Becoming.

bec ming.

JAN/FEB 2019

Exclusive: Phylicia Duncombe

A WOMAN ON THE RISE!

SECURE YOUR BAG!

WHY MILLENNIAL WOMEN ARE CHOOSING NOT TO MARRY

contents

January /February 2019

LashantĂŠ Stubbs

Phylicia Duncombe

Bachelor of Science Biochemistry Founder of Pearls Empowerment Founder & Editor of Becoming Magazine Medical Student

Owner of PD Photography Youtuber at The Real Phylicia

Anadescha Johnson

Ashley J.Darling

Registered Nurse, Author of The Purity Strategy

Mother, Entrepreneur, Author of Beautifully Graced

Dava Bullard

Ashrika Sookoo

Bachelor of Business Administration- Accounting

Medical Student

from the editor

" When you compare yourself to others, you devalue yourself "

L

iving in this day and age can be tough. The pressure to achieve is real, and just when we're happy with our lives and accomplishments someone else comes along that we deem "more progressive", or "more successful". We're often left dissatisfied, discouraged, bitter or even jealous!

This issue of the magazine is all about the trap of comparison; how to overcome it- how to navigate its rough seas. Theodore Roosevelt once said that "comparison is the thief of joy" . I'd take it a step further and say that it robs us of so much more than joy. It robs us of maximizing our full potential. It distracts us from running our own races.

Ultimately, when we compare ourselves to others we devalue ourselves. We diminish our uniqueness and overlook how special and essential we really are.

The world can use the talents and gifts we have to offer!

I encourage you to stop being so hard on yourself. It's okay to Iive your life free of comparison and it IS possible! God has so much in store for you. His plans toward you are good. Look to Him, don't be deceived by comparison.

"...shine like lights in a dark world."

-Philippians 2:15

XOXO, L. Stubbs

Founder, Pearls Empowerment 4 | Oct/Nov 2018

be transformed ROMANS 12:2

contents

January /February 2019

for

for your spirit

Anadescha Johnson & The Purity Strategy p..37

Woman on The Rise :Phylicia Duncombe p. 22

Girl Boss: Ashley J. Darling p.45

Teatime with Miss A p 12

your soul

for your body

Securing the Bag: Tips on Saving Money p. 51

Beauty Picks p. 39

When Life Gives You Lemons :Navigating Breakups p.18

The Ultimate Black Bean Burger p. 30

Be the light.

Matthew 5:16Â

8 | Jan/Feb 2019

9 | Jan/Feb 2019

B e c o m i n g

M a g a z i n e

I s s u e

2

brand ambassadors

Our brand ambassadors are representing the magazine all around the world. For more information on how to become a brand ambassador, and the perks of being a brand ambassador email us at pearlsempowerment@gmail.com

11 | Jan/Feb 2019

teatime WITH

MISS

A

M I S S

A ,

I've spoken to many millennial women who are either fed up with dating or don't want to get married AT ALL . I am so confused! I thought it would actually be the opposite. I can't imagine women not wanting to get married one day. Miss A , what is your opinion on this? Why are millennial women so fed up with dating? Why are so many millennial women choosing not to marry?

Signed, Is there something I don't know?

Okay let me start off by firstly saying that I'm not sure that there are stats to prove that millennial women are choosing not to marry;

"Relationships are HARD work"

HOWEVER within my circle alone I know

Second, millennial women are bosses! Simply

about 2 women who are sure that (1) they

put. They are doing it all and holding their own.

don't want kids and (2) they don't want

Record shows that they stand among some of

marriage.

the most game-changing and progressive women since...ever!

Here's what I think....So many women are just fed up with investing everything in a relationship to have it just not work.

Relationship are HARD work- I don't care what

"... millennial women are bosses! "

anyone says, and it requires effort and

With that comes a fire that's fierce , a fight that's

investment! Doing that over and over again

strong and a patience that is very slim for

with no return can be exhausting for anyone.

anything less than what they feel they

How would you feel if you keep investing your

deserve. In other words, the man has to be

hard earned money into businesses only to

progressing with them or in most cases it's a

have them flop one after the other? Exactly!

simple "hit the road bruh".

Now, I don't say this to imply that I disagree with

It's all about the condition of your heart. The

marriage or dating. I support it 100%.It is biblical

posture of your heart is most important. If you

just as singleness is biblical. And I don't say this

choose to remain single, fine. If you choose

to degrade men either, because there are some

to date and marry, fine. However, your

awesooome men out there. I'm simply giving

reasons for both should never be selfish.

my opinion based upon what I have gathered from either observation, or experience.

