Qerim raqi by Perikli Shuli

QERIM RAQI

The Orpheus s broken lyre POEMS

QERIM RAQI The Orp heu s s Broken lyre POEMS

Translator: Dritan Kardhashi W.P.S Literary Editor: Kristaq F. Shabani I.W.A, W.P.S Dritan Kardhashi, W.P.S Recensent: Aleksandra Shabani ( Majlinda ) U.P.L.I, W.P.S Art design: Dashamir Vraniçi Cover from: Gustave Moreau (1825-1898) Thracian Girl Carryng the Head of Orpheus 1865...

The book is prepared under the care of LNPSHA PEGASI ALBANIA

Cop yright Qerim Raqi 2011 e-mail: qera65@hotmail.com

Printed in the p ress of the Pu blishing H ou se Marin Barleti Tiranë 2

QERIM RAQI w as born in March 22, 1965 in DardhishtĂŤ of Obiliqi region (tod ay Kastriot). H e h a s s t u d ied A lb a n ia n Langu age and Literatu re at the P h y lo lo g ica l Fa cu lt y , in t h e University of Prishtina. H e has studied the research programme Cu ltu re and Com u nication in Halmstad of Sweeden. H e is a m em ber of LN PSH A PEGASI Albania. Works of the au thor: Blood in m y yearning, p oetic volu m e 2010, p u blish ed by p u blish in g p ress ERA Prishtina. The Orpheus s broken lyre is the p oet s second volu m e in English, p u blished by the p u blishing p ress Marin Barleti Tirana, 2011. *** The m ore the au thors grow , the m ore the absence of read ers is felt! This is not the case w ith Qerim Raqi. The p oetic volu m e Blood in m y yearning , althou gh it is his first book, strongly w itnesses that w e d eal w ith genu ine au thors... At the tim e of p rose, this p oet, carves stanzas w ith d ed ication, w hich, thou gh being sep arated into poetical cycles and poems, could be read as a modern p oetry, w hich inclu d es three existential ep ochs of the Albanian: before, d u ring and after w ar This is poetry where the feeling and the thought melt into inspired stanzas, which not often we have the chance to read . Dr. Sali BytyĂ§i 3

EFFORTS OF PIGEONS FORCED TO LEAVE CARRIED IN A WIDE SCOPE OF POETICS Opinion notes in the pegasi poetic journey By Kristaq F. Shabani I.W.A, W.P.S Configu red p rologu e Solitu d e com ing as a resu lt of her absence bringing to a shrinkage of the self universe and of the years which loose their shap es into a bu rsting yearning. Liveliness and m u rd er, nebu losity of tw o colored m em ories and their fainting into a strange nebu losity produce a tightening hand in the throat. With an artistic p aintbru sh fu ll of figu res the p oet falls into the net of black and white memories. 1. The poetic thinking of Raqi sketches potential natural elements, visits bursting soul geography The p oetic p sychology contains p u rging abilities in the human mind, in the luxuriance, joys, living shapes. In this relation You m e, w here the p oet falls sensitively, sland ers absence, shakes the tem p les of the nothing s w ord s, stabs vital cu ttings, m aking strange d iscovering; en ter s in t o a p r o cess of life p u r g a tio n of th e t w o p ossessives, bu t h e en cou n ters a d read of th in kin g impurity... A curtain that falls after many caustic sayings about 4

the absurd journey, where in the absurd theatre is played in the roles of the listeners in the romantics and braveries of the w orld , or in the relationship of the Orp hic lyre All this d ecanter jou rney is a w atering in the being transform ed into a toy in w hich the life of the em igrant p oet rolls the gam e throat in the head of the gam e his being and displays the acts a melodrama foretold by the masters and the accused by the narrator protagonist. The concern for the forgetfulness and the fabling over this building of forgetfulness, where the forgetfulness is asked to never forget. A d ynam ic, fabu lou s find ing to ask for the p eak of im p robability, bu t in the balancing of w hat is vital: m em ory to sym bolize forgetfu ln ess, w h ich shou ld never be forgotten. An interesting stru ctu re in r a is in g , co n t o u r in g , a n d r em em b e r in g t h e jo y o f forgetfu ln ess .in th e in itial p oin t of view of lack of reasoning this that we put forward above might look as a p h rasin g gam e, bu t in th e asp ect of reason in g it is accep table and sp eaks of the p oetic chronicle A p r o ce ss o f fo r g et fu ln es s o r a p r o ce ss o f r em em b er in g . A d ilem m a so lv ed b y t h e t h in k in g p u nctu ations Th e p rocess of forgetfu ln ess an d ap p ealin g for remembering flaming feelings create a contrasting tableau of a creation for the self Troy, but that this creates a name con n ection , an in n er relation sh ip a m on u m en t is erected in d ed ication of forgetfu ln ess a d eliberate d eath, w hich greens the leaving after a love affair

