PQ Monthly January/February 2016 Edition

INSIDE: •Cannabis Queries • Community Spotlight: Cristy C. Road • Black Lives Matter • Turn A Look: Aquarius & Much More!

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PHOTO BY ERIC SELLERS

PORTLAND

Vol.4 No.1 Jan/Feb, 2016

FEATURE FEATURE

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THIS JANUARY 21ST!

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Next February 18th at: • February 18th, 2015, 5P.M.-7 P.M. : Bossanova Ballroom ( 722 East Burnside St. Portland, OR 97214) Like us on Facebook for details on the press parties & all things PQ Monthly!

2 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016

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PQ TEAM “JUST A MORTAL WITH POTENTIAL OF A SUPERMAN!”

By Melanie Davis, Publisher – Owner Brilliant Media llc.

Melanie Davis

Owner/Publisher melanie@pqmonthly.com

chris Àlvarez

Art Director chris@pqmonthly.com

editorial Matt Pizzuti

Reporter & Calendar Editor calendar@pqmonthly.com

Shaley Howard Regular Contributor

TJAcena

Arts & Entertainment

George Nicola GLAPN Historian

RobinWill

GLAPN Historian

SALES TEAM larry lewis

Sales Representative larry@pqmonthly.com

lynda Wilkinson Sales Representative lynda@pqmonthly.com

National Advertising Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 sales@rivendellmedia.com

photographers

We made it! Although this may be a transitional year for may of us I firmly believe 2016 is going to be an exceptional year for everyone.

At the conclusion of last year, we at PQ Monthly left off with a Singles Cover Contest for those ready to mingle in 2016. We had an incredible amount of entries…and all very qualified if you know what I mean. So we put the decision in our readers hands, and the votes came pouring in. After reviewing all of the votes, we invited the top ten to a photo shoot and cocktail reception. Shortly after introductions hair, makeup, drinks, wardrobe changes and a turn to the left, a turn to the right, and sashay, shante. Something magical happened.

I had asked our photographer on this shoot Eric Seller if he would take a group shot possibly emulating a PQ version of the L Word cover. He agreed, as did the singles. We had so much fun creating this cover, that while Andrew Shadye was the overall winner of the contest, everyone including our southern gentlemen Mr. Shadye agreed to make the group shot the cover photo. Andrew because of your kindness we have a special thank you that can be found on page 5. We also want to thank everyone who entered and participated. What makes this cover in particular a hallmark is that it is 100% community generated. The top 10 people who were selected are a dynamic and beautiful reflection of our queer community. We have lot’s to be proud of.

Along those lines, you will see a slight shift

in content this edition. It is important to note that it is a deliberate change. If you recall in PQ on page 3 of the last edition (DEC 2015) I wrote ‘Welcome to the starting line!’ The following is an expert I shared: “Now that gay and lesbian United States Citizens are viewed as equal in the eyes of the law as it relates to marriage, we can focus on healing the divisive issues that have wedges us apart. We need to reassure, and humbly maintain the broad spectrum of relationships that we established to achieve this victory over the many decades. We

have to join our brothers and sisters who have been in the trenches fighting Anti-Discrimination Laws, hate crimes, mental health, gun control, homelessness, immigration reform, gender equality, equity, women and trans health rights, all along. We are far from free and even further from being equal! “ Keeping that at the forefront of your thoughts we felt it was paramount to share with you some of the struggles from our counterparts in the equity and equality movements. The features we added to our first edition of the year include

a Part 1 of 2 news report about Black Lives Matter.

Additionally, we are offering a couple of different perspectives, one by Jacqueline Keeler a Navajo/Yankton Dakota Sioux writer living in Portland, Oregon. She has been published in Salon, Indian Country Today, Earth Island Journal and the Nation. Jacqueline gives her take on #OscarsSoWhite, Again: A Symptom of Hollywood’s Racism. Secondly, we have an opinion piece submitted by Monty Herron a graduate student at Portland State University and a member of the Confederated Tribe of Grand Ronde. Monty shares his view from a two-spirit and historical perspective about and in his words “the situation happening in the Malheur Wildlife Refuge, (which used to be the Malheur Indian Reservation) is a grotesque caricature of institutional racism, and how it manifests in our lives today without the public even realizing it.”

These issues are significant enough to get ink in your queer paper to assist in jump starting our collective inspiration of working together while helping us grow a better understanding of each other. WE MUST REMEMBER OUR HUMANITY! My hope for 2016 is that we learn the gorgeous lesson reflected in this edition’s cover, that being if we are willing to be present, engaged, and put egos aside for a moment, and bringing our best foot forward, WE can make some real magic happen.

On behalf of the entire Brilliant Media Team we hope you have a wonderful and prosperous year ahead and we leave you with this final thought by the brilliant queer icon David Bowie R.I.P: “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:

Dax McMillan Photographer

Nestor Miranda Photographer

Columnists &contributors

ON THE COVER

Sossity Chiricuzio, Samantha L. Taylor, Michael James Schneider, Leo Bancroft, Summer Seasons, Marco Davis, Kathryn Martini, Sally Mulligan, Katey Pants, Queer Intersections

EMBODY: Who Are The Queer Elders At Your Table?..........................Page 11 Learning to Roll With the Punches....................................................... Page 12 Cannabis Queries: Out of the Closet...Again.................................... Page 13 Finding Leo - Back to the Beginning.................................................. Page 20 Turn A Look: Acuarius........................................................................... Page 23

503.228.3139

Masculinity & Depression: Why Men Won’t Come Forward............... Page 24

proudqueer.com

On a Personal Note: 2016 Boundary Push or BUST!........................... Page 27 #OscarsSoWhite, Again: A Symptom of Hollywood’s Racism.......... Page 28

THE NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE OF PQ MONTHLY IS RIVENDELL MEDIA, INC. BRILLIANT MEDIA LLC, DBA EL HISPANIC NEWS & PQ MONTHLY.

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Gay Skate with PQ at: Oaks Park Roller Skating Rink

Single & Queer - Our cover models share the do’s and don’t of dating, and drop a few hints on what might catch their fancy.

MONTHLY

THE THEME FOR FEBRUARY IS: EVERY VALENTINE! THE THEME FOR MARCH IS: DIVAS/FAVORITE POP STAR

Always the 3rd Monday of every month from 7-9pm

*ADMISSION $6.00 JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016 • 3

FEATURE

THE SINGLES EDITION On behalf of PQ Monthly, we would like to thank everyone who participated in the PQ Monthly 2016 Singles Cover Contest - We know as a community it was hard to choose, however, we think the 2016 winners will make everyone #ProudQueer, so let’s cut to the chase, we are honored to introduce you to this years winners!

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FEATURE

ANDREW SHAYDE

Pronoun: He/him/his Sexual Identification: Gay Job: Events Coordinator Volunteer: Lot’s Do’s: Wine, Slow-dance, and Nintendo Don’t: Whine, Twerk, and Monopoly

Tell us a little about you I was raised in the south, Kentucky. Despite being raised Southern Baptist, I found my own way and began my coming out process at 17. I later came out on reality TV, which was one of the best confidence builders ever.

The response was surprisingly excellent. After 14 years of Nationally Competitive cheerleading and non-profit work, I moved to Portland with my now ex-husband. We divorced in early 2015 after 10 years together. It was a huge blow but I was determined not to miss out on life stuck in a Netflix and ice cream rut.

What attracts you to a person?

It’s a huge turn on when guys are confident in who they are, proud to be my partner, and know what they want in life. There’s nothing less attractive to me than someone who whines when things get rough or someone who gets by on snarky alone. I want a man who appreciates many of the classic romantic movies. Slow dance with me, is nice to my momma, cheerlead for me when I need it, and be the Mario to my Luigi. Oh, and there’s nothing hotter than a guy with a Harley.

What is the biggest challenge in dating today?

Today I feel like I’m the odd man out. Sheesh, until last year I hadn’t dated in a decade. Now I’m back out here in a world of apps like Grindr and Scruff, which I’ve avoided because I want to do this the old fashioned way. I want to talk in person, flirt on the street and talk on the phone all night about nothing. I also struggle to find guys in Portland, who have family goals that line up with mine. I want kids, soccer practice, family cookouts, a golden retriever, and a wraparound porch to sip bourbon on.

What advice would you give others about dating?

My only advice is stick to your guns. The world around you will tell you a lot of things like ‘monogamy doesn’t work’, ‘you have to meet guys online’, or ‘send XXX pictures to get their attention.’ If that’s not your style, don’t give in. Someone will come along and appreciate that you decided to NOT go with that flow. Know what you are and aren’t willing to do and plant your feet.

Indeed communicate. Turn off your cell phone on a date, ask them questions, respond to their questions, and if you like them, tell them! No games. pqmonthly.com

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016 • 5

FEATURE

READY TO MINGLE IN 2016 WINNERS OF THE 2016 SINGLES CONTEST

Bruce Ross Pronoun: He/him/his Sexual Identification: Gay Job: Facilities Supervisor at eBay Volunteer: Q Center, Habitat for Humanity, Basic Rights Oregon, Do’s: Sushi, Cabernet, Tina Fey Don’t: Country Music, Spiders, Boringness Tell us a little about you I’m the worst when it comes to this, sooooo here you go: I’m a Portland Native currently living by myself with my cat Minerva, who of course is the love of my life. When I’m not hanging out with my buds and the community, I love to be cuddled up with Minerva binge watching my favorite shows including: ‘American Horror Story, House of Cards’, ‘30 Rock’, ‘Silicon Valley’ and ‘Veep’. I love trekking around the city, imagining myself actually going to the gym, keeping up with pop culture, tech, and current events on social media while living the life.

What attracts you to a person?

A massive turn on for me is a kind smile, friendly eyes, the ability to laugh at the world’s ridiculousness with an incredible sense of humor and to live in the moment and celebrate life to the fullest. One of my favorite quotes ever is from Rosalind Russell in ‘Auntie Mame’: “Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death. So live, live LIVE!” So if you’re the handsome gentleman that can do all those things....

You’re pretty damn amazing and perfect for me....#PassTheBottle #WheresMyCat What is the biggest challenge in dating today?

Oh, loooorrrddd our phones. For someone who is regularly attached their phone, I get it, but there’s a time when you should put it away and actually socialize with a face instead of a Facebook. Right? When you’re out and about how can anyone see that beautiful face when you’re nose deep into Scruff or Grindr? Can’t make that eye contact and feel the chemistry through your screen now can you? Open Relationships sometimes get in the way, especially when you see that person that resembles Marc Jacobs and you think he’s the one....Not talking from experience or anything.....

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What advice would you give others about dating?

Relax. Have fun with it, let your hair down and be you.

Explore the dating world, make new friends and don’t take it too seriously and live in the moment. Oh and if you’re someone who doesn’t go on dates often and hates it, go for a date. Step outside your comfort zone and meet someone new! Whoot Whoot! Bye! Tweet me! @rossbruce

Greg Uptain Pronoun: He/him/his Sexual Identification: Gay Man, Human Being Job: Accounting Supervisor, Les Schwab Company (26 years!)

Volunteer: Some counseling of married men coming out. Gay community events.

Do’s: Flirt with me a lot. Have your own transportation. Have your own income.

Don’t: Cheat. Use me. Be rude to others.

Tell us a little about you I am a gay man living in Bend, Oregon. I came out when I was 44 years old after being married to a woman for 21 years. I have two amazing kids, a daughter who is 27 and a son who is 24. I have a very religious family and coming out was the hardest and bravest thing I’ve ever done. I still have family that doesn’t talk to me. But I tell others that are when I fell in love with myself - when I became honest.

I love being a gay man. And I love being me!

What attracts you to a person?

Humor is the quickest way to my heart! Honesty is a must. Long eyelashes and a great smile are awesome! I don’t know if I have a “type.” I just want someone that enjoys life, who is confident and kind. Looks do matter, of course. If I meet a guy who typically takes an interest in others, even if he’s not entirely as social as I am, that’s a big plus. Mainly love yourself, but love others more and you’ll have my attention. And make me laugh and blush!

What is the biggest challenge in dating today?

I live in Bend! Our community is growing as the town grows, which is exciting, but at times, it’s really hard to feel part of a gay community. Sometimes I have to come to Portland just to get my gay fix. I do use a lot of apps, which is typically shallow (which is what I want sometimes), but I always hope I might run into a gem in the

process. If men count me out because of my age, they are missing out on a chance to meet a really great guy.

What advice would you give others about dating?

Know where you’re at personally. Do you want to have a serious relationship? A cuddle buddy? Just some fun?

Be really honest with yourself before you bring another person into the mix. And be honest with the people you meet. Most of all, make sure you love YOU before you try to love someone else. Your confidence and steadfastness are what will keep the relationship strong. And don’t rule out guys older than you! We typically have a lot of wisdom, life experience, and less drama to offer! Also, strongly consider PrEP.

