EX-EX-GAY?
JOHN PAULK
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PQMONTHLY.COM Vol. 2 No. 4 Apr./May 2013
GAY PORTLAND A STRANGE FICTION
A PQ EXCLUSIVE
RACE DRAG SQL DEBATE CONTINUES
LOCKED OUT
HOW THE STATE STYMIED A Q CENTER VOLUNTEER
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PQ TEAM POLICY OF TRUTH Melanie Davis
Owner/Publisher melanie@pqmonthly.com
Gabriela Kandziora
Principal & Business Development
gabriela@pqmonthly.com
julie cortez
Editor-in-Chief julie@pqmonthly.com
chris alvarez
Art Director chris@pqmonthly.com
editorial TEAM daniel borgen
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nick mattos
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erin rook
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How does a community hold itself accountable without tearing its members down? How can we seek and report upon the truth while remaining cognizant of its subjectivity? We — as a community, and as a publication — have wrestled mightily with these questions lately. Human beings are incapable of true objectivity; as a result, the best any journalist or publication can aim for is fairness, balance, and thoroughness in their investigation and reporting. As you will see in a letter to the editor on page 10, some feel that PQ has fallen short of this aim and of our mission to represent “every color and every letter” of the LGBTQ community. We have not and will never claim that our coverage is above criticism; however, we strive to report the facts as we find them — and the words of those involved as they are delivered to us — without malice towards particular individuals, groups, or entities. If you have a perspective that you feel isn’t being represented in our coverage, we urge you to make yourself available as a source by contacting us at info@pqmonthly. com; we also welcome letters to the editor (be they critical or complimentary) at that address. Over the last few months, tensions have surfaced around race, privilege, and accountability in the community; as individuals and as a movement, queer people have struggled to understand how to talk about and ameliorate these issues respectfully and constructively. As we have seen it, one of the most positive outcomes of this situation has been its ability to starkly illuminate two ways to consider the question, “Why did you do that?” — as an accusation or as an inquiry. We need more of the latter. We must be willing to ask the hard questions, both of ourselves and of those around us, and accept the answers. We need to be able to account for our own missteps and the missteps of others in the community while also recognizing our shared, flawed, glorious humanity. As journalists and as a publication, we believe that this is the only means by which we can make real progress towards justice, reconciliation, and understanding. Seeking truth is hard, and it often hurts quite a bit. But, like setting a broken bone, it’s the only way we are ever going to heal. -The PQ Monthly Team
Photo by Julie Cortez, PQ Monthly
A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:
ON THE COVER
Dream it, speak it, do it at the 2013 Oregon Queer Youth Summit................ page 6 How the state is keeping one Q Center volunteer from giving back........... page 6
izzy ventura
Is John Paulk ready to renounce his ex-gay gospel?.................................... page 9
Staff Photographer izzy@pqmonthly.com
media
Debate continues over booking of blackface performer.............................. page 10
Director of Video Productions
Strange fiction: The virtual reality behind Gay Portland................................. page 13
503.228.3139
QDoc goes big with ‘Divine’ opening night..................................................... page 21
proudqueer.com
Radical Faerie Film Fest makes Portland debut.............................................. page 22
Sammi Rivera
Our anonymous model reads from one of John Paulk’s books — “Love Won Out,” about Paulk’s “conversion” from homosexuality. Has truth won out? Read more about Paulk’s current perspective on the ex-gay movement — and the LGBTQ community’s views on Paulk — on page 9. The National Advertising Representative of PQ Monthly IS Rivendell Media, Inc. Brilliant Media LLC, DBA El Hispanic NEws & PQ Monthly.
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Photo by Julie Cortez, PQ Monthly
‘Herstory/History’ is our story............................................................................. page 26 Hawks bathhouse celebrates one-year anniversary..................................... page 30
Columns: LGBTQ Legal Outlook; What a Riot!; The Lady Chronicles; Ponderlust; Everything is Connected; Cultivating Life; and Eat, Drink, and Be Mary. Plus Astroscopes, Queer Aperture, See and Be Seen … and more! April-May 2013 • 3
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NEWS BRIEFS
BREVITY ROCKS! NEWS FROM NEAR AND FAR
Left to right: George Nicola is the recipient of the 2013 Pride NW Community Activist Award (photo by Jules Garza); Cascade AIDS Project (CAP) hosts its annual Art Auction Gala April 27 (photo by Izzy Ventura); Portland DJ Monika MHz was one of three Oregonians recognized in the inaugural Trans 100 (photo by Jules Garza).
LOCAL Robert Paul Patton, the 44-year-old publisher of LGBTQ blog FabulousPDX.com and former Sherwood High School principal, was sentenced to two years in prison April 8 after pleading no contest to the attempted first-degree sexual abuse of a 12-year-old boy, according to the Oregonian. Patton, who was convicted in 2003 of sexually abusing a 16-year-old boy and possessing child pornography, was arrested on new charges July 18. The Trans 100, a joint project of Jen Richards of We Happy Trans and Antonia D’orsay of This is H.O.W., revealed its inaugural list of honorees April following a launch event in Chicago on March 29, corresponding with International Transgender Day of Visibility. The list was culled from 350 nominees and reflects a diverse group of leaders, including local activist and musician Monika MHz (who first shared her trans history publicly in PQ Monthly in January), Executive Director of Portland-based TransActive Education & Advocacy Jenn Burleton, and Oregon State University Queer Studies professor Qwo-Li Driskill. Pride NW announced the recipients of its 2013 Spirit of Pride and Community Activist awards April 14. The annual Spirit of Pride Award, which recognizes an LGBTQI-identified group who works to better the community, goes to Peacock Productions President Maria Council (aka Maria Peters Lake). In addition to putting on Peacock After Dark, the annual fundraising event for the Audria M. Edwards Scholarship Fund, Council serves as Rose Empress XXXVI and is the first female Empress is Court history. The Community Activist Award, given out every other year to organizations or individuals doing grassroots work with limited resources, goes to George Nicola, who has been active in the fight for LGBTQ equality since the early days of the movement. Portland Latino Gay Pride is currently seeking nominations for its annual Mariposa Award. The award is given to someone who has a history of involvement in and support of the Latino and/or LGBTQ community, a commitment to arts and culture, and dedication to social justice. Nominations can be submitted via email to laluchachair@yahoo. com or online at latinagayprodepdx.com. Recipients will be recognized July 20 at PLGP’s event “VOZ ALTA” at Q Center. Portland-based Veterans for Human Rights, an LGBTQ veterans group, will discuss its goals and directions for the coming year at its annual general membership meeting April 28 at 2 p.m. at Q Center. The meeting, which is open to the public, will also include election of officers and planning for the Color Guard for the Portland Pride Parade. The group is extending a special invitation to veterans with an “other than honorable” military discharge due to homopqmonthly.com
sexuality and an offer to assist in obtaining a discharge upgrade. For more information, visit vfhr.org. Dining Out for Life will raise funds for HIV/AIDS organizations across North America April 25 as participating restaurants donating 20-30 percent of the day’s profits to local organizations. In Portland, funds raised will go to Ecumenical Ministries of Oregon (EMO) HIV Day Center and the OHSU Partnership Project. Find a participating restaurant near you at www.diningoutforlife.com/portland. Portland Women’s Crisis Line and the Portland State University Women’s Resource Center host the annual Take Back the Night event April 25 from 6 to 8 at PSU’s Smith Memorial Student Union Parkway North. The event will include a speak-out, resource fair, entertainment, and a candle light/paper lantern vigil. Cascade AIDS Project (CAP) hosts its annual Art Auction Gala April 27 at Portland’s Memorial Coliseum. The gala is presented by the Hedinger Family Foundation with honorary co-chairs Ann and Mark Edlen and seeks to raise funds to support CAP and its programming for people affected by HIV/AIDS. The auction is the largest contemporary art auction in the Pacific NW. Individual tickets to the Patron’s Dinner are $250; tickets to the Grand Event are $100. Both are available online at capartauction.org. Kathleen Saadat will host a panel on race and racism called Our Voices with David Martínez, Cliff Jones, and Rupert Kinnard April 30 at Q Center. The panelists will share their experiences in movements for social justice and civil rights as well as personal stories about race and ethnicity. There will time at the end of the presentation for dialogue and questions. For more information visit pdxqcenter.org. Equity Foundation will honor women who work in service of equality at its annual Women Who Lead event May 15 at the Portland Art Museum. The first Leadership Award will go to Samantha Swaim of Samantha Swaim Fundraising LLC and the lifetime achievement award with go to Susie Shepherd, chair of the Bill and Ann Shepherd Legal Scholarship Committee. Learn more at equityfoundation.org.
NATIONAL PFLAG National honored LGBTQ allies at its fifth annual Straight for Equality Awards Gala on April 5 in New York City. This year’s award-winners included Sir Patrick Stewart (“X-Men: Days of Future Past,” “Star Trek: The Next Generation”), author John Irving (“The World According to Garp”), NFL players Brendon Ayanbadejo and Chris Kluwe, and the Whirlpool Coorporation. Among those who spoke at the event was former NFL commissioner and longtime PFLAG parent Paul Tagliabue.
Boston’s Fenway Institute has released a policy focus on cervical cancer and women who have sex with women, noting that lesbian and bisexual women are up to 10 times less likely to be screened for cervical cancer despite being just as likely as heterosexual women to develop it. The lack of screenings is attributed to the misconception that sexual minority women are not at risk and the fact that they face other general barriers to healthcare. As a result, cervical cancer poses a greater risk for women who have sex with women. Cervical cancer is typically caused by the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), which Fenways says can be passed through skin-to-skin genital contact, as well as potentially through oral-vaginal and digital-vaginal contact. In other words, you don’t have to sleep with men to get HPV and therefore be at risk for cervical cancer. Anyone who is sexually active and has a cervix is at risk. The Fenway Institute notes that transgender men should also be included in outreach efforts aimed at increasing screenings. Learn more at fenwayhealth.org/cervicalcancerfocus[2]. Concern over bacterial meningitis is growing in light of the deadly outbreak among gay men in New York City and the recent death of a gay man in Los Angeles. Health authorities in New York are recommending vaccinations for gay men in New York who are HIV-positive or non-monogamous, as well as for men in those categories who visited New York City since September 2012. But the Los Angeles case is increasing awareness on the West Coast. According to the Centers for Disease Control, bacterial meningitis is spread through contact with saliva (i.e. kissing, sharing drinks, people who spit while they talk), but not through sex or casual contact. People with compromised immune systems are at increased risk. To learn more about the symptoms of bacterial meningitis and the vaccine, visit cdc.gov/ meningitis/bacterial.html. Kansas HIV/AIDS activists are concerned that the broad deregulation of quarantine policies in a measure approved by the state Senate could put write discrimination into the state’s laws. In an effort to prevent the unnecessary quarantine of people with HIV/AIDS, state Sen. Marci Francisco tried to restore an amendment that would exempt people with HIV/AIDS from medical isolation. As of press time, the legislature had not approved the amendment. WORLD Uruguay’s Senate voted 23-8 to approve same-sex marriage on April 10, sending the bill to President José Mujica, who has indicated he supports it. If he signs the measure, Uruguay will become the third nation in the Americas, and the 13th in the world, to grant samesex couples equal marriage rights. Argentina legalized same-sex marriage in 2010. April-May 2013 • 5
NEWS NEWS
DREAM IT, SPEAK IT, DO IT AT THE 2013 OREGON QUEER YOUTH SUMMIT By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly
Queer youth, it’s your time to shine. The 2013 Oregon Queer Youth Summit wants your presence and your voice at Portland’s Jefferson High School on May 11. A conference by and for LGBTQA youth age 24 and younger, the OQYS focuses on identity, acceptance, youth empowerment, and social change by bringing folks from around the region together to foster fun times and community transformation. Now in its 10th year, the OQYS is known for its fully youth-driven offerings of diverse and engaging workshops on every aspect of the young queer experience. In keeping with this Youth participants at the Oregon Queer Youth Summit celebrate identity and community. year’s theme “Dream It. Speak It. Do it,” attendees will explore activism, queer identity, and youth empowerment by leading and participatthat I co-led a zine-making workshop for other youth, and, ing in the conference’s offerings. Past years’ workshops have remembering how alone and isolated I’d felt out in Clackincluded such topics as GSA management, safer sex edu- amas County, was thrilled at the idea the summit could be cation, sexuality and faith, drag performance 101, gender bringing youth together from across Oregon.” identity, social media as an activist tool, and makeup for Young people from all backgrounds are encouraged to queers. apply, especially younger students, youth of color, trans While the conference is focused upon youth under the teens, and students from small towns and rural areas; age of 18, many of the workshops are relevant for older high to help the latter group in particular, OQYS’s organizers school and college students as well. offer honorariums to offset the costs of transportation This year’s keynote address will be delivered by queer and lodging. storyteller, author, and teacher Sassafras Lowrey, who will While the conference is explicitly by and for youth, deliver the speech via Skype. adult allies are welcome to attend and lend their support “In 2003 I was part of the organizing of the very first by volunteering, co-leading youth-led workshops, and Oregon Queer Youth Summit,” Lowery said a post from their quietly supporting the attendees as they create the conblog. “I’d been living on my own for over a year and felt solid ference for themselves. Adults currently involved in supas a youth organizer and leader in that space. I remember porting a specific group of youth — say, school staff acting
Photos by Ryan Mahler, via CHATpdx
as GSA co-facilitators — are also welcome to attend. The Oregon Queer Youth Summit is sponsored by groups including the Oregon Safe Schools and Communities Coalition, Cascade AIDS Project, SMYRC, the Portland Gay Men’s Chorus, PFLAG and PFLAG Portland Black Chapter, and the City of Portland Office of Neighborhood Involvement. Most importantly, though, it’s created by youth, driven by youth, and informed by youth to empower youth. So, if you’re a queer under the age of 25: the Oregon Queer Youth Summit wants — and needs — you. The 2013 Oregon Queer Youth Summit will take place Saturday, May 11, at Jefferson High School (5210 N Kerby Ave., Portland), 8:45 a.m. to 5:45 p.m. Meals and snacks are provided free to all participants. For more information or to register, go to chatpdx.org/OQYS/ or contact Edgar Mendez at 503-223-5907.