Th e p o et r y o f Ra q i sk et ch es p o t en t ia l n a t u r a l elem ents, d raw s bu rsting sou l geograp hy, w h ere the m asterfu l eyes, lan gu age, exu beran t d esire in terp ret, which highlights at the profuse cells, an exclamatory and groaning m em ory the p resence of a lyric w ith other new d im ensions, w here the earth rem ains static and the earth s circle is rep laced w ith a circle of the sp iritu al being, it is astou nd ing and is u sed m asterfu lly for the raise of the com p arative level. The figu re is p resent and gives figu rative m eaning to p oetry silence, fall, em p erors and all the good hop es germinate in the figurative source of the words. Often or in m ost cases the p oetry of Qerim takes beau tifu l natu ral and clim atic shap es, is filled w ith attractive climatic elements as we mentioned above, but w hat d istingu ishes it is the effect bringing of grand iosity and beauty. A very beautiful relationship of the presence of natu ral beau ty and the im p ortance of the im p ortant elem ents of the earth, w hich, never achieve to halt the impetus of circling. It is naturally displayed: the drawing of th e Cap e of th e Good H op e, figu rative d raw in g... absence halts the river, the fountain, asphyxiates, cuts off the presence of the so much favored flow for the streams. Beau tifu lly in this p resence or lack of presence: My love, you are going beyond lim its , the p rocess of hu m an breaks is d elivered figu red in the breaking of heart verticality and natu ralism is felt in the w aiting of the w inner of the p oetic p leasu re or its sp inner. Above all it is evalu ated In m any of the creations w hich have as an ou ter background the love the conditions are prepared for the d ates, breakings H eart breaking is not d iscerned , as it 6

d oes not p rod u ce flashes the chosen fable in the p oetry w hen hearts break is su p er d ynam ic. All in all the p oetic book Blood in m y yearning , of the author Qerim Raqi is a modern lyric of impression and reflection The poetry of Qerim is a poetry of transformation, a p o e t r y w h ich ca r r ie s excit in g co m p a r iso n s , irresp onsible in the figu rative m eaning. The p oetry is raised in the Orp hic sky in w hich the p oet w ith a clean th ou gh t flies em bod ied , d ou ble brained and w ith a resou nd ing Orp hic voice, bu t the Orp heu s s lyre is broken... he has taken w ith him the research, Eu ryd ice, Penelop e s im age, the d ou bt for the less im p ortan t breath in g w ith ou t th e Tw in sou l relyin g on th ese creation s su ch as: Th e Alp h abet of Patience, Sou l s alp habet, stolen chap ter of you r life, the narration to that that starts the p oetry to a sensu al p ath and in a way of writing in both directions, by reaching a p oint in w hich bu rning cannot be stop p ed , and not to com e ou t of th e sou l, w h ich is m altreated by th e occu p ied feeling, p arted w ith an action of a great reach of sacrifice, th e p oet is station ed an d p u zzles ov er figuratively for the way and the further walking. In all the p oetic book of Qerim Raqi Blood in m y yearning , of the au thor Qerim Raqi is a m od ern lyrics of impression and reflection, in which the spiritual feeling on the contrary of the classic w orks interp rets, bu t w ith d ed ications and creation of p oetic tableau s in Orp hic skies, in a u nreal fancied shift, bu t in p ainted events in earthly environm ent, in the real life filled w ith w illing and u nw illing p henom ena, bu t not d ictated by m ental lit...... as a resu lt of this m ethod u sed in the creation, the 7

reading begins and is outlined in presence with a thinking lit, brain lit, fabrication of thou ght and feeling. It m oves in t h e fo u r p o in t s a n d h o r iz o n s a n d is r e flect e d everyw here. The p oet raised on his feet contam p lates, despairs, and he is transformed into a chapter, into book p a g es, in to a b su r d ity , in to in existen ce, on ly to b e d iscovered by the lost Penelop e . 2. Appealing of the land abundance Retu rn, m y w hite p igeons.. the fulfilled theory of return for abundance In the second chap ter of the book you com e accross an ap eal by the p oet d irected to the Piegeons fed w ith blood and ru naw ay as a resu lt throw ing w ith stones which have already become red, blooded because of the ston es ... a n d en d in g in m a jor cu ck oos for ca p ita l punishments... the Pigeons left forced in yellow skies with their heads turned back... A journey of yearning,.... corvine caw for the leaving p igeons and their u nlu cky w and erings thou ghou t the w orld , by leavin g th e beau tifu l cage ; leavin g an d fain ting of the p iegons s song, their u nlu cky jou rney fainting of their whiteness because of moving far and their exhau stion,.. the p oet seeks the retu rn of the p igeons to fin d a th irsty exp ectation ... yearn in g of Bjesh këve të Nëmuna has reached to the major grade of expectaion... To be killed by a bu llet in ou r fatherland , Or to die here from yearning and burn down?

