child’s educational team and will be included in the process from beginning to end. ✷

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SPECI AL EDUCATION continued

Transition Assessments

What are they? Why are they beneficial? Provided by the Community Support Services Transition & Employment Services team, Easterseals Massachusetts

WHAT ARE THEY? Transition Assessments are most commonly performed when a child has an IEP (Individual Education Plan) or a 504 plan. By Federal law the transition age begins at 16 years old but in the state of Massachusetts it begins at 14 years old. When students reach the age of 14, they are given the Transition Planning Form (TPF). The student and his or her team then focus on establishing transition goals to assist in preparing for life after high school. The TPF is used to assess the student’s ability to determine his or her strengths and weaknesses, how they interact with others in

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school or in their community, their decision-making process on personal or work tasks, their career interests, and independent living skills. Transition assessments are tailored to meet the student’s level of comprehension and are age specific.

WHY ARE THEY BENEFICIAL? It is incredibly important for individuals with disabilities to feel independent and be seen as an equal in their working environment and in their community.

Transition assessments are tailored to meet the student’s level of comprehension and are age specific. Parents need to remember that the support their child receives in school will change in post-secondary education and in employment. It is important that your child becomes an active participant in his or her IEP team. As your child matures some skills that are important have in mind and nurture are the following:

SELF-ADVOCACY AND SELF-DETERMINATION. These are two important skills that should be instilled early on in a child’s life. Research performed by the National Center on Secondary Education Transition (NCSET) (Wehmeyer & Schwartz, 1997) followed youths with developmental delays or learning disabilities one year after graduating from high school. “The study showed a ‘consistent trend characterized by selfdetermined youth doing better than their peers one year out of school. Members of the high self-determination group were more likely to have expressed a preference to live outside the family home, have savings or checking account and be employed for pay” (Wehmeyer & Schwartz, 1997, p.253).

COMMUNICATION SKILLS. Outside the family unit, how does your child reach out to community, employment, volunteering, or post-secondary education? SOCIAL SKILLS. Friends, classmates, extended family, community, employment.

PERCEPTION AND AWARENESS OF STAMINA. What tools do you need to be successful in your personal life, school, or work?

EXECUTIVE FUNCTION SKILLS. Decision making, time management, planning, task initiation, etc. In college or employment your child will not have the support or reminders to carry out these skills. What tools does your child need to do tasks independently? TRANSPORTATION SKILLS. Navigating public transportation or mode of transportation, when in the community or post-secondary education. INDEPENDENT LIVING SKILLS. Shopping, understanding a paycheck, paying bills, paying rent, how to use an ATM, etc. A transition assessment done by an objective evaluator can be used to help determine your child’s baseline and assist the IEP team in identifying and developing transition goals he or she might need to learn and develop while they are still in school. A transition assessment is a roadmap for your child’s life journey. ✷

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By Barbara Dianis

tudents diagnosed with dyslexia, ADD, ADHD or a learning disability may wonder whether they will be able to graduate from high school and/or collegiate studies. I worried over the same issue myself because I was diagnosed with dyslexia in a time period when there were very few strategies to help strengthen my learning disabilities. Education was very important to me, and I wanted to graduate from high school

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and college despite my scholastic challenges. Therefore, I set out to teach myself ways to overcome my learning obstacles and graduate. Through the implementation of systematic step-by-step educational solutions, I, like my students with learning issues, began to master how to overcome learning challenges. Plan homework schedule and study times to begin the school year. The planned work and review times will help your child or teen to help meet the scholastic

increase of the new grade level. The plan should include additional study time even if the child or teen has study halls during their school day. The times can be adjusted on a successful academic achievement basis.

Children and teens entering a higher grade level typically need to upgrade their study skills to help them keep pace with their current curriculum. Children and teens benefit from reviewing the notes they take in each of their classes for at least five minutes a day. Reviewing the class notes taken will help children and teens retain more core learning concepts. Consistent review will also assist their ability to access the information on tests. Younger students can benefit from a few minutes of reviewing concepts such as grammar and phonetic rules.

