Issue Nine
SUMMER SPECIAL
OUR EXPERT ADVISORS
Marie O’Sullivan Teacher, Counsellor and I.T. Trainer www.sparkleshimmer andshine.co.uk
Matthew Barnes-Smith. Coach and Mentor for Young People www.lifecoachdirectory.org.uk/lifecoa ches/matthew-barnessmith
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Cath Lloyd Life Change Therapist and Stress Relief Consultant www.cathlloyd.co.uk
WELCOME Hello Welcome to Issue 9 of Positive Kids Magazine. I hope your summer has been going very well. There’s some really good ideas and activities in this edition for you to try during the last few weeks of the summer holidays and beyond. Plus our experts share their ideas about the summer holidays and the new school year. I hope you will enjoy finding out more about the fabulous Positively Empowered Kids Festival that Positive Kids was involved with. I’m really pleased to be able to feature some of the amazing kids that participated. Finally don’t forget to send your details in, for your chance to win a copy of Vicki Tongeman ‘s fabulous book: Daphne and the Smiley Shells. Please share the magazine with your family, friends and colleagues and let me have your feedback and ideas for future issues. . Positive Wishes Susan Brookes-Morris (Editor)
susan@positive-kids.co.uk www.positive-kids.co.uk
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AUTHOR’S VIEW Does your child have a “Fixed mindset” or a “Growth Mindset”? Does she compare herself to others, or celebrate her own unique gifts? Does he believe he can do anything if he tries, or that he's rubbish at most skills and tasks? How can you tell and why is it so important? Take a look at the two lists in the diagram on the next page. Think about whether you often hear your children say “I can't do this” or “he's better than me” or “I'm not very clever”. If you notice these phrases more than occasionally, chances are they are currently forming a “fixed mindset” but that can change. An important lesson that children can learn is that although they may never be as skilled as their friend or classmate at certain activities, they can learn to improve and to celebrate that improvement. They can also learn to celebrate their differences and what is good about them and their personality, because that is what will help them to move forward in life and avoid the pitfalls that a fixed mindset and the resulting low self-esteem can create. Pitfalls such as possible anxiety, depression, relationship struggles and unfulfilling lifestyles when they grow up.
By Vicki Tongeman
Help your child build a “Growth Mindset” for a happier new School Year 4
You can help your children create a stronger growth-mindset and positive outlook on life by encouraging them to recognise for themselves what good qualities they bring to the world. Yes, it's good to tell your child what a good/kind/helpful person they are, but we've all received compliments we haven't believed because we didn't
GROWTH MINDSET
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feel that way inside. I believe it's important that children learn to identify their own positive skills and behaviour because that way, when they say “I am (kind, helpful, cheerful, getting better at….)’’ they will program their own minds to believe it.
them. So let's give them the most positive beliefs about who they can be and how they can interact with the world.
Children form most of their beliefs about the world and themselves up until the age of 7-8, and those beliefs will determine how they feel about themselves and the world for life unless and until they recognise they have those beliefs and choose to change
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Belief is a beautiful thing. Positive beliefs can give your child greater confidence, self esteem, and the tools to be who they want to be, and do what they want to do. Negative beliefs can have the opposite effect. In the story-book “Daphne and the Smiley Shells,” Daphne the little Dolphin has
CHANCE TO WIN Good news! The activity includes Art and Crafts, shells (real or pasta or just plastic buttons if you prefer) and a jar that your child can use to collect all these happy thoughts about themselves. The activity can be done every day during the holiday or as often as you wish, building your child's inner confidence and growth mindset regularly so that they can go back to school with the kind of positive mindset that helps them succeed. Dads love this story and pro-active time with their children as well, perhaps providing you with some much-needed breathing space while school's out. So if you'd like a fun story book for the summer that will encourage your children to build a mindset for success, why not grab a copy of “Daphne and the Smiley Shells” and give them a head start in School, at Home and in their future?
formed some negative beliefs about the world around her and who she is within it. She believes she's no good at School because she can't surf, that the children who laugh at her are her “friends” and that the world is a difficult place with lots of dark corners and larger creatures that she finds scary. Her mind is creating anxiety and negative thoughts within her and making her world a more difficult place to be in. She has a “fixed mindset” believing things will always be the same for her.
WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN For a chance to win a copy of Daphne and the Smiley Shells, send your name and address by email to
One day she goes to see her Grandad and shares how she feels. Grandad shows her how to use “smiley shells” to notice what she does well, recognise her positive traits and to build a growth mindset, allowing her to see the possibility of improving on her surfing, in time. The story follows her efforts and positive results, and then there is a “how to” page showing parents how to recreate this activity with their children.
competitions@positivekids.co.uk by 11 October 2019 putting Daphne in the subject line
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EXPERT ADVICE 1. Holiday clubs are a great way to take the pressure off you as parents and giving your children time with their peers doing a host of activities that you may not be able to incorporate into your day. However, this can get costly. 2. Plan with other parents to combine child-care at each other’s houses. This will keep the costs down, won’t run your leave allocation dry and the children will have play mates all day long. 3. Organise a day out no more than once a week. This will help to keep your finances more intact. Research the different options available to you by looking at the distances and costs and then give your children the choices from the range you have discovered. 4. Get the children out into the fresh air and using up some of that excess energy. There are a range of community farms around, local parks, nature reserves, RSPB and wildlife parks. It is a great chance for your children to start looking at different things in life away from their IT devices. 5. Organise theme days. This could revolve around colours, films, countries, sports but will depend on what your children are interested in but could be extended to include experimenting with different foods. 6. If you have a garden allow your children to have a small area of garden to tend to (or a windowsill). This will give them a great
By Cath Lloyd Aaah, long summer school holidays. I remember those days. The kids and the teachers can’t wait for the last day of term, when they can leave the school gates behind and frolic in the sunshine. Six weeks of relaxed mornings, no strict
regime of having to get up with the alarm, rushing round the house, the screaming and shouting to get everyone out the door on time with everything they need. However, the excitement of the holidays can soon turn into a logistical nightmare with childcare, bored hyperactive kids under your feet and keeping them occupied can turn into a financial struggle. Whatever your situation, whether you are a stay at home parent, juggling working parents or a split family you are all going to have your own personal difficulties in managing the sixweek break. For a successful school holiday, planning is necessary if you want to have fond memories to look back on.
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SUMMER HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES 8. Have one day a week when you are just going to chill out at home. It is very easy to fall into the trap of getting everyday highly organised and getting stressed out. A day at home means they have to find a way of entertaining themselves. It is important for our children to learn to do this otherwise they will always be relying on others to do the thinking for them. 9. Plan something great to finish with holidays with. It will give everyone something to look forward to and end the holiday on a high. 10. As a parent you need your time as well so make sure you plan some you time into your week.
set of new skills and teach them more about nature. Allowing them to grow edible plants such as herbs, salads, nasturtiums and pansies for example will give them something to nurture as well as exploring a varying their eating habits 7. Most children and young people have mobile phones so why not use them to your advantage in a creative way. Photographic projects are a great way of encouraging them to look at something from a different viewpoint. With the use of the free apps they could create some great projects whether it is portraits, landscapes, architecture, nature, pets, textures and print off their creations.
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CELEBRATING KIDS DOING POSITIVE THINGS To
the children who ran stalls at the recent Positively Empowered Kids Festival - we spoke to some of them Kiran Lee Morris aged 11, ran a stall on behalf of Lizian Crystal and Incense He did it because it was a good opportunity to try running a stall with the support from others and to see if he could do it and earn his own money. Kiran says I was nervous to start with as I’d never done anything like that before but the more people came to see the stall the better I felt. It was great selling the crystals Kiran says, he would like to run his own business when he’s older. Kiran said in regard to the event and mental health, he learned that it’s ok to be nervous and try new things. Kiran was interviewed by a local ITV news journalist. He says about this: ‘I was anxious but once I started talking to the lady it was good. I liked watching myself on the TV and I showed friends and family. I felt proud.
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CELEBRATING KIDS DOING POSITIVE THINGS
Chloe Wilson aged 10, from Nottingham ran a Positive Charms stall with Ellie Clements. Chloe says she wanted to do it to help make kids feel happier and because she hadn’t run one before. Chloe says it was lots of fun and in the future at a similar event, she’d like to sell cakes and also maybe sell her splash art, and do a workshop showing people howCelbratingkdsf l to do their own. Chloe also ran a family workshop at the event because she is a resilience leader at Killisick Juniors. She ran it with some other resilience leaders to teach families how to manage their emotions. As well as doing the workshop and being on her stall at the event, Chloe says she enjoyed watching everything, going to different stalls and making a happy jar. She loved loved the Ollie workshop, the story about the little boy, learning the balance procedure and , the whole festival was fun.
