PQ January/February 2014

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PQMONTHLY.COM Vol. 3 No. 1 Dec-Jan 13/14

PHOTO BY ERIC WAINWRIGHT

MONTHLY

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PQ TEAM ON THEMES AND THE MAKING OF A NEWSPAPER As you can probably imagine, making a publication like this one isn’t a low-stress endeavor. There are ads to sell, assignments to hand out, deadlines to meet, design work to be done, and edits to be made—and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Then, at the end of the day, when everything’s printed and distributed, people have feedback about your work. Which we’re OK with. We listen—and as a community, we should listen.

When we first heard about Judge’s battle with cancer (page 12), we knew we had to tell his story. That’s our job as a community newspaper—to tell our stories better than anyone else. After we gave Judge the green light, we looked at what we could build around it—would it be health-focused? Would we explore our many health challenges? Or would we try to paint a broader picture, with more far-reaching, obscure themes and ideas? What you’ll find in these pages, dear readers, is the fruits of our labor. And it’s collective labor.

It’s an issue that strives to tell as many stories as it can. One of our writers traveled abroad for sex reassignment surgery, and she wrote about her experience. Another writer pitched a new series to me: Let’s look at the fashion in our community and how we put it together. He’d get to the meat of what drives and inspires us. Because many believe what we put on our outsides is some kind of reflection of what’s inside. (We’re not talking “labels” here, kids.) Another writer dove into the Ani DiFranco debacle, another into same-sex marriage, and so on. And then there are columns.

I had a conversation with a friend the other day—at an elegant Golden Globes party—about our columns. He’s of the persuasion that we’re often too column-heavy. As a longtime columnist, I’m clearly a bit biased. (Hint: I can’t get enough.)

I think that as a publication whose obligation it is to tell our community’s stories, it behooves us to gather as many perspectives and experiences we can, because part of our job is to give people someone to relate to, to shine light where perhaps it doesn’t always shine.

That’s our roundabout way of sharing what’s on our mind.

As we explore “what’s underneath” in these pages, know we had each of you in mind. And we always do.

Melanie Davis

Owner/Publisher melanie@pqmonthly.com

Gabriela Kandziora

Director of Business Development

gabriela@pqmonthly.com

chris alvarez

Art Director chris@pqmonthly.com

Pablo Cáceres

Special Projects pablo@pqmonthly.com

editorial TEAM daniel borgen

Editor daniel@pqmonthly.com

nick mattos

Founding Staff Writer & Social Media Manager nick@pqmonthly.com

Andrew Edwards Copy Editor

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Sales Representative larry@pqmonthly.com

lynda Wilkinson Sales Representative lynda@pqmonthly.com

National Advertising Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 sales@rivendellmedia.com

photographers Oscar Foster

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media

On page 32, Michael Talley and Eric Sellers bring us a new feature wherein they profile some of the city’s most interesting fashion icons. (Icon is such a strong word, but we think it fits.) Read all about Wolfgang (pictured above).

--Daniel Borgen

A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:

ON THE COVER

Transition, start to finish: A personal narrative.................................................. Page 7 Ani Difranco disappoints; also: deconstructing outrage............................... Page 8

Sammi Rivera

Director of Video Productions

We profile some local businesses (and a band)............................................. Page 11

contributing writers TJ Acena, Ben Burwitz, Belinda Carroll, Marco Davis, Gula Delgatto, Andrew Edwards, Leela Ginelle, Kim Hoffman, Shaley Howard, Konrad Juengling, Richard Jones, LeAnn Locher, Monika MHz, Miss Renee, Katey Pants, and, of course, your PQ Editorial Team

Judge Kemp on cancer, treatment, and vulnerability.................................... Page 12 Lotus Rising: a resource for queer youth........................................................... Page 15

503.228.3139

A chat with Chicken Strip’s founder and the return of Love Ball.................... Page 16

proudqueer.com

How do court cases change efforts at the ballot box?................................... Page 22 Pet Shop Boys and trans representation in videos........................................... Page 28 PHOTO BY ERIC WAINWRIGHT

THE NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE OF PQ MONTHLY IS RIVENDELL MEDIA, INC. BRILLIANT MEDIA LLC, DBA EL HISPANIC NEWS & PQ MONTHLY.

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Our inspiration this month was Judge Kemp’s exquisite frame, serving bodyody-ody. We thank UnderU4Men for being gracious hosts and for providing the beautiful undergarments used on the cover and in the spread on page 18.

Bomb Ass Pussy explain words have meaning................................................ Page 31 Also, a gorgeous underwear centerfold, We Exist, news/business briefs, Queer Aperture, and much more! Including columns OK Here’s the Deal, Whiskey & Sympathy, Lady Chronicles, Everything is Connected, The Comeback Kid, and Cultivating Life, for starters. Wanna see something you’re not seeing? Email Daniel@PQMonthly.com.

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NEWS BRIEFS

LOCAL On Dec. 2, a vicious hate crime took place at Bagby Hot Springs, PQ Monthly reported in our last issue. Mik Holland and a friend were attacked and bludgeoned with a flashlight, and ambulanced to nearby Oregon Health & Science University. No suspects have been made; however detailed descriptions of the perpetrators were given to the Clackamas County Sheriff’s Department, along with a vehicle description: a 2007-2010 dark blue or charcoal grey Dodge pickup with Washington plates. If you have information, please help by contacting the Sherriff tip line at 503-723-4949 and reference case #13-36459.

Eric Marcoux and Eugene Woodworth, partners for 60 years, decided to officially tie the knot in Washington, after waiting decades for Oregon to legalize gay marriage. In a heartbreaking twist, Woodworth was recently diagnosed with congestive heart failure—he died just a week and one day afterward on Dec. 21. He was 85. Our hearts go out to Marcoux and Woodworth’s family.

Huge support was given across Oregon when participants recently launched Communities of Color United for Marriage (CC4M.) Representatives involved in the newly rooted organization include: Basic Rights Oregon, Asian Pacific American Network of Oregon, PFLAG Portland Black Chapter, Coalition of Communities of Color, Mano a Mano, Portland Latino Gay Pride, Western States Center, and many more. Getting involved is easy: Contact Emily@ ORUnited.org for all the info.

New Year’s Eve is supposed to be about midnight kisses and confetti. But the popular gay dance club Neighbour’s, on Seattle’s Capitol Hill, was the scene of an attempted fire on Jan. 1. Just fifteen minutes after ringing in the New Year, an arsonist (or arsonists) covered the carpet steps in gasoline. Thankfully, no injuries were reported. If you were partying like it’s 1999 in Seattle to ring in the holiday, any tips should be called in to the Seattle Police Arson/Bomb Squad.

The Lotus Rising Project, based out of Medford, Ore., officially opened its new Lending Library doors on Jan.

5. Materials were turned over from Ashland-based nonprofit organization Abdill-Ellis Center. Morag Elizabeth catalogued the collection with her daughter, Jennifer Taylor. Board president Julian Spalding told Mail Tribune “there’s no other library like this in the Rogue Valley.” Happy archiving, Southern Oregon.

Mark Zmuda, a former Washington high school vice principal appeared in a YouTube video on January 4, blasting Eastside Catholic School for firing him because of his recent marriage to his same-sex partner. Zmuda claims the head of the school suggested he get a divorce to keep his job. Since then students have rallied with Zmuda, who they refer to as “Mr. Z.” All who agree: #keepMrZ2013.

The City of Roses will be ecstatic to learn that Advocate magazine just announced Portland is the 20th gayest city in the nation. Do you agree? Seattle took the third spot, while Washington, D.C. came in first.

The Eugene School District recently paid a $5,000 settlement after a bullying lawsuit made claims they did not prevent a Cal Young Middle School boy from being harassed over his sexuality. Since then, the boy has transferred to a private school—but one can only hope the school district has taken a more serious aim at anti-bullying conduct.

NATIONAL The U.S. Supreme Court put a halt on gay marriages in Utah on Jan. 6. A petition was sent to Justice Sonia Sotomayor from the state to temporarily cease any same-sex marriages while an appeal is in process. Since Judge Robert Shelby’s Dec. 20 ruling that the ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, over 900 Utah same-sex couples have wed.

Shortly after the Supreme Court’s announcement, on Jan. 10, the Obama administration announced it would recognize Utah’s same-sex marriages. The move will allow the couples to access federal benefits available to married couples, such as the ability to file joint tax returns, while the courts mull the validity of the marriages and the court rulings that led to them. The move is also a bit of a rebuff

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and counterpoint to the position taken by Utah’s governor—a Republican—who refused to recognize the samesex unions. Once again, Obama has proven he’s something of an ally to the LGBTQ community.

On Dec. 19, the American Civil Liberties Union of Oregon and counsel from Johnson, Johnson & Schaller, PC, and Perkins Coie, LLP, filed a suit similar to the one filed in October by Lake Perriguey and Lea Ann Easton. This time, two couples are filing: Lisa Chickadonz and Christine Tanner, and Paul Rummell and Benjamin West. The October and December suits were filed with the Federal District Court in Eugene, declaring the ban on same-sex marriage a violation of the U.S. constitution. ACLU is in attempt to have the two cases consolidated.

A well-known member of the LGBTQ activist community, Frank Goldberg disappeared in Buffalo, N.Y., on Dec. 16. Goldberg was at home visiting family, but had recently moved to Portland, OR. Any information about the case should be sent to FindFrankGoldberg@gmail.com.

New Mexico became the 17th state to legalize same-sex marriage! Marriage licenses were issued back in August to more than 1,000 couples in eight of the 33 counties. The ACLU and National Center for Lesbian Rights represented same-sex couples in the Supreme Court case. Doesn’t it seem like this march is sort of inevitable?

Coca-Cola recently aired a European commercial that included a same-sex wedding in the final cut; however an alternative version of the ad aired in Ireland, replacing the same-sex couple with a man and woman. Sure, the Irish love beer, but a little same-sex loving soda never hurt anyone.

Michelle Obama (also known as FLOTUS) recently sent her warm congratulations on over to Robin Roberts, the Good Morning America anchor who recently came out.

The First Lady even tweeted about it: “@RobinRoberts, I am so happy for you and Amber! You continue to make us all proud.” Roberts and Amber Laign have been dating for ten years.

--Kim Hoffman

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FEATURE

ID CHECK: TO THE KNIFE AND BACK I’ll lie with an open wound, halfway around the world from everyone and everything I know, save my roommate, and hope my healing progresses without incident, which I suspect it will, my optimism occurring selectively from some mysterious instinctual source.

From the clinic, I’ll move to a hotel or guest house with my roommate where I’ll rest more, attempt to amuse myself, stay in contact with all the people I miss, begin a lifelong regimen of maintenance around my new body parts, and try to understand what’s taken place. On the appointed day, my roommate and I will fly home, and a few weeks later Leela spent a lot of time in a room that looked much like this. But she’s back home, safe and sound (not to mention whole).

I’ll return to life as usual, only significantly different,

By Leela Ginelle, PQ Monthly in ways I can’t really foretell.

Those feelings of doom, personified as disembodied (Editor’s note: This special edition of ID Check chronicles weapons, are like pictures with the caption, “I’ll never get Leela’s gender reassignment surgery abroad. Parts of it first what I want.” appeared online, and now, for the first time, all appear together When I read my descriptions of them back they sound in print.) self-absorbed and neurotic. I see them as symbols I associate with childhood abuse, which arise when I need a PART I. THE PLAN solution that depends on the expertise and honesty of others, as opposed to my own perseverance. “Passenger” In my mind, it’s as though I’m planning to walk into and “patient,” roles in which my agency is limited and my a curtain of whirring circular saw blades. For the privilege, anger and voice are superfluous, feel uncomfortable.

I’ve had myself examined by doctors and a therapist, pro Discomfort, hidden for a lifetime, however, is what cured a new passport, and prepared to spend all of my own the process is intended to alleviate; shedding the dread I’ve money and that which I could solicit from friends. felt surrounding it is one more chance to separate my story I’ll board a plane for one hour, another one for twenty today from that of the past, which was full of sorrow and two, and a third for one more. That’s the first part that seems rage. It’s probably romantic to think I’ll find something to impossible and, in my imagination, treacherous. Any one replace it during my journey somewhere across the globe. of them could blow up, fall from the sky, or be delayed by Change happens all the time, though, inside and out. weather, human error or a thousand strange mishaps. At any of the airports I could be detained, miss my flight, or PART. II. ANTICIPATION encounter some frustrating, Kafka-esque scenario that throws me irreparably off my itinerary, causing me to lose With all my preparations made, and nothing left my chance for who knows how long. to obsess about, my mind flies from website to website, The flight is the first gauntlet, which, when it ends, from junk food to exercise, only occasionally pausing long leaves a rest until the surgery itself. The surgery—a proce- enough to observe how spun out I am. In those moments dure I’ve avoided looking into, perhaps out of fear, and per- I see my plans, looking like giants, completely out of prohaps because I’ll be unconscious when it takes place, and, portion with anything in my previous experience. therefore, have very little to do with its success or failure.

My brain—perhaps conditioned by trauma, perhaps The surgery, which requires me to be anesthetized because it’s a brain—often acts like a scout, breaking off to while my genitals are sliced, repurposed and sown into the future to try to keep myself safe. When my mind reaches place again, hopefully without incident or complication. the upcoming procedure, all it sees is darkness. The only The surgery—which will repair a lifetime’s experience of tool I have for this milestone, in which I’ll be given general dysphoria about which I’ve only been able to be honest in anesthetics that render me unconscious for its duration, is the past months—as I knew it would finally end. surrender. Surrender is comforting, not diverting.

The flight and the surgery are not the blades that It’s very difficult on some level to travel halfway cloud my vision of the next few weeks; they’re what the around the world and allow people to cut me, even for blades could impede. The flight and the surgery are the this very necessary reason. The darkness my mind reaches answers to a previously unsolvable puzzle and anything is a barrier that, at most times, I’m unable to overcome. that sabotages them, and the life I envision resulting from In some moments I’ll think of returning to my home them, feels like an existential villain. after the trip and feel a bolt, a sudden understanding that A four nights’ stay at the clinic follows the procedure. at that moment I’ll have the body I want. That’s spontaThe things I can imagine: exhaustion, medication, visits neous, unconscious future-casting, though. Any more roufrom my roommate, who’s travelling with me, perhaps tine worrying, drifting from the current moment forward, some correspondence with loved ones at home. Unimag- crashes instead on the shoals of those hours, lying helpless inable, though, is what I’ll feel—how soon, how much and and incapacitated, my groin under operation. in what ways I’ll feel it.

In frustration, I’ll push past those missing hours, and pqmonthly.com

all the possible dangers they hold, and land in the days of incapacitation they’ll result in—catheters, painkillers, feebleness, and blood, all experienced in a city I don’t know, apart from nearly everyone I love.