A parent and their child benefit from checking the student’s grades online together several times a week. Parents who check grades online with their son or daughter show them they care about education. Additionally, if there are downturns in their grades or missing assignments, then educational solutions can be applied before their difficulty becomes a scholastic issue. The extra accountability generally helps students of all grade levels stay on track throughout the school year. Students of all ages often respond positively to their parents’ praise when they see good grades.

Tests and quizzes become an important part of the academic experience. Children and teens should add more study and preparation time to the system they used in the previous grade level. Students of all ages benefit from studying for tests and quizzes several days before they are given. Parents can help their student understand that their brains may need time to absorb and readily access the educational concepts they will be tested over. Waiting until the day before a test may not be the best option for students because of the increase in information, which is associated with each new scholastic level.

As soon as a student begins to slide, academically educational solutions should be applied to help the child or teen overcome their academic obstacles. All too often scholastic slides are not addressed early enough because the parent may feel it is a problem that will correct itself. It is generally better to address the academic difficulty early on before the child’s or teen’s grades begin to spiral downward. One way to address scholastic slides is to help your child correct mistakes on graded assignments that have multiple mistakes on them.

Parents can help make learning fun during homework and study time. Children and teens can make review and drill time into a game show format using flash cards. They can make these from their study material. When review time is presented in a game show format, students generally are more engaged throughout the learning process. Parents may wish to host a study review time for their child with several students in their son’s or daughter’s classes. Students of all grade levels generally enjoy the review process when it is made into a game they are playing with their friends.

Parents can help their child or teen develop an interest in learning by asking their teen to tell them three concepts they learned in their classes each day. Asking your child or teen to report several core concepts learned in class can also help improve his or her ability to focus in class. In addition, the student typically will report the class to be more interesting and fun.

If a child or teen is struggling in the area of math, then prelearning the mathematical formulas can really help increase the student’s understanding of new concepts. Previewing the key concepts from the upcoming lesson can help the student absorb and glean more information from the instructional teaching lesson. Students can pre-learn new math concepts by reading the following day’s lesson in their online text or textbook. Next, the student should make a notation of concepts that are not understood. The child or teen should ask the teacher for further instruction on the more difficult mathematical concepts. In addition, students benefit from reviewing key terms to increase their mathematical vocabulary to improve their understanding during the lectures. Students of all grade levels and ages who implement educational solutions to help them overcome areas of academic weakness can improve in their educational skills. Generally, children and teenagers will discover over time they are accurately able to spend less time learning new scholastic concepts as their organizational skills and study habits improve. Students may find learning to be fun as they become capable to meet scholastic challenges and overcome their learning weaknesses. Another added benefit from implementing educational solutions into their daily study time is they may have a renewed sense of academic self-esteem, dignity and a restored positive attitude toward their studies. By igniting students’ interests and understanding, improved grades can be the result of their increased scholastic skills. ✷ Barbara Dianis overcame dyslexia in her own life using self-taught strategies and techniques. She is the author of Grade Transformer for the Modern Student (LuLu Publishing Services, 2014) and has counseled parents of children with special needs for 24 years.

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hese Massachusetts organizations offer support, information and/or advocacy for individuals with special needs, their parents and their caregivers. Many of these groups also offer referrals or links to related services.

Advocates for Autism of Massachusetts

781-891-6270; www.afamaction.org – Public advocacy organization offering resources regarding autism spectrum disorder. Click “links” for support centers in your area.

The Arc of Massachusetts

781-891-6270; www.thearcofmass.org - The Arc of Massachusetts provides education and systems advocacy to consumers, families, human services organizations, the public, legislators, other public officials, and the executive branch.

