PQ Monthly: April-May 2012

MONTHLY

KENDALL CLAWSON Our Lady of Salem PQMONTHLY.COM VOL 1 No. 3 April/May 2012

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LGBTQ OF QDOC HEALTH GUIDE

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• April/May 2012

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Red Dress Party photo by Xilia Faye

CHEERS TO YOUR HEALTH!

To misquote Benjamin Franklin, “Early to bed and early to rise, makes a queer healthy, wealthy, and wise.” Alright, Ben, the whole “early” thing doesn’t work for a lot of us — and let’s not even get started on the idea of getting wealthy in this economy, regardless of what time we lay our pretty heads down to rest.

Much of this issue looks at ways we can all increase our wellness, be it by finding a queer-competent doctor, learning empowering self-defense techniques, paddling down the Willamette with the gals, playing with balls with the boys, or embracing ourselves for who we are and how we look. (Hey, good ol’ Ben was bald and pudgy, and he did all right for himself, both professionally and with the ladies.)

So, what is wellness to you and how do you seek/achieve/maintain it?

What barriers do you face in reaching your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual peak? Chime in at PQMonthly.com, on our Facebook page, or by sending us a letter to the editor at info@pqmonthly.com. We’d really love to hear from you!

The PQ Monthly Team

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A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:

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Portland’s next top politician........................................................................................................................ page 6

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Queer youth find safe havens...................................................................................................................... page 9

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izzy ventura

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proudqueer.com

Kari Greene on hate crimes, self-defense, and self-love.......................................................................... page 7

Addressing LGBTQ health disparities........................................................................................................... page 10 It’s a big, gay, sporty spring.......................................................................................................................... page 13 Business profile: Seven Star Acupuncture and Apothecary...................................................................... page 14 The journey (so far) of Kendall Clawson...................................................................................................... page 19 The 6th Annual Portland Queer Documentary Film Festival...................................................................... page 20 Fashion tips for how to spring foward........................................................................................................... page 23 Columns: What a Riot!; Latebian Life; Whiskey & Sympathy; Rain City; The Lady Chronicles; Cultivating Life; Purple Elbows; and Eat, Drink, and Be Mary

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Plus Query a Queer, Astroscopes with Miss Renee, This Month in Queer History, End Up Tales … and more!

April/May 2012 •

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NEWS BRIEFS

A BRIEF UPDATE ON Q PATROL In the wake of another hate crime against our community — again, downtown in the entertainment district — thoughts and questions have in part turned to Q Patrol. And, frankly, concerns are mounting as we head into warmer months and events (Rose Festival) that sometimes attract troublemakers to our streets. PQ had the chance to talk to Q Center about its plans for a newer, revamped Q Patrol — part of a larger effort to minimize violence against LGBTQ citizens.

Q Center’s Logan Lynn explains, “The plan for year three of Q Center’s concentrated anti-violence project (QAVP) is to refocus on the original plan, which was in three parts: education, advocacy, and foot patrols.

These pieces were intended to be self-reinforcing efforts at improving community safety.

“The way this works: people walking foot patrols are also educating the community, and providing visibility and reporting services.

And this year we’re going to be beefing up the public education and visibility component in order to educate the broader community on safety concerns. Also, through the Office of Neighborhood Involvement, we’ve been assigned a PSU intern to head up the project. The benefit: we’ll have more person power/hours to dedicate than ever before.”

In an effort to make patrols most effective, Lynn explains how Q Center will approach the patrols’ sustainability, noting the usual loss of momentum as time between attacks grows longer: “The current plan for making foot patrols more sustainable is to pick long weekends and historically dangerous event times (Rose Festival, Pride, etc.) and staff the foot patrol more intensively than in previous years.

“If we have additional volunteer interest, we will fill in more weekends as people become available.

The days of us being out on the streets until the bars close every weekend from May until October are, for now, morphing into this new model. Our intern will also be working on developing education and advocacy and coordinating the Q Patrol. We’ll also have a component of community/business engagement to take the education out further than just our fold.”

The QAVP committee meets once a month on the last Monday at Q Center. Foot patrol trainings are scheduled to begin in May. For more information or to volunteer, call 503-234-7837.

-Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly pqmonthly.com

NEWS BRIEFS BREVITY ROCKS! NEWS FROM NEAR AND FAR NEWS BRIEFS

LOCAL

Brad Avakian with the 2012 Equality Advocate Award for his contributions to the passage and implementation of non-discrimination workplace protections for LGBTQ Oregonians.

Photo courtesy of Q Center

Bob Lamberson (right) and his partner, Timothy Berg

In the last two months, Portland has lost two much-loved members of the LGBTQ community. Bob Lamberson, co-host of “Cabaret with a Q,” passed away in February. The cabaret was a long-running musical sing-along program held at Q Center that incorporated theater, song, and humor. Lamberson is survived by his partner, Timothy Berg. Glen Dugger, owner of Scandals, passed away in March and will be remembered for the impact his bar had on the Portland gay rights movement. Dugger is survived by his partner, Felipe.

On March 14, two gay men, Kiah Lawson and Sam Smith, were assaulted outside Silverado while they were holding hands and walking to the bar. Two men allegedly approached them, called them “faggots,” and proceeded punch and kick the couple — while brandishing a knife. Lawson eventually broke away, running to Silverado for help. Silverado manager Imer Rodríguez came to the couples’ aid, and noticed the attackers down the street, vandalizing Smith’s car. Rodríguez pursued the attackers, eventually restraining one until police arrived.

Not long after the incident, police arrested Paul Anthony Martinson — and confirmed it was, indeed, a hate crime. Martinson faces charges of assault, intimidation, and criminal mischief. Martinson vehemently denies these charges and allegations. Anyone with information on the attack should contact Detective Paul Dolbey at 503-823-0451.

Portlanders will participate in the Worldwide Civil Rights March for LGBTQ equality April 21 with an event at the Garlington Center, giving activists and advocates an opportunity to learn about each other’s efforts and share ideas in small group conversations. Communities across the globe will host marches and meeting to promote civil rights for LGBTQ people.

State Treasurer Ted Wheeler and Secretary of State Kate Brown will host Basic Rights O r e g o n’s 1 9 t h annual “Oregonians Against Discrimination Business Leaders Luncheon” Brad Avakian April 26. BRO will honor Labor Commissioner

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and PSU’s Women’s Resource Center is working with Portland Women’s Crisis Line to put on the 2012 Take Back the Night/Bike Back the Night April 26. This year’s theme, “Survivors on the margins: Exposing Barriers, Breaking Silence,” highlights the impact of sexual and domestic violence on members of marginalized communities. Survivors, allies, and advocates will gather for speakers and performances followed by a bike ride and march. The Women’s Resource Center will also host a workshop April 23 by the Sex-Workers Outreach Coalition on “Safety and Sex Work – Info and Tools for Negotiating Risks in the Trade.”

The grassroots movement Unite Against the War on Women will rally April 28 on the steps of the Oregon State Capitol to speak out about legislative and policy decisions that impact women and their families.

Among the many Margaret Carter featured speakers are Oregon’s first African American woman legislator Margaret Carter, Oregon Secretary of State Kate Brown, Publisher-Owner of PQ Monthly and El Hispanic News Melanie Davis, TransActive Executive Director Jenn Burleton, and Portland City Council Member Amanda Fritz. Performers include The Marissa Mission, The Raging Grannies of Portland, and The Raging Grannies of Corvallis.

Out Loud, KBOO’s LGBTQ radio show, celebrates 10 years of queer culture radio May 11 with a party at Crush Bar. The show started out with a 30-minute monthly slot and has grown into a hour-long weekly spotlight of queer arts, culture, and news. Annie Vergnetti, Joaquín López, and others will perform at this benefit for the listener-sponsored not-for-profit volunteer-run community radio station.

In partnership with the Portland Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the Jupiter Hotel will host the first Portland public photo shoot for the NOH8 Campaign on May 4. Celebrity photographer Adam Bouska will take individual and group portraits, with the distinctive duct tape and temporary tattoo, for a fee. The NOH8 Campaign, which began in response to California’s Proposition 8, uses interactive media to raise awareness about LGBTQ equality issues.

Queer and trans youth and their allies from across the state and region will descend on Portland May 12 for the annual Oregon Queer Youth Summit. The summit will explore this year’s theme — “Intersections of Identity” — through educational and recreational work-

shops, presentations, and conversations. The summit is free to attend and includes breakfast and lunch. Participants are encouraged to attend SMYRC’s annual Queer Prom that evening. Registration is required for the summit.

Bradley Angle, the only Oregon domestic violence agency with LGBTQ-specific programming and services, recently welcomed Deborah Steinkopf as its new executive director.

Steinkopf most recently served as the Director of development and communications for The Nonprofit Deborah Steinkopf Association of Oregon and has a long history of working with survivors of domestic violence, people impacted by HIV/ AIDS, and a wide range of ages. Bradley Angle is also preparing to welcome guests May 17 to it annual fundraising event, “Wine, Women, and Shoes.”

NATIONAL

Despite pressure from advocacy organizations, President Barack Obama declined to sign an executive order that would have barred federal contractors from discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. White House spokesman Shin Inouye said in a statement that the President is still committed to equal rights for LGBTQ people and that his goal is to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. Some advocates have criticized the President, saying his refusal to sign the order is a sign of political maneuvering.

A recent study from National Council of La Raza and Social Sciences Research Solutions found that 54 percent of Latinos support samesex marriage, a higher rate than that found among the general population. The results stand in the face of common misconceptions about Latinos and LGBTQ equality that have been amplified by anti-gay groups such as the National Organization for Marriage.

WORLD

A straight Russian lawyer was arrested in St. Petersburg earlier this month for violating the city’s newly minted ban on gay “propaganda.” Sergey Kondrashov, who held a sign showing support for a lesbian friend and her family, joins the ranks of straight allies who are now joining LGBTQ Russians in jail for presenting homosexuality in a positive light. Activists are appealing to Presidentelect Vladimir Putin to repeal the law.

According to the Huffington Post, Saudia Arabia is attempting to squelch homosexuality by banning gay and “tom boy” students from schools. It’s not clear what entity is behind the order given to the Commission for the Promotion of Vice and Virtue, but students will apparently be allowed to return only after they prove they have “corrected” their previous ways.

April/May 2012 •

NEWS

PORTLAND’S NEXT TOP POLITICIAN ON CAMERON THE THREE MAYORAL FRONTRUNNERS TALK TO YOU, PQ READERS

Photos by Xilia Faye, PQ Monthly

(Left to right) Charlie Hales, Eileen Brady, and Jefferson Smith attended Pride NW’s “An Evening with the Candidates” event last month.

By Daniel Borgen PQ Monthly

You’ve seen them everywhere; they’ve been shaking hands, kissing babies, and holding debates and forums at breakneck speed, spreading the good news, each clamoring to gather enough votes in May to avoid a runoff — or build momentum heading into November’s election.

On May 1, Q Center will hold a forum open to all official candidates dubbed “Welcome to Our Home.” Q’s executive director, Barbara McCullough-Jones, will moderate and will ask the candidates questions submitted by community members through Q Center’s website. In the spirit of jumpstarting dialogue, PQ chatted with the three frontrunners — Eileen Brady, Charlie Hales, and Jefferson Smith — about LGBTQ issues.

We asked each candidate two “big picture” questions. First, we asked about the candidates’ personal connection to the LGBTQ community and how those experiences have shaped their perspectives. Then we asked how each candidate, as mayor, would support Q Center, Q Patrol, and other programs designed to keep LGBTQ citizens safe and protected. Their responses follow.

Eileen Brady: “It’s a two-fold perspective for me. ... I’m also an old human resources director, and some of the things that gave me the most pride was putting together progressive workplaces. We designed a program that offered health care to everyone — part-timers, domestic partners, and their children. At the time it was pushing the envelope ... [and] certainly not the norm.

And now New Seasons boasts trans-inclusive benefits. I’ve always been a promoter of workplace benefits for all people.”

She continues, waxing more personal: “My daughter is marrying her girlfriend in less than three months, so it’s a family issue for me. It’s heartbreaking for me to worry about my own daughter holding hands with the person she loves and that it could be a safety issue for them. It’s distressing that she can’t get legally married in Oregon, which is why I’ve been so heavily involved with organizations like BRO. I was one of the ones who cried when BRO • April/May 2012

decided not to put marriage before voters this year. It’s hard to be a parent and to want your child to be happy with full rights and, right now, they don’t have them. But I believe this is our time.”

On safety: “Q Patrol has done a lot of great work; what an incredible opportunity for partnership and empowerment.

In Old Town and areas we want to have a safe nightlife, we have to be vigilant — for all the most vulnerable populations: people of color, women, LGBTQ people. It takes more than police. It takes citizens, activists, patrols — like Q and those who work on TriMet, for example. That active citizenry forges real partnerships and promotes safety for everyone. We have many tools and resources, and I look forward using all of them [to address safety concerns].”

Charlie Hales, on perspective: “In the mid-90s, I was the city commissioner in charge of the Fire Bureau and a member of the force ran a lesbian couple off the road, approached their car, and shouted epithets against their sexual orientation. I fired the guy. This was the period of intense anti-gay measures, statewide and town-by-town, throughout Oregon. The fire union fought for his reinstatement and won. Nonetheless, I took a stand against that behavior and helped to set a longer-term example.”

“Professionally, I have stood with the LGBTQ community on domestic partner benefits, making Portland a leader in civil rights and civic health, and against Measure 9. I have worked alongside the LGBTQ community for 20 years and I will be with them again — on marriage equality, the fight against HIV/AIDS, and in creating and sustaining a community of respect in our city. I will take public steps to combat HIV-related stigma and use the bully pulpit to bring awareness to the huge need for early testing. I will work for universal access to testing; if everyone was routinely screened, the number of newly-detected infections in the U.S. could go down from 40,000 a year to just a few thousand.”

On safety: “I’m a strong believer in community policing, which serves to deter and prevent crime, instead of solely depending on responding to emergencies. If it’s easy

for perpetrators to pick on victims because of an absence of oversight, then we need to do something about that. Police officers should be walking the neighborhoods in Old Town and the Stark Street area, not just sitting in their cars or in their Old Town station. They should know the names of the workers at the establishments in the area and vice versa — and of the neighbors.”

“The Q Center was established to be a safe place for the community to congregate; it is also essential to employ safety measures around it, and to address specific safety challenges.”

Jefferson Smith, on perspective: “It’s no secret my opponents and I share some basic values around social equality, and I’m sure we’re all strong supporters of the LGBTQ community. The reasons the LGBTQ community would support me aren’t that different from why other Portlanders would — I have the right experience, values, and vision. I have experience leading an organization and managing staff, as well as operating in politics. I have a record of bringing people together, developing new leaders, and advocating for progressive policies and social justice.

I take the work seriously, but I don’t take myself too seriously. And I’m pretty tall.”

Smith cites the need for public advocacy, political partnership, and policy decisionmaking. “I will continue my outspoken support of key issues facing the LGBTQ community. This isn’t a new commitment; I’ve had the support from this community to win previous elections, and I’ve been there to stand up for shared values. I’ve gone toeto-toe with Lars Larson on the air specifically supporting the freedom to marry. I’ve walked (and occasionally cartwheeled) in more than a half-dozen Pride Parades.”

“A mayor should also play a role as a partner in regional, statewide, and even national political fights. The Oregon Bus Project has knocked on thousands of doors for marriage equality. ... [As mayor] not only will I be able to participate in strategy meetings and fundraisers, but we’re building a campaign organization I don’t plan to jettison after the election. We’ll have bodies and voices to apply to progressive priorities.”

“Many of the more obvious things a city can do have already been done — that’s a credit to the city. We need to continue and amplify our reputation as a gay-friendly city. Not only do we have a moral commitment, but our reputation boosts our ability to attract and retain talent, boosting our economic competitiveness. But we still face challenges. Gay people have been victims of violence. I think Q Patrol is a great thing — but we need to do more. I will push for more ‘eyes on the street,’ from foot patrols to police officers to Clean and Safe personnel to street-oriented commerce. I want to hear your ideas, too.”

To submit your questions for Q Center’s Candidate Forum, email Info@pdxQcenter.org with the subject line “Candidate Forum.”

WHITTEN

We’re betting you don’t know much about Cameron Whitten, a queer mayoral candidate who’s been neck-deep in activism for quite some time — most recently helping organize the Occupy movement. We had the opportunity to talk to Cameron a bit about his candidacy — about his beliefs, his politics, and people who say his long-shot campaign doesn’t have a shot.

“I’m the only candidate of AfricanPhoto by Xilia Faye, PQ Monthly American descent, Cameron Whitten hoping to be Portland’s first black mayor,” Whitten says. “My perspective is from being a marginalized citizen in almost every respect. I’m black, queeridentified, young, poor, and even get teased sometimes for being vegan. I’m someone who has not let the oppression of a less-progressive-thinking society hinder my ability to fight for my community. My vision for real change is empowering for those who have witnessed my struggle, and it sets me aside from all competitors. I didn’t have life given to me on a silver platter; I am somebody the average Portlander can relate to.”

“I’m a visionary of what our society has to become for its own survival,” he says. “I’m an extraordinary community activist, a voice for marginalized communities and the new age of democracy. I advocate for systemic change, transforming the culture of our government to address public power, economic equality, and social justice. I want to empower the general population of our beautiful city to become the ultimate voice in government policy, using leadership style which provides vision and inspires collaboration with people who feel excluded by the political process.”

On his experience: “I’m a community activist and student. I have spent my time and energy building a strong community, gaining wisdom, and earning civic karma.

I’ve directed marches [within the Occupy movement], wrote speeches, represented the movement countless times for the media, educated others, and so much more. I have found my calling in investing in the future of humanity.”

On the subject of “major” and “minor” candidates: “There is nothing minor about anyone. If citizens don’t step up when they see a grave concern, then there will be no democracy. What is defined as a ‘major’ candidate is someone who is more concerned about business connections and insider politics than the general public. I consider myself to be a ‘major’ candidate for better reasons than that.”

-Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly

For more on Whitten — including the complete interview, stay with us at www.

PQMonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

NEWS

KARI GREENE ON HATE CRIMES, SELF-DEFENSE, AND SELF-LOVE

Kari Greene (right) teaches self-defense with an emphasis on power, dignity, and grace.

By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

Kari Greene wants you to know that you are someone worth protecting. A researcher and evaluator for the Oregon Public Health Division specializing in LGBTQ health, Greene is also an instructor at One With Heart Tulen Center, where she teaches a wide variety of individuals and communities self-defense and self-empowerment. Here, Greene shares her thoughts on the ways that Portland’s “liberal bubble” can perpetuate hate crimes, appropriate responses to victims and perpetrators of violence, and the critical need for queer people to insist upon our worth and value as individuals and as a community.

PQ: What sort of factors do you see contributing to hate crimes against the LGBTQ community in Portland?

KG: We live with this illusion in Portland that we are an incredibly diverse, inclusive, and liberal community. And though I love my hometown and know many amazing people here, I also think we have a responsibility to be completely honest with ourselves about how issues like racism, homophobia, classism, and sexism affect Portland as a whole and our LGBTQ community. For example, the Coalition of Communities of Color recently issued a report that offered a stark look at how toxic Multnomah County is for people of color. For many liberal, well-intended people in Portland, that report was a wake-up call on the inequities present in our community. And I think our collective insistence that “everything’s fine!” perpetuates hate crimes and inequities across communities.

PQ: What factors are similar between aggression perpetrated against the LGBTQ community and aggression perpetrated against other communities?

KG: Any act intended to make someone feel “less than” or undeserving of love and respect is an act of aggression in my mind.

Homophobia and transphobia, as well as other anti-LGBTQ sentiments, are codified in our current society and systematically perpetuated in our larger culture… pqmonthly.com

Photo courtesy of Kari Greene

I believe these structural inequalities and societal acceptance of anti-LGBTQ policies perpetuate aggression against our communities in unique ways.