Even this period, though, seems relieving, as experiencing it would mean I’d lived and emerged without obvious complications. Surrender, again, is my sole strategy at this time. Resting, following doctor’s orders, and hoping to start life again.

The recovery is wrapped in a mystery: What will this change mean and how will I experience it? I can’t really know, but the little rays of peace and bliss I intuit suggest a kind of effortless, internal congruence foreign to my current existence.

Here at the airport in Taipei, three days after starting this piece and two days before my operation is scheduled, these worries seem ephemeral. The results still feel unknowable, but the chatter I’ve described has receded, leaving a desire to notice things other than potential threats and enemies. Having grown up under perpetual enemy threat, this desire feels unwise, but that’s a thought I imagine will fade, as well.

This journey, since its conception, has seemed parallel to a second one, leading away from old wounds toward a more open, trusting way of viewing the world and my place in it. As I await my final flight, then, and find myself optimistic about nearly everything, I’m almost not surprised. Grief doesn’t last forever, and, in my experience, acceptance and peace, even prior to a surgery, are often its happy outcomes.

PART III. THE OPERATION During the battery of tests I was given on the day prior to my operation (EKG, blood draw, chest x-ray), by nurses who spoke almost no English, and could offer no reassurance to my questions when they looked befuddled or concerned, I felt both calm and terrified.

I told myself the tests were perfunctory, as I had already travelled here, and paid for the procedure I’d booked nearly six months ago. Realistically, I thought, nothing could derail the surgery, which grew closer by the hour, to both my excitement and terror.

That night I met the surgeon at his clinic along with two other women from Los Angeles, who were there for the same reason. He seemed calm, confident and kind, like my research had suggested, and I left, counting the hours down.

The day of the surgery, I moved to the inpatient floor.

I was ordered to change into a gown, my entire groin area was shaved, and a nurse administered four consecutive enemas, during which I, not being a stoic, moaned and complained to my roommate. Breaks ensued, which felt endless, as I watched the clock; my IV was soon inserted, and, as scheduled, I was wheeled from my room into an elevator, and on to the operating room.

The room was freezing. Those within it talked and joked in Thai as they made preparations. The anesthesiologist, a charming man, told me he’d worked with my surgeon for twenty years, a fact I found reassuring. His drugs, administered by IV, paralyzed my body as he asked me to breathe into a plastic mask.

I came to slowly in a different room, taken by the fear that if I fell asleep again, I’d die. Consequently, I made an effort to stay awake. I announced to the blurry figures around me I was conscious, and they soon wheeled me back to my room.

I arrived thirsty, and with my teeth chattering. My roommate gave me another blanket and some water, and my fears began to recede.

The surgical area was covered with thick adhesive banTO THE KNIFE AND BACK page 8

January/February 2014 • 7

FEATURE

ANI DIFRANCO: NO GODDESS, NO MASTERS, NO SHEROES with books like Myths of Slavery … [which aims] to disprove that slavery was “cruel, unjust and contrary to our nation’s basic creed of individual freedom.”

Nottoway Plantation is listed on the National Register of Historic Places, but is owned and operated privately by Nottoway Plantation Inc. Nottoway Plantation Inc., with annual revenue of $2.5 to 5 million, is owned by the Paul Ramsay Group.

The Paul Ramsay Group is the investment arm of Australia’s thirteenth richest billionaire Paul Ramsay, a healthcare mogul well known in Australia for donating half a million dollars to conservative Prime Minister Tony Abbott’s election campaign. So who benefits from the continued existence of the plantation? A man who has given It’s fairly certain Ani will survive the mess she created when she booked a retreat on a plantation. Her more than $1.8 million to the anti-gay, anti-aborreputation? Who knows. tion, and anti-immigrant Liberal party over the last 14 years.

By Kat Endgame, PQ Monthly You really wouldn’t want to spend a lovely weekend getaway sleeping with the tortured ghosts of American hisI have a cautionary tale for those of you who aren’t glued tory to the benefit of a conservative Australian billionaire to the Internet 24/7. In late December, a storm of controwould you? versy rose up around a presumably shocked singer songWell, you were invited to do just that while getting a writer and indie-darling Ani Difranco, after the Internet nice suntan alongside Difranco just outside the Big Easy. caught wind of her decision to hold a feminist songwritWhat the hell was she thinking? The entire feminist Internet ing retreat at the Nottoway Plantation: one of the largest was royally pissed at Ani for being totally oblivious to the former plantations in the South. fact that holding a songwriting retreat at a former plantaAlthough women of color had been asking nicely, “What tion might make people of color feel uncomfortable about the hell are you thinking,” on the Facebook event page up attending. Righteous Babe Records was silent until a wave to that point, I picked up the story for PQ just as it began to of outrage forced Ani Difranco to reconsider and eventually spread. My first response was outrage. Clearly it seems disrelease a long faux-apology from Ani that made her seem gusting, right? But what if the plantation had been turned that much more out of touch. into a museum documenting the grisly abuses suffered by The faux-apology explained that when she heard the more than a hundred people enslaved there, who built that the retreat was at Nottoway she thought “whoa” with their hands what was to be the greatest mansion on and then essentially stopped there. She made it clear the Mississippi? What if all profits went to some kind of repthat the decision for the location was all in the hands arations-like fund paying into college educations for black of Dreamcatcher Events who had organized similar Americans impacted by slavery? retreats for other artists. She announced the event’s That was not the case at all. The Nottoway Plantation cancellation with a tone of “If you can’t all be nice to is currently owned and operated by Nottoway Plantation me then I quit!” She really didn’t take responsibility for Inc., which operates a museum, restaurant and hotel on her own power in the situation until a renewed storm the premises. Tours are given daily, and you are invited built across the internet calling her out for her lack of to sample the absolute delights afforded the white slave accountability. After a few days of what I assume was owners who once resided in the massive, opulent home. contemplation and panic she finally apologized for real.

The immense suffering and brutal history of slavery has been sanitized to be as inoffensive as possible to the NO HEROES, NO MASTERS wealthy white people who get married or vacation there.

In fact, according to The Social and Global Justice ProjAs an idealistic consumer of political media for my entire ect, there’s no acknowledgment at Nottoway that anything adult life, I’ve had to learn and relearn not to trust famous bad ever happened there. They recall a gift shop stocked people. We are all, secretly or not, hypocrites sometimes.

TO THE KNIFE AND BACK Continued from page 7

dages, out of which two tubes, one connecting to a catheter bag and another to a drainage ball, protruded, making the region, ironically, bulkier and more unsightly than before.

After three pleasant, tedious days, the surgeon returned to unpack the wound. With elan he swooped in, assuring me he’d “done this a thousand times.” He peeled the bandages down from my waist, revealing what appeared to be a violet mass of blood-stained gauze surrounding rubber tubes shooting out from my indecipherable new genitals.

In terror, I watched him chop, with great effort, through the tubes, centimeters from my mutilated flesh.

In some order I don’t remember, the bandages were fully removed, volumes of gauze were taken from my neovagina, and the tubes were yanked out of me.

With the utmost delicacy, I showered, and getting out, lined my underwear with a pad, as bleeding is common for several weeks following the surgery. Pulling my underwear 8 • January/February 2014

up onto my new body, I experienced a burst of pure joy and elation, one of many that accompanied the understanding my dream had been accomplished and my predictions and beliefs had been correct.

A few days later, after moving to a hotel, I was taken to the surgeon’s outpatient clinic. After nurses removed my stitches, the surgeon, placing a condom and lube on a thin, solid shaft of unyielding plastic, demonstrated the practice of dilating, inserting the instrument into my new vagina.

Shocking, uncomfortable but not painful, nowhere near as bad as the enemas, the event was clinical, and an odd, but necessary way to inaugurate my new orifice.

At home the next morning, I repeated the practice, which prevents the neovagina from closing. During my preparations, I held the mirror they gave me under the surgical site, staring at the different areas, which had been grafted together, and which were in various stages of healing.

I thought of the words I’d been hearing, like labia and perineum, and wondered why I hadn’t known them before.

I second guessed everything, feeling gross, and thought of

We have to understand that the art that artists make stands separate from the artist herself. Picasso made fantastic, thoughtful, often politically charged work, yet in his private life he was a womanizing asshole. One need not accept the politics and lifetime-sum of actions of Ani Difranco to listen to “Subdivision” and appreciate the message.

Difranco is also a person, who lives in a body, in this world. She makes decisions and wields power as an artist and metaphor at the head of a giant in the Indie scene.

People have to be held accountable for their actions; whether we are calling her out or calling her in, there have to be repercussions for messing up.

She made a mistake that betrayed a level of obliviousness many didn’t think her capable of.

She cancelled the retreat all together, and I think she deserves a little bit of credit for that. Next time she needs to do better research and maybe not work with Dreamcatcher Events. She not-apologized to the community in a defensive tone, and then apologized for real after people continued to be outraged with her.

Ani Difranco’s Nottoway mistake is a good illustration of the community holding our heroes accountable for their mistakes. It proves that Difranco is still somewhat within reach of real people, but significant damage has been done to her reputation despite the cancellation and apologies. Some people, particularly white feminists, took to Difranco’s defense with a rabid intensity. She is a heroine to many, and many folk couldn’t accept that Difranco would do something so naive, or worse, argue that it was totally acceptable.

I spent a good part of my late teens with Difranco in my ears—she was the soundtrack for squishy teenage girl sex, revolutionary queer activism, and those solemn nights of reflection about the terrible state of world affairs. Like L7, Team Dresch, and Le Tigre, her music will always occupy a huge place inside of my heart and history. That said, no amount of indie or feminist cred makes our heroines infallible. They say racist things when they think no one is looking, they play Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival and prove they care little for trans women’s humanity, or they sell out to a major label and suddenly vanish from our communities.

We can’t let artists stand in for us as mascots of idealism, as if identifying with the right heroes grants us entry to an optimistic fantasy world where oppression is over and the work is done, sheerly by the quantity of good vibes everyone is feeling. The work is not done, we are each of us the ones who must do it, flaws and strength, and neither tearing each other to shreds nor giving each other a free pass on oppressive bullshit will get us any closer to the better world we all see in our hearts.

not dilating at all, of ignoring my new genitals until they went away. I gathered my things and went to my bed. Clinically, I inserted the dilator, hoping I was doing it right.

As a thought exercise leading up to my operation, I would google things like “pencil skirt” and stare at smooth groin areas in all of the pictures. A few times I queried “gender reassignment surgery,” and was horrified at the pictures. I like looking at myself in underwear now, perhaps because women in underwear are considered sexy in our culture, while women’s genitals under examination are not.

In my most anxious moments prior to this trip, when everything seemed too dangerous, I would try to calm myself by remembering women from around the world do this every week with this same surgeon, and that I’d heard of no incidents occurring.

If they could do, my reasoning went, I could, as well.

And I have.

Leela Ginelle is a journalist and playwright lining in Portland, OR. You can write her at leela@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

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“WE EXIST”: A NEW FILM ABOUT LIVING OUTSIDE THE GENDER BINARY someone like myself to flourish in society; therefore I could not exist as my true self. All along this journey, I have carried a mental image of my young self to ensure I never stray from creating a product that this person can connect with, needs and ultimately benefits from,” says Lubin.

A s t h e f i l m re a c h e s i t s post-production phase, Lubin felt something crucial was missing. The “We Want You” cam“We Exist” reaches its post-production phase, and you can get involved. paign is that last puzzle piece—a

By Kim Hoffman, PQ Monthly recruitment of sorts—to let “We Exist” act as a deeper, more interactive platform for With just a few months until its release, anyone who wants to share their voices and this trailblazing documentary is launching be a part of the film. The film team is curan interactive campaign and wants you to rently accepting video submissions through get involved. the film’s website from now through March.

“We wish to make what was once invisible Every day, the spectrum of gender visible, and what was once silenced heard. expression is often rejected, mistaken, The benefits for getting involved in this hidden, and shadowed as a result of being campaign are threefold: Not only will you conditioned to the binary world we live in. be featured in a one-of-a-kind film, but also For transgender or gender-queer youth who your contribution will enable others who don’t yet know their place in the LGBTQ feel scared, alone, or unsafe to realize they community, this moment in social change are not alone—as well as show that we do, is enormous—the topics have hit the main- indeed, exist all over and all around,” says stream with aim—like Laverne Cox in the hit Lubin. You may even see a campaign flier in breakout series “Orange Is the New Black.” your community—including here in PortThere’s also that running community acro- land at the Q Center and other queer-cennym to contend: the Q in LGBTQ is to say tric places around town. that not everyone identifies under the same Once the campaign wraps and video unbending labels—to be queer is to be your- submissions are added into the film’s self, however you conceive that. Just like final cut, “We Exist” will unveil one of the the heavy breath a marathon runner takes most provocative movie posters out there, seconds before a race begins, the destina- along with the official trailer (I’ve seen the tion miles away, the outcome totally unpre- rough cut and it completely dismantled dictable, Chicago-native Lauren Lubin is me), leading to the release of the film in breathing life into a new film and its sub- spring/summer 2014. A promotional tour sequent activism. is underway thereafter where Lubin will For the past two years, Lubin has been travel to schools and film festivals, debutproducing “We Exist,” a film documen- ing “We Exist” while simultaneously providtary that follows individuals who exist out- ing Q&As, educational lectures, rallies, and side of the gender binary. At the center of a few more surprises. the story is Lubin’s journey through many If you ask Lubin what the culmination layers of emotional and physical transfor- of this film will be—the answer remains mation as we, the viewers, intimately travel full of robust lightness. It’s not about the along. This film has stirred up major buzz finish line, or how fast we run to get to it. all over the LGBTQ stratosphere, featured in “We Exist” may be one of the most importOUT, Curve, Autostraddle, and the Denver ant films we see in 2014. It will completely Post. Lubin was invited to speak at Chi- change the way we view gender. Where is cago Ideas Week in October 2012 where our trans visibility? How can we move forthe video of Lubin’s “Breaking Free of the ward in a binary world where everything is Gender Binary” speech became the most hot or cold, black or white, gay or straight, viewed video on the CIW website. man or woman? It’s time to breakdown the “I began this project to create a film and binary boundaries we’ve remained so stagshare a message that I so desperately needed nant in, once and for all. At the recent New to see and hear when I was a child. Grow- York City marathon, Lubin shed a tear while ing up, I never saw someone like myself watching the runners round the corner—so anywhere — be it in the media, film, litera- many people functioning toward the same ture, academia, or even legislative reforms. goal, paced as they go.

