PQ Monthly October/November 2014 Edition

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PQMONTHLY.COM Vol. 3 No. 10 Oct-Nov 2014

Inside: Wanda Sykes, TERF-Affiliated “New Narratives” Conference, Ann Schatz, Shorty Shorts, Jeff Merkley, Your Halloween To-Boo List, and Much More!

PHOTO BY BEN LACHMAN

JAYCE JUST WANTS TO LIVE ON CAMPUS

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Early in the morning on OctoThat brings me to our current issue. ber 13, my elated cousin, who lives In it, we take time to talk to Jayce M., in Alaska, texted me and posted on a trans student at George Fox who my Facebook wall: “We got sameisn’t allowed to live on campus with sex marriage in Alaska! Can you his peers. His battle — over “religious even?” I was born there, lived there exemptions” in public arenas (George until I was nearly ten, and I’d occaFox receives federal funding) — is far sionally go back for visits throughfrom over. It’s not easy being thrust in out high school until most of my the spotlight, but Jayce is unwavering family moved to the Northwest. in his commitment to justice. Sorin (My cousin’s a real trooper and Thomas, a trans person who idenremains there.) As I read the news, tifies as gender neutral, dealt with a I was certainly shocked: I think it’s potential employer demanding that fair to say I thought it’d be years Thomas “explain” xyr gender to them, before I could get married in my and, when Thomas did, the company home state. But, times are changdecided it wasn’t enough and ostensiing, and we’re now in a race to see bly rescinded their job offer. which state will be the last to marry In our pages, the community rallies its first same-sex couple. (Anyone behind Jeff Merkley, and they react to a taking bets? Texas?) high profile endorsement of his oppoIn Alaska, the current governor is nent. We’ve got three pieces on Merkley appealing the Alaska court’s ruling in our pages. Leela Ginelle also takes a (which paved the way for marriages long, hard look at some radical lesbito begin), though the Ninth Circuit Peruse our pages — we think you’ll find them as inspiring as we do. Our stories and our struggles always are. They ans who rent space at Q Center — and and Supremes have already weighed remind us of how far we’ve come, how resilient the LGBTQ community is, and how we always achieve more when we how their dangerous views affect the in — he’s intent on pandering to his work together and support one another. Photo by Julie Cortez trans community and, in turn, all of us. religious base before November, a We’ve got arts and culture for you, move that reminds us our energized enemies may be running short on too! Shaley Howard writes a fantastic piece on local legend Ann Schatz, ideas, but they’ve still got plenty of zeal. Despite efforts like his around and we’ve got a sneak preview of this year’s short film festival. Wanda Sykes the country, same-sex marriage bans are dropping like flies. Idaho, Okla- will make you laugh, and Christin Milloy will challenge your preconceived homa, Indiana — did you ever think you’d see the day? But, we’re now in a notions about gender. Sally Mulligan previews fall fashion, Nick Mattos strange predicament. In Indiana, we can get married, but it’s also perfectly pens a beautiful column about bitter old queens, and Monika and Gula legal for our employer to fire us for being who we are. And so it goes in keep it real. And that’s just the tip of the big queer iceberg. more than half of the states in our imperfect union. How did that happen?

Sit back, grab a cup of tea, and peruse our pages — I think you’ll find them That reality underscores an important point that can’t be emphasized as inspiring as I do. Our stories and our struggles always are. They remind enough. Our struggle is far from over. Our struggle will be a struggle until us of how far we’ve come, how resilient the LGBTQ community is, and how each member of our community has equal protection under the law — we always achieve more when we work together and support one another. and enjoys lived equality. That is — legislation isn’t always enough, and Until November. it’s certainly not enough until our day to day lives reflect our most earnest (And in November we’ll be kicking off the holiday season in style. Our legalese. We have to address racial inequality, trans justice, immigration legendary November press party will once again be at Mitchell Gold + reform, legalized discrimination, and all of the important battles being Bob Williams, so come eat, drink, nosh — and certainly come dressed to waged all around us. (Also HIV infections are on the rise in young men — impress!)

-Daniel Borgen a development we’ll address in our November issue.)

A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:

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ON THE COVER “Not being allowed to live on campus has been difficult for me this year. It’s like I’m allowed to be at George Fox but I’m not fully allowed to be at George Fox. It’s one thing to choose to live off campus with your friends; it’s another thing to be forced to live off campus. It’s not something that the other students have to go through.” --Jayce M. Photo by Ben Lachman.

Jayce M. Just Wants to Live on Campus...........................................Page 5 TERF stakes out space (and unhinged views) at Q Center..............Page 6 Believe in Equality: Jeff Merkley Chats with PQ................................Page 8 Kendall Clawson’s Big Promotion.......................................................Page 12 Turn a Look, by PQ’s Sally Mulligan....................................................Page 13 Your Halloween To-Boo List..................................................................Page 16 Broadway Bears (and Many More Events)........................................Page 17 Sorin Thomas and Blatant Discrimination..........................................Page 19 Wanda Sykes! ......................................................................................Page 24 Also: Laura Calvo, an op-ed from Planned Parenthood, Christin Milloy and gender assignment, The Lady Chronicles, ID Check, This Ends Badly, Everything is Connected, OK Here’s the Deal, Living Out Loud, Cultivating Life, Whiskey and Sympathy, and much more. Not seeing what you’d like to see? Email Daniel@PQMonthly.com.

October/November 2014 • 3

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FEATURE

JAYCE M. CARRIES ON, UNDETERRED; GEORGE FOX UNIVERSITY REFUSES TO CHANGE COURSE vides an exemption for insti“Not being allowed to live on campus has been difficult tutions controlled by religious for me this year,” he continues. “It’s like I’m allowed to be organizations to the extent that at George Fox but I’m not fully allowed to be at George Fox. Title IX conflicts with the reli- It’s one thing to choose to live off campus with your friends; gious tenets of the controlling it’s another thing to be forced to live off campus. It’s not organization. We are commit- something that the other students have to go through, so ted to protecting all students it makes me feel singled out.” from unlawful discrimination On campus, it’s mostly support from his peers: “I am consistent with these statutory finding a lot of support from students though. Lots of sturequirements.” dents support me, even if they don’t completely understand But Jayce’s battle is far from or agree with everything. Some of the staff has been supover. portive as well but it’s hard to feel completely supported by Earlier this month, PQ residence life and student life staff when they won’t treat Monthly learned most of the me like the other men at school.” major minority bar associaJayce, who lives off campus with four male classmates tions in Oregon (the Oregon — they share a condo close to campus — still loves his Hispanic Bar Association, school, despite the challenges. “I still love being a student Oregon Asian Pacific Ameri- at George Fox. My friends and professors are great. I’ve can Bar Association, Oregon also become one of the leaders of Common Ground, the Minority Lawyers Association, unofficial LGBTQ student group on campus. And I’m really Oregon Women Lawyers, and busy with classes and work.” And, during rare down time, OGALLA: The LGBT Bar Asso- basketball, video games, and socializing. “It definitely has ciation of Oregon) submitted a been overwhelming sometimes. But I’ve been able to conjoint letter to George Fox Uni- nect with a lot of great people because of it. And I think it “Our members know the pain of difference.” – Joint letter from Oregon’s major minority bar associations. Photo by Ben Lachman versity’s board of trustees, call- is helping younger transgender people feel like they can be

By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly ing on the university to change course and to treat Jayce themselves and stand up for themselves.” and other trans students better — and equally. From the Early this month, Jayce and his lawyer, Southwick, filed “Our members know the pain of difference.” – Joint letter letter: “Our members know the emotional, financial, and a formal complaint with the Northwest Commission on from Oregon’s major minority bar associations physical pang of discrimination based on who we are. Our Colleges and Universities, the organization that oversees “Not being allowed to live on campus has been difficult members know the pain of difference. We wholeheartedly George Fox’s accreditation status, and Southwick re-filed for me this year. It’s like I’m allowed to be at George Fox but support Jayce and his right to be who he is.” And, “as law- Jayce’s updated housing complaint with the Department I’m not fully allowed to be at George Fox. It’s one thing to yers, business people, and community leaders, you should of Education and it is once again under review.\ choose to live off campus with your friends; it’s another thing recognize that George Fox’s policy spotlights the school as In the lengthy letter to the Northwest Commission on to be forced to live off campus. It’s not something that the discriminatory and hurtful.”

Colleges and Universities, Southwick makes a compelling other students have to go through.” – Jayce M. It went on: “GFU cannot honor Jayce while at the same case. “Jayce and his roommates, who were forced to live off Last spring, we introduced you to Jayce M., an Afri- time denying him campus this year can-American transgender student at George Fox who the full reality of because of George wants to live on campus with his friends this year. Unfor- who he is. DenyFox’s actions, are tunately, after a lengthy appeals process, he was ultimately ing Jayce the right all African-Amerdenied on-campus housing by the university — and George to live with other ican males. FindFox stands by its decision. Jayce, a junior at the Christian males is such an ing off-campus university of liberal arts and sciences located in Newberg, act, a strikingly poihousing at the last Ore., has medically, socially, and legally transitioned. Courts gnant one. We recminute, particuhave affirmed his identity. Portland attorney Paul South- ognize that GFU larly in a predomwick, of Davis Wright Tremaine LLP, filed a Title IX dis- has offered Jayce inantly white comcrimination complaint with the U.S. Department of Edu- h i s ow n a p a r t munity, has been cation after repeated efforts to find an amicable solution ment on campus, very difficult for with George Fox administrators and after Jayce was denied but that offer itself them on a practihis final appeal. i s a s w o rd t h a t cal level. However, In July, the U.S. Department of Education closed (and incises into Jayce’s beyond the practiostensibly denied) Jayce’s complaint, granting George Fox psyche the fact cal difficulties, the college a “religious exemption,” and for the time being that GFU does not, fact that four of dashing any hope Jayce had of living on campus with the in fact, accept him the very few Afrirest of his friends and classmates. Religious exemptions, it for who he is. Set- “I’ve become a voice for marginalized communities at George Fox. There are a lot of voices at George Fox, and in the can-American stuseems, are becoming the new normal. Exemptions histori- ting Jayce aside broader Christian community, that get silenced or ignored, including the voices of people of color, the LGBTQ community dents on campus cally take years to get, according to Southwick. George Fox in his own housing and people with disabilities.” Photo by Ben Lachman were forced to got theirs in just a few months. The school applied for it — would deny his identity, degrade his self-worth, deny other move off campus in order to live together, while their in secret — while meeting with Jayce and — at the time — students the benefit of his company, and so isolate Jayce as non-African-American classmates were allowed to remain seemingly negotiating in good faith. The college, it seemed, to drive home day in and day out the pain of difference.” on campus, increased the level of stigma Jayce experienced, never intended to change its policies.

All of this has made Jayce an accidental activist of sorts. and continues to experience, as a result of George Fox UniPQ received an email from the Department of Educa- “I’m having an unusual college experience,” he says. “I’ve versity’s actions.” tion shortly after we broke the story about Jayce’s appeal. become a voice for marginalized communities at George “We also refiled his Title IX complaint with the DepartThey disagreed with the contention that GFU’s exemption Fox. I wasn’t looking for this but it came to me when the ment of Education,” Southwick tells PQ. “The Department was particularly speedy — they also said: “The Department university denied my housing request. There are a lot of of Justice is also continuing to review his complaint under of Education enforces Title IX’s prohibitions against dis- voices at George Fox, and in the broader Christian com- the Fair Housing Act.” crimination on the basis of sex, including gender identity, munity, that get silenced or ignored, including the voices So, for now, Jayce waits — again. And our community in any education program or activity operated by a recip- of people of color, the LGBTQ community and people with holds out hope that someone — somewhere — will end up ient of federal taxpayer dollars. However, Title IX also pro- disabilities.” doing the right thing. pqmonthly.com

October/November 2014 • 5

FEATURE

ANTI-TRANS, EXTREMIST, TERF-AFFILIATED “NEW NARRATIVES” CONFERENCE HELD AT Q CENTER, UPSETS TRANS COMMUNITY Compiled by PQ Monthly Staff

This unfortunate photograph was taken from one of the conference attendee’s Facebook pages.

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Over Memorial Day weekend, Portland played host to two related conferences—Radfems Respond and New Narratives—that have sparked notoriety for the unsettling views their participants put forth about transgender women and the place of trans people in our culture.

Radfems Respond was organized by a branch of feminists informally known as TERFs (an acronym for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists). Broadly speaking, TERFs view gender as a social construct, and consider women the victims of patriarchal conditioning, going so far as to consider femininity an outcome of sympathizing with one’s oppressors, akin to Stockholm Syndrome.

They’re known to reject the participation of trans women in feminism, arguing that because trans women have been assigned a male gender at birth and socialized male, they bring “male energy” into spaces with them, as well as residual male privilege.

While those of a small, marginalized portion of the feminist community today, TERF ideas once held great sway.

TERF author and professor Janice Raymond, for instance, advised the Health and Human Services Department during the Reagan administration, using her transphobic views to help see trans-related health care be deemed medically unnecessary in the early 1980s, a decision that is only now being reversed, and which was detrimental to countless trans women and men in the interim.

Gloria Steinem once espoused TERF views, though she has since recanted. Germaine Greer published TERF

inf luenced writings as recently as 1999.

According to TransAdvocate editor Cristan Williams, the official schism between TERFs and mainstream Radical Feminists came recently. “In 2008, the feminist community noticed that there was a real difference between the ‘radical feminism’ of people like Janice Raymond and Andrea Dworkin” Williams says. “They noticed that there are many Radical Feminists who are supportive of trans people, like Dworkin, and those who are viciously anti-trans, like Raymond. These non-trans feminists began referring to the supporters of Raymond as ‘Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists’ or TERFs for short.”

The main difference between the groups, Williams says, is the somewhat mystical, outmoded idea of “sex essentialism.” “While TERFs call themselves Radical Feminists, they are really more of an offshoot of Radical Feminism, because, instead of rejecting sex essentialism, the TERF movement uses sex essentialism as its ideological foundation. TERFs are generally sex-essentialists who believe that sex is a natural binary because there exists some undefined male or female essence that is found in all men and women. Sometimes this sexed essence is viewed as habits acquired during early socialization and at other times it is some specific sex attribute. The specific essence that TERFs appealed to changes from time to time, depending on the argument they make.”

The New Narratives Conference, which took place at Q Center, was related to the TERFs’ Radfems Respond gathering, but very different. It was organized by trans women who, by and large, agree with TERF ideology. Many of the New Narratives participants attended Radfems Respond on the one day NEW NARRATIVES CONFERENCE page 10

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FEATURE

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October/November 2014 • 7

FEATURE

BELIEVE IN EQUALITY: PQ TALKS WITH SENATOR JEFF MERKLEY

By Nick Mattos, PQ Monthly

Senator Jeff Merkley (D-OR) believes in equality. The accomplished and celebrated politician is currently crossing the state to meet with Oregonians on the campaign trail, seeking reelection to his place in the Senate. Senator Merkley spoke with PQ’s Nick Mattos about his successes as a senator, his anxieties around his current campaign, and his fight for equal rights and protections for all Americans.

PQ Monthly: It’s been an amazing campaign for you. What’s been the highlight of it for you so far?

Senator Jeff Merkley: Certainly the highlight has been the ability to go out around Oregon and have conversations about the challenges that people face. One of the hardest challenges that people currently face are living-wage jobs — working Americans are under enormous pressure, and the number of good-paying jobs are becoming fewer and fewer.

This was further complicated by the recession of 2008, when 60% of the jobs we lost were good-paying jobs, and only 40% of those have come back. A lot of families that previously had a good foundation are now stranded working at minimum wage, near-minimum wage, or part-time jobs, or otherwise jobs with no benefits. This is not acceptable. Our economy should not be judged by the SNP500 or the GDP; it should be judged by the success of creating living-wage jobs.

PQ: When you’re looking back over your time in office, what are you most proud of?

JM: I am proud to pick up where Ted Kennedy passed me the torch on the Employee Non-Discrimination Act, and leading that last year to a 2-to-1 bipartisan victory in the US Senate.

PQ: You have a great record of working in a bipartisan way across the aisle. Philosophically, how do you square that in your own life?