I think all of us who have experienced structural, societal, or interpersonal violence can relate to one another on a fundamental level. Though different words and different tactics might be used across marginalized groups, we all know how it feels to have someone treat us less [well] than we deserve and I truly believe that violence that crosses these intersections of race, ethnicity, gender, class, and sexual orientation are rooted in the same place of power and domination.

PQ: How can members of the LGBTQ community — and the community at large — best respond to bias-related conflict individually?

KG: First and foremost: take a self-defense class! No, that’s not just a shameless plug for our free One With Heart self defense classes, but it’s something that I think all of us as global citizens need in our portfolio, so to speak…. Positive and affirming self-defense classes that raise awareness and focus on skill-building will not only impact the individual, but will decrease violence and deescalate conflicts on a community level.

PQ: Thinking on a philosophical level, what effects do hate crimes have upon those against whom they are perpetrated and the community at large?

KG: These acts of aggression have very real and tangible impacts on us as individuals and as a society. As LGBTQ people, we are often the subject of ridicule, derision, and hatred in the media, in politics, and in society at large. Seeing ourselves in the news as objects of ridicule and hatred, then hearing policy-makers debate whether we should be considered equal citizens can take its toll… As individuals and as communities, we must learn to reject those antiLGBTQ messages and remind ourselves and others of our worth and our value. In our self-defense trainings we remind people of the power of our voice — and we can use our voice to remind ourselves that we are strong, we are capable, we are smart, and kari greene page 24

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1946 – Three men are arrested in Lima, Ohio, as part of an antigay witch-hunt and required to provide a list of all known gays in Lima.

[GLAPN] 1963 – Colorado returns the right to vote to those convicted of sodomy. [queerhistory.blogspot.com] 1969 – Kansas becomes the first state to exempt heterosexuals from its sodomy law, making it exclusively applicable to gays. [GLAPN] 1972 – Hawaii becomes the fifth state to repeal its sodomy law.

[GLAPN] 1973 – The Gay Academic Forum is founded in New York to make academia more gay-friendly. [onthisgayday.blogspot.com] 1973 – Delaware repeals its sodomy law. [GLAPN] 1977 – South Dakota repeals its sodomy law. [GLAPN] 1993 – Hundreds of thousands gather in Washington, D.C., for the March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay & Bi Equal Rights & Liberation.

Featured guests include Melissa Etheridge, RuPaul, Urvashi Vaid, and Jesse Jackson. [OTGD] 1999 – A nail bomb planted by Neo-Nazi David Copeland explodes in London’s Admiral Duncan pub, killing 3 people and injuring about 70 others. [OTGD]

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2000 – LGBTQ rights supporters gather in Washington, D.C., for the Millennium March on Washington.

President Bill Clinton addresses the crowd, via video. [OTGD] 2007 – The first North American Outgames are held in Calgary. [QH] 2007 – The United Kingdom passes a ordinance banning discrimination based on sexual orientation in goods, facilities, and services. [OTGD] 2007 – New Hampshire approves same-sex domestic partnerships.

[OTGD] 2009 – Same-sex marriage is legalized in Iowa, Vermont, and Sweden.

[QH] pqmonthly.com

FEATURES

QUEER YOUTH FIND SAFE HAVENS

By Neil “Nikki” Heilpern PQ Monthly

Isolated queer youth find it scary trying to maintain a balance in the wild, white waters of social and educational life. How do the rest of us help make schools and the world a better place for these kids?

Things have changed a lot since the Stonewall riots in New York ushered in gay rights activism and a growing sense of gay pride. Yet, for children just becoming aware of their different oriPhoto by Julie Cortez, PQ Monthly entation, the loneliness and fear is still Two youth cut the ribbon at the April 13 opening celebration for the new SMYRC location on NE Sandy Blvd. in Portland. difficult to deal with. schools to teach peers about sexuality, gender, and HIV The Sexual Minorities Youth Recreissues. ation Center (SMYRC) is one of the Portland safe havens.

She still feels uncomfortable attending school, uses an “A lot are homeless, kicked out of their homes by families unaccepting of them being queer,” said Logan Lynn, Q Cen- online education program, and enjoys seeing “youth and ter’s public relations and innovations manager. “This becomes older people getting together, empowering each other.”

Last year she delivered a keynote speech about coming out a place to create chosen family.”

“We all have our horror stories and that is our drive to under a trans umbrella and conducted a workshop at the help this population,” Logan said, recalling being regularly Oregon Queer Youth Summit.

Fellow volunteer at both the summit and CAP, Kailer beaten up in school and lacking support from his “devout Ebert, 17, said his “horror stories were turned around as Christian Midwest family.”

SMYRC recently merged with the Q Center, where trained result of GLBT community involvement.”

He came out in his sophomore year, after a breakup with professionals lead support and social groups, and often take the show on the road to Beaverton, Hillsboro, and Sherwood a girlfriend, then developed feelings for a close male friend who came out as gay. for young people who can’t travel to Portland.

He was “harassed and naïve. Everyone knew,” leading to Harassment has expanded via social media developments like Twitter and Facebook, where cyber-bullying is “severe verbal bullying, and no one did anything about it.”

When his mother discovered him holding a ballpoint on the rise, noted Lynn. “But the flip side is that these are pen to a bloodied wrist, she became his stalwart supporter also tools we use to engage more youth.” and the two often went shopping at a Eugene mall, talking about his interest in boys and makeup.

Discovering uniqueness Ebert left the oppressive atmosphere of school in Eugene, Oliver Hanson, 17, became aware she was different at moved in with his father in Portland, and discovered a more age 13 before moving from Seattle to Portland. Residing in progressive atmosphere at Grant High School, where he is a a female body, Hanson realized she had a unique mascu- member of a gay-straight alliance (GSA) — one of numerous line-feminine blend of energies. School attendance didn’t such groups sprouting up in Oregon and SW Washington.

His GSA is planning a Day of Silence, “to bring attention to feel safe.

“It was hard to talk to teachers and others,” she said. “I the silence forced upon bullied queer youth, unable to speak out,” Ebert said. “We will organize a petition in the hall for all was afraid of what they would think.”

Hanson discovered SMYRC and the Q Center. “I met students, saying they support people who are queer.” more people who identified as I did, helping me get more Emphasizing community comfortable with myself.”

Part of the Teen to Teen education program This year’s Queer Youth Summit theme, “Intersecof the Cascade Aids Project (CAP), she visits high

tionality,” deals with ways social and cultural categories (gender, race, class, and other identification terms) contribute to systematic and social inequalities, according to Ernesto Domínguez, CAP youth technology specialist, who also helps plan the summit. Youngsters will speak or lead workshops at the May 12 event at Portland State University.

“Just because they are out doesn’t mean it is easier for them,” Domínguez told PQ Monthly, urging adults to become role models and mentors.

“A disproportionate number of the thousands of homeless youth in Portland are in the sexual minorities,” said Pippa Arend of Project Education Arts and Recreation (P: ear), where mentoring programs emphasize individual relationship building, to help youth “see themselves in a positive, constructive way as part of Portland’s vibrant community, and full of value, potential, and self worth.”

Are queer youth safer these days? “Life on the streets is never safe,” said Arend.

P:ear will celebrate its 10th anniversary with a May 12 fundraiser.

A queer youth, whose street name is Hybrid, told PQ Monthly he feels fairly safe because places like SMYRC and Outside In’s Queer Zone “try to protect everybody. They are perfect places to learn more about yourself.”

He’s been off the streets since last year, thanks to Outside In, which provides a safe haven for queer street kids. They hang out together, talk about their life challenges in group situations, and some are provided living quarters.

Intergenerational help Young clients of Outside-In’s Queer Zone sometimes get together with elders of Gay and Grey, sharing stories, giving mutual support and having inspirational moments.

Last summer, the queer youth were invited to the annual Gay and Grey Barbeque at the Friendly House Community Center in Northwest Portland. The elders also joined the younger set twice at their Outside In meeting room.

“Within a half hour of our first meeting, [the youth] trusted us to tell their stories,” senior Jo Hamilton said.

“It was astonishing,” her partner Sharon Messerschmidt said. “Most teenage kids don’t tell us old fogies personal things.”

Praising them, she noted, “You are fortunate for all the support systems that have developed in recent years.”

Queer youth in rural Clackamas County also have a safe haven, The Living Room, which meets at the Unitarian Unisafe havens page 11

GAY & GREY WELCOMES AGING BOOMERS WITH FOURTH ANNUAL EXPO

By Erin Rook PQ Monthly

As Gay & Grey prepares for its Fourth Annual Expo in May, the Friendly Housebased advocacy and education program for LGBTQ elders is also readying itself for growing ranks, thanks to an aging Baby Boomer generation.

The expo, the largest event of its kind in the nation, will feature resource and vendor booths, health screenings, entertainment, and workshops on a wide range of topics including sex after 60, travel and recreation, living well with HIV, end of life concerns and celebrations, and spirituality.

“This year’s expo will build on the good pqmonthly.com

work done last year when we saw a large increase in attendance and enjoyed Governor Kitzhaber’s Proclamation of Gay & Grey Day,” says Friendly House executive director Vaune Albanese. “The expo will bring together the gay, elder, and provider communities with the goal of improving services and housing opportunities that allow LGBT seniors to experience their golden years with joy and dignity.”

As many as 500 people are expected to attend the expo and screening of “Gen Silent” — a documentary about LGBTQ elders, according to Martha Wright, marketing and communications coordinator for Friendly House.

That number is large for an event of

this type, but pales in comparison to the 10,000 LGBTQ seniors Wright estimates live in Portland. Nationally, she says, conservative estimates place that population at 3 million. That number is expected to grow to 5 million within the decade.

“To me, the statistic of the aging population kind of boggles the mind,” Wright says.

“The average person has not really taken the time to really grasp what that means.”

What it means is that the need for LGBTQ-friendly senior services is only going to increase. When it comes to the allimportant issue of housing, there’s a fair amount of work to be done.

A recent Lewis and Clark survey asked the management of long-term care facili-

ties to indicate how prepared they are for a growing LGBTQ population. The results were not encouraging. Most facilities are not ready, Wright says.

“Working directly with residential communities, senior housing facilities, and long-term care agencies it very important,” says Laruren Fontanarosa, program coordinator for Gay & Grey. “We hear directly from LGBT older adults time and time again the fear and uncertainty they have when it comes to moving out of their home or access care-giving services.”

Fortunately, Gay & Grey has in its arsenal an educational program shown by a recent University of Portland study Gay & Grey page 30

April/May 2012 •

FEATURES

CLOSING THE GAP: ADDRESSING LGBTQ HEALTH DISPARITIES FROM BOTH SIDES

By Erin Rook PQ Monthly

Going to the doctor makes most people uncomfortable, but for LGBTQ folks, that anxiety is heightened by a fear of ignorance, discrimination, and denial of care.

These fears are not unfounded.

At the recent Meaningful Care Conference, hosted by the LGBTQ Heath Coalition of the Columbia-Willamette, Multnomah County Commissioner Deborah Kafoury explained why the conference is so important.

Photos by Xilia Faye, PQ Monthly “LGBTQ people are often reluc- (Left) Shane Snowdon, director of the UCSF Center for LGBT Health and Equity, delivered a lively keynote speech on the progress made in LGBT equality and the challenges left to overcome. (Right) Nearly 400 health providtant to seek out health care and come ers and advocates attended the day-long Meaningful Care Conference to learn more about LGBTQ health issues. out to providers,” Kafoury said in her “He says I have chlamydia, treats me for we intend to support LGBTQ health equity. on the phone, consider calling local health opening remarks. “LGBTQ people face documented structural, financial, and chlamydia. I have to go back to my wife, We are also involved in Oregon Health organization such as Outside In and CAP for cultural barriers to access healthcare ser- who I’m supposed to be monogamous with reform and have representatives sitting on referrals or checking with your healthcare and say I have chlamydia. That’s what broke work groups at the Oregon Health Author- network to see which providers self-idenvices.”

The only conference of its kind in the our marriage up,” Evans said. “But it was ity to ensure LGBTQ concerns are not over- tify as LGBTQ-friendly.

For example, the Trans Clinic has closed its Northwest, the Meaningful Care Confer- actually a [urinary tract infection]. It just looked in the health reform process.”

While healthcare professionals are waiting list due to high demand, but Cruz is ence offers a diverse range of workshops speaks to the presumption he made about increasingly educating themselves about still able to help people find care elsewhere. intended to give healthcare providers and me being a black man and diseased.”

Discrimination by healthcare profes- the needs of their LGBTQ patients, indi“Much of the work that I do at the Trans advocates the skills to provide culturally sionals doesn’t just lead to mistreatment viduals also have a responsibility to speak Clinic at Outside In is help people with refercompetent care for LGBTQ people.

Offerings include such diverse topics as of LGBTQ folks, it sometimes leads to no up and be honest about their experiences, rals to providers within their insurance network that have experience with trans folks,” “Supporting Survivors of Domestic & Sexual treatment at all. According to the National needs, and desires.

PQ Monthly asked a handful of queer- Cruz says. “At the request of clients who’ve Violence in LGBT & Queer Communities of Transgender Discrimination Survey, 19 perColor,” “Organizing to Improve the Health cent of respondents were actually refused identified healthcare professionals and contacted me, I’ve also contacted provider of Rural LGBTQ Individuals,” “Best Prac- care due to their trans identity or gender advocates for their advice on identifying offices and directed them to professional tices for Supporting Transgender Children presentation. And 28 percent postponed LGBTQ-friendly providers, overcoming bar- resources on primary care for transgender and Their Families in Social Services and medical care in an effort to avoid mistreat- riers to care, and learning to advocate for patients and let them know that they would Health Care,” and “Substance Use and the ment. A full half of those surveyed said that our own healthcare needs. Here’s what they be having a new client who is transgender had to teach their medical providers about had to say. coming to them for primary care.”

LGBTQ Community.

“I have people who have contacted But before participants delved into the transgender care.

DO YOUR HOMEWORK me from different parts of Oregon that material, a panel of LGBTQ healthcare conWHAT’S A QUEER TO DO? I’ve been able to refer to a provider that sumers provided context by sharing the Most LGBTQ folks don’t have the privi- is closer to them that has experience with challenges they have faced in receiving First, find hope in the fact that nearly 400 lege of being able to draw a provider’s name trans patients,” he adds. appropriate, respectful care.

If you can’t get a referral, take matters The first panelist, John Motter, related providers and advocates showed up to the from a hat and expect quality care. But the ignorance and discrimination he has conference to get educated on how to better healthcare needn’t be left to the luck of the into your own hands. Interview providers draw. Queer-savvy providers are out there, over the phone to make sure they can profaced as an HIV-positive gay man in recov- serve their LGBTQ patients/clients.

The next conference will be during you just need to know where to look. vide the care you need. ery. He also encouraged audience mem“For most people, networking and asking “Here’s [a question to ask]: Do you have bers by explaining that providing quality National LGBTQ Health Equality Week in care often has more to do with a provider’s 2014. In the meantime, the LGBTQ Heath friends is fairly easy,” says José Cruz, R.N., experience working with people like me?

Coalition of the Columbia-Willamette is who works with the Trans Clinic at Outside Explain!” suggest LGBTQ health providers approach than level of knowledge.

“I don’t expect the medical profession working toward its three primary goals: sup- In. “I would say start there; ask friends who and advocates Wendy and Carol Blenning (see profile on page 14). to know everything about how to treat me, porting LGBTQ cultural competency, rais- they recommend.”

But what if your friends’ providers are In addition to researching providers, but how to treat me with respect,” Motter ing awareness about health disparities, and out of network or out of your budget? Or brush up on your knowledge of the health said. “I’m never offended when they need advocating for health equality.

“We are currently working to dissemi- you don’t know anyone with your particu- issues you currently have or are at increased to ask me questions, only offended when nate action sheets outlining LGBTQ health lar health needs? risk for, as well as any screenings you should they make assumptions.”

“My advice would be to go online,” says be getting. That way, you’ll know whether or Those assumptions can have serious disparities in Oregon using Oregon-specific consequences. For panelist Maurice Evans, data,” says coalition coordinator Dayna Ernesto Domínguez, youth technology spe- not you’re getting the care you need.

Not sure what those health issues are? a black bisexual man who is also HIV-pos- Morrison. “These action sheets will reflect cialist at Cascade AIDS Project. The webitive and in recovery, they may well have the diversity of the health concerns and sites for Resources PDX, the Gay and Les- The Gay and Lesbian Medical Association community demographics. The first sheet bian Medical Association, and the World has handy guides on its website outlining ended his marriage.

While living in Texas, his wife (from focuses on LGBTQ community elders, and Professional Association for Transgender the top 10 issues gay men, lesbians, and whom he has been estranged for eight will be followed by action sheets on chronic Health all offer referrals for LGBTQ-friendly trans folks should discuss with their provider. While patients are not expected to be years) developed an infection as a result of health conditions, substance abuse and providers (see sidebar for more details).

When searching online, it’s wise to call to medical experts, the more you know about a latex allergy. That infection was passed mental health challenges, and other comon to Evans, who then went to the doctor munity specific concerns in preparation for confirm that the provider is still practicing your healthcare needs, the better you can the 2013 Oregon legislative sessions, where and accepting new patients. While you’re for treatment. lgbtq health page 11 10 • April/May 2012

pqmonthly.com

FEATURES

lgbtq health Continued from page 10

assert them.

“These are great tools for LGBTQ folks to educate and empower themselves before going in to see a medical provider,” Domínguez says.

But that doesn’t mean LGBTQ folks should expect to play the role of teacher.

“You as a client/patient should never be expected to provide training for your provider on how to handle your medical treatment,” Cruz says. “Of course, you should be an active part of your treatment but this doesn’t mean providing medical training for your provider.”

BE HONEST Coming out to a stranger while wearing a paper “gown” can be awkward at best. But LGBTQ providers and advocates seem to agree that honesty is the best policy, as long as it doesn’t put you in harms way.

“Any time that your sexual orientation or gender identity might affect the care you need or your risk for various things, I would recommend that you share as much information as you feel comfortable,” Dominguez says. “For a provider to diagnose/treat you effectively they have to know as much about you as possible.”

On the other hand, there are times your provider probably doesn’t need to know your sexual orientation or gender identity. This is especially true when seeing a specialist who may have less need for that information than a primary care provider.

“The decision comes down to client comfort and whether or not the disclosure is necessary for medical care,” Cruz says. “For example, when I dislocated my knee, I didn’t feel it was necessary to disclose trans status to urgent care, but if I was going to a urinary specialist, I would probably want the specialist to know ahead of time.”

But how exactly do you come out to your provider, especially if they don’t ask about your gender or sexual identity? Cruz recommends keeping it simple and nonchalant.

“I’ll just say something like, ‘So before we get started, I just want you to know that I’m a transmale.’

My philosophy is to say it in a way that normalizes trans status as just another part of a person’s history, a part of who they are,” Cruz says. “A healthcare provider who is competent shouldn’t bat an eye at this. The best response I’ve gotten when I’ve done this is, ‘Thanks for letting me know,’ and then we moved on to my reason for being in the office.”

And even when it’s relevant, there are lines of questioning you should never have to field. Don’t be afraid to ask your provider why they pqmonthly.com

need to know what they are asking.

If it’s a matter of voyeuristic curiosity, encourage them to do research on their own time. After all, you’re paying them for their time, not the other way around.

ASSERT YOUR NEEDS Of course, coming out isn’t a guarantee that your provider will offer the necessary tests and screenings, especially if they don’t normally treat LGBTQ folks. In order to combat misinformation (such as the all-too-common belief that STDs like HPV can’t be spread between women or trans hormone therapy must be provided by an endocrinologist) be upfront about your needs and prepared to back them up.

This means being clear about the words you want the provider to use in reference to you and your parts and the tests you’d like done.

“If you are unsure of the level of competency of your provider and you are going in for an STD checkup, I might suggest you go in with a list of what procedures you want done,” Domínguez says. “A provider may just assume that you need say, a test for urethral gonorrhea or chlamydia because that is the standard for most heterosexual men but they may fail to give you a test for these same diseases in your throat or rectum because they don’t know the full extent of your sexuality or sexual behaviors.”