For those that choose to marry, your reasons for marriage shouldn't be just for security, showboating, sex or ultimately your own

" The most important thing is to know 100% that it is God's will for you life"

selfish gain. The foundation of your marriage

I believe that marriage is beautiful and the

or dating relationship shouldn't be to hastag

dating process is beautiful; however, it should

#relationshipgoals #baecation #powercouple

be something that you really want and that

#lookatus #MCE or #myking.

you KNOW you are ready for. As for the

"...a patience that is very slim for anything less than what they feel they deserve" And similarly, for those that choose to remain single, your reasons for remaining single

women that choose not to marry, I respect their decision. There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing singleness.

" As for the women that choose not to marry, I respect their decision. "

shouldn't be something like "There's no man good enough for me", "He has to have 6

I don't have all the reasons as to why some

figures" , "I need to keep my money to myself"

millennial women are choosing not to marry,

or "I gotta build MY empire". There's nothing

but to all of my readers...Whether you choose

wrong with having standards and goals , but

to date and marry or to remain single , the most

maybe its a good idea to visit earth once in a

important thing is to know 100% that it is God's

while (I say this because I love you-lol so don't

will for your life. It has to be His will above all. If

send me hate mail or angry rants).

the reasons you choose to marry or remain single are completely selfish, I urge you to

" There are some good men out there. "

check in with Him. Note the capital H.

Dear Miss A is written anonymously by someone that we love and trust at the magazine. Submit any questions that you may have for Miss A, and maybe yours will be answered in the next issue. To submit a question, simply email it to pearlsempowerment@gmail.com. All submissions will be left anonymous.

16 | Jan/Feb 2019

17 | Jan/Feb 2019

"Take a deep breath...You are alive, You are loved."

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS. Navigating Break-ups

by Ashrika Sookoo

I’ll tell you about my story. Only 2 chapters though because that’s all I needed to understand the power I possessed, and I pray that the same is true for you. My first heartbreak, was at the hands of an older medical student. He was brilliant, handsome and ambitious (a deadly trio). I was enticed by the idea of he and I building an empire together and I was blinded by love (or maybe it was his good looks?). Nevertheless, the relationship was full of promise-his promise for potential and sacrificial love. I quickly learned however, that his words never matched his actions. Did I mention that this was a long distance relationship? He studied on another island, while I was back home in Trinidad.

Needless to say, my last trip to visit him was rather eventful. What was supposed to be a sweet dream turned into a nightmare! To make a long story short, the girl he was cheating with approached me, and the rest was history. The floor fell from underneath me. It was official, I had lost myself.

My second and most recent heartbreak was at the hands of another medical student (I guess I didn't learn my lesson -_-)AND this guy is in the same year as me. Simply put, not only are we at the same school and same campus, he is in all of my classes! However, this relationship was different. THIS relationship was what I REALLY dreamed of. He and I made an amazing team; we supported each other through the hard times and we matched each other on every level. I believed that he was the one- the love of my life. There was nothing lacking in our seemingly perfect relationship.

Of course there were things we needed to learn and unlearn but we were growing and building!

Finally, a life full of love. Even though I had prayed about it, like I always do and despite the fact that I convinced myself that God designed him for me, something happened six months into the relationship. One random day, nearing midterms, he ran into his ex-girlfriend of NINE years, and in his words, he "did not know how to feel". He came to me with the utmost sincerity (something I will always appreciate) knowing that his feelings were torn. He decided that it was best to end our relationship.

"Why me?" is the question we often ask ourselves throughout the breakup process. I always found myself asking, "Why now?" "Why weeks before my final exams?" or "Why now, when we were just starting to build a life together?"

The thing is, heartbreaks are tough! People easily say "You will get through, you always do.", but I've learned that the strongest of women truly thrive in pain- we’re forged from the ashes like a phoenix and we’re built on the steel cut strength of other women. The countless days that we have to force ourselves to get out of bed?

The countless times we must look human or act like our entire world didn’t collapse overnight? The strength we muster to make it through 1 out of 60 lectures (for us students)? In my own life, the days where it seemed like the grades that I was accustomed to seeing were distant memories? What about the memories on replay, the stabbing pain of reliving the last conversations or even worst, those late-night messages that are left on blue tick? The painful moments add up, and mold us into someone powerful.

Self-love isn’t putting on a face, but it is crying when you need to. It is knowing when things are not okay in a relationship, and not always blaming yourself. Self-love is getting up and making waffles in your PJs, taking a walk outside and feeling the morning sun on your skin.