This p oem is a p eom of p igeon-ness, w hich em p ties the hemispheres of human brain in all that macabre story, all that stru gle of the p igeons to w in their freed om , all that hu m an sacrifice sym bolized p igeon-ness ... The appeal reaches the peak: The pigeons shou ld retu rn w ith their w hite color.. . In foreign land w e shall m ake the events of life and d eath, ou r tongu e w ill be tied becau se of yearning, and w ill choke u s, ... H om eric blind ness, sister s blind exp ectation,.... os a very insu p p ressible find ing. 3. D on t you stop the song, my son, dance upon my grave... A madonian discovening in some sumerized poems in the blood y lyrics, w here the p rince is the blood shed from sacrificing p lans ; strangely the eye of the p oet catches u nisons of H itler and Maltu s, op p osite thinkers n ow com in g close to each -oth er w ith ou t in sistin g to protect their thoughts , deliberate fusion, thus an amalgam of id eas that once fou ght each-other w ithou t hesitation, to take the throne... the legend breathes fire from the mouth... broken the wires which accpompanied with their notes the songs and reigning of the cu rse Ad em tightens the firm ness s w ires for an octave above to the blood s accord : Eh, the bad cough of autumn!... 9

Poeti protects the name and identity: may our name not burst like salt in the fire,... The p oet ad vices the other generation: Don t you cease the song, m y son, d ance u p on m y grave,... . Poetic hom age In the lyrics of the shed blood m assacred by the lit m ind s... the m ost inhu m an m asacres against a heroic people, who sought its freedom... by the means of a panpopular raising, gtrying to demontate the thirsty Empire of th e for ced b lood sh ed ..., th a t sou g h t to d estor t everything: the sp irit, the earth, the sky, the Su n, the Moon, the trad ition, the grass, the trees, the river, the stones, covering them with a mental and bodily garment of m assacre. .. by com p aring and m otivating the p oet brin gs th e m acabre p an oram as of bu rn in g, m acabre elem ination and loss of lives... in heroic shap es and in a sacrifice beyond limits. .. with the only major aim: Ribirth and not stepping on this unshameful and unprecedented w ay of blood shed ing. A blood y sim p hony... 4. Sketching and draw ing of the World s evil mouth Sketching and d raw ing of the World s evil mouth.... by fabricating gossips and tales... though transformations and articulated gestures: jud gment, parad oxes, d eath of w ord s, Jud as s kiss, presence of blood in thinking, the self ways sitting around the table and speaking and dialogue, the main question where to and where the start... the book in this last chap ter show s the p oet to be m atu re and 10

achievable to his aims. Necessarily, he must be cheered for the achievements in this book, w hich w ere synthesized w ith the above thinking notes, yet he know s that the p oetry is a genre w h ich seeks carv in g, figu r ation , elim in ation of th e n arration , breath in g w ith bron ch i, d eh yd ration an d elaboration. Highlighting of his poetry and my stationing in this book, his second book translated in English, is a beautiful stationing in this profile journey, which the poet Q er im Ra q i d eser v e th e h ig h lig h tin g a n d h e is a n a ssu m in g p oet in liter a tu r e w ith th e v olition th a t characterizes him and the burning desire.

Deep in the heart We all feel a powerful yearning. (Rabbi Seymour Siegel)

I. The SOUL S ALPHABET

THE YEARS WITHOUT YOU Years, u naw arely Consu m e them selves, enter Into the black hole. My u niverse shrinks Into a drop Solitude, The p ain s knife Enters into my bone, The claw s of you r absence, I am almost dying From yearning I Burst.

THE MEMORIES Alive Dead The m em ories com e Black, White, They walk through the fog; They watch me They know me, Suffers Catch me from the throat The rampant Horses, Withou t reins the p resses Of the years I fall Headless Into the m em ories net.

CLEANING Tod ay all the d ay I have tried to cancel To clean you From the u ntold , w ord s, ironies; I have tried to forgive your sentences From my mind, The nails nailed w ith black color, Fastened to the thoughts,... I have been trying all day and all night today, To erase som ething in you , To clean something within me The black memory and the icy fire, From my day and from your night, To sw allow u p th e w or d s a n d to sp eak of ou r silences..., I have been trying to play in the scene our roles, Drama Of ou r absu rd theatre alw ays a p rem iere Ou r end , To shake the fou nd ations of the tem p le The bastion of nothing, All the day I have been removing the stones, I have p laced som ething in the em p tiness And I have been trying to rem ove som ething from you, To rem ove som ething w ithin m e m y life Oh, how many things seem to be there, Horrible!... (Varberg February 2004) 16

THEATRIC PLAY Like a kicked ball My life rolled And entered into her life. She accepted it without hesitating And she transformed all my being Into a game Ten years of p lay

p lay And play:

N ow I becam e Orp heu s And then Romeo In the strange game Of m y Eu ryd ice, A p lay of p u p p ets And fascinating tales In the Absurd Theatre Of Love, Until the curtain lowered. (Varberg, 27 mars 2000)

PRELUDE OF FORGETFULNESS Eh, forgetfulness! now you can enter directly into forgetfu lness, you can step ou t of forgetfu lness speechless, I can start another school, To leaf the book of life attentively And to m em orize forgetfu lness w ell; There is nothing ou t of forgetfu lness N othing beyond loneliness I m u st live forgetfu lness And carrying the pain, I sit down on the threshold of disappointment, Waiting for hop e to em erge (Perhaps it will stretch the hand to me, Perhap s forgetfu lness d oes not forget m e). N ow w e m u st op en d oors, Wind ow s, break bones w ith ou r tongu es H ow shou ld w e cau se ou r forgetfu lness To grow old ?

