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THIS IS THE CLARION CALL? #searchitup By Melanie Davis, Brilliant Media llc.
Blood and disaster worldwide…what words does a Publisher of community advocacy publication put to ink? Since June 12, 2016, I have met with and had many conversations with people ranging from political leaders, spiritual advisors, community organizers, communities of color and QPOC, D’s & R’s, and moms and dads…I have sat and listened. Listened to the tears, listened to the needed healing, listened for solutions released between gasps of pain… As a human who identifies as a Queer Person of Color, my heart has been heavy. In attendance at many of the vigils, rallies, and meeting we seen who was first to respond in our community since this tragedies. We since the first to speak up, we saw the first to organize. We saw who was included and who was not. We also saw who took the mic and who was willing to pass it. We also saw those and held hands with those who felt they did not need a stage to show their support. Because of that, our team decided to hand this July Edition over to the community. We asked from people who rarely get the invite, much less the stage or microphone to share their thoughts on the tragedy how it has impacted them as members of our community. It is my hope that you will amplify these #ProudQueer voices – and next time you have event/rally/vigil ask yourself “Should I be the one actually speaking on this? Or, is there opportunity to pass the mic for the greater good?” I personally thank everyone for all they have done in bringing us together over the last few weeks. In looking at what has and/or what has not happened in our communities over the last month, we have learned one thing. WE NEED TO CONTROL OUR DENSITY! One of the ways we arrive at #Equality is through #Equity. Brilliant Media llc. is humbled to partner with SMYRC (the Sexual & Gender Minority Youth Resource Center)/New Avenues for Youth in developing a what is a similar approach to newspaper distribution as with Street Roots. However, this model will build microenterprises, work readiness, and build on the foundation of SMYRC’s and our communities strengths – our Youth! Details are
still being worked out for what has been dubbed: Operation #NewsHand. However, in the immediate Brilliant Media llc. will donate both publications to SMYRC where they will own the program and 100% of the proceeds. If you would like office/venue/café copies, please email thenewshand@pqmonthlycom. While details are being worked out, you can still find PQ Monthly and El Hispanic News at ALL New Seasons Grocery Stores (except the Mountain Park location), Multnomah and Washington County Libraries. Secondly, if you would like to host a SMYRC Youth in front of your business, please email us as well because we at Brilliant Media llc. will be promoting locations where regular sales can occur across our media platforms. It’s time we build Equality from the Ground UP! In that same vain, as Co-founder and Co-Chair of the National Equality Publishers Association (NEPA), we have been called to task at the both the national and local level since the massacre on June 12th, 2016. In doing so our biannual conference, be held at the Jupiter Hotel in Portland Oregon on August 17th – 20th, 2016. NEPA is proud to announce as part of its agenda on Thursday, August 18th, 2016 from 8 am to noon we will be hosting an Innovative LGBTQ Marketing and Community Building Workshop. Govoner Kate Brown has been invited, and our keynote speaker will be the Director of The LGBT Center in Orlando, Terry De Carlo. This event is sponsored by Travel Portland. It is a free event for NEPA Members, discount tickets are to Travel Portland Members, and Q Means Business Members. NEPA members unanimously agreed that a portion of the proceeds should be split evenly between the two community centers and have since partnered with both the LGBT Center in
Orlando, Florida and the Q Center of Portland, Oregon. If you would like to be a sponsor, buy a table, sponsor youth, or purchase tickets, please go to w w w.pqmonthly.com for additional information. We will be hosting the NEPA Publishers from around the country at the PQ Press Party held from 5 pm to 7 pm at the Jupiter Hotel, as always the PQ Press Party is free and open to the public. Join us in celebrating the work of LGBTQ Publishers from around the US and how we get down in the NW! Now it’s time to take that call, Melanie PS – I am just going to leave this letter right here… Dear Mr. President and The Congress of the United States of America, I am here to propose the ‘The Jon Poteet Bill.’ Treat guns like cars. Register the gun from creation to sale. Insure them (so, if someone gets shot the bills are paid). For example, if you own a small old car, your insurance is cheap. If you want to own Audi A8, you gonna pay big! Same should hold true for granddads ol’ 22 shotgun, while grandmas AK may cost more to insure. Insurance discounts for a gun safe, and/or gun locks, firearm/weapons storage cabinets, etcetera. And yes lastly - Allow the NRA to get into the insurance business, I mean AARP is selling insurance right? In closing, I think that if that were to happen it would take about 45 minutes to get passed into law! Now we would at least have accountability while navigating the issues around firearms and gun violence. Just like a car you need to show proficiency take a test and get a license[.] Cars were not mentioned in the Constitution of the United States neither were guns... Nor, did it mention roads and yet we regulate them and the vehicles that travel them. Sincerely, Jon Poteet PS –Mr. President and Congress of the United States of America, please call the Bill whatever you want. No pride in authorship, just here to help you get your job done.
A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:
503.228.3139
Community Profile: Cathy Abbruzzese..............Page 4
The Pulse of Life.............................................................. Page 15
proudqueer.com
Dreaming Of America The Brave...................... Page 5
Calendar........................................................................Page 16-17
Devastation......................................................... Page 9
#SomosOrlando............................................................. Page 19
Bomb Ass Pussy................................................... Page 10
Woman Cops of Color, what it’s really like in blue.. Page 24
THE NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE OF PQ MONTHLY IS RIVENDELL MEDIA, INC. BRILLIANT MEDIA LLC, DBA EL HISPANIC NEWS & PQ MONTHLY.
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Ally Round-Up......................................................... Page 14
AND MUCH MORE! JULY/AUGUST 2016 • 3
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COMMUNITY PROFILE: CATHY ABBRUZZESE George T. Nicola, GLAPN
Born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, Cathlyn “Cathy” Abbruzzese entered Catholic religious life (as a nun) in 1967. She left to explore her sexuality in 1972, coming out as a lesbian in 1979 after attending the first national march for LGBTQ rights in Washington, DC. In the 1980s, Cathy worked for the New York City Housing Authority where she helped start a lesbian and gay group. At the same time, she was an active member of Metropolitan Community Church of New York and PHOTO PROVIDED BY CATHY ABBRUZZESE helped get New York City’s sexual orientation nondiscrimination ordinance passed. Cathy cofounded and became a member of one of the first AIDS ministry teams in the nation. She marched and attended many rallies to get the government to pay attention to what was becoming the AIDS crisis. In 1990, she moved to Medford, Oregon. There she did volunteer work at a retirement facility where her wife Terry was the general manager. The couple was out to staff and residents. Someone on staff sent a letter to the owners complaining about their lesbianism, so Terry was given an ultimatum stating that Cathy was not allowed to enter the building. Terry, the chef, and the recreation coordinator quit. Cathy and Terry then moved north to Portland. In 1992, Cathy was hired as a field manager for the
campaign that fought the statewide Measure 9 which was sponsored by the Oregon Citizens Alliance (OCA). If it had passed, the initiative would have amended the Oregon Constitution to state “ All governments in Oregon may not use their monies or properties to promote, encourage or facilitate homosexuality, pedophilia, sadism or masochism. All levels of government, including public education systems, must assist in setting a standard for Oregon’s youth which recognizes that these behaviors are abnormal, w ro n g , u n n a t u ral and perverse, and they are to be discouraged and avoided.” Through the work of numerous people like Cathy, the initiative was rejected by Oregon voters. Two years later, Cathy worked for the campaign to counter the OCA’s anti-gay Measure 13. In 1996, Cathy was hired as Donor Outreach Coordinator for Basic Rights Oregon. She raised $2.2 million and developed long and lasting donor relationships for BRO. Cathy’s work was so impressive that The Oregonian
newspaper ran a feature article on her. Headlined “Basic Rights Oregon’s Star Fundraiser Cathy Abbruzzese is a steady force in the fight for gay rights”, it movingly documented her life and work: http://www.oregonlive.com/ portland/index.ssf/2013/05/basic_rights_oregon_star_ fundr.html. Cathy retired from BRO in early 2016. So loved is she, that her coworkers gave her a massive farewell party that filled much of Portland’s Q Center. Reflecting on her contributions, Cathy says “Since 1979 I’ve refused to hide and live in silence. I dedicated myself to the movement for justice and equality. Following my heart, I found my home in Oregon. My chosen family gives me hope and strength. I know we will continue to work until LOVE PHOTO COURTESY OF HTTP://WWW.PDXQCENTER.ORG/ WINS.” Fortunately for us, Cathy has decided against moving back to Brooklyn and instead will remain here in Portland. Part of the reason she gives -- “The Governor knows me by name.” Isn’t it great to be an Oregonian!
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck? salvageworkspdx.com 2024 N. Argyle Street, Portland, OR 97217 • 503-899-0052 4 • JULY/AUGUST 2016
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DREAMING OF AMERICA THE BRAVE
By Alberto Moreno
When we were illegal, our fathers and mothers would rise in the early of the morning, walk past the cumin-laced kitchen and descend the dark wooden steps into the basement of Frank’s tenement building. They would walk past creaky storage units to the single shower room in the four-story building. A rusting pipe sticking out from a cement wall to receive them. Every day our parents would race each other to this one shower stall at four or five in the morning then climb back up the stairs and race again to their waiting factory jobs, or to America’s hotels to clean and beds, ready make. Or to houses build and ditches dig. Or still, to harvest and your fields tend. Illegal-us! But there was another untold ceremony. On too many a morning, our parents would wake us and tell us that they might not be coming home! “La Migra.” They would whisper, to our still waking bone: “There might be a raid today. If we don’t come home, try to find someone.” It was never clear to me as a nine-yearold what “finding someone” would mean. Or who would take care of us in a world where our parents could be taken from us at any given moment. It created a sense of insecurity which to this day my aging bones cannot shake. Each and every day, millions of our children across America still awake to this reality. All because, the America, which was founded by immigrants, is afraid of immigrant us. Afraid not of our sedant lifestyle, but afraid of hard working us. Fear is on the rise again. In America the fearful. The America, which waits to be brave and faces up to its unfounded fears. This week millions of our children woke up to learn that America had once again broken its promise to our children. That President Obama’s promise to defer immigration enforcement for our children would not be kept. A politically divided Supreme Court quashing the dreams and hopes of millions of undocumented children across
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this nation by letting a lower court’s decision stand that the Presidents Executive Order for DACA and DAPA exceeded his constitutional authority. Millions of “Dreamers” awoke to learn that the invitation carved on Lady Liberty to the world had been rescinded. Our children awoke to learn that America has decided it no longer wants: “Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.” That America is shuttering its shores and closing its doors. The tide of hate and fear are on the rise again. Not only in America but across the world. Fear of the stranger. Fear and hate celebrated. Hate Trumping compassion and basic human decency. The United Kingdom gave in to fear and voted this past week to leave the European Union. Choosing with this vote to give in to fear of the immigrant. Choosing isolationism over pluralism. Choosing instead to cower in the dark shadow of fear. But fear has a price, attendant. The UK is quick ly learning that there is a price to hate. Its markets and currencies have seen devaluations not seen in thirty years. The country will likely fall back into a recession of their own making. Which suggests that the response in the face of uncertainty is not to close. Not to shutter, but to open. The United Kingdom decision to leave the European Union and its subsequent aftermath is a rebuke of racism and protectionism. A reminder to us that isolationism is death. Back on our shores, the US is facing a similar choice. America is being asked to choose between emboldened hate or hope. Between tolerance and intolerance. America, this election faces a choice. Whether to become America the fearful or America the brave. And so we wait. Our children wait, in the shadows. For America to be brave once again!