JM: No matter where someone is on the political spectrum, if you talk with them for a while you’ll find that there are a number of things you can agree on and work together on…

A real challenge for America right now is that we no longer have the mutual respect that helped drive problem-solving legislative solutions in the past. In the first senate I worked around in 1976, many of those senators had served in World War II and were bonded by a national cause. They could disagree without demonizing, and had no problem teaming up to work on something together. We no longer have that factor tying us together, we don’t have three networks bringing the conversation together, and we don’t have the families of senators living in DC helping to create the relationships that enable people to work together. Instead, we have the situation where many people campaign on simply obstructing the other side or creating paralysis, and they’re using the rules of the Senate to achieve that. This is why we can’t restore the functioning of the Senate without changing the rules, and why I’ve been working so hard on filibuster reform.

PQ: In your view, are there any things that are simply irreconcilable between the two sides?

JM: In terms of getting through the obstacles in the Senate and House, we face huge obstacles. The supermajority in the

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Senate that is now required for rules to move forward is an obstacle particularly for good environmental policy. Let me put it this way: the number-one objective of the Koch brothers, who have spent more than 2.8 million dollars in Oregon just on television attack ad time in August and September, is to gut the Clean Air Act so that coal-powered power plants can pollute without restriction. We are not going to get any enhancement of taking on carbon pollution as long as the Koch brothers hold this veto through their near-complete ownership of the Republican Party. I think getting tax laws that are fair to the middle class, and closing the egregious giveaways to powerful special interests like the oil companies, are not going to get done while the filibuster is still in place.

PQ: You’ve done great work in terms of healthcare reform.

What do you see as the next steps beyond the Affordable Care Act for the reform of the American healthcare system?

JM: We have to get the changes we have in place now working smoothly. Here in Oregon, we had a dysfunctional website making it very difficult for people to go through the annual sign-up process. We need to have a highly functioning website. It’s important to note, though, that this year there are 500,000 Oregonians signed up for healthcare even though they had to do it through stoneage mechanisms of paper applications that they mailed or faxed off. A lot of people had trouble remembering exactly what a fax machine is! They signed up, though, because access to affordable healthcare is a fundamental part of equality. We need to refine it, make the marketplace work better so there’s more competition to drive down costs. We need reform in the way we pay for treatment, reforms that encourage a holistic view so that people are taken care of after they leave the hospital and don’t end up back there.

We need to continue our efforts to address prevention and have true healthcare, rather than just to address sick care.

PQ: Another aspect of the American healthcare crisis that seems underrepresented is that we’re frankly very stressed out as a people and as a culture, and living in extremely anxious times. Can you talk about your experience of anxiety?

JM: Well, I’m in the middle of a campaign, and campaigns produce a lot of anxiety. It’s a very strange position to be in, in which you have folks from outside Oregon like the Koch brothers spending at this moment $53,000 a day to mislead the public and to defame me. These sorts of attack ads aren’t the sort of thing one goes through life expecting to face. One has to struggle with how to get the facts out there in the face of this kind of money trying to produce lies in public media. This question is critical to the success of our democracy, though. Our constitutional vision begins with the words “We The People,” in supersize font, to remind us what this constitution is all about… but the Supreme Court’s majority 5-4 decision for Citizens United was about creating space, not for we the people, but for we the few and powerful, by and for the powerful. It threatens the very core of our democracy. We see that playing out today right here in the campaign I’m facing for the US Senate, with the Koch brothers front organization Freedom Partners spending vast sums basically as part of a national strategy to buy the US Senate. That produces a lot of anxiety! I feel a responsibility to work with people across Oregon to fend off this attack on the vision of a nation that works for working Americans.

PQ: One of the new frontiers in the civil rights movement

is the rights of transpeople. What sort of people do you see trans Oregonians facing, and what can be done on the legislative level to support them?

JM: Let’s turn the clock back to my involvement in the Oregon legislature. I have always believed in the beauty of a world in which every individual has the opportunity to thrive according to their efforts — in that sense, a world of equality and opportunity. That’s the world I fought for as a state legislator, which is why I lead the fight in 2007 to end discrimination in employment, in public accommodation, and in housing, and to do what we could within the constitutional framework at the time to create marriage equality by creating full domestic partnerships. We won those battles in 2007, at a time when there was great hostility from many Oregonians — I remember people waving signs and beating on my windshield while I tried to park my car in Salem to let me know how much they disagreed with my stance for equality.

The effort I lead in 2007 was fully inclusive for our trans community. When I went to the US Senate and the ailing Senator Kennedy wanted to pass the torch to someone, he chose — in an extraordinary and surprising moment for me — to ask me through his staff to carry the torch for ENDA because I had carried the battle in Oregon. I told him right then that I would not agree to carry that torch unless there was full agreement that it would be a fully inclusive LGBT bill, and got everyone’s partnership on that before I took it on. We did produce a fully inclusive bill that passed last year.

Think about it: the bill for ENDA was first introduced in the US Senate in 1994, it was voted on in 1996, and never made the floor again until last year. If only the House would proceed to vote on it later this year, after we come back after elections.

They should vote on it, because every American has the right to know where their congressperson stands on this battle for fairness in employment opportunity. We also need to think more broadly about how we come back and have not just a bill for employment, but a bill like the one that I led the effort to pass in 2007 that was full public accommodation. No one should be able to be kicked out of their apartment because of whom they are or whom they love. No one should be kicked out of a restaurant or a movie theatre, or denied the ability to buy a loaf of bread, for this reason, but yet it’s still legal in so many states across this country. In 29 states, it’s still legal to discriminate against the LGB community for employment; for the transgender community, it’s still legal in 33 states.

That’s unacceptable, and we need to change it. By the way, even though the bill that I led in the Senate did not pass the House, it did create the foundation — because it passed by a bipartisan majority — for me to lead a group of senators and congressfolk to go back to the President and say that it was time for him to do this for government contractors by executive order. I was very pleased to go to the White House a month ago and sit in as the President signed an executive order ending workplace discrimination for the LGBT community. While it makes no difference in Oregon, as we already have these protections, think of the deep South where neither companies nor legislators are leading the way. Now, it’ll be government contractors leading the way and setting an example for states resistant for equality.

This transcript has been edited for clarity and length. For more information, visit JeffMerkley.com.

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FEATURE FEATURE NEWS

DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL COMMITEEWOMAN AND LGBTQ LEADER LAURA CALVO RESPONDS TO CONTROVERSIAL WEHBY ENDORSEMENT

By PQ Monthly Staff

In September of 2014, PQ Monthly reported that Ben West and Paul Rummell — two of the plaintiffs of the case which brought marriage equality to Oregon — chose to endorse Dr. Monica Wehby for Oregon’s 2014 Senate election, and that Dr. Wehby’s campaign was to launch television ads featuring West and Rummell’s endorsement. For response, we spoke with Laura Calvo, a transgender Latina activist, a former worker with Harvey Milk’s campaign, and one of Oregon’s representative to the Democratic National Committee. What follows is her candid response to the endorsement, and her endorsement of Senator Jeff Merkley.

“When I saw the endorsement, I was taken aback by it at first. When I sat back and thought about it, though I realized that they have every right to express their choice of a candidate as they see fit — as I do as well. Senator Jeff Merkley has been such a great ally, and has a proven track record as an advocate for LGBT people. While [West and Rummell’s] endorsement on its face can be argued to be an individual endorsement, and that they don’t speak for an entire community, because the marriage issue is brought up in the advertisements, it can be perceived as speaking for an entire community. I don’t think that’s the way it should be portrayed. Unfortunately, that’s the world we live in — we haven’t come to the point that LGBT equality isn’t newsworthy, even if we’re quickly getting there. When I see their ad, I wonder ‘Where was your candidate when the fight for LGBTQ equality has been going on?” Dr. Wehby’s been working as a surgeon, has no voting record to stand behind, and has stirred up a lot of controversy with her actions. It’s disturbing to see an endorsement of that nature on television.

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“Reporter Jeff Mapes [of the Oregonian] recently did an article looking at the aggression by which the Wehby campaign courted the couple; it started out with an email to her campaign asking about her stances on LGBT issues. In and of itself, that’s confusing to me — at the end of the day, while she purports to be for marriage equality, almost in the same sentence she says that’s best left up to the states.

That’s a big red flag that she doesn’t get it, and should be enough of a red flag for anyone in this community that believes in equality that she’s probably not the candidate you want to go for. What that says is that, at the end of the day, if for some reason marriage equality goes to the ballot again, that she’d be fine with that. That’s not being in support of gay marriage — that’s a political move, trying to walk the razor’s edge to get votes on both sides. In every election, votes do matter. In 2008, Merkley squeaked by Gordon Smith in that vote. Different groups can claim that the difference was their demographic’s votes. The queer community can claim that also. Still, [West and Rummell] have every right to express that endorsement, for whatever reason — even if I don’t know what those reasons are.

“West and Rummell say she’s the one willing to fight for Oregon. Well, Jeff Merkley has been fighting for Oregon already. In 2001, long before it was popular to do so, he wrote his first domestic partner bill as a state legislator.

While ENDA didn’t pass in the house in 2007, and caused a huge uproar in the community for not being fully inclusive, Jeff Merkley has never had any qualms about it being fully inclusive. It can’t go anywhere else but be fully inclusive of gender identity, which is probably more important to gay and lesbian people than it is to transfolks like me at this point anyway — because what you’re discriminated against

is by their perception of your not being a man or a woman, being a sissy or being too masculine. That’s gender stereotyping right there. Without that gender identity clause, ENDA is basically toothless. After Ted Kennedy passed in 2008, he made the decision to pass the ENDA baton on to Jeff Merkley. That speaks to Senator Merkley’s ability; he was able to then get it passed in the Senate, which wasn’t able to happen for years.

“Discrimination based on who you are and who you love is ugly. We look around and see people in Uganda or other countries that are anti-gay as repulsive; we don’t seem to repulse too much as a society when someone says ‘Oh, it’s a state’s right to choose whether people have equality.’ That is just goofy to me, and flawed thinking.

“In 2007, Jeff Merkley called me and asked me what I thought. We didn’t meet over coffee, or in a bar — he just asked, specifically, what my concerns were and what he could do to help. I’m not rich. I struggle every day to put food on the table and keep a roof over my head, and the recession hit me just as hard as it hit everyone else. It spoke volumes to me that Senator Merkley would specifically seek me out to find out my viewpoint.

“In short, Senator Merkely has done the work, has the experience, and is the right candidate for the LGBT community, Oregon, and the nation. I strongly endorse him, because he’s the best person for the job.”

Watch for much more from our conversation with Calvo — including a look at her history working on the Harvey Milk campaign, the law enforcement dismissal that led to her becoming politically active, and her vision for a politically-engaged and –informed queer community — in future issues of PQ Monthly.

October/November 2014 • 9

NEWS

NEW NARRATIVES CONFERENCE: “I WOULD PERSONALLY COMPARE LETTING THE NEW NARRATIVES GROUP MEET AT THE Q CENTER TO ALLOWING A GROUP OF ‘EX-GAYS,’ SUCH AS EXODUS INTERNATIONAL MEET THERE.” Continued from page 6

the latter opened its space to non “women-born-women.”

“Inspired” by Radfems Respond, New Narratives organizer Gender Minefield wrote, “we wanted to put on an event that would be just as innovative, except geared toward trans women.” (It is assumed that “Gender Minefield” and “Snowflake Especial” are pseudonyms used by the New Narratives organizers to preserve their anonymity.)

In their write ups of the event, Minefield and fellow organizer Snowflake Especial seem to lament the current state of trans activism, with Especial stating, “It took twenty years of queer theory pomo nonsense, anti-feminist backlash, porn culture, and men’s rights activism to get trans politics into the sorry state it’s in today, where every day on Tumblr I read young queer activists write gibberish like ‘A trans woman with a full beard and a giant dick is just as much of a woman as my mom, if she says so,’ with a straight face. Like, really???”

This sort of reactionary rant is an Especial specialty judging by her Tumblr, where she stakes out contrarian “Gender Critical” positions that run in opposition to the current goals of trans activists, such as insisting trans women are biologically male, or that trans women who have raped women be housed in men’s prisons.

Fellow New Narratives organizer Minefield espouses a similar outlook. In a Tumblr post-dated May 3, 2014, she articulates the crux of her view of trans identity. “The blanket statement ‘all trans women are women’ is not useful because it does not accurately describe the experiences of trans women as a group,” they state. “Trans women who are read as their birth sex are treated like gender nonconforming males; not women.

I’m not saying it isn’t painful, I’m saying that’s reality.”

Minefield also asserts that no means of medical intervention can fundamentally alter the biological state of maleness or femaleness within an individual; furthermore, the condition of being brought up socialized into the mores of a given sex precludes a trans person from being able to claim that they had “always been” their true gender. “When I was little, I acted in ways that I learned were considered feminine,” Minefield gives as a personal example in the May 3 Tumblr post. “I also learned that since I was a male and hence a boy, this was unacceptable. When I got older, I still acted in ways that were considered odd, but mainly because I was perceived (correctly) to be male. So there was no way I could have known ‘how it feels to be a woman’ because I’d never been treated like one. Similarly, there was no way I could know how it feels to be female, since I never had (and never truly will have) a female body. My body has been feminized through transition, but it’s not the same thing.”

In the view of Minefield, this sensibility is one that is healthy for trans and cis people alike to embrace. “Accepting all of these facts has allowed me to make peace with a lot of things about being trans that used to trouble me, and I’ve achieved much greater consistency in my thinking,” they state. “I honestly believe that a more

realistic approach to conceiving transness will lead to healthier outcomes for us, physically and mentally; as well as allowing us to co-exist ethically and respectfully with women born female.”

It’s views like these Williams speaks of when saying, “There is no ideological difference between the TERF and Gender Critical Feminist movement; they are one in the same. Gender Critical Feminism teaches that because sex is a binary, intersex people are actually deformed men and women and trans people are always the sex they were assigned at birth.”

In this way, Williams views TERFs and Gender Critical Feminists as having more in common with conservative Christians than with either the feminist or LGBTQ communities. “If one were to substitute ‘nature’ for ‘god,’ the sex essentialism found in the TERF, Gender Critical Feminist crew is somewhat similar to the sex essentialism found in right-wing ideology,” she says.

“It is therefore not uncommon to find anti-gay propaganda mills and Tea Party politicians quoting TERF and Gender Critical Feminists and TERF and Gender Critical Feminists quoting anti-gay Tea Party propagandists. Just as right-wingers have token gay people, the TERF and Gender Critical Feminist crew has token trans people. Likewise, the Gender Critical Feminist/TERF movement, much like other sex essentialist ideologies, encourages trans people to detransition.”

TransActive Gender Center Communications Coordinator Kit Crosland similarly finds Minefield’s Sex Essentialist views problematic and potentially harmful to the public’s understanding of trans issues. “I find (Minefield’s) statement to be pretty absurd: ‘The blanket statement “all trans women are women” is not useful because it does not accurately describe the experiences of trans women as a group,’” Crosland says.

“Most of the time when we’re talking about women, though, we’re talking about things that are relevant to all women. Issues surrounding misogyny and rape culture hurt all women, whether they are transgender or not. And this is where the blanket statement ‘all trans women are women’ is incredibly useful to help people understand. The statement ‘all trans women are women’ illustrates a very important concept—that while there are certainly trans people who identify outside of the binary as neither men nor women, trans people who do identify within the binary do not belong to some third gender. There are not women and trans women, but rather cis women and trans women, who are all, at the end of the day, women.”

The question of how New Narratives was booked into Q Center is troubling. In her write up following the event, Especial admitted being less than forthcoming with the space’s officials when arranging New Narratives, saying, “We had booked the Q Center in Portland for the event, but we kept things pretty vague with them in advance of the meeting, in case their vision of trans politics conflicted with ours.”

Our interview with Q Center Public Relations Manager Logan Lynn, however, revealed the organizers needn’t

have worried. When presented with information about the Gender Critical views espoused by the conference’s organizers, and their close affiliation to the TERFs who’d organized Radfems Respond, Lynn expressed neither concern about the center’s choice, nor sensitivity toward the trans women and their allies who might be upset about the center’s space being rented to a group so counter to trans women’s interests.

