PQ Monthly May/June 2014 Edition

Pride Preview: What Moves Us FREE

PQMONTHLY.COM Vol. 3 No. 5 May-June 2014

INSIDE: Tori Amos (!!!), Christopher David, Pride Party Guide, QDoc, Cameron Esposito, Spring Reading Recommendations, columns, & much more!

PHOTO BY ERIC SELLERS

MONTHLY

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PQ TEAM

ALL PRIDE ALL THE TIME

Melanie Davis

Owner/Publisher melanie@pqmonthly.com

Gabriela Kandziora

Director of Business Development

gabriela@pqmonthly.com

chris alvarez

Art Director chris@pqmonthly.com

Pablo Cáceres

Special Projects pablo@pqmonthly.com

editorial TEAM daniel borgen

Editor daniel@pqmonthly.com

nick mattos

Founding Staff Writer & Social Media Manager nick@pqmonthly.com

Andrew Edwards Copy Editor

SALES TEAM larry lewis

Sales Representative larry@pqmonthly.com

lynda Wilkinson Sales Representative lynda@pqmonthly.com

Christopher, David is one of the many things giving us Pride this season. Check them out on page 22.

It was late Friday afternoon during production week, and I was hunched over my laptop, furiously typing and wrapping up a week’s worth of work; I was tired and more than a bit cranky and I couldn’t wait to sneak out of my Northwest apartment and attack happy hour with a force. Right around closing time, I received an unexpected and exciting email from Peter Zuckerman at Oregon United for Marriage. It seems our opposition, the ones behind IP 52 — the bill that would allow business and corporations to turn LGBT people away for goods and services for “religious reasons” — realized their attempts to thwart the march toward equality were futile. The writing is on the wall — we will get marriage (by the time you read these words, it might already have happened), and there’s no way our state would stand for such blatant discrimination. So our opposition abandoned their efforts and suspended their campaign.

Let’s take a moment and savor this. Our opposition gave up before they ever really got started. We don’t have to sit through a disgusting campaign season where the opposition airs misleading and hurtful advertisements.

We don’t have to have our existence put to a vote. More than 460 organizations and leaders, including 190 businesses and 167 faith leaders, joined the United Against Discrimination coalition. That’s huge: Nike, Powell’s, New Seasons, Google, PGE, Alaska Airlines — just to name a few. They stood up with us and for us and loudly declared, “Hell, no.” (I’m taking some liberties with the language there.) In a state with a history like ours, it’s sure nice knowing we don’t have to battle another ballot measure.

I think Pride is the perfect time to take stock of where we are and recognize how far we’ve come. It is a time to be thankful, a time to recognize the trailblazers who came before us while recognizing those who stand with us now. Pride aims to create spaces for inclusion — to make sure all voices are valued, heard, and embraced. It’s a theme and mission we take seriously at PQ Monthly all year long. And I think that last piece is where we could all stand to do some thorough soul-searching. Do we value and recognize our diversity? I’d like to think we do.

Our history is rich and complicated. Our experiences vary dramatically.

Yet we try very hard to come together to create community, weaving our histories together to create some semblance of a whole. This Pride season, I’m encouraging all of us to do a better job listening (myself included). Try to see another person’s point of view. Take a moment to consider their perspective. Sure, we’re married to our own beliefs — everyone is — but that doesn’t make them the most true. No one has a monopoly on truth.

There’s a little bit of truth in all perspectives, even the ones with which you disagree. And wouldn’t it be nice if we took time to talk to each other instead of over one another?

It’s a privilege for me to edit PQ Monthly. Reading our writers regularly challenges me and the ways I view the world. I am regularly inspired by our community’s incredible stories — and I hope you are too. There’s strength in our differences, and Pride, to me, is about embracing that notion.

--Daniel Borgen

A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:

National Advertising Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 sales@rivendellmedia.com

photographers

ON THE COVER

Pride Party Preview......................................................................................................Page 5

Oscar Foster

Queer Debate, a How-To Guide................................................................................Page 8

media

A Message from Pride NW..........................................................................................Page 9

Staff Photographer oscar@pqmonthly.com

Sammi Rivera

Director of Video Productions

Cameron Esposito Records New Comedy Album...................................................Page 13

contributing writers TJ Acena, Ben Burwitz, Belinda Carroll, Marco Davis, Gula Delgatto, Andrew Edwards, Leela Ginelle, Kim Hoffman, Shaley Howard, Konrad Juengling, Richard Jones, LeAnn Locher, Monika MHz, Miss Renee, Katey Pants, and, of course, your PQ Editorial Team

503.228.3139 proudqueer.com

THE NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE OF PQ MONTHLY IS RIVENDELL MEDIA, INC. BRILLIANT MEDIA LLC, DBA EL HISPANIC NEWS & PQ MONTHLY.

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Out of Character, San Francisco, ‘99.........................................................................Page 14 The Reality of Religious Exemption Laws...................................................................Page 16 PHOTO BY ERIC SELLERS

Our inspiration this month was Pride, so we asked a few of the (many) people who inspire us to grace our cover.

From left: Karol Collymore (Equity Foundation), James Lindquist (Our House), and Brian Forrester (Hands on Philanthropy). This inter-generational shot was taken at Cafe Nell, one of the city’s most beloved cafes. Photo by Eric Sellers, styling by Michael Shaw Talley. Read more about our models on page 10.

QDoc’s Complete Schedule.......................................................................................Page 19 Tori Amos (!!!)................................................................................................................Page 20 Style Deconstructed, Christopher David....................................................................Page 22

Plus: Turn a Look, art briefs, news briefs, our coastal correspondent, a letter from Basic Rights Oregon, and much more. Columns: ID Check, OK Here’s the Deal, The Home Front, Living Out Loud (by Kathryn Martini), The Lady Chronicles, Everything is Connected, OK Here’s the Deal, and Cultivating Life. What do you want to see in our pages? Email Daniel@PQMonthly.com.

May/June 2014 • 3

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PRIDE

SO MANY PARTIES, SO LITTLE TIME: A PRIDE PREVIEW

By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly

THURSDAY, JUNE 12 Queerlandia: Dubbed Carla Rossi’s “Gays of Future Past” (see what she did there?), this is the kind of social you can really get behind. There’s mixing, there’s mingling, there’s dancing, there’s drag — party architects manage to cram everything you love about queer Portland and put it under one roof. It is, as they say, “a mind-bending overload of your favorite performers, deejays, artists, and friends, complete with twisted visuals and sickening décor.” (And proceeds benefit Bradley Angle House!) Aside from the Rossi, here’s what — and who — you can expect: Shitney Houston, Liza with a J, Melody Awesomazing, Seattle’s RiffRaff, Sappho, Serendipity Jones, an arts and crafts market, Hold My Hand, Orographic, Huf ‘N Stuf, and all the queers you’ve been dying to make out with.

Do not miss it. Catch Carla while she’s fresh, because this queen is working all weekend long. 9pm, Embers, 110 NW Broadway. Cover TBA.

There’s nothing I love more than Pride. OK, that’s a bit of a mistruth — I really love San Francisco and laying on the beaches of Waikiki and going to Neko Case shows, but Portland Pride is right up there with them.

Easily among my top 10 things that happen every year. (Or at least every summer.) (Definitely Father’s Day weekend.) OK, I jest. I love Pride, I do — and I love all the parties and nightlife it cultivates.

Let’s face facts — everyone’s complaining because Pride is splintered and all over the city. It’s true, it is. But it’s not like traipsing from the west side to the east side (and vice versa) is so hard, kids. Put on your walking shoes and make it happen, lest you miss out on something really special.

Our city’s landscape is changed — and there’s no “one place” you can count on to see everyone. (I count that as a blessing.) So save your launFRIDAY, JUNE 13 dry quarters, set aside some cab fare, This is where things begin to get and explore scenes you might not othThis Pride, two queens headline your Sunday. Bianca Del Rio real. You’ll need to peruse your options erwise venture into — you might be (above) and Adore Delano. They’re both exquisite creatures. and make some tough choices. But pleasantly surprised. Below you’ll with knowledge comes power, so here goes. (Keep in mind find a handful we can vouch for: (Sidebar: It costs money to throw parties. Cheerfully pay this is just our first guide — it is not meant to be an all-inclusive list of all events hapyour covers — your cash supports art.)

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pening Pride weekend. That comes in June.)

Queer Lit Happy Hour: Now this is new and exciting.

Join some of the Northwest’s top LGBTQ writers and publishers for this one-of-a-kind happy hour. Featuring Tom Spanbauer, author, “I Loved You More” and founder of Dangerous Writers, Lidia Yuknavitch, author, “The Chronology of Water,” Carter Sickels, author, “The Evening Hour,” A.m.

O’Malley, Independent Publishing Resource Center, Cathy Camper, author, “Low Riders in Space,” reviewer Lambda Literary, Chloe Eudaly, owner, Reading Frenzy bookstore, Michael Sage Ricci, teacher, Dangerous Writers, publicist, Hawthorne Books. Come early to mix and mingle with hosted appetizers and free beer to the first 100 people in the door (there will also be a full bar available). Door prizes from Reading Frenzy, Tom Spanbauer, Sage-Ink Custom Tattoo and more TBA. 5pm, Free, Bridgeport Brewing Company’s Heritage Room, 1318 NW Northrup.

Poison Waters and Friends Happy Hour Show: Poison Waters & Friends are back in Al’s Den for one of their notorious Happy Hour shows. Come cheer on guests Kourtni Capree Duv, Ambrosia Schock, and Eugene’s Diva-Simone Slaughter. The theme is Pride, clearly. Bring your friends and get ready for a fast and friendly, fun, and funny Happy Hour experience. No cover, as per usual. 5:30pm, Al’s Den, 303 SW Twelfth.

Taking Pride on Stark (through Sunday). The last of the Pink Triangle stands proud and tall, and aims to entertain you all weekend long. Caravan of Glam, Deejay Robb, Miss Mylar, Pindar 3, Saturday Night Orphans, and much more.

(Stay tuned.) Cover is typically $5 before 7pm, and $10 after — so swing by early and get your bracelet, kids. Proceeds PRIDE PREVIEW page 5

May/June 2014 • 5

NEWS

PRIDE

PRIDE PREVIEW Continued from page 5

benefit Cascade AIDS Project and Peacock Productions (Audria M. Edwards Scholarship Fund). Scandals, 1125 SW Stark.

Second Annual “Extravaganza” Vogue Ball, brought to you by Alexis Campbell Starr and Shiny Presents. Children of Portland, assemble your houses. Strike a pose and bring back your girls. It’s time for a traditional vogue ball. Celebrity judges: Heklina Heklina, Poison Waters, Madame DuMoore.

Performances by Ms. Starr, Ms. DuMoore, and many more to be announced. A portion of ticket sales go to Cascade AIDS project.

Doors 9pm, performances 10pm, category call time 11:30pm. Categories TBA: find the event on Facebook. Rotture, 315 SE Third. $10 advance, $15 at the door.

Last but certainly not least: Laid Out and Gaycation have a Gayby. #NSFW is gonna be a wild night of dancing and general debauchery open to all of Portland’s beautiful queer people. To make sure everybody feels welcome, the promoters are keeping the cover to a low $5. This isn’t a party for a select few — they want to see everybody celebrating the beauty of collective pride.The night features a line-up of some of the city’s most prolific DJs — and a guest from up north. Deep breath: Georgia Ray Babycakes, Gossip Cat, Mr. Charming, Misti Miller, Bruce LaBruiser, and Pony’s KKost (Seattle). 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5.

SATURDAY, JUNE 14 Gayme of Thrones. Pique your interest — this hunt/race will be fun. Prove you’re the champion! Find the event on Facebook and stay tuned. 3pm. More details TBA. Blow Pony’s Seventh Annual Queer Mutiny. This marks the Pony’s seventh Pride — it started off as Gay Bash back in 2007.

Expect lots of queer diversity, dancing, bonding, history, and unity on the dance floors.

Deviants, bents, pervs, and more with an agenda to dance, celebrate, be sexual, love, and enjoy the homosexual lifestyle. SSION, Double Duchess, Glitterbang — for starters. Jens Irish, Airick X, Stormy Roxx, Kasio Smashio keep you moving. 9pm, Rotture, 315 SE Third. $8 before 10pm, $10 after.

Control Top, Pride Edition: Control Top is a queer experience, a destination.

The newest among the trusted staples, this quarterly dance party blends skillful music,

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stunning visuals, and photography with lots of hot queers you’re dying to hook up with. Event architect Katey Pants (Roy G Biv) has long provided sweaty bodies, rad outfits, and nasty fun. Wanna be the talk of the town? Take your shirt off here. Hosted

by Chanticleer Tru, featuring Rye Rye (Baltimore) and Bomb Ass Pussy, and music made for the dancing by Ms. Biv, Nark (Seattle), Mr. Sister, and Gossip Cat. Disco nap, please. 9pm, White Owl Social Club, 1308 SE Eighth. $12 advance, $15 door. Stranger Tickets.

Gaylabration: Going into its fourth year, Gaylabration just gets bigger and better! DJ Tristan Jaxx and Lasers by Laseronics! See ad page 6.

SUNDAY JUNE 15 (AFTER THE PARADE) (DISCO NAPS) I am very sorry if you didn’t get your shit together and buy tickets to A Big Gay Boat Ride. Because I can say with all the certainty: you are missing out. Bianca Del Rio! Bianca! Stand at the waterfront and watch for me, I’ll be holding her in my arms and waving at you. Look for the Portland Spirit.

Very Best, Daniel #Grannytrigger featuring Bianca Del Rio. Due to scheduling changes, Sam Sparro will no longer be headlining. But never fear!

Bianca is taking over. Think Tabatha Takes Over, but better. Plus the beautiful Madame DuMoore hosts. Don’t ask questions, it’s Pride. Just do it. Two floors, hot deejays, go-go dancers, drag queens, and dancing.

Deejays Jakob Jay, Monika MHz, Pavone (Seattle, Bottom 40), Art of Hot. Jackie Daniels Interior Delusions VIP lounge. And, of course, the cool vocal stylings of Grammy nominated Sam Sparro. I met him several years ago in San Francisco — he’s as charming as you image him to be. 8pm, Branx, 320 SE Second. $15 GA, $40 VIP (includes meet and greet), Stranger Tickets.

Dickslap! Featuring Adore Delano. A let loose scenario for boys and girls and more boys — a wonderland full of free beard rubs, slick hands and magical dancing gogo men, where the whiskey shots go down easy and the sounds of the discotheque parade around and intoxicate you until you finally wake up from the dream, potentially next to someone you don’t remember. Got it? Carla Rossi, Shitney Houston, Roy G Biv, Nark, Jens Irish, etc. etc. And Adore! The queen of cute. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $12. Stranger Tickets.

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May/June 2014 • 7

FEATURE

PRIDE

LGBT COMMUNITY DEBATE 101: A HOW TO GUIDE

By Roey Thorpe, Special to PQ Monthly

The LGBT movement is experiencing a remarkable moment in its history right now, with unprecedented momentum and attention. So much is changing, and so fast.

When something bad happens, mainstream media sees it as news. When we win, it’s no longer an anomaly. This is what we always wanted, right?

But this intense environment also reveals our weaknesses. One of the ways that we are weak is how we handle disagreements about strategy within our community. We don’t know how to debate and disagree in a way that is civil and respectful, that treats different points of view as valid and worthy of discussion. Instead, we resort to gossip, personal attacks, and drama.

There are plenty of examples from the past year alone. Should former ex-gay leader John Paulk be forgiven and accepted into our community? Should Basic Rights Oregon hold off on turning in signatures for a ballot initiative and push for a quick court decision on marriage equality? Should the Equity Foundation accept a donation from the anti-LGBT owner of a local market? In all these cases, the debate quickly left the realm of the principles involved and rapidly became about questioning the competence of leaders and organizations, and about the “real” motives of everyone involved.

I can say from personal experience that this behavior is exhausting and disheartening. I can also verify that it’s a problem nationally, not just in Oregon. As difficult as it is to be Queer and/or Trans in a hostile world, for those who find themselves in leadership positions the reality that taking a stand will make you a target of your own community is often too much to bear. It’s why some people choose not to lead and why others burn out and quit. And in the end, we don’t learn and grow from the experiences.

We can do better. Here’s my roadmap for turning destructive vitriol into spirited, productive debate: 1. Learn the Facts. When something happens, don’t rely on word of mouth. Read everything you can before forming an opinion. The details are often critical to the strategy.

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2. Listen to Opposing Views. Often, we don’t disagree as much as we think we do, and there’s truth in different perspectives.

Not being willing to really listen, and seriously consider, an opposing viewpoint means that you’re not secure enough to do so. Just listen, think, and discuss. You might not change your mind at all, but you might learn something regardless.

3. Assume Best Intent. This might be the most important step of all, and it applies to everything we do as a community and a movement. It’s never fair or appropriate to suggest that because someone disagrees with you, they’re less committed or passionate or aware. You might see ways that their argument would benefit from more information or a different perspective, but that doesn’t mean they are ignorant or uncaring.

It’s offensive and insulting to suggest that someone else who cares enough to voice an opinion is somehow inferior to you in their dedication. Instead, appreciate their passion and assume it is equal to your own.

4. Focus on Principles. One of the most exciting things about civic discourse is that we have an exciting opportunity to discuss what we believe and why, and who we are and want to be as individuals and a community. Few people take the opportunity to engage in issues as complex and as immediate as the ones we face, and they provide a chance to have the kind of defining moments that will change our lives and the world we live in. Anyone who was part of the gut-wrenching strategy decisions of the first No on 9 campaign in 1992 will tell you that these debates not only shaped the LGBT movement in Oregon, but who they are as people.

5. Offer Solutions, Not Just Criticism.

Criticism is easy. We act like the most cutting critique reveals the sharpest mind, but it’s really solutions that require creativity and courage. A bunch of critiques without solutions is like a pile of dirty unmatched socks: nasty and of no use at all. Challenge yourself to offer a solution for every problem you identify, and you’ll see how difficult this really is, and how lazy it is to just dish out the criticism.

