The Revolution Issue

vol. 44 no.2 • Wednesday, NOV 4, 2009

Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité ENGINEERING REVOLUTION

Plumber’s Masthead Editor-in-Chief Daniel Keresteci Layout & Copy Editor Edward Jerjian Writers Tim Cheung Allan Cyril William Farrell Grey Kinsley Poet Laureate & Cartoonist Andrew Komar

Special Thanks Ali Najmabadi Copi-EUS the plumber’s FAUCET vol. 44 no. 2 Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Letter from the Editor Halloween is over. Mid-terms are consuming us with full force. The sun sets at 5 pm and the weather is consistently cold enough to make you question whether it’s really worth it to get out of bed and go to class or just turn over for an extra hour or so of sleep. Yes my friends, November is upon us, and with it, a new issue of The Plumber’s Faucet. Thank you for joining us on our never-ending pursuit of journalistic integrity.

This past homecoming weekend some fellow engineers and I were fortunate enough to play a game of Flagball against some alumni. Flagball used to be the big sport in engineering. Back in the day every department had their own team and there was even a sizable women’s league. The alumni came wearing their old custom made team shirts from the 70‘s and could still remember every detail about games played 30 years ago. This was quite a contrast with the current state of flagball in engineering. The league has been in decline since I started here and this year there wasn’t even enough interest to field two teams and so the league was cancelled.

At halftime, we talked to the old-timers as they reminisced about their time at McGill. Let me tell you, they really put us in our place. They had story after story of crazy pranks they had pulled and parties they had thrown.

I think all us current generation who were there felt a little disappointed that we didn’t have any comparable stories of our own McGill is a much different place now then it was in 1979, with an increase in world rankings and reputation, and higher entrance standards, students began working harder on their school work and less on extracurriculars.

This trend of low-student involvement on campus has been summed up in the dreaded word, apathy. Apathy is the number one concern for every student organization on campus (EUS, SSMU, AUS...). It’s the reason the SSMU general assembly couldn’t get 100 people out of a class of 24,000 and why flagball isn’t happening this year. Most students don’t care about activities on campus as much as they care about their school work. This is the by-product of the research focused world class academic institution that is McGill. This is by no means a terrible thing, but if undergraduates are going to devote more of their time and effort into studying, there is going to be proportionally less time and effort for student life.

I should also add that McGill’s policy towards student life has changed dramatically as well. Gone are the days where engineers hijacked a beer truck (yes, that actually happened) and got away with it. Now you can get expelled for so much as mooning a classroom.

With the drastic changes that have occurred at McGill, I don’t think it would be wise to compare ourselves with generations in the past. We may not be able to get away with hijacking a beer truck anymore but we still throw the best party of the year, OAP, and plans are in the works to bring Flagball back next year. Engineers are doing a lot of great things at McGill and I hope that the Faucet will continue to showcase these accomplishments all year long. So read the Faucet, get involved and remember school work is only half your university education.

Daniel Keresteci, Editor-in-Chief

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A Modest Proposal ... Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Absurdism

by Andrew Komar

Student apathy is a problem. Indeed, for the forty percent of you that read beyond that first sentence, you are most likely well aware of the ennui that permeates the air. In fact, as we gaze at the political scene today, we are met with a population of over 20,000 (ish) students who care so very little about the internal affairs of the school that we literally lose quorum of our General Assembly because there was a class change and a small fraction of quorum (that’s about 2%, or 395 students in total, out of a possible 19750). This coincided with the failure of a motion regarding efficiency in our student building, but we will return to that later.

I’m not saying the student government hasn’t been representing us well with the administration, but the victories and setbacks all exist within the Student Politics Sphere. This is the place where Robert’s Rules run rampant, where the road to success is paved with red tape and a thousand out of office replies, and you have an intimate, possibly carnal relationship ith your portfolios. It’s one where you are personally perturbed by a point of parliamentary procedure, last on the speakers list, and ready to vote on another vote to have a vote to return to the original vote to vote. I get it, I’m on that scene like boring, tedious flies to honey.