“Q Center rents public space to all kinds of LGBTQ individuals and groups,” Lynn said, “and the agency is not in the business of policing what all of those thousands of people do in their spare time outside of the Center.”

What’s at issue here, of course, is not what the New Narratives attendees were doing in their “spare time outside the Center,” but what they’d come to do while there, which was advance an ideology counter to the goals of trans women affirmation and equality. Like Radfems Respond, New Narratives, of course, had the right to assemble. That Q Center, however, would not even consider whether renting to them might not be in the best interest of the community at large, as the Quaker Friends House had regarding Radfems Respond, seems problematic indeed.

This is especially true given the way TERFs use Gender Critical trans women to support their views. “Both Janice Raymond and TERF author Sheila Jeffreys cite this small meeting as proof positive of some imagined groundswell of trans people who now endorse their anti-trans views,” Williams says. “Of course, these TERF opinion leaders never mention that the ‘conference’ consisted of just eight people. For TERFs, the value of the New Narratives group is purely rhetorical.”

Crosland says he applauds Q Center’s policy of allowing LGBTQ groups with differing viewpoints to meet in their space “to a point,” but stresses that this case has little in common with the Log Cabin Republicans.

“The New Narratives group has ideologies that don’t just differ from ‘mainstream’ LGBTQ ideologies, but that are actively disrespectful to the lives and identities of many folks who fall under the transgender umbrella and counter to much of our recent political progress,” Crosland says.

“Providing space for people to discuss and promote these ideologies may appear to support diversity within our community, but it is also in staunch contradiction to the stated vision of the Q Center of ‘[a] broadened positive perception of LGBTQ people.’”

“I would personally compare letting the New Narratives group meet at the Q Center to allowing a group of ‘ex-gays,’ such as Exodus International meet there. They are both LGBTQ-centered groups, but they both have staunchly anti-LGBTQ messages. No group that actively dismissed or undermines the identities of such a large number of LGBTQ individuals can be said to support the Q Center’s vision of broadening positive perception of our community.”

Always have supported LGBT rights, Always will.

10 • Octobe/November 2014

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October/November 2014 • 11

NEWS

KENDALL CLAWSON PROMOTED TO GOVERNOR KITZHABER’S DEPUTY CHIEF OF STAFF

By George T. Nicola, Gay and Lesbian Archives of the Pacific Northwest

The August announcement of Kendall Clawson’s promotion to Governor John Kitzhaber’s Deputy Chief of Staff, Community Engagement was greeted with cheers in Oregon’s LGBTQ community. It is a continuation of Kendall’s contributions to our state and as a role model for countless other Oregonians.

After working for several non-profits elsewhere in the country, Kendall moved to Portland in 2008 for a job as Executive Director of Portland’s Q Center. In that position, she did impressive work developing the Center and expanding its services.

In early 2011, Kendall left Q Center to become a member of Governor John Kitzhaber’s Director of Executive Appointments. There, Kendall was responsible for working with the Governor to recruit and make appointments to 312 boards, commissions, task forces, and work groups. Ken-

dall was also given a secondary role as the Governor’s Arts and Culture Policy Advisor.

As an African American lesbian, Kendall has a deep understanding of the importance of diversity and inclusion. When Kendall took the appointments job, only 6% of the people in those positions were people of color. Now, that percentage is 22%. During that time, the percentage of women in these positions rose from 17% to 48%. Appointments have included the full range of the LGBT spectrum.

The first ever transgender people were appointed. The first African American was appointed to the Fish and Wildlife Commission, and he happens to be a gay man!

Kendall was the subject of a feature article in PQ Monthly’s April 2012 edition. (http://www.pqmonthly. com/from-water-to-mississippi-to-sa lem/2258) In August of this year, PQ Monthly’s owner Brilliant Media designated Kendall a member of its Brilliant List for the “positive impact” she has made on the Pacific Northwest LGBTQ community.

OREGON STATE BAR COSPONSORS CONTINUING EDUCATION CLASS “LGBT RIGHTS IN OREGON: A HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE”

By George T. Nicola, GLAPN

On September 4, OGALLA: The LGBT Bar Association of Oregon; GLAPN (Gay & Lesbian Archives of the Pacific Northwest); and Oregon State Bar Diversity & Inclusion Department jointly sponsored a class entitled “LGBT Rights in Oregon: A Historical Perspective.” The session qualified for continuing legal education (CLE) credits required of Oregon State Bar members. It was also videotaped and will be placed online so that attorneys who could not attend in person can still access the CLE. The class was arranged by OGALLA Co-Chair Kevin Clonts, who opened the session with brief introductions of the participants. I then gave a PowerPoint presentation on the legal history of LGBT people in Oregon. I was hon-

ored to be followed by a panel discussion by five of Oregon’s finest legal minds, all of them openly LGBT: Judge Lynn Nakamoto was appointed to the Oregon Court of Appeals in 2011, and won the statewide election to retain that position in 2012. She is our state’s first, and still only, Asian American appellate judge.

Retired Judge Janice Wilson was Oregon’s first openly LGBT judge. In May of 1992, she became the first openly LGBT person elected to public office in Oregon.

University of Oregon Law Professor Dominick (Dom) Vetri was the recipient of the 2012 University of Oregon Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Award. He was also the drafter of Eugene’s 1977 Human Rights Law, the first Oregon citywide non-discrimination law that applied to both public and private institutions

Charles (Charlie) Hinkle was lead counsel in Burton v.

Cascade School District Union High School No. 5, the first lawsuit filed by a teacher successfully claiming LGBT discrimination. Hinkle was also the recipient of the ACLU of Oregon’s inaugural Charles F. Hinkle Award.

Cindy Cumfer is a pioneering attorney and activist. She was the recipient of the 1996 Oregon State Bar Membership Service Award.

OGALLA is one of the oldest LGBT organizations in Oregon. Founded in January of 1991, it was created as a statewide organization to support the needs of sexual minorities and gender non-conforming people in the legal profession. For more on OGALLA, please see their web site at http://www.ogalla.org/. For more on GLAPN, please see http://glapn.org/.

OREGON STATE BAR SPONSORS CLASS ON MARRIAGE EQUALITY

By George T. Nicola, GLAPN

The Oregon State Bar (OSB) Diversity Section presented a September 25 Continuing Legal Education (CLE) class entitled “Marriage Equality: Looking Back, Looking Forward” in downtown Portland.

Mariann Hyland, the Director of OSB’s Diversity & Inclusion Department, started the session with a description of the content and the introduction of the two speakers, both of whom are openly LGBT. The Honorable Beth Allen, a Multnomah Circuit Court Judge, began with a history of efforts to bring same-gender marriage to Oregon and to other states. Prior to taking the bench, Judge Allen was in private practice that included work for Basic Rights Oregon (BRO). She had also served on the Board of Portland’s Q Center.

Judge Allen was followed by Lake James Perriguey, the attorney who initiated Geiger v. Kitzhaber. Geiger v.

12 • Octobe/November 2014

Kitzhaber was the lead federal case (consolidated with trailing case Rummell v. Kitzhaber) that overturned Oregon’s ban on same-gender marriage. Mr. Perriguey discussed in detail his filing of the Geiger law suit and his strategies that brought a successful conclusion.

Judge Allen then discussed some practical current issues still facing Oregon same-gender couples today.

Both Judge Allen and Mr. Perriguey were past beneficiaries of the Bill & Ann Shepherd Legal Scholarship Fund of Equity Foundation. The scholarships are awarded to a select group of third and fourth year law students dedicated to donating their legal expertise to fighting bigotry and discrimination, particularly in the area of sexual orientation and gender identity.

The Marriage Equality class had excellent attendance. It was particular significant because it was initiated and sponsored by the Oregon State Bar, rather than by an advocacy group that is LGBT identified. pqmonthly.com

STYLE FEATURES

TRANSITIONS

TURN A LOOK: BABY, I’M FALLING FOR YOU

By Sally Mulligan, PQ Monthly

A change in seasons means it’s time to change up your look. This can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people, and especially to queer people who have not only embraced fashion as an art form, but as a truly radical form of self expression. So what’s the next logical (or illogical) step into the sartorial abyss? Well, I’ve been meditating on it, and here are my thoughts. I’d love to hear yours, and to see y’all queermos taking up space, making noise, and looking good while doing it!

SHAPESHIFTING I love living in a community of body positivity, full of a diverse group of people who accept each other. We are able not only to shirk the tired old ideas of what bodies are supposed to do and look like, but also create new narratives centered around respect for ourselves and each other. We don’t need mainstream fashion articles telling us how to attain an hourglass shape, or how to look more muscular, or taller. We can forge our own ideas about art, bodies, and what that looks like.

So as the year comes to a close, why don’t you challenge your own socialized aesthetics around beauty? Emphasize your “flaws” in a way that you find beautiful, because what the hell is a flaw anyway? Play up your fat rolls, your flat chest, your whatever the hell you’ve felt self conscious about before you had an amazing safety net of amazing queer people around who love you and validate you. Appearances cannot

be flawed, at least in the way we are used to thinking about it. So what if you tried a bold print? I hear horizontal stripes look great on everyone! Or a jacket with huge shoulder pads?

A greasy face and runny mascara? The world is yours, you can wear what you want as you move through it.

FEEL ME UP As the temperatures drop, it would be entirely impractical for me to write a fall fashion article without advice on how to keep warm. So as much as I regret encouraging any of us to cover up, let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about cropped sweaters with long jackets, booty shorts with wool tights, funky grandma jackets, and don’t forget about long, tight dresses. You can always find a cheap one. I would also like to go on the record as saying leather motorcycle jackets will never go out of style.

Let’s talk about more exciting textures for this fall and winter. Luckily you don’t need to shell out a ton of money to dress in clothes that are soft and luxurious-feeling. A granny­ style afghan shawl over a wool peacoat, a bomber jacket lined with fuzz, or a wooly bodysuit underneath a chiffon caftan (or layered a million different ways) will do you wonders when it’s time to crawl out of bed into the frosty world. And we’re still doing socks with sandals, right? Right.

PROPORTION PLAY I find myself admiring all the fun and exciting way you queers play with proportion and silhouette. A baggy, sheer top with tighter­than­anything pants, a full, floor length skirt

with a tight crop top, and, of course, a suit fit for a power bitch (broad-shouldered jackets with pencil skirts and really mean heels.) And I love a “mismatched” proportion as well baggy sweaters paired with even baggier pants, or a bodysuit tucked into leggings. If you’re giving this look a whirl, try layering a long coat or robe under a cropped jacket, or wearing spandex from head to toe with a grandpa cardigan on top. And never underestimate the power of a Texas Tux (that’s denim on denim on denim, if you’re not familiar.)

EXTREME CLICHÉ Remember high school? Yeah, I tried to block it out too.

But aside from all the teen angst and math classes, I am really into this idea of canonizing the stereotypical fashion of teenage social cliques. You queers do it best. Whether rocking a preppy plaid with a bowtie or jock look, you make it your own. You make it artful. Whether you were a nerd, a jock, a band geek, or any of the others from the motley crew of “Breakfast Club” characters, own it. Push it to the extreme.

Embrace your adolescence as an unwavering symbol of your ability to survive, and wear it like a badge of honor. But, like, literally wear it. Think about all the ways you can reconcile the pains of youth with who you are now, and then dress the part. Moving on and letting go does not mean getting rid of any sum of your parts, and you can express that through the looks you turn. So, what looks are you most excited to rock this fall? My wish for all of us this fall (and, ya know, forever) is that we can embrace fashion as a cultural phenomenon and an accessible form of self-expression.

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October/November 2014 • 13

FEATURE

VOICES

ID CHECK Deconstructing Gender (While Living It)

By Leela Ginelle, PQ Monthly

LIFE IS GOOD. ENJOY THE RIDE!

www.paradiseh-d.com • 10770 SW Cascade Avenue, Tigard • 503-924-3700 14 • Octobe/November 2014

In the introduction to her essay collection “Deviations,” second generation feminist Gayle Rubin describes gender in our culture as the aggregation of “chromosomal sex, hormonal exposure, internal reproductive organs, external genitalia and psychological identifications.”

Rubin doesn’t argue, as her contemporaries sometimes did, that gender is merely an outcome of social conditioning or, more pejoratively, “brainwashing.” She instead highlights the arbitrary way in which these varied components have been lumped, and some might argue, reduced, to two prescriptive sets: male and female.

Reflecting on my transition, Rubin’s quote can read like an old to-do list: Hormonal exposure? Taken care of. Internal reproductive organs? Removed . . . And so on.

The one mystery it contains, I find—the item that can be neither “fixed” nor fixed— is “psychological identifications.” On a basic level, it’s straightforward: when I learned what a female was, I announced I was female, and, because trans identities weren’t recognized, my identifications were not affirmed.

On a deeper level, though, and considering Rubin’s thesis about the top-down binary assignment of “identity” our culture practices, and its supersession of “psychological identifications,” my mind boggles. What if, rather than encountering two opposite, supposedly distinct options upon discovering my gender identity, I’d been presented with a boundless palette? What if my identifications had been given free reign?

If the five components Rubin lists were seen as separate, if they were simply present and the possession of each person, rather than some automatic induction into the lifetime job of being “female” or “male,” and one could discover and affirm their own gender expression as they chose, it’s almost unimaginable what variety and freedom we might encounter.

In our culture, however, gender expression is freighted with many meanings, involving class distinction, sexual identity, professional status, and so on. Being seen as who a person “is” involves reading all these codes, and using one’s fashion and grooming choices to communicate back to the world.

For this reason, I can have a head full of gender theory and be actively dismantling binary roles with my mind, and still feel a secret thrill when someone calls me “she” or “her.” “I did it!” I’ll think; “it” meaning presented myself as I see myself inside.

In that way, I’m living two places: the world around me, where “she” and “her” are vast improvements on what I was called throughout my enforced maledom and torturous

early transition, and the world I can imagine, where gender is not a system that works adequately, if not ideally, for the majority of people, and dismally or not at all for those in the trans* umbrella.

The inherent injustice of the current binary system, which benefits cisgender people while penalizing trans* folk, as seen in statistical outcomes involving unemployment, housing discrimination, homelessness, incarceration, and so forth, leads to my musing about hitting some mythical reset button that unshackles gender expression and identity from all other social categories, and frees people to discover whatever presentation feels authentic to themselves without worrying over any negative repercussions.

It’s probably a basic human impulse to try to spare others the pain one’s endured themself. Having not been believed when I announced my identity, having been policed by those around me, and learned to police myself, as though my gender was something shameful, and having unlearned those messages through years of painful, tedious self-reflection, my thoughts seem to bend these days toward some reforms that might spare any other youth from living through what I have.

With every transgender homecoming queen, and each new school district that announces trans-friendly policies, I can see that such an outcome is likely, and that the rigid world I grew up in is crumbling. The prohibitions that shackled me, and at times still ring in my head, like ghosts, or phantom enemies, might have no resonance or meaning to a young person today, which makes me feel both happy and old.

It doesn’t completely change my day-today experience, however, in a world where transgender representation is new and minimal, and non-binary representation all but nonexistent—in a world, as well, where “woman” means “cisgender woman,” and most people don’t know what “cisgender” means. It’s probably unsurprising that, feeling so marginalized, I turn to deconstruction, and utopian fantasies.

Deconstruction and utopian fantasies have their purpose, though, I believe. When Gayle Rubin wrote her essay, a transgender rights movement was likely unimaginable, just as, when I started transitioning, a parent affirming their trans child was beyond my conception. Each step starts with someone questioning why things are the way they are, and conceiving of what might be better.

Reading words like Rubin’s today makes me happy, as they remind me how illusionary, unfounded and dumb our culture’s rules about gender are, and how fun it is to watch them change.

Leela Ginelle is a playwright and journalist living in Portland, OR. You can write her at leela@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

pqmonthly.com

October/November 2014 • 15

EVENTS

YOUR ANNUAL HALLOWEEN TO-BOO LIST Get in or on a good costume for their fall party and get a discount at the door. We want you to think long and hard about how you’re going to make plaid scary (or scarier than it already is, depending on your perspective.) DJ Freddy King of Pants (SEA) DJ Hold My Hand (PDX), photos by Wayne Bund, Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave, $4 in plaid or costume, $6 without, 9:30pm.