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NEWS FEATURE
DEVASTATION By Suzanne Deakins, PQ Monthly
Devastation, heartbreaking, tears, and deep disappointed only begin to describe what we are all feeling in our community. Distance does not matter, what happens to one happens to us all. As we search our hearts and minds trying to understand such a hateful act, we may want to point our finger and try to reason why. Hate, killing, and violence has no reason and no logic to it. Part of our pain is trying to understand something that seems so illogical. Seeking safety in our minds, we think if we can find an answer we will be safe. To hate enough to kill or mane is not a reality that most of us can comprehend. This act of violence is not an action ever condoned by any religious sects. It has nothing to do with being a Christian or a Muslim. This was an act of self-loathing, fear, and mental illness. Religion plays no part in acts of violence. Acts of violence that are perpetrated in the name of God, Mohamed or not spoken as in Eloyem are not religious acts, but rather acts of individuals who are full of fear and self-loathing. When the mind of an individual sleeps in fear of his or her emotions and longings, it reacts with hate and violence. What is needed now is an extraordinary approach to mind and consciousness that allows us to view our past and future from our current position? I do not know the solution to the hate and violence perpetrated on our brothers and sisters in Florida. I am aware that the sick consciousness of an individual was the progenitor of the situation and therefore must contain the answer to the problems pqmonthly.com
at hand. Like all problems, the answer is contained within the problem itself. Unlike the governor of Texas who quoted as saying what you sow NO, I mean NO religious leader condones this type of violence and hate. We are at a time of watershed in our history. This is a time when all religions have supported the right to freedom beyond their ideas about our lifestyles. Yes, they may not agree with our life, but they have NOT sought to kill and destroy us. Every congregation in Portland stands with us in our sorrow and grief over this terrible time in Florida. Any of us with a smidgen of conscious awareness are cognizant that violence doesn’t solve the problem of violence. The violence and terrorism are not situated within any one group or person but rather in the collective consciousness. In the herd consciousness, we find the need for separateness and destruction. The question of survival in herd consciousness deals with dominance, power, and control of food sources and territory. The very word terror shares a root word with the territory. This in itself is a hint to what terrorism is really about. It is my experience any place in our private and public lives that contains violence, terror, and trauma is a place of contradiction. A paradox is a place where in great leaps in awareness may be accomplished. An experience of metanoia (a significant change in mind/thinking) and the Buddhist concept of the “tulpas” (thought form) can happen while contemplating profound duplicity. Paradoxes hold both the problems and the answers. How can an act of violence preserve peace? How can power bring power under control? Two opposing and contradictory concepts, duplicity, we use force to achieve peace and yet violence is the very deed that breaks the peace. In the study of consciousness, we find those places in our personal lives where we have an opportunity to understand the true meaning of power and control by examining the
repulsion and addiction to violence and terror. We search for the contradictions in our thinking, beliefs, and actions. For me, the real question/problem becomes one of consciousness. How do I personally work with my knowledge to affect the whole of the collective unconscious? Where and what is the paradox? And what do the riddles mean in this situation at a global and personal levels? Ordinary answers don’t seem to satisfy the push I feel of mind unfolding. A small, intuitive whisper keeps whispering, “go further and understand more.” The violence of terrorism has only one answer in my thinking, and that is one of consciousness. What is your intuition telling you? Is there a whisper to go further, understand more at this point in your life? I do believe that as we clear our consciousness we establish the basis for world peace…for peace and love in our GLBT family. Like the ants, each of us plays a part in the collective consciousness. We are not outside of the collective consciousness nor are we totally defined by it. Our being and consciousness are a matter of our viewpoint, how we see and experience life. Do we add to the world terrorism by our ego needs of greed and power? Are we capable of loving even the dirtiest faced child and the worst offender of peace? Is it possible to love those who lie to us and take us to places that we don’t want to go? Peace and the answers to gaining a lasting peace are the seeds in each of our consciousness. Listen to that intuitive voice… go further, understand, and give more. Only through inner work does it seem possible to gain the peace we all seek. There is no ONE answer but an answer in ONE and understanding we are of one spirit, one force, one higher mind, truth, God, and LOVE. Stand tall and let your rainbow flag fly for LOVE, compassion, and consciousness for it is this that will make us stronger and less fearful. JULY/AUGUST 2016 • 9
NEWS FEATURE
CARLA ROSSI, PORTLAND’S PREMIER WHITE PERSON, SITS DOWN WITH BOMB ASS PUSSY By Carla Rossi, for PQ Monthly
How did this humble drag clown find herself interviewing PDX’s stars of underground activist hip-hop? Perhaps it was karmic debt or an actual debt like the one that keeps me changing my address and voter registration every 72 days. Regardless, I, Carla Rossi, have been a friend and fan of this Latinx trio for years so it just felt right when I stumbled out of my trash can and into their studio. My memory may end there, and afterward, I might have come to in a bathtub full of ice cubes surrounded by a symphony of barking dogs and screaming babies, but luckily our interview was painstakingly recorded via my faithful Etch-A-Sketch for your reading enjoyment. Carla: First, just to clear up some confusion – which one of you is Bomb, which one’s Ass, and who’s Pussy? Jeau: For all intents and purposes, Jeau is da bomb, Chris got that ass and Kitty reppin’ pussy. Chris: He can tell I ain’t missin’ no meals! Kitty: And I like cats! Chris: It started off as a joke, and the name is a bit of a hoodwink. It’s slightly jarring and sexual like most of the hip-hop but once people listen to the music, it’s incredibly message driven and intelligent. We definitely like to tell a story with our art. Exorcise our demons. Carla: Why are you brown people so angry? Chris: The fuck did you just say to me? Jeau: I mean, can you blame us? Yeah, we’re angry. It’s hard not to be. More so than anger, I hope our passion shines through in our music. It’s imperative for the three of us to speak on topics that affect (but are not limited to) our community, but it’s not always going to be cute. Chris: And sometimes we just speak very loudly. I think it’s something in our blood historically where sometimes you have to be loud to be heard. Plus Kitty is the loudest, so that makes her three times stronger than anyone in the room. But in all honesty, shit in our daily lives dealing with being marginalized and looked down upon makes me furious. Having someone call you “dirty” and basically, less than can be brutal. Not to mention the actual very real everyday violence that comes with being a person of color. The fear makes me mad. The common fear. Kitty: Um excuse me Mija! Why is it that I got to be angry all the time? Maybe sometimes it’s not the brown person being angry about something, maybe sometimes someone’s calm because they do not understand. They have not encountered similar experiences in the same fashion, nor do they have the same access to resources, because if they did have to understand, the issue wouldn’t be brown people being angry. And maybe sometimes I’m mad, you tried being a woman and treated as if have nothing to say 10 • JULY/AUGUST 2016
and way too much of it to say, you’d be mad too. Every day women are silenced… Carla: Thank you, Kitty! [She whispers to Chris and Jeau] Boy can she go on. Am I right, fellas? [Awkward silence.] Carla: Anyway, so the new LP, or is it EP, or DP--Jeau: EP, girl. Carla: The new EP is Pussy Reign, am I saying that correctly? Jeau: Yes. Carla: Pussy Reign is your first release in how long? Kitty: PR is our first EP release in about 2 years. We tried not to stay away so long, but a lot was going on. Personally, I had gone back to school, so I didn’t have as much time as I did before. I soon realized some of the topics I was learning about in class were motivating the music I was making as far as the themes in the songs and lyrics that were written. Pussy Reign differs from the first EP (self-titled “BAP”) in that it brings a little more experience and knowledge. You can definitely see maturity in our presentation of who we have become as a group. Chris: We did release two singles for SHORT DICK MAN (produced by Pete Ellison) and MAGNETIC LINES featuring our good friend Kelly Moe before the EP. One is lighthearted, and throwback and the other is about the realization that the relationship you’re in is not where you should be exactly. Jeau: We actually were not intending to go that long between the EP releases, but a string of unfortunate events kept it out of our control. Something kept screwing up or getting lost. Carla: Who? Me? Listen, I was told the laborers in my factory were there voluntarily---
Chris: No, but close. Our computer crashed, and we lost a ton of information, which SUUUUUUCKED. Kitty ended up having to go back and put back together all the tracks she made piece by piece. Then we had to re-record some of the vocals for a few songs, shoot the artwork, and get some videos up and going. Jeau: For our part, though, regardless of how long that finished product took to be recorded and released, all of the songs were written in their entirety a good year ago. K i t t y : T h i s w e i rd g u y Anthony Hudson is supposed to direct the video for the title track, but he won’t answer our calls anymore. It’s ok, I know where he lives. Carla: One thing I love about your music is it’s super danceable but also political. In Pussy Reign there’s a part where the song comes to a stopping point, and you say a particular phrase - what is it again? Chris: At the end of my verse in Pussy Reign the music cuts out, and I say “Excuse me officer, please help me, I can’t breathe” referring to the Eric Garner case where he was strangled to death by police. His last moments alive were caught on tape, and the last thing he said was “I can’t breathe” and no matter how many times he said it, they still wouldn’t listen. Jeau: Thank you for recognizing us for more than just songs about weed and dick! Chris: Although we do love songs about weed and dick. Jeau: The whole EP but especially the title track is crucial for us. I almost feel as if the entire project (including B-sides that didn’t make the cut) was centered around the concept of “Pussy Reign.” Kitty: I start the first verse with “If I ruled the world”, with all these things going on in our world today, especially here in our country, social media is full of events and opinions. This is our way of us talking about those issues, and what if Bomb Ass Pussy ruled the world? What would we do? My verse deals with income inequality and the elitist class system, which perpetuates the poverty cycle, keeping the working class people and down. Jeau: My verse deals with the general inequality among the sexes and patriarchal society. With all the negativity women face in their professional lives and otherwise, I wanted to speak on that first and foremost. Kitty: I came up with that using the ol’ “ladies first” rule. Equality. Carla: I heard the jury is still out on that concept. Chris: I’m not sure how that’s equality, but I’m not going to argue with Kitty. My verse is more about police brutality and racial inequality. BLACK LIVES MATTER. I grew up around a lot of police violence and having it become more and more pervasive, especially towards people of color is BAP page 11
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so fucking scary. We wrote these songs almost two years ago, and the deaths by police continue to get higher and higher. VERY VERY Continued from page 10 VERY RECENTLY we have videos of both Alton Sterling and Philando Castile being MURDERED BY POLICE. Jeau: It’s so frustrating that even after what happened in Orlando that the Senate continues to completely ignore what the people want for gun control. We need to help share the responsibility to help people get woke. Carla: I heard you cut a song from your Pride set list. Which song and why? Do I smell censorship or even worse – political correctness?! [Carla plays a thundercrack effect on her phone.] Jeau: We did decide to cut one of our favorite songs from our Pride sets this year out of sensitivity to the tragedy in Orlando at Pulse. The song “Chola” featured a massive gunshot beat and more than several references to a “chola wit a gun.” Chris: The Sunday morning we heard the news we were devastated, and we were supposed to have rehearsal for our Pride set the following week. I didn’t want to do it, and that’s really the only thing I could think of at the time. Then while rehearsing, Chola came on, and tons of gunshots are heard, and it just didn’t feel right. The last thing anyone wants to hear at a Pride party a week after Orlando was the sound of gunshots. It just made me feel so sick. One of the largest mass shootings in recent history and we still can’t pass a bill for responsible gun control? Background checks? Jeau: Who the fuck needs a semi-automatic rifle? They are made to KILL PEOPLE! Not hunt. Not relieve stress. Nothing more and nothing less. Kitty: We did not want to be insensitive in any way because we were too busy mourning for our LGBTQ siblings. We too had feared for possibilities that it could happen here. I did want there to be a correlation with us and promoting violence. Yes, the song could be