Being assertive means not only being upfront about your needs, but being clear when they aren’t being met. No one deserves to put up with mistreatment from a healthcare provider.

“You have the right to safe, competent, sensitive medical care,” Cruz says. “If your provider or other staff in the office says something or treats you in a way that you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to say something. It’s ok to not address it in the moment if it feels too intense. You can leave the office, write a letter to the doctor, make a phone call later, [or] ask for an additional face-to-face appointment where you address your concerns. If you feel that you’re not getting your needs met, say something.”

SPREAD THE WORD When you find a healthcare provider that gets you, pay it forward.

“I’d encourage folks to tell their providers who they think are great and LGBTQ-competent, but may not be in one of these directories or advertising in gay-friendly media, to get the word out there about their practices,” Domínguez says. “There are a lot of LGBTQ folks in the Portland area who need health care and are looking for providers to serve them.”

RESOURCES AND REFERRALS

Cascade AIDS Project CAP provides HIV services, housing, education and advocacy in Oregon and Southwest Washington. www.cascadeaids.org 503-278-3871 Gay & Lesbian Medical Association GLMA works to ensure equality in health care for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals and health care providers. www.glma.org 202-600-8037 LGBTQ Health Coalition of the Columbia-Willamette The Coalition hosts the Meaningful Care Conference and is putting together a directory of providers who have attended LGBTQ-specific care trainings.

503-238-5203 x311 www.oregonlgbtqhealth.org Multnomah County Health Department Multnomah County has seven locations providing family healthcare to underserved, low-income, and uninsured county residents.

503-988-5558 www.web.multco.us/health Oregon Information and Referral Line Dial 211

Oregon HIV/STD hotline Open 24-hours and located in CAP’s offices.

800-777-2437 Outside In Trans Clinic The Trans Clinic provides slidingscale acute health care, family planning, HIV/STD testing, and hormone therapy for trans, genderqueer, queer, and questioning people ages 18+ with no insurance. The waiting list is currently closed, but the clinic still offers resources and referrals.

503-535-3828 (message line checked twice a week) www.outsidein.com Portland Gay Yellow Pages 503-230-7701

www.pdxgayyellowpages.com Quest Center for Integrative Health The Quest Center offers a diverse range of health services that affirm LGBTQ and HIV-positive folks.

503.238.5203 www.quest-center.org Resources PDX This directory provides both medical and non-medical resources for trans and queer folks. www.resourcespdx.com

Sexual Minority Providers Alliance The SMPA is an informal directory of Portland-area psychotherapists, counselors, and spiritual directors dedicated to the providing culturally-competent care to LGBTQ folks. www.glbtcounseling.com TransActive TransActive provides affirming counseling and case management services to trans and gender nonconforming children and youth and their families.

503-252-3000 www.transactiveonline.org Umbrella Community Counseling Project The project provides low-cost mental health services in the Portland Metro LGBTQ community.

503-872-9664 x0 www.smyrc.org World Professional Association for Transgender Health WPATH is an international multidisciplinary professional association that promotes evidence based care, education, research, advocacy, public policy and respect in transgender health. www.wpath.org

Did we forget an important resource? Email erin@pqmonthly.com and we’ll add it to the website.

safe havens Continued from page

versalist Church in Oregon City.

“Youth first come in shy, not knowing what to expect,” said youth program coordinator Brenda Myers. “They open up to one person, realize they can trust that one person, then open to others and realize this is an environment where they can be themselves and work on developing their community and leadership skills.”

She and others visit several high school gay-straight alliances and counselors of younger queer youth in middle schools.

A rural sanctuary Kelsi Davis, 16, a junior at Molalla High School, called The Living Room “a sanctuary, one of the only places I could feel safe, part of a group.”

Although she has a very sup-

portive mother, Davis described bullying, being called “dyke” in derogatory tones, “getting pushed into lockers, having stuff thrown at me, and the scariest glares the boys give me, like I’m a monster.”

“It is still intimidating to know how many people are so against the LGBTQ community,” she said.

“When they tease me, the teachers just laugh it off like it is no big deal.”

Yet queer youth persevere, learn to be true to themselves, educate ot hers, a nd ma rch in Pride parades along with allies like PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, and transgender people).

The picture is getting better.

To get it as rosy as we want, LGBTQ activists continue the good fight, always looking for ways to expand the consciousness of the world to make it a safer place for queer youth who just want to be accepted for who they are.

For more information on organizations and events listed in this story, and volunteering opportunities for adults, contact the following: SMYRC 2406 NE Sandy Blvd. (#12 bus line). www.smyrc.org • logan@pdxqcenter.org Queer Youth Summit: www.oregonsafeschools.org/oqys/index. html) and www.chatpdx.org/oqys For volunteer information call any organization or contact Ernesto Domínguez at edominguez@cascadeaids. org or 503-278-3871.

Purchase tickets to P:ear’s fundraiser at Leftbank Annex http://pearmentor.org/) Outside-In’s Queer Zone Outside In development and communications director Kelly Anderson, 503-535-3867 The Living Room www.thelivingroomyouth.org Brenda Myers, youth program coordinator, 503-901-5971 Ryan Stabler, for volunteers, rjstabler@gmail.com

April/May 2012 • 11

ARTS & CULTURE FEATURES

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Thursday, April 26, 2012 . 11:30am – 1pm Oregon Convention Center, Portland Ballroom Tickets - $75 each For more information, call 503-222-6151 x106 or visit www.basicrights.org 12 • April/May 2012

pqmonthly.com

SPORTS

FROM BALLS TO PADDLES AND BACK TO BALLS — IT’S A BIG, GAY, SPORTY SPRING

The Amazon Dragons Paddling Club are set to defend their championship title at this year’s Rose Festival.

By Daniel Borgen PQ Monthly

Did you know, dear readers, there are some among us who shun the dark recesses of dive bars and queer dance parties in favor of early rises and regular weekend practices?

Their idea of health and fitness isn’t the token half hour of cardio at the neighborhood gymnasium. They’re in bed before midnight, rise with the sun (or dark, damp clouds).

They are the unsung athletes who simply aren’t the same level of press whore as their nighttime counterparts, so all that sporting goes down with little fanfare.

Well, PQ is set to change all that with our first in a series of athletic-inspired features. And in lieu of the same boring details about what’s going on and how to get involved, we’ve gone to the participants themselves, probing them, determined to figure out what makes them tick (and perhaps glean a bit of their inspiration).

Here goes.

“Come play with my balls and bat!” That’s Jose Rivas’ best recruiting pitch — he’s on the Bella Boys, the gay softball team that practices every Sunday morning at 9 a.m. You read that right. If weather prevents practicing, these boys still get together. (That’s dedication!)

“If we’re unable to play, we all go to breakfast — say Elmer’s in Delta Park,” Rivas explains. “In walks 12 gays in tight pants; we all hug and make plans as we leave and you can just see the other patrons staring at us and thinking, ‘I think they’re gay, but they play sports?! I don’t get it.’”

“I’m part of the Bellas because I love playing sports,” he adds. “Yes, it helps that I’m playing with other gays and allies, so I feel safe to express myself in ways I wasn’t able to on straight leagues, like in my fraternity or in high school.

Also, the Bellas are a competitive team. I don’t like to lose so I will do anything to win.” Anything, Rivas?

His real recruiting pitch: “It’s a great way to be active and meet great people who share the same interests.” Hmm, we liked the balls and the bat better.

OK, softball — you saw that one coming. How about this rather unexpected morsel: dragon boating. In our midst we have the proud winners of last year’s Women’s A Division Rose Festival competition, the Amazon Dragons Paddling Club. It’s just paddling, how hard can it be, right? Wrong.

These ladies practice long, hard hours and meet throughout the week — starting in January.

“Our season is a long one and it takes a great deal of pqmonthly.com

Photo courtesy of the Amazon Dragons

commitment,” Alicia Reynolds tells us. “We begin in Jan- “Then, I didn’t know I was gay, but I did know I felt extremely uary dry-land conditioning, essentially circuit training in uncomfortable with the comments made by some of my a local gym. By late-February/first of March, we begin our teammates, and worst of all, my coach. The atmosphere water practices. We practice three days a week all the way became too negative and I decided to quit.” through mid-October. Yes, we’re out there in the snow, wind, Obviously the story doesn’t end there. “Fast-forward and rain. We practice so we can be competitive team and another 10 years — I moved to Portland and met my good take home medals at races.” friend, Weston Pratt.” (DJ Lunch “We participate in six to eight Lady!) races a season; the races take place Noting Pratt’s particularly coerin Oregon, California, Washingcive powers, Rodríguez continues: “I ton, and British Columbia,” Reyndecided to join the Portland NetRipolds continues. “I’m a part of the pers. And I’m not going to lie, at first Amazon Dragons Paddling Club I thought it might just be a great way because the organization’s mission to meet some cute guys. Indeed, I speaks to my passion and interest. did, but I also met some amazing Our mission is to provide lesbians friends and, most importantly, rediswith camaraderie, fitness, and physcovered my love for soccer.” ical strength through competitive Rodríguez hasn’t just rediscovracing. We convey positive lesbian ered his love for the game, he’s visibility through competition, perdetermined to share that love with sonal integrity, community service, others. and good sportsmanship. It’s here “As current NetRippers chair, that many find community, a sense I want to share my passion and of family, and enjoy challenging ourPhoto courtesy of Gabrero Photography love for soccer with as many memselves while being a part of some- Sammy Rodríguez, NetRippers chair, takes a break from the on-the- bers of the LGBTQ community as thing bigger than any one of us.” possible,” he says. “I want people pitch action.

You can watch the Amazons who’ve experienced homophobia defend their title at some upcoming local races — partic- in past sports environments to feel safe, comfortable, ularly during the Rose Festival June 9 and 10. and accepted.”

So we’ve had some fun (Rivas’ balls and bats), witnessed And, according to Rodríguez, it doesn’t matter “if you’ve some serious commitment (lesbians paddling through never touched a ball or you have plenty of ball-touching all the elements). Now, naturally, we move on to passion experience.”

— and journey. We had a feeling this sports bug ran deep, And it doesn’t matter your skill level; NetRippers will and we found our proof when we talked to Sammy Rodrí- help you out, or sit back and watch you show off. guez, chair of Portland’s NetRippers, the city’s lone LGBTQ Speaking of watching, how about heading out and soccer team. supporting your queer brothers and sisters this sporting “There are few things in life that come close to my love season? Cheer them on, scope them out, whatever your for soccer,” Rodríguez explains. “I blame my obsession on pleasure. Check Facebook for more information on softmy parents. To this day, my mom will not miss a Chivas ball, dragon boating, and soccer. match, not even for her own son’s kindergarten graduation. True story. When my mom was pregnant with me, I Never fear, this is just the first of many sporty stories. If was told that I kicked her uterus non-stop. That’s how my you didn’t see your team or your sport here, it’s probably in dad, who always wanted a soccer-playing son, knew I’d be the pipeline; we have everyone from the Rose City Rollers to his one and only soccer player.” the Portland Shockwave coming up, in print and on our blog.

“Fast-forward 14 years and I made my high school team, We’ll also cover non-team-oriented sportage. Want to make but found myself in homophobic predicaments,” he recalls. sure you’re covered? Email Daniel@PQMonthly.com.

April/May 2012 • 13

FEATURES

THE DOCTOR IS OUT: WENDY AND CAROL BLENNING WORK TOGETHER TO ADVOCATE FOR LGBTQ HEALTH

By Erin Rook PQ Monthly

Photo courtesy of the Blennings

Wendy and Carol Blenning take their brand new puppy, Kai, to the vet.

It’s not uncommon for healthcare professionals to say they chose their line of work “to help people.” For many, this desire is fulfilled by simply showing up for work and providing patient/client care. Others, recognizing the health disparities faced by marginalized populations, step up to the challenge of changing the entire system.

Partners Wendy and Carol Blenning have made it their life’s work to bring a social justice sensibility to their respective careers as a licensed clinical social worker and family practice medical doctor.

“I think it’s a social justice issue,” says Carol, 49, a physician at OHSU’s Richmond Clinic. “I feel like everybody has a right to have respectful quality care.”

Wendy, 55, is a licensed clinical social worker who recently closed her private practice in order to find a work situation that is “more relational.” Like Carol, she considers her work a form of activism — something that’s been in her blood since childhood.

“My activism started when I was quite young,” Wendy, 55, says. “When school starts on the most holy day of the Jewish year, you quickly learn the personal is political.”

Though she’s not currently practicing social work, she provides vital support to Carol’s advocacy efforts, drawing on a long history of working with and advocating for underserved communities, including abuse survivors, people of color, HIV-positive clients, and LGBTQ individuals.

“We consult a lot together,” Wendy says, adding that patient confidentiality is always maintained. “I know more about the trans stuff; I’ve been doing it longer. I give Carol ideas about dealing with patients, the emotional components.”

That said, Carol is no stranger to providing care for underserved communities. She has primarily worked with folks on the margins, including HIV-positive, Latino, undocumented, and queer and trans patients.

“In my family we were always encouraged to help people out,” Carol says. Her father’s sister died of leukemia when Carol was 13, inspiring her to go into medicine. She considered cancer research and pediatrics, but ultimately decided to go where she could help the broadest range of people.

“I didn’t want to exclude anybody, so went into family medicine,” Carol says. “It’s definitely right for me. I’m a broad generalist thinker.”

Far from excluding anyone, Carol is going above and beyond to make sure everyone is included. In addition to providing primary care for her clinic patients, Carol regularly holds trainings and workshops on providing culturally-competent care for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and especially transgender individuals.

Thanks in part to Wendy’s encouragement, Carol now gives an annual two-hour talk on LGBTQ issues to second year medical students at OHSU, regularly presents at the Meaningful Care Conference, and provides extra-curricular training for students and colleagues working at the Richmond Clinic. the blennings page 24

SEVEN STAR ACUPUNCTURE AND APOTHECARY EMPHASIZES ACCESSIBLE HEALING

By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

Aisha Madrone believes that our most difficult experiences can be gifts. As a practitioner of Chinese medicine, she’s experienced this for herself; and as the owner of Seven Star Acupuncture and Apothecary in SE Port-

A patient receives acupuncture at Seven Star. land, she and her fellow practitioners see it every day in the lives of their patients.

Madrone’s own journey to being a healer started with healing of her own. Madrone moved to Portland in her youth and quickly went down some “very dark alleys” of the city’s lesbian scene. Once she realized the toll that her lifestyle was taking upon 14 • April/May 2012

her emotional and physical health, she embarked upon a complete overhaul of her habits — resulting both in a healing of long-standing health issues and an awakening to her true calling as a healer. She chose to pursue an MA in Chinese Medicine from the Oregon College of Oriental Medicine.

“When I graduated,” she explained, “I knew I had to open a clinic.

There was no question about it. … I wanted to do something that would both give back to the community and provide [myself and the friends I made at OCOM] a place to practice.”

The result: Seven Star, which offers a variety of Chinese and Western healing modalities including acupuncture, herbal medicine, cupping, dietary consultations, and massage.

Why Chinese medicine?

Photo by Xilia Faye “Western medicine has lots of great care for emergencies and catastrophic health issues,” Madrone explains.

“However, many of their methods are very invasive, and there’s often a longer healing time from some of the procedures than there is for the actual disease. Chinese medicine is much more subtle and gentle as it brings the body back to a state of health.”

Chinese medicine also approaches the

patient in a holistic way; as health issues are engaged in treatment, low-level chronic conditions such as insomnia or depression that patients may have simply learned to live with can improve or resolve.

Seven Star operates on a sliding-scale fee structure, enabling all patients to access the treatments as often as needed. This stems in part from Madrone’s dedication to the traditional Chinese model of clinical practice, which involves patients being treated in a group setting. While private treatment rooms are available, Madrone agrees with many patients that the group treatments often maximize effectiveness.“There’s a bigger healing energy in the [group treatment] room that people can tap into,” she explains.

While Seven Star is open to all people, they are a very queer clinic — over half of their practitioners and a large segment of their patients are LGBTQ-identified.

“When I opened the clinic, I especially wanted to reach out to my community. …

Since most everyone has physical burdens, it’s nice [for queer patients] to come to a clinic whose main presence is queer,” she says, “so we are able to focus on the individual and their issues, rather than waste a lot of time trying to establish whether it’s a safe place.”

Madrone also points out that queer people often face distinctive challenges that can be helped with Chinese medicine.

“Regardless of our identity we all have bodies, we all have blood, we all get sick,”

she says. “… However, queer people often experience a lot of self-deprecation and internalized homophobia. It’s critical to find a place of wholeness, both through treatments and self-care. … Chinese medicine offers lots of practical things that we can do to keep balance in our lives.”

As a queer-owned community-based business in a very tough economic time, Seven Star goes through many of the same struggles as other individuals and businesses in our city. However, Madrone is optimistic that the struggle, be it Seven Star’s or that of her patients, is worth it for the individual and for the community.

“We have to use the negative to bring about great change in ourselves,” she insists.

“When people are feeling at their best, feeling whole, and understanding what wholeness feels like inside themselves, it’s easier to see where they’re lacking that wholeness in their community, and it can motivate them to work towards manifesting it for themselves and others around them.”

This is certainly true for Madrone, and for the many patients for whom Seven Star has served as an outpost on their healing journey.

Seven Star Acupuncture and Apothecary is located at 436 SE 12th Ave. in Portland.

For more information or to book an appointment, call 503-236-6833 or check out www. sevenstarpdx.com/. pqmonthly.com

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April/May 2012 • 15

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Join us for Dining Out for Life on Thursday, April 26, and between 20% and 30% of your bill will be donated to the Partnership Project and Ecumenical Ministries of Oregon’s HIV Day Center to provide services for people living with HIV/AIDS in the Portland metro area.

For more information, including a complete list of restaurants, visit www.diningoutforlife.com/Portland

Queering body image

By Wyatt Riot PQ Monthly

We live in a body image-obsessed society. Everywhere we look there are advertisements telling us that our bodies are wrong.

You need to lose weight, gain muscle, get shorter/taller, and basically stop looking like you and start looking like someone else better than you could ever be. No matter what we look like, we’re doing it wrong. This is what the diet industry and most of our society want us to think anyway.

In our society we’re taught that only specific types of bodies are ones that should be accepted. Why do we only see one type as a “healthy” body? When you look at someone you don’t know what type of health they’re in. All you see is a body. Why are we so quick to assume? Why does society teach us that some specific body types are a healthier body? We’re taught early on that it’s better to shame one’s body and be told we could be better, more pretty, more handsome, more desired — if only we just changed our weight or looked a little bit more like “the perfect body.”

When I did a Google search on “the perfect body,” my results came up with thousands of images of white, thin, and hairless bodies. Don’t you think if we lived in a world where everyone looked the same we’d live in a boring world?

If I stand up straight I’m about 5’9.”

And my weight? Well, I have no idea what I weigh, nor do I really care. Why should I? It’s just a number. Weight doesn’t equal health or wellness, it doesn’t really mean anything. It’s a number that people obsess

about because somebody else told them it was wrong and that you should watch it.

What does this obsession do? Nothing. It fills us with negativity — something none of us need any more of in our lives.

I haven’t always felt this positively about my body. As a fat, queer, and trans person, I have lots of hang-ups about what my body is supposed to look like. It’s hard not to obsess about it. I try to surround myself with support networks of body-positive people.

In Portland we’re really lucky to have all the resources we have. Fat Fancy (located at 1013 SW Morrison) is a radical fat fashion boutique. It has lots of clothes (for all genders), shoes, body-positive zines, and it’s owned by two queer women. During the summer months we’ve got Chunky Dunk (www.chunkydunk.org) which is SHAMEFREE swimming for everyBODY. We also have Asha Integrative Wellness (www. ashaintegrativewellness.com), which is dedicated to being a body-positive health and wellness center located on NE Broadway. We’ve got more but, this column can only hold so much!