These pains I’ve experienced were both very different but both offered opportunities for growth.

As for overcoming, I realize a combination of things helped me to move on and to not just survive but thrive.

1. Constant prayer and trusting God's plan.

2. A strong support system.

3. A deep love and appreciation for myself.

4. Investing in myself-investing in my happiness, my kindness and nurturing my soul.

As women we waste so much time on guys. Most of them don’t even know what they want. It is time to focus on you. Ask yourself, what more can I do to make me better? Invest in your goals, your dreams, you are a queen that can build your own empire.

Healing and growth are important. Invest in you, and the right person would follow at the right place and the right time. My family is not the ideal family. I pay my own rent by means of scholarships, I cook, clean and take care of myself (Believe me breakups are not the only pains I’ve experienced).

But like my breakups, when life gave me lemons, I put them to good use. I've unlocked loads of patience and love in the midst of it all.

My beautiful readers, I don’t know what pain you’re experiencing right now. I understand that the battles go way beyond breakups; some of you may have issues with families and friends.

Whatever the issue may be, I want to remind you that the tough times don’t last.

We must always hold onto the hope that our "happily ever after" is still being written.

I want to remind you that women like us are born warriors, we’ve been badgered, battered and bruised. We’ve known what it’s like to lose ourselves in the “could’ve been” or “should’ve been” . If you're in the middle of a trial, It may feel like today is the hardest day you’d ever have to live through. However, what is both beautiful and true is that but you WILL live. A year or more from now, you will not be the same person. If you continue to fight, you will bloom through the pain.

There is hope that eventually pain will subside and joy will take its place. When life gives you lemons, keep going- you've got this.

21 | Jan/Feb 2019

B y

P e a r l s

E m p o w e r m e n t

E s t .

2 0 0 9

l p

p

phylicia

duncombe

woman on the rise.

"We had the amazing opportunity to interview this gem. We learned about her recent move to Miami, her journey to selflove, her struggle building a name as a young photographer and so much more!

With over 23 thousand (Yes!Thousand) followers admiring her photography work on Instagram, and her busy travel schedule, we were grateful for the opportunity to chat with her."

orn and raised in Freeport, Grand Bahama, 24-year-old Phylicia explained that it was her family and friends that pushed her into photography.

B

She always loved photography, but her strong support system encouraged her to pursue it with all she had. Six and a half years later, PD photography is a household name and the brand is explosive!

Her quality work speaks to her passion for what she does and her commitment to excellence. Phylicia is also an avid YouTuber. Her YouTube page, The Real Phylicia, is where she motivates and inspires people to not just have dreamsbut to make them a reality. We sat down and literally binged watched her videosand can we add that we were not

disappointed? Her wisdom supersedes her years, and her passion is contagious!

Although she now has a healthy sense of self, Phylicia shared with us her vigorous battle to self love. She expressed that this season of her life has been the most “self-loving” season that she’s ever had in all of her twentyfour years of living!

After learning to love herself, she explains that she decided to entirely embrace who she is, her flaws and all.

At one point in her life, she would look in the mirror and didn’t like who she saw. Now, she admits that she literally smiles every time she passes a mirror, because she is so proud of the person that she sees looking back at her- the woman that she's become.

...she literally smiles every time she passes a mirror because she is so proud of the person that she sees looking back at herthe woman that she’s become.

This woman on the rise expressed that she is in the process of altering her current daily routine. For most of us, it is a daily struggle to really put the 24 hours we are given each day to good use. In 2019, many of us (myself included) have resolved to better manage our 24 hours in hopes of maximizing our potential and achieving our goals.

When your schedule is filled with client meetings, working on your craft, getting your relationship with God solid and balancing family life, it can become very difficult to find balance.

One of Phylicia’s goals for 2019 is to wake up every morning at 6AM to meditate, eat, exercise, and then start her work.

This would give her more time to properly start her day. The goal is to begin each day in the right frame of mind.

She strives to have a healthy mind, a healthy body and a healthy spirit.

Phylicia is a firm believer in the concept of a "having a satisfied life over a successful life". She believes that so many people work hard to achieve tangible things like money and fail to invest in the most important (and often intangible) things like family, peace of mind or a relationship with God. She believes that money and other assets may represent success, but peace of mind, strong family bonds and love all contribute to true satisfaction.

Going through the interview, we reflected on how we learned that our own fear and insecurity hindered us from achieving some of our goals for 2018. Likewise, Phylicia shared that every challenge she's ever faced in her business has always been centered around her and her own weaknesses.