The thing is, that sphere isn’t very interesting to Normal People.

Us non-apathetic types are a tiny minority of students that are making all the decisions with very little involvement from The Normal People.

This can’t be good for the operation of SSMU. Certainly, it’s no worse then our current token vote on virtually indistinguishable federal parties or even worse, the local election with a

HUGE number of candifates. In fact, it’s probably much better in many ways, but nobody cares.

So, what the hell do we do, you may be asking. Let’s look to the last time students gave a shit. Yeah, it’s this Choose Life Fiasco, and before that, Israel-Palestine. Ok, that’s some heavy stuff, but the key factor in both is that they Piss People Off. As it turns out, lots of people! That was a beautiful, albeit tremendously chaotic example of the democratic process.

Admittedly, that all died when we decided to immediately stop talking about it and be legally prohibited from ever ever bringing it up again. The GA may have been the ‘wrong place’ to discuss things, but convention hasn’t been working very well lately.

The American Republicans almost knew what they were doing. They, in a political masterstroke, introduced the Killa from Wasilla, most likely the least appropriate person for the VP office EVER! I just think the spectacle itself got the vote out to more people. The absurdity of this woefully unqualified beauty queen actually, possibly being a heartbeat away from The Nuclear Codes was enough to make the entire continent go on and on! That spectacle got people out.

Like it or not, in this super plugged-in world we have so many other things we care about more, so to compete with Lolcats and YouTube, we have to make this shit interesting.

But, just as the general ‘don’t be an asshole’ rule that I try to live by, we shouldn’t do this by offending people.

Screw that mudslinging 20th century bullshit, (wo)m(a)(y)n, get with the times. Why don’t we simply embrace the ridiculousness of the sphere itself and make really stupid motions?

What’d you say about Plumber’s Crack?

For example, how about a motion to remove the letter “R” from the Shat, or a proposal to install an efficient space-improvement shelving system in our male, female, cis, trans, multi, undecided and robot facilities? Why not embrace the system and make tragically stupid and just colossally imbecilic moves throughout the sphere? Can we not accept how silly the whole process is in the first place?

So we, as that 2 percent, become a public laughingstock. If we do our job right, we can get people interested in the spectacle itself, and maybe, just maybe, have people stay at the GA after they protect the right of vegans and vegetarians to continue the murder of defenceless carrots and beans by not banning all vegetable consumption on Campus, and We the People would be united, laughing at ourselves.

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Efficiency is Key

by William Farrell

to the Mech Labs, and a little bit of tender loving care they were able to produce two prototypes. In order to demonstrate their effectiveness, a few dedicated plumbers made their way to the Shatner Building. They proceeded to install one in the gender neutral washroom so that its utility could be enjoyed by people all across the gender gradient. With a little bit of duct tape and the CISC Handbook of Steel Construction (Ninth Edition, Fourth Printing) they were able to firmly erect their structure on the wall. After some brief demonstration of its load bearing capacity (using the Steel Handbook to represent a

uniform factored live load) and its functionality (see photo) they were satisfied with their model and left.

They then submitted the second prototype and the report to SSMU VP University Affairs, Rebeca Dooley.

Though somewhat bewildered by their antics, she accepted the donation but informed them that they did not have the authority to make installations in the Shatner Building. Not dissuaded by such a technicality, the engineers left with the knowledge that they had surely improved the lives of the general student body, especially the agoraphobics, and lived happily ever after.

