PQ Monthly April/May 2016 Edition

PORTLAND

EVER AFTER INSIDE

•QDoc Returns to Portland •Sparks Fly at Camp Namanu •Embody: The Gift of Service •Bareback Sex - Tantalizing, or Taboo? and much more!

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THIS APRIL 21ST!

& • April 21st, 2016, 5P.M.-7 P.M. : CC Slaughters YOUR HEART IS CALLING YOU http://bethesdalutherancommunities.org/

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( 219 NW Davis St, Portland, OR 97209 )

Next May 19th at: • May 19th, 2016, 5P.M.-7 P.M. : STAG ( 317 NW Broadway, Portland, OR 97209 ) Like us on Facebook for details on the press parties & all things PQ Monthly!

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OLIVIA OLIVIA

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From Stag, to ever after...

PQ Monthly’s first wedding edition came out two years ago on the cusp of voters ensuring and preserving marriage equality for all Oregonians.

Therefore, it is with great honor that we are able to successfully offer our third annual wedding edition. Please see what some in our community have shared since their engagement and/or wedding over the last year. We would not be able to do that without the support of our advertisers. It is paramount that all of our LGBTQ community and allies patronizes and supports our advertisers because they are the financial assistance for preserving humanity!

We wish all of you who became engaged, got married, or happy to be a stag, a happily ever after…

In that vein, we also wanted to share with you a local hallmark in our #ProudQueer community. I sat down recently with Jerrick Hope-Lang one of the owners of Stag PDX recently, dubbed Portland’s premier gay gentlemen’s lounge and bar.

It started with a conversation among friends. Business partners Jerrick HopeLang shared. Originally from Alaska, and Abner Romero, a former dancer from Puerto Rico, saw something missing in Portland’s gay scene and envisioned a better place for dancers to perform and patrons to enjoy fine Oregon spirits and microbrews. Hope-Lang said of the club’s origins: “I love the idea of other gay male clubs, but I didn’t like the atmosphere. I wanted to create a space where I would like to hang out, a real gentleman’s club.

I talked with a couple of dancers from another establishment, and the idea came about very organically.”

The idea actually took shape when the perfect location was found a building in the Pearl built in 1912. He called up Chris Giovarelli from

Christopher David in the Pearl to design the interior. “Everyone we used is part of the community, that felt important to me,” he explains.

Stag PDX is a local, gay (Native American and Latino)-owned business which has been made possible by the work of many in the community, from the designer to metal and leather craftsmen. Featuring era-appropriate decor, exposed brick, and leather furnishings. They wanted to have a very masculine, Pacific Northwest feel — a gentleman’s club-meetshunting lodge-meets-hot boys dancing in thongs.

In addition to supporting local LGBTQ artist, and contractors, over the last year Stag PDX has been providing a supportive, inclusive environment for Portland’s LGBTQ community has been at the foremost in the minds of Stag PDX’s founders. The intimate setting allows for the highest quality in customer service and the cultivation of relationships between Stag PDX and its patrons, and members of the community. We at PQ Monthly have seen many pre-wedding parties happen there! We also hope to see you on April 30 th at Stag PDX’s 1st Anniversary Party to be held at the newly expanded location on 317 NW Broadway, Portland, Oregon 97209. Doors open at 9 pm to the public, $5 cover with guest DJ EUROSTEV E, Stephano Rosso, and Gracie Cartier guest hosting.

We at PQ Monthly with you a beautiful spring season and encourage you to be the shining light of our #ProudQueer community!

Blessing, Melanie C. Davis Publisher – Owner Brilliant Media llc.

National Advertising Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 sales@rivendellmedia.com

A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:

photographers Dax McMillan Photographer

QDoc Returns to Portland................................................................Page 4

Nestor Miranda Photographer

Embody: The Gift of Service........................................................... Page 8

Columnists &contributors

Sossity Chiricuzio, Samantha L. Taylor, Michael James Schneider, Leo Bancroft, Summer Seasons, Marco Davis, Kathryn Martini, Sally Mulligan, Katey Pants, Queer Intersections

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MONTHLY

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Gay Skate with PQ at:

A New Day............................................................................................Page 16

Oaks Park Roller Skating Rink

Awakening Part 2............................................................................. Page 18

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*THE THEME FOR MAY IS: THE 80’S! *THE THEME FOR JUNE IS: SUPERHEROES!

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Bareback Sex - Tantalizing, or Taboo?........................................... Page 11

*ADMISSION $6.00

Finding Leo: The Binder Adventure................................................. Page 19 Turn a Look: Taurus........................................................................... Page 21 On A Personal Note.......................................................................... Page 22 GLAPN: Nominations for Queer Heroes NW 2016.......................... Page 26

AND MUCH MORE! APRIL/MAY 2016 • 3

FEATURE

QDOC RETURNS TO PORTLAND Oriented

By Olivia Olivia, PQ Monthly

QDoc – Portland’s Queer Documentary Film Festival – is gearing up to return to the Hollywood Theatre in a matter of weeks. The festival is the only one of its kind in the country devoted exclusively to LGBTQ documentaries, and this year it has announced eleven programs as part of its 10th-anniversary lineup.

“Our community benefits greatly from culture and film,” says Celia Lyon, a QDoc sponsor since 2007 through Meadows Group, Inc. Realtors. “I believe it’s lifesaving and awakening, especially for young GLBTQ people, to see our [shared] history/herstory.”

The four-day festival, set to take place this year on Friday, May 19 and Monday, May 22, has a spectacular and diverse array of films lined up, including a few PQ Monthly had the pleasure of accessing early to share with our readers. The films range in experiences and cultures, from the Palestin-

Clambake ian documentary Oriented to Provincetown’s lesbian history-in-the-making Clambake, to a feature on Black lesbian communities and changing gender roles The Same Difference. All the programs are expected to cater to an array of audiences, and there is something for almost everyone – especially youth under 23, who are welcomed to attend the films free of charge (although tickets are limited and reservations are encouraged!).

ORIENTED I will say one of the most provocative and thoughtful documentaries to look out for will be Oriented, a feature length film by Jake Witzenfeld that follows the lives of three gay Palestinian friends confronting their sexual and national identities in Tel Aviv. One of the opening shots shows Khader, one of the protagonists and an out-Palestinian dating a young Jewish man, speaking to an audience of conflicted listen-

The Same Difference ers. One older gentleman jumps up to ask him why he is so eager to call himself Palestinian if he now has an Israeli ID and lives in Tel Aviv with a Jewish boyfriend. “Do you want us just all to leave?” asks the man, in a mixture of fear and anger at the young gay Palestinian speaking calmly to the crowd.

“I simply define my identity according to my family. My grandfather was born in Jaffa as a Palestinian,” Khader says.

“And regarding whether I want you in or out of the country, it’s a completely irrelevant discussion. Like it or not we are stuck here together.”

The statement sets the tone for the rest of the film, which follows the lives of people who are torn between cultures and families. “The West doesn’t have a monopoly on liberal acceptance or tolerance,” one of the men, Fadi, later confides to the camera. “I would like to see more criticism of religious society instead of religion itself.”

The friends come together to form a group called “QamQDOC | Story continues on page 5

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FEATURE

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buta,” a nonviolent, cultural resistance movement that advocates for gender and national equality. They Continued from page 4 put together a music video, show themselves and their friends dancing to a popular Arabic song, and dream of a time in which they can change the perception of LGBTQ communities in places like Palestine and the Muslim world.

“Oriented” plays Friday, May 20 at 9 p.m. at the Hollywood Theatre.

CLAMBAKE On the other side of the world, a group of aging lesbians and queer women share memories and hopes for a unique festival that they helped create in Provincetown, Massachusetts. Over 30 years ago, several women innkeepers in the Cape Cod town tried to address a problem that faces many seaside summer-boom destinations: what to do when the season ends? In an era without email and social media, the women got the idea to write all their past guests and invite them to come back in October – offseason – for a clambake and local entertainment. They called the event “Women’s Weekend,” but it sounds like the film took its name from the meal that drew the crowds together, Clambake.

The feature sheds light on the history of women entrepreneurs and even opens with historical facts and footage on what it was like to be a woman who wanted to open her own bank account or own property at the turn of the last century. Juxtaposed with the women later in life, it’s great to see the ladies laugh at the thought of how simple it was to buy their property. One older lesbian couple briefly explains they came to town with a thousand dollars and saw a home they wanted and left a note with a magic marker with the realtor before scoring what would become their future inn. It seems unbelievable today – when millennials don’t dream of open a home, especially in the Portland area – but there was a time when these women could follow those kinds of goals.

Their legacy continues to bring together scores of female comedians and brings a thriving fall economy to Provincetown every October for what is now a booming Women’s Week annual event. The event has proven so successful that it has inspired dozens of similar gatherings across the country since its inception, and the innkeepers say their entrepreneurial spirit shows that women can and often do have the ability to gather and create their own business ideas without the aid or direction of men.

“Clambake” plays Friday, May 20 at 6:30 p.m. at the Hollywood Theater.

THE SAME DIFFERENCE Shifting yet again from the glistening waters of Cape Cod to the world of Black lesbian-hood and how gender roles function for a community of women affected uniquely by misogynoir, The Same Difference begins with a quote

by Audre Lorde: “It is not our differences that divide us,” it reads. “It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.”

Director Nneka Onuorah brings intimacy to all her shots, going over the fine details of femmes and butches, strong women, and scared women, light skinned and dark skinned, and everyone in between. The lives of Black lesbians walking the line between categories in a world acceptance can be demanding of their labels and identities, are depicted through a number of person interviews that talk about everything from personalities to fashion choices to hair styles.

Profiled lesbians include Dee Pimpin of Catfish notoriety (she made waves on the documentary-style reality television show when she strung along a straight young woman by pretending to be Lil’ Bow Wow on the internet), Snoop Pearson of The Wire, Lea Felaria of Orange is the New Black, and AzMarie Livingston of Empire.

Rappers Nor and Lady Luck stand next to each other facing the camera in oversized puffer jackets, earrings,

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QDOC | Story continues on page 7

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VOICES

6 • APRIL/MAY 2016

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makeup, and short hair cuts, explainContinued from page 5 ing that things aren’t always as simple as they may appear, explaining to the audience what the term “Stud on Stud” means before laughing and holding each other.

The camera fades to a young “Stud on Stud” couple, Nykyia, and Mickey from Atlanta Georgia. “In the community a lot of people don’t think two aggressive girls should be together like we’re two gay guys,” they explain. But for them, it’s what works – being able to shop and share clothes together, to express themselves comfortably and dress the way they please, is freeing.

“The Same Difference” plays Saturday, May 21 at 1 p.m. at the Hollywood Theater.

LAST MEN STANDING In a touching and mournful documentary on the AIDS crisis produced by the San Francisco Chronicle, a group of men in the Bay Area who were diagnosed with HIV in the early days of the epidemic share their stories of survival and loss.

