Issue Fourteen
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CHANCE TO WIN
• YOUNG • SUPPORTING
• LEARNING
FROM HOME
MINDS • ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILDREN OUR YOUNG ADULTS • TIDY MIND DOODLES
OUR EXPERT ADVISORS
Shellie Becker Ollie And His Superpowers Coach shellie.becker@olliean dhissuperpowers.com
Marie O’Sullivan Teacher, Counsellor and I.T. Trainer http://themarieosulliv an.com
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Cath Lloyd Life Change Therapist and Stress Relief Consultant www.cathlloyd.co.uk
WELCOME Hello Welcome to Issue 14 of Positive Kids Magazine. I hope you are all well and are enjoying the Summer despite the ongoing challenges that Covid-19 brings us. Hopefully you have seen some positives too within your families changed lifestyles. As ever there’s lots of great information and advice in this issue to help you help your children to be happy and healthy. I’m really pleased to have the opportunity to include some articles around coping with loss as I’ve been wanting to do this for some time. Thanks to Georgina for sharing her very personal story and her colleague Tracy for her expert advice. Both are part of the wonderful charity Help Harry Help Others. There is also a great opportunity to win a Harry the Hero activity pack on page 18. Positive Wishes until next time
Susan Brookes-Morris (Founder and Editor) www.positive-kids.co.uk t:@PositiveKidsUK Facebook: www.facebook.com/PositiveKidsMagazineandEvent Discussion group: www.facebook.com/groups/293164897758696
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ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILDREN Music, the arts, crafts, all creative pursuits are necessary ingredients, I believe, for a well- balanced childhood. We sometimes neglect this area for academia and it is as important. In fact, some children are far better at these ‘right brained’ subjects than ‘left brained’ academics. (See Learning Styles Part 3 Chapter 4) A book I recommend to help children explore the power of the imagination is The Power of Henry’s Imagination from the same team that brought us The Secret, The Power, The Magic and Hero.
By Karen Shaw One of the things that happens to children is that they are sometimes encouraged to stop day-dreaming and using their imagination. They are often told to be ‘realistic’ and their dreams are then shattered. We can be-little their dreams or ambitions.
Join in with their wonderment, be more child-like with them, play more. Really see and take note of the wonder in everyday things that we take for granted such as water in the tap, that we have electricity, the way the kettle, hoover and toaster work. that someone invented an umbrella, shoes, radio, TV, internet, the car … so many things. Acknowledge these and encourage your children to do so as well. Be aware and grateful for nature, the petals of a flower, the colours in birds’ wings, the multi-coloured leaves on the trees, or the ground, on your walk to school. Stop and appreciate them and let your child do the same.
Instead, when they want to do something, encourage it. Let them live in their imagination. When we keep focusing on something we truly want to achieve and believe we can do it, we can achieve it. If your child wants to be a premier footballer or a famous singer let them aim for that. Remember if one person can, if it’s possible for other people to do this, then it can be for your child too.
Children have a sense of wonder and awe in nature and in man made things, and how things work. They love to explore and all too often, we’re in a hurry, have to get on, haven’t got time for it. Enjoy this time when our children want to share and have fun, it’s to be celebrated, it doesn’t last. We get our priorities mixed up and it’s over all too
In Twelfth Night, Shakespeare wrote, “If music be the food of love, play on.” So, if your child loves music let them ‘play on’, encourage them, share it with them, discuss it, introduce new music and artists.
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PARENTING MAGIC soon.
You can do this kind of thing indoors, building trains, planes, boats, rocket ships and U.F.O’s out of anything you have lying around. Or use sheets over chairs, to make igloos, tents, wigwams and caves. You need only provide the basic of items and their imagination will do the rest.
Remember children are here to … ● Explore ● Experiment ● Experience ● Express ● Enjoy …and so are we!
Rather than restrict them encourage them. Let them blossom. This use of imagination is good for the brain, it fires neurons off that help create ways of thinking and habits that are beneficial to them in all areas of learning and life.
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein
Ideas to expand their imagination
Look at the word Imagination. I-magination. We are a nation of magi (magicians) with ‘I’ (that’s you) at the start of it. Imagine positive things, not negative. Imagine what you want to happen, not what you don’t! and encourage your kids to do that too
Using the imagination is especially helpful in school holidays and when children are stuck inside, not able to go out. We can use our imagination to create whatever we want, wherever we want, even on a routine car journey or on the way to school. Ask them to imagine where they are going today and come up with as many different places as you can. You suggest ideas and let their imagination run wild.