6. Remember: No One Knows for Sure.

When it comes to strategy questions, none of us really knows what the right answers are. We may have strong opinions, but we’re trying to predict what will happen and to make decisions accordingly. Even if we disagree strongly, we’re in the land of opinion here, and there is no right answer. So tread lightly, because your certainty could crumble in an instant.

7. Value Relationships Above All. Our movement is making unprecedented progress. Most of us will live to see a time when there is a level of legal equality that we wouldn’t have dreamed possible 20 years ago. But we will still have a lot of work to do, and lives to live. Our community is precious, COMMUNITY DEBATE 101 page 10

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PRIDE

HONORING THE IMPORTANCE OF PRIDE IN OUR COMMUNITY

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By Debra Porta, Pride Northwest

When Daniel asked me to write an article about Pride for PQ’s Pride edition, I really wasn’t sure what to say, or where to start.

One would think that after having been so deeply engaged for the last seven years, talking about Pride would be second nature, and sometimes it is that easy (as many a friend who now know more about Pride than they ever wanted to know can attest).

And sometimes, all of those seven years just pile up, making it difficult to pick just one or two things to talk about.

Overseeing the Pride Waterfront Festival and Parade is not an easy task, particularly for a primarily volunteer organization. It takes lots of time and lots of work.

Attendance and participation continue to climb—the Portland Pride Parade is now averaging about three hours, and Portland police estimate 25,000 people are on the streets each year, cheering it on. Every year, new businesses and organizations join the parade, with more and more people in each contingent. The lines to get into the festival grow each year, with new sponsors coming on board, and booth spaces consistently selling out.

If statistics are to be believed, Oregon is home to over 200,000 LGBT-identified adults. In Washington those numbers also top 200,000. Portland’s Pride celebration does exactly what Pride was intended to do—it demonstrates the strength of our presence and our power in numbers. The Portland Pride Waterfront Festival and Parade itself brings hundreds of thousands of dollars into our economy each year. This doesn’t include all of the other Pride-related events and happenings that occur around the festival. Each year, more and more of our community participates in Pride, out and proud. And people pay attention to that. Elected officials and decision-makers pay attention to Pride—as an indicator of how large and impactful the LGBT community is—in the Pacific Northwest.

At Pride Northwest, our top priority in everything we do is to honor the imporpqmonthly.com

tance of Pride to our community, and to ensure that everyone has a place at Pride and is represented by the Pride experience. No matter the differences we have had, every person that I have served with on the Pride Northwest Board of Directors has gotten that. They have been driven by a commitment to Pride and to the best Pride experience we can bring to the LGBT community.

And they have understood the importance of showcasing the depth and diversity of our community. While Pride celebrations have a much more festive component than when first organized, we never lose sight of the importance of visibility for all LGBT people, and our role in ensuring that visibility. There is nothing about Portland’s present-day Pride celebration that doesn’t contain their mark. Stef-Anie brought a level of administrative stability not seen previously; Hank’s commitment to social justice within the LGBT community itself—and the visibility and importance of the Trans community—still guides me today. Ejiria’s straightforward commitment to community inclusion challenged us, and bettered our resolve to live up to what Pride could be. Mark’s attention to a wide array of artistic expression and community relationships helped to expand how we viewed ourselves. Ben and Patrick stepped in at crucial times to help stabilize in the midst of significant change. And James’ addition last year has played a significant role in helping us to move forward, to overcome a number of obstacles, and to look ahead to the future.

I was reminded of how important our visibility is, when I recently had the opportunity to spend significant time outside of Portland proper. All of a sudden, I had to-again-become aware of how I might be perceived by the people around me. I found myself thinking twice about how much to share about myself. After having finally gotten used to introducing my wife as just that, my wife, I hesitated. At one point, I even began to question whether how somePRIDE IN OUR COMMUNITY page 15

May/June 2014 • 9

NEWS

PRIDE

A WORD ABOUT ACTIVISM

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Mouthy &

The trio we picked to grace our Pride Preview cover includes a group of individuals that inspires us. Thanks to Karol Collymore (Equity Foundation), James Lindquist (Our House), and Brian Forrester (Hands on Philanthropy) for being excellent cover models — and living, breathing examples of community. We chatted with each one a bit about activism and Pride — unfortunately, our chat with Mr. Forrester didn’t happen by press time, but look for him online, where you’ll also find expanded responses from all participants.

James Lindquist: The first time I realized activism was important was in high school when we started to learn about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The idea that someone would not be accepted just because of their skin color seemed ridiculous to me. Becoming HIV-positive in 2004 was also a big moment for me, and made me realize that I had to do something. I had lived my whole life being part of the group — supporting things through donations, attending events, or talking about issues with friends and family but never really “looking for an answer” or standing up for something specific. I’ve lost friends to the disease, but never thought it would touch me — that it could happen to me. After becoming positive I realized how many perceptions and stereotypes that there were in the community — and within myself.

Karol Collymore: Activism was always in the fabric of my family’s life. My parents were constantly volunteering and encouraging my sister and me to get involved in things we cared about. The moment that changed me from volunteer to activist was in 2004.

I had moved to Portland and the No on 36 campaign was in full swing. I saw a family of four holding signs that said “One Man One Woman” and it broke my heart. I knew in that moment that there was more I could and would do to support the LGBTQ community.

JL: I’ve had the honor of talking about HIV/AIDS to a number of schools ranging from junior high to college. Last year I was at a Junior High and one of the students at the beginning of the class said that he didn’t want to be there and that the subject made him uncomfortable. The teacher talked him into staying. During the class I told the students about how early on I had told a co-worker from a previous company about my HIV status. This co-worker told me that she no longer felt comfortable around me, and asked to have her schedule changed so that we would no longer have to work with me. She said that she was afraid of catching it, and that it was my fault that I had become positive. I explained to the class how this made me feel, and how this had added to my already diminished feel-

ing of self-worth, and ended up drawing even more into myself. At the end of the class the student, in front of all of his classmates, came up to me and gave me a big hug. He looked up at me and said, “No one deserves to feel that way.” I still get a little teary-eyed recalling that moment.

KC: I think running for office was the most I have ever put myself on the line, professionally. I was able to talk about my ideas and beliefs openly while trying to run a campaign I can look back and feel good about. I did not win, but I took a chance and came out the other side proud of my effort and grateful for new friends I made along the way.

Pride matters to me because it is a time that our city recognizes the LGBTQ community and its positive impact on Portland.

There is so much joy and celebration it’s hard not to come away from Pride feeling inspired and happy. Pride offers the community the chance to celebrate themselves and a chance for the community at large to see a swath of support from churches and corporations, to families and friends that are inclusive and supportive of equality.

JL: Pride matters to me because it allows us all to come out for the weekend and for that time period there is no hate and no separation. It’s a time for people to come out and see how organizations like The Standard, Alaska Airlines, Intel, Nike, and others support their employees and the community they serve. There are thousands of people that come to Portland for the weekend and shows others that we are everywhere — that we are your brother, sister, father, mother, teacher, doctor, etc.

I feel that we as LGBT people have become so accepted in our area (Portland) that we don’t always recognize, or appreciate, the fact that it’s not the same everywhere. As the younger generation has gotten older, and is now at the clubs, in the bars, dating, working, having families, etc., that it’s [being queer] no longer the issue that it used to be in Portland. Yes there are still instances of hate and violence that come up, but it continues to get better.

COMMUNITY DEBATE 101

way on the issues that we face, and I invite you to join me in that effort. Let’s leave the personal attacks and drama behind, and focus on our own values as individuals and a community.

Thorpe is presently the Director of Strategic Projects at Equity Foundation; before that, she served as Executive Director at Basic Rights Oregon. pqmonthly.com

Continued from page 8

and the people around us who care deeply about equality will continue to be our most important source of love and support.

I’m committing myself to engaging in a more productive but no less passionate

For me Pride also matters because it allows us, as organizations and also personally, to promote the work that organizations and people are doing for HIV/AIDS. It allows us to show thousands of people that people living with HIV are just like anyone else and can be anyone that they know. It’s so great to see CAP, Our House, and others marching in the parade and being at the waterfront talking about getting tested and what services are out there.

--Daniel Borgen

NEWS PERSPECTIVES

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May/June 2014 • 11

PRIDE

PRIDE: QUEER IS A CULTURE; QUEER IS A HISTORICAL LEGACY

Katey Pants (far left) is an artist, writer, dj, party girl, extroverted loner, cyborg feminist, shrill harpy, and lover of coconut oil. Catch her quarterly for Control Top, 3rd Saturdays of the month at Panty Raid, and make your way up to Seattle the first Saturdays of the month at Pony. Ask her to go thrifting with you or to share coffee and tender drawing time. katey-pants.tumblr.com

By Katey Pants, PQ Monthly

LIFE IS GOOD. ENJOY THE RIDE!

www.paradiseh-d.com • 10770 SW Cascade Avenue, Tigard • 503-924-3700 12 • May/June 2014

Summer is coming. Summer is here. And my favorite thing that I love to hate about summer is Pride. Every year I nearly break myself in half throwing parties, going to parties, living my outdoor camping dreams, having conversations about nightlife and queer life, over-socializing my secretly introverted ass, and trying to push myself and my community to make vibrant, original queer art and politics. Pride month is my busiest work month out of the year. I am a visual artist, deejay, and party promoter in Portland and I travel a lot. And as a dyke-control freak-Sagittarius-emotional-loud mouth-workaholic from hell, I live for it. I don’t have a party called Control Top just because I am just clever. If I could make my month look like that all year, I would probably do it because well, I love being a huge lez and a cultural curator.

Pride is important culturally and politically. It’s a mixed bag of what seems to be a similar conversation every year about why Pride is important and why it is problematic. My reluctance in writing this article came specifically around just not wanting to sound like a broken, boring record.

We know Pride is important. We know that in the conversations about Pride events and in queer culture, rich peoples’ voices eclipse the experiences of poor peoples’.

We know that gay men’s events are seen as more authentic and fun whereas women’s events are seen as inauthentic and corny.

That’s the same obnoxious playbook complex oppression has been doing to everyone and it sucks.

In my years of radical political activism and protest, I had this visceral reaction to mainstream Prides in various cities because being exposed to crass commercialism is gross and disappointing at best. The gaudiness of traditional Prides can grate on my nerves aesthetically as well because I know we as queer people are way more stylish than just the overpriced rainbow crap sold to us on the waterfront once a year. I still have a similar grossed out reaction to traditional Prides because I know as queer people we can do better. I know that we can connect our cultural celebrations to political goals aside from jingoism around being family-friendly gay Americans. It’s unfor-

tunate because mainstream Prides have resources and connections to throw gigantic, all-ages queer parties, but instead often we see crass advertisements, one narrative of marriage equality, corporate voices, and the removal of radical sex from our of queerness. Which is boring.

For me, queer is a culture and queer is a historical legacy. It’s also important to me because I actually do not think I am just like straight people. I am different and I enjoy my difference and my cultural legacy. Also, I need to share space with people that also experience institutional homophobia on the daily to help keep me sane. This is not to imply that queer culture is a monolith, because it is not. Queer culture—like any culture—is rife with problematic contradictions, subsets, differences, and intense disagreements. Without those intense disagreements and differences, what we end up with are generic slogans that erase our complex stories. Queer historical legacy is one that is not a monolith as well, but is one of histories that have been erased through devaluation of different ways of living, narratives that have been lost due to untimely death and erasure, subjective, non-lineal/ non-cognitive modes of finding each other, and secret histories that are passed down only through our interactions and are contained in our bodies.

I want to see queer Pride spaces have the fierceness and fucking put back into them while at the same time creating actual physical space for all kinds of queers to come and kick it on a nice day in Portland. Gay Prides across the nation started out from the call of Gay is Good and from the call of Gay Liberation. I reconcile my crankiness and show up every damn year for various cities’ prides because all kinds of queers deserve to take up space. All kinds of modes need to be valued. Pride has the ability to bring rural, disabled, plural families from the margins into one space. That space is often being sold out to the buyer who wants gay money at that time. And I yearn for a conversation about how increased visibility always runs the risk of completely selling out and depoliticizing radical ethics.

So this year, I wish you all a lovely, complicated, contradicting, and very happy Pride. pqmonthly.com

PRIDE

FEATURES

CAMERON ESPOSITO BRINGS HER COMEDY TO PORTLAND FOR NEW KILL ROCK STARS COMEDY ALBUM

Charming, aesthetically pleasing, and wildly amusing--Cameron Esposito returns to our fair city for a night of (your) dreams.

By Trish Bendix, Special to PQ Monthly

Comedian Cameron Esposito has been to Portland a handful of times, but her show on May 30 at Mississippi Studios will be special, as she’s recording her new live comedy album to be released on Kill Rock Stars.

Originally from Boston, the now L.A.-based Esposito is thrilled to be working with the legendary local indie music label that has released the work of bands like Sleater-Kinney, Bikini Kill, and the Gossip.

“I’m realizing I’m actually like the first female comic that they’re going to release something with, which for Kill Rock Stars is very cool,” Esposito tells PQ Monthly. “It’s the third comic album [they’ve put out].

I’m their first gal so I’m really excited about that, with the history of the label, they’ve done for women in music and also the fact that it’s run by a woman, you know Portia Sabin who is the head of the label. It’s very unusual for there to be a female-run label.

So it’s very cool.”

Esposito hosts two podcasts: Wham Bam Pow, a sci-fi film focused-show with her fiance (also a comic) Rhea Butcher, and Put Your Hands Together, a live weekly show recorded at the Upright Citizens Brigade.

Both podcasts have aided the out comedian in making a name for herself after moving to LA from a handful of years spent on the Chicago circuit, where she pulled multiple hosting gigs and stand-up events. This past year alone she’s appeared on the Chelsea Lately roundtable and has been called the big thing in comedy by Jay Leno after they appeared on the same episode of The Late Late Show. Needless to say, the timing is right for the release of a live comedy album.

“I wanted to do something to mark where I was and just to be able to send stuff out to people because people are so interested in consuming content right now. If you’re a comic, if you can give anybody anything, they’ll listen to it, you know what I mean?” Esposito said. “But I knew that I needed to have a bigger release under my belt and gearing up for that, I’m getting a lot pqmonthly.com

of great national exposure which I’m really excited about and I wanted to give people something to listen to.”

Having recently coming off a large national tour with Comedy Central’s Anthony Jeselnik, Esposito feels like she’s ready to deliver a tight set at Mississippi Studios, where the venue will be intimate enough for her to riff with the audience, something she’s especially good at.

“I’m going to try and do a little bit of that because I feel like otherwise it would be not indicative of who I am,” Esposito said of audience interaction. “With this album I hope I have some time to be in the moment, but I also think I might plow through and be a little more driven in terms of getting to the punchline.”

Being an out lesbian has proven to be an interesting challenge that Esposito is happy to take on while touring. As someone who is very out in her act (“I am a gay person so everything I talk about is from the perspective of this. I don’t even think about it, like I’m not pandering to anybody, I’m not not pandering to anybody”), it’s inevitable she will receive feedback from her audiences, and that tends to be an interesting balance of the positive and negative.

“When I talk about getting engaged on stage, it really is oftentimes the first time that audiences have heard somebody talking about that and that just makes it more important to be personally, to feel like I should discuss it,” Esposito said. “Also it’s still surprising to me, that’s the world where we are. I can tell, people come up to me afterward, from their comments—that this is still a very new thing for people. Not necessarily a new thing in my life. I feel like ‘Oh we’ve come so far!’ and then you go places and --I do get some backlash but I feel like just as much as I get people who are interested and shocked. That’s still wild to me to realize that.”

However Portland proves to be a different kind of audience than Esposito is used to, as the city’s oft-discussed open-mindedCAMERON ESPOSITO page 34

May/June 2014 • 13

PRIDE

STYLE

OUT OF CHARACTER, SAN FRANCISCO, FALL OF ‘99

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Mouthy &

There were four others in attendance there, all women, occupying a diner booth. All four lived in the Tenderloin, a I traveled to the Bay Area in fall ‘99 with the idea of per- sort of red light district in San Francisco. All four were physforming drag, locating a support group for transgender ically transitioning, making them the first people I’d ever people, and writing plays that would be produced. met to be doing so. Of the four, one was an older woman While my life until a year previous had been lived with seemed to be the group’s facilitator. Two of the others lived caution and circumwith her, and she spent spection, I was then much of the meetexperiencing a burst ing attempting to conof courage and extrovince me to move in, version, brought on by also. The two who were travel and a new openher roommates were a ness about my gender. couple.