Halloween in this town often — almost always — feels gigantic, even bigger than Pride: the costumes, the soirees, the energy. (Perhaps it’s the SAD and/or the wine talking, but I stand by my declaration.) All Hallow’s Eve brings out the best — and most creative — Portland has to offer, and the events and parties are usually more than equal to the creative task.

This year, the day itself falls on a Friday, but Portland is getting things started the weekend before, so there’s all manner of party going on in the days and moments leading up to October 31. Here’s a smattering of our best Halloween bets (and for even more events, check our calendar on page 17): MONDAY, OCTOBER 20: The days are getting shorter, darker, and cooler, but it’s still an excellent time to get your active socializing on. Gay Skate is a joy. Meet queers and mingle with them outside the bar setting — maybe your dream lover will ask you to hold hands during couples’ skate. And there are themes now! Themes!

(Count on Halloween Madness for this month’s festivities.)

Come dressed to impress and wine beautiful prizes, and look for our publisher, who’s always handing out copies of PQ. And, you know, you’ll probably get a date. Food drive for Take Action Inc. 7pm, Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way. $6.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24: Lumbertwink is back! Now a Portland institution, they’re scaring up some good times for their big Halloween Edition!

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 26: Each and every week, Superstar Divas. This Sunday, it’s a special Halloween edition. So join Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Topaz Crawford, Isaiah Tillman, and guest stars as they perform your favorite pop, Broadway, and country hits — with more than a dash of seasonal splendor.

Dance floor opens after the show. The Drag Queen Hunger Games are over, and the shows must go on! Check out the newest and freshest Diva hits.

8pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 25: Hex: A Homo Halloween Party and Queer Cover Bands Show. Come out in your costume for a big gay party at Slabtown Portland. Live cover band lineup: THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30 Heart On (Heart), Down On Her M i s s Ke n n e d y ’s T h e Corner (CCR), PGay Harvey (PJ ater of Burlesque brings Harvey), and one more TBA. back “The Rocky Horror Pastie Live show followed by the dirtShow “ to the historic Star Theiest dancing you can manifest. ater Portland. Now in its fourth DJ’s TBA. 8pm, Slabtown, 1033 year, The Rocky Horror Pastie NW 16.

Show has become a tradition Gula’s House of Whores and among Rocky Horror and burBlow Pony all rolled into one. lesque fans alike. In case you The kick off to the Halloween missed them before and espeseason—last year, Gula Delcially if you didn’t, you’ll truly gatto, the ghost mistress of the be shivering with anticipation house, wrecked the stage with as they bring you a live stage her girls from the other side. This adaptation of Rocky Horror year, Nicholas Hongola will fill with a little less dialogue and you with terror and delight as he a LOT more T&A. Starring Zora narrates the ghost story of how Phoenix, among many others.

Gula and her girls made it to 7pm, Star Theater, 13 NW the other side in “Gula’s House Sixth. Tickets and info here: of Whores: Before the Grave, a https://public.ticketbiscuit.

Ghost Story.” Starring Gula Delcom/StarTheaterPortland/ gatto, Shitney Houston, Stacy Stl Lisa, Wolfgang Sebastian Blood- The kick off to the Halloween season—last year, Gula Delgatto, the ghost mistress of Ticketing/213748.

Do you have a few coshawk III. Blow Pony’s Seventh the house, wrecked the stage with her girls from the other side. tumes ready? We certainly Annual Homoween, with deejays Airick X, Kasio Smashio, Fingerbang, Stormy Roxx, Just hope so. We’ll see you out and about!

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GET OUT! VOICES

There is never enough room to list all the events we’d like in our print edition — check online for our weekly weekend forecast, which often has all the latest and greatest.

PQ PICKS

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 17 Dungeons and Drag Queens: “Across faraway lands, worlds that don’t even go together, a group of unlikely heroes will band together for a singular cause to save humanity!” Or something like that...What happens when you take one of the most famous RPGs in the world and cross it with comedy camp, glamour, and heels? You get this event. This is not your average basement scene starring the elf, the barbarian, the mage and the thief. These characters have been sent to wardrobe and hair to get a sprucin’ up, and they are ready for their close up. But not too close, you might get a dice roll attack you’re not even ready for. Like not even. So not even. Tickets: http://dungeonsanddragqueens.brownpapertickets.com/.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19 Just in time for the Halloween season, the Broadway Bears will debut their newest charity concert at Q Center.

In it, called “Stage Fright,” the Bears will perform spooky songs from the musical realm of stage and screen. In their entertaining work vocalizing male and female villain and horror roles, from comedy to pathos, they will show that talent comes in all sizes…and embraces furry faces.The members of Broadway Bears, “Portland’s Furriest Singers,” are Andy Mangels, Cory Clinton, Darin MacLeod, Johnny Cakes Amundson, and Mark Steering, accompanied by David Hastings. The members of the quintet have decades of stage experience encompassing theatrical, choral, opera, television, film, and teaching arenas.

The Bears were founded in mid-2011 by Andy Mangels, and the group performed charitable concerts and at local events in 2012-2014, including a popular and bravura performance at the 2014 return of Peacock in the Park. With all-live singing in solos, duet, trio, and group numbers, the “Stage Fright” concerts will include horror and villain-themed songs from The Nightmare Before Christmas, Wicked, Gilbert & Sullivan’s The Sorceror, The Little Mermaid, Little Shop of Horrors, Jekyll & Hyde, Chicago, Bat Boy: The Musical, The Phantom of the Opera, A Connecticut Yankee, Witches of Eastwick, The Rocky Horror Show, Lestat, Silence! The Musical, Sweeney Todd, and Hocus Pocus! Both concerts will benefit The Q Center, Portland’s LGBTQ Community Center, and SMYRC: The Sexual Minorities Youth Resource Center. The concerts will be all-ages-friendly, though there will be some dark content and adult language in the second act. Alcohol and refreshments will be served in Q Center’s art gallery.

6pm, Q Center, 4115 N. Mississippi. $15/$10 student/ senior/$5 under 12.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 20 The days are getting shorter, darker, and cooler, but it’s still an excellent time to get your active socializing on. Gay Skate is a joy. Meet queers and mingle with them outside the bar setting — maybe your dream lover will ask you to hold hands during couples’ skate. And there are themes

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now! Themes! (Check online for the latest — but count on Halloween Madness for this month’s festivities.) Come dressed to impress and wine beautiful prizes, and look for our publisher, who’s always handing out copies of PQ. And, you know, you’ll probably get a date. Food drive for Take Action Inc. 7pm, Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way. $6.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 23 Totes Hilars is a comedy variety show and this time they have some spooky drag and stand up. Come as you are or dress to impress — either way you’ll laugh your pants (and panties) off. Featuring: Manuel Hall, Jen Tam, Crystal Davis, Anthony Hudson AKA Carla Rossi, Pagan Holladay, and more.

Hosted by Melody Awesom Azing. Doors are at 7, show at 8, $5-10 sliding scale. Old Town Floyd’s, 118 NW Couch.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24 Dear White People screening. We’ve been waiting a long time for this and we know you have been too! Dear White People is a satire about being a black face in a white place, and the timing of its release couldn’t be more perfect. On the heels of national debate surrounding race politics, police violence and social justice we will be hosting this screening and subsequent discussion time to allow safe space for in-depth conversation about blackness, community healing and how we can move forward together.Check out the trailer: http://www.dearwhitepeoplemovie.com/. Tickets are $12 presale (+ processing fees) or on a $16-$20 sliding scale at the door to cover costs. For free youth tickets please contact Leila Hofstein: pflagpdxyc@gmail.com.

7:30pm, Regal Lloyd Center 10, 1510 NE Multnomah.

Turnt Up! You betta get ready for your life source to get turnt at this one. Bringing all vinyl back to the nightclub, disco legend DJ Bus Station John will hit the decks alongside Turnt Up! resident Sappho. Backing that scene up will be an on-the-dance-floor performance piece by Keyon Gaskin followed by a live set featuring Portland’s Du Og Meg (electro/house/punk). Then it’s all you on the dance floor. Turnt Up! is a club night featuring queers and queer sentiments, live dance music and mind altering atmosphere to help you get your scene right. All are welcome, just come correct, k? (Please no cell phones on the dance floor...Look up, look around, flirt, take your shirt off...keep the dance floor a sanctuary.) 10pm, Lovecraft, 421 SE Grand. $6.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20 A special one night engagement: Portland’s most elegant drag clown, Carla Rossi, hosts a semi-one-woman cabaret telling the story of two star-crossed lovers: Weimar Germany and contemporary America. “Carla Rossi Sings the End of the World” compares the whirling, progressive creativity and freedom of 1920s Berlin with America today via a piano-accompanied songbook of Berlin theatre standards (with pianist Maria Choban), and dance support from cabaret girls The Dolly Pops. The always sincerely-insincere Carla guides the audience through this doomed romance with a winking eye and trademark banter, provoking us to acknowledge what became of Weimar Berlin and asking the question — could that happen to us? This event is presented with ASL interpretation. “Carla Rossi Sings the End of the World” is funded in part by the Regional Arts & Culture Council. 8pm, Alberta Rose Theater, 3000 NE Alberta. $15 advance, $20 at the door.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 18: PFLAG Portland Black Chapter Social and Voting Party. You are invited to our social to enjoy food and drinks and each other. Also, we will be sharing our brand new voter guide that reflects the values of our community. This guide evaluates measures that will appear on the Oregon ballot based on whether it will recognize and support families of all kinds and protect individuals and families from discrimination, racial profiling, and harassment. Bring your questions, bring your ballot, and if able, please bring a dish to share! 12pm, In Other Words, 14 NE Killingsworth.

FEATURES Want more? We’ll give you everything. Head over to pqmonthly.com and check out our online calendar of events, submit your own events, and peruse photos from your reporters-about-town. Also, remember to carefully examine our weekly weekend forecast — with the latest and greatest events — each Wednesday (sometimes Thursday), online only.

--DANIEL BORGEN

DANCE IT OUT FIRST SUNDAYS Bridge Club. A slew of stellar deejays play music on the city’s most treasured patio. Old Boys Club regularly welcomes special guests. Snack, mingle, get down. Bridge club is delighted about its permanent new home— Vendetta! 3pm, Vendetta, 4306 N Williams. Free (On hiatus until Spring.)

EVERY SUNDAY. Superstar Divas. Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Topaz Crawford, Isaiah Tillman, and guest stars perform your favorite pop, Broadway, and country hits. Dance floor opens after the show. The Drag Queen Hunger Games are over, and the shows must go on! Check out the newest and freshest Diva hits. 8pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free!

FIRST THURSDAYS Hip Hop Heaven. Bolivia Carmichaels hosts this hip-hopheavy soiree night every Thursday night at CCs. Midnight guest performers and shows. 9pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free.

FIRST SATURDAYS Sugar Town. DJ Action Slacks. Keywords: Soul, polyester. 9pm, The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42. $5.

SECOND THURSDAYS I’ve Got a Hole in My Soul. Three keywords, the most important being: DJ Beyondadoubt. Others: soul, shimmy. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5.

SECOND TUESDAYS Bi Bar—every second Tuesday at Crush, and it’s an open, bi-affirming space for music and mingling. Correction: Bi/Pan/Fluid/Queer. 8pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

SECOND FRIDAYS Slo Jams is a Queer Modern R&B & Neo Soul Dance Night at Local Lounge. DJ II TRILL (TWERK) and DJ MEXXX-TAPE lay down everything from Mary J // Jagged Edge// Keyshia to Badu//Lauryn Etc. 10pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.

SECOND SATURDAYS Hot Flash: Inferno. (Second and Fourth Saturdays) In the heart of Portland is where the women are—dancing the night away and burning up dance floors the second and fourth Saturdays of every month at Trio. Welcoming all women, queers, and their allies. 6pm-10pm, Trio, 909 E. Burnside.

Mrs.: The queen of theme welcomes its new hostess, KajAnne Pepper! And dynamic DJ duo: Beyondadoubt and Ill Camino. Costumes, photo booths, all the hits. 10pm, Mississippi Studios, 3939 N. Mississippi. $5.

SECOND SUNDAYS Beat It at Black Book: A beautiful new queer night all for you at one of the city’s most exciting new(ish) venues.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 23: LookBook, the event. This is not a dance party.

(But they won’t stop you if you do.) This event is all about dressing up, having cocktails, and listening to amazing music all while surrounded by other fashion freaks. Each month we will pay homage to a style, a trend, a designer that we feel inspires our style and creative spirit. October LookBook celebrates with “Dark Silhouette.” PQ wants to see your take on this. Come dressed to impress. This is not a look, it’s a lifestyle — so say party architects. Hosted by: Gula Delgatto, Shitney Houston, Michael Shaw Talley. Door Hostess: Wolfgang Sebastian Bloodhawk, Music Curator: Roy G Biv. 9pm, Oso Market and Bar, 726 SE Grand.

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A monthly event celebrating everything from beards and tattoos to butch queens. Mark your calendars: second Sundays. Hosted by JC Powers, killer deejays. 7pm, Black Book, 20 NW Third.

THIRD WEDNESDAYS Comedy at Crush: Belinda Carroll and a slew of locals rustle up some funny. Special guests, and Crush’s signature cocktail and food menus. Donations, sliding scale.

(Comics have to eat and drink, too, so give!) 9pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

THIRD THURSDAYS Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-the-day language, music, and elegance. An ease-you-into-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys make the music. Bridge and tunnel patrons have no idea what to do with us when we pour in. Hint: it’s always the Thursday we go to press.

What serendipitous fortune! 10pm, Vault, 226 NW 12.

Free.

THIRD FRIDAYS Ruthless! Eastside deluxe. DJs Ill Camino, Rhienna. Come welcome new resident deejay Rhienna and listen to the fiercest jams all night long. Keyword: cha cha heels.

10pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $3.

THIRD SATURDAYS Burlescape! Burlesque & boylesque wrapped in a taste of tease! Zora Phoenix, Isaiah Esquire, Tod Alan. (And there’s more than that, kids.) Zora is a treat and a treasure—and so are her shows. Try one out! 9pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. $10.

Gaycation: DJ Charming always welcomes special guests. Be early so you can actually get a drink.

Sweaty deliciousness, hottest babes. THE party. Yes, boys, even you can hit on Mr. Charming. We know you want to. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5.

FOURTH FRIDAYS Twerk. DJs ILL Camino and II Trill. Keywords: bring your twerk. The city’s longest-running queer hip hop/R&B party--where artists, deejays, performers come to mix, mingle, and move on the dance floor. Established fun, all night long. 9pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.

FOURTH SATURDAYS Blow Pony. Two giant floors. Wide variety of music, plenty of room for dancing. Rowdy, crowdy, sweaty betty, the one tried and true, even after all these years. 9pm, Rotture/Branx, 315 SE 3. $5.

LAST THURSDAYS Laid Out, Bridgetown’s newest gay dance party. Seriously, the posters read: “gay dance party.” And oh, how it’s a gay dance party. Thursdays are a real thing again. Deejays Gossip Cat and Pocket Rock-It, with photos by Eric Sellers. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $3 after 10pm.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24: Lumbertwink is back!

Now a Portland institution, they’re scaring up some good times for their big Halloween Edition! Get in or on a good costume for their fall party and get a discount at the door. We want you to think long and hard about how you’re going to make plaid scary (or scarier than it already is, depending on your perspective.) DJ Freddy King of Pants (SEA) DJ Hold My Hand (PDX), photos by Wayne Bund, Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave, $4 in plaid or costume, $6 without, 9:30pm.

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FEATURES FEATURE

“DON’T LET THE DOCTOR DO THIS TO YOUR INFANT” AUTHOR CHRISTIN MILLOY ON ENDING GENDER ASSIGNMENT AT BIRTH

By Leela Ginelle, PQ Monthly

In June, Toronto-based writer and activist Christin Milloy published “Don’t Let the Doctor Do This to Your Newborn” on Slate.com. Her article presented gender assignment at birth as a mysterious, potentially life-threatening procedure forced upon new parents—a realistic view, given the alarmingly high suicide attempt rates reported by trans people mis-assigned during this process.