Marico Fayre Pronoun: She/her/hers Sexual Identification: Queer Job: Photographer & Professor Volunteer: Various organizations depending on need and location - LGBTQ, animals, art...

Do’s: Explore, Art, Dance Don’t: Cigarettes, Narcissism, Trump Tell us a little about you?

I am a woman, artist, storyteller, photographer, nurture, cook, older sister, loyal friend, dedicated teacher, kitchen dancer, day-dreamer, reader, animal lover (especially dogs), the connector of people, recovering perfectionist, enthusiastic traveler, over-thinker, and a creator of many things.

I am creative, passionate, intense, feminine, spiritual, imperfect, loving, compassionate, engaged, and awake.

I am naturally curious and I explore the world and my place in it through art and conversation. I sometimes take myself too seriously. I am the person random people on the street ask for directions and I am the person taxi drivers tell their life story to – every time.

What attracts you to a person?

There’s a spark. I don’t know how to put it into words because it can happen for different reasons, but that initial feeling is first, whether it develops into friendship or romance.

I am attracted to passion and creativity in many forms.

SINGLES - Continues on page 8

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016 • 7

FEATURE

SINGLES Continued from page 6

Integrity and compassion are sexy and I definitely pay attention to confidence, wit, and a great sense of style. I’ll notice your smile first – I’m a visual artist after all. I need to feel comfortable and seen.

What is the biggest challenge in dating today?

In general, I think a lot of it comes down to managing expectations. I’m very new to online dating though I spend a lot of time on the computer for work. Establishing an accurate sense of a person online can be tough, and finding ways to express what you want and how you’re feeling without the non-verbal cues you get when seeing someone in person leaves a lot to chance, so I tend to keep the initial banter short and sweet and just meet in person.

What advice would you give others about dating?

Know what you want, express that, and don’t settle. Keep an open mind, manage your own expectations, and don’t take dating too personally.

Lacey Bonsanto

Pronoun: She/her/hers/ma’am Sexual Identification: Mostly lesbian with a healthy dash of bi- and/or pan-sexual.

Job: Hospital acute-care medical editing and transcribing (18 years).

Volunteer: My schedule is currently very full; however, when I have more time, I’ll volunteer to help LGBT youth and elders.

Do’s: Kindness, Intelligence, and Sexiness Don’t: Selfishness, Meanness, or Misgender Tell us a little about you People who know me well say I was born with a knack for writing, speaking and inspiring people. Whoa! Who knew? Had many people not told me so, I’d have never had thought this about myself.

However, experience has taught me to go with my strengths, so I’m dedicating myself to writing and speaking, eventually full time, about updating our economic system so that it makes sense, is fair and is sustainable, because currently, it is none of these things.

The world will be a better place if we, humanity, can move from “greed and grab” to “share and care” as our way of life. Can’t be done? I believe it can. That’s what I’m going to write and speak about.

One person CAN make a difference and stand for something right and decent. Well, let that kind of person be me.

Melanie Davis and our photographer Eric Sellers encouraged me to model professionally. Hmmmm? Yeah! Why not?

What attracts you to a person?

First, physical appeal, hotness, sexiness! Second, intelligence, consideration, and kindness as fundamental to their personality. Third, open-mindedness and caring with concerning about and empathy for other people.

What is the biggest challenge in dating today?

Other people’s archaic perceptions, quite honestly. At the Hotflash Inferno Dances, who approaches me and accepts me fully without question is young people! Honestly! The under30 people basically a way-cool about LGBT knowledge and issues and respectful of us … yes!

Main Point: Yes, I’m female in my essence. Honor and respect that, please.

What advice would you give others about dating?

Go for it! Have confidence! Take action! Don’t do what I did … basically, sit on the sidelines and NOT approach people you are attracted to! That is a recipe for misery. Do you like somebody? Tell them so! Will they like you back? Who knows? Some will … some won’t’ … okay … next! ASK! Peace & Joy & Thank You, Everybody!

Monty Herron Pronoun: He/him/his/they Sexual Identification: Gay/Two-Spirit Job: Graduate student, Educational Leadership & Policy Volunteer: Love to give my time to CAP whenever I can. Also, with UISHE to support my brothers and sisters in academia.

Do’s: Intimacy, Love, Laughter Don’t: Rudeness, Anger, Indifference Tell us a little about you I’m a fun-loving Native American guy. I dig sports, hiking and fishing. I am in my 5th year now at Portland State after having gotten a Bachelor of Arts with a double minor in Communication Studies and Philosophy. I’m currently working on a Master of Arts in Educational Leadership and Policy, with an eventual goal of being a doctoral candidate in Indigenous Education. I’m a firm believer that education is one of the greatest indicators of how successful you will be personal, in addition to it being key in self-determination, having agency, and thinking critically.

What attracts you to a person?

A bright disposition. Beautiful tattoo work, no tattoos, Great smile or eyes. I don’t have a set body type. Good looking is a plus, lol, but that’s subjective. More importantlyI’m attracted to men that are compassionate, kind, caring, and know how to have fun.

Life is what we make of it. Even a trip to the grocer can be an adventure. Someone that understands the importance of living life authentically to create space for others to do the same. I’m a sucker for anyone with excellent communication skills.

What is the biggest challenge in dating today?

The sheer multitude of avenues available is overwhelming and daunting to me. From phone apps to websites, to the old dial and listen to VM profiles... even magazines. Which site do you use? Which one caters to my interest group? Is it a site for actual dating, or hook-ups. You know what I miss? The days of old (90’s) when dating was a friend or friend of a friend either setting you up on a date, or pointing someone out in a club, AND going to break the ice for you. Ahh, sweet nostalgia....

What advice would you give others about dating?

I might not be the best person to pose this question to. After being single about 6 years (maybe 7??), I have figured a few things out, though. Self-care is your friend. Bubble baths, flowers, chocolate... keeping up your appearance says something about you to others. Keep it real, and be genuine and present with your date. If you don’t click, then SIGLES - Continues on page 9

Love...

Delivered Call us for delivery all year long

Cupcake Jones 503-222-4404 NW 10th and Everett and NE 14th and Alberta 8 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016

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NEWS FEATURE

SINGLES

you don’t. It’s better than being trapped in a co-dependent relationship. Keep your mind open to possibilities. Be on time, and Continued from page 8 if you can’t, call! Good manners never go out of style.

Be intentional – in your images and words if you’re dating online and certainly with what you say in person. It involves a lot of honesty and vulnerability but can save a lot of time and heartache in the long run. Show your personality, don’t try to figure out who the other person wants you to be.

When it’s good, be willing to fall in love even if you have to pick up the pieces of a broken heart. Jump in again.

Mercy Pronoun: She/her/hers Sexual Identification: Lesbian/Queer Job: Carpenter, Photographer, Coach Volunteer: The Rebuilding Center Do’s: Adventure, Dream, Laugh Don’t: Hate, Fear, Regret Tell us a little about you I moved to Portland five years ago. I love this city.

I am a carpenter for Environs and a photographer for Your Sunday Best Photography. I enjoying hiking and just getting outdoors in general. I like IPAs, handmade everything, tea, chocolate, laughing, long walks anywhere, balance, sewing and traveling.

What attracts you to a person?

There are a million factors with makes me attracted to someone. Among the top is a great sense of humor, an outdoor adventure bone, works on themselves, great conversationalist, is positive, enjoys the way they spend their life, reliable and affectionate.

What is the biggest challenge in dating today?

I think that it ‘s hard finding rad events for lesbians/queers in their 30s+. Dance parties are fun but don’t actually facilitate the most open environment for meeting people.

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So few events mean few chances of being out and about while other hotties are simultaneously out and away from their Netflix’s and soup nights. And while queer women like to believe that they are progressive we can be still held back by those gender norms of waiting to be asked instead of asking ourselves. It is challenging to be brave and expand out of our clicks while hoping other will openly do the same.

What advice would you give others about dating?

Be bold, be brave and be a good person.

Leo Channing Bancroft Pronoun: He/him/his Sexual Identification: bi Job: Tech Support Volunteer: Cascade AIDS Project, ReconcilingWorks Do’s: Cheerful, Generous, Affectionate Don’t: Smoke, poly, Trump Tell us a little about you Fun loving goofball. Clutzy tech guy. I love learning the trapeze, being involved with CAP and ReconcilingWorks, and hanging out with friends. I love Portland, and swoon over the skyline and river. I enjoy the beautiful architecture and the exquisiteness of trees.

I would love to make the world a better place, and someone to cuddle at the end of the day would make it even better.

I love to laugh, think deep thoughts about society, watch action flicks and mysteries, and never want to stop learning.

What attracts you to a person?

I’m attracted to kindness, great smiles, active bodies, big hearts, and people SINGLES - Continues on page 10

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016 • 9

NEWSHISTORY LGBT FEATURE

SINGLES

who can balance deep listening and open sharing.

What is the biggest challenge in dating today?

I haven’t dated since coming out as trans (FTM), so one of my biggest worries is how people will respond. It is also tricky, when there is so much online dating, to determine if there is chemistry based just on a picture.

Continued from page 9

What advice would you give others about dating?

I’ll share the information that I’ve received. Remember that dating is like any skill.

You may not be good at it to start with, but you will only get better with practice. Be brave, and start with just a smile and saying hello. Don’t take rejection personally, Find good friends to swap stories and laughs about the bad dates. Do fun things you’re already interested in, and invite a date.

ShannaCox Pronoun: She/her/hers Sexual Identification: Queer Job: Caregiver Volunteer: Oregon Humane Society, Oregon Zoo Do’s: Surprises, Spontaneity, Time Don’t: Non-communicative, Masquerader, Tyrannical Tell us a little about you I’m a very nice genuine, compassionate person who is very respectful of others. I love to hang out with my family and friends. Working out biking and hiking is one of my passions. I’m a big do it yourself-er around my house. This is the tip of the iceberg of who I am.

What attracts you to a person?

Who has similar interests and a person with big heart and compassionate towards others.

What is the biggest challenge in dating today?

My biggest challenge dating today is myself. I’m very shy quiet person and it’s dif-

10 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016

ficult for me to approach someone to make a conversation. Also, within the last year, I have been a caregiver for my brother who has special needs. This makes it tough for me to go out socialize and meet people.

What advice would you give others about dating?

Don’t be afraid of rejection.

Annette Hadaway Pronoun: She/her/hers Sexual Identification: Lesbian Job: Principal Broker Portland Digs Real Estate Volunteer: Pittock Mansion, Friends of the Columbia Gorge, Nepal Earthquake/Blockade Relief, Free the Oregon Zoo Elephants Do’s: Care, Act, Laugh Don’t: Stagnate, Procrastinate, Judge Tell us a little about you Kind, compassionate, creative, fun, with a wicked smart and sometimes irreverent sense of humor. I’m a 55-year-old native who is as comfortable in a boardroom as I am on a trail at 10,000ft. Always up for an adventure, never letting fear stop me from doing the right thing or experiencing life. I enjoy supporting our local music scene and artisans.

I’m fascinated by history in how people lived, what they ate, wore and their passions.

What attracts you to a person?

Confidence, ease, self-awareness. Clear, beautiful and healthy looking eyes. Playful, touchy, light musky cologne. Genuine smile and interest in me. Being good with kids, animals, people in general.

What is the biggest challenge in dating today?

For me meeting available women in their late forties and fifties.

What advice would you give others about dating?

Put yourself out there. Face the fear and walk right through it.

pqmonthly.com

Who Are The Queer Elders At Your Table?

FEATURE

Photo by J Tyler Huber.

EMBODY

VOICES VOICES

By Sossity Chiricuzio, PQ Monthly

I’ll finally have toiled long enough to earn a rest, I ponder all this often.

What does it mean to age, as queers?