This lack of representation and visibility To get involved with “We Exist,” visit: led me to believe there was no space for weexist.co/Enlist/. pqmonthly.com

PERSPECTIVES

WHAT’S BEHIND THAT SILLY HANDBILL? A PARTY GIRL’S CONFESSIONS AND CRITIQUE

By Katey Pants, PQ Monthly

For the past five years I have been promoting queer parties, DJ’ing, and trying my best to create safer spaces that are celebratory of queer culture and all kinds of queer bodies. I think a fundamental part of creating culture is a vibrant nightlife. What we create and do matters and I do not think the party scene should be written off as shallow or without substance. Our party scenes are places where accessible grassroots art, fashion, and intellectualism flourish.

Many political talks start in bars and lead to real action in the streets. Many amazing clothing experiments start out with a house drag queen and make it to the runway.

Many musicians are trying to make their living playing for your drunk asses and end up with a record deal if they’re really good. Queer nightlife serves as both a touchstone for people to connect with each other off of the Internet, but also serves as a hub of artistic expression on so many levels.

This attention to nightlife requires design, prolific, fresh ideas, and a hustle that requires being outside of yourself and free from your ego. This is all fine and well; however,

across the board anywhere is a damn handbill or poster design that has to be made. These little things can range anywhere from pieces of art to absolute wastes of public space and ink toner. These little things are fought over for hours before they make it to the Internet or the press.

These little things are a nuisance to club owners and have caused me to be removed from a couple for flyering.

These little things get discarded as coasters or drink covers while you go take a smoke break. These little things can be such tragic and amazing expressions of queer nightlife.

These little things have so much character underneath them and it’s fun to look at how design, queerness, and nightlife meet on just a four-by-four piece of paper. Let’s take a look at the fierce and not fierce—it’s an art and a science, my friends.

The Original Image: It is totally okay to rip off an image from the Internet, from an old Honcho magazine, a phone sex ad from the 80s, a picture of a cheeseburger, or an Instagram photo of your friend. Pluses for original art and illustration—but sometimes we don’t have time, skills, or resources. However, it’s not okay to have those pictures look like there is no difference between your party and a frat party full of terrible people focused on Adonis body types, to have an image that just looks like a liquor company threw up on it, to have a bad resolution photo leading to a pixelated disaster, or to have an over-exposed crappy flash photo of the drunk patrons at the bar that are probably pissed that you put their face on a flyer.

The Font: It is acceptable to have clean font that might be seen as boring, to use colors that are not just black and white—it is not acceptable to have more than two fonts on

a flyer. And yet, that has yet to stop our biggest offenders from using Comic Sans, Papyrus, and stencil lettering all on one flyer. Why? Stop. I promise. You’ll feel better. Trust.

Layout and Design: It is cool to have no idea what you’re doing and just put it out there. I would rather see shitty flyers made by earnest party girls than to see boring flyers created by basic and lazy club owners.

In general, behind and underneath our flyers is this need for connection to bring queers into a space. There is a tension in design and practice with mainstream successful gay nightclubs and that of DIY queer nights fully that are fully funded by the DJ’s themselves (with low or no budgets). Polished flyers are only as good as the thought and intention coming from them. Good intention and effects are what make images into art and art into culture instead of just gay crass advertisement. Queers do not really need bars as the only place to meet people to have sex with anymore. We have the Internet for that.

Now that we are in this space our old modes of design are out. We cannot accept same generic trash full of liquor ads and crappy techno. And thankfully we don’t have to. Art and design belongs to us. Let’s go get it and hold ourselves accountable and enjoy the criticism that comes from putting your ideas and images out there.

Katey Pants lives, loves, works, cries, feels, and laughs a lot in Portland, Ore. She makes poor people art on a budget, DJ’s all over the place, makes silly perverted jokes to people at inappropriate times, mediates daily, thinks critically about fashion, and is studying to be a Chess Master. Catch her at her quarterly party in PDX called Control Top or her monthly party in Seattle called Mooseknuckle.

BUSINESS BRIEFS PQ Monthly would like to congratulate Jason T. Scott on his recent promotion to Vice President, Treasury Management with Columbia Bank.

Jason is a Native Oregonian who very much enjoys living and working in his home state. Hiking Forest Park, Dog Mountain, and other strenuous trails, along with being an avid runner, keeps Jason fit. To balance his brain from working numbers in the banking world, Jason enjoys painting, drawing, and studying architecture. Jason is a very active member of our community, contributing his energy and knowledge to three very important foundations: Board President of the Portland Festival Symphony; Committee Member, “Fire on the Columbia”—a fundraiser event for the Oregon Crusaders; and he is also on the Development Committee of the Equity Foundation.

L4L DANCES Since August 2007, Vicki Sullivan has been putting on the monthly rockin’ “Ladies4Ladies” dances at Embers.

These lively dances are open to women of all ages. A large variety of music is played—from Rock to Disco, Country, Motown, Latin—from the 60’s to current hits. For a mere $5, pqmonthly.com

women can dance their tushes off from 5-9pm, typically the second Saturday of every month. It is best to get on the L4L. PDX@juno.com email list for your monthly invites. “L4L is a super fun evening for women to get out and dance or just relax and catch up with friends. We really enjoy putting this event on every month. It is a women-only event.

L4L also has two campouts each year that are absolutely wonderful,” Vicki tells me. At L4L birthdays, anniversaries, or specials events are announced and celebrated by the ladies. Song requests and dedications are also easily accommodated by the DJs at L4L. Embers is located at 110 NW Broadway and has an amazing drink menu to quench your thirst while dancing and having a blast! The next dance is from 5-9pm on Saturday February 8, 2014. Please check out L4L.PDX on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/ events/760787003937680/ SEND OUT CARDS I thoroughly enjoyed the “Gay and Grey Expo” that happened a few months ago in St. Johns. There were many wonderful vendors, including “Rainbow Accounting,” “AARP,” and even “Urban German.” Mmmmm…wurst…. with a hot spicy bratwurst in hand, I meandered the expo and found my very favorite vendor: Send Out Cards by Marcia. Marcia Solberg was delightful and introduced me to the concept of purchasing, customizing, and personalizing actual paper cards online, which then get mailed to your recipient, by her company for a very affordable price.

As soon as I got home that evening, I contacted Marcia and she walked me through signing up…it was so simple.

Our company now has an account, which gets used every week. I have wanted to connect with people in a personal way, not just via email, and cards are so wonderful. But to go to a store purchase a card, put a stamp on it, and then drop it off at a post office, is quite honestly too much work for my tight schedule. With Send Out Cards by Marcia, I have sent many beautiful cards in just minutes per card! I can thank people, say hello, congratulate them, or touch base after breaking the ice with a potential client with a more personal approach than an email, which just stacks up in people’s inbox. Along with the card, Marcia can even send out gifts, like brownies. The brownies definitely get me a thank you call from the recipient. Marcia showed me the amazing selection of cards and how to customize and personalize the inside with various fonts, pictures, colors, and so much more. There is even an option for a simple postcard! Now no matter where I am in the world, I could get online, download a photo and send a postcard to my friends back home. This concept is perfect for any business person or someone who just loves to keep in touch with people with a personalized card. The time, money, and convenience this concept saves me, simply cannot be beat. Please connect with Marcia Solberg of Send Out Cards at 971-235-2257 or www.SendOutCards.com/cardsbyMarcia. Mention PQ Monthly to Marcia and she will help you send out a card to your favorite person, for free!

Do you know anyone who has been promoted at their job?

Please let us know by emailing Gabriela@PQMonthly.com.

--Gabriela Kandziora January/February 2014 • 11

FEATURE

“FEELING VERY HUMAN: JUDGE KEMP SPEAKS OUT ON CANCER, COMMUNITY, AND VULNERABILITY”

By Nick Mattos, PQ Monthly

ent for his lover. “I was just so worried about him,” says Schnell, visibly upset. “He was in a state of shock, and I didn’t know how he would engage with the news. I didn’t want him to It’s the first week of 2014, and in a quiet North Portland neighborhood the Kemp- go through it. Honestly, I’d go through it myself before he went through it. I wanted to put a Schnell house is still lit up for the holidays. A thirteen-foot Christmas tree covered in safety net around him, let him experience and express anything, and feel safe in doing so.” lights and baubles shines its light over a broad couch where Judge Kemp and his partner While Kemp clearly has excellent support from his partner, many gay men facing prosEric Schnell sit comfortably, holding one another’s hands. The room is full of tasteful art tate cancer primarily find their support from the community around them. “It is not that and subtly nostalgic heirlooms; through a wall of picture windows, a lit fountain bub- single heterosexual or gay men do not have social support, but that the center of that supbles in the garden. The scene is one of romantic coziness, holiday cheer, and modern gay port is different, and is less likely to be centered around a marital or marriage-like partner achievement, down to Kemp and Schnell’s muscular arms visible beneath the fabric of and more likely to be embedded within a network of friendships and the broader GLBT their shirts as they hold their glasses of red—the sum of the setting indicates nothing but community,” notes Blank. health, love, and comfort. However, tomor“It’s been interesting talking about it and dealing row is the day that the decorations get taken with it socially,” notes Kemp. “When I first started down—and in a few weeks, Kemp will begin talking about this with people, it was hard to say the treatment for prostate cancer. word ‘cancer’ aloud,” notes Kemp. “It still sounds A government worker and writer, Kemp funny to me to say ‘I have cancer.’ However, when I tell had been working on a project exploring people, usually the first response is ‘I’m so sorry,’ A lot his family history of health problems when of people have been sympathetic and shown so much he began to manifest numerous alarming support, moreso than I realized… and it’s enabled lots symptoms. This came as a great shock to of folks to come out of the closet, so to speak, to tell Kemp; as an Eagle Scout, a former model, me about their experiences with prostate cancer. The and a five-day-a-week gym-goer, Kemp has sick irony of it is that I’m now part of a club.” lived the textbook “healthy lifestyle” for his “All of our friends have been telling me — we’re all entire life. After consulting his doctor after going through this together,” adds Schnell. “I mean, a time of watching and waiting, the doctor dozens of our friends have said this. It’s very humbling, ordered a biopsy. “The thought of a biopsy seeing everyone during the holidays. It’s brought us didn’t seem comfortable, so I pooh-poocloser to all of our friends.” hed it,” Kemp explains. “In October, I finally “This is something very hard to share,” says Kemp, decided to go for it, and I have to say, this “especially the nature of this cancer, because some prostate biopsy was one of the most incredpeople are afraid to talk about anything this peribly uncomfortable things I’ve experienced. sonal… some folks didn’t even know what a prostate I was hoping that we’d find that I just had an was or what it does.” enlarged prostate, but that everything else “The emotional pain has really been the touchy was fine—but instead, I tested positive for part. It’s rumored that I’ve been a little edgy!” Kemp cancer. This was the Thanksgiving gift that quips. “I’ve felt off in a lot of ways. I’ve had to reach out was given to Eric and me.” to people around me, have some conversations that Kemp’s story should not prompt a dash are sometimes hard but often help. I’ve accepted it, to the doctor for a screening, especially as though—I’m going to have highs and lows, and the practice of prostate cancer screening itself is not I’m just being honest with the people around without its controversies. In 2011, the United States me about them. I’m glad that I’m able to share Preventive Services Task Force issued a statement what’s happening in my life and in our life, recommending against use of the prostate-specific because I’m just not going through this alone.” antigen (PSA) test in otherwise healthy men, noting “Now that he has this news out there, his that PSA test-based screening “results in small or entire vibe has calmed significantly—he seems no reduction in prostate cancer–specific mortality grounded,” says Schnell, squeezing his partand is associated with harms related to subsequent ner’s hand. “I’m proud of how open Judge has evaluation and treatments, some of which may be been with all of this and the positive impact unnecessary.” Dr. Richard J. Ablin, the discoverer of he’s had on the people around us. When somePSA, agrees with the USPSTF’s finding, and stated in body lets their guard down and shows their a 2010 op-ed for the New York Times that in his view vulnerability, the people around them are able the test’s popularity “has led to a hugely expensive to bring their guard down. It opens the door to public health disaster.” get closer to one another, by taking off a layer However, organizations including the American or two and exposing something more raw, Urological Association note that the controversy taking down a wall.” isn’t rightly about screening itself — rather, it cen“My walls are definitely down,” says Kemp. ters around how screenings influence the decision “Part of me just wanted to go hide in our bedto treat. The American Cancer Society, while not suproom. However, because of the love and comportive of routine screenings, recommends that men munity around me, it’s made me feel safe, that Judge Kemp: “Part of me just wanted to go hide in our bedroom.” considered at high risk for prostate cancer (including I can talk about it and be vulnerable without African-American men) start talking with their doctors about prostate cancer around age 45. fear of judgment.” He sets his wine glass down on the table thoughtfully. “I am feeling very Despite its prevalence amongst men in general, there are shockingly few studies look- human right now, certainly, but I am feeling very strong too—and I wouldn’t if I wasn’t ing at the specific impacts that prostate cancer and its treatments have upon gay men. making myself so vulnerable and getting so much love in return.”

“The assumptive reality of virtually all research and clinical information related to issues Tomorrow, Judge Kemp and Eric Schnell will take down their holiday decorations. of sexuality [and] sexual function [in regards to prostate cancer] and [its] impact on rela- They will unstring the lights from their tall Christmas tree, wrapping each ornament in tionships is that of married men in long-term, presumably monogamous relationships,” newspaper for safekeeping. However, tomorrow has not come yet. For now, they sit illunotes researcher Thomas O. Blank of the University of Connecticut. Blank observes that minated in the glow of good times, the evidence of a community of support all around “this ‘reality’ leaves both gay and bisexual men and heterosexual men who are single” out them. Kemp sits ensconced in the center of it all, looking down at his hand in his partof the clinical picture of what having and treating prostate cancer does to a man. ner’s, a smile spreading across his face, his shoulders relaxed, his heart exposed to the Kemp’s partner Schnell had no idea what to expect, but set a firm intention to be pres- future and what it will bring.

12 • January/February 2014

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FEATURES PERSPECTIVES FEATURES

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January/February 2014 • 13

SPORTS

PERSPECTIVES

SAVE THE DATE!

MONTHLY

PQ’S 2ND ANNIVERSARY PARTY!

FEBRUARY 20TH

JOIN US IN CELEBRATING DURING OUR FEBRUARY PRESS PARTY AT • January 16, 2014, 5P.M.-7 P.M. WIEDEN + KENNEDY (224 Northwest 13th Avenue Portland, OR 97209)

14 • January/February 2014

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AROUND THE NW

FEATURE

“SOCIAL MEDIA HAS NOT REPLACED PRINT.” QUEER YOUTH, STONEWALL, AND THE LAVENDER MASSACRE

Lotus Rising aims to maintain its status as invaluable resource. Our prediction: They’ll succeed.