In summer ‘98 I’d Of the couple, one traveled from LA, where was a sex worker, who, I’d lived since childaccording to her parthood, to St. Petersburg, ner, was addicted to Russia with a university crack. Her partner was group, leaving the West a dishwasher on FishCoast for the first time. erman’s Wharf, who When the five weeks of said she had a trust study ended, I had no that would soon fund desire to return to what her gender confirming felt like the small, dull surgery, at which point, routines of my life, so “In my mind, trans femininity and decadence went hand in hand.” she said, unsentinenI stored my things and tally, she’d leave her set off on an improvised cross-country road trip, having, partner to seek a husband. The non-roommate was also a in those pre-cell phone times, only an email address teth- sex worker, who’d been having trouble receiving her horering me to friends and relations. mones from a government medical office, about which she In a whirlwind, I relocated to Athens, GA, where, a con- spoke at length. After the meeting, I went back to the aparttinent away from everything I’d known, I began more and ment and was shown the room for rent, which cost $150 a more to explore my gender. I stayed there almost a year month. Following the tour, much Factory-style, Bowie-esbefore taking a long, frugal trip to NY, London and Paris que decadence ensued. and heading back to California. I don’t think I ever came In the midst of all of this, I was trying to write a play, out at that time. It didn’t occur to me to say, “I’m transgen- which was a spin on “Twelfth Night,” only with guys disder,” perhaps because I’d never heard anyone else say it. guising themselves as girls. I remember little of it, and am I was pursuing men at the time, which is a little puzzling, not too torn up about its disappearance from my files. as it was not my practice prior or since, and was instincIn San Francisco I got a second job, working as a house tively sex-averse, harboring repressed traumas relating to manager at Theatre Rhinoceros, a big, venerable LGBTQ the topic that would take a decade to surface. venue. My time there was rich in a way that interests me The Bay Area was just beginning to become impossibly very little; it would make a good movie that I probably expensive then. A roommate and I found a tiny, tiny two wouldn’t care to watch. One night, however, when I was bedroom apartment in Emeryville, though, from which working the Rhino box office, Heklina happened to come we commuted to movie theater jobs we had in Berkeley. by. Seeing me, she said (and I believe this is an exact quote), Early on, I attended Tr-nnyshack, a drag review in San “Oh, you work here? I didn’t know. Here -” handing me a Francisco. At the time, I was afraid to go anywhere appear- slip of paper - “This is my real number. Call me and we’ll ing female by myself. As a result, my social life involved get you booked at the show.” Connections clearly counted meeting guys, and arranging dates with them so I could go for something in the world I was entering. somewhere dressed the way I liked, which is what probably The events of the following month or so were so atyphappened that night. Some things that happened to me ical to the life that preceded and followed that rememthat evening were: a person asked to suck my toes; some- bering them hardly seems like reflecting on my own past. one told me he’d heard that women who wear nose pierc- Having made an acquaintance at the movie theater who ings (I had one at the time) are always up for sex. dealt drugs, often in the storage room adjacent to the lobby, Unfazed, I decided I’d like to perform there. In my mind I procured ecstasy one night, and had another ribald evethen, transfemininity and decadence went hand in hand. ning at the apartment I was considering moving into. The The few associations I had with transfeminine culture dishwasher and I attended a sex club called the Power involved Andy Warhol’s Factory scene, and musicians like Exchange. I danced and hooked up with half a dozen or so David Bowie and Suede’s Brett Anderson - counter cultural men and women—while concurrently pursuing a long distypes seeped in drug use, glamour and hints of deviance. I tance, email romance with an acquaintance in Italy, who visited the Tr-nnyshank’s venue one afternoon, as per an I’d met when he was studying at UCLA, and which I broke arrangement with Heklina, the show’s operator and ring- off on the eve of his impending visit. leader, and expressed my interest. She gave me a number It all appears now like a fevered attempt to construct to arrange a booking, on which I left several unreturned a life in which I could be female, since, in my mind, that messages. was something I couldn’t do in the life I ordinarily lived.

Around this same time, I attended a trans support group The night of my Tr-nnyshack debut, friends from I’d seen listed in the Bay Guardian, a local alternative weekly.

SAN FRANCISCO page 15 pqmonthly.com

SAN FRANCISCO Continued from page 14

Theater Rhino helped me prepare. My look was working, but little else in my act moved the crowd. For some reason I chose a ballad, “Live to Tell,” by Madonna, and shot someone on stage. I thought it was humorously melodramatic, but it drew crickets, perhaps because I followed a performer who’d dressed like a nun and masturbated with a crucifix. At the after party, I remember drugs being everywhere, and all the beautiful women who’d performed looking like disappointingly ordinary men. Was that the night something in me turned, and I decided my pursuits and aspirations were somehow off the mark?

The closest I came to encountering anything like the life I live now during that period, was another trans support group I’d located in Berkeley. The session I attended consisted of a cisgender male counselor, a transwoman in her early 20s, and myself.

The other woman seemed severely disturbed, and related every question back to her father’s ongoing disapproval. I’m not sure what I was looking for there. My outlook at the time was fairly grandiose. I had no desire to think or talk about my past, not understanding that doing so might enable me to find a contentment in my present that was eluding me.

One night soon after, I sat in my room in poor spirits, trying to write. All I could think of, though, was how miserable I was, how I’d betrayed the Italian guy, and how nothing I’d thought would bring me pleasure was having that effect. Something, perhaps the nonstop cultural chatter about spirituality in the Bay Area, which that week had led to a cover story in the Bay Guardian about whether or not techno dancing was spiritual, prompted me to pray for the first time in my existence.

In the weeks that followed, my life became a little more orderly. The drug use stopped, as did the hookup sex with the trans group folks, and I decided against moving into their place. I started, at the same time, talking to people about spirituality, and reading about it, which I’d not previously done.

PRIDE IN OUR COMMUNITY Continued from page PB

one interacted me, was being influenced by my orientation. It felt a lot like being back in Texas.

I don’t know how accurate any of my experiences and perceptions were compared to what was actually been happening at the time. Maybe I have been influenced by knowing that, in some parts of this region, even something as simple as a Pride proclamation was met with resistance and border-line hostility. I don’t know. But I do know that many in my community, our community, live with that uncertainty every day. It isn’t just about whether you think there may be a safety risk, although that is a very real (and in my opinion, underestimated) concern. It’s about not knowing, day to day, when you may be denigrated, pqmonthly.com

Steve Strode, Realtor

®

In sorting things out, though, in this improvised, still unreflective way, gender was troublesome. To my mind, having been assigned male meant that, to be female, one had to live life as a Lou Reed character, an option I’d just eliminated for myself. Further, my internalized transphobia was starting to catch up with me, and, though no one seemed to be judging me for my gender expression, I’d begun doing it more and more. While I could mask my gender identity externally, however, eliminating it from my person was not possible, a realization that puzzled and troubled me. My new spiritual interests led me to look inward for the first time. Like a good Bay Area type, I read Jung, and studied astrology. I drifted away from my dancing friends, stopped going to the Tr-nnyshack, and eventually, stopped presenting as female altogether.

In the decade that followed came a time of strange, almost monkish abstinence and healing; I looked on those few “wild” months I’d spent as an inexplicable aberration, a time of confused self-debasement. This view flipped completely when my transition began, at which time it became a tragic “lost chance,” a sort of true flowering, stamped out by my ignorance and unresolved demons, as well as by a regrettable lack of social support. I don’t think either reading is correct today. Those days came just as my life stopped feeling like an unending adventure. Turning twenty eight, as I soon did, it was as though time became horizontal: my life’s path looked longer, roots and balance seemed worthy of acquisition.

Glitter and makeup weren’t items I know how to reconcile with maturity and diligence, sadly, and, as I saw it, the former had to go. I’ve rued the years I spent attempting to conform to my notion of cisgender, heterosexual masculinity following this time.

I probably needn’t have, though. If I hadn’t tried, I might never have found out who I really was.

Drag queens, sex workers, and drug users are all great, and I’m happy to share the pages of this magazine with them. I seem to belong in the bookish, nerdy corner of this community, though, it just took me a while to figure that out.

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ostracized, criticized, or judged. That is what makes Pride, even in this day of relative comfort for Portland, so important.

Pride is the umbrella that says, “You have a home here.”

Pride belongs to everyone in our community. Pride is every lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and anywhere on the spectrum-identified person in our community. No matter how diverse or different we are, or what we agree or disagree on, Pride is the glue that binds our community together. It is the place where we all get to come home to and be reminded that, not only are we not alone, but that we matter. There are folks out there who will try and own Pride for themselves, who will try and dictate to you what Pride should be, and how you should see and experience it. But that is the beautiful thing about Pride—it doesn’t belong to anyone; it belongs to everyone. Make your Pride what you want it to be.

May/June 2014 • 15

FEATURE

THE REALITY OF RELIGIOUS EXEMPTION LAWS

Bil Browning is a longtime gay activist and writer. He is the founder and publisher of The Bilerico Project.

By Bill Browning, Special to PQ Monthly

One of the most disturbing aspects of the current fervor for religious exemption laws is how quickly many supposedly progressive backers are either downplaying the laws as unimportant or even supporting passage. They dress themselves up with libertarian wrappings to hide that their excuses and justifications are nothing more than moral bankruptcy.

Douglas Laycock, a University of Virginia professor and a leading lawyer for the rightwing Becket Fund for Religious Liberty, was recently profiled on the Huffington Post, and he is a prime example of this type of illogical apologia. Supposedly a supporter of marriage equality and LGBT civil rights, he also spearheaded an open letter to Arizona Governor Jan Brewer on behalf of the Alliance Defending Freedom, arguing in favor of passage of the state’s embarrassing SB-1062 legislation intended to allow businesses the right to refuse service to LGBT people under the guise of “religious liberties.”

Laycock is not only promoting far-reaching and dangerous rationalizations for discriminating against LGBT

people, but also for the rights of women to control their own healthcare decisions. The Becket Fund is a high profile supporter of the current Hobby Lobby Supreme Court case arguing that the fabric and sewing supplies retailer should be able to cherry pick services included as part of company-provided health insurance. The owners of the company don’t want to provide coverage for any contraceptive devices and are claiming that their religious beliefs about sex trump the rights of the employee to have equal access to a baseline standard of care.

These libertarian ideas and their supporters are being touted by noted anti-gay leaders like Maggie Gallagher, former head of the National Organization for Marriage.

In an interview with the Huffington Post, she specifically acknowledges the letter to Governor Brewer—and calls out Laycock by name—as her reason for supporting SB-1062.

NOM has touted Laycock’s work in the past, praising him in 2009 for a letter he wrote to the Connecticut legislature urging them to pass same-sex marriage equality legislation, but encouraging them also to include a religious freedom clause as a political tactic to pacify the religious right. “[I]is it in the interest of the gay and lesbian community to create religious martyrs in the enforcement of this bill,” Laycock wrote. “To impose legal penalties or civil liabilities on a wedding planner who refuses to do a same-sex wedding, or on a religious counseling agency that refuses to provide marriage counseling to same-sex couples, will simply ensure that conservative religious opinion on this issue can repeatedly be aroused to fever pitch. Every such case will be in the news repeatedly, and every such story will further inflame the opponents of same-sex marriage.

Refusing exemptions to such religious dissenters will politically empower the most demagogic opponents of same-sex marriage. It will ensure that the issue remains alive, bitter, and deeply divisive.”

In a press release issued after the Connecticut legislature provided an exemption, Gallagher also hewed the line that by giving the religious right the ability to reject civil law, civil rights advocates and anti-gay zealots could come together in harmony.

“We are just grateful that the Connecticut legislators acknowledged and addressed the serious potential implications of same-sex marriage for traditional faith communities,” she wrote. “We hope this decision represents a change of heart among gay marriage advocates and a new willingness to accept broad conscience protections.”

Laycock isn’t alone, of course, in his misguided attempt to straddle the fence between civil rights and religious liberties. Around the nation, politicians and advocates are wrestling with the issue. But while these struggles are localized, they all have national implications.

In Indianapolis, two former city councilors wrote an

op-ed for the Indianapolis Star condemning the city for investigating a local bakery who refused to make cupcakes for an LGBT youth group. The two were the lead sponsors for the human rights ordinance that held that LGBT people couldn’t be discriminated against in public accommodations, but claimed that instances like that weren’t what they had in mind when they sponsored it.

“In our view, it would be wrong to force a business to support a political project with which its owners do not agree,” they wrote. “While a Jewish printer might be compelled by the law to offer her services to somebody who claims to be an Aryan, we do not expect that the ordinance would compel her to print banners promoting a march by the Aryan Nations.”

Ignoring the offensive comparison between white supremacists and LGBT people, the underlying premise is fundamentally flawed. The bakers were discriminating solely because the purchasers were gay and lesbian—a protected class under the city’s non-discrimination laws. Aryan Nation members are not a protected class and the hypothetical printer wouldn’t be discriminating against them based off their skin color or religious beliefs.

What both arguments have in common is that if their interpretations of religious liberty exemptions is allowed to spread unchecked, they will allow blatant discrimination to flourish. Using Laycock’s logic, if the Aryan Nation members claimed to be a church and that white supremacy was part of their organized religion (and several churches have historically used passages of the Bible to justify slavery and racial discrimination), their members should be able to legally discriminate against anyone. Not only would the church itself be able to discriminate, but their members could also have the right to refuse service to non-white customers, patients, or clients.

Should Baptist doctors have the right to refuse to treat gay patients? Can a member of a church organized around white supremacy refuse to back a wedding cake for an interracial couple? Should a consortium of evangelical churches running a charter school staffed by secular faculty have the ability to fire a science teacher for marrying her same-sex partner? According to this twisted use of religious freedom laws, all three scenarios should be allowable.

As the current Hobby Lobby law awaits a decision by the Supreme Court, it is crucial that LGBT advocates pay attention to both the major players and the outcome. Its fate is intertwined with the fight for LGBT civil rights; if corporations have religious rights and laypersons can claim any religious belief to justify their own prejudices or beliefs, the fight for full equality has become ten thousand times more difficult. After all, we can already see the same players lining up to provide cover for intolerance, prejudice, and discrimination.

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FEATURES

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May/June 2014 • 17

FEATURES

Always have supported LGBT rights, Always will.

GET OUT

TOWN CRIER: COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENTS Healing Art is a fine art gallery featuring west coast contemporary art; the gallery is housed in the historic Peterson building located at Hawthorne and Thirty-Fifth in a charming, 100 year-old apartment. Healing Art advocates the Emotional Art Movement in which visual arts contribute to physical and emotional health. The gallery serves as a conversational gathering for intellectuals, artists, community, and fine art enthusiasts. It opened May 10, with the launch exhibit “Portraits, an Exploration of Aesthetics,”

by Amanda Russell. “I have used the physicality of layered gouache and ink, as well as my own body, as the landscape to transform my journey into a tactile and visceral one for the viewer,” she says.

Healing Art is located at 3530 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Her work hangs through June 22.

Homomentum Album Release Party: Back in November, I caught the stage reading of this show and wrote these words: “In short, Homomentum is campy, smart, witty as Homomentum is everything! Don’t miss their album release party. hell, and, most of all, great. The songs are catchy, the cast is strong. The show of Caravan of Glam fame, this new nightmakes you feel, think, laugh, think some club will feature a variety of rotating events more, and laugh again. It felt like ‘Rent’ and and specials, including Drag Brunch (Blue ‘Moulin Rouge’ had a queer, gender-less Plate Brunch: June 8, 15, 16), a Dragathon baby. Even in that tiny theater during that reunion (June 5), a Portland Idol reunion produced, staged reading, I kept imagining (June 19), and much more. (Bisexual Circus, it on the big stage, produced to the hilt. Then Sleaze, Wig Wars.) Stay online with us at I imagined how this cast and crew would www.pqmonthly.com for more — included probably defy my expectations, just like they expanded reviews and previews. You can did tonight.” You missed it? Come listen to also find Royale on Facebook. the beautiful music! I promise you won’t Look Into My Eyes — the Eyes of Your regret it. Friday, May 30, 7pm, Alberta Rose Bully. Adult LGBTQ people look directly Theater. www.homomentum.com into the eyes of their teenaged bully, a photo P(art)y Favors: A community (fun) series by Abby Davis Harris. “As a teen of the draising event. Want to know how you can 80’s and a case manager for HIV/AIDS in the support art? Cultivate beautiful things in early 90’s, I saw the effects of a culture that your community? Look no further. Korin historically rejected and marginalized the Schneider as she aims to make her dream gay lifestyle. My clients had often experia reality — she’s looking to purchase Radius enced bullying at school and came home to Community Art Studios, but she needs your families that judged and shamed them for help. Silent auction, raffle, live art, deejays, being gay. The hate, fear, and lack of accepdancing — basically come mix, mingle, tance from that era live on as memories in admire gorgeous art, and pay what you can/ the now-adult gay and lesbian adults who bid on what you will. This evening marks the sat for this series of portraits. Every adult very last push that will help Schneider make I photographed immediately connected her purchase an official one. Think of it as a with my prompt, “Look into the eyes of your great way to showcase the love, talent, and bully”. Each one has a story. Some of their support only our incredibly unique com- memories surprised me as I expected the munity can provide. 6pm, Local Lounge, stories to be narratives of victimhood, but 3536 NE MLK. Bring your sweet cash. Look often the stories elevated my understandfor this event on Facebook. ing of the complexities involved in aggresRoyale officially opened its doors this sor, power, and self.” June 6, Angst Gallery, week, at 317 NW Broadway. A queer- 1015 Main. Vancouver. friendly venue helmed by Justin Buckles --Daniel Borgen

18 • May/June 2014

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TODAY: Know someone who’s Brilliant? Nominate them for the Brilliant List. A word from Brilliant List chairs, Robin Castro and John Halseth. “Community engagement, participation, visibility, giving of one’s time and resources, working to make our community a better place — one person at a time. The Brilliant List is about recognizing individuals, businesses, and nonprofit organizations statewide who are engaged in the social justice and diversity movements of our time. (See page 33.) Think about someone who may deserve community recognition by The Brilliant List. Someone who’s making a difference every day. Nominate them. We’re thrilled to be named co-chairs of this year’s Brilliant List Selection Committee. We, along with three other community- and diversity-minded individuals will review your nominations as they are submitted and select this year’s finalists. Finalists will appear in The Brilliant List Magazine and be recognized by the community at The Brilliant List Gala.” Deadline is Monday, June 2.

THURSDAY, MAY 15 - SUNDAY, MAY 18.

Put this atop your big gay agenda! QDoc has arrived, and it’s sure to be a treat. Documentary as a form of expression is as vital and energetic as it has ever been, and QDoc routinely brings the highest caliber of films — and their makers — to Portland. Take a moment and peruse http://www. queerdocfest.org/. All films Fri-Sun at Kennedy School Theater.

THURSDAY, MAY 15: “The Case Against 8,” a masterful legal drama that reveals the extraordinary legal strategies that altered the landscape of marriage equality around the country—championed by an unlikely partnership. Directors Ben Cotner and Ryan White in attendance. 7:30pm film, 10:00pm opening night party, Northwest Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.

Friday, May 16: “The Abominable Crime,” a story about a mother’s love for her child and an activist’s troubled love for his country — this film gives voice to gay Jamaicans who, in the face of endemic anti-gay violence, are forced to flee their homeland. International LGBTQ rights activist Maurice Tomlinson in attendance. 7pm.

“Derby Crazy Love” — watch this film and you will be feeling some love. The award-winning directing team of Maya Gallus and Justine Pimlott lead us deep into the badass world of women’s international flat track, where you better have names like Smack Daddy and Raw Heidi. That’s the only way you’ll survive the fast-moving, nonstop action — all while looking fabulous. Directors Maya Gallus and Justine Pimlott in attendance. 9pm, 21+.

SATURDAY, MAY 21: “Regarding Susan Sontag,” Susan Sontag is one of the few Americans who could legitimately be described as a “glamorous intellectual.” Strikingly attractive and imposingly charismatic, she was a prolific essayist, novelist, filmmaker, and activist. Director Nancy Kates in attendance. 1:30pm.