Instead of spending our time feeling sorry for ourselves, making excuses for the actions we do or don’t do, making up reasons so we can treat ourselves to a delicious dessert, or comparing ourselves to others, we could turn this around and just spend a little more of our time patting ourselves on the back, looking in the mirror, and telling ourselves that we are loved, valued, beautiful, handsome, or whatever words make us feel good.

By doing this, we could create a more healthy and happy body image in our society.

Health shouldn’t be about what someone else thinks you should do. Health should be about what makes you feel good. What do you feel passionate about? What makes your heart swell with love and joy? Instead of filling ourselves with all of this hate and negativity, we can move in the world with our passion. Let’s stop the nonconsensual beating up we’re doing to ourselves and learn to be our own lovers and treat ourselves as such. As queer people we’ve got enough hate on our plates; let’s start serving ourselves up more love.

Let’s work together and make a new world where we realize health can come in every size and shape. I hope we can all learn to take better care of ourselves and our bodies and teach others why hating your body is not good for your health or soul.

Let’s teach others by example. Let’s teach all the generations that loving yourself is so much more important than harming your body with negativity.

Let’s stop making excuses and start treating ourselves like the wonderful people we are. We deserve it.

Wyatt Riot is a white, queer, trans person living, loving, and working hard in Portland, Oregon. He can be found at school, doing some type of sex/kink education, or eating delicious foods. Reach him at fagtastic@gmail.com.

16 • April/May 2012

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April/May 2012 • 17

PERSPECTIVES

Opening Night WISH ME AWAY Chely Wright scheduled to attend

18 • April/May 2012

Closing Night VITO

Director Jeffrey

Schwarz

scheduled to attend

pqmonthly.com

FEATURES

FROM WATER TO MISSISSIPPI TO SALEM THE JOURNEY (SO FAR) OF KENDALL CLAWSON

Photo by Xilia Faye, PQ Monthly

Kendall Clawson has transitioned from executive director to the executive branch.

By Daniel Borgen PQ Monthly

It’s a rare sunny spring Saturday morning, and Kendall Clawson sips coffee inside Albina Press, mere steps away from her former digs, Q Center. It’s a fitting frame for her, close to her roots, her home, and in the neighborhood she loves dearly. Even on this particular weekend morning, which should be a day off, one for relaxing, Kendall is high energy — almost antsy, the unique juxtaposition of moxie and ease that has become her trademark.

Any conversation about journeys must, of course, start with Q. For most of our recent history and memory, Kendall’s name was synonymous with the center, an integral part of the movement and vision that took an idea, briefly housed it on Water Avenue, and eventually parked it in its own building on Mississippi. When pressed to offer specifics about her proudest accomplishments there, she — naturally — defers to the bigger picture.

“For me, it’s just the fact that Q Center exists. It’s not about me,” she says. “I can’t say that enough. It was this great moment in time when a group of people came together to address a very specific need. I had a role — among many roles — in helping address that need. That part is the biggest takeaway for me. Yes, I gained professional skills and relationships, but I also learned what it means to work toward something that makes things better for everyone.

“We didn’t have a center, a home base, yet this extraordinary group of people came together and declared, ‘This is what we want, what we need.’ I got to be a part of that instead of just doing something solo. Q Center was something I needed — to be a part of something bigger than myself.”

While most think Kendall went right from Q Center to Salem — and, technically, she did — she had an alternate route in mind. (Hint: that plan wasn’t to become Governor pqmonthly.com

John Kitzhaber’s director of executive appointments.)

“What most people didn’t realize is that I was already planning on leaving Q,” Kendall explains. “It wasn’t public knowledge yet, but I accepted a position with a national organization and I was figuring out how I was going to put that out there.”

Then fate and opportunity came knocking, in the form of a gentle nudging from a close friend and ally, Gwenn Baldwin, who surprised Kendall with one particular phone call.

“Gwenn was my first board chair at Q, and she’s really a mentor to me,” Kendall says. “In my leadership role, she was one of the few who could close the door and get real with me. She’s one of those trusted allies who gets me — who you hope and pray comes along in your life, a person whose instincts you trust until the end.

“At the time, she talked me up to the governor-elect’s transition team. Then she called me and said, ‘Some people are talking about you in the governor’s office.’” Kendall pauses, laughs, and admits her first instinct was to say, “Oh my, what did I do? Should I start by apologizing?”

And that’s part of the beauty of Kendall; few ever wonder what’s on her mind. She took that characteristic — one might call it a philosophy — to an interview with her new boss.

“I had this opportunity to sit with this man who’d done the job before, who was coming back for another round because he was in a different place. He’s really a visionary in terms of the way he looks at things, the way he describes them. It was all very exciting,” she recalls. “In addition to all this awe and excitement, intellectually I understood what he wanted to accomplish and I wanted to be a part of it.”

But, right then and there, Kendall did something surprising. She gave the then governor-elect the chance to not hire her.

“We were very frank and I said things people would probably think I was crazy to say to the next governor. I told him, ‘I’ve heard this before. If you’re real about it, I’m there. But I’m also in a position where I could stay where I am and be happy. I could take this other position and be happy. I have to know you’re really intending to do this.’”

The rest, of course, is history. “I had that moment similar to what I felt when I interviewed for Q Center,” Kendall remembers. “It wasn’t ‘I’d like to do this,’ it was ‘I need to do this.’”

Presently, Kendall serves not only as director of executive appointments (yes, she does get calls from people asking to make appointments with the governor), but also in a newer, secondary role as arts and culture policy advisor.

She traces her passion for politics back through college to her family’s dining room.

“My family is very political,” she says. “My dad would have us read the newspaper and we’d talk about politics at the dinner table.”

This, too, sticks with her today: “My parents raised me to believe you can do anything you want, you just have to remember who you are.”

Take the experience, passion, and background, add a dash of comfort — and you’ve got a recipe for something special. Kendall recognizes she’s lucky she’s in a position that comes naturally.

“I’m good at helping connect people, so it’s kind of fun,” she says. “Because I was in nonprofits for so long, I get that these organizations function because of their boards of directors. It’s the same way for the state [boards].”

In terms of the nuts and bolts of her job, the governor has 260 boards and commissions that, by law, he makes appointments to. In total, that involves about 2,300 people.

“It’s this incredible opportunity for citizen engagement, to have your hand on the wheel in terms of how the state is driven,” Kendall explains. And, she adds, the governor remains committed to citizen governance.

“The average citizen is helping make decisions about the way in which we’re running the state. My job — it’s like being a headhunter for finding great volunteers. If I could say it without getting sued, I’d say, ‘There’s a board for that.’”

And from health care to education, business to the arts — there are myriad ways for people to participate.

Kendall also has the opportunity to marry the exceptional to the diverse. From people of color to LGBTQ folks, appointments — which include the first openly trans commissioner — have run the gamut.

“In that initial conversation I had with the governor-elect, he looked me in the eye and said, ‘Kendall, I want you to work really hard to find people who don’t look like me.’”

“We need all kinds of perspectives,” Kendall clarifies, also noting diversity’s climb. “We started out with about 8 percent people of color and about 17 percent women. Our highest number was 32 percent people of color. Our goal remains — and the governor is committed to — gender parity. It’s helpful to have a target, of course, but what I want to make sure people understand is we’re not saying we don’t want anyone. We’re saying what we do want — anyone who has an interest and skill set.”

The awe of helping govern certainly hasn’t worn off. On what it’s like to pull back the curtain and see how everything works, Kendall says: “I hate to admit how giddy I still get, like the first day the senior staff got together in the governor’s conference room. We’re sitting around a giant table and he comes in through a secret back door. I had this moment where I thought, ‘How did this happen?’ It’s surreal — you’re in a room with people who are making decisions about our state’s future.”

As to her secondary role as arts and culture policy advisor, “Oregonians get the value of arts in our state. It isn’t just, ‘Oh, look at this pretty picture’— it’s how the arts affect our economy, create and sustain jobs, attract tourism, affect health care, and how they are absolutely integral to education. We’re lucky here.”

Kendall counts herself among the lucky ones, and briefly revisits her time with Q Center.

“The transition was hard. It’s like a relationship for me, only we’re not dating anymore and I don’t necessarily get to say what I think — not in the same way as before. But I still love her, and I want it [the center] to be amazing and I support everyone and everything around it.

“No matter where I go, I’ll never forget how this community embraced me and took me in. From the first moments — when I met about 40 people in LeAnn Locher’s kitchen, talking about the future. These are people who, when they embrace you, they embrace you for real. That’s what I’d ask of our community: embrace the people working ridiculous hours, who don’t see their families or loved ones, all so we can have safe places and strong organizations.”

For someone who’s given so much, that’s probably the least we can do.

“NO MATTER WHERE I GO, I’LL NEVER FORGET HOW THIS COMMUNITY EMBRACED ME AND TOOK ME IN.”

For info on how you can get involved with Boards and Commissions, visit: http://governor.oregon.gov/Gov/boards. shtml.

April/May 2012 • 19

ARTS & CULTURE

QDOC HOLDS A MIRROR UP TO THE QUEER COMMUNITY

“VITO” tells the story of LGBTQ movement pioneer Vito Russo.

Photo courtesy of David Weissman

By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

The Portland Queer Documentary Film Festival stands in a class of its own. One of only two LGBTQ documentary film festivals in the world, the 6th annual QDOC promises to continue its legacy of bringing ground-breaking nonfiction films about queer subjects to Portland audiences when it comes to McMenamin’s Kennedy School May 17-20.

Founded by filmmaker David Weissman (“The Cockettes,” “We Were Here”) and former San Francisco International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival operations director Russ Gage, QDOC emerged initially as a counterpoint to trends in gay filmmaking.

“It was Russ’s idea, I believe, to do a festival of docu-

mentaries simply because there are so many features now,” Weissman explains, “and a lot of them are very light, funny comedies. We thought doing a documentary film festival was a great way to focus on films that dealt with meatier subject matter, and had a deeper sense of cultural resonance.”

The resulting festival has consistently highlighted some of the most intriguing, challenging filmic visions of queer life and identity.

“Every year is different, partially because of what’s available out there,” Weissman says. “It’s something we have no control over at all. Some years the pickings are very slim, and some years there’s an abundance. What the subject range will be, we never really know.”

However, Weissman and Gage consistently succeed in crafting a lineup that succeeds in being mind-blowingly diverse, yet curatorially cogent. Films featured in past festivals have examined such varied topics as gender reassignment in Iran (“Be Like Others”), religious influence upon the political process (“8: The Mormon Proposition”), homoerotic subtext within the extremes of the counterculture (“The Advocate for Fagdom”), and even country-singing queer activist sisters from New Zealand (“The Topp Twins: Untouchable Girls”).

In addition to the roster of films, QDOC has consistently heightened the excitement and relevance of the event by including the filmmakers themselves as participants in the festival.

“We try to bring in as many of the filmmakers as possible to participate,” Weissman says. “QDOC has very quickly established a major reputation out there in the world, so filmmakers are always very excited to be invited to QDOC. They know they’re treated very well here, that the audience is very engaged, and that there’s a focus that you don’t get in other festivals. Documentaries are often sort of secondtier at other festivals, and we really honor the documentary form itself, which the filmmakers love.”

This year’s festival promises to build upon the reputation of past festivals with an exciting line-up of world-class films and events. The line-up is so high-caliber that, when queried as to which films he’d particularly recommend, Weissman suggests that viewers challenge themselves to think outside the box.

“One of the nice things about doing a relatively short

festival is that we really get to program the cream of the crop,” he says. “One of the things I encourage people to do is to look at the stuff that they wouldn’t otherwise think of going to. … Everything’s good!”

While there’s no disagreeing with Weissman — all of the QDOC 2012 films do indeed look excellent, and the event list was still growing at the time this article went to press — the festival does offer a few particularly high-profile documentaries.

“VITO,” directed by Jeffrey Schwarz, tells the story of seminal LGBTQ movement pioneer Vito Russo. The film traces Russo’s life from his early years as a film student in Los Angeles to his involvement in Stonewell riots of 1969 and his creation of The Celluloid Closet, the first book to critique Hollywood’s portrayals of gays on screen. The film includes rarely-seen footage of Russo during his days as an activist with ACT UP and of his life leading up to his death in 1990.

Another film certain to thrill crowds is “Wish Me Away,” directed by Bobbie Birleffi and Beverly Kopf, which shares the story of country music star Chely Wright. After a lifetime of hiding in the conservative community of Nashville, Wright comes out as a lesbian. Along the way, she struggles with her own internalized homophobia, reconciles her Christian faith with her sexuality, shatters cultural stereotypes, and even has some fun figuring out how to live true to herself. Featuring exclusive video diaries and unprecedented access to the star’s life, “Wish Me Away” gives great insight into the experience of coming out under a spotlight.

As to why Weissman and Gage are excited every year about putting together QDOC, it comes down to one motivation: they want to hold a mirror up for queer people and queer society to see themselves.

“We’re still emerging as a community,” Weissman says, “and we’re still finding our identity. … One of the great things that both Russ and I experienced in our years of going to the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in San Francisco is the experience of seeing movies about queer culture, history, and politics in a group context instead of watching them at home alone on a TV. It’s a completely different experience. So, a lot of our emphasis with the film festival is going beyond the films themselves to provide the facilitate experience of queer community.”

PORTLAND QUEER DOCUMENTARY FILM FESTIVAL 2012 SCHEDULE All films shown at McMenamin’s Kennedy School (5537 NE 33rd Ave., Portland).

Schedule subject to change; please be sure to check queerdocfest.org for up-to-date times, event information, and tickets. The PQ Monthly Blog will feature trailers, previews, interviews, giveaways, and more as the festival approaches. Keep up-to-date at PQMonthly.com.

reinvent and question the border between “man” and “woman.” Directed by Valérie Mitteaux; France, 2011. Lynnee Breedlove, film subject, and former member of queer band Tribe 8, in attendance.

9pm — “King of Comics.” Ralf König, Germany‘s most successful cartoonist, makes his mark upon generations of readers. Directed

by Rosa von Praunheim; Germany, 2012.

Thursday, May 17

Saturday, May 19

7pm — “Wish Me Away.” Country music star Chely Wright comes out, contending with the homophobia of Nashville and her own struggle to be herself. Directed by Bobbie Birleffi and Beverly Kopf; USA, 2011.

Chely Wright in attendance.

9:30pm — Opening Night Party, location TBA at time of publication.

1:30pm — “The LuLu Sessions.” Dr. Louise Nutter, or LuLu, has just discovered a new anti-cancer drug when she finds out she is dying of breast cancer herself at 42.

Directed by S. Casper Wong; USA, 2011.

4pm — “La Bocca del Lupo.” Genoan exinmate Enzo recollects his relationship with transgender heroin addict Mary as they try to find a balance between dreams and reality.

Directed by Pierto Marcello; Italy, 2009.

6pm — “Question One.” An exploration of the battle for marriage equality in the

Friday, May 18 6:45pm — “Girl or Boy, My Sex is Not My Gender.” Four people from around the world 20 • April/May 2012

state of Maine as a bellwether for the greater ideological battlefield of American politics.

Directed by Joe Fox and James Nubile; USA, 2011. Directors Joe Fox and James Nubile in attendance, discussion of marriage equality in Pacific NW to follow.

9:30pm — “Jobriath A.D.” The rise and fall of Jobriath, a nearly-forgotten openly gay glam-rock star of the early 1970’s once called the “American Bowie.” Directed by Kieran Turner; USA, 2011.

Sunday, May 20 11:30am — “This Is What Love In Action Looks Like.” A Memphis teenager forced into a fundamentalist Christian ex-gay recovery program sparks an international news story when his heartfelt blog posts incite an activist response. Directed by Morgan John Fox; USA, 2011. Director Morgan John Fox in attendance.

1:30pm — “Difficult Love.” A highly personal take on the challenges facing

black lesbians in South Africa today told through the life, work, friends, and associates of “visual activist” and internationally celebrated photographer Zanele Muholi.

Directed by Zanele Muholi and Peter Goldsmid; South Africa, 2011.

Followed by “Not A Man In Sight.” Three generations of Norwegian lesbians consider the changing imperatives and priorities at different ages of queer life. Directed by Mette Aakerholm Gardell; Norway, 2011.

4pm — “Love Free Or Die.” A meditation on the divisiveness of homosexuality in organized religion told through the quiet crusade of openly gay bishop Gene Robinson. Directed by Macky Alston; USA, 2011.

Director Macky Alston in attendance.

7pm — “VITO.” The story of Vito Russo, founding father of the gay liberation movement, author of The Celluloid Closet, and vociferous AIDS activist. Directed by Jeffrey Schwartz; USA, 2011. Director Jeffrey Schwartz in attendance. pqmonthly.com

CALENDAR

GET OUT! Friday, April 20

Want the full scoop? Head over to pqmonthly.com to check out the full calendar of events, submit your own events, and look through photos from parties around town!

ance presents a seminar address“Trannysnatchers” World Pre- ing challenges and resources miere! The comedy/horror film for LGBTQ families. 6:30 p.m., that we’ve all been waiting for has Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, finally arrived. Be the first to see it! prideprofessionalalliance.com Bi/Pansexual Conversation 7:15 p.m., Hollywood Theatre, 4122 Group.

7 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N NE Sandy, trannysnatchers.com.

Mississippi, for more information e-mail stephanie1225@gmail.

Through April 21 com.

Artists Repertory Theatre, in partnership with Basic Rights Oregon, presents a special run of Wednesday, April 25 Drop-In at SMYRC. Open to “Standing On Ceremony–The Gay youth ages 12-23 who identify as Marriage Plays,” nine short plays on topics and issues surrounding LGBTQ or queer. 4-7 p.m., SMYRC, gay marriage. 7:30 p.m., Artists 2406 NE Sandy #100, smyrc.org.

Self-described “classy electroRepertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrockers” Mattachine Social perrison, $15-25, artistsrep.org. form live, with We Are Like the Spider and special guests! 8:30 Saturday, April 21 p.m., The Fez Ballroom, 316 SW Portland LGBTQ Human & 11th, 21+.

Civil Rights Day. Connect with other activists and community members and share ideas about Thursday, April 26 Dining Out for Life ! When any aspect of human or civil rights, because we are everywhere! Noon, you dine at a participating resGarlington Center 3034 NE MLK, taurant today, 20-30% of your bill goes directly to EMO’s HIV Day Free.

Are you ready for some (wom- Center and Partnership Project. en’s) football? The Por t la nd Visit diningoutforlife.com/PortShockwave kicks off their 2012 land for a list of participating resseason with their home opener taurants.

Basic Rights Oregon presents against the Seattle Majestics. 6 p.m., Hillsboro Stadium, 4450 NW the Oregonians Against Discrim229th, Hillsboro, $5-10, portland- ination Business Leaders Luncheon. 10:30 a.m., Oregon Conshockwave.com.

UnderU4Men Fashion Show vention Center, Portland Balland benef it for Basic Rights room, 777 NE MLK, $75-100, Oregon. Explore the new space basicrights.org. as you cast your eyes on models wearing the hottest Spring fash- Friday, April 27 ions in men’s underwear, swimMTF Peer Support Group. 7-9 wear, and gymwear. With Andy p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, a nd Tea m Bon za i in the DJ for more information e-mail phylbooth, and champagne and hors licia99@gmail.com. d’oeuvres. 7 p.m., UnderU4Men, The Oregon Bears migrate to 800 SW Washington, underu4men. Embers for the Double X Dance, com. the scruffiest night in town! 9 p.m., Embers Avenue, 110 NW Broadway, 21+.

Sunday, April 22 A Class Act: The 18th Annual Queer Feminist Theory ReadBenefit for the Bill & Ann Sheping Group. 4 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, for more informa- herd Legal Scholarship Fund of Equity Foundation, featurtion e-mail emi@eminism.org.

