ALL OUT OF ORDER Vol1/Iss 3 by Pecan Tree Publishing

A Pecan Tree Publishing Vol. 1 Issue Fall 2012/Winter 2013

When the boss is

OUT OF ORDER

Your clutter could be affecting your life

ADHD/ODD/RAD small initials big challenges for the family

All OUT OF ORDER and Feeling Kinda Lost

Success Mountain Empowerment Institute Entrepreneurs, Mentors, Professionals, Organizations, Women, Economics and Resources “We are positioned to strategically motivate, empower and inspire personal success “

Success Mountain Empowerment Institute (SMEI) provides empowering community-based workshops and seminars, that connects and enhance the lives of those who have the inner desire to reach their potential. SMEI goal is to promote, cultivate and strengthen individuals to advance educationally, personally and professionally within the scope of his/her gifts and talents. SMEI is committed to the community, while also serving individuals and organizations nationally and globally. Our purpose is two-fold: 1. We believe that despite the odds- you can make a difference and that each of us was born with purpose regardless of age. 2. We believe life’s adversities should not halt you but are foundational elements that will thrust you forward; they are building blocks for you to mount upon and climb towards your destiny.

Rev. Yvonne Strachan Ordained Minister, Playwright, Producer, Poet , Pastoral Life Coach

Deborah Jones-Allen, MBA, PhD, Author, Empowerment Specialist , Training and Development , Social Entrepreneur & Pastoral Life Coach

Our Mission

SMEI’s mission is to promote individual responsibility by empowering people to grow and become emotionally and economically stable, inspire individual success and partner with today’s generation. SMEI’s driving force is to form a relationship and partner with commerce, environmental and technology institutes. To aid emerging leaders in developing a spirit of excellence in the process of his/her pursuit to purpose and success. We believe in you and regardless of your circumstances you have the power to choose. SMEI owners are open to the Spirit of God in order to empower and raise consciousness as a change-agent within our community to make a difference in the lives of others. At the same time awaken an individual’s talent to create opulence in the midst of a global recession through the evaluation of strengths, weaknesses personal commitment and sacrifice. Contact Us: Dr. Deborah Jones-Allen 305-343-4282 Rev. Yvonne Strachan 786-443-7406 Email: success.mountain@yahoo.com Success Mountain Empowerment Institute P.O. BOX 421789 Miami, FL 33242 2 OIKONOMIA

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OIKONOMIA MAGAZINE heeds the call to identify stewardship as purposed life strategy and management by pouring Biblical strategies, principals and understanding into major life areas including: time, health, family, finances and others. Each issue provides a holistic approach to strategic, purposed and determined successful living. Publisher E. Claudette Freeman Creative Director E. Chantaye Watson Editors-in-Chief Wayne Dean Advisory Board Elder Vernita C. Williams Rev. K. Saquile Lazenby Rev. Dameon Madison Everett Montgomery Contributing Writers Sheila Hawkins Elder Vernita Williams Pas. Sandra G. Stubbs Gian Cruz E. Claudette Freeman Crystal Phipps Kimberly Larkins Robinson Rev. K. Saquile Lazenby Aloma George Tymira Mack Wayne Dean Phil Van Auken Oreme J. Bonnette Graphic Design Jenette Sityar Haykaz Khroyan OIKONOMIA MAGAZINE is published by Pecan Tree Publishing, www.pecantreemags. com, Hollywood, Fl 33020. Pecan Tree Publishing chose to present the publication in the online format to shatter the readership restrictions on some print publications. While there will be no subscription rate for the online edition, allowing free and continual access to issues; the publication may also be ordered in a print-on-demand basis for a nominal charge. For submission or editorial guidelines, as well as questions, comments or general feedback please email: oikonomiamag@pecantreepress.com. For advertising inquiries, please email: info@pecantreemags.com. Our office hours are Monday â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Friday, 10a-2p. For inquiries not listed here, please call 786.763.1291. OIKONOMIAâ&#x20AC;&#x192;5

n every issue of Oikonomia we strive to provide you with information that will feed your mind, body, and soul. Well this month’s issue is no different; as we explore - Disorder. Although there are many types of disorders that are easy to identify: mental and some physical disorders; there are many more that are not so easy to identify. How about your finances? If not managed properly, they can easily be in a state of disorder. If you don’t eat properly your physical being can suffer from all types of disorders, including: diabetes, heart disease, and hypertension. Another very important area that can be affected by disorder is our spiritual lives. What happens when your prayer life is not in order? In addition, this issue we are covering the difference between ADD/ADHD, ODD, and RAD. These are some of the issues that will be discussed in an effort to help you get a better understanding of what is really going on in your life; and in the lives of the people you love. It is my sincere prayer that you find knowledge, comfort, and vital information that will help you in your life’s journey as you either deal with your personal disorders or the disorders of a loved one. While working with the content for this issue I was forced to look at some of the disorders in my life, and in doing so I have decided to make some changes in the way I pursue this life journey. I have come to the realization that I will always have some form of disorder in my life; however with information that I have found in these pages of Oikonomia, I now have the ability to identify, confront and in some instances control some of the areas. I have also realized an even greater need for God as I have come to the conclusion that I can only survive the chaos and madness of this world if I praise Him daily for the things I may have taken for granted, and the things that I have no control over. I encourage you to not only read the articles but to also use the work sheets and goal assessment pages that follow each section. Once again it is our goal at Oikonomia to help minister to the total person and with your participation I believe we will be successful. Wayne Dean Editor-in-Chief

6 OIKONOMIA

Contents A Pecan Tree Publishing Vol. 1 Issue, Summer/Fall 2013

So, Here is My Question…

The Prodigal Son: At Some Point You Must Go Home Again Wayne Dean

Bring Order to Your Prayer Life Rev. K. Saquile Lazenby

You Are Your Clutter By Sheila Hawkins

ADHD, ODD and RAD – What you Need to Know About How they Affect the Family Giancarlo Cruz

Every Day with a Plan and a Purpose Rev. K. Saquile Lazenby

The Comfortable Church or the Great Commission Church? Phil Van Auken

Is Your Church Ready?

Your Slimmed Down Healthy Temple is 28 Waiting on You to Give it to God Tymira Mack and E. Claudette Freeman

Getting your Finances in Order: 3 Facts about Money from the Bible By Ozeme J Bonnette

Personal Development – Taking the Limits Off Sandra G. Stubbs

Peace in the Midst of a Storm Wayne Dean

Handle Your Approach to Leadership Decently and In Order Elder Vernita C. Williams

A Spiritual Getaway to Recharge, Renew and Become Whole Again

69 72

When the Boss is Confused and Out of Order, the Workplace May Follow Giancarlo Cruz

Dive into These Pages and Pull Out Some Power Bishop T. D. Jakes Let Us Worship with Our Creative Gifts

When Confusion Reigns in the Home, How Does it Affect the Family? Kimberly Larkins Robinson

Bring Clarity to your Health Challenges 26 by Knowing your Family’s Health History Aloma George

OIKONOMIA 7

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SPIRIT Lord we are living in uncertain times and times of great sacrifice in order to live a righteous life. Would you tell of a time when great sacrifice was required and how it turned out for the good of your people? God: There are times when I need to see how committed you are going to be. You see I have great plans for you however, I have to make sure you are going to be obedient to my commands. I require commitment no matter what the perceived cost or how painful it may be. So I submit unto you the story of Abraham the father of all nations; read his story in Genesis 22:1-19. I think you will have a better understanding of how I prepare before I bless.

OIKONOMIAâ&#x20AC;&#x192;9

SO, HERE IS MY QUESTION… Stewardship is a HUGE SUBJECT in the Kingdom of God. We know that you have a whole library of questions relating to the management of everything from finances to your relationship with Christ. We are here to provide you with some help along the way. If you would like your stewardship questions answered, email them to: OIKONOMIA@ PECANTREEMAGS.COM; please put: SO HERE IS MY QUESTION in the subject line. You may also fax your question to: 877.842.3263.

I am the mother of two adult children in their college years, after being a widow for a number of years, I am considering re-marrying. How can I help them be more comfortable with this new phase in our lives? J. Tucker, Raleigh, North Carolina Ms. Tucker, may I be honest with you? Very few adult children enjoy the thought of their mother re-marrying, especially if the person is not their father. Therefore, this has the potential to be a delicate issue, if you have failed or avoided communicating your concerns of being lonely or in need of companionship over the recent years. It sounds like you have put your life on hold because of your children. In either case, they may ask you questions such as: how long you have known and/or dated the individual you are considering spending your life with (God’s will)? Are you equally yoked? Meaning that you have all things in common and this is not just a romantic interlude. In this case you have to be the one who is comfortable. On the other hand, if you have a relationship with your children then an open dialogue with them is the best method to help them understand what is happening in your new phase of life. The Bible does 10 OIKONOMIA

say that if the husband dies, you are free to become the wife of another man. (Romans 7: 2) Marriage is a serious undertaking, both spiritually and physically. If you are the type of mother, that interfere in your children’s personal lives, then you can be perceived as a busy-body to them and the news of you re-marrying may be a welcome delight. Considering that generations are changing, our children may not have the courage to tell us to “get a life.” May I suggest that you feel your children out and break the ice about your thoughts of “moving on with your life” in the absence of their father. Then if possible invite them out to a public place for dinner (with him of course), doing so helps to keep everyone’s emotions in check. At the same time, you will be able to discern how the children react to his presence with you. The final decision will be yours. However, consider the following and prayerfully ask God to give you the wisdom and courage to embrace this life altering decision of marriage. Marriage is a holy covenant and communion and you will want to be sure, that you are ready to commit to a relationship after being a widow for a number of years. Which means, that you have to ponder these thoughts: Are you ready to allow someone in your personal space?

Whose place are you living in? And are you willing to openly discuss major financial matters? Dr. Deborah Jones Allen is Founder of Daughters of Siyyon, a Christian counseling firm that connects and ministers to the spirit, mind and soul; while mentoring through the establishing of trusting relationships, accountability, and guidance. Their educational programs are Biblically-based and teach and promote healing and restoration whether it be it emotionally, physically, or spiritually. I have been trying to get into the hang of journaling for a number of years and it seems to be something I struggle with. I am told that it is a good way to deal with inner struggles, what is the point of journaling if you can’t get into it? Paula Beas, Boynton Beach, Fl Paula, you are thinking about it too hard. Many of us have a habit of desiring to do something with the perceptions of others weighing heavily on our mind. Because of this, we automatically approach a new idea, task, goal or objective with a subconscious set of defense mechanisms and objections. We go into a thing giving ourselves readily-available excuses to get out of whatever that thing is. Journaling is simply writing your thoughts. Give it no more consideration than that. I would suggest you do something to shatter your preconceived notions. First of all, give yourself permission to have a journal that will not look like anything you have ever seen - write your journal on torn brown paper bags if you want to – it’s your words, your style. Don’t think - “I have to write now;” instead just freely write. Give yourself permission not to form full sentences; don’t cross t’s if you do not want to, do not dot I’s if you do not want to. In fact, you may find you write a whole page with nothing but individual words; guess what – that is okay. That is what your spirit wanted to say to you in that moment and because your mind did not block it. In a moment of introspection you will find the words have a connection. Now follow the connection and just write what comes to mind, don’t think – write. I would also say give yourself permission to journal when you feel like it. I personally do not journal every day; but when I do – it is profoundly for me in that precise moment. I am sure you have heard that you should keep a gratitude journal, or a prayer journal, or a financial

journal to see the blessing of giving and receiving – the type of journal you keep is based on what your life calls for today. Your one journal may be a combination of all of those things – or it just may be a journal of all things possible through Paula. If you start with just one word, on one page and celebrate that one word on that one page, you will be encouraged to do it again. Within each issue of Oikonomia there are pages – journaling pages – that encourage you to write about what you’ve read and how it fits your life. If you are more comfortable and need a guide, start there. E. Claudette Freeman, the Publisher of Oikonomia Magazine, is also a literary coach and a Certified Life Coach Practitioner who uses literary principles to help clients arise, write and release. Visit her website at www. eclaudetteliterary.com. Should I tie my children’s allowance to chores? Karen Jones, Asheville, NC I shy away from tying my kids’ allowances to their chores because they should do things to help out around the house because they live there, not because they’re getting paid. Chores serve a different purpose, in my mind: They help kids develop a work ethic, and teach them to juggle a few different tasks and responsibilities at once. An allowance, on the other hand, is a way to teach them how to budget, save, and spend money wisely. Also, to be honest, I find that tying an allowance to chores doesn’t always work unless you have one of those children who is primarily motivated by money. You’d be surprised how often kids are willing to give up a few bucks so they don’t have to unload the dishwasher or clean their rooms. That’s why I tie chores to things my children seem more passionate about such as video games and television watching.

