PQ Monthly: May/June 2012

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PQMONTHLY.COM VOL 1 No. 4 May/June 2012

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PRIDE ROUND UP, PART I

EXPLORING OUR NUDE CHILDHOOD FOLK HERO JOHN BRENNAN

FANTASIES

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Belief can be such a funny, tragic, beautiful, hideous, eye-opening, mind-closing, mindexpanding, damaging, healing, scary, soothing thing, eh? Here’s a small sample of what PQ readers and staff feel in their gut — and sometimes in their funny bone. What do you believe in? “I believe the most simple of things in life have the power to make us the most happy. It’s opening our eyes to them that’s the secret.” - LeAnn Locher “I believe in self-reliance and I believe in

communities. I believe in equality. I believe summer is best (because that’s when the ladies wear short-shorts).” – Elizabeth Hammerheart “I believe in evidence-based reality.” - Jaime Kincaid “I believe in the healing properties of this wine I stole from a wedding reception.” - Marissa Katter “I believe in community inclusion — the full spectrum of it.” – Debra Porta “I believe that no higher power has ever instructed or intended its followers to hate another

human being or his or her belief systems.” - Aimee Genter-Gilmore “I believe what science tells us. Each of us and everything in the universe is stardust at least 13 billion years old. Stardust, plasma, vapor. Therefore, each of us and everything we encounter is connected by beautiful energies.” - Joseph Galata “[A bunch of deep stuff we don’t have room for.] … But most of all, I believe in the enduring, eternal talent of Whitney Houston. Never forget.” – Daniel Borgen

A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE: Debate over Mars Hill Church vandalism................................................................................................... page 9

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Portland’s nude folk hero strips and tells.................................................................................................... page 10

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Business profile: ReBelle’s and Ragin’ Cajun.............................................................................................. page 10

Fred Karger’s historic presidential campaign............................................................................................ page 14 Stories of coming out in faith communities................................................................................................ page 18 Beck, Burns, and Bridgetown....................................................................................................................... page 22 Fighting for the rights of binational couples............................................................................................... page 28 Wayne Bund explores childhood fantasies in ‘MIMESIS’ ........................................................................... page 38 Columns: Pretty and Witty and Gay; ID Check; Dede Does Portland; Whiskey & Sympathy; Rain City; The Lady Chronicles; Cultivating Life; and Eat, Drink, and Be Mary Plus Query a Queer, Astroscopes with Miss Renee, This Month in Queer History, End Up Tales … and more!

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PQ Monthly will publish a week early in June for Pride. Get your copy on June 14. May/June 2012 •

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BREVITY ROCKS! NEWS FROM NEAR AND FAR LOCAL Lezzbook.com founder and editor Elizabeth “Beth” Antoinette Darr, 34, passed away unexpectedly April 30 in her Seattle home. Darr had been suffering from complications from a 2004 auto accident. She created the social media site, which was on the verge of a relaunch when Darr died, as a way to connect with other lesbians following her accident. The site now has 10,000 members. Darr is survived by her parents Regina Froyd and Stephen A. Darr, paternal grandparents Antoinette and Bert Darr, and her life partner, Leslie Anne Engren. Donations in Darr’s name can be made to the It Gets Better Project, PAWS, and the World Wildlife Fund. Q Patrol PDX begins its first patrols of the season Memorial Day weekend following volunteer trainings on May 23 and 24 at Q Center. The holiday weekend has been associated with higher levels of antiLGBTQ violence. This year, the patrol plans to come out in full force on holiday weekends instead of struggling to sustain patrols every Friday and Saturday. For more information or to volunteer, call 503-234-7837. A new group for queer parents (and parents-to-be) off all genders is starting up May 26 at Q Center. Curious about how QPoP (Queer Parents of Portland) got its start and how it fits into a movement toward more inclusive (i.e. gay or lesbian) groups for queer and poly parents? Read more on page 13.

Queer Heroes NW, a project of the Gay and Lesbian Archives of the Pacific Northwest and Q Center, kicks off June 1. Like the national LGBT History Month project in October, Queer Heroes will reveal one person each day who has contributed to the progress of the queer community in the region. To see promo videos for the project, check out Q Center on Facebook. The Portland Area Business Alliance will honor heroes in the making May 19 at its annual “Tip of the Hat” scholarship brunch. Scholarship recipients include Oscar Arana, Katie Buonocore, Ben-Lee Feliciano, Rachel Jackson, and Rej Joo. Local author and award-winning reporter Peter Zuckerman appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show May 4 to talk about his experiences with Mitt Romney’s national finance, co-chair, Frank VanderSloot. The wealthy Idahoan, whom pqmonthly.com

Maddow calls “one of Mitt Romney’s key gazillionaires,” took out a full-page ad in The Post Register in 2005 publicly outing Zuckerman and questioning his credibility over an award-winning series about child molestation in local Boy Scout troops. Zuckerman said that in addition to encouraging threats and harassment, the campaign against him made it impossible for him to continue investigating the story. VanderSloot recently apologized for any “personal pain” he may have caused, but appears to be continuing to harass the media. Maddow said he had threatened legal action against her and refused to speak on the record. Beth Allen Law and the Southern Poverty Law Center have sent a complaint to the Oregon Psychiatric Association and American Psychiatric Association calling on them to investigate a Portland psychiatrist’s use of the widely discredited conversion therapy on a gay University of Oregon student. The center reported May 8 that the former patient, 22-year-old Max Hirsch, sought out therapy for depression and quit after he realized the psychiatrist was using conversion therapy.

cuff remarks about his comfort with same-sex marriage and the passage of a constitutional amendment banning recognition of same-sex relationships in North Carolina. San Diego will honor Harvey Milk by re-naming the two-block street leading to the city’s LGBTQ community center after him on May 22 — what would have been the assassinated gay and civil rights activist’s 82nd birthday. Though Milk is often associated with San Francisco, where he served as a city supervisor before being killed alongside Mayor George Moscone in 1978, he was stationed in San Diego while serving in the U.S. Navy. While concerns about religious freedom are often at the forefront of opposition to workplace equality, not all faith groups are opposed to anti-discrimination measures. A coalition of faith and humanist groups issued a letter May 3 encouraging President Barack Obama to sign an Executive Order banning discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity by federal contractors.

Oregon Bears, Inc. have filed a lawsuit in small claims court against Ellipses Design. The club’s president, Brent D. Marr, claims that the design firm failed to deliver on a website that the Bears paid more than $3,000 toward. He says that the club eventually found another company to create the website, but that it is now suffering financially and seeking to recoup costs via fundraisers. Want to have a say in the City of Portland spends its money? Attend the May 17 budget hearing, from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. at David Douglas High School. If you can’t attend the hearing, you can comment online at portlandonline.com. The City Council will vote May 30 to approve the City of Portland and Portland Development Commission budgets. Oregon Sen. Jeff Merkley, lead sponsor of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, issued a statement May 9 — the five-year anniversary of the signing of Oregon’s employment non-discrimination law — praising the Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions Committee for scheduling a June 12 hearing on ENDA, which would prohibit employment discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity.

NATIONAL In case you haven’t heard, President Barack Obama came out in support of marriage equality May 9 in an interview with ABC News. His remarks followed Vice President Joe Biden’s apparently off-the Official White House photo by Pete Souza

Read about Daniel Clark Orey and Milton Rosa on page 28. The House Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group announced in May that it will take up the defense of DOMA in the Immigration Equality lawsuit challenging the act’s impact on binational same-sex couples. For more on the lawsuit and the challenges faced by binational couples, see page 28. Rhode Island Gov. Lincoln Chaffee declared May 14 that the state will recognize same-sex marriages from other states and nations. The executive order will grant married couples greater access to health insurance benefits and will allow parents to list both names on a child’s birth certificate, among other rights. Same-sex marriage is illegal in Rhode Island, while civil unions are permitted.

WORLD The Argentina Senate unanimously passed a landmark trans rights law May 9 that grants individuals the autonomy to make decisions about their legal and physical gender identity, without jumping through judicial, psychiatric, and medical hoops. The change makes Argentina a world leader in terms of trans rights. An Iranian court has sentenced four men to death by hanging for sodomy, according to a report from the Human Rights Activist News Agency. While homosexuality is not against Iran’s criminal code, it is considered a violation of Shariah law. The men are from the remote town of Choram, where a strict interpretation of the law coupled with little access to legal representation seems to have sealed the men’s fates. Activists say four more men were recently hanged for the same reason. May/June 2012 •

NEWS

EQUALITY RIDE HITS THE ROAD FOR JUSTICE, ACCEPTANCE By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

Equality Riders are bringing their message of nonviolent resistance activism to cities nationwide.

Photo courtesy of Soulforce

Students, administrators, activists, and churchgoers alike were brought together last month when the traveling activist initiative Equality Ride rolled through Portland, spreading the good news of “relentless nonviolent resistance.” A project of queer rights organization Soulforce, the Equality Ride was established as a traveling forum to give young adults the chance to deconstruct institutional injustice towards queer people and the rhetoric that sustains it. Now in its sixth year, the Ride has engaged with over 70 academic institutions whose policies discriminate against LGBTQ individuals. “The Equality Ride has a few different objectives,” explains participant J. Mason. “The most obvious one: we want these policies to change! We want to create spaces where people are honored and affirmed regardless of their sexual or gender identity — safe spaces for everybody. Two, the schools that we are visiting produce more U.S. Sen-

ators than any other schools in the country. These religious schools aren’t just impacting the religious environment, they’re also impacting the political sphere — creating legislation and spaces that are unfriendly towards LGBTQ folks. We want to impact those future leaders before they become parents or political leaders or preachers in the pulpit. Third, we want to cultivate more LGBTQ and allied activists. The opportunity to pick up for two months and [be] trained in community organizing all across the country is a big deal for many people that maybe haven’t even been outside of their own town before or accessed the sorts of resources that they interact with on the Ride.” Oregon was the 11th stop for the 17 Equality Riders — the second to last on their twomonth nationwide tour. However, despite the long journey leading up to it, riders such as Mason say that their visits near Portland from April 25 through April 28 were some of the tour’s best experiences. The group stopped at George Fox University, where the school’s community handbook equality ride page 33

KRIS HERMANNS JUMPS RIGHT INTO NEW LEAD ROLE AT PRIDE FOUNDATION By Sunny Clark

achieving equal rights for LGBTQ individuals. “Washington is poised to Newly-appointed Pride Foun- become the first state that affirms dation Executive Director Kris Her- the rights of LGBTQ individuals manns received an urgent phone at the ballot,” she adds, and Pride call on her first day of work, asking Foundation is a leading partner in if she could be in Olympia the next the Washington United for Marriage coalition. Like generations of her family before her, Hermanns was raised on a dairy farm and worked hard, first on her parents’ and then on her grandparents’ farm throughout her youth. “I was one of those kids that bridged many communities ... both a jock and an academic. I was socially diverse,” she says. “Growing up in rural Wisconsin, you had to be creative. It was a great place to be a kid. I was raised in a wonPhoto by Izzy Ventura derful environment with a Kris Hermanns (left) poses with Mia Giardina of Outside In, great extended family. I consider myself blessed.” which is a five-time grantee of Pride Foundation. Humble roots sometimes day for Governor Christine Gre- grow great ambitions. Hermanns goire’s announcement of her sup- recalls, “My parents were both port for marriage equality. Her- very encouraging about educamanns wasn’t about to turn down tion. Along with some scholarthe chance to witness Washing- ships and, of course, student ton take a significant step toward loans, I worked my way through becoming the seventh state in the the University of WisconsinUnion to support same-sex mar- Madison, then, encouraged by a riage rights. mentor, I buckled down for Har“We live in an historic, exciting vard to obtain my masters of edutime for LGBTQ rights,” Hermanns cation in administration, plansays, stressing the importance of ning, and social policy. My parmarriage equality as a milestone in ents were very proud when I gradPQ Monthly

• May/June 2012

uated. My going to Harvard was a result of their incredible sacrifice and support.” Hermanns brings more than pedigree to her role as executive director; there’s strength, determination, and a charisma that authentically engaged an audience of community leaders who gathered at Q Center to meet and greet Hermanns in April. With close to 20 years of nonprofit administration, fundraising, and program management, Hermanns comes to Pride Foundation directly from a successful stint as deputy director of the development department of the National Center for Lesbian Rights. Prior to that position, Hermanns had already created an enduring legacy with the inception of Equity Action — a field-ofinterest fund for LGBTQ concerns — when she was program officer with the Rhode Island Foundation. She also developed the grantmaking program for the Women’s Fund of Rhode Island. Hermanns also brings to her new post her experience working for Brown University’s Howard R. Swearer Center for Public Service, building relationships and nurturing partnerships that addressed needs identified by the community. Hermanns now takes the helm of the Pride Foundation, which was created in 1985 “when the LGBT community was just coming

to understand the depth of loss that was the AIDS crisis in America,” she says. “Four friends met in Seattle and formed the Pride Foundation, in order to build and create equal access for all LGBT people.” Aided by the Greater Seattle Business Association, by 1987 Pride Foundation was awarding its first grants to organizations. “Since then, the group has become a leading philanthropic organization on the West Coast,” Hermanns says, “expanding to serve a region that stretches from Montana to Alaska, and has since awarded 40 million in grants, scholarships, and sponsorships.” “We support both individuals and organizations because our philosophy is that we must do it together,” she adds. “Full equality for the LGBTQ community will not be achieved by one organization. This is why Pride Foundation’s Advocacy Fund provides financial support to crucial work that permanently changes the legal landscape for LGBTQ people.” To serve and lead a new generation of philanthropists, Hermanns relocated from San Francisco to Seattle, where she is happily settling into her new role and enjoying life in the Pacific Northwest. “Between the coffee, the food, and the culture ... who could ask for anything more?” she says. A n av id reader a nd spor ts enthusiast, among Hermanns’a

favorite aspects of her position is the opporunity “to travel all over the Northwest, hear people’s stories, and support their dreams.” Just a month after accepting her new role, Hermanns undertook her first official road trip. “My time in Montana made it vividly clear to me why I choose to do this work,” she says. “It also reaffirmed for me why Pride Foundation is committed to being on the ground in each state, inspiring and joining with community partners and leaders, donors, funders, and volunteers across the Northwest, in places where equality and fairness for LGBTQ people and families may be least expected or hardest to find. The possibility of making a profound and permanent difference in the daily lives of LGBTQ people drives all of us forward.” “We aim to continue to pay special attention to the most vulnerable members of our community and to deepen our presence in all five states,” Hermanns adds, “so that when challenges emerge on the local level we can respond in a timely and appropriate way. Elders, youth, our transgendered brothers and sisters, and the more marginalized members of our community have our attention. We seek to ensure that the progress we make is more evenly felt by the most marginal members of our society.” pqmonthly.com

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THIS MONTH IN QUEER HISTORY MAY 1497 – Following a revolt against Italian Dominican friar Girolamo Savonarol (a vocal opponent of sodomy), one man rejoiced, “Thank God, now we can sodomize again.� [Gay and Lesbian Archives of the Pacific NW] 1763 – Two men caught kissing in an Amsterdam restroom are arrested. One man is sentenced to death. The other is sentenced to 20 years in prison. [GLAPN] 1805 – Louisiana outlaws sodomy and designates a mandatory minimum sentence of life imprisonment with hard labor. [GLAPN] 1917 – The North Dakota Supreme Court sustains a conviction for cunnilingus (aka being a lesbian) under the state’s sodomy law, marking the first such conviction in the U.S. to be sustained on appeal. [GLAPN] 1957 – Two prisoners convicted of attempted sodomy after being seen kissing lose their appeal in a California appellate court. [GLAPN]

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1992 – The World Health Organization takes homosexuality off of its International Classification of Diseases, 19 years after the American Psychiatric Association declassifies being gay as a mental illness. [onthisgayday.blogspot.com] 1993 – Washington, D.C., repeals its sodomy law. [GLAPN] 1994 – Metro Weekly, an LGBTQ newsmagazine based in Washington, D.C., publishes its first issue. [OTGD] 2004 – Massachusetts begins issuing marriage licenses to samesex couples. [OTGD] 2007 – Oregon bans discrimination in the private sector based on sexual orientation (with a definition inclusive of gender identity). [OTGD]

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2009 – Washington Governor Chris Gregoire signs into law the state’s so-called “everything but marriage� domestic partnership bill. [OTGD] 2009 – Uruguay makes it legal for gays and lesbians to serve openly in the military, two years before the Unites States repeals “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.� [OTGD] 2009 – Finland passes a law allowing same-sex couples to adopt a biological child, but stops short of full adoption rights. [OTGD] 2010 – The inaugural Harvey Milk Day is celebrated on May 22. [OTGD] 2010 – Portugal makes marriage equality the law. [OTGD] pqmonthly.com

NEWS

MARS HILL CHURCH VANDALISM SPARKS LGBTQ COMMUNITY DEBATE By Erin Rook

that they have occurred both online and face-to-face. “We choose to not give each incident air At 3 a.m. on April 24, vandals threw rocks time in the media but are handling them at the windows of Portland’s controversial internally,” McCullough-Jones said. “We work Mars Hill Church, breaking 100-year-old closely with the [Portland Police Bureau] and stained glass and reigniting smoldering ten- requested extra surveillance immediately folsions between Q Center and members of the lowing these events. In some respects we’re LGBTQ community who don’t think it should treating this like an open investigation believbe friendly with the anti-gay megachurch. ing it is not prudent to give details of most incidents.” As soon as news of the Mars Hill vandalism and its alleged perpetrators broke, many LGBTQ community members — including Q Center — spoke out against the vandalism. A few applauded the action, while others took issue with what they called a knee-jerk reaction against vandalism as a tool of protest. “Q Center does not condone violence of any kind,” said Logan Lynn, Q Center’s public relations and innovations manager. “These sorts of vigilante attacks only undermine the inter-community work we are doing and, frankly, turn queers from the oppressed into the oppressor. I am embarrassed by whoever did this, and sincerely hope the queer community can continue to stay focused on changing hearts and minds rather than breaking windows. Photo by Erin Rook, PQ Monthly We have every right to be angry, given A group identifying itself as “Angry Queers” claimed responsibility for throw- the history of hurt from the church, but ing rocks at Mars Hill Church’s stained glass windows. violence is not the answer.” A group of self-identified “angry queers” But some in the LGBTQ community took credit for the vandalism later that day don’t want Lynn, or the Q Center, speakvia electronic messages sent to local media ing for them. outlets including FOX12, KOIN, and Portland “Obviously the Q Center doesn’t agree Indymedia. They attributed the action to the with the group claiming responsibility for church’s teachings about homosexuality and the mild property destruction the church gender roles, as well as the ongoing dialogue sustained, so I understand the seeming need between the church and Q Center. to clarify that. But to say that their opinions “Mars Hill is notoriously anti-gay and are aligned with those of the entire commuanti-woman. Mark Driscoll, Mars Hill’s nity is not true. If it were, people wouldn’t head pastor, has said that women need to have felt the need to chuck rocks at the Mars be subservient to their husbands and that Hill windows,” said Leigh Richards, a Portgay people are a cancer,” the message said. land resident who works in social services It also criticized Q Center’s ongoing confi- as a residential counselor.. “The idea that an dential conversation with church members, oppressed group of people (queers) have the calling its representatives “disgusting traitors power to immediately turn into our oppreswho prioritize social peace and the bour- sor’s oppressors is some basic nonsense.” geois aspirations of rich white cis[gender] However, like Smith, some members gay people over the more pressing survival of the LGBTQ community draw parallels needs of more marginalized queers. Fuck between the two groups, calling the vandialog with people who want us dead, the dalism a hate crime. only dialog we need with scum like Mars Hill “I think vandalism of any sort is not a is hammers through their windows.” proper form of protest, and just creates This isn’t the first time the church and larger gaps in our community,” Samuel Q Center have received threats. According Thomas, one of the founding members of to Executive Director Barbara McCullough- Q Patrol, told PQ Monthly. “There is nothing Jones, Q Center has received multiple threats constructive about what happened at Mars of physical violence against the building Hill; it appears to have been a hate crime. In and its staff. She declined to provide spe- my opinion hate is a two way street. Attackcific details about the threats, except to say ing that church is similar to attacking the Q PQ Monthly