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interpreted in such a way, so we left it out this time. Chola is a song that started out with my mom, my background, childhood neighborhoods, and memories of back in the day. I grew up in lower-income neighbors throughout Los Angeles, my family - Chicano and proud was part of the gangs and it was around us. I begin to write the song because I missed my heritage and I’m not ashamed of who I am and where I come from. I see that the system is set up to help this lifestyle of people of color killing each other, with drugs and guns. The song comes from the viewpoint of Chola (a character created in my mother’s image and experience) making it through life as a poor Latin woman and how it passed down to me. In a world where women like that are pinned in a corner, her gun symbolizes her strength, and when she loads it with things like knowledge and honor, she’s ready to fire back. Now this Chola about to get my degree from the University, education and information are the best ammo I have. Chris: We talk a lot about access and how metaphorically we are “loaded guns” because our primary instinct is not only to survive but to thrive and be successful. To care for our families. But White Supremacy is constantly trying to keep the trigger from us. Not only do they control media outlets and make very specific choices in their language when they speak about people of color but they always demonize and disenfranchise us. Especially Black folk. Especially Black women. And even more Black Trans Women. They are the most vulnerable. We need to make sure we address this. We need to make it stop. People are dying. Every. Single. Day. At the hands of people who are supposed to protect us. Although I don’t think they were ever actually supposed to protect us (people of color). It’s a guise. I say disarm the police. Carla: I say eat them! So what does making work together to look like? Who does what? Chris: It looks like a bunch of people yelling at each other for a few weeks and then BOMB ASS PUSSY page 12
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BOMB ASS PUSSY Continued from page 11
something finally comes of it... a demon shadow baby. It’s a very visceral experience. Kitty: Our meeting usually consists of discussing, planning, debating, and eating. It’s easier to discuss issues with me if eating occurs first, but so are talking and planning things with me. Rule #1: Feed the Kitty. Jeau: We’re honestly lucky enough to be creating this work with our best friends. We legit love each other, and there is all the respect in the world between the three of us. There’s always something to be done so we do tend to keep ourselves busy with any number of the projects we currently have in the works. Chris: It can change every time with every song or video. Sometimes we’ll have an idea or something we really want to talk about, and then Kitty might make a beat specifically for it. Or she’ll send us a couple of tracks, and we’ll write to it and see where it goes. When it comes to the visual aspect of things we usually have a very clear idea of what we want. Sometimes when I’m writing, I get somewhat of a picture of what’s going on there. Jeau: Everyone has their own unique strengths. While I handle most of the social media correspondence and the booking of shows, Kitty’s lean more towards the production of our music. Chris handles visuals, marketing, and the website. We all write about 90 percent of our own lyrics and some for each other here and there. Kitty: We all play to our strengths and abilities, which we are learning more how to step out of those comfort zones. I’ve had lots of influence in the way we sound, but it’s always done with influence from what we had discussed earlier. Like Jeau heard a beat I had made and put it to a chorus Chris 12 • JULY/AUGUST 2016
had written and – bam! – We brought Daddy Issues the song together. It’s like we finish each others’ s--Jeau: Sentences! Kitty: I was going to say sandwiches, but OK. Carla: The people demand to know! What’s next? Chris: We’re definitely learning to move better together onstage. When they’re three people up there it can get a little difficult to navigate and make sure – AHEM – Kitty doesn’t kick you in the head doing the splits while in a headstand, Chun-Li style. Jeau: We’re working on a badass mixtape to promote the EP and a new single called STATE OF EMERGENCY (ft. Laverne Cox). It is in no uncertain terms our response to the Trans Lives Matter movement and Orlando. And check out our FB PAGE AND SIGN OUR PETITION to help us open up for PEACHES! Make these bitches’ dreams come true. Kitty: Our plate looks pretty full with fight injustice, break down damaging social norms, take on gender, combat racism, shut down homophobia, break down walls for Latin recognition, kick down doors for trans-equality, liberate bisexuality, and put an end to the silencing of transwomen of color--Carla: Well it looks like that’s all the time we have! I have to go feed the meter. Peace out, Pussy. You can download Bomb Ass Pussy’s music and watch their videos on their website at www.bombasspussy.net. Find them on Twitter / Instagram / Facebook there as well. You can catch Carla and her human avatar Anthony Hudson in their new one-woman-ish show LOOKING FOR TIGER LILY, premiering September 30th and October 1st at the historic Hollywood Theatre. Find out more at TheCarlaRossi.com. pqmonthly.com
FEATURES
pqmonthly.com
JULY/AUGUST 2016 • 13
VOICES
ALLY ROUND-UP FOR JULY By Monty Herron, PQ Monthly
Here at PQ Monthly, we like to give credit where credit is due. That includes our allies, especially when they reach out to us in a genuine way. This month I want to talk with you about a couple of groups doing good things in our community. First, there is a group of voices that are heard in our community even less than people of color. These are folks in our community that have what is commonly called ‘invisible disabilities,’ because that is what mental illness is. Invisible. Yet, for something so invisible, it comes with a stigma that is a magnitude of order at least as bad as that of those who are Hiv+ in our community. It is the illness people suffer from, yet mustn’t disclose for fear of stigma, or being branded as ‘crazy’ by people you might even call ‘close’ friends. This is the sad reality. Even more frightening, is trying to find people to assist you with therapy needs or medication in a clinical setting. It’s hard to know who to trust. With that in mind, Mae Adams Shirley wrote into us this month, to express her clinics desire to reach out to the LGBTQIA community. Here is her letter as written to us: My name is Mae Adams Shirley, and I am a doctoral candidate at George Fox University’s program in Clinical Psychology. I am currently completing a practicum rotation at Northwest ADHD Treatment Center, which is a treatment facility with offices in Southeast and Tualatin that provides comprehensive care for individuals with attention-deficit and mood-related concerns. In a recent staff meeting, it was brought to our attention that we have had a few phone calls from prospective patients in the LGBTQ community who are concerned about our facility’s affiliation with George Fox University and other religiously-affiliated institutions, as we have many staff and doctoral therapists who have completed their graduate training in these schools. It was upsetting to our staff to think that there may be individuals and families seeking our services who fear that they will face discrimination, bias or judgment from those who have completed or are currently enrolled in graduate training in these institutions. After about an hour-long discussion, we agreed
as a staff that we need to take whatever steps are necessary to promote the safe and affirming atmosphere of our clinic, and to assure prospective patients that NW ADHD makes every effort to hire practicum and licensedlevel clinicians who can promote the values of the clinic and commit to providing the best possible treatment for patients in the LGBTQIA communities with openness, warmth, and uncondi-
tional positive regard. We would love for prospective patients that we have in the Portland area who identify as LGBTQIA to know our hearts and our commitment to serving them. As an ally of the LGBT community, I feel especially passionate about transforming the culture in faithbased institutions to adopt a stance of respect, open-mindedness and safety for all students. I hope that the attached essay is a useful and reassuring testament to the work of Northwest ADHD Treatment Center for all those who might want to know more about the wonderful work we do here! Warmly, Mae --
Mae Adams Shirley, M.A., M.S. Doctoral Student of Psychology Northwest ADHD Treatment Center
Well done Mae! I’m personally impressed as someone in the community who is affected by mental illness, it is so nice to see someone put
themselves out there to say “hey, you can count on us to be there when you need us.” Thank you. The second shout out this month goes to a new ally in the Native American community, as well as an ally to the LGBTQIA community. Century Bar, (a newer sports bar venue located at 930 SE Sandy Blvd) was noted to have been using Jim Thorpe’s image in their print advertising, as well as a 20ft. Tall mural of Jim Thorpe painted on the side of their building. Well, the Native community mobilized, comments were posted on social media, a local and myself reached out to the owners for comment, and were pleasantly surprised by the outcome. The owners actually thought they were doing a good thing by publicizing Jim Thorpe as ‘the greatest athlete of the 20th century.’ What they were not aware of, or prepared for, was the knowledge that some of Thorpe’s extended Sac & Fox family living here in Portland would be deeply hurt by this, given that it was eventually alcoholism that took Mr. Thorpe’s life. There was a history of alcoholism to deal with the pain of some of the events of his life, and as a result, using his image to make profits from the sale of liquor was completely inappropriate. Well, the owners of Century Bar leaped into action. The mural was painted over the next day, and assurances were made that all print advertising would cease. The owners thanked the community for a significant teaching moment and reiterated that they never meant to cause any harm. I believe them. I went a step further and asked, how do you feel about the LGBT community, and got the response that I was hoping for. “We just want EVERYONE to feel comfortable coming into our establishments to have an excellent experience, we want everyone to have fun.” I for one will do my part to try and convince my softball team to come in and check the place out because these are responsive, members of the community, and based on their decisions involving this issue, I’d be happy to patronize their establishment. Until next month, be good to each other. Monty Herron is a staff writer for PQ Monthly, Adjunct Professorial candidate at Portland State University, author, and a member of the Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde.
PQ Monthly is published the 3rd Thursday of every month. Please contact
Find us on Facebook facebook.com/pqmonthly 14 • JULY/AUGUST 2016
us for advertising opportunities.
503.228.3139 •PQMONTHLY.COM pqmonthly.com JUNE/JULY 2016 • 21
VOICES
THE PULSE OF LIFE Family is everything. It is more than money. More than power. Than status. Family is even stronger than language. It is the vessel that contains and creates who we are. The seed of ever y community. The carrier of culture. The spiritual spiral scaffolding of our being. The curve of our lips. The sound of our voice. Our names. The blood in our veins. And for so many of us, For too many of us, It is the first thing we lose, The one thing we need most When we come out. And when we come out, we are alone. Then through an act of grace, we choose to wake up the next day. We learn to find something to believe in. Anything. The taste of coffee. The taste of food. The sound of music. The icon of an email inbox hoping someone will reach out to us. The kindness of a stranger. Eventually, we build the courage to attend Pride. And we choose to belong. With time we learn what it is to have pride. Inspired and empowered, we then create our own pride. Latino Gay Pride. We learn to utilize our voice. We learn to listen. In listening, we realize there is a family, A union with others just like ourselves. We are unique. We learn to laugh again. To trust again. To call on one another, again. We learn that God, the Universe makes no mistakes. We learn to forgive. Accept. Then, we see. Understand That when we fall and get up again That that is the never-ending dance of existence. Of strength. Resilience. The Pulse of life. Saturday June 12th, life presented an unimaginable horror. An incomprehensible act of violence against our families:
VOICES
Biological and spiritual. Life journeys of resilience, strength and identity were cut short. On Sunday as I read the first names of the afflicted M y h e a r t s l ow l y began to crumble. It was Latino night at Pulse nightclub. I asked myself, why? Why? I read their names. All of a sudden, there were more names. Before I knew it, There were just too many names. Then, it got personal: So many of them were so young. I saw myself. I saw myself finding solace at the City Nightclub as a teen. I saw myself at Latino dance night at Embers. I remembered the joy of dancing cumbia, merengue, and salsa, To my favorite Spanish pop singers: Gloria Trevi, Amanda Miguel, Juanes, Paulina Rubio, Talia, Juan Gabriel. Then I was reminded: at the forefront of immigration reform Are the queer Latino youth. Some who’ve lost their family. Their place in the world. Who are left without legal agency to create their life. Who have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Whose bravery is shaping the structure of our nation. And, one by one, as I read Orlando’s beautiful names Outloud to myself It was an unbearable act of violence Against every vowel sound, syllable and consonant That shapes and holds the meaning to who I am. Vowel sounds, syllables and consonants that hold my name. Their names. This nation’s names. To these beautiful souls and to their families in Orlando: We are a part of you. You are a part of us. We feel you. We are a family. Somos familia. With deep sorrow, We are united and stronger because of you. Gracias.
POEM BY JOAQUIN LOPEZ
MY NAME IS JOAQUIN LOPEZ. I’VE BEEN A PART OF PORTLAND LATINO GAY PRIDE FROM THE BEGINNING AND MANAGE ARTS AND CULTURE AT LATINO NETWORK. MANY OF YOU KNOW ME AS JOAQUIN FROM LA BONITA. I STAND BEFORE YOU ON BEHALF OF PORTLAND LATINO GAY PRIDE, WITH THE SUPPORT OF LATINO NETWORK AND THE FAMILY OF WORKERS AT LA BONITA WHO ALSO STAND IN SOLIDARITY WITH THE FAMILIES AND FRIENDS OF ORLANDO’S VICTIMS. A DEEP THANKS TO ALL FIRST RESPONDERS, MEDICS, COUNSELORS AND EMS PEOPLE WHO HAVE WORKED TIRELESSLY IN HELPING THE VICTIMS AND VICTIMS’ FAMILIES. WE DEEPLY THANK YOU.
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JULY/AUGUST 2016 • 15
CALENDAR
1
GET
OUT! Want more? We’ll give you everything. Head over to pqmonthly.com and check out our online calendar of events, submit your own events, and send photos for your event. Also, remember to carefully examine our weekly weekend forecast — with the latest and greatest events — each Wednesday (sometimes Thursday), online only. --MATT PIZZUTI, CALENDAR EDITOR PQ MONTHLY
PDX, 317 NW Broadway.
EVERY SUNDAY
Drag Brunch: Testify at Stag with Alexis Campbell Starr. From 11 a.m. until 3 p.m. every Sunday, Starr brings you the city’s hottest drag performers, drink specials (5 for $5 mimosas, $5 American Harvest Bloody Marys), and tasty brunch. Be there promptly at 11, children—it’s a sell-out crowd. Stag, 317 NW Broadway. Superstar Divas. Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Topaz Crawford, Isaiah Tillman, and guest stars perform your favorite pop, Broadway, R&B, rock, and country hits. Dance floor opens after the show. Check out the newest and freshest Diva hits, plus a variety of diverse talent. 8 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free!