LOCKED OUT: HOW THE STATE IS KEEPING ONE Q CENTER VOLUNTEER FROM GIVING BACK By Erin Rook PQ Monthly
Photo by Erin Rook, PQ Monthly
A failed state background check is keeping Q Center’s 2012 Volunteer of the Year from continuing her work. 6 • April-May 2013
When Natalie Marie was released from prison to a halfway house in January 2012, she’d been out of society for seven years. She’d gone in knowing she was queer, but started exploring her gender identity while incarcerated in a men’s facility. Upon Marie’s release, a Bureau of Prisons staff member pointed her toward Q Center. She visited on her first day free from prison and never really left — until the state pushed her out. The LGBTQ community center offered her a home base and much-needed support. During the six months she spent at the Northwest Regional Reentry Center, Marie says she had to fight for fair treatment and access to medial care. “While I was in the halfway house I was continually targeted for my gender identity. I was told how I could and could not dress, [what] functions I could participate
in in the community, and finally what type of medical treatment I could receive,” Marie says. “The solace I found was in friends and staff at Q Center who supported me and empowered me.” Q Center helped Marie connect with advocates at Basic Rights Oregon and the ACLU, who helped her file a grievance that ultimately forced the Northwest Regional Reentry Center to provide her medication. Marie has been giving back to the center for the past 14 months. The list of roles she’s had in a little more than a year is far longer than the list of drug-related property crimes that landed her in prison for close to a decade. She’s welcomed visitors at the reception desk and during special events (including Portland Pride). She has lifted up community members as a peer support group facilitator for the male-to-female trans group that meets at Q Center and as a cultural competency training organizer. She’s even expanded the reach of the LGBTQ community center by volunteering with its media
team, serving as its volunteer coordinator, initiating discussions about diversity and inclusion, and developing the business and job skills training model for Market Q. Q Center recognized this over-the-top dedication when it named Marie “Volunteer of the Year” at its annual fundraising gala in January. But all Marie’s contributions came to a screeching halt shortly after she learned that Q Center’s staff and volunteers would have to submit to background checks in order to comply with government grant requirements. “Due to the nature of Q Center’s programs and services, we are obligated to follow the state of Oregon’s background check policies and procedures, as are many other nonprofit organizations throughout the state,” says Logan Lynn, Q Center public relations manager. Open about her criminal background, and hoping to eventually leverage her volunteer work into a paid position at Q Center, Marie volunteered to get her background locked out page 14
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NEWS FEATURES
IS JOHN PAULK READY TO RENOUNCE HIS EX-GAY GOSPEL? And is the LGBTQ community prepared to welcome him back into the fold? By Byron Beck PQ Monthly
It was late in the evening at The Eagle Portland, a notorious gay bar that hosts a oncemonthly queer dance party, Maricón, on the first Saturday of each month. Maricón (roughly the equivalent of “faggot” in Spanish) is popular and attracts a big crowd of queers. That night it also attracted John Paulk, a short, stocky ,and perpetually tan 50-year-old man who is the owner and executive chef of Mezzaluna Catering. Paulk’s company website says Mezzaluna is an “exclusive, upscale alternative to mundane, run-of-the-mill catering companies.” His client list has included numerous politicians, local leaders, and nonprofit agencies tied closely to the LGBTQ community — as well as possibly the most powerful gay man in Oregon, Terry Bean. What Paulk’s site fails to mention: he’s also probably the world’s most recognized member of the ex-gay movement and for many years was a poster boy for conversion therapy — also known as “reparative therapy,” pseudo-scientific treatments that aim to change sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. Paulk was the movement’s face — until he was spotted at a gay bar in Washington, D.C., on Sept. 19, 2000, by Wayne Besen of Truth Wins Out. Then, Paulk was founder and leader of the ex-gay ministry Love Won Out, as well as the chairman of the board of Exodus International, an organization that offers “freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ.” Not long after Paulk’s “outing,” his leadership position in the ex-gay movement was greatly reduced — John Paulk’s biography on Mezzaluna’s website boasts that his “client list reads like a who’s- although his wife, Anne, a who of sports figures, national celebrities, CEO’s, and politicians.” “former lesbian,” is a star of the movement to this day. Confrontation Stephen Cassell, a public relations expert and queer activist, was among the first to spot Paulk at The Eagle, and he wasn’t about to let the chance to speak to the ex-gay poster boy pass him by. “The work John has done is exactly the kind of work I have fought against my entire adult life,” Cassell told PQ Monthly. “When I saw John I was conflicted. I decided I couldn’t let my feelings go. I approached him and asked him if he would mind having a hard discussion with me.” The two chatted, and Cassell asked John if he’d publicly come out against his work with the ex-gay movement. According to Cassell, Paulk said he couldn’t because of his “relationship with his children.” “I told him by not saying anything he validates the work that his wife does against our community,” Cassell recalled. “He then offered me an apology for the damage he caused if he hurt me. He was tearing up.” Roey Thorpe, former director of Basic Rights Oregon and a leader in the national LGBTQ rights movement through her job with the Equality Federation Institute, is familiar with Paulk’s work and words. She first heard about him when the Love Won Out tour came to Portland in June of 2003. “It was aimed toward LGBT people, telling them that they could be cured by Christianity, but also toward our families, telling them that acceptance is not the loving thing to pqmonthly.com
do, but instead pushing LGBT people to repent and change,” Thorpe said. She and BRO put on an alternative conference called Love Welcomes All, aimed at those hurt by the ex-gay movement. Thorpe is concerned Paulk is currently pursuing catering work in Portland’s LGBTQ community without disclosing his past. She believes people have a right to know about his background. “John Paulk isn’t just a conflicted man who hasn’t been able to reconcile his sexuality with his faith — we are all sympathetic to that and many of us have had that struggle. This is different,” Thorpe said. “Thousands of young people have been forced into religious conversion programs, shamed into believing they are sinners. Families have been encouraged to reject their children, and queer kids end up on the streets or committing suicide. Others live silently, filled with shame. This is how the Paulk family has made their living. I have dear friends who have been through hell and are still exiled from their families because of John Paulk. It’s important for people to know who they are doing business with.” Michael Sorensen, director of development for Cascade AIDS Project (CAP), heard about Paulk from friends who worked for him as servers and bartenders. Sorensen said he was aware of Paulk’s work in the ex-gay movement and what Paulk refers to as his self-described efforts at “reparations.” “I interviewed him over the phone and email,” Sorensen recalled. “I talked to others who had used him.” Sorensen then hired Paulk for an event but said CAP cancelled the contract due to what he called “community pressure.” When asked if he thought the LGBTQ community has a right to know about Paulk’s past, Sorensen replied, “I think people have a right to work.” Doing business Paulk began Mezzaluna in 2005 — not long after Photo by Jules Garza, PQ Monthly he and his family moved “I don’t think there’s any group that’s done as much damage to gay kids as Love Won Out,” says to Oregon — as a personal Terry Bean, seen here with his frequent sidekick, former Oregon Gov. Barbara Roberts. chef business and over a few years it grew into catering and executing larger events. “Honestly, I love catering non-profit events,” Paulk told PQ Monthly. “I am passionate about causes and giving back to the community. I get as excited about my clients’ passions as they are and want them to feel that, as their caterer, I have their back and am going to represent them well.” One of the nonprofits Mezzaluna has served is Our House, which provides healthcare, housing, and other vital services to low-income people living with HIV/AIDS. Last year Paulk was a celebrity chef for two of Our House’s popular dinner series. “We appreciate the sentiment that John showed when he offered the donations of his time and services ... to the Our House Dinner Series for 2012-13,” said James Lindqust, Our House associate director of development. One of those dinners was for longtime partners Gary Nelson and Minh Tran. The couple had no knowledge of Paulk’s involvement in the ex-gay movement until 24 hours before the dinner — too late to change the caterer, according to Tran. “We just kept it quiet,” Tran said. “We had no other choice but to work with him.” Reckoning Wayne Besen does anything but keep quiet about John Paulk. The founder of Truth Wins Out, which works actively against the ex-gay movement, Besen said Paulk’s long career in anti-gay activism began in 1992, with appearances in the propaganda films “The Gay Agenda” and “Gay Rights Special Rights,” which portrayed LGBTQ people as mentally ill, disease-spreading sex fiends, subversive elements hell-bent on undermining society, and pedophiles. According to Besen, Paulk’s position in the ex-gay movement put him in the spotlight, with appearances on “Oprah,” “60 Minutes,” and “Good Morning America.” “John was quoted in nearly every major newspaper in America,” Besen said. “It is no JOHN PAULK page 14
April-May 2013 • 9
NEWS FEATURES
RACE DRAG: DEBATE CONTINUES OVER LETTER BOOKING OF BLACKFACE PERFORMER TO THE
EDITOR
By Erin Rook PQ Monthly
Three months ago, North Portland leather bar The Eagle publicized an upcoming performance by blackface drag queen Shirley Q. Liquor, an “ignunt” Southern Black mother on welfare portrayed by Chuck Knipp. Accusations of racism quickly followed. The incident has exposed deep divides around race, the meaning of art, and approaches to accountability in the LGBTQ community. Eagle booking manager Michael Talley cancelled the event within a day of announcing it, apologized for the booking, and said the bar would hold an “open forum about race” on March 27. When that date came and went without a forum, or further public statement about the booking, a group called Queer Racial Justice PDX — formed in response to the incident — delivered a letter to the Eagle listing suggested actions the bar could take to demonstrate accountability to the surrounding (historically African-American) neighborhood and the larger community.
Dear PQ,
QRJPDX “We believe that booking this racist and misog- Community members respond (clockwise from top left): Poison Waters (photo by Xilia Faye); Anthony Hudson, aka Carla Rossi (photo by Erin ynist event, as well as your poor handling of the Rook); Kourni Capree Duv; Tobin Britton; Monica Lee Noé (photo by Mia Nakano, visibilityproject.org); and Wesley Walton (photo by Eric Sellers). outcry that resulted, has been painful and damaging to our community on the whole, to your North Portland neigh- when a person says to me, ‘Blackface is artistic expression,’ and I have bors, to African American women, and specifically to LGBTQI people an actual black face.” of color,” QRJPDX wrote in the March 29 letter (available online at PQ sought an interview with Knipp through his booking agency, pqmonthly.com). Divas and DJs, as well as via Twitter. The request sent to Knipp’s agent While the letter encouraged the business to take the “opportunity” was denied. Knipp had not responded as of press time. to “establish a process of restorative justice,” many who read it took African-American drag queen Poison Waters says that once she realissue with a tone perceived as demanding and were upset by a request ized SQL was a white man, she knew it wasn’t good. for financial reparations. “There isn’t — or shouldn’t be — one grown person who doesn’t Monica Lee Noé, a queer Asian Latina not affiliated with QRJPDX, know that white people painting on black face is just plain wrong. thinks reparations are appropriate, whether the bar ultimately made Period,” she says. money off of SQL’s act or not. Fellow African-American drag queen Kourtni Capree Duv agrees “I think it is enough that they planned on profiting from racism,” and says she doesn’t buy Knipp’s claim that SQL is a celebration of the Noé says, “[and] that they didn’t even see it as a problem.” black women he’s known in his life. The letter also suggested that the Eagle owner and staff attend “It was like a white person calling me a nigger,” Duv says. “Shirley Q. anti-racism trainings and participate in a community dialogue about Liquor wants to say that she is paying homage to her nanny? You disrace. The group said it was open to other ideas and asked the Eagle to grace my race, poke fun at our struggle, perpetuate stereotypes, start respond within 10 days. racial riots in communities, and call it art? I think not!” The Eagle made no formal response to the letter’s requests. Owner Anthony Hudson, a Grand Ronde Indian who performs in drag as Patrick Lanagan declined an interview, but gave a brief statement: Carla Rossi and was scheduled to open for Shirley Q. Liquor at the “Eagle Portland is focusing on other issues at this time. Kudos to those Eagle, says intention isn’t everything. most active in our fight for equality,” he said. “Any good performer should go into a piece with a willingness to The Eagle may not have much to say, but community members cer- engage with whatever criticisms or consequences their work will incur,” tainly do. A few people shared their thoughts on the record; not every- Hudson says. “To reject criticism or consequence, or to simply defer to one we asked was willing. intention rather than acknowledging the actual effects of one’s work, These interviews brought up a number of issues: Is blackface racist? regardless of intention, is bullshit — and the sign of a lazy artist.” If so, is anyone who supports or condones it a racist, too? How should Hudson says he had planned to perform a number “lampooning LGBTQ communities respond to these actions and when is an apol- whiteness and post-racial discourse” and hoped to meet Knipp and ogy enough? gain insight into the racism he says “informs, if not drives” Knipp’s act. Hudson pulled out of the show when he realized his participation was Is it racist? Does it matter? seen as condoning that racism. In online debates, a number of people defended SQL’s act and the Eagle’s decision to book it, arguing that blackface is “just comedy.” Some said that it is racist, but it doesn’t matter as long as it’s funny. Others said that “offensive” art makes people think and is therefore valuable. “I want people to recognize there are humans attached to these stereotypes that Shirley Q. Liquor is performing,” says Equity Foundation Executive Director Karol Collymore. “My feelings are attached 10 • April-May 2013
Ripple effects and unintended consequences Wesley Walton, who hosts the monthly dance night Maricón at the Eagle, says he was disappointed that Shirley Q Liquor was booked at a venue with which he is affiliated. Still, he thinks the continued criticism and shunning of the Eagle is undeserved and rejects claims that the bar is misogynistic or racist. He’s also frustrated by calls to boycott the Eagle. RACE DRAG page 21
Your motto is “Every Letter, Every Color,” but in a recent web article you posted (“Queer Racial Justice PDX Urges Further Action from Eagle on Shirley Q. Liquor Booking”) it was apparent that, again, not everyone was represented. Instead the piece read like a match to a moltov cocktail. The writing was tilted in support of the letter, which is not reporting, but opinion. This bias was evident as the article fully focused on a group demanding reparations because they, specifically, feel offended, while the Q Center’s tried and failed attempts to hold a discussion, and the fact that many community members of color came to the support of The Eagle and their booking choices, went ignored and unreported. QRJ and The Eagle are not the only voices on this issue. And while I can understand and sympathize with portions of QRJ’s letter, the fact remains that PQ’s coverage of this issue has been “radically” one sided. Portland is not free from racism, and for the record I am not a fan of Shirley Q Liquor. But in all the coverage of race relations I’ve seen in PQ, I have yet to see comprehensive reporting. Instead I see writing specifically attached to the most radical of Portland’s queer people of color, while any time someone in our community voices concern it has been shot down as part of the “oppressor race” or “white washed.” As a queer Jewish boy who grew up in a rural community, I understand oppression, maybe not on the same level as some QPOC, but enough to see that it can happen in many different ways. I am continually disappointed in how biased and one sided PQ has been in our community, and at the lack of fair and broad coverage. Including radicalism and activism is excellent, we need it, but I hope to see you also include more of how the whole community is responding to an issue, report when you say you are reporting, and actually live up to your motto one day. - Samuel Thomas
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April-May 2013 • 11
PERSPECTIVES
12 • April-May 2013
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FEATURES FEATURES
STRANGE FICTION: THE VIRTUAL REALITY BEHIND GAY PORTLAND
With the exception of Quezz Burton (upper left), all of the photos on Gay Portland’s “staff members” page were fraudulent. By Nick Mattos and Ryan Jay PQ Monthly
Quezz Burton sat in the sunny window of a SW Portland café, running the stud of his tongue piercing along the inside of his lips. The “founder and CEO” of start-up online media source Gay Portland, Burton calmly launched into the story of how he arrived in the city. “I moved out here from Northern Minnesota,” he explained. “My mother lives out there, so I was taking care of her. She’s mentally ill.” Soon after arriving in town, Burton said he met a woman named Emily Larsen who would shortly thereafter become his business partner. “Emily is a lot of fun,” he said. “Without her, I probably would have shut [Gay Portland] down after the second day,” noting that it was Emily who compelled him to change Gay Portland from a personal blog into a “media and event source” soliciting donations and selling advertisements to the region’s LGBTQ community. However, there is reason to believe “Emily Larsen,” along with many other personae connected with Burton, may not exist. THE PHANTOM STAFF In February 2013, many prominent members of Portland’s queer community began to receive friend requests from Burton, along with messages inviting them to “like” the forthcoming media enterprise Gay Portland. While the site was slated to launch April 1, GayPortland.org went live in March, with much of the first month’s content already linked and available. At first glance, the site seemed like a folksy, upbeat consideration of the city’s queer scene; its blog posts covered such topics such as Drag Out PDX, the Portland Gay Men’s Chorus, the Equity Foundation (misidentified as “The Equality Foundation”), and a CC Slaughters bartender. Each was credited to one of five staff people — Burton, Larsen, Dao Ling, Alex Ferro, and Tasha Baxter. Prominently featured was an essay, credited to Ferro, pqmonthly.com
