The Return of the Bandito Issue

the plumber’s

FAUCET

vol. 45 no.1 • Wednesday, Aug. 25, 2010

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The Return of the Bandito

Plumber’s Masthead Editor-in-Chief Daniel Keresteci Copy Editor Marc Chalfant Writers Allan Cyril Marc Chalfant William Farrell Andrew Komar Amanda Colella Photographer Ali Najmabadi

Special Thanks Copi-EUS O-Week Committee Disclaimer The Plumber’s Faucet is a publication of the Engineering Undergraduate Society. The views and opinions expressed within are soley that of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the EUS or the McGill Faculty of Engineering.

For more information, questions, and comments please contact

Letter from the Organizers Dear Froshies,

So- you’ve unpacked your bags, set up your room, and your parents just left. Or, if you’re a Montréaler, you got up and had breakfast like every other day. Regardless! Either way you’ve had almost two decades of preparation for your time in McGill Engineering. A dozen years of tests, homework, studying, and more, all to get you to this point in your academic career- and what a marvelous achievement that is! To study at the finest institution in the land- or the northland anyway.

HOWEVER- nothing will prepare you for the epicness that will be BANDITO-WEEK! Not your family get-togethers and certainly not your pathetic little high school house parties. For by accepting this invitation to BanditO-Week, you have accepted an invitation to party with the ENGINEERS! Notoriously the rowdiest bunch on campus, engineers will go to no end in search of a good time and a cheap drink. Yes, for at engineering parties, singing is mandatory and pants are optional. You will learn songs and hymns that are most likely banned in some countries and trek across the beautiful Île de Montréal in a legendary quest for the runaway bandido!

While O-Week is always a great time, this year you’re in for a particularly special treat. For the first time in McGill Engineering history- and it is a rich history indeed- you will have a legendary party at an undisclosed location. In order to reach this location- and earn your fabled hard hat- you will need to complete a series of tasks assigned to you. In addition to this party the first night, you will learn your way from bar to bar on the second day, then on the third, party at the beach before dressing in your best bedsheets and attending the famous Toga PubNite! Furthermore, there will be a design competition, plenty of food, and a seemingly endless wealth of inside information to be gotten from the Frosh Leaders.

Buckle up- your time at McGill is just beginning and it will surely be an epic journey. The start of this journey though is BandidO-Week, and it is an essential part in learning “the ways of the engnieer.” This only happens once so don’t miss this only opportunity to truly celebrate the commencement of your new life at McGill.

¡hasta la vista, ayayayayayay!

Yours Truly,

The 2010 O-Week Organizing Committee

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Engineering Pride 1 Needs title

by Andrew Komar

Welcome to McGill, Engineering Class of 2014, I wish you good luck in not getting too lost while finding your classes in one of our hallowed, labyrinthian buildings. Remember, it is called the engineering “complex” for a reason. However, since you have been accepted here by our simple and friendly admissions process, I think I can safely assume you have some brain cells. This is good, because the next four years will actually make you work for the title of ‘Engineer’.

You must understand, there is a certain amount of pride associated with that title. Some of my artsie friends have referred to my pride as a ‘superiority complex’, as if that is necessarily a bad thing. The fact of the matter is, Engineers create our world. Not in some bullshit ‘socio-political’ or ‘spiritual’ way, but literally.

We are the (wo)men who walk at the border between possible and actual, and through the sheer power of our throbbing equations, force the line ever farther into uncharted territory. The amount of credit society will afford us for these stupendous achievements: approximately zero. If you are looking for fame and fortune, you’re in the wrong place.

McGill treats us all like cogs in a machine, numbered with 9 meaningless digits. They’ll force feed you so much information, so many facts and diagrams and endless assignments, that you may feel like you won’t even make it

McGill Engineers Rule The World - MERTW, get used to it.

to the next Blue’s Pub. At those times especially, look to your classmates who are all undoubtedly suffering with you. In that knowing gaze, as hopeless as it may be, is the essence of what it is to be an Engineer.