TROY You are leaving I am dying Behind you r back The Egyp tian night engu lfs m e N ow you are falling, like Troy ... I shall fall after you, My love, Crow d s of sp id ers N etting the alienation s anthem Write black chap ters. You are leaving, falling, My Troy, A monument of forgetfulness, I am hymning You are leaving...

WHEN WE MAKE LOVE The earth does not rotate, We are circling The w orld Shrivels, shrinks in the moment Tim e - sp ace (In the small death Ou r eyes A Sun); We fly; Like Icaru s close to the su n And we do not burn In my forehead is written The remembrance of your groan You r tongu e d raw s Dirty maps in my mouth, The sou l s geograp hy w id ens At the level of cells, The p leasu re gets satisfaction, When w e m ake love.

IN YOUR EYES In you r eyes I have read more Than in the literature of the whole world, In you r sou l The wars of all the wars I have felt In you r silence, All the silences of the w orld H ave fallen, like em p erors In your word All the exp ectations

THE GEOGRAPHY OF ABSENCE You are erasing you rself from the m ap , m y love You are halting the river, You are closing the You are d igging the grou nd u nd er the feet, Ou r slip is m aking the bed , you are sinking the Cape of New Hope. you are erasing you rself from my map.... My love, you are ru nning riot, Beyond the m ou ntain you are slip p ing To the holes of the d isap p ointm ent Wond er are you taking, Are you taking my blood in the fountain, My love, You are erasing you rself From the map of our geography.

WHEN YOU BREAK HEARTS N ot a single noise is heared , the floor does not creak; when the hearts are broken, nothing creaks the breaking is p erform ed at a grave s silence, N o one rep roaches you , N or p aym ent is sou ght; When hearts break, N obod y collects the broken p ieces, We re not d iscu ssing asym m etry of the p ieces here, The crack generates from within. In the cells, som ething throu gh the veins exp lod es. Blood freezes instantly, becom es icy. Strange breaking The breaking from distance.

LIGHTING OF STANZA Is it I Or your breath That intoxicated My insp iration? Which is shaped by my stanza It is not me writing, I m ju st squ eezing, lighting My feeling. You Grow In my stanza These is no p lace for w ord s, You occu p y all the sp ace, The stanza catches fire. My stanza is burning, You r ard ou r the kiss w rite. The w ord d oes not obey m e, You are bu rning m e My stanza, The letters ... Will you bu rn m e com p letely? Is it I or you Who is writting My stanza?

EURYDICE Tod ay m y sky is an Orp heu s ... Knifes of yearning or fire in my mind? Eu ryd ice eternal exp loration, m y lyre Two thousand years of expectation, twenty years of the Penelop e s p atience, Fragm ents of d ays, m em ories ... There is something pertaining to Orpheus in my voice today... What s the im p ortance of breathing w ithou t you ? I have becom e an exhau sted voice, you r face before the gate, w here the realm s of d eath and life separate. to loose the cond ition, and face the god s; To learn the p atience s alp habet Tod ay you w ou ld have been here, m y p resence The nonexistence w ou ld not have existed , Cru cifixion in the d eath s sp ace tonight, My sky Orp heu s...

SOUL SALPHABET I m leaving you everything, m y love, H ere you are All of them: Sheets, book, p encil Days, Everything, That is written and you write to me, Take them and read in me, H ere s m y tongu e, Read the exhau sted letters, Of m y sou l, Read , m y love, The hieroglyp hs, m y alp habet, Wear the eyes of the truth Pu t them into you r heart, read p lainly From left to right, From right to left V e r t i c a l l y 26

Transform me into a cross-word, Mu ltip ly m y w ord tw o fold s And sou l, m y geom etry, I am a book page, a stolen chapter From you r face, you r eyes Here I am, totally yours Typ ed in signs, p archm ents, If you know how to read my soul And then ju d ge m e sp eechlessly..., Read , if you w ish, bu rn m y tongu e My alp habet the torn chap ter Of m y absu rd p rose And ju d ge m e....

ABSENCE I am still breathing out fire Your lust from my mouth, My tongu e flam e Is still steam ing, My skin bu rned By you r skin, You r voice is still bu m p ing u p against The heat s w alls, vibrations Were vibrating my ear, My eye is still keep ing you r im age Frozen, I am watching the remaining emptiness With you r eye, My sense acknow led ges Only you r arom a The u nrivalled arom a The brain?!!! The brain is in d eliriu m , You have become a phantom of my brain, The dream of my dream,... I am still steam ing, 28

Breathing ou t fire, m y love, My trauma In the epicenter of the absence!

TO FALL To fall, To fall Terribly, To fall To fall Despairingly, To fall Madly To fall F a ll, To raise again, Falling into The heights of Serafins To fall, To fall In love ...