She went on to share with us that at the start of her business, she had little to no confidence! Because of this, she took failure extremely hard and was often easily discouraged.

To not fall into this trap, her honest advice to women seeking to start a business is to pray for direction. She also urges them to be confident in who they are, be confident in what they have to offer and to find a good mentor. Similarly, to struggling entrepreneurs Phylicia says "surrender your businesses to God." She went on to explain that she found that when things are falling apart beyond our control, it is best to just let God do His thing while we rest assured knowing that He is making a way. She also encourages struggling entrepreneurs to watch or read stories about successful business owners.

She believes that it helps to learn about how other people whose businesses were once in the valley, are now soaring high. She believes that it helps because for some people seeing is believing.

We wanted to know more about her move to beautiful Miami. She expressed that although the move was successful, living abroad can be very lonesome and challenging. However, she is proud to have adapted quickly and to have already started making new clients in the Miami market. She is loving Miami and is excited for what unfolds in this new chapter of her life.

"Every challenge that I have ever faced in my business has always been centered around me and my weaknesses."

"As I think about my future, I think about business expansion for PD Photography and audience expansion for The Real Phylicia."

While she usually hosts projects every year, in 2018 she decided to put all projects on hold so that she could focus on her move to Miami. However, she assured us that she definitely has an amazing project for 2019 and we are super excited!

2019 is not the only thing on this entrepreneur's mind. Phylicia has a clear vision of what her future should look like.

"As I think about my future, I think about business expansion for PD Photography and audience expansion for The Real Phylicia. I also see me doing a lot of philanthropic work in my community as giving back to my roots is a lifetime promise that I made to myself."

Phylicia also talked more about the future of her YouTube page, "While I do enjoy making video content, I don’t want the brand to be confined to just YouTube. I would like for it to one day be integrated over different mediums such as television shows, podcasts, radio, conventions etc. To me, the more ways to reach people, the better."

It is her hope to start another source of income and also to establish an organization or mentor program to work with people on a more personal level. Connect with Phylicia on Instagram, her YouTube channel, or visit www.phyliciaduncombe.com.

Black Bean Burger

Try this as a substitute to your basic meat burger. This beauty is packed with protein and is so delicious!

Ingredients

1/2 medium yellow onion 1 tablespoon chopped garlic 2 cans black beans, rinsed and drained 2 teaspoons basil (optional) 2 eggs 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes 1/2 cup bread crumbs Salt and fresh ground black pepper Burger bun of choice

Instructions

Chop onion and garlic finely. Mix all ingredients together in a large mixing bowl. Season with salt and pepper, to taste.

Allow mixture to set in fridge for 30 mins- 1 hour.

Divide mixture to form 4 patties.

Heat oil in pan over medium heat.

Cook patties for about 3-5 minutes per side.

Assemble burgers using veggies and condiments of choice.

WANDERLUST Our new travel column loading...

31 | Jan/Feb 2019

DoItFor TheGram.

by Lashanté Stubbs

I

f you know me well I am pretty social. At one point though it was an obsession. I loved Instagram, Snapchat and everything in between. Everything I read, ate and bought was posted on social media! Every time I hopped on an airplane there had to be that essential airplane window photo. I lived just “for the gram”. I know people say it all the time, but I’d literally plan my days around what would be the better post for my social media accounts. And yes, that meant spending LOTS of money on things I didn’t need all in the name of glorifying my social media presence. I had it bad.

Everything I read, ate and bought was posted on social media!

But no matter how many followers I got, no matter how many people clicked like,I never felt satisfied. It’s like being extremely thirsty but not matter how much water you drink your thirst not being quenched. Social media began to physically make me sick. I would be depressed for months on end because I just felt empty and nothing was satisfying these desires. If that wasn’t enough, I would scroll for hours online looking at the travel exploits of others, their clothing, their families, their assets and it was like no matter how much I did it was NEVER enough.I felt hopeless and useless.

Social media began to control my mood. I would be having the best day and the minute I started scrolling, it was like with each picture, points got taken away from my "gratefulness meter". If I logged on at 100% , I’d more than likely leave with 15% or sometimes zero gratefulness. I often left

dissatisfied and scorning the point I was at in life. You might not be as extreme as me, but ask yourself how many times have you allowed comparison to dictate your life. For example, a friend of yours just started a new and promising business. Instead of you being happy for her, you immediately start to feel “less than” or you immediately begin to tear her down in your mind saying “she’s not consistent, that business won't last”...Or a friend is telling you some good news and you literally have to force a smile or laugh just to cover your envy, thinking "Why her?