EVERY MONDAY
Family Home Evening. A weekly, postwork lounge party every Monday night at Vault, featuring DJ Orographic (Bridge Club, Queerlandia) and occasional special guests (Sappho fills in now and then). Jens Irish serves you happy hour all the live long night. 7 p.m.-11 p.m., Vault, 226 NW 12.
EVERY WEDNESDAY
Amateur night at Stag PDX, though they won’t look like amateurs, trust. Hosted by Godiva Devyne, come gawk at the pretty dancers. And talk some shit with the Devyne Ms. G. 9 p.m., Stag
EVERY THURSDAY
Hip Hop Heaven. Bolivia Carmichaels hosts this hip-hop-heavy soiree night every Thursday night at CCs. Midnight guest performers and shows. Remember those midnight shows at The City? Bolivia does! 9 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free.
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FRIDAY, JULY 22
Vulgarity for Charity. Join us for a night of uncompromising obscenity featuring Portland’s most debauched talent. Proceeds go to the Mr. Friendly campaign, working to fight HIV stigma. Mistress of ceremonies will be the incomparable, Sister Sara Bellum. $5 donation at door. 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. at the Embers Ave., 110 NW Broadway. Queer Community Clothing Swap. Swap and sell your gently used clothing and accessories at Kenton Park directly across from Parkside! Bring clean, non-tattered clothing, shoes and accessories. We will be in the park. Parkside has a happy hour from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. for a cocktail break. Swap event runs from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. 2351 N Kilpatrick St.
DANCE
IT OUT
SATURDAY, JULY 23
Fight Club Screening and Q&A with Chuck Palahniuk. A screening of the 1999 film Fight Club will begin at 7:30pm, and will be followed by a Q&A session with Chuck, moderated by New York Times best-selling author Chelsea Cain. Tickets $12. 7:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. at Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd. Mt. Tabor Pokemon Gathering. Massive meet-and-greet and 16 • JULY/AUGUST 2016
FIRST SATURDAYS
Hard Yes presents: Yes Please! Yes Please is a monthly queer dance party for the dark, dirty and fabulous who just wanna dance. The party also features guest performers from Portland and beyond plus resident DJ Sappho alongside a rotating lineup of guest DJ’s providing you with a healthy dose of: House, techno, deep disco and hard f*ggotry. Cover $7. 21+. 9 p.m. at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St. Sugar Town. DJ Action Slacks. Keywords: Soul, polyester. Great place to find the ladies, to mingle, to get your groove on. 9 p.m., The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42. $5. Pop Rocks! 80s music aficionado DJ Matt Consola (Bearracuda) is hosting a very special 80s anthem night at Euphoria Nightclub. The space will be enhanced with an 80s theme featuring dancers, games and an official Dungeons & Dragons Gaming Table, visuals, rad 80s movies, drink specials, a photo booth, coat check and special guest DJs. 10 p.m., Euphoria, 315 SE 3. No cover. Pants Off Dance Off. Come get bold and bawdy at Crush Bar’s monthly clothing-optional dance event, a bar-as-you-dare safe space to break character without risking your day job (no cell phone photos allowed, folks!) Come early—the place gets packed and space is limited. $5 cover after 9 p.m. with a clothes check for $2. 1400 SE Morrison St.
SEC
Hot Flash: Inferno. (Seco land is where the women are floors the second and fourth women, queers, and their allie dancers from up and down the
TH
Bump, grind and crash into for our publisher, who’s alway probably get a date. Every thi Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks P
TH
Beareoke PDX is BACK! oke. Free! 9 p.m. at Scandals
SECOND TUESDAYS
Bi Bar—every second Tuesday at Crush, and it’s an open, bi-affirming space for music and mingling. Correction: Bi/Pan/Fluid/Queer. 8 p.m., Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.
SECOND FRIDAYS
Slo Jams is a Queer Modern R&B & Neo Soul Dance Night at Local Lounge. DJ II TRILL (TWERK) and DJ MEXXX-TAPE lay down everything from Mary J // Jagged Edge// Keyshia to Badu//Lauryn Etc. 10 p.m., Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.
Pokemon explore event. See what rare pokemon live atop Portland’s little extinct volcano. There’s sure to be plenty of incense burning to attract a flock for all to catch. 4 p.m. to midnight at Mt. Tabor City Park, SE 60th & Salmon.
SUNDAY, JULY 24
PDX BootLab. Learn the basics of leather care and meet the PDX leather officionados and the leather-curious. This is the first BootLab which will continue on Fourth Sundays. Each session will have help for newbies as well as a more advanced topic. This month we’ll be working on using Frankenpatch by Elegant as well as heel-ball wax to patch and repair hard shine boots. 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. at CrushBar, 1400 SE Morrison St.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 27
Last Wednesgays. A popular new event celebrates Hump Day with a laid back beer and cocktail social. The sixth edition of Last Wednesgays will be held at the popular North 45, Old-world travel-themed gastropub serving global grub, a rotating wine list, crafty cocktails & lots of Belgian beers. 6 p.m. at Old North Pub, 517 NW 21st Ave.
Burlescape! Burlesque & Esquire, Tod Alan. 9 p.m., Cru online, so get on the net. Undergear: Eagle Portland’s Free if you arrive before 9 p.m arrivals who do not check clo
Wildfang purchase in last 30 days. Doors at 6:30 p.m. at Wildfang West, 404 SW 10th Ave.
Matt Bellassai on tour. The hilarious star of Buzzfeed’s famous “Let’s Whine About It” video series loves bending traditional workplace policies with a funny, drunken rant in the office once a week. See him in Portland this July. Tickets are $25 and $50. 7:30 p.m. t 10:30 p.m. at Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St, # 110.
FRIDAY, JULY 29.
Grilled Cheese Disco. Savory Events is heating up the griddles with Desert Hearts label bosses Mikey Lion and Lee Reynolds for th Portland debut at the Grilled Cheese Disco! Cover $15. 9 p.m. to 2 at the Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont St.
CALENDAR SPONSORED BY
Free Speech: Live Storytelling Ft. It’s Getting Hot in Here. “An evening of intimate and inspiring storytelling from Portland’s most baddass women.” Featuring Dayna Reed, Co-Owner NXT Industries, Angela Jackson - Managing Director Portland Seed Fund, Rukaiyah Adams Chief Investment Officer at Meyer Memorial Trust, Jenelle Isaacson - CEO of Living Room Realty & Punk Rocker, and more. $10 entry - FREE w/ pqmonthly.com
COND SATURDAYS
by Cub Cleaners. Eagle Portland, 835 N. Lombard. Stranger Disco. An always-packed North Portland favorite queer dance party on North Williams; DJs Stormy Roxx, Vera Rubin and Sappho. 21+, $10, starts at 9 p.m., District East, 4306 N. Williams Ave.
ond and Fourth Saturdays) In the heart of Porte—dancing the night away and burning up dance h Saturdays of every month at Trio. Welcoming all es. DJ Lauren joins Wildfire, and this night features e I-5 corridor. 6 p.m.-10 p.m., Trio, 909 E. Burnside.
HIRD MONDAYS
o your favorite queer friends at Gay Skate. Look ys handing out copies of PQ. And, you know, you’ll ird Monday. Food drive for Take Action Inc. 7 p.m., Park Way. $6.
HIRD TUESDAYS
! Invite all the bears & chasers you know who karas, 1125 SW Stark St.
THIRD WEDNESDAYS
Judy on Duty. Lesbian hardcore. Judys, Judes, and cool ass freaks. Dance it out. DJ Troubled Youth. Organized by Ana Margarita and Megan Holmes. 10 p.m., High Mark Water Lounge, 6800 NE MLK.
THIRD SATURDAYS
LAST SUNDAYS
s monthly underwear,jock,mankini,etc.,fetish party every third Saturday. m. or if you use free clothes check upon entry after. After 9 p.m. othes must pay $5 entry. Clothes check and raffle prize provided
heir a.m.
Y
Twerk. DJs ILL Camino and II Trill. Keywords: bring your twerk. The city’s longest-running queer hip hop/R&B party—where artists, deejays, performers come to mix, mingle, and move on the dance floor. We promise you you’ll move all night long. 10 p.m., Killingsworth Dynasty, 832 N Killingsworth. $5. Club Kai-Kai. A crazy, cozy, packed dance party for queers at Saucebox. Club Kai-Kai (at it’s most basic) is an experimentation of nightlife, performance, and your gender preference. If you have questions, we don’t have answers; we just have a space for you to Kai-Kai. $5 cover, 21+ at Saucebox, 214 SW Broadway. Blow Pony. Check out the classic PDX party’s new venue. Here’s your raunchiest, fruitiest, grittiest, freakiest most fabulous packed dance party. 9 p.m., Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St. $7.
Comedy at Crush: Belinda Carroll and a slew of locals rustle up some funny. Special guests, and Crush’s signature cocktail and food menus. Donations, sliding scale. (Comics have to eat and drink, too, so give!) 9 p.m., Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. Queens of the Night: Alexis Campbell Starr. That’s all you need to know. But there’s more: she always welcomes a special slew of talented queens for a night that takes Hip-Hop from beginning to end. 8 p.m., Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. Free.
& boylesque wrapped in a taste of tease! Zora Phoenix, Isaiah ush, 1400 SE Morrison. $10. We’re featuring all of Zora’s events
to
FOURTH FRIDAYS
Chunky Dunk PDX. Come dunk your chunk with us at the Peninsula Pool in North Portland! Rock out with our rolls out! Chunky Dunk is a fat & (a)gender affirmative non-profit organization that focuses on providing safer shame-free swimming for every BODY! $5 suggested donation. 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. at Peninsula Pool, 700 N Rosa Parks Way.
Pride Preview
MONDAY, AUGUST 1
Sabbathhause Discotheque, gay night is back at Aalto lounge and it is bigger and more queer than ever before. Featuring some of the best deejays and performers around and hosted by night hawk Chanticleer Tru. 8 p.m., Aalto Lounge, 3356 SE Belmont.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 5
SATURDAY, AUGUST 6
Lumbertwink’s four-year anniversary. From the event hosts: “Lumbertwinks! It’s been 4 amazing years since Matt and Wayne decided to through a plaid party for our friends. 1000s of pics and an endless amount of memories later...we are BACK to blow it out at the Funhouse Lounge! Hop into our photo booth and meet some new friends.” $7 cover, $5 if you come in plaid or a singlet. 9:30 p.m. at the Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave.
MONDAY, AUGUST 8
Gregory Alan Isakov w/special guest Langhorne Slim. Isakov’s bright, emotional acoustic melodies evoke a spirit of travel and place, with a sentimentality for the American West in particular. Tickets $27. 8 p.m. at Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W. Burnside St. 2016 Mr. & Ms. Oregon State Leather, Oregon State Bootblack, and Oregon State Puppy Contest. In front of a packed house at The Embers Ave, your 2015 Oregon State Leather Family was selected by a panel of esteemed judges. There were moving speeches, hot fantasies, and more camaraderie than you can imagine! Now see it all again as the 2016 Leather Family is Chosen. $10, 21+, open to all. The Embers Ave., 110 NW Broadway. pqmonthly.com
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SATURDAY, JULY 30
FOTH SATURDAYS
Lez Do It at Killingsworth Dynasty. Special guest Riff Raff (SEA resident djs: Chelsea Starr and Mr Charming). Free. 21+ 9 p.m. at Dynasty, 832 N. Killingsworth.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 13
CALENDAR FEATURES
SUNDAY, AUGUST 14
Jay Brannan in Portland. Out singer/songwriter Jay Brannan was one of the first to leverage YouTube and online audiences into a successful music career. Come see him perform his new and old music in an intimate Sunday Night show. Tickets $13-14. 9 p.m. at Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E. Burnside St.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 14
Star Wars The Force Awakens in the Park. Summer is only three months a year, so be sure take advantage of Portland’s summer outdoor film series and get outside. Activities begin at 6 p.m. with live music, a climbing wall, kids activities and more. Food vendors will be in the park. FREE! The film begins at 8:30 p.m. or dusk at April Hill Park, 5740 SW Miles St.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 26
Drag Race All-Stars Season 2 Viewing Party. Get back into your weekly Drag Race routine at Scandals because Ru Paul and her fabulous queens are back for a second time in 2016 in All-Stars! Choose your favorites and enjoy the show with friends on the screen at Scandals. 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. at Scandals, 1125 SW Stark St.