II. COME BACK MY PIGEONS

YEARNINGSEMIGRATION One night, yearning was on its way to you With my eyes I watched it coming With its wings stretched, flying over Boundaries, Mountains ... When it entered, stealthy, At the groundsel of my house, When it em braced long exp ectations, The d ried tears in the cheeks, Kissing all w ith yearning, Plaintive; Then it slep t Quietly, Softly Like an infant In the morning, As how it was fighting with a stubborn policeman And w as being exp elled from the hou se s threshold Like the first hu m an beings from Parad ise. (Kristinehamn, January, 1994)

THE CUCCOO SBIRDS You w ere left Leftover of the world, Cuckoos, You rem ained w ithou t a nest, Wou nd ed cu ckoo s bird s, Withou t flu ttering, You w ill collap se, Until your return, Scattered throughout the world You w ere left, Cu ccoo s bird s...

COME BACK MY PIGEONS Fly m y p igeons, retu rn To you r eternal cage, Leave w ith su n light Leave with the song of my rooster Bleed you r w ings in the flight H ow m any years have p assed And I am dying deaf From the mad caw of the black ravens... H ow m any years have p assed and the song of m y p igeons now here... Who enticed you , w ho cajoled you , Who stired you r nest? O you blessed ones, leave With the quiet flight of the mountain, Bleed you r w ings w ith these Yellow Magp ies Which fly around through my sky, Com e, lu cky ones, retu rn To the p ath of m y blood ...

I d id n t know w hat to give you for breakfast And I gave you d rop s from m y blood I had nothing but blood for lunch. With m y blood I fed you end lessly And I kep t lau ghing like a child 35

Watching the ravens leaving. You left with the northern winds You m oved aw ay from the age-long bod y A squ ad of barbarians follow ed , bu rned And you left by silent night, All around foreign paths From the nebu las to the glaciers N ow here you saw Eld orad o, You flied over yellow skies Cold skies, Unfamiliar skies, *** Black w as you r flu ttering At the circles of Dante s sky-inferno. That night something cracked in the blood And the d ogs barks d id n t cease all the night, N ow the sky is becom ing yellow , m y p igeons, And the su n shrivels invisible in the nebu la, Som e black clou d s are w eighting on m y sku ll, The lim es shad ow the silence Dances with the ravens judges, Neither song, nor bird or word, In grou p s you r end less jou rney; god grew d eaf by the ravens caw Retu rn to the blood s p ath You cause your wings to bleed in the bleeding of the Sun, Retu rn o m y p igeons, 36

Find the blood s tracks At the crests of history, (The stones that hit you are there red) Retu rn to the blood s p ath, Fly over the BjeshkĂŤt e N em u na (The tragic nest of the two thousand year love) Com e back o m y p igeons, My gentle p igeons, My w hite p igeons, Becau se this sky is d ying from grief, Retu rn to you r color, O m y p igeons, Of m y blood .

WHEN I TRAVEL THROUGH THE HEART I feel burning, Sailing in silence Throu gh the sea of m y sou l Keaton s ship Drop s of yearning w aves of loneliness Are swallowing me, The w aves the blood y sea I d rip , The yearning is becom ing like an Orp heu s to m e, When When it travels In me Yearning through the heart In silence, When I travel, Along m y sou l, Through the heart, ... I keep burning from yearning Unconscionable I keep bu rning.

SHAKESPEREAN SONET OF END OF THE CENTURY Blood w ill cu rse u s, m ou rning covered u s, The sky w ill tw ist, and becom e black in the black weather The graves w ill be rise from ou r w ails, Like the H am let s p hantom , o God ! in foreign land we shall have our births and deaths, Our tongue will be tied up becoming a hitch, to choke us, Beyond the Kaaba Brid ge ou r bones w ill rem ain, Until we eat ourselves up, may it fail in our throat, Icy is the sun here, salty is the bread, The anxiety does not leave us in peace, the soul oozes us, When the name when our name will disappear, And ou r being w ill leave, The m u rd ered conscience bestrid es the d ilem m a. In ou r fatherland w e got killed in the battle by a bullet, Are we dying here, from yearning to burn out? (V채nersborg, October 1992)

REREADING IN ANTIQUITY Don t read H om er, sister, You know only to exp ect, exp ect blind ly Unfold the lost tim e, you becom e blind Enter into the blind world, Read blind ly H om er and believe, Everything by heart, sister, For Itaqu e, you see and feel god s gru d ges Steps in the long way Terribly trou blesom e And you blind H om er again, You know only to exp ect blind ly The return twenty years, a hundred years, alas, And nothing happens with me. You can consu m e you r exp ectation com p letely, For twenty years to fall snow in Itaque, And I, ten souls to change, sister, A hundred, And to loose the way again; H alf Od yssey alw ays in jou rney, o god . Sister, d on t read H om er...