Superstar Divas Megashow. ing Oregon Music Hall of Fame Honey Bea Hart, Bolivia Carmi- member Norman Sylvester, folchaels, and Ginger Lee bring you lowed by a reception of decadent diva realness every Sunday night! desserts and sinful savories. 7:30 8 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW p.m., The Old Church, 1422 SW Davis, 21+, No cover, ccslaugh- 11th, $40, ogalla.org.

A P O C A LY SP ! Sweat your terspdx.com/divas. queercore, punk rock, riot grrl, new wave pores dry, with DJs WeinerTuesday, April 24 slav and Pork Belly. 10 p.m., The Families in the LGBTQ Com- Foggy Notion, 3416 N Lombard, munity. Pride Professional Alli- 21+, No cover! pqmonthly.com

pqmonthly.com/calendar

Saturday, April 28

Oregon Unite Against the War on Women Rally! 10 a.m., the Capitol Building, Salem, oregonwow.org.

Cascade Aids Project Annual Art Auction. Since 1990, CAP has hosted this auction to raise money to prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS and provide service to those infected or affected by HIV. This year’s event features (in addition to the art) the sultry sounds of Nicole Henry. 6 p.m. Patron Dinner, 8 p.m. Grand Event, Memorial Coliseum, $100-250, capartauction.org.

The Living Room, a safe haven for GLBTQQ youth in Clackamas County, presents an Alternative Prom for youth aged 14-20. It’s a Gothic Masquerade, with snacks, dancing, and a special performance by Nonsense Dance Company. 7 p.m., Clackamas Community College, Gregory Forum, for more information visit thelivingroomyouth.org.

Ladies! INFERNO’s DJs Wildfire and D-Zel turn up the heat at the hottest evening dance party on the West Coast! 6:00 p.m., DIRTY Nightclub, 35 NW 3rd, $8 cover, 21+, infernodances.com

Friday, May 4

Saturday, May 12

Friday, May 11

Sunday, May 20

The 4th Annual Gay & Grey Expo. If you’re an older adult LGBT individual (or ally) seeking information about gay-friendly social activities, resources, financial, housing and health services, this is where you want to be! 9 a.m.4 p.m. Visit gayandgreypdx.org or call 503-228-4391.

Storytime with Maria. Youth Librarian Maria Lowe reads stories, sings songs, and engages the children of LGBTQ families. 9:30Saturday, May 5 Can’t get enough women’s 10:30 a.m., Q Center, 4115 N, Misfootball? (I know I can’t.) Port- sissippi Ave., Free!

Drop-In at SMYRC. Open to land’s other women’s full-contact youth ages 12-23 who identify as football team, the Fighting FilLGBTQ or queer. 4-9 p.m., SMYRC, lies, host the Utah Blitz in their home opener. 5 p.m., Milwaukie 2406 NE Sandy #100, smyrc.org.

High School, 11300 SE 23rd Ave., Milwaukie, $5-10, fightingfillies. Sunday, May 13 com.

The Q Center Concert Series Join the Portland Frontrun- presents Tom Goss, Bobby Jo Valners for their weekly Waterfront entine, and Kerry Hallett! 6 p.m., Run. Meet underneath the Mar- Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, All quam Bridge on the Eastbank ages, $10-12, pdxqcenter.org.

Esplanade. 9 p.m., SE Main and Water Street, portlandfrontrun- Tuesday, May 15 ners.org.

Beary-oke! 9 p.m., Scandals, Slinger of soul, DJ Act ion 1125 SW Stark, 21+, oregonbears.

Slacks, brings out the shimmy org. with Sugar Town! featuring the Trans-Fem* social-support swingingest, springingest soul group for transwomen, intermusic, with friends from the sex, genderqueer and questionSunday, April 29 Emerald City, DJ Nitty Gritty, and ing people. 7 p.m., Q Center, 4115 Ma n i fest Men’s Wel l ness DJ Gene. 8 p.m., The Spare Room, N Mississippi, for more informaCommunity Wanderlust Fitness 4830 NE 42nd, 21+, $5 cover. tion e-mail TransFemGroup@ Cycling Group. Explore Portland gmail.com. in this fitness ride for men looking Thursday, May 10 for a moderate workout. 4:30 p.m., “From Place to Place” docuMeet at Whole Foods at NE 15th mentary screening and LGBTQ Saturday, May 19 Portland Leather A ff inity and Fremont, $3-15 non-Manifest foster care panel. Join Boys & Group Meeting. 3 p.m., Q Center, members, manifestpdx.org.

Girls Aid in honoring Foster Care Q Center and Portland Play- Awareness Month. 6:30 p.m., Q 4115 N Mississippi.

Why don’t you take a Gaycahouse present Face2Face Com- Center, 4115 N Mississippi, for munity Dialogue: Race & Sexu- more information or to RSVP, tion? Think hot, sweaty, queer love ality. A talkback following a per- contact Boys & Girls Aid at 503- on the dance floor (with resident formance of “The Brother/Sister 542-2301 or info@boysandgirl- DJs Mr. Charming and Snowtiger). 9 p.m., Holocene, 1001 SE Plays.” 2 p.m., The Old Church, said.org.

Morrison, 21+, $3 cover.

602 NE Prescott, $21, pdxqcenter.org.

Tuesday, May 1

Basic Rights Oregon and Q Center host a Portland Mayoral Ca ndidates Meet a nd Greet, designed for the LGBTQ community, open to all. 6 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi.

The Border Riders Motorcycle Club holds a Meet-and-Greet for gay men interested in recreational motorcycle touring. 7-9 p.m., The Eagle Portland, 835 N. Lombard, 21+, borderriders.com.

Senior Prom! Join Gay & Grey for the annual celebration of Spring and renewal for the silver set and the young at heart. 6 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, for more information call 503-228-4391.

Homomentum. Looking for an all-inclusive queer cabaret, full of glitter and ridiculousness? Homomentum is the cure. 8 p.m., The Fez, 316 SW 11th, 21+, $5-10.

Dirty Queer is your friendly local x-rated open mic for erotic entertainers of all sorts. If you haven’t experienced it yet, you have no idea what you’re missing.

6:30-8:30 p.m., In Other Words, 14 NE Killingsworth, 18+, $1-$5 suggested donation, dirtyqueer.com.

Get BENT with your dance floor hero, Resident DJ Roy G. Biv, and with special guests (as always). 9 p.m., The Foggy Notion, 3416 N Lombard, 21+, $5, facebook.com/ bentpdx.

Tranz Guyz Discussion Group addresses topics like coming out, hormones, “passing,” dating and relationships, family issues, and sex. 6 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi, pdxqcenter.org Superstar Divas Megashow.

Honey Bea Hart, Bolivia Carmichaels, and Ginger Lee bring you diva realness every Sunday night!

8 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis, 21+, No cover, ccslaughterspdx.com/divas.

April/May 2012 • 21

22 • April/May 2012

pqmonthly.com

BLOOM IN STYLE

By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

Spring is here, and it’s high time to take off your waterlogged winter coat and update your look for the change in the seasons. To help inspire your personal sartorial evolution, PQ invited four of the city’s sharpest and most daring fashionistas to share their suggestions

Top photo by Xilia Faye, PQ Monthly. All others courtesy of the subjects

(Left to right) Melody Awesomazing, Camille Pandian, Jess Carson, Bertha Pearl want all of us to look and feel good.

as to how you can take your spring style to the next level with a few basic additions and surprisingly accessible innovations.

Dapper and romantic Partners Camille Pandian and Jess Carson of Reveille, the marvelously unique and fashion-forward boutique on NW 23rd, have received a great deal of local and national press for their shop’s smart, daring mix of current fashions and select high-end vintage for all genders.

As people who see trends change day-to-day, though, Pandian and Carson still feel that the warm weather months are Portland’s sartorial favorites.

“Spring/summer is short here and you wait a long time to break out the summer fashion,” Pandian explains. “People hit it hard when the time comes. Everyone is so excited to shed their thick winter layers.”

What should you unveil from beneath those layers? For the ladies, Pandian posits, this spring is all about romance and lace — think dreamy, bohemian elegance with a wistful twist.

“In Reveille, Alice by Temperley and Opening Ceremony have some fantastic dreamy lace pieces,” Pandian says, “particularly the Alice by Temperley Surya Jumpsuit, which is an all-lace romper inspired by Indian Henna tattoos — very cool. Also the Opening Ceremony Flocked Lace Dress — it feels just like wearing a cloud.”

For gentlemen, it’s important to buck the impulse to simply cut your jeans into shorts and call it a day. Carson has the perfect solution for the sharp-dressed man in the springtime: lightweight suits in cotton and linen. Portlanders are in luck: Reveille is preparing to release a full men’s line, including the perfect linen deconstructed sack coat. The same sartorial sensibility — casual without being sloppy — should extend throughout your spring wardrobe; look to Swedish design team Our Legacy and their sleek Euro-influenced sportswear for inspiration. pqmonthly.com

ARTS & CULTURE

Four fashion trendsetters give tips on how you can spring forward

Big on style Local designer Bertha Pearl thinks the most important thing you can do to look good is to feel good about yourself — at any size. Pearl is known on both coasts for her extremely daring and flattering creations for the plus-size community.

“I am a fat activist,” Pearl says of her work, “and part of my activism is to create designs that inspire people to feel good about their bodies and themselves. … It’s important to me to help create fat visibility, so that the world can see diversity of shapes and sizes, and appreciate them.”

To facilitate this visibility, Pearl recommends interpreting it literally by embracing eye-catching colors and prints.

“Try lighter clothing in bright colors,” she suggests: “I saw a great lime green coat yesterday and turquoise plaid pants. Super adventurous!”

For those who want to be bold without searing anyone’s corneas, Pearl recommends starting small.

“Accessories are terrific if you are not into bright clothing, An orange bag, a fuschia scarf, or a big red belt will zing an outfit.”

Pearl also encourages those who are male-identified to shine a bit brighter on the sunny streets.

“I made a turquoise sparkle singlet [which you may have seen on the flyer for the recent size-positive dance night Jellyroll] and I would love to see something like that on the street with loud shorts and big chunky boots.”

To update your look on a budget, Pearl suggests that the female-identified add a sassy new skirt to their spring wardrobes.

“I am loving tight mini skirts for spring, and big circle skirts.” Go for a floral or plaid print to add an instant bloom of fun under the sun.

Make it up, break it down The clothes are only part of your style renaissance.

Makeup is an accessible way to update your look completely — and local performer, teacher,

and cosmetic genius Melody Awesomazing thinks springtime is the perfect moment to get bold with your maquillage.

“I’m excited to see that people are experimenting with different lip colors in particular; it’s one simple thing you can do to change your look,” Awesomazing says.

For those who like a more masculine aesthetic, blue, black, dark purple, and hot orange are excellent choices that can be procured at a variety of drugstores and

makeup counters. To turn up the volume farther, contrast the butch with the femme: try incorporating some pastels alongside a dark hue to maximize your impact.

The newfound sun of spring brings out the party animal in every Portlander — and there’s one bold touch that can easily make the transition from the drag show stage to the house party floor with a little bit of glue.

“People are gluing everything under the sun to their nails and face right now,” Awesomazing explains. “Pretty much anything can be glued to your skin using duo eyelash glue or spirit gum.”

Experiment with confetti, rhinestones, natural objects like flowers, and whatever else you can find in your art supply box — and don’t be afraid to make a misfire or two.

“I’ll give you one free makeup tip,” Awesomazing offers.

“Anything can be fixed by adding glitter.”

What not to wear The springtime is so short in Portland that it’s a terrible shame to make major faux pas with your fashion — so weed a few things and habits out right now.

The Reveille team turns their eyes downward, and their noses up, at two significant Portland footwear trends: Vibram Five Fingers and Crocs. Save them for your “barefoot” running workouts or shifts in the ER. Also, pleads Pandian, inclement weather is no excuse for bad fashion. “Please get rid of your ugly raincoat.” Ditch the bland North Face hiking-wear and instead treat yourself to a fitted trench — or, better yet, just grab an umbrella.

“My least favorite thing about Portland fashion in general,” Awesomazing says, “is the lack of bright colors. People wear a lot of black, grey, and navy blue. I don’t know how people get through the grey winter wearing all black and grey.”

Pearl agrees. “So many people wear grey, and grey tones.

Beige, taupe, charcoal … I know they are basics, but blah!

Portland has enough grey.”

For spring, Awesomazing wants you to ditch the darkness and go towards the light. Adding even one bright pattern or a romantic floral print to an outfit can take it from the funerary to the fantastic.

Another distinctively Portland look that you may want to retire: the retro pin-up aesthetic.

“I am getting really bored with is the pin-up look for makeup in particular,” Awesomazing opines. “A neutral eye with a red lip looks good on most people, but personally I think anything else is more interesting.”

Instead, shake things up with a bold, crafty touch. “My personal recent obsession is using stencils for makeup patterns,” she says. For beginners, start with small stencils as part of the eye makeup; for the strong-hearted, cheeks and foreheads can become canvasses for your craft store finds.

Most importantly, make this the spring you embrace your true beauty, whatever your look may be.

“When you feel good,” Pearl says, “you are more confident — and confidence is very attractive.”

So, get out in the sun, and shine!

Pandian and Carson’s shop Reveille is located at 728 NW 23rd Ave, Portland; check out their website at reveilleshop.com.

Pearl’s shop and studio Size Queen Clothing is located at 3125 E Burnside, Portland; check out her website at sizequeenclothing. com. Melody Awesomazing is available for makeup gigs and consultations; contact her at melodyawesomazing@gmail.com.

April/May 2012 • 23

ARTS & CULTURE

LIGHTS! NO CAMERA! ACTION! What’s happening in local queer theater

the blennings: “I think it’s a social justice issue, I feel like everybody has a right to have respectful quality care.”

Continued from page 14

Photo by Laura Domela

“The Brother/Sister Plays” are presented in two parts: “In The Red and Brown Water” began March 29 and will continue through May 13; “The Brothers Size” and “Marcus: Or The Secret of the Sweet” will run together April 21-May 13.

By Julie Cortez PQ Monthly

Take a break from the sunshine — or escape the inevitable spring showers — and head indoors to dine on the bumper crop of queer theatre that’s in season right now.

The Brother/Sister Plays Set in a housing project in the Louisiana bayou and influenced by Yoruban mythology, modern dance, and playwright Tarell Alvin McCraney’s own life, Portland Playhouse will present McCraney’s awardwinning trilogy in two parts. “In The Red and Brown Water,” which explores a young woman’s coming of age, began March 29 and will continue through May 13. Parts two and three, “The Brothers Size” and “Marcus: Or The Secret of the Sweet,” delve into sexuality, family ties, and brotherhood, and will run together April 21-May 13.

Sitting in on rehearsals, Alex Leigh Ramírez, outreach liaison for the plays, has been intrigued by McCraney’s’s request that the actors read the stage directions aloud, making eye contact with the audience as they do so.

“During a rehearsal, [the director] Victor Mack compared it to telling a child a story and taking a pause to explain what was about to happen next,” Ramírez says. “ … I think this technique really drew my attention to the race and sexuality within the plays because from the start I feel, as the audience, that I am a part of the story, the community that is being shown to me onstage. When something is uncomfortable the actors are checking in with me every step of the way and forcing me to think about why I am uncomfortable. It helped me to think about both the issues of race and sexuality involved in this trilogy and how they relate to my life and experiences in Portland.”

To deepen that thought process, Q Center, Process Sense, and Portland Playhouse are hosting a community conversation on race and sexual orientation following the April 29 performance. For tickets to that or any other performance, held 24 • April/May 2012

at The Church (602 NE Prescott St., Portland), visit www.portlandplayhouse.org or call 503-205-0715.

Sonnetscape The Fuse Theatre Ensemble is removing the Bard’s beard with their original work, “Sonnetscape,” now through April 28 at Q Center (4115 N. Mississippi Ave. Portland).

In “Sonnetscape,” a multimedia performance featuring a compilation of all 154 of the William Shakespeare’s sonnets accompanied by film and original music, Fuse posits that the sonnets represent “the first great collection of literature detailing the specifics of homosexual love and its layered social complexities.”

Rusty Tennant, who directs and co-stars in “Sonnetscape” and serves as Fuse’s coartistic director, says that while “everything with Shakespeare is debatable,” the theory that the sonnets deal with same-sex love is a common one among scholars.

“It is nearly impossible to experience the sonnets in their entirety and not recognize their importance in homosexual history and literature,” Tennant says, adding that Oscar Wilde was among the most outspoken early supporters of the idea that the sonnets reveal Shakepeare’s sexuality.

Fuse will hold a special performance and celebration on April 23 at 8 p.m. in honor of Shakespeare’s birthday. For tickets and information, visit http://fusepdx.moonfruit.com or call 971-238-3873.

But wait, there’s more …

April 19-21 is the final weekend to catch Artists Repertory Theatre’s special run of “Standing On Ceremony – The Gay Marriage Plays,” presented in partnership with Basic Rights Oregon. Tickets and information: www.artistsrep.org/.

Triangle Productions presents the story of gay icon and one-time Oregon gubernatorial candidate Gracie Hansen in the musical “Gracie” in Portland at The Sanctuary (1785 NE Sandy Blvd.) May 3-27, with Seattle dates to be announced. Tickets and information: www.tripro.org/.

“Next month I’m doing cross department training focused on trans care in primary care setting,” Carol says. “I know people want to know more, but they don’t know how. It’s more like attitude and a culture shift.”

Carol is also working to shift attitudes as a member of OHSU’s Cultural Advocacy Team, an interdepartmental group founded in 2009 to lead diversity and inclusion efforts.

“The cool thing about [CAT] is it cuts across all of OHSU healthcare, including people who are doing nursing, janitorial stuff. We have the hospitality people who greet you when you walk in the hospital,” Carol says.

That diversity allows the group to look at the experience of patients — and employees — from a variety of angles. One of the team’s projects is supporting the creation of employee affinity groups like OHSU Pride (active since 2007).

“It kind of helps the management have a sense of the whole community,” Carol says. “You have to be really intentional about addressing disparities and not just treating everyone the same.”

But her involvement in the Cultural Advocacy Team isn’t the only way Carol is helping make OHSU a friendlier place for LGBTQ folks. Recently, with Wendy’s assistance, Carol helped the hospital make the necessary changes to earn it high marks from the Human Rights Campaign’s Healthcare Equality Index.

OHSU is ranked as a “leader” for the first time in the 2011 HRC index and one of just 27 respondents to meet all seven measures of equality. The previous year, OHSU only met three of the seven standards.

Among the index criteria: Patients’ Bill of Rights and/or non-discrimination policy

includes “sexual orientation” and “gender identity or expression” or “gender identity;” explicitly inclusive visitation policy grants same-sex couples equal visitation access as different-sex couples and next of kin and grants same-sex parents equal visitation access as different-sex parents for their minor children; provide cultural competency training addressing LGBT healthcare issues; and equal employment opportunity policy includes “sexual orientation” and “gender identity.”

As a former member of HRC’s Board of Governors, Wendy offered insight that helped OHSU overcome its difficulties in “making the grade,” Carol says.

Carol also recently joined the board of TransActive, a Portland-based organization serving transgender and gender nonconforming children, youth, and their families and allies.

Wendy says that having an MD of the board helps lend credibility.

“It is important for [medical doctors] to step up. People don’t show up to trainings unless an MD is doing it,” Wendy says.

To the doctors not currently involved in LGBTQ advocacy she says: “We need you; we need your power.”

Despite the sway those two letters hold, Carol remains down-to-earth.

“My style is more, ‘Don’t wear a white coat, go by your first name,’” she says in response to Wendy talking up her credentials.

Degrees and accomplishments aside, what matters most, the Blennings say, is simply taking action and helping others to do the same.

“It really is up to all of us to do the little things we can do every day,” Wendy says.

“And teaching people how to fish. Everybody needs to know this stuff.”

kari greene

do. Sometimes our ego is the first thing to respond to a potential conf lict. And though I am a huge believer in speaking up and taking advantage of those “teaching opportunities” that may arise, there are times when the safest (and hardest!) thing to do is to walk away.

PQ: Is there anything else you would want Portland’s LGBTQ community to know or think about when it comes to hate crimes or conflict?

