PQ Monthly: November/December 2012

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• November/December 2012

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IT TAKES A VILLAGE, PEOPLE We queers are abundantly familiar with the importance of community, chosen family, loyalty, and solidarity. From Stonewall, to No on 9, to Yes on 74, the tide that is moving us toward full equality grows ever-stronger thanks to the ongoing, mind-opening, unflinching dedication of the LGBTQ community and our allies.

History was made on Nov. 6, 2012, as voters backed same-sex marriage at the ballot box for the first time — EVER. At election night parties, and reflective gatherings that followed, the elation and relief — and hope that this was just the beginning — expressed by our community was, quite simply, beautiful to behold.

But we’re far from done. The freedom to marry won in Washington makes us even more eager to get all dolled up for some big gay (legal) weddings in Oregon. Winning this next round is going to require a lot of work, a lot of difficult conversations, and a whole hell of a lot of money, honeys.

Which brings us to another important aspect of solidarity — supporting our local queer businesses, artisans, and nonprofits, especially during the holiday season. We’ve given you a number of ideas — and hopefully a friendly kick in the pants — this month as to how to support local and why it’s important. We’ve also launched a new PQ Directory app for Android (find it on Google Play; a version for Apple is coming soon), that will make connecting with LGBTQ-owned and -allied businesses that much easier.

Let us also never forget that the fight for our rights doesn’t end at the altar, or with our own narrow self-interests. We are not L, G, B, T, or Q, we are LGBTQ, and our struggles for justice — trans, racial, economic, you name it — must be shared if they are to be won.

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COVER IMAGE: A glue gun is just one of the creative weapons of choice for Sarah Dee Ditson, who was in her element for our photo shoot at the ultimate DIY playground, SCRAP (scrappdx.org). Read more about Ditson and other local artisans on page 23. Photo by Jeffrey Horvitz, PQ Monthly.

A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE: Holy matrimony! First comes Washington, then comes Oregon?............................................................ page 6 Janet Mock lifts and amplifies voices of girls like her............................................................................... page 9 Local queer businesses and nonprofits need your holiday dollars......................................................... page 10 Justin Paul Russell brings passion and transparency to pinot.................................................................. page 13 Sleep, play, love: Bringing a natural touch to the bedroom..................................................................... page 14 Holiday thrive guide: Uncommon wisdom for healing and growing in winter........................................ page 16 Pride of the Big Sky: Sherri Murrell brings more than wins to PSU............................................................. page 17 DI(f)Y gifts: Queer artisans do it for you...................................................................................................... page 23 Have yourself a merry little ‘Queer Quistmas’........................................................................................... page 23 Cheryl Strayed on grief, writing, and the end of homophobia................................................................ page 29

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Columns: The Comeback Kid; The Lady Chronicles; Whiskey & Sympathy; Latebian Life; Rain City; Cultivating Life; and Eat, Drink, and Be Mary. Plus Query a Queer, Astroscopes, See and Be Seen … and more!

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NEWS BRIEFS

BREVITY ROCKS! NEWS FROM NEAR AND FAR

In the official White House on the left photo by Pete Souza, President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama embrace Vice President Joe Biden and Dr. Jill Biden moments after the television networks called the election in their favor. Wisconsin Sen. Tammy Baldwin (center photo) and Oregon House Rep. Tina Kotek (right, photo by Jules Garza, PQ Monthly) were among the LGBTQ candidates to come out on top on Election Day.

ELECTION 2012 As you probably know by now, President Barack Obama — easily the biggest ally the LGBTQ community has ever had in the White House — won reelection, besting Gov. Mitt Romney by a margin of nearly 100 electoral votes (303 to 206).

Other ally victories in the executive branch include Washington Gov. Jay Inslee and Portland Mayor Charlie Hales.

The November elections were especially groundbreaking in the number of victories for LGBTQ candidates and issues.

Sen. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wisconsin) became the first out gay non-incumbent elected to Congress in the history of the nation. In the House of Representative, six openly LGBTQ candidates celebrated victories, including Wisconsin’s Marc Pocan (the first out gay candidate to follow another openly gay member of Congress), Arizona’s Krystan Sinema (the first out bisexual congressperson), and California’s Mark Takano (the first out gay person of color to win election in the United States). Also elected were Sean Maloney (New York), David Cicilline (Rhode Island), and Jared Polis (Colorado).

In Oregon, bisexual Secretary of State Kate Brown won reelection, as did lesbian Oregon Supreme Court Justice Virginia Linder (who was the first out lesbian elected to a state supreme court) and out Oregon House Rep. Tina Kotek (who is poised to become the nation’s first lesbian Speaker of the House). Oregon Supreme Court candidate Nena Cook and House District 19 candidate Claudia Kyle both made a strong showing, but ultimately lost to their opponents. In Lake Oswego, out gay candidate John Gustafson won a seat on the City Council.

Other LGBTQ candidates who ran in Oregon but did not win include Former Portland mayoral candidate Cameron Whitten (running for State Treasurer), Christina Lugo (Oregon House District 5), and Kelly Caldwell (East Multnomah Soil and Water Conservation District at Large #1).

In Washington, five of the six LGBTQ candidates running for election to the state House of Representatives won, including Jamie Pederson, Laurie Jinkins, Marko Liias, Jim Moeller, and Dave Upthegrove. Shelly Crocker did not win her bid. Superior Court candidate Elizabeth Serns also won her election.

But even with the incredible number of LBTQ candidates and allies elected to office, the biggest cause for celebration may have been the four states in which voters came out in support of marriage equality. Pro-marriage equality ballot measures passed in Maine, Maryland, and of course, Washington, while voters in Minnesota defeated a referendum seeking to pqmonthly.com

ban same-sex marriage. Washington will begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples starting Dec. 6. Learn more about LGBTQ election victories at victoryfund.org.

TRANS JUSTICE

will include Drag Queen Bingo (hosted by Bolivia Carmichaels), a live auction, raffle, and signature cocktails. Learn more at cascadeaids.org.

In related news, the San Francisco Health Commission voted unanimously Nov. 6 to make its Healthy San Francisco program — which provides health care to uninsured city residents — inclusive of surgical care for transgender patients.

San Francisco will be the first city in the nation to provide trans-inclusive healthcare to uninsured residents. Learn more about this victory at transgenderlawcenter.org.

In Bend, the Human Dignity Coalition is putting on the first of what it hopes will be monthly gay nights at Club Seven, Dec. 1 at 7:30 p.m. The inaugural event, which is part of the Central Oregon LGBTQ and allied community recognition of World AIDS Day, is themed “Don We Now Our Gay Apparel.”

A contest costume will be held, recognizing winners in three categories: Tackiest/Ugliest Christmas Sweater, Winter Character Costume (ex. Santa), and Stereotypically “Gayest” Outfit.

For more info, visit humandignitycoalition.com.

Closer to home, Basic Rights Oregon is celebrating victories in the fight for trans-inclusive healthcare in the state with the premiere its new trans healthcare video (previewed at the 2012 Trans Justice Summit) on Friday, Nov. 16 at Mercy Corps. The event will include a panel of folks from the video, guest speakers, and a raffle with prizes from She Bop. Learn more and RSVP at basicrights.org.

Salem HIV/AIDS activist (and PQ Monthly ad sales rep) Jonathan Reitan has created the Northwest AIDS Memorial — an online memorial to those lost to HIV/AIDS in Oregon and Southwest Washington — and is looking for more submissions. To contribute to the memorial, submit a photo along with the person’s name and place of residence to NorthwestAIDS@gmail.com.

Trans Awareness Week (Nov. 12-20) continues Nov. 17 and 18 with the TransConnect Resource Fair at Q Center, followed by Transgender Day of Remembrance events on Nov. 20. TDOR began as “Remembering Our Dead,” a 1999 web project and San Francisco candlelight vigil to honor Rita Hester, a transgender woman whose Nov. 28, 1998, murder remains unsolved. Now, communities around the world spend that day memorializing those killed due to anti-trans hate. For details on trans awareness and remembrance events in Portland, including a presentation by writer and activist Janet Mock, see page 9. To learn more about the history of trans folks in Oregon and SW Washington, check out “This Month in Queer History” online.

WORLD AIDS DAY Dec. 1 marks the 24th World AIDS Day and a number of events in Portland and Vancouver will remember those we’ve lost to HIV/AIDS while looking forward to end to the epidemic.

The Vancouver event “Remembering with Hope” starts at 7 p.m., Nov. 30 at the Clark County Elections Office (1408 Franklin St.) and will include opportunities to remember lost loved ones as well as a presentation on breakthroughs in HIV vaccine research by Dr. Nancy Haigwood. For more information visit gayvancouverwa.org.

Cascade AIDS Project with host a Red Ribbon Party at Hotel Monaco Dec. 1 from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. The free event

OTHER LOCAL NEWS Community member Tommie Spilmon passed away in October. Spilmon was active in the Portland leather community and served as Ms. Oregon State Leather 2006, Chair of Bad Girls Portland, a board member of Blackout Leather Productions, and a founding member of Boys/Bois in Leather Service - Rose City Chapter. Donations can be made at any Bank of the West location to “Tommie’s Memorial Fund.”

The U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team (aka winners of the 2012 Olympic gold) team is currently on its Fan Tribute Tour and will coming through Portland on Nov. 28. Midfielder Megan Rapinoe, who was recently named one of ten finalists for the FIFA Women’s World Player of the Year, will be repping her new hometown (the soccer star recently moved to PDX; stay tuned for more about Rapinoe in PQ Monthly).

The Sexual Minorities Round Table is considering changing its name to the Alliance for a Safe Community to reflect the diversity of the LGBTQ community and the group’s focus on relationship building. To get involved, attend the next SMRT meeting on Dec. 11 at the Justice Center (1111 SW 2nd Ave.).

The flow of funding from Intel to the Boy Scouts of America, which the Oregonian says amounted to nearly $200,000 in 2010, is drying up. The company, which had awarded hundreds of thousands of dollars to the organization in the past, no longer allows donations to organizations that actively discriminate against gays and lesbians.

November/December 2012 •

NEWS

HOLY MATRIMONY! First comes Washington, then comes Oregon?

By Julie Cortez

OREGON’S TRAIL TO EQUALITY

PQ Monthly

Recognizing the level of support for Referendum 74 their neighbors to the south provided, Richter, who was born and raised in Oregon, and McDonagh, for whom the state became a second home and “refuge” after she came out, both enthusiastically pledged to aide in efforts to overturn the 2004 amendment to Oregon’s Constitution that resulted from the passage of anti-gay Ballot Measure 36.

Variations on “Oregon is next” were a frequent refrain t h ro u g h o u t t h e t ow n h a l l , a n d Basic Rights Oregon wasted no time in rallying the troops — sending its supporters a call to arms on Nov. 7 signed by Executive Director Jeana Frazzini.

“There were a lot of firsts last night,” the email Photos by (left to right) Julie Cortez, Diana Sell Photography, and Jules Garza, PQ Monthly read. “And we’re ready for more.

(Left to right) Kirsten Richter and Megan McDonagh share a kiss in Vancouver; Cory L. Murphy and Matthew H. Helmkamp get hitched in Portland; and Now it’s Oregon’s BRO Executive Director Jeana Frazzini gets emotional on Election Night. turn. Basic Rights “I believe November 6, 2012, will be a date we remember,” Oregon is committed to leading the effort to be the first Portland Gay Men’s Chorus Artistic Director Bob Mensel said state to overturn a constitutional amendment banning during PGMC’s post-election town hall. Held Nov. 7 at First marriage. The wins last night took monumental effort. In Congressional Church in Vancouver, the event served as an Washington alone, it took $11 million and more than 30 emotional and cathartic celebration of progress in the hard- thousand volunteer hours. For Oregon to launch a 2014 fought battle for the right to marry. ballot campaign, we need you to GET ENGAGED today!”

Mensel likened the impact of the electoral victory to The message called for recipients to sign a pledge of supthat of the Stonewall Riots and Harvey Milk’s assassination, port, help BRO raise $100,000 by year’s end, and commit adding that one day young people will ask: “Where were to contributing 10 conversations toward a goal of 10,000 you when equality prevailed at the ballot box?” “about why marriage matters.”

With the passage of Referendum 74, a majority of Wash“I didn’t in my wildest dreams expect all four states to ington voters backed the pro-same-sex marriage law passed prevail in these votes this year,” Frazzini told PQ Monthly by the state’s legislators and signed into law by Gov. Chris during the town hall as the gay men’s chorus marked the triGregoire earlier this year. umphs with a love song. “It’s been such a long road, and to As a result, Kirsten Richter and Megan McDonagh’s finally be in this moment is overwhelming and thrilling.” nearly decade-long marriage will be legally recognized in Frazzini said she had “no regrets at all” about BRO’s decithe state they call home. The couple, who live up the street sion not to push for a vote in Oregon this year. from First Congressional, came to the town hall the day “Every state has a different path, and it’s been important after the election with already-forming plans to become to have victories prior to today in the courts and in the leglegally wed in September 2013, on the nine-and-a-half-year islatures, and now to have one proactively at the ballot,” she anniversary of their church ceremony at a United Church said, referring to Maine’s victory. “We’re right where we need of Christ in Oregon. to be to go forward and be the first state to overturn a consti“I had no doubt that it would come in our lifetime,” tutional amendment. It’s a tremendous undertaking, but the Richter said of their newly-recognized civil right. “I didn’t momentum is with us. I think having the opportunity to do quite expect it so soon.” the work in Washington state — with Oregon staff, Oregon “I’m excited cause she gets to finally take my name,” volunteers, Oregon leadership right alongside Washington McDonagh said, laughing as her wife flashed her a bemused leaders — has prepared us like never before.” smile.

The two agreed the victory also makes for a smoother path NO ONE SAID IT WOULD BE EASY to another highly-anticipated milestone: “It makes it a lot easier for us now to have kids,” McDonagh noted before RichBased on his observations of Oregon’s right wing and ter finished her sentence, “now that we can protect them.” the divisions he perceives within the LGBTQ community, “I also like that I’m able to breathe a little easier,” Rich- Cory L. Murphy is of the opinion that convincing the state’s ter added, “knowing that if something were to happen to voters to reverse Measure 36 might be more difficult than one of us, we’re protected — at least in Washington and many expect. That’s not to say he doesn’t have a very perany other states that recognize us, we’re protected. Because sonal reason to hope his reservations are unfounded. that’s always a fear.”

Murphy and Matthew H. Helmkamp were married in It was a refreshing — and historic — change. On Election Day 2012, supporters of the freedom to marry for same-sex couples found themselves choking back tears of joy rather than despair, and an unblemished record of over 30 hard-to-swallow defeats gave way to a clean sweep for marriage equality in Washington, Maryland, Maine, and Minnesota.

• November/December 2012

Portland’s Old Church on Aug. 25, 2012, about a year after deciding they were ready to tie the knot.

“We knew we were right for one another and loved each other very much,” Murphy said. “One day I told him, ‘I’m not getting any younger and I am not waiting ‘til my 40s to get married.’ Of course I was joking, but it begged the question about why we were waiting and then it hit me: ‘Oregon isn’t going to pass marriage equality anytime soon. So why not solemnize our union now when we’re ready?’”

Murphy, a community organizer and advocate for Portland’s LGBTQ and African-American communities, as well as vice-chair of the Sexual Minorities Round Table, had witnessed too many defeats on the marriage equality front to be optimistic about Oregon’s timeline for progress.

“I was there in line at the [Multnomah] county building and witnessed for a friend’s marriage in 2004,” he recalled, “and I watched as the voters of this state took away our rights with Measure 36. I also was extremely disappointed that our community did not find relief from the Oregon Supreme Court in the ‘Li & Kennedy vs. State of Oregon’ case. Since then we have seen how electoral politics in Oregon have affected several issues — such as transportation, crime, job, taxation, and schools — which have led me to believe that more conservative elements in areas around the state are very well-organized and entrenched.”

