The Plumber's Faucet

McGILL NIGHTLINE

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398-2498 McGill Engineering Publication Society

Vol. 11 No.9

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Wednesday, January 25,1995

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Here's the solution Ammanda Huganl{iss

1111111 T t' s that time of year again.

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Valentines Day .lis just around the corner and people are starting to feel sad and down because they just haven't found that special someone of their dreams that they can send a message to in the February 13th issue of The Faucet (Check this issue for a blurb on what the hell I'm talking about). Well dispair no longer. The cure for your problem has arrived and it's as easy as picking the ticks off a dead monkey's back.

One of the problems of trying to fmd your perfect mate is that you spend months and months trying to get to know the person that you suspect might be your dream partner only to find that they're an inconsiderate, disgusting slob, and that the man, or woman, that you were destined to spend the rest of your life with, has probably walked right past you and met someone else.

Now you're going to have to spend the rest of your life in the miserable, lonely darkness.

Well worry no longer. This revolutionary new method is a very simple two step process. It involves, first, describing yourself and then selecting the qualities you look for in a companion. You'll quickly be able to tell who

your perfect match is, by a simple glance. No need to get to know losers.

STEP 1: From the list below, select the qualities that best describes your character ("I ..... "). Add up the numbers that appear nextto the qualities you have selected. This is your very own "personality ill". Now take a thick black indelible marker and write this number on your forehead. You might want to get a friend to do this for you since it's important that it's clear and easily legible from 30 feet away.

who's "Personality ill" (the number on their forehead) matches the number on your hand.

This is your perfect mate. There are also other benefits from this method of partner matching. If you find a person who's "Personality ill" matches your "Personality ill" then obviously you have much in common and this person may be for you. CSCEEvents On the other hand, if you believe in the school of "Opposites attract" the person you're looking for For the new year, we're going to have a whole should have a ill of: slew of services that you Civils are going to need to face getting a Job, we're also going to have fun their "Personality ill" = 137438953471 - your things too!

"Personality ill"

STEP 2: Go through the list a second time and select the qualities that you look for in a partner (guys, try to refrain from describing your mother). Add up all the numbers that are next to the qualities you selected for this person. Write this number, in indelible black marker, on your hand. NOTE: The list was w"'1piled describing your qualities. Therefor, you need to change all the "my" to "their". Ex. "Pickmynoseinpublic" would be "pick their nose in public", unless your looking for someone to pick your nose for you.

This person will be completely opposite from you and you could very well be destined to marry and have 17 children.

In the next issue of The Faucet I'll be examining what to do once you've located the partner of your dreams. Among other things, I'll ~plam how to remove tl>e black marks on your forehead, since they'll no longer be required.

Until next time. ~

Now its easy. Next time you're in class (or anywhere else) simply look for the person

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CSST Course, a Safety Course which is absolutely necessary for Engineers who want to work, or even walk on a construction site. Detail to come.

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We've got a list of English technical terms and their French equivalents, indispe~blefor1he bilingual Engineer, for sale, come to the civil room and see an executive.

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The Annual Concordia Bridge Building Competition is to be held on the 10th of March, 1995. The Regsitration form must be sent in beforethe31stofJanuary 1995. Maximum of5 teams, the cost is $75 per team, and you have to build a bridge of one metre span out of popsicle sticks white glue and dental floss. We are subzidizing all CSCE members.

Come talk to an EXEC.

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The two Concrete toboggan teams will be displaying their masterpeices at Complex Desjardins on the 19th and 20th ofJanuary between lOam and 4pm.

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TABLE OF QUALITIES

If you want more details on any of the above, please come to the Civil Room at noon, and an Exec will be there, or you can email me, Mark Sanctuary at: Wahoo@emf.lan.McGill.CA

P.P.o. Calendar SUPERBOWL PARTY Sunday, January 29 Common Room

APOCALVPSEBLUESPUB Friday, February 3 (the Blues Pub to end all Blues Pubs)

MOVIE MARATHON for MIRA (guide dog association) Thursday February 9 Friday February 10 (Common Room)

Continued on page 2

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The Plumbers' Faucet, Wednesday, January 25, 1995

2

Plumbers' Ball 1995

Departmental in Brief

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January 19 - Design Project oral presentations. Come one, Come all, to see what hell is

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Submissions are being accepted for III Post Join one of our broomball teams!

Br~akfast, pop, hats and t-shirts on sale in III Check the board for used book sales Have a great semester!

Electrical February 1at 1:OOpm - The annual Faraday Lecture on electrical engineering is being broadcast live from the UK. Volunteers are needed with 400 high school students coming to McGill to watoh it. For info talk to any EES exec.

Electrical T-shirts are in! CheekEES dffice.

$10 Regular office hours start January 23.

Come get YOllr past exams.

Thanks to everyone who came out during E-Week!

February 1st - Open meeting to discuss talking in class. 12:30 Rm MD357. All are encouraged to attend.

Mech Laser Quest coming up!!

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i\ lining CMIEF Scholarship: The dead line to apply if Feb. 10, 1995. See John Mossop for details.

Mining Games: This huge event is coming up (March 23-25). Please sign up soon, since we can only have 20 people participate in the activities. Cost: $40.00 all inclusive, or $20.00 without hotel accommodations.

If you want to volunteer your help, it is much needed. Talk to the mining games committee.

New Exec.: For those of you who don't know, the exec for the '95 - '96 season arePrez: Angie Mehta V.P.: Sean Dessureault Treasurer: Evelyne Roch

n Friday March 31, 1995, you will have the opportunity to experience Plumbers' Ball '95! A formal night of wining, dining, dancing and awards, it's going to be the highlight of the year.

Sure, it's traditionally forthe graduating students, but anyone and everyone is invited!