KG: Conflict, hate crimes, and aggression often stem from a place of fear — a very low place. We want to give people the chance to do the right thing, to take the right course of action, and to choose to be their highest self. If that person chooses to remain in that low, fearful place and chooses to perpetrate violence, we have the right to defend ourselves. We are worth it — each and every one of us. And our actions come with a responsibility to act from a high place beyond anger and ego. That is not always easy, but it is necessary to heal ourselves, our community, and our world. pqmonthly.com

Continued from page

we are worth defending.

PQ: Can conflicts be prevented? What can individuals do to prevent or stop them?

What can the community at large do?

KG: Breathe. And find your voice. Honestly, those are incredibly powerful tools we already possess. When we breathe and learn to use our voice to calm ourselves and those around us, we can de-escalate conflicts and we can prevent a violent act from ever happening. And if the aggressor chooses to continue down that path of violence, we can use our voice and our body to defend ourselves until that person is no longer a threat, until help comes, or until we can leave the situation. … [We do not] have to be a oneperson show for social justice. We have to set aside our ego and challenge ourselves to look closely at our own beliefs and actions and why we do the things we

LATEBIAN LIFE

Embracing the authentic self

By Kathryn Martini PQ Monthly

It’s April. The first quarter of the New Year is over and many people reflect on how well they’ve done with their plans for gym memberships and healthy eating. I’m not typically a “New Year’s Resolution” type of person. One year I resolved to eat a higherfat diet, gain weight, and drink more. I was wildly successful.

Most years, like this one, I have good intentions that are thwarted by a busy schedule, the stress of raising a family, and the rain. It’s unfortunate, but I think the rain has a lot more power over me than it should.

It’s depressing, inconvenient, and messes up my hair and I don’t like to be out in it.

No, I’m not the kind of lesbian who likes the outdoors or snowshoes, runs, or hikes (unless it’s in the mall). I’m content reading, watching movies, playing games, and enjoying lovely food and wine. I wasn’t a feeder lesbian. I didn’t start on the softball field or the basketball court and figure it out from there. I didn’t know anything about being a lesbian until I was an adult, and then I learned as I went.

When I was 35, I was a middle-class suburban soccer mom, married to a man, with three daughters. I had an awakening and realized I wasn’t living the right life. I quickly figured out where I was supposed to be and made some huge changes. I went through a divorce, became a single mother, and remained in the suburbs with no one but an ex-husband and a long line of ex-friends who thought I was horrible for breaking up my family.

“If you want to be a lesbian, do it when your youngest daughter is 18,” one friend told me. “I wish you could just have electric shock therapy and snap out of this,” expressed another. “I cannot support your decision to be gay,” came from my best friend of 20 years, who was also my daughter’s godmother. Since that day, we spoke once and I’m pretty sure she only called to see if I was still a lezzie. I was. I still am.

I’m a Latebian — a woman who comes out as a lesbian later in life. I’m not alone, although I certainly felt like it at the time.

Several academic studies have shown that nearly 30 percent of all women who identify as lesbian were once in heterosexual relationships and had children. Since Oprah featured some of these women on a show in 2008, even notable celebrities have declared themselves latebians, including sometimescriticized Cynthia Nixon, who claims she is gay by choice.

Nixon took a lot of backlash for her state-

ment; many activists thought her words would be used as ammunition against LGBTQ causes, which perplexes me. It’s very true that many people have identified as gay since birth, but it is also true that a great many others did not.

Why is that bad? If we’re born this way we can’t help ourselves but if we choose to be, we can? The question I have is why would we? As Nixon said, “I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay and gay is better.” I wholeheartedly agree!

I suppose one could say that I had a choice to stay in my heterosexual relationship and never explore what I consider my authentic self, but what good would that have done? It would have made my exfriends happy; I would have stayed in my society-drawn-gender-dichotomous box and helped them to remain comfortable in theirs. I could have waited until my children were all grown and then told them that everything they thought about their parents’ relationship was a lie. I could have told my husband the same thing. I had a choice to be heterosexual but instead I chose to be a lesbian because that’s who I am and there is nothing wrong with it.

Changing sexual orientation is a part of sexual fluidity and where we fall on the Kinsey scale can vary throughout our lives.

In our community, those who “choose” to be there count just as much as those who were always there. Don’t define someone else’s gayness; acceptance needs to branch out to everyone under our rainbow. Authentic selves don’t belong in a box. Boxes are for shoes — pretty ones with bows, or Keens — whatever you like, but they shouldn’t be used to keep people from being who they want to be at the moment, or for the rest of their lives.

Over the past year, I’ve seen a lot of friends and acquaintances make major changes in their lives. A few of them focused on living a healthy life, losing a lot of weight, and changing eating and exercise habits. Some have set education and career goals and bravely re-entered academia or a different employment path.

I admire that; it takes courage and the ability to take a chance. At the center of each of these people is a fire to create something magical — to be the architect of their own lives and become the people they want to be in this life. The beautiful thing is that each of them has the freedom to choose what that means and how they intend to do it, even if they change their minds later.

A healthy lifestyle means living life with intention and authenticity. It’s the most resolved thing we can do!

Kathryn Martini is a writer, blogger, and columnist. She lives in the Portland suburbs with her beautiful wife and three teenage daughters. She blogs at recoveringstraightgirl.com and can be reached through kathrynmartini.com. pqmonthly.com

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WWW.SUPUBLICO.COM April/May 2012 • 25

PERSPECTIVES

WHISKEY & SYMPATHY

Dear Sophia and Gula, My ex-girlfriend dumped me about six months ago after dating for a year and a half. She claims that she

dumped me because I was — no fucking joke — “too awesome and extraordinary” for her, and that being with me brought up too much envy for her to “feel like a good person” in the relationship.

Since then, we’ve both gone on to intermittently and casually date other people. She and I took a long break from talking or hanging out; however, we recently started trying to be friends again and, for whatever crazy-ass reason, this led to her and I starting to sleep together again. This has happened about five times now.

Is this me being totally self-loathing and self-destructive? What the hell motivates people to sleep with their exes? Is it possible to “have your cake and eat it (out)” too? Really, I just don’t want to have my heart broken again. Is there anything I can do to protect myself?

-Somewhat Stupid in Sellwood

Dear Somewhat Stupid in Sellwood,

Sophia St. James

Oh honey! It’s the lesbian curse. You date ... you break up ... you don’t speak ... then you fool around and most likely become best friends. It’s not just you, trust me. Even I have fallen to the curse; most do. But don’t feel stupid. It’s called human nature. It seems like you two didn’t have a nasty break up. It seems like she ended the relationship because she didn’t feel adequate enough. For whatever reason she was putting too much on what she couldn’t offer you and not enough on what you offered each other.

At any rate, I have a feeling you and her are back in each others’ beds because you still care for one another. And let’s be honest, you still have the hots for one another.

I don’t think you are being self-loathing at all. I think it’s a comfortable and familiar place for you. She knows what you like and how you like it, just as you know what she likes. There isn’t too much messing around trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t work; you guys already have it figured out.

Here are the questions you have to ask yourself: Do you still love her? Does she say she loves you and, if so, how does it make you feel?

When you express yourself, does she listen to you?; Does she only call you for a booty call? Do you and her only get along in bed or can you two co-exist out of the bedroom? These are very important questions to consider. As easy as we think it is to separate sex from emotion, it just isn’t that simple most the time. You have to remember, you are the only one who can protect you. You also might want to ask her why she is back in your life. Is it just for the physical joys or does she want your company too?

I think you can have your cake and eat out too. But you also have to be aware of your emotions and how you are dealing with any possible hurtful actions that may arise. If you don’t see yourself getting too emotional, then by all means, satisfy your sweet tooth, honey. But if you think this is really messing with your emotions and your heart just can’t handle it, then you may want to go on a diet.

xoxox, Sophia St. James

Hey there, Somewhat!

Gula Delgatto

Let’s listen to music …

You remind me of the immortal words of Janet Jackson: “Like a moth to a flame burned by the fire.” You are the fire and some moths just can’t stand their partners burning so bright. I should know, being a “huge” star, it takes a real man to prop me up and let me burn! Like Dolly Parton — she’s constantly in the public eye, and Carl (her husband) prefers to remain in the background and let his celebrity wife take the spotlight. A man who knows his place.

Since you broke up, you’ve Tori Amosed it by “looking for a savior in these dirty streets, looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets.”

Right? You found no closure in her wishy-washy breakup excuse.

Then one day she is back in your life and it’s like Tegan and Sara sang: “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t find me attractive. Look me in the heart and tell me you won’t go. Look me in the eye and promise no love’s like our love. Look me in the heart and un-break what’s broken.”

I really love a good lesbian heartbreak story! That is why there are so many songs about them — the excitement of getting back with an ex and not being sure of the rules. It’s familiar, yet there’s no footing. Maybe she wants you off your guard so your flame is blown by an uneasy wind.

“You’re begging me to go, then making me stay — why do you hurt me so bad? It would help me to know: do I stand in your way? Or am I the best thing you’ve had?” Thanks, Pat Benatar, for some important questions you need to ask yourself.

I asked Google about songs with “cake and eat it too” and I found this gem from Britney: “Cause that’s what bad girls do. I’m a bad girl I’ma do what I do I can have my cake and eat it too. A girl like me will bring you to your knees.” I like them words! I like cake! I like bad girls!

So do it, if that’s what you want.

If you don’t want have your heart broken again then you need a big closing dance number — now. Become Gloria Gaynor. Declare: “I Will Survive!” And give me some finger shakin’, head rockin’, “Go! Walk out the door.”

We clear now? Good. Now go find a new single that will start your next drama soundtrack.

—Gula Delgatto

Need some advice from Sophia and Gula? Send your query — with “Whiskey & Sympathy” in the subject line — to info@pqmonthly.com Sophia St. James has been an erotic entertainer since 1996. She has traveled performing and educating the public on self confidence, self worth, and the art of sensuality no matter their outer appearance. Working as a sex and sensuality educator, sex toy/product reviewer, adult film director/producer, model, and erotic visual performer, Sophia is a well rounded woman with drive and determination. Sophia is also a mother and healthcare professional who takes pride in being a body positive and sex positive fierce femme.

26 • April/May 2012

Gula Delgatto’s life began in a small rural farming town in Romaina. She was scouted singing in a rocky field picking potatoes by a producer of a “Mickey Mouse Club” type ensemble. While touring the Americas the group fell apart due to jealousies and drugs. She later transitioned from Vaudeville to starring on the big screen to woman’s prison, and eventually advised the Dali Lama on fashion n-stuff. Currently she’s taking her life knowledge and giving back in an advice column for PQ.

‘TRANNYSNATCHERS’ PROMISES BIZARRE, OFFENSIVE GOOD TIME

By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

Are you the type of queer who likes your films campy, your drag queens engaged in demon-worship, and your gender binary smashed? Well, you sick puppy, you’re in luck. Get yourself down to the Hollywood Theatre on April 20 and check out the premiere of the highly controversial new horror flick, “Trannysnatchers.”

Deep in the rural Oregon forest, a gang of “hellbent gender enders” form a cult to worship an ancient trans deity who demands that the strict cultural rules surrounding the performance of gender be abolished.

Along the way, there are kidnappings, forced makeovers, bloody battles, dark rituals, and a truly frightening amount of glamour. Can the town’s awkward, obsessive police chief stop them before their task is completed?

How many will die in this twisted love story of chainsaws, blood, lipstick, and demonic sacrifice?

Co-directed by Portland’s own Caedmonster and Nicolas Boxwell, “Trannysnatchers” features loads of local talent, including former members of the infamous Portland drag/ performance troupe, Sissyboy. Sexy Portland luminaries Fannie Mae Darling and Nandi LaSophia head the misfit cast, which also includes seasoned indie film actress Amity Givens, Sissyboy’s “Linah Cocaine” Benjamin Porter, and Fleur de Lethal’s own Nico Bella.

“Trannysnatchers” has been controversial from its inception — precisely as the filmmakers intended. Even the title has been considered highly inappropriate by many members of the community, who cite that the term “tranny” is a slur and shouldn’t be used without a clear understanding of how it can be reclaimed from its negative connotations and history. However, others in the larger community express glee at the thought of Portland brewing up its own gory, queer take on B-movie occult horror.

“I always shiver with anticipation when a movie with ‘tranny’ in the title is about to be released, not to mention ‘snatch.’ Can’t wait!” squealed seminal queer filmmaker Bruce LaBruce.

The title itself is perhaps the real litmus test: when you hear it, you’ll either exclaim, “My stars! How dare they use that wicked term! How in the devil’s name can they justify being so... so… offensive!?” or you will say “Wow! That sounds like it’s going to be a pretty offensive movie! Hell yeah!”

Whichever response you come trannysnatchers page 30

pqmonthly.com

PERSPECTIVES

OEDIPUSBYEL R EY LUIS ALFARO

The Lady Chronicles

By Daniel Borgen PQ Monthly

One of the gym’s unsung perks is eavesdropping. I’ve almost forgotten that I used to go for endorphins and stress-reduction; cold reality has set in and I realize my greatest fantasy would be hiring someone to work out for me, so I’ve unearthed tricky new ways to maintain my routine. (I’m convinced I’m one nacho party away from unfettered corpulence.) Thus, I’ve taken my fascination with people-watching, turned it into unapologetic eavesdropping, and I schlepp it to the gym with me every weekday morning.

For listening in on conversations that I have no business hearing, my neighborhood fitness center beats its closest competitors. (A close second is listening in on bridge and tunnel folk who fill up the Northwest avenues — ladies who read signs and banners aloud to friends like they’re breaking news.) People conducting conference calls on treadmills, elliptical to elliptical bitching, stair-master scolding — I can’t get enough. Half the time my headphones aren’t even piping sweet music into my ears.

During one of my recent visits, I was splayed out on of those stretching contraptions set up next to the spin room (24 Hour Pearl-goers, you know the ones). You don’t really stretch as much as you worry about spinners behind you catching unseemly glimpses of your backside and gym panties. Anyway, on that day, I was flanked by straight male counterparts who decided to talk dating. Head down, averting my gaze, I listened.

The gentlemen, who were probably around my age (read: not young), bragged about current, young, sexy flings. One talked about sitting through that “chick shit ‘Hunger Games’” (that classification was beyond me) in order to secure sexy times later. Truckloads of inane drivel followed as the two of them ostensibly whipped out and compared their manhood there in front of me. When it came to specifics, though — like names — they hesitated.

“Nah, bro, I don’t wanna …OK, Kate.

It’s Kate. But you never know in this tiny fucking pool, you may have banged her.” (I wish I fabricated that beautiful monologue.

Nope, verbatim.)

I didn’t find the objectification jarring, per se — lord knows we gays do it too, and to equally unsavory lengths. It was this: these guys, with a much larger group of “dates” to choose from, share the same concerns my friends and I do. And, in addition to small pool concerns, these men, who projected

nothing but coolness and control, lamented the ambiguity of their circumstances. “It’s hard to know what to call it. We keep saying we’re ‘just hanging out.’”

My friend Ryan’s favorite soapbox lecture involves his annoyances with people who insist on labeling things. Relationships should just evolve naturally, he says; nothing should be explicitly declared. Nature and fate will run their combined, collective course. Over time, I’ve conceded a little on those points. I can see how the apparently sane, calm approach might eventually win people over. Then, the 30-something in me seizes control and I demand to know why the passive aggressive culture in this city always prevails. Why can’t we say: “Let’s go on a date?” Everything’s a euphemism.

We call concerts “shows,” we call fucking “hanging out.” Please.

Two of my closest friends recently embarked on serious, live-in situations.

(My best to them.) One sort of jumped right in (they lived together after a couple of months) — and he faced all the tougher questions head-on, unapologetically declaring his lover his mate and happily embracing wedded bliss. The other treaded much more carefully, for months dismissing the seriousness of his situation, until titles and living situations were thrust upon him and reality could no longer be denied.

Now, for him, it’s a barrage of questions about relationship/life balance: “How do I talk about going out alone?” After the shock of me again offering solicited relationship advice wore off, I explained there’s no hard and fast rule; each couple just sort of figures it out. But, rest assured, the more direct you are, the better. Ambiguity won’t do anyone any favors down the road.

I spent our lone sunny March weekday talking to someone fresh out of a long-term relationship, who explained in great detail his aversion to social networking (Grindr).

We also discussed his necessary next steps before embarking on any long-term romantic adventures (promiscuity).

“Call me old-fashioned,” he said. “I want to meet a boy at a bar and take him home.”

In that conversation, we recapped our social circle’s most recent exploits. For each one who rushed things, there’s another who exercised excruciating amounts of caution. For every “hook-up,” there’s an actual friendship. Everyone’s about the same level of content. Perhaps the only rule is that there aren’t any. Successful relationships are blind, dumb luck, a mix of variables mostly beyond anyone’s control.

In the interim, I’ll just be over here, rooting for the death of ambiguity.

Formerly Lady about Town, Daniel now crafts TLC for your monthly reading (dis)pleasure. He can be reached at Daniel@PQMonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

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DINAH SHORE DIGEST: GIRLS JUST WANNA GET SOME!

There was no shortage of lovely ladies, talented performers, and all around good times at this year’s Dinah Shore Weekend.

By Sunny Clark PQ Monthly

Palm Springs has a lot to boast about, including acres of new luster laid with old money, but when the women of the world take over for the annual Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend, the once golf-driven desert oasis has bragging rights on lovely ladies having the time of their lives. When asked what brought them, the typical answer, by a landslide, was, “Hot women!” None were disappointed by the store of eye candy.

Women like Tenga Schieber, currently of Atlanta, Ga., arrived eager to ride the wave. “I’ve always gone to Aqua Girl in Miami,” Shieber said. “Everybody there tells me to go to the Dinah Shore Weekend, too, because it’s even bigger and better.”

Tanya Glober of Pasedena, Calif., on her third pilgrimage to the lotus land of lesbian events, had high praise for the entertainment, but especially reveled in the packed pool parties teeming with “gorgeous girls.”

Beautiful weather and even more beautiful women made a splash during three all-day pool parties and at the

Photo by Sunny Clark, PQ Monthly

Celebrity Dodge Ball Game hosted by Sirius XM Radio, all held at the Riviera Resort & Spa. Hotel staff were the epitome of hospitality during what must have been a grueling weekend for them.

Australian Majella Feehely, was a “Dinah virgin,” attending her first Dinah. Feehely enjoyed the crowd, remarking, “Usually it’s a young crowd when I go out back home, so I felt comfortable here among all the young girls, and met lots of people. ... I find everyone really friendly and approachable.”

Yet another Aussie traveler, Leigh Mitt, happened along as we spoke, adding that she wanted “to come to the biggest lesbian party in the world.”

“Dinah covers all bases,” she added. “I was cracking up at the comedy show. I’m having a fucking amazing time!”

Red carpet walks and photo ops showcased a host of celebrities like Tucky Williams, star of the hit web series, “Girl/Girl Scene,” and the charming Meredith Baxter, of “Family Ties” fame, who read from her book, “Untied,” and submitted to a Q and A for appreciative fans. The cast of Showtime’s unscripted series, “The Real L Word,” introduced their new cast members, the foxy foursome who

comprise hot Toronto rockers Hunter Valentine.

From the Wednesday meet-and-greet to the Sunday closing party at Zelda’s Nightclub, the Dinah soared. Game gogoes gyrated day and night for the thonged throng, complementing an impressive line-up that had Club Skirts twirling to CeCe Peniston, Dev, Pussycat Doll Jessica Sutta, rising stars Rye Rye, Neon Hitch, Meital, Porcelain Black, Wynter Gordon, Nina Sky, BC Jean, Daniela Brooker, and the legendary voice of headliner Chaka Kahn. Some of the hottest DJ’s around, including Lezlee, Von Kiss, Amara, Lisa Pittman, and one talented token boy, the popular Kidd Sysco, kept the party popping and the booties boppin’ non-stop.