DEATH IN SLEEP We shall d ie sleep ing In sleep w e shall d ie Withou t seeing the d ream Bear s sleep is nothing N or is the stone s silence We stretch ou r legs beyond the qu ilt of vanity We d o not snore or w e are not d eliriou s at sleep Or becom e d ru nk in the *Morp heu s s bosom We shall d ie sleep ing Without knowing whether is it night or day H orrible d eath To d ie sleep ing To be asleep Of N othing said Rilke

(September, 1993, Kristinehamn) * greek god of sleep

III. LYRICSWITH BLOOD

THE TAIL OF EUROPE IS BURNING Tail of Eu rop e is bu rning, The blood s are heating, the knives are sharp ening H anging on Bartolom eos necks The stabs in ou r bod ies like necklaces, o God , Manhood is transform ed into bestiality. H itler and Maltu s have becom e together. Bestrid ing the Troy s horse Tim e is stealing sm ile from u s, the sky Shadows of hyenas, is covered with grace The hour is knocking, the drums are beating. Who has ears, the bell d eafened u s, Ru sty sou nd , shaking of conscience, The anxiety of m ad ness vibrates, Firm ord er, m issile hook like evil Foreign shoe in ou r gard en, Is kicking my sun... My God, what dance are we involved in, Where am I leading to? Why should I leave my threshold, beyond the wall? Nothing is worthy, two hands for a head, My blood , forgive m e, if it boils tod ay To bu rn to heat at the boiling p oint, My blood , the antibod ies fall d ead ... The tail of Eu rop e is bu rning! 45

BLOOD SSYMPHONY When the dance of death Involves fatherland Prekazi, The Jashari tribe Write with The alp habet of resistance With hail of fire, Death becom es a lyric of blood In the two-stringed mandolin The w ires of p atience are broken, One of the w ires is accord ed in p ain, The other in p rid e, Blood rises on feet, The cracks crack on Jashari way At scores of the fatherland The ep ic m oves aw ay from the books, w ord s..., This su n shines greatly, bu t w arm s little Hamza sings, The stars d escend Into the bastion of Jashari The ep ic, Shaban him self, sits cross-legged ... The legend breathes fire And they enter directly in the pages of history: Ten, twelve, twenty two stars fall Du st in the fatherland s m ahogany The blood s p igeons, The ep ic on the w all 46

Takes the instrument of Hamza H alf bu rned the p ain s chord s break, One chord w ind ed in p rid e, The other broken in pain. Adem for an octave above Presses the chord s of resistance Of the blood s accord The song in fire, the death in fire, Teaching ou r conscience Write in fire w ith bu llets The resistance s alp habet And Jashari sing; When they die afoot, They d ie beau tifu lly, When they born they die, Singing The sym p hony of blood .

THE BAD COUGH AGAIN In the in the grey sky, in the grey landscape The d ogs beat ou r nam es behind ou r backs In the hectic skin, in the broken horn, Again a bad cough with the late autumn, The blood revolts, it begins to rise, Because a night, had slept for a century, Tears drip from the bone, the root in becoming numb The thirsty p op p y in herbariu m ; A beard ed fetu s d elivers, in the end of su m m er, Will d evou r the globe, like a grap e bu lb And the black raven flu tters its w ings over the d oor s threshold A live coat covered in the m id d le of the cind er with embers. Something is suffocating us in the root in the seed Let s p lace the rop e arou nd the p atience s neck, That our name might not explode like salt in the fire, That we might not to do harm to ourselves

(January, 1992)

DANCE UPON MY GRAVE When the storm, floods And the mad hurricane pass Don t you cease the song, m y son, Dance upon my grave, The leavings retu rn to the bu rned hou ses, In the dust of the burned books, In the p ieces of ou r bones Which remain burned Write the w ord Kosovo , m y son,... Dance upon my grave, When you m ake the p ieces together, ou r bones, It s not im p ortant w hether they are all, the p u lled eye Or the d etached sku ll, the u nd ershot jaw , Ru ined face, It is not important whether you find a head in Raçak Or the heart in Bajgorë, One leg in Likoshan and the hand s in Llau shë, Assemble them with care, Make them together like the ideal, like the fatherland, My son, dance upon my grave You can find m y sku ll everyw here Behind a bomb, at a corner beyond, You be carefu l! You m ight find m e into the w ells, 49

In the dust of the burned field You , o you living m an, keep p u rsu ing everyw here, The traces of barbarity are unredeemed In the black page of history.... Dance upon my grave!

THE FALLEN N ot a tear drop, N ot a p ain s w ord , N ot a m an s Or w om an s w ailing N ot a child s cry Don t you w ear in black, Not a crown, flower On ou r fresh land s su rface ou r bod y w et, We just enter into the depth Of this land, To carry it on ou r shou ld ers To not let it fall.