Extract from the Book ‘Parenting Magic, A new approach to behaviour & communication’ by Karen Shaw
● To Africa on a safari where they’ll see and think about all the different animals they might encounter. ● The South Pole where they live in an Igloo, what might they see and do there? ● The moon in a rocket, passing stars and galaxies and what else might they see? ● Venice on a gondola, eating ice cream and singing opera. ● America, visit the Statue of Liberty, go inside and climb up to the top.
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'Parenting Magic' offers a fresh new approach to parenting. It shows you how to connect with your children at the deepest levels and open more to the daily joys that are easy to overlook. It really is magic! Marci Shimoff International Speaker #1 NYTimes best selling author Love for no Reason, Happy for no reason and Chicken Soup for the Woman's soul There are also opportunities to SPONSOR the event, put items in the GOODY BAGS, donate to the RAFFLE or ADVERTISE in the event guide. To find out more call Susan on 07890 051638 or email
LEARNING FROM HOME What if companies started considering portfolios of the young person’s skills? Some top entrepreneurs do not have qualifications yet they have still excelled. Children have a natural drive to emulate their parents. It has been shown that a child can learn to read on their own, with minimal guidance, if they find a subject they are passionate about. Others have learnt about numbers and percentages by the battery level on their electronic device or playing darts.
By Sara Shebear Most parents/carers have had the challenge of their children learning from home during the lockdown. After the initial challenge some families have enjoyed the experience and their children have benefited from learning in a different way. In this article, learning is the process of equipping children for their adult life and with the recent changes no one knows what their adult life will look like. Some families who have thrived through this period may be considering continuing with home learning, however, they may be worried about their child getting qualifications. What if, there is another way for a young person to get a career? There are some companies, like Virgin for example, that employ people based on their skills and abilities and not their qualifications.
Home education (HE) is also known as unschooling, free schooling, free range learning. It is a legal alternative in the UK. Parents simply write to their Local Education Authority (LEA) and state that they want to de-register their child from school. Then the responsibility for the child’s learning rests with the parent. The main requirements are that the child is being equipped for their adult life at a level suitable to their capabilities and that they are being kept safe. The LEA’s Home Education Officer visits once a year to make sure learning has been adequate and there were no safeguarding issues. In 2009 this was optional. Parents HE for a variety of reasons and the number of HE children is increasing. These reasons can include: health and wellbeing, physical and/or emotional needs not being met by school; the distance and availability of school or simply the parent’s progressive views about current education. “None of us fit in a box, as we have arms and legs of individuality that pop out all over the place.”
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SHEBEAR CONNECTION What will children learn at home? As all families and children are unique there is no set rule. Some parents let their child decide what they want to learn. This is called Child-led or Self Directed Leaning. The parents facilitate what the child wants to learn, how and when they want to learn it. Other parents have a more structured approach providing revision books, tuition and online learning for their child to work towards qualifications.
passion and become an expert. Young people may want to make a portfolio of their work to present to future employers or even consider becoming self employed and setting up their own business. Young people interested in activities like dance and sports can make videos of themselves and make an electronic portfolio. With computers and mobile phones, electronic portfolios can be created in the form of slideshows or even websites. Most skills are available to learn from the internet via online courses or YouTube videos.
I am not a teacher The parent does not need to be a teacher. The child learns how to learn in their own unique way. The parent may sit down with the child and then they can both learn together nurturing the child’s curiosity. Parents read with their child, cook together, go shopping and even do housework together, these can provide a learning experience which will equip the child for adult life. What about English and Maths qualifications? If we look back, how many of our qualifications do we use now. Do we ever need to use algebra? Young people need to know everyday English so they are capable of writing an official letter or email. They need to be able to do everyday maths so they can work out their bills and budgets. What job opportunities will a HE young person have? If a person is doing a job they are passionate about then they have more motivation. HE enables a child to find their passion and learn about it. Some children are passionate about computers so with the help of the internet they can learn more about their interest and become an expert.
Anything is possible with HE providing the child is supported. Parents simply need to trust their child to show them what and how he/she wants to learn. There is a wealth of information available and many HE groups on social media to help parents learn about HE and feel supported. By Sara Shebear BA, Learning Empowerment Coach, Shebear Connection CIC Specialising in home schooling and child lead/self directed learning. Empowering challenged children.