The article, which was met with venomous opposition, clearly struck a nerve, and introduced an idea we’ll likely hear much more about in the years to come. We spoke recently to Milloy about her article, how gender assignment harms trans children, and her vision of abolishing gender as a legal category.

PQ: The first thing people often ask when they learn someone is pregnant is what gender the baby is. As a trans person, I can recognize how harmful the practice of gender assignment at birth has been to my life, but I don’t think culture at large has any idea. What’s your take on the topic now and its place in our society?

CM: People gender babies because babies have a physical sex, and people think that sex and gender automatically go hand-in-hand.

To properly understand the identities of trans people, including non-binary, it’s first necessary to understand and accept that a dichotomy exists between the physical sex of a person, and the gender identity they embody.

The traditional ideology, “cissexism,” holds that one’s anatomy leads naturally to a particular gender identity. It is a demonstrably false belief, as evidenced by the existence of trans people. But despite that, it’s still very ingrained in our culture and our traditions—much as we once accepted that the Earth was flat, or that the Sun revolved around it.

PQ: In my view gender assignment at birth essentially means assigning every child a cisgender identity, which trans and non-binary people then have to undo socially and legally through transitioning. It seems to me, then, that for trans equality to be achieved, gender assignment at birth would have to be abolished, so that trans* identities could emerge and be affirmed organically. What are your thoughts on the topic?

CM: In terms of “abolishment,” I believe that de-legislating gender, removing from all lawbooks and regulations any concept of individuals’ having a “legal gender” or sex, is a necessary and positive step forward for our society, one which we must work toward, that will pave the way for dramatically transformative improvements in gender equality and gender diversity in our culture.

I agree wholeheartedly that the widespread, all but universal practice of cissexist infant gendering is hugely problematic for trans persons. It condemns anyone who doesn’t conform with cis identity to enormously challenging and traumatic battles in nearly every aspect of their lives. Just as the personal sense of gender identity emerges organically over time, so too do I hope and expect that the cultural practice of infant gendering will fall out of favor gradually, at least in the secular West, over the next two to four generations.

PQ: Your article was the first I’d seen about this topic, and I was a little shocked by the hostility with which it was met, not just in the comments section on Slate, which, sadly, one might have expected, but in trans forums where it was posted, as well. What are your thoughts on its reception?

CM: Trans people occasionally assimilate aspects of cissexist culture, unintentionally internalizing some of those attitudes into their thought patterns, sometimes without even realizing it. I think it’s because the drive to conform at all costs is beaten into many of us by our life Photo provided by Christin Milloy. experiences, and also by the gatekeeping doctors who blockade us from accessing treatment if we fail to comply with their cissexist expectations.

Many of my detractors who are trans suggested I had “gone too far,” or that I was “being ridiculous.” There’s an attitude some hold that if we push too far or too fast, we’ll lose what limited support we receive from some cis people; that we should therefore moderate our battle for equality in a way that appeases the cis majority by accommodating cis superiority. History teaches the unequivocal ineffectiveness of moderate, apologist approaches to civil rights issues. When someone says “don’t bite the hand that feeds you,” the only possible response is “I am not your pet.”

PQ: The trans movement is experiencing unprecedented success currently, and there seems to be a general sympathy for, and receptiveness toward, our cause in the public at large. That said, this idea is likely as avant-garde to the cultural imagination today as marriage equality was 20 years ago. Is this a goal you can imagine activists pursuing?

CM: First off, it’s very important to define what we’re discussing. Gender is an ideology. It is a standard of behavior, of expression, and a part of one’s identity. It would be

unethical to attempt, and infeasible to enforce, legal interference with a parent’s “right” to impose a gender identity on their infant if they choose to do so. I do not advocate for legal interference in that regard.

However, we can certainly remove sex and gender from all forms of government-issued identification; we can purge it from legislation and databases, and I encourage activists worldwide to pursue this worthy goal. Doctors would, of course, continue to diagnose a baby’s physical sex, along with other birth statistics such as weight.

However, with the legal formality nullified, that designation would no longer follow, and potentially stigmatize, the individual for the rest of their life.

PQ: Your article cleverly presents gender assignment as a “procedure” resulting in depression, social ostracism and possibly suicide. The dysphoria I experienced in puberty, and the overwhelming social anxiety that accompanied transitioning, were equally traumatic for me; both could have been avoided had my gender been accepted when it emerged, rather than overridden by birth assignment. Would you like to say anything about how this personally affected your life?

CM: Quite frankly, I feel my childhood was stolen from me. I always felt I identified more with girls and wanted to do “girl things,” but everyone in my life always insisted I was a boy, so I took it as the unchangeable truth. That’s cissexism.

My parents brought me to counselors, who each encouraged me to stand up for myself, “take responsibility” for my bullying; that it was happening to me “because of my behavior.” I was told by figures in authority that it was my own fault, that I must learn to “be a man,” something I absolutely could not manage to do no matter how hard I tried. For years, I lived a sort of misery I would never wish on anyone. I often fantasized that I possessed constitution and willpower sufficient to the act of suicide.

All of this was forced on me, because the world decided I was a boy without my input or consent. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind I would have been a very happy little girl, if anyone had ever thought to ask me with an open mind and open heart.

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FEATURE PERS{ECTOVES

NEW VISION WEST COAST FORCES TRANS PERSON TO “EXPLAIN” GENDER, RESCINDS JOB OFFER

By Leela Ginelle, PQ Monthly

Sorin Thomas, a transgender person who identifies as gender neutral, has filed a discrimination claim against New Vision West Coast, Inc., a company that offers wil-

pqmonthly.com

derness therapy to at risk adolescents and young adults in Bend, OR. Thomas alleges xe was offered a position at New Vision after spending several days working with the youth there and being observed by the staff, but that the offer was rescinded after Thomas’s disclosure that xe is transgender.

(Thomas goes by the pronouns xe/xyr/xem).

Thomas, who has a Master’s degree from Naropa University, interviewed with New Visions in late-April, and was invited to the in-person interview in May. Thomas traveled from Boulder, CO to Bend, OR on xyr own money, spending five days in the field with the company’s youth groups.

Xe says that during this interview time, xe felt nothing but support and acceptance from xyr potential co-workers.

“I felt safe enough with New Vision staff during my observation period to out myself and communicate my need for a open and safe work environment,” Thomas says. “Todd (Merrill, New Vision’s Program Dierctor) assured me that New Vision was an inclusive work place and even said ‘of course you want to be your genuine self at work and we want you to show up genuinely.’”

On Thomas’s second day in Bend, according to xyr complaint, New Vision’s Lead Field Therapist Elizabeth Deardorff asked Thomas, “Would you take this job if we offered it to you? Because I talked to Drew (Hornbeck, New Vision President/Co-Founder), and we would like to offer you the job.”

Xe enthusiastically said “yes.

On Thomas’s last day in Bend, xe was formally offered a position by Merrill, according to xyr complaint. This was fol-

lowed by an email three days later inquiring whether Thomas was “available/interested to come to work this next shift.”

The sense of joy and accomplishment Thomas felt at securing this new position quickly evaporated later that day, however, during a call with New Visions co-founder and owner Steve Sawyer. Thomas says xe knew “immediately” that Sawyer intended to discriminate against xem on the basis of gender.

“During our phone conversation, Steve referred to me as ‘a final candidate’ even though Todd had already offered me the job and I was scheduled to start work in 4 days,” xe says.

“That was my first internal hit that something was wrong. It was clear that Todd informed Steve of my request to be out at work and, in his own words, Steve had ‘concerns that my gender identity might negatively impact clients.’”

Sawyer requested Thomas write a letter “reflecting” on how xyr gender identity would affect the clients at New Visions, something Thomas says was never asked of any other applicant at New Vision regarding gender, sexuality, ethnicity or religion. “I was shocked, hurt, and humiliated by the request,” xe says “I felt personally attacked in a situation where only my professional skills should have been under scrutiny. Although I complied with the request, my hands shook as I tried to explain that my gender identity would not prevent me from being effective therapist.”

Thomas’ lawyer Lake Perriguey asserts that requesting this letter constitutes gender discrimination on Sawyer’s part. “To be asked to write a paper about how your gender NEW VISION WEST COAST page 20

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NIGHTLIFE

NEW VISION WEST COAST Continued from page 19

identity is going to affect customers is illegal and humiliating,” Perriguey says. “Sorin did it, because xe was eager to begin this new opportunity in a field xe had trained for.”

Thomas phoned Merrill after xyr phone call with Sawyer, explaining the latter’s request, and was assured New Vision would place xem in the field with clients within a week.

Soon after, however, communication dried up.

“Steve never responded to my reflection letter,” xe says.

“In fact, the only response that I received in the two weeks after I was offered the job was an email from Todd stating, ‘I am deferring clinical hiring over to Steve,’ and two emails from Steve stating, ‘I have been busy,’ and, ‘We are still reviewing and interviewing current applicants. If you need to move forward on other opportunities we certainly understand.’”

“At that point, I recognized a few things,” Thomas says.

“One, that the issue was me, personally, not my professional skills. Two, that no one was going to acknowledge that I had been offered the job, nor was anyone going to offer it again. Three, that they were just hoping I’d go away, and, four, that I needed the power of a legal advocate to speak for me because my voice was being silenced, my power crushed, and my rights violated.”

Thomas’s claim has been filed with the Bureau of Labor and Industries (BOLI). New Vision has until the middle of the month to respond. Following their response, BOLI will interview the parties and investigate. If the investigation finds there’s sufficient evidence to support Thomas’s claim a settlement amount will be sought. If BOLI does not rule in Thomas’s favor, Perriguey says they will pursue their claim with a lawsuit, but both he and Thomas stress they don’t imagine that will be necessary.

“All of my correspondence with New Vision has been well documented, including a statement from Steve that my gender was a concern for New Vision during the hiring process,” Thomas says.

“I feel confident I can prove everything in the complaint,” Perriguey adds. “Sorin was the victim of gender discrimination, and we’re going to show that.”

New Vision West Coast did not respond to our requests for comment.

WHISKEY & SYMPATHY

Monika and Gula:

I’ve been seeing this dude casually for a little while now. We don’t really hang out in public — frankly, we pretty much just hang out at each other’s houses and have sex. I have zero interest in having a boyfriend relationship with this guy, although I know that he’s into it and I think he’s hoping that I’ll just come around. Honestly, I just want to keep him as a fuck buddy while I look for someone I actually like. How can I best keep him in the FB zone without hurting his feelings or being a total douchebag?

Cheers, Casual in Kerns

Hey Kerns,

Monika MHz

I want to congratulate you on knowing what you want and need. You’ve gotten to a place where I think very few people ever get to. The majority of conversations I have with people seem to center around them either looking for permission to center their own feelings and needs, or trying to find those things in the first place. So the fact that you are able to honestly assess your needs, and where your relationship is at, is totes refreshing.

The most frequent question we get is the other perspective of this exact question, so we’re usually dropping advice someone’s way who can’t seem to land that person who is “in it.”

I’m going to giggle about inserting a plug and borrow a phrase from my column here at PQ Monthly, OK, Here’s the Deal. The deal here is that I can’t tell you to manipulate this guy to get what you want at his expense. I can’t tell you do dance around the truth because the truth might end this.

The deal here is that I can’t guarantee you a damn thing if it involves anything other than being honest.

Well, that’s not entirely true, I can guarantee you one thing: being dishonest or trying to manipulate a partner is, if anything, stressful. I can guarantee you that you’ll have less emotional energy to invest in looking for, “someone [you] actually like.” As the queen of communication I’d urge you to make progress to some realness in the way you talk to each other. Who knows, maybe he’s into the casual thing and you’ve just picked up on the wrong signals? But not talking about it and blind siding him with this kinda thing is kind of the definition of, “hemorrhoidal behavior.”

I mean sure you can keep having sex while ignoring things, but eventually it’s going to cause a lot of pain and discomfort for one person.

So if you can start making some steps to injecting more honesty into what you’ve got going on with your partner, you can at least spare them some serious heartbreak once they realize this isn’t going anywhere beyond sex. Maybe that’ll be all they need to get permission to throw away the feelings side of things to focus on the squealing side of things. Things might not work out, though, and you’ve gotta put yourself at risk for that happening if you don’t want to be the hemorrhoid in the relationship. Honesty always puts us at risk of not getting us what we want, but I’ve always found that when we do get it the honest was, or at least by way of communication, it sure tastes better.

Love, MHz

Hey Douchebag:

Gula

I don’t know you, but I’m going to give you a little spanking right now. Take a minute and really hear what you are saying here. Would you want someone to say that about you? What would you think of this person if they were talking about your best friend?

“I have zero interest in having a boyfriend relationship with this guy.” “Honestly, I just want to keep him as a fuck buddy while I look for someone I actually like.”

I feel bad for this kid who is wanting anything from you; I’m sure you are giving him just enough to keep him wanting you around. It’s sad our community treats each other like this for sex. This town is full of people thinking “there is someone better right around the corner.” Get on Grinder, everyone there knows your 6 minutes of passion could be all you get.

This is what is happening right now. He is telling his friends all about you. He is blindly in love and his friends are seeing right through it. There is a crowd of people out there that think you are a real dick…

A great way to get that JERK reputation. If you don’t nip this in the bud and tell him what you want, you are helping this kid turn into a bitter, self-conscious, busted self-esteemed fag. I respect an asshole that will be blunt. Say what he wants and leave that decision, to stay and treat you like a dog, up to you.

This is why I know. I have been you. (In my twenties.)

There was a boy, good enough to do, not good enough “to show off.” He would call and ask if I needed anything. I would say, “Cigs, booze and a pizza.” In twenty minutes he was there. He stuck around for some time. Until I met “The One”! He was everything, great job, stylish, nice family, cute apartment, smart and fun and only lived four blocks away.

I found myself always walking to his place, spending more and more time with him and forgot about that “troll” I was leading on. Not returning his call was my sad way of “letting him go.” Fast forward 6 months and I was moving… Not to Siberia, just NE Portland. I started to receive the same treatment I showed my shame fuck. I was wrecked, the pendulum swung and I became the boyfriend of convenience, one that eventually couldn’t get a call back. Karma can be real. Maybe it’s the universe teaching us lessons in empathy. Maybe this is an innate trait of youth… Some don’t grow out of.

I hope you hear me, and you start thinking about how your actions affect others.

P.S. If this letter were written from your dirty little secret, I would spank him too. I would tell him to watch Scary Movie and hear this quote: “With a back-up dancer! I mean that’s nasty. That’s — that’s lower than a security guard. At least security can get you backstage... She don’t love herself.”

XO,, GULA

Need some advice from Monika and Gula? Send your query — with “Whiskey & Sympathy” in the subject line — to info@pqmonthly.com.

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Monika MHz is a DJ, queer trans Latina, and a feminist/Xicanista whose relationship status is “it’s complicated” with dubstep. Kinky, prudish, sexty, or cyber; survival, straight, queer, gay, double queer (with a trans woman), or lesbian — if it’s sex, or a mistake, she’s been there, done that. Monika is an activist working hard for marginalized populations and runs a program offering in-home HIV testing for trans women. When not writing, she’s probably off somewhere making a dick joke or peeing while sitting down, like a champ.

Gula Delgatto’s life began in a small rural farming town in Romaina. She was scouted singing in a rocky field picking potatoes by a producer of a “Mickey Mouse Club” type ensemble. While touring the Americas the group fell apart due to jealousies and drugs. She later transitioned from Vaudeville to starring on the big screen to woman’s prison, and eventually advised the Dali Lama on fashion n-stuff. Currently she’s taking her life knowledge and giving back in an advice column for PQ.

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VOICES

CALENDAR

LIVING OUT LOUD Measuring the Loss of Love

By Kathryn Martini, PQ Monthly

The opening line of Jeanette Winterson’s extraordinary novel “Written on the Body” states, “The measure of love is loss.”

The love story, written from the perspective of an androgynous protagonist, weaves a hot, steamy affair with angst, heartbreak and despair. It wasn’t so much the story that stayed with me so many years after I first read it, but rather that opening line. Through the years those words have echoed in my head and I’ve found them truthfully resounding.