Cascade AIDS Project community forum open house. An opportunity to engage in conversation about services: prevention, housing, support, and new programs including CAP’s LGBTQ Care Clinic. Express yourself and get involved with volunteer opportunities. Light food and beverages provided. Forum hosted by CAP’s Community Advisory Board and CAP’s Executive Director, Tyler TerMeer. 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. at Cascade AIDS Project, 520 NW Davis. St. #215.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 2
Black Lives Matter new member orientation. Learn the basics or link up with other activists involved in the politically active Black Lives Matter community. Meet other activists at an interactive new member orientation, kickback, and BBQ. “Learn about our work, what we believe, how we plan to get free, and become an organizer with #BLMPDX! We love you, we need you, and we can’t wait to break bread with you.” 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. at Peninsula Park. JULY/AUGUST 2016 • 17
By: PQ Staff
1 Donate blood, if you’re able. This is something not only necessary now, but all the time. Frustratingly, the FDA ban on blood donations from men who have had sex with men in the last year is still in effect, (and still woefully lacking in adequate knowledge or language about gender,) so reaching out to allies who can donate, and engage in dialog about the ban are both crucial.
SOLIDARITY
IS A VERB
2 Feel your feelings, but don’t claim ownership of Orlando if you are not part of the community actually attacked: queer and trans people of color, primarily Latinx. Yes, all queers face the potential of danger every day, but in highly varying degrees depending on privileges of geography, race, class, gender, and ability, among many other factors. Educate yourself, step back, listen, and find ways to uplift those folks and their voices in our community. Remember: ‘step back’ does not mean ‘check out.’ It is not enough to be aware, we need to be involved. This is our work to do, let’s do it with love. For love.
How to help after the Orlando massacre
3 If you have the means, donate money and/or time. Donate to the families and communities of the victims, and also queer and trans community centers, and shelters, and scholarship funds, and youth groups, and suicide hotlines, and clinics. Get involved, even if it’s outside your comfort zone. Pay attention to that discomfort, you’ll find clues about your privileges and assumptions there. Remember that you’re not doing “them” a favor, but rather working towards better for all of us. 4 Don’t make this a single issue discussion—gun control is not the new gay marriage. Our community faces a broad range of deep and sometimes divisive needs, and far too often the bulk of resources, dialog and support goes to a singular goal that benefits few. No shade to your gay wedding, love is beautiful and ritual, and recognition are powerful things, but what about homeless queer and trans youth? What about the increasing mur18 • JULY/AUGUST 2016
ders of trans women of color? What about our elders being forced back into the closet in sub-par nursing homes? What about the huge numbers of incarcerated queer and trans folks, and the immigrants stranded in detention or facing deportation? If your definitions of family and pride and justice don’t include all of these things, then the rough but not insurmountable truth is that you are part of the problem. 5 Educate yourself on issues that don’t directly impact your own life. Take classes. Read books. Do online research, join social justice discussion groups (and focus on active listening,) examine your own reactions and assumptions, pay attention to how much space you take up (and practice stepping back,) choose accessible communication styles and be mindful of varying access to theory and language. Interrupt racism and Islamophobia in conversations about Orlando, and everywhere else.
6 Don’t mistake security for safety. An increased police presence actually makes huge portions of our community feel less safe, which should be no surprise given the long history of police brutality, profiling, and misuse of authority when it comes to queers, trans folk, and people of color. Respect that this is true, even if it’s not true for you, and explore other ways to try and keep our spaces secure. Resources: https://www.gofundme.com/PulseVictimsFund http://www.redcrossblood.org Latinx pronounced “La-teen-ex,” includes the numerous people of Latin American descent whose gender identities fluctuate along different points of the spectrum, from agender or nonbinary to gender non-conforming, genderqueer and genderfluid. (from Why We Say Latinx: Trans & Gender Non-Conforming People Explain by Raquel Reichard, Latina Magazine, August 29, 2015) pqmonthly.com
FEATURE
#SOMOS
ORLANDO Editors Note: Orlando was a visceral tragedy, waves of grief, outrage, and fear rippling through our circles. We gathered we mourned, and we watched the media descend upon us without much grace or thoughtfulness.The PQ staff decided to use our platform to actually reflect our communities needs and responses, focusing on those most directly affected-- queer and trans people of color. What follows are personal stories from people in our community, which we are grateful to have. Please sit with them respectfully, and lift these voices up. We found them to be a balm and also lessons, and hope you do too. Special thanks to PQ Writers Samantha L. Taylor, Sossity Chiricuzio, Max Voltage, and Olivia Olivia for acknowledging the vast diversity of our community and inviting the many voices to help our healing process during this time of grief. #somosOrlando #ProudQueer #EveryLetterEveryColor #PulsePride!
AKILAH POWELL As a black a gender queer femme I learned very quickly that I will never be safe. It is something that I have come to terms with. What worries me most is not death. But what happens after death. As anti-blackness, racism, and white supremacy plague every single inch of how I navigate my life, safety is just a minute part of what I worry about. I worry about how I will get erased in my death. How white people will center themselves in the tragedy? How police will become more of a presence in our safe spaces as a guise for safety. It hurts that white people are centering themselves in this tragedy while perpetuating anti-blackness, racism, white privilege and white supremacy. It hurts that a tragedy that involved the deaths of latinx, brown, and black folks, are getting erased for white voices. It hurts that the corporations, the police, the organizations, who before the shooting at Pulse, were gladly rejecting, arresting, killing, silencing, and erasing QTPOCs; are now in deep mourning because somehow this affected the whole queer community. While they were the same ones, who silenced Jenicet Gutierrez for not finding happiness, not finding peace, in just marriage equality. Queer and trans people of color have been saying it’s more than marriage, we are dying. Yet the homonormative, mainstreaming, whitewashing of the LGBTQ movement told her to be quiet. We told you that it was more than marriage, and unfortunately, we were proved right. I am afraid, angry and saddened, by this tragedy. Because I know, that in a few weeks that queer white bar, will make me feel unsafe and unwanted again. That the police will still target, profile, and kill black and brown people. That trans women of color will continue to only be important for their deaths. That no gun control law will ever make me pqmonthly.com
safe because they are based on racist ideologies and Islamophobia. So, how am I feeling after this tragedy? The same as I felt before, except 49 beautiful people left this earth too soon, and much more were injured, traumatized and forever changed. However, the world will not change with them. It will stay the same because white supremacy does not thrive on uplifting our voices.
ALISE MARIE SANCHEZ I was fine all day that Sunday…until I wasn’t. As I explained to my mother why this attack felt so deeply personal, though I’d never set foot anywhere near Orlando. Why it felt like I awoke on Sunday morning with the weight of 49 people on my chest. Why I couldn’t put my phone down during brunch because I needed to be there for my people who were howling into the void of social media. Because I needed them to see that, I was there. That I could be a rock. I could show up. I could be fine. Until I was buckling my 3-year-old child into her car seat, and she touched my hand and asked, “Why is everyone so sad today, Mama?”. Until I had to find the words to explain to someone so small, and with so much love for the world, what had happened in that dark room in Orlando. I swallowed hard and said, “A man was very angry, and he decided to hurt a lot of people with a gun because he didn’t like who they were and who they loved. Those people are a lot like my friends and me, so we are feeling sad and scared today.” She thought for a moment, her small brow furrowed as she tried to fathom it all, “He shouldn’t have been so sad and mad. We should never hurt each other. We should help him be better. We should help our friends be not sad and mad, too. We will always be helping people.” I was fine until I wasn’t. I was fine until I saw this child confronted with the concepts of hatred and death, and witnessed her answer back with love. And then I wasn’t fine. I was crying in a grocery store parking lot while my child held my hand. I was crying from such overwhelming pain coupled with undeniable compassion and understanding from someone so small. Someone I need to nurture and protect, who in her turn always seems to nurture and protect me. So I cried for my family far away, in grief and in rage and in pain. But I also cried at that moment for the overwhelming hope that could be contained in this small one, this person who has never know darkness, and so can always carry the light.
C. BRADDOCK Likely, we will all remember where we were when we got the news about the Pulse shooting in Orlando. The reason, neurologically speaking, is that it is a “flashbulb memory” which imprints permanently because of the high emotions involved. Our brains literally hold onto that moment, and the strong feelings attached so that there is a reason for that thread you feel with the larger community when there is an act of
violence committed against the larger “us.” Most queer people know the fear of violence, the avoidance of small towns, the walking with your keys in your fist, the awareness to read your bodies fight or flight mechanism like a well-worn novel. You know--even if you are brave and strong, and confident--that you exist outside of some lines, and the danger of that. There are many things to blame for the massacre, including homophobia, racism, and dominantly (a common thread in all U.S. shootings) toxic masculinity: the idea that the performance or embodiment of masculinity is to be violent, unemotional, sexually aggressive and entitled. Much of the violence targeted at us as queer people stems from this version of masculinity. Patriarchy, white supremacy, and capitalism sell this as a positive model. It’s a dangerous lie that we men/masculine-of-center folks must actively resist. Toxic masculinity and gun culture are two sides to the same coin. They feed and empower each other to murderous ends, and it has to stop. Let’s use that flashbulb moment as a catalyst to mark when we remembered that “Justice is what love looks like in public.” Prayers and good thoughts are great, but both love and justice are verbs that require action. A lifetime of unlearning and relearning that starts with showing up for the conversation and being okay with being uncomfortable.”
D PEI WU, PHD For some reason today I am feeling a little broken open again. Hate does cause death. **Every** LGBTQ person that I know knows people who have died for merely existing. Many of us have contemplated suicide ourselves at various moments for reasons related to hate directed at us on very personal levels. Not just the ones who died in #pulseOrlando, or the ones who get beaten *to death* after a night out or walking out in public with their lover’s hand in hand, or the trans women of color we now hear more about beaten to death by lovers or police (#sayhername). But also the ones who committed suicide because the rainbow wasn’t enough, because the pastor said whatever, because their born family threw them out of the house or took away access to the baby cousins or dragged them bodily out of a family gathering, and on and on. These are private deaths, mourned by family and friends. These deaths are equally a product of the violent environment around us that hates our queerness, our gender bending, our fluidity, vibrancy, fierceness, our out loudness (even if it’s just the purple shirt and the fitted vest loud), the sweaty dancing bodies, our laughter in the face of your hate. Including the run of the mill liberal white middle class hate that we dare name the unnamed. Our not apologizing for being alive if we ever get to find that voice in our spirit and let them out. So while I am mourning the 49 dead in Orlando (yes still), I am also mourning William Brandon Lacy Campos and so much more. Life is a celebration and who knows that more than folks who face death as a necessary condition of being alive. This is not an abstraction. The ultra-right does have blood on their hands.
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And here I am. In my apartment. Existing. In all my crazy, crippled, fat, Buddhist-Christian, queer, non-binary trans, Latinx fullness.
IGNACIO MORENX Sunday morning June 12th is when the news broke. Our primarily Latinx brothers and sisters- our siblings- were attacked in their own home. Their temple. It reverberated in the bodies of all the queers who have ever felt unsafe in their own skin. Like wind chimes, it audibly clanged against our past and present traumas. We curled beneath the weight of every name added to the list of victims, and we felt the temptation of retreat. Everyone dealt in a different way. In my home on Monday night, a large group of queer/ trans people of color gathered together. We were all seeking a place where we could safely move through the processes of grieving that happens when dozens of people who look like you are murdered. As we collected, barely able to wear our own bodies, we created magic. It looked like this: We built an altar and read aloud the names of the victims, many of whom look just like my two Queer, Latinx brothers. We shared hugs, we reflected and mourned, we cried in pain and in anger, we began the process of healing as a community, we organized, we planned action. What do you do when your history is rooted in oppression? What do you do when one of the largest mass shootings in U.S. history is of your people? When they look like your beautiful, Queer, Latinx brothers? When they look like you? You create the kind of magic that has kept our community alive for so long: gather, mourn, heal, organize, act. It is the beauty of our community; we continue to thrive despite all of the forces who would have us gone. Queers are magic. Queer/trans people of color are magic. We are healing, we are resilient, and we are revolutionary. Thank you for continuing to exist.