Why not me?” . You immediately begin to compare, “Yea, she has that but I have this.” Sis, let me be the first to tell you that that is not healthy.

I just felt empty and nothing was satisfying these desires.

Another example to drive the point home: you're scrolling on Facebook and come across a woman who is better dressed or has a better job than you. Immediately, you can’t help but feel insecure or you can’t help but compare “Why'd she choose to wear that or she think she's better than people” Like really sis? You know the outfit is fly and you know that she is the sweetest person ever.

The issue is that comparison controls us.

It more than often makes us into a extremely prideful person or an insecure person. In both cases we are not our best selves, and we are not living in a manner that is pleasing to God.

My struggle with comparison has been hard and brutal. I would delete social media apps only to relapse days later. I would create rules about how much time I should spend online, only to have that fall through.

It was like self control went out the window when it came to this addiction. And the longer I took to break away, the more comparison became a part of who I naturally was. I was super critical- nothing was good enough for me. On one hand I compared and made myself feel inferior, and on the other I would compare to make myself feel superior. I was a mess, I simply couldn't admit it.

I compared and made myself feel inferior, and then would compare to feel superior.

The thing with us as women is that we often don’t like to call things what they are. As human beings in general, we like to make excuses for our behavior. So instead of calling a lion, a lion we call it a big cat knowing good and well that it's a lion.

Instead of calling jealousy, jealousy we play it off or downplay the effect it actually has on us. So much of us can’t stand other women. However, if we just stop and do a deep introspection we’d come to understand that maybe we might be jealous of sis? Or maybe we don’t like that sis makes us feel basic and it makes us uncomfortable? We can't stand someone else being "better".

Instead of calling jealousy ,jealousy we play off the effect that it has on us.

The first step for me was actually admittance. I had to admit that I had a serious problem and that I needed to be serious about becoming better. After swallowing that hard truth pill, I had to make the adjustments. I prayed and then I deleted all of my social media apps. The goal was to "fast" from social media for a month. Of course I had trusted people around me this time that committed to holding me accountable.

I didn't even go on my Facebook news feed. 1 month turned into 2 and 2 into 3. Fast forward to an entire later, and I have NEVER been happier. I don’t even miss it. The time I spent away from social media I spent learning to be grateful and appreciative of who I am and what I have to offer this world. I ate dinners in some of the top restaurants and no one knew except those present. I've traveled to some of the most beautiful places in the world and only close family knew. I’ve done some of the most exhilarating things and no one knew. I’ve laughed, cried, made new friends and no one knew! And the sweeter part is that I didn’t bother to see if anyone else was doing the same thing. I didn’t compare my life experiences to others' to see how they measured up.

I've traveled to some of the most beautiful places in the world and no one knew...

I simply lived and enjoyed the moment.

Doing that for a year has changed my perspective on so many things! I no longer do things for people, but I do them for me. I do them to create my own memories and to enjoy all that life has to offer. I love to see other women succeed, I love to see other women becoming their best selves. I love to see people enjoying life and loving and growing! I LOVE it. I no longer feel the need to compare myself to other women because I know with all my heart that the same God who is writing their stories is writing mine. He loves me. He is for me. He has my best interest at heart.

I love to see people enjoying life and loving and growing!

How much happier would you be if comparison wasn’t controlling your narrative? How much healthier would your heart be? So many women are bound by comparison! They can’t even support other women genuinely because they are so afraid that they will be left behind while other women "make moves". They are so afraid that someone else's light will dim theirs. That is so not true. I challenge you to work through those issues. It’s time to start living a comparison-free life.

T

he Purity Strategy is a selfhelp guide for people who are on a journey to wholeness and for those who desire to develop better habits.

Purity is something that is constantly being talked about.

However, we often only hear about why we need to live a life of purity and how important it is. What is almost always left out is the “how to”. Anadescha's life and habits pushed her to a place where she desired to to know how to live a life of purity. This included purity in every area of her life: mind, body and spirit.

The church today emphasizes purity of the body by abstaining from sex, but the oxymoron is that talking about sex is still a taboo topic in the church. The Purity strategy explores how to use logical, yet strategic methods to ultimately overcome the mind battles and fight against entertaining those fleshly desires.

In the purity strategy, Anadescha shares how she suffered from drowning in impurity, but also how she overcame and how she continues the fight to remain free.

This book gives you hope that a lifestyle of purity is possible .Her book will help you to use your mistakes, downfalls and struggles as stepping stones for a successful journey.