“In ‘84, I was told I was HIV positive. For the next 10 to 15 years, no one said anything other than I probably would die in the next two years,” narrates Harry Breaux, 70 and still battling with AIDS, and survivors and himself. The camera pans over images of streetlamps in the San Francisco night, traffic lights changing colors as cars stop and go. “One day it started happening, and thousands of people were gone. Slowly they just dwindled away and dried up. Disappear from the street.”

As the aging man ties his red shoes and gets ready for pride, his voice is strained with sorrow and longing. “It’s kind of like walking around ghosts. I can look out there and see four or five friends right now. It was like a huge powerful river. You want to get out of it by you can’t,” he says, before walking into a pool of blinding light and into a crowd.

The group of eight long-term AIDS survivors and the many challenges, guilt, and memories that haunt them as they live out their later years with a disease they were told would kill them, and everyone they loved is gripping, to say the least. It’s paced storytelling reflects its journalistic background, and Erin Brethauer and Tim Hussin, the film’s creators, blend atmosphere, silence, light and darkness for a haunting and elegiac spectacle you will not want to miss.

“Last Men Standing” plays Sunday, May 22 at 4:45 p.m. at the Hollywood Theater.

SOUTHWEST OF SALEM Of this year’s documentaries hitting up QDoc, one of the most suspenseful is sure to be Southwest of Salem. Fans of legal history and court dramas will get their fill in this investigative piece focusing on four Latina lesbians who explain they were wrongfully convicted of gang-raping two little girls during what some describe as the “Satanic Panic” witch hunt era of the 80s and 90s. Filmmaker Deborah S. Esquenazi carepqmonthly.com

fully captures recantation of testimony by one of the original outcry victims, now 25 years old and only 7 at the time of the initial investigation. Esquenazi investigates alongside attorneys from a nonprofit organization, The Innocence Project, who together search for justice for a group of women who have languished in a Texas prison waiting for advancements in science and public opinion to exonerate them.

Interspersed with home video footage from their pasts, present-day interviews, and first-person accounts of coming out, growing up, and finding love. The women and their families describe how Elizabeth Ramirez, Cassandra Rivera, Kristie Mayhugh, and Anna Vasquez grew up and fell into the hands of the criminal justice system, facing discrimination and harsh penalties, leaving them nearly a decade in prison.

Spearheading new legislation, this is the first case in U.S. history that allows Last Men Standing wrongfully convicted prisoners to challenge their records based on debunked forensics. As lesbian Latinas, who come from poverty, the women at the heart of the documentary represent a widespread and growing injustice: Latina women make up one of the fastest growing prisoner populations, and most social justice work focused on exonerating those who have been wrongfully convicted focus mostly on men. Unique and intersecting identities leave women of color, especial lesbians women of color, in a no-man’s land of waiting for help that seems to never arrive, especially in a world that equates homosexuality with sinfulness and perversion.

This full-length documentary culminates with the women being released from prison to await their new exoneration hearings in San Antonio. The film explores a dark and rarely discussed moment in recent American history when hundreds of innocent people were indicted for alleged “Satanic ritual sex abuse” near the end of the 20th century. Journalist Debbie Nathan, who covers the conspiracy theories of the era in her book Satanic Silence, speaks earnestly in the film to the camera.

I can say, this case represents the last gasp of the Satanic-ritual-abuse panic,” she says.

The film tackles the persistent notion that there’s some inherent criminality to people of color and LGBTQ people and that they have some predisposition to sexually abusing children, an idea which influenced a significant number of similar Satanic ritual abuse cases of the era.

“Southwest of Salem” plays Sunday, May 22 at 7 p.m. at the Hollywood Theater.

For more information about this year’s QDoc Festival, including pricing and Southwest of Salem detailed schedules, visit queerdocfest.org. Free seats are available to youth 23 and under. There is a supply online that can be selected, or to reserve your seat you can also contact qdocyouth@gmail.com.

APRIL/MAY 2016 • 7

VOICES

EMBODY

The Gift Of Service

by Sossity Chiricuzio, PQ Monthly

I am rarely able to afford eating out, yet I tip 20% or better. I stack my plates when I’m done, make sure not to leave a trail of syrup or ketchup, and don’t wad my napkin into my juice glass. I make eye contact with the server, thank them, and possibly even introduce myself.

As many food service workers reading this have already guessed, it’s because I’ve done that job. I’ve been the interchangeable body that gives and takes and smiles, even in the face of rude or oblivious clients. Who is living on minimum wage and whatever tip those clients feel inclined to leave? Who goes to bed sore and wakes up sore and just keeps going.

There are so many kinds of service workers. The ones offering up courtesy in the face of anger, frustration, pain, sorrow, or indifference. The ones who are paid little to take a lot from those who seem to have it all. The ones who use up their body for the sake of others.

Do you know the name of your barista?

The gas station attendant at your regular stop, or the receptionist at your doctor’s office? The janitor at your work, or the gardener on your campus? Can you remember what they look like? Have you ever noticed if they seemed to be having a hard day, or a particularly joyful one?

Don’t mistake this for encouragement to be creepy and intrusive with that person you think is cute that can’t get away from you when you drop by their place of business. Don’t assume they want to share personal info with you, or that your opinion has any bearing on their reality. Just note, for at least a moment, their humanity.

The labor they are doing is so often dismissed and belittled as ‘dead-end jobs’ and ‘settling,’ but can you imagine your world without it?

These are the people who literally carry you across the city; who nourish your body, caretake your children and companions; who make it possible for you to live in (relative) health and joy and comfort. They are the background noise, the behind the scenes, the ‘little people’ that are sometimes thanked at big awards dinners, but mostly as proof of the largesse or politics of the award recipient.

What if we truly said thank you? What if we acknowledged the sacred of a day spent in service? The fortitude and forgiveness it requires, and the respect it so rarely receives?

So many people are ready to take offense at the slightest break in what they consider proper service; to complain to a manager or employer, putting someone’s job at risk for the sake of ice or no ice, or failing to smile wide enough. Why is there so much assumption that stroking your ego is part

of their job? Why is it so much more rare to give positive feedback to a service worker, or their employer? Why is it so easy to punch down, and so rare to lift up?

I definitely feel words like ‘classism’ and ‘racism’ and ‘gendered labor’ are part of the problem and need to be part of the conversation. However, beyond asking people to be aware of tipping, of intersecting oppressions and quality of life, what if we also added in words like ‘gratitude’ and ‘courtesy’ and ‘compassion’?

I’m issuing a challenge: the next time another person in the world spends their time and body to benefit yours, take a moment.

Check yourself. Did you greet them? Smile for them? Expend your energy in courtesy regardless of whether it would even be acknowledged? Did you note their response and prepare yourself for their displeasure if your approach was not as they prefer? Does this feel like an enormous amount of energy being expended just in case they feel inclined to challenge your approach, or demeanor, or appearance, or existence?

If you can’t imagine spending a day at work like this, think I’m dramatic, that there’s no way every interaction could be that fraught with possible complications and consequences and stress, then I think you haven’t done service work.

This isn’t just about being a more selfaware human, but also lifting up people who are the most often left behind, and left out. Undocumented workers, people of color, queer and trans folks, people who are disabled--by circumstances of life or the very job they do for you--and people who don’t have other options, or can’t afford the education that is supposed to get you farther. Though in these days of crumbling capitalist infrastructure, there’s likely more than a few Ph.d.’s reading this who are trying to pay off student loans with a combination of food service and Lyft shifts.

Here’s the other thing: we all need service. We need more touch, help, compassion, health, sustenance, knowledge, joy. If you have well-paid skills: find a population who needs them urgently, and give what you can, sustainably. Try barter, or sliding scale, or pro bono. If you have the time and means to donate, pick something humble.

Think less about gold stars, and more about the golden rule. Leave your ego out of it. Lay aside concepts of hero. Make room for grace.

The gift of service--whether it’s breakfast or sex work served to order, transportation or agriculture to get you through your day, calm competence in the face of your frustration or pain, clean surfaces, groomed bodies, or systems navigated--should be recognized as the treasure that it is. Learn how to say thank you, and mean it, or learn how to do it for yourself.

End note: If you have questions or topics you’d like me to cover, products you’d like me to review, people you’d like to hear from, or resources to share, please get in touch! sossity@pqmonthly.com 8 • APRIL/MAY 2016

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FEATURE VOICES

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NEWS GLAPN FEATURE

APRIL/MAY 2016 • 9

NEWS COMMENTARY GUEST

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OPINION

BAREBACK SEX - TANTALIZING, OR TABOO?

by Monty Herron

It’s time to have a conversation about..... bareback sex.

GASP! Whaaaat? Yeah, we need to start talking about our sexual health. With the advent of PrEP, (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) TasP, (Treatment as Prevention) and PeP (Post-Exposure Prophylaxis), we have a lot of confirmed strategies now to prevent the transmission of HIV. This affects us ALL, not just cis-gendered, white, gay men. So no matter where you are in the alphabet, LGBTQQIIAAP- no matter what your ethnicity, (because people of color are disproportionately affected) this information and education affects YOU! This month, I came across an article written by Jeremiah Johnson, that so succinctly stated some of my own feelings as an openly healthy, undetectable, HIV + man; that it deserved to be part of the conversation we are having in Portlandia.

While all of these new strategies are amazing and hold much

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promise, it is my personal belief, that the top 3, in order, are: Reduction of Stigma surrounding the virus, TasP, and PreP. And while other STI’s do exist. Those people who choose to engage in either monogamous or closed relationships, ethical behavior surrounding sex, and people who are in open relationships but have open and honest conversations about sexual health; will all be able to minimize their exposure in addition to the minimal risk of exposure to HIV. One HIV -Activist, upon hearing about the first, and the only known case, currently of someone seroconverting while on PreP, sought to rise above the clamor, steady our nerves, and offer his insight. So without further ado, Jeremiah’s article, that originally appeared in HIV Plus Mag, and is printed here with permission: “It’s not irresponsible to like bareback sex”

By Jeremiah Johnson, Plus magazine (HIVPlusMag.com) A thought for my fellow gay men: It is 100 percent OK that so many of us want to have bareback sex.

Even when the risk of complications due to sex is not zero (and when can we really ever guarantee that the risks related to any activity are zero), it is completely, 100 percent OK that we have the desire to bareback. The decision to have bareback sex has never meant that we are stupid, irresponsible, or immoral — it did not mean that in the pre-PrEP [pre-exposure prophylaxis], pre-TasP [treatment as prevention] (undetectable) era, and it certainly does not mean that now. It means that we are human and that it is tremendously challenging (and sometimes impossible) to change our sexual desires and practices.

It is a bummer that the first case of PrEP failure has been found in someone who was being adherent to Truvada — and very sad for that individual that they have acquired HIV. For some HIV-negative gay men, this single case will

be enough to dust off the condoms and try to adhere to them again — and that is totally fine. Condoms are easier for some of us, and/or some of us have a very low tolerance for risk when it comes to our sex lives. The decision to use condoms is 100% OK. For other HIV-negative gay men, this will still seem like a very remote risk, and they will continue to rely on PrEP as their sole HIV prevention method — and that is also 100% OK. We are not designed to all be the same — we all have different perceptions and different backgrounds. For some of us it is easy to use condoms, and for some of us it is nearly impossible. It’s all OK, and I hope that we can accept our variations and our diverse approaches to having sex.