Assuming I survive that long, what does What is our role, what risks and rewards it look like? Will young queers visit, help fix do we reap, and what respect are we paid? things up around the place, listen to my stoMyself, I never expected to live to ries? Will I live among lovers and friends and be eighteen. Figured either I’d die at the family as shamelessly as I do now? Most of hands of some angry man, or we all would. the systems currently in place are broken, It seems today we don’t live in the same render us invisible if they even let us in. fear I remember from my childhood—of I think about this defiant goatee on my the imminent threat of the big red button chin, a present of my thirties that I hid until that brings down nuclear destruction—but the wisdom of forty kicked in. Would a nursperhaps it’s just one more thing we’re jaded ing home let me stroll my gender defiant about. One more thing outside our control. femme self through the halls, leopard print Once I reached my mid-twenties, I was bedecked and sassy, or would they insist I sure I’d finally figured out who I was and hide my wrinkled cleavage behind polywho my people were. That I’d found a way ester, shave my chin, lower my voice, not to survive and just had to help spread the entertain fellow octogenarians in my room word and we could figure out how we could after hours? Would they finally succeed in all have enough. My hippie parents hope for quieting my voice and cutting my ties? a world of people who would save the world Perhaps you have a good job and a retiresomehow survived my disassociated teen ment plan and a house you own. Perhaps years, transforming in my mind into an art you’re even wondering how I could let it get colony of queer polyamorous community, this far, let myself get five years from fifty with bonding over comparison and social justice no plan B—but if so, I think you are an excepand barter systems and new age witchery. tion. Even to those not born to it, poverty is I’m in my forties now, and while every just one good job away from your doorsteps decade in this body has been more joyous these days, and community built mainly on and fulfilling. The experience I’ve gained social capital is built on shifting sands. serves me well, that safe gathering place The truth is, the system has already where I can contribute in ever evolving ways silenced thousands. The truth is, we silence while building a social safety net has yet to them as well. Who will take care of you, and materialize outside of precious moments, who are you taking care of? Who are the planned events. elders at your table?

Our culture permeates the myth of elders There are several queer elder organizadepending on their children and grandchil- tions in Portland, and one housing commudren to provide for them. Never mind that nity, and yet I’d never heard anything about even heterosexuals don’t all have kids. Never them in conversation or activist circles until I mind infertility and miscarriage, complica- went looking online. At events and gatherings, tions and alternative life choices. Never mind I’m often one of the oldest people in the room, the children who will need care their whole and even though I’ve not at all yet earned the lives, or the ones that leave, or die, or disagree, mantle of elder, I find myself holding that or never connect. Never mind that obliga- space. Wishing for someone who can reach tion is a thin thread to hang your quality of further back in our history, who can reflect life from, even when it’s tempered with love. our growth outside the bubble and see their I am currently partnered and hope to struggles rewarded in our faces. continue to grow older by their side, but There are issues of time and resources, then what? We’re both radical artists, pri- of semantics and politics and personalioritizing social justice over commercial ties. Of respect. value to thrive while also using our bodies This is not about pity, or duty though in labor to survive. We rent, and carve out I do feel we have a responsibility to those occasional slices for our savings, and buy that have broken the ground we now find tiny love tokens, and almost always eat at easier to walk on. This is about connection. home. We have few vices and barter for About building a stronger foundation for all most of our body care, but we’re still right of us. About love. up to the line on the budget every month.

Do you know anyone at least 10 years There’s no superiority or better living points older than you? 20? 40? What assumptions there; every vice is a survival strategy, and are you making about queers who are older something ads sell us every day. All of them than you, and have you done anything to could be regulated or removed if you live challenge them? Do you include elders in in a managed care situation, along with your gaydar or the outreach for your event or privacy, self-expression, sexuality, safety, organization? Do you read history, and send and competent medical care. Given that thank you letters to those warriors still alive? my social security wouldn’t even cover Those answers could predict your own rent now, much less in 20-30 years when future.

End note: If you have topics you’d like me to cover, products you’d like me to review, people you’d like to hear from, or resources to share, please get in touch! sossity@pqmonthly.com pqmonthly.com

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016 • 11

VOICES

LEARNING TO ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES

By Summer Seasons, PQ Monthly

Almost anyone who’s known me since I was tiny knows that I’m extremely clumsy. For some reason, tennis shoes are like Kryptonite to me and I always end up falling over. Most people know that it’s likely I inherited this trait from my Mother, but she also gave me plenty of good ones. However, from the first time I put on a pair of heels I was a natural, mind you I was six years old and they were my mom’s, so they were bigger than my tiny feet, but I was a pro. For some reason, a wedge, boot, stiletto or any heel gave me the balance that I needed to keep me from falling over. I quickly learned that I could do round-offs in heels and my drag act was born!

About a month ago I fell for the first time in I can’t remember while wearing said heels and fractured my ankle.

I was going to be out of commission from drag for a while, and somehow it made me realize my own weaknesses. I never really realized how much doing my weekly shows provided me with fun and stability, and how much the girls I work with are my family. Sure we fight and bicker, but we also have each other’s back every damn time. I started missing my weekly interactions with them immensely.

Once my doctor gave me the clearance to move about

regularly, I decided that I’d rest as much as he asked me to, but also go on living my life. It was at this pivotal moment that I realized, I’m not weak at all, I’ve overcome some pretty heavy stuff, and come out stronger in the long run for it. That’s when I knew that all my life I’ve just learned to roll with the punches, because no matter what life throws at you, I’ve successfully survived 100% of my hardest days so far.

Most of these go with the flow moments ended up happening to me on vacations, the first being my summer trip to Costa Rica when I was 16. I caught an unknown virus while vacationing there and ended up having to be sent to the hospital. I had an emergency appendectomy and ended up being hospitalized for a week afterward. Looking back on that trip, the end was pretty hard, but luckily for me, I mostly only remember the wonder and the beauty of what the country had to offer. It filled me with a love for rainforests and butterfly’s that still exists today.

My second vacation accident happened in Japan when I was 17, I won a scholarship through my Dad’s work Mazda and got to go spend the whole summer there. While I was there, I was running down a hall after my host cousin and tripped on a pillow and ended up fracturing my foot. I got put in a cast and on crutches. My host family was so concerned that it was going to ruin the rest of my vacation that they were afraid to do some excursions. I ended up convincing them it was okay and soon we were traveling to Buddhist Temples, Japanese Castles and where the Bomb exploded in Hiroshima. I became an expert at hiding my legs and my crutches but I never let that stop me. I had the best time AFTER all that had happened to me.

My third vacation incident happened at 27 when I was traveling to Jamaica. I was offered a free trip by a friend who had won it in a raffle, all I had to do was pay for my airfare.

I should’ve seen the red flags that since he was twice my age, perhaps we weren’t going to be the best travel companions, but we waterskied on Lake Oswego every weekend, it couldn’t be that bad right? Within 2 days I’d made great friends with many people and even won a booty shake contest and he seemed alone and distant. He started talking to some people that I’d become friends with and told them some very personal secrets about me. When they told me, I confronted him and he went absolutely insane on me. We had to end up getting separate rooms and when we landed we parted ways and he never spoke to me again. I never let that ruin it for me, I went waterskiing on the ocean, climbed Ocho Rios Falls while holding a 75 grandma hand who was also vacationing single, and partied at MargaritaVille.

Through all of these experiences I’ve learned a few key things. Whenever I travel it is very key for me to have International health insurance, because well let’s face it, I’m going to find the way to get injured. Not EVERY International vacation has an incident, I had a successful trip to Mexico, South Africa, and Canada, without any harm or drama. Last but not least what I learned about them recently, is that I’ve just gotta roll with the punches. I’m in charge of my own success and happiness and I’m not gonna let any of it get me down.

If I can survive some of the hardest and scariest times of my life, then I’m prepared for whatever is coming my way now.

I’m no longer afraid that I might have weaknesses, I find joy in learning how to make them my strengths. Nothing can stand in my way now.

KIM SEIGAL Real Estate Broker

Your Dream. My Dedication.

Your Next Home.

971.222.8027 Email: Kim.Seigal@gmail.com

KIMSEIGAL.COM 12 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016

Licensed in the state of Oregon.

REAL ESTATE GROUP

pqmonthly.com

VOICES

FEATURES GLAPN

CANNABIS QUERIES Out of the Closet...Again

By Trista Okel & Melanie Davis, PQ Monthly

Since the legalization of recreational marijuana in our region, my publications have been bombarded with questions regarding the laws, consumer rights/ privacy/protections, and all of the new products on the market. I am Melanie Davis, publisher of El Hispanic News, PQ Monthly, and Tankside Magazine, and I am coming out of the “Cannabis Closet” to share my story with you. I quit drinking alcohol on July 7th, 2007, but because of my sobriety and the stigma associated with cannabis, I have been uncomfortable sharing that I use of cannabis to treat chronic pain. Because I choose to use cannabis to treat my chronic pain, I have been able to avoid the possibility of addiction to opiates and other prescription drugs offered in the Western Medicine Model.

But until cannabis was legal in Oregon, I did not feel safe disclosing my support of and use of medical marijuana. So, to become better informed on all things cannabis, I sought the advice of a cannabis professional. The search was short, and I am delighted to announce that I have teamed up with cannabis expert, Trista Okel, to explore all things cannabis and share what I learn with you.

Trista Okel is the Founder/Owner of Empower BodyCare, a Portland-based company specializing in topical cannabis-infused products. Okel’s passion lies in the research and development of products and maximizing the synergistic properties of high-quality essential oils by combining them with cannabis extracts and other botanicals. I have personally used Empower products and, along with scores of other people who have written testimonials praising the benefits they have experienced while using these products, I found great pain relief. Okel is also a wellknown advocate and industry pioneer in the cannabis world. She has been featured in numerous blogs and national publications and Okel’s products have received and continue to receive rave reviews and Top Ten rankings from legacy magazines like High Times. Most recently, Okel’s product, Empower4PLAY was enthusiastically reviewed by Snoop Dogg’s cannabis and culture site, Merry Jane. Empower was also listed in the Top 11 cannabis-infused topicals in the nation by Merry Jane.

The 2016 “Green Rush” is here and with it comes to the fast progression of an emerging regulated (legal) cannabis market.

While 23 states and Washington, D.C. have allowed for the medicinal use of marijuana, the taxed and regulated adult-use model is changing the landscape of the industry.

It was once a movement of courageous, innovative, medical marijuana patients who met regularly to trade plant cuttings and medicated cookies to an industry of mostly newcomer entrepreneurs launching new, sophisticated products with stylish branding for the adult-use regulated market.

In 1996, California’s Proposition 215 legalized the medical use of marijuana. The law may be 20 years old, but the medical marijuana movement began long before.

Dennis Peron, a longtime gay rights and marijuana activist and entrepreneur, started the first public, an unregulated dispensary in San Francisco’s Castro neighborhood in 1995. Brands were not much more than homemade stickers from dot-matrix printers with grower aliases, odd-sounding strain names and crude renditions of pot leaves on them.

The first “branded” cannabis treat I had came from Mary “Brownie Mary” Rathbun. Brownie Mary was a hospital volunteer who was famous in San Francisco for both getting arrested and for delivering her brownies to hundreds of men suffering from AIDS and HIV-related illnesses.

She was also known for selling her brownies at festivals like Gay Pride in San Francisco to fund the making of the brownies that she delivered. That was the extent of branding at the beginning of this industry when cannabis was still a movement, a cause, something that most were afraid to admit to using, let alone growing or creating products. Consumers were lucky to get the name of the strain written in Sharpie, across the baggie, from their favorite cannabis purveyors.

Thus, the marijuana industry is not new, but the fledgling, state-legal, adult-use (recreational) cannabis industry certainly is.

While Colorado and Washington’s voters were first to allow the state to tax and regulate the pungent herb for adults 21 and over in 2012, Alaska, Oregon, and the District of Columbia followed suit in 2014. For the states that legalized in 2014, 2016 marks the year for rolling out rules and regulations and for entrepreneurs to launch the multitude of new and innovative products, without fear of prosecution from local law enforcement. In the Pacific Northwest, we have seen the business landscape since the law passed. Oregon dispensaries reportedly raked in an estimated $11 million during its first week of legal recreational sales. Portland streets are now buzzing with neon green crosses – the hallmark of the cannabis dispensary, and too many, a beacon of hope to end federal prohibition.

Do you have questions about the industry? Have comments or concerns?

Are there products/dispensaries/growers that you would like us to review? pqmonthly.com

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016 • 13

FEATURE

COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT: CRISTY C. ROAD

Samantha L. Taylor, Columnist, PQ Monthly

This is the first installment in a new series I’ve created called “Community Spotlight” where LGBTQ people will be featured for the rad work they do in our community.

This post puts the spotlight on Cristy C. Road, a queer Cuban visual artist, and writer, based in New York City. In this feature, Road shares the forthcoming NEXT WORLD TAROT project. Road gets real witchy with and grace, in this post.

If you missed out on the Collective Tarot when it was available, this could be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for to own a deck that’s affirming of various ethnicities, sexualities, and gender expressions.

Road’s astrological info: Sun and Rising are both in Gemini, with a Cancer Moon. Mercury, also Gemini; and Venus in Aries. When pressed for more info, Road said, “Does the rest even matter?”

Samantha L. Taylor, PQ Monthly: Do you identify as an activist or an artist? Why? Cristy C. Road: I identify as both. I think expressing myself through making crisp lines and experimenting with fun color schemes makes me an artist, but my message and my goals in life are always related to awareness and justice. I don’t always think that my personal choices (like self-publishing my work, or selling stuff on sliding scale) don’t necessarily make me an “activist.” I want my art to exist in a very specific, accessible, affordable way; but I see that as a way of exercising political values. I think activism

14 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016

involves action – creating an educational or informative piece of art and displaying it or sharing it is activism for sure.