Launch Date: February 16th, 2019.

(Purchases can be made on Amazon & Kindle)

Want to be a part of the magazine?

Email us today!

JOIN

team "THE ZINE"

pearlsempowerment@gmail.com

38 | Jan/Feb 2019

bea

uty.

1 SIMPLE KIND TO SKIN DEEP CLEANSING FACE MASK We used this for about 3 months and found it to be an amazing drug store find. Leaves your face feeling fresh and clean.

Our favorite part is knowing that it is packed with numerous skin-loving ingredients.

2 E.L.F. TOTAL FACEBRUSH The brush works wonders. Feels so good on your skin and can be used for much more than loose powder. The perfect finishing touch to any beauty look.

3 SACHA COSMETICS INTENSE MATTE LIP VELVET-REV IT UP! A gorgeous matted finish and your lips don't feel dry! Its literally the best of both worlds. This deep rich purple is a must have for anything from a date, to a night out with the girls!

4 SALLY HANSEN HARD AS NAILS 160-HARD-CORE PARTY A total life saver!Don't have money for a gel manicure or acrylics? No worries!

The color is soft, but sophisticated. and the shine is amazing even without a top coat!

5

VANITY PLANET SPIN BRUSH Vanity Planet's gift to our face. Acne be gone, dirt be gone, dark spots be gone! It gives that deep down clean and leaves skin feeling refreshed.

Comes with a body brush and a foot stone! This brush is our favorite on this list!

6 ISAAC MIZRAHI LOVES REVLON NAIL FILE The cutest thing ever!So pretty you may not even want to use. Use it to upgrade your home manicure kits!

7

MAYBELLINE MATTE+ PORELESS FITME! FOUNDATION There's literally one for every shade. Feels light on the skin and gives makeup a smooth finished look!

p e a r l s e m p o w e r m e n t @ g m a i l . c o m

PAPERS.RESUMES. BOOKS.WORSHOPS AND EVERYTHING INÂ BETWEEN WWW.CKSTUBBS.COM

#Persistent#Strong#

#GirlB

#Inspiration#Trendsetter#

Wise #Leader #Beautiful

BOSS #Graceful#Dedicated

A

Ashley Darling is a 27year-old mommy extraordinaire!

Not only is she the mother of 2 beautiful children, but she is also the owner of 2 successful businesses and wife to her husband Christopher. She is owning all that she is and embracing all that God has called her to be.

47 | Jan/Feb 2019

Although on the outside things

taught her the importance of

may seem to be “perfect”, Ashley

consistency and the importance

helps us to understand that it

of moving in faith. In 2017, Ashley

wasn’t always that way and that

released her first book,

God is the glue that keeps it all

“Beautifully Graced”. In her book,

together; He is the foundation of

she shared a lot about her battle

her life-business and family. She

with depression and insecurity

expressed that without God’s

while being a Christian wife and

grace she has no idea where she

mom. Her book is in our words

would be. We learned that 2018

“beautifully unfiltered” and it is

has been a year of transition for

exactly what women today

both her and her family. It has not

need.“Initially”, she explained, “I

been the easiest year, but it has

didn’t go into the process like

“Aha! I’m gonna write a book!” I

after giving birth to her son, that

“I needed to write about how

had no intention of writing one. I

she was expecting again. Ashley

depression overtook me and how

just started to write on little

shared how rough this was for

the grace of God saved me, yet

pieces of paper, that’s the only

her, “I kept thinking what would

again.”

thing I trusted with my feelings at

‘people’ think about my situation?

the time.” She explained that

How would I survive being a

We learned that shortly after the

every day she’d write down how

mother with “2 under 2”? I was

release of her book, so many

she felt, with her newborn baby

still so young, and here I am

women opened up to her about

laying right next to her.

getting ready to be a mother to a

going through depression and

second child.” Although it was

how they struggle every day to

It was during this time we learned

rough. She admits that it was a

keep it together. Ashley now

that depression had hit her when

paramount time in her life and

understands that she didn’t just

she found out four months

that she needed to experience it.

write for her, she wrote for them. .