What is disheartening within the current HIV prevention movement is seeing just how much we still feel the need to police each others’ bodies and our sex lives. We have PrEP-nazis and condom-nazis — people both inside and outside of our communities who go well beyond offering information and advice and instead move into coercion and manipulation in an effort to get gay men to have the kind of sex that we deem appropriate for them. We frequently do not honor individual choice and empowerment, and it sets the stage for the often bitter, shaming, and defensive debates that we continue to have around PrEP, TasP, and condoms.

As we individually and communally weigh all of the information that we have received over the past five years about TasP and PrEP, I hope that we can accept, respect, and honor each others’ sexual decisions as we individually interpret what we’ve learned and conduct our own cost/ benefit analyses of condomless sex.

Even more importantly, I hope that we can each learn BAREBACK page 16

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his wedding edition, we at PQ Monthly wanted to do something a little different. This year we wanted to celebrate you, your engagements, weddings, and

our victory as it relates to marriage in the eyes of the law in the United States. Although this is the start line in joining the greater humanitarian movement, it is certainly a major win for the Queer community. It validates our relationships both legally and personally. We at PQ Monthly wish each of you all the blessings of the universe. Congratulation!

Ben Parisot & Peter Parisot were married on October 4, 2015, at the lovely Postlewait’s Farm in Canby, OR “We have been married a little over six months now and it still surprises me how much being married has changed how I feel about our relationship. There is a sense of real permanence and support that I didn’t feel when we were dating, or even living together. Being married fundamentally changed how we interact and respond to one another — even how we argue. I don’t doubt that he is going to be there the next day and day after that. Feeling that kind of certainty is like having a huge invisible weight lifted off my shoulders—one that I didn’t even know was there.” - Peter Parisot “I didn’t think getting married would change much in our relationship, but it did. Standing together in front of a crowd of your friends and family and promising to love each other forever is transformative. It gives the ordinary concerns of everyday life an absolute weight of importance and deflates situations that would have once seemed like the end of the world. It’s made our relationship stronger, and it’s made me stronger.” - Ben Parisot

Adrian Flores & Anthony Wynn Ben Parisot & Peter Parisot

Married in Yachats, Oregon on April 1, 2016. Growing up in a world where one could scarcely imagine that same-sex couples would ever be allowed to marry, we both feel so blessed that our love for each can now be formalized through marriage. Our heartfelt thanks go out to Edie Windsor, for challenging the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and paving the way for full civil rights for all.

Adrian Flores & Anthony Wynn

Jen Keisler Fornes & Heather Keisler

Jen Keisler Fornes & Heather Keisler Fornes.

Married on November 15, 2015. “The ability to marry hasn’t changed us or our relationship, I am still head over heels in love with her. Legally recognized marriage did change the landscape for us. We would have never considered a civil union, we didn’t want our legal commitment to each other and our rights to change when we crossed state lines.

We wanted to be able to throw an amazing party, invite those we love and hold most dear, share our commitment to ourselves and each other with them publicly and at the end of the day know that we would have the same rights as any other married couple.

Legal marriage paved the way for our rights and we had a beautiful wedding day.” - Jen Keisler Fornes

12 • APRIL/MAY 2016

Juan Martinez and Byron Beck

Juan Martinez and Byron Beck Engagement Date: May 14, 2014 (the day of the ruling that allowed same sex marriage in Oregon Byron asked Juan to marry him in front of a television camera) Marriage Date: May 30, 2015 (20 years to the day since Juan and Byron went on their first date) Byron: It was the best day of our lives. And I don’t feel we will ever have a day like that ever again. It goes way beyond policies and politics, but getting the ability to have our dream wedding in front of our families and friends was something we will both never forget.

Photo by Jason Lucey

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FEATURES FEATURE Sara Stafford & Jess Adams: I proposed to Jess over 2 years ago when it wasn’t yet legal, she wanted to wait until it was legal in her home state of Oregon to get married. She proposed to me this past September. I always dreamed it would be some kind of fabulous flash mob proposal with unicorns and glitter in toe...

(I am definitely that kind of girl), but that’s not who Jess is. She’s a t-shirt and Jeans and Vans and Star Wars kind of girl, not so flashy.

But what I love about Jess is she knows who she is, and she knows who we are together. That’s why she proposed to me at THE DOG PARK. Is there such a thing as an endearing laugh sigh because my Sara Stafford & Jess Adams heart is full and yes it was actually perfect. We were there with our fur-babies Cash and Blue Belle on the Sandy River Delta, and she asked me to marry her. She said I wanted to do it here. Here with our crazy dogs and hair and dirt everywhere because our lives are messy and beautiful, and I don’t want it any other way with anyone else. This feels like home. You are my home.

Sara and Jess are tying the knot legally this coming June on Pride Weekend at her Mom’s house.

James & Bobby Waldner: Married 5/2/15 at the West End Ballroom in Portland. Marriage has been a dream come true for us, literally.

It comes with its own set of challenges, but we feel truly blessed to have each other. Next stop- CHILDREN!!!!

James & Bobby Waldner:

John Halseth & Robin Castro

John Halseth & Robin Castro - Married: December 31, 2015, on our 20th anniversary!

For over 10 years, we worked together with so many folks to make our dreams of marriage come true. After seeing so many happy couples get married in 2004 and then have it taken away, was heartbreaking. That made us all work even harder to gain equality. For John and I, this meant our relationship was truly equal in the eyes of the law, and our friends and family. We still have work to do, but this giant win makes our communities unstoppable!

Collin McFadyen & Jeana Frazzini

Collin McFadyen & Jeana Frazzini - Wedding date September 17, 2016 Marrying Jeana will feel like the moment my life comes full circle, like in Monopoly. We’ll Pass GO, collect our $200 and then start building a new life together, with the intention of it being “our” life, not just two lives that run parallel to each other. Our hearts will be all in, no matter how the dice roll. I can’t wait to say “We do!”

pqmonthly.com

Grant Cates & Zach Reed

Grant Cates & Zach Reed - Engaged September 7, 2015 I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with this man. I’m excited for the family we are going to start together. I’m excited that the story our kids tell of how their parents met and got married will be much the same as their classmates. I’ve never aspired to normalcy, but it really feels so right in this case.

APRIL/MAY 2016 • 13

FEATURE GET OUT WEDDINGS

VOICES STYLE DECONSTRUCTED

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THURSDAY, APRIL 21

PQ Monthly’s April Press Party. CC Slaughter’s.

NE cocktail bar with a serious whiskey fetish! Food is available from their Zipper neighbors Chickpeadx, Rua and Slice Pizza Co. Remember bring a friend and make a new one. 6 p.m. at Paydirt, 2724 NE Pacific St.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 22

GET

OUT! Want more? We’ll give you everything. Head over to pqmonthly.com and check out our online calendar of events, submit your own events, and send photos for your event. Also, remember to carefully examine our weekly weekend forecast — with the latest and greatest events — each Wednesday (sometimes Thursday), online only.

--MATT PIZZUTI, CALENDAR EDITOR PQ MONTHLY

Kai-Kai celebrates John Waters. Portland’s dance-heavy/drag party Club Kai-Kai is celebrating John Waters 70th birthday! To celebrate the King of Filth’s B-day, there will be a performance and $200 ‘Most Devine’ costume contest by RPDR Season 3 winner Raja Gemini, Female Troubles and Pink Flamingos inspired drag performances by Gula Delgatto and Marla Darling, and FILTH, lots and lots of filth!!! Get there early, turn a LQQK, and work it for the dance floor at Saucebox. 214 SW Broadway.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27

Last Wendsgays: April LGBTQ Happy Hour. Mark your calendars: The third edition of Last Wednesgays will be held at Paydirt, the inner

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EVERY SUNDAY

Drag Brunch: Testify at Stag with Alexis Campbell Starr. From 11 a.m. until 3 p.m. every Sunday, Starr brings you the city’s hottest drag performers, drink specials (5 for $5 mimosas, $5 American Harvest Bloody Marys), and tasty brunch.

Be there promptly at 11, children— it’s a sell-out crowd. Stag, 317 NW Broadway.

Superstar Divas. Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Topaz Crawford, Isaiah Tillman, and guest stars perform your favorite pop, Broadway, R&B, rock, and country hits. Dance floor opens after the show. Check out the newest and freshest Diva hits, plus a variety of diverse talent. 8 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free!

DANCE

IT OUT

EVERY MONDAY

Ru Paul’s Drag Race, Season 8 Viewing Party. Every Monday until the end of the season! The 2016 season of Drag Race is finally here, and you can watch it with your fellow fans and friends on the big screen downtown at Scandals. This year there will be fun new contests to replace the fantasy league but keep the crowd involved.

As usual, the event will have Absolut raffle and drink specials. Free.

7 p.m. at Scandals, 1125 SW Stark St. Family Home Evening. A weekly, post-work lounge party every Monday night at Vault, featuring DJ Orographic (Bridge Club, Queerlandia) and occasional special guests (Sappho fills in now and then). Jens Irish serves you happy hour all the live long night. 7 p.m.-11 p.m., Vault, 226 NW 12.

14 • APRIL/MAY 2016

FRIDAY, APRIL 29

Savory Events presents Grilled Cheese Disco. Back at The Liquor Store for their fifth Friday residency to give you yet another legenDAIRY (get it?!) evening of beats n cheese. House, Disco, Techno, and all the dancing you can handle from 9 p.m. to close. And yes—there will be grilled cheese for your mouth. $10. 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. at the Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont St.

SUNDAY, MAY 1

Heartbeat Silent Disco: Pastel in the Park. A Silent Disco is a flash-mob-style dance party where attendees tune in to the same sound track using headphones, but people who are not participating hear only silence. Heartbeat Silent Sound Systems is joining forces with the “Pastel in the Park” Sunday near Laurelhurst Park Duck Pond from 4-8 pm for an impromptu celebration of color and dance.

Meet at 5:45 p.m. to stretch and guarantee your headphones. Photos will begin at 4 p.m. and music will kick off around 6 p.m.

EVERY WEDNESDAY

Amateur night at Stag PDX, though they won’t look like amateurs, trust. Hosted by Godiva Devyne, come gawk at the pretty dancers.

And talk some shit with the Devyne Ms. G. 9 p.m., Stag PDX, 317 NW Broadway.

and continue until 9 p.m. Bring a valid ID to check out a set of headphones for a $5 donation. Text @silentPDX to 23559 for mo info. 4 p.m. at Laurelhurst Park, 3554 SE Akeny St. Bridge Club. Portland’s gay/lez/queer/all-loving daytime dance party. You’re favorite Sunday T-Dance is revamped for 2016 and excited to bring Portland its finest cuts of: house, disco, techno, club, DIVA and more. Gossip Cat is a Bridge Club Alumnus who is returning to his home soil to present a bouquet of fresh sounds for all his favorite pansies. 21+. 3 p.m. $5 at White Owl, 1305 SE 8th Ave.