JADEN FRAGA www.chronicillnesschronicling. tumblr.com My heart is heavy. It’s been heavy. It is a heaviness that I cannot get past. I cannot forget. Fifty of my siblings are dead. Family that I will never meet. Fifty-three more are injured. As their names are released, I can’t help but think “How many did not use these names?” Names forced onto them by “family” that abandoned them long ago. And now, now they will be buried under those names while “family members” will put on the show of weeping, of grieving. Or worse yet, they won’t even show up at all. Some, however, have left behind families who cared 20 • JULY/AUGUST 2016
for them deeply. Who will now hold the heaviness of loss and grief with them forever.
I’ve never been to a gay club, and I’ll probably never go. I’ve never attended pride, and I’ll probably never go to that either. I often hang out in groups of other QT folks, and I don’t know if I’ll still do that. I’m so afraid. You see, I never expected this... ...yet I always expected this... feared this. This was my biggest fear, come to life. Something I always imagined could happen but would rationalize my mind out of believing it would come to be. I’ve always feared for my life and the lives of other QTs that I love. How can I move forward without that fear? I don’t have the answers. Hell, I don’t even have hope. I only have fear and sadness. I want to move forward, but I’m not sure how to do that. When will they stop killing us? When will they see our worth? When can I stop being afraid?
LORI MORALES Dearest PQ Monthly Readers. In Orlando, affected are many; air weighs heavy with varied emotions. Present, I’ve witnessed/listened to those close (and not so close); their experience, thoughts, pain, unity, hurt, the trauma... The deadliest mass shooting by a single gunman in US history. The deadliest incident of violence against the LGBTQ community. The deadliest terrorist attack in the US since 9/11. Nearly all those killed, Latinos; thirty of them from my island/my home-Puerto Rico... Mi “Isla Del Encanto”. My hope -- as humans, as a nation, as Latinos, as LGTBQ’s, as Orlandoans -is that navigating through the repercussions of this tragic event, possibilities are nourished; through collective thought and action, greater possibilities created for the Orlando community, Latinos, queers, our nation... our race-- ALL that it us. Beyond acknowledging this tragic event, loss of lives, the stories you’ve read, videos you’ve watched, news feeds you’ve sought; beyond fueling the LGTBQ agenda, beyond fueling political stance, beyond fueling opinions on discrimination--
Reflection... Is the root cause hate? Hate for oneself, hate due to inadequacies, hate against others. If we acknowledge the root, perhaps less hate, more thoughtfulness, more inclusiveness, more understanding, more care, more patience, more love -- One Love -- can be created. If as individuals we live with a bit more empathy, with hope and love in our hearts; collectively, we will contribute to a world with less hate, less tragedy, less abuse, less loss of life. To me, the thought is inspiring. Interestingly, tragedies inspire/unite; they open us to transformation, open our hearts to growth, give way to possibilities; beautiful possibilities. Open your heart. Accept. Understand; help create a living experience free of bigotry, racism, sexism... Create the pulse from which humanity can grow and attain its greatest potential. Sincerely, Lori Morales.
LUC SMITH Pause. Everything paused on Sunday, June 12, 2016, at 8:10 am. I had just woken up and did the typical stretch and grabbing of the telephone to see what happened in the world as I slept. I read the text message from one of my best friends and the world stopped. “Have you seen the news about the mass shooting at the gay club in Orlando? Immediately, I scour news sources for information, and my heart breaks into a hundred different pieces. I cannot wrap my mind around the horror, the violence, and the savagery of the act. I was in a state of disbelief to know that one of the ultimate sanctuaries for LGBTQ people, the gay dance club, specifically Pulse, had been attacked. Patrons were shot and killed when moments before, they had been dancing and celebrating their lives in one of the few places where queer folk can feel free and at home. The reality was reinforced for me that no place is safe for us in this country. Every sector of my identity feels like a threat; Black/ Queer/Trans. As the names and photographs of the victims were revealed, I saw a reflection of the community that I surround myself with, here in Portland. Black and Brown smiling faces, vibrant and shining. Our existence and living are a bold resistance to the continual attempt at destruction and erasure. Over the next few days, I exchanged messages with friends as we checked in on each other. Concern and worried filled messages as we collectively grieved. Some friends curled up in bed and cried. Some friends gathered, danced, and raised money. Others attended vigils and prayed. I have felt shockingly numb since I first heard about the incident. The shift in my feelings occurred last Thursday as I was riding home from work, on the Max. My earbuds were plugged in and drowning out the rest of the public. “Origin of Love” from Hedwig and the Angry Inch started to play in my ears, and my thoughts wandered to the victims, who were among friends and family, by blood and chosen. By the final cresting verse, tears flowed #SOMOSORLANDO page 21
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FEATURE
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freely from my eyes and I wept openly. I cried for Continued from page 20 the lives taken, the community violated, for the comfort and safety that was stripped away. So much was lost that night. I wonder how we will recover. On the pain of (in)visibility as a queer Latinx immigrant.
PAOLA SALDAÑA This summer marks ten years since I moved to the United States from Mexico. To this day, I spend much time trying to justify my migration to myself. Even though I do not talk about it at length, my queerness is why I moved here. I came to this country not because Mexican culture is homophobic, but because I never once met an openly queer woman in Mexico, and I felt so alone. I came for a chance to experience visibility. To this day, even though my accent has mostly faded, I struggle with culture shock and a perpetual feeling of grief. I grieve my culture, my tongue, my family, the food, the mountains and my past. I can now say that I am visible. As a queer person. When I migrated, I did not quite understand, however, that I was going to have to give up other forms of visibility. As a light-skinned Mexican, I am never surprised when people do not read me as a Latinx, in fact, I recognize that this is a privilege that makes it safer for me to navigate this county. This erasure is deeply painful, though, particularly when it occurs in queer spaces. Because the reality is that there are very few spaces that we can occupy in which one identity is as relevant as the other, spaces where we can celebrate this intersection of who we are, areas where we can feel safe. Pulse on Saturday nights was that space; so for the past week, I have felt a particular grief that is a constant reminder of how unsafe we are when we are visible, and how painful it is to be erased by white queers and the media. And to the familia which we lost, hasta la victoria siempre.
GIAN-LUCA MATSUDA I moved to Florida my freshman year of high school. Pulse was actually the first club that I’d ever gone to; I went with my older sister (who is also queer), quite regularly. We both have several friends who still go to both that club and that specific night both to this day. When the news broke that there had been a shooting there, my heart sank. I immediately reached out to my sister (who still lives in Florida), and she was already making her way down the list of our friends who would have potentially been there. No one we knew was actually there that night, mainly due to the Pride festivities going on and the fact that there were lots of events happening in the area. It took me over a week to be able to look at any of the news articles - particularly the ones involving images of the people who had been injured or killed. I couldn’t have imagined how I would react to staring at a picture of a nowdead friend. It was incredibly numbing to imagine any of the people happy, going out to have a good time, only to pqmonthly.com
end up never returning. The one thing that I want to stress the most is that I in no way believe this to be an act of “Islamic Terrorism”, nor will I ever blame a Muslim person for this tragedy. My heart hurts for the people slain, but I am also worried for the LGBTQI Muslims, who are still walking this Earth and must weather the inevitable Islamophobia that will come from this, while also dealing with the homophobia already ingrained in society. I refuse to allow someone’s homophobia towards people who look like me translate to Islamophobia from people who look like me.
SEAN BROCHIN My dear old friend and butch brother KJ Morris was killed in the Orlando attack while bouncing at the bar. I keep going to the memorials, vigils, and I hear so many politicians, so much talk about G-d. But all I can think about was KJ. All I can feel is anger. It fills my head so that there is little left. Lack of sleep and anger make my mind feel like a storm of cotton fibers, my hands put things down, and I am unaware. KJ was a blue collar butch of color, a bar butch through and through. The queer bar was her safer space, her church, her domain. She always smiled at the newbies in the bar and handed out compliments to strangers, played matchmaker. She was always helping out, as a shoulder to cry on, advice giver, and mover of countless friends from apartment to apartment. And oooooh did she love to dance! Whether she be suave, controlled and debonair as Daddy K on the drag king stage, making all the femmes and butch fags alike swoon, or her long-limbed middle-of-the-dance floor self, moving and sliding with goofy abandon -- her dance and her laughter were infectious. In many cultures, you dance while you pray, and that dance itself is a prayer. When you go out on the next queer night, I want you to dance and think of KJ Morris. I want you to smile at everyone you meet, just like she would tell a stranger they look fabulous, just like she would. And I want you to dance your prayers for change and revolution in a church of our own making, just like she did. Dance like your life depends on it because it does.
L’TREZURE SAPPHIRE Too many times LGBTQ+ lives have been synonymous with tragedy. With every headline, with every life lost, with every private and public battle to sustain our humanity we are reminded we are born of tragedy. We are reminded of our otherness, our oppression, the blatant disregard for our safety and well-being, and still expected to push on and contribute value to a society which does not seem to care whether we live or how painfully we die. They expect us to carry on as they have as if nothing has happened. But how many lights can you bear witness to the extinguishing of without fearing for your own? How much hate, how much vitriol and abuse must we endure, silently and submissively before we are recognized as human?
The most recent tragedy, in a much too long list of tragedies, should have been a wake-up call to America. After all, who could look at that many innocent lives lost and be content with continuing with the world as it is? Unfortunately, the answer is too many, and the people who cry for us today will pass legislation against our existence tomorrow. We cannot rely on the world as a whole to aid us. As has been the case for as long as we have been out and proud, we must rely on ourselves. Only we can save us. We are not solely born of tragedy. We are resilience, we are strength, and we are courage. We are the flame that will drive out the darkness from the corners of a civilization that was not made for us but who will accommodate us or be burned by the fiery, fury of our light. We are not a tragedy though we have experienced tragedy. We are a triumph, we are love, and we are Orlando.
JUSTIN PABALATE, Q CENTER I vow to take action to stop violence, including gun violence, that our communities so regularly have to suffer. Our trans women of color and most vulnerable community members deserve to have the chance to thrive in all things employment, housing, health, and happiness. Ever since Pulse, I have been organizing. I vow to take an intersectional approach that increases resources for all of our QTPOC leaders doing work locally, statewide and nationally. In solidarity, love and action, Justin Pabalate, Executive Co-Director, Q Center
KRIS RAY The day before Orlando, I rallied three of my closest friends together for brunch at Morning Glory Cafe in Eugene, Oregon. Brunch that day was so special because the school term was over, 2 of us were graduating college, and we now had the ability to come together and bask in our queer femme blackness unafraid. Not even 24 hours later, we are jolted from tender sleep. Push Notification after push notification served as reminders that we are not welcome nor able to be free in this world. How many times have the 4 of us gone out and danced in darkness unsuspecting of the possibility that death was looming within the drum and bass? We worry so much about our safety while out in the streets that we forget safe spaces also run the risk of being unsafe for qtpoc bodies as well. So, in the wake of this attack on our queer family from afar, we clung to each other desperately. I love you’s became a requirement. We hug like we will never see one another again. We use group chat as a means to make sure we are all safe and connected. We support each other in our artistic and intellectual endeavors because sometimes these are the only ways we can feel. We get tattoos and piercings that we’ve always wanted because this life and the ability to live it is never promised. We grieve alone. We grieve together. This is how we have been navigating Orlando. This is how we’ve been gathering the strength to exist and carry on. Interwoven; Black plant witch prayers for the victims of the Orlando shootings #SOMOSORLANDO page 22
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FEATURE broken hearts, I am transmuting the clamor of whiteness into the acknowledgment of sorrow and the recognition of our tangled roots.