It is the spirit of solidarity that motivates much of what we do. It’s found in a server at Open Air Pub, who spends her free time providing a (beer-licious) service that benefits all of McGill. The spirit is in the room late nights in the design lab, when the only thing keeping you working is the fact that your entire group’s success depends on working well into the next morning. It’s in your patient explanation of eigenvalues (oh, just you wait) to a friend as the WebWork deadline ticks closer, or in the notes you borrow from them

because your prof is speaking an unknown language. It’s the nature of the beast: you only survive if you stick together.

Us old fogies here at McGill understand this, and that’s why we are always so eager to meet all of you froshies. You are the next generation of Engineers, the same people who will be in charge of the best faculty at McGill (because we already rule this campus), and after that go on to create the whole freaking world. It’s ok to be proud of being the best, especially when you work as hard as we do to get there.

Just stick together, and with us, and you will get there.

MERTW!

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Blues Pub & OAP

by William Farrell

Congratulations- you’ve made it to the most elite program in the most elite university in the country!

Engineers have long been famousor from the perspective of other faculties, notorious- for having incredibly inflated egos and vastly superior minds. But why shouldn’t we? When artsies are busy talking about anthropomorphic climate change, engineers are solving it; when politicians talk about their society’s superior technology, the engineers build it. Businessmen are busy pushing money around while engineers are designing ways to make everyone’s life safer and more enjoyable.

Not only do engineers have

superior skills though, we have superior culture as well! There are engineering traditions that have been passed down for decadessongs, hymns, games, pranks, and old newspapers that have long since been banned from campus!

We run, by far, the most successful student event on campus- Open Air Pub. OAP is a joyous time of year, held during the last week of August and first week of September.

Here you will find BBQ’d treats, refreshing beverages, live music, and no shortage of friends catching up with each other. What you will also find are dozens of hard working engineers who organize and operate the entire event, hauling hundreds and hundreds of cases of beer back and forth while chanting Godiva’s Hymn.

Lorne M. Trottier Building: DOTA Headquaters

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Blues Pub 4:30 - 8:30 every Friday EUS Common room Starting on the next Friday after OAP ends will be another long-standing engineering tradition: Blues Pub. From 16h3021h00 every Friday, a different department or committee will run this student bar full of McAuslan beverages, grilled cheeses, and beer die. It’s certainly the most affordable, well-attended bar around, and of course it’s run by none other than the engineers!

But most of all in engineering, you will find the tightest community of all the faculties. Everyone looks out for everyone else and almost all are down for a good time, any time.

So welcome to Montréal, to McGill, and to the Faculty of Engineering. Unless you are trying

really hard not to, you will no doubt have an amazing time. Don’t forget- McGill engineers have a lot to be proud about- both on and off campus. Your degree will become a ticket to employers who understand the rigor of the program and the skills it means you have learned. On campus, it means you are instantly part of a great group of peers who work hard and play hard together. I hope to see you all around at all of the legendary EUS events like O-Week, OAP, Blues Pub, and E-Week. Make sure to read the Pipeline for any updates and events!

Good luck on all your endeavors!

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Open Air Pub

“The Best Place on Earth”

Aug 23 - Sept 3 11h00 - 21h00 18+ ID required

Volunteers Needed

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Go get yourself some services

by Marc Chalfant Apart from all of the clubs, publications, events, and institutional dealings that members of the EUS facilitate, there are a number of services they provide that make life a little bit easier on us engineers.

Here are a few that you will inevitably be well acquainted with by the time you graduate. These services are all located in the northern corner of the McConnell Engineering building, ground floor.

Copi-EUS Probably the most widely utilized service EUS offers, CopiEUS is truly the best place in the McGill area to go if you need any service typically offered at a copystore. They’ll copy, print, bind, and even make you course-packs and textbooks for select classes, all at the lowest prices around. Even better is the fact that you can walk up and tell them, for example, that you’d like to bind your CIVE207 lab report; not only will they know that this report is for Dr. Manatakos, but they’ll advise you to his exact preferences. Point being, if you’re an engineer, there is no reason to go anywhere else.

G-Store The General Store – The name sums it up. Stocked with plenty of basic school supplies and snacks at reasonable prices, as well as hot coffee in the morning, the General Store has saved me in many a preexam, “Oh Shit, I forgot my ____!” moments.

Frostbite

Lockers EUS owns a number of conveniently located lockers in the McConnell Engineering building that are available for student use.