SATURDAY, MAY 7

Basic Rights Education Fund Statewide Leadership Summit. Sponsored by Pride Foundation and Pride Northwest, th daylong event will be your opportunity to meet with LGBTQ and ally advocates from around the state, attend organizing workshops and get the skills you need to become a leader in your communit Workshops will cover topics like racial justice, transgender justice, grassroots fundraising, lobbying to community change and more. Mor info online at basicrightsoregon. org. $20, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Lane Community College, 101 W 10th Ave. in Eugene, Oregon.

Library Surplus Sale. It’s spring cleaning for the Oregon Historical Society Research Library, which means we have a super sale of duplicate or out of scope items.

SECOND TUESDAYS

Bi Bar—every second Tuesday at Crush, and it’s an open, bi-affirming space for music and mingling. Correction: Bi/Pan/Fluid/ Queer. 8 p.m., Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

SECOND FRIDAYS

EVERY THURSDAY

Slo Jams is a Queer Modern R&B & Neo Soul Dance Night at Local Lounge. DJ II TRILL (TWERK) and DJ MEXXX-TAPE lay down everything from Mary J // Jagged Edge// Keyshia to Badu//Lauryn Etc. 10 p.m., Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.

FIRST SATURDAYS

Hot Flash: Inferno. (Second and Fourth Saturdays) In the heart of Portland is where the women are—dancing the night away and burning up dance floors the second and fourth Saturdays of every month at Trio. Welcoming all women, queers, and their allies. DJ Lauren joins Wildfire, and this night features dancers from up and down the I-5 corridor. 6 p.m.-10 p.m., Trio, 909 E. Burnside.

Hip Hop Heaven. Bolivia Carmichaels hosts this hip-hop-heavy soiree night every Thursday night at CCs. Midnight guest performers and shows. Remember those midnight shows at The City? Bolivia does! 9 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free.

Hard Yes presents: Yes Please! Yes Please is a monthly queer dance party for the dark, dirty and fabulous who just wanna dance. The party also features guest performers from Portland and beyond plus resident DJ Sappho alongside a rotating lineup of guest DJ’s providing you with a healthy dose of: House, techno, deep disco and hard f*ggotry. Cover $7. 21+. 9 p.m. at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St. Sugar Town. DJ Action Slacks. Keywords: Soul, polyester. Great place to find the ladies, to mingle, to get your groove on. 9 p.m., The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42. $5.

Pop Rocks! 80s music aficionado DJ Matt Consola (Bearracuda) is hosting a very special 80s anthem night at Euphoria Nightclub. The space will be enhanced with an 80s theme featuring dancers, games and an official Dungeons & Dragons Gaming Table, visuals, rad 80s movies, drink specials, a photo booth, coat check and special guest DJs. 10 p.m., Euphoria, 315 SE 3. No cover.

Pants Off Dance Off. Come get bold and bawdy at Crush Bar’s monthly clothing-optional dance event, a bar-as-you-dare safe space to break character without risking your day job (no cell phone photos allowed, folks!) Come early—the place gets packed and space is limited. $5 cover after 9 p.m. with a clothes check for $2. 1400 SE Morrison St.

SECOND SATURDAYS

THIRD MONDAYS

Bump, grind and crash into your favorite queer friends at Gay Skate. Look for our publisher, who’s always handing out copies of PQ. And, you know, you’ll probably get a date. Every third Monday. Food drive for Take Action Inc. 7 p.m., Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way. $6.

CALENDAR SP

THIRD TUESDAYS

Beareoke PDX is BACK! Invite all the bears & chasers you know who pqmonthly.com

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From books to maps to newspapers to photographs, the library will be selling many items relating to Oregon and the American West for $1 - $5! Must be an OHS member. 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Oregon Historical Society, 1200 SW Park Ave. Spring Ball 2016: Welcome to Stepford. Step into the suburbs of Connecticut Portland. Stepford is Portland’s paradise: no crime, no poverty, and no pushing.

Join us for an evening of florals, Kentucky derby hats & Stepford boys. There will also be raffles & silent auctions throughout the evening. Cover proceeds go to ISRC general fund. Cover $10. 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. at StagPDX, 317 NW Broadway.

Swagger Like Us. Your Queer Hip Hop Performance Dance Party—an evening of booty dropping hip hop and live performances brought to you by Kelly Lovemonster and davO. Hosts Kelly Lovemonster, Viktor Belmont and Yes Please! Cover $7 before 10 p.m., $10 after. 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St.

SUNDAY, MAY 15

The Biggest Clothing Swap in the Northwest. Last year more than 1,000 attendees walked out with a few thousand pounds of swapped clothing. $8 adv or $9 at the door and a bag of clothes gets you a whole new wardrobe. If you have no clothes to bring you can buy an empty bag for $5. Grab a mimosa or cocktail while you

karaoke. Free! 9 p.m. at Scandals, 1125 SW Stark St.

THIRD WEDNESDAYS

Comedy at Crush: Belinda Carroll and a slew of locals rustle up some funny. Special guests, and Crush’s signature cocktail and food menus. Donations, sliding scale. (Comics have to eat and drink, too, so give!) 9 p.m., Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

Queens of the Night: Alexis Campbell Starr. That’s all you need to know. But there’s more: she always welcomes a special slew of talented queens for a night that takes Hip-Hop from beginning to end. 8 p.m., Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. Free.

THIRD THURSDAYS

Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-the-day language, music, and elegance. An ease-you-into-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys make the music. Bridge and tunnel patrons have no idea what to do with us when we pour in. Hint: it’s always the Thursday we go to press. What serendipitous fortune! 10 p.m., Vault, 226 NW 12. Free.

THIRD SATURDAYS

Burlescape! Burlesque & boylesque wrapped in a taste of tease! Zora Phoenix, Isaiah Esquire, Tod Alan. 9 p.m., Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. $10. We’re featuring all of Zora’s online, so get on the net.

PONSORED BY events Undergear: Eagle Portland’s monthly underwear, jock, mankini, etc., fetish party every third Saturday.

Free if you arrive before 9 p.m. or if you use free clothes check upon entry after. After 9 p.m. arrivals who do not check clothes must pay $5 entry. Clothes check and raffle prize provided by Cub Cleaners. Eagle Portland, 835 N. Lombard.

Stranger Disco. An always-packed North pqmonthly.com

shop and swap. Clothes must be wearable and washed, no socks or undergarments. Funds benefit the Alley 33 Fashion Show. 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St. Naked Trivia’s LAST CALL. This is season’s final Naked Trivia at Scandals! Not your mama’s trivia... bonus points for playing in your underwear. Only $10 for a team of 1-4 people. Awesome prizes for the winners and raffle prizes. Being in your underwear is optional, having fun is a requirement. 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. at Scandals, 1125 SW Stark St.

THURSDAY, MAY 17

PQ Monthly’s May Press Party. Meet and mingle with the PQ monthly staff, writers, sponsors and supporters in celebration of our May/ June edition. Get a tasty PQ cocktail and enjoy the racy ambiance at Stag. As always, our event is FREE! 5 p.m. at Stag PDX, 317 NW Broadway.

THURSDAY, MAY 26

From Root to Fruit. PFLAG Portland’s Black Chapter celebrates its annual anniversary. A night of celebration with inspiring speakers and powerful performances from Portland’s LGBTQ community. General Admission is $53.74. Email pflagpdx.pbc@gmail.com to inquire about discount tickets.

Event starts at 6 p.m. Ambridge Event Center, 1333 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.

Portland favorite queer dance party on North Williams; DJs Stormy Roxx, Vera Rubin and Sappho. 21+, $5, starts at 9 p.m., Vendetta, 4306 N. Williams Ave.

FOURTH FRIDAYS

Twerk. DJs ILL Camino and II Trill. Keywords: bring your twerk. The city’s longest-running queer hip hop/R&B party—where artists, deejays, performers come to mix, mingle, and move on the dance floor. We promise you you’ll move all night long. 10 p.m., Killingsworth Dynasty, 832 N Killingsworth. $5.

Club Kai-Kai. A crazy, cozy, packed dance party for queers at Saucebox. Club Kai-Kai (at it’s most basic) is an experimentation of nightlife, performance, and your gender preference. If you have questions, we don’t have answers; we just have a space for you to Kai-Kai. $5 cover, 21+ at Saucebox, 214 SW Broadway.

FOURTH SATURDAYS

Blow Pony. Two giant floors. Wide variety of music, plenty of room for dancing. Rowdy, crowdy, sweaty betty, the one tried and true, even after all these years. 9 p.m., Euphoria, 315 SE 3. $7.

Judy on Duty. Lesbian hardcore. Judys, Judes, and cool ass freaks.

Dance it out. DJ Troubled Youth. Organized by Ana Margarita and Megan Holmes. 10 p.m., High Mark Water Lounge, 6800 NE MLK.

LAST SUNDAYS

Sabbathhause Discotheque, gay night is back at Aalto lounge and it is bigger and more queer than ever before. Featuring some of the best deejays and performers around and hosted by night hawk Chanticleer Tru. 8 p.m., Aalto Lounge, 3356 SE Belmont.

3

WEDDINGS VOICES GET OUT THE BRILLIANT LIST

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27

From #BlackLivesMatter to Black Liberation: A challenging discussion with activist, author and scholar Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor. Taylor will survey the history and current realities of US racism. She will examine how institutional racism has created and shaped the structural problems that affect Black people, such as mass incarceration and unemployment, even as more Black people hold political office than ever before. The event will also note the release of her new book. 7 p.m. at Powells, 1005 W Burnside.

PQ PICKS

SATURDAY, MAY 7

Cascade AIDS Project Art Auction After-Party. Since 1989, CAP’s Annual Art Auction is one of CAP’s major annual fundraisers, rasing more than $600,000 to the organizaton’s work supporting those living with or at risk of HIV. $50 includes open bar, access to 1540 pieces of art, dancing, and food from fabulous Portland area restaurants. Tickets to the main dinner are sold out, but the after-party is still open to more guests! 8 p.m. to Midnight at Montgomery Park, 2701 NW Vaughan St.

SATURDAY, MAY 21

Red Dress Party 2016: The Walking Red. Prepare to celebrate like it’s the zombie apocalypse— or the “Thriller” video. Start thinking of your ensemble now and let your imagination run wild. The only things that are mandatory are a ticket, your 21+ ID and a Red Dress! The event returns to the awesome 2015 location, The Old Freeman Factory in NW Portland. VIP admission and all the perks from 8 pm to end.

General admission from 9 pm to end. Tickets $55: get them online at reddresspdx.com.