RAĂ&#x2021;AK The stream of Bebu shi d rains Albanian blood , The black hand of hatred has stabbed inoccent souls, The screams of slaughter are frozen With the frost of January, The frozen crystals remain silent By the knife of hatred, Masked anti humans The shadows have left the crime scene Dism em bered bod ies blood traces, Crucified cut heads, stabs in the throats, hearts taken ou t, half bod ies, The eyes of the d ead stare w ith the p u lled eyes In the forehead of the Eu rop ean civilization Med ievalism has stabbed behind the back With a barbarian Balkan tail, Blood , bleed ing leeching of snakes, The w orm s sm ell hoenycom bs the hill of Bebu shi, At the crystalline night of Janu ary RaĂ§ak rem ains silent Gathers the p ieces, assem bles the cu t head s, In silence eyes and heart taken out of the body Stand hid d en in the ed ge of the stream that d rip s Albanian blood , From p ain a boy s chest bu rsts, Mothers w ail stabs like the Rachel s cry The eyes of d eath stare at u s 52

The w eary looks assem ble, The w alker s eye slip s d ow n com es ou t of the sockets And looks at stabs Albanian blood and tears, The evid ence takes eyes, the looks com e ou t, The eyes of Kosovo, At th e w orld s ch an celleries th e looks of h orror penetrate Of the eyes of Albanian mothers (perhaps they meet at the museums with The eyes of the Rafael s Mad onna w hich bu rst Fall from the .... And enter into the empty holes Of the children of Raรงak.

CHILDREN OF FLAME They know nothing abou t Prom eteu s And they are half Prometeus They run to the gates of my burnt town Stubborn, poor they play the fire game, (time of fire is now) That s how life seem s to be like in flam es, The birth that s how d eath seem s to becom e in flam es Tim e steals from them the sm ile And they know nothing about Prometeus The w hole life in flam es, the d eath in flam es, Before the threshold of the hou se the sm ile freezes, The child ren escap e tim e, challenge the eld ers They hid e d eep ly in the lap of history They make guard to the night of the century...

THE HEADLESS TOWN A head less cu ckoo m y tow n rem ained The p rim e tow n w alking And roads, roads, roads, My town is getting cleansed with banishment, The road s w ith blood the alleys Walking, Walking, Walking The river of p eop le like ants Into the dead sea of leaving the horror flows The weight of banishment weighs on the iron wheels of the trains, The wheel of banishment moves about fast The machine of cleansing Perp etu al m otion, violence, p ain, Evacu ated , the tow n is leaving, the road s trem ble, Fragm ents of lives breaths in silence The accusation of the century against the civilization, Cries and throat cuts, knives behind the back, The little m an com es ou t p rostrating, A great flood ing, a bu rnt silence, O stone op en you r m ou th, the m ou th stone, The cry is calling, taken out of life, the crowd Walking on feet .... In silence my town, Headless, the heads without a town, Lifeless bod ies, bod iless lives cu t lim bs, 55

The sep arated road s, sep arated d estinies and the sp illed blood The choking child ren s cry and the Cheap fallen p rid e, N am eless crip p led m an, bu rning of the nam e The identity card torn photography of remembrance Of the name and surname morphology of pain, Birth d ate p lace of living d ate of d eath Becom e together, the m an becom es a figu re Mu ltip lied w ith him self and d ivid ed in squ are, The calculation cannot reach my Calcutta of pain, The cut heads in the cuckoo prime-town, Transform ed into feet silent w alking, Walking, w alking in m ou thless evacu ation The cuckoo prime town saw....

IV.DISTRUBED NIRVANA

MOUTH OF THE WORLD Now I shall become the mouth of the world, Teeth and tongu e w ill be broken The w ord seeks the tongu e fu ll of sp it The evil eye, Cold looks w ill stare at m e Icy ju d gm ents Now I will become a fairy tale In my absurd reality, The intrigu es w ill be constru cted In the evil mouths They w ill overstep the m ou th In the black painting with tongue And I must cry With silence, To chew the m ou ths of the w orld (February, 2006)

JUDGEMENTSDAY Is the Universe Expanding Or shrinking? The tim e sp ace In its cosmic egg Moves forward and backward In shrinking or expansion? With steps of crabs In ou r shell Or w ith the light s sp eed In d isp ersion? We shall all m eet In a boiling p oint In the black hole The Ju d gm ent s Day Is my Universe Exp and ing or Shrinking?

PARADOX Every d ay w e m u rd er love And w e call m u rd er love, Show ou r tongu es to ou rselves and others And we call defacement a kiss, We lock the feeling, And we swallow the lock up, We want to drink all the sea, And drain all the rivers, And w e p lace the ice in the m id d le of the feeling And we call the ice a fire We throw the seed at the tree s root And we interrupt the watering from the growth.

DEATH OF THE WORD The w ord d oes not fall like p eop le The w ord d oes not d eliver the sou l, Sometime we sqweze, the word Su p p ress it u ntil it d rip s blood . We sp it and p u sh, the sou l Take it out of the word, The w ord never slip s The w ord never d ies We throw stones to it, Catch it from the throat, knot it Then we chew it, beat it The word we want to eat until The word, word Remains in our throats....

JUDAH SKISS Take it H ere you are Behead the cheat, Behead the Pilate-s and Moses, Saw The nip s teeth Stab the betrayal, Give p oison To the bastard s of d enial, Throw the bones of betrayal To the d ogs, Behead the rampant Horses of Judah, Deafen the trot The raven s ghast Of Allan Poe, The inflamed sky the burned earth Throw the seed breastfeed and feed w ith blood The p igeons p elicans, Or becom e Phoenixes Of blood .