By Kim Hoffman, PQ Monthly

It all began as a youth support group meeting in 2004 at Southern Oregon University. “After a few years of this affirming experience, the youth decided they wanted younger youth — high school age — to have the same affirming experience and that they wanted to openly embrace diversity of all kinds and invite the community to do the same,” says Executive and Development Director Kathy Bates. Such was the birth of the Lotus Rising Project — a non-profit agency that would pick up from where the youth support group left off, it’s mission: youth empowerment, the fight for equal rights and social change.

As of January 6, the LRP opened their new lending library doors—a space that houses 2,719 books in nearly 20 different categories, catalogued into a database of LGBTQ history, education and archival of our queer writers. The bulk of these texts were turned over from the Abdill-Ellis Center in Ashland. That center closed its doors in 2010, but felt their large collection of books deserved a good home, the LRP. Elizabeth Morag, the LRP’s Not Straight Not Sure Coordinator, along with the help of her daughter, spent about 20 hours over this past summer cataloguing, shelving and arranging the checkout system for the new library. And who better to be at the helm of such a large undertaking than Morag — who taught and received her Master of Arts in Women’s studies?

“It is our hope, and will be a promotional focus, to reach out to the general public to avail themselves of this rich history and explore contemporary issues, as well as for the exploration of our youth,” says Bates.

Deep regard for education has always been LRP’s main purpose, beyond creating a safe space for LGBTQ youth. The space — an office suite in Medford — houses a resource center, one meeting room, a lounge area, the new lending library and the Del’s House pantry — a generous resource for homeless or near-homeless LGBTQ youth and adults that offers food, clothing and hygiene products.

Bates describes the initial dream of the LRP’s founders to create an entire house as a community center. To get there, first LRP pqmonthly.com

must outgrow its current space and receive proper funding. In the meantime, the fire behind the makers and movers at LRP burns bright, and the importance of maintaining a community hearth for LGBTQ youth, especially here in Oregon where ballot measures affect our rights and our potential for progress, is vital. “[We were] drawing on the image of a lotus, which blooms beautifully out of the muddy bottom of the lake, rising like a Phoenix would out of the ashes of a life often in turmoil,” says Bates.

It’s a Zen visual; it reminds us to go inward and empower from within. Isn’t that our hope for youth in our community — to find peace and vitality from within? The LGBTQ youth of today deserves an abundance of education; they deserve to know where we came from, how we fought, who was involved — they need to know about Stonewall and the Lavender Menace. There must always be a place where these texts are archived and accessible.

In a digital age where we can become so easily saturated by media, as we continue to fight the uphill anti-bullying battles in schools and online, while we grapple with each teen suicide we read about in the news every year, LRP is an invaluable place to create a little glue in the life of someone seeking support. “Social media has not replaced print. Many youth still read books for self-validation and to educate themselves. Still, our library serves the entire community of all ages, which includes those who were not raised on social media and who value books. Our library contains books of historical significance, a record of our LGBT history. Readers will find that history in our library, including feminist texts, among others. Also, we feature an extensive fiction section for self-affirmation and entertainment of queer readers,” says Board President Julian Spalding. “All texts in our library deserve to be preserved as the voices of generations past and present.”

Visit the new lending library at the Lotus Rising Project: Hours: 3-6 p.m. Monday through Friday Woolworth Building, 29 N. Central Ave., Medford 877-577-2244 www.lotusrisingproject.org

January/February 2014 • 15

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16 • January/February 2014

EVENTS

ON CHICKEN STRIPS AND LOVE BALLS A Month So Full, Our Calendar Spills Onto a Second Page.

When I realized Chicken Strip is set to celebrate its second birthday, I decided to sit down with the show’s architect (Dillon SillyBus Martin) and hostess (Melody Awesomazing). (After I listened to Amy Grant’s “Oh How the Years Go By” on repeat one very lazy Saturday morning.) Chicken Strip is like Bridge Club or Love Ball, still young and new but so important to our community one can’t really imagine nightlife without it. And as it grows, so does its undeniable legacy.

On the most gratifying thing about creating and maintaining Chicken Strip, from Dillon: “It’s nice to see what was once just a feeling or loose idea come to life and actually work. I’m very happy and proud of that. I feel like I’ve spent years of my life rambling on about ideas and saying I wish it was this way or that way and never doing anything about it. It can be very exhausting to have ideas circling around your head and never see them realized.

Just as important, it’s gratifying to see people—both friends and people I’ve never met—enjoying the show. While some acts may be better than others, people really like this party. I’ve even had people on Grindr tell me that. I love that people see a need for this type of show in Portland and they actually look forward to it like I do. I’m also obsessed with building community and seeing that actualized. I’m very pleased that performers seem to have a blast—I think performers in general are interesting and sometimes mysterious magicians. I’m also happy to say every performer gets paid because it’s extremely hard and sometimes grueling work.”

“Someone recently came up to me at a party and said that Chicken Strip changed their life and really affected them positively in terms of their self-esteem and wanting to do drag,” Melody adds. “They saw me on the cover of PQ, which made them feel good about themselves, and inspired them to bring their looks. It really made me feel incredible— and it reminded me why I perform.”

On recruiting and cultivating talent, from Dillon: “It happens differently every time. I think sometimes people think that a show is orchestrated in some perfect way, just how it was ‘supposed to be.’ But it’s far from that. Shows are chaotic. The first show came together in a weird, organic way because my friend and drag queen from San Francisco, Avocado Jones, was coming to Portland and I just threw it out there to some Portland performers and then, bam, I had a show that I thought was super rad.

After that, I was like, well, I guess this is gonna be a level and it’s real now.

Sometimes I find performers because it’s someone I know and other times it’s by recommendation. Sometimes it’s just a feeling.

I like boundary pushers so I’m looking for that. I like the freaks. I like people who make you think and laugh. I also have a strong appreciation for traditional drag and the art of costume design. I like to see a show and be impressed. I think audiences like to see a mix of something familiar but also a strong element of the unexpected, and that’s sort of been the model for the show.

I lived and studied Cultural Anthropology in San Francisco for about 7 years.

Just like everyone is a deejay in Portland, everyone in SF is a drag queen. I was around fabulous, weird drag all the time. When I moved here, I really wanted to build on what was already in place and inject some freshness into it. I saw a need to continue Portland’s history of edginess and genderfucking—but I wanted it all in one show.”

One more thing: Mr. Martin is throwing a new party with DJ Sappho called “Turnt!

Up!”—starting February 28 at East End. Think performances and queer basement dance party.

Next: Calling all kiki gods and goddesses, Love Ball is back and ready to werk. Put on your best color of shade and get your houses in order, because Valentine’s Day is going to be looking real good at Embers.

No longer a fresh-faced debutante, Love Ball has moved to a bigger venue with better viewing to show off all your beautiful faces on February 14. We saw some fierce queens and kings last year, but who will take home this year’s trophies, cash prizes, and title of Queen of the Moment?

Categories this time around: Bitchcraft, Hi-Femme, Creature Feature, and 82nd & Twirl. Shitney Houston, Michael Talley, and Lisa Dank will be judging. (Start working your looks now.) Portland’s Queen of the Balls, Miss Chanticleer Tru, hosts and MCs, while Stacy Stl Lisa gets the children in line to steal the night. Bomb Ass Pussy, Lisa Dank, and Kizmet will open the night with a musical performance, and Bridge Club’s Hold My Hand will supply the tunes alongside SPF 666. The queen of queens, Gula Delgatto, will lend her expertise to the visual aesthetics of the night.

Performers: Email Loveballpdx@gmail. com and reserve your spot in a category, because this shit will fill up, as usual. See you at the ball, loves.

--Daniel Borgen

pqmonthly.com

GET OUT! Readers: This month there are five weeks between issues, which means not everything fit into our print calendar. Stay with us online for weekly updates! (And look to your left for more events.)

PQ PICKS

THURSDAY, JANUARY 16 PQ Monthly Press Party: Mix and mingle with the makers of your favorite queer newspaper—writers, artists, this party has it all. This goes down every third Thursday, at rotating venues. (Mark your calendars.) You’ll never know who you’ll gaze at from across the room, maybe it’s your new soul mate. This month: Wieden + Kennedy. (Such a glamorous locale!) 5pm, 224 NW Thirteenth. Free, clearly.

Free HIV & STD Testing: Committed to the health of Portland’s community, Hawks PDX offers both free HIV and STD testing, twice monthly. Presented in conjunction with Cascade AIDS Project and Multnomah County Health Department, you can check your status to protect your health and those you play with, as well as speak to counselors if you have questions. Hawk’s PDX, 234 SE Grand.

Dark Night of the Soul II: This, queens, is everything—what started as a kernel of an idea by our beloved Jason Myers has turned into a storytelling behemoth.

No matter the incarnation, Home Theatre System delivers. From the architect himself: Back for a second year, Home Theatre System proudly presents another storytelling experiment in stand-up tragedy. Watch these queer men flaunt their shame, heartache, and failure as they take off their “mascs” with nonfiction tales of vulnerability and darkness. 8pm, Old Town Floyd’s, 118 NW Couch. $5 FRIDAY, JANUARY 17 Caravan of Glam heads on down to Eugene, continuing their regional domination. Ecstacy Inferno, Isaiah Esquire, Artemis Chase, Allie McQueen, Jayla Rose Sullivan and some special guests will wow you at Wow Hall. (See what we did there?) Also, the Caravan is asking party-goers to help name this party, because apparently it’s graduating and becoming a regular event. Hot damn! 8pm, Wow Hall, 291 West Eighth, Eugene. $10/$5 in drag/ costume. Salem is on the agenda, too. Stay tuned online!

Jelly Roll: A size-positive dance party. The sweet roll is back—come and dance your “sexy ass off” to the tunes of DJs Aurora and Chubby Chaser. Go-go dancers all night, and treats on every table aim to make it your perfect night. This party is for all people of all sizes—fat friendly/LGBTQ friendly/everybody friendly. 9pm, Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE Eleventh. $3.

Queertopia: This is the time of year where you decide how to overhaul your life, I suggest you start with going to radtastic shows. This month promises to be totally fagtastic— Stand-up comedy and burlesque! Belinda Carroll, Sophia St. James, and more. 9pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 18 Rose City School of Burlesque: Burlesque 101 is the perfect class for the beginner—no matter your shape, size or experience. Burlesque 101 is an introduction and gives students a taste of what burlesque performing is.

Burlesque 101 is a 10-week course that will cover the history of burlesque, creation of a persona, burlesque hair and makeup, costuming, bump and grind dance movement, as well as a recital for and intimate live audience. For more information, go to: http://rcsob-101.bpt.me/.

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Burlescape! Burlesque & boylesque wrapped in a taste of tease! Zora Phoenix, Isaiah Esquire, Tod Alan. (And there’s more than that, kids.) Zora is a treat and a treasure—and so are her shows. Try one out! 9pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. $10.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 19 Camp Starlight Art Benefit: Come on down to The Cleaners at Ace Hotel, 403 SW 10th Avenue in downtown Portland, Oregon (corner of SW 10th & Stark).

Complimentary beer, wine and hors d’oeuvres. Admission is free. All ages.All proceeds from the purchase of art will go directly to Camp Starlight, a week-long summer camp for children in Oregon and Washington whose lives are affected by HIV and AIDS. Dozens and dozens of artists—literally dozens.

Naked Bingo. Oh my! “What’s more fun than BINGO? BINGO in your skivvies! Come play, $2 a card or 12 cards for $20. BONUS CARDS for playing in your skivvies. Strippin’ down could win you some stellar prizes.

Drink specials and a raffle.” I had to quote the caps. I am both intrigued and terrified. Early enough you can catch the Divas. 6pm, Scandals, 1125 SW Stark.

MONDAY, JANUARY 20 Gay Skate, sponsored by yours truly (PQ Monthly). Every third Monday. Join Sock Dreams, the Rose City Rollers, and all the amateur skaters in the city at the one and only queer skate night. Work muscles you never knew you had — I know this is where you’ll meet your next life partner. Innocent, yesteryear fun at one of the last all-ages, booze-free events. 7-9pm, Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way. $6. All ages.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 21 Poison Waters & Friends Happy Hour: The queens are back in Al’s Den for one of their notorious Happy Hour shows! This time around the fabulous queens include Alexis Campbell Starr, Kourtni Capri Duv, and Topaz Crawford— and they will help celebrate the 102nd birthday of the historic building that is now home to McMenamins Crystal Hotel and the 100th Birthday of the Crystal Ballroom! Whew, that was a mouthful. Sorry, I copied Poison word for word. 5:30pm, Al’s Den, 303 SW Twelfth. Free.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 25 Administration’s Improv Comedy Benefit Show: Go to http://www.basicrights.org/event/administrations-improv-comedy-benefit-show/ for details.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 30 Laid Out, Lick it Up. Read Dance It Out—these boys know how to party. Bringing the gay back to Thurs-gay.

DJ LunchLady returns—yes, of Cafeteria fame. So pretend Laid Out and Cafeteria had a big gay baby! And get your asses there.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8 Q Center’s Annual Winter Gala. My favorite movie turns into a party as Q Center presents “Masquerade: Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil.” Presented by The Standard, this is Q Center’s primary fundraiser for the year, tickets purchased vital community resources survive and thrive. Info/tickets: http://www.pdxqcenter.org/

SATURDAY, JANUARY 18: Beareacuda PDX. I have never been to one of these parties that wasn’t absolutely packed—wall to wall bears. Part terrifying, part amazing. From the party-throwers: We’re back for our first party of 2014 with hundreds of guys in attendance! Last January was one of our biggest nights of the year—so don’t miss it.

Bearracuda moves down to Branx for one big night for maximum dancing and fun-$6 gets you in to the party with plenty of dancing, socializing, tasty snacks and friendly, furry guys. Snacks, guys, music—what a value! 9pm, Branx, 320 SE Second.

FEATURES Want more? We’ll give you everything. Head over to pqmonthly.com and check out our online calendar of events, submit your own events, and peruse photos from your reporters-about-town. Also, remember to carefully examine our weekly weekend forecast — with the latest and greatest events — each Wednesday (sometimes Thursday), online only.

--DANIEL BORGEN

pqmonthly.com/get-out

DANCE IT OUT (CHEERFULLY PAY YOUR COVERS; DEEJAYS GOTTA EAT, TOO.)

FIRST SUNDAYS Bridge Club. A slew of stellar deejays play music on the city’s most treasured patio. Old Boys Club regularly welcomes special guests. Snack, mingle, get down. Bridge club is delighted to announce its permanent new home—Vendetta! No winter hiatus this year, lovelies. 3pm, Vendetta, 4306 N Williams. Free.(Watch for their new Drag Race party starting, you know, when Drag Race starts.)