2638 NW Wilson St. APRIL/MAY 2016 • 15

VOICES

FEATURE

A NEW DAY

By Jesse Peters, Eco Firma Farms for PQ Monthly

If you’re in your late 30’s or above you may remember the days of endlessly waiting for “a bag.” Some days it was easy, one phone call and the bag was delivered straight to your door for a session on the couch with the double perk. Other days, it was endless waiting for a call from the ‘guy’. Even worse the money would make it out the door, never to be seen again. Countless nights of multiple phone calls........over a land line, anxiously waiting, then. Finally, the knock at the door, the call you’ve been waiting for, the roommate returns, the hook-up makes it back; and behold, an eighth of weed! A glorious 2.8 to 3.1 gram sandwich bag of “the chronic” for a mere $40, ($35 if you’re my age). No clue where it was grown or if it had been hosed down with pesticide. No idea of the strain, not even an idea of indica or sativa; just “a bag”, and we would celebrate it. Victory! Now let’s get high!

Things have changed since those days.

The legalization of cannabis in Oregon has brought many options consumer. Standing at the counter in the dispensary you are faced with deciding between an indica, sativa, hybrid, the strain, the potency, and that’s just the flower. It’s enough to make your head spin and long for those days when someone delivered you a plain old “bag of weed”. So to help this along, lets talk about understanding the choices for what they are. First, know your dispensary. They are not all created equal. Some dispensaries sell only their own product so your selection may be limited or even non-existent when it comes to a variety of cultivators.

Second, get to know your budtender. You will likely be relying on their knowledge and taking their recommendations. It’s important that they understand the effect you are looking for and are able to find you a good match. A good budtender knows all about the product and cultivator it came from. A reputable cultivator/farm will have a website you can visit to learn about the company and their products.

BAREBACK

to shamelessly and c o n f i d e n t l y ow n Continued from page 11 our decisions to use or not use condoms without feeling that we must defend our choices at every turn, without feeling gripped with fear and shame each time a report comes out saying that nothing in HIV prevention is perfect.

We are all doing the best we can with the information we have — we are not stupid, we are not immoral, and we are not irresponsible.

16 • APRIL/MAY 2016

Now that you have found a great dispensary let’s choose some good strains!

The common theme these days is to hunt for the strains with big THC numbers and narrow is down from there. But did you know, a strain with 30% THC and no BetaMyrcene will not have nearly the intensity that one with 23% THC and a ton of BetaMyrcene will? We won’t spin off into the science of terpenes too much here. The point is, shopping exclusively for the highest THC number is like shopping for the highest alcohol content in beer. The numbers are significant but should not be the deciding factor. Cannabis is like wine, and grapes grown in a dirty basement with Scotts miracle grow can hit 30% all day, but the flavor is going to tell that tale as soon as you light up. We can go into the science and debate behind organic cultivation vs. non-organic and everything in-between, but the reality is, a good dispensary will know their cultivator’s methods, and a good brand will have all you need to know on their website.

So, how does the consumer choose?

Selecting a cannabis strain is similar to choosing a variety of wine – taste, structure, and effect. To compare the two, indica would be a red, and sativa a white. Within the reds and whites, cannabis strains have their own world of Pinot’s and Merlo’s, Zinfandels, and Chardonnays. Here are a few basics to know. Indicas tend to be more “in your head” and relaxing whereas Sativas tend to be more the energetic “body high”. CBN with high THC can cause some anxiety if you’re prone to that, CBD counteracts THC so that 2:1 CBD strain you’ve eyed is a little different than you think. THC over 24% with high Beta-Myrcene typically equals couch lock. A few additional things to look for - is it grown locally, sustainably, and/or organically?

For some of us, high is high and that’s enough. Others want to pair their cannabis with food or mix it up throughout the day.

A little Black Cherry Soda for inspiration at work and Hawaiian Snow to relax after a long day. The Oregon cannabis market offers us endless opportunities to expand our palates. New strains and products are available to us daily. Oregon produces the best cannabis in the world, whether you’re trying a new strain or stocking up on your fav, you are getting the best cannabis available from the best growers around.

Jeremiah Johnson is the HIV Prevention Research and Policy Coordinator at the Treatment Action Group in New York. His career as an HIV activist began in 2008 when the US Peace Corps wrongfully dismissed him from his volunteer service because he had tested positive for HIV.​ Monty Herron is a staff writer for PQ Monthly, Graduate student at Portland State University, author, and member of the Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde. pqmonthly.com

FEATURES COMMUNITY

pqmonthly.com

APRIL/MAY 2016 • 17

VOICES VOICES FEATURES FEATURE FEATURE

AWAKENING PART 2

By Marco Davis, PQ Monthly

A hush washes over the room as I step in. The musicians, 4 of them to the right of The Oracle, stop their playing and, along with the rest of the room, bow their heads to me.

The Oracle, standing with purpose and grace reaches his arms to me and advances, surrounding me in an embrace I’ve always longed for. It felt like he was that tree deep in the forest I have leaned against and hugged and laughed and cried beneath my whole life; only now, he was holding me physically.

The Oracle speaks with a thick and soft voice, “ You are correct My Queen, I am that tree. All of your years of laughter and tears and reverence you held beneath my shelter awoke the spirit within and I was free, once again, to roam this beautiful planet with others like myself.”

Excitedly I interrupt,” So there are many more of you?”

His laughter shakes the room,”No, a few here and there.

This age is to be known as The Awakening. You have helped to shift the veil and the spirits of the forest, sea and sky are feeling their actual beings again. The journey has just begun, excitement builds as more of us Awakened find our way here, beyond the Coast Range, your sweet song fills their hearts, and they find there way here, free to be alive as they are.”

“A handful are awaiting your orders as to where this quest will lead them, us. I will take you to them shortly, but now, sit, I wish to hear how you arrived.”

I relaxed in his embrace and sank into the comfort of the pillows and furs. Hawk sat slightly away from me, completely alert as to every movement or sound around us. The musicians sit, as well, and all eyes are on me as The Oracle asks,” Do you recall the moment of your Awakening?”

Seated in the comfort of the room, I glanced at Hawk, a flash of sights and sounds flutter around my mind. The running water, Hawk brushing the dirt from my body, being pushed up and out of the earth. I recall sitting on the rock in the stream and fighting in my heart, mind, and body. The wind blew across my neck, and I heard an idea of a voice,’ Breathe Daylight. Soften to this rage within and around you. Focus on your breath, then face your demons, one at a time.’

I began focusing on my breath, and I faced each of my demons, one at a time, with kindness, an open heart, and ears to listen. What I discovered was that I instantly go into attack mode when any situation arises. My shields go up, and I rage within the confines of my fortress. That action immediately causes whoever I may be in conflict with to react the same way. I saw the reality of the situation. Both 18 • APRIL/MAY 2016

of us holding up our protective fortresses and yelling and raging but neither of us able to respond because we are deaf and consumed with what we must express.”

“The next demon I faced I tried a different approach; I took a deep breath, softened my chest and opened my heart and walked forward with kindness and ears to listen. I discovered that the same happened with my demon, and we were able to understand and move forward without conflict. That was when I lost my form, and I was washed into the stream, and I felt my head being held by our ancestors encouraging me to continue to unfold and let go. I did so, and became one with all things, and the next thing I remember is the sound of running water and the feel of the forest floor beneath my face. As I recalled how I came to be there, I grew out of the earth and awoke to Hawk brushing the ground from my belly, wrapping me in this robe and bringing me to you.”

The Oracle held me in his gaze as he rose, a movement that happened so swiftly and quickly that I had to do a double-take. He swept his arms wide and laughed with such thunder I felt it beneath my seat, “Daylight, it is as it was foretold….” The musicians begin to play again and the Oracle sings, “The Awakening, as we enter this new age, we will face the demons of our lives and be challenged to face them.” (the music sounds like thunder and wind and birds in the early morning building and giving way to morning and the warmth of the sun) “We must strive for that kindness within. We lower our shields, we raise our heads and lower our shields and engage with a smile.” The violin takes over and lifts my soul from my chest, and I rise. I join in on the tide of the music, riding the beautiful wave of knowledge as I am carried to shore, “I face you, I see you, we are here, yes we are. This road, it leads us on, never guaranteeing anything more than adventure. This life it is ours, and we must choose to live it. I see you standing here, and I want to be swept away in the moment of your smile and sing and dance and move on and out.” The music build and laughter fills the air, the sweet fragrance of spring in the air, cherry blossoms fluttering down around us all as we share at this moment, this calm before the storm.

Even though we were in celebration, we knew that this quest was going to be long and challenging and our song hard to hear over the yells in the world around us. The Oracle grabbed my hand and twirled me towards him and dipped me and taking my last thought from me, he sings in my ear, “and it will all be just fine because we have Daylight on our side.” to be continued. pqmonthly.com

PERS{ECTOVES

VOICES

FINDING LEO The Binder Adventure I came out as trans in 2013. This revelation introduced a whole new level of questioning and much emotional energy invested in the question “Am I really trans?”

I would review the DSM-IV definition of transgender and compare my “symptoms” as a checklist. I would say “Ok, I may be trans, but am I trans enough to be trans?”

Damned if I do, damned if I don’t, I thought.

On spin cycle in my brain during this time was my dislike of my breasts. Summer was the worst. Wearing a bikini in the midst of shirtless men in shorts while trying to be one of the guys is less than ideal, to say the least. Hardly a conversation went by that I didn’t bring up my dislike of my breasts.

Oh, my poor friends! It even became a joke, or perhaps a desperate plea, not to discuss my breasts anymore.

As soon as I came out, I wore only sports bras to keep my breasts as flat as possible.

When I became brave enough to come out to more people, I decided to try a binder. A binder, or compression tee, is a tank top like shirt designed to compress one’s breasts for a flatter chest. It can be difficult to put on, and not always comfortable, but the mental relief it provides for body dysphoria is huge and far outweighs these other considerations.

I was nervous to actually go shop for a binder, so I convinced my roommate, Patrick, to go with me. We went to She-Bop, “A Female Friendly Sex Toy Boutique for Every Body.” A pleasant sales clerk walked up to offer assistance. Too embarrassed to ask for a binder, I mumbled a question about the “gender identity section” as I had seen it described online. She kindly showed me where the binders, packers, and stand-topee devices were. She told me that I could try on the binders to determine which size to get. Grabbing a few, I headed to the dressing room.

My first attempt to pull the binder over my shoulders was a complete failure. Picture a black tank top, with three layers of fabric in the front and one in the back. The fabric is deceivingly stretchy, but its job is to grip and squeeze the offending breasts into something approaching flatness. Grip and squeeze it does! I couldn’t even get the first one over my shoulders. So I wrestled my way out of it and tried again with the next size up, but it was not any easier.

I backed out of the binder, an effort in and of itself. I looked at the red marks on my skin and peeked my head through the curtain for the clerk. She helpfully suggested I try rolling the binder up first. Then, after I slid it over my shoulders, I could simply unroll it. There was no “simply” unrolling

it. After getting stuck again, I a s k e d i f Pa t rick could come into the dressing room to help, but their store policy prohibits more than one person in a dressing room.

Even trying the unrolling technique again, I was utterly failing. The gripping and squeezing action of the binder was incredibly effective on my underarms as I tried unsuccessfully to get the binder from over my shoulders to under my armpits and ready to roll down.