Asperger’s Autism Network of New England 617-393-3824; www.aane.org – The Asperger / Autism Network (AANE) works with individuals, families, and professionals to help people with Asperger Syndrome and similar autism spectrum profiles build meaningful, connected lives. Autism Services Association, Inc. (ASA) 781-237-0272; www.autismservicesassociation. org - Autism Services Association (ASA) provides community employment services, supported employment, Day Habilitation Program, and other clinical supports to young adults and adults with autism and other challenging developmental disabilities. 62 Boston Parents Paper | Special Needs Guide

Camp Jabberwocky

508-687-0967; www.campjabberwocky.org – From the end of June to the end of August, Camp Jabberwocky offers children and adults with a wide range of disabilities the chance to enjoy the summer in a small family-like community.

Doug Flutie, Jr. Foundation for Autism

www.flutiefoundation.org – Provides family and technology grants through its programs, along with grants to nonprofit organizations that provide services to individuals with autism.

Dream Day on Cape Cod

508-896-8949; www.dreamdayoncapecod.org – Serves families that have children with life-threatening illnesses and or serious conditions by “bringing a ray of sunshine” into their lives through their family camp, Camp Nan-KeRafe, located in Brewster.

Federation for Children with Special Needs

617-236-7210; 800-331-0688 (in Mass.); www.fcsn.org – Advocacy, resources and information for parents and professionals.

Home Modification Loan Program

www.mass.gov/mrc/hmlp – Facilitated by the Massachusetts Rehabilitation Commission, this program helps individuals with disabilities to fund access and safety modifications to their homes.

Jewish Community Centers of Greater Boston

617-558-6507; www.bostonjcc.org – Offer a full array of special needs programs for children and adults.

Learning Disabilities Worldwide

978-897-5399; www.ldworldwide.org – This professional

organization (for researchers, educators, clinicians and others) has a “parents” section on its website with current articles.

government and individual services for those with disabilities. Its primary mission is to ensure access.

MAAPS: Massachusetts Association of Approved Special Education Schools

617-807-0558; www.masiblingsupport.org – Committed to supporting brothers and sisters of people with disabilities by creating welcoming communities for siblings across the lifespan.

781-245-1220; www.maaps.org – MAAPS represents 81 member schools serving approximately 6,800 children with special needs from Massachusetts and other states and countries. MAAPS’ mission is to represent private special education schools in their goal of providing the highest quality education to students with special needs

Massachusetts Branch of The International Dyslexia Association

617-650-0011; www.ma.dyslexiaida.org – Information and links to resources, such as recommended reading for parents and kids, as well as professional development workshops.

Massachusetts Advocates for Children

617-357-8431; www.massadvocates.org – Free legal services for income-eligible families on educational issues for children 3-22. Advocacy for parents, including Autism Special Education Legal Support Center.

Massachusetts Commission for the Blind

617-727-5550; www.mass.gov/mcb – Provider of services that promote independence and community participation.

Massachusetts Commission for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing 617-740-1600; www.mass.gov/mcdhh – Services for deaf and hard of hearing, including interpreting, case management and technology.

Massachusetts Department of Elementary & Secondary Education

781-338-3000; www.doe.mass.edu – The State’s education website offers information on special education, standardized testing, public schools and related topics.

Massachusetts Down Syndrome Congress

781-221-0024; www.mdsc.org – Statewide parent organization holds annual conference, picnic, and workshops throughout the year. Publishes a newsletter for parents. Maintains a list of parent support groups.

Massachusetts Family TIES

800-905-8437; www.massfamilyties.org – Statewide information, referral, and parent-to-parent support network for families of children with special needs or chronic illness.

Massachusetts Sibling Support Network

Massachusetts Special Olympics

508-485-0986; www.specialolympicsma.org – Sports training and athletic competition in a variety of Olympic-type sports for individuals with disabilities.

MassFamilies Organizing for Change

774-855-6001; www.massfamilies.org – Provides Family Leadership Series and works to educate the community about advocacy, services, and local, state and federal resources for individuals with disabilities. Regional chapters throughout the state.