When my now-ex-wife first moved out of our home, I selfishly thought that it would have been easier if she had died instead of leaving me. Of course I never wished any harm to her and as morbid as that may sound, I felt then that at least then I would have looked at our seven years of marriage with honor and sweetness, instead of the bitterness and resentment that eventually arose as part of my grief. It’s difficult to honor a relationship that ended in rejection and a possibility to point blame, and much easier to forgive someone who left the world through death. Loss is loss and the pain of heartbreak, as it is in falling in love, is often a universal experience for people who navigate it.

There are well-documented stages of grief and whether that loss is from a divorce or from death, the process is similar, but often with a different emotional end result.

We measure the kind of love we had by the way it ends; sometimes we even employ revisionist history making (or our exes do) that suddenly changes what the dynamics were of our relationships, even when we were happily in them. Often looking back at a seemingly failed partnership gives us a negative clarity, where more often when reflecting on one that ended via death, it’s the sweet parts that remain in the forefront of our memories. Although many people do manage to “uncouple” without the deep pain of heartbreak, nearly everyone has been in the sad darkness of an ended relationship at least once, and absolutely nothing can shield you from the pain, or move it along faster than it just needs to happen naturally.

Following my divorce, I went through a subsequent break-up a few months ago— he was a “rebound” from my divorce, and although I knew it probably wasn’t a smart idea to enter a new relationship so soon after my marriage ended, I was swept away by the attention and fun he brought to my life. Our connection and “new relationship energy” shined a light on the darkness of my heartbreak and I felt human and alive again. The anguish and torment in my heart was finally, albeit falsely, relieved, as if I had ingested a luxurious happiness drug that lifted me from my grief. What I didn’t con-

sider is a bit of advice a friend shared with me years earlier : pain always waits for you, and whether or not that pain is dealt with in the moment or pushed away into the shadows, it will rise up and show itself, sometimes when it is terribly inconvenient, inappropriate, or even destructive. This is certainly not to say that our relationship wasn’t authentic or meaningful, because it was—I loved him and I wanted him in my life. He was my remedy, my balance, and my tether to normality.

He brought sense and some semblance of structure back to my broken heart, all of which is a lot of responsibility for a person to unwittingly take on for another.

Sometimes rebound relationships become primary, long-lasting ones, but often that is not the case. As much as I hated and obviously didn’t adhere to conventional advice on getting over a break-up, it is probably best for most people to spend some time alone before embarking on new love. I didn’t listen, because it felt much better to be loved than to hurt, but what I realized is that heartbreak, when not healed, will exacerbate like an untreated disease and subsequent exposure will be worse than the last.

My relationship ended, and I felt as if I went back in time to the pain and rejection that I had pushed away from the loss of my marriage over a year before. I didn’t know how to do it again, and I fell into a despair that forced me to face the loss of not just one, but two important relationships that impacted my life in very different ways. There is no guidebook for grief, and traditional wisdom is not for everyone, although friends, family and websites will offer varying degrees of advice that is often difficult to execute—cut off contact, burn all your photos, block him on Facebook, delete her number from your phone, avoid everywhere you may see him—suddenly losing someone completely is a shock and horribly difficult to navigate. It’s like a death, but the person is still out there in the world, without your access.

Heartbreak, like other kinds of trauma, is always worse than can be remembered.

It has to be that way in order for us to continue to love again. Otherwise we would be hard pressed to put ourselves out there to love again, and as humans, we are wired to love and be loved. There is always risk, and no one ever enters a relationship preparing for it to end. There is no promise of happy ever after except in the stories we tell ourselves, but that is not inherently a bad thing.

For without loss, how would we ever measure love?

Kathryn Martini is a Portland writer, author and columnist.

She can be reached through kathrynmartini.com. pqmonthly.com

October/November 2014 • 21

NIGHTLIFE STYLE

OPINION

DR. WEHBY IS BAD MEDICINE FOR WOMEN, LGBTQ OREGONIANS

By Jimmy Radosta, Special for PQ Monthly

“Some of my best friends are gay” is not a campaign position.

Yet that seems to be the cynical approach that Monica Wehby is taking in her race to represent Oregon in the U.S. Senate. She recently released a campaign ad touting the endorsement of one-fourth of the plaintiffs who sued the state for the freedom to marry.

But what she failed to mention—and what PQ Monthly unfortunately didn’t question while interviewing her—was that she was nowhere to be seen when these plaintiffs needed her most.

Wehby was silent during last spring’s court case for marriage equality, because she was too busy trying to appeal to conservatives so she could secure the Republican Party nomination. When progressive Portlanders weren’t paying attention, here is what she said at a primary debate, according to a Baker County newspaper: “The consensus among all candidates was that marriage was between one man and one woman.”

She’s also sending mixed messages about the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which would extend protections to people in 34 states so they can’t be fired based on their sexual orientation or gender identity.

After her campaign announced that she supported the legislation, Wehby sang a different tune when ultraconservative talk radio host Lars Larson asked her about it: She refused to acknowledge the endorsement, claiming that this commonsense bill could lead to “tons of frivolous lawsuits.”

So yes, Wehby may have a couple of LGBTQ supporters, but that doesn’t mean she will advance the needs of the LGBT community. And her inconsistent, shifting positions have revealed her to be a desperate political candidate who will say anything to anyone to get elected.

The same goes for her views on women’s health. Wehby may be a woman and a health care provider, but that doesn’t mean she will advance women’s health. In fact, when it comes to reproductive rights, her

22 • Octobe/November 2014

campaign’s messages have been misleading and inconsistent: Wehby claims to support “a woman’s right to choose,” even though she supports the deeply unpopular U.S. Supreme Court decision allowing corporate bosses like Hobby Lobby to interfere with their employees’ access to birth control. Outrageously, Wehby cites Antonin Scalia as her “ideal” Supreme Court Justice, even though he has repeatedly ruled against women’s rights. She also considers Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn her “mentor,” even though he has called for the execution of abortion providers.

Wehby claims to support “equal pay for equal work,” even though she opposes the Paycheck Fairness Act, which would close loopholes in employment discrimination law so that women receive equal pay for equal work. For every dollar men earned in 2012, Oregon women earned 79 cents— and black and Hispanic women earned even less on average. Wehby even went so far as to claim that the Paycheck Fairness Act “will only exacerbate the problem of discrimination against women.”

Wehby claims she “wouldn’t ever want to do anything that would endanger women’s health,” even though she opposes the Affordable Care Act, which represents the DR.WEHBY page 23

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OPINION

ARTS & CULTURE

DR.WEHBY: “SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE GAY” Continued from page 22

greatest advancement for women’s health in decades.

About 360,000 Oregon women are now eligible for lifesaving preventive care without co-pays; women can no longer be charged more than men for health care; and women can no longer be denied coverage for pre-existing conditions like breast cancer, domestic violence and even pregnancy.

Wehby even went so far as to claim that the Affordable Care Act “disproportionately hurts women more than men.”

Meanwhile, Sen. Jeff Merkley has been a true champion for LGBTQ rights and for women’s health. As the Speaker of the Oregon House of Representatives in 2007, he secured domestic partnerships and employment protections for LGBTQ Oregonians. In just his first term in the U.S. Senate, he carried the torch for the late Ted Kennedy to finally get ENDA passed by his chamber after a two-decade struggle. He supported the Affordable Care Act, which is improving healthcare access for gay men who are disproportionately affected by HIV/ AIDS; lesbians who are disproportionately affected by ovarian cancer; and transgender people who face significant barriers in getting the care they need.

Merkley has also sponsored legislation to fix the Supreme Court decision that allows corporations like Hobby Lobby to deny their employees insurance coverage for birth control because of their personal beliefs. To paraphrase Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: This awful ruling is already creating a “minefield” of ramifications. Secular, for-profit corporations— which hire and serve the general public—now get to pick and choose which laws to follow, simply by claiming a violation of “sincerely held” religious ideology. Bosses could deny a whole host of other medical procedures based on their own personal beliefs—such as HIV/AIDS treatment, vaccines, surgeries, blood transfusions and mental health care. And don’t be fooled that we’re safe here in true-blue Oregon: This fall, voters nearly faced a contentious ballot measure that could have allowed corporations to deny services to same-sex couples.

The choice is clear in this year’s election: Women and LGBTQ Oregonians deserve a senator who represents their values, not by someone who is trying to play political football with their rights. Jeff Merkley has a long record of standing with us—and now it’s our turn to stand with him.

Jimmy Radosta is the Communications Director for Planned Parenthood Advocates of Oregon. For more information visit PPAOregon.org.

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Mouthy & October/November 2014 • 23

FEATURE ARTS & CULTURE

FREEDOM AND INSECURITY: WANDA SYKES TALKS POLITICS, HOLLYWOOD, AND COMING OUT

By Nick Mattos, PQ Monthly

and saying “Today’s the day, I’m going to come out.” It just happened. I was prepared for it — I was already married, and everyone who I was close with and worked with already Wanda Sykes is a very complex woman. Having worked as a stand-up comedian since knew. I was just telling all the strangers in the world at that point.

1987, she’s made a name for herself as one of the funniest people in America, winning PQ: That itself is really refreshing, considering that we’re in an era in which there numerous awards along with the acclaim of audiences and fellow comedians. After coming are coming-out consultants that celebrities hire to craft their message. It’s refreshing that out as a lesbian in 2008, she became a strong advocate for LGBTQ rights, raising funds you were actually deciding to go off-message and be true to yourself. and awareness for such organizations as Detroit’s Ruth Ellis Center. However, she’s also WS: Right, thanks! an expert in national security, raised from a family employed at the Pentagon and her PQ: How has your partner reacted to the increased attention that you’ve received self working for many years as a contractor for the National Security Agency. PQ’s Nick since coming out?

Mattos chatted with Sykes about her view of conflict on WS: She loves it! (Laughs) She loves that I talk about the domestic and international scale, and the dichotomy her and the kids. I think that the first red carpet that she between freedom and insecurity. did when we went to the Emmys, she was like “Oooh!

When are we doing this again?”

PQ Monthly: We’re in a really interesting time when it PQ: And who can blame her? It’s the red carpet of the comes to the nation’s security. What are your thoughts on Emmys! the current state of conflict in the Middle East?

WS: Oh yeah. And she’s a good-lookin’ woman. Very, Wanda Sykes: The whole Middle East is just a mess to very attractive. She enjoys it. me. We go after one group, we take them out of power — PQ: Have you found that coming out has impacted it’s like we’re saying “let’s get the Sunnis out of power and your career? get the Shi’ites into power! No, wait, let’s get the Shi’ites WS: I know it’s made me a better comedian because out of power! Wait, here are the Kurds!” It’s all a mess. now there’s nothing that’s inhibiting me. I can just be Me, I’d just like to put a big partition up and just not go totally free and not think about hiding, or using the right over there. I know it’s not the right thing to do, but I think pronouns. Being totally free is very liberating and makes most Americans are just looking at this like, “Good Lord!” me a better comic. As far as career-wise with movies and I know we have to get the terrorists over there before they acting, I haven’t felt any backlash or anything negative, get over here, but it’s kind of scary when we can’t even get but then again I think if people were making decisions the guy who made his way into the White House while and talking about that, they wouldn’t let me know! Right he was still on the lawn. now, though, I’m very busy, so as far as I know, none.

PQ: It’s interesting in that it’s all occurring in this cli PQ: You mention something interesting about “being mate in which the whole concept of security itself is in free” as a precursor to being able to do one’s job well as question. I mean, we can’t even keep “security” for citia comedian. It seems like “freedom” and “security” are zens in a place like Ferguson, a place within our borders, kind of a dichotomy — that in order to be really free, you and then we’re engaging on the international scale with have to be in a state of insecurity. yet more instability.

WS: I totally agree.

WS: Maybe we should get some of those Ferguson PQ: Do you think that applies more broadly to Amercops to guard the White House lawn, because they’re so ican society, too? In order to be free, that we have to be quick to shoot! (Laughs) in a state of insecurity?

PQ: Looking at your history, you spent so many years WS: Yeah! That’s the thing: to have freedom, it means with stable employment in the NSA, and then went off you’re also exposing yourself to not being totally secure. to become a standup comic — one of the least “secure” I think sometimes we look at it as “freedom means that professions one could choose. Personally speaking, what we have the right to do anything… and defend our counwas it like jumping into a space of insecurity? try.” But it goes both ways! I was reading this morning WS: It wasn’t necessarily a smart move — it was risky about those NRA folks who walk around Target with their to leave a job that was so secure to do something that “I always said that if we really wanted to mess with the NRA, we just need to get a bunch of hard-look- guns — they have the freedom to do this, which makes had no stability and no security at all. I just fell in love ing black guys, gays and lesbians, and Muslims to go join the NRA. They’d be a little upset.” me very insecure. I feel much less secure with them out with standup, and I felt like I had a gift for it. I took a there exercising that freedom. chance, and pursued my dreams, and it seems to have paid off. I always knew, though, PQ: I imagine that, if we had big groups of transpeople of color carrying AK-47s into that if it didn’t pay off and I couldn’t take care of myself doing standup, I was equipped Chili’s, they would almost definitely not be looked at the same way. It’s just not a unito find another job. It was just more important for me to take a risk in order to be happy. form freedom.

PQ: Then you took a further step into insecurity and came out as queer in an industry WS: I always said that if we really wanted to mess with the NRA, we just need to get a where it’s very difficult to be out. In terms of that decision, were you still coming from that bunch of hard-looking black guys, gays and lesbians, and Muslims to go join the NRA. place of inward security, or were you intentionally putting yourself out of your comfort zone? They’d be a little upset.

WS: It wasn’t intentional — it was very organic. It was right after Prop 8 passed, and I Wanda Sykes’ latest standup video, Im’a Be Me, is currently available on DVD. For was at a rally in Vegas where they asked me to speak. I had no intention of getting up there more information, visit WandaSykes.com.

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THE LADY CHRONICLES How to Sun Yourself in Sitges — a European Tell-All (Part 1)

By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly

There’s something extraordinary about Sitges, the small town (known mostly for its film festival and Carnival) that sits just outside Barcelona — and you notice the moment your bare feet touch the beach’s hot sand and you take in the majestic, salty, sea-blue Mediterranean. Standing waist-deep in the warm water, you turn around to wave at your friends, who are having drinks, barside (which also happens to be beachside) — behind them, the ancient Iglesia de San Bartolomé y Santa Tecla, hotels and apartments stacked on top of each other, and a veritable United Nations of topless (and some naked) men and women. In Sitges, we discover the gayest beach we’ve ever laid eyes on, and we’re happy to disrobe, sun ourselves, and sip all manner of adult beverage. Sitges knows how to relax — it’s probably known for that, too.

Somewhere in the middle of my nearly two-week trek abroad, my high school class had a milestone reunion. I refuse to disclose specifically which milestone it was, but I’m happy to admit I attended high school in the 1990s. I didn’t hate high school like so many people I know did, but I didn’t love it either.

I had enough friends, I found refuge in the drama department, and I went to plenty of school dances with pretty girls. (Once I discovered the City Nightclub and Portland’s gay culture, I had lots more friends and places — sometimes people — of refuge.) Towards the end of my senior year, I was voted by my classmates Most Likely to Become President, though their one-day-president would soon be plagued by scandal and whispers. “He’s been going to that gay club.” “He’s been hanging out with those gay people.”

Our afternoon in Sitges is preceded by six days in Portugal and two hot nights out in Barcelona, and we still have two more to go. I lay on my bright red souvenir (keepsake) towel which lay atop my blue and white striped rental chair and I watch the parade of men saunter to and from the water. I make eye contact with some, others look away hurriedly. (I like to pretend sunglasses serve as an invisibility cloak, which sometimes leads to gawking.) Most everyone we’ve seen so far boasts olive skin, blue eyes, and black hair, and it’s a challenge to keep it together under such dreamy circumstances.

In Lisbon, I gave myself fully to more than one man who fit that description, and the night prior — in Barcelona — I enjoyed a brief tryst with a similarly dreamy college student. If you ever need to feel beautiful, go to Spain. There, your whiteness is an anomaly — bonus if you’re bald and bearded, perhaps the most coveted anomaly.