Ellie Clements aged 8 from Bingham ran the Positive Charms/Key rings stall with Chloe. She chose to run the stall because she thought the items would be fun to make and help people be positive. Ellie says lots of people liked the key rings and we made some for us and some for the charity too. Ellie thinks she would like to have her own business when she’s older, looking after other peoples animals when they go on holiday. At the festival , Ellie enjoyed seeing what other people were doing, making a Happy jar and being with her friends In terms of mental health, Ellie learned from the event that its important to talk about your feelings.
Don’t forget to send in photos and details of Kids Doing Positive Things, for the next edition. Email: susan@positive-kids.co.uk
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YOUNG MINDS October) from the Dangerous Woman album for myself. I posted my painted on social media and had lots of people asking if I could paint pictures for them. I never intentionally planned to start a canvas painting business, but the amount of people asking for orders, I decided it would be a good idea, and now am absolutely loving it, having pictures going around the world weekly. I sell my pictures on social media and in art galleries. To have a look, my
Instagram account is funky_furniture.canvases .
By Joshua Haith, 14 from Newark, Nottinghamshire I remember doing the above picture when I was about 6 or 7. It was hung up on our fence with a cloth behind and I just chucked paint randomly at it. My mum was a deputy head teacher and used to teach some of the art, so I grew up around paints and drawings. As well as abstract canvases when I was younger, I also did craft stalls at local schools, but never earned anything more than what I spent creating what I was selling. But I always enjoyed it. I've only been doing my current artwork style for the past four months, but have developed skills over the years of doing detail through other projects I have done. My main project before my current ones was painting furniture, indoor and outdoor,all different colours, some bits jewelled . I still do a few bits now., I wanted to have a go at painting canvases again, but instead of abstract, painting people. I painted a picture of Ariana Grande (who I am going to see in
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Because most of my paintings are orders, I usually don't choose who I paint. But I have chosen a few myself e.g.; Mary Queen of Scots, Ariana Grande. I select a picture, then use a computer program to posterise the picture to make the lines easier to draw on the canvas. I used to use acrylics, but I have started to use wall paint recently The longest a picture has taken me is probably 5-6 days, but I'm not sure. Obviously the less detail, the quicker it is, but I like doing detail. My favourite bit about painting is when you're close up doing detail, then to walk back and see a person forming on the canvas. That's the best bit. Art is definitely something I enjoy, but my favourite subject is History, The Tudors being my favourite. I would love to be a TV historian, presenting documentaries on The Tudors. I love historical properties for obviously their history but also their ghostly
ARTISTIC WAYS weekends.
atmosphere, I love all things paranormal. In September this year, I am planning to start my GCSE's on a pre 16 GCSE course at Nottingham College. ( I have been home educated, only going into school on and off since the age of 4 , and when you've been home educated, you can get access to a pre 16 GCSE course at some colleges, Nottingham being the closest to me.)
I believe art is a very good stress relief, because it focuses you in the moment, not on the pressures you might be experiencing.
English and History are the subjects I am most looking forward to. After those, another, I would love to do is performing arts, to potentially be in historical films and TV series, but also, who wouldn't love being the male Lady Gaga! I haven’t had much work from my college course for the summer holidays, so have lots of time to paint. But when I go back in September, I'll be doing my art evenings and
The main problem I have experienced is bullying, in person and online. The amount of kids and teenagers these days disliking themselves because of other people's opinions of them or social media's expectations is huge, I personally don't feel like I follow expectations from social media, every boy's getting the same hair cut and I'm just there thinking "I think I'll get hair extensions." Always be yourself, never let anyone knock you down with their words or actions, that's what I've learned. If you wish to contact Joshua regarding orders, please contact him on:
joshuahaith2889@outlook.com
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POSITIVELY EMPOWERED KIDS FESTIVAL
PHOTOS BY JO WELCH PHOTOGRAPHY
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POSITIVELY EMPOWERED KIDS FESTIVAL
Jackie Wilson (Founder of Empower Education), Claire Clements (Founder of Positive Pants) and Susan Brookes-Morris (Founder of Positive Kids Magazine) were the organisers of the Positive Kids Empowered Festival which took place at Nottingham Racecourse on 30 June 2019. This provided families with inspiration, ideas, tips and tools to empower children to discover how amazing they are, learn how to navigate adversity and how to step into their potential. Over 400 people attended this great event. There were a wide range of workshops and activities to get involved with which all had a well-being focus. These included African Drumming, Colour Therapy, Resilience Workshops, Laughter Yoga, Singing, Forest School, Holistic Treatments, Circus Skills and Talks by Adult and Child Authors. More events will take place across the country Find out more at:
www.positivelyempoweredkids.co.uk
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TRY THIS One of my Colour Therapy for Kids workshops is called The Rainbow Tree Guided Chakra Meditation and is suitable for kids aged 7+ and also for adults who want to feel like a kid! I tend to incorporate all of these principles, bringing together the psychology of colour and the use of essential oils as per spritzers in the Colour Mirrors system to help balance each chakra.
