The Dr. Seuss Issue

Vol. 47 no. 5 •January 9, 2013

2 the plumber’s FAUCET the plumber’s Masthead Yertle the Turtle Daniel Dicaire Who’s down in Who-ville David Bailey Amanda dos Santos Jake Care Asa Davis Photo-Frame-Fillers Maxime Whaite (cover) David Bailey Daniel Dicaire

Letter from the Editor Welcome back to McGill!

It’s a Pleasure of sorts Don’t tell me you’re ill Or your break was too short

I’ve heard it before, The whines! The gripes ! The grumbles!

And now you’re back waiting, for sun and heat, and bees that bumble Well I’m here to support you if it’s solice you seek, The good times will continue If you just join E-Week!

Disclaimer The Plumber’s Faucet is a Publication of the Engineering Undergraduate Society of McGill University. The opinions expressed in the Faucet are not necessarily those of the EUS nor of any other university body, unless such opinion appears over an authorized signature of a representative of the said body. The Faucet does not print works which are sexist, libelous, racist, homophobic, or violating the copyright laws of Canada. It should be noted that some content is meant to be satirical or humourous in nature.

For general enquiries, contact faucet@mcgilleus.ca.

Complaints The EUS takes complaints very seriously. All complaints should begin with the heading “Official Protest to Content in The Plumber’s Faucet”, and should be sent to vpcomm@mcgilleus.ca, publications.director@mcgilleus.ca, and faucet@ mcgilleus.ca. the plumber’s FAUCET vol. 47 no. 5 Wednesday, January 9th , 2013

If you saw our cover, that’s Horton, it’s true he came with us, cause it’s time that’s well spent join each night and he’ll remember you This elephant’s wasted 100 percent Thing One and Thing Two, That’s shot and the chaser Are sure to join the brew But be careful what you do, It’s a memory eraser Dozens of people railing to let loose This is a party of drink, rink, and Seuss With busses and fusses and liqours of choice With E-Weeks return, all can rejoice!

-DD

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Choose Your Own McGill Adventure

by Jake Care While reading The Plumber’s Faucet you realize the article is an interactive story! Now you have the opportunity to experience McGill life from the pages of a magazine. Make your choices, and read the sections corresponding to the number of your choice. Also get a pencil so you can note down some key words on a scrap of paper.

1: You’re at your rez. There are some overly loud people day-drinking in the hall, while some anti-socials are locked in their rooms.

(Leave? 2) (Stay in your room? 4) (Drink? 3. Can only do this if you have “Beer” written on your paper already) 2: You walk to the Milton gates, which surprisingly seems like more of a focal point of university activity than the Roddick gates. (Go to your rez? 1) (Go to the corner store?

5) (Go the center of campus? 6) (Go down to RVC caf? 7) (Go up to Upper Rez? 8) 3: You end up drinking too much and then… some stuff happens and you wake up in a ditch somewhere, naked, with no memory of what happened last night. You can be pretty sure you had lots of fun though!

Note down “Wasted” (Go to 13) 4: The room is silent and lonely. If you wrote down “Class Notes” earlier, then you get your overly expensive textbooks out and read the boring material before doing some work on your laptop. Of course either way you end up looking at Facebook, then some silly games, then just weird shit on the internet. Congratulations; you have no life. Write down “Study”. (Go to 13)

5: The corner store is filled with cheap foods, magazines, and best of all: beer. Sadly they don’t sell harder alcohol here, but the beer will do.

You spend your tiny student budget on beer or cheap food, In any case you end up leaving even poorer than when you got here. Note down either “Beer” or “Food”. (go to 2) 6: You are in the grand center of McGill in all its splendor! A plethora of options is open to you, young student. (Go to the Milton gates? 2) (Go to a class? 9) (Study in a library?

4) (Leave through the Roddick gates? 10) (Drink at Gerts? 3) 7: The RVC caf is nice, as far as cafeterias go, though overpriced.

If you want you may enjoy a $15 non-gourmet meal, and note down “Food”. Otherwise you’d best be on your way. (Go up to the Milton gates? 2) (Go into town? 10) 8: You drag yourself up the hill to Upper Rez. Unless you want to do sports, being here is pointless. There isn’t even a good view from here.

(Go to your rez? 1) (To the gym? 11) (Go to the Milton gates? 2)

3

9: You sit in a large lecture hall.

