PQ Monthly December/January 2015 Edition

INSIDE: 2015: A BANNER YEAR TO BE QUEER WHEN A DIRTY QUEER DEVIATES FINDING LEO IN PORTLAND, BLACK FEMME LIVES MATTER AND MORE!

PORTLAND

PHOTO BY DAX MCMILLAN

Cascade AIDS Project 2016 and Beyond

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Vol.3 No.12 Dec/Jan 2015 -2016

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WELCOME TO THE STARTING LINE! “There are so many words to open with, in the final edition of PQ for the year”, I tell myself as I take a deep breath to string the following together.

2015, it flew by! Where did it even begin, and where did it go. We are all asking ourselves, some still recouping from the 2014 election hangover, and many yet to feel it affects. Anyhow, all impending doom aside, 2015 will go down in history as the year the United States Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage. Und wie! I think every queer in America can recall exactly where they were on June 26th, 2015.

I was with Dykes on Bikes® Portland Chapter. We had been traveling to ride with our mother chapter in the 45th San Francisco Pride Parade. That does not, however, explain where we were at that historic moment. We had an unfortunate accident much earlier that morning. Two of our riders laid the bike they had been riding, thankfully they were travelling at low speed nonetheless, one traveler required medical care for a broken arm that had resulted from the accident.

So in between little towns and majestic views, the entire caravan of black leather wearing, motorcycle roaring, gender queer cornucopia find ourselves piled into an emergency room just outside of Weed, California. While we were waiting for the results of the x-ray, our injured friend laying in the hospital bed, enjoying the benefits of Western pain medicine propped up their good arm and began reading to us the ruling as it came in from their device. We heard those words Justice Anthony M. Kennedy wrote: “No longer may this liberty be denied”, and we cheered, hugged, cried, some tried to get the nurses number, or that may have been the other way around – either way joy filled the ER. After that catching our breath, receiving a fairing good prognosis, smoking the obligatory cigar, and being released, we realized we still had about 280 miles to go. Regardless, your Dykes on Bikes® Portland Chapter mounted their bikes, fired up the engines, and with even more pride we rode off to San Francisco for this epic celebration.

While exploring the memories this year afforded, I reflect on that one most often. By the time we arrived in San Francisco, it was full throttle PRIDE Celebration everywhere. It’s estimated that over 1 million people attended. The city streets filled with music, and dancing, as far as the eye could see… of course, the crowds would start singing along when the DJ’s would play ‘Same Love’.

Imagine hearing that number of people chanting those words from Macklemore, Ryan Lewis song featuring May Lambert: “…And a certificate on paper isn’t gonna solve it all, but it’s a damn good place to start! No law is gonna change us.

We have to change us!”

That’s where I was, and that’s where I feel we are. At the start.

Now that we, well better stated: Now that gay and lesbian United States Citizens are viewed as equal in the eyes of the law as it relates to marriage, we can focus on healing the divisive issues that have wedges us apart. We need to reassure, and humbly maintain the broad spectrum of relationships that we established to achieve this victory over the many decades. We have to join our brothers and sisters who have been in the trenches fighting Anti-Discrimination Laws, hate crimes, mental health, gun control, homelessness, immigration reform, gender equality, equity, women and trans health rights, all along. We are far from free and even further from being equal!

So welcome to the starting line, everyone. The bad news is, 2016 has its sights locked and loaded on our freedoms, and liberties. However, if every letter and every color stand together, united justice will prevail.

On behalf of the entire Brilliant Media Team, we thank you for trusting us with your story. We wish you love, peace, and happiness always…

Melanie Davis Publisher – Owner Brilliant Media llc. dba El Hispanic News – Su Público – PQ (PDX, SEA, SFO) – Tankside

A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:

Photographer

Nestor Miranda Photographer

Columnists &contributors

ON THE COVER

Sossity Chiricuzio, Samantha L. Taylor, Michael James Schneider, Leo Bancroft, Summer Seasons, Marco Davis, Kathryn Martini, Sally Mulligan, Katey Pants, Queer Intersections

I had a dream and other adventures on the coast...........................Page 9 The Future of Cascade AIDS Project................................................... Page 12 PABA Wins Spirit of Portland Award...................................................... Page 13 2015: A banner year to be queer........................................................ Page 14 When A Dirty Queer Deviates.............................................................. Page 18

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Christmas wishes do come true! Wrapping up a year of soccer!... Page 22 In Portland, Black Femme Lives Matter.............................................. Page 25

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The Secret Life of Summer Seasons.................................................... Page 29

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Cascade AIDS Project dedicated 2015 to celebrating 30+ years of serving people living with or affected by HIV. At its helm, Tyler TerMeer shares his accomplishments since accepting the role as the 9th Executive Director to serve this organization and its community.

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FEATURE

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NEWS FEATURE

I HAD A DREAM AND OTHER ADVENTURES ON THE COAST

By Marco Davis, PQ Monthly Coastal Correspondent

“I was at work, sitting on the toilet, thinking that in just another week it will be the second longest I’ve ever dated anyone, 4 months. I’m 46. The phone rings, my man, that was what his caller id was. I am a romantic. He broke up with me over the phone while I was on the toilet. I just flushed it away, cleaned up and got on with the day.” #daylightcums #dragalution I had decided, actually my body did first, last January that I was going to give myself a break from everything and just rest and heal. I have been going non-stop my whole life; I just can’t help it, I have boundless energy and I’m full of crazy ideas I always manage to bring to life. As I’ve been reflecting on the year, I had a memory pop into my head of a dream I had back in 96 (which was also an incredible year for me).

The dream: I am in the doctors office waiting for him to look at the wart on my left big toe. It was causing me incredible pain and keeping me from being able to move around and live my life. The doctor was exquisite looking, I do have a very active imagination and dream life, and so attentive as he was examining my left big toe. He looks at me with his big beautiful blue eyes and says, “ Mr. Davis, you don’t have a wart on your left big toe, your drain is just clogged.”

I stare at him blankly. He nods and all of a sudden we are standing inside my left big toe, only it is a utility room that is bare except for a big drain in the center of the room. He hands me a big plunger and I start plunging. What the hell am I doing? Plunging a drain in a room in my left big toe?

The ground began to shake. A deep r umble star ted its escape from some place deep within me. The plunger was knocked out of my hand from the violence in the room. A longtime customer from the Columbian Cafe is standing in the doorway criticizing me, telling me I’m doing it wrong just like I do with everything.

Just badgering me. As he is going off, the clog erupts knocking me down and splattering my waste all over his face and chest knocking him out into the street.

I scramble out of he room to see if he was fine. What I find, is that I am standing on an old cobblestone street in Europe, but all the people there are all people I know from all of the worlds I keep separate in my waking life.

Another explosion and glitter and gold dust poof out of the room and what follows are all of my designs of cos-

tumes, dances I’ve choreographed in my mind. Visions of food, me as a fool, as a queen, words I have written, songs I have sung in my soul but never shared; all these things floating out the door and down the street for all to see like the floats in a parade. People are looking, confused as to what is happening and I’m scrambling around nervous about all my dreams being seen, and totally relieved at the same time.

I remember waking sweaty and out of breath and knowing that I had unlocked something deep within me. I started living my life a bit truer after that.

This full memory got triggered as I was having a pedicure the other day and as the gold polish that I have had on my toes for months was removed, I was horrified to see I had nail fungus on my left big toe! Guess I should remove my polish more frequently.

I’ve just needed the gold polish so much! It has been one of those years. I’ve been laid up and missed so much work and life that the polish made me happy as I would by laying on the couch, or on the floor, in between episodes of anything that would distract me from the pain. That polish gave me hope for a better day.

I really did have a lot of good days this past year. I mean, for taking a year off to heal. I managed to throw 2 drag me out dance parties at the Astoria Arts and Movement Center, host 3 other dances there, do multiple farm food experiences out on 46 North Farm. Cook dinner for 70 for the Farm to Fork cooking class I did with the with the Astoria Coop and Columbia Memorial Hospital. Throw my big DRAGALUTION show in August; become Chair of our newly formed Lower Columbia Q Center, host monthly gay skate nights, organize the first Sunday in the Park with Art: a hike art experience at Fort Clatsop National Historical Park, and try dating again!

Dating and I are just such a strange thing. I’m sure it has to be me. I think I’m just too freaky. Others say I’m ‘intimI HAD A DREAM page 11

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I HAD A DREAM Continued from page 9

idating’... I don’t know.

I had taken a 7-year break from dating, I do that. And it seems like every 7 years I give the old dating thing a try.. This one was interesting. He had contacted me via Facebook. He had seen Dragalution last year and was curious about if I was doing it again. I mentioned the drag it out dance party I was doing instead. These came about because I do a big show for my birthday at the end of January and since I wasn’t doing that I thought I’d host a big dance party and do a few numbers too; I just never quit.

I told him if he came to introduce himself. He did and he did. He was adorable and so meek and innocent. I was in a state. I was in the middle of a gout attack and having to be dressed up and not have my heels on annoyed me more than anything. I have my standards and I was unable to meet them.