This year, it will be held at a very classy venue (Iocation to be disclosed soon... ), and will be followed by the traditional early morning breakfast party in the Common Room. Howe.ver, there will be a coupl!! of ohanges from prevlOUS years, such as presentations by' the departments, special awards to graduating students as selected by their classmates, and an opportunity to ballroom. dance (now that you've all learned how!,).

If anyone is interested in helping this year's committee with fundraising orthe breakfast party, please leave a note in our box in the EUS office.

And for the rest of you - time to get out there and buy yourselves something new to wear!

See you at the Plumbers' Ball 1995! ~

Continued/rom page 1 BUD VALENTINES Sales: Wednesday February 8 - Monday February 13 McConnell Lobby Deli~ery: Tuesday, February 14

BOATRACING GALA AT MCGILL March 3 to March 5 (All Universities Invited)

P.P.O. Aillmni Reunion March 10 - March 12 BeginnerJevel Social Dance classes have already begun, but don't miss out on the intermediate level classes, which will start at the beginning of March. Only $28/couple, Wednesdays 5:30 _ 7.

You'll have a chance to show off your dancing prowess at the Plumbers' BaJ1, too! Sign up with Bill in the ElUS office.

A self-defense course will be offered this semester in the Common Room, on Monday nights from 69. It is a 5-week course, and ,is only $30/person.

Don't miss out - places are limited! Sign up with Bill in the BUS office.

Robin's Nest

you read Taryn's article about the different positions available and pick the one that best suits you. If you need any info at all, come see me or any of the other execs in the EUS Office, Room o ... continuing from last week's article ... 278 MacD or call us at 398-4396.

The tentative election schedule goes when I told you that Moe had resigned from the position ofVP Services. This is what council like this: Nomination forms for exec positions are has decided to do: not to fill the position ofVP due between February 6 and 15. Nominations Services but rather to create a new position. will reopen from the 16 to 17 for those positions Exciting,eh? Yes, wenowhavea"Commissioner in which only one person is running. Campaigning of Services"!! The difference in the positions is will occur during the first week back from Study that the commissioner will not be part of the Break (aka Ski Week). And elections will take executive team but will concentrate only on the place during the second week back. If you're The Top 5 Reasons This Error May Have Dear Faucet Editors, specific responsibilities of services. The executive interested in committee work, applications for Occu"ed. appointed WiII PhiIIipson (last year's EUS committee positions will be due the third week I was reading the top 7 list in the President) to the position. We wanted someone after break. Start thinking about the fun you 5. The Printer, not happy enough getting January 16 issue of the Faucet. Wljerll read item who already had a good handle on what was could be having next year. number one "McGill offers you 10 yfiar,", I the pages in the wrong order, decided to I went to the Great Northern Concrete going on so that things could start rolling right became very confused and etnbarrassed be'caus~ sabotage the top 7 list as well.

Toboggan Race this weekend. It's a civil away.

Will should be able to go nuts with this I did not understand it andl I was afraid had 4. The list was compiled on a Pentium. competition held every year at different position.

Watch out! missed some hilarious joke land eve~body ~$e 3. The list was originally pulled from the The time is quickly approaching for universities across Canada in which you design, was laughing at me. Please I~xplain. ,r 'nte."neb.9 if [) computer in Chile where we .- "....;,., .,.,., .' ,-' I EUS elections! Have you considered running for build and race a toboggan made out of concrete.

Anony~()us.:'" ~ .. '1iiiffi-haeJ-f@itranslate it from Chilean to an executive position? If you have, great! If you There are usually a few teams from the States and .~ :;.. ::!!.ngJ.i{/i;'VnJfrtunately, the official haven't, why not? It is a tremendous experience even teams from Europe who compete. On \..' </ ."'::~1g~il!;.orf~hile is Spanish, not Chilean, Editors Response: , ~~";? andt.rfi!i?-$!f!%o ofthelistmiraculously that you could not get anywhere else in this world. Saturday the toboggans crawled down the hill in Do you like working with people? Do you enjoy puddles of slush. It was hilarious! And guess ('~J' tra~llflt~jJ a~ay, an error did occur in taking on responsibility? Do you like to have where the race will be held next year? The Peg!! _ " 'thf! final item:Dear Anonymous, input into the activities that are going on around So anyone that wants to come out to Winnipeg You have nothing to.~?rry about. After : .'/ 2j~wq搂;,dtle to a covert o~eration by the you?

Are you an energetic and motivated person? can come and stay at my house. I don't know DqjJY'editors. consulting with the author gfthdtpartlcul'tir li~t, If so ... consider running for an exec position! what we're going to do about a hill though, they we discovered that an erro~ had occurr~Jand 1. We thought we could make a pretty good Yes, it's a big time commitment, but it's all time are few and far between in my little prairie town. that the entry should read "McGill offers you top 5 list about how an error could occur, management and there's no reason why you can't See ya! [ed. At least they'll be guaranteed to have tenure". Although this kind ofspoils that list it but we needed a way to lead into it. does give us the opportunity to create...... .

The Editors handle school and an exec position. Make sure snow] ~

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LETTERS TO liHE EDITOR(S)路...

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ANOTHER CONTEST!! i I Win Great Prizes with the Equipment Fund Contest! It's as easy as 1-2-3: I Write down 3 pieces of equiment you would like to see purchased, along I with the course and lab for which it would be used. Put the list(with your : name on it, of course!) in the box you'll find in room MD 278, the EUS I office. The BIG DRAW will be held January 27th!

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I NAME:

3 PIECES OF EQUIPMENT:

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ThePlumbers' Faucet Publication date: January 25, 1995 Vol. 11, No.9 Published by the Publication Society ofthe Engineering Undergraduate Society McGill University Iron Ring Room, MacDonald Engineering Building 817 Sherbrooke St. W. Montreal, QC H3A2K6 Tel.: 398-4396 Circulation: 2000 Copies across the campus of McGill University Editors: Kevin Morgan, Glenn Warren, Paul Williams, Phil Daniels Typesetting: Glenn Warren, Kevin Morgan Contributors: Ammanda Huggankiss, Peter Abramowicz, Lexy Relph, Council Spy, Robin Petri, Wanna B. Eng, Mark Hollingworth, Sylvain Gregoire, POWE, Michelle Gibson, Champ, Point Five Foreign Correspondent: Paul Willams (Monterey Mexico) Writing to the Editors: All letters to the editors of The Plumbers' Faucet must be submitted on a clearly identified diskette to the Faucet mailbox in the E. U.S. office.