“The Rugby Player”: Mark Bingham was a typical all-American jock. Captain of his high school rugby team, then a star player with UC Berkeley’s championship-winning team, he was even president of the Chi Psi Fraternity. At 21, he shocked

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everyone by coming out. On Sept. 11, 2001, Bingham died on United Airlines Flight 93. This is his story. 4:30pm.

“Kate Bornstein is a Queer and Pleasant Danger”: In this nonlinear exploration, director Sam Feder (in attendance) offers an affectionate introduction to Bornstein’s life and thought, with scenes drawn from her daily life, interviews with friends, and public appearances. When faced with a serious health crisis, Bornstein’s grace and grounded wisdom illuminate this encounter with mortality. 6:45pm.

“The Dog”: Meet John “The Dog” Wojtowicz—a Vietnam vet, bank robber, bisexual polygamist, gay activist, and the real-life character behind Sidney Lumet’s 1975 film “Dog Day Afternoon.” 9pm,21+.

SUNDAY, MAY 18: “Kuma Hina.” At a time when gender nonconforming people are marginalized and mistreated the world over, this film presents an intimate portrait of a proud and confident mahu (transgender) teacher who is passing on ancient Hawaiian culture and traditions to her students as she searches for love and a fulfilling romantic relationship in her own life. Directors Dean Hamer and Joe Wilson in attendance. 12:30pm.

“The Circle”: Winner of the Berlin International Film Festival Teddy Award for best documentary highlighting LGBT themes, this film brings documentary and narrative cinema together to tell the history of the first gay rights organization in Europe and the lives behind it. At the heart of this story is the marvelous romance of two men who were not only the political center of The Circle but went on to become the first gay men married in Zurich. Yes, please. 2:45pm.

“My Prairie Home”: In the opening scene, trans singer-songwriter Rae Spoon performs amid local cowboys and farmers chowing down at a roadside diner in an unnamed prairie town. The seductively playful film reveals Spoon’s inspiring process of building a life as a transgender person and artist, featuring upbeat music and insightful musings in a journey across the Canadian heartland. 5pm.

“To Be Takei”: A fly-on-the-wall look at Takei and his husband, Brad, touring the country for sci-fi conventions and speaking engagements—including an appearance in Portland—while rehearsing the Broadway-bound musical Allegiance, inspired by his experience of growing up in Japanese-American internment camps during World War II. Director Jennifer M. Kroot in attendance. 7pm.

FRIDAY, JUNE 13 - THURSDAY, JUNE 19 (7PM SHOWTIMES): “Before You Know It” at the Clinton Street Theater.

These are no ordinary senior citizens. They are go-go booted bar-hoppers, love-struck activists, troublemaking baton twirlers, late night Internet cruisers, seasoned renegades, and bold adventurers. They are also among the estimated 2.4 million lesbian, gay, and bisexual Americans over the age of 55 living in the United States, many of whom face heightened levels of discrimination, neglect, and exclusion. But this film isn’t about cold statistics or gloomy realities, it’s a film about generational trailblazers who have surmounted prejudice and defied expectation to form communities of strength, renewal, and camaraderie. An affirmation of life and human resilience told with a refreshing humor and candor—it’s a film that reminds you you’re never too old to reshape society.

SATURDAY, MAY 17: Gaycation all you ever wanted. These lineups are always stellar, and this month is no exception. Rhienna and Bruce LaBruiser join beloved residents Mr. Charming and Snowtiger. Do you realize Gaycation has been around for nine years?! And Charming barely looks a day over 21. Must be the music. This long-running queer debacle dance party is one of the city’s most beloved monthly mixers. Get sweaty, be kind to a stranger (kiss them!), then have brunch with your friends Sunday to dish all about it.

Consider this an excellent Pride pre-funk. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5.

PERS{ECTOVES FEATURE Want more? We’ll give you everything. Head over to pqmonthly.com and check out our online calendar of events, submit your own events, and peruse photos from your reporters-about-town. Also, remember to carefully examine our weekly weekend forecast — with the latest and greatest events — each Wednesday (sometimes Thursday), online only.

--DANIEL BORGEN

DANCE IT OUT

FIRST SUNDAYS Bridge Club. A slew of stellar deejays play music on the city’s most treasured patio. Old Boys Club regularly welcomes special guests. Snack, mingle, get down. Bridge club is delighted to announce its permanent new home— Vendetta! 3pm, Vendetta, 4306 N Williams. Free EVERY SUNDAY. Superstar Divas. Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Topaz Crawford, Isaiah Tillman, and guest stars perform your favorite pop, Broadway, and country hits.

Dance floor opens after the show. The Drag Queen Hunger Games are over, and the shows must go on!

Check out the newest and freshest Diva hits. 8pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free!

FIRST THURSDAYS Dirt Bag. Keyword: Bruce LaBruiser. She’ll make all your musical dreams come true. Indie, pop, electro, all of it. Dance to the gayest jams. 10pm, The Know, 2026 NE Alberta. Free.

Hip Hop Heaven. Bolivia Carmichaels hosts this hiphop-heavy soiree night every Thursday night at CCs. Midnight guest performers and shows. 9pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free.

FIRST SATURDAYS Sugar Town. DJ Action Slacks. Keywords: Soul, polyester. 9pm, The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42. $5.

Maricón! Ill Camino rotates special guests and reinvents Crush with his beloved once-monthly dance party.

(Moisti will still make cameos.) For homos and their homeys. 10pm, Crush,1400 SE Morrison. $3.

Second Thursdays I’ve Got a Hole in My Soul. Three keywords, the most important being: DJ Beyondadoubt. Others: soul, shimmy. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5.

SECOND TUESDAYS Bi Bar—every second Tuesday at Crush, and it’s an open, bi-affirming space for music and mingling. Correction: Bi/Pan/Fluid/Queer. 8pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

SECOND FRIDAYS Slo Jams is a Queer Modern R&B & Neo Soul Dance Night at Local Lounge. DJ II TRILL (TWERK) and DJ MEXXX-TAPE lay down everything from Mary J // Jagged Edge// Keyshia to Badu//Lauryn Etc. 10pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.

SECOND SATURDAYS Hot Flash: Inferno. (Second and Fourth Saturdays) In the heart of Portland is where the women are—dancing the night away and burning up dance floors the second and fourth Saturdays of every month at Trio. Welcoming all women, queers, and their allies.

6pm-10pm, Trio, 909 E. Burnside.

Mrs.: The queen of theme welcomes its new hostess, Kaj-Anne Pepper! And dynamic DJ duo: Beyondadoubt

MONDAY, MAY 19: The days are getting longer, brighter, and warmer, and it’s an excellent time to get your active socializing on. Seriously, Gay Skate is a joy. Meet queers and mingle with them outside the bar setting — maybe your dream lover will ask you to hold hands during couples’ skate. And there are themes now! Themes! This month, get your home perm kit ready, because PQ is bringing back the 80s. Come dressed in your most glorious throwback look and compete to win prizes. And, you know, you’ll probably get a date. Food drive for Take Action Inc. 7pm, Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way. $6.

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and Ill Camino. Costumes, photo booths, all the hits.

10pm, Mississippi Studios, 3939 N. Mississippi. $5.

SECOND SUNDAYS Beat It at Black Book: Samuel Thomas has a beautiful new night all for you at one of the city’s most exciting new(ish) venues. A monthly event celebrating everything from beards and tattoos to butch queens. Mark your calendars: second Sundays. Hosted by JC Powers, killer deejays. 7pm, Black Book, 20 NW Third. $3 (free if you have a mailed invite) THIRD WEDNESDAYS Comedy at Crush: Belinda Carroll and a slew of locals rustle up some funny. Special guests, and Crush’s signature cocktail and food menus. Donations, sliding scale.

(Comics have to eat and drink, too!) Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

THIRD THURSDAYS Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-the-day language, music, and elegance. An ease-you-into-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys make the music. Bridge and tunnel patrons have no idea what to do with us when we pour in. Hint: it’s always the Thursday we go to press.

10pm, Vault, 226 NW 12. Free.

THIRD FRIDAYS Ruthless! Eastside deluxe. DJs Ill Camino, Rhienna.

Come welcome new resident deejay Rhienna and listen to the fiercest jams all night long. Keyword: cha cha heels. 10pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $3.

THIRD SATURDAYS Burlescape! Burlesque & boylesque wrapped in a taste of tease! Zora Phoenix, Isaiah Esquire, Tod Alan.

(And there’s more than that, kids.) Zora is a treat and a treasure—and so are her shows. Try one out! 9pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. $10.

Gaycation: DJ Charming always welcomes special guests. Be early so you can actually get a drink. Sweaty deliciousness, hottest babes. THE party. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5.

FOURTH FRIDAYS Twerk. DJs ILL Camino and II Trill. Keywords: bring your twerk. The city’s longest-running queer hip hop/R&B party--where artists, deejays, performers come to mix, mingle, and move on the dance floor. Established fun, all night long. 9pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.

FOURTH SATURDAYS Blow Pony. Two giant floors. Wide variety of music, plenty of room for dancing. Rowdy, crowdy, sweaty betty.

9pm, Rotture/Branx, 315 SE 3. $5.

LAST THURSDAYS Laid Out, Bridgetown’s newest gay dance party. Seriously, the posters read: “gay dance party.” I. Love. This.

Party. Thursdays are a real thing again. Deejays Gossip Cat and Pocket Rock-It, with photos by Eric Sellers.

9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $3 after 10pm.

FRIDAY, MAY 30: Chicken Strip! This party is bringing you the outer limits of space drag. The Strip is a drag show and dance party and for this edition, they’ll be blasting off. Wizards, aliens, black holes, Vegas in Space, portal opening, sci-fi. Space travelers are asked to report to the Funhouse Lounge—to be transported to another dimension. A great many guest stars and deejays, including Sappho and Hold My Hand. We fully expect Dillon Martin and Melody Awesomazing to bring it like it’s never been brought before. Count on it. 9:30pm, Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE Eleventh. $5.

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FEATURE NIGHTLIFE

FEATURE

“WHAT IT MEA

Tori Amos On Aging, Pol

By Nick Mattos, PQ Monthly

There’s no one in the world quite like Tori Amos.

Over the last three decades, the celebrated musician has left an indelible mark upon the modern music world, influencing countless artists with her unique style and garnering a massive and rabidly dedicated fan base. To celebrate the release of her fourteenth studio album Unrepentant Geraldines — and her upcoming show at the Oregon Zoo — Amos talked with PQ Monthly’s Nick Mattos about her creative process, the internal impact of growing older, and Amos’ own identification with the queer community.

years, and they were busy doing variat of the classical masters [for Night of H as if they were getting time off! However something was freed up because I wasn quote-unquote “contemporary pop rec were coming purely for me to unders

PQ Monthly: How did Unrepentant Geraldines come to you?

Tori Amos: I didn’t realize it was coming to me. I wasn’t under contract, you see — I was under other contracts, doing the two Deutsche Gramaphon records [Night of Hunters and Gold Dust] and The Light Princess with the BritBoth photos courtesy Tori Amos. Photos by Amarpaul Kalirai. Mercury Classics. ish National Theatre.

They were very involved projects with armies of people, going on in my life and in my brain witho so lots of collaboration and lots of inspiration. Little did they were part of a project. It was a priva I realize that these songs were coming; I would keep that the muses and I were having witho them to myself because I wasn’t doing this project, they think about a project of contemporary m were just songs that were coming into my life over the to just carry them, carry them secretly, them, take time to get to know them. last few years.

PQ: There’s this wonderful Northwes PQ: That’s interesting, because these girls sound really urgent. It makes sense that they would force their David Whyte, and in one of his essays h is a way of staying alive. Hiding is a way way in while you were working on something else.

TA: I’m glad you feel that! I feel like they’re urgent selves until we are ready to come into t TA: Yes! too. They took over, and said “we’re coming, and you PQ: There’s this fundamental, natu need to look at these things in your life, Tori.” I kept them as a private conversation to see hat I was think- to the act of hiding, that all things in n ing and feeling about things. I collected them, and then tation period of some sort for that exa played them for [my husband and producer], and then this album, it seems like you’re showin he said “you need to put these down. These need to be ent part of yourself than you’ve shown recent work, even going back to Scarle the record you make next.”

PQ: One thing I’ve always respected a lot about you Beekeeper; with those projects, it seeme is your absolute dedication to your muse, and that you exploring an outer realm, whereas this really do go through a lot in the service of your girls. the exploration of an inner realm.

TA: That’s something I think you How did you find that these girls on Unrepentant Geris looking you in the eyes and you ha aldines came to you differently?

TA: You know, they’d been workin’ overtime, those head around it. Being fifty now, I ca muses. They were busy figuring out narrative and plot it’s great being fifty, but I had to re for The Light Princess, collaborating with my [creative means for myself and not take on a partners] making thirty-three songs over the last five jection of what it means. I had to bec 20 • May/June 2014

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CALENDAR FEATURE

ANS TO BE UNREPENTANT:”

litics, and the Triumph of the Queer Community

tions on themes Hunters]. It’s not r, I do think that n’t working on a cord.” The songs stand what was

out the idea that ate conversation out me having to music. I was able y, and work with

st writer named he says “Hiding y of holding ourthe light.”

ural importance nature have gesact reason. With ng a very differon a lot of your et’s Walk or The ed like you were s one seems like

u do when fifty ave to get your an tell you that edefine what it a cultural procome comfort-

able with the idea that I’ve lived over half my life already, that I’m past midlife. I’ve also seen people around me that I’ve known leave the planet for different reasons, not knowing that they were ill, just thinking that everything was fine until suddenly they aren’t here anymore. Then again, I talk to my mom and dad who are 85 a nd t hey say, “Oh my God, if I was still fifty, t here’d be more stopping us!” You start snapping out of it and realize “no, it’s time to be vital.

Each day is a n opportunity to create.” There are different things to learn at different times in your life.

PQ: While your work has always been political to a certain degree, over the last few albums your work ahs become a lot more overtly political — with this album in particular, you tackle things like the NSA head-on. How’d you respond when the girls became so political?

TA: I said “Really?” and they said “Yeah, uh huh, really.” “But don’t you think you’re too young for this?” “Ha!” They kid me!

They josh me! But still, at a certain point you have to stand up. That’s what it means to be unrepentant. That doesn’t mean that you don’t grow and learn every day; that doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t say something to you and the penny drops and you realize that you see things differently than you did a month ago because of all of the discussion and that you un derstand something you never understood before. Being unrepentant doesn’t mean that you dig your heels in and refuse to budge from a thought. It does mean, though, that you stand by your beliefs as you know and see them. There are times that it’s complete harmony with what’s happening in the world to speak out, to bring up questions and get people talking. That’s the idea, is to get people thinking and talking for themselves, and inspiring other people to think and talk. It’s like the solar system: those thoughts orbit back around and tap me on the shoulder from behind and say “okay, now we have this question for you.” Then, it starts all over again.

PQ: It kind of parallels what happens in the LGBTQ — or as we at PQ call it, queer — community. We got to live in this exciting space in which we got to redefine things and serve as a vanguard of how life, love, and self-identity works; now we’re at the point where, after the 50 or so years of the gay rights movement, we’re getting to see a lot of these things reverberate back to us.

It’s so beautiful to get to observe.

TA: It is! And along with that beauty comes a respon-

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sibility, and the ability to respond. That’s exciting to me.

PQ: You’ve been so important to so many of your LGBTQ fans for so long, and have such a great relationship with the community in general. How have you seen that change in recent times?

TA: They’re all ages now. You see young ones, and older ones. More stories get brought to me. I learn things everyday — someone brings me a letter or tells me their perspective. I’m sensing a beautiful spirituality growing within, as you call it, the wonderful queer community. It’s becoming much more grounded, no longer so ephemeral. There’s an integration of spirituality with sexuality, holding a place of sacredness that is so beautiful to see. You no longer have to play into the straight community’s projection of what it means to be gay.

People can find their own unique expression of themselves and live it out.

PQ: Absolutely. In Jungian terms, it’s as though we moved from an archetypical identity of eternal youth, through a heroic journey of the queer rights movement and the terrible ordeal of the HIV/AIDS crisis, and now we’re getting to emerge in many ways as mature individuals and a mature community.

It’s a beautiful thing.

TA: Oh my god, exactly!

Emerging with a spiritual contribution, too, not just holding humanity’s sexual shadow.

You get to say “No! You have to hold you own shadow, world. Each of us has to hold our own.” That’s when the world starts to realize that we can only be responsible for our own selves — as you say, a mature individual. It is a beautiful time to be alive and to participate in it. I mean, I’m a wife and a mother, and I feel very much a part of the queer community. I’m in absolute solidary with that movement of unconditional love, and I’m completely inspired by it. I feel like I’m part of the queer gang!

PQ: We were talking about repentance earlier — do you feel like there’s anything of your life that you’re repenting of right now?

TA: Yes, absolutely — but you can’t go back. What you do in your twenties is what you do in your twenties. Would I do things differently now if I knew the consequences of certain things I did and said? Certainly.

This is part of how I’m accepting being fifty; at this age, there are many things that I would never say, or do, or have the

sort of reaction I would have had in my twenties or early thirties. I realize now that, back then, I just didn’t know myself. You need to know yourself, and who you are.

Sometimes what people want you to be is very different than who you are. You may realize “you know what, I’m not the life of the party! I can play that character, but I’m actually more introverted. I don’t need to play that role unless I want to.” It’s great to be able to see that I played a certain role because it was my role within the friendship, or the gang, or a family, but really this is who I am. That’s what’s so great about getting older: embracing who you truly are without the impulse to apologize for it. That’s what it means to be unrepentant.

Unrepentant Geraldines is available now from Mercury Classics. Tori Amos will play in Portland as part of the Oregon Zoo’s Summer Concert Series on July 18.

For tickets and more information, visit ToriAmos.com.

May/June 2014 • 21

FASHION NIGHTLIFE

STYLE DECONSTRUCTED: CHRISTOPHER, DAVID Eat, Drink, Scene: What do you nosh? What’s your sip?

Where are your haunts?