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Center or Pivot — except people don’t seem in the LGBT community constantly live in. to express as much outrage when a church It gives me another opportunity to empais vandalized. Whoever did this seems more thize with our neighbors and changes the focused on burning bridges that uplifting way I see many things.” our community.” Despite the apparent sincerity of Smith’s While it may be impossible for all parties sentiments, some are skeptical of the to agree on the appropriateness of the van- church’s motives. Mars Hill’s willingness dals’ tactics, what about the message? to participate in discussions with Q Center Mars Hill Portland head pastor Tim Smith could be interpreted as an example of “missays the church does not teach women to be sional living” — a church practice that subservient to men but that it does believe the involves living among heathens in order to Bible teaches homosexuality is a sin. Smith lead them to Jesus by pious example. did not respond directly to the comparison Driscoll advocates for this approach in between homosexuality and cancer when a sermon published online. questioned. “As a missionary, you will need to The alleged vandals also took issue with watch television shows and movies, listen Driscoll’s “crusades against ‘feminization’ to music, read books, peruse magazines, of Jesus” and, by extension, the church’s attend events, join organizations, surf webcontributions to a culture that treats trans sites, and befriend people that you might women as “not worth keeping alive.” not like to better understand people whom When it comes to Jesus Christ, a simple Jesus loves,” Driscoll said. “For example, I Google search reveals Driscoll’s fondness for often read magazines intended for teenthe expression “limp-wristed” when criticiz- age girls, not because I need to take tests ing modern Christianity’ portrayal of Jesus. to discover if I am compatible with my boyAccording to a 2009 piece in the New York friend or because I need leg-waxing tips, but Times Magazine, Driscoll has characterized because I want to see young women meet this version of Jesus as “a Richard Simmons, Jesus, so I want to understand them and hippie, queer” and a “neutered and limp- their culture better.” wristed popular Sky Fairy of pop culture.” Is Mars Hill simply on a fact-finding misLynn, who spearheaded the ongoing sion among the queers to support its misconfidential conversation between church sionary efforts? Because the conversations members and representatives from the between Q Center and the church are confiLGBTQ community, said he is well aware dential, some contend it’s hard to say. of the church’s position on homosexuality “I was, and continue to be, confused by but he hopes that the dialogue will show the Q Center’s relationship with Mars Hill the church that gay people are not “mon- and the talks they are having,” said Mary sters.” McAllister, (aka Gaycation DJ Mr. Charm“I hope it makes the ing), whose question was world safer for queer read on air during the children being born into “Think Out Loud” segment. fundamentalist Chris“How can the Q Center tian families, just as I was have closed conversations many years ago,” Lynn with a homophobic megasaid. In an appearance on church on behalf of the OPB Radio’s “Think Out LGBTQ community when Loud,” he said the diathere is no accountabillogue has been a challengity or transparency about ing but ultimately healing what is being said, or posexperience. sibly agreed to?” Smith said that while Lynn said that until the he now considers Lynn a discussion group collecPhoto by Erin Rook, PQ Monthly tively decides to go public, “caring compassionate” friend, he still considers Q Center continues a controversial dialogue with he is not at liberty to discuss Mars Hill Church. homosexuality a sin. anything but his own expe“While my views on what the Bible rience. Smith confirms this agreement. teaches have not changed I have been “Both groups made a confidentiality deeply convicted of how of how I have self- agreement coming into the process, so I righteously singled out those of the LGBT can’t really speak to [the outcomes of the community as greater sinners more worthy conversation] specifically until the time of God’s judgment. This is wrong,” Smith when the group decides to report out on said. “Also, as we have felt opposition, in the experience,” Lynn said. “We aren’t there both word and action from various groups, yet, as the work is ongoing.” we come to a source of common ground Only time will tell whether the effort with the LGBT community. We are experi- bears any fruit, and who in the commuencing, in a small way, the reality that many nity will be interested in eating them. May/June 2012 •

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to emphasize “our.” This government is beholden to us, not the other way around. PQ: How did the Facebook page, Naked American Hero, get started? Have you received any fan mail? Brennan: A friend created the Facebook page Naked American Hero the night of my arrest in a show of support. (It started with a different name.) I’ve been stopped and thanked in the grocery store, at gas stations, and at the airport. As my recognition increases, I Photo by Xilia Faye, PQ Monthly find that the amount of support John Brennan’s impromptu TSA protest landed him in the media spotlight. has increased. I’m happy that the Naked American Hero page exists. I like to By Erin Rook know everyone I’m friends with on Facebook PQ Monthly and don’t allow folks to subscribe to my perJohn Brennan’s now-infamous nude pro- sonal Facebook page. So having the Naked test at the Portland International Airport American Hero page allows me to direct folks may have been impromptu, but that doesn’t I don’t know to a place where they can find out more and keep current with my cases. mean it was a thoughtless act. The 49-yr-old web development man- I encourage everyone to spread the word ager flies frequently for business and, as about the page. Lots of likes are good! PQ: You also go by the name Keystone. such, is all too familiar with the increasingly invasive antics of the Transportation Secu- Where does that come from? Brennan: Keystone is a name I use in rity Administration. So, when TSA agents pulled him aside during a routine screening several communities. I took it two and a half years ago to remind myself to stay intelast month, Brennan decided to disrobe. “After going through a metal detector, and grated into my communities. In architecfull, invasive pat-down, my clothes tested ture, a keystone is the center stone of an positive for nitrates,” Brennan says. “That’s arch. The keystone balances the forces of when I decided I could assist my screening the curving arch. Keystones create equiprocess by removing my clothes and protest librium in the structure. A keystone has no the ever-increasing invasiveness of the TSA use on its own and is integral to the whole. A search process that has been slowly eroding keystone is also front and center in an arch. That’s a reminder to myself to step up to be our privacy and right to travel.” Although he was arrested on charges of of service and to take more leadership in my indecent exposure, Brennan contends that life, my communitiesm and the world. My the nude protest was well within his First nickname provides a reminder of the vast Amendment rights and Oregon law. That’s opportunity I have to be a better person. PQ: Is there anything else you’d like to why he pleaded not guilty at a recent court add? date, even though he could have gotten Brennan: As queer folks, we know the off with a letter of apology and some community service. Instead, Brennan is push- power and importance of being “the other” ing for a full trial — the date of which will in society. Some of us choose an integrationist approach, assimilating in to the greater be set June 8. Brennan talked to PQ Monthly about culture as much as we want. It’s a choice why he did it, how people have responded, nonetheless, and a choice that straight folks don’t consciously make. Most of us and what’s next. PQ: Did you ever expect that one act also enjoy the privilege of passing as “nonof protest to go viral the way it has? Has it other” as it suits our needs, such as “toning caused you any problems with work or at it down” for work. Others let their freak flags hang high. Our real power lies in celebrating the airport? Brennan: I had no idea that this would and using our status as “other” to influence, get so much attention. At the time, I knew contribute, and challenge the greater culI was doing the right thing. Since my free ture as needed. Clown drag, passing drag, speech action, I’ve flown round-trip with butch women, trans folks, the assimilationists, and all the rest of us — whether we no incident. PQ: What’s next for you? Will you con- are out or not — provide a point of continue some form of activism around peo- trast to society at large. Our very being gets people thinking. Through our actions, we ple’s rights at airports? Brennan: It’s too soon to answer what’s can create change. next. As a citizen, I’m concerned on many Read the full interview with Brennan fronts about our loss of rights. TSA is just one way our system is broken. And I want online at pqmonthly.com.

Portland is a friendly city, certainly — but we can’t hold a candle to Southern hospitality. Exploring the frontier of what happens when Louisiana charm meets Portland innovation are Tausha Lell and Pat Marken, the proprietresses behind ReBelle’s and Ragin’ Cajun Gumbo — queer-owned businesses that seek to bring the best of the Gulf Coast to the Rose City. Lell and Marken met 16 years ago at the Festival International de Louisianne in their hometown of Lafayette, La. Soon afterward, they took up ownership of the local iconic collectables shop, Euphoria. However, after that store’s smashing success, the couple found themselves hungry for a place that reflected their creativity, love of community, green sensibilities, and joie de vivre — and the Rose City fit the bill. Lell and Marken arrived in town last November, and immediately found themselves enchanted by the up-and-coming SE Division neighborhood. “It’s untapped, and it’s happening — you can smell it in the air!” Lell says with glee. Only a few months after arriving in town, they opened their first endeavor: the Louisiana culinary outpost of Ragin’ Cajun Gumbo. Ragin’ Cajun’s bright-red 1967 Santa Fe Shasta cart first lures customers in with the joyful strains of zydeco music streaming through the speakers, then snares them with the scent of authentic Gulf Coast cooking. Their signature dish may be the best gumbo in Portland — the tastes of savory chicken and spicy sausage perfectly playing off each other to evoke hot nights on the Bayou. In addition to the titular gumbo, Ragin’ Cajun also offers a variety of dishes that must be tasted to be believed. Particularly worth a try are Ragin’ Cajun’s own homemade secret-recipe chili, which is available on its own or served over Fritos or Doritos; and the Saturday special of Chicken Lafayette, which brings together chicken and shrimp in a creamy, spicy, deeply satisfying delicacy. Once Ragin’ Cajun got rolling, Tausha rolled down Division Street to open the duo’s second endeavor: R e B e l l e’s . The shop is a feast for the senses, presenting an impeccably wellcurated collection of highquality yet reasonablypriced vintage garments and

10 • May/June 2012

By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

PhotoS by Xilia Faye, PQ Monthly

ReBelle’s and Ragin’ Cajun owners Pat Marken and Tausha Lell

housewares alongside one-of-a-kind art and jewelry from across the country. Numerous couches — and a wine decanter that never seems to stop being passed around and refilled — make it a shop that veritably demands shoppers to come in and sit a spell. Speaking of spells, ReBelle’s is also home to Lell’s pet project, the custom perfumery, Euphoric Blends. While ReBelle’s keeps numerous house fragrances in stock, Lell also keeps nearly 60 oils at their counter to enable her to craft the perfect personal scent for each individual. “We can create a custom fragrance for you using a series of questions regarding scent preferences,” Lell says. “Building your own signature scent is like painting a picture — it can take some time to develop a finished product, but the end result is worth it.” Considering that Lell’s custom fragrances can be smelled on ladies and gents as far away as London and Sidney, the result is unquestionably worth the time — so stop in, stay a while, and enjoy Lell and Marken’s Southern hospitality. Laissez les bon temps rouler! ReBelle’s is located at 3611 SE Division St. in Portland. Hours vary. For more information, call 337-654-0293 or check out rebellespdx.com. Ragin’ Cajun Gumbo is open for lunch and dinner and located in the A La Carts Extraordinaire pod at 4926 SE Division St. For more information, call 337-315-9266 or email ragincajungumbo@gmail.com.

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FEATURES

TACKLING TITANS: THE PORTLAND SHOCKWAVE

One Shockwave player says the team’s mix of rookies and veterans makes learning the game easy for newcomers. Daniel Borgen PQ Monthly

We’d put money on the following: we’re betting you didn’t know our fair city boasted a collection of ladies with such tenacity and athletic prowess that they formed their own football team. OK, maybe we’d lose that bet — but did you real-

Photo by Jenn Drake

i z e t here’s a n ent i re league — the Independent Women’s Football League? Oh, you knew that too? Damn. Well, we’re thinking that — despite all your women’s football knowledge — you’ve never had a sneak peek into this team’s collective psyche or a glimpse of how they tick. We got to do just that when we chatted with members of the Portland Shockwave; we talked to rookies and years-long members. The fruits of our labor can be found below. Time to talk football: more specifically, why? The more athleticallychallenged among us want to know why anyone would subject themselves to the sweat, the exertion, the tackles involved with

a sport like football. Tara Krugel, rookie member, had this to say: “I love football — whether I’m watching my favorite teams, playing Madden, or preparing for a fantasy draft. So to have the chance to play the sport I love, one of the only ones that happen to value big, mammoth women like me, is a lot of fun and learning it on the field just makes me appreciate

the game even more.” Candid, self-deprecating. We like those kinds of answers. Katelyn Bailey, who’s in her second year, expands a bit: “Initially I played because I was an athlete all throughout high school and college and I wanted to continue to be involved with team sports. But by far, I have continued playing because of the community of women I get to play with every week. They are some of the most inspiring and intriguing people I know.” Waxing sweetly and seriously — we like that, too. So, a few nuts and bolts regarding the whys. Clearly some are born for athletic greatness, others of us — well, we can buy tickets and watch! Spectators play a very important role, right? Anyway, imagine if these footballers had only a handful of words to convince you to sign on — and even if those don’t necessarily work, we’re betting the pitches will be enough to get you out and cheering them on. Bailey has more: “Have you ever wanted to wake up every morning feeling like you were run over by a truck? Have you ever wanted to explain strange bruises covering your arms to strangers? Do you enjoy being soaking wet, despite wearing four layers of clothing, while the temperature dips into the 30s — only to be thrown into a puddle again? Probably not.” “But,” she continues, “have you ever had your car break down and not known who to ask for help? Or been under the weather and short on cash and wanted a nurse to give you some advice? Or just needed someone to look after your kids or pets without expecting a paycheck? Then play women’s football. We’re a big happy family that takes care of each other. “And, since no one is getting a sweet $10 million signing bonus, we go to the office every morning so that we can take a red-eye flight to another state and win a game tackling titans page 39

TWO NEW QUEER PARENTING GROUPS SPRING UP IN PDX By Erin Rook PQ Monthly

Parenting can be a challenging and isolating job — all the more so when the parents are queer. Though Portland has groups for lesbian moms and gay dads, until recently there was nowhere for queer parents to connect with others who don’t quite fit the gay/lesbian mold. True to Portland, when it rains, it pours. The city now has two groups for queer parents, both with catchy acronyms. QUIP (Queers United In Parenting PDX) is a web-based Google group recently created by Angela Carter, N.D. The other group, QPoP (Queer Parents of Portland), was started by Ejiria Walker and will meet pqmonthly.com

at Q Center every fourth Saturday from 10 a.m. to noon starting May 26. Carter, a 33-year-old naturopathic doctor at Sacred Vessel Natural Medicine, says she started QUIP a couple of months ago to provide a resource to fit the diverse and unique needs of queer and poly parents. “QUIP is all inclusive, welcoming parents and families across the spectrum of queerness, all gender identities, and all family styles,” Carter says. “I hope it will be a forum for discussion of important issues in our lives and in the world, and how they pertain to parenting. Discussing where to find a good lactation consultant is important stuff, but so QUIP and QPoP both look to be a resource for queer parents of all stripes. is discussing how to raise children steeped in the ethics we value with love for their community.”

Though QUIP is currently online-only, Carter says she hopes to schedule a meetup soon. “We’re in the midst of scheduling a picnic in Peninsula Park for everyone to meet and play in the (hopefully) sunshine,” Carter says. “It’s great for the kids to meet and play together, and it’s also lovely to have just parent time to meet for tea or drinks and have relaxed conversation. The picnic is definitely for everyone.” Walker, a 35-year-old nurse at Outside In, started QPoP for similar reasons. She wanted to connect with queer parents who could relate to her experiences. Though she had tried out other LGBTQ parents’ groups, something was always missing. “I have attended a few [groups] and I found that most of them didn’t have what I was looking for,” Walker says. “I felt all ...loving and nourishing forms of parenthood are important and should be celebrated and welcomed. I found that to be a slight challenge with most groups I attended.” QPoP, on the other hand, makes it a point to specifically welcome trans parents, poly parents, single parents, and other “alternative” family structures. The two groups were not aware of one another prior to this article, but Carter says she’s “delighted” to hear about QPoP and

points out the potential for “extending the family.” That family includes the children, who also benefit from connecting with others who share their experiences. “A social outlet where children of queer parents can play together is also essential,” Carter says. “The kid I consider my stepson is very hesitant to talk about his family at school, and simply resorts to, ‘it’s complicated’ most of the time. Kids love to feel a sense of belonging, and enjoy knowing they are part of a larger group where who they are and who their family is will be welcomed.” While QPoP meetings are open to all family members, including pregnant and soon-to-be parenting queers, Walker says she also hopes to organize some parents’ nights out in the future. “Being a parent can be [difficult]. Add to that being a queer parent. We need support and understanding within our community,” Walker says. “It’s important to know that there are other queer parents who endure some of the same challenges. It’s even more important to have the ability to seek support when we are having issues that non-queer parents just won’t have experience in.” To learn more about QUIP, find them on Google Groups. You can find QPoP on Facebook and at Q Center every fourth Saturday. May/June 2012 • 13

FEATURES

GAY, REPUBLICAN, AND RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT: FRED KARGER’S HISTORIC NATIONAL CAMPAIGN By Erin Rook PQ Monthly