Ali Najmabadi

The single most important issue facing the modern engineer is how to do more with less. How can we achieve a quality greater than or equal to the status quo with less money, less time, less labor, and fewer materials? It should come as no surprise that when we see waste in the Student Society of McGill University’s (SSMU’s) own building we strive to remedy it. I am of course referring to the Motion Re: Space Efficiency introduced at the Fall General Assembly. For all of you apathetic students out there, it read as follows: whereas student studying space on University grounds is becoming a rare commodity, whereas the first paragraph of the preamble of the SSMU’s Constitution states that the “Student’s Society shall serve ... while providing services to strengthen the educational ... conditions of our membership”, Whereas the SSMU should strive to use the space it leases from the University as efficiently as possible, be it resolved that the SSMU installs a hinged desk on the back of every bathroom stall door in the Shatner Building for the purpose of studying while “taking care of business.” be it further resolved that installation be completed by March 1st, 2010, so that the stalls may be used for studying for the Winter term finals.

But alas, the general student body disagreed and coldly rejected this valuable initiative at the General Assembly. Not to fear: here in engineering we understand that if you don't do it yourself, it won't get done at all. That is why some engineers took it upon themselves to see this to the bloody end. With a couple scraps of 3/4" plywood, 6 hinges, access

Grey Kingsley demonstrates the functionality of the device in Shatner.

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The Plumber’s Dilemma

by Edward Jerjian

If you think being an engineering student implies we study late at night, regularly overdose on caffeine, and take frequent videogame breaks, then you have not met a real Plumber. Definition: plumbaphobia – fear of rowdy, smashed, engineering students dressed in beerdrenched lab-coats who have a knack for winning at Beer-Die. The Plumber’s Faucet would like to pull out “cultural identity” from the very bottom of the toilet bowl.

Engineering students, or Plumbers, used to represent a hard-working and highly entertaining group of people.

Now, instead of playing Beer-Die on a weekday nights after an honest day’s work, you will often find engineering students engaged in mindless latenight plagiarizing rituals.

Back in the 70s and 80s, the Plumber culture was driven by a “work hard, play hard” ethic. Today, the majority of engineering students abstain from drinking and participating in social activities. So, if we do not play hard anymore and we do not do honest hard work any longer, then where has all the time gone? We have either misunderstood the “play hard” part or we are just not being challenged enough to “work hard.”

Firstly, the apathy and dishonestly among engineering students stems from systemic pedagogical issues and outdated engineering curriculums. This year, McGill Engineering was ranked 20th (incorrectly cited as 18th on McGill Engineering’s website) among the world’s top engineering schools in U.S. News & World Report. The reality is that our engineering curriculums are not nearly as current, dynamic, and fast-paced as engineering schools in the Canada and abroad. Change is too low; we barely have enough funding and proper infrastructure to

help undergraduate students keep up with innovation in our respective fields. Engineering students must be given new problems to solve, not the same old assignments from past years. How can McGill Engineering be ranked among the best in the world with outstanding quality of education issues? At this time, the Faculty has withheld the frustrations of the students and professors in order to maintain the status-quo.

Secondly, with the increased enrolement of international students into the Faculty, maintaining one cohesive lifestyle has been an increasingly difficult task. Engineering students are made up of a variety of social cliques and, as a result, the

Engineering Undergraduate Society (EUS) has found it difficult to appeal to the majority of students. Engineers are not interested in living the Plumber’s lifestyle and as a result, university careers have become more about getting high grades then developping the skills to succeed once we graduate.

Given that curriculum changes and cultural integration is slow, growth and progress do not shine through the students. Students rarely get to see their dreams and sincerest academic efforts come to fruition. Alcohol may not be necessary to the Plumber’s lifestyle, but it is an essential catalyst in the solidarity process and in developing the courage to say “Yes, we can!”

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EWB: Running to End Poverty

by Timothy Cheung

This summer, the Montreal Run to End Poverty team ran the Marathon Oasis de Montréal to raise awareness of extreme poverty in Africa and to support international development efforts. An offspring of Engineers Without Borders (EWB) Canada, the team consists of over forty members from Sherbrooke, Polytechnique, and most of all, McGill.