If you’re looking for an alternative to lugging all of your winter gear + textbooks around, stop into the EUS office and ask about renting one for the year.

McGill Engineers Rule The World - MERTW, get used to it.

Another essential service delivered by EUS, Frostbite boosts morale and fills the stomachs of hungry students by offering a number of delicious flavors of ice cream. Frostbite enhances ice cream’s natural morale-boosting properties by offering a free serving to anyone who can present an exam on which they’ve received a 30% or lower. Deals like Toonie Tuesday garner immense popularity, so be prepared to stand in their snaking line that forms weekly.

Common Room The Common Room – Located directly below Copi-EUS, the EUS Common Room is a great multipurpose room. You can go there to study, play pool, watch TV, or just chill out. Its sofas, tables, and open space make it a great place for club gatherings and working on group projects. But be warned, if you come to study on Friday afternoons, you may be surprised to run into the hurricane of beer and engineering spirit that is Blues Pub.

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O-Week Schedule 2010 We d n e s d a y A u g u s t 2 6 18:00 – Meet your Group on

Burnside/Adams Field. Introductions Play Ice-breaker games. Sing Eng songs, etc.

18:15 - Leave for Scavenger Hunt 20:00 - Buses leave from reservoir Field for Secret Location 20:30 - Secret Location FIESTA!!

12:00am - After party at club Seven.

Thursday August 27 8:00 – Engineers Without Borders

Breakfast Hot waffles will be served!

10:00 – EWB Design Competition on Burnside Field (fenced park outside Macdonald engineering building) Supplies will be given to you before the competition. You are judged on completing the task, originality of your design, complexity of design, use of materials, and anything else we can think of.

12:00 – Lunch at OAP Each froshie will be given one drink ticket and one food ticket. They are only good for that hour and cannot be used during regular OAP hours.

You can use their drink ticket in exchange for a soft drink or Food. We will be taking all underagers to Laser quest during this time.

13:30 – MERTW on Lower Field 14:00 to 3:00 – Bar Tour Each stop is approximately an hour with 15 to 30 minutes for travel time.

Please respect your group schedule. You will not be allowed in the bar if it is not your assigned stop.

Please take advantage of the drink specials so you don’t get ripped off!

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B a r To u r S t o p s

Route A

14:30 - 15:30 – Gerts 1 Free beer 15:30 - 16:30 – McCleans 15$ 3L

towers, 18$ for 4 shots of Jameson.

Absolutely noone downstairs!!

16:30 - 17:30 –Sir Winston Churchill 3.50 beers. Tip included.

Food Stop outside of Basha 17:30 - 18:45 – Boite a Karaoke 17.50$ Large Pitchers + Free Nachos 18:45 - 20:30 – Cock and Bull 17.50$ Large Pitchers 20:30 - 3:00 – McKibbins 3$ beers, 2 for 1 shots

Route B

14:30 - 15:30 – McCleans 15$ 3L

towers, 18$ for 4 shots of Jameson.

Absolutely noone downstairs!!

15:30 - 16:30 –Gerts1 Free beer 16:30 - 17:30 –Sir Winston Churchill.

3.50 beers. Tip included.

Food Stop outside of Basha 17:30 - 18:45 – Cock and Bull 17.50$ Large Pitchers 18:45 - 20:30 – Boite a Karaoke 17.50$ Large Pitchers + Free Nachos 20:30 - 3:00 – McKibbins 3$ beers, 2 for 1 shots

8:30-9:30 – Coffee and Doughnuts in

Common Room 9:20 – First Engineering Buses leave for Beach Club McTavish Gates 11:15 –Second Engineering Buses leave for Beach Club McTavish Gates 10:00 – 16:30 – Beach Club 12:30 – Lunch provided by Dagwoods 17:00 – Buses leave from Beach Club 19:00 to 21:00 – Free time Frosh Leaders are encouraged to take Froshies to dinner (OAP Anyone?).

21:00 – TOGA PUBNITE!!! Toga Toga TOGA TOGA TOGA!!!!! In the Shatner Ballroom The best party in Frosh! Winners of Frosh prizes (Best Leaders, best froshie, best group…) announced.