By Chrisoula Sirigou Children love learning about and working with the chakras, because the chakras are body-based and are each associated with colours, nature elements, sounds, and visualizations. In any form of meditation with children, it’s important to keep a few things in mind: Children need to move, so let them! Incorporate some movement into part of the meditation.
Working from the first chakra up to the crown in the classical mode, but shifting from visuals, to sounds, to imagining, to keep it interesting and free. The three lower chakras are done standing, and incorporate some movement, while from the heart up are done sitting down. The entire meditation is a little over 10 minutes, which is the upper limit for most pre-teen children, but you can adapt it yourself to make it longer or shorter. Don’t worry if children are fidgety in parts, that’s all part of the process. Here’s how the energies of each chakra are cultivated in this meditation: First/Root Chakra / RED / EARTH ELEMENT – Stand firmly on the ground, visualizing yourself as a tree, with strong roots reaching into the earth for stability.
Children’s physical (first chakra), emotional (second chakra), and ego (third chakra) awareness are still developing, so it’s important to keep them grounded. Begin with a strong foundation in the lower chakras before working with the upper chakras.
Second/Sacral Chakra / ORANGE (COMPLIMENTARY COLOUR BLUE LINKED WITH WATER ELEMENT AND MOVEMENT) – Continue the tree visualisation, but place the hands on the lower belly and sway, as if being blown by a gentle wind.
Children enjoy colours, sounds, nature, and visuals. Teens may be able to simply sit in silence, and begin to appreciate this, but most pre-teen children find it stifling. If the goal is for them to embrace meditation as a lifelong tool, keep it fun!
Third/Navel Chakra / YELLOW / FIRE ELEMENT – Place the hands over the
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COLOUR THERAPY navel, imagining the sun shining down, filling your belly with heat and light.
rainforest, etc.) Imagine the sights and sounds around you.
Fourth/Heart Chakra / GREEN / AIR ELEMENT – Transitioning to sitting down, place your hands over your chest, and visualize a beautiful flower blooming beneath them.
Seventh/Crown Chakra / VIOLET – Briefly visualise light at the top of your head. Then refocus in your heart and navel to return to the middle body, and complete the meditation.
Fifth/Throat Chakra BLUE / SOUND – Hold the fingers of your hand over your throat, hum, and feel the vibration in your vocal cords.
Hope you and the kids in your life enjoy! For more guidance into chakra balancing through meditation and colour therapy, I offer online courses for parents as well as colour experience one day workshops and 2-day colour coaching workshops in Cheshire UK and worldwide. Just get in touch via email to find out more
Sixth/Third Eye Chakra / INDIGO BLUE – Return to the tree visualization, and imagine where you would most like to be a tree (a mountain, a cliff over the ocean, a
info@chrisoulasirigou.com
COLOUR THERAPY COLOUR ME HAPPY MEDITATION WORKSHOP Empowering EMOTIONALLY RESILIENT Children
WWW.CHRISOULASIRIGOU.COM
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EXPERT VIEW We schedule in our time away from the office, yet somehow our emails follow us to the poolside and beach, or we allow bosses and colleagues to make that ‘quick’ call to us to solve the question only we have the answer to! Our annual leave becomes anything but rest, and instead we’re unable to switch off, further increasing the chances of burn on and feeling less motivated when we go back to work.