Letters in English or French will be accepted from any source, but must not contain any racist, sexist or homophobic suggestions,normaterial ofan offensive nature. The editors reserve the right to withhold the publication of any submission.

The editors reserve the right to correct, or change articles submitted, either in length or content. All letters must be signed and include a phone number to enable the editors to contact the author.

3

The Plumbers' Faucet, Wednesday, January 25, 1995

Information' Hi!!hwav Backroads 1111111

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Council Spy

hew ... Yet one more Council meeting bites the dust. Spy is relieved to say that she didn't fall asleep this time, but came mighty close - not as much because it was boring, but more due to its non-ending duration. Then again, considering that it was the first meeting in the past month and a half, perhaps it wasn't all that long.

Hats off to Taryn once again, who, from the very start of the meeting, provided council with a gourmet choice of food from which to choose. Spy is extremely impressed with the variety lately, and sincerely hopes that the good work will continue.

MESEP got up to inform everyone that job postings were available and to check the boards (5th floor McConnell, and McConnell lobby in front of photocopiers) daily since new postings go up continuously. Then came Engineering Games to let everyone know about the supposedly great time that was missed by those who stayed behind for E-Week (which was awesome. Congrats E-Week committee); McGill came in fourth overall- far cry from last year's first place! Keeping the string of announcements rolling, Lucy jumped into the fray to promote the Starlight Foundation Snobox Derby. Basically, she hopes that every department will be able to create an entry (two person cardboard box held together by glue and/or tape only) to be raced at Beaver Lake sometime at the beginning of February; see Lucy for more info. By the way the Starlight Foundation is a charity, so all proceeds go to help out the less fortunate. Finally, InfoSys had yet once again another presentation.

Basically they just wanted to mention the Open House that InfoSys will be holding on XXXXXXXX for its sponsors. If you are interested in showing up, dress nicely, because all the big wigs are going to be there (tie wouldn't be a bad idea).

Next in line was the new business.

Starting offwith the Executive vacancy. As most of you probably know, Maurice Gibbs resigned last week as VP Services, which left a spot on the executive open - or did it? WeH, Spy is ashamed to report that the executive felt it was best for themselves to create a new, non-exec position, whose cheres are the same as the VP Services, and appoint someone who they felt was best suited. Perhaps it was due to the endless hours of Sel Com discussions that were endured earlier last year, but Spy felt that appointing someone was not the correct route to choose; actually, she wasn't the only one to feel that way. Well, Spy sure is glad he stayed in her seat. Anyhow, the

motion passed, and the execs appointed William Phillipson to the position. Spy tips her hat to Will (and thinks that he'll do a great job), but cannot do the same for the execs.

Ifthe first motion didn't stirup feelings in people, then the second one surely did, as a Motion was presented to permit only those with a CGPA of 2.3 or higher to run for an executive position. What?! you might ask? Correct - you read correctly; only those with a CGPA of2.3 or greater would be permitted to run if the motion passed. Well, suffice itto say that there was some heated debate over the topic, up to and including slight bickering between counsellors, before the motion was moved to a vote. Quite shockingly (NOT!), things didn't go as easy as they seemed.

It turned out that the vote count was greater than the typical 50% that is usually needed to pass a motion, however Council Speaker bestowed it upon herself to insist upon a 2I3rds majority for the motion to survive. Will Phillipson had the courage to challenge the chair, and upon a secondary vote, the motion failed by a narrow margin - one vote. Spy thinks that a minimum CGPA isn't a half bad idea; but believes that Council deserved to have more time to digest the idea before the motion was brought forward.

Once again, the hat remains firmly seated on Spy's head.

Finally came a Notice of Motion for Sel Com. In layman's terms, Prez. Robin announced that next Council meeting (Thurs.

Feb 2), Council will choose three normal people to sit on Sel Com and help the execs choose ALL the committees for next year. So if you are interested in helping out, speak to one of the execs for more info, and be sure to show up at the next council meeting.

If you thought it was about over, you couldn't be more wrong. Officers hadn't yet given their reports or their New Year's Resolutions (actually, they were kind of interesting).

Engineering Senator Zeinagotthe ball rolling by announcing that SSMU decided to can one of the Engineering two seats on senate next year, which means that there will only be one Senator to elect this year.

Next came alongTaryn who announced an InfoDay on March 6 for all UO' s and all U I ' s.

So drop by, and get informed! There's lots to know and learn about the EUS! "VP Geek" (Mitch) then brought up the age-old question of the Modem Pool. Yeah - that again. Well, it seems as though the Computing Centre has developed yet one more proposal (probably something like the fiftieth by now) to "get" the people that use the modems. Of

ATIENTION ALL U2 ENGINEERING STUDENTS ARTHUR SURVEYER AWARD Eligibility: Open to all students who have completed a minimum of 4 semesters of study as of May 1995.

To recognize excellence in new engineers, SNClAVALIN is offering an AWARD involving a four month paid summer employment opportunity in its offices to an engineering student. e program aim is to give students the opportunity to put theory into 'ractice and to acquire valuable working experience in engineering. This mployment opportunity will also enable the student to better respond o the needs of companies operating in an era of increasing market lobalization. 'lease see the Scholarships Bulletin Board, Office of the Dean, cdonald Engineering Building, Room 378 for more information.