A WORLD OF PURE IMAGINATION introducing Burton as “The Face of Gay Portland.” In it, Ferro described him as a former “fashion icon, host of PQ discovered this was not the first time in recent hisan internet talk show, facilitator of an GLBT group, fashion designer, teenage runway model, runway hair styl- tory that Burton was found at the center of a strange conist, reporter for a gay magazine, journalist for a major troversy of false identities. Only a year ago, Burton allegedly newspaper, spokesperson and speaker for an [sic] cancer used an online virtual reality game called InWorldz to fake his own death — and in doing so attempted to garner donaorganization.” Gay Portland’s “Sponsors” page listed some of the tions from unsuspecting members of the virtual commuregion’s largest queer nonprofits, including Cascade nity, just as he is now soliciting funds from Portland’s realAIDS Project, Oregon United for Marriage, Q Center, and life gay community. A user-created virtual world similar to “Second Life” the Portland Gay Men’s Chorus. An edited version of the page, posted a few days after PQ’s interview with Burton, or “The Sims,” InWorldz bills itself as a means to give its renamed the groups as “Supporters.” PQ Monthly was users “the freedom to create, express and be themselves listed amongst these “Supporters,” along with a state- or something completely different” by buying credits that ment that PQ was partnering with Gay Portland as a allow them to customize their user avatars and abilities within the game. Inside the larger InWorldz universe are a media ally. However, PQ never agreed to any form of partner- number of smaller themed “cities,” including a queer-oriship with or sponsorship of Gay Portland. When que- ented destination called Gay City. On Jan. 29, 2012, GayWorlds News (a blog affiliated with ried by PQ, representatives from all the nonprofits listed said they hadn’t authorized the site to identify them as Gay City) posted a bio written by Quezz Burton introduc“sponsors” or “supporters” either, nor had they heard ing himself and a woman named Genkido Ramaty, claiming that they were “not only the Gay City area foundof Gay Portland. “I’m not sure how they got that information [about the ers,” but also real-life brother and sister. The article was sponsorship or support],” said Ricky Armendariz of the accompanied by a roughly-rendered 3D-animated image Portland Gay Men’s Chorus to PQ, “or how they got the of a bodybuilder — Burton’s InWorldz avatar — and a buxom blonde female avatar in a skimpy bathing suit, information for the article that they wrote about us.” Gay Portland’s staff also seemed to materialize out ostensibly Ramaty. Burton and Ramaty stated that their intention with Gay City was to of nothing; research indicated there “create a place of acceptance for was no record that any of the writall, no matter what gender or sexers had any previous publication uality they are.” Burton was eviexperience, social media presence, dently heavily into InWorldz; PQ or means of contact. A Google image even discovered two online televisearch revealed that, with the excepsion shows, “the QT Show” and the tion of Burton, every Gay Portland “OMG It’s Quezz Show,” in which staff person was represented by a Burton talks at length about the photo of someone else — actress virtual world, expressing joy and Lynn Chen for Dao Ling, Evangeliamusement at the alternate life he cal author Jonathan Merritt for Alex enjoyed within it. Ferro, and a private citizen in ChiIn a Feb. 24, 2012, GayWorlds cago for Tasha Baxter. Emily Larsen, News post titled “The Passing of whom Burton claimed to know intiQuezz Burton,” Ramaty claimed mately, used a stock photo on the Gay that Burton was killed in a car acciPortland page as well as her Facedent two days earlier; she gave book account; her photo appears on numerous details of Burton’s death, hundreds of pages listing Russian “Quezz Burton” and “Genkido Ramaty” avatars from InWorldz including the iciness of the roads, mail-order brides. When confronted about the findings, Burton claimed Burton’s presence in the car, and that he had died on the that he had never met Ferro, but was interviewed by scene while awaiting help. On March 17, 2012, a user named “Chrystyna Violette” him for the “Face of Gay Portland” article via Facebook (despite there being no one by that name listed on the posted to a Topix forum discussing InWorldz, identifying social network as living in the area). Burton also claimed herself as Burton’s other real-life sister and asserting that to have met Ling and Baxter in person, but said that “Dao he had in fact passed away; she also claimed that his family [Ling] didn’t look like her picture.… She was whiter in had tried to “wipe his existence clean” for homophobic person,” and that Baxter “looks exactly like her photo.” reasons, and had somehow barred the press from reportBurton identified “Larsen’s” photo as hers, but claimed ing anything about the serious car accident that killed her brother. “I don’t want to believe he’s gone,” Violette wrote, that her hair color was different. In response to the community organizations listed as “[and] I feel that he is not.” On March 30, 2012, InWorldz user “Sunbeam” posted “Sponsors” or “Supporters,” Burton initially said that he spoke with each of them before listing them on the web- a blog to their personal WordPress account saying that site, but later said Larsen spoke with others to verify. When after the announcement of Burton’s death, they and their asked for Larsen’s contact info to get her comment on the partner, “Duderz Lebowski,” investigated the claim and situation, Burton said that he did not know how to contact discovered that Burton had faked his death and, using the persona of “Genkido Ramaty,” had proceeded to her other than via email. “Good luck getting ahold of her,” he said. gay portland page 22 April-May 2013 • 13
FEATURES FEATURES
JOHN PAULK: “I no longer support the ex-gay movement or efforts to attempt to change individuals — especially teens who already feel insecure and alienated.” Continued from page 9
Paulk does have his fair share of local supporters. exaggeration to say that the ubiquity of [his] media efforts suggest that he might, in fact, be moving toward accept“Chef John is an amazing person to work for,” said ing who he is. ensured that the vast majority of Americans were subjected to testimony that Paulk had ‘prayed away the gay.’” Jeremy Neel, Mezzaluna’s openly gay catering captain. “Until recently, I have struggled all my life in feeling As Besen sees it, Paulk’s impact in this arena only grew “He is very compassionate, friendly, caring, encouraging, unloved and unaccepted,” Paulk said. “I have been on a with his ascension to Focus on the Family, where he helped and supportive…. I love my job. It is sad that some people journey during the last few years in trying to understand in the LGBT community are saying negative things about God, myself, and how I can best relate to others. During found its Love Won Out national ex-gay road show. “At these splashy Love Won Out shows, Paulk sold a him yet have not given him a chance. One’s past should not this journey I have made many mistakes and I have hurt vision — for a profit — that offered false hope and heal- define who they are.” many people including people who are close to me. I ing to desperate and vulnerable Christian parhave also found a large number of people ents who were terrified and confused when their who accept me for who I am regardless of children came out of the closet,” said Besen, my past, any labels, or what I do.” who attended several of these events. “The most Paulk continued, “I no longer support the heartbreaking part of these events was when ex-gay movement or efforts to attempt to these parents were either blamed for turning change individuals — especially teens who their children gay, or they were falsely told their already feel insecure and alienated. I feel great child’s homosexuality was the result of molessorrow over the pain that has been caused tation.” when my words were misconstrued. I have In a letter to Paulk, Besen outlined a series of worked at giving generously to the gay comkey steps he thinks Paulk needs to take locally to munity in Portland where I work and live. I am help begin to compensate for his earlier actions working hard to be authentic and genuine in against the LGBTQ community. They include all of my relationships.” renouncing Portland Fellowship, a local “exGay activist and political fundraiser Terry gay” organization and Exodus affiliate; going on Bean, who booked Mezzaluna for an event a speaking tour with fellow LGBTQ advocates to at his home before he discovered the comshow that he has come full-circle; and supportpany’s ties to the ex-gay movement, would ing an Oregon bill prohibiting so-called reparalike to see Paulk do much more than say he tive therapy for minors. is sorry. Thorpe, too, thinks Paulk needs to take action “I will personally encourage people to boyif he wishes to atone. “I believe that people can cott him until he rectifies some of the damage change and that we need to recognize change he’s done,” said Bean, who in addition to his when it occurs,” she said. “But even though John high-profile political work is the owner of may be personally reconsidering his views, the Bean Investment Real Estate. “He needs to Photo by Izzy Ventura, PQ Monthly fact that he has remained silent and not publicly go on a nationwide tour — to tell people what renounced the ex-gay movement has allowed “The process of learning to be who you are is tough,” says Kurt Granzow, aka “Sister Krissy Fiction” of The Sisters of Perpetual a sham the ex-gay ministry is, and tell people Anne to continue to earn a living as an ex-gay Indulgence. “I’ve just tried to be a compassionate friend [to Paulk].” nationwide he understands the damage he’s Kurt Granzow, aka “Sister Krissy Fiction” of The Sisters of done and he encourages other people not to do it. Until leader who lies about her family and her husband. It’s appalling that his silence perpetuates her lies and the direct Perpetual Indulgence, has a background similar to Paulk’s. he does that, I think it’s critical that people boycott him damage to LGBT people and our families. It’s good that he “I was in the ex-gay movement and a conservative Chris- and his business. wants to help the community, but it is meaningless until he tian minister for over a decade before I moved to Portland “It’s much bigger than Oregon,” Bean continued. “This speaks out and puts a stop to the bad things that are hap- and came out,” Granzow said. “I’ve been trying to support is damage he’s done to millions of kids — kids who tried to John in his process of leaving that stuff behind. I remem- ‘pray the gay away’ and when they couldn’t, killed thempening because of this lie. “John Paulk has blood on his hands,” Thorpe added, “and ber what it was like to look in the mirror with shame and selves. Every hour he waits to do this, there are kids being he does not deserve our acceptance until he stops the damage self-loathing. The process of learning to be who you are is badly hurt by the stuff that’s out there — the things he conthat he is allowing to continue. Then he can give back, and not tough. I’ve just tried to be a compassionate friend.” tinues to not refute publicly. I don’t think there’s any group in a way that builds his need for attention and his business, that’s done as much damage to gay kids as Love Won Out. Coming clean but in a way that is selfless and non-self-promoting. It’s time John is in a unique position to make a very real difference.” for him to come to terms with himself and stop being at the Daniel Borgen contributed additional reporting to this story. Paulk’s emailed response to PQ’s interview questions mercy of his own shame, and inflicting it on everyone else.”
locked out Continued from page 6
check out of the way early. She made a point to include the kind of supporting documentation the Oregon Department of Health and Human Services says it weighs in its decisions — the impact of several years struggling with addiction, the amount of time that’s passed, and her considerable achievements since been released. “I also submitted a detailed explanation of how my success to date has been largely possible because of my involvement with Q Center and being able to engage in service to the community,” Marie says, adding that she can finally look at herself in the mirror and be proud of who she is — a “trans/genderqueer, Latina, radical, feminist, activist, organizer, rebel rouser, conflicted, conflict instigator, second class citizen, and queerdo.” But it wasn’t enough. Marie failed the background check. 14 • April-May 2013
She’s appealing the decision and hopes that community support and thorough documentation will be enough to overturn the state’s decision. In the meantime, she’s had to stop volunteering at the center. “[I] feel hurt at the possibility that I may be kicked out of that community that I’ve given so much time, energy, and love to,” she says. While Marie is hopeful that her appeal will be successful, she also wants to raise awareness about the barriers to equality LGBTQ people with criminal records face. “The state of Oregon is perpetuating a system of oppression that alienates people and treats them as second-class citizens,” Marie says. “The ‘law’ is not serving justice until the laws are no longer applied disproportionately with regard to race, gender, class, and sexual orientation. They are discriminatory. Period.” Lynn says that it’s a difficult balancing act. Q Center supports Marie to the extent that it is able, but it can’t compromise its funding sources.
“Q Center understands the complexities of these issues and we continue to challenge these policies and procedures within our capacity, while also accepting the responsibility of ensuring the safety of those most vulnerable in our care, and maintaining the fiscal integrity of the organization.” Marie gets it. Though she doesn’t work with children or youth at Q Center, she says she understands the impulse to protect them. “I strongly believe that as a community we have a responsibility to protect our youth, and people who abuse children are a danger,” Marie says. “I also feel that the communities/organizations that are being directly affected should have the determining voice or at least weigh heavily into the considerations … rather than having their community voice silenced by the state board’s determination.” Stay tuned for the outcome of Natalie Marie’s appeal and continuing coverage of LGBTQ people and the prison system. pqmonthly.com
OPINION
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April-May 2013 • 15
FEATURES FEATURES
16 • April-May 2013
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FEATURES
LGBTQ LEGAL OUTLOOK HOW SCOTUS COULD IMPACT THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST By Mark Johnson Roberts PQ Monthly
It has been 20 years since Hawaii’s Supreme Court held that state’s marriage law unconstitutional, and 17 years since Congress passed the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in response. This year, the U.S. Supreme Court heard oral argument in two marriage cases. “United States v. Windsor” challenges DOMA’s limitation of federal marriage laws to opposite-sex couples. “Hollingsworth v. Perry” is a federal challenge to Proposition 8, California’s constitutional prohibition of marriage for same-sex couples. Depending on the court’s ruling, the outcome in these cases could have a major impact here in the Northwest. In the DOMA case, Edith Windsor was charged with a $365,000 federal estate tax bill when her wife died, which she would not have incurred had she been married to a man. It appears to most commentators, myself included, that DOMA will likely be overturned. The attorney for the members of Congress backing DOMA did a masterful job of trying to define the issue as something other than discrimination, but the justices were having none of it. The court’s five more liberal justices — Breyer, Ginsburg, Kagan, Kennedy, and Sotomayor — peppered him with questions throughout the hearing. Ginsburg famously referred to the federal statute as creating a “skim-milk marriage” for gay people. While the precise reason for the court’s ruling remains unclear, it seems unlikely that DOMA will stand. A favorable ruling in “Windsor” would mean a great deal for Washington residents, as marriages celebrated in that state would now be honored by the federal government. It likely would have little immediate impact in Oregon, as the state does not yet have marriage rights for same-sex couples. For those Oregonians who have married elsewhere, some federal laws will start to cover their marriages where they haven’t before. One of the peculiarities of federal law, though, is that sometimes it turns on the law of the state of residence. In other words, because Oregon doesn’t recognize same-sex marriages, some federal benefits may still be out of reach. It is possible that the federal government will begin treating civil unions as marriages. If that is the case, it would have a major Oregon impact, as couples registered under the domestic partnership law would immediately become eligible for federal rights and benefits as though they were married. While it may seem counterintuitive, we already have seen examples of both the federal and some state governments treating civil unions
in this way. The outcome in “Hollingsworth” is very difficult to predict. Sometimes, in the process of litigating a case, the court concludes that it shouldn’t have taken it in the first place. The outcome in such cases is a dismissal of the case as “improvidently granted.” Based on the justices’ statements and questions at oral argument, there is clearly some sentiment on the court for disposing of the case in this way. While this disposition would make marriage once again legal for same-sex couples in California, it would have little impact elsewhere. If the court decides the merits, there is a strong likelihood that the court will rely on its already-developed case law for viewing discrimination based on sexual orientation rather than creating new law. Those older cases hold, in essence, that a state that wants to discriminate must advance some legitimate government purpose for doing so. So far, the states confronted with that burden have been unable to carry it, and California cannot do so here, either. Each of the reasons it advances to justify the distinction has already been undercut by its own law, which gives all the rights and obligations of marriage through its civil union statute. This is the Obama administration’s so-called “eight-state solution,” and it would impact each of the states that have adopted civil unions, including Oregon. Those states are the ones that have actually constructed a “separate but equal” system for same-sex relationship recognition, which the court would be holding as inappropriate. While the justices were critical of this solution at argument, it holds great political appeal. It allows the court to adopt an incremental approach, which it likes to do in contentious cases. It would apply only to those states that have adopted civil union laws, where presumably resistance to marriage equality is at its lowest. And it would allow the remaining states to come to their own conclusions on the issue for the time being. It is possible that the LGBTQ equivalent of “Loving v. Virginia” — the case that legitimated interracial marriage across the United States — will come out of the “Hollingsworth” case, but the court may judge that the time for such a sweeping ruling is not yet upon us. If it does rule for marriage equality across the board, then it’s possible that the final chapter for marriage discrimination in America will have been written. We can expect some final attempt to amend the Constitution, but presumably that outcome is remote. I’ll be waiting along with you to see what ruling the court makes in June.