The lecture has maybe one or two interesting things, which you write down, but then becomes boring once more. You tune in and out of the lecture until it’s finally over. You weave through other students trying to get out the doors. Write down “Class Notes”. (Go outside? 6) (Go to Gerts or Blues Pub? 3) (Take a tunnel to a library? 4) 10: You walk through downtown Montreal and inevitably end up on Rue Ste Catherine. (Go back to McGill? 6) (Go to a club/bar? 3) (Go to a restaurant? 12) 11: The gym is alright, however there are many people there who are much more fit than you are, making you feel bad about your body. You go out onto the field and play some Quidditch, which is fun. Note down “Sweaty” (Time to leave. 2) 12: Oh my gosh! The food here isn’t cafeteria food, and it’s reasonably priced! Well, at least compared to the McGill cafs - this is still Montreal. Note down “Food”. (Wipe your mouth and leave. 10) 13: And so concludes another day at McGill. Look at the chart to see what the words you have written, or haven’t written, mean.

Check here after your adventure: If you didn’t write: “Study” “Sweaty” “Food”

It means that: You fail your classes You become fat and ugly You starve to death

If you wrote: “Study” “Wasted”

It means that: You have no friends You had fun!

4 the plumber’s FAUCET

From the Plumber’s Pot -For E-Week, 1971 Once again, we bring you another sample from the Plumber’s Pot, that McGill engineering publication from the days of yore. It used to regularly shock McGill students with its controversial content before it finally went too far in 1989 and got banned from campus.

Among all the nudity and politically incorrect articles, the Pot would also report on current events at McGill. This included E-Week, which apparantly has been around since at least the seventies. Here is some of its coverage of the the 1971 E-Week, which you can see has changed a lot over the years. I wish beer was still 25 cents...

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5

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6 the plumber’s FAUCET

Sex, Drugs, and Intrigue: An Unauthorized Biography of Dr. Seuss

by Liquid Giggles One of the most fascinating figures of our era is a man of literary genius, extraordinary rhyming ability, and unrivalled originality.

This is someone who has inspired a generation with tales which exercise the imagination and inspire young minds. An individual who has turned heads with his stunning good looks, chic fashion sense, and generally suave bearing.

But enough about me – today I shall be talking about a similarly intriguing individual named Theodor Seuss Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss. I am currently writing from a remote farm in Ontario to avoid the authorities, so I do not have access to the internet for research. However, at the Faucet we prefer to do things the old-fashioned way and make educated guesses as to how history played out. Dr. Seuss was a giant of imagination, so he would have wanted it that way.

Contrary to popular belief, Dr. Seuss was not born in

Springfield, Massachusetts, but was actually born 1922 in Dusseldorf, Germany. After the Germans lost WWI, they started a program to conquer the world by the pen rather than the sword. The Germans placed one thousand monkeys in a room with one thousand typewriters and a young Queen’s student named Gustav Geisel. The idea was that if a thousand monkeys with typewriters can produce a literary masterpiece, then they can also produce a literary master.

“Look up look down, your pants are falling down,” as well as the script of just about every Adam Sandler movie.

Nine months later, the chimpanzees produced the entire works of Shakespeare (which was pretty pointless since they had already been written) along with a baby boy, who was named Theodor Seuss Geisel. The experiment proved to be wildly successful, for by the age of three, Theodor had already written such well-known pieces as “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells,”

Seuss couldn’t stand all that dark stuff, so he fled Germany for Russia at the age of twelve. These were the early days of communist Russia when the government had control of the economy but didn’t really have a good way to decide who got what job. Therefore, they resorted to ancient Russian custom and allotted positions by vodka chug-offs. Since Seuss was only a twelve year-old,

Soon the Germans started demanding that Seuss work on darker, more mature works – the type that would make British and American readers put on their scarves and flood the cafes where they would ruminate on the mysteries of life while sipping grande mocha lattes and effectively becoming useless for fighting off invasions.

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7

he had neither the experience nor body mass to drink himself into the upper echelons of power, but he was nevertheless an aspiring young alcoholic and was able to drink himself into a nice medical practice, which is why he became known as “Dr. Seuss”.