INTERESTED STUDENTS ARE REQUESTED TO CONTACT: Judy Pharo Committee on Scholarships, Bursaries and Loans, Office of the Associate Dean, Student Affairs Macdonald Engineering Building Room 378

course, no one was really satisfied with it, and Mitch will be submitting yet another counteroffer. If you want more info, PLEEEEASE see Mitch or Nilesh; Spy is getting fed up repeating the same old info every single week.

And then came Sly. Basically he pleaded (short of begging) any and all Engineers to join the Quebec Engineering Competition (QEC) that will be held at Concordia this year. If you are interested in competing against other Engineers at a shot of $1200, this is the place for you. See Sly in the EUS office for more info.

Next he brought up Engineering Games 1996. It seems as though McGill will be hosting the Games next year, and lots ofpeople are needed to help organise it. So, if you are ~nterested in helping out, drop by and see Sly in the EUS office.

Finally (and not a minute too soon), came Robin, who went over the important EUS dates for the following few months. Important dates to remember: Feb 6-15: Nomination forms available for executive positions Feb 28-Mr 6: Campaigning for executive positions March 7-9: Elections Committee positions open up after elections, so keep your eyes open. So, in a nutshell, that's about it. And not a moment too soon - Spy was getting tired of typing. t'I!

Blood Drive!!!

111lI111

Michelle Gibson

H

appy new year everyone. We of the blood drive committee hope that you are all suitably recovered from CCES, E-week and Engineering games. This is important to us, since; as you may have noticed, we are right in the middle of Blood Drive 95. For those of you who are new, this is an annual engineering tradition. We organise it, and the McGill community at Ilarge shows up to donate blood.

This year, we are very concerned about gettipg more donors than last year. There is always a need for blood in Canada, and this is the only way that the Red Cross can supply the need.

One unit of blood that YOU donate can save up to 4 lives. IJn fact, the chances are quite high that at some point in your life {you were planning on living to be 89 right?} , you will need a blood transfusion yourself. So why not come out and donate? It only takes about 1 hour, you will get fed afterwards, and you can win ,prizes. Plus, it makes you feelREALLY GOOD about yourself.

A few facts that you might want to know ...

I -ilt ,i ssompletely, totally, one hundred percent safe to donate blood. No risk. Zip, zero, nada, none.

2 - You need to bring identification. This is so the Red Cross can believe that you ·are who you say you are.

3 - If y.ou can't donate: You can contribute -t o this important service by volunteering an hour or two ofyour time. We will always need people to help with registration, food, and talking to 'the donors. This is AS I MPORTANT as donating.

You can sign up outside of the common room.

It's never too late to help us out - Friday afternoon we'll still need help.

Thanks a lot in advance for your support, and I'm sure that we'll see you out at the blood drive.,this week. t'I!

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L:obtention d'un dipl6me de I'INRS vous permettra de devenir un parte· naire dynamique et de vous tailler une place de choix dans des domaines de haute priorite scientifique.

La fonnation de 2' et 3' cycle • Maitrise en sciences de I"eau IProfil avec memoire au sans memoirel • Doctorat en sciences de I"eau • Maitrise et doctorat en sciences de I'energie et des materiaux • Maitrise en sciences de la terre * lavec memoire au sans memoirel • Doctorat en sciences de la terre * • IProgrammes conjoints INRSUniversite Laval) • Maitrise et doctorat en oceano· graphie IProgrammes en association INRS-UOARI • Maltrise et doctorat en telecommunications • Maitrise en analyse et gestion urbaines IProgramme conjoint INRS· UOAM·ENAPI • Doctorat en etudes urbaines IProgramme conjoint INRS·UOAMI • Stages et etudes postdoctorales

Renseignements Telephone: (418) 654-2500

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Submission Deadline for the next issue is VVednesdayFebruary 1,1994

The Plumbers' Faucet, Wednesday, January 25~ 1995

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6

The Plumbers' Faucet, Wednesday, January 25, 1995

REACH I

f you're looking for a great summer job, don't forget that REACH Summer Science Camp is now accepting applications for the fullime summer positions of Science Camp Counsellor!

Counsellors design and demonstrate exciting science experiments and demonstrations for kids in grades 4-7 during seven one-week day camps held here at McGill. hey also design and implement REACH-OUT, la travelling science show visiting local schools.

If you like kids AND science and you ork well as a part of a team then fill out an ,application and drop it offin the REACH mailbox in the Iron Ring Room. Applications are available in posters in the McConnel lobby.

THE DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS IS FEBRUARY lst!!!

On This Day in History

PPOMOVIE MARATHON

LOVE IS IN THE AIR...

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ant to send a message to your favourite Valentine? Here's your opportunity - the next issue of the Faucet will have a section devoted to love-struck engineering types who, as we all know, say it better in print (?). For only a

few pennies, you, too can send a poem to the object of your affections... Keep an eye out for the table in the lobby where you can fill out your (anonymous) Valentine-Faucet form. ~

IIIIIII Champ and Point Five B

ring your pillow! Bring your sleeping bag! Cuddle up to your favourite PPO member! It's time for the annual PPO Charity Movie Marathon! Thirty hours of spine tingling drama, side-splitting comedy and justplain stupid stuffi (No, Mitch, the Champ refuses to play "Ace Ventura"!!) All participants have the option to either fill out a pledge form or just leave a donation in the hard hat! What's it all for? All the proceeds go to 'F ondation MIRA', one of the largest guide dog training schools in Canada This i.s agreatcharity-mostofyouhave probably seen their booth in various malls around the city.

They are the only guide dog trainers who train dogs for children and young people. A guide dog gives blind people the opportunity to have the freedom to do things by themselves but very few can afford the cost of training these dogs. That's where charities like MIRA come in. They will be setting up a booth outside the common room and will be bringing in a guide dog so that we can see what it feels like to walk with one. We'll be prov.iding popcom and selling food at regular intervals through the night. It doesn't matter if you're aPPO member ornot - all are welcome for as much time as you can spend. Pledge forms will be available in the EUS office starting Feb. 1. So come out and see your favourites - "King of the Kickboxers", six hours ofKeanu Reeves (we know he can't act), two minutes of Winona Ryder and ABSOLUTELYNO Kevin Costner!!!