Fred Karger knows his chances of winning the 2012 Republican presidential nomination are slim — his name is on the ballot in only six states and he hasn’t been invited to a single debate — but that hasn’t stopped him from campaigning as the first openly gay candidate from either of the major parties. PQ Monthly chatted with Karger while he Fred Karger was on his way to a May 4 appearance on “Hardball with Chris Matthews.” It was his third appearance on national television in as many days — an oddity in a campaign marked by relative rejection from mainstream media. (The “Hardball” appearance was his first.) The networks wanted him to talk about gays in the Republican Party — in light of the resignation of Richard Grennell, Mitt Romney’s openly gay foreign policy spokesperson — not his campaign. But that didn’t stop Karger from interjecting, “as the first openly gay candidate for president ...” at every opportunity. The 62-year-old activist is nothing if not persistent. And optimistic. As quick to laugh as he is to call people out on their hypocrisy, Karger manages to maintain a sense of humor about his outsider status while getting serious about fighting injustice. Though he has never held elected office, Karger has extensive experience in both Republican politics and LGBTQ activism (though, until recently, these endeavors were not concurrent). Why run for this office at this time? The way Karger sees it, a number of factors lined up to make 2012 an auspicious time to try to bring balance to the GOP and help pave the way for a gay president. “The party got hijacked by the far right,” Karger says. “One of the reasons I decided to step up to the plate this time is because I thought it was time for the Republican Party to lead the way [in acceptance of LGBTQ people].” The Californian outsider — whose campaign slogan is a fitting “Fred who?” — takes inspiration from the 1972 campaign of Shirley Chisolm, the first African-American, and first Democrat woman, to mount a serious campaign for the presidency. “I remember that campaign very well,” Karger says. “She was largely shunned by the mainstream media … but she paved the 14 • May/June 2012

way for Jesse Jackson and Barack Obama. I’m hopeful if it’s not me this time, there’ll be an openly gay or lesbian candidate long before 36 years.” The former actor has worked on nine presidential campaigns and served as a senior consultant for Presidents George H.W. Bush, Ronald Reagan, and Gerald Ford. Four years after retiring from political consulting, Karger came out publicly in 2008 and founded Californians Against Hate (now Rights Equal Rights), which investigated the role of the LDS Church and National Organization for Marriage in campaigns against marriage equality. Having a foot in both the Republican Party and the LGBTQ community hasn’t always been easy. Karger has had to come out as gay among Republicans and as Republican among gays. He says the latter coming out was met with the most resistance. “As I travel around the country and meet with Republican Party leadership … they are very courteous to me,” Karger says. “I’m sure I’m the first openly gay person that some of them have ever met with and I think that’s good. I have an impeccable Republican resume — it throws them. It makes it a little harder to disagree with me.” He acknowledges that the reception from Republicans hasn’t been entirely rosy. He’s had meetings cancelled at the last minute (“I suspect they found out [I was gay].”) and there’s the whole matter of not being admitted to a single debate, despite exceeding the stated qualifications. Still, he says, the response from the leadership of LGBTQ organizations has been worse. “The LGBT community has been the coldest reception I’ve gotten,” Karger says. “I was hoping that because of all my aggressive activism that they would be a little more welcoming. I’ve done so much for the cause.” Despite some LGBTQ folks’ apprehension about his political affiliation, Karger says he will “continue to be the conscience and try to put [groups like NOM and the American Family Association] under the microscope.” Though that activism is unlikely to take place in the Oval Office, Karger hopes that if he gets enough delegates he’ll be able to earn a speaking spot at the Republican National Convention. Through all the roadblocks his campaign has faced, Karger presses on with a wide grin and a fierce determination. “I’m gonna stick with it through [the] California [primaries],” Karger says. “I’m enjoying this new chapter in my life. I should have run for president years ago.” To learn more about Fred Karger and see the first presidential campaign ad featuring a gay kiss (the “Sexy Frisbee” ad temporarily banned by YouTube), visit fredkarger.com. pqmonthly.com

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DEDE DOES PORTLAND

Photo by Xilia Faye

HELLCAT TO ACTIVIST By Dede Desperate PQ Monthly

Never would I have considered myself a community activist or a leader until I was asked to write a column about volunteerism. After some serious reflection on what led up to this moment, I have come to embrace my newfound path in my community. As a matter of fact, if you had asked me to describe myself, it would have been as more of a rebel, outcast, foul-mouthed, bitchy gypsy. I’ve done so much wrong in my life that I felt trapped in negativity. Looking for a way out, I found myself caring for my surroundings and what other people thought of me. The realization that you make up part of your community and your actions contribute to the wholeness of that community can be a slap in the face to someone who never really considered others people’s feelings before. However, there is only so much much drinking, drugging, and destructive behavior one can do before that inner desire for happiness and fulfillment take over. When it did, I felt a desire to do better and be better. This feeling was was so foreign to me, as my life was spent in survival mode and I was always ready to fight or defend myself at any moment. Once I awoke and took a detailed account of all my past shenanigans, I realized it was damage control time, not only to my reputation but to my soul. I started doing all the things that I always wanted but never had the drive or courage to accomplish — simple goals like going

to school, getting my own apartment, and bringing a dog back into my life. The biggest accomplishment I added to my life was choosing to get involved in community service. I came to understand that if I wanted to change myself and the world I had grown so desperately to hate, I would have to join it, create in it, and believe in it like never before. I had been pulled into volunteering on and off in my life by family and friends but it was never something I chose to do on my own — until a few years ago, 2009 to be precise, when I stumbled upon Q Center. The LGBTQA community center had been sitting at the end of my street for over a year before I decided to go in and see what all the fuss was about. Q Center staff and volunteers accepted me for me, unlike any other place in my past. I was given my position based on my skill and not my skirt. It has been the longest relationship in my life to date. I have never been asked to compromise or change myself, unlike every other place I had worked or volunteered. In my past there was always this underlying understanding between my superiors and me that I needed to change my appearance in order to succeed. I have been able to flourish inside the walls of Q Center and because of this I have been able to go from hellcat to activist, and become a leader within Portland’s LGBTQA community, which is struggling for equality. It started as a just a few events here and there, then led to doing a weekly reception gig, and I now serve as one of three volunteer coordinators at Q Center. Jillian Fouch, Lissy Richards (shout out to my partners), and I lead more than 200 extremely diverse and amazing volunteers. We have been able to really turn around the volunteer program and create a new system from scratch. I know that Lissy, Jill, and I volunteer because we want a better world, a world that can only be better if we are doing better. The reward that comes with volunteerism is never monetary, but so much more than that, because we are able to see the direct effects of change in people’s lives. We provide services at Q Center that are not available in most cities across America. We are able to give counselling, support groups, community space, and a true safe space to all people. These are such powerful tools, and they are primarily provided by volunteers. Every day allies and LGBTQ community members are giving their time and energy to building and fostering a better Portland. I want to hear from you and where you volunteer in Portland and why, so we can spread the word and feed the masses. This city will become what we make.

Dede is a Southern-grown transplant working on a BS in women’s studies and a minor in Spanish all the while volunteering with Q Center as a volunteer coordinator. She-he is also a indie horror flick princess with a background in go-go dancing and a fascination for the strange and unusual. Contact her-him at dede@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

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WWW.SUPUBLICO.COM May/June 2012 • 17

PERSPECTIVES

STORIES OF COMING OUT IN FAITH COMMUNITIES Compiled and edited by Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

Recent polls indicate that 83 percent of Americans identify as a member of a religious denomination, and a majority of Americans report that their religion plays a “very important� role in their lives. For some queer people, this statistic can be chilling — especially for those who have faced negative experiences when coming out in their religious communities. To open up a dialogue, PQ presents the stories of three people from radically different spiritual backgrounds who came out as queer in their faith communities. Some had happy, positive experiences — others confronted immense challenges within and without. However, the stories also show the ways that the challenge of coming out in their religious communities helps queer people to have a deeper walk with their own spirituality. The conversation is far from over, and needs your voice. We invite you to share your experiences and to continue the dialogue, whether it’s with your congregations, your friends and family, or at www.PQMonthly.com. TERRY BLAS, THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTERDAY SAINTS There’s this photograph that hangs in my kitchen above my stove. It’s printed on a block of wood for easy hanging, the way they offer in many photo developing places in Mexico. The photograph shows my sister, 11 years old, her hair in pigtails and wearing a dark bathing suit. She stares strangely at me, confused by my outfit and my pose. I was proudly wearing a bright yellow girl’s Tweety Bird bathing suit, my arms stretched out as if I were in a Broadway play belting out the final note in an essential “I Want� number that ends Act 1. I’m smiling real big, an insane smile that would put the Chesire Cat to shame. I couldn’t help it, though. I was happy. I was a little kid. I was 6 years old then. I had no idea what “gay� was or what sex was or even what those things meant out in the world. I was young and innocent, but I was also going to a lot of church. The church I was raised in, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, teaches that children are innocent until an age when they can determine the difference between right and wrong, when they are able to choose between the two. A sin only occurs when they openly choose to do wrong. They’ve deemed that age of accountability to be 8 years old. I don’t know about you but at 8 years old I was more concerned with which My Little Pony had better hair and whether or not there

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was going to be a new episode of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlesâ€? on that week. I certainly wasn’t capable of making a lifelong covenant with Jesus by any means. It’s been some 20 years since I was 8 years old and it’s been a long road for some people in my life. They believe that being gay is a choice, but it’s not. A choice is when you wake up in the morning and think about whether or not you want oatmeal with maple syrup or eggs and toast with tabasco sauce for breakfast. I never thought about being gay, sort of like I never made a decision to be Latino, or Caucasian. These are three things that I did not choose when I came into this world. They are an unchangeable part of my being that I will always have in me. Because of that, this in turn ok tells me that racism and homophobia are in Ro by Er the same thing, because they are discriminaork w t Ar tion against somebody for something that they are and had no say in. This is why it’s still such a radical issue in some people’s eyes. This old married couple that I used to live with — my parents — they are extremely religious and extremely conservative but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them. They’re my parents. But they also believe that being gay is a choice. Because as we should all know, our purpose here on this earth is to marry, multiply, and replenish. That’s God’s plan. So if someone CHOOSES to be gay, they are going against God and Christ and the eternal plan for our salvation. I honestly don’t know if I believe in God. Sometimes I struggle with whether or not to let go of some of the things I was taught. I feel incredibly guilty about it. I battle with trying to figure out if my heart is telling me that those old teachings are wrong or that my new ideas and beliefs are just ‌ easier. But if God made me — you know, created me in his image — and he doesn’t make mistakes, and I didn’t CHOOSE to be gay ‌ well, you get the idea. That’s why people can’t accept it. God made me and he didn’t fuck it up.

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of the stories. When you look at the Bible that way, it becomes relevant for everybody. Charles and Myrtle Fillmore [the teachers who founded the denomination in 1889] were just so ahead of their time — they were even vegetarians before it was a mainstream thing in the United States! I really don’t think I’ve had any “crisis of faithâ€? during my time in Unity. It becomes so pervasive throughout your life, and just makes sense. ‌ I know there are people who are struggling, who are wondering why their lives aren’t as fulfilling as they could be and wonder why [the teachings of Unity] aren’t resulting in the sort of effects they’d want to see. However, if you’re not going to practice prayer and meditation, you won’t see the results of prayer and meditation! It’s like saying, “Oh, I’m so bad at math!â€? without ever studying math — it means you’re going to be really bad at math. If you don’t ever practice your prayer and meditation, you’re not going to be good at it. ‌ One of my favorite quotes ever is, “It was easier to come out as gay to my Christian friends than it was to come out as a Christian to my gay friends.â€? As an example, I think of times when I’m out on Saturday night at the bars, and I tell people that I have to go home because I have church in the morning. They’re like, “Oh! You’re hitting up church at Silverado tomorrow?â€? When I tell them that I actually do have church in the morning — and that I teach Sunday school, and that I’m on the board — they’re shocked, and sometimes want to get into an argument about Christianity. People forget that not all Christians should be painted with the same brush. ‌ It’s unfortunate, because sometimes it seems like not all Christians have written off the gay community, while the gay community has written off all Christians ‌ Don’t be afraid to explore the possibilities that are out there. The same people who say “Oh my god, you’re going to church on Sunday!?â€? are the same ones who later pull me aside and ask me for prayerful support, or want to ask me questions about the Bible. Allow yourself to explore and be surprised! CATHY BRAY, ECKANKAR I came out as a lesbian in 1969 — back then, I was going on Divine Spirit only. I had been a Catholic, and I left when I was 19, in part because the church didn’t have any answers for my questions. I did come out to my family, though, who were all Catholic. I quickly found a community, a little scene of eight of us who were gay — five guys and three gals. We’d go around to every university in the Eugene area that would take us, and talk about what it was like being gay and answer questions from the students. Still, my life was really difficult for many years. I was dealing with back trouble, and was often in a lot of pain. I was also still running on Divine Spirit only, and hadn’t learned about the truth yet. It was tough, keeping up with my priority of spiritual growth when it didn’t synch up with the rest of the world. When I found someone who was a member of Eckankar [or faith page 28

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Author Jay Michaelson spoke at the Q Center in April. Behind him, Debra Kolodny, a rabbi at Portland’s Jewish Renewal congregation Pnai Or, checks out his book, “God vs. Gay? The Religious Case for Equality.”

By Neil “Nikki” Heilpern PQ Monthly

Why does one group of “religious” people wave “God Hates Fags” signs, while others display signs reading “My God Loves Everyone!”? Two concepts stand out in the message of author Jay Michaelson: “understanding” and “compassion.” We need more accurate knowledge of what religious texts actually say about homosexuality, he says, but LGBTQ people need to learn compassion not only for themselves as a persecuted minority, but for the many people who have been erroneously taught negative ideas about gays based on misinterpretations of the Hebrew and Christian scriptures. We are urged to love our neighbor, but nowhere do Bibles say “except gays, lesbians, or transgenders,” Michaelson said during talks held April 17 at Portland State University and the Q Center. Michaelson was in Portland to promote his book, “God vs. Gay? The Religious Case for Equality.” Michelson’s message: “Religious people should favor gay rights because of religion, not despite it.” SEXUAL DIVERSITY PART OF DIVINE PLAN A student of the Hebrew Bible (the Tanakh) and the Christian New Testament, he calls sexual diversity “part of the divine plan.” pqmonthly.com

“Not only does the Bible not prohibit same-sex intimacy, it honors values of equality, intimacy, love, justice, diversity, and compassion,” he wrote. “Careful study of both teachings actually supports gay rights.” Anti-gay activists have little understanding of various biblical passages that are often pulled out of context, he noted, calling the small handful of verses dealing with same-sex behavior, “ambiguous, limited, and widely misunderstood.” The sin of Sodom was not homosexuality, he said, but of unethical behavior, rape, and not being welcoming to strangers, violating both Hebrews 13:2 and Romans 12.“The Babylonian Talmud also associates Sodom with abuse of strangers, pride, envy, cruelty to animals, theft, murder, and injustice,” Michelson added. The Sodomite people who lusted after two strangers (angels) visiting Abraham’s nephew Lot were not gay, but they were rapists. Loving intimacy that one can find in both homosexual and heterosexual relationships had nothing to do with what happened in Sodom. The Hebrew word “toeveh” is erroneously translated as “abomination.” Careful examination of the 103 times “toeveh” is used in the Tanakh shows the reference is to “non Israelite cultic practices,” not homosexuality. “Homosexuality is unnatural,” some people claim. Not so, argues Michaelson, god and gays page 34

May/June 2012 • 19

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PERSPECTIVES

BEARPOCALYPSE IS COMING! GUEST OPINION: LET THE PANDA-MONIUM BEGIN FAITH NO MORE

conflating, co-existing, plural truths, and stepping away from the one all knowing Truth has There are a lot of things I been a really good thing for how don’t believe in. Yes, I am an I think about the world. atheist, but I want to get some of I do believe in science. And those other things out of the way I think science is a product of before I tell you how I its society. Thus, it is see the world and why always changing and my atheism matters to always in conflict. I do me. believe in evolution, but So, here it goes: I I am really grossed out don’t believe in God. I by Social Darwinism. don’t believe in gods. I do believe that sociI don’t believe in an ety creates individuals afterlife. I don’t believe and not the other way in astrology. I don’t around. I worry about believe in destiny. I how we talk about hisdon’t believe in Karma. torical progression as I don’t believe in fate. I Katey Pants being created by indidon’t believe in free will. I don’t viduals. We are products of our believe in the individual. I don’t society — constantly in motion believe in Heaven. I don’t believe and always changing. Hence, I in Hell. I don’t believe in being a am what I am because of how total dick about that to every- we all are. one in my life. I don’t believe I I b el ie ve i n d i a le c t ic s . should use my atheism to colo- I b e l ie v e t h a t b e c au s e it nize other people. I don’t believe ma kes histor y ma ke sense you’re stupid solely for believing and because it’s really hard. I in something or nothing. painted myself into a corner Phew. That’s better. seven years ago and accidenPersonally, I am reluctant tally became a Marxist and am to speak about my non-faith. totally okay with that. I believe Thanks to Richard Dawkins I am a radical. To be a radical is and Sam Harris, atheists have to see a problems at their roots, gotten a bad rap for being arro- and at our roots I think our gant secular elitists. Due to peo- culture is unabashedly racist, ple’s intense personal convic- sexist, homophobic, and has a tions about their faith, I nor- real disdain for the poor. This mally encounter extremely does not mean we are incapadefensive reactions to my non- ble of changing that. faith that leave me feeling more I believe in what is here and like a therapist than someone now. And when I talk to anyone whose ideas should be taken and wake up everyday, I smile seriously. And, due to society’s knowing that this is what I have. general discomfort with athe- And that’s complicated, conism, I grow annoyed that people tradicting, terrible, depressing, lump my non-faith in as a belief and amazing. And that’s totally system. (It’s not.) okay with me. People often ask me what I I know that my life and most DO believe in since I’m appar- other lives are on average under ently spending my time holed 1,000 months long and I would up like a troll wherein my only like to spend that time not fuckcomfort is my third cup of ing around. coffee (half true). Others ask what stops me from killing Katey Pants (Catherine Holmyself everyday. Others have lenbeck) is an audiophile, gayasked how I expect to have any theist, tenderoni, nice clothing morals. And others have asked enthusiast, literary aficionado, why I am ripping off other reli- New York Times reader, NPR lisgious traditions like being in tener, taco nomer, freedom fighter, relationships. (Yes, of course, cranky fucker, old fart, and pretty Christianity invented relation- young thang. She lives, loves, ships). fights, works, and naps in PortWith that, it seems impor- land, Ore. She currently makes tant to write about what I do music under the name Roy G believe in. Biv and you can catch her every I believe in nuance. There second Friday of the month at are multiple, contradicting, Bent at the Foggy Notion. By Katey Pants

Two Oregon Bears surround a couple of their crown(ed) jewels during last year’s festivities. By Bennie Tan Oregon Bears