Sleep must be a straight guy, because there’s little of that at the Dinah. The parties and after-parties go on and on, as do the friendships forged, according to many Dinah divas, including Rose García, star of “The Real L Word,” who enthused, “I had a great time and made so many friends.

It just gets bigger and better every year. This year was the best yet. I can’t wait for my 14th Dinah.”

Defense contractor Trish was also impressed by “the eclectic group of women I met and the networking,” and by how “accessible and down to earth” various celebrities were in conversations.

“It also felt great to be among thousands of lesbians and to feel that, as a femme lesbian, I was totally accepted, unlike in southern Louisiana,” she added.

“This is the largest lesbian event in the world. ... It’s everything you can imagine in five days,” executive producer Mariah Hanson proclaimed on her 2012 promo video for the event.

Hanson’s determination, and her sense of sport, are evident. “My goal is to try and become all things to all people, which I know is impossible, but I like a challenge, so I’m going for it,” she said.

And go for it she did, aided by an amazing staff of characters, like Jillian Nye, who donned a delicious new costume each day, and Katrina Maksimuk, whose smile was always at the ready. Hanson was rewarded for her 22 years of successful event management by being named Honorary Deputy Mayor of Palm Springs by Mayor pro tem Ginny Foat.

The Dinah was dazzling and delicious and looks to continue riotously on for as long as girls just wanna have fun.

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pqmonthly.com

April/May 2012 • 29

PERSPECTIVES

RAIN CITY The Softer Animal

By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

“No, Dennis,” the voice emerges from the speaker of the iPhone. “I just … I can’t do this.”

“What do you mean?” Dennis says softly, his head sinking into the pillow behind him heavily. “You don’t want to date anymore?”

“I can’t,” the man’s voice says. “I … I have to go.”

Dennis pulls the phone from his ear, shock settling over him like a net. “It was only three, four dates,” he tells himself.

“We owed each other nothing.” Inwardly he repeats this over and over, in time with his heartbeat: “we owed nothing we owed nothing he owed nothing he owed nothing … nothing.”

He looks up at the wall beside him — beside his “Wicked” poster hangs a small plaque. “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves,” reads the Mary Oliver quote. Dennis stares at it for a moment, blinking in the rapidly-falling evening darkness.

“We owed each other nothing,” he repeats again, but the mantra doesn’t work; the heat of disappointment starts to burn through his shock. He runs his fingers through his short brown hair, rests the heels of his palms on his eyes, sighs. Then, he sits up quickly, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

It’s time to go.

Ten minutes later, Dennis walks quickly down Hawthorne Boulevard, his hands deep in his jacket pockets. The streetlights and neon signs shine off the rain-slick sidewalk. He looks up from the reflection, scans over the Saturday evening bar-goers and the bright displays in the windows of the stores.

It’s not as though he was in love, of course — Dennis doesn’t believe in love at first sight.

Even so, his chest still hurts.

Walking past Red Light, he sees two women inside, one sliding her hand into the back pocket of the other’s jeans as they look through a rack of red dresses. Dennis slows his step, the distorted blare of hipster trash rock flowing out the open door to envelop him. One of the women smiles at the other; through the window he watches them, and gets it.

“He was a good man,” Dennis sighs to himself, “but it wasn’t really him I wanted.

It was that smile, to have someone to smile at like that.” He keeps walking.

Above his head, the marquee of the Baghdad Theatre is screamingly bright.

He remembers all the times that he’s felt

this way: 15 years old and pining in his bedroom for a boyfriend, 19 years old and seductively swinging his hips in a tight green dress, 24 and arriving freshly in Portland to a sea of handsome boys just beyond his reaching arms’ touch.

Dennis looks at a couple holding hands over the McMenamin’s table and it strikes him that, when it comes down to it, he’s always felt this way; he’s always pined for love, has always been called to go the far extreme in hopes that it’d come.

“Will it always be this way?” he wonders.

It’s caused so much difficulty, so much pain, led him to do and say and experience things he never desired, driven mad in pursuit. It’s as though the longing was something out of control, something primal and wild inside him, like an animal.

Dennis stops in mid-stride, gasping in front of a Chinese restaurant, stunned.

Mary Oliver may be right, he realizes: the body may indeed be a soft animal — but the heart is a softer one, calling out with a louder and more insistent voice than mere hunger or thirst, far more vulnerable than the sk in and bone that surround it. Perhaps with the heart it is less an issue of “letting it love what it loves,” and instead coming to peace with the fact that it doesn’t require or ask for our permission to swell and break and beat on its own rhythm.

Dennis shivers with this realization, the raindrops starting to collect on the lenses of his glasses. It’s going to hurt, he knows; his heart is going to scream loudly for things that it can’t have, soar high enough with hope that the fall back to Earth crushes it, swell up into a pulpy delicate thing that fills the cage of his ribs.

It will be a soft animal, full of its own selfdetermination and vulnerability, and all he can do is care for it, do his best to keep it safe, hear it beat and pine and shatter and do it again.

He cries with the beauty of this, the thrill of being alive in all its pain and glory there on rainy Hawthorne Boulevard, amongst the Saturday night people all coming together and moving apart with their chests full with the same mysteries, the same pining, the same softness.

It almost overwhelms him — but instead he turns around on the sidewalk, beaming teary-eyed at everyone, knowing they are just like him, and starts to make his way home in the night.

Nick Mattos is a writer and yoga teacher living in SE Portland.

He’d love to hear from you at nick@pqmonthly.com 30 • April/May 2012

ALL ‘LIT’ UP: ALISON BECHDEL AND CHARLES RICE-GONZÁLEZ READ FROM NEW WORKS

By Nick Mattos PQ Monthly

Want to get your spring off to a smart start? It might be time to pick up some new books to invigorate your mind while the weather warms up. If you’re in the mood to get “lit” up, you’re in luck; check out seminal queer comic artist Alison Bechdel when she reads from her graphic memoir “Are You My Mother?” at the Baghdad Theatre on May 12, and Charles Rice-González when he speaks on his debut novel “Chulito” on May 1 and May 2 at Portland Community College and Western Oregon University.

Alison Bechdel needs little introduction. The acclaimed cartoonist and graphic novelist started her seminal strip “Dykes to Watch Out For” back in 1982.

She expanded into the world of graphic memoir with 2006’s “Fun Home,” telling the story of growing up with a closeted gay funeral-director father and the impact he had upon her burgeoning sense of “otherness” in the world.

Lev Grossman of Time Magazine praised “Fun Home” as “a masterpiece about two people who live in the same house but different worlds, and their mysterious debts to each other.”

In her new graphic memoir, “Are You My Mother?,” Bechdel turns the lens upon her other parent, poignantly and hilariously considering the rift that can form between mothers and daughters and the impact they have upon each other. At her event at the Baghdad Theatre, Bechdel will read from and sign copies of “Are You My Mother?” (copies are included in the ticket price) and undoubtedly charm everyone present with her grace, wit, and candor.

gay & Grey Continued from page

to be highly effective.

“The UP study gave us the data to illustrate the positive impact our trainings have,” Fontanarosa says. “Especially prevalent were the comments audience members made about how powerful our Elder Panel is, and how meaningful it was to hear the stories of LGBT elders from elders themselves.”

Also working in Gay & Grey’s favor is its recent affiliation with the national organization SAGE (Services & Advocacy for LGBT Elders), says Mya Chamberlin, Friendly House director of services

trannysnatchers Continued from page 26

up with, we won’t try to convince you to change camps — it probably wouldn’t work anyway. However, if you happen to be the sort who enjoys having their buttons pushed, the kind of person who likes Gwar shows and vomiting drag queens

Another notable queer author coming to town is acclaimed up-andcomer Charles Rice-González, who will make his first appearances in Oregon on May 1 and May 2. Rice-González, born in Puerto Rico and reared in the Bronx, is a writer, long-time community and LGBTQ activist, and executive director of BAAD!, the Bronx Academy of Arts and Dance. His debut novel, “Chulito,” is a coming-of-age, coming out love story of a young Latino growing up in the Bronx and coming to grips with his attraction to men. Praised as “a tremendous debut ... full of heart and courage and a ferocious honesty” by bestselling, Pulitzer prize-winning author Junot Díaz, Chulito gives a never-before-seen perspective of the gay Puerto Rican experience in New York City with all the energy and fierceness of the city itself.

Rice-González will read from “Chulito” at PCC’s Sylvania and Rock Creek Campuses on May 1 and Western Oregon University on May 2; copies of Chulito will be available at the readings for purchase and signing — the perfect gift for someone who needs a little heat to start out their May. Alison Bechdel: Saturday, May 12, 5 p.m. The Baghdad Theatre, 3702 SE Hawthorne, Portland. Tickets $22 (includes copy of “Are You My Mother?”); mcmenamins.com.

Charles Rice-Gonzalez: Tuesday, May 1, 10 a.m. PCC Sylvania Campus, 12000 SW 49th Ave. Portland. Admission free.

Tuesday, May 1, 2 p.m. PCC Rock Creek Campus, 17705 NW Springville Road, Portland. Admission free. Wednesday, May 2, 6 p.m. Western Oregon University, Monmouth. Admission free. for seniors and homeless families. That partnership not only brings national attention to the program, it may also give Gay & Grey access to funding for special projects, training and access to advocacy materials, and technical support with legislative and advocacy issues.

“Being a SAGE affiliate has also been great,” Fontanarosa says, “to be able to share with other people all over the county the work we are doing, get inspiration from their programs and see the larger effort that is going on to support LGBT elders.”

For more information on the Gay & Grey events happening May 11-12, visit www.gayandgreypdx.org. and Pink Flamingos, you probably couldn’t find a better place to get offended than the premiere of “Trannysnatchers.”

Premiere: April 20, 7:15 p.m. and 9:30 p.m., The Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Boulevard, Portland. Tickets $7 per person, available at the door. For audiences 18 and older; minors allowed if accompanied by guardian. Trannysnatchers.com pqmonthly.com

ARTS BRIEFS Anne Masigat (of the Dimes), Naomi LaViolette, Oracle, Brownish Black, Huck Notari, Reeb Willms, Ruth Oliver, and Jack Ruby Presents.

Some of Portland’s quirkiest performance artists will vie for the title of Portland’s Top Homo at Homo’s Got Talent 2012, May 4 at the Fez Ballroom. Put on by Pants Off Productions (Homomentum, F-Holes), the queer dance-off competition will be judged by former HGT titleholder Kaj-Anne Pepper, Melody Awesomazing, and Alley Hector.

“Lamarena,� from OBT’s Chromatic Quartet.

The Oregon Ballet Theatre presents its spring program, Chromatic Quartet, a diverse foursome of pieces inspired by creative partnerships that opens April 19. One of the four pieces, “Lost Dance,� is a collaboration between gay Canadian choreographer Matjash Mrozewski and local fashion designer Adam Arnold. “Lost Dance,� set to an electronic composition by Owen Belton, will have its world premier in Chromatic Quartet. The other pieces are “Stravinsky Violin Concerto,� “Lambarena,� and “Liturgy.�

Siren Nation presents its annual tribute to Billie Holiday — “Lady Sings the Blues� — April 21 at Secret Society. The event brings together musicians from a wide range of stylistic backgrounds including Megan Spear, Sara Jackson-Holman, Led To Sea, Wendy Pate, Felecia and the Dinosaur, Tin Silver, Mary Flower, Michele Van Kleef, Kelly

Ritual Arts Tattoo & Body Piercing is putting a call out Photo by Blair Covert to queer visual artists for artwork that relates to ritual, in concept or construction, to display at the studio from May 6 to June 30.

The May 6 art opening will include a Fliptography booth, vegan sweets and treats, door prizes and music. For details on how to submit your art call 503-384-2551 or email ritualartstattoo@gmail.com.

Local performance artists and photographer Wayne Bund (aka Feyonce) opens a partial installation of his new exhibit MIMESIS: Fantasy and Friends April 21 at Place. MIMESIS is a process-oriented exhibition featuring photographs of gay and queer young adults in both their bedroom and in a “fantasy set� that reflects their childhood play. The project, which has received funding from the Regional Arts and Culture Council, explores the ways in which fantasy provides an outlet for queer youth without role models. The exhibit runs through June 10 and will be fully installed May 19.

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Allison Moon hosts LIT!, an evening of queer fiction, poetry, and embarrassing life stories paired with every writer’s favorite hobby — drinking. The event will feature readings by Cooper Lee Bombardier, Sossity Chiricuzio, A.M. O’Malley, Allison Moon, Galadriel Mozee, and Michael Sage Ricci.

O’Malley, a longtime zinester who works at the Independent Publishing Resource Center, recently launched a Kickstarter campaign to support the publication of her memoir, “Tiny Bones.� Check out O’Malley’s writing at swiftsparrowswallow.com.

The upcoming Q Center Concert Series features Tom Goss, Bobby Jo Valentine, and Kerry Hallett. Goss, a gay singer-songwriter with Catholic seminarian roots, will be performing at Q Center for his second time. Valentine was named 2011 Songwriter of the Year by West Coast Songwriter’s Association and appeared on television shows on ABC and NBC. Hallett is a Portland-based singer-songwriter with a new project in the works with Kira Clark.

Hole temporarily reunited this month when Courtney Love unexpectedly joined former bandmates Patty Schemel, Melissa Auf Der Maur, and Eric Erlandson on stage following a New York screening of Schemel’s documentary “Hit So Hard.� The band played “Miss World� and well as a cover of early Portland punk band the Wipers’ “Over the Edge.� “Trannysnatchers,� a film about a cult of gender outlaws with supernatural powers featuring members of the now-defunct Portland drag troupe Sissyboy, premieres April 20 at Hollywood Theatre. Producers, directors, and actors will answer questions following the evening’s screenings.

Durante Lambert (The Detail) hosts an all-ages SUPER FUSION choreographers ball April 21 at Branx featuring performances from Urban Arts, Kryptic, Moveo, LDT, RMX, The Detail, Nonsense, In Gauge, Kiel Moton, Jason Wickett, The Dance Movement, The Metzlers, Gerran Reese, NZB, Allison Franco, Ryan Smith, and Latya Caples. Before the show, live music by Molly Foote, Bobby Bracelin, and Chris Guy gets things started.

On the national stage, 19-year-old Josh Hutcherson (“Hunger Games,� “The Kids Are Alright�) will become the youngest person ever to win a GLAAD Vanguard Award at the media awards ceremony April 21. Hutcherson co-founded the Straight But Not Narrow campaign and will join the ranks of previous winners including Kathy Griffin and Jennifer Aniston.

“Trannysnatchers�

• Auto • Home • Renters • Motorcycle • Boat/RV • Business • Non-Profit • Workers Comp • Bonds • Life/Health call us for a quote

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April/May 2012 • 31

THE GOOD LIFE

Cultivating Life I’M A GIANT CARROT

By LeAnn Locher PQ Monthly

If you are what you eat, after this past year of changing up my diet, I’m a giant walking carrot. About a year ago I set out on a journey to change up my health, and it began with what I was eating.

I do a lot better with what I can have versus what I can’t. Tell me “no” to something, and it’s all I can think about. A no carb diet? I dream of big bowls of pasta. A ban on sugar? I crave chocolate chip cookies.

Author Michael Pollan’s mantra “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants” resonated with me. Inspired to change up my diet in 2011, I focused more on what I could have — being fruits and vegetables — as a way of eating better and what I discovered has changed my life. In the end, I’ve become the woman who craves kale, salads, and roasted vegetables.

If you’re rolling your eyes, I would have too a year ago. Here’s what I learned:  Prioritize your meals around produce. The biggest shift has been beginning with the vegetable as the main ingredient versus the meat or carb. The USDA released a replacement of the old food pyramid in 2011: half of the plate is filled with fruits and vegetables. Bingo.  Put your money in the best produce you can buy: organic, direct from the farm, as fresh as you can get it. The fresher the produce the better the flavor. The flavor factor from the freshly pulled carrots from my local farmers market stand are 100 times better than the bagged, dried out baby carrots from a big box store.  Develop staple meals based on veg-

etables you always have on hand. My two go-to’s have become roasted carrots, celery, onions, and any other root vegetable, tossed with a little olive oil and balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper, and roasted at 450 degrees for 20-30 minutes. Delicious and filling, roasting develops flavors in vegetables you never knew they had. This includes cauliflower. Another staple meal? Kale sautéed with a little bit of broth, and halfway through adding a can of fire roasted tomatoes and drained black beans. There are about 50 variations of this combination, but at the base of it all is the kale.  Rethink the meals you love and replace elements of them with vegetables.

Dreaming of pasta? I’ve replaced it with braised cabbage. I know it sounds crazy, but shredding a big green cabbage, and cooking it over low heat for 20 minutes or so, and adding a little bit of butter if you want near the end, delivers an amazing base for chicken sausage, homemade tomato sauce, or more sautéed vegetables.  Let fresh fruit star in desserts. My palate changed drastically after forgoing sugary sweets for a few months. When I had a dessert of Greek yogurt (dollops of the whole milk yogurt is worth the rich creamy goodness) layered with fresh strawberries and drizzled with honey, the sweet explosion in my mouth was heavenly. Give the processed sugar addiction a break and you’ll easily learn to love fruit in a whole new way.  Get to know super foods. Geek out with foods that can do more for you than fill your belly. That part of focusing on what you can eat versus what you can’t? I’ve focused on super foods, also known as whole foods with a high nutrient content. They’re things that can often help you actually lose weight because they increase caloric burn and help curb cravings. Examples? Apples, blueberries, almond butter, yogurt, and quinoa are but few. I’ve been getting to know a new-tome superfood, chia seeds, and am blown away by all they deliver: rich in fiber and iron and packed with omega 3 fatty acids, these seeds plump and gel up when mixed with liquid. I recently had a delicious chia pudding at a farmers market in La Jolla, Calif., that provided the perfect delivery vehicle for fresh fruit. It reminds me of tapioca pudding but without any dairy, processed sugar, and the added health benefits of chia.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia Pudding Find chia seeds in the wellness section of your local health food store. You can also use coconut milk or agave for sweetener, but in my tests I found the following makes the tastiest combination. Switch the vanilla for cocoa powder for a delicious chocolate version. ¼ cup cup chia seeds 1 cup almond milk 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 teaspoon or to taste maple syrup

Mix the above ingredients with a fork until well combined. Pour into serving glass and refrigerate or let sit for 30 minutes or more, allowing the chia to gel. Top with fresh fruit like strawberries or cubed mango, or whatever is in season. Makes one serving.

LeAnn Locher gardens and cooks from her home in North Portland.

Connect with her on Facebook at facebook.com/sassygardener.

32 • April/May 2012

PURPLE ELBOWS Here’s to your health — and to not getting kicked out of a tasting room Richard Jones PQ Monthly

Dear old Louie Pasteur called wine the cleanest and healthiest of beverages. Yeah, he pasteurized milk, but he didn’t pasteurize wine. Hey! It’s naturally healthy.

Milk made Pasteur famous, but wine was his passion. Good choice!

Just one catch: the health benefit comes with two qualifications.

(1) Moderation. You knew that, didn’t you? But did you know that Mother Nature discriminates against gals? This has to do with gender and body fat. In short, ladies should limit themselves to about four or five ounces a day, while gentlemen can handle six or seven ounces.

(2) These benefits increase when you combine wine with dinner. Wine helps you digest your dinner.

One side note: well-paired wines and food can be the best event of your day. On the other hand, bad food-wine combinations can be worse than grandma’s improvised medicines.

Let’s postpone food and wine pairings for another day.

A few good practices on the winery trail First rule: Designated driver. Let’s repeat that. Designated. Sober. Driver. Do as I say, o.k.?

Second rule: No perfume, no aftershave lotion, no whiff of MeltaStove oven cleaner.

Please! These things overwhelm delicate wine aromas.

You put last week’s pay check in the gas tank? Let’s head for the fresh air of the vineyards and the cheery atmosphere of the tasting room. (Bring cash. Winery owners have to protect themselves from folks who confuse “wine tasting” with “a free drunk.”