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A letter to Mother Earth Our beloved Mother Earth The Mother of all mothers! Beautiful and loving Gaia. Thank you for giving us magnificent Nature with glorious mountains, hills, savannas and deserts. I want to express my gratitude for evergreen forests with oxygen providing trees so we can breath easily. Thank you for beautiful emerald oceans, seas and rivers shimmering in the sunshine like a glowing gold on the turquoise scarf allowed to fly high up to the sky. Thank you for all the creatures, big and small, silk-skinned, feathered and furry, no-legged, 2-legged and 4-legged awesome animals, funny grasshoppers, scary alligators, royal lions and dogs who wiggle happy tails. Thank you for all those colourful birds and common ones! They all bring so much joy with their beautiful singing and so much fun with their cheerful tweeting. Thank you for giving us drinking water that I have unrestricted access to everyday. Many human beings do not have it, suffering thirst and hunger. This is definitely something that New Era of our earthy live after virus will find a solution to. Thank you Mother Earth for fresh fruits and vegetables that are extremely necessary in our diet and beneficial for our health. They are delicious when eaten raw or cooked, full of vitamins and minerals. Extract from the poem by Gaja Lesiak aged 8 and her grandmother Mira for the RAINBOW LETTERS TO MOTHER EARTH PROJECT If you have any queries about the project, please email: chrisoula@wholisticlove.org.uk
COPING WITH LOSS inside. Straight away we thought right, lets get on with treatment. What, when and how? That sense of urgency to start to get him sorted, combined with a sense of helplessness at only being able to be with him and watch him go through sessions of chemo, radio and finally 5 years after… surgery. I remember walking him down to theatre, and again clinging on to ‘hope’ that once he came back into the recovery room, his tumour would be smaller and that he would have many years ahead . Hoping that the tumour in his head would be smaller and we could watch him grow and develop into his teen years, and all of us rebuild a sense of normality at home.
By Georgina Moseley Losing a loved one, whatever the reason can be the hardest life hurdle. People can offer their support and empathy but no-one can truly understand the impact,after all it’s only you that’s had that relationship with your loved one. Others may experience loss but every experience is different and unique based on the relationship you had with that person.
However, that wasn’t to be. During surgery there were complications. A huge haemorrhage left him in a coma, where he remained for 3 months. Towards the end he was deteriorating and less responsive. Very bluntly we were told there was no action in his brain whatsoever and we had no alternative but to bring him home where they removed the ventilator and he passed 36 hours later. It all happened so quick – the end I mean. Within 48 hours of being told the worst news, he had passed away.
After years of hope, and my son going through gruelling treatment with cancer from the age of 7 until 11 when he passed, it was ‘hope’ that kept us going. I had that sense of feeling helpless as a parent, after all, as parents we pride ourselves in fixing and patching our kids up. Never had I experienced anything with regards to my 3 young children where everything was completely out my control, that is, until we heard those awful words “your child has cancer”. It was ‘hope’ of him having treatment, ‘hope’ of him getting better, ‘hope’ of the tumour shrinking and ‘hope’ of a future for him that kept us going and meant we were able to cope with all he faced.
Even in his last breaths I still had hope. When he took his last breath I remember a sense of relief for him as he’d had months of suffering and he was now just so peaceful. However, I felt like that was it – everything was over. Life and hope! No parent ever expects to outlive their child. We were inseparable due to the combination of his age, endless hospital
Upon diagnosis, it was like a switch flicked
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A MOTHER’S STORY visits and stays and his campaigning that he’d become well known for. How could I carry on without him? My son, my baby, my best friend. My humour in my every day and quite simply my world as I knew it. Our lives went into sheer darkness, our days and our home were empty without him. Uncontrollable emotions of shock, disbelief, denial, anger and sadness swooped over us like a tidal wave. Years of being by his side as his carer and as his mom and now there was nothing – just the darkness inside my heart and gut that still lives within me now, nearly 9 years on. The weeks following his passing meant lots of time to reflect, think about life and ride all the waves of emotions. It was a mentally exhausting and draining time watching the rest of the world carrying on, when all I wanted to do was scream at everyone- how can you all just carry on? It was like I was on the outside looking in on the rest of the world. I locked myself away at home in fear of saying something I’d regret. Facing the world and seeing people who would pass on their condolences made it real. It took time for me to want to hear that. For a period of time I couldn’t hear those words as to hear it I had to accept he was gone. Then one day with any sense of ‘hope’ having gone, I thought to myself you now have ‘choices’. Its quite easy to sit and wallow and feel sorry for myself and his brother and sister, but would that be what he would want? I’d lost all sense of hope and desire for life. Everything now felt pointless, but seeing his brother and sister who were hurting so much too, made me snap and think I have choices