48 | Jan/Feb 2019

As you can imagine being a mother of 2, a wife and a working woman is not easy! But she works to maintain balance in her everyday affairs. Ashley knows where her strength lies so she shared with us that even though her days are hectic, she waits until the house is still; when everyone is asleep to carry out her devotions. She writes, listens to music and watches YouTube videos of her favorite preachers Heather Lindsey and Sarah Jakes

49 | Jan/Feb 2019

Roberts. I guess now is a good time to add that Heather and Cornelius Lindsey are the publishers for Ashley’s book.

them. I have a responsibility to teach them about Jesus and to help develop their gifts.” How precious is that!? She admitted that it took her years to accept

Ashley literally blew our mind when we asked her about motherhood. This powerhouse of a women explained : “I’m intentional about spending time with my children. Being their mother is so much more than making sure they are all dressed up. I pray for them and I fast for

and love her flaws- to love the woman that she is today. She explained that social media and the fact that we have so much access to people’s photos and lives doesn’t make it any easier.

Ashley explained that although social media has its pros, there are also cons.

“It is so easy to compare your life

purposefully created by the

with Ashley on social media and

or body with the girl who has

Creator of all things. Ashley is

check out her book Beautifully

hundreds of likes!” She went on to

currently working on the

graced on amazon via hard copy

say that comparison breeds envy

"Beautifully Graced" newsletter.

or kindle (for the e-readers like

and jealousy and even hatred and

The first edition is scheduled to

me)!

those things are not of God.

be released in February of 2019!

When asked about her plans for

To women struggling with

the future, she gracefully

comparison, Ashley advises that

responded “ My future is in the

they learn to appreciate that we

palm of God’s hands. I promised

were all created uniquely! We

never to rush or to put my agenda

were all created for a purpose

before His. It must always be His

and no one can do what you were

will and not mine, but I do hope to

created to do. She expresses that

release another book!”

there is beauty in that alone; knowing that you were

We totally love this girl! Connect

50 | Jan/Feb 2019

SECURE THE BAG

by Dava Bullard

Everyone wants more money. At the beginning of every year it is almost always the new year's resolution of someone to save or to make more money. The year 2015 was personally life changing in this regard as it was the beginning of my financial wisdom. I obtained my Bachelor of Business Administration – Accounting degree, and I started my first full time job at Ernst & Young Bahamas at a very young age.

So, in hopes of helping you improve your financial condition, I would first advise you to view yourself as a business. In this, you have assets, liabilities, net worth, revenue, expenses and net income. For simplicity purposes, your assets are what you own, your liabilities are what you owe, and your net worth is the difference between the two.

Over the past four years, I have managed money practically, practiced budgeting and faced the difficulty of saving and investing. I have applied the virtues of frugality, understood the essence of sacrifice, deciphered wants from needs and committed to perseverance. I’m still learning and implementing strategies such as saving in advance for special occasions, controlling reactive spending habits, saving for rainy days, and understanding that no matter how small the amount that I save a month, with consistency itadds-up.

Some examples of assets, which you may own and already know about are cash (savings), receivables (money that your friends & family owe you), short term investments, long term investments, furniture, cars and houses. Shortterm liabilities are those debts or obligations that are due within one year, for example, loans, mortgages, money you owe others etc.

Putting all of that onto paper would give you balance sheet items. Breaking it all down into the following equation:

Your Personal Assets – Your Personal Liabilities = Your Personal Net Worth Your Revenue (Income) – Your Expenses = Your Net Income As you can tell, to have a healthy net worth, you should be able to comfortably meet your obligations and expenses. However, most of us may be barely meeting our liabilities and expenses and that’s quite alright. We are all at different stages in life. While there are other factors which could improve your net worth e.g. seeking out better job opportunities, I will help you to utilize what you currently have by providing you with practical information on how to save regularly, budget feasibly, think frugally and/or invest wisely. In this issue of the magazine we will cover savings. The other topics will be covered in future issues of the magazine.

Saving can be a challenge for most of us, but once done as a routine, saving WILL become a habit. A few reasons to save include emergencies, tertiary education goals, vacation, Christmas gifts, future

investment purposes and for financial cushion and stability. Basically, to have a healthy personal net worth!

It's important to know that “You don’t need to make sacrifices to save. Simply look at your spending and see where you can ‘trim some fat’ and it won’t bother you”. You may choose to bring lunch to work and save $10-$15 and yet still be able to purchase your daily Starbucks coffee. Or you can choose to purchase Starbucks coffee 2 days out of the week and bring lunch to work to save a bit more. These are just examples of knowing where and what you can forego to save a little daily. Also, if you are one who received bonuses from your employer, consider saving 75% or 100% of that money instead of frivolously spending it all on the purchase of an item or service you were previously doing quite fine without, invest in yourself and your future.

To assist in the discipline and success of saving, have separate saving accounts. A more reliable method to avoid temptation, is to open an account in a different bank or saving institution e.g. credit unions or commercial banks. Be sure to do your due diligence as it relates to your options and keep in mind that you would want to search for the most competitive interest rates to gain a return on your savings.