DB: Lately, I have been loving Multnomah Whiskey Library. It is a sexy dark bar that makes me feel so dapper and civilized. Can’t go wrong with a good rye whiskey Manhattan made on a cart next to your overstuffed chesterfield!

Fish Sauce is also great for Vietnamese, great ambiance and the Pho is fantastic. They have a long live edge wood communal table, and chandeliers made of mason jars and wood pallets. And even though it is a total plug, I love getting breakfast at Christopher David on the weekends. An almond milk salted caramel latte and sausage breakfast sandwich always does me right.

CG: I’m a dinner party kind of guy. We designed our loft’s dining table to seat 12, and have pushed it to 14. There’s nothing better than good people, good food and good conversation with no bill to split at the end. Recently we did Angus sliders with sprouts and Brie; a staple is our goat cheese quesadillas with pollo asado.

Shoes! Oh my God, shoes! What do you have? What do you need?

By Michael Talley and Eric Sellers, PQ Monthly

In a city teeming with fashion, personal expression, and trend setters, I want to get into the heads of some of Portland’s stylish LGBTQ icons. To me style is not made in magazines, malls or on television; it’s personal. This is the reason for this style deconstruction.

Christopher Giovarelli, 31, owner, Christopher David Experience Design and David Brady, 29, Art Director, Nike Inc. When did you realize style mattered? Explain — idols, musicians, peers.

David Brady: It wasn’t until I came out at 16 that I really started noticing style – all of a sudden I was part of this world where it mattered, where it was accepted. Sadly, my first style inspiration was the boy bands of the late 90s – I wanted to look like Justin Timberlake. Spiked blonde hair, distressed jeans, cowboy boots, the whole nine. These days, my idols are a bit more classic – James Dean, Marlon Brando, and Paul Newman. “Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse.”

Christopher Giovarelli: When I was five I tried on my mother’s high-heeled, leather boots. I thought I was pretty hot shit and pretended I was Wonder Woman. What can I say? Lynda Carter was fierce. I actually still have a pair of blue underwear with stars on them that I wear from timeto-time, but these days without the heels. Then came the awkward years (think Skechers and Henleys, before Henleys were cool). I’d say those years lasted until Henleys actually were cool, by which time I was sick of them. Avant garde you say? Why thank you. Nowadays I just wear what I like, which sometimes just means gym shorts and a sweatshirt.

Most of the time it means that.

Who gives you a style boner now?

DB: Tom Ford is incredible. I love that he is not only a fashion designer, but Art Directs films as well. “A Single Man” was stunning visually – I would love to work on a project like that someday. Ryan Gosling has great style as well; it comes off effortless yet sexy at the same time. And Footballers like David Beckham and Christiano Ronaldo.

22 • May/June 2014

I get most of my hair inspiration from them.

CG: Blaine from Glee. Kidding… Actually not kidding at all. I mean bow ties with a polo shirt!? Good God how fantastic.

What is your most valued article of clothing?

DB: When I got the call from Nike offering me a job (which would move me back home to Portland from NYC), I decided to commemorate by spending some cash (it was a pretty big salary jump). I was in Vegas at the time, and loved Dolce & Gabbana – so I picked up this amazing leather jacket for about $3,000. It looks like something Wolverine would wear if he was an Italian Glam Rocker. I think I have worn it twice.

CG: Mine’s actually a hand-me-down. It’s my father’s high school letterman sweater — South Plainfield High School. It’s beige with grass green accents, which is a hell of a color combination to match with anything. I try not to wear it too often (again, beige and green), but I just think it’s really cool.

4. Do you wear jewels? What accessories are a musthave in your closet?

DB: I don’t wear much in terms of jewelry – I had fake diamond studs when I was younger, but these days my engagement ring is the one thing I wear. It is a signet ring I designed with my older brother, then we prototyped it as a 3D print before having it cast in gold. Once Chris and I get married this August, we will engrave the tops with a monogram of our initials interlocked.

CG: I’m loving gentlemen’s neckpieces these days. I was first inspired to wear them by the fashion design work of my friend Joshua Christensen, and now I’m hooked. They are an awesome alternative to a bowtie.

My only regular accessory is my signet ring. David and I had them designed as engagement rings, and we’ll get our monogram engraved on them when we get married this summer. I first had it made in bronze because I loved the color, but then it turned my finger green (dammit). Now it’s gold. Remember when gold was gross and everything was silver? Funny how pendulums swing.

DB: I have way too many Cole Haan shoes. Love a good pair of boots – they had a pair that I fell in love with last winter, and I bought them in three colors of leather (brown with brown laces, black with red laces, and gray suede with black laces). I also love oxfords (I have this great stone gray leather pair with emerald laces), and my green leather deck shoes with plaid interior. And of course I love my Nike Flyknits – they look great with anything, are lightweight, and comfortable. Doesn’t hurt that they are better for the environment too.

CG: Without really realizing it, I’ve apparently assembled an arsenal of brogues. What can I say? I love them. I get most comments on my brown mid-rise boot version, but a personal favorite is a pair of grey Cole Haans with white laces and sole to match. The other day I was out furniture sourcing for a client and the older salesman commented on my shoes and about all the pairs of wingtips he had when he was younger. He said he sure hoped they’d come back in style so he could wear them again. I tried not to look too offended.

Forever young! I wanna be forever young! What do you slather and slop on to pamper yourself?

DB: I am such a stickler for taking care of my skin. I wash my face morning, post workout, and night – and I always moisturize afterwards. I go with Cetaphil – it is super simple, no fragrance, and doesn’t clog your pores. For my body, I always use a moisturizing wash. Currently using Aveeno with oatmeal.

CG: I’m au natural. I don’t think I actually knew what moisturizer was used for until I met David (see body wash comment above), he’s really helped me come a long way.

You have a time machine. Go back in time and anything from any era. What would you get, where and when?

DB: That is tough – I would probably go back to the 1940s when Belstaff first started, get one of their amazing leather jackets. Or to 1963 to get the one McQueen wore in The Great Escape!

CG: I think I’d head back to the summer of 1898 in Newport, Rhode Island. The Guilded Age was in full bloom, and so were the society parties. As much as I loathe formality and pretension, I think it would be a blast. I’d probably pretend I was the heir to some copper fortune out West as I smooth talked the ladies (and the men). Although now that I think about it, there was entirely too much clothing back then…

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PERSPECTIVES

ARTS & CULTURE

Almost Gone

By Nick Mattos, PQ Monthly

I am oddly comfortable when the drama is cranked up to eleven. A shouting, enraged social falling-out, punctuated with sobs and a slammed door, has just enough of a telenovela atmosphere about it to remind me of my Latino youth. Even the sort of silent treatment that some gay men give one another in times of conflict — that strange form of quiet that is itself melodrama, the muscle of their clenched jaw bulging along the side of their face and their eyes conspicuously turned away from your direction to draw attention to their silence — doesn’t really bother me all that much. Go for it: scream at me, hang up the phone, sashay past me silently and discreetly look back to see if I noticed you. I have and shall yet survive far worse.

The one that actually hurts me, though, is when there is no drama and no real falling-out, when the door has no reason to be slammed. I have only seen this in the context of friendships as they wane. I see an old friend out and about, we make small talk, and somewhere in the midst of the conversation it is clear that small talk is all that we can make because all that our once-glorious friendship can produce now is small talk.

There has been a cooling, and the friendship is almost gone. It is at that moment that my heart tends to break.

Americans in general are a mourning-averse people, so much so that the recently-released DSM-V now considers mourning to be synonymous with an episode of clinical depression rather than its own unique expression. However, our culture is particularly silent when it comes to mourning the loss of friendships. Perhaps our culture we do not acknowledge lost friendships as something worth mourning in the way we acknowledge lost romantic relationships or family ties because collectively we do not consider friendships to be “special.”

Hear me out: in a romance-and-family obsessed culture such as ours, relationships with one’s romantic partners and family members are aggressively elevated to a space of primacy over all other relationships. These are viewed as unique, precious constellations in our lives, worth restructuring and even sacrificing our lives for.

Friendships, on the other hand, are relegated to a secondary or even tertiary level of importance, looked at as being a far less “special” a connection. Anyone who has ever made the statement “my friends are

my family” has provided evidence of this; on one level, it’s a coded statement that the state of friendship just isn’t “special” enough to explain their feelings about the people close to them. Collectively speaking, this sensibility has profoundly damaged our culture; read Robert Putnam’s Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community for a brilliantly lucid look at this effect. Personally, it means that, when friendships end, we have little social support for mourning their loss — after all, why grieve for something that wasn’t all that “special” in the first place?

Of course, all of this is my own effort to contend with the grief of friendships cooling. “In times of trouble,” Joan Didion explains in The Year of Magical Thinking, “I had been trained since childhood, read, learn, work it up, go to the literature. Information was control.” I am the same way: contextualizing my own pain in the context of social analysis is yet another way I try not to take this cooling personally, to rend some modicum of control over my own heart.

However, both Didion and I ultimately find the same cold comfort in this: “Given that grief remained the most general of afflictions,” she notes of her research, “the literature seemed remarkably spare.”

I do it too, certainly. I become overconfident in the solidity and permanence of a friendship and neglect to provide any sort of care or support for the relationship. I enter into a romance and utterly neglect to return my friend’s calls and texts. I ignore the friendship until there is a cooling, until it is almost gone, until we see one another out and about and all we can produce is small talk. “If only relationships came complete with intermittent red lights, like on smoke detectors,” writes poet Billeh Nickerson, “so we could see when the love runs out.” Perhaps friendships need these, too.

What would it look like if our culture mourned friendships that were almost gone? The literature is remarkably spare.

Maybe all it would do would be to provide a means to crank the drama up, to open up forums for anger and slammed doors and silent treatments. Maybe it would merit its own DSM-V entry. Perhaps, though, it could mean that we could be honest that the cooling has its own sort of pain, that friendship is a brilliant and special way of coming together. Perhaps being almost gone is itself a special state, one that deserves a name for us to call it by.

Nick Mattos (@nickmattos2) is a writer living in SE Portland. He promises that this column is not about you, but if you miss him he’s likely down to go have a beer and catch up sometime. He can be reached at nick@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

May/June 2014 • 23

ARTS & CULTURE

PERSPECTIVES

THE LADY CHRONICLES I Always Leave My Heart in San Francisco

By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly

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SF: Before Ryan and I landed in San Francisco that sunny April morning, it had been nearly two years since my last visit to Gay Jerusalem, an unacceptably long stretch that had me feeling a bit out of sorts. Since my years at Bible College in a nearby town twenty years ago (and especially since close friends started heading south en masse), I’ve made an effort to go once, sometimes twice a year. Something about that city soothes my soul — it’s easy, it’s comfortable; it always feels like home. And let’s face it, it’s always a thrill to fire up your electronic date-makers in a new town. Lately, my mind has been on all things romance. I haven’t told any of my closest friends, but I’m still thinking about The Boy Who Dumped Me via Text a few months ago, and every romantic stumble since.

PDX: Not long before we left, an old flame reached out to me, hoping to reconnect. “I assure you my intentions are platonic,” Jake said. “I’m not trying to rekindle anything.” Message received. Since I’m typically much better at burning bridges with exes than building them, I decided to champion a new approach. Sure, I’d hear him out. Besides, though I can rarely remain friends with people I’ve been naked with, I always hold a candle in my fragile little heart for each man. Sometimes it’s a fire, sometimes it’s an inferno. How can you not remain fond of someone who’s seen the most intimate, private parts of you? So I met Jake for drinks at Vault. (When you’re closer to 40 than 30, you begin to look at relationships a bit differently. Throw everything but the kitchen sink at them, eventually something will stick.)

SF: After our requisite stop at In-N-Out Burger — I regularly put that meat in my mouth as soon as I cross Californian borders — we checked into our hotel, the Sir Francis Drake, one of the more elegant places I’ve ever stayed. The Drake is ornate and elaborate and they host a beautiful wine-themed happy hour every single evening. After wine and snacks and some light shopping, it was time to head out to the hot clubs, to survey the nightlife. My friend Gino and I insisted we take Ryan to Harvey’s in the Castro, mostly because Ryan had asked, “What’s a Harvey Milk?” a few times, and it was time for his education. History is not his forte. Besides, who doesn’t love a platter of fried things before a big night out?

PDX: We were a couple of drinks in and just beyond small talk when Jake and I got to the heart of the matter. Confessions and declarations are much easier when lubricated. We talked about what ailed him —

Portland, specifically, and the occasional tininess that can, at times, feel suffocating — and I assured him this town gives back exactly what you put into it. If you let it be small, it is small. The dull roar of the bridge and tunnel patrons and the dim lighting gave us cover; we poured out our hearts loudly, raising our voices for emphatic delivery. That night, I was thrilled to have a new set of ears to listen to my sad tales about The Boy Who Dumped Me via Text. How often do you get to pick an ex’s brain? Not often, and we made the most of it.

SF: After The Education of Ryan Sager and a variety of selfies, we headed out on the town. I often forget how cruisy San Francisco is — especially compared to home — and I committed to soaking it up.

My name is Daniel and I’m open for businesses. The blinking lights on my dating apps made me feel pretty and special; days and days go by between messages in Portland. Our first stop was Lone Star (heaven); then we took in drag and debauchery at the Stud. There’s nothing quite like queer culture in San Francisco — and it’s even better with tour guides (hi, Brad and Gino).

Fresh, wildly diverse, thoroughly satisfying. Sometimes you need a busy metropolis and blurry nightlife; it’s refreshing. Our evening went by in a flash, a montage of tank tops, sweaty dance moves, wigs to the sky, friendly gropes, and camera flashes.

The next morning meant drag brunch atop the Drake, something I desperately wanted to bring home with me. Drag queens and omelets and mimosas, oh my.

PDX: Jake and I had a few more platonic dates before he moved to Seattle. Just like that, my new sounding board vanished.

Before he left, I sat down with him at Cheese and Crack in SE to pepper him with questions. In painstaking detail — and at his behest — I traced the trajectory of my most recent failed romance, and the futility I felt fumbling through a botched whirlwind one in Waikiki. “What is it that scares them?” I asked. “My intensity? My late night burrito parties? My unhealthy obsession with drag culture?” “Take this for what it’s worth,” he replied. “But I don’t think you’re putting yourself out there; you sort of take what comes your way instead of taking what you want.” There is probably a kernel of truth to what he said, I realized. But I’m not ready to hear it. When you’re already battling a genuine inability to date casually, perhaps being more forthright isn’t the answer.

When Jake went north, I couldn’t help but be wildly jealous, and wonder if that, someday, will be the cure for what ails me.

But for now, I’ll settle for late night tarot card readings with lesbian witches — and a dash of summertime. Daniel@PQMonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

FASHION

TURN A LOOK: QUEERING FASHION WEEK PRIDE WEEKEND

By Sally Mulligan, PQ Monthly

Oh, Pride. What a circus! One that my friends and chosen family wait anxiously for all year.

There’s so much to see and do, so much dancing and smooching and priding to be had. And what to wear? So many looks to be turned, and in so little time! It is never too early to start meditating on the looks you will need to turn, queers. So what vibe do you wish to manifest this year? It’s a scientific fact that fashion belongs to the queer kids, so whichever look (or twelve) you decide on is sure to be fierce and fiercely worshipped. Remember, if we’re not all gagging, it’s not enough. Here are a few styles I am hoping, wishing, and praying to see in the club during fashion week pride weekend. Won’t you make my dreams come true?

QUEER & LOATHING Vegas ain’t got nothing on you, homos. This isn’t your little sister’s normcore movement, this is Uncle Butch Takes a Road Trip, and the emphasis is on “trip.” Hit the Bins and scoop up all the tourist dad button ups, The Head Queers in Charge of this look are Hunter S. Thompson and Benicio Del Toro as Raoul Duke and Dr. Gonzo in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Pack your bags, it’s gonna be a bumpy (p)ride. Be sure to stuff your suitcase full of Hawaiian print everything, denim cutoffs, visors, aviators, and socks to wear with your sandals. Buy the ticket, take the ride.

Motivational Jams: “White Rabbit,” Jefferson Airplane; “Stuck in the Middle With You,” Steelers Wheel; “Ball and Chain,” Big Brother and the Holding Company; “Yummy Yummy Yummy,” Ohio Express.

LAST NIGHT A DJ SAVED MY LIFE My Big Gay Pride Feelings are often sandwiched between deep booty beats and sweaty dance floors, and I love seeing that reflected in fashions at the club. The Head Queer in Charge of this look is none other than the Freshest of Princes himself, Will Smith circa the early 90s. Fix your fade and air out your parachute pants, darlin, it’s time to turn it up for Pride. Key components of this look are: the brightest of neons, the loudest of prints, retro sneakers, cropped jackets, bustiers, and clashing prints. Ya know, something comfy to showcase your sweet moves on the dance floor. If you’re looking to modernize this decidedly 90s look, try adding some darker touches such as your ex’s leather jacket, messy eyeliner, or some very lofty heels.

Motivational Jams: “Party and Bullshit,” Notorious B.I.G.; “BOOTAY,” Bangers & Cash; “Boom Boom,” Rye Rye; “Goody Goodies,” Cakes Da Killa.

STYLE DECONSTRUCTED Continued from page 22

Favorite artists, designers, and musicians—and give us whys.

DB: My favorite artist has always been Andy Warhol – I loved his process, screen printing has always been inspiring to me as a graphic designer. He was really pushing the commentary on pop culture, and doing it in a beautiful, textured way. Designer would be Tom Ford.

Incredible, handsome clothes and some damn sexy ad pqmonthly.com

FRENCH BOUDOIR NOIR Underwear? Under where, queen? If you’re looking to showcase your sweet bod this summer, look no further than dark and sultry looks of Paris’ red light district back in the day. You know you need some new lingerie anyway, babes, so why not whip it out for pride weekend? Think back to the vintage Guy Bourdain photos while you manifest. The details of this look include: messy hair, strong makeup, underwear as outerwear, sequins, smudged lipstick, fur in the club, fishnets, and maybe some pasties. Go for drama and opulence, you can’t go wrong. Your Head Queer in Charge is Josephine Baker (I mean, duh) so don your finest silks, some well-placed pearls, and a smize. Does anyone know where I can buy an extra long cigarette holder?