Run to End Poverty was formed in 2007, when an EWB volunteer in Ghana, along with EWB-Montreal, created an ‘international’ half-marathon event where simultaneous runs in Montreal and Ghana took place, and runners in both continents ran in solidarity. Since then, the organization has spread across the country to Vancouver and Toronto, and grown in size considerably: the Montreal team alone has grown ten-fold from the previous year! The three participating cities – Montreal, Vancouver, and Toronto – contend with one another to raise the most money. Earlier in the summer, the Vancouver team raised $12000; a month ago, the Montreal team raised over $15000; Toronto is set on raising the bar even further when they run sometime next summer.

Surpassing Vancouver’s benchmark was no easy task. The Montreal

Run to End Poverty, in Ghana.

Runners from the Montreal Run to End Poverty 2009. team had only half the time that the Vancouver team had to attract donors.

As Dana Giacobbi, one of the lead organizers on the Montreal team, puts it, “the key to our success was having a core group of individuals truly passionate about EWB’s work, willing to push their own limits to alleviate the suffering of others. Passion is something that others can feel; when you have it, it doesn’t take long before amazing things happen.“ The $15000 raised will all be used to support international development efforts led by EWB. An example of such efforts is the Governance and Rural Infrastructure work currently being done in Ghana.

In a district like Saboda, Ghana, the government would arbitrarily decide each year which village was going to receive a project (i.e. a new pump, repairs on their local school, or a new road) and which ones would have to wait. However, after some research, it was found that their list of villages was wildly incomplete – some villages weren’t even on the list and; therefore, weren’t even considered. This is where EWB came in. Nick Jimenez, a

long term overseas volunteer, helped implement a district wide survey, mapping all the villages, and determining which ones needed a project through a formal selection process, and ultimately helping those who need it most.

Engineers Without Borders’ message is simple: you too can play an important role in improving the lives of people thousands of kilometres overseas. Whether sparing a few hours to volunteer, attending an event about the causes (and solutions) of extreme poverty, or by sending a letter to a local MP, it’s easy to get involved.

By empowering people here at home, EWB hopes to improve the quality of life for those in the third world.

Next year, the Montreal Run to End Poverty team will run again. We expect an even larger turnout, and consequently, a much higher fundraising goal! For all you avid runners out there who haven’t joined Run to End Poverty: It’s great to be conscious of health, but why not raise money for a great cause in the process? And for those who haven’t started running, it’s never too late to start!

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Fight at Blues Pub, First of its Kind

by Grey Kingsley

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been going to Blues Pub pretty regularly since I got to McGill. Up until about two weeks ago, I’ve never seen anyone get into a fight. To me that seems like a big enough deal that it deserves a mention in the Faucet.

This is that mention. My goal in writing this article is twofold: I want to both dispel any incorrect rumors that are floating around and illustrate how the situation was dealt with properly and how it wasn’t. No, I’m not going to mention any names, that wouldn’t be fair to those involved.

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? The altercation took place sometime before 7 pm, at the Beer Die table closer to the DJ booth. Both ends of the table had a full complement of players(i.e. two at each end).

A player from the end closer to the DJ booth gets up to go get more beer with which to play the game. To make story telling easier, I’ll call this person Han. After Han left the table, a bystander, who we’ll call Lando, removed the Beer Die chair, replaced it with a stool and sat in the chair in some adjacent group of people. Upon returning, Han asked for the chair back, as it was the Beer Die chair and was his to begin with. As we all know (or should know anyway), a stool is not a valid replacement for the standard chair at a game of Beer Die; it’s simply too tall. So an argument ensues.

Lando stands up and Han takes this opportunity to take his chair back. At this point a third player enters, who we’ll be calling Lobot, even though he’s probably not a cyborg. Lobot steps in to defend Lando and apparently unintentionally, Han spills some beer on Lobot. In retaliation Lobot throws a beer on Han. Now when I say throw, I don’t mean throw like a

An artist’s rendition of the fight. baseball. I mean throw as in the contents of the cup were ejected while the cup remained in Lobot’s hand.