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McGills Best Kept Secrets

by Marc Chalfant

So you’re here at McGill, having risen from the ashes after Frosh, and you’ve begun to consider going to classes. Before you know it, you’ll have a bit of spare time on your hands between classes, on the weekends, and even during study breaks. Here is a short list I’ve compiled from my own experience to provide some basic suggestions of things not to miss. By no means do I even begin to scratch the surface of the vast array of offerings from McGill and Montreal, but at the very least it’s a place to start.

Food: Midnight Kitchen

I really enjoy food.

That being said, Montreal hosts an innumerable amount of restaurants that I would love to recommend, ones that surpass the following in many ways.

But, between 8:30 classes and 6:30 labs, your ball and chain may not allow the most expansive eating arrangements. So, when you’re stuck on campus looking for cheap, quick, GOOD food, consider this option: Midnight Kitchen – SSMU building Rm 302, 12:00PM – Enter the front door, take the stairs up until they stop, and turn to the door in the corner on your right.

-- Every weekday, MK provides a FREE vegan lunch to anyone who wants it.

Their Mission Statement sums it up: “The Midnight Kitchen is a non-profit, volunteer-run collective dedicated to providing affordable, healthy food to as many people as possible.”

With outstanding nutrition, and often times more food than you can eat, including a dessert, this option is unmatched in my eyes. Remember to bring a plate/ Tupperware and utensils, because they only serve you if you have something to put their delicious food in.

The Plate Club aims to reduce waste by lending out washable plates and silverware. To borrow their equipment, find their table set up one floor below MK, and trade them your McGill ID until you finish with their wares.

Non-Eng Club: McGill Outdoors Club I’m an engineer. So are you.

So is the guy standing beside you, and the one you’re about to sit down next to in class, study with for your exam, and spend the following 13 hours writing your lab report with. Rinse, dry, repeat.

Every once in a while it can be a nice thing to peel your eyes off of your favorite LCD screen , step out of the tedium, and spend a weekend with (*gasp*) nonengineers, thinking about anything but Newton’s laws.

Many student organizations provide this type of opportunity, but the McGill Outdoors Club dominates all others in this field.

You can get off campus, out of Montreal, and even out of the country at a relatively low cost (mostly just gas money), and trips are so frequent that you can often times decide on a whim that you’d like to go.

You can disappear for anywhere between a few hours and a few days.

Typical offerings include hiking, biking, and climbing, but outliers

like sled-dogging and sky-diving are not unheard-of.

Whether it’s the first time your skin has seen the light of day, or you’re a certified mountain man, the MOC has something for you. Just sign up for the MOC mailing list, which I recommend creating a new address for, and your inbox will be inundated with more notifications and offers than you can imagine.

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Student Service: Nightline I love McGill, don’t get me wrong, but they really don’t make it easy for a student to get the help they need. McGill Nightline does.

Described by a representative as an, “information, listening and referral service that’s confidential, anonymous and non-judgmental,” their trained staff will pick up the phone ready to help you in whatever way possible. They’re particularly helpful in finding specific information about the many student services McGill offers, including figuring out which service will best address your issue.

Calling Nightline can save you hours of research and bureaucratic goose-chasing with the multitude of info they have compiled over years of service. Apart from all of that, you can call them for any reason whatsoever, whether to tell you a joke, give you directions home, or even just to talk.

You can reach McGill Nightline at 514-396-MAIN Hours: 8pm to 1am (during Frosh) 6pm to 3am (school year)

Event: 4-Floors With over 30,000 students enrolled at McGill, it comes as no surprise that there are hundreds if not thousands of parties and events hosted by McGill organizations every year. An event renowned for its staggering turnout and reliably accurate hype, the 4-Floors party is NOT one to miss.

Holding a party on all four floors of the SSMU (Shatner) building, and packing it to max capacity has its party advantages.

Strategically planning this party in conjunction with the one day of the year when it is perfectly acceptable, if not expected, to consume as much alcohol as possible while wearing as little clothing as possible makes 4-Floors a perennial favorite.

Every year, hundreds of students show up clad in some of the most ridiculous and creative costumes. Students from every year and faculty turn out, which makes it one of the few truly wholeschool events of the year.