On the second weekend of June (for the last 16 years), our Rose City has been swarmed by a veritable cornucopia of husky and hirsute gay men from all over the world. These men are generally known as “Bears” — and they converge on our city for BearTown, an annual “bear run” planned and organized by members of the Oregon Bears. For the benefit of the clueless few, a brief overview: a Bear is a gay man who is generally bigger in size and who, more often than not, sports some sort of facial hair. A “bear run” is loosely defined as a cross between a convention and a circuit party. My own initial foray into the world of Bears began with a BearTown — in this case BearTown 13: Evolution. Some of you may already know this but I’ve always had a predilection for Bears and Cubs (a younger, usually smaller version of a Bear). Many have asked about my attraction towards hairy and chubby men, but how can one explain one’s proclivities? After all, not everyone is fond of cilantro. In 2008, I decided to take the plunge and join the Oregon Bears after a heart-to-heart chat with then-president Frank Armstrong. I had qualms about becoming a member of a Bear club considering I’m not what one would consider a classic Bear specimen (being a smooth, smaller Asian man) — but Frank assuaged my fears by explaining how the Bear movement came about and what it stands for. In the ‘70s, men who did not fit the gay physical ideal of the day (smooth, lean, and muscular) pqmonthly.com

were often derided, ostracized, and shunned. Around the country, especially in the California Bay Area and New York City, these gay men — who later become known as Bears — banded together to form social clubs that catered to their needs and interests and were free of judgment. Bears didn’t care if they conformed to the gay majority’s ideals or what they thought. It is because of this that Bears have a reputation of being accepting and openminded. Often within this gay subculture, diversity is not just celebrated, but embraced. So with some slight trepidation, I became a card-carrying member of the Oregon Bears — just Bennie Tan in time for BearTown 13. Much to my relief, I was welcomed by this band of merry, furry men and found myself having a gay ol’ time at the event. It was during this BearTown that I earned the moniker Panda (actually it was PandaXpress — but that’s fodder for a different story). Many of you are probably thinking BearTown is just an excuse for a huge hedonistic party, but let me assure you when the Bears throw a shindig they usually party with a purpose. It is often said that from adversity comes strength and a sense of empathy and understanding for others. Since most Bears were victims of discrimination in the past, they tend to be bighearted. Over the years, the Oregon Bears have raised thousands of dollars for local LGBTQ charities. This year’s BearTown is no different. The charity for BearTown 17: Bearpocalypse is Oregon Safe

Photo courtesy of the Oregon Bears

School and Communities Coalition, a nonprofit organization striving to create safe schools and communities for all youth regardless of actual or perceived sexual or gender identity. Personally, I’m really excited about this year’s charity; if only such an organization existed when I was growing up, life would have been much easier. Since the theme for this year’s BearTown is Bearpocalyse (playing off the supposed Mayan end of days this December), the committee is really planning to party like it’s the end of the world. I’ve been to four BearTowns so far but this year’s soiree promises to be bigger than ever — with several new events, including an after-hours party on Saturday night and a fun outing to Multnomah Falls on Sunday. I’m really looking forward to the whole weekend and can’t wait to have a good time with my Bear brethren and raise some money for a good cause. Over the years, I’ve found myself completely accepted by the Oregon Bears. Shortly after attending my first BearTown in 2008, I was roped into helping plan BearTown 14. From there, this Panda got more and more involved, and since 2009 I’ve served as a member-at-large on the club’s board of directors. See, I’m living proof that Pandas really are Bears! To find out more about BearTown 17: Bearpocalypse, visit www. beartownweekend.com. Bennie used to write the column “Panda Say What?!” in Just Out. You can email him at pdxpanda@gmail.com.

May/June 2012 • 21

FEATURES

BECK, BURNS, AND BRIDGETOWN Betting on baring, well, everything

Photos by Xilia Faye, PQ Monthly

For two hours each weeknight, the city’s airwaves belong to Byron Beck (left) and Zak Burns (right) — pictured here in their studio. Daniel Borgen PQ Monthly

On the corner of Fifth and Madison, in the heart of downtown, mere steps from City Hall — in a tower boasting exceptionally good views of prison yard basketball — sit the offices of Alpha Broadcasting, home to several of the city’s most prominent radio stations, from KUPL to KINK to KXL. Walking up the steps, through the glass doors, and waiting to be let upstairs to floors of sprawling offices and cubicles, it’s a bit surreal to realize so much of Portland’s airwave power emanates from one spot. Surreal is amped up as Lars Larson strolls by, and you’re face to face with the voice that so assertively spouts some of the city’s most controversial rhetoric. Because if anyone is “the voice” of KXL, it’s inarguably Lars, the man who delights in tormenting progressives statewide. On KXL’s site, he brandishes a cigar in his photograph, proving beyond any doubt he means Limbaughesque business. Now, in the midst of all that slanted-tothe-right notoriety, there’s a new voice — new to radio, but certainly not to the city: Byron Beck. There are few local names so widely known — some might say notorious. Opinions abound — some strong, others less so, but there’s no denying the former mastermind behind the legendary “Queer Window” (try finding a gay who’s never heard of that column) has, since his stint at Willamette Week ended, morphed almost as many times as Madonna, sans the costume changes. Print, blog, television — and now, radio — there’s little media Byron hasn’t immersed himself in. The Oregonian and Willamette Week routinely cite his blog. Yet, somehow, 22 • May/June 2012

regardless of his media forays, it feels like Byron’s now really hitting his stride. Not that he’s doing it alone — upstairs, in the middle of those floors that house all those offices, radio stations, and big personalities, Byron’s sitting at his desk, hollering over partitions, engaged in a verbal sparring joust with his on-air foil, (the foxy) Zak Burns. The two go back and forth, like speed daters on a mission, as they prep for the night’s show. Zak, a producer with serious national credentials (ask him about the “David Lee Roth experiment” sometime), is part of the mix not only for his considerable logistical talents but, according to KXL, to “keep Byron out of trouble.” Clearly a bit giddy about his new gig (and digs), Byron is quick to offer a tour. We pass cubicles covered in all manner of debris (flyers, folders, merchandise — some piles are unrecognizable), and he’s quick with introductions. Stacey Lynn, as sweet as you imagine, doles out hugs. Clyde Lewis, paranormal phenom, is just as welcoming, sans the embraces — and chats incessantly from beneath the Black Sabbath poster displayed prominently above his desk. There are showers (for the record, Byron’s yet to have need for them), radio dials in the bathrooms, a modestly fancy “convenience store,” and, of course, Diego Giovanni, his assistant — often affectionately dubbed “mini-Byron.” Asked how his now-daily radio gig affects his status as man about town, Byron offered this explanation: “We broadcast from 7 to 9 p.m. every weeknight, so that’s definitely changed my schedule. I tend to go out later and I try not to miss any big events. Sometimes that means I’ll ask my friends, like Diego and Marissa Sullivan, to cover stuff

I can’t make. But you can bet every weekend I’m out covering events with my little camera.” And you can bet half the city — regardless of how many will admit so publicly — still checks said blog to see if their photos made the cut, all while reading about which celebrities have descended upon the Rose City. Chatting, introductions, and official preparations (which begin hours before airtime) stop, and it’s time for Beck and Burns to go on air. Armed with the agenda they’ve hammered out beforehand, red lights go on, and the pert dynamic duo goes live. Subjects, as expected, run the gamut — on this particular night, it’s our city’s mayoral race, gay bullying, and the Octomom. Matt McCormick makes a cameo to talk about his new documentary, “The Great Northwest,” and the Carrie Brownstein-starring “Some Days Are Better Than Others.” Inside the studio, in the background, the last televised mayoral debate is on, and the two hosts, while barely missing a beat with their back-and-forth banter, are clearly distracted. Zak, especially, is exasperated by what he calls Charlie Hales’ “outright lies.” “He’s old, he forgets what he’s said, where he’s lived,” Zak jokes. “He still thinks Adam West is Batman.” Throughout, there are zingers a-plenty — Zak likens the current election cycle to “choosing between two Michael Dukakises and a John Kerry.” (Also, for the record, Zak says he’d love to have Hales on as a guest.) The show takes a serious turn when the subject shifts to bullying — and some fervent sparring begins. Bullying, gay suicide, what’s courageous, what isn’t — exchanges are heated, the two actively disagree, but

when they go to commercial, it’s all mutual love and respect. The show continues, an ideal blend of the comedic and the serious, of politics and celebrity gossip — the stuff of perfect radio. The stuff that makes a two-hour program fly by. A parade of local celebs certainly doesn’t hurt their cause: Hutch Harris, Lance Bangs, and Storm Large have all lent their star power. In all his incarnations, in all his outlets, it’s sometimes hard for passers-by and observers to get a real feel for Byron’s sense of self — the sort of candid evaluation that’s tough for someone routinely in the spotlight. On that, Byron waxed a little nostalgic: “When I was writing ‘Queer Window’ for WW, I was the most hated gay man in Portland.” “And I think it was for good reason,” he adds. “At times, I would spout off my opinion without really thinking about what I was saying. As a blogger and someone working in the new media world, I hope I learned some kind of lesson. With social media outlets — like Twitter and Facebook — available to everyone, I am just one of many voices in the gay community. If people want to hear what I have to say, I’ll share it with them. But I’m just one voice. Yes, I do see my life through a pink filter, but all I’m trying to do is tell my story and share how I see the world around me. And it’s just my story.” Perhaps it’s just his story, but as long as he has a microphone — or camera or website — it’s a pretty safe bet people will continue to listen. Listen to Beck and Burns weeknights from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. on FM News 101, KXL. Find Byron, as always, at www.ByronBeck.com. pqmonthly.com

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ARTS & CULTURE

26 • May/June 2012

pqmonthly.com

CALENDAR

GET OUT! Through May 20

Q-Doc: Portland Queer Documentary Film Festival is the only festival in the U.S. — and only the second in the world — devoted exclusively to queer documentaries. For more information and a full schedule, visit queerdocfest.org.

Saturday, May 19

Da d d i e s a n d Pa p a s — a monthly group for gay, bisexual, and trans men raising young children — allows kids and dads to socialize, enjoy a good meal, and have some fun. 10 a.m.-Noon, Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, For more information, email info@daddiesandpapas.net. Are you ready for some (women’s) football? The Fighting Fillies host the Utah Blitz. 5:00 p.m., Milwaukie High School, 11300 SE 23rd Ave., Milwaukie, $5-10, fightingfillies.com. Portland’s other women’s fullcontact football team, The Portland Shockwave, hosts the Sacramento Sirens. 6 p.m., Hillsboro Stadium, 4450 NW 229th, Hillsboro, $5-10, portlandshockwave.com. Why don’t you take a Gaycation? Think hot, sweaty, queer love on the dance floor (with resident DJs Mr. Charming and Snowtiger) with special guests Roy G Biv and Jeau Breedlove. 9 p.m., Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 21+, $3 cover.

Sunday, May 20

Manifest Men’s Wellness Community Wanderlust Fitness Cycling Group. Explore Portland in this fitness ride for men looking for a moderate workout. 4:30 p.m., Meet at Whole Foods at NE 15th and Fremont, $3-$15 for non-Manifest members, manifestpdx.org. Tranz Guyz, a discussion group for trans guys, intersex, genderqueer, or questioning people who were assigned female at birth, provides an environment that is welcoming and supportive for everyone to discuss issues important to them. 6 p.m.-8 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, For more information, email tranzguys@ gmail.com.

Tuesday, May 22

Want the full scoop? Head over to pqmonthly.com to check out the full calendar of events, submit your own events, and look through photos from parties around town!

Mississippi, For more information, ways to spend a lazy Sunday, email stephanie1225@gmail.com. hair-of-the-dog-style. Resident DJs Hold My Hand, Huf’N’Stuf, Orographic, Pocket Rock-It, and Friday, May 25 The Oregon Bears migrate to guests. 3 p.m. to 9 p.m., Produce Embers for the Double X Dance, Row Café, 204 SE Oak, No Cover. the scruffiest night in town! 9 p.m., 110 NW Broadway, 21+.

Saturday, May 26

55+/- Lesbian Social Group is for mature women who just want to have fun and network. 12:30 p.m.-3:30 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, For more information, email nanb@peoplepc.com. Portland Inferno presents a Clitty Glitter Cupcake Party (their sweet way of saying “eat me”) at the hottest evening party for “seasoned lesbians” on the West Coast! 6 p.m., DIRTY Nightclub, 35 NW 3rd, $8 cover, 21+, infernodances.com QUEEN, Please! Genderf**king Takeover and SALT present “a night of debauchery and nu-disco, music for your soul and the best alternative dance party in town.” This last-Saturdays dance party features Carla Rossi as host — with rotating venues and DJs. This month: DJs Hold My Hand and Huf’N’Stuf (Queerlandia, Bridge Club) at Valentine’s. 9 p.m., 232 SW Ankeny, $3 cover.

Sunday, May 27

Femmes Unite! Meet other queer femmes, talk, eat, organize, relax in the “comfort where we overlap” and find strength in differences. Please bring food you can eat and a bit more to share. 6 p.m.-8 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, pdxqcenter.org.

Saturday, June 2

SugarTown presents a queer soul dance Pride month kick-off party. Shimmy and shake with DJs Beyonda and Action Slacks. 9 p.m., The Spare Room, NE 42nd and Alberta, 21+, $5. Play it Again Maricon, a big, sweaty queer dance night for homos and their homeys. DJs Moisti, Trans Fat, and Ill Camino. 10 p.m., Eagle Portland, 835 N Lombard, 21+, $3. “Summah Time, Hunties.”

The Bi/Pansexual Conversation Group is a time to discuss Sunday, June 3 topics relevent to fluid sexualities, Billed as “Oregon’s T-Dance,” share experiences, and socialize. 7 Bridge Club goes down every first p.m.-8:30 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Sunday — and is one of the nicest pqmonthly.com

pqmonthly.com/calendar

Monday, June 4

Gender Queery is a monthly discussion group for trans, genderqueer, folks outside-thegender-binary, and allies. Meetings have great discussions on an ever-changing topic followed by informal social time. 7 p.m.-8:30 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, pdxqcenter.org. Maniac Mondays! DJ Dougalicious spins your favorite hits as the hottest guys get sweaty on the dance floor. 9 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis, 21+, No cover!

Thursday, June 7

Queer Polyamory Discussion Group. Whether you have been practicing ethical sluttery for years, or are just starting to think about it, you are welcome to join in on the discussion. 6:30 p.m.8:30 p.m., In Other Words, 14 NE Killingsworth, inotherwords.org. Paper Cowgrrls: A Crafting Circle for Women! Plan your next project, pack up your tools and materials, and join others using paper as a base for art and craft. 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, $5 suggested donation, pdxqcenter.org. Official Black Pride Kick-off Party! Hosted by Ya Girl Rissa Riss, with DJ Common Denominator spinning hip hop and R&B all night long. 9:00 p.m. Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK, 21+, no cover!

and community; come to talk, learn, and support. 11:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m., PCC Cascade Campus, 75 N Killingsworth, limited space available, please register by emailing portlandblackpride@gmail.com. The Northwest Gender Alliance Monthly Meeting provides opportunities for members and prospective members to meet and socialize with other transgendered individuals in a protective and supportive environment. 2 p.m.-6 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, For more information, call 503-5338787, nwgenderalliance.org. PDX Bad Girls presents a Safety and Etiquette Workshop and New Member Orientation, open to all self-identified women over 18 who are interested in consensual BDSM with other women. 2 p.m.-7 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, please RSVP to contact@pdxbadgirls.net. Wonder Quest! It’s going to be “Mondo” at the annual benefit for Quest Center, with co-hosts Mondo Guerra and Bryce Black from Project Runway. 6:30 p.m., Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, $75, quest-center.org. Revolution Saturdays! CC’s sets out to prove that the revolution WILL have a beat you can dance to. 9 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis, 21+, No cover!

Sunday, June 10

mingling with your favorite PQreading queers on the best patio in Portland. 5 p.m.-8 p.m., Vendetta, 4306 N Williams, 21+.

Wednesday, June 13

“Gen Silent” screening. This critically-acclaimed documentary asks six LGBT seniors if they will hide their friends, their spouses, their entire lives; in order to survive in the care system. 7:30 p.m., Academy Theater, 7818 SE Stark, $5.

Thursday, June 14

Trans-spiritual Gathering offers the transgender/intersexed/ queer/two-spirit/gender-queer population and allies an opportunity to enter into dialogue investigating the intersection of gender and spiritual journeys. 4 p.m.-7 p.m., In Other Words, 14 NE Killingsworth, inotherwords.org.

Friday, June 15

Gaylabration! Presenting DJ Skiddle, DJ Chris Cox, and DJ Vize in a dance party to benefit Basic Rights Oregon. 9:30 p.m. until sunrise, Leftbank Annex, 101 N Weidler, 21+, $25 pre-sale, $35 door, $100 VIP, gaylabration.org.

Saturday, June 16

Portland Inferno Pride Party! Featuring simmering burlesque performances by Fringe Benefits, Happy Hour Hooptinis, and Burlesquire, along with aerialists, belly dancers, and more! 8 p.m., Refuge, 116 SE Yamhill, 21+, $1115, infernodances.com. Hey Girl Hey! A Pride celebration for all queer people. Featuring performances by Vocah Redu, LA Kendall, Beyondadoubt, Roy G Biv, Mr. Charming, Freddie Says Relax, and Pocket Rock-It, Hey Girl Hey! is an indoor/outdoor party with two stages of amazing queer talent. 9p.m., Plan B, 1305 SE 8th, 21+, $10, heygirlheyqueer. tumblr.com.