Seuss did relatively well – his patients usually left with most of their limbs, and no more than a couple more diseases than they had arrived with – but he longed for the life of a writer. He began publishing for the Communist Party, coming up with such pieces as “The Grinch who Stole from the Proletariat” and “Red Eggs and Vodka”. This was not fulfilling enough though, and Seuss longed for the greater free speech of America. In 1939 he escaped Russia with a group of freedomloving prostitutes who felt violated by the price-fixing schemes of the communist government.

After a long voyage, Seuss eventually arrived in the U.S., where he settled in Springfield, Massachusetts. The war was just starting up around then, and since Seuss only had a few Russian rubles to his name, he decided to seek employment as a war profiteer. Using his medical degree, he got a job in the army’s medical core managing the requisition of medical supplies.

He made sure to requisition a more than ample supply rubbing alcohol, the excess of which he either sold for a profit or drank himself.

Seuss maintained a constant state of inebriation during and after the war, never allowing himself to sober up. In his drunkeness, he would become melencholy thinking about his dream to be a writer, so he

would scribble down nonsense, half in illegible German, then send it off to Random House Publishers. He would usually regret these primitive drunk texts, but fortunately for him the editors at Random House interpreted the German words as intentionally silly nonsense words, and felt that the aimless ramblings of Seuss actually made good children’s tales.

And so it came to pass that Seuss, an alcohol-addled quack, became the most famous children’s author on Earth, and quickly accumulated more money that Gandhi, Fidel Castro, and Peewee Herman combined. With his newfound wealth he had enough money to be able to regularly visit the “Velvet Touch Massage Parlour” and the “Happy Endings Massage House”, which led to the birth of his illegitimate children, Theodor Geisel the Second and Theodora Geisel (who have been causing trouble with the E-Week trophy recently).

In 1975, after being drunk continuously for 32 years and producing all the stories he is famous for, Seuss finally blacked out. He was sober when he woke up in 1977, and decided that the only way to escape the millions of dollars in public inebriation, rowdiness, and urination fines he had accumulated

during his binge would be to leave the country.

Seuss moved to Guatemala where he started a quaint B&B&B (Bed & Breakfast & Brothel) and had fourteen children. He became quite eccentric in his old age, doing strange things like tattooing stars onto the bellies of birds, stealing presents from children, and dying his food silly colours and eating it in a box with a fox. In 1989 he passed away after a tower of 127 turtle shells collapsed on top of him and broke his back.

Thus came an end to the life of Theodor Seuss Geisel. I suppose the best way to summarize it is Seussian form:

And that is the story of old Dr. Seuss.

Kids were his audience, and booze was his muse.

He’d drink and drink until his drinker was sore, Then he’d write up a story and drink up some more.

He overcame came all his literary hurdles, And finally found peace under a pile of turtles.

8 the plumber’s FAUCET

How the Prof Stole E-Week

by Daniel Dicaire

Every Who at McGill liked parties a lot...

But the Prof, who lived just North of McGill, Did NOT! The Prof hated Parties! The whole festive season!

Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be that his bed wasn’t quiet at night.

It could be, perhaps, that he doesn’t like vodka and Sprite,.

But I think that the most likely reason of all May have been that his liver was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his naps or his booze, He stood there each E-week, hating the Whos, “They’re polishing their hard hats!” he snarled with a sneer.

“Tomorrow is E-Week! It’s practically here!”

Then he growled, with his Prof fingers nervously drumming, “I MUST find a way to keep E-Week from coming!”

“Why for ninety-three years I’ve put up with it now!

I MUST stop E-week from coming! ...But HOW?” Then he got an idea!

An awful idea!

THE PROF GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! “I know just what to do!”The Prof Laughed in his throat.

And he made a quick PPO hard hat and coat.

And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Profy trick!

“With this coat and this hat, I’ll look just like those pricks!”

Then he loaded some bags, And some old empty sacks On a ramshakle sleigh And he hitched up his slacks.

Then the Prof said, “Giddyap!”

And the sleigh started down Toward the homes where the Whos

Lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.

All the Whos were all dreaming wet dreams without care When he came to the first house in the square.

“This is stop number one,” The old Profy Claus hissed And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney. And then the Prof Scoffed.

But if Santa could do it, then so could the Prof.

He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.

Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.

There the little Who bottles all sat in a row.

“These liquors,” he grinned, “are the first things to go!”

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,

Around the whole room, and he took all the booze present!

Vodka! And Fin du Monde! Sailor’s! Wine!