The distinction will be important later. Needless to say, things get heated real quick at this point and Han and Lobot are restrained so as to prevent any serious facial damage. Lando takes the opportunity to punch Han in the face, twice. Luckily, Lando is significantly shorter than Han so there really wasn’t much force behind the blows. Apperently Lobot manages to get ahold of and rip Han’s shirt while restrained. Long story short, security is called by at least three people independently and Han is removed to the DJ booth so as to prevent the aggressors from starting any more shit.

Between the time that Han got back to the table and security was called,

easily less than five minutes had elapsed.

Upon arriving, security escorts Han, Lando and Lobot into the hallway where a shouting match gets started as all three try to tell their side of the story at once. If you were there, you probably noticed the mass exodus from Blues Pub at this point; that was because nothing was done to control the crowd of spectators.

Had things been left up to security, the three involved in the fight would have been left alone in the lobby, with nothing to stop continued violence. Luckily that didn’t happen. Then again, had things been left up to security, Blues Pub would have been shut down early that night.

Soon after the whole thing was dealt with, some Person Of Importance(POI) got hold of the official security report.

I happened to sneak a peak at the report (over someone’s shoulder) and what I could gather from among the myriad typos was that security had a very different idea of what actually happened. For one thing, the guard that filed the report said he was on patrol down there when the fight started.

If someone had to call security, then there was no way he was on rounds.

Anyway, this has gone on long enough.

I have to go harvest my farmville.

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McConnell Cafe Under Scrutiny

by Edward Jerjian On Thursday October 29, McGill engineering students met with Bill Pageau, Director of Food Services, to discuss their qualms with the McConnell cafeteria. Topics ranged from food quality, pricing, service and overall efficiency at the café.

Chartwells will consider hiring an industrial engineering consultant to improve efficiency in the management and organization of resources at the café. A major problem for many Faculty members and students is the inconvenient lineups and overwhelming feeling of being rippedoff during lunchtime rush-hour. A concern about the price of pizza ($3.64) was also noted as a total rip off.

Suggestions were made to replace the seldom-used salad bar with a sandwich counter. Pricey, greasy, over-the-grill trios and overpriced, refrigerated, body-bagged plastic sandwiches are not very appealing choices.

Hints were made to improve the quality of bread and price of prepared foods at the café.

Mr. Pageau assured us that the pre-packaged sandwiches are made daily at the New Residence kitchen. He emphasized the variety of ingredients in the sandwiches and asked Sarah Waseem, EUS VP Services, to determine the Faculty’s interest in obtaining a sandwich counter with healthy options. Calorie values will likely be indicated on a new version of the menu to be implemented by next year.

CEN

SORE D BY

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EUS

Adage of the Week An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full, a pessimist will tell you the glass is half-empty, and an engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

The Heart Times

by Andrew Komar An engineer said to her intern “Now is the time that you’ll learn There is nothing to fear when you learn about shear And with knowledge there’s money you’ll earn.

Let’s start with your member of steel Whose resistance and strength are quite real When loads are applied, design members wide.

And my factor of safety you shall feel.

Your member will see loads of tension, or maybe some undue compression.

Don’t put in a twist Or my points you have missed You need to have robust dimension.

Your wood member can be secure Cyclic loading it will endure But with wet work condition It is my premonition That its failure will be premature.

Now with the member you wield Practice safety throughout the whole field The public believe, When they ask they receive So show your design unconcealed.

Upcoming Events

Nov 16 - Nov 25: 9 day break from all school activities.

How to sign-up: Self report yourself with H1N1 on myMcGill.

Plans: Party all-day every day

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The Physical Principles of a ...

Buoyant Organics Newtonian Generator

by Andrew Komar

1

This article will consider the operating mechanics of a Buoyant Organics Newtonian Generator (BONG). This apparatus consists of two concentric reservoirs, one inverted with a valve on top with room for the organic material. The smaller reservoir rests within a pool of non-reactive liquid such as water.

3

To obtain these aerosols, the two way valve is opened and the interior reservoir is moved in the -y direction.