Butch Crew PDX social group. Come and join other butches for bonding and conversation. We don’t decide who belongs; you get to decide if this is a good group for you. 3 p.m.-5 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, email ButchCrewPDX@ gmail.com for more information. Families of Color Day Out. Friday, June 8 Portland Black Pride invites you to Dirty Queer x-rated open mic join them for a day in the park with for erotic entertainers of all sorts. If you haven’t experienced it yet, “family.” 2-6:00 p.m., Kenton Park, you have no idea what you’re miss- 8417 N Brandon, for more informaing. 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m., In Other tion, email portlandblackpride@ Words, 14 NE Killingsworth, 18+, gmail.com. Superstar Divas Megashow. $1-$5 suggested donation, dirtyHoney Bea Hart, Bolivia Carmiqueer.com. BENT With your dance floor chaels, and Ginger Lee bring you Wednesday, June 20 hero, Resident DJ Roy G. Biv, and diva realness every Sunday night! Join BRO, API Pride, Black special guests (as always). 9 p.m., 8 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Pride, and Latino Gay Pride at The Foggy Notion, 3416 N Lombard, Davis, 21+, No cover, ccslaugh- Rice, Beans, and Collard Greens, terspdx.com/divas. 21+, $5, facebook.com/bentpdx. a dance party for queer and trans people of color and our friends Thursday, June 14 and families! 8:30 p.m., Crush, Saturday, June 9 PQ’s Pride Press Party! Kick 1001 SE Morrison, All ages, $5 Portland Black Pride Summit. Covering topics like stigma, faith, off Pride weekend by reading the cover (no one turned away for lack newest issue of PQ monthly and of funds). May/June 2012 • 27

FEATURES

LOVE IN EXILE: FIGHTING FOR THE RIGHTS OF BINATIONAL COUPLES band Milton Rosa, Ed.D., tried the work visa approach for 14 years before finally moving to Brazil, where their California marriage certificate is recognized. Though Orey has been lucky — he has found both work and acceptance in his husband’s home country — he is still frustrated by the double standard he faces as a gay citizen. “I have to pay taxes in both countries, yet I do not have the rights in one of them,” Orey says. “I have U.S.-born Daniel Clark Orey and his Brazilian-born husband Milton Rosa find it easier to live in Brazil because the government long had a passion for Latin recognizes their California marriage license. Because of DOMA, Orey can’t sponsor Rosa for a U.S. green card. America, so marrying a Brazilian has allowed me to live here. But it angers me that By Erin Rook unsuccessful in persuading immigraPQ Monthly tion officials to place a hold on green we, and many others, do not have card applications while the consti- the freedom to choose that straight As the marriage equality move- tutionality of DOMA is addressed in married people do.” U.S. citizens in heterosexual relament builds momentum in states the courts and the legislature. The across the nation, many couples are United States Citizenship and Immi- tionships can obtain green cards for stuck in a tragic Shakespearean time gration Services (USCIS) previously their foreign-born spouses with relwarp. Like modern-day Romeos and granted holds to widows and wid- ative ease and a little over $1,000 in Julians, Romitas and Juliets, bina- owers of U.S. citizens whose spouses filing fees. Orey and Rosa, on the tional same-sex couples are struggling died in the midst of their green card other hand, spent more than $30,000 for the right to simply be together. applications while legislation was over the 14 years they resided in the United States together on visa fees “It’s a really exciting time,” says pending. Rachel B. Tiven, executive direc“The government itself has and travel to and from Brazil, since tor of Immigration Equality. “We’re said that [DOMA] is unconstitu- Rosa’s visas had to be renewed in his seeing change very rapidly, but not tional. The Justice Department is home country. “He was interviewed various fast enough for people that need to in agreement with the challenge of keep their family together today.” DOMA. They’ve taken the position times and asked why he was living According to the Williams Insti- that they must continue to enforce with the same person,” Orey says. tute, there are at least 36,000 LGBTQ DOMA,” Tiven says. “We disagree, “Had they found out we were marfamilies directly affected by immi- but respectfully understand why ried, he would have been denied the gration discrimination. For these [the government] can’t grant green visa. It was just too nerve-wracking families, there is currently no relief cards. But at the very least they and expensive to continue like this when [in Brazil] all is well.” in legal marriage because the should put them on hold.” Brazil has been much kinder to Defense Against Marriage Act bars Because gay U.S. citizens cannot recognition of same-sex marriages sponsor their foreign-born spouses Orey, 56, and Rosa, 50. Both men for the purpose of immigration. for green cards, couples are forced are professors in the distance eduto make difficult decisions. Some cation program at the Universidade THE PATH TO COURT spouses are able to obtain student Federal de Ouro Preto, where they or work visas that grant them an share an office. Orey also serves as Immigration Equality, a national extended stay. Other couples travel the Special Assistant to the DirecLGBTQ immigrant rights organi- back and forth between home coun- tor of International Affairs at the zation, is working to change that. tries on tourist visas. If the foreign- UFOP. The university has sponThe group filed a lawsuit April 2 born spouse’s home country rec- sored Orey for a permanent visa – an challenging Section 3 of DOMA on ognizes same-sex marriages, relo- offer he is accepting because gainbehalf of five binational gay and les- cation may be an option. For those ing residency through his husband bian couples representing diverse who cannot qualify for or afford the is more complicated and time-conbackgrounds and immigration sit- fees and travel costs associated with suming. “I am treated and respected as uations. temporary visas or whose home “We’d run out of options in terms countries are no more accepting anyone would [be] — to be honest, of other ways to get green cards for of same-sex couples, they have no probably better than Milton was people who aren’t entitled to them choice but to live under the radar or in the states,” Orey says. “I haven’t really lost anything, other than a based on their marriage to a U.S. be separated indefinitely. few [pounds], and I have gained citizen,” Tiven says. a whole lot. To be able to live and The legal advocacy group decided THE “LUCKY” ONES work in South America as a unito pursue the lawsuit after efforts to find a middle path failed. Despite Grants Pass native Daniel Clark versity professor carries a bit more legal precedent, advocates were Orey, Ph.D., and his Brazil-born hus- respect here than in Sacramento. 28 • May/June 2012

… I guess one would say we are the lucky ones.” TILL DEPORTATION DO US PART? For the less fortunate couples, relief cannot come soon enough, which is why Immigration Equality is pursuing justice for binational couples in the courts and in the legislature, with the Uniting American Families Act. The UAFA is currently attached to other immigration legislation in both the House (with 136 cosponsors) and the Senate (25 cosponsors). None of the current cosponsors are Republican. And while there are a number of Oregon and Washington lawmakers among the cosponsors, the following have yet to sign on to the act: Oregon Reps. Greg Walden (R) and Kurt Schrader (D) and Washington Reps. Jaime Herrera Beutler (R), Doc Hastings (R), Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R), Norman D. Dicks (D), and David G. Reichart (R). Although a number of other cases are currently challenging DOMA (and being defended by counsel hired by the House Bipartisan Legal Advisor Group), Tiven says the Immigration Equality suit is needed because victories in the other cases may not be comprehensive enough to cover immigration issues. Still, with every legal or legislative victory, Immigration Equality will return to USCIS to make the case for granting holds while DOMA’s constitutionality is in question. “What’s particularly important about immigration issues is that people can’t wait. If you’re up against a deadline, saying it will be better in a year doesn’t necessarily help your family and you could be really stuck,” Tiven says. “It’s not to say that there aren’t many urgent consequences to discrimination against LGBT families. But if your visa is running out tomorrow, do you leave your partner and children or stay out of status? Does a U.S. citizen abandon their country? How does someone make the choice between aging or sick parents for whom they are the primary caretaker and their partner? Our job is to push for relief as quickly as possible and we do that any time there’s an opening.” Learn more about LGBTQ immigration issues, the case against DOMA, and the UAFA by visiting immigrationequality.org.

faith Continued from page 18

an “Eckist”] and started finding out about the Religion of the Light and Sound of God, I found that the experiences that I had already experienced on the Inner Planes back in the 1970s really backed up what this organization was about. As for the person leading the organization, the first time I saw Sri Harold [Klemp, the current leader of Eckankar whom Eckists call “the Mahanta” or “the Living Eck Master”] I just knew it was him — he was my spiritual leader. It was Divine Spirit guiding me! However, it took another three years before I became a member. ... I practiced for a few years before I decided to come out as a lesbian in Eckankar in 1987; I felt I was strong enough as a member that I could handle the reaction, because I knew there would be a reaction. People come from all different backgrounds, and all different faiths, and some of them were very rigid — in 1987, that wasn’t unusual. Some of the Eckists were very calm, some were very friendly that I was being up-front with everyone, some were definitely not calm or friendly! I received some threats, both secondhand and direct; a few of the guys talked about what they might do to me to harm me. I mostly stayed away for about two years, but I still went to the community HU song [a congregational singing of the sound “Hyoo”] because I like that HU is a name of God that hasn’t been abused as much as the others. I also kept up with my daily spiritual exercises and my own connection to the Holy Spirit. When I decided to go back to the organization, I found that, lo and behold, the people who had treated me poorly weren’t there anymore! However, I had already adjusted myself to understand that they were on their own spiritual unfolding — and I saw that some of them came around to understanding that it didn’t matter what your sexual orientation was, or your political orientation, or anything. You are Soul, not any distinct category beyond this one lifetime. We’re all just Souls on our spiritual paths. pqmonthly.com

TRAVEL

The Lady Chronicles On airing (and erring) dirty laundry By Daniel Borgen PQ Monthly

Three weeks ago, before my annual birthday dinner, I received a handwritten letter from a former flame. It was tucked inside a book left on the dark wooden table in my apartment building’s entryway — a spot that serves as resting place for all manner of peculiar artifacts (mystery loaves of bread, accompanying decorative napkin arrangements, “free” things laying unclaimed for weeks). At first sight, I thought it another in a long list of odd appearances. The book had a 3x5 notecard — with my name written in Sharpie — taped to its cover. When I picked up the book to investigate, the letter fell out. The correspondence that came with The Book the Boy Left was a detailed list of grievances — a line-by-line indictment of all the ways I fucked up the last couple of months. I can’t even begin to call his claims unwarranted; nothing he wrote was untrue. I said those things, I did those things. You see, when The One with the Expiration Date (see: 3/15/2012) went the way of conflict, I did what I do best — I bailed. So there I stood, on my red-letter day, staring down the demons I thought I’d dodged. It was all very “The Notebook,” only without the Gosling and that big romantic finale. Just before my momentous weekend, an expatriate friend of mine — who fled Portland for Palm Springs — returned for a brief sojourn. His big night was held at the Jolly Roger in John’s Landing, a neighborhood to which I rarely venture. As the evening wore on, a few of us crowded around a small table, where conversation veered from my ongoing relationship ineptitude to appropriate gender pronouns to our city’s yearly Pride parade. That last bit got particularly heated when a friend casually mentioned our “overly sexualized” festivities. It was like the music stopped. Overly sexualized? Do we live in the same city? When pressed for explanations, my friends gave them — a list of complaints about overt sexuality (mimicking sex acts) and pleas for something more familyfriendly (The Eagle’s float was cited early and often). Shocked, I realized the same parade I routinely chastise for being too tame, too boring, too “family-friendly” was, to someone else, wildly inappropriate. Now isn’t the time or place to wade through the history and purpose of Pride parades — needless to say, I was exasperated, they were

exasperated, and we found little common ground. Left up to me, homos could leave all their bits and sexual positions hanging out for the world to see. Our Sunday in June isn’t meant to placate anyone; it’s a moment to express ourselves and our startling diversity however we see fit. And no, expression isn’t flaunting — flaunting is what the world around us does with every media outlet at its disposal: commercials, TV shows, magazines. Anyway, I digress. The point: we were a thousand miles apart, no one budged, but we managed to muster a civil conclusion. There’s something an ex can include in a letter: I’m better at mending fences than I used to be. It’s not like we’re strangers to disagreement. Take Mars Hill — the euphemismtoting, “We don’t hate gays we just think you’re sinning” Hill people were in the news again, this time because some people decided to break the church’s windows in the middle of the night — this in the midst of Q Center’s ongoing, well-intentioned talks with them. There’s no point in rehashing the merits of the vandals’ actions (which, for the record, I do not condone), nor need we re-address whether or not Q should be meeting face to face with a handful of bigots in Southeast Portland (I’ve remained firmly in the “should not” camp) — or if we should help a very rich, very conservative church sweep up broken glass (my vote: no). The saddest part of this whole ordeal isn’t work upended or shattered stained glass — it’s the unfortunate ways we fundamentally misunderstood each other in the aftermath. I’m not suggesting we forgo expressing opinions or separating ourselves from “violent” acts — whatever your pleasure. I think it’s incredibly productive to discuss what happened, why it happened, and how we should conduct ourselves in the face of institutionalized bigotry. Outright dismissiveness and hurling nastiness — less so. In the end, I guess I just care much more about what our queer community thinks — every single part of it — than about some damn church with its own agenda. And I think our march to equality can bypass and exclude the extreme, religious right. (Hint: it already has.) But, certain things remain inevitable: I’ll go on fumbling through relationships, Q’s work will continue (hopefully making life less horrible for at least one gay kid trapped in that evangelical hellhole), and we’ll all live to disagree another day. Here’s hoping we start trending a little closer to civility.

That whole letter scenario prompted me to forge a marriage pact with a longtime, platonic friend. Formerly Lady about Town, Daniel now crafts TLC for your monthly reading (dis)pleasure. He can be reached at Daniel@PQMonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

SATURDAY IN THE PARK

The SW Washington GLBT community invites you to experience the 18th annual Saturday in the Park celebration “Gateway to equality” the weekend of July 14th. Saturday in the Park provides a family friendly venue for the safe and open expression of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. We encourage all community members to gather, celebrate, acknowledge, and embrace the importance and value of their efforts, achievements, experiences, and life.

Events: Saturday, July 7, 2012 Vancouver Gay Pride Pageant, Join us at the Vancouver F.O.E. at 107 E. 7th Street, Vancouver, WA. Door 6 PM/Show 7PM No cover charge although donations are welcome! Saturday, July 14, 2012 Lyles Myles Charity Walk and Run Esther Short Park, Registration at 8:30 am 5 K walk at 9:15 am - 5 K run at 9:45 am Trophies and Raffle at 10:30 am

Saturday in the Park at Esther Short Park, W Columbia Ave and W 8th St Vancouver, WAAll are welcome! Opening Ceremonies 11:00 am - Live music and events from 11:30 am - 5:00 pmLive Performances by Local Entertainers: The 2012-2013 Gay Vancouver Pageant; Blush and Bashful; A Cotton Candy Affair To be held at Fraternal Order of the Eagles Lodge # 2158 - 107 E. 7th Street Door: 5:00 PM Show 6:00 PM Tickets are $15 at the door or $12 if you purchase them from one of the candidates for Mr., Ms., or Miss Gay Vancouver at Saturday in The Park.

For more information, please visit our website at www.sitppride.info May/June 2012 • 29

FEATURES

THIS THING I CALL ‘GUIDANCE’ Spiritual teacher Emily Carson on queerness, oppression, and identity

Photo by Xilia Faye, PQ Monthly

“[The Guidance] says what he wants to say to me,” explains Emily Carson,“and I say it to other people. I’m just a secretary for this very wise guy.” By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

At first glance, Emily Carson seems like a common Portland woman. She certainly doesn’t fit the popular perception of an enlightened spiritual teacher, and for good reason — she, by her own

admission, is not enlightened. However, Carson’s life took a fascinating turn when she began to receive messages from an enlightened being that she calls “Guidance.” Now, nearly a decade later, Carson regularly transmits the Guidance’s messages to packed audiences in several states, leaving many marveling at the wise,

incisive, and at times confrontational messages from the entity. PQ sat down with Carson to talk about her work and to seek the Guidance’s, well, guidance on the challenges of queer identity and community. PQ Monthly: First off, can you tell me a little about you, and how this came about? Emily Carson: I got started doing this accidentally, actually. I started doing some personal, internal work. … In the process of that, I was introduced to the concept of “guidance,” which in the work that these people do is really just something that everyone has access to — something that is still a principle that I use. It’s something that a person can use to know what’s true, and oftentimes really discern what to do when your own fear-based thinking is not going to give you the right answers. … In 2003, I lost my job, and I also I started to get these longer dictations from my guidance — usually you get a couple sentences, and I started getting these paragraphs about things. … Over time, it became clear that this thing that I called Guidance was an entity in another place; he’s elsewhere, and while he doesn’t have a body he has some

kind of a form. He’s not visible to everybody, so he says what he wants to say to me, and I say it to other people. I’m just a secretary for this very wise guy! [Laughs] I didn’t really know any of that, though — it came down to sitting on a couch, in front of people, not knowing what I was going to say, just listening and saying what I heard. PQ: [Asking the Guidance] So, tell us about being queer. EC: Just to preface it, the Guidance likes to do a back-and-forth, so I’ll probably ask you questions — those are just the questions I’m receiving to ask you. PQ: Absolutely. Guidance: Why does it matter to you that you’re queer? What difference does it make to you? PQ: It’s hard for me to speak for the community, but I know that for some queer people, they face so much oppression, and have to go through so much to identify with that truth within themselves. Their identity is so hard-won that it becomes precious to them. Guidance: … It really matters that you are queer and that you identify with that for as long as it takes for you to feel like guidance page 39

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ently every few weeks. Lately, I’ve been thinking about the third category of transwomen. Well, I guess it’s the second category of trans, or the third and fourth categories of transmen and transwomen, or transwomen and transmen, or, well, you get the picture. I didn’t see myself as transitioning to being a transperson when I started; I saw myself as transitioning to being a woman. I still see myself as becoming a woman, but a different kind of woman. A few months ago, I didn’t identify as a woman at all, and I called myself genderqueer or androgynous. Transitioning has put me onto pretty uncharted ground, which I never sought out for myself, but here I am. When I look ahead, it’s hard to know what I’ll want, or what I won’t. Those things seem to change day to day. One desire that doesn’t change, though, is the desire to transition; it’s still there. As I transition, I reflect on my experiences, and come up with words for them: genderqueer, transwoman, etc. They mean more to me than labels would, because they’re signposts that let me know where I am on my journey. My journey must be pretty winding, though, because I seem to be all over the place. Some days I don’t care how I’m perceived, and other days it’s all that matters. As I write this, I feel like it’s one uninterrupted cliché, and trite words like “pretty” feel like sore thumbs. I like feeling pretty, though, so I guess I’ll leave them. I want to delete the whole thing, though, like I want to delete my transition sometimes, or, rather, jump to the finish, and not look at the imperfections. What does someone calling me “sir” have to do with this, I wonder? I don’t know. I’m not sure how any of it connects sometimes. I assumed my transition would be a straight journey from manhood to womanhood. The fact that I’d never considered myself male, or female, perhaps should have prepared me for that not occurring, but it didn’t. I always liked stories that brought everything around in the end, and wrapped up all themes. I’m getting over that.