PQ: What inspires you?

CCR: Magic. Punk. Cuban food and people and music. Cuban power that gets dismissed by Republican energy. Amazing performances by queer people of color like Merrie Cherry and Kirya Traber. Sunsets. The park. My roof. Yellow lights at night on streets that are mostly empty.

Ha ng ing out w it h people a nd cr y ing together and eating together and playing punk music together. My cat, Miss chippy.

Anger, Retaliation, and the drive to overthrow all the fucked up things that we have to swallow every day when we turn on the internet or the TV. More cats.

PQ: Hobbies?

CCR: I’m a visual artist and writer, and also a pop-punk musician. I’ve been publishing my art and writing since 1997 when I started a zine. My band is called The Homewreckers and I sing and play guitar. I basically am occupied with feelings and expressing them, as you can see via my astrological landscape.

I have a few books published, about gender, race, culture, sexuality, coping with trauma, and generally coming of age punk rock love stories. My hobbies include home decorating, making flan, walking around really late at night and going on “adventures” through many of NYC’s lovely parks. I also like dancing to reggaeton. I guess that’s a hobby even though I take it so seriously. I was going to bring up reading Tarot and being a full-time Bruja Cubana by way of Miami – but that’s a lifestyle.

PQ: What projects are you currently working on?

CCR: I’m currently working on the NEXT WORLD TAROT, a tarot deck that primarily focuses on fighting systematic oppression in everyday life. The characters are mostly queer, mostly people of color, mostly expressing some kind of dissent towards the world we know, that gauges success

and worth on financial wealth, assimilation, whiteness, heteronormativity, and authority. I think that society as a whole really values competition as oppose to the community, and I think it values conformity over loving your truest self. I want this deck to feature a constant embrace of our most authentic selves. I want to show bodies and minds that art either ignored or fetishized, which isn’t new to the queer experience; or the act of creating queer characters in art. Next World has been in the works for a long time, but as the collaborators have parted ways, this has become my primary project. As my personal relationship to magic and ancestry strengthened, this project increased.

PQ: How can the community support you and this work?

CCR: So far, just having a response is all I have ever needed. I think my goal is to share ideas and exchange art and create communities, even if temporary, like an event. For now, however, sharing or donating to the Kickstarter fundraiser is incredibly important. People who have shared the news, or emailed their people, have severely affected the outcome. It [has] been a surprise, and also a delight because I had NO IDEA all the backers would be PRE-ORDERS! It actually allowed me to realize what kind of an art community I have created through my work. I don’t usually sell original work, at all. Let alone for thousands of dollars (even though I added a big reward for original work just to see what happens TBH).

However, the predominant pre-order donations have actually shown me how my community supports me or identifies with me; and its clearly through the stuff I mentioned before – understanding, appreciating it, exchanging it. *** Queers everywhere are abuzz about this tarot deck. I highly suggest you preorder super soon as there are only about 8 days left on the Kickstarter! Also, my birthday is coming up…I’m just sayin’.

If you would like to nominate someone or yourself for a feature, please contact me here.

pqmonthly.com

BOOKS

FEATURE

BE MY VALENTINE

By Timmothy Holt, M.D.

In second grade, we made Valentine’s Day cardholders out of two red construction paper hearts. They were sown together with white yarn and pinned to the bulletin board a few days before Valentine’s Day. Everyone’s hearts were on display. I had faith that I would get Valentine cards from a number of my fellow students, but I hoped I’d get a special one from Peggy or some other student that wanted to give me a unique card, not just a ny one f rom a package that you could buy at Woolworth’s. Every day I’d look into my heart to see what cards were there and compare to others in my class, as if the number of cards determined how loved I was, but we were not allowed to take out the cards and look at them until Valentine’s day. When we were finally able to take our hearts down, it was easy to tell if that special card was there. It would be bigger than the others. And it was there, a card from Peggy. On the front, there was a picture of a dog, and it said, I’m panting for your love.

But to my surprise, there was another from Anne. When the card was closed, two half hearts came together to make a whole, and when it was opened, it said, your heart makes me whole.

Today, in years and distance, I’m far removed from that second-grade school room, yet every Valentine’s Day my heart is open and vulnerable, as are the hearts of many LGBT individuals. Yes, the past year has been a great year for the community.

We’ve won the right to marriage equality and many states have laws of nondiscrimination, but none of this ensures how many valentines you will receive, it doesn’t ensure that special one, it doesn’t ensure love.

Valentine’s Day is a poignant reminder of how far we’ve yet to go. Laws cannot guarantee acceptance. Some LGBT individuals wish for love from religious zealots that want to damn them to hell as sinners who act in defiance of God’s will. They are in our face shouting Biblical words to justify their hate. Some wish for parents to accept them for who they are and not try to make them into something the parent expects. At family gatherings they long to sit at the grown up’s table, even the kid’s table in the kitchen. They want to be recognized for who they are and enjoy the love of their family. And some still search the web and bars for that one special Valentine, a person that will make their heart race and put a wide smile on their face. Whatever, whoever it is, my wish is that all LGBT individuals find the Valentine of their dreams this year.

Timmothy J. Holt, M.D. is a retired geriatric physician and lives with his partner and their cat and dog in Chicago, IL. He is the award-winning author of numerous creative works including the new book, Square Affair. Learn more about Holt at www.timmholt.com pqmonthly.com

PQ Monthly is published the 3rd Thursday of every month.

Please contact us for advertising opportunities.

503.228.3139 •PQMONTHLY.COM JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016 • 15

FEATURE GET OUT WEDDINGS

VOICES STYLE DECONSTRUCTED

1

THURSDAY, JANUARY 21

GET

OUT! Want more? We’ll give you everything. Head over to pqmonthly.com and check out our online calendar of events, submit your own events, and send photos for your event. Also, remember to carefully examine our weekly weekend forecast — with the latest and greatest events — each Wednesday (sometimes Thursday), online only.

--MATT PIZZUTI, CALENDAR EDITOR PQ MONTHLY

PQ Monthly January Press Party. Come meet your PQ Monthly staff and celebrate the January/February edition. Free. 5 p.m. at Vault. 226 NW 12th Ave.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 26

Taking Back Tuesday/ Emo Night Portland.

Calling all skeletons, there’s a party at Holocene - so storm through it like your name is El Niño. Remember that old get up kids shirt that’s gathering dust in the back of your closet, it’s time to dig it out, lace up your chucks, and come down to holocene to sing along to your favorite emo jams from the late ‘90s and mid ‘00s. $7 cover, 21+. 9 p.m. at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 29

Grilled Cheese Disco at the Liquor Store. Savory Events presents a legendairy music night at The Liquor Store. Techno, House, Disco, and all the dancing you can handle from 9pm to close, and yes, there will be grilled cheese

2

EVERY SUNDAY

Drag Brunch: Testify at Stag with Alexis Campbell Starr. From 11 a.m. until 3 p.m. every Sunday, Ms. Starr brings you the city’s hottest drag performers, drink specials (5 for $5 mimosas, $5 American Harvest Bloody Marys), and tasty brunch— all in the city’s hottest new bar. Be there promptly at 11, children. Ms. Starr demands it; and she brings so many guests.

Stag, 317 NW Broadway.

Samuel’s Hangover Happy Hour. Bloody Marys, friends, food, beats by Art of Hot and guests. It is an excellent recovery scenario. Mingle with queers in a very chill setting. 2 p.m.-7 p.m., Euphoria, 315 SE Third. Free.

Superstar Divas. Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Topaz Crawford, Isaiah Tillman, and guest stars perform your favorite pop, Broadway, R&B, rock, and country hits.

Dance floor opens after the show. Check out the newest and freshest Diva hits, plus a variety of diverse talent. 8 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free!

DANCE

IT OUT

EVERY MONDAY

Family Home Evening. A weekly, post-work lounge party every Monday night at Vault, featuring DJ Orographic (Bridge Club, Queerlandia) and occasional special guests (Sappho fills in now and then). Jens Irish serves you happy hour all the live long night. 7 p.m.-11 p.m., Vault, 226 NW 12.

16 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016

sandwiches. Starts at 9 p.m., cover $5 until 10:30 p.m. and $10 after at the Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont St.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 30

Oh My Techno #2. Rubin Sarafinchan & Whiskey Bar Present a night that is all about that underground sound. With DJ Jak, Dan Crocket aka Crokoloko, and DJ Tracy. 21+, $5 at Whiskey Bar, 31 NW 1st Ave.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 30 TO SUNDAY, JANUARY 31

Portland Fine Print Fair. Visit the Portland Art Museum and take a stop at the art fair. Peruse fine art prints and have a chance to purchase art from from 18 top art dealers across the country. Find European, American, and Japanese prints from old to contemporary at a variety of price ranges. 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Saturday and 11 a.m to 5 p.m. on Sunday. Free admission. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 31

Mr. and Mrs. Fierce pageant. The third annual pageant will crown its fierce royalty for 2016 with an event benefiting Cascade AIDS Project. $15 cover. 5 p.m. to 10 p.m. at Embers, 110 NW Broadway.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 1

$5 burger night. Hosted by Andrew Shayde, the 5 p.m. to 10 p.m. event benefits Cascade AIDS Project. Joqs Tavern, 2512 NE Broadway.

EVERY WEDNESDAY

Amateur night at Stag PDX, though they won’t look like amateurs, trust. Hosted by Godiva Devyne, come gawk at the pretty dancers.

And talk some shit with the Devyne Ms. G. 9 p.m., Stag PDX, 317 NW Broadway.

EVERY THURSDAY

Hip Hop Heaven. Bolivia Carmichaels hosts this hip-hop-heavy soiree night every Thursday night at CCs. Midnight guest performers and shows. Remember those midnight shows at The City? Bolivia does! 9 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free.

FIRST SATURDAYS

Sugar Town. DJ Action Slacks. Keywords: Soul, polyester. Great place to find the ladies, to mingle, to get your groove on. 9 p.m., The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42. $5.

Pop Rocks! 80s music aficionado DJ Matt Consola (Bearracuda) is hosting a very special 80s anthem night at Euphoria Nightclub.

The space will be enhanced with an 80s theme featuring dancers, games and an official Dungeons & Dragons Gaming Table, visuals, rad 80s movies, drink specials, a photo booth, coat check and special guest DJs. 10 p.m., Euphoria, 315 SE 3. No cover.

SECOND TUESDAYS

Bi Bar—every second Tuesday at Crush, and it’s an open, bi-affirming space for music and mingling. Correction: Bi/Pan/Fluid/ Queer. 8 p.m., Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 5

Yes Please! For the dark, dirty and fabulous who just wanna dance, Hard Yes presents again presents the queer all-gender da party Yes Please. House, techno and deep disco, with DJs Laura Lynn, Vera Rubin and Sapho. Special performance by Die and Da visual stimulation by Exposure. $5, 21+, starts 9 p.m. at Holocen 1001 SE Morrison St.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 6

Pants OFF Dance OFF Lights OFF. Crush’s clothing-optional dance party has a black light edition. Rock on with (nothing but your) socks on! Dance music, cocktail specials, and more. Featuring tunes by DJ Kinsey Dulcet. Clothes-check available for $2, cellphone-camera-free safe environment, come early to beat the lines (and be sure you get in). Backroom cover is $3 after 9 p.m. at Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

FEBRUARY 3-6

Portland Winter Light Festival Opening. A free, all-ages co munity wide event to celebrate illuminating the city’s public space with installations by premier light artists and designers. Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, 1945 SE Walter Ave. More info http://pdxwlf.com.

FEBRUARY 5-6

Mt. Angel Sausage and Beer Fest. It’s not an LGBTQ event per se, but Wurstfest features two of our favorite things, beer and *ahem* sausage. Celebrate the city of Mount Angel’s German her

SECOND FRIDAYS

Slo Jams is a Queer Modern R&B & Neo Soul Dance Night at Local Lounge. DJ II TRILL (TWERK) and DJ MEXXX-TAPE lay dow everything from Mary J // Jagged Edge// Keyshia to Badu//Lauryn Etc. 10 p.m., Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.

SECOND SATURDAYS

Hot Flash: Inferno. (Second and Fourth Saturdays) In the heart of Portland is where the women are—dancing the night away and burning up dance floors the second and fourth Saturdays of every month at Trio. Welcoming all women, queers, and their allies.

DJ Lauren joins Wildfire, and this night features dancers from up and down the I-5 corridor. 6 p.m.-10 p.m., Trio, 909 E. Burnside.