By Matthew Barnes-Smith No more pencils no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks. School’s out for summer! The holiday season is upon us. Six weeks to fill with well-deserved rest and recuperation. One of the main reasons (some say THE reason) teachers chose the career they have, and a time for students to sleep in till lunchtime, lie on the couch all day and catch up with friends. Yet the reality is more and more students are spending this valuable time in summer camps, full time jobs or further study, to ready them for the next academic year and begin building that all-important CV. The pressure for young people to ‘get ahead’ outside of their normal schooling hours is intensifying, and has fully encroached into a time designed to replenish the energy expelled during a busy school term. How many of us now in our working adult lives, complete with responsibilities, find that this approach to holidaying is the norm
I read that number two on the top five regrets of the dying is: “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.” When I read this, I thought, what does ‘working hard’ mean to me? I’ve found myself at times thinking that is was to work long hours and complete multiple tasks, but honestly this just left me feeling exhausted. What took me a while to figure out was that it was working on things that didn’t provide a sense of fulfilment, or including in my schedule periods of rest and activities I do simply for the enjoyment, that really depleted my energy levels. Therefore, for me, the phrase could be reworded as, “I wish I had worked on the things I loved and enjoyed.” If we want the young people in ours lives to find their way of ‘working hard’ on the things in life that they love and enjoy, this can be encouraged by viewing ‘rest’ as one of, if not the most important aspect of their timetable. In sport, athletes and their coaches will schedule in rest days and active rest periods; times when the individual may engage in low-intensity exercise and allow their bodies to fully recover so that they can compete at the highest level during their main season. We should view the summer holidays just as this!
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SCHOOLS OUT that just being a teenager,” I hear you say. I disagree, and what’s more science is proving how vital rest is for the development of a healthy adolescent brain. And with stress and exhaustion being the reason people are having to take time away from their job, we are beginning to see the real cost of the wrong interpretation of what is means to ‘work hard.’
Our young people are performing athletes throughout the year and need time to let their bodies and minds recover, so that when they step back in to action they’re raring to go. For parents, this may entail not knowing where or what they’re up to, allowing them to not move from the bed or sofa all day, gently encouraging them to step foot outside instead of always being indoors, and letting them dictate the activities they’d like to spend time on!
So, when you think about how you and your child will fill their summer holidays, make sure you embrace the ability and importance to REALLY rest, recuperate and perhaps ‘do nothing,’ and think about the long-term benefits this will have on the way young people will engage with their work for the remainder of their lives
When humans perform excessive amounts of anything without proper rest and recovery we are sure to experience some harmful side effects, including decreased performance, fatigue, poor sleeping patterns, decreased immunity, loss of appetite, and mood swings. “Isn’t
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MAKE AN AFFIRMATION CLOUD "I love using positive affirmations with the children I work with and affirmation rainbows are my favourite affirmation craft to do. A positive affirmation is a statement you repeat to yourself. It is always phrased about yourself ( I‌.) in the present (am‌.) And then a positive word or short statement. The more you say it to yourself, the more you will believe it. The more you believe it the more you will behave like it. Repeating affirmations helps to calm your mind and focus on the positives. For this craft I get children to pick 7 affirmations, not just to make the full rainbow, but to really make them think. Normally it is easy to come up with the first couple but then it gets harder, I love watching parents and children discuss positive attributes and parents offering their perspective of the child to the child. It opens a lovely conversation about the positives that others see in us. Once the children have completed their rainbow they are encouraged to put them somewhere they can see them to read every day. They can either repeat them all each day or pick and choose ones that are appropriate to the challenges they face that day. You then repeat them out in your head, out loud on your own or with a Parent." By Cat at Relax Kids, South Notts
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RECIPE BOUNCING BUNNY Find out hpw to make the Bouncing Bunny see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA_ERdZckI0
Created by: Early Start Nutrition Our team of registered nutritionists are on a mission to promote positive attitudes and enjoyment of nutritious food throughout childhood and beyond. We provide a range of training for early years settings, along with interactive e-guides for families, to help them provide children with nutritious foods to support growth, development and learning! Our e-learning topics include menu planning, managing fussy eating and nutrition for young children. Find out more by visiting our website: https://www.earlystartgroup.com/nutrition/
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EXPERT ADVICE the big day. E.g. “We’ll get up and eat breakfast. You’ll brush your teeth and get dressed, then we’ll take a special photo. I’ll bring you to school and you’ll meet your teacher and lots of new friends. Afterwards I’ll come and collect you and then we’ll go to the park”. You could draw out pictures to match these sentences and repeat them often to familiarise your child with the sequence of events. Listen out for any worries, e.g. forgetting their schoolbag and then talk about how you can solve that problem. Let your child feel heard.