Jean Chatzky, has appeared on Oprah, The View, Live With Regis and Kelly and other programs. She has written for Parents, Seventeen, Cosmopolitan, was a staff writer for SmartMoney and a fact checker for Forbes. Chatzky is also the financial editor for NBC’s Today Show, a contributing editor for More Magazine, a columnist for the New York Daily News. Find more tips and a phenomenal savings and budgeting for kids by Chatzky at www.threejars.com. OIKONOMIA 11

Bring Order to Your Prayer Life Rev. K. Saquile Lazenby

n Thessalonians 5:16-18, we are instructed to “pray without ceasing” and in all things at all times we should be cognizant of our relationship to God. We cultivate our relationship with God through effective prayer and meditating on the word. Prayer provides us with spiritual food that we must be partake of daily. As we mature from children to adults, we learn that good personal hygiene is something that must be practiced daily. It is imperative that we take the same approach and consistency in our prayer life. When we pray without ceasing we cover ourselves with the armor of God. God’s armor is His peace, love, and protection in a world filled with strife, wars, homelessness, unemployment, hunger, etc. With an orderly and effective prayer life, we learn and become aware of all that God has for us. As we live

12 OIKONOMIA

in this world and not of this world, we begin to learn of God’s offerings. His offerings include: joy, success, abundance, love, and every good thing. When we are on the receiving end of God’s goodness, the world suddenly becomes a better place. In the face of the eviction notice, foreclosure, health scare, or car repossession, we begin to learn of a different kind of peace and grace that is everlasting. Thankfully, in the midst of any storm, we can pray away through them all. Through the practice of beginning our day with the daily reading of the word and prayer, we become immersed in the word and it becomes flesh. Mindful living helps us to pay more attention to the things we are consuming through what we see, hear, feel, and watch. We become more conscientious of the books/ magazines we read, to the television and programs we watch, and the music we listen to. We learn all that we consume should uplift our spirits and minds and inspire to know God in a more intimate way. We will become clear that the only thing that comes out in our words and actions is what goes. In Romans 12:2, we are reminded to “Don’t let the world squeeze you into its own mold, but let God remold your mind from within…” One of the most effective ways to be molded into whom God created you to be is through prayer and meditating of His word and ways and not on the world.

A few suggestions can support our desire to be mindful of our prayer life:

Daily 1. Begin each day with a word of thanksgiving. 2. Pray that God order your steps in His word and align your day with His will and not your own. 3. Post your favorite scriptures around your house and office. 4. Keep a spirit of hopefulness, peace, and favor. 5. Pay attention to your intentions which is always about communing with Spirit. 6. Conclude your day with prayer of forgiveness and thanksgiving.

Weekly 1. Make a list of people that you may have trespassed against throughout your week or whom you may feel trespassed against you. 2. Pray over that list for forgiveness for yourself and them. 3. Make a list of all of the good things that happened in your life that week. 4. Pray over that list giving thanks for your blessings and joys. Our day should begin with prayer and thanksgiving. This would help us to establish a loving foundation of peace and being centered to build our day upon. Our reading and meditating on the word will provide us with a reference on how we should conduct ourselves throughout the day. At the conclusion of our God-filled day, we should pray in and with gratitude for our lives and those of our loved ones and all of the blessings we received and gave throughout our day. Having an orderly and disciplined prayer life helps us to grow into the person God created us to be.

Rev. K. Saquile Lazenby is an ordained interfaith minister. In addition to her ministry Rev. Lazenby has more than a decade of experience in the financial services industry. As a financial planner, she holds a Life, Health, and Variable Annuity license as well her as FINRA Securities Licenses Series 6, 63, and 26. Currently through her company, F.L.L.S. (Financial Literacy, Life Skills), she teaches financial literacy to youth and adults throughout the East Bay, CA area. She facilitates classes and workshops on savings/investing, credit, homeownership, banking basics, and insurance. OIKONOMIA 13

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is just one of the many life-changing innovations that came from the mind of an African American. We must do all we can to support minority education today, so we don’t miss out on the next big idea tomorrow. To find out more about African American innovators and to support the United Negro College Fund, visit us at uncf.org or call 1-800-332-UNCF. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

OIKONOMIA 15

r A u CLUTTER o Y r u e o Y By Sheila Hawkins

our surroundings and belongings say a lot about you. They even tell stories about you. We’ve all heard the saying, ”You are what you eat.” The same is true about your environment. Your environment speaks volumes about you; tells the truth about you. If your space is cluttered, then you are your clutter. Look around your home or your office space and note what you see. Is your place a disaster, so full of paper and other things that you can’t see the surfaces or find anything? Your environment is directly connected to what’s going on with you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It’s your reflection. If your environment is cluttered, you have to look at what’s going on beneath the surface and address it to get rid of your clutter once and for all. On the surface, spaces get cluttered because things aren’t assigned a home; because people shop without a list or without thinking before they buy; can’t decide whether or not to keep something; keep things because they have a monetary or sentimental value 16 OIKONOMIA

attached to them. In my interaction with clients I have gone beneath the surface and found that those dealing with clutter have usually had something happen that started the process of clutter accumulating. Beneath the surface lies the truth about you and your clutter. As I mentioned, there are physical, emotional, mental and spiritual connections between you and your environment. The same is so when it comes to a cluttered environment. First, let’s address the physical connection. When we look beyond the physical clutter we can begin to see the connection to the physical body. So just how does clutter relate to the physical body? Often when you have clutter you’re also dealing with health concerns or excess body weight, which has you feel the same way the clutter does—drained, no balance, heavy and wanting to get out of your body. In a cluttered space there is no real life present, there is limited movement or it can be difficult to move about the space, there is no balance, and walking into

the space can make you feel uncomfortable or wanting to leave the space. For some, the clutter is a way of protecting themselves, just as excess body weight can be a form of protection. Getting to the root cause of the physical body issues is the key to being able to get rid of the clutter in your environment. Weight loss or addressing health concerns opens the door and motivates you to get rid of clutter permanently and decluttering an environment clears the way to weight loss or resolving health issues. Additionally, getting rid of the physical clutter can cause lifestyle changes. Now let’s look at the mental perspective. Clutter accumulates in physical spaces when mental clutter begins to accumulate. The mental clutter is the result of stress, related emotions and minor or major shifts or changes in life. When we’re cluttered mentally, we find it difficult to focus, we’re not clear, and can feel mentally weighed down and drained. Our thought patterns represent what the physical environment looks like. When you free yourself of the mental load; remove the blockage, you pave the way for clearing your space and become clear again mentally. When your mind is clear, your environment is clear. Likewise, when your environment is clear your mind is clear. Next, is the emotional connection to clutter. You may not think about this area of your life being cluttered, but how many times have you known people to walk around with unresolved emotions? What happens at the end of a relationship? Usually there are things that remain unfinished, unsaid, and plenty of emotion as well as the baggage to go along with it. At times it’s not a relationship that’s ended that leaves us cluttered emotionally, but the existing relationships— the vampires, draining relationships, and the abusive ones as well. They are all forms of emotional clutter. If there is enough of it and if it remains for long enough, this emotional clutter will flow over into your

environment. If you’re dealing with a cluttered environment, take a look at your inner circle and see who’s present. It may be possible that there are some people in your life that need to be removed. If that’s the case, start thinking about the process of letting them go. Remember that just like the clutter in your space, people can contribute to your emotional clutter and the longer they’re present, the more space they take up. Be careful about who you allow to stay and occupy space in your life. It’s important to keep your emotional space clear, so that your environment can stay clear of the clutter. Finally, let’s look at the spiritual connections that exist between you and your clutter. This area is extremely important, as spirituality is at your core. You are a spiritual being having a human experience. Everything is energy including clutter. We know that like attracts like, therefore, clutter attracts more clutter. The more clutter you have in a space, the heavier or more negative the energy, which impacts you directly. This is the energy that will keep you from being productive in a number of ways. That energy will blur your vision, keep you confused and from moving forward in life. Everyone has their own personal path; a reason why they are here on the planet, or life’s purpose and when there’s clutter you are detoured from that path because it becomes difficult to connect with the Creator, and your higher or spiritual Self. When you hold on to things you remain connected to the past. The things you hold onto hold the energy from past relationships or other situations, and you stay there in that space unable to connect on a spiritual level or to move forward on your path. Once again, you are a spiritual being and in your human life experience you may have a way of gathering things because physical things have become important to you. Not such a great habit to have given that you can become buried in it, leaving your space cluttered and you wasting time searching through the OIKONOMIA 17

clutter for things. More importantly, the clutter leaves you in a place where you have absolutely no freedom, which is completely opposite from the freedom that is inherent within you as a spiritual being. Without that inherent freedom, you become bogged down by the clutter unable to explore or engage in life experiences as you desire. The physical, mental, emotional clutter that you continue to carry adds to existing spiritual clutter having you be unable to fulfill your life’s purpose because you aren’t able to connect with The Divine on that level to be able to be clear about what you are to do. With the clutter present you have no direction and in a sense, have no purpose. When you clear the clutter from your environment, you call back to yourself the parts of

your spirit that have been attached to the clutter and attached to the emotional needs and the memories associated with those things. You bring yourself powerfully into present time. Your energy, instead of being dispersed in multiple unproductive directions, becomes centered and focused. You feel and are more spiritually complete and at peace with yourself. Before you get ready to roll up your sleeves and clear the clutter from your space, take a look at what lies beneath. What’s going on with you physically, mentally emotionally and spiritually? There is so much more to clutter than meets the eye. Many people think that clutter is only stuff that needs to be removed or put away, and wonder how it could be so difficult to get rid of, but don’t be fooled. It really isn’t that simple. Clutter goes much deeper. You are your clutter and if you really want to get rid of the clutter once and for all, start with you. Removing the clutter from your life affords you a space that inspires and nurtures you on all levels, provides warmth and relaxation, safety and security, allows expression of your personality and stimulates spiritual energy.

Sheila Hawkins is the owner of Third Eye Group, a Detroit based pro du c t i v it y firm. Hawkins has over 19 years in professional organizing and project management. Dubbed The Do It In Time Diva TM because of her time management expertise, she’s known for her excellent organizing skills and ability to transform and personalize environments and systems that she creates. Hawkins helps solopreneurs and micro business owners get the most out of their time, increase their productivity and positively impact their bottom line. Learn more at www.thirdeyegroup.org. 18 OIKONOMIA

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OIKONOMIA 19

Rev. K. Saquile Lazenby

veryone is born with a Divine Assignment within them. This assignment can only be completed once we align ourselves with God’s purpose and plan for our lives. We all possess inherent gifts and talents that are unique unto us. These gifts and talents are tools on how we share our gifts with the world. Our daily habits must fulfill the tasks to bring this purpose to the world. This requires us to make a conscious choice daily to live in our purpose. Once we are clear about our purpose, we can develop a plan to bring this purpose about. Your plan to bring your purpose into fruition should include a clear goal that you would like to accomplish and a date of completion. You should 20 OIKONOMIA

break your goal into manageable, daily tasks. Every day, you could work on each task until the goal is fulfilled. Positive Affirmation and Reinforcement are imperative to bring your goal into fruition. We must speak life into our lives. Reciting affirmations such as: I was born with the talent, skill, and will to be a successful business woman – works for me. Focus your thoughts and affirmations only on your good qualities, talents, skills, etc. Yes, you will face obstacles and experience bouts of fear. You will need to remind yourself of what you offer and why you were born to share your purpose with the world. However, please know that if you can see it and feel it. You can definitely be it. You must keep a vision before you and God’s Word within.