I stuck my head out of the curtain again, this time, with my binder, stuck on my armpits and my arms unable to lower. In a stage whisper, I called for Patrick to come back over to help. Since he couldn’t come in, I turned my back to the opening and had him stick his hand through the curtain to roll down the binder from the back, while I tried to roll it down from the front. My pinned arms flailed as I tried to both block my breasts from view and tug down the front of the binder.

After a mutual effort, we were able to roll the binder down. Every inch of progress was preceded by strain, tugging, scraping, and probably profanities.

But then, success! As much of a pain in the ass, or underarm, as it turned out to be, I enjoyed the final product when I looked in the mirror – a smooth chest without the protrusions of breasts that, for me, ruined the clean line of my shirt. Of course, I had to repeat the process in reverse to struggle out of the sample binder.

As difficult as it was to put on at first, wearing a binder gave me the incredible experience of freedom, allowed me to calm my mind, and gave me some relief from dysphoria. Top surgery a year later then gave me total liberation and a lightness of spirit.

I no longer trouble myself wondering if I’m trans enough to be trans, or what people will think of my decision to transition. I’m free, and I’m me.

If you would like to help young trans-masculine men with limited resources, relieve their gender dysphoria, TransActive Gender Center in Portland has a program for the donation of new and used binders. They also provide “a holistic range of services and expertise to empower transgender and gender diverse children, youth and their families in living healthy lives, free of discrimination.” You can find out how to help here: www.transactiveonline.org/inabind Thank you, as always, for being so awesome.

ELLE ZOBER

By Leo Bancroft, PQ Monthly

Leo Bancroft is a Lutheran trans man. He volunteers on the boards of Cascade AIDS Project and ReconcilingWorks. You can reach him at leo@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

APRIL/MAY 2016 • 19

FEATURE NIGHTLIFE

FEATURE

SPARKS FLY AT CAMP NAMANU

By Olivia Olivia for PQ Monthly

to your home community or immediate or extended family,” says Lindberg. “A lot On the banks of the Sandy River, Camp of kids come to camp and really have an Namanu prepares for its 93rd summer host- opportunity to be themselves in a way that ing families from around the Pacific North- impacts them for the rest of their lives.” west and further on. This somewhat traLindberg went on to say that although ditional camp setting boasts all the hall- the camp is known in many ways for tramarks of an American ditional summer camp summer camp experience – experiences – playing in fire building, nature hikes, the woods, learning crafts, wishing rocks, and unique and hiking – that many songs campers say they alumni can attest to find remember into adulthood. acceptance there that they But it also has something struggled to find elsewhere. else that’s a little differ“Many active alumni, men, ent than most traditional and women, will tell you summer camps: it’s a place that when they came to a that welcomes LBGTQ the camp in the 1960’s, they families and children and found acceptance here for is a home for diverse popsometimes the first time in ulations that say they’ve their lives, and they are still come to understand them- KATY AND JENNA GUERTIN-DAVIS HAD THE UNIQUE EXPERIENCE OF NOT ONLY HAVING involved because of that MET AT CAMP NAMANU BUT HAVING CELEBRATED THEIR WEDDING ON CAMPGROUNDS selves and others better at IN SEPTEMBER 2009. THE COUPLE NOW HAS TWO CHILDREN THEY HOPE TO RAISE AT experience.”

THE CAMP WHERE THEY MET. - PHOT O BY AMANDA BARNES this fantastic place in the Many share the beacon woods where memories are made. of hope that Namanu offers for those lookIn an era where organizations across ing to find a place that accepts them. Mustathe country are scrambling to work with fah Finney, a young Black man who grew up new kinds of families and relationships, in Portland, since he seeded his passion for and comply with anti-discrimination laws, nature and the outdoors at Camp Namanu Camp Fire, which runs Camp Namanu, says when he was only in sixth grade. Years later, it has been grappling with the issues of when he was in high school, he applied to be inclusion since it opened 105 years ago, in an outdoor class leader. As a summer camp 1910. At the time, the organization focused counselor, Finney developed leadership skills on providing opportunities for women and he says he might have not have accessed as was called Camp Fire Girls. It was the first easily elsewhere. non-sectarian organization for girls in the “It was hard for me to explain to my United States. Programming in the North- immediate family, but at camp, I learned west began in 1911 as groups in Forest Grove to find nature peaceful and inspiring. It was led expeditions to a campsite at Rivera, on always a struggle being a Black male, going the banks of the Willamette River near the into arts, and going to camp,” he said. “But present site of Dunthorpe. when I started taking photos out in nature I The organization gradually evolved, and just felt more connected, and I learned more the Portland Council was officially created about myself there.” Finney would go on to in 1921. Not long afterward, a search began be Camp Fire Columbia’s Middle School Profor a site that would host a full-service resi- gram Coordinator and recently moved on dential camp. The 552-acre plot of forest land to work at a local nonprofit, New Avenues located at the confluence of the Sandy and For Youth after eight years of camp work.

Bull Run rivers was donated to the Council “I will never forget my time there,” Finney by local lumberman Samuel B. Cobb and later adds. “I am stronger because I learned more became what is now Camp Namanu, which about myself and other kinds of people at has been in continuously open since 1924. this camp that helped me accept myself.”

Trystan Reese, Vice President of DevelOther kinds of families and individopment and Communications, explains uals abound at the camp, and one budthat that Camp Namanu went co-ed in the ding family even says they wouldn’t have 1970s when Camp Fire made the executive started without Camp Namanu. Katy and decision to include boys in all areas of the Jenna Guertin-Davis say they met over ten program. The program was notable when years ago at the organization while on staff it started for being open to participants of and hit it off right away in the unique and all races, which was exceptional at the turn pastoral landscape. “I grew up Catholic,” of the last century when it began. “When explained Katy of her background. “I knew an organization is founded on 100 years of I wasn’t necessarily straight, but I had never inclusion, that ethos is part of your DNA.” been in a relationship with another woman Explained Reese of how the organization before. Then I met Jenna.” The couple just has become known for its inclusion of vari- welcomed their second child 8 weeks ago. ous genders, orientations, and family struc“We got married in September 2009, tures during a time when other businesses right when the camp was dying down for are struggling to catch up with social jus- the summer, and it was super campy, super tice and inclusion of LGBTQ communities. gay, and super us,” Katy says beaming. “And Andy Lindberg, Director of Namanu we want our kids to go camping at Namanu Programs and Facilities, explained that the and know where their family started and camp has a long history of helping others know they will be accepted no matter what discover themselves. “This is a place where their family looked like and what kind of you have an opportunity to be yourself people they become.” that doesn’t have those strings attached CAMP NAMANU page 25 20 • APRIL/MAY 2016

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FASHION CALENDAR

TURN A LOOK: TAURUS Sally Mulligan, PQ Monthly

Welcome to the fourth installment of Turn a Look: Horoscopes! Every month I will be forecasting fashions for the sign that month falls on. We’re finally settling into Spring; The world is blooming!

What are you terrestrial babes hoping to call back down to earth and what do you need to send skyward? Let’s take a peek at your fashion predictions for the year.

CALLING IN: EARTH ANGEL Taurus is the first earth sign of the year, known for both their down-to-earth nature and their love of the material. Nothing wrong with being a material queer living in a material... here. Embrace it! People born under this sign enjoy hard work and all the fixin’s and luxury that comes with it. Earth signs also feel at home when they are spending time with nature. Combine this with their sensual spirit, and you have yourself the perfect look to combine all these earthly delights in one powerful package: think silky fabrics, vintage “old money” silhouettes, and DRAMA, all with a west coast spin. Work outside the confines of the “bohemian” aesthetic and I think you’ll find a classic Taurustowing the line of theatrics, all while keeping their feet firmly planted on the ground. Who else could pull off such a feat?

CASTING OUT: STUBBORNLY ROOTED You know what they say when you mess with the bull... Anyway, Taurus doesn’t always get a lot of credit beyond their short temper and tendency to dig their high heels into the ground.

When I think of “queerness,” I think about our ability to deconstruct the status quo, take what serves us and change the rest. Sweet, misunderstood Taurus, it is such a good thing that you can state your boundaries, and hold your own against those who seek to harm, but you needn’t be so extreme. Pick your battles and conserve your energy for what is closest to your heart.

Dip your toe outside the box with some clashing prints, bold lines, contrasting shapes, all done with a bit of the old Taurus control, such as geometric prints and blocky power suits.

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Look no further than fellow Taurus Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who knows how to pull off the tender and tough look.

CALLING IN: OL’ RELIABLE Taurus loves good sex, good food, good music, and they know how to get it. You show up, you work hard, and you keep hustling. Your practical nature ensures that A will always equal B, and in this case, A is hard work, and B is all the finer things in life your heart desires.

Earth signs, amirite? After plenty of chaos nipping at your tail the past few years, focus on yourself and your comfort (not an easy task for the doting, romantic Taurus!) Invest in luxe fabrics in timeless, minimalist cuts that you will have for years the perfect compromise for your earthbound sensibilities. Carrying your comfort with you is protection for the sweetly sensitive bull. You’re a tenderqueer of few words, and you always make them count. Adopting a stark (but never boring) look is a great strategy for encompassing this.

CASTING OUT: LAZY SNOOZIN’ Taureans have the unique reputation of, shall we say, somehow being one of the hardest workers, and also the laziest of the zodiac?

No shade here! I’m an earth sign myself, and we are creatures constantly balancing between these two extremes. The “work hard, play hard” mantra doesn’t exactly suit Taurus, who is more of a “work hard, nap harder” kind of a queer.

Practical Taurus, consider this: a short grift for you is wearing comfy, chic clothing while putting your nose to the grindstone. I see lots of breezy pants, soft knits, and pastels in the year ahead. Think “office bitch at a yoga retreat” and you’re right on the money, honey.

TAURUS PLAYLIST: “Pillowtalk,” Zayn; “Dangerous Woman,” Ariana Grande; “Material Girl,” The Weeknd; “Work,” Rihanna f/ Drake.

**You probably already know this but just in case: I am not a professional astrologer, and these are just my fun suggestions. Do what you want and let me know how it goes!**

APRIL/MAY 2016 • 21

NIGHTLIFE

VOICES

ON A PERSONAL NOTE She stole that.

By Melanie Davis, for Brilliant Media llc.

In the October 2015 Edition of PQ, I inked a piece called ‘Dear you of today,’ which ended up being a precursor to the drastic changes that were about to unexpectedly manifest during the days, weeks and months following. I have reflected on that piece often since my life had changed overnight. As many of you know, I went through a break-up with someone I loved and honored both publicly and privately for almost 7 years. As irony would have it, we broke up on Columbus Day of 2015, now known by many cities in our country, including Portland as ‘Indigenous Peoples Day.’ Understanding that my life is relatively public and that I am a member of the media who does not abuse that privilege, I made only one public post on social media about the breakup. I tried with all of me to keep the elements of the break-up private outside of what the ex-lover had already made available for public view.