By Marie O’Sullivan Many parents worry about how their child will cope with starting school. Often the child can pick up on this anxiety and this can feed their fear about a big change. Sometimes, adults minimise a child’s fears or push them beyond their comfort zone. Think about how we would feel going to a strange place, e.g. starting a new job. It’s perfectly normal for a child to feel anxious. In this article, we’ll look at some practical tips to support your child.
There are some lovely books on the topic of starting school. The Invisible String, I love you all day long, The Kissing Hand and Little one, I’ll miss you more than you can ever know are all fabulous reads to allay fears. You can adapt some of the ideas from these books e.g. draw a heart on each of your wrists. Then if your child is feeling lonely, they can touch the heart and feel connected. Another variation is to tell your child that the heart is a magic button, that whenever they touch it, you will be thinking of them. Playing games like hide and seek can also help to reassure your child that you will always come back for them. Read these books several times in advance of starting school to familiarise your child with the idea that they will be away from you, but the separation will be only temporary. Talk to your child about what you will be doing on their first day at school, e.g. “I will go to the supermarket and buy your favourite dinner. Then I will go to the coffee shop near the school so that I will be there on
First of all, it’s important to start preparing your child in advance for the transition. Maybe they are already attending a creche or playgroup. Emphasise making new friends, growing up and learning new things as benefits to starting school. Attend any open days so that your child can familiarise themselves with a new setting. Try to spend 1:1 time with your child to give them some extra connection with you. Talk to your child about siblings or cousins who are older and about all the things they enjoy doing at school. Read books to give them a rundown of what is likely to happen in the days leading up to
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STARTING SCHOOL time to collect you”. The night before, try to create a calm atmosphere at home. Let your child know that everything is organised. Talk them through what will happen in the morning. Again, emphasise all the positive aspects of starting school. On the big day, a transition object can really help. For example, a former colleague used to encourage parents and guardians to give their child an (old!) set of keys to “mind” as visual proof that they will be coming back. Another tip is to spray your usual perfume on a tissue so that your child feels protected and connected. Sometimes parents slip out the door without saying goodbye. Although they
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are well-intentioned, this can actually be very upsetting for a child. Instead, say goodbye, give them a kiss and a hug, tell your child that you know they’ll have a great day, remind them that you’ll be back to collect them and then leave. Even though it’s tempting, don’t linger, or try to peep in the window! Make sure that you are there on time to collect your child as this builds trust, remember to allow time for parking! This article :https://www.elsa-
support.co.uk/elsachatseparation-anxiety/ also helps to explain why starting school can be overwhelming for a young child and gives practical tips.
WE JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY JUST FOR YOU Believe in yourself, even when others do not. It is absolutely paramount that you honour your internal guidance system (your emotions and gut instincts) as it’ll navigate you in your life journey. Before beginning adulthood you could benefit hugely if you recognize the fact that
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton I am absolutely exhilarated about sharing the TRUTH that “You Are Enough” with you.
By Sabrina Ben Salmi
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sbensalmi I can still remember sitting down In life I have come to learn that the most important journey that you could ever embark on, is the journey of self-discovery. I would definitely tell my younger self to enjoy the journey more. Allowing myself to get away hasn’t always been an easy thing for me to do because my driven nature can keep me going, which makes it hard to slow down and give myself permission to step away. I would encourage my younger self to ponder on these questions as often as possible.
What do you want most? Is it money, love, health, wealth, happiness, fame, power, contentment, peace of mind etc I encourage you to take your time to establish your individual skills, talents and sacred gifts, so you can go on to identify your philosophy of life. If you're searching for a definite goal in your life journey, I highly recommend that you take responsibility to deal with your past, take control of your present and go on to create a compelling future.