How do you find your purpose? You can ask yourself these three questions: What are my hobbies? What do I do without getting paid? What brings me joy and adds onto my happiness?

What brings your plan and purpose together is a Vision. Your vision that you create should include increasing your good and that of others. Various kinds of fuel are needed to manifest your vision. It is important to feed your Spirit, Mind, and Body daily. You can begin your morning with meditating on the word of God. Open your Bible to a particular scripture that resonates with your Spirit. I usually begin with a favorite scripture such as the 23rd Psalm or Psalm 91:1. I read a chapter or two before or after my favorite scripture to put things into context. In my morning spiritual practice, I usually meditate for five to ten minutes to hear the word of God. This helps to center me in the truth of what’s possible. I conclude my spiritual practices with some form of exercise. I usually stretch and practice some kind of calisthenics such as crutches, jumping jacks, sit-up, etc. Please put into practice the activities that you enjoy that feeds your spirit, mind, and body. Beginning each day with a defined plan supports you in getting the most out of your day. I usually divide my life up into four quarters. Each quarter is

three months long. I divide my life into categories such as spiritual, mental, physical, financial, business/career, personal, family, and relationships. I usually have about 3-4 small-medium goals in each category. Then, I break down each goal into action steps. It is these actions steps that go onto my things to do list. For example: Physical Goal (2nd qtr-April- June 2012) I am releasing 15 lbs from my body. 1. I will eat only 1, 200 per day. 2. I will exercise 3 times a week- two yoga classes in the morning and one martial arts class in the evenings on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I will add these classes on my things to do list for the week to make sure I stay on target. Prayerfully, the tools and resources provided will support you in living a purposeful life. OIKONOMIA 21

There are times I look around me and I don’t feel my presence in my space. There are things. There are people. Y et, there seems to be no me. As I commit to begin de-cluttering, I will take what I have read and start…

22 OIKONOMIA

T:10”

BY GIVING JUST A FEW HOURS OF MY DAY

I HELP CHILDREN PREPARE FOR

ABECAUSE LIFETIME OF LEARNING I DON’T JUST WEAR THE SHIRT, I LIVE IT. GIVE. ADVOCATE. VOLUNTEER. LIVE UNITED

Ruth Rusie is part of United Way’s ongoing work to improve the education, income, and health of our communities. To find out how you can help create opportunities for a better life for all, visit LIVEUNITED.ORG. ®

OIKONOMIA 23

GOALS, TO Dos, ASSESSMENTS GOAL AREA: SPIRIT DATE RANGE: _______________________ OVERALL GOAL: ______________________________________________ TO DO LIST

PROGRESS

WHAT MATERIALS/RESOURCES ARE NEEDED TO FACILITATE COMPLETION? ________________________________________ _______________________________ _________ ________________________________________ _____________________ _______________________________________________________________________ CHANGES ANTICIPATED CHALLENGES TO COMPLETING GOAL

PLANS TO OVERCOME CHALLENGE AREA

DID I ACHIEVE MY GOAL: ( ) YES ( ) NO

MY OVERALL ASSESSMENT/THOUGHTS ON THE WEEK: __________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________

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HEALTH What are the requirements for man to live a healthy life? God: There are several types of health. You can be healthy mentally, monetarily, or spiritually. It is my desire that you have complete health and that you seek righteousness first and foremost. If you read Proverbs 3: 1-8, and in fact the entire chapter, you will see what I mean. OIKONOMIAâ&#x20AC;&#x192;25

Bring Clarity to Your Health Challenges by Knowing Your Family’s Health History Aloma George

any medical conditions, including heart disease, breast cancer, prostate cancer, diabetes, alcoholism and Alzheimer’s disease have been passed down through families. Understanding your risk for developing such diseases is an important reason to learn more about your family history. A family health or medical history is begun by talking with your immediate family members. Compiling a family medical history can help you and your doctor spot these family patterns and use the information to assist with the following: • • • • • •

Diagnosing a medical condition Determining whether you may benefit from preventive measures to lower your risk of a specific disease Deciding what medical tests to run Identifying other members of your family who are at risk of developing certain diseases Calculating your risk of certain diseases Calculating your risk of passing certain conditions to your children

26 OIKONOMIA

Once you have compiled a family history, write it down and share with your children. It can be a valuable map to their future health. You should also use that information to take a health risk assessment to get a full picture of your risk factors. Family medical history can be recorded in a similar manner to the traditional family tree, just using standard medical symbols in a pedigree format - squares for men and circles for women. Keep in mind that the format and questions don’t have to be perfect. The more information you gather, in whatever format is easiest for you, the more informed you’ll be about your medical heritage. What you learn could literally save your life! If someone in your family has a new diagnosis – bring that up with your doctor, and evaluate what that might mean to you. Don’t wait to be asked – be your own advocate for improving the health of the body you have been given. If you don’t know all you should, age 40 is a good time to get serious about collecting a family health history. If you want to get started earlier, all the better! Any age is a good time to develop habits that can ward off many diseases, and to begin the screening exams that give you the advantage over others.

Important medical conditions to document include: • Cancer • Heart disease • Diabetes • Asthma • Mental illness • High blood pressure • Stroke • Kidney disease • Alcoholism • Birth defects • Learning disabilities • Vision or hearing loss

OIKONOMIA 27

Your Slimmed Down Healthy Temple is Waiting on You to Give it to God Tymira Mack and E. Claudette Freeman

verall health, fitness and an ideal weight are goals that many people strive to attain. Yet many of us miss the mark. That missed mark is often what contributes to so many health challenges including diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and of course obesity. While many are intimidated by making the life changes necessary to live holistically healthier lives, there are some very simple things that can be done. Dr. Shirley Bailey Johnson, author of the book STAY SLIM GOD’S WAY encourages readers to free themselves from the trap of food addictions by becoming physically fit and presenting their bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God which is considered very reasonable and a form of worship. Her book provides what she calls a, “practical guide to obtaining God’s ideal weight for you through prayer, praise, journaling and worship.” Johnson says you can begin to transform your mind, your body and your health by giving our appetites and food choice decisions to the Lord and never take those decisions back from Him. The STAY SLIM GOD’S WAY plan includes daily nutrients of affirmations, scriptures, prayers and songs in an eight week cycle. “I want readers to know that nothing is too hard for God, including healthy and lasting weight loss.” Johnson says. Registered Licensed Dietician Demetrice Morrison says making the shift to healthier and wiser food choices starts in the kitchen. “The kitchen is the meeting place, the foundation the area where the family meets. It is also an area where the health body and soul receives adequate nourishment. The first intervention for better health begins with the grocery list.” What should be on this grocery list? Morrison encourages the key essentials for a healthy body, and family: fresh fruits, plenty of plant-based products such as vegetables, lean proteins such as salmon, fish, tuna, turkey and beans, seeds, nuts and whole grains. The next step says Morrison is taking what you have purchased and translating it into healthy meals. “If you are on the go, then plan to prepare a healthy sandwich with double the vegetables, bean soup and two vegetables with plenty

28 OIKONOMIA

of water. Ensure that these basic lunch meals have are in the cupboards, refrigerator or raw. If you have time to prepare a healthy meal, consider the plate model. Construct your meal as half the plate with vegetables, the other third lean protein and the other third a serving of complex carbohydrate. Still hungry? Consider a hand full of pecans, walnuts or a bowl of fresh fruit. The most important component of better health is to keep plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables readily available.” Both Dr. Johnson and Morrison advocate keeping water in the home, your workplace or wherever you frequent. Another suggestion move away from sugar heavy drinks and sodas (including diet sodas), opt instead for organic or green teas. Because of high sodium, sugar and carbohydrate numbers, Morrison also suggests you stay away from a diet that depends heavily on TV dinners, frozen foods, fast foods and desserts. Johnson, who is enjoying the second half of her life with amazing vigor and energy, jumps rope every day, at least 300 intervals moving frontward, backward and side to side. Like many health professionals, she says the important thing to do is MOVE. She encourages making your time of praise and worship more active – vigorously reaching towards heaven as you praises, bending your body as you wave in praise, lifting your legs in marching fashion as you continue to enjoy being in the presence of the Lord. These moves require no new fitness equipment, no special shoes and if you just feel like you want to add weights to your workout, grab half gallons of water for each hand, or larger canned good items from your cupboard.

Shirley Johnson

Demetrice Morrison

With just these mild modifications, you are well on your way to a lifelong practice to a better health. If you have additional nutrition questions, you may reach Demetrice Morrison, at morrisonprofessionals@yahoo.com. To book Dr. Johnson’s STAY SLIM GOD’S WAY program in your ministry or group, you may reach her at s2jesus@aol.com. OIKONOMIA 29

I tell myself it’s cheaper to buy those things that bring me comfort and a relief from the pain for the moment; yet if I a m to prosper in health – even as my soul prospers – perhaps my new shopping list should include…

30 OIKONOMIA

GOALS, TO Dos, ASSESSMENTS GOAL AREA: HEALTH DATE RANGE: ______________________ OVERALL GOAL: ______________________________________________ TO DO LIST

PROGRESS

PLANS TO OVERCOME CHALLENGE AREA

DID I ACHIEVE MY GOAL: ( ) YES ( ) NO

OIKONOMIA 31

Personal / Career Development

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Personal Development – Taking the limits off F

or many days now I have been pondering this question, what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? This question caused me great anticipation, excitement and yet tremendous hesitancy. Such a simple question, yet it opens the door to limitless possibilities. To the one that embarks upon it with curiosity. I believe this question, will challenge that dreamer inside of you and awaken a sleeping giant. This thought provoking question shook the foundation of my mediocre existence and shouted loudly, you have been created to exceed great limitations, what are you waiting on? Like a clashing wave of faith overtaking the boat of doubt, my creative imagination began to soar to into the realms of what was once a thought of impossibility. With one change of my mental perception, those life’s endeavors, passions, pursuits, dreams which once seemed unattainable

now appear inevitably mine upon demand. In essence, my personal development and growth beyond measure has been chosen for me (Jer.1:5); it is essentially up to me to now choose to pursue that God given dream till the promise manifest. In order, to be on a continuum of developing personally, we must first understand we are created in the likeness of the creator God, Elohim. This awareness gives us the knowledge and the insight that the blueprint for our lives has already been mapped out. The question now becomes can we boldly take the limits off of God and allow him to launch us into this new level. Surprisingly, God’s school of personal development has a few prerequisites. For those who are ready to meet the challenge and embark upon the greater dream God has designed. That dream entails soaring to higher heights; the Bible tells us it is impossible to accomplish these types of things without faith. For OIKONOMIA 33

these things are pleasing unto God. When we harness faith it will allow us to dream past where we are and envision where we are going. Therefore, I asked you this question, what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? What endeavor would you pursue? What job would apply for? What new road life would you take? Pursuing the dream can be challenging, but remember we were created to win. Here are a few tips to taking the limits of God: 1. Let go of the past, so that you are free to grab hold of faith and launch out into the deep. 2. Believe and trust in God for your source of joy, support and courage through the storm. 3. Once faith is on board and anchored, become a student of life. Re-educate yourself through various means prayer, meditation, committing to reading a book a week, a newspaper article in an unfamiliar section of paper, visit your

local library, take an online college course, learn a new language, learn to sing or dance, or join a local Toastmaster’s group and sharpen your public speaking skills. There are so many options available to you for re-education. Have fun in learning. When we cease to learn we ultimate cease to grow and expand. Now that you have established faith, soar beyond the mediocre, take time to dream by creating a dream board. As you ponder your dream board activities remove all limiting beliefs such as financial constraints, possible rejections, insecurity questions, nay-sayer’s and dream big dreams. Remember your personal development is limited only by what you choose. Choose to let Jesus take the lead and live life with expectation. We do have a choice, we can sit comfortably in our boat of doubt or we can choose to take the limits off of God and allow him to make HIS dream a reality.