Because of that, and the fact I was hosting the party, I didn’t get to actually feel him out.

I reached out to him after the party asking if he would like to meet up for a drink. Our first date was at the Voodoo Room, my second home. He was even more handsome than I had recalled. Turns out he was new to everything. Bisexual and curious. Had never done anything with a man before.

I did something not typical of Marco on a date, I took it easy and wasn’t too aggressive (wink), by aggressive I mean I tried not to go into any long winded monologs. It happens when I’m nervous, I also fidget with things (we call it sugar bowling at my house), and my eyes roll back in my head from time to time as I force the breaks on my energetic soul.

We still made out, but it wasn’t in the bar; it was in the street.

It went on like this for awhile; he would come up to Astoria on the weekends and we would explore. It was a first for me; he was into me. I mean he really liked to study me!!

And he always held my hand, which was so sweet. I could t believe how utterly happy I was! It was happening. I was falling in love.

I was at work, sitting on the toilet, thinking that in just another week it will be the second longest I’ve ever dated anyone, 4 months. I’m 46. The phone rings, my man, that was what his caller ID was. I am a romantic. He broke up with me over the phone while I was on the toilet. I just flushed it all away, cleaned up and got on with the day.

I was bummed but not destroyed. I had prepared myself for this from the getgo. That actually caused me to be more involved in the relationship. He helped me see myself for the first time since ‘96. I appreciate him for that.

VOICES My dad said,” I knew he wouldn’t last, he was so jealous of all the attention you get and give in the community.” He went on,” we can’t help it, we are a huggable and loving family.” Ain’t that the truth.

We are known for our hugs. That, and always being ready to pose for a photo. I’m just repeating what I’ve been told. In all honesty, hugs are my favorite part of my day. How many hugs do you partake in on a daily basis? That heart to heart moment is so important. I probably give no less than 10 a day, and most days it’s probably closer to 30, just depends on if I’m visible or flying under the radar. A skill I have developed over the past few years. I love being able to make it through town without anyone seeing me, and that is a feat for me.

I say all this as I realize how public my life has been this year. I believe it feels like that especially since I have been so open and honest about my struggles this year. I let people see me while I was down as well as while I was floating on cloud nine. I just let all of me be seen. And I feel good about it.

I find that all of my relationships are much more honest and open and that I have discovered a deeper level of love and support from this community but also from myself, which is something I have never done.

The place I felt that the most was putting on ‘Sunday in the Park with Art’ in September. I have been doing a hike out at Fort Clatsop, the Kwis Kwis trail. It is a nice 2 mile loop and ever since the first time I hiked it, the path and the energy within it spoke to me. I saw the most incredible art hike experience happening. I dreamt of it for 3 years and asked a couple of park rangers, one evening in the Voodoo Room if something like that could happen out there and they said yes and we made it happen. It was one of the most incredible moments in my life. Seeing my vision come to life; having my friends and family join me in the forest to create this experience to share with our community. I was moved to tears more times than I care to mention. Seeing the joy on my mother’s face as she practically skipped through. Seeing families out there, many dressed in costumes and ready to embrace the magic. They saw the unicorn too and the goddess dancing on the mountain top. They felt the spirit of the forest and the love we all created in that space. As one friend mentioned,” I see the ghosts of that day when I walk the trail now.” I know what she means. I do too.

And now, the end is near; closing in on this year I have a heart that is so full and energy that is bursting and patience to guide me through. I love that I will be on stage as one-year closes and another begins surrounded by family and friends doing what I do best, living fully and bringing the party!!

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FEATURE

THE FUTURE OF CASCADE AIDS PROJECT

By Melanie Davis

556 syphilis tests administered by CAP. 3,510 youth engaged in educational conversations about Thirty years ago Rock Hudson died of AIDS. The pass- healthy sexuality. ing of this famous person helped increases public aware71 Speakers Bureau presentations educated 2,804 ness of the disease considerably. However, our world was people and raised awareness of HIV/AIDS. not prepared for the tsunami of souls this epidemic would, 863 calls and 7,202 online visitors sought information and sadly continue to claim. However, many organizers in through the Oregon HIV/STD Hotline. the early 80’s sensed what was ahead and in Oregon started 4,625 gay and bisexual men—a third of whom were two main organizations that provided HIV-related ser- people of color—visited Pivot for 130 social and 113 eduvices to the Portland area community. CHESS (Commu- cational events. nity Health and Essential Support Services), who provided Amount of Housing & Support Services Provided by CAP: one-on-one emotional support, and Cascade AIDS Proj$1,177,808 went directly to 804 individual households ect (CAP), who provided education to for rent, utilities, and emergency gay/bisexual men. Their merger in 1983 assistance. consolidated HIV-related services and 2,292 people received some prevented competition for very limtype of support services, includited resources thereby strengthening ing housing, employment counits organizational impact in the midst seling, referrals, and continuing of this epidemic. education.

12,529 people died from AIDS along 60 people living with HIV took with Rock Hudson in 1985 and there part in three events and monthly were 15,527 cases of AIDS reported. educational outreach for Positive That was the same year CAP was legally Force, a group by and for HIV posincorporated and like most startups, itive people. it was a barebones operation, consist115 people received employing of an executive director and a PAL ment counseling and assistance (Personal Active Listener) program through Working Choices, 37 of coordinator. These two staff memwhom got jobs. bers were assisted by volunteers and a 37 Latinos and African Amer21-member volunteer board of direcicans with significant needs took tors. The total agency budget was less part in the Minority AIDS Initiathan $100,000. Brown MacDonald was tive, 96% of whom CAP engaged the Executive Director of the organizain medical care. tion during this time.

103 at-risk people living with Flash forward 30 years to presHIV received navigation services ent day and 1.2 million people in the to help them access and manage United States are living with HIV care from CareLink or related proCirca 1988, Tri-Met removes CAP’s display advertising from all of its infection, and almost 1 in 8 (12.8%) grams. buses in the face of public controversy. The issue is whether CAP is are unaware of their infection. CasHIV-impacted families, includproviding AIDS prevention or promoting gay lifestyles and behaviors. cade AIDS Project is now the oldest ing 110 adults and 71 children, and largest community-based protook part in our educational, supvider of HIV services, housing, education, and advocacy in portive, and community-building Kids Connection proOregon and Southwest Washington. Now with an annual grams. 43 children attended Camp KC, a weeklong sleepbudget of almost $6 million and nearly $5.6 million going away camp at the Oregon Coast. into critical programs like prevention, education, housAnd at the helm organization is Executive Director Tyler ing, and support.

TerMeer the next generation visionary for CAP. He is the If you have every asked yourself what does Cascade AIDS ninth person to serve as ED for this non-profit since its Project do in a year, here is your answer: inception thirty years ago and took the role on July 16th, Prevention & Education Provided by CAP: 2016. We first wrote about in PQ Monthly’s May 2014 Edi3,543 HIV testing and counseling sessions have been tion. Just sweet sixteen months later, and Mr. TerMeer had provided. settled in Portland with his loving fiancé Tim Montgom-

ery and the active role the ED plays in the community of the Northwest.

Upon arrival TerMeer immediately began engaging with the community, and expanding Cascade AIDS Projects organizational reach or impact into communities that are disproportionately affected by HIV. In doing so, he noted the next essential step would be to launch a Health Equity Initiative. In doing that CAP has also initiated a mini-grant projects targeting underserved populations that may not qualify for federal funding, he says. Some of these grants have helped improve testing in the African American communities of faith and added a Latino lifeline program. Cascade AIDS Project has also partnered with the sex workers coalition and help provide much-needed resources like home HIV test kits, and hygiene kits.

TerMeer has also been highly focused on increasing the organizational capacity of CAP, and re-evaluating where agency stands in light of changing funding landscape.

When asked about this TerMeer said, “People who are HIV positive are living long healthy lives now, so we are having to address the rapidly changing health concerns with the HIV positive aging population, diverse communities, and youth.”

“In looking over the next 30 years, it means we greatly need to expand our donor community because federal funding for HIV/AIDS is continuing to diminish, and the diverse needs of our community continue to grow rapidly. Cascade AIDS Project is ready to evolve with both a strategic and business plan in place, we affirm that as we broaden and diversify the health services provided by CAP, we stay true to serving the needs of the Queer community of Oregon and SW Washington.” Added TerMeer.

TerMeer and his team at CAP have also completed a community survey basically asking if an LGBTQ specific medical clinic is needed. Immediately they learned based on the study, that because of the unique health needs of the LGBTQ community all signs point to yes, and a strong yes at that. Which means no big announcement at this time from Mr. TerMeer about CAP. However, he does says that they are already testing the idea with their business mentors, donor base, and community partners. In conclusion, it’s fair to say that both Tyler TerMeer and Cascade ADIS Project are ready, and gearing up for what seems to be and equally incredible 2016, and have set in place the systems to ensure another successful 30 years.