In contrast with the far right’s strength, Murphy saw weaknesses in the pro-LGBTQ response. “When Measure 36 passed, it was completely obvious that the racial/ethnic — as well as socio-economic — divisions within Portland’s LGBT community suggest that the 1994 campaign did not build the requisite coalitions needed to run up totals in Multnomah, Washington, and Clackamas counties to block enactment of Measure 36,” he said. “These tangible divisions within our community along racial, gender, and class lines created alternate ‘queer’ universes in Oregon where some in our community can be part of coalition work and others are locked out. Why we lost Measure 36, among other tactical reasons, is because our base was divided — and until these universes come together, we will continue to lose.”

Murphy said he was consulted by community leaders as they deliberated whether to pursue an Oregon ballot measure this election year, and he agreed with their decision to wait. A victory this time around, he insisted, will require “all LGBT advocacy, pride, and service organizations becoming part of the narrative. Then we need to hold accountable the folks who keep expecting us to raise money and vote for them. I want to see the entire slate of Oregon elected officials on TV, radio, print, online, and in town halls across the entire state as part of an extended conversation with all Oregonians, not just the ones who agree with us. There is room in the electorate to get to a majority. We just haven’t done enough yet to reach these folks at home, work, at play, and in church.”

Individuals can get involved in the movement, Murphy continued, “by volunteering, as well as having conversation with their friends and family across the state. Also, everyone in the LGBT community that can safely do so should come out. Showing our numbers socially and politically and then using that power to elect legislators who will advocate for us is the best thing we can do to change hearts and minds.”

Visit www.basicrights.org and www.lovecommitmentmarriage.org for more information on how you can help. pqmonthly.com

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November/December 2012 •

NEWS

UNEXPECTED HEROES: SAVING THE DAY FOR TRANS KIDS

By Erin Rook PQ Monthly

Dr. Wayne Maines never expected to become an advocate for trans rights. But then, the Air Force veteran and former Republican couldn’t have known that his son’s identical twin would turn out to be a girl. Like many parents of trans and gender nonconforming children, Wayne and his

SuperHeroes for SuperKids raises funds for TransActive’s work supporting trans and gender nonconforming children and their families. wife Kelly were not gender experts when they were confronted with their daughter’s unexpected gender identity.

Yet the couple from a small town in Maine have become fierce defenders of their daughter’s rights.

That’s why Portland-based advocacy organization TransActive has invited Maines to speak at its annual “SuperHeroes for SuperKids” fundraising event on Dec. 2. Maines speaks nationally and writes for the Huffington Post about trans issues and has been recognized by the American Civil Liberties Union and the Gay and Lesbian Advocate and Defenders for his advocacy work.

“Wayne went from being a conservative Republican to taking the Religious Right and ultra-conservative hategroups and their legislative allies to court regarding his daughter Nicole’s right to use the girl’s bathroom at her school,” says TransActive Executive Director Jenn Burleton. “He has been on a personal journey of understanding and the need for activism that is not only representative of many of the families TransActive works with, but that also represents the best of who we, as a people, should hope to be.”

Joining Maines as a guest speaker is newly re-elected Oregon Secretary of State Kate Brown, who Burleton says has expressed interest over the years in helping to raise awareness about the needs of trans and gender nonconforming children.

Portland is lucky to be home to the only independent nonprofit in the nation offering a comprehensive range of service to meet those needs. TransActive provides counseling with experienced therapists, case management, medical referrals, community education, family advocacy, a speakers bureau, support groups for a range of age groups, and “In A Bind,” a chest compression binder donation program.

The largely volunteer-run organization currently serves 300 families nationwide, and about 100 locally. Funds raised from tickets sales and the event’s auction will go toward sustaining TransActive’s daily, essential work.

“It is not an exaggeration to say that the support and advocacy services TransActive provides is literally lifesaving in many cases,” Burleton says. “[We also] help families understand that they are not alone in this, that their children have every good chance to grow up happy and healthy, and that they do not have to become ‘gender experts’ in order to advocate for their children’s needs.”

While most of the children currently served by TransActive are in heteronormative and cisgender-identified families, Burleton says the support of the LGBTQ community at large is vital.

“Our LGB community and our nation as a whole remains obsessed with issues of sexuality over core gender identity,” Burleton says. However, “marriage equality, job security, visitation rights, and so many other things have no meaning whatsoever if our kids do not live long enough to access those rights and privileges.”

Changing the prognosis of a group so marginalized that more than 80 percent consider suicide is a personal mission for Burleton. As a woman of transgender experience, she knows all too well the challenges faced by the young people TransActive serves.

“I was kick-started into action by the realization that 50 years after I was struggling with this as a small child, not much had really changed with regard to support and proactive care being available for these kids and their families,” Burleton says. “I simply looked around and saw that no one else was really focusing on this population of our most vulnerable kids — including the LGBTQ community in general — and so, I decided to take it on.”

TransActive’s “SuperHeroes for SuperKids,” 3 p.m. to 6 p.m., Dec. 2, Refuge PDX, 116 SE Yamhill St, $15/advance, $20/door, all ages, transactiveonline.org.

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PERSPECTIVES

‘I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS ME’ Janet Mock lifts and amplifies voices of girls like her

you did and why in Marie Claire?

Janet Mock: It was very important to me to tell my story in a women’s publication because I needed to make it a point that trans women are women, too, and so our stories were women’s issues…. Working in the media, we were reporting a lot on LGBT kids committing suicide and [on] bullying…. And so at that point, I just felt as if no one was really talking about the things that trans women, specifically trans women of color, have been dealing with and I just felt it was time to tell my story as someone who transitioned as a young person.

PQ: Why do you think Photo by Aaron Tredwell the nation was so captiFormer People magazine editor Janet Mock is on a mission to improve the lives of young trans women. vated by these stories of

By Erin Rook mostly white and gay kids PQ Monthly killing themselves and why did the murders of young trans women of color not get that same kind of attention?

When Janet Mock shared her teenage transition story Mock: I think women of color, period, people of color, with Marie Claire in June 2011, she had been working as period, don’t get any attention when it comes to the stresses a staff editor for People magazine for five years covering in our community or when we’re targeted for violence or pop culture and entertainment — not subjects often asso- anything like that…. I think that [media professionals] feel ciated with challenging the popular perception of margin- as if it comes down to “worthy” and “unworthy” victims. alized populations. But in the last year, the recipient of the And I think that when it comes down to, specifically, trans 2012 Sylvia Rivera Activist Award has harnessed her media women of color, we already have the fact that we’re trans, savvy and her passion for change to become a powerful, and also that we’re of color, and then a lot of the times the yet humble, voice for the trans community. sex worker element, [which] is something that our society When the 29-year-old activist isn’t touring the country just devalues period, so it’s as if we brought that [violence] on speaking gigs (such as her Nov. 20 engagement at Port- onto ourselves. land State University), recording her podcast, and writing PQ: You talk a lot about changing the narrative of the for various online outlets, Mock develops programming for trans experience in the media. Why is it important and trans youth at the Hetrick-Martin institute in New York. Her what are the challenges inherent in that? memoir, “Fish Food,” is due out in late 2013 or early 2014.

Mock: I feel like we don’t have much of, “What does your But despite these and other achievements, Mock insists life look like now?” We just have: Do you have a compelit’s not about her. When PQ Monthly talked to the young ling before and after story that we can tell? I’d like to see activist just two days after Superstorm Sandy left her and it go beyond transition. That whole “trapped in the wrong nearly 2 million New Yorkers without power, Mock made body” thing drives me crazy. It just feels like it’s the same it clear that her newfound pulpit has a purpose — to uplift story with different characters, a different protagonist in and amplify the voices of girls like her. each story…. [Journalists think] that that’s the only that’s PQ Monthly: Why did you choose to come out when interesting thing about us, the fact that we transition. You

know, my life has been infinitely more interesting after I transitioned…. So I think it’s two fold, it’s the person telling the story and it’s the person giving their story having the agency to say, “No, I don’t want to talk about that that that’s not the only thing that’s interesting about me.”

PQ: You’ve written about unlearning the messages that the media perpetuates about trans folks and I was wondering which have been the most liberating to shed.

Mock: I think the “trapped in the wrong body” was the big one for me… I always knew that I was me — I didn’t know what that meant in the context of gender and all these things growing up and so that was a complicated thing….

Being able to complicate that a little bit and say there are many different steps to get there and not trying to say that if you never knew then you’re not trans [has been liberating].

This “transiness” — there’s no such thing. You just transition or you don’t, or you kind of [do]…. It doesn’t have to just be this one-way ticket road, yellow brick road of transitioning. It just is what it is. Some of us have penises, some of us don’t, and no one should be able to ask about that.

PQ: Tell me about the growth and momentum of #girlslikeus. It seems like it’s taken on a life of its own.

Mock: It wasn’t a campaign, it was a hashtag, and people were hungry for it and that’s why my eyes just opened up like, wow, this is something that is missing....

Right now I just don’t, in my personal life, have the bandwidth to launch anything bigger than what it is on Twitter right now. In terms of raising visibility, I would like to create a website — I’d like to create some nonprofit arm of it. But I don’t know what that’s going to look like yet and I need to give myself the time to expand that and learn what needs to be done out there [and] where the gaps are. I do think that we do need more “for us, by us” organizations. We need more trans-created organizations, instead of trying to be inclusive within the LGBT movement, because I don’t think that that’s necessarily working to our greatest advantage.

PQ: What does Trans Day of Remembrance mean to you?

Mock: I would like to take it away from celebrating our fallen. I think it’s very dangerous to constantly talk about death. It becomes something we come to expect. All of us are going to die, but I think that the early death sentence for trans women of color specifically is something we already know, and so to constantly talk about death, I think it chips away at us a little bit. And so Trans Day of Remembrance is … a day to pause a little bit, and, I hope, to remember our struggles but also celebrate the triumphs we’ve made in the past year, because there have been [triumphs].

Read the full interview at pqmonthly.com. Learn more about Janet Mock at janetmock.com.

TRANS AWARENESS WEEK AND TRANS DAY OF REMEMBRANCE NOV. 17 AND 18 TransConnect Resource Fair Q Center (4115 N. Mississippi Ave., Portland) 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturday; 2 p.m.-3:30 p.m. Sunday, sliding scale donation (no one turned away), all ages Includes resources, workshops, an art show, a play, and a film screening (“Trans” on Sunday). For more information, email pdxtransconnect@gmail.com. pqmonthly.com

NOV. 20 Transgender Day of Remembrance Presentation with Janet Mock Portland State University’s Smith Memorial Student Union (1825 SW Broadway) 6 p.m.-7 p.m., $5-$8 sliding scale (no one turned away), all ages For more information or to reserve tickets, email psutrans@pdx.edu.

NOV. 20 Trans Day of Remembrance Mass of Healing Metropolitan Community Church (2400 NE Broadway) 6:45 p.m. doors, 7:30 p.m. service, free, all ages P r e s ent e d by t hePor t l a nd Si s t er s of Per p e t u a l Indu lgence, i n col laborat ion w it h Q Center a nd Basic Rights Oregon. For more information, email theveganmary@gmail.com.

November/December 2012 •

FEATURES

AIM LOCAL THIS HOLIDAY SEASON Close-to-home queer businesses depend on your dollars

By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

Many local queer-owned businesses live or die by the holiday season. The National Retail Federation forecasts that the 2012 holiday shopping season will account for about $586 billion dollars in domestic sales. While most of this money goes to big-box stores and online retailers, local queer-owned businesses depend on this increase in consumer activity urgently each year.

CRUSH bar wants you to come in from the cold (above). ReBelle’s lures customers with oneof-a-kind wearable art (right).

“From October to December is a huge percentage of our yearly sales — nearly a third comes from December alone,” explains Tausha Lell, proprietress of Portland’s eclectic SE Division Street vintage shop ReBelle’s. Having spent 16 years in retail management, Lell observes that economic factors have shortened the holiday season down, increasing the necessity of strong end-of-year sales.

“It used to be that holiday shopping started in October,” she recalls. “When the economy started faltering, there was a dramatic increase of last-minute shoppers. Now, December is the month that pulls us out of the red for the year. With the economy as it is, there’s a lot of pressure on December for business owners.”

Hayley Rollins, manager of Archibald Sisters on NW 21st, feels the impact similarly. “We probably did at least half of our business for the entire year during the holiday season,” she says. “It’s usually doesn’t start on Black Friday, like it does for the big box retailers — it’s the week after Thanksgiving.”

The first expansion of a beloved Olympia, Wash., institution, Archibald Sisters more than lives up to its slogan of “expect eclectic.” The shop specializes in custom-blended signature lotions, bath products, and fragrances for men and women; alongside the signature scents are a huge variety of fun, funny little gifts at a wide variety of price points. However, Rollins notes that part of her recently-opened store’s challenge this season is getting their name out and customers in.

“We’re in a bit of a learning curve right now with this new store, she says, “because it’s a new location, with new customers. People don’t really know what we’re about yet.”

To facilitate this in a grassroots way, Archibald Sisters has launched advertising in local print and social media and looked into local buyers incentives programs like Supportland to entice customers.

“I find that the intimacy of the holidays invites some unique opportunities for wooing shoppers into the town,” Lell says of ReBelle’s holiday sales strategy. “A lot of people 10 • November/December 2012

will shop at big conglomerate stores that offer everything for their necessities all year. When holidays come up, you want personalized gifts and a fun shopping experience.

This is what little mom-and-pop stores provide — artisan jewelry, unique gifts, something special for them and fun for you while you find it.”

The impeccably well-curated shop on SE Division specializes in vintage fashion, housewares, and collectables alongside art and jewelry from independent artisans all over the nation. For this season, ReBelle’s is targeting the masculine side of your list.

“We’re focusing on men’s vintage a lot more, although we have some astounding collections of women’s vintage. We’ve also expanded with tons of new wearable artwork. Zachary Pryor’s jewelry line Rain City Forge is our latest designer, offering one-ofa-kind modern hand-forged silver, copper, and brass jewelry in both masculine and feminine looks.”

Lell also understands that tipsy customers are a good sort to have — so she endeavors for ReBelle’s to be particularly inviting to folks during the holidays with a touch of booze. “I’m getting ready to have a party, offering champagne cordials for shoppers,” she says.

On the subject of drinks, bars and restaurants also feel a significant impact during the holiday season, both economically and socially.

“The holiday season changes everything,” says Woody Clarke, owner of Crush Bar on SE Morrison. “The season is usually pretty good for us, but we start becoming dependent upon big groups — five or six people go to a family gathering and then end up coming to Crush last-minute, without warning. At the same time, there are not as many people coming in on their own, or on a date, and instead doing things as groups. It’s actually quite stressful, because we never know how to plan.”

Even if the uncertainty of the crowds can be unsettling, Clarke finds that Crush’s customer base is generally in the holiday spirit during November and December.

“People tend to be in pretty good moods during the holidays, even if they’re sarcastically hating on them,” he notes.

“They have a few extra days off work. People who come into Crush tend to not overwhelm themselves too much over the holidays — they’re less likely to have large families that take a lot of maneuvering. If I go home to Utah, everyone’s crazed because everyone has six or seven kids. Here, it’s a lot more relaxed, particularly with inner-Southeast Portland queer types.”

“One thing I especially like is that we get a lot of people from out-of-town,” he adds, “and people that we really only see once a year. They’re coming to visit family, and came in last year and enjoyed the space, so they come in again after their gatherings.”