For pressure equilibrium purposes, the aerosols-gas mixture will exit the valve.

Best Microwavable Objects* 1) Lightbulb in glass of water 2) CD for 10 seconds 3) Split grape floating in

water, with skin still attached 4) Marshmallows * The Plumber’s Faucet is not responsible for your stupidity

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In operation, the organic material is combusted, producing the desired aerosols. At the same time, the interior reservoir is subjected to a force in the +y direction, causing a net motion upwards. For pressure equilibrium within the internal resevoir, a net movement of gases (air and organics) will move towards the interior.

Plumber’s Guide to Success in Engineering The faucet’s five ways to succeed in engineering:

1) Solution Manuals - Of course for studying purposes only...

2) Textbooks on PDF - You do use bit torrent don’t you?

3) Crib Sheets - Some prof’s let you use them for exams. Learn to trace a printed page with a .3 mm mechanical pencil and you’re all set.

4) Drinking - BDP on Tuesday’s... best exam prep ever.

5) Get diagnosed with ADD Because it can’t be bad for you if it’s prescribed by a physician.

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Proof that Concordia Eng. < McGill Eng.

by Allan Cyril

Introduction It is a commonly held belief that Concordia University in Montreal, Quebec has a more practical engineering program than that of McGill University. A quick search of university forums will reveal this type of belief.

“People have mentioned here that Concordia is more practical whereas mcgill is more theorical. (sic) [...]If you’re the type of guy that can do well by studying from books and listening to long ‘bla bla’ lectures, then you’ll be fine in McGill.”

This experiment will study the validity of this assertion using the results of three SAE Collegiate Design Series Events: Formula SAE, BAJA SAE and Formula Hybrid.

The teams will have one year to complete their vehicles. The results of the competition should give a good indication of which university in actuality has the most practical engineering program.

Results 1) Formula SAE In all, 119 universities registered to compete in the event held in Detroit, Michigan. Ninety-one of these universities produced cars at the competition. Both McGill and Concordia were among the 91 and each university produced splendid cars for the competition. Table A holds the results of the competition.

3) Formula Hybrid Concordia did not register for this competition but it is of note to disclose the results as this can be seen as McGill’s best achieving team. In all, 22 teams attended the event. McGill had won every other Formula Hybrid competition before this one.

This year, the team finished fourth, which, though a great result disappointed the then-undefeated team.

Conclusion The assertion that Concordia has a more practical engineering program is an absolute fallacy. This study conclusively proves that in reality McGill Engineers Rule the World and will continue to do so as long as interest remains high in

Table A: FSAE Results Materials Steel Tubes Carbon Fibre Fibre Glass Gas Engines Electric Motors Wires Blood, Sweat, and Tears Methods The aforementioned universities will be invited to a series of practical competitions organized by the Society of Automotive Engineers. The Formula SAE competition will challenge students to build a formula style race car prototype for a limited production run. A variation on this, Formula Hybrid, will challenge students to build hybrid race car prototypes. Baja SAE will invite students to build off-road prototype vehicles.

All three competitions will be judged on the basis of multiple criteria. Presentations about cost, the marketability and design of the vehicle will be judged. A multitude of dynamic tests will also be conducted to measure the quality of these machines.

Place

Team

Cost Score

Pres.

Score

Design Accel.

Score Score

Skid Pad Score

Autocross Score

EnduranceEconomy Score

Total Score

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McGill

73.1

29.7

80

3.8

12.0

79.8

296.8

575.2

86

Concordia

50.8

21.8

25

0.0

0.0

0.0

0.0

97.6

2) Baja SAE McGill and Concordia both registered for separate competitions in this event. Concordia registered for the competition held in Wisconsin along with 119 other teams. McGill registered at the competition in Oregon along with 94 other teams. Table B holds the results at their respective competitions.