Unbeknownst to me, I wrote that piece late Sunday on the eve of what would be the last hours of the life she and I shared. I bring this up because I feel I was a fake. Over the last few months, I have been doing lots of counseling and healing. However, when I reread the letter, I wrote to you last October I closed with 6 words. Those being:

“FEAR, fuck fear, LIVE & LOVE!” I have not been speaking my own truth, and for that, I deeply apologize. I realized the last 7 years were a lie. Admittedly, an illusion I created for safety out of fear. See, I quit drinking on July 7, 2007, Alcohol is my drug of choice – namely: vodka rocks. In any case, back in ’07 I did 14 days in treatment (at the same time as Robin Williams R.I.P., just different facilities in Oregon) 60 days outpatient, 40 days and nights of AA. Followed up with years with of counseling, big book work, a beautiful family and courageous AA members who are now family.

I am deeply blessed and grateful for all of these people. It is in these sacred circles that one can be vulnerable and speak our truths no matter how ugly.

My Abuse Within the walls of AA, the therapist office and many of these scared circles, people speak their truths and most importantly it is a trusted environment to talk about our struggles, pain and abuse(s). Two years into my sobriety I shared with my biological and chosen family on New Year’s Eve that I was going to start dating again. I swear I can still smell the candles and sage burning after that resolution was verbalized.

Anyhow, I met someone who I thought was a solid person and some month later she and I were girlfriends. I opened myself to this person. I gave that person my respect and trust, I shared about my abuses and even my rape, and kidnapping. I trusted her with all of me.

22 • APRIL/MAY 2016

Power Shift Although I have always paid my own way in life, I was now paying her way as well. I just thought I was doing what a “good girlfriend” would do. She was on my payroll and admittedly she did do lots of work for Brilliant Media llc., work that I have publicly thanked her for many times over and work that she was handsomely compensated for monetarily.

Additionally, I paid for all meals, entertainment, charitable contributions, fundraisers we hosted, healthcare, phones, TV, auto insurance, and later rent when her tenant moved from the guesthouse. I put her through real-estate school, travel and so many other expenses. I think my heart was in the right place because I figured we were going towards forever. When she would tell me to pay for things keeping my accounts low, because in her words “WE” had her savings for our future. I have since learned she was economically abusing me by making sure I would never be in a financial position to leave. Additionally, the vulnerabilities that I had so intimately and trustingly shared with her had transformed, and come out of her mouth in the form of violent and hurtful words. I learned that being called “a big fat fucking cry baby…” would round out a day of being yelled at.

I learned to cry in my sleep.

I learned the more she shouted, the less I loved her, the less I wanted to make sweet love to her, the less I would share of me with her. The more fucked up she would tell me I was, the more fucked up I wanted to be… until I did get fucked up. Truth be told I fell off the wagon. HARD. It was during the launch of PQ – I know, I have never shared this. But stress was so high, and on a personal level, I did not want my work to sacrifice my relationship. So I sacrificed the one thing I had.

MY Sobriety. I began to sneak some drinks.

It helped me relax and have a “successful, healthy relationship and satisfying sex life.”

All was great till she found out. Understandably she lost it and immediately contacted my family. The following day I was at AA for a sobering confession. Later she promised me that she would never share with anyone that I relapsed because in her words, “we have my public image to look out for.” My heart went pitter-patter, because, in my mind, she loved me if she was willing to keep that shameful secret for me.

Weeks later I learned and continued to be reminded of “how good I was in bed when I was drunk” and how she wished I could just have a few drinks for that purpose. I eventually gave in to the pressure, and we agreed: only on weekends, at home, and only the two of us would know. We had a fantastic time until she realized that I am powerless over alcohol and in a drunken stupor compared me to her ex who was ON A PERSONAL NOTE page 23

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ARTS & CULTURE an alleged cocaine addict.

She said I was just like her, Continued from page 22 useless. I was only good for sex. I thank my family, higher power, and my AA peeps for helping me regain my sobriety later that year.

It was then I learned that she hated the fact that every woman she had ever dated had been abused. Not because they had been violated mind you. Rather, because as I had been told “once that happens, they are all fucked-up, and they can never have a normal sex life again…That’s why all those people are into that kinky shit.” I also learned that she wished everyone could be like her. All growing up from a perfect blue collar tract home with their innocence as intact as hers. I was told to get a grievance counselor when my father passed because she did enough grieving when her own parents had passed and would under no circumstances be available for “that.” I learned to make myself small, hide my pain, and greet her with a tall ice cold glass of fresh squeezed lemon water every evening and hear all about her day. I just learned that I told myself lies about how perfect my world had become.

Today I am living my words and speaking my truth. I realize my addicted mind had painted a reality for me to survive in. For those of you who would like a better understanding of how the addicted mind works, please go to our website for some resources. First and foremost, understand that addiction is defined as a chronic[.] The reality of “falling-off-the-wagon” is toying with death. So in exchange for life/sobriety I accepted/ignored the abuse, and wrote it off as benign because it was “just” verbal, and economic, no one could see, or hear it.

Ashamed I lived in shame all my life because of the abuses I survived. However, I was humiliated when I overheard my ex-lover share with perfect strangers the stories of my abuse.

When I first heard this, I wept. It was as if the rape, the abuse, the punches, the filth was all over me again. I was that weak 5, 8, 10, 15, and 21-year-old kid all over again. Hearing her talk about my abuse in regular conversation hurt me so deeply that I lost track of time, work, days, the pain hit my core.

I don’t know that I will ever have all the words to describe what it is like to hear your rape, your abuse being told by someone who, to this very day calls you a fat fucking cry baby.

I have taken lots some time to sit with these feelings.

Since the day my innocence was lost at age 5, I have come to know my inner child very well. I have protected her the best way I can, with what I know and have at the time. I have kept her pain and abuse held close to my heart with sworn lips of silence and in her secret shame. However, since my abuser outed my abuse to strangers I spent some time with my inner child, and we have learned in silence lives fear.

I will no longer be ashamed of what happened to me. Nor will I allow someone to use the violence and the abuse I survived as a weapon against me. That is mine. I survived it. I OWN IT! And, I now release it as I am the only one who is allowed to tell my abuse story if I want – NOT ANOTHER! On an intimate level, I have survived molestation, physical abuse, rape, and abduction. It is my survival that gives me the strength and courage to do the work of my higher power on earth. So to my ex-lover who I have honored over the last 7 years, thank you for stealing what I was most ashamed of. It was fucking liberating! I am now re-gifting it back in the form of love, light, and forgiveness to her and those who have violated me. To my sister and brother survivors: I was told the best revenge is to live well!

Blessings, Melanie C. Davis Publisher-Owner Brilliant Media llc.

P.S.

Ah yes, one last skeleton because lord knows who might try to use this one: I never completed college! Now I can honestly say “FEAR, fuck fear, LIVE & LOVE!”

ON A PERSONAL NOTE

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503.228.3139 •PQMONTHLY.COM APRIL/MAY 2016 • 23

FEATURE BOOKS

SEX ABUSE LED TO SEX TRAFFICKING AMONG NATIVE AMERICANS PART 2

By Mary Annette Pember, Indian Country

Native women and girls with their high rates of sexual assault are particularly vulnerable to sex traffickers. Kevin Koliner, South Dakota Assistant U.S. Attorney, noted that more than 50 percent of the sex trafficking cases prosecuted over the past five years by the South Dakota State’s Attorney’s office involved Native victims, an astonishing number.

Despite media coverage suggesting the Bakken oil patch is the primary driver and destination for sex trafficking in the Great Plains region, most of the trafficking affecting Indian country is “home-grown,” according to Koliner.

Many of the cases involve family members and can be described as survival sex or sex in exchange for items such as beer or drugs. “I can understand why people would want to attribute the trafficking solely to the Bakken oil fields, but Sioux Falls is a long way from Williston, North Dakota,” he said.

Several stories in the mainstream media have eagerly made this connection often citing the boomtown atmosphere surrounding the Bakken oil fields as the primary driver of sex trafficking. Tribal police from the Fort Berthold reservation, however, note that the notorious Morsette sex trafficking case involving tribal members coercing underage girls to have sex in exchange for money and drugs actually predated the Bakken oil boom by at least a year. Although perpetrators were prosecuted and convicted in 2012, the crimes occurred in 2008-09.

Koliner described a recent case in which a Native woman living on a South Dakota reservation (he requested that the woman’s name and location be withheld to protect victims) trafficked several young women in her care to migrant construction workers in the area in exchange for filling her gas tank and for food and beer.

Regarding the high numbers of Native sex trafficking victims, Koliner suggests that the crime may not be a new problem but rather reflects the terminology used in criminal charges. “In the past, perpetrators may have been charged with aggravated sexual abuse, rape or other categories,” he said. He points out that the perpetrators are “all over the map, Native and non-Native alike.”

“Most were sexually abused as kids before they got with a pimp later in life. They walk around thinking everything that has happened to them is their fault, that they simply made bad choices; they don’t see themselves as victims,” adds Vednita Carter, founder of Breaking Free, a Minneapolis-based non-profit dedicated to helping women escape prostitution.

According to Sarah Deer, an attorney, and professor of

law who has worked for years to draw attention to high rates of sexual assault among Native women, the sex trafficking of Native girls and women is a story 500 years in the making.

It is part of a historical dynamic of trauma that has framed Native women as more sexually available than others. Deer says the sexual exploitation of Native women began with their initial contact with Europeans and continues to this day. Exacerbated by the boarding school experience which contributed to normalizing sexual abuse, Native peoples have a traumatic history of sexual violence.

“These young women may be coerced into believing they are providing for their families and thus be reluctant to testify against them,” Koliner said. “There is nothing about Native culture that makes young women more vulnerable than those of other ethnicities.”

“Our reservations in South Dakota are located in the poorest counties in the United States. This is a crime of poverty. Sex trafficking in Indian country is a national embarrassment,” noted Koliner.

A MOTHER FIGHTS BACK Since moving to Rapid City from a reservation in South Dakota, Whiteeagle (not her real name) has struggled with trying to keep her 19-year-old daughter Lina away from sex traffickers. Brutally raped at age 14 by the relatives of a friend on the reservation Lina began engaging in “low-key” prostitution, exchanging sex for drugs according to Whiteeagle.

After the family moved to Rapid City, Lina began hanging around a t-shirt store with girls from other reservations.

The girls posed for photos wearing provocative clothing from the store. After days away, Lina would return home visibly intoxicated, with jewelry and money given to her by the men at the store. According to Lina, men frequently had sex with girls in the back room of the store, which had couches and video games. She described being driven to other locations to have sex with men.

Whiteeagle confronted the photographer and owner of the store. “He said he was trying to help Lina by giving her money,” she said. “I told him she has a family, she doesn’t need your help!”

At the urging of ICTMN, Whiteeagle reported her suspicions about illegal activity at the store to Rapid City police.

Sergeant Kelvin Moser visited the store but did not witness any illegal activity. “He must have used Lina’s name when he talked with them because the owner called and threatened our family,” Whiteeagle complained.

Sgt. Moser suggested that Whiteeagle take out a restraining order against the man. He insisted it would be best if Lina came forward and became involved in bringing charges.

Whiteeagle was outraged. “What the hell good is a restraining order going to do? That’s just a piece of paper.