THIRD MONDAYS

Bump, grind and crash into your favorite queer friend at Gay Skate. Look for our publisher, who’s always handing out copies of PQ. And, you know, you’ll probably get a date. Every third Monday. Food drive for Take Action Inc. 7 p.m., Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oak Park Way. $6.

THIRD WEDNESDAYS

CALENDAR SP

Comedy at Crush: Belinda Carroll and a slew of locals rustle up some funny. Special guests, and Crush’s signature cocktail and food menus.

Donations, sliding scale. (Comics have to eat and drink, too, so give!) 9 p.m., Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.

Queens of the Night: Alexis Campbell Starr. That’s all you need to know. pqmonthly.com

ance

ae, ne,

tage at Wurstfest, where you will find the best handcrafted German sausages as well as local and German beers. Enjoy other great food, live German music, dancing, games and demonstrations. Mt. Angel is Just Northwest of Salem. Admission $5-10. 500 Wilco Highway Northeast, Mt Angel, OR. Mr. and Miss HIV Awareness Pageant. Here we will crown the King and Queen to reign supreme and be the face of the fight against HIV in Portland. This will also serve as a year long volunteer commitment to a charity of their choice helping fight against HIV and stigma one person at a time. This year’s pageant we will be honoring the Queen giving up the crown, the lovely Lulu Luscious! 5 p.m. at Darcelle XV Showplace, 208 NW 3rd Ave.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9

o at

t d ri-

Dan Savage’s Valentines Special. Spend Valentine’s with Dan—a live taping of SAVAGE LOVECAST. Sex-and-relationship columnist, Dan Savage, is here to ruin and rescue Valentine’s Day! Join Dan, Nancy, the tech-savvy, at-risk youth for this very special

wn n

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 18

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 7

A conversation with Pussy Riot. Come see a moderated discussion with the famous Russian feminist punk rock group that made international headlines in 2012 when three members were jailed for “hooliganism” after protesting Orthodox leaders who supported Russian President Vladimir Putin in Moscow’s Christ the Savior church. Now say that sentence three times fast, and come see the event. Get reduced tickets online or pay $45.00 on the day of the show. Starts at 7 p.m at Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W. Burnside St.

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live recording of his podcast: Savage Lovecast. Dan will answer sex questions from the audience with some help from other revered freaks and “sexperts.” General Admission $40. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark Street #110.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14

But there’s more: she always welcomes a special slew of talented queens for a night that takes Hip-Hop from beginning to end. 8 p.m., Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. Free.

THIRD THURSDAYS

Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-the-day language, music, and elegance. An ease-youinto-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys make the music. Bridge and tunnel patrons have no idea what to do with us when we pour in. Hint: it’s always the Thursday we go to press. What serendipitous fortune! 10 p.m., Vault, 226 NW 12. Free.

THIRD SATURDAYS

Burlescape! Burlesque & boylesque wrapped in a taste of tease! Zora Phoenix, Isaiah Esquire, Tod Alan. ds (And there’s more than that, kids.) Zora is a treat and a treasure— and so are her shows. Try one out! 9 p.m., Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. $10. We’re featuring all of Zora’s events online, so get on the net.

Gaycation: DJ Charming always welcomes special guests—and ks here you’ll find everything lesbian, gay, and in between. Be early so you can actually get a drink. Sweaty deliciousness, hottest babes. THE party. Yes, boys, even you can hit on Mr. CharmWe know you want to. 9 p.m., Holocene, PONSORED BY ing.1001 SE Morrison. $5.

Undergear: Eagle Portland’s monthly underwear, jock, mankini, etc., fetish party every third Saturday.

Free if you arrive before 9 p.m. or if you use free clothes check upon entry after. After 9 p.m. arrivals who do not check clothes must pay $5 entry. Clothes check and raffle prize provided by Cub Cleaners. Eagle Portland, 835 N. Lombard. pqmonthly.com

Spanish Harlem Orchestra. Now in their 14th year, Spanish Harlem Orchestra has become a driving force in preserving and furthering authentic, New York style, hard core salsa music. A group of 13 members including both vocalists and instrumentalists, their live performances have been known to astound and keep audiences mesmerized with their energy on stage. Tickets start at $29. 7 p.m. to 10 p.m., Portland’5 Centers for the Arts. 1111 SW Broadway.

PQ Monthly February Press Party. Meet and mingle with your favorite reporters and editors and celebrate the February/March issue of PQ at Bossanova Ballroom. As always, this event is totally free and open to all in the community. 5 p.m., 722 E Burnside St.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 20

White Out 2016.

Presented by Black Rock Boutiques, a fabulous dance party on two stages in bright white lights and blacklights.

Tickets $30 online or $35 at the door.

21+, 9 p.m. to 4 a.m. at Euphoria, 315 SE 3rd Ave.

3

WEDDINGS FEATURES VOICES GET OUT THE BRILLIANT LIST

SATURDAY, JANUARY 30.

Last Chance Enrolment: get help getting health insurance at Pivot. Jan. 30 is your last day to sign up for subsidized 2016 health insurance through the Affordable Care Act’s exchanges, and Cascade AIDS Project can help walk you through the process.

The exchanges allow you to compare plans and sign up for one with a premium you can afford to pay based on your income. Get access to routine and preventative care as well as protecting you from high unexpected health care costs. Get some refreshments and all the info you need at Pivot. 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., 209 SW 4th Ave.

PQ PICKS

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13

FOURTH FRIDAYS

Twerk. DJs ILL Camino and II Trill. Keywords: bring your twerk.

The city’s longest-running queer hip hop/R&B party—where artists, deejays, performers come to mix, mingle, and move on the dance floor. We promise you you’ll move all night long. 10 p.m., Killingsworth Dynasty, 832 N Killingsworth. $5.

Club Kai-Kai. A crazy, cozy, packed dance party for queers of all kinds at a horror-themed venue called Lovecraft. Club Kai-Kai (at it’s most basic) is an experimentation of nightlife, performance, and your gender preference. If you have questions, we don’t have answers; we just have a space for you to Kai-Kai. $5 cover, 21+ at Lovecraft, 421 SE Grand Ave.

FOURTH SATURDAYS

Blow Pony. Two giant floors. Wide variety of music, plenty of room for dancing. Rowdy, crowdy, sweaty betty, the one tried and true, even after all these years. 9 p.m., Euphoria, 315 SE 3. $5.

Judy on Duty. Lesbian hardcore. Judys, Judes, and cool ass freaks. Dance it out. DJ Troubled Youth. Organized by Ana Margarita and Megan Holmes. 10 p.m., High Mark Water Lounge, 6800 NE MLK.

LAST SUNDAYS Sabbathhause Discotheque, gay night is back at Aalto lounge and it is bigger and more queer than ever before. Featuring some of the best deejays and performers around and hosted by night hawk Chanticleer Tru. 8 p.m., Aalto Lounge, 3356 SE Belmont.

The Lez Stand Up Show: Lez Be In Love. Come see the hilarious Lez Stand Up feminist lesbian stand up troupe at a special V-Day show.

Special guests Bob Wolf, Mel Heywood, Diane Gasperin, Laura Anne Whitley, Jen Tam and Amy Miller. Hosted by Kirsten Kuppenbender. Tickets $10, doors 7:30 p.m. at The Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis St.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 16

MLK Tribute with #BlackLivesMatter founders.

Join Portland State University for an evening commemorating Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. With a vision of justice for all, the Founders of Black Lives Matter, Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors and Opal Tometi, engage audiences in discussion about race relations in America and how their activism from the fringes became the national movement it is today, galvanizing individuals to stand up together against the state violence, police brutality and social injustice plaguing our country.

Program starts at 7 p.m., reserve FREE tickets in advance online or at 503-725-3307.

930 SW Hall St. JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016 • 17

FEATURE FEATURES

BLACK LIVES MATTER PART 1: A YEAR OF ANGER, ACTIVISM & ACTION

News Report, Starla Muhammad, Charlene Muhammad for PQ Monthly in collaboration with New America Media

After a year of young people leading angry street protests in response to disturbing deaths of Blacks in police custody and mistreatment of Blacks by law enforcement and the courts, 2016 will likely bring more resistance as activists vow to continue battling social and economic injustice and racism.

If 2015 is any indication, more direct action is coming as the country heads into a new year and the last term of its first Black president, analysts said.

In unemployment, housing, education, wealth and health, Blacks continued languishing behind Whites.

Increased racial tension and White backlash manifested itself through targeted opposition to the #BlackLivesMatter movement, roadblocks to voter registration, discrimination on college campuses and violence, including the slaughter of nine Black parishioners at Mother Emmanuel AME Church in Charleston, S.C. by a White gunman.

Dylann Storm Roof, the suspected gunman, ascribed to Neo-Nazi and White Supremacist ideals and was charged with murder for the June 17 massacre. His trial on nine murder counts among other charges is slated for July 2016.

He was also charged with federal hate crimes.

Seemingly every week videos of police killing or abusing Black men and women made headlines. Sandra Bland, Laquan McDonald, Mario Woods and Freddie Gray joined almost countless others who died at the hands of police or while in police custody. Their deaths not only brought to light the abuse and injustices by law enforcement that Black

communities have cried Resistance, rebellion and results out about for decades, but these cases fueled activ“With state-sanctioned violence, a few things are going ists who demanded jus- on. In many ways, I think it’s connected to the inter-comtice for victims of what munal violence. I think we left open three critical areas to many labeled “state-sanc- really start planting seeds,” said Davey D, a hip-hop jourtioned violence.” nalist, historian, talk show host and activist.

“Black people were First there’s the problem of media, which affects the more likely to be killed community inside and out, he continued. “We give too

by America’s largest city much of the past to too many people who have used our p o l i c e d e p a r t m e n t s : dehumanization for profit” and that dehumanization Police departments dis- comes in many forms, he said. Some is overt, he said, but proportionately killed much is very subtle.

Black people, who were 41 Some celebrated the successes of Black women in key percent of victims despite law enforcement positions, from U.S. Attorney General being only 20 percent of Loretta Lynch and California Attorney General Kamala the population living in Harris to Los Angeles District Attorney Jackie Lacey, he these cities. Forty-one of said. But people have to ask, where is the accountability the 60 police departments for those in public office? Davey D continued. disproportionately killed “Like we did with Obama, we didn’t demand a certain Black people relative to amount of standards that needed to be put forth because the population of Black people in their jurisdiction. Four- our endorsement of their success was really dependent teen police departments killed Black people exclusively in upon the expectation that they would humanize us and 2015, 100 percent of the people they killed were Black. For they didn’t in the long run. So that fielded a compromise only five police departments were 100 percent of those in a big way and the end result was and the end result has killed White,” according to a Mapping Police Violence been we are not empowered,” he said. report on police killings in 2015.

But this year, youth, particularly Black and Brown youth, Police killed at least 1,152 people in the United States refused to remain silent and sit on the sidelines in the face from January 1-December 15, 2015, said the report. of oppression.

“Nearly one in four of these Nationwide demonstrations people was killed by one of Amerand protests against police bruica’s largest 60 city police departtality and White Supremacy culmiments. Fifty-nine of the nation’s nated in October when according largest 60 city police departments to some estimates 800,000 to 1.5 killed civilians in 2015. Some killed million people gathered in Washat much higher rates than others: ington, D.C. for Justice Or Else! A Bakersfield, Oklahoma City, Oakcommemoration of the 20th anniland, Indianapolis Metropoliversary of the Million Man March. tan, Long Beach, New Orleans, The Oct. 10 gathering, convened by St. Louis Metropolitan, and San Nation of Islam Minister Louis FarFrancisco Police Departments rakhan, gave a platform to Black, killed people at the highest rates A MEMORIAL IN FRONT OF MOTHER EMMANUEL AME CHURCH IN CHARLESTON, S.C. WHERE NINE BLACK PARISHIONERS WERE Indigenous and Brown commuSHOT TO DEATH BY A WHITE GUNMAN JUNE 17, 2014. PHOTO: ANDREA MUHAMMAD nities and other aggrieved groups in 2015.”

“While some have blamed violent crime for being who presented their cases and demands before the world responsible for police violence in some communities, data in a continued fight for true freedom, justice, and equalshows that high levels of violent crime in cities did not ity. There was also a call for Black communities to stop the appear to make it anymore or less likely for police depart- fratricidal violence that plagues many urban areas. ments to kill people,” the report found. “Rather than being “It’s hypocritical for us to say that we are ‘citizens’ and we determined by crime rates, police violence reflects a lack of are still trying to get civil rights while at the same time we accountability in the culture, policies, and practices of the are denied the human right of self-determination. I’m honinstitutions of policing, as investigations into some of the ored to be here in front of this great, great house that was most violent police departments in America have shown.”

BLACK LIVES MATTER page 19

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pqmonthly.com

PERS{ECTOVES FEATURE

BLACK LIVES MATTER

built by Black slaves.