----vALENTINES---------- 1 TO:

FROM:

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CHECK BOX IF YOU CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING NICE TO SAY AND WE WILL MAKE A MESSAGE FOR YOU

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25,1915

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Long-distance telephone service between York and San Francisco begins January 25.

Alexander Graham Bell, now 68, repeats the words of 1876 ("Mr. Watson, come here ...") to Thomas Watson in San Francisco, the call takes 23 minutes to go through, and it costs $20.70.

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Quotation of the week...

I PPO Movie Marathon

!

Feb. 9 and 10 10 am Thursday to 4 pm Friday ~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------!

Pla$IIC Mall's bathrool1l

Power Trip ... n the first Monday ofE-Week, after Night of hit him .... I don't think I should have to resort to the Drowned Table, a serious offence violence to deal with these kind of people -but do occurred. We realise these are isolated incidences I???

Robin Petri and do not reflect the behaviour ofthe majority of society. We received this note in our mailbox.

The following Friday, Robin approached one of his friends and told him that DearPOWE, his friends actions insulted several people. She On Monday night at "The Night of the informed him that this persons actions were Drowned Table", I had a bad female experience. inappropriate and that he could be denied access After the event, when everyone was leaving the to McConnell Engineering (they are not Common Room, I spotted someone with my scarf Engineering students). He was shocked by her around his neck, my mittens on his hands and my comment.

Way to go Robin! You did the right coat in his arms. I ran over to get my stuff from thing! The best thing you can do in that kind of him and this is the conversation that followed: situation, especial/yunder the influence ofalcohol, is to walk away. Violence is not the solution. me: Give me my coat!

Several other incidences have been him: I'll give you back your coat if you brought to our attention, so please if you or fuck me silly. anyone you know has ever experienced any kind me: (very shocked and not knowing what of sexual harassment or assault, or have been to say or do at this point) You're involved in any situation that made you feel lucky I don't slap you for that! uncomfortable, tell somebody. Feel free to come him: You're lucky I don't rape you! to POWE or leave a note in our mailbox. Just a me: Give me my fucking jacket (I reminder..... . grabbed my stuff and took off).

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So what should I have done? What could I have said? People told me I should have

Sexual Assault Centre 398-2700 Walksafe Network 398-2498

Cruising the Apocalypse with Captai.n Insanity 11IIIII

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Wanna B. Eng

hile its true that many people have seen Mitch Ingham in action, and many more claim to have done thi,ngs in his company, in reality, only a few have actually had the true Captain Insanity Experience. I am one of these people, and I feel compelled to tell about it to all others.

It happened Monday evening, the 24th of January, as I was walking home from the Library. As I crossed University at the Milton gates, a silver Porsche squealed to a stop in front of me, taking out a mailbox and two lugs from the fraternity on the comer. The window slid down, and from within a cloud of smoke came the Captain's familiar voice: "Dude, get in!" So in I got, and Mitch floored it through the red light, Jackyl blasting on the sound system.

"Christ, Mitch, where'd you get this carT' I yelled.

"I stole it. Peanut?" he said, passing me a huge bag of peanuts. "Careful, they're salted."

I noticed the white salt crystals covering his face and clothing. I hoped to God that the Porsche had airbags.

"Let's go get some girls!" He shrieked, and wrenched the steering wheel around and began to drive the wrong way down University. He took

the comer onto de Maissoneuve at 170 kmIh and narrowly missed the snowplough coming the other way. I had had enough at this point so I knocked Mitch out with the butt of the .44 I found on the floor in front of me. I shifted the car into neutral and eased it to a halt on the sidewalk, which took some effort given Mitch's body slumped over the wheel.

When Mitch came to he rubbed his eyes and looked at me curiously.

"WannaB,"hesaid, "Usually when people knock me out I have to kill them, but you did it with such care. So, I'm going to tell you about something so amazing that you won't even believe it. There's this party happening in a week. Its called Apocalypse Blues Pub, and it is guaranteed to be amazing. The PPO are making it impossible for us not to party, with prices so cheap its like its the end of the world. In the plain old, ordinary common room there's going to be tables, waiters and waitresses, spaghetti, nachos, chicken wings, games and prizes, bouncers, dancing naked people, you name it, man. The end of the world onlY' happens once, though. If you miss this one, too bad, man."

With that, the Captain kicked me in the stomach, stole my wallet and jumped back into the Porsche.

"It's on Friday, the third of February, dude. Be there!" he yelled, and then sped off down the sidewalk, leaving me doubled over in pain and penniless, but knowing where to find a good time. ~

The Plumbers' Faucet, Wednesday, January 25, 1995

7

Engineering Games Eric Bcnzacar

IIII1111

[-Games Committee '95

On January 4th, yet one more boring, uneventful, monotonousterm began... but not for all of us. From January 11th to 15th, forty-four incredibly spirited, adrenaline charged, McGill Engineering party animals joined together for a sleepless sojourn into the frosty Quebec tundra, known as Chicoutimi, for the fifth edition of the Engineering Games. There they met up with the other seven Quebec Engineering faculties. Polytechnique, Concordia, ETS, Sherbrooke, Laval, Universite du Quebec a Trois Rivieres, and Universite du Quebec a Chicoutimi.

Even though meeting at 9 am in the McConnell lobby on Wednesday morning before the six hour bus ride may seem painful, it was a breeze compared to being awoken at 6:00 am every morning to the delightful, charming sounds of the inebriated -delegation from ETS pounding away on their snare drums, blasting their trumpets, and hammering on every single solitary door of the hallway.

Considering that this pleasant rendition of a nuclear explosion would occur only a mere two hours after·having gone to bed, i~ had become quite aggravating by the end of the trip.