and these two amazing little people are still my purpose. That was enough to make me think I cannot go on living my life like I have the past few weeks. Only I can change it. Dani and Louie needed their mom more than ever. They needed their mom to love them and show them that however we feel life has to carry on. I felt like I had to find a justification for this. A huge feeling of guilt rushed over me. How could I go round the supermarket like nothing had happened, how could I return to work (which I did and soon realised the job I once loved felt pointless) just how could I do anything when my son had died? For me it was about finding a purpose that gave me justification to get up and show up. That first purpose was my 3 children. I may have lost my son, but I went on to create something that made him a part of my every day. I’m still his mom and cancer can never take that away from me. I made the campaign he’d started into a registered cancer charity supporting all those affected by cancer. It fills the gaps and is modelled around what we felt as a family, which was that more support was needed. Very soon time at home was about me, Dani and Louie and of course always having Harry surrounding us in photos and often being the topic of our conversation. My work was purely about Harry and the cancer community living in the here and now who needed support and a place to turn like we did. You see I made my choices. To show Dani and Louie that no matter what we go through in life, we have to work
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HELP HARRY HELP OTHERS CHARITY through it and carry on. We will always hurt and feel a sense of immense loss from losing Harry, but my other purpose Harry’s campaign, makes him a part of my everyday. I talk proudly of all he created, achieved and the incredible legacy he left that still helps others even 9 years on. I found my purpose, I made my choices and ones that I know Harry’s brother and sister are very proud of. They need their mom to function and carry on. These were the right choices for me, they felt right. Let’s face it we all need a purpose in life, without it, we don’t have drive or passion for anything. As for hope? Well our journey of hope that Harry would live ended, however we still give hope to hundreds of families that we support today. We always encourage them to never give up on hope. Lots of families get through cancer and come out the other side. Whilst it will always hurt that Harry didn’t, we celebrate and are so thankful when we hear wonderful stories of families that do. We support families that deal with loss and help them come to terms with their grief. Its normal to feel all those different emotions and to lose sight and not want to continue. As we help them work through their emotions, we help them see the importance of establishing a purpose and new routine. This can be hard and no one should ever feel under pressure to find it immediately. We are all different and deal with loss and grief differently. When you lose someone that is your world, that you share your every day with and they are suddenly
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taken away- the change can be overwhelming. Even the simplest of routine things like shopping alone, eating alone, sleeping alone etc. life becomes routine and a habit. We almost return to our childhoods where we have to discover and learn new ways as we go along. This soon becomes that new routine and helps us get stronger and cope. This really helped me to cope with my huge loss. I have peace in knowing whatever I do, wherever I am, Harry will always be in my head and heart. You never get over the loss of someone close in your life, especially a child, however time, purpose and routine helps me to deal with and manage the loss. For anyone experiencing loss, it is hard to deal with and to believe that there is a life after loss. There is so much support o,ut there however to help you through this and I would urge anyone struggling to come to terms with a loss to seek professional support. Sometimes we all need a helping hand, especially if we cannot find a purpose or function to establish a new routine on our own.
KIDS ACTIVITY PACK
CHILDREN AND LOSS By Tracey Spickernell Supporting a child who has lost someone important to them can be a very confusing time, not just for the child but for the adults around them also. You might be seeing your child get angry and having more temper tantrums than normal? Perhaps they are acting out in new ways that just aren’t like them? Or maybe they have become very withdrawn or distressed? As frightening and difficult as these things are, they are very normal. Just like the adults around them, their world has been completely shaken up and doesn’t make sense anymore. Thinking about how very young children can view the world through what they see on television, they watch loved cartoon characters being killed off by the baddie, but then jumping up again seconds later and carrying on. It’s unsurprising then that children of pre-school years might view this as the way life is – that the person who has died will bounce back and everything will be ok again. They may even wonder why the adults around them are getting so upset? How very confusing this must be when their much loved person doesn’t come back. As children gradually get older, their understanding around the permanence of death changes, with them increasingly grasping that it isn’t reversible. However, this understanding brings with it thoughts and feelings that can be difficult to experience and process. Grief can be very overwhelming for a child, and so often we will see them moving in and out of their grief without
warning from a place where their loss is very evident, to a place of normality and safety. One minute they may be asking questions about what has happened to their loved one, and the next asking to watch their favourite programme on TV. They may be angry and distressed one second, then quickly switch to having a smile on their face, asking if they can play with their friends. This switching helps the child to cope with their grief, as staying in that difficult place for too long can be frightening for them. It can be equally confusing for the adult watching it happen. I wish I could give you a simple formula of exactly how your child will experience their loss and what to do to make it all better for them, but just like adults children are unique individuals who need understanding of how they see the world. Alongside this, children don’t develop at the same rate, meaning that two children who are exactly the same age may have totally different reactions to the death of someone. These reactions may also be impacted by their family and cultural backgrounds, their previous
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EXPERT VIEW experiences of death, and their personalities. They may take some time to truly process the news that someone has died, and they might not quite have the words to put to the feelings they are experiencing. This can be distressing for all, but whilst there is no set formula, here are a few things you can do that might help:
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them understand that it’s okay to laugh and be happy again.