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34 OIKONOMIA

HANDLE YOUR APPROACH TO LEADERSHIP DECENTLY AND IN ORDER Elder Vernita C. Williams

Are you serving under a Pastor and you believe, based upon your awesome anointing, that you should get more preaching time, more teaching time or more exposure?

ell now that I have mentioned it of course you do – right? I know what you believe. You think your Pastor should allow you to do more in the church. After all, you are mightily anointed and personally anointed by God. Certainly you have been around longer than some of these other ministers or church elders. Clearly, while you have only been a member of this ministry for a few months, you came aboard with more Biblical and ecclesiastical knowledge than most. You have even entertained the thought that your Pastor is intimidated by your anointing, your skills and your talents. You have bought into your overrated assessment of how God is using you. (Oops you didn’t see that coming did you?) Instead of making your Pastor responsible for promoting you – with your anointed self - why not heed the instructions of Joshua. In Joshua 17:14-17, the children of Joseph complained that they did not receive more land when Joshua was distributing acreage to the 12 tribes. They reasoned that they should have received more because they were a great people. Well, Joshua had news for them. Joshua told them in verse 15: «If thou be a great people, then get thee up to the wood country, and cut down for thyself there in the land of the Perizzites and of the giants, if Mount Ephraim Attorney Vernita C. Williams be too narrow for thee.» Please take note that the land of specializes in wills, trusts and the Perizzites was enemy territory. estate planning. She is a highlyWhat Joshua really said was: Conquer your enemies sought after speaker on subject and exercise your physical and spiritual muscles. That will matters related to her areas of get your expansion. This is a lesson that we will all have specialty. An ordained minister, to learn. Instead of expecting handouts, you will have to she is additionally the Pastor of Stewardship at pave the way by the sweat of your own brow. You will have New Birth Baptist Church Cathedral of Faith to work it out in your own prayer closet. You will have to International. She is additionally the host of a radio tackle some enemies and overcome some giants. program heard Wednesdays on www.wmbm. Learn to appreciate the opportunities your Pastor has com, called Victorious Life Management. She already provided and don’t be so quick to demand more. is completing her first two books PRINCIPLES Understand that in appreciating the opportunities, you OF ABUNDANCE and WISDOM FROM THE may need to check and adjust your attitude. Jesus served WORD (from which this article was excerpted). humbly, wherever His ministry led him. OIKONOMIA 35

When the Boss is CONFUSED and OUT OF ORDER, the

WORKPLACE MAY FOLLOW

ow does it feel to be in a work place where everything is messy and disorganized? Isn’t it hard to imagine things like this? What does a traveler feel when he gets a disorganized map, would he still continue his journey? Being under disorganized leadership is like travelling with a disorganized map.

36 OIKONOMIA

Giancarlo Cruz Every leader serves as a compass in the work place. The more focused the leader is the clearer the goal can be achieved. But how can someone do their job in this kind of situation? First, you have to think and determine in your mind that above your boss - is an organized God who sees every

detail of your work. Joseph the dreamer is a good example of an employee who ended up successful. He never failed to recognize the presence of God in his work place. His reverence to the King of kings made him aware that he has to do his best in his work. That’s why his unbelieving boss was amazed in

his performance and entrusted the whole household to his hands. After setting your mind you have to consider some things in order to work well with your disorganized boss. Kraig Jarrow, the author of, Time Management Ninja shares eight secrets on how to work with a disorganized boss. (1) Stay one step ahead. By this he mean, that doing your work ahead of the expected deadline from your boss will lessen pressure on your part when the stage crisis comes. (2) Find the best way to communicate. Don’t wait for your boss to notice your emails sent to him. Some bosses are not fun of reading email. There are some who are better informed in person. Find the way that is more comfortable for him to communicate, so that no work will be delayed. (3) Plan for problems. As an employee under a disorganized boss, you must know how to trouble shoot. You must be ready for an emergency situation. You are to be resourceful, and a quick thinker. (4) Don’t wait for lateness. Your boss may miss some meetings due to poor time management. In that case, don’t wait for your boss to come, do your work as outlined and timely. (5) Don’t assume anything. Don’t assume that your boss already read you emails, read your reports or etc. Make a way to remind him of what you need in a nonconfrontational manner. (6) Finish things further ahead. If your boss is bad in meeting deadlines, do your part of the work much further ahead. You will have more time to check or recheck your work if you work far in advance.

(7) Bring solutions to the table. Disorganized bosses, usually cram and encounter problems. They need answers to problems consistently. (8) What can you take off their plate? Disorganized bosses are pre-occupied with too much work, which they cannot handle. They are poor in delegating work too, so as an employee under him, it is an opportunity for you to help him accomplish work and be recognized. How can one advance with a disorganized boss? If you try to look on the brighter side of this challenge, being under a disorganized boss may lead you to become more efficient in your work. You may be hesitant to accept new responsibilities without being paid in return, but doing it may help you progress in your career. “You may gain a good position in the company once your boss notices your progress. Building trusting relationship with your unorganized boss may also help you gain success in your work place, not only for your but for the benefit of the company,” said Nancy Wallis of TSA Career Coaching Service. How do you flourish without appearing to be difficult? Being in a messy and disorganized work place may leave you stressed and tired. But you can still flourish in this kind of situation. Again let’s take a look at the life of Joseph while under the rule of Potiphar. He was assigned as a servant

in his house, the lifestyle that he had never experienced beside Jacob his father. But instead of murmuring, Joseph learned to love his work and did it well. His inspiration to do it was the presence of God in his life. His attitude of endurance made him flourish in the stressful situation. The result, day after day, the captain of the guard noticed the excellence of Joseph in his work, and promoted him to a good position. Endurance is one of the good secret to become successful in your career. No matter how messy the work place is, if you have the endurance to continue both sides will benefit. It will also help an individual to enhance his or her ability and their coping skills. Endurance is the out of the wisdom from the word of God. Joshua 1:8 says that every believer should not depart from the word of God. For it is the secret to achieve good success. Are you tired of your unorganized boss? Be encouraged in the challenge, God has a wonderful plan for elevating you. Shine as a light and make a good flavor as the salt of the earth. As a Christian you can make a difference in your work place. Just like Joseph, when he did his best, never thinking of his advantages. He started as a slave but later upgraded to a better position, that made him the steward over his kindred, and countrymen. OIKONOMIA 37

Relationships

38窶グIKONOMIA

When confusion reigns in the home, how does it affect the family?

“I

like it when your room is clean mommie.” This from my daughter as she lies across my bed, body extended, smiling up at me as she covers as much of my space as she can with her body, her quickly discarded black jacket, and her pillow (which she grabbed before coming to sprawl across my bed); in my recently organized bedroom. In that moment of thinking ‘she just wants to fill up space I just emptied,’ I realized that as hard as it was for her and I to move around all my stuff as it sat in disarray, what must it be like to navigate family matters in a home filled with confusion, dysfunction and chaos.

A Black Hole

Confusion in the home is like a black hole. NASA defines a black hole as a place in space where gravity pulls in so much that even light cannot get out. You definitely cannot see a black hole with the naked human eye. Experts developed and use satellites and telescopes to get a closer look at these mysterious spaces. According to NASA, experts recognize the presence of a black hole by how the stars and gases around it are affected – they behave outside normal parameters for stars and gases not near a black hole. Family members dealing with confusion in the home are the stars and gases too close to the black hole, to close to the confusion. They are behaving outside the norm for functional families. But this is usually missed or overlooked because the definition of what constitutes a functional, healthy family structure is oft times elusive, yet it must be defined. Even before experts could accurately identify that stars and gases behave differently when near a black hole, they first had to define what constituted normal behavior of stars and gases in the galaxy, that were not near a black hole.

By Definition

The family structure by definition is varied depending on the culture, the community, and the members of the family unit. OIKONOMIA 39

For purposes of this article, a general definition of a functional healthy family is one that has a pattern of behavior and coping strategies during stressful situations that are flexible, solution-focused, with clearly identified boundaries, and is open to get and receive help outside the family unit. The family unit, according to the US Census Bureau, is a group of people who function together as a household, usually related by blood, marriage, or adoption. These family members tend to be socially, economically, emotionally and spiritually linked. A functional family unit is for the most part cohesive, and united in each of these areas. Yet this functionality can be eroded by the constant presence or regular occurrence of a state of confusion. Let’s face it, confusion degrades the family unit. American families are drowning in dysfunction. According to the American Medical Association, more than 70% of homes have reported the presence of some kind of addiction; while more than half of these same homes have some kind of dysfunction that has resulted in divorce.

What’s going on?

We all crave order, and within the home when confusion reigns, family members can start to wonder where they fit in amongst the chaos – even doing and saying things they think will help them carve out their spot in the midst of the confusion. And when you really need to focus on peace, and find clarity to resolve issues, you can’t, due to the overwhelming confusion that has been allowed to permeate the 40 OIKONOMIA

home, encompassing the family in a cloud of disorder and chaos. Why is confusion and dysfunction so prevalent in the disintegration of the family? Several reasons, including-most people don’t want to take a closer look; some believe or have been taught that going outside the family for help is just “not done” because it’s a family matter; and then there is the fact that some people just don’t know where to go for help. If you have ever been a stargazer then you know the value of investing in a telescope that has the ability to help you see farther into the darkness above our world. For the well-being of the family, take the time to find out what tools and expertise are needed to help your family see into the darkness that confusion has created in the home. Sometimes the best thing a family can do when it realizes that family members, or even themselves, are acting differently, is to seek expert, wise counsel so they can get a closer look at how confusion is affecting the family. Many families look good on the outside, when they go out, when you stop by to visit, all seems well. You have to be willing to look close enough to see the problem, and then be willing to seek help. Otherwise the family begins a decline that spirals out of control. If your family has experienced the revealing of a ‘family secret’ there is some confusion in the home. If your family continually has problems that block the way to a cohesive, unified family unit, then there is some confusion in the home. If you cannot see your way past the last “bad” thing a loved one did to

you, there is some confusion in the home. If communication is stagnate and everyone does his own thing, then confusion reigns in the home. What are you going to do about it? What can you do about it? Begin by visualizing what your family would look like if confusion did not reign. Not sure, get help! Christian clinical psychologists, pastors and other faith-based professionals can get the family on track and help the family maintain a functional, healthy family structure, where confusion does not reign and you are once again the master of your home. Confusion in the home leaves little to no room for God, so get rid of the confusion and make room for God to sprawl across your bed, get comfortable and tell you “I like it when your room is clean.” Kimberly Larkins Robinson is a gifted Bible teacher and certified customer service presenter; with a master’s degree, and two decades of experience designing and delivering highly effective ministry components for children, youth, young adults, as well as leadership development. Her experience includes program participation with the Evangelical Training Association and lead teacher for a retreat session of the Billy Graham Youth Evangelism Certification Program Dare To Be A Daniel. Kimberly is also a business owner, providing high quality writing and training services to small and mid-size businesses, non-profits, and educational and government entities. You may reach her at klr@kimcomm.com.

The Prodigal Son: At Some Point You Must Go Home Again Luke 15: 17-24 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. 17

OIKONOMIA 41

Luke 15 is a passage of Biblical scripture that talks about the lost being found. Verses 11-31 tell the story of the prodigal son, who took his inheritance, spent it all and then returned home to his father broke and broken. It would be safe to say that we all thought at some point how foolish he was. Well if the truth be told we all have either had or will have a prodigal son experience in our lives; have you ever left a church, quit a ministry or a job, or left a mate and later discovered that wasn’t such a good idea? Unlike the Prodigal son most of us will never swallow our pride and return to where God had us in the first place; a place where there is love, comfort, joy, peace, and blessings. There is nothing like the love and care of a father it’s tough but fair, it doesn’t accept excuses but is compassionate all the same. There are times as a child of God that we have to ask our heavenly father to forgive us and just like the Prodigal son we are surprised at the Love, Grace, and Mercy he shows. WALKING AWAY The decision to stay or go can weigh heavy on your heart or be as clear as day, either way it’s not the decision that we struggle with it’s the events which follow that will either free us or bind us. You see being a faithful tithing member of a church won’t keep you at that Church when confronted with a decision to stay or go. It doesn’t matter if your thinking of leaving because of church hurt, or some other outside influences, and convincing yourself that God has spoken to you isn’t difficult to do either when you decide to leave. How many sleepless nights do we have when deciding whether to stay in a relationship or not? That’s why it is imperative that we not only stay prayed up but partnered up with some people who love us enough to tell us the truth no matter what the cost

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THE NEW LAND Once you have made the decision to leave and you arrive in a new land, you are subject to the ways of the new land. Every relationship you get in is new and unknown, and comes with a price. The place you have decided to worship comes with its own set of particular challenges, you have to get to know and adjust to a entirely new set of habits, rituals, and attitudes. When something is new we tend to only see the good so we are prone to putting everything we have into it, for we truly believe that we are in a much better place than before. At this point we turn into Anita Baker and give the best that we got; without taking the time to think things through simply because we feel better than before. If not careful it is in the new land that you can realize that you have given everything that you had, your money is gone, your talents aren’t the same if you use them at all, and you feel lost and confused as to who you are and is it worth going on. You’ve hit rock bottom and you have to make a decision stay in the new land and beg or humble yourself and return to your rightful place that you’re father has for you.