Portland attorney Mark Johnson Roberts is a former president of the National LGBT Bar Association and of the Oregon State Bar. He practices family law at the Gevurtz Menashe law firm with a particular focus on LGBT family law issues. He can be reached at markj@gevurtzmenashe.com.
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April-May 2013 • 17
FEATURES CALENDAR
18 • April-May 2013
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GET OUT!
SATURDAY, APRIL 27 Vancouver’s Coronation: No, not Canada, silly, our sisters across the river. There are a variety of Imperial Sovereign Rose Court activities this weekend (Fri-Sun), and things come to a head Saturday night: the event is Invasion of Candyland, where G.I. Joe meets the Sugarplum Fairy. Interpret as you will. Check out the Facebook event for complete listings. 5pm, Red Lion Vancouver, 100 Columbia Street. $40. More info: impcourt.org/icis/chapters/ vanusa.html. FRIDAY, APRIL 19 Dress Code: What happens when you put Asia Blow Pony welcomes Raja! (RuPaul’s Drag Race Ho Jackson, Shitney Houston, Kaj-Anne Pepper, Season Three Winner.) Still only $5 to ride the Pony. Svetlana Trantastic, Helena Keller, and four amazing (Raja!) 9pm, Rotture, 315 SE Third. $5. deejays under one roof? Come find out. (There are loads of other performers, we just ran out of space.) FRIDAY, MAY 3 Dress Code is a dance party/performance art eve- Pablo Cáceres celebrates Vancouver’s First Friday ning where the concept is self-expressive costum- art walk with “Ice Cream Social,” a new collection of ery/attire/drag/fetish gear/whatever you find self-ex- digital illustrations. The artist himself will be at Angst pressive. Just dress up—because if you don’t, you Gallery meeting, greeting, and hugging during the pay. 10pm, Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11. $4 evening of First Friday. Make the trek, check out downtown Vancouver’s art scene. (It’s pretty great, I dressed, $10 not. used to live there.) 5pm, Angst Gallery, 1015 Main Street. SATURDAY, APRIL 20 Mac Attack. The Portland Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence invite you to get your gluttony on, Portland- WEDNESDAY, MAY 8 comfort-food-style. Florentine mac, pesto and mush- Save the date. Celebrate queer activist Cameron room mac, and bacon mac (which they’ll also deep Whitten’s birthday (albeit a month late) and supfry for you)—put on your eating dress and eat all port Street Roots. From Cameron: “Not only if this the pasta with the Sisters. Or come and watch every- an opportunity to celebrate, but this is an opportuone else eat and feel very thin. Choose your choice. nity to acknowledge the fulfillment activism brings to 4-6:30pm, The Fox and Hounds, 217 NW Second. our lives. We’ll be holding a benefit for Street Roots, which does incredible work to empower the disad$12 per person/$20 for 2. vantaged.” $25 donation is encouraged, and we’ll have more about the time and place online—so MONDAY, APRIL 22 “Drag Race” Viewing Party—each Monday, bookmark our blog, dear readers. Scandals puts your favorite drag queen sprinting contest on the big screen. Admit it, the show is so much WEDNESDAY, MAY 15 more fun with friends. (Even strangers.) Hosted by Women Who Lead Luncheon. Save the date for Summer Seasons—there’s always a mini drag show, Women Who Lead 2013, Equity Foundation’s celecontests, giveaways, prizes, all of it. 8pm, Scandals, bration of women who work in the service of equality. They lead through their work, volunteering, and spirit 1125 SW Stark. of giving. The first leadership award goes (deservedly so) to Samantha Swaim. Equity will also be presentTHURSDAY, APRIL 25 Gay and Grey Fourth Thursday Social. Come ing Susie Shepard with a lifetime achievement award on, come all, come socialize. And eat delicious for her inspirational commitment and tireless efforts foods—burgers, specials, and much more. 4pm, to advance equality in Oregon. 11:30am, Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park. Womenwholead2013. Starky’s, 2913 SE Stark. eventbrite.com. FRIDAY, APRIL 26 Lumbertwink returns! Your favorite Northwest MONDAY, MAY 20 fantasy is back for its Spring Chop. Guest deejays Gay Skate, sponsored by yours truly (PQ Monthly). Roy G Biv and Pocket Rock-It will cut up the dance This is every third Monday. All ages goodness! Join floor. (See what we’re doing with those lumber Sock Dreams, the Rose City Rollers, and all the amareferences there?) Three rooms, big patio, lots teur skaters in the city at the one and only queer skate of mutual beard rubbing (optional). Photo booth night. Work muscles you never knew you had—but by the party’s architect, Wayne Bund. 9pm, Fun- don’t fall. 7-9pm, Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park house Lounge, $3 in plaid, $5 sans the good stuff. Way. $6. All ages.
PQ PICKS
THURSDAY, APRIL 18 Orange Crush: A Lady NetRippers Outgames Fundraising Extravaganza. Lady auction/drag show/drink specials/raffles and prizes: the women’s NetRippers soccer team wants to go to Belgium for the World Outgames. This is how you help. Come eat, drink, mingle, catch a show—and win a date with one of the net-ripping ladies themselves. True story, they’re auctioning off one of their own. 9pm, Crush, 1412 SE Morrison.
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Saturday, April 20: Big Dipper Takes Portland. Did you see our feature on Chicago’s rap dynamo in our last issue? (Find it.) This big hairy deal stages his live shows like Britney arena concerts. (Real declaration on his part.) And he raps about sex and bears and summertime realness. Edgy, catchy, hot as hell. YouTube his videos. (You haven’t already?) DJ Hold My Hand spins after the show. 10pm, Eagle Portland, 835 N Lombard. $8.
PERS{ECTOVES NEWS
Want more? We’ll give you everything. Head over to www.pqmonthly.com and check out our online calendar of events, submit your own events, and check out photos from your reporters-about-town. Also, remember to carefully examine our weekly weekend forecast — with the latest and greatest events — each Wednesday, online only.
DANCE IT OUT (CHEERFULLY PAY YOUR COVERS; DEEJAYS GOTTA EAT, TOO.)
FIRST SUNDAYS Bridge Club. A slew of deejays play stellar music on one of the city’s most treasured patios. Old Boys Club regularly welcomes special guests. Brunch, mingle, get down. 3pm, Produce Row Café, 204 SE Oak. Free. Every Sunday. Superstar Divas. Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Ginger Lee, and guest stars perform your favorite pop, Broadway, and country hits. Oldies, too! Dance floor opens after the show. 8pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free! FIRST THURSDAYS Dirt Bag. Keyword: Bruce LaBruiser. She’ll make all your musical dreams come true. Indie, pop, electro, all of it. Dance to the gayest jams. 10pm, The Know, 2026 NE Alberta. Free. Hip Hop Heaven. Bolivia Carmichaels hosts this hip-hopheavy soiree night every Thursday night at CCs. Guest performances at midnight. 9pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free. First Saturdays Sugar Town. DJ Action Slacks. Keywords: Soul, polyester. 9pm, The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42. $5. Maricón! DJs Moisti and Ill Camino redefine the Eagle with their beloved once-monthly dance party. For homos and their homeys. 10pm, Eagle Portland, 835 N Lombard. $3. Second Sundays Silverado’s Beer Bust. (Every Sunday.) Sweet jams, lots of skin (the dancers, not you), and our city’s beloved Stan, making all the jokes via microphone. Listen carefully to his commentary. 4pm, 318 SW 3, Free. Second Thursdays I’ve Got a Hole in My Soul. Three keywords, the most important being: DJ Beyondadoubt. Others: soul, shimmy. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5. Second Fridays BMP/GRND. Portland’s only queer dance night devoted entirely to that tragic(ally wonderful) decade. DJs Kasio Smashio and Rhienna. Wear 90s gear, get in on the cheap. 9pm, The Foggy Notion, 3416 N. Lombard. Free before 10pm, $5 after, $3 w/ themed attire. Second Saturdays Rotate: DJs Moisti and Hold My Hand make a Maricón/ Bridge Club baby. Come hear the blessed noise, and help them celebrate. 9pm, Eagle Portland, 835 N Lombard. $3. Mrs.: The queen of theme. Most recent: Under the Sea. How’s that for perfection? And dynamic DJ duo: Beyondadoubt and Ill Camino. Costumes, photo booths, all the hits. 10pm, Mississippi Studios, 3939 N. Mississippi. $5. Third Thursdays Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-the-day language, music, and elegance. An ease-you-into-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys make the music. Bridge and tunnel
Tuesday, April 30: Our Voices—Race and Ethnicity, Let’s Talk About It. Kathleen Saadat hosts a panel that also includes David Martinez, Cliff Jones, and Rupert Kinnard. This is not a debate about whether or not there is racism (or sexism, or…) within our communities and movements, it’s about telling our stories and sharing a dialogue about race/racism that serves as a catalyst for change, a foundation for building stronger coalitions. There will be a Q&A. You had us at Saadat. 6:30pm, Q Center, 4115 N. Mississippi.
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patrons have no idea what to do with us when we pour in. It’s OK to chuckle at them. 10pm, Vault, 226 NW 12. Free. Third Fridays Ruthless! Eastside deluxe. DJs Ill Camino, Rhienna. Come welcome new resident deejay Rhienna and listen to the fiercest jams all night long. Keyword: cha cha heels. 10pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $3. Third Saturdays Gaycation all you ever wanted. DJs Charming and Snow Tiger. Be early so you can actually get a drink. Sweaty deliciousness, hottest babes. THE party. April = Jenna Riot. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $3. Nuttz 2 Buttz. Maricon’s kid brother. DJs Moisti, Ill Camino. Ass-shaking contest. Hug Moisti! 10pm, Eagle Portland, 835 N Lombard. $3. Fourth Thursdays Cockabilly. Rock and roll disco with homosexual tendencies. The night’s charismatic hostess, Chanticleer, proves Thursdays are back. 9pm, White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE Eighth. $5. Fourth Sundays Gender Abundant Square Dance. All-ages goodness. No experience necessary! 7pm, The Village Ballroom, 700 NE Deckum. All ages! $7. Fourth Fridays Twerk. DJs Slutshine and II Trill. Keywords: old school. Established fun, all night long. So much dancing. 9pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. Free! Double X Dance. Bears, scruff, musk. 9pm, Embers Avenue, 110 NW Broadway. Fourth Saturdays Inferno! DJs Wildfire and D-Zel. Ladies, ladies, ladies. Rotating venue—check online for the latest! Blow Pony. April: RAJA! Two giant floors. Wide variety of music, plenty of room for dancing. Rowdy, crowdy, sweaty betty. 9pm, Rotture/Branx, 315 SE 3. $5. Hey Queen! For all the party girls. The more intimate, shoulder-to-shoulder choice. Bruce LaBruiser and special guests. Always fabulous. 9pm, Beulahland, 118 NE 28. Free. Last Thursdays Laid Out, Portland’s newest gay dance party. Seriously, the posters read: “gay dance party.” Deejays Gossip Cat and Pocket Rock-It, with photos by Eric Sellers. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $3 after 10pm. (No Laid Out in April.) Last Fridays Temple! A West Side Social. Keeping the west side afloat. Downtown dancing goodness at everyone’s favorite dive bar. Resident Kasio Smashio, plus guest. 10pm, The Matador, 1967 W Burnside. Free is a very good price.
Saturday, May 4: Red Dress 2013! Let’s get serious about our lives, people. The epic shitshow par t y ever yone waits all year for. Tear through your friends’ closets, hit up Fat Fancy, rifle through the racks at Ross. Just find your dresses! You’re running out of days. Theme: Caught RedHanded. Guest: Nina Flowers. Yes! 8pm, AudioCinema Building, 226 SE Madison. $50 GA/$150 VIP. reddresspdx.com.