CAP is one of the oldest and largest organizations of its kind in the nation and leads the fight in stopping the spread of HIV. CAP leadership is well-respected and represents the diversity of the community we serve. To make a tax-deductible donation to this 501-c-3 non-profit organization, please go to www.cascadeaids.org/take-action/donate

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FEATURES GLAPN

PABA WINS SPIRIT OF PORTLAND AWARD

George T. Nicola

The Spirit of Portland Awards “recognize local individuals and organizations who have demonstrated outstanding dedication to positive change in our community. Award winners are those who have not only worked to improve the community but who have also gone above and beyond a dedication to civic engagement to make a lasting impact.”

The 2015 awards were presented at Portland City Hall on November 17. Among the recipients was the Portland Area Business Association (PABA). PABA is only the second LGBTQ organization to win this distinguished award in its 31-year history.

While advances are being made to ensure equal opportunity for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people,

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LGBTQ Portlanders may still face employment discrimination. One way they can counter this is to start their own businesses.

PABA (the Portland Area Business Association) was founded in 1992 to help local LGBTQ and straight ally enterprises with business development. PABA offers a range of programs including monthly meetings for education, professional advancement, and networking. While these employers welcome other LGBTQ people, their hiring practices are based on full equal opportunity.

PABA has made it a priority to build stronger community ties and collaborate with other area business associations, and proud to work with other minority chambers.

PABA can be an inspiration to LGBTQ young people by demonstrating how they can take control of their own futures. The organization has sponsored numerous programs that help LGBTQ youth explore their personal entrepreneurial interests.

In the process of facilitating the success of its member businesses, PABA creates more jobs for Portlanders of all identities and contributes considerably to Portland metro’s economic vitality.

A full list of this year’s Spirit of Portland Award winners can be found at http://www. portlandoregon.gov/oni/29024. For more details on PABA, please see the organization’s website at http://www.paba.com/.

DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016 • 13

FEATURE

2015: A BANNER YEAR TO BE QUEER

By Matt Pizzuti, PQ Monthly

2015 marked major milestones for LGBTQ Americans, but they came only after a long and arduous struggle for change. At the time of the Stonewall Riots, marriage equality was hardly yet even a dream for queer people, who sought merely the right to exist in American cities without fear of public shame and persecution from police-let alone was there any thought to what kind of battles would come after marriage equality was won.

Now, the LGBTQ community has not only achieved that goal but has become as much or more engaged in broader, coordinated struggle for justice--for immigration rights, for refugees, for gender diversity and for the Black Lives Matter movement against police brutality, a response to the high-profile stories of black Americans killed by police.

For decades following the AIDS crisis, the community shifted towards an overwhelming focus on legal recognition of same-sex relationships. There was growing critique from within parts of the community that the cause was disproportionately important to white, healthy, relatively privileged cisgender lesbian and gay couples. While others pointed out that gaining the fundamental rights and economic protections of marriage were an import-

ant step in addressing LGBTQ poverty, access to healthcare, and other vital needs. But marriage was more than that; although legal marriage wasn’t personally relevant to every individual in the LGBTQ community. Over the last few decades a person’s position on “gay marriage” came to be seen as a litmus test of their support for LGBTQ people in general--an emotional symbolism suggesting whether LGBTQ people should be affirmed or devalued.

Stepping back, it’s remarkable how quickly things shifted. In 1996, a Pew poll found that 65 percent of Americans opposed granting lesbians and gays the right to marry, and in 2001 opposition was 57 percent. Conservative activists discovered in the early 2000s that putting a same-sex marriage ban on the ballot was an effective way to boost Evangelical turnout, and between 1998 and 2008, more than half of all states banned same-sex marriage that way in one punishing defeat after another.

But as Americans got to know LGBTQ people better in pop culture and as more of their friends and loved ones came out, their opinions changed. There were painful surprises: in 2008, the same year that Americans elected Barack Obama their president, voters in liberal California revoked the right for same-sex couples to marry. Yet by the time voters in Washington State stood up for marriage equality by a

54-46 margin in 2012, it was clear the tide was turning. In 2015, Pew found the national polling numbers had roughly reversed since 2001; 55 percent now supported marriage equality, to 39 percent opposed.

In January, federal judges across the country had already been taking cues from the United States Supreme Court’s 2013 decisions that struck down California’s Proposition 8 and the federal Defense of Marriage Act. Though the high court had not overtly stated whether same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry, many federal judges in lower courts across the country believed the 2013 decisions indicated as much and believed it was only a matter of time before the Supreme Court would rule on the issue.

Court decisions overturning state-level same-sex marriage bans came out at an accelerated rate starting in 2013, and by the end of 2014 more than two-thirds of states had pending pro-equality rulings or outright marriage equality.

2015 began with most LGBTQ activists waiting for the Supreme Court to act, and early in the year, it did.

January 16: the United States Supreme Court announces it will hear four same-sex marriage appeals cases in 2015, combining them into one case, Obergfell v. Hodges. Most court observers realize that this could be the case that resolves the issue of marriage equality in the United States for good.

February 5: Trans woman and former Army intelligence specialist Chelsea Manning, imprisoned for her role in the 2010 Wikileaks incident in which large amounts of classified information was released, wins the right to transition therapy while incarcerated.

February 13: Facing fast-developing ethics charges, 2015 | p age 15

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FEATURE

2015

Oregon Governor John Kitzhaber resigns from office. Secretary of Continued from page 14 State Kate Brown ascends to the governor’s office, becoming the first openly bisexual governor in U.S. history.

March 2015: A massive European study spanning 14 countries finds that no HIV-positive participants using HIV-suppressing drugs to achieve an undetectable viral load passed HIV to an HIV-negative partner, even through unprotected sex. The findings indicate that treating HIV-positive people with medication is an effective way to protect their sexual partners from acquiring the virus.

March 25: A national outcry erupts after Indiana Governor Mike Pence signs into law the Religious Freedom and Restoration Act, allowing individuals and companies to use religious beliefs as a defense for certain actions against LGBTQ people and others. Several major companies publicly threaten to withdraw their business from the state of Indiana, while several outside state governors and city mayors, including Washington Governor Jay Inslee and Portland Mayor Charlie Hales, ban public funds under their discretion from being used for travel to Indiana.

April 2: Indiana’s Republican-led legislature heeds nationwide protests by amending the Religious Freedom and Restoration Act to offer protections for LGBT people.

Also during this month, legislators in several other states abandon their attempts to enact legislation similar to the Religious Freedom and Restoration Act. April 28: The Supreme Court hears arguments on whether same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry. The widely-publicized hearing lasts about three hours, but a ruling won’t come out until late June.

June 2015: Former Olympian and reality TV star Caitlyn Jenner comes out as a transgender woman while appearing as the first trans person on the cover of Vanity Fair.

June 24: Jennicet Gutierrez, a Latina trans woman, and

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undocumented immigrant interrupts President Barack Obama speaking to a private audience at a White House Pride event to protest deportations. After being drowned out by the mostly-LGBTQ crowd at the event and removed from the room by security, Gutierrez explains her concern for trans women in immigration detention centers and states that she had not gone to the event planning to protest. The event provokes a debate within the LGBTQ community, but many people are supportive, pointing out Gutierrez’s success in drawing wider attention to the conditions trans people faced in deportation centers. The event foreshadows what types of political concerns will rise to the surface for the LGBTQ community in a post-marriage-equality America.

June 25: A New Jersey court rules unanimously that “ex-gay” conversion therapy should be considered fraud.

June 26: In a 5-4 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court rules that same-sex couples in all 50 states have the same right to marry as different-sex couples. Most jurisdictions comply immediately, and tens of thousands of same-sex couples across the country immediately obtain their marriage licenses.

July 2015: Kim Davis, a county clerk for Rowan County, Kentucky, who recently upon her fourth marriage became a born-again Christian, defies court orders by refusing to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Though she was not the only county officer in the U.S. to refuse to comply with the Supreme Court ruling, Davis gains national publicity as a symbol of the opposition to LGBTQ equality, and several prominent Republican presidential candidates speak out in her defense.

July 13: The Pentagon announces plans to create policies that would officially allow transgender people to serve openly in the military by early 2016. Unofficially, up to 15,000 trans people had already been serving openly since the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell in 2011.

July 27: The Boy Scouts of America lifts its ban on openly gay adult leaders.

August 4: When out gay director Roland Emmerich releases the theatrical trailer for the movie Stonewall, LGBTQ commentators immediately raise concerns that the story of a significant turning point in the modern LGBTQ rights movement has been “whitewashed.” The ensuing public debate furthers the suggestion that trans representation and intersectionality will be as is essential to a post-marriage-equality LGBTQ America as marriage equality was during the preceding 25 years.

August 25: Black Lives Matter holds a rally in Washington D.C. to protest violence against black trans women.

September 3: Rowan County, Kentucky County Clerk Kim Davis is sentenced to jail for defying the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling that required same-sex couples have access to marriage licenses. The next day, same-sex couples in the county begin receiving marriage licenses.

September 25: The film Stonewall is released in theaters and receives mostly poor reviews criticizing its script and its backseat portrayal of trans people and people of color.

The film earns less than $180,000 at the box office.