Parent/Professional Advocacy League (PPAL)

866-815-8122; www.ppal.net – A statewide network of families, local family support groups, and professionals who advocate on behalf of children and adolescents with mental, emotional or behavioral special needs, and their families.

Parental Stress Line

617-926-5008; www.parentshelpingparents.org – This 24-hour call line is staffed by Parents Helping Parents of Massachusetts and provides a supportive ear for parents. Parents support groups are also offered by staff and volunteers.

Partners for Youth with Disabilities

617-556-4075; 617-314-2989 (TT Y); www.pyd.org -Provides adult mentors, one on one and in groups, to kids ages 6 through 22 with disabilities.

Special Needs Advocacy Network

508-655-7999; www.spanmass.org – Supports professional advocates for people with special needs, offers referrals to Massachusetts special needs advocates, and provides special education workshops and training. ✷

Wayside Youth and Family Support Network

508-879-9800; www.waysideyouth.org – We provide a wide variety of mental health counseling and family support services to children, young adults and families in Massachusetts. ✷

Massachusetts Office on Disability

617-727-7440; 800-322-2020 (in Mass.); www.mass.gov/ mod – Information and support concerning community, Special Needs Guide | BostonParentsPaper.com 63

Applied Behavior Learning Services (ABLS)

Campus School at Boston College

At ABLS we offer three models for learning: in-person, remote, or hybrid. We will, together, determine which model works best for your family during the intake process.

The Campus School at Boston College educates students ages 3 to 21 with extensive support needs, including complex health care needs. Our dedicated educators, therapists, and nurses utilize a transdisciplinary approach to realize the potential in each one of our students.

Wellesley • Plymoth • Fall River • Worcester 617-467-4136 www.ablspartners.org

Berklee Institute for Accessible Arts Education (BIAAE)

22 Fenway and 7 Haviland St., Boston (Saturday Arts Education Programs) 8 Fenway, Boston (ABLE Day Sessions Summer Music Program) 617-747-2760 www.berklee.edu/biaae The Berklee Institute for Accessible Arts Education is a catalyst for the inclusion of individuals with disabilities in all aspects of performing and visual arts education.

Boston Ballet Adaptive Dance www.bostonballet.org/ adaptive-dance/

Adaptive Dance offers three types of classes: • Specialized classes for individuals with Down syndrome ages 2–adult in Boston and Newton (Saturday and Sunday) • Specialized classes for individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders ages 5–adult in Boston and Newton (Saturday and Sunday) • Inclusive classes for individuals of all abilities and needs ages 5–adult in Boston and Newton (Saturday)

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140 Commonwealth Ave, Chestnut Hill 617-552-3460 www.bc.edu/campusschool

Since 1970, Campus School at Boston College has been providing exceptional education and care to students with extensive support needs, including complex medical needs. Nestled on the Boston College campus in Chestnut Hill, MA, Campus School proudly offers open enrollment for students aged 3-22.

Cass & Company

75 State St., Boston Portsmouth, NH 888-453-2277 www.casscompany.com Cass and Company can assist you with all your household and domestic staffing needs. We maintain a large pool of professional candidates who provide a wide variety of services for your family and home. Cass & Company places quality candidates for live-out as well as live-in and full time/part time situations for our clients which includes private families, formal households, high profile individuals and celebrities as well as businesses and corporations.

Commonwealth Learning Center

220 Reservoir St., Suite 6, Needham • 781-444-5193 130 Sylvan St., Danvers 978-774-0094 www.commlearn.com Commonwealth Learning Center is an independent nonprofit organization which provides 1-to-1 tutoring and education evaluation services to all ages (kindergarten through adulthood), in all subject areas. We specialize in assisting those who learn differently, including individuals with dyslexia, ADHD, high-functioning autism, executive functioning challenges, etc. Schedules are flexible, and financial aid is available for those who qualify.