Table B: Baja SAE Results Place 47

Team McGill

102 Concordia

Endurance Score

Dynamic Score

Static Score

84.62

138.65

157.00

0.00

0.00

76.63

design teams. This author also suggests that Concordia change its motto from ‘a real education for the real world’ to something recognizing McGill’s obvious superiority. Some suggestions are “a kinda-real education for the real world,” “DeVry of the North” or “Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.”

The design teams are preparing for another battle in 2010. The FSAE team is currently welding their frame for next year’s competition. Baja SAE is currently awaiting parts from PoTotal laris, a major sponsor, and is Score conducting suspension simulations. Formula Hybrid is 380.27 installing new electric motors on last year’s car to test them 76.63 for use in their 2010 iteration.

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Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

by Andrew Komar

There is a new virus that has appeared on the global scene. It is insidious, virulent and very contagious, and it can trace its origins back to barnyard animals the world over. Yes, my friends, it seems Farmville has infected us all. So far, I have remained free from its terrifying grasp, but I am not certain how much longer I can hold out.

Farmville seems to have appeared a couple of weeks ago as yet another of those facebook applications. But unlike Mob Wars or Super Double Plus Happy Fun Wall, this application has found a very robust market within certain population. There is no definitive pattern to infection, I have found that it tends to favor individuals without much exposure to direct sunlight and an excess of school work. It begins innocently enough, with a simple invitation but as soon as it is initialized, the behaviour of the individual begins to change.

During important conversations people have stared off into space, mumbling incoherently about “gifting elephants”, and walking off towards the nearest computer. In the middle of computer labs, I’ve heard shouts of “I’m at level six! I can finally grow strawberries”. They compare their crop yields, animal counts, field size, partners, gifts, conversions, bushes and bean poles, with nary a sexual connotation to be seen. In advanced cases, subjects are seen constantly clicking their mouse, mouth slightly open, as row after virtual row is changed in incomprehensible ways, pausing only to scratch themselves or invite additional people to join them. I cannot tell at this point whether these people are content with their lifestyle, but Farmville has replaced all important functions in their lives (like napping,

showering, sex, or school I guess).

Instead of a harmless activity that serves to amusingly fill time (like drinking, or causal drug use), it appears to me that Farmville is part of a far more nefarious plot designed to socially engineer the slacker generation. Let us look at the evidence of this: First of all, instead of relentless individualism (the backbone of Capitalism), Farmvillians are encouraged to work collectively on their friends or comrades farms, even receiving bonuses for this activity. How can we expect to nurture a generation of entrepreneurs if everyone has been brainwashed into working together? Based on quotas, this infected proletariat is given more land to toil endlessly and happily upon.

Who is giving this land, I might add?

It would seem whoever owned the land initially has no say in how their land is to be used. Where is respect for private property?

Secondly, there is an emphasis on planting multiple crops. As any artsy will tell you, modern farming is characterized by monocropping, a tactic that is proven to generate maximum profits and useful food the world over. Why would a farming game wish to eschew the profit motive, and why are the infected being taught that this is an acceptable and desirable way

of producing food? I can only assume that their grossly inefficient use of land space is meant to produce some sort of Malthusian starvation situation to target those not indentured in this Farmville dystopia.

I think the reason for this sinister social engineering is clear when we consider the group that is behind all of this: fascist hippies from San Francisco!

These burnt out scrum-bums are bitter that our Glorious Consumerist Society has paved over their pathetic notions of free love and freedom from showering They wish to impose their outdated Socialist Ideals through this mind-virus.

It’s no surprise that, like Paul Gauguin, they reject our Modern Society and enslave unsuspecting students in some horrible, idyllic “paradise”. Where is the art, poetry, dance, sensationalist free press, twitter and LOLcats in Farmville?

They’ve all been abolished for subsidence farming. Those damned hippies hate our freedom and have decided the best way to destroy it is through this horrible scourge.

It’s obvious what we, as concerned citizens must do: Kill all Farmvillians.

With fire.

Only then will our way of life be safe from these unwashed communists.