As intense as the holidays can be, they’re vastly less troubling than the months that follow. “I enjoy the season and look forward to it, even though it’s more stressful than the rest of the year,” Clarke says. “The thing I don’t look forward to is January! All of our business falls off in January — it kicks off two extremely slow, hard-to-get-through HOLIDAY DOLLARS page 16

GIVE A LITTLE BIT OF YOUR LOVE — TO ONE OF THESE WORTHY NONPROFITS

By Daniel Borgen PQ Monthly

As we all know, the holiday season isn’t all about presents. (Although those are kind of nice!) And it certainly isn’t always about buying things — although, if you do, we implore you to shop and support local. There are plenty of crafty, heartfelt ways to show loved ones you care. (Supporting local organizations that support us is a good start.)

Anyway, to kick start — and hopefully inspire — our community in the donation department (maybe money, maybe time), we’re offering our first annual nonprofit giving guide. And don’t you fret, we’ll be expanding our guide online, so add our blog to your favorites and stay up to date on all the hippest places you can make an important difference this time of year. In the interim, here are a handful of spots that could use a few good queers. There are many, many in our community who remain in need. And there’s surely something below that’ll tug at your heartstrings.

BASIC RIGHTS OREGON: This is a no-brainer, right?

We’re still smarting from our big marriage equality wins, and BRO has already started work for a possible win in Oregon for 2014. Overturning a constitutional amendment (as is the case in our state) is a formidable challenge, though, and BRO can use all the help they can get. Consider donating some cash to their efforts — or better yet, some time. There are still hearts and minds to win, dear readers.

(Plus, BRO remains our region’s trans rights champion.) Go here: basicrights.org.

OUR HOUSE/ESTHER’S PANTRY/TOD’S CORNER: Since 1988, this Portland staple has been providing healthcare, housing, and other vital services to low-income people living with HIV/AIDS. Their teams — expert clinicians — work with those in our community with advanced HIV/ AIDS who struggle to live independently. They offer everything from regular in-home visits to 24-hour residential nursing services. Two specific Our House programs — Esther’s Pantry and Tod’s Corner — provide some of the most vulnerable in our community with food, clothing, and household goods. Big-time needs during the cold winter months. For more: ourhouseofportland.org.

OUTSIDE IN: This dynamic, transformative nonprofit works to help homeless youth and other marginalized people “move toward improved health and self-sufficiency.”

This year, Outside In has set a goal to make sure every homeless youth there receives a holiday gift. They’ve already got the wish list set up — and they even wrap the gifts for you.

Call Breanna Romer at 503-535-3840 to help. Additionally, a sidebar regarding financial gifts: $35 means two youth attend weekly support groups for a month; $50 pays for a homeless youth to see a doctor; $70 helps someone get a job and job retention training; $300 feeds 25 homeless youth for an entire month. A little goes a long way, indeed.

Check it: www.outsidein.org.

RAPHAEL HOUSE: Committed to ending intimate partner violence for good, Raphael House serves people from a variety of backgrounds, ages, and sexual orientations. They offer emergency shelter in confidential locations, provide a round-the-clock in-house crisis line, transitional housing — and much, much more. The holiday season can be a very lonely, hopeless time for those in domestic violence situations. But you can help: raphaelhouse.com.

BRADLEY ANGLE: The first-ever domestic violence shelter on the West Coast, Bradley Angle also provides a 24-hour crisis line, transitional housing, and various support groups.

Additionally, their vital services include support for LGBTQ survivors, an economic empowerment program, and culturally-specific programming for African and African-American GIVING page 13

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November/December 2012 • 11

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FEATURES

GIVING Continued from page 10

survivors. Consider a financial donation: bradleyangle. org.

CASCADE AIDS PROJECT: It’s never too early to start soliciting donations for AIDS Walk 2013.

W hy not ask family and loved ones to pledge a gift to you for your next walk? ( May be you’l l help set another record.) There’s also the Art Auction fastapproaching, and myriad volunteer opportunities if you’d like to give some time. And remember, over 80 percent of donations go directly to v ita l programs and services. Check this out: cascadeaids.org/ donate-or-volunteer. (The link includes information about where exactly your time and money goes.)

Q CENTER : Q Center is our city’s de facto queer center. Their mission: “To provide a safe space to support and celebrate LGBTQ diversity, visibility, and community building.” Their focus: arts/culture, education and training, health and wellness, and advocacy. And Q is always in need of volunteers — so if time is what you have to spare, consider sparing it.

Programs we consider especially important: SMYRC, the city’s most important queer resource center, and E.R.A., Q’s newest program helping queer seniors. Learn more about donating and volunteering at pdxqcenter.org.

PRIDE NW: June’s Pride festivities don’t pay for themselves with magical gay monies falling from the sky. Planning for 2013 is well underway, and Pride NW can use some sweet cash and even sweeter volunteers.

Their mission, if you choose to support it: to encourage and celebrate the positive diversity of the LGBTQ community, via showcases that celebrate our shared history, talent, and accomplishments. pridenw.org.

Ha v e i d e a s a b o u t a worthy nonprofit? Email Daniel@PQMonthly.com and we’ll include it in our blog updates, which, as always, will have all the latest on nonprofit events and related fundraisers.

Happy giving! pqmonthly.com

‘IT ALL COMES DOWN TO DIRT’ Justin Paul Russell brings passion and transparency to pinot

Justin Paul Russell, who stands among a row of pinot noir vines that gave fruit to Jasper Sisco, says he became obsessed with selecting the areas of Momtazi Vineyard from which to source.

By Andrew Edwards PQ Monthly

It’s a foggy morning in McMinnville, Ore., one of the coldest yet this year, and Justin Paul Russell is elbow-deep in grapes. Wrapping up harvest for the inaugural 2012 vintage of his wine label, Jasper Sisco, he’s focused on monitoring the progress and state of the grapes, just two weeks off the vine.

Today it’s “punchdowns,” or pushing down the grape skins and stems that collect atop the vats of newly fermenting juice — which will soon become pinot noir — so as to prevent them from drying out and developing bacteria.

After scrubbing his forearms, he takes me on a tour of Momtazi Vineyard, his wine’s source. The grapevines are vibrant gold, and the October air is sweet with the smell of fermenting fruit.

Russell muses, “There are corners of the vineyard that speak to me in ways I can’t really explain.”

Mud cakes our boots — marine sedimentary loam, Russell points out, and some Jory soil. “It all comes down to dirt,” he says. “The fruit is a direct reflection of it.”

This idea is what’s known as “terroir,” a concept any winemaker worth his silt takes directly to heart. Derived from the French word for “land,” it signifies the natural environmental factors — particularly soil, topography, and climate — that contribute to a particular wine’s flavor and makeup.

“There are things in wine that are inexplicable but also inherent,” Russell explains. “When it’s a good wine, you know exactly where you are.”

Thus, his use of the pinot noir grape, which he says is clearly demonstrative of place. “I think

it’s transparent, which is the whole vision for Jasper Sisco.”

Russell’s use of the crowd-funding site Indiegogo, through which he raised $3,645 to pay for production, was also part of that vision. “In helping to fund [Jasper Sisco], you are allowing a portion of the land to speak,” he writes on the campaign’s website.

Russell also believes in keeping the doors of the winery open to allow people to ask questions and be part of the process. “This brand is also all about family — both biological and chosen,” he says, “which is a concept our community understands really well.”

Originally from Abingdon, Va., Russell grew up in a three-bedroom house with his mother, two grandparents, an aunt, and two cousins.

“Growing our own food wasn’t anything new or unusual for us,” he recalls. “We weren’t on the edge of some new frontier — we were just a family trying to survive.”

Jasper Sisco was, in fact, his great-grandfather, a sharecropper from Virginia who took pride in where he was from. “He worked hard to be a vital part of his community,” Russell explains. “Place was essential for him.”

Russell, it seems, inherited this trait. “Making wine has given me a lot more respect for the process,” the certified sommelier says. “It’s not a scholarly pursuit anymore. It’s a direct relation to place. That’s what I search for.”

After a series of relocations that spanned both coastlines, he eventually fell in as a wine buyer at Whole Foods in Birmingham, Ala., and a fire was sparked. “I immersed myself in wine culture,” he says. “I spent day and night trying to learn.”

In 2009, the job brought him to Oregon for the

Photos by Andrew Edwards, PQ Monthly

first time. “I fell in love with Portland and wine country,” Russell recalls.

In the next year he returned to Oregon three times, and in 2010 he worked harvest for the first time at Momtazi Vineyard. He met Tahmiene Momtazi, winemaker at Maysara Winery (the Momtazis’ label), an experience he describes as “kismet,” a Persian word for destiny. “We knew we were meant to be in each other’s lives in some capacity,” he says.

The land’s biodynamic certification was also a draw for Russell. “In simple terms, it means no outside inputs are used,” he explains. “Everything that’s used comes from the farm and goes back to the farm.” That includes native herbs, minerals, and fertilizers being applied to the plants and soils following an internationally certified set of regulations.

“It’s a respect for the land and for future generations,” he says. “What we eat and drink is the only thing we purchase that becomes a direct part of our body. The way we produce and consume it is central to the way we function. … What I feel like more than anything is a steward. I want to continue this tradition of stewardship for the land that’s been in my family for generations.”

In reflecting on his first season as a winemaker, Russell is most grateful to the people who’ve helped him get here. “Portland has a built-in support system,” he says. “I’ve seen a willingness to go above and beyond to make sure [Jasper Sisco] gets off the ground.”

He recalls a piece of advice from Jim Prosser, winemaker at J.K. Carriere Wines in Newberg: “You only get 30 vintages in your life so you have to make each one count.” To that end, Russell plans to produce a Momtazi-grown Riesling and a tempranillo from the Rogue Valley soon. He also intends to run an urban winery here in Portland, the city he says has helped make his dream of winemaking a reality.

Beyond that, he is only certain of one thing: “I have no doubt that this is the beginning of what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life.”

November/December 2012 • 13

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manager Rain Rezendes, who has been with the company for five years, “is being able to provide a healthy solution for mattresses and The bedroom is often one of the most bedding, using locally-made handcrafted private spaces of a home. For local queer- items made of natural, organic materials.” owned mattress company Cotton Cloud The company’s commitment to nontoxic Futons, though, materials sets them apart in the mattress the bedroom is industry. “Back when I first started working also a center of here,” Rezendes says, “I don’t think people politics, ecology, realized how many flame retardants and and community chemicals are in mattresses. There’s now a — and for over 30 law … that requires all manufacturers to treat years their hand- their mattresses with flame retardants. One made futons and of the cool things we found was that wool is mattresses have naturally flame-retardant; by using natural helped Portland- wool, we don’t need to treat our mattresses ers express this or futons with chemical retardants. I think sensibility in the that’s one of the beauties of living in a place place where they like Portland; people are very progressive, intelligent in that they research the compaCotton Cloud Futons owner Terri Treat sleep. “ I s t a r t e d nies they do business with, and informed Cotton Cloud Futons in 1981 when I was 17 about health choices. The market has shifted years old,” owner and founder Terri Treat towards people being more aware and consays. “[It has] always been a labor of love. scious, which is a beautiful thing.”

Ever since I can remember, I have had a Just as many Portlanders are committed very close connection to nature, and a deep to Cotton Cloud, the company is commitrespect for the planet with which we’ve all ted to their local and domestic community. been entrusted. By chance, I took a class on “We are one of very few companies who futon-making, and from that moment on, have recently added manufacturing jobs it was clear to me that making for our fellow Portlanders — beds out of cotton provided we don’t outsource,” Rezendes the perfect synergy of art, notes. “It’s important in this craft, and mindfulness for the day and age. We produce and Earth.” handcraft our futons and matIn her farmhouse, Treat tresses in Portland.” built each of her mattresses by Rezendes also points out hand, making covers on a treathat, rather than using cotton dle sewing machine. imported from overseas, “The whole experience was Cotton Cloud uses domestivery zen,” she says, “and it cally-sourced materials as part gave me the chance to brainof their commitment to local storm and try different combiagriculture and economies. nations of materials and con“We work with the Texas Costruction methods.”

Operative, which provides us A handmade Cotton Cloud mattress “My initial clients were my with organic cotton. It’s one of family and friends,” she says of her early the few places that provide organic-certified customer base. “Soon my neighbor, who cotton in the U.S.,” Rezendes says. “It also was a wood-worker, built Cotton Cloud’s helps to reduce the carbon footprint by not first tri-fold frame. I sold the frames and having things shipped in from overseas.” futons at Portland’s Saturday Market, my As successful and expansive as the primary source of advertising, for two years. company has grown, for Treat it is still an In those days, I delivered each mattress endeavor of love and passion. “Cotton Cloud myself, on the city bus!” has grown up here … and I’m so thankful for Soon, Cotton Cloud’s business expanded the local community of friends, family, cusso much that she needed a more permanent tomers, and artisans who have helped us space — and after occupying several on the thrive all these years,” she says. “I’m proud to Portland’s eastside, Cotton Cloud found its say that Cotton Cloud Futons strives to work current home on NE Broadway. in synergy with our earth by selling comfort“Through all these changes,” she notes, able, functional, affordable futons, furniture, “one thing remains the same: all Cotton and accessories. We consciously emphasize Cloud futons are still made by hand, with an products that are made of natural materials, emphasis on natural materials and atten- with renewable resources that are harvested tion to detail. My commitment to the planet in sustainable ways. I look forward to conand my close connection to my community tinuing this work, and making these connecare still as strong as ever.” tions, for many years to come.”

The community that has formed around Treat’s endeavor shares her commitment Cotton Cloud Futons is located at 701 and passion to high-quality natural furni- NE Broadway in Portland. For more inforture. “The number-one thing I enjoy about mation, call 503-335-0758 or go to cottonworking at Cotton Cloud,” explains store cloudfutons.com. pqmonthly.com PQ Monthly

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503.228.3139 •PQMONTHLY.COM November/December 2012 • 15

FEATURES

HOLIDAY THRIVE GUIDE PQ Monthly

The holiday season can be the most wonderful time of the year — or it can be a stressful, overwhelming experience of isolation and frustration. PQ consulted a few of our community’s queer elders to get their uncommon wisdom about how to stay healthy and whole during the winter months, and to share how they turn the holiday season into a time of transformation and healing. Have more holiday survival tips? Head over to PQMonthly. com and share your suggestions for having your best holiday season yet.

FIND PEACE WITH THE SEASON Rather than fighting against the cold and darkness of the season, accept it for what it is and heed the winter’s call to turn inward. “For me, it does get darker and heavier in the dark of winter,” Postman notes. “I find ways to try and rise above it, or kind of embrace it and know that it’s the dark time and that’s okay — the shadow time has a lot of power. You don’t have to push it away. There’s a lot of beauty in the darkness. I try to see that and remember it.”

FIND PEACE WITH OTHERS Faircy sees the winter holidays as a time in which we can transform our relationships. “Many of us are concerned about spending time with family members or others with whom our relationship is historically tense, stressful, or full of judgment and conflict,” he explains. “Oftentimes these relationships are the way they are because we get into old cycles of reactive behavior that only serve to perpetuate the tension, and we are the ones who end up suffering. Remember that you always have control over your emotions and you have the power to choose how you want to react. If you would like to read a great book on this topic, I recommend ‘The Anatomy of Peace’ by the Arbinger Institute. It’s an easy, enjoyable read that points out how conflict escalates, and how by choosing to be ‘heart at peace’ about the other party, you can change the whole dynamic of your interactions.

I have heard from numerous people how the ideas suggested in this book have dramatically improved their relationships.”

ReBelle’s, 3611 SE Division St.; 337-654-0293, rebellespdx.com. Archibald Sisters, 518 NW 21st Ave.; 971279-4384, archibaldsister. com. Crush Bar, 1400 SE Morrison St.; 503-235-8150, CrushBar.com. All of these businesses are in Portland, but we’d love to hear from our readers about their favorite local haunts throughout the Pacific Northwest. Chime in on Facebook or comment on pqmonthly.com.

mood, get your mind off holiday stresses — and burn the calories from your holiday indulgences. Artist and gardener Stevee Postman uses the holiday season as a reminder to keep his yoga practice strong. “It brings my body heat up,” he explains, “and helps me move through the season well.”