For those with short attention spans, you’ll particularly enjoy the fact that each of the four floors has its own vibe and music, all of which you can move freely between.

Planned for the Thursday before Halloween, SSMU puts tickets on sale a few weeks in advance, which sell out soon after, so jump on them while you can.

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Design Teams: Get your Eng. on!

by Seb Highlands

Why did you choose to go into engineering at McGill? Probably because you dreamed of doing mind bending calculus for the next 4 years. Maybe. Rather, it’s because you’re seriously turned on by the mere thought of computing the same data over and over and over and over and… (you get the point) Or maybe, just maybe, eight-hour nights are just not your thing and you’d rather solve a Partial Differential Equation all night long.

Let’s be honest, you came into engineering because you dream of one day building the world’s biggest dam, designing the fastest fighter plane, or solving the world’s energy crisis. I hate to be the one to break this to you so soon, but that ain’t what you are going to be doing in class for the next 4 (or 5, or 6…) years. Don’t worry.

There’s plenty of cheap beer in the McConnell Building to drown your sorrows with.

There is hope however thanks to the McGill Design Teams. All of these groups of students exists to build the craziest machines on campus. From the green Electric Snowmobile to the lightning quick Formula SAE, McGill has it all.

Or maybe you’d prefer another of the many teams: Baja Racing, the Hybrid Formula SAE, the Lunar Excavator, the Concrete Canoe, the Autonomous Underwater Vehicle, the Space Elevator and the Cargo Plane. Each of these student-run projects exists to let you be part of a team that designs, builds and tests its very own machine within

It takes some serious guts to get into a car built by your fellow classmates

the 8 months of a school year.

Once that’s done, students then get a chance to go compete in international competitions where McGill attempts to kick the ass of schools like Concordia, Queen’s and others from around the world.

Afraid you don’t have what it takes to build one of these? Don’t worry! No prior experience is necessary to enroll in one of these teams. All you need is a good dose of motivation to learn, to not be afraid to take up new exciting projects, and to be ready to dedicate massive amounts of time during the entire school year. You’ll learn more than you can imagine, build everlasting friendships, and be part of one of McGill’s most rewarding and impressive undergraduate projects.

These projects show you what engineering is all about: transforming an idea into reality.

The experience gained by doing

this will follow you for the rest of your life and is greatly recognized by employers who constantly search for students who’ve shown interest in engineering and have already gained some valuable experience.

This experience will also, for some, go much further than just engineering. Students must also learn how to promote their projects around school and Montreal in order to obtain the funds and resources necessary for their completion. The social skills you’ll develop doing this are guaranteed to be useful in any engineering career later on. You ain’t going to learn that in class either!

Interested? Look out for the information and recruitment session announcements at the beginning of the fall semester. At these you’ll get more information on these teams and learn how YOU can be part of them!

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The Most Despised Charity Group on Campus

by William Farrell

Anyone who knows anything at McGill University knows that the Plumber’s Philharmonic Orchestra is one of the most active fundraising groups on campus. We take on medical causes such as fundraising for the Québec Breast Cancer Foundation and the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, as well as social causes like Centraide and Dans La Rue. Every year we raise tens of thousands of dollars for a Members perpare for annuel Golden Valentine’s Singing Candygrams. half-dozen charities, yet we still to shave their heads? Why can’t social life and school spirit. They carry such notoriety. How can this we raise money for the Heart and began largely as its current name be?

Stoke Foundation by spending indicates, as an “orchestra” to You see, the PPO is a charity Valentine’s Day delivering balloons rally the Varsity teams of the era. group, but oh, it is so much more! and serenades to students and It has been many things since It is a magnet for student leaders, teachers in class? Does it matter then, not least of which a group of the most enthusiastic and spirited that we walk around campus in our relentless prankers whose practical engineers, and the guys and gals slightly dirty and slightly offensive jokes became so outrageous that who sure can throw the best parties lab coats? Is it a problem that while the entire organization was banned in town! For who said that charity raising money for charity, we sing from campus in the mid 1980s! work must be somber and dreary? songs and have fun? I think not.

It has since taken on a more Why can’t we throw a kick-ass The PPO is an organization philanthropic role, but not at the going away party for McGill on the ripe with tradition and spirit. It loss of its roots of engineering, last two days of exams and give all began as the merger between the spirit, leadership, humor, and good of the profits to the President’s Thank-God-It’s-Friday Club times.