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CALENDAR FILM
QDOC GOES BIG WITH ‘DIVINE’ OPENING NIGHT By Erin Rook
Following the screening will be a Q&A session with director Jeffrey Schwarz and frequent Divine costar Mink Stole. Last year’s festival also kicked off with a celebrity As QDoc grows into a preeminent festival for queer doc- appearance — country singer Chely Wright was on hand umentary film, it is expanding its reach into the LGBTQ for the screening of her film “Wish Me Away.” community and the world of cinema with its biggest openWhile Weissman says it isn’t part of the agenda to ing night ever. always kick off with a celebrity, he does try to bring as many directors to the festival as he can. And this year is no exception. A number of f i l m ma kers w i l l be on h a n d d u r i n g t h e w e e kend, including sex educator Annie Sprinkle and her partner Beth Stephen (“Goodb y e G au le y Mou nt a i n” ), Travis Matthews (“Interior. Leather Bar.”), Deb Tillman ( “Bor n T h is Way ” ), Por tlander Eric Slade and Stephen Silha (“Big Joy”), and Marta Cunningham (“Valentine Road”). “It’s a community experience, it’s a shared experience, it’s a meet the artist experience,” Weissman says. QDoc attracts filmmakers largely because the festival gives documentaries a kind of attention they don’t get elsewhere. “The filmmakers love it,” QDoc opens with “I am Divine,” about the iconic performer who frequently worked with John Waters. Weismann says. “So often docNow in its seventh year, the festival will kick off May 16 umentaries can be relegated to second tiers at mainstream at the more expansive Bagdad Theater — before moving to festivals.” McMenamins Kennedy School — with a film about larger Between the special attention (QDoc is one of only than life performer and queer icon, Divine, aptly titled “I two queer documentary film festivals worldwide) and the Am Divine.” organizers’ industry connections (Weissman is also a film“We think that there’s a big audience for [the film]. We maker whose documentaries have been twice short-listed thought, ‘Let’s go all out go for a big theatre,’” says David for Academy Awards), the festival is able to draw high calWeismann, who co-created QDoc with former San Fran- iber films. Putting on a small festival means they get to cisco International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival operations select the best of the best, without having to pad the prodirector Russ Gage. “It’s always great to start a festival with a gram with fluff. splash, and there’s not a much bigger splash than Divine.” Despite the limited number of films, Weissman says they PQ Monthly
RACE DRAG Continued from page 10
“It’s pretty ridiculous that people claimed to be ‘supporting’ women and people of color by basically taking money out of mine and [Maricón DJ Misti Icenbice’s] pocket,” says Walton, who identifies as gay and Mexican. “Seriously community, let’s actually try to hear each other and stop trying to eat our own.” Tobin Britton, a leather dyke of color and Eagle patron, says she is more bothered by the “dangerous” tone of the debate than the performer who sparked it. She also takes issue with the letter sent out by QRJPDX. “The letter seems to be calling for forced apologies and economic sanctions on a business whose only crime seems to be having booked a controversial performer,” Britton says. “It is time we as beings take responsibility for ourselves and stop expecting the world to shelter us from everything. If something offends you, walk away. Being offended doesn’t affect your civil rights or harm you physically.” Bertha Pearl, a queer white Jewish member of QRJPDX, believes shows like Shirley Q. Liquor’s have an impact on more than just the people who watch them. pqmonthly.com
“I felt that booking SQL was an injustice, and an attack on the [queer people of color] in our community,” Pearl says. “I want [the Eagle] to know that this affects the entire community, not just the people who go to their bar.” Accountability: When is an apology enough? “What is important is that the Eagle cancelled the event…. I don’t understand why there is still drama,” Walton says. “I have been the victim of so much racism in the queer community, and I really don’t know if people just sort of turn a blind eye to it until a situation like the SQL pops up, or what. I still don’t feel like the Q Center or the Eagle owes me a processing session.” Hudson says a sincere apology is all that can be realistically expected. Restitution, on the other hand, is a trickier matter. “Who makes restitution? The abstract entity of the business, the booking agent, Chuck Knipp, the employees, those working at the show, those who decided to buy a ticket, or those who resorted to blatant sexism and racism when engaging with protestors on Facebook, or all of the above?” Hudson asks. “It’s sometimes easier to criticize an abstraction — in this case, a bar — than individuals, but what does that achieve?”
are careful to select ones that represent a diversity of content, styles, and identities. “We try to be very conscious in our selection and speak to a broad range of themes,” Weissman says. He tries to include something that speaks to all the various segments of the LGBTQ community while still maintaining a flow. “It’s like curating an art show; things have to work together as a unit.” The festival also has to strike a balance between attracting a larger audience and keeping the festival intimate. Because QDoc is about more than screening films, it’s about bringing community together. “Part of our intention really was to help foster a sense of the value of community. I think to some degree our community in Portland is fairly assimilated and there isn’t as much of an emphasis on queer politics as there is in a city with a more focused gay community,” Weissman says. “We want to remind people how fantastic it is to have these stimulating queer cultural events and engage around share things in our community.” QDoc runs May 16-19. All screenings take place at McMenamins Kennedy School, except for opening night. Tickets are $10 per film, $8 for students and seniors, and a free for people under 23 (limited number). Festival passes are $75 and admission to the opening night and reception and film is $25. For more information, visit queerdocfest.org.
QDoc Schedule Thursday, May 16 – Opening Night (Bagdad Theater) 8 p.m. “I Am Divine” tells the story of the larger than life drag queen and actor who starred in so many John Waters films. Director Jeffrey Schwarz and actress Mink Stole will be in attendance. divinemovie.com Friday, May 17 7 p.m. “Goodbye Gauley Mountain: An Ecosexual Love Story” documents activism and performance art aimed at stopping mountaintop removal in West Virginia. Directors Annie Sprinkle and Beth Stephens will be in attendance. goodbyegauleymountain.org 9:15 p.m. “Interior. Leather Bar.” Reimagines the qdoc page 35
Where do we go from here? Keller Henry, a queer black woman and member of QRJPDX who identifies as working-poor, says she hopes that this incident will inspire a broader dialogue. “I believe [QRJPDX] is seeking to start a genuine conversation about racism in this community and I hope that it expands the discussion to include how class and privilege also play a big part in why people like SQL find safe harbor in the mainstream gay community,” Henry says. She signed the letter the group sent to the Eagle, but didn’t expect it to have a much impact. “I truly don’t believe the hearts and minds of bigots will be changed through well-meaning and well-written words when there is nothing at stake,” Henry says. “I’m not sure how to bring people out of the shadows of their own bigotry to have real, honest conversations.” Poison Waters hopes that the incident can be used as an opportunity to listen and learn from one another. “If someone honestly, knowingly booked that act and didn’t for one second think anything was ‘wrong’ with it,” she says, “that is an opportunity to address the current state of our community’s views on racial equality from all sides.” Daniel Borgen contributed additional reporting to this story. April-May 2013 • 21
WEDDINGS NIGHTLIFE FILM
RADICAL FAERIE FILM FEST MAKES PORTLAND DEBUT
The Radical Faerie Film Festival is coming to Portland after debuting in Seattle last year. By Erin Rook PQ Monthly
After attending the 2011 Seattle Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, Michael Nugent (aka Sweet Chi), 27, and Sister Bhakti Shakti, 52, started wondering why there weren’t more Radical Faeries represented in film. So they set out to create a festival focused on the Faerie experience. The Radical Faeries spiritual movement is comprised primarily and historically of gay men (though many communities now welcome other identities) and seeks to honor the interconnectedness of sexuality and nature-based spirituality. Despite the common
gay portland Continued from page 13
solicit donations to a memorial fund from other InWorldz users. When Sunbeam began to share the information they found with other users, Burton then blocked both Sunbeam and Lebowski; shortly thereafter, Sunbeam reported, Burton returned to the game and resumed playing. Burton explained to fellow users that his sister “Ramaty” had simply been confused as to which of her brothers had died. On the comment thread for the post, Burton chimed in on Sept. 24 — six months after the original post, and mere months before Burton was to arrive in Portland — claiming that “Ramaty” had stolen his login and password out of spite, faked his death, solicited funds for his memorial, and then been caught in the act. Yet she was allowed to continue managing the online world. When confronted with evidence of this situation, Burton claimed complete ignorance. “I had no idea of this,” he said on the record to PQ. He later added, “I don’t have any involvement with InWorldz,” and eventually stated that after he started his online shows discussing InWorldz, “it became an issue that there were a lot of profiles going up … that were supposedly me that aren’t me.” Furthermore, he asserted, these people were also impersonating his family members. “Genkido Ramaty is my niece, and she’s not old enough to write — she’s 6,” Burton said, adding that he does have a sister named “Chrystyna Vio22 • April-May 2013
values and traditions shared by many Radical Faeries, the group has no official definition or centralized organization. “Faeries have spent years attempting to settle on a description of ‘what are the Radical Faeries’ with no success,” Sweet Chi says. “Each Faerie speaks for him and her self and is considered divine.” The diversity of the Radical Faerie community is part of what inspired Sister Bhakti Shakti and Sweet Chi to curate an 80-minute collection of short films, drawing on their respective backgrounds as a community organizer and a programmer at the largest environmental film festival in the country. “We did not know what we would find when we started, and we were ultimately thrilled with what we found,” Sweet Chi says. “In creating this festival, we hope to share some small essence of the Radical Faerie experience with film-going audiences, and also inspire those who identify as Radical Faeries to use film as a medium to explore and document what we’re about.” The festival debuted last year in Seattle and will make its first showing in Portland April 20 at Q Center. Sweet Chi and Sister Bhakti Shakti say they hope to continue touring the festival along the West Coast to British Columbia and wherever else there is a demand. Even if local Faeries hadn’t expressed interest in seeing the festival in Portland, it would still be a natural fit — many of the films feature or are directed by Portlanders. Films with local ties include “Beauties Without a Cause,” an early short directed by QDoc co-founder David Weissman (director of “We Were Here: Voices from the AIDS Years in San Francisco” and “The Cockettes”); “Sass Manifest,” a performance art piece directed by and starring Wayne Bund; and “Breach of Etiquette,” a drama directed by Mark Levine. All three Portland directors will attend the festival, as will Seattle’s Gnarlene of queer punk rock band Gnarlene and the Frisky Pigs. The festival will include 10 films in all, including “Faerie Tales,” which Sweet Chi says is considered by many to be a definitive documentary about the Radical Faeries. “We hope it will be a vessel for building community, by giving attendees a new lens to view, contemplate, and explore what it means to be a Radical Faerie; and in the larger communities — queer, film, and Portland at large — it provides a forum for people who may not have encountered Radical Faeries to have a taste of the experience,” Sweet Chi says. Tickets are available in advance online at www.BrownPaperTickets.com/event/336761. Submissions for the second Radical Faerie Film Fest can be sent to faeriefilmfest@hotmail.com.
lette,” as well as another sister named “Ashlee Violette.” Ashlee, he said, is also behind the “Stand Out Loud Project,” listed as a sponsor of Gay Portland. “I haven’t talked to them in a while,” he said. “I know, I’m horrible.” However, the Facebook pages of both Burton and Chrystyna Violette indicate that they communicated as recently as January 2013. Furthermore, a Google image search revealed that Chrystyna’s Facebook page uses photographs of adult actress Mikaela Dose, while Ashlee’s page uses generic stock photos. ‘I’M READY TO CLOSE GAY PORTLAND’ “My sisters aren’t fake.… I’ve met them,” Burton said in response to the printed evidence provided by PQ. “I don’t know who Genkido Ramaty is. I’ve met Dao [Ling] and Tasha.… I need to look into it all.” When asked if he was running Gay Portland alone, he became visibly upset and replied: “No, it’s not just me. I’m ready to go and close Gay Portland. This is not what is supposed to be happening, and I’m pissed.” He explained that he would be bringing Gay Portland back to “the original plan” — a self-authored blog that would not solicit advertising or donations. “If there is anything that has been donated to the website, I’ll be sending it back,” he said as he put on his coat to leave the café. Within one hour of his interview with PQ — just one day after Gay Portland’s launch — a notice appeared on the website and Burton’s Facebook: “At this time gay Portland is currently closed until further notice.”
CREATING A NEW WORLD After the announcement was posted, pages began to disappear: first “Emily Larsen’s” Facebook page, then the “Supporters” page, the staff listing, and half of the articles from the site’s launch. Shortly thereafter, the forum posts discussing Burton’s “death” in InWorldz disappeared. The bylines for each article — previously listing the authors as “Ling,” “Ferro,” and “Larsen” — were scrubbed, indicating no authorship. The following day, Burton announced that Gay Portland was back. A new message appeared above the site’s donation button: “REMEMBER it is YOUR CHOICE to donate and your donations are appreciated.” PQ never received responses from the “Violette” sisters or Emily Larsen, after requesting telephone interviews. When contacted to ask for comment, Burton said his sisters were unwilling to verify their existence. In a lengthy email, Burton said that “Ashlee” had confessed to impersonating him on the InWorldz site, and asserted that he never had any involvement with the site (despite his online video commentary discussing it) or “Ashlee’s” actions. “As for Emily,” he wrote, “I don’t think that you will hear from her, which may be my fault.” Burton claims that he fired “Larsen” from the project, and in response she disappeared completely, leaving absolutely no means by which she could be contacted. A few days later, Burton changed the site’s header: “Gay Portland,” it now read, “The Right, Trusted, Respectable, & Positive Source.” However, Burton also removed all of the articles from the site, leaving only blank space in their absence. pqmonthly.com
ARTS & CULTURE
WHAT A RIOT! IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU By Wyatt Riot PQ Monthly
As marginalized people with our various sexualities and/or gender identities (among possible other factors), we’re often taught and shown early on that what we desire/who we are might not be “right.” Regardless of the impact our upbringings had on us, society as a whole has done a pretty good (read: terrible) job of teaching us about what a healthy sexuality is. Sexuality is a subject that maybe isn’t as taboo as it once was, but it can still pack a pretty hefty punch of shame — and confusion. There is a lot of push and pull about what is too slutty, too risky, and even too prudish. Society tries to tell us that there is this area that is “just right,” but that area isn’t very clear. In the end, this way of thinking is bullshit and downright toxic. For a moment I want you to just throw all of that garbage away that you’ve heard and repeat after me: “I’m fantastic, awesome, beautiful, handsome, gorgeous, hilarious, charming, witty, THE BEST.” You deserve everything you want and more. Whatever adjectives make you feel good in describing you — YOU ARE THEM. Remind yourself. (I am pointing my finger at myself as I type this from the couch.) Now imagine if we lived in a world where our sexualities didn’t have to be so filled with shame or the sense they have to be hidden. Imagine if we could just be open and honest with our fantasies, questions, or desires. Doesn’t that sound awesome? Now let’s make that fantasy come to life (at least for right now.) I learned pretty early on that the things I thought were hot were not so-called “normal.” At age 16, my older and more experienced date taught me that “lesson.” Thankfully, we didn’t last long and I found myself moving to a pretty sex positive community in San Francisco, where I found that I was, by far, not the only one who had these fantasies. I got exposed to many different types of sexualities and kinks and I learned to embrace my own sexuality and to try out new things. It was scary to be such a shy and wide-eyed young little queer trying to
learn the ins and outs of it all, but I allowed myself that vulnerability and have since been learning all sorts of amazing things about m y s e l f ; i t ’s a learning process that never ends, which is pretty amazing. These days I have the honor of helping others at work (SheBopTheShop.com) with their questions on sexualities, kinks, toys, and beyond. I’m also a co-host and co-coordinator of Dirty Playground, which is a 18-plus queer (all genders) sex and BDSM play party (Facebook: DirtyPlayground PDX). But let’s forget about me; I’ve got homework for you. I want you to think about all of your sexual desires. Think about the things you tuck away and don’t share with anyone. Shine some light on them. Your eyes can be closed or open, you can explore these desires inside your own head or whisper them to yourself, write them down, post them on the internet, or share them on a stage at Dirty Queer, an amazing x-rated open mic event here in Portland that happens four times a year. (Learn more at dirtyqueer. com.) Do whatever you want with them. They’re Photo by Alyssa Perkins yours. Remember, there is no such thing as a normal sexuality and no one here is judging you. You’re allowed to have all of the fantasies and desires you want to have (or not have!). I can promise you this: regardless of what you’re fantasizing about, you’re not the only one. This doesn’t involve anyone else. This is just about you and your desires. It doesn’t matter if your partner —or partners — dislike your fantasies, or if you’re single and you think that you’ll never find folks who are into “xyz.” None of this is part of the equation right now. This homework is just for you. Sometimes these fantasies can be awesome jack-off material, or fun things to think about during a tough day (or anytime), and maybe sometimes they can even be a little hard to work through. That’s okay, too. The point of it is to look inward, reflect, and learn more about yourself and things that make you tick/hot/whatever word you’d like to use here. This is about you.