Zee particularly recommends group exercise (such as her Authentic Movement workshops and groups) as a means of enjoying both physical activity and community. “It helps me realize that we’re all in this together,” she notes. “The holidays come with a huge momentum, and as soon as I realize that we’re all spinning and moving in this momentum together, it helps me be at peace.”

SAY ‘NO’ “Sometimes, when the expectations of the holidays come in, we need to pause and see if we really want to make a different choice,” Zee explains.

“This is very empowering, and it keeps you from feeling like you’re just being moved along by the momentum of things outside yourself. Whenever we make small steps towards our ideals, we feel better. We’re all working towards our own empowerment, and when the holidays come, we get the opportunity to practice saying no to things that we don’t really want to put our time into.”

“My son invited me home for Thanksgiving,” Zee gives as an example.

“My partner and I were going to go, but when I looked at the real flow chart of what that would do to and for me, I realized it would really stress me out.

So, I wrote and told him: ‘No, I won’t come now, but I’ll come and see you on a low-impact four-day weekend later.’”

Stevee Postman (above) and Jean Fogel Zee (right) turn holiday stress into healing and joy.

CARE FOR YOURSELF Dancer and Authentic Movement instructor Jean Fogel Zee sees the holidays as both a time of celebration and a critical season for cultivating equilibrium and self-care. “If you’re going to party and indulge, have something set up as a safety net — ease yourself out of it the next day and pamper yourself,” she notes. “Take the time you need to recover! Don’t overlook the personal time — meditation, eating well, resting. The indulgence is there, and don’t feel guilty about participating in it.

Just take care of yourself! It’s a radical thing to do.”

BIND TOGETHER For Wayne Miya, executive director of Our House, the holidays are a vivid reminder of the power of community. “The people that we serve [at Our House] are people that have advanced AIDS, and many of the folks in our facilities are not connected to our families very much; some of them don’t have that many friends as well. What happens during the holidays is that we try, as an Our House family, to make it as comfortable for them as possible. We decorate the facilities, and bring in people like the Oregon Symphony to do a little concert. There are also people who come in and out — members of choruses, and others who do ad-hoc performances, and others that give decorations. As an organization, we give each person an individual gift that they asked for, and as often as possible we get groups together to ensure that they can do the sort of celebrations they want for the holidays.” By coming together as a community of residents, clients, staff, and volunteers, Our House creates a joyous atmosphere in the middle of what could be a lonely and stressful time.

For those who are dealing with serious concerns during the holiday season, it’s important to reach out into your support system. “When things get tough, ask for help,” says Tommy Faircy of Satchitananda Life Coaching.

“Engage your support systems, whether that’s a trusted friend, a life coach, a therapist, your mother — you don’t need to go through it alone.”

MOVE Exercise is proven to boost your endorphin levels, improve your 16 • November/December 2012

Continued from page 10

months. We have to do really well in December to make it through. This is common for anyone who sells anything.”

For those who enjoy having a thriving queerowned economy in Portland, ensuring its survival comes down to supporting queer establishments with your money and patronage.

“Drink more!” Clarke commands. “Come in! Book a private party! Book holiday parties or catering!”

Like Clarke, Lell views the holiday shopping season as a time in which the queer community can demonstrate its cohesiveness and strength as a spending bloc to support local, independent companies like hers.

“Frankly, staying away from big box stores is a big part of it,” she insists.

“Queer or straight, we have to keep the middle class in this economy going — and that’s what we are. I’m a big proponent of shopping at queer-owned and femaleowned businesses because they need the community’s support the most. If you want there to be such stores, keep your money local, and focus your shopping within your local community, because this is a crucial time of year. Some people will actually do so badly, and struggle so hard, that if Christmas doesn’t pull them out, they’re screwed — they’re closed within two months. It’s a very big deal for independent retailers.”

“And finally,” she concludes with a laugh, “donating wine to your queerowned businesses is a good idea too. That’s a great way to support us!”

Uncommon wisdom for healing and growing in winter

By Nick Mattos

HOLIDAY DOLLARS

MAKE YOUR OWN RITUALS Rather than going along with the standard observances of the holidays, think about creating your own traditions and rituals — whether personal or communal — that embody your sense of the season. “As far as personal ritual, I do try to tune in to what’s going on,” Postman says. “I like to have candles burning when it gets dark at 3:30 or 4; it feels nice to have candles burning in my space. I have a personal chanting practice that I like to do as well that helps move me through.” Postman also has a tradition of making huge pots of soup that he shares with friends and family in informal gatherings as a commemoration of the holiday season as a time of coming together.

pqmonthly.com

PRIDE OF THE BIG SKY

FEATURES

Sherri Murrell provides more than wins at PSU

By Shaley Howard PQ Monthly

Sherri Murrell, like many Portland State University coaches before her, agreed in 2009 to include a portrait of her family in PSU’s women’s basketball annual media

Sherri Murrel calls the shots from the sidelines — and the park bench. guide. The photo of Sherri, her partner Rena, and their twins, Halle and Rylan, served as Sherri’s public coming out. To this day, she is still the only out lesbian coach in the Division 1 NCAA. Now in her sixth year as head coach for the PSU women’s basketball team, Sherri has not only raised the bar — or, more appropriately, the rim — in the game of basketball, with one of the most successful Division 1 NCA A five-year records at PSU, she also exemplifies to her players and community what it means to live life with integrity, embrace diversity, and work hard to achieve goals.

A basketball player most of her life and coach for the last 20 years, Sherri’s been no stranger to homophobia in sports.

“I think growing up in sports and seeing firsthand the suppression of not being accepted if you’re gay was very hard to deal with,” she says. “There were not a lot of people you could identify with or talk to about it. The players and coaches who were gay were hiding deep in the closet.

I grew up with believing that’s how it is in this culture. When I broke away from that, it was one of the best things I could have ever done in my life.”

Through merely living her life openly and honestly, Sherri has become a change agent and role model for the gay and straight community. She’s opened the door and empowered others to come out or speak out against homophobia. pqmonthly.com

“People are talking about the subject of homophobia in the sports arena, which is a good thing,” Sherri says of the significant changes she’s observed in the last five years. “I believe the more straight allies that come forth and support ways to eliminate homophobia in sports, the more you will see athletes and coaches coming out.

Eventually this will not be a big deal anymore.”

Indeed, Sherri’s coming out illuminated that, overall, the younger generation seems more open and accepting of people’s sexual orientation and gender identity.

“To be honest, kids don’t really care about this issue,” she says. “They just want to know if you’re a good person and you can coach.”

Clearly, Sherri can coach. In 2012, she was named Big Sky Conference coach of the year, led the Vikings to a Big Sky Conference Title, and received PSU women’s basketball’s first ever invitation to an NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament.

She has high expectations for her current lineup, as well.

“I really like our team this year,” Sherri says. “We have a good group of young ladies with talented players in each position. I believe if we can stay healthy, we could do another run for the championship and d a n c e , b a b y, Photo by Brittany Stewart dance!”

Sherri, who recently joined the board of directors of the Equity Foundation and plans to travel to rural Oregon to speak on behalf of the Safe Schools initiative, is not only a role model for the queer community, but also someone who clearly prides herself on teaching her players values such as honesty, integrity, personal responsibility, and working together — and she could use some community support to back up her efforts.

“We have increased attendance greatly and our financial support through boosters has been great,” Sherri says. “However, there are so many people in Portland who haven’t yet attended a game. If you have a daughter, if you play sports, if you’re an advocate for women’s athletics, etc., then I can’t see why you wouldn’t come out and support these ladies. It’s fun and exciting basketball.”

See Sherri Murrell and her players in action by buying tickets to an upcoming PSU women’s basketball game at www.goviks.com.

November/December 2012 • 17

FEATURES

Happy Birthday, Darcelle!

Sunday, November 18, 5-8pm Linnton Community Center, 10614 NW St. Helens Rd. Portland, OR 97231 The Linnton Community Center and PQ Monthly are throwing Darcelle a birthday party and YOU are invited!

• $5 donation to Camp Starlight gets you into the party • Raffle tickets will be for sale for a 50-50 for the Linnton Community Center

Linnton Community Center

Novedades Prado Linnton Community Center MONTHLY

Facebook

OLD WIVES’ TALES Celebrating Dining Diversity Vegans! Flexitarians! Omnivores!

1300 East Burnside Portland, OR 97214 HOURS: Sun-Thu 8am-8pm • Fri-Sat 8am-9pm

503-238-0470 OldWivesTalesRestaurant.com 18 • November/December 2012

pqmonthly.com

CALENDAR

GET OUT!

Want the full scoop? Head over to pqmonthly.com to check out the full calendar of events, submit your own events, and look through photos from parties around town!

compiled by aimee Genter-Gilmore

SuNday, November 18 Blas Falconer reads from his new book of poetry, The Foundling Wheel, 5-6:30 p.m., The Blue Monk, 3341 SE Belmont, free, blasfalconer.com.

Superstar Divas Megashow.

Honey Bea Hart, Bolivia Carmichaels, and Ginger Lee bring you diva realness. 8 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis, 21+, no cover, ccslaughterspdx.com/divas.

(Recurs weekly on Sundays.) moNday, November 19 Gay Skate, sponsored by Sock Dreams and the Rose City Rollers. Lace ‘em up and skate it out. 7-9 p.m., Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way, all ages, $6 admission. thurSday, November 22 Gay & Grey 4th Thursday Social. 4 p.m., Starky’s, 2913 SE Stark.

Saturday, November 24 QPoP! (Queer Parents of Portland). 10 a.m.-Noon, Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi.

SuNday, November 25 Connie & Jonny present the Annual Holiday Show, hosted

by FabuLanzaa and Daphne Bertha Storm! 7-9 p.m., Southside Speakeasy, 3529 Fairview Industrial Drive Southeast, Salem, 21+, $5.

CC BY 2.0, Herb Neufeld

PQPickS

tueSday, November 27 BRUCE: A musical celebration of Bruce Springsteen, features performances by Peter

1

t 0DUPCFS /oWFNCFS pqmonthly.com

Julie Cortez

Who will you meet at Gay Skate?

Ames Carlin, Corin Tucker, and Storm Large (to name a few). 8 p.m., Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 21+, $8-10.

Saturday, december 1 CAP presents a Red Ribbon Party for World AIDS Day! Featuring Drag Queen Bingo with Bolivia Carmichaels, come prepared to party ... and give.

7 p.m., Hotel Monaco, 506 SW Washington, 21+, free.

SuNday, december 2 TransActive presents SuperHeroes for SuperKids, a fundraising community event with speakers Wayne Maines and Secretary of State Kate Brown!

3-6 p.m., Refuge PDX, 116 SE Yamhill, all ages, $15, transactiveonline.org.

The ISCWE presents A Very Merry MacChristmas. 7-9 p.m., Southside Speakeasy, 3529 Fairview Industrial Drive Southeast, Salem, 21+, $5. tueSday, december 4 The Border Riders Motorcycle Club holds a meet-andgreet for gay men interested in recreational motorcycle touring. 7-9 p.m., The Eagle Portland, 835 N. Lombard, 21+, borderriders.com. thurSday, december 6 Paper Cowgrrls: a crafting circle for women. 6:30-8:30

SuNday, November 18 H a p p y B i r t h d a y, Darcelle! The Linnton Community Center and PQ are throwing Darcelle a birthday party and you’re invited! 5-8 p.m., Linnton Community center, 10614 NW St. Helens Rd., $5 donation to Camp Starlight gets you into the party!

p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, $5 suggested donation.

HYPE, a night of hip hop performances, dance contests, go-go dancers and hip hop heaven. 9 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis, 21+ no cover.

Friday, december 7 through SuNday, december 9 Bear City 2 Portland Premiere! A “hirsute Sex and the City,” Bear City 2 follows the funny, romantic, and occasionally dramatic adventures of a group of New York City bears and cubs as they head to Provincetown for Bear Week! Director Doug Langway will be in attendance at all screenings.

6:30 & 9:30 p.m. nightly screenings, The Clinton St. Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, $6 general admission, cstpdx.com.

Saturday, december 8 Storytime with Maria. 9:3010:30 a.m., Q Center, 4115 N. Mississippi.L4L.PDX. 5-9 p.m., Embers, 110 NW Broadway, 21+, $5 cover. thurSday, december 13 Ghost Town Poetry Open Mic. 7 p.m., Cover to Cover Books, 6300 NE James Rd #104B, Vancouver.

SuNday, december 16 The Imperial Sovereign Rose Court presents The End of the World: The Prince & Princess Ball honoring Imperial Prince Royale XXXVII Ayden LaCroix and Imperial Princess Royale XLII Adrienne Alexander. 6 p.m., BodyVox, 1201 NW 11th, 21+, $20 general admission, $30 VIP, rosecourt.org. tueSday, december 18 Beary-oke! 9 p.m., Scandals, 1125 SW Stark, 21+, oregonbears.org. thurSday, december 20 PQ December Press Party!

Get the first look at the December/January issue and rub elbows with Portland’s “power gays.” 5-7 p.m., Hip Chicks Do Wine, 4510 SE 23rd, 21+.

Oregon Bears, Inc.

Saturday, November 17 Portland Frontrunners Waterfront Run. Meet underneath the Marquam Bridge on the Esplanade. 9 a.m., SE Main and Water Street, portlandfrontrunners.org. (Recurs weekly on Saturdays) The Oregon Bears present Boxers & Balls, a fundraiser for the HIV Day Center. 9 p.m., AMF Pro 300, 21+, $12 per person, oregonbears.org.

GAYBOY: sexy male “bunnies,” Bolivia Carmichaels, and DJ Robb. 9 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis, 21+.

pqmonthly.com/calendar

daNce it out 1 St SuNdayS BRIDGE ClUB. Keywords: T-dance, “the art crowd.” 3-9 p.m., Produce Row Cafe, 204 SE Oak, 21+.

1 St thurSdayS DIRT BAG w/ DJ Bruce LaBruiser and special guests. Keywords: indie dance pop, electro, house. 10 p.m., The Know, 2026 NE Alberta, 21+, free.

1 St SaturdayS SUGAR TOWn w/ DJ Action Slacks.

Keywords: Soul, polyester. 9 p.m., The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42nd, 21+, $5.

MARICón w/ DJs Moisti, Trans Fat, and iLL Camino. Keywords: homos & homeys. 10 p.m., Eagle Portland, 835 N Lombard, 21+.

2 Nd SuNdayS BEAR PAW BUST. Keywords: Beer, body hair, leather. 4-7 p.m., The Eagle Portland, 835 N Lombard, 21+.

2 Nd thurSdayS I’VE GOT A HOlE In MY SOUl w/ DJ Beyondadoubt. Keywords: soul, shimmy. 9 p.m., Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 21+, $3-5.

3 rd SaturdayS GAYCATIOn w/ DJs Mr. Charming and Snowtiger. Keywords: hot faces, tight places. 9 p.m., Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 21+, $3. nUTTz 2 BUTTz. Keywords: booty shake. 9 p.m., The Eagle Portland, 835 N Lombard, 21+.

4 th SuNdayS G E n D E R A BU n D A n T S QUA R E DAnCE. 7 p.m., The Village Ballroom, 700 NE Dekum, all ages, $7.

4 th thurSdayS TEMPlE w/ DJs Pocketrock-it and Kasio Smashio. Keyword: downtown.

10 p.m., The Matador, 1967 W Burnside, 21+, free.

4 th FridayS HUSTlE. Keywords: performance, hip hop. 7 p.m., Crush, 1412 SE Morrison, 21+, $5.