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GALADRIEL MOZEE
LESLIE KIMIKO WARD
We have been taught that our brown and black bodies are a border. A line that separates what we struggle to achieve from what we are permitted to have. We have been told that our faces belay our faults, that our frames stoop under the burden of whiteness, that every point and angle of our corporal selves exists only about a comparable spot in a lighter complexion. We are shown that when one goes missing, gets beaten, killed in public, murdered in private, raped, that there is little recourse. We are fed the poison labeled “we kill each other”, “we do it to ourselves”, “we ask for it”. We. We have different stories for ourselves. Are writing new futures, unearthing truthful histories. Our bodies are a boundary and a bridge, fortified and strong. We do not disappear into the silty ether when whiteness fails to acknowledge us. We see each other. We honor each other. We grieve each other. We find a way across, a way to connect. The only thing I know to do with my grief is given it to the earth. To plant it under my tomatoes and peppers. To let the bees and wasps light on my face and carry away tears like pollen. I tend the herbs. Tell the sage I am empty inside. Hollowed out by sadness and fear. The sunflowers are only whispering their presence now and can easily shoulder my ache. “Hand it over,” they say, “We can show you how to turn your anger into action.” Our pain is not separate, our anger is not useless, our tears are not flotsam to be claimed and sold for the social gain of white guilt. When I say your names, when I grow medicine in your honor, when I make healing for both our
I walk with my grandfather through a hallway filled with the photographs of handsome, young, dead men. He points his cane at one picture, then another, raising his eyebrows repeatedly with the pride of recognition. “I know him,” he says. “Him, too.” I listen to him reciting names. I love the slight stick of his dentures, the way his accent reveals itself in these traditional diphthongs. I watch him squint at the pictures, leaning in, lifting his glasses to check the accuracy of his memory. He’s spot on every time, impressive for a 93-year-old, (94 if you’re asking Grandpa). He counts his age the Japanese way. Grandpa stops below a photo. He pats me on the arm. Pay attention, that pat means. I avoid thinking about how his touch isn’t as strong it used to be. He never used to be a patter. A thumper, maybe, but a patter? That’s new. “He was my friend in high school,” Grandpa says, lifting his cane high enough that I worry about him cracking the glass. “We played football together. I watched him get killed right in front of me. He fell on the path at my feet.” I take this in. “That must have been hard,” I begin to say, but it’s too late. He’s already turned around, shuffling down the hallway in search of his cousin. He finds his cousin’s portrait. I take his picture beside it. “My cousin was there for only two weeks before he got killed,” Grandpa says. I should probably state here that my grandfather isn’t recounting these deaths the way you might be reading them. Somber isn’t his bag. He’s a matter-of-fact kind of guy. An engineer. An engineer with the 442nd while we’re being specific, the all-Japanese-American regiment, the most highly decorated of WWII. My grandfather enlisted, as did every single one of these handsome young dead men, from inside the barbed wire fences of America’s internment camps. Now, I don’t want to presume, but we’re in Oregon, and those barbed-wire fences, and relocation orders? They were likely put into place to protect families like
yours from people like us. Generational trauma. We know a thing or two about it in the LGBTQ community. In the wake of the Orlando massacre, as I watched the complex emotions of my friends playing out over social media, I couldn’t help but view our shared grief through the telescopic lens of my own cultural identity: queer, yes, but also hapa Yonsei: bi-racial fourth-generation Japanese American. As the minority faces of Orlando’s dead were revealed, I witnessed old cracks of racial fear spreading through my own family, cleaving us along barely-knitted fault lines, splitting us once again into “white/American” and “other.” This trauma in Orlando joined the container of my work as a community healer in Alaska, where long-term effects of the severe generational trauma of Native populations are finally bearing out, unleashing tidal waves of addiction, violence, and suicide rates in target demographics 9 times the national average. I have something to say about this. My words are still forming, but I need to tell you something about Stonewall, about the City Nightclub, about coming of age in drag queen dressing rooms, about safe spaces being more than exercises in rhetorical dodgeball. I need to tell you about pride, about watching my friends: lesbians/business-owners/pillars of my community, holding the reins for not one, but two, safe and celebratory parties for thousands of patrons, all while silently weathering the death of their close friend. I need to say something about how it felt to watch those same women get steamrolled, both times, by gay men flexing their ripening privilege. I need to say something about how far we’ve come from Angels in America. I need to say something about being human, and about infusing our vitality into those who suffer the loudest. I need to say something about the danger of whipping past trauma and death at warp speed, about covering it with glitter and politics. This is me patting you on the arm. This is me thumping. Pay attention. Every second we have here is a gift. We are all in this life thing together. Learn this. Begin to live it. If you identify with this community, listen more often than you police. Earn the mantle of culture bearer. Wear our harsh and glorious history over every action like hand-stitched regalia for your first dance. Push beyond “like” and “share” to challenge yourself, daily, transforming every death into a legacy of activated kindness. Spread love. Shine light. Cultivate your own joy like it’s the last kernel of food on a starving planet. Do it now. Some of us won’t be here tomorrow.
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FEATURE
WOMAN COPS OF COLOR, WHAT IT’S REALLY LIKE IN BLUE By Shaley Howard, PQ Monthly
Now I can help break through barriers and create change. Officer Ortiz: I got into the police force formerly in Long Have you ever wondered what being a police officer is Beach. I was going into some sort of counseling or youth really like, what experiences they face daily or what it takes programs to help at-risk youth. When I did my internship to be an officer if you are a minority or female? I had the I just loved the police work and thought if an opportunity recent pleasure of sitting down with a few officers from the came up I would become a police officer. I moved from Los Portland Police Bureau – Rashida Saunders, Joana Ortiz Angles to Portland for the job. and Ramsey Boak. PQ: Overall, what Each officer took time would you say are out of their busy lives some of the biggest to share some of their challenges for you as a stories and experipolice officer? ences. Officer Saunders: Officer Saunders, The biggest challenge who identifies as Afrifor me is coming to can-American, was grips with the fact that born and raised in you will not be able NE Portland and has to please everyone. I been on the force for think of how often we over four years. Officer show up and we do the Ortiz has been on the best we can given the force for five years and resources and authoridentifies as Latina/ ity that we have in Officers Joana Ortiz and Rashida Saunders photo by Shaley Howard every situation. Yet Mexican and Officer Boak identifies as a white male. All of these officers are there’s going to be unhappy civilians. I think realizing that extremely passionate about their jobs, expressed love for has been one of the biggest challenges for me. what they do and shared openly about the challenges, frusOfficer Ortiz: The balance between family life and work. trations, and joys of being an officer. You have to deal with some of the most negative people and PQ Monthly: What prompted you to a career in law situations, then go home and leave it all behind at work. enforcement? It’s very challenging. I have a husband and son. Seeing cerOfficer Saunders: I grew up in NE Portland. Police offi- tain types of abusive situations and even homicides can be cers were always in my neighborhood back then. In the extremely emotional. I have to come home and pretend the early 90’s Alberta was much different that it is today. There situations never existed. I have to protect my family. To find were gangsters on the corner – selling drugs, doing drive- that balance I try and surround myself with positive people bys – lots of criminal activity. I was frustrated because we outside of work and do lots of family things that distract were like prisoners in our own neighborhood. We were me from replaying disturbing experiences. scared to even cross the street. On top of that, the feeling Officer Boak: I tend to compartmentalize things. Whenin our neighborhood at that time especially was, no – we ever I see something at work that’s very stressful or see don’t trust the police, even though all my experiences with something that the general population would be comthe police were positive. And every time the police came I pletely distressed about, I compartmentalize it. That has saw them stand up to those bad guys. I would see the lights to stay at work when I leave for home. It’s very challenging. and sirens and always got excited thinking to myself, that’s PQ: What are the challenging parts being a female offiwhat I want to do! cer? I also wanted to be accepted by my people and commuOfficer Saunders: It’s mostly the comments I get from nity. Initially, I was afraid and thought I couldn’t be a police the public. It’s never been from officers. I interact with officer. So instead of applying to be a police officer I went people that think women shouldn’t be police officers. When into corrections and did that for three years. But the desire I show up as the primary (first officer on the scene), it’s and passion of being a police officer were still inside me so my job to talk with you. But some people refuse to speak I decided to apply for a police officer position. I’m so happy with me because they see a male officer on the scene and I made that decision. It’s funny because all the fears that demand to speak with him which bothers me. We always I had didn’t exist. Everyone I grew up with is proud of me work through it, but those are the sort of things that stick and supportive. But it took me being strong enough and with me after I leave a call. confident enough to push through and pursue my dreams. Officer Ortiz: I think it’s just assumed by everyone that
a female will have to prove herself competent and able to do the job. For example in training, I was surrounded by men who knew how to handle firearms and weapons, and I didn’t. So it was a struggle to learn. I had to always practice to fully grasp this aspect of policing. I remember coming home extremely frustrated because it seemed like no one else was struggling. And although my class was very supportive it was still intimidating being the only woman. PQ: It seems like making any police bureau more diverse with more women and minorities would be an advantage. What are the different characteristics you believe it takes to do this job and how they would strengthen the bureau? Officer Saunders: We all bring different qualities to the table. I’m not 6’5” so I’m not gonna be able to go toe to toe with most guys. Understanding my strengths and respecting what others bring to the table, allows me to work well with others. It’s also beneficial to have patience and a passion for helping people. All the defensive tactics and learning to handle firearms are taught in basic training. Officer Ortiz: Understanding your strengths and communication skills is paramount to being successful. As women, many times we are able to recognize that it’s not our physical strength that makes us valuable but our ability to communicate and de-escalate possible violent and physical confrontations. If I’m confronted by a large male, I know I need to go through my list of tactics on how to handle the situation because a physical alteration may not be the best approach. So keeping a safe distance from someone extremely agitated and saying things like, ‘Hey bud you need to calm down here. I’m here to help’. Those are my strengths. It also helps if you have a little thick skin when dealing with the public. There have been many situations where people would call me a spic or tell me to go back to my country or go back in the kitchen – so being able to build that thick skin is important. Officer Boak: The female perspective. If it were all just a bunch of guys out there doing police work, we’d only see things from a male perspective. Bringing female officers into a situation allows us to see something we’re missing. Women often have the ability to assess a situation and de-escalate unnecessary confrontations. There have been many times I’ve been on a call, and it’s just taken a female officer being there to remind me what it is that we’re there to do. We’re not there to argue with anyone or make them have a bad or worse day. We’re there to try and make things better overall. When we bring in more diversity everyone is able to see situations in new ways which often takes us out of our boxes. It helps us handle calls more effectively and safely for everyone involved. PQ: With the racism here in Portland and strained relationship in communities of color, how as police officers does this affect you and how do you handle tense situations? WOMAN COPS OF COLOR page 25
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FEATURE
WOMAN COPS OF COLOR Continued from page 24
Officer Saunders: Race relations are a huge issue. It’s always been a part of policing. It takes a lot of work and time to establish a good working rapport between the community and police. It has to be something that both groups want to be a part of. I feel like, throughout the history of the Portland Police Bureau, we are doing better. I know that sounds bias, but really, we want to support our community. We show up at every call and have the best intentions. People are calling the police for help because they’re having one of the worst days of their life and want our help. We show up to help in dangerous, scary situation that you couldn’t deal with alone. We know we will never be able to please everyone, and that’s one of the hardest parts. We are trying to do the best we can and sometimes it can feel like no matter what we do it’s not going to be good enough. We are part of this community. We live here and raise our families here and always want to improve on community relations. I think the only way that can happen is through more positive communications and interactions and not just when people call 911. It has to happen on a regular basis. Every day, on my job, I’m out talking with people and interacting with my community so they know that yes, I am a police officer, and my job is to uphold the law. But I am also a member of this community. Officer Ortiz: I think it’s very challenging for us to get out there in the community as much as we would like due to budget cuts. If it’s a planned event, then there’s more time allowed. For instance, we’re intentionally involved with the adults and kids at La Hacienda properties right now. It’s a mostly Hispanic community who are not used to police being there or officers that speak Spanish. We are interacting and trying to build community at the property. Many in the Latino community don’t report crimes out
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of fear or because the officer isn’t able to effectively communicate with them. When people do come forward and see nothing being done, it’s interpreted as the officer not doing their job, when in fact, it’s often a huge language barrier. As a Spanish-speaking officer, I am able to clarify things so a better connection and trust is built. We want the community to not be scared of us. We want people to call us if they need help and support, and tell their neighbors we’re here to assist. We’re not here to deport anyone. We’re not corrupt. I’ve had people cry in front of me saying how proud they are, that they’ve never seen a Hispanic female officer. Little girls come up to me and say I didn’t even know women could be officers. I think seeing a Latina officer in uniform gives them hope. I know growing up many Latina girls are literally told to graduate high school and don’t get pregnant. We need to have more positive role models they see who encourage them and let them know they can do more in life. Officer Boak: I’ve struggled with this for a long time. It’s a tough thing, even for me personally. There’s a huge focus on race relations and policing in general. From a policing point of view, you see all across the country officers that are just shutting down. The Ferguson Effect is a real thing. Nobody wants to be the next YouTube sensation. There are so many officers that will and want to do proactive policing. It’s a huge part of who we are and our job. PQ: How does intersectionality affect your job? Officer Saunders: Coming in as a black woman, I feel like I’m fighting numerous battles. It is incredibly important to me that I make sure I do my job well so that I earn the respect of my coworkers and colleagues. I need to know that whatever job I am called up to do, I was chosen because I’m the most qualified and not how I look or my gender. To me, that’s the most challenging part of my job. I often question my qualifications when there’s an opening. It’s my coworkers that are always encouraging and pushing me to apply. One of the things you deal with as a female and/or a minority is that for a white male there is no second guess-
ing. They could be not qualified, but no one ever questions it because they’re not a diversity point. It is real, and these are the things that go through my mind. From an early age, girls are coddled and encouraged to be safe and not take chances. While on the other hand, boys are encouraged to do risky things – jump off a building or do whatever they want. This carries into adulthood where we (women) will only apply for positions we are often overly qualified for. Yet men, in general, even if barely qualified will go for more challenging job opportunities. As women and minorities, we need to be aware of this self-doubt and self-deprecation and not let it stop us. Officer Ortiz: The last thing you want is people to think you got the job because of your gender or a minority status and they needed to meet their quota. Women often doubt their opinions and abilities, especially when coming into a field dominated by men. The first day of role call I felt completely out of place. Not only was I the only female out of 30 men, but I am also a Hispanic female. It’s a different culture, different everything. PQ: Advice you would give to anyone considering a career in law enforcement? Officer Ortiz: If you are qualified to apply, then go for it. You won’t regret it. It’s completely changed my life for the positive. It’s a job where you’re able to make a difference and rewarded with being able to see it. There are always negatives with any job, but I see much more positive in what we do. I love my job and not a lot of people can say that. It’s different every day. You’re also able to move within the bureau. We get paid well with good benefits. Officer Boak: As an officer what is most important is whether or not you’re competent – that you are able to do your job. Those are the qualities I look for in fellow officers. I want to know the person that is backing me up can carry out their work. More important than all the race and gender lines is the question, ‘Are you capable of doing the job?’