At the end of my senior year of high school, right around the time I’m voted Most Likely to Become President and just before the Gay Whisper Campaign was underway, I assem-

bled my keepsake senior book, which I still have. The large black tome, embossed with gaudy golden letters that read, “Senior Year Memories,” holds everything I held dear at 18 — photos, notes passed to me by friends, magazine clippings of Whitney Houston, Oprah Winfrey, and characters from Days of Our Lives. In it is the Plainsmen Press Senior Edition, a special copy of our school newspaper dedicated to my class. In it, I declared that in ten years’ time, I would be “successful, rich, and the governor.”

As the late afternoon sun begins to set on the dreamy little hamlet called Sitges, I jump into the Mediterranean for one final swim.

There’s something special about sharing water with strangers — people are friendlier there than on land. It was in the water I met my gay cohort in Honolulu last spring, and it is here I chat with all manner of gentleman. “I’d love to go home with you,” I tell a handsome stranger.

“But my friends and I are heading back to the city very soon.” Besides, I have plans to see a boy from Malta I met on Grindr — and I’m not interested in being nude with anyone else until I seal the deal with him. But there’s no harm in shamelessly flirting, especially when you’re treading water, staring at the coast of Spain while the sun goes down. (I have mixed feelings about these sunsets; they remind me our time here is finite.)

It should be clear at this point that I chose to skip my high school reunion — it was not a scheduling conflict or an oversight. When my friends and I looked at dates earlier this year, I circled specific ones on the calendar and pressed hard for them. September is the best month, I argued. The high season is ending and the weather is still nice and it’ll still be busy enough to be interesting. The trails we’ll blaze in Lisbon — through artsy Alfama and nightlife-rich Bairro Alto and the magical landscape of Sintra — will be best explored in September, while my former classmates gather on blankets in a local park somewhere in the heart of Clark County, celebrating our important milestone “potluck-style.” BYOB. In Barcelona, my friends and I finish tapas and wine in a restaurant nestled inside the bottom of another extravagant building, another balcony-laced masterpiece, as is the whole of this Spanish city near the sea.

We are about to embark on another night out, another evening filled with tourists from around the globe, gay bars filled with rosaries and Virgin Marys — I’ll be speaking my now-patented broken Spanish, groping and getting groped, basking in my bald, bearded novelty. At Átame, a bar filled with drag queens and loud pop music, I pull my Maltese lover closer, his lips graze my neck, and I can feel his heartbeat. An incredibly sexy cliché. If this isn’t living, I think, I am not sure, at this point, what is.

At the very least, it sure beats a picnic in the park.

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October/November 2014 • 25

EVENTS

THEIR SHORTY SHORTS WILL HAUNT YOU (REDUX)

By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly

GAY SKATE WITH PQ Oaks Park Roller Skating Rink Come join us from 7-9pm

THEME FOR NOVEMBER IS: Uniforms THE THEME FOR DECEMBER IS: Winter Holidays Follow us on Facebook for details

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Shorty Shorts is my pick for Event of the Year. Really — for me, there is nothing that matches its sheer, raw talent, contagious enthusiasm, collective heart, and community comradery. It’s the middle of autumn — long gone are lazy, sunny Sundays on patios, Thanksgiving is around the corner and you’re being hurled toward darker, damper days and full-blown seasonal affective disorder. You spend your Saturdays staring down empty whiskey bottles, navigating the latest and greatest queer dance night, anything to counter the effects of the slew of family gatherings on the horizon. Shorty Shorts staves off the bluest of winter blues.

It’s just you and a couple hundred of your closest friends in one of the city’s coziest venues, Clinton Street Theater. Shorty Shorts: all that art and energy and creativity and community and love breathes new life into your existence. Moviegoers arrive early, claim seats, and mingle like it’s a Sunday afternoon affair at Bridge Club. Your hostess, Gula Delgatto, the architect of all things good and queer and short, exclaims, “Look

at all these people mingling.

I love it.” She adds, over and over again, “Make art!”

The theater is so full, people have to stand in the back. Through each short film, they cheer, gasp, laugh, holler, moan — they’re invested. The energy is infectious, and Gula’s up front, with a microphone, playing the role of Oprah to her legion of followers. “You win a short!”

Past hightlights: Carla Rossi’s sweet workout routines.

David Fletcher’s gay drunk history. Zach Banton’s stunning face reflected, all made up, in the mirror. Melody Awesomazing defending her mannequin head life partner — “I think you’re body shaming right now because he has no arms.” Andrew Barter narrates, from his bed, as we stare at his one night stand’s back. He captures so perfectly the crazed moments we all have when the butterflies in our stomach fly up in our throat, when we allow ourselves to imagine some kind of future with someone we’ve just met. And that’s just the tip of the very gay iceberg. (The list of highlights could be 5 pages long.)

Heart — it’s one thing Shorty Shorts has in spades. Add all the things: clever, funny, ironic, and, sometimes, heartbreakingly beautiful. (See: “Vag Land.”) I dare you to watch it and not get weepy.

On Shorty Shorts, lovingly dubbed “Gula’s Oscars,” from Delgatto herself: “Honestly, every year it comes down to the wire. We usually don’t get submissions until the last minute — however, the shorts that we make we are so excited about. Sometimes we make too many and have a hard time choosing between our babies. When people’s submissions come in, it’s like Christmas. We have an idea of the people who are submitting, but every year we are surprised.”

So, PQ readers — make art. http://www. shortyshortsfilmfest.com/

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FEATURES

FEATURE MARRIAGE ARTSCOMMUNITY & CULTURE

Bitter Old Queen

By Nick Mattos, PQ Monthly

1) Bitter Old Queens are real. If you’ve spent a few nights at the bars, you’ve seen concrete examples of older gay men with permanent scowls and a seemingly endless number of things to complain about. However, I posit that the trope of the “Bitter Old Queen” also functions as a sort of cautionary tale, something akin to the horror folktales or morality plays that delineate the lines of appropriate behavior in cultures worldwide. Don’t whistle next to the graveyard, or else the ghosts will get you. Don’t be naughty, or Santa will put coal in your stocking. Don’t be a gay man and survive your youth, or else you’ll become a bitter old queen.

2) God willing, I’ll get old some day. I won’t argue that I already am — allow me to keep that while I can, please — but I’ll concede that, as a man of thirty, there are people out there in the harsh world who already see me as such. Thank God the whole “queen” thing is already set, at least.

3) “You behave like a diva when you get tired,” Rupert Everett told a Guardian interviewer back in 2012. Everett so consummately fits the Bitter Old Queen trope that the paper ran his interview under the title “The Queen of Mean;” Everett himself, though, seems to prefer the somewhat softer (but not conceptually dissimilar) term “diva.” After recounting an anecdote about a “sheer tsunami of divadom” he unleashed upon a wig-fitter (seriously, a wig-fitter — sometimes you can’t make this stuff up) he noted that he feels “awful, terrible” after his displays of such bitterness.

“Yet never so bad that it won’t happen again?” the interviewer queried. “[Everett] offers a carelessly elegant little mea culpa shrug. ‘But things happen, don’t they?’ He chuckles, then sighs. ‘Things happen.’”

4) I have been frighteningly bitter at times. I’ll perceive some sort of slight — some random person at a party won’t treat me with whatever respectful deference I’ve convinced myself I’m entitled to, the world deals me a hand of cards that leaves me only the option of folding — and I feel it burn like acid. At my most unconscious, this doesn’t really bother me. However, when I am the slightest bit aware of myself, it’s a frightening experience; it seems to reveal something about the real content of my heart, the native state down in the murky water beneath my psyche. “Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?” the Bible asks in the pseu-

do-epistle of James. If this bitterness comes forth so easily, taking only a minor slight to evoke it, am I really as sweet a guy as I like to think I am?

5) “[Scary folktales]… reveal important truths about us — our deepest, darkest fears, for example,” notes folklorist David Emery. “Telling horror stories is cathartic, a way of coping with what scares us.”

This makes perfect sense to me. If ghosts are summoned by something as silly as whistling a tune, are they really that scary? Really, Santa — coal? If the Bitter Old Queen is some sort of gay monster, a horrible and lonely thing haunting the bars with a scowl, it certainly couldn’t be us, right? Right?

6) I’ll admit it: I’m terrified of becoming a Bitter Old Queen. Absolutely terrified. I don’t want a life spent living out Rupert Everett’s cycle — getting tired, unleashing bitterness onto a bystander, feeling bad about my actions and myself, becoming exhausted by my own guilt, and excusing it all with a careless shrug.

7) I am certain that I am not alone in this terror. The most vivid examples of this can be seen in the anxious war that my queer brethren wage against the last two factors of the term. We war against becoming old, primarily in proxy by fighting against showing any sign of aging; we refuse to have wrinkles surround our eyes, nor to adopt the maturity that those wrinkles should indicate. We battle against our queeniness, most commonly indicated here in the Pacific Northwest by affecting a sort of John Muir outdoorsy aesthetic, wrapping ourselves in pristine plaid flannel, posting hiking photos to our Grindr profiles. Perhaps the reason we fight these battles so hard because, as a community, we’ve ceded to bitterness, rebranded it like Everett has as “behaving like a diva” rather than recognizing it as the revelation of something that lives hidden in our shadow. We fight against being Bitter Old Queens, but in the process, we neglect to fight against being bitter.

8) Bitter Old Queens are real. They started out just like me, and then got tired.

Perhaps they were just as terrified as I am of living out the gay folktale, just as aware that the bitterness could and would arise out of their hearts. Perhaps the tiredness snuck up on them, and then Rupert Everett’s cycle began, catching them in its momentum, leaving them scowling in the bar. Maybe all it takes to not live out the trope is to stay awake, even if we’re tired, and if we’re already asleep, to wake up.

Nick Mattos is a writer and yoga teacher in SE Portland, and he’s working on that bitterness thing, really, he is. Reach him at nick@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

October/November 2014 • 27

GLAPN BOOKS

VOICES

This Ends Badly Monogamy is Dead!

Long Live Monogamy!

By Michael James Schneider, PQ Monthly

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You know the scene: Kirk and Spock face insurmountable odds against a supercomputer, or evil androids, or an alien with a twisted morality. Then Kirk, in his swaggering wisdom, asks the computer a question that shouldn’t have an answer, or commands his bridge crew to do an illogical performance that will confound the androids.

The computer halts, the android freezes while doing “the robot,” and our noble crew takes advantage of the confusion to make their escape while they leave behind a flustered mess of smoking, charred circuitry.

This is the scene in my head after I asked him, “Hey, are we exclusive?” I expected him to say “nah, but maybe later” or “sure thing,” but instead he threw me a curveball.

Rich looked at me with his baby blue eyes and said “Sure, for now. I’ll want to open it up later, though.” What? Didn’t I cover this base when I read his dating profile? “Um, when does that happen exactly?” I asked tentatively. “When we have a strong enough emotional connection.” “Oh, yeah. Sure.

Of course,” I stammer as my brain literally starts melting from the seeming logic problem that it’s confronting.

Later that week, I’m alone in the bath with my thoughts, which is usually where my worst ideas begin (baths are the “peeing sitting down” of cleaning yourself ). I’ve always wanted a monogamous relationship for as long as I remember. But was it learned, a dated relic of heteronormative behavior, or is it something instinctual?

The behavior of animals is where people usually look to explain the roots of human monogamy. In a some mammals, birds, and primates, it makes sense for a male to protect his female mate to prevent other males from mating with her, or for a female to choose a single male to protect her young for her. It’s well known that heterosexual men have more sexual partners than women, and it’s also generally accepted that it’s a byproduct of evolution: men do not carry young, and women have long gestational periods, so there are less biological consequences to men to widely disburse their genetic material. But do these models make sense applied to queer human relationships?

The answer seems complicated. While person to person, I and my friends acknowledge a degree of truth to the old stereotypes (gay men have a lot of sex, queer women move in together after the first date, and everyone we know is in an open relationship), we bristle when we hear someone outside our circle saying these things out of ignorance. What are we defending, though, and why are we defending it? What’s wrong

with having a lot of sexual partners, as long as you do it safely and responsibly? “Correcting” these stereotypes seems like a form of slut-shaming, and a nod to hetero-pandering.

This attitude might surprise a lot of people who have followed my writing for a while. I’m proud of being old-fashioned. I’m stubbornly monogamous. I’m a hopeless romantic. Someone called me out recently and accused me of being sex-negative. Now, granted, I make constant references to my lumpy, misshapen body, and crying after sex, but I’m human and yeah, I enjoy sex a lot (sorry mom). I’m not made for random and anonymous, though, because I emotionally attach too easily through sex. And some guys won’t ever want relationships, all they’ll want is Instagram followers. Sociopath is the new narcissist.

So I’m no closer to an answer than I was before. Did I decide at some point to pursue monogamy, or did it choose me biologically?

I think back to my earliest infatuations with boys when I was a kid. I kept a diary for years that chronicled the many crushes I had, and my romantic fantasies. At some point I came home to find the dresser drawer that I hid my journal in slightly ajar, so I went through and obsessively redacted all the “gay” stuff lest someone discover it (which left the crush-saturated pages almost solid black). Remember, I was a kid, and this was the 1840s, so paper was more valuable then.

These fantasies were always monogamous ones: me and Andrew, floating away on a magic carpet ride to the tune of “A Whole New World” (Google it); Tom and I dancing on a stairway like Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat (fucking Google it, kids); dreamy Eric pushing me down the grassy hill as I shout “As you wiiiissshhhh.” I always knew that I wanted to be with just one person, even in the shadow of my parents’ divorce. Maybe even because of that same shadow? Maybe.

Oh, back to Rich. Well, truth be told, we didn’t last long after that conversation. He’s found someone who can truly appreciate and complement his sexuality, and Rich and I make better friends than we did lovers.

Maybe there’s no cut and dry answer.

None of it is simple, and our sexuality is wonderful and confusing and complex, and unique to each individual. A lot of people have evolved past the point where they even need labels. The only thing queer culture has to fear is people who don’t embrace their own sexuality, who don’t explore it, who don’t examine what makes themselves tick. Conversely, “prude-shaming’ hurts us, too. But if I wake up tomorrow and find that I don’t need monogamy in my life anymore, then so be it.

Monogamy is dead. Long live monogamy!

Michael James Schneider is a writer, designer, and artist based in Portland, OR. His mom thinks he is the Best Writer Ever. He writes for his wildly unpopular blog, BLCKSMTHdesign.com, and just released his first fiction book, The Tropic Of Never, available as an ebook on Amazon.com.

28 • Octobe/November 2014

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FEATURE

“I NEVER SET OUT TO BE A ‘PIONEER’”—PQ’S CHAT WITH ANN SCHATZ

By Shaley Howard, PQ Monthly

Leader, pioneer, inspiration—these are just some of the words that have been used to describe veteran sports broadcaster and motivational speaker Ann Schatz, a woman whose achievements include being the first female sportscaster in Portland and in Omaha, Neb., and broadcaster for ESPN, Portland Thorns FC, and the WNBA. Growing up in Omaha, Schatz was the fifth of six children in what she describes as a “Leave it to Beaver” childhood consisting of a neighborhood full of kids and pets. She played all sorts of outdoor games and activities like kick-the-can, hopscotch, baseball, basketball, football, built snow forts—anything as long as she was outside playing. She adored her parents and siblings, walked to school, did her chores and loved playing with her black lab Thunder.

“I played every sport under the sun growing up. Anything that moved, anything that could be used as a ball, anything that needed to be chased. I loved damn near every minute of those years.”

Schatz continued her enthusiasm for sports playing basketball and softball for Creighton University. After graduating with a degree in journalism and mass communication she got a job as the first female sports anchor/reporter in Omaha. Then, in 1989, she moved to Portland and was hired for what she called her “first gig away from home,” as the first female sports anchor/reporter by KOIN. “It was very difficult, at times, being the first and only female sportscaster in Omaha and Portland. Omaha was a bit more forgiving since I grew up there, competed there, went to college there. But when I moved to Portland, the

30 • Octobe/November 2014

initial letters, phone calls, and comments were not supportive or kind at all. Few people take the time to write in when they like you but boy, when they don’t care for you they can’t wait to let you know,” Schatz remarked.