“Spend the money you have, not the money that you wish you had” (Skinner, 2016). We may not always be where we would like to, there may be bumps in the road, you may have to take pauses to learn a lesson or two but that is never an excuse to give up!

Helpful Tips: 1. Be precise about your reason for saving, list them out and commit.

2. Conserve your electricity by turning of lights you do not need on and unplugging any devices which are not in use.

3. Review your cable options and remove any unnecessary premium channels to save a bit of money.

4. For some, it is more economical to buy in bulk.

For others it is easier to gauge how much is really being spent by purchasing groceries bi-weekly.

Regardless, ensure that you are spending your budgeted amount for groceries.

5. Try out a cheaper cellular phone plan.

6. Truly think hard and long about whether our hair or nails must be done twice a week.

7. Gauge credit/debit card transactions by turning on the transaction notifications option in your online banking account, if available. This option also assists you for security purposes to ensure that no unauthorized purchases have been made.

8. Gauge your credit card transactions by charging the amount you are sure you can pay off monthly.

9. Cook and bring lunch to work instead of purchasing lunch daily.

Savings Challenge: o For 30 days each day take $5-$10 cash and save in your drawer, a jar etc. o Do not touch it until the 30th day o On the 30th day, place the funds into your separate savings account to earn more interest income or make a wise expenditure, if necessary

55 | Jan/Feb 2019

our reading list

JAN/FEB 2019

Understanding The Purpose And Power Of Prayer By: Dr. Myles Munroe "Dr. Myles Munroe will ignite and transform the way you pray. Be prepared to enter into a new dimension of faith, a deeper revelation of God's love, and a renewed understanding that your prayers can truly move the hand of God."

Books worth reading this month!Â

Beautifully Graced: When Grace Takes Over the Impossible By: Ashley Darling "A beautiful narrative about how God's grace is able to transform our lives. A story of the author's battle with depression and the illusion of perfection."

The Mingling of Souls By: Matt Chandler

"Matt Chandler helps navigate issues for both singles and marrieds by revealing the process Solomon himself followed: Attraction, Courtship, Marriage ... even Arguing.."

Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love & Redemption: Katie Davis Majors "'The New York Times bestselling account of a courageous eighteen-year-old from Nashville who gave up every comfort and convenience to become the adoptive mother to thirteen girls in Uganda."

The Power of Positive Thinking By: Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

"The Power of Positive Thinking has helped men and women around the world to achieve fulfillment in their lives through Dr. Norman Peale’s powerful message of faith and inspiration."

Conquer the year 6 Tips for a More Fruitful Year

1

Download a New Podcast

Listening to a good podcast while getting ready in the morning, or while driving in the car is a good way to start the day. Download a podcast on health, spiritual growth/maturity or education. Our podcast of choice is the Blessed and Bossed Up Podcast. This podcast is for entrepreneurs but is also a go-to for any girl boss.

2

Drink More Tea

Tea is loaded with antioxidants that help to fight cancer and slows down the aging process. Teas are also rich in

polyphenols (I know, a mouth full right?) . However, polyphenols have been shown to lower both blood pressure and cholesterol.

Whether it's iced or hot, we plan to amp up our tea intake!

3

Try Something New

Take a class, join a book club, go on a hike, make a new friend...

Whatever you decide to do, let it be something new! Put yourself out there and experience new and exciting things. Some other suggestions: try ordering an outfit out of your comfort zone, try changing your hair color or maybe try out a new restaurant in your city.

4

Do Morning Devotions

It's not a must that you do your devotions in the morning, but it helps to set the pace for the day. After doing your devotions in the morning, you'd find that you are more at peace, more organized and more prepared to face the day. We recommend the "Thirsty Thirty" technique by Transformation Church. 10 mins of worship, 10 mins of bible reading and 10 mins of prayer.

(10 mins +10 mins +10 mins =30 mins)

5

Save Money

Everyone talks about saving more, why not actually do it? Give yourself a realistic financial goal, and work towards achieving that goal. For you, realistic might be saving $500 this year, for someone else it may be $20,000. Whatever the amount may be, practice saving. In December 2019 , I am sure that you wont regret it. Take it a step further and invest what you save at the end of the year.

6

Forgive

In the words of Abraham Lincoln, move forward "with malice toward none". We learned that forgiveness is for the other person, but it's more importantly for you. When you forgive, you

are able to move forward entirely without hindrance. Don't allow things from the past to hold you back. Forgive and more forward.

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