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NATIONAL
Q&A: THE RE-SEGREGATION OF AMERICA very technologically savvy way, in a way that you couldn’t have done in the age of doing maps with parchment paper and pens.
WHAT IMPACT HAS THIS HAD ON POLITICS AT THE STATE LEVEL?
Peter Schurmann, New America Media
EDITOR’S NOTE: After Mitt Romney’s defeat in 2012, the Republican Party determined that it needed to connect with the nation’s increasingly diverse electorate. But two years earlier, writes author Dave Daley in his new book Ratf**ked (Liveright), GOP strategists had already embarked on a strategy to win control of Congress by in effect “re-segregating” America. The title of the book comes from a term used to describe political deeds done on the cheap to sabotage opponents. Project Redmap used redistricting to create gerrymandered districts in key states based on race and political preference. It’s “the oldest political trick in the book,” according to Daly, and one with political implications long after the upcoming 2016 race. Daley is editor in chief of Salon.com. This interview has been edited for clarity and length.
HOW MUCH DID YOU KNOW ABOUT GERRYMANDERING BEFORE STARTING THIS PROJECT? I didn’t understand until I started in on this exactly how systematic and purposeful the Republican plan in 2010 was. I fundamentally didn’t understand how the Democrats could have the kind of year they had in 2012. In which they win 25 of 33 Senate seats that were up, in which Barack Obama gets reelected with a big Electoral College majority. While the House only budgets seven or eight seats, and the Republicans still have a 234-201 majority, and the House remains the center of Republican obstruction to the agenda of a democratically elected president. As I looked at it, trying to figure out how this could happen, I learned, “Oh, the Democrats got 1.4 million more votes in 2012 for their House candidates than Republicans got.” And I’m like, “Well how is that possible?” What has happened is that the lines have been drawn in such a way as to pack all the Democrats into as few seats as possible leaving Republicans to take the other votes for themselves. And they used the oldest tool in the book – the gerrymander – but they used it in a radically new way, in a
The transgender bathroom bill in North Carolina, 60 percent of the state is opposed to it, it’s pushed through by as gerrymandered a legislature as exists in the country, which does not represent North Carolinians. They have drawn the map in such a way as to allow a minority to govern the entire state. And this happens in state after state. In Ohio, there are more votes at the statehouse level for Democrats in 2012 [but] Republicans win a supermajority 60-39 in the statehouse. There are more votes for Democratic candidates in Michigan at the statehouse level, and it’s a huge majority for the Republicans. You don’t get those results without having lines that are drawn intentionally to disenfranchise people. Look at the emergency manager bill in Flint. There is something that a gerrymandered Michigan legislature passes. The people of Michigan, who voted for Democratic candidates in the House, end up with a legislature that puts the emergency manager thing through. They have a referendum that overturns it, and the gerrymandered legislature then says, “No, we’re putting it back.” And that is the provision that allows them to replace the government in Flint with the folks who make the decision to reroute the water supply. So people think of gerrymandering as the thing that put us to sleep in eighth-grade civics class. It is the building block of everything. When you draw these lines, you have the power to create policy outcomes that are sometimes the exact opposite of what the majority wants.
HOW DID MAPMAKERS TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE INCREASINGLY DIVERSE LANDSCAPE IN THESE STATES? There are two main ways you can do this. There’s packing, and there’s cracking. So, packing means trying to cram as many people as you can into one district. A good example of that is the Philadelphia district that elected Senator Chaka Fattah. He wins with the largest number of votes of anyone in the country – way over 300,000. Because they packed so many Democrats into that district, he wins at 80 percent. As a result, that allows all the other suburban districts to be bleached and more Republican. Michigan’s 14th – which I drove every turn of – the goal there is to connect the poorest, most African American neighborhoods in Detroit with the city of Pontiac, which is
about 35 miles north. In order to connect Pontiac and these neighborhoods in Detroit, you draw really insane, swerving lines that … candy swirl like a psychedelic lollipop on all of these sides. So the 14th District elects Brenda Lawrence at 78 percent of the vote. But Michigan also elects five or six Republicans in neighboring districts. Cracking is the opposite. The one axis of the 14th District is 8 Mile Road, made famous by Eminem. And there’s one little cutout … that is the town of Farmington Hills – 10,200 people, white, suburban. It’s about a couple square miles, and they have intentionally vacuumed those Republican votes out to hand them to the neighboring district.
ARE PEOPLE IN THESE COMMUNITIES AWARE OF WHAT’S BEEN DONE? I think there is a lot of frustration. I think people have begun to figure out that this is intentional and that in many ways it is the re-segregation of America. They are using race in these districts as a means to pack as many Democrats and African-Americans into one district. It’s a gross abuse of what the Voting Rights Act intended.
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE OTHER OUTCOMES OF REDMAP? What these lines have done is that they have made it so that our elections are completely non-competitive at the House level. You now have something like 435 House seats that are non-competitive. And when you have non-competitive seats, the only election that matters is the party primary, and when the only election that matters is the party primary, you get a race to the extreme. Congressmen fear governing, they fear reaching out to the other side, because they know that the only way they will lose their seat is if they do their job and govern. That is the surest way to earn a primary challenge. So it changes the tone and the tenor of our politics. It changes our ability to actually work together and get things done. This is not politics as usual. It is not necessarily a reflection of a divided country. Politics and partisanship have hardened, yes, but there are basic majorities that believe in climate change, who back sensible immigration reform, that are pro-choice, that have reasonable positions on gun control. We don’t have to as broken and dysfunctional as we are.
WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE FOR MINORITY ELECTORATES? If you’re looking at this as a question of African American representation in Congress, it soared in the early 1990s RE-SEGREGATION OF AMERICA page 27
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FEATURE
#BLACKLIVESMATTER TODAY, BUT WILL THEY MATTER TOMORROW? By Walter Robinson II, Special for PQ Monthly
As a black gay man whose very existence has been a constant struggle for freedom in America. The recent murder of #altonsterling and #philandocastile by the hands of police and the five officers murdered at the hands of a sniper. I have come to terms that in my lifetime my freedom will be conditional. Last week, I was a mixed bag of emotions, having to compartmentalize my anger, sadness, disgust, and fear knowing that this could have been me, any member of my family, and/or any of the young black men in my internship program as I navigated the workplace. Under all of these circumstances we all could have continued on with our daily routines given that this is not the first time a black person has been killed at hands of police: #tamirrice #toomanyblacknamestocount and the countless other black
RE-SEGREGATION OF AMERICA Continued from page 26
because of these minority-majority districts. You get a Congressional Black Caucus that grows to its largest size since Reconstruction. And you can understand why black voters in the South, frustrated with being probably the biggest part of the Democratic Party coalition there but always being told to stand in line behind a white Democrat, might get frustrated and how this would be an appealing play. That said, the consequences are the Republicans take the majority in all these states, and you have states like North Carolina and Georgia, Alabama, etc. that had been electing large delegations of white Democrats and by the early 1990s they are electing white Republicans and a couple of black Democrats. So it gets complicated. It’s bad for the Democratic Party, but it’s certainly good for representation of African Americans in the Congress and the country. What changes with this latest redistricting is that the technology advances to a point where it’s so easy to draw really precise lines that lock in the partisanship and also the ethnic nature of these districts. It was not as easy to do this in the 1990s. It becomes so easy to group people based on ethnicity and to pack as many of them as you can into these districts in such a way that I think is not empowering … it seems to me that the goal here is to re-segregate rather than to encourage representation. pqmonthly.com
people this year. However, there was a different aura in the air that affected everyone around me as I came into work, walked around the city, and marched arm to arm with people to mourn the loss of #altonsterling and #philandocastile. As a solutions driven person who has committed his life to the betterment and empowerment of others. I reflect on the call of action I have learned and teach to the young black men on a weekly basis this summer. We call it the 3C’s: Challenge, Commitment, and Continue. As people continue, ask “what can I do?” If you truly value humanity, I ask you to put the 3 C’s in action. How will you challenge yourself and others to break down the barriers of institutional racism? What will you commit to today, this week, this month, this year, your lifetime to ensuring that actual equity is not just something we say we value, but plays out in our everyday behaviors?, and Will you continue to have these challenging conversations about race and institutional racism in your personal and professional lives? So that one day in the future I will never have to ask if “#blacklivesmatter today; but will they matter tomorrow?”
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These new districts, where Republicans win, are whiter than the rest of America at a time when America is becoming less white.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT WITH THE NEXT CENSUS IN 2020? After the 2020 Census, the lines will again be redrawn. What we have to keep in mind is the lines are redrawn at the state level. So the system is locked up in many, many places. And for this to be undone, it has to be unlocked in many, many places. It’s not as simple as winning one election. Voter turnout is key, but these maps are so tilted that there has to be a concerted effort to take back state legislative chambers. The brilliance of Redmap is that it went to the heart of how we redistrict. It went state by state and said, “Well, the people who have seats at the table in Pennsylvania are the governor, the house, and the senate. So let’s be sure we have the only three seats.” So the Democrats, if they want fairer lines in Pennsylvania, have to start to think about how they flip chambers. Now, they have to flip the chambers on these tilted maps. If they don’t tilt the chambers, you will have the same people drawing lines in 2021 as did in 2011. They have to flip more than a dozen state legislative chambers in 2020 on tilted maps. And those are the races that matter most. It makes 2016 feel irrelevant. It almost does. We almost need not bother holding these elections until 2020, because the outcomes are not in doubt. Which is a sad, sorry condition? JULY/AUGUST 2016 • 27
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PHOTOS
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Featured: Photos from the 2016 Portland Pride Parade and Pride Festival. Photos by Christopher Alvarez
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