The Plumber's Faucet

Page 1

McGILL NIGHTLINE

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398-2498 McGill Engineering Publication Society

Vol. 11 No.9

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Wednesday, January 25,1995

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J),AfI NG,(PROB lEM5 ??? Here's the solution Ammanda Huganl{iss

1111111 T t' s that time of year again.

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Valentines Day .lis just around the corner and people are starting to feel sad and down because they just haven't found that special someone of their dreams that they can send a message to in the February 13th issue of The Faucet (Check this issue for a blurb on what the hell I'm talking about). Well dispair no longer. The cure for your problem has arrived and it's as easy as picking the ticks off a dead monkey's back. One of the problems of trying to fmd your perfect mate is that you spend months and months trying to get to know the person that you suspect might be your dream partner only to find that they're an inconsiderate, disgusting slob, and that the man, or woman, that you were destined to spend the rest of your life with, has probably walked right past you and met someone else. Now you're going to have to spend the rest of your life in the miserable, lonely darkness. Well worry no longer. This revolutionary new method is a very simple two step process. It involves, first, describing yourself and then selecting the qualities you look for in a companion. You'll quickly be able to tell who

your perfect match is, by a simple glance. No need to get to know losers. STEP 1: From the list below, select the qualities that best describes your character ("I ..... "). Add up the numbers that appear nextto the qualities you have selected. This is your very own "personality ill". Now take a thick black indelible marker and write this number on your forehead. You might want to get a friend to do this for you since it's important that it's clear and easily legible from 30 feet away.

who's "Personality ill" (the number on their forehead) matches the number on your hand. This is your perfect mate. There are also other benefits from this method of partner matching. If you find a person who's "Personality ill" matches your "Personality ill" then obviously you have much in common and this person may be for you. CSCEEvents On the other hand, if you believe in the school of "Opposites attract" the person you're looking for For the new year, we're going to have a whole should have a ill of: slew of services that you Civils are going to need to face getting a Job, we're also going to have fun their "Personality ill" = 137438953471 - your things too! "Personality ill"

STEP 2: Go through the list a second time and select the qualities that you look for in a partner (guys, try to refrain from describing your mother). Add up all the numbers that are next to the qualities you selected for this person. Write this number, in indelible black marker, on your hand. NOTE: The list was w"'1piled describing your qualities. Therefor, you need to change all the "my" to "their". Ex. "Pickmynoseinpublic" would be "pick their nose in public", unless your looking for someone to pick your nose for you.

This person will be completely opposite from you and you could very well be destined to marry and have 17 children. In the next issue of The Faucet I'll be examining what to do once you've located the partner of your dreams. Among other things, I'll ~plam how to remove tl>e black marks on your forehead, since they'll no longer be required. Until next time. ~

Now its easy. Next time you're in class (or anywhere else) simply look for the person

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CSST Course, a Safety Course which is absolutely necessary for Engineers who want to work, or even walk on a construction site. Detail to come.

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We've got a list of English technical terms and their French equivalents, indispe~blefor1he bilingual Engineer, for sale, come to the civil room and see an executive.

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The Annual Concordia Bridge Building Competition is to be held on the 10th of March, 1995. The Regsitration form must be sent in beforethe31stofJanuary 1995. Maximum of5 teams, the cost is $75 per team, and you have to build a bridge of one metre span out of popsicle sticks white glue and dental floss. We are subzidizing all CSCE members. Come talk to an EXEC.

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The two Concrete toboggan teams will be displaying their masterpeices at Complex Desjardins on the 19th and 20th ofJanuary between lOam and 4pm.

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TABLE OF QUALITIES

If you want more details on any of the above, please come to the Civil Room at noon, and an Exec will be there, or you can email me, Mark Sanctuary at: Wahoo@emf.lan.McGill.CA

P.P.o. Calendar SUPERBOWL PARTY Sunday, January 29 Common Room

APOCALVPSEBLUESPUB Friday, February 3 (the Blues Pub to end all Blues Pubs)

MOVIE MARATHON for MIRA (guide dog association) Thursday February 9 Friday February 10 (Common Room)

Continued on page 2

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