November 3: Voters in Houston reject an equal rights ordinance protecting LGBTQ people from discrimination after an anti-LGBTQ campaign seeks to provoke a fear that male sexual predators would pose as trans women to gain access to women’s’ restrooms. Meanwhile in deep-red Utah, Salt Lake City residents elect lesbian mayor Jackie Bickupski.

November 16: The Journal for the American Medical Association publishes results of a study finding that Truvada pre-exposure prophylaxis, a pill taken daily by an HIV-negative person to prevent transmission of HIV, is close to completely effective in blocking HIV infection when patients adhere to their daily regimen. The findings demonstrate that the medication is a transformative step in combatting the HIV epidemic in those who are most at risk, particularly trans women and gay men.

DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016 • 15

FEATURE GET OUT WEDDINGS

VOICES STYLE DECONSTRUCTED

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THURSDAY, DECEMBER 17

PQ Monthly December Press Party. The last PQ Press Party of 2015 comes back home to Scandals, celebrating the release of PQ Monthly’s year-in-review and another amazing year in LGBTQ Portland. Starting at 7 come support Peacock Productions and the Audria M Edwards Scholarship Foundation and buy a two-dollar ornament from The Giving Tree. Press Want more? We’ll give you Party is FREE. 5 p.m., Scaneverything. Head over to dals, 1125 SW Stark St. pqmonthly.com and check Death of Glitter dance party, theme: out our online calendar Noelle from hell. A genderf#ck cabaret of events, submit your own for a cause! Death of Glitter is a monthly events, and send photos for performance and dance night fundraiser your event. Also, remember to carefully examine our at Crush. Cover proceeds go to a differweekly weekend forecast — ent nonprofit each month. This month with the latest and greatest benefits supporting SAGE Metro Portevents — each Wednesday land, a program of Friendly House, which (sometimes Thursday), online is dedicated to improving the lives of only.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender --MATT PIZZUTI, CALENDAR older adults. Cover: $5-10 sliding scale.

EDITOR PQ MONTHLY 9 p.m. at Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

Queer Horror presents Shock Treatment! The Hollywood Theatre’s bimonthly Queer Horror program returns with this 1981 35mm film.

Hosted by Portland’s premier drag clown Carla Rossi, this shockingly underrated and little-known sequel to Rocky Horror Picture Show sequel. $8, 7 p.m., Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd.

GET

OUT!

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EVERY SUNDAY

Drag Brunch: Testify at Stag with Alexis Campbell Starr. From 11 a.m. until 3 p.m. every Sunday, Ms. Starr brings you the city’s hottest drag performers, drink specials (5 for $5 mimosas, $5 American Harvest Bloody Marys), and tasty brunch—all in the city’s hottest new bar. Be there promptly at 11, children. Ms. Starr demands it; and she brings so many guests. Stag, 317 NW Broadway.

Samuel’s Hangover Happy Hour.

Bloody Marys, friends, food, beats by Art of Hot and guests.

It is an excellent recovery scenario. Mingle with queers in a very chill setting. 2 p.m.-7 p.m., Euphoria, 315 SE Third. Free.

Superstar Divas. Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Topaz Crawford, Isaiah Tillman, and guest stars perform your favorite pop, Broadway, R&B, rock, and country hits.

Dance floor opens after the show. Check out the newest and freshest Diva hits, plus a variety of diverse talent. 8 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free!

DANCE

IT OUT

EVERY MONDAY

Family Home Evening. A weekly, post-work lounge party every Monday night at Vault, featuring DJ Orographic (Bridge Club, Queerlandia) and occasional special guests (Sappho fills in now and then).

Jens Irish serves you happy hour all the live long night. 7 p.m.-11 p.m., Vault, 226 NW 12.

16 • DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 18

LGBTQ Youth Holiday Celebration. Join Pride Northwest for a celebration at the Q Center with food, non-alcoholic drinks and community. 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. at 4115 N. Mississippi Ave. Pulsar presents Shake the Halls 5. A youth-friendly dance party with a dance stage for ages 16+ and a 21+ area with full bar. Free Viso for all attendees. Featuring DJs Eliminate, Deformaty, Strive, ZFG, Alex Lightspeed, KU$H (formerly the Chronic Illiness), Prophaze, B0UNC3 B0YZ (DJ IDK,J3LLY B0X), Xannarra and more. 7 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. $20 admission.

Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 19

Vespertine Winter Ball. Celebrate the coming winter solstice with industrial music, food and performances. The Vespertine Ball is an elegant, sophisticated white winter formal/costume ball fostering individual creativity for those that wish to be in costume. Featuring, Gothic/Industrial music, professionally catered food, photography and a grand live performance honoring the turn of the seasons and the Solstice. No street clothes, white/silver/blue attire encouraged. 21+, $30-45. The Melody Ballroom, in the Lower Ballroom & Lounge.

615 SE Alder St.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 20 Winter Solstice Party. Join the greater In Other Words family for a fun, festive, feminist night with a community altar, music, food, and

EVERY WEDNESDAY

Amateur night at Stag PDX, though they won’t look like amateurs, trust. Hosted by Godiva Devyne, come gawk at the pretty dancers.

And talk some shit with the Devyne Ms. G. 9 p.m., Stag PDX, 317 NW Broadway.

EVERY THURSDAY

Hip Hop Heaven. Bolivia Carmichaels hosts this hip-hop-heavy soiree night every Thursday night at CCs. Midnight guest performers and shows. Remember those midnight shows at The City? Bolivia does! 9 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free.

FIRST SATURDAYS

Sugar Town. DJ Action Slacks.

Keywords: Soul, polyester.

Great place to find the ladies, to mingle, to get your groove on.

9 p.m., The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42. $5.

Pop Rocks! 80s music aficionado DJ Matt Consola (Bearracuda) is hosting a very special 80s anthem night at Euphoria Nightclub. The space will be enhanced with an 80s theme featuring dancers, games and an official Dungeons & Dragons Gaming Table, visuals, rad 80s movies, drink specials, a photo booth, coat check and special guest DJs. 10 p.m., Euphoria, 315 SE 3. No cover.

SECOND TUESDAYS

Bi Bar—every second Tuesday at Crush, and it’s an open, bi-affirming space for music and mingling. Correction: Bi/Pan/Fluid/ Queer. 8 p.m., Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

crafts: all of the magic of the holidays without the capitalism and patriarchy, and with some of the old witchery added back in! Taro readings will be available from Feral Tarot, music from Sweeping Exits and the Ragshackers. Suggested $3-5 donation. 5 p.m. at Other Words, 15 NE Killingsworth st.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 21

Rock and Roll Flea Market. Shop vintage and retro goods while sipping fine spirits. Rock out to The Reverberations after the vend have packed up. 5 p.m. till 11 p.m. at Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E. Burnside St. Friday, December 25 Club Kai-Kai Xmas Edition. Too addicted to glamour to stay home on Christmas? Dance through the night with the que and kweens at Kai-Kai. Featuring Monikkie (SEA), Gu Delgatto, Aphasia, Menorah and Stacy Stl Lisa. Door at 8 p.m. Cover $6, or $4 with a donation of unopen makeup for queer youth at SMYRC. Party at Lovecra 421 SE Grand Ave.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 28

POWMonthly film series features Young Lakota. POWMonthly is a series dedicated to showcasing films directed by women. It provides year-round visibility to the wide range of high quality, thought-provoking films women create, and often gives audiences an opportunity interact with the filmmakers. Young Lakota is a uniquely sensitive portrayal of young people finding their way on South Dakota’s Pine Ridge Reservation. There will be a panel discussion after the film. Doors at 6 p.m., $5-10 sliding scale. Clinton St. Theater 2522 SE Clinton St.

SECOND FRIDAYS

Slo Jams is a Queer Modern R&B & Neo Soul Dance Night at Local Lounge. DJ II TRILL (TWERK) and DJ MEXXX-TAPE lay dow everything from Mary J // Jagged Edge// Keyshia to Badu//Laury Etc. 10 p.m., Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.

SECOND SATURDAYS

Hot Flash: Inferno. (Second and Fourth Saturdays) In the heart of Portland is where the women are—dancing the night away and burning up dance floors the second and fourth Saturdays of every month at Trio. Welcoming all women, queers, and their allies.

DJ Lauren joins Wildfire, and this night featur dancers from up and down the I-5 corridor. 6 p.m.-10 p.m., Trio, 909 E. Burnside.

THIRD MONDAYS

Bump, grind and crash into your favorite queer friends at Gay Skat Look for our publisher, who’s always handing out copies of PQ. And, you know, you’ll probably get a date. Every CALENDAR SP third Monday. Food drive for Take Action Inc. 7 p.m., Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way. $6.

THIRD WEDNESDAYS

Comedy at Crush: Belinda Carroll and a slew of locals rustle up some funny.

Special guests, and Crush’s signature cocktail and food menus. Donations, sliding scale. (Comics have to eat and pqmonthly.com

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THURSDAY, DECEMBER 31

NEW YEARS EVE EVENTS Stranger Disco presents Dune Rave. Get your house in order, take your space, luxuriate in the water of life. Era Rubin, Stormy Roxx, Sappho, performances by Kajanne and friends. $10, 21+. 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. at Service, 2319 NE Glisan St. Lavish, a New Year’s Eve Celebration at Scandals. Hosted by Danie Ward. We clear the stage, bring in a band, and ask you to be the Star.