�� Keeping up with your child’s routines as much as possible can help provide safety and security in a structured way, These are the things the child feels familiar with and it can help them find some normality in the midst of their grief.
Let your child know that they can talk about what’s happened when they are ready. That you will be there, and want to hear their thoughts and questions. It’s really okay to tell them you don’t know if they ask something you have no answer for. Be led by your child. If they are distressed, offer them comfort and cuddles. If they seem happy and want to play with their toys, let them. This probably means they are selfregulating and switching as mentioned above in order to cope with their feelings.
�� Let their school know what is happening. They maybe able to offer extra support.
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Encourage your child to talk about the person who has died. Not just what has happened to them, but the memories and shared times before they died too. Sometimes making a memory box with special pictures, toys, items of clothing or fragrances inside can really help a child move through their loss.
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Help your child think about how they want to say goodbye. They may want to bake their favourite cake, or light a candle, say a prayer, plant a special flower, go to the funeral, write a poem or decorate a stone and place it in the garden. Or maybe they will come up with their own ideas.
�� Trust in yourself. You may feel
Spend time with your child doing things they enjoy. This can help them feel safe, and give them a break from some of the difficult feelings and experiences. It can also help
totally out of your depth or be struggling with your own grief, but you know your child and they know you. You can help them feel safe again.
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CHANCE TO WIN �
Reach out. You don’t have to do it on your own! If you need support then talk to someone. There are organisations and charities out there that can support you and your child. Your own G.P surgery should have information about people and places they can signpost you to. Don’t suffer alone.
WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN A HARRY THE HERO KIDS ACTIVITY PACK
Email : competitions@positive-kids.co.uk with Harry Girl or Harry Boy in the subject line by 18 September 2020
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TO MOVE FORWARD HOW TO MOVEHOW FORWARD
‘Whether you are trying to cope with the unthinkable or simply want more from life, this inspiring book will show you how to move forward and achieve more’. SBM
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When Lauren’s daughter Liora died unexpectedly at just 20, she was devastated. Inspired by Liora’s legacy of having achieved so much and encouraged by the 15,000strong Facebook group that has supported her and her family, Lauren felt compelled to share their story and the tools and techniques that have helped them move forward following Liora’s passing. Lauren’s wish is that this book will also help you to lead a more fulfilling and purposeful life.
Inside you will discover Liora’s inspiring story and find out how to use positive mindset techniques and energy tools to enhance your life. Through exercises and activities, you will understand more about yourself, what you want from life and how you can achieve it through consistent action.
‘Liora gave so much and brought so much happiness to so many. Lauren, you are truly amazing and your techniques have helped me feel calmer and happier. I now have a much more positive outlook on life’. NY Lauren Rosenberg is an Energist, International Fear and Phobia Relief Expert, Holistic Therapist, Speaker and Trainer. She uses her skills to help her clients overcome fear and lead more joyful lives.
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Lauren practising tapping with Liora
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SUPPORTING OUR YOUNG ADULTS “good fit”. If we stop to think about this, it is a logical outcome to years of an antiquated education system and parenting paradigm that is no longer fit for purpose. Many – indeed most- of us, have been raised and educated unconsciously.