So I don’t think I’m Continued from page 18 encroaching on any American by standing on the ground that was paid for with the sweat and the blood of our ancestors,” Min. Farrakhan told the massive crowd from a stage on the steps of the U.S. Capitol.

“There can be no freedom, no justice, no equity without the willingness of some to sacrifice for the rest. What good is life if we are not free? What good is it to be alive and every day that you live you see your people suffering?

What good is it to be—continue in life under tyranny? So there must come a time when we say, ‘Enough is enough.’ It must change—and I am willing to do whatever it takes to bring about that change,” said Min. Farrakhan.

“America is under Divine Judgment as we speak. Elijah Muhammad taught us 50-60 years ago of what we’re going to face, and he said there would be Four Great Judgments: Rain, unusual rain, Snow, unusual snow, Earthquakes, Hail; and that [God] would use the forces of nature against America,” he continued.

“When I leave you today, the calamities are going to get stronger, because God wants America to let us go. Not integrate us—let us go, and give us a good sendoff. Those of you who are scripturally sound: Moses was not an ‘integrationist,’ and neither are we. Let me be clear: America has no future for you or for me. She can’t make a future for herself, much less a future for us. The scripture says, ‘Come out of her, My people’—and we’re going to have to come out. God says he takes the kingdom from whom he pleases, and he gives it to whom he pleases,” said Min. Farrakhan.

“It’s clear that this year was a year of rebellion and resistance as it relates to police brutality and misconduct and killing of Black men and women in American society,” said Dr. Ron Daniels, president of Institute of the Black World.

In places like Ferguson, Mo., New York, Chicago and Bal-

timore, the outspokenness, and action of youth was evident, he explained.

“The incredible response by young African American men and women on the street in resistance there and, of course, the explosive and positive growth of the Black Lives Matter movement which has become sort of the mantra of this new generation,” said Dr. Daniels.

“What you saw is an incredible amount of resistance from Black people. Very strong, very creative, very innovative and I think intensifying and growing during the year.”

Jonathan Butler, a student leader, and activist escalated that intensity when he stopped eating on Nov. 2 to force the resignation of Tim Wolfe, University of Missouri president,

SANDRA BLAND

WALTER SCOTT

who failed to address students’ concerns about campus discrimination and take meaningful action.

Black students had been complaining for years, to no avail. His hunger strike lasted seven days.

After the university’s football team and coach backed the graduate student’s demand and refused to play until Mr. Wolfe vacated his post, he and school chancellor R. Bowen Loftin resigned.

“I think it’s pushing us in the direction we need to go.

Total dissatisfaction, total mistrust, no belief in this system,” said Faheem Muhammad, an activist and co-founder of Black Buycott. He said the system isn’t broken, but it’s rotten to the core and works perfectly as it was designed, which is to break Black people particularly and the oppressed

of the world. Part of the problem is some Blacks have the notion that the Democratic Party or anyone else will help them, he explained.

“It’s not that Obama didn’t want to do something for us or desire to do something for us, but this system is filthy.

It’s wicked, and it’s corrupt, so he can’t do anything for us,” said Mr. Muhammad.

Dissatisfaction with the status quo gave rise to action.

In solidarity with demonstrators in Ferguson and nationwide protests in honor of Michael Brown, Jr., the Blackout Collective shut down the Bay Area Rapid Transit in West Oakland on “Blackout Black Friday.” In Chicago, thousands took to the streets the same day in response to the death of 17-year-old Laquan McDonald, who was shot and killed by Chicago Police Officer Jason Van Dyke in October last year. Video of the encounter was not made public until November 2015 and only after a judge ordered its release.

Soon after the teens death, the city quickly paid a $5 million settlement to the family. Allegations of a conspiracy and cover-up quickly ignited protests in a city whose sordid police history is well documented. In response, demFREDDIE GRAY onstrators shut down the Magnificent Mile, on Black Friday, causing retailers to lose millions of dollars.

Retailers, who count on November and December holiday sales to boost their financial coffers, took a hit in 2015 as sales spiraled downward. According to a mid-December article on Forbes.com, post-Thanksgiving days have been terrible for most retailers in 2015.

According to the National Retail Federation, this year’s holiday sales are “slower than expected.”

While some analysts attribute the decline to fewer dollars coming in due to lower prices, it’s clear that this year has been a relative bust for the collective retail establishment.

“If our Black lives don’t matter, then neither should our Black dollars,” said Minister Farrakhan.

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pqmonthly.com

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016 • 19

SPORTS NIGHTLIFE

VOICES

FINDING LEO Back to the Beginning Leo Bancroft, PQ Monthly

Coming out as trans, starting with my own self-realization on March 26, 2013, was both terrifying and liberating. Of course, I told Daniel first. A friend of many years, he is the one I call when things go bump in the night. We talk about everything, squabble like siblings, and laugh till we can’t breathe.

Daniel was my first go-to for many awkward questions about being gay, and he was patient in my ignorance.

I confessed to Daniel that I thought I might be trans. I say “confessed,” because it carried the burden of so much fear and shame, and was so hard to finally admit. I second-guessed myself. Was I wrong? Was I just trying to fit in? Was I really trans, or trans enough to be trans? Was it just in my head?

I told my roommate, Patrick, next. After an incredibly awkward pause, I started with “I’ve been looking up transgender stuff on the internet.” A few nights after I had shared this new secret, we stayed up until three in the morning, analyzing why I felt this way.

He shared his fears and held me while I sobbed.

If only the me-of-today could share with the me-of-then what I have learned! I am so much more vibrant and authentic living out of the closet. I stand taller and am more confident in my uniqueness. I am joyful, and understand why I never quite felt like I fit in.

Within a week of my confessions, I decided to cut my hair. For most of my life, my hair had been long. It is thick and naturally wavy, and I never really styled it. Daniel did want to give me big ponytails, or “poof poofs,” but that wasn’t going to happen.

I did the “wash, comb and go,” and it felt like a big fluffy triangle. I told myself I could always grow it back if I didn’t like it short.

It was also time to broaden my circle of people-in-the-know and I decided to tell my friend Andrew next. In another story, I’ll tell you how his comment made me realize I am trans. But at this lunch, I didn’t know how to bring it up. I asked about his day and dawdled over food choices. It felt shameful to admit. In my head, I was a poser and a wannabe. Maybe I wasn’t really trans but just wanted to be cool. I finally got the words out, “I’ve been questioning my gender identity.”

He was not fazed or worried. This was not the end of the world, and he would always be my friend. After our conversation, I felt like maybe it wasn’t going to be that big of a deal.

However, for the next few months when I would come out to people, I still softened

20 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016

the statement by saying “I think I may be transgender.” It was a jour ney for me to go from considering the idea, to tentatively suggesting it, to embracing it. But that softened statement was also made out of fear and defensiveness. My logic was that if I expressed doubt, then people couldn’t attack my sureness.

I made the appointment to get my hair cut. I didn’t tell my other friends or my hairdresser what was really going on. I even brought pictures of women with short hair that matched the men’s style I wanted. I had to go back three times, each time getting shorter and closer to what I truly meant.

When I eventually came out to my barber, I finally got the man’s haircut I wanted.

Authenticity really does pay off!

At first, I didn’t recognize myself with the short hair in the mirror or in my reflection in windows. It was unsettling. I began wearing jeans, a sports bra, and t-shirt regularly but wanted to expand my male wardrobe.

I am blessed with the best of friends who gave me their hand-me-downs to help me start out. Each step towards living as male just clicked and felt right.

But during those first few months, being in public scared me. I felt vulnerable and exposed in a way that I hadn’t experienced before. I vividly remember walking five blocks in my neighborhood in men’s shorts and a t-shirt with short hair. You’d have thought I was streaking through a priests’ convention the way I felt that I stood out!

The places I felt safest were at my friend’s home or at gay bars. However, even there, as I felt more authentically me, I was scared I had made myself ugly and unlovable.

Two months after I came out, I got a tattoo on my right forearm: “Nothing can separate us” from a Bible verse, Romans 8:38-39. It reminds me that nothing I can do will make God stop loving me. This reminder was critical in these first few months when I was filled with so much fear: fear I was doing something wrong, fear that people would be upset or hurt me.

I needed something permanent to remind me that God’s love is bigger than my fear, bigger than other people’s judgment, bigger than my own internalized transphobia. I needed this tattoo to remind me that I am still good, and whole, and worthy of love. I needed this tattoo to connect me to my faith, even when I was too afraid to believe.

TO BE CONTINUED…

pqmonthly.com

CALENDAR OPINION

SYSTEMIC RACISM AND OPPRESSION, ALIVE AND WELL IN OREGON

By Monty Herron, PQ Monthly

Catchy title, albeit a sad one. But it is true. The situation happening in the Malheur Wildlife Refuge, (which used to be the Malheur Indian Reservation) is a grotesque caricature of institutional racism, and how it manifests in our lives today without the public even realizing it. What continues to puzzle and astound me, is that more people aren’t raising these concerns, and using their voices to put a stop to it.

For historical context, let’s just go over a few things. This area of land was originally the Paiute Indian territory and was later designated as a reservation. (The 1868 treaty with the Northern Paiutes was never ratified, making the entire original 1.78 million acres of the Malheur Indian Reservation unceded tribal lands.) Then it was taken into federal trust after the Bannock Indian War, before removing most of them to Yakima, Washington.

Those that remained now inhabit the Burns Paiute Reservation. Later the land was sold to white settlers and corporations, because of settler encroachment, with a portion designated a wildlife refuge. A compact remains in effect, stating that the land must be managed in partnership with the Paiutes to protect their sacred sites, sites they are still using to this day for religious and ceremonial purposes.

For what it’s worth, the federal government is doing a good job of upholding this relationship according to the Paiute tribal council. These ‘patriotic cowboys’ are desecrating sacred lands for their own misguided and self-serving illegal purposes. This to me is a real story, but not the one you will see splashed across your television, newspaper, Twit-

ter, and Facebook feeds. Why? Because as institutional racism and systemic oppression dictates, Native Americans don’t matter. Our rights, our feelings, our experiences; always take a backseat to white superiority.

Let’s take a closer look at Ammon Bundy and his band of “clownboy” patriots. Oregon ranchers, father and son Steven and Dwight Hammond, were convicted of arson on federal lands for fires that they set. One to conceal illegal deer poaching, the other to establish a fire line to protect their land from a lightning struck wildfire, the second one endangered the lives of volunteer firefighters battling the blaze.

They plead guilty, were given lighter sentences by the judge and were freed. However, because of their egregious disregard for the land, laws, and human life; the federal government’s prosecutor did something unusual, appealing the court’s ruling, asking to have the mandatory minimum sentencing upheld. The prosecutor prevailed. Ammon and his cohorts said they are protesting these ranchers poor treatment by the government and want them and federal lands released.

Here’s the thing, the Hammonds already turned themselves in to serve the rest of their sentences. So we now have a bunch of people, who don’t even reside in Oregon (Ammon Bundy and his ilk) trying to dictate what lands the federal government will give up, and who they will release from prison. DOMESTIC TERRORISM anyone?!?!?

I will guarantee you one thing, just as certainly as my fingers are shaking with anger as I type this. If these clowns were any color but white, you can bet the feds would have stormed the place and rounded every damn one of them up that were alive when the dust settled. Still not thinking racism and oppression are at play? Ok. Let me tell you about a pair of sisters, Carrie and Mary Dann. Two elderly Shoshone women, who have refused to cede title to their lands. In much the same way as has happened with any other tribe, the Shoshone lands were part of an 1863 Ruby Valley Treaty, involving 26 million acres in 3 states, giving Cowboys access to the earth, but not the title.

And in much the same way the feds handled the Paiutes, the Shoshone was told in 1970 that their land didn’t belong to them anymore because of white encroachment. Well, the

Dann sisters didn’t go along with that and have maintained (Mary died on the ranch in 2005) that they never sold their land to anyone. So, how were these peaceful, non-white activists treated? The federal government made a raid with BLM agents, heavily armed, and using helicopters, to steal 232 head of cattle from the Dann ranch. The sisters had to move 400 horses in an emergency to prevent them from being stolen too. The BLM deputized local cowboys to carry out this heinous treachery, to enforce their standpoint that these animals were feeding on public lands. Carrie continues to fight for their rights despite her advanced age. The twisted cruelty? These people never ceded their land, are still occupying it despite being hassled by cowboys and the BLM always, but there is no justice for them. Everyone should know what the government has done to the Dann’s, but instead, everyone knows who Y’all Qaeda is.

Approximately 30 miles away, in Burns, Oregon, there are reports that federal officials have gathered, but have taken no action to thwart the occupation of the refuge.