2 Nd FridayS

TWERK w/ DJs Slutshine and II Trill.

Keywords: old school. 9 p.m., Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK, 21+, free.

GREED w/ DJs Trim Jones and Chicklit. Keyword: hedonism. 9 p.m., Crush, 1412 SE Morrison, 21+, $5.

DOUBlE x DAnCE. Keywords: Bears, scruff, musk. 9 p.m., Embers Avenue, 110 NW Broadway, 21+.

BEnT w/ DJ Roy G. Biv and special guests. Keywords: down-and-dirty. 9 p.m., The Foggy Notion, 3416 N Lombard, 21+, $5.

4 th SaturdayS

2 Nd SaturdayS MRS. w/ DJs Beyondadoubt, Il Camino, and Trans Fat. Keywords: Themes, costumes, photo booth. 10 p.m., Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 21+, $5.

InFERnO w/ DJs Wildfire and D-Zel. Keywords: ladies, ladies, ladies. 6 p.m., JONES, 107 NW Couch, 21+, $8. lURE. Keywords: uniforms, leather, man kink. 9 p.m., The Eagle Portland, 835 N Lombard, 21+, free.

BlOW POnY. Keywords: rowdy, crowdy, sweaty betty. 9 p.m., Branx/ Rotture, 315 SE 3rd, 21+, $5.

3 rd FridayS

LaSt FridayS

HOMODElUxE w/ DJs Roy G Biv and Mr. Charming. Keywords: fancy schmancy, dancey dancey. 10 p.m., Saucebox, 214 SW Broadway, 21+, free.

APOCAlYSP! w/ DJ Weinerslav. Keywords: punk rock fags, dirty rock. 9 p.m., The Foggy Notion, 3416 N Lombard, 21+, free.

SuNday, december 2

2

RUTHlESS w/ DJs Ill Camino and Bruce LaBruiser. Keyword: fierce. 10 p.m., Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK, 21+, $3.

The Oregon Bears Community Holiday Show and live Auction! Featuring Sneakin’ Out, The BEARatones, and the Portland Lesbian Choir. 5:30 p.m., Alberta Rose Theatre, 300 NE Alberta, 21+, $13-24, oregonbears.org.

3

thurSday, december 20 Carla Rossi and Fannie Mae Darling share the mic and host Queer Quistmas, a night of performances of all sorts, a silent auction, and prizes, all to benefit a number of nonprofits around town! 8:00 p.m., Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 21+, $5.

pqmonthly.com November/December 2012 • 19

MONTHLY Thank you, PQ advertisers, for contributing to the LGBTQ voice of the Northwest.

• Archibald Sisters • Armstrong Volkswagen* • Beeman’s Air Conditioning • The Blue Pig Cafe • Basic Rights Oregon • Cascade Aids Project • Causa • Celia Lyon, Principal Broker • Center for Dermatology & Laser Surgery • Chris Gojkovich • Cotton Cloud Futons • Dana Busch, Attorney at Law • David Flynn • Family Dentistry, Dr. Dianne Applegate, DDS • Dignified Pet Services • Donald Falk, Principal Broker • Dr. David Magilke, Portland Laser & Surgery Center • Dr. Don Valerio • Dr. Janice Vaughn • Dr Kimberly DeAlto • Dustin Posner • Elliot Powell Baden & Baker Insurance • Fantasy for Adults Only • First Congregational Church • Gary Boyer, Certified Mortgage Planner • Gevurtz-Menashe • GLBTCOUNSELING.com • H Dwayne Davis, Principal Broker • Hamma Jamma Remodeling, LLC • HAWKS PDX Bathhouse • Hip Chicks do Wine • Hustad Funeral Home • James D. McVittie • Jenny Stoffel Computer Services • Jonathan’s Restaurant • K9 Dental • Kelly Stafford • Kevin Eddy, LMT • Laurelhurst Dentistry • Lithia Subaru of Oregon City • The Law office of John McVea • LUXE Autohaus • Maloy’s Jewelry Workshop

• Maple Star • Mark Creevey, State Farm Insurance • McMenamins • Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams • Mobile West • Morel Inc. • Morning Brewtender • Mr. Peeps Adult Superstores • Multnomah County Health • Music Millennium • My Door Dry Cleaning • Nike • NoPo Paws* • Oregon Health & Science University • Old Wives Tales • OMSI • Portland Area Business Association • Paradise Harley-Davidson • Paradise Video • Partnership Project • Portland Gay Men’s Chorus • Portland Luggage* • Portland Pedal Power • Pravda • Radio Cab • Rainbow Accounting • Redden & Findling, LLP Attorneys At Law • Richard Voss, Principal Broker/ Owner • Rite Aid • Robert Ellestad, LMT • Robert Hogg, Mortgage Broker • Ron Milligan • Rose City Rollers • Rose City Veterinary Hospital • Salem Spirit of Life Church • Salty’s Dog and Cat • Scratch-n-Sniff • Shawn Baeschlin, Sr. Loan Officer • She Bop* • Sock Dreams • Guy Spy • Starky’s • STARS Portland Antiques Malls • Steam Portland • Steve Strode • Susan Rosenthall, MSW • Suzanne Scopes, ND • Taboo Video* • Tim Bias, Farmers Insurance • Tommy Faricy • Vision 162 • Love Art Gallery • Portland Saturday Market • Maui Sunseeker Resort

*Can you find the product placement in the photo for all the asterisked companies?

20 • November/December 2012

pqmonthly.com

That’s my face

On behalf of the entire Brilliant Media team, we would like to give thanks to all of our readers, community-based organizations, and advertisers for your support! We know there’s a lot of shopping to be done between now and the New Year, and we encourage you to support the advertisers listed on this page and found in each edition of PQ Monthly.

Thank you for helping PQ Monthly pursue our mission of “Every Letter and Every Color, Represented.”

Happy Holidays, from all of us! pqmonthly.com

MONTHLY

November/December 2012 • 21

THE COMEBACK KID HOW TO DATE YOUR DOPPELGANGER

By Andrew Edwards PQ Monthly

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www.LegacyPreservationLaw.com

“Are y’all twins?”

Adam and I are browsing gossip rags (actually, that’s just me — he’s at the other end of the shelf flipping through Popular Science) at Hudson News when we hear the voice drawl from behind us. We exchange brief “here-we-go-again” glances before turning to the grandmotherly woman behind the checkstand.

“No ma’am,” I reply using my best goodol’-Southern-boy impression.

Unconvinced, she persists. “Well, are y’all kin in any way?” she grins.

“No ma’am. Not even related,” I insist, draping an arm over Adam’s shoulder. We flash the sort of smiles that say, “Do we really have to spell it out for you?” Apparently, here in the Richmond, Va., airport, we do.

“I know!” she yelps. “Do y’all have the same barber?”

To this day, that is the best euphemism for gay sex I’ve ever heard. Having received such inquiries on a startlingly regular basis for the entirety of our relationship, my boyfriend and I can no longer deny: We look a lot alike. I suppose one could accuse us of subconscious narcissism, and I’ll admit these instances can be flattering, as I happen to find my boyfriend exceptionally handsome.

The perks of our physical resemblance can be quite convenient, too (doubled wardrobe, anyone?). But our shared pants size and facial hair patterns only serve to mask the ways in which we are often staunchly different from one another.

Last Pride weekend, Adam left town for a friend’s graduation ceremony. The friend in question was a good one, and she’d just completed her nursing degree. Adam felt compelled to attend; I felt slighted and hurt. “It’s our first Pride together!” I argued. I’d envisioned a weekend of plastic-cup cocktails, lost T-shirts, and famous drag performers (“You’ll miss Sharon Needles! Think of your priorities!”), spent arm-in-arm with the man I was proud to call mine. He insisted, and I pouted all the way to the parade.

When I explained to a fellow Pridegoer why I was celebrating solo, however, he replied, “Sounds like a stand-up guy to me.” In an instant, I recalled the reasons I like my small-town, Southern boyfriend in the first place — he’s a committed friend, someone who is counted on, in one way or another, by everyone who knows him. After my emotion-laden Scorpio brain cooled off, I retracted my stinger and conceded:

I couldn’t have it both ways. I’m proud of his loyalty and support of his friends; I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Four months later, one of Adam’s two housemates moved abroad for work (we miss you, Kevin!), leaving a vacancy to fill in the house they all shared. Ever a pragmatist, Adam asked if I’d like to move in and help out the group. It made sense, he said, and since we’d been together for nearly a year, it seemed the next stop on the trajectory of our relationship. Enter skittish, overanalytical Andrew, right on cue. My reaction wasn’t exactly a freak out — I agreed that we were probably ready to journey into cohabitation land, despite some mild trepidation (read: first-timer nerves). But looking at the scenario in front of me, I felt like a Craigslist-farmed subletter. In my happily-everafter fantasy, shacking up was approached similarly to becoming engaged. I wanted the key to our dream house on the bottom of a champagne glass, dammit! Thankfully for both of us I calmed down and accepted the offer. Now I’m eating home-cooked meals on an almost nightly basis and he’s got someone to provide the wine. We even managed to coordinate our furniture with room to spare.

The sailing thus far has been like glass.

In relationships, we often characterize ourselves by our disagreements, constantly reminding one another of our incompatibilities as reasons why we’re doomed to fail. Among same-sex couples this affliction tends to be magnified. We are more likely to resemble each other physically (sometimes uncannily so) than our straight counterparts are, and we often share similar viewpoints and opinions, at least on grand-scale issues. So, when we discover that our partner’s zodiac sign is opposite ours, or that the way they load the dishwasher is totally backwards, we balk, convinced the discrepancies will tear us apart. I say fuck that.

Personally, I have no interest in dating myself. Not only would it be unbearably boring for a drama-hungry Scorpio like me (just kidding, Adam), but our individualities are a crucial part of our strength.

During his acceptance speech on Election Day, Barack Obama said of our nation: “We are greater than the sum of our individual ambitions.” We may come from distant places and aspire to divergent paths, but the differences do not define us — they enhance us. An when we embrace them we become something more than ourselves.

Something like family.

For the record, Andrew and his doppelgänger have never fought about how to load the dishwasher. Send your favorite euphemisms to andrew@pqmonthly.com.

22 • November/December 2012

pqmonthly.com

ARTS & CULTURE

DI(F)Y GIFTS: QUEER ARTISANS DO IT FOR YOU

By Erin Rook PQ Monthly

There’s nothing better than giving a gift made by hand with love — except, perhaps, when someone else does the making for you. If you don’t have the time (or the talent) to create original works of art for your family members this holiday season, never fear — there is a veritable army of queer artists and artisans working on items full of spirit and spunk destined for your hands.

Still not convinced? A few local queer artisans talk about the inspiration for their work, why you should support your local creative community, and how to put your money where your mouth is.

SARAH DEE DITSON Ditson is a 28-year-old Portlander who sews, knits, works leather, does woodwork, paints signs, takes photos, throws pottery, and more.

(She’s also on the cover of this issue.) Ask her what she’s learned on YouTube lately. Just don’t call her “sweetie.”

“My parents opted to make rather than buy most things around our house, from beds to toys to clothes, so my siblings and I learned from them.

When I was 11, my dad and I built a 31-string folk harp from scratch.

It was an amazing learning experience.”

Get inspired: “I love puzzles and problem-solving. Often my pieces start as a challenge — a friend wants a belt to hold various things while at Sarah Dee Ditson makes apparel and accessories from salvaged materials. a festival, or a shirt I like doesn’t fit right. I get great satisfaction from solving the problem. I am also inspired by salvaged materials; I like letting them take shape into something new. I start to go a little crazy if I’m not creating. It keeps my mind occupied and constantly working on the latest ‘puzzle.’”

Support local: “Buying from local artists is essential to keeping local culture and spirit alive. It also allows more of your hard-earned dollars to go directly back into the local economy, which in turn helps lessen the need for big business to come in and ‘create jobs.’ To know who lovingly made what you’re buying adds a preciousness to it that you just can’t get at Target or Fred Meyer. I think that’s important in a society where everything is so disposable.”

Buy it: Sarah has a shop on etsy (sarahdee.etsy.com), but you can save on shipping by checking out her open studio holiday sale from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m., Nov. 30 at Radius Studios (322 SE Morrison St.) with fellow artisans Korin Noelle and Alex Simon.

BURTON FORD Ford, 40, paints large abstract oil paintings and is currently working on a series of multi-media lightboxes. But people are really into his woodburned pet portraits.

“I did a few portraits as gifts for Christmas and for friends whose pets had recently died,” Ford says.

“Word got around, and everyone knows someone who dotes on their pet, so people started contacting me.”

Get inspired: “I’m inspired by people’s love for their animals. People love to have something on their wall that reminds them of the good times with their kitty or doggie or ferret or ... I’d be excited to do a snake or a frog,” Ford says. “I like paying tribute to these very important relationships.”

Support Local: “It inspires us to keep creating, and it creates community,” Ford says. “Local and well-made things sometimes cost a bit more, but you find a lot of thought and passion have gone into what people make. Handmade stuff lasts longer and Burton Ford uses wood burning to create unique portraits. it carries spirit in it. There is more meaning in it, and it makes our region stronger.”

Buy it: The custom-order nature of Ford’s work means that customers should expected to spend $100-$200 and wait six to eight weeks for delivery. He can be reached with questions and requests at dubmixford@yahoo.com. queer artisans page 34

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE ‘QUEER QUISTMAS’

By Daniel Borgen PQ Monthly

On the one hand, it’s hard to believe Fannie Mae Darling’s “Queer Quistmas” — the fundraising extravaganza that’s

A staple of your holiday diet: Fannie Mae Darling and with a splash of Carla Rossi. something of a local powerhouse, the variety show that showcases oodles of impressive performers — is in its sixth year. pqmonthly.com

Then again, the celebration has become such a staple it’s hard to imagine a holiday season without it. And, this year, Darling is moving the party back to its moreoriginal, most familiar digs, Mississippi Studios — and the do-gooding shindig is slated for Dec. 20.

“I picked Mississippi Studios because something magical happened there two years ago,” Darling explained, “a night that was brilliant and wonderful — that touched everyone who attended. We were moved in our hearts and, for the first time in many years, I actually felt the power of the holiday season.”

Always one-part fundraiser for Darling’s sister (who’s battling cancer) and one-part food and coat drive for local nonprofits, Quistmas hopes to tap into that same magic again.

“Last year we moved to Q Center [and] I decided that this time around, with the recent discovery of yet another tumor in my sister, I would go back to where we — all of us — truly felt the power of giving,” Darling said. “I’m so thankful for the Q Center and Logan Lynn for providing a space last year, but I just thought a move

back to Mississippi would be nice — and give us the extra push we need.”

“The idea to take Queer Quistmas and turn it into a fundraiser happened three years ago when I decided to take the evening’s proceeds and give them to my sister, who had been struggling to make ends meet due to the bills piling up from her operations, checkups, and chemo — everything that comes along with dealing with this terrible disease. She’s in her fifth year — and the cancer has come back twice since the first diagnosis. Our family is still optimistic and helping keep her spirits high. I just feel like I need to do more — I’m her brother, for heaven’s sake.”

This edition brings with it a rather ambitious — but moving — goal for Darling: to kick start a nonprofit. The Darling Kimberly Foundation would, if created, provide money to families affected by the often crippling medical costs associated with battling cancer, not to mention the financial stresses that come with missing work, the subsequent loss of take-home pay — the whole gamut. Darling hopes to raise over $2,000, which he hopes to use to license the nonprofit and, very soon after, get the ball roll-

ing to help families in need.

As in past years, the coat and food drives will be in full effect — benefitting Our House this year — and Darling plans to have a silent auction and a variety of raffle prizes for attendees. And, as added incentive, Darling has brought on Carla Rossi for co-hosting duties. Fannie Mae Darling and Carla Rossi sharing the same stage all night long? That certainly is a holiday blessing. Darling is still assembling the lineup of performances, and plans to keep the complete lineup a surprise until the days leading up to the event.