RETURNING HOME Allow me to tell you what happened to me when I returned home from my prodigal son experience. In the new land, just like at home, I served and was even placed in a position of authority, giving everything that I had to give unto the Lord. I realized one day that I had spent all that I had and there was nothing left, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. My entire life was in disarray, and I was in a foreign land and not where God wanted me. I needed to return home and sit at my spiritual father’s table and be fed the word of God where my soul could be at peace. I sat there and although externally everything looked great, internally I was dying and needed to be saved. You see I came back crying and on my face, broken and beaten with nothing left not even dignity or pride. Every time I came back to church my father would kill the fatted calf and celebrate my return by preaching the word of God and ministering to my broken spirit. Beginning to heal one Sunday I decided to attend a stewardship class (although I hold several certifications and licenses in finances) and hear from the people of

God how to be a good steward of the blessings God has given me. The first class I attended, Elder Brenda (BJ) Jackson asked me to close out in prayer, as I prayed (I said to myself this lady doesn’t know me she must be crazy). I needed to heal and that was a part of it. I went back the next week and she asked me to close out in prayer again, I did; and afterwards I said to her you don’t know me or even if I know how to pray, and her response was I just do what the spirit leads me too. I began to heal a little more. I became one of the stewardship teachers of our 7/20 strategy where we teach, seven principles in 20 areas all focusing on helping people become good stewards of not just their money but their entire lives. With the guidance of Elder Vernita Williams and Elder Jackson along with the entire stewardship ministry I have begun to bless others; it is actually through this ministry that I was introduced to the publisher of Oikonomia. I want to take this opportunity to thank my spiritual father Bishop Victor T. Curry of New Birth Baptist Church of Miami, FL for being obedient to God and allowing the great leaders that God has entrusted to you to lead and serve the people of God. OIKONOMIA 43

Wayne M. Dean Licensed and certified in: Investing, Retirement Planning, College Education Funds, Life Insurance, Debt Reduction, and Loans

For more than a decade I have been empowering families and individuals with invaluable financial concepts and principals designed to help them obtain their financial goals. In addition to writing financial articles for several publications, I am licensed and certified in such critical areas as Investing, Retirement Planning, College Education Funds, Life Insurance, Debt Reduction, and Loans which allow me to provide solutions to the financial problems that concern people most.

With many of my clients being in different stages of their lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s journey; accumulation, retention, and distribution become paramount in their concerns. I provide each client with a complimentary personalized financial plan; which is key to a successful long term relationship.

I want to know what YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH with your financial future, and help you implement the appropriate financial strategy which will protect and strengthen your present, while building a secured future focused on your specific goals and needs. For your convenience, our offices are located at: 3349 N. University Dr. Suite 1-F, Davie FL, 33027 954 854-1510

44â&#x20AC;&#x192;OIKONOMIA

ADHD, ODD and RAD

– What You Need To Know About How They Affect the Family

ttention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Attention Deficiency Disorder (ADD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) are problems that many parents from around the world face today. Unfortunately, studies have shown that the number of children being afflicted with this problem has been steadily growing through the years. Hence, the need to discuss and resolve them is something that must be done accordingly. Here are some specific pieces of information about each of these respective disorders in order to help one understand the problem – and to know how to deal with them in the most efficient and effective ways.

ADHD/ADD

According to studies, children suffering from this problem will have an issue with their executive functions – which is the ability or capacity to plan, organize or even complete their tasks. Because of this

apparent deficiency, parents of children with ADD or ADHD will have to be the one to supervise and guide their children, until they are able to learn and gain the skills that they may be lacking at. Many experts claim that although children with this problem can be quite annoying and can be exasperating at some point – one must note that the children suffering from this disorder also find their problem quite frustrating as well. Hence, every parent must exercise the necessary patience and understanding for their child’s sake. After all, their little one is suffering too. The most often behavioral problems that kids with ADD/ ADHD have are - demanding attention regardless of the propriety of time, having difficulty in organizing and tend to be easily distracted, not hearing instructions, tactlessness, hyperactivity and many others. Fortunately, numerous behavioral tactics have been designed by experts in order to keep this problem at bay. The first is for the parent to maintain a positive attitude and good health in order to provide OIKONOMIA 45

the necessary guidance for the child and the next is to provide the necessary attention and care for the child. A parent might also want to set rules and stick to them in order to make things clearer for the child. There are also those who suggest keeping their kids busy with simple activities in order to satisfy their need to move around and to help them get over the problem. Always keep in mind that this is a behavioral problem. And though it may be quite irritating for many – one will have to exude the necessary compassion and patience in order to make things better for the child and his family.

ODD

The Diagnostics and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition, says ODD is actually a disorder that involves a pattern of defiant, hostile and negativistic behavior against figures in authority, such as parents or teachers. Unfortunately, this apparent disobedience to authority will more likely result to the child having some problems in academics, socializing and eventually in his occupation. Hence, it is of utmost importance that a parent is able to rectify this order as early as possible in order to avoid any of its negative consequences. The first step in order to understand this disorder is for the parent to distinguish which behavior falls under normal childhood defiance and which actually stems from ODD. Most children suffering from this problem will show the following characteristics: • Most possess this strong and inherent need to control their surroundings, their parents and other people - in order to gain and exert power over them. • If they are scolded or if their attention is called for because of their misbehavior – they will try to deny responsibility at all costs. This is attributable to their minimal insight as to the consequences of their actions and how these will impact those around him. 46 OIKONOMIA

• They can be very exploitive, most especially in their social circle. Most often, they also tend to quickly notice the response of others with regards their actions – and use this in order to take advantage of family and other environments. • ODD children also tend to delve in negativity. Usually, they like situations of anger, conflict and negativity – and they usually win in these situations. According to numerous studies, children suffering from ODD can be attributed to unbalanced family relations. This means that ODD children can be commonly found in families where parents tend to rigidly and overly hover over every act of a child – which can result to the kid exerting more defiance and objection. ODD children can also be a result when the parents of the child are always in conflict – which exposes the child to the same environment and will most likely result to her negative behavior as well. This problem can be resolved with proper family counseling, in order to address the issues that may be present or in order to help the family deal with the disorder. Experts also believe that applying the proper strategies to avoid conflict with the child will be able to solve the problem efficiently, as well as the use of effective consequences in order to make it clear to the child that he or she does not wield power over the parent. In this last instance however, the consequences and rules must be set not during confrontation, because this will only create more defiance later on if done otherwise.

RAD

According to some studies, this problem is usually present in children which show either excessive attempts to receive affection from any adult or even strangers, or the extreme reluctance to receive any comfort or affection from anyone, whether it be familiar adults such parents. Walter D. Buenning, Ph.D. wrote that, “A child with this order can likewise result to him or her becoming

intensively angry, which may negatively affect the child’s social life, his childhood or even his future. In effect, this is a disorder which must never be underestimated.” Dr. Buenning also discussed the fact that a child with RAD can be treated efficiently with the proper therapy that is handled by the proper specialist. However, he suggests that during these therapy sessions – it would be best if the entire family was present as well. This is in line with studies that show that most RAD children are prone to lying in order to deny their problems. But with the parent’s inputs, then the specialist can efficiently make the right diagnosis in order to effectively solve the problem once and for all. It is also worth noting that the purpose of these family sessions is to build a stronger relationship between the parent and the child, to foster a closer bond with them. This is because of studies which show that stronger family ties between parents and children will decrease the negative effects of this disorder. Certain techniques such as the holding therapy and other procedures have also been introduced in order to solve this problem. However, the most stringent methods considered by experts are the proper education of parents about RAD, the development of better parenting skills and the creation of better bonding activities in order to build or repair the relationship between the parent and the child. The need for good family relations is essential, albeit indispensable, for the proper development of children who struggle with ADHD, ODD, and RAD. Otherwise, this will only cause more serious problems which these poor children will have to suffer from. Besides, having better family relations does not only mean the avoidance of behavioral problems – it will likewise mean a better and happier life as well.

AT FIRST I WAS EMBARRASSED. ME, A CAT, LIVING WITH A SINGLE GUY. BUT WHEN I WATCH HIM PICK SOMETHING UP WITH HIS HANDS AND EAT IT, I CAN’T HELP BUT LOVE HIM. — MARU adopted 01-10-10

OIKONOMIA 47

Some of my unimportant relationships are flourishing. Some of my important relationships are on life support. Seems that there may be some clutter and disorder going on, so I need to engage my relationship with God and then with self, so that I a m able to relate with others 窶ｦ

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GOALS, TO Dos, ASSESSMENTS GOAL AREA: RELATIONSHIPS DATE RANGE: _______________________ OVERALL GOAL: ______________________________________________ TO DO LIST

PROGRESS

PLANS TO OVERCOME CHALLENGE AREA

DID I ACHIEVE MY GOAL: ( ) YES ( ) NO

OIKONOMIA 49

CHURCH God what piece of advice would you give to todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s churches as it relates to the nurturing of your people? God: I see where there are a lot of great things being done in my name and I understand how easy it can be to get confused with my will and self will. Having said that I think that it is very important to take a look at the book of Revelation chapters 1 & 2; what I revealed to John about the seven churches in those passages define what pleases me and what I reject. I know those words will help everyone remember my desires for my church. 50â&#x20AC;&#x192;OIKONOMIA

The Comfortable Church or the Great Commission Church?

he local church is a busy hub of ministry activity--from worship and Sunday School to missions projects and committee meetings. With so many activities and people going in countless directions, a church easily can get out of balance. Some programs may assume more prominence than necessary, while other important ones die on the vine for lack of support. Staff member may experience the frustration of working harder and harder, yet feel they are accomplishing less and less. Keeping the church balanced means keeping priorities in line and allocating scarce resources accordingly. The following diagram portrays four ministry areas that must be balanced:

Outreach

4 Visitation

3 Evangelism

Inreach

1 Bodybuilding

2 Discipling/Training

Fellowship

Equipping OIKONOMIAâ&#x20AC;&#x192;51

Balanced Vs. Unbalanced Churches Spiritually healthy churches balance inreach with outreach and fellowship with equipping. As a result, the four categories--or arenas--of ministry activity are organized and adequately supported with resources (budget funding, staffing time commitments, etc.). For churches to simply allocate exactly a quarter of resources to each of the four ministry arenas is unrealistic; nonetheless, a serious commitment should be given to all four; bodybuilding, discipling and training, evangelism, and visitation. With such commitment, none of the arenas is allowed to grow disproportionately large or small. As a result, the four «boxes» on the matrix diagram remain roughly equivalent in size. This is not the case in unbalanced churches, where one or two of the ministry arenas «overshadow» the others and use up more than their fair share of resources. Let’s look at the two most common types, or patterns, of unbalanced churches: 4 Visitation

3 Evangelism

1 Bodybuilding

2 Discipling/Training

The ingrown church (Type I) goes overboard on bodybuilding programs design to serve existing members, such as Bible study and fellowship activities, but finds little time, energy, or resources for outreach activities. Evangelism and visitation become anemic, causing the church to appear unfriendly or aloof to outsiders. 4 Visitation

3 Evangelism

1 Bodybuilding

2 Discipling/Training

The disorganized church (Type II) suffers the opposite fate, due to imbalance among the four ministry arenas. Members are so busy with outreach activities that they cannot devote adequate attention to administration and training. Typically, due to poor planning and behind-the-scenes coordination, worship and Sunday School in the disorganized church resemble the proverbial Chinese fire drill. Visitors likely will hesitate to return until the church «gets its act together.» 52 OIKONOMIA

The Comfortable Church Achieving reasonable balance among body life, visitation, equipping, and evangelism is challenging work. Church leaders must wrestle constantly to define priorities, decide on budget trade-offs, prod members into action, and recruit volunteers. They grow weary trying to achieve a comfortable balance and search for a comfortable solution, which is precisely when situations get out of balance. The comfortable church that grows weary of maintaining a balance between inreach and outreach and between fellowship and equipping has the following characteristics: Comfortable churches naturally gravitate more toward inreach than outreach because members already know one another and are comfortable in their relationships. They increasingly find more and more activities to do together (fellowship functions, recreation, and meals at church), thus leaving less time available for reaching out to others (visitors, neighbors, and work associates). Comfortable churches tend to hire many staff members to do the work of the church rather than relying on lay volunteers. How can I help the church?» soon becomes replaced by «Let the staff do it.» Comfortable churches also leave missions’ activities--both foreign and home--to paid «professional» missionaries coordinated at denominational headquarters. This passive approach proves a more comfortable arrangement than the active «hands-on» involvement of members themselves.