Every Sunday. Superstar Divas. Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Ginger Lee (who’ll soon retire), and guest stars perform your favorite pop, Broadway, and country hits.

(I. Love. These. Queens.) Dance floor opens after the show.

Competition to find the Next Superstar Diva is on! I’m calling it the Drag Queen Hunger Games. (And it’s coming to an end so soon—Sunday the 19 is Ginger’s farewell show.)

8pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free!

FIRST THURSDAYS Dragathon (every Thursday). Sponsored by Smirnoff, this Drag Race-esque competition features 11 queens and celebrity judges, hosted by Ecstacy Inferno. Goes down early enough you can still make the late show. (These Caravan of Glam queens are relentless with their work ethic.) 8pm, Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE Eleventh.

Dirt Bag. Keyword: Bruce LaBruiser. She’ll make all your musical dreams come true. Indie, pop, electro, all of it. Dance to the gayest jams. 10pm, The Know, 2026 NE Alberta. Free.

Hip Hop Heaven. Bolivia Carmichaels hosts this hiphop-heavy soiree night every Thursday night at CCs. Midnight guest performers and shows. 9pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free.

FIRST SATURDAYS Sugar Town. DJ Action Slacks. Keywords: Soul, polyester. 9pm, The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42. $5.

Maricón! Ill Camino rotates special guests and reinvents Crush with his beloved once-monthly dance party. (Moisti will still make cameos.) For homos and their homeys. 10pm, Crush,1400 SE Morrison. $3.

SECOND THURSDAYS I’ve Got a Hole in My Soul. Three keywords, the most important being: DJ Beyondadoubt. Others: soul, shimmy.

9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5.

SECOND TUESDAYS Bi Bar—thank our friend Cameron Kude for pointing this out to us. Bi Bar is every second Tuesday at Crush, and it’s an open, bi-affirming space for music and mingling. Correction: Bi/Pan/Fluid/Queer. 8pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

SECOND SATURDAYS Mrs.: The queen of theme welcomes its new hostess, KajAnne Pepper! And dynamic DJ duo: Beyondadoubt and Ill Camino. Costumes, photo booths, all the hits. 10pm, Mississippi Studios, 3939 N. Mississippi. $5.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 23: Class is in Session! The Impact of Health Care Reform. Naughty substitute teacher Madame Anita DuMoore is going to take us to school in Miss Alexis Campbell Starr’s gym class. Here’s your chance to hear about the Affordable Care Act, and what it really means to the LGBTQ community, including how you can get enrolled for health care with assistance from Cascade AIDS Project’s Cover Oregon team. Here’s what you can expect: Confessional storytelling, guest speakers on a variety of LGBTQ health topics, musical numbers, prizes, free food, beer/ wine available to purchase, and a Q&A where CAP answers all of your “burning” questions. Ouch! That burns. 6:30pm, Old Town Floyd’s, 118 NW Couch.

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THIRD WEDNESDAYS Comedy at Crush: Belinda Carroll and a slew of locals rustle up some funny. Special guests, and Crush’s signature cocktail and food menus. Donations, sliding scale. (Comics have to eat and drink, too!) Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

Beat It at Black Book: Samuel Thomas has a beautiful new night all for you at one of the city’s most exciting new(ish) venues. (We know, Sundays are already real, real gay.) A monthly event celebrating everything from beards and tattoos to butch queens. Mark your calendars: THIRD Sundays. Hosted by JC Powers, killer deejays. 7pm, Black Book, 20 NW Third. $3 (free if you have a mailed invite) THIRD THURSDAYS Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-the-day language, music, and elegance. An ease-you-into-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys make the music. Bridge and tunnel patrons have no idea what to do with us when we pour in. Hint: it’s always the Sunday we go to press. 10pm, Vault, 226 NW 12. Free.

THIRD FRIDAYS Ruthless! Eastside deluxe. DJs Ill Camino, Rhienna. Come welcome new resident deejay Rhienna and listen to the fiercest jams all night long. Keyword: cha cha heels. 10pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $3.

THIRD SATURDAYS Gaycation all you ever wanted. DJ Charming always welcomes special guests. (For January, Mary welcomes DJ K. Marie and Troubled Youth.) Be early so you can actually get a drink. Sweaty deliciousness, hottest babes. THE party.

9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5.

FOURTH THURSDAYS Monsteroki. You read it right. Gula Delgatto hosts an evening involving her own special brand of karaoke. Sometimes she decides the song, sometimes you do. (She sings! She dances!) 9pm, Crush, 1412 SE Morrison. $3.

FOURTH FRIDAYS Twerk. DJs ILL Camino and II Trill. Keywords: bring your twerk. The city’s longest-running queer hip hop/R&B party--where artists, deejays, performers come to mix, mingle, and move on the dance floor. Established fun, all night long.

9pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.

FOURTH SATURDAYS Blow Pony. Two giant floors. Wide variety of music, plenty of room for dancing. Rowdy, crowdy, sweaty betty. 9pm, Rotture/Branx, 315 SE 3. $5.

Filth: (Formerly Hey Queen!) For the party girls. The more intimate, shoulder-to-shoulder Saturday night choice. Bruce LaBruiser and special guests. 9pm, Beulahland, 118 NE 28. Free.

LAST THURSDAYS Laid Out, Bridgetown’s newest gay dance party. Seriously, the posters read: “gay dance party.” Deejays Gossip Cat and Pocket Rock-It, with photos by Eric Sellers. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $3 after 10pm.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 31: Chicken Strip, Palm Springs Edition. (I like to pretend I inspired this party.) From the adorable Dillon: It’s been so cold and so dark here in Portland, I think our souls might freeze over. DON’T shrivel up! For only $5, take a getaway—to Palm Springs!

We’re talking spray on tan, oversized sunglasses, glamor, sun hats, bikinis, banana thongs, boobs, butts, muscle queens, drunk queens, and dancing queens. Performances, art, fashion, queens—what more could you ask for? The birthplace of many a queen. 9:30pm, Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE Eleventh. $5.

January/February 2014 • 17

FEATURES

Photos by Eric Wainwright, Wainwright Images • Art Direction by Nick Mattos and Steven Lien • Models: Chris Brown, Roger McKeever, Daniel McCulloch, Camron Hamilton, Shaley Howard, Kim ‘Kizmet’ DeLacy • All products provided by underU4men, 800 SW Washington, Portland — unde 18 • January/February 2014

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PERS{ECTOVES

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January/February 2014 • 19

PERSPECTIVES

NIGHTLIFE SPORTS

WHISKEY & SYMPATHY

Hey Gula & Monika,

I hate to say this, but: my boyfriend is really poor. He’s just made a lot of bad financial planning decisions over the years, and now he’s in huge debt and terrible financial straits. I really like him, maybe even love him, but dating him has become a significant financial obligation for me. I was really sad to realize the other day that, even if gay marriage does pass, I wouldn’t be able to do so with him because I wouldn’t want to incur his credit problems as they stand. Worst of all, he’s extremely sensitive about the issue and we can’t really communicate about it well. Help?

Thanks, Broke’s Boyfriend in Buckman

Gula

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SUP, BROKE! Before I drop some truth from T-boz and the gang on “scrubs,” I need you to sit down and ask yourself, “Would I rather be in love in poverty, or be alone in financial security?”

The answer is your answer. This is the sort of thing, however, that you could have figured out on your own and already knew in the back of your head. It strikes me that you’re just looking for permission to dump your boyfriend. So here it is.

You have the Megahertz stamp of approval. But I want to be clear on something, you are the asshole.

He should have dropped you like dubstep long ago, but I think you’ve probably been ducking the issue for so long and have likely allowed him to become financially dependent on you. Straight couples deal with not getting married over debt and so could you, but if you already know you could never marry him, and he wants marriage in his future, you are leading him on. You love money more than his dick and you need to tell him. You need to let yourself be the asshole in the breakup. He’ll hate you more, but get over it faster and you can get on with your middle-class dating self.

However, you need to make sure that he can get on his feet after the breakup. This goes double for when one partner relies on the other financially, but as the break-er you have some responsibility to make sure they get on their feet and not on the street.

For future reference if money means that much to you, you’ve got to set those boundaries much earlier on, because in this economy jobbing while queer keeps us on bottom in the worst way: fiscally. But send your ex my way, I’ll buy him a drink. One fiscal bottom to another.

Love, MHz

Significant financial obligation! Harsh. We are probably not going to get along by the end of this column, you just called your partner (someone you are thinking about marrying) a financial obligation. Yuck. Did your better half get into dire straights because of health bills, school loans? Stock market crash or did he gamble and spend all his dough on strippers and coke? Is there some guy he owes a lot of money to? What kind of loser are we talking about? (Doubt he’s a loser—shit happens, especially in this economy.)

If you could get married you wouldn’t want to incur his debt… Careful what you wish for! MARRAGE MEANS YOU ARE A TEAM NOW. You share everything… you will be incurring his family, animals, bad furniture and more importantly his financial problems. I lived with a straight couple with the same money troubles you are in—the girl was on top of every bill, the boy had huge debt due to school, living on credit and an accident that wrecked car he still has to pay off. But they did it anyway. As a team they worked together and made it out of debt in no time. I think it made them stronger to come together, communicate and not blame or shame. They now bought a little house in NE. Now for the help…You need to sit with yo man and tell him your fiscal fears. Money troubles seem to be a big problem for you—I can see why it might make him a little sensitive. Get him a financial adviser! Most banks have one you can meet with and when a plan is made, your stress will lower. I am no Suzie Orman (I do like a colorful blazer), but I would imagine she might agree. Or you could always ditch the coin drain and hook up with some stock market guy that looks great on paper and is miserable in practice. With the fortune you will rake in you can roll around naked on some cash and love it more than that poor boy you dated—and actually loved— that one time.

Good luck and remember: It’s just money, honey.

XOXO Gula

Need some advice from Monika and Gula? Send your query — with “Whiskey & Sympathy” in the subject line — to info@pqmonthly.com.

Monika MHz is a DJ, queer trans Latina, and a feminist/Xicanista whose relationship status is “it’s complicated” with dubstep. Kinky, prudish, sexty, or cyber; survival, straight, queer, gay, double queer (with a trans woman), or lesbian — if it’s sex, or a mistake, she’s been there, done that. Monika is an activist working hard for marginalized populations and runs a program offering in-home HIV testing for trans women. When not writing, she’s probably off somewhere making a dick joke or peeing while sitting down, like a champ.

Gula Delgatto’s life began in a small rural farming town in Romaina. She was scouted singing in a rocky field picking potatoes by a producer of a “Mickey Mouse Club” type ensemble. While touring the Americas the group fell apart due to jealousies and drugs. She later transitioned from Vaudeville to starring on the big screen to woman’s prison, and eventually advised the Dali Lama on fashion n-stuff. Currently she’s taking her life knowledge and giving back in an advice column for PQ.

pqmonthly.com

PERSPECTIVES

CALENDAR FEATURE

THE LADY CHRONICLES WHEN HE’S REALLY, REALLY JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly

Ringing in the New Year is always a welcome reprieve for me—not just because I always take that week off work from the latte factory (in exchange for selling my soul the other ones), but because my friends Michael and Lane make their annual visit here from Fayetteville, Arkansas. It used to be Iowa, but they’ve upgraded. This is mostly noteworthy because, as Michael is fond of pointing out, he’s one of my last friends with whom I’ve never had a “break.”

(Interpret that as you will.) No fights, no estrangement—it’s been a veritable long, happy marriage. Movies, Powell’s, fine dining—in that week, year in and year out, we live it up like the most active of retirees.

At our annual New Year’s Eve shindig (an evening where I may or may not have been in bed by midnight), a friend of mine asked how it is Michael and I remain so close with so much distance and time between us.

(Lane and Michael moved away several years ago.) “For me, it’s so often out of sight, out of mind,” said friend commented. Michael and I looked at each other and shrugged. It’s hard to nail down the intangibles when it comes down to that sort of thing; it’s hard to explain why it’s easy breezy when some people come into town after a long hiatus and why it’s the opposite for others.

Certainly part of the reason is Michael often serves as my dating sounding board.

Though he much prefers interrogating you with a researcher’s passion, he gladly offers a constant ear and mostly unbiased, detached advice. As he can tell you, my venting over winter break took on epic proportions because December was a fairly eventful month. A few declarations in honor of Michael’s unwavering ear: Unless you explicitly declare your intentions that indicate otherwise, I think it’s fair to assume romantic intentions—maybe sex or something that lasts a bit longer— when you’re meeting someone from one of our many dating apps. Especially if you make aggressive electronic overtures. Late last month, I met a gentleman for cocktails, hoping to loosen up a bit before we made our way to dinner. (If I am anything, I am nervous like a virgin on her wedding night during these first-time-together scenarios.) I arrived, we chatted a bit, threw martinis down our throats, and after a bit he said, “Oh, you thought this was a date?”

Dinner with his actual date was super fun (he invited him along), and did wonders for my first-time-together anxiety. (I’m not sure why I stuck it out.)

And sometimes you’re clearly on a date and you know it. A few Saturdays ago, on a particularly sunny weekend day, I had

coffee in the Pearl with a tall, handsome, red-headed d r i n k o f w a t e r.

Coffee turned into conversation, conversation eased into happy hour, and happy hour turned into an early dinner. It was one of those serendipitous blocks of time where you think you’ve possibly happened upon a goldmine.

Dinner turned into an overnighter.

Morning came, and we went to breakfast before parting ways. Shockingly, all the chemistry from the day before evaporated, and our meal was long and quiet.

I still haven’t figured out where the camaraderie goes, how you go from romantic comedy to sad documentary. We didn’t see each other again.

One of the most unpleasant things about using apps like Grindr—aside from the “no fems, masc only” type profile declarations— are the people who respond to greetings with “uh no thanks” or “God no.” I’m not sure there’s any need for that, simple lapses in response time (or none at all) will do. I am very middle-of-the-road in the looks department (and I’m OK with that), and not every single thing with a penis within 500 feet is my type. But I don’t rip into those I’m not interested in. I just don’t understand the point. Or the good it does. Same goes for using your device to say snarky things to your exes.

During one of our meals together, I grilled Michael about his successful, longterm relationship. (I already know Ryan’s advice by heart. “I think you just bring them out and introduce them too soon.” “Stop trying to make it something it isn’t.”)

“A successful relationship is more about acceptance than anything,” he said, noting there’s a distinction between accepting and settling. “Your other half is who he is, and you stop trying to change what you can’t.”

You are not better or worse for your differences; they just are. (Perhaps that’s the key to enduring friendships, too.)