So, what could we possibly be doing up until 4 am you might ask? Simple - having an unbelievably good time.

There were design competitions in Chemical, Civil, Computer, Electrical and Mechanical Engineering. Weare proud to announce our team of Edith Asselin, Jennifer Crosby, Martin Ferland, Dan Lazaratos, Stephanie Nour, and Ariane Shuster saved McGill's pride by placing second in the Chemical Design competition - the best placement of all. The Mechanical team also deserves a hefty round of applause, as Karl Corriveau, Andre Kozakewicz, Gary Leblance, David Sefkind,Him You Ten and Andre Vovan just made it into the standings at third place. As for the other competitions, well, better luck next year, as they all placed in fifth.

One important note is the formidable second-place standing that the General Design team, consisting of Edith Asselin, Eric Benzacar, Pierre-Luc Bisaillon, Jerome Lavigne, Rami Lawandi, Jonathan Mandell, Andy McAllister, David Ohayon, Tanya Quick, Frank Segal and Todd Zickler, managed to acquire. This marks a historical event, as it is the first time ever, in the life of the Engineering Games, that McGill has actually done well in the General Design category. I guess that staying up

1111111

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$$ GOVERNMENT PROGS & FULL-TIME JOBS$$

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n my last article, I promised that in this edition I would be providing you with information about a government program that you could all use to help you get a

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job upon "",''''''on. 10 I "'" go ono b,,"'" Thtt, i, •

until 4 am working was well worth the effort after all.

After lunch came the sports, which consisted ofTriathlon, Soccball, Gladiator Chess, Hockey Cossum and Ice Fishing. Sadly, McGill did very poorly in the sports category, losing in the second round of all sports, except the Triathlon and Ice Fishing. Remarkably, even without catching anything, the Ice Fishing team of

Christine Ahn, Josyanne Cote, Jean-Phillipe Dionne, Annie Hebert and Emmanuelle Laprise placed second - the best McGill placing in sports.

Maybe it had something to do with their ancient ritual fish-chants they sang around the hole in the

Companies qualifying for the program are those who: employ between 2 and 500 employees; have been in existence for more that 12 months, and whioh are either manufacturing, recycling, scientific labs, or computer service companies serving the manufacturing sector, Le. it covers most 5MBs. This volet ofthe program helps diminish the risk to an employer of hiring a young graduate by paying a portion of his or her salary over their frrstthree years at the company. For example, for 22 year-old engineering graduates seeking jobs

river.

That night came the Talent Show, which we are extremely proud to report that we WON!!! The group of Christine Ahn, Donna Capitanio, Josyanne Cote, Paulina Gomez, Annie Hebert, Nootan Kumar, Puja Mahajan, Voula Mitrakos, Stephanie Nour, Ariane Shuster, Anthi Tsonis, Martin Ferland, Peter Georgiou, Sylvain Gregoire, David Ohayon, Sebastien Piche and

Frank Segal simply kicked butt over the rest of the competition. Performing a similar lip sync to the one from the Engineering/Management Variety show. With just about everyone yelling and cheering from the table tops, there was little

doubt that McGill would place anywhere but first. If you want, you can even drop by the EUS office to see the trophy!

The following day hosted the second round of sports and the Genie en Herbes competition. Proudly, McGill was the only complete delegation that showed up for the 8:30 am competition, to see four of its teammates, namely Pierre-Luc Bisaillon, Martin Ferland, Stephanie Nour, and David Rivard, succumb (to place second overall) in the final seconds to Polytechnique by the narrowest of all margins - a mere 40 points. Congratulations go out to Martin, however, who, in one round against Sherbrooke, single-handedly answered for 190 points out of a team total of 330.

The last day consisted ofthe fmal round of sports, the debate, and the closing banquet.

Unfortunately, McGill'steamofMartin Ferland and Stephanie N our did not fair too well in the debate, even though most people believed otherwise. Nonetheless, the once-again complete McGill delegation, can be proud to say that Marty and Steph did their best under the consequences. Trois Rivieres won it this year.

Then came the semi-formal closing banquet. To be honest, it was quite a shock to see some of the people that you had befriended over the previous few days, dressed up in a suit and tie, or in a skirt and blouse. After being served food fit for a king (and a blueberry pie the size of the McGill debt), we were "blessed" with the chance to experience the consequences ofaHydro-Electric blackout. Nonetheless, the awards were handed out one at a time, by candlelight.

Anyways, once all the trophies were handed out, all that remained was the "Delegation par Excellence" to be awarded to the university that placed the best throughout the entire games. This year, McGill was forced to relinquish the trophy to Polytechnique, who won by one, single, solitary point over the delegation of Sherbrooke. Way to go Poly!!!

In order to officially close the fifth Engineering Games, Pierre-Luc Bisaillonjoined this year's Engineering Games president, Martin Simard, in the lowering and in the ceremonial exchange ofthe Engineering Games flag, since the sixth edition of the Games will be held right here at McGill next year. (See elsewhere in this issue of the Faucet for more information about Engineering Games 1996).

Finally, to end it all,justabout everyone stayed up partying into the wee hours of the morning (6 - 7 am) for one fmal farewell binge.

And with free king-can beers, who could resist?!

Ofcourse the bus ride back was rather quiet... ~

$$ GOVE

the company; however, the supervisor does not necessarily have to be an employee, e.g. I could probably play the role of your supervisor - and I would do so if requested - although it may be a little difficult to justify this to the government if A asecond volet of the program is called you are indeed going to work for the summer in "ETUDIANTS-STAGIERES EN SCIENCES ET the Great White North!

EN TECHNOLOGIE". The objective of this This latter volet is being updated for program is to allow you to gain work experience 1995 - but, whereas "updated" often means in your fields during the summer vacation period BUDGET CUTS in "governmentese" - on this - the company must hire you for a period of 8 to occasion the program is being expanded.