Motivational Jams: “I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl,” Nina Simone; “Summertime,” Ella Fitzgerald; “Bubblegum,” Brigitte Bardot; “Good Woman,” Cat Power.

WET HOT AMERICAN SLUMMER Ah, to have experienced the homoertic undertones of sleepaway camp! Sneaking cigarettes in the woods and casually “practicing kissing” with my bunkmates. I have all of the FOMO about it, so I decided it’s high time I start at least dressing the part. But what does one wear to a panty raid? Your Head Queers in Charge for this look are the oh-so-homo campers from the Sleepaway Camp trilogy, and you can find inspiration in their feathered hair, velour rompers, knee socks, bell bottoms, crop tops and short shorts so tight you can see god. Add a touch of sleazy 70s decadence inspired by Boogie Nights with mile high platform shoes, halter tops, and gold lamé. Bonus points for wearing rollerskates, Bonne Bell Lip Smackers, and keeping a comb in your back pocket. Nothing wrong with being a high maintenance queen, queen.

Motivational Jams: “Tush,” ZZ Top; “No More Mr. Nice Guy,” Alice Cooper; “Low Rider,” War; “Dancing Queen,” ABBA. And lest we forget, here are some trends we can leave behind: body shaming (yourself or others,) not taking up space, feeling like you can’t be yourself, publishing unflattering pictures of your friends, and headdresses. Let’s try something new! We have always been ahead of the curve, darlings. Basically, I am so excited I can barely keep it together. I can’t wait to see you all in all your fabulousness and celebrate this thriving and creative community with you! I mean, really: what’s a Pride parade if not a really long catwalk?

campaigns. He is also a very handsome man. I would love to get married in one of his tuxedos (navy blue).

If I have a fraction of his success someday, I could die happy. And my favorite musician would be Muse. Amazing band from Devon, England. They have this operatic, stunning take on rock music. And the lead singer Matthew has some serious pipes.

CG: Without trying to sound uncouth, I find keeping track of artists, fashion designers and musicians a lot like managing my March Madness brackets. Too many players, teams and coaches to keep it all straight. I love rich modern art and have a fanciful connection to impressionism. I also like the American realism movement and Edward Hopper.

I’m drawn to fashion that is sharp, masculine and serious that then draws the eye with a glimpse of playfulness and whimsy. I like designers who make clothes for real, yet slightly eccentric people. I think that’s what many of us are. Who doesn’t love a grey blazer with a purple paisley liner?

You know that guy who knows who and what’s up and coming on the music scenes? I’ve always kind of wanted to be him. But I’m not, and that’s okay. I’m inspired by musicians who embrace life and lifestyle and use their music to touch and inspire. Katy Perry and Lady Gaga both seem to do that, and I appreciate their gusto for life.

May/June 2014 • 25

BOOKS

WHEN NATURE QUICKENS: PQ READERS AND WRITERS SHARE THEIR SPRING READING RECOMMENDATIONS Compiled and Edited by Nick Mattos

“I’m pouring all of my enthusiasm at Emily Kendal Frey’s Sorrow Arrow (Octopus Books, 2014). These poems are often gut-punchingly sad, as the title suggests, but also laced with an ecstatic reverence for the world and everything in it—they are, in Frey’s own words, ‘fearless products of tenderness.’ It’s the kind of poetry that gives you new ways to think, and, even better, new ways to feel. It polishes and deepens your empathy. You dry your eyes and come out of it ready to be a better human, because, as Frey says, ‘at the center of suffering is love.’” —Tyler Brewington

“Kristen Iversen’s Full Body Burden: Growing Up in the Nuclear Shadow of Rocky Flats (Broadway, 2013) is absolutely astounding. On one level, it’s a brilliantly thorough work of investigative journalism examining the history and ongoing impact of a secret nuclear weapons plant and the major environmental and public health disaster it proved to be for a small Colorado town. On another level, it’s a beautiful meditation upon secrecy, desperation, the American dream, the military-industrial complex, and the ways that families disintegrate into their component parts.

It’s hypnotic, terrifying, and fascinating in every way.” — Nick Mattos

“The Shadow of the Wind

by Carlos Ruiz Zafon (Penguin, 2005) is a story for book lovers. It begins in the Cemetery of Forgotten Books where a boy is invited to search for a book that has meaning to him.

He finds a novel—The Shadow of the Wind by Julian Carax— and loves it so much he begins to look for other books by Carax only to find someone has been destroying everything he has written. What happens next is both lyrical and haunting all at the same time. Zafon has written a love story to stories.” —Jeff Monday

“I love The Pink Swastika: Homosexuality in the Nazi Party by Scott Lively and Kenneth Abrams (Self-published, 1995), in large part because the book is not accurate. The author posits that the Nazi Party was actually a gay racist military organization bent on world domination—which is more or less accurate, sure, except for the queer part. It goes on to fold deep occultism, Satanism, the Boy Scouts, and serial killers into a premise that is already thoroughly batshit insane. A lot of people condemn this book because the premise is nutzo and pitched from a place where the authors clearly believe it is true. However, here’s the thing: that doesn’t make this book any less amazing. Most everyone who gets up in arms about this book has never read it or even held a copy. Do you really want to be another person upset about a book you’ve never read? Read it. Get over the fact that it is wrong and enjoy it. You will, I promise.” —Genkiko Ramaty

“Margaret Atwood’s Cat’s Eye (Anchor, 1998) has long been a favorite of mine. The adult Elaine still struggles with the bullying she suffered as a pre-teen at the hands of her best frenemy, Cordelia, and tries to overcome her feelings of inadequacy throughout the book. Even as she achieves great success as an artist, Elaine can’t help but see herself through the prism of Cordelia’s ancient criticisms. As someone who was bullied terribly in my own childhood, I can relate not only to Elaine’s experiences, but also to the emotional damage you have to try to overcome as an adult as well. I love the way Margaret Atwood weaves in scientific facts from Elaine’s brother to offset the less-easier-to-grasp life lessons. Plus, come on, it’s Margaret Atwood! Her prose is like the warmest blanket of words that you want to wrap around yourself.” —Tara Dublin

“John Steinbeck’s The Red Pony (Penguin, 1937) reflects our Portland spring — gloomy, but with promise of new life.

The Red Pony consists of four interconnected stories (and a fifth unconnected story in some editions) about a ranching family in 1930’s California.

The first chapter rips your guts out, the second makes you sad, and then the third one rips your guts out again. But once you reach chapter four you are wizened by your experiences. Then

26 • May/June 2014

the tales and tears of a pioneering grandpa remind you that the sorrow of the past and the promise of the future are all wrapped up in one. And then you go to bed with a sad, sleepy smile on your face.” —Randall Szabo “Mark Helprin’s collection of short stories, The Pacific and Other Stories (Penguin, 2005)is pure perfection. Few writers surpass or equal Helprin’s gift for stunningly rich imagery in the printed word, and he has a wicked sense of humor, revealed in bits through the random thoughts and remarks of his characters.” —Laird Young “Cloe Caldwell’s Legs Get Led Astray (Future Tense, 2012) is a book that I wish I had written myself. Her writing makes even the cruder stories seem poetic. Each short story makes me both nostalgic for my 20s and thankful that I will be leaving them in a few months. The honesty found on these pages will leave you wanting to go on a risque adventure and then let everyone know about it.” —Kathryn Foster “I want to recommend Sp r i n g Sn ow b y Yu k i o Mishima ( Vintage, 1990), the first installment to his gorgeous tetralogy ‘The Sea of Fertility’ (upon the completion of which he promptly committed seppuku at the age of 45). Set in early 1910’s Japan, it follows the emotional teenage son of a recently wealthy samurai family, Kiyoaki Matsugae.

The protagonist is the perfect picture of conflicted youth as Kiyoaki by turns passes through ennui and rage, stoicism and desire, especially as he rejects and yearns for Satoko Ayakura, the beautiful daughter of an aristocratic family hard on its luck.

Throughout the novel he can think of no one but himself, until he understands he just cant go on living in such a way.

Mishima is so good at illuminating the profound psychology behind even the most mundane decisions. This book is like a subtle yet grand prelude to the tetralogy, best read in a quiet garden with a cup of tea.” —Mitchell Falconer

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ARTS & CULTURE

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May/June 2014 • 27

BOOKS

PERSPECTIVES

“I AM WHO I AM”

By Marco Davis, Special to PQ Monthly

that not only embraces me, but celebrates the crazy I carry around with me on the daily. Most of my life I have held myself “I am. I am who I am, and no one, nobody down. I have held back and made myself can tell me I’m not. A pulse, a hidden heart- small as to not make a ripple. People, I just beat, a pounding deep within. Craving the can’t be quiet. I am a natural born leader courage to stand on the and I choose to lead edge. Why? Why does this revolution with flight have to come joy, benediction, party, from a fall?” and expression. DragThose are the openalution is about celeing words to my song, brating one’s indepen“I Am,” which was the DANCE. The indepenopening number of my DANCE to be free and first show, “Dragaludance the dance of life tion.” The words didn’t in whatever count and take shape into a song rhythm you find. until the summer of Sometimes you’ll 2012, while I was drivhear me speak aloud ing across the bridge on the reminder, “5, 6, 7, my way to the beach for 8.” Often, I throw in a my weekly soul cleanse “kick step, kick step, (also known as the yellpas de bouree, turn, ing rant at the beach, and pelvic thrust.” It’s where I scream who I a reminder to keep the am and why I’m here). dance alive. To feel the I am a 45 year-old drag beat within your soul queen living in the and thrust forward oldest settlement west with pride your own of the Rockies—Astoria, dance. If you “fall out Oregon. of step,” look at it as a I am a romantic. I solo and own it. Have am a survivor of rape. you ever noticed we’re Twice. I am a survivor most open with our joy of Catholic school and when we make a mishigh school in the 1980s take in public? A trip in the logging and fishon the sidewalk always Daylight is all the rage in Astoria--and far beyond that fair ing town of Astoria. I best. Own your smiles. city’s borders. am not my wounds.

We don’t share them I am joy. I am revolution. I am silly, I am enough. We have become too angry and proud. too critical. The joy gets stuffed down to I am proud I came out in this lifetime. make way for the “brand” our Pride must Yes, mine was the, “Duh, we all knew” take. Celebrate your indepenDANCE, your response, too. I was told I was gay from a indepenDANCE to be you. Walk with your very young age. I had it shouted and beaten friends, but wave your own flag. Find your into me for years. I had friends encourage strength, your voice, and “sing out Louise”— me to maybe think about the fact that I own your song, weak notes and all. Stand might be gay. You think? None of it mat- out. ters. If you aren’t ready, you aren’t—and I just wasn’t. I am who I am.

Follow Daylight Cums at http://daylightI am proud to say I live in a community cumsdragalution.blogspot.com/.

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PERSPECTIVES

MUSIC NEWS PERSPECTIVES

LIVING OUT LOUD Always the Bride—Never the Bridesmaid

By Kathryn Martini, PQ Monthly

I recently returned from a sunny vacation to Loreto, Mexico, overlooking the Sea of Cortez and surrounded by the desert hills of Baja California Sur. A group arrived for a destination wedding and the hotel staff and guests were in a flutter. The excitement and the chatter drifted through the resort—wonderings if the weather would be nice, and how thank goodness the wind died down, and did you hear that her suitcase was lost and sitting in an airport in Manzanita?

The wedding commenced on the beach at sunset and my friend and traveling companion Michelle and I snuck a peak while sipping margaritas; I admitted, “I would love to get married again.” Michelle looked at me in an odd way. I’ve been married and divorced three times, and as excruciating as my three divorces were, the being married part, the sharing of experiences with another person and the merging and meshing of the messy parts of life is something I strive to experience again at some point in my life. I also consider myself somewhat of an aficionado of falling in love.

Our species has a vested interest in falling in love, or more specifically, having sex and procreating. The euphoric feeling of attraction releases the hormones that draw us to the object of our desire and bond us to one another, at least for a period of time.

Those hormones keep us interested long enough to see if a pregnancy will be produced and if so, a pair bond is developed.

If not, we either consciously choose to stay together, or we move on to finding the next suitable mate. Although none of it is done in an entirely aware state, falling in love is a similar experience for many people.

In the throes of falling in love, we fail to see the other person’s faults, or at the very least, minimize their importance. This allows us to appreciate the idealized version of our love interest through the vision of an illusion. The annoyances that will one day cause distress have not yet surfaced, and if all goes as planned, by the time we are aggravated, we’ve attached and will in many cases accept the negative trait because we’ve invested in the relationship. We develop “intrusive thinking” where we can’t concentrate on anything for an extended period of time without switching our thoughts to our love interest. Some people feel capable of accomplishing feats that aren’t practical or even possible, and have grandiose ideas about their relationship, fantasizing magical stories. If we feel as though we aren’t getting the reassurance we need from our loved one, we become emotionally dependent, rearrange our lives to accommodate our lover and suffer separation anxiety. We

are exhilarated w h e n w e a re together and anxious when we are apart.

This state is often referred to as “New Relationship Energy” (NRE). The brain produces elevated levels of dopamine which aids in focusing attention on one’s lover, also causing increased energy, hyperactivity, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, accelerated respiration and heart rate and often anxiety and mania. Other hormones and chemicals released include: norepinephrine, which causes a lover to remember minute details of events together; serotonin, the chemical that is enhanced when one is taking anti-depressants; and the attachment hormones of oxytocin and prolactin, that are produced during childbirth and breastfeeding as a way to bond mother to baby. Oxytocin is released during orgasm for both men and women, and according some research, the testosterone in semen has positive effects that can calm women. This magical state lasts anywhere from six to eighteen months. It is then that the love changes: NRE acts as a bridge between a one-night-stand and a committed, long-term relationship.

Some love survives until death, but most of the time it either fades to Pragma, or a deep sense of commitment, or the couple will part ways over a period of time. NRE isn’t supposed to last a long time; it’s used to create a bond, not sustain a relationship. Without good communication and the elements of intimacy, passion, and commitment, meaningful relationships can’t develop or survive.

With hope and a little work, the couple on the beach in Loreto, Mexico will have a loving and successful marriage lasting a lifetime. Or they may not.

I’ve experienced several kinds of love in my three marriages to two men and one woman, as well as my other relationships, and I have learned to open myself up to the possibility of learning and exploring a new kind of being—transcending any kind of normative relationship that fits into a particular box or label—and being available to what comes my way. I want to love a lot of people in open-ended and fluid possibilities. I want the same freedom as when I came out as a lesbian at 35, and then as bisexual at 44. If I’m not willing to limit my sexuality, I also don’t want to limit the kinds and types of relationships I have. I want another committed love—maybe a wedding on the beach, perhaps with a man or a woman or both. Being an aficionado of love isn’t for the faint of heart, but it certainly has been interesting, and in many ways, has just begun.

Kathryn Martini is a freelance writer in Portland, Oregon. She is currently completing her first publication, Four Seasons Circle a Square Calendar. She can be reached through kathrynmartini.com.

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May/June 2014 • 29

PERSPECTIVES

ID CHECK Adjusting to Peacetime

By Leela Ginelle, PQ Monthly

GAY SKATE WITH PQ Oaks Park Roller Skating Rink

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In reading about transgender children, early in my own transition, I identified a pattern in their stories, wherein their parents, initially reluctant and dismissive of their assertions, grew to affirm their genders when the children themselves attempted suicide. While happy for the children’s eventual happiness and opportunity, I felt envious, as well, and unable to place myself in their shoes, as I had lived my childhood with a person who had himself, attempted and threatened to kill me.

My life, in those years, felt like a standoff. Inside I was under siege, divided from myself, and seemingly in perpetual danger.

Opportunity, joy and love, the elements of happiness reflected all around me, I couldn’t access, or, when I did, seemed to become poisoned. Though I was almost statistically certain to attempt suicide as a young adult, in spite of struggles, I never did. Living was my only winning option in the zero sum game I’d been born into.

Only in the last dozen years, with my dad long passed, did the grim fatalism and consistent self-destruction that had colored my life recede. My past, rather than life itself, then struck me as absurd. How had no one noticed or interceded on my behalf? How had I blocked so much out? How could our culture consistently present family as nurturing and peaceful, and society as pathologically violent, when my experience had been the opposite.

My desire for control, the engine behind my former eating disorder, and previous OCD-like behaviors, has, like a vise, slowly released over time. With each new bit of freedom, I survey things freshly, angry I’d ever doubted my safety, and furious at the circumstances responsible for my former vigilance. How would I treat myself if I’d never, myself, been mistreated—and if I didn’t still hate those who’d mistreated me?

Transitioning, my personal history felt globalized. The world, regarding my gender identity, would be just as hostile, I assumed, as my father had been to my existence. Embodying what I’d always hidden, I braced myself for open violence—an idea supported by what little media representation regarding transwomen there was, but none was forthcoming.

I still fought transphobia, though, on the Internet and inside. I fought because what I encountered via the Internet hurt me, and not fighting felt frightening. Fighting felt like revenge, just as living had when I was younger. Inside, I fought my insecurities, perhaps believing that conquering them meant ensuring my safety.

Instead, safety and security, violated to the point of obliteration earlier, were, I learned, now present, and, by all evidences, in need merely of recognition. I was trying to control a danger whose threat haunted me, but which was long vanished, like a veteran reaching for a phantom limb. My job, instead, was to recognize and enjoy the actual world rather than to fight it, as though it was my past, endowed with an immortal omnipotence.

For seemingly as long as I’ve been selfaware, I’ve searched to know why I felt insecure, certain the explanations lay buried and uninterpreted in my history. When that history returned, I devoured it greedily, hoping, through analysis, to rob it of all potency, and free myself of its influence. For months it’s felt as though I’ve succeeded, and am retooling my mind for a life unburdened by repressed trauma.

Through a happy, almost eerie serendipity, my transition has, at this same time, felt completed to me, leaving my mind freed from another onerous mental task. New goals have bubbled up within me, ones that felt both highly conventional, and yet painfully out of reach previously.

Having wrestled personal demons for years, laboring in abstract, uncompensated toil, applying myself to career concerns as I am can feel both bewildering and surprisingly straightforward. Birthed into an environment where danger lay literally around every corner, I came to associate adults, especially ones in positions of authority, with terror, making workplaces, even seemingly banal ones, appear treacherous. The new experience of briskly completing tasks without the phantom specter of ruin over me, while pleasant, I find still difficult to believe.