One of the best things about a long-lasting friendship—aside from being able to pick up where you left off virtually anytime, anyplace—is watching your friends’ relationships blossom. There’s something really special about seeing the beginning and being there for most of the ride. One of the first times I met Michael’s now-partner, Lane, was at a tipsy group viewing of “Match Point,” wherein my friends and I offered Mystery-Science-Theater commentary throughout. Our behavior didn’t thrill Lane; we eventually hit it off; the rest is history. Now I can’t imagine Michael without him.

Which is why I will forever hold out hope, dating catastrophes be damned.

Email Daniel@PQMonthly.com with your dating tips! He loves advice. pqmonthly.com

January/February 2014 • 21

NIGHTLIFE OPINION

TWO COURT CASES, A BALLOT INITIATIVE, AND ONE BIG GOAL have spent years laying the groundwork for a win, meaning that they have been out in local communities across the state, knocking on doors and having thousands of conversations about the freedom to marry for all. Oregon’s LGBTQ community is unaccustomed to seeing the initiative process produce anything but heartache, but the campaign’s philosophy rests on the idea that a ballot measure can be used to raise consciousness and to educate the public about the lives of their LGBTQ friends and neighbors. And ultimately, the clear possibility exists that Oregon will hand the national movement its first voter-initiated repeal of an anti-marriage constitutional amendment. It is impossible to overstate the value of such a Paul Rummell and Ben West are among those challenging Oregon’s marriage laws via the courthouse. win to LGBTQ couples nationwide.

Into the mix now come a pair of court

By Mark Johnson Roberts, PQ Monthly cases. Both filed in the United States District Court in Eugene, the cases seek to test Measure 36 on federal conIt seems everywhere we turn these days, state bans stitutional grounds. The cases rest on the United States on marriage for same-sex couples are falling. Eigh- Supreme Court’s decision this past summer in United teen American jurisdictions (17 states and the District States v. Windsor. In that case, the court held unconstituof Columbia) now allow same-sex couples to wed on the tional the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which prohibsame terms as opposite-sex couples. Here in Oregon, our ited federal recognition of legal marriages for same-sex constitutional exclusion of marriage for same-sex couples couples, lawfully contracted in those states and countries is being challenged both in court and at the ballot box. where they were performed. Because the court ruled in The ballot measure is a long-term project of Basic Rights a five-to-four vote, and because it did not decide whether Oregon and other local and national advocates, who have states could ban marriage for same-sex couples, the outformed the Oregon United for Marriage campaign to pass come of the cases must be regarded as uncertain. the Freedom to Marry and Religious Protection Initiative.

The Utah case now pending before the United States The measure seeks again to amend Oregon’s constitution, Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals provides a good illustration removing the prohibition on marriage for same-sex cou- of the shortcomings of litigation as a way to advance LGBT ples and affirming in the constitution the right for all cou- rights. The District Court judge, Hon. Robert J. Shelby, ples to marry, without regard to sex. The measure also clar- held on December 20 that Utah’s Amendment 3, which ifies in the constitution that religious institutions reserve banned marriages for same-sex couples in the state, was the right to marry whom they choose. The campaign is in unconstitutional. His ruling tracked the Supreme Court’s the process of collecting enough signatures to put it on the Windsor analysis precisely: “Utah’s prohibition on sameballot in November. sex marriage conflicts with the United States ConstituThe ballot initiative serves a variety of purposes. Most tion’s guarantees of equal protection and due process importantly, of course, it would repeal the noxious Mea- under the law. The State’s current laws deny its gay and sure 36 language adopted by Oregon voters in 2004. But lesbian citizens their fundamental right to marry and, in there is more to it than that. BRO and its allies literally so doing, demean the dignity of these same-sex couples

for no rational reason. Accordingly, the court finds that these laws are unconstitutional.”

The State of Utah responded by appealing to the Tenth Circuit, but both courts denied a stay, so the state began marring couples immediately. Within a week of the ruling, Utah had issued over 900 marriage licenses to same-sex couples. But on January 6, the Supreme Court issued a stay, halting the marriages and casting into a legal limbo those couples already married. The Supreme Court’s ruling on the stay raises the clear concerns that the Court is still interested in the issue, that it might take the Utah case on appeal from the Tenth Circuit, and that the five-vote majority in Windsor might or might not hang together on the larger question of full marriage equality for LGBTQ couples.

Whatever other concerns might be raised about proceeding through a ballot measure, being overturned by a higher court generally is not among them. Also, as BRO is proving with each day that passes, a ballot measure can be used to engage and educate the public in ways that a court case cannot.

Again, Oregonians have not had positive experiences with handling ballot measures and litigation simultaneously, but today the dual-pronged approach is quickly becoming the method of choice for advancing marriage equality nationwide. While litigation can be seen as providing a “quick fix,” the Utah experience shows how that promise can be unfulfilled. And a ballot measure, although it is a major endeavor, can support litigation in two ways— first, by creating an environment favorable to getting positive results from the courts, and second, by building support among the public for a court’s decision and making it less likely to fall to a subsequent political attack. Without public support, we see outcomes like the one in Iowa, where a number of Supreme Court justices were turned out of office by the voters following that court’s ruling in favor of marriage equality.

While handling litigation and a ballot measure at the same time may seem confusing at times, it appears to be the best and most certain way to achieve marriage equality in Oregon as quickly as possible. Although the precise path is not yet clear, LGBTQ Oregonians can be excited that—it appears—we will not have to go another year without having marriage for committed same-sex couples right here in Oregon.

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PORTLANDWINGS.COM 22 • January/February 2014

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PERSPECTIVES

ARTS ARTS & & CULTURE CULTURE

AUTHENTICITIES

By Nick Mattos

1) It’s 2013 and I’m standing beneath the mid-summer sun at Edgefield. On the stage, Florence and the Machine finishes up a song; beside me, Jean and Racquel clap and scream towards her in encouragement.

“Oh yes!” the frontwoman Florence Welch exclaims into her microphone, visibly elated by the energy of the crowd and whatever she may have smoked before she took the stage. “For this next song, I just want you to just be yourself!”

The crowd roars in response. Jean— who, as an Authentic Movement instructor, wrestles with the question of the “true self” as a living—looks at me and smiles.

“Does she think we not being ourselves before?” she asks.

“Yeah, perhaps?” I say. “Maybe she’s using ‘be yourself’ as shorthand for ‘dance crazily?’”

“Maybe, but really, I think I was ‘being myself’ all day,” Jean notes. I agree with her.

2) There’s this marvelously wise and funny guy on Facebook, Duff McDuffee, who once made an observation about the nature of authenticity that has stuck solidly with me. To paraphrase, he observed that, as one becomes more and more complex a person, it’s actually impossible to be fully “authentic” in a given moment— one simply has too many different facets of themselves to display them all in a given interaction or even relationship. In this regard, being a whole and well-rounded person actually works against one’s ability to be authentic.

3) I know this kid’s type well—he is young, handsome, and far too bitter for his own good. I am twenty-five, hanging out at a gay bar by myself, and I’ve stumbled into a conversation that has rapidly gone downhill.

“I realize I haven’t really introduced myself,” I say to deescalate. “I’m Nick.”

With the wild eyes of a man who can’t hold his vodka soda, he starts lashing out at me. “I know who you are!” he says says.

“Everyone here knows who you are, and you’re fake!”

“Is that so?” I say, perhaps reinforcing his assertion by doing my best to hide my real annoyance and discomfort. I hem and haw for a moment, focus intently on the cigarette I’m smoking so as to avoid his gaze.

Later, I’m walking home over the Hawthorne Bridge in the rain, and that guy’s words ring in my ears. Am I “fake?” So much so that “everyone knows” except for me?

The brutal truth hits me: I didn’t want to go down to the bar in the first place that night. Dressing up and schlepping down to Vaseline Alley to try in vain to chat up men was indeed me acting “fake” because, were I to be honest with myself, I’d rather stay in my room, clad in sweats like a proper depressed dude. The terrible fact was that, by dragging myself out of bed at all that day, I was already behaving in a profoundly “inauthentic” way. I sigh in agreement with him and keep walking home.

4) I’m thirty now and honestly I couldn’t print anything on this page that would sum up what my “authentic self” is. There was a time—a long time, really—in which, when giving the elevator speech as to who I was, I could deliver a litany of descriptors and walk away feeling like I’d summed myself up well. That time is gone.

5) BLOOP ! My computer spea kers announce that I’ve received an instant message.

“I realized something today,” I read.

Google Chat tells me that my best friend Ryan is typing, typing, for what seems like far too long a time. I step away from the computer, pour myself a glass of water, look out the window at the stormy night.

BLOOP! “A fake thing is just a real thing trying to be another real thing,” Ryan says.

“I agree,” I type to him.

6) W hen do I actually feel like I’m “being my authentic self?” When I’m in the shower, alone, with the hot water hitting me in the shoulders and running down my back and no thoughts in my mind beyond that. When I am deep in the throes of Transcendental Meditation with the waves of my mantra giving forth to silence. When I am awake in the early hours of the morning and, though my bedroom window, I see the streetlight outside click itself off in response to the light of a new day.

I can agree with Jean and with Ryan, with Duff and with the bitter boy at the bar, certainly. However, each of these moments points to something much stranger and much more beautiful: I feel most “authentic” when I’m the least “me,” when my own actions and my own descriptions are farthest away from my mind.

Nick Mattos has been struggling with ontological problems in print for quite a few years now and doesn’t intend to stop anytime soon. Reach him at nick@pqmonthly.com pqmonthly.com

January/February 2014 • 23

FILM PERSPECTIVES

ARTS & CULTURE NEWS

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One year ago, I sat down with a Pacifico and PQ Monthly. After spending years navigating queer communities as a woman presumed cis, I was nervous about talking openly and publicly about being a trans woman for the first time. The risk of losing access to the community I loved was terrifying, but with confidence I naively declared, “I’ve always felt like Portland would be one of the best places to live openly as a queer trans woman of color.”

I’m an unashamed extrovert and I rely on real life local community for support—and it just wasn’t there as much as I’d like. While I’ve been blessed to know and befriend some of the most amazing trans women around the world, I felt their absence in my local community. I also believed I had the opportunity to be, as my friend and sister of fire Laverne Cox puts it, a “possibilities model” for other trans women; I could show the world (and my city) all the possibilities of who we can be as not only trans women, but women. I wasn’t depressed—I was full of joy—forging sisterhood with other trans women is a priority for me.

A heartbeat after the article dropped, I was a national stage trans woman being honored by the inaugural Trans 100, starting a nonprofit, and writing. I did so many things, I even found myself sharing a stage with KOKUMO. It all escalated quickly, but a dark cloud found its way underneath my smiling facade: The hate mail, disgusted party patrons, being maliciously referred to as “that guy,” people I date having their queerness socially revoked, party goers grabbing my chest and groin; it all overwhelmed me. I was just not prepared for the taste of high school to come flooding back from my “safe” queer community. The Internet harassment alone would have taken its toll, but it was the sting of the Internet coupled while having my local support networks destroyed that was devastating. My naïveté was apparent.

The feelings of distress started to creep with each helping of pain the world—along with “my” community—dealt. My lungs and joints slowly tightened as my asthma and arthritis worsened. I got shaky and restless with destructive thinking, joining in alongside panic attacks. I began bursting into tears in public, and pulling away from people and things that brought me joy. I truly began to believe what I’d been told: I didn’t deserve joy, love, safety, or even life.

And when each round was over, the anxiety left a sticky residue on each moment and day that followed.

By a month after Pride, I’d begun to have crisis-level emotional lows that tasted like my pre-transing youth. That crisis level depression, and the perceived physical pain that accompanied it, led me to reach out for help in my more lucid moments.

Without much of a family, I called the queer community, but time after time, and crisis after crisis I was left in the dark, cold and crying. Even as things became more frequent, more severe, and more urgent.

Despite increasing my community involvement, my local support network was still left bare, scorched for the audacity to tell the world I was trans. The adventures to the “trans community” in Portland weren’t much better, either being dominated by trans men or, more recently, being excluded for being a trans woman while welcoming cis folks instead.

A year since that story, I’m a national possibilities model and I cherish the friendships I’ve forged with trans women across the U.S. since, but it all cost so many spoons.

With near-daily anxiety attacks, coupled with severe depressive lows, a quickly failing health, and no real life community to lean on, it’s hard not to wonder where we all went wrong.

Are we all so wrapped up in our modern Facebook and dance party-filled lives that we forgot what a community was? Or is it just trans women who face this sort of large scale isolation? We talk such a big game about mental health and ableism, but we do so little to help those who are most likely to be affected. There is no magic pill; it takes a village.

Ok, so here’s the deal—there is no happy ending. As I continue to do work in the public eye, it’s only certain the harassment will intensify along with the symptoms. All that pain with no support system is not a tenable place to be, but this is how we ask trans women in our society and communities to live. Writing this column, and my limited celebrity, means I’ve got a better chance of finding the help I need, but what about those who don’t have a voice? I’m ashamed.

I’m ashamed of all of us. We keep failing our way up the mountaintop of universal marriage—using the trans women who forged the path forward as a foothold on our way up. Something’s gotta change.

Monika MHz is a queer trans Latina who makes her way as a Portland-based House music producer/DJ, activist, and writer. Practicing radical love through music, she believes in the transformative nature of music and its real substantive and cultural power to save lives. You can find Monika online at monikamhz.com and @MonikaMHz.

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January/February 2014 • 25

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PERSPECTIVES

THE COMEBACK KID THE MIRROR

By Andrew Edwards, PQ Monthly

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I wake up freezing at 9:18 a.m. on the fifth of January and immediately make my way to the shower to warm up. Twenty minutes later, the bathroom mirror is fogged over with steam, and as I step out of the tub my blurred reflection is no more than a vague amalgam of flesh colors and human-like shapes. I take the damp hand towel from its hook beside the sink and wipe the mirror clear. The image of my naked body is now in glaring focus. As the steam dissipates, I wonder how many times in my 27 years I have carried out this ritual. How many thousands of showers have I taken, followed by even more thousands of minutes—if not hours—looking at myself in the mirror and, more often than not, feeling dissatisfied with what I see?

As a closeted gay adolescent with little athletic ability or interest, my relationship with my body was always a strained one. Before the growth spurt that added six inches to my height in one summer, I was chubby and wore my shirt while swimming. When puberty invaded my brain with unwelcome thoughts about the boys in the locker room, I couldn’t tell if what I was feeling was attraction or envy. As an awkward, bookish, too-tall high schooler who somehow hung around with two football jocks and a track star, I was so self-conscious about how skinny I was that I refused to wear short sleeves to school.