The Great Commission Church Churches that maintain a conscious commitment to evangelism and discipling do not leave outreach and equipping to chance. They consciously build Great Commission activities help build outreach and discipling and equipping become part of fellowshipping. Worship. Worship services periodically can focus on how God is at work among church members. News updates from home and foreign missionaries can be announced. Members who are personally involved in evangelism and discipling activities can give testimonials. Sunday School. Classes can «adopt» specific missionaries by praying for, writing to, and hosting them when they visit the church on furlough. Special Sunday School classes occasionally can be offered to teach members how to share their faith with visitors, Class members also can become a vital part of home missions by being pen pals to people who become Christians while in prison. Missions. The congregation can participate once or twice a year in missions projects, such as on-site construction, non-budgeted missions fund-raisers, evangelistic film presentations and Bible distributions. Members who invest «sweat equity» in home missions projects are more likely to invest financially and prayerfully in foreign missions at the denominational level. Fellowship. The great Commission easily can become part of fellowship events in the local church. Members of a local or regional children’s home can be invited to youth-group recreational activities. Desserts can be taken to nursing homes during church potluck dinners. An hour or two can be spent on church workdays doing yard work and conducting fix-up projects for needy people in the neighborhood. OIKONOMIA 53

Becoming Comfortable with the Great Commission

Once outreach and equipping activities become a natural part of the church’s lifestyle, members will become increasingly comfortable with the Great Commission. It can even be fun! Outreach breaks up the sense of routing that so easily can invade a church. Equipping and discipling activities are the ideal way to make members feel more spiritually powerful and useful. The Great Commission is God’s plan for revitalizing congregational life and for revitalizing congregational life and for recharging our spiritual batteries. The holistic, balanced church is ultimately a spiritually healthy and growing church; once members experience the excitement and satisfaction of outreach and discipling, they never again will settle for comfortable complacency.

A) Jumping Bean B) Jack’s Bounce C) Jumping Jacks D) None of the Above Even if you don’t know the answer, all you need to know is that any activity is a good activity. So play sports, run, dance, jump in place, ¡Lo que sea! whatever, just get up and play at least one hour a day! For fun activities and ways to stay healthy visit

54 OIKONOMIA

www.letsmove.gov

Is Your Church Ready? I

n times of disaster, is your church ready to offer hope and help? Floods, hurricanes, tornadoes and pandemics confront us with large-scale tragedy. Yet they also provide the church with one of its greatest opportunities to demonstrate God’s love to people who are hurting. Though government and public agencies are prepared to help in times of disaster, there is no greater or more effective organization in a community to offer eternally significant help and comfort than the local church. Local churches are uniquely invested in their communities and remain long after the media, the government and public agencies have moved on. Local churches best understand the culture and people

around them. Most importantly, every church shares a mandate from God not just to preach the gospel but to love their neighbors sacrificially. In the wake of a crisis, opportunities abound to build relationships with people who might never attend a traditional church service. As families struggle to rebound, churches can live out the mandate to love them as congregations band together to relieve suffering and bring comfort. Disaster response provides a myriad of venues for these opportunities. Churches don’t need to wait to respond to major disasters like Hurricane Katrina, 9/11 or the Oklahoma City bombing. Far more disasters involve a single family or an individual, and the church—if it

OIKONOMIA 55

is prepared to do so—is one of the few organizations equipped to help at that level. Every community faces disasters. The most vital thing churches must do is to plan and prepare in advance how they will respond. Here are some priority issues every church should consider.

Promote individual family preparedness If the members of a church are themselves unprepared for disasters, the ability of the church to respond and assist in disasters is hindered. Families who are not prepared have to react to and focus on their own disaster issues, thus depleting the church of one of its most valuable resources—volunteers. Churches can provide training for families on issues of individual preparedness by contacting a local Salvation Army or American Red Cross chapter about having these kinds of training sessions. Convoy of Hope provides manuals on individual preparedness on its Web site, hopebeginshere.org.

Develop a strategy Consider the church’s location, size, volunteer base, financial and material resources and strengths. • Can the building be used as a feeding center or shelter? • Are some members professional responders who could set up a medical clinic or counseling service? • Could church members assemble and distribute relief kits? • Can the church serve as a distribution center for food, hygiene kits or clothing? • Does the church have additional facilities to warehouse large quantities of food and relief supplies for the community? • Could the church assist with or function as a long-term recovery center? • What current ministries could continue or even expand during a disaster? 56 OIKONOMIA

• How can the church help the elderly, single moms, the poor, those with special needs, and other vulnerable populations? Once a church identifies how best to serve, a team should be built to oversee the coordination of response efforts. The senior pastor should be included in the team, but not necessarily serve as the head of it. His or her attention would likely be diverted in times of disaster to overseeing the many needs of the church facilities and ministering to needs within the congregation.

Connect with your community The disaster ministry team leader should connect with others in the community involved in disaster response, especially the local emergency management. This person can help assess needs in the community’s disaster response plans and help the church find its niche in the community. This helps prevent duplication of services and confusion between organizations. No church can fill every need. A church should pick one area to become involved in and work to become as efficient and effective as possible in that area, and partner with local agencies and other local churches with a heart for serving the community during disasters. Disaster response is much more effective when everyone works together.

Develop team protocols A church’s disaster preparedness team needs to know when and how the church’s disaster ministry plan is to be initiated. • Who is responsible to initiate and coordinate activities when a disaster hits? • How would the team communicate with each other? • What central location will the team use to meet?

Prepare facilities Once the disaster response ministry is defined, the facilities should be prepared, the proper equipment acquired, and all volunteers trained. • In the event of disaster, what measures are in place to protect the church, including documents and data? • Who is responsible for assessing damage and contacting appropriate persons (including local response agencies, insurance agencies, district and national officials, etc.)? • Are there plans for evacuating the facilities during a service or large gathering? How is this information communicated and by whom? • Do your volunteers have access to equipment needed for response, and can they get to it in a

timely manner? Do they know how to use the equipment?

Provide training Many communities offer a spectrum of training courses. Every church’s disaster response team should take advantage of such training. Ideally, such training opportunities should include the whole church. Schedule teams to take classes such as CERT (Community Emergency Response Training), CPR, shelter training, and spiritual and emotional care courses including Critical Incident Stress Management courses. Any church, anywhere of any size can promote church preparedness and community disaster response. More information, including manuals on preparedness measures, is available at hopebeginshere.org.

OIKONOMIA 57

It is so easy to get caught up in the conversations about what church is or is not doing. I challenge myself today with this question: How can I more effectively serve as the church of Jesus Christ?

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GOALS, TO Dos, ASSESSMENTS GOAL AREA: CHURCH DATE RANGE: _______________________ OVERALL GOAL: ______________________________________________ TO DO LIST

PROGRESS

PLANS TO OVERCOME CHALLENGE AREA

DID I ACHIEVE MY GOAL: ( ) YES ( ) NO

OIKONOMIA 59

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FINANCES God we are living in times of recession for some, yet others are prospering beyond belief. What do you have to say to your people no matter what their financial, emotional, mental, or spiritual state is? God: While sitting in a prison cell the apostle Paul wrote the answer to that question in Philippians 4: 6 & 12, “Do not be anxious about anything,(H) but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want”(NIV).

OIKONOMIA 61

Getting your Finances in Order: 3 Facts about Money from the Bible By Ozeme J Bonnette

ay in and day out, we are constantly thinking about money. We wake up almost every day to go to work to make money to pay bills and to maintain a comfortable standard of living. We think about retirement, and our ability to save for it. We consider whether making changes to our savings strategies, such as converting a traditional IRA to a Roth IRA, can make life better. Money, or the lack of it, can cause a lot of problems and stress. However, if your finances are properly managed, your life can be more enjoyable, even if you are not making a big salary. Your finances need to be put in the proper perspective. As a Christian, it is important to understand what the Bible says about money. There are over 2,000 verses in the Bible that talk about money. It is the second most talked-about topic in the Bible. (Love is the first.) Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s look at three facts that will challenge you to further explore your perception of your finances. These concepts will help you move into a more peaceful frame of mind when it comes to thinking about money.

62â&#x20AC;&#x192;OIKONOMIA

Everything belongs to God Before we can even begin to discuss what you have and how you use it, we need to understand that everything we own really belongs to God. This is mentioned several times in the Bible - examples can be found in Deuteronomy 10:14, Psalm 24:1, and 1 Chronicles 29:11. While we may (or may not) have lots of material possessions right now, they are only temporary. You can’t take them with you when you leave this world. We should avoid getting attached to the things of this world because we are only borrowing them. This didn’t hit home for me until my car was stolen. I had a lot of personal belongings in it that night and was devastated when I found them all gone. But I honestly could not tell you half of the things that were in the car. In fact, my life has not been significantly changed by not having most of the things that are now gone. Once I understood that these things are only temporary, my mind was at ease.

The Lord is in control In Isaiah 55:8-9, the Lord tells us that His plans are bigger than ours and that His plans for us are beyond our comprehension. We need to focus on allowing God to be in control of everything, including our money, so that He can work through us to improve not only our lives, but also the lives of those around us. This is confirmed in Romans 8:28.

The Lord will take care of you If you seek God’s Kingdom first, He will provide for your every need. You can read about it in Psalm 34:10, Matthew 6:31-33, and Philippians 4:19. We need to use the skills and abilities that the Lord gives us (Exodus 36:1-2). It is the Lord who decides whether we succeed or fail (Psalm 75:7). Although you may experience some hardships along the way, don’t feel that your efforts to follow the Lord are in vain. Remember what happened to Joseph. His brothers sold him into slavery in Egypt, but he became a powerful ruler in Pharaoh’s household. God put Joseph through some tough circumstances in order to save His people (see Genesis 39:2-5 and 45:4-8). Going back to the car theft I mentioned earlier, God blessed me to replace the things that were most important to my life, and I got a cleaner, more reliable means of transportation. I don’t even miss the rest of that «stuff.»