Choice Children’s Charity? Why and the Red & White Society in “How do I join?” you may can’t we get everyone at Blues the 1950s. The groups were both ask. Not to worry! It’s quite Pub to donate money for people interested in promoting engineering easy in fact. There is not even an application process. All you have to do is demonstrate that you possess these aforementioned qualities by coming out to all of the engineering events, and you too will be asked to join. Pretty straightforward.

But in the meantime, we will never turn down any free labor! Come to the Roddick Gates and help raise money, or come volunteer at OAP or Blues Pub. You will no doubt find the experience quite rewarding!

Anyways, we hope to see you around!

From your friendly PPO Chiefs Pouring beer at OAP - an engineering tradition.

U-Crane Is Weak

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Internships: A Cautionary Tale Author’s name withheld for good reason On any internship, you can expect to have to interact with other earthlings. Some may be students, but most will be full fledged mortgage-paying lawncutting grown-ups. All will seem absolutely pathetic compared to your binge-drinking examcramming aggressive and strong McGill Engi-fuckin-eering life.

Last year I was a field engineer on a heavy construction project in British Columbia. Below are examples of some of my coworkers and my interactions with them. It is up to you to decide if this list is ‘what to do’ or ‘what not to do’.

The first we’ll call ‘Edna’.

Edna and I did not get along.

Unfortunately the company we were working for had us carpooling together to work every morning.

The source of our conflict was the fact that we were simply polar opposites. I like dogs, she liked cats. I’m a bleedingheart liberal, she - despite being Canadian- considered herself to be republican. I like music, she liked uncomfortable silences.

Still, I was determined to be the bigger man. So, in the true spirit of compromise, every morning when we drove to work at 6AM, I would play Iron Maiden uncomfortably loud. Miraculously, she soon found a new carpool.

The second we’ll call ‘Chad’.

Chad played Ultimate [Frisbee].

Chad played Ultimate in a sleeveless shirt. Chad played Ultimate in a sleeveless shirt while wearing a performance enhancing ‘sleeve’

on his throwing arm. Chad played Ultimate in a sleeveless shirt while wearing a performance enhancing ‘sleeve’ on his throwing arm while listening to David Matthew’s Band.

Not even exaggerating.

The last co-worker we’ll call Futurama Season 5, Episode 8: The Why of Fry

experience to but I did learn one thing: sometimes, you just need to whip it out. Having secured my right to a messy desk, I left that place at 5AM without any sleep, biked home, and got in the car and picked up Edna. I went light on the

Nibblonian: “You are the last hope of the universe!”

Fry: “So, I really am important? How I feel when I’m drunk is correct?”

Nibblonian: “Yes. Except that Dave Matthews Band doesn’t rock.”

Mildred. It doesn’t really matter what we call her because I can’t remember her real name. Imagine the first thing that comes to your mind when you read ’30-something swamp donkey’. That was Mildred.

Mildred was also a regulatory officer for the owner of the project. Maybe you can see where this is going.

Anyway, my boss, for whatever reason, was on my case for having a messy desk in the little trailer out back. He gave me two options: 1.

Clean up your desk or 2. ‘tag’ Mildred, who had recently been refusing to sign some paperwork.

By the tone of this article I think you know which option I took.

Later that week we were out on a Thursday night for some heavy consumption. Sure enough, we wound up back at her place I put in a few hours of excruciating overtime. I wasn’t sure which time code to charge my obscure sexual

Maiden that morning.

First thing we did every morning on the job site was stretch. I was still so plastered from the night before I couldn’t stand on one foot, let alone form coherent sentences or operate heavy machinery. My boss took one look at me and asked “so, you tag her last night?” I admitted I had.

“Attaboy. Now go climb the tower out back”.

We were doing a welding job out back that required climbing 510 feet of scaffolding. I opted instead to sleep it off underneath the office trailer.

I highly recommend traveling, getting an internship, or preferably both during your summers away from McGill. There is a big world full of things to learn, characters to meet, and stories to bring back home

the plumber’s FAUCET

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                                       

Printed at Copi - EUS