Beer bottles! That’s sixty-eight bottles! Nine!

And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Prof, very nimbly, Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos’ Brew!

He took the beer-bottles! He took the cans too!

He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.

Why, that Prof even threw their stacks of cups in the trash!

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9

So he paused. And the Prof put a hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.

It started out low. Then it started to grow...

But the sound wasn’t sad!

Why, this sound sounded merry!

It couldn’t be so!

The store had a discount on bottles of Jerry!

He stared down at Who-ville!

The Prof popped his eyes!

Then he shook!

What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Then he stuffed all the grog up the chimney with hustle Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, “And NOW!” grinned the Prof, “They’ll be no beer left to guzzle!”

Was singing! Without any liquor at all!

Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.

He HADN’T stopped E-Week from coming!

On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire.

IT CAME! And the one drop of booze, that he left in the house, Somehow or other, it came just the same!

Was a shot that was even too small for a mouse.

And the Prof, with his Prof-feet ice-cold in the snow, Then he did the same thing to the other Whos’ houses Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?

Leaving shots much too small for the other Whos’ mouses!

They still came without liquor! They still came without beer!

It was quarter past noon...

“They still came with chanting and singing and cheer!”

All the Whos, still a-bed And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.

All the Whos, still a-snooze Then the Prof thought of something he hadn’t before!

Their liquorless wake up would surely be soon.

“Maybe E-Week,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a glass .”

So he packed up the spirits! The beer cans! The tables!

“Maybe E-Week...perhaps...has a little more class!”

The wine! And the bourbon! To drink none would be able!

And what happened then...?

He took his sleigh up the side of Mount Royal, Well...in Who-ville they say With out all their drinks, their plans would be foiled!

That the Prof’s liver grew three sizes that day!

“Pooh-pooh to the Whos!” he was Prof-ish-ly humming.

And the minute he realized that he liked gin in Sprite “They’re finding out now that no E-week is coming!

He guzzled with his load through the bright morning light “They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!

And he brought back the drinks! And the wine for the feast!

“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two And he...

“Then all the Whos down in McGill will all cry BOO-HOO!” ...HE HIMSELF...!

“That’s a noise,” grinned the Prof, The Prof was sober the least!

“That I simply must hear!”

10 the plumber’s FAUCET

New Year`s Desolution

by Amanda dos Santos

The New Year brings with it a new semester, a new beginning, and an exciting world in which everything smells like fresh paint. Introspection is the order of the day for a happy and successful 2013. Annoying others with your shitty resolutions suddenly becomes socially acceptable and even encouraged.

You know how it works. Upon waking up on January 1st, you recall (or not) the amount of champagne consumed on New Year’s Eve and declare that in 2013, you will drink less. On January 2nd, you log into Minerva to check you transcript and declare that in 2013, you will study more. You might even consider visiting the Athletics and Recreation website to purchase a membership to the fitness center. After all, this year you will get back into shape.

In case you have fallen into the trap, this simple guide demonstrates how to modify your resolutions to make them a little more realistic.

ACADEMICS:

Just no: “This year, I will improve my GPA”.

Better: “I’ll attend all of my classes, unless they’re in the morning.”

Faucet-Approved: “I’ll give just enough shits to pass everything/ graduate on time” FITNESS:

Just No: “This year, I will get in shape” Better: “I’ll volunteer at events and deadlift some beer cases.”

Faucet-Approved: “I have a class in Trottier. Good enough.”

HOME:

Just No: “This year, I will keep my apartment cleaner.”

Better: “I’ll keep the floor of my room visible most of the time.”

Faucet-Approved: “I’ll finally learn to love myself for who I am: one shamelessly messy motherfucker.”

The E-Week Madlib

by Daniel Dicaire

CULTURE:

Fill in the blanks and enter them on page 14!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Verb (ending in -ing)______________________ Adjective _______________________________ Verb (past tense)__________________________ Someone you know_______________________ Type of professional (milkman, doctor, etc.) _______________________________________ Object _________________________________ Body part_______________________________ Colour _________________________________ Animal ________________________________ Body part ______________________________

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

Just no: “This year, I will read The McGill Daily”.

Better: “I’ll learn French.”

Faucet-Approved: “I’m sleeping with a chick here on exchange and I think she speaks French. Or German. Or something.”