Corwin-Russell School at Broccoli Hall 142 North Road, Sudbury 978-369-1444 www.broccolihall.org

“A school’s not a place - it’s people.” It’s a coming together of community and of beliefs shared by many. We believe that education includes learning to build stronger connections to the world. The Corwin-Russell School at Broccoli Hall is a small private college-prep school for around 35 exceptionally bright students, grades 6 to 13. Through involvement in thinking, learning, communicating and evaluating, we help our students build the resourcefulness, self-responsibility and confidence that allows them to take risks and unlock their interests, talents, academic and personal potential. Our educational philosophy, based on the Latin “educare”, is based on trust, responsibility, expression and a belief in each other and the school community.

As well as the traditional academic areas, we offer an outstanding visual and performing arts program, and outdoor learning experiences. Combining theater, music and art workshops students are encouraged to try new things and take risks, practice problemsolving as a group while inspiring each other. Part of our curriculum - the Drama Intersession - provides students with an enriching theater experience. Our outdoor program Project FEAT, seeks to foster a willingness to try something new, push limits and promote selfconfidence. Students participate in activities designed to be individually challenging as well as fun! Our extended campus on Silver Lake in AuSable Forks, New York offers term-time and summer overnight trips.

Education Consulting, Advocacy & Legal Services, LLC

The Federation for Children with Special Needs

www.educationandjuvenilelaw.com/

The Federation for Children with Special Needs (FCSN) provides information, support, and assistance to families of children with disabilities, their professional partners, and their communities. We are committed to listening to and learning from families and encouraging full participation in community life by all people, especially those with disabilities.

999 Broadway, Suite 301, Saugus 781-231-4332

ECALS, LLC. is a private law firm that regularly works with parents and schools on a wide range of special education and regular education issues. We review IEPs and evaluations and attend disciplinary proceedings, Team meetings and BSEA Hearings. Please visit our website for further details.

Evergreen Center

345 Fortune Blvd, Milford 508-478-2631 www.evergreenctr.org

The Evergreen Center was founded in 1982 by Dr. Robert F. Littleton, Jr. to provide day and Due to our small size and our philosophy, we do not rank students residential treatment services for or calculate GPAs. Nearly 97% of our children and adolescents with graduating seniors choose to pursue severe developmental disabilities. Evergreen’s standard for successful a college degree. Our students have instruction is social competence been accepted to an impressive list and community participation. We of post-secondary schools such as believe children will develop to Brown University, Berklee College their maximum potential when of Music, Northeastern University, instruction is woven through daily Suffolk University, University of activities and living environments. London (UK) and more. Evergreen students live in Cotting School residential neighborhoods and 453 Concord Avenue, Lexington travel to and from our school each 781 862-7323 day through the Blackstone Valley Massachusetts countryside. Our www.cotting.org individualized education programs Cotting School meets the unique needs of students with a broad range are based upon the principles of applied behavioral analysis of learning and communication and evidence-based practice. disabilities, physical challenges The Evergreen Center employs and complex medical conditions by a multi-disciplinary team of providing an array of collaborative trained professionals responsible services. Our day and boarding for the success of each student’s programs are designed to enable individualized education program. students to realize their highest potential, both during and after enrollment.

529 Main Street, Suite 1M3, Boston • 617-236-7210 www.fcsn.org

The Gifford School

177 Boston Post Rd., Weston 781-899-9500 www.gifford.org The Gifford School provides educational services in a clinical milieu to students with complex social, emotional, and learning challenges so that they may achieve their full potential. Students from 4th grade through high school are referred to the Gifford School by their public school districts. We serve students from over 50 communities throughout Massachusetts The Gifford School provides all students with equal access to services, facilities, and activities regardless of race, color, sex, gender

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identity, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, disability or homelessness.

Kennedy Day School at Franciscan Children’s

30 Warren Street, Brighton 617-779-1581 www.kennedydayschool.org Kennedy Day School at Franciscan Children’s combines nearly sixty years of experience and proven expertise with an updated facility that reflects our reputation for excellence and innovation. We provide fully collaborative special education, therapeutic and health

services to students from all across Massachusetts, ages three to twentytwo with significant, complex medical, physical and cognitive needs. Kennedy Day School has a year-round open admissions policy. Kennedy Day School, so every kid can learn.