Leela Ginelle is a writer, and a transwoman, maybe, depending on when you ask her, or ze, or, well, you know. She’s the author of the e-book “Game Night: A Role-Play Novel,” and suggests you find it online and buy it immediately. pqmonthly.com

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I’m a transwoman. It’s not the largest category of people. For one thing, you have to self-select, or self-identify, to join, which not many people do. For another, once you’re in, not many people know that you are. If I’m in a store or a restaurant or an office, people routinely refer to me as “sir,” or “he,” or “him.” This upsets me, but I generally don’t correct them, because I feel embarrassed. There are a lot of reasons for this. I feel bad pointing out other people’s mistakes, especially in crowded places. Also, I tend to personalize their errors, thinking I must have done something particularly masculine, and thus confused them. Really, though, I imagine they aren’t sure where to place me, and they default to what seems to them like the most plausible answer — in this case, male. What makes this confusing for me is that I’m legally female, dress in women’s clothes, have longish hair, and wear makeup. So I stand there wondering what further cues I could give, short of saying, “I’m female, please stop calling me ‘sir.’” Come to think of it, saying that might be the only cue I need. It doesn’t seem like an easy one to give, though. Not many people need to offer verbal cues regarding their gender. Gender is something we all figure out about each other subconsciously, except when we don’t, which seems to happen to me all the time. I’ve spent the last few months hoping I looked enough like a cis-woman to be taken for one. A cis-woman, in case you don’t know, is a biological woman, as opposed to a transwoman. It’s an easy explanation, and one most cis-women do not have to give to anyone. A transwoman, on the other hand … well, I guess that’s what we’re discussing here. I don’t know what transwomen do about much of anything. I’ve only been one for a little while. A lot of what I know I’ve learned from reading books, or going to meetings with other transwomen. It doesn’t seem like there’s much social protocol for us around anything, because there are so few of us, and we’re relatively new. I know how I would like things to be, and that’s easy. I’d like everyone to regard me the way I regard myself, which would be difficult, since I regard myself differ-

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PERSPECTIVES

equality ride Continued from page

states that the only applicable definition of marriage is between a man and a woman, and only sexual contact within that marriage is biblically sanctioned. “ [ We ] w e re a b l e t o meet with the students a n d a d m i n i s t ra t o r s t o draw attention to the policies there and explore why their policies are harmful to LGBTQ people,” Mason says. In addition, the Equality Ride team also stopped at SMYRC, the Metropolitan Community Church, Central Lutheran Church, Lincoln High School, and Portland State University to host events such as activism trainings, educational sessions, meet-and-greet dialogues, and even a “storysharing” suicide prevention presentation. As part of their commitment to making a positive impact upon the community at large, the Equality Ride participants also did a service project with local nonprofit Growing Gardens, installing gardens in areas of Portland where fresh produce can be hard to come by. It’s been a long journey for the Equality Ride participants — and Soulforce recognizes that the road to justice is even broader than simply winning equal rights for queer people. “What we [as an organization] are mindful of is what we term ‘intersectional justice,’” participant Chelsea Fullerton says. “Justice is not about just one cause, or one group of people. Justice is about facing every single kind of oppression, be it racism, classism, heterosexism, what have you. … We recognize that no two forms of oppression are distinct. If we are freed as LGBTQ people from heterosexism, racism is still a reality within our community. Classism is still a reality within our community. We can’t be overly focused. We have to acknowledge that all forms of oppression impact us all.” For more information about Soulforce and the 2012 Equality Ride, check out www.equalityride.com. pqmonthly.com

WHISKEY & SYMPATHY

Dear Sophia and Gula,

I, like seemingly every other gay man in the city, am a bottom. I used to do the usual ruse of telling people, “Oh, I’m versatile!” But I’ve recently come to grips with the fact that I just don’t get into being a top. However, since I’ve started identifying myself as such, I find that the reactions I get from dudes are really weird. More guys reject me outright (probably because they’re bottoms too, I suspect), and I’ve even had people tell me that being a bottom is “an ugly, selfish thing” that stems from my being fucked up or immature. Why do people hate on bottoms? When it comes down to brass tacks I think we bottoms are probably the majority of the city’s gay population. Why are so few dudes willing to just own it rather than pulling a ruse of being versatile?

Big Ol’ Bottom in Buckman

Sophia St. James

Gula Delgatto

Dear Big Ol’ Bottom in Buckman,

Dear Big Ol’ Bottom,

Oh, darlin’. I am here to tell you that you are not selfish in any way. Being a bottom takes the strength to trust your top and to give yourself to them. Being a switch (enjoying giving and receiving) myself, I can understand the joys of receiving. There is something “freeing” about being able to just take it. Not to mention you are in control, more so as a bottom. You have the power to say the safe word or to stop play at any point and time. Though there are many bottoms in the city, I have a feeling there are just as many tops too. I think it really depends on where you are at and who you are attracted to more. If you find yourself approaching men and they state they are primarily bottoms, maybe you can think why you seem to be more attracted to other bottoms. I’d like to also say you are far from being immature just for being a bottom. I personally think it’s a very mature thing to know what you want and how you want it. To be able to have the ability for self care, self awareness, and self assertiveness is one of the most mature things I can think of. As humans, we have the innate desire to want to fit in or be pleasing. If being versatile and/or a switch is what most in the community seem to want, then I find most tend to try and fit into that box. It can and usually does lead to resentment of your partner or less of a desire to be intimate since you aren’t being true to your own wants and needs. Just know you are doing the right thing by being able to stay true to you. I think many don’t understand what it means to be a top or a bottom. It’s not something you necessarily choose. It’s something you desire. Just as you don’t choose to be gay, you can’t choose to be a top or bottom. If you feel you’re being “hated” on just because you are being yourself, screw ‘em! You can’t please everyone at all times. You can only be true to you and what makes you happy. And if receiving makes you happy, then by all means take it all in!

In this great big world of ours, there are many cultures that have tops who are “not gay,” and the men who bottom for them usually have been assigned some sort of derogatory slang term for the supposedly “un-masculine” act of bottoming. The Greeks have been doing it since man started making pottery. I know, because I have a few sexy scenarios on them. For some reason, there is a serious stigma surrounding being a bottom. Could it be from the stereotypes formed in our subcultures? If you’re a top, you’re associated with the masculinity factor — which still makes you feel like a man. You insert your penis into things, just the way a dominant masculine man should. Or so it’s said simply in story books. Gay men struggle sometimes in the coming out process, juggling comfort level with masculinity and gender norms, only to do the same thing again when discovering whether we are pitchers or catchers (or maybe both?) in the proverbial bedroom. (Or wherever they …) I asked a few bottom friends how they felt, and this is what I got: • I get stage fright when I’m asked to top. • I’ve been with some really good tops, and I don’t think I can deliver. • It’s easier (lazy bottom). • I just love it (hungry bottom). • I will top …when I’m drunk (messy bottom turned top). • I like to saddle up and ride it (bossy/power bottom). If someone said “being a bottom is an ‘ugly, ‘selfish thing’ that stems from my being fucked up or immature” to me, I would cut them. That Bitter Betty sounds like they need a little something shoved up their butt! It might give them the necessary attitude adjustment. Depending where you “end up” in a relationship or some casual pow-bowing around town, do me a favor and every now and again — just every once in a while — try the top thing. Give someone the pleasure you like and crave so much. Spice up your sex life! But really, there’s no shame in your game, Hunty (just make sure you’re always “ready”). We DO have two ways to orgasm — the normal penile ejaculation or the slow hand moving down, caressing your back as he bends you over that cold, black leather couch — you feel the burn of the white heat (of desire) penetrating your body, your toes curl, you arch your back … When you have that uncontrollable body-shaking orgasm that comes from deep within, your prostrate is being rocked. Every “man” should try it. Purge the shame, Hunty.

-Sophia St. James

-Gula Delgatto

Need some advice from Sophia and Gula? Send your query — with “Whiskey & Sympathy” in the subject line — to info@pqmonthly.com Sophia St. James has been an erotic entertainer since 1996. She has traveled performing and educating the public on self confidence, self worth, and the art of sensuality no matter their outer appearance. Working as a sex and sensuality educator, sex toy/product reviewer, adult film director/producer, model, and erotic visual performer, Sophia is a well rounded woman with drive and determination. Sophia is also a mother and healthcare professional who takes pride in being a body positive and sex positive fierce femme.

Gula Delgatto’s life began in a small rural farming town in Romaina. She was scouted singing in a rocky field picking potatoes by a producer of a “Mickey Mouse Club” type ensemble. While touring the Americas the group fell apart due to jealousies and drugs. She later transitioned from Vaudeville to starring on the big screen to woman’s prison, and eventually advised the Dali Lama on fashion n-stuff. Currently she’s taking her life knowledge and giving back in an advice column for PQ. May/June 2012 • 33

PERSPECTIVES

RAIN CITY Rocks against car windows By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

11:30 Sunday night — the lit-up windows of Plaid Pantry beckon Matt in from the rainy night. He walks into the florescent light, scans his eyes over bright candy wrappers, the grim faces on the cover of Busted Magazine. “Camel filters, please,” he tells the clerk, vodka on his breath. “$5.25,” the young woman behind the counter says flatly, the rainbow beads of her Pride necklace peeking out beneath her uniform’s collar. Matt sets dollar bills and quarters onto the counter as she slides the cigarettes towards him. “Sir?” a man beside him says. Matt looks up at the clerk as she rolls her eyes, and turns towards the source of the voice. The man before him is perhaps 23, his blonde hair soaked, holding an unfolded wire hanger in his hand. “I’m so sorry to ask, but I’m …” “Stop soliciting customers, dude!” the lesbian behind the counter snaps bitterly. Matt ignores her, keeps listening. “… locked out of my car. My keys and coat are in there, I’ve been standing in the rain for an hour ...” Matt looks him up and down with the boldness of a drunk queer on a bad night. “What kind of truck is it?” “A Toyota 4-Runner.” Matt squints in thought. “Want me to help you get in?” “Oh my god! Yes!” the soaked man exclaims. “OK, then, let’s go.” Twenty minutes later, Matt tries to hide that he has no idea what he is doing. Having given his coat to Jay, his white t-shirt has become transparent with rain, sticking against his back as he jimmies the hanger down through the brown car door. “Oh man, I can’t even tell you how glad I am to have you here,” Jay says. He is young, straight, broke, a little stoned, oddly trustworthy. He reminds Matt of the good-natured farm boys of his hometown. “Honestly,” Matt says between grunts of frustrated exertion, “it’s all part of a really weird evening.” “What did you do?” “You really want to know?” “Hit me.” “Got hit on by a dude older than my dad, then went on a ‘holy shit clear my head’ bike ride that ended up at my ex-boyfriend’s house where I drank his vodka and contended with how crazy my life has become.” “Whoa.”

“Yeah.” Matt feels the wire catch on something in the doorframe, yanks it up — no luck. “Sorry to ask what might be a stupid question,” Jay says, “but is that what being gay is like?” Matt stops for a moment. “I … I don’t really know how to answer that.” “It sounds kind of hard.” Matt pulls up the back of his blue 501’s, then slides the wire back into the doorframe. “It really is sometimes. I reckon not too much harder than straight people’s lives, though.” “Maybe you’re right,” Jay responds. “When it really comes down to it,” Matt says, “I don’t think we’re all that different. It’s the same ol’ shit, all of our lives, whether we like dudes or chicks.” Jay is quiet, his hands in Matt’s coat pockets. “You know what?” he says, breaking his reverie, “I should just break the window and get in.” “You sure you want to do that?” Matt asks, seeing Jay pick up a huge rock from the ground. “I’ll just go to Pick & Pull and get one tomorrow. It’s cheaper than a locksmith, and fuck, I don’t want to keep you out here in the rain this long.” He hands the stone to Matt. “Want to do the honors?” Matt looks at the baseball-sized rock in his hand, back up at Jay — the rain drips off his brown beard. “Are you totally sure?” Jay throws his hands up in the air, covers his eyes. “Just do it, man. I got to get home.” Matt turns toward the rear passenger-side window, holds the rock in a fastball grip. In his mind’s eye, he sees the pieces of his day come together: the older man, his ex-boyfriend, the Plaid Pantry clerk, the weird state of his life, Jay and his 4-Runner. Sometimes we come together like this, Matt thinks, connecting with strange intensity like rocks against car windows. Sometimes everything we thought we knew had to shatter to let us in to the rest of our lives. Sometimes life pulls the rug out from beneath him, smacks him in the face with its awesome surrealism, leaves him with no choice but to inwardly say yes, yes, I shall have some of that, I shall give you some of that, I will give you everything I have, so swing batter batter, swing batter batter … Swing! The window collapses into tiny beads of glass, spilling onto SE 13th Avenue. Matt and Jay both exhale hard, the wind knocked out of them by the shock of the job being done. They turn towards each other — “Thank you,” Jay says, his voice breaking. “Just, thank … ,” he throws his arms around Matt, buries his face in Matt’s wet chest, shaking with stunned, grateful sobs. Matt holds him, the rain running off his head onto Jay’s, tears joining it. “When it comes down to it,” Matt says softly, “we’re all the same. Life’s weird, really weird sometimes, but still, all we really have is each other.” The two men stand amongst the broken glass, the rain beating down as, all around them, the strange and marvelous city slips into midnight.

Nick Mattos can be reached at nick@pqmonthly.com. 34 • May/June 2012

god and gays: “We do not know why, but we do know that sexual diversity is entirely natural, healthy, and reflective of the unknowable will of the Divine.” Continued from page 19

noting modern science reveals hundreds of animal species with homosexual pairings as a regular part of the “natural” mixture in God’s plan. IDOLATRY WAS THE SIN, NOT HOMOSEXUALITY Deuteronomy 23:18 and I Kings 14:24 tell of the Canaanites’ “gedeshim,” sacred prostitutes, both male and female, who enacted roles of god and goddesses in ecstatic, sexual rituals. This is another case of the Bible forbidding idolatry, said Michaelson, who found “toeveh” mentioned in several other books. “Homosexuality is not a lifestyle,” Michaelson said in his chapter about not bearing false witness, including lying to others just to be safe. He called the closet “a death style.” “Coming out is a religious act,” he added — a revelation, a struggle, with a surrender and renewal, similar to the process of “being born again” or having a “religious conversion.” “I refuse to cede my spiritual heritage to those who do not even know of what they speak,” he wrote. “The pretenders to religious certainty do not know the geography of my soul. Our religious mandates for compassion and truthfulness require us to base decisions not on stereotypes but on reality. “We do not know why, but we do know that sexual diversity is entirely natural, healthy, and reflective of the unknowable will of the Divine.” The biblical quotes which right wingers use to bash gays are what Michaelson calls “clobber texts.” While some are motivated by hate, the vast majority of religious people don’t k now what to do w ith this incorrect information they have grown up with. They are in a quandary. “What do you do about these ‘clobber texts’ and negative chatter?” asked Michaelson. “To tell people to ‘just get over it’ isn’t understanding and doesn’t move the discussion forward.” Michaelson urged his listeners to be aware of their internal values and be willing to give testimony to those values. This doesn’t mean we incessantly argue and debate with our detractors, but we talk of love and understanding, and share that love is a universal thing with no limits in the Mind of God. Michaelson said taboos against homosex ua lit y a nd cross dressing had nothing to do with spirituality, but were “culturally-related

taboos” not supported by biblical reference. “We are up against a fear, not wild hatred.” Noting that there are always people filled with hate, he said, “If they believe that, they are less likely to cross the divide.” Rather than seeing ourselves fighting those who hate, Michaelson said we should be using our energy getting into discussions about mutual positive values with those in the “movable middle.” “We just need to get them to move a little. Our first goal is to get them to stop marginalizing people. We have to remember what is at stake: our validity in the world. “I’m not concerned about a dialogue with people who play the chess game to see who is most powerful, but I want to reach the people who are listening to them.” DIALOGUE WITH COMPASSION Aud ience member Rob L owe wanted to know “how to speak to t hat person w it h compa ssion,” noting they are in a vulnerable position. Michaelson responded that many Christians who have been taught supposedly anti-gay quotes from Corinthians and Romans really want to do the right thing. He says these people are in crisis and now they need another way to deal with people who are LGBTQ. Rather than arguing and feeling a sense of opposition, he said, “We need to be queer positive. You can’t oppress the other if you see yourself as the other.” Debra Kolodny, rabbi at Portland’s Jewish Renewal congregation Pnai Or, called Michaelson’s ideas of compassion and open conversation “impressive.” “The process is meaningful — understanding the love of human beings, the love of God,” Michaelson told PQ Monthly. “If more people can have more love in their lives, I’ve done my job.” He called for a religious conversation, “not to win arguments, but to speak heart to heart with the millions of Americans who are not bigots or homophobes, but who are sincerely troubled by equality for gay people.” Jay Michaelson is founding director of Nehirim: GLBT Jewish Culture and Spirituality, a nonprofit organization which builds community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Jews, partners, and allies. His website is www.jaymichaelson.net/. pqmonthly.com

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May/June 2012 • 35

PRIDE

PRIDE ROUNDUP, PART I By Erin Rook PQ Monthly

Pride season is just around the corner, so you’d better start marking your calendar. Following is a listing of “official” Pride events in Oregon and SW Washington in June and July. We’ll have an exhaustive listing of Portland Pride events in the June/July issue of PQ (coming out June 14) and will bring you details on the second half of Pride season (Lincoln City, Eugene, and Southern Oregon) in July/August. In the meantime, save these dates. BEND PRIDE: June 9 Humandignitycoalition.org 8th Annual Bend Pride Celebration Saturday, June 9, noon-6 p.m. RiverBend Park 799 SW Columbia St. A one-day celebration featuring booths

from local non-profits and business, music and dancing, and local food vendors. PORTLAND PRIDE: June 10-17 “Beautiful People” Pridenw.org Beautiful Families Pride Family Celebration Sunday, June 10, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. In Other Words Feminist Community Center 14 NE Killingsworth St. A family-friendly event for the youngsters featuring magicians, clowns, food, and more. Free; donations accepted. All ages. “Gen Silent” – A Special Screening Wednesday, June 13, 7:30 p.m.-9 p.m. The Academy Theater 7818 SE Stark St. A special screening, in conjunction with United Way – Columbia Willamette and AARP Oregon, of the critically-acclaimed documentary about aging in the LGBTQ community. $5; tickets available via pridenw.org. All ages. Pride Comedy Showcase Thursday, June 14, 7 p.m.-9 p.m. The Star Theatre 13 NW 6th Ave. A night of laughs from Belinda Carroll Comedy featuring Sandra Valls, including special guest Xander Deveaux, and hosted

by Whitney Streed. $20 advance, $25 door, $30 advance VIP (includes glass of Hip Chicks wine). 21+. Pulse! Dance Party Friday, June 15, 6 p.m.-10 p.m. Tom McCall Waterfront Park SW Naito Parkway and SW Pine St. A waterfront dance party featuring DJ Tony Moran, a Grammy-nominated producer and remixer for artists including Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Madonna, Beyoncé, Britney Spears, Rihanna, Mary J Blige, Janet Jackson, and Jennifer Lopez. $7 suggested donation. All ages. Gaylabration Friday, June 15, 9:30 pm-4:30 a.m. Leftbank Annex 101 N. Weidler St. An all-night dance party featuring DJ Skiddle, DJ Chris Cox, and DJ Vize and benefiting Basic Rights Oregon. $25 advance, $30 door, $100 VIP. 21+. Waterfront Festival Saturday, June 16, and Sunday, June 17, noon-6 p.m. Waterfront Park SW Pine St. and the Morrison Bridge A two-day festival featuring national and local entertainers, community organizations, vendors, food, and drink. Headlining acts include Nina Sky, Kim English, Colton Ford, and Bobby Jo Valentine. $7 suggested donation, $50 VIP (includes three-day pass, special entrance, commemorative Nike T-shirt, two drink tickets) available online until June 8; VIP purchased before June 2 includes pass to private backstage party. All ages. Portland Gay Men’s Chorus Summer of Love Concert Saturday, June 16, 7:30 p.m. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall 1037 Southwest Broadway A throwback to the 1967 “Summer of Love,” featuring songs from the Beatles’ album “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.” $16-$42; tickets available online, at the PCPA Box Office, and Ticketmaster. All ages. Hot Flash: Inferno Official Pride Dance Party Saturday, June 16, 8 p.m.-4 a.m. The Refuge 116 SE Yamhill St.