She doesn’t want to press charges, she just wants to get better, to get away from all of this!”

The case is under investigation according to Rapid City police. The store, however, has since closed, and all references to it and its associates have since been taken down from Facebook.

Lina is currently in jail for use and possession of meth.

“Our girls are trying to relieve their pain with all these drugs, cutting, and suicides. It’s like they’ve been taken over,” Whiteeagle said. “I don’t know where choice enters into all this.”

NEW AGE SLAVERY “When I make a true choice, I’m able to do so knowing all that is involved in that choice. If I change my mind, I should be able to leave. But you can’t just walk away from prostitution. Once you’ve been involved so many things have happened that prevent you from leaving. I like to call it New Age Slavery,” Carter said. “At some point, however, their spirits fall down and they see that they are indeed victims.”

Initially, some may glamorize the life and speak fondly of the attention from men, wearing fancy clothes, going out to eat, staying in nice hotels. “I tell them that’s not prostitution. I ask them how they felt when a stranger ordered them to their knees and demanded they open their mouths.

Sometimes they begin to cry,” Carter said.

“Women come to realize they have been hurt; that things have happened to them that they never expected to happen. Men can do anything they want to a prostitute; women who come to us are broken,” Carter added.

Advocates stress that it’s important not to blindside women too soon with the notion that they are victims. “That pimp who was so cruel to them may also have been the only one who showed them compassion and said, ‘I believe in you,’,” said Sarah Edstrom, a certified sexual assault advocate at the Minnesota Indian Women’s Resource Center.

“Of course, he was only taking care of his product by keeping it clean and uninjured and therefore more marketable.

Coming to that realization can be devastating for women.”

Melanie Heitcamp, executive director of Youthworks of Bismarck and Fargo, North Dakota, agrees. “The best historical, social service practices are not the best for trafficking victims.”

Heitcamp’s organization has just received over $500,000 from the U.S. Department of Health and Social Services Administration for Children and Families to create culturally appropriate and trauma-informed services for victims SEX TRAFFICKING page 25

Always have supported LGBT rights, Always will.

24 • APRIL/MAY 2016

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SEX TRAFFICKING Continued from page 24

of trafficking for youth between the ages of 13-22. “I’m not yet sure of the wording of our policy surrounding addiction,” she explains.

“We want to create a therapeutic program that doesn’t contribute to blame and shame; we are working at creating better ways to do assessments for incoming clients.”

Still, there is sometimes a catch. Now that sex trafficking is beginning to receive the type of awareness brought to the issue of domestic violence, federal, state and tribal health and social service agencies are struggling to create meaningful ways to serve sex trafficking victims. There are numerous barriers, such as requiring victims to cooperate with law enforcement to receive services. For instance, the Office of Victims Services Comprehensive Services Office for Victims of All Forms of Human Trafficking sent the following response to ICTMN’s inquiry about services available to adult sex trafficking victims: “For the purpose of eligibility for services under this cooperative agreement, adult victims of human trafficking are required to cooperate with reasonable requests from law enforcement on the investigation or prosecution of trafficking in persons. OVC will consider exceptions on a case-by-case basis for adult victims who would be negatively impacted or re-traumatized by a requirement to assist law enforcement. Minors are not required to assist law enforcement; however, they should be encouraged to do so.”

“We have had to turn adults seeking help away from our office. Because of the limitations of the Safe Harbor legislation we can’t help them in ways they need. Survivors can’t help that they’ve turned 18. It doesn’t make any sense to me; they are still victims,” said Jessica Mantor, Safe Harbor Director at Life House in Duluth, Minnesota. Life House provides housing and support for homeless youth.

“The effects of sex trafficking are tough to turn around. Everybody wants to belong to something. When they don’t have a support system we have to help them find someone they can rely on,” said Mantor.

“Survivors need to have someone to talk to who won’t condemn them, usually another survivor,” said Carter.

“They need more than therapy, they need healing, ceremony to call their spirits back; they need genuine support and love,” said Edstrom.

There is a growing chorus of voices within Indian country that is turning to the unique needs of Native survivors. The first and only shelter specifically designated to serve Native American sex trafficking victims has recently been funded by the Department of

CAMP NAMANU Continued from page 20

Although the family says their kids are too young to enroll at the moment, they hope to get them involved as early as first grade. Camp Namanu, which welcomes youth between the ages of 7 and 17, is currently enrolling and hiring for their pqmonthly.com

Justice. Operated by Wiconi Wawokiya with the name Pathfinders, the shelter is due to open later this year. According to Lisa HetHope, executive director of Wiconi Wawokiya located on the Crow Creek Reservation, Pathfinders will offer long-term housing for survivors as well as mental health, job training and spiritual support services.

Traditional Indian social units must not be ignored, either. As demonstrated by this three-part investigative report (see Living the Life: Little Girls Don’t Daydream of Being Prostitutes and Living the Life: Limited Support for Adult Trafficking Survivors), the family core is perhaps the only viable lifeline and chance for a woman to attempt to leave ‘the life.’ When we looked for women struggling to escape the nightmare of prostitution and all its attendant afflictions, we found mothers of these young survivors determined to navigate the maze and perils of current health and support systems, determined to show their scars and tenacity in an effort to help their daughters heal from wounds generations old. Like Kai and Naivara (see Battle at Home: Traditional Spirit v. Addiction Spirit), Mary G. and Hope (see Surviving for the Love of Hope), Whiteeagle and Lina are forging their own path, with each small success met with equal parts uncertainty and doubt. Throughout it all, Whiteeagle’s determination has grown (see Ain’t No Sacajewea).

Whiteeagle now talks about how men, both on and off the reservation, were preying on wounded young women like her daughter. It made her mad; soon she found other mothers who were mad as well. Native women are standing up and speaking out against the violence and drugs in their communities, according to Whiteeagle. “Our girls are such easy prey, don’t even know they’re being sold,” she said. “These criminals get girls high in a party situation. The girls don’t even know it has all been pre-set that they will be having sex with the men there.”

She has overcome her own trauma— she was raped by someone she trusted. “I figured I’d already been stabbed, beaten during my assault. Now, I have to stop being afraid and advocate for myself and my children,” she said. She spoke of an incident on her reservation in which a group of mothers surrounded the car of a meth dealer as he tried to leave the neighborhood before police arrived. “We took up brooms, pipes, ax handles, whatever we could find and kept him there until the police arrived.”

Whiteeagle however, has little confidence in the police. “They are mainly interested in observing their protocol, making arrests, getting people to press charges; we, the mothers, are interested in helping our daughters,” she said. “It’s the moccasins on the ground that will save our people, that and our spirituality.” summer season, where they hope to bring in more families and staff that can benefit and enrich their lives in a welcoming and accepting environment. To learn more or get involved, visit campfirecolumbia.org.

“We hope however they get here, wherever they are from, that kids just get to be kids at our camp,” says Trystan Reese of this upcoming season. “It’s an experience that will last them for their rest of their lives.”

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APRIL/MAY 2016 • 25

GLAPN

GLAPN

FEATURE FEATURE VOICES

WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE?

By Suzanne Deakins

Dykes On Bikes®

Portland Chapter fundraiser

Bingo Tuesday!

1st Tuesdays 6pm-9pm EVERY MONTH!

Join us at: CRUSH 1400 SE Morrison St, Portland, OR 97214 Come play Bingo with the Dykes on Bikes at CRUSH! -The first Bingo card is FREECRUSH is a gay owned and operated, restaurant/bar/event space that welcomes everyone, hosting a broad clientele of neighborhood friends and travelers... with a full gourmet menu as well as snack and appetizers, with daily specials and a full cocktail menu including some of our nearly world famous drink recipes!

Come enjoy a great evening every 1st Tuesday!

Motorcycle parking right out front!

DykesOnBikesPortland.com Please email Secretary@DykesOnBikesPortland.com to get on mailing list 26 • APRIL/MAY 2016

RIDE LOUD & PROUD WITH US!

There have been several events in my life that left me feeling devastated. Hurtful events, prejudice, lost lovers, and unemployment, you name it we all have suffered in some manner. We can’t judge another’s suffering based on our own. Each of us faces our demons and pains according to our experience.

Victor Frankl talked about the need for passionate love and a purpose beyond our self that creates meaning and purpose in our life. Out of each experience, we can glean the wheat or we allow the shaft of the wheat to spoil our life. We alone give meaning to our world. No matter what has happened to us, it is you, me, and us that create our world. We don’t cause the happening, but it is our attitude, our willingness to learn that shapes all life. Frankl said that these two ideas love and purpose beyond self, is what kept him sane and many others during the Holocaust.

I write this because it is the clue to the women who have strived to make our community a safer and better place for us all.

I asked what makes a woman put herself on the line and risk pain and suffering for others? What causes her to be a hero and then fade into the shadows? In the time of war and strife we know the women’s names that have changed and created a better world. Once the contention is over, we often forget these women. We ignore them because we don’t understand the feminine strength and resolve it plays in history. History, for the most part, has

become HIS Story rather than their story.

Most of us are heroes and leaders be it for one person or a country. It is only when we recognize this strength, this innate leadership in us all that we are free to be, to exist. Women are not heroes because they are stupid or unaware of the issues. They become heroes because the desire to see love, justice, and purpose is overwhelming. They find no use is sitting idly by while others take up the cause.

When we look at our life and realize that until we are all free, all of us remain in a jail a prison of gender and prejudice a great cry rises in the breast of all women. A woman is not a woman because of her gender, it is her actions, her ability to love unconditionally, crave justice and equality for all that is feminine energy.

Electing women to a leadership position is not about their gender; it is about their energy and their ability to be heroes, their ability to bring this energy to the core of our community. Anytime we deny freedom on any grounds to another we deny it to us all. It is important to our community that we recognize heroes no matter what their gender. It is important that all of us have the freedom to express our soul.

Without these heroes, we all live in an unrealized reality. Never reaching an extraordinary moment of love and meaning in our life.

The women heroes of our community are too many to list here, but many can be found among GLAPN’s Queer Heroes NW at http://glapn.org/9060QueerHeroesMain. html.

GLAPN INVITING NOMINATIONS FOR QUEER HEROES NW 2016 George T. Nicola

Nominations for Queer Heroes NW close on April 30, as GLAPN, the Pacific Northwest LGBTQ history group, begins their fifth annual look at the bright spots in our community.

GLAPN will once again announce a Queer Hero for every day of June 2016 in celebration of Pride Month.

Queer Heroes are nominated from our community. (Check http:// glapn.org/ to see who has been honored in the past.) The nominee should not be a

past winner, nor should they be currently in elected or high level appointed public office. Other than that, anyone in the Pacific Northwest, living or dead, straight cis ally or LGBTQ, is eligible. So are organizations, though preference tends to be for individuals or small groups of individuals.

A Queer Hero could be a community superstar or a humble volunteer who shows up without fail. If they have made things better for or somehow improved the lives of LGBTQ people, we want to hear about them.

Please nominate online by April 30 at http://glapn.org/queer-heroes-nw/. We look forward to hearing from you! pqmonthly.com

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