Let’s reflect on our own behavior and determine whether our actions have been in line with what God wants for our lives. If you feel that there is more that you could be doing, make a commitment to yourself, between you and God, to realize that your possessions are only on loan from God and to put forth an effort to move out of the driver’s seat so that God can be in control. Allow God the opportunity to take care of you and to work wonders in your life. Once you let go, your life will never be the same.

zeme J. Bonnette

is a financial coach, speaker, and author. She began her career at Merrill Lynch, and now works to increase financial literacy. She teaches and speaks to groups and organizations throughout the U.S. She earned 3 Bachelor’s degrees at Fresno State and an MBA at UCLA’s Anderson School. She blogs at http://www.povertynorriches.com. Send questions and comments to ozeme@ thechristianmoneycoach.com. OIKONOMIA 63

Peace in the midst of a storm Wayne Dean

he final breath has been taken, the spirit has departed from the body (We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.2 Corinthians 5:8 KJV). The family now has to start the process of the funeral arraignments which is stressful in and of itself; and there can be added pressure when there is not adequate resources or knowledge of how to properly take care of such a delicate and personal matter for so many. 64窶グIKONOMIA

Protecting your family Having life insurance is not enough, it’s extremely important to have the right type of insurance as well as enough coverage to handle all of the surviving families needs. There are multiple types of life insurance policies in the market today, and when choosing one you must take your personal situation into consideration, as well as what you are trying to accomplish. Are you in good health if not maybe you need to consider a policy that does not require a medical exam, do you have small children and a limited budget then maybe a low cost level term policy is right for you? Life insurance is not for investment purposes, it’s not so you (the insured) can have money for retirement, nor is it just for a funeral service. The purpose of life insurance is income replacement, or as it says in the word of God. (A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous Proverbs 13:22KJV.) Many experts recommend that you have 5-10 times your annual salary in Life insurance coverage; this way there is an opportunity to leave enough money to replace your income as well as deal with any debt that exists.

Having things in order It is extremely important someone other than the insured knows where all policies (and other important documents) are located and the amount of the policies, preferably the beneficiary since that is who the insurance company will talk with. It is at this time that things can get chaotic. A good way to handle everything with minimal confusion is to gather all policies and find the company’s toll free number, proceed to call the company providing the policy number and asking if the policy is active. This is also a good time to disclose that the insured has died, as well as verify the amount of the policy. The insurance company will take some basic information and send the beneficiary a claim form to fill out and return.

During your initial conversation the funeral home may ask if you have insurance, at this time you can give them the name and phone number of the insurance company you will use to pay for the funeral. They will call and verify that there is a valid policy on the deceased; the insurance company should not tell them the amount of the policy. Once you agree to the cost of the service the funeral home will call and verify if the policy is enough to pay for the funeral. Even though the Funeral home is there to help they are a business and their first objective is how they are going to be paid! This is important because there is no reason for you to tell the Funeral home the total value of your policy, as long as there is enough to cover the cost of the service.

Saving Grace A funeral service is not for the deceased; they are not aware of what’s going on. It may be wise to think twice about putting a lot of money into a funeral, especially if the family could use the money for other things such as paying bills, sending the children to college, having money for retirement, or a well needed vacation. Other than being a comforting (yet stressful) ritual for the family, a funeral can be and in a lot of cases is an excellent opportunity to give people who don’t know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior a chance to give their lives to Christ. In some cases people who haven’t been too church for years will attend the funeral of a loved one giving them an opportunity to hear the one thing that God wants us all to know which is he loves us no matter what (For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life John 3:16 KJV). All anyone need is an opportunity to tell Jesus that they love him back in spite of their sins; for the word of God says that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9(KJV) OIKONOMIA 65

No money does not control me – but it has and I fell prey to the lust of it, the misuse of it, the poor stewardship of it. But, there are some biblical strategies that bring order to any and every financial dilemma. I choose to find the strategies that are going to help me…

66 OIKONOMIA

GOALS, TO Dos, ASSESSMENTS GOAL AREA: FINANCES DATE RANGE: _______________________ OVERALL GOAL: ______________________________________________ TO DO LIST

PROGRESS

PLANS TO OVERCOME CHALLENGE AREA

DID I ACHIEVE MY GOAL: ( ) YES ( ) NO

OIKONOMIA 67

ENJOYMENT God when it comes to worshiping you with song and dance there are many opinions, some believe that contemporary dance and music has no place in the church. Should your children who are serving you with a pure heart be concerned with the opinions of others? God: While transporting the Ark of the Convent David experienced different types of emotions: joy, anger, fear, and resentment and yet he still worshiped God with his dance in spite of what others thought. I would suggest that you read 2 Samuel: 6 to see how to deal with praising me with your song and dance in spite of what others say.

68窶グIKONOMIA

Spiritual

A Getaway to Recharge, Renew and Become Whole Again

scaping the cares of life is often not an easy task. Finding a quiet place to escape unpaid bills, family problems, work challenges and health issues can at times seem impossible. Even Jesus needed quiet time to withdraw to a solitary place to be alone with God and pray (Mark 1:35). This year make plans to bring balance and purpose back into your life by taking a spiritual sabbatical. Typically practiced by educators and religious leaders, a sabbatical is a rest from work and usually occurs every seventh year. However with the recent turn in the economy and the massive loss of jobs many have been forced into an unsolicited time to reflect and re-examine the direction of their lives. Whether you take a sabbatical at home or away, carefully mapping out a plan can help to make the most of your time for spiritual renewal. Grab a journal and begin to sketch out a blueprint. Each segment of the journey should fit neatly together to create the perfect environment for quiet time with Jesus. Begin planning early; it is important that you take

the necessary steps to experiencing God on another level. Make arrangements for a babysitter and/or pet sitter; this is your time to focus on tapping into your spiritual life line. Establish a goal; decide what you want to get out of your time with the Lord. Determine why you need a sabbatical and what is required to carryout your plans. Do some soul-searching to determine what it is that you want to do: take a class, tour the Holy Land or simply get closer to God. Assess your budget and decide whether or not you can travel to a remote, tranquil location or create a quiet oasis at home. Use your sabbatical for a positive, spiritual experience. Laying the building blocks is sure to strengthen your spiritual foundation. “Whether you have carved out a niche in your home or have the option of traveling to a secluded location, finding a quiet spot away from the distractions of the world is ideal in making a spiritual connection with God,” says Minister Dorrine Jones of Dorrine Jones Ministries, Inc. in her book Selah Time. Based on her personal prayer life, Minister Jones birthed an OIKONOMIA 69

inspirational paperback and a musical CD entitled, Come Away that offers the spiritual tools that invite seekers into the presence of the Lord. Jones believes these tools are vitally important for the believer who desires to attain a deeper intimate relationship with God. Armed with the right tools, finding a tranquil location is just a few clicks away. Atop the majestic Georgia Mountains is Cedar Creek Cabins in Helen, GA. Turn in any direction and you experience God’s creative announcement. The inviting mountainview, the alluring ripples of the river create the perfect backdrop for some one-on-one time with God. For a few days you can settle into one of Cedar Creeks’ luxury cabins and enjoy a little piece of heaven on earth as you begin to seek God for guidance and direction. Want to experience God in a corporate setting, journey cross country to the SAT Sabbatical program at the School of Applied Theology in Oakland, CA. People in mid-life, from around the world, sometimes weary, confused but always hopeful join other brothers and sisters in Christ at the Sabbatical at SAT to revive their spirits and find new meaning for their lives. Your sabbatical experience is enriched by the mild climate and breath-taking scenery of the Berkeley/San Francisco Bay area. SAT offers spiritual direction, prayer groups, praise time and plenty of rest and reflection. Christians in mid-life are nurtured, refreshed and renewed. Nestled in a 19-acre enchanted forest in Westfield, MA, is Genesis Spiritual Life and Conference Center. This is the ideal setting for nature enthusiasts to become one with God and His awesome handy work. Sister Elizabeth Oleksak, the center’s Founder and gardener says that Genesis began as a home for unwed mothers. The secluded hideaway created the perfect 70 OIKONOMIA

setting for spiritual rebirth. “Genesis’ sense of healing and energy for the mind, body and soul make our retreat different from other retreat centers,” said Sister Elizabeth. “People leave with a sense of gratitude and hope and leave healing for others.” Genesis’ devotion to the land, sensitivity to atmosphere and carefully designed programs allow guests to experience God’s providential care. The staff is committed to designing and hosting programs that foster a holistic integration of mind, body and soul. You can reflect on life in a completely relaxed, unstructured setting. Genesis’ health-focused design allows for greater awareness of God, the creator. “Our visitors say they feel like they are coming home,” said Donna O’Connor programming coordinator for the center. Genesis prides itself on its’ efforts of hospitality. Sister Elizabeth says that most of their visitors spend up to nine months on their secluded grounds. While Genesis does not promote its community, people on this spiritual journey seem to naturally form community. “Our mission is hope and healing of earth,” said Sister Elizabeth. Genesis Spiritual Life and Conference Center was founded in 1976 by the Sisters of Providence of Holyoke, MA. The Sisters, who own the center, are a community of women with more than 100 years of service in the healing ministries. Don’t underestimate the value of spending time restoring and rejuvenating your spirit man. Spiritual sabbaticals are the perfect way free yourself of schedules and deadlines while you take advantage of some time alone with God in prayer and meditation. Right in your backyard are wonderful spiritual retreats, seminars and programs geared to get you back on track – body, mind and spirit.

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BIBLE-TEACHING-ABOUT.COM OIKONOMIA 71

Dive into These Pages and Pull Out Some

POWER LET IT GO: Forgive Others So You May Be Forgiven, Bishop T. D. Jakes/Atria Books T. D. Jakes, New York Times bestselling author and pastor to millions worldwide, challenges us to release ourselves and others from the crippling grudges and binding resentments that hold us back when we do not forgive others. “Forgiveness is a big idea and works best when invested into people who have the courage to grasp the seven-foot idea of what’s best for their future rather than the four-foot-high idea of recompense for what has happened in the past,” Jakes writes. Inspired by the Lord’s Prayer, Let It Go explores forgiveness as a life practice and offers specific and clear actions for readers who seek to apply it in every area of their lives— their marriages, their families, their friendships, and their business relationships.

Excerpt from Chapter 1

“S

everal years ago I was invited as a guest on Oprah to talk about sexual abuse. When I suggested that it is important that we move beyond just saying how bad the molester was to have committed such atrocious acts, to the larger (from my viewpoint) idea of showing the perpetrator how he can be forgiven and rehabilitated, people went wild. Some of the guests were far too angry to think beyond the height of the atrocities they had experienced. They used their anger like familiar blankets to warm them as a comfort from their trauma, never realizing how they were smothering their own futures. They couldn’t imagine that future perpetrators will 72 OIKONOMIA

never come forward as long as they believe they have no chance at forgiveness and rehabilitation. While the women who told their stories that day on the show had every justifiable reason to hate and be angry, the reality is the poison of unquenched anger doesn’t infect the perpetrator but only incarcerates the victim. Unforgiveness denies the victim the possibility of parole and leaves them stuck in the prison of what was, incarcerating them in their trauma and relinquishing the chance to escape beyond the pain. We have seen this truth about forgiveness played out on a larger scale. When angry, bruised women from South Africa screamed in outrage because of the horrible atrocities they had been exposed to from apartheid, Nelson Mandela and members of the African National Congress (ANC) knew that a small idea like revenge would destroy the far larger idea of national healing and survival for their country. If they focused only on the temporary desire for immediate justice and swift retribution and missed the far weightier need for a healthy, functional, inclusive government in the midst of a nation filled with the pain of its most recent maladies, their homeland would never have survived. The National Council of Provinces (NCOP) was developed to raise the bar by giving diplomatic immunity to sometimes undeserving people in order to protect the larger necessity of national survival. The big idea was forgiveness; the smaller idea, as justifiable as it might’ve been, was hatred, resentment, and revenge. South Africa survived because those at the helm chose the bigger idea of the good for all rather than the revenge of some. When Dr. King resisted the lure of his own anger and submitted to the larger idea of a nonviolent movement that was led and filled with justifiably angry people, he preserved the future and changed our world. Those with the smaller ideas of starting our own country, or shooting and killing the racist molesters who had abused our fathers and raped our mothers, would have appeased our human need for retribution while destroying our way of life. We survived because we dared to risk acting on the larger notion of forgiveness rather than acquiesce to the dwarfed ideas of revenge and retaliation. Consequently, the destruction that would have been the inevitable result of thinking too small was eclipsed by the hopes of men and women who dared to dream on a scale larger than they had ever seen. Like Native Americans relegated to a reservation where one could only be the chief of a small, governmentsanctioned area, many of us remain on the reservation rather than escaping into the much larger world of assimilation, inclusion, and acceptance. Simply stated, people who don’t forgive neutralize their own growth potential. They end up hopelessly entrapped by the repercussions of leadership that remains in a dwarfed context of thought, thereby missing the overarching need to transcend the immediate encumbrance. We must think beyond the reservation like so many Native Americans have done and move forward. When I write on blogs and Facebook, I am often astonished at Christians who never leave the reservation and can only see or think from their own Christian perspective rather than evaluating others from a broader perspective of overall ability. They sacrifice an excellent leader because he isn’t a Christian as they define it or limit the discussion to one or two issues at the expense of the bigger idea of how well a leader can lead the country. I shocked my church when I announced that I was far more interested in finding a surgeon who was great at operating than I was finding one who voted like I did on political issues or shared my ideas on faith. I explained to them that I’m more concerned about a surgeon’s track record in the arena of patient recovery success than I’m interested in interrogating him on his view of eschatological theology! I just want to know if he can do the job, not whether he teaches Sunday school at First Baptist!” OIKONOMIA 73

CHOOSE JOY: Because Happiness Isn’t Enough, Kay Warren/Fleming H. Revell Company Ever wonder why some people seem to experience joy in their daily lives--even in the tough times--and others can’t seem to find it no matter how hard they search? Is a joyfilled life really possible? The answer is yes; and it’s possible for every woman, no matter what her circumstances may be. In this inspiring book, Kay Warren teaches women what joy really is, where to find it, and how to choose it in the good times and the bad. With compassion and wisdom, she shows readers--even those who live with the constant companions of discouragement and depression--that true joy is deeper, richer, and more accessible than they might think. Perfect for small groups or individual reading, Choose Joy will empower women who feel like their emotions and well-being are at the mercy of others by helping them understand the life-giving truth that joy is within their grasp-every day.