$11 online, $15 door. 21+. A women’s dance party for the forever-29 set featuring DJs Wildfire and D-Zel and a host of go-go dancers. Includes a Pride Artists’ Gallery from 8 p.m. to midnight. 42nd Annual Portland Pride Parade Sunday, June 17, 11:30 a.m. Steps off at 13th and West Burnside and ends at Waterfront Park. A parade of community organizations, politicians, local business, affirming congregations, and more, led by the Dykes on Bikes. Free and all ages. VANCOUVER PRIDE: July 13-14 Sitppride.info gayvancouverwa.org Friends and Family BBQ Friday, July 13, 6 p.m. The DuPont House (Contact Shelia Dupont or one of the reigning Gay Vancouver’s for the address) $5 suggested donation. All ages. Lyles Myles July 14, 8:30 a.m. registration Esther Short Park W Columbia Ave. and W 8th St. $2 for dogs, whatever you can raise in pledges for humans. All ages. Lyles Myles 2012 includes a 5K walk (9:15 a.m.), a 5K run (9:45 a.m.), a trophy ceremony (10:30 a.m.), and raffle. Proceeds will support Martha’s Pantry, Global Partners, and Cascade AIDS Project. Saturday in the Park July 14, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Esther Short Park W Columbia Ave. and W 8th St. Free and all ages. A gay day in the park featuring live music, performances, and other events. The 2012-2013 Gay Vancouver Pageant: Blush and Bashful, A Cotton Candy Affair Saturday, July 14, 5 p.m. Fraternal Order of the Eagles Lodge # 2158 107 E. 7th St. $12 from a candidate, $15 door. All ages. Celebration Brunch Sunday, July 15, 10 a.m.-noon. Fraternal Order of the Eagles Lodge # 2158 107 E. 7th St. $5 suggested donation. All ages.

PQ Monthly will publish a week early in June for Pride. Watch for it on June 14 and contact us for advertising opportunities.

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Local artist and Q Center Communications Director Paul Francis Fukui is showing a collection of work called “The Jewels” at Cock Gallery through May 31. Fukui’s largescale words in acrylic and leaf on panel feature jewels as a metaphor for burden carried by those who live differently.Cock Gallery is open first Thursday, Saturdays from noon to 4 p.m., and by appointment. ADX hosts the May edition of Destination DIY: a project night, listening party, and radio show airing on OPB radio. In cooperation with SCRAP, Destination DIY is essentially a crafting party with free beer, cider, and pizza. This month’s event, on May 23 from 7 to 9 p.m., will also feature DJ Hambone.

ers giving their younger selves words of encouragement. In addition to Sickels, the anthology includes Michael Cunningham, Amy Bloom, Jacqueline Woodson, Gregory Maguire, David Levithan, and Armistead Maupin. Check it out on Facebook or at your local bookstore. Q Doc returns May 17-20, opening with a 7 p.m. screening of “Wish Me Away,” a documentary about out country singer Chely Wright. The opening night party follows at 9:30 p.m. at an as-yet-unnamed event space located at 1207 SW Washington St. All screenings will be at the McMenamins Kennedy School Theater. For tickets, visit queerdocfest.org.

Local authors Carter Sickels (“The Evening Hour” and “The Letter Q: Queer Writers’ Notes to Their Younger Selves”) and Cooper Lee Bombardier (a Sister Spit veteran) host a five-week writing workshop for writers of all gender expressions called Trans/Scribe starting June 19 and running every Tuesday from 7 to 9 p.m. through July 17 at Q Center. The workshop, which includes group work and oneon-ones with the authors, will be capped at 15 students. To register, email Carter at asickels@gmail.com and submit the $150 fee by June 12.

Portland dancer and choreographer Meshi Chavez brings his reworked duet “We Two Boys” to Studio Two May 18-20 before taking the show on the road to his hometown of Albuquerque. The performance is an interpretation of the Walt Whitman poem “We Two Boys Together Clinging” that explores masculinity and the tensions that arise when men are not shy about their need for one another. Chavez’s work has been called “raw” and “visceral” in its embrace of vulnerability. Friday and Saturday shows are at 8:30 p.m.; Sunday show is at 9 p.m. Tickets are available at brownpapertickets.com.

Speaking of “The Letter Q,” the recently released anthology features 64 queer writ-

First Congregational United Church of Christ will host the Portland premier

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of the recently released documentary “The Right to Love: An American Family” June 15 at 7:30 p.m. The award-winning film follows one otherwise-private couple’s efforts to combat discrimination by creating home movies with their children and posting them to their YouTube channel Gay Family Values. The couple, Bryan Leffew and Jay Foxworthy, and their children will attend the screening and answer questions.

ARTS BRIEFS

The Portland Gay Men’s Chorus will be time-traveling to the summer of 1967 with its “We Two Boys,” dancer and choreographer Meshi Chavez’s a interpretation of the Walt “Summer of Love” Pride conWhitman poem “We Two Boys Together Clinging,” May 18-20 at Studio Two. cert, featuring songs from Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band including “Yesterday,” “Revolution,” sion, Jeau Breedlove, Velvet Hexe, The Dolly “Hey Jude,” and “I Want to Hold Your Hand.” Pops, Saturn, Melody Awesomazing, Rachel The chorus brings back The Beatles June 16 Palmer, and Mister E. The always free show at 7:30 p.m. at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert starst at 10 p.m. at Red Cap and will be folHall with the help of dance troupe Locomo- lowed by a dance party. tions, a cappella ensemble Cascade, and a live rock band. Tickets are available at tickQ Center’s monthly lunch hour program ets.pdxgmc.org. InQuisitive features Queertet, a Portland string quartet that plays both classical and Monthly queer cabaret Peep Show will non-classical music in an effort to bring also be drawing inspiration from various chamber music to the masses. Doors open idols at its May 18 show “Kill Your Idols.” May 23 at 11:45 a.m. Donations (of food Expect unflattering imitation and ironic or money) are accepted but not required idolatry from Carla Rossi, The Drag Man- to attend.

May/June 2012 • 37

ARTS & CULTURE

PHOTOGRAPHER WAYNE BUND EXPLORES CHILDHOOD FANTASIES IN ‘MIMESIS’ By Erin Rook PQ Monthly

“There weren’t queer role models, or they were villains. I turned to fantasy because of this.� Bund wondered, “Would I find that in others within my queer community?� Though the current manifestation of MIMESIS is limited to young adults, Bund says he’d like to extend the age range in the future to explore the particular ways different generations interact with fantasy. “Today [queer youth] have Kirk from ‘Glee,’ ‘Ru Paul’s

Like his Radical Faery namesake Pan, artist Wayne Bund functions as a sort of playful piper, leading lost boys and girls into magic and mischief. In his new show, MIMESIS, Bund grabs a cohort of Gen X and Y queers by the hand, revisiting their childhood fantasies through photographs taken in constructed sets. “I realized my work wants to argue [for] fantasy taking over notions of truth,â€? says the 31-year-old Pacific Northwest College of Art alumnus and faculty member. “MIMESIS is really about mimicking reality ‌ mimicking what exists in life versus what lives in the realms of imagination.â€? Bund has photographed each of his 10 subjects in two settings, a bedroom scene that stands in for reality and a childhood fantasy set. He initially opened the show April 21 with just the bedroom photos; the fully installed process-based show opens May 19 at Place PDX. MIMESIS, funded in part by the Regional Arts and Culture Council, is a departure from Bund’s past work, which has largely consisted of self-portrait photography and performance by his drag alter ego Feyonce. “My work around fantasy was all around self-portraiture. I was getting tired of taking pictures of myself,â€? Bund says. “One of the limitations for this project is to apply techniques of self portraiture to other Anthony Szabo explores his childhood fantasy of being Sebastian from “The Never-Ending Storyâ€? for MIMESIS. people.â€? In focusing the camera outward, Bund is searching for Drag Race.’ I remember seeing ‘Will and Grace,’ ‘Queer Eye parallels to his own childhood escape into fantasy in the for the Straight Guy’ become part of [the] mainstream as lives of his peers. He posits that queer and genderqueer I was leaving adolescence,â€? Bund says. “What is [growing children have to look beyond reality to find role models up queer] like in a world of ‘It Gets Better?’â€? that resonate. Bund’s fascination w ith fantasy grew out of the Bund recalls growing up on a farm in Boring, Ore., sur- necessity of a childhood removed from urban amenirounded by family but lacking in queer role models, aside ties and before the proliferation of video games. Makefrom an uncle who died of AIDS when he was 10. believe was the activity de jour for Bund and the sib-

lings and cousins that formed his early social circle. “I grew up on amazing 80-acre farm in Boring on the Sandy River. I had my grandparents next door, my cousins across the street, three siblings. ‌ We’d all play together,â€? Bund says. “We kind of created our own fantasy world as a group.â€? Sometimes that world starred pop culture characters such as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Bund played Donatello) and was inspired by movies such as “Legendâ€? and “Labyrinth.â€? Eventually, that impulse to role-play turned internal with video games. These early cultural influences initially had a more direct impact on his career goals. Inspired in part by Captain Planet, and his Earthdefending youth squad, Bund dreamed of becoming an environmental biologist. That, or a designer for Nintendo Power magazine. In an odd twist of fate, his sister grew up wanting to be an artist and is now a marine biologist. “I didn’t come to the practice of visual art making until I was 23 or 24,â€? Bund says. When he was younger, Bund’s primary artistic outlets were theatre, photojournalism, and writing. But he found that the process of auditioning for plays didn’t appeal to him and he took a detour toward the visual arts. His work still tends to have a performative aspect. Another common thread through Bund’s work is a dialogue about queerness and gay identity. “‘The Hours’ made me really Photos by Wayne Bund want to be a writer. Since then, I’ve always been concerned with queer identity in my work,â€? Bund says. “[I want to] speak beyond a queer audience. Queers are my base audience of course, but I don’t want to preach to the choir.â€? The full installation of MIMESIS opens May 19 at Place PDX, 700 SW 5th Ave on the third floor of the Atrium Building at Pioneer Place. Gallery hours are Thursday-Sunday, noon-6 p.m.

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tackling titans: “Become legendary — become a Shockwave.” Continued from page 13

that no one knows exists in a sport that everyone expects women to fail [playing]. When you stand in the end zone and realize that together a teacher, a stay-at-home mom, a PhD student, a mechanic, and a waitress just scored a touchdown, you realize a lot of things are possible.” Liani Reyna, a third-year veteran, echoes those rather inspirational observations: “If you’re a huge fan of football, wanted to play, but never thought you could, this is a great team to play for. There’s a mix of veterans and rookies, so learning the game is made easier.” Or, you know, there’s always: “Become legendary — become a Shockwave.” That pitch courtesy of newcomer (rookie!) Jamie Nordby. So the Shockwave are the stuff of legend, apparently. Looks like we have one more in a long list of reasons to head out and see for ourselves. Are you in?

Photo by Jenn Drake

Far from “powderpuff” — the ladies of Shockwave play rough.

guidance Continued from page 30

you are firmly settled in yourself as you are. But after that, let it go completely. It doesn’t matter at that point how hard-won that battle was — it doesn’t matter what you went through, it doesn’t matter what you suffered. At the point at which that identity is 100 percent yours, consciously and deeply settled into your personality, then part with it. Let it go, and once again have no idea who you are. PQ: What about the hostility and oppression we face from outside of the community? Can you speak to the causes of that, and whether there is a solution to it? Guidance: … People who want to overcome their homophobia will, and not every-

body does. Not everybody is going to come around to a loving, or even sane position regarding queer issues in your lifetime. There will always be people who hate you for something you can’t change. I want to point out that there are a lot of people, queer and otherwise, who are hated for things they can do nothing about. There is nothing we can do about that sometimes except to learn to be comfortable with hatred as it comes at us. The fact is that hatred from others is painful, but it is far from intolerable — it can be borne just like every other experience, and it is ultimately harmless just like every other experience. That is not to say you should not speak your mind when your mind needs to be spoken. I do not suggest that you cower, and I certainly do not suggest that you hide. But it is not our right to be loved by everybody around us. Nobody is

More information — including a complete schedule — can be found at www.portlandshockwave.com/. Go see for yourself! Want to make sure your team or your sport gets some PQ ink? Email Daniel@PQMonthly.com.

entitled to that, and nobody has that privilege. You must be strong enough to realize that the quality of your life is determined ultimately by your own internal and external actions and not by the thoughts or feelings or behaviors of anyone else. I know this is a tough pill to swallow, particularly for anyone who has been very recently and very egregiously abused, but this is true for all of us. You must trust that you can have the kind of life you want, even while other people’s opinions and laws disrespect, admonish, and even hate you. PQ: If I may ask the Guidance, is there anything you’d want readers to walk away from this interview with? Guidance: Deep inside you there is something full, and rich, and waiting — your queer identity is a part of that, but really only a part. If you can use your explorations of that iden-

tity to plunge into the furthest reaches of your own person, then you have used it well. But find your whole potential, and don’t stop until you feel you have absorbed every experience available to you, and until you know yourself so well that even your ideas about yourself become obsolete. Being queer is the beginning of who you are, not the end. Take it all the way into the heart of yourself. Take it all the way home. You’ll find a much longer version of this interview at pqmonthly.com. Emily Carson holds regular public sittings, meditation groups, and retreats in Portland, San Francisco, and Mt. Shasta. She also offers one-onone consultations for those dealing with illness and injury. For more information about Emily Carson and the Guidance, visit www. soundofrain.org.

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PQMONTHLY.COM pqmonthly.com

May/June 2012 • 39

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Pretty And Witty And Gay Why I Love Republicans Belinda Carroll PQ Monthly

Oh, MY! Kats and kittens, it’s election season! That special time once every four years when we get to partake in the kind of crazy on national television that is normally reserved for a Pioneer Courthouse Square street ranter. It’s also the time of year when I audibly squeal like a little girl every time Rachel Maddow is on, because if there’s one person who could coax me into a bit of political discourse while in contortions a yoga teacher wouldn’t ask of me, it’s Rachel during elections. It seems the only things separating the street corner doomsayer from our TV brethren are the hideously ugly signs with clashing colors. I think someone needs to do a study on lack of color coordination, being a hateful ignoramus, and helmet hair. There has to be a connection. I know that back when I was a gaybe, I met a loving yet sarcastically biting drag queen who showed me the error of my Aqua Net ways and let me know that moisturizer was my friend. And, maybe the Right has the same thing, only it involves pounding out of followers the ability to notice the difference between blue and summer dahlia, and a make-under, because nothing screams “liberal sympathizer” like a well-tailored, soft poly/cotton blend. But, as we know from experience — and for some of us through reruns of Oprah — we can’t paint all people with the same brush. We may delight in making a new definition of Santorum, or speculating with our friends whether Romney is a robot or an alien from the planet McCorperationland, but much like we are not all ass-less chaps-wearing glitter bombers, conservatives are not all alike. I know it’s not easy to see with the naked eye, considering the Republican National Convention looks like a sea of carbon copy white people with dots of color — a phenomenon that I used to suspect was more the action of Central Casting than actual persons of color choosing to be there. “We need an Asian!” says Suit One. “WHAT? An Asian and a black? What am I, MAGIC?!” says Suit Two, in a conversation that I just made up. It’s easy to look at their party, and see 10,000 President Reagans circa 1985. But I’m sure they imagine our liberal GLBT-lovin’, pro-choice, equal marriage havin’, civil liberties insistin’ ways and just visualize a sea of men with long hair yelling, “You go

girl!” and singing at the least provocation while mincing along in short shorts and marabou-covered mules. I wish that were true; the world would be like a musical! I am someone who tours all over, i nclud i ng sma l l Oregon towns and sees firsthand Republican logging men replete in camouflage vests. “What reconnaissance mission are you going to be completing in the casino, Mr. Renegade Man?” I do NOT say to them, because they own guns and I’m not suicidal. I gently explain to them that we are people just like them, but they have a hard time hearing me over the detonation of the hand grenades they’ve thrown to chase me out of town. So we’re guilty, on both sides, of not respecting the other side as people who just want to do our best at making the world the best place, even when our idea of the “best” seems ridiculous to one another. But I’ve talked to the “real America,” as the GOP likes to call them. And, I know that if you appeal to their sense and educate them, they can listen and can change their opinions. I’ve had people come up to me after shows, people who were once homophobic, anti-transgender, or worse, proG.W. Bush, but have had a change of heart and want LGBT folks to have equal rights — even if they don’t change their party affiliation. So, as the election season wears on and we (or I) are spending every spare moment trying to figure out what body part rhymes with Romney so we (or I) can come up with a scathing gay sex joke, remember that the crazy pants GOP opinions are becoming passé. I believe that not ver y many years from now, those people are going to be viewed the same way we view those who enforced Jim Crow in the South. Because — and I’ve met her — there’s a little old lady in Coos Bay, Ore., voting the way she has for 55 years, but since her granddaughter came out she wants a wedding and great grandchildren — come hell or high water. And when the chips are down, that’s who we want joining the fight: little old ladies who know that if it’s not done now, they won’t get to see their little Jenny become an honest woman, because those are the people who volunteer and work the most for campaigns. We’re going to win our rights, one cute little old lady Republican at a time.

Belinda Carroll is a Portland-based nationally touring stand-up comic, writer, vocalist, and an ardent LGBT activist who is in desperate need of a nap, a massage, and a girlfriend who works for an airline or a spa. For booking or to offer the aforementioned services, her email is BelindaDCarroll@gmail.com. pqmonthly.com

Cultivating Life

THE GOOD LIFE

EAT, DRINK, AND, BE MARY BETE-LUKAS: AUTHENTICITY, QUALITY, TRADITION By Brock Daniels PQ Monthly

WHAT I BELIEVE: A GARDENING MANIFESTO By LeAnn Locher PQ Monthly

I used to get nervous about my gardening. “Am I doing it right?” “When do I plant what?” “Is everything going to die and I’m going to be a big failure?” In the early days, I made many phone calls to my parents with endless questions. Ah, the doubting of the novice gardener. Today, as an OSU Extension Master Gardener, I get to talk to a lot of gardeners, and the newbies are full of such great questions. But the number-one piece of advice I like to give is to not worry. It’s okay to experiment, try things a few different ways, and realize with weather, soil conditions, pests, and human interference (I’m talking to you flower thiefs!), in gardening, we can’t control everything. When I say these things, I often see wide eyes soften, shoulders relax a little, and a realization come over them that they may just be doing it right already. I love these moments. The beautiful thing about gardening is that we each bring something different to our plots of dirt, and what we gain. Below are the things I believe about gardening. I believe everyone has a green thumb. You just may not know it yet. The belief in yourself and the will to make things grow go hand-in-hand. Coax yourself and coax that seed. It takes care, reflection, thoughtfulness, and patience — things we can all benefit from nurturing in ourselves. I believe gardening is an act of rebellion. In our manufactured world of big box stores, packaged meat, and shrink-wrapped vegetables, we gardeners who grow food from our own soil do it ourselves. I revel in being that rebel. Farmers are gardeners and gardeners are

farmers: I don’t believe there’s a difference and if you do, stop it. There’s more power in coming together than separating. The garden is a grand place to fly your freak flag high. Like growing wildly colored azaleas in brazen rows? Shearing your hedge to resemble a giant llama? Accenting spent poppy seed pods with hot pink spray paint? You go, gardener. You go. Gardening connects me to my heritage — to my grandparents and the four o-clocks I grow in our front bed the way my grandfather grew in his own garden. To my parents and their love of freshly grown produce, and to those who’ve gardened with me throughout my life. Gardening connects me to memories — the hot pink flowers I planted with my sister in my first garden in Northern California. The newly planted “Wink’s Walk” in memory of our dog Wink who passed away this last year; the white hydrangeas are as white and fluffy as that sweet little maltipoo. Gardening is a constant environmental lesson in less is more. The fewer chemicals we use, the healthier the garden gets. The increase in birds and beneficial insects since cutting the chemicals proves it. Never forget the garden is for people. Creating spaces to enjoy and take in the garden, alone, with the one you love, or with parties of friends and family, is at the core of our garden and always will be. When I finally figured that out, all of the disparate elements of our garden have come together. And for god’s sake, enjoy just being in your garden. Garden trends are silly. Do what you want and revel in your discoveries, new, or old. Good gardeners share everything they have: knowledge, stories, seeds, and starts. Our garden began with wonderful “passa-long” plants from older gardeners. Pass it on. Never stop learning. The garden is a perennial workshop designed to show you something new every year. Be open to it.