Practice each Tuesday in December from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. with dj Suzanne to make sure you are ready to rock us into 2016! 1125 SW Stark St. Darcelle’s 48th New Year’s Eve Celebration. Ring in the New Year with Darcelle XV and company. Includes legendary entertainment with special guests from throughout the Northwest, a champagne toast and midnight breakfast buffet. $45, 7:30 p.m., 208 NW 3rd Ave. Platinum Ball at CC Slaughters. Celebrate the new year in style at the Platinum Ball. Doors open at 9 p.m., 219 NW Davis St. “Eff You 2015” at Crush. DJs, dancing, drink specials, and champagne toast & balloon drop at midnight. $3 cover after 9 p.m.

1400 SE Morrison St. Lumbertwink New Year’s Eve. Pull on your plaid and flaunt your flannel for Lumbertwink’s third annual New Year’s Eve party in Portland, now with the option of advance tickets available online (for guaranteed admission and a shorter line) and proper lumber go-go dancers at the party. Hosted by Matt Bearracuda with a photo booth by Wayne Bund Photography and DJs Orographic and Pocket Rock-It. $8. Starts at 9 p.m. at Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave. Inspire Truth 2016. You are invited to dance and rejoice: a stunning, art-filled and transformative environment will inspire joyful celebration and the danciest dance music in the galaxy. Three stages, two drink, too, so give!) 9 p.m., Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

Queens of the Night: Alexis Campbell Starr. That’s all you need to know. But there’s more: she always welcomes a special slew of talented queens for a night that takes Hip-Hop from beginning to end.

8 p.m., Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. Free.

THIRD THURSDAYS

Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-the-day language, music, and elegance. An ease-youinto-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys make the music. Bridge and tunnel patrons have no idea what to do with us when we pour in. Hint: it’s always the Thursday we go to press. What serendipitous fortune! 10 p.m., Vault, 226 NW 12. Free.

THIRD SATURDAYS

Burlescape! Burlesque & boylesque wrapped in a taste of tease! Zora Phoenix, Isaiah Esquire, Tod Alan. (And there’s more than that, kids.) Zora is a treat and a treasure—and so are her te. shows. Try one out! 9 p.m., Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. $10.

We’re featuring all of Zora’s events online, so get on the net.

Gaycation: DJ Charming always welcomes PONSORED BY special guests—and here you’ll find everything lesbian, gay, and in between.

Be early so you can actually get a drink.

Sweaty deliciousness, hottest babes. THE party. Yes, boys, even you can hit on Mr. Charming. We know you want to. 9 p.m., Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5.

Undergear: Eagle Portland’s monthly underwear, jock, mankini, etc., fetish party every third Saturday.

Free if you arrive before 9 p.m. or if you pqmonthly.com

lounges, and many interactive environments will all build a futuristic setting for the celebration. $99-108. Info/Tickets online at http:// nye-inspire.me. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 15

Housing Justice Rally and March. Portland Tenants United is organizing a public protest to call for solutions to control Portland rent costs and end housing discrimination.

“We are hoping that our rally and march is an opportunity to join our voices together with those of unions, faith communities, and other housing and social justice organizations in order to create awareness and demand change. Come stand with Portland’s tenants as they fight for equity and housing stability.” March starts at 5:30 p.m., rally at 4:30 at Portland City Hall, 1220 SW 5th Ave.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 16

Lily Tomlin performs at Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. One of America’s foremost comediennes, she’ll take you on a howlingly funny trip with more than a dozen of her timeless characters – from Ernestine to Sister Boogie Woman, Mrs. Beasley to Edith Ann. One night only.

And what a night it’ll be! Info/tickets at tickets.orsymphony/org. 7:30 p.m., 1037 SW Broadway.

Sharon Needles Live Revue. “With the look of a cover model and the soul of a shoe, she lives everyday as if it were Halloween—or her last.” $18-35, 21+. 10:30 p.m. at Dante’s, 350 W. Burnside St.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 21

PQ Monthly January Press Party. Come meet your PQ Monthly staff and celebrate the January/February edition. Free. 5 p.m. at Vault.

226 NW 12th Ave.

use free clothes check upon entry after. After 9 p.m. arrivals who do not check clothes must pay $5 entry. Clothes check and raffle prize provided by Cub Cleaners. Eagle Portland, 835 N. Lombard.

FOURTH FRIDAYS

Twerk. (Twerk has moved venues!) DJs ILL Camino and II Trill.

Keywords: bring your twerk. The city’s longest-running queer hip hop/R&B party—where artists, deejays, performers come to mix, mingle, and move on the dance floor. We promise you you’ll move all night long. 10 p.m., Killingsworth Dynasty, 832 N Killingsworth. $5.

FOURTH SATURDAYS

Blow Pony. Two giant floors. Wide variety of music, plenty of room for dancing. Rowdy, crowdy, sweaty betty, the one tried and true, even after all these years. 9 p.m., Euphoria, 315 SE 3. $5.

Judy on Duty. Lesbian hardcore. Judys, Judes, and cool ass freaks. Dance it out. DJ Troubled Youth. Organized by Ana Margarita and Megan Holmes. 10 p.m., High Mark Water Lounge, 6800 NE MLK.

LAST SUNDAYS

Sabbathhause Discotheque, gay night is back at Aalto lounge and it is bigger and more queer than ever before.

Featuring some of the best deejays and performers around and hosted by night hawk Chanticleer Tru. 8 p.m., Aalto Lounge, 3356 SE Belmont.

3

WEDDINGS FEATURES VOICES GET OUT THE BRILLIANT LIST

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 19

Inferno’s Ugly Sweater Party!

A private party for women and the trans community: Now that you’ve swapped your summer wardrobe for your winter clothes, you can finally bust out that ugly sweater we know you love to wear! Dapper D will also be on hand with a pop up shop for all your holiday shopping needs. Featuring DJ Wildfire. Cover $8, 7 p.m. to 1 a.m. at Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E. Burnside.

PQ PICKS

SATURDAY, JANUARY 2

Hard Yes presents Yes Please! Keep the New Year’s weekend rolling and set the tone for 2016 with a Saturday dance party at Holocene. Yes Please is an all queer all-gender dance party put on by Hard Yes, a collaboration between DJ Sappho and Dillon Martin. Sounds range from house, garage, techno and hard disco.

A friendly, flirty, uninhibited night for queers and friends who wanna meet new people, express themselves and DANCE. Hard Yes often features local and out of town performances. Act right, party safe, and feel your funk.

Performance by House of Ada, DJs Pocket Rocket, Hold my Hand and Sappho. Visuals by Exposure. $3 before 10 p.m., $5 after. Doors open at 9:30 at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 7

Black Radical Film Series presents the Murder of Fred Hampton. Black Lives Matter Portland inaugurates a new monthly film series with The Murder of Fred Hampton, a two-part documentary which describes the life and political assassination of iconic Black Panther Party Illinois chapter chairman and founding member of the Rainbow Coalition, Fred Hampton. Light food and beverages will be provided. This space will center the voices of Black and Indigenous folks. Allies are welcome. $5-10 sliding scale donation, no one turned away for lack of funds.

7 p.m. at In Other Words bookstore, 14 NE Killingsworth St. DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016 • 17

FEATURES VOICES

WHEN A DIRTY QUEER DEVIATES – LONG TIME OPEN MIC CHANGES FORMAT AFTER 9 YEARS

By Sossity Chiricuzio, PQ Monthly

(With contributions from a handful of the thousands of local queers who have expressed themselves on this tiny, potent stage.)

I’ve been producing and hosting Dirty Queer, the X-rated open mic, for almost 9 years now. I began with the intention of creating a space where art about sexuality and gender could be explored, witnessed and mirrored as safely as possible. I did this because I am a sex radical—believing in access to resources and support around sexuality, and the importance of control of our own bodies—and also a writer who frequently uses themes of sex, kink, and gender. This made me a startling contributor to most open mics I participated in, which didn’t feed either myself or the audience.

DQ participant: “Dirty Queer has been a place where I can go to be a pervert amongst other perverts, where I can cruise to my heart’s content and speak my sexy truth and open up my twisted mind for all to see. Having a regular non-alcohol-focused queer gathering means a lot to myself and many queer friends of mine. “ Over the years, we have laughed and mourned and moaned, shifted nervously or with pleasure, opened doorways, shone lights into dark corners, and held each other tenderly. We have made space for each other, even in moments that haven’t made us tingle, and employed trigger warnings so we could do self-care in the face of all the glorious, dangerous and unfathomable things that sex can be.

sipated some of the charges, but in a positive way. They way that says our perversions and pleasures and bodies are no longer so prone to lurking in the shadows, seeking each other in whispers.