Wyatt Riot is a white, queer, trans person living, loving, and working hard in Portland, Ore. He can be found at school, doing some type of sex/kink education, or eating delicious foods. Reach him at fagtastic@gmail.com. pqmonthly.com
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Visit PQ’s blog or Facebook page Wednesdays for your chance to win 24 • April-May 2013
HUMP DAY FREE RIDE!
I take a deep breath and type “How to make a decision” into the search bar on my boss’s computer. It’s not uncommon for me to work from her desk. As the director of the university’s international education programming, she is often traveling and needs someone to take her calls. Her expansive corner office is on the second floor of a low-traffic building. I can go all day without interacting with another human being. It’s the perfect place make an elaborate plan. I pull up charts, equations, and ranking systems. Some people, when faced with a challenging life-altering decision, would simply confide in a friend. But my friends didn’t know what I’d gotten myself into, what I was trying to find a way out of. I’d survived the more than three years of abuse alone; I figured I’d escape it on my own, too. That, and I’m paralyzed by fear. Mostly, the fear of the truth, which is that I need to leave town, cut the cord, end whatever relationship I imagine we still have. I make multiple weighted pro/con lists. The pros win 67-30 (even with things like “losing my ex as a friend forever” getting an undeserved 10), but still I’m not convinced. Though he sleeps with my friends, berates me, and assaults me, it’s hard to let go. I’ve never felt more alone and yet I’m sold on the mythology of our forever friendship. So I move on to the next decision-making strategy, articulating my fears and detailing likely outcomes. I attempt to unpack my fear of losing my abuser’s “friendship.” I did promise we’d remain friends if we ever broke up, I tell myself, and I hate to break a promise. I’d also lost two close friends over the course of the relationship and didn’t feel ready to lose another. (Granted, my ex was the reason the friendships ended, but that was fuzzy up close.) I am afraid of being alone. I don’t see that I already have all the disadvantages of loneliness without the benefits of solitude. The other three fears can be summarized as such: What if my departure causes my ex pain? (Future self says: Tough shit.) Why can’t I just tough it out? (I blame Dr. Phil and his “relationships are hard work” jibber jabber.) And the question that haunts every chronically indecisive person: What if I make the wrong choice? (Spoiler alert: Putting your health and safety first is always the right choice.) I print out the many pages of documentation, hoping this evidence will drive home
the decision I know I need to make. It’s harder to argue with the facts on paper. So I send my parents an email accepting their offer to buy me a plane ticket from Boston to Portland and give me a room for as long as I need it. I don’t tell them why we broke up, and they don’t ask. Once my f light is confirmed — two weeks out — I give notice at work. Make some excuse about wanting to be closer to my family. Then I tell my ex and our friends. They are understandably surprised. I’d been talking about moving out of the studio we shared (for obvious reasons), and had looked at a few house shares on Craigslist. But I’d never intimated that I was considering leaving town, at least not so soon. I knew if I’d told my ex before the flight was booked, I might never leave. Still, he tries his best to make me stay, delaying my arrival to the airport and forcing me to reschedule my flight for later in the day. But even after I am relatively safe in my parents’ home, I don’t tell them or my friends in Boston what happened. When my ex continues to harass me via email, texts, and phone calls — alternately plying me with photos of our cats and threatening me with suicide — I change my number and block his emails. I did everything I could to push him out of my life. I’m grateful to have had that opportunity. Many survivors don’t have the resources to pack up and move to a new city. They must continue to share the small world that is the queer community with their abuser. But with that gratitude comes guilt. Despite my best efforts to carry my burden with a silent stoicism, intimate partner violence does not exist in a vacuum. It is not merely a private struggle, but a public health and community safety issue. I wonder who I’m serving by remaining silent. Some four years later, I am open about my survivor status, but I still haven’t had a real conversation with any of our once-mutual friends about the abuse I experienced. Whether survivors self-isolate or are pushed to the margins by a community that sides with their abuser, our refusal to deal with the abuse in a collective, holistic manner isn’t helping anyone. Yes, it’s complicated, but we need to come up with solutions. Because suffering alone is bad enough; we shouldn’t have to survive that way too.
If you need help dealing with an abusive situation, contact Bradley Angle’s 24-hour crisis line at 503-281-2442 or visit bradlyangl.org from a safe computer. Send your ideas for domestic and sexual violence community outreach to erin@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com
PERSPECTIVES
WHISKEY & SYMPATHY Dear Gula and Sophia, I’m a single guy who, to put it lightly, is poor as hell. Between credit cards, student loans, and being very under-employed, I’m nowhere near solvency with my finances. I think I’m decent-looking, and have plenty of success with hookups and such, but I’m always really anxious about actually entering into relationships because inevitably the issue of money will come up and I’m terrified to admit the reality of my situation, particularly because I seem to attract men who make a lot more than I do and I simply have no desire to have a sugar daddy. How can I deal with my hang-ups around my finances?
Thanks — Broke in Buckman
Mr. Broke,
Sophia
Dear Broke,
Oh, honey! There are many people within the community who are having financial problems. Unfortunately, it’s the way of the world right now. However this fact can only work in your favor considering your situation. You are not alone and because of that anyone you might want to date should be understanding of this. Also, knowing that your situation is in need of a makeover is a big step in the right direction. There are several ways of getting back on track. Taking a financial budgeting class or contacting credit rebuilding organizations are two great ways to resolve less than desirable budgeting issues. I think once you are actively taking the steps to rectify the issues, you will start to feel better about making moves into a solid relationship. It is also important to understand that you are not alone. There are others who are single, married, partnered, and coupled who are facing stress related to their poor credit and finances, just as you are. It can be a blow to the pride to have to step back and make changes, but once you have done so you will feel a million times better. And, as always, communication. I can never ever ever stress the importance of open dialogue enough. Especially in budding relationships. By no means do I think you should expose your finances the first or second date, but I do think it should be expressed fairly soon. Even just a simple “I am on a budget” conversation. Be clear that you are working on managing your wallet and that means maintaining a realistic budget. Dates do not always have to cost a large amount of money in order to be fun, romantic, and exciting. Use your imagination. Be creative. Most of all, be real and be honest.
-Sophia
At least you are not busted. You have your looks … your pretty face! But don’t underestimate the power o f B O DY L A N GUAGE! You poor unfortunate soul, y o u a re i n t h e same boat as a lot of gay dudes. Student loans you are deferring, which says (in this town) you have a degree that qualifies you for a pizza delivery driver or some kinda retail posiGula tion. In your 20s you were schooled in the life lessons of credit cards and living beyond your means to look good in a sale shirt from H&M and have enough on your card for a night out on the town! This is the curse of a gay man — a rite of passage to become the reliable bank manager you are bound to be! Maybe not all of that applies to you but, again, there are a lot of boys out there in the same position and they don’t want to tell you that either. Money is a funny thing; I have been on both sides of this coin. A few years ago I was making some nice ducets and dated a poor boy. I was no daddy, like paying rent or yer phone, but enjoyed being able to pamper someone … someone going through school, working, and still finding time to see me. I didn’t know what to do with all that money and it was nice to see someone happy with a little treat that to me was nothing. Money didn’t end our relationship, but we had a nice understanding that if he made dinner at his house that on an income scale he was serving me steak. Being the poor boy was hard for me and I know how you are feeling. Money comes and goes; it is the person you are dating and not the wallet. But in any relationship each side needs to contribute and needs to put in 100 percent. If you are sitting around all day playing video games and then complain to me about being poor, as you crack another one of my beers open, I might have a problem with you. In your letter you went from “I have no money” to “But I don’t want a sugar daddy!” A daddy is your only option? Here is how you can deal with your hang-ups around your finances: GET A JOB, or another one. If this money thing really bothers you … change it.
-Gula
Need some advice from Sophia and Gula? Send your query — with “Whiskey & Sympathy” in the subject line — to info@pqmonthly.com. Sophia St. James has been an erotic entertainer since 1996. She has traveled performing and educating the public on self confidence, self worth, and the art of sensuality no matter their outer appearance. Working as a sex and sensuality educator, sex toy/product reviewer, adult film director/producer, model, and erotic visual performer, Sophia is a well rounded woman with drive and determination. Sophia is also a mother and healthcare professional who takes pride in being a body positive and sex positive fierce femme.
pqmonthly.com
Gula Delgatto’s life began in a small rural farming town in Romaina. She was scouted singing in a rocky field picking potatoes by a producer of a “Mickey Mouse Club” type ensemble. While touring the Americas the group fell apart due to jealousies and drugs. She later transitioned from Vaudeville to starring on the big screen to woman’s prison, and eventually advised the Dali Lama on fashion n-stuff. Currently she’s taking her life knowledge and giving back in an advice column for PQ.
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Gabriela@PravdaHairSalon.com www.PravdaHairSalon.com April-May 2013 • 25
STAGE
‘HERSTORY/HISTORY’ IS OUR STORY
Bjorn Anderson, Matthew Kerrigan, and Jeffrey Arrington are Donald, Harold, and Michael in “The Boys in the Band.” By Leela Ginelle PQ Monthly
To coincide with Pride, Portland’s Defunkt Theatre will present “Herstory/History,” a coupling of two landmark plays: “The Children’s Hour,” by Lillian Hellman, and “The Boys in the Band,” by Mart Crowley. The plays are notable for being the first successful mainstream theater projects to address, respectively, lesbian and gay life. Matthew Kern, one of Defunkt’s three artistic directors, says the productions are also in keeping with the company’s explorations of gay content and gender politics — such as their staging of a mixed gender version of David Mamet’s “Glengarry Glen Ross,” and last year’s mounting of Chuck Mee’s “Fire Island.” “We don’t necessarily consciously seek out gay content, but as our artistic directors are two women and a gay man, we tend to be drawn to material that explores those issues,” Kern says. “It’s been really gratifying to see increasing numbers of folks from the LGBTQ community attending Defunkt shows over the past couple of years. This project is one that we feel will really speak to a lot of us.” The productions will run through Portland’s Pride Week,
Photo by Andrew Klaus
with extra performances of “Boys in the Band” during that time. To help fund this event, Defunkt has started a fundraising campaign on Indiegogo.com, where donors can help out while receiving prizes ranging from signed posters to karaoke nights with cast members. “The Children’s Hour,” the older of the two plays, revolves around a rumor that two headmistresses at a boarding school are involved in a lesbian affair, upending the women’s careers and lives. The play — Hellman’s first to be staged — debuted on Broadway in 1934, a time when even mentioning homosexuality on stage was a criminal offense in New York. “It was rare enough to have a play by a female playwright succeed in the commercial theater in those days,” Kern says, “and if you add the provocative subject matter, it’s amazing that she was able to make it happen.” Despite its incendiary content, the play was a success, running two years on Broadway. It was banned in several cities — including Boston, Chicago, and London — but went on to be adapted several times on film. “The Boys in the Band” was first staged off-Broadway in 1968. It dramatizes a group of gay men attending a birthday party in Manhattan. While the subject matter might
sound unremarkable today, at the time it was revolutionary. “Here, right out in the open, were a cross-section of out gay men who had formed a kind of family of choice while facing the challenges of being gay in that time,” Kern says. “It was right on the eve of Stonewall.” “The Boys in the Band” also inspired a movie in 1970, directed by William Friedkin. “Herstory/History,” running May 10-June 15, offers a unique opportunity to see these groundbreaking works in person — and reflect on our history. “These are plays that many of us know of,” Kern says, “but are rarely produced these days, and yet without them so much of what has followed would not have been possible…. They are plays that are sometimes dismissed by younger gay people because they are of another era, and we like to think that we’ve moved beyond the challenges that the characters in these plays face. And yes, it is much easier to live as an out person in 2013 than it was in 1934 or 1968. But some of the self loathing and the shame that these characters struggle to overcome is alive and well, whether [or not] it’s always comfortable for us to admit it.” The program also offers audiences the chance to have two distinct theater-going experiences. “The Children’s Hour” will be staged at Defunkt’s home venue, The Backdoor Theater, on SE Hawthorne. “The Boys in the Band,” however, will be mounted at a “site specific” venue, which has yet to be determined. Kern credits director Jon Kretzu with the idea to produce the plays in tandem and at different venues. “Jon’s decision to stage ‘The Boys in the Band’ in an alternate, site-specific location is also going to have an impact on audiences,” Kern says. “You will be a guest at the party, not just an audience sitting in a theater. It’s an experience unlike most of us have ever had before, and a really exciting style of performance to bring to Portland.” While “Herstory/History” offers audiences a rich cultural experience, Kern believes it will be an emotionally enriching one, as well. “I think audiences of all kinds — gay, lesbian, straight, bi, trans, queer, etc. — will see a lot of themselves in these characters,” he says. “The plays offer a wonderful chance to come together as a community and look at and promote a discussion of how far we’ve come, how some things remain unchanged, and what kind of world we want to build for ourselves in the future.” “Herstory/History” runs May 10-June 15 in Portland. For more information about the plays and the fundraising campaign, visit defunktheatre.com.
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26 • April-May 2013
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ARTS & CULTURE
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BOOKS MUSIC
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MUSIC
THE LADY CHRONICLES LADY AT THE LODGE: A WILDERNESS RETROSPECTIVE By Daniel Borgen PQ Monthly
It’s not much of a secret that I’m a city boy; I find solace and comfort in the roar of the streetcar, the chatter of drunken passers-by outside my open window, and awkward interactions with former suitors at the local 24 Hour gymnasium. I prefer my favorite dive bar and jukebox to a trek through nature’s bounty, and I appreciate the ease that comes with having virtually anything I desire just footsteps from my NW apartment. So when an old, dear friend of mine — a river-rafting dynamo named Alyssa — told me she bought a lodge far outside civilization, I initially hesitated. What the hell was this accomplished, talented educator thinking? Taking on a rugged project three hours away from house and home, and her comfortable tenured position? During the Bush years, she and I joked about starting a commune in the middle of nowhere; she’s experienced in commune living — she grew up on one with the Arquettes. (Yes, those Arquettes.) She’s clearly no novice. But Bush is long gone, and I assumed those flights of fancy were, too. After months of prodding, I accepted Alyssa’s invitation to descend upon her beloved Horse Creek Lodge in McKenzie Bridge. In January, a friend and I went on a quick fact-finding jaunt; I had reservations about a weekend-long commitment. Satisfied by my overnight stay, I corralled some of my favorite gays for a longer weekend adventure. The sun shone, the warm air filled our lungs, my allergies flared up in epic fashion, and nine of us took residence in Horse Creek’s crown jewel — the Delta House, a four-room, four-bathroom compound built around fire pits and ponds and all manner of natural phenomena. We saw, we conquered, and I learned some things about wilderness survival: 1) There’s really something to be said for spending days without cell phone service. I haven’t taken any sort of vacation where my phone hasn’t been attached to my hip since, well, ever. Cutting yourself off from social media and all other electronic goings-on offers a foreign — but welcome — sense of peace. I slept soundly, my biggest worries involved what to eat and when and which adult beverage I’d consume next. In a way, it was like my time in L.A. last February — when that whole Shirley Q. Liquor thing blew up and my friends hid my phone from me so I couldn’t stress. But, you know, a more thorough respite. 2) Hippies like to sing around campfires. (There are lots of them in McKenzie.) They really live for this — and their five-fingered shoes. They also love cutting down trees and making lumber while shirtless.