LeAnn Locher is an OSU Extension Master Gardener who gardens in North Portland. Connect with her on Facebook at facebook.com/sassygardener. pqmonthly.com

yeast-risen crepe-like flatbread made with a fermented starter much like sourdough. A uniquely spongy, slightly sour bread, injera is the foundation of every “wot” — the stewlike main dishes. Served on an enormous platter, the traditional delicacies scream “communal eating!” With your right hand, bite-size pieces of injera bread are ripped off, and used to grab one of the many colorful creations. An array of beautifully-prepared concoctions come with any of the combination plates, and I suggest you start there

Dietary restrictions in various religions around the world have given rise to a wide variety of culinary opportunities. Geographic landscapes naturally organize Ethiopian natives into groups. The northern high country of Ethiopia is populated mainly by Christians, while Muslims and Animists call the lower plains home. This is a diverse group of people who tend to share a common food philosophy: Food is love, food is life, and food is energy, for the body and the soul. “Your eyes eat before your mouth does,” Peter Tesfu shares as he suggests menu options at Bete-Lukas, his warm, tucked-away Ethiopian restaurant in Southeast Portland. “It’s about the experience!” All five senses dance to create a perfectly choreographed showcase of African traditions. Color, warmth, and Photos by Xilia Faye relaxed ease hypBete-Lukas owner Peter Tesfu (left) uses local grass-fed meat, fresh notize the body organic vegetables, and Ethiopia-grown spices. at Bete-Lukas; a required destito absorb all the robust, earthy flavors that nation for foodcome with eating Ethiopian. I rip off my first ies and novices piece of injera, and immediately attack the alike. Siga Wot — beef that has been stewed until Cardamom, it wilts perfectly in the beautiful onion and cloves, cinnaBerberé sauce. The tart injera hits the back mon, fenugreek, of my jaw like a sharp aged cheddar cheese turmeric, garlic, as I take my first bite. Next comes the senginger, and pepsation of the smooth, perfectly-spiced beef, pers found their way to Ethiopia via ancient unlike anything I have ever tasted — stewy, trade routes through Africa. Blended in yet chili-like, but a million times better. such a way, these spices, mixed with locally- Garlic, onion, and concentrated peppers grown produce, make Ethiopian food like linger on the tongue, and I now know I have none other in the world. found new love. “We don’t stray too far from tradition,” We continue to eat dishes like Misser Peter says. “In Ethiopia we get our meat and Wot, Kik Alicha Wot, Gomen, Tikel Gomen, vegetables fresh daily. Many families grow and Fosolia with a side of house salad, as their own. We use what we need, and it is well as more Siga Wot and Minchet Abesh, the love we have for our family that makes Gomen Besega, and Kitfo with Ayib. the food taste better.” From vegan and vegetarian dishes to lamb Peter maintains quality without sacrific- and beef, there is something on the menu ing tradition by bringing those standards for everyone. Each recipe boasts a different to his restaurant. Local grass fed meats are flavor, and each flavor is different experience. purchased whole and butchered in house. Excitement encourages further discoveries. Organic vegetables are chopped fresh. Spices All of which are triumphant innovations. are grown, blended, and picked up in-person once a year in Ethiopia just for Bete-Lukas. Bete-Lukas “I can’t duplicate the authenticity of the 2504 SE 50th Ave, Suite D flavor without using authentic ingredients,” Portland, OR 97206 Peter explains. And it is all well worth it. 503-477-8778 Injera, the national dish of Ethiopia, is a www.bete-lukas.com

Brock Daniels, a Pacific Northwest native, has studied wine, culinary arts, gastronomy, and loves researching new food. Brock has written a self-published cookbook titled “Our Year in the Kitchen.” Reach him at brock@pqmonthly.com. May/June 2012 • 41

IMAGES

SEE AND BE SEEN We want to see more of you! Do you have photos you’d like to share in the pages of PQ Monthly? We’re looking for shots of our readers and their families and friends on vacation, out on the town, volunteering, taking a stand … you get the idea. Send your photos along with a photo credit and caption to info@pqmonthly.com, post them on our Facebook page, or tag PQ Monthly in them. Included in this month’s photos are shots from the PQ Monthly Press Party, April 19 at Hamburger Mary’s; the grand opening of the new UnderU4Men store, April 21 in downtown Portland; Basic Rights Oregon’s 19th annual Oregonians Against Discrimination Business Leaders Luncheon, April 26, at the Oregon Convention Center; Cascade Aids Project Art Auction, April 28 at the Memorial Coliseum; and the NOH8 Campaign open photo shoot, May 4 at the Jupiter Hotel.

PQ Press Party and UnderU4Men photos by Xilia Faye CAP Art Auction photos by Izzy Ventura BRO luncheon photos by Emily G Photography NOH8 shoot photos by Melanie Davis

42 • May/June 2012

pqmonthly.com

IMAGES

pqmonthly.com

May/June 2012 • 43

Business Directory PQ Monthly is published the 3rd Thursday of every month. Please contact us for advertising opportunities at 503.228.3139

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MORTGAGE

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May/June 2012 • 45

THE FUN STUFF

ASTROSCOPES WITH MISS RENEE End Up Tales Miss Renee aka Tarot Chick is an empath, tarot card reader, and spiritual astrologer of 19 years based out of NE Portland. She loves love notes so feel free to holla or schedule a tarot / astrology chart session: that_tarot_chick@yahoo.com.

Gemini:

Dayum! Solar eclipse/ new moon and sun join in quick thinking communicator Gemini on 5/25. New moons = setting intention. Whispering prayers into the emptiness. Solar eclipses = “wild card” new beginnings. Let it ignite a new way of seeing your world. Translation: A mentally energizing tornado of, “Whoa! That could work!” is headed your way.

Aries:

You think: “G et ‘er done!” Unfortunately it’s not uncommon to choose Bamm-Bamm-acquiring methods. Mindful communication is an import part of getting the job done. Mid-May, powerful configs in Gemini harmonizing with your Sun and ruler Mars offer communication finesse, prowess, and networking opps. Stop, comb yo hair!

Taurus:

Your ruler Venus is retrograding in the “people person” sign Gemini, stirring up any unresolved issues around love, all relationships types, values, and networking. Equate this retrograde to tending roses and sharpen your pruning shears, peeps. Mindfully though; someone/thing you initially labeled compost might actually be worth a deeper look.

ANSWERS TO PUZZLES ON PAGE 39

Cancer:

Cosmic energies between lovey Venus retrograding through variety-worshiping Gemini and grounding Saturn, also in retrograde, either cool affections that started out piping hot or sincerely solidify and take root now. Therefore, security- and safety-loving Cancer might consider asking: (head cocked, single eyebrow raised) “So, wassup, boo?”

Leo:

An eclipse of your ruler the Sun and its entrance into variety loving/communicator Gemini on 5/20 combined with a lunar eclipse in your fiery brother sign Sagittarius on 6/4 über magnifies and brings into consciousness how you mentally process and your belief systems. Elevate/broaden your mind and goals, Qween.

Virgo:

Action with your sister sign Gemini means you need to make sure you have a handsfree headset, recording device, sharp #2, and notepad cuz the ish is ‘bout to move at the speed of light. Ground yourself. Come July you’ll be able to juggle with your toes while yawning and knocking back shots.

Libra:

Your ruler Venus retrograding in “butterfly” Gemini harmonizing with a powerful lunar eclipse in Firey Sagittarius could surprise you by unearthing your inner ruggedness/adventurousness. Your Indian Jones/Rosie the Riveter may be prettier, more polished, but (s)he is still mighty! Now go do something badass with a bullwhip.

Scorpio:

Your ruler Pluto retrograded 4/10, focusing you inward to pull out anything outdated and stagnant. Planetary configurations in airy Gemini are what you need to keep from falling to the bottom of your inner abyss. Use Gemini’s intellectual “Spock” remove. You can still rock all black if you want to.

Sagittarius:

I feel you, baby! You’re the adult tooth surfacing in the kids’ gums. You’re the linguist 10 minutes away from decoding the ancient scroll. Hard planetary configs in Gemini, Virgo, and Pisces have driven some of you half mad, but a lunar eclipse in Sagg 6/4 shows the light in the dark.

Capricorn:

Do yourself a favor friend and just sit it down somewhere. At every turn for the clan of Capricorn there are retrogrades forcing you to slow yo roll, reprioritize, and redefine. This would be a smoother process if you thank these retrogrades instead. They whisper: “Measure twice cut once, baby.”

Aquarius:

Is it left or right? Is it this or that? Well, maybe it’s both. For all your open-mindedness and forward thinking, you’re still a “fixed” sign, and “black or white” thinking can still trip you. The answers are not necessarily eluding you. They just may come in sets of two.

Pisces:

Sun and Jupiter in the sign of your stable friend Taurus have helped you clearly define and ground y o u r v a l u e s / b e l i e f s. Remember what you learned here as soon both will give over to, “Why should I chose?” Gemini by 6/13. Hors d’oeuvres are great but don’t replace a meal.

PQ Monthly will publish a week early in June for Pride, on June 14. Contact us for advertising opportunities at

503.228.3139 • www.pqmonthly.com

46 • May/June 2012

No ‘fill in the blank’ allowed

By Anonymous

I am all for expressing preferences, I am. When you message me on Grindr and tell me you want to do things to me I’ve never heard seriously referenced before — like being my “puppy” or “lap dog” and “licking my feet,” I totally get that’s what you’re into. And I applaud you for it. I’ll kindly decline, wish you well on your journey, and hope you find a nice pair of feet somewhere to worship. You can even tell me what you’d like to do to my various orifices, even though you’ve never seen them and you don’t even know what I like. More power to you. Express yourself. Get what you want. You know what I don’t really understand? Your incessant need to get nasty with your preferences — and no, that isn’t a sexual reference. I mean racist and rude. Do you really need to spout shit like “no fems or fats” in your 10-word bio? Do you really need to single out races and ethnicities as unattractive — especially when employing casual slurs to make your point? Do you really need to worship masculinity (“masc” only!) as the end-all and be-all of homosexual aptitude? You do know the whole city can see your face, right? (And likely, your junk — there’s a Tumblr site for that.) Some will say it’s just a matter of getting down to business, getting what you want. (I’m certainly not opposed to getting down to business, just perhaps just not in publicdeclaration-mode.) I say: regardless of your asinine disclaimer, you’re going to get messages from guys you’re not into. Why not decline kind offers from parties you loathe? Ignore the messages and claim Grindr malfunction? You’re not going to want to plow or get plowed by everyone who crosses your path — so why insist on the horizontal hostility? You spend your entire life trying to be “accepted” by society at large, and in the interim you’re going to call all the “fems” out there undesirable? (Because you’re so masculine there on your knees.) Or declare to the world you don’t like this race or that? It’s a damn shame, you homo hater. Perhaps most annoyingly, I find your appalling announcements distracting. When I should be getting down to my business, I’m distracted by your personal mission to sow seeds of shame among your people — and I find myself praying you reap tenfold the beautiful karmic justice that awaits. Because, since you’re so masculine, I doubt you’ll ever see this; you’re probably not reading a queer rag. What would all those people in line at the coffee shop think of you? Look, big ole’ faggot! In the end, I think your pointless hating all comes down to perception, not preferences. You’ve bought — hook, line, and sinker — the nasty bill of goods cultural repression has sold you. So when you see my “no assholes” bio, I’m not talking about bottoms. I am talking about you —and your Scruff account, too. Have a romantic encounter “end up” somewhere interesting? Feel particularly strongly about some irritating habit repeated again and again by someone—or our collective? Send anonymous stories, protecting names and identities, from awkward dating— and other—scenarios to us at enduptales@PQMonthly.com. We promise we’ll keep all your secrets. pqmonthly.com

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QUERY A QUEER

rambling of someone too privileged to understand the ubiquitous oppression faced by queer people, to relate to having your identity defined and degraded by outsiders. But this is a common point of tension even within the LGBTQ community, and understandably so. On the one hand, we come from incredibly diverse backgrounds Are you a lesbian puzzled by gay men? A that are too often marked by trauma and transgender person pondering bisexuality? oppression. On the other, as people living on the margins of society, many of us have developed a thick skin and a devilA straight person perplexed by queers of all may-care attitude. There’s something about being told that stripes? PQ is here to help you through your the way you live and love is a sin that inspires a certain degree “questioning” period. Send your questions to of irreverence. While these states of being are by no means info@pqmonthly.com and put Query a mutually exclusive, they can and often do clash. As someone who has been accused of being easily Queer in the subject line. offended and overly concerned with “political correctness,” I may be a bit biased. But I think it’s important to step back Question: Why are queer people so sensitive? Is it just me, or is our a bit, examine our own defensiveness (especially when we community full of PC police? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not feel we’re being targeted by the so-called PC police), and a prejudiced person, I just don’t get why people want to be try to practice empathy. I don’t think anyone wants to be offended. And peroffended by everything all the time. I’m tired of worrying about whether or not I’m using the right word, the right haps “offense” is not the most precise expression for the pronoun, etc. Why can’t people just relax and stop taking very real feelings of trauma that certain words can invoke. Next time someone calls you out for the words you use, themselves so seriously? take a minute to simply listen. Bringing this concern to your attention may not have been easy. Try to put yourself Answer: When this line of questioning comes from outside the in their shoes, or the shoes of the people they are trying LGBTQ community, it’s easy to shrug it off as the ignorant to stand up for. Imagine hearing that word while being assaulted, harassed, or rejected by loved ones. Consider that their objection to your language or behavior may be 43. *Aguilera and Carey can hit a high one THEME: POP MUSIC more than a mere academic exercise, despite the vocabu44. Yuletides lary they use to express it. 46. Winter Olympic event ACROSS 47. “Charlie and the Chocolate There does seem to be a tendency in the queer commu1. Gain access to, 2 words Factory” author nity to use academic jargon to talk about injustice. I’m not 6. *1965’s “Get ___ My Cloud” 48. Army’s offensive, pl. knocking the role of theory in understanding the dynam9. Benedict XVI, e.g. 13. African antelope 14. Equal to 10 liters 15. Was furious 16. “Happy Endings” actor Adam _____ 17. CSI evidence 18. Stand on end 19. Chews out 21. *Famous for her “Umbrella” 23. Likewise 24. “...partridge in a ____ tree...” 25. *Madonna’s controversial garment 28. Viking writing symbol 30. Interstellar cloud 35. “A River ____ Through It” 37. Cause of Titanic’s demise 39. Like a mad dog 40. “Do ____ others as you would do...” 41. Tennessee footballer

50. Remote Automated Weather Station 52. Used at start of new hole 53. Unstressed-stressed pattern in poetry 55. Pig’s home 57. *If she “were a boy...” 61. Road less traveled 64. In the midst 65. ___ and feather 67. EU money, pl. 69. American poet James Whitcomb __ 70. Geological period 71. Narrow mountain ridge 72. Benevolent and Protective Order of____ 73. *The ___ Hot Chili Peppers 74. *She wakes up “in the morning feeling like P. Diddy”

DOWN

32. Lusitania’s destroyer 33. Gracefully slender 34. *She “could have had it all rolling in the deep” 36. Worn from walking 38. *She “was born this way” 42. Gossipy 45. Scrooge-like 49. Cul de ___ 51. Mean characteristic 54. Approximately 1.094 yards 56. *James Blunt: “_____ Beautiful” 57. *____naked Ladies, band 58. Short for Emilia 59. Nutrition of an embryo 60. Dollar bills 61. Half of Brangelina 62. Greek god of war 63. Shakespearean “does” 66. “We ___ Marshall” 68. *”Under the boardwalk, down by the ___”

1. As opposed to Gross Domestic Product 2. Unfledged hawk 3. Bath powder 4. Administer 5. *”You belong with” her? 6. Betting probability 7. *Belieber, e.g. 8. Bell-bottoms bottom 9. Between larva and adult 10. Sign of something to come 11. Philadelphia’s Ivy League member 12. Cocoyam 15. Hitler, e.g. 20. “No ____ about it” 22. 007 creator 24. Throw out of kilter 25. *He’d “catch a grenade for ya” 26. A sentence that goes too long 27. Poker stakes 29. First man on the moon 31. *E Street ____

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ics of power and control in our society. But I think when it comes to personal interactions, this language can serve as a barrier to effective communication. When we use words and phrases that are difficult for the uninitiated to pronounce, let alone understand, we risk alienating people in a way that defeats the purpose of the conversation. Still, that doesn’t remove responsibility from the person whose language or behavior is being questioned. It is easier to dismiss someone as being overly sensitive or politically correct than it is to examine our own actions. If you don’t understand why someone is offended, ask. If you feel yourself getting defensive, pause for a moment and consider why. You don’t have to agree with what the other person has to say. But what you can, and should, do is hear them out and believe them when they say they are hurt by your words or actions. Because pain elicits anger and frustration, “Your words hurt me/people that I care about” may look more like, “That shit is fucked up.” Speaking up in the face of oppression is a means by which we secure our survival. For the most marginalized and oppressed members of our community, “just relaxing” is not an option. Don’t get me wrong — I’m no fan of censorship. I believe there is a time, a place, and a way to say things that are meant to make people uncomfortable. For that action to transcend insult and injury and become art or comedy, a certain amount of forethought and intention is required. I think that if we truly care about one another, we will take the time to consider the impact of our words before we speak. You may feel irritated by the fact that people are so “easily” hurt, that they are so sensitive. But keep in mind that we earned these feelings. Plus, being sensitive can be a really positive thing, because it helps us to recognize injustice and practice empathy and compassion. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. -Erin Rook, PQ Monthly staff writer

May/June 2012 • 47

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48 • May/June 2012

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