League School Of Greater Boston

300 Boston Providence Turnpike Walpole • 508-850-3900 www.leagueschool.org/ For more than fifty years, League School of Greater Boston has remained committed to helping children and young adults, ages

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3-22, with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) by teaching them the skills they need to be as independent as they possibly can in all aspects of their lives: social, emotional, academic, behavioral, and vocational. We uphold this mission through three distinct programs designed to teach social, academic, behavior and community-life skills based on a student’s age and ability. Each program includes: content area academics (reading, math, science and social studies); full array of services (social pragmatics, communications,

sensory integration, occupational therapy and behavior therapy); adapted physical education, art, music, culinary arts, daily living skills, community field trips and vocational training.

Learning Prep School

1507 Washington Street, West Newton 617-965-0764 www.learningprep.org/ Founded in 1970, Learning Prep School is a non-profit, independent day school approved by the Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education and is a member of The Massachusetts Association of Chapter 766 Approved Private Schools. Complex learning profiles of our students involve a primary language-based deficit such as a specific learning disability in reading/writing or a language disorder. Secondary diagnoses may include ADHD, anxiety, autism spectrum disorder (level 1) and executive functioning weakness.

MAAPS

92 Montvale Ave., Ste 4150, Stoneham 781-245-1220 www.maaps.org MAAPS represents 81 member schools serving approximately 6,800 children with special needs from Massachusetts and other states and countries. MAAPS’ mission is to represent private special education schools in their goal of providing the highest quality education to students with special needs.

May Institute

Multiple Locations 800-778-7601 www.mayinstitute.org We are an award-winning nonprofit organization that provides educational, rehabilitative, and behavioral healthcare services to individuals with autism spectrum disorder and other developmental disabilities, brain injury and neurobehavioral disorders, and other special needs.

Melmark New England

461 River Road, Andover 978-654-4300 www.melmarkne.org Melmark New England serves children, adolescents and adults with autism spectrum disorders, acquired brain injuries, neurological diseases and disorders, developmental and intellectual disabilities, and severe challenging behaviors. We provide clinical, educational, residential, vocational, adult day and allied health services. Consultation services and support are available in the home, community or public school setting.

Milestones Day School and Transition Program

410 Totten Pond Road, Waltham 781 895-3200 www. AdvancingMilestones.com Milestones serves students ages 7-22 with ASD, ADHD, learning disabilities, and/or mental health challenges in our state-of-the-art facility. Students participate in customized academic instruction with embedded therapeutic programming. Our robust teams explicitly teach executive functioning, sensory/motor, social/ language skills and psychological intervention. Our rigorous 21st century academic program, supported by reading and math

specialists, permits AP coursework and dual enrollment opportunities in high school alongside community-based instruction. The collaboration of our skilled clinical, academic & transitions faculty culminates in a community that intuitively responds to each student’s unique needs. Student outcomes translate to individuals emerging with the confidence & skills to achieve a variety of successes including re-entry to public school, college admissions, meaningful relationships, and fulfilling employment. At Milestones, students find a place where they feel they belong, often for the first time and leave prepared for the next step in their journey.

Dr. Moldover & Associates

555 Washington Street, Suite 5, Wellesley • 781-237-1735 www.drmoldover.com Dr. Joseph Moldover and associates provide high quality neuropsychological, psychological and educational evaluations for children and adolescents presenting with learning, developmental, and emotional challenges. We emphasize a high level of responsiveness and continuity of care.

Partners in Child Development (formerly Professional Center for Child Development)

32 Osgood St, Andover 439 S. Union Street, Bldg. 1, Ste. 110, Lawrence 978-475-3806 www.MyPCD.org Nurturing the growth and potential of EVERY child, Partners in Child Development provides children of all abilities with a solid foundation for life-long learning through our educational and therapeutic

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programs. We continue to celebrate and strengthen the partnerships that have supported our growth over the last 50 years, and will help us develop new, innovative educational programs and therapeutic practices in the next 50 years.