Bundy has been seen going through employee files, computers, using the refugees heavy equipment to destroy fences, opened confidential reports on wildlife numbers/ mapping- they have ransacked an entirely underfunded site, with one Fish and Wildlife officer. All of the federal employees of the refuge have fled for safety. The number of laws these clowns have broken is unbelievable. But they have. And no one is doing a damn thing about it. Don’t tell me it has nothing to do with institutionalized racism and systemic oppression because it has everything to do with it.

Ferguson protesters labeled thugs and thieves because they were Black. Call out the National Guard! Mobilize everyone! They’re destroying property, and taking things that don’t belong to them, what disgusting, shameful behavior! Oh, these white cowboys over here?? They’re having an ‘occupation’, as militias do. National Guard?

Heavily armed presence? Nah… let’s just wait till they get tired of this and want to move on. This is what should be characterized by anyone with sense as disgusting. But it won’t be, not now, maybe not ever, because after all, it’s just a bunch of white guys in Oregon. Oh, and keep sending them dildoes in the mail, they love that!

Monty Herron is a Graduate student at Portland State University, author, and a member of the Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde.

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Suzanne Deakins

Through history, there have been as many combinations of gender identity as there have been individuals. Gender is not a sexual preference but rather how you identify as an individual. Western society as a whole only thinks of gender regarding male and female. Gender based on physical characteristics is often at conflict with our internal feelings and emotions.

The reality of gender is that we are all a combination of different genders. We are by nature androgynous or gender fluid, and it has many definitions. At any time we might identify as male, female, neutrois (being neutral gender, or gender queer), bi-gender, non-binary gender, multi-gender, agender, and pangender. Our internal gender feeling is often mood and activity related. This all speaks of androgyny where the internal balance of the individual allows them to act according to circumstance and not society expectations. Androgynous individuals are more flexible, more apt to use their creative urges in all areas of their life. The essence of the androgynous vision symbolizes wholeness, completion, and unity. The symbol of the androgyne is tantalizing, compelling and powerful. Some philosophers specially those who have dealt with the arcane mysteries see androgynous identity as the highest form of human nature. A bio-social theorist has contended that androgyny should be viewed as the penultimate stage of evolutionary progression towards complete sexual transcendence.

Perhaps this vision of unity and power is the reason the GLBT community is feared and hated by some. The very idea of wholeness, completion, and power always creates fear in those whose have not experienced it.

The history of androgyny and being gender fluid goes back to early Greco and Roman study. Aristotle and Plato often spoke of Androgyny. They thought of it as the key to higher consciousness, supreme beingness, and eventually apotheosis. Apo-

theosis is where the individual is elevated to divine status through their actions or agreement of higher power.

A true state of androgyny is a neutral internal gender that is the combination of all gender. Just as white light is the combination of all color so is androgyny the total being of our self.

The current serge of gender fluidity can be traced directly to the middle century 1950s as Elvis Presley became famous in his eye makeup and long hair, enter the Beatles, David Bowie, Kiss, Boy George, and many more.

Although these examples are extreme, they led the way for a more subtle expression by the late 70s and early 80s.

By early 2000, Metrosexual became the fad and designers started switching the straight male and female dress roles to a more androgynous looks.

All art forms from clothing designs to painting and music prelude the coming consciousness trends. As Victorian women were freed from their arduous dresses to shorter free flowing clothing, they began to gain equality in many ways. So it is with our tribe and brotherhood. As we allow ourselves to be flexible and express our androgynous nature according to circumstance, we gain freedom, insight, and acknowledge our apotheosis nature.

The nature of reality is that we are multifaceted individuals capable of great feats of compassion, empathy, and heroism when we acknowledge that we are not bound by the expectations of our past.

In the end, my flag is not freaky to those who walk the path of unity.

The freedom to be our self is here. The freedom for our children to be as they desire is upon us. Let our freak flags fly as we proclaim the totality of our being.

Suzanne Deakins, Ph.D., is an author, and publisher of One Spirit Press/Q Press. Her commentaries have appeared in Bloomberg Press, Working Women, Art Age, and Wall Street Journal. Some of her books include “Back to the Basic Management: The Lost Craft of Leadership”, “Authentic Forgiveness”, “Sacred Intimacy”, and “Double Chocolate: A Book of Exotic Love”. She may be reached at onespiritpress@gmail.com. Let Your Freak Flag Fly is from her new book, “Sexual Fluidity” to be released March/April 2016.

GLAPN was founded in 1994 as the Gay & Lesbian Archives of the Pacific Northwest. Its purpose is to discover, preserve and share the history of all sexual minorities in the Pacific Northwest. GLAPN gladly supplies speakers to groups interested in regional queer history, and just as gladly consults with groups who want to document their own history. Materials donated to GLAPN become part of the reference library at Oregon Historical Society. pqmonthly.com

ARTS & FASHION CULTURE

TURN A LOOK: AQUARIUS CALLING IN: ART HAUS FREAK

Sally Mulligan, PQ Monthly

Welcome to the first installment of Turn a Look: Horoscopes! Every month I will be forecasting fashions for the sign that month falls on. So I hope the AQUARIANS out there are ready for the fierce new year! Is there something you’re looking to embrace or cast out? Let’s look at some fashion predictions for the water bears (and bearers) among us.

David Lynch, King Weirdo, shares a sign with you, and we can all learn a thing or two from this eerie art haus freak. Welcome to the dark side, Aquarius. This year, dust off your convictions and get weird. Drown in decadence; blue velvet, washed out makeup, old money looks, bitchy shoulder pads. Play with new textures and silhouettes, and embrace lip liner and severe lines. This will keep you on your path this year. State your needs, draw a line in the sand, and make yourself proud.

CALLING IN: THE FRIENDLY QUEER NEXT DOOR

Aquarians are often perceived as the sweethearts of the zodiac. Honest, loyal, and amicable, these airy babes know how to make someone feel good . If you’re looking to manifest some extra sweet vibes this year, dress the part! Think about candy colors, goofy prints, soft sweaters, the bigger the better. Think anywhere from The BabySitters Club to pageant (drag) queens and in between. The point is, Aquarians are as sweet as candy and tender to boot. So wear your art on your sleeve, and channel some wholesome looks this year.

CASTING OUT: TOO NEUTRAL TO FUNCTION

Aquarians tend to be the peacekeepers. They have an uncanny ability to stay neutral in any tense situation. But the thing is, Aquarius: it’s time to step up and pick a side. This is the year to hop on your soapbox and be heard.

Manifest the courage in your convictions by going big, bold, and remembering that more is more.

So, think about large scale shapes for taking up space, putting on one more accessory before heading out to take over the world, and I think this is the year you find your power color. Don’t be afraid to wear it from head to toe. You deserve to leave your mark.

CASTING OUT: CRANKY LONER

We often associate the sign of Aquarius with independence, picturing these breezy queers as icy loners, rebellious free thinkers. That’s all well and good, but this isolation is self imposed. This year, think about queering the cranky loner archetype, and considering how even if you are alone you are a part of this rich tapestry of queer community. Embrace your independence with a bitchin’ leather jacket (sorry, but they’re always the coolest) and a classic tee, but consider adding a little cheek to this otherwise traditionally nontraditional style. Add some bright colors (seeing lots of turquoise and reds on you, Aqueerius), experiment with makeup colors, consider bringing back the messy pompadour. There ya go, Dottie. Make some new buds.

AQUARIUS PLAYLIST:

“Home,” LCD Soundsystem; “This Must Be the Place,” The Talking Heads; “Everybody’s Watching Me,” The Neighbourhood; “Planet for Sale,” THEESatisfaction. **You probably already know this but just in case: I am not a professional astrologer and these are just my fun suggestions. Do what you want and let me know how it goes!**

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016 • 23

VOICES BOOKS HEALTH

MASCULINITY & DEPRESSION: WHY MEN WON’T COME FORWARD

When Alex Villaneda was 15, his father passed away. It began a years-long bout with depression that he felt he could not tell anyone about.

“I felt I must be the only one that feels this way, and I’m weak as a man because everyone else is alright,” Villaneda said.

Last week’s admission by rapper Kendrick Lamar about his struggle with depression and this summer’s suicide of internationally acclaimed comedian Robin Williams, brings the national spotlight to the discussion of depression and its effects on men.

Depression remains widely under-diagnosed in the male population. While men are diagnosed at lower rates than women, men commit suicide at rates that are 4 to 18

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times higher than females, depending on the age group, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Also, suicide rates have seen a sharp rise among Americans. More people now die of suicides than from car accidents.

For many men like Villaneda, depression is a hidden secret that can be further compounded by the stigma associated with manhood.

“We have expectations of manhood that are very rigid,” said Dr. Shira Tarrant, gender studies professor at California State University, Long Beach (CSULB).

“These include men don’t cry, they can’t back down and they shouldn’t feel. What that means is when men feel, that’s the equivalent of not being a man. Often, that gets in the way of men coming forward to say I’m depressed or struggling. Hopefully, this is changing.”

It is these notions of masculinity that make it much less likely for men to seek out help.

“Culturally, men have a hard time to even talk about vulnerability, let alone accepting it,” says Mifa Kim, a graduate peer counselor for Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) at CSULB. “There’s a stigma regarding gender, so we need be mindful of that when we reach the community.”

In addition to rules of masculinity, ethnic, cultural norms can also put added pressure on depressed men.

“As the oldest male in my house, as a Mexican, and a male in general, I couldn’t show any of these feelings,” said Villaneda, who is now an undergraduate peer counselor

for Project OCEAN at CAPS. “Being Hispanic adds a whole other layer because of the whole machismo thing where you don’t show emotions at all, not even being happy.”

To cope, he would vent to friends who were women and going through the same thing. Villaneda said he couldn’t talk to his male friends because he was afraid they would just tell him to “man up.”

Villaneda remembers other sensing other men going through similar depression-related issues—in particular, his best friend. Although both were struggling with mental health at the same time, neither reached out to the other for help because of fear of the backlash.

“I trusted him with my life, but I didn’t trust him with my feelings because of the fear of being judged,” Villaneda said. “I could’ve avoided a lot of suffering. I should’ve talked to more people. I should have talked to my mom definitely, but I don’t know if I would have gone to counseling because there’s a stigma still ingrained in my mind.

Villaneda is now working towards helping other people and believes that public education around depression like the “Real Men. Real Depression” project, which features the personal stories of men who have depression that help men feel more comfortable coming forward.

“I’m trying to spread that awareness that it does affect men even if we pretend it doesn’t,” said Villaneda, saying he believes stigma is starting to decrease for men seeking help.

“With the Internet, we have access to the whole world and we see other people talking about depression and going to counseling,” Villaneda said. “So, that openness and sharing of information are going to allow younger generations to start opening up and acknowledging mental health as supposed closing up and think there’s something wrong with you.”

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HEALTH

FEATURE MUSIC

COPING WITH DEPRESSION AFTER BEING BULLIED

PHOTO BY DAVID PAZ

Britney Michelle Perkins remembers when the bullying started in second grade.

A boy in her class started mocking her because she was overweight.

“I liked him so much. He was my crush,” she says.

Once he threw a ball at her because he thought it would bounce off her body due to her size. Then he laughed about it with his friends.

“That made me hate him and not talk to him anymore. I hoped he would die because I was so mad,” she says.

The boy’s bullying only intensified in middle school.

“He would tease me in class, outside class when I was going to the bathroom when I was going home. He would insult me all the time, “Perkins says.

“I would hear, ‘Oh you’re fat,’ ‘Nobody wants you,’ ‘I wouldn’t date you,’ you’re the last person on Earth that I would ever want,’ she says. “Those comments really got to me.”

So she began fighting back. “I started beating people up. If someone had a problem with the way I looked I didn’t care about hurting them,” she says.

She also started bullying others. “I thought, ‘Okay, if people can hurt my feelings, I can hurt anyone else’s,” she says. “I decided that I was going to be rude to them before they could be rude to me.”

At the time she was being bullied, Perkins did not seek help at school. It wouldn’t have made a difference.

“The school would not have done anything more than tell them to stop or call their parents,” she says. “Meanwhile, everyone said I was going to be fine and that I was going to get over it,” But things got worse.

“I would just come home so mad. I didn’t understand why people were treating me this way,” she says. “I thought I was such a nice person.”

Over time, she fell into a depression. She began pulling out her hair and isolating herself from friends and family.

“I would sleep all day so that I wouldn’t have to experience all the pain I was feeling,” Perkins says. “If I’d been dying, I wouldn’t have screamed for help because pqmonthly.com

I thought I deserved to die.”

At home, she didn’t share her experiences because her father, whom she calls her best friend, was also struggling with depression.

“He felt as though he was failing me as a daughter, and I did not want to add more pressure,” she says.

Even though Britney did not seek help with her father, she did follow her mother’s advice to find comfort in prayer during difficult situations.