14 weeks between April 1 and October 1. The Hence, this program represents a real asset in helping you get a real job for the

RNMENT PROGS & PART-TIME JOBS $$

I,wnmtt "houldb",,,ivingm,,,

y.HE- LATEST Nro·OM THE' O· . .F .A ' . .L I

program that eXIsts that can help " I you ALL get relevant . . .

SUMMER WORK EXPERIENCE in your field. Such jobs normally pay better than a "McJob". with 5MBs in Montreal, the government will pay However, MORE IMPORTANTL Y they also 40% oftheir salary in the first year at the company, look much more impressive on your resume to and 20% in each of the subsequent two years. If any potential employer when you apply for a full- your looking for a job in the regions of Quebec, time job upon graduating! the government will pay an even higher Both funding programs come under the contribution! The limits on the amount of money Quebecgovernmentprogram "LAPROGRAMME a company can receive for each engineer is $40,000 DE SOUTIEN A L 'EMPLOI STRATEGIQUE". in the central regions of the province, increasing The first volet to look at is is the "SOUTIEN A up to $55,000 if you're going to work in the Great L 'EMP L 01 SCIENTIFIQUE". The objective White North. ofthis program isto help small and medium-sized What's the catch? There isn't one businesses (SMBs) in Quebec to hire engineers providing you're a Canadian citizen and thereby increasing their capabilities in industrial permanent resident in Quebec and providing, of R&D, quality control, design, production course, that you haven't already worked at that engineering and technology transfer. particular company.

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eligibility criteria for the companies are the same as those outlined above. With this program, the company receives $120 per week for a university student - providing it pays you, the student, at least $300 per week.

The catch for this volet? F or the student, you must first register at LE PLACEMENT ETUDIANT DU QUEBEC (once registered, you will have access to the companies who approach the agency looking for students under the program oryou can find your own employer) and you must be returning to your studies in the Autumn. For the company, it must have someone available who can "supervise" you during your time with

mformatlOn on the "ETUDIANTS-STAGIERES EN SCIENCES ET EN TECHNOLOGIE" over the next few weeks, although the new documentation for 1995 will not be available until March 1995. I will keep you informed of the news - and feel free to contact me ifyou require more information about any of the above. ~ .

Mark Hollingworth _ Director, Office of Liaison with Industry (OLI).

(Mark@engl.lan.mcgill.ca)

~

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8

The Plumbers' Faucet, Wednesday, January 25, 1995

QE,C 1995 IIIIII11

Sylvain Gregoire

he eleventh edition of the Quebec Engineering Competition will be held on the 9, 10, II and 120fFebruary, 1995 at Concordia University. This competition gives engineering students a unique opportunity to showcase their communication skills, technical abilities and scientific knowledge. It is also a great occasion for the next professional engineers to meet with their future colleagues to exchange ideas.

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or government policies. The seminar of forty minutes will be followed by a question period from the judges. Teams are limited to two members.

Extemporaneous Debate Using parliamentary-style debate format, competitors defend or refute a previously undisclosed resolution. Judging ofthese debates will be based on argument and evidence, organisation and analysis, delivery, ingenuity and wit. Teams are limited to two members.

ELIGIBILITY AND JUDGING The competition itselfis the regional preliminary to the Canadian Engineering Competition.

Winners from each category of the QEC automatically qualify for the national competition which will be held on March 3-4, 1995 at the University of Alberta in Edmonton. QEC is entirely organised by students and made possible each year thanks to the support of many sponsors who believe in the great potential of Quebec's engineering students (Northern Telecom, Pratt & Whitney, Hydro-Quebec, Ordre des Ingenieurs du Quebec). We sincerely hope you will participate and be part of this great event.

The competition is open to all undergraduate engineering students registered at a Quebec university. Prominent professionals from industry and academia are selected to evaluate projects.

Eligible projects can be: - A project conducted during ajob or a course - A project you will prepare for the QEC 1995 - An oral presentation

WHY GET INVOLVED IN QEC 1995?

THEME: The Challenge of Tomorrow DESCRIPTION OF CATEGORIES Students are invited to compete, individually or in groups, in one of the following categories.

Entries are accepted in both English and French.

Entrepreneurial Desi2n Competitors propose a marketable product or process not currently available in Canada Judges evaluate these projects on the basis of merit, cost, potential job creation and market analysis. There will be a fifteen minute oral presentation followed by a question period from the judges. Teams are limited to four members.

Corporate Desi2n Competitors solve an engineering problem provided by a company chosen by themselves or through a list supplied by the sponsoring companies. There will be a fifteen minute oral presentation followed by a question period from the judges. Teams are limited to four members.

Explanatory Communication This category demonstrates the competitors' communication abilities. Participants have forty minutes to explain a technical process in lay terms. Presentations will be followed by a question period from the judges. Teams are limited to two members.

Editorial Communication In this category, competitors identify and outline an issue regarding the social impact oftechnology on society and propose a solution. The solution can be in the form ofproposed personal, corporate

Your participation in this competition will be a . great complement to your university work allowing you: to demonstrate your talent as acompetentengineer to improve your public speaking skills to meet and converse with members of industry the possibility to qualify for the national fmal to win interesting prizes. For each category: 1st place prize $1200 2nd place prize

$750

3rd place prize $500 Plus many excellence awards ($500 to $1000)!

McGill hosted QEC 1994 with great success and five McGill engineering undergraduates went on to the Canadian Engineering Competition to try to win more money.

GENERAL INFORMATION

WHY DID I SEND PEOPLE TO CCES? 1111III

Peter Abramowicz

n January 2nd, eight delegates were sent by McGill to Fredericton New Brunswick to attend the Canadian Congress of Engineering Students. SO WHAT? Odds are many of you do not know what the CCES is or how it helps you.

That is about to change!