BLOOD IN MY THOUGHT My thou ght d rip s blood , My thought is crying The thought The m em ories have becom e a heavy bu rd en I m bathing in the red Sea of the absu rd , H eavy like a bu llet the thou ght is d rip p ing, Dead black thou ghts, fatigu es tied w ith With mortifications, the feelings are twisted, The bad flow ers of rem em brance seem like yellow soldiers, When my thought is crying, when it drips blood.

PRISHTINA Like ants the p eop le the road s Throu ghou t the cap ital, An ant my world A hole in the ru g the shap eless life Lost into the m ap s lines Of m y geograp hy step on p ain The yesterd ay s barrels sp it Buzzing of uniforms in the streets; My history em erges in ou tp ou ring of m em ories, Disp laying the tongu e to the p eacekeep ers gu nners, A negro has embraced an Albanian blonde. Kad are takes Sena from the N ile s breast Hands the White Drini to the Nile..., I walk Everyday In the same dusty roads, Everyd ay the sam e sid ew alks, A m orning s m acchiato w akes u p at Ed i, Italian lu nch at the m artyrs p ark With the p olished shoes d u st of com p etition, The bicycle s w heel before ou r noses, Taxi vans before ou r feet invite u s To sit in crow d s fu ll of p ins, there is no p lace The voice of a p oor singer bites the ears, This is m y p ostw ar w orld . Microscop e in the p rim e-tow n, 65

Man is not sure whether to laugh or to cry, The doors of the national theatre remain open The actors wait for the tragedy to happen Or the com ed y to enter violently... The u np erform ed p ieces of d ram as com e ou t of the theatre, Becket sits on the blad e of his absu rd And waits for nothing....

THE POETRY A heavy stone, In the edifice of the words Like bu llets Light like feather That flies Easily, A heavy and light Word Simultaneously, A dream That narrates The reality, A song that H as its m elod y; A symphony Very clear, Rather incom p rehensible, A magic, A flying feeling A free bird 67

In the sky of metaphor, A turbulent wave In the sea of meanings Ocean.

MY WAYS I have assem bled all m y w ays In my separation around me, As if around a table we have sat, My ways and I..., I speak; I ask them, they ask me About my great path: Wond er, here w ill they lead m e to? (In p arenthesis I have put The ways of my life). Cross legged w e are sitting I and my ways, We d iscu ss to feed it And we laugh and cry together Like child ren, Around the table of fate Grief or expectation..., I have assem bled all m y w ays, Like p igeons in one hand , I ask them, they ask me, About my untaken way For the prime way. (Varberg February, 2006) 69

CONTENTS Efforts of p igeons forced to leave .................................... 4 carried in a w id e scop e of p oetics .................................... 4 I.THE SOUL S ALPHABET .......................................... 13 THE YEARS WITHOUT YOU .......................................14 TH E MEMORIES .............................................................. 15 CLEANING ........................................................................ 16 THEATRIC PLAY .............................................................17 PRELUDE OF FORGETFULN ESS ................................. 18 TROY ..................................................................................19 WH EN WE MAKE LOVE ............................................... 20 IN YOUR EYES .................................................................21 THE GEOGRAPHY OF ABSENCE ................................22 WHEN YOU BREAK HEARTS ......................................23 LIGHTING OF STANZA .................................................24 EURYDICE .........................................................................25 SOUL S ALPH ABET ......................................................... 26 ABSENCE ...........................................................................28 TO FALL ............................................................................ 29 II. COME BACK MY PIGEONS .................................. 31 YEARN IN G S EMIGRATION ......................................... 33 TH E CUCCOO S BIRDS................................................... 34 COME BACK MY PIGEONS ..........................................35 WHEN I TRAVEL THROUGH THE HEART .............. 38 SHAKESPEREAN SONET OF END OF TH E CEN TURY .......................................................... 39 REREADING IN ANTIQUITY ........................................40 71

DEATH IN SLEEP ............................................................41 III. LYRICS WITH BLOOD ........................................... 43 THE TAIL OF EUROPE IS BURNING ..........................45 BLOOD S SYMPH ON Y ................................................... 46 THE BAD COUGH AGAIN .............................................48 DANCE UPON MY GRAVE ...........................................49 THE FALLEN ...................................................................51 RAÇAK ...............................................................................52 CHILDREN OF FLAME ..................................................54 THE HEADLESS TOWN .................................................55 IV.DISTRUBED NIRVANA ..........................................57 MOUTH OF TH E WORLD ............................................. 59 JUDGEMEN T S DAY........................................................ 60 PARADOX ......................................................................... 61 DEATH OF THE WORD .................................................62 JUDAH S KISS ................................................................... 63 BLOOD IN MY THOUGHT ............................................64 PRISHTINA .......................................................................65 TH E POETRY.................................................................... 67 MY WAYS .......................................................................... 69