The common thread throughout those years, and one that remained tied to me into adulthood, was that I constantly—even obsessively—thought about my body and wished for a different one. I spent hours mentally dissecting it in the mirror, noting every square centimeter of skin and physical feature that needed improving. The list filled volumes. My disgust was perhaps disproportionate to the actual state of my body, but self-loathing is rarely rational. So, at 23, I resolved to wrest control from my insecurities and joined a gym.

My reasons for working out—I can recognize now—were rooted in pure, plain vanity.

Becoming healthier was a welcome side effect of exercise, but it wasn’t the impetus, or the goal. What schlepped me to the weight room at 24 Hour Fitness every day was the idea of pecs that bulged through my shirt and biceps with veins like a topographical map. I choked down protein shakes and counted calories so that I could finally look like those guys in the locker room (who I now knew I had both envied and desired).

I became a true cliché—“juicehead!” my best friend mocked. My genes may have precluded the specific musculature in my

fantasy, but for the first time it seemed possible that I might attain a body I was contented with. The more I sweated—the fitter I became—the more I obsessed.

Which, of course, was exactly the wrong way to go about silencing the disapproving voice in my head. Every time I piled more weight onto the bench press or spent an extra ten frenzied minutes on the spin bike, his hiss grew louder and more condescending. “More,” he demanded. “More. That’s not enough. You’re not enough.” Obsession begets obsession, it turns out, and with every workout my hypercriticism reached a new and dizzying level. I now honed in on unwelcome aspects of my anatomy with a scalpel’s precision. After a few years of diligent weightlifting, and with a body my adolescent self would have undoubtedly admired, I was spending more time frowning into the mirror than ever before.

So here I stand, at the start of the year.

It’s the season of the resolution, when gyms become more crowded than airports and the Internet transforms into one giant support group for the juice-cleansing masses.

I’m naked, water dripping from my hair and fingertips and pooling on the brown linoleum, staring myself down like so many times before. But this time it’s different. It occurs to me: It’s been three months since I last went to the gym—the longest break in four years of mostly consistent attendance. Three months that spanned Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday, and 2 billion calories.

And it’s been precisely as long since I carried out that timeless bathroom ritual of self-excoriation. My body is pale from underexposure, pudgy from overindulgence, and I feel OK. No, I feel great—satisfied, even. Somewhere over the past season, the cycle broke. I can’t pinpoint when or how or why, but I can feel the shift as palpably as I can the January cold. Maybe it’s the change in habit. Maybe it’s growing up, or being in love. I don’t think it matters. Eventually I will make my return to the gym—I have grown fond of feeling healthy.

But obsession? That’s so last year.

Andrew can be reached at andrew@pqmonthly.com.

26 • January/February 2014

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ARTS & CULTURE

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January/February 2014 • 27

BOOKSNEWS MUSIC

MUSIC VIDEOS SHINE POSITIVE LIGHT ON TRANS WOMEN: PET SHOP BOYS, AVICII, AND MORE

By Leela Ginelle, PQ Monthly

Negative portrayals of transgender women in mainstream entertainment, are, sadly, quite common. Lately, though, some innovative directors have found a different, more humanizing way to tell transwomen’s stories onscreen in music videos.

The videos for Avicii’s “Silhouettes,” the Pet Shop Boys’ “Winner,” and Matt Nathason’s “Kinks Shirt” all feature transwomen-friendly storylines that turn the tables on the derogatory stereotypes viewers are used to.

That was part of the idea for “Silhouettes” director Victor Kohler. “We wanted to create something that would challenge the often very stereotypical way people are portrayed in house music videos,” Kohler said.

The video, which Kohler wrote and directed with his partner, David Dworsky, unfolds as a mystery/thriller, cutting between a woman enjoying a night of clubbing and romance, and a lonely man preparing for a medical procedure. Only at the end does the viewer learn they’ve been watching the same person, and that the procedure is a GRS. “I think the way the story unfolds with the twist at the end made people aware of how they subconsciously categorized the characters in the story,” Kohler says.

Avicii, who is ubiquitous today with his hit “Wake Me Up,” was ascendant when this clip was made, but Kohler says the star had no hesitations about the story’s subject matter.

“Both Avicii and his management were excited about the idea from the very beginning and there was no resistance from them in any way,” Kohler says. “I think he often tries to do things in a way perhaps not expected of him, both in terms of the music he creates and the videos that go along with it. “ Kohler says the video’s idea germinated from the song itself, which is about rebirth, which suggested the subject of gender transition. Like Avicii, Kohler appreciated the fact that such a story challenged prevailing ideas, noting that “it’s something that’s not often portrayed.”

“It was also an opportunity for us to show people something that they might not be used to, hopefully impacting them in some way,” Kohler says.

The video sprinkles in moments of humor, such as a

surgeon shaking a CD player in the operating room, which has become glitch-y, and stopped playing “Silhouettes,” and a quick shot of Avicii as a chef on a cooking show chopping a cucumber in half—a bit of delicious foreshadowing that rewards multiple viewings.

This tonal variance was part of the filmmakers’ design, Kohler says. “We did not want to make it all into this very one dimensional, serious and heavy video but also add some other elements to it as well.”

The video for “Winner,” by the Pet Shop Boys, features a transgender woman who works up the courage to join a roller derby team in London at the start of her transition, and is embraced and accepted by her teammates.

The video masterfully captures the fear and discom-

fort adult transwomen feel entering society as their true selves. Director Theirry Albert, who made the video with his creative partner Faustin Claverie under the moniker the Surrender Monkeys says the pair did not know any transwomen when they made the clip, but that, to them, these feelings are universal.

“We all have been at one point or another in our lives an outcast and felt we didn’t fit,” Albert says. “It’s always hard to go against the norm and grow as an individual. It needs courage and resilience.”

Like Kohler, Albert says he and Claverie were inspired by the song they adapted. “We thought the theme of the song about winning would work perfectly with a transgender woman who tries hard to be part of a sport team. Then

the Roller Derby girls seem very open minded and feel like a very close community who would welcome anyone with open arms.”

Albert says he and his partners own experience informed their story, as well. “The fact that we, the Surrender Monkeys, are two French directors who live in London surrounded by English speaking people helped a bit.”

The video begins with interviews with various roller derby players before developing into a story. The Pet Shop Boys don’t appear in the clip, but Albert says they were enthusiastic about the idea. “[They] loved the idea and were very supportive of it.

But they didn’t want to be in the film to let the story breathe, which was a good call. We thank them for that.”

Matt Nathason’s “Kinks Shirt,” is a beautiful statement of transgender equality. The video portrays Nathason as a man smitten by a stripper. It cuts back and forth between scenes of the two in romantic situations, and Nathason in the audience as the young woman performs.

At the end of her performance when she, tastefully, reveals her gender, Nathason applauds, turning seemingly limitless examples of trans panic from our culture on their heads. She’s the girl for him, end of discussion.

Unfortunately, neither Nathason nor his record label responded to our requests for an interview.

Transwomen, having been portrayed so badly for so long, can be a difficult audience to please, but both Albert and Kohler say they’ve earned praise from the audience.

“We got some very nice feedback from the transgender community and it means a lot,” Albert says. “I also believe the Pet Shop Boys got some lovely letters. It was a tricky idea and it could have gone very wrong.

Fortunately, everyone loves it.”

Kohler says he and Dworsky had similar concerns.

“There was a real worry in how this would be received by the transgender community. If people would dismiss it, or become offended because we simplified the process too much, but as of yet we have not gotten any negative feedback on this.”

“One woman told us she played the song and video on repeat in the time leading up to her surgery, since we had given it this new meaning for her. That was really humbling.”

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PERSPECTIVES

OPINION

BOMB ASS PUSSY ON “TRANNY” & “CHOLA”

Bomb Ass Pussy on the rise. First Love Ball, then the world.

By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly

Kitty: Hola Jeau: Hola estamos Bomb Ass Pussy.

Mixxxy: Why are the two of you speaking Spanish?

Jeau: I thought we doing an interview in Spanish because Kitty said, “Hola.”

Mixxxy: She always says Hola.

Kitty: Yeah, it’s part of our heritage. Who we are and where we come from. Because I’m proud to be Latin!

Jeau: Yes you are girl. We all are.

Mixxxy: That, and the fact that she’s trying to get other people in the habit of saying it too.

Jeau: To share our culture with others?

Mixxxy: Yes, but not really, she’s actually afraid of being sued, because people see her and say “Hello, Kitty” all the time.

Daniel: Okay. Hola Kitty, Jeau and Mixxxy—how do you each identify?

Kitty: As a human being.

Mixxxy: I think he wants you to be more specific.

Kitty: All right. I’m an exotic, erotic, hypnotic, robotic, supersonic, man-lusting, woman-loving, sexy, confident, educated, trans-woman. Bam! Jeau: Robotic?

Kitty: It rhymed.

Jeau: (laughing) Shut up, you’re dumb.

But, that’s why I love you. Anyways, I’m gay, just gay.

Mixxxy: Yes, I’m sure I’ve handled enough dicks to be considered gay.

Daniel: How many is that?

Mixxxy: One, it only takes one other than your own, and then you’re hooked.

Daniel: Kitty, you said you consider yourself a trans-woman, how do you feel about the word “tranny”? And, as a group what frustrates you most about being “called out” for using it in your song “Daddy Issue”?

Jeau: She’s the one who says it.

Kitty: First off, I don’t like any form of hate speech, but it’s out there. I’ve learned to become more tolerant of others’ ignorance. I challenge my own ignorance because I know that I cannot fully understand the meaning of a word if I’m not listening to the whole pqmonthly.com

sentence. Don’t we learn that in third grade grammar? My verse in the song “Daddy Issues” is written about men who fetishize trans-women. To them, we are mere objects of sexual desire. It’s my take on what I experience from those individuals’ issues with me. I am not speaking hate or for anyone else, only my reflection on the issue and the language they choose to use. The song is on our Sound Cloud (https://soundcloud.com/ bombasspussy). There’s a link on our Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/wegotthatboomboom). I would not allow someone to disrespect me, but just like the word slut, sometime in bed I liked to be called it. I love to get my naughty slutty tr**ny titties, yeah you like that don’t you, you little…

Jeau: Damn girl.

Kitty: Sorry, I got excited.

Mixxxy: Sometime things get misunderstood or misinterpreted, but that’s why it’s important to actually listen. Plus, if you got a question comment or concern, you can hit us up. We really like interacting with people who see us perform.

Daniel: What’s your response to critics who say BAP is out of line for talking about “Chola Wit A Gun”? I’m talking specifically about that weird/concerned blogger who called the band out after seeing the show before the Jinkx performance.

Jeau: “Aint nobody got time for that” Kitty: (laughing) He don’t know my life!

That song is a tribute to strong women who handle life as it was given to them. It’s not to promote violence, Chola’s gun is her strength, and as long as she stays strong she’s gonna be ok. It takes a true understanding to know what that is like. Not to mention it’s about my mother, I am proud of where I come from and I refuse to let anyone shame me for it.

Jeau: So what we’re not brown enough now? I’m just kidding, but we don’t pay much attention cuz people got…

(Kitty Jeau and Mixxxy all say): AUDACITY! Mixxxy: It’s the new single we are dropping. It’s our take on people just having the nerve. See we take whatever energy is there and turn it into something useful!

Jeau: We’ve been hard at work and trying to get our album put together. We been hanging and collaborating with Kizmet (Kim Delacy), who just got back from tour. Lisa Dank in Seattle says she’s got something dangerous for us. We are on the way up and people who don’t like that are gonna come at us. It’s cool, let them come because we got one another and we keep each other focused.

Mixxxy: There’s a lot to come from Bomb Ass Pussy in the near future. We’ve taken the time off of performing to handle business. The only show we have on our plate right now is on Valentines Day performing at The Love Ball.

Kitty: I love balls.

Editor’s note: To be clear, Kitty identifies as a trans woman. So stop calling her a drag queen.

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STYLE

STYLE: DECONSTRUCTED (PART I)

People come from all over the city to see Red Light’s now-famous (infamous?) windows on SE Hawthorne.

(Editor’s note: First in a series that will feature members of our entire community)

By Michael Talley and Eric Sellers, PQ Monthly

In a city teaming with fashion, personal expression, and trend setters, we wanted to get into the heads of some of Portland’s stylish LGBTQ icons. To me style is not made in magazines, malls or on television; it’s personal—hence this style-deconstruction.

Wolfgang’s style caught my eye the first time I saw him. Earlier this year he was out in a club kid circa 1994 outfit, metallic silver jacket and matching pant, with silver platform high top kicks. Stalking him on social media, I quickly learned that this boy was a fashion force to be reckoned with. Not only with his own personal style, but lending it to the most amazing window displays at Red Light clothing exchange. Come with me as I dive into the mind of one of Portland’s fashion elite.

Name: Wolfgang Age: 34 Occupation: Store manager/display/stylist/go-go dancer PQ: What age were you when you realized style mattered?

Wolfgang: Very early on I wanted a different style. I tried to emulate Punky Brewster and Cyndi Lauper. Into my teens I became interested in the NYC club scene even though I was way too young. I started making my own club clothes to wear to school. Silver pants and spray-painted blue combat boots made a good first day impression. My grandma was a display artist in decorator in NYC when she was younger. I know I gained a lot from her. She was always impeccably dressed every day.

PQ: Who gives you a style boner today W: Anyone who is not afraid to wear something shocking/unusual. The best fashions

are the ones that make people stop and stare.

PQ: What is most valued article of clothing you have purchased?

W: Valued as in worth in money—that would probably be a late 80s Nirvana T-shirt that turned out to be one of their first tour shirts ever. Valued as in worth to me—a Jean Paul Gaultier full length Strawberry brocade jacket that looks straight out of Bram Strokers Dracula.

PQ: Do you wear jewels? What accessories are a must have in your closet?

W: I wear some. Mostly just large costume jewelry or rosaries. I would never pay much money for jewelry since I tend to lose it so easily.

PQ: The soundtrack of your closet—list four songs that are on your Style EP? W: Felix Da Housecat—“Money, Success, Fame, Glamour,” Bjork—Violently Happy, SSION—“Weird Yearz,” Jean Paul Gaultier—“How to Do That” PQ: Eat, drink, scene—what do you nosh? What’s your sip? Where are your haunts?

W: Well, I love a good 2:30 a.m. Sizzle Pie and Hoda’s on Belmont for Middle Eastern. Drinking is good at any happy hour. I like Crush or Starky’s for a nice stiff drink.

I tend to do a lot of parties like Blow Pony and Chicken Strip. Love seeing people get dressed up. I haunt Tumblr a lot for good fashion/styling ideas.

PQ: Shoes! Let’s talk shoes. What do you need?

Brands, colors, styles?

W: Well I have giant feet [PQ: Oh My], so shoe shopping is always a challenge. When I find a pair that fits and is my style I wear them to death.