DQ participant: “As a fat, queer, woman of color, my body and identities are so often sexualized and fetishized without my consent. DQ has been a place for me to talk about embodiment and sexuality in many forms, on my own terms. So much of an artist’s work, especially around topics like sexuality and identity, is deeply vulnerable. In cultivating a space that is supportive, and an audience that so clearly holds a deep love for their community, DQ has helped to create a sense of both safety and freedom to explore for the artists that take that stage.“ I am so proud and grateful and satisfied. I also feel us shifting, as a whole, to desiring a wider conversation. I’ve been paying attention—to individual feedback, to online dialog, to the collective consciousness, to my gut—and what I perceive is that we’re ready for something more. A new chapter of our collaborative art and learning.

DQ participant: “I’m excited about the change! The body of my writing work is non-erotic in nature, but Dirty Queer holds a safe, supportive atmosphere where the audience/commuOCTOBER 2015 DIRTY QUEER, PHOTO BY JTYLERHUBERPHOTOGRAPHY.COM nities role is to be present and aware.

To hold space for that person being raw content warnings make sense. It allows audience members and vulnerable on stage, fucking it up, starting over and to take care of ourselves without censoring the performer. continuing to try, and to keep them accountable.”

It’s sometimes been hard being the only one walking out, Our city is being priced out from underneath us, water but to have that choice is beautiful.“ is being stolen and poisoned and sold, our prisons are facWe’ve also collectively changed the terms of, and shame tories and our factories are closing. Racism and sexism and WHEN A DIRTY QUEER DEVIATES page 19 around, these conversations. We’ve sparked so hard we dis-

DQ participant: “In my first year, I wouldn’t stay through a whole set, one of the only people of color consistently in the room. But when I dared speak about racism, the space was held. I talked about racism in sex and that was empowering for me, that allowed me to go further, to move past that pain and find pleasure...and that’s just as a performer.

As a person who has challenged ignorance in various arenas and grapples with hostility and gratitude on those fronts,

East Vancouver Dentistry 217 S.E. 136th Ave., Suite 102 Vancouver, WA 98684 Schedule an appointment today!

Call: 360.896.9595 EastVancouverDentistry.com Dr. Hooman Shakiba D.M.D

18 • DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016

pqmonthly.com

PERS{ECTOVES GLAPN I believe we have the capacity to make room for discomfort and dialog in the same evening as desire and frustration and hope and rage and joy. I think we can find a path to accountability and accessibility and Continued from page 18 mutual respect. I don’t expect it’ll be easy, homophobia and transphobia and shame but that’s never been our thing. and fear and greed are rampaging across DQ participant: “I think it’s time to the world and across our lives. Our bodies broaden our conversation. Sossity has are hungry and tired and disabled and helped to build such an amazing and suptrampled and shunned and disrespected portive environment and community and complicated, we have miles of assump- around DQ, that now we are ready to dive tions and privileges to untangle and undo, into the deeper currents. To talk about the and it’s all part of the same conversation. ways in which our identities intersect and The one where we figure deviate from the dominant out how to push back, how “I believe we have culture, and how we as artto dismantle, how to interists and thinkers can move the capacity to sect, and how to do better. through these waters and DQ participant: “The understand them.” make room for boundaries and the The dates, times, and discomfort and reminder that those boundlocation will be the same aries will be enforced are dialog in the same (Quarterly, In Other Words, incredibly integral pieces 6:30 pm,) barring unforeevening as desire to creating a space where seen issues, and the first people can open up, be vuland frustration and Deviate will be on April 8th, nerable, ask hard questions.

2016. There will be some hope and rage and changes to the format— And on the other side, to take in, to be present, and like featured artists who joy. I believe we to listen to deep needs. The also teach an accompanycan find a path to kicker is that all of these ing workshop—but it will things combined allow the accountability and still be 18+ due to keeping participants to partake, to dirty part of the conversaaccessibility and enjoy, to find something tion. The workshop topics they liked, and to leave and teachers will expand, mutual respect.” wanting more- knowing that as will the active particiit will continue to feed rather pation of the audience in than take from communal spirit.” interrupting and dialoguing hate speech January 8th, 2016, will be the 9 year anni- and problematic content when it comes versary of Dirty Queer, and also the last one up. I will be researching how other orgaever. After that, it will transform into Deviate nizations and events have handled this, – a queer open mic that explores the ways and reaching out to various communities we are deviating from and deconstructing for input and resources. I will continue to the normative. We will fold our conversa- prioritize marginalized voices, keeping my tions about sex, sexuality and gender into own privileges in mind, and will hold all larger examinations of the world we live in, participants to that same level of accountand all the ways we’re seeking to change it. ability so we can learn and unlearn and DQ participant: “This shift is a bitter- evolve together. sweet one, but I’m also excited about the DQ participant: “I’m hungrily anticipatopportunity to have wider conversations. ing the queer antics we might all get up to To share more of the hurt, we each hold together. I fully expect this event to feature about more than just sex. I think perfor- prominently in the queer anti-capitalist revmance art is a tricky thing. It’s certainly olution. Let us make joyful noise together.” a living, breathing thing that needs the people around it. It needs the community End note: If you have topics you’d like and the audience to hold a space that is me to cover, products you’d like me to safe to allow this expression in. And it needs review, people you’d like to hear from, or the community and the audience to inter- resources to share, please get in touch! sosact with it.” sity@pqmonthly.com

WHEN A DIRTY QUEER DEVIATES

SAVE THE DATE! PQ PRESS PARTY Next January 21st at: • January 21st, 2015, 5P.M.-7 P.M. : Vault Martini ( 226 NW 12th Ave, Portland, OR 97209) pqmonthly.com

DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016 • 19

SPORTS NIGHTLIFE

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503-862-8338, empowerbodycare.com

20 • DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016

VOICES

FINDING LEO Light a Candle

By Leo Bancroft, PQ Monthly

When I look back over 2015, there were many bright moments. I had a few firsts in my life as a trans man: taking off my shirt in public for the Trans Pride March in June, wearing a tux for my birthday. For Halloween, I wore an outfit that was, for me, a classic look that I’d been longing for: dress slacks and suspenders with a white undershirt, which in my imagination exudes a classy masculinity and sexiness. I also marked the first anniversary of both top surgery (with a sassy shirtless picture), and of taking testosterone. I became more comfortable using the men’s bathroom, though I still hold it rather than use some bathrooms, and undoubtedly rush to get in and get out, anxiously trying to make sure I don’t give myself away as trans. #wejustgottapee 2015 was liberating and joyful in my transition, and I’m feeling more comfortable in my skin. I also had the opportunity to train people in four states on how to be more welcoming and inclusive to LGBTQ people in their church, and to help them understand sexual orientation and gender identity. It was a good year for making connections and seeing more churches become welcoming to the LGBTQ community.

I love the chance to stay connected with people on social media (and find interesting articles and cat memes). But there is also a hard side of humanity that bleeds on our Facebook walls: mass shootings, the fierce debate about refugees, finger-pointing, fear mongering, and a world grappling with escalating violence. When I look over 2015, it seems like we are bent on a downward spiral. It makes me angry and uncomfortable. It takes an effort to not let my fears or cynicism win.

I need a reminder of the good in the world. On long winter nights, some traditions use the flame of a candle to draw our attention towards the light. One Christmas tradition has an evergreen wreath, the Advent wreath, with candles representing hope, love, joy, and peace, in addition to one in the middle for Christmas Eve, the Christ candle. I really appreciate the symbolism of a flame, lighting up the gloom around, bringing warmth and visibility.

You remind me of the good in the world.

Together, let’s light a metaphorical candle.

Can we give a spark of hope in the world of looming climate disaster? Can we give a flicker of love when families kick out their LGBTQ kid? Can we give joy, even when we want to weep at the suffering we see?

Can we give a portion of peace in a world of bloodshed, racism, and fear of the other?

Will you light a candle?

Let us each put energy towards bridge building, peace-making, and hearing the stories of others. Let us find out what we have in common. Let us be curious about each other, in a way that is caring. Let us be brave enough to share our own stories of struggle and happiness. Let us be gentle with ourselves about our own shortcomings, and learn to be graceful with others for theirs.

I need that candle’s burning flame because it is easy for me to fall into despair and fear. I can let the long nights of the cold, wet winter drown me in hopelessness about all that is wrong in the world.

I want to stick my head in the sand, and binge watch detective shows where all of the problems are figured out as a neat puzzle, and the villain gets locked up in the end.

In my faith tradition, the light of the candle also reminds me that God is with us in these hardest moments. God is weeping with us, and chanting with us “Black Lives Matter, Trans Lives Matter.” The flickering flame reminds me that God does not come in a chariot to save the day, but dwells with us in these long nights, loving each of us, no matter what. Because of that presence we can be inspired to be voices of both consolation and protest.

I know we come from different traditions, and I respect that. I don’t expect you to believe in God. It’s not my job to convert you, and it’s none of my business. Regardless of our different faith traditions, my wish is that together we can be the light of hope, and love. Together we can find joy and work for peace.

As we look over 2015, where was your heart most broken? For me, it was in loneliness and a fear for the future in a world of hateful political rhetoric. Is there a way I can hold space in my life for the feelings that come up and be gentle with myself and with others? Can I breathe in, breathe out, and work for hope, love, joy, and peace?