As someone who’s been to many a Queer Quistmas, I can assure you this isn’t an evening you want to miss. Being entertained by impressive local talent and helping those in need? It all seems like a very Portland way to celebrate the holiday season.

Stay with PQ Monthly online for updates — we’ll have lots more about performers, along with special sneak previews of what the night will hold. Save the date: Dec. 20, 9 p.m., 3939 N Mississippi, $5. More on Our House: www.ourhouseofportland.org.

November/December 2012 • 23

ARTS & CULTURE

A DIFFERENT KIND OF STORY Cheryl Strayed on grief, writing, and the end of homophobia

By Nick Mattos

sess and let go of what no longer serves them in very different ways. One’s a radical environmentalist who’s in legal trouble because she bombed a research facility in central For a writer so familiar with the painful side of life, Cheryl Oregon; another’s an old hippie astrologer who lives on a Strayed laughs very easily. The author of the #1 New York commune.

Times bestseller “Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific I’ve always been interested in writing about people Crest Trail” and “Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and in their moments of being forced to transform. In some Life from Dear Sugar,” Strayed has transformed her perways, that’s what both “Torch” and “Wild” are about also sonal grief into powerful, blazingly honest explorations of — I even say in both of those books, I think, that essenwhat it means to be human. On the occasion of tially the world as I knew it ended the day that the rerelease of her debut novel “Torch,” Strayed my mom died, and I had to figure out who I sat down with PQ Monthly to talk about her prowas in the world without her. The world withcess as a writer, her new novel currently in progout my mom was a very different place for me ress, and why her son practically demanded that than the world I knew with my mom — so who she have a lesbian affair. was I going to be in it?

PQ Monthly: You’re so accomplished in the In some ways, even though there isn’t going worlds of both fiction and nonfiction. How does to be a dead mother in this next book, the ghost your process differ between the two styles? of my dead mother will be in it. Can there be a Cheryl Strayed: W hen I’m writing it, it double ghost? Not the ghost of my mother, the doesn’t feel different. When you’re writing ficghost of my dead mother! (Laughs) Nobody dies tion, you really have to inhabit that human’s in this book, but for each of them, something experience, even if it’s a character you crethat big happens, in which they have to figure ated. I do the same thing in my nonfiction — out what to do next. of course, I’m inhabiting my own experience, PQ: What are your thoughts on the modern but that involves going back to my experience state of queer rights? and re-enacting or reviving what actually hapCS: I think that we’re going to age out of pened, all of the memories. You have to ask, homophobia. I’m 44, and in my lifetime I’ve seen “What did that experience mean? What bearreal change that has happened. I’m so absoing has it had on my life?” lutely furious about these amendments that say I think a lot of times, when people start writmarriage is between one man and one woman ing nonfiction, they think: “I had a terrible thing — that stuff is just horrendous and retrograde, happen to me, and therefore there’s the essay.” but it’s going to die out. In the next generation, You really have to process it! We’ve all had trauwe’re not going to have to mount these batmatic, strange, interesting, funny things happen tles. It’ll be recognized as a basic right that two to us. There’s a difference between that and people who love each other should be able to making literature, and it involves a lot of work. get married, regardless of their gender or sexuSo, writing fiction and nonfiction feels very ality or whatever. In Minnesota, my home state, much the same on the ground level. ... I will they’re trying to go out of their way to make a say, though, that there’s a difference in terms of constitutional amendment that makes gay marwhere I sit in terms of the audience — there’s a riage illegal, and I think that the reason that difference about a character who’s been raped exists is that there’s so much feeling the other and writing about being raped. That difference way — they’re threatened and they’re going to is the author saying: “There’s no screen between be eradicated. We have them cornered! That’s you and I, this really happened.” You reveal yourwhy they’re fighting so hard, because there has self and expose yourself to a greater extent… been a perspective shift.

Right before “Wild” came out, I flipped out My kids are in first and second grade, and and went, “Why the fuck did I write a memoir!? when they were in preschool they had enough Am I insane!?” You’re just asking for it! It’s horfriends that had gay parents that my kids had rible to have your novel condemned by readers no perception that marriage was only between a and reviewers, but to have your memoir conman and a woman. When my son was 4, he was demned is even worse! With a novel, at least, in this big “I love mommy more than anyone” you can say that you don’t like the characters phase — which has been a rather long phase, Photo by Randall Szabo — but with a memoir, I am the character. If you granted — and he got in the car one day and “I’ve always been interested in writing about people in their moments of being forced to transform,” says author Cheryl Strayed. said, “I want two mommies!” I said, “Well, you don’t like that person in the book, you don’t like me! It’s really scary. my wife.” In my writing, I’ve somehow helped them see and have a mommy and a daddy, and that’s pretty cool, too.”

PQ: One thing I notice in your work is that grief is a char- experience what they couldn’t express — something inside He said, “Yeah, well, I want two mommies instead.” I had acter in itself. Does the grief ever surprise you or go in a them that they couldn’t say. I was essentially held in grief’s to sell him on the old chestnut of the heterosexual family! direction you don’t expect? grip as an artist for a long time, and now I’m ready to move Only in Portland does your son demand that you have a lesCS: Up until this point, grief [around losing my mother forward and tell a different kind of story. bian affair, right? So, I had to say no — that I was going to at age 22] has been this thing that I’ve absolutely had to PQ: Do you feel like the novel you’re working on now stay married to their dad for the time being. I guess that’s write through. What was interesting to me in rereading tells that new kind of story? what it is — the struggle for gay rights is a very important “Torch” was that I could see my younger self… and I could CS: It’s so brand-new that I don’t want to curse it, but struggle for me. I don’t think these issues are a side note see how much I still needed to work through and process there are no dead mothers in the book — at least not so for anyone. They’re essential to who we are. my grief and how I was doing that by writing “Torch.” I’d far! (Laughs) The novel is set in Portland, and it’s about characterize [that grief] as my obsession, and I’ve had to these four people for whom the world is ending. By that I “Torch,” “Wild,” and “Tiny Beautiful Things” are available tell that story over and over again. … I think I’ll always mean that each of them are in a place in their lives in which at Powell’s Books and other local independent booksellers. write about that experience of losing my mom, and that they’re being forced to transform, to take stock and reas- For more information, go to CherylStrayed.com.

PQ Monthly

24 • November/December 2012

it’ll come up in all these ways throughout my life and my work as a writer, but I do feel a little bit as though I’ve been released from it.

Now, I’m interested in telling stories that aren’t just about grief — not that my stories are only about grief. One of the most gratifying things is that I sometimes read my work and think, “My god! Just get over it! Why are you grieving so much?” Then I go out and meet readers who say: “Thank you so much, because I lost my brother, or my mother, or

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THE LADY CHRONICLES

SPONSORED BY PQ MONTHLY

This past summer, I experienced an elusive, almost-mythical scenario: a meaningful Grindr connection. Like the platinum palomino (you know, the new guy who doesn’t know half your friends biblically) who rolls into town, this Curtis scenario appeared outof-the-blue, so serendipitous it could be written into a Julia Roberts screenplay — if only she made movies about gay dudes getting romantic. Since our meeting, Curtis and I talk regularly — often, daily. There is one minor glitch in our plans to live happily ever after: he lives in Canada. (Hint: check your cell phone data plan before embarking on an international affair.)

Figuring exactly why we’re carrying on like this is tough — neither of our schedules (or finances) allow for frequent international jetsetting, so we’ve resigned ourselves to scouring our calendars for potential dates down the road and living on, well, hope. Hope our paths will cross again, hope that it’s not entirely crazy to keep this kind of door ajar. And, aside from being the platinum palomino I always longed for, this Curtis fellow has been so damn refreshing to talk to, especially during this past election cycle.

He’s all kinds of calm, collected Canadian, empathetic about my worries, coolly expressing disbelief that the majority of America still resides in the backwoods when it comes to same-sex marriage and health care. It turns out there’s a great big world out there that thinks like we do.

Curtis and I didn’t talk much during election night — I warned him I’d be with friends, likely in a bar, dutifully tending to my nerves and worsening bouts with stress eczema. He sent one text, early in the night, and things went quiet: “I’m hoping for the best tonight.� Sweet, straightforward, typical. My friends and I settled in — first, at Scandals — and ordered our adult beverages, watching returns. (This would mark the first time I’ve ever watched an election with the television on mute and nightclub jams playing in the background. An odd, fitting juxtaposition.)

The evening wore on, and I thought about the emotional rollercoaster that defined the months prior. Aside from one immediate cousin, I seemed to be the only voter in my family with equality on my mind.

Despite my pleas — and constant yammering on Facebook — my brood, in its entirety, had their hearts set on voting for the guy who wanted to march my rights back to the golden ‘50s, the man intent on blunting progress at every available turn, the spokesperson for a movement that referred

to my hypothetical same-sex marriage as “disgusting� and “unnatural.� During those months, my therapist and I worked overtime, and I wondered — as I have so many times — where exactly I came from.

When it comes to politics and religion, I am not my parents’ son.

Back to Tuesday: beers and banter flowed, eyes remained glued to screens, and, eventually, the hot ‘90s hits stopped and the big mess of CNN anchors’ voices filled the room. We wondered who did Candy Crowley’s severe drag makeup. (Less rouge, girl.)

Ryan asked if Hillary had to get reelected, too. Homos played pool, trying to keep distracted, while stealing nervous glances at the big screen. More friends filed in, gathering around a collection of tables we hastily assembled, last-supper-style.

But it was a night of firsts, not lasts. When results rolled in — when equality prevailed, when same-sex marriage scored its first perfect sweep — our transfixed, motley crew erupted. A big gay Mount Vesuvius. And so went the rest of the night — the Hilton, the President’s acceptance speech (on Fox News) at Boxxes. Citywide exuberance.

The next day, I was back in the lion’s den — at work, steaming milk for the masses who live in northern Clark County. I made some assumptions, naturally, about the reception I might witness there — I’d heard many a disgruntled suburbanite complain about Obama and the progressive agenda. I, the ever-dutiful employee, usually kept my mouth shut.

That Wednesday, however, armed with only my post-election hangover, I was surprised.

One by one, a smattering of patrons (note: all women) took a moment to congratulate me on Referendum 74’s success. “Love is love,â€? they said. “I couldn’t very well vote against 74 knowing it might keep you from getting married someday.â€? One in particular, bleached blonde hair to the sky, Fox-News-anchor-style, clasped my hand. “This is so important,â€? she said. There, in the middle of my shabby little suburban cafĂŠ, I lost all control of my tear ducts.

This is how we are. We’re moved to action when someone we know and love is in the crosshairs. We’re unsure about the unknown and unfamiliar until someone puts a face on it. We put up with a thousand pointless Grindr messages in search of our platinum palomino, even if he does live a thousand miles away. And we are — often — most comfortable with the family we’ve chosen.

And that family makes all the stress eczema in the world bearable.

I hear Canada’s real nice in January.

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LATEBIAN LIFE

PERSPECTIVES

A FARE SHAKE

By Kathryn Martini PQ Monthly

It was raining, and although I swore I wouldn’t complain about the weather until at least April, I was dreading the dampness I would carry with me on the ride downtown. I boarded the bus, but the driver had stepped off. She never asked to see my pass and I was fully engrossed in my homework by the time we were on our way. My trip from Sherwood to Portland State requires a transfer at Tigard Transit Center — a new caveat thanks to TriMet route changes, and a major inconvenience for me, adding to my already negative attitude that day. I hauled my backpack off the bus and flung it on a bench where a man I assumed to be homeless was sitting.

He struck up a conversation.

“Where are you going today?”

“Downtown. Portland State,” I replied as I pulled out my wallet to get out my bus pass.

“I come out here last night to go to St. Anthony’s.”

“Oh, nice,” I offered in return, grabbing what I thought was my card. It wasn’t.

“I’m John.”

“Hi, I’m Kathryn.”

“Is that a good book you’re reading?” he asked, referring to the book on my lap. It was for a class with a ridiculous amount of reading and I didn’t like it, but I figured discussing its positive and negative merits was probably not worth the conversation. I just said it was okay while twisting my face with an obvious look of dislike.

“I’m reading this Dean Koontz one,” he said, showing it to me under his arm.

He’s a reader, that’s good.

“Cool. I like Dean Koontz.”

“It’s a scary one — I was reading it last night.”

At this point I had taken every card out of my wallet and was sifting through debit cards, my Kaiser ID, Kohl’s credit, Safeway.

No student ID — no bus pass.

“St. Anthony’s serves a real good dinner.

It was cold last night. I did buy a beer.” He showed me the beer in his coat.

He’s definitely homeless.

I started over again; I looked in every pocket of my school bag.

“There’s a good place out where I’m going today. Takes me two hours on the bus.”

“Uh huh.” I was half listening.

I opened my wallet. No cash. I looked deeper — about $1.20 in change. That wasn’t going to help.

“What are you looking for?” John asked, just as a man walked by and John called him over, pointing to me and saying, “Hey, this is my friend.”

Ok. I was his friend now. I said hello and nice to meet you and checked my

wallet again: still no money or bus pass.

I could call my wife to pick me up.

I could walk to an ATM. Both options would make me very late and the bus would be here in six minutes.

I looked over at John, who was looking at me.

“I seem to have left my bus pass at home,” I told him, while frantically considering my options.

He pulled something out of his pocket.

“I have an all-zone ticket. You can have it.”

“Oh, no. Thank you. I can’t take your ticket.”

“I have two. One will get me there; I can get another one for my way back.”

“No, no. I appreciate that, but I wouldn’t feel right.”

Could I really take a bus ticket from a homeless man?

I don’t encounter people living in the street where I live, but I spend four days a week on the PSU campus, and occasionally pass people holding signs.

Most of the time I travel along in a state of cognitive dissonance, walking by without giving them any money — usually because I’m either late or, like this situation, I don’t have any on me.

I’m a liberal, socially progressive person who is well aware that the construct of our society does not provide the basic needs of its citizens, and many or most of the people who live on the street are either mentally ill or have addiction problems. It is an issue that is so unmanageable and huge that I find myself ignoring it, trying to pretend I don’t notice, and part of me may also actually believe a fragment of the lamentations that homeless people are lazy, don’t care about success, or want to live off the work of others.

Those who have eyes will see; the rest of us wear blinders.

And here I was — a person of privilege who doesn’t worry about where my next meal will come from, who lives in a nice house in a safe neighborhood, who is pursuing an advanced degree, about to take something from a man who travels from one end of town to the other for meals and sleeps God knows where with a Dean Koontz novel and a 20-ounce beer to keep him warm.

John was being insistent about my taking the bus ticket. I didn’t want to be late, but I also didn’t want to take it.

“But I don’t have any way to pay you back,” I told him.

“That’s okay,” he replied. “I don’t ever like to see someone in need.”

Kathryn Martini is a writer, blogger, and columnist. She lives in the Portland suburbs with her beautiful wife and three teenage daughters. She blogs at recoveringstraightgirl.com and can be reached through kathrynmartini.com. pqmonthly.com

November/December 2012 • 27

MUSIC

WHISKEY & SYMPATHY Dear Gula and Sophia,

I’m a pre-op gay-identified trans guy who recently started living full-time. So far, it’s been really amazing. My friends have been super supportive and the attention I’ve gotten from men has been great for my self-esteem. The tricky part has been figuring out how to act on that attention. There are parts of my body I’m not interested in involving in my sex life (and which I’m concerned could be off-putting to cisgender gay men). My current work-around has been to take advantage of the fact that I’m a top, going the full-dom shut-the-fuck-up-and-do-as-I-say route. It works, but it feels like a bit of a cop out. Is there a better way to navigate my body issues in the bedroom?