An excerpt

ecause I grew up in a pastor’s home, went to a Christian college, married a pastor, became a Bible teacher, and co-wrote a book on systematic theology for the average Christian, you might naturally assume that I have my spiritual act totally together and have this joy “thing” mastered. I wish I could say that was an accurate assumption, but truthfully, I wrote this book because I don’t always have it all together! You and I share similar struggles and questions, and I need joy just as much as you do. Joy does not come easily to me; I’m definitely more of a glass-half-empty kind of gal. In fact, I’ve struggled with low-level depression as far back as I can remember. As a little girl I was emotionally intense—I cried easily, agonized over the pain others felt, and carried the weight of the world on my small shoulders. So I’m not talking to you about joy from the perspective of one of those deliriously happy, peppy people who never have a down day. Some days I’m thrilled just to survive! The Bible gives some commands that are extremely hard to understand and even harder to live out. One of the most difficult commands is to forgive our enemies. In light of the terrible cruelty and evil we can inflict on each other, this seems like asking an armchair athlete to climb Mt. Everest—impossible. The Bible also says not to worry about anything. Anything? Really? Many of us spend a good portion of every waking hour worried or anxious about something. How could God reasonably expect us not to worry? But to me, even harder than either of those two commands is the one found in James 1:2: “When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy” (NLT). Are you kidding me? When trouble comes my way, my first thoughts aren’t usually about experiencing great joy. My typical reaction is more along the lines of fear, panic, worry, and even hopelessness. At the very least, I reserve the right to gripe and moan about my troubles. Hardly an opportunity for great joy. It’s really because of my own struggles to live with joy that I began to explore why my experiences didn’t match up with Scripture. I studied the life of Jesus Christ and observed the way biblical characters such as King David; Mary, the mother of Jesus; the apostle Paul; and James, the half-brother of Jesus, reacted to trouble and sorrow and hard times. For instance, the apostle Paul wrote in Romans 5: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert to whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary— we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! 74 OIKONOMIA

(vv. 3–5 Message) I saw a Grand Canyon–sized gap between their lives and mine, and it began to bother me. It was clear that joy—even in pain—was something the biblical writers expected Christians to experience on a regular basis, but I wasn’t. Wondering what was different about their faith that allowed them to respond to their circumstances with joy launched me on an intensely personal search. Why was there a discrepancy between my experiences and theirs? I needed to know how to bridge the gigantic gap that was keeping me from living a joyful life. I’ll fill you in on what I’m learning as we go along, but let me jump to the conclusion of the search and tell you the bottom line: Joy is a choice. Nothing I will say in the rest of this book is more critical to the way you live out your years than that small sentence. Joy is a choice. The level of joy you experience is completely and totally up to you. It is not dependent on anyone else—what they do or don’t do, how they behave or don’t behave. Joy cannot be manipulated by the actions of puny human beings. It is not dependent on the amount of sadness or suffering or difficulties you endure. Joy cannot be held hostage to fear, pain, anger, disappointment, sadness, or grief. At the end of any given day, the amount of joy you experienced is the exact amount of joy you chose to experience. You, my friend, are in charge. The sooner you embrace this pivotal reality, the sooner you can begin to live a more joyful life.

Fabulous You Power Nuggets And The Morning Hour, E. Claudette Freeman/Pecan Tree Publishing In two journals wonderfully designed for summer personal introspection E. Claudette Freeman reminds us that between the obstacles, challenges, negativity and perplexities of daily living we can forget one very important fact - we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It was in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant that Freeman realized that the weight of life had become too much for the moment. Yet, an urging to take a couple of days off to rest and prayer, led her back to words she’d penned over the years. In those days of quiet, her own words would give her the release she needed to arise and move forward. From that wisdom came this journal that inspires you to write, release and arise. These journals are great for summer vacation retreats or encountering over a cup of hot tea.

An Excerpt from The Morning Hour HEY WORLD! I got up this morning! Yeah, me too, don’t know why – I told the Lord to take me on home Un unh, I said, these old baby brown eyes o’ mine opened up this morning And what does that mean – looking at more bills, looking at more lies, and looking at more foolishness OIKONOMIA 75

You ain’t hearing me, I maneuvered these big hips up outta my queen size bed this morning I heard you and so what, what’s so great about another day The fact that I can see it. The fact that I can taste it. The fact that I can touch it and it can touch me. The fact that I can hear you not wanting to be in it. I woke my old-happy-still living my life- gonna laugh-gonna cry-gonna shout sometime tail up this morning. Lawd ha’mercy! And so you woke up this morning, so did I. And I thank God that I did. And I pray that He wakes me up every day that He sees fit. And even if you won’t – I’ll thank Him for you too. I’m just saying… That’s the problem – you just saying … what I’m saying is I woke up, I opened up, I got up to a brand new brandnew and it’s all God for me. Lord I hope one day soon you wake up too! Until then pull your sad rag blanket over your head and quiet down, I got a morning I’ve never seen before calling my name.

I got an invitation to something wonderful this morning and it wasn’t a pity party – it is – instead, a praise affair:

Happy, edifying reading to you … 76 OIKONOMIA

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ith the stroke of His tongue, God’s creativity exploded throughout a universe void and without form. The darkness was His canvas and His spoken words were the paint brushes as God delicately began to create His masterpiece known as Earth. Later in the book of Genesis, God kneeled downed and scooped up a lump of clay and began molding and shaping the formless mass sculpting His greatest work of art; Man. God’s artistic expression is the truest and most pure example of worship. Simply put, worship is recognizing God for who He is and what better way to honor a God beaming with so much creativity then to use our talents to demonstrate the greatness of God. Every talent and all of our abilities belong to God and should be available for His use. Dancing, acting, painting, sculpting, creative writing and music are all artistic expressions to be used to worship our Creator. God desires to be worshipped with all your 78 OIKONOMIA

heart, all your soul, and all your strength (Deuteronomy 6: 5). He wants all of us not just bits and pieces. The scripture lets us know that, “thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” (Isaiah 26:3) Focusing on God and His goodness relieves us from the cares of this world and allows us to rest in the Lord and experience God on a more intimate level. This heightened awareness grants us access to a greater level of creativity and provides us with just a glimpse of life through the Creator’s lens. There is a new energy and creativity being birthed in ministries throughout the country. Churches around the world are beginning to present more innovative approaches to worship. Mime ministries are among the newest forms of this creative expression. Sheila Dorin and Jackie Dorin Stephenson members of the Cathedral of Faith Church of God in Christ in Atlanta, Georgia bring honor to the Father through the gift of mime. Also known as pantomime, mime is the art or technique of conveying emotions, actions, feelings, etc., by gestures without speech.

h t i w p i h s r o W s U s t t f i Le G e v i t a e r C r u O Behind the white mask of pantomime, Sheila and Jacquie are able to experience God in new and exciting ways. “Mime plays a huge role in my worship,” said Sheila. “Worship is an important aspect of mime as it is in any aspect of the Christian life style. Worship is more important than techniques. When we worship, God can teach us all of the techniques that we need to know. When we worship God and meditate on His message and purpose for the transformation of our souls and encouragement in the faith, choreographies themselves become clearer as we receive instructions directly from God as to how we should approach a particular mime.” These sisters of expressive movement say that this creative expression of worship is like any form of praise, “whether it is in song, the preached word, dance or mime we give God our all and eventually we are lost in the praise of lifting and exalting the most-high God through these powerful expressions of praise.” Once the praises go up a shower of blessings come down. Sheila and Jackie believe that every participant in the corporate worship service has a responsibility for creating a charged atmosphere of worship especially those individuals in the creative arts. “The responsibility of every person that ministers in Arts is to bring the word of God to life with great intensity and divine excellence! There is something about Arts

being part of worship that will take any worship service into a higher level than it can otherwise reach. One person truly ministering before the Lord (not before man) can take the entire congregation farther into His throne room, than they would otherwise have gone. “ For more than a decade, Sheila and Jackie have traveled the country sharing their non-traditional form of artistic expression, using fluid movement absent of words, with the masses. “We have been miming for over 13 years and we first recognized the gift, it was to express the feeling of giving God our all using movements as well as drama for others to feel and to see the languages of gratitude. To mime was not just a thing to do. But, through mime we were able to relay messages and to go out and to evangelize a way that hadn’t been done before.” Sheila and Jackie are using their creative gift to demonstrate true worship as well as how to become a true worshiper. The experience is life changing. “It gives me meaning and expression. I grow as I express my praise through ministering in mime. I grow and mature even further in the realm of praise when ministering in mime,” said Sheila. God has provided these creative art forms as a means of capturing the hearts of His people beyond the preached word. Worshiping through the creative arts is a testament to the anointing of creativity that exists among the body of believers and the importance of using these art forms as we pursue a higher level worship through the creative arts. OIKONOMIA 79

I love the Lord and He loves me, and so we enjoy this life together, by窶ｦ

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GOALS, TO Dos, ASSESSMENTS GOAL AREA: ENJOYMENT DATE RANGE: _______________________ OVERALL GOAL: ______________________________________________ TO DO LIST

PROGRESS

PLANS TO OVERCOME CHALLENGE AREA

DID I ACHIEVE MY GOAL: ( ) YES ( ) NO

OIKONOMIA 81

Father God, we come to you in the matchless, majestic and mighty name of Jesus the Christ, asking first for your forgiveness of our sins. We ask Lord God that you pardon us for the sin of poor stewardship in various areas of life. We seek your clarity, your focus, your organizational and operational wisdom in every area of our lives. Let us God learn to categorize and create in an orderly fashion just as you created the very earth which you have blessed us to be stewards of. Guide our thoughts, guide our goals, guide our actions so that we walk boldly into your divine purpose. Remind us, oh God, that you are not a God of confusion and divinity cannot thrive in disorder, thus we decree and declare God-ordained order into our health, finances, relationships, spirit, personal development and into our enjoyment of life. Have your way Lord. We submit to your perfect plan and order. It is in Jesus name and with His blood that we seal this prayer â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Amen!

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refrIgerate LeftoVers promptLy, and Keep tHe frIdge at 40ºf or BeLoW to sLoW BaCterIa groWtH.

CHILL

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T:10”

fresH BaCterIa CasseroLe. mmmm.

Keep your famILy safer from food poIsonIng Check your steps at foodsafety.gov

T:7”

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