(I fully endorse that pastime.) After long days saving stranded hikers and rafters and tending to accidents, locals will gather around your beautiful campfire and sing copious numbers of folk songs — and sprinkle in top 40 hits. It’ll be a man, his guitar, and two-dozen voices rising in unison. (The only thing missing: a sacrifice.) And it’s OK if most of the gays hide inside the Delta House watching “Moulin Rouge.” (Or “Dreamgirls.” Or “Burlesque.”) 3) Real hiking isn’t easy breezy. (The extent of my experience in that department: Forest Park.) My gays and I hiked to the top (or maybe the middle) of a mountain to see Tomalitch Pool. (Ryan stayed home to watch “The September Issue.”) It was, I must admit, one of the most beautiful bodies of water I’ve ever laid eyes on. And I’ve seen the Willamette River. The water is deep blue, but clear, begging you to jump in. Our group boasted varying skill levels; I was complimented many times for making my cohort feel very butch. Rogue branches attacked my legs from all sides and I nearly fell trying to scale the treacherous tundra (I did fall once), but the reward was worth the trek. Plus, all those miles scaling mountainsides gave me the pass I needed to eat and drink all I wanted when we got back to Delta. 4) Our complaints about our small community pale in comparison to the locals’. During a quick visit the morning of our departure with Alyssa and the wood-chopping, topless wonder, Dylan, conversation veered toward my dating life. (Our group consisted entirely of couples, save for me and our group’s master egg-fluffer.) “Not much to report,” I lamented. “Just a little empty sex sprinkled in here and there for good measure. Our city just feels so small sometimes.” He chuckled, rolled his eyes, and I felt sheepish for complaining about small towns to a man who resides in an unincorporated community of, what, 50? That same morning, Alyssa pulled me aside to ask me how everyone survived the weekend. “They loved it, and Ryan loved that he didn’t have to scale Tomalitch.” She grabbed my hands, looked me in the eyes, and said: “I love you, and I love that no matter how many miles are between us or how many months go by without seeing each other, you’re always just a phone call away.” That’s weighed heavily on my mind of late — the ebbs, the flows, the choices that bring us together or create sometimes-uncomfortable and foreign distance. The people who accept that life is an endless wave of transformation and love you in spite of it all? Keep those close to your heart.
Google “Horse Creek Lodge.” Daniel@PQMonthly.com pqmonthly.com
April-May 2013 • 29
PERSSPECTIVES
365 DAYS OF PLAY Hawks bathhouse celebrates one-year anniversary
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There are so many gay-specific areas such as bars [and] community centers now, but this is specifically a place for men to play and socialize.” While the internet and smart phones have changed the ways that gay men come together, Garduno appreciates that there can be no deceit in the crucible of the bathhouse. “Cruising in public is different from cruising online, because when cruising in public, you can’t hide anything,” he says. “In my opinion and experience, there’s always a bit of skepticism as to whether a person is actually who they say they are or if they look the way they claim to. At a bathhouse, you see the person — you can actually talk to them, and get that physical reaction.” Every dimension of the Hawks experience has been engineered for men’s enjoyHawks manager Derek Garduno ment — Garduno even compares the sprawling complex to a huge treehouse By Nick Mattos — “because after all, what boy doesn’t like PQ Monthly playing in a treehouse?” Even the interior architecture works in service of men, Hawks is gearing up to mark its one- attempting and succeeding at creating year anniversary as one of the city’s lead- an environment suffused with the core ing spaces for men to play. From 7 p.m. to impulses of maleness; amidst the myriad midnight on April 29, the celebrated Port- of private rooms, semi-public sling areas, land bathhouse will offer $1 locker rentals, and saunas, the physical space of Hawks $10 private room rentals, a raffle with pro- captures the paradoxical masculine desires ceeds benefitting Our House, games and to be private in a den of one’s own as well as prizes, along with “live entertainment.” boastful before a crowd, to dominate over What sort of “live others as well as submit entertainment” does a to those who deserve it. bathhouse party entail? As the concept of “Think porn stars, local masculinity shifts and talent, dancers, maybe evolves, Hawks remains even a live sex show,” boldly and unapologetsays Hawks manager ically a men’s space — Derek Garduno, smiland for thousands of ing a bit wickedly. “It’ll men over the last year, definitely be fun.” it has been their space When Garduno talks to come together, and, about his place of work, well, play. As evidenced the term “play” comes by research by Garup frequently — and duno and the rest of the in his view, the type of Hawks team, those men “play” isn’t limited to then tell their friends. sex. “Sometimes a guy “We did a survey just needs to get away over the past couple from his job, get away of months whenfrom the world, and have ever someone would some fun,” he explains. come in, asking how ‘Hawks is a place to socialize, ’ says Derek Garduno of the “A guy needs to play. You they heard about us,” bathhouse complex. can do that here.” he says. “By far, folks While Garduno is emphatic in stating end up referred by word of mouth, with that all male-identified people are welcome the second most common answer being and invited to Hawks, he explains the bath- coverage in print magazines such as PQ house in the historical context of gay men’s Monthly.” space. “At one time, bathhouses were the Take this as a hint, gentlemen — if you meeting-place for gay men to go because find yourself heading off to Hawks’ annithere was no other place.… You basically versary party on April 29, tell them we sent had either a bar or a bathhouse,” he says. you, and play on! “In my opinion, bathhouses are still a place where gay men can and should come and Hawks is located at 234 SE Grand Ave. in meet, because it’s not just a place to play — Portland, and is open 24 hours a day, 7 days it’s a place to socialize. You can play pool, a week. For more information, including you can get something to eat, you can chill dates for theme nights and free STI testing, and relax, or you can meet guys to play. call 503-946-8659 or visit HawksPDX.com. pqmonthly.com
TRAVEL & OUTDOORS ARTS & CULTURE
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April-May 2013 • 31
DYKES&ALLIES ON BIKES
Meetup at Paradise Harley Sunday June 9, 2013 at 11am at Paradise Harley-Davidson Meetup at Pride NW Parade head at NW Park Blocks at W. Burnside
Sunday June 16, 2013 at 10am; park and walk to breakfast.
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Dykes&Allies on Bikes
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RIDE LOUD & PROUD WITH US!
Are you going to Red Dress May 4th? Tag @ProudQueer or hash tag #PQpics on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram to enter your best photo of the night and you will be entered automatically to will fabulous prizes! 32 • April-May 2013
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CORPSE POSE WITH HAPPY ENDING: FOUR THOUGHTS ON BEING A YOGA TEACHER By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly
1) “Hey, what would you say about me going to yoga school and getting certified to teach yoga?” It’s 2011, and beside me in bed, my boyfriend has furrowed his brow. “Why would you do that?” “I mean, I’ve been practicing for 11 years now, and I think I might like being a teacher.” He looks at me dubiously. “I’m worried about you going to yoga school, baby.” I raise one eyebrow, smirk at my boyfriend lying beside me in bed. “Why the hell would you be worried about that?” “I dunno,” he says, running his hand over the back of his neck, squinting thoughtfully. “I guess I’m worried that you’ll come back all weird.” “Aw, handsome!” I laugh, setting my chin onto his bare chest, looking up at him. “Don’t worry. I’ll be the same as I ever was when I get back. Maybe just a bit more flexible.” ( Joke’s on you, boyfriend!, I think. I was weird long before I set foot into yoga school.) 2) “Oh! You’re a yoga teacher?” the swarthy man at the bar asks me flirtatiously. I’m at the Eagle — my boyfriend dumped me the day after I taught my first yoga class (evidently I did get weird), and I’m back on the prowl. “I am,” I reply proudly. “You must be very flexible!” he starts, launching into a litany that will become alarmingly familiar to me over the next few years. “Can you put your legs behind your head? Do you teach naked classes? Can I get a private lesson in your bedroom? Can you put your legs behind MY head?” “Uh…,” I stammer, stunned by his questions. He continues, “Do you have tantric sex? You must have a beautiful body. If I come to your class, I’ll probably get a boner. Do you offer classes with ‘happy ending?’” I grab my drink, down it in one gulp, and walk away. Why didn’t the Yoga Sutras warn us about this? 3) I’m in New Seasons, putting salami into my cart, when I look up and see a familiar face. “Hey sweetie!” I exclaim, genuinely pleased to see an old student of mine. “How have you been?”
She laughs anxiously, grips the handle of her cart. “Good!” she says sharply. “So good! I’ve just been so busy! Work has been intense and I’ve been dating someone new and I started Crossfit and I know I should be coming to class but I moved to another part of town and I’m getting really into ‘Game of Thrones’ and I’ve just been so busy!” She laughs again, too high and fast. “It’s cool, love,” I say, smiling. “Believe me, I know how it goes.” When it comes to evoking guilt in people, yoga teachers are the nuns of a new generation. 4) Outside of the yoga studio, being a yoga teacher is strange — it’s hilarious and socially awkward, not lucrative or prestigious but somehow respectable in a very yuppie way. However, when you’re in the studio, walking into a class of two people or six people or 60 people sitting on their mats, it’s something entirely different — you are something entirely different. You, the you that frets about finding parking spots and pines after boys who don’t like you back and rolls around your bed in manic insomnia fits, is simply gone. You stand before the students absolutely free of your internal narrative, constantly surprised to hear your own teachers’ words emerge in your voice, constantly amazed that these students trusted you to help them figure out how to experience their own, well, energy. The students twist and stretch and breat he, and t hen lay on t heir backs in Corpse Pose; you look at them and, whether this is their first or thousandth class, you are almost overwhelmed by how huge and pure your love for them can be. It’s so big that it chokes you up, leaving you to sputter your last few words to them before you send them back out into the great open space of the world — “Jai Guru Dev,” salutations to the teachers that got you to this place. All over the room, you see eyes start to flutter open. One by one, you look at the students, their faces radiant with a yoga glow. The light in me salutes the light inside each of them, thrilled beyond measure for whatever tiny role I played in helping them know that light. I bow gently to the students for the things that they taught me, for being such kind and challenging teachers, and meaning it with all my heart I tell them: “Namaste.”
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Nick definitely cannot put his legs behind his head. For information on his yoga offerings, check out facebook.com/VanishingPointYoga or email him at nick@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com
April-May 2013 • 33
THE GOOD LIFE
Cultivating Life GIMMICKS AREN’T FOR GARDENERS By LeAnn Locher
dry out if not attended to daily during warm weather. Just say no. Here’s a sad one of money wasters: buy Gardening accou- and release ladybugs. I admit to having trements remind me tried them years back, only to have them of the diet or fitness fly away within a day. There’s no way to industry, touting every- keep them within your garden. Better bet? thing you must buy to Stop using insecticides in your garden. achieve the perfect garden or body. I liken Insecticides make the top of my list for the WingedWeeder gathering dust in my things you don’t need. Once I stopped garage to Suzanne Somers’ ThighMaster. using them, the good bugs grew in number Translated: a big waste of money. Flawless and preyed on the bad bugs. More birds thighs and a weed-free garden both require came to my garden to eat insects, and one thing: hard work. nature balanced itself out. With all of the gadgets and tools out This back-to-the-basics approach goes at your local garden center, what do you for fertilizer as well. I heard from readreally need to pull off the gardening season? ers who lament their days of using soil I asked readers on Facebook the equivalent depleters like Miracle Grow and who now of the deserted island question: if you could swear by their homemade compost tea. only have three items, what At the bones of this lesson would they be? The most remember to feed the WITH ALL OF THE issoiltonaturally, popular answer? A good pair not stress it out of gloves. And I agree. In our chemically. GADGETS AND wet climate, gardening gloves And what about all of are a must, and waterproof TOOLS OUT AT YOUR those new-fangled mycorhi(or mud proof) fingertips are zzal solutions I’m seeing in LOCAL GARDEN much desired. I usually get a the stores? Save your money. CENTER, WHAT DO “Mycorhizzal solutions are new pair or two every year, and on really muddy days, not needed in the YOU REALLY NEED generally may double up with a pair Willamette Valley, where an TO PULL OFF THE array of mycorhizzal fungi of disposable gloves underneath my Atlas gloves. inhabit our soils,” GARDENING SEASON? naturally Other must-have items says Gail Langellotto of the that made the list include a Oregon State University hand trowel, clippers, and a good pair of Extension Service. “In severely degraded loppers for pruning. Interestingly, passed- or compromised soils, they may help new along tools from family members also show trees or shrubs get established, but better up on the list, not only for their sentimen- would be to add organic matter to the soil, tal value connecting us to the work of the over time, in the form of compost. Comland our predecessors did, but also because posting can rehabilitate degraded soils, older tools are made so well and built to last. by adding organic matter, trace nutrients, Tools that can do more than one thing and soil organisms—including mycorhizalso make sense: an electric lawn mower zal fungi.” can cut the grass and break down piles of Finally, I was recently asked “Do I really compost or clippings. Same goes with my need raised beds?” My answer: You don’t weed whacker: it edges the lawn in spring “need” much of anything really, when it and in the fall, chops up fallen leaves to comes to gardening. But the reason for raised cover the vegetable beds for winter. beds is that it helps the soil heat up, and in So what’s at the top of the list for things our cool climate, that’s a good thing. It can gardeners don’t need? Landscape fabric make cultivating or caring for the bed easier, seems to have a special place — meaning and it allows you to better control the qualnot good — in the hearts of many gardeners. ity of the soil you bring in to grow edibles in. Once it’s in, it can be impossible to remove, Gardening can be tough on your back, and it doesn’t biodegrade, and the weeds still raised beds, especially the taller ones with grow—just on top of the layer of mulch benches around their edges, are so kind to above the fabric. older and less mobile gardeners. So do you The gimmicky Topsy Turvy made the list need them? No. Can they help you be more of money wasters, unfortunately designed successful at gardening? Yes they can. to tip over on its stand, and the whole growNext on my gardening to-do list? How to ing upside down thing doesn’t really help turn the WingedWeeder and ThighMaster the plant at all. In fact, the small size of the into gardening supports for my green beans. Topsy Turvy means the plant can too easily Could be their most useful purpose yet! PQ Monthly
LeAnn Locher is an OSU Extension Master Gardener and loves connecting with other home arts badasses at facebook.com/sassygardener. Special thanks to everyone who helped chime in on this article for their favorite, and least favorite, gardening items.
34 • April-May 2013
EAT, DRINK, AND, BE MARY UNWAVERING TRADITION By Brock Daniels PQ Monthly
The warm spring sun beats down on my unshaven face. I close my eyes, lift my chin, and turn toward the blinding light. It has been a few months since I’ve have seen the sun, and its presence doesn’t go unnoticed. I pick up my steaming cup of
scarlet perfection, and gently blow. The velum tentacles disappear momentarily, but return quickly like a magician on stage. I take a deep breath, and sit back in the comfy chair of the tea shop; perfectly content. In a region dominated by coffee, tea still fights to hold its spot amongst the caffeinated conglomerates. And it is doing a great job. Said to originate during the Shang Dynasty as a medicinal drink, with the modern addition of flowers, herbs, and other plants, tea has become a mainstay in our everyday beverage line up. Handcrafted in very small batches, the teas at Steven Smith Teamaker company, located at 1626 NW Thurman St. in Portland, represent the gold standard locally. Treat yourself to a moment for “YOU” at a local tea shop in your neighborhood.