By Clare Ford We are born to live as the fullest expression of our whole selves physically, spiritually and emotionally - yet through life events, trauma and conditioning, we typically disconnect from the essence of who we are. Much dis-ease can be attributed to abandoning and forgetting our true self as we seek external means to fill the void. However, who we are never leaves us but is lying dormant, waiting to be re-awakened. This is true for our Teens, Tweens and In-Betweens. Now, more than ever, they need us, their parents and educators, to rise up and show them a way. Most teenagers that I speak to are confused about their future; about the society that they will soon be contributing to and partaking in as an adult. They are, quite simply, depressed by the turns that the world is taking. They are overwhelmed with options, yet none seem to be a
The ways that we experience “success” over failure are linked to attainment, targets, results, outcomes, being “good” – getting the grades, the job, the house, the spouse, the children - which often leads to the affairs, the addictions, the divorce, the depression and the emptiness. So, why do we want this measure of “success” for the next generation? Because it feels comfortable and because we want to have to ask difficult questions. Its also because if we do this, we are not forced to confront our own limitations and our conditioning. But the problem is that our children have been watching us and now, our teenagers don’t want what we want for them. They don’t need the grades to be successful. They don’t need at 9-5 job for life for financial security. They don’t need to go to school to be educated. They don’t need to “conform” to get the results. So, what can we do, say and provide as parents to support them to become the person that they are destined to be?
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BEAUTIFUL SOULS interests rather than societal norms. The question is – are you really ready to see your teen fly? LET’S REFLECT:
Here are some things that we can do to really allow our young adult to be seen in their true essence, for whom they really are, and for the wonderful uniqueness they bring to enrich our world.
• Only you are here to be you • Everyone’s reality is different. Your child is not YOU. • Your greatest gift to your child is to be fully present and connected so that they are SEEN • Your child will blossom in their own time • Your child’s uniqueness is their greatest gift to humanity
Showing up means bringing your whole being — your attention and awareness — into this moment with your child. When we show up, we are mentally and emotionally present for our child right now. This is what I never felt I got from my mother growing up. Even in our most well-meaning moments, we can fall into the trap of hoping our kids will be something other than who they really are. We might want our child to be studious or athletic or artistic or neat or achievement-oriented or something else. But what if he just doesn’t care about kicking a ball into a net? Or is even unable to do so? What if she has no interest in playing the flute? What if it doesn’t seem important to them to get straight A’s, or it feels inauthentic to them to conform to gender norms? This is why the curriculum I have created is “clever’’… it focuses on individual values, passions, gifts, talents and
Clare Ford is an award-winning transformational coach, speaker and bestselling author. Clare is a mum herself and has a background in education and healing. She has inspired and worked with parents and children for over 15 years. She believes in “putting love at the heart of what matters most” – you and your family. Her passion and specialities lie in working with families, supporting parents, children and teens to overcome anxiety and overwhelm to reach their true potential. Website: https://www.beautifulsouls.co.uk Email: clareford68@gmail.com
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HOW YOU CAN GET INVOLVED WITH POSITIVE KIDS
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YOUNG MINDS - JOURNALING you to heal and improves your communication skills. In fact, history has shown that many very famous and successful have all kept a journal to help them reflect on their successes and failures, so they can learn from both! Keeping a journal about your positive experiences will allow you to experience things again in your mind, which will also improve your mood. It is always good to express yourself.
By Yasmine Ben Salmi - aged 12 In this time of Covid -19, reading and practicing the principles from my book The Choice Is Yours has really kept me busy. I have been focusing on the good things that life has to offer, for example: Doing my daily gratitude practice and journaling.
The more you express yourself, the more you will heal yourself and learn to forgive yourself and others. Keeping a journal will heal you emotionally and physically. Did you know that stress often comes from emotional blockages and over-thinking? Journaling will free you from mentally being tangled in significant emotional events from your past.
These activities are covered in two of my favourite chapters from my book. They are Principle #1 and Principle #3.
Do you know about the critical connection between speaking and self-expression?
PRINCIPLE #1
Do some research to see what you can learn. Journaling will improve selfdiscipline, because you have to set time aside for daily journaling and this is an act of self-discipline.
JOURNAL Take a moment to think about the word “EXPRESSION”. What does “EXPRESSION” mean to you?
HOW TO JOURNAL
What else? What else?.. What else?...
I really believe that you will see the benefits of keeping and writing a journal every day – This is the road to successful journaling.
I believe that it is very important to keep a Journal. This is because it helps improve your confidence, inspires creativity helps you to forgive, helps
Simply find a place that feels in
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YASMINE BEN SALMI at a blank page and this can be overwhelming, just ask yourself what feels right and what's in alignment?
alignment and where it feels right for you. Somewhere that you will not be disturbed and will feel comfortable to journal.