I wrestle with this. In the midst of our hectic world, how can we bring hope, share love, manifest joy, and create peace in tangible and concrete ways? You probably have ideas. Here are a few of mine to start us off: Buy a Street Roots magazine from every vendor you see. Register to vote. Send a card to someone who is feeling down. Advocate for the rights of trans people to use the restroom that aligns with their gender identity. Vote. Love. Give generously.

Will you light a candle?

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NIGHTLIFE NATIONAL

VOICES

CHRISTMAS WISHES DO COME TRUE! WRAPPING UP A YEAR OF SOCCER!

By Shaley Howard, PQ Monthly

Christmas wishes do come true! At least for the soccer lovers in the Pacific Northwest and queers! 2015 was the year the Portland Timbers FC took the MLS Cup, the US women’s national team took the Women’s World Cup and the Thorns FC had record breaking crowds. Oh and two queers – that’s right TWO – made it on Timbers billboards!

The year of soccer thrills began back in February when the Portland Timbers held a public photo shoot contest with a chance for a few lucky people to be up on a 50-foot billboard. Hundreds of people lined up posing in a fun and often badass positions, wielding chainsaws and axes dressed in Timber scarves and flannel with that very PNW rugged look. Out of the numerous entries, I along with fellow queer and capo for both the Timbers and Thorns Sunday White were honored to be chosen as Billboard finalists. To be selected out of the many entries to be on a 50-foot billboard in-and-of-itself is a once in a lifetime thrill, but to have two queers up proudly representing the Timbers and queers was unreal!

Christmas list – check.

But the thrilling 2015 soccer ride was just getting warmed up. In July, the US women’s national team settled a score with Japan, the defending champions, at the Women’s World Cup (WWC) championship match in Vancouver Canada. The final score was a blowout 5-2 with the first three goals being scored within the first 17 minutes of the game. It was also a record for the highest points scored in a final match totaling 7. With the crowd of seemingly all USA fans outfitted in a sea of red, white and blue continually chanting “I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN!” and “USA! USA! The USA!” the allure of soccer and especially women’s soccer soared. For millions of fans across the nation having a WWC victory gave the sport a huge boost – especially for women’s soccer – into the mainstream sports arena. Christmas list – check.

As if two queers on a billboard and the women’s national team taking the WWC wasn’t enough, let’s talk about the Portland 22 • DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016

Thorns FC and their fans.

As many know, Portland is a huge soccer city, perhaps the epicenter for soccer mania in the United States. And although the Thorns did not make it to the National Women’s Soccer League (NWSL) finals, Portland led the way – as usual, with record-breaking crowds. The average crowd for the Thorns home games was 15,639, far above any other city and they had two record-breaking sellout crowds of 21,144 people! Their home game against Seattle after the women’s national team won the WWC title was one of those record breaking crowds and even Governor Kate Brown made an appearance. To top it all off, Portland being well known for drawing huge crowds for women’s soccer, was chosen to host the NWSL championship in October at Providence Park. Christmas list – check.

There seems to be one tiny thing missing from our Christmas list – and that’s the Portland Timbers taking the MLS Cup! On Sunday, December 6th the Timbers beat the Columbus Crew 2-1 in the MLS Cup championship match. The first goal was scored within the first 27 seconds of the game by Timbers midfielder Diego Valeri making it the fastest goal ever scored in MLS Cup history. He was also named MLS Cup MVP. In the seventh minute, defender/midfielder Rodney Wallace scored the Timbers second goal making it enough to win the title. There were 21,747 fans in attendance at the Columbus MAPFRE Stadium which you would think might give the Columbus Crew the edge. But thousands of Timber fans made the journey east for the final match. Watching from home, I swear you could hear the Timbers Army chants above everything else! This was the first MLS Cup in the club’s history and the first time since 1977 that a professional men’s league from Portland has won a national league title.

Christmas list – check.

So talk about a fantastic year of soccer all around and a Christmas list completed!

Now – 2016 Christmas list; let’s have the Portland Trailblazers stop rebuilding and ‘rising’ and bring home an NBA title. A queer can dream can’t she? pqmonthly.com

ARTS & CULTURE

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DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016 • 23

VOICES BOOKS

24 • DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016

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FEATURE MUSIC

IN PORTLAND, BLACK FEMME LIVES MATTER

(Left) Adrienne Cabouet, (Right) Ebony Oldham Samantha L. Taylor, Columnist, PQ Monthly

This interview is an opportunity for PQ Monthly readers to familiarize themselves with Black Lives Matter Portland (BLM PDX) through the hearts of two of it’s members. I invited Ebony Oldham a graduate student at Portland State University, and Adrienne Cabouet a community organizer and, In Other Words, board member, to discuss with me their involvement – including the pitfalls and triumphs – of their organizing work with BLM PDX. Content note: I did not edit explicit language used during the interview. However, I did edit for brevity.

Samantha L. Taylor, PQ Monthly: For PQ readers who don’t know, what’s the purpose and framework of BLM? Adrienne Cabouet: The purpose of BLM, as a movement and an organization, is to: reaffirm to Black folks that our lives do matter. That we don’t have to rely on the pity of a white supremacist state to get rights or our right to life in this country; that we can get it for ourselves.

I feel like we’re a continuation of a struggle that was started in the 50s and 60s. Not a new movement, it’s one continuous, very, very long march to revolution. You see charismatic male leaders would be the focus of the movement, women’s issues would be ignored, queer issues would be ignored, and trans folks would be completely erased. Even though we’re leading the work in most cases. In this movement, we’re very intentional about uplifting those narratives and showing people who’re doing the work on the front lines.

A lot of times its queer folks; a lot of times it’s women. Our group is almost entirely women and femme folks. And that is what it looks like all over the country.

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Ebony Oldham: I think that often we romanticize the Civil Rights movement in a way that doesn’t look at things holistically, in a way that doesn’t validate Black people as humans who are multifaceted. I think this Black Lives Matter movement is looking at the Civil Rights movement critically so we don’t recreate the same oppressive systems that we were taught.

PQ: How and why did you come to this work?

AC: The first time I can remember being angry about a Black person being murdered was Trayvon Martin because he was just a kid who got followed home by someone with a gun, who picked a fight and then killed him because he was in a fight. And everybody was like, “It’s his fault!” People that I knew at the time, I had a lot of white friends, I was living in Boston and all these folks were playing devil’s advocate with George Zimmerman. They just assumed that Trayvon was scary, the antagonizer, and he was just a kid. It was disgusting! So that’s where I started on the path to becoming radicalized.

I am Afro-Latina, and Afro-Indigenous. My mother is from Honduras, my father is from Haiti. So I have these two bloodlines of Africans that rose up and revolted and won, twice. I feel really connected to that part of myself and it drives and motivates me to keep going because I feel like it’s what I’m supposed to do.

EO: I kinda feel like I was forced into organizing at a very young age. Living [in Portland] as a Black person [my] whole life has been shitty for me. I feel like my youth was taken from me because I had to try to survive. I go to Portland State University and I’m studying Postsecondary Adult and Continuing Education. One of the things that I talked about [in class was] how all throughout my educational experiences I wasn’t allowed to just focus on school. I had to focus on me being a Black person, and survival, and people petting my hair, and touching and stroking me, and teachers looking at me crazy and touching me. And worrying about my other brothers and sisters…I just can’t be.

[As a student organizer] at the University of Oregon there were ridiculous amounts of explicit racism where I walk down the corridors of the University of Oregon and I’d be called, “nigger, nigger, nigger.” White supremacist groups on our campus put my face on a website saying they were going to rape me. I’ve always been forced into organizing for

my survival as a person. That particular thing is not unique to me, per se, but I think it’s important to talk about Black people in Portland in a much-nuanced way that talks about our whole experience in a state that’s anti-Black.

AC: Black women, Black girls, Black femmes in the patriarchal, misogynistic, transphobic society need to be held, and need space to be alone together and have space away from the world that’s built to kill them. A lot of our work is focused on healing work for women and femmes because we’re truly left behind and we have to be intentional about including ourselves and centering the leadership of women.

PQ: What are some upcoming events or direct actions people can look forward to supporting and participating in with BLM PDX? AC: There’s a program that folks can help out with. We’re starting a cop watch out of In Other Words, it’s on Killingsworth, near PCC Cascade. We want to go door knocking in that community and [talk] to folks and [ask] them if they want to observe what the police are doing, hold them accountable for mistreating folks. So, we’re going to have a community event on January 23rd, it’s a potluck and a discussion about why cop watching is a right solution for us, why it fits into the ideology that we’re building, and why we believe that it’s going to get Black folks free. The cop watch is launching the beginning of February and we want it to be a Black space. We want to recruit as many Black folks as possible. We want folks to be very clearly aware that when we bring more police into our communities, Black people are going to die. Black children, Black women, Black men.

This is what police do. Police are an occupying force. You need to be aware of that. You need to be mindful of that. A campaign for more police means more dead Black folks.

There’s been cop watches in the past in Portland that were all white. Just the idea of a Black person getting arrested in a brutal way while a bunch of white strangers observe is not something that black folks should be subject to. We want to get them cop watching in their own neighborhoods. After this community event we will be training folks how to do it; giving folks some legal training and also some equipment. If you want to be part of it, come to the community potluck on the 23rd!