Perkins School for the Blind

175 North Beacon St., Watertown 617-924-3434 www.perkins.org At Perkins School for the Blind, our mission is clear: Prepare children and young adults with visual impairments, multiple disabilities, or who are deafblind with the education, confidence, and skills they need to reach their full potential. Because we believe every child can learn. Learn more at Perkins.org/ admissions

Riverview School

551 Route 6A, East Sandwich 508-888-0489 www.riverviewschool.org

for the increasingly diverse world, Riverview supports and nurtures the whole child and their full identity.

Riverview School values each student as an individual and acknowledges the importance of students having a voice in the Riverview School is an independent, development of their goals, program, coeducational boarding/day school, and instruction. Families likewise located on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. play a crucial role, particularly Riverview is a leader in educating in supporting students who need students with complex language assistance in expressing their needs, and learning challenges. We’re desires, and preferences. Consistent committed to helping each of our with Riverview’s mission and whole students gain academic, social, and person philosophy, the School is independent living skills to achieve committed to offering interventions their goals. and identifying strengths that empower students to increase their Riverview School is a community skills in the core competencies that values and celebrates diversity of education, social /emotional, as essential to the experience of our independent living, wellness, and students, staff and community. We vocational readiness. The overall embrace and respect differences, goal is for the Riverview’s graduates including but not limited to: race, to possess the skills that will offer socioeconomic status, gender, the highest degree of access to a sexual orientation, religion, age, fulfilling life. Riverview strives to cultural heritage, educational individualize programming, to be background, and of course learning sensitive to student and family styles. As a community that aspires wishes when possible, and to offer to reflect and prepare our students reasonable accommodations that A leader in educating extraordinary students.

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coincide with its overall approach, philosophy, and program. Riverview also recognizes its role in promoting acceptance and building awareness of the valuable contributions people with unique needs can make to the greater community.

Speech Language Pathology Center Norwell • 781-792-2700 www.slpcenter.com/

along with an individualized plan of care outlining the course of treatment. The therapists have advanced training in augmentative communication (iPads), feeding therapy/oral motor function, speech, language, dyslexia, social skills, voice and stuttering. Therapy is conducted using evidence-based strategies while providing carryover activities to enhance a familycentered service delivery.

The Speech Language Pathology Center is owned and operated by speech-language pathologists. We are an award-winning clinic and have been featured on CBS 60-Minutes for total communication methods. Our team is dedicated to providing exemplary speech, language and feeding therapy in a supportive and nurturing environment.

If you have concerns about your child’s speech or language skills, please call 781-792-2700 to schedule a FREE pediatric screening to determine if a full assessment is recommended.

At Speech Language Pathology Center we conduct in-depth assessments that include clinical observations as well as standardized tools. Upon completion of testing, a diagnosis is formulated and a comprehensive report is written

The Wolf School is a nationally recognized K-8 private special education school located in East Providence, RI. Opened in 1999, The Wolf School works to address the needs of children with multiple learning differences, also known

The Wolf School 215 Ferris Ave., East Providence, R.I. • 401-432-9940 www.wolfschool.org

as Complex Learners. Complex Learners have great capacity for learning, problem solving, creative expression, and social relationships, but do not thrive in a traditional classroom. The Wolf School is able to unlock our student’s potential through our innovative learning approach, the Immersion Model©. This approach “immerses” an occupational therapist and speech therapist in every classroom to work directly alongside the special education teacher, building the necessary services and lessons directly into the curriculum. This unique approach is in contrast to a “pull out” model of special education where students are provided with speech or occupational therapy in a separate room and then required to apply what they learned when brought back to the classroom. By immersing OT and speech/language support into each lesson, students prepare their bodies to listen and attend to task, and develop strategies to learn. ✷

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