Thanks,

Hot but Hesitant

HOT BUT HESITANT, DEAR HESITANTLY HOT,

Sophia St. James

Shut-the-fuck-up-and-do-as-I-say can get you pretty damn far ... as least with me! YUM! It can be difficult to not only transition but to figure out what is best when meeting potential lovers. It is not the same for those of us who are cisgender; our trans brothers and sisters must take safety into account. So when you decide to disclose that you’re trans, most times it needs to be done with care and precision. Unfortunately, not all individuals are open and accepting, so a situation needs to be assessed for possible dangers.

Have they made any comments or statements about gender that seemed inappropriate or insensitive? If you ever had to check them on their cisgender privilege — were they hostile and/or defensive? If the answer to either of these questions is yes, they are probably not going to be accepting of the fact that you are transgender. No matter how horny you are, your safety comes first.

If you have deemed yourself to be in a safe situation, now you’re able to booty hunt with joy. But when you do open up to your lover, be positive about your body. Especially if you have areas that are off limits. It is safe to assume most gay men have only been with cisgender gay men. Keeping this in mind, you could say, “... and guess what? I come in different sizes and lengths.” Something to make it fun and playful. Maybe you have the skill of suppressing your gag reflex. Or you’re able to grip things with might for long periods of time. You know your strengths.

Show them off!

Next, be open, clear, and honest communication. Stand your ground on your personal boundaries and make sure you express yourself well. Use that Top inside of you. Nothing is more sexy than a studly top demanding what they need. Get some!

xox, Sophia

Gula

Congrats on the steps of now living full time as a pre-op gay-identified trans guy! Not everyone in the community fully understands the issues related to your life. I love to hear of your support, and if you’re getting some, my hat’s off to you! I hear different stories of acceptance and rejections from my trans guy friends and they are so cool headed about the whole thing! They are like, “Ya, whatever.” It could be the testosterone. They seem to be butcher that I — this queen squeals every time she kisses a boy.

Now let’s chat about the parts of your body you’re not interested involving in your sexy times! It sounds like you don’t want to involve the parts in sex — have you ever offered them? Do you like them? Do you feel bottoming feminizes you? I have so many questions for you.

I think you are just starting out as a trans guy. Let’s say you just went through puberty. All the signs are there: you want it all the time, you are starting to look at your body differently, and you want to take on a role in the bedroom — one that is über masculine. Now let’s say you are out of the dreaded puberty — a few years down the road. You’ve had a lot of sex, you know that bod of yours inside and out. You have played every role-play sex game with partners you trust. You have hit enlightenment! You have cast off the shackles of fear and self loathing, you have trusted in a vulnerable state. You own you. I think I’m still getting trough puberty.

I’m sure you have heard of the porn star Buck Angel. “The man with a pussy” was named the Huffington Post’s LGBT Icon of the Day. In interviews he said it took awhile to feel like a man and he needed to have a relationship with his own body. Again, I think that is the same for everyone!! Here is a trailer from his upcoming documentary, “Sexing The Trans Man”: http://sexingthetransman.com/trailers/. It looks great and I think a lot of the community should see it!

In the immortal words of “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”: Tommy: “What is that?”

Hedwig: “It’s what I have to work with.”

That rings true to all of us. Love yo self.

-Gula

Need some advice from Sophia and Gula? Send your query — with “Whiskey & Sympathy” in the subject line — to info@pqmonthly.com.

Sophia St. James has been an erotic entertainer since 1996. She has traveled performing and educating the public on self confidence, self worth, and the art of sensuality no matter their outer appearance. Working as a sex and sensuality educator, sex toy/product reviewer, adult film director/producer, model, and erotic visual performer, Sophia is a well rounded woman with drive and determination. Sophia is also a mother and healthcare professional who takes pride in being a body positive and sex positive fierce femme.

28 • November/December 2012

Gula Delgatto’s life began in a small rural farming town in Romaina. She was scouted singing in a rocky field picking potatoes by a producer of a “Mickey Mouse Club” type ensemble. While touring the Americas the group fell apart due to jealousies and drugs. She later transitioned from Vaudeville to starring on the big screen to woman’s prison, and eventually advised the Dali Lama on fashion n-stuff. Currently she’s taking her life knowledge and giving back in an advice column for PQ.

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TRAVEL & OUTDOORS

HOW TO SAVE YOUR OWN LIFE

By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

Step 1: Wake up on the kitchen floor.

Open your eyes very slowly and feel the cold, dirty linoleum against your cheek; see the cabinet beneath the sink half-open. Realize that you haven’t been drinking, or doing drugs — you’re just incredibly depressed, so much so that your body just gave up. Try to recount how and why you ended up unconscious on the kitchen floor; fail. Remember that it is the second day of a new year, that you’re welcoming the year that the Mayans claimed would be the last as a freshly-jobless, freshly-dumped, freshly-broke person whose brain chemistry is so fully whacked out by circumstance or biology that you don’t actually have the will to get up off the kitchen floor. Close your eyes again.

Step 2: Get into your best friend’s truck and skip town for a bit. Check out the best religious architecture the western United States has to offer. Fall in love with Salt Lake City and be unimpressed by Santa Fe. Make out with a cute Mormon undergrad beneath the Brigham Young University sign. Make out with a Navajo woman to make sure you’re still gay. (You are.) Wander around Death Valley at night, gleeful with friendship and freedom and mania and inspiration and hash.

Step 3: Band together with a few likeminded folks and start your most ambitious project to date. Pray for the haters, but don’t listen to them — you don’t have time to; you’ve got work to do.

Step 4: Get sick, and then get sicker, and then get sicker still. Go to a health department doctor who gives you vague, terrible suggestions; when you tell her that you’re a single uninsured freelancer in your late 20s, try not to cry when she shakes her head sadly.

Realize that, for all of the consolations of deep philosophy, your body is a finite space that exists for a finite time, and that against all lingering adolescent fantasies to the contrary your finite time and space will one day come to an end. Watch your perspective on life immediately shift into a panoramic view, all boy drama and luxury problems receding swiftly to tiny points on the horizon.

Step 5: Reprioritize. Best friends, not Grindr dates. Great books, not Youtube videos. Go see your family and determine before you walk in the door that you won’t bicker with them, and then don’t. Forgive everyone for everything, and then keep asking yourself and everyone else what forgiveness means.

Step 6: Admit that, despite all that deep philosophy you consoled yourself with,

you never actually learned how to exist within your own skin. Learn Transcendental Meditation. On the bus ride home from the course realize that all along, beneath the mental chatter, the depressive rumination and the frantic anxiety and the nightmares and your massive out-of-control ego fighting to preserve itself, there was silence.

Weep softly with joy at this epiphany, alarming your fellow TriMet passengers.

Step 7: Get your CBC results back and discover that the health department doctor was wrong. Apologize to all your friends for freaking them out so badly. Understand immediately and viscerally that a cancer scare was one of the best things that happened to you all year.

Step 8: Get a call in the middle of the night from your ex, explaining that he’s thrown his back out and desperately needs help. Run to his house in a full sprint, find him incapacitated. While helping him into bed, realize that you’ve forgiven him — and your old job, and your old life — for leaving you. Then realize that, while he’s a good guy and your old life was pretty damn great, too, you’ve now entered a completely different state of being. Leave.

Step 9: In the middle of a long bike ride, think to yourself that that you saved your own life, but put a huge asterisk next to that — the guy that you saved, the guy that is you, looks and thinks and talks and behaves so differently now, occupies such a different space in the world than he used to. Realize that you kept most of the good parts, though, and smile at everyone you pass on the street.

Step 10: Go to a party and open the bathroom door — see one of your best friends, the heavy-drinking one who’s going through the hard times, passed out face-down on the linoleum floor with a puddle of vomit forming around him. Survey the scene and realize that he is lying in precisely the position you lay in 10 months ago on the kitchen floor, that maybe he’s in the same position emotionally you were in, too. Get back down on the ground. Grab toilet paper and wipe off your friend’s face, and when he starts throwing up again prop him up so he can get it into the toilet. Observe that he threw up all over your favorite shirt, but don’t care; just tell him to keep breathing and keep puking.

When he starts to cry, tell him that it’s okay, that you’ve been there, that we’ve all been there because this world is fucking painful sometimes, both inside and outside of our skulls. Hold his head over the toilet and tell him that something critically important happens when we’re on the floor, that it’s the first step in something that is absolutely worth the pain, that the world is huge and luminous with a million reasons that our lives are worth saving, his and yours both — and, as the final step: mean it.

Nick Mattos has more to live for than ever. Reach him at nick@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

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GAY SKATE WITH PQ Oaks Park Roller Skating Rink

Every 3rd Monday NEXT GAY SKATE:

NOV 19th 7pm-9pm

Follow us on Facebook for details

ADMISSION $6.00 Each month, Gay Skate will feature a local non-profit doing good work in the community, giving them an opportunity to table and spread the word. (If your organization is interested in being featured, please email melanie@pqmonthly.com.

PQ’s portion of the admission proceeds will go toward the creation of a PQ Monthly Scholarship Fund (details to be announced soon).

Guests are encouraged to bring non-perishable food or personal items for donation to Esther’s Pantry and Martha’s Pantry (organizations serving people with HIV/AIDS in Portland and Vancouver).

32 • November/December 2012

Sponsors:

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REGULARLY FOR NEWS UPDATES, BLOGS, EXPANDED FEATURES AND MORE! pqmonthly.com

ARTS BRIEFS

Blas Falconer 2011 National Endowment for the Arts Fellowshiprecipient Blas Falconer will read from his new book of poetry, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Foundling Wheel,â&#x20AC;? 5 p.m.-6:30 p.m. Nov. 18 at The Blue Monk and 7 p.m.-8:30 p.m. Nov. 19 at Laughing Horse Books. The book follows a gay coupleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s journey to parenthood, beginning before the desire to have a child is realized and continuing through the adoption process to the simultaneously celebrations and fears associated with being a father. To learn more, visit blasfalconer.com.

Seattle-based trans performance poet Oscar McNary will facilitate a workshop on editing and cohesion in writing at In Other Words Nov. 17 at 6 p.m. The workshop will include a brief free write (so no stress if you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a piece youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re already working on) and will conclude with a performance by McNary and Casey Tonnelly. There is a suggested $5 donation for the workshop and performance,

but no one will be turned away for lack of funds. Learn more at oscarmcnary.wordpress.com.

but organizer DJ Roy G Biv is moving on to other things.

No word yet on whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next.

Peter Zuckerman, Portland-based co-author of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Buried in the Sky: The Extraordinary Story of the Sherpa Climbers on K2â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Deadliest Day,â&#x20AC;? has received two prestigious awards for the book he wrote detailing the heroism of Mt. Everestâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sherpas with mountain climber Amanda Padoan of Spain â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the Banff Mountain 2012 Mountaineering History Award and the 2012 George Orwell Award for Distinguished Contribution to Honesty and Clarity in Public Language. Past recipients of the Orwell Award include Michael Pollan, Amy Goodman, Jon Stewart and â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Daily Showâ&#x20AC;? cast, Noam Chomsky, and Ted Koppel.

Portland promoter Samuel Thomas (SALT Presents, Portland Queer Music Festival) has announced plans to open a music venue on Portlandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s westside in early 2013.

The venue â&#x20AC;&#x201D; called Shiny â&#x20AC;&#x201D; will be in an existing space near Jeld-Wen Field and will feature live music and dance nights that cater to the LGBTQ community and their allies.

Q Center will release â&#x20AC;&#x153;Comp 175,â&#x20AC;? a compilation CD featuring LGBTQ and allied musicians to raise funds for Q Center and SMYRC, on Nov. 27. Produced by Q Center staffer and pop musician Logan Lynn, the album includes 45 tracks from Lynn, Peaches, Scream Club, Matt Alber, God-Des & She, Magic Mouth, Christeene, Tom Goss, Bobby Jo Valentine, Shunda K, Nicky Click, Brett Gleason, Jeremy Gloff, Houston Bernard, Kelly Moe, Atole, Mattachine Social, The Sexbots, Deluxe, Kimono Kops, Jeb Havens, Towering Trees, Noah Daniel Wood, Barbi Crash, Kerry Hallett, Blue Redder, Katrina Skalland, L10, Microfilm, Jana Fisher, A Million Tiny Architects, Matthew Mercer, Stephan Nance, Jonny Alternate Destination, and Marshall J. Pierce. Pre-orders are available now.

As part of the TransConnect Resource Fair at Q Center (Nov. 17-18), the Portland Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence will present an art show Nov. 17 from 5 p.m. to 6 p.m. that looks at the intersection of queer, femme, butch, and transgender identities and relationships. It will also honor those who have passed away with the Names Project.

NoPo dance night BENT will be celebrating its last hurrah Dec. 14 at the Foggy Nation (aka Faggy Nation).

The popular party has been going strong for three years,

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The Annual Siren Nation Film Festival returns Nov. 1518. Featured films include â&#x20AC;&#x153;Code of the West,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wonder Women!: The Untold Story of American Superheroinesâ&#x20AC;? (including interviews with Lynda Carter, Lindsay Wagner, Gloria Steinem, and Kathleen Hanna), â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mosquita y Mari,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;She Said Boom: The Story of the Fifth Columnâ&#x20AC;? (including interviews with Kathleen Hanna, Vaginal Davis, Caroline Azar, Beverly Breckenridge, GB Jones and Bruce La Bruce), â&#x20AC;&#x153;Audre Lorde: The Berlin Years, 1984-1992,â&#x20AC;? and a chapter from Michelle Teaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Valenciaâ&#x20AC;? by Aubree Bernier-Clarke.

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Jackie Beat â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the self-described lovechild of Better Midler and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weird Alâ&#x20AC;? Yankovic â&#x20AC;&#x201D; will be bringing her always hilarious Holiday Show to The Eagle Dec. 7 at 10 p.m. Tickets are $8 in advance and $10 at the door. For more info, visit eagleportland.com.

Q Center hosts the Portland launch party for â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Collection: Short Fiction from the Transgender Vangaurd,â&#x20AC;?

Dec. 15 at 7 p.m. Hosted by emcee Em Douglas, the event will feature readings by Casey Plett, Imogen Binnie, Calvin Gimpelevich, Everett Maroon, and Carter Sickels, and well as special guest Cooper Lee Bombardier. Learn more about â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Collectionâ&#x20AC;? at store.topsidepress.com.

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Inferno Dances presents Portland musician Christine Havrilla at a house party event in Vancouver on Nov. 25 at 3:30 p.m. There are only 30 spots available; RSVP required via the event listing on Facebook. Admission is $10 plus some food or drink to share.

November/December 2012 â&#x20AC;˘ 33

queer artisans: “I think it is important to keep money supporting your local community. I view it as tiny little micro loans.”

Continued from page 23

LAUREN LAMOTTE

Lauren LaMotte incorporates found items into her handcrafted books.

LaMotte, 32, has tried her hand at a number of arts and crafts, including sculpture, installation work, fiber art, and baking, but is currently focusing on bookmaking — specifically, journal and sketchbooks.

“I started making books in college 12 years ago while I was studying photography at the California College of Arts & Crafts in Oak-

land,” LaMotte says. “I loved black and white photography, but was feeling a bit jealous of my painter and illustrator friends’ sketchbooks. They were so colorful and involved while my books felt a little too grey.”

Get inspired: “I find the details and craftsmanship of objects and papers from the 1920s to the 1940s to be very inspiring,” LaMotte says. “I love finding old diaries that only have two entries in them, or half-written lists in the notebooks and pads of paper that I discover, and I love giving these things a new life and a new chances to have heartfelt feelings or drawings on them.”

Support local: “I think it is important to keep money supporting your local community. I view it as tiny little micro loans,” LaMotte says. “Someone buys a book and that help supports me and the shop owner.