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during childhood worrying about whether I was good enough and whether my thoughts and suggestions were good enough? I was trying to impress others and trying to be the same as my peers as I feared being rejected. If I knew then what I now know with regards to self-love and selfacceptance, I could have saved myself all the time that I wasted seeking external validation. As I grew up I questioned why I expected people who couldn’t see my vision to give me permission to pursue it. I am here to encourage you to be yourself no matter what others say or do, because you are enough just the way you are. I am so in love with the continuous and organic unfolding of life, the contrast, the unexplainable
KNOW YOU ARE ENOUGH encounters, the sweat, the tears, the attachments, the fears, the discomfort, the moments of sadness and despair, the unexpected pleasantries in abundance, and so much more. It is such a deeply profound feeling to know that life has taken me on a journey of self-discovery from feeling unworthy to a sense of self love and self-acceptance. That which initially presented as a so called pain, has gone on to become the premise for my thriving. I have come to realise that my so called darkest days were merely contrast and have now become my blessings beyond words. I have certainly learned that one can choose to grow through life or go through life. One thing that I truly believe is that life is a journey of market research and what you choose to do with the data is up to you. Life is always giving us feedback I’ve learned the lesson that each experience has come to teach us and to equip us for the next phase of our life. At times it’ll not make sense in the present, however it will when we connect the dots looking backwards. The question is what will you choose?
You are enough, therefore:
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Life will give you feedback. What have you been choosing to delete, distort and generalise?
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Take the gift of life seriously and convey gratitude You have nothing to prove to others You are unique, so there is no competition
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Pursue your deepest dreams and desires Know that you are worthy Maintain faith, and focus on thriving Take a deep breath and fully reconnect with your inner core Stop rushing, get into alignment and then life will come to you Trust yourself Trust your intuition Give up the belief that you have to work hard to create your desired outcomes When contrast presents, choose to learn the lesson that it has come to teach you You can choose to be in the choice Express yourself Being vulnerable is the first step towards success Meditate daily to allow you to reconnect You are a unique gift to the world There is no such thing as failure, only feedback All contrast helps you to fine tune that which you do not desire in order to fine tune you Just know that you are exactly where you need to be, simply surrender to the process Stop settling for too little Your opinion matters You make a difference Forgive yourself, others and let go Slow down and simply be fully present to this very moment, that’s the difference that will make the difference Allow yourself to become an excellent giver and receiver
BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM
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Learn to fall in love with yourself. so much so, that you enjoy being alone in silence, listening to your inner being and align When surrounded by crabs in the bucket trying to dilute your vision, always respond saying “I’m just getting warmed up” In life you can either watch the movie, be in the movie and/or direct the movie Reconnect to your inner core Take aligned action Choose to be like water and adapt to life with flexibility
Excellent – well done Please allow me to share this poem with you, it’s called On Children and it inspired me to parent my children the way I do today:
Embody the positive learnings for yourself and the future. Go ahead and take three deep breaths. With each breath that you take notice how relaxed you are becoming. Now let’s try this powerful breathing technique that our family mentor (Juanpa Barahona) taught us: Take a slow and controlled deep breath to the count of 4 seconds. Now hold your breath for 4 seconds and then slowly exhale to the count of 4 seconds. Excellent – well done, now let’s go for 6 seconds. Take a slow and controlled deep breath to the count of 6 seconds. Now hold your breath for 6 seconds and then slowly exhale to the count of 6 seconds. Excellent – well done, now let’s go for 8 seconds. Take a slow and controlled deep breath to the count of 8 seconds. Now hold your breath for 8 seconds and then slowly exhale to the count of 8 seconds.
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“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”
By Khalil Gibran Mother of The Year Award Winner Sabrina Ben Salmi BSc is an Award Winning author (Dreaming Big Together Mamas Secret Recipe & Lone Parenthood). She is also a proud mother of 5 entrepreneurial children who are also multi award winners .They are aged 5-18 years old.
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SELF SELFESTEEM ESTEEM
PROBLEMS AT WORK? ��
Sleepless nights and dreading going to work tomorrow
�� Confidence low, unable to deal with difficult people/situations �� Fed up of being unsupported and under valued �� Facing Redundancy & worrying whether you'll get another job �� Overwhelmed by your workload, pressure weighing you down �� At a crossroads but confused about what to do My own career was peppered with episodes of stress, frustration and feeling trapped. I took action for the sake of my health, relationships and sanity. I can help you do the same. W ork is only part of who we are. Specialising in working with you, the human inside your job title, I ensure the changes you make are the right fit and you have the skills and the mind-set to get you there.
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