The CCES is possibly the only time in the year where members of student societies from all across Canada get together and share information. Discussion range from how to have better communication with our professional engineering society to engineering competitions to student involvement. This year specifically there was a great deal discussion on Entrepreneurship, not surprising since that was the theme of the conference.

So what happened this year? I'm glad you asked. Having attended many meetings, workshops, and lectures, yours truly has an inside track on the issues of the week.

One of the issues that needs some recognition is Project Magazine. The whole magazine needs recognition. Over the past few years Project Mag has become more and more professional but harder and harder for anyone to read. Well expect that to change. Major revisions are being done to the Project Magazine style so that when you pick it up you'll be able to read it.

The catch of course is you have to pick it up.

Project Mag, is one of the few ways we have to communicate nationally. Ifyou have any interest in what is going on in engineering across the country pick up a copy and read it. You might find something you want to have here at McGill.

You might even find an article on something you've participated in!

Once we are on the topic of publications, let's talk text books. ESSCO execs were mandated. to fmd out why our books cost so much and here is what the publisher they approached told them.

O

Engineering texts cost so much because of: - there are a lot of graphics [every formula is a graphic] - high quality paper - use cloth cover bindings - colours are expensive - constant updates - some originate overseas - compensation for reselling [ie used book sales] So what can we do about it? Not much on our own it seems. We can lobby our professors to ask the printers to remove some of these things. For example, uni-colour texts on lower grade paper with spiral bindings would be significantly cheeper. Our other option is to look into a central buyer oftext books for engineering students but until different universities start using the same texts this is unfeasible. Had enough?

Heck that was only the first day.

One thing all of us would like to make better is our education. How can we do that?

Chew 01). this idea for a moment. What if all government payments to universities stopped?

What if instead the government gave you a bursary and you had to give it to the university you attend? You, the student, would be the one funding the universities and they would know that. Do any of you doubt for a second that your status would rise. Classes would be improved to the best they can be made because ifthey are substandard they know you will go elsewhere and take their funding with you. University will be about the student not the professor.

There was a great deal more discussed and in much more detail but this is a newspaper article and not a full report. The topics I would have some information on are funding the entrepreneur outside of Quebec, New Brunswick's information highway, what to look for when hiring, and how to brainstorm properly.

If you have any questions about any of the topics mentioned or anything else that went on in the congress please contact me or read the report which should be made available in a few weeks. ~

All participants are required to complete a registration form and include a brief summary of their project. The deadline for applications is January 30, 1995. The registration fee is $100 per person, which is actually very cheap considering that it includes all meals for three days, accommodation at the Queen Elizabeth Hotel for three nights, a casino night and a closing banquet. To obtain the registration form, pamphlets, a tentative schedule and for any other information, please contact Sylvain, your VP External, at 398-4396 (vpext@eus.mcgill.ca) or get in touch with the organising committee at 848-2893 (cqi 1995@alcor.concordia.ca Get ready, QEC '95 is waiting for you! ~

McGill Hosts the Quebec Engineering Games '96 III1111

Sylvain Gregoire

es, my brothers and sisters, the time has come to show to the rest of Quebec what we're made of. The Quebec Engineering Games will have its 6th edition held in Montreal right here at McGill. The first five editions were held at Laval U., Sherbrooke U., Trois-Rivieres, Polytechnique and last week in Chicoutimi. The event is due to come back to Montreal and since we won the games last year at Polytechnique, it only makes sense that we take our turn to display the amazing organisation capabilities and wit of McGill Engineering students.

Weare looking for seven (7) keen people to take on this fantastic project. Being part of the organising committee for the Quebec Engineering Games is a great opportunity to develop your communication and leadership skills. It's also your chance to make tons of new friends from McGill and from all the other engineering faculties around Quebec. Preparation to host the Quebec Engineering Games in January '96 takes about a year, which is why we are approaching you right away. There are lots of

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ways to get involved and help out for the hosting of this event. You can volunteer to help setting up the academic competitions, sports, Reach for the Top, closing banquet or Genie Show (talent show). You can also volunteer to be a guide for one of the outside delegations, if you prefer.

Finally, you can run for one of the following executive positions of the Quebec Engineering Games '96.

President Overlook and distribute the work ofthe organising committee, act as spokesperson. This position is already filled by Mr. Pierre-Luc Bisaillon.

fmd an honourary president.

VPLodging Find accommodations in a hotel for all the delegations and make plans for meals at the hotel.

Coordinate-the opening ceremony and the closing banquet.

VP Logistics Organise transportation between the events, fmd team clothing for all staff members and participants, make plans for evenings out.

Treasurer Handle all the fmances ofthe Engineering Games '96.

VP Academic Competitions Supervise each departmental competition and the general design competition, set smaller committees for the conception of each of these competitions.

Secretary Write up sponsorship documents, take minutes in committee meetings, write promoting articles for engineering newspapers.

VP Sports Find four or five original sporting events and coordinate these events. Reserve gyms, pools, rinks, etc. Set up schedules and find referees.

VP Sponsorship Get sponsors for the event (money and materials),

If you're interested in one of these executive positions, please submit a small text

(half a page max.) stating your name, phone number, qualifications and why you want to be part of the Quebec Engineering Games '96 organising committee. The text is to be put in the Eng. Games box in the EUS office (Rm MD278) and the deadline to submit these applications is on Thursday, February 2nd. If the number of applicarits requires it, brief interviews will be run on the following Monday, February 6th. The schedule for that will be posted on Friday, February 3rd in the EUS office. The distribution of tasks shown above will be subject to change and adjustments once the organising committee is selected.

Ifyou would like to become a volunteer for the Quebec Engineering Games '96, please give in a piece of paper with your name, phone number and any particular interest you may have in the organisation. Put it in the Eng. Games box in the EUS office (Rm MD278).

The Quebec Engineering Games at McGill will be the best ones ever. Get involved and join the fun!

Sylvain Gregoire, VP External ~