MONEY:

Just no: “This year, I will spend less” Better: “I’ll invest in more deodorant and underwear to cut down on laundry costs” Faucet-Approved: “I’ll take last year’s $250 tuition refund, and add it to this year’s beer budget. No further savings required.”

If you made some misguided resolutions, don’t fret. Just a few January days have gone by, so it’s not too late to rectify your life plans for 2013.

Type of food ___________________________ Colour _________________________________ Another Colour__________________________ Article of clothing________________________ Body part _______________________________ Verb (present tense)_______________________ Noun __________________________________ Past tense of verb for 16____________________ A location ______________________________ Adjective _______________________________ Noun __________________________________ Piece of furniture________________________ Insulting noun___________________________ Object _________________________________ Number less than 12_______________________ Unit of legth ____________________________ Object _________________________________ Material _______________________________

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The Even-Less-Dirty Word Search

11

by Liquid Giggles

-- Now 27% more family firendly!

Congratulations to Jason Willems, the winner of last issue’s Faucet Word Search. He is the proud new owner of an ultra-limited edition Faucet T-Shirt, and now gets to enjoy the perks of such a suave fashion statement, including but not limited to fame, fortune, and a horde of lusty women stalking his every move.

You too can be like Jason if you are the first to finish this issue’s Faucet Word Search. Start by finding the 11 family-friendly words that are given, then look for the other 19 hidden words. The hidden words and phrases all mean more or less the same thing and are equally family-friendly, if you know what I mean. All words and phrases are either vertical or horizontal, so don’t worry about that diagonal stuff.

When you’ve found everything, use the remaining letters to find the secret phrase. Send your answer for the secret phrase to faucet@mcgilleus.ca; the first person to email-in with the correct answer will win a new Faucet T-Shirt. I warn you though, this one is harder than usual and only the dirtiest of minds will succeed.

1. Darken 2. Attach 3. Annex 4. Propose 5. Yamaha 6. Trip

7. Tough 8. Sailing 9. Slice 10. Reward 11. Grime

12. _____________________ 13. _____________________ 14. _____________________ 15. _____________________ 16. _____________________ 17. _____________________ 18. _____________________ 19. _____________________ 20. _____________________ 21. _____________________ 22. _____________________ 23. _____________________ 24. _____________________ 25. _____________________ 26. _____________________ 27. _____________________ 28. _____________________ 29. _____________________ 30. _____________________ Secret Phrase: __ __ __ __

__ __ __ __

__ __ __

__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __’ __

Hint: “Something you should try to avoid doing during E-Week”

__ __ __ __ __

12 the plumber’s FAUCET

One beer, Two beer, Red beer, Blue beer

by Liquid Giggles

One beer, Two beer, Red beer, Blue beer.

Black beer, Light beer, Old beer, New beer.

This one has a little key, This one was made by a bee.

Say! What a lot of beers there are.

Yes. Some are red and some are blue.

Some are old and some are new.

Some are itty and some are pretty, And some are very, very shitty.

Why are they itty and pretty and shitty?

I don’t know, so here’s a titty.

Some are grungy, some are proper.

Some fancy ones have a cork-seal stopper.

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From bar to pub, From pub to bar, To get good beer, You need not go far.

13

The Lorax

Yurtle’s Dive

Oh me! Oh my! Oh me! Oh my!

What a lot of beers to buy.

Some drink two, some drink four.

Some drink thirty, we drink more.

Where do they come from? I can’t say.

But some have come a long, long way.

We see them come, We see them go.

We drink some fast, We drink some slow.

PPO

There’s no such thing as an unwelcome beer.

If you must know why, ask an engineer.

14 the plumber’s FAUCET

A Tale of Sordid Happenings

Fill in Page 10 before completing!

My first E-Week had some nights to remember. I had a great time 1.________________ during the 2.________________ game of Three-Man, where I 3.________________ all over 4.________________.

I don’t remember much after that, but when the 5.________________ showed up, they found me with a 6.________________ on my 7.________________ and a tattoo of a 8.________________ 9.________________ on my 10.________________ .

I swore I wouldn’t be such a lightweight on the pub crawl, so I prepared by eating only 11.________________ all day. But all that did was turn my vomit from 12.________________ to 13.________________ , which totally clashed with my 14.________________ . E-week was wreaking havoc on my liver, but not on my 15.________________ .