We then go out to eat, which supports the owners of the local restaurant and the servers, which then they can go out and continue the chain.”

Buy it: LaMotte’s books are on the shelves at Worn Path (4007 N. Mississippi Ave.) and at Palace (828 SE 34th Ave.). The can also be purchased online at thestarsandthesea.com.

Feeling inspired to get crafty? Check out our PQ staff guide to DIY gifts online at pqmonthly.com.

DO YOU NEED HORMONES? Call Dr. J Vaughn 503.234.0822 34 • November/December 2012

pqmonthly.com

Cultivating Life PREVENTING THE GREAT FLOP WITH GOOD GARDEN SUPPORTS

By LeAnn Locher PQ Monthly

It comes with the territory. In the spring, our rich soil combines with plentiful rain and fairly non-dramatic temperatures, and our gardens explode with growth. I’ve literally watched vigorous plants grow in our backyard, amazed at half a foot or more a week.

But with this growth comes bendy limbs and stems, and it’s pretty easy to end up with a whole bed flattened out after a steady rain.

The worst in my garden is August when the growth is just too massive to stay upright on its own. I call this The Great Flop. And every year I promise that next year, I will stake and support the plants early in the season, and diligently throughout. Perhaps my New Year’s resolution this year will be to be a better staker.

Sexy, isn’t it?

But I’m changing my mindset about supports in the garden. They can be beautiful, and actually, on their own create drama, punctuation, and even stand as art in a bed full of plants.

It’s all how you look at it. And for this, my glass is half full.

Good garden suppor ts prov ide structure, whether complex or simple, for plants to climb, scramble, or simply lean on. They can be as simple as a tree clipping stripped of leaves and stuck in the ground to support a small seedling as it grows, or a built structure like a large wooden pergola to host two fruit producing kiwis.

Now is a great time to create garden supports for next spring, or even to give as gifts. Building a trellis, crafting some beautiful stakes, or designing a growth structure along a fence or porch are all great tasks to do in the rainy season when there’s not much to be doing in the dirt.

Here’s some food for thought …

Window frames are readily available from salvage shops and can be painted bright colors or left weathered, and hung with hooks and eyes from porch ceilings, along fences, or from a roof overhang. When vines begin growing, run some fishing line to the base of the plant, and soon your window frame will have a live plant scrambling around it.

Visit the Rebuilding Center with garden supports in mind, and soon you’ll be overcome with ideas, including window frames, pillars, and old shutters.

Bike rims are showing up in gardens for all kinds of uses, including stacked on top of each other and wired together to create height and support for green beans and peas. Cut in half, bike rims can be repeated and used as bed edging or short fencing, a great way to keep border plants from flopping into the path.

Create a custom trellis with copper tubing and your own two hands. Directions abound on the internet; some call for a soldering torch, or, depending on the complexity of your design, may only need metal glue.

Copper tubing is easy to work with, and the size and form of your structure is completely up to you. I love how copper patinas with age in the garden.

P e r h a p s i t ’s time to build an arsenal of differently-sized single sta kes to support a multitude of plants in your garden? Make them yourself and even make them beautiful. Pieces of rebar topped with soldered finials, drawer pulls, or even door knobs — check the bins at salvage shops or the clearance section of hardware stores for interesting options.

I’m supporting my garden better in 2012, and you can’t get more local than that.

For a visual feast of ideas, check out my Pinterest board of garden supports: http:// pinterest.com/leannlocher/support-localgarden-supports/.

LeAnn Locher is an OSU Extension Master Gardener and avid home cook.

You can connect with her at facebook.com/sassygardener. pqmonthly.com

THE GOOD LIFE

EAT, DRINK, AND, BE MARY SUPPORTLAND: SHOPPING LOCAL FROLICS FORWARD

By Brock Daniels PQ Monthly

On an adventure through Southeast Portland one gorgeous fall afternoon, I ran into SweetPea Baking Company. Okay, I didn’t run into it — I went there on purpose, because I heard it was an amazing vegan bakery. I walked into the open, spacious, almost warehouse-feeling business, and was quickly welcomed. Dying for some coffee, the guy helped me pick out an amazing Ethiopian varietal from Stumptown Coffee.

“I love that local businesses support other local business,” he shared, and I noticed the Supportland card on the coun-

ter. Enjoying the smooth brew while watching the scenery outside, I quickly sunk into a warm comfortable daze as the sun kissed my face. I was quickly brought back to reality as my nose was smothered with warm baked bread right out of the oven. Sweet Pea Baking Company is the real deal. Fresh bread, incredible pastries, house-made soups using fresh local ingredients, glutenfree quiche, and thick cut vegan sandwiches are only a few of the items that complete the orchestra of goodies.

My vegan pesto sandwich was held together with at least one-inch slices of fresh hot whole wheat bread on both sides, and married with fresh basil, ripe and juicy tomatoes, and vegan mozzarella cheese.

The only thing better than scarfing down that masterpiece was washing it down with a thick caramel nut bar. So gooey, one paper napkin deteriorated in seconds. Literally getting sweet rich homemade caramel all over the table, myself, and my belongings I refocused on the Supportland card I picked up. Intrigue set in immediately, and I wanted to know more.

In an effort to support local businesses, Supportland has gone above and beyond the call of duty by pulling our local resources together. Connecting 143 local shops, restaurants, and services, Supportland unites our locally-owned businesses with their local consumers. By providing one card, and a unique internet-based system, local businesses can now compete on a level with large corporations by providing buyers with rewards. One card, 143 locations. It is local genius!

There are currently 45,000 active participants in the Portland Metro area with a Supportland card, and with the release of the Supportland mobile app this November; the numbers are only going to increase.

This is great news for our local economy.

As consumers we have an opportunity to show how valuable locally-owned businesses are. And it’s easy. Each visit to a participating company, like the SweetPea Baking Company, will earn you points. Companies will also run specials on specific days, so you can earn additional points. These Artwork by Katrina Scotto di Carlo points translate into free food or product at any of the 143 businesses. In addition to earning points as you shop, buy coffee, eat out, or get a haircut, your ONE Supportland card acts as a punch card as well, earning you free products simultaneously. The best part: you don’t have to keep track; your Supportland card will do it for you.

For every $100 spent at a national corporate retailer only $16 of that will stay in our local economy. When you spend that same amount at an independent local retailer, the money that stays in our community doubles in value — at a minimum.

Let’s band together as a community and eat and shop at our independent locations.

It does make a difference, and it keeps our amazing businesses running full-steam ahead, like SweetPea Baking Company.

SweetPea Baking Company 1205 SE Stark St., Portland 503-477-5916 For a complete list of the 143 local shops and restaurants, go to supportland.com.

Brock Daniels, a Pacific Northwest native, has studied wine, culinary arts, gastronomy, and loves researching new food. Brock has written a self-published cookbook titled “Our Year in the Kitchen.” Reach him at brock@pqmonthly.com.

November/December 2012 • 35

Business Directory PQ Monthly is published the 3rd Thursday of every month. Please contact us for advertising opportunities at 503.228.3139

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November/December 2012 â&#x20AC;˘ 37

THE FUN STUFF

QUERY A QUEER Question:

I am dating a woman (my first official relationship with the same sex), and I find that it is hard for me to be comfortable in public, not because I care what others think, but because I am not used to be treated differently. I am still struggling with the label “lesbian,” as I did not detest men, but prefer women and I find it uncomfortable to be open around people who do not accept homosexuality. I also find it to be a bit of a struggle within my relationship as my partner has been out for over a decade, and she takes offense, as if I am embarrassed by her, despite my reassurance that I am still in the coming out process. Any advice?

Answer: First and foremost, congrats on your recent coming out!

Being true to yourself and following your heart isn’t easy, especially since significant (though diminishing) portions of society still consider same-sex relationships sinful and deserving of judgment, ridicule, or worse. Despite the pushback from the ignorant and the fearful (and, let’s be real, the repressed), anyone who’s been out for a while will tell you it is all worth it. But even if you recognize the value in living your life openly and authentically, it’s not uncommon to want to hover near the closet door in the beginning.

My first queer relationship blossomed some nine years

ago, the summer after my first year of college. It was a sweet summer romance, the first half of which was long distance. She spent the early part of the summer running the merch table for a band called Delta Dart, sending me letters and postcards from the road. When the band broke up in Louisiana, she returned and our fling began in earnest — which meant I had to come to terms with having a girlfriend in real life.

It was exhilarating and terrifying. Something as simple as holding hands while we walked down the town’s main drag made my heart palpate with puppy love and paranoia. What if someone saw us? I wasn’t out to my parents yet, and knew my hometown wasn’t exactly gay-friendly.

If my reluctance to “live out loud” bothered her, she made no mention of it. She seemed to understand that coming out is a process, one that is best left to unfold at its own pace and in its own way. It sounds like you may not be fully comfortable with your own emerging sexual identity, and that’s okay. What’s important is recognizing this discomfort in yourself (which we sometimes call internalized homophobia), and endeavoring to do something about it — for your own sake, not your partner’s.

Your partner would do well to remember that she was once newly out, and sit with what that felt like for her. She may have outgrown those shoes, but she has surely worn them before, so it shouldn’t be such a stretch to recall the insecurities she experienced when she first came out a decade ago. Perhaps, if you haven’t already, you could invite your partner to share those memories with you.

Now, as much as a certain degree of discomfort is natural when emerging from a cocoon, that doesn’t mean we are served by being complacent and making a nest of it. Being treated differently is an unfortunate reality for LGBTQ folks

in this day and age. While we shouldn’t simply accept it, we do have to expect it. This calls for a two-pronged approach: learning to face injustice in the world at large, and dealing with your own inner turmoil.

While you may not feel empowered to stand up to individuals who make you uncomfortable, you can take a stand for LGBTQ rights with the backing of an activist group or nonprofit organization. Consider participating in political actions or volunteering with LGBTQ groups. Defending and supporting others might make it easier for you to turn that compassion on yourself. Not only will this help you strengthen your voice, but it will also broaden your support network.

I’d also strongly recommend connecting with others who are still in the process of coming out. Many cities have coming out support groups for this very reason. You can also find support online and among friends, but the key element is talking with others who share your experiences. Doing so can help you feel less alone, dispel some of the shame you may carry around who are you or where you are in your process, and give you the tools to address the challenges ahead.

As for your partner, all you can do is be clear, open, and honest about what your needs are and hope that she is able to see and respond to them. Only you can know if your relationship is built to last, but I hope that you will give yourself permission to be where you are and not see your process as a burden on your partner. Because coming out is about becoming your most authentic self, and if your partner is hindering (or forcing) that growth, then they don’t belong on your path.

I like big questions and I cannot lie. Especially the one we keep close to our chests for fear of judgment or embarrassment.

Your closeted curiosities are safe with me. Send your queries on all things queer to erin@pqmonthly.com.

ASTROSCOPES WITH MISS RENEE Miss Renee aka Tarot Chick is an empath, tarot card reader, and spiritual astrologer of 19 years based out of NE Portland.

She loves love notes so feel free to holla or schedule a tarot / astrology chart session: that_tarot_chick@yahoo.com.

GEMINI: Yeah, your ruler Mercury is retrograde and communication/appointments/electronics are pretty much fusterclucked, blah blah. But seriously, multiple planetary configurations request you scale social interactions back three notches and slow it dowwwwwn. Lunar Elipse in Gemini Nov. 28 has you soul searchin’, so SHH! All we should hear from you is an exhaled “Ohm”!

ARIES: Love or independence? Values or progress at whatever expense? Do you know how to share? These are the themes the Solar Eclipse plus Venus (Love/Values) opposing your ruler Uranus (Freedom/Progress) has been laying on ya. Choose wisely while considering the option of a bit of both blended with a sprig of mint. Mmmmmm!

TAURUS: It’s all about love and friendship for you, Venus Child.

New Moon/Solar Eclipse opposing in soulful Scorpio combined plus planetary action in your house of friendship/aspirations say put the WERK! into making your romances purr, your business partnerships stable, and balancing friendship give and take.

Group collabs could pave the way toward dream success now.

38 • November/December 2012

CANCER: Asking yourself “Am I on fire or am I in heaven?”

You’re right on track, baby. POWERFUL planetary activity (including New Moon/Solar Eclipse in soul deep Scorpio) turns you into a rising Phoenix re: romance, children, creativity, and how you choose to have fun. Chiron’s (Wounded Healer) transit helps identify/release limiting beliefs, freeing you.

LEO: I wouldn’t be a bit surprised to see you contemplating moving, re-grouping, or otherwise having your living situation/family life — and this includes friends as family — shook up over the next month. Every King/ Qween deserves a castle that is stable and supportive and if yours is neither, fix it. So, how you livin’?

VIRGO: The Universe is asking you to focus on communication

— the way you process/communicate may no longer be serving you. Are you punitive? A passive pleaser?

Circumlocutious? Eclipses in Gemini and Scorpio, combined with opposing Chiron and Neptune (both newly in direct motion) gives you power to revamp your image via your thinking/speaking/teaching. #CharmSchool

brings hidden fears to the surface, urges soul searching. Karmic/spiritual new or deepening romances are likely after the Lunar Eclipse Nov. 28.

CAPRICORN: Where yo homies at?? Is it okay to sex them? Pressing questions get you to focus on who you currently LIBRA: call “friend.” Level-headedness is key since Solar Libra, please raise your right hand and repeat after me: Eclipse Nov. 13, fiery Mars entering Cap Nov. 18, and “I (state your name) do solemnly swear to not let my Venus entering the picture Nov. 23 might: A. Request inner Want Beast take over.” Current transits say focus mirrored value systems. B. Reveal friends w/ benfinances/values systems/getting paid for your talents. nies. Haaaaaay.

Resist “Sugar Mama/Daddy” tendencies. Budget. Being proactive around your health is a good idea now too.

AQUARIUS: PUUUSH! You’ve been humpin’ it up that hill for some SCORPIO: time now and just about to crest it. New Moon/Solar 2012’s riding you like a pony! True to form, most of you Eclipse in death/rebirth Scorpio creates powerful insights have risen to the occasion with nary a whimper. Mer- and breakthroughs re: rebirthing your career face/public cury retro/New moon/Solar Eclipse/Venus in Scorpio ask reputation, and manifesting the reward for all your hard you to dig deeper still. Where are you weak/vulnerable/ work. What a sweet view from the top! Props. powerful? Get this pending identity crisis over with, then shore up your self esteem. You’re effin’ AMAZING. PISCES: Is it time for the student to become the teacher? Is it SAGITTARIUS: time to revisit your belief system? Are you inspired?

Focus on balancing quiet time for yourself vs. putting Living an inspired life? These are questions that you effort into relationships — be they business, roman- ride into the holiday season with. Lunar eclipse in tic, or friendship — and creating a sense of home. Gemini Nov. 28 also asks you to revamp your home A powerful New Moon/Solar Eclipse sensitizes you, life. Visualize family harmony. Create new stability. pqmonthly.com

THE FUN STUFF

SEE AND BE SEEN We want to see more of you! Do you have photos you’d like to share in the pages of PQ Monthly? Send your photos along with a photo credit and caption to info@pqmonthly.com, post them on our Facebook page, or tag PQ Monthly in them.

There were a lot great events — an even more lovely people attending them — this month, but we were particularly moved by the energy and optimism on display at the various Election Night parties around town, so we’re dedicating this photo page to the day voters backed marriage equality at the ballot box for the first time in U.S. history.

Featured here are shots from parties thrown by Basic Rights Oregon, JustPortland, the Democratic Party of Oregon, Charlie Hales, and Nena Cook.

Photos by Jules Garza, Erin Rook, and Melanie Davis

pqmonthly.com

November/December 2012 • 39

PERSPECTIVES

40 â&#x20AC;˘ November/December 2012

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