Life, in all its venues, I’ve so long unconsciously viewed as an unending war composed of daily battles, that the tranquil competent efficiency I’m experiencing, until it becomes routine, will likely feel suspect.

Believing in it—as I’m beginning to—means also shedding a persona of foolish heroism, and replacing it with a faith that I needn’t summon supreme courage and face deadly threats at every moment of consciousness.

Life when I was young may have resembled that description. It was miserable. What thoughts and habits I acquired while surviving it, I’ll be well rid of when they’re gone.

I’ll know they’re past by the peace that’s replaced them, for it’s what they’ve blocked and what’s led me back to myself.

Leela Ginelle is a playwright and journalist living in Portland, OR. You can write her at leela@pqmonthly.com.

30 • May/June 2014

pqmonthly.com

PERSPECTIVES

SPRINGING FORTH INTO CHANGE: NEW ADDITIONS AT BASIC RIGHTS OREGON work that is so critical here in Oregon, and in the national landscape.

As a statewide advocacy group, Basic Rights Oregon is in the business of change. For over twenty years, we have worked to create positive change that ensures equality for all lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Oregonians by building a broad and inclusive politically powerful movement, shifting public opinion, and achieving policy victories.

We have had the honor to work along side and learn from our coalition partners as well as benefit from the wisdom and hard work of the leaders and pioneers in this work who came before us. Along the way we have grown and changed as an organization. As we deepen our own analysis and educate ourselves on how to best do our work, we strive to constantly change for the better.

One of the ways we see this change is by bringing new voices into our organization, as others leave to create further change in new venues. We are fortunate to add some incredible people to our team in this movement building

pqmonthly.com

RACIAL JUSTICE AND ALLIANCE BUILDING In our Racial Justice and Alliance Building program, we work to centralize the experiences and leadership of LGBT and allied people of color and take action as an organizational ally to racial justice work. We are fortunate to add two organizers to this team: Lakia Davis and Adrian Martinez.

Lakia Davis holds a graduate degree in Clinical Psychology with an LGBT-affirmative emphasis. She was also an active member of the LGBT community in the greater Los Angeles Area and was a board member of the Lesbian Center in West Hollywood. “As a queer person of color, I have rarely felt included and represented in many communities, including the LGBT community. The general representation, literature and media are set up in a way to subtly tell me people like me don’t exist; Basic Rights is working to change that. I am excited to be a part of an organization that is working to ensure that all voices in our community are heard/lifted up.”

Adrian Martinez, a gender queer Chican@ from Los Angeles, serves on the board of Gender Justice Los Angeles, and is also a member of the Trans Justice Working Group here at Basic Rights. Adrian has a history of queer youth mentorship and voter registration work. Adrian was drawn to Basic Rights Oregon because of the dedication to racial justice and trans justice and says “I am excited to be part of a strong coalition effort with so many critical issues at the ballot this November, and working to build more power

broadly with immigrant and queer communities.”

POLITICAL LEADERSHIP Amy Herzfeld joins our team in a new position of political manager, where she will work with our Equality PAC board in managing and coordinating the candidate endorsement process and support for endorsed candidates.

Amy has an incredible history of intersectional and LGBT work, serving as the director of the Idaho Human Rights Education Center, the Oregon State Director of Working America, and the long-standing board president of Western States Center. She got her start volunteering to defeat an anti-gay initiative in Idaho; an experience that Amy says “was really transformative and affirmed my path in justice work.” She also helped create a thriving Safe Schools Coalition for Idaho’s gay and transgender youth and worked on the recent successful campaign to win earned sick days for all Portland workers.

PROGRAM & POLICY LEADERSHIP We are also changing the structure of our program work.

Previously we had one program director who oversaw both the Trans Justice and Racial Justice and Alliance Building programs. We’ve expanded that position into two, adding a policy director position.

Nico Quintana is our new program director, and will focus on programmatic work, training and leadership development as well as supervising and supporting the Racial Justice & Alliance Building team. Previously, Nico worked with the Congressional Hunger Center and the DC Trans Coalition.

A native Oregonian who grew up in Eugene, he volunteered on the 2000 No on 9 campaign. “The most exciting things I have worked on are all related to trans economic justice BASIC RIGHTS OREGON page 34

May/June 2014 • 31

DYKES ON BIKES® & FRIENDS

PERSPECTIVES

OK, HERE’S THE DEAL …

Trans Women and HIV: Do We Really Have the Memory of Goldfish?

By Monika MHz, PQ Monthly

Meeting #10 April 20, 2014 9am at Sandovals Café 460 SW Miller Rd International Women Ride Day—ALL Riders are welcome May 3, 2014 8am at Paradise HD or 9am at Columbia HD KSU at 10am—riding to Astoria Meeting #11 Sunday May 18, 2014 at 9am Escape Bar&Grill Portland Pride Ride for Parade!! Patched Members ONLY meet at Sandovals Cantina June 15, 2014 at 8am Central Oregon Pride Ride—leave Friday June 27, 2014 at 8am OR leave Saturday June 28, 2014 at 8am—you decide if you will spend the night. As Dykes On Bikes® our mission is to support our statewide Prides.

COME RIDE WITH PORTLAND’S DYKES ON BIKES®

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RIDE LOUD & PROUD WITH US!

Headlines sparked across the web at the end of April declared that a new study showed us “shocking” new numbers about the prevalence of HIV among trans women.

As annoyed I am that every single study released on HIV and trans women gives way to journalists reporting the numbers as shocking — at a certain point shouldn’t we be expecting trans women to have high rates of living with HIV as compared to general populations? Do we really have the memory of a goldfish? — I was relieved to see some marginal coverage of the numbers. Since this month’s column is about HIV it’s worth giving the following full disclosure: for the last year I’ve run a non-clinical HIV testing program for trans women. As a result I have a stake in enhanced media exposure and us taking these numbers more seriously.

Misinterpretations of the, admittedly difficult to parse, data manifesting in inaccurate headlines notwithstanding, most of the headlines buried the lead. While it’s true that the meta analysis of existing studies determined that trans women have a 48.8% higher prevalence of HIV than the general population, I think it’s worthwhile to put those numbers in context and dig a little deeper than most online media breakdowns of the Baral study in the Lancet journal. Understanding the decades-long epidemic of HIV among trans women populations is difficult to do unless we understand the numbers and have context for the same.

First, we’ve gotta understand that from the moment the CDC began collecting data on the prevalence of HIV, trans women have been lumped in with men who have sex with men (MSM) populations. However, due to the unique nature of trans women’s lives and the nature of medications — each caused the CDC and researchers to exclude trans women from our HIV response, clinical trials, treatment programs, and testing outreach.

Which means that, when coupled with medical access problems that plague trans women, Pre Exposure Prophylaxis, Post Exposure Prophylaxis, and treatment is largely out of reach for most. An unacceptable circumstance for a population that is so well known for being so high risk. As mentioned in the summary report for the Lancet study, “exclusion of transgender women from these trials is a lost opportunity to identify effective HIV-prevention strategies in a population for which implementation could be universal.”

Just how prevalent is HIV among trans women, though? Yeah, the 48.8% number is pretty scary, but let’s put that into perspective.

We always think of MSM as being the population most affected by the ongoing HIV crisis,

but according to this new analysis of numbers, trans women are 19% (19% : 23%) more likely to be living with HIV than MSM populations. Trans women are 78% more likely than other women to live with HIV, and black trans women are an astronomical 156% more likely than other women. And trans women who engage in sex work are 60% more likely to be affected

by HIV than trans women who do not. And given the vague information on global trans populations it would follow that be anywhere between a million and 18 million trans women living with HIV worldwide. That’s not only way more than we could have ever imagined, but also far too big a range. It symbolizes how little we know about trans women’s healthcare, and how isolated from sight and medical knowledge the population is.

These numbers are only the beginning when it comes to us understanding the impact that HIV has had on trans women.

While trans women are a high burden population the access to services are largely missing, but as Baral pointed out in a Huffington Post interview, “you have to be providing, but you also need people to actually seek out those services and use them.” Whether it’s through the unavailability of services for trans women, trans women’s feeling of unwelcome at clinics and service providers (55.1% of testing events that included trans people were in a non-clinical setting according to the CDC), or their fears or lack of knowledge of services preventing trans women from seeking out services amounts to a population that is hugely underserved.

So here’s the deal, with one in four trans women living with HIV and more than half of black trans women living with HIV, the trans community is in medical crisis. For a community that often thrives on and strives to living in the shadows, and for a community that faces so much social, medical, and institutional isolation that’s a dangerous proposition.

Too often trans women simply disappear from our lives, and we often think nothing of it. We’ve got to commit to giving a shit.

Forging a community to end that isolation might be a start at finding a way to improve our response to HIV. And we’ve got to promise ourselves that when we talk about trans healthcare and access we will always make a point of talking HIV. Because outside of domestic/intimate partner violence and suicide, it’s the single biggest threat facing the lives of the women in the trans community.

Not that access to hormones or surgery isn’t urgent, but if we made a little more space to talk HIV, could work to make a life-saving difference in the, presumably, millions of trans women living with HIV worldwide.

And if given a chance we might change — we might save — the life of a community.

Monika MHz is a queer trans Latina who makes her way as a Portland-based House music producer/DJ, activist, and writer. Practicing radical love through music, she believes in the transformative nature of music and its real substantive and cultural power to save lives.

You can find Monika online at monikamhz.com and @MonikaMHz.

32 • May/June 2014

pqmonthly.com

ART BRIEFS PERSPECTIVES

Like your poetry with a nice big slice of anxiety on the side? Join the hugely talented poets Monica Storss, Jamalieh Haley, Donald Dunbar, and Ethan Saul Bull for a celebration of all things real at Bone Tax Reading #3: If Not For Kidnap. It’s sure to be an unsettlingly good time. May 17, 7 PM; Anna Bananas Alberta, 2403 NE Alberta, Portland. Admission free.

Portland is known as the City of Roses — and the rhododendrons must be positively pissed about that, because they’re putting on quite a show this year to try to one-up those stupid roses. Enjoy a guided one-hour walk on Mt. Tabor enjoying some of the city’s prettiest rhodies at the Mt. Tabor Guided Rhododendron Walk, presented by Van Veen Nursery. However, watch out; there’s nothing quite as cunning as a rhododendron vying for the title of Prettiest Flower in Portland. May 18, 11 AM; Mt. Tabor Park Visitor’s Center, ADDRESS. Admission free. For more information call Dave Hillman of Friends of Mt. Tabor Park at 503-720-0979.

In 2011, Nicholas Murphy of Melbourne, Australia recorded a cover of Blackstreet’s bump-and-grind classic “No Diggity” late one night for his friends. Shared by a handful of people, the song spread like wildfire until reaching #1 on the indie blog chart Hype Machine. Thus, Chet Faker was born – an ode to Chet Baker’s singing style but incorporating the influence of a youth spent producing house and disco. Expect the indie intelligentsia to be in attendance at Chet Faker’s first Portland show, but also expect for a few babies to be conceived afterward — his sound is just that hot. May 22, 8 PM; Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside, Portland. Tickets $14; 21 and over.

In his series Transportraits, local photographer Lorenzo Triburgo examines identity and representation through the creation of landscape oil paintings as backdrops for photographic portraits of transgendered men, captured on medium-format film. With his work, Triburgo consistently con-

fronts the overlapping ideas of American identity, what is truly ‘real’, and photography’s critical role in framing and constructing our understanding of notions of identity and reality. Newspace Center for Photography presents a special opening reception for Transportraits on June 6; considering what an all-around great guy Triburgo really is, you’ll want to attend if only to shake his hand. June 6, 6 PM; Newspace Center for Photography, 1632 SE 10th Avenue, Portland.

Show runs June 6 through June 27. For more information including hours, visit NewspacePhoto.org.

Alright, fine — it’s a little odd to include the World Naked Bike Ride as an arts brief. However, if you’ve ever tried to figure out how not to look like a total dork wearing only shoes and a bike helmet, you’d know that there’s quite a bit of artistry involved in the event. Whatever. Just get naked and ride.

June 7, 8 PM; starts at Normandale City Park, 57 NE Halsey Street, Portland and continues for seven miles. Event free.

It is absolutely no secret that we here at PQ Monthly think Jason Myers is absolutely the bee’s knees, and for good reason — as manager of Floyd’s Coffee, he puts on some of the most interesting, thoughtful, and culturally-enriching queer events in the city. Testify II: A Storytelling Revival — the latest installment of his irreverent tent revival-style celebration of story and song with a queer edge — is certain to garner the distinguished gentleman yet more praise. Hosted by PQ’s own Sally Mulligan, the event includes readings and music from the likes of the Brown Sisters, Emily Jayne, Sisterbritt, Parker St. Mosee-Baum, and even our #1 crush (and frequent PQ contributor) Katey Pants. Fuck yeah, right? If absolutely nothing else, be sure not to miss the hymn sing. June 8, 7 PM; Floyd’s Coffee Old Town, 118 NW Couch Street, Portland. $5.

Join Rose, Blanche, Dorothy, and Sophia for the funniest, coolest, and most refreshing summer treat this side of Miami when Funhouse Lounge presents Golden Girls;

Live! A live stage show featuring two beloved episodes of The Golden Girls, “Sister Of The Bride” & “Isn’t It Romantic” performed by an allmale cast includi n g Ho n e y Be a Har t and Trenton Shine of The Un s c r i p t a b l e s .

S e e y o u t h e re, and thank you for being a friend. Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, June 6 through 28, 7 PM; Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Avenue, Portland. Tickets $15 in advance, $18 at the door. For more information visit FunhouseLounge.com Disjecta and artist Chris Johanson are pleased to present the fourth annual Quiet Music Festival of Portland — “The only festival where sleeping is encouraged” — on June 27 and 28. This community listening experience celebrates emotional, vibrant, and low volume music honoring the quiet act of listening, bringing together a variety of notable musicians and bands from across the country.

This year’s lineup continues the tradition of showcasing rare, one-of-a-kind performances interpreting low volume, deep-sonic meditations from folks like Mark Eitzel, Sun Foot, Sally Timms, Jonathan Sielaff, and many more. “Perfect for blending your conscious and unconscious self and music,” Johanson says the Quiet Music Festival of Portland is “an excellent place to create your own REM music videos.” June 27 and 28, doors at 7 both days; Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, Portland. Tickets $8 one day/$15 both days in advance, $10 one day/$18 both days at the door. For tickets and full schedule, visit Disjecta.org.

Some Things Are Just

brilliantmedia.us/the-brilliant-list

Our goal is to identify and celebrate the achievements o f t h o s e fi g h t i n g fo r ever yone’s equality. The winners will be featured in our annual glossy magazine that will be made available on September 28, 2014 at a celebration honoring their achievements.

Brilliant Media’s mission is: Every Letter, Every Color, Everywhere!

BRILLIANT Every Letter, Every Color, Everywhere T.M.

Here are the rules for nominating you or someone else for The Brilliant List 2014:

- Homelessness, poverty, hunger - Political Activism

1. Candidates May self-nominate or be nominated by others.

2. Candidates should reside in Oregon and SW Washington.

3. Candidates may not be an owner, employee or contractor of PQ Monthly or El Hispanic News.

4. Candidates may not be a member of the Selection Committee.

5. Candidates must demonstrate community engagement and leadership with a focus on Social Justice and diversity. See the following examples:

6. The Brilliant List Selection Committee will determine ten finalists in the following categories:

- Anti-Bullying - Lesbian, gay, bi-sexual rights - Trans Justice - Racial Justice - Immigrant Rights - Women’s Rights - Disability Rights

7. Candidates nominations must be received no later than Monday June 2, 2014 5pm PST.

- Individual Legacy Award - Individual - Individual Rising Star - Non-Profit Organization - Business Nomination

Thank you for your nomination!

Sincerely, The Brilliant List Selection Committee

www.brilliantmedia.us pqmonthly.com

May/June 2014 • 33

FEATURE

NIGHTLIFE

BASIC RIGHTS OREGON Continued from page 31

and racial equity issues, including working to reduce LGBT youth homelessness, eliminate trans health exclusions, and increase trans and POC community power.”

Danielle Askini is joining Basic Rights in the newly-created position of policy director, focusing on institutional advocacy with state agencies and policy work, as well as supervising and supporting the Transgender Justice team.

She has a long career in LGBT rights, having worked with California’s GSA Network, managed communications for Maine Won’t Discriminate, coordinated the National Safe Schools Round Table, and founded Seattle’s Gender Justice League. Danielle has been involved in international activism projects around the world and is featured on the 2014 Trans 100 list2014 Trans 100 list, which celebrates the groundbreaking work being done by trans people across the country. “I think that the reality of our communities is multi-layers and mutli-issue,” Danielle explains. “We all are existing at the intersections of many identities and Basic Rights Oregon is one of the few state equality groups that has reflected on this and modeled it in their programming.”

We are very excited about the incredible folks joining us and the work that lies ahead for us. This is an exciting year, as we are poised to win marriage, defeat the proposed discrimination ballot measure, and continue our work to advance transgender and racial justice for all Oregonians.

Each of these folks is joining us at a time of great change, and even greater opportunities for Basic Rights Oregon to take our work to the next level. You can meet these and other members of our hardworking staff and dedicated board at upcoming events and political education trainings. To find out more about all the latest with Basic Rights Oregon – visit our website www.basicrights.orgwww.basicrights.org or find us on Facebook and TwitterTwitter.

Joe LeBlanc is the Development and Communications Coordinator at Basic Rights Oregon; Founder of BUTCH VoicesBUTCH Voices, and an all-around dapper butch.

CAMERON ESPOSITO Continued from page 13

CAN’T WAIT UNTIL NEXT MONTH TO ADVERTISE? Visit: pqmonthly.com/classified-ads/place-ad to place an online ad right now!

34 • May/June 2014

ness might force her to change up part of her act.

“I love doing comedy in Portland because the second I walk off the plane it’s like, ah! It’s my people. 90 percent of the men in Portland look like me,” she said. “I mean Portland is like just a homebase sensibility wise for what I’m doing.

I’m almost worried that I won’t have enough of a struggle.