To boldy 16.________________ where no 17.________________ had 18.________________ before, on the final night I went on the Bus Trip to Nowhere, which was to 19.________________ .

The bar there was called the 20.________________ 21.________________ . Before long, I had a 22.________________ on my head and people were calling me a 23.________________ for no apparent reason. When I heard last call I was passed out under the 24.________________ . I barely made it back on the bus at 25.________________ in the morning. When the credit card bill came that month, I thought I should challenge the charge for a thirty 26.________________ 27.________________ made out of 28.________________ , but maybe that was me after all…

Join the Faucet!

Can you read and write? Can you tie your shoes all by yourself? Can you identify the basic parts of the male and female anatomy?

If so, you’re qualified to join the Faucet’s elite writing staff. If you’re interested in becoming part of the Faucet, send an email to faucet@mcgilleus.ca!

See this, and all of our past issues in glorious full-colour PDFs on :

issuu.com/plumbersfaucet

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The E-Week Madlib

Do something useful with your life:

300 400 400 500 800 500 200 600 4000

Beer Tasting

Pub Crawl Scavenger Hunt

Pub Crawl Race

Ultimate Predrink

Beer Olympics

Boat Races

Monopoly

Three Man Sum (1st Place)

200 200 200

Breakfast 2 - Based on Attendance

Bottle Caps Race

Clothing Drive

100

100

100

100

75

75

Sum (1st Place)

WMC (Most original design)

200 100 100 200 200

Highest Gerts Tab Saturday (with proof)

Winning Century Club

Rhyming at events

Competing in Beer Olympics in a Toga

Rowdiness

Bringing your book to an event

Bring a professor to a night event

Strip Club Breakfast - Based on Attendance

200

300

250

150

150

150

0

250

250

100

125

75

75

75

0

125

125

50 /event

50 /event

200 (Max once per team)

300

6000

200

300

500

200

500

300

300

300

300

500

500

Design Competition (Aesthetics) WMC (Fastest Delivery)

3rd

600 (based on % completed)

900 600

WMC (Coldest Drink)

2nd

53% of Competition

1st

Design Competition (Most Paint) Design Competition (Innovation)

Debates

Sneech Task #3

Sneech Task #2

Sneech Task #1

Assassins

Broomball

Dodgeball

Scavenger hunt

Non-Drinking Events

Bonus Points (Given up to maximum indicated)

50

50

50

50

150

0

125

200

125

100

100

0==========>400 1300

Dr Seuss Themed Anything

Spirit (Inclining Balance) Sum (1st Place)

300

0

250

400

250

200

200

150

150

700==========>0

200

Breakfast 1 - Based on Attendance

Sportsmanship (Declining Balance)

3rd

13% of competition

300

Miscellaneous

2nd

35% of Competition

Beer Die Tournament

Drinking Events

1st

E-Week Team Scoring Guide

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15

4:30-7:00: Blues Pub/Beer Die Common Room

Tuesday

7:00 - 3:00: Pub Crawl Leave from Common Room

Beer Tasting (5:00) Common Room

4:30-9:00 Pubnite TBD

5:00-9:30 Ultimate Predrink Your place

3:30 - 4:30: Weapons of Mass Consumption Common Room

10:00: Monopoly Common Room 11:00 - 3:30: Dodgeball/Broomball/ Gerts/Iron Rink

Saturday

8:30-3:00 9:30 - 3:00: Century Club 10:00-3:00 Bus Trip to Nowhere Le Drugstore Beer Olympics The Thirsty Boot 1366 St. Catherine East Café Campus (the Century starts at 57 Prince Arthur East Meet at Common Room 9:00)

4:30 - 7:00: Blues Pub Common Room

4:30-7:00 Blues Pub/Pass Out Gear

3:30 - 4:30: Sneetch Task Common Room

12:00-3:30 Three Man Common Room

11:00 - 1:30: Design Competition Lower Field 1:30-3:30 YOPP-Drunken Debates Common Room 3:30-4:30 Sneetch Task Common Room

Thursday Friday 9:00-10:00 9:00-10:00 Breakfast Breakfast 3656 Durocher, Apt 3 3524 Hutchinson, Apt 48

3:30-4:30 Opening Ceremonies Common Room

Wednesday

The E-Week Schedule -Your personal guide to when and where to get rowdy

16 the plumber’s FAUCET