Offering the finest full leaf teas, tonics, and elixirs, Steven Smith utilizes generations of family knowledge to bring us amazing blends of the high-quality teas and botanicals. With an almost unlimited number of combinations, Smith will have something for you. Creamy and uniquely sweet, the Rooibos is a must-have. Grown about 250 kilometers north of Cape Town near the South African town of Clanwilliam, Rooibos has a tea-like flavor w it hout t he a st r i ngenc y or caffeine of black tea. In mid-January to April, when the plants are about threefeet tall, the topmost tender leaves are hand-harvested, machine -cut, and fermented in the sun, fully developing their required uniqueness. It is soft, red, sweet, and, when brewed, elegant! A perfect afternoon or early evening treat. Maintaining all that is true and traditional of tea, tea service, and tea rituals, Paul Rosenberg at Heaven Tea in Portland helps enlighten his customers to “bring us into deeper contact with our essential selves, our world, and the Photo by Steven Smith heavens.” Having studied meditation for 15 years in a yogic monastery, Rosenberg learned early on that tea was part of pursuing inner cultivation. Tea became his vehicle to help others. Private and public tea classes are available by appointment. Call 503-2300953 for times and location. From local teamakers using the finest ingredients in the world, to sharing centuries-old traditions, there is a common thread within all “tea people” — an homage is paid, understood, and carried on for one of the world’s most famous plants. “Tea has a way of connecting us to nature, our friends, our community and to our own lives,” Rosenberg says. “Tea is a gift from nature, given to humans, to help them become part of the deeper harmonies of life.”
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Brock Daniels, a Pacific Northwest native, has studied wine, culinary arts, gastronomy, and loves researching new food. Brock has written a self-published cookbook titled “Our Year in the Kitchen.” Reach him at brock@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com
ARTS BRIEFS THE GOOD LIFE
Occupy Portland presents Occupy Love, the Portland premier of a film by award-winning director Velcrow Ripper, on April 19 at the Clinton Street Theater. The film captures the heart of the movements currently sweeping the planet in response to today’s economic and environmental crises while asking whether these crises can become a love story. Tickets are $5, with film showings at 6:30 p.m. and 9 p.m.; Ripper will answer questions via Skype between showings. For info, go to PortlandGeneralAssembly.org/events. Photographer Loren Nelson debuts his series Under Wraps, a surprising and moving photo series considering the themes of rejuvenation, healing, and transformation through the metaphor of wrapped buildings. The critically-acclaimed series hangs from April 20 through May 17 at Camerawork Gallery in NW Portland; an opening reception will be held April 20 from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. For more information, go to TheCameraworkGallery.org.
Electro-soul crooner James Blake makes the earth move with the sex tremors — and the bass — when he comes to the Wonder Ballroom on April 24 to promote his new album “Overgrown.” If the album is any indication, be sure to bring your smelling salts, because you are going to swoon. Show starts at 8:30 p.m., $25, all ages. Support the contemplative and expressive arts at the Be Space Music Party and Benefit on April 27, featuring performances by Friendship Valley and former PQ cover girl Racquel Russo of Naming Names. “Tiny happy things” will be raffled off, and a silent auction will feature sessions donated by Be Space spaceholders, including PQ’s own Nick Mattos. Party begins at 7 p.m., tickets $10-20; for more information, go Filmmaker Velcrow Ripper considers whether global economic and environmental catastrophe can become a to Be-Space.org.
love story in “Occupy Love,” premiering April 19 at the Clinton Street Theater.
Yee-haw! Come do-si-do at Community Square Dance with Gender-Free Calling on April 28 at the Village Ballroom, featuring live music by The New Five Cents. No experience necessary — all dances are taught before the serious boot scootin’ begins. (But do consider coming a touch early if this is your first square dance.) 7 p.m., $7, all ages.
Disjecta presents the final days of Space Is The Place, an investigation of the history, evolution, and maturation of afrofuturism. A term coined by cultural critics aiming to draw a connective thread through the work of artists and writers such as Parliament-Funkadelic, Sun Ra, Samuel R. Delany, and Octavia Butler, afrofuturism re-examines technology through the lens of “the other.” Featuring a mix of new, recent, and historical work from Guillermo GómezPeña, David Huffman, Wendy Red Star, and Saya Woolfalk, Space Is The Place explore the boundaries between fantasy and identity while drawing attention to how these themes affect our day-to-day social interactions. The exhibition runs Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays from noon to 5 p.m. until April 28 at Disjecta. For more info, visit disjecta.org.
Milagro Theatre presents “Dance for a Dollar,” a thrilling dance-theatre exploration of dignity in the diaspora told through duranguense, folklórico, and cumbia. The show runs Thursdays through Sundays from May 3-25; May 3’s opening night reception features complimentary refreshments by Las Primas. Tickets $15-30; for more information, go to Milagro.org.
Big Dipper. When you read that name, please inwardly pronounce it “BIIIIIIIG DIIIIIPAAAAAAA,” because the bear rapper sure as hell deserves some long vowels. Further upping the meat quotient is DJ Hold My Hand, who goes on at 9 p.m. to get you all stretched out before Big Dipper plunges deep into you at 11. Get your protein shakes at Eagle Portland on April 20; tickets $8, 21+.
May 4 is the 13th annual Red Dress Party: Red Handed — and if you’ve ever seen the magic that some of the party’s attendees rend out of a simple crimson dress, you understand exactly why it deserves mention in our arts briefs. Seriously: if you haven’t bought your ticket yet, drop this newspaper and go get one now. The wild debauchery and critically important philanthropy goes down at AudioCin-
qdoc Continued from page 21
40-minutes of gay S&M footage allegedly cut from the 1980 film “Cruising” in order to avoid an X rating. Directed by James Franco and Travis Matthews (“I Want Your Love” and “In Their Room”). Matthews will be in attendance. interiorleatherbar.com Saturday, May 18 2:30 p.m. “Born This Way” creates a poetic portrait of dayto-day life for gay Camaroonians, exploring both their private lives and their public struggle for equality in a county with more arrests for homosexuality than anywhere in the world. Directed by Deb Tullman and Shaun Kadlec. Tull-
man will be in attendance. bornthiswaydocumentary.com 5 p.m. “Lesbiana: A Parallel Revolution” profiles elder lesbian activists who were active in the women’s and lesbian rights movements in the 1970s and 1980s. Directed by Myriam Fougére. lesbiana-film.com/en 7 p.m. “Big Joy” tells the story of experimental filmmaker, poet, and Radical Faerie James Broughton. Filmmakers Eric Slade and Stephen Silha will be in attendance. bigjoy.org/news 9:30 p.m. “Mr. Angel” explores the life of transgender activist, educator, and porn pioneer Buck Angel. Directed by Dan Hunt. mrangelmovie.com Sunday, May 19 12:30 p.m. “Bayou Maharajah” highlights the life and music of gay New Orleans piano legend James Booker.
ema in SE Portland; VIP reception at 8 p.m., general admission at 9 p.m. Tickets are $50-150; for more information go to RedDressPDX.com. Spend an evening with the comic geniuses behind FoxTV’s animated series about a man, his family, and a burger joint when “Bob’s Burgers — Live!” comes to the Crystal Ballroom on May 10. The all-star crew of Jon Benjamin, Eugene Mirman, Kristen Schaal, Dan Mintz, and John Roberts will all be performing, and by “performing” we mean “making you wet your pants because it’s all so hilarious.” Show starts at 8 p.m., tickets $25 in advance and $27 day of show, all ages welcome. Devotional chantress Snatam Kaur will present an evening of kirtan (sacred-call and-response music), singing, dancing, meditating, breathing, and celebrating on May 17 at First Baptist Church in downtown Portland. Oprah seriously says “I listen to Snatam every day before meditating” — and do you really think that you’re better than Oprah or something? I didn’t think so, punk. Show starts at 7:30 p.m.; tickets $35-50, available at SpiritVoyage.com.
Directed by Lily Keber. bayoumaharajah.com 2:30 p.m. “Wildness” dives into the history of a Latino gay bar in Los Angeles called the Silver Platter, exploring how things change when a multiracial group of young artists start a weekly night there. Directed by event organizers Wu Tsang and DJs NGUZUNGUZU and Total Freedom. wildnessmovie.com 4:30 p.m. “I Am A Woman Now” tells the story of the first generation of trans women to undergo gender transition in Casablanca in the1950s and 1960s. Directed by Monique Busman. catndocs.com 7 p.m. “Valentine Road” is a new film from HBO about the in-school murder of gender-questioning 15-year-old Larry King by his 14-year-old classmate Brandon McInerney. Director Marta Cunningham will be in attendance. valentineroaddocumentary.com
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April-May 2013 • 35
THE GOOD LIFE
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April-May 2013 • 37
THE FUN STUFF
QUEER APERTURE Through his Queer Aperture project, photographer Jeffrey Horvitz has spent years documenting the LGBTQ communities of Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Vancouver, B.C. He’s well aware that a picture paints a whole mess of words, but here he offers a few actual words to better acquaint us with his dynamic subjects. What is your name? Rebecca Strack How long have you lived in Portland? 4 years When did you first notice that gayness existed? When I was 8 or 9 my brother came out to me. [I had] my first girlfriend at 13. What would you consider a guilty pleasure? I no longer experience guilt in my life.
Photo by Jeffrey Horvitz
You are having a dinner party of 6; whom would you invite? Ellen , Whoopi, John Travolta, Pink, Sharon Stone, and Elton John
What would you consider a perfect meal? One that includes my favorite foods, made fresh and served to me all day. What would be a perfect day off? Snuggling, meditating, hiking, reading, watching a movie, making yummy food Favorite book? Too many to choose Favorite movie? Cannot choose just one Favorite word? Yes Least favorite word? No
Favorite swear word? For fuck’s sake What is your profession? Global Shift Leader, Conscious Evolution Teacher, Energy Worker, Life Coach If you could change your profession with a snap of your fingers what would choose? A personal Energy Facilitator and massage therapist to Pink, Halle Berry, and Sharon Stone What person, living or dead, would you like to meet? Buddha, my brother that died a year before I was born, my birth parents, and my 13-year-old self
For more Queer Aperture visit, queeraperture.com
ASTROSCOPES WITH MISS RENEE Miss Renee aka Tarot Chick is an empath, tarot card reader, and spiritual astrologer of 20 years based out of N. Portland’s Kenton neighborhood. She loves love notes so feel free to holla or schedule a tarot/astrology chart session: that_tarot_chick@yahoo.com.
Miss Renee aka Tarot Chick. Email her to make an apointment
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communication — specifically in work/authority figures — is lightning fast and crystal clear. Self Improvement Month is in effect! Use this window of clarity to focus on projects, connections, and longer-term goals that got back-burnered. Separate what goes /what moves forward then F-O-C-U-S 100%. #Ritalin CANCER What and how do you contribute your voice to this world? The Universe asks you to contemplate how you’d like to be remembered and work toward that. Multiple planets dancing through your 11th house of Groups/Aspirations give you ops to align yourself with people that inspire and collaborate. Lunar eclipse April 25 causes creativity LIGHTNING storms!
ARIES Bend over and catch your breath! Hopefully you rode the sweet waves the Universe handed you over the last couple of weeks. New Moon in Aries April 10 may have given “aha!” moments. Mars cruising your 2nd house of finance and lunar eclipse in transformative Scorpio brings a crescendo in finance/shared resources/fair pay. LEO Time to put your best face forward! Delicious TAURUS ops to shine will grace you as Sun/Venus/Mars If a Taurean doesnt know what to do, they’ll just stop. move into your 10th house (Career/Ambition/ Well, the wait’s over! Fiery Mars lends you get-up- Public Face). This is NOT a dress rehearsal. The and-go-get-it while simultaneously Pluto (death/ chances you take this month can push you to the rebirth/transformation) retrograding in fellow earth next tier. Grow! Make sure your home-base is sign Capricorn April 12- Sept. 20 clarifies your root especially solid now. desires, revealing areas of fear to acknowledge/overcome/transform. Sun in Taurus inspires fab make- VIRGO overs. Haute! Oooh! It’s getting deep for Tribe Virgo. I personally believe that the way you THINK creates your expeGEMINI rience of your life. Several planetary transits in your Mental gymnastics is a Gemini gift and this month chart highlight the theme of digging deep and really 38 • April-May 2013
looking at how you think and how see yourself and CAPRICORN your world. Rigid mindsets/belief systems can soften/ Intense! Pluto (death/rebirth/transformation) in your transform. Speak up. sign retrogrades April 12-Sept. 20, asking you to pause and think about identity, how you’re projectLIBRA ing you’re image outward, and urging you to shed Clarity is the word of the month for Tribe Libra. or bring forth. Home/Family life fast-forwards. Lunar Seeing patterns, connecting dots, and deftly intuit- eclipse April 25 in your friends/groups/aspirations ing what goes where and when is how you’ve got it sector highlights what people/goals you’ve hitched right now. Word! Finances (especially connected to your wagon to. Home/Family) either implode if you’ve been ignoring the warning signs, or finally get sorted and click AQUARIUS smoothly into place. Spend wisely. Being a part of your community, paperwork, communication, and learning has been central and a great SCORPIO time to stretch comfort zones by engaging people Tribe Scorpio gets it deep from all sides this month. not typically a part of your world. Family/home life Planets in your 7th house (Partnerships/Relation- is also highlighted with shifts and some planning to ships) highlight a desire to look at whom you’re hold- move. Lunar eclipse April 25 shines light on career ing closest, or not holding at all. Your ruler Pluto ret- ops, ambitions. #Caffeinated rograded April 12, bringing elevated mental truth. Full moon lunar eclipse in Scorpio steps you firmly into PISCES your newest/truest face. Powerful month! Pluto (Death/Rebirth/Transformation) retrogrades in your Friends/Community/ SAGITTARIUS Long-term aspirations sector, asking that you The last few weeks tried inspiring you creatively, pause, reconsider/reconfigure in these areas. romantically, and playfully. Hope you enjoyed the hell Planets shifting into your communication house out of it! Multiple planets shift into your 6th house may bring a steep learning curve — think fast! of Service/Work/Health/Habits where conscious Putting education to use, travel, and sitting fully self-improvement and organization rule. A great in a new personal philosophy get highlighted April time to make work shifts/heart-centered career 25. BAM! goals/volunteer. Prophetic dreams likely around lunar eclipse April 25. pqmonthly.com
SEE AND BE SEEN
THE FUN STUFF
We want to see more of you! Do you have photos you’d like to share in the pages of PQ Monthly? Send your photos along with a photo credit and caption to info@pqmonthly.com, post them on our Facebook page, or tag PQ Monthly in them. Featured: The Portland Rally for the Freedom to Marry; HRC Moving Forward at the Butters Gallery; PQ Monthly’s March Press Party at Starky’s; Sister Spit PDX; the PQ Paradise Harley Garage Party; and opening night of the Queer Students of Color Conference.
Photos by Jules Garza, Melanie Davis, Erin Rook, and Julie Cortez, PQ Monthly
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April-May 2013 • 39
40 • April-May 2013
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