I love a really well made boot from John Varvatos or MOMA. Shoes are the one thing I don’t mind breaking the bank on.

PQ: You have a time machine. Go back in time and buy new vintage from any era. What would you get, from where and when?

W: Easy! I have a very big love of 70s glam rock and most of it hardly exists now or is just already being coveted by collectors. I would buy it all up and live a Velvet Goldmine life.

PQ: You’re going on vacation—where would you go? What one item is a must-bring?

W: If it’s a style vacation then it would be Japan. Love to visit the clubs and Tokyo’s famous tailors. People over there really know how to push style limits in amazing ways.

The one thing I always bring is my patent leather combat boots. They go with everything.

PQ: Who’s you favorite artist, fashion designer, musician and why?

W: I collect Jean Paul Gaultier stuff. Especially from the 90s. I have strong love for Yohji Yamamoto’s tailoring and Peggy Noland’s wonderful use of pop culture in her designs.

I listen to SSION a lot and look to Cody Critcheloe for some fashion inspiration. Also Bjork and Goldfrapp are always playing in my room.

PQ: What’s your most irritating fashion faux pas?

W: Mass-produced anything. UGGs. Active/sportswear when you are not actually being active or playing a sport.

PQ: Where are some of your favorite places to shop?

W: Well I work at The Red Light, so of course I find amazing things there. Especially in our Halloween collection. I find great pieces at the Goodwill bins. Worth the dig if you have the patience. Palace on Belmont always has a score and a wonderful gender-free shopping experience. eBay is always fun too.

Look for future profiles of Every Letter, Every Color in future editions!

Nick Mattos can be reached at nick@pqmonthly.com.

32 • January/February 2014

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PERSPECTIVES

Pretty And Witty And Gay

BRINGING A CRITICAL EYE TO THE GARDEN

A GUIDE TO GETTING LAID

BY A GIRL IN LIPSTICK AND HIGH HEELS

By LeAnn Locher

By Belinda Carroll, PQ Monthly

As a certain kind of girl (no, not that kind) I realize that I’m treated like a wandering and confused straight girl at even the gayest of events. A gaggle of butches try to help me: “Ma’am, are you lost? Do you know where your fag is?” The only recourse is to throw the cutest one up against the wall and show them how it’s done. Of course, by “it,” I mean a Taekwondo takedown. I show them where their kata is. What did you think I meant? We already covered that I’m not that kind of girl. Keep up.

See, my issue, lover pants, isn’t the term “femme invisibility.” It’s the fact that we queers have a visual “Is she or isn’t she?” that rivals the US Army’s. Without the haircut, no one knows you’re a soldier. And, sweetcheeks, I tried the haircut. I looked like a quasi-butch reject from Miami Vice.

I just couldn’t stay away from pastels. Don’t judge me.

What we need, my little tattletale, is a kick in the gaydar. Just because I wear a dress and more make-up than Hedda Lettuce doesn’t mean I can’t throw you around and make you call me Daddy. I have references. The question becomes, “Is she looking you up and down because she likes your shoes, or is she checking your credit to make sure you can afford her goods?”

Now, my dykeness, the inclination is to assume that if she’s in a gay bar or at a gay event then, at least, she’s probably looking to expand her horizons or, even better, she’s about to expand yours. I’ve had many people say that they don’t want to approach the devastatingly beautiful siren (DBS) in the corner because they don’t want to offend. Well, it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission, I always say. Plus, your DBS probably spent an hour to look like that, and her feet are killing her. If you don’t approach her, she’s going to try the haircut. You don’t want that kind of guilt.

But, you say, “I don’t go to gay bars, Momma, I’m a Buddhist monk.” Well, even if you are trying to let your DBS know that she’s the love of your life at an AA meeting or a book-

store (if you’re into that sort of thing), there are certain clues you can look for to reduce the chances of a restraining order.

We queers are like snowflakes; no two are exactly alike. Well, unless they are on the same softball team, but let’s not muddy the waters.

But just as all snowflakes are white when they fall, there are traits that we have in common.

The ability to mate for life on the second date, you say? Well yes, that is a commonality. Now stop interrupting, twinkletoes.

When looking for your very own DBS, I suggest you begin at the skin. No, don’t touch her without permission. Does she have any tell-tale signs: a rainbow-flag pin, a pink triangle patch, a tattoo that says “I (heart) sex with female-bodied people and sometimes male bodied people if they identify as female”? That last one was a little long perhaps, but you get the point.

For example, Yours Truly has two women ) joined on her upper arm symbols ( to let people know what team I’m batting for. Who could have foreseen, in the early 1990s, that my sex life was going to get so convoluted that my pickup line would become “What pronoun do you prefer, kumquat”? Now, I just keep it as a Queer Warning Signal. Thank God I didn’t get something horrifying, like a labrys or an homage to Melissa Etheridge.

If she’s not providing you with oh-so-subtle clues (like a drawing of Sappho on her forehead) you could do something revolutionary by not assuming anything. Go talk to her. Even if she’s as straight as Donna Reed (although that theory is contested), she may appreciate the company. If she drops no hint as to her libidinous tendencies, take the plunge and ask. If she’s offended, then good.

She needs the gay in her life. You may make her think, and then there’s a toaster oven in it for you. Who doesn’t like door prizes?

So, my little perishable, please take a chance that the girl in the high heels and eyeliner is queer. Even at the grocery store.

She’s not only being friendly, she’s checking out your produce.

Belinda Carroll is a Portland-based, nationally-touring stand-up comic, writer, vocalist, and an ardent LGBT activist who is in desperate need of a nap, a massage, and a girlfriend who works for an airline or a spa. For booking or to offer the aforementioned services, her email is BelindaDCarroll@gmail.com. pqmonthly.com

CULTIVATING LIFE areas of the garden. Wisteria? Prepare yourself. You’re soon to be whittled down to your We’ve been build- very nubs of main structure. Friends who ing our garden for 16 have admired the 8 foot tall Scheherazade years and through this lilies? It’s your lucky year. I’m digging and time, my approach dividing and gifting at least a dozen of them. to it has shifted and I still believe in planting tightly together. changed. In the begin- It keeps weeds down and I love the abunning, I focused on dant look and feel of a garden bursting with plants for full sun and ones described as discoveries. But having that kind of garden fast or vigorous growers. Anything to help means to not hesitate to wield my pruners fill in what felt like a vast, hot and dry space and shovel. exposing us to our neighbors. Ah, and then Plant lovers, do not fret. I’m not topping there was that “tree climbing” rose that yes, trees or committing random acts of sensecovered our small stand-alone garage with less pruning. Lilacs will be reduced by a third, decadent flowers every June, but it also not just hacked to four feet tall. Limbing ended up taking over half of the backyard. up heavy evergreen trees provides a whole Don’t get me going on the Clematis Montana new space for understory planting, and for rubens. It grew so large it created a wind sail people. Careful branch removal or reduction on the fence, eventually toppling the whole can create new vistas and scenes to enjoy structure on a soggy windy and admire. Increased air day. Today? Our standard circulation not only generNorth Portland corner lot ates good chi in the garden, has very little grass left, with it helps prevent mildew and most of it smothered with fungal diseases by allowing cardboard and mulch and plants to dry more easily planted thickly with perenbetween our rainy downnials, shrubs and favorpours. ite specimens. Trees and Instead of lists of seeds shrubs provide canopies to and new plants, here is my what now includes dappled list to prepare for The Great and full shade areas. I even Edit of 2014. find plants hiding beneath • Sharpen my tools.

Ms. Locher is all about the sweet, sweet juices. other plants as they grow A well sharpened spade together. makes digging and dividing easier and It’s time to edit. To deal with the garden healthier than hacking away at root balls thugs. To divide the iris and lilies and dai- with dull. Ditto with pruners and loppers. sies and hostas and fill friend’s gardens with • Research proper pruning techniques plants from our own. To prune the over- for the specific plants I need to prune. I’m grown viburnum, and coppice the Sambu- not going to use the same technique on cus nigra. It’s time to remove all but two of viburnum as I do for nandina, as they have the Euphorbia wulfenii: yes they seed and very different growth patterns. My goal isn’t in general they’re fantastic but other plants to destroy the plants, it’s to reduce their size are being nudged out. While this crazy Dr. and create more room in the garden.

Seuss-like plant is great, they’ve become • Create a list of the plants I plan to dig too much of a good thing. (Snark alert: Joan and divide and calendar in possible timing Rivers’ plastic surgeon should take note of for this work. Perennials will need to be dug that statement as well.) and divided when they begin to show their Romney coultieri? Oh how I love you. But growth, but not so late they’ll experience your runners have created a small forest of hot weather, which can create stress. Dahlia Matilija poppies. Instead of standing as a tubers will be dug and divided in March. singular and wondrous specimen, you’re Bring on the return of the giant dahlias! now a sugar overload. Don’t even get me • Have a plan in place for the debris, going on the hedge of nandina we planted either through city yard debris removal, or to provide privacy. It flops and brushes at truckloads to the Metro waste station. Props me while I try to pass by it: prepare to be to you who compost. reduced by half, my pretty.

It’s going to be a long process, definitely While many gardeners use this time not achieved in one weekend. But I hope to of year to make lists of seeds and garden return our garden to fresher days of healthy designs for new beds, I’m making my list blooms and room to breathe and take in the of reductions. I should be using little axe beauty. Here’s to a fresh edit! P.S. I sense a icons for the bulleted list. Lady’s mantle will theme here: I recently cut my hair short be dug and divided and spread to multiple too. Hmm. LeAnn Locher is an OSU Extension Master Gardener and all around home arts badass. Connect with her at facebook.com/sassygardener.

January/February 2014 • 33

FOR FUN

13 THINGS FROM 2013 WE NEVER WANT TO SEE AGAIN: YOUR PQ STAFF SPEAKS OUT This list will completely change your life.

While 2013 was a banner year for so many reasons— same-sex marriage spreads across the globe and trans rights are (finally) becoming the agenda’s norm, not exception—there’s plenty we saw that we wish we’d never lay eyes on again. (Though we probably will.) Think: Sarah Palin.

Or Glenn Beck. (Though he did pull that super strange “I’ll stand with GLAAD” bullshit.) Without further ado, good riddance forever (we hope) to: 1. Beyonce-bashing. Can you gays just stop with the “her latest album isn’t gay enough” nonsense? Using the same breath wherein you declare “this is her manifesto,” you also manage to muster “but there’s not a single man-onman moment of affection.” She is a married woman who makes love to her husband—I doubt her mantra includes many three-ways. Making an album about her marriage and motherhood does not make her a hater of gays. It makes her a wife and a mother. And that’s what she wants to sing about. Sorry she’s not GaGa-ing and writhing on the White House lawn. Get over it. And for anyone who’s still convinced she hates gays, I have some words for you: Frequent collaborator Frank Ocean. He’s certainly seen some man on man action, and he’s like Beyonce’s right hand bi.

So enough already.

2. Linda Harvey and Mission America. Pray the gay away is so 1998, but sweet Linda still spouts all that shit

all the live long day. We’ve recruited some scientists and have them shut up in a secret lab up in the West Hills, and they’re working on a formula that will turn straights gay.

And I’m going to pour it all over Linda’s sensual body. Go away, Mission America. Go far away.

3. Prosecution for possession of marijuana. Much like same-sex marriage, pot seems like it’s here to stay. Besides, prohibition never works. Some people drink, others smoke the sweet reefer. We all choose our choices. Let’s stop judging each other for them.

4. And while you’re at it, add privatized prisons to your list. (But don’t you dare touch “Orange is the New Black.”)

5. The word “totes” coming out of 45 year old gay men.

(Note: This is not a specific, malicious dig at Daniel Borgen via Belinda Carroll.)

6. The Kardashians.

7. Hyperbolic internet titling: This Will Literally Be Something that Changes Your Entire DNA. Though we don’t think Buzzfeed is going anywhere anytime soon. See also: The Huffington Post.

8. Gay-on-gay animosity. We’ll probably be putting this on our list forever, won’t we? Example: Some friends of ours have taken drag on tour (Caravan of Glam), and in some cities they’ve been welcomed with open arms—and in others, they’ve been chased out with pitchforks and torches.

(Perhaps we exaggerate a wee bit.) We’re all in this together,

and we face enough outside hostility, that it’d be nice if we didn’t focus on petty quarrels that divide and conquer us.

It’s just exhausting.

9. Bravo and their women-hating-women centric programming. Google “Women Who Hate Women: The Psychological Root of Snarky.” Reality is the new fiction, it seems, but we’re so over the Real Housewives and anything of that ilk.

10. Glee. (The show, not the feeling.) How many years does high school last? Someone call the cast of (the first) 90210.

11. Complaining about Obamacare and Cover Oregon.

(See also: Glitchy rollouts.) Sure, implementation has been tricky and the laws aren’t perfect, but health care reform is the law of the land. Wouldn’t we all be better served if we pitched in and tried to make the best of it? It will not be repealed, it’s here to stay. And so are we. Let’s play nice.

12. Trendy, medically-unnecessary gluten-free diets.

You’re not better than wheat-lovers just because you choose gluten-free. (We all choose our choices.)

13. Portland’s over-reliance on bacon as a primary taste/ ingredient. We get it, it’s delicious (and I always order extra side of it at brunch), but does it have to be in everything?

(The answer might be yes.) But our cuisine still beats yours, Any Other City in America.

--Daniel Borgen

QUEER APERTURE Through his Queer Aperture project, photographer Jeffrey Horvitz has spent years documenting the LGBTQ communities of Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Vancouver, B.C. He’s well aware that a picture paints a whole mess of words, but here he offers a few actual words to better acquaint us with his dynamic subjects.

What is your name?

Andrew Shayde

Favorite book?

Jurassic Park

How long have you lived in Portland?

Just over 3 years

Favorite movie?

Jurrasic Park

What is the first time you noticed that Gayness existed?

Seeing gay folks in reality tv as a gay kid in conservative Kentucky

Favorite word?

Hulabaloo

What would you consider a guilty pleasure?

Horror Movies with pizza and popcorn Your having a dinner party of 6, whom would you invite?

My 6 loudest kookiest friends—special guest, Daniel Borgen

PHOTO BY JEFFREY HORVITZ

34 • January/February 2014

Least favorite word?

Heteronormative Favorite swear word?

Fuck What is your profession?

Event planner

What would you consider a perfect meal?

Completely authentic Mexican meal complete with giant margarita

If you could with a snap of a finger what would be another profession you would like to do?

An adventure reality show host

What would be a perfect day off?

Going to the beach with friends, booze, and loud music

Whom would you like to meet dead or alive?

Pocahontas For more Queer Aperture visit, queeraperture.com

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