PQ: What are the purposes and goals of events like these?

EO: It’s important to provide a space where Black people can be around Black people. We’re always in a state of emergency. As Black folks, we don’t get to just be, we don’t get to live. We don’t get to experience joy, in the same way, other folks do, or even a variety of emotions. Often, we just have to pick up and keep going, and keep going; that does a bunch of shit to our health. I think that it’s also creating a space where Black people can experience emotions, like sadness, and anger, and regret and disgust. I think those are, not the BLACK FEMME LIVES MATTER page 27

DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016 • 25

GLAPN

GLAPN

A COMPASS FOR OUR FUTURE

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“Results that move you!”

died from AIDS way too early, seen my friends discriminated against in housing and medicine. I have seen the longing for families and a sense of normalcy in life. I embraced my own fear that my children would be taken away if I were found out.

In many ways, 2015 is a watershed year. The achievements in the GLBT community are gargantuan. They have not been without pain or fear. BUT we knew our history and knew it was important to prevail, to embrace each other. We learned that hate was only conquered with love and tolerance.

Remember this year, teach it to your children, nieces, and nephews. Let those young people know what came before so they may find their way to helping all those who are thought less of and disSUZANNE DEAKINS, PH.D. criminated against. History is an art, full of glorious moments, times of fear and Suzanne Deakins, Ph.D. pain, and times we should hide our heads in shame for what we were afraid to do. SociMany years ago I sat in a teaching lab at ety is changed, enlightened, and embraced UCLA, when the professor, Dr. Rod Gorney by one footstep at a time. One person clapbegan talking about violence, creativity, and ping can bring the thunder of change. history. Up until that moment, I had never Without history, we have no compass to connected the three: history had always the future. We must know from whence we been about dates and wars in my mind. come to find our path to the future.

He was eloquent in his approach and my other concerns passed as I listened intently Suzanne Deakins, Ph.D., is an author, to this lesson that would change my life. and publisher of One Spirit Press/Q Press.

His thesis was based on the idea that with- Her commentaries have appeared in out history we are doomed to violence and Bloomberg Press, Working Women, Art Age, stunted creativity. He went on to explain and Wall Street Journal. Some of her books that when history showed the impact on include: Back to the Basic Management, Lost society, the humanity of life, it changed how Craft Of Leadership, Authentic Forgiveness, people made decisions. “Without history Sacred Intimacy, Double Chocolate, Book of we are doomed to repeating violence.” His Exotic Poetry. She may be reached at onespirstudy showed that when each of us under- itpress@gmail.com. stood our personal, family, and tribe history we could relook our decisions and the GLAPN was founded in 1994 as the Gay impact of decisions on our life. His further & Lesbian Archives of the Pacific Northstudy showed that in the worst situations west. Its purpose is to discover, preserve when young people understood history/ and share the history of all sexual minoriherstory, instead of turning to violence they ties in the Pacific Northwest. GLAPN gladly turned to using their creativity to resolve supplies speakers to groups interested in social issues and pains. regional queer history, and just as gladly This is why I belong to and support consults with groups who want to docuGLAPN. Through the years, I have seen ment their own history. Materials donated to what can happen to my brothers and sis- GLAPN become part of the reference library ters. I have feared for the life of my son who at Oregon Historical Society.

Gabriela@RealtorGabriela.com • 503-481-9870

5000 Meadows Suite 150 Portland, OR 97035 26 • DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016

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(Left) Adrienne Cabouet, (Right) Ebony Oldham

BLACK FEMME LIVES MATTER Continued from page 25

only goals, but they are goals that I have.

PQ: Final thoughts?

AC: It’s a really exciting time to be alive!

I also think that this is a long haul. The revolution is not gonna pop off tomorrow. The work we’re doing now is for our children.

It’s important that we recognize that this is an international struggle and that we are in solidarity with all oppressed folks. In the Bay Area right now, Indigenous folks are shutting shit down with Black folks, for Black lives.

And Black folks are talking about the history of colonization and the history of capitalism, and what white supremacy has done to the first peoples of this land. So I feel like it’s very, very, very important to connect those struggles, to build solidarity among those groups because we’re going to need a whole contingent of groups. As many groups as possible fighting against the system. Indigenous solidarity is really necessary. Talking about what

it means to be a settler as a Black person is critical. Talking about what’s happening in Palestine, what’s going on on the continent of Africa is vital. And we need to connect these struggles. *** We may not always agree on the most direct route to actualizing freedom and liberation, but ain’t nobody free until all of us are free. Here I leave you with the words of Assata Shakur. Words that are often used by BLM PDX as a means of motivation to abide their mission and stay the course: “It is our duty to fight for our freedom.

It is our duty to win.

We must love each other and support each other.

We have nothing to lose but our chains.”

You can follow the happenings of BLM PDX on social media: their Facebook page is www.facebook.com/blacklivesmatterpdx; and on Twitter @BLMPDX. You can also find Ebony openly sharing her lived experiences @MyGawdWearsPink on Twitter.

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DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016 • 27

PHOTOS

28 • DECEMBER/JANUARY 2015-2016

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PHOTOS

VOICES

THE SECRET LIFE OF SUMMER SEASONS

PHOTO BY DAX MCMILLAN

Stopping to Smell the Roses: My Year in Review

When I was little, I wanted to be famous.

Gianni Versace was my idol, and I just knew that someday I could make it big in the fashion world. I took his death in 1997 very hard, and for some reason it triggered my old battle with self-sabotage. For whatever reason, I only ever dreamt of being in his fashion house, and even though his sister was rumored to take over at the time, I was forever stuck with the idea that because he was gone I could never make it either.

As I got into senior year of high school, I became increasingly bored with the curriculum so I just stopped doing it. It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to do it, it just stopped challenging me altogether, I was in college level classes and I just gave up. When I started to fail my classes I sat down with the teachers and my parents and I couldn’t give them a valid excuse as to why I stopped trying, I just did.

I let a large part of my life after high school pass by in mostly a blur. I think in large part I don’t remember a lot of it because I don’t want to remember those times. A lot of things happened in that time, some of it is good, some really great, but there was a lot of bad too. And one day I woke up and was like what the hell am I doing?

I spent a large part of the years after trying to make up for lost time. Building relationships back with family, establishing myself a career and focusing on my drag, but my life can never be perfect. I ended up landing myself with a DUI and some subsequent charges for driving while suspended.

I did it to myself, I have no excuses, and it became time for me to pick up the pieces and head into being an adult.

I never actually stopped to look back after that, I immersed myself in my work, building up my drag resume from just Embers and Darcelles, to hosting for CAP, Hamburger Mary’s, Scandals and CC’s with the Gay Pride Parade. I’d made a lot of accomplishments, worked my way to the fame that I so desperately wanted, but a large part of me was very lonely. I had great friends, best ones I’ve had in a long time, but somehow because of my career I felt I was missing out on everything. It began to take a big hold on me and my work, performances, sewing outfits all started to suffer.

The only passion that ever seemed to drive a force in me was fundraising.

At the beginning of this year I decided I needed to let all that toxic energy go. It was time for me to start taking the time off pqmonthly.com

I needed, and to do the things I needed to do and find who I was again.

The year began with a trip to NY with my brother, our first trip away from our homes in forever and an inspiring one at that. For him and me it was business as usual, drinks, shenanigans, fun, snow in the city, but my friend Darcy showed me the town and took me to Mood giving me the inspiration to create again. I didn’t realize how far away from inspired I had become until I was in a brand new place exploring the city and just living. Before I’d just set myself up to do projects and then wait until the last minute to do them. I could never give myself the time I needed. I was very much the queen of last minute.

As the summer months approached it became evident to myself and to a few around me that taking breaks from everything, even just to get away was going to be my new necessity. Going on the small weekend getaways with my friends or family helped me to solidify that strong bonds that I’d sought after for so long. My work drastically improved and the inspiration began to once again flood through me.

When Maria and Kimberley asked me to do Peacock in the Park was really when the fire was set inside me, however. My boys and Bekah got in on it and finally I’d found the balance between friends and work and fun. Those guys and I gave everything on that stage and as I looked over the audience screaming back at me, I’d finally found true happiness in myself. I could give myself the credit I’d sought from others for so long and allow myself to just be me. It took all of my friends believing in me to show me that love I’d really needed.

La Femme became the real game changer. It solidified the relationship between my mom and me immensely and got all my friends fired up for a new performance and allowed me to show the community who I’d finally become. It was pretty obvious most everyone was surprised by what I brought, but boy were they proud of me. Despite the outcome, I won that day because it was very clear the community really loved me.

As my birthday approaches and I’m ready to turn 36, I can’t help but be thankful for this last year. I’ve finally learned how to stop sabotaging myself and give myself the chances that I really deserve. I’m taking the time to stop and smell the roses because now I’m actually living. I still move at a pretty wild place, but I’m in the best place I’ve ever been. Whoever said you were dead after 30 hasn’t actually lived because these years I’m finally living!

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