“I think many people just weren’t ready for a woman delivering the sports. Once people got ‘used to me,’ they really opened up, let me into their worlds and accepted me as a legit sportscaster. I earned their acceptance and that acceptance went a long way. I got to know their kids, their favorite teams and players. I got to feel and experience their passion and love of sport. Before long we all realized that sport would draw us together and present an undeniable link.”

Some of Schatz’s favorite years were working for the Portland Trailblazers—being able to witness some of the greatest athletes of all time and gain life-long friends within the Blazer organization. And through 30 years experiencing the ups and downs of this “wacky” business, as she calls it, she’s realized that it’s the love of the job and sport itself that keeps her coming back.

“It’s not so much having the wonderful opportunity to interview the Michael Jordans or Mia Hamms—it’s witnessing what sport does for so many kids, teams, schools, communities and cities/states. Sport rallies us all, gives us that common denominator that trumps the many differences that pull us apart. Sport allows young people to be involved, to hope, to be a part of something that is bigger than them. It’s the great connector and I appreciate that more than words can express.”

Schatz is a pioneer for many because she’s also a lesbian.

But it was not too long ago that being publically out was not at all acceptable—especially in the workplace. Many people had one life in the public eye and a completely dif-

ferent one in private. Unfortunately even in today’s world this dualistic existence is still true for many.

“Back in those days, I was terrified of being out. You could lose your job for that and I had to be very, very careful. I had two lives. That is regrettable as I look back on it, but it also was what I thought I had to do to survive.”

It takes great courage to be the first in any field. But to show up, day after day, having to pretend and act straight or be fired, is a kind of courage. Back in the 1970’s and 80’s, being out in the workplace, or even publically, was not really an option.

Many like Schatz, however, still played the game every day and ended up laying the groundwork for generations to come.

“I never set out to be a ‘pioneer’… hell, I really had no idea if I’d even have a career, much less dream about where it would go. When I realized that I had a lot of talent, I was very focused on the challenge and responsibility of not letting anyone down—especially the young women who might be coming behind me. I could not fail.”

Schatz currently works for the Pac-12 Network, is the voice of the Portland Thorns FC, and is a motivational speaker. When I asked her what advice she would give to other women wanting to enter the sportscaster and reporting world she said, “Always—always get it right. We are judged and graded a bit more harshly than our male counterparts—use this to your advantage! Be the quickest, the most accurate, the most dedicated, the most curious, and the most reliable. Your critics will challenge you to raise the bar…raise it! Develop a thick skin but never lose your heart and emotion in the process. And reach out to other women in the field…be there for each other…be a safety net for one another. I would have killed for that.”

For more information or to contact Schatz go to: www.annschatz.com.

pqmonthly.com

VOICES

OK, HERE’S THE DEAL …

When We Talk About Violence, We Can’t Isolate It

By Monika MHz, PQ Monthly

I promise to get back to sociopathic Vulcans and the weirdest first date I’ve ever been on in my life [author’s note: no, seriously] next month, but for now, let’s switch gears from topics covered in the memory alpha wiki and drop some serious notes on a topic I speak regularly on at universities.

October’s designation as Domestic and Intimate Partner Violence Awareness Month, the increased attention the particular issue has gotten because of the NFL’s incredible ability to do literally nothing right, and my good friend Bailey Jay’s incredible xoJane article discussing her experiences in an abusive relationship, all make this the right moment to open the topic.

The LGBT and queer communities spend a lot of time talking about violence. Statistics are often deployed to make arguments about why we should or shouldn’t use certain words or language, or why some movie is literally [spoiler: not really] killing trans women.

I’ve spoken about this extensively before, and each time I do so, I find myself breaking out a quote from Sarah Lamble who, in discussing this particular trend among transgender activists, wrote in the Journal of Sexuality Research and Social Policy: “By focusing on transphobia as the definitive cause of violence, [we] do not fully contextualize incidents of violence within their specific time and place, thus obscuring the ways in which hierarchies of race, class, and sexuality situate and constitute such acts. In the process transgender bodies are universalized along a singular identity plane of victimhood and rendered visible primarily through the violence that is acted upon them.”

We structure ourselves as the innocent witnesses to isolated tragedies, singularly tied to a universalized characteristic of a person’s life, but the real narrative is far more complicated.

The truth is, those statistics so quickly deployed by activists often have a much bigger role to play in the way we talk about domestic and intimate partner violence and whorephobia (anti-sex worker bias) than the places we usually find them being used for political grandstanding.

Which is why it’s deeply disappointed me to see so little coverage of Christy Mack within the queer/LGBT press.

Christy Mack, an adult film actress, was allegedly viscously and savagely brutalized and sexually assaulted by her then ex-boyfriend, former-MMA fighter War Machine.

She sustained and was hospitalized for 18 broken orbital bones, a broken nose in two places, several missing and broken teeth, a fractured rib, a ruptured liver, an injured

leg and swelling.

The incident was so severe Machine has been charged with attempted murder (domestic violence-related).

As if enduring such a horrifying thing wasn’t enough, Mack then had to endure the uproarious public outrage, not at Machine’s horrifying alleged actions, but at the fact that she was a sex worker and presumably deserved the brutal rape and assault she only survived because she escaped.

Facebook pages lauded Machine’s alleged actions, and a near-constant stream of living hemorrhoids flooded her with Internet- and real-world-based harassment, labeling her a slew of misogynistic slurs with side of whorephobia.

And this is important for us to report on and understand why? Because the links between not only the severity of violence, but the public reaction to it can help us draw clear links of understanding in the violence often faced by trans women. I have to admit when I first read the Christy Mack story the tone and series of events sounded so similar to stories I’ve heard time and time again that in my first reading, having been largely unfamiliar with Mack, I was waiting for them to mention her trans status.

And there’s the deal. We’ve got to be able to understand that when we talk about violence, we can’t isolate it, but we’ve got to complicate our narratives and understand how our presumed innocence can lead us down a path with blinders covering from view the important factors all around us that help us understand the why and who of these stories. The fact that black women, sex workers, women with disabilities, trans women and houseless women are the most frequent victims of violence to this degree has to be a topic and a thread we mark from point to point. And it comes down to the fact that there are degrees of dehumanization that we are, apparently, willing to tolerate. And that dehumanization when coupled with instability, rage, aggrieved entitlement and aggrieved masculinity explodes into the sort of violence and public reactions we see from the Mack case.

I have no doubt that the high rates of violence seen in our community has a correlative tie to whorephobia, ableism, anti-homeless bias, misogyny and misogynoir just as much as it does to homophobia and transphobia and as all of these things relate to the otherization and dehumanization of the victims. This is a big complicated subject, and we should keep it that way. And that’s the deal this month. So step it up, folks. You’re embarrassing yourselves.

Monika MHz is a queer trans Latina who makes her way as a Portland-based House music producer/DJ, activist, and writer. Practicing radical love through music, she believes in the transformative nature of music and its real substantive and cultural power to save lives. You can find Monika online at monikamhz.com and @MonikaMHz. pqmonthly.com

October/November 2014 • 31

BUSINESS BRIEFS STARKY’S Friday night and you are hungry…where to go? How about Starky’s! Prime Rib Dinner for $18.00…can’t beat that with a stick! And, Happy Hour is from 5-7pm daily.

Starky’s has been a rock-solid gathering place in our Portland LGBTQ community for many years. The food is always fresh-hot-yummy, the drinks are always a “long pour” and inexpensive, there is always someone there you know, and always a friendly crowd, even if you are new to town.

Monday and Tuesday you can get a delicious burger with fries for $5. A long-time supporter of so many important events and foundations in Oregon, I am very proud to dine at Starky’s, knowing how much good they have done in our day-to-day life, here in Oregon. The next time you are hungry, walk, bike, cab, or carpool to Sta rk y’s located at 2913 SE Stark St, Por t la nd. There is plenty of parking and great outdoor seating. Please tell them PQ sent you… you m ig ht ask for the S t a r k y ’s PQ Press signature drink and see what happens. w w w .

Sta rk ys.

“If Starky’s burgers are good enough for Poison Waters, they’re good com

enough for you!”

32 • October/November 2014

STARS PORTLAND’S ANTIQUES MALLS Along SE Milwaukie Avenue, in Sellwood, you will see Stars Antique Malls. Inside these doors, you will see Portland’s largest selection of antiques, collectibles, and extraordinary items. There is something for everyone at Stars: jewelry, books, furniture, glassware, photos — you think of it and more than likely you will find it at Stars.

Instead of purchasing a run-of-the-mill gift for your bestie or boss, from just any store, why not purchase a gift that has history, charm, and value? Perhaps your boss would love a wine decanter set from the 20s? Or a letter opener from the 1900s? Maybe your bestie would love a vintage photo that will remind them of you, or a piece of jewelry that will become an heirloom? If you have not experienced walking through Stars Antiques Mall, take a Sunday afternoon, grab a latte, and go explore. The history of these pieces can be felt in the heart, when you think of the journey some of these things have been on, to end up in Sellwood, Oregon…it makes you wish it could speak to you.

To see some of the items for sale, please go to www.StarsAntique.com or meander back in time and visit the malls on SE Milwaukie, in Sellwood. Please let them know your journey there began with PQ Monthly.

DIRECT BUY Have you ever seen pictures of gorgeous furniture, cabinets, bedding, or wondered how trips can be sold for super cheap? Well, wonder no more! When you walk into Direct Buy it will all become very, very clear. Did you know that YOU have a 30-day FREE membership awaiting you? What is Direct Buy exactly? It is a wholesale club that allows you to buy name-brand items…like KitchenAid, Delta, Whirlpool, Samsung, and so many more. No matter what you are looking to buy, Direct Buy will more than likely have it less expensive than buying it somewhere at retail. If you are looking to remodel your home, connect

with Direct Buy first! Their team has helped save their members thousands of $$$ on remodels. Melanie and I are members and we recently purchased bedding and garden furniture, we saved 65% of the total cost! It was astounding. There is NO catch…in fact, it is like having a personal shopper or concierge. We merely asked the Direct Buy shopping team to find us the garden furniture we are seeking and boom…they did…and we saved a lot of money without any hassle…plus it got delivered to our home. (What’s happening here is the wholesale/middle business is being knocked out of the deal and you are dealing directly with the manufacturer.) Another amazing service available at Direct Buy PDX is their design service. You can have someone help you design any room in your house and then they will locate the best deals on the best products for your home…and they will coordinate the delivery for you. Umm…just how much time and $$$ will that save you!! Lots! (Do you see why I am excited?)

Let’s talk about cruises, trips to resorts, Trex decking material, paint for your house, appliances, bedding, lighting, flooring,…the list goes on and on. There is an initial membership fee but we found that we got that back in savings on two purchases! Once you are a member, all you have is a low-annual renewal fee. Please give Steve or Danielle Pieters a call or email, they are very excited to help you see how much money they can save you on your purchases…remember you have a 30-day FREE membership awaiting you. Just for kicks, make a trip to 10795 SW Cascade Avenue in Tigard and visit their gorgeous showroom. You will be amazed at the name brands right there.

Do not purchase another item or trip before you check out Direct Buy first. Please tell Steve and Danielle that you are a PQ Monthly reader. Call them at 643-9332; email them at Danielle@DirectBuyPDX.com.

--Gabriela Kandziora

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CULTIVATING LIFE Body Acceptance and Climbing a $&#*@ Mountain

By LeAnn Locher, PQ Monthly

I could write for days about my love/ hate relationship with my body. My weight has been an all-consuming aspect of my head space my entire life. Dieting since a single-digit age, I learned self-judgment was harsh and acceptance by others would be gauged upon if I were a fat kid or not.

Whether or not this was true of my external circumstances, it doesn’t matter. It’s what my mind internally told me.

Beginning as a young adult, I have gained weight, lost weight, gained weight and lost weight, numerous times. I have never been a skinny person. But I have been in the BMI rankings of very obese. Hell, I may be there now. I don’t look at those rankings anymore.

You name the diet; I have done it. I just know it’s a lifelong struggle, and it’s tied up in an emotional bundle with lots of strings and bows and tape around it.

This summer, after training for months, I climbed the third-tallest mountain in Oregon. South Sister has an elevation gain of over 4,500 feet, and the 12-mile, 14-hour hike was a beast. But I had trained hard.

The day after the climb, I did some reflection on what I had accomplished. I felt a huge boulder off of my shoulders that I had been carrying my whole life. Most of that boulder consisted of shame. Instead of shame, I found myself so proud of my body, strength, muscles, endurance, and ability to climb a fucking mountain. Did you know I climbed so high I could see to California and to Washington from the center of Oregon itself? And it was my body that got me there. My. Body. There is no shame in that accomplishment.

A few days after the climb, it was hot, and we went for a run. I wore a form-fitting tank top and shorts. It shows off my curves and doesn’t leave much to the imagination. I looked at myself in the mirror before I left, and I said to myself, “That is the body of a woman who climbed a mother-fucking mountain. Hell yeah.” And out the door I

went. Air on my skin, sunshine on my shoulders, that was the most confident run I’ve done in some time. I didn’t care about what anyone else thought; I just knew I felt good.

That outing wasn’t full of a mind wondering if my shorts were too short or if my arm fat jiggled or if my stomach was too big.

I was present in the moment. This was a huge change.

I’ve been taking Pilates classes, sessions with a close friend and just the instructor, a woman I’ve known for over a decade. I absolutely love these workouts (thank you bloompilatespdx.com). They stretch, lengthen, and use a variety of movements that align the spine and strengthen my core. I can do some movements like a champ, even bending into advanced positions. Some I can barely do, or not at all, either because my arm length or proportion or body ability or take-your-pick reason. But you know what? My inner voice on this doesn’t give a rat’s PHOTO CREDIT: NIKKI BECKER, MISS FIT ADVENTURES ass that I can’t do all of the movements. If my past self, from a few years ago, were to be in this situation, the self-talk I would berate myself with for not being able to do a position would be so deafening I would have fled and never returned to the class. I would have internally flogged myself for my fat body not able to do what it could do if only I was skinnier.

Now instead, I recognize it for what it is: not all bodies are the same, and this body climbed a mother-fucking mountain, and so what if I can’t walk my hands down my calves while balancing in a V position on a reformer with my toes pointing towards the ceiling? What I can do is advanced bending backwards positions powered by the pure strength of core and upper body.

This change in self-talk is me, in my mid40s, finally experiencing body acceptance and self-love. There will always be work to do, and being healthy requires self-care, time, attention and prioritizing. I’m giving that to my body, and my mind is finally responding. It’s coming through positive affirmations, not through shaming or negative self-talk.

And by the way? I climbed a mother-fucking mountain.

LeAnn Locher writes about all things that cultivate life: gardening, delicious food, and outdoor adventures. She particularly loves using curse words in her writing. You can reach her at leann@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

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Look out for: October/November 2014 • 33

QUEER APERTURE Through his Queer Aperture project, photographer Jeffrey Horvitz has spent years documenting the LGBTQ communities of Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Vancouver, B.C. He’s well aware that a picture paints a whole mess of words, but here he offers a few actual words to better acquaint us with his dynamic subjects.

What is your name?

Leela Ginelle

Favorite movie?

It changes all the time.

How long have you lived in Portland?

11 years

Favorite word?

Equality

When was the first time you noticed gayness existed?

Watching Donahue

Least favorite word?

Tr_nny

What do you consider a guilty pleasure?

Chocolate

Favorite swear word?

Fuck

Your having a dinner party of 6, whom would you invite?

Dostoyevsky, James Baldwin, Virginia Woolf, Catherine the Great, Anais Nin, Uma Thurman

What is your profession?

Writer

What would you consider a perfect meal?

Grilled Salmon, Asparagus, Brownie Sundae What would be a perfect day off?

Some writing, coffee with friends, nice walk, evening with my partner

PHOTO BY JEFFREY HORVITZ

If you could with a snap of a finger what would be another profession you would like to do?

Communications work Whom would you like to meet dead or alive?

The 6 dinner party people

Favorite book?

Queer Theory Gender Theory by Riki Wilchins

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