What is happening in your life?
Always remember to keep it simple and allow your writing to flow, remember to get into alignment and write what feels good and what feels right at the time.
What are you working on? What do you desire to experience in your life?
Purchase a new journal with an inspiring image and positive words on the cover, a special pen or a special pencil or both and colouring pens/pencils if you like.
And also, write 5 sentences: "Wouldn't it be nice if....." DREAM BIG!
Always remember that you are whole, perfect and complete so just know that everything will work out in the end.
I believe that there's no wrong or right way to journal, so please do not be too hard on yourself.
I think that it is very important for you keep your journal private and ask others to respect your privacy.
More importantly just allow your thoughts and feelings to flow. I really believe that hand writing your journal is important because when we hand write things we use a different part of our brain than when typing.
Your journal is a private and safe place for you to express whatever is on your mind without having to worry about the judgements and opinions of others.
It's important to dedicate at least a few minutes each day to honour yourself, your thoughts and your feelings.
Journal about your dreams, aspirations and the present day. Try to journal in as much detail as possible. Write about whatever you feel, just allow your thoughts and feelings to flow from your heart and onto the pages.
Writing by hand helps you get in touch with your thoughts and feelings better than typing does.
There is no time limit for journaling, you can journal from 1 to 20 minutes or even just one single line or for an hour or so.
If you like colour or if you are artistic I think it is a good idea to include this in your journal to make it look fun and colourful.
Learn to just go with the flow.
When journaling it is very important to ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE OF JOURNALING!
At times you may find yourself staring
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YOUNG MINDS - GRATITUDE JAR and say momentum, momentum, momentum to ask God/universe for more of what you can be grateful for in life.
PRINCIPLE #3 GRATITUDE JAR Take a moment to think about the word "GRATITUDE". What does "GRATITUDE" mean to you?
The positive energy on the post it will reunite with nature. Always remember that a negative mind will never give you positive results.
What else? What else?... I think it is very important to have a Gratitude Jar! When you have filled up your Gratitude Jar up to the top, you can empty it out and either use the post it notes to make a poster and display it on your wall. Or you can take the post it notes and bury in your garden or somewhere out in nature (because the post it notes are made from water it will decompose)
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Your Gratitude Jar will help you to practice positive thinking which can transform your life. Always remember that the choice is yours, how can you choose to become a part of the solution instead of being a part of the problem? Did you know that GRATITUDE can have these benefits?
YASMINE BEN SALMI ● Gratitude can increase your longterm well-being
● Gratitude can help to increase your productivity
● Gratitude can make you remember happy memories
● Gratitude can help you to shift your perspective toward a person and/or a painful experience
● Gratitude can reduce feelings of envy
Do you realise that you have so much to be grateful for?
● Gratitude can make you experience good feelings
Take a moment to think about all that you have been blessed with in life for example the people, the experiences, your health etc. At times, we do not realise how lucky we are until we hear what other people experience. For example:
● Gratitude can help you feel happy on a bad day ● Gratitude can help you to develop a good personality ● Gratitude can make you feel more optimistic
In many places around the world, including the UK, some children do not have family, friends, love, safety, support, access to education, opportunities and the freedom that you currently have. Learning about these things has made me realise how many things that I used to take for granted
● Gratitude can help you to focus on how fortunate you are in your life ● Gratitude can help to increase your confidence
Why don’t you take some time to list 10 things that you are grateful for and put notes about them in your gratitude jar.
● Gratitude can help to improve your sleep ● Gratitude can help you to make new friends ● Gratitude can help to increase your energy levels ● Gratitude can help you to feel good ● Gratitude can help you to relax ● Gratitude can help you to relax ● Gratitude make you friendlier towards others
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Help if your child is being Bullied Way back in the 50’s 60’s bullying was usually name calling and sometimes it may have resulted in it becoming physical. Which was scary enough back then, having to go to school and to endure this treatment every day from the pupils or in some cases the teachers. Yes in those days I believe even the teachers used to pick on some of the pupils, using both physical and verbal bullying. However in our modern world I feel bullying has certainly got worse. Due to the Internet, we have Cyber Bullying where children are bullied over the Internet and parents you may not even be aware of it. A child that is being bullied may feel it is all their fault, your child may even feel, stressed anxious, worried and frightened by the threat. How do I help your child who is being bullied? I help your child to deal with the negative feelings they have about themselves, giving them back their confidence and power to change the way they see the world and the way the world sees them. I have a testimonial on my website from a parent whose son I coached in my early days.