“Before I started praying I would feel hopeless like nothing could save me,” she says. “After I had started praying, I did not feel entirely free [from the hopelessness], but I did feel like I could move on past that point,” she says.

When she started high school, the change in atmosphere helped but her depression continued.

“I had been angry for so long that I didn’t know how to be happy again,” she says. “I’d spent so long hating myself. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror.”

Throughout the years that Britney dealt with her depression, she refused to seek professional help because she did not think therapy would help her overcome her issues.

“I didn’t want to confide in someone that was getting paid to listen to something I thought was so serious,” she says. “I did not want anyone to think I was crazy and prescribe me medications I did not need.”

She says she’s gained strength over the years, but she still doesn’t let her guard down with others.

“In college, I’ve tried to keep to myself and not make new friends,” she says. “The people I talk to are people I’ve known since ninth grade who helped me through everything.”

She credits her core group of friends with cheering her up and helping her get through her bad days. “They can make me laugh even when tears are rolling down my face,” she says. “They’re always making jokes and then I’m good again.”

These days Britney still copes with depression by staying guarded.

“I keep to myself so that no one knows anything about me, so they can’t bother me,” she says.

She is also shifting her focus towards her future. She is planning on moving to New York and wants to pursue a career in acting.

“I just want to go to the city that never sleeps,” she says. “I want a new start.”

Editors Note: #FeelBetter is a social media-driven storytelling campaign about depression in young people. Our youth network created the #FeelBetter campaign with the idea that sharing stories about not only depression but also access to treatment, could begin to break through the stigma that keeps so many young people suffering in silence – and also encourage health coverage enrollment among youth.

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016 • 25

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VOICES

ON A PERSONAL NOTE 2016 Boundary Push or BUST!

By Melanie Davis, PQ Monthly

Cup of tea in hand and hope in my heart I welcomed in the New Year. Fortunately, I was ringing it in with wonderful friends and chosen family at what could quite possibly be the wedding of both 2015 and 2016.

Many congratulations to both John Halseth & Robin Castro who not only celebrated their XXXX Anniversary but did so by getting married…again!

Weddings, holidays, year-end, and the start of a new gives us time for personal reflection. At least for me, and more so this year considering as many of you know I am going through a breakup. I have to look at life with a new set of eyes and an open heart.

I will admit that I was nervous this holiday season having to figure out new ways to celebrate during this transitional point in my personal life. However, after spending some time with some of our BRILLIANT writers’ one, in particular, Summer Seasons invited my mom and me to help serve Christmas Eve Dinner at Darcelle XV. Walter Cole, friends, and family have been gathering at Darcelle XV for well over 30 years to cook, seat, and serve dinner for approximately 300 people every year. My mom, any I arrive early not knowing what to expect, only that that we are more than qualified considering our family is easily that large just on one side. After orientation, Darcelle tapped me on the shoulder and ask if I would seat and serve people who may need additional assistance.

I graciously accepted my role and then he held my shoulder – after a long pause.

Walters hand still on my shoulder looked at me in my eyes and said: “Melanie, I am glad you joined us tonight. What I need you to do is seat our guest and then signal for a beverage server. While that’s happening, serve them a hot holiday meal and ask our guest what type of pie they would like for desert.

Once the bussers clear the dinner plates bring their desert and make it special for them. We have to make it special for them Melanie because for so many this many be their only Christmas meal, and for most Melanie, this is their only holiday meal outside of a soup line and inside a place where we are going to honor each other and where we are all at. You see, to me, this is Christmas Melanie…”

Our welled up eyes steadfast, my marching orders understood, and the doors opened promptly at 6 pm and everything

that is Darcelle XV magically happ e n e d . We s a t guest, served food, delivered the pie, swapped stories and said thank you to each other. Each of us from all walks of life was fully present and grateful. I want to personally thank Darcelle XV, cast, crew, friends, and family from the bottom of my heart for welcoming my mother and me into the loving fold of what I can very easily see becoming a new holiday tradition.

Speaking of new traditions. I had a chance to finally attend my first, and sadly the last of what was Dirty Queer Hosted

by Sossity Chiricuzio. On its 9th Anniversary Dirty Queer (DQ) officially celebrating all things dirty and all queer people in its titillating open mic tradition. They also announced the new reinvented DQ: Deviate coming this April 2016. Congratulations to all who have made this space possible and we wish Deviate much success. Just a heads up that I plan to arrive early, get a good seat, and my boots will be the first on the list to get blackened – Go get yours and I will get mine, see you there DQ’ers and newcomers alike!

Although things are changing rapidly for me in my personal world, I am profoundly grateful for my loving family, friends, and community who bring you in from the storm and warm your heart with hope. I look forward to the many adventures this year brings and hope to share them with you!

PS. I would be a pang of guilt if I did not mention the post-holiday fun had at Blow Pony, and Gaycation – Nice way to shake off the holidays! Additionally, I also had a chance to attend a privet grand opening reception at Liberating Desire hosted by its gorgeous founder Eva Blake. Eva has created a highly sophisticated, sexy, safe and accessible space for people to either get individual/ couples sex coaching. LIBERATING DESIRE has been offering quality services to the Portland Metro Area and folks around the world for over five years and offers group classes.

Their new motto should be: Liberating Desire has everything you NEED so don’t waste life by getting dirty at home! I would recommend early booking for your bachelor/ette parties, privet events, tastings, et. al. at Liberating Desire 4810 NE Garfield, Portland, Oregon 97211 or go to www.liberatingdesire.com for more information.

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ENTERTAINMENT PHOTOS

#OSCARSSOWHITE, AGAIN: A SYMPTOM OF HOLLYWOOD’S RACISM

Jacqueline Keeler, Telesur

Once again, the 2016 Academy Award best acting nominations are all white — a repeat of 2015 despite widespread criticism expressed by the Twitter hashtag #OscarsSoWhite. But while reading about the Academy Award nominations, my thoughts turned to the tragic image of the late Misty Upham, a Native American actress of the Blackfeet Nation who appeared during the 2015 Oscars telecast in the “In Memoriam” montage while Meryl Streep looked on.

There was some criticism by members of the Academy about why she was remembered and not others. Some accused Meryl Streep — Upham’s castmate from “August: Osage County” — of adding her young costar to the mon-

28 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016

tage and displacing others. Indeed, Upham was never nominated for an Oscar in her short life but many felt that she was about to break out when she died in October of 2014 year at the age of 32.

Over a year later, her death, like that of so many Native American women, remains unsolved.

This is the first time since 1998 that the Academy of Motion Pictures has not nominated a single African-American actor for two years in a row.

Even films like “Creed” and “Straight Outta Compton” which were viewed as Oscar contenders only garnered nominations for Sylvester Stallone and white writers Jonathan Herman and Andrea Berloff.

And, unsurprisingly, after 88 years there are still no Oscar nominations for Native American actors or filmmakers or writers.

Indians have been a part of Hollywood at least as long as the cowboy. But the struggle to disentangle our modern selves from the old storylines set up at the dawn of the medium of cinema continues into the 21st century.

For Upham, being able to act was a balm to so much pain: “Acting has saved me from darkness many times.”

However, it was not enough. Despite working with Streep and Benicio del Toro and with Quentin Tarantino in Django Unchained, she struggled with inner pain, poverty, and mental illness.

After her death, her family found the Auburn, Washington, City Police Department unresponsive to their requests to search for her body. Family and friends organized a search after giving up on the police, and sadly, found her body at the bottom of a small ravine near her home.

Upham’s story is not unusual. Police often do not take reports of missing Native American women seriously and Federal authorities decline to prosecute in over 70 percent

of reported cases on Native American reservations. Criminal justice studies find Native women are 2.5 times more likely than other American women to experience violent crimes and in some U.S. counties, Native women are 10 times more subject to be murdered. On top of this, nearly 70 percent of the men who commit violent crimes against Native women are not Native. Native women are the only group of women in America more likely to be assaulted by men, not of their own race. The statistics on murder and violence are equally alarming in Canada where First Nations women have been organizing under the hashtag #MMIW, “Missing and Murdered Women.”

Yet, these painful stories and virtually every other type of story featuring Native Americans are not told by Hollywood. All filmgoers and television watchers ever see, when they do see Native people on the screen, are stereotypes.

And in this past year since Upham died, in the new world of streaming Adam Sandler’s “The Ridiculous Six” was produced by Netflix for $60 million featuring threats of rape against Native women. The script originally featured graphic sexual jokes about Native women, who were either portrayed as over-sexed “squaws,” dirty, ugly “squaws” or as noble Indian princesses and given names like “Beavers Breath” and “Wears No Bra” — unnecessarily feeding negatives stereotypes about Native women. Extremely irresponsible considering the astoundingly high rates of rape of Native women by non-Native men.

That’s what makes Leonardo DiCaprio’s Golden Globes speech after his Best Actor win unique in many ways. The last time a Hollywood star of his stature used an awards show to draw attention to Indigenous issues was nearly 44 years ago in 1972 when Marlon Brando sent Native American actress Sacheen Little Feather to the podium to #OSCARSSOWHITE page 29

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PHOTOS

#OSCARSSOWHITE Continued from page 28

refuse his Academy Award for The Godfather in protest of Native American portrayals in film.

It should be noted that The Revenant features the rape of Native women as a plot point. However, DiCaprio, whose advocacy for environmental issues is well-known, did not focus on Holl y w o o d p o r t ra y a l s of Native people but asserted, “It is time we recognize your history and that we protect your indigenous lands from corporate interests and people that are out there to exploit them.”

Kudos to “The Revenant’s” Alejandro González Iñárritu, a Mexican director nominated for an Oscar for the level of detail he brings to authenticity and the truly stunning cinematography, but despite, this is yet another Hollywood film with the white male protagonist. The Native American actors are simply ancillary to the story. This can be seen in virtually every Hollywood film with Native Americans in it. From the Unforgiven to Dances with Wolves, to television shows like Longmire.

And Native American comic Ryan McMahon, speaks for many Native American cinefiles when he asks in an article in Vice if, “it is time the world hear Indigenous voices ... why were there so few speaking roles for Indigenous people in The Revenant?”

In light of this, I call for a moratorium on “buckskin and loincloth parts” until portrayals of Native people are balanced with those featuring modern Native American protagonists. We must get away from the portrayal of Native people as either savage warriors of the past, “Indian princesses” to be courted and conveniently killed off before giving birth to a Mestizo nation north of the Rio Grande, or as stoic stereotypes.

This generation of Native Americans actors does not follow their dreams to Hollywood to continue to play buckskin and loincloth Potemkin villager parts that serve only to provide a backdrop to a white male actor’s heroics. I agree with Nigerian novelist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie when she said in her TED Talk that “The Danger of a Single Story” — that is, the world seen only from the perspective of the white male — is that, “it robs people of dignity. It makes our recognition of our equal humanity difficult. It emphasizes how we are different rather than how we are similar ... Many stories matter.”

And when I call for modern roles I mean not just the odd, wealthy casino owner in “House of Cards,” or an obnoxious tribal leader denying lovely white characters the right to adopt an Indian baby, or even, the silent, perfect killer pqmonthly.com

Indian in Fargo, the TV series.

Zahn McClarnon, the Lakota actor who plays cold-blooded, Native American killer Hanzee on “Fargo,” expressed his frustration with the limited roles offered to Native American actors in an interview with New York Magazine. “I’d love a role where I’m playing a father, a loving husband, a relationship-based movie. A child and father, father-son kind of thing,” said McClarnon.

“I do a lot of that stuff in my classes I take, and I have a lot of fun doing it. Just being a human being and relating to another human being.”

In this vacuum of diverse portrayals, it is no wonder that stereotypes are all most Amer icans know about Native people.

The result of this whitewashing of racially diverse American stories — both those based in the real world and those in fantasy — was found in a 2014 UCLA study to reduce minority representation in films by more than half. Racial minorities make up 40 percent of the population but only 17 percent of leads in films while 83 percent of the lead actors in films are white.

America is rich in stories — embarrassingly so. Let’s bring all the missing stories to the table and then we can begin to see each other as people.

That desire to share her story and her dreams are what drew Misty Upham to acting and for her to blurt out at theater camp at 12 years of age, “My name is Misty

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“Results that move you!”

Upham, and someday you will know that name as the best contemporary Native American actress.”

She and every American child deserve the right to do so unhampered by stereotypes and an industry stuck on a single story.

Jacqueline Keeler is a Navajo/Yankton Dakota Sioux writer living in Portland, Oregon. She has been published in Salon, Indian Country Today, Earth Island Journal and the Nation. She is finishing her first novel “Leaving the Glittering World” set in the shadow of the Hanford Nuclear Reservation in Washington State during the discovery of Kennewick Man.

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