My material right now is ‘Fuck you!’ I feel like people in Portland will be like ‘Uh yeah, we’re already here. You don’t have to convince us equal marriage is important.’”

Having sold out the last dates she’s had in Portland over the last year, the Mississippi Studio recording will likely follow suit, as it should. Esposito’s insightful brand of queer-tinged comedy isn’t lazy with gay cliches or typical lesbian joke fodder. Instead of making herself or her lesbianism the joke, it’s just a facet of her life that is discussed without explanation, just like her obsession with the Terminator movies.

“I’m just really excited about this album,” Esposito said.

“I think it’s going to be kind of a big deal—not like I’m some important thing but more just...It’s an important time for us, for people like us. It’s a very important time and things are changing so much nationally but there’s still so much important work to do, I just feel like—I know that in the future we’ll look back at this time and say ‘I can’t believe how much everything was changing.’ It’s a moment in time album. I’m very happy about that. I know when I’m getting on stage and saying things like, ‘Nationally we have so much work to do,’ I know that in 20 years, that won’t be true. We’re going to keep moving forward. It’s a great time to be working right now because we’re still in this movement. It’s a huge and exciting time.” pqmonthly.com

GARDEN

CULTIVATING LIFE Conjuring the Scent of a Garden

By LeAnn Locher

My garden is not a scent-free environment. In fact, the sense of smell may be the most important and vital factor to providing me happiness and contentment in the garden. It conjures memories, joy, and the sense of discovery and identification. Our 6-year-old nephew recently joined me in the garden, and his fearless inquisitive mind was like gold to me.

“Here, smell this,” I said as I handed him a torn leaf of lemon balm. Tarragon, lily of the valley, fennel quickly followed, some including a nibble. He was game for anything and I gobbled up this fantastic moment.

I love discovering scent in the garden, and it’s one of my favorite things to do with others. It’s why our garden is jam packed with all kinds of plants to rub, crumble, and stick your nose into. Last week I found myself huffing lilacs, inhaling deeply and hard, heady with the old fashioned and unique fragrance that is fleeting but so defined for spring. As I write this from my back patio, the bubblegum sweetness of wisteria hangs heavy in the air and I know this weekend’s rains will most likely see those blooms to the ground, but in this moment, I am present and it smells damn good.

Scent is used specifically in therapeutic and healing gardens designed for the elderly and patients with dementia. In fact, of the five senses, our olfactory sense is the strongest emotional memory trigger. Scents are powerful in taking us back to different times in our lives: the smell of fresh cut grass and childhood sports, the heady scent of gardenia on a warm summer evening in our grandmother’s garden, the lavender fields of Provence we visited on a trip to France. Sometimes the memories may not be specific, but they simply trigger an emotion of happiness, warmth and familiarity. This is how it is for jasmine and me.

You’ll find a large Trachelospermum jasminoides, commonly referred to as Confederate Jasmine, on our front porch, and at our back door. When they are in bloom, I’ll open the doors and windows and their scent will blow through the house, enveloping me in memories of my childhood and the night blooming jasmine just underneath my bedroom window.

Roses vary wildly in their range of scent, from musk to sugar to citrus and what some refer to as “old rose.” A bouquet of mixed roses

from several of these kinds can fill a room and send your nose swirling with delight.

I asked readers on my Facebook page their favorite scents in the garden. Comments ranged from tomato leaves to dirt to honeysuckle and daphne, mock orange, peonies and “warm fig leaves, crushed in my hand” (thank you, Brenda K. for that bit of poetry). It’s interesting to think that what smells delightful to one person is not so good to another, and many times this comes from our cultural memories. To some, the scent of lilies is associated with the sadness of funerals, and to many Chinese, the scent of rosemary as well. “Rosemary for remembrance” is but one saying, but in many cultures as well as folklore, a sprig of rosemary was placed in the hands of the deceased at a funeral as a symbol of remembrance.

If you come for a visit in our garden, you will be forced to smell my favorite tree. Not only does the Harlequin glorybower have a heavy scented flower in mid-summer, but its leaves, when rubbed, smell exactly like peanut butter. This one gets double the points on the olfactory scale for being a two-fer.

Scented-leaf geraniums are an entirely wild grab bag of possibilities. Chocolate mint, pineapple, coconut, lime, rose and apricot are all scents available in these Pelargoniums. Nutmeg scented geraniums are a classic, and I can’t resist buying them when I find them at plant sales. It only takes a brush from your hand to release their fragrance into the air. I grow them more for their scent than for their blooms.

You should too.

A list of favorite scents in my Portland garden: • Chocolate Cosmo • Clerodendrum trichotomum Harlequin Glorybower • Confederate Jasmine • Curry plant • Daphne odora • Jonquils (fragrant daffodil) • Lemon Verbena • Lilac • Lily of the Valley • Pelargonium citronellum ‘Mabel Grey’ • Rose ‘Jude the Obscure’ • Stachys albotomentosa ‘7-Up Plant’ • Sarcococca ruscifolia Sweet box • Violet • Wisteria

LeAnn Locher can be found huffing her lilacs in her N. Portland garden.

She loves to connect with readers and answer questions at leann@pqmonthly.com or facebook.com/sassygardener. pqmonthly.com

May/June 2014 • 35

QUEER APERTURE Through his Queer Aperture project, photographer Jeffrey Horvitz has spent years documenting the LGBTQ communities of Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Vancouver, B.C. He’s well aware that a picture paints a whole mess of words, but here he offers a few actual words to better acquaint us with his dynamic subjects.

What is your name?

Woody Clarke How long have you lived in Portland?

22 years What is the first time you noticed that gayness existed?

About 10 years old in my tree house

PHOTO BY JEFFREY HORVITZ

Favorite movie?

Auntie Mame Favorite word?

Yes Least favorite word?

Maybe

What would you consider a guilty pleasure?

Hand crafted ice cream

Favorite swear word?

Poop stains

Your having a dinner party of 6 , whom would you invite?

My fiance’ and 5 of my closest friends

What is your profession?

Owner of Crush Bar

What would you consider a perfect meal?

Paella on the beach with an amazing wine

If you could with a snap of a finger what would be another profession you would like to do?

Artist

What would be a perfect day off?

A day on the yacht with loads of hot guys

Whom would you like to meet dead or alive?

Eddie Vedder

Favorite book?

Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon by Tom Spanbauer

For more Queer Aperture visit, queeraperture.com

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Everyone at PQ Monthly wishes you and yours a wonderful, special ceremony filled with countless beautiful memories.

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The Oregon Zoo, a Department of Metro, a metropolitan service district organized under the laws of the State of Oregon and the Metro Charter, located at 600 NE Grand Avenue, Portland, OR 97232-2736, is requesting proposals for Coffee and Espresso at the Oregon Zoo. Sealed proposals are due no later than 2:00 p.m., June 4, 2014, in Metro’s business offices at 600 NE Grand Avenue, Portland, OR 97232-2736, Attention: Karen Slusarenko, Procurement Analyst, RFP 2648.

Metro is seeking proposals from qualified firms to supply coffee and espresso and provide all product, equipment and related maintenance, and materials as required by the Zoo. Proposals can be viewed and downloaded from the Oregon Procurement Information Network (ORPIN), at http://orpin.oregon.gov/open.dll/.

HEALTHCARE/NATUROPATHIC

Metro may accept or reject any or all bids, in whole or in part, or waive irregularities not affecting substantial rights if such action is deemed in the public interest.

Metro extends equal opportunity to all persons and specifically encourages minority, women-owned and emerging small businesses to access and participate in this and all Metro projects, programs and services.

Metro and its contractors will not discriminate against any person(s), employee or applicant for employment based on race, creed, color, national origin, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, physical handicap, political affiliation or martial status. Metro fully complies with Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and related statutes and regulations in all programs and activities. For more information, or to obtain a Title VI Complaint Form, see www.oregonmetro.gov.

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May/June 2014 • 37

Curb Appeal Charming Bungalow NW Industrial Area

A bargain @ $209,000.

Wonderful Bungalow in Irvington Hts. $375,000.

Three bedrooms, one bath, new carpet,tile , paint, and kitchen floor, huge yard. Garage. Cute enclave of small homes nestled in hillside. Easy trek to downtown and St Johns.

Three bedroom, one bath , hardwoods,granite counters, new dishwasher, kitchen nook, formal dining room, sunporch, basement, double detached garage.

City garden space. Fireplace.

Celia J. Lyon, Principal Broker. Meadows Group Inc. Realtors 1902 SE Morrison St. Portland,OR 97214 503-260-6231 • 503-296-5540 fax

Celia J. Lyon, Principal Broker. Meadows Group Inc. Realtors 1902 SE Morrison St. Portland,OR 97214 503-260-6231 • 503-296-5540 fax

$615,000 3241 NE Glisan Portland

$349,900 2017 NE 122ND ST Vancouver

Laurelhurst home w/classic porch, huge living room w/ tiled wood burning fireplace & built-ins. Stunning dining room /plenty of light & charm! Granite, SS appliances & classic cabinetry. Big light-filled rooms on all three levels!

Midcentury Modern ON THE RIVER! New Kitchen w/ skylights, quartz counters & SS appliances. Refinished hardwoods & beautiful floor-to-ceiling windows. Open beam ceilings, new bathrooms, new electric, LED lighting, new carpeting, new wet bar, & more!

Call: Kelly Stafford, 503-515-2986

Call: Kelly Stafford, 503-515-2986

“Results that move you!”

For open houses visit: RealtorGabriela.com Each office independently owned and operated 9755 SW Barnes Rd #560 Portland, OR 97255 Gabriela Kandziora | Gabriela@KW.com | Cell: 503.481.9870 | Office: 503.546.9955

THE HOME FRONT Home Sweet Homo: A Puzzle with a Few Missing Pieces

By Steve Strode, PQ Monthly

The last year has brought about a sea change of civil rights for the LGBT community. But it’s a patchwork of rights nationwide, and as we know, somewhat of a mess.

As of this writing, same sex couples cannot get married in Oregon. But effective January 1st, 2014, “all state agencies must recognize the marriages of same-sex couples validly performed in other jurisdictions to the same extent that they recognize other marriages validly performed in other jurisdictions.” So, we can cross a bridge to the north, tie the knot, and get recognized in Oregon. But actually, it’s a temporary order set to expire on June 30th. In March, Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum has said the state will not defend the constitutional ban on gay marriage if a judge rules the ban unconstitutional.

A judge heard arguments on April 23rd; fingers crossed! Back in February on the federal level, the United States Attorney General Eric Holder expanded federal recognition of same-sex marriage in bankruptcy and survivor benefits. So, couples who feel like venturing outside their home state can get legal protection at home. And now they get some federal protections. Confused yet?

What does this all have to do with real estate? A lot. It’s generally understood that our homes are our single largest asset (except maybe running shoes as in our household).

And a rite of passage for many upon getting married is to buy a home together. For years, LGBT couples have been prohibited by taking titles in the form of “Tenants By the Entirety”—a right that had been given to married couples only, as husband and wife.

While a number of states allow Joint Tenancy, Oregon allowed Tenants in Common with Right of Survivorship instead. And then there is the complication when a legally married LGBT couple in Oregon (but remember, only legally married because they went to another state) buys vacation property in a state that has a constitutional amendment prohibiting gay marriage, and their state still wants to defend that amendment. What is the process for property disposition in the case of death or divorce, in a state that doesn’t recognize your relationship? OK, confused now?

Also percolating are the “Religious Freedom Bills” being proposed or threatened in no fewer than ten states. Oregon is not immune; a group called the Friends of

Religious Freedom is working to make it legal to refuse service to same-sex couples. Many agree that these bills, if passed, will get defeated in the courts. Within the National Association of Realtors (NAR), there has been tremendous leadership on the issue of LGBT rights.

Our Code of Ethics states that we “shall not deny professional services to any person for reasons of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, national origin, sexual orientation, or gender identify.” But that puts the world’s largest trade association in a unique position.

In many states, Code of Ethics offers more inclusive protection than actual laws. What happens when a less tolerant state passes religious freedom bills? And where does NAR fall on the issue of same-sex marriage?

Members can agree that they want to provide equal services to LGBT consumers, but can they agree to disagree on the issue of gay marriage - and not violate their Code? After all, the Code doesn’t refer to marriage. Fortunately, as a profession, Realtors are forming the opinion that marriage equality and housing cannot exist in separate silos. Minnesota serves as an excellent example. Each state and local area has their own association; when the issue of gay marriage was on the state ballot, the Minneapolis Area Association of Realtors took the position, “A culture of openness and acceptance is vital to a healthy real estate industry, and overall economy, in the Twin Cities.” So here is a local association of about 7,000 members – out of about 1,000,000 Realtor members nationwide, who took a stand to say yes, marriage equality and real estate are inextricably linked. For an industry that limits its political advocacy to housing and housing alone, this was a courageous step to delve into what detractors called social policy.

I wrote this column to raise more questions than provide answers, as it mirrors how we’re all feeling right now. We’re excited about the positive steps forward, but annoyed by the curve balls being thrown from the far right. I never thought when my partner and I bought our first home in our mid-twenties (yikes, seven homes ago), we’d even have the possibility of getting married. And now I know it’s just a matter of months, weeks, or possibly even days away.

Steve Strode is a broker with Meadows Group Inc., Realtors, in Portland and can be reached at steve@ sagepacificliving.com. He serves on the Diversity Committee and Global Business & Alliances Committee at the National Association of Realtors and is a PAC trustee with the Portland Metropolitan Association of Realtors.

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NEWS BRIEFS THE GOOD LIFE

LOCAL On April 23, U.S. District Judge Michael McShane began hearing arguments to overturn the ban on same-sex marriage. As of press time, rulings were tentatively set for May 14, days before the May 23 deadline. By the time you read this, they may already be in. Among those in attendance at the hearing were Portlanders Ben West and Paul Rummell, one of the four Oregon couples who filed lawsuits for the right to marry. Here we go, Oregon!

On April 19, The Twilight Room Annex, formerly known as the P Club Bar and Grill, closed its North Portland doors for good after failing to pay a $400,000 fine received in response to a 2012 discrimination complaint for turning away transgender patrons. Former-owner Chris Penner, whose bank accounts were seized in connection with a Bureau of Labor Industries judgment, had left a voicemail on the phone of one of the patrons who filed the complaint, saying: “Unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond my control, I’m going to have to ask for you, Cass and your group, not to come back on Friday nights. People think that A) we’re a tranny bar, or B) that we’re a gay bar. We are neither. People are not coming in because they just don’t want to be here on a Friday night now.”

Oregon United for Marriage recently announced that many of the state’s leading racial justice groups have stepped up in support for marriage equality, forming Communities of Color United for Marriage. Khalil Edwards, a racial justice and alliance building organizer for Basic Rights Oregon and coordinator for the Black Chapter of PFLAG Portland, released the statement: “People of color have been advocating for LGBT equality for as long as anyone, and we are standing together today to display and honor the work that has been done to get us to this historic moment.”

As if there were ever any doubt about the fabulousness of gay weddings, a study by the Williams Institute, an independent research group at UCLA, estimates that legalizing gay marriage in Oregon would generate more than $47 mil-

lion in three years. It could also generate over 400 new jobs, according to the study. Hey economy—you’re welcome.

On April 11—this year’s National Day of Silence, on which students come together to create awareness around LGBT bullying in schools—two Oregon City High School students wore T-shirts to school that read “Gay Is Not OK” and “Gay Day Is Not OK.” In an interview with KATU, one of the students, senior Alex Borho, commented, “I’m not comfortable with you guys making a whole day about what you believe. So if you’re going to make a whole day out of it and not talk and a have a ‘moment of silence,’ then I can wear my T-shirt.” According to KATU, most of the other students with whom the network spoke didn’t agree with the boys’ decision to wear the shirts or their message. An administrator said the school made the students turn the shirts inside out or take them off while on campus, according to KATU. In a recent video interview with the Oregonian, Lorraine Mae Rafferty, Oregon Republican candidate for governor explained that one of the reasons she’s running for governor is her belief that gay marriage is a sin, “just the same as murder.” Ironically, on Rafferty’s campaign website, her slogan states: “Let’s get it straight. An Americans [sic] life is not about the economy, It’s [sic] about freedom. Out of freedom comes everything good.”

Not far out enough for you? Candidate Dennis Richardson, who is widely expected to win the Republican nomination for Oregon governor, might give Rafferty a run for her money. In a 2007 newsletter sent out the day after the Virginia Tech shootings, under the headline “A tragic week in review,” Richardson lumped together the violent tragedy with the Oregon House’s approval of a landmark bill establishing domestic partnerships and granting rights to same-sex couples. Obvious offensiveness aside, Richardson’s objection to HB 2007 was based on the shaky—if not absurd—logic that granting rights to same-sex couples “creates a special class of beneficiaries by giving the benefits of marriage to gay and lesbian couples, while depriv-

ing those same rights from non-gay and lesbian couples, such as two adult sisters who live together, or a mother who lives with her adult child.” Huh? NATIONAL The Idaho Division of Veterans Services recently denied U.S. Navy veteran Madelynn Taylor the right for her now-deceased, female spouse’s ashes to be interred at the Idaho State Veterans Cemetery because the Idaho constitution bans same-sex marriage. Taylor, 74, told a Boise TV station that the cemetery denied the pair burial since they didn’t have an Idaho marriage license. In response, retired U.S. Army Colonel Barry Johnson offered up his burial plot in the cemetery to Taylor, saying in an open letter published in the Idaho Statesman on April 30 “I am happy to give my fellow veteran that small piece of mind. And I do it to honor all the great Americans I’ve served with along the way – gay, straight, whatever.” Whether the cemetery will allow the transfer remains unclear.

The highly anticipated Harvey Milk stamp will be released in the U.S. on May 22—Milk’s birthday, as well as Harvey Milk Day in California. The stamp is a blackand-white image of Milk flashing his infamous grin, with a rainbow block on the left-hand side. The stamp marks the first time an openly gay U.S. politician has been featured on U.S. postage.

By Kim Hoffman

Dog & Planet’s Best Friend All-Natural Pet Foods Earth-Friendly Pet Supplies Local, Hand-Crafted Goods We Donate 10% of Our Profits to Help Animals in Need 2148 N Killingsworth St.

503-477-8381

NoPoPaws.com

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