www.karenbaughannlp.co.uk 19 21
My name is Karen Baughan NLP Master Coach and Trainer. My passion is empowering my clients to achieve their full potential. Let me tell you how I finally overcame my own life challenges and can now help you do the same. After losing both my parents, my Dad suddenly at the age of 65 and nursing my mother for the last 6 years of her life, you could say I was in a bad place. I certainly did not have confidence and my self- esteem was non-existent. As someone put it “Karen was frightened of her own shadow.� I also had a massive phobia of rats and mice and even a leaf on the floor would have me screaming. As you can see it was all in the mind. I am living proof that I overcame that phobia. I am now a confident person that wants to help others achieve their dreams. I can help you in any area of your life from: *Losing weight * Quitting smoking *Bullying *Removing limiting beliefs and decisions about one self *Conquering fears and phobias *Goal setting *Breakthroughs in your personal and business life. If you truly want to achieve you full potential then visit www.karenbaughannlp.co.uk
JUST FOR YOU An interview with Natalie Hanley – NHS Psychological Wellbeing Therapist & part time doodler What do you do? I work for the NHS as a Psychological Wellbeing Practitioner for a mental health service initiative called Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT). What is IAPT? IAPT was set up so that more people, can get access to mental health support when they are struggling.
What is involved? I support clients to make, plan and achieve goals that they may have spent years putting off, as well as teaching them to be more self-aware of how their thoughts and behaviours impact on how they feel.
If you are struggling with work, home, life stress, anxiety, low mood, sleep difficulties, worry etc, you can find your local service and call up for an assessment.
This may mean retraining their thoughts to reduce worry and stress, improve sleep, mindfulness techniques, self-compassionate selftalk, assertiveness or setting goals.
Following that assessment, you may be able to access some practical mental health support which gives you a tool kit of coping strategies. You can contact the service directly by searching IAPT service + your location - or ask your GP to refer you.
What are Tidy Mind Doodles? Tidy Mind Doodles combines this training with my love of drawing!
How can you help? I teach people how to understand their warning flags, triggers and unhelpful thinking or behavioural habits which may be keeping them feeling stressed, anxious or low. We work together to build a tool kit which they can refer to anytime they notice those warning flags in the future.
They are only simple but they break down some of the therapy tools my clients find most helpful. They offer positive and uplifting messages of encouragement which can apply to yourself but can also be used with children to nurture a healthy discussion around self care and wellbeing. Tidy Mind Doodles can be found on my Instagram page and Facebook if you need a little pick me up.
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TIDY MIND DOODLES Your Tidy Mind Doodles really seem to resonate with a lot of people – What gave you the idea to start? When I started to work with clients I found that using doodles to break down concepts for people in a visual simple way was a real hit! Being Dyslexic I liked using my creativity to make psychological techniques simple and memorable! I love how one doodle can be interpreted in different ways – and used as a simple, quick and creative way to promote mental wellbeing and essential self-care tips.
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What is your top piece of advice for our readers? I think my favourite thing to tell my clients is to treat yourself like you would your child or a dear family member. We tend to be so kind, supportive and thoughtful when our friends are going through a rough time but we are not always that nice to ourselves. If we are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, then talking ourselves down is just going to make us feel worse.
MORE FABULOUS TIDY MIND DOODLES
For more self-care doodles follow Natalie Hanley on Twitter Facebook and Instagram: @tidyminddoodles Website: https://tidyminddoodles.wixsite.com/mysite
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Cath
PROBLEMS AT WORK? ��
Sleepless nights and dreading going to work tomorrow
�� Confidence low, unable to deal with difficult
people/situations �� Fed up of being unsupported and under valued �� Facing Redundancy & worrying whether you'll get another job �� Overwhelmed by your workload, pressure weighing you down �� At a crossroads but confused about what to do My own career was peppered with episodes of stress, frustration and feeling trapped. I took action for the sake of my health, relationships and sanity. I can help you do the same.
W ork is only part of who we are. Specialising in working with you, the human inside your job title, I ensure the changes you make are the right fit and you have the skills and the mind-set to get you there.
**FREE Telephone Taster Session: “Take the Weight off Work & Life” Book Here: www.achievemorelivemore.com/book-online
Life Changing Career Coaching with Michelle Tranter