You need not look like a beginner — even if you are. No shame. Everyone had a first time. If you saw, “Sideways” you’re ahead of the game. Just avoid everything the actors did in the movie.

Before you get your first pour, look around the room and locate the dump bucket. If you don’t see one, ask the hostess for one. If they don’t have one, try to locate a handy flower garden outside that looks as if it would be grateful for a few drops of pretasted Chardonnay.

Memorize five words: Sight. Swirl. Sniff.

Sip. Savor. Spit.

The color of the wine can give clues about it. So can the aroma. (Swirling wine in the

glass helps.)

A dozen messages come from the taste.

Fo rg e t t h e exotic fruits wine writers love. Does it suggest fruit or not? Any oak?

Spit? Well, you’re not just interested in swilling, are you?

Big no-no — avoid the “Fill ‘er up” approach. Bad for your health. Yeah, I know what they did in “Sideways.”

Next: the anatomy of a wine glass.

Bowl, stem, base. That’s it. Don’t forget the stem. It ser ves a purpose. Really!

Each wine has an optimum temperature. Most white wines taste best from 45° to 50°. If the winery ices them down — and they often do — wrap your hand around the bowl to warm the wine up a tad. If the wine is at a pleasing temperature, hold the glass by the stem. Makes sense, right?

Generally, start your tasting with dry wines and leave dessert wines for the last.

If you drink sweet wines first that will make all the dry wines that follow, even the greatest wines, taste bitter. Ask the hostess to suggest a sequence.

Evaluation? Just the basics at first. Does it please you — or not?

Unless your memory carries 12 gigabytes, making a few notes will help you remember which wines you liked — and which ones you dumped. Your notes could be helpful on your next w ine-buy ing adventure.

Believe your own taste buds. You are the world’s greatest expert on which wines you enjoy. Don’t let some huffy cork sniffer tell you what you should enjoy. Only you can decide that. Taste buds vary from person to person.

Common courtesy calls for not blocking access to the pouring tables. And yes, you’ll meet some self-important bozos set on making it impossible for you get around them to get a sample. Be nice. Okay?

Know when to stop. What goes though your mind when you see someone totally plastered? Would you wear a T-shirt advertising you as the Town Drunk? No, I didn’t think so.

And that’s the reason to use the dump bucket. You can taste more wines without getting blottoed. Kinda makes sense, doesn’t it?

Relax. Don’t rush. Enjoy wine — in moderation. That will probably add a few years to your life. You can live with that, can’t you?

Now go out and enjoy every healthy moment.

Richard Jones has imbibed a great deal of vino in his years as a winemaker, wine judge, wine writer, wine publisher, wine lecturer, and wine traveler. When he doesn’t have his nose in a glass, he works as a freelance reporter. pqmonthly.com

THE GOOD LIFE

EAT, DRINK, AND, BE MARY Completing the Circle

By Brock Daniels PQ Monthly

In the bustling world of instant gratification, fast food, and rapidly mutating technology, eating fulfills our primal instinct to suppress hunger, but how often are we aware of what we put in our bodies? Feeding ourselves can coincide with nourishing our souls. Mind, body, and spirit — complete well-being starts with conscious eating, and an understanding of a bigger picture.

Inspired by spiritual leader Supreme Master Ching Hai, Tran M.P. and her conscious crew at Sweet Lemon Vegan Bistro in Bethany Village understand compassionate living.

Offering creative Eastern fusion dishes, Tran, a 20-year vegan, takes eating this way to another level.

“I am humbled and honored to serve my community,” Tran explains. “It is not about not eating animal products. It is completely about finding ways to serve my community to share our love.”

Ever y week Sweet Lemon donates time and food to organizations in need.

“It completes the circle,” Tran says. “I was looking for a restaurant that served vegan food, and when I had trouble finding one, I started my own. Portland has been good to us, so it is now our turn to return the favor.”

Nobility, compassion, honor, and love … foundations for higher living. Mix in some passion for good food, and you find Sweet Lemon Vegan Bistro.

Jumping Princess ($ 8) is a required dish for any foodie new to the vegan scene. Using yam flour and soy protein, Tran transforms dough into little handcrafted faux shrimp so real in texture anyone would be fooled. Baked to crispy perfection, the golden tidbits are A dish called “Perfection.” sautéed with sweet onion and red bell peppers, and piled high on green crisp lettuce.

Tomato-infused rice sprinkled with fresh ground black pepper escort the dish to completion. Sweet, fresh, and

simple — the glory is in the attention to detail.

Dancing Drumsticks ($5) are the highlight of the menu, and an extraordinary replacement for a bony chicken wing.

Roasted meatless drumsticks are caressed with aromatics, soy, sesame, ginger, and love.

Formed around lemongrass shoots, the “meat” absorbs the fresh flavor of the lemongrass internally. Tender as you bite down, the flavors are balanced and concentrated — a true vegan miracle.

Sweet Lemon Vegan Bistro is a family affair. With a passion for baking, Tran’s sister took

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her hobby of baking to the next level, and shares her masterpieces with her guests. Some cooked and some raw, there are treats for any type of vegan. Tran had us try their Coconut Cake ($5), and I am completely amazed at the quality and flavor of this animal-free indulgence. Layers of chartreuse coconut cake stand proudly supported by rich, creamy, sweet, blonde filling. Soft, rich, tender, and moist, this dessert holds its place in line with some of the top desserts ever.

A fantastic way to end a beautiful meal, or as I prefer, a great way to begin your feast!

Making a decision on the name of the restaurant was not an easy Photo by Xilia Faye, PQ Monthly task for Tran. It was important that the name reflect their intention to not only serve good food, but to serve their fellow people.

They settled on Sweet Lemon, she says, “because with the right touch even the sourest things in life turn sweet!”

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Brock Daniels, a Pacific Northwest native, has studied wine, culinary arts, gastronomy, and loves researching new food.

Brock has written a self-published cookbook titled “Our Year in the Kitchen.” Reach him at brock@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

PQ Monthly is published the 3rd Thursday of every month. Please contact us for advertising opportunities at 503.228.3139 www.pqmonthly.com

April/May 2012 • 33

IMAGES

SEE AND BE SEEN We want to see more of you! Do you have photos you’d like to share in the pages of PQ Monthly? We’re looking for shots of our readers and their families and friends on vacation, out on the town, volunteering, taking a stand … you get the idea. Send your photos along with a photo credit and caption to info@pqmonthly.com, post them on our Facebook page, or tag PQ Monthly in them.

Included in this month’s photos are shots from the PQ Monthly Press Party, March 15 at Local Lounge; Human Rights Campaign’s Mad for Plaid Bowling fundraiser, March 24 at AMF Pro 300 Lanes; Portland Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence “Sing Out Sister!” fundraiser, April 4 at Voicebox Karaoke; SMYRC Official Ribbon Cutting Party featuring God-dess and She, April 13 at SMYRC’s new home on NE Sandy; and Red Dress Party, April 14 at an industrial property in the Pearl District.

Mad for Plaid photos by Izzy Ventura SMYRC photos by Julie Cortez Sing Out Sister! and Red Dress Party photos by Xilia Faye

34 • April/May 2012

pqmonthly.com

IMAGES

pqmonthly.com

April/May 2012 • 35

Business Directory PQ Monthly is published the 3rd Thursday of every month. Please contact us for advertising opportunities at 503.228.3139

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MORTGAGE

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April/May 2012 • 37

THE FUN STUFF

ASTROSCOPES WITH MISS RENEE End Up Tales Miss Renee aka Tarot Chick is an empath, tarot card reader, and spiritual astrologer of 19 years based out of NE Portland. She loves love notes so feel free to holla or schedule a tarot / astrology chart session: that_tarot_chick@yahoo.com.

GEMINI:

Juicy news! Flirty Venus is fluttering her way through Gemini for the next FOUR months! Saturn lends the usually fickle Gemini Venus stability, a desire to pick a course (or a lover), and follow-through.

Ground your artistic pursuits. What do you value? Who do you value? Why? Think long term.

ARIES:

Hallelujah! Your ruler, Mars, is officially moving forward again. With freedom- and revolution-loving Uranus in harmony with your Sun, you couldn’t sit still if you tried, Speed Racer. Hopefully you utilized the three months of retrograde wisely by re-evaluating, reworking, and fine tuning your initial plans.

Ready, Steady, GO!!!!!

TAURUS:

New Moon in Taurus on the 21st gives the already ridiculously blessed Bulls even greater opportunity to magnetize exactly what’s needed. With the“engine” planet, Mars, now in forward motion as of the 14th providing impetus, creating a new moon ritual is akin to Set It And Forget It. Get witchy: Manifest!!

ANSWERS TO PUZZLES ON PAGE 39

CANCER:

North node (a “soul’s aspiration” astro point) in restless/adventurous Sagittarius is motivating and irritating you.

Trying to go past your comfort zone may be leading to fear-based erratic behavior. You’re really not a lunatic. (I’ll vouch!)

You just need to slow down, acknowledge fear, and work through it.

LEO:

Leos, the Kings and Queens of the zodiac, love to be acknowledged and obeyed! Mars, the “engine” planet is finally back to forward movement, readily doing your bidding on the side projects you discovered while pouting through the exacting retrograde over the last three months. Time to shine, your Majesty.

VIRGO:

I hope you ate your Wheaties, honey, cuz “Action Jackson” Mars i s n ow i n f o r w a rd motion in your sign after three frustrating months of retrograde. Luckily chatty Venus in Gemini is gifting you fruitful collaborators out of the woodwork! Venus equals what you value, so exercise that famous Virgo pickiness.

LIBRA:

You’ve my express permission to flirt, be frivolous, and to take a vacation from all the heavy responsibilities you’ve been shouldering for months. It’s had its place, but your ruler Venus moved into Gemini, and is all about variety. Taste as many flavors as you want, honey. I’ll never tell. ;)

SCORPIO: Scorpio’s key phrase: “I desire.”

Taurus’ key phrase: “I manifest.” The new moon in Taurus April 21st is the PERFECT time for you to dig deep and uncover your deepest desire. Then make a moon ritual to draw it down. Careful what you ask for doll, yo mojo is strawwwng.

SAGITTARIUS:

Oh the frustration of striving without being rewarded the satisfaction of attainment! Sags are deeply independent, but sometimes you gotta come down from the mountaintop and be with the people. Venus opposing you in A.D.D.-ish Gemini says maybe it’s time for a new mantra: “Om variety. Om chitchat. Om network.”

CAPRICORN:

Cappies like the real deal. A full meal. But don’t underestimate the value of a snack. Your ruler, Saturn is still retrograde ‘til June, so the full picture ain’t so full just yet.

New Moon in “I manifest” Taurus can bring you the perfect yummy you need to tide you over.

AQUARIUS:

Mars retrograde’s been harshin’ your mellow, but with it moving forward again, so can you!

Um ... as soon as you figure out where exactly that is! Never fear, Venus in harmony with your Sun in variety-oriented Gemini will help you taste the rainbow ‘til you figure it out. Mmm, candy.

PISCES:

Mars retrograde opposing you for three months may have left you with vague frustrations, odd roadblocks, and a gargantuan bar tab.

Now that Mars is moving forward again, the thorn in your side may come into focus. Channel your anger into a resolution and give your poor liver a break, hon.

PQ Monthly is published the 3rd Thursday of every month. Please contact us for advertising opportunities at

503.228.3139 • www.pqmonthly.com

38 • April/May 2012

Casual hating

By Anonymous

We’re three dates in after meeting on OKCupid —an 86% match — and three drinks deep at Muu-Muu’s that Saturday night.

“Maybe this is the beer talking,” I ask boldly, the beer definitely talking, “but I like you a lot. We should be boyfriends.”

You avert your eyes, look down at the table. “Here’s the thing,” you say, “I’m just looking for a fun thing …”

“What the fuck,” I interrupt, “does that actually mean?”

“I just want to date casually right now.”

“What does ‘dating casually’ mean to you?”

Your face is as blank as a test pattern. “I just want to have fun?”

“Seriously! What the hell do you mean when you say you just want a ‘fun casual thing?”

Silence. You frown slightly, still avoiding my gaze.

I go on. “Does it mean you just want sex? There’s plenty of sex out there, bars and bathhouses and apps and websites packed full of guys who just want to fuck. Do you just want people to hang out with? Because there are friends for that, and coworkers, and family, and the drunks at the dive bar who would love to tell you their life stories.”

“That’s not what I…,” you say weakly. I don’t let you continue.

“Do you just want to cuddle and watch movies, sleep in each other’s arms tonight, but not have to call me tomorrow? You want someone who won’t bother you if he’s sick or sad or scared?”

“Are you just going to attack me?” you say coldly.

“This isn’t a fucking attack, dude. This is calling you out.

There’s no such goddamned thing as casual dating! You’re dating them or you’re not. You’re into them or you’re not!”

“I’ve dated guys who are into something casual before,” you say, grabbing your coat and telephone.

“Well, yes — there are lots of 21-year-olds and emotionally stunted losers out there. That’s not the point!”

“And what do you think the point is?”

“Not asking someone to be the filler of a void that belongs only to you!” I shout. “Not being willingly half-alive, halfpresent, half-assed with someone else just to avoid the hard stuff! Having fun, yes, and being casually yourself, yes, but also being a fucking human being, and letting someone else be a human being. Not saying that the only things you want are the fun, casual parts, because that’s only a fraction of all this dating shit! The point is not to waste your time and everyone else’s time going on dates like a fucking adult if you aren’t actually interested in an adult relationship!”

“I’m out of here,” you say, standing up, “and you need to cool the fuck down.”

I grab my beer glass, splash the last of my porter onto your white shirt. “No, dude. You cool the fuck down — and don’t pull this shit on anyone else. Don’t go on dates if you don’t want to date!”

And that, kids, is how I got 86’d from Muu-Muu’s over an 86 percent.

How did your romantic encounter end up? Send anonymous stories, protecting names and identities, from awkward dating— and other—scenarios to us at enduptales@PQMonthly.com. pqmonthly.com

THE FUN STUFF

QUERY A QUEER

and even homosexuality (in which people are often criticized for being “too much” under the guise of health concerns). Ponder that one for a moment.

At the core of “slut-shaming” is the insinuation — or out-right assertion — that a person’s sexuality is excessive or inappropriate and ought to make the individual in quesAre you a lesbian puzzled by gay men? A tion feel ashamed. Now, that last part may transgender person pondering bisexuality? not always be intentional, but it doesn’t have to be; shame and judgment are inextricably linked.

A straight person perplexed by queers of all Let’s say a friend has recently begun having casual sex with stripes? PQ is here to help you through your multiple partners. This fact alone does not justify an inter“questioning” period. Send your questions to vention or a lecture on the possible roots and consequences info@pqmonthly.com and put Query a of such a lifestyle. Despite society’s messages to the contrary, it is possible to have a healthy and active sex life outside of a Queer in the subject line. monogamous relationship. Does that mean that sexual promiscuity is without potential risks? No — but what is?

Question: The concept of “slut-shaming” is confusing to Plenty of other activities can be hypothetically tied to emome. On one hand, being called a “slut” is certainly used as tional distress and poor health. For example: I really like to a weapon against people to disempower them; however, eat cookies. Can feelings of self-loathing lead a person to eat it’s also said that promiscuity can be an expression of a whole box of cookies? Sure. Can eating a lot of cookies lead deeper self-loathing or even a social problem if it spreads to suffering and disease? Potentially. Does my fondness for suffering and disease. Does pointing this out count as “slutsweet treats necessarily imply that I hate myself and am desshaming?” tined to develop diabetes? No. And you probably don’t feel compelled to point out that possibility.

Answer: Though you are asking specifically about sexual Now, let’s say you know for a fact that your friend recently went “promiscuity,” the framing of your question speaks to through a difficult break-up and is having drunken, unprothe oft-questioned line between passing judgment and tected sex with strangers. Both their emotional state and their expressing concern that marks debates about fat-positivity risky behavior may be cause for concern. Even so, “pointing out” that their sexual promiscuity may be symptomatic or pre40. Miners’ passage THEME: HEALTHY LIVING dictive of emotional or sexual health problems is probably the 41. Swamp plant least direct route to take in expressing your concern.

ACROSS 43. Yelled to shoo a cat 44. Puzzle in pictures ‘Cause let’s be real. All that sex your friend’s having isn’t the 1. Landing road 46. “Smells Like ____ Spirit” by Nirvana problem. It’s how and why your friend is doing it. Instead of 6. *The ___ cage protects the heart 47. *A focal point in workouts lecturing them about the frequency with which they get laid, and lungs 9. Slang for heroin 13. Billy Joel’s “_____ Man” 14. International Labor Organization 15. Formed by running water 16. Imitating 17. Santa’s helper 18. King’s domain 19. *Ca or K, e.g.

21. Nightmare character 23. He played Opie on “The Andy Griffith Show” 24. Disdainful, pouting grimace 25. *When exercising, you get ___ 28. Between mini and maxi 30. Metamorphic rock 35. Makes a mistake 37. Bart Simpson’s sister 39. Saint in Mexico

48. Type of coat 50. Dame ____, Australian celeb 52. Christian Chi-___ symbol 53. The upper one is used for ruling 55. Coffee pot 57. Allegiance 60. *E or D, e.g.

64. Former French currency 65. Ring of flowers 67. Singer Cara 68. *Some need more of this than others 69. Be in debt 70. What a jazz singer does 71. Bear lairs 72. Not pre-owned 73. Commotions

DOWN

32. Bring upon oneself 33. Cache of money, e.g.

34. Official language of Lesotho 36. Nonlethal gun 38. Wine and cheese descriptor 42. Tedium 45. Carry, as in heavy bag 49. Ladies’ Easter accessory 51. 2012 Oscar-winner “The ______” 54. Stocking fiber 56. Those in organized crime relating to narcotics 57. *Your doctor usually keeps one on you 58. Like never-losing Steven 59. Greek god of war 60. “The ____” talk and entertainment show 61. Known for notebooks 62. Keen on 63. Loch ____ 64. Psychedelic drug 66. Female sheep

1. Junk e-mail 2. Cone-shaped quarters 3. Often asked to “go away, come again another day” 4. Like a special circle 5. Organized persecution of ethnic group 6. Cambodian money 7. *Not well 8. Very successful 9. What victim did in court 10. Armor-____ 11. USSR to USA during WWII 12. *Usually busy after the holidays 15. *Leafy edibles 20. Indigo dye-yielding shrubs 22. Where bugs are snug?

24. Improper act 25. *Ventricular beater 26. Superior’s command 27. Cherokee or Hopi, e.g.

29. *Regimented eating 31. *Where green tea tradition comes from

pqmonthly.com

establish yourself as a safe (read: non-judgmental) person to talk to about emotional and sexual issues. The more open we are about our sexual lives, the less likely we are to engage in behaviors we know to be unhealthy.

That said, it does seem reasonable (and non-shaming) to ask about their feelings as well as their approach to safer sex (both in terms of protection and disclosure). I’m not an advocate for beating around the bush, but I think it’s important to be honest and kind when expressing concern.

It should go without saying at this point that calling out sexual promiscuity generally as a “social problem” is slut-shaming because it places blame for issues such as infidelity and the spread of disease on the frequency with which a person has sex. These need not go hand-in-hand, particularly if one is an “ethical slut.”

While this may seem a contradiction in terms due to the stigma associated with the word “slut,” it ought not be such a radical notion. You may be familiar with the book “The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures” by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt.

While not perfect, the book provides a framework for maintaining multiple sexual (and/or romantic) relationships with honesty and integrity.

The authors define “slut” as “a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.” This is not to say that all “sluts” are ethical or all sex is good and healthy.

But rather that it is possible to be sexually promiscuous in a way that serves one’s emotional needs and protects their physical health.

Having multiple sexual partners isn’t for everyone. Some folks try it and decide they don’t like it. Still, it is better (in my opinion) to support our friends in finding a healthy expression of their sluttiness than to discourage an active sex life out of a fear it might get messy.

-Erin Rook, PQ Monthly staff writer

April/May 2012 • 39

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